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#absolutely insane instances happening right now

4imhry · 7 months

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tutor-in-disguise/fuckboy!sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis: his fuckboy reputation made your crush on him slightly lessen until recently, he was hired to tutor you without you knowing. you could never be more fucked up at the fact the fuck boy next door was hired to tutor you. big brain came up with a godlike features and a prince charming like charms? absolutely enough to get your knees buckle.

you woke up with beads of sweat forming on your forehead. you were hyperventilating at the fact you just had a wet dream and the boy next door you low-key had a crush on is in it.

a pool of wetness appear on your shorts causing you to let out a grunt. yes. you were still horny. the image of sunghoon being on top of you, railing you inhumanly got you slipping your hand inside of your shorts.

nonetheless, half way nearing to your orgasm, you got reminded again that was your neighbour you were fingering yourself to. it made you slipped your fingers out of your dripping cunt.

“fuck.” you cussed frustratedly.

you cringed at the thought of sunghoon kissing you. it unbelievably felt real. that was very odd you thought. the fact he looked insanely attractive in the dream made you shut your eyes in realisation you don’t want to find yourself falling for the fuck boy next door.

your head were still preoccupied with the dream of sunghoon railing you–practically drilling you until you rolled your eyes in pleasure. you then thought if this was the consequences of watching your neighbour watering the plants in a compressed sleeveless T-shirt.

you couldn’t blame your hormones for acting up too quickly just by the seeing of an attractive young man. for instance, it happened to be a young man named park sunghoon. he was attractive. very attractive.

not that you wish he would actually fuck you but both you barely talked to each other or whatsoever despite going to the same school or living literally next to each other.

“y/n?” the sound of faint knocking sounds could be heard.

“yes, mom?” you scurried on your feet and swung the door open.

“will you dressed up properly because we got something to discuss about with a person I hired to tutor you.” before you get to open your mouth in protest, she peeked a bit to see what the latter was up to downstairs.

“the boy is downstairs. he’s very charming.” your mother smiled in glee. “I,m sure you would have liked him–”

“you hired someone without asking me?” you ignored your mother’s comments about the unknown person. “background check is important, mom.”

“because I wanted to surprise you, my dear. I noticed you have been keeping an eye on him.” your mother nudged you on the elbow with a teasing smile yet expression remained stoic. she noticed you have been keeping an eye on him?

who is “him” in question?

she slung an arm around your shoulder and her other hand waving around, drawing a nonexistent vision board in the air. “don’t worry. I have met his parents and throughly did a background check on him.”

your jaw dropped onto the floor the moment your eyes fell on the familiar figure sitting at the living room with all smiles on his face, talking to your dad. his hair was neatly styled and the scent of his cologne slowly infiltrating your senses as you approached him.

your dad excused himself as soon as you sat at a couch near sunghoon, leaving only the two of you. “hey.” he began.

his voice knocked you out of your thoughts. “hey.”

“we should get along since we’re mostly going to spend a lot of time together.” he reached his hand out and you unknowingly, found yourself staring at him, too dazed by his unbelievably unreal looking features.

moreover by the fact you dreamt of him before meeting him right now was creeping you out.

he lifted an eyebrow, glancing at his stretched out hand briefly before looking back at you. “oh.” you cleared your throat and grasped his hand, lightly shaking it. “yeah we should.”

a subtle smile can be seen on his lips. you found you heart pounding at the small gesture. you can’t let sunghoon affected you just like he did to others.

“so, are we starting tomorrow?”

“yup. 2 hours session every monday until wednesday.” he pressed his lips into a thin line and opened his mouth again. “do you prefer afternoon session or night session?”

“whatever works best for you, sir–”

“I believe we’re the same age and I should be the one asking you that.” he tilted his head to the side a bit, a single strand of his hair fell on his forehead.

your lips parted for a sec before continuing. “alright. um, night session. my brain works best at night.” your eyes not being able to me his which looking intensely at you at the moment. “i found myself not being able to process information properly if I study during afternoon. I easily got sleepy.”

“very well then. night session it is.” you can feel his gaze raking all over your face, not in a weird way of course nonetheless the boy was trying to take in how endearing you seem in his eyes.

he saw you at school before from afar but he haven’t had the chance to see you up close, not at this distance to see how pretty and innocent looking you looked.

the boy able to sense the discomfort feeling you were feeling. “are you alright with me tutoring you? did you agree with the whole thing in the first place before I come here?”

you eyes averted to your mother coming from behind him, with a tray of tea cups in her hand as she settled them down on the table. yes.” you said unhesitatingly, averting your attention to your mother.

he knew the answer weren’t a genuine one.

🐧

“HE IS GOING TO TUTOR YOU?” yunjin shrieked, receiving a few judging stares from people passing by the two of you.

you mumbled a thank you to the seller before linking arms with yunjin, immediately dragging her to an empty table. “lower down your voice.” you sternly replied.

she muttered a small sorry before properly clasping her hands on the table with a demanding expression on her face which reads spill-all-the-goddamn-tea. “i had no idea she would hired him out of all those potential tutors in this state.” you rolled your eyes.

“hey, you should be happy about this. you basically got the chance to got him wrapped around your fingers and woo over you.” she sarcastically cocked her head to the side, her blonde hair swaying a little.

“why should i when there’s a rumour lingering around he fucked like 4 girls a week just to get off?”

“okay but still.” she lifted an eyebrow as she took a bite of her sandwich. “guys with experience are so good in bed.”

she sighed when you remained a stoic expression. “what happened to your undying crush for him? you liked him a few years ago.”

“but that was a few years ago.” you grunted and buried your face in your palm. “the rumour ruined my impression on him. i thought he was a goody two shoes with no drama.”

“but that’s what makes him more interesting.” you looked at yunjin with widen eyes who was staring at you with determination on her face, encouraging you to keep liking sunghoon.

“nah not for me i,m good.” yunjin’s smile fell.

“you’re saying it as if you’re gonna move on from him that easily. sunghoon’s charm has a chokehold on you for 4 years, y/n.” you pouted at your best friend’s comment because apparently what she said is true.

it won’t be easy because it’s park sunghoon we’re talking about. “being near him often would ignite your feeling for him again.” she smiled, taking the last bite of her sandwich before caressing your other hand.

what yunjin said was presumably to be true. seeing him again up close with a considerably close distance for you–his strong charismatic and expensive aura radiating from him allures you in, as if chanting a mantra your head, telling you to forget about your move on attempt.

“how’s your day, y/n?” hearing your name rolled of his tongue made you tense up in your seat. “i want to hear about your day.”

“good i guess. nothing interesting happened today.” you uttered flatly. “how about you?”

“same goes for me. but I could say jake, a friend of mine failed to woo the girl he likes. it’s so funny.” he chuckled, reminiscing how flustered his friend looked when the girl lacked of reaction the moment the Australian asked her out.

“I think that’s one of the interesting thing that happens today..” he trailed off, his eyes fell on you who already looking at him. those doe eyes of yours. they’re really something isn’t it?

“so,” he cleared at his throat and glanced at you momentarily before took one of his books and placed it at the table, “which topic you’re struggling with? you may ask as many questions as you want.” sunghoon leaned back, his eyes raking all over your face.

you flipped over the page of your textbook to the topic you’re struggling with. he nodded and without wasting anytime, as if he switched into a different person, he got into a teaching mode. sunghoon’s voice becoming more precise and stern as he explained about the topic.

however, the boy was aware to not sound too intimidating because he wants you to be comfortable around him. “so, do you understand everything so far? am I taking things too fast?” you shake your head and he smiled in relief.

“good girl.” he didn’t fail to notice the slight smile on your lips when he praised you. he picked up his chair and decided to sit next to you. you kept wondering if he was doing this on purpose because his hand often brushed against yours whenever you pointed you struggle at a certain question.

“how bout this one? it’s different from the questions I did earlier.”

“it’s pretty easy actually.” he smiled and proceeded to take one of his pencils, leaned slightly closer to you and explain the precise calculation of the question. firstly, you knew you failed at being attentive and most importantly, failed at an attempt to move on from sunghoon.

his god like features was insane from up close. the way one strand of his hair fell on his forehead just make his features look more..alluring? your breath hitched when he suddenly turned towards your direction, your lips were inches from his.

“do you get it now?”

“y-yeah.” no. you didn’t understand a thing other than staring at him for a good minute.

…

“this part is going to be a little difficult because you gonna need to memorise–” his eyes averted from the textbook to you who had fallen asleep, your cheek slightly squished which was perched on your palm.

you were adorable. the sight before him unexpectedly made him folded. hard. light snores coming out of your pretty lips just made his heart pounded faster.

“it’s been 1 hour. you deserve a break.” he whispered, tucking a hair behind your ear to get a better look of your face. a small smile made its way to his lips.

you let out a whine, switching your position to burying your face in your palms. he chuckled at the sound you just let out. the simplest gesture you made was enough to pull his heart strings.

he had never felt this way before. he surely did fucked around a lot however he was never the one to catch feelings. nonetheless, you were different. he gradually founded himself grew more fond of you the longer he laid his eyes on you.

sunghoon had this feeling you’re a fragile and an innocent glass which should be protected from all the harm in the world however at the same time, wouldn’t it be nice to have you arching your back for him, hearing your sweet voice screaming for his name.

he ran his slender fingers through his hair, letting out a heavy sigh as he observed your sleeping state. what has gotten into him?

…

sunghoon joined your family to eat dinner since you parents keep insisting him to do so. the boy had no choice but obliged; watching how your parents seem so happy and welcomed to have him here.

you knew it was wrong to still fantasies about your hot neighbour even when he’s sitting beside you. the way his biceps flexed when he picked up a dish or picked up a glass of juice was enough to make your underwear pooling with arousal.

you barely eat, not when he grazed his long fingers on your exposed thighs. you wondered if that unintentional but it was clearly not when he let his large hands rested on your thigh for more than 10 seconds.

you drew in a sharp breath the moment he squeeze your thigh, earning both of your parent’s attention.

“this spaghetti is a little spicy than usual.” you forced a smile and fortunately, your parents agreed and threw a few remarks here and there.

“yeah. did the restaurant change the chef?” your mother wondered.

“whatever. it makes this spaghetti tastes better.” your dad beamed.

you silently let out an exhale as you took a glance at sunghoon, mouthing “what.are.you.doing?”. your eyes then briefly fell on his huge arm which was still resting on your thigh. “get your hands off me.”

sunghoon smirked at your reaction, finding it endearing. “feisty.” he mouthed before taking the last bite of his spaghetti. you rolled your eyes, harshly smack his arm, causing him to wince as he rub it and his lips broke into a small smile later.

the interaction between the both of you were noticed by your parents, noting it as a friendly exchange.

his hand then slowly crawled up to your inner tight, a subtle smirk formed on his lips when he realised you’re wearing a skirt. good choice.

he softly caress your inner tight, then play with the hem of your panties which barely cover your core. your breath hitched when his long fingers pushed your panties aside, giving him access to rub your clit.

You whimpered softly, however the sound was drained out due to your parents immersive talking about their company. Your chest heaving up and down, your hand tightly gripped onto his thigh as he played with your wet folds and circling your clit sensually.

faint wet and squelch sounds can only be heard by the two of you. “h-hoon..” you whimpered as he began slipping his two fingers inside of you. he bit his lip due to how hot you looked–lips parted, your chest heaving heavily, your core dripping with arousal.

he wanted to take you on right then and there.

“fuck.” he murmured. you shut your eyes in pleasure as your head lowered, not wanting your parents to see the state you were in however sunghoon occasionally flashing smiles at you parents as if nothing happened. his hands surely work wonders, thrusting in and out of you.

he then turned to you, softly smiling as he fingers you while his thumb rapidly rubbing your clit, sending shockwaves to your whole body. “you like that?”

you nodded eagerly as you bucked your hips up for more friction. sunghoon can’t deny he was getting a hard on from watching you whimpering softly and squirming just from his fingers. he was eager to see how you looked like when he ruin you with his cock.

…..

“really? in front of my parents?” you coldly stated as you escorted him to the front door. (forcefully need to escort sunghoon)

“yeah. what about it? maybe they thought we’re getting along.”

“don’t do it ever again. you don’t want that perfect image of yours you created ruined before my parents, don’t you?”

“I thought you liked it when I did that to you.” He said gruffly, leaning closer. his tall figure looming over you.

you got flustered by his comment and looked away briefly. “it’s not appropriate for a tutor to do that to his students.”

“you’re saying that as if I’m not around your age.” he smirks as his finger tuck the hem of your skirt and smoothly pulled you close to him, your body bumping against his. You can clearly feel the bulge in his pants made the tent in his black slacks grew tighter.

“don’t pretend like you didn’t fantasise about me doing such lewd things to you.”

part 2? or nah? ;)

#enhypen #sunghoon #jake sim #jay enhypen #jungwon #enhypen heeseung #enhypen sunghoon smut #enhypen smut

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hazyskyline · 10 months

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“unrequited, terrifying” | k. taerae

desc. | loosely based off the song “from the start” by laufey. where (y/n) cannot bear to be just friends with kim taerae.

pairing | kim taerae x male!reader

genre | angst? into fluff, songfic

word count | 1072

warnings | unrequited love kind of

bold text - song lyrics

——————————————————————————

don't you notice how,

i get quiet when there's no one else around?

me and you and awkward silence

it was another instance where you and taerae were left alone in a room together. you hated these times because of how you felt towards him. you could never work up the courage to talk to him while he would do whatever. for the both of you, it was awkward silence.

don't you dare look at me that way

i don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same

everytime taerae smiled at you, with that stupid, amazing, wide, bright smile, you wanted to scream. everytime he flashed that smile at you, once you got past the part where you mindlessly yell in your head, you thought about how he smiled at everyone. he wasn’t into you like you were into him.

oh the burning pain

listening to you harp on ‘bout some new soulmate

“she's so perfect” blah blah blah

when you were hanging out together with friends, taerae would always talk about his girlfriend. it was like he would purposely yell it directly in your ear to make you jealous. you wanted to meet this girl who he described as “so amazing at everything she does!”

oh, how i wish you'll wake up one day

run to me, confess your love, at least just let me say that

every day, you daydreamed that he would run to your house in the rain. he would bang at your door, drenched in water. you would open the door to see him, and he would rant about how he just broke up with his girlfriend because he realized that he couldn't lie about his feelings anymore and how he loved you the entire time and then he would go in for the kiss.

when i talk to you, oh cupid walks right through

and shoots an arrow through my heart

“hey (y/n), what are you thinking about?” taerae said, snapping you out of your daydream. the two of you were hanging out. in fact, it was the first time in a few months. he was looking at you through his disgustingly adorable glasses, with his signature shining smile.

“that i could go for a bite..” you said quickly, which wasn’t a complete lie. you were a bit hungry.

“honestly, me too.. wanna get lunch?” taerae asked innocently.

it would be absolutely foolish of you to say yes. practically insane! but before your brain even processed this, your mouth started to move.

“i would love to have lunch with you!” you said cheerfully.

“oh great another awkward lunch date with him,” you thought to yourself.

shortly after though, you gained some resolve. if nothing was going to happen, why bother even trying to like him. of course, it was much much much easier said than done, but you weren’t going to let your unrequited love for taerae determine your relationship with him.

even if he would never date you, it would be alright.

——————————————————————————

it was time for your lunch date with taerae. you had spent some of the time getting ready, but most of it was trying to shove your feelings for him even further down than they already were.

taerae honked at your door and you exited your home, preparing for what would most likely be a hard night.

——————————————————————————

the car ride was actually quite bearable, all things considered. sure there were moments of silence, but the two of you mostly bonded like you used to. you were doing a good job at hiding your feelings.

the two of you actually managed to talk for the whole lunch and even managed to get a few photos together. it was now right after lunch, you and taerae were outside the restaurant.

taerae looked at you and gave you his million dollar smile, “thanks for today! i had a really great time.”

you smiled back at him, “yeah i also had a really great time! do you wanna do this again sometime?”

“of course!”

the two of you locked eyes, before taerae pulled you into a hug. “i had a really good time (y/n), it feels like forever since we’ve talked like that.”

and that was all it took for all your feelings to come rushing back to the surface. it hit you fast that you couldn’t be “just friends” with him. it hurt too much to hear him talk about his girlfriend, to not be the one that holds him.

you softly pulled away from the hug. “taerae.. i can’t do this anymore.”

he had an expression that was a mix of confusion and concern. “what do you mean?”

confess i loved you

your eyes darted nervously, before your mouth opened to confess your thoughts, “taerae, i’ve liked you for so long, and i can't just be friends with you. i tried so hard to accept that you were dating this girl, but it hurt to hear you talk about her. i wanted to be her, desperately. and i could never explain this to you! i didn't want to completely shatter our relationship!” your eyes locked on his eyes.

as you prepared to get shot down you saw his priceless smile.

“(y/n).. i broke up with her a month ago. i broke up with her because i realized that.. that, i was in love with you. i've wanted to tell you for so long, but i thought that you wouldn’t feel the same.”

your lips were just slightly parted, surprised by the information you just received.

taerae grabbed your hands, wrapping his hand around your fingers and holding them out in front of you. “i would love it if we could hang out sometime? as not friends.”

just thinking of you

you closed your mouth before grinning, “does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend, kim taerae?”

he let go of your hands before interlocking your fingers with each other. he kissed your forehead before saying, “of course, boyfriend.”

you were practically jumping up and down when you gave him the biggest smile you could physically create.

“well then will you drive me home, boyfriend?” you asked, a hint of sarcasm in your tone.

“what kind of a boyfriend would i be if i didn't?” he replied back, also joking.

the two of you hurriedly went back to taerae’s car, speeding back home.

i know i've loved you from the start.

——————————————————————————

a.n | this took a while to write because i just didn’t have motivation 😓😓. it’s here now though! i love taerae and this song is just too good to not get inspired off of. go stream it before bewitched comes out tmrw!!

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barebevil · 5 months

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I'll start with my pitch. This is a full soliloquy that i break out into whenever i talk to someone who shows just the barest modicum of interest in reading the book. I'm a great conversationalist don't worry about it. THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT IS A BOOK ABOUT BARU CORMORANT. When baru is a child her home is subject to foreign imperial expansion, by means of economics and education, she is discovered by an agent of this empire to be a math genius and is enrolled in an imperial school where she makes it her mission to prove herself an impress the powers that be in order to earn a favorable position and climb the hierarchy of power within the empire, for you see she means to behold the very machinations of the imperial machine. and she means to burn it all down from the inside. but in order to do so, to climb, to impress, she has to compromise everything about herself. she cant have personal values, personal relationships, morals, and no goals but this one: more power and more influence. She cannot be herself or she will doom herself and everything she's already sacrificed will have been for naught. (At this point is when I'll usually pivot and say the following--) I've cried over a book before, I've been moved to tears by books before, sometimes because something is sad, or it is joyous, whatever. i've cried over books before is the point, and i thought, as i was nearing the end of THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT that perhaps this would be such an instance. I thought, and no spoilies but, well, i was in the final stretch and thought that probably the end might make me cry. Reader it did not. Have you ever read something that was so viscerally upsetting that you skipping right past crying and went straight to nausea? because that's what happened to me. Not one tear, but a single sentence made me feel like i was genuinely going to throw up. Fuck this book is so fucking good. I really thought i might throw up thats how sad and upset i was. and it was PERFECT. What happened was exactly what needed to happen. Again, no spoilies but oh my god. Nauseous. AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST BOOK. We then follow Baru as she achieves every single one of her goals, and goes more insane in the process. With every victory she destroys herself more, with every sacrifice she curries more favor. And she only becomes more insane and more horny. And now you may ask yourself, what does horny have to do with it? EVERYTHING. The higher she climbs, the more she injures and destroys and compromises herself, the more separation she creates between her mind and her body, the more removed she becomes from herself, the harder it becomes to unify the two, to satisfy any carnal need, harder to do as much as identify her own desires much less realize them. She loses herself, she wins, she loses more, she wins more.

The most common criticism i've seen online of the first book in the serious is that it's boring. First of all get better soon. second of all, YES Baru is an accountant she deals a lot in economic policy and money and numbers but oh my god its THRILLINGGGGG. I happen to find math quite romantic and poetic and I know that's not everyone's bag, but when in book 2 a whole page is dedicated to the description of one mathematical axiom as a metaphor for a situation Baru is trying to deal with, here i WAS almost moved to tears. It's such a good book.

Oh and did I mention? (I did not) The characters are all fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. It's wall to wall fucking hits, Seth Dickinson my close personal friend Seth Dickinson oh my god your mind your mind!!!!!!!!!!!

#and do not get me started on the cousins Tain #i have to make another post #i cant do that now i already need a break and a fucking cigarette from just writing this one #baru cormorant #the traitor baru cormorant #the masquerade #seth dickinson #ummmmmm long post

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nourrris · 1 month

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I hate, and love Steve Rogers.

there is no character who's given me as many conflicted feelings as he does, i can't tell if i absolutely hate his guts or adore him helplessly, one side is coming from the fact i love tony stark, and steve rogers is an absolute cunt for the way he's treated him at times (which some instances are understandable, but i still hold civil war against him) and then theres the version of him that i hold so close to my heart, excluding his confident demeanor and severe savior (guilt?) complex, he is still the man who couldnt help himself and risk his life for everybody else, the man who was pushed into a situation so life changing, experiencing the quite literal horrors of the world and humanity, both pre and post serum, he lived a rough life, especially with the timeline he lived in originally, and then the entire ordeal with bucky, the horrifying realization what's happened to one of the closest people in his life, what he's become, and the fact he's alive. (not that he ever got the chance to mourn anyways)

and thats not to talk about how his life was ultimately changed completely within such a small time frame for him, prior the modern years, living through a whole different world, about to sacrifice his life to mankind, then he wakes up 70 years later, the love of his life has aged in a way he didn't get the chance too, the world has became something completely separate to the timeline he lived in, he has to learn new social customs, new ways to adapt to how society exists, how is he meant to grieve or mourn through any of this at all? he had absolutely no time, he was consistently put into the highest of stress situations.

i hate how civil war went down, he gave away his life he had began building, of course there were multiple different ways to act and he definitely did not choose the right one, but i'll give the smallest inch of credit and say i'm not sure how i'd act either if i found my best friend (who was supposedly dead, now a deadly assassin) was back in the limelight for the worst reason possible, one that was causing the entire world to hate him, but not only that - his identity of actually still being alive is now public for the entire world to see, even if the man they saw hadn't actually been him.

i can't say i would have taken his side as confidently so brashly, almost killing a person you could almost consider a close friend in defense when they just found your supposedly dead (now assassin) bestfriend is at fault for who killed his parents, tony acting irrationally was rather reasonable, i'd understand bucky defending himself, steve through? i'd say its different, maybe?

he's also rather arrogant in same situations, especially in 'the avengers' when he says 'Big man in a suit of armor, take that away and what are you?' as if tony wasn't the genius behind making every little detail in the suit, constructing it all single handedly, and the prototype that had been created in a very spontaneous manner which still worked miraculously better than any person managed to create in a much larger time frame, and a much less stressful situation.

i cant pretend and believe that steve must know this information of course, they seemed like they had been roughly introduced to eachother, but also to make such a claim against somebody like him who's father was also an insanely credible genius, he should have given him at least some benefit of the doubt, or actually attempted to learn more about him before going straight for eachothers throats like a bunch of kids.

another part of that quote that irked me was the sacrifice one, i frankly do not understand that part, the entire idea of iron-man is one big ol' self sacrifice, there is no safe (or really sane) way to make a machine like that and go into conflict way too big for one person to overtake, he's almost died multiple times for the sake of helping society, the idea of getting his information right isn't even the biggest issue, its that i just genuinely dont understand why he keeps spouting out things with absolutely no context? he says he see's the videos, but its a little hypocritical steve rogers of all people is letting other people define who tony stark is when he lived his entire life being defined what society deems of him just by a single glance, unless of course he just saw one random iron-man video of the stark expo performance with the girls. (which god, i cringed at myself.. why tony, why)

still to act as confident as he did, i would have assumed he attempted to well.. learn more about the guy. i genuinely think this part itself is a poor writing issue though, it felt weirdly out of character, but i can understand it from a certain viewpoint i guess.

once more, another point i wanted to make this time was somewhat against tony's actual response to what steve said, of course in a way hes completely correct where "everything about him came out of a bottle", in a physical sense, but steves over eager need to help was always very evident, his courage in place since the dawn of the world. although, he realistically would likely have never been able to become the man he is without the serum, so well technically theres not much to fight back there, but the serum could have distinctively (and quite literally has) gone to the wrong hands, i'm not sure if i should be applauding him for having morals, but at last, its difficult to say how anybody would react to such a life altering experience, and not really even getting the chance to understand whats happening, or how it works.

i've likely gotten off track, but point is i think he's a very flawed character, but at the same time still one of the kindest people with a heart made out of gold, albeit a bit of a blockhead at times, he truly tries, and he was frankly put in a very unfair position, no matter what he signed up for, there was no world it could have possibly entailed what he's gone through so far, even if he doesn't regret it, or would do it a hundred times more.

anyways, i hate him and love him all the same, and still very strongly hate his ending in endgame (as a total writing issue, i cannot possibly blame the character).

thank you for reading this ramble, so sorry if this upset you, or if i actually got any of the lore wrong, do correct me if i have!

#steve rogers #captain america #tony stark #iron man #marvel mcu #mcu

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robininthelabyrinth · 10 months

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The Other Mountain - ao3 - Chapter 8

Pairing: Lan Qiren/Wen Ruohan

Warning Tags on Ao3

———————————————————————-

“I still can scarcely bring myself to believe that you have concealed our marriage from the world,” Lan Qiren grumbled, going through his usual evening routine to prepare for bed.

Wen Ruohan sniggered.

“Is that what’s keeping you awake at night?” he asked, pulling out a piece of correspondence from the middle of the pile on his desk without looking at it.

His subordinates in charge of sect matters knew better than to send him anything less than critical, on pain of literal torture – unfortunately, matters pertaining to the running of his own sect or anything relating to the other Great Sects all fell in the category of critical, which meant there was always something to do. Wen Ruohan knew he’d been getting more and more unstable over time, but he wasn’t yet insane enough to totally abandon the business of running his sect to a subordinate. He wasn’t sure even insanity would be enough to make him do that.

Also, he’d noticed that doing his paperwork in anything other than the order it was in drove Lan Qiren out of his mind with annoyance that the other man tried very hard not to show.

Sure enough, there was a brief pause as Lan Qiren wrestled down his irritation at the sheer disorderliness of it all.

(It involved him very obviously reminding himself that it was against the rules to strangle his spouse, with relevant citations. Wen Ruohan enjoyed every moment.)

“I am not being kept awake,” he said testily, as if he wasn’t going to hit the end of xu shi and fall asleep like a stone, sure as clockwork. “It is merely – ”

“That it is completely unbelievable, yes, you’ve already mentioned that several times. Still, I’m a little offended that that was what you found most memorable about this evening…”

Personally, Wen Ruohan was more inclined to give the honor to the absolutely delicious fucking he’d managed to sweet-talk Lan Qiren into, right over his desk the way he liked it. He’d had him give it to him slow and relentless, dragging it out over the course of what felt like a full shichen, and, even better, he’d managed to convince Lan Qiren to continue talking over the situation with the Yueyang Chang clan almost the entire time. There was something particularly enticing about hearing Lan Qiren use the same dull monotone he used to drone on and on about his sect rules to analyze the most efficient means by which Wen Ruohan could and imminently was going to conquer four – four – cultivation sects in a single strike, all while pounding away at him without even the slightest hitch of breath or unsteadiness…

Wen Ruohan would have to see if he could get him to do it again in the morning.

“It would be one thing if I believed you had an actual political purpose behind your actions,” Lan Qiren said, ignoring him in favor of being stuck on a much less interesting part of the evening. He sounded aggrieved. “My brother, for instance, I can understand his motivations in keeping it quiet. He is undoubtedly gathering the resources for the war against Quanjiao Liu, for which he will need to convince the sect elders and any relevant allied sects that he may wish to get involved, and that will be difficult enough without also publicly airing a family issue. Being overlooked for as long as possible can only aid him. But you…you are just keeping it quiet for now so that people will talk about you.”

“And so I can see their faces when they find out,” Wen Ruohan corrected. “That part is key.”

Lan Qiren was far too well-mannered to throw his hands up in frustration, but it was close. In retrospect, Wen Ruohan was amazed that the other man hadn’t thrown something at his head yet. There had been one time when they were rival sect leaders where Wen Ruohan had managed to drive him to it, relatively early on, and it had been so unexpected that no one had believed it had actually happened despite witnessing it with their own eyes. Even Wen Ruohan, normally the first to take offense at a perceived slight, had simply let the whole thing pass by without comment, too taken aback to be angry, and Lan Qiren had never done it again.

Really, he should have known all the way back then that Lan Qiren wasn’t nearly as boring as he appeared on the surface.

“Tell me,” he added, since Lan Qiren was starting to visibly sulk again, “is it my motivation you can’t believe, or the fact that I’ve succeeded in keeping it quiet?”

Lan Qiren paused and thought about it, and then, very begrudgingly, admitted, “The latter.”

Wen Ruohan had thought so.

“The people that drove you here were my subordinates, sworn to silence on pain of being dismissed and sent to the Fire Palace. I’ve found that to be much more effective than imposing a rule against gossip.” Wen Ruohan smirked faintly at the now extremely aggravated but not necessarily disagreeing look on Lan Qiren’s face. “I’ve similarly instructed – ”

“Threatened.”

“ – instructed the servants assigned to attend to you to recall their discretion, and all of them have admirably kept their mouths shut. I admit it might have been a little more difficult to keep it hidden if you’d remained in your own courtyard…”

Or if Lan Qiren hadn’t had that delightful misunderstanding of his own position, which was only getting funnier and funnier as time went on.

A genuine first wife, particularly a new one marrying in later, would have made a point of making herself known to her new household upon her arrival – including, for instance, by summoning all the household servants for review in order to establish her power. When Lan Qiren had first arrived, Wen Ruohan had assumed he’d do the same, though he hadn’t quite decided whether it would be for purposes of espionage or simply for the sake of propriety, going through the motions. Lan Qiren had even asked him something or another about the servants, and he’d thought that was what he had been referring to, though it turned out he’d meant something completely different. In fact, Lan Qiren had instead merely treated himself like a somewhat more honored version of the guest he’d been as acting sect leader and left all matters of the household in the hands of his “wife”…

Wen Ruohan still couldn’t think about it without wanting to laugh.

He was looking forward to enlightening Lan Qiren about his mistake at some point, but he hadn’t figured out how to do so in a way that would maximize both his enjoyment and Lan Qiren’s mortification. At the moment, it was far more fun simply to imagine increasingly outlandish scenarios by which it could happen. Some of them involved women’s dresses…

“Of course me staying here is part of your plan,” Lan Qiren huffed, though very notably he didn’t get up to leave. “And here I was thinking that you had decided to breach propriety and custom by living together simply in order to be more efficient.”

“I breach propriety and custom simply for the pleasure of doing so,” Wen Ruohan said loftily. “But naturally everything I do serves more than one purpose – and having you easily available in the mornings is certainly an immensely pleasurable benefit. In fact, I forbid you to move back until I’m done with you.”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes.

“Do you have a plan for how you intend to announce it?” he asked, already resigning himself to his fate. “Eventually word will get out, regardless of your threats.”

“I could have you locked up in a place known only by myself and my most trusted subordinates,” Wen Ruohan mused, just to see if Lan Qiren would jump or shudder at the idea of even more involuntary confinement – he didn’t, but he did glare. “That would keep it quiet for quite a long time.”

“I see your spies have told you about the time I spent in seclusion,” Lan Qiren said acidly. “You can stop making jokes at any time, Sect Leader Wen. You are not especially good at them.”

Wen Ruohan put down the letter – a fairly useless one from a relatively important subsidiary sect complaining about some monster or another that they didn’t feel capable of handling, just barely important enough to require the sect leader’s attention – and gave Lan Qiren a thoughtful look.

“What makes you think I’m joking?” he asked, arching his eyebrows. He had been, of course, but Lan Qiren was familiar with his sadism and his Fire Palace. He knew perfectly well that it wasn’t beyond Wen Ruohan to order such a thing without regret. “Do you think I wouldn’t do such a thing to a member of my family?”

He would, of course. There was very little he wouldn’t do to achieve his goals.

“Do not be absurd,” Lan Qiren said impatiently, as if he thought Wen Ruohan was playing coy. “You are cruel, not careless. If you wanted to keep my presence here silent by force, you would have implemented the idea as soon as I arrived, not waited until now.”

Hmm. That was a good point.

“Maybe I wanted to maximize your suffering by letting you enjoy some freedom first. How about that?”

That just got him a full-on scoff.

Wen Ruohan had to fight down his amusement again. Lan Qiren was just as bad at making jokes as he claimed Wen Ruohan to be, but he was quite often inadvertently hilarious.

“Somehow I’m getting the feeling that you’re not enjoying my Nightless City to its fullest capacity,” he drawled. “Have you considered – ”

“If your next suggestion is that you kept me out of a prison cell in order to take advantage of me sexually, I will throw something at you.”

Wen Ruohan choked down an actual laugh this time.

“Now, if it is not too great a strain, Sect Leader Wen, would you answer the question?”

“All right, all right,” Wen Ruohan said, conceding the point, too amused to keep quibbling. “I intend for it to be announced at the next discussion conference, the one being hosted by Yunmeng Jiang.”

Lan Qiren frowned and stroked his beard thoughtfully. “I doubt that Jiang Fengmian will mind being overshadowed. Still, that is a month and a half away. There will be leaks.”

“Leaks, yes, but no confirmation,” Wen Ruohan agreed. “The fact that you were previously in seclusion in the Lan sect is quite useful here – people will doubt any news they hear and seek to confirm it through your sect first, only to fail to find anything there. Even with an extraordinarily effective spy network, there’s no way they’ll be able to know for certain what happened before the discussion conference…and most sects don’t have spy networks like mine. Not even other Great Sects.”

He arched his eyebrows pointedly at Lan Qiren.

“Not all of us are like you,” Lan Qiren said. “My Lan sect does not need them.”

“And yet you always seem to know what’s going on…”

“I understand that the concept may be difficult to understand for so great a personage as yourself, but one of the reasons other sects enter into alliances with each other is to help each other understand what is going on,” Lan Qiren said dryly. “I regularly receive letters from my colleagues with updates – well, I used to receive – ”

“Same thing, different words,” Wen Ruohan said dismissively before Lan Qiren could get upset over his demotion. He had been getting increasingly antsy for lack of real work to do, these past few days; it was clear enough that the appeal of a vacation was already wearing off. Wen Ruohan was planning on holding out to see him squirm a little longer before turning over some of the less critical sect work to him.

(Obviously he wasn’t going to let one of the most talented sect leaders in the cultivation world sit around not doing anything when he could be applying those talents to the betterment of the Wen sect. He wasn’t stupid – and unlike certain other sect leaders, he wasn’t wasteful, either.)

“Having friends is hardly the same thing as having spies. Do you make the same complaints about the Nie sect?”

“No,” Wen Ruohan said, waiting for a half a beat before adding, “because the Nie sect does use spies.”

Not in every generation, of course, and not very often, but Lao Nie certainly wasn’t averse to the practice on moral grounds the way Lan Qiren clearly was. Or perhaps the Nie sect was just better at being realistic.

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes again. He’d started up his evening round of physical activity, which tended to include less sword forms and more alternative forms of exercise – Wen Ruohan’s favorite so far had involved Lan Qiren spending the majority of the evening in a handstand, occasionally shifting over into a one-armed handstand so he could write down rules that he felt he hadn’t properly lived up to. Today wasn’t anything nearly so exciting, just stretches to improve flexibility, though there was a certain appeal in that as well.

“I assume you will want me to make an appearance at the conference?” Lan Qiren asked, as if there was any chance Wen Ruohan wouldn’t. He wasn’t Qingheng-jun, to throw away a valuable asset – Lan Qiren had been able to hold his own politically at the discussion conferences before, and nothing about marriage changed his capabilities. His insights would undoubtedly be valuable, and even more valuable would be the information he’d be able to glean from his connections with sects that would never speak directly with Wen Ruohan. “I will tell you now that I will not sign up to do anything absurd in order to indulge in your penchant for dramatics.”

Wen Ruohan snorted – as if the Lan sect weren’t equally inclined towards dramatic behavior, as long as their hearts were involved! – and looked away from the appealing sight and back at his desk. He glanced over the most recent correspondence he’d picked out, finding upon second glance that it was a letter from one of his subsidiary sects to the south, complaining of an unusual increase in vicious yao; it was the sort of thing he would usually forward on to the Nie sect as an invitation and implicit proposition for their sect leader. He put it aside for the moment and took the next one, a report from one of his spies in the Jin sect about the current health of their finances (still disgustingly healthy despite Jin Guangshan’s increasing mismanagement).

“Nothing absurd, no,” he said, ignoring the way that Lan Qiren immediately grumbled something about the two of them having different definitions of absurd. “You’ll be expected to wear something in my sect’s colors, of course. I suspect that’ll be shocking enough.”

He’d already commissioned something appropriate. Lan Qiren would undoubtedly hate it.

Lan Qiren already looked resigned.

“Additionally,” Wen Ruohan continued, very casually, “I was thinking that we could use the opportunity to revive those summer classes you were always teaching.”

Silence.

Wen Ruohan carefully didn’t look up from the report in his hands, though he wasn’t actually paying it the slightest bit of attention. Getting Lan Qiren to agree to this idea was far more important.

“My…classes?” Lan Qiren sounded – confused. Good, that was a better first reaction than an outright rejection. “What about them?”

“You enjoyed teaching them, didn’t you? I see no reason why you can’t continue.” Wen Ruohan made a show of putting down the report and shrugging. “You’ll have to hold them here, of course, but I can’t see how that would be all too different from what you were doing already. Your students were mostly guest disciples, weren’t they…?”

He allowed himself to look at Lan Qiren, who’d stopped his exercises and was now frowning at him.

“You are up to something once again,” he said flatly. “What is it?”

Wen Ruohan spread his hands. “Is it so difficult to believe that I would want to do something nice for you?”

“Yes.”

Wen Ruohan was surprised into a bark of amusement. Lan Qiren wasn’t out to win his heart through flattery the way his wives had tried to do, that was for sure…but then again, unlike his wives, Lan Qiren had been Wen Ruohan’s political opponent for ten years. He knew him well enough to be skeptical. “Not even as a wedding gift?”

“Even less likely. Try again.”

“We’re going to have to live together for the rest of our lives,” Wen Ruohan said. “It would make my life miserable if you were miserable, which makes it in my own self-interest to make sure you have things to do that you enjoy. Your other hobbies seem to be cultivation with the sword, cultivation with music, and cultivation through meditation and philosophy, absolutely none of which I can do anything about.”

“That’s not true. It’s said that you’re a fine swordsman yourself, is it not? We could spar.”

…that was an excellent idea and now that Lan Qiren had proposed it, Wen Ruohan couldn’t wait to try it out. He hadn’t actually bothered using his sword against anyone in quite a while – his preference in fighting had always been arrays, but he would be embarrassed to call himself an orthodox cultivator if he didn’t know how to use a sword. The last time he’d done so would have had to have been one of his early clashes with Lao Nie, before he’d allowed himself to be convinced to pit his arrays against the other man’s saber…though that actually gave rise to some interesting thoughts itself. Lan Qiren was primarily a musician, not a swordsman; he had to know how to fight offensively with music. It had been even longer since Wen Ruohan had tested himself against a musical cultivator than since he’d picked up a sword…

He dragged his mind back to the topic of discussion. Fighting was only fighting, getting Lan Qiren to buy into his plan to win the hearts and minds of the junior generation of the cultivation world was important.

Power would always be the most important thing to Wen Ruohan.

“We can certainly do that,” he said. “But why not revive your classes as well? Past half-month aside, we’re hardly going to keep each other company forever. It would be good for you to have something productive to do.”

“I am certain you could find something else for me to do if you so wanted,” Lan Qiren said, obviously not convinced. “Were you planning on waiting until I grew so bored that I would be willing to resort to begging before assigning me some duties here?”

No, but now he was sorely tempted. Damn Lan Qiren for being smart.

“Do you not want to teach your classes, then?” Wen Ruohan asked. “You make it sound as though I’m forcing you – ”

“I enjoy my classes, and would be very happy under most circumstances to resume them,” Lan Qiren said. “What I want to know is why you are interested in my resuming them. Nothing you have said so far has been even remotely believable.”

Lan Qiren was, in fact, too smart.

“Fine,” Wen Ruohan said with a huff, rolling his eyes. Perhaps the truth would work where polite fictions had failed, that seemed like a strategy that would work well on Lan Qiren. “I think what you’ve been doing is a fine idea, and I want in on it.”

“In on my classes?” Lan Qiren shook his head. “Why? You have no interest in teaching.”

“It’s not the teaching aspect I care about.”

“Then what?” Lan Qiren frowned. “Surely not the money.”

Wen Ruohan blinked, taken aback. “Money? What money? What are you talking about?”

Now it was Lan Qiren’s turn to look confused. “The classes bring revenue, of course. Only a nominal sum, of course, and we never ask for it, but everyone always insists on paying something to cover their children’s housing and feeding costs. It is almost a little insulting at times, really. As if a Great Sect like ours couldn’t handle a few extra mouths…”

“Wait, wait,” Wen Ruohan said, mind spinning with possibilities. “Are you talking about actual money changing hands? Not just rare treasures and paintings, the sorts of things that get brought as gifts for the teacher?”

“Naturally they also bring those,” Lan Qiren said. “But yes, they insist on paying. I have always assumed it started because some of them wanted to establish a level of distance between our sects, so that they did not feel as though we were looking down at them and doing them a favor for free, and then the rest of them just picked it up in time. Why? Does it matter?”

Your sect literally receives tribute from other sects with whom you are not affiliated! Voluntarily, and without coercion! Of course that matters! Even if they started it as an insult, pretending that they were hiring you like some teacher off the street, they are still doing it, and in doing so have set the precedent to encourage others to do so. It would be one thing if it was just presents, everyone expects that as part of the teaching relationship, but a sect in a lower position giving money to another in a higher position – that’s tribute, not payment.

I can barely get my own subsidiary sects to agree to open their coffers to me because of what that would mean about the relationship between us, setting them as subordinate and me as the master in permanent fashion – and those sects have already sworn loyalty to me!

“I suppose not,” Wen Ruohan said, though judging by the increased suspicion on Lan Qiren’s face he wasn’t doing a very good job of pretending not to be interested. “You’re right, that’s not why I’m interested. But what does my motivation matter? You like your classes, you want to teach them, I’m enabling that. Why be so suspicious?”

“Overly solicitous people hide bad intentions.”

“I already explained – ”

“Sect Leader Wen, please stop treating me as though I were an idiot,” Lan Qiren said firmly. “Anyone else could plausibly say that their own self-interest lies in having a happy household, but not you. If I were making you miserable by being miserable, your answer would be to either eliminate me from your sight or send me to the Fire Palace so that I could know what true misery was.”

Wen Ruohan started laughing.

“Good, good,” he said, finding himself delighted yet again to be so…known. “Fine, have it your way. The truth, then: I think that your classes are the seeds to a ripe harvest.”

“Harvest? Of what?”

“Respect.” Wen Ruohan smirked broadly. “You have dozens of children who have bowed to you as their teacher, promising to be filial to you: a teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime. If you were to ask them for help, they would be honor-bound to at least consider it, if not to affirmatively do it – ”

“Ask them for help? They are children. What could they even do?”

“Having friends is hardly the same thing as having spies,” Wen Ruohan mimicked. “Funny how it ends up reaching the same end, though, doesn’t it? Only no one will ever suspect yours. It’s brilliant, really, and I have no idea how you managed it.”

“You are being ridiculous once more. I have hardly managed anything. You make it sound as though I pulled off some scheme behind the cultivation world’s back – which is not even remotely the case. Anyway, you are simply incorrect. Most of my students do not even like me, much less remember me fondly years later.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that…”

Lan Qiren was shaking his head already, and Wen Ruohan hadn’t even gotten to the bit about how he’d suborned future sect leaders into a position of subservience to him. Not to mention the tribute!

“Ridiculous,” he announced. “Ridiculous and absurd and – ”

He was cut off by a yawn.

Wen Ruohan checked the time and smirked: sure enough, a Lan was better than a clock.

Lan Qiren could stay awake late into the evening, and often had, but it was a matter of willpower and, usually, of getting back up again. Wen Ruohan had found that even on days he’d decided to stay up late, Lan Qiren still usually fell asleep for at least a quarter-hour at his bedtime. On days he hadn’t decided in advance that he had business at night, like tonight, he fell asleep faster than a rock dropped off a cliff falling into the ocean.

“You have completely misunderstood the nature of my classes, and indeed of students. Possibly even children in general,” Lan Qiren said with dignity, pretending his eyes weren’t sliding shut. “We can discuss this further tomorrow.”

Wen Ruohan snorted and looked back down at his paperwork. “We undoubtedly will. I have no doubt that you won’t let me hear the end of this so easily…for the moment, go to sleep. I have more work to do, I’ll come to bed later.”

By the time he’d finished off the next letter, this one marginally more interesting as it dealt with a simmering situation between two sects that he’d been inciting into fighting with each other, and glanced back at Lan Qiren, the other man was fast asleep.

Wen Ruohan stood up and walked over to look down at him.

Lan Qiren had excellent sleeping habits, as one might have expected: he didn’t snore or toss around wildly, not even when he had nightmares, and he didn’t startle awake easily when there were noises or lights around him. Most of the time, he slept deeply, like the dead, and was impressively groggy if forcefully awakened prior to his official waking time.

You could be mine.

It wasn’t the first time Wen Ruohan had thought that.

Mine, really mine –

He couldn’t get the idea out of his head.

It had first come to him when he’d seen the note from Lan Qiren’s nephews, the one that had instigated his little fit of frenzy – one that was however inadvertently so wretchedly, wantonly cruel that it had knocked out even Wen Ruohan’s breath. He’d had the note preserved, of course, and it was even now waiting on the writing desk in Lan Qiren’s quarters for his return.

Naturally, Wen Ruohan was aware that that was the real reason Lan Qiren didn’t return, choosing instead to linger in Wen Ruohan’s rooms like a ghost, but as Lan Qiren had observed, it really did suit any number of his purposes that Lan Qiren stay in his rooms for now, keeping a low profile. It had even ensured that his wives hadn’t been able to cause a fuss, though he was sure that by now they desperately wanted to; he really was being shockingly inappropriate in keeping Lan Qiren with him like this. It was outrageous enough that he was favoring him every night (and sometimes during the day), but sharing a room like this was the sort of thing that only the poor or those madly in love might do.

Not that he cared.

You could be mine.

It had been the note that had revealed to him the depths of Lan Qiren’s suffering.

Wen Ruohan considered himself to be something of an expert on suffering, on the sorts of situations that could drive a man to break and shatter into a thousand pieces, irreparable, and Qingheng-jun in his revenge was clearly intent on achieving just that. He hadn’t just taken away Lan Qiren’s authority, which was always a blow to a man who’d grown accustomed to having it. No – he’d taken away Lan Qiren’s children, children Lan Qiren had raised and loved with all his heart, and based on the content of that note he was treating them without any concern as to their well-being, driving them to desperation.

Qingheng-jun had done it deliberately. Lan Qiren had to know by now that it was deliberate, and that meant that Qingheng-jun had also successfully stolen away Lan Qiren’s sense of security, his serenity, his peace of mind. He’d known that Lan Qiren would torture himself with his worries that his nephews would be suffering from his absence, whether from missing him or being mistreated or even punished, and that was why he’d done it.

And he’d taken even more from Lan Qiren than that.

The seclusion Qingheng-jun had forced Lan Qiren into, the strict seclusion of the type that Wen Ruohan knew Lan Qiren both hated and feared, had wreaked genuine havoc on Lan Qiren’s state of mind. Lan Qiren had tried to conceal it, but it was impossible at such close quarters – close inspection had revealed that he was in fact notably skinnier than he’d been at the last discussion conference, skinnier than he properly should be, and his body was littered with the remnants of old marks, some clearly self-inflicted, and healing slower than they should. Lan Qiren was an exceptional cultivator, but the body followed the mind; he reflected on his skin all of his guilt and sorrow, his grief, his torment, his internal conflict. That the fingers Wen Ruohan had broken had already healed in full while some bruises from months ago remained really said everything that needed to be said about Lan Qiren’s mental state.

Even putting aside his body, there was his behavior, which was equally concerning. There was the way Lan Qiren would at random instances go quiet and distant, as if retreating from the world; the way he would instinctively flinch or shudder at some random turn of phrase; the nightmares he had at night, quiet moans of distress tearing out of him even as he remained immobile, and the way he seemed, upon waking, to find some strange sort of comfort in Wen Ruohan’s own presence there, no matter how subtle he thought he was being about it. Even that meltdown of his, a fit of such violence that Wen Ruohan had initially thought it to be a qi deviation…

That alone was enough to catch the attention of a genuine sadist like Wen Ruohan, but it was the fact that Lan Qiren had suffered all that and gotten up after that had really gotten under his skin. He’d even apologized for the fit, embarrassed, and had continued to try to…to adapt to the new life he’d ended up with. He was as stubborn a man as Wen Ruohan had yet seen, going through all of that trauma and suffering and forcing himself to keep going. To build himself new routines to replace the old ones. To routinely have sex, an activity which he seemed to enjoy well enough but not especially yearn for, with a man he didn’t especially like.

To try to make himself over into a good husband.

Wen Ruohan had to swallow down lust just at the thought of it.

There was something unbelievably compelling about the idea of corrupting someone as pure and intrinsically good as Lan Qiren – no, even better, about making Lan Qiren corrupt himself on Wen Ruohan’s behalf.

Lan Qiren had always possessed an almost astringent purity, unforgiving and inflexible, as immovable as a mountain. It was what had made him so boring, so predictable, in all those years where the only thing he was to Wen Ruohan was a rival and a stumbling block. It was what made him so trustworthy to others, who knew that his rigidity would never let him yield to whim or favor even when it would benefit him to do so. Everyone knew that as long as his rules demanded something, Lan Qiren would do it, and gladly. No matter the cost.

It was his very rigidity meant that Lan Qiren hadn’t even thought of any solution to his present situation other than compliance. It had never occurred to him that he might just try to run away, maybe even return to Gusu to kidnap his nephews and keep them for himself, nor even that he might try to convince Wen Ruohan to take them away from them for him – no, my Lan sect will go to them one day, he’d said, when trying to explain to Wen Ruohan why he couldn’t simply abandon all consideration for the Lan sect in favor of the Wen. The Lan sect was theirs, even if it was no longer his, and therefore he had to do everything he could to support it, and them, and with them being there, even if doing so meant accepting a marriage he did not want.

Even if it meant twisting himself into something new.

Even if it meant accepting that change he so thoroughly hated.

The only thing that could truly tempt Lan Qiren away from his implacable sense of order and rule was that radical Lan heart hiding within his chest. That irrepressible love and concern he had for his nephews, for instance, or the one time he had let slip his disgust for how his sister-in-law had been treated, leading him to vow to never treat his own wife the same.

And at the moment, he believed Wen Ruohan to be his wife.

Wen Ruohan had never had a Lan before. He’d never wanted a Lan before. Those terrifying madmen hiding behind their placid façades had always worried him more than all the other Great Sects put together. To the extent he’d ever considered it, he’d always thought that their insane devotion seemed more like a burden than anything else, something that he’d get tired of and want to shake off in time or which would end up with him waking up with a knife at his throat followed by an attempt at murder-suicide. But in this case, it felt less like a burden and more like…

It felt like power.

Wen Ruohan had always been attracted to power, whether his own or in others. It had been his wives’ cunning that had attracted him to them, an attraction that disappeared as soon as they were no longer able to wield that power except through him; it had been Lao Nie’s martial valor, his ruthlessness and frankly insane recklessness, that had first caught his eye. Lan Qiren had neither skill, being neither a consummate schemer nor an especially merciless warrior. If he was anything, it was only that he was always so genuinely himself: stern, rule-abiding, conservative, moralistic, abhorring any change.

And yet, for Wen Ruohan, Lan Qiren was willing to change. To change himself for him.

Lan Qiren had admitted freely that his first instinct in the Yueyang Chang matter was to think the deal was rotten simply because the Yueyang Chang sect had connived to accomplish their goals through dirty means – that if it were up to him, if the offer had come to the Lan sect, he would have rejected it on moral grounds without thinking twice. He would never have used his astonishing command of the facts or his ability to sort through patterns that others never even noticed to come up with a solution that involved conquest, much less a better solution than the one Wen Ruohan had been considering. A solution that was wholly anathema to his own natural inclinations and priorities.

If Lan Qiren were truly free, he would never have gritted his teeth and tried to find something to compliment in Wen Ruohan’s Fire Palace, which he so obviously despised with everything that he was. That, too, was something he was doing for Wen Ruohan.

All for him. Everything for him.

You could be mine. Really mine, truly mine.

By robbing Lan Qiren of his sect position, his nephews, and even the Cloud Recesses itself, Qingheng-jun had taken away Lan Qiren’s sense of home.

Wen Ruohan had the chance to give it to him again.

And if he did, if he somehow won that wild and crazy Lan heart for his own…then Lan Qiren really would be his, wholly and utterly, without reserve. That same rigidity that refused to let him do so much as lie even when it was for his own benefit would at once be turned into the most unbending loyalty, unflinching and unimpeachable. He would value Wen Ruohan more than anything, excepting only his nephews, who were the same as his sons, and that was an exception even Wen Ruohan found perfectly reasonable. If he won him over…

If he won him over, Lan Qiren could – he would – be a person that even Wen Ruohan, deeply paranoid and often justified in being so, might be able to trust.

Someone who he could trust to be by his side, rather than beneath his feet.

He’d never had that before. Not really.

When they had lived, his brothers and sisters had all had their own interests, even the ones he’d liked the most. Even today, despite his authority being unquestionable, his kinsmen still schemed against him, scrabbling for little bits of power wherever they could eke it out…it would be one thing if they were just trying to make their own ways in the world instead of just following his, but more often it was nothing more than greed and laziness, a feeling of entitlement to power without the willingness to put in all the work it took to get it.

His wives were untrustworthy and duplicitous, and although he liked that about them, it certainly didn’t allow for much faith in them; they would both happily stab him in the back if it got them what they wanted, just the way his first wife did. And just like the first time around, his children followed their mothers. Wen Xu and Wen Chao were at present too young to really evaluate, but from what he’d seen so far of them, they were simply too weak to really stand up beside him instead of merely cringing before him.

His subordinates and disciples…well, they revered him, as they should, but a sense of overpowering awe did not leave room for equality. They would never match him or challenge him, and neither did he want them to; it would only lead them to act like his kinsmen, seeking to scheme to undermine him for their own purposes.

For the same reason, he did not put any stock in friends or allies – he supposed there was Lao Nie, who as his lover was closer to him than most, but even Lao Nie had his saber and his sect and his own interests that he put above Wen Ruohan, not to mention those two wives of his that he’d married without so much a word of notice.

In fact, Lao Nie was a perfect example. Each instance of Lao Nie’s obvious carelessness had driven Wen Ruohan up the wall, infuriating him, and even now it itched under his skin like a scab not yet healed. How dare the other man treat him like that, disregarding him to the point of not even telling him of what was going on in his life? How dare he act as if it was none of Wen Ruohan’s business what he did? Never mind that they’d both agreed from the start not to take their liaison too seriously, each one there for nothing more than a good time; frivolity and lack of caring was Wen Ruohan’s prerogative, not Lao Nie’s. That was why they’d grown more distant these past few years, their encounters fewer and generally less satisfying, more fraught, even at times contentious. Wen Ruohan deserved his lover’s devotion, true devotion, and yet that was exactly what Lao Nie would never give him…

Lan Qiren, though.

If Wen Ruohan could get him, he could be everything that Lao Nie was not.

He could be mine.

Wen Ruohan wanted that. And what he wanted, he got. Only…how?

How could he convince Lan Qiren to devote himself to him and only him? Did he need to push him harder, make him break under cruelty and humiliation? Send him to the Fire Palace to forcefully remake him in the image he yearned for? Or did he need to take a softer touch, gently coaxing him into a sense of security and slowly, giving him all the things and experiences and maybe even people that he yearned for, but at the same time inexorably moving the pieces out from under his feet until he had no choice but to become what Wen Ruohan wanted him to be?

What was the key that would get it to actually work this time, where it hadn’t with his lost brother, where it hadn’t with his first wife, where it hadn’t with Lao Nie? How could he get what he actually wanted?

All good things ought to belong to him, after all. It was just a matter of figuring out the details and being patient – and Wen Ruohan was good at being patient.

He’d start off with the gentle approach, he thought, and shelve the idea of breaking Lan Qiren for now. Once a man was broken, there was no unbreaking him, but it was always easy enough to pick back up later if he needed to. He’d give Lan Qiren a chance to live up to what he wanted, and if not…well. He had other options.

The Fire Palace was always there.

Wen Ruohan reached out and ran his fingers along Lan Qiren’s forehead ribbon.

Do not allow those without permission to touch your ribbon, which is your self-restraint.

Wen Ruohan smiled.

#mdzs #lan qiren #wen ruohan #my fic #my fics #Megafic #points to those in the last chapter comments who guessed correctly :D

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fitzs-space · 1 year

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Has a one asked about impulses markings ( wither curse) or taken notice? How does he explain it or calm them down when they find out it’s a curse, if anyone even knows?

I can never get enough of the boy. Absolutely love how you draw him <3

thing is that he didn't know how or when he got them either. He's genuinely just a magnet for curses and blessings, and he doesn't even notice them because of how often they just get canceled out by whatever else he's got going on. So sometime during s6 he noticed some weird dark marks on his chest that looked like his bones and ribcage, and they kinda got darker when he checked on them, looked like someone smudged charcoal on him really. But it was fine! he just kept them out of sight and out of mind. Sure it became very easy for him to break bedrock, but that came from practice. And the air in the void was a easier to breath, and wither roses just stopped hurting him at some point, but that was all from being in the End a lot to work on that wither rose farm. Like exposure treatments and building up an immunity right. And sure at some point in s7 the makings turned more golden, but that's normal surely. they already kinda changed colours before. And its not like the existence of these markings were affecting him at all. Sure he felt less exhausted and drained and,, dead ish, when they turned gold,,, but they just started a new season! and he noticed the marks around when he was doing all that work with the hippys! its expected he would have felt tired a lot right. And yea some of his scars look a little golden under some lights now, and maybe his blood looks a little more glittery then normal, but its probably just a side effect of always using totems. It'll wear off if he stopped using so many, surely. And Tangos asked about them, so had Zedaph, but It was only brought up because they were curious when Impulses eyes turned more gold instead of brown,, Zed found it fascinating how the markings looked like they moved depending how you looked at them, like the moved with the actual bones under Impulses skin almost. And it isn't affecting him right now, its not like he needs to worry anyone over them. Honestly not even the weirdest thing to happen on the server. Its sometime during s8 that he's talking with Cub about some speedrunning strategies he's been trying to pull off lately, and in the most offhand way mentions how he's debating doing unsafe runs outside of the proper game worlds. his reasoning being that he wouldn't need to worry abut the possible boss curse if he isn't actually trying to kill a dragon. And that just leads into the conversation of what a Boss curse even is, because Impulse hadn't really heard much about those before. And about an hour or so later Cub is laughing his ass off as Impulse goes through all these weird instances he's had and realizing he's had this wither boss curse placed on him, but he didn't even realize because of all the other blessing and curse's he's apparently had, and had just always brushed off the weird symptoms that came with them. Cause that explains how he kept such a sane head compared to the rest of the people in the mycelium resistance, that whole demise thing left him just a little gray without the major blood thirst a lot of the others got, those days when he'd get near insanely good luck then to have the next week be the some of the worst luck one could imagine. The list just kept going. Cub absolutely looses it yet again when he realizes that the curse he tried placing on Impulse during s6 to test some Vex trick did infact work, and was still there even, It just apparently had no affect on Impulse because of some other blessing he had.

#answering the thoughts #headcanon dump #hermitcraft #impulsesv #*Smacks the top of Impulse* this dude can fit so many curses an blessings in him #the Gold stuff is like a Blessing of life casue of totem shit

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thawthebeez · 8 months

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hey guys. tumblr user thawthebeez back at it again with yet another haikyuu essay B) the topic of today is one that i see NOBODY talking about which is crazy because this motif is (in my opinion) one of the main foundations of the kagehina community.

now may someone please explain to me why the HELL nobody ever talks about how whenever Tobio expresses an insecurity of ANY KIND, Hinata is ALWAYS the first one to swoop in and tell him not to worry about it?

yes, we've all established that Hinata Shouyou is the #1 Kageyama Tobio understander. we get that. BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN DISPLAYS OF THAT AND I'VE SEEN LITERALLY NOBODY SPEAK OF IT EVER.

i'm pretty sure there's an instance of it in season 2 (either that or my brain just made it up) when Tobio is a little worried about his and Hinata's quick attack not really working out but Hinata tells him "nah you'll figure it out eventually" or something along those lines. i'm not going to lose my shit over it because i can't find it but if you know YOU KNOW.

a part that i COULD find from season 2, however, was this:

here we have Tobio explaining how talented of a setter Oikawa is- how he's so much better than him- and it's clear that this is something he's insecure about given his facial expression.

THEN we have Hinata's INSTANT response:

and it blows Tobio away because WHAT

because, to paraphrase a little, Tobio basically just said "yeah oikawa can make any spiker look good no matter what team he's on" to which Hinata replied "yeah but that team wouldn't be Karasuno" which is essentially "Karasuno is strong enough as it is" BUT- if ur crazy- " dw he wouldn't take your spot babe" (<- which probably isn't how it's meant to be interpreted because they just finished talking about The Team That's Stronger As Six thing so like... context clues. it's probably not the insane interpretation).

ANYWAYS boom there it is. Tobio expresses insecurity, Shouyou swoops in and goes "Ermmmm Actuallyyyyy🤓" WHICH IS SO FUCKING ENDEARING ON IT'S OWN BUT THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENS MORE THAN ONCE AND AT SUCH A CRITICAL POINT TOO

the critical point in question being:

(context: Tobio just came back from his training camp in Tokyo and is a little frustrated because he's gotten so used to playing with other prodigies like himself so to go back to talented-but-not-prodigious players is a bit of a switch for him. don't get him wrong tho he loves this team to DEATH it's just a little different that's all. hashtag number one Tobio apologist right here)

SO THERE'S THIS! and it goes without saying that Tobio is DEEPLY insecure about his late middle-school days and being referred to as a king. Tsukishima adds a little salt to the wound and while I didn't take a screenshot of it Tobio makes this look of absolute HORROR after he says what he says

(which, side note, shows a lot of a character development within Tobio. especially since I've been flipping between season 2 and 4 a lot looking for these clips. Tobio didn't even notice when he was acting kingly before but he realizes it INSTANTLY now which is so so so good for him yayyyy character development!)

this also leads fantastically into my next tangent which is

TOBIO FUCKING APOLOGIZES!

now, admittedly this isn't entirely related to my thesis but i absolutely ADORE talking about this scene and i genuinely think it is one of the most prevalent displays of character development within Tobio because i feel like he tends to get overshadowed by all the other characters (especially Hinata, which i'm not upset about in the slightest like it makes perfect sense and if Tobio got all the attention all the time the show would be soooo unbalanced)

but I feel like a lot of people skip over Tobio's overall development over the course of the show. I mean compare s1 Tobio to s4 Tobio THAT IS NOT SAME PERSON ANYMORE. he grows so much over such a short period of time (which is another essay I could write. something along the lines of "Explaining Why Tobio And Shouyou Need To Be On Separate Teams Actually Because Character Development Purposes" because the amount of people i've seen on tiktok complaining about kghn being on separate teams and how they should just be on the same team forever makes my blood boil violently) and it's so refreshing to see Tobio's growth especially as a big Tobio enjoyer.

ANYWAYS back to the main thesis.

So Hinata steps in IMMEDIATELY here. literally cuts Tobio's apology off because HE HAS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. he was expressing his thoughts whatever that's fine he could have done it in a nicer way SURE but listen the guy still has a LOOOONNNGGGG way to go but still, nothing to apologize for. it's just growing pains, y'know?

now the quote "What's wrong with him being the King again?" appearing here isn't the first time we're seeing this. Hinata has ALWAYS been confused as to why calling Tobio a "King" is a bad thing. literally from day fucking one Hinata was like "nah dude I think that title is cool" WHICH, AGAIN, TOBIO BEING INSECURE ABOUT SOMETHING AND SHOUYOU REASSURING HIM THAT IT'S TOTALLY CHILL HELLO?????

LITERALLY FROM DAY ONE SHOUYOU HAS BEEN DOING THIS. THAT MAN MAY THINK TOBIO'S AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES (and he kinda is) BUT NEVER WILL HINATA INHERENTLY HATE A PART OF HIM. and i don't think they realize it here nor do i think the realization comes soon after but at some point there will be the realization that they love each other. every single part. fucking Tobio probably realized it way back in junior high but that's a tangent for another time.

now this line.... this one right here...... oh my god i can be SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.

the main reason why Tobio had this look of HORROR on his face after he yelled at everyone was BECAUSE HE KNEW THE ENDING. he knew that yelling at them would have consequences (if it weren't for Hinata stepping in thank god). HE'S SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. in his final year of junior high he yelled at his teammates to run faster and jump higher and be better AND THEY LEFT HIM!!!

so Tobio yelling like this instantly makes him afraid that he's just ruined the entire balance of the team. he thinks he's going to be left behind again because he yelled and everyone is going to leave him BUT!!!!!

BUT SHOUYOU IMMEDIATELY JUMPS IN AND SAYS "idc what u say honestly if i don't like i'm just not gonna listen" OR, TO TRANSLATE "i'm not going anywhere regardless of what you say"

Tobio's biggest fear is losing this team. I literally do not need to explain why. that man would fucking DIE for this team (if you really need an explanation just to go the end of the Kamomedai match when Tobio admits that he's upset they lost because he wanted to play with that specific team more).

and for Hinata to essentially say "you could literally be as kingly as u want and i simply would not care, pal, i promise you i am NOT going ANYWHERE!!!" which has got to be SO FUCKING RELIEVING FOR TOBIO.

(also something something "nobody was there" / "i'm here" something something "doesn't matter what kind of toss goes up if you send it my way i'm hitting it" something something they're soulmates or whatever they are literally bound together by the universe they were destined to be together and it's a crime that universe kept them apart for so long and now that they're together they will always BE together two peas in a pod literally inseparable they are hot glued and duct taped together.)

and then there's this. i mean at this point you already know what i'm going to say like you get it by now but again IT MUST BE SO RELIEVING TO TOBIO to know that shouyou thinks his biggest insecurity is cool. that shouyou thinks that it's not something to be concerned about. that no matter what, no matter how much a King he is, they're not going anywhere.

SOMETHING SOMETHING "you drew stars around my scars" IF YOU EVEN CARE

and just the fact that it's always ALWAYS shouyou to do this. the fact that there was dead silence before shouyou spoke up. the fact that it's ALWAYS HIM there to understand Tobio (someone who has been misunderstood for as long as he can remember) GOD THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.

anyways thank you for being a witness to this madness👍

#i know kagehina day was like 3 days ago LISTEN #i'll be there on hinakage day i promise #but again the fact that this is not as commonly talked about as it is is WILD to me #also the “Hinata and Kageyama need to be on separate teams actually” is an essay i think i will genuinely write at some point #just one more tiktok of people saying “noooo the boyfriendsss they need to be on the same team” and i'll do it i'll fucking do it #THEY CAN BE BOYFRIENDS AND BE ON DIFFERENT TEAMS PLEASE UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!1 #they needed to be on different teams in junior high for obvious plot reasons #they needed to be on the same team in high school for character development reasons #and they NEED to be in different teams going forward so they can continue to motivate one another #THEY ARE EACH OTHER'S GREATEST MOTIVATORS #there is nothing they love more than playing against one another like did you SEE the adlers v. jackals match HELLO #even when the adler's were LOSING tobio looked like he was having the TIME OF HIS LIFE #and you could tell that Hinata loved it too. not just because he was finally making up on that “i'm gonna beat u one day” promise #if they end up the same team forever they will just never feel that joy THEY NEED TO BE ON DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE NET I PROMISE #a net is not enough to stop a red string of fate #anyways #volleyball guys #wahoo another essay for the haikyuu tag!

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notanotherinfjblog · 6 months

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Texting habits per judging function

No one asked, but here are some observations I've made in my personal life.

*Note that this probably differs by age, gender, and culture (for instance, I have been told by several Americans that I use an insane amount of emojis, whereas it's not considered weird at all here in Germany).

FJ:

Generally very good at texting, will respond to absolutely every point you make. If you send them a long voice message, they can be found taking notes while listening so that they will not forget to answer any point you made.

Have a very hard time leaving someone on read and if they do, either something happened and they forgot, or they simply don't like you very much. If they open the message, they answer. If they don't have time to answer you right now, they simply will not open the message yet.

If the text conversation is done (i.e. you wrote something like "bye, see you tomorrow!" that does not require another response), they will still at the very least send you an emoji back for no reason other than letting you know that "Yes! I read your message! I'm not ignoring you! I love you!" (Literally every FJ I have ever known does this. Every single one, including myself.)

They will adapt to your style of texting. If you are the kind of person that likes to send a bunch of heart emojis to friends and the FJ friend is not, they will still pepper in a heart here and there. If you generally don't use emojis, they will use them only occasionally. If you reply in wallpaper long messages, so will they. If you break up your messages into several texts one after the other, so will they.

FPs:

Also generally quite good at texting and can actually appear a lot warmer in writing than in person (there have been several instances where I received really lovely messages from FPs who I used to think hated my guts whenever we met in person).

Prepare for emojis. Seriously.

You can have infinitely long text conversations with them. If you are willing to commit, the conversation between the two of you will never end. With NFPs, the conversations usually end up spiralling into nonsense scenarios, while SFPs keep telling you about their day and keep answering you about your day every day.

TPs:

(my texting experience with TPs is unfortunately very limited, so feel free to fill in my blanks)

Fe is very noticeable in the extroverts, i.e. they tend to go the FJ route described above, but in a more nonchalant and more relaxed way. Like with FJs, the focus of the conversation is on you and their dynamic with you.

The introverts (i.e. my dad, i.e. my only point of reference) are bad at texting and prefer to call, so almost all text conversations go something like this: TP: "Hi, I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up. I hope everything is alright with you?" You: "Yes, sorry. Everything's good here, how about you, everything okay?" --- end of conversation ---

TJs:

Generally bad at texting. Also don't really like it and see no point in it, so they usually prefer calling or talking in person.

Will appear colder in writing than in person, especially the STJs. Their answers will be straight to the point. No beating around the bush and no needless extension of a conversation in form of jokes/questions/anecdotes for a bonding experience. If they want to tell you something, they will tell you in person.

Have absolutely zero problem leaving people on read and usually don't mean anything by it.

STJs rarely use emojis, NTJs do but not excessively

If their answer requires them to type anything more than two sentences, they will send you a voice message instead. (Literally every single TJ I know does this, except my INTJ brother who is a complete maniac and calls instead.)

#the TJ way of texting will never stop confusing me #i usually don't look at other people's phones but i once witnessed an istj's text conversation and it's been haunting me ever since #she had just visited her husband's family with their kids and her mother-in-law sent her a really long lovely message #saying how much she enjoyed their visit and how much she loved each and every one of them and sent her a bunch of pictures #and this istj replied with 'thanks me too' and THAT WAS IT! if i had been her mother-in-law i would have assumed she doesn't like me at all #but no! this istj spent the next half hour looking at the pictures smiling softly zooming in on everyone's faces and then smiling some more #similarly one of my closest friends is an estj and she will tell you in person how much she loves you but her messages? not that warm #or my entj friend. he is a real chatterbox in person but texting? yeah no forget it #this is unimaginable for me as an FJ i would only do this as a deliberate choice to make it known that i don't want anything to do with the #so texting with a TJ always feels like recalibrating your brain to calm down and go:#'no i know they don't hate me yes i know they text like they do but i know that they don't it's okay they are like this with everyone'#and really sorry for the limited TP section. the only TPs i ever texted are my dad and some occasional acquaintances #so seriously. chime in with your observations! especially to get a broader picture from other cultures than my own as well #typing post #judging functions #cognitive functions

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sapphic-agent · 3 months

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A lot of katara hate really stems from misogyny (internal too) cause wtf is this

https://x.com/bambied_/status/1753880126029242427?s=46

Apparently that other girl's name is Hachi? Idk, I've never seen this show before nor do I understand what the tweet is saying (I can't see the replies because I don't have Twitter, thanks a fucking ton Elon). If someone can explain in the comments please educate me.

But it's definitely true that most Katara hate comes from misogyny, internalized misogyny especially. Most women who hate on her go absolutely crazy for Sokka or Zuko or Aang while excusing their actions and making Katara out to be worst than she is. Or they "prefer" Suki's feminism over Katara's (which is especially dumb because Suki never faced the level of misogyny that Katara did, she grew up on an island that celebrates the last female Avatar and reveres its female warriors while sexism was rooted into the Water Tribes' culture).

A great instance of how the fandom treats Katara vs the male characters is TSR. Everyone will go batshit insane over Katara saying, "Then you didn't love her like I did," but not one of them will bat an eye over Aang comparing her to Jet (someone who used and manipulated her) in that very same scene. Not to mention that she's right, Sokka himself admits that he started to picture Katara when he thought of his mother. He didn't feel Kya's absence as much (whereas Katara felt Hakoda's absence as much as he did) because Katara was around to take care of him while no one was taking care of her. He isn't as full of grief as Katara is because he had her there to support him. Katara was parentified and it started with Sokka and continued through Aang and Toph. One of the failings of ATLA was that this was never addressed (and was even perpetuated by the show).

As for what you linked? I'm assuming the post is making some weird comparison? One thing I can't stand about any fandom- whether it's comic books fans, anime fans, book fans, or whoever- is the need to compare female characters from different media. Like, I can't stand people who are all, "nAmI doEsN't gEt haTe LikE saKUrA." I don't even hate Sakura, but why are you bringing in an unrelated character? Just because they both happen to be women? Because the other Strawhats (especially Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji) hit Luffy just as much, so Nami being the one brought up is misogyny in and of itself (also, as a Luffy lover, he usually gets hit when he's giving away money or putting them in unnecessary danger, so he usually deserved it). We need to stop using women to put other women down (both real and fictional).

Now, if we're saying, "Hey, this female character was handled better than that female character," that's different. But 9 times out of 10, that isn't the case

#anon ask #katara #pro katara #katara deserves better #aang critical #sokka critical #tagging just in case #tw misogyny #tw sexism #internalized misogyny #tw parentification

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updownlately · 3 months

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okay so bear with me here, but i just wanted to lay my personal opinion down on this because other opinions have been expressed regarding this and i didn't really say my piece on this specific part yet.

im not trying to drag lj down here, or bring this back up for her to be dragged. i just want to state my piece here in regards to the conversations we've been having since last night.

regarding the conversations that have been occurring on this blog in the past 24 hours about lj and katie's behaviour, and with lj's wc behaviour being brought up, i said that (and i quote) "the lack of apology irked me the most! that and how the attention was directed to racial abuse." and "the fact that such a key issue wasn’t even touched upon is frankly extremely disappointing from the lionesses, chelsea, and lj herself."

i honestly still stand firm in my stance and here is why.

***adding a cut bc this shit got kinda long

i've attached the two main apologies i've found, one from the lionesses, and one from lj (her tweet).

the reason that i personally am not satisfied with the response and why i said lack of apology, is because i feel that the words said were not enough. yes sorry was said. yes, it mentioned the actions and remorse that lj felt. but for me, 'really sorry' doesn't cut it. that combined with 'wholly out of character for her' doesn't sit right with me.

we know this isn't out of character. and personally, actions speak louder than words, and the immediate walk out without a single change in facial expression when the incident originally occurred + every. single. time. it has occurred since is insane. this isn't a one time behaviour. being 'really sorry' doesn't cut it. yes you can respect another player and whatnot, but if you're going to let your emotions consistently negatively dictate how you treat them on the pitch, and it being with anything other than respect, that is where i don't see the apology being more than pixels on a screen meant to placate the (rightfully) enraged public.

could i see it a fit apology if action was taken to prevent this from happening again in the future? abso-freaking-lutely!!

but that's the issue for me. nothing has changed. literally nothing.

i caught part of the city vs chelsea game that occurred a few days ago, and as the clock got closer to the end, it was clear how each of lj's tackles and shoves got more and more dangerous. heck, she absolutely bodied a player in the air when it was unnecessary. that could've ended so poorly and im glad it didn't, but i digress.

i'm thinking of the walti incident because its the first that comes to mind as an arsenal fan. the clearly placed stomp. the indifferent look. the walkout without a single hesitation or look of remorse. that isn't the behaviour of someone who is sorry for their actions. that behaviour then isn't 'out of character'.

so then coming back to lj's apology. is she really sorry? or is she sorry it was caught? that too at such a big stage? and where was the attempt to 'learn from my experience'? because honestly? i don't see it.

and i don't doubt there's been more instances like this, ones that i haven't seen (i don't watch chelsea games that often, the timing of most wsl games isn't convenient for me since many occur from 4-7 am and i have commitments during the day). but they seem to be a reoccurring theme.

so yes. there was an apology issued. no i don't think it was a good apology in the least and the behavioural aspect wasn't touched upon. the incident was treated like a one off occurrence (which it clearly isn't).

this all gets furthered by the fact (and i can't rmb who so please forgive me and educate me here if possible), but it was either chelsea or the lionesses that released a statement about racial abuse.

now, i'm not disagreeing that racial abuse occurred, and im definitely not saying that it was okay.

it wasn't okay. racial abuse is never okay and never will have a space in the football that i know of (or anywhere for that matter). period. full stop.

and so yes, i agree with their statement. but to me, it felt as if the red card situation was brushed under the rug.

now, don't get me wrong. racial abuse is totally is extremely important and should be kept to a zero in any situation whatsoever and im glad there was a statement released regarding that matter.

but i recall that when i read that statement, i personally felt as if it was more of a deflection than a stance, and that is what didn't sit right with me.

now, i could totally be wrong there. i understand there's a innumerable amount of perspectives here. i'm merely going off my opinion and what i felt when reading that statement. everyone had a different experience/reaction to it and i can recognize and respect that. all i ask if you respect my take even if you don't agree with it.

(i've lost my train of thought so bear with me if it gets a bit murky here)

but yeah, for me, all of that combined really just made me feel that the apology wasn't adequate, given the severity of the situation.

don't get me wrong. i think lj's is a generational talent. i really do. her footwork, her body feints, her ability to score rockets and find pockets of space that barely exist for more than a second is absolutely insane!

but while i can recognize she's a fantastic player, i don't have to be satisfied with the apology she gave during those times. and i'm not.

is it a weird line to balance for me? 100%. it is something i think about quite often to be honest.

as someone who likes to say they have a concrete set of morals, ethics, values, and whatnot that i like to follow, this is tough for me to navigate. it's very much in the grey area and the lines do get blurred.

im astonished by lj's skill level, but i can't find it in myself to 'rep' her as a player like i do with my other favourites or players that i think are outstanding.

the behaviour doesn't sit right with me and it influences how i perceive her as a footballer and a person, and that's just the way it is.

so all in all, if you've made it this far: a) congrats on making it through my word vomit! thank you really. b) this is my personal take/opinion. all i ask is you try and understand where i may be coming from before you attack me, should you choose to do so. c) im a barely twenty-smt kid tryna navigate life. this is new territory for me, i'm not perfect and i know it. could i be absolutely wrong? yes. but does this stance feel correct to me right now? yes.

and yeah.

at the end of the day. no, that apology wasn't acceptable in my opinion. you can accept it should you choose to wish so, i just won't be. not yet atleast.

anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao

-blu

#holy fuck this got long #y'all wanted a fic? i give you this instead #sorry i just really wanted to put this out there even if only one person reads this #tho(ugh)ts #blu's takes #lauren james

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roxy206 · 10 months

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Diving For The Hopeless Diamond — 07/11/2023

watch here | listen here

Look at you. You look mad

It’s scary. There’s something scary about it

It is Barbed Wire Barbie

You like darker, sexier — actually very into Trixie describing Katya’s music taste

You have such a, like, geometrically symmetrical face We want to That’s the goal We hope

Anybody who watches my YouTube videos, did you just hear this person say that my makeup’s symmetrical? Thank you Well I mean the blueprint is We hope

I wanna, I wanna come, I wanna come to these gigs & just watch with binoculars. I wanna see you suffer

It genuinely is wild seeing current day Trixie in this makeup like …

You are very sexy — I somehow missed this the first time around & now I’m listening to the episode on Spotify

Everyone wants to fuck you

Did you save your season 7 finale look? I love that outfit

Who’s the Russian version for? Me

Wait a minute. You answered the door naked? — please you know she’s like okay, Noted.

It was a name I’ve never fucked before

What did you like about this guy?; Do you like that? — I can’t, I can’t

The police are coming right now for you, bitch

Trixie got in season 7 drag & something happened to her brain lol

LMFAO I literally just saw Manila’s TikTok with the Padam Padam parody

We are not talking enough about Margot Robbie’s press looks

I wrote down something I want to talk to you about — this gets me every damn time

Can we talk about Trixie unplugging Katya’s mic after talking about romantic role playing ??

I also love anytime one of them mentions an instance of Katya driving Trixie … I can & I will romanticize them carpooling lol

We were in the car on the way back — we went to Malibu I’m telling you, when I dropped you off

You clued me in on what was going on in your sex life

We were in the car & I noticed that you noticed that I was wearing a packer

You’ve never worn a Speedo? I’m scared Why? You’ve got a big butt. It’ll look great! —

You’d look great in a Speedo

Yeah I feel like when you grow up going to the beach in ME & MA you have a different understanding of ocean temperatures

I fucking love how much Trixie was thinking about P Town on this day

If we hooked up — which would never happen, no matter wh— — ma’am this is a Wendy’s. Honestly, honestly, I’m impressed that it took her this long in the conversation about Katya’s hook up to insert herself into it

That’s a great tone to engage with

Do you wanna fuck that guy again? Well here’s the thing, absolutely Are you gonna date him? I would love to — this is simultaneously so amusing that Trixie is grilling Katya & so cute because Katya is into this guy

I’m not gonna say I manifested this because that’s insane — stop I love this for her

Who would play him? It’s funny to say that unironically

Pierce Brosnan? — listen. One can only hope. Has anyone SEEN the stills from his new project??

That’s what came into my head. That’s weird. It’s not weird, I’m psychic. We’ve talked about it

Not Trixie being surprised Katya showed this man her scar

I love everyone No you don’t

Does … does Trixie not do promo for her dentist?

You held him hostage

Can I touch your hand?

I guess they’d go to the convenience store if they could — I’m sorry but this is so fucking funny

We talked about this We talked about it in private

#kimmy watches #the bald and the beautiful #dostoyevsky in the sheets #oh honeyyyyy #trixya #trixie & katya #katya #katya zamo #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 1 year

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Psycho Analysis: Clayton

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Tarzan is a film that has aged pretty well in the eyes of the internet. The action, the animation, the epic Phil Collins soundtrack that goes unnecessarily hard—Nearly every aspect of this film is looked on with a lot of fondness these days, a far cry from that time Trey Parker and Matt Stone had a hissy fit that they lost an Oscar to Phil Collins and made an entire episode of South Park insulting him over it. But there is one aspect of this film that you don’t really see come up very often in discussions of the film: The villain, Clayton.

But come on, he’s a Disney Renaissance villain! Surely he can’t actually be so boring and forgettable that we just don’t bother to talk about him, right? Well, let’s take a look at this mighty hunter and see why he doesn’t seem to be remembered quite as much as that rocking soundtrack.

Motivation/Goals: Clayton’s biggest issue is he has easily the lamest and most uninteresting motivation for a Disney villain: Greed. Now, greed in and of itself is not a bad motivator for a villain; some of the greatest villains of all time are motivated by greed, such as Hans Gruber. But it seems like nearly every time Disney has attempted to do a villain motivated by greed, it just hasn’t worked out well, as Ratcliffe can attest to. They did eventually manage a few solid greed-motivated antagonists in the post-Renaissance era like Rourke and Silver, but that was immediately after Clayton’s time, so he doesn’t really avoid the fate of being a rather predictable and dull foe.

It’s even worse because there is a much more personal foe, the leopard Sabor. Sabor is the killer of Tarzan’s human parents as well as his adoptive mother’s gorilla child, so there’s a much more meaningful and personal connection there, not to mention the fact Sabor is just plain scary. But nah, she gets axed off halfway through and we’re stuck with a two-dimensional big game hunter.

Performance: When he’s not lending his mighty voice to the famous Tarzan yell, BRIAN BLESSED spends his time in the movie playing the final boss of Tarzan’s story and the killer of his gorilla father. The vocal performance here is one of the biggest redemptive elements of Clayton; not once has BRIAN BLESSED ever half-assed a role, no matter how corny or flat it is (look at his performance in the insane animated film Freddie as F.R.0.7. for instance, where he plays the most generic supervillain ever with great gusto). He manages to breathe a lot of life and a little bit of personality into this not-so-great white hunter, even if he’s still a generic character at the end of the day.

Final Fate: This is perhaps the most notable thing about Clayton aside from his VA. During the final confrontation, Clayton becomes entangled in vines. He begins hacking and slashing at them, until finally he cuts through enough and he goes tumbling to the ground, a vine wrapping around his neck. You can guess what happens next.

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This one stands out because it is honestly shockingly graphic. Yes, Tarzan is a bit more violent than your typical Disney fare, but for a split second you get to see the broken-necked corpse of this dude swinging in silhouette! It’s up there as one of the most brutal and disturbing Disney deaths ever seen.

On top of that, it’s a rather brutal take on the greatest foe of every Disney villain: Gravity. Disney, much like Enrico Pucci, is absolutely obsessed with gravity judging by how often it takes out the big bads of their films. From the very start with the Evil Queen in Snow White to several Renaissance villains like Frollo and Gaston, that thing that dropped an apple on Newton’s head seems to have it out for Disney villains. The thing is, we usually don’t see the splat, we don’t see the actual moment of death. Some of them you can even pretend they survived with some injuries if you’re feeling overly nice (Gaston was actually supposed to survive his fall originally). Here though? Clayton is completely and unambiguously fucking dead, his neck snapped by his own wrathful arrogance being combined with gravity.

Final Thoughts & Score: Clayton is almost the very definition of “mid.” He’s not great, he’s not awful, he’s just fine and serviceable. That being said, there are a few elements that help him stand out at least a little.

Yes, Clayton has very boring and basic motivations, and that don’t really put the most exciting spin on it. He’s a poacher and a hunter, but he doesn’t have the sheer charisma and personality of fellow villainous hunter Gaston. That being said, BRIAN BLESSED definitely injects his usual grandiose hamminess into the role, and his death scene is just so good… Maybe too good, honestly. His death scene is so great that it really does overshadow everything else about him. Think about it: When was the last time you saw anyone talk about Clayton outside of maybe his Kingdom Hearts boss battle? It’s really the most memorable thing that happens to him. He doesn’t get a villain song, he doesn’t really get any cool quotes, he just has a great vocal performance, an awesome death scene, and gets to ride a giant monster chameleon into battle in a Disney/Final Fantasy crossover video game. That’s the extent of his impact.

And like I mentioned above, it really doesn’t help that he steals the spotlight away from a far more intimidating villain who actually has an honest-to-god personal connection to our protagonist. Sure, Sabor isn’t the deepest character on Earth and she’s a 6.5/10 at best, but I’d argue she’s at least as complex as Clayton is, if not more so. There’s even something of a mystique to her that our maniacal hunter simply lacks, and it really is a waste she was killed at the midpoint just so we could have Clayton take on the big bad role.

Still, for what he is, he’s not bad. He’s a remarkably unsubtle villain but he does serve his role in the plot well, and he’s not really the bottom of the barrel. I’d say he scores a very low 6/10. I almost gave him a 5.5, but I think that death and the fact he’s voiced by a man who was willing to reprise the role in a video game where Donald and Goofy team up with an anime boy to fight freakish heart-stealing monsters gives him a little bit of a boost. He’s one of the least interesting villains of the Disney Renaissance, sure, but that still makes him better than a lot of villains out there.

#Psycho Analysis #Clayton #BRIAN BLESSED #Tarzan #Disney #Youtube

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timelessbibliophile · 9 months

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I don't mean this in a rude way, but why is it so bad that the show had cheating from people in the queer community? Like I feel like there are all types of cheating in that show. It didn't just start with s4. If we're going to be honest, Ricky was lowkey emotionally cheating and Gina was as well in seasons 2 and 3 in my opinion. So why is it such a big deal that there was a cheating plotline in a queer relationship? I'm asking because I'm genuinely confused about what the big deal is, as this isn't something new that they started doing in the show.

You're not being rude at all, don't worry.

There are several reasons why this is a weird choice in the context of the show.

The first I'd like to mention is that this is official cheating. There's no debating that they cheated, it's not a blurry line. The times you mentioned are low-key emotional cheating, but it's kind of a grey area. There can be (and there are) conversations around whether the characters cheated or not. Were they just being friendly? What constitutes emotional cheating? How do you know it was malicious, meaning, actively harming their partner by spending more time with someone else, or falling in love with someone else? These instances were kind of like testing the waters. The stans can and do argue against the cheating theory, because the characters never kissed, or never got together. It's nothing more than a theory, whereas in Big Red and Seb's case, it's actual cheating, no arguing about that.

Now, suspiciously when both actors and characters are bi, they decide to officially make them cheat even though it's the most out of character thing for both characters. Separately, in their relationships, they were both head over heels for their partners. It didn't make too much sense in the story to have them cheat. Anti-bi plots often circle around bi people being unfaithful to their partners simply because they are bi, and they like more than one gender, so that means they have to cheat. There's no possibility for them to be faithful since they're bi. It's absolutely insane, of course, but things like that are very harmful to the bi community. You can agree or not with queerness or being bi, but if it harms them as people and makes them seem like less, I don't think it's right to put that in your show. It makes them seem like animals who can't keep it in their pants, especially since it's so ooc for them to do. (side note: I'm not sure exactly of the context behind Big Red and Seb specifically, but this is a general example.)

The difference with Ricky and Gina, for example, is that they had been set up during past seasons to have romantic chemistry, and have something going on, so when they start to emotionally cheat (which, again, grey area), it makes sense in the story. They had history, things had happened before, so when they get close, it makes sense for the audience to understand where they're coming from. It doesn't make them getting too close right, but you understand it because it was shown instead of being told.

That brings me to my last point. This show has a funny way of making me mad by telling instead of showing. I've said before how that's an integral part of writing something believable. If you just say Big Red and Seb were in love, and had a summer affair, and cheated on their partners, that makes no sense to the audience because you're just telling us something we have never, ever seen before. In fact, I can't even remember Seb and Big Red having a conversation, much less get so close that they cheat on their partners.

I know it wasn't made with a bad intention. It was probably just lazy, easy writing to justify BR and Ashlyn breaking up, but it still doesn't make it right.

Most times, cheating plots are cheap writing. However, this easy way out the writers decided to take actively harms the characters and the community they represent, and that's not justifiable.

#sorry for the long essay #but i really wanted to make all my reasons clear #i'm not upset because i'm being petty about redlyn breaking up #although that is bummer #i'm upset because the whole plotline is insanely ridiculous and harming #hsmtmts #redlyn #hsmtmts spoilers

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thebonerpit · 3 months

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Idk if anyone follows my posts enough to even notice this but you may have seen me talking about a lot of new things I've watched so far this year, both tv and film. I kind of made a mini resolution to do this because I found, especially at the end of 2023, that I was stuck in a rut of either rewatching old things or mindlessly flipping through YouTube videos I had little to no interest in. There's so much media out there I'm interested in and now I feel almost reinvigorated to go through it and I've been having a blast.

Most of the time I'll probably just reblog a gifset or two with thoughts in the tags but I finally watched the Interview with the Vampire tv show and I have FEELINGS (mostly good)! Spoilers for season one and I do talk about book things that eventually happen so beware in case you don't know and want to continue the show completely blind...

So I kinda put off watching this at first because the Vampire Chronicles books are some of my favourites, and while it did have its own issues, the 1994 film holds a special place in my heart. I was like... do we really need anything else? But I'm glad I gave it a chance because the show was able to go so much further in so many aspects and also now we have a chance to actually see even more of the book events take place!

I'm gonna say up front that almost every character felt very different from how they are in the book except for Lestat. Lestat was actual perfection and I cannot BELIEVE someone did a (dare I say) even better job than Tom Cruise who gave the performance of his life in the film. Sam Reid's Lestat is unhinged and dramatic and terrifying and sad and cringe and yet also loveable and it was a masterpiece of acting. For the majority of the other characters I really didn't mind the differences and in some instances I thought they were actually improved. Daniel Molloy, for example, who is basically Anthony Bourdain? Perfection. Louis who is yes kind of pathetic and dramatic like the book, but also is volatile and complicated which Lestat is drawn to right from the beginning instead of only after having his little breakdown caused by his brother's death? Excellent. Armand who is older and looks nothing like the Armand described in the books but I can see without any problem how Marius fell madly deeply insanely in love with him because he's GORGEOUS and has this unsettling serenity about him? Give. Me. MORE.

The only issue I really had was with Claudia. I see people praising her all over the place so I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I hated that they aged her up so much. The most compelling thing about Claudia as a character is that she is an adult woman trapped in the body of a literal CHILD. A pre-pubescent child. Not a teenager. It's absolutely horrifying and it should be horrifying. Now, I will say, I saw an article where they talked about part of the reason behind this choice being that they needed the actor to work longer hours and it was impossible for a kid to do that, plus the very intense material, and I fully FULLY support any protections for child actors because the industry is insane. But it does make me sad and I wish there was some way they could have worked around it. I get what they tried to do with teenage Claudia but it just fell flat for me. And also the actress really looks her age (I think she's 20?) so like the few times where people were making fun of her for "playing dress up" or whatever I'm like... she fully looks like an older teen at LEAST what are you talking about lol. Also I thought her accent was kind of bad.

But honestly, that was really the only problem I had with the whole series. I absolutely loved how they went full-on explicit with the Lestat/Louis romance and the chemistry between the two of them was... WOOF. I was actually really interested in the modern portions too, mostly because Anthony Bour-- I mean Daniel Molloy was so entertaining lol. I loved how he pushed and pushed at Louis and their whole back and forth was brilliant. Although putting on my archivist's hat for a second to be outraged at Daniel consenting to wearing the cotton gloves to handle the diaries but then eating a fucking sandwich right beside the book???? Absolutely not lol. It was so much fun to see the Armand reveal (which I was spoiled for somehow but that's ok) especially knowing that Armand eventually turns Daniel and boy oh boy I hope they go long enough to get to that. I loved the continued references to Lestat's love of music which makes me hope they're planting seeds to make rock star Lestat a little more believable lol (god can you even imagine?? And we don't talk about the Queen of the Damned movie ok).

As for S2, I'm so excited for Paris and the Théâtre des Vampires and HELLO Ben Daniels as Santiago!!! Omg so hype for that. And it's going to be so interesting to see the Armand/Louis relationship as well because I mean it's always going to be Lestat/Louis and Armand/Marius for me so Louis being like "he's the love of my life"... girl. (And speaking of Armand/Marius please GOD give us some flashbacks because they are my Vampire Chronicles OTP and I need to see that whole story including my girl Bianca thank youuuuu).

Yeah so overall I'm quite positive about the whole thing and sincerely hope that they get many more seasons because there's so many interesting stories in those books and we've only ever gotten a TINY portion on screen.

#tbptalks #interview with the vampire #in addition to watching new things i'm apparently also reverting to my livejournal days and writing long rambly posts about media lol #i like throwing my opinions into the void ok sometimes i just need to get them out there #and when i have a lot to say i don't like using the tags on someone else's post

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