ADHD brain hack: don’t clean the entire room.

Just pick up five things.

Five is a nice, round, attainable number. Your room won’t be fully clean, but you’ll have Improved the Space, even if only slightly, and it helps combat the “oh no I haven’t done anything today this space is getting gradually messier” feeling.

It also helps me when I’m having a REALLY hard time getting out of the “oh gosh where do I start there’s just so much” overwhelm because I don’t have to deal with ALL of it. Just the five easiest out-of-place objects. A pair of socks can count as two things if you’re having a bad day.

For example; I’m finally getting up to pee after willing myself to do so for like an hour. Already on my feet, so might as well put Shoes in the shoe spot, laundry in the basket, mug in the sink - that’s three things already! Toss a couple pieces of trash, and you’ve done it!! Every tiny bit helps!

For extra Modivational Juice, try to do this in a short time period, like while your water boils or you’re heating something in the microwave. The false sense of urgency gives me the Speed to get the five things done Fast!

😅 where’s my fellow burnt out executive dysfunction fam?

yknow, i dont see this talked about a lot within the tism community

if someone youre with stims, whether youre neurotypical or not, at least for me, dont point it out.

i grew up in a world where those sudden bursts of movements, those little actions, the stimming, the anything, gets you strange looks. thinking outside of the box gets you punished. i have learned to be ashamed, and have learned its against public norms (which if you violate those, from what ive been taught, youre a freak)!

im trying to break free from the mindset of “stimming is abnormal and you shouldnt do it in public” (only applied towards myself), and frankly its hard!

so even when a fellow autistic person or maybe a neurotypical points out “hey wow, youre stimming!” “hey you seem awfully happy!” “youre talking a lot today!” “you seem really fidgety!” i immediately get this horrible and burning sense of shame, even if it was meant positively!

i feel like its important to talk about not only normalizing things like these, but talking about the effects this culture has had on neurodivergent people! i feel like we need to hear from people who are still actively struggling to re-learn that its okay to be their own normal, even if it isnt societies normal.

not to trauma dump, but everything i mostly described up there was things that happened to me in the 7th grade! im a freshman in college currently, and frankly ive made very little progress in healing, which is okay! but people should learn and understand that simple things like those effect people for a LIFETIME.

you don’t automatically gotta learn to accept yourself, and that its okay to be ‘weird’ in public! it takes time and a lot of hard work, especially if its been chiseled into the deepest parts of your brain. dont bash yourself for being too shy to stim or too embarrassed in public by it, take it bit by bit!

this isnt really a complaint post because i love seeing all the positivity in these communities as of lately! but do try and be considerate of people who are still fighting their way out of that mindset! maybe take a little second to ask yourself if pointing out someones ND behavior is needed! theres still a lot of shame in a lot of people, including me, and thats an okay thing to have.

be aware of others shame and help them realize its normal to do all those things by not pointing it out! the less you point it out, at least for me, the more normal it makes it

Come with me on my learning journey!

Hello! I've been trying to learn to code for a long time now, but like many things in my life, it's been very difficult to Actually Do The Thing due to my mental health and life circumstances. I was actually prescribed a medication that helped immensely with my ADHD, but I temporarily cannot get it and that has tanked my ability to focus my brain.

Enter: this blog! I'm going to try to code at least a little bit every day! I will not be perfect and I will not beat myself up about that, but I will also encourage myself to be better. I am going to try to post every time I code and sometimes show what I am working on. I think I want to theme my projects to make them more fun. I will mainly be using freeCodeCamp to learn.

If you are in a similar situation, want inspiration, or are just interested in watching my journey, please give me a follow! I would also be extremely happy to get any feedback, advice, or tips. Thanks so much for reading :)

-Mars 🪐

If you're always forgetting to replace your toilet paper, PLEASE do yourself a favour and buy one of these:

It's a constant visual reminder of when you need to replace the toilet paper in your bathroom. You can take your phone in there with you and text yourself/set a reminder to buy some when you're getting low

Or, if you're like me and store your toilet paper rolls in a closet because there's no room for the giant package in your bathroom, it's a good reminder when you see it getting low that you'll need to restock it soon, but you don't have to restock it constantly (which is something that bothered me with only one roll, that I would have to constantly replace it and it irked me a lot)

This one's for you, "Waiting Mode" ADHD gang! I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but when I'm depressed, under very levels of stress or grief I struggle with "Waiting Mode" and hyperfixation in a very similar way and I will be trying all this out as friends with ADHD have found it very helpful

This will come out a little rambly, so I'm sorry ahead of time, but I had some thoughts and I just want to get it out.

I was 13 when I first started adhd drugs. At that time I was a depressed kid, who didn't know where she belonged or why she was so awkward and weird. She didn't know about bisexuality, and it'd be almost 10 years until she met other people that didn't feel like a guy or a girl, and that she was they, not she. She also didn't know that OTHER people had trouble keeping schedules, doing their homework, staying still in classes, doing chores at home, breaking focus when something really had her attention. She'd been told by teachers and parents most of her life that it was a moral failing, that "I forgot isn't an excuse, because if you really cared about it you'd remember." (if you ever want to see an adult Max cry, here's how).

That depressed kid tried Riddalin.

And Hated it. With every fiber of their being.

It made me feel slowed down. It made me feel like a muted version of myself. It made me feel like I could be shuffled to the back of the classroom, and I'd be a good little kid that can put up and shut up now. It made me feel less in general. I was lucky enough to have a mom that let me drop it, despite her saying in retrospect that I was doing well in school and at home.

Fast forward about 10 years. I'm in my early twenties. I've realized a lot of things about myself, and have a better picture of who i want to be. I've started seeing a psychologist, who pegs me for ADHD the second I've walked in (20 minutes late, crying because I'm so ashamed, fidgeting up a storm). Over the next couple months we go through rigmarole getting a proper diagnosis, preparing a case file, etc, so that I might try medication again. I'm leery, because of last time, but I do.

And pretty much the first time I take it, it feels like putting on clean glasses after having blurry vision for my whole life.

It's the same medication, more or less. It's on a person 10 years older, who now actually WANTS to exist (Most of the time), and whose symptoms and presentation has changed so they WANT the chatter and unending racing thoughts to calm the hell down, and whose gone through hormonal and mental changes that 13 year old Max hadn't yet. But this time, something feels different.

There's more to this story, about how fucking awful I felt and how I had the question of "How the hell did I LIVE like this before?!" when I could no longer get medication due to supply order issues, but this feels too long as it is. Long story short, doc changed medications around so we have a temporary solution while the supply chain evens out, and now that I have medication again, it's the same goddamn feeling. I feel like I'm driving in the drivers seat, not trying to drive from the back seat. I can do stuff I want to do again. I don't feel like I'm going to crash my car.

What Ive taken forever to actually say is not everything will work for you at every point in your life. Bodies change. Brains change. Hormones change. Sometimes what didn't work for you in the past might work for you now that youre in a different place and time and body. Sometimes, it's not a bad thing to try something again.

(Barring the stuff that yknow, actually almost killed you. don't be willing to try that again maybe)

long post ahead

ok so like my adhd comes with a specific symptom of being just extremely sensitive and not having the best handle on my emotions. which honestly, ive come to love about myself, not because im a sensitive little baby but because i wear my heart on my sleeve, im honest with people about my emotions and channelling this part of me helps immensely with setting my boundaries. it makes me a better friend, makes it easier for me to understand people, makes it easier for people to understand me because im not the type of person to talk shit behind someones back. if we have a problem, you will know and we will be able to talk it out.

the thing though is that it also makes me really easily stressed out. and this is a problem at work, where im currently being held back from a promotion because i let myself get overwhelmed and stressed, i get emotional when things go wrong. im not analytical or resilient enough to be a manager, because apparently this emotional nature makes me unreliable.

what i want to know is, after years of toning myself down, getting a handle on myself, trying so hard to fix this and then finally making peace with it, how to make peace with it AGAIN knowing what its taking away from me. its part of who i am and im VERY defensive of it, but at the same time i resent it because i know i could be moving up right now if i was different. how do you cope with that?

I Have Eidetic & Photographic Memory: Super Charged Subliminal

GUYS I CAN'T UNderSELL HOW MUCH EARPLUGS HAVE HELPED ME

having AUDHD I have lots of emotional freak-outs and need support (but I hide it all so no one around me is any the wiser) and getting earplugs has been GAME changing. I don't feel like I need to dissacociate to interact with people. i feel so much mroe myself and present.

they are super cheap and u can buy a bucket of 100 for like 20$

I can hide them under my hair and still hear conversation like usual too!

I wore them to job interview yesterday and I felt emotionally baseline the whole time bitch.

My life would have ben so different if I started taking my accomidations seriously sooner. There's no shame! just more freedom!

Tip for ADHD kids with way too many projects:

Think of your projects not as a bunch of unfinished things, but like a restaurant menu! Maybe tonight I'm not feeling "flutter lisp bindings" but I *am* feeling "esp32 wozmon".

Stuff gets finished stochastically, but that's okay! 🥰

I have made so many amazing connections and friendships through ADHD, and I really don't think that the support and community found within the neurodivergent population gets nearly enough kudos for how great it is and how great we are.

↑ new blog post 💖

Day 8 (10-16-23)

I really enjoyed coding today! I did a lot of little bits of coding for different things. My primary focus was the Tribute Page. I had forgotten that one of the requirements for the page is a link. Since the page is paying tribute to fictional character that I made, I decided to make a second page to link to. I spent some time yesterday coming up with ideas for a story that I will theme all of my freeCodeCamp certification projects around as I learn. I will also include additional personal projects to fill out my story as needed (like the secondary page I mentioned).

The purpose of this approach is to get me invested in learning to code. It's extremely difficult for me to be consistent, especially with self-managed learning. Learning is fun but it can be frustrating. Storytelling is also fun. So are secrets. I'm hoping that by slowly developing and revealing a secret story bit by bit in my projects, I can get myself invested in them enough to offset that frustration and keep myself coming back. As a bonus, having a central theme eliminates the problem of figuring out a theme or premise for each project individually, which is something I have struggled with in the past.

As an aside, I have thankfully improved my sleep schedule! I will keep working on that too.

Short video with ideas on how to organize your house if you are ADHD:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMFPtG7o/

Sweats nervously…

Positively DBT - BPD, Autism, ADHD Peer Support