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writing-rat · 10 months

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Used Farmhand

Pairings: Lorraine Day x AFAB Reader

Content Warning: 18+ Content, G!P Lorraine Day, Werewolf Alpha Lorraine, Lorraine has a penis, Vaginal Sex, Knotting, Mating, Maybe OOC, Blowjob, Handjob

Summary: You are working when Lorraine is in heat. That's when she decides to use the farmhand... you.

Word count: 1409

It was a sunny day on the Day Farm considering it was Spring. The mother and father you worked for had gone out to a farmer’s market, leaving Lorraine to keep you in check and they also knew she would enter heat soon. They were interesting people, and you never had actually seen an alpha look so submissive. She was shy and skinny, she was way too vulnerable to be an alpha. Alas you didn’t question it as your omega seemed to jump in joy when her dad said she might enter heat whike you were there.

That is exactly what happened. You was at the barn, putting old, rotten hay into one pile while the clean, fresh hay was in another pile. You was distinctly aware of another person’s scent coming towards you but you thought it was just RJ, Lorraine’s friend who was an omega. You sighed. “What d’you want RJ?” You called out, expecting a response from the weak man (more like boy). The response surprised you however. It was a growl, and you felt yourself tense up as you gulped, hearing the noise get closer. “Lorraine?” you asked before turning around, where you saw the alpha standing there, looking you up and down. Your stomach tightened as you watched her and knew you were cornered. “Hey alpha,” you spoke casually, trying to not glance down. She was wearing her usual colourful top and the red jeans that showed her dick off. You realised you was staring as your quickly looked up again. She was spreading pheromones around the barn. This was sending your own omega in heat, causing you to whimper.

“Need to breed,” she finally talked, her voice a notch higher. You blushed, realising she was the one in control. She was just submissive to everything except in bed it seemed. “Need to breed you,” she specified as she was looking you up and down and licked her lips.

“Y-you do?” you stuttered out, trying to restrain your heat, but it was impossible with every step she did to get closer.

“Yes,” she growled out then quickly pounced on you and pinned you against the wall as she was dry humping you. “I know how you feel. You stare at me constantly when I’m around until I catch you. You even look at me when I’m just swimming in the lake,” she explained, grunting as she humped. You whimpered in response and nodded, letting yourself just relax.

“Yes alpha,” you responded as you was trying to yank your tanktop off. Lorraine took it in her hands however. She ripped it off instead including your bra before she was biting your neck and shoulder.

“I’m going to treasure you omega,” she explained. “I will mark you with bites all over. I will mate bite you. You will hold my litter and we will have a family,” she grunted out. You knew the alpha was in control then as you nodded.

“Yes alpha, fill me with your pups,” you moaned out, as you felt her bulge against your thigh, still as ever. She smirked before she started to yank down your shorts, drool slipping down her mouth as she ripped off your panties.

“You don’t know how long I imagined this,” she hummed out. You gulped and nodded as you let her speak, her starting to also strip down. First her top, revealing no bra, then her jeans that had on some loose boxers. “I wanted you so bad for months,” she added on. “Jacked off about you, wanted you to suck me off and stroke me as well as taking my knot inside you. You are going to do all of that, in order,” she commanded. Nodding, you glanced down and saw it twitch. You was shyly pushed into your knees then. It slowly seemed like Lorraine took control over her wolf inside her. Slowly, you licked from her tip to her balls while making eye contact. She was moaning as she grasped at your hair gently, before you took it in your mouth and closed your eyes as you was bobbing your head up and down on it. You used your tongue whenever possible as soft moans slipped out of her mouth as she gripped tighter.

Slowly, you started to also massage her balls, seeing that she also liked it as she was humping your mouth. You gagged every now and then but allowed it to happen as you kept sucking, licking and massaging. She was soon gripping harder and was panting. “Close,” Lorraine whimpered out, to which you was nodding as you kept sucking. She couldn’t help it after a minute as she came inside your mouth. Quickly you swallowed as you was pulling out, using your hand to stroke her like she wanted. You looked up at her, as you was soaking wet and fingering yourself. Lorraine was looking down at you with lust still but hesitance.

“Have your way with me when you ravage me,” you spoke, stroking faster. She started to nod as she was humping into her hand at the same pace as your fingers. You bit your lip harder as you soon went faster than ever, to test if she was. She was as she humped faster, but went harder. That’s when she suddenly came all over your face with a smirk.

“Always wanted to paint your face,” she smirked out and gripped at your hair as you looked up. You was bright red as she admitted that. “Now, on all fours, ass facing towards me,” Lorraine commanded, getting more confident again. Obeying, you did as told as you stopped fingering yourself. She licked her lips at seeing you drip all over the floor. “Making such a mess in the hay just like the dirty slut you are,” she degraded. You gasped when you felt her hand strike your ass as you widened your eyes. It didn’t stop the arousal coming out. “So you like being slapped huh slut?” Lorraine spoke, before she suddenly pressed you into a mating press, her inside you immediately. You gasped at the sudden pleasure. “Something else will be hitting you now,” she spoke casually as she held your hips. You was nodding.

“Please alpha, fuck me already,” you moaned out loudly. You didn’t care if the Day’s came back, you just needed her to fuck you. She was nodding as she was ruthlessly pounding into you then. You panted as you was loving every single thrust she did, even if it hurt a lot at first. She was getting more and more confident as she used you and smirked while doing so. She was panting against your ear as she held you closer, soon biting your shoulder and neck, marking you. You blushed heavily as you knew you were mated for life now, but you loved the idea of that. Truth be told you had fallen for the girl, and you was sure the Day’s knew hence why they had you over during her heat this time. They usually made you have a week break. Soon you felt close as you was whimpering and whining. “Need to cum,” you moaned out.

“Go on omega. Come for me,” Lorraine panted out as she held you harder and pressed closer against you before you came all over her dick. Feeling you orgasm made her also cum inside you as she was thrusting a few times before she knotted you, releasing more cum. She was panting against your ear as she was catching her breath, feeling better than before.

“Thank you for accepting me,” she then spoke gently. You nodded.

“I have had feelings for you for months by now. I’m glad the Day’s didn’t keep me away this time,” you spoke with a smile.

“It’s because I told them I wanted to be mated to you. They allowed it as you are a great worker,” she spoke. You blinked in shock then nodded.

“I’m glad you wanted me here,” you spoke before leaning against her more. She was nodding as she held you even closer.

Soon the knot was down and she pulled out. “I’ll get you some new clothes. The parents aren’t back yet so come with me,” she spoke.

“For a second round?” You responded.

“You caught me,” Lorraine replied then picked you up immediately as she smirked. “Now, let’s go. Quit dillydallying,” she added on. You was nodding, holding her closer.

#lorraine day x reader #lorraine day #ratboy writes #ratboy writing #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x reader smut

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cherrychilli · 4 months

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18+

Steve Harrington x AFAB reader, lots of shameless teasing by reader, slight exhibitionism, allusions to sex, teeniest tiniest smidge of perv! Steve

A/N: Inspired by the only scene of Cool Hand Luke I've seen. And that one short scene from Elvira: Mistress of the Dark. Just wanted to write something fun and a lil bit silly.

"C'mon sugar, chop chop - 's not gonna clean itself", he sing songs from the driver's seat of the BMW where he's been toying with the radio, scratchy static fading into a chorus of Scorpions' No one like you when he tunes into a station that suits his liking.

On a regular day a quip like that would have had you pinching one of his triceps, twisting the skin until he crumbled to his knees with a litany of pleas and apologies tumbling past his lips. But today was different because you both knew he was exempted from any retaliation. And boy, was he enjoying it.

Steve had been like this all morning, painfully smug, grin stretched Cheshire cat wide ever since you'd come over to make good on the card game you'd lost the night before.

It began as a casual game of poker over a few beers to make the lazy evening more interesting. You never played for much. The white chips were always worth 25 cents, the reds 50 cents and the greens were a dollar but he had you perking up when he suggested sweetening the pot that night.

"Oh yeah? what do you have in mind?", you'd asked this with subdued interest, munching down another mouthful of sea salt and vinegar chips, half expecting him to float the idea of strip poker as influenced by your viewing of The Wanderers earlier that night.

It wasn't unlike Steve to suggest something like that after he's had a few drinks and it wasn't unlike you to happily go along with whatever he's proposed after you've had a few drinks of your own. The two of you made quite a pair that way.

The last time it was skinny dipping down at Lovers Lake. A shared bottle of Gin bore the blame for the idea but by some miracle of intervention (or was it interruption?) Jim Hopper happened to be cruising by to put a stop to it before things could go any further. Nothing like the fuzz rolling up on you in your underwear to dampen the mood.

But last evening didn't take that kind of a turn and you didn't have to sit there cursing yourself for not having the foresight to wear sexier underwear for very long.

This time you laid blame on the beers and that one swig of sickeningly saccharine Pineapple Schnapps left over from a party the week before for impacting your judgement, agreeing to raise the stakes to include the winner getting to delegate their weekend chores to the loser.

Steve went all in, chips tossed into the middle of his mother's new and perfectly lacquered walnut table, too buzzed and wound up in the competitive tension in the room to worry about accidentally scuffing it.

You considered your cards for a few short seconds, poker face perfectly unreadable. A full house, Queens over Jacks sat burning hot in your hands, making you call, pushing your chips over into the pile with more care than Steve had shown his own.

For a moment, you thought you had it and he let you think as much, his pink lips drooping into a frown with his head bowed, hand carding through his hair to mimic defeat when you slid your cards over.

But the thrill of not having to spend half the day mowing your lawn and weeding the garden was extinguished after three glorious seconds. He placed his cards down quietly though when you read them, the impact felt more like a gavel coming down, sentencing you to a day of doing his bidding.

Four of a kind. Kings.

Shit.

The Schnapps and the beer picked that moment to start sparring in your belly, adding to the bitter flavor of defeat washing over your tongue like an oil spill.

And then came that smirk which hasn't left his lips since. "I'll see you in my driveway tomorrow bright and early, sunshine", he winked at you in that way that had you torn between wanting to flip his mother's stupid table and climbing over it to kiss her stupid smarmy son.

And now here you were, greeted by the same insufferable smirk as you trudged up to his driveway on a Saturday morning to wash his car, hangover thankfully averted and with a fresh outlook on the situation since sobering up. He doesn't know it yet but you're not as sore about the loss as you seem.

Strangely, you had Steve's porno collection to thank for that.

You figured him to be kind of guy who preferred a dirty VHS over the classic skin mag especially now that he had an employee discount to abuse but a few months ago you'd found out that you'd guessed wrong.

You hadn't let on about the time you went looking to borrow a pair of spare socks one nippy evening from one of his drawers and found a busty, definitely not a licensed nurse despite the uniform, smoldering back at you instead.

Unearthing the magazine from beneath the pile of tube socks it'd been partially shoved under, you quietly acquainted yourself with the ladies of Genesis Magazine's Girls/Girls Fall 1987 issue. Recalling one page that had been dog eared, you learned the nurse had friends who liked to get naked and soaked when it came time to hose down their cherry red Chevy Camaro.

Suddenly, having you out in the sweltering heat, working up a sweat and scrubbing down his beamer while he watched didn't seem like innocent happenstance anymore. In fact the whole thing made you feel a little inspired.

So you thought to yourself, why not have a little fun?

Granted, you weren't planning on losing your top and straddling the hood like the redhead on page seven. Not in Steve's white picket fence neighborhood of all places, but you did still have something less than savory in mind.

He didn't even suspect anything when you asked to go change into something more comfortable to hose down his precious car, your jeans already feeling more than a little uncomfortable since you'd left your house in this heat.

Another perfectly cloudless azure sky hung over the neighborhood. Too sunny and muggy and at that hour of the morning where everyone else was still inside. Some slept in because it was Saturday while others slept off their Friday night. Those who were awake were already in their pools or in the kitchen, cracking ice cubes out of trays into big, dewy glasses of lemonade, intermittently sipping and holding the chilly glass up to soothe their sweaty temples.

If the heat bothered Steve he didn't show it, one hand resting on the steering wheel, fingers tapping along to the radio awaiting your return. He'd been looking forward to this all night since his winning hand and nothing could sour his anticipation now.

But he couldn't have anticipated what he saw when he catches sight of you through the rear view mirror, his fingers fumbling, losing his composure quicker than if he'd slipped on ice.

You strolled out like something ripped out of one of his wet dreams, shoes swapped for flip flops, snug denim cut offs replacing your jeans, white tee instead of the teal blue you'd shown up in and hips swaying.

His mouth was agape as you walked up to him. "What are you up to?", he spoke in a voice thick with suspicion, stare heavy and darting all over you like there was too much or you on display and not nearly enough at the same time.

"I'm washing your car like you we agreed. Changed your mind?", you challenged him with a hand on your hip, eyes narrowed into a look as sharp as a knife's edge, daring him to question you again.

"No..."

"Alright then", you eased into a smile, more roguish than your usual chaste, bumping your hip against the driver's side door which up until now had been ajar, closing Steve inside. He lets you do this, something about the new clothes coupled with your 'don't fuck with me' vibe making him feel strangely obedient.

Everything you needed was already left out for you. A bucket, a half full bottle of car wash soap, a sponge and the hose nearby.

You start with the hose first, making sure to bend over to pick it up rather than crouch beside it as you turned it on, legs straight, back arched nice and pretty, ass popped out. You didn't spend that extra fifteen minutes stretching at home for nothing!

It's vastly different from all the other times he's stared at your ass. Used to doing it in sneaky glances in the past, Steve can hardly believe the obvious way you flaunt yourself for him now, afraid if you keep it up he might fog up the windshield all on his own.

Running water spouts out the hose and you're not the least bit careful with how you aim the stream into the bucket to fill it up, splashing your thighs and forearms, the sun making your wet skin glow glossy under its rays.

Number 8 on Billboard's top ten singles of the month starts to play on the radio but it goes unheard by Steve over the sound of his own heartbeat thumping in his ears, watching you wrap your fingers around the thick, cylindrical bottle and squeezing it to squirt soap into the bucket.

It's all so calculated and deliberately dirty, even though you try to play it off all innocent. You even plaster on a faux look of surprise when you stand too close to the BMW to rinse it, water splashing back onto your clothes, denim turning dark, white tee turning transparent...

Steve nearly chokes on the saliva pooling in his mouth when he notices that you're not wearing a bra. No swimsuit or even a bikini on underneath. He tears his eyes away long enough to quickly survey the neighborhood and when he doesn't find any of his neighbors in sight he fixes them back on you.

He should stop you, right?

He shouldn't just sit there and watch, right?

It wouldn't be correct to let you parade yourself in front of him like this...

Right?

Turning off the hose, you grasp the sponge and dunk it into the soapy water, pulling it out all sopping and heavy to wring it out over the bucket, purposely holding it close to your chest so the excess water can cascade down your front.

Nothing could have stolen his attention away from the way your tits jiggle in your soaking, skin tight tee as you lean over and put some elbow grease into running the sponge over the hood of his car in soapy circles. Peeking up through your lashes you catch the way his cheeks blend from a subtle mauve to a pretty fuchsia from behind the windshield, deciding you'd like to get a closer look.

He thinks he might flatline when you saunter closer and lean over the side of the hood. Reaching as far as you can to sponge the windshield, you're certain the poor boy's probably straining against his zipper by now as your wet tits press up against the glass.

It's so obvious and indecent. And fun. Getting to dangle yourself in front of Steve like this so unabashedly out here in the open, sticking a pin in that irritating, albeit harmless, cocksure attitude he'd shown you at the start, watching it deflate with a wicked smile.

It was the sweetest torture, watching your body clad in soaked clothes, skin glistening, the contours of your breasts and nipples so evident now that you might as well be topless.

"Can't fucking take this anymore", you hear him mutter when he reaches his limit and exits the car, hand finding your waist to spin you around. He uses the other to snatch the soapy sponge out of your fingers and toss it out of sight, letting it land with a wet plop on the driveway.

"I'm taking you inside", he groans when you lean into him, wet tits pressing against his chest, turning the front of his blue polo a dark navy, thigh grazing his bulge.

"Why?" you ask all coy, not ready to retire the innocent act without batting your lashes at him first, your lips only a breath apart from his.

"Because I don't think they'd let me live here anymore if they came outside and found me bending you over the hood, darling", he replies, a second before his lips come down on yours.

#steve harrington smut #stranger things smut #steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x reader

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everdreamofme · 2 months

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poker games

platonic ! slytherins x reader

another silly little one shot of the Slytherin gang, based off of another episode of Friends!!

Making her way into the Slytherin common room after spending some time in the library, Y/N spotted her two best friends, Pansy and Astoria, in one of the corners. Pansy was carefully painting her nails from her seat on the floor as Astoria occupied one of the couches, reading a magazine.

'Hey bitches,' She said as she flopped onto the armchair behind Pansy.

'Hey babe.'

'Where're the boys?' Y/N asked, her eyes scanning the room, expecting to find her five other best friends but with no luck.

Astoria shrugged. 'Enzo said they were doing something upstairs tonight.'

'Okay, cryptic. Don't you guys want to know what it is they're doing?'

'As long as they're not annoying me, I'm fine with the not knowing.' Pansy spoke, lifting a hand to examine her manicure. Y/N pulled a face.

'Nope, not accepting that. Let's go,' Despite the girls' protests, Y/N dragged them both to the boys dorm and swung the door open. The five boys sat around an oval-shaped table with playing cards in their hands, their eyes darting up to whoever had interrupted them.

'What the hell are you lot doing?' Y/N asked, taking a step into the room, and the two girls followed suit, both now curious too.

'Playing poker.' Theo responded as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. The three girls shared a look of confusion before Astoria spoke.

'Sorry, playing what?'

'Poker. It's a muggle game,' Blaise explained, pushing some plastic pieces into the middle of the table.

Pansy pulled a face at Blaise's response and moved to stand by him. 'You lot are voluntarily playing a muggle game?'

'Fuck! I'm out.' Draco threw his cards onto the table. 'We were, before we were rudely distracted.'

'Draco!' Pansy scolded.

'Well, can we play?' Y/N asked, causing Mattheo to laugh as he picked up all of the cards on the table.

'Absolutley not.'

'And why is that?' She challenged, crossing her arms.

'Because we would have to teach you how to play,' He said, giving her a pointed look. 'And I'd rather not do that.'

The girls all glared at Mattheo in response. Definitely the wrong thing to say.

'Okay. So now, we draw cards.' Enzo explained slowly to the girls, who now sat with them around the oval table. Nodding, the girls studied their cards intensely.

'So, I wouldn't need any, right? 'Cause I have a straight,' Y/N asked, showing her cards to Mattheo, who only clenched his jaw in response. Draco and Theo huffed at Y/N as Pansy and Astoria congratulated her lucky cards.

'Okay, Pans, how many do you want?' Enzo asked, turning the attention to Pansy, who was looking incredulously at the five cards in her hand.

'Okay... I just need two. The ten of spades and the six clubs—'

'No - Pansy, you don't-'

'Oh! I have the ten of spades; here you go!' Astoria interjected, reaching over and passing Pansy one of her cards with a smile on her face. Blaise rubbed his temple when Pansy thanked her and added the card to her hand.

'No, no. Uh, you can't do that, Tori,' He began before she interrupted him.

'Oh no, it's okay! It's okay; I don't need them. I'm going for fours!' Theo and Draco shared a look before finishing their drinks.

'Alright, so at this point-'

'Okay, we got it! Let's play for real.' Pansy interrupted Mattheo, putting her cards in a pile so they could be shuffled and dealt again. Theo raised an eyebrow.

'Are you sure? 'Cause Y/N just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy..'

Y/N scoffed. 'Well, I'm ready now, so just deal!'

The boys rolled their eyes as Mattheo began to shuffle the cards for a new round.

A few hours later, the gang still sat around the table in the boys' dorm, playing their final game of the night.

'Damnit!' Y/N fumed, throwing her cards on the table, having lost yet another game of poker.

'Oh, I see. So then, you were lying.' Astoria accused Blaise, pointing a finger at him as he scooped up the chips with a grin.

'About what?' He asked.

'About how good your cards were.'

'No, Tori, he was bluffing.' Draco explained, beginning to clear the cards away.

'Ah-ha! And what is bluffing? Is it not another word for lying?' Blaise and Theo shared a look before shaking their heads.

'Well, I hate to break up this party, but I am shattered.' Pansy stated as she stood from her chair. A choir of 'oo' broke out as she stood up, causing her to narrow her eyes at the boys. 'What?'

'We need to settle, Pansy.' Mattheo explained, using his wand to lift the objects from the table and back into a trunk.

'Settle what?'

'The game, Pans. You owe us money for the game.' Blaise added, earning a huff from Y/N and Astoria. Enzo made his way over to Pansy and tossed an arm around her shoulders.

'Ah, come on guys, it's their first time. Why don't we just forget about the money?' At this, Pansy scoffed, shoving Enzo's arm from her shoulder.

'Fuck no! We'll pay!'

Astoria sucked in a breath of air. 'Pans, I had another answer all ready.'

'And you know what?' Y/N stood now, pointing her finger in Theo's face. 'We want a rematch!' Theo grinned as Mattheo sniggered.

'Fine by me, I could use some more money.'

'So, basically, you get your kicks from taking money from all of your friends?' Astoria asked the room. Draco pondered this for a moment before breathing a 'yup' and earning a laugh from the other boys.

Making their way back to their dorm, the three girls scoffed as they discussed losing to the boys yet again.

'Can you believe what assholes our friends are?' Pansy asked with a sour face. Y/N nodded.

'Yeah, they can get really competitive.' At this, Astoria let out a sarcastic chuckle.

'What?'

'You're one to talk, Y/N.' Pansy chuckled as Y/N's mouth gaped.

'I am not that bad!' She defended as Astoria rolled her eyes.

'Oh, please. The chess incident?'

Y/N gasped. 'That was not an incident! I was... gesturing, and the pieces just slipped off the board!'

'Oh, right. Right..' Pansy nodded.

'Ugh, shut up! I think I know a way we can beat those assholes..'

The next morning, Y/N sat herself down before the Weasley twins in the great hall. Sharing a look of amusement, they set their cutlery down and grinned.

'Y/N Y/L/N,'

'To what do we owe the pleasure?'

'I need your help.' She sighed. They simultaneously quirked an eyebrow.

'Straight to the point?'

'She must be desperate, Fred.' Rolling her eyes, she leaned forward over the table.

'You two know how to play poker, right?' Waiting until they nodded in response, she continued. 'I need you to teach me how to play. And Pansy, and Astoria.'

'Oh, do you now?'

'And what's in it for us, little snake?'

Huffing, she lowered her voice. 'You can have our winnings, whatever it is. We just need to win the game.'

They seemed to communicate telepathically for a moment before each reaching a hand over the table with another grin.

'Got yourself a deal, Y/L/N.' She couldn't help but return their grin as she shook their hands.

The following evening, when Pansy suggested another game of poker to the group, the boys all immediately declined. It didn't take much more than a pout from all three girls until Blaise was conjuring the poker table in their dorm again.

Once everyone was seated and ready, Theo made to grab the deck of cards, but Astoria got there first.

'Uh, you want me to shuffle those, Tori?' He asked her.

Astoria gave a sickly sweet smile back. 'I think I'll give it a go, thanks.' She sprung the cards from one hand to the other and began to quickly shuffle them together. The boys raised their brows in shock as Y/N and Pansy could only grin.

'What the fuck?' Mattheo murmured.

As the games went on throughout the night, the girls had won multiple rounds, much to the boys dismay.

'Okay guys, final round now.' Enzo rubbed his hands together as the gang got ready to play their last game.

Taking a deep breath, Pansy stated she was in and shoved some chips into the middle of the table, with Blaise, Theo, and Y/N following suit. Y/N drummed her fingers nervously on the table as Mattheo and Enzo took their turns putting the chips in too.

'Would you keep still?' Theo whispered, and Enzo reached over to pin her hand down as Draco shot her a warning look.

'Sorry! I'm just nervous!'

'Alright, in or out, guys?' Blaise asked.

Draco pushed his chips into the centre with a smirk on his face. 'In.'

'Alright, I see you,' Astoria mimicked his actions, pushing some further chips into the table too. Draco merely raised his brow at the girl before him as Enzo asked around the table.

'Pansy?'

'I'm out,' She huffed, putting her cards down, Blaise following suit.

'Me too.'

'Same.'

'I hate this game!' Y/N sulked as she too slammed her cards down, Mattheo quickly grabbed the empty bottle from next to her and slid it towards Draco, who was on the other end of the table. Y/N gave him a pointed look as Enzo sniggered behind him.

'I fold.'

'Fold.'

'That just leaves you two then.' Pansy said, leaning forward onto her hands and looking towards Draco and Astoria.

'Oh, I'm very in.' Draco said, tossing some more chips into the pile.

'Astoria?'

'Okay, Draco, I see you. And I will raise you, ten galleons.'

'Fine, I'm in.'

At this, Astoria grinned. 'How many do you want?'

'One.'

'Okay... dealer takes two. What are you betting?'

Draco thought for a moment as he glanced at his cards, his poker face well in tact. 'Five galleons.'

Nodding, Astoria pushed some pieces into the middle once again. 'See your five, and I raise you... twenty galleons.'

Y/N gasped, Enzo's eyes widened, Blaise sat forward on his chair, and Pansy covered her mouth.

'I'll see your twenty and raise you twenty-five.' Theo dramatically fanned himself while Mattheo crossed his arms over his chest.

'I see your twenty-five, and, uh... Y/N, get my purse.'

Y/N fumbled with her wand as she mumbled a quick 'accio'. Once she had Astoria's bag, she opened her purse and pulled a face. 'Tori, there's nothing in it.'

'Okay, then get me your purse.' Y/N shot to the other side of the room, grabbing her purse.

'Here! Good luck!'

'Okay... I see your twenty-five, and I raise you... thirty.'

'Forty! Five! Forty-five!' Pansy gasped, having grabbed her own purse, and now stood with Y/N behind Astoria. She gave both girls a thankful squeeze of their hands and directed her eyes back to Draco, who was pulling out his wallet.

He scanned the object in his hand, pulling some money out before nudging the boy in the seat next to him. 'Enzo, I'm a little shy.'

'That's okay, Draco; you can ask me anything!' Enzo tutted, nudging his shoulder into Draco's. Mattheo's hand shot to the bridge of his nose in disbelief as Draco scoffed.

'What do you need, mate?' Theo asked as he and Blaise moved to stand behind Draco.

'Fifteen.'

'Here's ten.' Theo chucked the money onto the table over Draco's shoulder as Blaise dug into his wallet too.

'I got five.'

'Thanks. Okay, I'm calling your forty-five. What do you have?' Draco asked, keeping his cards face down on the table. Astoria took a deep breath as the girls behind her held hands nervously. Her eyes darted up to meet Draco's, and she sat for a minute before laying her cards out on the table.

'Full house.' Y/N and Pansy gasped in excitement, all eyes now moving to Draco. He, too, sat for a moment, his eyes never leaving the brunette in front of him.

'You got me.' He cracked a small smile as Astoria jumped up to hug the girls behind her, all three squealing in excitement. Draco heard the sharp intakes of breath and the groans behind him as he felt someone pat him on the shoulder.

'It's alright, mate.' Theo spoke as Draco stood and turned towards them.

'It's a tough hand to beat!' Enzo chimed in, Mattheo made his way to the other side of Draco, and clapped him on the back.

'I thought we had them.' He said, giving Draco a look.

'Ah well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards.' He shrugged back. 'But look how happy she is. They are,'

The boys turned to the three girls, who were now laughing giddily as they held hands. Enzo smiled, watching his best friends twirl around the room before a look of realisation crossed his features. The three other boys seemed to put the pieces together just as quickly as they all gave Draco a look, eyes darting from the blonde before them to his unturned cards on the table.

Simultaneously, all five boys made a dive for the table.

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tarotwithavi · 1 year

Text

Watch me have my glow up in 2023

Masterlist

Paid services

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

1~2~3

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Note : this is a general reading to take what resonates and leave the rest! If you don't feel like the pile you chose is resonating with you then you're free to choose another one.

Please leave a note to support this blog!

New year reading ( only two slots left)

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

What is stopping you from getting your glow up ?

Schools 💀 like I was shuffling for this spread and the first thing that got into my mind is school. And I'm also seeing you being very stressed recently this might be due to exams or workload. You might be starting to have some skin issues or breakouts.

How can you get your glow up?

You might need to filter the water you take bath with or just clean your shower🚿. And if you use bathtubs try adding rose water and essential oils in it and then take bath in it. And for those of you who use showers try using this method too. And drink more water please. Your lips are chapped. Please moisturize them. Eat more fruits .

Your glow up

Woah pile one, I'm amazed by your energy. You guys are so ready to make 2023 your year and i see it manifesting. You're going to be very successful in 2023 . You are going to get the job you wanted, the grade you wanted and I'm even seeing you getting in your desired university. I feel like a lot you are starting to take good care or your body in 2023 and I see it ✨ GLOWING ✨ . Like you' are going to give off a boss bitch energy. And I also see you mastering law of manifestation. I feel like right now you're struggling with it because of your limiting beliefs. A lot of people are coming into your life and someone important is coming very soon. You might meet this person by the end of this year. If you're thinki thinking of cutting your hair short trust me it'll look great on you. And is your color my darling. You're going to make or get a lot of money in 2023.

Random messages

Taurus, Leo, scorpio , sun /moon/rising, success, short travel, delusion, material gurll, someone new, some great friends, parties, unicorn, silver hair, diamonds, a pet dog, yellow.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

What is stopping you from getting your glow up?

I feel like you might have lost someone very dear to you or something very precious to you. This can be your home, friends, family member or a pet. And this is causing great harm for your mental health. I'm also seeing that some of you are suffering from depression or just some disappointments. Your low confidence is stopping you from getting your glow up.

How can you get your glow up?

I know this is predictable by reading first paragraph but you have stop that negative self talk and the train of your negative thoughts. Try talking good about yourself , paise yourself in front of the mirror. Get a new hair cut, do skin care. Fake it till you make it ✨ 💅

Your glow up

Hmm I'm getting that you're going to win. Like in a competition or achieve something really good. I feel like your glow up includes your intuition too. Like dude I'm seeing you get a gorgeous glow up. You're going to be in your femme fatal era. Maybe try wearing more red and black if that's your aesthetic. But I feel like you have a dark aesthetic and for those who have a light or fairy like aesthetic try wearing pink and green too. Try investing in some nice quality clothes. I'm getting the message that you're going to do great in every field of your life. Like studies, work, family, love etc. I feel like a lot of you want to be jack of all traits because you want to be good in everything and I see you achieving that! The month of march could be important for you. Money! Money! Money! I'm seeing it for you. Maybeyou've even started buying things for your glow up. People are going to see you as Royality.

Random messages

Fire sign, air sign, Victoria/victor, Taurus, horse riding, historical, star , successful outcome, Pisces, family sorrow, business opportunity, rebirth, bow.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

What is stopping you from getting your glow up?

Your laziness and unwillingness to change. You're very stubborn my pile 3 . I know you feel like why you should change but remember change is constant. It's always happening . If you're not willing to change, you'll be forced to change by the universe. It's also because you're always in your own world and sometimes forget reality.

How can you get your glow up?

Change your bedsheets to silk ones, they reduce hair fall. Also change your pillow covers and always remember to keep them clean. Try to get more sunlight. Maybe try tanning. Read more books. And be more self disciplined. Try adding purple/Lavender and green colored clothes in your wardrobe. Listen to your intuition.

Your glow up

I'm getting a unrecognizable glow up for you. Like people won't be able to recognize you after your glow up. People will wonder how can a person change so much in just a year. I feel like your glow up will be slow but stable and forever lasting. You won't lack anything in your life. And a lot of people will want to court you. And I'm also seeing some people gossiping about you. I'm going to tell you something don't tell your secrets to anyone no matter how much you trust them because you can regret it in future. The person you tell your secrets to might gossip about them to others. You'll be thankful for everything you have in life so no matter how stressed and sad you're right now future is going to be amazing. So please have faith and enjoy as much as you can. You might need to defend yourself a lot in the near future. I see you becoming a more goal oriented person.

Random messages

Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn, aries, sun/moon/rising, frustation, lessons, completion of a cycle, some troubles/problems, angel, guidance, good luck,

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

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the-fiction-witch · 6 months

Text

Pouty

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Flirty AF + Mild Smut

Warnings Gambling / alcohol

I sat on the well-stuffed armchair that I had moved over, replacing the cheap wooden chair of the card table with my usual parlour armchair, my bare feet on the soft rug, the fire crackling and popping to my side as it worked away at the wood and coal I threw on a few moments ago. My cards on the well-polished wood of the card table, the edges slightly buffed and worn down from people's arms, my cards face down showing only the patterned back, coins in the centre of the table stacked up nicely, his cards on the other side. He sat in his armchair, well it wasn't his but it may well have been, leant back with his usual fluffy hair, his white loose sleeve shirt, his blue waistcoat, his green tie undone allowed to hang low and his brown trousers, his chocolate eyes leaving me with no place to hide, his smirk upturned on his lips.

I sat similarly in my chair with my arms over my chest doing my best to look at anything but him, flicking my eyes around the room that was meant to be our parlour but my father merely used it as a card room, with tables, chairs, a bar to the side and as many games as could be imagined. We were... A little, not tipsy, nowhere near Pidgeon step, but... Giggly, and giddy. Which didn't help matters.

He never moved his gaze though giving me very little choice in my proceedings.

"I don't know why I play with you." I snapped pushing my cards into the centre folding,

His smirk only grew as he moved the centre pile to his little pile proud of himself for his winnings, taking my cards and having a look before rolling his eyes "You had me going for a while at the start there," He smirked adding them along with his own back to the deck and beginning to shuffle them, "Again?"

"Alright," I sighed, as much as I didn't want to keep losing I didn't want him to go just yet, "I just need to be a bit careful..."

"Careful?"

"Umm... Last week someone took home my whole allowance!"

"Shouldn't bet it, if you not prepared to lose it."

"And you live by that philosophy do you?"

"I do indeed."

"No, you do not! I've known you to be in the whole for more than you make in a year?" I laughed "As I recall he was going to chop your hand off."

He smirked and very fragrantly moved his hands as he spoke making sure to draw attention to them "And do I have both still?"

"Yes, because you're a crafty little..."

"Ohh go on?" He chuckled leaning on his hand "I shall like to hear this,"

"You're a crafty little... fool."

"You're adorable" he smiled blowing me a kiss across the table as he dealt the cards I glanced at mine and had nothing but I wanted to keep him going a while, I did my best not to react watching him as he checked his own but god damn it he's good! not letting a single reaction make it's way though. He moved a coin to the centre so I did so too, back and forth this went on as the pile grew both of us constantly trying to read one another, I knew I didn't have much money left and I was no closer to knowing what he had so I folded before I lost everything and he smirked taking his winnings with a wide smile,

"Jack Dawkins, must you be such a .... Person." I sighed in frustration,

"A person?" He smirked shuffling the cards again,

"A... Person." I snapped,

"Aww, go on. you can do it. What am I?"

I know what I wanted to say but the words stuck behind my teeth

"Go on, I won't tell," He smirked winking at me as he delt the cards again

"Dick." I sighed glancing at my cards and for once I had something good! really good! but I kept my face still,

He laughed at me, "You are adorable. Come on you can do better than that" Not even checking his cards,

I huffed.

"Come on, I won't tell, I think it's cute when you swear. such a cute Wittle Wady saying the words her daddy won't Wet her." he playfully joked as he moved a coin to the centre "I'll even get you started. Cunt."

"Jack!"

"What?"

"You- You can't just-" I began,

"Cunt. See nothing happens. Cunt. god doesn't come and strike you down for swearing Y/n. He did... I would be in the pits of hell five times over by now."

"Dick." I sighed adding a coin

"Yes, we've heard that one come on you can do better."

"I- I can't,"

"Your father's not here It's safe. I promise I won't say a word" he smiled adding a few more coins

"Little fucker."

"Ahhh! there we go, Pouty little princess."

"I'm not pouting"

"Yes you are, you're mad at me. Awww pouty wittle princess mad I took her allowance?"

"I. am. not. Pouty."

"You're a ... " I began but I couldn't say it, he just glanced up at me expectantly "Bastard."

"Ooohhh sharp tonight Y/n" He smirked "Come on," he smirked as we had reached the point where I had no more money to bet from my weekly allowance but these cards were so good there was no way I could lose! So I slipped off my bracelet adding it to the pile "Very nice," He smirked adding more coins "Go on, how you gonna get out of this one?"

"Arsehole," I sighed pulling off my ring and adding it to the pile,

"Confident little pouty princess tonight," he smirked simply adding more money,

"Shit." I sighed as I had nothing else to bet with, "You open to an IOU?"

"Depends what it is," He shrugs slyly,

"Half next week's allowance when I get it."

he smirked, "Why? I'll end up winning it when I come over anyway,"

"Please?"

"Alright" He smirked grabbing some paper from the bar and writing out and IOU "Go on," he smirked sliding it over so I signed it and added it to the pile, he smirked and simply added more coins "Ooohh now what are you going to do?"

"... Another IOU?"

"For?"

"More of my allowance next week?"

"No."

"What?"

"If I take all of next week's allowance you have nothing to play with then. I'm just robbing myself of the future enjoyment of taking it."

"Ughhh... what do you want then?"

"Anything I want?"

"Yes,"

"Anything?"

"Within reason."

"So all anything is on the table as it were?" he smirked leaning his elbows on the table, connecting his hands and resting his chin there,

"within reason, you slimy little fish boy."

"Fish boy? Are you actually out of swears you know?"

"Shithead."

He smirked still with the paper from the bar in handwriting on it in a way I couldn't see and slid it over licking his lip as he did, I took it a little confused and read it

'IOU, One on the Lips Kiss. Signed _________'

"You're kidding?"

"I am not."

"Why?"

He shrugged "The sick twisted joy of forcing the pouty little princess to pucker up?"

"You're a dickhole."

"Oohh getting more inventive now. Take it or leave it."

"How much do you value that?"

"Let's say to the value of four pounds?"

"Four pounds!"

"That's what the girls down the cat and bagpipes charge."

"Well, I ain't a girl down the cat and bagpipes jack, Twelve."

"Six."

"Ten."

"Nine."

"Fine." I sighed signing it and adding it to the pile, He nodded and simply added more money

"Well, now what am I meant to do?" I glared

He smirked glancing at the paper he still had on the table and I rolled my eyes, "Fine."

"Don't bet what you can't lose. You can fold at any time little lady." he chuckled writing on the paper and sliding it over to me waiting with an evil smirk, I flipped it and looked immediately turning red at the idea

'IOU, One lap sit lasting at least one minute. Signed _________'

"You want me to do what now!"

"Sit on my lap," he smirked leaning back in his chair slightly and opening his legs almost invitingly

"One minute?"

"At least."

"Fine." I snapped signing and adding it to the now formidable pile

"You must be very confident,"

"So must you" I smirked "...If I win? will you give me a kiss?"

"The IOU had no name so... Yes I suppose if you won they go to you."

"So you'd have to kiss me, Jack?" I giggled leaning on the table a little "And come sit on my lap?"

"I would, little concerned if I'll fit but yes if you win then I'll do it." He smirked "So... do you fold or are we going to keep adding here?"

"Adding. Go on. You can choose."

"Ohh how kind of you princess" he smirked clearly getting a wicked idea writing on the paper and sliding it over so I took it

'IOU, One Touch of an intimate area of the winner's choice. Signed _________'

"An Intimate area?"

"Yes,"

"Which would be wear?"

"Your tits. or your arse. Or your pussy if I was feeling like it." He smirked

"And If I win?"

"My arse, or my cock."

"That still sounds like it would benefit you more than me."

"Then I can't lose can I?"

"How much?"

"fifteen pounds."

"Fine" I smirked signing it and adding it to the pile

"Interesting you value a kiss at nine pounds but me fondling your tit is fifteen... I could in theory fondle your arse for less than the price of two kisses"

"Your turn" I smirked ignoring his comment and noticing he now had very little left to bet with so he slid the last of his money in "Not enough."

"Ohh come on-"

"Nope. you want to keep the stakes this high then meet them."

He rolled his eyes and slid over the pad and pen "Go on then."

I took the pen thinking for a moment this was all getting a bit intense but if I won! I got everything! and he was betting with my last three weeks' worth of allowance I had lost to him, as well as his recent winnings from evenings at the Cat and Bagpipes and wherever else he scampers off too to play cards that aren't just here with me when my father's out. And I had to admit... the idea of winning and turning his perverted little request of me sitting on his lap and him touching my intimate places into something humiliating for him to have to sit on my lap while I slap his arse was too good to resist. But what to make him do, trying to think of what would humiliate him the most...

'IOU, One spanking session. Signed _________'

And I slid it over with a smile

"Uhh? So I'd get to spank you? That definitely sounds like it's more for my benefit."

"Does it?"

"yeah. That's hot as fuck!"

"No, winner takes."

"So, when I win I get to give you a spanking my pouty little princess?"

"If you win. yes. and when I win, I get to bend you over and give you a spanking"

"You'd really spank me?"

"I would."

"You can't even say cunt in your own house when your father isn't here you're going to bend me over and spank me are you?"

"I am."

"Alright" he smirked signing it and adding it to the pile quickly taking the pad back writing quickly and sliding it over

'IOU, One tickle session. Signed _________'

"A what?"

"I get to lie you down, tie you up. and tickle you to my heart's content."

"With my clothes on?"

"...some of them"

"To what end?"

"My amusement."

"and when I win? I get to tie you up and tickle you?"

"If you win, yes."

"Alright" I smirked signing it and taking back the pad trying to think of something, and an evil thought came into my mind

'IOU, One orgasm. Signed _________'

and I folded the paper stroking down the fold line before kissing the fold and sliding it over to him, He watched me rather excitedly taking it kissing the fold line himself before opening it

"Oh." He stopped short "Really?"

"Really."

"My pouty little princess wants me to make her cum?"

"When I win."

"And if I win?"

"You get one I guess, if that happens."

"You'll make me cum?"

"I will."

"How?"

"hands."

"Ohh no no."

"You're the one short on money. I get to decide."

"Fine. Hands" He smirked quickly signing away and adding it to the pile "Ohh look at that now you need to bet, so you fold or you bet?"

"Bet."

"Good girl," he smirked taking the paper and pen back and I didn't even need to check it really I knew what he was going to write and as soon as it slid back to me

'IOU, One orgasm By mouth. Signed _________'

"So... when I win you owe me two?"

"One by hand, one by mouth to cash when requested."

I smirked and signed adding it to the pile

"Your turn, I'm not folding princess."

"Alright," I smirked taking the paper and pen, trying to think of something and then it hit me! god damn it why didn't I think of this earlier

'IOU, full nude pose. Signed _________'

and I slid it back

"Pose?"

"Yep."

"why a pose specicily?"

"I can draw you."

"Draw me? why a cute little picture to keep under your pillow?"

"To display in town and humiliate you."

"And when I win?"

"You can see me naked, I'm sure that'd amuse you."

"I'm a doctor. I see naked ladies a lot. Like... so much it's kinda boring now"

"Boring?"

"It's just boobs. and a pussy. Yes, both of those can be spectacular but.. they are just boobs." He shrugs "Can I draw you?"

"Can you draw?"

"... I would try. and then I can put you up in my room above my bed" he winked

"Fine."

"Deal" he smirked happily signing "My turn!" He smirked grabbing the pad back and quickly writing his own sliding the paper over

'IOU, One Full Penotrational Sex Session. Signed _________'

immediately I turned red and he just smirked,

"No!"

"What?"

"No! No way!"

"Why not?"

"We are not betting with my Innocence Jack."

"Everything is on the table, you said so."

"No!"

"You agree to the IOU, Or you you fold." He smirked,

"Fine." I sighed signing and smirking "I'll see you."

He smirked and revealed his cards,

"...... you cunt." I sighed revealing my cards and he had beaten me!

He chuckled and pulled his pile of winnings to himself gathering all the IOU's and flicking them and then using them as a fan for himself "Well... isn't this just a lovely turn of events" He smirked taking one out and sliding it over to me "I'd like to cash this one, Now."

I looked and it was the

'IOU, One lap sit lasting at least one minute. Signed _________'

I sighed ripping it and throwing it on the fire before I got up and moved to sit on his leg, immediately he wrapped his arms around me pulling me to his chest

"Aww pouty little princess."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"You are an evil... conniving little man."

"I know" he shrugs "Now... what are we to do with the rest of our evening?" he smirked "Ohh. I have some ideas" he smirked waving his IOU's around suggestively "I have some rewards to cash" He smirked shoving the papers into the cleavage of my dress, grabbing my thighs as he stood forcing me to wrap them around him, so I quickly wrapped my arms around him so I wouldn't fall

"JACK!" I squealed

"Off we go then, princess. Don't worry you won't be pouty much longer" he smirked carrying me up to my bedroom...

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas sangster imagine #thomas sangster #tbs #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #jackdawkins #jack #jack dawkins #the artful dodger #theartfuldogger #thearttfuldodger

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runningthroughthegarden · 10 months

Text

tear stained kisses

summary: cheesy love confessions. blurb

a/n: i start school tomorrow! :( leave me some requests of what you guys wanna read :)

jack was always there for you. even in the hardest of times, he was right there next to you. which explains why he was currently on your bedroom floor stroking your hair as you cried into his lap.

you had called him on the brink of tears and before you knew it he was knocking on your door. you didnt know exactly why you were crying; everything was just piling up. your anxieties had gotten the best of you, breaking down the wall you had fought so hard to keep up.

usually jacks presence brought you comfort, but today it was only adding to the tears. you dont know when your love for him turned romantic, all you knew was you so badly wanted the curly headed boy. the tears worsened when you realized you could never confess these feelings in fear of ruining the friendship you had so beautifully created.

"love, please tell me whats wrong" jack softly whispers.

your heart aches at the familiar nickname.

"i cant. it'll ruin everything" you respond, beginning to wipe away your tears.

wrapping his arms around your shoulders he lifts you up to bring you face to face. pushing back your stray hairs, he carefully swipes his thumb across your cheeks.

"i promise anything you say will not ruin everything"

leaning your cheek into the palm of his hand you slowly pull your words together.

"im in love with you" you confess.

"what?"

you get up from the ground wiping the rest of your tears and taking a breath. jack follows your lead and stands next to you still in shock.

"i have been for a while. i think i was just scared to admit it to myself. whenever im with you everything just feels right. i feel so safe and at home. you are my home" you continue, peering up at him through your eyelashes.

the room is silent except for the small sniffles coming from you.

"i shouldnt of-"

jack cuts you off softly bringing his lips to yours.

"im in love with you too" he confesses.

you pull him in for another kiss, bringing your hands to the back of his neck.

"i dont think i could ever stop loving you" he whispers.

#jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x y/n #ethan landry

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

Note

From the news I'm getting here across the Pond, it seems like Liz Truss has perhaps achieved a marvel in that she's turning out to be more incompetent than Boris "Big Dog" Johnson. What are the chances the U.K. will have a new Prime Minister by the end of the year?

Yeah, she's exactly as competent really but, and this cannot be overstated, the person whose mess she's inherited IS Boris Johnson. But she compounds this with a Chancellor who is much, much worse.

Uh, this answer got long, sorry about that, but lol what can you do? Exercise restraint? Pfft.

By the end of the year... probably slim, as hilarious as the letters of no confidence are; the party can't survive another new leader that quickly. Johnson's greatest legacy - his greatest gift to the left - is the one he was always going to leave: he rose to power on a platform of 'feelings not facts', a method that is highly effective in the short term but horrendously unsustainable in the long run, once the shine of the bombast wears off and people realise that the bins aren't going out anymore. You cannot bluster and jazz hands your way through running a country indefinitely. You have to be competent at the daily grind.

Big Dog was not.

But during his tenure, everyone either threw all their weight behind him to suck his Union Jack-coloured cock and get a cushy ride themselves, or they were openly fired for disloyalty. He single-handedly created a Tory party that was defined by patriotism-flavoured incompetence. And then the bubble burst, and his old nemesis Mr Consequences came calling, and the situation was, very suddenly, that he was hot garbage - just absolute weapons-grade 'this is not a place of honour' levels of toxic - to have in charge of the party, but most importantly, crucially, none of them could get rid of him without also incriminating themselves.

That's why it took so long before the wave of resignations finally kicked things into happening. That's why it had to be a wave of resignations. None of the limping high school debating champions that were left in government could survive without him; even though he was actively poisoning them, they would die immediately with him gone. The tipping point came when finally that particular cost-benefit analysis see-sawed the other way.

And what's left? What was always going to be left: a hardcore radical group of 'feelings not facts' fascists, and an insipid hodgepodge of self-deluded clowns with the life skills of a particularly underwhelming five-year-old, all of whom are embroiled in bitter internal bitching wars and cliques and spend their days writing each other's names in a Burn Book rather than doing their jobs.

Everyone is blaming each other. No one is taking responsibility. The party can no longer agree on anything, except perhaps "Woe is us."

This latest leadership contest was actually a vicious thing that added to the damage and made the in-fighting worse. If we now add ANOTHER to the pile... well. I think we would see, at minimum, mass defections to UKIP. Very possibly some new political parties, like what Labour did when Jeremy Corbyn was too left-wing for them so Angela Smith and Chuka Umunna founded Change UK and claimed it was because Corbyn was racist and then Angela described people of colour as "black or a funny tinge... you know, a different... from the BAME community" and then Change UK was quietly dissolved after 10 months and no one remembers them anymore. It would be a disaster, is what I'm saying.

A new Chancellor, though... that's more likely, I think. Kwasi Kwarteng was rumoured to have had an affair with Liz Truss and honestly I strongly suspect that's why he got the job - he wrote a stupid book about economics that no one liked, on the night of the Brexit vote was overheard by a journalist saying “Who cares if sterling crashes? It will come back up again", and then became Chancellor, and then released a mini-budget last week that has tanked the pound to the lowest performance against the dollar since records began and immediately embroiled his PM into a financial crisis so bad she literally went into hiding for a day and a half. The UK is... actually completely fucked, as of this week. I cannot overstate what a fucking unmitigated disaster that budget is, or the damage it's causing. We were already doing very badly. This is catastrophic. This is like having an infected foot and everyone being concerned because it's turning gangrenous, and then Kwasi turns up and chops off both your legs and your dominant hand and then also the legs and dominant hands of everyone else present as well, except for himself and his rich mates. We are a long, long way beyond "First, do no harm."

But Kwarteng is also very replaceable.

However:

Liz Truss is extraordinarily stupid. I honestly don't know if it will occur to her to sacrifice him. If she's sensible she will; but 'sensible' is not a word I associate with Liz Truss.

The other option, of course, is an early general election being called, for the seven-hundred-and-fifteenth time in the last decade I stg. However, Tories only call for those if they stand a chance of winning.

One poll yesterday put Labour thirty-three points ahead of the Tories.

To put that into perspective, if that were to translate into a GE performance, the outcome of the vote would leave the Tories with...

THREE SEATS.

But! Of course! It's not so simple anyway:

That was an opinion poll, and those are always more extreme than an actual vote because people use them to express dissatisfaction. A vote would not be that extreme.

That was one of several polls yesterday. If we take an average, the actual figures are:

Labour are nineteen points ahead of the Tories.

Would you like some context?

In 1999 when Tony Blair won his landslide Labour victory - the greatest Labour lead in recent history - do you know what his polling lead was?

Twelve points.

Lol

So it is vanishingly unlikely the Tories will call a GE themselves. Their only hope now is that they can somehow do a good enough job to fix their party and win public confidence back before the next GE, which will be no later than January 2025.

In ENTIRELY UNRELATED NEWS I'm sure, Labour have just declared that they are backing a change to a proportional representation voting system in place of the UK's archaic first past the post system. Funny that.

#politik #the adventures of big dog the clown #going to need a new tag

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kunikame · 10 months

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# PURPLE LILACS !

[02] - "a 'friendly' game of monopoly" | prev. | m. list | next

ace trappola x fem!reader smau

! warning(s) : cussing, (un)intentional miss-spellings, america jokes (COME ON BABY AMERICA!!)

? w/c : 496

inviting the other first years to ramshackle automatically means inviting ace trappola as well.

though he wasn't directly invited by you, he invited himself, as usual.

whenever you held game night with your little friend group it would end with a screaming match between you and ace (and sebek, who simply screams because he can't lower his voice) over one thing or another. you wonder what you will find yourself arguing over tonight.

as the boys trademark pile into the ramshackle lounge, you go to grab the sailor moon special monopoly you (somehow) discovered they sell here. it's a little different from how you remember it in your world, but the fact they even had it in twisted wonderland astonished you.

"[name], do you need any help?"

you turn at the sound of deuce's voice, raising your eyebrow with a questioning hum.

"you've been staring at the box for a while, i was just wondering if something was wrong, or if you needed help with something. jack and sebek took care of the snacks and drinks, by the way."

realization dawns on you, and your eyes snap to the clock on the wall, you really have been standing here for a while. "oh! no, no, i'm okay, thanks deucey~ i was just wondering how the sailor moon edition even exists in twisted wonderland, and i suppose i lost track of time, that's all," you say as you walk towards the tall boy, indicating for him to exit the storage room first. after you turn off the lights and shut the door, you fall into step beside him.

"oh, you had it in your world too?"

you let out a pleased hum, nodding in agreement. deuce has always been quite curious about your world, and you loved sharing little details about it with him. you sometimes sat down and traded information and fun facts the other didn't know, and while jack was one of your favorite conversation partners as he was very attentive and listened to whatever you said, deuce was just a tad closer to first place.

"yeah, we have multiple editions, actually, based on some movies or animes– though i haven't played many of them."

"that sounds pretty fun. i wonder if there's a ramshackle edition of some board game somewhere out there. the currency is tuna and the goal is to catch grim without getting caught by overblotted dorm leaders or ghosts."

"and crowley is the mascot slash narrator of the game! he gives you random side quests and tasks that you can't skip cause you'd lose some tuna!"

you share a giggle just as you make it to the lounge and see the guys just chilling there and waiting for you with everything set up the way it usually would be.

except usually you entering would catch the attention of everyone except ace, turning to you with one request or another.

this time, however, ace trappolas eyes snap to you along with the others.

## ❝ after the events of the phantom bride wedding, ace started wondering whether he still had the ability to charm girls. he hasn’t thought about anyone romantically in years, hasn’t really flirted with anyone either, what if he’s gone out of it? perhaps it’s time to put his talents to the test; with the person who hates him most, no less. if he can charm her, he can charm anyone.

#TAGLIST ! : @solxima @gabirii @lunavixia @y2unagiz @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @borlining @artsycanongoer @myunghology @doughnuts-eater @lifeless-bug @babygurlenthusiast @shirishere @xopeach @stormyovent0aster // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you're in bold i can't tag you)

#☆ : purple lilacs #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x y/n #ace trappola #ace trappola x you #ace trappola x reader #ace trappola x y/n

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stratossphere · 1 year

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tennessee whiskey. | j.k

johnny’s a little drunk, and when johnny gets drunk, he gets messy. in more ways than one.

warnings: drinking all around, hint of weed and cocaine use, johnny and reader are broken up, slight relationship angst, fluff at the end

word count: 5.6k

taglist (let me know if you want to be added!) @asskickedbygirl

— —

You were making mistakes tonight. You had realized it as soon as you’d arrived at the bar everyone was holed up in for the night, because the first sighed you’d laid eyes on upon entering was Johnny Knoxville himself up on the bar with no shirt on doing push-ups. You’d been the last one to get there due to the fact that you’d been working until late, and you could tell that they had clearly started the drinking (and probably drugs, by the looks of it) without you.

"Y/n! I was starting to think you weren't even coming anymore!" Ehren was the one to intercept you when you passed a couple making out near the door, and you smiled as you watched him stumble over someone's foot on the way over and almost land at your feet before catching his balance. "Dude. Everyone is like, super trashed."

"I can see that. I don't have anywhere to be tomorrow, so might as well catch up." You said, shrugging and stepping around him to aim in the direction of the bar before motioning for him to follow behind you. You were aiming on avoiding your attention-seeking ex-boyfriend, so you headed for the opposite corner of the bar, where you could see Bam and Pontius with a deck of cards.

"Party's here." Ehren announced you to the both of them as you rounded to their side, drawing Bam's intense concentration as he attempted to set a card on top of the card tower they were actually doing a decent job of building up.

"Well good evening, madame. You are very late to the party." Pontius said, motioning to a stool with Ehren's jacket thrown over it and an empty one beside it. "Seats are open for viewing on what is going to be the world's largest card tower."

"Don't mind if I do." You said, grinning as you sat down next to Bam and watched him gently place his card. He let out a silent cheer to himself when the card tower remained, fist pumping in the air and almost hitting you in the shoulder in the process.

"Card skyscraper, man. 'Tower' doesn't mean jack shit." He corrected Chris, pointing a finger at him before turning to you and motioning to the pile of suspiciously filled pint cups that was sitting next to his elbow. "These are all liquor bombs, if you're interested."

Liquor bombs were just mixing every liquor and beer that they could get their hands on into one glass, and was a sure shot into starting a night that you wouldn't remember. It was a dangerous game, and consuming two pint glasses of it had left Ryan on his ass for a day and a half. You took a glass anyway.

"You better not have done anything gross to these. I'm not in the mood to drink anyone's jizz right now." You sighed, taking a sip out of the glass and immediately coughing when a horrific blackout-inducing blend of liquids burned their way down your throat.

"There's absinthe and a lot of tequila in there." Ehren snickered, motioning to the Absinthe bottle that was on the shelf closest across the bar from him. You winced, shivering as you tried to keep the sip down. Bam snickered at your earlier statement.

"I thought about it. But I thought you'd rather drink someone's jizz the old-fashioned way." When you shot him a sour look at his statement, he motioned over to Johnny, who had stopped his push-up marathon but was now leaning heavily over the bar as he talked to the bartender. "He sure as hell wants you to. He's like, trying to auction himself off to you, dude."

"Ugh. Please don't start." You groaned, taking another large sip of your liquor bomb at the introduction of Johnny as a conversation topic. This happened every time you all got together and Johnny was acting like...Johnny, but you never liked it regardless. "He could be completely naked and three inches from me for all the fucks I give. I'm not interested in...all of that."

"Yeah, but you say that every time. And then all of a sudden he's your shining star all over again." Ehren pointed out critically, leaning back in his seat slightly to get a look at whatever Johnny was doing. You had your back turned so you couldn't see, but you assumed it was something even stupider than what he had started out with.

"Hey. Give her some credit. She's been Knoxville-free for three months. That's your longest streak yet." Chris high-fived you for your not-so-amazing feat, but you took the praise regardless, grinning despite Bam's scoff of disbelief right in your ear.

"Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts." He muttered, wincing when you elbowed him. He was supposed to be your number one supporter, and yet somehow he always seemed to be the one doubting you. "By the way, here's your night's worth."

You looked to him in surprise as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of Menthol smooths out of his pocket and popping it open only to reveal that it was filled with rolled joints. A huge grin quickly spread onto your face, and you snatched the box out of his hand before he had even gotten the chance to shut it again.

"You're the best. I thought I was going to have to rob Steve." You said happily, slipping the pack into your jacket pocket and silently making a mental note to take a smoke break outside in the next few minutes. "Speaking of. Is he here?"

"Uh, yeah. He's somewhere. I think he's in the bathroom getting his sinuses dusted." Pontius motioned to the bathroom behind him, a knowing grin on his face. You knew that was more than likely very true, so you didn't do any further investigating, instead focusing on the card tower.

"So, are you turning this into a skyscraper or what? Because it looks like shit right now." You observed, motioning to the sorry excuse for a card tower on the bar between them. Bam was letting out an irritated groan before you had even finished speaking, and he immediately picked the deck of cards back up.

"We're getting there, asshole! Drink your fucking liquor bomb and shut up." He snapped, kicking your bar stool further away from him in what you assumed was an attempt to keep you from disturbing him in any way as he started to concentrate on laying his next card.

"Yo. Y/n. I got a bet for you." Suddenly, you felt a hand clap down on your shoulder, and you didn't even have to look back to recognize Ryan Dunn's voice. However, you frowned, because bets and any of the Jackass crew never went well together, and Ryan happened to be one of the worst. You turned around to see him standing behind you with a hat you recognized to be Dave’s on his head backwards.

"Is it gonna be bad? Because I'm not even drunk yet, and I'm kind of tired." You asked with a grimace, holding up your barely-touched liquor bomb for proof as he shouldered through you and Bam to grab a stool for himself.

"I bet you can't make Knoxville cry by the end of the night." He announced his bet proudly, and you heard a crowd of snickers from everyone that was sitting around you. For a second you mentally face-palmed because of course it was some dumbass shit like this, but then you just scoffed.

"That is so fucking easy. He's like, the world's sloppiest drunk." You boasted. You couldn't count how many times you’d left the bar together with his face buried in your neck and his tears leaking down onto the collar of your shirt past three in the morning. You then turned back to look over at the bar, and sighed when you saw Johnny still talking loudly to the bartender as he swayed on his feet despite the heavy support of the bar. "Case in point. Look at that fucker."

"Psh. He's not even that drunk. Send him over one of the liquor bombs." Pontius encouraged, motioning to your collection of different ominously colored glasses that you all were harboring on your portion of the bar.

"I don't want to bring it to him." You shook your head, putting your hands up as you verbally stepped out of interacting with Johnny so soon. If you were going to make him cry, he was going to have to come to you. Which really wasn't as difficult as it sounded, considering he usually ended up doing so once he'd had a few good shots in him.

"Well I don't want to talk to him. He's going to be all weird and try to arm wrestle me." Chris scoffed, also stepping back and leaving both Bam and Ehren up for takers. Bam wrinkled his nose, and then Ehren let out a dramatic sigh.

"Fine. I'll do it. But I'm saying that Y/n sent it over so that he gets the idea." He grumbled, reaching over your shoulder to grab a glass that you had specifically avoided when choosing your drink due to the deep green color it possessed. You didn't even want to think about what was inside of that. You didn't exactly want him to say that it was directly from you, but you knew that it was a smart idea in order to lure Johnny in your direction, so you let it slide.

Johnny threw an arm around Ehren's shoulders the second that he was in reaching point, and you, Bam, Ryan, and Pontius all watched as Ehren attempted not to spill the drink upon handing it over to Johnny. You tensed up when Ehren spoke, and then you watched Johnny's eyes search until they found you from across the bar. His eyebrows raised slightly, and when you motioned for him to drink, you watched as he downed the entire thing in one go.

Ehren looked as disturbed as you felt when he looked back at you all, and he muttered something to Johnny before Johnny was getting up on unsteady legs and following him towards you. Bam let out yet another whine.

"Ugh, he didn't say he was bringing him over here. I don't want to do arm wrestling either." He complained, dropping his head onto your shoulder dramatically as if he was the one that was tasked with making Knoxville cry. You really had never met someone who complained as much as Bam did.

"Get off. You have to talk to him before I do. Just for that." You shoved his head away from you, knowing that even that gesture would put Johnny in a drunken bad mood that you really didn't want to deal with.

"Are you guys really arguing over having to interact with Knoxville? Of all people?" Ryan rolled his eyes, clapping both of you on the shoulder as he got up to intercept your inebriated ex. "I'll talk to him, you fucking pussies."

You and Bam both looked at each other with solidarity in the form of a 'I'm not a pussy' pout, but weren't given much time to discuss the topic due to the fact that Johnny was basically stepping on Ehren's heels as he arrived at your portion of the bar.

"You guys are making liquor bombs, and you didn't even invite me over?" He scoffed loudly as he stepped around you, his arm narrowly missing your head as he reached over you to get another glass. Ryan offered Johnny his stool, which he accepted gladly but almost missed when sitting down.

"We're building a card tower. Busy." Ryan supplied, motioning to said card tower, which had received two more cards from Pontius since you’d last looked. Bam put out an arm that gently held Johnny away from the bar, because it was easy to tell that if he got too close, the card tower was going to cease to exist.

"Don't drink too many of those, man. We're going for press tomorrow." Bam chuckled as he watched Johnny swallow down his glass like a man on a mission. If you weren’t so hellbent on keeping yourself out of his direct attention, you would've also voiced your concerns. But you were tasked with making him cry, not making him smart, so you stayed out of it.

"If anyone else is interested in dusting their sinuses, Steve-O's offering in the bathroom." Johnny was clearly not interested in the card tower, and he motioned vaguely towards the direction of the bathrooms as he quoted Pontius exactly on what your friend was spending his night doing. As if on cue, Johnny also sniffed and wiped his nose, and suddenly you made the connection.

"You bumped?" You asked in surprise, not able to help yourself from commenting. Johnny wasn't really one that leaned towards hard drugs hardly ever, and it was actually rare that you had even been able to convince him to smoke weed with you, so you really couldn't contain your shock. His eyes turned to you ridiculously slowly, as if you had just committed a war crime by speaking to him.

"Yeah, Y/n. I'm an adult." In a moment of perfect acting, he was able to completely mimic a sober, stressed out Johnny when he was asked if he was about to go have his fourth cigarette in an hour. You immediately sucked in my cheek and bit down to prevent yourself from answering with just as much snark.

"Y/n, weren't you going to go out and smoke?" Bam asked, not even looking over at you as he placed a card even with Chris' very carefully, but effectively saving you nonetheless. You glanced down at the cigarette box peaking out of your jacket pocket, and let out a soft sigh.

"Yeah, man. Any of you are welcome to join." Except for you, Knoxville. You slid off of your bar stool, silently wishing that smoking weed in public places was normal so that you didn't have to go stand outside of a shady bar in the dark by yourself late at night. You weren’t really in the mood to get catcalled by grimy men who had just finished throwing up in the dumpster down the alley.

Despite your offer, you found yourself making your escape on your own, the clear sight of Johnny's eyes on you as you slid around people to get to the front door. You weren’t sure if everyone was there, but you didn't run into anyone you knew before you had made it outside to the thankfully empty bar front.

Unfortunately for you, just as you were starting to think that you had gotten a break, you promptly realized that you didn't have a lighter. You’d come in the clothes you’d worn to work, and you obviously weren’t lighting up in front of everyone at work.

And then, just as you were getting ready to head back inside and bum a lighter off of someone, thinking that your situation couldn't get any worse, someone busted through the doors and onto the sidewalk a couple feet away from you before you could even move in that same direction. You glanced to the side to see if it was someone who looked like they had a lighter, only to see someone who you knew absolutely had a lighter.

"You said anyone!" Johnny must've seen the disapproving stare on your face when you spotted him, and he immediately fumbled in his pocket before fishing out a lighter and holding it out to you. "Just a couple hits, Y/n/n!"

"Don't call me that." You snatched the lighter out of his hand, pulling one of the joints out of your box and sticking it between your lips. It was kind of sloppily done, which meant that Bam had rolled them himself instead of Ryan, who usually did them for you, but the sentiment was there, so it didn't bother you. Once you had the joint lit, you took a long drag, inhaling until you couldn't anymore and then wincing when you felt the burn rising in your throat.

"Here." Johnny's voice drew your attention back to him, and you looked down at the glass he was holding out to you. It was his liquor bomb, which was almost gone by this point, and the glass looked grimy like his fingers and mouth had been all over it. You shook your head as you cleared my throat a couple times and exhaled a heavy cloud of smoke.

"I'm fine." You muttered, taking a couple steps forward and then sitting down on the curb. "You know, you're gonna crash like fucking hell tomorrow if you keep it up tonight."

Okay. You could only keep your concern to yourself for so long. And everyone else was inside, so it was fine. It's not like you were asking him to tongue you down.

"I know." He didn't really sound like he cared. You could feel his presence from where he had moved to stand right next to you, and there was black converse in the corner of your vision, but you didn't look at him. He cleared his throat. "I'm bleeding."

Sometimes, you really wondered how you had ever seen the appeal of basically becoming the full-time babysitter of the most accident-prone person you had ever met in your entire life. You knew his looks had a certain deciding factor, but not even that could top the stress of bandaging injuries and fixing messes left and right.

"What?" You turned back to look at him in surprise, because obviously you couldn't ignore that, only to see him holding out his scarlet-soaked hand. Your eyes widened considerably, and you shot into standing position. "What the hell? Where is it coming from?"

"I hit my head on the bar." He looked mostly unbothered, his eyes unfocused as he looked for somewhere to wipe his hand off. You stopped him before he could press the palm of his hand to his pants, holding his hand away as you mentally looked for the strength to deal with your piece of shit ex boyfriend.

"Bend down." You sighed, waiting until he had done so before moving to stand on the curb so that you had leverage and could inspect his head. He indeed was bleeding from his scalp, close to his hairline where blood was close to pooling down onto his forehead. It didn't look serious, and he didn't seem to be in any pain, but head injuries always bled a lot, and he needed to be cleaned up. You let out a dramatically irritated sigh. "Finish your drink and come inside so that I can clean off the blood."

You were supposed to be keeping your distance. You had promised yourself when you’d forcibly pushed him out of your apartment three months prior that it would be your last breakup. It would be your last breakup, and there would be no next makeup. But, despite that promise, he always seemed to find a way to weasel his way into your daily life, and you found yourself taking care of him even more than you had when you were dating him. You hated yourself every time you did it, but you couldn't really say no. And you were together more than you were apart due to your friend group, so you didn’t really have an option.

You got a couple of questioning stares when you passed everyone at the bar, and you just shook your head irritably at Bam when you grabbed another liquor bomb on your way towards the bathroom. The blood was now on Johnny's forehead, so it wasn't exactly a secret what you were dragging him away to do, but no one else really seemed to care about that.

The men's bathroom was locked, which you kind of anticipated because you knew exactly who was in there, but you really didn't want to converse with Steve-O in his current state, so you just pulled Johnny right into the open single-stall women's bathroom and locked the door behind the both of you.

"Drink up." You handed him the liquor bomb, leaving him to settle as you turned around to collect paper towels and wet some of them. You were going to enlist a medic to just start following him around so that you didn't need to spend your nights where you were supposed to be having fun patching him up when he inevitably let the liquor hit. You knew giving him more liquor probably wasn't the smartest idea, but it would increase your chances of him leaving you alone, and it would also increase the chances of him crying. Like you said; sloppy drunk.

"You're such a sweetheart, you know that? I miss you." Johnny rambled, and you glanced over momentarily to see him swaying around before giving up and just collapsing down on the closed toilet lid. Your shook your head as you turned towards him with an arsenal of paper towels.

"No, you don't. You're drunk as fuck." You reminded him as you pressed a damp paper towel to his head, your free hand cupping his head just under his ear to keep him from moving around. You could both see and feel him leaning into your touch the way he always did, but you were trying your best to ignore it.

"I don't care. I always miss you." He pouted as he took a smaller sip of his new liquor bomb, wincing as you wiped the blood away from his cut and from his forehead. You fought the urge to scoff, instead settling for just frowning.

"Stop upsetting yourself." You said softly, tilting his head forward slightly so that you could see his cut better. You were hyper aware of the fact that the current position of his head allowed him to look directly down your shirt, and you could tell he was in fact utilizing that advantage. You rolled your eyes but held my tongue on the subject. "You know, doing push-ups on the bar isn't going to get you the attention that you want."

"Why not?" He sounded genuinely surprised by your breaking news. You took a deep breath, knowing that he was sensitive under the influence of alcohol and that you really didn't want him to cry before you had Ryan there to witness your victory.

"Because it's stupid. Nobody gives a fuck about it." Clearly you didn't take a deep enough breath, because your words came out a lot harsher than you intended, and that immediately reflected on his face. You winced. "I meant…you don't need to do push-ups on the bar to get m–everyone's attention. You're welcome to join our card tower party."

"Okay." Johnny's voice had softened considerably, and when you relaxed your hand where you had been holding his head down, his eyes didn't move from the floor. You patted his scalp and forehead dry, making sure that he wasn't bleeding anymore before you gently tilted his chin so that he was forced to look at you.

"Are you going to be okay?" You asked gently, letting yourself break for a moment in an attempt to cure his pouting. His hand drifted up to touch the cut you had just finished cleaning before he nodded hesitantly.

"I'm gonna finish this." He said, mostly to himself as he held up his glass to you like he was showing off how much was left. You coaxed him into getting up so that you could wash his still-bloody hand off in the sink, allowing him to continue to drink as you did so. He watched you in complete silence between drinks.

"Don't do any more coke. Steve laces his with a bunch of other shit that you don't need." You said after a second of silence, your thought prompted by the sound of Steve-O’s laugh echoing through the shared bathroom wall.

"Okay." He said again, nodding obediently as you scrubbed his hand with yours under the lukewarm water from the bathroom sink. If you were together, Johnny would've been pressed up behind you this entire time, but thankfully he was keeping his distance now, standing as far away from you as he could get while still staring at where you were cleaning his hand in the sink with both of yours. You knew he could probably wash his own hand, but whatever.

Finally, once you had gotten him completely cleaned up, dried off, and filled with liquor, the both of you emerged from the bathroom, heading in the direction of where you could see a much-larger card tower before you re-joined the group.

"Did you make him cry yet?" Ryan asked in your ear as Johnny occupied himself with marveling over the card tower, crossing his arms as he narrowed his eyes at you. "Or did you skip straight to fucking?"

"Oh, fuck off. I was sitting out there, and he literally let me get one hit in before he came out with his head bleeding." You complained, wishing that you’d just gone home instead of hauling your ass out to a bar where all of your friends were trashed and you weren’t. "And he almost did. But I've got a finishing move, so just hold your damn horses."

"Finishing move? That's the lamest shit I've ever heard." Bam scoffed, leaning backwards into you so that he could overhear your conversation but not alert Johnny at the same time. You elbowed him, watching as Johnny gulped down the last of his third liquor bomb. Yeah. He was definitely going to become a mess in the next ten minutes.

"Let me work my magic in peace, asshole." You snapped, glancing at Johnny one more time before turning back to Ryan. "Can you go put 'Tennessee Whiskey' on the jukebox? George Jones version."

A long time ago, Johnny had promised you that Tennessee Whiskey was 'your song'. You think it was just mostly because he loved that song, and it reminded him of home, but he made you dance with him every time he heard it. Obviously you didn't do that anymore, but this was different. It was a bet, and he was already drunk. You wouldn't have to dance with him for long.

"Aw, dude. I totally forgot about that." Bam snickered as Ryan disappeared to do your bidding, taking a sip of his beer as he watched Johnny beg Chris to let him put a card on. You nodded, grinning and sitting back down next to him.

"But once you see him crying, you have to pull me out, because I don't want to keep dancing with him. I'm gonna end up sleeping with him if we dance for too long." You ordered, shooting him a warning look. You hadn't smoked much, but the liquor bomb was slowly getting to you, and you knew that your common sense was ebbing away more and more by the minute.

"You know, I don't understand why you don't just throw in the towel and fuck him again. It's not like either of you aren't still cock-in-hand for each other." Bam sighed, shaking his head like Johnny’s and your separation physically pained him. You threw a hand in the air, letting out an indignant noise.

"We've discussed this. He won't nut up and commit, so I kicked his ass to the curb. You don't drag trash back into your house after you've brought it out, Brandon." You said dryly, using his government name to stress the significance of your breakup.

"Jesus. Don't sugarcoat it." Somehow, Johnny had intercepted that part of the conversation, and was suddenly facing the both of you as he blinked sloppily at your harsh symbolism. He looked like shit, and you silently thanked heaven above that he'd plowed through every single one of the liquor bombs that had been on the table, because you really weren’t excited to see the aftermath of what would be if he had another glass. You waved him off.

"Fuck off." You said dismissively, praying that Ryan's jukebox selection would kick in faster so that you wouldn’t have to concern yourself with an argument before you finished the task at hand. He looked like he was going to say something that you definitely wouldn't have liked, but just in time, you heard the beginning of George John's voice. His eyes immediately clicked in recognition, and his glass slammed on the counter.

"You're joking." He said dramatically, reaching out and pulling on your hand. "Y/n." Gasping out your name like a plea for you to let him pull you along towards the wider part of the bar, his eyes were practically begging. You made a face.

"PJ–" You started, pretending like you were going to say no just to fuck with him a little bit so that it didn't seem like someone had picked the song on purpose. He yanked your hand gently and repeatedly.

"Please! Just for a little bit! I’ll never ask you for anything again!" He whined, pulling you hard enough to where you were forced to stand up. You turned back and smirked at Bam before you sighed and gave him the OK to drag you along, immediately being pulled away from the group and towards an open space in the middle of groups of people.

"Do not try anything." You warned as Johnny wrapped his arms low around your waist, a beaming grin on his face as he started to sway you back and forth to the music. George John's version was his favorite, and you could already hear him humming along.

"Shh. Just listen to the music." And before you could even respond, he had his face dropped down into your neck, and there was no longer any space between you as his arms tightened their grip around your waist. You sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers up the back of his neck and into his hair the way you knew he liked. He was now humming gently in your ear, and you could hear the crack in his voice from too many cigarettes as he sang.

God, you were going soft. How could you not? He was wrapped tightly around you, and he was humming the same song that he always hummed when he was showering in the morning. Plus, just as Bam had so eloquently put, you really were still ‘dick-in-hand for him’, and you would’ve been lying to yourself had you said you didn’t still love him. You were trying to force yourself not to, but so far it had been a failed attempt.

"This is still our song." Johnny mumbled, and in a moment of small victory, you realized you could hear the telltale shake in his voice. Yep. Three liquor bombs were definitely triggering the water works. You kept your fingers in his hair, swaying him around and rubbing his shoulder with the hand that was rested over it.

"I know." You said softly, enjoying yourself for a moment as you held Johnny to the soft sounds of George John's voice. To give yourself some credit, you weren’t lying. Even if you two never ended up back together again, you would still picture his face and hear his voice every time you heard this song. He had ingrained it into your brain. He sniffled.

"I miss you." He repeated what he'd said in the bathroom, and this time there was so much emotion in his voice that you were really starting to believe him. “I miss you so goddamn much. I can’t live without you, babydoll.”

You leaned back, forcing his face out of your neck, only to confirm that he was in fact crying. His eyes were rimmed with red, and he looked like a kicked, admittedly drunk puppy. You glanced back at Ryan, who was watching the both of you intently, and tipped your head to the side so that he could get a perfect view of a crying Johnny Knoxville for proof. You saw him laugh, and then promptly realized that Bam, your rescue agent, was nowhere to be seen. Perfect. You were going to have to stay.

"You'll be okay." You consoled, resting your hand on his arm where his hand was still on your hip. His skin was warm despite the chill in the bar, and you silently wondered where exactly his shirt had ended up. He shook his head adamantly.

"No, I won't. I need you." He whined, his face suddenly noticeably closer to yours than it had been a couple of seconds before. You felt your heart ache, and the liquor inside of you screaming to wrap him up in your arms and never let him go again. God fucking damn it.

Liquor always overpowered common sense. It was a well-known fact, and it was something that you had to accept if you planned on drinking. That's why, despite your best intentions, you slid your hand up to his neck and pulled him down, pressing your lips to his as you wiped the tears from his eyes. There had never been a time where you’d danced to 'your song' and hadn't made out, and you weren’t about to spoil a tradition. You knew that everyone else was definitely watching, and that you were going to be facing a heaping pile of liquid regrets in the morning, but at that moment you couldn't find it inside of you to care. You loved him too goddamn much.

“PJ, why don’t I take you back outside so you can get a little fresh air.” You could still hear him sniffling and despite you wiping his eyes, the tears were still coming, so you broke away to motion towards the side door. Johnny shook his head adamantly, his arms tightening around you and his forehead dropping against yours.

“No. Just wanna stay here and dance with you.” He mumbled, pressing another kiss to your lips and then swaying you back and forth with his cheek pressed against yours. “Stay with me, okay sweetheart?”

“Whatever you want, baby. Whatever you want.”

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville fic #jackass #jackass mtv #jackass imagine #jackass movie #bam margera #ryan dunn #danger ehren #chris pontius #steve o #this is one of my favs that i’ve ever written

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punsmaster69 · 2 months

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26/MAR/20XX

like papyrus did, tori asked me what i wanted for my birthday.

still, my response was the same.

"nothing."

i shrugged, as i tossed a bone over the rail of her porch. there was a clatter as it hit the other ones.

"Are you certain?"

"yeah. not a lotta stuff i actively want, these days."

toriel hummed a small note while nodding, like she understood.

"Papyrus mentioned a few activities planned."

"he wanted me to answer with 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩��𝘯' fun to do that day, at the very least."

"Your initial proposal was much less, I take it."

"definitely woulda opted for doing jack shit all day, but."

"...got the feeling he'd be disappointed in that."

she took a sip from her mug.

"He is not a skeleton to sit around."

"more than that. like he really wanted 𝘮𝘦 to want to do something too."

"Papyrus is always encouraging you to do more, is he not?"

"yeah."

"and it's nice to have him call me out on bein' lazy, even if i won't change a thing."

"but... there was a certain look to him about it."

dropping one more bone into the pile, i shoved my hands into my pockets as i found a way to word it.

"my guess is that it had something to do with the scares i gave everyone this year."

"I see."

then tapping her nails rhythmically against her porcelain cup, hands cupped around it as she leans against the rail.

"Making up for lost time, he feels?"

"maybe."

"...say. have you noticed an aura of, uh... somethin' else about him?"

"Anxiousness."

"He is always on his toes about everything."

"yeah."

"Do you worry that it is related to your heath?"

"kinda."

"Oh?"

"Sounds like there is a bigger piece."

"his job."

"ambassador's a pretty big title, y'know?"

"worried it's getting to him a bit."

"Big titles have always been something he strives for."

"absolutely."

my own mug, which i'd set aside when i started piling bones, is a kinda cold to the touch when i reach for it.

"it's a lot, though."

"titles are one thing, responsibility another."

"I have been helping him with filling out papers when I can."

"same here."

"Not much more we can do other than that, and being here to support him."

"hm."

"Getting him to relax a little more on the sidelines as well, perhaps."

"doin' plenty of that."

"It can be hard to keep him seated at times."

"even when he's home, he's gotta be cleaning something or cooking something or busy in 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 way."

"Really, he does seem to be doing alright otherwise."

"Admittedly... the anxiousness did seem to ramp up around the time that everything initially kicked off."

"It may be the added stress of knowing anything could happen to you - namely, while he is away - that keeps him on edge."

"...yeah."

"getting better, though."

on that topic, i resumed tossing attacks over the porch rail.

"so maybe he won't have as much to worry about for too much longer."

"Did something in particular happen yesterday that sparked this worry?"

"just been thinking about it for a while."

tori gives a nod. her eyes follow each attack i drop into the pile with a clatter.

"Would you at least like me to bake a cake for your birthday?"

"Well. I may regardless of your answer."

"But do you have something you prefer?"

"that one you made around valentine's was pretty good."

"The chocolate one?"

"yeah, with the icing."

"Duly noted."

#undertale #journal #sans #toriel #papyrus #soriel #actually they're pretty much just talking here do i even tag this as soriel #oh well #sans x toriel #toriel x sans #toriel and papyrus

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ririya-translates · 8 months

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The Priest

Ishida posted another winter play backstory for Kai's birthday (Sept. 23rd). It was a bit late but worth it because it's quite long and gives us a lot of new insight. I've included the new art and the BGM link from the original post. It's worth noting that this is the only post so far where Ishida and Towada seem to have a split in how they interpret the character (more on that at the end). I did my best as a fan to translate the posts from both of them. End of Jack Jeanne winter play spoilers.

Upon getting into bed and becoming drowsy, Sounds are heard approaching. The sounds of soldiers' boots.

The sounds of trampling and splitting lifeless bones, Destroying the mellow Neshiromi fragrance. Boats being consumed by the sea release piercing shrieks. Angels spilling tears of blood call out the names of their mothers. Wings of pure white grew out of the man's back.

The man carried guns and swords in his hands. On his chest was an iron badge.

He pulled the trigger like a broken doll And was rapidly swallowed up into a boundless sky. Wanting to see that far-away view, the man continued to pull the trigger.

As the man ascended up to the sky, he could see all the way to the other side of the mountains.

Suddenly, the feathers were plucked from his shoulders, Turning upside down, the man hurtled downward at intense speed as he screamed at the top of his lungs. After being violently pounded into the land of lead, The shock of being broken into pieces severed the thread of drowsiness. This repeated until morning. Every day, this repeated.

The man had always longed for a dreamless sleep, But it was never granted to him.

He opened the Bible. He gazed at it in the dim light as the morning sun was just showing its face.

The man could not read the words. Possibly due to the ball of lead lodged in his head. Before that, he read it through multiple times, but never understood the meaning. However, there was assuredly something good written there.

All he could do was gaze upon the letters as if they were orderly arranged worm carcasses, Yet the man's heart was able to calm just a little. And in this way, it began to tame him.

When the sun rose, like a corpse strung together with thread, He plodded towards the confessional.

The man liked to hear the repentances of others.

Hearing another's sins made his heart dance. If others regretted their sins, he thought that even humans were not things to be thrown away.

If others were rebuked of sin, even the anger could be felt inside.

He felt he did not have faith and that he was a sinner, But as he took on this priest-like role, the line to the confessional never ended. This city had been utterly choked by sin.

Lending his ear to people just like a wall, He listened intently and added the appropriate words.

Afterwards, everyone would head home satisfied. If they were led to believe that this wall had a heart, They didn't seem to mind that they were undoubtedly talking to a wall.

The confessional booth was a garbage can. Sins were garbage. Every person here came to throw away their waste. It would pile up for a few days until they came to throw it out again so they could face tomorrow anew. To the man, this trash was of great importance.

For him, the sins of others were an anesthetic for the spirit. Confessions were like Mama's burnt cookies. He crunched upon them greedily. He continued like this until he was finally full, Expectant that maybe then he could sleep peacefully. The man had become a wall and continued listening to confessions day after day. But the man was never able to sleep.

"In the end, the body is the coffin of the soul. No matter how far I go I will never be able to escape myself. My soul is held captive by my body And they can never separate. Until death.

I am afraid. My body is afraid of my heart. It is truly fearsome.

I can't escape from my own life. What on earth is this?!

My soot-stained soul makes my flesh ache. My body has regrettably been dragged along by my heart.

To eternally endure life as this sort of human, All I can do is abandon myself.

Catching small amounts of sleep, but only ever that. Even so, it allowed me to glimpse the world outside of this prison.

Certainly, in the beginning, the one torturing my heart Was me. This thing known as the heart seems to bear a truly horrific seed Which is why punishments are enforced.

It was what no longer allowed me to sleep, What granted this horrendous pain in my head. And even yet, the feelings in my heart will never be cleared in all of eternity. Please, enough already! Can you not forgive me?"

Neji's note) The priest is Havenna itself. He is a symbol of Havenna. His fall into depravity at the end shows him becoming more like Havenna itself.

(Ishida's note) What's written above is Ishida's interpretation. By the way, when I asked about Towada's interpretation of the priest She said a number of things but overall She thought back fondly on the cabbage patch kids it seemed. Well, that's what I think. What do you all think?

[After this, Towada tweeted this cryptic post about the cabbage patch kids. It's unclear who is speaking in it since most of it is phrased like how you'd write a warning on a sign. Ishida retweeted this just saying "O Rama Havenna"]

/Do not apply religious faith to the physical human form /Do not attempt to understand faith /At the moment of understanding, it will be bitten off by cruelty and degraded until it is only something to chew on /After that, it can never return to its original form /Do not touch that desire named 'understanding' /That person has no front and no back /Can you simply just love and kiss the cabbage patch kids? /O Rama Havenna

#jack jeanne #jackjeanne #sui ishida #shin towada #translation #this is gonna rot in my brain until the end of time

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yuurei20 · 1 year

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Added Insults

Changing a form a media like a movie, video game or TV show into another language involves both translation and localization.

Localization involves intentionally changing the content of the game, show or movie, in order to better appeal to the new target market.

In Disney’s “Zootopia,” for example, four different news anchor characters were created and inserted into the movie depending upon the area it was targeted to. While a moose for North America, the character was a Tanuki for the movie’s Japan release, a panda for the China release and a koala for the Australian version of the movie. This happens most often with jokes, as humor can vary wildly from culture to culture.

In Twisted Wonderland, Vil makes a disparaging joke on the JP server about Leona, asking if he is certain that he is a prince and not actually an egg.

One of the ways that the word “egg” can be written in Japanese looks visually very similar to the kanji for “prince,” so Vil is making a Japanese-language joke, saying that Leona might just get mistaken for a prince by those who do not look closely enough, which follows Vil’s habit of simultaneously complimenting Leona’s appearance while insulting everything else about him. And this is impossible to translate into the English language.

To get around it, the English-language adaption of the game rewrote Vil’s dialogue for a joke about jesters. And this is perfect localization.

If you have ever wondered, “Why was this dialogue changed so completely from what the character originally said?,” often times the answer will be, “For you, because the producers thought that you would enjoy this version more than the original.”

There have also been insults introduced to the English-language version of Twisted Wonderland. This is possibly because, in Japanese, rudeness is often portrayed via verb forms, personal pronouns and honorifics (or lack thereof). As this cannot be portrayed in English, the English-language adaptation often chooses to add name calling, instead.

The prefect, for example, originally does not call Grim a jerk. They merely say that he talks loudly in his sleep.

Ace, originally, does not call Grim a sentient pile of lint.

Ace, originally, does not call Riddle a numbskull.

Cater never calls Trey “mom,” and does not accuse him of nagging.

Cater also never calls Trey a nerd.

Trey never comments about boa feathers to Vil.

Jade does not say, “Silly ghost.”

Leona does not call Malleus a recluse.

Leona does not call the fairies stupid.

Leona does not ask if he needs to spell out a situation in crayon.

Leona does not call Ace and Riddle, “freaks.”

Leona does not tell Silver to come back once he wakes up, or better yet, don’t.

Ruggie does not call Jack a “protein-addled muscle freak” who nips at his heels and begs for advice.

Jack does not call Deuce a chicken.

Rook does not use the feminine form of the French word “idiot” to insult Leona.

Lilia does not make a comment about Vil’s “pretty little head.”

#twstdialogue #twisted wonderland

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xiaolin-show-hoe · 5 months

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"Trouble Ages Like Wine" Prompt 2

There were days when the time hit him like a brick to the face.

He stared at the Xiaolin Dragons, grown for about a decade from when they first met, but to Chase, it was only a moment.

The monks had grown taller, stronger, faster, and smarter. They had become a real challenge to handle and when he watched from the sidelines as Wuya fought unvaliantly to get her hands on a new Wu…Chase felt his eyes freeze on the scene.

It was then that he wondered how fast time would keep going.

He would forever be in its grasp and while he could act as though it was his weapon, it was nothing more than that, an act.

He was no greater than any other except he had time on his side.

It however did not play by rules which he could dictate. He was at its mercy just the same.

While the monks got stronger, the Heylin side grew weaker. Many of their allies had simply become passing figures.

It was then that Chase witnessed yet another defeat on their end. Wuya losing to the Xiaolin was no longer abnormal, in fact, it was becoming as common as Jack losing to them. It was something he would have to fix.

--------

With Wuya's loss, they returned to the Citadel.

"We are being made fools of Chase! This has to end! We need to get a leg up on those Xiaolin monks. Why not ask Hanni-"

"Wuya," He growled warningly and he enjoyed how quickly she went quiet.

"It seems you have misjudged your position here. Let me clarify it for you," Chase rumbled with a slam of his fist upon one of his pillars, his dragon form slipping under his reactionary anger.

She walked backward in fear as he rounded her, his form festering into existence on his skin like a plague.

"You have no power here witch and you'd do well to remember that I merely tolerate you."

His words got deeper as he shifted fully and hulled over her menacingly adding, "Do Not Test Me."

She simply nodded at him and excused herself as she should. With a painstaking shift back to human skin he sighed. Every day the monks became more powerful. Soon even Chase would have trouble taking them on alone. He knew this day would come, but he had blinked and the young ones were no longer young.

The were-dragon put his hands behind him and merely walked over to his large chair, his large cats walking with him.

<i> 'Master why do you seem anxious?' </i> one in particular asked and Chase found himself at a loss. Indeed, why was he? Was it because of the future yet to come or simply this feeling of displeasement with the idea of one day having to work beside his fellow Heylon just to keep the Xiaolin side in check.

When did he start to feel this way?

'I have many things on my mind. It seems the tide of good and evil have become rather unbalanced since….'

Chase paused mid step as he finished the thought with an aggravated sound, '...since that worm Jack Spicer stopped coming around.'

All his cat warriors seemed to feel similar to him as all their ears lowered.

<i> 'The screeching child that smells strongly of burning oils and pudding?' </i>

'Indeed, the one and same foolish buffoon.' He finished and thought of when he last saw the irritating nuisance. How many years had it been? Surely it had been enough time to expect some more positive changes in his social skills?

Chase hardly doubted it, but he would check for the sake of evil. After all, he would rather check on him than that wretched vegetable.

He went to his seeing crystal and summoned the image of Spicer to make sure his visit would be at a good time. Ever since he had walked in on the worm dead asleep in a pile of garbage, he had found it less complicated to simply see where the other man was before teleporting over.

An visual was conjured in the crystal and Chase raised an eyebrow in shock.

Chase blinked before staring again at the image before him.

Well then, seems he should pay Spicer a visit.

Without another moment, he summoned his Heylin magic to transport him to Jack's location.

●●●●●●●○○○○○○○○●●●●●●●●○○○○○○○○●●

Jack banged his head, a resounding clang was all that greeted him back. With lifeless motion he did it again, "Come on Jim, you can't mess up my dinner schedule because of a little prank. Do your goddamn job."

All he heard was a snicker from the otherside. Goddammit, idiot wardens.

Fury rolled in him but his hunger made him weak enough to forget it. He turned instead to sit against the door. He began to kick his feet since his hands were wrapped around him in the straight jacket. A special detention center just for him. He felt honored.

He wondered if he should just go to sleep, try and pass the time that way.

He couldn't and he knew it. Still he hoped his mind would calm itself.

He closed his eyes and started thinking of food he used to have. He groaned and kicked his feet up like a kid. At least he could move them.

Suddenly Jack felt goosebumps prickle his body and the smell of burning leather hitting his nose.

It was familiar in a way that rolled in his stomach as he opened his eyes in shock to see…Chase Young in the flesh in his isolation unit.

Was this a hallucination? Had he been that far gone or was he already asleep?

Chase looked the absolute same with his smug face and handsome jawline that had Jack's heart racing everything. His jaw dropped, "C-Chase…What brings you uh here?"

The red head cursed his stuttering and wondered if he was imagining it all. It was more likely than Chase Young appearing to him after so long.

The man silently looked around the padded cell with that smile still condescending. "Seems your living situation has changed since I last saw you. It seems much more…quaint."

Jack rolled his eyes at the statement, smirking back nervously, "Yep, definitely not the same. So…What do you want?"

He watched those golden eyes scour him appraisingly. It made him get a shiver and nerves bubbled up as well as so many thoughts. He couldn't voice anything as the black haired man sit a mere 6 feet from him.

"Good, I will make this quick."

That smug look was gone and something cold replaced it. His neck prickled at the words and Jack wondered if Chase was here to kill him…but why now? The look on his face became unreadable and Ah, that's what Jack was used to the most.

"How would you like to be on the Heylin side once more, Spicer?"

The redhead froze for a moment.

Then he started laughing hard. Almost damn near crying, now CONVINCED he was hallucinating. There was no way Chase Young, his evil idol from his teen years, was here to ask him of all people to help him in aiding evil. The prideful arrogant asshole of a powerful handsome god would never.

Which is why he wondered when they had drugged his food if he hadn't ate yet. The dragon man had simply looked at him calculating and cruel as always, Jack didn't even flinch at it.

"Chase Young asking, ME of all people, for help? I call bullshit."

The evil warlord stared down at him and emotion of mixed fury rolled in his stomach at the haughty look, like he was trash…

The eternal being repeated the question again, the threat never veiled in his voice.

Joke was on Chase because Jack literally could not care anymore about anything. His answer was obvious to himself alone it seemed.

"Fuck no."

Chase blinked and seemed to narrow his eyes, "No?"

That is the prompt number 2, 'Trouble Ages Like Wine'. This story is about Chase noticing how much stronger the Xiaolin grow while Heylin weaken. He decides to check on Jack and finds himself set on seeing how Jack is changed.

Except he is in prison and has changed in a way that Chase tolerates, enough so that he makes Jack become his apprentice... even against Jack's wishes.

#fanfiction #chack #i love xiaolin showdown to an unhealthy degree #xs jack spicer #xs chase young #xiaolin showdown #jack spicer #chase young

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the-offside-rule · 6 months

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Gary Neville (Manchester United era) - Are You Sure?

Christmas (From The Vault)

Gary sat amidst colorful wrapping paper, tape scattered around, attempting to wrap a present. His brow furrowed in concentration as he struggled with the paper, his fingers fumbling with the tape. Y/n, his girlfriend, stood at the doorway watching him, a smile on her face. "Hey, Gary. Need a hand with that?"Gary huffed, "No, I've got it. I'm an expert wrapper." He replied.

Y/n arched a brow, and went be sit down beside him, leaning on his shoulder as she watched the chaos unfold. "Sure thing, expert. But I think your present might need a little magic touch."

As Gary continued to struggle, Y/n helped him, guiding his hands. "See, you fold it like this, and then just a bit of tape here." He had grown quiet. "You okay?" She asked. "Yeah. Just was never taught how to wrap is all. Seems like a bit of hassle though. Just stick a bow on the bloody thing and be done with it." Y/n laughed at his mini rant and held his hand. "That's not as fun though." He raised his eyebrows. "How?" She grabbed the wrapping paper and began wrapping the next item. "Less time I get to be with you, isn't it?"

As time passed, and their laughter echoed through the room as Y/n patiently taught Gary the art of wrapping. The presents may not have been perfectly wrapped, but the joy and love put into each one were evident and his family liked the effort; It added a nice touch.

This became a little but of a tradition, because if we fast forward twenty years, their home filled with the festive spirit and Gary, now a bit grayer but just as grumpy, stared at the pile of gifts in confusion. "I still reckon we just stick a bow on the bike and call it a night. Say Sanat couldn't afford wrapping paper." Gary whispered as Y/n had come into the sitting room with her hands filled eith wrapping paper.

Y/n, with the usual twinkle in her eyes, sat the wrapping paper to the side and stood next to him. "Remember our first Christmas together when you claimed to be an expert wrapper?" Gary grunted. "Vaguely." She smiled. "Well-" Y/n laughed. "Looks like you need a refresher course." She nudged him. "You're hilarious, you are."

The couple joked just as they did on their very first Christmas twenty years ago, as Y/n once again guided Gary through the intricacies of gift wrapping. This time, it wasn't just for them but for their children – a new generation to share the magic of Christmas.

Amidst the wrapping paper chaos, Gary couldn't help but smile at Y/n's infectious joy. "You're lucky you have me to save Christmas every year," she teased. Gary rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his affectionate grin. "Yeah, yeah, the expert wrapper is back."

Their eldest child Jack, witnessing the scene,joined in as he wanted to be a part of the magic of bringing Santa to life. Gary simply watched. "You're just like you're mum, you." Jack rolled his eyes. "I get the looks and the skills from her, don't I?" Y/n held in a laugh and Gary looked on gobsmacked. "Throw him a bit of coal."

Jack simply scoffed and continued helping his parents wrap presents and sharing laughter. As the room filled with warmth and love, Gary couldn't help but reflect on the two decades of Christmases spent with Y/n.

In that moment, surrounded by the two that started this little family and the comforting chaos of gift wrapping, Gary realized that the imperfections were what made their Christmas truly special. And though he may never master the art of wrapping, he had something far more precious – a lifetime of shared moments and a love that continued to grow with each passing year.

The morning after, as they gathered around the tree, the twinkling lights casting a warm glow, Gary squeezed Y/n's hand, silently thanking her for always bringing the magic of Christmas into their lives. And so, in the midst of sques, giggle and love, the family celebrated another Christmas, embracing the beautifully imperfect traditions that had become their own.

#football #football imagines #football blurbs #gary neville x reader #gary neville imagine #gary neville oneshot #gary neville fanfic #gary neville

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aloneinthehellfire · 1 year

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Chapter 15: This Is Just The Beginning

Season One | Season Two | Season Three

[Raining Hellfire Season Three]

Word Count: 3548 words

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, voices, confessions/ love triangle? idk, sad goodbyes

[A/N: I was going to make this so angsty but I chose sweetness instead. This is the last chapter for RH3 and I'm emotional omg, this has been a rollercoaster]

This Is Just The Beginning

The pain didn’t go away in three months.

Day in and day out, you had to hear the gossip of the ‘mall fire’ from people who had no idea what really happened. Everyone that died had suddenly become victims of an ‘accident’ instead of the deadly creature you all fought. Instead of the Russians you had stumbled across working to bring about an Armageddon.

It was national news that the Starcourt Mall had burned down. Hopper was decorated as a hero, at least, something he most definitely deserved. It even made El feel a little better to hear that.

Jack was never mentioned.

And you had to spend every day in a house that no longer felt like home.

“Hey, where do you want this to go?”

You turn your head away from the box you were packing, glancing at the Walkman in Nancy’s hands. You give a small smile.

“In the box labelled ‘Madmax’.” You gesture to the cardboard that held all your tapes, plus some money you had saved up 3 years ago.

Nancy flashes a smile as she nods, delicately placing it amongst the other items before walking over to you, sitting cross-legged on the carpet beside you.

“Are you sure you really wanna do this?” She asks, searching your eyes.

You sigh, placing a photo frame of you and Jack into the box in front of you.

“I need to.” You respond quietly and she slowly nods her head, smiling down at the picture of you, her and Barb.

After graduation, you had received an important letter from a college you never thought you’d get into. You had ignored it at first, knowing that Hawkins was your home. Everyone you loved was here. You didn’t want to just move.

But now that was exactly what you were doing. The reasons you had to stay had suddenly become the reasons for you to go.

“You will be their end”

Leaving Hawkins was the only play you had left to ensure your friends were safe.

“So, when are the others giving their grand goodbyes?” Nancy chuckles, sealing up a box and adding it to the pile by the front door.

You clear your throat, never meeting her eyes. “Uh… you know. Later.”

When she doesn’t respond, you whip your head up to see her wide-eyed stare, movements paused as she looks to you with an exasperated expression.

“You didn’t tell them.” Nancy concludes, shaking her head wildly when you tighten your lips. “Y/n! This is important, you need to-”

“No.” You set down another box, wiping down your jeans. “No, I can’t. Goodbyes only make things harder.”

Nancy opens her mouth before closing it again, sighing. “They’re not gonna be happy when they find you gone.”

She was right. Leaving without saying goodbye was going to cause an outrage. Nancy was the only one that found out you were moving away. She had come to check on you and found you sorting clothes. You didn’t have the heart to lie to her.

“Don’t worry, just pretend you weren’t helping me with all this and I think you’ll be safe from their wrath.” You laugh sadly, sealing up the very last box and standing back with a sigh.

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Nancy moves to hug you tight, taking you by surprise. “You really don’t have to do this. We can figure it out. Maybe, maybe you can move in with us and-”

“Nance.” You say softly, hugging her back, and she slumps into you with defeat.

When you finally pull away, you look to eachother with matching tears, laughing.

“You’re gonna come back, right?” Nancy asks, nudging your shoulder. “We have so much to catch up on.”

“I’ll call you every week.” You promise. You didn’t want to answer her question. Not when you didn’t have an answer to it.

“You better.” She smiles, giving you another quick hug before running to grab her bag. “I need to help the Byers move- oh my god.”

Nancy suddenly stops, slumping her shoulders. You raise a worried eyebrow and she sighs.

“Why is everyone moving?” She complains. “And why not me?”

You laugh at her comment, walking her to the front door. “Just another year, Nance.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t remind me.” She bites her bottom lip, stopping just as she reaches for the door knob. “Could I get one last piece of advice?”

“Yeah, of course.” You blink.

“Jonathan… we’ve talked it through. With him moving out to California, we-” She takes a breath, straightening herself. “We decided to break up.”

“Nance-” You try but she shakes her head.

“No, it’s okay. It’s for the best.” Nancy slowly nods and you raise an eyebrow.

“Is it?”

She sighs relief, “That’s what I’ve been thinking! What if- what if we just tried long distance or... I don’t know. I guess that’s what I need your advice on.”

“I can’t tell you what to do.” You shrug, tilting your head. “But if I’ve learnt anything… don’t give up on something if you truly feel like it should last forever.”

She chuckles, smiling at you. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

One last hug and she opens the door, stepping outside. You give her a final wave before shutting the door and staring down at the boxes, breathing out.

You look down at the ridiculous bobble-head poking out of an unsealed box of trinkets and you laugh to yourself. A last minute graduation present from Steve when you were driving to the drive-in cinema. He had ran into a convenience store and picked out the most ridiculous thing he could find.

Your smile turns to a sad frown. Steve was going to hate you when he found out you had left without a warning.

Suddenly, rapid loud knocks echoed from the front door, startling you. You frown at the noise, walking over. Did Nancy leave something?

You slowly open the door, leaving enough space for you to poke your head out and you paused when your eyes met his chocolate brown eyes.

“Eddie?” You stare and he just stops, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to think of something to say.

“Hi.” He finally decided, a frown never leaving his face.

“Hey... What- what are you doing here?” You shake your head, widening the door a little more so you could stand just in the gap, blocking the view behind you.

“I know you’re leaving.” He blurts and you froze.

“No. No, I’m-” You shake your head. But it wasn’t fooling him. He must have ran into Nancy on her way out. Lord knows she has been the biggest Y/n-Eddie shipper since you ran into him in the hallway.

He placed a hand on the door and pushed gently. You allowed him to swing the door further open, revealing the cardboard boxes stacked up behind you.

“Okay. I can see how that might make you think I was leaving.” You nod, pursing your lips.

“Why?”

It was a simple question, one you could easily answer if it wasn’t for the fact that you couldn’t him the truth.

“I…” You started, taking a breath and stepping to the side to allow Eddie to walk inside. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.”

Eddie looks at you sadly, nodding. “I, uh… I heard. About your uncle. Wayne told me a while ago and I was gonna come see you but-”

He leans against the wall, resting his head against it as he stared at the ceiling. “I guess I just didn’t know if you’d want me to.”

“I’ll always want you to be here.” You admit quietly and he turns his head to meet you, a small smile lingering on his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You smile back before glancing back at the boxes by your feet. “But I need to do this, Eds.”

He suddenly springs from the wall, eyes creasing with worry as he scooped your hands into his.

“Don’t.” He pleads. “I know- I know how everything ended last year but I- I hate the idea of you not being here. With me. Just… just stay.”

“It ended for a reason.” You say softly, squeezing his hands before dropping them, picking up a box and walking it out of the door and to your car.

Eddie follows you the whole way, muttering under his breath as you open the trunk and dump the box in.

“Okay, yeah. Yeah, I know.” He runs to block your path back into the house, holding his hands up in surrender. “I know we ended it and I have to be completely honest with you. That was the worst decision I’ve ever made.”

Your heart drops at the same time as it flutters. “Eddie-”

“I was dealing drugs.”

Your eyes widen. He stares at you, tightening his lips.

“Um.” You shake your head, frowning. “That… I did not see that coming.”

Eddie slowly nods, clicking his tongue. “That girl, the one in my trailer that night? She was just buying from me. We weren’t- nothing ever happened. She bought what she wanted and then she left. I didn’t tell you because-”

“It’s not a girl’s biggest dream to hear their boyfriend is a drug dealer.” You finished with a sad laugh and he nodded his head.

“I should have told you.” He lowers his head, fiddling with the blue ring on his hand. “I shouldn’t have ran away.”

“I-” You squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head. “I still can’t tell you the truth.”

Eddie brings his eyes up to meet yours, frowning. “I didn’t ask you to.”

You smile before taking a step around him. “And I can’t stay here.”

“Why-”

“You know why!” A small sob leaves your lips and you notice the strange look from a neighbour. You walk back inside the house and try to lift another box. Eddie quietly takes it out of your arms and lifts it for you, despite the fact he was trying to convince you to stay.

“I can’t stay in a house that’s empty.” A tear leaves your eye and trickles down your cheek as you shake your head. “And I can’t stay in a town that only holds memories of all the people I’ve hurt.”

Eddie shifts the box in his arms, “You’re really set on leaving, aren’t you?”

You nod. “I made up my mind.”

“You were always so stubborn.” He chuckles. He stares down at the boxes, closing his eyes. “Well, it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me if I made you pack all these up by yourself.”

You laugh through your tears, picking up another box and heading outside with him. Several trips were made from the house to the car until the vehicle was filled to the brim. With a heavy heart, you realised you were all set.

“You did it.” Eddie smiles at you and you send him a confused look. “You’re finally making it out of Hawkins.”

“Yeah…” You frown at your car. Even with every detail planned out since the Starcourt battle, it still felt too sudden. You shake away the nerves, smiling up at him. “What about you? What are you doing with new-found freedom?”

It was meant to be a light-hearted question until you saw the shift in his eyes, the way his body tensed.

“I, uh…” He puffed out a breath, wincing. “I’m stuck here for a while longer.”

You’re about to ask why when realisation struck your mind. He didn’t graduate.

“Ed-”

“No, no. It’s cool.” He laughs oddly, brushing imaginary dirt off the hood of your car, “It gives me another year with the Hellfire Club, you know? And another year to make my own so, it’s not all bad.”

“You are the best Dungeon Master I know.” You declare and he genuinely grins at your statement.

“You don’t know any other ones.”

“Why bother when you’ve given me impossible standards?”

You both laugh, instinctively stepping closer to eachother. When you look up at him, your heart yearns for more. Eddie Munson. Your first love. The one that got away. The one you were about to leave behind.

“Hawkins is losing its hero.” Eddie says, offering half a smile as he reaches up and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“It’ll be just fine without me.” You reply, leaning up and softly kissing his cheek. “You’ll be more than fine without me.”

He doesn’t reply. Instead, he catches your lips with his and your heart reacted before your brain, pulling him closer. His hands slid up to cup your cheeks as you clung to his jacket. Memories flooded your thoughts with every happy moment you had spent with him, every piece of joy that made staying in Hawkins worth it.

Eddie reluctantly pulls away and you both just breathe for a moment before a shaky laugh leaves your lips.

“That was one hell of a goodbye, Munson.” You comment and he chuckles, smiling dimples at you.

“I’m hoping it was a ‘see you later’.” He steps away, straightening his jacket. “I… I should let you get going.”

“Yeah.” You nod, biting your lip, still a little flushed from the kiss. “I think I’m gonna make a stop first.”

As if he read your mind, he nods with a knowing smile, turning away. You watch as he walks down the driveway until you suddenly remember something.

“Eddie, wait!” You call out. He stops, turning back around as you lean into your car through the open window, rifling through your glove box to find what you needed.

When your fingers brush over the paper, you grab it and run to him, holding it out.

“What-” He starts with a confused laugh.

“It’s a gift.” You blurt, shaking your head when he just stares, “It- I bought it ages ago. Well, kind of. I made it cause I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted but it’s been sitting in my glove box for months and I’d regret it if I didn’t give it to you when I had the chance.”

Eddie slowly nods, a smile creeping onto his lips after your ramble as he peels away the paper. He laces the chain in his fingers, pulling it up to reveal a red guitar pick. His eyes widen.

“It’s not the same one you gave me.” You quickly say, reaching into your jumper and pulling out the necklace to prove yourself. “I just- You gave me your best guitar pick and I felt bad that you were having to use that old one that you always claimed was ‘just fine’ but I know you really wanted one to match your baby so I found one and made you a necklace. Like mine.”

His smile grew brighter and he pulls you into a hug, lifting you as you giggle.

“Thank you.” He finally puts you down, closing his hand around the pick tightly, like it would suddenly vanish if he wasn’t too careful.

“I should go now.” You reluctantly nod and he smiles.

“I’ll see you around, Queen of the Demogorgons.”

You laugh. “Later, King of the Freaks.”

Eddie’s laugh never left your mind as he disappeared down the street, the creases in his smile still replaying across your eyes.

You glance at your car with a sigh. One last stop before you left Hawkins forever.

“Y/n!” Dustin yells as you walk into the Byers old home, amused at the sight before you.

Lucas and Max were sat in the corner and singing ‘A Never Ending Story’, mocking Dustin and Suzie’s previous impromptu performance months before.

“Hey, guys. That’s not cool.” You say as the duo laugh with eachother.

“Thank you!” Dustin exclaims, sighing.

“Dustin, can I ask you something?” You look innocent, crossing your arms as Max raises her eyebrows behind you, a grin lifting onto her face.

“Yeah, sure.” The boy replies, looking confused when a giggle escapes your mouth.

“Where can I find... the answer to a never-ending story?” You finally blurt and his face drops to a scowl.

“WRITTEN ON THE PAGES IS THE ANSWER TO A NEVER-ENDING STORY!” Lucas and Max practically scream the lyrics and Dustin’s lips curve into a smile before laughs starts to erupt from his mouth.

“I hate you all.” He chuckles as he grabs the box in front of him and walks out of the house to the moving van out front.

“Hey, Y/n.” Lucas stands with Max, shifting the box’s weight in his arms. “We’re all going to annoy Steve and Robin at their new job after this, you wanna come?”

You smile at his request, “Uh, I kind of have something to do but tell them ‘hi’ from me?”

“Roger that.” He says, moving past you.

Max starts to follow him out until you hold an arm out to her. She frowns, letting Lucas leave before looking back at you.

“What’s up?” She asks, tilting her head.

You take a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“I dropped a box off to Susan before I came here.” You start and she shakes her head, smiling.

“Okay? What’s that got to do with anything?”

You swallow your guilt. “It’s a box of things I want you to have.”

Max’s smile falters when she recognises that look on your face, eyes already misting over.

“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

“I got into college.” You nod, fiddling with the piece of paper in your hands. “I wasn’t going to go but… Jack and…”

“And Billy.” She says, understanding as she looks up at you with blue eyes. “I get it.”

“I don’t wanna leave you here.” You say, tears falling. “I just got you back and I hate knowing that I’m just leaving you alone after everything that happened.”

“I’ll be okay.” She sniffles, finally pulling you into a hug. “We’ll be okay.”

When you pull apart, you hand her the paper, watching as she unfolds it to reveal a number and an address.

“It’s the number for my new place. And an address. I figured if calling was going to be tricky, we could always write eachother letters.” You admit and she smiles, nodding.

“I’d love that.” She sobs, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Madmax.” You laugh, wiping away the tears, “I need to get going if I want to make it in time but… tell everyone I love them?”

Max nods, pocketing the paper. “I will.”

You both walk to your car, hugging eachother for the last time before you slid into your car, starting the engine.

“Don’t give up.” She suddenly says before you can drive away. You look confused and she laughs. “I don’t know. It’s what you told me in California and I figured you needed to hear it.”

You smile to yourself before looking back up at her. “As long as you give them hell.”

She grins as you finally pull away, moving back onto the road and watching as your sister waved you goodbye.

You passed the crowd of your friends as they said goodbye to the Byers and El. You had managed to sneak in a goodbye the previous day, saying you had an urgent matter to attend to. It broke your heart to lie to them all. But goodbyes would only make your decision so much harder. You knew that if they all begged you to stay, you would.

As you drove along the road in silence, your grip on the wheel tightened, breathing heavy. You were leaving.

Goosebumps marked your skin and you took a breath. You figured as much would happen when it in finally figured out your plan.

“We’re not finished yet, Y/n”

The deep voice echoed in your mind as you pressed your foot further into the pedal, accelerating faster as you spotted the Hawkins sign in the distance.

Suddenly, your head started to pound and you try and shake it off, gritting your teeth.

‘Leaving Hawkins, come again soon.’ The sign read as you drove toward it, practically seconds away from leaving the town.

“THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING”

The voice yelled and you slammed your foot down, speeding towards the sign now, eyes dead set on the imaginary finish line. As you got closer, the voices swarming your head began to get both quieter and more persistent, like it was their last attempt at breaching your mind.

“You’ve already-”

You pass the sign and the voices are suddenly cut off. You release the pedal slightly, slowing down to a smoother pace as you breathed relief. That proves that theory.

You switch on the radio as the wave of realisation hits you. Hawkins was behind you and you were heading to your new future. One where you wouldn’t hurt the people you loved.

Someday, love with find you

Break those chains that bind you

The words blared out at you as struggled to keep the tears at bay, guilt bubbling inside of you. You had left them all behind without even telling them the truth. You needed to do this if you wanted them safe. You prayed that leaving would stop whatever force was trying to get rid of you, using those closest to you to do its dirty work. You begged that it would save them, let them live their lives without fear.

You hoped that this truly was the end.

You feel something wet on your top lip and you remove one hand from the steering wheel, using your sleeve to wipe at it. When you glance back down at your hand, you see that your soft yellow jumper was now stained red.

Another side effect of the monsters in your mind.

Raining Hellfire: Season Four ->

Raining Hellfire: Season Four, coming soon...

{ATTENTION!}

sorry just had to make sure everyone read this haha. i am so so grateful that so many of you love and support this story, especially since i wasn't sure i'd make it this far. since your input means the world to me, i really want to know how you guys think RH4 should go.

basically, we all know what happens to eddie in season four. it's sad and rips my heart out every time. my intentions with this fic were to make it as true to the original storyline as possible but, if people want it, i can make a few changes to the ST4 ending.

should eddie survive? would we want that change to be made? pls drop your answer in my asks so i can make that decision :)

i hope everyone has a wonderful new year!

taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711/ @eddiesbirdie/ @livasaurasrex/ @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs/ @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit / @f1nn-wolfhard / @hereiamhereigo / @ladybug0095 / @fangirling-4-ever / @astrolockley / @mothmanatemycat

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