#actually fuck you
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If you ever find my tumblr,
And- you might.
I sincerely just want to say, from the bottom of my shattered soul-
FUCK YOU.
I deserved better and you know that.
You fucking knew that.
#mentally exhausted#writing#reading#poetry#poem#romance#literature#lost love#mental health#love story#BPD#NPD#LTABJ#mentally fucked#what the fuck#heartbreak#heartbroken#sad thoughts#sad girl vibes#Actually fuck you
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TRAVIS MY BELOVED
I HATE YOU PONY TOWN FUCKERS ESPECIALLY YOU HOMESTUCKIES YOURE SO FUCKING MEAN
(i am a homestuckie)
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Fuck you for spoiling the album.
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vets must be the fucking spawn of all evil because tell me why I've always been able to pay at my appointments, have never been wrong in saying when & how ill be to fund my appointments, and have been a generally very reliable person but the one time my cat needs emergency medical care and i don't get paid until Friday its like well. none of that matters actually. have you tried killing yourself? come back when you have the money on friday.
#ri speaks#i feel like im in a fucking torture landscape#shes fucking 8 months old and vomiting blood but i guess that and my history of being able to pay means nothing#'have you tried taking out a small loan from friends or family?' fuck you#actually fuck you
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While a marginalized person may lag behind when it comes to culture, and end up using outdated language, there's literally no such thing as an outdated experience. Whatever lives we've lived, and feelings we have about them won't be swept under the rug because they make someone uncomfy.
#politics#oppression#lgbtq+#actually disabled#actually trans#actually queer#actually fuck you#on my shit again
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Me: we have a unit test in like 10 minutes, i know you’re exhausted after the diploma but we really have to cram for this.
My absolute shit brain:mmmmm tumblr
Me: fuck
#sobs uncontrollably#i’m so not ready#who the fuck puts a test on the day of a diploma exam#like if you do that#actually fuck you#adhd stuff#living with adhd
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today on the train home the guy next to me was on his phone and at one point i saw him go on tumblr and he just had like. a normie dash. like it was all photography. of nature and architecture. he was using tumblr the way a heterosexual landscaper for rich people might use instagram. i actually had to watch his screen for a few seconds to be sure it really was tumblr because i was so taken aback by the content he was viewing. this is why algorithmless websites are so beautiful btw because i genuinely didn't know that this side of tumblr even existed. he didn't even so much as scroll past any text posts.
EDIT: look i'm not going to turn off reblogs but i cannot stress enough that THIS WASN'T A HIPSTER BLOG DASH IT WASN'T AN AESTHETIC BLOG DASH IT WAS THE MOST WILDLY GENERIC COLLECTION OF IMAGES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING OR BEING A QUIRKY FANDOM TUMBLRINA WHEN I SAY "NORMIE" I GENUINELY MEAN "SO NORMAL THAT IT CIRCLES AROUND TO WEIRD". CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME? HELLO?
#steph's post tag#also no more ''um actually there is an algorithm and this is proof'' THERE ISN'T AN ALGORITHM IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT THE FUCKING FOR YOU TAB#LIKE THE DASH IS A CHRONOLOGICAL FEED OF BLOGS YOU ALREADY FOLLOW. I DISCOVER BLOGS ORGANICALLY THROUGH THE ONES I ALREADY FOLLOW.#IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AN ALGORITHM ON TUMBLR THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM.
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#love how this is actually about something but it's so broadly applicable i dont want to actually make that specificity clearer#original text: oh you think you're soooo fucking smart. with your fucking convoluted pretentious sentences#anyways the sticker is also extremely relevant and i'm tired of this post being popular
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How many more mistakes am I going to make?
How many more nights am I going to be holding myself to sleep because somebody decided to love bomb me and break all the promises they made.
How many more “I love you! I’m so happy, You are all mine, I don’t want you seeing anyone else—
but all of a sudden I’m not ready to be yours because I’m too scared of making any sacrifices for you.
Even though you gave me the sun, the moon, and the stars.
Even though I just witnessed you scrape up the last bits and pieces of your fucking soul bloody off the concrete — It is not enough.”
Is that what you wanted?
My soul?
Take it.
There’s nothing left.
When you move on—
My heart is going to cave deep inside of my chest.
In the void of nothingness, I will become a black hole.
When my atoms are scattered across the universe so far away from you and the precious way I stared at your hands tracing mine.
The way our energy connected and how we spoke a language unknown to man every single time our eyes met.
I’ll sink into oblivion.
Maybe, just maybe, that’s where I can create an untouchable life.
I’ll create a universe of my own where nobody can touch me, ever again.
The truth is, I think— worse, than all the bad poetry I honestly could ever write.
The truth is that they want someone less broken.
The truth is— they keep me in their prayers wondering how I became such an unworthy mess.
“Do you believe in god?” They say. “No” I said as I hold a jagged mirror to their faces showing them my creator.
#poem#poetry#lost love#reading#poems on tumblr#literature#love story#mental health#mentally exhausted#writing#sad thoughts#bpd awareness#bpd thoughts#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#heartbroken#heartbreak#hurt/comfort#shitpost#actually fuck you
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they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes
#book 24#the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this#greatest hits#all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way#and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs#a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls#not exactly war crimes but Ok#sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys#can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head#please be normal#will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it#and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about#why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks'#you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it#anyway#mine#asexuality
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Man just doesn't stop fucking MURDERING white men who've done very shitty things
Edit: Yes I'm aware that Hbomb wasn't really The Guy to take down Wakefield, and Wakefield was gotten by Deere, however it was for the meme
Edit two: When referring to Shapiro I was talking about the Aquaman clip
#hbomberguy#cassie rambles#he got bencil chaperone for being FUCKING STUPID#he got andrew wakefield for being LITERALLY THE FUCKING WORST#he got tommy tallarico for being a COMPLETE FUCKING FRAUD#and now he's gotten james somerton for being a massive fucking plagiarist#AND HE'S TOPPED THE VIDEO OFF THROUGH DONATING ALL THE MONEY TO THE ACTUAL CREATORS AND SHOUTING OUT QUEER CREATORS!!!!#GODDD HBOMB YOU. YOU GODDAMN.#BIG FUCKING SHOUTOUT
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
#transgender#trans history#transsexual#transphobia#Magnus Hirschfeld#holocaust#holocaust denial#book burning#j.k. rowling#jk rowling#just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed#and we will always exist#if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit#queer history#queer#lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt#lgbt history#edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month#also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it#it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs#and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had#also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2#Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices#considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived
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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?
#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins#don’t say it (I’m gonna say it)#The Child is The Price#but i mean come on#as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck#i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in#its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity#time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him#and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent#not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions#regardless of whether there is a god#for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name#atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of#and all on his and your behalf#you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too#and what's more dangerous than that?
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Your personal triggers and squicks do not get to determine what kind of art other people make.
People make shit. It's what we do. We make shit to explore, to inspire, to explain, to understand, but also to cope, to process, to educate, to warn, to go, "hey, wouldn't that be fucked up? Wild, right?"
Yes, sure, there are things that should be handled with care if they are used at all. But plenty more things are subjective. Some things are just not going to be to your tastes. So go find something that is to your tastes and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and trying to dictate universal moral precepts about art based on your personal triggers and squicks.
I find possession stories super fucking triggering if I encounter them without warning, especially if they function as a sexual abuse metaphor. I'm not over here campaigning for every horror artist to stop writing possession stories because they make me feel shaky and dissociated. I just check Does The Dog Die before watching certain genres, and I have my husband or roommate preview anything I think might upset me so they can give me more detail. And if I genuinely don't think I can't handle it, I don't watch it. It's that simple.
#this post is directly inspired by that goddamn Stop Setting Horror In Hospitals post I keep seeing#fuck you actually I don't care if YOU find it triggering#plenty of my disabled friends including myself like seeing hospital horror used to examine systemic ableism and abuse by doctors#you don't have to engage with it#but you also don't get to say it's not allowed to exist anymore#jackass#original post
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