Tumgik
#a message by coldplay
mybrknhrtt · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
lots of fjord pt II.
481 notes · View notes
snowshinobi · 10 months
Text
close your eyes and think of a measly little nothing track tucked in some unsuspecting corner of an album, pretty but in an unremarkable way so the opener/closer/singles net all the attention, and yet some tiny crumb of it stuck with you enough that you've thought of it. now tell me what it is
6 notes · View notes
ecoamerica · 1 month
Text
youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
9K notes · View notes
ghostfaceaddams · 8 months
Text
a message
Part One
summary: Dinah gets a call that could change both her and Helena's lives.
warnings: cussing, violence, blood, fighting, and death.
word count: 9,108
Tumblr media
Having a corporation such as the Justice League made it difficult to find work for other free agent heroes and vigilantes. They were always signing the big deals and catching the big fish. All Helena was left with were low lifers; pocket thieves and run of the mill bank robbers.
But Helena had to make do with what she had. She learned that the hard way growing up.
She grunted as the crook elbowed her in the face. He took his chance and elbowed her in the stomach as well and stomped on her foot. While she doubled over he took off down the alley.
‘Damn Helena, you’re out of shape. There’s no reason why a petty thief should get the drop on you.’
She allowed herself a few more seconds to compose herself knowing that she would need all the strength she could muster to chase after him.
“You’re just going to let him get away?” A smooth voice said from behind her.
Helena groaned and swiveled around.
“I have this under control Canary. Besides, this is my domain. Why don’t you just go back to that tin-can in the sky and wait for Luthor or a other worldly threat make their move.” Helena fired back.
Black Canary’s blue eyes danced with mirth as she leaned back against the street lamp. She was in her usual work attire and had her hair down in its natural waves. Her arms were crossed loosely and her body hung against the street lamp. She was enjoying seeing Huntress’ baddie escape.
“Woah. Someone’s grumpy. Did you not get enough sleep?” Canary smirked mischievously.
“Oh you know I didn’t.” Helena grinned.
Helena’s thief was forgotten about as she stared at Dinah’s luminous form. With her gold hair and the street light directly above her, she looked like an angel. But Helena knew that later, at Helena’s apartment, Dinah would be anything but angelic.
Dinah raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow and smiled warmly. “He’s getting away.”
Helena mentally scolded herself for getting caught up in the warm, fluttery feelings Dinah gave her.
“Right.” She smiled sheepishly and took off in pursuit of her bad guy.
She used her grapple to get to the top of a building for a birds eye view. After darting across three buildings she saw him leaning against a slanted wooden fence. He was clearly out of breath and thought he was in the clear. She smirked and jumped down onto the fire escape.
The man jumped and looked ready to take off down the gravel road. But Helena was quicker; she jumped from the fire escape and landed a kick to his chest. He fell back into the fence and started sliding down it. Helena did a roundhouse kick to his face that propelled him into the group of trashcans to the side. And just like that he was out.
Mission accomplished.
————————————
“What’d that guy do anyway?”
Dinah’s breath was warm against the valley of Helena’s breasts sending shivers down her spine. Helena squirmed and readjusted her hold around Dinah’s waist. It took her a moment to realize who her partner was referring to.
“He stole a car.”
Dinah snickered and raised her head. It strained Helena’s neck and eyes to glance down at the grinning woman.
“You let a car thief get away?”
Helena smiled and slid a leg between Dinah’s. The blonde didn’t break her gaze with the brunette nor did her smile waver, but she did start brushing her foot up Helena’s leg.
“I got distracted by a pretty girl.”
“Mmm. And what would your girlfriend think of this girl Miss Bertinelli?” Dinah started creeping two fingers up Helena’s chest like a stick figure.
Helena watched the movement of her partners fingers for a few seconds before responding. “I think she’d approve of her. They’re really a lot alike.”
“Oh is that right?” Dinah inched closer.
“Definitely. Both are blonde, both are incredibly sexy, both have beautiful smiles.”
Dinah smiled so wide that her dimples popped. Helena’s predatory smile turned genuine at the new display of dimples. She reached one hand out to press her thumb into the left indentation.
“Don’t let me stop you.”
“I’m starting to think you only keep me around to boost your ego.” Helena dropped her hand back to the small of Dinah’s back and cocked her head to the side.
Dinah pressed her hands flat down on Helena’s chest, her right hand feeling the beat of Helena’s slightly erratic heartbeat. The brunette started to massage the blonde’s back not so innocently.
“It’s not the only reason.” Dinah smiled teasingly but it soon faltered. Her crystal blue eyes fell down to Helena’s lips. “You make me happy.”
As long as Helena had been together with Dinah, the blonde showing any sort of vulnerability with Helena made her feel like a deer in headlights.
It wasn’t long after Darkseid tried to take over Earth that it started. Life on the streets was beginning to take a toll on Helena and Q was too devoted to his conspiracy theories. They simply grew apart. Ollie and Dinah was another story though.
Dinah started popping up all over town on Helena’s rounds. The first time she chalked it up to coincidence, but then Dinah showed up a second time, and then a third, and again and again. Soon enough they were practically partners. After that they started to hang out at Helena’s place after taking down bad guys together. It was nice to have someone to talk to other than Q and his crypticness.
One night, instead of going to Helena’s place they went to the bar. As two young adults would do after being highly intoxicated, they had sex. Helena pretty much avoided Dinah like the plague after that. The first week Dinah didn’t even make an attempt to see Helena so she figured the blonde felt the same. But then she started showing up again. Helena’s willpower could only hold so long around Dinah until she finally just caved.
They started casually sleeping around. This went on for a few months until Dinah started staying the night after their nightly activities. It finally occurred to Helena that she didn’t know the status of Dinah and Ollie’s relationship. While she didn’t want to be a part of an affair, she wasn’t sure she could handle knowing Dinah wasn’t all hers.
“We broke up.”
“You broke up? When? How come I never heard about this?”
“Because you aren’t friends with any of the leaguers and Q isn’t a gossiper.”
“Helena. Do you really think I would’ve been sleeping with you this whole time if I was with Ollie?”
After that they were an official couple. Dinah Lance and Helena Bertinelli. (Of course, Black Canary and Huntress weren’t an item. But that was a whole other issue.) That started about a year ago.
It wasn’t like their relationship was purely physical. They went out on dates and hung out at home without having sex. Every Saturday Dinah got up with Helena to watch cartoons. (It has something to do with Helena’s shattered childhood. Watching cartoons helps to bring some semblance of normality to her demented past.) Helena goes to the grocery store down the street from Dinah’s apartment to help her shop. They train and go on walks together. (“We look like old people.” “Stop complaining and just enjoy the view Helena.” “It’s a city Dine, kinda hard to enjoy the view.” “Then just hold my hand.”)
There were other things they did together. They would talk too, but it was always so nerving. Helena was getting better at it but it was still hard. A year into their relationship and five years of knowing each other and Helena still short circuited when it came to the serious stuff.
“Geez Dinah, you’re such a sap.” Helena felt like Chandler Bing with jokes as her default for uncomfortable situations.
Bless Dinah’s heart, she had gotten accustomed to Helena’s deflection. She learned to feed off of it and knew when to not push Helena and what to say when she did. The blonde put a knee on either side of Helena’s right leg to lean up and kiss Helena. The brunette’s eyes fluttered close as she melted into the kiss.
Slowly Dinah pulled away, both of their lips glistening. Helena kept her eyes closed, enjoying the blissfulness. Dinah’s eyes were hooded as she brushed her thumb against Helena’s elegant cheekbone.
“You don’t have to say it. I know that I make you happy too.” Dinah said quietly, so quietly it was almost a whisper.
Helena ever so slightly quirked her lips up in a thankful smile.
“Maybe you’re the martian with all your mind reading abilities.” Helena couldn’t help but tease.
Dinah snorted and placed a sweet kiss on Helena’s lips. The brunette sighed and allowed Dinah to take control of her.
It scared Helena-no terrified Helena, it scared the ever loving SHIT out of Helena how well Dinah knew her and how easily she could take control. Helena grew attached to people quickly and despite their easy breakup, it tore Helena up losing Q. Dinah was closer than ever and meant more to Helena than anyone else. Helena had no one. Literally no one else. Dinah was it. She knew everything about the orphan and could read her like a children’s book.
If Helena lost Dinah…she didn’t like to think like that but she did…too much.
——————————————
The bed was cold when Helena woke up later that night. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and groaned when she saw the time.
3:15 am.
She considered going back to sleep but like a damn fool she had become accustomed to sleeping with Dinah. So she sat up in bed and did a quick scan of her studio apartment for the blonde.
Dinah was standing in the kitchen leaning against the island. She had slipped on a blue t-shirt of Helena’s and was in her black underwear. She looked ready for bed but her body was tense. Helena could see the tension all over Dinah’s back.
“Di?” She sleepily called out.
Dinah quickly looked back at Helena then turned back around. Helena frowned and realized that the blonde was talking. She couldn’t see a phone so she knew it must be Justice League related. She got out of bed and padded over to her girlfriend.
“What’s wrong?” Helena asked after Dinah hung up.
It must’ve been bad because Dinah couldn’t even look at Helena. The brunette shifted her weight from foot to foot the longer they were in silence.
“Dinah what’s going on?” Helena’s voice was high pitched and light as she smiled incredulously.
It felt like a year went by as Dinah raised her head to look at Helena. The moment Helena saw Dinah’s unsteady eyes she knew that whatever happened wasn’t just bad but abhorrent.
“Mandragora escaped.”
The floor seemed to give away beneath Helena as she heard those two words. They were words she had expected to hear time and time again. Every day that beast was locked up she expected to see a news broadcast at night about him escaping. But it being a reality was different from nightmares.
It felt like the walls were caving in on Helena and blinding her vision. There wasn’t red or white with rage, it was all just black. Pure, sheer, utter black.
“Oh.” Was all Helena could think to say.
All these emotions, all these thoughts and feelings, and all Helena could think to say was oh. She numbly sat down in the island chair and stared off at nothing.
“He…he killed two guards escaping and there are said to be many injuries to others. They lost his trail but he’s easy to stick out so he won’t be hard to find. Helena?”
Helena was vaguely aware of what Dinah was saying. The only words that made sense to her were “killed two guards” and “many injuries.” The rest was all foreign. With the words she did know, she knew what she had to do. She knew what had to be done and only she could be the one to get it done. It had to be her. It had to be. No one else could-or would do it.
“Yeah?” Helena kept staring ahead.
She felt like the whole world was spinning and she was outside above it all. She was on a whole other level than the rest of humanity.
“Are you okay?”
It slowly dawned on Helena that she wasn’t alone. She glanced down at the floor beneath her feet and quickly up at Dinah, so quickly she barely even caught a glimpse. Her throat felt thick as she realized what she had to do.
“I just need to be alone.”
Dinah didn’t speak right away and Helena knew that it was Dinah debating whether or not this was a time to push Helena.
“I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t really give a shit what you think Dinah.” Helena’s tone was quick and sharp like a whip.
Dinah looked like she had just been slapped and Helena couldn’t stand to look at it. She swallowed and kept her gaze forward.
“I don’t want you doing something stupid Helena.” Dinah planted her hand on the marble island and leaned closer to the conflicted hero.
“Like what?” Helena snapped her head over to look at Dinah.
The blonde parted her lips but no sound came out. She didn’t need to talk for Helena to know what she was thinking, it was all over her face. It was the way her eyes were no longer bright like the sky but dark like the sea. It was how tight her mouth was and the darting of her eyes. Helena knew they were thinking about the same night five years ago.
“Like kill Mandragora?” Helena’s voice cut like a knife on the second word sending Dinah recoiling back. “I never should’ve let that kid sucker me into letting his dad go.”
Helena shook her head, the answer suddenly spewing out of her in fumes. She was sure that if this was one of her Saturday cartoons, steam would be coming out of her ears and her face would be red.
“You did the right thing that night Helena.”
“Yeah and look where it got those guards.” Helena sneered.
Her entire body was tense with indignation as she breathed quickly.
“Those deaths aren’t on you.” Dinah’s voice was firmer than concrete but Helena knew that nothing was indestructible. (Not even Superman.)
Helena simply scoffed.
They both stayed in their respective spots in taught silence for several minutes. After almost 15 minutes Helena stood up. Dinah quickly straightened up and looked into Helena’s dark brown eyes that were practically black pits now.
“I want you to leave.”
She could practically hear Dinah’s heart cracking.
“But Helena-“
“I don’t need you to babysit me and I don’t want your company so just leave.” Her voice was harsh but she knew it needed to be done.
Dinah stood there staring at Helena in contempt. It was obvious that emotionally Dinah wanted to stay and be there for Helena for whatever she needed, and rationally she wanted to make sure Helena didn’t try to be judge jury executioner. But Dinah also knew that if she stayed she could potentially make matters worse.
Helena knew how Dinah’s mind worked just as well as Dinah did Helena’s.
Finally Dinah sighed and her still tense shoulders sagged. “I’ll just be outside if you need me.”
“I won’t but thanks.” Helena knew that was uncalled for but she couldn’t help it.
Dinah frowned like it was physically paining her to see Helena like this. Hell, Helena was sure it did physically pain her because she definitely felt that way about having to push Dinah away.
The blonde moved passed Helena to change back into her clothes. When she was done she stopped and hesitantly kissed Helena on the cheek. It was soft and felt like the one thing that could ground Helena to any sense of rationality.
But then Dinah left and all rationality went out the door with her.
————————————————
Dinah returned the next day to check on Helena. She was surprised to see her home but not surprised to see her already in her outfit. It didn’t take a genius to know what Helena was about to do.
Helena looked up from securing her utility belt on and her eyes softened. What was about to come next made her stomach churn violently. She was starting to think she wouldn’t be able to do this.
“Dinah, we need to talk.”
Dinah was all too eager to talk with Helena and the brunette hated it. A part of her pitied Dinah for thinking that she actually had a chance at changing Helena’s mind.
“Okay. What’re you thinking?”
Helena paused. She counted to ten and then answered.
“I’m thinking that we should break up.”
Dinah didn’t answer right away and Helena could understand why.
“Where…where is this coming from?” Helena opened her mouth so she could just rip the bandaid off but Dinah trudged on. “If you’re worried about my safety don’t because I can take care of myself.”
Helena swallowed and resisted the urge to confess that yes she was scared that Mandragora would try to get revenge on her by taking away the only thing she had left.
“It’s not that.”
Dinah’s bewildered expression about made Helena scratch the whole idea and say that it was exactly that. But Helena had to remind herself that it was better this way. Safer. Easier. Dinah would just be a distraction and she couldn’t have that.
“I’m just tired of this whole dating thing.”
Instead of hurt on Dinah’s face there was anger. Helena was relieved it was anger and not pain. Anger she could handle, she could be just as mean back. Pain? No way.
“Dating thing? That’s-that’s what you call this? That’s what you call this thing between us?”
Helena sighed as if this conversation was boring the ever loving shit out of her. “I’m not a relationship person Dinah. I usually just sleep around, I don’t know what I was thinking with you and Q. But it’s over. You won’t be in harms way of Mandragora and I won’t have to deal with a girlfriend.”
She was being heartless she knew but being heartless was the only option in this situation.
“No.”
Helena frowned. That wasn’t what she was expecting. Some crying and maybe even screaming but not no.
“No?”
“No. We’re not breaking up.” Dinah shook her head in finality.
Helena scoffed. “Come on Dinah, lets be adults about this.”
“I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work.” Dinah raised her voice.
“And what’s that?” Helena’s voice was venomous.
She looked down and realized how close her and Dinah had gotten.
“You’re scared I’m going to get hurt so you’re pushing me away before you can lose me.”
Helena grunted and pulled away. “We’ve been through this already, I’m just tired of you. You being out of Mandragora’s way is just a bonus.”
That’s what did it. The moment Helena said she was tired of Dinah she saw Dinah completely crumble. All the anger in her body just fizzed out like a fire. Her shoulders sagged and her jaw fell. The worst of all was how big her eyes got. Helena could barely stand to look at how crushed Dinah was. But she knew to be able to sell this she needed to keep a straight, unwavering face.
A minute passed and Helena thought that Dinah would finally leave but she was thrown for a loop.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I’m in love you with you Helena.”
Helena’s lips parted and her eyes widened.
Love. It was such a foreign concept to Helena. It had been so long since she last knew what being loved felt like, she wasn’t sure she could know what it felt like ever again. She had never felt love for anyone other than her parents, not even Q. So she had no idea if what Dinah said was true.
Was she even capable of love? The two people that did, ended up dying. Hell, not even long after being with Q, CADMUS kidnapped and tortured him. Helena was sure that she was destined to lose everyone she ever cared about. It reminded her that it was better to break things off now with Dinah before things went further.
Except they already had. Dinah said she loved Helena. ‘Doesn’t matter.’ Helena had a plan and she was sticking to it-now more than ever. Even if Helena was capable of love-if Dinah really did love her and Helena loved her back, it didn’t matter anymore. It was too late.
“Then you’re an even bigger fool than I ever thought.”
Dinah frowned and she collapsed even further into herself. Helena turned as if she was disgusted by Dinah which some part of her actually was. How could someone like Dinah possibly feel love for someone like Helena? It was wrong.
“Lena, don’t.”
“Go. Get out of here Dinah. Now!”
Dinah’s crystal blue eyes were shining and at any moment the dam would break and the tears would start cascading down. Helena didn’t want to be there for when that happened. She knew how stubborn Dinah was and decided to take matters into her own hands.
She left instead.
————————————————
Oliver was at his range just as Dinah had predicted. She was relieved that he was at the first place she looked so she wouldn’t have to waste time looking for him. Time that could be spent finding Helena and stopping her.
“To what do I owe this visit?” Oliver asked as he sheathed an arrow he was getting ready to pull out.
Dinah hated asking him for help but he was the only person she could trust. (Well, she could trust Helena too but this “mission” was about Helena so that ruled her out obviously.)
When she sighed it felt like her entire body was deflating. “I need a favor.”
“This sounds familiar.” Ollie teased.
Dinah grimaced as she prepared for what she was going to say next. “You heard about Mandragora’s escape right?”
Oliver frowned and crossed his arms. She could see the gears already turning behind his warm brown eyes.
“I did.” He looked down and shifted his weight. Dinah could see how uncomfortable he felt with what he was about to say. “Let me guess, Helena didn’t take it so well.”
“That’s an understatement.” Dinah muttered.
Dinah wished she could’ve convinced Helena not to leave because now she’s out there looking for Mandragora. If she had kept Helena there then maybe they could’ve talked things through. But when had Helena ever been someone to sit back and talk through things.
“I understand if you don’t want to help, but I need to find Helena and stop her before she does something she’ll regret. And we can’t get the league involved.” Dinah wanted to make sure Oliver knew what he was getting himself into if he helped her.
Oliver scratched his head. “This feels like deja vu.”
Dinah chuckled as memories of that night nearly five years ago came flooding back to her. Gosh Helena had been so infuriating that night. Actually, Helena was pretty infuriating in general. But once you got past all of that she was a lot of fun to be around and a good person. She fought to keep people safe, that was a good person right? Sure she was a little annoying but she wasn’t a bitch.
Who knew that Dinah would’ve gotten to know the actual Helena Bertinelli and they would be here. When Dinah thinks about it, like really thinks about it, there was always something there between her and Helena. That whole night Dinah and Oliver hunted down Question and Helena who were hunting down Mandragora, Dinah would feel this spark inside of her. She had thought at the time it was just the spark of the mission. Turns out it was more than that.
They had come so far. Dinah was in too deep with Helena. She was in fucking love with Helena. She only wished that Helena would listen to her and know that she didn’t have to be alone. She didn’t need to do this alone.
“So you want your ex boyfriend to help you find your girlfriend so she won’t kill a killer? Am I understanding this right?”
Dinah looked down at her boots and bit her tongue. She still didn’t believe that they were broken up. Helena only broke up with her so she wouldn’t get hurt, everything else she said was bullshit. When Helena got scared she pushed people away and acted like a cold hearted bitch. Everything she said she didn’t mean. She didn’t want to break up and Dinah sure as hell didn’t.
Helena could say they were broken up and act like they were broken up so she could think clearly but they were still together.
“Girlfriend status is to be determined.” Dinah settled on saying.
Oliver furrowed his eyebrows and after a beat shook his head. “Come again?”
Dinah huffed. She really wasn’t in the mood to discuss her relationship status with her ex boyfriend. She wanted to know if she had someone who would help her find and stop Helena.
“Are you in or out?”
Oliver must’ve sensed the urgency and Dinah not wanting to talk because his face softened and his back straightened. “I’m in.”
Dinah nodded her head. “Okay. Lets go.”
Dinah prayed that they found Helena in time.
————————————
“Gah! I already told you I don’t know anything!”
Helena jerked the guy closer by his shirt so their faces were only inches apart and scowled. He looked to be only in his late 20’s, early 30’s at most. His black hair was messed up from his scuffle with Helena and his brown eyes were full of sheer terror.
“Bullshit. I know you used to be a part of Mandragora’s security team. If Mandragora’s out, he’s going to be looking for exactly that. You have ties to what he wants. So spill.” She shook him for emphasis.
He cowered back as much as he could with the boxes behind him. His face was screwed up with sweat running down his forehead.
“I-I-I got out of that life. I’m not a part of it anymore. I have a job at the sports store down the street.”
“Save your new life speech for the cops, I don’t give a shit. Tell me where Mandragora is and I’ll leave you alone.”
“You think I believe that? You’ll kill me!”
“The only person I want to kill is Mandragora.” Helena narrowed her eyes at him.
The man scuffed his feet back but they only hit more hardwood boxes. “You crazy? He could squash like you a bug.”
Flashes of Mandragora ripping apart her parents came to mind. She blinked twice and masked her trauma with a scowl. She tightened her hold on the mans shirt and brought him even closer.
“Let me worry about my safety. Now, where is he?”
The man was trembling in Helena’s hands and she couldn’t tell who he was more afraid of, Mandragora or her. She needed it to be the latter.
Helena threw the man down the length of the warehouse causing him to crash into a table. Before he could get up she used her grapel to hit some boxes up top and crash down on him. He screamed out in pain as two heavy boxes crushed him. He squirmed underneath its weight and clung at the concrete, his nails chipping.
Helena kneeled down in front of him and flung her bow staff up against his throat. Immediately he started choking, his gargles filling the tense air.
“Mandragora can squash you like a bug and make it quick. I on the other hand can make your death very slow and very painful.” Helena slightly applied pressure to prove her point.
His hands flailed around aimlessly as he struggled to breathe. Helena kept her staff pressed against his throat for a few more seconds before allowing him a chance to speak. He immediately collapsed forward against the broken boxes and coughed. Due to his position he couldn’t massage his throat which made it take longer for him to compose himself.
“Like I said, I’m out of the life so all I hear is talk.”
“So talk.” Helena narrowed her eyes.
He swallowed hard and went back to his panting. “He’s supposed to be at some harbor, a boating dock. He’s leaving the states to be reunited with his son.”
“Which boating dock?”
He violently whipped his head back and forth. “I don’t know.”
“That’s not good enough.” Helena whipped out her hand bow and aimed it at his left hand.
He went into another frenzy as he tried to escape. “I-I-I-I don’t know I swear! I swear!”
Helena narrowed her eyes and analyzed him. His eyes had flicked to the right when he said it and his voice had escalated an octave. He was holding out on her.
Without a second thought Helena pulled the trigger. His blood curdling cries filled the empty night air.
“I’m losing my patience. Where is Mandragora?” Helena raised her hand bow again.
“Okay okay okay!” Helena slowly lowered her hand bow. The man panted a few times then licked his already soaked lips. “He’s at the Gotham boating docks.”
“How many men does he have?” Helena pressed.
“When I was involved he usually only had two. But with his escape that probably went up. My best guess is four.”
Helena sheathed her hand bow and bow staff then stood up so she was towering over him. “You’ve been most helpful.”
The first thing she did was knock him out with a single punch. Next, she pushed all of the broken boxes off of him and let him slide down to the floor. Then she took off towards Gotham Harbor.
——————————————
“The last time we faced Mandragora he was working on being reunited with his son. We should find out where Edgar is and all possible routes to him. That should tell us where Mandragora is.” Dinah typed away on her computer.
“Right. That shouldn’t take too long at all.” Oliver quipped.
Dinah stopped typing and moved around her computer so she could look at the emerald archer.
“Do you have a better way at finding Mandragora? Because if so I’m all ears.”
Oliver’s silence was response enough. Dinah turned back to her computer and focused on the task at hand. She needed to stay focus and not worry about the time or what was happening to Helena.
Dinah’s worst fear wasn’t even Helena killing Mandragora, it was Mandragora killing Helena. Her girlfriend was smart and perceptive as well as strong, but Mandragora was a literal beast. He was ten feet tall and all fat and muscle. He had superhuman strength and superhuman durability. Not to mention he was ruthless. Helena wouldn’t stand a chance against him. Dinah herself was lucky to get away with the injuries she had last time.
Helena was also fueled by rage and guilt, both of which can blind her thinking. Her fighting skills and weapons wouldn’t be enough to stop Mandragora.
Dinah shuddered at the thought.
“Dinah? You okay?”
Dinah looked up at Oliver and his concerned gaze. He reminded Dinah of a dog when it could sense its owners’ unhappiness. She smiled sadly and nodded her head.
“Yeah.” She didn’t sound all that convincing though.
“We’ll find her in time Dinah. Don’t worry.”
“I hope so Ollie.”
Dinah prayed that Oliver was right.
————————————
Helena’s informant had been right; there were four guards. Two were posted outside the limo Mandragora was residing in and two more were patrolling. Every ten minutes they would go in opposite directions, right out of sight of the two guards by the limo. All Helena had to do was pick them off with her hand bow and then attack the two guards at the limo head on.
That would only leave Mandragora.
Helena had five more minutes before the guards made their round. In those five minutes her mind wandered. She hadn’t wanted to hurt the guy back at the warehouse. Sure roughing him up a bit came with the job but choking him? Shooting him in the hand? She could still hear his cries of pain. She could still smell the blood.
She didn’t know how Batman was so comfortable with torturing people for information.
This was the right thing to do though. Five years ago she had wanted revenge on Mandragora but now it was justice. They had tried the legal way and it didn’t work. Two more people lost their lives to that monster and soon enough more would. He would always find a way to escape prison, to bend the legal system. There was nothing else to do but to put him down. Just like a dog with rabies.
The guard on the right end of the harbor caught her eye first. ‘Show time.’
Helena hopped down off her perch and ran to the right side first. She made sure no one else was around or could see, took her aim, and fired. He went down quietly.
She took off to the other end of the harbor and took out that guard the same.
She decided that having the element of surprise would be best so she waited until the two guards at the limo noticed the other two guards’ absence. Once they were ten feet away from the limo she dropped down and attacked.
As she jumped down she landed a kick to the first guard’s chest that sent him flying back into the limo. His head whacked against the window causing it to break. The next guard charged at Helena. She quickly knocked his punch aside and landed a punch of her own to his face. He stumbled back a few steps and tentatively touched his broken nose which was already oozing blood.
The guard growled and lunged back towards Helena. She side stepped him and kicked him in the back so he fell to his knees. Before she could attack again, the first guard came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her. Her arms were pinned to her sides due to the hold. During this time the second guard got up from the ground and turned back towards Helena.
She head butted the guard behind her resulting in his hold loosening. So she pushed out and twisted his left arm forward causing him to yelp. She flipped him over and he landed on top of the second guard. They were both down for the count.
There was a slow clap behind her that stopped her cold in her tracks. Her arms and neck erupted in goosebumps at the vibrations of the clap.
“Impressive. Those were some of my best men.”
Helena turned around as if she was bored. “You need better men if that’s the best you got.”
“Best I had on short notice.” He shrugged.
Helena scowled at his arrogance that was polluting the world. There he was, standing with his hands clasped behind his back and a smile in place. He looked smug, like he knew he was going to get away with his escape, which further cemented Helena���s decision. He was dressed in a red with black stripes suit that was too small in the shoulders and a few inches too short in the pant legs.
“I assume you’ve come here to put me back behind bars.”
Helena glared and angled her body slightly away from him. “Your son isn’t here to hide behind. I’ve come to do what I should’ve done five years ago.”
“So you wish to kill me. Is that it?”
Helena didn’t respond.
His laugh was cold and unsettling. It made every nerve in Helena’s body twitch and her stomach swirl. “Good luck with that my child.”
Helena gritted her teeth at the last two words. Her jaw tightened and flexed.
She attacked five seconds later. She made the mistake of running at him which led to him catching her foot in a roundhouse kick. He flung her to the side like a rag doll and crashed into a bunch of boxes. Already her body ached but she couldn’t give up that easily. She growled and got out her bow staff.
His laugh only egged her on. She charged and this time used her staff to push up off the ground and land her round house kick. His head smacked to the side. As she landed she immediately raised her staff and clobbered him under his face. His head went back so she jumped up and kneed him in the face.
Mandragora stumbled a few feet back but was otherwise unharmed.
‘Change of plans.’ Helena ran around him while he was regaining his balance and tripped him. He fell back and hit his head hard on the concrete. It was enough to leave him dazed and mumbling incoherent things.
She jumped on the hood of the limo and ran on top of the roof. She jumped down fully intending to impale him but he caught her midair. The abrupt stop by his hand caused her entire body to tighten and then go slack. He smiled as his fingers tightened around her slender neck and her eyes bulged.
Suddenly she was reminded of the man she had choked in order to be here and couldn’t think of how to get our of Mandragora’s hold. She could use her staff to break his hold on her and do a backflip but she was too deep in thought. So Mandragora ended up tossing her ten yards down the harbor.
Each time her body flopped against the concrete she could feel a bone snap or bruise. By the end of her roll her body felt like it had been put through the blender. Her groan made her chest ache. There was a ringing in her ears and she wasn’t sure if it was from her rolling or if there was permanent damage.
She could still hear though because Mandragora’s laugh from ten yards away reached her.
“You’re a fool for thinking you could defeat me. Just as your father was before I crushed his head.”
With a grunt and every bone aching, Helena got to her knees. She swayed and bent over but she wasn’t giving up. She looked up through her eyelashes and saw Mandragora grinning mercilessly. His suit jacket was torn and every button of his shirt was popped open. She could tell his head was bleeding in the back but he was walking around seemingly fine.
Slowly she got to her feet. She reached her hand to the back of her utility built and clasped her grapple. She never once took her eyes off of Mandragora and he her. With him not noticing, and as quick as a cowboy, she flung her hand out and fired her grapple. It wrapped around the car and with every bit of strength she had left, she pulled the limo on top of him.
The engine exploded and several boxes and shipping containers toppled over, a few landing in Mandragora’s vicinity. Helena collapsed back on legs and almost fell over. The only sound was the crackling fire and her erratic heartbeat.
A minute passed by with her only seeing black smoke. But then, emerging from the black smoke was a large figure. When he got out, his entire jacket was burnt to a crisp and his shirt was black. His pink eyes burned red as he ripped his shirt off and charged Helena.
Helena quickly got up and prepared herself for the punch to come. As expected Mandragora reached out to punch her but she deflected it with much effort. She twisted his hand causing his wrist to snap. He cried out in pain.
‘His wrists and ankles are vulnerable.’ It wasn’t much but it would definitely help.
She used all of her weight and strength to flip Mandragora over onto the ground. The earth rumbled from the slam and she karate chopped his stomach twice. Standing on top of him was a mistake though as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down.
His hold was bone crushing. Every broken and bruised bone ached causing Helena to scream out in pain. It was the worst physical pain she had ever experienced and it was so intense that her mind blurred. For a few fleeting seconds she thought she was going to be crushed to death like her mom.
But then she head butted him just like she had the first guard. His grip loosened and she kicked her legs until her feet collided with his shins. He yelped and she kicked harder and harder until he released her. She sluggishly rolled to the left and crawled to her staff. Her fingers had barely touched it before Mandragora yanked her back. She could feel skin on her left side and back tear as she was pulled back.
As soon as she was in front of him she turned and whacked him in the face with her staff. She saw a tooth whiz passed his crimson lips and felt a small sense of victory. She rolled out of the way and jabbed her staff into his left shoulder. He roared in response.
His giant white hand clutched her staff and ripped it out of her hands. The force caused her to stumble forward and be smacked across the face. She felt her eyes sting and her jaw ache worse than any bar fight. She raised her right hand to her face as she groaned. Blood dribbled down her chin and splashed on the pavement.
‘I’m going to have the worst headache ever tomorrow if I make it out of this alive.’
“Why do you do this child? Do you really think you have any chance against me? Do you think your father did as he swung uselessly at me?” Mandragora grinned.
Helena remembered her father standing in front of her mother as he tried to protect her. He swung and swung and nothing happened. Finally Mandragora just grabbed him and crushed his skull. She watched her fathers brains splatter and heard her mother’s cries. Mandragora picked her up next and slowly squeezed her just so he could hear her squeal like a pig.
Helena closed her eyes and tried to forget the horrific visions. She couldn’t let him get her riled up because then she couldn’t think straight. If she couldn’t think then she was for sure dead.
“He was still a better man than you’ll ever be.” Blood dripped from her lips as she spoke.
“Your father was a crime lord, just as I am. No man is above another.” He smiled callously.
Helena gritted her sore teeth and whipped out her hand bow. She fired one at his injured wrist and then at his shoulder. He roared and she got up to get better ground. She ran several feet away and waited for him to get up. He ripped the arrows out and slowly clambered to his feet. He was frothing at the mouth as he staggered towards her.
She narrowed her eyes and fired. One arrow whizzed passed his head and two more he flicked aside. But one arrow got him right above the armpit and another got his side. He grunted and worked on taking both of them out.
Helena quickly ran forward and kicked out so she pushed the arrow further into his side. He howled and threw his head back. She barred her teeth and delivered several punches to his chest. It felt like punching a boulder and eventually she had to give up. Her hands throbbed and shook as she staggered back. She gazed in horror at her mangled hands. Her knuckles were cut from her earlier roll and they were covered in blood. Both of their blood. She realized she did do some damage to his chest.
“You’re persistent just like your father, a far better fighter than your mother and those security guards.”
“Ah!” Helena went to punch him in the chest but he caught her hand.
His smile was sinister as he tightened his hold so Helena’s bones crumbled. Helena cried out and slowly dropped to her knees. Once she was down he kicked her so she skidded back three feet.
She reached for her her hand bow but her hand was so shaky and it wasn’t even her dominant hand. She raised it and tried to fire but missed every time, even when he was standing right over her. She was able to get one last arrow off and miraculously it glided across his cheek so his face started to bleed. He grunted and stomped on the bow so it crushed. He kicked her and sent her skidding a few more feet.
All Helena could do was lay there on her side and try to breathe. Even that was a feat. Her lungs burned and her chest ached. She was sure every bone in her body was broken or at least bruised and she couldn’t move her right hand. Her left eye was blurry and some of her hair was matted down with blood.
She didn’t think she could move. She didn’t think she could live. She couldn’t do anymore.
‘I failed. I failed them all.’
All those lives lost, and what for? For Mandragora to get away with it scot-free? Children lost their fathers and some had to witness it. Families were destroyed. People were framed and tortured. So many lives were ruined all because of Mandragora and he was going to get to do it again all with his son by his side.
Helena couldn’t let him win.
She understood why the League had a no kill rule and frankly she was happy they kicked her out because she wouldn’t have been able to do this. Some people were just passed redemption. Some things needed to be put down. If Old Yeller really was John’s favorite movie then Helena hoped he understood why she was doing this.
“It’s over.” Mandragora didn’t sound happy or smug, just sure. He believed what he said.
Helena grunted and lifted her upper body. She grimaced as her muscles screamed and torn skin burned. She got to her elbows and then her knees. She was panting as she staggered to her feet. She stumbled and about fell back down but regained her footing. Mandragora watched her with such intensity the entire buildup.
“It’s not over until one of us stops breathing.”
Mandragora smiled causing his eyes to slant. Helena’s vision was blurred and sweat and blood were seeping into her eyes so she could barely see his pink eyes. But she saw the coldness all the same and knew she had it in her. She had one more trick up her sleeve.
“As you wish.”
Helena charged, as much as she could in her state, and he lumbered towards her. He easily caught her and raised her until her feet were dangling. She started gasping for air as his fingers curled tighter and tighter around her neck. She blindly searched for the dagger on her belt and prayed it didn’t come out in her many tumblings. Seconds ticked by and it became harder to move, harder to think. Black spots were invading her vision.
“Tell your father I said hi.” Mandragora smirked.
Helena struggled to breathe. Spit and phlegm flew out and coated his hand.
“F…fuck…you.” Helena gargled.
His smirk widened. Hysteria seeped into Helena’s search for the dagger.
“HELENA!”
Both Helena and Mandragora’s head jerked to the side as they saw Black Canary and Green Arrow arrive. Canary was shell shocked as she stood atop all of the rubble. Her eyes were wide and her jaw was hanging close to the ground. Her entire body was slack.
Helena’s slow heartbeat kickstarted and started ramming erratically against her bruised ribcage like a bird trying to escape its cage.
‘No. Not Dinah.’
Helena’s eyes bulged and her breathing became even more ragged as she glanced around furiously.
“More people for me to crush.” Mandragora’s grip tightened on Helena in pleasure as he gazed at the newcomers.
Helena grimaced, her eyes squeezing shut. With a gasp she grasped the dagger.
“Get away from her dirtbag!” Oliver aimed an arrow at him and released it.
It was the perfect distraction. As Mandragora moved aside to miss the arrow his grip loosened and an opening under his belly was revealed. Helena plunged the dagger out and embedded it deep within his waxy skin. Mandragora gasped and his tiny pink eyes widened.
Slowly he turned his head to face Helena. With her nostrils flaring and mouth drooling she dragged the dagger up with a shaking hand.
“It’s poisoned…you ba-astar-rd.” Helena choked.
Even if the stab wasn’t fatal the poison sure as hell would be.
Mandragora’s strength was seeping out and his grip on Helena loosened until she plummeted five feet to the ground. She was so lightheaded and her entire body throbbed so she barely felt her head connect with the ground. She coughed, blood spurting out like a water fountain. Her head lolled to the side in awe at the gimmick.
“Helena. Helena!” Dinah sounded farther away than what she really was.
Helena couldn’t move her head to find Dinah, all she could do was raise her eyebrows in acknowledgment.
Dinah gasped when she saw Helena lying on the ground. Chunks of her cape was missing and torn and bloody. The rest of her outfit was ripped and had spots of blood and sweat all over. The top right side of Helena’s mask was broken off and her left eye was black. Her bottom lip was cut and caked in blood. Her right hand was limp and mangled at the side. There were cuts all over her body and chunks of skin missing. But the worst of all was the blood pooling around her head and foaming at her mouth.
She slowly collapsed next to Helena and just stared at her. She was in the brunette’s line of sight so Helena kept trying to open her mouth to speak. Dinah was so afraid to touch her. She didn’t want to hurt her any further or make anything worse. But her body was broken, she couldn’t possibly break her. Eventually Dinah’s need to hold Helena outweighed her fear of hurting her more.
With a hiccup Dinah picked Helena up and placed her in her lap so she could cradle her. Helena opened her mouth and more blood oozed out onto her chest and Dinah’s pants. Dinah closed her eyes and realized she was crying.
“Oh. Oh Go-d Hel.” Dinah choked.
Dinah looked down at Helena’s fragmented body and just lost it. She hiccuped and collapsed forward as sobs wrecked her body. It felt like her lungs were being squeezed.
“God Helena. Oh God.” She shakily inhaled and pulled the brunette closer to her chest.
Dinah looked down into Helena’s worn brown eyes and struggled to catch her breath. Snot was bubbling on her nose and tears were dripping down to mix with Helena’s blood.
“Di-“
“Shhhh shhh, baby. Don’t talk. Don’t talk all right? Help’s-help’s on the way. Okay? You’re, you’re going to be o-kay.”
Dinah turned around to tell Oliver to call for help. He nodded his head to say he already had. She tried to smile appreciatively but it just came out a grimace. It’s hard to smile when it feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest.
“Dinah.” Helena whispered.
“Lena stop.” Dinah sniffed.
“About what you said earlier,” Helena’s voice was so hushed that Dinah could barely hear her. “I wanted to say-“
“Baby this can wait.”
Dinah didn’t even know what Helena was talking about, all she knew she was that the brunette needed to save her strength.
“It can’t.”
Dinah huffed, her breath coming out incredibly shaky. Her laugh came out all wobbly and her body flinched. “You always were stubborn.”
There was a ghost of a smile on Helena’s face. The fact that it was there but so bare made Dinah feel like she was about to collapse and never get back up.
Helena opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking like a fish that was about die. Dinah frowned and tried to keep the tears in.
“I-“
Helena closed her mouth and struggled to swallow. A choked sob made its way out of Dinah and she tried desperately to shove it back down.
“I love, you-u…t-too.”
Dinah couldn’t hold it in anymore. She just started bawling.
Helena frowned. In her delirious state it hadn’t been the reaction she was expecting (nor wanting). She could tell that Dinah was upset but it was hard to grasp just how upset and she didn’t know why. Numbly she reached out for the blonde. When her right hand wouldn’t move she moved her left one. It felt odd to be using her left hand and it hurt her body to contort for its usage.
Dinah gasped as she saw Helena reaching out for her. Subconciously she leaned forward so Helena could reach her. Helena’s freezing, bloody fingers touched Dinah’s wet cheek sending shivers racketing down Dinah’s spine. The blonde closed her eyes and tried to remember the feel of Helena’s hand, even if it was unnaturally cold.
“My…my pr-pretty-y…bird.” Helena mumbled.
The sound that came out of Dinah was a mix between a sob and laugh and didn’t sound anything natural. She shook her head as Helena’s hand slowly fell limp against Dinah’s chest.
“Please Helena. Don’t leave me.” Dinah sobbed.
Dinah’s eyes were so blurry with tears that she could barely make out Helena’s lips silently moving.
I love you.
Dinah shook her head repeatedly and pulled Helena’s limp body flush against hers.
“Please Hel, please. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave. Please. Please don’t leave.” She kept calling out these words repeatedly as the sirens grew closer.
Dinah’s hands were cloaked in blood from holding Helena, especially her left one that had cradled her head. When she saw her hands she couldn’t handle it.
Dinah threw her head back and let out her sonic cry.
4 notes · View notes
unabashedqueenfury · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Reign 2013-2017/02-22
Toby Finn Regbo as Francis Valois
7 notes · View notes
wayfaringellie · 5 months
Text
1 note · View note
twinflamesandtarot · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
This screen cap your message always hits
The Scientist by Coldplay is one of my favorite songs. It’s the divine masculine admitting his flaws and mistakes in the 3D world. The honest desire to start anew. It makes me believe in the impossible.
Even the numbers on the timer add up to 11
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/twinflamesandtarot/700568558545027072
0 notes
warmnesoul · 1 year
Text
Cuando no puedo dormir, me pongo a editar/crear vídeos bonitos y ya no me da miedo publicarlos:")
0 notes
amourdivine · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?
Tumblr media
Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous.  It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡
follow me on my socials. youtube ✨ instagram
paid readings are open, click here to know more
none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise
Tumblr media
how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.
♡ ♡ ♡     pick a card masterlist & information
Tumblr media
disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.
Tumblr media
amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.
PILE ONE 💜
what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.
I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.
how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.
Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.
channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.
channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.
Tumblr media
PILE TWO 🩷
what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world
I couldn’t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.
how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.
They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.
channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.
channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.
Tumblr media
PILE THREE 💖
what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.
“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.
how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.
Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.
channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.
channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.
Tumblr media
PILE FOUR 🩵
what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.
You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.
how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.
I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!
channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child. 
channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.
Tumblr media
amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.
515 notes · View notes
coquettetoji · 6 months
Text
{ 🪩 } EREN JEAGER MOODBOARD
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
★ general eren hcs ★
— hot type of nerdy * defo majors in computer science
— my boy by billie eilish coded
— has hot hands ( the veiny kind with long fingers but his hands defo aren’t abnormally huge 💀 ¡ALSO WEARS RINGS! )
— probably smells like weed, mint gum, and expensive cologne. i’m thinking creed aventus with a woody type of scent
— has a silver chain, not gold obvi 👎 defo does the tiktok arm leaning against door frame chain dangling pose
— solid 6’2 maybe 6’3 depending on shoes and lean muscular
— emotion damaging fuck boy (takes ‘hurt people hurt people’ on a whole nother level but he’s hot so who cares?)
— drives a blacked out camaro with tinted windows bc uh
— doesn’t vape, but will always occasionally smoke weed
— gym bro with a sleeper build * bench is probably 265-270 and rubs it in armin’s face atleast once a week
— has 1 playlist because he listens to spotifys default made daily mixes 💀 ( daily mix 4 is always his go to )
— his actual playlist consists of the most overplayed main stream indie songs but then has rnb songs with 3k listens per month mainly from eren that lowk hit?
— mama’s boy and likes cats > dogs
— doberman boy
— has his snapchat in his insta bio with the ghost emoji next to it
— can play guitar and surprisingly well, favorite song to play is sparks by coldplay
— wears prescription clear frame glasses with the blue light lenses on them at night but wears contacts during the day
— all his $$$ comes from stocks, doesn’t have a job but is so smart when it comes to shit like that **defo has one of those metal credit cards that clink against tables 😏
— has dimples on his lower back and deep smile lines with that joker type of smile lol hot
— 3.8 gpa, math and science smart but not reading/english smart
— has a black phone with a clear case, black background, and his most used app is tiktok and messages
— wears street wear, wife beaters, baggy jeans, graphic tees, expensive sneakers, and cargos
Tumblr media
— brown / green eyes, show more when they’re in the sun
— has a single diamond piercing on his right ear bc he’s slutty like that
Tumblr media
{💌} new message from mica
hopefully this wasn’t a horrible first post bc i’m new to this whole thing, i’ll figure things out after a couple youtube tutorials >:)
i will gladly go emo for eren omfg he’s such a *moan*
SETTING THIS WHOLE BLOG UP SOON I PROMISE 😛
776 notes · View notes
seeingivy · 4 months
Text
the beach
actor!eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting fic
an: 14k. buckle in. song mentioned is sparks by coldplay!
previous part linked here
--
to sukuna’s mother
eren: we’ll be there at five am. 
lana: OH ITS HAPPENING 
sukuna: did she slap you? 
lana: DID SHE KISS YOU? 
eren: she cried a bunch while watching it. and she hasn’t said much…she’s just been staring out the window of the airplane blankly
lana: oh that’s not-
sukuna: AHAHAHAHAH
lana: well, anyways. we’ll wake up for you.
sukuna: she’ll be fast asleep. i will wake up for you. 
eren liked a message 
The second Eren closes his phone, he looks to his left to find your pink, teary eyes looking at him and immediately pales. Your eyes are positively red at this point, an itchiness settling in his throat at the sight of it. 
“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” he asks. 
“No.” you murmur. 
Eren pauses. 
“Did you want to say something?” he asks. 
He watches you pause, almost like you’re mulling over the question. He supposes that it was quite stupid for him to ask, because if it were him in your spot, he probably would have talked your ear off for every little detail. 
“You can ask me anything you want. I’ll tell you the truth, I promise.” Eren adds. 
You give him a halfhearted nod, before looking back out at the window, at the little lights glittering amidst the clouds beneath. It’s like being asked to pick up each grain of sand on a vast, mile long beach. Almost impossible. 
“I don’t even know where to start, Eren.” you murmur. 
Eren gives you an understanding nod before yanking out his laptop before setting it flat in your lap. You swallow hard, knowing fully where he thinks you should begin. With that USB that’s been burning in your pocket, ever since he handed it back to you at the house. 
Of Eren’s interview, on the Life in Love podcast. 
Eren leans into your space, handing you one of the earphones that you settle into your ear, as you press the little play button at the bottom of the screen. The video starts - Eren and Lana sitting with the chunky headphones on their ears - with the interviewer sitting in between them. 
“We’ll start with you, Eren. Have you ever been in love?” the interviewer asks. 
You watch as Eren’s face splits into a bright smile, surely one that was echoed on your face too the day after the beach, as you feel a twinge in your chest. That whenever you saw clips of the interview, they filled you with such intense, deep rooted hatred for Eren that all you saw was red. 
And that he didn’t even deserve one fraction of it. 
“Yes. Of course, I have.” he responds. 
“The person that you’re most associated with, Eren, is your co-star, Y/N L/N, from Attack on Titan. Can you comment on that, on what it’s like to have your first love be something so public?” the interviewer asks. 
Eren sighs, before he leans back in his chair. 
“First love is a funny way to describe it, when it almost feels like it’s more than that? I know a lot of people like to assume things and we’ve never said it publicly, but we did date. Obviously. She’s basically been scored on my heart since the second I met her in my chemistry read, but we ended up officially dating around season three of Attack on Titan. But it’s almost like that concept or notion is too trivial to explain what I even felt for her. She was never just my girlfriend or just my best friend.” 
“Was it one of those…acting became too real situations?” the interviewer asks. 
“I guess that you could say that. We had originally started, I guess, thinking that way when we started doing our character work. It was a whole thing we did together, while we were filming Attack on Titan. Method acting. The reason Y/N and I act so well in Attack on Titan, and win awards from it, is because we had started doing it outside of it too.” Eren responds. 
“Can you elaborate?” the interviewer asks. 
“We had started by kind of putting ourselves in that headspace, off of the set, in order to feel more connected to our characters, their relationship together. I think one of the things about Attack on Titan that makes it so compelling is the fact that my co-stars and myself, not to pat myself on the back, put time and effort into translating our characters into something that is real for us.” Eren states. 
“It’s also something that you kind of just possess as an actor with certain co-stars. Some movies, like rom-coms or drama pieces, just function and work so well because you have that chemistry with the person whose on the other side. And make no mistake, Eren and Y/N aren’t short of any chemistry themselves.” Lana responds. 
“What it is about her that struck you really differently, Eren? Clearly the two of you have a special relationship that you haven’t really been able to replicate else place, certainly not with Hyla Clarkson, for example? I mean, if you’re comfortable, you can share what you told me before you we started recording.” the interviewer states. 
A searing, red hot anger flares through you, at how friendly, how approachable the interviewer seems. The fact that they’re purposely trying to make him feel safe, just to later edit the words as they see fit. 
“Make no mistake, what I have with Hyla Clarkson is like that thing thing that Y/N had with Ricky James. We all have managers, we all get asked to do things that we don’t exactly want to do. I guess that’s the part that people don’t really understand, when they find out about PR relationships. That it seems so morally wrong. But we’re all actors, we’re all part of the entertainment industry - it’s almost like it’s part of the job to do these types of thing. And at that point, Y/N and I weren’t dating and I have strict managers, so…” Eren states. 
“Are you saying that your relationship with Hyla Clarkson wasn’t real?” the interviewer asks. 
“The first time she kissed him he threw up on the other side of a yacht. Do you think his relationship with her is real?” Lana asks, earning a laugh from the two of them. 
“It’s kind of hard to wrap your head around. But we do these things, pretend a little. It’s basically like we’re acting all the time. None of that chemistry, or that character is there. I don’t even think I could ever really like her like that. And it’s not like the relationship I have with Y/N. You asked me why she was different than everyone else? It’s easy. I’ve never met anyone else like her. I’ve never had a relationship like the one I’ve had with anyone else.” 
Eren sighs, nervously knitting his fingers togther, before he talks again. 
“I grew up with this backdrop, of this really fractured relationship with my brother. I was always told as a kid that my family, that the people around me who were real, were the things that were going to keep me tethered to my real life. That if I choose to do this, that I’ll be in the public eye, that people will say things, and it’ll be on me to build trust. To choose the right people.” Eren starts. 
“It was already so jarring to feel like I couldn’t trust my own brother, that my only family didn’t want me. And Y/N…she just kind of walked into my life and there was something so earnest about her. She felt like family basically the second, or third time I had talked to her. She was just something so real. And I’m not sure if it’s because she had a normal childhood, if she came into this on her own or what, but she always got to give me that dose of reality, of realness that I had always craved.” he continues. 
“She was really gentle with me. Always quick to wipe my tears away, to give me support, that felt more full and honest than anyone else. Some part of her made me feel like a real person. I’d always be in my own head, convincing myself that I was made up sometimes, that my feelings were manufactured, that I was just putting on a front for everyone, but I never really felt that way with her. She’s always seen past that, always seen me, in our relationship. Even when we were just friends.” Eren finishes. 
“And that’s just a quality that she naturally possesses. The first time she met me, she basically had no reason to have any trust, to have any good conviction of me. But by the end of the third or fourth day I knew her, I basically felt like the girl had seen right through me. All the way down to my core. And of course, all she saw was good. That’s how she is. I think for people like Eren and I, who naturally think so rotten of ourselves, someone like Y/N, whose so determined in how she shows her love, you almost….start to love yourself too. It’s not something that’s isolated to her, but it’s definitely something rare. People like Y/N and like Marco Bodt…that type of thing is just a part of them.” Lana states. 
“That’s wonderful to hear, especially from you. Y/N has an interesting track record with her own friends, like Historia and Jean and Mikasa that many people have pointed out before. That there’s a part of her that’s conniving, that she uses those around her to get to the top. Is that ever something you’ve noticed, Lana? Especially as someone who would be in competition with her, as a singer-songwriter yourself.” 
“Absolutely not. I think she has drive and ambition and I think that people confuse that with being conniving or competitive. Her existence means that people are going to put her against me or Historia, but that’s just because we’re women. That has nothing to do with something that’s isolated to Y/N and more with people who are just shitty and can’t see two women succeed at once.” Lana states. 
“She’s very focused on her craft - any role, any song she writes - they’re so deeply personal and authentic. That’s why she is so successful, why people covet after her so bad. I don’t consider myself to be in competition with her at all. And if I actually thought I was, I don’t think I would even last a day.” Lana continues.
“That’s something I’ve always admired about her. You’re in competition - and people are putting you there, against people you love - and you have that thing you really want, you’ll do anything to get it. There’s a mentality that people get about it. There’s only one person who ends up on a pedestal and if you have to kick people off to get there, that’s what it is. But she never, ever, put her own friends at stake in ways that she could to do that. I mean all of those rumors about Historia were coming out and she wrote dorothea of all songs, about how important their relationship is always going to be her.” Eren states. 
“You have to hold onto those type of people around you, in this type of industry, when you find them.” Lana states. 
“Good thing for me, then. I never intend to let go.” Eren adds. 
The interviewer smiles, turning to the camera, before talking again. 
“Eren’s prepared a song for us, his first in a while, that he’s going to perform for us live. What’s the song called, Eren?” 
“Sparks.” 
“Any hints to what it’s about?” 
“It’s quite obvious.” Eren responds. 
Lana starts strumming on the guitar, as Eren sings and those godawful tears of yours return. You loop your arm through Eren’s free one on your side, entirely jarred by how calm Eren is watching the interview. At how he’s not a mess, a ruin, like you are at seeing this. 
My heart is yours It's you that I hold on to Yeah, that's what I do
And I know, I was wrong But I won't let you down Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will, yes, I will
Yeah, I saw sparks Yeah, I saw sparks And I saw sparks
The video ends, as you wipe the wetness away on your cheeks and look over at Eren on your side. You lean your head on Eren’s shoulder, unable to look at his piercing green eyes, as he returns the favor and leans his head on top of yours. You try to figure out how to broach it - this big mess of questions in your head - but it seems that Eren saves you from figuring that out and talks first. 
“You said the other day on set you wanted to know why I want on that podcast and said what I did. You wanted to know if I still cared about you…do you know now?” Eren asks, his words so slow and careful. 
“Is it idiot day?” you ask. 
“Huh?” 
“Is it idiot day? Do you really think I’m still sitting here being mad at you? You….” 
You reach forward to cup the side of his face, brushing the softness on his cheek. 
“I have a hundred things I have to say to you. I-I don’t want to speak wrong. Can you give me a second?” you ask. 
Eren smiles, lifting his hand to place it over where yours is on his cheek. 
“I made you wait like…three years. I think I can wait a second for you, Margaret.” Eren whispers. 
You frown, nodding as Eren places his hand on your head and leans it back onto his shoulder. 
“Thanks, Bruce.” you murmur back. 
“Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up when we’re there.” Eren repsonds. 
--
It’s only when the two of you are walking up the cobblestone path, barely illuminated by the light of the rising sun, that you realize that Eren’s brought you back to the same beach house that the two of you had visited before. 
In the past twenty four hours (the ones you’ve been awake for anyways), the only thing that seems to be replaying in your mind is that night. Because every action of Eren’s that you’ve doubted seems painfully obvious now. The song he wrote, the way he insisted that the two of you were real people, only together. 
That Eren gave you so many signs. And that you didn’t know how to read them. 
The salty air stings at your nose as Eren pulls up the mat, pocketing the key placed under it, and giving you a smile. 
“Isn’t that really dangerous? To keep a key under their mat when they live so…out in the open?” you ask. 
“Sukuna put it there for me. And no one knows they live here. This is technically Lana’s brother’s house, so they never really suspected it.” Eren offers, shoving the key into the lock as he twists the knob open. 
You and Eren quietly set your bags by the door, making it a point to tip toe in the early hours of the morning only to pad into the main room to find Lana standing near the counter, cracking eggs into the bowl. 
“Oh my god! Don’t tell me that Lana No Middle Name Price is awake at a normal hour of the day?” Eren deadpans, giving her a jeering smile as she all but drops her little spatula and runs over to hug him. 
You watch the two of them, the way Eren seems more calm in his demeanour now, as the two of them lean against the counter and talk. His shoulders are more relaxed, the softest of smiles on his face while Lana looks unlike you’ve ever seen her. 
Her hair is extremely short, barely secured into a ponytail at the back of her neck with a pink ribbon. But even more than that, it’s something about her smile, the way her eyes are glimmering that it fills that gaping hole that’s been burning in your chest with the smallest warmth as you watch the two of them. 
“Sukuna’s going to get mad when you burn those cookies.” Eren states. 
“I’m not going to burn the cookies, Eren. That was one time.” she responds. 
“You almost fed your son a carcinogen. And burned the house down. Also, we all inhaled a lot of smoke so you probably ruined our lungs for all we know-” 
Lana lightly smacks him straight across the face, as he laughs and immediately swats her hands off. The two of them continue that way - pushing and shoving each other like siblings - until Lana pushes Eren a little bit too hard and he backs up into you. 
Eren immediately looks back, his hands on your shoulders as he stables your wobble, and you shoot him a grateful smile. It’s only then that Lana notices you standing there, at the front of her little kitchen, and you shoot her a smile. 
Lana’s quick to run to your side and give you a hug - the pressure on your body so tight that you can feel her squeezing that little burden of hurt that’s been sitting in your chest. Lana makes no move to let go, as you quickly deflate into her arms and start sniffling into her shoulder, immediate warm tears sparking in your eyes as her hands rub circles into your back. 
“We’ll talk, Tinky Winky. About all of it, okay?” she whispers. 
You give her a nod, as you wipe the tears from your eyes. You follow the two of them into the kitchen, as Lana continues to roll the little cookies into circular shapes. 
“Eren. Go away.” Lana states. 
“Wow. Is this how you repay me? After I take care of your son?” 
“He is your godson. You should be happy to take care of him. And they just left for their walk not that long ago, you can catch up.” Lana states. 
“Sukuna is a speedwalker. They’re probably long gone.” Eren whines. 
“Eren. Respectfully, get out of my house. Go sit on the beach and stare at the water like the little freak that you are and let me talk to Y/N in private.” Lana states. 
“I do not-!” 
“Yes, you do. Y/N, I swear to god, he sat out there everyday and we had to drag him back in like we were pulling an anchor out of the sea. Now get out.” Lana states. 
Eren sticks his tongue out, before shooting you a warm smile and padding out onto the sand. You stick your hand into the bowl, rolling the cookies into little circles with her as you give her a smile. 
“Cute ribbon.” you murmur. 
“I wore it for you. A Y/N classique.” Lana responds. 
You smile in response, as the two of you continue to roll the batter and decide what you want to talk about first. And just like Eren, she bites the bullet for you first. 
“Sukuna’s here. He’s just on a walk right now with Teddy.” 
You smile to yourself, the thought of it filling you with an immense amount of joy. 
“Do they do that often?” 
“Every day. Teddy’s quite the insomniac and wakes up extremely early. Sukuna lets me sleep in a little and takes him on a little walk along the beach. Says that they need their father son bonding time.” she muses. 
“I remember that about him. Theodore or Teddy, I mean. When Eren brought me here, in the dead of night, he was awake. With your brother, making cookies.” 
She smiles, setting the little tray in the oven, as she gestures for you to follow her onto the couch. 
“Theodore, huh? Eren did tell me he had quite the crush on you back then.” Lana states. 
“Huh?” 
“He doesn’t really go by Theodore. Eren and I call him Teddy and Sukuna calls him Theo, but…Theodore just feels a little bit too formal. He only uses it for really important people. Like you. And when he starts talking to Elsa on the TV screen.” 
“I’m glad I’m keeping such important company.” you respond. 
You laugh, hiking your knees to your chest as you decide to bite the bullet full on. 
“Lana….Ricky isn’t in his life, right?” you whisper. 
She gives you a nod, placing one of her hands on yours, as she gives you a warm smile. 
“No. Thankfully, he’s never even met Teddy. And he’s not going to.” 
“Does he know about him?” you ask. 
“Yeah. I had told him, a few weeks after it happened. When I started showing. And you know how he is…he wanted me to have an abortion and be done with it. But I…I couldn’t go through with it.” Lana states. 
She sighs, cracking her knuckles. 
“I know it seems weird. I really do hate Ricky, everything about him, but Teddy isn’t really…his in my mind. And-” 
“He’s your son. And Sukuna’s. I wasn’t even thinking that. And…and even if I was, you don’t need to explain yourself to me of all people.” you respond. 
Lana scoots closer to you on the couch, as she leans her head on your shoulder and you place yours on top of hers. 
“I kind of saw it as my way out for some time. LIke, I was so deep in with everything and all the people that we were working with. It would have never been acceptable to take a break, not unless I had to take one. And I’m not saying that I had him because I wanted to get away from work, but to me…it just kind of felt like a sign. I got to crank the brakes.” 
“I’m sure it was good for you, in ways that you might not even know about yet.” 
“I think he saved my life, Y/N. I was so deep in that shitty, self-absorbed bubble of the industry and how it is and he just…reminded me other things were more important. He took his first steps and he’s learning how to play the piano…his entire world is confined to what movie we’re going to play after lunch. Who's going to tuck him into bed at night. That’s how life should be. And that’s always how I wanted mine to look. Soft, calm.” 
You smile, squeezing one of her hands interlocked with yours. At the thought of Lana, wishing for this exact future when she was a kid, only to have it now. That she fought nail and tooh for it, but still got to have it. 
“I would have told you about Teddy. About everything. But I wanted to keep it as under wraps as I could and-” she starts. 
“You are entitled to share your secrets with whoever you want. You don’t owe anything to me.” you state. 
“I know. But just know, it’s not because I didn’t trust you. You mean the world to me, in more ways than you could ever possibly know.” Lana states. 
You shake your head dismissively, as she quickly brushes you off. 
“No, really. Eren and I…I know it can be really hard to understand why we did what we did. Why we kept so much but from you. But we grew up in this type of thing. It seems difficult to confront these things head on, when they’re basically what your whole lives have revolved around.” Lana states. 
“I get that. But…you guys seem fine doing it now? Especially with the documentary and all, I guess I just…wish I knew earlier. Could have helped you both to this point sooner. I feel shitty because you did it all on your own and you didn’t have to.” 
Lana smiles. 
“You know we only did that because of you, right? The documentary.” 
“You mean Eren.” 
“No. I mean Connie. Me. Sukuna, even. And you know how…private he is. But we did it because of you. You’ve always reminded us, in your own ways, not to take shit from people. And at this point, we don’t really have anything to lose. Only things to gain. Like you back in our life. Control over our lives again.” 
“You guys are building me up into this big thing I’m not. I hid out for two years because I was too scared to confront everything. I ignored all of you because it was easy for me to do. I’m far from this big..confrontational person you think I am. And I’m definitely not as good of a friend or supporter to you all like you think I am.” you murmur. 
“Or…you just think too little of yourself. You went through something big, traumatic even. So did we. It’s no shit that Eren was special to you, so of course the loss of him was going to be big. And you also had your fucking life’s work stolen from you, which is nothing small, Y/N.” 
“I guess.” 
“One of the biggest, most important things that Eren has taught me was having grace. Don’t ever tell him that because you already know how big his fucking head is. But…there’s a lot of patience that you have to have with yourself to get yourself out of that headspace. I lived there for years. And it is so not feasible for you, Y/N. At the end of the day, you’re still someone in our lives whose stood for the right things. And you still have that impact, even if you feel like that’s not what you’re doing right now. You don’t always have to be one thing to be the same person. Who you are, who you’ve always been, won’t ever change.” 
You swallow hard. 
“So you missed a few days? There’s another one tomorrow, Y/N. You lost a few years with Eren? That doesn’t matter because he’s still always going to be there for you.” Lana states. 
You give her a nod, embarrassed that she’s read so quickly through you when it comes to Eren, as you pinch a smile for her. 
 “Just like the moons and the suns, with the certainty of the tides, just like hope springing high, still you’ll rise.” Lana states. 
Eren’s words from the beach. 
“Maya Angelou. Eren’s told me that one before.” 
Lana smiles, rolling her eyes. 
“He’s cheesy. But it doesn’t make it any less true.” 
You wrap your arms around her, sighing into her shoulder, as she hugs you hard. 
“I’m really proud of you for owning it all. I hope that you get to drag Ricky’s name through the mud. For good this time.” you respond. 
“A girl can hope.” 
“And hank you, Lana.” 
She tilts her head in confusion. 
“You took care of Eren when I couldn’t. I won’t exactly be able to repay you for that.” you murmur. 
“Consider yourself repaid. You did the same for Sukuna before I knew him.” 
You scoff. 
“As if. Sukuna and I are nowhere near how you and Eren are.” 
She shakes her head dismissively, as she hops up on her feet and drags you by the arm to the hallway. The walls are littered in little frames, each little photo sweet little memories. 
There’s pictures of Lana, Sukuna, and Teddy on the beach and of Eren sitting at the piano with Teddy in his lap. Of Lana and Eren fast asleep on the couch and of Sukuna and Yuuji pulling each other’s cheeks as kids. And the last one in the row is of you and Sukuna, cheesing on the set of Ten Things I Hate About You. 
“It might not feel that way to you, but you’re his best friend. He’s told me that you were one of the first people - to meet him and treat him like a person. It’s no shit that everyone hated him when he was sixteen, but you were the one to extend your hand to him and be friends. Means a lot more to him than you think.” she murmurs. 
You give her a nod, as the two of you shuffle back into the kitchen and take the little tray of cookies out of the oven. You nicely plate them all onto the platter and turn around to wash your hands, as Sukuna, Teddy, and Eren pad back into the kitchen. 
“Ryomen Sukuna, if you track sand into my house again, I’m sending you right back out and you’re staying there for a few days.” Lana warns. 
You turn around to find Sukuna giving Lana an eye roll, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to her cheek. His arm is still secured around her as he faces the platter of cookies. 
“Lana Price. Did you bake something without setting the house on fire?” Sukuna asks. 
“Yes. I’m not incompetent, you know?” Lana responds, trying to shove him off. 
“Right. Making ready-made cookies is such a difficult task. Quite the feat if you ask me.” 
“It is! You have no idea.” she deadpans back, as Teddy runs up to hug her legs and she lifts him straight into her arms. 
Teddy reachs for the little ribbon in her hair immediately, twisting it in his little hands as he yanks it out of her hair. 
“Teddy, tell your dad he’s being very rude. And that I’m a very good cook.” Lana states. 
“Mommy. You almost made a car engine.” Teddy responds. 
“Buddy. It’s carcinogen. Car-sin-o-gen.” Eren repeats, annunciating every syllable. 
“Eren, quit teaching my kid bad words. You’re a horrible influence. And Y/N was watching me while I made them so…” Lana murmurs, pressing a kiss to Teddy’s cheek before setting him back on the floor and letting him run up in between Eren’s legs. 
Eren gives you a smile from your little vantage point near the sink, as he gestures for you to come closer to him. You follow and crouch down to where Eren - and Teddy - are standing as Teddy nervously peeks at you from behind Eren’s back. 
“Okay, bud. This is my pretty friend, Y/N. Can you say hi?” he asks. 
Teddy’s cheeks turn bright red, as he nervously toussles his hair, before extending his little hand to you. 
“My name is Theodore Price. My mommy calls me Teddy. And Eren. And my dad calls me Theo. And the mailman always calls me kid.” Teddy rambles. 
You fight the urge to laugh, at how cute he is, as you smile at him. 
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Y/N.” you respond, shaking his little hand as you watch a little smile spread across his face. 
You look up to find Sukuna making eye contact with Lana, mouthing Theodore? as Lana shakes her head dimissively at him. You give Sukuna a smile, which he actually returns, before you focus back on Teddy. 
“I have a gift for you.” Teddy states. 
“For me? On your birthday?” you ask. 
“I didn’t buy it so it doesn’t actually count.” he responds. 
“Sound logic, my friend. What is it?” you ask. 
“You have to close your eyes and put your hands out.” 
You look up at Eren, giving him a disbelieving look, as he gestures for you to follow. You close your eyes and cup your hands out to the two of them, as you hear Eren laugh. 
“Okay. You can open them now.” Teddy states. 
You open your eyes to find a pink ribbon in your hand, specifically the one that Teddy just snagged from Lana’s hair, as you hear Sukuna and Eren laugh. You smile hard, twisting it in your hands. 
“Thank you, Teddy. That’s very kind of you.” you respond, giving him a smile. 
He returns the favor, his cheeks bright pink, as he runs up behind Sukuna’s legs and burrows his face into the fabric of his pants. You and Eren stand back up, as Eren leans into your space and whispers. 
“He still has a crush on you.” Eren states. 
“He’s a baby, Eren.” 
“You’re so rude. Babies aren’t capable of love?” 
“Well, you’re standing right here so that’s obviously not true.” you deadpan. 
“Haha. Now give it.” Eren states, holding his hand out to you. 
“Give you what?” 
“The ribbon, dingus.” Eren responds. 
“Actually, Eren. He gave it to me. Maybe if you were cuter, he’d give it to you.” 
“Okay, Megamind. Don’t get a big head now. I was just going to put it on for you.” Eren responds. 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, oh.” 
You place the little pink ribbon in Eren’s hands, as he gestures for you to turn around. He’s quick to secure the ribbon into the little ponytail in your hair, giving your head a little pat when he’s finished. 
“So cute.” Eren says, sarcastically. 
“Shut up. I’m adorable.” you respond. 
Eren smiles. 
“Yes, you are.” he responds, zero hint of sarcasm in his voice. 
Sukuna gives Eren a nod, as the two of them switch spots, and he takes your side. You get to take Sukuna in full this time, at the little smile wrinkles near his eyes and the salty, beach smell that seems to emanate off of him. 
“Y/N L/N. Are you finally gracing us with your presence?” Sukuna asks. 
“Father Sukuna. I think I am.” you respond, placing your hands on your hips. 
Sukuna smiles, reaching forward to mess with your hair. 
“You and I are going to talk after breakfast. And that’s only because Lana will burn our house down if I leave her alone to it.” Sukuna states. 
“Deal.” you respond, smiling at him. 
--
You and Sukuna settle down onto the little patio, the waves of the ocean crashing against the sand in front of you. He sets the little plates in front of the two of you, giving you a smile, as you both lean back in your chairs. 
“Pumpkin pie?” you ask. 
“You want some?” Sukuna asks. 
“Sure.” 
And then Sukuna lifts the plate and immediately smashes the pie into your face. It’s cold and squishy, as you quickly smear it out of your eyes just to glare at him. 
“Eren! Bring Y/N a towel. And another slice of pie.” Sukuna states. 
Eren sticks his head out of the screen door, widened eyes at the state of you. 
“What happened?” Eren asks. 
“She fell into the pie. She’s always been such a clutz.” Sukuna states. 
“Into the pie? On the plate?” Eren asks. 
“Yes.” Sukuna responds. 
Eren gives the two of you a weird look, as he shuffles back into the house and returns with a towel. You wipe all of the filling off of your face before hitting Sukuna straight in the face with the towel and crossing your arms. 
“Is it asshole day, Sukuna?” 
“That’s rich coming from you. I’m the asshole?” Sukuna asks. 
“You just smashed a pie into my face.” 
“And you didn’t return my calls for two years.” Sukuna responds, glaring. 
You sigh, leaning back in the chair, as you look at him. 
“Make no mistake, Y/N. I’m not Eren and I’m not Mikasa. I’m not going to beat around the bush just for you.” Sukuna states. 
“Thanks, Sukuna. I can always count on you to support me.” you deadpan. 
Sukuna stops in his tracks, before swallowing hard. 
“Lana told me to be nice to you.” he states. 
“You don’t have to be. Whatever it is you’re feeling…I’m sure that I deserve it.” you respond. 
“Contrary to your belief, I don’t actually enjoy being rude. I actually hate it. But…there are things you have to know. You’re really fucking stupid sometimes, Y/N.” 
You roll your eyes. 
“You’re a changed man, Sukuna.” 
Sukuna shifts in his seat, as you quickly bite your words. 
“I wasn’t being sarcastic. You really do seem different. Better.” you murmur. 
Sukuna smiles. 
“I am. Different. Better.” 
You lean forward, placing a hand on his forearm. 
“You’re a fucking dad, Sukuna.” 
“I know. Who would have thought?” he asks. 
“Me. I always knew you’d be great at this type of thing.” 
“Yeah right.” Sukuna responds, sarcastically. 
“No, really. You…you have that ability. The type that really good parents have. You always know what to give people, what they need to hear. You know that people don’t give things to me straight, so you always do it for them. And you’re the only person on my side - the only person who says that and means it.” you respond. 
Sukuna leans forward on his elbow. 
“I could have done better by you. I know that.” 
“Sukuna-” 
“The awards show. I could have stopped you. I…I figured that Historia and Jean were riling you up. That you were already far past a point of reason and I just…” 
“I would have cussed you out if you tried to go against me in that moment, Sukuna. Kicked you out of my house.” 
“I thought that much but…but still. I could have made you listen.” Sukuna responds. 
“Don’t get me wrong. I find lots of value in your words. But really, I wouldn’t have listened. And…and you were still there in the way that I needed you. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten that the person who dragged me out of that dressing room that night was you.” you murmur. 
Sukuna sighs. 
“I fucking hate you for not talking to me, Y/N. I get not talking to anyone from Attack on Titan. To Levi, Hange, whatever. But I was never apart of that. I was your friend, Y/N. I was always on your side.” 
“I’m sorry.” you respond. 
“You don’t think I would have fought for your albums back with you? That I wouldn’t have wrung Eren’s neck out if he asked me to? That I wouldn’t have crawled into your shitty house and stayed there with you if you needed me to?” 
You swallow hard. 
“It’s embarrassing to be around people when I know I’m doing something wrong. But it’s infinitely more embarrassing when that person is you, Sukuna.” you respond. 
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 
“I mean…you’re one of the best people I know. You’re always saying what’s on your mind, you’re exactly what I want to be. Honest. Earnest. A good friend. I know I can be shitty. It’s just really hard for me to do it in front of you.” you respond. 
“You think too much of me.” Sukuna states. 
“You think too little of yourself.” you respond. 
“Don’t quote my girl back to me, L/N.” Sukuna sneers, lightly shoving you. 
You smile. 
“Your girl, eh?” your respond, smirking at him as you watch a pink flush crawl up his neck. 
“Do you think you’re funny? We have a kid together.” Sukuna responds. 
“You have a crush on Lana.” you respond. 
“Okay?” 
“That’s so cute, Sukuna.” you respond, exaggerating each syllable as he rolls his eyes at you. 
You lean forward and wrap your arms around him, hugging him as hard as you can as you feel the tears collect in your eyes. Sukuna pulls back the second he feels you sniffling, his eyes pinched in annoyance. 
“Why are you crying?” 
“I’m so happy for you, Sukuna.” you whisper. 
Sukuna deflates, pinching his lips shut. 
“You could have told me too, Sukuna. About all of it, everything that happened. When-when you were a kid. I would have listened to you. And I would never tell.” you whisper. 
“I almost did tell you. That night that we were in my trailer. When Historia released Lacy.” 
You gesture for him to continue. 
“I told you that…that hundreds, thousands of people loved me and I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror. It was more humiliating for me than that. I looked in the mirror and didn’t know who I was, how I let that happen to me-” 
You feel the tears immediately burn in your eyes. 
“-but it bothered me even more. Because I look just like Yuuji, Y/N. Yuuji means the fucking world to me, just like you do. Like Lana does. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. And…and at that point I realized. That I didn’t even hold myself to that standard. That I didn’t see that happening to myself and think that I deserved better.” Sukuna states. 
“Sukuna. You deserve so much better. So much better.” you whisper. 
“I know that now. And I have it too, Y/N.” 
You and Sukuna turn your heads to look at Lana and Teddy through the window, the two of them showing Eren something in a book. The two of you smile at each other. 
“Luckily for me, Lana showed up right when I needed her. I can’t believe that I’ve been walking around her for years, on red carpets and at awards shows. She was right under my nose this entire time and I had no idea.”  
“There’s this legend. An invisible string of fate. That the person that you’re destined to be with, the two of you have a little string tied around your pinkies the second you’re born. And no matter how far you go, you’ll still have a pull on each other. End up together.” you respond. 
“Yeah?” 
“I’m pretty sure the two of you have been making steps towards each other the entire time, Sukuna.” you respond. 
He smiles in response. 
“Me too.” Sukuna responds. 
You wipe the wetness from your cheek, as you lean back in the chair. 
“Okay, Sukuna. Give it to me straight.” 
“Give what? A slap?” Sukuna asks. 
“No. I know you. You’ve probably got a lot to say to me. So…just come right out and say it. I can take it.” 
Sukuna smiles, almost too sinisterly. 
“You sure?” 
“Yes.” 
“Positive? You can’t fight me on any of it.”
“Fine. Just tell me.” 
He takes a deep breath before talking, the tone in his voice so matter-of-fact that it catches you off guard. 
“You have no right to give Mikasa shit for picking another maid of honor. Even if Amy’s a bitch to you. Quit playing the victim with her on that one, becuase first and foremost, you will lose. And second of all, she’s getting married. You’re the one who needs to bite the bullet and make sure that she has a good day.” 
“Wait-” you start. 
“Why aren’t you writing any music anymore? Why are you accrediting all of your success to Danny and Sareen when you’re the one who wrote those songs?” 
“I’m not-” 
“Aren’t you though? And when are you going to stop punishing Eren for something that you did to him first.” 
“Sukuna.” 
“What are you mad at him for? That he didn’t tell you what he was going through? Isn’t that what you did to him first? Because yeah, you’d call him before all your shows and pretend like things were fine. And then Eren had to find out from a fucking interview that those two dickwads were starving you. That they were controlling you like you were one of their assets.”  
You sigh. 
“I’m not playing the victim with Mikasa.” 
“Aren’t you though? Because if it were me, if I had not talked to my best friend in two years despite the fact that she reached out multiple times, I’d think that I was in the wrong.” 
“I was struggling.” 
“And you don’t think she wasn’t? Did you know that she almost broke up with Jean in the years that you were gone?” 
You pale. 
“What?” 
“Did you ask her? Did you ask her how she was when you came back?” 
You swallow hard. 
“You don’t think that she needed you for that? For something as big as almost losing Jean when he’s always been by her side. You don’t think that she needed you for even small things even beyond that? Someone to talk to. Someone to support her?” 
“Are her and Jean okay?” 
“Yes. Eren was there. But Eren can’t exactly replace what you are for Mikasa. And god knows he has the emotional capabilities of a fucking teaspoon.” 
It seems that every time you’re at the depths of your regret, of your guilt, you find that there is always a way to sink down further. 
“Quiet now, aren’t you? Fight me about the music.” he states. 
“No.” 
“Because I’m right?” he asks. 
“So what if you are? I just don’t want to write anything anymore. It’s not that serious.” 
Sukuna leans forward, inches between your faces. 
“It’s not that serious, for any normal person. But it is that serious for you. Because you love to write music, Y/N. You scribble lyrics onto your scripts when you’re supposed to be reading them. You hum songs when you’re basically doing anything. And you’re not doing it now, because you’re still in that godforsaken hole you sank yourself into in your house.” 
“So what if I am, Sukuna? What if I am? Don’t you get that I’m fucking scared of this type of thing? That it is isn’t easy? I lost Eren. And then I lost my music. All of my friends. You don’t think that type of thing was fucking hard for me?” you respond, warm tears spilling out of your eyes. 
Sukuna leans forward, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing hard. 
“You were never one to back down from a fight. What kind of hold do you think those two idiots have over you at this point? Need I remind you, that they’re only famous, that they only have a claim to their names, because of you. Did you lose Eren? No. Because he’s literally peering through the fucking window right now because you’re crying. Did you lose your music? No, because he fought so hard to somehow get it back for you. And you didn’t lose your friends. We’re right in front of you.” 
You pull back, glaring at him. Because as annoying as he is, he always did point out the truth. You give Eren a smile through the window, gesturing to him that it’s okay, as he gives you a disbelieving look and walks away. 
“I’m mad at Eren for what he said to me.” you respond. 
“That’s valid. But have you ever considered that he might have been mad at you for what you said to him too? Or even worse, that you could have really hurt him?” 
“What did I say to him? Because he-” 
“You didn’t pick him.” 
“But, Sukuna. I had to do that. Sareen and Danny-” 
“So you get it. You get that what you did was because you had to. So why don’t you understand that what Eren said to you was because it was what he had to say too?” 
You sigh. 
“Don’t be a hypocrite, Y/N. You know I don’t say any of this to hurt you.  But you’re not twenty-one anymore. And neither is Eren. It’s time for you to face this head on. Both of you.” he states, the tone in voice so caring that it makes you falter. 
You sigh. 
“Did you know that Eren was struggling that bad?” 
“No. And I gave him tons of shit at the time for it. You’re not the only one with regrets.” he states. 
--
After a fresh shower, you pad back into the main room to find Eren in the kitchen, while Sukuna, Lana, and Teddy cuddle in the crouch. Eren gestures for you to join him at your side, as he pushes a little cutting board and the food towards your side. 
“Are you trusting me to cut the vegetables? Are you finally viewing me as your equal, Eren Jaeger?” you ask, feigning shock. 
“It’s a safety knife. That’s what Teddy uses when Lana teaches him how to cook.” Eren responds, smirking at you. 
You elbow him, accompanied with nice string of insults as you stand at Eren’s side. You look to the picture at the your side, of Sukuna, Lana, and Teddy dressed up nice in a little courthouse. 
“Hey. What’s this?” 
“Lana and Sukuna are married.” Eren states. 
“Excuse me. You said they were dating.” you state. 
“We said dating in the documentary, because they were dating at the time. But at their one year anniversary, they did a small little court wedding. The three of them got takeout sushi and came home like right after.” Eren states. 
You walk over to the picture, inspecting it in full this time. At Lana’s white slip dress, at their matching rings, and the little bouquet in Teddy’s hands. The three of them are smiling so brightly, Lana and Sukuna leaning their temples together, with their eyes closed and bright smiles. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm?”
“How did that happen?” you ask, gesutring over to the three of them. 
Eren sets his knife down, lookng over at the picture as he places his hands on his hips. You can already tell from his stance that whatever he’s about to say is going to be bitingly sassy. 
“Okay. When two people love each other, they get in a be-” 
“Shut up, idiot. I mean, Lana and Sukuna.” 
Eren shoves you in the side, as the two of you avert your eyes to the three of them on the couch. 
“After that night, when I had said everything to you, I had immediately called Levi and Hange. Lana and I had been debating calling them and asking for help the second I ended up in the hospital, but that night was kind of the final straw for me.” Eren states. 
“Your injury should have been your final straw, Eren.” you respond, pinching your eyes at him. 
“At that point, I was ready to drag Scott Clarkson into the ground. From my standpoint, I didn’t really have anything to lose from suing them. And Connie and Lana, it didn’t take them much convincing to follow. But Levi basically wanted to stack all of our cards in our favor, that if we were going to say something, anyone else who has something to say would get to take that chance too.” Eren adds. 
“That’s where he came in.” you state, to which Eren gives you an affirmative nod. 
“Sukuna had told us almost everything about what happened to him, except for…you know.” 
The sexual assault. 
“Yeah.” 
“Lana was the first person that he told. And I don’t know what she told him, since that’s not something I understand having experienced but she obviously does, but…they both just kind of came to us one day. Told us that they wanted to own it.” Eren adds. 
“So, they just got close? From all that? Not that it’s not a thing that connects him, but he…he’s always so reserved.” you ask. 
“I think he just naturally gravitated towards her, that’s all. I think they have these deep, all encompassing emotions that they don’t share with other people. The feel things deeply, love really hard. It was just like an underlying thing…that they knew they would get along in that way. Like you and me.” 
“Like you and me?” 
“Y’know. We were close right off the bat. No awkward stage, no holding things back from each other. Well, in the beginning at least.” Eren states. 
You hum in response. 
“Sukuna met Teddy pretty early on. When Lana and Sukuna started dating, they were serious straight off the bat. He kind of just…fit in perfectly with them. Nothing really changed. Teddy just kind of called him dad in passing one day. No one really said much about it, but I did find Sukuna crying later.” 
You frown, clutching your hands on your chest. 
“I’m really happy for them, Eren. There’s no one who deserves it more than them.” 
You feel a brush past your shoulder to find Sukuna and Lana at your sides, the two of them tip toeing into the fridge and pulling a little box out. Eren hands you a little box of candles, as you pull out five little green ones. 
The four of you huddle over the cake, perfectly placing them and lighting them, as you walk over to where Teddy’s still sitting, fully engrossed into the screen. Sukuna turns to the three of you, quietly counting down, before you all burst out singing and Teddy turns around excitedly. 
You watch as Sukuna smashes a decent amount of frosting onto Teddy’s cheeks after he blows out the candles, as Lana quickly snaps a picture of the two of them with the cake. 
“Is that your thing now, Sukuna? You just smash dessert into people’s faces?” you ask. 
“Well, you deserved it. And I’ve been doing this since my first birthday with him.” Sukuna states. 
“Don’t tell me you smashed food in a grown woman’s face?” Lana asks, deadpanning. 
“It was pie. That hardly counts as food. And again, need I repeat, that she deserved it.” 
Lana comes over, securing her hands around your shoulders, as she presses a kiss to your cheek. 
“You’re rude. Our princess does no wrong.” she states, gesturing for Eren to join him at her side. 
Eren follows suit, gesturing for Lana to get in the picture, as he points the little camera at them, and you peer over his shoulder at the viewfinder. 
“Teddy. What did you wish for?” Eren asks. 
“Don’t say! Your wish won’t come true.” Lana whines. 
“Y/N!” Teddy states, giving you a bright smile. 
Sukuna laughs, reaching for his sides to tickle at him. 
“Sorry buddy. You already snoozed and lost on that one.” Sukuna responds. 
The three of them shuffle to the counter as Sukuna starts cutting the cake into little slices and placing them on the plates. After a decent amount of dessert and sweet pictures, Eren shuffles away with Teddy to set him to bed, as you shuffle into your own room and muse over what you’re going to say to Eren later. 
--
Eren makes his way down the following morning, to find the three of them mulling around in the kitchen. He makes it a point to shove Lana and smack Sukuna, before pressing a kiss on top of Teddy’s head and taking the seat next to them. 
“You’re not going on your walk?” Eren asks, looking up at Sukuna. 
“Someone already claimed the beach.” 
“Huh?” 
Sukuna points behind him, as Eren looks out the window to find you sitting there in the sand, on a little blanket. Your back is facing towards him, your hair slightly swaying in the light breeze of the beach outside. 
“What’s she doing?” Eren asks. 
“She wants to talk to you, Eren.” Lana states. 
Eren pales. 
“Out there?” Eren asks. 
The two of them nod as Eren feels knots twisting in his stomach, that whatever semblance of relationship that the two of you were building back together was going to come crashing down in a second. That the harsh, cruel justice that he was owed was finally going to be served to him. 
“Fuck. Okay. Do I look fine?” Eren asks, turning to the two of them. 
Sukuna and Teddy squint their eyes in confusion, as Lana gives him a big thumbs up and all but pushes him onto the patio. He turns around and gives her a pointed glare, which she only returns with a smile as he starts trudging towards you, feet digging into the sand. 
You notice Eren before he can creep up behind you, as you give him a smile and gesture for him to take the spot next to you. It’s decently overcast, a slight chill in the air as you pull your hoodie around you and watch the waves crash ahead. 
“Hey.” Eren says. 
Eren takes the spot at your side, hiking his knees to his chest, as your elbows brush against each other in the cold. 
“Wanna go skinny dipping?” you ask. 
“I beg your pardon?” Eren resopnds, eyes nearly bulging out of his head.  
You can barely contain your laughter, as Eren quickly catches on. His cheeks are positively pink as he starts grumbling under his breath about how mean you are and you choke out an apology. The two of you sit there in silence as the water pulls close to the shore, just to quickly retreat back into the big mass of water. 
You bite the bullet this time.
“The song that you wrote that day. The one that you sang to me on the beach.” you say. 
“Yeah?” Eren asks, almost too attentive as he hangs at the ends of your words. 
“That’s my first question. What did it mean?” you ask. 
Eren looks back out at the waves. 
“I thought that what we had ran it’s course when I wrote it. It was a few days before you got there. And by that point, I was already so down in it that all I was left with was the feeling of being grateful. That I did get to experience that love, with you, at some point. And you know. You’re the moon. I’m the ocean. It was a nice solace to think our love would last forever that way..” Eren responds. 
You nod in response. 
“That night. When- when you tried to kiss me. I told you I couldn’t because you were still with Hyla. Why didn’t you tell me then and there that you had broken up?” you ask. 
“I could have. But I wanted to know if you wanted me still, with such extreme urgency, that-that I kind of forgot that I was technically dating her in the first place. I said it before, but I never really considered that real, Y/N. She didn’t even warrant a mention in my mind. Or ever mean anything to me.” Eren responds. 
“Okay.” 
Eren pauses. You suppose your response was barely convincing and that he can most definitely tell. 
“I’m only telling you this part because Sukuna is going to tell you anyway and he’s been holding it over my head for weeks.” Eren states. 
“What?” 
“It’s embarrassing. Just- pretend like it’s nothing when Sukuna says it to you.” 
“Okay?” 
“The yacht. When-when Hyla kissed me.” 
“Oh. Vomitgate.” you respond, smiling at him. 
“Don’t call it that!” he whines. 
You laugh as you gesture for him to continue, his cheeks lightly dusted pink. 
“Hyla likes to wear a lot of lipgloss. And she..she always wears this red one. That smells like cherries.” he states. 
“Okay?”  
“I didn’t know that it tasted like cherries too. And when she kissed me, I-I could taste it.” Eren mumbles. 
“Congratulations? I’m glad it tasted good while you were kissing her.” 
“No! No, Y/N. You don’t get it. You….you taste like cherries when I kissed you. Or when you used to.” 
“Huh?” 
“The slushies. Your lips always tasted like cherries. So when she kissed me, I-I immediately thought of you. And…and then I realized it was her.” 
“And then you…projectile vomited?” you finish. 
“Okay, you promised you wouldn’t make fun.” 
You smile. Primarily because he’s so embarrassed that it’s cute. And that in the most evil way, the thought of him being so disgusted by kissing someone that isn’t you that it makes him vomit makes your heart warm in a special way. 
“I said no such thing, Eren.” 
The two of you sit there in silence for some time, as you muse over his words. The air only seems to get colder as time goes on, the clouds swirling in the sky above the two of you. 
“The things that you said to me, Eren. I-I know they weren’t true. But I want to know how you came up with them. Because I understand that it was something you had to say. But they just fell out of your mouth so easily. That you only wanted me for that and nothing more and-” 
“In no way were those words easy for me to say. Don’t even say that.” Eren states, the urgency in his tone so adamant that it makes you sweat. 
“How did you come up with it? Because it must have been in the back of your mind if-” 
“Y/N. I come from literally the shittiest, meanest place that you can imagine. I’ve told you before. The things that Zeke had said to me.” Eren states. 
“And?” 
Eren stops. His voice is softer this time, almost laced with a pinch of hurt. 
“When life gets harder, I have to get harder to match. If you show up and I can’t have you, the thought of it fills me with so much anger, so much hurt that it all comes out. On you. And that doesn’t make anything I said okay, but you being there. Having you so close to me and having to send you away. It had to be something cruel. You wouldn’t have gone otherwise.” 
“Well-” 
“Don’t even say that to me. Because I know for a fact that if I had told you any of this then, you would never leave. You wouldn’t listen to me because you’d want to stay with me.” 
“Is there something wrong with that? With me wanting to be there for you?” 
“Of course, not. It’s just that you being there with me required you to be there. With those shitty people. And if it comes to you or me, I’d pick you. Even if I had to do something shitty to make sure that you were far away.” 
You’re immediately reminded of the conversation that you had with Eren. Or more acutely, the fight that the two of you had. Of what Eren had said to you. 
But I couldn’t have you there. Because if it came down to it, when I had to pick between covering someone else or taking care of you, I’d pick you.
You swallow the lump in your throat. Of the implication that if Eren was faced with the choice - of you and Teddy or you and Connie - that he would pick you. 
Even if it was the wrong choice to make. 
“And Armin?” you ask. 
“That’s the thing about you two. You both came in so hot. I was expecting after the interview that the two of you were going to cuss me out, leave without even saying anything. But your instinct - both of yours - was to immediately believe it wasn’t true. Bittersweet, because you knew me well enough to know I’d never really say that but also shitty becuase then I had to bite back to make sure you left.” Eren states. 
You lift the little cover at your side and slide the little box into Eren’s hands. You see his eyes go wide immediately, as you hand him a polaroid camera, the exact specific brand that Erwin had gifted Armin all of those years ago. 
“I can make my amends with it. Even if it hurt my feelings. And hopefully that helps you make amends with Armin.” you state. 
“Where the fuck did you find this? I’ve been looking for this for a better part of the past year.” he states. 
“I found it this morning. And…I’ve eavedropped on one of your fights with Armin.” you state. 
“Nosy.” 
“Okay, I’ll just go return it.” you state. 
“No!” Eren states, quickly clutching his arms around the box as you laugh. 
Eren sighs. 
“Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.” Eren responds. 
“I think I have an idea.” you respond. 
Eren smiles, albeit halfheartedly, as he looks down at the box. 
“My turn. Unless you had more?” he murmurs. 
“No. Go ahead.” 
“The awards show. What do you think about it now?” Eren asks. 
You sigh. 
“What you were saying, it seems much more obvious now. That it was Historia and Jean there. That they were riling me up. Historia, she was already mad at you for what I said, for going against what we had as kids, and for Jean. It was personal. He basically felt like you had betrayed him and told me that. I suppose now that if Mikasa was there, she wouldn’t have let me go as far as I did.” you respond. 
“Mikasa wanted to come. Danny and Sareen didn’t let her. They knew for a fact she wouldn’t let you. She’d want to be there for you in the way you needed. Probably put my face on a dart board and talk shit about me.” Eren muses. 
“I would have preferred that over what I really did. But I remember that now. Danny and Sareen said that her hysterics weren’t conducive to the situation. And granted, Mikasa’s never short of being dramatic but…always calm when you need her. I can’t believe I forgot about that in the moment. And Sukuna, he never gave his opinion. He just told me to make my own decisions and that he would support me, which makes more sense in hindsight too.” you respond. 
Eren nods in response, content with your answer. 
“Why did you cry when I was singing the grudge?” you ask. 
“Why did you cry when you were singing the grudge?” Eren asks. 
“The fight we had. You told me beforehand that..that I didn’t have any faith in you like you did in me. It was the first time that it might have crossed my mind. That you didn’t mean anything that you said and…and then I was singing a song about how I’d never forgive you. And you were crying during it. It pretty much sold me on the fact that I was right.” you respond. 
Eren nods. 
“For me, it was the fact that you were playing the piano. On your own. I was waiting for years to see you do it on your own, to take that step and be confident in your own abilities. You’ve always been great and all I wanted to do in that moment was to stand there. Tell you I told you so. And I couldn’t.” 
“What did you mean? When you said I didn’t have faith in you?” you murmur. 
“I was just really upset in that moment, Y/N. I didn’t-” 
“I want to know.”
Eren sighs. 
“You thought right. I was upset that you believed it so blindly. That you believed an edited interview of me. And what I had said that night, which you had every right to believe. I was just-” 
“It’s okay.” 
“I wasn’t mad at you. And I’m still not. I regretted it after I said it.” 
“Okay. I appreciate the grace you give me, Eren.” 
“Nothing you haven’t given me first.” Eren responds. 
You both avert your eyes from one another. 
Anything else?” Eren asks. 
“I guess not. Is there something you want to tell me?” you state. 
“I want to know what you were doing in the years that I wasn’t with you.” 
“In the house?” 
“No. No, when you were with Danny and Sareen. After-after we said fishbowl on the rooftop.” Eren states. 
You sigh. 
“I feel fucking stupid about it all in hindsight.” you respond, warm tears filling your eyes.
Eren’s quick to notice, like he always is, as he pulls you closer to him and you lean your head against his shoulder. 
“Hey. You’re okay, just take a breath-” Eren whispers. 
“I did three albums with world tours back to back. Movies in the hiatuses.” you state. 
“And?” Eren murmurs. 
“And I didn’t take a break once. I-I only realized when I locked myself in that godforsaken house how much time I had lost. How much of it I swam through when I came back and Falco was basically grown. I left him when he was barely a teenager and then he was just…this whole person. Comforting me when that’s always been my job. That Jean and Mikasa had moved so far in their relationship that they were actually going to get married. That we all fucking grew up.” you respond. 
You wipe your nose. 
“I realized really quickly that I wasn’t making money off of the Lucky One. I had spent that entire first year, not even thinking about you or anything else, because I was just fighting desperately behind the sidelines to get them back.” you state. 
Eren snorts. 
“I think when you stopped fighting is when I started. We had won the lawsuit at that point and I-I was told to negotiate for whatever I wanted.” Eren responds. 
“How did you know?” 
“Danny and Sareen. At the awards show, they had made it a point to me. That it was always their goal. I had been inquiring about it ever since then and…the second you released the Lucky One and disappeared I knew they were going to do something. I tried to negotiate the entire album back, money and all, but all I could get you was the rights. And I’ve talked to Niccolo about it. You can re-record them or-or we can do something else but-” 
“Thank you.” you state. 
You look back at the ocean. You don’t say something for sometime, which fills Eren’s stomach with an overwhelming amount of discomfort as he rests his head against his knees. But you can’t even stomach it. How you’re supposed to thank Eren for what he did. For what he’s always done. 
For how consistent he’s always been. When it comes to you. 
“What are you thinking?” he asks. 
You look over at him, or more precisely, at the little tattoo on his bicep as you open up his arms and rest your fingers against it. He mimics your motions, smiling at the little inked skin. 
“I was half convinced you were going to get it removed.” Eren states. 
“I almost did.” you respond. 
He laughs. 
“I always thought it was stupid. That you wanted to be the ocean when I thought you were the moon. You know, like a light shining on a dark night? That’s always what I thought you were for me.” you state. 
“It feels like there’s more to that statement.” Eren responds. 
“Can you see the moon right now?” you ask. 
Eren looks up at the overcast sky, the clouds dense above. 
“No.” 
“But you can see the ocean. All the time, whenever you want. The waves pull back, but they always return.” you state. 
Eren looks up at you, in confusion. 
“I don’t follow.” 
“I’m saying you picked right. I am the moon. Fickle. Unreliable. I disappear at the first sign of a storm. But the ocean…” 
You look over at your right, to the waves crashing. 
“It’s one of the only things in nature that keeps its promise. Keeps crashing back on the shore, against the pull.” 
Eren’s eyes falter. 
“You had every right to do what you did.” Eren responds. 
“I know that. But it was always you and me. From the start. I was the one who lost sight of that when I let you go.” you state. 
Eren swallows hard. 
“Why did you do that?” he asks, his voice in the smallest whisper. 
The fact that he even asks shatters something in you, into tiny little pieces. That you had sown so much doubt into him. 
“I…I had so much faith in us. What we had…it came to us so easily. Snuck on me so quickly that I took it for granted. I figured that if I had to let you go for sometime, you’d come right back to me. The same way that we were before.” 
“You were nineteen.” Eren states. 
“I was stupid. Because that’s not how you saw it.” 
“No. No, it-” 
“Don’t lie. You thought I left you.” 
“It’s water under the bridge.” Eren responds. 
You sigh. 
“Eren. Eren, if you felt that way, why didn’t you say that? I- I fucking adored you. I would have pulled back and said no the second that you had asked me not to. Surely you must have known that I would move any mountain for you?” you ask. 
Eren looks at you, the look in his eyes faltering as you realize. 
“Eren. Did you know that I would do anything for you? Did you know that I loved you as much as you loved me?” you ask. 
“I did.” Eren responds, the lightest hint of disbelief in your voice. 
You pull him closer, cupping his face in your hands. 
“Eren. You were my person. I loved you so, so much and you didn’t even know?” you ask, warm tears filling your eyes. 
“It wasn’t anything about you. It was me. It’s my fault that I didn’t think that.” Eren whispers. 
“Don’t. Don’t fucking say that, Eren.” you respond, pulling away from him as the hot, embarrassing tears pour down your eyes. 
At the fact that Eren’s so willing to forgive. So quick to look past the fact that you took the love that he had given you for granted. That you hadn’t appreciated it, and him, half as much as you should have and now it was never going to be the same. That he was so insecure in himself, that he couldn’t accept the love that you had given him. And that you didn’t even notice. 
Eren sits quietly at your side, making no move to comfort you this time. All you can see are his green eyes, looking directly into yours, almost like he’s waiting. Mulling over the exact words that he has to say to you. And the fact that he’s sitting there trying to comfort you, when he should be cursing your name, makes it ten times worse. 
“Y/N.” he murmurs. 
“No.” 
“Y/N.” he repeats, softer this time. 
You shake your head as he scoots closer to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands as he gives you a smile. He wipes away your constant stream of tears with his thumbs, as his face washes over in the softest, most comforting look. 
“You know that stupid, cheesy as fuck saying? That you can’t give love to someone else if you don’t have it for yourself?” 
“Eren.” 
“It’s not a bad thing to give yourself kindness. To give nineteen year old you grace the same way I give twenty-one year old me grace.” he whispers. 
“I was old enough to know better.” 
“And so was I. But your life isn’t meant to be a punishment. Neither is mine. We’re not supposed to sit here and never forgive ourselves over something what’s already happened.” he whispers. 
“I picked wrong. You- I let you leave, Eren.” you cry. 
Eren smiles. 
“Am I gone?” Eren asks. 
You sigh. 
That’s not the way you meant it. 
Eren smiles, tilting your face up in his clutches as he gives your cheek a little squish. 
“Answer my question, Margaret.” 
“Why do you call me Margaret?” 
“You first. Am I gone?”
“Yes.” you deadpan.
Eren leans closer to you, noses almost touching, as he whispers. 
“I’m right here. I’ve spent far too much time without you. Don’t tell anyone but…you’re kind of my favorite person, ever. You’re always going to be my best friend. And as long as you don’t send me away again, I’ll always be right here.” 
You sniffle. 
“I won’t tell anyone. There’s no one else to tell.” 
Eren smiles so wide, so bright at you repeating the same words you had used all those years ago to him, as he pulls you straight into a hug. You deflate straight into his arms, wrapping them around his torso as you inhale his biting, minty smell once more. 
“Wanna know why I call you Margaret?” he asks. 
“Please. I know for a fact that it’s not just some random name you picked.” 
Eren pulls back, a devious grin on his face. 
“Margaret is the name of the moon.” 
Of course. 
“...of Uranus.” he finishes. 
“Huh?” 
“Uranus. It’s the name of one of the moons of Uranus.” Eren repeats, emphasizing every last syllable. 
You can tell from the way he’s smiling that he’s incredibly pleased with himself. And it makes uou break out into a teary laugh. 
“You’re fucking with me.” 
“No, I’m not. All of Uranus’s moons are named after Shakespeare characters. And the first one that came to mind when we were having that talk out of all of them was Margaret.” 
“So you intentionally gave me a name based off of an anus?” 
“Not just any anus, Y/N. Ur-anus. It’s very significant to our relationship.” 
“Ew, Eren. Oh my god.” you respond, the two of you laughing as you look at him with disgust. 
“What?” 
“I can’t tell what’s worse. This or Hobo Eren.” 
“Hey.” 
“Nevermind. It’s definitely Hobo Eren. That’s an atrocity to humanity, Eren.” 
“Okay, okay. I get it. I’m horrendous” he responds, slightly shoving you in the side as you return the favor. 
“I’m so glad we’re on the same page. It’s been putting a real damper on our relationship.” you respond. 
Eren looks over at you and smiles. 
“Are there any dampers on our relationship now? For real?” Eren asks. 
You shake your head.
“No. But…you and me on the same side now. Always. You can’t keep secrets from me and-” 
“I won’t.” he responds, definitively. 
“Then no. No dampers. You and me till the end.” you respond. 
Eren smiles as you look back at the waves crashing and  you lean your head against his shoulder again. He softly murmurs into your hair. 
“Why do you call me Bruce? Yours had to be just as deliberate as mine.” he asks. 
“You don’t need to know. It’s not half as cute as yours.” you respond. 
“Well, nothing is as cute as Uranus unfortunatley.” 
“Naturally. I…um. You…you know that shark from Finding Nemo? That…that pretends to be friends with the fish and then tries to eat them?” you state, giving him a peachy smile. 
“No fucking way.” 
“I’m sorry!” you whine. 
“You’re so rude, Y/N L/N. I gave you a sweet, sentimental nickname and that’s how you repay me.” 
“You gave me Uranus, Eren.” 
“There is nothing more scared than my anus, Y/N. You know that.” 
“You’re so immature. You have the humor of a twelve year old.” you respond. 
“And you love it. One would argue that…that you enable this behavior from me. I’d never make these jokes if you didn’t think they were funny.” 
“You tell jokes based off of me?” you ask, sarcastically. 
“Yes. I want to see you laugh. You think I’m just out here saying stuff just to say it?” 
“You’re full of shit.” 
“And you’re not even half deserving of my anus.” Eren responds. 
You and Eren bicker back and forth. And the sun rises, straight through the patches of the clouds. 
On the two of you, together again.
--
next part linked here
an: MEOW
taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly-y-blog @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegonee @tee4str @ttokki @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @dreamy-carat @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv
pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3
333 notes · View notes
iluvsturn · 2 months
Text
not like that-c.s
Tumblr media
warning: sad then happy :)
a/n:send request !!
It can't end like this, 3 years of relationship, 3 years of joy, 3 years of love. And everything stopped and everything disappeared in 3 simple little words.
It's the worst thing that could have happened in 3 years despite all the arguments they had, everything settled the same day. But this time everything is different.
Their hearts are empty, everything is empty and gray around them. All these colors that surrounded them and intensified their love; gone into a spin.
Chris no longer leaves his room, he feels so guilty for having said three destructive words. The guilt is eating him from the inside. This girl he loved so much, for who he would give his own life, the girl for who he could give up everything, slipped through his fingers like sand.
His first girlfriend, the first girl he trusted completely..
Matt and Nick, his brothers, did everything to help him; take him out, meet new people...But nothing can repair what he destroyed.
y/n, on her part, is trying to move on she no longer goes on her phone to make sure she doesn't come across photos of them, she tries to go out and meet new people, but everything is too hard, nothing can repair what he has destroyed.
It's been 2 months now, 2 months without contact. Chris wants to call her, hug her, kiss her, tell her how sorry he is, how much he regrets everything.
y/n, her, is waiting for his message, all she wants is to be able to feel him close to her, to hear his laugh and contemplating how his eyes closed when he laughed. She only wants to receive a sorry that she desires so much.
-
"Chris we're eating, come on." Nick says from behind his brother's door. "I'm not hungry" he replies, like every time. "Chris please you're starting to scare us, you'll get over it "he continues.
The door opens suddenly, showing Chris, tired and thin from not eating anymore, only cans of pepsi lying on the ground.
“she is everything to me, I love her so much and I let her go,i’m the worst.”
A tear runs down his cheek as he climbs the stairs to the kitchen.
"chris, if you're in so much pain from losing her why aren't you doing anything about it? By staying in your room doing nothing you've been losing her more and more. I don't even think she’ll accept.It beens 2 months"
His words break him even more, losing her? forever? No, no he can't live without her, he can't let her go again.
“I’m calling her”
-
She watches her phone ring, the name chris❤️ which she still hasn't managed to change.
"are you going to answer?" asks stella, y/n's best friend.
the call ends.
“I think you two should talk.”
y/n nods, “i’ll call him again.”
he picks up directly,
“y/n?” his voice cracks,
“hi chris”
“y/n, my love, I’m so sorry I love you so much please I didn’t mean what I said”
“but you said it” she retorts.
An embarrassing silence falls between the two, feeling guilty for having said that, she speaks again.
“don’t you think we should talk about it, like, in real life?”
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes, is that okay?”
“hm”
-
Chris is in front of y/n's house, he's shaking and a ball of stress is forming in his stomach after sending a message that he was there.
y/n just put on her shoes and didn't do anything else, what's the point of preparing herself if it might be the very end with him?
He gets out of his car, his hands sweaty and his voice trembling. He feels so bad seeing her with one of his sweaters, this sweater that she only wears when she needs comfort but he isn't there for her, she says it's like he was there with her in his arms. But this sweater wasn't meant to be worn because of him.
"I feel like a fool for letting our argument tear us apart like this. With each day that passes, I realize how stupid I was to let you go. I regret every word I said. You were the light of my life, my rock, my source of happiness. Now that you're gone, not a moment goes by without me regretting our argument. I would give anything to go back and change things. Because I love you, you are essential to my life. I know words are not enough to erase the pain I have caused you, but I am begging you to give me another chance. I will do everything in my power to prove to you that I am sincere, that I am ready to change, to become a better man for you.I love you more than anything in the world,y/n. And I sincerely hope that you can forgive me one day.”
“I love you too, Chris.”
a source of hope returns to Chris as he hears his words fall from her mouth.
“you hurt me so much,and i’m still hurt, but I can’t, I can’t leave and forget you.”
he nods.
“I forgive you Chris”
She slowly approaches him. Without waiting he glues his lips to hers, they share a kiss that they have never shared before, a kiss filled with guilt, love and words that they cannot reach to say to each other.
They lift their heads but stay forehead to forehead.
"do you want to become my girlfriend again y/n?"
a huge smile forms on the face of the pretty y/n, a smile that chris wanted to see again.
“it never ended for me, chris”
and with that, they kiss like the first kiss they ever shared.
-haz🩷
214 notes · View notes
psychelis-new · 5 months
Text
pick a pile: "Yes or No?"
take a breath and think about a question of any type; then choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read your answer.
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.
(photos found on unsplash)
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
1 2 3 4 5 6
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 1
answer: yes even if it's not perfect, it doesn't mean it's necessarily bad: give it a try (trust your intuition). soon a news or someone may come to you, keep working on your happiness and definition of it. act for your own wellbeing first. keep planning. remember you always have a choice too, do not get trapped by yourself/your mind.
song: (everything I do) I do it for you | brian adams
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 2
answer: maybe you're not considering an aspect of this situation and it's probably what is keeping you stuck somewhere, not allowing you to see how related this is with another side of your story. change perspective, let go of self tormenting, try focusing on this other part to change your result and get rid of that block once and for all.
song: the end | jplnd
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 3
answer: no it's not the right time now. try to not stress over it too much and just focus on what you can actually control. balance your emotions and do not let them guide you. trust in fate, everything will get clearer at the right time. also, not all the offers and suggestions you get are good for you, pay attention. and take good care of you and how you cope with events.
song: die for you | the weeknd
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 4
answer: maybe keep healing yourself as your past is probably blocking you or wounding you still. nurture your wounds as they've never been and leave the past where it belongs. you're changing even if you cannot see it, you're being more you. keep going and don't let those little parts stop this amazing transformation happening inside of you. be hopeful and determined. love yourself for having put up with so much like you did.
song: yellow | coldplay
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 5
answer: yes let go, it's okay to enjoy and have fun. you don't have to only focus on the serious side. even if it's only one little happy thing, give it the right attention: do not let the other obligations of the day darken it. go with ease, especially on yourself, and remember that punishing yourself for being wrong or a mistake, it's not worth it. you already feel bad for it, no need to add further pain to the situation. it won't solve it. be nice and compassionate with you: you don't need yourself to be anything else than a friend.
song: amygdala | agust d
- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -
pile 6
answer: yes take a breath and stay balanced. i think a breakthrough may occur in your life and it will change things quite abundantly. you may be attracting love and success in your career/school too. take time to look inside and check what are your wishes/desires about. stop fighting with yourself and start working together with yourself. someone may guide you through (or you can ask for help to more knowledgeable people), do not stress too much.
song: true love waits | radiohead
201 notes · View notes
snowshinobi · 2 years
Text
you text me back and i have no clue what time it is. could be 3 minutes later, could be 3 weeks. that's the nature of this conversation, these arrows buried in sun-soaked underbrush. i'll crash through the leaves to find them, pull them up, unfurl their muddy messages, scratch my reply, fit it to my bow, shoot it back.
good night, your arrow says. i blink away the light. there are no clocks in this golden woods, in the sunset glow of talking with you. but it was night when you thought of me, and suddenly i want to know what a walk through your forest feels like. brush the needles with the backs of my hands. watch the darkness climb up my body. catch patterns in the stars twinkling through the branches.
good morning, i scratch in. pale light laps at my shoulders. it's morning as i think of you, feathers pressed to my cheek.
i let go.
13 notes · View notes
theoryofthevanquished · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
⁜ BartKon Playlist ⁜
teri bina sajana, dil bhi paraya lage hai re. ⁜ My Mind is a Stranger Without You - A.R. Rahman /// they are turning my head out, to see what I'm all about. keeping my head down, to see what it feels like now. but I have no doubt, one day we're gonna get out. ⁜ Lovers in Japan - Coldplay /// knocked out, but boy, you better come to. don't die, you know, the truth is some do. go write your message on the pavement. burn so bright, I wonder what the wave meant. ⁜ Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers // afsos hota hai, dil bhi yeh rota hai. sapne sanjota hai, pagla hua soche ye, hum the mile tum se na jaane kyun. ⁜ Tu Jaane Na - Atif Aslam /// and I just got broken, broken into two. still I call it magic when I'm next to you. ⁜ Magic - Coldplay /// and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies. when everything feels like the movies, yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive. ⁜ Iris - Goo Goo Dolls /// keh do keh har vakt mere mein, buniyad meri tum yun banke rahoge. keh do ke, meri raahon mein, haath mere to tum thame rahoge. aur udne lagoon main yun kahin, to zameen pe tum le aaoge. ⁜ Buniyaad - The Yellow Diary /// she is everything to me. the unrequited dream, a song that no one sings, the unattainable. she's a myth that I have to believe in. ⁜ Vermilion Pt. 2 - Slipknot
135 notes · View notes
jetskisonyourmoat · 29 days
Text
An old interview from 2007 ☺️
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[credit to Twitter user who took photos of the interview]
Transcript:
Coldplay in scarves and woolly mittens. The Libertines as Dickensian street urchins, and REM's Michael Stipe as um, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. The NME Christmas cover has an illustrious tradition of rock stars arsing around in their best dressing up clobber for a day Some need gentle coaxing, some need a raft of costume. based ideas sent over by our art team before theyll commit. Others, like this year's Christmas cover stars Arctic Monkeys, have planned the concept and hired the outfits even before our tentative email request has had time to settle in their manager's inbox. "We want to be evil elves," came the return message moments later. "Not naughty elves, not mischievous elves. EVIL ELVES.” Which is why, one Wednesday afternoon in late November, we find ourselves at a north London photo studio strapping dynamite sticks to reindeers, impaling others with giant shards of metal, hiding a bomb in a snowman's hat and handing Arctic Monkeys bassist Nick O'Malley a mallet and then standing back as he sends carefully wrapped gifts shattering across the room. Of course, there were the annual set of complications in trying to co-ordinate a photoshoot of this magnitude: Alex Turner requesting the ‘smacked-up elf’ look from the make up artist, but looking more like a cherubic waif with every ring of dark eyeshadow applied, Nick shunning the hired-in pixie boots in favour of his own toe-curling pointers ("from Prada, thank you very much") and a minor tussle over which band member was going to get their ears stuck on first. That and the endless flutes of champagne threatening to sabotage the interview scheduled for straight after the shoot (“I feel very light headed and unsteady on my feet, NME," says Alex, wobbling).
Eventually we manage to steer them to a corner of the room where a Dictaphone awaits. By this time Nick, Matt Helders and Jamie Cook's costumes are on coat hangers and they're back in civvies. Only Alex has opted to stay as an elf, at least as long as the interview lasts. It's a heated hour that will see them debate the big topics of the year, consider their own personal highlights (Nick. "Glastonbury. NME: And your defining Glasto 2007 moment? Nick "Er, headlining the fucker") and lowlights (Mike Reid RIP). Before all that though, there's the small matter of destroying Christmas 2007 for everyone. Your favourite worst nightmare before the festive season is about to be unleashed.
NME: Hello, Nice costumes.
Alex Turner: "Thanks. You might say we dress up too much, But really, what is too much? It's good to escape your own face for an hour.
Matt Helders: "It's easier to hide behind a costume, isn't it? I felt in good spirits up there though - I’m not sure I was really feeling evil enough.
So what's Arctic Monkeys squad of evil elves manifesto for ruining Christmas?
Jamie Cook: "Go out on Christmas Eve.
Alex: "I heard a terrible story about a friend who went out on Christmas Eve once. This lad got hammered and, you know when you're hungover and, like, your thoughts and your mouth aren't connected properly? Well, he was eating his Christmas dinner and his nan were wittering on as your nan does, and he thought to himself. Oh, shut up Nan, you cunt. Then he looked up and everyone was looking at him and his dad went. I think you'd better just take your dinner upstairs and eat in your bedroom. He’d said it out loud (The table collapses in laughter).
Matt: "His nan was a cunt, though."
Alex: "So there's a way to wreck Christmas - call your nan a cunt. Actually. you should leave that out cos my nan buys NME more than my mum. My nan files her NMEs!
Matt: "So our real answer would be... I dunno, burn everyone's house down.
Alex: "Or, you know those Santa’s that come on a truck to estates and all the kids come to see them? Maybe you could hijack one of them as another Santa then rip your beard off
Matt: "....and punch the kids. Or the dad. There's nothing worse than beating kids dads up in front of the kids!"
Alex: "(Nodding) Nothing worse.
Moving on. What does a traditional Christmas entail round at Alex Turner, the only child's, house?
Alex: "Quality Street. That's the only tradition around mine. Other than that, just looking at the phone thinking. Can I ring them (points at other Monkeys) on Christmas Day or is that out of order?'
Matt: "Yeah. it is. (Holding hands up to each ear to mimick a two-way phone conversation between Alex and himself 'Do you wanna come round?' 'Al, it's Christmas Day. My nan's here.' 'Yeah. but I'm just sat here at home...' "
Alex: "We've been discussing how there's nothing to do on Christmas Day and maybe having some kind of party this year. Fancy dress, obviously. We were talking about having some sort of Ultimate Warrior party."
Matt: "Wrestlers weren't it?"
Alex: "Ah yes, wrestlers."
What are you doing for New Year's Eve?
Matt: "Last year was crap. I DJed in Sheffield at midnight. The first song everyone in that room heard going into 2007 was 'Boom! Shake The Room, which was a good feeling"
Alex: "That's something to be proud of. This year we've got nothing planned. We all go out together though; we were at that club."
Matt: "It rarely works, New Year's Eve. It's always such a fucking build-up."
Alex: Everyone's like, '(Whining voice) What are we doing now?' And then it fucking snows, doesn't it?"
Um, not where I'm from...
Alex: "It always snows round where we are"
Jamie: "It's not snow, it's sleet."
Alex: "I remember walking home last year in it and no taxis stopping for us."
Jamie: "Yeah, 'Im not taking you to High Green, mate."
Nick O'Malley: "I booked a hotel last year in Sheffield city centre and just stayed there."
Alex: 'Maybe well stay in this year. See Jools' Hootenanny and that."
What New Year's resolutions are you going to make?
Alex: "I want to learn how to cook food. I want to do a good curry."
Nick: "I want to get to a level of fitness synonymous with that of a boxer - just so I don't get out of breath walking up the stairs"
Jamie: "I want to grow a beard. I’m not shaving after today."
Alex: "Otherwise I'm allowed to punch him in the nose."
Matt: "I want to learn to do a back somersault and a front somersault."
Jamie: "Oh, and be able to dive into shallow water from a height and not hurt yourself."
Alex: "Yeah, flips, juggling. unicycling. I think were all always looking for improvement in our overall balance."
The coming year dealt with, it's time to turn the clock back and get Arctic Monkeys' take on the headlines that shook 2007. For this, Alex takes a more noticeably back-seat role in the conversation especially when the spectre of political allegiance rears its head and he actually goes completely mute. According to his press officer afterwards, having seen Arctic Monkeys branded Gordon Brown's favourite new band before he became Prime Minister, Alex is reluctant to say anything that any of the political parties could use to their advantage. From here on in then, Nick'n'Matt take over from Aln'Matt as the comedy double act. Meanwhile, Jamie will reserve his sole contribution to the conversation for an animated outburst about social networking sites in the workplace.
This Christmas marks the one-year anniversary of James Brown's death. Did he mean much to Arctic Monkeys?
Nick: "Yeah, we were big fans of James Brown."
Alex: "The first ever gig we did, we walked onstage to 'The Payback. And at college I had a pair of jeans I'd written on in red marker ‘I've got soul and I'm super bad!
Jamie: "He did as well."
Nick: "It was one of those things when you heard, you didn't want to believe it. A bit like Steve Irwin."
Alex: "Or Mike Reid. (Genuinely moved) Mike Reid, that really hit me that."
Nick: 'I don't think there was a big enough fuss about that as there should have been."
Matt: "I tell you when Ill be dead upset- and I don't really want to say it cos he's not dead yet, but I might as well get it all out -and that's when Bruce Forsyth dies."
Alex: "(Gravely) Ah, Forsyth."
Matt: "Cos I know I'm going to see it.. all being well my end."
Nick: "Touch wood."
Alex: "Cover the holes!"
Nick: "(To NME] Do you know where that expression comes from?"
Alex: "Apparently there's these little people who live in the wood. Like these little fairies that bring things that you say to life. So you cover the holes so they can't get out... Yeah, Mike Reid. I remember reading about that in the airport.
Then there was the Celebrity Big Brother race row early in the year. Did you watch any of it?
Nick: "We made a point of watching that. We wanted to watch where what's-her-name got kicked out. That said it all, and they didn't have any crowd there"
Alex: "Oh, Jade."
Jamie: "I thought Jade Goody and the one that was getting abused by her.
Matt: "Shilpa Shetty."
Jamie: "That's right. I thought they both played it bad."
Alex: "Jo from S Club 7 can fuck off I’d send her to jail Why? I just don’t like her; I think she came across horrible."
Nick: (Changing tact) “I texted one of those numbers to find out about touch wood (Reaches for beeping phone and starts reading) Touch wood is said to come from a mid-18th century story in which children being chased who touched wood were said, to be immune from being caught"
Matt: "I don't believe that. This has been wrong once before and thats when texted, to ask who's headlining Glastonbury and it said Eric Clapton. (Pumping chest out defiantly) It weren't - it were us!"
Of course the biggest music story of the first half of the year was Keith Richard revealing he'd snorted his father…
Jamie: "(Laughing) His ashes weren’t it?
Yep. What's the weirdest thing you've ever snorted?
Matt: "An eraser. That's not true actually I've witnessed it but never done it I wish I had. I didn't live enough at school”
What did you think of Keith's revelations?
Matt: "I think it was shortly after he said we were shit. He said something like the ["Load of cunts. load of cunts. Posers, rubbish was how Keef actually described the Monkeys, alongside Bloc Party and The Libertines in the same NME interview.
Keith said he didn't like The Libertines who reformed for one night only in April, with Carl Barât joining Pete Doherty onstage at London's Hackney Empire. Did you care?
Alex: "Yeah, I was interested in that. It was a 'should've been there moment, I imagine.”
Matt: "I’d have liked to have seen that.”
Nick: "They're one of the bands that a very young us were really into."
Would you like them to get back together permanently?
Alex: "(With just enough sarcasm) The greatest hits album were enough for me”
Jamie: "They didn't sling it out though did they? It was the label."
Nick: "I read something where Pete was saying he didn't even know it had come out.”
What about the new Babyshambles album? Were you fans of that?
Nick: "I’ve only heard a few songs, but the were good tracks."
Alex: "I liked it and I liked him on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross.”
Nick: "He seemed like a nice gentleman"
Alex: "I met him once. I was at this party in this club this time last year when we were recording, and someone who I’d never met said Oi! Come here and led me through this door and there was a studio and in this studio he was stood there with his top off."
Nick: "Topless?!"
Alex: "It were surreal. For a start there's a studio in a club, then there’s Pete Doherty and then he's got his top off he’s taller than you’d think.”
Matt: "I remember meeting him, as a fan actually, at a Strokes gig at Alexandra Palace I had my picture took with him and that’s when I realised he were tall."
In May, offices and schools across the UK began blocking students from using Facebook.
Alex: "I’ve never even been on Facebook"
Jamie: "(Antagonised) You know what? That’s fair enough if they should be workin’ or learning, not making take friends"
Matt: "What's the difference between…”
Jamie: "(Raising voice) No, but fair enough! You're fucking working!"
Matt: "Um, what's the difference between Facebook and MySpace?”
Please tell me one of the Arctic Monkeys knows what Facebook or MySpace are...
Alex: "I've never looked on them."
Jamie: "I haven't."
Matt: “I know what MySpace looks like, cos other people have shown me theirs, but none of us have actually got one.”
Are there any sites you do frequent?
Matt: "I don't mind The Hype Machine. I go on to search for remixes before they get heard properly."
Nick: "I got really into Wikipedia at one point. I read loads of things about joe Meek and Shack"
Alex: "He’ll read all these facts then casually throw them into conversation the next day."
Matt: "Askjolene.com is the biggest adult search engine in the world.. Just throwing that in there"
Gordon Brown - a big fan of yours, apparently - took over from Tony Blair this summer as Britain's 51st Prime Minister. How's he done so far?
Nick: "I've not really noticed any changes."
Matt: "It's neutral for me."
Who will you be voting for next time?
Matt: "I need to start evaluating, reading all their manifestos."
Nick: "I’ll Wikipedia them all and make a decision that way.”
The UK smoking ban kicked in on July 1. Has it bothered you?
Matt: "Nick's the only one of us that smokes."
Nick: "Oi, my mum reads this!"
Matt: "(Back-tracking hastily) Like I said, Nick doesn't even smoke."
Nick: "I agree with it, even though 1 do smoke. I think it's a good thing."
Alex: "You get weird smells now, I reckon."
Matt: "We were reading about that place where they give out free deodorant because you smell people more now in bars."
Nick: "It's a good way to meet new people outside I've found. And it someone's getting on your nerves you can just say. 'Right, Im going outside for a cigarette."
Alex: "I think it will become less strict in a few years. 'Cos like in New York they've had it a bit longer and they turn a blind eye to it some places there now.”
In August we had another music legend pass away; Tony Wilson.
Alex: "That were a right shock. I'm not a huge fan of the Manchester music scene. but enough for his death to mean a lot."
Nick: "I always imagine him as Alan Partridge, y know! Well, Steve Coogan in 24 Hour Party People. That's where I first got to know of Tony Wilson."
Alex: "(Looking glum) What happened in September, NME?"
You can have the Diana death inquest or Klaxons winning the Mercury Prize.
Alex: "Klaxons winning the Mercury Prize."
Matt: "You could say Klaxons winning the Mercury Prize if you want, or you could say us losing the Mercury Prize"
How did you feel about that?
Matt: "It were alright. It were a bit of a dent on my life."
Nick: "Well done, Klaxons. I wanted Dizzee Rascal to win it."
Matt: "'Yeah, Maths + English'"
Nick: "I thought it was Winehouse's though."
Alex: "But then I think Klaxons' album is more of an album than Amy Winehouse's album. Like, Amy Winehouse's album had some good tunes an' that. But I think as a thing, you can't really argue with Klaxons."
What did you think about Radiohead shocking the music industry with the way they released In Rainbows' this autumn?
Alex: "We heard Radiohead's riveting radio broadcast on the way home last night."
Matt: "I nearly fell asleep at the wheel!"
Alex: "I were nudging him! 'Keep your eyes on the road!"
Nick: "I think it was quite a clever idea for them. I think it works well for them cos their fans are the type of fans who’d probably really be into that concept."
Is it something you'd ever do?
Alex: "Nah."
Matt: "That'll be memorable 'cos they'd gone out of their way to do something different, but I don't think we need to. Obviously they don't need to either. They can afford to do stuff like that."
Alex: "They've done it now. You only need to do an experiment like that once. I don't feel like it was designed to change anything"
Matt: "They said themselves, 'It's not a template' See! I was listening last night."
Then at the end of the year, Led Zeppelin finally played their long-awaited reunion show in London. Did you apply for tickets?
Matt: "Nope. I would have gone if late Led Zep drummer] John Bonham was still alive."
Nick: "Oh, Matt."
Matt: "I'm not that bothered by them. It's not that big a deal."
Jamie: "Nah, it really is! (Laughing) Thats why a lot of people are going."
Nick: "I had a phase of being a big Zep fan. I remember I had a perlod of about six months thinking they were the bee's bollocks."
Which brings us right up to the end of the year. What great truths have Arctic Monkeys learned in 2007?
Nick: "We learned that we're really into finding out where expressions came from. So we learned where 'fill your boots' came from - it's where old, er-”
Matt: "Cavaliers."
Nick: "Yes, Cavaliers!"
Matt: "They'd get their place at the bar and once they were there they wouldn't want to lose it, so they'd piss straight into their boots so they could carry on drinking. They had big boots on, like. That's it. There's our great truths.”
Or are they? Can we trust anything that comes out of the mouths of Satan's Little Helpers? Perhaps it's all just an evil plot to make us urinate on our own footwear this Christmas. Or go on festive arson rampages. Or cause expletive-induced coronaries in the elderly. Whatever, Arctic Monkeys certainly wish you all a very scary a Christmas.
69 notes · View notes
gadriezmannsgirl · 1 year
Text
Until Forever -P.G
The long awaited second part of "SINCE FOREVER" is here now! HOPE YOU LIKE THIS, FEEDBACK IS APPREACIATED!
Read part 3 here!
Songs I listened to: Me, Myself and I - 5SOS, Lie To Me - 5SOS, Forever - Lewis Capaldi, Bruises - Lewis Capaldi, I Love You - Little Mix, Nobody Like You - Little Mix, Only You - Little Mix, What I Put You Through - Conor Maynard, Over Again - One Direction, De Marzo a Junio - Gonza Silva, All In - Here at Last, Airplanes - B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams, Impossible - Shontelle, Diamonds - Rihanna, Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood, Yellow - Coldplay, Too Good At Goodbyes - Sam Smith and Sin Señal - Quevedo.
Warnings: Angst, the long lenght this fic has is killing☠️... Part 3?
Summary: You are moving on from your mistake meanwhile Pablo is realizing his own.
Tumblr media
January, 2023
It has been four months since that day. Four months which you haven’t seen Pablo. Four months of misery for you. And also for him.
When you left his apartment that day, a sickening feeling got into his stomach and it didn’t go away with anything he tried, his hands were shaking and his mind was running wild. He couldn’t concentrate on anything besides you, your confession, your sad expression and your leaving.
He knew that you asked him for time. But he couldn’t give that to you. He wanted you to know he still had you present in his life and hoping that you had him on yours too. And you sadly did.
You were absolutely a wreck for the first month. Not going outside unless it was for grocery shopping and Uni. Until the second month arrived.
Pedri, who had been your personal cheerleader, picked you up one day, got you a nice outfit and made you get in it, for you to go out with him in a friendly date where Ansu and Balde, joined you and ate everything they normally couldn’t or wouldn’t, because of their diet, but they decided than seeing you happy and like your old self was worth some calories more.
He even made you change Gavi’s contact name on your phone, to help your process get quicker and made you forget about his constant texting.
From that moment on, you started going out, you missed having a good time with the people you loved, with your friends and family, and not necessarily accompanied of Pedri, you went out with your girl friends, you Uni group, groups from other degrees at your Uni that you were close with. You were back.
Of course, you missed him. Terribly. Often at nights, you would scroll down on his messages and see what updates he has been giving you
Pablo Páez Ansu fell on his butt today, you would’ve laughed your ass off
Pablo Páez I made a happy salad *Photo* I hope you’re doing good, I’ve been better…
Pablo Páez Xavi keeps asking for you to tie my shoelaces, he keeps saying I don’t know how to do them
Pablo Páez Practice went well
Pablo Páez I just ate a kilo of bananas.  I won’t die, right?
Pablo Páez It’ll sound impressive but I just won Pedri on FIFA. Your gaming lessons paid off Now, I have to try and win you. He told me you were doing fine and I’m glad. I can’t wait for us to reconnect again
Pablo Páez De Jong said he missed having you around on practice I agreeded with him
Pablo Páez Pedri just ate his banana from the bottom to the top, you’re gonna kill him?
And many more of those but still, you choosed not to reply any of them, only really “talking” to him when the World Cup started, when he scored his first goal during it and when they lost against Morocco also you had texted him on Christmas and New Years.
Other times? You were ghosting him.
It was hell for him.
The first month of you doing that, for Pablo it was horrible. He couldn’t concentrate at practices; he messed up great plays, the passes weren’t precise, at games he was angrier and aggressive than usual, he wanted desperately for you to talk to him, Pedri tried to talk him out of it but the youngster snapped at his best male friend.  Only to come back to him a few minutes later apologizing.
Pablo thought that with time he could get over it, but no. Four months after and you were still on his mind and the anxious feeling was bigger and bigger on his chest.
He started to realize something, he felt awful, destroyed, sad and was mad at himself, he cried and cried to sleep that day for being too stupid and idiot to realize it
Yes, during WC, he had mastered a way of concentrating at practices and games but you were still on his mind. Always.
He was extremely angry, disappointed and sad to hear that you wouldn’t be there with him at his first WC, but still understood, already imagining the rest of his performances where you would be there cheering on for him and only him, the loudest as you have always have done.
In your defense, you did try your best but Uni got up to you and you weren’t done by the time it started, you couldn’t leave Spain even if you tried your best.
But, you haven’t properly seen each other since that day. And it was the first time you were going to. In Arabia Saudi for La Supercopa España, the Clásico. Barcelona vs. Madrid.
Pedri had invited you to come and you being a culer and the greatest friend, didn’t waste any time and asked permission from your parents to fly with the González.
“Is Samuel coming too?” Pedri asked with a cheeky smile
“¡Cállate!” He laughed seeing you blush
Samuel, is one of the guys that attends to your Uni but he’s doing a different degree than yours. During the last weeks of November and the first’s ones of December he had been asking you to hang out alone and you accepted. You definitely liked him.
He was cute, really cute and pretty. He had light green eye color, he was one head taller than you, blonde wavy haired and he had the most beautiful dimples at both sides of his smile; he was careful, paid attention to your needs, to whatever you were saying and remembered the smallest things you said randomly, he was funny and he never failed to amaze you.
But still, he wasn’t Pablo.
“Pedri, no lo sé” You had said
“This is your chance. It’s not like you might end up married to him anyway! Or you will… Who knows? Don't take it as a rebound kind-of thing. But maybe you can forget about Pablo, reconnect your friendship and at the same time have a lovely relationship with a guy who’s clearly into you”
And that’s how you started dating Samuel. And that’s also how you got into the present day.
“But you know he will” You spoke
“Gotta start making up the whole ‘Older-brother’ talk thing”
“Please, don’t scare him away. He’s really nice, I like him” You immediately said making Pedri laugh out loud while shaking his head a little. When a message pulled up in your screen.
Pablo Páez Are you coming to the Supercopa España? I know we aren’t in the best terms but I would love to see my favorite girl cheering for me on a live game… It’s been a while since you’ve done that.
“What’s up?”
“Pablo’s asking me if I’m going to the Supercopa” You said showing the message to Pedri who had been playing FIFA with you for about an hour ago
Pedri shrugged his shoulders “You wanna tell him?”
“I wanna surprise him” Silence filled the room
“You know even if he tries to hide it” Pedri started “, he’s not doing fine. He misses you a lot. A whole lot” You sighed
“I miss him too” You nodded sadly “I shouldn’t have said anything”
“No. You should have and you did. Feelings are the best when they’re being let out”
“But at what cost? I ruined my friendship with him and it’s not something you can easily go at it again. It’ll take me so much time to forget about those feelings I have for Pablo, Pedri. Maybe he feels guilty, awkward, I don't know... It’ll take a lot of time of being at that level we were once. You know it. I know it. Hell, even Pablo knows it. But it’s too hard being all in one day and suddenly stop being there”
“But you will do” Pedri said putting a hand on your thigh “I fully believe you will get, both of you, your feelings straight and keep on with that beautiful friendship you both have” Pedri nodded smiling lightly “I still think he’s in love with you but hasn’t realized”
“I still don’t think he is but who cares now?” You shrugged your shoulders  
“I’m just afraid he’ll realize it when it’s too late to try anything” Your eyes moved to Pedri’s as you both stared at each other in silence
“If” You start pausing to take a deep breath “If he does have feelings for me” You said slowly “I hope he realizes them quickly” Your phone dinged once more making you part your eyes from Pedri
A light smile made its way to your face seeing Samuel’s name pop up on your screen
Samu✨💖 Walking down the street, I saw a cute puppy. It reminded me of Aladdin, hope he’s feeling better. PS: I got him some treats for tomorrow when I see him. And don’t worry, I also got you a little present, couldn’t forget about you.
You sighed watching those two names on your home screen “Because I’m really liking Samuel and it’ll be hard for Pablo if I move on”
“Hard as in?”
“As in completely erasing myself from his life for a long and indeterminate amount of time, until I’m entirely happy and healed” Your eyes locked with Pedri’s as both of you sighed
“Do whatever you feel better doing, bonita” Pedri said slowly and in a low tone “Just know I’m gonna be here for you, always”
________
“Y/N!” Belén, Pablo’s mom said making you turn your head towards her with a smile on your face
“Belén!” You exclaimed happy to see the olderly woman approaching her to hug her tightly
“¡Que te has desaparecido, niña!” (It’s been a while, baby!) You laughed lightly
“I know” You whine “Y lo siento muchísimo. Es que he estado un poco ocupada con mis cosas en la Uni, Pablo ha estado ocupado en los entrenos y no hemos tenido mucho tiempo juntos desde hace un tiempito” (And I’m truly sorry. I’ve been so busy with College, Pablo has been busy with trainings and we haven’t spend time together in a while) You tried to come up with a little lie but you knew better
“I know that. Pablo told me what happened” You sighed a little “It must have been really hard for you, my dear”
“A lot” You whispered sadly “I just thought… For a second, he would feel the same”
“We thought so too. You acted like a couple. Pablo, Aurora and I actually thought you were already together” You smiled sadly at the thought of that “How’d you handled it?”
“Pretty bad in the first month but Pedri dragged me out of my house and I’ve slowly come back into what I was” She smiled grabbing your hand “And Pablito?”
She sighed “I think Pedri must have told you, hadn’t he?” You nodded lightly “He still isn’t taking it too well. Sometimes I catch him looking through your photos together” You sighed feeling bad for your best friend “He was way too moody during the World Cup”
“I can only imagine” You both laughed lightly “I was busy with Uni, it wasn’t a lie” You began “… But I also wasn’t ready to face him; I mean… I’m barely starting to get over him with a very few baby steps. Pedri invited me but I came here to surprise him actually, he doesn’t know I’m here, I told him I would try and do my best to come and I can sense he got angry at me. I have never missed one of his matches and to miss all these…”
“It took a toll on him” She ended as you nod lightly
“I do miss him a lot and besides everything I don’t want him to think we’re done. Because we aren’t. I just need myself time” You explained “And I wanna start making things right, he doesn’t love me” You said laughing without humor “And I’ve got to accept that even if I don’t like to. But that doesn’t mean I won’t stop being there for him. And I’m here to prove that to him. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend but I’m not quitting on our friendship”
Belén said nothing but hug you tightly “Pablo does love you, dear”
“Not in the way I would love him to”
“There’s no one better for him than you” You shook your head disagreeing with her
“I’m not his person, Belén” And with that you broke the hug
“He hasn’t realized”
You were tired of hearing that.
“And I don’t think he will because I’m just not it for him. I cannot force him. He may be sad at the fact I was in love with him, that he broke me unconsciously and that he might lose me as his best friend but he doesn’t see me like that”
“Y/N” She began when you felt an arm wrap around your waist, you turn around to face Samuel with two water bottles
“Me he perdido de regreso. Todo se ve azul, rojo y blanco” (I got lost on my way back. Everything is blue, red and white colors) You laugh lightly accepting the water
“Thank you so much, Samu” You kissed his cheek, right on where his dimples show making him, pull you closer to him.
“Disculpa, ¿Interrumpí algo?” (I’m sorry, I interrupted something?) He asked feeling a bit guilty
You turned to Belén who was looking at you with a light smile.
“Not at all, hijo” She said
“Samu, she’s Belén, my best friend’s mom” You introduced her taking a deep breath “Belén, he’s Samuel Carnevale, my boyfriend” You watched at how her face fell a bit but quickly covered it up
“Nice to meet you, miss”
“Igualmente cariño” (Likewise, dear) She said slowly nodding
“Y/I, want me to save you the seat?” You nod eagerly to hear Belén’s thoughts
“He looks like a nice lad” She said when he left you again, you nod
“He is” You mumble
“I’m happy you’re moving on” She said, you felt relieved to hear those words “Still a bit sad I’m not going to be your mom-in-law” She laughed lightly as you smiled without showing your teeth
“She can still marry me” You heard Aurora say from behind her mom’s back
“When’s the wedding?” You replied watching them laugh. Aurora stepped over to hug you as you hugged her back tightly
“My brother is stupid”
“Don’t say that” You defended him “It’s not his fault” You shrugged your shoulders letting go of her
“He seems like a nice guy” She looked over at Samuel who was laughing with Fernando, Pedri’s older brother
“He is” You nodded with a smile
“I hope everything works out for you, Y/I” Aurora said “And hopefully we’ll see you more around in the house. Pablo isn’t the only one who misses you”
“I’ll try, cariño” You said gripping her arm a bit “It was lovely seeing you again, we must hang out later” You say ready to go. Both of them nodded hugging you once more
And with that you walked back towards Sam and Fer, feeling all kind of emotions thanks to their words and making up something in your mind for when you see Pablo.
You couldn’t keep on with your thoughts because the game had started, the tension was feeling in the air, it was the final of La Supercopa, both teams wanted to win it and only one could be the one who raised it and proclaiming the champion title.  And you wanted so badly to be Barcelona that one
Robert had the ball on his feet, he was dribbling among the players and into the penalty section of the Madrid, when he passed the ball to Gavi who hit it and the ball went inside the net. A roar of cheers, applauses and screams were heard across the stadium, the Barcelona fans cheering in happiness as they took the lead on the board.
 Gavi grabbed his shirt and kissed it, his signature celebration, his teammates went over to him and cheered with him, Pedri high fived him and hugged him and he must have told him something because after their hug Gavi’s eyes dance across the stadium until they landed on you.
His smile grew bigger and blew you a kiss while pointing at you, he also went ahead and did your initial. You smiled clapping and cheering louder for him.
At minute 45, Robert scored once more with an assist of Gavi and in the second time at minute 69, Pedri scored with the board on 3 for them and 0 for Madrid. The final result was 1-3, meaning Barcelona had won.
The player’s family went down, you shyly made your way towards the pitch as well but feeling extremely proud for your boys.
The first one you saw was Ansu and you threw yourself at him, laughing and cheering on the win for a few seconds before you saw Balde, Araujo and Lewy, you congratulated them as well.
When you saw Pedri, he opened his arms and you ran towards him
“¡YO SABÍA QUE GANARÍAN!” (I knew you guys would win) You yelled in excitement as Pedri hugged you tightly “You did it and I’m so proud of you” You kissed his sweaty cheek several times as he rocked you both side to side “That goal was amazing, Pepi”
“Gracias, bonita. It felt amazing to score” You smiled widely
You hadn’t seen Pablo and you were having an intern battle of seeing him, congratulating him and at the same time not do it.
“You look really happy” Samuel said grabbing your hand in his as your eyes roamed around for Gavi
“I am happy. Not only my club won but also my best friends did. It feels like a dream come true” You said looking at him with a smile on when you turned your head you saw him, he was hugging his sister
“Go and say hello to him” Samuel said kissing your cheek “I’ll be next to you”
Letting go of Samuel’s hand, you walked until being two meters away from him, Belén saw you and pointed at Gavi to turn around, when he did, he was confused until his eyes were on you.
His expression fell a bit before he let a smile out, he turned around to walk but when you started walking too, he started jogging and soon running until, you doing the same and eventually you crashed into each other.
You couldn’t lie. It felt good being back in his arms. His strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his face into the crock of your neck, yours around his shoulder and giving light touches in his hair
“I’m sorry” He said whispering in your ear “I’m truly sorry” You shushed him
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You shook your head “I’m here now”
“I missed you so much” He whispered once more pulling you even closer to him, at this point you were a bit arched, with him leaning onto you; with your waist touching his, torso touching his, chest touching his and heads into the others neck.
“Don’t leave me ever again” Pablo said
“I’m not” You said pulling away a little but he didn’t moved an inch “Pabs”
“No” He shook his head “I’m truly sorry, I should-” You cut him off
“Pablo, it’s okay, I’m here now” Your hand went to the sides of his head “Look at me please” You whispered and he after a few seconds obliged, pulling his forehead into yours “I’m not leaving you”
“It felt like hell not seeing you in the stands, it felt horrible not seeing you at our trainings but it felt even worse you not talking to me at all”
“Sorry” That’s all you managed to say, you caressed his dirty stained cheeks leaning up to kiss his cheek and come back pull your forehead into his. You were looking into each other’s eyes, when you felt Pablo slowly lean in
And that’s when you felt a presence and pulled away from him
Pablo looked confused, his arms still around you while yours fell from his body.
“Hey” Samuel said smiling lightly "Tremendo juego hiciste el día de hoy. ¡Felicidades!" (Such a good game you did today. Congratulations!)
“Hola” Pablo said “Amigo, disculpa, en estos momentos estoy con mi familia disfrutando, puedo darte un autógrafo más tarde, y… ¿Podrías traerme una botella de agua?” (Mate, sorry, I’m enjoying with my family right now, I can sign something for you later, also… Would you bring me a bottle of water?)
“Él no trabaja aquí, Gavi” (He doesn’t work here, Pablo) You said untangling yourself from him
“¿Ah no? Disculpa” Pablo said smiling tightly, hand reaching up to grab yours but you crossed your arms in front of your chest “And who are you?” Pablo asked mirroring your actions but giving you a look
“Samuel, this is my best friend, Pablo Páez or better known as Pablo Gavi” You announced unlinking one of your arms to pull Samuel next to you. It was Samuel’s turn “And Pablito… This is Samuel Carnevale… My boyfriend”
At the moment you said that, you could see Pablo’s face scrunching up, he was confused and his jaw clenched, just like how it did when he was angry
“What?” Pablo asked in disbelief after a few seconds
You sighed “This is my boyfriend, Samuel Carnevale” You announced once more
“Boyfriend?” You nod repeated times
Gavi's eyes danced in between Samuel and your face, he looked for any sign of you joking with him. But found none.
This couldn't have happened to him. You had a boyfriend? Why? Why now he realized his feelings for you? Was this a kind of sick prank? If it was he wasn't liking it and wanted it to stop now.
The emotion he felt for winning the Supercopa went away when he saw you holding hands with him.
"Really?" He asked impressed trying to put on a happy face but it looked somehow as if he was in pain
And he was. Sentimentally he was.
He felt like he could cry a river to cover the whole European continent, he felt sick, his stomach felt funny, his head felt spinning and it wasn't definitely for the excitement of winning
He felt lost
"That's-" He cut himself off, he couldn't say it was good because it wasn't good but he also couldn't say it was bad because it would hurt you even more.
You'd think he was selfish. And he truly wanted to be, but not after what happened between the two of you.
Thankfully a voice pulled him out of the situation, the three of you turning your heads to see Pedri coming over
"Buenas noches!" He said grinning from ear to ear "Sorry to interrupt anything"
Please, don't be. Pablo thought
"But we need to go so they can give us the medals and lift the trophy" Gavi nodded relieved
He had never wanted to escape from a moment with you more than he does now
However, he watched you smile and nod at him "Go ahead, Martín" You kick his leg a little "Congratulations on winning, by the way. I'm so proud of you" Pablo smiled nodding at you
You stepped forward and hugged him once more you couldn't help yourself but wanted to embrace him
"I don't plan on ruining tonight for you, but I think you know we need to talk" You whispered against his ear as he nodded tightening his hold on you, now it was his turn, he kissed your cheek repeated times making you giggle
"Stop that" You asked laughing "Go" You untangled yourself from him forcing him to leave his hold on you.
"Meet me in a hour and a half in the tunel, okay?" You nod smiling, one of Pablo's hands went up to the side of your face and pulled a stray of hair away from your face, making you freeze in the beggining but retracted a bit
Pablo's hand fell at his side as he was confused and shocked, he felt a sting hit in his chest and his breathing got a bit uneven, he took deep breaths and let out the air he was holding in. He nodded not knowing what to do, he had never felt this way around you not even when you confessed your feelings for him, so, he just walked side by side with Pedri to grab their medals
"You okay?" Pedri asked next to him as Pablo lightly shook his head
"...No" He looked over to where you were standing, in the middle of the Páez and González family.
He felt the same sting in his chest when you retracted from his touch but the sting made itself pronounced when he saw Samuel pull you into his embrace and you making yourself comfortable in the boys's arms while cheering for them.
Those should've been his arms, not some random man ones, but he had been too stubborn to realize it. And meanwhile you were happy and moving on, it was his time to watch from the sidelines and get hurt
________
You were waiting for him to come out of the dressing room but it seemed like it wasn't happening any time soon. Everyone had left only the staff being present and a few of the players's family.
So you decided to walk around for a bit, you came up the tunnel finding the place where the players go out to the pitch. You walked it finding the empty stadium, it looked pretty when no one was around and you enjoyed it more this way but it looked even better with people in the stands supporting their clubes and wearing a certain color.
"I remember you being noisy" You turn around at hearing his voice "I just didn't knew how much" You smiled lightly watching Pablo walk a few steps more to join you "This is beautiful" You nod agreeing
"Yes, it is" You smiled lightly "Mostly when it's quiet"
Silence took over the two of you for a while, none of you knowing how to start
"You are looking pretty" He said randomly as you smiled lightly
"Thanks, you looking nice too"
"It felt nice seeing you up there once more" you hum pursing your lips a bit
"It felt nice being back there once more" You smiled taking a deep breath
"So... You have a boyfriend?" He asked the first thing that had came into his mind, you nod once more
"I do" You smile at the though of your blondie, he had gone to the hotel with Pedri's family much to his disagreement, he didn't wanted to leave you alone but he understood you had something serious to talk with Pablo
"Since when?"
"Since December"
Pablo nodded, looking down at his feet
"I missed you" He said
"I missed you too"
"Didn't seem like you did"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You weren't answering my texts, nor my calls and whenever I tried to go into your apartment, the security guards didn't let me in!"
"Well I told you I needed time and you accepted it"
"You ghosted me!"
"And I'm terribly sorry! I was heartbroken and I didn't precisely wanted to the see the guy who provoked it uncounsiously!"
"Were you really? Because all I could see was you from a party to another and to another! It definitely didn't look like you were heartbroken!"
"But I was and still am, Pablo!" When he heard you exclaim his first name once more, he knew he had fucked it up again. You already had called him with a nickname or one of his others names
"What did you want me to do?" You ask in between laughter "Stay at home crying? Feeling miserable because I made the biggest mistake ever? And of all of the persons in Barcelona I went ahead and fell in love with you? But still I went and did nothing to change it? And when I try you absolutely do nothing but say 'you were just from a party to another, you didn't missed me' Of fucking course I missed you!" You were laughing but in reality you were close to the verge of crying
"Hell you've been a constant person in my life for twelve years, Pablo!" You looked at him "No one has ever me stuck with me that much, besides my family of course, but you! To have you next to me 25/8 like we used to be and then out of nowhere not having you at all, also affected me! A lot! I know I provoked that and I'm sorry! I don't control the way I feel it just happened!"
"And I just wanted to let it out! Of course I was secretly hoping you'd say I'm in love with you too, but it wasn't the case and I've been dealing with it and finally made peace with that and I'm here tonight to tell you that I want my best friend back! That I'm moving on from it and that we may not end up together but I don't care about that anymore I just want you to know that I'm not giving up on our friendship, Gavi. Never. I'm back if you want me to be"
Pablo grabbed one of your arms and pulled you into him, you hugged his torso inmediately as he hugged you tighter
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Pablo repeatedly leaving kisses in every place reachable for him, your neck, your cheek, eyelid, eyebrows, your ear, your temple, hairline, forehead, all of that without letting you go "I just missed you so much, I was having it bad and seeing you living your life as if you've never missed me broke me completely" He whispered sniffing "Of course I want you back, I love you so much, mi niña" He kissed you repeatedly as you hide your face in the crock of his neck
You didn't know but he just proclaimed his love for you, more than a friendly way, but decided against saying it out loud.
As much as it hurt him, he was the cause of the pain you've gone through these past months and now you were back into his arms and life, he wasn't going to fuck it up.
Two Weeks Later
"C'mon!" Pablo whined in the couch "I SWEAR TO GOD I WON PEDRI IN FIFA LAST TIME!"
"Maybe I was having compassion with you, Pablito" All of the presents in the room laughed as Pablo threw the control in anger to the couch
He went to the kitchen in hopes of finding a snack that could help his sour mood right now when he heard your laugh.
You were at Pedri's for a get-together. Now that you and Pablo mended things up you were spending more and more time together, the guys loving it since they had no more grumpy Pablo and a heartbroken you. And they were happy since they added one more person to your guys group. Samuel.
The guys loved him, of course the poor lad had to pass a test made by Pedri and the guys that joined him, but once that finished the guys cheered for you both and approved Samuel.
So, that meant he was also there with you in your get-togethers
It wasn't easy for Pablo now that he had discovered his true feelings for you, he always made sure to try and not look at the two of you when you were being affectionate. But it was hard, the damn fucker made you happy, your smile when you were around Samuel was three times bigger than usual and even tho Pablo loved to see that kind of smile on your pretty face, he wanted to be the one and produce it.
He couldn't help but walk over where the two of you were sitting a bit parted from the group since you had a bit of headache but didn't wanted to ruin the guys fun
You were reclined on the couch as Samuel was lying in between your legs with his face pressed into your chest, your hands were around his neck as his were around your torso, he was apparently telling you something funny to make you laugh like that.
The mood Pablo had from his mates teasing got worse when he saw you kissing Samuel. He knew he wasn't in place to reclaim something but he wanted to go there and push the guy out of your body.
Samuel's phone dinged as he sighed, if Pablo listened right he said something among the lines of "I have to go home, my little brother fell and sprained his ankle"
Pablo thanked his little brother but forgot you had to answer
"Oh god is Marcelo okay? Fucking hell, that doesn't look good. Let's go" At hearing that Pablo sighed. You were too caring, too lovely... Too perfect for this world to be true.
"Don't worry, princesa" He saw how Samuel wanted to get up but you tightened your holds on your hands and crossed your legs behind his back "Y/N" Samuel laughed
"What?" You asked smiling innocently
"This is a get-together with your friends, I don't want you to miss the fun to be in an hospital for god-knows-how-long with my screaming and annoying little brother-OW!"
"Marcelo is lovely, too bad he's only seven years old, I would've gone for him"
"You're so on" And then he heard your hysterical laughter once more and pleads for him to stop tickling you.
Pablo turned around and saw his sister standing there with crossed arms "Maldición, joder, Aurora" Pablo cursed out "You almost made me shit my pants"
"What are you doing watching Y/N and her boyfriend?"
"I wasn't watching them"
"I've been standing here like five minutes ago"
Pablo sighed "Okay... Maybe I was watching them"
"Why?" Pablo looked at his sister without saying anything as she soon gasped "No way!" She exclaimed a little too loudly
"Shhhh! Nobody knows it!" Gavi silenced her
"You're in love with Y/N?"
"Shhh!" Gavi shushed her pulling his hand up to his sister's mouth "No one knows it, so could you please be quiet about it?" Aurora nodded
"We neeed to talk" Pablo groaned grabbing his sister hand and bringing her over to Pedri's room "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She said inmediately after Pablo closed the door "She told you her feelings for you and you pushed her away!"
"Back then I didn't realized it! I started knowing right during World Cup, she didn't talked to me back then! It would have been a waste telling her and over text!"
"She called you!"
"I was confused!" Pablo exclaimed "If I had realized even before World Cup I wouldn't even have left Spain, fighting for her, but I realized in the middle of it, then when we were eliminated she sent me three texts and ghosted me once more! I fucked it up not reciprocating her feelings and to try and tell her over text: Hey, I realized I'm in love with you. Sorry for the pain I caused you back then. That would've been the worst thing ever! I've seen enough movies, TV shows and I have been with you and her for so long to know exactly what to do and what not to do!"
"When I saw her at the Supercopa I proposed myself to tell her, I wanted to kiss her when I saw her, when I held her I wanted to tell her everything and let her do whatever she wanted to and with me but then she appeared with that guy and with a light smile on, she told me 'He's my boyfriend' I wanted to die at that moment" Pablo shook his head running his fingers through his hair "I have put her through enough pain to just let that wound come back again! She seems happy with him and meanwhile he makes her happy, make her feel loved then I should be as well"
"You're going to love her from far away?" Pablo nodded with his hands on his face, he wanted to cry
"I think I lost my chance, rora"
"You haven't" Aurora said "She still loves you"
"But she's with him" Gavi looked at his sister, tears scaped from his eyes "I won't ruin that for her, I won't be the reason she's sad again" He shook his head "I will be there for her for everything and anything she needs me for, but I'm not ruining her relationship. I'll just wait for her, I'll wait"
Aurora was surprised by the determination on her younger brother, not suttering at all with his words, still, she felt proud, he knew he fucked up but also, he knew how to mend it and wait.
"Have patience, Pabs" She told him hugging her brother tightly "A lot of patience, you'll need it" Pablo nodded reciprocating the hug
"I will" He laughed
He was known for not having an ounce of patience, but he would gain the world's whole patience only for you. And he will do.
After having a moment, Gavi washed his face with water and headed down, to find no Samuel but you still laid on the sofa, he contemplated the fact of going towards the guys who probably will keep making fun of his bad FIFA skills or be with you.
Guess what he decided?
"Buenas" He said with a light smile catching your attention
"Hey, señorito" You smiled putting down your phone "Everything good?" Gavi nodded "What's up?"
"The guys keep making fun of me for being bad at FIFA" You scrunched your face a little
"I don't buy the 'I beat Pedri' thing either"
"BUT I DID!" He exclaimed making you laugh
"C'mere, Gavs" You fixed your position and patted the space on the couch, he just couldn't resist you so he ended up sitting next to you "The only one who can bully you it's me, so let's just sit here for a while and watch funny Tik Tok videos and cute puppy reels" He smiled sitting next to you
"Only because you said cute puppy reels" You smirked leaning over a bit for the two of you to see properly your phone screen
After an hour and half of watching funny videos on your phone, laughing, making comments and sometimes getting sad when something emotional happened, somehow you guys ended up cuddled up into each other.
You leaned into Gavi's chest, sat in between his legs as his back rested in the arm rest, his legs streched out as yours were pulled up at your chest, his arms wrapped around your frame.
Gavi stopped for a second, hearing you laugh, he smiled looking down at you, he indeed was stupid enough for not realizing his feelings soooner.
If he had done that, you could probably be like this but with another status, he sighed lightly accepting for now the fact you were with someone else but as you leaned more into him uncounsciously, giving him a smell of the delicious TRESemmé oil elixir you put to protect your hair and that he often found himself stealing a bit from, he realized he would fight for you, always. To have you by his side and make you happy.
Gavi kissed your hair and temple a couple of times before tightening his hold on you
"Something's wrong?" You ask lightly as he shakes his head
"...Don't think so"
One thing people also known Gavi for was that he was determinated, he never stopped until he had what he wanted.
And he wanted you.
°°° °°° °°° °°°
Tag list: @gaviypedrisbride @ariagonzalezsstuff @gaviswh0re
488 notes · View notes