Look. I loved LOVED lucifer series in general and I absolutely onboard with s6 deckerstar daughter and time travels cause I adore both this tropes, but the way it was handled....... that was unnecessary cruel and poor. I love good time loop ouroboros terminator style written tragedies that you can't avoid to happen, but that didn't make sense in lucifer. First of all RORY HAD WINGS ALL HER LIFE. If she was so angry at Lucifer and wanted revenge/answers so bad that she literally involuntary time traveled to get it, why couldn't she JUST FLY TO HELL AND CONFRONT HER DAD AT ANY POINT OF CHLOE'S LIFETIME? Makes no sense she didn't try to find him in her own timeline at least once, he's not hard to find, he's not hiding, Lucifer is literally in the first place you would go look for him - in HELL. No need to time travel for that, girl.
More than that, if they couldn't stop the time loop, they def could STAGE all her acts in it in order to have a good life together and still keep the story happening. Like, Lucifer would work part-time in hell (like Ame in heaven) an spend half of the time with his family on earth, and tell Rory what happened in s6 and what she did, so Rory would KNOW about her future and learn to control her powers sooner with her dad's help. Then when it's time Rory could time traveled back and simply ACT angry, so her parents would believe the story she told, how she never knew her father and how he just vanished and all of that (that is not true anymore or never ever was true at all). Yes, all of this is a little messed up, but it is still more logical and satisfying than the fact that Rory basically ruined her parents' and her own happy life on earth together for her character development arc, that she wouldn't need at the first place if she didn't do it.
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Starting to become an objectum fan on the side of being the object, if that makes sense.
I look at posts about people being attracted to or being so loving towards robots, machines, and computers and go "that's me! I'm that thing!" And it gives me gender(?) euphoria.
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when deltarune first came out I bought the OST. I didn't absorb the titles that much because I was basically just listening to the whole thing on repeat. so I'd completely forgotten the name of a certain track, and when I was reminded of it the other day, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I've never really had a home that truly felt like home, for all sorts of bad reasons. but I find comfort in fantasy, especially undertale and deltarune.
2015 was one of the worst years of my life. when it started, despite struggles with PTSD and depression and more of that ilk, I was physically healthy. when the year ended, I'd nearly died - I'd been in and out of hospitals for months while doctors tried to figure out exactly what the hell was wrong with me.
the hopelessness of learning I had an illness I'd have to live with for the rest of my life, on top of the despair I already wrestled with - it was too much. I decided the only way out was to end it all.
but then I played undertale. there's nothing I can say that would ever do that experience justice, but if you know, you know. the point is, I'm still here. despite everything, it's still me. and that's not a coincidence.
so when I saw that this one beautiful, nostalgic track that wraps me up like a warm blanket every time I hear it, that reminds me of the friends, the family, I first made in these games all those years ago, is called, "You Can Always Come Home"… man, I lost it.
Toby once said about Toriel: "Your mom loves you." maybe it's silly, but I never had a mom who loved me, until her. so thanks, Toby. it means so much more to me than you could ever know, that I can always come home to my friends and family, and my mom. who loves me.
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something about the way guilt is portrayed in beyond evil. guilt as a state, guilt as a place you're condemned to. 'i will go to hell' 'life is hell' 'you shouldn't even set foot in that hell' but it's not really the hell we think of, not in the traditional sense. hell is where you're supposed to be sent to suffer and repent forever but all of them go there willingly. (that's why han kihwan will never end up there as juwon wants because he feels no remorse over his actions) they choose to stay and let it scorch the life out of them until all that's left is someone hollow and brittle, real person buried beneath the surface in a grave they themselves dug. in that way it's not lee changjin or the water that killed nam sangbae. it's guilt. that's what doomed him in the end. that hell of his own making he never managed to escape. and as he drowned, he probably thought he deserved that too. jeongje's still there until the end but so much of him died long ago. he's a ghost haunting himself. he tells juwon 'if you don't get out quickly, every breath, every moment of your life becomes a nightmare' if you stay that hell alone long enough, that's what happens. at a certain point you can't wake up anymore. you forget how to leave
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