#actually adhd though
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Disabled people (both people with physical disabilities and people with psychological disabilities) should be able to get housing, food, medical needs, etc met without having to work or stay in school. ...Okay, really, everyone deserves access to free or affordable housing, food, and medical care, but disabled people ESPECIALLY deserve it because if I, a law student with "low support needs" autism, depression, GAD, OCD, and ADHD, cannot afford to take a break from school and take a semester off because I'd have to start repaying my loans because I had to drop down to three credits last fall and because I would have to get a job, so it wouldn't really be a break (which, I have had one job in my life, and I'm not fully convinced it wasn't a fluke, and also, trying to maintain a job when you have disabilities is difficult), I can only imagine that disabled people with higher support needs are even more fucked than me when it comes to being able to get housing and food and medical care without much, if any, funding.
Yes, Medicaid, Medicare, Food Stamps, and housing programs exist in the US, but, uh, I hate to break it to y'all, but that doesn't fully fix the problem, at all. There are a lot of old apartment complexes that are straight up inaccessible if you use a wheelchair. I'm living in one now. Applying for Medicaid and other programs can be a pain in the ass, especially when you're disabled.
"Just live with your parents!" My parents were emotionally abusive and emotionally neglectful, transphobic, and they literally harassed me so much during my 1L year that I still have nightmares.
"Live with a roommate!" I tried to. It went fucking terribly.
"Are you really disabled if you're able to be in law school?" YES. YES I AM.
Actually, on that note, law schools and the law profession need to become more accommodating for disabled people ASAP. Buck v. Bell needs to be overturned. Courts should be wheelchair accessible. Having to get past seven plus different forms of ableism just to graduate and pass the bar is ridiculous. Seriously, can we get some resources for disabled people in law school and the law profession, please?
Disabled rights matter, and we have every right to be able to live in peace and get our needs met, regardless of our support needs, disabilities, or anything else.
#disability#disability rights#actually autistic#actually adhd#actually disabled#ocd#actually ocd#lawblr#disabled law student#US centric but it has to be said#In all seriousness though please I need a semester off#actually traumatized#cw abuse mention#accessibility#real lawblr
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Never Forgot
Based on this post.
Steve knew something was wrong when she ran out of the room, choking back tears.
He felt bad, felt like there was something missing, but he didn’t remember her. Thinking about it, he realized he didn’t really remember anything.
“Robin?” Dustin asked when she all but ran out of the hospital room.
She stifled a sob and collapsed onto the bench next to him, holding a hand over her mouth. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Dustin, he… he doesn’t remember me.”
Dustin took a deep breath and very carefully did not freak out. “Okay. You stay here, I’ll go talk to him. See if we can shake it loose or something.” He rolled his eyes at the look she gave him. “Not literally, Buckley, jeez. Keep your pants on.”
He squared his shoulders and walked into the hospital room. Steve looked fine, if tired—hospital lighting never did anyone any favors—but the absent smile he sent Dustin spoke volumes. “Hi,” he said quietly, stilted in a way he never was anymore. Not with Dustin. “Um, can you apologize to her for me? She seemed really upset and I’m not sure what I did but I think it’s my fault.”
Dustin sighed and sat in the chair by Steve’s hospital bed. “You really don’t remember her, huh.” It wasn’t a question, so Steve didn’t answer. “And I’m guessing you don’t remember me, either?”
Steve picked at the blanket on his lap. “I’m sorry.”
“Jesus fuck,” Dustin whispered, screwing his eyes shut. “Don’t apologize, Jesus, it’s not your fault. It just… sucks.”
Steve snorted. “Imagine waking up and only remembering one person.”
Dustin looked up at him sharply. “One person?”
Steve shrugged. “Guess I’d be a pretty shitty boyfriend if I didn’t, yeah.”
“Boyfriend?” Dustin blinked. “Steve, you’re not dating anyone.”
Steve frowned. “I am. Maybe you don’t know him? Eddie? Eddie Munson?”
“Eddie- Christ, Steve, of course I know Eddie, and you two aren’t dating. You’re, like, as straight as they come.”
“No- no, I am, I’m dating him, I’m- we’re-”
“Whoa, okay, hold up, calm down,” Dustin said, holding his hands out. “It’s fine, dude, okay, we’ll figure it out later but I don’t think you should be stressing this hard after just waking up.”
Steve hummed. “What, uh. What actually happened to me?”
Dustin sighed. “The doctors said your body essentially performed a hard reset. You’ve been running on fumes for too long. You collapsed from sheer exhaustion. At least you didn’t hit your head this time, though maybe that would’ve prevented you from losing your memory, so who fuckin’ knows.”
“Language,” Steve chided, then blinked when Dustin looked at him excitedly. “I don’t know where that came from.”
Dustin just laughed. It was only a little forced. “You’re just incapable of not being a mom.”
——————————
Robin went back in next, lightly tapping Dustin’s shoulder as she passed him in the doorway. He shook his head, and her heart sank. “He-” Dustin shook his head, bit his lip. “He thinks he and Eddie are dating. Eddie’s the only person he remembers.”
Robin gave him a little half-smile. “He’s had a crush on Eddie for a while. I didn’t realize it was this bad, but.” She shrugged. “I’ll talk to him. You call everyone else?”
“Yeah.”
She took a deep breath and walked into the room. “So,” she started. “You really don’t remember?”
Steve shook his head, eyebrows pinched. “I’m sorry. I wish I did.”
“Dustin said you remember one person?”
“Mhm. Eddie.”
“Right. And you and Eddie? What are you?”
Steve frowned even deeper. “Boyfriends. If we’re this close, shouldn’t you know that?”
Robin shrugged. “I’d like to think so. That’s why Dustin and I aren’t convinced you are dating. Maybe your memories are just… really vivid daydreams.”
“You really think so?”
Robin sighed heavily. “I don’t know what to think, Steve. Hell, I didn’t even know how bad it was until you collapsed. Some soulmate I am.”
“With a capital P,” Steve said, holding up a hand before Robin could say anything. “Sometimes certain memories are triggered. It’s… like a puzzle piece slotting into place. But I’ve got about a million more pieces missing. I can’t see what that specific piece connects to.”
Robin hums. “Okay. So you remember Eddie. And if I say Hellfire..?” Steve just frowned. “Or… Metallica?”
Steve smiled. “Yeah, I know that one.”
“Did you know that before I said it?”
Steve nodded. “Hellfire’s related to Eddie?”
Robin chuckled. “You could say that.”
“What is it?”
She laughed again. “I think I’ll let your boyfriend explain that one.”
“Even though you don’t believe we’re dating.”
Robin spread her hands. “Soulmates with a capital P, Steve. I can’t think of any reason you wouldn’t at least tell me. Especially since you know—err, knew—I’m a lesbian.”
Steve frowned. “Maybe Eddie didn’t want to? Does he know?”
“Yup.”
“Oh.” He frowned again. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “I’m not asking you to have all the answers. Especially now. Just… think about it, yeah?”
“I will,” he promised. “Um. Are you okay?”
“Jesus, Steve.” Robin laughed. It was only mostly hysterical. “Of course you’d still be thinking about everyone else. I’m fine. Or- I will be. You just take care of yourself, dingus.”
He chuckled. “Will do, Robbie.”
She sighed. “Another puzzle piece?” He nodded. “Alright. I’m gonna go track down Dustin and see where he’s at with all the other ankle-biters.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” She lingered for a half-second, then sighed again and walked out.
——————————
He was released two days later. Drove himself home, Robin in the passenger seat and Dustin in the back row. Dustin quizzed him about the rest of the Party the whole way home, made sure Steve knew their names forwards, backwards and upside down, as well as what everyone was like. “Max is kickass,” he said. “Like, she’ll absolutely smile in your face as she knees you in the balls. And it’s the kinda smile that strikes fear into a man. She’s awesome. And-”
“Okay,” Steve said, amused. He didn’t know how Dustin could go that long without a breath. “I’ll know what you’re talking about as soon as we get out of the car and get inside, right?”
Dustin yelped when he looked up to see them parked before scrambling out the door and running inside.
Steve grinned at Robin, who grinned back, before they made their way inside, albeit at a slower pace than Dustin had.
Steve vaguely recognized everybody, but his attention focused in on a very specific person. “Eds.”
Eddie smiled, small and soft and sweet, one of Steve’s favorites. “Heya, Stevie.”
Suddenly he couldn’t help himself. He had to be with Eddie, right then, it couldn’t wait, so he didn’t. Practically flung himself at Eddie, like he knew Eddie would catch him (he did). Attaches his mouth to Eddie’s, a silent promise, I never forgot you, flowing between them.
When they pulled back, Eddie stared at him like he’d hung the fucking sun. “You remember?” Eddie asked in a whisper.
“Never forgot,” Steve promised, at the same volume.
“What. The actual. Fuck,” Robin said. Eddie and Steve froze as they turned to face her and the rest of the Party, who were all staring with the same expression.
“Fuck,” Eddie whispered. “We forgot to tell Robin.”
#Dustin: not us?????#Eddie: no bc you’d be annoying af about it#eddie munson has adhd#steve Harrington has adhd#they’re both my precious babies and I love them#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#steddie fic#stranger things#stranger things fic#st fic#muse deserted me but I actually mostly like what I have#I’m begging someone. anyone else to do it better though#starambles
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If You Have ADHD Why Are You So Quiet?
I forget what I’m going to say (even while I’m saying it)
I speak very quickly (I get embarrassed, misheard, and often told to “just slow down”
I forget words, names, and sentence structure
I’m exhausted
I’m concentrating on listening and processing
I don’t want to interrupt (when/how am I meant to join in)
I have thousands of thoughts occupying my brain
I’m concentrating on my body language (whilst tying to read yours)
I struggle to speak about things I have no experience or interest in
I’m afraid of rejection (RSD)
I CAN Network Ltd
#adhd#adhd post#why ADHDers may be so quiet#adhd things#adhd experience#adhd brain#adhd struggles#a lot of these describes many of my traits#I’m not sure if I have ADHD though#and I’m not sure if I should self diagnose#what do you all think?#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#I CAN Network Ltd (Facebook)
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(source: me, on twitter)
#adhd#actually adhd#adhd tag#abcs of adhd#abcsofadhd#though actually i think i first posted this on tumblr#so this is a tumblr post of my tweet of a tumblr post
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having adhd (or just generally being forgetful) is so fucking frustrating because you’ll lose something you literally just had in your hand and then proceed to go on a 45 minute quest to find said lost thing. meanwhile, you’re both the detective and the suspect, just trying to follow clues and patterns that make no sense. i’ll lose something, then grab my brain by the collar and go, “where tf is my charger. u just had it”. and my brain will just be like:
#actually adhd#adult adhd#attention deficit disorder (add)#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#object permanence#forgetfulness#I hate it so much I have to hunt through clues as though it’s not my own brain and my own lack of object constancy#some nts will be like aw adhd is so cute and quirky meanwhile I’m fist fighting my hippocampus and defective dopamine receptors in an arena#adhd is in no way cute or quirky I break down crying on the regular bc it’s just so incredibly frustrating to not be able to remember#if u romanticize mental illness or neurodivergency I will steal all your bones
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as promised: jess' les amis fanfic rec list ✨
this is mainly e/r, a little bit of e/r/c and a few courferre
This is just the stuff that was in my bookmarks on ao3 when I started writing this post (months ago lol sorry it took so long). Going through I was shocked to see so many of my faves weren't actually bookmarked so I will for sure do a part two when I find them again, and have also added heaps of new fics to my bookmarks since then, but for now 25 fics is enough 😂
many of these will be rated E and will have sexual content, some are straight up pwp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ok first is my ultimate fave that isn't even on ao3 anymore, but thankfully is on the authors tumblr, and that's:
Gnomon by luchia
50-80k words (?) (bc it's not on ao3 i'm estimating)
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
terrorist/assassin Enjolras my beloved ever. My fave are the "charming young man capable of being terrible" fics obviously. This one is my #1 e/r like in my head this is it's own canon. & this series has my fave e/r smut scenes ever. I still daydream about a Gnomon tv show...
- trigger warnings bc it's not on ao3 so doesn't have tags: murder, gun and knife violence, bombs, conversations about the deaths of children. this is not healthy relationship fluff but it makes for a 🥵 dynamic that's for damn sure.
also linking the rest of the series which is up on ao3 still, even though it is officially abandoned and unfinished - i am going to break my ultimate rule right off the bat and link an unfinished series bc I like it so much.
stupid terrorist boys by luchia
series, 5 works
200k words
rating: M and E
here we have gnomon's prequels, two sequels, and some one shots in between 🫶🏻
if you're here for kinky pwp Senselessly Happy and Unsuspecting could be good stand-alone (but it's better when reading in order). I would say read Gnomon first on tumblr then read the rest in order on ao3.
Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell
50k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
Enjolras is cursed for speaking out against the gods, Grantaire is there for him.
will I ever shut up about this fic? Never. fave fave fave. the world building, the mythological/religious system, the writing, the "I love you" "I don't think you do, actually" scene URGH!!!! I think of this fic every time i hear chopsticks. Everything happening with courf/marius/cosette, and the genius inclusion of social worker Fantine my beloved. This is one of those "could be it's own novel" fics.
and the sequel from Enjolras' pov 😭 - Left Unsaid
World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile
185k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes it's the top fic yes everyone probably knows it but it's good for a reason. THE fake dating high school au fic that I broke all my rules for back in 2015. I refused to read unfinished fics, let alone T rated high school fics, yet I remember waiting for the updates for this one as it came out, messaging mutuals on the day the last chapter was released. and every time I reread I remember why. Brilliantly written, the pining, the angst, the miscommunications. All the Joly and Bossuet scenes.
honourable mention to the scene where Joly is so excited for the battle of the bands, then next scene starts with "I think it's more of a sitting night today" the realest simple yet most gut punching illustration of chronic pain that gets my ass every time.
Lovesickness by idiopathicsmile
11k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire, Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta
(we're gonna see a fair bit of idiopathicsmile on here)
this is one of my absolute favourites. not only bc I quote "hit by a truck full of shirts" all the time. a Joly pov fic!!!!!! my beloved!!!!! I'm a BIG JBM fan (they are essential to me when I'm writing grantaire) and love fics that stay true to his friendship with Joly and Bossuet. also I love when Enjolras is a giant dumbass who thinks his feelings for Grantaire is a mystery illness 😂
Still the Same by The Librarina (tears_of_nienna)
74k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
ok ok ok. listen. Yes. in this fic, Enjolras IS an fbi agent... and u know i'm the first and last to scream acab always...
that being said this is fully still one of my fave e/r/c fics. Enjolras and Combeferre are married & Enjolras needs to work with art thief Grantaire (fave) on a case. also that one bit at the end when Grantaire *redacted* 👀🫣
cupbearer by illuminate*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
series, 4 works
124k words total
ratings: T, M & E
Enjolras/Grantaire
this series!!!!!! VAMPIRE ENJOLRAS!!!! thrall Grantaire!!!! canon era AND modern au! REINCARNATION!!!! i'm eeeeaaaaattiiiing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
More Than Just a Game by ecaitlin
36k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre
Fake dating courferre 😭 this one is so good for the desert scene alone 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 one of my fave courferre fics
Good Intentions by ecaitlin
95k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre, background Marius/Cosette, Joly/Bossuet, Bahorel/Feuilly, and Enjolras/Grantaire ofc
THE les amis hogwarts au. 95k of Courfeyrac pov is always a treat for the system. in their last year at hogwarts, Courfeyrac decides to play matchmaker for all his friends. shenanigans!!!! fuck jkr, but whenever I wanna reread harry potter again I read this fic 🫶🏻 fave courferre ever, and also fave background e/r
if you remembered me by nightswatch*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
one thing about me is I love an amnesia fic! Enjolras loses his memory and Grantaire helps him recover 👀 this one's for the hurt/comfort and miscommunication/not being upfront about shit fans. also there's some past Grantaire/Combeferre and i'm always a fan
Beautiful Music Together by lady_ragnell
31k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
a rare Courf/Marius/Cosette fic for your palette. established Marius/Cosette need a little help from their good friend Courf with their sex life 👀 while the three of them also work on a musical assignment together 😭 prequel to You Dance Dreams kinda 👀
You Dance Dreams by lady_ragnell
61k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
(you can tell when i've found a writer who has a fair few fics and just gone nuts lol, lots of lady_ragnell too)
BALLET AU I LOVE YOU!!!!!! so set in the same universe as Beautiful Music Together, Combeferre ropes everyone into working on his opera, a Midsummer Night's Dream sequel. Grantaire dances as Puck alongside Enjolras singing as Oberon 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
In Defiance of all Geometry by idopathicsmile
51k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
this is a top fave E/R/C fic and a top fave les amis fic of all time! Them living in a co-op and all the little details of how they make it work is sooooo real and anyone who wants to see accurately written community organising in les amis fic it's here! now for the ✨romance✨ - Grantaire moves in to the amis co-op and starts crushing on both Enjolras and Combeferre, who have both been pining for each other for years.
Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell
10k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Enjolras offers his spare room to grantaire - or the one where enjolras chases the sun across the living room floor like a cat. That image has lived rent free in my head for and I am not exaggerating here, 10 years.
Gonna need (a spark to ignite) by FinditAgain*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
47k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
soulmate au! soulmate au with E/R/C!!!!!!! enjolras and combeferre are soulmates who lost their bond as children. when combeferre and enjolras find each other as adults, enjolras is already in an established relationship with grantaire 👀👀👀
secret agent man by goshemily
30k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes another cop one haha 😭 bc if ur not able to contradict urself with the media u like are u even a person? but also I wouldn't recommend if it wasn't a good read for the stairs scene alone 😅 Enjolras and Grantaire need to go undercover as a married couple in a small town.
Leaves in the Void by myrmidryad
16k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this is one i've found since rejoining tumblr late last year that 😭 fully broke my heart bro 😭 space au, enjolras writes letters to everyone when he's accidentally isolated on a ship for what to him was eight and half months but was two hours for everyone else.
Blame Delicate Artemis by hyenateeth
22k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
posting omegaverse on main? more likely than you think!
this is porn with a tiny bit of plot, but also one of my fave for femslash e/r and also..... girl dick. that's all.
omega enjolras alpha grantaire canon era lesbians.
that's enough description to find its right audience I feel
Eyes to Serve, Hands to Learn by myrmidryad
94k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Grantaire runs into Enjolras at a kink club. enter 94,000 words of bdsm porn and pining. mostly dom Enjolras and submissive Grantaire, mostly.
Never Be Satisfied by torakowalski
15k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
dental dam mention! win!
Grantaire gives Enjolras some advice, lends some toys, and then offers some hands on help when she learns Enjolras has never come before 😏
potentially lovely, perpetually human by myrmidryad
20k words
not rated, does contain smut
Enjolras/Grantaire
lots of myrmidryad here too lol
two of my favourite tropes here. 1: supernatural Enjolras who's in control of his abilities except when it comes to Grantaire (see cupbearer series) and 2: nonbinary Grantaire my beloved!!! Enjolras has psychic empathy triggered by physical touch, so he refuses to touch anyone: until his touch starved ass accidentally touches Grantaire and feels what they're feeling 🥹
Witchboy by tothewillofthepeople
series, 8 works
84k words
rating: T, M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this one is a more recent recommendation that I loved, the world building and magic is so good, there's some great background eposette and patron minette which I'm always a fan of.
i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
amnesia fic and fake dating 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 this time we've got Grantaire losing his memories and waking up in a world where he has a really hot boyfriend, but apparently his 1.5 year relationship with Enjolras isn't what it seems 👀
and let's round this out with a classic
Thirty-Two Times by Ark
7k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
the bottom R canon era bible 🙏🏻
i'm sorry i feel like my emoji use is very millennial. jsyk 👌🏻 is me clicking with my nails ok bye 😘
if you want more i'm whorejolras on ao3 go nuts 🙌🏻
#mine#omg me actually doing something i said i'd do only like four months later look at that#adhd one hell of a drug yall#fic recs#fanfic#les mis fanfic#les amis fanfic#e/r#les mis#grantaire#enjolras#les amis#e/r/c#courferre#jbm#les miserables#why is my capitalisation all over the place?? uhh look over there 👈🏃♂️💨#sorry not tagging ppl on tumble even though i know the authors are bc adding the links was hassle enough and also i don't wanna bother any1
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Do not speak to me while I am suffering the unmitigated agony of having done
Too Many Things
#spoonie#chronic pain#spoonie memes#chronic pain memes#neurodivergent#neurodivergent memes#actually autistic#adhd#adhd memes#everything fucking hurts#like fuck holy shit why except i do know why#not totally unmitigated though#i am smoking weed about it
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They put the "hopeless" in "hopeless romantic"
#Yaknow actually that should be the ship name. I don't ship them but for those of yous who do. Proposing 'Hopeless Romantic'.#((he's hopeless she's romantic even though theyre technically both. He is SO hopeless help me))#bbc ghosts#six idiots#thomas thorne#kitty higham#horrible histories#mat baynton#mathew baynton#lolly adefope#Them there#Kitmas#my art#Anyway they are autism x adhd solidarity change my mind
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shoutout to my fellow neurodivergent college dropouts who feel like they can never do anything ever again
#neurodivergent#autism#actually autistic#adhd#actually adhd#tagging autism and adhd specifically#because those are the learning disorders i have#that make everything ever difficult#anyone can tag with their neurodivergency though :)
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Poor girl experiences the tragic entanglement of hyperfixation-fuelled motivation and executive-dysfunction-fuelled paralysis and she is being so brave about it
#why cant i FUCKING WRITE THIS FUCKING FANFICTION IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ALL WEEK#this house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE#(the house is having adhd)#this is actually a psa to anyone following my fanfiction soz no update today im incapable...maybe tomorrow though#im STRUGGLING#adhd problems#les miserables#les mis#victor hugo#les misposting#enjoltaire#enjolras#grantaire#booklr#courfeyrac#exr
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When you start writing a post about your new Spidersona and it somehow becomes an essay on psychedelic indigenous plant medicine, the spirits they contain and the basics of Andean spiritual ceremony-
Y'all I sincerely apologize
#I'm genuinely not joking that's what happened#I CAN'T TAKE THIS ADHD SHIT ANYMORE!!!!!!#I'M SO EXHAUSTED AND I DIDN'T DO WHAT I MEANT TO DO WHICH WAS GETTING TO ASK#in sorry I did nothing today the ADHD got my ass#:(#it's a nice post though but fuck my executive disfunction is killing me#actually adhd#adhd
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I spent some time this week really un-fucking my kitchen (alongside other parts of my house) as I've been filled with energy and motivation, which is good!
Regrettably, I have ADHD so cleaning the kitchen has culminated in me learning how to make netting and I'm the process of making a string bag because I thought "I need a better way to store my onions".
#adhd#actually adhd#fibre crafts#net making#man though humans sure do love playing with string#this is very sattisfying#did I make the tools out of some cardboard I fished out of the recycling? yes#are the holes too big? maybe also yes but we'll see
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just me, or...
#my post#actually autistic#actually adhd#some of those thought MVs be bangers though#daydreaming#maybe “the cinematography” making you cry is something ppl wouldnt get lol#at the same time it almost feels like a george-ish line
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Happy disability pride month to anyone with depression. You have a disability too- the constant fatigue, exhaustion, not being able to get out of bed, emptiness, all of that, it's all part of this disability. Just because it's not a physical disability doesn't mean it's not a disability. I know it's easy to feel like it's not, but it is, and you aren't stealing valor by saying that. People don't normally feel exhausted all the time. People don't normally feel unable to get out of bed, or do stuff they love doing.
You're disabled too, you deserve a seat at the table.
#cassie rambles#disability#depression#actually depressed#disability month#this post is mostly for me because. it's hard for me to say i'm disabled even though a) i have adhd b) i have depression#both of which are disabilities#i guess it's because depression is seen as the ''being sad'' disorder#which no the fuck it isn't and if you think that's all it is you don't know shit about it#the way i describe it is. feeling like a weighted blanket#not in a good way either. feeling heavy and tired and unable to move without a lot of effort#easier comparison is feeling like you're weighed down by a bunch of sandbags#and like your mind is slower#it's just. constantly feeling exhausted. all the time#it sucks#mental disability
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fanon my beloved vs. fanon my beloathed
beloved
- zack's nicknames for cloud (spikey, sunshine, cloudy, etc)
- kunsel has hacked into shinra's database and could cause massive damage to the company on a whim by tapping a few keys
beloathed
- "zack's so stupid lol he's such a himbo"
- "cloud's just a cocky asshole who doesn't care about anything but money and himself"
#kunsel#zack fair#cloud strife#crisis core#final fantasy vii#final fantasy vii remake#these are just a couple examples#there are some things i really love about fanon but#some of the stuff i see in fics makes me wonder if we played the same game#free my man (zack) he has adhd#free my man (cloud) he has autism#they've both got a ton of trauma too#also cloud's got a gap in his development from being stuffed into a pod of magical goo at 16 and being stuck there for years#he didnt have any friends growing up either#i rarely see people talk about these developmental gaps and that can really change how someone interacts with people#but like cloud deeply loves all of his friends even though he's awkward at showing it#he only knew jessie biggs and wedge for a few days and he cared about them all so much already!#cloud isnt even actually cocky either#but he's got a lot going on with his identity and memory that i could write a novel about so i'll stop here#dont even get me started on people thinking zack is an idiot#there's already been a lot written on the subject of zack's adhd so i will refrain from going off about it#okay done rambling for now
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thinking about the Percy Jackson show that’s being made right now, and as someone who was obsessed with those books for years and then got late-diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability (Dyscalculia), I really hope that the show actually shows how Percy struggles amongst his peers before coming to camp. I expect that the show will portray the positive aspects of neurodivergence since it’s so tied to all the character’s powers in the books (like Dyslexia being because their brains are hardwired for reading ancient Greek)--and I’m excited about that!--but I would also love to see the struggle that comes with being ND and not ever fully assimilating with NT peers.
give me a Percy Jackson who gets kicked out of school not just because he acts out or has unexplained incidents with his powers, but who struggles in school and has to repeat a grade or two because his Dyslexia is so bad. A Percy whose teachers don’t believe him when he says he’s really trying because his grades are straight D’s and F’s despite his best efforts. A Percy who is a loyal and eager friend but doesn’t always understand NT communication and doesn’t realize when he takes his sarcasm and joking too far and gets shunned for it. A Percy who, at the tender age of twelve, is totally burnt out because no one knows what to do with him, who has awful self-esteem because he’s been told his whole life that he’s failing, who believes he wasted his potential already, but whose mom is kind and understanding and fiercely defensive of him to the rest of the world because she knows her child is worth so much more than his ability to fit in or get good grades. A Percy who comes to camp and is suddenly surrounded by people just like him, who excels in battle and finds friends who just get him, who slowly relearns who he is and what he’s capable of, learning that his struggles can be strengths sometimes, and finding confidence and acceptance through this community in a way that he’s never had before.
#i'm sorry this post is so long i got a bit carried away#but i think about how awful my self esteem was and how hard it's been to rebuild it after being told for so long that i just wasn't trying#hard enough and it wasn't even my fault. and it would be so meaningful to see percy struggle while also growing to appreciate how his#neurodivergence can actually be a huge strength sometimes#and i think seeing someone ND acknowledge the good and the bad would probably mean a lot to younger ND kids today#seeing this super cool powerful character also really struggle to fit in and do school that everyone else finds easy#or at least it meant a lot to me as a kid seeing a bit of that in the books even though i didn't realize I was ND#percy jackson#percy jackson disney+#percy jackson show#pjo#adhd characters#neurodivergent characters#adhd#actually adhd#learning disability#dyslexia#dyscalculia#actually dyscalculic#invisible disability
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