#eddie vedder imagine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has a low social media market share in South America.

#eddie vedder imagine

linusbenjamin · 2 years

Photo

Eddie was very shy at the beginning. He was very kind of self-conscious. He's wasn't fully comfortable until him and Cornell went out one night. He really embraced Eddie when he first moved up Seattle. Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell RIP Magazine Party | October 6, 1991

#eddie vedder #pearl jam #chris cornell #grunge #90s #music #musicedit #nikolatexla #them <3 #i can't even imagine how eddie must've felt when chris died

2K notes · View notes

callme2heaven · 2 months

Text

Welcome to my Blog

Hello! My name is Isa, I am 26 and I also run @metallicaislife.

I adore the Seattle Grunge scene and the men behind it so I've decided to start writing for them.

Feel free to send in headcanons or chat! :)

Thank you for checking out my blog!

There will be smut occasionally, MDNI with those posts.

Masterlist

Chris is so pretty🥹

#seattle grunge x reader #grunge x reader #nirvana x reader #soundgarden x reader #alice in chains x reader #pearl jam x reader #dave grohl x reader #kurt cobain x reader #chris cornell x reader #stone gossard x reader #eddie vedder x reader #jeff ament x reader #jerry cantrell x reader #layne staley x reader #grunge imagines #grunge scenarios

31 notes · View notes

aishnico · 8 days

Note

Could you please write a masterlist??🧸

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐎'𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

» read the rules before requesting, also requests are temporarily closed.

↳ 𝙈𝙀𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙄𝘾𝘼;

↳ 𝘊𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘍 𝘉𝘜𝘙𝘛𝘖𝘕;

» wish you were here [angst]

» a dream soon to become real [fluff]

↳ 𝘑𝘈𝘚𝘖𝘕 𝘕𝘌𝘞𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘋;

» nothing here yet

↳ 𝘼𝙇𝙄𝘾𝙀 𝙄𝙉 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙄𝙉𝙎;

↳ 𝘓𝘈𝘠𝘕𝘌 𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘓𝘌𝘠;

» love, hate, love [angst, fluff]

↳ 𝘑𝘌𝘙𝘙𝘠 𝘊𝘈𝘕𝘛𝘙𝘌𝘓𝘓;

» through thick and thin [angst, fluff]

↳ 𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝙃𝙊𝙏 𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙇𝙄 𝙋𝙀𝙋𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙎;

↳ 𝘑𝘖𝘏𝘕 𝘍𝘙𝘜𝘚𝘊𝘐𝘈𝘕𝘛𝘌;

» hearts and thoughts they fade away, part #1 [angst]

» hearts and thoughts they fade away, part #2 [angst, fluff]

» birthday surprise [fluff, smut]

» unfinished things [fluff]

↳ 𝙂𝙐𝙉𝙎 𝙉' 𝙍𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙎;

↳ 𝘚𝘓𝘈𝘚𝘏;

» it’s never over [angst, fluff]

» lady strange [fluff]

» i know it’s over [angst]

↳ 𝙉𝙄𝙍𝙑𝘼𝙉𝘼;

↳ 𝘋𝘈𝘝𝘌 𝘎𝘙𝘖𝘏𝘓;

» you two are my home [fluff]

↳ 𝙋𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙇 𝙅𝘼𝙈;

↳ 𝘌𝘋𝘋𝘐𝘌 𝘝𝘌𝘋𝘋𝘌𝘙;

» green seashell, part #1 [fluff, angst]

» green seashell, part #2 [angst, fluff]

↳ 𝙎𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙂𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙀𝙉;

↳ 𝘊𝘏𝘙𝘐𝘚 𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘕𝘌𝘓𝘓;

» nothing here yet

↳ 𝙈𝙀𝙂𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙏𝙃;

↳ 𝘔𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘠 𝘍𝘙𝘐𝘌𝘋𝘔𝘈𝘕;

» nothing here yet

↳ 𝘕𝘐𝘊𝘒 𝘔𝘌𝘕𝘡𝘈;

» nothing here yet

↳ 𝘒𝘐𝘒𝘖 𝘓𝘖𝘜𝘙𝘌𝘐𝘙𝘖;

» nothing here yet

— 𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 —

↳ 𝙁𝘼𝙎𝙏 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙁𝙐𝙍𝙄𝙊𝙐𝙎

↳ 𝘏𝘈𝘕 𝘓𝘜𝘌

» one shot #1

» one shot #2 [cheating, smut]

14 notes · View notes

iamonlyhereforthefreefood · 4 months

Text

A celebrity is apparently going to be at our hotel tomorrow. I'm not going to say who because I don't want to dox myself. It's not anyone I particularly care about but it's still like wow crazy.

#I'm kinda glad it's not anyone I care that much about because that way if I don't end up seeing them I won't be too disappointed #could you imagine if Eddie Vedder was there and then I didn't even get to see him #i would cry

5 notes · View notes

crookedteethed · 2 months

Text

✩ crookedteethed's: masterlist ✩

⋆ Navigation ⋆

↳ crookedteethed's p.links masterlist

⋆requests are open⋆

↳ who do I write for? ⋆ Eddie Munson (ST) ⋆ Steve Harrington (ST) ⋆ Young Coriolanus Snow (the ballad of songbirds and snakes) ⋆ Rafe Cameron (The obx) ⋆ JJ Maybank (The obx) ⋆ 90s grunge musicians (Kurt Cobain, Eddie Vedder, etc) ⋆

⋆ fictions ⋆ in alphabetical order ⋆

⋆ (Young) Coriolanus Snow ⋆

↳ DEPRIVED barbarism | University!Coriolanus Snow x Mysterious!reader | Part two (18+) | Two-part series

⋆ Eddie Munson ⋆

↳ RADIO appearance | Rockstar!EddieMunson x Radiohost Fem Reader x BandManager!SteveHarrington | Series

↳ MORESAL of praise | Up-and-coming Musician!Eddie Munson x Girlfriend Musician! reader | (18+) | One-shot

↳ "You think that's funny, don't you? Blowing me in front of my uncle?" | Eddie Munson x Fem!reader | (18+) | Ficlet

↳ WITHIN the last minutes | Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson | Ficlet

↳ BIG SHOT polaroid | Eddie Munson x Fem!reader | (18+) | Ficlet

↳ "I figured we could use this for practice, to prep you for the real thing." | Eddie Munson x Gn!reader | (18+) | Headcanon

⋆ Miscellaneous ⋆

↳ STORM’S be heavy soon | Billy the kid x Rich girl! reader | Part two (18+) | Two-part series

⋆ Rafe Cameron ⋆

↳ How the Rafe's would react to reader telling him she’s pregnant. | Rafe Cameron x Fem reader | (18+) | Headcanon

↳ NSFW abcs | Rafe Cameron x reader | (18+) | Headcanon

↳ QUICKIE at mindsummers | Jealous!Rafe Cameron x Fem!reader | (18+) | Request

↳ SPIRALING down | Rafe Cameron x Fem!reader | (18+) | Blurb

↳ You and Rafe have an only fans account | Rafe Cameron x Fem!reader | (18+) | Imagine

↳ The Rafe's receiving a blow job from reader | Rafe Cameron x Fem reader | (18+) | Headcanon

⋆ Steve Harrington ⋆

↳ RADIO appearance | Rockstar!EddieMunson x Radiohost Fem Reader x BandManager!SteveHarrington | Series

↳ WITHIN the last minutes | Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson | Ficlet

37 notes · View notes

the-90s-music-colosseum · 5 months

Text

Quarterfinals, Match 4

expand to see all propaganda received! (enormous wall of text warning)

Tracy Chapman:

"I can’t think of anything clever to say because I’m too busy sighing dreamily"

"GUYS ITS FUCKING TRACY CHAPMAN VOTE FOR HER OR ELSE ILL EAT PLAYDOUGH"

"Tracy Chapman made the best song of all time (fast car)"

"ik im the hope sandoval guy but if hope doesn't make it tracy has to she made me realize i was a lesbian i just thought i was bi then i listened to her and now im a lesbian she is powerful she is strength if you looked at her and looked at my art you would see 20 years of inspiration from one single woman"

"she's too good to commit atrocities to me but im the gore guy and you aren't for that. i would let her take out my vocal chords and use them as floss. i would have her saw down my bones to make a vinyl of her music. i would go on all fours and let her slaughter me like a pig. i want to be her cat"

"The most powerful written and performed voice of the 90s. Everyone, of any nationality or belief system, could feel the words Tracy Chapman sang. She gets her dues but deserves even more."

Eddie Vedder:

"He's just a lil' guy. I want to pick him up and put him in my pocket and take him with me everywhere."

"Men peaked in 1992 when Eddie Vedder was on MTV Unplugged and just looked as pretty as can be. No one will ever top that."

"facial structure sculpted by the gods"

"that scene in singles where he’s just staring straight into the camera when they’re watching that bee documentary or whatever GOD"

"He's fun-sized and therefore easy to yeet into his natural environment of The Rafters. His height-to-hair-length ratio makes him the Cousin Itt of the final four: the party doesn't really kick off until he shows up. No amount of unhinged propaganda can be more unhinged than the little gremlin himself but by God it's worth a try."

"I want Eddie Vedder to spit in my mouth"

"I have no idea what the fuck he's saying literally ever and that's kinda hot I think"

"holy FUCK i want to i want to claw his eyes out and put them in a blender until they’re the consistency of mochi that’s been left out for like 10-15 minutes"

"icon of wet kittens you take home in a box everywhere. imagine scooping him up and carrying him away."

"listen to daughter by pearl jam like uh wow"

"Just a beautiful little guy. I love how expressive, emotive, intense, and passionate he is. The way he can make me weep or give me the chills with just his voice and a guitar. And how he (and the rest of Pearl Jam) has always been so outspoken and hands-on about numerous social and environmental issues and just generally being a force for positivity and progress. This man stage-climbed right into my heart <3"

"He has a really cute butt, like the peach emoji"

#most attractive 90s musician #poll #polls #tracy chapman #eddie vedder #pearl jam #temple of the dog #90s music #tournament

78 notes · View notes

riveroflayne · 8 months

Note

https://pin.it/7twW4gt

imagine eddie vedder w the BEARD and the shoulder length hair eating you out….having his eyes closed while you rub ur fingers thru his locks while he’s moaning into ur pussy. oh my god

P. OH MY GOD.

i can just imagine him all sweaty and hot with his arms wrapped around your thighs and his face buried in your pussy.. he's almost moaning as much as you are, with his tongue circling your clit he's grinding his hips into the matress. he loves making you feel good, it makes him feel good. flicking his tongue on your clit and making you buck your hips up into his mouth because it feels so good... putting your hands in his hair and tugging softly making him whimper into your pussy oh goddd... and when you cum you're grinding your hips onto his face and gripping his hair tighter, and he's moaning with you, dipping his tongue into your hole and tasting your cum while his nose is nudging your pulsing clit <3333

#eddie vedder smut #eddie vedder #pearl jam #pearl jam smut #grunge #alice in chains #soundgarden #nirvana #violet thinking 💭

64 notes · View notes

altrockgenre · 7 months

Text

My favorite Alt-Rock artists (Part 1)

In my next few blogs I will be going over some of my favorite artists within the huge umbrella of Alt-Rock, there will be no particular order to which ones I like more, but I will be grouping up certain artists that give off the same vibe or feel while I listen to them. This first blog will be about the artists that are all about entering the deep psyche of the human mind and that talk about being wronged in some way, coincidentally or just by the nature of the sub genre these bands all fall under the sub genre of grunge.

First of all is the poster child of the grunge genre that I have talked about quite highly in my previous blogs, that being Nirvana. The style of their music is such a breath of fresh air compared to the other music at the time, as the mainstream music was going from skillful masterpiece to a competition of who could play the hardest music. But as a small indie band that wasn’t scared to break the mold they focused on the rhythm of their music over the complexity. This in turn makes every song feel special and really brings you along for the ride. But if you are just there for the ride you will miss the most important part of this band, that being taking the time to understand the lyrics. Kurt Cobain, the lead singer, often made vague but powerful lyrics that went up for interpretation which allowed listeners to inject themselves into the music and relate to it more. For example in the song Come As You Are, many of the lyrics have multiple meanings like the line “Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach, As I want you to be”, this line has been interpreted many ways but the way I see it is in the sense that they are talking about drugs. The part “doused in mud, soaked in bleach” is about how drugs are often laced with other chemical garbage and the other part “As I want you to be” describes how users of the drug don’t even care if it hurts their body more when it’s laced. I don’t personally relate to this but I believe it paints a sad picture of our society and how this world treats people and how their livelihood has been taken away from them. These types of lyrics really allow a deep connection between me and the songs which give more sentimental value to them. I would easily rate this band a 9/10, the one point that I took off is purely a personal reason as I don’t find many of their songs relatable to me but it doesn’t stop me from loving their style.

youtube

Pearl Jam is the next one on my list, this band is all about telling slightly altered stories in the form of songs, as such the vocals are everything. I find the instruments take a back seat when I listen to them, they are just there to support Eddie Vedder, their lead singer. The singing power of Eddie has so much depth and emotion it’s hard not to get attached to the songs. To explore this concept let’s dive into one of my favorite songs by them “Alive”. This is their very first song, the lyrics were written entirely by Eddie before he was even in the band, they were inspired completely by his own life and how he grew up being lied to that his stepdad was his actual dad, and when he found out the truth his dad was already dead. The actual lyrics are of course changed and now talk about a pretty taboo topic to talk about, that being incest but it holds so much emotions that they couldn’t dare not realise it’s true potential. Lines like “Home alone at age 13, Your real dad was dying” show how Eddie injected his story into the lyrics. But the song takes a sad turn, when the mother, to overcome the heartache, turns to her son who looks just like the father and becomes the replacement. You can imagine what happens next when the lyrics say “ Across a young man’s room, She said, “I’m ready for you,”. Taking this song from face value I do not relate this song, but the message itself is what makes me attached to it, the act of a young vulnerable child being used by the people he loved. It’s a grim picture and many probably relate to it even without obvious experiences that connect the two. I would rate this band a solid 8/10, for it’s amazing song writing and overall feel, but for me the instruments themselves lack the same power that the lyrics hold.

youtube

#alt rock #music #grunge #opinion #my favourite #Youtube

8 notes · View notes

lilcatdraws · 1 month

Note

🎶✨when you get this,put 5 songs you actually listen to,then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favourite follower🎶✨

Thank you so much for the ask! <333

Just Like a Pill by P!nk

everything i wanted by Billie Eilish

Society by Eddie Vedder

Long Gone Day by Mad Season

Monster by Imagine Dragons

#thanks for the ask!#asks #lilcat’s rambles

2 notes · View notes

milfweirdal · 9 months

Text

been entertaining myself recently by imagining the tracklistings of weird al compilation albums in the same vein as the food album or the TV album. So far I've got

The rap album (white and nerdy, amish paradise, pentiums, couch potato, trash day, twister, isle thing, the plumbing song, taco grande, i can't watch this) (i know those last two are already on food/tv but work with me here)

The love songs album (good enough for now, if that isn't love, airline amy, wanna b ur lovr, jackson park express, you make me, whatever you like)

then of course you'd also have to do the breakup album (one more minute, since you've been gone, alimony, you don't love me anymore, melanie, im so sick of you, i was only kidding, close but no cigar, confessions part 3, my baby's in love with eddie vedder)

the polka album (just all the polka medleys in chronological order including north korean polka + hamilton polka as bonus tracks)

#im almost certainly going to make them into playlists and pretend they actually exist.#ooooh what if i designed fake artworl for them. that would be fun too

12 notes · View notes

callme2heaven · 2 months

Text

callme2heaven masterlist

I will write for:

Pearl Jam - Stone Gossard, Jeff Ament and Eddie Vedder (possibly more in the future)

Alice In Chains - Jerry Cantrell and Layne Staley (possibly more in the future)

Nirvana - Dave Grohl and Kurt Cobain (possibly Krist in the future)

Soundgarden - Chris Cornell (possibly more in the future)

I will only write angst or fluff for Kurt, Layne and Chris

✨ = fluff

🌹= smut

😿 = sad/angst

PEARL JAM

Stone Gossard

Unannounced 😿/✨

Eddie Vedder

nothing yet

Jeff Ament

nothing yet

ALICE IN CHAINS

Jerry Cantrell

nothing yet

Layne Staley

nothing yet

NIRVANA

Dave Grohl

nothing yet

Kurt Cobain

nothing yet

SOUNDGARDEN

Chris Cornell

nothing yet

#seattle grunge x reader #grunge x reader #grunge scenarios #grunge imagines #stone gossard x reader #eddie vedder x reader #jeff ament x reader #jerry cantrell x reader #layne staley x reader #dave grohl x reader #kurt cobain x reader #chris cornell x reader #pearl jam x reader #alice in chains x reader #nirvana x reader #soundgarden x reader

15 notes · View notes

waterfall7290 · 3 months

Text

Was Jeremy Delle bullied?

Pearl Jam's song Jeremy infamously talks about a kid who got bullied so hard to the point he snapped and decided to kill himself in front of his classmates. This song was inspired by a newspaper article about Jeremy Wade Delle and by another kid Eddie Vedder went to school with. Because of it, people still believe bullying is the reason why Jeremy decided to end it. I've already explained, in various posts of mine in the past, why I think bullying was the last of Jeremy's problems and why this, to me, isn't the direct cause of what happened.

However, what I want to analyze today is: was Jeremy Delle actually bullied? And if so, why? Obviously the only way to know for certain would be to go back in time and ask Jeremy; however, even then the truth would still be difficult to understand. Why? I'll explain this in the second half of this post. In the meanwhile, I'll list everything we know about Jeremy being bullied.

[WFAA's video 'Jeremy: The tragedy behind the Pearl Jam song']

1. Conflicting statements on the matter

Let's start off with an emotional punch in the gut. This statement can be found at page 23 of the police report PDF. I'll admit when I first read this I cried and I still feel broken-hearted and angry any time I read it. When she said, "I was angry at them for writing that song, I thought: 'You don't know, you weren't there, that story is not accurate!'", it is unclear whether Brittany King was referring to Jeremy's home life, the bullying, or both. However, if she was indeed referring to the bullying, then there are a few things I'd like to ponder upon.

I've been bullied. I've seen people getting bullied. When you're in a classroom and your classmates are throwing stuff at you (which they do out of fun, cruelty and a need to feel superior to others and in control of something), they won't do it silently, because otherwise it wouldn't be fun. They will snicker, laugh at you, and eventually the victim will react, either by throwing stuff back or by saying something like: "Stop it! Cut it out!", because I can't imagine anyone staying silent for the entire time and not reacting in any way, given if you don't react, in most cases bullies insist until you do. The teacher would then turn around hearing the noise, maybe they had no idea what happened but they would hear it from the victim one way or another, "They keep throwing stuff at me!" or "You guys are throwing stuff at me, cut it out!". Now, if someone went up to the police and told them there was this bullying situation going on in Jeremy's English class, I can only suppose Barnett didn't take it seriously enough or do anything concrete to stop it. Not that I mean that she consciously ignored Jeremy possibly getting bullied, but I mean, events like these often get brushed off (even today!) as "kids being kids".

See, if Jeremy was really bullied, I don't think ALL of his classmates took part in it, that's never what happens in a class. In an event of bullying, there are two factions: the ones who actively bully and the ones who don't do anything to stop the bully, thus encouraging them. This can happen by either laughing, ignoring the situation or by consoling the victim but not doing anything to stop the bully. When you're in a classroom and one of your classmates gets bullied, you'll know. You always know. Maybe it's me, but I get the feeling that if one of my classmates (not friends, just a classmate, because to my understanding Brittany King and Jeremy Delle weren't friends) would constantly get bullied and then one day they came to class and killed themselves and someone later wrote a song about them... I don't know, I feel like getting angry at the 'not accuracy' of the song would be the last of my concerns? Like, if I was someone who was defending said person from the bullying at the time, why would I get angry at someone basically calling out the ones who did bully that person? I think I would, however, feel some sort of anger if I felt personally called out by that song. I don't know.

Careful: I don't mean to claim that Brittany King was one of Jeremy's bullies at the time, rather that maybe, maybe she didn't know you can be a part of the problem by simply not intervening? Maybe she didn't think laughing at someone could be considered bullying, at the time? Just like I mentioned earlier. I am aware that we're talking about a poor woman who was left deeply traumatized by what happened and you can see her get teary-eyed and stuttering during the interview, thirty years after the fact. I cannot even begin to imagine what she's been through. Then maybe, the truth is that her anger is not even about the accuracy of the song per se - maybe it's about the trauma that's at the origin of that song... it's what the song represents, a ghost from the past that will forever haunt her. I don't know, I am open to interpretations.

Let's go back to Amanda B's mother's statement, now: is it reliable? Amanda B doesn't appear in the list of people who were in the English class the day Jeremy took his life, and it doesn't seem she was a friend of his (otherwise she would have mentioned it or we would have seen her testify somewhere else). Maybe she was indeed a student from that class but was simply absent that day... otherwise, how could she know what happened to Jeremy during Barnett's lessons? At this point I'm wondering whether the mother who gave that statement was just someone looking for a way to get their name into the police report. You know, one of the first mythomaniacs surrounding this story. I can't even begin to tell you how many people have lied about knowing stuff about Jeremy in these past thirty years. Not that I was there, of course, but... I've read about several instances and have met some liars myself.

Here's the third key statement from a guy named Reagan, who was a senior at RHS when the fact happened (ssheps): "Back then, and today, I saw Jeremy as a cruel and selfish prick for what he did. Mrs. Barnett was one of the nicest teachers in that school and there wasn't a single kid in that class that ever wronged Jeremy [...]." Well then, my question is... how do you know? You weren't part of that class. And even if you did know all its kids personally... do you know how every single of them would act towards people they were not friends with? Do you know how they would act when grouped with other kids? Because it is well-known that humans tend to act differently when put under the pressure of a group. For example: trust me when I tell you my high school bully is still a terrible person, but ask the same question to her family and friends and see what they're gonna tell you!

In any case, mythomaniac or not, something in the following statements (ssheps) make you understand there was some form of truth behind Amanda B's (and her mother's) claims.

Shea B. "Jeremy was a harmless yet lost teenage kid that could have done anything he desired if it wasn't for his home life and pressure of being cool in a new high school."

Dorie, June 8th, 2016 "I attended his funeral and was floored at the amount of people and teens that came. Some of them the same ones who wouldn't give him the time of day. Who mocked him for being someone who did weird stuff in class just for attention."

Robert B. "Jeremy would be thrilled to see all the attention he has gotten since he died. [...] All he ever wanted was attention, as he didnt get much at home."

Shelly "His mom basically abandoned him and his dad was no Saint either. In fact he was too wrapped up into his new wife to notice what was going on with Jeremy."

As you can see, there seem to be more claims hinting at Jeremy being somewhat bullied than not. But let's dive deeper and try to understand the causes for it (other than kids being pricks, obviously).

2. Was it because of the hospital stigma?

In PART 2 of my trilogy, No more "Later Days", I depict instances of Jeremy being bullied at Richardson High School after getting out of Timberlawn. I suggested the reason to why kids bullied him as them treating him as a 'nutjob' because they knew he had been in a psychiatric hospital. You see, back in 1990 mental health was a huge stigma, especially in Texas and especially in boys and men, though the problem still persists today. I always use Texas' 2003 legalization of homosexuality (not same-sex marriage, I mean the legalization of consensual same-sex sexual activity) as an example to make people understand how mental health and being progressive aren't exactly something that Texas cares too much about. Just so you understand: the first state to legalize homosexuality was Illinois in 1961 and the last one was Texas in 2003... but only because the Supreme Court intervened by forcing its legalization! This means that LGBT folks in Texas stopped having trouble with the law if they decided to have intercourse with someone of the same sex only a little more than twenty years ago! This is INSANE!

Now that you have the mental health situation in Texas in mind, you probably wouldn't imagine Jeremy proudly going around a new school, where people seemed to be wealthier than the one he had previously been to (ssheps) and where he was really trying to fit in and be seen as cool; telling random kids he had been in a psychiatric hospital, knowing he could be seen as dangerous and insane... right? Well, this was my idea, until I read in page 10 of the police report that a new friend of Jeremy's at RHS did indeed know about the hospital: "Ryan indicated that this Michelle was in a treatment center, possibily in Mesquite, or Dallas and then he decided it was Timberlawn, because that's where Jeremy had been admitted to a hospital." Even though some of his former friends claimed Jeremy was desperately looking for attention, I still don't picture him going around proudly telling everyone he had been to a psychiatric hospital - I believe he only told some selected people about it. Those who weren't selected (and granted those who were could keep the hospital matter a secret, of course) could have known only if they had been in Timberlawn and then transferred to RHS as well, or maybe if they had been friends with Jeremy all that time and then, again, transferred to RHS as well. In short: I don't think most kids knew about the hospital. On the other hand, those who surely knew were the school officials and Jeremy's teachers, given it must have been written in his personal documents. In fact, that appears to be the reason behind the school's decision to punish Jeremy harder and put him in ISS for much longer than any other kid - because he was carrying the prejudice of being 'not normal', and therefore dangerous (ssheps).

3. What his best friend Chris had to say

What we know so far is that apparently Jeremy was bullied because he would act out in class. Thankfully, Chris from Austin, Jeremy's best friend whom he met in Timberlawn in 1990, gave some important insight to how Jeremy was as a person and to the whole bullying dilemma.

[DISCLAIMER: credit for this info goes to @Ash (jeremywadedelle.com) and @Chris from Austin. Chris came forward one day to help with the project of telling more about what kind of person Jeremy was and spoke to Ash. Given I am a moderator on Ash's site and his friend, he asked me for my opinion on some of these info. Chris then disappeared one day before Ash could ask him for an explicit permission to post the info, yet he had come forward, which implicitly meant Ash could indeed share it. Yet Ash didn't so I decided to do it, with permission from Ash himself. If Chris sees this post one day and would like me to take it down, please feel free to contact me at waterfall7290 + @ + google mail domain. I am making the choice to continue with the project myself because all the people who did it before me either died or stopped with it and I feel like there's still a lot to say so I'm choosing to be the next generation of people who takes time to keep Jeremy Wade Delle's memory alive.]

"I have my own opinions as to what was behind his suicide, and why he did choose the method and scenario that he ultimately went. In my opinion, it was due to prolonged, what we would consider bullying current day, but not in a physical sense. He got made fun of a lot for fabricated stories that were grandiose in nature. [...] He was always desperate for positive attention, and would generate stories that weren’t true. I remember at his funeral [...] I was so angry because there were multiple hundreds of high school kids, the “popular girls” especially, who were in tears and acting fully distraught. [...] I remember being irate at the amount of faux sadness and heartache. Because if these people had of cared about him at all, they wouldn’t have alienated him to that degree and driven him into that level of despair and rejection. [...] He was drawn to things that caught the attention of others. Maybe there was something mentioned to a kid at his High School when being bullied, that he'd bring his CHS [Confederate HammerSkins] pals over to have his back and dole out some beatings? I have no idea, I am internally laughing if so...I am however quite certain that there were no CHS pals. That one kind of stung me and made me think about how many fabricated "this one time" stories there must be about him, that are just flat out made up?"

4. A "pathological liar"

Sounds familiar? This isn't the first time we hear about Jeremy making stuff up. In fact, from the 1991 police report (page 25): "Mr. Delle described Jeremy as a pathological liar". Here's concrete examples of what he meant:

5. My final, personal considerations: was Jeremy bullied and if yes, why?

In 1991 Amanda B suggested Jeremy was bullied. In 2016 Dorie, a former friend of his, claimed kids would tease Jeremy for acting weird in class. In 2022 Jeremy's best friend at the time, Chris from Austin, came forward and described Jeremy in depth, together with providing important documents written by Jeremy himself (thus proving he had really met him). Everyone experiences some form of bullying at one point in their younger years, but it is true that lonely kids, weird kids and the unpopular kids get picked on more. Jeremy was part of these categories, but it is incorrect to say he didn't have friends: he had friends from different social settings, but he ultimately became the lonely, weird kid at his last school, Richardson High School. The poor kid was mentally breaking down and was also carrying the stigma of being the troubled kid who had been locked in a psychiatric hospital for six months of his life (ssheps, police report). He also came from a more impoverished area than the one he ended up to and had to try twice as hard to impress people (ssheps, Shea B.). He was also part of the punk kids, and even though now being alternative is considered 'trendy', it wasn't back then: punk and alternative kids stuck with each other because they were renowed as the unpopular, troubled, weird and unwanted kids - the 'leftovers', as some said. You would naturally expect some form of bullying, given all these things. Maybe he was also picked on by some because they knew he came from an hospital, who knows? But as I said before, even though Jeremy was all about drawing the attention of people, I doubt that was something he would casually tell anyone (except for his friends) back in 1990 Texas.

What is apparent from all the proof and statements collected above, though, is that Jeremy was indeed picked on, and it was because of his habit of acting weird or saying weird, over-the-top and sometimes blatantly false things in order to draw the attention of others. Spotting someone who says a lot of lies (a "pathological liar", as Mr. Delle described him) isn't easy at first, but given Jeremy had a tendency in saying lies that were "grandiose in nature", it is very possible some kids outside of his friend clique caught his lies and started to call him out on this, to pick on him. I will add more to the topic when I'll write my psychological analysis of Jeremy in another post.

Finally, the question: did Jeremy Delle kill himself because of bullying? That's what Pearl Jam stated in their song (even though they said some 'Jeremy' did it, not Jeremy Delle). As I said several times before, I think bullying was one of his problems, not THE one. I think what made him snap in the end was the isolation and alienation he had been put through, much like what Chris said. I personally think and understand that bullying was just one of the final straws in a long line of unresolved issues.

ABOUT THIS BLOG

#jeremy delle #jeremy wade delle #bullied #jeremy pearl jam #1991 #jeremy delle classmates #didyouknow

2 notes · View notes

combat-librarian · 11 months

Text

10 Songs

thanks for the tag @undisclosed-serendipity!

Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, and then tag 10 people. No skipping!

Congregation - Low

What You Don't Do - Lianne La Havas

Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon

Who R U? - Anderson .Paak

Belong - Cary Brothers

Thunder - Imagine Dragons

Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder

Keeping Your Head Up - Birdie

Roar - Katie Perry

Virginia (Wind in the Night) - The Head and the Heart

tagging @sagiow, @divinecomedienne, @desdemonaspace, @tough-n-dumb and @fernmusing. I don't have 10 mutuals who haven't already been tagged!

8 notes · View notes

golden-gypsy · 4 months

Text

Blue

Pearl Jam fanfic

Wrote this one-shot about a week or 2 ago when I was sick and just thought I'd share here too in case anyone wants to read. It's also on ao3 and Wattpad. Hope some people enjoy!♡

And of course, this is entirely a work of fiction. All real characters are just used for fictional purposes and nothing more. No disrespect or anything of that nature is meant towards anyone.

Summary: A young woman travels across a desolate landscape with her two companions, searching for something better. But, nothing is quite as it seems.

Warning: I don't think there's any warnings unless you count pg13-ish sexual content... or tobacco use.

Eddie Vedder x ofc

☆☆☆☆☆

The sweat trickled down the nape of her neck as she tiredly lifted one foot, then the other, repeating the process over and over again. They felt heavy, weighed down with fatigue and the unforgiving heat radiating off the sun scorching them from up above. The cloth she had fashioned into a headband was soaked through with sweat, rendering it useless as she wiped the damp from her brow. It burned as it dripped into her eyes, singeing the surface and blurring her vision more so than it already was. Squinting, she looked ahead, trying to sharpen the lines that had long since become muddled together. There wasn't much to see anyway, aside from a few bare trees and patches of dying grass scattered across the barren and hardened landscape.

“Are you okay, Emmy? Do you need to take a break or anything?”

She turned to the voice next to her. Other than his name being Eddie, she didn't know much about him, but she felt like she knew him somehow. From somewhere before here. From another life, perhaps. Because, she knew for a fact that she didn't belong here.

Eddie didn't belong here either.

“Yeah… I think I could sit down for a minute.”

He smiled at her, the slight indent of his dimples barely visible, and pointed to a weathered tree not far ahead. “Let's go there. We'll at least get a little bit of shade.”

She nodded, adjusting the bag she carried on her back and glanced back at the rusted wagon that Eddie was pulling behind him. Mike was asleep in there, face covered with a hat to protect his skin from the sun. They had stumbled across the young boy in a dilapidated house when they were seeking shelter one night. He was alone, said his parents had left to find food but never came back. She and Eddie had waited there with him for close to a week before they were able to convince him to come with them. Mike's parents weren't coming back; she doubted they were even still alive. They asked what few passers-by they crossed paths with if they had any news of his parents, but thus far it had proven to be a useless endeavor. That was another thing though.

Mike didn't belong here either.

They reached the tree, and while the shade was meager, her overheated skin still thanked her for the respite. She pulled the straps of her bag off her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground while she rolled her aching neck in circles. The headband was saturated with sweat, so she untied it, letting her hair fall to her shoulders as she shook it loose. Her curls were dingy and perpetually caked with dust. She couldn't remember a time when they weren't, but she liked to imagine that her dusky hair was once vibrant with color… once upon a time ago.

She had a feeling though…

That somewhere beyond the desolate backdrop, there was a utopia full of everything from her most magnificent dreams.

She knew she didn't belong here.

Eddie was crouched on the ground, unlatching his guitar case. She couldn't remember meeting Eddie; it was like he'd always been there. His guitar as well. How many times had she tried to convince him to get rid of it? It took up space; it wasn't a necessity, but it was all in vain. Eddie was one with that guitar. It was a part of him, and as she watched while his fingers ran lovingly down its neck, she wondered what that might feel like. To be loved by someone like Eddie, cherished even. She couldn't remember if she had ever been loved by anyone.

She didn't mind the guitar so much anymore.

How many times now had he lulled her to sleep with soft strumming and the earthy baritone of his voice? How many times had his blue blue blue eyes met hers while she tried to pretend she wasn't watching him play? How many times… how many times… how many times… she rested her head on his shoulder as he played something she had never heard before. Something new.

Something strangely familiar.

His hair was pulled back, but a few strands had come loose, the earthy stands tickling her forehead. Earthy like his voice. That was her favorite way to describe Eddie. Earthy. A steady, grounding presence who kept her knees from buckling due to the shaking ground beneath her feet.

She couldn't remember a time without Eddie.

The song he played was ethereal in a way. Otherworldly. Like it could guide her through a maze of darkened tunnels, and at the end would be the utopia she dreamed of. Rushing waters, a lush landscape, and she would reach up to sift her fingers through a passing cloud as she drifted down to meet them. For Eddie and Mike would be there too.

Because they didn't belong here.

None of them did.

“What's the name of that one?” she asked after the echo of the final chord faded away.

“Oceans.”

She shifted so that she was looking up at him, his jawline coated in a light stubble. “Hmm… do you think we'll ever see the ocean?”

He smiled down at her, and she wished she could breathe it in. “I have seen the ocean.”

“When?”

“A long time ago.” His face lowered to his guitar again, eyebrows pulled together. “Sometimes I wonder if it was real.”

“I don't think I'll ever see it.”

His eyes met hers again, and they were blue blue blue.

“Maybe you already have, and you just don't remember.”

She watched him, and she could envision him at the ocean. A lone figure on the beach, hair damp from the water instead of sweat and his feet buried in the sand. Maybe that's where he belonged. And she wondered… if maybe she was there with him, in that time she didn't remember. The time before all of this. There would be two figures instead of one. Maybe that's where they both belonged.

She hummed as the images filtered through her head. “What's the song about?”

His grin turned shy as he looked down at his guitar, plucking a few strings before blue became all she could see again. It filled her up and elevated her to the highest of places.

“You've got freckles.”

“What?”

“From the sun.” He wrinkled his nose. “Right here on your nose.” His thumb gently swiped down the side of hers.

“Oh.” Her fingers ran over her nose, down the side of her cheek. “I didn't realize.”

“It's cute.”

She didn't realize it at the time, but he never answered the question. He was good at that, evading, only offering bits and pieces at a time. Maybe that's because she had nothing to give in return. After all, she couldn't remember her life before Eddie.

“I'm hungry.”

Mike's voice startled her, and she jumped as she peered over her shoulder at him. He was sitting up in the wagon, long dark hair matted on one side of his head. Persuading him to sit still while she brushed it was never easy, but cutting it was not an option. Anytime the suggestion was made, he recoiled, tears welling up in his sad brown eyes. At some point, she'd have to trim it though. It was already well past his shoulders.

Eddie nudged her with his elbow, drawing her attention back to shades of blue. “By the time we finish eating, it'll be getting dark. Why don't we just stay here tonight?”

“Out in the open?”

“It's far-off from the road.”

“Do you think we'll be okay?”

“Don't worry.” He smirked, his dimples making another appearance. “I won't let anything happen to you.”

She rolled her eyes and stood up to grab the canned vegetable soup from her pack. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know.”

They were running low on food, but that was something to worry about tomorrow. Maybe they'd find another abandoned store or a community with some friendly people, but that was something to think about tomorrow. Tonight, they'd fill their bellies with the soup she cooked on the fire, and maybe Eddie would tell them stories of distant and not so distant places that would ignite her imagination into roaring flames.

The temperature always dropped once the sun set, from one extreme to another. She wanted nothing more than to keep the fire burning, but it would attract attention from those who could possibly be traveling along the far-off road or beyond. And if there was one thing she could never forget, it was that it was that the people who roamed at night often carried ill intentions.

So, the three of them sat wrapped in blankets around the dying campfire, counting down the long-forgotten minutes until sleep claimed them. Tomorrow, the worries would return, and they would set out on foot towards their next destination… whatever that may be. And it would go on and on and on, with no end in sight. Sometimes she wondered where exactly they were trying to get to.

“Will you play a song, Eddie?” Mike asked, his face peeking out from under his blanket.

“Um, yeah. What do you wanna hear?”

Emmy sat forward, wrapping her blanket tighter around herself. “Play the one you played earlier. Oceans.”

His eyes caught hers with a soft smile, and he reached for his guitar. An extension of himself, and she could see the sea of blue that encompassed him.

She didn't mind the guitar so much anymore.

He played the song, and it was just as lovely as before. Maybe more so, if such a thing were even possible. If he wasn't the ground beneath her, she'd worry that it would split open and swallow her whole. But, Eddie was the earth, and his eyes were the sky, and the ocean was his essence. She was waiting for the day when he'd spread his wings and fly.

But…

She didn't recall a time before Eddie.

And she didn't know if time would remain after Eddie.

The weight on her arm was nothing more than a sleeping Mike, lulled to sleep by the sound of earth's embrace. She understood; how many times had that happened to her now? Countless upon countless, dream after dream. A million different lifetimes that were somehow carried by the same background music.

She wondered what she'd dream of tonight.

She actually kind of liked the guitar now.

Eddie carried Mike to the wagon, lined with a blanket to add some cushion. She and Eddie would lay their blankets on the ground nearby, using their packs as makeshift pillows. They never slept at the same time though, alternating who kept watch while the other one would try to secure a few hours of sleep. The persistent fatigue was a never-ending battle.

“I'll take the first watch,” Eddie said after Mike was secure in the wagon.

“You barely slept at all last night. I'll take first watch.”

“I don't need a lot.”

“Just try then. I'll wake you up before too long.”

That was a lie. If he succeeded in falling asleep, she wouldn't wake him any sooner than need be. Maybe she wouldn't wake him at all. Eddie was constantly going without, letting her sleep that extra amount of time while his own body was further depleted of energy.

She would be fine, sitting and watching the stars, knowing that Eddie and Mike were safely sleeping beside her.

She didn't know how life would be without them.

Her back was against the weathered tree as she sat, listening to sounds of their breathing fill the night. Everything else was silent. She felt like maybe she remembered the chirping of crickets, maybe the hoot of an owl, but she couldn't recall where those thoughts came from. But, it seemed like, at one point in time, that the night wasn't engulfed in such silence.

Their breathing was a comfort though. It was a reminder that she wasn't alone. Even though she would never admit it, that was what scared her the most. Being alone in the world the way it was. She had people to take care of her though, and in turn, she would take care of them too.

“Emmy?”

Her head was tilted up toward the sky, and she turned to see Eddie lying on his side with his head propped on his arm. His hair was a wild tangle of curls around his face, and she wanted to reach out to smooth it away with her fingers, but she didn't dare do so.

“You're already awake?”

“You let me sleep too long.” His voice was raspy with sleep.

“Not long enough.”

He shook his head and patted the space next to him. “Come sit with me.”

Her eyes stayed focused on his smile as she sat beside him, legs folded underneath her.

“Not like that.” His arms reached towards her, hands pulling her down faster than her body would allow her to react.

She lost her breath temporarily, as if she forgot how. His face was so close to her own that maybe her not breathing was a conscious choice, fear that any slight movement would cause the moment to disappear. They were facing each other, side by side under a dingy blanket, his hand resting lightly on her hip. If she moved or even breathed, she worried she would lose the warm weight of his hand. She wanted it to stay.

She wanted him to stay.

“That's better,” he said, his thumb moving up and down, up and down.

“What was wrong with how I was sitting?” she dared to ask.

“You looked uncomfortable.” He lifted his shoulder in an easy shrug.

The motion caused her hand to shift, and she noticed… only then… the placement on his chest, below his shoulder, almost where his heart dwelled. She could feel the beating underneath the palm of her hand, a steady pulse to show that they were living and breathing… and existing. Her fingers curled into the thin fabric of his shirt, a reflex, almost as if she wanted to soak in the life that thrummed beneath her fingertips. Draw it closer. Bask in the light that radiated off the earth and the sky and the ocean.

“We both can't fall asleep.” Her voice was a whisper, flitting away on tiny, shaking wings.

“I'm not falling asleep. I just want to lie here with you for a while.”

“Okay.”

She thought again of the song he played earlier, Oceans, and how he said he had seen the ocean before. All she could remember of her life were days spent walking on the lifeless world she found herself in. It didn't seem real that oceans could even exist, but she believed what Eddie told her was true. She knew he would never lie to her. That was one of the few things she could count on, and it was so rare to have anything to count on.

“Why are you so tense?” he asked, and she didn't have to look to know he was smiling.

“I'm not.”

“You should relax.”

“I am,” she countered.

“You're not. Am I making you nervous?”

She allowed her gaze to lift up to blue blue blue, his worry showing itself in the lines creasing his forehead. He had a way of transitioning so easily from playful to intense. It made her head spin at times, dizziness just by being in his presence.

Her fingers smoothed over the fabric of his shirt. “You could never make me nervous, Eddie.”

That wasn't quite the truth though. Eddie made her nervous all the time, simply with his close proximity. It was such a strange swirling of contrasting feelings… because he was a comfort too. He comforted her all the time. That very same mixture swelled up inside her with the touch of his fingers on her bare skin, just underneath the hem of her shirt. It was a hesitant touch, like maybe how he would dip his toes in the ocean water to test the temperature. She could see him doing that.

She could also see him running in at full speed.

“Can I ask you a question?” she breathed as his fingers ghosted higher.

“Of course.”

“Do you think we'll ever find what we're looking for?”

She watched as his eyelashes brushed against the tops of his cheeks, and she wanted to run her fingertips just underneath them. But, she didn't dare do so.

His fingers were higher still, moving along her ribcage, and her skin tingled everywhere he touched. For who can say they were touched by the earth and the sky and the ocean all at once? The feeling was new, yet familiar. He was familiar, and he was here with her, there with her… just as he'd always been.

They didn't belong here.

Those same eyelashes rose again, and time could have stopped for all she knew. Maybe it already did. Maybe these were the last moments she'd spend on this godforsaken land. That would be alright with her. She'd see Eddie in the next life and the one after.

“I think…” he said as the tip of one of his fingers brushed against the underside of her breast. “I think that we already have.”

Was he right? They had each other. The three of them. They were something like a family.

A family…

It was getting harder to think. Her mind was hazy, and all she could see was blue blue blue. It was everywhere. In the sky above her, in the earth beneath her, in the ocean that she may or may not have seen. It was in the touch of his warm fingers on her cool skin, imprinting her with currents of blue. It was in her thoughts, as all she could focus on was how she wanted him to move his fingers higher still.

And he did…

And he did.

“I can still see the blue in your eyes, even in the dark.” His voice was a gentle wave, washing over the sea of blue.

“Me too.”

His fingers moved in such a deliciously tortuous way, and nothing else existed in that moment aside from the two of them. She could see him through the fog of her vision as if he were the only thing that made sense. The only thing that was clear. The only thing that was true in their world full of deceit. His lips only barely brushed against hers for a fraction of a second, maybe less, but it was something she'd never experienced before. The frailty of the wind seemed to pick up speed. The tree behind them seemed to shake from its roots to the tips of its branches. The ground seemed to tremble as if their world would soon fall apart.

The air changed, and it was magnetic. It was dragging her away as she fought to stay closer.

Could Eddie feel it too?

It was only less than a second, but the signs were there.

“I had a bad dream.”

Mike.

They pulled away from each other simultaneously. She could see hints of fervor in that blue blue blue.

Maybe Eddie did feel it too.

“Come on,” she told Mike, lifting the blanket.

Eddie patted his head, exhaling slowly. “I'm going to go keep watch.”

Her eyes unintentionally followed him as he took her former place at the base of the weathered tree. He leaned his head back against the trunk, gazing at the stars between the gaps in the branches, and she thought maybe Eddie could reach out and grab one if he felt so inclined. Something about him told her that it would be possible for him to.

Mike curled up next to her under the blanket, soon fast asleep. It wasn't long before she drifted off herself, thinking about Eddie and the stars in the sky.

She dreamed of the ocean that night, of what she thought it might be. Mike was sitting beside her on the sand as they built a castle. An elaborate castle, with turrets, walkways with parapets, and a moat surrounding the outside of the castle walls. It resembled what she thought a castle might look like, for she'd never seen a castle before, and it grew higher and higher, wider and wider. Mike's laughter danced across the surface of the sand, and she'd never seen him so happy. She wanted the sounds of his laughter to last forever.

A shadow was cast over their ever-growing castle. She knew not to be frightened though. It was a face she'd seen time and time again. His hair was damp from water instead of sweat, and his feet were buried in the sand. The light reflected off his eyes, and they were a bright, clear blue blue blue. They were almost crystal-like, and he stood in front of the sun so that the yellows and oranges surrounded him in a brilliant halo sent from the heavens above. He was beautiful. Painfully so. And she wanted to reach out and touch him, but she didn't dare do so.

This was where Eddie belonged.

He stood over her, tucking a water-soaked curl behind his ear. “I thought I might find you here.”

“You did?”

“Of course.” The corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. “This is where you belong.”

And that's what she wanted.

She wanted to belong.

The next day was the same as any other. They woke up and ate some dried-out bread she had made some days before, taking small sips of water. Everything had to be taken in moderation; none of them knew when they would stumble across more supplies or even a source of water. They carried four jugs for water and only had two left that were full. She always found herself becoming anxious once they reached the two-jug mark. The water went too fast, and she wished they could find a way to carry more… not just water though, more of everything.

But, more than anything, she wished the land around them wasn't dying.

Eddie didn't mention anything about the night before… but then, she didn't either. A part of her couldn't help but wonder if it even happened. But, she could still feel the sensation of his touch along her skin, and she shivered more than once even in the unforgiving heat of the daylight. So… it had to be real. It couldn't have been just a prelude to her dream from last night.

Her dream…

The utopia that she prayed for every night to magically appear just beyond the next hill.

Or maybe the next…

The last hill.

“I hope we find water today,” she said after they had walked a long while in silence.

Eddie turned to her, a hint of a smile playing along his lips. “We'll find some. Don't worry.”

Her eyes were drawn automatically to his mouth, the curve of his lips, the indent of his dimples. The brief moment in time when she felt them against her own was permanently ingrained in a corner of her mind. She'd keep it there and pull it to the forefront every so often to reminisce upon in case it were to never happen again; she didn't want to forget.

Eddie's grin grew wider, and she knew he must have noticed her staring, stealing fleeting glances as they walked and walked… and walked. His pace slowed, and he inched closer to her, holding out his hand without saying a word. She looked down at his fingers stretched out toward her, his grin softening as he took in her hesitancy. But, she didn't want to think too much about it and whatever implications it could hold. It may have meant nothing but merely a friendly gesture, and she didn't want to think of the burning that would leave inside.

She interlaced her fingers with his before her doubt could lead her away. Because she wanted to be closer to Eddie, and she smiled to herself with the knowledge that maybe she already was.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as they continued walking. “You should smile more often.”

And she realized that maybe she should.

They didn't take many breaks as they traveled, wanting to cover as much distance as they could before the sun set. The landscape hadn't changed at all throughout the last days and the nights and the yearning for something more to come along. As it did every day, her vision became blurry in the blistering heat, the outer edges turning in their slow and lazy vibrations. The sweat trickled down her back, clogged up her nose, and caused her clothes to attach to her skin. But, she still held Eddie's hand as they wandered forward, and he never tried to pull away as he walked in the center of their group. Her on one side and Mike on the other.

They were almost like her family.

Maybe they were her family, one that she created all on her own.

“Hey, what's that?” Mike asked, his tiny hand pointing up ahead.

She saw it then, a wooden house in the distance. Chances were it was abandoned, and they could only hope that it wasn't cleaned dry from previous passers-by. It was rare to find a solitary house that was still lived in. Sometimes they'd come across small communities, communal-type living where everyone played a role, and in return, protection was provided through larger numbers. She never questioned why they didn't stay in one of those communities. It would have seemed like the wise thing to do, but it never fit quite right. There was something else waiting for them out there, and it propelled their feet to keep moving.

But, to find a lone lived-in house? That was the biggest rarity of all. Simply because it was too dangerous, too easy for someone to come in and take over. Some of the things that people would do were too horrific to even think about.

As they neared the small wooden house though, the sight of something caused her to grip Eddie's hand tighter, caused him to let go of the wagon to shield Mike with his other arm.

Not something though.

Someone.

Two someones rocking on a swing on the front porch.

One of them had his long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, taking a slow draw of the cigarette sitting between two fingers. The other one looked taller, and he wore a straw hat decorated with a blue and purple striped band covering his long blonde hair.

She let go of Eddie's hand and took a few steps closer.

“Emmy, what are you doing?” he asked urgently.

She ignored Eddie and spoke to the two men instead. “I know you.”

“Yup,” the one with the cigarette replied.

What was his name?

Her feet carried her up the few rickety steps until she stood before them. She heard Eddie telling Mike to stay back before the creaking of the steps told her that Eddie was behind her. Really though, she didn't need to hear the steps to know; she could feel his presence from anywhere.

He was her earth and her sky and her ocean all at the same time.

She pointed to the cigarette that ponytail held. “Can I have one?”

Stone. His name was Stone.

“I didn't know you smoke.” Eddie's puzzled voice behind her shook her eardrums, as only the earth could.

She didn't either, but it seemed like something she'd do. In that moment.

“There's a lot about me you don’t know.”

His eyes flickered over the features of her face before he answered. “I know.”

The one named Stone handed her a cigarette and held up the lighter to ignite the tip. She leaned forward to accept the open flame, but instead of hazel hues, she was met with blue blue blue. As far as her eyes could see, it was blue.

She inhaled the burning smoke down her throat, into her lungs, staring into Eddie's searching eyes as he passed the lighter back to Stone. He had a way of looking past her, through her, into the heart of her that she didn't know existed. It was in that way that he could both calm her and send a shock through every nerve in her body.

But, she knew now where he belonged, and it wasn't here.

She hoped she could remember.

Eddie delicately removed the cigarette from her fingers, before she was even done with her exhale. As he brought it to his own lips, she was reminded of their almost kiss, how his mouth was now where hers once was. It was silly to think of something like that at that moment, but one can hardly help where the mind wanders at times. Even at this most critical juncture, when her thoughts should have been elsewhere, it was always him. Always.

“What is this place?” Eddie asked the two men on the swing, his eyes never straying from hers.

The one in the hat answered. “You don't wanna go in there.”

And his name was Jeff.

She knew that now.

Eddie's head jerked to the side. “Why not?”

“Because no one who goes in there ever comes out,” Jeff said.

There was no explanation why. It was simply that. She knew it to be true though… somehow. Maybe for the same reason that she knew their names. Stone and Jeff. They were strangers, but still she could recognize their faces.

She stepped around Eddie, coming to stand in front of the door that led inside the house that was full of unknowns. It could be her demise, but she had to go open the door.

Eddie's hand found hers again. One last time. Or not. The possibilities were endless. “What are you doing?”

“I have to go in.”

“Why?”

She couldn't give him the answer he wanted, whatever that was. Her head shook as she gazed into those eyes that were so blue blue blue, the song he sang playing in her head as she saw his hair damp from water instead of sweat and his feet buried in the sand. It was the loveliest of visions, and she ached for it to come true.

She had to go in.

“Will you sing that song for me?” she asked him.

“What?”

“Oceans.”

He squinted at her as though she were crazy. Maybe she was. “You want me to sing it now?”

“Will you?” She took his hand in both of hers. “Please?”

And he did…

And he did.

It was just as beautiful as the night before. If not more so. Because while his eyes were the sky, lifting her up so she could fly… his voice was the earth, destined to make sure her feet landed safely on the ground. And the song… the song was his essence as currents rolled above and beneath him, through him and around him.

That's where he belonged.

“I'm scared,” she said after he finished his song.

His hands clasped around the top of her shoulders, eyes intense in that particular way that only he could manage. “I won't let anything happen to you.”

She knew he'd never lie to her. That was one of the few things she could depend on in a world so full of falsity. And it convinced her that she needed to follow through as she reached behind her and turned the knob, the door swinging wide open. It was almost time, but there was still something left unshared. A final chapter to close the story, but it was just part one. There would be many chapters left to come as there was still the next life and the next… and the one after.

Her hands cupped both his cheeks as she held his face close to her own. Closer… closer… and closer still. She worried what would happen as the air began to shift around them. The signs were there, but she didn't want to live in the regret that she didn't know.

His breath fanned across her face as he drew her nearer, and she caught it as she pressed her lips to his in what was the ultimate defiance. They weren't supposed to be here, but they belonged somewhere… together.

And just as Eddie was the earth and the sky and the ocean, she was the fire, burning the fraying ends away one strand at a time. The heat from the flames swelled up inside of her until it was too much to contain. It spread forth, nearly uncontrollable as his fingers sifted through her hair and her hands clung to the front of his shirt. They were the only two left on the planet, and it seemed inconsequential that the ground finally cracked and split, lava spewing forth and lapping at their feet as a cruel reminder of what was to come.

It should have been water.

But, the signs were all there.

The heat burned holes in everything it touched, but he held her close, and she didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to… because as his two lips continued to move against her own, she could feel it. Something new and something oh so wonderfully familiar.

Why did she have to let him go?

She could see him disintegrating away, or maybe it was her. And she wanted to hold on, for she suddenly feared she may never see him again. But, Eddie was the earth, and his eyes were the sky, and his essence was the ocean, and she knew somewhere deep within that he would never spread his wings and fly… not without her. He would carry her with him wherever he chose to go.

He could go wherever he wanted to go, and yet he chose her.

The water would one day be enough to put out the fire.

And then, he was gone.

…

She sat up straight in bed and wiped the cold sweat from her brow. The room she was in was small, too much so to hold many things aside from her bed. That was alright with her though; she didn't require much anyway. The tiny round window gave a view of the artificial neon lights and the smoky pollution that lived outside. She felt like she needed to be somewhere, but she couldn't remember where.

Her head swiveled to the side when she heard a knock at the door.

“Emmy,” the voice called. “Are you ready?”

“I'm here,” she answered in a voice that she guessed must have belonged to her. “You can come in.”

The person outside her door could have been crazy, but she had a feeling…

“What are you doing still in bed?” he asked as he entered her room.

“Um…”

All she could see was blue blue blue. The neon created dancing light specks in his eyes.

“You need to get up. We're gonna get the shit beat out of us if we're late.”

She was confused, but what he said almost made sense; she felt the ache of bruises on her back. “Late for what?”

He stared at her as if she had two heads. Hell, maybe she did. “For work. Come on, we need to go.”

That's right, they had to go to work. That sounded right… but then, it wasn't.

No, it wasn't right at all.