#addictionawareness
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The worst part about anything that’s self-destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.
#addiction#recovery#mentalhealth#addictionrecovery#love#sober#sobriety#soberlife#recoveryispossible#depression#anxiety#mentalhealthawareness#wedorecover#alcoholism#motivation#soberliving#drugs#drugaddiction#addictionawareness#addict#onedayatatime#aa#alcoholicsanonymous#rehab#life#addicted#selfcare#soberaf#healing#health
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Aaron Charles Carter 🦋
The forensic astrology chart reading
So there's not too many details about what happened to Aaron carter so I'm pulling up the chart of the day of his passing to see what it tells us.
I'm sure everyone knows this information already but in case you don't-
On Nov 5th, 2022, Aaron was found deceased in his bathtub. The last known contact from him was at 2am Friday night after the police showed up at his door for a welfare check. People are saying he may have overdosed in the bathtub or that he fell asleep. Days before this he was known to be huffing again by his ex fiance.. she was extremely worried something like this would happen to him since she wasn't able to be there with him at his home at the time of his death. That night early Friday, she was in contact with his house keeper who told her he was fine and was just eating snacks.. I'm sure she expressed her concern to the house keeper too, she was telling everyone she was afraid he would die. And to her surprise, after having no contact with him all of Friday, he was pronounced dead at the scene on Saturday at around 11am.
So let's check the charts👇
Aaron's birth chart for reference below + 2am chart
Transit aspects to natal
(Pictured at the end of this interpretation)
His natal mars + pluto conjunct the sun/mercury/venus:
It's possible that around this time, aaron was feeling defensive against everyone who came in contact with him, melanie, his house keeper, the police, making impulsive assumptions about their intentions. He was very guarded at this time, wanting to be in control of himself, his belongings, territory, and privacy. He possibly didn't want anyone to know that he was either on a bender or doing drugs, that could definitely have been the case bc he mentioned in his lives that he was aware that a lot of his personal life/buisness was "being shared online everywhere by fake media outlets" were his exact words. He didn't want anyone to know anything about him at this moment, not his location, not his plans, not his possessions or whatever it was he was indulging in (venus).
His natal north node conjunct jupiter/moon/neptune:
To me I see this aspect as Aarons life serving as a lesson, or even sparking a much needed conversation on social media about the effects of addiction and the unhealthy amounts of neptunian things we do (eat, drink, drugs, escapism, codependency etc) and being too attached to our comfort zones and the limitations we placed on ourselves bc of it. Our comfort zones, while yes we all enjoy it, can be doing so much more damage than we realize. We need to find new ways to nurture ourselves and comfort ourselves when all else fails, it's not an easy thing to do that's why it's easier to continue on in our comfort zone. But feeling good, constant pleasure seeking is the real catfish, pain hurts yes but it gives us deeper experiences, tests our endurance/focus/mind. It's doesn't feel good but it is, very much. We have to train ourselves to stop always associating "good feelings" with good things.
We have to learn to balance out pleasure and pain.
His natal mars + pluto squaring saturn:
To me this could explain that he had no control over his body in some way, possibly he felt trapped, paralyzed, inactive, not in control. He may have felt weak, inadequate, unattractive, unable to "get it up" if you know what I mean.
(Since mars also represents our sexual desires/stamina.)
Maybe bullying and malicious characters around him were deeply affecting his self esteem at this time.. it could of been something he was constantly thinking of and was frustrated he couldn't do anything about it. Maybe he felt that society saw him as a weak, unmasculine, vulnerable, lacking dominance/direction/control, easy to push around-type of person. Tbh his recent appearances on no jumper could explain that. This situation as well as many others could of been a trigger to what caused drug abuse, sometimes when you feel like you have no healthy outlet to express yourself, such as having no hope or no other option, you end up self sabotaging. There was a major mood swing, anger, trigger, deep pain (mars/pluto)
Mars, pluto, and saturn are all malefic planets having a more negative and heavy impact. So when these planets harshly aspect (square, opposite) the natal chart, it basically can make a bad situation worse for lack of better words. So something along those lines, if you can get an idea of what I mean.
His natal mars + pluto opposing uranus:
Mars-uranus
He may have been feeling under attack, unexpectedly attacked by others, so his anger and frustration was unpredictable, sudden outbursts. He may have been trying very hard to defend himself against being attacked, could of left a very sour taste in others mouths.
He also was planning on leaving to visit his mother in Florida a few days before this incident but was blocked by melanie who called the police and accused him of using drugs while driving. It basically got in the way of his plans and he ended up being stuck at home for whatever reason at this time, instead of heading to his mother's like he planned to already.
Also with mars-pluto-saturn square, I feel like everything he tried/wanted to do was being blocked by something or someone since this transit 1st started, so not just the days leading up to this, was it an issue he had.
Mars-pluto, is our passion, self assertion, drive, motivation, control, power. All of those things were difficult for him, bc of other people getting in the way, constant run ins with the police, public, even our own physical limitations.
For example I remember having the mars transit square my saturn and I felt completely powerless bc I had come down with the flu, medicine didn't work, literally couldn't do anything but lay there in pain. It sucked bc it was during a time that I had plans the week of and it just ruined everything for me, didn't have the energy, mental, physical health I needed. If you ever had the flu, then you'll know what I'm talking about. To give you an example that's similar to affects of mars-saturn transits, it just impacts your vitality (mars energy).
It's crazy that if everyone knew he was using drugs, including the police, I mean there is evidence of this.. the erratic driving, the slurred speech in his videos, and even interviews/podcast he previously did...he still wasn't sent to jail.
(Tweets about that incident posted below...)
Mars-pluto
He wanted to keep his actions to himself, he tried very hard to keep everything hidden and under his control. That was the exact opposite of what happened to him tho, it seemed as if everyone already knew of his shenanigans and motives, it was all out in the open...
That's the kind of push and pull that can come from oppositions.
I feel like Aaron carter had a way of getting himself out of everything, it's like a survival thing when you're feeling so low that you don't care about the rules, limitations put upon you, authority of anyone else, you want to do what YOU want to do and anyone who tries to challenge you on that will not succeed. At least that's what aaron wanted to happen, but him and melanie were not on good terms at this time. I feel like she actually did want him to be in jail, not just bc she wanted to "save him from drugs" but also bc she was mad at him for whatever was going on between them. In his last few live videos I believe, and I will link them below. He and melanie were arguing back and forth and calling each other names. If you want to see the full live videos I got them from lila chats YouTube account, I recommend watching them if you want to see what aaronn and melanie were saying to eachother.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR4oEBAu/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR4oHtHP/
Contrary to what people believed he was actually a smart person who knew how to be charming and use his charm to get away with things such as his run in with the police and how he was able to get away with no problems. I bet melanie loathed this so much, it's like he was able to get away with everything, he had friends who enabled him, coworkers who enabled him, fans who enabled him. So her revenge in this case was trying to get him in jail but deep down there's still love there obviously so she also knew he desperately needed help. He was resisting all attempts at anyone trying to control him. The reason I say she wasn't just trying to help him is bc she participated in the name calling to and aaron was saying some pretty fucked up things like he doesn't want a "fake, plastic, lip filler, fake person" is what he was saying, if you see his fights that him and Mel had they were not pretty. He would constantly expose her and get her reactions on live video so that's proof if you don't think she had reason to be mad at him.
His natal chiron in the 10th house:
Authority figures, the public knew he was wounded and using drugs. 10th house is what's visible to the public and society.
Chiron transit conjunct natal jupiter:
Transit chiron and jupiter were both in his 4th house
He could have been leaving his home in Lancaster to get away from his pain and whatever was causing him trouble, the media attention, the ability for stalkers to have such easy access to his property and private information. But mostly at this moment he was attempting to visit his mom, since he was home alone. He probably felt lonely, isolated, ostracized, outcasted for his beliefs. His mom and Tampa Florida where he was raised probably would have gave him a sense of familiarity and safety, since it's what he already knew and his mom was obviously someone he leaned on for support. So he could of been traveling to escape his "wounds", discomfort, pain.
His natal saturn/sun/uranus/mercury in the 4th house:
This could describe aaron being placed in the home, not literally placed there but just the location of his body in the home. Imo saturn always rules the body in death charts especially if it's in harsh aspect to the natal.
Like with jolissa fuentes that I identified in one of my previous blogs, her sun was conjunct the transiting saturn in aquarius. She was found in a confined, severely damaged and banged up car, I imagine even if she was alive she couldn't have gotten herself out of the car with all the damage that was done to it. But yes Saturn=confined, restrained, suffocated, right on her sun.
Transiting pluto in his 2nd house:
Possible material losses or money troubles, this is a long-term personal aspect that has to do with values and the way we manage money. I have this aspect happening atm and yeap def struggling with money and how I manage it. This aspect would change the way you see and value money, material things over time.
Mars gemini transit in his 7th house:
Problems with spouse, significant other. He was definitely having problems with melanie and they had been separated for a few days, mars being in the 7th house describes a potentially aggressive, violent, impulsive blow up, altercation. Things were just not going smooth for the both of them there was prob constant bickering, arguments, accusations, disturbing/upsetting things said and done to eachother.
Here's one of those lives, they argued in👇
Uranus in his 5th house:
He was possibly enjoying the freedom he had somewhat, like he knew he was able to get by and get away, for example with law enforcement bc he was a celebrity. He wasn't doing anything too terrible imo bc he didn't harm anyone or anything like that but he was using drugs so that should of put him in jail. He was having fun with it, impulsively doing the unpredictable, wanting to do things only his way when it comes to what he considers "play time" whether what he does for fun is music, drugs, partying, spending, maybe even had many fans who would do anything for him such as enable his antics and etc.
Uranus=Aquarius 5h=Leo's house
So you can put 2 and 2 together, I hope.
Aaron's natal on the left-transits on the right.
I haven't even got into the half of what's going on here. Since there's no exact time of death I will have to look through what happened at and after 2am the last time he was seen alive.
2AM shown above. What was he doing at this time? A timeline-
In criminal astrology the victim is always ruled by the ascendant, so virgo asc would mean aaron is ruled by mercury at this moment.
Mercury being in scorpio in the 3rd house:
To me this is traveling, chatting with neighbors, there's some suspicious things going on... trying to be very private and hidden. Could of been at this time he was communicating with someone or the phone was in his car. 3h is short distances, travel, nearby neighbors, peers. Also I wonder if he was being stalked/watched with mercury being in scorpio or it could of been that he felt like he was and was being paranoid. He could of been very disorganized at this time, trying to do many different things at once, may have been anxious, anxiety ridden.
Moon conjunct neptune transit:
Increased sensitivity but also confusion, able to feel the projections, thoughts/feelings of others to the point where it can make someone physically ill. Mispercieving situations, vulnerable to deception/scandal, paranoia, self-destructive behaviors/habits like drug addiction and eating disorders, may be exposed to infectious diseases, poisons. Hygiene and cleanliness are important now bc immunity may be low. You may be more susceptible to pathogens and the effects of drugs, alcohol and anesthetics.
Source above from astrologyking.com
Moon transit square his natal saturn:
Depressing transit, abandonment issues coming up, emotionally closed off/distant, relationships feel like a burden, when it comes to our emotional needs we feel like they aren't being met no matter how much we try. Feeling restricted.
Moon transit square his natal sun:
Stress, frustration in the home or with woman/family. Overreacting, ego issues related to emotional conflicts. Overall tension and pressure is felt
Moon transit square his natal uranus:
Erratic behavior, extreme impulsivity, emotional instability, doesn't want to be restricted in anyway.
All of these transits aspecting his personal placements together has to be rough
Moon/jupiter in the 7th house:
Moon-7th house,
Could of felt dependent on another person to find security. Maybe he was thinking of things related to that topic, could of been craving someone to be there for him, reflecting on his relationships with others and deciding who is good for him and who isn't. Evaluating relationships in his life.
Jupiter-7th house,
Ease in public relations, legal matters, cooperation, luck in partnerships, joint activities. I feel like Aaron was looking for his other half, he did not feel right being all alone. He did say in a past interview that one of his fears was being alone, he hated that feeling. Maybe he was thinking of finding a new relationship with someone abroad who is different from his past/current relationships that is more suited for him and each other. He could of also had legal matters on his mind and maybe he wanted to discuss these matters with a friend, like getting advice on the custody situations of his son and his sobriety etc.
Like me I have a libra moon and jupiter (libra is ruled by the 7th house) and I've always had this pit in my stomach that makes me feel like I'm missing someone in my life, someone who supports me, compliment me well, like they provide what I lack and vice versa. Such as a relationship where we each bring something to the table that balances me out, sometimes I'm shy and need a support buddy and it would be nice to have someone by your side who you can trust or rely on. This could be somewhat of what aaron was going through? What do you guys think?
Neptune was also in the 7th house,
He could of been deceived/fooled/manipulated, having misunderstandings in partnerships/relationships, was not thinking clearly on what to do in his relationships/legal matters. Unhealthy attachment to people, toxic codependency, being taken advantage of. Idolizing the wrong people, things were not as they appeared, judgment was off.
Mars in the 10th house:
Getting aggressive with authority figures or authority figures being aggressive with him, maybe too many people around this time were causing a disruption, problems for him.
Mars gemini in the 10th for that matter, a lot of people knew what was going on and were aware of what he was doing whether it was his neighbors, peers, the public.
I believe the cops showed up to his door and he yelled for them to go away. Someone must of known something was going on so there was multiple people involved. 10th house describes, the government, law, professionals, men, managers etc.
Now let's move on..
3 AM, what was he doing at this point?
A Timeline-
So all the 3rd house placements except for venus moved into the 2nd house,
Sun/Mercury in the 2nd house:
This could explain slow reactions, slow responses, intaking food, possibly getting high, smoking, inhaling. Ego somewhat tied to his possessions/money (sun=leo, 2h=taurus) seeking security through what he owns? Maybe even through sex, 2h can represent that. House of sensuality, what you can feel, see, touch, consume, smell.
Venus in the 3rd:
To me this transit would describe aaron valuing communication and connections at this time, his texts to Sonya in the link below literally explain this aspect. He was in the mood to connect and communicate with others, venus is also our love style, sensuality, attraction. He possibly wanted to "sext", flirt, hook up with someone who stimulated his mind. I'm sure she's not the only one who he messaged but I feel like if she wasn't then we would of heard about that by now. But yeah I think he was feeling alone and trying to hit up anyone he could to possibly have a good time with and keep him company. Based on the texts, he wasn't in his right mind/intoxicated..
possibly 1-3am is when they were speaking with each other, bc the moon/jupiter/neptune were all in the 7th house around 2-3 so that tells me he was looking/longing for another person.
If he was using drugs that explains the slurring in text, and neptune being there says he was ideolizing people and maybe seeing them as being closer to him than they actually are. As I explained above under the 2am timeline.
Saturn in the 5th house:
This transit could of been a hard hitting one, happiness, creativity, love, energy would be restricted here. Maybe he felt that everyone in his life was abandoning him bc he was being too needy and depending on others to love, feed, approve of, take responsibility for. Aaron most likely always had someone around him to pick up where he slacked off but to the point where it felt unnatural to be on his own. Being alone made him feel unloved, unlovable, not independent enough, always needing other things even if they aren't people to feel less alone. 1 person can only do so much.
His hair stylist mentioned something about this too, saying that aaron must of seemed to be used to having a big family around him and needed others around him at all times but sometimes you can't always be there. He remembered a time where aaron was getting his teeth fixed and him calling his stylist who he also considered a friend, to come hold his hand but I guess he couldn't be there. And another thing that I came across is check saying that aaron wanted to buy him a plane ticket to come to him on friday I believe, but check said he couldn't make it on friday so they decided on Saturday. Both check and sonya couldn't make it when he asked them to see him, so that's something to be aware of.
If I were aaron I'd probably feel like I wasn't important enough to meet with as soon as possible..esp in a time I felt I really needed someone, it probably triggered some painful feelings in him that he wasn't ready to accept or reflect on, hence the drug usage.
Here's the text he showed from that conversation 👇
As you can see it looks like he stopped responding after 11:58 pm but I'm having trouble finding out what day that was sent. Was it thursday or friday night? The 'today' in the text is Saturday Nov 5th, 3:59pm. They were also in different timezones so aaron was in Lancaster and check in Florida. So it would of been 9pm Aaron's time when these texts were sent.
What was he doing at 9pm? Let's check the chart.
youtube
This is his last live from Thursday. He would of passed away if my analysis is correct just 7 hours later.
So imo his texts with check was around this time. Sun/merc/venus were in the 5th house so his mood here seemed like he was just trying to have a good time, show off his music, receive love from fans.
Moon in the 10th maybe he was trying to seek comfort and recognition from his fan/support system/family.
10th house represents money, career, recognition, public image. What's interesting is he didn't seem to be using drugs at all here, he seemed pretty sober to me. Not slurring his words or anything. He was live until 10pm
Let's go to 4:36am chart ⏰️
The ascendant that represents Aaron is now in libra, so he would be ruled by venus here.
Venus 2h opposing uranus 8h:
What's weird to me is venus in the 2nd house would mean that he was valuing something that made him comfortable in this moment, something he was familiar with (taurus doesnt like change or new, prefers familarity) I def see that as indulging in drugs and possibly weed.
Taurus/2nd house also describes the throat area to me so he was either huffing or smoking, drinking.
And let's just say if he was in the bath during this time, so he was in the bath with the jets on, smoking a blunt, possibly huffed just before he went in or all around the same time, that to me is basically him indulging and surrounded by his material comforts. I don't have a jet in my bath so I'm not that fancy but in the context of the 2nd house in venus it's natural home planet, doesn't this scenario make sense?
And then the fact that uranus is in the 8th, clear as day that it's unexpected, shocking situation that took away everything? 8th house is related to money/possessions/debt/death/occult/subconscious, shaking the foundation of something.
I don't wanna be too literal but this means unexpected death, it's that simple imo.
He was indulging in his comforts, it was an obsession of his and a habit (2nd house scorpio Venus)-leading to unexpected death (8th house taurus in uranus). Sun/mercury/venus/uranus/saturn were all squaring each other telling me he was hopeless and stuck. He couldn't speak, he wasn't visible to anyone, no one knew what he was up to, no one expected this. Saturn here acted as a suppressant to eveything that was going on, it was not only harshly aspecting each other transit wise but also to Aaron's personal planets, making it hit harder.
Idk why but maybe he could of been accidentally shocked? He might have touched something or it could have something to do with his nerves. I've heard a few people saying he may have had a seizure and I can see that.. with the aspects to mars-mercury-uranus, definitely.
The link above describes the effects of huffing and seizures
Aaron's natal mars/pluto were opposing uranus in taurus, so the fact that it's in the 8th house, house of death, tells me that something unexpected happened.
What's crazy is I looked up this aspect and it says "unexpected inheritances following someone's death"
I'll leave the link here so you can look up this placement for yourself, so interesting and a little scary how accurate.
This aspect right here (4:36am) could actually be the moment or close to the time of his death, uranus in the 8th house is said to be a common transit in unexpected death of friends or partners etc.
His natal mars/pluto were opposing saturn, sun/mercury/venus all in the 2nd house tell me that all of a sudden his body slowed down and he somewhat was not fully present or quick to respond, in a sedated state. I can imagine from all the drugs he was taking and inhaling, it's like he was conscious but not consciously in control. Half asleep, half awake, high out of his mind. He could faintly hear everything around him for a moment, the bath faucet dripping, the jets going, the water flowing, he could hear/feel all the little sensory things around him. He was probably relaxed at this moment bc of everything being in the 2nd house of taurus. He was quiet, calm, relaxed, still, and then he slipped below the water in his half sleep/wake state. He couldn't really push himself up I don't think bc when you're in that state even if you weren't on drugs and just really tired you would be too weak to fight what's happening and being on drugs it's even worse, like he couldn't fight bc he wasn't coherent enough or reacting quick enough to help himself.
I definitely understand this feeling bc just this evening as I was taking a nap I had woke up as I was falling asleep and for a sec I was dizzy an disoriented, so I can see how if something happened to me during time I could of been very vulnerable.
And if this is all accurate, he would of been in that bathtub for around 30 hours..from 4am Friday morning to 11am Saturday
Isn't it wild what astrology can tell us?? This is why I love it so much.
Mars in the 9th house:
Maybe he was just trying to have fun and try something new/foreign? Could of been a new drug or maybe he took more of something then he usually does.
But also the 9th house is connected to religion and his house keeper is religious, idk if those 2 are connected here but keeping it noted 📝
Moon/jupiter/neptune in the 6th house
Hmm...found this as I was looking up neptune in the 6th house. Chilling to find that this is what that placement represents isn't it?
If anyone can help me out and share their insights on anything they see differently in these charts I would appreciate it 💕 could always use a 2nd eye.
What's really weird to me is that the charts pretty much align with everything that was going on, everything we've already heard is shown in the chart. Let me know what yall think about this.
His case is still under deferred, I wonder if we will hear of toxicology reports once uranus and mars go direct. We will see. You can check his case details here 👇
Update as of 03/1/23:
Jane carter, aarons mom shares crime scene photos and text messages from aarons phone.
Link below
...May you now rest in peace AC, you were such a beautiful person the good, bad, and ugly sides. Your fans and I loved them all ♡
✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️
I've slowly been getting better at reading crime charts, my 1st real crime chart reading was the one in my pinned tweet for jolissa fuentes. All of that I did on my own with the help of Kristy the criminal astrologer for reference, who's been studying astrology for over 20 years, she's the best one yet that I know of in the forensic astrology game. Check her out on youtube (link below) and check my pinned blog post if you wanna see how accurate my interpretations are.
Thank you all for taking the time to read and that's all I got for right now, but I'll be back to finish the rest of my analysis. Enjoy.
UPDATE 04/22/2023
Autopsy results finally confirmed. The only thing natally and transit wise that stood out to me is the moon was in aries at the time these results were finally confirmed to the public and the moon was in aries when aaron was discovered deceased. Both are very close in degrees. Mars, jupiter, uranus, neptune all now going direct too. So maybe retrograde planets going direct could play a role in when we get closure from crimes like this.
#criminalastrology#astrology#forensicastrology#gemini mars#celebrity deaths#aaron carter#the carters#mtv the show#truecrime#addictionawareness#addiction#accidents#Youtube
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Top 10 Internet Addiction Tips
Well, here are some recommendations for preventing internet addiction:
1. Have clear goals: Decide what you want to get out of using the internet and make clear goals for yourself. You can stay focused and avoid mindless browsing by doing this.
2. Set a timer: When you are using the internet, set a timer. When it goes off, take a break and do something else. You'll be able to better organise your time and use the internet less frequently as a result.
3. Establish a schedule: Designate particular periods of the day for internet use and follow it. This will assist you in establishing a regimen and lessen the possibility of excessive use.
5. Maintain a log: Record your internet usage and record your mood before and after. You'll be able to see trends and triggers as well as create healthy habits as a result.
6. Exercise self-care: Make sure you are taking care of your mental and physical health. Get a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and engage in fun hobbies.
7. Restrict access: Take internet-capable devices out of your bedroom and other common spaces. This will make it easier for you to resist the urge to use the internet excessively.
8. Locate substitute activities: Choose other things you like to do and schedule time for them. You'll be able to break old habits and use the internet less as a result.
Use apps: Use apps that help you manage your internet use, such as timers, blocking tools, and activity trackers.
9. Get assistance: Discuss your internet use with friends, family, or a mental health professional. When you attempt to overcome your addiction, they can offer support and direction.
10. Take a break: If only for a day or two, think about taking a complete break from the internet. You can reset as a result and create better habits going forward.
Talk to Angel is an online platform that helps individuals struggling with addiction. It provides a safe and secure environment for people to talk about their struggles and receive support from professionals. The platform offers a range of services, including one-on-one counseling sessions, group therapy, and relapse prevention programs. Talk to Angel also provides resources such as articles, blogs, and videos that help individuals understand the root causes of their addiction and how they can cope with it. In addition, the platform also connects users with support groups in their local area so they can find help close to home. With its comprehensive services and resources, Talk to Angel is a valuable tool for anyone seeking help for addiction.
https://www.talktoangel.com/area-of-expertise/addiction
#addiction#recovery#mentalhealth#addictionrecovery#love#sober#sobriety#soberlife#recoveryispossible#depression#anxiety#mentalhealthawareness#wedorecover#alcoholism#motivation#soberliving#drugs#drugaddiction#addictionawareness#addict#onedayatatime#aa#alcoholicsanonymous#rehab#life#addicted#selfcare#soberaf#healing#health
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Trust that this divine body, this vessel that beholds your joy, your essence, and your power is ready. #yoga #yogapose #dancerpose #balance #identity #y12sr #addictionawareness #recovery #yogastudent #yogateacher #blackyogateacher #yogaphotography #onahawk #firehawkyoga #yogatherapy #vegan #40fit #yogastrength #selflove #yogajourney #selfhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/CiRT1CFDkQp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#yoga#yogapose#dancerpose#balance#identity#y12sr#addictionawareness#recovery#yogastudent#yogateacher#blackyogateacher#yogaphotography#onahawk#firehawkyoga#yogatherapy#vegan#40fit#yogastrength#selflove#yogajourney#selfhealing
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My dad, Tony
My dad passed away 13 years ago.
An accidental overdose that got chalked up to a suicide.
My parents had me young, then my sister and brother within 3 years. Kids raising kids.
They divorced when I was around 5, it was messy, a lot of toxicity and not being able to co-parent. I don’t blame either one, it was just what happened.
I developed a strong bond with my dad, I wasn’t his first choice to be honest. He was a boys dad at heart, I just happened to be the oldest and understood what was happening.
My siblings and I weren’t spared from the ugly process of custody. When I was 12 I decided to be legally placed with my dad. My siblings stayed with my mom.
My mom met someone and eventually moved across the country, with my siblings. My dad met someone too. He remarried, my stepmom had two sons around my age. Looking back I can’t imagine what it would be like for him to be in his 20’s with 5 kids. I wish I cut him more slack.
Things were rough, I slowly realized my dad didn’t have a grip on things. He lost his dad a few months before my siblings moved and he tanked slowly. Lost his business, started working at a construction company.
I remember him telling me his coworkers were all junkies, he seemed shocked and disgusted, I realized eventually he was shocked with himself too.
I noticed my dad changing, he was trying but slipping he felt he failed as a father, he felt oppressed by life.
One day on a long drive home from school he pulled over, looked me in my eyes, and told me these words “ Kelsie baby, I need to tell you something.. I have a bad monkey on my back and I don’t know what to do”.
We were arguing that day because he got his tongue pierced for fun and I thought it was stupid. I grew up in a town where if you did something dumb or reckless it wound up in the newspaper the next day. I was tired of that pressure, I wanted to be normal. I didn’t realize he was just trying to feel something, to feel anything at all in the boredom of the mundane.
I asked what he meant, he didn’t know how to tell me but I put it together a week later when I went searching for gum in the car and found a spoon and needle instead.
He told me he wouldn’t be like the rest, he could quit. He would definitely quit if his teeth started to be fucked up, if it messed with his looks. The night he told me that I watched him pick holes in his skin like worms were crawling under it.. fixated on his fixations.
We shared a ratty blanket, I still have it. We shared hotel rooms, we shared sleep paralysis (genetics) we shared an infatuation with space / aliens / and psychology.
He hid it well, he fought hard and when time skipped forward a couple of even harder years and many broken promises of sobriety I thought that I was teaching him a lesson by skipping town for a summer to visit my siblings.
I never knew it would be the last time I saw him. He was angry too and didn’t respond to my calls. I decided to stay for the school year, I would occasionally ask a friend to check on him, or deliver my message that I loved him and was sorry.
On October 9, 2009 at 10 am in my chemistry class I wept thinking about his funeral, how he wanted free bird to play and for everyone to drink and tell their craziest story of him. I was angry I had given up on him, angry I left him alone.
I later found out my dad passed away sometime in the early hours that morning. Waiting for my stepmom to return after a fight they had.
I never knew I would be able to tell this story in such a short and chalked up way. To be so precise about only a portion of something so much bigger. It used to feel impossible to tell the whole story, maybe I just needed to start with this part.
My dad was more than this story, he was a young dad, a hard worker, he was smart.
He offered homeless people jobs, never judged anyone, taught me the golden rule, but also how to defend myself.
He loved Metallica, Old School Rap, the anarchist lifestyle, gummy worms, Dr. Pepper, pumpkin seeds and jamming out with a drink in hand. He was good at impersonations and always had a joke up his sleeve.
He let us keep stray dogs as pets, he helped me nurse injured birds I brought home when I was little, he hated hunting for sport, and he probably would have had a farm if he had the time and could afford it.
He hated corrupt politics and injustice, he hated people who bullied others, he never took himself seriously, but he was confident in who he was. He always had perfect hair, he took pride in his looks, and he could be in a room with anyone and fit in.
I’ve had years of anger, I’ve had years of peace, I’ve had years of feeling so much I became paralyzed by it. But I’ve never been able to tell this part of the story, and that’s okay for this year.
My dad was Anthony Frederick Hawk, he was 37 when he passed he would turn 51 on December 12th this year, he has 3 grandkids he never got to meet. He is the reason I am who I am today, he was my best friend and he is missed dearly.
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Carving out my grief and loss they charcoal and tears, @daniellejabrams you would have had 90 days, and I celebrate our sobriety together, we may be in different dimensions, but your experience, strength and hope will transcend, fill so many hearts with healing from the suffering of addiction and mental illness. You were a fierce, powerful light in the shadows that cast despair upon so many of us. May your memory be for a blessing always dearest friend and comrade. I love you always my Queens sister, lover of cats, art, coffee, teaching, so much, I will carry forth in your memory. Charcoal on board 16” x 20” 2022 Work in progress #nancyrodrigoart #danielleabrams #nycartists #memorial #grieving #mentalhealthawareness #suicide #addictionawareness #healingart #outsiderart #artistsoninstagram #artvideo #artistmemorial #teachingartists #bereavement (at South Slope, Brooklyn) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgRtj9zr5M3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#nancyrodrigoart#danielleabrams#nycartists#memorial#grieving#mentalhealthawareness#suicide#addictionawareness#healingart#outsiderart#artistsoninstagram#artvideo#artistmemorial#teachingartists#bereavement
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The Stigma Surrounding Addiction in Developing Countries
Explore the pervasive stigma surrounding addiction in developing countries and discover the importance of empathy and compassion in dismantling barriers and challenging negative beliefs.
Introduction: The Importance of an Empathetic and Compassionate Approach
In my third year of pre-clinical studies, I had to write a research paper in Biochemistry on nicotine addiction with emphasis on the brain pathways and neurohormonal mechanisms involved. It was an interesting study to conduct, but in retrospect, my biases still tainted my perspectives on cigarette addiction. In my immediate…
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#addiction#AddictionAwareness#BreakTheCycle#EndTheStigma#FreedomFromAddiction#HopeNotDope#mentalhealth#MindBodySoulRecovery#RecoveryIsPossible#RecoveryJourney
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🤖🎸 Dive into the electrifying world of Go Away Robot as they unveil their latest single, "Strange Days," blending the raw energy of punk with the pulsating rhythms of electronic music. 🎶💥 Born from the depths of the pandemic, their music captures the essence of unusual times, addiction battles, and the quest for identity amidst chaos. With a backstory rooted in diverse punk/hardcore scenes and a stance against automated technology, this trio is redefining genre boundaries. Tune in to explore their journey, the stories behind their music, and what makes their live shows an unforgettable experience. #GoAwayRobot #StrangeDays #ElectronicPunk #NewMusicAlert
Make sure to stay connected to Go Away Robot on all platforms for new music, videos, and social posts.
IG: https://www.instagram.com/go_away_robot/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goawayrobot
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@go_away_robot
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/go-away-robot
Bandcamp: https://goawayrobot.bandcamp.com/
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4Si1LIGUJnCfr8qRnAOUSn
Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/go-away-robot/id1027543469
Website: goawayrobot.com
#addictionawareness#antiautomation#dancepunk#demetrius-reynolds#dini#electronicpunkrevolution#getcrazywithus#goawayrobot#newmusicrelease#punkdanceoff#punkhardcore#sanfranciscoscene#strangedayssingle#vigilantes-radio#vigilantesradio#vrl#whodiniblak
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Alcohol Treatment Hollywood - Invigorate Behavioral Health is a comprehensive program designed to address alcohol addiction and promote lasting recovery in individuals residing in the Hollywood area. Located in the heart of Hollywood, this treatment facility offers a supportive and therapeutic environment for individuals struggling with alcohol abuse. Invigorate Behavioral Health's alcohol treatment program employs evidence-based practices tailored to meet the unique needs of each client. The program begins with a thorough assessment to understand the individual's history with alcohol, any co-occurring mental health disorders, and other contributing factors. Based on this assessment, a personalized treatment plan is developed, incorporating various therapeutic modalities to address the physical, psychological, and emotional aspects of addiction.
#recovery#recoveryispossible#addiction#addictionawareness#alcoholfree#alcoholicsanonymous#alcoholismrecovery#boozefree#keepitsimple#life#los angeles#california
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Reframing You along with Micheal’s popular online addiction treatment program, he offers in-person recovery groups, psychological assessments, neuropsychological assessments, substance use assessments, and family support using the CRAFT Model of Addiction in Victoria BC.
join the WhatsApp group chat https://chat.whatsapp.com/GAh3J8LS5zIKk41ynHriEv or visit us at https://shorturl.at/qstO8 Or go to https://homebasedrecovery.ca or reach out directly to us by phone/text at 778-700-2830 or email [email protected].
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“I don‘t want this. But I want it so badly.“
#amazon prime#amazon#prime#christianefserie#christianef2021#christiane f#wirkindervombahnhofzooserie#wir kinder vom bahnhof zoo#amazon series#heroin#heroinrausch#heroinsucht#quotes about heroin#black tar heroin#heroin addict#heroin addiction#addictionawareness#addictionrecovery#drugs addict#drogen#sucht#suchtmittel#suchtproblem#suchtdruck#babette#babsi#Babette döge#babsi d#babsi döge
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Roarwellness Rehabilitation Center: Substance Abuse Awareness Program
Welcome to Roarwellness Rehabilitation Center's Substance Abuse Awareness Program!
Join us for a series of informative and inspiring YouTube videos where we'll dive into various aspects of our Substance Abuse Awareness Program. From understanding the root causes of addiction to learning effective coping mechanisms and relapse prevention strategies, our experienced counselors and therapists will guide you every step of the way.
#RecoveryJourney#AddictionAwareness#MentalHealthMatters#SubstanceAbuseSupport#RehabilitationCenter#MindBodySpirit#HolisticHealing#SobrietyGoals#InspirationForRecovery#BreakingTheStigma#SupportiveCommunity#WellnessWednesday#Youtube
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Exposing The Truth About Tiger Woods Prescription Drug Addiction Problem | The Golf Caddy
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Uncover the untold story of Tiger Woods' battle with prescription drug addiction in this eye-opening video. As we delve into the struggles of one of golf's most iconic figures, we shed light on the broader issue of substance abuse in the high-pressure world of professional sports. Join us on 'The Golf Caddy' for in-depth analysis and discussions that go beyond the fairway. If this video resonates with you, please like, share, and comment below to join the conversation. Your support helps us bring these important stories to the forefront. Subscribe and hit the bell icon to get notified about our latest videos. Together, let's explore the real challenges behind the glamour of the greens.
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Day 1 of something new, because I want it, because I can. #day1 #y12sr #addictionrecovery #addictionawareness #yoga #yogapose #scorpionpose #armbalance #backbend #yogastudent #yogateacher #blackyogateachersalliance #hrwoc #selfmastery #selfhealing #wellnessjourney #vegan #veganmuscle #medicinal #yogatherapy #onahawk #firehawkyoga https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch_ONRqjFOH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#day1#y12sr#addictionrecovery#addictionawareness#yoga#yogapose#scorpionpose#armbalance#backbend#yogastudent#yogateacher#blackyogateachersalliance#hrwoc#selfmastery#selfhealing#wellnessjourney#vegan#veganmuscle#medicinal#yogatherapy#onahawk#firehawkyoga
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What if it really isn’t you?
What if you’re not actually the one who’s “socially awkward” or “combative”? Maybe what you really do is just: Tell it like it is.
Maybe other people feel awkward themselves because you’re not conforming in that moment.
Maybe it’s those other people who don’t actually know how to be Real.
And maybe the real reason why they feel attacked is— because what you’re reflecting for them causes them to have to think about certain scary things.
And then they feel real fear about where they’re living and that’s what makes them uncomfortable.
Dealing with the #WholeTruth causes disruption.
And, a lot of people simply want their own troubles taken care of.
They don’t want to have to think about how what is happening demonstrates universal global shared evil.
#GetReal, #BeReal, #TellItLikeItIs, #MakeThemFeelUs,
#BeClearAboutThat,
Music is “curious 0N_18mi” by Achim Behrens (aka “Setuniman” @ https://freesound.org/people/Setuniman/) - http://www.setuniman.com/
Video credits:
okan akdeniz from Videezy.com (https://www.videezy.com/members/okanakdeniz) - https://www.storyblocks.com/video/portfolio/okanakdeniz -
https://audiojungle.net/user/okanakdeniz
Nontanun Chaiprakon from Videezy.com (https://www.videezy.com/members/tavan-501)
ahmet odabas from Videezy.com (https://www.videezy.com/members/ahmetodabasi35) - ttps://www.dreamstime.com/ahmetodabasi_info
#youtube#GetReal#BeReal#TellItLikeItIs#MakeThemFeelUs#BeClearAboutThat#palworld#madeyoulook#madeforme#rainyday#forbiddenromance#finals#america#mlpinfection#oscars#nikkihaley#american#angeldust#mobilegaming#addictionawareness#judges#happyhouse#galentines#contest#legalsystem#slushie#legaltiktok#beclearonthat
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