#a Shame bc i was really looking forward to it lol
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#how long can i keep my impulse control in tact before i cave and buy winds of anthos lmao#i have successfully staved off minekos night market but only becuase the reviews have leaned majorly towards bad#i will probably buy it if it ever gets very discounted lol but.....eeegh#a Shame bc i was really looking forward to it lol#woa is like.....a lot of the reviews are good with caveats#but currently i am Bored and when i am Bored my impulse control leaves with its bindle#also like. its monday. im too tired to find another way to tackle my Bored#buying a game and playing it is very easy#I've been thinking about replaying legends arceus but i cannot predict if i will get bored immediately bc ive already played it lol 😶🌫️#I literally do not have the attention span for games but i like games#like if i get bored of a game before i finish it thats the end i will never play it again lmao#paleo pines for example....i opened ariacotta canyon and then immediately my interest in the game died#faefarm also..... opened the volcano area and immediately got bored of the gameplay loop#don't even know what happened to Ryza 2 i just stopped playing and could never go back again lmao#all my attention span is relying on the scarvi dlc which probably wont be out until at least November 😶🌫️😶🌫️#and the hypothetical gen 5 remakes which could easily end up being shit 😭#aaaaaaaaaaa#i need more hobbies babes
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reader asking forcing. loser!miguel to tell her his desired fantasy and since she’s feeling a bit nice that day she decides she’ll indulge it for him <3 (i feel like he’d so be into roleplay hehe ><)
nonnie ur brain.. hold on.
cw: fem/dom reader, sub!miguel <3, slight mentions of shoe play, talks of punishment and like SLIGHT exhibitionism, miguel being a simp bit what’s new, a kiss 🤭, on da sweeter side, and as per usual: definitely not proof read lol enjoy 💋
a/n: i went tame for this but suggest what role play ideas u have bc miguel is DEFINITELY into that. like imagine him acting as readers maid.. in the maid outfit.. omfg.
“miguel?”
“ah! y-yes?” he answers between a moan. you’re currently sitting on your bed, miguel sitting upright facing you on your floor as you trail your heeled foot up his crotch.
“tell me something,” you start, cocking your head sideways and leaning forward to look at him a little closer. as you lean forwards your breasts spill over the the corset top you have on. you begin to use more friction with your foot, and his moans become more feverish. “what’s your fantasy? entertain me, i’m in a good mood tonight.”
and a good mood it was, you stumbled into your dorm at around 2 in the morning, miguel waiting patiently for you outside your door, kneeling in the empty hall just like you asked, when you texted him rather drunkenly from the club that you wanted to play with him.
miguel’s face flushes, his chocolate brown eyes hiding behind his glasses. “i- ah.. f-fuck. i don’t know..” he trails off, bucking lightly into your red bottom.
“you have one more time to lie to me before this turns into a ball busting session, dweeb,” you spit, halting your teasing and looking at him intensely. you can visually see him fold under your stare. “w-well..”
“go on,” you encourage, slowly starting your teasing with your heel back up.
“i’ve always wanted to- ah! to take someone on a dinner, all fancy. a-and in the middle of the restaurant, she starts to..” he halts, his lips tightening and his face going red.
“i said go on, miguel,” you say nonchalantly, but your heel applying pressure to miguel’s crotch. he lets out a sharp shudder and a string of curses under his breath, and then resumes.
“what we’re doing now.. tease me all dinner, and th-then punish me in the restroom for getting excited..” he sighs out, the pain and shame sending waves of pleasure to his pulsating clothed cock.
“yeah? punish you how? tell your mistress what you want,” he looks at you and moans, your foot increasing its speed and pressure.
“you- you’d make me beg to cum. i- i’d beg you to- fuck. to let me touch you. let me ache to please you, to serve you mistress,” he spill out from his lips, his eyes heavy and breathing shallow from your pleasuring.
“you really are pathetic miguel,” you laugh out. you stop teasing him and stand up, watching him look up at you from his place on the floor. you slowly saunter over to him and step each foot on either side of his legs, lowering yourself down until you’re sat on his lap, directly over his erection. you grab his hair and pull his head back, hovering your lips over his own. “but you know what?” you whisper, looking at his red face and tousled hair. “i like it.”
you go in for a kiss, your lipstick transferring to miguel’s perfectly shaped lips as you kiss him sensually. you pull apart from the kiss and look at him once more, him sitting there utterly dazed and confused, this being your first kiss. you get up and walk to sit back on your bed, looking straight at him, a small wet patch staining his pants. “get out of my room.”
he doesn’t hear from you until the following evening, a text message from you reading:
philemon at 8pm sharp. take a fucking shower and wear something other than hand me downs tonight.
#miguel o’hara drabble#miguel atsv smut#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x you#sub miguel o'hara#you’ve got mail💌#<nerd!miguel3
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sunbathing by the black lake | j. potter
summary: your childhood best friend james is being a little shit but in an endearing sort of way while showing his little acts of love
pairing: james potter x childhood bsf!reader
a/n: my first time writing on this blog!! i have a childhood friends to lovers playlist on spotify if anyone wants to listen to it bc i have a feeling it’s all i’ll write abt lol would really appreciate some feedback! enjoy x
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There's no way to explain how the energy shifts when James is around. It simply does. Just like how you can feel the sun beating down on you right now. Hence, you can sense his approach without as much as a glance at him, your gaze continuing to drift across the notes Remus left for you in the margins of your essay.
James knows that, of course, as he strides across the grass towards you. You have never really talked about it, but seeing how he can also just tell when you're about to enter a room he's in, you both have made it a habit to not announce your presence. There's just no need.
So when he plops down next to you and rests his chin on your shoulder like it's his birthright, neither of you is surprised. In fact, it’s just right. Like puzzles slotting in perfectly.
For a few minutes, the world consists of birds chirping, a warm breeze, and the distant laughter of a group of Hufflepuff girls sitting a few paces away. You flip the page and let out a huff of laughter. James chuckles, his voice low and right next to your ear as he says, "Wouldn't be Moony if everything he touches didn't have a chocolate stain on it."
"It's like he's marking his territory." You try to rub it off with your sleeve, but the smudge only gets bigger. You squint and hold the paper in front of you, trying to discern if it's that noticeable (it is) but with a shrug you decide you couldn't care less. The movement makes James' glasses slide down to the tip of his nose, and he leans forward to make a dramatic face at you as if you had done him deeply wrong. With a playful eye-roll, you push them back for him and get a signature James Potter smile in return.
"Cheers, love." He beams at you and retrieves a balled-up napkin from the inside of his robe before taking it off. You watch him roll up the sleeves of his white Oxford shirt to his elbows, placing the mystery napkin on your lap. You glance at it curiously. "Unwrap it," he says. "It's for you."
Doing as you're told, you perk up with excitement when the content reveals itself. "Effie sent them?" You hold up the mangled piece of apple crumble like it's the most sacred thing you have ever gotten to hold, which it is. James nods, smiling at your happy dance. "I love her apple crumbles. Thank you!"
"You love everything my mum bakes," he says while lying down on his side, right in front of you with his head propped up on his palm. There's a glimmer in his amber eyes.
You give him a pointed look.
"Because everything that lovely woman bakes is the most scrumptious and amazing thing to exist." You take a big bite from the apple crumble to prove your point and your eyes flutter close as you hum. "This is why we're friends, Potter," you say with a mouthful. "No other reason. This is it."
"Oh yeah?" You hear the amusement in the drawl of his voice. Then he cups the side of your face and you look down at him as he distractedly brushes off some crumbs from the corner of your mouth. He looks up at the sky. "That's a shame because this is the last time you will get anything my mum has baked."
James' gaze is still turned upward, giving the sky his utmost interest as if to check if it's still blue. You stare at him in bewilderment. "Are you insane? Why would you deprive me of Effie's food?"
"I wonder how the weather will be tomorrow," he responds flippantly, and you swear your eye twitches.
"Oh, I'm sorry," you say, narrowing your eyes at him. "I forgot you were satan's spawn."
James does not react. You don’t think he will even reply with the way how he’s squinting and examining the very much non-existent clouds in the clear sky. But then he looks at you like you had asked him to solemnly share his meteorology findings with you, and with undeserved earnestness he tells you, "I think tomorrow will be just as sunny as today."
You blink at him. Then give a long-suffering sigh. "I thought you cared about me."
"I do," James says, rolling over to lay on his back with his eyes closed. "Which is why I can't have you lose your mind over some flour and sugar. I'm doing us a favour. Preserving our friendship." He cracks an eye open to look at you. "We've been friends since diapers, not because of my mum’s food, but because I'm brilliant and extremely lovable. Get your facts straight, woman."
You toss the napkin at his face.
He laughs.
Glancing at the last piece of the apple crumble in your hand, you ask, "Do you want it?"
James shakes his head, looking fond. "You assault me and then offer me the last bite?"
"Force of habit," you say flatly. "I can take it back."
He chuckles and takes off his glasses, resting his arm over his eyes. "You can have it, love. Cheers."
You don't have to be told twice and pop it happily in your mouth. With his other arm, he sweeps the scattered pages aside and pats the spot next to him. "Sleep with me?"
You quirk a brow. "Trying to get into my knickers, Potter?"
A breathy laughter escapes his lips. "Are you offering?"
"You wish."
"Merlin, yes." He sighs dramatically as if all James Potter has known in this lifetime was the pain of longing. He grabs blindly for you and pulls lightly at the hem of your skirt. "A man can dream. But for now just nap with me, yea?"
You bat at his wrist but let him pull you towards him nonetheless. There was never any other option, really.
In the blink of a moment, you're nestled into James’ side. His arm is cushioning your head, fingers absentmindedly playing with your hair as he tells you his thoughts on a book he recently read because he knew you liked it. You listen intensely, enjoying the easy conversation and the sunlight warming your skin. The world feels peaceful, and it doesn't take long before sleep pulls you both into a cosy slumber.
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x y/n#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfiction#james potter fic#james potter x you#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#marauders#marauders imagine#the marauders
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nonidol!eric sohn x f!reader
you won't think golf is a boring sport after he's done with you! (but it's not about golf, and it's not about swings. just a young heir with money, love, and a thing for you.)
▷ genre, warnings. technically s2l, country club au, summer break au, starts with him already into you, slight pining? idk, fluff, humor, rich people™, golf lol, swearing, drinking, kissing, it gets like actually romantic, Eric Sohn bc he's so attractive someone help me.
▷ word count. 11.4k
▷ inspired by swing my way (cha cha malone & phe r.e.d.s)
a/n: my submission for the deoboyznet summer on you event! and @mosviqu who implanted the idea of country club rich boy eric into my brain @@
It wasn't like Eric Sohn, heir to his parents' multi-million dollar investment firm, prized shortstop of the UCLA baseball team, planned to spend his entire summer charming his parents' clients and partners. A summer spent at the Beverly Hills Country Club wasn't something new for the young heir either. The rolling, emerald green hills for golf; the clean cement tennis courts; the dim and classy bars were all ingrained in him since childhood. They were environments Eric had learned to thrive in, and when one had the advantage, one was always taught to wield it like a blade.
At least, that was what he was taught. Over the years, he'd also learned that his extroverted personality and charming smile were disarming—and his pretty boy appearance often resulted in others underestimating him. That was their mistake.
"...that trip to Taiwan will be such a great opportunity to explore the relationship between our companies."
Eric clasped Mr. Thomas Tsaur's hand in a firm shake as the two men stood at the final hole of the golf course. Eric beamed. "Yes, of course! I know my mom would love to see the night markets around Taipei; my parents have been looking forward to the trip all year," he said, as easy as breathing air. Of course, he didn't really know if his parents were looking forward to it. If he was the one on his way to Taiwan instead, he knew that he himself would be ecstatic.
During business meetings—and meetings that weren't officially classified as business, but were definitely about business—Eric tried to stay as true to himself as possible. Once in a while, some of the persona he'd built up slipped through the cracks, but there was a reason he liked baseball more than business.
Mr. Tsaur made a pleasant reply back about promising a fun-filled tour of the city with his wife, and the two of them were splitting up. There were offhanded comments about seeing each other for dinner when Eric's parents finally arrived, but that was all that was left of the interaction.
Eric jogged down the hill toward the conventional path where a white-topped golf cart sat waiting for him. His driver and caddy companion for the day was Jacob Bae, a regular worker here at the country club whom Eric had known for at least a couple years now.
But instead of just Jacob and the cart, Eric found that someone else had joined the group.
You sat in the second row of the golf cart with a circular serving tray pressed over your lap. Like some of the other staff members at the club, you wore the standard black, collared shirt and black skort. He'd seen you around this place plenty of times this summer and even greeted you once or twice, but he knew you were new.
Oh, trust that he knew a new face when he saw one, especially when said face was as pretty as yours. The only shame was that you were often assigned to areas where Eric didn't exactly frequent, but he never took himself as the type to give up easily.
You and Jacob were sharing a laugh as Eric approached the golf cart with his golf putter in hand. "Hey guys," Eric chirped.
All the attention flickered over to Eric, but he couldn't stop staring at the way the slight breeze this afternoon was making your hair fall in your face all pretty. Even in a braid, the little strands fell out to frame your face.
"Oh, hi Eric! How was the last round?" Jacob asked as he twisted around in his driver's seat to watch Eric round the back to put his putter away. You had shifted in your seat slightly to follow him with your eyes, as well.
Eric slid the stick into his bag and caught your eyes. His smile widened. "It went well. Same old, same old," he chuckled, bracing a gloves hand on the roof of the cart. "When'd you get here, Yn?" He asked you with a nod of his chin.
You perked up at the sound of your name. Cute. "Ah, just a few minutes ago," you said. You sheepishly gestured to your empty tray. "Haknyeon dropped me off a few holes over to deliver drinks, and then I saw Jacob over here and walked over to catch a ride back to the clubhouse."
"I can't believe he just ditched you," Jacob chortled.
Eric circled around the cart to take the seat in the front beside Jacob. "He ditched you?" He frowned, leaning his arm over the back of the seat to look at you.
As the cart began making its smooth return down the path and over a small bridge, you smoothed your braid over your shoulder. "No, no! He didn't ditch me; we were just headed in the same direction until we… weren't," you mused. "I mean, if Cobie wasn't here, a walk back wouldn't have been the worst thing anyways."
"I guess," Eric agreed, biting his lip. "So, uh… ever played golf before?"
"Golf? It's been a while, but yeah, I've driven the occasional golf ball across a green."
From the driver's seat, Jacob slapped his right hand down on Eric's shoulder. "Yn-ie! This guy's one of the best casual golf players you'll probably ever meet. His swing? So clean."
Eric chuckled, clasping a hand on the back of his neck, when he felt your attention flicker back to him again. "I'm no pro…"
"I'll have to see that for myself then," you said with a smile.
The golf cart slowed to a stop in front of the doors into the main kitchens of the clubhouse proper. Because this main kitchen was so large, they were given their own set of doors directly to the outdoor courts and beyond for easy access. While Jacob would drop you off here, he would have to continue onward for Eric's proper spot.
You clambered out of the golf cart, poking Jacob in the shoulder as you went. "Bye, guys! Thanks for the ride, Cobie."
"Bye, Yn!" Both boys chimed together. When you disappeared behind the swinging kitchen doors, Jacob pulled the cart back onto the main road to carry onward.
Eric settled into his seat to face forward once again. He lifted the cap off his head and carded a hand through his hair to let the strands, dampened with sweat, dry a bit. "I didn't know Yn was allowed to work the golf range," he commented as innocently as possible.
Jacob made a small humming noise. "Yeah, we're short a couple people out here because of the Ferndale event going on down by the gazebo."
"She wasn't sent there?"
"Did you want her to be sent there?" Jacob grinned slyly at the young heir, who turned his gaze elsewhere.
Eric coughed. "I didn't say that."
His companion still would not wipe that knowing smile off his face, even as he slowed the golf cart to a stop and Eric hopped out to collect his equipment from the back. "I didn't say you did," he snickered as Eric walked away.
He didn't give Jacob the satisfaction of an answer, instead, saying a "thank you" for driving him over his shoulder, before ducking inside the clubhouse locker room.
Jacob shook his head in amusement and began making his way further down the path to return the cart. Silly, silly kids.
You didn't realize country clubs were real until you were sitting in the office of the Beverly Hills Country Club's hiring manager and being hired. That was about a month ago, and no, you still didn't believe it was real. The entire training experience, in fact, had swept through like a fever dream.
The summer season had just begun, though, and they had taken you on in a rush of desperation. You hadn't failed to notice how relieved the hiring manager looked when you told him you'd worked as a waitress at an upscale wedding venue before you moved cross-country, and knew how to carry a drink platter and dirty dishes. That was part of the reason you'd been hired on the spot. You'd also mentioned your extensive knowledge of how to fold cloth napkins into swans, and you liked to think that was your true selling point. (Don't ask, the last part was because you had been very bored while waiting in the backroom during a wedding.)
And while you cared little about cleaning pools or catering to rich prick egos, you did care about the crisp green bills that graced your eyes with more frequency than a Superman actor on Hollywood Boulevard. There was also the possibility to gain some more experience in the dining and catering world; if you were lucky, you could butter up your manager to let you help out in the kitchen some.
After all, that was why you were here so far from home.
"Yn, you've got company at table five," Haknyeon said as he passed by you on his way into the kitchen.
You gave a nod out of instinct. You brushed your hands against your black waist apron, absentmindedly reaching up to also smooth out the black vest on your upper half. Usually when you worked at the club's restaurants and bars as wait staff, your uniform consisted of a white button down under a black vest, followed by a black skirt and apron. It was classy and chic, and definitely added to the expensive atmosphere.
You could see table five in your section up ahead. It was a little early into dinner service, but there were still people who came in. To your surprise, the company at table five was none other than Eric Sohn himself, along with two others you recognized as his parents. They were dressed casually—meaning semiformal. It was something out of a dinner cruise, with Eric's dark brunette waves styled effortlessly messy and the top three buttons of his dress shirt undone to reveal the slightly bronzed, toned skin beneath—
You cleared your throat, plastering a smile on your face as you approached the table. "Evening, everyone. Mr. and Mrs. Sohn," you gave a small greeting bow to his parents, then swiftly doled out little napkins for their drinks. "It's nice to see you on the grounds again today."
"Oh, Yn! It's very nice to see you this evening," said Mrs. Sohn with a delicate flourish of her wrist.
"Yes!" Mr. Sohn chimed in, "What have you been up to? Eric says he saw you on the golf range today."
Your eyes darted to Eric's, then went back to his parents when you realized his eyes were on you. You laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and bracing the end of your serving tray against your waist. "Oh, uhm, yeah! I was just summoned down there to get some drinks to the Santos family—you know them, right?"
Recognition lit up in Eric's mother's eyes. "Yes, yes! Marina and her kids! Ah, well that sounds nice; I'll have to see if I can bump into her at the spa or something. Eric gave you a ride back in his cart, didn't he? The walk back is awfully far."
You nodded. "Yeah, of course. He was with Jacob, so I just hopped in the back and rode back with them here."
"I still owe you that golf date," Eric cut in smoothly, the hand with his Rolex draped over the back of his chair. His smile was casual, innocent, the kind that so easily could make anyone do his bidding.
"Golf date?" His parents glanced curiously between the two of you, and you felt heat rush up to your cheeks.
"It was just an offhand comment," you said sheepishly. "Jacob was telling me about how great of a golfer Eric is and I said I wanted to see his swing some time." Before anything else could be said on the matter, you tucked your tray under your arm and replaced it with your notepad and pen. "Can I get you anything to drink? An appetizer to start?"
That drew away the conversation promptly. It wasn't like you were uncomfortable with the idea of going on a date with Eric Sohn, it just wasn't that simple. Though the club officially encouraged good relationships between staff and club members, they didn't exactly encourage the romantic kind of relationship. Obviously, it would be impossible to enforce a no-entanglement policy completely, but you wanted to stay on your manager's good side.
You nearly folded in half over the counter of the tiki bar at the pool. Sweat streamed down the side of your face, and you were pretty sure your baby hairs looked akin to a lion's mane under your white baseball cap. Thank god the club didn't force you to wear a black colored hat instead; the black polo and skort were death enough.
Jacob chuckled as he passed you a clean, damp towel that had been soaking in ice water. "Before you get heat stroke," he said, then returned to preparing a tray of drinks someone had ordered at the hot tub.
You thanked him profusely, dabbing your face and neck with the cool blessing. "Sheesh," you groaned. "I think I need to reapply my sunscreen soon. How are you out here all the time, Cobie?"
He grinned with a half-hearted shrug. "Well, I work with cold drinks and I'm under the shade. And—" he tapped the handy little fan clipped to one of the structure poles of the tiki bar, "—this beautiful work of engineering."
"I need one of those umbrella hats and squirt bottles kids bring to Disneyland," you grumbled and plucked yourself up from the bar. You returned the towel to Jacob so he could toss it into the soiled towel bin on the other side of him. You watched as he finished up filling the tray and whistled at the pool waiter who had ordered it for the group at the hot tub.
As the waiter walked away with the drinks, you thought aloud, "How could they stand to be in the hot tub in this heat?" From here, you could see the group of girls gathered in the bubbling jets of the hot tub at the far end of the pool in their bikini tops and Gucci shades.
"They're not standing—they're sitting."
You sent Jacob an unimpressed look, to which he simply smiled wider.
"Hey guys!" Ji Changmin huffed and puffed as he collapsed onto the barstool next to you. He had a towel hanging around his shoulders and a white sweatband holding up his dark bangs dripping with sweat. "Can I get an ice water, hyung?"
"Yeah, man," Jacob said, already dumping a scoop of ice in a cup.
"You alright there, Changmin?" You glanced over at the club's dance instructor with barely concealed amusement.
Changmin took the corner of his towel to dry the dribble of sweat making its way down his forehead. "Whoever thought it was a good idea to do hot Zumba in the height of summer needs a reality check. I think I'm dying."
As one of the country club's primary dance instructors, not only did Changmin lead all of the dance activities on the grounds, he was also supposed to take over any dance aerobics classes like said hot Zumba. You knew it wasn't his favorite, but it was still funny to make faces at him through the window as he did can-can kicks in leg warmers with all of the rich moms.
You leaned down to check if he had the leg warmers on. He did not. At least he finally had the good sense to break uniform.
Jacob slid over an ice-cold glass of water, and Changmin drained it like a man who trekked through the desert for seven days. You glanced at Jacob's digital clock on the counter behind him—he kept it so he could be on time for all of his breaks.
"Oh shit," you said, quickly fixing your cap and adjusting your hair, "time for me to get back to work."
Changmin straightened. "Where are you stationed today, Yn-ie? Chanhee and I wanted to come pick you up later for dinner before we have to come back."
"That's right!" Jacob slapped his palm to his forehead. "We have to all be back here for the banquet. I almost forgot, damn it."
You cocked a brow at him. "Wow, you, Jacob Bae, almost forgot about the major event all of our jobs are riding on that's taking place tonight?"
A smile curled onto your face when Jacob narrowed his eyes at you. "Don't you have work to do?"
You let out a laugh and began backing away from the tiki bar and your friends. "Kim has me at the ice cream bar until the end of my shift, Changmin. I'll catch you boys later!"
Jacob and Changmin raised their hands in twin waves to you as you walked away. If you remembered the time on Jacob's clock correctly, you had about fifteen minutes to get up to the indoor ice cream bar for your shift.
Tonight, the country club was hosting a banquet for one of the business men here. It was supposedly one of the most important events for the club's reputation, so it was all hands on deck. Everyone from Chanhee at the spa to Haknyeon in the kitchen were called upon to clock into work once again tonight to help out. You were glad you weren't a part of the set-up and takedown committees, but you were expected to wait on the banquet. Jacob was supposed to be bartending tonight, as usual, and your other friends and coworkers would be waiting alongside you.
You glanced up on your walk out of the pool area and nearly tripped over the soles of your sneakers.
Coming in hot (literally) were none other than Eric Sohn, Lee Hyunjae, and Lee Juyeon—all of whom were very much shirtless. Swim trunks hung low on their waists, their stomachs carved like triplet Michaelangelos. Seeing shirtless guys at the pool wasn't new for you, but these guys were actually around your age.
Eric saw you first and waved. "Yn, hey!"
"Hi guys," you greeted back with a shallow nod of your head. "Nice day out for a swim."
"I know, right?" Hyunjae raised a hand to shield his eyes from the unforgiving summer sun. "You must be baking in that uniform, Yn." He raised his chin to gesture at the all black attire.
"I don't suppose you'd be able to join us?" Juyeon smiled. He knew you probably couldn't join them because you were clocked in, but he had always been pretty nice nonetheless. He and Hyunjae were cousins, and the Lee family was well-known around here for being big names in the legal sphere, as well as being one of the larger families. There was another cousin of theirs around their age running around here somewhere, too.
You gave a helpless shrug. "Duty calls, unfortunately."
"Yn, hey wait—" Eric caught your attention as you were about to continue walking up toward the main clubhouse. He flashed you that smile again, the one that made your stomach do flips and would convince you to do flips for him if only he asked. "You won't happen to be working at the banquet tonight, are you?"
"How'd you guess?" You replied good-naturedly. "Why do you ask?"
He began walking backwards toward the direction his friends had drifted off to, his smile tilting up slightly. "So I know which cologne I should wear."
And it definitely wasn't a trick of the summer sun that made you see him wink at you.
"He's into you."
"He is not—" you wrestled your sleeve up your forearm and made a frustrated noise when the button would not go through, "—into me."
Chanhee gave you a nice, slow eye roll just so you would see it, and he yanked the sleeve away from you so he could roll it up himself. "A lot of men around here like smelling nice, but no one pulls out the Acqua Di Gio just for the service girl or a business banquet," he hissed as a fellow waiter rushed past you two in the narrow corridor. "Jesus, why is this button such a bitch?"
"That's what I'm saying," you hissed back at him as the two of you both struggled to fix your sleeve. "Not the cologne thingy—I hate how you're able to just take a whiff and name the cologne. What kind of demon nose do you have?"
Chanhee sighed and collapsed against the wall opposite to you when he finally managed to get the sleeve right. The two of you were currently on break, not hiding, in this corridor. In T-minus two minutes, you would both have to be back out in the hustle and bustle of cleanup or after-party drinks in the lounge. Because the main course had finally been served, a lot of the waiters were allowed to go on break. The banquet thus far had gone relatively smoothly, other than the fact that when you had served Eric all of his courses, he'd made sure you practically melted on the smell of his cologne.
It wasn't your fault you had to bend down close to him to not spill the hot food. And it wasn't your fault that he chose to put his mouth right to your ear when he told you a joke, masking it as asking for more water.
You couldn't decide if you were going to giggle or let your knees buckle at that moment. Thank god you managed to laugh behind your hand and hustle away before anyone noticed.
But that was besides the point. The point was that Chanhee had also passed by Eric, caught the faint trail of Aqua De Whatever, and connected some dots.
"If you want a demon, you talk to Changmin," he said. "I just know my shit. And I also know that you only break out the Acqua Di Gio when you want to attract someone, and based on the fact he's currently seated around about fifty other businesspeople…" Chanhee made a wild, desperate gesture with his hands, eyes widened. Are you getting this? He seemed to ask. Because I will smack you if you aren't.
You fanned yourself, justifying it by thinking about how hot the back hallway was and this outfit was, rather than admitting that it was because Eric was hot. "Okay, okay. Come on, we have to get back out there," you said, already turning your heel toward the door.
"I'm just saying that clearly he's been trying to tell you something," Chanhee added as you both broke out of the hallway and into the kitchen. He grabbed a circular serving tray from a stack on the counter next to him to hand over to you.
"Well, what do you suppose I should do with that?"
He pressed his lips into a thin smile, taking hold of a small, empty cart and pushing it ahead of him. "Just keep an open mind, darling."
You and Chanhee separated at the kitchen doors out into the banquet hall. While he would be a part of cleaning up, you needed to head over to the next-door parlor where the party had moved post-dinner. Business would continue as usual, just with a few more drinks and pool involved.
The parlor room was arguably one of your favorite rooms in the club with its cozier atmosphere created by the evergreen walls, tiffany-shaded lamps, and dark oak furnishings. It was also outfitted with a hearth (unused during the summer and spring) and a billiards table. Most of those who had chosen to stay had migrated with a certain crowd of people they planned to continue chatting with. Your job, as well as the few others recruited to the parlor, was to be a fly on the wall until somebody needed something. If tips were passed around, you were free to pocket them.
You were probably standing and waiting for only five minutes before you saw Eric stand up from where he was on the far side of the room. He shouldered his suit jacket off and draped it over the back of his armchair, exposing the white dress shirt and black vest beneath. Whew, he was wearing a full suit to this event? You wondered how he even survived, but all conscious thought flew out the window when he caught you staring and started smirking to himself. The smug, little expression stayed etched into the sharp planes of his face even as he strolled over to the pool table and lined up his shot.
You wondered—and it was just a thought—what it'd be like (possibly) for him to lean over you—
"Excuse me, miss?" You shook out of your daze and remembered why you were here. Unfortunately, it was not to admire the young heir watching you from the other side of the room, but to serve guests.
For the next couple of hours, your job was exactly what you did. You had been so focused on running back and forth from the bar in the other room and back that you always seemed to have missed Eric trying to catch your eye again. If he wanted drinks, he had to suck it up and ask someone else who just happened to be near him instead.
As the evening dwindled into a sweet, humid night, the amount of guests also began to trickle down. You had grabbed a rag on your way back to the parlor room and said goodbye to your coworkers on their way out. Some still lingered for last minute clean up, and though you were technically done for the night, you wanted to wipe down anything you had missed. It was something simple that you could do to help out a colleague, and it wasn't like you were in a rush to go home.
When you walked back into the parlor room, however, you blinked—surprised—at the sight of an individual left. He leaned against the billiards table, one hand holding the edge of the suit jacket draped over his shoulder and the other scrolling through his phone.
Eric glanced up from his device and pocketed it at the sight of you. "Hey."
"Hi," you said back. "Uhm, can I get you anything—"
"Oh, no no. I'm good." He shook his head, pushing off from the table. He shot you that signature boyish smile of his and your heart began doing cartwheels. "I just wanted to ask if I could give you a lift home."
You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Truthfully, you were caught off guard, stunned. This wasn't what you were expecting from him.
He saw your hesitation and let out a sheepish laugh, cupping the back of his head. "Sorry, this is so out of the blue. I… it's a little late out right now, and I didn't know if you had a ride or not. I know you're not usually scheduled to work so late."
"You know my schedule?" You blurted. Though, the thought did warm you and amuse you.
His eyes widened. "I mean, uhm, definitely not in the creepy, stalkerish sort of way! I uh, I like to think I pay a lot more attention when it comes to you." His admission didn't do much to slow the racing organ in your chest cavity. You always saw Eric Sohn as one of those smooth and collected young men who were born to charm. But seeing him flustered and tripping over his words because of you?
You ducked your head slightly, flattered and most definitely charmed still. "I'd really appreciate a lift home, Eric."
You both shared a smile in the slightly dimmed, slightly warmed lights of the parlor room.
Once you had finished glossing over the surfaces of the parlor room with your rag to catch any rings made by perspiring liquids, your manager dismissed you for the night. Eric told you he would meet you out front where he would bring his car around for you. You found yourself standing at the edge of the curb with a gentle, yet rare summer breeze wafting through your hair. You had your bag slung over your shoulder, and you grasped the strap and fidgeted with the material.
A car pulled up to the circular driveway—it was a sports car. The Corvette, sleek and aerodynamic, was doused in a shiny orange coat of paint that glimmered even in the night. The passenger side window rolled down so you could see Eric leaning over the center console and waving to you.
"Hey, hop in!" He said to you with a grin, lowering the music he was playing.
Gingerly, you walked up to the car and managed to maneuver yourself inside. The passenger seat was lined in soft black leather, and the inside of the car made it all the more easy to suffocate on that delicious cologne of his.
Eric had ditched his suit jacket and vest in the backseat of the car, leaving him in just his white dress shirt and slacks.
"Nice car," you whistled lowly as you buckled yourself in.
His mouth tilted upward. "Thanks," he said. He fussed around with his phone for a second before passing the device to you. "If you wouldn't mind putting your number and address in."
"Oh." It was a brand new contact page. You didn't question it, swiftly inputting all of the necessary information before returning his phone to him.
Eric took a peek at the address, then pulled out of the country club's driveway. You didn't live too far away from the club, luckily. It was only a few minute's drive, but the walk sometimes felt a bit longer. California didn't exactly have the most convenient public transportation system, and in an area like Beverly Hills, it was near impossible to find a reliable bus or train service.
"Any music preferences?" He asked you quietly.
You shook your head. "I'm not super picky. What you have on is all good with me."
"I have to confess, Yn," he said with a half smile, eyes darting toward you, "that I was trying to steal your attention all night."
Your stomach flipped and you suppressed the smile that threatened to crawl onto your mouth. "Really?"
He laughed. "Yeah, but obviously, your work ethic beat me out, as well as my own luck."
"Any reason for seeking me out?" He'd technically had your attention all throughout the banquet, but he had also needed to entertain and chat with the other people around him. While the after party was sometimes used for business discussion, too, the banquet dinner itself was the main event.
"I mean, besides wanting to talk to the cute girl eating up all my thoughts?"
He was turning onto your apartment complex's street all too soon. The car slid into a parking spot along the curb, and he twisted in his seat to face you. "I really want to take you out, show you a good time. It doesn't have to be something fancy if that's not your vibe; we can always start with golf."
You let the smile bloom on your face at the reference to the "golf date" you both had yet to schedule. You still wanted to see his swing, after all. "Then it's a date," you said, "I should have a free day two days from now, if that works for you."
Eric bit his lip. "I'm all yours, hon."
Before you could start doing somersaults from excitement, you resolved yourself to getting into your apartment first. "Well, thank you again for the lift, Eric. You have my number?"
He nodded. "Never losing it."
You grinned something fond. He grinned right back at you. "Get home safe."
"I will. Good night, cutie."
You slammed the car door shut and left Eric to his lonesome. Through the passenger side window, Eric watched as you disappeared into your apartment complex, safe and sound. He had almost given into the urge to ask if he could walk you up, but it was a miracle you had even taken him up on his offer to drive you home.
He pulled up your contact and sent you a text so you could have his number, too, as soon as possible. He deposited his phone into the cup holder, then punched the roof of his car with a shit-eating grin on his face. He'd scored your number and a date in one night—damn right, he did.
You had reasoned with yourself that this was okay based on the fact that you weren't on company time.
"Shoooooot," you whistled with a slight arch in your brows and applause. You tracked the distance Eric's driving shot sent the golf ball flying, and in the early morning sunlight, the white sphere disappeared over the crest of green hill.
You figured being courted by a club member during your own free time was a loophole you could live with. Especially when such a loophole looked so good swinging a golf club.
His follow through was just as beautiful as he was, his arms lifting the golf club over behind him from the arc. When he lowered the club to turn back to you, he was beaming. "What's the verdict?"
Your golf club was currently acting as your arm rest as you staked the head against the grass. "I don't know, Eric," you sucked in a breath, teasingly. "I think you could've gone pro."
He laughed then, eyes narrowed into glorious upturned crescent moons. "Thanks, cutie." He made a gesture to the tee. "All yours."
"Let me preface this by saying that it's been awhile," you were quick to say as the nerves suddenly bubbled up into your chest and made you wanna do a jittery shuffle. You should not have let Eric go first.
"No worries," he chirped. "Why don't we practice first?"
Yes, practice. Thank god he knew where your head was at.
You eagerly agreed, and set your golf ball up on the tee. Nervously, you smoothed your gloves down the front of your pleated golf skirt. You lined up the face of the golf club with the ball and pulled it back a millimeter—
Then chickened out.
"Performance anxiety," you grimaced to your date.
"Oh, well, that's okay!" Eric set his golf club down on the field and made his way over to you. "Can I help?"
Yes. "Please do," you chuckled, leaving room for him to take your club.
But instead, he shook his head. "No, no. You won't learn anything from just watching, silly goose."
He grabbed the golf club over your hands and lined both of your bodies up correctly. Your breath hitched at the feeling of his front pressed against your back. His mouth was so close to your ear again, and there was that damned cologne making you see hearts.
"Sorry, is this okay?" He asked softly.
You gulped, nodding. "Yeah. Perfectly okay." You wondered if he could feel your heartbeat quicken like a drum crescendoing. If he wasn't careful, your heart might just fall out and run to his arms.
From this position, Eric smoothly guided you through the steps of a perfect swing. The pullback was cranked over your shoulder, then the club would swing straight through, followed by the arc back over your other shoulder and the appropriate turn of your body. As he had explained to you, getting the perfect swing or shot in sports mostly came down to the follow through. If one could not back up their initial movement, then why make the shot?
"—and you turn your body—yeah, just like that," he praised as you automatically rotated yourself from the side to the front, the toe of your foot digging into the ground and turning with you. "That's beautiful."
He backed up from you then, giving you some space. It suddenly felt like you were missing something with him gone. "You should try it now!"
You took a deep breath in as you lined your golf club up with the ball again. Cranking the club back over your shoulder, you swung it down and back up again. When the face of the club met the ball, it did so with a resounding PING!, and the ball went sailing.
(That sound… mwah. The sweet, sweet sound of triumph.)
"You did it!"
"I did it!"
It hadn't gone as far as Eric's had, but it had definitely traveled farther than it would have without his help. You whirled to him, clasping his hand with yours as you both shared equally radiant smiles. A giddiness flooded into you, and no doubt into the glow of your face.
"See? Not too bad," he said, squeezing your hand.
"All thanks to you," you pointed out.
He shook his head, using your linked hands to lead you back to where your golf bags were waiting a little ways back by the cart. "Nah, you had it in you, Yn. It was just performance anxiety, as you said."
The two of you each grabbed your own bags and hiked them over your shoulder to head down the hill and find your respective golf balls. From this view, you could see that the other patrons of the club were slowly trickling out onto the acres surrounding. It felt strange to be here as not a staff member, but as a guest instead.
Eric piped up, "Is it weird that I was hoping you would ask for my help?"
"Not really," you mused, then meekly added, "'cause I was kind of hoping you would offer your help."
He looked about as happy as you felt, and he swung your hands together between you.
It hit you, then, that you were still holding hands. But you didn't let go, and Eric didn't say anything. He just helped you find your golf ball, line up another shot, and hugged you from behind like it was nothing.
From across the pond, Jacob, Changmin, Chanhee, and Haknyeon pulled up over the bridge. The four of them were all piled into a golf cart, and Jacob stopped it just over the crest. They all knew about where you were today and why you were dressed in proper golf attire rather than the country club uniform. They watched with wide eyes (and maybe a camera or two) as you and Eric had a good time.
"Young love," Jacob sighed fondly from his spot in the driver's seat.
"I think it's gross," Changmin giggled. He yelped, furiously rubbing the place on his shoulder that Chanhee had whacked. "Hey! I was kidding!"
Chanhee rolled his eyes. "Let them have their moment. I'm glad Yn-ie let herself have fun with him."
"They look like they're having quite the time," Haknyeon said. "They're cute."
Changmin poked his head in between Jacob and Haknyeon from the backseat. "Just a thought, but what if we turned on the sprinklers like in High School Musical 2?"
An exchange of looks, a deep consideration… "No," they all chorused. They would get their asses kicked for that.
You were on lunch break when Changmin practically crashed onto the bench next to you with a crazed look in his eyes. "You. Me. Spa. Now."
You couldn't even say goodbye to the sandwich you were eating before Changmin grabbed your arm and dragged you across the club.
"Changmin! What the hell—"
"I'll explain in a second!" He hissed back at you while ducking into the service entrance of the spa.
The backdoor led to a staff break room, where Chanhee was currently (coincidentally) seated on a stool eating a box of Pepero while watching a cartoon on his phone. The man glanced up from his phone at the loud commotion, one cheek full of his snack, and he blinked. "You're lucky I'm not with a client right now."
"Yeah, yeah," Changmin said, dragging you and a stool over to Chanhee at the same time. He pushed your shoulders so you would take a seat. Changmin placed his hands on his hips as he stood before the two of you. "You're never gonna guess what I just overheard."
"What?" You and Chanhee asked at the same time.
"Well, you know Clara?"
Chanhee jumped right in. "The one fooling around with that Brian Yang guy. He's the heir to that one corporation monopolizing SIM cards or some shit."
How the hell…?
Changmin's head bobbed vigorously. "Yes, yes! That's the one. Anyways—I was walking past the manager's office and they were talking loud enough to hear with headphones on. Apparently, Clara and Brian had a nasty, nasty split, and Brian got her fired."
Silence.
Chanhee's eyebrows flew up. "Like… fired-fired?"
A grave nod. "Fired-fired."
You held your head in your hands. "Just because of a break up?" You asked. "Clara is such a nice girl."
Your friend's lips were pressed into a line. "Doesn't mean he's a nice guy. I dunno—" he threw his hands in the air and let them flop back against his legs, "—it's fucked, man. He said it was, like, too awkward to be around her all the time since he was here all the time. And because his father is one of the stockholders of the country club, Manager Kim could do little but do his bidding."
Your heart had fallen into the pit of your stomach. Drama like this didn't really happen often here, but there was always something going on.
You always thought there were assholes here, but sometimes they just kept on reminding you of it.
"And now I'm fooling around with one of the club members," you thought aloud. The realization hit you, a golf ball to the face. "Oh my god."
Chanhee's hand came up to your shoulder and gave you a soothing, warm squeeze. "Eric seems like a good guy, Yn-ie. You never know."
"But you really never know," you murmured. There was a reason why the club discouraged romantic relations between club members and staff. Perhaps this time, it wasn't about work productivity, but about keeping your damn jobs. You needed this job. You needed it so desperately because of the money, the opportunities, the connections. Not to mention all of the people you'd befriended here… it didn't seem right that you were scared of what Eric could do to you, but reality was settling in fast.
The Sohns were a major shareholder in the club, which meant they could pull strings like tying a shoelace.
But Eric is good. He's been good, you reasoned.
Changmin crossed his arms as he leaned back against the wall behind him. "You should talk to him. At the very least, you only went on one date, so it's not like you're completely involved yet."
That was a good point. You were going to run with it.
When Eric invited you over to his house, you should have known you were about to drive your beat up sedan into the driveway of a palace, not a house. A house was for normal people, not whoever the Sohns were, you knew that much. To say you were intimidated by the massive front lawn, iron gates, and limestone arches and columns would be an understatement. Maybe you should have worn something nicer.
You pulled up to the curb of the roundabout—he'd mentioned to you that you could just park there. Apparently the garage was a little inconvenient for guests, but you weren't complaining. The front of the house was a marvel to look at, and wherever that garage was would have left you unable to fully soak in this modern wonder. Plus, you had some time to pull yourself together before seeing Eric.
The plan was… no plan, really. He wanted to hang out with you, and you'd mentioned your love for cooking. Thus, he proposed a miniature cooking class in his kitchen, along with dinner on the patio. It sounded nice. It also sounded great when you remembered what you needed to talk to him about. (Yay.)
It's not a big deal. Eric's cool.
You finally managed to trek your way up to the front door and you booped the doorbell. It was one of those loud bells that must have echoed throughout the house, because you could clearly hear it from the outside.
A couple minutes later, you heard the locking mechanism come undone. The door opened after; you swore that every time you saw this guy, you became speechless.
You had seen him in a dress shirt before, but this tank top and over-shirt thing was new. It was casual and comfortable, yet chic. His hair was styled in the same manner his clothing was—simple and so attractive. A silver chain and matching silver rings added the subtle touch of elegance to pull everything together.
"Hi," he grinned—he was always smiling, you realized. It was such a pretty smile. He stepped aside and gave you room in the doorway. "Come on in, cutie."
"Thanks for having me over," you said pleasantly, trying not to openly gawk at the front foyer with the sky-high ceiling, chandelier dripping with crystals, and grand staircase wrapping around the walls up to the indoor balcony.
He closed the door behind you as you deposited your shoes by the small rack. Eric wrapped a loose arm around your shoulder to guide you through the foyer. "Of course! I'm so excited you're here; I went out—actually no, I…" he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "ordered it off that grocery app. I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for."
"Grocery app?" You laughed. "Are you talking about the stuff for dinner?"
"Yeah!"
The two of you entered the kitchen. It was a wide, open space that flowed straight into the living room. The cabinets were smooth and snow white, accented with countertops marbled with black and hints of gold. Though clean, it was a space well-loved with a recipe book left open to a lobster risotto; little candies left in a jar on the island labeled with chalk; barstools that weren't quite aligned, like they'd actually been sat on. The living room, too, was beautiful. Massive, but beautiful, with a wraparound couch sectional and a flat screen with family photos hung above it. It was framed by shelves filled to the brim with CD and DVD cases, more family photos, books, and little baubles.
And the lighting. Oh man, the natural lighting from the windows making up the entire back wall… it led out onto the acres of land his family owned, as well as a patio that overlooked the valley.
Eric had mentioned dinner on the patio. If your math was right, that meant you would probably be dining at sunset, all while overlooking a splendid view—how romantic. God, you hated how giddy you were starting to get. Those butterflies in your stomach would not cease.
"You have a really, really beautiful home," you murmured, letting him take your bag from you to place on one of the barstools.
You had always thought that big houses like this would be so difficult to fill. What was one supposed to do with so much space anyway? From the pictures on the wall, you could see Eric's parents, himself, as well as a sister who must have been out making her own mark on the world in that special Sohn kind of way. Even with just four people in this place… they still managed to make it feel like a home and not a house. It was like your own house back in your hometown, across the country. It was lived-in and warm and yours, and that was the beauty of it. And you were certain by just looking at this place that the Sohns were a family who loved each other.
How could you not believe in Eric? Not with all of this to vouch for him? He had grown up loved.
"Thank you," he said. "It's one of my favorite places to be. That's why I still haunt it like a ghost," he joked. He placed a warm hand on the small of your back and led you over to the fridge where he had put all of the grocery delivery bags in. Even the fridge was relatively stocked. "Not sure if everything I got was right, but hopefully it'll all turn out delicious anyway."
You helped him unload the bags onto the kitchen island, raising a brow at the labels on the groceries. They were on the higher end of price and quality, which definitely wasn't a problem, but holding a hundred dollar bottle of red wine just for sauce was making your anxiety levels spike. "Oh, no. It all looks great, Eric. Thanks for getting these, by the way. I would have gone out and brought them here, but—"
He waved away your worries. "You're busy and you're working. Plus, it lets me technically pay for dinner," he said with a cheeky look on his face and gesturing with a finger gun. It was cute. He was cute.
"Smooth, Sohn. I see you."
"That's what they called me in high school," he played along, dancing on his toes behind you to fiddle with his phone and turn on a speaker somewhere (you didn't know where). "Smooth Sohn."
You snorted, slapping a hand over your mouth. Eric's eyes glittered with a mutual mirth. "Whatever you say, honey."
He waltzed back over to you, tongue in cheek. "I like that better though—honey." He leaned back against the counter next to you and watched as you sorted out the ingredients in different piles depending on how they should be prepped. "So what's the plan, chef? You're the boss."
"I'd love to know where your knives and cutting boards are," you said.
He leapt into action. "Say no more!"
In reality, you did have to say more. It wasn't that Eric didn't know where everything was in the kitchen, he just wasn't as well versed in using the kitchen. He'd told you while teaching him how to hold a knife properly that he really only came in here for ramen. Good news was he could crack an egg with one hand; bad news was that was about all he could do. It was still charming, nonetheless. And the cute cooking lesson gave him plenty of opportunity to get close to you.
He had even insisted on you teaching him how to chop carrots like how he had taught you how to swing a golf club—over and around him—with your hands over his and your body wrapped around his, your chin on his shoulder.
But with dinner well past done, the two of you made your way out onto the patio just as the sun was sinking into the embrace of the valley below. It melted into the sky like a broken yolk, saturated and golden. He let you have the seat staring out into the valley. The way he looked at you though, made you feel like you were his million dollar valley view.
The table was set with twin glasses of red wine (amazing what a good wine paired with beef stew could do for the soul), plates separated by a hot stew pot, and a couple of candles for ambiance.
"Wow," he moaned as the beef melted on his tongue. "This is so good. And you're telling me you're pretty, smart, and can cook?"
You held back a giggle so you could swallow your bite. "And I'm single," you jested.
"And you're single!" He leaned his head back, eyes closed. "Thank god for that."
Eric leaned his cheek on his fist, his head cocked slightly and his eyes on you with a swoon-worthy admiration. "Thanks for coming out tonight and hanging out with me."
You could kiss him. "Please, I should be the one thanking you. It's been really fun hanging out with you." It was surreal, actually. The fact that this young heir had deemed you "worthy" or whatever to court and entertain—it wasn't like you defined your self worth by his attention and affection, but this felt nice. Your conversation with Changmin and Chanhee the other day came to the forefront of your mind.
"I, uhm, think this is a good time to ask if you wanted to do this more often? Hanging out with me, I mean."
You weren't sure if this was what you thought he was asking you. He reached for his wine glass, and in the fading sunlight and the candlelight illuminating the bashful expression on his face, your heart pounded.
"What I mean to say," he tried again after a small sip of wine, "is would you be my—"
"I think we should talk!" You cut in before you heard anymore. You were getting jittery, unable to figure out when was the right time to bring up the thing, but also, you wanted him to say his thing, and it was just a mess. But when you saw Eric's wide eyes, mouth zipped up, you repeated in a much calmer tone, "I think we should talk about something. It's not… it's not super serious or anything. I could just be overthinking."
Oh, you felt bad. He looked like a kicked puppy, but you saw him pull himself together for you. "It's—you're probably not overthinking, Yn. What's on your mind?"
The wine glass was put down. He even put his fork down.
Were you making a big deal out of this? Probably not, right? This was important, you reminded yourself. You pursed your lips. "So one of my coworkers—former coworkers," you amended, "Clara. Her name's Clara. She and this guy you might know, Brian Yang…"
He nodded. "Yeah, I know of him."
"Well, they kind of had this thing going on between them. And the other day, she was fired because they broke up and he thought it was too weird that she was working where he was hanging out all the time," you rambled on. "And I uhm, I just wanted to make sure from the get-go that… you know… it's stupid, I don't know. But it's my job, y'know? And—and I need this job, but I like you a lot, Eric. Am I making any sense?"
Neither of you were eating anymore.
You looked at him, hopelessly, searching for signs of understanding.
He leaned in slightly and reached for your hands over the table. "Yn, sweetheart," he said, lacing his fingers with yours over the pot of beef stew, "that is a valid point to bring up, and I can understand what you're probably thinking. That—that news must have been scary, or at least nerve-racking, and Brian's a dick for that—"
You nodded, swallowing.
"—and I don't want you to risk your job because of me," he said earnestly. "But I really want to see where this goes, you know? If anything happens and you don't feel the same way, then no harm, no foul. I'm not gonna take my emotions out on you like that asshole; that's not right."
The breath you had been holding in fell from your mouth, a wave of relief. A sappy, grateful sort of smile worked its way onto your mouth and you met Eric's own kind expression. "You are actually perfect," you let out a breathy laugh. "Where have you been all my life?"
He grinned. "Funny, that's what I've been thinking about you." Eric set your laced hands on the side of the table as he raised his glass to you. "So what do you say? Can we try this?"
You lifted your glass to gently clink it with his. "Let's do it."
"So he's perfect, but he hasn't kissed you yet?" Chanhee's gasp of incredulity hit you in a gust of air. His lips pursed like a penguin's beak. "Figures."
You sent him a look. "Oh, please. Figures what? He's just being… I dunno, chivalrous!"
"Chivalry is dead," Haknyeon snickered as he waltzed by you with fresh towels to lay out by the pool. "You should make the move, Yn."
"So you two are, like, dating now?" Asked Changmin as he hopped onto the tiki bar stool next to you and Chanhee. He kept on glancing down at his watch; he must have only a small break in between his dance classes today.
"They're 'seeing where things go,'" mocked Jacob with a shake of his head. He swirled a rag around the innards of a glass to dry it.
You sent them all dirty looks now. "Cobie, out of all the times you choose to be an imp—"
"An imp," Chanhee muttered, glancing away as he took a sip of his piña colada, "I'm dead."
"If it makes you feel better, Yn, I'm supervising a tennis match with him and the Lee cousins later today. I can get a feel of where his mind's at," Jacob offered.
You drummed your fingers against the bar. The offer was tempting… "It's fine," you insisted. "We don't have to rush things. We go to the same university and we live in the same city now. It's not like we don't have time… right?"
"Riiiight," Changmin drawled with an over exaggerated wink. He frowned at his watch, hopping off his stool. "Damn it, salsa class time. Catch you losers later!"
As he darted off into the distance, Chanhee sniffed. "Says the loser." He plucked the pink umbrella out of his drink and set the decoration down on his napkin. "You're not wrong, Yn-ie. Taking it slow isn't a bad thing. From what you told us, it seems like you're both on the same page now anyway."
"Thank you," you said.
"Maybe he's trying to plan a romantic moment." Haknyeon rejoined the conversation now that he had done his towel delivery.
Jacob nodded with an approving turn of his lips. "You might be onto something. He seems the type."
Your heart was fluttering as if it sprouted butterfly wings. Oh, the thought of kissing Eric Sohn in romantic lighting…
"I think you should take her back to her job before she drifts fully into La La Land." When you snapped back to reality, Jacob's eyes were twinkling, eyebrows wagging.
Haknyeon nudged you with the back of his hand and nodded up to the clubhouse. "C'mon, Yn-ie. I think Manager Kim wants to brief us on dinner service anyway."
Hours later, Jacob found himself on the tennis courts, overseeing a match between the three Lee cousins—Sangyeon, Hyunjae, and Juyeon—and Eric. He often thought it was luck that got him to land this job where all he did to pass the day was make drinks, drive golf carts, and occasionally play doubles with club members. For all that it was, he considered himself very content.
"—that was a foul," Jacob declared, jogging to go catch the tennis ball before it bounded into the bushes.
Hyunjae let out a groan. "Nooo! It hit the line. Jacob, please, I thought we were cool!"
Sangyeon shook his head, smiling as he caught the tennis ball from Jacob with his free hand. "Hyunjae, we all know your eyesight is shit."
Hyunjae wrinkled his nose. "Hey! No one asked."
"Can we take a break?" Juyeon asked, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "I think I need some water."
The boys all murmured their agreement, and Jacob reached down into the mini cooler he'd lugged out to toss them ice cold bottles of water. It was just one of the few perks that came with the club membership.
While Sangyeon and Hyunjae were bickering about eyesight and foul lines, Juyeon settled into a seat by them to referee. Eric sidled up next to Jacob as they both absentmindedly watched the chaos unfold from afar.
Jacob whistled. "So… Yn said she had a really good time with you the other night."
Eric perked up at the sound of your name. "She did? Well that's a relief to hear."
"It wasn't clear?" Jacob asked, face tilted in question. "I mean, not to completely expose her or anything, but she's been gushing about you all day, man."
A giddy smile took over the youngest Sohn's face. "She was?" He licked his lips, drawing the pad of his thumb over the corner of his mouth to catch the water that had dribbled from the bottle. "She's—she's so cute, hyung. Like, I don't know if this is weird for you because you're friends—"
Jacob coughed in amusement. "It's fine. Think of me as your guardian angel."
"Right," Eric piped up. "I think… I think we really hit it off, y'know? And I mean, she probably told you we just kind of had dinner and she had to leave, but she'd come after work, so she was probably tired and—"
Ohhh. Jacob understood exactly what was going on now. His heart warmed at the thought that Eric was being so considerate and not forcing you to stay. He was thinking about your long day, and didn't wish to prolong it anymore. Little did he know, you probably wouldn't have minded hanging around a tad longer.
"—I wanted to kiss her—"
Wait huh. Jacob tuned back in. "When?"
Eric blinked. "Uhm, at dinner. Or at least, when I was walking her out to her car." He glanced away and his smile softened at the thought. "I wish I had, actually. The moment was right there, and the lighting was perfect, and her smile—oh my god, her smile."
Jacob's eyebrows flew up to his hairline. So this was where Eric's mind was at; good to know. "Then do it—kiss her."
"Right now?"
"No! Not right now—"
"Hey, you guys ready to play again?" Juyeon called. The three Lees had already maneuvered themselves back to court.
Eric and Jacob exchanged glances. This conversation wasn't over, Jacob's look seemed to say.
They nodded to their companions, though. "Yeah, we're ready."
It did not come as a surprise to you when you found out Eric had a home theater in his basement. It was something like you'd pictured from the movies, the ones with the rows of dark leather armchairs, deep cup holders, and a giant screen and surround sound system. The foot of the theater room even had a little snack station to make popcorn, and a mini fridge stocked with drinks.
You and Eric shared the couch on the bottom floor that was big enough for the two of you. It was a random Tuesday, and you didn't have work today, so he'd suggested swinging by and hanging out with him for the day. You couldn't possibly refuse.
Eric scrolled through the movie options on the screen with the remote. "Are you sure you don't want any popcorn?" He asked you.
You shook your head. "I'm good, really. But it sounds like you want popcorn, Eric."
He caught his tongue in his smile. "Maybe."
If you weren't supposed to be watching a movie, you would have gladly curled up on that couch and stared at him for the rest of time. His jawline was enough to make a girl go mad, and the fact that he was just so sweet, too—
"How about this one?"
You snapped out of it, barely flicking your gaze back over to the screen in time to avoid him finding out that you were just blatantly staring. "Uhh, sure. I haven't seen this one, actually."
"Really? Oh my god, we have to watch it then." And so you did.
It was about halfway into the movie that you realized there was a draft coming down on you—the air conditioning in this room was awfully high, but you didn't want to say anything. You hiked your legs up onto the couch and hugged your arms, leaning back slightly against the quilt draped over the back of the couch. (How conveniently placed…)
Eric saw your movement from the corner of his eye. "You cold? We can share the blanket."
"My hero," you joked as he removed the quilt from behind your heads and draped it over your laps.
Because the article wasn't exactly miles long, you and Eric had to shift over closer to each other. Not that you were complaining. The arm and leg pressed against yours were warm, and it gave him the perfect opportunity to raise his arm and place it over the back of the couch behind you.
As you both watched the rest of the movie, you gradually let yourself lean into him, and his arm eventually fell to rest directly around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.
"I always liked the ending of this movie," Eric murmured softly to you as the credits rolled. He brushed his fingers along your arm in a warm, soothing manner. "What'd you think?"
You stayed with your head tucked onto his shoulder. "Hmm, not bad. I think they could have cut the romance though."
"Ah, I see your point," he said. "Sometimes directors just like to force it for the sake of a subplot."
"Wholeheartedly agree."
His fingers danced up to your shoulder and began playing with your hair. He pursed his lips. "Are you a fan of romance movies? That's kind of a random question, I guess."
"Not really—a random question, I mean," you said, and pulled your head off of his shoulder to face him. The thought occurred to you of how close your bodies and your faces were, sharing warmth and skin. You saw his eyes dart down away from yours for a split second. "I like romance movies. I think they restore my faith in humanity," you mused. "You?"
"I like 'em, too." He released a small exhale, an almost-shy smile etching itself onto his face. "Most of them are just… feel-good movies. They're really sweet, and I've always kind of wanted something like that."
"High standards," you whispered, though playfully. "Wouldn't we all like something from the movies?" To you, this was what the movies were like—"handsome guy sweeps girl off her feet, and he's perfect and she's happy." You were already living out your too-good-to-be-true dreams.
He laughed. "True. I think it's just a matter of waiting for the right person to come along, maybe. And following through."
You bit the bait. "Following through?"
"Backing up your initial swing," he clarified. "Something to drive the ball home and make sure you mean it. I feel like maybe that's what people forget about romance—that there's still an after, beyond happily ever after."
Wow. "Your brain," you praised. "That was actual poetry, I think. Is this how you get girls?"
He bit his lip through a smile, leaning closer. "Only one girl. I hope it's working."
"I think it's working a little too well," you admitted, voice barely audible now.
You could feel the warmth of his breath fan over your lips as he came closer, about ninety-percent of the way; the other ten percent was left for you to either push forward or pull back. He was giving you the decision on a gold platter.
And who could deny something served so beautifully?
You closed the gap between you and pressed your lips against his. It was soft, at first, as the nerves in your brain and your vital organs threatened to go haywire. You breathed him in, your noses slotting against each other. He cupped the back of your head with his free hand, the other curling around your waist.
When you broke apart, it was for a split second, until he was kissing you again. You were half in his lap at this point, your legs draped over his, your side pressed to his chest.
Foreheads pressed together, you shared a breath of air with him. He nuzzled his nose against you as if unable to be so far from you. "Be mine," he said, simple at first. Then, "Please."
You smiled against him and felt his mouth do the same. "Only if you'll be mine, too."
"As if I would say no," he laughed, leaning in again, and crushing his mouth to yours. The theater room filled with both of your giggles as you fell backward.
If this was the happily ever after, then you would gladly follow through.
a/n: to anyone who read flight risk, i just redeemed myself from valentine's day
tbz m.list
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @kflixnet
#kflixnet#bjnet#deoboyznet#the boyz x reader#eric sohn x reader#sohn youngjae x reader#the boyz scenarios#the boyz oneshot#the boyz drabbles#the boyz imagines#the boyz fluff#eric sohn drabbles#eric sohn oneshots#eric sohn imagines#eric sohn scenarios#eric sohn fluff#the boyz fanfic#dbn: summer on you
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pls tell us more about arranged marriage with gojou 🥺💖 (i love this trope for sooooo many reasons for him...especially cuz it would force him to be vulnerable and open 🥺)
OKAY HERE'S WHAT I WAS THINKING (tagging @stellamancer here bc i just wanted to scream about her picture in her message 💀💀)
i'm imagining he and getou on the day of your arrival at the palace, before the wedding, and they're kind of standing back and out of the way. making murmured comments to each other, like "the waistcoat on the zenin boy is entirely ill-fitting" LMAOOO like gossiping little ladies, because they have nothing better to do akfbdisjak and gojo has been dreading this time all his life, and now it's here and he's just sort of 😒🙄 ready to get it over with, marry some noble gal with the personality of wet paper, who lives to please him, as everyone else in the palace does.
and — getou knows he's hating this and they haven't really spoken about it seriously, but he just kind of glances over at him, how gojo's stress is revealed in all his little ways; eyes a little too wide behind his glasses, the tiny forming crease between his eyebrows, the occasional jump of muscle in his cheek.
and he tries to get a little serious, because he knows gojo is gonna hold it in all day like he always does with everything, so getou quietly mumbles, "what do you think, then?"
about — anything. about all of it. whatever gojo might wanna say, just between the two of then.
but of course gojo deflects, because it's too early for him to be honest; he shrugs, flippant, and says, "yaga tells me there's not a scandal to her name, nor her family's. shame," he pouts, "would have enjoyed a little something to look forward to."
AND THEN HERE YOU COME, around the corridor behind them, to BOTH of their surprise. getou immediately coughs and looks away, as if he wasn't literally involved in the conversation LOL and you just stand right in front of satoru, jaw cocked as you narrow your eyes at him.
and he's actually afraid ??? LIKE OH SHIT WHOOPS, especially from the look on your face ??? and it makes his heart race a little bit, even moreso when you say,
"perhaps you should be looking for a wife elsewhere, his grace, if it's entertainment you're expecting."
HE'S IN LOVE. WHIPPED. HEAD OVER HEELS RIGHT THERE, as getou laughs under his breath and claps him on the back, and gojo just stands there with his mouth a little parted as you skirt away akgbsjskamam
#it's giving 'even if one's partner is barely tolerable' LMAOOOO#he gets called out by you HE'S DONE#never been spoken to by a woman like that#over the moon about it skfbsjaqk#✿ willow writes#✿ ask willow#✿ thoughts: gojo
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volume vii thoughts
as per usual I have complaints about the missed opportunities of casa
first things first, the casa boys' sprites looked bad to me when I saw that post fusebox made but after playing for like a minute, I was like nah actually they're quite fine. However, prettiest sprites they're competing with are Jin, Claudia, Oakley, Tyler, and Bea so the competition is rough. Also idk something is throwing me off with Shawn and especially Kyle's face shapes.
I think last post I made I said Hari at least got more of a chance than Tyler, but scratch that actually, it feels like they got the same chance because suddenly we're in casa and hardly any mention of him, even though he and my MC have kissed a few times already and she hasn't really rejected him fully over Jin yet? Don't know if anyone's in the boat of going all in with Hari but I'm curious what the gameplay is like for them.
So Emel has randomly decided to be annoyed at Oakley again (I'll replay for you next time Oakley 🥺) and it's clearly because the routes are merged now, which is such a shame because I do think Emel and Oakley could've worked it out and become a fun couple to watch on the real show (probably a boring one though that the audience would dump until after the show ended that their real personalities come out on social media and the public like them individually or at least understand why they were together so long). And I know it's not the most in character thing but I so appreciate it not being a complete 180 for the sake of plot because I'm trying to imagine this with all the couples given what I know about them from my playthrough and Emel/Oakley always have problems because she's uptight and wants more dramatics in their romance and he's chill so any little thing he ends up doing sets her off, sure, I can buy that Emel is a little delusional. Then Luna/Jin would have problems because Luna is less extroverted than Jin, serious, and irritable (which honestly, relatable) and so Jin does things for a laugh and she doesn't get it. So maybe he didn't wink at Bea or did it as a joke because he's being cheeky and she takes it as flirting and starts an argument. And from my playthrough, Sophie and Jack always feel like they're looking for an argument so that checks out too. It's not perfect, but I can feasibly see how one could justify this plot point.
absolutely living for flirting with Claudia in casa
pet peeve subjective raunchy races is back 😠 at least a couple of them are better, like they did have oldest boy in there at least. everything else though, I don't care that much to listen to them argue about who's the most well traveled or stylish.
I love Bea's personality, she's so fun. And tbh, I'm kind of liking her and Liam together. He's forward and she's into it, and it seems like he can keep up with her for now so I'm happy with that couple and I hope it doesn't turn to shit (it probably will).
also pay to win when losers are gonna throw a part anyway ok sure 🙄 I think I've mentioned this before but like personally I think if they're gonna do gem scenes, there has to be a logical ways out of it rather than just MC being like "nah I don't feel like it" and then they lose?? at least for other gem scenes it's like "tell Sophie off 10 gems" or "stay silent" like sure that's fine I guess.
anyway the chats with the boys were actually all pretty fun and short. I, as per usual, have immediately gravitated towards the foodie/chef character but I'll admit I see what y'all are saying about Kyle. Tbh even Max isn't too bad but I'm cautious bc I'm getting Eddie vibes (it's the blond and the gossip lol). And I like Liam, he's like a less cartoonishly silly Hamish (so he reminds me of Felix).
I really like the free party wear dress and this is the second volume in a row MC has accidentally matched with a boy not her partner lol
Bea first mentioning she was bi but not flirting, I just thought maybe they were setting her up to partner with Claudia/Theo depending on who you couple up with/if you're on one of their routes. But then oh the tension at the party when she's staring at MC saying she wants to turn heads and Claudia getting nervous??? loving that.
I don't know what it's like for the other boys but it seems like Shawn and Kyle are drama averse, which I think could be an interesting plot point for later coming back from casa of course, but I also don't know if I believe in fusebox's ability to incorporate that in the story. (once again, the day I write a fic and learn to code its all over for you fusebox)
I didn't pay for the Bea talking about Jin scene but I saw yall talk about Sienna and like I doubt it's going anywhere if it's behind a paywall? it's like the Brad and Christy stuff tbh like unless a bunch of dumped islanders are coming back at the end, I'm ignoring it.
anyway it truly is missing Jin hours again 😔
#litg#litg s8#rambling#if anyones wondering im a little late again bc im still working on the SAME paint by numbers that delayed me last week
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Golden Wildfire Ch 10
Spoilers for GW up to Ch 10 below.
STORY
Now Claude's taking Ls in the Kingdom too.
I love how much they always try to drum up sympathy for Randolph when the man's only character trait is "I want to murder people to gain personal status." And then he also has the gall to act like he's better than the people defending themselves when he goes to kill them.
I never really put that much thought into him before, but yeah he's kinda just a piece of shit, isn't he? Low key one of the worst human beings in the game.
They should've made it Fredinand or like Linhardt's dad or someone likeable.
Funny seeing Claude play Edelgard like a fiddle though. His army is fine, and hers is crushed lamo.
Haha, Fleche is back to her vengeance act. It's gonna be funny if a tiny girl child is a final boss.
The same conversation with Jeralt and Bylethas I saw elsewhere, I think. Yeah, here comes the sword again.
I love how they make Rhea out to be such a big deal, but literally no one gives a shit that they declared war on her. Like, pick one, game. You either have Claude be an unpopular ruler or Rhea actually be a problem.
Raphael called it right. Commoners don't give a shit. So Edelgard getting everyone killed over noble squabbles.
Hilda kinda seems like the Kingdom stan here. She's always the one upset about it.
Claude is such an idiot. I cannot take him seriously. Claiming he wants to spare lives moments after sacrificing Randolph and wanting to wipe a church no one gives a shit about off the map. Am I supposed to take this seriously?
Haha, Arval said he can think for both of them when I had Shez say she's more brawn than brain lamo. And Shez believes it too, omg. Shez is great. I need a comedy show with them.
Oh, nice! Looks like another single-battle map. BC, honestly, I got Spiritfarer for Christmas and I'm DYING to play it, but need to finish this first.
BASE/SIDE BATTLES
Lamo, Arval just said trying to unify different people under one king is dumb, won't work, and looks forward to the day humanity moves beyond it.
LORENZ/IGNATZ/RAPHAEL PARALOGUE
So is this the paralogue that's going to rewrite it so Lorenz's dad did nothing wrong? Given the description, I'm betting it's that.
Ignatz is being awkward around Lorenz now that he's been promoted.
Gloucester evades all of Lorenz's questions about these bandits.
And now Lorenz is demanding Raphael do what Ignatz did and is upset he's so casual lamo.
So are they making it so his dad wasn't the one who ordered the hit that killed Raphael's parents? Lol. This game really likes whitewashing some of these guys, but Glouster's probably the worst offender.
Let me take a wild guess. TWSITD.
It's really a shame that Raphael is such a one-note character. It would've been interesting if he had more in-depth conversations with the rest of the cast who were unable to move beyond trauma.
IGNATZ & LEONIE B SUPPORT
Their one and only support.
They're hunting and the deer only has one arrow. So they try to figure out who successfully shot the deer.
They both hit the same place. Mystery solved.
LORENZ & CONSTANCE C SUPPORT
This one should be better.
Constance is challenging a cat to a staring contest. Yes, this one is already better.
Lamo, he says he would've considered her as a wife if she restored her house. But withdraws because she's a weirdo. (I mean, no loss?)
Constance gets back at him by saying she'd never consider him lol.
Now they're arguing over who's house is more noble.
Much more entertaining.
SHEZ & RAPAEL B SUPPORT
It's about food.
It's nice to see Raphael actually have passion about something instead of just repeating "meat!" over and over.
SHEZ & IGNATZ B SUPPORT
You know, going through supports has made me realize that Golden Deer probably has my overall least favorite cast.
Ignatz has an older brother. He likes his brother at least.
Ignatz is finally talking about how he doesn't love being a knight. He really didn't have much of anything going on removing that conflict.
It's nice to hear Ignatz have his own convictions to become a knight. He's getting more sides to him, which is good.
SHEZ & HOLST B SUPPORT
Holst sneaks with Shez into enemy territory. He's doing it because scouts are going missing. Shez is impressed someone of his status is doing that.
LYSITHEA & RAPHAEL B SUPPORT
Lysithea studied too long and is out after dark. Gets scared by noises. She runs into Raphael and they talk about strengths and weaknesses.
The weird noises she heard wasn't Raphael.
MARIANNE & HILDA PARALOGUE
Marianne needs help from Shez organizing because she sucks at it.
Wow, Hilda not only volunteered to help Marianne clean up the mess, but also to do the scouting mission they were supposed to go on all by herself. It's love.
Hilda doesn't show up for awhile, so they get worried and go to check on her. Given that it dumps me to prepare for the battle next, I'm thinking that was a good call.
Not my favorite paralogue. I had to fight Ingrid :(
They talk about Marianne's typical issues.
It has very "safe" shipping dialogue throughout.
MAIN BATTLE
I don't want to invade the Kingdom. Especially since it makes no sense for Claude to do so.
Hahahahaha, lamo, you deserve it Claude. Fleche raised an army to fight him. Seeing this tiny girl as the final boss is going to be hysterical.
Oh, Arval and Shez stuff. I almost forgot Arval existed. They've got bad feelings. I'm guessing it's because Byleth is fused with Sothis.
Ok guys, I restarted this chapter over and over trying to recruit Byleth, but Claude just stands there in one seized area and won't move until Byleth reaches him - even when no one else is around.
I really just want to be done with this playthrough to be honest (there are so many other games I want to play right now), so I'm not going to bother with recruiting Byleth. I'll try in SB, but the only one I'm going to put any real effort in is AG.
Seeing Fleche as a final boss is funny.
I'm guessing we don't fight Jeralt if you recruit successfully. Got a cool cut scene for not bothering though!
So Byleth doesn't join you because you kill Jeralt, I'm assuming. Though, Byleth doesn't seem to have any issue joining Edelgard when she plays a role in that lamo.
Also, gotta say, I love how there's a chapter you can't use the lords. And for Edelgard and Claude it's because they randomly just don't fight that chapter. For Dimitri, it's epic story reasons lol.
Aw, shit, did Byleth just kill Judith?? That sucks. Oh well. Not restarting. This 3 route thing is too much. I just want to play this again, but one route only.
You know, after Claude's dumbfuckery throughout this route, he kinda deserves this lamo.
So who is it in SB and AG that dies?
Byleth so callous about Jeralt's death. Far cry from the crying in Houses, a bit sad actually.
It's kinda funny that Judith died because Fleche went on another rampage. I'm going to miss seeing her around though.
Is whoever dies in AG bad enough that I should push through and recruit Byleth? I may look that up to give me the proper motivation, but that could backfire if it's someone I don't care enough, but I'm having a hard time thinking of a single character I don't care enough about. Even like Sylvain's dad would make me too sad for Sylvain and I couldn't do it.
Aww, Arval is upset for Shez.
So is Sothis and Byleth merging merging or something?
xxxx
#golden wildfire#fire emblem#fire emblem three hopes#three hopes#three hopes spoilers#golden wildfire spoilers
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i agree about gretta gerwigs work, i feel like there are some pieces of femininity and what its like to grow up as a girl that she nails every time, like at least for me personally her portrayals of grieving past versions of yourself and your life always resonate (but maybe thats because thats a pretty universal experience? im not sure), and her interfamilial relationships feel very tangible to me,
but yeah when it comes to her resolutions and her looking forward moments i feel like i dont really follow where her brain goes, it sometimes feels like she just ends up back where she started. and she doesnt play with gender and sexuality much, which is a shame because i feel like she could do it well?? idk maybe its fear, maybe shes cis and straight and those themes just dont resonate with her idk.
i also feel like shes almost choses stories where she wouldnt be forced to confront those topics? like little women has always had the same conclusion, she certainly did add her own artistry to the story but its not like she would have been expected to explore queer experiences there. and the same is true for barbie, barbie isnt exactly known for being a space that plays much with gender, and i highly doubt mattel would have approved a story that included too much queerness bc theyre trying to tell toys to conservative moms right? idk sorry this got long, your comments on gerwig just got me thinking
yeahhhhh exactly like. i am not a huge gerwig fan (not that i dislike her or anything; i'm just pretty neutral towards her as a director) + i only watched ladybird back when it first came out + barbie now. have never seen little women but based on what i know of the book yeah i imagine it's not like a movie where you'd expect lesbians lol nor was i expecting any particularly insightful exploration of queerness from barbie (although i do think it's nice that many people have been able to find meaningful aroace readings of the film)--and like i don't think it's gerwig's responsibility to explore such themes if they are not things she relates to or has an interest in exploring!
i feel like this is moreso just a problem with reception when any certain artist or work of art gets venerated as like....the pinnacle of representation for 'womanhood' or 'girlhood,' which is a category much of gerwig's critical reception seems to fall into. bc there is no single monolithic experience of 'womanhood,' the cultural consensus about what representations set the standard for such experiences always tend to privilege certain experiences (white, straight, cis, etc), oftentimes at the expense of erasing others. and this has been a particular aspect of some of the barbie praise that's grated on me; i've seen a lot of people talk about how it so perfectly encapsulates 'the female experience' and as a gnc lesbian i'm just like. alright then lol. think the treatment of queerness by the film as a whole was also just like....odd. generally speaking. honestly still parsing thru my thoughts on it but sometimes the framing of the movie made it a little difficult to tell whether i was being laughed at or laughed with tbh
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Tag game Tuesday ✨️
I was tagged by these sunshines Macy @celestialmickey Jay @surviving-maybe Evie @energievie Ling @lingy910y Ri @tanktopgallavich Deanna @deedala Harvey @mikhailoisbaby Deena @suzy-queued Kaka @stocious Laurel @lupeloto thank youuuu 💝
Name: Myn
Age: 26
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Ohhh I clocked in around 8, which is pretty good but also bc i wasn't feeling pretty good lol
Which do you use more: tumblr mobile or desktop? More mobile gotta have my online besties in my pocket 🥰
A hobby you’d like to pick up: Ohhh so many things I'd love to do animation but for a physical craft I bought my niece a crochet mushroom at a Con & it was sooo cool.
If you were a crayon, what colout would you be? The pink you see in the sky during a sunrise 🩷
What was your average screen time last week? what are you, a fed? Holy fuck 10 hours & 32 min but to be fair I put youtube on the background & do stuff!!! And it's 16min less than last week lmao 😅
A song you put on every playlist: Like Jay I don't really do playlists. I usually pick an artist I love & listen to an album over & over again lol
Favourite holiday: I don't really have one I guess I'd say Xmas bc I love gifting ppl stuff
Something on your bucket list: Meeting y'all my internet friends, make an animation & write fanfic
You’re invited to a costume party, what are you dressing up as? I'd love to do an anime character bc cosplaying is fun. I'd go with someone with a fun hair colour & outfit. Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew
What show takes up the most space in your brain? It's a little something that starting with Shame & ends with less. Can't help it those husbands got me locked down 🥰
and finally, share something you’re looking forward to: Getting my driver's licence doing a test tomorrow wish me luck loves 🍀Barbie movie bc I'm gonna go barbie mode for my birthday at the end of the month 🎀
I'll tag these sweetpeas if they wanna play 💕 @scarcrosseduntouched @ian-galagher @jomilky @auds-and-evens @callivich @rereadanon @sweetbee78 @beebabycastiel-main @y0itsbri @whaticameherefor @good-then-dont @chicanomick @mikcrymilkovich @look-i-love-u @you-are-so-much-better-than-that @milkmaidovich @darthvaders-wife @psychicskulldamage @gallavichgeek @transmickey @creepkinginc @mishervellous @crossmydna @deathclassic @you-show-me-love @annatrow @7x10mickey @lalazeewrites
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People I'd like to know better
Tagged by @paleasamoon (hi tex i love you tex sorry this took a year) (HEH. get it. cus you tagged me last year. heh.)
Last song: just putting on yt music as im reading manga and talking to muwi, and now its playing burn for you, from the bridgerton musical! (i don't know watch or follow it) (it's just a nice song) but i'd also like to recommend this song
Favourite colour: YELLOW!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛
Currently watching: my computer screen writing this up
Last movie / TV show: skip to loafer! i was screaming with muwi the entire time bc the story was so sweet and healing and everyone is so sympathetic and cute and we kept being like AAAAAAAAAA I LOVE WOMEN FRIENDSHIPS SO MUCHHHHHH
Spicy/savoury/sweet: sweet! if i could choose a combo, i like savoury-sweet. i like spice but only if i like the flavour! i'm not keen on the actual pain sensation of spice!!
Last thing I googled: hummmm i don't remember... i think a marinade recipe i made yesterday night? i made a korean base marinade for some lamb chops!! i cooked them today and invited my sister to eat with us, it was rlly yummy!
Relationship status: single! waves my aroace flag!!! i'm curious about how it feels to be in a relationship but it's not smth i try to actualize LOL i'm content w reading my shoujosei man-ga/hwa/huas <33
Current obsession: idk if i could call them obsessions yet but right now i'm really invested in sousou no frieren (anime only, havent caught up to the manga), skip to loafer (same there), and i'm looking for more wholesome healing stories. although now that i'm going through my reading lists for stories i've dropped, i'm laughing at them fjaksfjkasfj
(i promise this one has proper context bc i usually like pacifist mcs just bc i like politics and connection seeking to be based on a foundation of empathy and kindness. but this one was just so stupid and just a way to establish how good the mc was to the point that i couldn't get immersed in the story bc it was that nonsensical and i wanted to die)
i'm typically fine w mary sues / jane(?) FLs and i even tend to be biased for them just bc there's a lot of misogyny about the subject matter, so i normally don't bat an eye unless it's a writing choice i find unsuitable / doesn't fulfill the potential it could've achieved with an interesting plot.
(btw the context is that the first screenie which this rant also applies to was when some guy caught the baddies and the FL is like "No let's reward them for trying to kill us. they're just misunderstood!! i bet if we try really hard we can all get along!!")
but! i only really like it when it actually does something useful, like thematically or symbolically. like tohru's innate goodness for furuba inline with the sohma's family curse and mitsumi's unending positivity and earnestness that helps the people around her heal from emotional wounds. not that they're mary sues in any way, but since people understand mary sues as "female protagonists who can do no wrong and will be liked no matter what" (even thought their psychology and personality is just genuinely likeable), i think it makes my point clear. there's a way to write a character who is Good and Kind without cheapening them to a naivete that at best, makes the mc pitiable, or worst, is treated like the mc's totally unique worldview of "lets be nice to people and never hurt anyone ever :)" is the end all be all of the story and the solution to the plot. kindness and empathy is a coiled spring that projects you forward, a motivator. it's how you guide your hand and where it goes, not that the hand is never raised. i don't agree that cowardice towards change and the potential promise of conflict is any kind of wisdom >:T plus it kinda puts the shame to the idea of kindness as a legitimate basis for political strategy, and that leads to some set up for a lot of zero sum games i don't care for in this specific story. there is a good story where each character is trying to one up each other politically, psychologically, at all times, but this is not that story and so the tone feels very off kilter.
but yeah!! sometimes a character is just OP and the story is not even having fun with it (aka its not satire or irony), which makes me think they want to take it seriously. and my serious thoughts was that it sucked.
(i just realised this also applies to the first screenie LMFAO it just loops back huh!!)
not gonna comment about the others bc i think they speak for themselves <33 but also the first one of these three is fucked up in the sense that i dont even get where they're going w the story. its a revenge story and the FL uses the ML from childhood to achieve her revenge, but then suddenly when he's an adult she has Feelings for Him and now im like.... okay....? belief no longer suspended. beliefs are like those garter straps that snapped. my socks are like my beliefs. fallen to my feet. they are no longer suspended.
sorry that got off track </33 i enjoy looking into why i dont like things, im in this stage of life where i realise i actually have specific ass tastes!! i always have, but i just realised it very recently a few years back fjskfjskjf
People I'd like to know better (i also wanna include some mutuals who i haven't talked to but i like to see on my dash):
@snickerdoodlles
@fflewddurfflam7
@00uroboros
@perpetualstateofcrying
@pirate-with-internet-connection
💛🐢😤💪
#yuu rambles#thank you tex and this was rlly long sorry before i realised i've spent like 20 mins writing my rant about idealism JFAKSJFKASFJ#<3333
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Chapter Twenty-Three: Just Friends
Summary: You and Eddie go on a “definitely not a date” date and learn a little bit more about each other, including how you both actually feel for one another. (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, 13k words)
Warnings: Language, mentions of abuse and violence, eating (Eddie puts peanut butter on his burger bc he’s weird), reader loves Stevie Nicks? This is just pure flirtation, gentle Eddie fluff, and some more angst at the end of course sorry I love drama lol.
A/N: This one’s a DOOZY lol sorry I did not mean for this to be so long. Got a little carried away! Also, once again, I have an album for you! Look up the lyrics to Leather and Lace and think about Eddie or The Highwayman and think about Steve if you wanna cry 🙃
Tags: @princesseddie @dessxoxsworld @blackbirddaredevil23
Series Masterlist
September 20th, 1985
As soon as you got home from your little adventure at the Hideout the week prior, your parents were waiting up for you, ready to scream at you for being out so late. As long as you were still stuck under their roof, you would still have to live by their rules. Their cold-shoulder silent treatment from your decision not to go to college was officially over. You had reawakened the sleeping dragon. Now the little freedom you had gained from their passive-aggressive distance was gone, and there was no way they would let you anywhere near their car again. But that Friday night you had made a promise to see Eddie again and return his jacket to him, and you at least owed him that after the mess you made the week before. So you decided to rebel one last time, and drove to the school to meet him after Hellfire.
You would have joined in, but you felt like you owed him some space, too. So you sat on the floor in the hallway instead and read your book to try to slow your thoughts as you prepared to face him.
Eventually, you heard chatter and laughter as the door opened. You looked up as the boys filed out of the room. Eddie was teasing Dustin, pushing his baseball cap over his eyes. Then he saw you, and his smile dropped.
“Hey, Y/N. I didn’t think you were gonna show up,” Dustin said. “Are you good to drive us home?”
“Yeah. Sorry, just felt like reading today,” You replied, holding up your book. It was kind of true, just not the whole truth.
“The Hobbit,” Eddie mumbled. “Is this your first time reading it?”
“Oh, no. I’ve read it a billion times, I just… like to reread it when I need a good escape.”
He nodded solemnly and you lowered your eyes in embarrassment. The other boys looked at each other, clearly uncomfortable from the obvious tension in the air.
“Okay… well, we’ll be in the car, then…” Lucas grumbled and started to walk away. When Dustin and Mike didn’t get the hint, he walked back towards them and pulled them away by the collar of their shirts. Gareth, Jeff, and Freak mumbled their goodbyes to Eddie and awkwardly shuffled away as well.
The two of you stared at each other in uncomfortable silence before you cleared your throat and stood up from the floor, tugging on your shirt anxiously. Then you remembered his jacket. You bent down to pick it up off of the floor and brushed it off, feeling bad that it looked like you weren’t taking proper care of it.
“I, uh, brought you your jacket,” You said wiping it once more for good measure. “Sorry.”
He chuckled.
“No problem. Thanks for bringing it back.”
He put it on and melodramatically fluffed his hair out.
“How’s it look?”
“Great. As always.”
You smiled shyly at each other, then both tried to speak at the same time.
“You go ahead,” You offered.
“I just wanted to say, I’m really sorry about last weekend,” He said earnestly. You couldn’t stop yourself from snorting at him.
“You’re sorry? I’m sorry! I was such a mess. I can’t believe I got drunk. And puked. Oh god, I’m so humiliated. I completely ruined your night.”
You covered your face with your book in shame as the events of the night came back to you. Eddie took a step forward and pushed it down so he could look at you.
“It’s really okay. You didn’t. I’ve just been worried about you, that’s all.”
“That’s really sweet, but despite the embarrassment, I’m fine. I promise.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
He could definitely tell that you were lying, but he didn’t press you.
“Okay. Well… I’ll see you next week then?”
“About that…” You winced, clenching your teeth. “My parents weren’t exactly thrilled that I left their car at a bar all night. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to drive the boys anymore. Or… anywhere, ever again, for that matter. I had to sneak out just to drive here tonight. So… no more Hellfire. At least for a while, until I can get them to forget that I exist again.”
His shoulders slumped, and he looked down at his hands to play with his rings.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about that.”
“Oh, no, it’s fine. It’s my fault. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“But… you wouldn’t have even been there if it wasn’t for me.”
“Yeah, maybe, but I wanted to go. And I chose to get drunk. Listen, even though I was a complete disaster, I still would have chosen to go - exactly as it played out - over staying home. It was fun watching you guys play. I’m glad I went. Really.”
“I’m glad you went, too. I wish it would have gone better.”
“Me too,” You sighed.
You stared at each other for a moment before you took a step away from him towards the school’s exit.
“Okay. Well… I guess I’ll see you around?” You said tentatively.
“Sure. See you around.”
You nodded, giving him a sad smile before you walked away. You made it halfway to the door before he called your name, making you spin back around.
“Yeah?”
He hesitated, punching the palm of his other hand anxiously before he walked towards you, avoiding your gaze.
“Alright, fuck it,” He eventually said with a nervous laugh, forcing himself to look at you. “Lemme just ask you before I lose my nerve again. What are you doing tonight?”
Your eyes widened at him and you looked around like you were being pranked, then you turned your head back to him. His gaze was unwavering.
“Nothing?”
“Good. I mean… okay. Would you wanna… can I take you out to get something to eat? Just to hang out. Nothing weird, I swear. Just a redo.”
You stared at him, stunned. Was this actually happening? He still wanted to spend time with you, even after everything that went down the week before?
He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head when you stayed silent for a little too long.
“Again, you can always tell me to fuck off at any time,” He said with a small laugh and smile that immediately disappeared when he realized there was a chance you might actually take him up on that. But you didn’t.
“Okay,” You said simply instead, unable to fight off a little smirk. He grinned back at you.
“Cool.”
“Cool,” You agreed.
He nodded, then stopped suddenly, his smile fading once again.
“Sorry, that was a solid yes, right? Just wanna make sure I’m not an asshole who can’t take a hint.”
You grinned at him.
“Yes. It was a yes.”
“Good.”
He inched ever so slightly closer to you and you felt a sudden pang of panic. Was this a date? You took a step back, brushing your hair behind your ear anxiously.
“Wait, we are just hanging out, right? As… friends?”
He snorted, subtly leaning away from you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Uh, of course. Yeah. Absolutely. That is what I said. Right.”
He was trying a little too hard to prove to you that this was obvious information.
“Okay…” You paused, narrowing your eyes at him skeptically, then relaxed when he didn’t budge. “I’m paying, by the way. I owe you for last week.”
“You know I’m not gonna let you do that, right?”
You rolled your eyes at him.
“We’ll see about that. So, would you mind picking me up at my place? I can write down the address for you.”
“Of course. No problem."
You rummaged in your bag for a marker, then when you found one and pulled it out, Eddie stuck out his hand before you could rip a piece of paper out of your sketchbook. You eyed him quizzically, and he laughed when he recognized your confusion.
“Just write it on my hand. I won’t lose it that way.”
You raised an eyebrow, but didn’t fight him on it. You bit the marker cap off and held it between your teeth, then took his hand and wrote your address on the back of it. When you dropped it and returned the marker to your bag, he brought his hand up to his face so he could read it. His eyes widened.
“Shit. Nice neighborhood.”
“Yeah… For all intents and purposes, I suppose it is,” You snorted.
“Might get a few disgruntled neighbors. My van can be kinda loud.”
“Good. There’s quite a few people I wouldn’t mind pissing off.”
You hated every single person that lived on your street. It was mostly stuck-up old couples that pretended to be nice to your face but complained about the stupidest little things, or families like yours that hated each other behind closed doors. Families just like the Hagans, and the Perkinses, and the Harringtons.
You were teasing, but Eddie actually seemed kind of nervous about it.
“It’ll be fine,” You reassured him. “I won’t make you wait. I promise. But if you’re really worried, I can totally meet you somewhere. I wouldn’t mind.”
“No, no. It’s cool. I’m not worried if you’re not.”
“Alright. Thanks. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. So… I’ll pick you up in an hour? Or is that too soon?”
“No, that’s perfect. The sooner the better.”
He smirked at you, and you scratched your eyebrow with uneasiness, letting out an anxious chuckle. That sounded a little too eager.
“I meant, because I probably shouldn’t stay out super late after last weekend,” You added, trying to take him down a peg.
“Right. That’s what I thought you meant,” He nodded, but that stupid smirk was still on his face, making you blush.
“Alright, Munson,” You teased, stepping away from him. “I know you’re always fashionably late, but try your best not to keep me waiting.”
“I won’t. Promise,” He called after you, waving the hand you had written your address on.
“And don’t wash that off!” You added with a giggle, opening the door with your back before turning to walk off to your car.
You tried your best not to wait too eagerly after you got home and changed your clothes, but you couldn’t help pacing around your room, checking your watch. On top of being nervous as hell, you were slightly concerned that your parents would have something to say about a noisy van parked in front of their house. You had a plan to get them off of your back, and you wanted to be ready to go as soon as he pulled up, just as you had promised.
Then at ten on the dot, you heard the sound of Eddie’s van’s engine coming down the road. You were pleasantly surprised that he actually was on time.
You immediately put your plan into motion, opening your window and climbing down carefully onto your porch awning, sliding smoothly to the ground. Then you ran over to Eddie’s van and hopped in, trying to hide the fact that you were out of breath.
“Hi,” You said as you panted. He just stared at you.
“Uh… what was that?” He asked with a chuckle.
“What?”
“The acrobatics?”
“Oh. Uh… I thought I’d try something new. My parents can’t get pissed at me if they don’t notice I’m gone, right?”
“Mhm. Right,” He said with a smirk, and pulled away from the curb. He kept looking you up and down out of the corner of his eyes. You clicked your tongue at him.
“What?” You asked again more impatiently.
“You changed,” He pointed out with a smirk, nodding at your fresh top.
“Yeah… so?” You mumbled, looking down at it. “I was in my work shirt when I saw you at the school.”
“Okay. Just saying. It’s a pretty nice top to wear for hanging out with a friend.”
“Well… I didn’t know where you were planning on taking me. Figured I’d dress to be ready for anything.”
“It won’t be anywhere fancy,” He snorted. “Hope that’s okay.”
“Where are we going?”
He squirmed in his seat nervously, leaning forward over the steering wheel.
“Okay, so I have this place in mind, but it’s outside of town a little bit. Is that okay? I kinda want it to be a surprise, but I just don’t want you to think that I’m, like, about to drive you out into a field to murder you or something.”
“Well… I wasn’t thinking that before. But now I’m slightly concerned.”
“I promise I will not murder you,” He laughed. “I sort of like you too much.”
“That’s… good to hear? I guess?”
He paused to look at you before turning back to the road.
“That’s where you’re supposed to say that you like me, too. You know, or whatever.”
“Okay… Eddie, I like you too much to murder you, too.”
“Aw,” He cooed, putting a hand on his heart. “You’re sweet.”
Eventually, he pulled off of the road several miles outside of Hawkins into the parking lot of a retro diner.
“Is this the place?” You asked him with a grin.
“Yep. This is it. What do you think?”
“I think… I’m dying for a strawberry milkshake right about now.”
“Then let’s get you a strawberry milkshake,” He said with a nod, unbuckling his seatbelt. You followed suit, and before you could get out of his van, Eddie had already raced around to extend a hand to help you out. You raised an eyebrow at him but took it anyways as you hopped down. He shrugged, picking up on what you were thinking.
“I’m always chivalrous. Doesn’t mean anything,” He argued, dropping your hand.
“Mhm. Right.”
If he could tease you about changing before seeing him, you could tease him about getting the door for you. It was fun pushing each other’s buttons like this, flirting innocently. When you got to the front door of the diner, you made it a point to hold it open for him, which amused him immensely.
As soon as he walked in, an older woman smiled at him from behind the front counter.
“Well if it isn’t little Eddie Munson,” She called, stopping him in his tracks. You froze beside him and looked between the two of them in confusion.
“Hey, Deb. How have you been?” He asked her.
“Same ol’, same ol'. How are you? How’s Wayne? Still at the plant?”
“Yes ma’am, he is. We’re both great, thanks.”
“Glad to hear it. Your usual booth is open if you wanna make your way over, I’ll be there in just a second.”
Eddie nodded and instinctively put his hand over the small of your back to guide you towards the back of the diner, but corrected himself quickly by shoving it into his jeans pocket instead. When you both slid into your seats across from each other, Deb met you over by the table and smiled down at you before glancing back at Eddie.
“Well, who’s this? It’s a pleasure to meet you,” She said kindly, and reached out her hand to shake yours. “How do you know our Eddie?”
“I’m Y/N,” You answered shyly as you shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I, uh… went to school with him.”
You fought back the urge to ask her how the hell she knew Eddie.
“Well, any friend of his is a friend of mine,” She said, patting his shoulder before turning back to you. “So, what can I get you?”
“Could I please get a hamburger and fries…”
“And a strawberry milkshake,” Eddie interrupted with a smirk.
“Yes, thank you, Eddie. And a strawberry milkshake, please.”
“Of course,” Deb said, writing on her notepad. Then she looked up and pointed her pen at Eddie. “The usual for you, dear?”
He tilted his head at her with a wide smile.
“You know me so well, Deb.”
“Well, I suppose I should after all these years of you ordering the same thing,” She teased him, smacking him gently on the shoulder with her notepad. Of course, Eddie couldn’t resist melodramatically pretending that it had wounded him. “I’ll be right back with your food. You kids have fun."
“Thank you,” Eddie turned to call after her, and then smiled back at you.
“Come here often?” You asked him with a smirk.
“Yeah,” He chuckled bashfully. “My uncle’s been bringing me here ever since I moved in with him as a kid, and Deb’s worked here for forever.”
“And what’s this mysterious order you’ve been getting for the past, what, ten years?”
“A Dr. Pepper and a hamburger, well-done. Extra pickles. With a side of… peanut butter.”
“I’m sorry… did you say peanut butter? For what?”
His eyebrows raised so high in surprise that they disappeared behind his bangs.
“You don’t know about peanut butter burgers?”
“Peanut butter what?”
“Peanut butter on hamburgers. It’s amazing.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” You grimaced.
“I’ve never been more serious in my life. You’ve heard of peanut butter and pickles, right? It’s pretty much the same thing. It’s an acquired taste.”
“I’m not sure if my tastebuds are… sophisticated enough for that yet.”
“Oh, you’re gonna try it.”
“I will not.”
“You will,” He shrugged.
“Eddie.”
“Y/N.”
He was grinning at the horrified look on your face. You could tell he wasn’t going to let it go.
“One bite,” You finally said after he successfully stared you down.
“Deal,” He agreed, sticking out his hand to shake on it. You shook your head at him, but stuck your hand out to grip his anyways. He held onto it for a little too long afterwards, looking you straight in the eye before you tried to turn your face away to hide your blush. You pulled your hand back and immediately turned your attention to the little jukebox that was sitting on the booth tabletop.
“This is cute. I’ve never seen one of these before. How does it work?”
“Yeah. That’s half of the appeal of this place. You can pick a song from any table, and eventually it’ll play over the speakers. My little ten-year-old brain almost exploded with excitement the first time my uncle gave me a nickel to pick out a song. Now every time we come here, we always have to pick something.”
You could picture Eddie as a little kid clear as day, easily excitable, and it made you smile.
“Your uncle, his name is Wayne, right?” You asked.
“Yup. Good ol’ Wayne Munson.”
“So you guys are pretty close, huh?”
“Yeah. He’s more my dad than my actual dad, so.”
“He seems like a really good man.”
“He is.”
Eddie became uncharacteristically quiet then, seemingly humbled by this vulnerable admission. You tilted your head at him curiously, but he avoided your gaze and began to fish for change in his pocket, then reached out to try to hand it to you.
“Here. Pick something out. It’s too quiet in here.”
“No, you should do it. It’s your tradition.”
“Well, now it can be yours, too,” He objected, reaching out with his other hand to peel yours off of the table, then pressed the coin into it and closed your fingers around it. “Pick a good one.”
Your face flushed as he released you and you opened your fist to look down at the coin in your hand.
“No pressure,” You mumbled to yourself with a laugh.
“What, do you think I’m a music snob or something?”
“Oh, I know you are,” You teased. “In fact, maybe I’ll try my best to pick something you’ll absolutely hate.”
“Now, hold on a minute,” He scoffed. “What did I do to deserve that?”
“Nothing. I’m just not ready to show you my hand yet. I’ve gotta figure out what your limits are first.”
“My limits? Jesus, what kind of music do you listen to?”
“Nothing weird! Just… definitely not what you’re used to.”
He cocked his head at you and raised an eyebrow.
“I think you’re underestimating me.”
“Well, guess we’ll find out then, won’t we?”
You smirked at him deviously as you made your selection, and he sat back and crossed his arms in waiting, equally amused by your game. When it began to play, you sat back, too, staring him down, willing him to react. It took a minute for him to recognize the song, but when he did, he scrunched his eyes shut and let out a chuckle, then opened one of them to look at you.
“Girls Just Want to Have Fun? Seriously? That cannot be one of your all-time favorite songs.”
“No, you’re right. It’s not. That was a test, and you failed,” You laughed.
“Oh, come on. That’s so not fair. How else was I supposed to react to that?!”
“Alright, alright. Fine. I’ll choose a better one for the next song. On my nickel, don’t even try to give me any more change. Got it?”
He put his hands up in defeat.
“Got it. You’re making the rules now.”
“Damn straight.”
He bit his lip, then leaned forward towards you with his hands clasped over the table as if he was prepared to make you some kind of dubious offer.
“I have a game for you, too, though.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm. I challenge you… to draw me.”
“What?”
“Draw me,” He shrugged. “What? You don’t think I could be a good model?”
He daintily pushed his hair over his shoulder and fluttered his eyelashes at you to showcase his beauty, making you laugh.
“I’m sure you’d be a great model. I just don’t think I’m a good enough artist to capture…” You paused to wave a hand at him in a circular motion. “All that.”
He laughed back at your teasing.
“Are you forgetting that I’ve seen your art? I know what you’re capable of.”
“You seriously want me to draw you? For what?”
“So I can hang it on my wall to remind myself how pretty I am, obviously.”
“Right. Obviously,” You snorted. He stared you down, tapping his finger on the table.
“I am serious, though. Draw me.”
“I… with what? I don’t even have a pencil.”
He smirked at you and turned to flag down Deb, then asked her for a pencil. She took one she had been keeping behind her ear and handed it to him, and he thanked her before holding it out to you. You took it from him reluctantly, glancing between the two of them anxiously. Eddie noticed and looked back at Deb, then explained, “She’s an artist. She’s gonna draw me,” With a pleased grin.
Deb smiled back at him, eyeing you knowingly before shaking her head fondly and walking off. You raised an eyebrow at Eddie as he stared at you expectantly.
“Alright,” You sighed, “I have a better idea. I’ll draw you somebody in this restaurant right now - anybody you choose - and if you like it, then I promise I will draw you.”
He tilted his head at you impatiently, but nodded.
“Fine. You’ve got yourself another deal. You do make the rules, after all.”
“That’s correct. So who do you pick? Choose wisely.”
He draped an arm over the back of the booth and turned his body around to look at the other people in the room, not even bothering to be covert about it. There weren’t too many to choose from. He eventually turned back around and leaned over the table to whisper to you.
“See the guy at the counter? Ten o’clock?”
You leaned a little to the left so you could look over his shoulder.
“The one in head-to-toe camouflage?”
“That’s the one. I pick him.”
“Okay. Challenge accepted. Easy.”
He smiled at your confidence, then grabbed a napkin from the holder beside him to pass it off to you. You snorted and took it from him. It wasn’t the ideal material to draw on, but it would have to do.
“So, what music do you usually pick out when you come here?” You asked as you began your drawing. “The selections aren’t very… metal.”
He chuckled to himself.
“Uh… well, see, that’s an interesting story. It’s actually kind of part of the tradition for me to pick a Woody Guthrie song.”
“What? Like, the guy who wrote This Land Is Your Land?”
“That’s the one,” He admitted with pursed lips and a shrug.
“Very interesting. Where did that come from?”
“Wayne introduced me to him as a kid, and I thought he was a cool dude. I had a little bit of an obsession. Read all these books about him. He’s actually the one that made me wanna play guitar.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I know. It’s shocking, right? I started with acoustic, and then when I discovered AC/DC, that was the end of that story. Wayne saved up for a year to get me my first electric guitar, and, hence, my first foray into the world of rock and roll began.”
“Ah. See, now that makes more sense to me.”
“Right. But they were just a stepping stone, obviously. The music I like now is a little more…”
“Loud?” You interrupted him with a smirk, still focused on your drawing.
“Yes, exactly. Heavier.”
“So who do you listen to now then? Anybody I would know?”
“I don’t know. Iron Maiden? W.A.S.P.? Dio? Metallica? Black Sabbath?”
“Oh, sure. Ozzy Osbourne. The guy that decapitated a bat live on stage. Love that guy,” You teased sarcastically, glancing up at his face to see his reaction. He was smiling sheepishly at you, and it was so cute that it made you want to cry. “I’m teasing. I don’t really know any of those bands, but I’m willing to be educated. You did promise me you would lend me some tapes, remember?”
His face lit up again, and his smile became wider.
“Oh, trust me. I remember.”
“Good.”
You smiled back at him, then returned to your masterpiece before Eddie cleared his throat and tapped a finger against the mini jukebox selector.
“Did you forget something? I shared my favorites, now it’s your turn. Pick something out that you actually like.”
You sighed and set down the napkin you were sketching on in your lap.
“For the record, I do actually like Cyndi Lauper. She’s just not in my top ten.”
“Well, of course you do. It’s criminal not to at least like her a little bit. I’m not a total freak.”
You rolled your eyes at him and crossed your arms discontentedly.
“You’re making fun of me.”
“No, I’m not,” He raised his voice indignantly. “I’m serious. Her shit is catchy.”
“Stop it. Do you want me to finish this drawing or not?”
You set the napkin back on the table and continued, trying your best to ignore Eddie as he leaned forward towards you. Then when he realized he couldn’t get to you, he slumped back into his seat like a pouting child. Just when you thought you had won, he began to hum, and you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing up at him. Then he began to sing quietly when he realized that he had finally caught your attention.
“I come home… in the mornin’ light… my MOther says, ‘Whatcha gonna do with your life?’”
“What are you doing?” You tried to ask him, but he ignored you and began to sing louder, drumming his fingers on the table.
“Oh momma dear, we’re not the fortunate ones. And girls, they wanna have FU-un!”
You shushed him, eyeing the people around you, but it only spurred him on more.
“THAT’S ALL THEY REALLY WAAAANT,” He sang as loudly and passionately as possible, closing his eyes and scrunching up his face. You straightened up in your seat in shock, then reached out to clamp a hand over his mouth without thinking.
“Stop!” You hissed, fighting back a grin so he wouldn’t be tempted to keep it up.
“I’m not gonna stop until you agree to pick out another song,” He mumbled into your hand, tickling your palm. Then he pulled away from it and screeched, “SOME FUUUUUN!” to prove his point.
“Okay, okay!” You yelled, waving your hands at him emphatically to get him to stop before reaching into your bag for change. When you found a nickel, you held it up to him in desperation to prove that you were willing to comply, then kept your eyes locked on his as you put it into the jukebox. “Happy now?”
“Yes,” He said with a shit-eating grin. You rolled your eyes at him, then couldn’t resist looking around at the other people in the diner who were still staring at the two of you.
This is exactly what Robin meant when she said that Eddie would be good at getting you out of your shell. Everybody was looking at you, which normally would have made you shut down, but you couldn’t help smiling. It didn’t feel so threatening when Eddie’s goofiness was the cause of it. It was actually kind of fun.
“You’re a child, you know that?” You grumbled playfully as you turned your attention back to the jukebox to pick out a song.
“I know,” He agreed, resting back into his seat triumphantly. You shook your head at him again.
“I can’t believe you actually know the words to Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”
“I told you,” He shrugged. “Catchy.”
Your eyes flicked up at him briefly as you were making your song selection, catching his gaze. You knew exactly what he was doing by playing these games with you. He was softening you up so you would open up to him. Worming his way into your brain, trying to figure you out. Trying to get you to share your favorite things with him. You would have been mad, but recognizing the twinkle in his eyes made it impossible. All he wanted was to get to know you better. How could you be angry about that?
You decided to play nicely and actually picked one of your favorite songs despite the fear that he would judge you for it. After selecting it, you quickly went back to drawing, doing your best to appear nonchalant even though your heart was racing. When the song started playing and you heard a contented sigh from Eddie, you looked up at him again in shock.
“Landslide. Heavy. And not in the way I’m used to,” He joked. “Sad, heavy. But it’s really good.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, hell yeah. Fleetwood Mac was actually… one of my mom’s favorites."
You stopped drawing suddenly and stared up at him, unsure how to react to that bit of information. Judging by the serious look on his face, he wasn’t sure either. But this only lasted for a second before he had his typical, beaming, Eddie smile back, and he quickly cleared his throat and tried to move the topic away from his mom again.
“Stevie Nicks is a total badass. Although, she wasn’t always in the band, right? It’s hard to keep all that straight. They went through a lot of personnel changes over the years, didn’t they?”
“Yeah,” You smiled kindly, trying to ignore the pregnant pause in your conversation. “Although, I really don’t have any interest in them pre-Stevie Nicks. She’s definitely a top ten artist. Top five, even.”
“Understandable. Edge of Seventeen? Great song.”
“Are you kidding?” You scoffed ecstatically. “When that album came out, I listened to it on repeat so much that my record was completely scratched by the end of the summer. I was absolutely obsessed. I probably wouldn’t have survived the start of my freshman year without it.”
He nodded, grinning at you, basking in your joy. He’d gotten you truly excited about something for the first time that night, and he knew it. He was successfully figuring you out. Your cheeks burned red from his gaze. You shook your head and looked back down at your work, trying to pretend that it hadn’t happened.
“You know… you can keep telling me things like that,” He said as gently as possible. “Personal things. I’m not gonna, like, use them against you, or anything. Or make fun of you. Right?”
You weren’t expecting him to say this, and it flustered you.
“I… I know,” You stammered. “I mean… I’m trying.”
“It’s fine if you don’t want to. I just want to make sure you know that. You always seem…embarrassed. I don’t want you to be.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s not you. That’s just… my own shit.”
“I get it. Trust me.”
It hadn’t really occurred to you that he would understand. He was so good at pretending like he didn’t care about anything, at being his carefree, happy self, that you almost forgot he had dealt with his fair share of bullshit in his life.
“You can always tell me things, too. I hope you know that,” You added, just in case he didn’t.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“Speaking of…” You were about to ask him more about his mom, but Deb came over and set your plates down in front of you, interrupting you before you could. Maybe it was for the best. You didn’t want to pry too soon. You both said your polite thank you’s to her, and after she walked away, Eddie looked down at the little bowl of peanut butter on his plate, then back up at you. You groaned.
“You’re really gonna make me try that monstrosity?”
“Monstrosity? How dare you. More like masterpiece.”
“Alright, whatever. Let’s just get it over with,” You grumbled, setting your drawing aside to pick up a knife and spread a tiny amount of it onto your burger. You picked it up and stared at it, then glanced up at Eddie for a moment to see him leaning in eagerly, his chin resting on top of his intertwined hands. There was no backing out. You took a hesitant bite and put your hand over your mouth as you chewed, analyzing its bizarre taste profile. After a few moments, you let yourself swallow it and your eyebrows raised in disbelief.
“Surprisingly not horrible,” You admitted.
“You love it.”
“Let’s not get too carried away. It’s… it’s good. Okay?”
He clapped his hands together excitedly, rocking back in his seat.
“I knew it! I knew you’d like it!” He exclaimed loudly and pointed a finger at you, once again drawing attention to himself.
You laughed and shushed him.
“Okay, okay. You were right. Are you happy?”
“You have no idea,” He grinned.
You watched him take the top bun off of his burger and dump the entire bowl of peanut butter on the patty as you took a sip of your milkshake. The boy was weird, and you were enjoying every moment of watching him be himself.
He took a large bite of the burger after reassembling it and then tried to talk to you with his mouth full without thinking.
“What was that?” You chuckled, then took a bite of one of your fries.
He covered his mouth with his fist and swallowed, then smiled at you sheepishly.
“Sorry. I said, are you done with that drawing yet?”
“Oh!” You brushed your hands together to wipe off the crumbs and took the drawing off of the seat beside you to study it. Then you held up a finger and picked up your pencil again. “Just a second, it needs one last touch.”
You scribbled one last detail then held it up, eyeing Eddie as he sat in waiting behind it.
“Okay. I think it’s done.”
He sat up straight in his seat and wiped off his hands with his napkin, then held them out to you in preparation to receive it. You waved it at him then snatched it away playfully, and he reached out and grabbed it from you with a laugh before you could take it away again. It took him a brief moment to analyze it before his face lit up in pure delight.
It was a drawing of the lonely camouflaged man, as requested, but slightly more caricatured with the addition of a little caption that read, “Sometimes I feel like everybody looks right through me.”
“Holy shit,” He said with a boisterous laugh. “That’s fucking amazing.”
He held it up to you to show it off as if you hadn’t just finished drawing it right in front of him less than a minute before. You chuckled at his show of pride in you.
“Why, thank you. Glad you like it.”
“Like it? I’m framing this shit.”
“Alright. Calm down, Munson. It’s just a stupid little joke drawing.”
“No, it’s my stupid little joke drawing and I will cherish it forever,” He argued, clutching it fondly to his chest. “Thank you. I can’t believe you cranked that out so fast. This really is your thing, isn’t it?”
You remembered your conversation at The Hideout about each of your respective talents. His music, your art. Your heart dropped. Seeing the joy your drawing had brought him helped a little, but you still felt like you had all but completely lost that side of yourself.
“Well, about that… I’m not so sure that’s true,” You admitted. “I don’t really know what my thing is anymore.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“Because I haven’t really been able to make anything new since I graduated. It’s like I’m all dried up. Barely nineteen and I’m already having a mid-life crisis.”
“Dried up?” He scoffed. “Look at what you just did. And what about leaving Hawkins? What happened to your plans?”
He seemed genuinely concerned by your change of heart, and you didn’t really know what to say to him to make him understand what caused it.
“I… don’t know. I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me anymore, you know? Reality kind of whacked me over the head a little bit.”
That was an understatement. And also pretty literal, considering the bruises you received from the battle at Starcourt.
“Maybe it’ll still happen someday, but just… not anytime soon,” You added to ease his worry, even though you didn’t really believe it. He nodded and seemed to relax slightly.
“Well, if you really are going to be sticking around for a while, we could always use your help designing band posters and stuff. Maybe even some new shirts for the Hellfire Club?”
You blinked at him, surprised by this kind offer. He tapped his rings against the table to fill the uncomfortable silence.
“If you’re up for it, I mean. No pressure. We probably couldn’t pay you much, but…”
“I’d love to,” You interrupted him. “Free of charge. Anytime.”
“No, you’ve gotta let me pay you something.”
“Okay, you can take me out to eat again.”
Now it was his turn to be stunned speechless. For some reason, it was a surprise to him that you considered spending time with him valuable.
“That’s all you’ll accept?”
“Yup,” You nodded matter-of-factly.
“Sounds like that’s a bigger payoff for me, but alright.”
You smirked at him, shaking your head. That wasn’t even remotely true.
“I believe you also owe me a portrait of yours truly,” He added. “Don’t forget.”
“Okay, fine. But it’ll cost you an extra meal.”
“I think I can live with that.”
You tried to hide your giddy smile by taking another bite of your burger, and he eyed you over the rim of his soda as he took a sip. Then he set it down quickly and swallowed as he recalled something.
“Oh, I almost forgot. What were you gonna say before our food got here? Something personal, or whatever?”
Shit. He had heard you. You tried to think of something else you could ask him that would be much lighter than the topic of his absent parents.
“Oh… um… I do have a question I’ve been wanting to ask you, actually. Speaking of leaving Hawkins… I’m curious to know what’s in the cards for you when you finish school. Do you have any plans? Or… dreams?”
He raised his eyebrows at you, then reached over to steal a fry from your plate. You glared at him playfully, but didn’t say anything.
“Do I have any plans? Uh… maybe the first two times I was supposed to graduate. But the third? Nah. The plan is just to get the hell out of that school.”
“Okay… Then can I ask you something else?”
He wiped his hands with his napkin again and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms.
“Okay. Shoot.”
“You’re…smart…”
When you paused to think about how best to continue your question, he snorted.
“Is that your question?”
“No, I’m trying to say… you’re really smart, and certainly smart enough to graduate. So how have you been held back so many times?”
He sighed loudly, and blew a puff of air out of his lips.
“Takes a certain special talent, I guess. It was actually sort of hard to do. No, actually, the answer depends on who you ask. If you ask my teachers, they would say it’s because I have an inability to focus in class. If you ask principal Higgins, he would say that I’m a degenerate who cares more about getting into trouble than succeeding in anything. And if you ask the guidance counselor, she would tell you that my unwillingness to move forward in life is due to a ‘fear of the unknown,’ and a direct result of my ‘rocky upbringing.’”
“And if I were to ask you?” You asked, cocking your head.
He took a pause to think about it, sipping his soda again. When the answer came to him, he traced a finger over the tabletop’s pattern absentmindedly.
“I would tell you that it’s because I can’t force myself to give a shit. About any of it.”
He looked sad as he continued to stare down at the table, and you wanted nothing more than to make him smile again.
“Would it be awful for me to say that I’m glad you flunked?” You teased, leaning forward to catch his attention. “Because we probably wouldn’t be here right now if you graduated when you were supposed to. Or last year, either, actually.”
He looked up at you, the first signs of a smile appearing on his face.
“What, do you think I would have actually gone anywhere if I had graduated?”
“Absolutely. Are you kidding?”
“I think the guidance counselor would disagree with you.”
“Well, the guidance counselor can kiss my ass. You are way too good for this town, Eddie Munson. And you are going to graduate this year. I know you will.”
You could tell he wanted to object, but the look on your face was warning him not to. He chuckled with a little shake of his head.
“Alright, how about we make one more deal then? I work hard and actually graduate, and you get the hell out of this town like you planned. Sound fair?”
“Fine. I guess that is fair,” You reluctantly agreed. “But only if you agree to get out of this town, too.”
He nodded and looked down at his hands that were resting flat on the table, then reached to twist the rings on his left hand nervously. You could tell there was something else on his mind.
“Okay. Now can I…ask you something now? Something personal?”
Uh oh.
“Sure?” You agreed tentatively.
“You said something at The Hideout last weekend… while you were…”
“Drunk?” You interrupted him, squeezing your eyes shut in humiliation.
“Yeah. So I don’t know if you really meant it or not, but… you said something about…how you’re a ‘ticking time bomb,’ I believe were the exact words you used? And that I…deserved somebody… ‘good, like me?’”
“Shit,” You muttered, reaching up to rub at your eyebrow. “Yeah, I remember. I wish I could lie and say I don’t, but I wasn’t that drunk. Unfortunately…”
“Right. So my question is… what the fuck was that about?” He paused to raise an eyebrow at you, then added pointedly, “Friend?”
It took everything in you not to slide down in the booth onto the floor and crawl outside, straight into traffic.
“Fuck… I’m so sorry. I was hoping you didn’t hear that part of my rambling…”
“Yeah, sorry,” He scoffed. “Not a chance.”
“I’m so embarrassed… Look, clearly, I… I was having some… confusing thoughts. About… well, I saw you with… with Jo. And I think it just made me feel kinda lonely.”
“Jo? Oh shit… I forgot you met her.”
He forgot? You spent all summer thinking about the two of them together, and he forgot?
“Well… I did,” You said a little too aggressively. “At the movies. In June. Your date with her?”
“No, yeah… I remember,” He said, fighting back a smile at your frustration with him. “But it wasn’t really… a date, date. I don’t think.”
“Oh? Really? Then what was all that then, at The Hideout?”
“What?” He laughed, unable to fight it back any longer. You snorted at him.
“‘Oh, Eddie,’” You mocked her, reaching out to grab his arm while pretending to fawn over him. “‘You looked so hot up there with your guitar. Marry me?’”
He laughed at you openly this time, clearly enjoying how worked up you had gotten. He’d never actually seen you act like this around him. You’d teased him before, but not like this. Not in a way that almost matched his own special brand of charisma.
“Was that supposed to be Jo or you?” He countered.
“Her, obviously!”
“So you didn’t think I was hot?”
You rolled your eyes at him.
“Don’t change the subject, Munson. What’s going on between the two of you?”
“Alright, alright. She came to see my band at the start of the summer, and she was nice and asked me to… hang out a… a couple times. Just casually. And I… I’m sorry, are these still friendly questions? Because I feel like I’m being interrogated a little bit.”
You didn’t like how he was anxiously dancing around the subject. Clearly, there was something about the two of them that he didn’t want you to know.
“I’m not interrogating you,” You argued. “I think I’m asking valid questions. You never mentioned her before.”
“Well, then, can I ask you about Steve?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, annoyed by his quick deflection.
“What about Steve?”
“Is that why you called him to come get you? Because seeing me with Jo made you feel…” He trailed off, then held up air quotes with his fingers. “‘Lonely?’”
“What? No. I… I called Steve, because nobody else would have been able to come get me. He was my only option.”
“Right. Besides… me,” He said indignantly, pointing a thumb to himself. “Who was already there, and completely ready and willing to drive you.”
“Please. That would have been… humiliating.”
“More humiliating than Steve “The Hair” Harrington threatening to kick my ass outside of a bar?”
You covered your eyes in shame. You had almost forgotten that part.
“Fuck… I am so sorry about that. If it helps at all, we fought over it.”
He eased up a bit when he saw how mortified you truly were over your decision to call Steve, relaxing back into his seat with a sigh.
“So what’s really going on there? Honestly?” He asked. “Because I’ve gotta say, the way he tried to defend your honor like that… didn’t seem very friend-like.”
You leaned forward, pushing your plate out of the way so you could cross your arms over the table, readying yourself for a vulnerable admission. It was the first time you would be speaking about what happened between you and Steve with somebody other than him, and it felt strange. It made it feel more real. Especially since it was Eddie.
“Okay…” You began, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know what you were thinking last year with all of the rumors about us, but… I swear we were just friends. Things didn’t become more… complicated… until recently. Over the summer.”
“Oh. The summer. Right.”
You could tell what he was thinking. He knew something changed in you that summer, and he was making an assumption that Steve was the cause of it. You wanted to tell him he was wrong, that it was so much more than that, but you knew you couldn’t. You sighed, and decided to at least give him the full, honest truth about one thing.
“We… we kissed. Once. At the end of August. And it kind of messed everything up. That’s all. I don’t even know if we’re friends anymore because we haven’t really talked since…but that’s what happened.”
“So… you guys aren’t, like… seeing each other causally or anything like that?”
“Like you and Jo, you mean?” You scoffed.
By now, you had pieced together what he meant by “casual,” and it didn’t exactly align with what you considered it to be. It was obvious that he had more romantic experience than you.
“Yeah… I guess,” He shrugged.
“No. We are definitely not.”
He seemed to perk up slightly at this revelation, but didn’t say anything. He just nodded and went back to fidgeting with his hands. You sighed loudly.
“Are you still seeing Jo?” You asked, then added, “Casually?” With an eye roll.
“No. It was just a fun, summer thing. We both knew it wasn’t going anywhere. We’re just friends.”
“Are you sure she knows that? Because she seemed very into you last weekend.”
“She’s just… flirtatious like that. It didn’t mean anything.”
He tilted his head to study you as you nodded slowly with your lips pursed together and stirred your milkshake with your straw.
“Are you pissed at me?” He asked you, his voice pitching up slightly in confusion.
“No. Of course not. Why would I be pissed?”
“I don’t know. Why would you be?”
“Well, I don’t know. Because I’m not pissed.”
Your eyebrows were raised as you took a drink of your milkshake and stared at him the whole time, and he scoffed at you in frustration. You set your glass down and began ripping up your straw wrapper anxiously as an awkward silence filled the air around you, and you couldn’t resist prodding him further to ease the burden of it.
“How many… how many people… have you been with? Casually or… otherwise?”
“Is that a question friends ask each other?”
You glared up at him.
“…Yes. You don’t have to answer it. I was just curious.”
“Not many,” He shrugged. “Two. Three, actually, I guess.”
You sat quietly for a minute to let that sink in. It wasn’t outrageous, but not really what you wanted to hear.
“Can I ask you the same question?” He asked.
You felt your cheeks turn red. Did Steve count as one? Or was he asking about how many you’d slept with? Wait, was three his number for people he’d slept with, or just done… other stuff with? Your head was starting to hurt and you regretted asking him the question in the first place. You looked up at him pleadingly, and he shook his head.
“Never mind, I don’t want to know,” He said with a chuckle, and you sighed gratefully, going back to ripping up the wrapper until it was nothing more than little white paper flakes.
“So… have you ever brought her here?” You asked quietly, staring at the shredded remains of your wrapper. You hadn’t learned your lesson from your previous question. You were dying to know.
“Who, Jo? No. I’ve never been here with anybody before, besides Wayne. It’s kind of, like… my little secret.”
“Then why did you bring me?”
“I don’t know,” He shrugged. “I just thought… maybe you’d appreciate it.”
He’d never brought anybody else there before. Maybe he had been with other girls, but at least there were some things he hadn’t done with them before that he wanted to do with you. It made you feel special. Not that you had a right to feel that way, since it wasn’t a real date, after all.
“I do appreciate it,” You said, barely above a whisper. “Thank you for bringing me.”
You smiled softly at each other, then your eyes drifted to Eddie’s digital watch.
“Oh, shit!” You yelled and reached out to grab his wrist to make sure you were reading the time correctly. He jumped slightly, his eyes widening in shock at your sudden outburst. It was almost midnight. “Is that the time? I should probably go… just in case my secret agent plan didn’t work on my parents.”
He studied your face, tapping his fingers on the table, and let out a disappointed sigh.
“Alright,” He agreed, then paused to take one last bite of his burger. “Let’s get you home, then. Wouldn’t want you turning into a pumpkin or something."
After the two of you went back and forth on who would pay and eventually agreed on just paying for your own meals, Eddie drove you home. You asked him to park down the street just in case your parents really had realized you were gone.
“Thanks again. For driving me,” You said with a contented sigh after he switched off his ignition and turned to you.
“Anytime.”
You knew you should have gotten out and left then, but you didn’t want the night to end yet. Instead, you turned back to him and asked, “Do you have a long drive home?”
“Not too long. I live out at… Forest Hills,” He admitted reluctantly. “You know it?”
“No shit! That’s where I’m helping my friend Max move in next weekend.”
He was taken aback by your excitement, and chuckled a little bit.
“Oh, yeah. Sinclair’s girlfriend. I’ve heard all about her, trust me. She was also… Billy Hargrove’s sister, right?”
It sent a jolt through you, hearing his name. You’d almost forgotten about him for the first time in months that night.
“Stepsister. Yeah,” You corrected him, looking down at your lap. “His asshole dad just ran out on her mom, left them with nothing. Max doesn’t really talk to me about it, but I know she’s struggling.”
You fell silent and he seemed to pick up on your distress instantly.
“I can help keep an eye out for her if you want, if you’re worried about her,” He offered quickly.
You turned your head against the headrest of your seat to look at him. He had a kind, warm smile that made you feel like melting into your seat.
“That would be amazing. Thank you, Eddie.”
He nodded and then rested his head against the back of his seat, too, that smile still on his face as he watched you. He was so kind. So good. Your heart ached.
“Can I ask you something before I go?” You said quietly. He nodded again, his eyes still fixated on you.
“What’s inside of you that compels you to do that? To help people like that?”
“What do you mean?” He asked, his brows furrowed.
“You let the boys sit with you on their first day of school because they had nowhere else to sit. You’re offering to help Max, who you’ve never even met. And… you helped me. Last year. When Carol and Tommy were being assholes in the hallway. You almost got into a fight for me. What drives you to do those things?”
“I… I don’t know. Well, first of all, I helped you with Carol and Tommy because I owed you for the cigarettes, remember?” He chuckled. You weren’t amused.
“Eddie. We both know that’s bullshit. You just can’t help yourself, can you? No matter who it is, whether you know them or not, you just can’t help being the protector. Throwing yourself over the grenade. I need to know what it is that compels you to do that. I have to know where that comes from.”
He blinked at you in the dark blue midnight light, confused by your urgency, unsure how to respond. Then after a few moments, he took a deep breath and began to speak so uncharacteristically quietly that you had to lean in closer to hear.
“Maybe it’s just because… I know what it’s like. I’m sure it’s hard to imagine now, but I was a scared kid once, too. I got beaten up all the time before I met Jeff and the others. And after, too, a little bit, but not as bad. Then when I got to high school and we found Hellfire, it became a little easier to be my loud, obnoxious self once I found other people that liked the same weird shit as me. And I felt some power in that. But I also drew some negative attention from it, obviously.”
He trailed off and looked at you, and you nodded, willing him to say what he was holding back. He bit his lip anxiously, but took a deep breath and continued anyways.
“It did a pretty good job keeping me out of trouble for a while, but when I was 14, I kinda snapped and lost it on this kid who just would not let up. It was terrifying. It was like, I didn’t even have control over myself. I pretty much beat him within an inch of his life before my friends could pull me off of him.”
He stopped to look over at you, and seemed to clock the horror on your face that you were failing to conceal.
“Did you know about that?” He asked, grimacing.
You shook your head no.
“I thought maybe you did. I mean, everybody and their mother heard about it. That’s pretty much when I became the town pariah. The “Freak." I assumed that was why you tried to stay away from me for so long.”
“No. I… I had no idea.”
“Well, the cops got involved, but thanks to my uncle, they didn’t press charges. I don’t know what he did, but I know he saved me. And after, he sat me down, and he told me that I had to make a choice. I had to decide if I wanted to hold onto all the anger and implode like everybody else in my family had, or I could just… let it go. The idea of being anything like my old man really did the trick. So I let it go. I chose to start laughing at all the bullshit instead of getting mad over it. And it wasn’t easy at first, pretending not to care. But eventually I got used to it, and people stopped messing with me. Mostly because they were scared of me, but also because they realized they couldn’t get to me anymore. It just makes life a whole lot easier when you don’t take it seriously. A lot less painful. And after a while I started trying really hard to use that superpower for good, you know?” He paused, laughing at himself a little. “I figured, if people are gonna be scared of me, I may as well use that to help out people like me. Protect the people who need it. People who… who don’t have anybody to sit with at lunch. Like you and me. I don’t know. It’s the least I could do.”
You found yourself suddenly struggling to hold back tears. You knew he hadn’t had an easy life, but hearing these details struck you deeply. He was absolutely remarkable, and much stronger than you could have ever imagined. For him to make it through that and still be the soft, gentle, goofy person he was? He had to be a real-life fucking superhero. He was incredible. And you didn’t even know his full story yet.
“But, how do you keep that up?” You asked, your voice cracking. “I mean, don’t you get tired of pretending not to care? Don’t you ever feeling like exploding?”
“Yeah. All the time. But, you know, I have my outlets. Weed helps. Weed helps a lot. And other… nondescript drugs.”
“Eddie, I’m serious.”
“So am I. Drugs. And music. My band, my friends, my uncle, Hellfire. And… talking to you tonight. That helped… quite a bit.”
You looked away from him and sniffled, trying to pretend like it wasn’t taking everything in you to hold it together.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” You said, your voice raspy.
He didn’t respond. His glassy eyes just searched you in the dark.
“I really like hanging out with you,” He said instead.
“I do, too.”
“I mean, I really like hanging out with you.”
“Eddie…” You said pleadingly, still looking down at your hands.
“What?”
“We’re… we’re just friends. Remember?”
“Right. Yeah. Friends. Because friends get jealous about the people their friends have dated.”
You turned your head back to him to glare at him.
“What?”
“I didn’t like hearing about Harrington kissing you, Y/N. And I know you didn’t like seeing me with Jo last weekend.”
Your mouth fell open, and you scoffed at him reproachfully.
“I… Why would you even be interested in me Eddie?” You deflected, because you knew you couldn’t argue with the fact that you were jealous of Jo. “After everything? After all the shit I’ve put you through?”
“Are you serious? You mean besides the fact that we had a great night and you’re insanely pretty?”
“Eddie… don’t. I mean… why did tonight even happen? Why do you keep… trying? I really don’t know if I’m worth all of this.”
“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. That’s not true.”
“It is true. I’m a fucking mess, Eddie. And you’re… you. I may have been drunk when I said what I said last weekend, but I still meant it. You’re good, and you deserve somebody good and easy that sees the world like you do…”
“You wanna know what I see in you? What I’ve always seen in you?” He interrupted you quickly. “I remember you from middle school. You know that?”
You blinked at him, your mouth hanging open.
“You do?”
“Yeah. You were… so cool. So tough. Even though you were younger than me, you used to scare the shit out of me, honestly. You had me shaking in my little Reeboks. But I was also completely entranced by you. You just had this… I don’t know what to call it. Light? Just absolutely fucking radiating from you all the time, blinding me. And I noticed when… when things changed in you. Like, something was fighting inside of you to snuff it out. When Harrington and the others dropped you and you started sitting alone at lunch. And I wanted to go sit by you so badly. Just to talk to you, just to see that light in you again. But for some reason, I kept talking myself out of it. I think I was just scared, you know? That you would tell me to fuck off, or you would hate me. And that honestly probably would have killed me. So I just stayed away. And then when you got to high school… I almost went up to you. I should have. But every time I tried to talk to you I couldn’t tell if you wanted me to or not. So I tried to give you your space. But I couldn’t stop wondering… if maybe that light was still there. And each time I talked to you again I kept getting little glimpses of it, and I wanted more. So I kept trying, year after year, rejection after rejection. And then tonight… fuck. Now I know it’s still there. It’s still fighting to get out, despite all the shit you’ve gone through. I just had to earn it. And I gotta say, it’s definitely worth all the effort. Because, I swear… you’re fucking magic, Y/N. There’s nobody like you.”
You couldn’t fight the tears back anymore. It was too much. He was too perfect, too kind. Nobody had ever, ever said anything remotely like that about you before. He had noticed you the whole time, before you even noticed him. He called you magic. Him.
You tried and failed to hide your emotions from him, and as soon as he noticed, he immediately turned his whole body towards you in preparation to comfort you.
“I’m sorry, did I say something to upset you? Did I freak you out?”
“No, it’s nothing,” You said quickly, waving a hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Obviously it’s not nothing. If I scared you away… I understand. I know I’m a lot, trust me.”
You shook your head as you tried to stop your tears.
“No, no. Definitely not. I just can’t believe… I think you’re just a really amazing person, Eddie. Maybe even the best I’ve ever met,” You admitted quietly. “And I wish I’d gotten to know you better so much sooner.”
His face changed from concern to shock, then to something that looked a whole lot like longing, all in one split second.
“Me too. The second you got to high school and you pierced me with those eyes of yours from across the cafeteria while I was acting like an idiot… I wish I’d walked over and asked you out right then and there. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“It’s my fault,” You sniffled, shaking your head. “I’m always running away. I wish I could stop running away.”
He reached out to wipe one of your tears away, and you shamelessly kept your eyes locked on him the entire time. He let his ring-clad fingers linger on your cheek, and your eyelids fluttered from the shock of the cool sensation of metal against your skin.
“I wanna kiss you,” He said plainly. You were taken aback by his honesty. Nobody had ever said that to you so plainly before.
“You do?”
He nodded, his thumb still brushing your cheek as his eyes darted around your face. If he could be honest, you could, too.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted that,” You whispered.
He leaned forward towards you, and you stayed completely still as you watched and waited for him, wanting to take in every single moment. Then his lips were finally against yours, pulling you into a kiss so soft and gentle that it made you want to cry all over again.
The only comparison you had was your kiss with Steve, but you instantly knew that this was what it was really supposed to feel like. It wasn’t fumbling, or rushed, or too heavy. It was perfect. It felt like a thousand tiny little shockwaves being sent through your body.
You recognized the feeling immediately. Electricity. And not just that, but something else, too. Something purer. It was laced with complete adoration and trust. He had been nothing but gentle and honest with you the entire time he’d known you, from the very first time you spoke with him. But this also made you realize that you hadn’t been so truthful. There was a large part of your life that you had been keeping from him. You suddenly felt like a fraud. That you weren’t actually the person he thought you were.
And if you were honest with him, what would happen then? Would he believe you? Would he think you were insane? If he did believe you, would that mean that he would be in danger the next time something inevitably happened? What if something bad happened to him? The intrusive image of Max sobbing over Billy’s body reentered your brain, and you pulled away from him quickly, turning your head. He backed away slightly in surprise, but kept his hand on your cheek as concern reappeared on his face.
“What’s wrong?” He asked with furrowed brows, trying to get you to look at him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I can’t… we can’t… do this.”
When you said this, he immediately removed his hand from you and sat back in his seat, trying to hide the look of dejection on his face. You watched him as he turned his head away from you to look out the window, clamping a hand to his mouth. It pained you seeing him so shut down.
“Eddie… I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, then turned back to face out the windshield, still trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with you.
“I can’t figure you out, Y/N. You gotta help me out here. Because I’ve been bending over backwards trying to figure out what you want from me for far too long. I’m trying really hard to be patient, because I understand. I really do. And I know I’m not… the best option for you. So if you really want me to leave you alone, it’s fine, but you’ve gotta tell me now. Once and for all. Because I can’t keep doing this.”
“Eddie, it’s not that. I swear to you, it has nothing to do with you. You’re… perfect. I just have… a lot of shit I need to work out. Trust me, I’m the problem here. Can’t we just… can’t we just be friends? Like we agreed?”
He cocked his head at you impatiently.
“You know I don’t want that, right? You’ve gotta know that. I want more than that. I want to spend time with you exactly like this, exactly like tonight, but I want to be able to call it a date, and I want to be able to kiss you again. I don’t want to have to hold back with this. I want to be with you.”
It still shocked you how straightforward he was being, despite the fact that he’d never been anything other than that. It felt strange to have someone fight for you like this.
“I’m sorry. I want all that, too…”
“Then what is it? I don’t understand.”
You leaned forward in your seat to put your head in your hands. You didn’t even know where to begin. He waited for an answer as long as he could before he let out a deep breath.
“Is this about whatever’s keeping you stuck in this town?” He asked, then after another breath, he added more quietly, “Whoever keeps bruising up your face?”
“What?” You gasped in shock, straightening yourself up to look at him again.
“I went by the general store while you were working back in July, and I saw the bruises on your face. I would have walked in right then and there and tried to find out whoever did it, I wanted to more than anything, but I… didn’t think I had the right to. If that person is still in your life now, though, if you need help, I’ll do anything. I swear. I’ll kill them myself…”
“Eddie!” You interrupted him, gripping his arm tightly. “Slow down, it’s not… it’s not like that, I promise! I’m fine now. I’m okay. That person’s not…” you trailed off, thinking about Billy’s lifeless, blood-covered face on the floor of the mall once again, and removed your hand from him quickly. “That person can’t hurt me anymore,” You concluded weakly. Eddie could tell right away from your voice that there was more to the story, though.
“Look, I know you told me nothing is going on between you and Steve anymore, but if he was hurting you…”
“It really wasn’t Steve. Okay? I know he was an asshole once - and you probably still think that he is - but even back then, he never would have done that to me. Ever. Please believe me.”
“Then… please, can you just… can you just tell me what’s really going on?” He begged you wearily. You swallowed, trying to come to terms with some portion of the truth that you could share with him.
“In July… it was… I was there. At the mall, on The Fourth. During the…fire.” It physically pained you to lie to him like that, but that was as close to honest as you could get.
His face softened as he studied the tortured look on your face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“I know. It’s fine,” You said quickly, trying to brush it off. He fell quiet, and then after a moment, he couldn’t resist pressing you further.
“Is that what you’re trying to save me from? From whatever happened at the mall?”
“Eddie, please,” You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut in exasperation.
“Listen, I’m sorry, but I know there’s more to the story there. And if it’s something you know about, something I can help you with… I want to help.”
When he said this, your fear intensified. He was closer to figuring out the truth than you realized, and if he did figure it out, he would most likely do everything in his power to protect you. Even if it meant putting himself in harm’s way. He could never resist throwing himself on a grenade, after all.
Eddie was amazing. He said all the right things, and he made you laugh, and he made you feel safe and comfortable in your skin. It had been an amazing night. But it was selfish of you to bring him into your messy life. You had roped him in when he had no idea how high the stakes really were.
You couldn’t let him end up like Billy. Or Bob. Or Barbara. Or Hopper. Each person you had to watch your friends lose was a lesson, and it would be thoughtless to ignore it.
He could never really know about what you’d been through. You wouldn’t have it. You wouldn’t take his freedom away from him. His future. It wasn’t right. He’d been through so much already. You couldn’t let him get involved.
You knew instantly what you had to do. You had to push him away one last time.
“You’ve just been dying to save me from myself this whole time, haven’t you?” You snapped. “To rescue me, just like you try to rescue everybody else.”
“What? No. I want to help you, but it’s not like that. It’s… I don’t know. Maybe I thought…”
“Thought what?”
“That… you could save me, too. That we could save each other.”
When he said this, it felt like a punch in the gut. Little did he know that this was your chance to be selfless, like him. Pushing him away was saving him, even if it hurt him. Even though you wanted nothing more than to be the one he could always confide in.
“Eddie… I can’t save you, and you can’t save me. This isn’t some… fantasy novel or D&D. This is real life shit, and it’s… look, if you don’t want to stay friends, then I think we need to move on. This is me officially asking you to leave me alone. Okay? Thank you for tonight. I’m… I’m sorry.”
He didn’t argue. He just frowned at you, his face screwed up tightly as if he was in physical pain. You’d never seen him look so sad or confused in your entire life. It took everything in you to turn away from him, to fight more tears back as you unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of his van. You walked briskly away and didn’t stop until you made it up to your room and shut the door quietly, falling face down on your bed. After several minutes of a decent, self-pitying cry, you got the urge to pull out your Walkman and listen to something that might soothe you. When you shuffled through your tapes, you paused when you got to Bella Donna - the album you had talked to Eddie about at the diner - and decided to play it for old-time’s sake. You collapsed back onto your bed and shut your eyes, letting Stevie Nicks take you back to where it all started. You began to feel a little better until Leather and Lace started to play, and the lyrics were like a knife to the heart. You had listened to it a million times before, but now it suddenly felt like it was written for you and Eddie. You began to bawl all over again.
He was the strong, outgoing one who had the ability to bring you to life, and you wanted nothing more than to let him open up to you again the way he had before you’d gotten spooked.
Maybe now it was your involvement with the supernatural keeping the two of you apart, but this wasn’t a new feeling. There was something there already, all this time, keeping you from him. Something that Eddie had clearly noticed as well. Otherwise, you would have gone to see Corroded Coffin the very first time he asked when you were seventeen. You probably would have already been a couple. Maybe you wouldn’t have even wound up in that junkyard last November. But something had always been in the way, keeping him at a distance, and now it was too late.
The problem was that your heart had been broken long before you met him. You didn’t even realize it until then, but listening to the record again as it stirred up old emotions in you, it was apparent that it hadn’t actually ever healed. You remembered how you used to sob every time the final track of the album played. “The Highwayman.” You, in your infinite pre-teen wisdom, believed Steve to be your highwayman. The one who valued glory over your love for him when he suddenly stopped speaking to you and became the most popular boy in school.
“And still, they try again.”
Maybe that’s why you were so mad at Steve about your kiss. Maybe it brought up all of those repressed memories of betrayal the same way your record was now. Maybe you were actually still angry about what you thought had happened between the two of you in middle school, even though you believed you were past it after finding out the truth. You had never been fully honest with him about how much it had shattered you. You assumed it didn’t matter anymore, but if it really didn’t, then you probably would have told him about it. You were still clearly wounded, left with the lingering bitterness of unworthiness and shame. And you really only had yourself to blame.
Sure, Carol and Tommy had done their fair share of filling your head with insecurities, but it was you who believed them and held onto every word. You were still holding on. The lovelorn, anxiety-rattled thirteen-year-old in you was still there, still unsure of how to mend what had never actually been broken by somebody else. Because Steve had never really broken your heart. He never even knew how you felt about him. You broke it all on your own, and you had to figure out how to heal it on your own, too.
You just really, really had to get your shit together.
How was it even possible that in less than a year, you had discovered another dimension beneath Hawkins and kissed two different boys that you had only ever dreamed about getting close to? No wonder you were so messed up.
You started the tape over again and got under your covers with your clothes still on, eventually crying yourself to sleep.
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I think a lot of the younger fandom, the ones who often forget that Sam and Colby are both almost thirty, living their lives, while having a passion for youtube/paranormal, are indeed that. Adults.
They can take criticism and adjust if they want to, yet in my eyes I have no issues with them keeping life private, doing what they need to do and posting when they want to. I'm sure they are working insanely hard behind the scenes, the only problem really is that fans not all, but some believe they are entitled to have them engaging or posting when they want them to.
If they want that, then look for other channels, the Sidemen post every one to two days on one of their many channels plus on sideplus. A lot of british commentators post twice or three times a week.
Depending on the content and the context of what they are doing, taking time is better than getting a half assed not fully finished product.
As a fan who is older than most (at least I think so) it's shameful how others act.
/gets off soap box.
i agree with you. i think too many fans expect snc to just tell us everything that's happening with them at all times, bc they've done that for so many years. and bc fans are expecting that openness, when they don't get it… they feel like snc are hiding from us. when really they are just setting a boundary and all of those fans freaking out are just upset they don't have the inside scoop anymore.
bc look, if all of this was just about content and the lack of it recently, then i would be on board for the frustration. bc it is a bit sad to see less and less of them. but, if they don't want to share with us what they do in their free time, i'm not gonna harp on them for it. the one vid a month has been the usual for some time, they post on react weekly, and just bc they don't interact with us all the time like they once did doesn't mean they've changed.
like, the fandom 12 million ppl in it, even if snc wanted to talk to everyone in the fandom, they wouldn't be able to. and sorry, but it's not the end of the world if they don't want to talk to fans on twitter or any site for that matter. you aren't warranted unfeathered access to them just bc you buy merch or have supported them for years. it's not snc's job to interact with us. it's an added bonus, for our benefit (and theirs too). but it's only really mutual for them when WE AREN'T DICKHEADS to them.
personally, if snc only tweet out links to vids and merch drops from this point forward, i wouldn't lose sleep over it. who cares. my god lol
but the fact of the matter is all of this drama started with the girls. once they got in the picture, everyone started finding reasons to be hateful. and maybe now they aren't the sole reason, but they were the beginning. and snc have been flat out telling us that going on social media and seeing everyone's comments, mostly on twitter, is hard for their mental healths. and if the ppl on there can't accept that or want to argue about it, babes... you ain't got no one to blame but yourselves. bc snc have ALWAYS been forgiving, always been ppl pleasers. they wouldn't just randomly ice out part of the fandom for no reason.
but idk why i bother. if you don't agree with that side of the fandom, you're just an snc dick rider or too far up their asses to be "real" about them lol but look, if that means i know i can go to sleep at night knowing i haven't been ragging on their gfs for months on end or saying they've changed bc they set a boundary, then idc. call me snc's #1 dick rider.
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since you seem to know the people in destination fear (now project fear), I need to ask two things: are they known for faking evidence? & is that tall guy (i believe his name is tanner)’s voice truly that deep? cause damn dude 😰😰. I’ve been watching some of their videos (currently watching pennhurst) and they seem to get a good chunk of evidence. i’m digging them so far, since snc haven’t been giving me the rush anymore with all their guests and dares and rituals and re-enactments, feels like i’m watching a fabricated reality show tbh. worth for the entertainment, completely null for the paranormal. i’ve watched other paranormal content creators, like paranormal files, twin paranormal (their personalities are SO stark contrast against their looks, makes me laugh every single time), Steve and Dylan’s channel (which I also really like and miss them collabing w snc), exploringwithjosh (though less now bc he collabs a lot w seth and after that incident and what his ex said, which left me completely nauseated, I can’t watch the guy anymore. shame bc I really liked his vibe investigating and how good he was at Estes), even kris and celina as well but I guess I’m digging paranormal fear more and more as I watch their content.
I don't actually know of anything controversial with them paranormal wise. I will say; however, that Dakota got his start on Ghost Adventures before Zak spun him out into his own show (which Zak was the EP of for many years)...so take from that what you will.
I truly don't watch any paranormal content on youtube these days, outside of snc (and that I mostly watch for snc themselves, tbh). I did watch a few episodes of Destination Fear over the years and didn't mind it, but to be honest, I tend to forget that they moved to YouTube and do their thing over there now. My brain is just so fried these days lol.
Now, Twin Paranormal is one who I will say I find extremely suspect, paranormal evidence wise. Anyone who uses a cell phone app for evp's is just...not for me 🤣.
I don't think you have to worry about Josh and Seth collabing anymore, anon. Josh made it clear that those days are over, from my understanding.
I believe he also made it clear that he's going back to urbex content because the paranormal community has gotten so out of hand lately, so I guess it doesn't really matter. But yea, Josh is flying solo these days.
Anywho, snc and Project Fear did recently film a collab (or maybe 2, not sure) together, so there is that to look forward to as well, if you're in to Project Fear and want to see snc maybe give the hyperactive streamer route a break!
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it’s a good thing i started this silly little birthday fic 1.5 weeks ago. this turned into a Thing TM. i had to wait on some events to unfold and then, when i queued this up last night, the weather decided to throw a curve ball at me this morning lol. anyways, oblig bday fic bcs im the coolest person around.
Birthday Call
May 17th 2023
Étienne finishes the last of his birthday cupcake when his phone starts buzzing. Figuring it must be some other birthday message, he picks it up without really paying attention to the name on the screen, until he realises that it’s a video call from none other than Edward.
Delighted, he sits a little straighter and makes sure there’s no icing on his face before he accepts the call.
“Well, hello there, handsome; this is a surprise.” He greets with a warm smile as his boyfriend appears on the screen. He takes a moment to quietly mourn the loss of the playoff beard and instead takes in Edward’s clean-cut face. The beard had been majestic. It’s a shame it couldn’t have lasted longer. (Edward wears his beard really well, what can he say. He’s aware that he has a thing, but Edward looks good with facial hair. He should consider growing it outside of playoffs, really. It would be to everyone’s advantage. His, for starters. Even if he’s far and can’t get the full tactile benefits of feeling it drag against his skin. At least he would be able to admire it when they have their little video chats.)
Anyways. He’s digressing. It is a surprise, really. He always looks forward to calls from Edward, even if he’d rather have him here with him. Plus, with recent events happening in Alberta, Edward’s been pulled in different directions as of late and Étienne knows, even if Edward’s never said it outright, that it’s all been taking a toll on him. Hell, if anything else, Étienne has seen it on his face when they have such video calls. (He sees it now too, but he pushes the worry away for now.) (He’s seen the manic edge to his gaze and the unhinged spark in his eyes. He knows the look – has been familiar with it in his own reflection for too long.)
“I wasn’t going to forget your birthday, who do you take me for?” Edward gives him a contrite look, daring Étienne to accuse him of such a fault, but Étienne doesn’t fall for the bait, and instead he hums, content, and twirls a strand of his hair around his finger. He knows Edward wasn’t going to forget (Edward’s never forgotten), but he also would have understood if his boyfriend wouldn’t have had the time – or mental energy to call, what with the current situation in Alberta, the end of the playoffs, and the looming election.
Still, he’s pleased as punch that Edward has managed to find the time to call and that he just so happens to be around for it.
“I take you for my wonderful and thoughtful boyfriend who even sent me a parcel for my birthday.” He smiles again and it seems to do the trick.
“Damn right I am.” Edward scoffs, crossing his arms, before his expression softens a little, “I’m glad you got it on time. I was worried it wouldn’t make it – or that it’d be late.”
“It would have just made the festivities last longer, but I got it this morning; it was a very good start to my day.” Étienne had been surprised by the gift, honestly not expecting anything, but once he’d seen who the parcel was from, he’d eagerly torn through the wrapping to find out what Edward could have possibly sent him, leaving the birthday letter for last. (He’d always been ever so fond of the letters Edward sent him. Those in themselves were gift enough.)
“Good, I’m glad.” Edward even seems pleased with himself and as silly as it sounds, it makes Étienne happy. Edward should always feel pleased with himself, regardless of what endeavour he’s taken on. It’s a good look on him anyways. (Étienne might be a little biased. He doesn’t care. He has impeccable taste.)
A little sigh escapes Edward’s lips after a beat and Étienne notices again how tired he looks. The deep, dark circles under his eyes – the worry lines that aren’t usually there. The pinched set of his brow. The way his shoulders sag ever so, as if the weight of every situation currently happening in his province has been put on him and he can no longer handle it. (And maybe it has. After all, Edmonton is the capital, and he knows that it comes with an extra set of responsibilities he’s ever so thankful he’s escaped.) The light in his eyes seems dimmer as well and Étienne worries from afar, wishing he could magic away all of Edward’s problems.
“How are you holding up?” He asks softly, unable to stop himself. He knows Edward can outright lie to him and that he can water down the truth, but Étienne needs to check in. Assess for himself. Étienne may not be going through the same things as him, but he’s been in similar shoes, and he can be sympathetic if nothing else. He knows what it’s like when the emotions of the people overwhelm and take over your own. Knows what it’s like to feel the euphoria of victory one moment and deep anger and emptiness at a loss the next. It unites and it divides.
He’s lived through his fair share of political unrest, from bitter resentment to the want for change. He’s been there. Tumbled through the whirlwind only to be spat out on the other side, never sure the waters have ever calmed down, trying to regain unsteady footing and stumbling along the way. Therefore, he has a small inkling as to what Edward might be feeling, to some degree, even if the situations aren’t all the same. (At least, if anything, he knows for a fact that Edward is not alone – that Calvin is keeping an eye on him as well and that, if push comes to shove, he can reach out to Calvin if he’s really that worried. That too, he supposes, must be some odd advantage.) (And yes, he knows Calvin is also going through his own ordeal.)
Edward shrugs and passes a hand through his hair and then scrubs it over his clean-shaven face. “You know, same shit, different day. But enough of this depressing talk. I called because it’s your birthday. Distract me, please.”
Étienne chuckles – that he can do. He’s been distracting Edward from his problems for over forty years now and he’s not about to stop anytime soon. In fact, he’s quite good at it, if he dares say so himself.
“Well, if it’s a distraction you want, I’ll have you know that I can be very distracting,” He leans on his palm, propped up by his arm, and puts on his best flirtatious air, before he winks at Edward and then waggles his eyebrows in an exaggerated way. A laugh bubbles out of Edward’s chest and escapes through his mouth, and Étienne grins, pleased that he’s managed to make him laugh for a moment.
“How has your birthday been so far?” His boyfriend prompts, once he recovers from his fit of laughter.
“Not too bad, I must say. A bit on the cold side. Can you believe, it actually snowed?! It didn’t last, but it snowed on my birthday. The travesty of it all.” It had snowed for about five and a half minutes, if that much, but he had been insulted, nonetheless.
Edward laughs at his antics and Étienne is glad that his melodramatics make Edward laugh. It had been his goal, after all.
“Poor baby,” Edward coos, “Too bad I’m not there to keep you warm.” Edward teases, much to Étienne’s delight.
“Such a shame, really. The only thing missing from this birthday so far was waking up next to you, but who knows, maybe some other year.” Étienne knows the universe would need to align in many different ways for it to happen, but he wants to be confident that it could happen in some foreseeable future.
“Anyways, El and I went out for brunch this morning, had birthday cupcakes, got a really nice gift from my boyfriend and Emma’s on her way as we speak. The three of us are going out to dinner and Emma’s staying for the long weekend, so that’ll be cool. Friday, me, Emma and El and some of our friends are going out to some club my sister’s been going on about and that’s about it.” He lists the plans off his finger for a moment to make sure he hasn’t missed anything and then nods to himself. “Yup that’s it.”
“Hang on,” Edward interjects, “Your sister?” He repeats to make sure he’s understood correctly, “Your sister likes clubs? How am I finding out about this now? When the hell did this happen?”
Étienne laughs, “You think I’m the wild child? You’ve clearly never seen my sister hit the clubs then. She has moves like no other and can really let loose.” He watches, amused, as Edward blinks slowly, trying to process the information.
“I’m not sure what to do with this news and I cannot unsee this now. You’re pulling my leg.”
It’s a gift Élyse has, he supposes. Everyone expects it from him. After all, Élyse takes her city job seriously. Élyse is level-headed. Élyse is the good twin. But what people tend to forget is that Élyse also likes the thrum of a thick crowd and the pulse of a beating city. She needs their high as much as he does and lives for a good time. “What can I say; we both love to get lost in a crowd and be surrounded by people. Next time you’re in town, we’ll go out with her.” He laughs at the utter confusion written on Edward’s face and thinks about getting a screenshot of it.
“I’ve been visiting you for over forty years and I never would have assumed that about your sister; wow.” Edward looks as if he’s re-evaluating everything he knows about Élyse. Étienne makes himself a mental note to relay the information to his sister later on. He knows for a fact that she’ll get a kick out of it and that she’ll never let Edward live it down. Ever.
However, he gets it, really. Élyse will give him center floor in a group, but if left to her own devices, she can schmooze as well as he can. Together, they are an unbeatable force, and they can work a crowd to their advantage in a heartbeat. It’s just a shame that no one’s ever really given his sister the chance to do so and that he’s stepped out permanently from his city job.
“In your defence, you only saw her at my place; but I’m pretty sure she can drink us both under the table, keep her head about it, and outlast us on a dance floor. There may have also been the lack of overlap with the types of clubs we were visiting back then. Not sure El would have appreciated crowds of gyrating men.” He grins to himself, making far away plans for a next time when Edward will be in town and inviting his sister to go out with them. He’s not sure either of them would accept, but he can still dream. If anything, he no longer has to keep Edward’s big secret and there are actual places where the three of them could have a good time, now that he and Edward are doing loads better.
“I will never be able to look at your sister the same way ever again.” There may be a hint of awe and fear in Edward’s voice and Étienne chuckles, amused, knowing that Élyse would approve of the second part.
They chat for a while longer, until Étienne receives a message from Emma telling him that she’s nearly there. They exchange goodbyes, Edward wishing him a happy birthday one more time.
“Y’know, when everything settles, if you need to get away from it all for a bit, my door’s always open…” He starts and he kind of hates how hesitant he almost sounds, as if afraid Edward would scoff at the idea, as he worries his bottom lip. “I’m aware you’ll have your work cut out for you and you’ll be busy, but – whenever you want to, you know where to find me.” He adds, quick to recover. “And, obviously, I’m only a phone call away, if you need to vent or just need a distraction. Even if it’s ass o’clock in the night. There’s gotta be some advantage to my insomnia.” He gives Edward a tentative smile and is relieved when his boyfriend returns it.
A myriad of different platitudes run through his head from “don’t worry, you’ll get through this” and “You’ve been through worse – this won’t be what does you in” and even “Please be safe. I hope you and yours stay safe” as he tries to think of some encouraging thing to say, but they all sound flat and lame to his ears. This has never really been their thing. They don’t really offer each other these empty sounding words of comfort, even if in their essence, they all mean the same thing; I’m worried. I want you safe. I need you safe. (I need to know that you’ll be okay. That you’re okay. The idea of something bad happening to you sets my own teeth on fire. I can’t sleep at night because I worry. I pray to a God I no longer really look up to for your safety. Please, please, please be okay.)
“I know and I appreciate it, really. Who knows, I might just take you up on your offer.” Edward tells him with a reassuring smile. In a perfect world, he’d snap his fingers and all of Edward’s problems would vanish. They would be able to start planning Edward’s visit right away, but the confirmation that Edward would like to visit him soon, weather permitting, is enough for now.
“Looking forward to it, whenever that may be.” This is the point where he should hang up, but he doesn’t really want to. Not yet anyways. He wants to say something else, and there are a thousand different thoughts running through his mind, but none of them feels substantial enough to convey everything he still fails to say.
“I love you,” He settles for instead, because he does and because he’s allowed to tell Edward how he feels about him and, he really wants Edward to know and hear it. Especially now. It might not fix anything at all, but it might make him smile and feel a positive emotion for the briefest of moments. Plus, it feels like the only thing he can say to end the conversation, and maybe, just maybe, Edward will understand everything else that it means.
He’ll never know for sure if Edward gets all of it, but his boyfriend smiles softly at him and maybe, in his own way, Edward tries to reassure him as well. “Me too,” He says and then adds, “I’ll talk to you soon, yeah? Now, off with you; you have to get ready for your birthday celebrations so that you can tell me all about your wild and crazy adventures. Make me live vicariously through you.”
Étienne nods and chuckles, promising him that he will and with one final goodbye and one last happy birthday, he ends the call.
FIN
#pc: montreal#pc: montreal west#pc: edmonton#edward murphy#élyse maisonneuve#étienne maisonneuve#fic#projocanondoko#betcha wasn't expecting some random info on élyse eh
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10 Anti LO Asks
(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.)
1. I can't even trustt this "cute" moment between zeus and artemis bc rachel is just way too anti zeus and too big of a fan of "twist" villains that I just have the feeling she's going to use this as a stepping stone to set up artemis the next villain because idk she doesnt like hades still and be like oh what BETRAYAL of persephone! now both of the twins should be punished now! or w/e.
2. It's not just that a time skip is lazy and out of place, if you're just going to flashback to explain what happened anyway, then don't do a time skip? Just show the progression as you already have done? Why skip ahead only to jump back? She's basically trying to do too many things at once and none of it is done well.
3. the wild part to me is has rachel ACTUALLY read the old texts? because they're way more progressive than her work. demeter's hymn praised her and persephone while calling out the abuse of men, women like aphrodite (who has a ton of sex with many partners) or artemis who didnt have sex were all held to high respect and never shamed for their choices, and stories like the odyssey/Iliad explicitly called out slavery, yet rachel is here in 2022 being ore conservative than men from 800 BC. like???
4. A time skip in LO isn’t a bad idea in and of itself. We’ve been complaining about RS’s slow pacing for years and she’s finally taking a different approach, which is good! The only problem is that her execution of the time skip ends up leaving out integral and interesting details about how the characters’ relationships with each other have changed in the decade since we’ve seen them. I was looking forwards to Minthe and Perse reconciliation arc but we don’t even know how they grew to that point
5. I love the her current look is a "turn off" line tho bc it's both persephone being aware hades is a gross old man who only dates under 25 years olds but doesnt seem to linger on this realization (P is legit so stupid) but also that rachel has zero self awareness that shes not a very good artist bc persephone still looks exactly the same despite being ten years older. like rachel will just say whatever lie she thinks up despite direct contradiction in comic and be like wow im such a good writer
6. Out of all things wrong with LO, I don't think I mind the switch from serious to silly in the mid-season premiere chapter? The part where Zeus gets threatened with ConSEqueNCEs for punishing Persephone is dumb as hell, but the transition to her speaking to the screen like she's talking to the audience before revealing something ridiculous is a tried and tested way of moving to a new scene, so I kinda like it. It's marred by her talk of pierced ears and green hands, but it's not bad.
7. How did you get into Lore Olympus in the first place?
From OP: I found LO after seeing a lot of ads for it. I already knew of its existence but decided to try it because why not (I think I got into it around episode 70ish). I was obsessed with it, not solely because of the romance but because of the art. However, I started to question a lot of the stuff in the story and looked through youtube and tumblr to see if I was the only one feeling this way. Surprise surprise, I wasn’t and now I’m here lol.
8. I'm confused with the whole Artemis being called protector of women. You'd think she would do something to earn that title, but all she did was ask to be with Persephone in the mortal realm? It makes zero sense.
9. I know changing your physical appearance is sometimes an external sign that a change is going on internally but... did RS really have Persephone pierce her ears as the ONLY sign of her taking her life into her hands? I don't mind it as a heavy-handed metaphor but girl has done the bare minimum in ten years (a punishment she was happy with until they actually sentenced her with it) and you're telling me it's #girlboss because she pierced her ears???
10. What's so annoying about the timeskip too is it's not just lazy, it makes the last FOUR YEARS be for nothing. HxP relationship is exactly the same and their characterization is stagnant, big deals like Leto and Kronos are just swept to the side, Eros and Psyche was dropped I guess? Minthe and Daphne is resolved off scrteen, and the now the actual myth is supposed to start after FOUR YEARS of nothing happening? It's just a waste of everyone's time, but Rachel gets rich off of it at least 🤨
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im so excited to go back to uni on saturday so here's a list of things im looking forward to doing:
calling my internet friends again and actually being able to actively maintain friendships with them <333
decorating my room!!!! i need to go to asda bc i literally dont have bedsheets or cutlery lmfao
that's another one actually i soooo miss going to the supermarket on my own it's such a vibe i just put my airpods in and enjoy myself
having my own room again pls pls ur nothing
going out!!!! ive missed you pres ive missed you my uni friends ive missed you drinking ive missed you dancing and singing
me and my friend have said we're going to start a mug collection which is basically every time we see an ugly mug in a charity shop or smthn we buy it and by the end of second year we want to just have a shelf of them lol <3
i just really cant wait for the homeliness of second year?? like already we have plans to all go out sunday night and last year in halls we were all effectively on the same street which was so fun but there's something just so cosy about us all travelling from our own little homes in the city to see each other??? like it feels more MINE than my halls accom last year bc that was just so clearly uni accommodation whereas second year people have actual houses. and like on sunday my flat is hosting the pres so we're all gonna have a big fuck off reunion and after some of my mates that i dont live with are gonna stay the night anyway and ive already made it clear to my friend who's living alone that i wont have her getting ubers alone after nights out so she'll probably stay and i just love being able to say 'my sofa is free if you ever need it' like i have the authority to do that now!!! i have my own place!!!! with three of my friends!!! and i have friends in other houses and the friend alone in a studio and another friend with her parents and we're all just gonna visit each other and we've already agreed that my flat will probably be the main base of operations which i just love bc it's like being the centre of this huge network of friends around the city and i just <333
i get a double bed this year!!!!!!! im so normal levels of excited about it
im gonna do a HUGE inbox clear out when i get to uni ive really missed being more active on this acc
taob writing!!! i want to really bite into ch41 and get her underway properly
i also want to respond to some ao3 comments bc ive not done that in TIME
just generally writing more without feeling guilty about it bc writing at home im always plagued by The Shame which is literally entirely my fault like my mum and sister couldn't be more enthusiastic about wanting to get involved it's literally me hoarding it like a problematic dragon
#there's loads more stuff but this is the main points!!!!!!#AGH IM BUZZING#like i know uni isnt all sunshine and rainbows like the highs are soooo much higher but the lows are so much lower#but my fucking god it's better than the slump my hometown puts me in#hella goes to uni#<- girl i have missed you
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