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waterfallofspace · 1 year

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Another one for @onetrickponi's lovely ask

The second idea I had for this request! from ~this list~ In celebration of you starting B/uddy D/addies, here is a little R/ei content! (Featuring K/azuki, he's the other buddy after all!) Bit of a shorter one, so hopefully you can forgive two fics for the one request (and two tags haha sorry <3) There isn't anything spoiler-wise in this, just basic knowledge of the characters, though maybe a touch of implication you'll understand after watching more of it! 1.6k words, prompt #17, story under cut! 17. "What did you do to your nose to piss it off like this?" (References to swearing, and mild violence, in case anyone doesn't like those!)

~~~~~~~

“hahh’gnnt-! eh’knngt-!uhhh”

“Bless you.”

“hihh- dntsh’uh-! ah’gnxt-!”

“And again.”

“knndt-ingxt-hh’enDGT’uhh-!”

“Christ, Rei.”

Kazuki lifts his eyes from the meal he’s preparing to stare at the figure on the couch. Each burst has Rei ducking into his chest, controller never leaving his hands. Despite the onslaught, he’s maintaining a solid lead in the race he’s playing. ‘It would be impressive if it wasn’t so concerning.’

“htxxgt-! ingdt’uh-!”

“Are you gonna live?”

“I’m f- huhh’knGDT’guhh-! fine.”

Rolling his eyes pointedly, Kazuki lets a huff fall from his throat. Rei responds by attempting to rub his nose on his shoulder without looking away from the screen. ‘Honestly a little pathetic… Man, I wish I had my phone on me. This would look great as my new wallpaper.’

“Maybe I’d believe you if-”

“hh’dznxt’huhh-!”

“-You could get through the word fine-”

“aH’INdxxt’uhh-!”

“-without sneezing. Or let me get through it for that matter.”

“That’s not a g- ih’gnxxt’huhh-! good system.”

“Jeez, you sound awful.”

“Thanks.”

The silence resumes its place over the room, Kazuki trying to focus on his steak as the strangled noises from Rei carry on. ‘At this rate he’s gonna pass out. I’ve never heard him go at it this much… sure, he has a few allergies, maybe the odd sneeze here or there, but nothing like this…’

Kazuki yelps as the smell of smoke pulls him from his thoughts. He turns the stove off with a hiss, pouring the steak onto a plate. Over on the couch, Rei turns his gaze towards the noise.

“You knxgt’uhh-! burnt it.”

“Yeah I know! I was a little distracted by your-”

“eh’dngt-! knnxxt’huh-!”

“Exactly. This is your fault, you hear me! You’re eating the burnt one!”

“No I’m not. heh’dnNT’uhh-!”

“You- Fine! But I’m not eating it either!”

“Okay.”

“I really hate you sometimes, have I mentioned that?”

“eh’gznGT-! Yes.”

Rei faces back towards the game, muttering to himself as the character on screen takes a sharp turn. Kazuki feels his eyebrow twitch, his mouth hanging open at the outright disregard for his food.

‘I work all day to make a nice meal, but does he appreciate it? No! No he does not! I’ll give him the burnt one- not like he was gonna compliment my food anyways… but maybe he’ll just not eat it… then it goes to waste… what a-’

“------- Kazuki?”

“Huh?”

Pulling his attention back into the room, Kazuki attempts to decode the nonsense Rei just threw his direction in his mind. ‘Something something my name… Uh… Something about food maybe… Damn I wasn’t listening.’ His hands idly continue plating the food as he tries to recall the words.

“hh’knGT’uh-!”

“Bless you.”

“You didn’t hear me.”

It’s not a question, more of a statement. Feeling a heat rise into his face, Kazuki considers lying to save his pride. ‘As if there’s any left to save anyways…’ Curiosity wins in the end, and he brings a hand to the back of his neck, offering a sheepish smile.

“No, I didn’t. Can you repeat it?”

“I asked if- hh’enDT-! eh’dxNGT’shoo-! heh’knTISH’iew-!”

Rei brings a hand to his face as the third one breaks through, both wincing at the loss of control. He pinches his nose, Kazuki flinching again at the harsh nature of the action. With a small shudder, Rei attempts to speak again, keeping his fingers gripping his nose. ‘That’s gotta be painful-’

“I asked if the food was ready.”

“Uh… Y- yeah…”

“Okay.”

Kazuki finds himself setting the table, mind still focused on the way Rei’s nose is shivering behind his hand. ‘He should just let it out… but it’s not really my place to tell him that. I know it’s a ‘thing’ with him.’ Still, as Rei sits down and Kazuki notices the water lingering in his eyes, it’s too much for him to ignore.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doihhng what? nnGt-! knxt-!”

“Doing that. Stopping them like that.”

“Oh. Habit, I suppose.”

“It can’t be good for you. It’s giving me a headache, and I’m not even the one sneezing!”

“I’m not- ihh’gnt-! hH’gNxxt-! in pain.”

“Oh really? Because the way you just winced says you’re lying.”

There’s no answer, but Rei does drop his hand, starting to cut his steak into smaller pieces. ‘Not admittance, but maybe as close as I’m gonna get with him. I’ll accept it.’ Starting to eat his own, Kazuki groans as the burnt taste invades his mouth. Across from him Rei ducks into his shoulder with a smile that gets Kazuki’s blood boiling.

“And what’s so funny?! This is your fault after all. You should be thanking me for giving you the good one! Even though I know you’re not gonna appreciate all the effort that it took.”

“ih’tischhiew-! heh’kieshh’tiew-!”

“Bless you.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t think this means we’re through! Just because I still have manners, unlike some people, doesn’t mean I’m forgiving you for ruining my beautiful creation.”

“Okay. hh’keshh’tiew-!”

“I gotta ask… what’s up with that?”

Rei gives him a measured look, raising his napkin to scrub at his nose. ‘Mental note: wash that one separately.’ Opening his mouth, likely with the intention to reply, Rei suddenly freezes, bringing his wrist up and flinching delicately in it with another round.

“eh’tishhiew-! heh’kieshh’tiew-! ashhh’iew-!”

“Seriously Rei, what did you do to your nose to piss it off like this?”

“I don’t- ah’tishhiew-! heHh-! ih’keschh’tiew-! know.”

“What?! How do you not know?”

“I haven’t done- huh’teAZSHH’kiew-! Oh-”

“Bless you.”

“-Haven’t done anything different today.”

As Rei pauses to scrub at his face, with his hands this time, Kazuki feels his mind start to race through the day. ‘I woke up early, Rei was still asleep in the tub. I made breakfast, everything was fine. He woke up, he was fine, we ate. He played games, I did laundry, then he chang-’ A realization dawns in Kazuki’s eyes as they widen and begin to scan Rei. In return he pauses the attack on his sinuses to meet the stare being thrown his way.

“What..?”

“I uh… I think this might be my fault…”

“How? hh’keZZShh’tiew-! knnt’shiew-! ihh’nnGT’iew-!”

“Bless you. W- well, I bought this new detergent, it was on sale ‘buy one get two free’, I couldn’t pass up that offer!”

“Okay?”

“And so I used it for the first time today… including when I washed your clothes, like the hoodie you put on about halfway through the day.”

“Oh. hH’DNtzshh’kiew-!”

“Bless you- I’m sorry, if I knew you were so allergic I never would have-”

“I’m not.”

Kazuki feels his eye start to twitch again. He tries to form words, but only succeeds in gaping in Rei’s direction, mouth opening and shutting silently. ‘He’s… is he actually… It wouldn’t be wrong to punch him, would it? Maybe just knock him on the back of the head? He’s a tough assassin, he could take it, right?’ Instead of following through, Kazuki finds himself simply staring at Rei until the other man starts to shift nervously under his gaze.

“You’re making me uncomfortable. eh’kZSHhh’tiew-!”

“What. The hell. Do you mean. ‘You’re not’.”

“I’m not allergic.”

“You’re messing with me, right? Hilarious, Rei.”

“It’s not a joke. I d- heh’knNGt-! don’t have allergies.”

Standing slowly, Kazuki makes his way around the table, a smile void of any emotion starting to form across his face. Rei watches vaguely as he resumes picking at his food, until a slap to the back of his head brings his focus squarely onto Kazuki.

“Ow. What wa-”

“What the shit do you mean you ‘don’t have allergies’? Have you heard yourself? You think this is just how normal people sneeze? It’s not!”

“I’ve never been allergic hH’KEShhh’tiew-! to anything before.”

“Are- Do you not remember the time we had that job where you had to wait in the garden? By the time we’d got the information we needed you could barely open your eyes they were so swollen.”

A faint blush starts to show across Rei’s face as he attempts to hide behind his hair, bringing his hands up again to scrub at his rapidly pinkening nose. Deciding not to wait for the inevitable denial, Kazuki stands and heads to the kitchen. Rummaging through a drawer he grabs the allergy meds, making another mental note to return the detergent and rewash Rei’s clothes.

Returning to the table he hands Rei the pills, chuckling at the confused look he’s met with. ‘For a trained assassin who’s practically a master at his craft, man he can be dumb when it comes to… well… anything else.’ He grabs a glass of water, popping out a couple from the blister pack and grabbing Rei’s hand, placing them in it.

“You swallow those.”

“Why?”

“They will help with the allergies that you refuse to acknowledge.”

“I don-”

“Predictable as ever, Rei. I don’t care if you admit it or not, I’m not eager for you to disrupt the rest of the day with that constant-”

“heH’TISHhh’kiew-!”

“Exactly. You also need to change out of that hoodie. You’re literally just soaking in your ‘non allergen’. Though, the sneezes have slowed down a bit. Maybe that’s from not suppressing them into oblivion constantly!”

“Maybe.”

“You sure are a man of few words, aren’t you?”

Rei simply grunts in response, swallowing the pills with a grimace ‘Such a child-’ before pulling off the hoodie and tossing it on the floor ‘Are you serious?!’ and curling back up on the couch. Kazuki lets out a deep sigh, grabbing the hoodie and throwing it into the laundry room before starting to clean up the plates.

“hH’kesschh’tiew-!”

“Bless you, Rei.”

“Th- thanks…”

The response shakes Kazuki to his core, a dramatic tear starting to form in his eye. ‘He thanked me… I’m so proud! Still can’t clean up after himself… but I’ll fix that too.’ Casting his gaze back over to Rei, Kazuki allows himself to pause and for a moment, just a moment, feel content.

I’ll fix him. And maybe doing that… maybe that’ll fix me too.

#waterfallasks #waterfallwrites #two outta two- time to actually do tasks i need to work on hahaha~#thank you again for the request!! hope you dont mind double fics #this just summoned two different ideas in my head so i decided to act on them!!#its been awhile since ive written them so hopefully its still acceptable #you might just get me to rewatch this show hahaha~#b/uddy d/addies #r/ei and k/azuki

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glrlrot · 1 year

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† ╼ you know what it means ( to unhome a body ) to collapse a pillar / that may have , one day , become a tower . exploring themes of : the black widow , weaponized femininity , corruption by wealth , the brutality of womanhood , elitism & privilege . written by stevie .

pinterest + playlist

tw: drugs, alcohol, (rumoured) murder, suicide, (implied) mentions of mental disorders

FULL NAME. adelaide montserrat

HOMETOWN. NY, New York

ALIAS. ade, addie (preferred)

AGE. 34

GENDER. cisfemale

ETHNICITY. white

OCCUPATION. socialite, philanthropist, retired prima ballerina turned model, occasional designer and actress

ORIENTATION. bisexual

MARITAL STATUS. widowed

HEIGHT. 5'11

EYES. blue

HAIR. blonde

ALIGNMENT. chaotic neutral

DRUGS OF USE. cocaine, LSD, methamphetamine

POSITIVE. determined, quick-witted, charming

NEGATIVE. elusive, manipulative, cunning

there’s two types of rich in this world: new money and old money, and the montserrat are most certainly old money . they began accumulating their wealth sometime ago in barcelona, spain, rubbing shoulders with world leaders and conquerors, providing weapons and soldiers and battle strategies, and when times changed, they changed, and kings and queens turned into businessmen and politicians: if there was a threat to be made, a string to be pulled, a player to be removed, you’d go to them.

despite their achievements, the women in the family were seldom remembered as anything more than unremarkable faces in old family portraits, pushed out of books and history and forgotten in time. adelaide never wanted to be one of those faces. she was brought up to be a proper lady. she was doted upon, and cherished, and as loved as one can be within such a household where you are part of the decoration. the only thing they expected from her was quiet compliance in the role she had been born to play: the heiress, the pretty thing.

adelaide was the product of a union that had been under negotiation for quite some time, a planned pregnancy, just like every other step of her life had been planned. her father was not a cruel man, merely a man of calculations and logic, and her mother lacked the maternal instincts that was expected of her. adelaide learned quickly that slobbering kisses and hugs were ill received, that she ought to keep her hands always clean and shoes pristine. she did not run around the house making messes, or leave dirty footprints on the marble floor or scribble her name on the wallpaper, she did not yell or throw tantrums in public. she had only one role to play in this world, and she knew like all things in life she was ultimately replaceable, if she did not perform it perfectly. if you were to ask her, adelaide couldn’t remember playing with other children in a sandbox, or fighting over whose doll was the prettiest: she kept her distance, always graceful, poised, never a hair out of place. sometimes, it felt lonely, but she could never bring herself to be more than a voyeur.

an early bloomer of exceptional talent, adelaide began dancing by the age of 6. while she had no problem memorizing choreographies or dazzling teachers, she struggled to intimate relationships, bonding with her peers, working with others. addie grew up receiving the best education money could buy and learning everything her parents could fit into her schedule: from horseback riding, to swimming lessons, to classical instruments such as the cello and piano, but there was little time for social interactions that were not orchestrated, so she simply decided they weren’t important.

by the age of 10, adelaide had fully developed into a shiny trophy to flaunt at parties rather than a daughter or grandchild to dote upon; whatever fragment of an identity had once existed, was no more. on the eve of her 13′th birthday, she enrolled in the prestigious paris opera ballet school to make a name for herself — and she did, of course she did. adelaide never failed. she was better than them — better than most. she was hungrier than the others: always willing to push a little harder, dig a little deeper, go a little further. she was flawless, perfect, completely moldable. to a lot of people, being young and in the spotlight was a scary thing, it meant competing for attention, but not to her. adelaide did not compete. she never even considered it a competition. she just won, plain and simple. adelaide couldn’t lose because the game was rigged from the start: it was tailored for people like her, and she knew, and she didn’t care. all she cared about was getting what she wanted: crowded rooms filled with applause, and leading role after leading role. if someone’s tutu’s happened to go missing just before curtain, or their alarm didn’t go off at the right time for whatever reason, or if she had to dance on with a broken metatarsal, so be it.

with age, adelaide learned how to put on a show, how to make a home of the stage. that's the magic of art, it transforms. she became the prima ballerina, and filled herself with stories other than her own while whatever had been good or soft rotted inside of her. eventually, her body couldn’t handle the routines as well as it used to, she could tell she was falling behind, and she was going to be replaced, and she couldn’t cope with that---so she bowed out gracefully and retired from ballet. the truth is she had already grown bored of her career long before, had grown bored of her friends and even herself. she needed to be reborn.

the articles will say she became a model after being scouted in los angeles, but if she were to be honest, her family had to pull some strings. she was pretty, tall, slender, and was used to being in the public eye. the transition wasn’t too difficult, all she had to do was gradually adjust to a new kind of public, learn how to market herself again. in a few years, she had returned in full force to the public’s eye through her modeling career, appearing in editorials for several international editions of Vogue, Harpers Bazaar, i-D, GQ, Dazed & Confused, Elle, Industrie, Interview, American and Spanish V, Glamour and W. through collaborations with other artists, she paved the road to dabble into designing and acting as well, going on to take small roles in both television and film.

here’s what stardom life taught her: people don’t want to know what’s behind the curtain. They might fool themselves into thinking they do, but they don't—not really. It only takes a small peek, and suddenly they start to realize how ugly and empty it is when the lights are off. all the jewelry in the world, all praise and money couldn’t fill up that hole inside her soul, that detachment she felt towards the outside world. nothing could fix inability to connect with things and people, even those supposedly closest to her. she was still lonely, no matter how many flowers she received. marriage felt like the natural next step. it’s what lonely people do, isn’t it? they get married?

finding someone that was husband material was assiduous work: many fit the mold but they all came with their set of imperfections. she went through a series of dates with men who ranged from terribly dull and tedious to thrill-seeking maniacs. professional athletes, actors, studio executives, models and sons of people in high places, until she came across joshua demarchelier: rockstar, icon and one of the media’s favorite celebrities to harass since britney spears had her public meltdown (think the rolling stones/nirvana). he was taller than he looked on MTV News , and the last place she’d expected to find him was here, in this private party her friends dragged her to; if she’d been honest she’d never stopped to listen to any of his songs, but she knew them well enough to make conversation when he approached her. the exchange was easy–he wasn’t too forward but wasn’t afraid to show he was interested either. they found a space far in the corner and just talked for hours, and hours, and hours. and to her surprise, she’d not been bored once the entire night. by the time the party was over, he’d asked her out on a date and she said yes. Soon they were inseparable. they got married within a year of knowing each other, and she thought she’d never be lonely again.

things were good at first, their honeymoon phase was lovely: they’d travel all around the world and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. they looked great in photos, and the public seemed to love them even more together than apart. but beneath the camera flashes and perfect ivory smiles, a couple months into the marriage things had already started to crumble–their personalities clashed, hard. their careers kept them more apart than together, and all the parties and drugs only made things worse. that’s when the threat of scandals began. addie knew how to keep her skeletons in the closet, but joshua didn’t seem to mind having his face stamped all over tmz. and suddenly, his thrill-seeking ways that were fun at first quickly turned into a hazard: when he wasn’t stumbling out of bars at night or passed out with a needle in his arm, she was finding lipstick stains on his collar and glitter all over his clothes, stuck cleaning up his messes to salvage her reputation. that wouldn’t damage him, but she could already hear the whispering; ‘how can she stay with him?’ ‘how didn’t she see this coming?’ ‘a divorce, not even a year into the marriage?’ ‘poor addie. poor poor addie’ no . she would not be the target of pity , or have his shit smeared all over her clean reputation. her friend’s words of encouragement? artists are like this, don’t take it personally. well, she did. she took it personally every time he stood her up at an important event or forced her to bail him out of trouble, every time they shouted at each other and he banged his fist against the walls like a dumb animal. their arguments turned to fights, and his endless stream of half-assed apologies just left her with an ashy taste in her mouth. two years in she made a list in her head of every little infraction he committed throughout their marriage. some nights, while he slept, she stayed awake and just looked at him, thinking about that list. divorce was never an option, after all, adelaide never failed at anything, and she wasn’t about to start now.

on december 12th of 2020, a month after celebrating her birthday in style, rock star joshua demarchelier was found dead in their home in los angeles, california, with fresh injection marks in both arms and a suicide note next to his body which would later have its authenticity questioned by some experts. there was a lot of buzz around the case at the time, but nothing that ever amounted to anything. the death was ruled a suicide, regardless, and adelaide was the sole inheritor of his patrimony, part of which she donated towards charities for drug addiction recovery and support, also becoming an outspoken advocate on the need for greater support of drug and alcohol addiction. eventually the buzz did die down, and the public found a new tragedy to latch onto, and her life was able to return to normal, if you could call it that.

inspirations: kate moss, alicia markova, amber valletta, india stoker (stoker), marquise de merteuil (les liaisons dangereuses), daisy buchanan (the great gatsby), ava lord (sin city)

HCS

despite being an LA person now, there is possibly nothing in this world adelaide loathes more than LA people and if she could get away with it she would push them into an open fan and watch them be shredded

always had anger issues, even as a child, though she’s always been good at hiding it. sometimes she’d slip up. like one time her dad told her to lose a tennis match to his associate’s son and she broke the racket on his head after the match. she tries not to break rackets on people’s heads now.

a wretched person, but she will make an effort to be liked because adelaide is in fact very concerned with how everyone perceives her (well, everyone who she thinks matters)

if you think the vibe is ‘i don’t know what happened to my husband, officer. she says, wiping a single tear, waltzing around her manor in a Catherine D’Lish robe.’ you would be correct

absolutely looooooooves nature / wildlife documentaries, she could spend hours just curled up on her couch watching this stuff if she had the time. but does she like animals? questionable. she doesn’t like cats. doesn’t like puppies. she has a snake, which she... well, it’s there. she feeds it sometimes. she also does seem to have an affinity for horses, or whatever her version of affinity is.

her and her family go hunting once a year, it looks very village of the damned when they get together. they’re all weird.

she also quite enjoys noir films, old hollywood movies, french cinema will forever have its special place in her heart. and she does tend to lean towards liking things with a more tragic ending. the same often applies to literature (think anna karenina, the great gatsby, etc)

she loves art! loves going to museums, and it’s a pretty big fan of kandinsky, pollock, picasso, etc. nothing she hates more than when she’s trying to disassociate from life looking at a painting and people try and make conversation :-)

you know what else she hates? sharing. if you’re friends with her and you have other friends? she hates that shit. she won’t admit it, she’ll just be passive aggressive about it if she thinks she can get away with it. the fact other people exist and demand attention? fucked up and she won’t hear about it.

#about.

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summoning-potema · 10 months

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still simming and i'm almost done furnishing addie's massive farm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i added lighting outside :) it looks great in build mode so i'm excited to see it in game when the sun goes down!

more below, with lots of indoor shots too ~

here's a couple more of the outside lighting! it's so dreamy. I love it. there are firefly spots all around the place so i'm really hoping this becomes magical at night!

onto the inside! It's a massive goddamn house it's taking forever. everybody has their own room though and there's plenty of room for activities and skills :)

anyway here's the house. the first pictures are of the living/kitchen area. this is the "modern" living area - a couple walls were torn down to make it an open floor plan as u do in old farmhouses. I'm going for heavy clutter, some old things, some new, and lots of houseplants everywhere. poppy is invisible in that plaid purple rug on the floor lol. build mode babies...

do u see Shane's hot sauce shelf? :) i still have to clutter up some shelves and the dining table and decide if I want the wood walls or not. I also wanna put family pictures up! so I'm leaving empty walls compared to other parts of the house.

Marnie's room is up next since she wanted some screentime, as u can see, her standing eerily behind the couch

Marnie is in one of the rooms with the original wallpaper. I might add a little grime to tell that story. isn't it so cute?!? i love this set so much i've been abusing it in this house - the wallpaper and paintings are from that set. She does the laundry in this house so there's a spot for her to watch her soaps while she folds clothes. her 'grandkids' make her things so she keeps them in here :) She's picking up crossstitching too.

Addie and Shane's room is a weird shape, i could not figure out the layout to this house and their room suffered for it lol. but the little hallway is a kinda walk in closet... Shane doesn't have a ton of stuff, except that one bookshelf and whatever clothes he has. One of his couches from his old apartment is in the basement. The rest is all Addie - she's a packrat, and i like her having clutter everywhere, including the walls. She has her more tame witchy things in her bedroom - tarot cards on the fireplace by her grandma's ashes, her book of shadows and mandala board on her dresser. I don't have my own posters made but let's pretend one of the ones in the corner is for nolan's band :p. Poppy is still small so her stuff is crammed in here for now, but she does have her own room. As you can see, no unsavory things in this room, don't snoop.

This is their little bathroom - the shower is to the right but u can't see. there's also a little ladder in here to the attic, which i just started furnishing 😇

The hallway on the upper floor is a little playroom area. I think it's cute :) the floral couch is from Marnie's house! In the far corner is where Jas does her homework.

this is Deli's room! a little bare on the walls so i'm working on that. but he has a pet rat ;___; and he likes voidcritters. wonder who he takes after

and here's Poppy's room - it's very small but works for a baby.

Jas' room is still in progress - I had it nice in my old save so ive got to save it from there and paste it in the next time i load the game.

Lastly... the 70s basement...

The stairwell is claustrophobia-inducing, i hope u can tell by the first pic. but u go downstairs and it's a blast from the past. lots of hand me down furniture including shane's old couch and ping pong table. this is also where i put the big kid play items that would be cute elsewhere if they didn't take so much space!! deli's dollhouse was supposed to be in his room but i could not get it to work in there :(

The last pic in that set is their brewing room. the beer machine was embarrased i came in to see him. I want it to be their pantry too - i'm hoping i can find a cc pack for basement pantries/homestead pantries. I'll even take disaster shelter pantries. the vibes need to be unhinged in here ok

I almost forgot, the never-remodelled bathroom

per custom i'll leave u a few parting misc pics. jas :)

marnie ignoring her nephew. she's busy!!! (this was from we're-all-in-the-living-room phase of this house lol)

and lastly, surprise! i have to find another metal band that could pass as a name for a baby (non canonical ass baby. i can name u whatever i want). this was an accident lol i forgot to re-enable her birth control after she had poppy ;_; and ya i can just use master controller to zap that baby gone, but both her and shane are happy about it and she is constantly rolling 'try for baby' wants. so u know what? here's ur baby have fun.

hope u enjoy lol. i obviously am :D eat sleep sims repeat amiright gamers

#sims crap #my sims crap #long post #like under the cut. i am so serious.

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perchglove1 · 2 years

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3 Interior Design Tips for Herringbone Wallpaper

Barn Wood Wallpaper has been a classic, elegant design motif since the Victorian era, and it still looks fresh today. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved upon! Here are three tips for making your herringbone wallpaper look even better than ever before. Only Use Barn Wood Planks Wallpaper in Small Areas If you decide to go with peel and stick geometric wallpaper, be careful not to overdo it. Try to limit its use to small areas (such as a hallway or behind furniture) and keep other elements in your room (like chairs, dressers, and throw pillows) neutral. A great way to do that is with white furniture, which can seamlessly complement herringbone patterns of any color. If your entire room is covered in herringbone wallpaper, it could get busy and overwhelming; try breaking up different patterns by using them on different walls throughout your space. This way you’ll also have an easier time decorating because you’ll know what works well with what. You’ll also want to match your accent colors accordingly when decorating so everything feels balanced. For example, if you paint one wall red for an accent color, paint another adjacent wall green; doing so will help to create visual flow from one area of your room to another. If you only hang smaller pieces throughout your space, however, matching won’t matter since they’ll blend right into the background and barely make a difference in terms of visual interest anyway. How to Pair Herringbone Wallpaper With Other Textures Deciding what your next home decor project will be can be a tough choice, and one of them is choosing an accent wall. With so many different options to choose from, it’s no wonder you’re hesitant. If you want a classic look that pairs well with most other patterns, consider herringbone peel and stick wallpaper. This popular design has been spotted on both flat walls and around doorways for several years now and continues to grow in popularity each season. So how do you pair herringbone wallpaper with other textures? It’s easier than you think. The first step to successful interior design when incorporating herringbone wallpaper is texture. No matter what style of room you have or where you plan on using the pattern, it should always be paired with a complementary texture elsewhere in your room. If you plan on surrounding a doorway with herringbone wallpaper, hang curtains that are entirely different and bring another texture into play. When picking out curtains for a formal living room or study area, keep in mind that heavy drapes usually look best when contrasting from other textures and patterns. A good rule of thumb is to stick with two textures maximum per space: your main design element (herringbone wall), plus one other major element (drapes). Don’t hesitate to use both if they complement each other! Our final tip for pairing herringbone wallpapers with other textures is easy: don’t match them! That’s right – matchy-matchy looks can feel too busy sometimes. Shiplap Wood Planks Wallpaper with Herringbone As a design choice, herringbone wallpaper makes quite an impact and it has been around for centuries. This pattern was popularized by Italian craftsmen during Renaissance times as they added new elements to classic Roman art. And although Shiplap Wallpaper have been used on walls since that time, they are now also seen on a wide variety of interior design pieces including doors, floors, and furniture. If you want to utilize herringbone designs in your home but aren’t sure how or where to start, here are some ideas and tips to get you started. 4 Ways to Use Herringbone On Walls: One of the biggest advantages of adding herringbone patterns is that you can use them anywhere. Adding Herringbone Chevron Wallpaper to doorways, ceilings, and floors will give rooms dimension, so these should be high on your list when deciding where herringbones can be placed. Additionally, if you decide not to paint or stain your wall color before applying wallpaper or artwork, adding subtle borders with a lightly stained wood finish will create depth without overwhelming a room. A final option is using two separate wallpapers that complement each other instead of one single fabric paper; mixing different papers together will allow you more options than just plain white sheets over everything else in your space and help create various focal points throughout your room.

#wood backdrop #reclaimed wood #wood wall decor #chevron #barn wood #barn board plank #barn wood planks #textured shiplap wallpaper #wood plank texture #shiplap wallpaper

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themermaidgrl · 2 years

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i exist for the girls who are obsessive and crave routine. who spend days on pinterest trying to find the perfect new phone background after having the same one for eight months. who download games and dream of their avatars and quests for weeks after playing for unhealthy amounts of time. who read one good book and spend weeks trying to find something similar, something that will fill the void left by the one they just read. who will rotate between wearing one pair of shoes with every outfit for a week and who get frustrated or upset when they have to change their weekly shoe due to weather or plain practicality. who have had the same top artist of the year for the last 5 years. who discover a new show or movie and immediately follow every fan account and search for every variation of content relating to it. who see people posting online about something and want to feel included, so they research and learn and teach themselves everything there is to know about that thing.

i exist for myself and for them.

#taylor swift #harry styles #harries #swifties #writing #obsessed #just spent like 3 hours making my notion #still trying to figure out the wallpaper #addy in wonderlland

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whitesuitjake · 1 year

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{AI generated GVF photos wallpapers pt. 2}

#greta van fleet #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #danny wagner wallpapers #josh kiszka wallpaper #jake kiszka wallpaper #sam kiszka wallpaper #greta van fleet wallpaper #addy makes wallpapers

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wkemeup · 3 years

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Sunrise (8)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.3k warnings: sweet happy beautiful bucky, a unpleasant reminder of the past, whiplash of emotion, the angst I warned you about 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

Bucky wasn’t quite sure how to hold onto this feeling without suffocating it.

It had been nearly a year since he’d felt even an ounce of the relief like what washed through his body when you walked through the door. All it took was a single smile from across the room, the soft brush of your hair over your fingers as you nervously tucked it behind your ear, and he was gone.

Enough for his cheeks to ache from smiling. Enough for his stomach to twist and knot from laughter. Enough for the wrinkles by his eyes to draw long and pronounced— the physical embodiment of joy upon his face.

He wasn’t walking on eggshells, waiting for the carpet to be dragged out from under his feet, for the paralyzing darkness of an empty void to consume him whole. The shadows weren’t lingering in his wake, itching to clench their claws into his spine and drag him away from the one thing that finally drew light back into his life.

For the first time since he stepped back on American soil, Bucky Barnes was happy. Truly and honest to God, happy.

“So! What do you think?” your voice called to him, breaking the trance he’d been in.

“Hmm?” Bucky blinked a few times to adjust to his surroundings. You were laughing at him, a hand over your lips in an effort to muffle the sound. Behind you, a woman directed a pointed stare in your direction despite the busy chatter inside Luciana’s.

“The book, Bucky,” you grinned, tapping on the edge of the binding.

He glanced down. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue sat propped in his right hand, the clip you’d given him the first day of book club nestled in at the center to keep the pages open. Truthfully, he hadn’t read a single word of it since he sat down with you an hour ago. His attention had been better kept watching how you tugged your lower lip between your teeth in concentration, how your eyes widened at a particularly suspenseful part of your chapter, how you clicked your nails against the coffee mug in perfect rhythm with the café music.

“It’s good,” he said, though you pouted at him.

“Bucky you’ve been on the same page for twenty minutes!”

Busted. He shrugged, a laugh in his breath.

“Guess there were better things to look at.”

Your lips parted for a second, caught off guard, before you settled back into your seat. Your hands wrung out in front of you, eyes darting down the floor. It wasn’t easy to make you flustered, but damn if it was Bucky’s favorite feeling in the world.

“Don’t insult my books like that, Barnes,” you teased, lingering smile upon your face.

“Wouldn’t call it an insult,” he said simply. “There’s not much that can hold a candle when you’re around.”

The stun didn’t leave your face for a few seconds. You stared at him, then glanced around the room nervously as if he’d said something incredibly intimate. He couldn’t remember the last time this came so easy to him – the flirting, the charm. It was something he’d thrived on before the war and now, it seemed you brought that side out of him again.

“You’re a charmer today,” you observed, laughing through the nervous energy. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” Bucky shrugged, reaching across the table to break off a piece of your pastry and plopped it into his mouth. “I’m happy. Can I be happy?”

You nodded quickly, almost a little too enthusiastically, with a smile so wide on your face he wondered if it were possible for it to touch your ears.

“Yeah. Yeah, you can be happy.” The words left your lips almost breathlessly. You were looking at him like he was the goddamn sun and damn if that didn’t tug straight at his heart. “I like you happy.”

“I like me happy, too,” Bucky chuckled. He glanced up at the clock. “Come on, we should head over to the VA.”

You downed the rest of your coffee in a single chug and set the cup on the counter. Luciana waved at you as you moved towards the exit, Bucky in tow, and she winked at him as he passed by. He nodded, offering her a tight-lipped smile as he stepped out into the cool Autumn air. Your hand naturally slipped into his and you tugged him along the sidewalk.

“Promise me you’ll actually pay attention to Steve’s spiel instead of staring at me the whole time,” you teased him as you walked over the crosswalk, nudging his side.

Steve was giving a presentation at the VA for the open house; explaining the benefits, the groups, different opportunities, and the respite rooms. It was a big deal apparently and helped to bring a lot of former soldiers into the fold. It was one of your favorite days because there was usually an increase of members at book club for a few weeks after.

“No guarantees,” Bucky replied, face as even as he could manage it. That was, until you swatted his chest and he burst into laughter, drawing the attention of a group of teenagers who eyed him as they walked by. Their lingering stare meant nothing to him when he stood at your side.

When you reached the VA, you pushed open the door, considering his hand was otherwise occupied, and led him inside. There were dozens of people in the lobby, certainly more than he’d ever seen inside. Men and women were mingling around the tables, some sitting on the couches, with paper plates of cheese and crackers from the grocery store.

Tony stumbled by carrying about four boxes filled with cookies, barely keeping his balance.

“I could use a little help, kid!” he called, eyeing you as he frantically made his way to the kitchen.

“Coming, Tony!” You turned to Bucky, smile still present on your face as you ran a hand along his arm in comforting sweeps. “Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Go.”

Maybe if he looked close enough, he might have seen a well of pride on your face, but you didn’t give him the chance before you leaned up and pressed a kiss straight to his lips— no cares for the crowd in the room or the fact that Sam and Steve were lingering around the VA somewhere. Bucky couldn’t find it in himself to worry about the stares because, hell, maybe he wanted people to know you were the woman he had the privilege of kissing.

“Go,” Bucky said again, pulling away from you reluctantly as a clanging could be heard from the kitchen, followed by an aggravated moan which could have only belonged to Tony Stark. You pouted, stealing one last kiss before bolting down the hall and out of sight.

Bucky spent a few extra seconds staring down the end of the empty hallway before he turned back to the room. The crowd didn’t bother him as much as it might have a few months earlier. He didn’t feel the same rush of anxiety in his veins as he felt on busy streets, but it didn’t mean he was explicitly comfortable either.

So, he kept to the outskirts of the room, standing along the wall and observing quietly from the corners.

The event seemed to be going well. He’d spotted Steve mingling with a group of older guys with long white beards and biker jackets, laughing as they told him about their adventures biking cross country. Sam found his way over to the couch beside a few of the guests who had busied themselves with the food instead and even found a way to get them talking to one another. Bucky kept his hand pressed into his pocket, a semblance of a smile on his face as he watched Sam pick a chip of the plate of the woman he was talking to without reservation.

It was a good place. A respite. Just like Sam had told him it would be. Bucky found a sense of normalcy in this building he couldn’t have hoped to find out in the real world alone— a belonging – and he knew a lot of that had to do with you.

He was just about to head down to the kitchen to see if you needed any help when he heard a voice that ran like ice through his veins. What it had said was indistinguishable, but Bucky could recognize the thick grovel of the tone almost anywhere. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder, trying to remain as small as possible, as he spotted Jack Rollins emerging from the entrance.

With slicked jet-black hair, hardened angular lines upon his face, and a permanent scowl etching down on his features, Jack Rollins was not a man Bucky ever wanted to see again. He spoke with the two men in his wake, gesturing to a woman who was standing quietly by herself, reading the flyers on the bulletin board, as if he were stalking prey.

Bucky’s heart was thunderous as he took a step back. His black slammed against the wall, catching the breath in his lungs. His fingertips brushed over the chill of the pealing wallpaper, trying to find his grounding before Rollins noticed he was there. But luck was never so kind to him.

It only took one scan of the room before Rollin’s eyes landed on Bucky. He stilled, just as surprised to see him, but then, something dark twisted upon his features.

“Sergeant Barnes!” he called over the crowd, a jeering sort of laugh in his voice.

Bucky gritted his teeth, forcing himself to meet Rollins in the eye. “Jack.”

“Been over a year, man. How you been?” Rollins was conversational only in statement. His tone was near threatening, his men following behind him like a shadow. Dark eyes trailed down along the empty sleeve on Bucky’s side, a smile rising on his face.

Bucky tried to pretend as though he didn’t notice. “Recovering. You?”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” Rollins chuckled. Then, he puffed his chest up. “I’ve been working for the private sector.”

That didn’t surprise him. Rollins always had an affinity for the darkest parts of the job overseas. He took too much pleasure in the use of his weapon, paid no mind to the destruction left behind in his wake. Rollins was exactly the sort of man the military hoped to produce; follow chain of command without question, find purpose in your mission, execute without remorse. Seemed he found more of the same when he returned home. Only this time for a bigger paycheck.

Bucky could still picture him dressed in army camouflage with the weight of near forty pounds of combat gear on his back, finger always on the trigger. It felt a bit like that now, Bucky realized, as Rollins narrowed his eyes as if he were going in for the kill.

“You know, Barnes,” Rollins shrugged, exchanging a snide grin with his friends, “I’m a little surprised you’d even show your face around here after what happened. Takes guts.”

Bucky swallowed as though there weren’t blades in his throat. He tried not to let the hitch in his breath show or how his stomach dropped about ten feet below the surface. Instead, he pressed his lips together into a thin line, holding Rollins’ stare as if he were made of stone.

“You should leave,” Bucky said, his voice low enough to break gravel.

“Me?” Rollins mocked, laughing as he turned to his friends. Then, facing Bucky again as a darkness clouded over his features. “That's rich, coming from you.”

Bucky held his breath. He tried to draw on images of you sitting across from him at Luciana’s, how you smiled at him, how you made him feel like he didn’t carry such a heavy weight upon his back. He pictured you curled up next to him in your bed, imprints of the pillow on your cheeks and the covers pulled up tight to your chin. He imagined how your hand felt in his, how it brushed along his back, how your lips felt on his cheek, on his mouth.

But those pictures started to fade the longer Rollins stared at him, that devilish smirk upon his face as he ran a hand along his jawline, cracking his knuckles against the bone. Those comforting images of you sunk into the darkness, pulled from him somewhere far beyond where he could reach and suddenly, he felt like he was standing on a pillar at the center of the ocean, nothing but violent waves surrounding him for miles. Alone.

“I mean, what the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?” Rollins jeered, picking up a cookie from the table, inspecting it for a moment before he tossed it back on the platter. It crumbled on impact. “You think you even deserve to step foot in this building after what you did?”

“It didn’t go down like you think,” Bucky shot back, his voice uneven, wavering, as if he didn’t quite believe it himself.

He tried to repeat the words that Sam had worked to instill in him again and again for months after he came home. They never seemed to stick until the last few weeks but now – now they felt as far away as ever.

I did everything I could.

Some things are outside of my control.

It wasn’t my fault.

He wasn’t sure he believed that with Jack Rollins circling around him like a vulture, amused by the distress quickly forming against Bucky’s features.

From across the room, Sam stood up from his place on the couch, a hand gesturing over to Steve as he caught sight of Rollins. Bucky retreated in his stance, feeling as though Rollins was towering over him, his chest caving in. Rollin smirked, teeth bared and ready to strike.

With venom like precision, Rollins spat, “You’re the reason half our unit is dead, asshole.”

It hit like a sucker punch to the gut, made him stumbled back a few paces as if he were clocked in the chest. The initial blow only lasted for a few seconds before the overwhelming sense of shame seeped back into his veins, slipping through his blood like muddied waters and stealing away the careful, steady progress he’d made.

Then, a lingering acceptance as it cleared him to the surface.

A numbness took over, casting back to the shadows inside his mind. It was what he’d been waiting for since the day he’d stepped foot off that plane – for someone to confirm all the destruction and self-loathing he’d felt since that day.

Rollins was right.

I could have saved them.

I could have prevented all of it.

It was my fault.

He’d been foolish to convince himself otherwise.

“Hey!” Sam barked, jutting out in front of Bucky and shoving a hand to the middle of Rollin’s chest as he attempted to draw closer. “What the fuck is your problem, man?”

“My problem? My problem is you’re letting just about anyone walk through those doors!” Rollins shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Bucky. “Your buddy here is responsible for eight of our own coming home in caskets!”

Bucky flinched, visibly recoiling as if something had burned him, and it seemed to be the reaction Rollins was looking for because a snide grin slid up along his cheeks.

Steve was suddenly on his left, a hand pressed to his shoulder. He was whispering something in his ear, but he couldn’t quite hear him. He could hardly make out what Sam was shouting as he attempted to push Rollins towards the door. A crowd was gathering – standing in watch to observe the shame of a soldier who should have burned in the desert with his friends.

“What’s going on?”

Bucky’s heart dropped at the sound of your voice as you appeared on his right. He didn’t know how long you’d been there or what you heard, but it was the first time he ever regretted allowing himself the luxury of your presence, of your warmth and kindness. You should have been an anchor beside him, but he could feel the rope slipping from his grip, letting him sink down into the ocean or float high into the clouds – somewhere far away from where you were.

You ran your hand along his arm, trying to thread an ounce of comfort back into his body, but he was rigid as stone. The touch was paralyzing. It was a reminder of his emptiness, of his ill attempt to be worthy of your affection. You seemed to notice as you stared up at him, worry filling your eyes.

“Ah, so you’ve got a girl now, too?” Rollins sneered towards Bucky, shoving Sam aside.

“Leave her out of this,” Bucky warned, his voice returning to him only in your defense. He stepped out in front of you, shielding you from Rollins’ gaze.

It only seemed to amuse him more. “Tell me, sweetheart. What’s it like? I mean, can he even get the job done? You wanna try being with a real man again?”

It was Sam that roared in response. “Watch your fucking mouth!”

Your hand rested on Bucky’s shoulder blades as if you were trying to ease him but he felt like he was on fire. Rollins shoved Sam aside to get a better look at you, a predator going in for the kill.

Rollins’ cold eyes stared directly into yours and Bucky felt his breathing stop.

“Did you know half of our unit died under his watch?”

Everything became white noise after that. Bucky didn’t dare turn to look at your reaction, nor could he hear Sam’s defense or Steve’s angry shouts as Rollins continued his taunts. He didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly, Rollins was on the floor. Sam was shaking his hand out, holding his fist against his chest.

Rollins stumbled his way back to his feet with a vengeance, folding his hands into fists as he charged at Sam.

“Get him out of here!” Steve’s muffled voice called to you as the crowd began to swarm in. Former soldiers joining the chaos, cheering or barreling fists. A man bumped into Bucky’s shoulder, but there was no trace of a reaction on his face. He was empty. He was numb.

Bucky could vaguely feel your hand as you slipped it into his pocket, drawing his own to intertwine between your fingers and you tugged him down the hall. He knew better than to look over his shoulder at the mess he was leaving behind.

***

You took Bucky into the empty library, quickly closing the door behind you to muffle the sound of the shouting down the hall. Bucky stood at the head of the couch, his eyes downcast.

“Are you alright?” You knew there was no good answer. It was a foolish question. And still -- you asked.

Your hands slid along Bucky’s chest, up to his shoulders to try and draw some of the tension away, and for the first time, he recoiled under your touch. Your hands quickly dropped down to your sides as you took a few steps back, hands held tightly in front of you. A flash of remorse covered his features as he looked at you, but then the stone swept back in its place and hardened the softened edges you adored. You pushed aside the splinter inside your chest.

“Who was that guy anyway? He seems like a real piece of work.” You laughed, though it was tense and forced. Bucky didn’t so much as crack a smile.

It was silent for a moment. The only sound coming from the low hum of the radiator in the corner of the room. Bucky’s gaze was fixated on the carpet, staring at the years’ faded stains and the dust bunnies at the foot of the couch. A terrible aching tugging down on his lips, on his eyes, on his cheeks, and he barely resembled the man who had teased you over coffee at Luciana’s just an hour earlier.

“He was right, though.”

You swallowed, daring to ask, “what do you mean?”

“I'm the reason half my unit is dead,” Bucky replied flatly. When he looked at you again, you found his eyes were red, his lips swollen from chewing on the edges. His right hand had indents in his palm from where he’d dug his nails into the skin. Your stomach lurched.

“Oh, Bucky.” Your heart broke at the sight of him. “That... That can’t be true.”

He didn’t say anything, but the grit in his teeth was enough to tell you that he believed it. You’d only seen glimpses of how the war had touched him, how it cast shadows over the man he’d been before he stepped on that plane and adorned the uniform, but now – now, it felt like those shadows had consumed him whole. He couldn’t so much as see the soft rise of the sun over his shoulder. He was too swept up in the embrace of darkness. The light couldn’t touch him where he stood shielded by night.

“Why don’t we go to my place?” you offered, inching a step closer. When he didn’t retreat, you gathered his hand into your own. While he didn’t pull away again, you could feel the reluctance in his grip, the rigidity in his stance. “I can make dinner and we'll throw on a movie, okay? Let’s just get out of here.”

Your right hand slid along the side of his face, cupping at his cheek. He usually leaned into the touch, pressed a kiss to the inside of your palm. Instead, the most he could force out was a tight-lipped smile that did not touch his eyes. You could practically feel how hard he was clenching his jaw, the muscle tired and aching. Still, he nodded.

As you led him out the back exit of the VA, you glanced behind you to see Rollins sitting on the floor, nursing a bloody nose as a police officer stood over him, jotting down notes as he spoke with Steve. Sam caught your eye for a second, nodding in your direction. A relief washed through you and you tugged Bucky outside before anyone could notice him slip out.

It was silent the whole walk to your apartment. It wasn’t entirely unusual, but it was the first time the air carried a lingering sense of discomfort in it. You wondered what was going on in Bucky’s head, how badly he’d construed whatever Rollins had said to him, even before you arrived. Sam had told you of Bucky’s self-destructive habit of carrying guilt far heavier than he could carry, guilt that didn’t belong to him. He seemed to welcome it like it was made for him. He didn’t mind if it ripped him apart and left him broken and empty when it was done. He seemed to think it was what he deserved.

You squeezed his hand, hoping it might draw back a sense of comfort, but he kept his eyes forward on the empty streets ahead. His hand was little more than limp in your hold.

***

Bucky was just on the edge of sleep when it began to creep up on him. Slow at first, and then, sudden, in violent flashes.

Sweltering heat. The low rumble of a jeep. An infectious laugh on his left and the cold compress of a gun in his hands. A sudden stop.

Bucky gritted his teeth, trying to turn away from the images attempting to draw him under, to sweep him beyond the current, to drown him in the darkest parts of the depth. But the riptide caught hold of his leg and forced him underwater.

Heavy equipment on his back. Sand under his feet. The sun blinding in his eyes.

He swallowed, but his throat was lined in rust. It burned. He couldn’t breathe.

A reflection over a valley. Someone shouting. Screaming. Warning. Frantic.

The kid. Get to the kid!

Then – the heat of a fire scorching his skin. Ringing in his ears. Muffled. Agonizing silence. Blood on the sand, on his shoes, dripping down his side and soaking into his uniform.

Pain. So much pain. So much pain. So much—

Bucky’s eyes shot open. He sucked in a breath of air and it came in short and shallow, barely filling his lungs, and he was panting for more. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, gasping for breath until he took enough in that the dizziness started to subside. His forehead was lined in sweat, his right hand shaking uncontrollably as he gripped at the sheets.

It was as mild as it’s ever been – the nightmares. Usually, he woke up screaming, his voice so raw it ached until morning. He thrashed and kicked and drew blood until something finally jarred him awake. He’d broken the lamp beside his bed four times in the weeks after he came home. It was violent and messy, and it was a damn miracle he’d only felt a sliver of it tonight.

But it had been so long since he had one. He almost thought they had finally released him from their hold before Rollins showed up. For a while, they let him be happy. He should have known better than to expect it to last.

The mattress dipped slightly behind him and with a sharp hilt, Bucky suddenly remembered where he was.

He turned over his shoulder to find you laying on the bed beside him, hair cast up and around you against the pillow, eyes closed, the steady rhythm of your breaths indicating you were still fast asleep. He stilled for a moment, watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest, the light scrunch in your nose.

You’d tried so hard to get him to smile the whole evening after what happened at the VA. Constant touches to his cheeks, along his arm, playing absentmindedly with his hand. You made him dinner and curled up against him as you put on a movie that you were certain would turn his mood around, but he remained stoic and cold until you finally resigned to the bedroom.

He could tell how exhausted you were. Even reaching for his hand, there was a helplessness in your grasp, but you’d begged him to stay, insisting you didn’t want him to be alone after what happened at the VA. You held him tight to your chest, told him over and over again that you didn’t care what Rollins said, you knew he was a good man and that was all that mattered.

Bucky wanted so badly to believe that.

But here you were – so beautiful, a light, something good in his life he didn’t deserve.

Sam would kill him for giving into those thoughts again, but all he had in his head was violence and agony and there you were – so peaceful and soft and kind. He'd taint you with all the mess threatening to break through his seams. He’d hurt you. He'd break you. You couldn’t hold him together no matter how hard you tried. He didn’t deserve such kindness. Today reminded him of that.

Bucky leaned in and pressed a short kiss to your temple. It was feather light and still, you sighed in your sleep. He tried not to notice when the corners of your lips curved up into a smile.

Then, he crept out of the room, stealing one last look at you as you turned onto your side, arms crossed over your chest protectively. Something tugged inside his chest, begging him to stay. He could feel it pushing him back toward the bed, to your embrace and the comfort it brought, but he turned his back. He ignored his every instinct to return to your side and dragged his feet of the bedroom instead.

Despite his reluctance, he found himself lingering on the photograph in your hallway of the Air Force pilot; sandy blonde hair, a tight-lipped smile, features that made him look younger than he probably was. A pang of jealousy wretched into his stomach at the sight of this nameless man. Shame quickly followed.

You never spoke of the man in the photo – the nameless Air Force pilot who stood at your side in front of your parents. The way you pressed out a smile despite your tears, the position of your stance angled closer to the pilot as if to preserve your last remaining moments together, made Bucky question what had happened to this man. This was clearly a man you had loved. Might still love.

Bucky didn’t dare allow himself to wonder if he had ever measured up. He supposed now he would not get the chance.

Bucky let out a sigh as he turned away from the picture. He made it all the way to the door before he heard the squeak of the floor boards behind him.

“Bucky?”

Sleep was still etched in your voice. You yawned as you folded your arms, squinting at him to adjust to the dim light in the kitchen. Bucky clenched his jaw, reluctantly turning to face you.

“It’s the middle of the night,” you said, eyes flickering to the clock above the stove. It was then you must have noticed the jacket draped over his shoulders, boots on his feet, hand begrudgingly releasing the door knob. Your face fell. “Where are you going?”

He didn’t know what to say. Was there an easy way to break your heart? Was there any excuse that could allow both of you to walk away from this unharmed? There was no good answer, but his silence certainly was worse.

“Bucky?” you tried again and he could hear the inflection of concern etched into your tone. You took a step closer to him and he held himself firm. He was stone now. It was what he had to be.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered out, voice low, though he met your eye. “I can’t do this.”

If you were still half asleep a moment ago, you weren’t anymore. Your eyes widened, lips parting. Your arms fell down to your sides.

“What... What are you talking about?” you exhaled, barely above a whisper. He could hear the hurt in your voice, the confusion, and he hated himself for it. You stepped closer, reaching out for his hand. “Please, just come back to bed. You look like you haven't slept for—”

Bucky pulled his hand away the moment you touched his fingers. It forced a hitch in your breath, a step back. You hadn’t expected him to recoil from you like that. Two times in the same day. You were losing him, the realization clear in your eyes. He was slipping and he would not take the tether as you threw it to him.

“This is about what that man said at the VA, isn’t it?” you asked timidly, your lip quivering. You shook your head, trying to hold back tears though Bucky could practically hear the tension from the lump in your throat. “He was... he was just being cruel. I don’t believe a word of it. And neither does Sam or Steve – the people that love you, Bucky. Don’t give in into him. Don’t let him win.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, rendering his reaction colder than you deserved.

You reached out for him again, a habit, though you pulled your hand back to your chest before you could touch him. It was shaking.

“Honey, please,” you tried again, unwilling to give up on him like you should. “Come get some rest and maybe you’ll feel better in the morning. Just... don’t go. Don’t be alone with this.”

You were begging. He could hear it in your voice. The desperation. And still—Bucky offered you nothing in return.

He sank so far inside himself you couldn’t reach beyond the cliffside to offer your hand. All it took was a single push. He was already standing so close to the edge. Rollins had set a hand on his back, like an old friend, like an enemy, and shoved. Bucky didn’t even try to catch his fall.

“Whatever this is...” Bucky murmured and eyes focused down at the tile, unable to look at you as he broke your heart, “it’s over.”

His heart was splintering as he said it and still, he turned and left without another word. He didn’t wait for your response, didn’t wait to see whether his cruelty had ended in tears, and closed the door behind him. You didn’t attempt to follow.

You’d understand eventually, he convinced himself. Even a woman as compassionate and loving as you couldn't possibly love a man so broken, with jagged edges and open wounds, with shards of glass embedded inside him and poison in his touch. Empty and hollow. Broken.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes

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buckyjamess-archive · 3 years

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𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼

chapter nine • wordcount: 1.5k+ • warnings: Sam's a real dick. pregnancy, babies, kids, fluff and angst.

summary

going through rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.

masterlist • chapter eight • chapter ten

"What exactly is your problem," stirring his coffee, bucky looks up at the man "What's your deal?"

"I just think its the dumbest thing you've ever done in your life, Barnes."

Bucky shifts in his seat and leans back. Taking in the surroundings of the small cafe around the corner; its antique interior, wooden floor and beige wallpapers, solid wood bar in the middle, vases with fake flowers– a place he's been before, the place he took you on a very first official date. Cozy, familiar.

He needs a second to collect himself, the man on the other side of the booth getting on his nerve; something bucky never thought could've happened to this extent.

he had the right to be mad, bucky promised him not to after all and he broke that but the nasty names and things thrown your way that afternoon, dirty threats and hurtful comments- it wasn't the friend he knew, it wasn't sam.

But after all that's said and done, you still had the heart to send the wilson's a message with the changes happening in yours and rosie's lives; mainly for hailey and addie, you couldn't care less about sam. With moving to Brooklyn pretty soon and a baby on the way, they had the right to know whether they'd take it or not.

Bucky never expected a single message from sam to talk; just the two of them. The first few minutes going great, amazing even; like old times sake until sam brought up you..rosie..together.

"But why do you have a problem with it?" Bucky quips again "because I'm not really sure why."

Sam shrugs "Jesus buck, how long have you been together, couple of months?"

"Nearly a year," bucky corrects "and what about it?"

"That's not a solid foundation to start a damn family now, is it."

Agitated, bucky bouncing his legs up and down under the table and takes a sip of his still hot cup of coffee, burning down his throat. 1..2..3

"I don't think you have a damn say in that– feels right for us."

Sam snorts "no relationship ever felt right with you."

"Can you drop that?" Bucky hisses "those are over and nothing like what I have with y/n."'

The two men stare at each other for a second or five, both silently sipping away at their coffee; air filling with tension around the both.

"Why are you mad at her?"

"I'm not mad at y/n." Sam snaps back

Now bucky snort "I don't know man, I recall that day– called her all these names, yelled at her..in front of Rosie even."

"I was mad at her that moment." Sam explains "I'm over that-"

Sam can't finish his sentence, bucky cutting him off "then why did you ignore her text about Rosie her birthday?" Sam stays quiet and bucky chuckles dryly "just for rosie's birthday– put aside our differences for a kids 4th birthday because she wanted to have her niece there."

"You guys never once asked about hailey." Sam spits back and slams his empty cup on the table.

Bucky leans back in his chair even more and finishes his cup too. Eyes wondering around the cafe- bystanders had nothing to do with this nor should they nudge their nose in their business.

"We talk with Hailey everyday," bucky says "texting, video calls- she asked you about the birthday party and you said no."

Sam stays quiet again, silently watching bucky reach into his pocket, pulling out a few bills and slams it on the table next to the cup.

"I think i know what your problem is, sam," bucky starts "it's never been about y/n or rosie, it's always been about riley."

Taken aback, sam gasps for air like a fish on dry land

The legs of bucky his chair scrape across the wooden floor as he stands up and pulls his jacket of the back, pulling it on and looks back at sam one more time.

"But you haven't figured that out yet."

Obsessed; the best birthday gift she'd ever gotten in her four years on this earth. Rosie changed her confusion to being overjoyed in milliseconds, nearly falling off the bed when she finally understood that 'mom did not eat a baby' and 'you're going to be a big sister!' – letting it know to the world; telling the teachers, the other kids from preschool and their parents- ready to tell everyone, making the two of you drop the news to friends and family first.

Excited to say the least.

The baby doll sleeping in the colorful crib moved next to her bed, getting a whole other meaning– practicing for being a big sister. Careful not to hurt mom during play fights with dad early morning. Head laid upon the bump, listening close, giggles erupting with each kick. Being extra nice to mom- for a while, the world only revolves around the baby.

Absolutely thrilled to finally meet the baby itself.

Sitting in between you and bucky, Rosie swings her legs back and forth, taking in her surroundings, gaze landing back on the play area she'd left just a minute ago. Hyperactive, thrilled, too much emotions for a four year old; she looks up at bucky, you and back at bucky.

"Daddy?"

Bucky hums and looks down at the kid with raised brows

"If we- i, when we-"

"Calm down." bucky chuckles.

Rosie nods and pushes herself further up the chair, legs raised to her chest.

"If I live at your house, can I have a cat?"

an innocent question but asked a million times; you sigh and bucky chuckles- your mood hasn't been all too great the last couple of days and bucky blames it on today.

Not only excited for the baby, she couldn't wait to 'live in dads house', decorate her own bedroom, make new friends, go to school..get a cat, or a dog..fish are cool too.

"We'll talk about that later." bucky states.

Rosie nods and silence falls upon the waiting room and its people in it. Rosie fiddles with the hem of her shirt and restlessly moves around on her chair, to your annoyance.

The two of you had been waiting for this moment. Placed bets and argued for hours on end, looking for old wives tales; a boy or a girl and where bucky is convinced it's a girl, you're convinced it's a boy

Truth is; you really couldn't care less if it were a boy or a girl, they're both more than welcome- as long as its happy but you had to blame your moodiness on something- bucky knew your mood swings like no other, that excuse doesn't work anymore.

You're annoyed, disappointed and anxious ever since bucky left to do something one afternoon, without as much of a hint as to what. Coming back home on edge– you didn't ask about it, not even gave it a second though. Traffic, rude people- you blamed everything for his moodiness

But the both of you had no secrets, talked about everything and nothing- so why did he keep his mouth shut when you asked him that night; the first time you went to bed angry with him and with the amount of hurt and disappointment you've lived through, your mind went there again.

What if he lied about more things, why did he leave early to pick up rosie for daycare and why did he offer to do groceries so many times? He wouldn't be the first to cheat on you and definitely not the first to leave you with another child to take care of.

Deep inside you knew you were overreacting but with hormones running through your veins, prepping your move to Brooklyn and the thing with sam wilson, your mind didn't let you think of something else.

"Alright, miss rosie, are we ready?"

Turned into a shy little lady, Rosie nods wordlessly at the woman dressed in the white coat both her tiny hands clamped around bucky his hands, seated on his lap. Both watching in anticipation.

"Okay, here we go then."

Amazed, Rosie watches the doctor work her magic on your bump, just like her stepdad the very first time. Ears perking up at the sound of a heartbeat thudding. Puppy dog eyes as the doctor tells her to watch the screen 'that's the baby!' – wiggling around to get more comfortable, Rosie her eyes never once leave the screen, hands tightening the grip around Bucky's; she doesn't understand but she listens to the three of you talking.

"Do you guys want to know the gender?"

You and bucky answer in unison, yes.

"Okay," the doctor smiles and averts her eyes to Rosie "what do you think it's going to be?"

"A baby." Rosie is quick to answer, making the three others chuckle.

"You're absolutely right about that– a boy or a girl baby?"

gears turning miles per hour, rosie thinks, searching for an answer

"A girl."

"A girl, okay-" the doctor smiles.

Her gaze lands back on the equipment in front of her and moves the wand around your bump, leaving the room with silence and anticipation. Mumbling a few 'okays' and 'alrights' she once again turns back to Rosie and squints her eyes.

"What if it's a boy?"

"That's okay too." Rosie all but whispers.

The doctor nods and smiles, looking back and forth between you and bucky "it's a boy."

Taglist; @farfromshawn @nicollettemarie @wooya1224 @felicityofbakerstreet @agentmstark @sierrax023 @lilyevanswhore @qhbr2013 @buckybarnesobsessed @themaddies-obx @aloserwithoutacause @aanngie @sebby-staan @sweetth1ng @starrystarkey93 @libidinexx @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @gasly-kvyat @brown-bi-beautiful @peter-laufeyson @im-squished @meshlababy @lindseyrae20 @cb97skies @qwccrr @ssprayberrythings @yougottalovefandoms @jbcalway @realgaytrash @natyvwe @poetryazenth

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanic #bucky barnes imagine #rosie and i

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littletealseal · 3 years

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CR AGERE Short Story: no3 pt 1

CW: changing, bottle feeding

Note: This writing is in no way ship liturature of these two cookies, due to personally not feeling comfortable with the ship

It was a lovely summer morning as Blackberry Cookie was busy in her employers family mansions kitchen working on breakfast for said employer and herself, with her small ghost friends floating around fetching ingredients and cleaning the dining table for when breakfast would be served. The purple haired cookie just had finished up mixing together some batter when a small ghost tugged at her sleeve gaining her attention and gestured her to follow, Blackberry listened carefully and picked up the sound of crying in the distance.

“ Hmm.. He’s up a bit early” - She said while turning off the griddles flame and making her way in the direction where the crying was coming from.

Blackberry Cookie soon reached the bedroom door that lead to Adventurer Cookies room and entered, noting the cleanly made bed a few feet away and then turned to another door on the far right of the bedroom. The maid walked over to the second door and the crying was much higher in volume and only raised after she opened said door, the room on the other side was actually a nursery! Which was decorated to have a jungle theme with cutely drawn animals and trees on the wallpaper, and furnitures wood were stained where the natural colors could still be seen. The room also had a toy chest filled with many baby suited toys, a plush pile and hammock, a child sized bookshelf with easy to read books, and a rather largely sized changing table and crib, which had a mobile hanging above with plush jungle animals. Blackberry made her way to the crib and gazed down at the source of the crying, Adventurer Cookie was loudly weeping as he lied in his crib next to a worried looking Backpacky, and a few stuffies. The purple haired cookie wore a soft smile as she cooed and opened the cribs side, leaning in to apply pressure on the bedding next to the regressed cookie, as to not spook him. This slowly gained the attention of the tan haired cookie, making him rub his eyes and look up at the maid with puffy cheeks.

“ hhnnmm.. Mama?...” -The adventurous cookie said as he raised his little arms as a sign that he wanted to be picked up.

“ Everything is ok, sweetie.. Mama’s right here, you’re safe now...” -Blackberry softly said as she lifted up the weepy bundle and held him close.

There she turned and brought Addie over to the changing table and proceeded to change his d1aper after laying him down, the tan haired cookie relaxed as this was going on and cooed while suckling on a blue and green pacifier, aiding in calming the fussy baby down. After being put in a fresh d1aper, Blackberry picked Addie back up and brought him over to a soft looking chair near the crib, she held the small cookie close and began to hum a soothing tune, causing Addie to calm down even more and nuzzle into his Mamas chest.

Suddenly a rumbling sound emitted from Adventurer Cookies tummy spooking him and causing him to whine, Blackberry began to try and settle the fussy cookie down until she noticed her pet, Ghost Butler, enter the nursery with a warm babies bottle full of milk. The purple haired cookie thanked her pet with a nod after being given the bottle, and swiftly presented it to the hungry baby. Addie sniffled before latching onto the bottles teat and happily suckled, all while snuggling into his Mamas arms and chest. Blackberry resumed peacefully humming to her small baby as she held the bottle up and watched out of the corner of her eye Addie struggling to keep his eyes open, cooing and squeaking while drinking, soon finishing the bottle and letting out a sweet sounding yawn and hiccup.

“ Heh, there we go.. feeling better bubba?” -Blackberry softly asked the drowsy baby, to which she received a mumbly nod and saw Addie rest his head on her shoulder. “ Hmm, I know you’re tired sweetie.. but breakfast is almost ready, and I know a certain baby gets rather cranky when their tumtum is empty.” -She said in a goofy tone-

“ hhnn.. don wanna....” - Addie mumbled as he buried his face more into Blackberries shoulder, just wanting to go back to sleep-

“ Oh I know, but Mama decided to make some yummy pancakes this morning~”

“ !! Pamcakys??” - Hearing this seemingly snapped Adventurer out of his sleepy state immediately, as he looked up at the purple haired cookie with wide and sparkly eyes, making said cookie chuckle-

“ Heheh yes Bubba, now let’s go to the dining room so Mama can finish up making breakfast ok?” - She said to the now fully awake baby, and received an enthusiastic nod from the tan haired cookie, making her chuckle more- “ Alright sweetie, let’s go now” The two cookies and pets then left the nursery and headed to the dining room, with Blackberry barely able to hold a very exited and squiggly Addie.

To be continued...

---------------

Oh wow didn’t think this would get this long! Oo oh well lol

I started writing this last night since I was really small after looking at some pics of Addie and other stuff going on causing me to slip, and I really wanted to make more fluffy stuff 🧡 This is based off a story with these two I wrote a year ago but with alot of new stuff added and.., I’m actually gonna finish it lol XD

I hope to get part two out soon, but knowing me I’ll feel smol enough to want to write it soon lol, anyway I hope you guys like this part! ^^

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doll-collecting-aerialist · 3 years

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Make Addy’s House With Me!!

So.. I made Addy a house. More like a room, but same difference. While this house isn’t completely modeled on Addy’s main house in her books (the house owned and managed by the Golden’s), as I wanted to use this as a photography set some of my other dolls (Kirsten, Kit), it still models after what a house could of looked like.

And because I like to talk, I will give you a not so concise tutorial on how I made this set. This project took about ten days. Sorry for no “keep reading,” I’m on mobile.

You’ll Need:

Thick Cardboard (I used three big boxes that were used to ship dolls)

A cereal box (or a similar weight of card board)

Card stock. I used an entire stack in the printing of all the different wood pieces. Printer paper tends to wrinkle and tear, it’s not ideal for making a photo set that you’ll eventually be putting doll furniture on.

Acrylic paint. I used two dark browns and a reddish brown.

Modge Podge. I used a matte all purpose modge podge and then a glossy paper modge podge. I definitely recommend using matte all purpose, it was much easier to work with and well.. not annoyingly shiny. I ended up using two full bottles, so you will need a lot.

Tacky glue. Make sure it dries CLEAR.

Two clear sheet protectors.

Duck tape. Or weird, off brand washi tape that your weird slavic grandma gave you.

Yarn.

A good pair of scissors. Or a craft knife if you’re fancy.

A sharp pencil to poke holes in things.

A color printer (or you can go to the store and buy paper that looks like wood, but that can get expensive)

Free stock photos and/or digital download scrap book papers. I got the floor of my set from as a digital download from an Etsy seller, and everything else was a free stock photo.

Paint brushes. You’ll need a large one for modge podge, and a couple smaller ones for the paint. Make sure you don’t like the large paint brush because it will get ruined. Even if you wash it.

A ruler.

A dark permanent marker

Something sharp to poke a hole into the tacky glue lid. And keep poking a hole in it because it WILL glue itself shut.

First off, you need the walls and floor, or else you will have no house. Unless you have really large boxes and are able to cut an entire wall from one card board piece, you will need to duck tape a couple pieces of cardboard together in order to make a wall. You’ll need two side walls, a floor and a back wall. I didn’t take measurements of my walls and floor because I was generally just trying to work with what cardboard I had.

Double check and make sure your walls are tall enough for your AG, preferably a couple inches higher. If you’re planning to put specific furniture into your set, make sure it fits in comfortably!! I checked the floor space with an AG bed I had on hand.

Make sure the walls are sturdy. I promise that you’re wasting less ducktape by wrapping it around a couple times, then you would be if you needed to fix your set everytime you wanted to use it. Make sure you can move it, and walk past it without it coming undone and dying.

One of my favorite things about my set is that I made it so it can fold in on itself. I do not have a lot of space for sets, so the fact that I can fold it up when I’m done is great (not to mention means that I can have more than one set). Now that you have your walls, it’s time to poke some holes with your sharp pencil.

This is me attaching the floor and the back wall. I marked out how many inches across the two pieces of cardboard were, and then from that I decided where to poke my holes. You can eyeball this, but that makes me anxious. Don’t poke your holes to close to the edge, or else the cardboard might rip (not fun). You’ll want to do the same with your two side walls, although you will be attaching the side walls to the back wall, not the floor.

After you poke all your holes, you’ll want to string the walls together with yarn or twine. Make sure it’s tight enough that the walls stand on their own without flopping, but loose enough so that it doesn’t tear the cardboard, and you can fold it up with ease. I left a generous amount of string left with each “hinge” in case I ever need to tinker with it, and I just tied each “hinge” with a double knotted bow.

Thus began my long relationship with modge podge. You’ll need to modge podge the wallpaper and flooring to the card board, which is very time consuming and boring, so make sure you have something to watch. Be sure what you’re using is of a heavier weight than printer paper, or it will wrinkle. And tear. And then you will cry. Don’t be overly concerned with white spots, or small places where the cardboard shows, because you can go over those later with paint.

**BE SURE YOUR PATTERNS LINE UP OR YOU WILL CRY**

Wow!! The modge podge is done!! That only took a week!! As you can see, I added some texture and touched things up with paint. (The popsicle sticks are not supposed to be there, long story)

Now for my other favorite part, the windows.

I wanted to be able to change the scene in my windows, so I used clear sheet protectors!! I cut it to be roughly 9in x 9in. Make sure you don’t accidentally glue the sheet protectors shut. That wouldn’t be fun. I made the window frame out of singular wood planks from the photo I used for the floor, and I glued each one to thick cardboard.

You’ll want to tacky glue the window frame together, and then to the wall. BE SURE NOT TO GLUE THE WINDOW SHUT WHILE DOING THIS!!!

For the background, I just found a scene on Google and glued to to a cereal box weight cardboard, before sliding it into the sheet protector.

That should lead you to having a really cool house for your dolls!! I can’t wait to fill this one with furniture. For reading (or scrolling past this long post) have a picture of my cat interfering:

#long post #american girl doll #ag #ag dolls #diy #dollblr #tutorial #dollhouse #addy Walker #pleasant company #dolls

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sensei-aishitemasu · 3 years

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2020 Black-Owned Gift Guide!

It’s that time again! Our SIXTH ANNUAL BLACK-OWNED GIFT GUIDE IS HERE!!!! This Black Friday, try and support a Black-owned business for all your gift-giving needs. For last years gift guide, click here. For the 2018 gift guide, click here. For the 2017 gift guide, click here. For the 2016 gift guide, click here. For the 2015 gift guide, click here.

Similar to previous lists, I kept every individual item listed under $100! Click on the links to be taken to the websites in order to peruse more yourselves: all businesses listed are Black-owned, and many are run by Black women, Black Americans specifically, manufactured here in the United States, and/or sustainably and ethically sourced with philanthropic causes attached to sales! Check them out.

In addition, this year there are THREE NEW CATEGORIES! Check out items for the ‘Goth/Kawaii,’ for your ‘Activist Bae,’ and for the ‘Esoteric’ down below.

[As always, this guide has been split into categories to make it easier to get through, but feel free to mix and match for the person in your life that fits all of (or none of!) these categories!]

For the Homebody:

Lettie Gooch Small Safety Matches, $18 Lettie Gooch Amber & Moss Soy Candle, $20 Lettie Gooch White Concrete White Tea & Ginger Candle, $28 Lettie Gooch Planetarium Throw Blanket, $68 Lettie Gooch Soleil Throw Blanket, $68

Debra Cartwright ‘Bike’ Watercolor Print, $38 Debra Cartwright ‘Aura’ Watercolor Print, $87 Debra Cartwright ‘Astro Millennial Ladies in Quarantine’ Coloring Book, $5

Harlem Candle Company ‘Brownstone’ Luxury Candle, $45 Harlem Candle Company ‘Lenox’ Luxury Room Spray, $30 Harlem Candle Company ‘Langston’ Luxury Room Spray, $30

Jungalow Genie Vase, $89 Jungalow Handwoven Peach Planter, $49 Jungalow Azul Face Pillow by Justina Blakeney X Loloi, $89 Jungalow Soft Mint Pillow, $89 Jungalow Aja Wallpaper in Green by Justina Blakeney, $5 (per sheet) Jungalow Tigris Wallpaper in Onyx by Justina Blakeney, $5 (per sheet) Jungalow Cream Looped Wool Rug, $99.00 Jungalow Silvia Teal & Berry Rug by Justina Blakeney X Loloi, $69.00 Jungalow Striped Orange Outdoor Rug, $59.00 Jungalow Reindeer Games Hook Pillow by Justina Blakeney, $60.00 Jungalow Peace Vase by Justina Blakeney, $68.00

Kashmir Viii ‘S is for Soul’ Print, $35-$45

Galerie LA Rooted Incense Holder, $45

Duchess365 358 Art Print, $23.99

Jeff Manning Art ‘Aplomb’ Art Print, $45 Jeff Manning Art ‘Pacific’ Art Print, $30

Kicky Mats ‘Get Naked’ Bath Mat, $30 Kicky Mats ‘Did You Wash Your Hands?’ Doormat, $50 Kicky Mats ‘Go Away, Come Back With Wine’ Doormat, $50 Kicky Mats ‘Did You Call First?’ Doormat, $50

228 Grant Street Candle Co. Tobacco + Patchouli Gold Travel Tin, $11 228 Grant Street Candle Co. Wild Blackberry + Absinthe Amber Jar, $21 228 Grant Street Candle Co. Oakmoss + Amber Apothecary Jar, $32

Shea Makery Strawberry Cheesecake Signature Candle, $40 Shea Makery Cinna-Bowl Signature Candle, $40

The Silver Room Cider and Cedar Leaf Candle, $34 The Silver Room Rose Water & Tea Leaves Diffuser, $28 The Silver Room Minnie Ripperton - Les Fleur Vinyl, $26

Rituals + Ceremony Anonomy Sculptures, $79 Rituals + Ceremony USB Travel Ultrasonic Essential Oil Diffuser, $25

Handcrafted Ceramic Watering Cans, $64

Fill More Waste Less Natural Loofah Sponge, $2.50 Fill More Waste Less Food Huggers, $12. 99

Ment Nelson Backwoods Baptism Print, $50 Ment Nelson Old Sheldon Print, $40

Quarantine Games!

Trading Races, $19.99

Winsults, $25

Cards For All People - Black Card Revoked (First Edition), $17.99

Trap Wars - The Urban Game Night Experience, $22.99

Lyrically Correct 90's & 2000's Hip Hop/R&B Edition, $24.99

Black Wall Street - The Black History Board Game, $49.99

Pull Your Card Music Trivia: Hip Hop Edition, $14.99

Spill It Card Game, $23

'Verified' A Party Game for Social Media Lovers (Original Edition), $19.99

For the Foodie:

Kashmir Viii ‘The Black Power’ Mixtape Coasters, $40 Kashmir Viii ‘Reclaim It’ Mug, $16 Kashmir Viii ‘I Slay.’ Clutch, $45

Galerie LA Peak and Valley Balance Blend, $30

‘The Cooking Gene,’ by Michael W. Twitty, $28.99

‘From Crook to Cook: Platinum Recipes From the Boss Dog’s Kitchen’ by Snoop Dogg, $24.95

Essie Spice Signature Sauce Collection, $42

‘Your Guide to Tasteful Manners’ with Love Cork Screw, $19.95

‘Deliciously Vegan’ Cookbook by The Chic Natural, $28.95

EAT Apron, $30

Midnight Reflections Crowned White Ceramic Mug, $19.99

The Spice Suite Utensils + Oven Mitts, $50 The Spice Suite ‘The Little Black Spice Book’ (E-book), $30

Rituals + Ceremony Circle Mug, $40 Rituals + Ceremony Agate 6pc Plate Set, $24

Blk + Grn Stainless Steel Tea Ball Infuser, $4

Fill More Waste Less Reusable Tea Strainer, $14.99

Good Thoughts Tea Co. Tea Spoon Set, $12

KazvareMadeIt Personalised Alphabet Mug Tile Print, $20.99 KazvareMadeIt Banananana Cushion, $55.80

Addie Rawr ‘Addie's Cocktail Collection’ (Cards & Prints), $3.75

For the Beauty Guru:

Lettie Gooch Blends Perfume: Earth, $30 Lettie Gooch Bloom Perfume Blend No. 586, $48

Galerie LA Hand Sanitizer, $10 Galerie LA Cream Cleanser, $16 Galerie LA Citrine Sea Tropical Exfoliator, $18 Galerie LA Botanica Rose Roller, $14 Galerie LA Botanica Lavender Roller, $14 Galerie LA Aurora Superfood Elixer (Face Serum), $27 Galerie LA Jade Eye Mask, $44 Galerie LA Rose Quartz Facial Roller, $28.00

Shea Makery Scar Healing Serum, $23 Shea Makery Cinnamon Bun Body Butter, $25 Shea Makery Glazed Donut Body Butter, $25 Shea Makery Milk + Honey + Syrup Bubble Bath, $22 Shea Makery Honeycomb Bath Set, $16

The Lip Bar Cheek and Eye Palette, $15 The Lip Bar ‘Goddess’ Lipgloss, $14 The Lip Bar ‘Bawse Lady’ Liquid Matte Lipstick, $13 The Lip Bar ‘4:00 Stuntin' Fast Face Kit,’ $99 The Lip Bar Limited Edition Easy Holiday Glam Collection, $25 The Lip Bar ‘Lip Bar Littles,’ $18.99 The Lip Bar Minimalist Lovers Bundle, $36

Auda B. Beauty Soy Polish Remover, $26

Breukelen Polished ‘Paid and Full,’ $11 Breukelen Polished ‘Get Me Right’ Treatment Set, $25

Beauty Bakerie ‘Milk & Honey’ Highlighting Brush, $18 Beauty Bakerie ‘Coffee and Cocoa’ Bronzer Palette, $38 Beauty Bakerie ‘Black Egg-cellence’ Beauty Sponges, $18 Beauty Bakerie ‘Sugar Cookies’ Palette, $28 Beauty Bakerie ‘The Butter’ Hydrasilk Primer, $24

Mented Mini Brush Trio, $10 Mented Everyday Eyeshadow Palette, $28 Mented Brush Collection, $45 Mented Holiday Faves Trio, $50

Blac Minerals Highlight Bundle, $32

Danessa Myricks Beauty Oil, $30 Danessa Myricks Waterproof Cream Palettes, $36 Danessa Myricks Luxe Cream Palettes ‘The Nudist,’ $44

Pear Nova ‘Holiday Essentials’ Nail Set, $90

Habit Cosmetics Nail Polish in Voodoo, $18 Habit Cosmetics Nail Polish in Midnight Cowboy, $18 Habit Cosmetics Nail Polish in Black Orpheus, $18 Habit Cosmetics Nail Polish in Scarab, $18

Hunny Bunny Cuticle Cream, $4.50 Hunny Bunny Grapefruit Sugar Scrub, $20

Taupe Coat in Good Fortune, $11

More Brands To Try:

People of Color Beauty

Mischo Beauty

Suite Eleven

Brown Butter Beauty

Beija Flor Naturals

Plain Jane Beauty

Ancient Cosmetics

Hue Noir

Lotus Moon Skincare

For the Fashion Conscious:

Merit ‘Fate’ Bucket Hat, $20

Chris Cardi Signature TwistDYE Tee, $33

Lettie Gooch Black Mineral Washed Jacquard Leggings, $68 Lettie Gooch ‘Smiling On The Inside’ Mask, $28

Kashmir Viii Face Masks, $16 Kashmir Viii ‘Around The Way Girl’ Clutch, $45-$60

Galerie LA Hemp Tie Button Down Sage, $90 Galerie LA Gratia Jumpsuit Tumeric, $100 Galerie LA Red Zipper Wallet, $45 Galerie LA Dopp Kitt (Makeup Bag) in Navy, $40 Galerie LA Lunar Star Earrings, $100 Galerie LA Meria Sunglasses Coral Pink, $75 Galerie LA Oda Ring, $45 Galerie LA Sabbath Cocoon Tunic, $85

Tree Fairfax Keychain, $22.50 Tree Fairfax Lois Belt, $45

LoveCortnie Polka Dot Leather Key Chain Clasps, $15 LoveCortnie Small Leather Tassel, $17 LoveCortnie ‘Color Me’ Coin Purse, $30 LoveCortnie Envelope Card Holder (Black & White), $32

Rue 107 ‘Toni’ Bikini in XOXO Print, $98 Rue 107 Signature Pencil Skirt in XOXO Print, $68 Rue 107 Tied Cropped Tank in XOXO Print, $48 Rue 107 Tied Cropped Tank in Vintage Rose Print, $48 Rue 107 Signature Pencil Skirt in Vintage Rose Print, $68

Grant Blvd ‘Sustainable Shit Only’ Fanny Pack, $26

Ebony and Green Mindfulness Earrings, $10

For the Bookworm:

‘Daymares’ by Kenya Moss-Dyme, $12.99

‘Hood Feminism’ by Mikki Kendall, $26

‘The Source of Self-Regard’ by Toni Morrison, $28.95

‘Tar Baby’ by Toni Morrison, $15

‘The Beautiful Ones’ by Prince, $30

‘In Her Hands: The Story of Sculptor Augusta Savage’ by Alan Schroeder, $12.95

‘The Street: A Novel’ by Ann Petry, $15.99

‘Chasing Down a Dream: A Blessings Novel’ by Beverly Jenkins, $14.99

‘Rebel (Women Who Dare)’ by Beverly Jenkins, $5.98

‘Night Song’ by Beverly Jenkins, $8.99

‘Tempest’ by Beverly Jenkins, $5.98

‘Our Black Year: One Family's Quest to Buy Black in America's Racially Divided Economy’ by Maggie Anderson, $17

Rayo and Honey ‘Books Change Your Mind’ Pennant, $75

Jungalow Face Bookend Vase by Justina Blakeney, $98

Midnight Reflections Black Nerd Tote Bag, $18.99

Addie Rawr Book Club Dolls Stickers (Die Cut Stickers), $9.50

For the Kids:

Jungalow Leela Terracotta Rug by Justina Blakeney X Loloi, $89.00 Jungalow Pink Looped Wool Rug, $99.00

Galerie LA Kids Face Mask, $25

Duchess365 237 Canvas Print, $98.99 Duchess365 231 Tote Bag, $24.99 Duchess365 279 Art Print, $23.99 Duchess365 241 Framed Art Print, $47.99

Shea Makery PB & J Soap, $10 Shea Makery ‘Save A Life’ Mini Assorted Hand Soaps (Set of 12), $5

Little Leaders: Bold Women in Black History, $16.99

‘Clean Getaway’ by Nic Stone, $16.99

‘Bee Fearless: Dream Like a Kid’ by Mikaela Ulmer, $16.19

ABC Me Flashcards, $20

IkdKids Rag Doll, $40

KaAn’s ‘Living The Dream’ Denim Jacket, $40

Yinibini Baby Badminton Playing Octopus Tee, $23 Yinibini Baby Fox Pullover Sweatshirt Jogger Set, $41 Yinibini Baby ROAR Lion Hooded Pullover, $45 Yinibini Narwhal Toy, $28

For the Masculine:

ALWD Signature DC PROPER Sweatshirt, $40

Chris Cardi ‘Bastards’ Tee, $30.03

Merit Flannel Shirt (Green), $65

Kashmir Viii ‘Everybody Eats, B,’ Tee, $45 Kashmir Viii ‘The Knockout’ Tee, $45

Galerie LA ‘Mister’ T-Shirt, $45

Jeff Manning Art ‘Overflow’ Art Print, $30 Jeff Manning Art ‘The Golden Age’ Art Print, $45 Jeff Manning Art ‘Overflowed Emotions’ Art Print, $50

Levi Fisher Beard Bundle, $39.99

Scotch Porter Face Care Collection, $28.99 Scotch Porter Journal, $9.99

Shea Makery Beard Oil, $15

Enbois Matte Lava Rock Bracelet, $40 Enbois Benji Matte Sunglasses, $45 Enbois Bracelets Collection - Cocoa, $50

The Silver Room Tourer Backpack, $95

Urban Profile Black Panther Shirt, $24.99

Solo Noir Starter Kit, $28.99

Bevel Shave Starter Bundle, $89.95 Bevel Skin Starter Set, $61.95

For the Tech Savvy:

Enbois iPhone Case, $12 Enbois Power Bank, $15 Enbois Grip Socket, $4

Chic Geeks Brown Faux Crocodile iPad Case, $75 Chic Geeks Brown Snakeskin iPad Case, $75 Chic Geeks Emerald Faux Crocodile iPhone Case, $50 Chic Geeks Grey Marble MacBook Case, $80 Chic Geeks Black Faux Crocodile iPad Case, $75

Khristian A. Howell Cava Melon Sleek and Chic Phone Case, $39.99 Khristian A. Howell Cava Black Sleek and Chic Phone Case, $39.99

NSPRE ‘Inferno’ Bluetooth Sunglasses, $71.99 NSPRE Micro SD Card (128GB), $21.98 NSPRE ‘The Ombres’ Bluetooth Audio Sunglasses, $59.99 NSPRE ‘The Solars’ Bluetooth BlueTech Glasses, $59.99

For the Goth/Kawaii:

VickiBeWicked Vinyl Sticker Heart Drippy Mushroom, Laptop Decal, $4 VickiBeWicked Rainbow Unicorn, Black Girl Magic Laptop Sleeve, $30.99 VickiBeWicked AfroGirls Masked Up Laptop Sleeve, $30.99 VickiBeWicked Pastel Horn Face Resin Keychain, $12.99 VickiBeWicked Red and White Splatter Skull Dangle Earrings, $7.50

Kashmir Viii ‘The KeKe’ Print, $35-$60

Adorned by Chi ‘Goth Club Presidenct’ Unisex Raglan T-Shirt, $34.99 Adorned by Chi ‘Pro Black’ Unisex Raglan T-Shirt, $34.99 Adorned by Chi ‘Pretty Girls Like Anime’ T-Shirt, $32.99 Adorned by Chi ‘Awkward’ Iron-On Patch, $11.99 Adorned by Chi ‘I Need My Space’ Hard Enamel Pin, $12.99

The Colour Polka Dot iPhone XS ‘Creepy Cute’ Rainbow Phone Case, $40 The Colour Polka Dot ‘Creepy Cute’ Spoopy Ornaments, $12 The Colour Polka Dot ‘Kawaii Cute’ Face Mask Case, $16

Embrii Shop Blush Pink Laptop Sleeve, $36

Gothic Lamb Anti Social Goth Club Tee, $28 Gothic Lamb ‘FedUp’ Tee, $24 Gothic Lamb ‘Make America Goth Again’ Tee, $28 Gothic Lamb ‘Melanin Manson’ Tee, $24

For the Esoteric:

Behati Life Third Eye Vision And Prophetic Dreams Intention Oil, $22 Behati Life New Moon Bath Soak Herbal Mix, $22 Behati Life Lunar Goddess Moon Magick Intention Oil, $22

Lettie Gooch Ecuadorian Palo Santo Quartz Crystal Bundle, $18

Jungalow Chaya Wallpaper in Amethyst by Justina Blakeney, $5

The Silver Room White Sage Bundle, $6

Grandma Baby's Black Gold Lenormand Tarot Deck, $44

Pretty Spirits ‘The Truth’ Decks, $50

The Afro Tarot, $88

The Hoodoo Tarot: 78-Card Deck and Book for Rootworkers by Tayannah Lee McQuillar, $18.66

‘Rootwork: Using the Folk Magick of Black America for Love, Money and Success’ by Tayannah Lee McQuillar, $11.99

Rituals + Ceremony Palo Santo Pack, $7 Rituals + Ceremony Empowered Vibes Ceramic Incense Holder, $10 Rituals + Ceremony Adinkra Intention Candles, $23 Rituals + Ceremony Cleanse and Protect Ritual Kit, $34 Rituals + Ceremony Crystal Candles, $22 Rituals + Ceremony Crystal Bliss: Attract Love, Feed Your Spirit, Manifest Your Dreams Book, $14.99

Ebony and Green Raw Clear Quartz Earrings, $15

For Your Activist Bae:

Kashmir Viii ‘Kash’s Bacon Shack’ Clutch, $45 Kashmir Viii ‘Copy and Paste’ Tee, $45 Kasmir Viii ‘We Did It First’ Stickers, $5.25-$20 Kashmir Viii ‘Reclaim It’ Clock, $45 Kashmir Viii ‘The Black Family’ Tee, $45

Jeff Manning Art ‘MLK’ Art Print, $35 Jeff Manning Art ‘We Shall Prevail’ Art Print, $45

‘The Spook Who Sat By The Door’ by Sam Greenlee, $21.99 ‘The Black Panthers Speak,’ $20 The Black Power Mixtape: 1967-1975, $22.95 A Beautiful Ghetto by Devin Allen, $26.95 ‘Are Prisons Obsolete?’ by Angela Davis, $15.95

Angela Davis T-Shirt, $25

Legendary Rootz ‘Black Girls Are The Purest Form of Art’ Tee, $25

Alex Carter ‘BLACK BUSINESS OWNERSHIP’ Tee, $50

Rayo and Honey ‘Much To Be Done & Undone’ Pennant, $75 Rayo and Honey ‘Black Lives Matter’ Pennant, $75 Rayo and Honey ‘Joy Is An Act Of Resistance’ Tote Bag, $65

‘They Carried Us: The Social Impact of Philadelphia’s Black Women Leaders’ by Allener M. Baker-Rogers & Fasaha M. Traylor, $ 28.99

Midnight Reflections Black Radical Woman Tank, $25.00

The Colour Polka Dot ‘Fuck Racism’ Resin Heart Keychain, $8

Rituals + Ceremony Be The Change Scented Candle, $24

Grant Blvd ‘Disrupter’ Tee, $30 Grant Blvd ‘End Cash Bail’ Hoodie, $54

Cards, Notebooks and Wrapping Paper + Holiday Ornaments:

VickiBeWicked ‘Skull Santa’ and Candy Cane Greeting Cards, $2

Harlem Candle Company Set of 10 Vintage Nightclub Greeting Cards, $30

Kashmir Viii ‘Nina En Printemps’ (Nina Simone) Notebook, $14 Kashmir Viii ‘Boo Yow!’ Notebook, $14

Midnight Reflections Wrapping Paper 3-pack, $26.97

Midnight Reflections Claus Ceramic Ornaments, $15.99

Midnight Reflections Emoji Black Santa Christmas Stockings, $24.99

Bylianarae Note Cards, $15

KazvareMadeIt Rap Lines Inspirational Coloring Book, $18.20 KazvareMadeIt Lemonade Notebook, $18.20 KazvareMadeIt Fried Egg Wallpaper, $4.88 KazvareMadeIt Diamond Retro Wrapping Paper, $4.88

Khristian A. Howell ‘Speak To Me’ Wallpaper, $12 (sample pack) Khristian A. Howell ‘Palm Springs’ Gift Wrap, $8.99 Khristian A. Howell ‘Sonar’ Gift Wrap, $8.99 Khristian A. Howell ‘Twinkle’ Gift Wrap, $8.99 Khristian A. Howell ‘Ansley Park’ Gift Wrap, $8.99 Khristian A. Howell ‘Rosy’ Holiday Gift Wrap, $8.99 Khristian A. Howell ‘Long Weekend’ Gift Wrap, $8.99 Khristian A. Howell ‘Bonjour’ Card Set (10 pk), $18

GreenTop Gifts ‘Clarence Claus’ HOHOHO Gift Wrap, $7.50 GreenTop Gifts ‘Clarence Claus’ Do Not Open Gift Wrap, $7.50 GreenTop Gifts ‘Clarence Claus’ Candy Canes and Trees Gift Wrap, $7.50

Addie Rawr 2021 Planners (Preorder), $30 Addie Rawr The Great Gratitude Journal, $20 Addie Rawr The Great Gratitude Journal, $20

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