The worst part about anything that’s self-destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.
These past few days, I've been sober. I left my emotions dormant. Drinking demons to fix the leaking pipes like duck taped wrapped around a water hose. The problem wasn't addiction; no, it was the feeling of not feeling. Not feeling the pain, tiredness, depression, anxieties, alone, problems, not hearing the voices, and the brokenness. It was the novicane to the pain like a toothache. Addiction is the feeling that it gives you; the comfort of not being alone. Not alone from the outside world but in your head. That dark place you get trapped at sometimes. Now I feel everything, overwhelmed and overflowed of feelings that I thought I would hide. I thought it was dormant, but it just became more torment. Yet, these past few days, I've been sober.