#all my fanfic WIPs are ruined forever
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⋆⋅welcome⋅⋆
call me ellis. he/him pronouns. trans, pansexual. fanboy. chronically online, i write fanfics and poetry. i stand with palestine. ambiverted infp-t. type six. sagittarius. gmt +9:30. founding fuck. just a jolly little fella tryna get by. i run @onedirectionandblank, the @bemyvalentinechallenge, and @thecornerwehaunt - please check them out.
autumnleavesforwinter -> holes-in-my-false-confidence -> timecanalwayshealyou -> roundagaininanemotionalblender -> theblackdog-taylorsversion -> fandomestloser
⋆⋅links⋅⋆
my ao3
my spotify
discord: loneolecowboy - dms welcome.
fandom list, fic masterpost, requests, asks, tags beneath the cut
⋆⋅fandoms⋅⋆
one direction/solo - this is my main fandom. i rb all sorts, i discuss music, and i write fanfics. my main 1d fic atm is on hiatus. will be a few months before i return to it.
hamilton - this is my other main fandom. i rb my mutuals fics, and the occasional fanart. i discuss the songs and write fanfics. my main wip atm, watch the sun rise, is being updated as regularly as i can make work!
5sos - side fandom. i dont fic around here, but i *do* talk about their music a little bit (and calum. because like. calum.)
marauders - side fandom. i write fanfics (predominantly wolfstar) - all linked below.
rwrb - side fandom. i write fanfics, again, linked below.
heartstopper - side fandom. currently only wip fanfics, but hoping to get some out soon! mostly tara&darcy.
nevermoor - side fandom. currently only wips - mostly morrigan&cadence or hawthorne&___ fics atm.
noah kahan - side fandom. i discuss music and cry a lot. like a lot lot. was at melb. n1 of the stick season tour<3 (acoustic set!! view between villages!! passenger!! help me!!!!!) (seriously please leave asks/reach out, i love talking about noah.)
others:
ed sheeran
hozier
olivia rodrigo
conan gray
billie eilish + finneas
sabrina carpenter
doctor who
taylor swift
⋆⋅complete works⋅⋆
1d:
underneath the mistletoe - larry stylinson christmas au
tear away my tattoos - larry stylinson break-up au
just for a moment - larry stylinson break-up au
grey hairs - larry stylinson old age au
greatest fear - larry stylinson 1D reunion au
hold on - larry stylinson mental health au
orange juice - larry stylinson break-up au
gone - zayn's death au
they're singing deck the halls - larry stylinson advent calendar fic
challenge collections (including wolfstar, firstprince, 1d, hamilton)
whumptober 2023 - masterpost.
whumpcember 2023
whumpuary 2024 - masterpost
⋆⋅ongoing works⋅⋆
1d:
caffeine factor - ziam mayne coffee shop au - on hiatus.
letters from my bedroom floor - poetry compilation
hamilton:
watch the sun rise - fic post
⋆⋅coming soon⋅⋆
forever - fic post coming soon
2011 - fic post coming soon
painkillers series - series + fic posts coming soon
⋆⋅requests⋅⋆
i take fanfiction requests for almost any tropes and pairings, in the fandoms listed above. no explicit sexual content, no non-con underage, no a/b/o dynamics, and no y/n fics requests. one shots will most likely be written and posted within two months, depending on my personal schedule, and the complexity of the request.
⋆⋅tags⋅⋆
#mutuals - my lovely mooties
#ask answered - asks
#ellis is at it again - me completely bullshitting my way through life/being a complete dumbass. #ellis is angry again - me ranting/getting political
⋆⋅asks⋅⋆
ask whatever. be respectful. or dont. i dont really care.
⋆⋅mutuals⋅⋆
my lovely mutuals;
@jittyjames 💙
@enchantedlandcoffee
@keeganisabluegreener 💕
@felizusnavidad
@surrowndedbylights💡
@fansykiltentragedry
@queerhoodie
@elledino
@loveheartslouis
@larrysballetslippers
@braverytattoos
@littleohs
@hellolovers13
@parmahamlarrie
@l0veproof
@cc-horan28 🥔
@ravenclawdirectioner
@mynightsoutofsight
@weeping-in-the-willows 🍭
@skeelly
@fandomgirl1999
@idontwanttobeabuzzkill
@allll-these-ruins 🔞
@evilteapot 🫖
@lighter-like-a-feather 💋
@like-the-stars-i-shine
@youareinlovetv
@faintedlcve
@abodyhasbeenfound 🌌
@anniesmusingsoneverything
@starduckys 🦆
@lonelydncers
@berryzxx
@runwiththerain
@foaming-sea
@bodybetters
@a-beautiful-fool 🦋
@half-eaten-baguetteee
@fresasconsal
@alltheliars 🔪
@i-must-confess-i-am-an-idiot 🍁
@kurtcobainsgreencardigan 🩷
@octoberconstellation
@stars-over-ice-cream
@rep-meow-tay-tion 🌻
@justlikeyou
(i am at some point going to assign you all like. emojis or tags or something. it is just 1:18am and im delirious so not right now.) (also this is absolutely everyone i follow who follows me back. i would like to get closer to a lot of these people, as i dont talk much to most of them. i also am always up for meeting new mutuals but im socially awkward so you gotta reach out lmao.)
⋆⋅thank you⋅⋆
this post is regularly updated for challenges/works/links, etc.
#blog intro#intro post#mutuals#ask answered#akeyla's little sing songs#ellis is at it again#love yall
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20 Questions for Fic Authors
thanks for the tag @thebrandywine 💖
answers under the cut.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
268 works.
2. What is your AO3 wordcount?
1,256,253 words.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
RE. and still have the urge to write Gears but lol if you thought nivannedy was a rare pair...
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
nobody's perfect (TOG, pretty gen)
now drunk on lust I drown in you (forever within I'm lost in you) (RE, Chreon)
and who's to find the way right through you (RE, Chreon)
scattered fragments of time (that's all we are) (RE, Chreon)
how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans (RE, Piers-centric, also background Chreon)
5. Do you respond to comments?
always! i know i missed a couple, sometimes i take ages, but i do always try to respond bc i love and cherish nice comments.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
the bad endings on three words to last forever. i still like the angstiest one the most :'D
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
lmao like everything else idk i want them happy. i've written loads of fluff idk how to quantify which is the happiest.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
only ever got a few nasty comments thankfully, so no, not really.
9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?
yeppp. idk what does 'which kind' mean? anything that feels inspiring lol.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?
not really. i did start a few back in the day but i didn't really finish them. i am not really into crossovers tbh i don't even read them 99% of the time.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
yeah. someone was selling it on amazon pffth.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
a few. apparently five on ao3 lol but i think there was one or two back in the lj days too. might be wrong tho :'D
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
lol loads. at one point in life like... fifteen years ago, most things i wrote were co-written with a friend. and i've done it a couple of times after that too. i really like co-op stuff tbh but haven't found people to collab with lately.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
right now i would sell my soul for nivannedy. might already have.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
ehhhh at this moment i doubt i'll ever finish anything. maybe the lifeguard au? i was red-hot for the idea at first but then it kinda... fizzled out. kept changing. got ruined by pushy ppl lol. but maybe i'll get back to it one day bc i would love a nivannedy summer romance tbh.
16. What are your writing strengths?
uhm. characterization. dialogue. emotional shit? idk i think i do best when i have intimate moments with two people. tiny everyday moments and mundane shit. like that. if i get going writing sometimes flows super well and i think i can get consistently readable stuff done in one go. but that'd require getting going lol.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
action. i suck at action. i also suck at it in the way that i can't actually make myself start writing. i got way too co-dependent when i still had people excitedly participating in the process and now i sit here sad doing nothing :'D but anyway. writing action and having some self-discipline lol.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
depends very heavily on the context. in general i do think it should be all in one language for readability but there are exceptions. i've done it too lol but it was only like a line or two in finnish :'D
19. First fandom you wrote for?
diru, twenty years ago lmao, it's like a different lifetime. i only learned of the existence of fanfic at the ripe old age of nineteen lol but yeah it's still been so long now.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
asdjfngkn i can not choose between all of my children c'mon. uhm. am just gonna say the self-indulgent series bc it truly was so important to me for so long and i'm still devastated it ended. sigh. now i made myself sad again :'D
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Account update ! ( Ranting about Fortnight mv and kazujun / Tiktok acc for tekken edits? )
- Account update
I receive a lot of mailbox after I logged out! Sorry I’ve been invisible for a month , I have a lot of things to do irl so please forgive me . ( I will start working on all of your request , Thank you for requesting! aaa I love u guys so much! ) .
Also I just made a tiktok account for tekken edits / @Yurasbeentekken . you can follow me , but i will not update frequently because I more drawn to writing . Bhahahaha .
Fortnight Mv and Kazujun ( Fanfic Wip ) .
Warning : I don’t follow the plot in the MV , I just used a few reference .
Note : Anyone can use this as inspiration , It’s fine . We all can expand our headcanon . Do tag me , I would love to read about it ( or praising yall arts )
Starring Kazuya as Taylor swift . ( Yes role-reversal ) The setting took place on G-Corp lab where kazuya’s being experimented . Agree to become a lab rats for them for the sake of power . ( He’s literally a slave for power ) . I believe that he’s depressed at some point and he’s struggling with himself .
I imagined Kazuya wearing a mourning dress/suit in metaphorically way after he found out about Jun’s death and Jin’s existence . He’s empty and confused knowing the fact that he just lost the love of his life .
“I touched you , for only a fortnight”
Fortnight , a period of two weeks . Yes , their relationship is short but it gives impactful slap on Kazuya’s soul . Once in his lifetime , he can be vulnerable and safe .
“I love you , It’s ruining my life”
Hear me out , I believe that Jun ruined his reputation as a ‘Evil-Ceo’ . She stepped on his throne and tear his career as a evil man and this is the starting point of his failure . This is the first time where he’s in position where he need to choose either his devil gene or Normal life . ( Yes . maybe angel ) . In this process , He’s struggling . It weakened him until he lost in his father’s hand ( Twice or million time if you want to count his childhood lmfao ) .
But he DID loved her . He never felt like this , He found himself/He heal his inner-child/He’s in comfort .
I imagined he throw all of the lab reports and being absolutely insane after knowing that the love of his life just leave him alone in this world ( also the fact that he have a son too ) . He also scream ferociously , hurting the professor/doctor . asking the doctor to free himself so he can save her , even is too late .
Then , I want to put a scene where Kazuya remember all of the short moment with Jun . Dun Dun Dun , Flashback moment .
Also a flashback moment . Jun tried to help him . in other words….. FIX him . She’s this close 🤏🏻 to change his mind , but she failed because heihachi knocking on their ‘sweet home’ , Kazuya changed his mind and struggling again . Agree to fight Heihachi and leave Jun behind . Their relationship is not working out due to a weird circumstances .
“Thought of calling ya , but you won’t pick up”
Jun tried to search for Kazuya’s remains body but she don’t trace any clue . So she’s just let it be and raised jin all by herself . In metaphorically way , Jun called for him 1000 times using the public phone but he will never pick that call . Forever .
— So that’s all , for today . I have a lot of kazujun dump after ttpd released . Might update , frequently and share my thoughts! See you again .
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20 questions for fic writers
Hello. It's your girl and local toaster oven.
I was tagged by @fandomsbyladymelodrama uhh this is like the first post I've made on tumblr since forever so pls forgive.
How many works do you have on AO3? 18
What's your total AO3 word count? 106,955
What fandoms do you write for? A lot of GoT (Game of Thrones), A few for Arcane, and just recently FF7 (Final Fantasy 7).
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? imperfect, paradox, pragma, dunamis, x bombs x bullets.
Do you respond to comments?
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't think there is any. They all have a happy/hopeful ending because I know nothing else.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them, lul.
Do you get hate on fics? The only hate I received was recently and it's not even real hate. It was just a bot-generated guest comment. I was disappointed and my day was ruined. How dare no one hate me.
Do you write smut? No because there are so many other folks who write it better than I ever could so I just mooch off of them like I'm at a five-star restaurant (thank you for the food, besties)
Do you write crossovers? No.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? PFFFFFFFF-
Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I'm aware of.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have no idea if that one fic I wrote based off of @salzrand's art with the guitar counts.
What's your all-time favorite ship? Jorleesi (GoT) got me back into fanfic writing so I'ma have to go with them. Tsengru (FF7) is def a close second.
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I plead the fifth.
What are your writing strengths? Memes.
What are your writing weaknesses? Writing.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? *Angry Valyrian noises*
First fandom you wrote for? If we wanna go way way back to my 14 year-old tween self, KHR (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).
Favorite fic you've written? Gotta be Paradox. Thanks to the lovely and talented writers behind GoT, I was at my lowest point post 8x03 like many others. The trauma motivated me start typing away for the first time in over a decade since my last fic on FF.net. Personally, I don't think it's my greatest piece, but it's definitely one that came from the deepest pit of my soul and jumpstarted everything for me on AO3.
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for posterity (and so i can close the tab), i'm posting screenshots of the private skip/watch list i made for friends only - since i was too big of a dummy and didn't liveblog my initial tos watchthrough, to my ETERNAL FUCKING WOE, this is as close as i'm ever getting. sad! DISCLAIMER that i disagree with my past self on some of the skip/watch verdicts so please use the official spreadsheet (still a wip) as a guide if you're looking for that kind of thing.
of note from this first screencap: dagger of the mind, which i continue to feel normal about for no particular reason and definitely not relating to a movie with a brainwashing chair that came out in 2014. the corbomite manuever, which i dismissed at first and then came around to liking better later because of the little character moments. conscience of the king, which was actually the first trek episode i ever watched before i went back and did them all in official order (mistake, production order is better) and which of course got me into this mess. squire of gothos, which has this scene that inspired this fanfic. don't text.
it's also worth mentioning that i had to watch not one not two but THREE bad to mid episodes before i hit naked time and enemy within and then they put me right back in it with mudd's women. if i hadn't already seen conscience of the king and knew what was up i would have fucking quit. and that's why production order is superior
of note for this batch: the city on the edge of forever, in which a lot of important stuff happened, but also spock wore a little hat. catspaw, which is the first time i had an inkling of the idea that would later spawn this powerpoint (this is what "giving john crichton" means ifykyk). mirror mirror, which i didn't get until like a week later and then went insane over. metamorphosis, which made me so frothing mad it's unreal.
of note here: the immunity syndrome, which i have rewatched 60000 times for the spones. return to tomorrow, during which my eyes were dinnerplates start to finish. by any other name, which truly had so much going on including what i know in my heart was a tarsus iv reference. bread and circuses, which did indeed make me blush when bones pushed spock against the wall and spock went "really doctor?" i still can't think about it.
of note: the enterprise incident, which again caused mental illness related to the previously linked powerpoint. the paradise syndrome, which was the only amnesia episode, the first time kirk and spock mindmelded on screen, and so utterly fucking racist that all of that stuff was absolutely ruined beyond belief; i instantly moved to a google doc and to write down my mind palace version that doesn't involve All Of That. the one-two punch of the world is hollow + the empath, which made me a bones understander. the tholian web, which made me bonkers because i love a good fake death. plato's stepchildren, sections of which i had to watch through my fingers.
finally, of note for this batch: whom gods destroy, which unexpectedly brought back the brainwashing chair and excited me so much i had to pause the episode to collect myself. that which survives, bc the looney toons sfx made me scream laugh. requiem for methuselah, which genuinely induced a november 5th-like mania i didn't think i'd ever feel again. all our yesterdays, which was the worst i'd EVER felt for a space babe. and finally, turnabout intruder, which introduced "it's better to be DEAD than to be in the body of [x]" into my own personal lexicon.
ok that's everything! we have nine episodes left of tos to go back and watch before we move onto tng, but i know in my heart that tos will always be my favorite. i'll miss you tos :(
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WIP TITLE ASK GAME
aw thanks @zzoomacroom for the tag! no one's ever poked me for one of these before :)
RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
oh boy uhh I'll do both my original novels and my fanfic projects. I'm in a bit of a dry spell by my standards.
how to live with living forever/ruin (of bitten lips and broken hands)
gadling's burgess/lepidoptery
of ofrendas and dreams
minutes to midnight (OC novel if you're feeling fancy)
homecoming (OC novel if you're feeling fancy)
no pressure tags: @strandhai @arialerendeair @forfuckssakejim and oh god i don't talk to anyone on here really, do I? tagging anyone and everyone else who would like to participate :)
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Let the Ashes Crumble (WIP)
DS3 fanfic with Eygon/Irina
excerpted wip below the cut
“Eygon?”
He did not reply, but she could tell he was listening. After traveling together for so long, one could sense these things — the slight shift in his weight, or the attentive grip of his gaze. Irina wished he would show her his wound and let her heal it with her palm, imbued with the lost souls of ages past.
In the face of his stubbornness, she inched closer. “What if,” she began, but before she could continue, she bit down on her lower lip. Irina averted her face, letting the loose strands of her silver hair billow over her eyes.
“What?”
“What if I failed?”
Again, silence.
Irina understood silence. She could read in it the tumultuous churn of his emotions. Confusion, astonishment, and, unexpectedly, wonder. Eygon wasn’t entirely displeased by this question, but she knew he resisted the temptation to push it further; to stoke the fire she had unwittingly lit.
“You can’t fail,” he eventually answered. “Besides, I don’t see how. One more step, and we’re almost at the kindling.”
Irina smiled. Of course, it wasn’t a matter of whether or not she could. It was a question of volition. What if, in the end, Irina no longer wanted to bind herself to sacrifice? To be a firekeeper meant to conclude her journey. By extension, it would be the end of Eygon’s, and Irina was well aware of what happened to knights who have fulfilled their duty.
Nothing but an end. The finality of death. Freedom from the undying curse, and an eternity where they must be parted, their souls divided through the many cycles of rekindling.
She wished she could relay these fears, these nightmares which plagued her with each passing day. They had left Carim together on a mission, but now Irina no longer knew if it mattered. Carim must have become ruins since they left, and the people they once loved might be long dead. They had no one else left. She had no one else left, and once Eygon is gone, there will only be darkness, and the writhing souls that nip and bite at the sanctuary of her mind.
With a sigh, Irina sat on a boulder next to Eygon. She sensed his discomfort, his body growing rigid now that she drew closer.
“What if,” she tried again, “I want to fail?”
To her surprise, his answer came quickly.
“Then it is my sworn duty,” he said, “to put you to rest.”
Irina expected as much. She felt neither dread nor fear. Only relief. If she had to die, let it be by his hand; let it be by his side. Better than to wait, forever alone for a Chosen Unkindled, trapped in the memories of countless Firekeepers before her.
“I’m glad, dear friend,” she said, her breath light and airy. “If it’s by your hand, I don’t mind. Only,” she hesitated, tilting her head so it rested on his pauldron, “touch me one last time before you fulfill your oath.”
Next to her, Eygon is unmoved. Beneath his helm, he seemed to mull it over. What turmoil must he be going through? She wondered. She would never know, of course. He would never remove his helm or his armor. They would never know each other beyond the roles they failed to play.
“So this is it, then?” Eygon muttered under his breath. His tone was churlish, as if she had asked him to complete a tedious chore. “You’ll give up, just like that? This knight wasn’t sworn to protect a failure.”
Irina chuckled at that. “I know. You deserve a better maiden — one who would not fail you.”
He scoffed at that, as if her sentiments were a nuisance to him. Then, just as suddenly, his shoulders went slack. Only then did Irina notice that he had not moved her hand away from his pauldron.
“You did not fail me,” he said, a little more pensively. “Perhaps it is I— no, no use arguing about that now.”
Irina nodded. She understood. They both failed, in the end. They both found devotion in something other than their quest, and in Carim, that was the most profane act of all.
“Then let us stay here,” she said, moving her hand so that her palm rested atop his knuckles. “Let us wait and keep our lonely watch. So long as you’re with me, I won’t mind the dark.”
His heavy armor clinked raucously as he turned and rose abruptly. “I will agree to no such thing,” he solemnly declared. Without another word, he marched right off.
Irina called out to him. She shot her hand out, hoping it would graze his figure.
There was nothing. Eventually, the sound of his footsteps faded. He left her alone. Unable to perform his duty as a knight, he had abandoned her. Perhaps, she thought with great comfort, he would make the return journey home.
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For the NY ask game: 🥸 💥🪩 !!!
Hello darling! Thank you for the ask! Let's see what trouble I can ramble my way through.
Writer goal: Ask list for a new year
🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?
I have a few people that know, both friends and family. It's been awhile since I've mentioned or shown my family any of the ahem tamer works. I occasionally send the friends a snippet or chapter to see if a moment lands the way I've intended. One person that knows gave me a mug for Christmas that I absolutely adore that says: Fuck off, I'm writing.
-
[ answering the rest under the cut, cause I ramble. We know this ]
💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you’re most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
I've got several WIPs that I've been making progress on that I keep changing my mind about posting in installments or all at once. So far posting once I get further towards completion is winning out in regards to finally seeing Kept [ Daniel Brühl in the Art of Villainy world ], Malum House [ gothic romance Helmut Zemo ], the dual works The Lion's Pride and The Lion's Den [ Mads Mikkelsen in the Art of Villainy world ], or the working title Stay Forever [ darker!Steve Rogers as well as darker!Bucky Barnes ]. Oh boy I'm telling on myself for how many WIPs I'm hopping around in... cause there's also Make Believe [ fantasy au Mads Mikkelsen ], and two different versions of possessive Zemo - one that has no working title, and the other being Ménage à Trois. Beyond all that lies LJH proper, and the LJH au branch sequel Sins of the Father [ Helmut Zemo ]. Whiiich circles us to the other WIPs that are patiently waiting for their updates, including A Turn of the Knife [ Ransom Drysdale/ Knives Out prequel ], Unsettled [ Tom Hiddleston au ], and the next in the Loki WISH series.
I'm forgetting so many things. But those are the most recently touched works that actually have a coherent something being fleshed out and the characters are cooperating.
Something that's fun to share because it literally was the last thing I clicked out of, and I'm pretty happy with the photoset/ titlebar that gives some clues as to what's in store: here's the prelude to Malum House.
1876
The scent of soot lingers in the air. It seems to have permeated the very fabric of the world. Two days hence, the ruins of the estate still produce enough heat to keep most well away and add to the growing buffer between society and those of the household that remain.
The Baron doesn’t notice. The unsubtle whispers and long looks cast in the direction of the sole survivor of the fire fail to catch his attention. Even those that attempt to stand with him are ignored rather than leaned upon in this moment of tragedy.
Just home from abroad.
Oh, but I heard he was home for a fortnight.
And only able to save himself? Not a scratch on him.
Clearly someone saved his wardrobe.
Do they know how it happened?
You know I’m not one to say. But I heard –
-
🪩 Do you have any “good” writing habits you want to cultivate?
I've had a pretty good run recently on getting a word count in every day for the month of December. With the 2024 writing tracker already set up for bare bones recording of the number achieved every day, the intention is to more faithfully stick with it pushing forward. (I had a long dry spell in the middle of the year where I simply couldn't get the words to flow, no matter what methods I tried to jog things loose.) There isn't any set number to achieve daily, weekly, or monthly - and I do mark to indicate if I plotted by accumulation of inspiration, or worked with playlists. Essentially working hard to make sure a passion doesn't turn into a chore, and burnout doesn't steal the joy.
Something I miss from prior years, didn't really manage last year, and would love to work towards again, is challenging myself with prompts that shake me out of my writing comfort zone. I attempted little tweaks in 2023, but didn't attempt anything close to the month prompt challenges or word prompt challenges that seem -- at least in my experience -- to spark so much creativity. (It is, admittedly, very much writing by the seat of your pants.)
Is any of what I just described considered "good" writing habits? I hope so. I hope any words on the page - written, typed, daydreamed and stenciled in - qualifies as falling into the good category!
[ incidentally, I tried listening to a purely instrumental - and more mellow than I typically listen to - soundtrack while eating sour candy and ahaha boy did that simply reboot my brain every time I put a new bit of candy in my mouth. Definitely falls into the doorway reset theory for me, though hopefully the method works for others! ]
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3, 10, 17, 23
thank you!!
Writer's ask game
3. Talk about the first character you made
I think my first character was Mira Hart, though she went through a lot of changes before she ended up on the page. I created her wayyy back when I watched X-Men Apocalypse for the first time, before I even really knew what fandom was. Originally, she didn't have many of her final physical traits, just the wings. And originally, she ended up partially controlled by Apocalypse as a sort of tertiary Horseman, since he thought he could enhance and utilize her healing ability. And she was paired to Warren, not Hank as she would eventually be.
Strangely, in a way, the original Mira idea ended up not quite getting scrapped, but sort of splitting into two other ideas: the final version of Mira, and another OC of mine called Rae. Both ideas ended up getting very much edited and polished before I wrote them, but there's pieces of the original idea still present in both of the final fics that became of it.
10. Which genre do you hate to write and why?
Romance. And I know this sounds a little strange, given I have over a million words of fanfic published on AO3, but let me explain. I write romantic stories, but I do not write romance stories. I can't stand reading or writing stories where the one and only plot point is two characters getting together, or splitting apart, or whatever else. There's got to be something else going on for it to hold my attention. So I write action with romance, or comedy with romance, or drama with romance, but I could never write just romance.
17. Assign colours/ colour palettes to your WIPs
Ooh, man, okay, I've got a lot of WIPs. Here we go!
A Love Once New: silver, green, warm rose-pink
Smoke and Mirrors: coral, cardinal red, smoky green-gray
Catch and Release: steel blue, royal blue, black
Who Waits Forever Anyway?: gold, mocha brown, sandy tan
Desert Song (Previously Unreleased): spring green, hot pink, black
Symphony in Silver: silver (duh), warm red, dark green
Heartstrings: gold-orange (like sunlight), deep brown, teal
Taking Flight: ginger-orange, slate gray, gold-green
Ruin (upcoming Prometheus fic): eigengrau, ember-orange, cornflower blue
(I have reasoning behind each of these, but in the interest of brevity I won't spell it all out here)
23. How do you stay on track story-wise?
I tend to keep it mostly contained within my head, but I've been outlining my stories more lately. Mainly I just have the idea of where I want it to go, and I outline the individual chapters as they come.
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What kinda stuff are you writing about!!
Most of the stuff I'm writing right now are better call saul fanfics. I've always been more of a fanfic writer as opposed to making original characters and worlds.
A lot of my fanfic ideas are the "What if this happened instead?" genre. Like what if Gus rehired Gale and made him work with both Walt and Jesse? That would change a lot of stuff, and I had explored some ideas months ago, but I kinda stopped thinking about it as much as other ideas that were more interesting to me started crowding my mind. I don't want this post to get too long but also >:3c
Lately, I've been trying to come up with ideas for a fic where Chuck forgets to cancel his appointment when he's having his last breakdown, so he misses his appointment and his therapist shows up at his house concerned. And she ends up getting him to a hospital where he can be treated before he has the chance to do anything worse than tear his house apart. That event would completely change everything else that happens in the show, and would even impact the stuff that happens in BrBa, so it's been a lot to think about. I basically have to figure out a way for Chuck's life to become livable for him, plus I have to figure out how Saul can still happen if Chuck is still there and Kim doesn't divorce him due to Howard and Lalo never happening, and. Many other things.
But I have a rough outline of different things that need to happen, and I'm the type of person that daydreams or fantasizes a lot throughout the day, especially at night, so it's nice to have a pet project that has some interesting challenges. I get to justify thinking about blorbos all day because it goes back to something I want to write about.
The one wip I mentioned in my tags was a Chuck and Howard smut that I was writing during January this year. I planned to have it finished and posted on Valentine's Day, but I got the stomach flu like two weeks before that which completely ruined any ability to write people having sex. I tried to keep writing after I wasn't sick anymore, but it was kinda done for at that point, since the deadline was actually really motivating me. I've thought about trying to write more on it again, and I've even considered posting it in its half finished state with an author's note that it's not done. There are very few Chuck and Howard fics, and I only ship them recreationally, so at first I wasn't so upset and not finishing and posting the work. But the more time drags on, the more I feel like there are people who would actually like to read my rarepair fanfic, even if I posted it unfinished with a warning and the possibility I'd finish it later. It works where it is right now, but it's very much not as long as I wanted it to be and there's a lot more stuff I wanted to add that I just don't feel the motivation for at this point. But also that doesn't mean I should keep it locked up forever.
I have some other fic ideas that I've been floating around, but my brain has been consumed by my Chuck Lives AU for a while and it's kinda hard to focus on other stuff. I do have a google doc of all my fic ideas though, and I visit it every now and then when I'm in the mood to write or want to refresh what all of my ideas are. I've been a lot better lately at actually writing down ideas as they come to me so that I don't forget them later.
#long post#not really but tagging it just in case#my own writing#I love talking about my fic ideas because it's fun to actually share what im up to#i dont have any irl friends that like brba and bcs so i only get to talk about my fic and art ideas online#most of my fic ideas revolve around chuck because hes my favorite character and i think his therapy era is so interesting#i do have some fics posted on ao3! though they are just 2 very short scenes about chuck being sick or getting better#ive made some progress with my wips but its all like. lateral progress? is that what its called#when you work on a lot of things one step at a time and get them all a little more done. instead of just working on one thing#and getting that done before moving onto the next#anyways this is getting too long#if anyone ever wants to chat about all my fic ideas and maybe troubleshoot or just shoot the shit about writing stuff I'm available in dms#id even be okay talking on discord too! I'm also kaffeebaby over there. and on ao3 which I forgot to mention
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7 (Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it), 15 (If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?), and 16 (If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?) for the fic writers meme??
Oh! Trees! Bless you for including the actual questions 😍you're the best!
7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it
From my QuiObi, Vampire/Vampire hunter wip The things that are deadly :
" It is a breathless balance they’ve found here in a moldering hotel room; one easy huff and the entire thing will tumble down. Poised on a precipice as they are, Obi-Wan finds that time shifts. It changes. The relentless turning of a clock’s gears slow— hour, minute, and second hands still— and within every new moment that comes he discovers no shortage of forevers. Entire solar systems are created, live, die, and crumble into nothingness in the gentle quiet between one of Qui-Gon’s breaths and the next. Empires fall and bleed and bloat at every slow, blissful blink of Qui-Gon’s eyes. Unexplored lands are found, conquered, and left in ruins in the lined corner of every smile.
He is no stranger to eternity, and still here Obi-Wan is but a green and untried pupil. Obi-Wan studies Qui-Gon. He pens treatises in the hallowed chambers of his mind and commits them to memory, as scrupulous in his inquiry as any historian, any astronomer, any cartographer, if only so that he can have something to take with him when this peace inevitably breaks.
Nights slip by. Through each Obi-Wan waits for the plunge back to reality, but he is determined to live as fully in every moment as he possibly can while Qui-Gon is here and whole and his. "
So the main thing I like about working on this fic is I get to overwrite as much as I want and include all the the poetic language I want. My POV character here is an Obi-Wan that was once a poet and now a vampire, so I use that as an excuse to absolutely go to town on the prose, which is always fun. Playing too with canon, it's basically a version of Qui-Gon teaching Obi-Wan to live in the moment but, you know, they are in a shitty motel room, are a forbidden love/vampire and hunter doomed romance, and in the middle of a few days of sex. So, not remotely like canon except for if you squint, which is my fav way to play with canon, lolol
15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?
Not even kidding, probably seemed like a good idea at the time, my mpreg bobadinluke. The thought of seeing a pregnant boba fett pumped full of hormones and crying because his father's armor doesn't fit him anymore would make me laugh...so hard. So, so hard. And also feel bad for him, too, but mostly I'd laugh. Plus the whole scene where he's defending his home pregnant af, rampaging with his gaffi stick, I feel like that would be a cool visual.
16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?
You know, it's funny, because I remember a conversation with you last year where I said I'd probably only ever write quiobi and then leave fanfic writing forever because there's no way I would ever know any other fandom or characters well enough to write them, and now I've written.... a few more than that, lol. So like once upon a time I'd have said quiobi but now writing just one pairing forever sounds kind of boring.
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Uh oh Katsuki is in danger
I can’t believe it’s come to this. Every word in this post is going to bring me extreme agony.
I haven’t wanted to say anything about this for a while because I was a) scared of being right and b) extremely terrified of being right. I want a certain subsection of my meta posts to just fade into obscurity and have no one remember them. I want them to be wrong. I didn’t want to have to come back to this.
Fuck it. We’re here. It’s the endgame now.
Hi, let’s talk about how Katsuki is gonna have a bad time.
Horikoshi delivered unto us a terrifying message at Jump Festa 2022. @hanashimas has a good translation up.
I have desperately wanted to see the Japanese version of it, because holy shit is it cheeky. This asshole. This absolute bastard.
Towards the beginning, he states this:
MHA is at a state where it will reach its goal in a about year….if things go smoothly.
If things don’t go smoothly, then Yamashita [Daiki]-kun will probably be reading the same letter again next year at JumpFes.
I’ve been sluggishly drawing for more than 7 years now, but now that we’re in the Final Act, I plan to vent everything that I’ve been sluggishly saving up until now in it.
The way I read this is, everything he hints about in this letter is related to the endgame. It is the final arc. Any hints here are hints about how it all ends. This is it, buckaroos.
I’ve held off on my opinions about it because I wanted to see the setup of the endgame first. But I did have...feelings when I read the whole message. Those came through in my reblog tags.
I didn’t elaborate further also because I hoped to do so in a post someday (now). At the time I just was too busy and tired anyways. But you’ve asked, and so shall I deliver.
Here’s the line that sent the internet into a tailspin:
I’ve said this to Okamoto [Nobuhiko]-kun in LINE, but Katsuki will be having his greatest scene in the manga in future developments. I hope people who like Katsuki and hate Katsuki will look forward to it.
It’s cute. You’re all very cute. I’m sure Horikoshi giggled maniacally at your freak-out. I know I did.
But as a Katsuki fan, this is the part that had me screeching:
And then, we have Deku and Shigaraki.
Even though his consciousness is becoming more and more ambiguous, he’s [Shigaraki’s] a mass of destructive instincts and frustrations. He’s the greatest obstacle in Deku’s goal of “saving”.
Saving and Destroying are both born out of ego. Whose ego will win in the end? Is it even a matter of winning or losing? How will things go? What shall I do? What am I supposed to do??
Well, everything’s somehow gonna come off alright I guess!
Do your best, Deku! Destroy it all, Shigaraki! Die, All for One!!
“What? This part? Katsuki isn’t even mentioned! This is explicitly a section about Izuku and Tomura. Why on earth would you lose your mind over this vague bullshit?” - Unenlightened You, 2022
Because it’s in code, you sweet summer children.
The whole damn thing is very, very intentionally using conspicuously specific words to avoid setting off the alarms. Except they actually set off all the alarms. And that’s probably on purpose, because Horikoshi loves telling us exactly what to expect and lets our imaginations do the work to fill in the blanks and fool ourselves. He does this all the damn time.
How do I know? BECAUSE I CAN READ THE DAMN CODE!
It’s true, I’m not always right (gasp) about the ultimate meaning, but I can damn well tell when the code is there pointing in the generally correct direction.
And now I’ve gathered the signs and assembled the ruins and drawn the circles and pulled out the translation notes and done the calculations and I’m ready to motherfuckin’ do this.
So here’s the tea.
THEORY: Katsuki Bakugou is gonna be possessed
Table of Contents
I. The meta warning signs
II. “Wait, didn’t you say Izuku was gonna be possessed?” and other sordid tales
III. Maybe Izuku is actually a reliable narrator
IV. Katsuki’s greatest fear
V. The history of One For All
VI. Izuku’s unspoken feelings
VII. Izuku vs. Tomura but not like that
VIII. Decoding Horikoshi’s prophecy
IX. tl;dr À̴̡͍͑͘A̵̢̼̟͘͝A̴̢̪͎͒͑̚A̴̟͓̺͛̓͘À̵̪͔͍͊͝A̴̠͖̟̒̓̚Ä̸̡̙͔́͐͠A̴͔̫̼̿͠À̵̠̠͙͒͆Ä̸̢͔̪́̔͐A̴̙͎̪͋̐̒A̵̡̞̓̓̀A̸̘͖͊͆͊A̸̢̟̝̓̐͠A̴͍̺̟͑͝͠A̸̦͍̠͑̈́Ä̵͓͚͓́́͛A̵̺͓̿̔͘͜A̴͕͔͖̽̽͘A̴͕͖͉͆͊̓A̸̝̻͉̐͒A̵̺̞̾̐͜͠A̸͓͖̺͛̐͘A̸͎̝̻̒̈́͝A̵͇̪͎̾̿A̴̪͙͖̓͒A̸̫͖͖͐͌̕A̵̙͕̙̓͘͝A̵̻̙̼͊̈́͠A̴̞̘̟͊̾̕A̸̢̪͔̓̀͒A̵͎̞̪͊͛̀Á̸̢͇̺̚͝A̴̼͕͍̓̓͝Á̸̝̠̫̿͒A̸͎̫͙͑͒Ä̴̡̘̪́͐̿
Here’s what I’m gonna do for you. First, I’m gonna tell you what’s definitely not gonna happen (section I). Second, I’m gonna point out all the allowances I’ve made in my other predictive metas (section II). Third, I’m gonna walk you through all the foreshadowing and unresolved plot points leading to this theory (sections III-VI). Fourth, I’m gonna put all the pieces together for you (section VII). Fifth, I’m gonna decode Horikoshi’s Jump Festa message (section VIII).
And last: I must scream.
I. The meta warning signs
Do you know why the MHA movies exist? Sure, yes, capitalism, money, cool movies, shiny animation, yada yada. But that’s not what I mean. Do you know why the concepts of these movies exist?
These movies exist to show us what if scenarios.
Argue until you’re blue in the face about their canonicity. I could not possibly care less if they count as canon. The point is that they are showing us really awesome things that could have been in the manga proper but for whatever reason won’t be. The movies have been crossing possibilities off the list of things that could happen in the ending.
Two Heroes exists to give us an All Might and Izuku OFA team-up
Heroes Rising exists to give us an Izuku and Katsuki OFA team-up
World Heroes’ Mission exists to give us solo spectacle battles each for Shouto (Flashfire Fist), Katsuki (the thumbs-down victory pose), and Izuku (United States of Don’t Make Me Say It Smash)
These things happened in the movies PRECISELY BECAUSE they would not happen in the manga. We are not getting these things in the manga. All Might lost OFA’s dregs at Kamino Ward. Shouto is not going to use Flashfire Fist. Izuku is not going to do that unmentionable punching atrocity again if he knows what’s good for him. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Do you understand what I’m saying here? Did y’all see my little endgame bingo card? That little square on the last row labeled “BakuDeku out-of-sync or disagree”?
Katsuki is not getting a cool solo battle where he wins. He’s not getting an All Might or Endeavor victory pose. He’s not getting a fight where he uses One For All even temporarily. He’s not getting a beautifully-synced team battle with Izuku against a common foe.
So...what the fuck is he getting?
I’ve said this to Okamoto [Nobuhiko]-kun in LINE, but Katsuki will be having his greatest scene in the manga in future developments. I hope people who like Katsuki and hate Katsuki will look forward to it.
NOW you have my permission to lose your shit.
II. “Wait, didn’t you say Izuku was gonna be possessed?” and other sordid tales
Look, we’ve all said some things. Some we don’t regret.
I’ve gone deep into my theory several times on how I think Izuku could end up possessed by AFO or even someone else. Technically, I’m not saying that won’t happen still.
I’m just saying I’ve covered my bases.
I wrote this little prediction post a while back about how the MHA ending could end up a bookend of the beginning arc with the sludge villain. I broke the first arc down into a formula I believed could make its comeback in the final arc. That formula went a little something like this:
Villain possesses Person A
Hero saves Person A
Villain possesses Person B
Person A tries to save Person B and fails
Person A’s actions inspire a hero to save both Person A and Person B
And then I spent many words explaining ad nauseum how I knew which characters would be slotted into the formula, just not which spots they’d end up filling:
[...We] know the final battle is going to involve at least these players:
Izuku Midoriya
Katsuki Bakugou
Tomura Shigaraki or All For One
[...]
Will Shigaraki and AFO both be involved in the final battle? It’s possible. Shigaraki is currently possessed by AFO, and we don’t know if that’s going to be resolved before the final battle.
[...]
Will other characters be present? No idea. The possibilities here are endless.
So I’ve broken the events of chapter 1 down into a formula, and I ran it with many different characters. Although I can’t be sure who will play which roles, this is how I currently expect it to play out[...]
The point is, I knew there was a possibility I chose wrong. I knew it was possible Katsuki could end up possessed instead of Izuku, but I went with Izuku for the sake of exploring the formula. I wanted to follow that possibility to its logical conclusion because it interested me.
But I did consider multiple combinations. I did consider that the formula could be played almost exactly the same as it had been in the first chapter. I did consider the possibility that Katsuki would be the one possessed instead of Izuku.
I just kept it to myself because I...sometimes write fanfiction and wanted to use that scenario for something else.
So if you’re interested, read that post again and swap Izuku’s and Katsuki’s roles. See how well that works out. Now panic a little.
Then come back and read through this list of points I’ve lightly explored in other metas that are totally relevant now (click the link if you’d like to read the meta posts, but you’ll find the links repeat at various points in this post later on).
Katsuki is a major piece of the story-line about victims learning to accept help
Katsuki’s name means “self-victory,” so he probably needs to “defeat himself” in some way
Katsuki’s character arc ends with him saving the ultimate victim
The only fight that can end Katsuki’s character arc is Deku vs Kacchan, Part 3
Katsuki and Izuku gotta hold hands in DvK3
Katsuki saves Izuku’s heart by relating to him and opening up
The narrative rewards Izuku for imitating Katsuki
Katsuki has spoken his truth, but Izuku has not (and that’s kind of a death flag)
We’ve seen Katsuki’s “Save to Win,” but we haven’t seen Izuku’s “Win to Save“
Quirks and personalities are tied together, potentially by the concept of “heart”
The Second and Katsuki are connected, possibly by reincarnation
AFO may have the ability to control a person’s actions against their will
AFO may have killed the First, Second, and Third users by controlling them and forcing them to kill each other
Katsuki doesn’t want to be the reason for Izuku’s downfall
Katsuki is a point of weakness for Izuku
Izuku is Katsuki’s inspiration to save people, and Katsuki doesn’t want what happened to All Might to happen to Izuku
AFO is keenly interested in Izuku’s rage state and knows Katsuki works as his weak-point
Tomura is a beautiful butterfly, and Katsuki has the bug-catching net
Katsuki parallels Tomura
Katsuki also parallels Star and that’s terrifying
No seriously, he parallels Star, whom strategically sacrificed herself to cripple the enemy and save her team
If Katsuki somehow gets AFO, it would totally complete this parallel
AFO’s plan is to overwhelm OFA with hatred, but what if the person he possesses uses their emotions to possess him back?
Izuku is walking into the final arc with a smidge of hubris
I’ve connected way too many dots.
III. Maybe Izuku is actually a reliable narrator
All right, let’s see that foreshadowing!
How does everything that came before the final arc lead to this conclusion? Let me count the ways.
We’ve already seen the above page paralleled when class 1-A went to save Izuku at Kamino, but it could absolutely come back again. This is essentially Deku vs Kacchan, Part 0. We all know the Rule of Threes. I wonder if there will be a kid for Izuku to protect from Katsuki’s wrath in the final arc version. Tenko Shimura, perhaps?
Ah, the moment I would say the narrator Izuku has gotten his closest to lying to us. When you consider how Katsuki turns down Tomura’s offer to go villainous in Kamino, it really does make Izuku’s narration above seem rather harsh.
But, uh, the story isn’t actually over yet. We can’t say for sure Katsuki doesn’t end on the “path towards bad,” now can we?
Katsuki has been set up as an example of the “heroes and villains are two sides of the same coin” plot point. There are a lot of parallels between Izuku and AFO, which you could take to mean what you want. To me, it feels like AFO and Izuku are two sides of the same coin: pure good and pure evil. They espouse the same values but from their own camps. They are endpoints on the scale.
Katsuki isn’t on that same scale. His scale is shared with Tomura.
Because they are both compact essence of pure, destructive instinct. Katsuki just represents the heroic side of that instinct as the legacy he inherits from All Might.
We even have Tenko screaming Katsuki’s catchphrase at his origin.
The Kamino Ward arc sets these two up as parallels pretty explicitly.
And now, the fact that Katsuki is going to face Tomura without Izuku but with Best Jeanist around is a giant tell that we’re coming back to this point again. Tomura tossed his coin and landed on villain, but there’s more to it than that. His scale is not on pure good versus pure evil but freedom/instinct versus restraint/rationality. His beef is with society. And he thinks Katsuki should have the same problems with society he does.
Katsuki’s coin is gonna get flipped again. And if it lands hero-side-face-up, AFO is there sitting inside Tomura’s body ready to intervene just like last time.
We’re gonna finally find out what this threat was all about.
IV. Katsuki’s greatest fear
Take a look at all the imagery of Katsuki fighting off the sludge villain’s puppetry in chapter 1/episodes 1 and 2. It’s all over this prediction meta. There’s an entire section dedicated to possession imagery in the whole series in this one.
And look at his face when he vents his guilt about how his own kidnapping resulted in All Might’s retirement.
Just so you know, he’s not over it.
I’ll say it again:
I don’t think it’s a stretch for me to say one of [Katsuki’s] worst fears is being a victim, particularly as a means of getting to someone he cares about such as All Might (just look at his trauma over what happened with the sludge villain in middle school). After all, Katsuki believes All Might’s downfall could have been avoided if only he had been strong enough to not be victimized by AFO and the League of Villains.
So it’s not that Katsuki wants to protect Izuku; Katsuki doesn’t want to be the reason for Izuku’s downfall.
Katsuki did not get his revenge against Shigaraki at Jakuu. He was blatantly denied revenge, in fact.
So he’s going into this final arc with a history of being possessed, a massive and exploitable complex about being victimized, the propensity to blame himself for his part in the downfall of his loved ones, and a problematic vengeance fantasy he’s using to mask his vulnerability.
That’s what we call “tempting fate,” my friends.
V. The history of One For All
That cheeky bastard Horikoshi actually went and left the One For All origin story a mystery until the final arc.
That spells disaster. That means it will be relevant to the ending. And we all know somehow it’s all gonna come back to Katsuki. Because of this asshole.
And that asshole is the only one whose quirk we don’t yet know.
I’ve given my general thoughts on the possible OFA history and the Second’s possible connection to Katsuki, and I would be remiss if I didn’t reiterate that there’s a possibility AFO can control people against their will and force them to fight their friends. If true, that could come back in a big way for the final arc quite easily.
And then @siflshonen dared to point out to me the resemblance between the Second’s facial scar and this page of nightmare fuel in chapter 286:
That was the moment I threw up my hands and started writing this damn meta anthology post.
Oh, and let’s not forget that time I compared Yoichi and the Second to Tomura and Katsuki:
History repeats itself or some shit.
VI. Izuku’s unspoken feelings
There’s one more important piece to this puzzle, and that’s how Izuku plays into everything that will happen.
Given this theory, the above panels are actually painful to read. “The gifted will break this world.” Izuku, please smack this upstart prick.
But the utility of this arc may have been to also serve some purpose in the final battle. There is an interesting focus on Katsuki that we could easily dismiss, even though he’s not involved in the fight.
And there’s also the question of Izuku’s emotional instability...
...which AFO learned he could use Katsuki to exploit during the Jakuu battle.
But...
There’s something else important we learned during that arc as well.
We learned that just as Izuku sees Katsuki as his Image of Victory, Katsuki very well likely sees Izuku as his Image of Self-Sacrifice.
Katsuki can probably be used as a point of weakness against Izuku, but what about the other direction? Perhaps Izuku can use himself as a point of strength for Katsuki’s sake.
Izuku still hasn’t told Katsuki he’s Izuku’s Image of Victory.
It must be said, and we’re going into the final arc now. Where do you think would be a good place in the story for this to come out?
VII. Izuku vs. Tomura but not like that
So here’s the concept:
Much like in my Izuku possession theory, let’s say Katsuki is the one who gets pulled into the Tomura-AFO singularity. He might even do it on purpose as an attempt to sabotage AFO and rescue Tenko, all in a manner similar to how Star(s) & Stripe(s) went out. In the process, he could be swallowed by the vortex of hatred inside Shigaraki and lose his sense of self to it. Izuku definitely goes after him, but how’s he gonna pull Katsuki out? What will the battle really be about here?
It’s going to be about two forces pulling Katsuki in opposite directions (either figuratively or literally).
On the one hand, he’ll have Tomura Shigaraki pulling him in the direction of destructive instincts. Katsuki will be encouraged to let go of his rational brain and just give into the instinct to destroy (or really, explode) that comes with his Explosion quirk. His weakness will be his desire for revenge that merges with the hatred Tomura embodies. He won’t be able to escape so long as he holds onto that dark wish.
On the other hand, he’ll have Izuku pulling him back to the side of heroism and saving, back to rationality, back to his true sense of self. Izuku is the best person to do it because he knows Katsuki best; he emulates Katsuki with everything he does. He’ll tell Katsuki about his Image of Victory and “talk like Katsuki because he wants to win” in order to restore Katsuki’s identity. And Katsuki’s going to finally have to take Izuku’s hand and accept help to get out of there. But, if Tomura wins the tug-o-war, Katsuki will likely pull Izuku into the void with him because Izuku ain’t letting go no matter what. If this doesn’t work, Katsuki will be Izuku’s downfall.
It’s the classic shoulder-angel versus shoulder-devil scenario. Izuku is our narrator, but Tomura jumps in as the narrator for “My Villain Academia,” and isn’t that convenient? Could it be the narrators are both in the process of trying to reach Katsuki to turn him to their side? Until he chooses, Katsuki is a coin flipped in the air. Which version of his “self” will claim “victory” in the end?
Stare harder at that manga cover!!!
VIII. Decoding Horikoshi’s prophecy
So, I promised I would translate the hidden message in Horikoshi’s Jump Festa words. Here we go now.
I’ve said this to Okamoto [Nobuhiko]-kun in LINE, but Katsuki will be having his greatest scene in the manga in future developments. I hope people who like Katsuki and hate Katsuki will look forward to it.
Katsuki’s gonna do a big thing. In light of where you suspect this is going based on this giant brainrot, you might be able to glean how this scenario could be enjoyed by those readers who both like and dislike Katsuki. There’s going to be a full reckoning of his character down to the core of his identity. And he’s gonna probably do some noble shit in the process.
And then, we have Deku and Shigaraki.
These two will definitely face each other in some way, straightforward fight or not.
Even though his consciousness is becoming more and more ambiguous, he’s [Shigaraki’s] a mass of destructive instincts and frustrations.
Shigaraki is becoming more and more defined by his urge to destroy, his instincts, the personality essence that comes with his Decay quirk. Weird that Horikoshi uses some extremely Katsuki-coded language (“destructive,” “instincts,” “frustrations”) to describe this scenario. Very meta of him to talk about Shigaraki’s consciousness becoming so ambiguous. Wonder if someone else’s consciousness is influencing that ambiguity, and I don’t just mean AFO’s.
[Shigaraki]’s the greatest obstacle in Deku’s goal of “saving”.
That’s a weird way of putting it, Horikoshi. If we were looking at a straightforward fight between Shigaraki and Deku, I’d expect you to word this as “Deku’s greatest obstacle is Shigaraki.” But no, you specifically say Shigaraki is an obstacle to Deku’s goal of saving. So Deku needs to save someone? Who could that be?
Saving and Destroying are both born out of ego. Whose ego will win in the end?
Way to imply that these egos are Izuku (Saving) and Shigaraki (Destroying) without actually naming the characters. Makes it easy for us to just assume you mean Izuku and Shigaraki. But what if you don’t, Horikoshi? What if that’s just what you want us to believe? Because I see that “win” word choice, and that’s more Katsuki-coded language, you precious madman. Could it be that these are Katsuki’s dueling egos? “Whose ego will win in the end?” Perhaps I should read this as: will Izuku’s influence or Shigaraki’s influence over Katsuki have the stronger pull? Who will Katsuki be when he comes out of this?
Is it even a matter of winning or losing? How will things go? What shall I do? What am I supposed to do??
More Katsuki-coded language! Winning or losing? “Is it even a matter of winning or losing?” Ohhhh way to hint that this isn’t a straightforward fistfight at all. I see you, Horikoshi. I see you.
Well, everything’s somehow gonna come off alright I guess!
It fuckin’ better.
Do your best, Deku! Destroy it all, Shigaraki! Die, All for One!!
HORIKOSHI, I STILL SEE YOU.
“Do your best, Deku!” Do his best at what? Fighting? Saving? Something else? That’s definitely a reference to the newer meaning behind the Deku nickname.
“Destroy it all, Shigaraki!” Give into those instincts, Handsy! P.S. What all is it he’s supposed to destroy exactly? His enemies? Society? The world? AFO? The AFO quirk? The OFA quirk? Oh hey, “all” is in the names of both AFO and OFA, huh...
“Die, All For One!!” THAT’S KATSUKI’S CATCHPHRASE, YOU MONSTER. I FUCKING SEE YOU AND YOU’RE NOT SMOOTH.
VIII. tl;dr À̴̡͍͑͘A̵̢̼̟͘͝A̴̢̪͎͒͑̚A̴̟͓̺͛̓͘À̵̪͔͍͊͝A̴̠͖̟̒̓̚Ä̸̡̙͔́͐͠A̴͔̫̼̿͠À̵̠̠͙͒͆Ä̸̢͔̪́̔͐A̴̙͎̪͋̐̒A̵̡̞̓̓̀A̸̘͖͊͆͊A̸̢̟̝̓̐͠A̴͍̺̟͑͝͠A̸̦͍̠͑̈́Ä̵͓͚͓́́͛A̵̺͓̿̔͘͜A̴͕͔͖̽̽͘A̴͕͖͉͆͊̓A̸̝̻͉̐͒A̵̺̞̾̐͜͠A̸͓͖̺͛̐͘A̸͎̝̻̒̈́͝A̵͇̪͎̾̿A̴̪͙͖̓͒A̸̫͖͖͐͌̕A̵̙͕̙̓͘͝A̵̻̙̼͊̈́͠A̴̞̘̟͊̾̕A̸̢̪͔̓̀͒A̵͎̞̪͊͛̀
Katsuki’s character arc of learning to save people necessitates that he saves an unsavable victim at the end. Since he’s going to face Tomura without Izuku’s help, Katsuki is probably going to be the one who saves Tenko Shimura.
However, MHA defines heroism as both victory and self-sacrifice. For Katsuki to truly demonstrate his mastery of saving, this rescue will have to involve a drastic sacrifice on his part. He may find some way of swapping himself in for Tomura or just dive in after him in order to save Tenko from AFO’s possession.
Izuku is the main character. He’s gotta come in and save someone. But he’s also gotta come in and win a big fight to demonstrate his mastery of victory. If Tenko can’t fill either role of victim or enemy, then Katsuki’s gonna have to play both parts.
AFO has the potential to force others to move against their wills. He has the potential to force friends to fight each other.
In all likelihood, we’re gonna have Katsuki stuck in the middle of Izuku and Tomura’s fight, but it will be one where the Tomura-AFO singularity tries to force Katsuki to lose himself to destructive instincts while Izuku vies to revive Katsuki’s sense of self and break him out. Or, there’s the possibility that Katsuki intends to self-destruct in order to take the Tomura-AFO singularity down with him while Izuku tries to convince him not to.
Hey, they’re fighting at UA! That’s where Ground Beta is! Deku vs. Kacchan, Part 3 where it ends with holding hands, anyone?
And now, I commence the screaming.
SAVE HIM SAVE HIM SAVE HIM SAVE HIM SAVE HIM SAVE HIM
#katsuki bakugou#izuku midoriya#tomura shigaraki#tenko shimura#all for one#afo#bakudeku#mha spoilers#mha manga spoilers#my hero academia spoilers#my hero academia manga spoilers#meta#theory#prince of parallels kohei horikoshi#long posts?#in this economy?#all my fanfic WIPs are ruined forever#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#PROTECT MY SON#HE NEEDS SOME JUICE#HORIKOSHI YOU MADMAN#HORIKOSHI YOU MONSTER
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Stucky Fic Rec List #2
by @dreadlockholiday
Another Rec List, source: my bookmarks.
Note: the FICS ARE ALL COMPLETE, while the SERIES CONTAINS SOME WIPS.
📖 Next Chapter by NachoDiablo - [Explicit; 15k words]
[Modern AU; Actor!Steve x Writer!Bucky; Tumblr Meet-Cute; Identity Porn; Bottom!Bucky]
Bucky’s life is at a bit of a standstill these days as he commits to embracing his inner hermit, brewing the perfect pour-over, and writing popular fanfic for the Avengers movie franchise. When he strikes up a friendship with Steve, the snarky yet earnest fan of his latest fic, he finds himself opening up for the first time in years. Things get more complicated, however, when Bucky realizes that Steve’s more than just an everyday fan of the Avengers. As he and Steve grow closer, Bucky will have to decide whether or not he’s ready to start moving forward again.
🥀 Just Like Before by romanticallyinept - [Explicit; 3,7k words]
[Canon Divergence; Dom!Steve x Sub!Bucky; Misunderstandings; Explicit Sexual Content; Angst with a Happy Ending]
It wasn’t ever something they talked about. Bucky never said, “I gotta let go sometimes,” and Steve never said he’d always be willing to take the reins. But they knew what worked for them, even without the conversations that Steve has read about, the ones that he knows, now, are so damn important.
He tries not to blame himself too much.
✨ Whenever You're Ready by @maddiewritesstucky - [Explicit; 5k words]
[Modern AU; Exes to Lovers; Getting Back Together; Emotional Sex; Love Confessions; Angst With a Happy Ending]
“Oh...”
It’s so soft, the sound Bucky makes. One tiny word, more breath than anything else, yet it somehow holds all the sentiment of 'of course' and 'how have I lived without this', and Steve is ruined for it.
He’s sixteen again, realising that want begins and ends with Bucky Barnes.
He is seventeen, discovering that the only thing better than getting his hands on Bucky, is getting his mouth on him.
He is eighteen, and nineteen, and twenty; bone-deep certain that for him, there will only ever be Bucky.
“Stevie,” Bucky sighs. He reaches gentle fingertips to brush the hair back off Steve’s forehead; traces the stretch of Steve’s lips around him with all the tender wonder of their youth.
...Steve is thirty-nine, and he will never come back from this.
☀️ For the Summer by steebadore, CoraRochester, art by @fadefilter - [Explicit; 44,2k words]
[Modern AU; Rich!Bucky x Carpenter!Steve; Exes to Lovers; Getting Back Together; Bottom!Bucky; Angst With a Happy Ending]
Fifteen years ago, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes had been two teenagers in love, spending sweltering summers in Eagle Inlet, Steve's sleepy lakeside hometown way up in the Adirondacks. Sure, Bucky's rich family only came up in summertime, but they were off to college soon and they'd be together forever, right?
Not quite.
These days, Bucky's back in town for the summer and it turns out, some hurts—and firsts—are hard to get over.
🏆 Inspecting my bruises (I got them trying to save the world) by Dancey96, art by @deisderium - [Explicit; 34,7k words]
[Modern AU; PR Agent!Bucky x Martial Artist!Steve; Enemies to Lovers; Queer Awakening; Bottom!Bucky; Happy Ending]
In the world of mixed martial arts, the Avengers Combat Tournament is the next level of competition where the athletes are the best of the best and the fighting style is almost superhuman. With hopes to succeed in the sport, Steve Rogers is struggling to garner the attention he needs from the press. Enter Bucky Barnes, a public relations agent with no interest in ACT whatsoever, but with a growing fascination for Steve.
💌 14 Valentines by jehans - [Explicit; 18,9k words]
[Shrunkyclunks; Delivery Guy!Bucky; Amputee Bucky; PTSD; Valentine's Day; Love at First Sight; Sub!Bucky; Bottom!Bucky; Rough Sex]
Someone is trying to woo Steve.
Every day in February leading up to Valentine's Day, Steve is sent an expensive, if a bit impersonal, gift from a secret admirer. And while he's less than impressed by this covert attempt to win his heart, he's very impressed by the sweet, funny, and deeply attractive delivery driver who brings these gifts to his door every day.
Bucky is amazing, and Steve is falling for him hard and fast, but each day that goes by is another day closer to Valentine's Day, and the expected end of his secret admirer's gifts. Steve had better figure out soon if Bucky's clear flirtation with him is serious, or if he's just in it for the chase. Because if he's serious, there are Things Steve would like to do...
🍁 On the nights you feel outnumbered, baby, I'll be out there somewhere by JJK - [Explicit; 12k words]
[Canon Divergence; Nomad!Steve x WW2!Bucky x Planet Hulk!Steve; Threesome M/M/M; Bottom!Bucky; Double Penetration]
“One of me’s not enough for you?” Rogers arched an eyebrow to match.
“Well, when there’s two on offer…” Bucky grinned.
=
or, a Nomad Steve / TFA Bucky / Planet Hulk Steve threesome fic
🐺 The Heart of My Own (burn it down low) by @minka-g - [Mature; 16k words]
[Fantasy AU; Shapeshifters; Russian Mythology and Folklore; Mythical Creatures; Mild Horror; Soulmates; Happy Ending]
As a boy of seven, Bucky sat at his babushka’s feet, listening to her croaky old voice talk of fairy tales and prophesies while her lips curled around a lit Laika, the smoke trickling from her nostrils like a tsmok from one of her stories.
His babushka was horror, and she was memory; a lingering link between a world Bucky’s mother hated and one he saw as fantastical and magical. She was the storyteller, the soothsayer and the bringer of Bucky’s dreams.
She also heralded his nightmares.
----
In a deep, dark forest, a city-weary delivery man finds more than he bargained for.
🌱 Into the Sky by Ellessey - [Teen; 3,9k words]
[Canon Divergence; Recovering!Bucky; Hurt/Comfort; Plants; Romantic Fluff]
"Maybe they were just duds," Steve says, his thumb moving gently over Bucky's hand. "We can get some more."
They were magic beans, that's what the package called them. They were supposed to sprout within a week. They were intended for ages five to ninety-five.
Maybe Bucky's just too goddamn old.
--
Bucky has precious little patience with himself (and even less for his horticultural endeavors), but Steve has more than enough to go around.
+ Bonus Series
🔪 Kinktober 2020 by @wayward-lives - [Explicit; 80,2k words]
Prompts filled: Handjob; Eating Out; Thigh Riding; Choking/Spanking; Daddy Kink; Blinfolded; Blowjob; Voyeurism; Accidental Stimulation; Knife Kink; Restraints; Fingering; Public Sex; Sixty-Nine; Size Difference; Toys; Begging; In the Kitchen; Double Penetration; Edging; Phone Sex; In the Shower/Tub; First Time; BDSM/Rough Sex; Caught Masturbating; Overstimulation; Orgy; Praise Kink; Dirty Talk; Mutual Masturbation; Dressed Up.
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Beautiful Revelations
Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)
Fandom: Fairy Tail
tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54
Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long)
I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted.
When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star.
During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person.
I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me.
Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all.
-Star <3
ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol
---
“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
---
It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.
She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.
Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.
Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.
The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.
These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.
She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.
Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.
Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.
But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.
Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.
Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.
An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.
The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.
She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.
It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.
It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.
She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.
Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.
But he-he made it stop.
When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.
He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.
She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.
Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.
“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.
The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.
A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.
She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.
And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.
“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.
“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.
And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.
She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.
“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”
Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.
Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.
She grabbed her bag and closed her door.
--
Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.
The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.
“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”
“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.
“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”
“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”
His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.
“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”
“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”
“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”
A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”
“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”
“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.
Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”
“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”
“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”
Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.
A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”
Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”
“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.
“Have a nice night.”
“You too.”
She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.
Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.
---
She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.
“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.
To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.
---
“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.
Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.
She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.
“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.
He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.
Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.
---
For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.
During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?
But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.
She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.
---
It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.
A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.
Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.
There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.
Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.
He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different.
“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.
“I love you too.” She responded.
The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself.
---
I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3
#Gruvia#Gruvia fic#gray x Juvia#Juvia x Gray#Juvia ft#gray fullbuster#juvia loxar#fairy tail#fairy tail fic#thewritingstar
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Writing Tag Game
I was tagged by @tightredpants and @elorianna.
How many works do you have on Ao3?
10
What's your total Ao3 word count?
961553
What're your top 5 fics by kudos?
A Trip Into A Dream, Miracle Aligner, Forever Young, Now We Know, The Briefest Kiss
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to. I appreciate every single comment and want my readers to know that their inputs and opinions and kind words and criticism are valued and welcome.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Milex-wise: Maybe Forever Young? There was an old Jude/Tommy Instant Star one a decade or so ago. Forgot the name.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
*scratches head* Miracle Aligner?
Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?
Nope.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Yes, and because of that, I've actually changed my own approach in a lot of ways. There's a historical romance series by Julie Anne Long that tells the adventures of two families in Pennyroyal Green. I love most of the books and throughout the entire series, you discover clues of what happened to the couple that connects two rivaling families. Their book is the final book of the series and every reader, I presume, had high hopes for their book. Me included. For me, that book missed the mark. And I left a bad review on Goodreads to vent my frustration. I was disappointed. In my imagination, their reunion would have played out much differently. I had envisioned the gentle and smart female lead to turn her nose at the male lead, kick his nuts, and tell him point blank that he's a mansplaining idiot for expecting her to pack up her life to serve him and his whims. (I still have strong emotions about that ending.😔) At any rate, after I got those bad comments on my own story I realized that the author doesn't owe me the ending I want. It's her story. Her work. Her characters. Maybe she reads her characters differently than I do. What do I know, right? It's one thing to tell somebody their grammar sucks, or even that there are holes in the plot, or inconsistencies. But to say 'your story sucks because I feel entitled to a different ending' – in a more profane language – I think, misses the mark of what comments should be about. Because, at the end of the day, it's the author's story. Their time. Their work.
Because, as writers, we feel passionately about your works, it's very easy to grab the sword and defend it. Commenting on hate, also, is very alluring. If somebody yells at you in capital letters and calls you names for me makes it's hard not to step into that trap. I read somewhere that replying to hate is an exercise in arrogance. You take your keyboard and you type away, demonstrating one keystroke at a time that your insults are punchier, your knowledge greater, and your opinion worth more. Honestly, what's the point? When I reply to hate I waste my time on somebody who doesn't give a shit about my opinion in the first place. Best solution? Delete the hate and don't waste a thought on it.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do. Although recently, I've written less. (Must change that. 😜)
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Don't think so.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I recall that somebody some time ago wanted to translate my work. Haven't checked up on that in a bit.
What's your all time favorite ship?
At the moment, Milex. (I have gotten into Mo Dao Zu Shi and Voltron, though.)
What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
There's a story I wrote years ago on FF.net about Jude Harrison and Tommy Quincy of Instant Star. I don't even remember the name of that story. The only one I ever left unfinished.
What are your writing strengths?
I've been told it's comedy.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I want to write something dark and twisted and sad and tragic, something that ends with death and despair. I've started out many times. Got an entire Google document dedicated to plot ideas. Always ends up upbeat and cheerful. 😩
Here's a Milex spoiler for a story that might never see the light of day. Miles and Jamie, cops in a film-noir seedy LA haunt the killer of a handful of young women who end up dead on the side of various roads. Jamie, going undercover, gets murdered and the killer carves a message into his chest. Miles, vowing revenge, thinks it's connected to a gruesome group of drug-dealing gangsters. Alex is their drug-lord. Miles learns of Alex's identity and the LAPD tries and fails to get people into his inner circle. Until one night Miles screws the rules after a chance encounter with Alex and takes it upon himself to get his answers. By crawling into Alex's bed. There's a moment of dialogue in which Alex tells Miles that their story won't have a happy ending, to which Miles replies, the best part of every book is never the last line. It's the journey there and life is about the memories you make before you turn the last page. One of 'em dies in the end.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Love doing it and hope that Google translate is as good as I want it to be.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
I wrote a Mulder/Scully fanfic in a journal when I was a young teen before I had a computer. The first fic I posted was Jude/Tommy from Instant Star.
What's your favorite fic you've written?
A really old Jude/Tommy fic that ended up being twisted and weird and dark until I wrote an uplifting ending that kinda ruined it in retrospect, but that's the darkest I ever managed.
Thank you for tagging me. I don't know whom to tag because I think most people have already been tagged. 🙈
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dramione fanfic recs
I’ve fallen into the Dramione fanfiction hole lately due to a friend’s recent obsession with Dramione and Draco Malfoy tik tok, so I wanted share some favorite stories I’ve read, especially with those who are also new to the pairing. Many of the fics below are pretty popular within the fandom, but maybe there will be something new as well for those who come across this post.
I’ve included the rating and word count in parenthesis, and the fics are set in the magical universe unless otherwise noted. Please mind the tags when you click through—many fics may have triggers. Happy reading!
wait and hope by mightbewriting (M, 95k)
“Harry,” Hermione began, voice very controlled, but she could feel the blade of panic slicing at her vocal cords. “Why was Draco Malfoy just screaming bloody murder about his,” and the word almost strangled her as she said it, “wife?” Harry's green eyes blew wide. Healer Lucas pinched the bridge of her nose, clearly displeased with the recent series of events. “He was referring to you, my dear,” she said. “That was the other question you got wrong. Your name is Hermione Jean Granger-Malfoy.”
Part of the Wait and Hope story universe. Draco’s POV, Beginning and End, is a WIP. (I’ve read and reread Wait and Hope multiple times in a few weeks span, so it’s safe to say that it’s my favorite Dramione story universe.)
the politician’s wife by Pir8fancier (M, 66k)
This story is set twenty-three years after the fall of Voldemort. Our main characters are Ministry employees, middle-aged, and the majority of them not very happy. (This was the first Dramione fic I’ve ever read and is still one of my favorites)
the right thing to do by LovesBitca8 (E, 176k)
Hermione felt the pounding in her ears again. She would see him for the first time since the Great Hall, gaunt and stricken at the Slytherin table with his mother clutching his arm. She hadn't meant to look for him. Not in the corridors, not beneath the white sheets of the fallen, not on the way to the Chamber of Secrets with Ron, but she was a stupid girl. Part of the Rights and Wrongs story universe (highly recommend Draco’s POV, All the Wrong Things, as well).
remain nameless by HeyJude19 (E, WIP)
The monotony of Draco’s daily routine had become both a lifeline and a noose. But this new habit of grabbing coffee with Hermione Granger is quickly becoming a reason to get out of bed and is unfortunately forcing him to re-evaluate his inconsequential existence.
seeker fit by selinyu and etlithien (T, 2.6k)
“Will the Head Girl grace the pitch with her presence for today’s match?” The timbre of Malfoy’s cool lilting drawl slid down Hermione’s spine. I recommend all the fics in the SenLithien Dramione Collaboration collection.
breath mints / battle scars by Onyx_and_Elm (E, 148k)
For a moment, she's almost giddy. Because Draco Malfoy's been ruined by this war and he's as out of place as she is and — yes, he has scars too. He's got an even bigger one. She wonders whether one day they'll compare sizes.
apple pies and other amends by ToEatAPeach (M, 76k)
It’s not until she’s brought a basil and strawberry sponge cake to Neville Longbottom and his new girlfriend, Hannah Abbott, a dozen rhubarb hand-pies to Luna and Xenophilius Lovegood, and another basket of ganache-covered muffins to Dean and Seamus, that Hermione admits to herself what she’s actually doing: she’s making a thing of this. It’s a veritable PTSD tour. With pastries. And hand-skimmed clotted cream. And she has no idea why she’s doing it, but it’s becoming very apparent that she is.
clean and marked by olivieblake (M, 118k and 178k)
Malfoy's handsome face was contoured into a condescending smirk. "No faith in that giant brain of yours, Granger?" She looked up at him defiantly. "Maybe I don't have faith in you!" she said, raising her voice. Malfoy only looked at her. "You'll find I'm very surprising." Basically a sixth year retelling.
the best of me by MrsRen (E, 148k)
Officially, Hermione Granger was killed in action during the Battle of Hogwarts. Unofficially, Draco Malfoy has never stopped searching for her. Years after the war during a mission in France, his salvation comes in the form of a little blond boy and a familiar half-Kneazle.
fortuitous by MrsRen (M, 93k)
Recently divorced Draco doesn't believe in the ideology of having one true love. He certainly doesn't expect to meet his match in a Halloween themed coffee shop, but fate has a peculiar way of giving you just what you need.
bring him to his knees by Musyc (E, WIP)
Draco is on the case of a murderer, but to investigate, he needs a fake relationship - and a kink club play partner. When Hermione volunteers to take the role, both do their best to maintain the lie without letting each other know the truth: neither of them are acting.
looking glass by kyonomiko (M, 99k)
No one knows what happened to Draco Malfoy in the final battle, but, when his portrait shows up at Harry Potter's house, it's readily assumed he didn't make it. Hermione's perspective on the wizard starts to change as she learns more about who he really was. The more she knows, the more tragic his apparent demise seems to be.
isolation by bex-chan (E, 264k)
He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!"
thirty-five by raven_maiden (M, 2.3k)
It's Draco Malfoy's birthday, and you'd think he'd have some say in the matters concerning his birthday. Then again, the will of four other Malfoys is hard to overcome. Part of Meet the Malfoys collection.
apples & cream by LovesBitca8 (E, 1.4k)
She could have taken her things and gone through his Floo without a word. She could have ignored him on Monday morning, as though last night had been no more than a fever dream and too much Firewhisky. But she’d come back to bed.
universal truths by scullymurphy (E, 145k, pride & prejudice inspired AU)
Hermione Granger is a woman of intelligence and spirit. Draco Malfoy is a man of wealth and privilege. When they meet again, a decade after the second great wizarding war—they are not impressed. But when circumstances throw them together, dislike turns to attraction, attraction turns to passion and passion may turn into something more... If they can stay out of their own way and let love take its course.
my brown-eyed girl by PacificRimbaud (M, 2k)
"Give it up, Granger. We've had our N.E.W.T. results for a week. What can possibly have earned your continued academic devotion in the last four days of term?" Draco and Hermione have a lazy snuggle in the grass behind the Quidditch pitch.
bite marks by provactive_envy (E, 19.4k, muggle AU)
Draco’s mouth falls open. He clutches his cookie and ignores the shower of crumbs littering his grey cashmere fingerless gloves. He can’t decide if he wants to fuck this girl or fight with her. Maybe both? Maybe at the same time?
thirteenth night by Nelpher (M, 78k)
When Hermione is assigned to keep tabs on a memory-charmed Draco, she is faced with a decision that could change her life forever.
familiar faces, worn out places by LovesBitca8 (E, 7k)
“You are at St. Mungo’s. You were in a coma.” He looks me over again, taking a pause. “I am a Healer here now,” he says, like it explains something. My fingers stretch, drifting across his sleeve. He looks down, like I’ve thrown mud at him. Forcing my vocal chords together for the first time, I whisper, “What’s your name?”
bone mortar by mightbewriting (M, 10k, muggle AU)
Draco clenched his teeth, forcing sharp, shallow breaths through his nose as he ripped open the door to his usual lecture hall only to find— someone at his desk. Well, he supposed it was technically less his desk and more the desk as he didn’t actually own this particular classroom. But since he’d taught in it for the last four semesters in a row he at least felt like he’d earned common law ownership of some sort.
of mongolian fireflies and russian sharpclaws by barnettdidit (T, 37k)
As colleagues for the F.A.U.C.E.T. (Fetching And Uncovering Creatures Experiencing Terror) department, Draco and Hermione have had their fair share of arguments. When they face their hardest case yet, mixed with an odd swarm of fireflies that glow in the colour according to how they feel about each other, Hermione is struggling to keep a straight mind.
a muggle-born magic by Musyc (M, 50k, regency era AU)
Physician's daughter Hermione Granger finds herself in need of a way to pay off her father's debts after his death. Draco Malfoy, retired from the politics of the Isolationists, a group of pure-bloods bent on separating 'true' magic from lesser folk, finds himself in need of a tutor for his son, Scorpius, who appears to be incapable of magic and must learn to survive in a world without it. Draco also needs a wife and mother for Scorpius, to satisfy a promise to his unwell father. After she saves his son from an attack by Isolationists, Draco hires the Muggle-born Miss Granger for the former, and after a riot in Vauxhall Gardens and a scandalous discovery made by his mother, weds that selfsame Muggle-born for the latter. While making the best of her marriage of (in)convenience, Hermione discovers that Scorpius' history of wild imaginings and dreams is more than just imagination. As she attempts to teach him about magical abilities no one expected he would ever have, she and Draco work together to raise Scorpius and learn to trust each other.
aurelian by BittyBlueEyes (T, 255k)
Two years after the war, a young stranger pays a visit to the burrow. His arrival alone is baffling, but the news he brings of an upcoming war turns the world upside down. Hermione's quiet, post-war life will never be the same.
malfoy shrugged by uselessenglishmajor (E, 11k)
February 14th is just another day at the office for Hermione Granger. Shame no one else got the memo.
distance by In_Dreams (T, 138k)
She’s a novice Unspeakable trying to earn her stripes. He’s a shafted Auror desperate to prove himself. When they end up forced together on a shared assignment, neither is willing to back down. But when the mission pulls them into an ancient world of mystery and adventure, they find themselves depending on each other in a race against time.
nonscents by In_Dreams (M, 10k)
Granger's Amortentia smells like him and Draco can't understand why. More importantly, he can't let her figure it out.
correspondence by olivieblake (T, 5k)
Every year, Draco insists that Hermione take a picture for their Christmas card. Why? Hell if she knows, but if it will make him happy, so be it.
sandalwood and gardenias by secondbutton (E, 9k)
A balanced fragrance of sandalwood and something musky and earthy followed him like a shroud. Draco Malfoy smelled like a magical forest’s best kept secret. Like the moment following a storm when the sun peeks back over the clouds and living beings stop what they’re doing and pause to marvel at being able to roam outside again. It was a crisp top note with more robust undertones, and just a hint of sweetness. She thought she might love the scent if it lived on anyone else other than him.
#dramione#draco malfoy#hermione granger#fanfiction recs#fanfic recs#little to no ron weasley bashing#dramione fanfics#dramione fanfic recs#fic recs#dramione fic recs
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