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mdhwrites · 5 months

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Self Defeating Endings With Grom Factor by MoringMark

A link to the comic's, Grom Factor by Moringmark, beginning.

(If you want to skip the preamble about endings and tragedies, I've bolded the start of the paragraph when I actually start talking about Grom Factor) So I don't like making this. I don't really want to comment too much on fanworks. I have no reason to shit on people who are just celebrating The Owl House. My goal is not to make people despise it, it's to analyze, process my own thoughts, and hopefully teach through sharing those thoughts.

But... I can't talk about tragedies with TOH. The VAST majority of media I consume wouldn't give me the chance and, well... Endings are important. Happy Endings actually happen the most often because they're the most safe. The most gratifying. Everything the characters worked for had the simple point of success and a better future. And, you know, I like that. Their ubiquity though makes them a common point of lazy criticism as people will try to nitpick all the things not fixed or it being so happy because, well, the story had to end eventually. It's why I've never really been like "HoW dO wE aCtUaLlY kNoW tHe IsLeS wIlL bE oKaY!?" I don't care. The show says they're happy because they got rid of the evil guy then fine. It needed to end and at least this means our characters can know peace. The only things I really interrogate about the ending is what it says about those characters and the story that was told because that is part of your ending.

But if you want to claim a more complex story, especially if your story is already ripping off so many elements from a previous one (I'm sorry but Grom Factor is just Grom+Eda's Curse but missing the emotional cores of either because we don't know these characters and there's been no real build up. Not to talk about how ripping off your own series' biggest stories is already going to tank investment), a 'tragic' ending can be a way to do that. A bittersweet ending can be a way to do that. A way to undercut the happy ending everyone expected by instead ripping out their heart.

But you run the risk of making the whole story pointless.

Most people will argue that most tragedies are pointless. Romeo and Juliet is so confident in how pointless the love story is that it tells you the two people die at the end at the BEGINNING. But... It's not. The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet sticks with people and is something people want to retell because the tragedy of it all has a point. It talks of the brashness of youth, the collateral damage of endless fury, of how dangerous emotions can be, even the best of them like love. How things can be torn apart and destroyed, futures ended futilely because people will not let go of their emotions or even try to be calm when they have only ever been told to hate. Romeo's passion is both his most attractive quality but also the dooming element that makes sure he kills himself at the end, a trait that Juliet shares and both have from their families who never let people rest. Never allow there to be more than just extreme emotions and so anytime they're emotional, it's big and dangerous.

And so the ending has a point to it. It is the only one that fits the thematics and condemns properly all the damage that was done. That sweet words cannot fix an endless cycle of hate. It is an ending forced by the entire point of the story. Something is only self defeating when there isn't really a theme, core or narrative goal that requires that sort of tragedy. Or, worse yet, when the ending actively undermines all of those elements.

So let's finally talk about Grom Factor. For those who haven't read it, my description earlier is not far off. Luz and Amity's child, Ayzee, causes herself to be named as the next person who will fight Grom. She does this for the most bog standard next gen reason: Wanting to prove herself in contrast to her successful parents. To be her own person and prove that she can be great too. Meanwhile, her girlfriend Milan doesn't want this, partially due to being a healer and following the hypocratic oath, but then commits to helping her girlfriend no matter what. In this process, she gets a part of Philip's journal that shows that Grom is actually a small, scared child. So while Ayzee is preparing to fight Grom, her girlfriend prepares to try to cure Grom.

Big fight ensues, the elixir they bring (yes, just Eda's eliixir, nothing specialized or more complicated) doesn't work and Grom EXPLODES into something more dangerous than ever before. Ayzee and Milan are given a petrification glyph by Amity and Luz after showing Ayzee doesn't have magic of her own, they do a dance to get to the core of Grom to use the glyph... And Milan instead uses Lilith's spell from the end of S1 in order to split the pain of Grom and take the curse onto herself. It works but now anyone who touches Milan gets their fears shouted at them because her hair is now at least partially Grometheus. Then the two leads talk, kiss but we see in Ayzee's head that she is being tortured during the kiss with her fears of inadequacy and the idea that she will always end up hurting other people.

So there you go. A story about one person selfishly throwing themselves in danger without a care about others or the harm she may cause due to her potentially ready for this while the other lead preaches a stop to all harm and even pushes to save a monster because they're in pain too. All the while, the arc tries to sell us on the relationship and how much they theoretically care about each other, especially since this is their first arc together as a couple.

So the actual way to go for a tragic ending, that has similar results to what the comic does, is actually not that hard to see. Ayzee's fears and inadequacies, and her need to prove herself, has HER save Grom while thinking that this will fix her mistake and make her girlfriend happy because she's now taking part of her girlfriends beliefs: To let no one suffer. She could see about someone else taking the pain or not take charge in this situation her flaw, the thing that set all this up for failure which is a component of tragedies. is being unwilling to allow others to do that. To put the burden on herself. So, knowing that killing Grom would hurt someone she cares about by forcing her to take a life, but also needing to do something to set things right, especially as she sees this as her mistake through her original sin of wanting to fight Grom for glory, she sacrifices her happiness to do a selfless act and save the creature. It's bittersweet because of all the curse will do to her but it does actually resolve an arc to the episode and has something to say about how looking for danger for glory is always going to lead to more trouble than you want to have found. It has a POINT.

Instead... Milan's just such a dang good healer! It was so foolish of her to be a good doctor and not want harm upon others. If she had just been like Ayzee and focused more on herself, she might have been willing to let Grom rot and get to have anything resembling a happy life afterwards. Instead, this genuinely just good trait of this good person who did nothing wrong the entire story, means that she will NEVER have relationships again. Not just with Ayzee but ANYONE because she inherently harms people around her by mentally torturing them. By her own character motivations, this means she isn't going to be okay EVER unless this is cured.

But that doesn't track with the reveal of Grom's backstory. Because, you know, that did happen. The story ends so fast after Grom is saved and barely lets her have any time that it's almost easy to forget. But... Grom was made into what she was by cursing herself for the sake of power... To protect others. She was selfless. With it being Milan who saved her, this is meaningless. At best, it's cycles repeating. If Ayzee had, it would have been part of the point the story theoretically sets up for how one needs to do things for others, not for themselves. Instead, I guess the lesson is no good deed goes unpunished? It's not even that personal glory hurts those around you as collateral damage because that's NOT what Grom did.

And finally, there's just the last comic in general that REALLY highlights how little Milan or Grom matters here. She shrugs off the curse. She shrugs off the consequences. Her pain doesn't matter. The only pain that matters is AYZEE'S because this is still her story and NEVER was Milan's. All of this trivializes the tragedy and sacrifice Milan made, as well as the saving of Grom, because those things had nothing to do with the actual focus of the story which doesn't even payoff because the ending shot is making sure we know just how miserable Milan will make Ayzee's life.

THAT is a self defeating ending. The relationship that this arc ostensibly solidifies and sells to the audience? Dead. Ayzee's fears and worries? Made WORSE. Any themes about the need to do what is best for all instead of best for yourself? Falling on the character who already knew that OR saying that doing so always sucks for the person who actually gives a fuck. Any payoff for this? Dismissed so it can only focus on the person SPARED any consequences from her actions except tangentially. And yes, tangentially since Ayzee just needs to get over a teenage crush while Milan will never be a healthy partner to anyone.

The closest you might want to say is that because Ayzee's life did get worse, it sticks to a theme of her brash actions having consequences but then why is the ONLY person to explicitly be harmed by all of this Manila who didn't share that same flaw? At least in Romeo and Juliet, they BOTH die because they BOTH suffer from dangerous levels of brashness and passion. Not many main characters in tragedies get out unscathed for a reason. Usually even if others do get killed during their story, they still suffer just as badly, if not worse.

You can't even go with "Well, at least this version allows Ayzee to be her own person," something that would have been undercut by fusing with a creature" " which is ostensibly part of the point of this sort of next gen arc. To prove they stand alone from what came before... Except no. Ayzee's angst at the end, blaming herself for this, thinking everything she does will always end up hurting others, is literally just Luz's angst arc post Hollow Mind and just about as unreasonable for self hate as her justification. So even that theme, the most basic, number one next gen theme is pointless here, especially since it doesn't even get resolved in any way. The ending, and even the comments recognize this, reinforces that Ayzee is right: People will only ever see her like a little Luz instead of a strong witch herself.

So is there ANY point to this ending? Well... because it's a next gen retelling. Because TOH already did Grom. Already had Luz wanting to prove herself through being Grom Queen. Literally Ayzee's entire arc here is a more blatantly selfish, less interesting version of what her mom did one generation ago. The twist of Grom actually being a good person... *gestures to every character arc in TOH* so that adds literally nothing new, especially since it ends the same way as Eda's curse with the same spell. As such, if it ends happily, and with the couple okay and stronger than before... It literally is just Grom. So you have to give it a tragic ending or else there's no point to this story existing. There's nothing to say except that it's a worse version of the original and why didn't you try to shake things up at all?

It highlights the fact that yeah, this arc is just flawed from a conceptual standpoint which isn't surprising to me. This arc is much of why I made a post a couple days ago about the Isles being an objectively terrible setting for a follow up story. This story is the epitome of everything people dislike about next gen stories, even up to every change they make in a retelling being just worse than the original.

And here's the final nail in the coffin: I will never care about these characters because of this arc but especially because of this ending. We knew almost nothing about Milan before this besides her being Ayzee's girlfriend. Hell, we barely knew anything about AYZEE because we haven't gotten that many comics with her so the only trait that's really been established is that she's a gamer. And yet, in their first outing, a chance to really show who they are and to make them more distinct than Luz and Amity... Well, doing literally anything for your girlfriend and being a damn near saint is just what Amity turned into eventually and I've talked about how much the arc hammered in that Ayzee is literally just Luz all over again. It's a miracle she's not named Buz. Then the ending says screw you to any payoffs or themes for the sake of having ANYTHING to distinguish this from the original and little else. Even the idea that these characters could lead to a fun, silly extension of the show by how absolutely miserable the ending is.

So at this point... Why should I ever bother with these characters again? That seems like a self defeating goal for myself as a viewer.

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As a note, this isn't because someone brought it to my attention. I still follow Mark and have since even before his started his final Star Versus comic story. I want to support him, I don't think he's a terrible writer and I like plenty of his comics, but it's rough when he took like two years to finally do a large arc like this again and it's just... not good. And no, I don't like A Hint of Blue either unfortunately but unless I just want to talk about how a boring romance happens, I probably won't ever do a blog like this on that.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house #Grom Factor #moringmark

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writingforatwistedworld · 2 years

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Phantom bride event-Player is the last option Pt. 1

Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit, Jack Howl

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, violence, obsession, possessiveness, poison, death, murder

Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no!!!!

There is no way Leona can stay calm during this

First the dead annoyance took your first time wearing clothing for wedding but now you are also endangered to to get fresh-frozen

He was already ready to yeet his lazy self out of the window after that clothing thingy

But now? You? Alone? With her? No one being able to stop her??!

Nu-uh. If that is the case then he will make sure that no one can have you

And I mean that literally because... well... he would rather see you dead than promised to her

So here he is, fuming, imploding from anger and... eerily silent

You would think that he would aim for you now as well but he just stares

Leona knows that he can't escape now so he waits till the deal is done

So once he is free again he will uh... mix the color scheme of the place a bit up

You get me, right?

If he would have been there when this was decided then he would have ripped that stupid crows head off

He would have made sure that you would never set foot into the school until this was over

But no! Someone had to allow you to come! Oh happy day!

Just... try signaling him that this is still a fake proposal. Maybe he will just chop off your legs so you can never get away from him

He would be genuinely offended if she would refuse

Ok, you look horrible. The clothing was just thrown at you and it's not even properly ironed

But... it's you

Perfection in person

His muse

Poisoned apples sadly don't work on ghosts because otherwise he would have given missy one already

Well, she already has the fitting complexion so... mhm...

And yes, he would also be sad and falling into despair if she were to say yes but he is aware, unlike other certain individuals, that this is all an act

Interested in taking on a role in the next film he is in? You could be the Overseer in there! How fitting!

Your acting skills are sufficient enough as he can see

Vil is sad, angry but also happy that you are here

He doesn't show this of course

Sad because, well, he isn't the one who gets proposed to

Angry because Crewel didn't stop you from marching in here

And happy because his beloved came to help him

But be careful with the food he serves you after this. That apple isn't poisoned. Oh no. There was just a certain something added. A certain love potion....

He might be planning your wedding already but he doesn't feel so great about the thought that everyone was turned into a popsicle and you are the only one left

There is no one there to protect you!

If it wouldn't be for the pesky magic holding him in place then he would already be standing between you and her

Jack hates it only being able to watch

50% of his brain is occupied with thoughts about your and his wedding but the other 50% are occupied with how he could protect you if he could

What is the fastest way to rip someone's head off?

And then he would present it to you which would lead to you hugging him and telling him that he is a wonderful fiance and...

Yeah no. No way. All just in his head

But then again, he is raised after Shaftlands logic so... he is throwing a lot of insults at himself

That place is all for reaching better performances and coming closer to your perfection

And now he isn't able to proof himself and protect you in such a situation

Which must mean that he is absolutely useless

But he wouldn't be Jack Howl if he would just stop here

A lot more training

Magic and his body

You might want to stop him before this ends in a tragedy because of him overlooking himself

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nanuk-the-bat · 13 days

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Was tagged by @phenanthreneblue! Thank you! <3

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Nope. I was almost a Kathleen though and that would have been a tragedy lol, but really, I'm not particularly attached to names.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Couple weeks ago, when I decided to split a whole extra spicy fried Korean chicken with my other half, who basically drinks hot sauce. Said I'd try the hot hot one. I did, and I wept from the burning deliciousness.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

One larva/ honey badger/ cherub

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

Volleyball. Basketball. Soccer. La cross. Archery (if that counts?) Not a sports person, but I have decent coordination and enjoy physical activity for the sake of mental and health benefits.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Only when extra sassy

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Their voice, followed by hair color

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Mossy log meets dappled sunlight.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Can I have both? No...fine. Happy endings with a bit of trauma along the way.

ANY TALENTS?

Not a master of any skill set, but I sing significantly better than the average person. And my level of ocpd helps with organizing. Oh and bad timing.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Technically in the USA, but not in any of the states.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Drawing fictional characters ad nauseum. Gaming on rare occasions. Choir and solo stuff on a blue moon.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

One cat that looks more like a gray fuzzy slinkie with the moves of a squirrel, and one illusive tuxedo cat.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Average height.

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

I assume this means academically? Microbiology or Music. No I can't pick.

DREAM JOB?

Pathologist? But I'm too lazy to pursue that atm.

TAGGING

@thedogtorwho @star-spangled-bastard @laudanine @wondrouswendy @dethharmonic and @ anyone else who wants to join.

#tagging game

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haematicspectre · 7 months

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15 questions, 15 mutuals

tagged by: bri my beloved @deankarolina

i shan't tag anyone for this bc i'm lazy... if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, though originally I was named after a place.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A week ago. At work. In front of a colleague. So it was hashtag humiliating. Workplace bullying fucking sucks, bro.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope! Unless my cats count 🥰

4. What sports do you play/have played

Currently do pole (on haitus due to an injury). I've previously played tons of sports, but mostly it was basketball and taekwondo. Alas.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Ya, lol.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I hate these questions like girl idk... Other than a general Vibe Check, not much until we actually interact? OH ACTUALLY WAIT always tattoos if they have ink.

7. What’s your eye color?

Dark brown.

8. Scary movie or happy endings?

The implication that a genre and trope are interchangeable is wild.

I prefer "scary movies" to "feel good" movies in general, I suppose. I love a good horror in general, but yeah. I feel like this question is super limiting. That said, I LOVE a tragedy and will take one over a happy ending any day, baby!

9. Any talents?

I can remember all sorts of useless information while forgetting important shit ✌️

I'm pretty good at training staff/students :^) Idk does that count?

10. Where were you born?

Australia.

11. What are your hobbies?

Listening to music, watching competitive cooking shows, trying to teach my cats tricks, studying languages, crafts in general.

12. Do you have any pets?

Yes they are my beloved little idiots and I care them so so much.

13. How tall are you?

A few millimetres off 5' lol

14. Favorite subject in school?

Classical history and Latin.

15. Dream job?

In an ideal world I'd be doing something bery similar to my current work but with better structure, where I can work part time and not go into financial disrepair. In the future, I'd love to teach.

#haematicspectre

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beeblackburn · 1 year

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1, 6, 22 and 31 for the asks? 💖

Thank you, @xserpx!

1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

I mean... I'm not sure most of the characters I read/watch are comfort ones in that sense, I think?

FitzChivalry Farseer (Realm of the Elderlings) - He's so stupid, it's almost hilarious. Like, he's a mess, he's a right mess, but I've always found something familiar and comforting in how Fitz navigates his depression, his repressed feelings that spill out into cathartic rage, and yeah, his total fuck-ups, but is capable of still having loved ones, making up for his mistakes, and having a semblance of a life. I don't know, as a fellow depressed person, Fitz gives me a strange hope that life isn't irreversibly broken, no matter the circumstances, even if Hobb's too good a writer to promise an utter happily-ever-after for us.

Stannis Baratheon (A Song of Ice and Fire) - He's also really stupid. This fucking lobster king, so pedantic, teeth-grinding, grudge-gnawing, snappish, and socially awkward. There's a lot of good reasons I latched onto this fool in my teenage years and still find a familiarity to him. That being said, I've always found the man comforting in how... solid he is, past the surface. He's all the above, but he rewards good service, he tries to grow past his grievances, he puts in the work and isn't happy to do it, but he grinds his teeth because someone has to do it. He's a source of stability in an increasingly chaotic narrative.

Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire) - She used to be so innocent in her outlook, just a child increasingly swept up in the storm of a dark fantasy world's chaos, constantly told she's stupid and foolish for believing in better, and refusing to stoop down to it, despite a Rogues' Gallery of mentors trying to corrupt her towards moral darkness. I'll always take solace in how she keeps such hope and idealism, naïve at first, then fiercely held onto, despite most things that gave her joy now give her nightmares and horrors, still keeping in her heart, All the stories can't be lies.

Legosi (Beastars) - I think it's partly how much I can read neurodivergence in him, but there's some deeply familiar with how much Legosi is a deeply introverted weirdo in his own right. He has his little quirks, he loves to read tragedies, he's got an uncomfortable relationship with his body and self and urges, he fucks up in small and tremendous socially awkward ways, all of which I latch onto. Yet, he is always sincere, he tries to be kindly and meet anyone halfway, even if he's scary and weird by society's definition, and even gets to live a content life after dropping out of high school, as a service worker who enjoys getting to know more experiences past a more societally-acceptable course.

Crown Prince Orso (The Age of Madness) - Yes, even with that trilogy ending. Like, it's Orso! Whenever I read his chapters, I just know I'm in for some depressed thoughts, wry, self-deprecating humor, and him to acknowledge he knows nothing, but by god, he'll try his best. In a world full of traitors, cutthroats, and tyrants, Orso's mostly just a nice, depressed dude who wants to do the right thing, treats those he cherishes with all the affection through the haze of depression, and maybe have a drink or drugs along the way, refreshingly so.

6. Why did you do that?

Honestly, because she probably needed the money more than me, and someone else could also watch really gnarly, sicko movies.

22. What type of person are you?

I mean... a self-deprecating, self-centered, hot-tempered, perfectionistic, paranoid, stubborn, spiteful, envious, petty, grumpy, needy, lazy, and depressed basket case of a person.

On the other hand, I do try to be non-judgmental, thoughtful, generous, curious, loyal, and kind, so.

31. What type of music keeps you grounded?

Judging from my soundcloud's liked songs, I'm drawn to future bass type songs to keep me in that specifically grounded feeling. I've got plenty others I listen to, but a good chunk of songs are meant to give me some ambient noise or enliven me a little in mood.

#weird asks

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just-some-guy-at-shiz · 7 months

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When I read the novel for the first time, I was surprised that Boq and Nessa didn’t have a thing to do with each other. Fortunate for him, of course, but unexpected.

I sort of felt as though it was a missed opportunity. Mostly I agreed with the decisions made in both versions as necessary to their respective narratives. But I was bit let down that Glinda wasn’t a larger presence in the original, and I was let down that the tin man and scarecrow have absolutely no connections to Elphaba. That they’re as random as one would assume initially. We spend a good deal of time in Boq’s mind at Shiz, but then he suddenly leaves the narrative, only to return briefly, as a coincidence that could have been anyone. Glinda is quite similar. I felt like something was lost. But I know this has some intentional meaning.

The foreshadowing in the musical almost implies destiny. The way that every character appearance, every interaction, drives the plot and leads to their eventual fates. This is the way of musicals. The novel, despite Yackle’s talk early on, discards the notion of any sort of predetermination. So much happenstance. So many occurrences that just happen and then have no influence whatsoever later on. More like real life, I suppose. Not everything and everyone has some huge meaning. Sometimes things happen just to happen. Sometimes you forge bonds with people close to you and think you’ll always be connected, and then you don’t see each other, and if you ever meet again, you’re essentially strangers. You don’t have any connection, save a knowledge that you used to, and a sort of guilty obligation to revive it despite the lack of the friendship to do so in any way that matters. Just like Boq first telling Elphaba how they knew each other when they were kids. That’s the only foreshadowing in this book, hinting at the way all of these friends will be to each other with time. Sure, we may have known each other. What does it matter now? What does it matter now? What does it even mean anymore?

I wish Boq had stayed a character character in the way he was in the chapters at Shiz. Even if it does mean a tragic metallic fate for the poor guy. But I suppose with the kind of themes the novel has, he had to go on and have an unrelated life. People like Boq and Avaric, with their respective futures, are symbols of… something. Different views on evil, I suppose. Two different sides of the same coin when it comes to indifference. Boq’s indifference on the state of the world at large as long as those close to him are safe. Avaric’s indifference to morality as long as he’s entertained. Avaric’s an a-hole and he claims it proudly, but are we supposed to see Boq’s life too as evil by inaction?

Honestly, I’m happy for him. He seems to have gotten a really good ending compared to his counterpart, and escaped the unhappiness or tragedy of nearly all of his peers (moment of silence for poor Tibbett please). He’s got a family, a nice domestic life. It seems okay to me. He’s not a hero, but is it really evil not to be actively trying to do big things to make a difference? Not everyone can be a revolutionary… but is this simply my lazy, cowardly excuse-making? My projecting?

Elphaba seems to look down on him, the twice they interact in later years. She seems to look down on the fact that he’s content with his life even when the world is still f—ed up.

Is he wrong? What is he in this story?

At Shiz, he wasn’t all that morally lofty. I cite his rooftop escapade, even before he’s pressured into the philosophy club. On the whole though, he’s not a bad person, and he even helps with the whole library books thing. He makes a difference—when doing so is convenient, of course, and (far as I remember) low risk for him, and gives him something exciting to share with his friends. But better than no action at all? He had good intentions, and a better conscience than a lot of people in that friend group. He just didn’t do much with that conscience. He did a few unusually good things. He did a few rather questionable things too, honestly, and didn’t always need peer pressure for it. In his adult life, he cares about Elphaba’s causes, but takes no direct action, only passive following.

Once again he’s the Everyman. Normal life, normal future. Not a hero or a villain or even some lesser position like whatever office Avaric holds (I don’t remember). Just another average anonymous citizen. His college years the most exciting years of his life. Not remembered by history, just by those who knew him. But happy, I think.

Making a difference in the world has a price, and he chose not to pay it. It’s as simple as that.

Does this make him evil? Tell me, tell me, tell me, does this make him evil too? I need to know.

#wicked #wicked novel #boq bfeeson #thinking too deeply about things #no but BOQ being the one to meet Nessa when she arrives at Shiz??#I was like oh boy oh no this is where it starts #but no nevermind and thank goodness

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narcissa-black-supermacy · 2 years

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and i do think that the obsession with happy endings is overhyped - just like main character death, actually. "they lived happily ever after" and "and then the hero died" are two sides of the same coin of lazy writing where you either give your reader dopamine by letting the characters be happy with no explanation or having to deal with the aftermath of what they went through, or adrenaline by killing off a character for shock value because you could not find a better way to make the reader feel something.

in reality, the two are always mixed - there's bitterness in a happy ending, when you're forced to confront everything that lead up to that point, and on the other hand, happiness is allowed to exist throughout the tragedy. people live through ongoing wars that last years with no end, and they find ways to be happy and fall in love and build families throughout all of that, and that actually brings so much more emotion than your typical happily ever after where all their problems are magically resolved.

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writingisartdarling · 10 months

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15 questions and 15 mutuals

I was tagged by the amazing @emma-hahn and @cobertaddict

Were you named after anyone?

Not really, I don't think. Although my second name was thought of because my great-grandmother or someone related to her had my name.

When was the last you cried?

I think sometime last month actually. It's been pretty smooth sailing this month I'm happy to say.

Do you have kids?

No, and I will not have for a while as it is not the right time for me to do that right now.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes but depending on the company. I use sarcasm quite a lot when with close family or friends but with others nor really that much.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

I think like their overall being, if that's not too weird lol. Overall being as in like the way I feel they present themselves and make me feel around them.

What's your eye color?

Kind of messy green.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, although I'd much prefer angst and tragedy. Hate scary movies and horror stuff feom the bottom of my heart...

Any special talents?

Uuuh don't know about special but I can play the flute aaaannndd I can season food better than my dad

Where were you born?

Finland, won't go to any details for my personal safety :)

What are your hobbies?

I play the flute (paying for lessons and have played for 7+ years) and piano (learned to play it by myself), write, play video games and listen to music.

Have any pets?

My family has a cat (not exactly sure about the breed but she's like a normal cat yk) and a dog (a miniature poodle).

What sports do you play/have you played?

I did ballet when I was about 6 but stopped it after a year or so...Otherwise I'm not much of a excerciser.

How tall are you?

Approximately 175 cm -> I'm too lazy to check how much it it in feet etc. so feel free to check it yourself :)

Favorite subject in school?

Probably history and english.

Dream job?

An author/writer if I didn't think about money etc. More realistically maybe something to do with business or music.

I'll be tagging the following users but no pressure if you don't want to do it or have already been tagged by someone else :) Also, failed to tag all 15 mutuals but we'll make do with what we have!

@chelsie-carson @chelsiefan71 @downton-bridgerton @downtondownstairs @countess-of-bingewatching @corasorangejuice @belovedrival

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lgist · 2 years

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When things aren’t going your way, what is your emotional reaction? Do you stay calm, wait it out and see what happens next? Do you say to hell with it as your frustration at the situation itself cannot be swayed? Or do you shut down? Unable to keep upright as the scenario sends you off the plank, to a deep and negative spiral. Things often do not go our way, it’s a fundamental part of life. Great times get even better when we realise how much worse it could’ve been. Times when we are feeling low are only made worse by this fact. We imagine the outcomes of life to where we are not here. The decisions we could’ve made. The time wasted doing something we now find non important. We are never getting it back. I’ve spoken about the sadness and the grief and the regret that comes from that, from imagining a life better than yours but anger and frustration, those emotions are slightly different. Anger, similar to sadness and grief, is inherently a negative emotion. Like the atomic bomb, it burns everything it touches, leaves a mark after it’s done and we’ll wonder in the future how and why did it ever come to fruition. For anger is momentary in its existence, it will come so fast we cannot prepare for its devastation in our thought process. After it has demolished enough, it will leave in a trail of fire and we will look upon the ashes, wondering if it was necessary. Where anger will deviate from sadness is what it seeks to destroy. Anger is anger, it is angry at the world for what it has done to you, it will place your ego at the forefront of pressing issues in your life and blame, outwardly, everyone and everything but yourself. Sadness is sadness, the blame falls to you, the responsibility falls to you, everyone and everything can’t do a thing to help you, you are alone. You will find that these 2 things mix into an incredible concoction of negativity.

When you are helpless in your journey of self actualisation, with no sense of direction, you will blame both the world and yourself for how it has gone so far. Anger will arise, so frustrated with how things are working out for you, it cannot dream of anything else but annihilation. Sadness will surface, it will beg for you to give up, it will convince you that you were useless in the eyes of life. I feel this problem, while it does exist for everyone, young people are especially at risk. It is how families will lose their children just after sending them off to school in the morning. These children, actual children, will wake up one morning, already so fed up and so frustrated that the attention from a tragedy is good enough. Finally they are seen, finally their emotions have taken form, finally their pain is shared. So while we talk about pressing topics such as gun control, we forget to ask, what can drive a child, barley breaching their teens, to murder? What can drive such hatred, such anger, such negativity to oneself and those around them? What can rip away the innocence of a child that then allows them to rip away that same innocence from others? The perfect concoction of negativity. There is not much to do once someone has taken their first sip, they are now addicted to it, foaming at the mouth for the next hit.

For while anger and sadness are destructive and almost inescapable once they have taken you down, inch by inch, they remain the easy way out and our minds are lazy, it will always look for the easy way out. A method of looking at the world through the lens of blame and regret. I cannot be happy because person x doesn’t love me. I cannot be happy because person y doesn’t agree with my university choice. I cannot be happy because. We will fill our minds with reasoning and rationale for our sadness and anger, for what? Because it is easier than actually facing it and moving on. We would rather sit and sulk rather than actually do something about it. I am guilty of this too. I had a dream once, this beautiful dream I wished to have never ended, where my life is how I pictured it to be. Like my brain played this prank on me, elaborate in its execution and extremely effective in its realism. A dream so real, I forgot about my actual life in it. Imagine my ruin when I woke up. I had lost perfection and returned to my imperfect life. Tears smeared my pillow case as I realised what had happened and rather than getting up and immediately chasing my dream, I did what I did the day before. Strange isn’t it? How I can be shown perfection and even its appearance did nothing to actually motivate me. So, if it’s not perfection I am seeking, what is it? What do I want? How do I want it? When do I want it to happen? Unanswerable and rhetorical, so I will just sit in this pool I have created for myself. That is the catch of this deadly concoction, sacrifice your endless and tiring search for happiness and blame those around you for it being this way, this way you need not ask difficult and unanswerable questions, you can finally relax.

When it is the exact opposite of relaxation you will find. While yes the questions will subside and you will finally find some grounds for why things are the way they are. Will you be at peace? No. Conflict within yourself will surely rise as your rationale keeps eating away at you. That part of yourself that dreams for more, that awakens when you sleep, will always be somewhere within that recess we call a consciousness. An internal conflict that only has one winner. It is like in fiction, where they will have the demon and the angle on either shoulder. For if the angel should win, inner peace is achieved and if the demon should win, a gravestone of a person far too young will be your legacy. I feel as if our minds are constantly toying with us, it knows what it should do and yet it still begs for more and more questioning. Endless questioning. The whys, the whats, the ifs. Sometimes you just get sick of it and miss the entire point of asking questions in the first place. No matter how you think we were brought to creation, creationism or evolution , one fact remains true, we are here. We are here to be. Present always, never a second too late or early. Free will bestowed upon us, we are free to ask, ask as many questions as we want. However, in our infinite lines of questioning, we forget that an even greater amount of answers exist and it is the root of negativity. Unanswerable and rhetorical questions eat away at our minds' ability to be happy for we feel a great failure in being unable to answer questions, especially questions about ourselves. The questions themselves are unanswerable because of their variance, you could answer the same question about yourself entirely differently on a different day. It is what makes the answer feel so empty, for it exists in this plane of subjectivity and for some odd reason, we as humans chase objectivity. The undeniable truths. So rather than being happy in the ability to ask questions we suffer at the hands of a varying and empty answer. I plead with you today to be happy with a multiple choice question, for you are able to ask again another day. Perhaps the objective answer to you is murky now, covered by your own self-pity and blazing anger, patience is truly a virtue, even in the long road to happiness. Keep asking questions, keep giving new answers. Until you find the objective truths about yourself. Dealing with anger and sadness is hard, inquiring about their existence is harder. Perhaps all my answers here today are subject to change and I’m all right with that. The first and last question we will always ask ourselves at the beginning of this journey and at the very end; Are you happy?

___________________

Emotional as always, I love a bit of melodramaticism in the morning. What am I if not melodramatic? Reader, even I am still searching for my objective truths, it might take my entire life but at least I have my entire life to ask away. How many questions do you think we ask on average in a lifetime? Must be thousands, it will be for me anyway. And yes, I do get angry and I do get sad sometimes. I do not take my own adviceon , even though it’s really good advice :p. This blog isn’t meant to be some self help course, I’m just trying to get my ideas of life on paper. Perhaps I should adventure into a deeply negative source, one without a happy ending. An experiment of sorts. What do you think? Let me know. Much love - S

#philosophy #mental health #mentalheathawareness #leftist #leftism #writing #writer #writers and poets

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crownedeath · 2 years

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♔ –––– DAEDALUS: a history ( copied from daedalus’s old carrd )

tws for marital abuse, stalking, murder, & suicide

daedalus james hunter was born to high school sweethearts james hunter and phoebe quincy a year after their wedding. phoebe had named him after one of her favorite greek mythological heroes, although years later, she would admit that she had perhaps searched for an answer to the tragedy that was her wedding with james.

regardless, for a time, james was happy to have a son. when phoebe didn't bounce back to her pre-pregnancy body, though, he began to shift his demeanor. "you could put some more effort into working on yourself, you know. imagine how i feel, seeing that you let yourself go after having our child. don't you think he'd deserve better than knowing his mom is lazy?" eventually, when it became clear that she couldn't lose the weight, james began to hit her.

daedalus was four years old when phoebe took him and left. he was five when his mother had to get a restraining order on his father, as james was not willing to let his son be taken, and showed it by stalking and threatening phoebe relentlessly. even her family members that she'd initially stayed with would have enough.

he was seven when his mother left her family's home once again, taking him with her, and the two lived in an apartment. at first, she worked hard to make ends meet, but daedalus would grow up and begin to help his mother by taking a job as well.

when he was a teenager, he came out to his mother that he was gay, almost afraid of her reaction and praying she wouldn't be like his father in the end. she hugged him, told him she was proud of him; the next day, she arrived home with a cake and some small gifts, and they had a little party with the two of them.

as an adult, daedalus still lived at home, working to help his mother stay afloat as well as put away money for himself to save.

however, all good things must come to an end. the best things tend to do so much more gruesomely.

one day, when daedalus was at work, a group of men broke into the apartment and killed phoebe. they would leave shortly before daedalus returned home, to where phoebe's body was still warm when he examined it.

in despair and grief, he took a knife and slashed his throat, allowing himself to bleed out.

and yet, he woke up hours later. the wound at his throat constantly bled, and yet, all he could remember was a strange dream. something about unfinished business, and of helping someone help others.

and what, pray tell, could be the first bit of unfinished business? avenging his mother. all of the criminals were found and killed, before he took their stolen belongings and sold them. with the resulting funds, he was able to hold a small funeral for phoebe quincy, attended by only himself and a few neighbors that he had managed to get a hold of.

with some money left over, daedalus began to take his first steps to travel. it would take several encounters with the dead and their unfinished business before daedalus would be able to speak with haddatha-kathoth, but that's a story for another time.

#╰ ––––––– ✧ 𝖗𝖎❜𝖆𝖍 : ooc post ❨ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵃⁿ ᵃⁿᵍᵉˡ ʷʰᵒ ˡᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵒᵗʰ ʰᵉʳ ʷᶦⁿᵍˢ ❩#╰ ––––––– ✦ 𝖉𝖆𝖊𝖉𝖆𝖑𝖚𝖘 : hcs ❨ ᵗᵒ ʷᵃᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵘᵖ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉⁿᵈ ᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ❩#suicide mention cw #abuse mention cw #stalking mention cw #murder mention cw #╰ ––––––– ✧ 𝖋𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 : queue ❨ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵇᵉ ᵖᵃᵗᶦᵉⁿᵗ ᵃˢ ᶦ ˡᵉᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ❩

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anime-grimmy-art · 3 years

Photo

What do you do when there’s not much to an AU? You make up your own stuff, ofc. And as is per usual when I make Character Designs, I make up a shit ton of lore too.

The ramblings under the cut, but what I’m really interested in, is what you guys think. Do you guys have any headcanons/ideas for this AU? Let me hear them! Also, if you don’t wanna read on tumblr, here’s the Google Docs link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/151yshHxnb_--P6eMKkwkI2dee9xC_Llb/view?usp=sharing

Before I get into the characters’ roles, here’s some general facts and backstory of their town:

- Basically, it’s Undertale meets Harvest Moon / Stardew Valley. Well, kinda. I at least used that approach for coming up for the jobs for the characters. You know, how there’s always a general store, a doctor, a smithy, etc.

- The usual story of a HM game is that you come to a town that’s way past its glory days and you, as the player/farmer, help them get back to that. The “backstory” of the town is that that already kinda happened. I’ll get into it more in the character description, but basically when Asgore was still mayor, the town got really popular. Then yadda yadda, a certain tragedy happened, two kids died, and the town suddenly got very bad publicity. There was a lot of stuff going on back then, bad reputation being spread and also a lot of law stuff, cos, you know, supposed child murder ‘n all, so Asgore made the decision to shut off the town to ppl from outside. This was in the interest of most monsters living there, because as fun as it is to have a lot of people coming there, most just wanted to live a quiet life. Not everyone was happy with that though, so many moved away from town and some others are trying to get the town back on its feet. But more on that later.

On to the characters:

I’m just gonna start with the skelebros, cos it’s their fault in the first place I got so invested.

Basically, they are what the player is in hm/sdv. They just showed up one day, took over the abandoned farmhouse and began their life there. The two came to town way after it was “closed” and since then a new mayor has opened the possibility for new residents to move in. Their farm helps the economy of the town a lot and the mayor, like usually in hm games, is trying to use that to make the town more known again. The skelebros aren’t really working towards that goal however.

So, now a bit more detail on them individually.

Papyrus:

- The design is mostly based on what’s “canon” in this au.

- He works mostly on the fields and is in charge of the crops. Their fields aren’t spectacularly big, but still big enough to plant a few dozen rows of veggies.

- Paps also helps out a lot in town when he has the time. He helps Asgore with his plants, he goes fishing with Undyne, helps Toriel carry crates around and so on. This is inspired by the part-time job mechanic in HM ToT.

- Unbelievably, in this AU Pap is not an absolutely awful cook. Since he helps out at Muffet’s and Grillby’s a lot, they tend to show him some tricks to cooking. Even though Pap’s not a big fan of the greasy or overly sweet cooking those two do, he picks up a lot.

Sans:

- Again, design mostly based on the “canon” look. Maybe a bit more baggy.

- This is finally an AU this dude gets to rest. Since there are no resets and he doesn’t have to see his bro die again and again, for once in his life, he’s not a sad ball of depression. He’s just a chill and lazy dude that loves to make puns. Though, since he’s not too experienced with the feelings of loss, helplessness or grieving, he still tends to hide behind puns and fakes smiles if he does feel bad.

- Sans is in charge of the animals on the farm. Papyrus begrudgingly gave him that role since Pap’s loud demeanour and hectic movements usually scare the animals. Sans’ relaxed attitude draws the animals to him naturally and even if Pap mostly finds him sleep against a tree, in a stack of hay or on one of the sheep, the animals are always fed, healthy and relaxed, so Sans seems to be doing his job.

- Sans always has a small chic sit inside his hoodie or hat. Is it always the same one? Who knows, maybe.

- Sans also, somehow, can produce eggs out of thin air. Grab into his hoodie pocket, in his pants pocket, in his hat, in his slipper, there’s suddenly always an egg there. On good days he can even make butter or cheese appear.

Gaster:

- He’s literally just a scarecrow in this. Though, if you ask any of the bros why they designed their scarecrow that way, they won’t have an answer.

Frisk&Toriel:

- Frisk is mostly based on what I wore myself as a kid in summer. Just a loose shirt with a cappy. Toriel basically has her ut gown, just with an apron on top.

- Frisk just appeared outside the “magical” forest one day. Napstablook and his cousin found them and brought them to Toriel, who has been taking care of them since.

- Toriel runs the general store in town, but also often takes care of the few kids that still live there.

- Frisk usually helps out in Toriels store, plays with the other kids or sits around at Asgore’s. They’re notorious for nabbing small snacks, mostly from Asgore’s plants. You’ll always find them munching on something.

- Frisk was in town before the skelebros. Since they’d moved in, Frisk often went to spy on their farm. After a small incident with angry chicken, Frisk got to know the two better and now they see them as something between brothers and uncles.

- But Frisk honestly gets along with everyone. Just like in UT, they’ve not only been adopted by Toriel but literally everyone.

- Toriel and Asgore’s relationship is not as bad as in the main game, since, you know, Asgore didn’t kill literal children, but there’s still tension between them. Back when Asriel and Chara died and the whole thing with the bad rep for the town began, Toriel felt betrayed by Asgore focusing more on the town than giving their deceased kids the grieving they deserved. They’re not divorced, but Toriel still moved out and said needed space to think. Now that Frisk is in the picture though, the both of them are slowly coming to even ground and may even be able to talk things out and clear up the uncertainty of their decisions.

Asgore:

-Asgore has his UT Ending / Deltarune clothes, just with a gardener’s belt.

- He’s the previous mayor of the town, but after all the crap that happened, he stepped down from the position. Now he has his own little shop and sells seeds, saplings, homegrown veggies and fertilizer. So, basically what e.g. the Marimba Farm is in HM AP

- His main customer is Papyrus and they’re on friendly terms. Asgore is worried about how much and how hard Pap works, so he often gives him a discount.

- Since his family’s past tragedy, Asgore is kind of nervous around kids. So, when he first met Frisk, he hoped they’d not visit him too often. But to his chagrin, Frisk took an instant liking to him and spends a lot of time at his shop (and steals eats the fresh grown veggies). Now, he’s really grateful for that, because for one, he loves Frisk as dearly as he had his own children, and also because now the tension and mistrust between him and Toriel seem to grow smaller day by day.

Undyne&Alphys:

- I gave Undyne a pretty basic fisher’s outfit. Alphys basically has Elli from HM’s outfit, just a bit more doctory stuff added. She still has her canon lab coat too.

- In essence, Undyne and Alphys have 2 completely different jobs. Alphys is the resident doctor and Undyne runs the fish market.

Two things. Yes, I know Alphys is more a mechanic than a doctor, she fits the aesthetic though, so she’s the doc now. And no, Undyne being a fisherwoman is not cannibalism, think of it more as a shark hunting smaller fish.

- The reason I lump them together is because they act as the local “smithy”. Alphys is still really tech savvy in this (I mean, Mettaton is still part of this AU), so she takes on most problems with electronics and stuff. For Undyne, I didn’t want to lose her Royal Guard’s Captain image, so she’s really good at handling tools (and weapons, but Al doesn’t let her make them anymore). So basically, if there’s a broken tool, you can be sure that either Undyne or Alphys can fix it.

- As for relationships, those two are still an item. Alphys is still really shy and a shut-off, but since Undyne and Pap become best friends, she gets to know the skelebros better. She and Sans especially get along well, since most of the time Undyne and Papyrus are let loose, they sit back and talk about science-y stuff. (no, Sans doesn’t have a background in science but he’s still into sci-fi)

- Alphys has a bit of a strained relationship with both Asgore and Mettaton.

Back when Chara and Asriel died, it was because of “illness” (maybe poisoning?). Alphys feels awful because with her back then limited knowledge on medicine she couldn’t help the two. Asgore doesn’t hold anything against her but Alphys can’t help but feel guilty.

Alphys still built Mettaton’s body in this one. The two had a really big disagreement, because Mettaton hated the fact the town was going to close, and he couldn’t understand how Alphys could feel otherwise, even more so endorse the idea.

Mettaton, Napstablook, Mad Dummy/Mew Mew:

- Napsta and Dummy are pretty self-explanatory, they got straw hats. Mettaton’s outfit is a bit of a joke cos it’s a play on “work at the top and party at the bottom”. The tie has two different sides, one with the yellow red pattern, the other completely red. His “top part” is the business part, because when he’s on tv or in the mayors’ office, you don’t usually see his feet. The bottom is his party/dance part, cos his dancing/entertainment channels mostly feature his legs.

- Mettaton, still a robot, Napstablook and Mad Dummy are all still cousins in this AU.

- Originally, they all lived and worked at the Blook Farm, the Animal Farm of this AU. Mettaton, however, despised that simple live and after befriending Alphys and her building him a body, he left the Farm to pursue bigger things.

- Mettaton runs the local tv network. From weather to game shows, he does it all. He also runs the tailor shop in town that sells his designer clothes and merchandise. After Asgore stepped down, Mettaton also took over the role of town’s mayor and now works towards making the place more known again. Not everybody is happy with him doing that though.

- One of those people is the Mad Dummy. He can’t stand people anyways and he always claims that history would just repeat itself.

- Since the whole family is made of ghosts, they have different dummies and scarecrows they can use to take care of the animals. To mock Mettaton and kinda get back at Alphys for giving MTT such an opportunity, Mad Dummy found the blueprints for the Mew Mew robot and now modelled one of their scarecrows after it.

- Napstablook isn’t fond of taking over obejcts like his cousins do, so he mostly takes care of the snails. Somehow, he can interact with them even when incorporeal.

Muffet&Grillby:

- The two of them run the Inn together. Muffet cooks in the daytime and makes desserts, Grillby manages the bar in the evening.

- The two still can’t really stand each other but working together like this benefits them both because their rivalry just spurs them on more.

- Even though Grillby is a patient person, somehow Muffet is the only person who riles him up enough to retaliate. (Well, maybe except for Sans, he’s a strong second).

So, basically everything between those two is a challenge in some way. Even if Papyrus doesn’t notice, even his cooking lessons are a challenge for them.

- Even though they’re constantly bickering, after working together for so many years, there’s a strange level of respect and trust between them. Even if back when they first started this business, they’d pour salt into an already open wound, nowadays they’d know better and just take a step back from the other or even comfort the other (on very rare occasions only).

Asriel&Chara:

- They be dead. Kinda.

Some Characters that’d live in that town too but that I haven’t made designs for:

- Gerson is the original smithy of the town. He’d grown up in a family of smiths, but he’d always had an appreciation for the sea. That’s why, when the town became more deserted and Undyne had a good enough skill level as smith, he took up the Captains hat and now mostly spends his days out on sea. He also ferries people to places if they need him to. Oh, and just like in canon, Undyne learned most of her skills from him.

- Burgerpants is a poor dude Mettaton basically kidnapped when he was trying to get fame in the city. Now Burgerpants works wherever MTT needs him to, be that as cameraman for the tv shows, cashier in his tailor shop or his slave secretary in the mayor’s office.

- MK is Frisk’s best kid friend. MK’s parents are in charge of shipping the goods out of town and paying the individual people. MK’s the one that usually collects the goods at the end of the day.

- Other than that, there are only a few people in town. I’d imagine the older folks or the really young families stayed in town after it was closed. I think the librarby dude would still run the library. Some Snowdin residents like the stone family or the dogs also might still live there.

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reciprocityfic · 3 years

Note

#5 for amylaurie

5. that emotional moment that you can't find a plot for.

He’d never had a particularly happy life.

From the beginning, it had been marked with tragedy. He adored his mother, from what he can remember. But his memories, unfortunately, are few and far between. He tried to keep her smile, her laugh, the feel of her hugs and her hand wrapped around his tiny one locked away in his brain and his heart, but over the years, they inevitably began to fade. Before he knew it, he couldn’t quite get the tenor of her voice right, couldn’t remember the sweet words she used to whisper in his ear. She was like a beautifully painted picture, rather than a human being.

If there was someone who adored his mother more than he had, it was his father.

His father took her death the hardest. He tried to find a salve for his broken heart in all the wrong places, began gambling too often and drinking too much, frequently leaving his son alone late into the night to go out and drown his pain in whatever way he could. When his father was home, he could hardly stand to be around him. Everything about Laurie reminded him of her - his eyes, his hair, his nose, his smile. He reached his breaking point eventually, and then he sent Laurie away.

School had never been particularly hard for him. He was smart, he supposed, and he didn’t mind the company of his tutor. Boarding school was different, though. He never quite found a way to fit in. He was too quiet, not quite as rich, and Italian, which mattered in a way he didn’t understand. He always found himself at the center of negative gossip, the butt of too many jokes. He hated it, so he stopped trying to assimilate and let himself fade away into the peripheries of his peers.

When his father died, it was almost a relief; at least the man wouldn’t suffer any longer. But again, it threw him into a world of uncertainty and unfamiliar territory. It sent him to America, into the hands of a grandfather he had never met. As he grew older, he’d come to subtly resent his extended family for disowning him and his parents, and wondered if this grandfather would resent him back.

He didn’t. But his grandfather also wasn’t warm, a product of living so many years alone, Laurie supposes. He knows Mr. Laurence has experienced his share of heartbreak as well; there’s a beautiful piano that sits untouched, that the servants tell him belonged to the old man’s late granddaughter. The few times he tried to play it he’d catch his grandfather looking at him in a way that wasn’t particularly pleasant, so he stopped.

John Brooke - his new tutor - was pleasant enough, earnest and determined to please his grandfather by giving him the privilege of an excellent education. They often butted heads when Mr. Brooke tried to teach him; he couldn’t find him in himself to care much about learning anymore. Couldn’t find it in himself to care about much of anything.

Then, he met Jo March.

His grandfather had noticed his melancholy and sent him to a party to try to lift his spirits. He doubted it would work - how exciting could a party in Concord, Massachusetts possibly be, after all - and quickly found an empty side room to disappear in for a while until he’d spent enough time there that he could plausibly tell his grandfather he’d made an effort to be sociable.

It was there that Jo literally stumbled into him, and changed his life forever.

He’d never in his life met a girl like Jo March, one that was so boisterous and bright and unapologetically herself. In his world, every girl was trained from an early age to be prim and proper and polite, so that someday she might make a good wife and a fine young woman. Jo was anything but, and when he met the rest of the March family, he learned that they all were, in their own way - whether it be Meg and her unabashed love for dramatics and pretty things, or Beth sitting at her piano, playing until her fingers ached.

Or Amy, marching around in a pair of fairy wings and declaring that one day, she would be the best painter in the entire world.

His childhood memories of the Marches were all Jo, her fire and harsh edges and iron will, but Amy was always there at the edges, making herself known. She always seemed to be at odds with her older sister, but he thought that was because the two of them were the most alike in a way, like two opposite ends of the same string. He would always take Jo’s side when she recounted their latest feud, of course, but he couldn’t help his amusement at some of Amy’s antics. He remembers, when Jo told him that Amy had burned her novel, how his sympathy for Jo had existed right alongside of his wild amusement that little Amy March had the gall to even come up with such a thing, let alone follow it through.

But even though Amy was there, along with Meg and Beth, Jo was undoubtedly the main attraction, the sun at the center of his universe. His world was filled with her, with her smiles and laughs and hair and voice, with her words and her thoughts and ideas, and soon his heart was, too. He didn’t know much about love, but he knew he loved her. He knew he wanted her to be a part of his life always.

So, he’d asked her to marry him. It was the only thing to do, wasn’t it?

When she turned him down, he almost hadn’t been surprised. A part of him almost expected it; he hadn’t been particularly excited to ask her, after all. Rather, he’d dreaded it, dreaded the moment that the delicate balance they had built would have to tip one way or the other. He’d always known there was a chance she’d reject him.

That didn’t mean it hurt any less, though. He thinks it hurt even more when she left; he’d always known Jo to dive into every challenge head-first, but then she ran away to New York. She ran away from him. So he followed her lead, as he had learned to do so well over those years with her.

Heading back to Europe was much more bitter than it was sweet, and even the grandeur of cities like London, Paris, and Rome couldn’t stop the vibrancy from slowly bleeding out of his life. What had become a kaleidoscope of colors was now just grays and blacks and whites.

So he drank, and smoked, and gambled, and fucked his way through life, and in a macabre way, never felt closer to his father. Except he wasn’t heartbroken, not anymore - he realized more and more that he never expected her to say yes, not really. That she was right, as she usually was - it would have never worked.

He just felt lost. Unmoored, with nothing to anchor him. And he started to believe that maybe he was simply supposed to live his life this way, alone and adrift and apathetic.

Then, Amy March came barreling back into his life.

She was different, of course - namely, she was no longer little. She had traded her fairy wings and braids for beautiful gowns and carefully coiffed updos, and all her lofty childhood wishes had been replaced with a stoic, resigned realism. It would have worried him, that the world had taken her and hardened her, but he knew that the woman that threw her arms around him and happily shouted his name on that Parisian street, the world around her momentarily forgotten, was the Amy he had always known and cared for, however proper she might be now.

And she was proper, but he found it didn’t bother him like he thought it would. Instead, he admired her for it, that she had managed to grow up so gracefully. She was lovely, he decided. Lovely and refined and determined, so much so that it got him in trouble with her, sometimes. She was constantly after him to be better, to stop his drinking and laziness and make something of his life.

She wanted him to respect himself. He’d never really done that; all his life, he’d known himself to be a bother or problem, a thorn in someone’s side. He didn’t really know how to respect himself, but for her, he wanted to try.

The problem was, it was getting harder and harder to leave her side. She painted in his life with strokes that were insistent, but soft, and he found that her world was just as colorful as her sister’s. It was her own, of course; if Jo had been a red flame, then Amy was a golden glow, like sunshine. But he found that he didn’t mind the differences, that he maybe even preferred Amy’s version. It made him warmer than anything he’d known before.

He doesn’t know exactly when he fell for Amy. It happened slowly, gently, and before he could stop it, she’d taken up all the emptiness in his heart, filled it with light and life and love. Not that he would’ve wanted to stop it; he found he was quite content belonging to her. Even when she rejected him that first time, he didn’t try to remove her. He didn’t resent her, as he had temporarily resented Jo. He knew it was futile, that he was irreparably hers, and he decided that if he couldn’t be with her, he would at least make himself someone she could be proud of. He wanted to be someone she could respect, if he couldn’t be someone she loved.

But then, God had smiled upon him - for perhaps the first time - and she’d changed her mind. She loved him, she wanted him, she loved him. And when he kissed her that first time, she ignited something in him that no woman ever had before. He loved her, he wanted her, her and her only, he loved her, he loved her, he loved her.

His heart sang for her with its every beat. Every breath she took gave him purpose, every smile gave him joy, every kiss and moan and tug on his hair made his blood run hot through his veins. He was so full inside, wanted for nothing. He felt like all his life he’d been trying to shove himself into places where he didn’t fit, whether it be at school or with his father. With Jo. But there was a spot beside Amy, one in which he fit perfectly, like it was created with him in mind. And as long as Amy was beside him, he could do anything, be anything, survive anything.

One of the things that he loves most about her is her beauty. He can’t help it; he is only human. A weak one when it comes to Amy. When she hugged him that first time in France, he’d noticed how the autumn sun had caught the strands of her blonde hair, her cheeks flushed from the way she ran to him. He first let himself realize it in her studio, when she went off to meet Fred Vaughn. There was something about the way her cream-colored blouse laid against her pale skin, the way the blue accents brought out her eyes. How her pinned-up hair showed off her neck. He could do nothing but smile shyly at her, any coherent words suddenly caught in his throat. And every time he saw her, he noticed something else that added to her beauty, whether it be the delicate way she sipped her tea, her lips a pretty pink against the white china, or the way she blushed when he complimented her. Eventually, in a room full of women, she was the only one he could see, as captured as he was by her.

Almost three years later, nothing has changed.

He wakes up in the middle of the night to find her side of the bed empty. He’s almost positive he knows where she is, and almost rolls over and closes his eyes. But he can’t get her out of his head, so he gets up and throws on his robe. The moon shines bright enough that he doesn’t need a candle, and he leaves their bedroom, creeping to the next door down the hall. It’s ajar just slightly, and he slips inside.

And there she is, just where he thought she would be. Standing at the window, staring out into the night. She’s barefoot, dressed in a white nightgown, long hair cascading down her back. The moonlight illuminates her hair and skin. She’s breathtaking. More beautiful than any painting he’d ever seen.

Cradled in her arms is their newborn baby girl.

He doesn’t want to startle her, so he knocks gently against the door. She looks over her shoulder and smiles at him, but quickly goes back to gazing at the newest addition to their family.

He walks over to the two of them, placing a kiss on the top of her head before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and embracing her. There are a multitude of reasons why she might be in here - the baby could’ve been crying, it could’ve been time for a change or a feeding, or Amy simply could’ve missed her, could’ve wanted to hold her and watch her breathe. He suspects it’s the last one, but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t want to disturb the peaceful scene in front of him.

He reaches a finger down to their baby, taps at her hand, until she opens her fist and wraps all of her tiny fingers around that one of his. Amy turns her face and nuzzles his shoulder, relaxing against him.

He’d never had a particularly happy life.

But standing here now, both his wife and his daughter in his arms, he knows nothing but.

send me a number and a pairing (preferably laurie x amy) and i'll write you a mini fic!

#amy x laurie #laurie x amy #little women #little women 2019 #amy march #theodore laurence #idk if this even fits the prompt?????#idk i've wanted to write this for a long time and finally took the opportunity #hope you like it anon!#anons are beautiful #thank you for the ask!

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transmasc-wizard · 2 years

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Please rant

hello! hi! anon! I assume this is about the soulmates thing i just posted and RANT I SHALL

(also @samatedeansbroccoli asked: I'd love to hear your 10 hour rant about soulmates. It used to be my favorite trope until the past recent years when I just don't find myself invested in it. I'm answering that here, with anon's ask.)

1) It's unoriginal. Yeah, everything is unoriginal, but soulmates seems to be especially repetitive. OooOOooooOOOH, they're SOULMATES, but I wonder if they're going to work as a couple???????? gasp, they DID!!! I have never once read something with soulmates that actually made me worry in any capacity for the relationship. To me, soulmates feels like an incredibly lazy cop-out so the author doesn't have to develop the romance any more than they feel like it, because it's already ~fate~.

2) It's arophobic. As an aroace, romantic soulmates leaves no room for me. I literally do not feel romantic attraction. Soulmates as a trope erases me and other people like me from existence entirely, or implies we're broken. As someone who's been told dozens of times that I'm sad, weird, lying, immature, dumb, or worth pitying because I don't want romance and don't feel that attraction, I'm really fucking tired of soulmates waltzing in with it's "EVERYONE has this and if you don't youre BROKEN" shit. Even stories where it's just these 2 specific people are soulmates have arophobic undertones, because they always imply that this relationship is Better and More Pure than any other relationship in existence.

3) Even "platonic soulmates" are arophobic. Any world where soulmates are something *everyone has* (which is, like, most soulmates stories) is inherently erasing at least certain aros. A lot of us are non-partnering! Those of us who are don't want a partner, full stop, and are inherently erased by platonic soulmates, too, because that world implies that if your partner isn't romantic, they're platonic.

4) It creates such a stifling world. Any world where you're inherently going to have a partner just seems so... sad? There's no room for being your own person, it's all about who else you're supposed to end up with. It's not about you, the artist or you, the adventurer or you, the person who smiles so big. It's about you, XYZ's soulmate.

5) Like I said, it's sad, and that's never explored right, because people don't see it that way. But to expand: in a world with soulmates, you are not whole. You are inherently less when you aren't partnered up. You're not enough; you're nothing but half a soul, waiting for another entire person to make you actually worth a whole. You rely on other people to be worthy. Is this not extremely depressing to anyone else??? And yet, in the story, soulmates are always seen as something wonderful and amazing.

6) IT COULD BE GOOD IF PEOPLE LET GO OF THEIR GODDAMN AMATONORMATIVE "SOULMATES ARE AMAZING". Where's soulmates as a tragedy, people never being seen as good enough or whole because they don't have their "other half"? Where's soulmates as a horror story, being forced by society and your own conscience into a relationship you don't want, or you're afraid of, or you actively hate? Where's soulmates as a rejection, saying, I will be happy by myself or I will be happy with someone I *chose*; in general, just an I will be happy on my own terms? Where's soulmates as an examination of society, something asking why we hold partners--especially romantic ones--so high on a pedestal? Where is soulmates doing anything new, exploring any of it's possibilities?

TLDR: Soulmates are overdone, arophobic, lazy, sad but not seen as that, and have every single good aspect of them completely ignored in favour of "they're in love because the universe said so <3", and I'm so incredibly tired of them as they are being treated as even remotely good.

#i guess my hatred of soulmates comes largely from the fact that i can see SOOOO many ways I would actually do it good #but yeah in general.... its this #asks #anon #samatedeansbroccoli #(both)#soulmates #tropes #writblr #writeblr #arophobia mention

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daisies-on-a-cup · 2 years

Text

the trouble with heroes born from tragedy is that they will never have a happy ending. they will never escape the tragedy that made them who they are.

comics and movies like to dangle the possibility of heroes finally getting what they deserve in life, often some form of family or love that they’ve been yearning for or been missing their entire lives. of course, in order to show that, there must be tragedy. there must be absence.

absence creates heroes and villains, and it is often the tragic ending that gets them both. a full circle. the beginning is tragic, the middle is tragic, and the end is tragic. there is no reprieve from the cycle.

the tragedy comes from the fact that we know they deserve better. that there is no justice throughout their lives. that, despite being heroes, they are never able to even hope for a savoir or a rescue of some sort from their circumstances. they are forever meant to carry tragedy on their shoulders and suffer under that weight without complaint for the rest of their lives.

and perhaps that’s where the divide between hero and villain becomes apparent. we like to glorify those that suffer in silence. we like the idea of someone being strong despite the absolute pain they live in. that is who we distinguish as our heroes.

but when they choose to do something about it, when they choose to fight back or force change, force a break in the tragedy cycle, that is when we label them as villains. there is no pride, there is no glory, in watching someone crack under the pressure and weight of their circumstances. if they break, if they can’t handle it, then the illusion of the invincible hero shatters.

the world does not want weak heroes. they want strong ones, and villains are the weakest ones. villains are the heroes that could have been but could not suffer any longer.

and then you have the ones in between; the ones who shattered under the pressure but know that they can still be “good”. that they have not broken entirely yet. just merely fractured. this is where we get the concept of anti-heroes; reflections of today’s modern people. people who have suffered all their lives but still strive to make the most of it despite their situations. in a way, these are the most tragic of archetypes; they will never be seen as entirely good, but they have suffered too much and remained standing to be labeled as bad. it is impossible to justify their existence as a hero when they do not align with our expectations of one, and yet they cannot be a villain either because they are still trying to be good despite their failings.

they will never be anything other than tragic. failing heroes.

tragedy follows them all despite these named distinctions. if you are not ordinary, if you are simple and normal, then you are entirely tragic. there is no other way to be if you are a hero, a villain, or someone who toes the line between them both. it is easy to find these differences on paper, in media.

do you save cats from trees? do you conspire to kill senators? have you shaken hands with firefighters and helped the elderly cross the street? do you sell drugs? are you providing for someone in your family? are you currently harboring fugitives, despite it being illegal? are you actively trying to make the world a better place? are you being lazy? do you tip your servers? can you afford to? do you hurt yourself because you think you deserve it? do you suffer in silence because the world thinks you should?

do any of the answers you just gave justify your label? what even is your label based on that?

how can a hero be justified? how can a villain be justified? what even is an anti-hero if not someone trying but not succeeding?

there are no clean and clear lines and that is where tragedy begins. that is where it will always remain. there is no justice. there is no reprieve. this is how it must work lest the thought of right and wrong become completely screwed. if there is no one to model ourselves after, what else are we supposed to be? if there is no tragedy, if we ourselves cannot be tragic, then what are we?

nobody.

there is no existence without the illusion of choice to be tragic.

#tragedy #hero #villain #anti-hero #my thoughts

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howdoesagrapewrites · 3 years

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All yours, Babooshka.

Tags: Yelena x fem!reader, soulmate!au, fluff with a bit of angts, historically completely incorrect, happy ending.

TW: depiction of war, brief mention of sex, homophobic slur a few times, suicide.

Synopsis: War is no place for loving, it never was, but maybe you could love her again in the 21 Century, i mean, only if you could stop feeling so overwhelmed by her only existence, but no matter what, you can't stop something that's meant to be.

Notes: one, i don't like the part 4, it just feels lazy to me, and two, i'm not a native, so please tell me if i made a mistake <3

Part one: When she was beautiful.

Yelena Armanovna, as strong as ten soldiers, the jewel of the battlefield, once was just a kid, her land was destroyed by the war, and as the only child of the house, she was forced to join the army, or else die there, she became a soldier, and she desired that the war wasn't real, that she hadn't being born into this world, that no one had.

Everyone knew that she didn't talk a lot, most of their fellow soldiers didn't even knew where she came from, or if she was even from Russia, the only one she talked to was a nurse, her name was y/n y/ln, and like Yelena, no one knew about her origin, the nurse was way more talkative than Yelena, but she was assigned to other areas, staying with older soldiers, child soldiers, or severely injured soldiers, she was called by the child soldiers "angel", because of her comforting aura in hard times like those.

These women wouldn't be able to meet eachother if it wasn't for the near-death experience Yelena faced one time. She got shot by a hidden enemy, fainted from the blood loss and was taken to the nursery right away, they couldn't afford to lose her. That's when you saw the look in her eyes, that look, and you knew that death was upon the jewel of the battlefield, and you knew that if she died, everyone else will die, you tried as hard as you could to stay cool during the surgery, but you were breaking, because of all the hope that was layed on her shoulders, she was the hope of everyone else in that place to return home someday, even if Russia didn't won the war, her strenght will keep a few alive. So there you were, assisting the surgery of the one that could do something to keep everybody safe and triying to act like it didn't meant a thing. At the end, she survived, and with her, the dreams of returning to your home, you were the one assigned to take care of her, and you were going to make sure Yelena survived.

Part two: Uncanny how she remind her of her little lady.

—"¿Yelena Armanovna?" You asked to the blonde girl laying on the bed.

"Yes" she answered without taking her deep eyes out of the book.

You told her that it was your bed she was in, pointing at your last name on the post-it next to the bed, then showing her the same mark on the bed across the room where it said: "J. Armanovna".

"Ah, i hate when they misspeal it, it's Yelena with a "Y". Well, sorry, but this is the only bed i can sleep in, i'm kinda tall, you can use mine, i will give you a cookie for your kindness." She concluded with a little smile, you notices how her voice was way sweeter than you could think considering how menacing her looks were.

At the end you decided to let her keep the bed, thinking it wouldn't mean anything, how wrong you were, now you could look at her sleeping without moving from the bed, and you did it, you thought it was so creepy and you wanted to stop, but you couldn't, why? Why were you obsessed with the sight of her closed eyes and dry lips at night? Why did she gave you this insane feeling of comfort and loss at the same time? It was so uncanny.

No matter how weird It felt, you couldn't escape from Yelena, she was your roommate, and your classmate in some of your classes, on top of that, she was quite nice, a very smart lady with a pleasent personality, so you had no excuse to be mean or distant whenever she asked about your day, or started a small talk when the professor was late. Along with that sort-of friendship, you also knew Yelena's group; a beautiful girl with raven hair named Pieck, a blonde sarcastic man named Zeke, sometimes his brother Eren, and Hanji, a very excentric and funny person. These people were good friends to you, more than you expected, and that confirmed you: there was nothing wrong about Yelena, and you had no reason to be disturbed by her… Well, to be honest, there it was a little thing that made you upset, Pieck said that Yelena liked Zeke, again, you had no reason to be mad, but you were anyway. Why did you felt so attached to this lady? Why did you did what you did?

It was 2:00 am, you couldn't sleep and you were so ashamed of being doing what that thing, what thing? Writing a love letter, a love letter to Yelena, with a pseudonym, with the first word that popped into your head: "Babooshka". You put perfume on the paper, and you signed it under that name, a scented letter, when you were finished, you let the envelope under your bed, and let it on Yelena's locker.

Part three: How she was before the tears.

She woke up, feeling dazed and almost disappointed for being alive, when Yelena saw you, she recognized you for the stories of her colleagues, "Angel?" She guessed.

"Hello", you smiled and giggle a bit for that nickname, "My name is y/n y/ln, and i will take care of you until you are better"

"If i'm with you means i'm already dead, you only take care of the ones that are almost there." Yelena asserted with a careless attitude.

You wanted to protest, but it was meaningless, you wouldn't make her upset in her state, "May i ask how is your wound feeling? Are you in pain?" You kept that polite and sweet smile on your face.

You kept taking care of Yelena, she healed way too soon, her body wanted to stay alive, but you couldn't say the same thing about her. You got to meet the real jewel of the battlefield, she told you her story, and you told her yours, you two knew everything about eachother, likes, dislikes, and sad pasts. You noticed how Yelena cried softly whenever she thought about her life before, her life before the tears, before the war, when she felt happy. And you also noticed that you could erase that tears, the touch between your soft hands and her ser face, was something magical, something that nobody could understand in that moment, but you two? You knew everything about it, about that love touch, those secret beautiful instants you shared.

You were the one crying when Yelena got better, you were joyful for her recovery, but you knew that she had to go, and after that, you were going to lose her forever, or so you thought. "We can send eachother letters, and we can meet at night." She reassured you while you were laying on her chest, skin to skin, she kissed your forehead and caressed your cheeks with her strong and graceful hands, you purred at her cuddled your body in hers, you liked to kiss her scars, she had so many, it showed how determined she was on the battle and you liked that, the eyes and body of a soldier, and the heart of a suave lover, Yelena was always elegant, her movements could been rough and beastily, but she was soft and neat, whether i'll be fighting, talking, or embracing you. You could say with pride that only you knew this side of Yelena Armanovna, the subtle dominance she always established on her manner mixed with the chivalry and dulcet, that made the blonde woman truly enticing and amusing to anyone with enough luck to discover it.

You knew that your letters to Yelena couldn't be too suspicious, so you took advantage of the fact that no one knew a thing about her, "Babooshka", was the pseudonym you choose, because everyone was going to think that it was from Yelena's grandmother.

Your first letter to her, was this one:

"My dearest Yelena, even though i promised that i wouldn't miss you too much, you have been away for three days and i'm already feeling the lack of your touch, and missing your dark eyes that make me shiver every time. I always thought that i would die without having loved, but you prove me wrong, i love you, i love every part of you, if i could picture perfection, it would be you, your laugh, your hair, the way you talk about home, everything about you would fit the word "perfect".

I swear to God and every star on the sky, that someday i will marry you, someday i will call you my wife, and you will be fully mine, and i will be fully yours. I know that you may think i'm silly because of this wish, but i know in my guts that i will become your wife, no matter how many years or Centuries i have to wait to do it.

All yours, Babooshka."

When Yelena read the letter, she felt nothing but joy, she couldn't use words to describe how in love she was with everyone of your words, and giggled at the idea of marriage, of course she would marry you, she would marry you all the times that she could, she will make you hers every time, and she would submit herself to you every time.

The two lovers kept sending and receiving love letters, and meeting at the comfort and hacen of the night, with only starts and the moon herself as a witness, sharing the intimacy of loving, not always touching two bodies, but the touch of two souls, two tormented souls who found love in a hopeless place.

It has been almost a year since the letters and secret meetings started to happen, Yelena and y/n couldn't be more in love, but tragedy was upon them. A soldier named Floch, started to notice the letters, and one day, he intercepted one, the love words were obviously not from Yelena's grandmother, and with fear of the jewel of the battlefield getting courted by a man who could get her pregnant and useless, this soldier tried to trace the letters, he spend days getting up triying to catch the mailman, and when he did it, he noticed that there wasn't an adress, so it must have been another soldier. After waiting for the guilty one to put the letter on the mail box, he saw y/n y/ln, the nurse, the angel, being a witness of how Satán corrupted the two women into a sapphic relationship, he ran into his superior's arms, showing him the evidence and warning him that given the nature of the letters, he may be grossed out by the devil's pervertion in the two women.

The superior gave orders of keeping Armanovna here, and taking the nurse away, into a convertion field.

Yelena was lucky to hear it, and she ran the fastest that she could into the critical patients nursery, where Y/N was. "Babooshka", she whispered at your ear while grabbing your arm yo take you away, you followed her into the woods. "What happened?" You asked with confution, you saw the look of pure fear un Yelena's eyes.

"They are going to tear us apart, they are are going to take you away, they will torture you there", she was ay the edge of crying, and so did you.

"What can we do?" You couldn't think anything, you were all feelings

"Die, that's our only option, if we run away they will find anyway." The tall one tried to stay calm, failing

"You can't die, you mean hope for everyone!" Your conscience was heavy, you couldn't let Yelena die for you

"Y/n… You are the love of my life, if they take you away, i will kill myself anyway, i can't live without you, i can't just survive anymore, i need to live, when i'm with you i'm alive." Yelena wrapped you in a hug and you felt the tears falling on her face.

At the end, you agreed, Yelena already had a little bottle hidden in her uniform, you both took sips until the bottle was empty, and you kissed and felt eachother like never before, because it was the last time, those were your last hours of life. You passed away after two hours, you were sleeping in Yelena's arms, while she was singing a lullaby from her hometown.

She started with a cracked voice; "I know i do not have silver or gold like many others,

but i promise that i will wrap my bride in silk" she stopped to cry a little.

"and i will love her with such depht,

that all my lacks she will forget,

and she will love until the end… "

Yelena cried louder, and before falling asleep, and looked at your corpse with adoration.

I'm all yours, Babooshka.

Part four: Babooshka

She woke up, ready for the exams, dressed with her usual suit, and put a lucky charm on her pocket.

She was getting to class when she remembered, "my lucky pen is in my locker", so she went to get it, and saw a letter that fell sloppylly on her perfectly organized locker. She looked at the envelope and read "Babooshka", It clearly wasn't from her grandmother, one, because she would have written in "the tongue of mother Russia", two, because she was a bitter old woman that didn't write her, never, not even on her birthday, and three, because it was on her locker, not the mailbox. She opened it go find a love letter that has essence of a known perfume, she received the letter with a strange delight, smelling it and making a place on her locker for the piece of paper.

These letters came one by one every week, and she knew they were from y/n, but Yelena couldn't help to love the letters, and she wanted to keep collecting more and more.

She decided to shoot her shot after two months, when you two were studying together, she kissed your lips out of nowhere, leaving you completely confused and flustered.

"I- i thought you liked Zeke…"

"Oh, i did" Yelena acted so shamelessly "But then you came."

"Do you say that a lot?" You asked annoying trying to shield from your notorious blush

"No, just you, Babooshka. I don't know why, but you make me fee… alive? I feel so close to you since i saw you."

You didn't know what to do, you felt the same way, and you were way too nervous to think a witty reprise.

"Why did you choose the pseudonym Babooshka?" Yelena have been wanting to ask you for a long time.

"For real? I don't know, it just, familiar? I guess"

"Ok, then" she smiled and pulled you closer

"I'm all yours, Babooshka."

#yelena headcanons #yelena #yelena aot #yelena x reader #yelena snk #yelena supremacy #yelena fanfic #aot fanfiction #babooshka #Babooshka songfic

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