Happy birthday to me! 🥳 Well, technically it was yesterday, but I was busy so you get my birthday post today 😛I'm 26 now, which means I am officially Too Old For Leonardo DiCaprio! So, relevantly, I wanted to share my odd little collection of 90s Leonardo DiCaprio movies:

(not pictured: Titanic and This Boy's Life, because I got them at the library)

A few summers ago, I was (not so)slowly losing my mind from working at a grocery store during covid lockdowns (and everything else that was happening in 2020/2021). So what did I do? A lot of things, honestly, but the relevant one is that I went on a deep dive of 90s Leonardo DiCaprio movies. It started out with, well, the exact reasons you'd think a very single 24-year-old would start watching Leonardo DiCaprio movies, but it soon turned into a sort of deep dive on a famous actor's early career and his strengths/weaknesses/typecasts, as well as an exploration/cultural study of increasingly obscure 90s movies.

...I was going a little off the deep end, yeah.

Anyways. Initially I was gonna write up a whole review list for all the ones I saw, but that would've been super long and rambly and I'm not that committed to the bit, so here's an overview:

Romeo+Juliet is genuinely one of my favorite movies now. I could go on and on about how good it is. I'd rank it right up there with Galaxy Quest, which trust me is high praise. I'm a sucker for "appears silly on a surface level but is actually really well-done and well-thought-out", I guess.

Watching Titanic when all you know of it are the memes and the famous scenes was a really interesting experience. Also, I'm embarrassed to admit it but I do in fact want Jack Dawson to draw me like one of his french girls.

I liked Basketball Diaries because they let Leo go completely fucking feral in that one. When you let him emote, he *emotes*. A little over the top? Maybe but I love it

Total Eclipse is the worst movie I've ever seen oh my god not even the bisexuality could save it it's so confusing to watch and the characters are the most unpleasant people to have to experience

I ran out of steam before watching Don's Plum, which is a shame because it has the dubious honor of being banned for commercial viewing in the U.S and Canada

What's Eating Gilbert Grape aged like fucking milk to the point that it's actually fascinating to watch as like, a cultural artifact.

Also, the last point. DiCaprio only dating women in their early 20s is even more striking when you realize what he was up to in his early 20s.

ivy’s relationships with ateez

ivy and her relationship with each member

{ hongjoong }

status: “father & daughter”

ship name: jijoong

popularity: 5/10

she messed with him sooo much

the amount of times he scolds her whenever she’s around wooyoung and san ✋🏼

besides that though, he jokes that she’s his most well behaved child

he is her mentor, especially recently, she’s gone to him to help write lyrics. she says she wants to try producing soon too.

she is the person that keeps him sane half the time, brings him food while he’s working, just making sure he’s staying healthy.

when they finish promotions she usually forced him to go out and buy a milkshake with her or something.

he always keeps an eye on her to make sure she’s always comfortable

he likes to tell this story about ivy when one time she walked into his and seonghwa’s room at 2 am without saying a word and just laid on top of him

you know how hongjoong once said “don’t look at other oppa’s”? yeah that rule kinda applies to her too

he’s so protective, anytime another idol or staff member flirts with her, he’s watching closely.

he likes with she get plain white acrylics because she lets him paint them how he wants.

she refused to buy her anymore stuffies and scolds mingi and seonghwa when they buy her more which is maybe too often

“leader hong in the houseee”

“ivy, i’m trying to sleep”

{ seonghwa }

status: “mother & daughter”

ship name: ivyhwa

popularity: 5/10

she is his motherfuckin baby, no one touches her.

she’s clumsy so ever time she trips, falls, stubs her toe, he face palms and the helps her ‘injuries’ that she exaggerates

has to cover her mouth whenever they play explicit music during vlives because she will swear with pride

stuffie buyer #1

screams and closes her eyes every time he does something sexy for fan

back. hugs. either her giving him back hugs or vise versa.

plays with his hands when she’s anxious

scares him every time she does a flip on variety shows

whenever they’re at a fan sign or something and she starts doing sexy parts of their dances he just stands in front of her to block people from seeing, recently however she tells atiny to yell at him to move.

she organizes, he cleans. they’re a team.

dancing on vlive and killing every atiny there is.

on time he made a joke and called her ‘poison ivy’ and she punched him so hard. which shocked both of them because she isn’t that strong (jongho was proud)

“seonghwa got me a new stuffie !!!!”

“you weren’t supposed to tell ! hongjoong will yell at me”

{ yunho }

status: “besties”

ship name: yunsoo or yunvy

popularity: 5/10

big back rides #1

they’re really close but a lot of atiny’s don’t see it 🤷🏼‍♀️

she makes him laugh so much

he’s older, taller, and stronger, but he is her baby

twerking 101

the reasons she got to see nayoung again thank you imitation

“yunho’s an actor now” literally any chance she gets

buys her food, so much food. even on diets.

she currently has one of his photo cards in her phone case

her contact name for him translates to “abnormally large puppy man”

she just stares at him. and then when he gets weirded out and asks why she says ‘because i can’ or ‘mind your business’

like to paint with her

“ivy, seonghwa yelled at me for letting you twerk on that on vlive”

“he’s the man that sexy danced to baby shark, i think he’ll live”

{ yeosang }

status: “best friends”

ship name: yeovy

popularity: 7/10

gemini’s. need i say more ?

they make fun of the members behind their backs together

refuses to buy her anymore chocolate

she ?? keeps ??? wearing ?? his ?? shirts ???

she lowkey fangirls over how pretty he is

they’re too shy for their own good

she tried teaching him how to do flips, but he gave up after a kart wheel and seonghwa stopped it before they could even make it to round offs

he acts shocked every time the stylists give her sexy outfits even though he’s used to it by now

buys her chicken tenders all the time

he once said that ivy is giggly and clingy when she’s drunk and somehow he’s usually the one to take care of her

gives him weird looks, for literally no reason

she’s proud of yeosang because of his recent confidence boost

“why is hongjoong wearing that?”

“i don’t know, let’s go make fun of him”

{ san }

status: “best friends”

ship name: sansoo

popularity: 7/10

they’re so cute until they get on stage

constant hugging, it never ends.

they compliment each other allll the time

he likes to flirt with her just to make her shy and flustered because he finds it funny

feeding each other for some reason ??

he buys her dumplings

she wants to recreate every hair color he’s ever had but she’s lowkey too scared

she wants him to get a facial piercing so badly !!

he held her hand when she got her first tattoo

random dance parties together >>>

san said he’s proud of her because her confidence has grown so much and shes been working hard lately

there was a time when she cried at a fansign because a fan gave her a really meaningful note and san immediately went over to hug her

“sannie, i just got called sexy!”

“you’re too young”

{ mingi }

status: “they crushing?”

ship name: minvy

popularity: 10/10

piggyback rides #2

her number one cuddler

stuffie buy #2

literally do not separate them. e v e r

a lot of fans actually ship them because of how close they are. and because they’re cute asf

buying each other food >>>

she said that the time during mingi’s hiatus was the hardest for her because they had so much going on and mingi not being there made things worse

she was the first one to wish him happy birthday

he helps her a lot when it’s to like… everything. in airports when they feel anxious they hold each other’s hand, when she can’t stay focus he rubs her back.

ivy told atony that mingi was the first person she cried to before their debut

they were roommates with jongho before the room switches, now they both have their own rooms

when she was in high school still, he’d help her with homework.

“mingi looks very cute today”

“thank you jiji”

{ wooyoung }

status: “dude he’s flirting”

ship name: woovy

popularity: 8/10

he flirts too much !!!

fans love them together because they pick on each other yes, but they’re also alike in a lot of ways that’s kinda scary

secret stuffie buyer

she likes to joke that one day she’s gonna leave wooyoung alone in a ditch

she gets soooo flustered when he flirts with her

when they were in america he asked her to take him to her favorite stores and restaurants that she grew up with

even though she doesn’t like video games, he forces her to play or at least watch

friendship bracelets >>

he buys her some random ass shit.

her baby picture is his lockscreen

his mom and brother love her.

cuddles >>>

“your moms so sweet”

“she told me to shut up so that she could talk to you”

{ jongho }

status: “BEST FRIENDS” or “oh?”

ship name: jijong

popularity: 9/10

people love them together, some ship them, no one knows why

maknae shit

impressing people with his strength and her flexibility

she got so excited when he dyed his hair red

jongho’s character in imitation was her favorite and yunho got pouty when he found out

hitting high notes together !!!!!!

he breaks fruit. she eats fruit.

they act so shy whenever the spot light is only on them

sits on his lap, because she can.

man doesn’t like skinship too often, but he will hug her and hold her hand any day

she calls hun cute any chance she gets.

they post all the time when they have meals together

“why are you sitting on jongho”

“i don’t know san, why are you in my business?”

I was 10 years old when I watched my first Fruits Basket clip. My childhood best friend showed it to me after having started watching the series in spring and I’ll never forget it. Episode 13, when the student council president starts bashing Momoji and Hatsuharu for their hair and outfits. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen and I wanted to watch more, so after getting permission from my mom (since I was still only 10 and there was cursing), we both decided to sit down and watch it on Netflix together. 

To say I fell in love with the series is an understatement; it had inserted its way into my heart and wasn’t leaving. From the funny moments, the sad ones, and the wholesome ones, Fruits Basket had something that 10 year old me had never seen in shows before: emotional rollercoasters and meaningful messages in almost every episode. I rewatched Fruits Basket constantly, going back to my favorite episodes when I needed a laugh and watching several episodes in one sitting just because I could. Come summertime, I found out the manga had much more story than what was in the anime, so I started collecting.

There was a bookstore we discovered that had a ton of manga, and so often when we had the time, we’d go there to see what we could find. From there I started collecting Fruits Basket, Ouran, Sailor Moon, and even Naruto. We’d go frequently to see if any new manga were there, to see if there was a volume that hadn’t been there previously. It was out of order sometimes and it took years to finally collect them all, but I was persistent. Fruits Basket had become my favorite series and I was determined to get every volume.

It wasn’t until I was sixteen years old that I finally completed my collection by buying the last volume (which was every expensive and since I didn’t make much money, I had to either save or wait until Christmas and my birthday). Finally, the story I had been reading and waiting to finish for six years had come to an end and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. It was the end of an era for me and I was left fulfilled and yet saddened that we didn’t get a full anime series for it.

Then, not even a week later, I was scrolling on an old website I used to use to get kpop news called JpopAsia to see how much it had changed. I hadn’t used it since I was barely fifteen, so I was curious about it. As I scrolled and looked at the news, I noticed three familiar figures and a headline that said: Funimation Announces Fruits Basket Reboot.

To say I was ecstatic would be an understatement. I read the article, unable to to believe that it was really happening, and looked up several other news sources that confirmed it to be true. It hadn’t even been a week ago that it was announced. I screamed and ran to my mom to tell her the news and we both new we had to download Funimation so we could watch it. Even my dad agreed to watch it with us after seeing how excited we were.

Now I’m nineteen years old and the reboot has reached its finale. After almost ten years of being a fan and waiting for a reboot that I never thought would come, it has ended. I watched my favorite manga series turned into a full anime and watched it to completion. And I couldn’t be any happier.

It was everything I loved about the series animated before my very eyes, with the voice actors from the original anime saying the lines out loud instead of me hearing them in my head as I read my manga. The art style was new and fresh, the actors had played their lines better then ever, and the best part? They were doing it right. 

There isn’t a single thing I disliked about the anime. I can think of no complaint. It was everything I could have possibly dreamed of, and more so. I loved everything about it. I loved the voice acting, I loved the animation, I loved the pacing, I loved the excitement I got every Monday when a new episode came out. But most of all, I loved watching the show with everyone else, new and old to Fruits Basket. I loved reminiscing with people who read the manga and were as excited as me to see it fully animated. I loved watching my dad and thousands of others experience it for the first time and theorize about what would happen next. I loved the community it built with people who needed Fruits Basket, who needed to hear the words that Tohru had to say. It was everything I could have ever possibly hoped for and I couldn’t be happier with it.

I could write sonnets about each character and what I loved about them. I could talk about how much Tohru means to me as a main character who was kind and selfless but it was never made to be a weakness, or something that was taken advantage of until it broke her. Or I could write about Kyo, the perfect representation of what a tsundere should be but was never defined by it, and grew to change into a better, mature person. Maybe I could talk about Yuki, how much his story and journey meant to me as I got older, how happy I was to see him make new friends and become a person who was no longer held down by his abuse, and flourished in spite of it. 

Each and every character means so much to me and to see them on my TV again, with their stories fully fleshed out... I can’t stress enough how overjoyed I was. There are no words in the dictionary that can express it. And even though it’s over, I didn’t get that “What now?” feeling I usually get after finishing a series I loved so much. I know what’s next for them. And I know that if I ever need them, they’ll always be right there; in my bookshelf, or on my TV. 

It was an honor to experience Fruits Basket with everyone, and while the series is over, I’ll never stop loving and talking about the characters. Almost ten years with them, and the number’s just gonna keep growing. I’ll continue to read, watch, and rant about Fruits Basket,

Repeating the good and the bad.

Doing it all.

And piling on the years.

- fame ( 𝐄.𝐕. )

ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLIST!

you are a famous child actor that eddie has had a crush on ever since he could remember. now that you are a young woman in your twenties filming for the movie 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑠, maybe it was fate that brought you two together.

A/N - layout by @adoresobs​!  i don’t know, this may suck.

acting had been your passion. ever since you were five years old, you graced the screens of many tvs and movie theaters, going from playing an artist’s daughter on sesame street in 1973 to one of the older orphaned teenagers on the musical annie to a lifeguard on baywatch. your character on the show was taken off due to filming conflicts; they had written her so she got an opportunity to go to college with a full-ride scholarship. all throughout your nineteen-year acting career, young eddie had watched every movie and show you were in, his crush on the [y/r] woman that glorified every monitor you were on.

when he was nine years old, he began rewatching sesame street just because you were on it. his friends at school made fun of him, but they just didn’t understand. they didn’t understand his need to see you on his tv screen, to hear you speak. he began watching baywatch when it came out in 1989 just because he heard you were on it. and he was mesmerized by the way your body fit into that swimsuit, the way you looked so perfect when you ran despite them always putting it in slow motion, the way your hair bounced everytime your foot made contact with the sand. he was in love with every inch of you.

in 1991, when he heard that you were no longer going to be on baywatch, he was disheartened. his favorite actress saving people after they did something he loved to do was addicting to him. he longed to be in their spot. but then he heard that it was due to filming conflicts, and knew immediately that it was because you had other things coming out. when he and his band released their debut album, ten, he hoped it got big enough for them have their names be heard around the world. he hoped you listened to their music, hoped that you loved his voice and the lyrics he wrote, loved the music videos.

close to his birthday in 1991, he heard that you had an interview with david letterman, and he was going to watch it. he had to. he flipped to the channel it was on and waited for you to come onstage. when you were introduced by letterman, the audience cheered as you walked out onstage in a black loose minidress with spaghetti straps, your hair done in the latest style as you waved to the camera, smiling widely as you got nearer to letterman and gave him a hug. it was short, quick, and you say down immediately once the two of you pulled away. the interview went on as usual, david asking you if you had any upcoming projects, you answering them vaguely, and you recounting stories from the photos he showed, laughing at the funny bits, blushing when you got to an embarrassing detail that involved you, and nodding to show you understood the question you were being asked. “have you been eyeing anybody as of now?” letterman asked. “you’ve been single since you debuted in acting back in 1973, and now you are a twenty-three year old woman, and no sign of a lover!” the audience chuckles at him.

“um. . .” you laugh a little. “i haven’t been seeing anybody, i’m a busy person, so i don’t have much time even for myself, let alone somebody else. but god. . .” you rubbed your elbow, a telltale sign you were a bit nervous. “eddie vedder from the band pearl jam is really cute. i wouldn’t mind meeting him.”

“that’s who your eyeing?” letterman asks. you nod, and eddie feels his heart swell in his chest. you knew who he was. you knew his band, you listened to him, watched his interviews. “yeah,” you defend, “i like energetic guys with blue eyes and long brown hair. he’s cute.” someone in the audience whistles and cheers, causing you to laugh. “he is! i’d love to meet him someday.” eddie’s palms begin to sweat, his eyes widen and he begins breathing heavily. he was your type. you liked him.

“have you listened to their album?”

“i’m sorry?” You turn your attention back to letterman.

“have you listened to pearl jam’s album?”

“yes, i have!” you nod. “it’s amazing!”

“what’s your favorite song?” letterman organizes the pile of notes in his hand, the rhythmic sound of the pat, pat, pat sounding loudly through eddie’s tv speaker. you click your tongue, leaning back in your chair, hands holding on to the armrests.

“oh, god, that’s hard,” you thought for a moment. “it’s a tie between oceans, garden, and black.” your hands tap against the rests three times — left, right, left. “it’s hard to choose, he’s got such a dreamy voice!” you chuckle, trying to calm yourself down as the small weepings of your crush begin to come out of you. they’ve done some interviews for their album and a few live shows, which you’ve watched as much as you could in order to see the frontman, loving the way he was so energetic and full of happiness.

the rest of the interview went by in a blur for you and eddie, and he went to bed, your face imprinted on the backs of his eyelids as he fell asleep.

a few short months had passed before eddie and the rest of the band were asked to come on-set to act out their very few scenes, not knowing who else, other than matt dillon and chris cornell, were going to be there. you were off-camera, readjusting your jean jacket sleeves as matt and the others were getting ready for the restaurant scene. eddie was sitting across from matt, on the edge of the seat, sharpie in hand as he listened to what jeff was reading about the fictional band, citizen dick. you noticed him, hair tucked behind his right ear as he said one of his only lines, “a compliment for us, is a compliment for you.”

cliff, matt’s character, begins to object, when you were given the clue to get on-set and sit next to matt, as you were playing his childhood friend, ruby. eddie’s face showed momentary shock as you sat on matt’s left thigh — as was scripted — and took a sip of the coffee from his cup. “i’m guessing you all read the news article about you, huh?” you restated the line you read over and over in your home and in the dressing room, your arms crossing in front of you and you begin leaning on them, forearms pressed against the wood.

“yeah,” matt placed his hand on your hip, sensing that you had gotten a little wobbly and was making sure you didn’t fall. “this negative energy just makes me stronger.” you chortle into the cup, “sure.”  the watch your character wore began beeping, alerting you to act as if you were rushing. “i have to go, see you all later!” a chorus of deep, male, “bye!” follows you as you walked over to the diner’s door and walk out. the director yelled out, “cut!” and all of you knocked out of character.

standing in line to grab a quick lunch, you eyed the crowd, in search of the frontman of the grunge band, quickly recognizing him by his bandmates, his blue eyes frantically looking around. once he spotted you looking at him, his cheeks flare up, heat rushing into them as he looked back to his friends. he wanted to come up to you and talk, but he was just too shy, too flustered to make any real conversation, let alone any small talk. if only he had the confidence one of his former classmates had, then he would make conversation, ask you out on a date and just overall be with you. noticing his hesitation, you planned to talk to him later when he was away from his bandmates just so he was at ease in some form and they weren’t around to make fun of him; you could at least do that much for him. 

“eddie!” you called out as he walked away from your direction, not noticing you sitting on one of the couches in the lounge area, standing up from the comfortable cushion to make your way over to him. he paused midstep, recognizing your voice instantly, heartrate picking up at the thought of you talking to him, hearing your footsteps coming closer to him. clenching his hands in his jacket pockets, he takes a deep breath before facing you, blue eyes wide as he eyes your figure coming closer to him, a reassuring smile sketched on your lips. “are you alright? you look a little nervous,” you stated, eyebrows furrowing as you noticed the somewhat deep breaths the frontman took.

“yeah,” he blushes deeper. “y-yeah, i’m fine.” he clears his throat. “what are you doing here?” 

“i work here,” you chuckle lowly, crossing your arms across your chest. “but are you okay, really? remember, i’m an actress. i can tell when someone is acting or not.”

so you saw through his lie, he noted. “um. . . i’m just nervous to be around you, that’s all.”

“why?”

“’cause he has a crush on you, that’s why!” mike’s voice calls out through the studio, causing eddie’s blush to become deeper and to spread across his ears, his head bowing to hide his face. 

“really?”

a nod. you took a step forward, reaching forward to take the cook county native’s face in your hands, moving it so it faced you, a small smile on your lips, reassuring and warm. “you want to take this somewhere your bandmates wouldn’t interfere?” 

another nod.

“okay, come on,” you took his hand in yours, leading him through the many corridors and crew members to what was your dressing room, a private place that was rare nowadays. “sit anywhere you’d like.” there was the makeup chairs you sat in every single day, multiple times a day, a sofa in the corner of the room, and a director’s chair with your last name stamped onto the back. he took the sofa, hearing you lock the door behind you, giving you and him more privacy. “i’m sorry your friend did that,” you said as you made your way to the makeup chair, one foot still on the floor while the other was resting on the crosshatched wood pieces between the legs of the chair. you did it to give him the space he possibly needed, but to eddie, it seemed like you were avoiding him. his heart broke even more. 

“i should’ve expected that, if i’m being honest,” he chuckled, trying to get rid of the embarassment that settled deep in his bones, but you still saw the blush that was slowly creeping away. 

“they still had no right to do that,” with this, you stand up, make your way across the room, and sit down next to him, taking his hand in yours. they were warm; rough at the fingertips at the many years of playing guitar. you could feel the small calluses that were healing, the small imprints of the guitar strings, telling you that he had been playing recently, locked away in some small room. you sighed, “today is your last day here on set. i didn’t get to spend enough time to know you, but i got to talk to your bandmates.”

he nods, “yeah, i guess time works in mysterious ways.”

“but it doesn’t have to. how about i take you out to dinner?”

shocked, his head snaps up, peering into your [y/e/c] eyes, round and hopeful. “really?” you nod, laughing when you see his smile widen. “yes, really.”

“i’d love to!”

TAGLIST:

@stateofloveandvedder​ @state-of-love-and-lust​ @honeysympathy​ @grossgold​ @sea-sxns​ @d-arknecessities

hi bunnie! can i first just say that your name and blog are both so dang cute aaaa 🥺 can i request a best friend!izumi hc? 🥺👉👈 thank you so much 💛

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU ARE THE CUTEST PERSON EVER~ i am in Love With You !!! also omg IZUMI ♡u♡ she is the Best Girl ever but #AllGirlsAreBestGirls !!! i love her so much, i’m so glad this was requested!!! i am so happy to write this ♡ PLEASE LOVE IZUMI!

summary: together, you and the currian are unstoppable! watching the cooking channel with your best friend just got even better

author’s note: i hope you love this 🥺 i am genuinely so soft over izumi she deserves the whole world

count how many times i say curry, it isn’t even Funny at this point T___T anyways, i was a bit nervous over this because i hadn’t watched the anime, so i didn’t know izumi well as a character! if all else fails, use the traits you know to the best of your ability! i love our curry queen regardless, though~

word count: 2,001

music: good as hell – lizzo ft. ariana grande

my best friend.

🍛 tachibana izumi

you, funny enough, met izumi at the grocery store in the spices aisle

you were unable to decide between which spices were necessary for the curry recipe you were about to attempt, staring at your phone screen with obvious confusion

what was the difference between each type of curry? which one was better? you scrolled down, reading off the countries,

“india, thailand, malaysia, china, south africa, japan...” you mumbled inaudibly before you heard a very distinct crash in the next aisle over. someone must’ve just hit their cart into a display or—

you saw a girl with long brown hair and pink eyes with... wait... were her pupils heart–shaped? you stumbled back as she approached like she was on a mission, standing a mere few feet from you as she smiled pleasantly at you like the situation wasn’t out of the ordinary at all

(oh no... was she one of those pyramid scheme scammers?)

“are you making curry?!” she questioned, leaning forward to glance at your screen only to squeal in excitement at the confirmation. you gulped, nodding with a tinge of doubtful fear

if you said yes, were you about to be attacked right here and now in the middle of a grocery store? you just wanted some curry...

“i’m so happy for you! do you need help? i know the perfect combination of spices for any type of curry! i can make a different curry for each day of the year!” she offered to help, putting her hands together with a pleading look like she was dying to talk about curry

you nodded again and her entire face lit up again, going off on a rant without taking a moment to breathe

she was so knowledgable on all types of curry! you took notes diligently, deciding on japanese chicken katsu curry as the meal for tonight

when you told her, she clapped her hands and giddily jumped up and down. it was honestly refreshing to see someone so enthusiatic about food!

“i’m sorry for randomly talking to you, but i just love curry! do you need help looking for the rest of the items?” she offered to help, already with an armful of the spices you needed and dumped them into your cart

you pondered, thinking as you looked at the girl. she was nice enough, and clearly wasn’t much of a threat if she was willing to approach a stranger without any discomfort

why not? you smiled, offering your hand out to shake as you introduced yourself. she took it quickly, enthusiatically shaking it up and down as she giggled

“izumi! glad to meet you!”

from that point forward, you two became best friends for life!

izumi was the life of the party and brought happiness wherever she went. not only that, but she was incredibly polite and kind! it wasn’t everyday you met a girl that was full of life and always determined to overcome any obstacle in her path!

izumi would go through anything and everything for her friends despite how busy she was 24/7. she juggled being the mankai director (which was babysitting 20 boys), helping other acting troupes, and cooking at night but still made time to see you at least every week

you weren’t surprised when you were encouraged to come over for a company dinner one night and saw so. many. variations. of curry set up at the table. like the other boys, you attempted to hide your grimace (but very poorly, you weren’t a trained actor like the rest of the entourage was)

“what’s wrong? are you okay?” izumi’s motherly instincts kicked in as she hurried to put her hand against your forehead. you had to pretend like you were coming down with a cold the rest of the week and forced the curry down your throat

(the boys secretly gave you water under the table, whispering advice on how to bear it and grin as they made up fake situations to pass your chair)

(the high schoolers just looked relieved to not be the victim that night)

(seriously... so. many. variations.)

(every time you were invited to a meet–up, you texted the groupchat named “stop the currian” to see if izumi was making curry)

(she always was. you still ate it because you loved her too much to say no)

but other than curry, izumi loved cooking! she was subscribed to sooo many culinary and baking channels on youtube. she loved sending you links with a follow–up text that said: “wanna make this tonight? i know you want to eat it! ;)”

(you complained about how it always ended in a minor food fight you had to clean up. you still let her in when she knocked on your front door with bags of groceries)

(after so many visits, izumi was beginning to be proficient at other forms of culinary like baking since you enjoyed it so much)

one time, you even convinced izumi to make her own youtube channel. you had set up a camera omi loaned on a tripod, acting as the best cameraman ever of course

(you had a clapperboard that had the production titled, “izumi is replacing bon appétit’s claire” with take 1 freshly written)

“you got this, izumi!” you encouragedly put a fist in the air, “fighting!”

izumi nodded cutely, wearing her favorite striped shirt with a pastel pink apron. she held a automatic whisk in her right and was already posing with a mixing bowl in her left, ready to demonstrate how to make your favorite dessert

(maybe you suggested the idea because you wanted food, who knows?)

counting down vocally, you watched as your fingers dropped down to a zero and the red light on the camera started blinking. it was go time, and izumi immediately got into action

“hello, everyone! my name is tachibana izumi and today we will be making—”

the camera fell off the stand as izumi’s whisk flew out of her hand and smacked the lense directly in the middle. a sickening thud echoed through the apartment as you two stood in shock, staring at the expensive camera with unease. it didn’t look... uh... functional?

you quickly put your finger on your nose since it was an unspoken rule that touching your nose automatically meant opting out. you were a second earlier than izumi as she gasped like she was offended

“i am not telling omi!” izumi freaked out, running over but the damage was already done. the camera definitely didn’t turn on anymore

(you and izumi bought the same camera that day and switched the memory cards) (omi raised his eyebrows at the sudden newness of his trusty camera, but didn’t say anything as he just took it and thanked you for bringing it back safe)

(yeah... omi definitely knew. but, he wasn’t too bothered to say anything about it)

(“izumi? what did you spend so much money on last month?” sakyo reviewed her financial statement, watching as she nervously sweat and glanced at omi. he just shrugged like he had no idea)

so you two stuck to mindlessly watching the cooking channel on the tv. it was the usual weekend: becoming insecure over the unreal and extremely talented kid bakers who made a whole 3–tier cake in two hours, making fun of america’s worst chefs when they didn’t know how to cut a chicken, and yelling at cheating cooks who were way too competitive on chopped

it was better that way, anyways. maybe going viral on the internet wasn’t meant for everyone. you still got your dessert, much to your satisfaction

(“yeah, yeah. it’s only because you’re my best friend.” izumi laughed, shoving the plate with extra servings as you stuffed your face. she just fondly rolled her eyes as you tried saying thanks with your mouth full)

(“gross!” izumi squealed, throwing the kitchen mitts at you as you fought back, nearly hitting her with one of the pastries. you already know what happens next. izumi stopped baking for you for a long time [a month] as punishment)

speaking of baking, izumi loved making the most ridiculous cakes you’ve ever seen in your entire life

on random days, she’d make the most creative cupcakes ever with individual designs with meticulous attention to detail

(izumi always had to slap masumi’s hands away from the white box she’d set aside specifically for you. he’d pout, hurt, wondering why she didn’t make any food other than curry for him)

(“masumi... you really need to look at other girls.” you remembered advising him, sympathetically patting his back as he angrily accused you of being in love with izumi, too! to this day, it’s still awkward on your end when you see masumi and he thinks you’re his lifelong competitor)

but on important celebrations like your birthday and anniversaries, her cakes were... something. they’d be the most delicious things on earth, but the design would be comically ugly. she’d put the most bare minimum art ever and write the words way too big and it wouldn’t fit. there were always misspellings. maybe it was a curse for being so well–rounded?

another fun fact was you and izumi were the ultimate power duo! whenever you two went to hang out in public, you always made sure some creep wasn’t staring at her and she did the same for you all the time

as friends, it was your job to make sure you two were as safe and sound as possible

(one time, an absolute douchebag tried to wolf whistle her and izumi had to stop you from getting into a fight in broad daylight)

izumi was way too nice. she was such a selfless person and often acted like the big sister you never had. she was always ready with the most agreeable advice and showed up with her arms open. she was so giving, it was easy to see why everyone loved her

but you liked giving back, too! (much to her surprise) you even tried your hand at making some new form of curry by throwing in random spices and calling it a day, but you realized she was the most critical judge ever for any type of curry

(you stopped making curry for her. she would narrow her eyes and push her imaginary glasses up like an anime character. it was terrifying, she always appreciated it but... you shuddered, izumi was scary)

once, you even rented that curry truck to come by for her birthday! you never saw someone look like they were this close to passing out from maximum happiness

(you even bought a director’s chair for her with izumi bedazzled across the back)

(she now sits in it to get that extra confidence boost before a big show)

but the most important gift that kept on giving was spending quality time with izumi when she needed it most

when the anniversary of her father going missing came back around, you were the first person at her room. with curry you knew she liked from that really one obscure place and all the time that day to make sure she way okay

(she was such a big sister! izumi always claimed she was fine and it was just another normal day, but you were always there to provide comfort she didn’t even know she needed)

you took time out of your day to help her with all her mudane tasks after you saw she once physically fainted from tiredness

(it almost gave you a heart attack the first time, but then you noticed tsuzuru also did that too so it must’ve been something in the mankai dorm air)

you then became a well known figure in the theatre community as “izumi’s best friend”

(you were not upset with that title at all, in fact, you hoped it never changed)

who knew you’d meet your best friend forever at a grocery store? over curry nonetheless?

(yes, you’re izumi’s best friend, but it doesn’t mean you’re exempt from the spices rant)

Soulmate Shenanigans Part Two (Electric Boogaloo)

Good morning (or at least, I’ve started writing this in the morning! Who knows when I’ll complete it)!

I’m continuing my Soulmate AU Tomfoolery (you can find part one here)

Prompt #2

There is a timer that counts down to when you will meet your soulmate.

Warnings for death mentions, and temporary major character death

World Building

Everyone blames the mad scientist.

Which is fair. When someone makes billions of clocks in about a weeks time, each declaring when everyone in the world (including people who wouldn’t be born for decades) would find their soulmate, it’s considered to polite to stick around to answer questions

Instead, Logan disappeared to who-knows-where and left everyone else to pick up the pieces. 

Rude.

Ever since the early 1910′s, the clocks have existed, one for each person. When any kid is born, the first thing a new parent does is rush to the register to see when they’ll meet their soulmate. It’s a big deal.

If your child isn’t going to meet their soulmate in the next 13 years, they are told the exact number on their 13th birthday

Philosophers have been enraged by all of this. Is free will a thing? Is existence a lie?

Non-philosophers will often close their curtains when they see a wandering philosopher, which are easy to identify by their look of abject confusion and plucked chickens.

Characters

Remus: Remus pretended that he didn’t care about who his soulmate was when his 13th birthday rolled along. He wasn’t the best actor.

His brother seemed happy when he found out that it would be sixteen years until he found his soulmate. 29 wasn’t a bad age at all, considering that some people would have to wait until they were old and in a nursing home, or would never even meet their soulmate at all.

Remus waited for his parents to tell him. They gave each other nervous looks, and he was convinced for a few seconds that he didn’t have a soulmate after all.

The actual answer was much weirder

526 years. 526 years until he met his soulmate.

Remus said a silent thank you to his soulmate for making him functionally immortal. After all, that meant that he’d survive until then!

HE WAS IMMORTAL

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now, whenever someone would try to say something like, “Why do you like serial killers? Planning to become one?”, he could just look them dead in the eye and say,

I’m going to outlive you, Brian

(On an unrelated note, Brian disappeared a few months later. It actually wasn’t Remus’s fault, surprisingly. One minute, he was at a museum, the next, gone)

Remus would be fine with never finding his soulmate, honestly. Connection is nice, but being eldritch is more fun.

Virgil: Virgil didn’t want to be immortal

Sure, he wasn’t a fan of dying in practice, but in theory he didn’t want to live to over 250!

His family and friends were going to die, and he’d have to live through it. And for what? To meet a soulmate? Who gave a fuck? Virgil had never wanted a romantic relationship in his life, and he didn’t think that a 526 year wait was going to change that.

He was determined to find his soulmate early so that he could live a normal life like a normal person who doesn’t cause additional distress to the wandering philosophers.

 Plot

It was easy to find Remus. Local Child Will Live To Over 500 makes a good headline, and Remus wasn’t one to shy away from attention.

When Virgil was 16, he packed his bags and ran away from home to go meet his soulmate. He didn’t ask Janus how he got the bus tickets, but he did ask him to tell his parents that he’d be okay.

Virgil knocked on the door, and waited. Someone who looked almost exactly like the news site photo answered. The conversation went something like this:

Virgil: So, YOU’RE Remus McFricking Sanders-

Roman: Nope, not him, whatever he said isn’t my fault.

[Roman slams door]

Virgil was pretty sure that he had, in fact, met Remus, and he was just being annoying. Roman believed that his brother had just manage to piss off yet another person.

Virgil retreated to a restaurant, and looked up the photo on the news article, just to make sure. No denying it, that was him! Same eyes, same hair, same general face-wait. 

Remus had a nose that had obviously been broken at least once. The guy who’d greeted him at the door had definitely been in less scrapes than his soulmate.

Whoops.

Meanwhile, Remus had a plan to avoid Virgil at all cost. Virgil had tried to shy away from press attention, but he tracked down a photo eventually. 

And when his brother told him that some emo with “awesome” eyes had turned up on the doorstep looking for him, he had a bad feeling.

Well, spooky boy wasn’t going to cost him his long future.

And so the dance began.

In one corner, Virgil, who had spite, stubbornness, and a deadline on his side (he had to get home to his parents eventually)! Never discount a spiteful Virgil!

In the other corner, Remus, who has nothing on his side but fate. Fate, however, has a sense of humor, and Remus read enough old myths as a child to know that whatever happens can’t be changed by petty human actions.

Virgil tries breaking and entering many times, each failing in a more ridiculous way. He is a careful, but Remus is practically Kevin McCallister in terms of traps, and he fails to meet his soulmate face to face all day and all night.

They do get to have some verbal exchanges, which are pretty much

Virgil: You think you want the existential hell of immortality??

Remus: Oh, fuck off, I’m going to have the best vampire aesthetic!

Virgil: The vampire aesthetic is wonderful, but can we do everything for aesthetic?

Both at the same time: Yes. Yes we can.

And then Virgil is herded out of the house by Remus’s pet rats.

However, the final encounter goes a little differently. No witty quips, just Virgil picking the lock of yet another window, and then a very specific sound.

Have you ever heard a stubborn emo get pulled into a portal in the spacetime continuum?

It’s a distinct sound that is along the lines of loud crash-The fu-whirring noises-nyoom-eerie silence 

Remus didn’t give a second thought before diving into the portal after him. If he had, he would have thought hey, this’ll probably bring us face to face, something I’ve been avoiding or maybe jumping into random portals in a stupid idea or I’m going to grab a weapon before just running at it. But his first impulse was to make sure his snarky soulmate hadn’t died, so into the portal he went.

The Year: 2550

The Portal: Glows a lot, thank you for asking

The Reason: A mad scientist has only one thing left to lose, and is terrified as it slips away

Logan: Logan was a geek at heart. He loved science, in both theories and practice. He probably should have toned down his obsession with Nikola Tesla. He wanted to travel to the sky, and touch the stars, and watch time like a film reel. 

Time travel was his passion. If people could travel across the physical seas, why not the metaphorical ones of time?

It was pure luck that he actually figured it out, but figure it out he did. Logan loved his creation.

He wanted to create a million inventions, but more importantly he wanted Patton to see them all.

If there was one thing he loved more than science, it was him. 

The two kept each other from drifting off into the stars, or sinking into the dirt because they’re too afraid of being rude. One of Logan’s favorite memories was he and Patton running through the St. Louis fair, giggling at terrible puns and sharing a quick kiss out of sight, before catching the next exposition. 

Patton was kind, and caring, and knew how to talk to people to get them to like him, and was just good. He was good. 

Logan dealt only in facts. And it was a fact that it would have been better, more fair for Logan to have died in the fire.

It was a fact that he didn’t (even though it felt like it sometimes). It was a fact that Patton had been the one to notice the smoke. It was a fact that the love of his life waited for a few seconds in the doorway, trying to call the cat out. It was a fact that, after Logan was out of the house, he turned around to see the doorway collapse. 

He found a way back into the house, but it took too long. 

Fact: Humans can only endure severe smoke inhalation for a few minutes before dying.

Logan took one look at his time machine, somehow still undamaged. He’d never tested it before, but he really didn’t have a choice, so he kissed Patton on the forehead and stepped into a portal.

Back To The Plot

Virgil and Remus immediately knew that they were in the 26th century. 

How? There was a sign!

Hey! If You Happen To Be A Time Traveler, This Is 2550! Check In With The Lord Cerebrum To Know More, Unless You Don’t Have A License, In Which Case

You Know What Happens

They don’t have much time to mull over this before Remus tries to murder Virgil. He’s not IMMORTAL any more, and it’s not FAIR, and it’s all HIS fault!

This is where we enter the Rivals To Friends (While On The Run From Time Management) section

Remus and Virgil have many adventures escaping from Time Management, while learning to appreciate the other as a friend. They are platonic soulmates, after all!

But Time Management is nothing if not patient, and the boys are caught eventually (you know how it goes. You forget to check around for listening ears, you use 21st century slang, and suddenly a single “yeet” and a “same” get you dragged before the Lord Cerebrum)

A Handy Dandy Guide To The Year 2550 (transcript from the Handy Dandy Infomercial Station)

Hey, time travelers! I know that everyone likes zipping around the time-stream and seeing what the fates throw at them to keep them from murdering their grandpa, but we have to do this by the Rules!

If you break the rules, you know what happens

The Year 2550 is protected by Logos Industries’s time dilation filter, to ensure that no one gets the wrong idea about going free range!

If you have a license, just proceed to the Lord Cerebrum to get your stamp of approval and philosopher disguise for the maximum positive effect! After all, Logos Industries needs funding to protect us all!

If you don’t have a license, you’ll see the Lord Cerebrum too!

Have a Handy Dandy Time :)

Back To The Plot

The boys are led through a menacing government facility, taken to see the Lord Cerebrum. They try to ask questions, but Time Management is rather disinterested in their fleeting existence, so nothing much gets answered.

The final destination is a computer room, where the Lord Cerebrum sits. His form was half hologram, half skin, his age unchanging for 526 years, and recognizable at first sight to Remus

Lord Cerebrum, aka Brain, aka Brian: Hey, Remus, what exactly did you say about outliving me?

Brian: Brian was a dick. There’s no other way to put it. 

He and Remus used to be friends, sticking brand new phones in water to see what would happen and planning out pranks (they made their history teacher think that she was being haunted by the ghost of Charlemagne!), but things changed, and by 8th grade his dickishness was on full display

It was really easy to get away with being cruel to Remus. He naturally unnerved people, and anyone in a position of power immediately knew he was trouble (which was true), so when there was a conflicting story between a star student and the kid who poured ketchup in the principal’s desk, you can guess who’d always get believed.

Brian was a dick, but he was 13. He could have grown later in life, regretted his ways (or at least stopped), but instead he touched an antique time machine on a museum tour of the Clock House (home of Logan, the famous inventor of soulmate clocks). 

He’d been planning to snap off the handle and pin it on Remus (or maybe Roman for variety), but instead

Crash-what the-whirring noises-nyoom-eerie silence

And Brian arrived in the year 2520, the first of many time travellers.

He became a celebrity. The parts of him lost in the wormhole were quickly replaced with state-of-the-art holograms, and his fame went to his head.

Thirty years of good marketing later, he was the Lord Cerebrum. And when a desperate mad scientist came crashing through a portal of his own, it was easy to get him to work for him under the promise that Brian would let him save his “Patton” once he made some technology for him.

He recognized Logan from the museum. He knew who’s fault it was that he was trapped travelling through time, whirling through the portal, praying and promising and in the end just screaming. Brian knew who was to blame for the fact that he couldn’t tell how much of his body would stay when the power went out.

So the tasks got longer and more complicated, Patton dangled like a carrot over Logan’s head. 

Fact: Logan would never win, and someday Brian would get tired of this game and there would only be one genius left in 2550.

Back To The Plot: Virgil punched the Lord Cerebrum in the face. He didn’t know all of the context, but his best friend seemed not to like the guy, and he seemed evil, so he punched the overlord in the face.

Brian was offended, and abandoned all plans for a monologue in favor of leaving them to die.

The most fitting way to do away with a time traveler is to send them everywhere at once. It’s an awful death, one where molecules are slowly lost as the traveler in question hits walls and trees and memories.

The duo managed to survive five or so timelines, before the machine miraculously shut off. A mad scientist ran into the room, unscrewed the vents in the walls, and told the teenagers that they’re late.

Things are explained as they escape the facility.

Things

Logan needed a way to break the time dilation filter. He did the math (which he tried and failed to explain to the boys), and it was determined that Remus and Virgil had the most butterfly effect capabilities to influence this particular event

Basically, removing them from the timeline changed things just enough for Logan to find the chink in the filter’s armor. 

The duo’s job is done, and Logan is only sorry that he didn’t find them earlier to get them home.

Back To The Plot

Everything seems like it’s going to be fine, and the duo are almost able to go home, when the Lord Cerebrum finds them.

CLIMATIC SHOWDOWN

An Ending

In the end, Brian is sent to the 22th century, the year where nearly all of humanity were turned into giant rats for some reason

Logan found his way back to the 1910′s, and used the 26th century technology to heal his love. The time machine burned in the fire. Good. Space travel was where it was at, anyway.

Virgil had so much explaining to do to his parents

Remus knew that no one would believe him. Roman did.

Virgil and Remus stayed the closest of friends. They dressed up as vampires for Halloween. They stuck together. They got to grow up. 

More soulmate shenanigans, amiright?

ST: TNG S4 Watchthrough Episodes 6-9

Legacy: We have ended up on the home planet of Tasha Yar… and wow it’s not a nice place. We also find out that she has a sister, welp. So… it was alright. Ishara is very similar to Tasha in demeanor, but also very different. I tilt my head at the crew being so willing to trust and accept Ishara into their midst when they know nothing about this woman. I could see the ‘she’s using them’ plot a mile away. But to be fair, the episode addresses it. They wanted to see Tasha. They wanted to see the brave, loyal, strong-willed Security Chief that they lost so callously in her sister… and in the end, that took over. While I can see why Ishara acted as she did, she didn’t know these people and hasn’t seen Tasha in years so she’s under no obligation to care about them, it really has to hurt that she used them and almost committed mass murder and make them take the lame. Her world is a hellhole so her actions make sense, but that doens’t change the betrayal. Especially for Data. Riker sums it up well, with trust comes betrayal… but without trust, there is no friendship. That’s just the cruel truth. Anyways, it was a fine episode. I like that we have a pot-mortem for Tasha even if late… but it just makes me wish that tasha herself didn’t get killed sos he could have had her own plot and feeligns focused on. It still pisse sme off and is just a reminder of so much wasted potential. But ah well, for what they had to work with, they did it welll. 3/5.

Reunion: K’Ehleyr is back… and with a child. Worf’s child, to be exact. Huh. have been waiting very patiently for a follow-up to Sins of the Father and this was an excellent one! Back in K’Ehleyr’s first episode, she was unwilling to take the Oath and Worf wanted to so much and follow the Klingon traditions. Here? K’Ehleyr is ready and doens’t care that he was discommendated… but now Worf can’t. he’s been dishonored and even if it means nothing to K’Ehleyr, it means a great deal to him. He can’t let her or his son bear that shame. It’s so hard to watch him here. How anguished he feels, the way the other Klingons treat him despite it being their damn fault that he accepted it, to begin with, just knowing that he did nothing wrong… but for the greater good, he has to bear it. He doesn’t even want Alexander to be known as his son not because he’s unwilling to accept parental responsibility but to spare him of the dishonor. Just… freakin’ ouch. I was so happy to see K’Ehleyr back and her character is just so freakin’ good and her wanting to allow Alexander to find his life path? Excellent parenting. So… needless to say, her being killed off pisses me off. They at least allowed her character to shine, but… it feels like they only did it to make Worf suffer more. It was well-executed, I was about ready to tear up and Worf being driven to kill Duras for all the suffering that he put him through and now killing the woman he loved (which btw the romantic chemistry was MUCH better here than last time)? I can’t blame him at all. I get why he got reprimanded since Duras was a political figure and this can cause a whole host of problems and clearly Picard was sympathetic… but I just felt so bad for Worf. At least he admitted that he was Aexander’s father and hopefully the poor kid will have a good life with Worf’s parents, bu… yeah. K’Ehleyr’s death stops me form giving this a perfect score, very least I wish we had gotten to see her fight instead of goign to commerical and them walking in on her bloody corpse… but at least they got the tone down. I just hope that one day, Worf and his brother can truly expose the conspiracy because Worf deserves a Hell of a lot better. 4.5/5.

Future Imperfect: Let’s perform a thought experiment, shall we? Imagine going on assignment on your birthday, business as usual… then some kind of mishap happens. You wake up… and discover that you have lost sixteen years' worth of your memory. You can’t remember significant life changes, special moments for yourself and your loved ones, or even your spouse and child. Then just as you begin getting used to things and accepting this new life… you find out that it was all a lie and you were in an illusion all along. You were captured and tricked… and then you find out that was also a lie and it was all due to a lonely alien child left on a barren planet/within a highly advanced Holodeck system that can give him anything that he wants, everyone he knew had died and he did all of this just to have a friend. Congratulations folks, you have now experienced what Riker went through this episode! Yeah, this episode was crazy. I feel bad for the poor kid, while he shouldn’t have done what he did we’re talking about a lonely child essentially forced to live in a Holodeck and just wanted to interact with someone real. Also, I loved how Riker got clued in on how the future word was fake, excellent call-back to Season One! Not much else to say, but good episode! It was wild, that’s for sure~ 3.5/5.

Final Mission: Well folks, this is the curtain call for Wesley Crusher. I know that he pops back up once or twice, but this will be his final episode as a main character as he finally enters the Academy. We’ll get to my final thoughts on Wesley here in a bit, but l focus on the episode itself first. And… it was fine. We have Picard, Wesley, and some third guy crash land on a desert planet, the Enterprise unaware of if they’re alive or not. Thus the three struggle to survive which not only is the third guy essentially a paranoid asshole… but a cave-in seriosuly injures Picard. Thus Wesley is more or less on his own and has to keep Picard alive. Thankfully we avoid killing him off, and thus they make sure to give Wesley a proper send-off. They let him showcase his strengths with his intellegence, fast thinking, and compared to in the beginning he’s much more mature and capable of handling an Away Mission. This convinced me that yes, Wesley is ready for the Academy and that he will be a great Starfleet Officer someday. Meanwhile the Enterprise are dealing with their own issues because of course they are. Nothing can ever just go easy for these people. can it? It’s fine. The Enterprise plot didn’t have me invested aside form worrying about Dr. Crusher. The poor woman just burris herself in her work to deal with her worry about Wesley and evades Troi when she tries to assure her Otherwise the plot is there sot hat it can be a solo Picard and Wesley adventure without hem interfering. Which while I havn’t been the biggest fan of their dynamic, it’s clear how much Welsey admires Picard such as recounting their Samaritan Snare adventure, and Picard admititng that he brought him along because he was going to miss the kid. It’s a nice moment between the characters and allows Wesley to truly open up… though I wish it focused more on him and his mother since that’s been seriously lacking, but ah well. It was still a good send-off episode for Wesley and that’s how you want to treat your characters, whether they stay ont he show or not. 3/5.

As for Wesley himself… it’s been a bumpy road. Do I agree with the consensus that Wesley is an annoying child character that even his actor agrees with (albeit I think jokingly but still)? No. Wesley isn't a bad character. He’s a smart young kid, tries his best, makes mistakes but tries to do his best, and he grew. He’s a perfectly likable kid and this episode especially shows the best of him. Do I agree that the character's role and execution were annoying and contributed to his reputation? Yes. That is ultimately what it boils down to decent character, poor execution. In S1 Wesley was elevated far more than he needed to be. He was given privileges that no other character his age would have been granted no matter the competency level that borders on blatant favoritism. Whenever he made a serious error, he got praise for fixing it, never scolded for his actions with The Naked Now being the worst example. He still had good episodes like Coming of Age, but alas. I think having a kid character who aspires to be in Starfleet, has a parent who is a prominent crew member, and being able to use his skills to help was a perfectly fine idea… but there were just issues with how they did it. S2 and 3 were. While I disliked him at the end of The Dauphin and he still got showed some blatant favoritism, it was better balanced. I didn't feel he earned to be an Ensign until this episode… y’know, the one that shipped him off to The Academy. Crusher being written out in S2 and then brought back in S3 also really killed any and all potential that their dynamic could have truly brought which also hurt. It really feels like by S3 they just didn’t know what to do with the character anymore, limiting him to mainly Helmsman duty. He wasn't being elevated anymore… but he wasn't adding anything anymore either. Maybe promoting him was to help give him something… but Wil Wheaton decided to go, and that ended that. I can’t say I’m sad to see Wesley go because his potential just got squandered to the point that keeping him just felt pointless, and having him go to the Academy feels like the best natural end-point for him, so might as well be now. Nevertheless, Wesley was still part of the crew and for all that I criticized, he certainly didn’t deserve the hate that he got. If people like or even relate to the character, that’s great! He just didn’t work for me unfortunateley. Wil Wheaton obviously moved on to bigger, better things and is well-liked in the fandom, so that’s good cause he certainly did the best that he could. He just wasn’t given a lot of good material. Hopefully Welsey’s later guest appearances will give him somethingg ood and heck maybe they’ll convince Wheaton to come back in Picard one day, but for now… farewell Wesley. Can’t say I’ll miss you, but it wasn’t the worst ride either.

Truths Pt. 2

A/N: So I made a part two! I hope this is better, maybe some improvement has shown. I’m getting a little more comfortable with the character(s) so hopefully this goes okay. Also, I don’t have a large fan base on Tumblr (I have a larger one on Wattpad where I write Marvel and Marvel actor fics), so if you have any requests don’t hesitate to ask me. I really only do Gerard fics, I might do Mikey.

Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader Summary: Approximately two years into Gerard’s and Y/N’s relationship, and they go to a red carpet event together. Things get creative and then sweet. Word count: 2309

“You don’t even need makeup.” Gerard complained from the couch at the back of the room you two were in. Mac and Jessica, your two makeup artists, were on either side of you, dolling you up.

“Oh please,” You lightly laughed, “I need a lot of it.”

“I just can’t wait until all of this is over.” He sighed.

“I know Gee.” You looked back for a brief moment at him in the mirror, “But you only go to one red carpet event a year.” “And it happens to be the day before your birthday.” He looked back at you. “I would much rather be preparing for that.” You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” You said, “It’s not like we do much for my birthday anyways.”

“Yeah but we could be at home,” He sighed, “Eating pizza or tacos, and I don’t know. Watching some good shit like Star Wars.” “Tomorrow, love.” He lightly smiled.

“Fucking love it when you call me that.” “I know, love.”

“Gee?” His manager walked in. He looked up. “They’re ready to get you dressed.” He let out a huff, getting up and giving you a quick smile.

“See you later.” “Bye, Gee.” You smiled back. It took an additional 45 minutes to get you into your dress and your hair done. You had chosen a long red, velvet dress with just straight hair to keep it simple. Not much of a 2000s look, but timeless nonetheless.

“Ready, Y/N?” Your manager walked in. You nodded, giving one last look in the mirror before walking out and down the hall to Gee’s room. He was already outside talking to a few people when he looked over and saw you. He smiled, looking you up and down before licking his lips.

“Hey, Gee.” You smiled, giving him a quick kiss.

“Hi honey.” He put his hand on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. He was quite a bit taller than you, even in heels. “You look beautiful.” He told you.

“Thanks,” You smiled, “So do you.”

You and Gee walked out, hands together, as you waited for you turn for photos. He continued to steal glances at you, lightly smiling whenever you caught him. “We just have to do this, for 15 minutes, then we eat okay?” You asked and he nodded. You knew he got anxious before events like this.

When the two of you were finally called out, Gee put his hand on your back, leading you two out. Everyone began shouting your names, the two sounds muffling with one another. Both of you tuned them out, looking in various cameras and giving light smiles.

Moving on to the interview area, one by one you went down the line of journalist prepared with mics and questions. Most of them were going great, a lot of the questions regarding how your band was at a huge level now. Not as big as My Chem, but getting there.

There was one interviewer in specific that seemed to piss off you and Gee though. Both internally, of course. “So, what’re your favorite brands?” The older man asked you, Gerard right next to you.

“Anything at Goodwill.” You answered and the three of you lightly chuckled.

“Can I ask you a question?” Gerard asked the interviewer.

“Sure.” He lightly smiled.

“Would you ask me that?” He questioned,

“Um, no.” He admitted.

“Alright, so then why did you ask her that?” He fired, standing there. You stood there a little awkwardly.

“Well, I um, I just-” “You did because she’s a woman?” He asked.

“Gee, stop.” You mumbled, giving him a look to stop. He sighed, grabbing your hand.

“I think we’re done here. Thank you.” He grabbed your hand, leading you to the next interviewer.

That one went much better. You each got to answer questions regarding your own success, and where MCR was going to go further. You and your group were planning on going on tour in the next few weeks, a lot of the shows sold out as shocking as it was, so you had a full agenda. “So Y/N,” The interviewer turned to you, “It’s your birthday tomorrow isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.” You smiled.

“Happy birthday!” She said.

“Thank you so much, that’s really kind.” “So, do you two have any plans.” You sighed and looked at Gerard, who was looking at you.

“Flying home at 5 am tomorrow.” He huffed, “And then napping.” “That’s about it.” You admitted.

“Gerard, do you have any plans for her?” “Well, I have a few tricks up my sleeves.” He smiled, “But I can’t tell you. She would know then.”

There was one more interviewer you had to stop by, a young guy who had some fan questions to ask. “Hannah asks: If you two could control the other’s hairstyle, what would you choose and why?” “Good question.” You pondered as Gerard did.

“I would choose natural, like it is now, for her.” He said, “Her hair is really beautiful. I mean, it always is, but it looks really good natural.” “I would probably choose the look from The Ghost of You. It was very handsome on him.” You both lightly smiled.

“The last one is from Michael: Do you two wear each other’s merch?”

“Yes.” You spoke rather fast, “I think I have two or three My Chem hoodies, they’re the comfiest things ever.” “Yes for me too,” Gee said, “I think I have one or two of their shirts, I wear them to bed though.” You nodded.

“I think I may even have one from when I first met you guys.” You said, looking at Gee.

“That’s 2004 right? Then Three Cheers?” “The best hoodie I own.” You smiled. Then the two of you were escorted into the hall, to await dinner. You were sat with Frank and Mikey who showed, as long as Henry from your band and Joe. The few of you began talking with some laughter blending itself into the conversation. Gee leaned in to whisper to you.

“Was that the hoodie you stole from our merch pile on tour?” You lightly laughed under your breath, nodding your head. “You never paid for that, ya know?” “Really, Gee?” You asked, “You’re my boyfriend.” “At the time, I wasn’t.” He smirked.

“What’re you two talking about?” Frank spoke up.

“The time Y/N stole some of our merchandise.” You rolled your eyes, sitting back in defeat.

“That was you?” Mikey asked, as if surprised.

“It was one hoodie.” You fought.

“That’s not that bad.” Frank defended you.

“She still stole it.” Gee fired back, smirking.

“Hey, Y/N, did we ever tell you the time we walked in on Gerard moaning your name while masturbating?” “Frank!” He was on the verge of laughing through clenched teeth.

“There were multiple times actually.” Mikey spoke up.

“When was this?” You lightly smiled and asked.

“2005, Warped Tour.” Your eyes went wide as you looked at Gerard.

“That was before we were-” “Yeah I know, I know.” He sighed, “Can we please move onto something else?”

“So, Gerard, do you have any plans for birthday sex with-” “No.” He stopped Frank, “We’re not going there.” “But do you?” You asked, turning to face him. He rolled his eyes.

“Oh yeah it is Y/N’s birthday tomorrow.” Henry said.

“You forgot about my birthday?” You asked him.

“Yeah, yeah I did.” He admitted.

“I didn’t,” Mikey smiled, “Your cards already been shipped.” “Aw, thank’s Mikey.” You smiled, “You’re my favorite Way brother.” “Hey!” Gerard snapped, “I’m the one sleeping with you.” “But there are other credentials.” You leaned your chin onto his shoulder, looking up at him. “I still love you the most, though.”

It was a long three hours. The only enjoyable part was the free steak, but other than that it was just bland and boring. Like any other award event ever. Just some stupid speakers, stupid winners, and even more stupid speeches.

“I wanna bail so bad.” Gerard sighed, whispering to you. Frank heard it too though, and looked over nodding.

“I know.” You yawned, “Another hour of this shit.”

“We can make up an excuse.” Frank chimed in, keeping his voice low, this time Mikey, Henry, and Joe all looked at you three, extremely attentive and ready to get out.

“How?” You asked, looking at him.

“Pretend your water broke.” “What the fuck?” You turned to Henry who had the terrible idea, “I’m not pregnant. Nor do I look like I’m nine months pregnant.”

“I could pretend to have a seizure.” Frank said.

“No one would believe that,” Gerard chimed in, “And they would call an ambulance and they would probably only allow, like, two of us to go with you.” “Wait,” You said, your mind finally shaping a decent idea. “I got it.”

Next thing you knew, Henry was in the bathroom on his phone, messaging Gerard, to give him some devastating (not true) news. You could hear his phone lightly vibrate in his pocket, him pulling it out to read a text from his “cousin”.

“We should go now.” He looked at the four of you, all of you getting up and moving towards the back doors, some people seeing you. One of the managers of the show stopped you guys. “Mikey and I, our mother’s in the hospital.” Gee began, his voice laced with the essence of distress, “We need to go.” He showed the text. He nodded, letting you all out.

You made your way looking partially in panic (it may have been from the acting or the anxiety of getting caught, none of you were sure) and back to the dressing rooms. Once there, you all got in and let out a sigh of relief. “I think it worked.” Frank said, all of you smiling and nodding.

“I do too.” You spoke up.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” Gee’s manager walked in. “You guys are supposed to be out, watching the show.” “About that.” Gerard spoke up, “We got bored and left.” “You got bored?” He sassed, “You got bored?” “Yeah we made up the excuse that my mom was in the hospital.” He sighed.

“Guys, did it work?” Henry walked in, his face dropping when he saw Gee’s manager, who rolled his eyes and sighed in response.

“Well it’s not like you guys can go back.” He said, “But the press is gonna be up all your asses for the next few days.” You all nodded. He walked out, leaving the six of you in partial shame, but overall relief.

You all resorted back to your dressing areas, changing from the too expensive articles you had on back to jeans, sweatpants, t-shirts and hoodies. The six of you then snuck back out, and into the van that had brought you there from the hotel. “Hey what’s this?” You asked, a grocery bag taking you seat.

“I’ll take that.” Gerard reached over and took it from the area it sat, putting it under his feet. You gave him a confused look, “I’ll explain later.”

The drive back wasn’t bad. You were all pretty tired, so you took a small nap, laying your head comfortably on Gee’s shoulder, which he seemed to not mind. “Babe,” You heard him lightly nudge you awake.

“Mhm?” You asked, getting up and yawning.

“We’re here.” He smiled and chuckled. You all got out, saying bye to one another before heading to your rooms.

“What time is it?” You slipped off your shoes, crashing on the bed immediately after.

“12:15.” He said, smiling. “You know what that means.” “It’s time to go to bed?” “No.” He sighed, “It’s your birthday.” He took the bag and pulled something out of it.

“What is that?” You asked, sinking into the mattress.

“Give me a sec.” He said, doing something with various objects. After a minute or two, he turned around, a cupcake in hand with a candle on it.

“Oh, Gee.” You cooed and smiled, “That’s so sweet.” He sat down next to you, lighting the candle and holding it for you as he began singing happy birthday. You couldn’t help but laugh at it, blushing at how adorable it all was. He finished up the song, letting you blow out the candle, and split the cupcake so you could each have some.

“What did you wish for?” He asked, once the two of you finished. You were laying on the white hotel bed, next to each other and just looking at the ceiling.

“You know I can’t tell you, Gee.” You smiled, “It would ruin the wish.”

“Can I ask you something?” He turned to you.

“Sure.” You turned to him.

“Will you marry me?” He asked and you smiled.

“For real?” You asked and he nodded, “Yeah, of course Gee.”

“Alright, good.” He pulled a little box out his pocket, opening it for a small diamond ring to appear. “Because then I would’ve bought this for nothing.” You lightly laughed giving him your left hand to slide it on. “I love you.” He smiled, once he had put it on.

“I love you too.” The two of you leaned in, kissing one another. “What if we get married? Today?” You asked. He gave you a confused look. “When we get back to New York, head to the courthouse and just sign for marriage.”

“We could.” He said, “I mean, your birthday and our anniversary would be on the same date. Double the sex.” “Gerard!” You laughed.

“What?” He asked, as if offended, “Do I not do a good job.” “No, you do a great job.” You smiled, “But that’s not a great reason to get married.” He nodded.

“We’ll just do it when we want to, when the time’s right.”

“When the time’s right.” You agreed and nodded.

Takeru’s 155 Q&A

To start off things, let me share (again) one of my most satisfying works from last year, that is Takeru’s Q&A section from his 30th birthday anniversary book. Looking back, I think I worked on this one for almost one week, and It felt really satisfying to finish it on Takeru’s 31th birthday ❤️

Once again, enjoy!

(Disclaimer: All translations are done by myself, pls don’t repost without permission, thank you!)

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These are the questions sent by fans through Takeru's official LINE account. Thank you for all of your participation!!

1. Is there anything you would like to do or achieve in 2019? I'd like to do anything good for my body

2. If there is one day you're not Satou Takeru anymore, what will you do? Go to sauna

3. If there is one day you become a girl, what will you do? Sing Sheena Ringo's songs in the original key

4. If you can travel back in time, when would you go? Middle high school

5. If you are being reborn, do you want to be yourself again? Not really

6. If there is an "Anywhere Door", where would you like to go? The world's best views

7. Do you think aliens exist? Not in this solar system I think

8. 10 years from now, what kind of father do you want to be? I want to avoid using weird emoji

9. If you move abroad, which country would you choose? Maybe America or Canada

10. If you got the chance to direct a film, what kind of film and who are the casts? Horror. Because it seems difficult to explain, I'll do it myself.

11. If you have to become one of the characters you've played before, who will you choose? Shishigami Hiro

12. Among of the movies created in the past, is there any movie you like to have acted in? (Anything from) Ghibli

13. Who would you like to meet the most right now? And what will you ask him/her? Hanyu (Yuzuru)-kun. "Do you want to join Amuse (Takeru's agency)?"

14. Anything you want to overcome in this year? Coughing out when sleeping

15. If you can go with your mom on a trip, where would you like to go? I don't know. I'll go where she would want to go

16. When you see food with the name you see for the first time, do you dare try? Or you tend to play safe? I tend to take the challenge.

17. If you can meet your 20-year-old self, what would you like to say? Nothing in particular

18. What kind of present you would like to receive in last year of Heisei-era? Speakers that can be used in bathroom

19. Where would you like to go on honeymoon? The world's best views

20. What would you like to do in your last day of your life? I don't want to know that day is the end of my life

21. If you can take a long holiday, what would you like to do? Watch movies. Escape room games.

22. I love Takeru-kun's singing voice. If someday you get to sing in your next project, do you want to do it? I don't mind

23. If you weren't in the entertainment world, what would you do? I imagined myself to study something related to science-field in university, but I don't know what to do next

24. What else you like in sushi other than Kohada (gizzard shad)? Between tuna and salmon, which one do you like? Tuna. I also like squid and uni (sea urchin). And also button shrimp

25. If you become an invisible person, what would you want to do? State secrets investigation

26. Favorite movie? Kimi no Na wa (Your name)

27. Do you like sweets? I like it but I rarely snacking

28. Favorite smell? Morning forest

29. What do you like in osechi (traditional Japanese new year food)? Kamaboko (fish cake)

30. Favorite manga? Tenshi na Konamaiki (Cheeky Angel) (note: he said in Yakai before that his first love is the heroine from this manga XD)

31. Do you like to go to onsen? Yes

32. If you have your own favorite/most disliked body parts, please tell us! I won't say because it's embarassing

33. Favorite color? Navy blue

34. Favorite kind of noodles? Cold soba

35. Favorite season? Winter

36. Do you like horumon (cuisine made from pork or beef offal)? I like it more than average people

37. You went to lots of places during filming or doing promotion for movies, do you have favorite region? Also please tell us if you have a must-eat food there! Hitsumabushi in Nagoya

38. If i remembered correctly, you've said that you like your home, is there any other place you like? I also like hotel

39. Any recommendation for foreign drama? Friends

40. Favorite novel? Shigatsu ni nareba Kanojo wa (also titled April Girlfriend - by Kawamura Genki)

41. What do you usually add when you eat medamayaki (fried egg)? Salt and pepper or Shoyu

42. What do you usually add when you eat freshly cooked white rice? Karashi (spicy) mentaiko

43. Please tell us your order of eating sushi! Omakase (literally meaning "I'll leave it up to you", a special course when the customer leaves it up to the chef to serve)

44. What are your memories of doing Kamen Rider? Commuting in a crowded train

45. Please tell us a happy episode from filming Den-O! We sometimes would go to Jojoen near Oizumi Studio

46. Who is your favorite Imajin from Den-O? Ura(taros)

47. If you act as (Nogami) Ryoutarou right now, what kind of person you think he will be? I think people will not change that much

48. If you have a child, what name will you give him/her? I think 2 letters would be nice

49. Among the actors-actresses you haven't co-starred with, who would you want to work together with? Fukatsu (Eri)-san

50. Among all of your projects, which role is the most fun/memorable? Rookies was fun

51. Do you still continue to learn English? Yes

52. Among all of roles you've played, was there a moment when you think it resembles yourself? Probably no

53. Is there any place inside Japan you want to go? Never-visited islands

54. Is there anything you want to learn right now? I want to learn to dance

55. When you first meet a person, what is the first thing you will look at? I got this question a lot and until now I don't know the answer. I wonder what I will look at first

56. What role you want to try this year? As a runaway child

57. Among all of your projects, is there anything you wouldn't want to watch? Basically I don't want to watch it. I don't watch most of it.

58. If you can do a sequel, is there a work you want to do? Rurouni, Kanouso, Gibomusu

59. Is there any villain role from movie/drama/manga/novel that you want to do? I'd like to if there's any (interesting roles)

60. Before you do a crying scene, how do you usually spend your time? Depends on the scene

61. What is your description of "Kakkoii"? Taking the initiative in what people hate, and don't show off your action

62. You said that you didn't like saba no misoni (mackerel with miso), was it because you didn't like mackerel itself? When I saw "saba no misoni" in school lunch menu, I would be very dissapointed. I like mackarel though.

63. If you got an offer for main cast in Taiga drama, will you take it? I like that kind of question where you don't think "If it's the main cast for Taiga I'll definitely do it"

64. Something to do to keep you healthy? Sleep 12 hours

65. Do you have any actor friends? Everyone that gave their comments in this book

66. How do you feel when you work in Rurouni Kenshin kiri (` ・ω・‘) (note: this is the actual answer (i only changed hiragana to romaji/alphabet), kiri/kiru is to cut/slash in japanese, so maybe he just felt like slashing ppl all the time XDD)

67. Something that makes you feel "I can die peacefully after doing this"? Become Ajin

68. What is the scariest thing in the world? Please see video original version of "Ju-on"

69. Have you seen Aurora? No

70. When you take a bath, what part of the body you washed first? Head

71. In what moment do you usually can be yourself the most? I am myself mostly everytime

72. If fans reach out to you in your private time, how far can we go e.g handshake/photograph? It'll be embarassing to take a photo, so only handshake is good

73. We always see Takeru-san in the acting side, do you ever think of creating a movie? If I create a movie, I also want to act in that movie

74. You showed us for a short moment in Horoyoi ads, but I want to hear more of your singing voice! Recently, is there any song that you will definitely sing in karaoke? Marigold, no I'm lying. I don't have such song.

75. You always give your best during promotions for dramas/movies, but was there any tough times? Ehh you're so kind.

76. You said that you want to take a break in this year because you've worked hard in last year, did that feeling change? It's not like I want to take break, but I think my exposure level is decreasing compared to last year

77. In Kanouso, during the moment when you weren't supposed to cry but tears suddenly fell down, how to control such emotion? I looked at her (Riko) face

78. Is there any actor/actress you admire? If I tell you, you will be more aware of that person, so because I don't want you to have such thought, I won't tell you.

79. How did you spend your time during 2019 new year? I watched Unnatural with my family at home

80. What is your special skill? Othello

81. Do you use perfume? I don't usually use it but because we're making it (as anniversary goods) this time so I'm using that.

82. When thinking about Takeru-kun, your image is strongly tied with solving riddles, how did you get into it? Also how much time did you spend in 1 day? My first time was when my friends invited me to play escape games. As long as time allows me to do it, I can do it all day.

83. Among all of Hanbun, Aoi cast, who is your best friend? Kan-chan (Suzume's daughter)

84. If you meet a person that you want to befriend, are you the type who reach out to him/her, or wait? Reach out

85. Regardless of gender, what kind of person you're not good at? People who makes mistakes

86. What is your decisive factor when choosing a project? Whether I want or I don't want to do it

87. By any chance, is Takeru-san the type of genius person with photographic memory? I'm not that kind of person

88. What do you sing when you go to karaoke? Radwimps

89. Do you do any muscle training? I do but depends on the timing

90. When you go out with somebody you like on a date, in what situation do you like? Autumn leaves

91. Has anybody said to you that you resemble someone (in entertainment world)? Shouhei's wife (Kiritani Mirei) (note: why he won't say her name directly XDD)

92. Do you have any age restriction for marriage? I'd like to do it in my 30s if I can

93. Why do you become "a man lost in love"? What a good word to express it. Love is not something you experience several times, isn't it?

94. What kind of hair type do you like for girl? I like natural, not shaped ones

95. In what moment do you think girls are cute? When you see they are excited when I choose her in SUGAR

96. When you found a girl you like, do you actively "attack" her? Of course if I like her

97. Do you like a woman who will casually do body touch, doing upward gaze, and sort of the aggresive type? I don't like it at all

98. In what moment you think you can't help but liking a girl? When she casually do body touch, do upward gaze (note: so which one do you actually like LOL -- refer to Q97)

99. Between older and younger woman, which one do you like? I like both

100. What kind of girl do you like? Girls with narrow "strike zone"

101. What is the minimum requirement for your partner to marry you? I no longer have such requirement

102. As a man, what do you think of a man who keeps looking at his phone, keeps looking at the clock when dating a woman? It's not a good thing to do, it's like he doesn't care about his partner.

103. What do you think about a fun and easygoing girl? Girls with good sense of humor are good

104. When you have a girlfriend, what kind of homemade food will you make for her? Miso soup

105. What kind of make up do you like for girls? As long as she doesn't overdo it

106. I have a person I can't forget even after so many years, Does Takeru-kun have that kind of experience? Yes for a few years, but I don't know what will happen for 10+ years

107. I called my nephews and nieces with nicknames. Does Takeru-kun have any nicknames you want to be called with? I like Takeru-san rather than Takeru-kun

108. What sound do you use as your alarm ringtone? Default settings

109. You have a really beautiful skin. Do you have any advice for it? Moisturizing

110. Any activities you've been into lately? Alternate baths (also called contrast bath therapy) (note: a kind of bath therapy where you alternate between hot and cold baths.)

111. Where do you usually go? Most recent is gym

112. Do you still hate caterpillars? Sorry, but yes

113. Do you cook? Do you have any specialities? Nope

114. Where and how you usually memorize your script? I usually memorize it with my costars moments before shooting in the set

115. For Takeru-san who loves reading, how do you usually choose books to read? I'd usually pick friends' recommendation

116. When you sleep do you prefer to turn on or off the lights? Turn off. I can't stand even the lights from humidifier

117. In what moment do you think it's nice being an actor? When people are being nice to you

118. Things like clothes, bags, shoes, is there anything that you have to make sure it's in good quality before you buy? Towel

119. If you have one full day with your beloved cats, what will you do? Cuddling its cheek

120. If you are being reborn as a cat, who do you want to take care of you? Do you want to play together with Kochirou and Puchirou in Satou's family house? Yes. (note: Kochirou and Puchirou are his beloved cats currently living in his parents' house)

121. If you can have one more cat, what name will you give? At least not names in katakana

122. Are you a dog person? Cat person? Cat

123. As a cat-lover, which part of a cat do you like? Face

124. What is your favorite Kochirou and Puchirou's pose? When they become rounded like a ball

125. If you can have a dog, what kind of dog do you like? Shiba-inu

126. Beside cat, do you have any other animals you'd like to have? Dolphin

127. Where do you want to live? Shiodome maybe

128. Have you give your mom presents from home bakery? Yes. I think you can also make mochi with those

129. If you're doing a solo trip, where will you go? Canada

130. How do you get along with Nobu-san (from Chidori)? We were working together in a variety show and I ask for his phone number

131. You were famous among the older people from long ago, what do you think about that? I don't really care about the age as long as I still got the "waa" and "kyaa"

132. In what moment do you feel happy? When I solved a riddle

133. What is your favorite song from Takahashi Yuu-kun? Hachigatsu Muika (August 6) (note: he sang this song in his 30th birthday event)

134. If you have to give a score for your acting career up until now, how many points out of 100? 60

135. In the future, can you create an event where fans can meet you directly? Yes

136. You've said before that because you can't tidy your room up so your mom had to visit your house to tidy things up, is it still the same now? I've become independent now

137. I'm still a kid, an elementary school student. When I talk about Kamen Rider, there are some kids who get along with me, but there also kids who call me weird. Is it alright that I still love Kamen Rider? Please tell me. I was also called weird by my friends in my school days so it will be alright

138. Do you plan to go to Kyoto in this year? I already go there few times

139. In what moment do you feel the happiest? I can't decide between the moment when I saw at Ruroken's (sales) performance or when I managed to clear an escape game challenge, or when I was in elementary school when I got into Yu-Gi-Oh, I got Summoned Skull from a booster pack.

140. Was there a moment when you cried while watching a movie? Usually I cried watching touching movies

141. Between the roles you've played almost simultaneously, such as Ritsu in Hanbun, Aoi, Mugita in Gibomusu, and Kazuo in Oku Otoko, which one is the most difficult to play? Kazuo

142. Recently, is there a moment when you laughed so hard? I was hitting my knees laughing while watching Aiseki Shokudou (Chidori's show) at home

143. Please tell us an episode from Kouhaku! When I hesitated to wave my penlight, but then I saw Nomura Mansai-san was waving his so I decided to follow

144. Please tell us your recommended places to visit from "Rurouni-hon Kumamoto e". Nature is always recommended. Negative ions are good for the body. (note: "Rurouni-hon Kumamoto e" was a book about Takeru doing a trip in Kumamoto, promoting places especially those which were affected by Kumamoto earthquake. A portion of the sales were donated to support Kumamoto recovery)

145. You said in the past that you couldn't sleep for a long time, how is it now? Hm it's complex but I think my internal body clock feels off

146. When telling our thoughts about your movies/dramas, do you have any preferred ways that makes you happy? When you shared it in the internet

147. My son is telling me that he wants to be a voice actor and wants to go to a vocational school. As a parent, should I support him? Did Takeru-kun get your parents' support when you want to be an actor? My parents had no objection at that time. It didn't cost me any money. By the way, do professional voice actors learn in vocational schools? I support him to become a voice actor, but I'm not sure if it's the right decision to enroll in a vocational school to become a voice actor.

148. Among all the places you've visited during your work or private trips, do you have any recommendation for us? Salar de Uyuni (note: he went to this place for X photobook)

149. When you watch a movie, do you prefer to read the original story first or straight to the movie? If I want to enjoy the movie, I'd watch the movie first. If I want to enjoy the book, I'd read the book first.

150. Can I hug you when I meet you? Maybe no

151. Do you use washing machine for drying your clothes? What will happen to your clothes after that? Wrinkled

152. What is the most important thing or person to you? People who put their faith in me

153. Are you looking forward to expand your career overseas? Rather than wanting to work in a Hollywood movie, I prefer to think more on how to make Japanese movies more visible to the world.

154. Is there anything you'd like to do in your 30s, any target or resolution? I have a few in mind, but I'll tell you when I manage to accomplish them

155. Please tell us about your vision of living your life from now on! I hope I can do more of what I want to do.

(pic: https://satohtakeru.amuseblog.jp/blog/2019/03/30th-anniversar-1c47.html)

Already renewed for a third season, the CW hit series “Roswell, New Mexico” is deep into its second season and Michael Vlamis considers it an honor to play such an amazing role as Michael Guerin. His character, ironically named Michael, is doing his best to navigate his life. His relationship with Tyler Blackburn’s ‘Alex’ even has an entire fandom following called ‘Malex!’

The talented writer, director, and producer is also known for the coveted 2019 Black List film “Blue Slide Park” and produced and stared with Chloe Bennet in “5 Years Apart” which will be coming out soon. Vlamis’ has also raised funds for “Supernatural” star Misha Collins’ charity called Random Acts of Kindness. Catch up with this fan-favorite actor as he chats about life under quarantine and his latest projects.

Colleen Bement: “Roswell”, New Mexico” is in its second season and has already been renewed for a third season. Congratulations by the way. Tell your fans what it means to you to play the amazing character of Michael.

Michael Vlamis: It’s an honor! It’s also hilarious I have the same name as my character. On set, everyone calls me Michael-Michael and has a lot of fun with it. The show absolutely changed my life and I couldn’t have asked for a more complex character to play. Michael Guerin gives marginalized voices a platform to speak and I am forever grateful for that.

CB: Is Michael going to find some happiness this season? He sure deserves it, whether he thinks he does or not.

MV: Thank you for thinking he deserves it! I feel the same, and while he’ll absolutely find some happiness, don’t be surprised if it gets ripped away from him. It’s just the way things go for Guerin. One day, I hope that changes.

CB: Would you happen to have any funny stories from the set? Our readers would love it.

MV: One of my favorite stories is from when we were shooting our pilot. I was just getting to know the cast and Nathan came to my trailer after set one night to invite me to shoot some pool at a bar the next day. I called my mom and was like, “Mom, Nathan wants to hang out! I think we’re becoming friends.” I was excited! When I showed up to the bar, I realized the cast got together to throw me a surprise birthday party, leaving me to wonder if Nathan actually did want to be my friend, ha! Luckily, he did

CB:How have you been staying “sane” during this pandemic?

MV: So many ways! Don’t get me wrong… there are days where I’ve lost all sanity, but overall, cooking, working out, finding new music, building out my next merch launch, and writing my next script have been part of the routine that keeps me focused and happy on a day to day basis. Without a routine, I’m useless.

CB: You have very exciting projects in the works. What can you share about them at this point?

MV: Thanks for saying that! Sometimes I get overwhelmed by what I’m doing, but I think deep down, I enjoy the feeling. Maybe I have lost my sanity! Who knows? In regards to specific projects, my next merch line will be released on May 2nd and I’m doing a virtual pop up that day through my @Vlambase Instagram. It’s been a ton of work, but I enjoy the creativity and giving people something to look forward to during this time where it may seem there is nothing to look forward to.

In addition to the merch, a movie I produced and starred in last year, “5 Years Apart”, just picked up distribution, so I’m excited to see how that gets rolled out. A few of my film and TV scripts are also getting circulated and set up at major production companies, so those wins are keeping my spirits up during this pandemic.

CB: “Making It” is super entertaining. Please tell us the story around this project.

MV:  LOVE that you watched it! Entertaining is definitely the right word, haha. I made this in 2014 when I was broke and couldn’t book a job. The entire idea was developed with my co-creator out of desperation. We just wanted to work! It was the first project I ever wrote, directed, produced, and starred in. I learned so much from the experience, which helped me in more ways than I’d ever realized. I also kind of predicted the future with it. This industry can be ridiculous and leave you feeling hopeless, so I made a satire of my life. Every episode, while absurd, stems from a true story. The first episode is based on an audition I had once where the casting director told my manager they were only reading actors who had, “Magic Mike Abs.” If anyone hasn’t seen this episode, once you do, you’ll understand how I predicted the future…cowboy hat, abs, GW!

CB: I love that you sold merchandise to benefit Random Acts. It is an amazing charity. How did you get involved?

MV: It really is! They’ve been great to work with. To be honest, I asked my fans which charities they support and Random Acts came up a lot. After doing some research, I noticed it was started by Misha Collins, and everything just clicked. I’m lucky to have found them, but even luckier to have the Vlambase, which is my amazing fanbase.

~ nerdalertnews

well, today marks the 8th year anniversary of the day that Lollipop Chainsaw was released, which is absolutely bonkers. here is me the first time i did mariska cosplay makeup on myself vs the most recent time i did for the occasion! (left pic is from the beginning of 2013 when i was 15, right pic is from a few months ago this year right before i turned 23)

i’ve made a few very similar posts celebrating the anniversary of its’ release over the years, but i always get very nostalgic about it this time of year because, as silly as it sounds, this game literally changed the course of my life in a very positive way. so i’m gonna write about what it means to me for the millionth time under the ‘read more’ here, lol. 

i turned 15 in may of 2012 and it was probably the most difficult year of my life. i’d been homeschooled for a couple years at that point because a number of issues had prevented me from being able to stay in public school any longer, and i’d just come out of a not great year in 2011 where i had attempted to try and go back to a public school setting for my first year of high school and it went really bad. i had lost contact with all but one of my friends that i used to hang out with in person and barely talked to anyone except my parents and my therapist anymore. i was extremely depressed and attempting to work through PTSD but a lot of the trauma was still so fresh. my anxiety was so severe that having a brief interaction with a cashier at a store would cause me to throw up half of the time. it was getting more difficult to be passionate about anything with every passing day and i spent a lot of time feeling hopeless that i was doomed to spend the rest of my life anxious and alone. at the end of that year, my health took a nosedive and i got my first auto-immune disease diagnosis, starting what would be a life-long journey of dealing with chronic illness and chronic pain, and having to juggle constant hospital visits/drs appointments and flare-ups of scary symptoms that i had no idea how to process (on top of my pre-existing mental health issues, and on top of the fact that i am autistic and didn’t know this at the time/wasn’t receiving any kind of professional validation for that yet)

lollipop chainsaw was the first game i ever pre-ordered and i was looking forward to a fun, mindless distraction the day it released. i beat the main story the next day and had an absolute blast with it, so i went to check if anyone was talking about it on tumblr and discovered that a couple of people had made some ‘ask blogs’ where they were going to roleplay as the characters and answer questions as them. i thought that sounded like a fun way to maybe get to interact with a few people, so i made one for my favorite character, mariska, and introduced myself to the other people i found. 

it is absolutely wild to think that i would most likely have a very, very different life if i hadn’t made that blog. i owe so much to that community of people and the friends that i made on there. it encouraged me to start talking to people again, both in and out of character. it re-ignited my passions for writing, which i hadn’t done anything with in years, and art, and MUSIC, oh my GOD. i learned about so many new musical artists i’d never listened to before. i discovered that mariska’s voice actor, shawnee smith, had a music career of her own and totally fell in love with her songs, which led me to watching a bunch of her other films/shows, which led me to Saw, which led me to HORROR, my FAVORITE movie genre ever and a passion that literally defines a huge chunk of my life now. hearing her sing made me want to be a musician. my parents bought me my first guitar as a gift and i was over the moon with happiness. i started taking music lessons with a music teacher who i was really able to connect with and began writing my own songs in my spare time. then, for my 16th birthday, my parents surprised me with a record player and took me out to the nearest music store so i could pick out a big stack of cheap, used records of bands i’d only ever heard mentioned a couple times before in my life. 

my life changed, completely. i spent all day rotating between writing as mariska on my roleplay blog, to creating art, to sitting on my bed and doodling in sketch books while i played Jefferson Airplane and Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd and Aerosmith and Rolling Stones and Supertramp and Earth, Wind & Fire and etc etc etc on my record player for hours. i started spending birthday/christmas gift money on clothes i found at thrift stores and discovered that i felt more like myself in a used dress from the ‘60s than i ever did in the modern clothes i was used to wearing. 

i had passions again, and friends, and i was happy to be alive. i’ve said it so many times before, but i literally do not think i would have survived that era of my life if it weren’t for the friends, connections, hobbies and general love for life that i was able to find just from being a part of the lollipop chainsaw fan community that year. it truly saved my life and i will never be able to properly thank everyone who had a part in that for how they helped me cope with everything.

happy 8th anniversary, lollipop chainsaw!! i cannot believe it’s almost been a decade now. what a long strange trip it’s been etc etc. lmao

<3

Survey #281

“is there a method to your madness, is it all about pride? ‘cuz everyone i know, they’ve got a demon inside.”

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like a celebrity? No, just a video game character and an animated movie girl when I had black hair. What color is the pillowcase(s) on your bed? Brown. Do you have a favorite day of the week? Tuesday because it’s reset day in WoW and as a mount farmer, that means I get to try my raids for the week again to continue to be denied. :’) Have you ever been in an art show? An art show, I don’t think so. I’ve had two or three things in an art museum, though. Would you consider yourself to be well-exposed to life or sheltered? I’m pretty split down the middle, I’d say. I’ve seen far more emotional pain than I think most young adults have, but at the same time, I’ve very under-exposed to adult experiences. How high is your pain tolerance? It depends on the type of pain. I can particularly say I do NOT handle stomach pains well, though. Have you ever played the game Halo? Nah, those weren’t my type. Have you ever had to learn lines for a play/skit/movie? Only songs sung together for plays in elementary school. Never solo. Do you like your nose? … Sure? Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I don’t care. Would you ever like to be a stunt person? I’m fucking dumb, I read this and thought “you mean little people?” until I read the last person’s answer lmaooo. Anyway, no. I’m not ballsy enough for that shit. Are you a pyromaniac? I find fire pretty, but it still can scare me if I’m too close to it. Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat? 110%, it’s literally what I’m doing now lmao. Can any of your friends sing very well? SARA. Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? No, no, no, no. I really don’t support pageants of any type I can think of, beauty in particular. What a way to scream “HEY THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, again, especially in beauty pageants. That fucks people up. What a way to start things like self-loathing, eating disorders, body dysphoria, etc. Do you have piano fingers? Mom has always told me that, “like Grammy.” Have you ever slept on a beach? YIKES, no. I ain’t fuckin’ with the tides going in and out or just a massive wave. I’d also feel WAY too vulnerable. Would you like to be taller? I’m cool with my current height. Are you a fan of piercings on the opposite sex? I just like piercings in general. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No, besides play getting too rough. Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it? It’s easy to do that lol. The Notebook in particular will 100% make me tear up. What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? He’s an incredibly talented actor that I find very attractive, but I don’t know him as a person. Can you speak in different accents? Just British and southern. Who was the last person you mocked/mimicked? My nephew, playfully of course. If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? THE ABSOLUTE WORST. What size shirt do you normally wear? Ugggghhh generally 2XL, I think. It can be one size smaller or one size larger depending on the shirt. Has anyone ever aimed a gun at you? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a song? Just poems. Do you believe there is life on other planets? It’s possible, but I don’t particularly lean a certain way, I think. The universe is just… infinite, you know? But also the circumstances that life rose within Earth were so remarkably perfect to support it that I don’t entirely know if it’s been duplicated elsewhere. When was the last time you fell? Around two weeks ago? I have extremely low blood pressure naturally but also amplified by medications’ side effects, and I got out of bed too fast when I woke up. Hurt my knees pretty bad and barely missed my head hitting the couch. Do you have any sort of debt? I do NOT want to think about this. Is there a specific time period that interests you? The era of dinosaurs of course, as well as the Renaissance, just to name a couple. Do any of your friends own an expensive car? *shrugs* Have you ever been on a train? No. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Are you, or anyone you know, an atheist? I know plenty. Have you ever sent a celebrity fan mail? No. Have you ever been in a musical? No. Is there a friend's family that makes you feel like you're family too? Yeah, Sara’s. Even though I’ve only been with them not that long of a time, they’re wonderful and made me feel so welcome. Do you ever have a fear of getting close to new people? Boy, do I!!!!! It’s funny though, because at the same time, I want to be close with people; I want to rush to the point I have a close friend. It’s weird. What is the worst things about work? N/A And the best? N/A Do you like to sleep in? Not really, honestly. I feel groggy and lazier than I naturally am lmao. Do you like to be an early bird? Well I’m in my best mood in the morning, but I don’t like waking up early. However, I’ve been planning a morning routine to adopt once we move that involves waking up at like 7 or so, so we’ll see how much I enjoy mornings then. But oh boy do I have a habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, so… What is something you notice you just don't watch? History stuff and usually action. Last thing that bothered you even if just a little bit? Something Miss Tobey said to me a few days ago. Last thing that seemed a blessing from above? I don’t believe in supernatural “blessings,” but I’ll bite. The thing that made me happiest recently was uhhhh… I actually don’t know. Nothing that REALLY felt “blessing-ish.” Do you usually drink diet or regular soda? Regular; I can’t do diet. It tends to taste horrible but more importantly the artificial sweetener gives me a wicked headache. Are you on a diet? Not a diet, no. I’m more so just trying to make it a habit to simply eat better and not snack. Someone you highly respect who is not in your family? Sara’s dad. Did you say 'goodnight' to anyone last night? I don’t think I did. Does anyone ever comment on the appearance of your handwriting? People tend to point out it’s really nice. Have you looked at anyone's Facebook profile lately? Whose? Nah. Did you have a cake for your last birthday? What kind? Yeah, red velvet. Can you recall the first horror film you ever watched? How old were you? I actually don’t think I can. Maybe Paranormal Activity? Or The Blair Witch Project? When’s the last time that you mailed a letter or a package to someone, and who was it to? Sara’s bday gift I think. The last book that you checked out from the library? I haven’t done that in years. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman got neutered, and the only time I took Venus to the vet was when I first got her and she refused food for almost a year. Changed the tactic of warming the mouse up and she was more than happy to snag it. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at the pet store? The reptiles, because they’re closest and also my favorite section. Last medication or item that you picked out from the drugstore? Nicole picked up a bunch of my prescriptions that needed refilling. Do you usually have a big list or a small list when you go to the grocery store? I don’t do the shopping here, so it’s not my choice. How much was the last check you deposited? How about the last amount that you took out? I have no clue. Have you ever been admitted into the emergency room? For what? Being suicidal and then a suicide attempt. Have you ever been arrested before? Ridden in the back of a police car? No to the first, but yes to the second because that’s just how you’re transported from the ER to the psych hospital here. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? Thank God no. When did you graduate high school? 2014. How much gas can fit in your gas tank? N/A Does your vehicle break down a lot? N/A What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a sit-down restaurant? I want to say at LEAST 45 minutes once. Can’t remember why it was so busy, though. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? I’ve had cavities and braces, but thank Christ no root canals, and I’ve never had to have a tooth pulled by the dentist, either. Which art forms do you appreciate the most? Man, you can’t ask this to someone who enjoys art so deeply. Like I really don’t know what I enjoy *most*. Music can give me chills, poetry can be so rich and, well, poetic, and traditional artwork strikes awe and makes you wonder how they do it. I just adore art. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? To start, I have very mixed feelings about zoos, but I guess I am *mostly* in favor of humane, adequately providing captivity to a certain degree as this allows for conservation of especially endangered species, and zoos also make it easier to study and understand the silent voices of those we share the earth with. As well, they offer a safe environment to expose the fearful to all sorts of animals, and I feel it is very, very important for humans as the alpha species to care for and understand (as best our language barriers allow) our wonderful neighbors. That being said, I definitely believe that a lot of zoos under-provide for their animals, and this is horribly heartbreaking so that I absolutely disagree with their “right” to own and display animals, but for this specific question, I am going to use my state’s zoo as the standard here. Ashboro, imo is pretty damn great and generous to their animals (you should see the miles of land the elephants, bison, antelope, and rhinos have!), but the exhibit that comes to mind first when mentioning animals I’d like to set free iiiis… you know, I don’t know. I was going to say the polar bears since it can get STUPID hot here in the summer and their abode doesn’t have a great amount of ice that survives the sun, but at the same time I’d be very wary about returning a polar bear home for… obvious reasons. I say “I don’t know” because I’m not gonna pretend to know what ample space is for so many different kinds of animals. Damn, now I really wanna go there. Wow this was a long answer to a p simple question lmao. Favorite kind of fish? I don’t have a distinctly “favorite” fish, really. I don’t know enough of ‘em, but I can say I really like clownfish and angelfish. What kinds of museum artifacts fascinate you? Whew, as someone who took Art History just last year in school, ancient art pieces of all sorts! It is so, so fascinating, watching the evolution of art and to see how the urge to just create extends so, so far back into history. Have you ever gone to court before? For a disability case, yes. Also to convince a judge that I didn’t need to stay in a mental hospital for I think the original plan was around six months. What is the last song that you danced to? Ha ha I watching Hotel Transylvania with my niece and nephew and did the macarena with ‘em. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Margaritas or sangrias. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No. Are you more likely to fly in an airplane, or pick people up/drop them off at the airport? Historically, pick people up. Which sporting event would you be most likely to sit through? Dance competitions. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Cone or dish? Any sprinkles? My favorite Basic Bitch flavor is vanilla, just with chocolate syrup. Cone or dish just depends on what I’m feelin’, really. I hate sprinkles on anything; the texture throws me off. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. What do you eat most frequently? Uggghhhh some form of bread, probably. Are you a fan of video games? Yeah, but not as much as I used to be. What's your favorite color combination? Idk really, I like a lot. I will say though that orange and black excites me bc Halloween Vibes. Did you share a locker at school? No. What's one sport you could never play? Wrestling, ew. Have you ever sung karaoke? Oh god no. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? lmao BRO tell me this a joke How old were you when you went on your first date? Idr, sometime in the 7th grade, if group dates in middle school even count? lol Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. If so, who? An ex and probably doctors at some point? Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? Sunday school, really. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? Considering I’ve never left the country, no. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? I only have a laptop. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? No, but I seriously need to memorize my mom’s. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above. Do you know how to use Photoshop? I know how to do a decent number of things, but I’m definitely no expert. Where was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. What's the best place you have ever eaten? Olive Garden is fucking fantastic, fite me about it. Do you own a hair straightener? No, I don’t need one. Are you barefoot right now? I always am at home unless it’s cold enough to need slippers. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nah. Do you need AC right now? No; it’s actually pretty cold inside rn. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? It’s just a derivative of my first name; “Britt.” But I guess that classifies as a nickname. Name something you're proud of. Deciding to actually *try* to move on and making massive progress through it with That Person. Lately I’ve wondered if I truly have, though. My PTSD has been really bad of the late. Does any accent annoy you? I can’t say it “annoys” me, given you can’t really control your accent, but I do find it difficult to understand extremely southern accents, even as a local. Do you take vitamins? This just reminded me I’ve been out of my Vitamin D prescription for a while… oops. I’m supposed to take it for my legs. When was the last time you took aspirin or some other pain reliever? Yesterday, actually. I had a pretty bad headache. When was the last time you deeply regretted something? God, last night, I was remembering and accepting some things. Lemme just say I regret the everloving fuck out of the subject. What is something that you regularly wear that makes you stand out? Besides my lip ring, nothing in particular. Do you prefer small birthday parties or big ones? Small. I just don’t like big gatherings in general. What song are you listening to now? “Creatures X: To The Grave” by Motionless In White. What was the most traumatic experience of your life? The breakup w/ Jason. I’ve told the story enough in surveys and I don’t wanna recite it again. Who was your childhood best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends now? On Facebook, anyway, but we don’t talk. If not, why? We just drifted apart. What is one career you don't think you could do no matter how much it paid? Butcher. No fucking way. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Oh yeah; I’m an admin at the Silent Hill wiki and have invested hours upon hours upon hours helping out there for years. I’m also a content moderator at the Team Ico wiki, and I’ve also assisted a lot at the meerkats wiki because it is a fucking grammatical and formatting catastrophe. I think that’s it? Wait no, I did a few fixes on the Dragons of Atlantis wiki when it was still at the Kabam website, too. Is there a website [besides social networking] that you check almost daily? Yeah, a few. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? I wouldn’t say I get scared, no. Just more aware and cautious. What’s the worst illness you’ve had? I’ve had a fucking wicked stomach virus before. (TMI alert?) I would not stop puking to the point it was agonizing to the point of tears because my muscles were so exhausted. Which do you prefer: M&M's, Skittles, or Reese's Pieces? BITCH can I choose all???? But in almost any chocolate-related case, I will choose a Reese’s product. Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? I don’t plan on getting a face tattoo, or at least a big one. Maybe something small and cute. OH YEAH EW absolutely never getting my sclera tattooed. That looks painful as a motherfucker. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. If your parents could read your thoughts, would you be in trouble? Not usually. Mom might be mad sometimes when I’m angry at her. Have you ever egged somebody's house or car? No, that’s childish as shit. My childhood house was egged once, so it pisses me off especially. Do you like licorice? UGH no, that shit is disgusting. Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? My mom did. Which natural disaster do you find the most terrifying? Tornadoes or earthquakes. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? Alice in Wonderland. If I gave you a Yo-Yo right now, could you do any tricks? Nope.

Oh I'm glad you got to rest more today tho!! Are you feeling okay this morning?? HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! Will you be doing anything special to celebrate it?

Fan-Haikyuu team? (I may just be dumb, but is that when you think of actors who fit the Haikyuu characters?😭😭😭I'm probably wrong but that sounds really cool) I'm just taking a short break from work, and I'll continue again in a while ^-^

in that case I sincerely hope you have something every morning :] (question: rice or noodles??) Oh I see!! I don't drink milk with my tea... I've never tried it because my mom always says tea is better without milk (but maybe that's just her 😝) but I love green tea the most.

aaah that's just so precious. And yeah the mbti test was pretty hard for me too, but I like my classification a lot. It sums me up perfectly, now that I think about it.

YOUR QUICHES ARE PROBABLY TO DIE FOR ISTG. Pizza's are also a good way to sneak cheese in! I made some yesterday for dinner and I'm pretty sure I used a lot more cheese than needed xD but oh well, cheese is bae 😼🤚

omg your parrot sounds ADORABLE! What's its name? And ksjdksks yes toads are very cute too :> they're like creatures mostly found in fairy tails, so I find that nice. But yes, in general, all animals are perfect and deserve love :) my club's logo is a lion, so I kinda like lions too (they're just big cats with pretty hair tbh)

You're tempting me to not do it, sir— 😼

omg noooo I'm sobbing that's fullproof istg. But yeah smh amateurs :] were the stories any interesting, or was it just school books related to the syllabus ? We don't have that here tbh we just have the literature components to our language studies, and that's the only books they make us read (but everyone buys the summary from bookshops so no one ever reads the whole book anyways)

thank you for reminding me, my precious cookie, I'll certainly keep that in mind and take more frequent rests :) I hope you do the same too, and smile often!! (I'm sure you have the prettiest smile), and of course, a wonderful day ahead.

AKDBDLSBDKSK NOOOOO SCIENCE PUNS I'M MELTING. 😝That's so cute, because you're Hydrogen; my number 1 !!

Love you love you LOVE YOU!

—Ari

Hey hey!! I'm feeling great, I've had a headache since the pillow said "fuck you" and somehow got messed up, but I took a pill and had a drink, and ow I'm better:D Thank youu!! I'm not sure I will, since my mom is going to a relative's birthday and im gonna stay at home alone, so might as well just make myself grilled cheese while watching Netflix. But, if i were at school right now, we'd definitely have a festival (or as close as we can get to a festival, considering the school's budget) or something similar to that, hehe. The school really made a huge deal out of holidays. I really miss it sometimes, cuz it never feels like a holiday at home, even during new years:/

Ohh, I meant like, creating original characters and shoving them all into the HQ universe and making it a team. Lemme show you the least of the team members xD

We're still working on the staff and the leftover characters' designs. I made school and volleyball uniform, but they dont look great so I'll probably work on them more!!! Me, Kuro & Liza (the friend) are making it, with Kuro being the main artist and Liza creating the characters. I'm responsible for the stuff. It's pretty fun. Hahah, sorry for rambling like that, it's like a personal passion project, and it's the only productive thing I can do while having fun, so I'm very happy about it~

I really love noodles♡ anything related to noodles is my favorite. If only you'd see me freaking out when I see spaghetti on our school menu XD I wish we got to make noodle soup more often. I love it so much😭

I only prefer rice when it's really spicy. I love spicy stuff a lot, and plain rice/rice soup feels really weird and my picky ass doesnt like it. I also love Pilaf (we call it plov here), it's not always spicy but it still tastes good😝

Oh, I think you should try it! It's really good, kind of plain but still nice. I'm really picky about my tea and I havent drunk any good tea in ages, but I remember a really nice cafe that served PERFECT green tea. I miss it😩 It was when I went on a school event, we got to roam around the city (with the teachers of course, because most have no idea where they are haha), and I visited that cafe, and I absolutely loved everything about it.

OH YEAH, but pizzas are really thin and get eaten fast, while quiches and pies are more fulfilling XD that's just me probs but still~

Ahhh, my parrot's name was Molly! Though only after her death I realised that it was indeed a "he", which was awkward. But the shopkeeper said it's a girl, and we were uneducated, so it's not our fault XD it was the cutest, tbh. It loved running after my pens when we played on the table. Sadly, my disgrace of a father kept reopening the front door in winter and overfeeding it when I wasn't home, so the parrot passed away:( one more reason to hate the old man, haha~ dont worry, I'm over it :D

Omg!! Lions, lions are so wonderful🥺🥺 Our school logo is a bird,

Hopefully it's visible. The pic is transparent, sorry for that XD

The stories weren't the best. There were children's turkish books, a few kazakh classics, a Harry Potter book (I hadnt gotten a chance to read or watch them, but after the Rowling situation I kind of lost any wish to somehow associate with the books) and honestly the Russian ones were the only readable ones:D (also, what little cheaters they are XD tbh our guys probably would do the same)

I'll try my best to smile whenever I can~ itll be easy if i just keep you in mind, shortcake;D

Ohhh that one is adorable!! I love you muchh😭🥺💕💕

My Girl Series: Chapter 1 - Treehouse

…in which Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same.

Series description: Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same, years later they meet again at a funeral.

AU: actor!harry, older!harry, younger!y/n; (4-year age gap)

wattpad link

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"Y/N, would you like to go next?"

The little girl lifted her eyes from the pink notebook and looked around to find the whole class staring at her. She saw Melanie George walk back to her desk, cracking a smirk and thanking the other kids for praising her story about the Cinderella themed birthday party.

"Y/N," Mrs. Mai called again, this time raising both eyebrows at the nine-year-old who was slowly sinking into her chair and shaking her head fast.

Before coming to class that day, Y/N had wanted to share her story for the weekend assignment. She had worked so hard on it and she couldn't be prouder of herself. But after hearing all the other kids talk about cool things like trips to Disneyland, family vacations, and massive birthday parties, she was afraid that her story wasn't interesting enough and everyone would start making fun of her for it.

"It's okay, Y/N. Come up here and don't be shy," the teacher said with a smile, leaving the girl no choice but to bring her pink notebook to the front, and finally face her fear of public humiliation.

"I...Uh...My...My story is..."

As Y/N began to read aloud the words on the page, she could hear the other kids sniggering at her. In fact, it was all she could concentrate on as she wished to disappear from the face of Earth and never return again. But she knew it was never that easy. That moment in the classroom was her reality, and she could either face it or tell the teacher she couldn't continue anymore.

Just as Y/N was about to go for the latter option, she accidentally met a pair of blue eyes in the front row. The tiny girl named Celine gave her two thumbs-ups and the brightest smile she had ever seen, and that was all the encouragement she needed right then. Even though she didn't believe in herself, now she knew at least one person in that room might.

Mrs. Mai shushed the whole class, telling them to be quiet so Y/N could begin. "Go on, Y/N," she said. "Tell us, what does true happiness mean to you?"

With a quiet, trembling voice, and eyes on the notebook page, little Y/N began, "my definition of true happiness...is the boy next door. His name is Harry Styles."

Everyone, including the teacher, was taken aback by that intro. They had expected a less interesting version of Melanie George's story, something about tule skirts and pink tiaras, not a boy. But soon enough, the whole class fell to silence as the little girl, now with confidence, went on about the night she first met her lovely neighbor.

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Y/N met Harry a few weeks ago on a Wednesday night.

Her mum and dad were fighting again. In fact, she couldn't recall the last time they laughed during dinner or kissed each other on the cheek like the other parents did. She used to wonder about that a lot. But now that she was so used to their daily arguments, Y/N just took it at face value and accepted that not all parents were supposed to love each other.

Sometimes they fought about money, sometimes about people whose names she couldn't recognize. But that Wednesday night, things got so intense that her parents started throwing things, not at each other, but she heard glass shattered against the wall, and remembered how her mother used to say, ' a relationship, just like glass, couldn't be mended once broken.'

The little girl abandoned her room that night and ran to the backyard, where she could escape from the tension indoors, from reality, from all the broken things she couldn't fix, even if it was just for a little while.

Her mother used to try growing a garden out there, but it had been too long since she watered the plants or mowed the lawn. Now it didn't really look like a garden anymore. But Y/N loved it still. She loved how orderly the grass grew without the help of human hands; she loved to spot a few red and yellow wildflowers here and there, like little surprises the neglected garden had for her. Even so, she still couldn't help but fantasize about what was on the other side of the fence.

The Styles' backyard was a dream come true. That family grew all types of flowers you could possibly name; carnations, hydrangeas, daisies, lilies,...they had it all. Their lawn was always freshly trimmed, and the sprinklers came on every morning at 6AM, like an alarm clock for the whole garden. Y/N had always envied the kids over there for that magical place. She had never really met them, but she'd seen them a couple times before, a boy and a girl, both older than her.

But the main reason Y/N was so obsessed with her neighbor's yard was their treehouse. She had never seen the kids next door play in it, and the big tree was leaning towards her house more; so Y/N just assumed it also belonged to her family, therefore also belonged to her. All she had to do was climb on top of the fence, and from there, she could step on the lowest branch to reach for the rope ladder. Ever since the first time she'd discovered the place, it had become her most favorite hideout.

That night, however, as Y/N returned to her tree fort, she found out she wasn't the only one there.

"What are you doing in here, kid?"

The boy with dark brown hair immediately got up from the floor as he saw her at the entrance. He was a whole head taller than her, yet too skinny to beat her up. So even though that was his treehouse and she was the intruder, Y/N wasn't afraid of him.

Instead of apologizing, she put both hands on her hips and raised her voice at her green-eyed neighbor, "don't call me a kid, you're still a kid!"

The boy scoffed as he was surprised by her attitude.

"How old are you?" He asked

"Nine..."

"I'm thirteen. I'm older than you so you're a kid. Now get out!" The boy shouted at her, pointing a finger to the door. But as soon as Y/N burst into tears, he completely freaked out. He thought he was the reason, but it was actually a lot of things. She couldn't go back inside, she couldn't even stay in the treehouse where she felt safe. The girl didn't know what to do next, so she just started weeping.

The boy had never made a girl cry before, and now he remembered how his mother had always said, 'only weak men would pick on women'. So he felt really awful.

"Hey, kid...You know what? Maybe you can stay here for a little while," he said,, with a bit of hesitation and a hand on her shoulder, but somehow those words worked like a charm. Y/N quickly wiped away her tears, and looked the boy in the eyes as she smiled at him.

"You know who you remind me of?" He asked, leaving her confused.

"Who?"

"Bambi. You know, the deer in that Disney movie."

"I know who Bambi is." She glared at him. "But why?"

"You have pretty eyes but they're so sad, like Bambi's," he told her. "I'm gonna call you Bambi from now on."

Y/N didn't know why she felt offended by that nickname he'd just given her. "I have a name," she said. "It's Y/N."

"I'm Harry. Harry Styles," the boy introduced himself with confidence, and smiling, he said, "nice to meet you, Bambi."

And just like that, Y/N and Harry had become friends. They spent the rest of the night there, pretending like they were pirates and the treehouse was their ship, and their laughter somehow brought her gloomy garden back to life.

Harry told Y/N that she was more mature than the kids her age, therefore was qualified to hang out with him, and the girl couldn't be happier about that. Her life had been boring and repetitive before she met him, but that night she couldn't even fall asleep. She lied in bed, eyes opened, wide awake, waiting for the morning to come so she could see the boy again.

Harry Styles, without a doubt, was the definition of true happiness.

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"Hey, I really liked your story."

The soft voice pulled Y/N's attention away from her book as she looked up, receiving a smile from the tiny kid named Celine.

"Thank you. Wanna sit?" She said, patting on the spot beside her on the swing, and the curly haired one said yes in a heartbeat.

Y/N had never actually spoken to Celine Fischer before, but she had always noticed the girl, probably because Celine was the tiniest fourth grader she had ever seen. The boys in their class could say anything they wanted about her braces or her short legs, but no one could deny how special Celine was, it was her smooth brown skin and vivid blue eyes that made her stand out from all the others.

Y/N was very jealous of that. She'd read too much about female book characters with blue eyes, fair skin, and blonde hair to believe that someone like herself could be beautiful. But maybe those books had been all wrong. Celine didn't have all of those features, yet she thought Celine was beautiful, so there had to be someone out there who thought the same about her.

"What are you reading?" The tiny girl asked, leaning over to check out the book her new friend was holding.

"A Little Princess, by Frances Hodgson Burnett."

"Oooh, is it good?"

"It is."

"But there's no picture!"

"That's because only babies read picture books," Y/N said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, proudly straightening her back when she saw the admiring look on Celine’s face. "You see, Harry is four years older than us. I don't want to act like a baby around him."

"Are you and Harry dating?"

Y/N told Celine to be quiet and looked around cautiously before she leaned in closer, asking her friend to do the same so she could whisper in her ear. "Don't tell anyone or else it won't come true."

"What won't come true?"

"Harry and I," she said under her breath. "I want to marry Harry when we grow up. But my mum said that if you told too many people about your dream, it'd be more unlikely to happen."

"Really?!" Celine gasped, and then swore to Y/N that she would never talk about her dream of becoming an actress again.

"Harry wants to be an actor!" Y/N exclaimed as soon as she heard the girl. "Maybe when Harry and I are married, you could be in the same movie with him."

The thought of that far future got both girls giggling in excitement. They spent the rest of their break-time on that swing, talking about so many other topics. And by the end of the day, they had become good friends.

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Despite her complicated family situation, Y/N was very close to her mother, who had taught her everything she needed to know about growing up as a girl. So when she turned eleven and got her first period, she wasn't afraid, actually, she was thrilled! She had been waiting for that day for so long just so she could finally be seen as a grown woman, or at least that was what her mother had told her. The first person she wanted to break the news to, besides her mother of course, was her next-door neighbor Harry.

The girl ran to his house right after breakfast, trying to contain her excitement, as she shouted out loud before even reaching his front door, "Harry, Harry, I got my first period!"

But her Harry was not alone on his porch. He was sitting in a circle with some kids his age, all were boys, and they were fooling around instead of studying like they should be. The older kids turned their heads at once to look at a confused Y/N when she stopped a few steps away from the porch. Then all of a sudden, they burst into laughter, leaving the little girl embarrassed despite not knowing what they were laughing about and why.

Harry immediately told everyone to shut up as he rose from the floor and walked over to take her hand. "My friends and I are busy right now." He leaned down and spoke to her softly, "you go home, alright? I'll talk to you later."

Y/N didn't get the implication so she announced her big news once again, just as loud and excited as she'd been before. "I got my first period! Mum said I'm an adult now!"

"You're ten years old!" Some kid on the porch shouted at her.

"I'm eleven! Get your facts straight!" She countered, causing Harry to snort as he found her angry little face and the way she stomped her feet quite adorable.

"Shut your mouth, Brian! We already know you can't do math!" Harry's remark made everyone laugh, and the chubby kid named Brian sat there in silence as his face turned red from being called out that way. Harry took everyone's distraction as an opportunity to walk his neighbor a bit further away from them, so their conversation wouldn't be heard or interrupted anymore.

He laid both hands on Y/N's small shoulders, then looked the girl in the eyes and started lecturing her, "you shouldn't tell everyone about this, Bambi. This should be personal."

"But..." His advice left a pouty frown on her face. "I thought it would make me cool..."

Fifteen-year-old Harry couldn't help but crack a smile as he heard those innocent words.

"It is very cool!" He said. "There's nothing wrong with it at all, and nobody should laugh at you for it." That was what he'd heard his mother say to his big sister Gemma a couple years ago, and she had also taught him about this kind of stuff. Now he knew enough to not act like an idiot and make fun of girls for the way they grew. "But only people who truly care about you will realize how cool it is that your body is changing. Dumb kids like Brian doesn't know anything and would just be mean to you."

"People who care about me?" She bit her lip to hold back a wide grin. "Like you?" When he nodded she felt like her heart was about to explode. "So...You think I'm a woman now, right?"

For that question, Harry shook his head. "You're only eleven, you're still a little girl. When you're older, like Gemma now, then you're a woman."

"But boys don't like little girls."

"That's not true. I'm a boy and I like you."

"You do?!" Y/N started grinning from ear to ear as soon as she heard him.

"Of course I do." Harry nodded fast, curving his pink lips into a solid smile as he said, "you're my girl."

Y/N didn't know what to reply, she was all flustered and blushing hard. She wasn't sure if Harry could see how happy he'd made her just by calling her his girl. Maybe he couldn't see it. Because her mother had said that boys wouldn't always see what you wanted them to see, like the way you twisted your hair around your finger because you were nervous around them, or the way your smile grew bigger only for them, or the frown on your face when they didn't notice you. Harry was a boy, after all, Y/N didn't expect him to see it. But she hoped that someday he might.

"Now go home, Bambi," the boy said as he stroked her head. "I'll see you later."

"At the treehouse?" She giggled, gripping the hem of her skirt tightly.

"At the treehouse," he confirmed with another smile, then returned to his front porch.

And so little Y/N walked home, humming the song on that cereal commercial her dad found annoying. In her head, she kept replaying the words 'my girl'.

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When Y/N turned thirteen, everything had changed.

Harry started spending less time with her and more time with his group of friends. Although she had Celine to keep her company, it would be a lie to say she didn't miss him. Every time she looked out of her window and saw him with his friends, some of whom were girls, all pretty and mature, Y/N felt overwhelmingly sad. She didn't know if it was considered a heartbreak, but she guessed it was close.

Her mother said when your heart broke for the person you truly loved, it would be one of the worst kinds of pain though it wasn't physical; it hurt you to the point you would never be the same again. Y/N knew it was gonna happen to her. What she didn't know, was exactly when.

"Bambi!"

The familiar voice made Y/N drop the book in her hand, and rush to the doorway of the treehouse to look down at a smiling Harry. He waved at her and she waved back with extra enthusiasm.

Seventeen-year-old Harry was a daydream come to life. He had one of the most beautiful faces Y/N had ever seen. She'd witnessed the girls in their town swoon and sigh as he came to Church on Sunday morning, or went for a run around the neighborhood. After all, he had always been handsome. But the older he grew, the more attractive he came to be.

Now his shoulders were broader, his legs were longer, and the features on his face became more prominent, like his high cheekbones and well-defined jawline. Soon he had turned into the perfect male protagonist in every romantic novel she was obsessed with. There were only two things that remained the same: his leaf green eyes, and the dimpled smile that shone like the morning sun.

"Reading?" He asked, looking up with both hands in his pockets, and there came that smile again.

"Yup." She nodded. "You coming up?"

Y/N was grinning from ear to ear. But a simple word 'no' had her torn to pieces.

"I can't, kid. I gotta go to this concert in an hour."

"Oh, sounds cool...Can I come?"

He breathed out a laugh, and the look he was giving her was already the answer she didn't want to hear. He told her she needed to be at least sixteen to get in, and since she was only thirteen he couldn't take her with him.

"But don't worry," he said. "I'll record videos for you."

"Oh...Okay. Have fun then."

Frowning, Y/N intended to turn away, when suddenly he called her by that dearest nickname again. She looked back at where he stood, still the same smile on his pretty face.

"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? I can help you with your math homework," he said with dimples on his cheeks.

"Sure," she replied, just less excited this time as Harry returned to his house without looking back. Of course, she knew she was just a kid to him. He wasn't hers. He had never been hers. But at that moment while watching him walk away, Y/N began to feel like she was slowly losing him.

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After the concert that night, Harry came home very late.

It was nearly 12AM and Y/N was still awake because she, once again, waited until the last minute to study for an exam in two days. She saw headlights pulling over in front of the house next door, and went to her window to see if it was really him.

That was when she saw Harry get out of his car and come to open the door on the passenger side for his blonde-haired date. That girl was a real-life book character, blue eyes, glowing skin, golden locks falling right past her slim shoulders. She was everything Y/N had ever wanted to be. She was what Harry wanted.

Right now, it seemed like they were having a blast as they were both laughing while wrapping their arms around each other. Y/N knew she should just go to sleep, yet deep down inside, she was curious about the girl. So she dropped her homework and quietly left the house, heading to her backyard where she assumed they might be.

From the distance, she could see a light in the treehouse. Her heart was pounding as she had both hands linked and placed against her chest. Nobody else besides the two of them had entered that treehouse before. It was their fort, their hideout, their spot, theirs. But now as she was standing from afar, she saw Harry and the other girl up there. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and hers around his neck, their foreheads rested against each other, and he stared at her in a way he had never, and would never do to Y/N.

The thirteen-year-old felt like she couldn't breathe. She stood like a scarecrow in the middle of her backyard, with pain in her chest, looking at the couple of teenagers who were too lost in their own world to notice her.

Harry sat on the floor, pulling the girl down with him as he picked up the guitar in the corner and started playing her a song. He had told Y/N she was the first and only girl he'd ever sung to. Now, she was just the first. She couldn't hear what he was singing to the girl, but she bet it was beautiful, and her heart ached a little bit more. She didn't know why she was still standing there and torturing herself by watching them; but her feet had been glued to the grass and now she couldn't move.

Harry finally laid the guitar aside as he scooted closer, and so did the girl. They exchanged the same kind of look they had before, but this time he leaned in and gently pressed his lips against her lips.

At that very moment, Y/N's entire world came tumbling down right before her eyes. She felt as if someone had placed hot coal by her heart and left it there to slowly burn her from inside out, and now she was struggling to even breathe. Her tears began to fall and her chest tightened as she ran back inside the house, up to her room, and collapsed on the bed the second she got to it.

It was the first time in a very long time she had cried that hard. She cried like she had never cried before. She cried because it hurt so much. That invisible pain felt worse than the time she crashed her bike into a tree, worse than when she saw her mother sobbing on the kitchen floor and her dad drunkenly shouting at everything in his sight.

So that was it then. That was what it felt like to have your heart broken by someone you truly loved. And it was much much worse than what she had imagined it would feel like. The biggest question then, was how long it was gonna last.

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Ever since that night, Y/N had decided to stay away from the treehouse and Harry too. She doubted that he knew the reason she was avoiding him, but it seemed like he didn't care anyway. He didn't even come over to help her with her math homework like he had promised. However, she couldn't blame him. He had a girlfriend and his own life now, and if he didn't want to include her in it, then she didn't want to be a part of it.

"I saw Harry's girlfriend holding hand with someone else today," Celine told her while they were having a sleepover. It'd been two months since Y/N witnessed the treehouse kiss, and as much as she'd like to act calm and cool about this news, she couldn't stop the worrisome from showing on her face.

"Do you think she's cheating on Harry?" She asked, and sighed in relief when Celine said no.

"They broke up last week I think. My brother's friends with that girl, he told me so."

Y/N didn't say anything else and carried on with the book in her hand. Though she never asked Celine about Harry again, she did wonder if he'd felt heartbroken or even cried as much as she had over him. She used to know everything about him and vice versa; now she had to make up her own version of what was going on in his life.

What could be sadder than that?

.

.

.

A year had passed in a blink of an eye and Harry had finally finished high school. Y/N didn't attend his graduation, but Celine told her all about it because she'd come to support her brother. From what Y/N had heard, she wanted to turn eighteen and finish high school as well, so she could finally leave Holmes Chapel for good.

She used to tell Harry that she wanted to become a writer, and one day she would write a movie for him to play the main character. Little did she knew, she'd already written one. He was the main character in every single entry in her journal. After everything, after the silence, the getting over him, the acting like they'd never been friends, she missed him terribly, more than she was willing to admit.

"Y/N! Harry is here to see you!"

Y/N thought she was dreaming when she heard her mother's voice from the front door. She needed to double check by pinching herself to make sure everything was real, and quickly ran downstairs, afraid that he couldn't be patient enough to wait for her.

"Mum, where's Harry?" She asked in shock as her mother walked back inside after closing the door.

"He just left, but he told you to meet him at his treehouse."

Y/N didn't hesitate, not even for a second.

She ran for her life to the backyard, trying to catch her breath as she made it to the big tree. Now tall enough to get on the lowest branch without the help of the fence, the girl climbed up the rope ladder, to their place, where the boy she loved was waiting for her.

Harry turned his head as soon as he heard her voice at the entrance. He got up from the dusty wooden floor, smiling at the girl. Now they were standing in the same spots on the night they first met. His eyes were still as green as she remembered. They were every hue of the summer forest, accentuated by his tanned complexion and his dark brown strands. She had always written about how that beautiful shade of green would bring her home and give her hope no matter what happened. But this time, hope wasn't what she saw. Instead, it was a mixture of sadness and regret. She could only wish that her instinct was wrong.

They sat down side by side on the edge of their little house with bare feet dangling in the air. It was dark outside, and the calming sound of crickets singing was like a celebration song to welcome another summer. It had been too long since the last time they got to be together like that. She stole a secret glance at the boy she loved who was staring blankly ahead, then she smiled, loving how everything still felt the same, at least for her.

The conversation began with small talks about school, about his sister and his mum, about Celine, about her parents' fight every single night. She was waiting for him to mention his ex-girlfriend, or maybe new girlfriend, but he didn't. He didn't say a word about any other girl, and she was thankful for that.

But then, after taking what seemed like the longest pause ever, Harry finally said what he was there to say, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning. To London."

Y/N could feel her entire body turn to stone as those words left his mouth. She released a nervous laugh and asked him if he was only joking, to which he shook his head and confirmed that he was serious.

He told her he'd got accepted into a film school, and he couldn't wait to pursue his childhood dream of being a famous actor. But what about her dream, the one that she had told Celine when they first became friends, did this mean her dream would never come true?

"I'll come back and visit you next summer," he said. But she knew it was a lie. It really was a lie. He didn't come back for her, not next summer, or the one after that. "I wanted to see you one last time before I left...Bambi, say something."

There it was, that nickname again. She used to hate it so much because she didn't want to be that weak and innocent Disney character in his eyes, she wanted to be strong and mature enough for him. But now that she knew she would never get to hear him call her that again, she wanted to burst out crying immediately. Taking a deep breath and holding back the tears that were forming in her eyes, she turned to look at him.

"I'm really happy for you, H," she said with a sad smile. And she believed, as a boy, he couldn't see it.

Harry smiled back at her, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He told her to be strong when he wasn't around, and take care of herself even though he knew there was also Celine.

"This treehouse is all yours now," he told her. "Please look after it?"

"I will," she gave him her words, silently swearing to herself that she would never let anyone else enter their place, ever.

It was late, and Harry was about to say his last goodbye, but Y/N cut him off just as he opened his mouth. "Harry...Can I ask you for one last favor?"

"Anything, kid. Tell me."

"Can you...Uhm...Will you..." She exhaled deeply and took his hand in hers. "Will you be my first kiss?"

At first, Harry thought the girl was kidding. However, the look in her eyes told him otherwise, and the grin slowly faded from his handsome face. "I don't think I should be your first kiss, Y/N. You should save it for the boy you like."

"But you...are the boy I like."

That sentence got Harry all tongue-tied.

He didn't know what to say. He was eighteen and she was fourteen. She was too young. Even though she wanted him to be her first kiss, and had kindly asked him to, he didn't think he could do it without feeling guilty. So he just sat there, motionless, while staring at her with his eyes widened and mouth agape.

Y/N, on the other hand, had lost her patience. If that was gonna be their last goodbye, she would make it meaningful. Without saying another word, she cupped his face and brought her lips to his, only to pull away a second later. It was barely what one would call a kiss, but to her it was everything.

Without waiting for his reaction, she stood up and hurried her way down the ladder. She landed on her feet and ran as fast as she could back to her house, away from the tree, away from Harry, and she didn't look back, not even once.

The next morning, when she woke up, he had already gone. She did come over and knock on his door, but his mother Anne answered it and said he had left before sunrise. So Y/N walked home once again with her head hung low. She thought about last night, about her first kiss, about him, and in her head, she replayed the same two words he had said to her many years ago.

His girl.