~*Follow along with the song here!*~

GF - Can’t Stand It

For @ho-ne-ye.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan was having a bad day. Well, a bad week. Scratch that, a bad month.

It was March, a beautiful time out in the Arctic. For several weeks the Stan twins hardly ever saw the sun or didn’t see it at all. Closer to the holidays they traveled down south to Northern Europe, exploring the United Kingdom and the Northern Islands in order to enjoy daylight, but now that Summer was approaching and Spring was on their side, the Stan O’ War II was moving up to sail above Canada, breaking melting ice and meeting new creatures.

Today they had stumbled across an island covered in woods. The twins had docked to enjoy stable land, but of course it didn’t take long for them to stumble into trouble when they explored the island. Something about trespassing, Stan may or may not have been magically transformed into a small and cute version of himself, but then turned back to normal by a knocked-over potion. It was all a blur, and it all ended with Stan and Ford being tied together hanging over a raging fire as the clan of seal-people with war paint danced around them and singing a weird song.

Enough was enough. With a knife slipped out of a boot and a few left and right hooks, Ford and Stan managed to get away, now being chased by the angry clan and flying arrows. Stan dove on top of Ford to shield his brother from an arrow and they both scurried to their feet and ran deeper into the woods, heading for the beach, but their path was blocked by a giant monster, a half-spider, half-scorpion kind of creature with eight legs, pinchers, a sharp tail, four red eyes, and an angry kiss as it’s hairs vibrated.

Ford shot at it with his ray gun and that only made it angry. It dove for the six-fingered scientist, but Stan shoved him out of the way and soon Stan was thrown back to a tree and made very little attempts to get back up.

“STANLEY!” Ford cried out and shot at the monster again, this time hitting it in the eye. Temporarily blinded and distracted, Ford was about to grab a nearby spear thrown by a villager, pierce the monster, and leave it to bleed to death as he ran to his brother and knelt in front of him. “Stanley! Stanley, can you hear me? Are you hurt?”

“M’fine, m’fine,” The old sailor mumbled as he blinked a few times. “Just lemme catch my breath…”

Ford noticed how he had a hand to his side. He gently prided it away and was horrified to find blood. The monster must have pierced Stan. In one swift motion the eldest by fifteen minutes scooped Stan up and began to carry him to the shore. “You’ll be okay. I’ll fix you up, I can fix this.”

His brother grunted in response, his hands loosely over his wound, but Stan was losing his strength. Ford then noticed a bead of blood dripping down the back of Stan’s neck; he must have also hit his head perfectly on the tree. Ford swallowed, making his Adam’s apple bobble, and he firmly instructed, “Stay with me, Stanley. Don’t go to sleep. You might have a concussion.”

“M’tired.” He muttered in his twin’s chest. They were close, so close to home. Ford’s boots crushed the sand beneath them.

“Stanley Pines, stay with me!” Ford shouted, ignoring the way his brown eyes stung.

“Why should I?”

Ford’s heart threatened to stop. Stan’s voice had been so quiet that he had nearly missed it, but the old scientist heard every word. The wounds didn’t look that bad, Stan would be fine, he was too tough to be taken down by some pathetic monster like that, but the fact that Stan was even considering…

“Wh-Why?!” Ford repeated, mortified by his brother’s delusional question. “Why?! Because I need you! Don’t you dare think about giving up on me, Stanley, don’t you dare! C-Come on, d-d-don’t you wanna see Dipper and Mabel again? Don’t you wanna see Soos marry that Melody girl?”

Stan’s breathing was shallow against his twin’s blue jacket. “You’d be better off…”

“NO!” Ford screamed as he saw the boat farther along the beach. He broke into a faster run. “No, we wouldn’t! I swear! Stay with me, we’re almost there!”

But Stan wasn’t answering. He was very quiet. And a bit limp in Ford’s hold.

“Stanley?! Stanley! Lee! Lee, don’t you dare give up! Don’t you dare leave me, please! I… I can’t do it!” He shut his eyes at the thought and let tears flow down his cheeks as he climbed up onto the Stan O’ War II. “I can’t lose you again. Please, don’t make me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t fair.

Stan should be perfectly fine, he should be happy. He got his brother back, he had a real family for the first time in forty years, he was living out his dream with his best friend. He wasn’t alien to feeling this cruddy about himself, but at least back then he had something to work towards, something to keep him going, and something to distract him from the voices in his head. But now his thoughts were more apparent now more than ever before and they wouldn’t go away.

The fact remained that everyone would be better off without Stan. He was a mistake, the screw-up, a criminal, a con-artist, a dirty sailor, a worthless heap of flesh. No one really wanted him around, and the people who did would soon get sick of him. Dipper and Mabel called them less and less (which to be fair they have been very busy with exams on the way). And even if it was Ford’s idea to go sailing, how long would it be before he changed his mind? Or had he really meant what he said? Or had he only said what he said because he felt guilty?

No. There was no changing the old man’s mind. Everyone would be better off without him.

He walked down the dock with his hands in the pocket of his brown trenchcoat, his boots clicking against the wood gently. It was bright and shiny and beautiful without it hurting his eyes or requiring sunglasses over his regular glasses. The sun glistened on the water and a soft breeze made him comfortable. The only odd thing was that there was only one boat.

A small boat, actually. It had a sail, like their dream boat as kids, with a cabin down in the bunkers. It was plain and clean and new, with a golden pole and rims on the windows. On it sat a young lady, about early-twenties, with short blonde hair. She was odd, wearing a white Hawaiian shirt with golden palm leaves, white shorts, and had a golden watch on her wrist as she filed her nails, reminding Stan of a secretary from high school. This girl was sitting on the boat with her legs crossed, sporting white sneakers, and hummed a familiar tune, though Stan couldn’t pinpoint it.

The girl glanced up at him, put her eyes back on her work, and called, “You coming?”

Stan shrugged, his hands still in his pockets. “Depends. Where you going, sweetie?”

“Well I’m hoping to grant a handsome sailor his wish, but it’s whatever.” The woman said as she held up her hand to look at her nails boringly.

Stan smiled cockily. “Oh yeah, how so?”

“You think everyone would be better off without you, right?” The woman stood and gestured to her boat. “Wanna see for yourself?”

Stan blinked. Okay this was weird. Was he on TV? He shook his head like a wet dog and scratched next to his red beanie. “Uh… ‘cuse me?”

“You heard me. Wanna see if you’re right?”

“How are you gonna show me if I’m right or not?” Stan asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

The woman sighed as she glanced at her watch. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time, so here’s how it’s gonna go. I’m gonna go sailing to a timeline in which you were never born. Ford never had a twin, Caryn and Filbrick only had two sons, et cetera and et cetera. Then we can talk about where we’ll go from there. But whether you’re coming or not, this boat is leaving in thirty seconds.”

Stan looked away from the woman, down at the sea crashing against the dock gently. This didn’t make any sense. This was like something out of a cheesy movie. He didn’t have to go with this girl and see a world without him in it, but it might answer some of his questions. He just wasn’t sure if he would get the answers he wanted. Oh well, it’s not like he had anything better to do.

“Ten seconds.”

“Alright, I’ll bite.” Stan shrugged and climbed up on board. “Set sail, Ms… Hey, what’s your name, anyways?”

“You can call me Honey.”

“Okay, Honey…”

“Oh my God, he called me honey…”

“Wait wut?”

“Time to go!” The woman grinned for the first time, a sly foxy smile with sparkling eyes and beautiful lips curled upward. She stood from her seat, pulled her sail loose, and it suddenly jetted across the sea so fast it threw Stan back and he had to catch himself from falling into the ocean, meanwhile the girl in all white stood perfectly calm.

“So, where we going?”

“I told you,” Honey said calmly. “We’re gonna go see what it would've been like if you had never been born.”

“Yeah, but where?”

“First stop, Gravity Falls.” The sea around them was fading into woods and trees and dirt, and soon the bot came to such a sudden stop that Stan was thrown to the other side and sat his head on a pinetree, growling as he stood up straight on the sailboat and rubbed his forehead.

Stan looked around and recognized the woods. Yup, this was definitely Gravity Falls, but… something was off. It was gray and cloudy overhead. And they were in front of a big open patch of woods Stan had never seen before.

“What is this place?” Stan asked as he hopped off the sailboat in the mud.

“Gravity Falls.”

“I know that! I mean… I’ve never been here before.”

“Yes you have.” The woman said as she got off her ride and stood beside the old sailor. “You lived here for thirty years in another timeline.”

Stan’s eyes widened. “No… Is this where the Mystery Shack’s supposed to be?”

“You got it.”

“But…” Stan was racking his brain, thinking. “What, did Ford never come here? Cuz he went to that West Coast Tech school he never came here?”

“Nope. Ford never moved to Gravity Falls, which means no Mystery Shack.”

“I always thought there’d be a big mansion here or something.” Stan shrugged and said, “Okay, so there’s no rundown tourist trap. Big deal.”

“Eh, so you think.” Honey started to walk into the woods, giving no invitation for Stan to follow, making it easier for the conman to do so. “Do you remember what this town was like before the Shack?”

Stan shrugged with his hands in the pocket of his trenchcoat. “Not much. Just a bunch of paranoid weirdos who needed a good laugh.”

They emerged from the woods and Stan gasped at the town. It was even more worn down and cheap than it had been when Stan came thirty years ago. Broken windows were boarded up, pavement was cracked, and either ketchup or blood was splattered here and there.

“Whoa hey, what happened?” Stan asked as they left the woods and walked through the town, shouts and coughs being heard in the distance. “I know this place is a dump, but not this much of a dump.”

“Stan, do you really think your business was the only one to succeed due to the tourists coming in?” The woman in white asked. “What about the motels? Diners like Greasy’s? Stores and gas stations? All those out-of-state tourists didn’t just give money to the Shack. You’d be surprised how much one tourist trap helps the economy of one struggling town.”

“Okay, sure, but there’s no way the Shack helped out the town this much.” Stan argued, gesturing around them lazily.

“No, you’re right. Really, the town didn’t hit hard times until about five years ago.”

“Why…”

Screeching tires interrupted the old man. He and Honey watched as a very nice, rich-looking pick-up truck spun around the corner and came to a sudden stop in front of a grocery store. Stan’s jaw dropped to the pavement as he watched someone he barely recognized get out of the passenger’s seat.

Soos had a black baseball cap on backwards, wearing a cold, spiky, black-leather jacket, torn jeans, and a gothic, graphic t-shirt. His eyes were so cold and menacing, he seemed a bit taller due to holding himself up with so much pride, and when he snapped his fingers and pointed to the grocery store, five guys emerged from the truck and raided it like it was the end of the world.

“S-Soos?!” Stan gasped. “Soos, what are you doing?!” But he was ignored.

“No one can see or hear us, Stanley.” Honey said as they watched Soos’ gang drag a cashier out by her long hair and began to pumble her just because they could. Soos did nothing to stop it, even smiled a little as the girl screamed for help.

“I don't get it… Soos is a good kid! He’d never hurt a fly! Why in Moses’ name is he…” Stan couldn’t finish the sentence. He was frighteningly reminded of the Colombian gang he was once under.

“Oh, c'mon sweetie, connect the dots. Who do you think taught Soos to be a good kid?”

“His abuelita did.”

The woman chuckled and shook her head. “She tried, but as he got older it really began to hurt that his dad didn’t wanna be around him. And cuz you weren’t there to tell him otherwise… let’s just say high school never happened for him.”

“What?!”

“He dropped out of school in the eighth grade and joined a small gang outside of town. Eventually he made his way up the ranks and now his little gang terrorized the bottom half of Oregon.”

“B-But why?! All cuz I wasn’t there?” Stan asked, shaking his head. “There’s no way…”

“Stanley, who do you think taught him that he was worth something? Who taught him how to stand up for himself and give bullies left hooks? Who had him put all of his energy into hard work?”

Stan stared at his pretty tour guide. There was no way Stan did all that, no way. Sure, he liked the kid a lot, but he never actually thought he impacted Soos’ life this much. Stan looked back at this horrible version of Soos as his gang loaded the car with food and cash and they sped off, leaving the woman to bleed on the sidewalk and wipe the blood from her lips.

“C’mon,” Honey said and gestured onward. “We’ve got more people to see.”

“Okay so,” Stan followed her and racked his brain. Surely somebody benefited from him not being alive. “What about Wendy? Is she still around?”

“Nope. Without you to give her a job here in town, she had to move upstate to her cousin’s lodge, remember? She had to leave all of her friends behind and she was miserable. Still is, actually. Very quiet gal. Doesn’t say or do much.”

“Wendy? Quiet? I don’t believe you.”

The woman opened a door to a shop, but instead of the inside of the building they saw a black-haired Wendy sitting on her bed in her new room, criss-crossed, holding her pillow as she listened to depressing heavy metal.

Stan winced. “Yikes. She turned into a real Robbie.”

“That kid joined Soos’ gang, BTW.” The woman said as she closed the door.

Stan was having a hard time buying the idea that nobody actually got some good out of him not being around. "Wh-What about that lil' troll? Gideon?"

Honey snorted and led the way through town. As they walked, Stan was having a hard time buying this scenario. There was no way he made this much of a difference. Okay, sure, if he not being alive meant Ford never moved to Gravity Falls, and that meant Gravity Falls changed a bit, Stan could understand that, but there was no way this town turned for the worst all because Stan wasn’t there. There was no way the screw-up actually made things better. Right?

“Here we are.” The woman said to snap Stan out of his thoughts.

The car dealership looked mostly the same. A little more run-down, sure, and there was no Tent of Telepathy in sight, but Bud still wore that stupid straw hat with a baby-blue Hawaiian shirt and tan pants, but he didn’t look quite right, either. Heavy bags were under his eyes, looking a bit more like his wife, and the little bit of hair he had was graying a bit too early. He waved his customer goodbye with a smile, but the second they were gone he sighed tiredly and was frightened by a window being shattered by a rock.

“DADDY! GET OVER HERE!”

“Oh, boy.” Bud steadied himself and went back to the house.

“Hey, how come the little jerk’s business isn’t booming?” Stan asked, more interested as to why his biggest competitor wasn’t flourishing in a town that needed someone to believe in. “He’d do great here! He could’ve used his little camera to tell people when S-... when the gang was gonna strike, or…”

“Stanley, sweetie, how do you think Gideon started that tent?”

“I dunno, he decided to use his cuteness to get some cash?”

“Not quite. For a few years he was just a bratty kid, but then he found a journal in his playground full of mystical objects, including a magic bow-low tie. It was that journal that made him think of telepathy. Even if he was fake, it was Journal 2 that inspired him.”

“Okay, okay,” Stan held his chin. “So with no me there’s no Ford in Gravity Falls which means no journals which means no Tent of Telepathy. Fine, but the twerp’s gotta be a better person without that spooky book making him think he’s all powerful.”

The woman in white laughed and pointed to the house. “You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? See for yourself.”

Stan walked up to the broken window and was mortified at the state of the house. Stains everywhere, chipped and torn furniture, cracked walls, torn carpet, and in the midst of it all was a ten-year-old lying on his stomach on the couch, banging his fists and kicking like a toddler as he screamed horribly. Stan winced, but then was completely thrown off to find Gideon’s hair not white and up Dolly Parton-style, but orange and cut short.

“I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT!” Gideon screamed as if he was being murdered.

His poor mother was against the wall, holding her heart and breathing heavy; Stan noticed the signs of an anxiety attack.

Bud slowly approached his son and tried to calm him down. “Now, sugar pie, please…” But the human beaver was kicked in the jaw, leaving a bruise and making him bite his lip so hard he bled. Bud held his mouth as Gideon continued to scream.

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU NEVER GIMME ANYTHANG I WANT! WHY YA HAVE TO BE SO STUPID?!”

“Yikes, how did not being possessed by a freaky journal make him worse?” Stan asked Honey as they walked away from the house. “I don’t get it.”

“Sure, Gideon wasn’t the best kid before the journal, but at least with the journal he had something to work towards, something to put all of his energy into, and he also had you.”

“M-Me?”

“Don’t you remember the first time you met him?”

“Yeah, he took my parking spot with that stupid van.”

“Actually, you met once before.” Honey chuckled as they walked back into the woods. “You were both at the grocery store when he was four. He was with his mom, bouncing in the buggy and demanding for candy. She gave in just to keep him quiet and tuned to pick some milk. You were across the aisle, picking orange juice, when Gideon dropped his chocolate bar while trying to open it. You noticed the candy and the boy making grabby hands at you and the candy, but you grinned, said ‘no’ firmly, picked up the chocolate…”

“... and ate it right in front of him!” Stan laughed. “I had forgotten… I didn’t know that was Gideon! I thought that was just some spoiled brat.”

“Well, it was. You were the first and only person who ever told that boy ‘no’, the only person who really challenged him and pushed him. Thanks to you, he channeled his anger and energy into trying to take you and the Shack down. But without you around to push him, he had no way to get his energy out, except his parents.”

Stan looked down at the dirt and they stopped walking for a second. “This… This doesn’t make any sense.”

“How so?”

“I’m just a screw-up!” Stan argued as he looked back up at the woman. “I’m the twin no one wanted! I’m just some loser of a conman! It doesn’t make sense that a guy like that could… it… there’s gotta be somebody to benefitted from me not existing! What about Lazy Susan? With no Mystery Shack that means no lazy eye, right?”

“Actually, Soos’ gang raided the diner and it ended badly when Susan stood up to them.” Honey winced. “She ended up not only losing her job, but her eye, too.”

Stan swore under his breath. “Fine… What about that McGucket dude? His life’s gotta be better than living at the dump with his mind all jacked up.”

The woman shrugged and led the way deeper into the woods. “Barely. C’mon, we’re going to Tennessee.”

Stan followed the mysterious tour guide back to the sailboat and this time properly braced himself for the sudden speed. Very suddenly they were racing along the sea, colors swirling by them, until they stopped very suddenly on a river. Stan’s jaw dropped to see a huge, beautiful mansion up on the hill by the river. The woman parked the sailboat by the dock and they started to walk up to the rich house, passing a weeping willow with a stone bench with a big crack in the middle.

“This is McGucket’s place?” Stan clarified.

“You got it, genius.” Honey gestured to the six horse stables, the lush garden, all of the nice cars and wagons, and at just how huge and nice and rich the mansion was. “Fiddleford still went to Backupsmore and met his wife, Emma May, and with no Ford to ask for help on a portal, Fiddleford became the inventor of not only person computers, or what’s commonly called laptops, he became the founder of the largest tech company in the country, Berri.”

The woman reached into her pocket and pulled out one of those smartphones the kids had, except the back had a little strawberry with a bite in it. “They went on to invent the first cell phone, BerriWatch, and right now they’re testing a self-driving car. Fiddleford found himself with more money than he knew what to do with and after he built his family their dream home, which by the way is the richest house in Tennessee, he simply expanded his company and made historical international deals. He’s also made huge donations to small run-down towns, like the one he grew up in, to create jobs and try to help out their economies.”

“Cool, okay, see.” Stan said with a smile, impressed by this hillbilly’s success. “One person got a good deal from me not being around.”

Honey rocked her hand side to side and led the way around the mansion, walking alongside the clear open space, passing the weeping willow and bench to move around the hill. “Just cuz he was successful doesn’t mean he was better off. Don’t forget, Fiddleford was never the greatest at handling his stress well. He invented that Memory Gun because Ford accidentally inspired him to, saying scientists have a way of creating solutions to their problems. So with no way to forget his stress and anxiety, Fiddleford drank to forget how worried he was about losing his company if he made a bad deal or if his newest invention or work or if he was putting out a good public face.”

“No.” Stan shook his head. “That goody two-shoes? No way.”

“Hey, he grew up around moonshine, he just couldn’t get his hands on it when he was living at the dump.” The woman shrugged and they came upon a stone pathway and walked down it to a small flower garden that formed a circle. “Anyways, Fiddleford was never violent, thank goodness, but he was drunk more than he was sober. He should be happy, with a wife and son and booming business to boot, but he wasn’t. He fell into depression and drank until he ended up here.”

Stan looked ahead and felt the wind get knocked out of him. There was a flat tombstone in the middle of the circle of flowers. He knew what was on there, but he still slowly approached to read what the stone said. “Fiddleford H. McGucket. 1956-2011. The angels now sing a whisky lullaby.”

Stan backed away, backing up farther than the woman was, shaking his head and even punching his forehead as he tried to think. “This… This doesn’t make any sense! Their lives were supposed to get better without me, not worse!”

“Stanley…”

“The kids!” Stan gasped and looked up at Honey. “Where are the kids?!”

The woman looked sober and she gestured back to the sailboat to go to their next stop. “Back in California.”

Stan was anxious the whole trip, though it only took a minute to get where they were going, but soon they were on the side of the road in front of a middle school. Stan watched on the boat as the bell rang and kids started pouring out. He kept his eyes peeled for his kids and he grinned at the sight of two brown-haired twins.

Dipper wore a long-sleeved blue flannel over his orange t-shirt to go with his gray pants. He still had bags under his eyes and he still had that lucky star hat to hide his birthmark, slouching a little with his backpack, but he was still here, a brilliant thirteen-year-old. Stan was a bit worried to see him looking so down and upset, but both men soon smiled as a young girl skipped out of the school.

Mabel had her long hair up with a scrunchie today and kept back with a headband, still wearing her sweaters, today wearing leggings with her skirt, and she grinned at her twin and punched his shoulder before hugging him. “Hey bro bro! Wanna go to the arcade today? I hear they got some new prizes!”

“Sure, sounds fun.”

“There, you see.” Stan sighed with relief as he watched the kids walk down the sidewalk, passing the boat. “They’re fine, they’re happy. They still got each other.”

Just then, some big buy came around the corner and bumped elbows with Dipper, making Stan’s nephew stop, and the bully shoved him onto the concrete.

“Dipper!” Mabel cried out and looked ready to punch the bully, but a guy came up behind her and grabbed her around the arms, pinning her. Another guy joined the bully and they cracked their knuckles as they gazed down at their prey.

“If it isn’t the best punching bag in town.” The bully sneered. “Feel like fighting back today, Dipstick. It’s no fun having a sparring partner that doesn’t fight back.”

Dipper growled and made a flimsy attempt to stand and punch his opponent, but the bully grabbed his wrist and punched him in the gut and kicked him down, leaving poor Dipper to huddle on the sidewalk while the two bullies hammered on him and Mabel fought to be free and help but was powerless against her capture.

“HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HE-” And Mabel’s mouth was covered, but she still wiggled and screamed.

Stan couldn’t watch anymore. He had purposely waited to give the kids a chance to fight back, but sometimes you just need a little help. “I’M COMING!”

“Stanley!”

Stan jumped off the boat and ran to the kids to pull the bully off his niece and scoop her into his arms, but his arms went right through them. He frantically tried to shove the bullies off his nephew, but again his body went right through them, like he was a ghost.

The woman stood by his side and said calmly, “I told you, no one can see or hear or feel us.”

“I can’t just stand by and do nothing!” Stan yelled at her face.

“Why not? Everyone else has. No one had ever taught them how to fight back when the world fights them, except…”

“Me.” Stan finished for her with a sigh. He made himself watch as the bullies continued to beat Dipper up, finally stopping after the ring leader kicked him in the jaw, and Mabel was let go as they ran off to celebrate their victory.

Mabel crawled to her twin’s side and checked over his injuries as he carefully sat on his knees. “Dipper! Dipper, are you okay? What hurts? Show me what hurts.”

“Ow, ow, ow,” He whined as Mabel touched his swollen eyes and busted lips. Dipper spat out a tooth and held his chest. “I think… I think they cracked a rib.”

“Let’s go home.” Mabel carried his backpack for him and had him lean on her as they wimped onward. “Mom can look at it and take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t get it.” Stan said as he watched his kids walk away. “They’re good kids! Isn’t anyone gonna stand up for them?! What about their parents?! What about their friends?!”

“They don’t have any friends.” Honey said sadly as they watched the twins. “The only friends they had ever made were in Gravity Falls, which they had never visited cuz there was no family there. And Shermie taught your nephew to keep your head down to stay out of trouble, which he’s trying to teach his kids. Unfortunately, it isn’t working out for them, and what used to be bad nicknames and gum in their hair has escalated to fights and notes to kill themselves.”

Stan bit his lip. Not those kids. Not his kids. He wanted to believe things would get better for them, but if no one taught them that they were worth something, that they could stand up for themselves, he didn't have much hope and he didn’t dare ask what their future looked like. But something didn’t sit right…

“Shermie,” He muttered without looking at the woman, still looking ahead. “Y-You said he taught his kid to keep his head down.”

“I did.”

“Why would he do that?” Stan asked. “I mean, sure he’s always been a lame square, but that’s really bad advice, even for him. He taught me and… He taught Ford to stand up for himself. Crampelter was terrified for weeks when Shermie found out he had been breaking Ford’s fingers.”

“He and Ford didn’t see much of each other.” Honey answered quietly.

Something clicked in Stan’s head. While all of this was interesting or whatever, there was only one person that Stan truly believed was better off without him. His better half, the genius, the loved son, the author of the journals, the criminal of the multiverse. His brother. Stan turned to her and asked quietly, “Where’s Ford?”

For the first time, the woman looked scared. She looked away and said, “You don’t wanna know.”

“Yes I do!” Stan bellowed and grabbed the woman by the shoulders. “Please! Where’s my brother?!” This gal had been scaringly quiet about the one person Stan cared the most about.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Stanley, let’s just get back on the boat…”

“Only if you take me to see my brother! Where. Is. Stanford?!” Stan demanded darkly, his eyes pleading the woman to make his request.

The woman sighed and Stan let her go.

They slowly got on the boat and it zipped to the docks of Glass Shard. Stan blinked a few times at being back to where he grew up for the first time in forty years. Dark clouds covered the sky. Not much had changed throughout the years, but why on Earth was Ford still here? They hopped off and planted their feet on the sand, and Honey led the way as she spoke.

“Stanford was still born with six fingers on each hand. Your mother tried to assure him that it only made him special, but Filbrick did a good job of making it clear that that wasn’t the case, and things only got worse when he went to school. You weren’t there to beat up bullies, you weren’t there to tell him that he was special, you weren’t there to help him dream of a future where they would sail away and he’d be free.”

“Yeah but Ford was always a little genius.” Stan interrupted as they left the sand for dirt, the beach slowly turning into a small patch of woods. “He’d win a handful of science fairs and spelling bees and then at least Pa was okay with acknowledging that they were related.”

“But Stanford didn’t win a handful of science fairs and spelling bees.” Honey corrected sadly. “Stanley, you were the only person in his childhood that made him think that he was actually worth something. You were the only one who made him shoot for the stars and believe that he was worth keeping around. Without you to give him confidence, Stanford never expressed his intelligence and therefore never allowed it to grow at all. He did okay in school, but he wasn’t the top student. He never participated in science fairs of sleeping bees or math competitions because he didn’t have enough confidence to put himself out there. Sure he was smart, but teachers weren't going bananas over him because no one, not even himself, knew his potential.”

It started to rain, but of course the two didn’t feel it or were affected by it. “So… he didn’t go to West Coast Tech?” Stan dared to ask as they walked deeper down the dirt path, oblivious to where they were as he was thinking this through.

“No.”

“But… I thought you said he did.”

“No, I said he never moved to Gravity Falls. He never felt home.”

“So… what happened to him? What did Ford end up doing with his life?”

Honey bit his lip and refused to meet Stan’s eye. They walked on and Stan finally realized where they were. He felt ready to throw up. He waited for his guide to speak.

“Much like Dipper and Mabel, things only got worse as he got older. He got to a point where Stanford was stealing Filbrick’s boos and he even started to hurt himself. It wasn’t enough. It was all too much for him. He… He…”

“No.” Stan’s voice cracked and he was terrified when the woman stopped and motioned to a tombstone that laid among the others in this graveyard. “No! You’re lying! He wouldn’t! He didn’t!” He yelled.

“I’m sorry, Stanley.”

Stan finally made himself read the rock. He fell to his knees at the words that shined through the rain. “Stanford Filbrick Pines. 1956-1970.”

“NO!” Stan screamed and punched the ground beneath him as he gritted his teeth and shut his eyes. “NO! HE WOULDN’T! HE DIDN’T!”

“Ma found him dangling from the ceiling. She was never the same after losing her baby.” Honey croaked. “He was only fourteen.”

“NO!” Stan shook his head as he ignored how wet his cheeks and eyes were now. “NO! He… He… He never needed me. He never wanted me around.”

“Yes he did.”

“You’re lying.”

“Stanley, listen.” The woman said firmly behind him. “You said it yourself that family needs each other. I know it’s hard to believe that you’re actually worth something when there’s a dozen voices in your head telling you otherwise, but just like how you need them, your family needs you. Your brother needs you.”

Stan listed his fists up from the dirt, his eyes on the tombstone without seeing. “I… I just thought he’d be… they’d be better off I hadn’t been around.”

“No one knows for sure how they change things or how much they really impact others. But you do. And even if you forget all of this, you know your family loves you enough to tell you that they need you.”

Stan snorted. “Yeah, but what’s keeping them from saying that outta pity?”

“You can’t let yourself think like that, Stanley, you just can’t.” Honey said firmly. “Your family loves you. Stanford loves you. He needs you, and if you don’t believe me, just take a look at what he’s like when you’re gone.”

“Wait what?”

Honey got on her knees beside him and showed him her golden watch. The face changed to a scene, like a tiny TV, and Stan started to find Ford back at the Stan O’ War II, kneeling beside his injured twin who laid more dead than alive on the couch. With tears streaming down his face Ford was wrapping a bandage around Stan’s head and feeling his heartbeat and checking that the bandages around his torso were well and secure.

“Stanley, Stanley please,” Ford begged as he took Stan’s hand and squeezed it. “Please don’t leave me. I need you, the kids need you. Please.”

“Whoa hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Stan said, but then his eyes grew wide and he looked up at Honey. “Am I?”

“I dunno.” She asked as she lowered her arm and smiled at him. “Do you wanna go?”

“Go where?”

Honey chuckled. “On.”

Stan blinked at her. “No. No, I don’t. If… If that knucklehead really wants me around, then I’ll stay.”

Honey blinked her eyes dry and stood up. “That’s what I like to hear. I’ll get you home.”

Stan stood up and followed her back to the boat. “By the way, honey, why’d you do all this for me? What, wanted to earn your wings?”

“No, this was pure self-indulgent.”

“Wait wut?”

~~~~~~~~~~

His head hurt. His side ached a little, but his head really hurt. That didn’t matter. He had no idea why, but he had to see his brother.

Stan forced his eyes open and found his vision blurry thanks to his glasses being folded on the end table. He smiled when he saw that Ford had fallen asleep by his side, kneeling beside the couch, holding his hand, and resting his head face-first into his own folded arms. Outside it was dark, which could mean it was seven in the morning of seven at night, given the fact they were up in the Arctic.

The younger, injured twin, snorted at his brother, which made the aged scientist sit up too quickly for it to be wise, wide awake, with his hair in a gray floof and his red eyes wide and alert.

“Stanley! Thank Moses!” He cried out and stood up to better look over him. “How do you feel? Any pain? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Calm down, Sixer,” Stan chuckled weakly as he slowly tried to sit up, sensitive to the wound on his side. “My head hurts, but I’ll be fine with some painkillers, and you’re holding up two fingers like some dumb hippy.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Ford hugged him around his shoulders tightly as his whole body trembled. “I know you showed no signs of a concussion and your wound is not nearly as bad as it could have been, but i didn’t know for sure if you would pull through or what I would do without you and…”

“Geez, relax, it’s okay, Stanford.” Stan shushed as he hugged him and rubbed his back. “M’fine, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good.” Ford said firmly and sat back, a hand still on his shoulder. “Don’t you ever think for a second that I don’t want you here with me, Stanley. I need you.”

“Yikes, where’s all this sappiness coming from, eh?”

Ford blinked at his twin and said slowly, “Y-You said you thought I’d be better off without you…”

Stan waved that away. “Ah, you say stupid stuff when you hit your brain too hard. I swear, Sixer, you’re stuck with me, as long as you’ll have me, anyways. Somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t kill yourself out here.”

Ford chuckled tiredly and shrugged. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m always right. Now do we have any stew left? I’m starving.”

Humans are Space Orcs, “A Little Light.”

Guys, I am releasing a new alien species! I am super excited about this, and I will explain at the end because there is an awesome story behind this. I hope you like it, it was a strange style to write in, and I ended up confusing myself on more than one occasion.

The genesis of these guys is actually super cool, or I thought so.

The world around him was white, a white blinding haze that seared his eyes and burrowed into his brain so profoundly it made his ears ring, not a quiet ringing, but a loud almost ear splitting ringing that burrowed into his head and drilled through the small bones in his middle ear. Aside from the ringing there was only silence accept for his own ragged breathing gasping that, made the space around him humid despite his visor’s inability to fog.

He stumbled over his own feet, for it had to be his feet since the ground about his was completely flat, A dessert of salt stretching for miles in all directions, pure white against the roaring power of the blue-white star, a star so bright even the sky had been bleached white. He tried to open his eyes, tried to find where he was going but was immediately blinded. He tried to scramble for the visor on his helmet but found there to be none there, snapped off.

He stumbled again, this time falling to his knees on the vast white nothingness.

He could feel the crunch through his gloves and boots, rattling up through his knees, but it was as if he stared down at his own body white against paper, in a ceaseless void filled with not but light. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried for the comm again.

“Harben- harbinger, this is…. This is Commander Vir… I, my ship…. Was malfunctioned. I Have fallen and…. I can’t eyes… help, send please….. Think I may have been…. Damaged.” More light, blinding him driving into his skull like screws being driven in with a power tool. He lifted his hands to his ears as the light grew stronger bringing the ringing to a crescendo.

He fell backwards barely feeling his body hit the ground, knowing that something had happened only for the slight vibration through his body, like the slamming of a door seen only in the ripples on a glass of water. Light bombarded him from above the ringing grew louder. His hands fell to his sides as he fell, mercifully into blackness. 

***

There was a disturbance, they had sensed it some time ago, a distant disturbance in the distant sky. They did not see it, but felt it. Waves of sight, particles of distortion washing over them. They do not sense the light that beats down from above, only the infrared radiation of their distant star which sustains them. Besides that, the landscape is flat blackess warmed occasionally in spots of unfathomable color by the heat of their star. They can sense it like they sense particles of radio light given off by their brethren. Light is their survival, light is their spawn and their life. They sense everything, and with their light comes a great euphoria. They love light.

They float now, great billowing sails propelling them in silent, slow-motion arcs over the landscape. Below them their great flexible appendages wave and quiver, two long in the front, and a hundred shorter trailing in the back. They float, though it seems as if they swim, cutting through the light the way a sting-ray cuts through the water. They are silent, ethereal, and somewhat strange. They do not move quickly for they see no need simply floating through the white, surrounded by light and the rolling waves of radio chatter from their companions.

With the radio waves gone.

They are silent, though their world is not.

It startles them, when it appears on the horizon, a spot of light under the glorious rays of their star. It does not belong there, for, even though the ground is bright, this thing is brighter. They approach on trailing ribbons of their own limbs gracefully floating, floating, floating. They make it eventually, towards the bright spot.

It sheds light and heat, though it is covered by darkness.

The shape is not something they have seen before, it is alien and unknowable. Behind it, it leaves traces of it’s path, back in the direction of the disturbance. It does not fit on this landscape, it does not belong here. It tracks pieces of itself behind it.

It is living.

That much they know for sure.

They know it is not from here.

With their sense of light they look on. The creature loses light in great swaths, it is bright, not as bright as their star, but very bright, though it’s brightness is fading.

It is a sin to let anything that is bright die.

***

He awoke when he felt himself moving, felt the rattling in his feet as they jostled and crunched over salt scraping and covering the sound of the ringing in his ears. He was seeing double, the world around him was  still so bright. It thunders down on him in great rays of pain. He tried to move, but he found that he couldn’t. His head spun and rotated, or at least it seemed that way. He tried to open his eyes, but the light hurt. It cut into his soul until he could no longer feel but for the pain. His eyes closed, but the searing light still cut through burning him replacing the whiteness with the cherry red of his own blood.

A shadow fell over him. He could sense it with the passing of pain and opened his eyes. He could not comprehend what he was seeing, a towering shadow, a monolith slowly swaying back and forth, back and forth bringing the sun into view, and then cutting it off a moment later. Ribbons, or tedrals wave about him, there are thousands of them. He can’t make them into shapes, can't determine what they are or what they mean.

Has he died?

***

What is it?

They aren’t entirely sure.

What does it want?

Probably to live, but then again it was perishing, so maybe it didn’t.

Maybe they should leave it back out in the void, in the whiteness, on the planes of salt. 

That would be foolhardy though not to learn about something new. They knew everything there was to know here. Then again this thing was a thing they did not know, so it was only right that they should know. If they knew everything else.

Did they actually know everything?

It seemed so. They knew of the salt, and atmosphere. They knew of the chemical structures, and the atomic particles. They knew of the particles that acted as waves, they knew of their beloved light, and it’s tendency to behave similarly. They knew of gravity and quantum law and that they were on a sphere that simply orbited a large sphere of fire. They knew their light would be gone some day, and they knew when that day would be.

They were not worried.

They new a great many things, and this was a thing to know.

It was clear they needed to know more.

***

It Is a trick to learn about something that cannot be known, a trick to determine that which has no base of reference. The do not know this thing, this thing that lays before them warm and flickering with its pulsing light. It is a good light, warm and steeped in life. However, it is symmetrical two limbs for either side and a trunk in the middle, that is a start.

It does not float, that much is clear, behind it it left tracks in the salt, the shapes are oval in nature or somewhere between an oval and another shape, it matches the bottom of two of the appendages at the base. So it moves, somehow, on two appendages without floating. Touching it, for their tendrils are very sensitive to touch, they feel at its shell, or it has to be a shell because the shell does not give off its light. The light is from the inside, from behind a clear layer.

The shell has a structure, it is very uniform, nothing that comes from nature. They can make things like this, though they do not bother to do so, for what does that have to do with light? So this creature wears a fake shell, that seems reasonable. Looking through the clear layer, at it’s true shape, the creature is very….

Squishy? 

Yes that appears to be the correct term, though they cannot be sure. Perhaps it is not squishy and they are just misleading themselves based on appearances. But if it is not a shell for their squishiness, than what is the shell for? They can see it’s temperature, the warmth of the light can tell them that, and it seems as if it would be comfortable. The surrounding are only a little cooler than its body.

So if that is not the case, then what is it.

They look closer, for that is their desire, and the light helps them to see. They must use other types of light, they must use these lights to see inside, and inside they find the shell does other things too. The shell holds gas, a gas that surrounds the creature on the inside, for the creature on the inside is smaller than the shell on the outside.

They can test this gas, and that is where they find it.

It is a very strange mixture of gases, mostly nitrogen, but some oxygen and carbon. That may be a problem, for their planet is very high in oxygen.

Another group returns, the group that continued onwards to find the disturbance. They did not get close as they sensed a great heat from the thing that had fallen from the sky. 

Fire.

Fire was not good when your planet had much oxygen, and you floated with hydrogen on your insides.

It seemed as if the two things were connected.

Perhaps the thing came from the fire, or from the thing previous to the time when it was on fire? 

But that was assuming time was linear.

The thing’s light is fading, that is a bad sign.

It may be required for them to remove the shell. 

They need to figure out how to do it though, the creature has appendages on the top that it does not use for walking, and at the end of those appendages, it has tendrils like theirs only shorter and more rigid. It is small, so they can assume the thing uses those to do its tasks. 

They are right, they find the answer, for if you twist at some parts and pull, the thing comes off.

***

He woke up to the sound of frantic beeping. 

That was not a good sign, that was his atmospheric indicator determining that he had a suit breach. Despite the ringing in his ears, he knew enough to know that. He didn’t know where the light was still too bright and his body was still in pain. But then, he felt it…. Something cold against the skin of his hands.

He knew nothing should be cold since the inside of his gloves were very warm.

He tried to open his eyes, finding that, strange, there was shade, and though it was bright, he could finally see. Thinking was harder though considering the pain his was still in, the throbbing of his head the the diplopia that mirrored every image over itself.

He felt sick.

The suit continued to beep.

He heard the sound next, and knew what was coming. The soft scraping and snick just beside his neck. 

Air rushed over his face, the beeping grew louder. 

And then the world coalesced around him. To his sides it was bright, to bright to look, but above him it was less so, he could stare upwards now, and he wasn’t immediately dead, though his helmet was gone. 

Something had taken off his helmet.

Why had it taken him this long to realize it?

He turned his head trying to find the source of his imminent death, and stops 

This time, it does not take him long to register surprise.

***

They were right, and wrong, the creature was squishy, though no completely, and now it was moving responding to their touch.

It hadn’t died yet, so that was good, though it did not get up and move like it was supposed to.

They reachout touching at it, at it’s strange appendages at the end of it’s upper limbs, at the soft fibers atop it’s head, and the strange rubbery surface about the top which gave off a great amount of light.

It is silent as far as they can tell though it had many strange openings in its body that flexed and moved. It’s light is still fading. They use their light again to look and found something very strange, a symmetrical pattern of scaffolding that held up the squishy parts of the creature. This scaffold is generally open except for the one about the head which is closed. There is lots of heat there, and their light could see inwards, a building pressure.

That did ot seem normal for it is not symmetrical like it should be.

They could fix that.

They know how. Though, the creature has gone limp under their appendages, they still work. It is their duty to save all sources of light. It didn’t take them long to release the pressure, and once that is done the light grows back up pulsing more evenly. Their radio chatter is one of incandescent excitement. Merrily, they float about in circles basking in the light from outside pleased that this little glimmer of light is still here.

***

He woke up without a ringing in his ears this time, and the light from outside wasn’t so horrible on his eyes, though he still attempted to shade his vision. It was a struggle though, trying to remember where his limbs were and what they were doing. He was still having trouble comprehending his place in space and where all his appendages were.

Something caressed the side of his face.

He tilted his head down flinching back and the strange blue-tipped thendral pulled back away from him. At first he thought it was some sort of snake, and nearly panicked, but that didn’t seem right, so he followed the body of the tendral bak and upwards.

Still groggy, that didn’t stop his mouth from falling open in stunned amazement.

Stunned amazement as the alien creature floated over him.

***

The creature notices them now, they cannot tell how since it does not respond to their light, it is completely silent. They reach out with their tendrils feeling the creature, the fibers on its head, the soft outer covering. It pulls away from them at first hunkering bac against the ground, but as they continue, it seems to grow curious responding to their touch with touch of its own.

Its five protrusion appendages reach out trailing gently down their skin. 

They tremble with delight.

It continues to reach towards them with it’s strange appendage, and one of their number reaches out wrapping a tendril around the appendage searching and feeling at the structure underneath. The creature is gentle and does not pull away. THey like this creature, it makes light and though they cannot fathom or understand it, there is something about the way it touches them.

It seems curious, just like them.

Just like the did before, it wraps its own protrusions around their tendrils. It is warm giving off heat with it’s light. This close, it’s heat is like the face of the sun cold spots giving it distinct character as it plays with them, though something is wrong. It’s light isn’t working again…. Had they done something wrong.”

***

He was growing very dizzy, and the muscles in his face would not stop twitching. He gently unwinded a tentacle from his wrist careful not to spook the creature that floated over him. It was curious like you would expect an octopus to be, and it did remind him of one like some weird sort of elephant squid. It was large, maybe six feet in length from the bottom of it’s two long tentacles to the top of it’s ‘head’.

On either side of its body, there were two large flaps, which it slowly used to maneuver flopping back and forth as it floated. IT floated primarily with the help of some sort of sack on the back of its body, not dissimilar to the Vrul. It had four eyes in a diamond pattern towards the top of its head, though as far as he could tell it did not hear seeing as it had not reacted to his voice. 

Did he sense a sudden agitation in their numbers as they move in again beginning to prod at him with their tendrils once more.

One brushes itself down his face again, feeling at his head where, he had received somewhat of a knock during the crash. The dizziness was getting worse, as was the facial twitch.

He knew these signs, and desperately reached for the components of his suit, lying neatly beside him. The creatures pulled away floating about him in a wide circle.

He pulled a glove on and snapped it into place.

He turned to reach for the other finding one of the creatures had wrapped a tentacle around his other glove and was slowly reaching out towards him.

He took the offering gently and snapped the glove on.

He turned for his helmet, but had been beaten to it. With delicate movements slowed as if they moved through water, two of the creatures maneuvered the helmet over his head lowering it down and twisting it until it snapped in place.

Oxygen levels high, toxicity imminent, lowering oxygen output.

He took a deep breath. A tendril patted the outside of his helmet like an old granny pats the cheek of her grandchild.

He couldn't help but smile stroking his hand along the length of the tendril like he was petting a dog. 

***

The light has returned, they are pleased, though they worry as another disturbance breaks the atmosphere. It is bright, bright like a second star, but it is fire, and fire is dangerous, they pull back watching as the fire descends from the sky. They do not move though, the creature does not move, but they cannot be sure it sees the disturbance at all. Things died down, and then a group of small lights appear over the wasteland.

They move without floating leaving trails of light behind them.

They pull back as the things pull closer slowly moving towards them. It is as if they are communicating with each other though there can be no possible way for them to do so seeing as they do not make noise and the light they commit is a steady pulse. They emit light like the first and slowly approach in a group.

The creature is not alone.

There are more of them, and they descend from the sky to walk on the ground.

As they observe, the first creature reaches out to them like it had done before. They are hesitant, but they follow suit wrapping tendrils around the proffered appendage. It returns their touch with touch of it’s own, and the group of its friends follow.

Another holds out an appendage like the first, and though they are cautious, they give it over, and the creature is just as gentle and curious.

They like to think that the creatures are thanking them for helping one of their own, and sadly they have to watch the creature go, wobbling back across the salt to return to the sky from where it came.

They were not likely to understand the silent creature.

But they did appreciate its curiosity.

The little light that had come to visit them, before returning to the sky.

Like a star

-

So I found this in my things the other day, and it is an alien design for the first space orcs book idea I had that I ended up scrapping. They were designed specifically to be as different form humans as possible, unable to stand us in any way.

I completely forgot about them, but then if you look at the bottom of the page you can see what I named them, “The Kril” and then I realized that they are the inspiration for my character Krill, who like them, can float, is plant based, and can see in infrared .

Guys these crazy dudes are the inspiration for Krill!

I thought they deserved to be resurrected.

Now I just need a good name for them, Comment if you have any ideas :)

. 

It’s Not Over Yet

Summary: Something I whipped up really quick. Godzilla wasn't supposed to be alive. Ghidorah saw him die, so how is he still alive? How is he able to take the form of fire? And how will they survive when Ichi refuses to yield?

-

This was never supposed to happen.

The former king, the false king was supposed dead, and yet here he was, standing over him in a terrifying new form. It's been so long since Ichi felt fear for his own life, not since he was a child on his first planet. He was able to escape to live another day back then, a luxury he felt he no longer had here.

So this was how it was all going to end. Almost half-a-billion years of life, smothered out in this moment. So many trials he's overcome in his life, hardships of his childhood now flashing in his mind. So many lives he's taken, toyed with, the idea of his own mortality never crossing his mind. A Ghidorah is meant to be an immortal being, and to be slain as a full-grown adult was unthinkable.

Yet it was happening.

His brothers were gone, but their neurons remained. He can feel them still, the fear from San was intense and palpable, fueling his own. He is meant to be the alpha brother, to let his own fears not be known to his siblings, yet he knew they could feel it.

Ni's neurons were silent, as it always had been. Ichi wondered if he too was scared.

Self-preservation would tell him to yield, to surrender and plea for his life, his brothers' lives. He felt the neurons of his youngest begging not to die, to be spared, but San had no voice to make his pleas known. He wanted Ichi to give up but the eldest felt their chest tighten at the idea, his throat refusing to speak such words. His pride was always his strongest asset, his biggest weakness, and he refused to back down even as he felt the intense heat and heavy weight upon his chest. His defiance remained strong as he felt their ribcage begin to give way.

His own neurons managed to whisper what should be his final goodbye to his brothers, his apologies for failing to protect them.

Should be.

For the fates had other plans, and that plan took a familiar shape, a familiar sound as a piercing shriek cut through the air. The weight was removed from Ghidorah's chest as a red firey form slammed itself into Godzilla, the glow of its wings just as intense and angry as the radioactive titan’s.

Rodan was used to the heat, he was born of the heat, and his former king's new form did little to frighten him. His body was still pained and stiff from the toxic blow from the fallen Queen, but he still pushed himself to defend his new king, his mate.

Having succeeded in pushing Godzilla away, Rodan stood his ground between the two rivals, wings flared and toothed beak agape in a threat. Godzilla had one hell of a temper, and he would not take kindly to this interruption, but the pterosaur didn't care. He was not willing to stand back and watch his mate be killed. If he had to fall to save them, then so be it.

At the very least, it would serve as a distraction.

Without a word, Ichi pulled his mangled wings painfully against his body as he pushed himself back onto his feet. Retreat was not something he was proud of, but it was certainly better than yielding. Or dying.

All three of their hearts racing, Ghidorah ran as fast as their injured wings and legs could carry them. Even on the ground, he stood a fair chance of outpacing the fat lizard, but in this state, the fear of being caught was very real indeed. He could hear the roar of rage from his rival, and a responding one from the fire pest. He could hear the impact of bodies behind him, he could hear the sound of a charging attack and-

He saw the light before he felt it. A blinding light that engulfed him.

He felt the agonizing wave of heat over his back, and he instinctively curled his head under his body, mangled wings circling around him. But even with this pain, he noticed that it wasn't as bad as it was supposed to be. He dared to look back and saw the their slave has spread his wings to take the brunt of the blow, his rock armor now glowing red as if new from the volcano.

Rodan would survive, and it surprised Ichi why he would bother to think that. Not like he cared about the bird, who served only as their loyal slave to the bitter end.

That seemed to be the last pulse his rival was able to give, for his terrifying new form was gone, his dark grey scales back to normal. Even with that, Ghidorah was not keen to stick around and Ichi pulled himself from his defensive ball and pushed himself forward.

He could hear yelling behind him, didn't care enough to try and understand it. He had to get away, as far away as he can, recover his strength enough to return to the nearest volcano, and use its energy to regenerate his wings and brothers.

Is it over? he heard San ask in their neurons.

"Yes," he whispers in response, echoing the word through his neurons so the youngest can hear him. "It is over..."

They kept going, even when the noise behind them faded, they kept going. The pain was only getting worse as their adrenaline ran itself dry. Their legs felt pulpy and shook beneath their weight with each step. Their wings shot out webs of agony through their shoulders and chest with each movement. Even their tails had not the strength to keep themselves from dragging on the ground.

Their energy was draining fast and there was no sun to help them, their own storm having yet to subside.

At last, Ghidorah could take no more steps and they fell still before collapsing onto the unforgiving ground. Breathe, that's all Ichi could think to do. Draw breath as much as he can, for although they did not require breath to live, it helped in taking what little energy there was in this planet's atmosphere. Ichi's lung was alone in this task, and he wondered if it would be enough to keep them conscious.

It wasn't.

Ghidorah did not know how long they were out for, only that it was the hot gust of wind that woke them from it. It was terrifying, Ichi's head snapping up with wide eyes, fearful that the former king has returned to finish the job. Already, a Gravity Beam was building from his chest into his throat. It would be very weak, but it had all their remaining strength put into it. Meant as a final act of defiance.

But there was no sign of Godzilla, no vibrations from the earth to signal his heavy footsteps. Instead a shadow falls over them, and another hot gust of wind came upon their scales as a winged form landed by them.

It was the fire pest. He survived after all.

Ichi swallowed back the Gravity Beam, and growled a warning at Rodan's approach. He never felt so vulnerable, where even a slave could threaten them, and his eyes gave a brief flash. The telepathic wave of fear emanated from their broken body, and Rodan hesitates for a moment. Just for a moment.

The damn bird always was stupidly suicidal and now was no exception as he continued approaching them. Ichi growls louder, urging a wing to move so as to push themselves up, but no such movement happened. He felt his own scales flinch tenderly as their slave gently settled beside their left side, a wing moving to drape over them in a blanket. He used to always do this, something Ichi used to enjoy. The heat, the volcanic energy always coming from the bir-

Of course.

Ichi felt himself relax, his growls falling silent. The bird's natural energy was helping to mend their smaller wounds, and he felt the impulse to bite down onto their slave, -his armor was still quite soft-, and drain every ounce of life he had, regain that energy faster so as be at peak strength once more. But he knew better. The fire pest always was more useful to them alive than dead.

There was silence between them and Ichi felt nibbles on the scales of his neck. He does nothing to push the bird away, only hissing when Rodan got too close to the burn wound left from the pulse that took his brothers' heads. Rodan paused and then just rested his beak on what remained of San's neck. He felt the twitch there too, but San's neck made no move to push him away.

Finally, after a long moment, Ichi heard Rodan whisper.

"I told him you've yielded," he starts. He feels Ghidorah's body tense up and heard the soft growl from Ichi's throat. But he was not swayed. "It's the only way to keep you alive. I really don't give a shit if you agree with it or not."

"It is-" His voice was soft, too soft for his liking, but at least it still held the level of menace he needed to get the message across. "It is not your place to speak for us."

"Then you can tell him yourself, when you stop dying on the ground," Rodan retaliated. "Honestly, this is the thanks I get for putting my ass on the line for you."

"That was your choice," Ichi stated, lifting his head off the ground to glare down at the bird. Weak as he is, he was still imposing towards the smaller titan. "I do not recall commanding you to get between us. Only to deal with the insect."

"And you just expected me to let you die like that?" Rodan was still not backing down, always so argumentative. "I already lost one mate, like hell I'm losing you too."

Ichi had no real response to that. He knew the fire pest had some odd bond with them, a bond he readily took advantage of to command their slave that much easier. He didn't really care to fully understand it in the past, to understand this dedication to mates that the bird exhibited. Among Ghidorah, there were no pair bonds between mates and the idea was an alien one to them. The only real attachment they had was between the heads, a brotherly love.

Yet here was this creature, completely unrelated and just as much an alien to them as they were to this world, ready to give up everything for this mate bond.

Ichi didn't know if he ever wanted to fully understand it. But at least for the moment, he was grateful that it existed, that it allowed them to live just another day. It's not often he felt grateful to a lesser life-form, and his voice became a whisper as he fights through his pride to say-

"Thank you" to a slave.

Rodan blinked, having never heard such words from Ghidorah before. He taught San to say thanks, but the left head never actually said it with any meaning behind it. Here though, he knew there was truth behind it and he felt his heart lift to be given such an honor. He gives a soft smile.

"You're welcome."

Ichi doesn't look at him, giving a huff as he rested his head back onto the ground, feeling the bird shift to now rest his beak upon Ichi's neck. No twitching this time; already the pain was getting more manageable thanks to their Rodan-shaped first-aid kit. He lets out a breath through his nose and closed his eyes once more. With the warm wing over them and watchful eyes keeping a look-out, he didn't feel so vulnerable anymore and rest was what they needed to get back on the right track.

Soon, they would be strong again and that FALSE king will perish. And this time, they'll make sure he stays dead.

A Bloom In Time Ch2 Idea Forming

Subcon Forest was not a place for just anyone to enter and exit as they please. There was a reason these woods had such a feared reputation and was rumored to be haunted. Because it was. By the King Snatcher of Subcon(as he liked to refer to himself) and his ghastly assortment of minions and dwellers behind him as his undead army, anyone who went in NEVER came out which added to the entire fightfulness of it all!!...Well no one except two little giggling girls who were currently playing with toys and crayons. The dark sky and dead trees twisted with dangerous vines as the sun dared not shine here. If that won't convince you to stay away then maybe the giant chunk of the forest that always so dangerously cold will? Or perhaps the section that's always burning bright with enchanted flames? Or maybe the ghostly king who claimed trespassers' souls as his own or the rumor of a powerful witch? Either way, whatever helps to keep tresspassers out he was all for it. But he had no real responsibilities today. The brats could wonder around his woods as long as they didn't go near the frozen half or Vanessa, or they could go exploring on any other part of the planet for all he cared. As long as they were both back home and in bed by six he was fine with it. Right now he was sitting down enjoying his book of dark tales and legends as he relaxed in his home. The old book in his claws as glowing yellow eyes scanned over the story unfolding from it's yellow pages.

Down in the world unknown there laid a kingdom drab and dark. Where darkness and shadows collided and lived in fear and power. One would be mad to even think about stepping in a place like this. Where the dead are gone but still there, the shadows played and roamed and full of terror. A frightful place brace heros dare not venture unless they wish to meet a tragic fate. Yes. This one place was alone ruled by a power hungry spirit, spited by his love in life and now seeks vengeance on any mortal who dared be foolish enough to be beckoned into his awaiting claws-

SQUEAK!!

.....Snatcher slowly looked up from his book with a small frown. The small express owl plush slowly slid off his face and fell onto his lap with another small squeaky toy sound and he stared down at the little girl who threw it at him and frowning back up at the ghost, and he rolled his yellow eyes. The book in his claws closed and placed down as he gave the girl what she obviously wanted, his attention.

"What is it kiddo? You know it's rude to throw things at people and interrupt someone reading. I thought I taught you two better than that."

"Can you fix it?" She walked up to the edge of his chair and stood on her tiptoes, poking her head over the chair and placing her hands on his lap.

"Fix what?"

She pointed to the toy in his lap and he blinked down at it. A noticeable tear in it's backside was present to him. He rose a brow further before looking back to the small girl by the chair. Bow had come up to join her and now both were peeking over the chair at him, and he sighed picking up said toy with a squeak. "You couldn't fix the toy yourself?"

Both shook their heads before Hattie spoke back up, "You said we weren't aloud to touch any needles, and we don't know how to sew anything."

He still stared at them for a moment before he sighed and forced his floating body up and over to his bookshelf in the corner and the small sewing kit on top of it. It was soon in his hands and the girls climbed onto the giant chair to have a better look at the floating sewing kit and the ghost who started repairing the small toy in his claws. The needle floating easily through the soft fabric of the toy as the floating needle pulled the thread through the tear, before he flicked a clawed finger and pulled the thread tight and the hole was closed up and tied in a tight knot to secure it in place. As he turned back around with the newly fixed toy in his hand, he snapped with his free hand and the kit immediately put itself away as he floated back over and handed the toy back to the two which was grabbed by Bow. They thanked the enormous undead creature by hugging his hand and jumping off said chair. Running out the doorway and laughing their heads off as the two chased each other around. He sighed...a rare small smile coming over his face before he settled back down into the comfy chair. Kids. So full of energy and laughter. Now where was he? OH YES!! With another snap the book went back to it's master's awaiting claws and opened at his own leisure. Now let's pick up where he left off shall we?

The old dusty book crinkled in his hands when he turned the page and began reading the page he left off at. He always enjoyed reading, it helped pass the time and it was one thing he could do now more than ever now that he had no real responsibilities....He glanced back out side real quick where the girls were currently sitting on the ground and using a large mushroom near the ground as a table for them to draw their pictures on and be surrounded by their small toys. Hattie absolutely LOVED exploring and running and jumping from building and trees with her weird alien powers, something about the world she was from having denser gravity and her kind used to space traveling and having to travel in a similar situation on land. But Bow could do similar things but in a less energetic way....When asked Hattie proudly stated she taught her everything, but the smaller curly haired girl preferred to just draw and play with toys rather than adventure. It was kinda cute the way they'd just compromised about what to do everyday. But kids will be kids. With a small smile on his face and book in hands he looked back to the book.

The creature of vengeance was known as one of promises and dealings. Whether If one were to want something most dear to their heart and was determined and pure, or if their heart was filled with greed, envy, and lust he would grant your reply if you were brave or stupid enough to find him. It was when one day a child from a nearby village heard of this rumor that they were excited to find out if it was true or not. Against their parents and everyone else's wishes and warnings, the small child had snuck out to venture into the forbidden dark woods. The brambles scraped and left cuts on their body, the creatures chased after and threatened to eat them if they didn't turn back now, for darker and more sinister things slept in these woods, but bravely the child went on. On and on on their journey to really see this sinister ghost who granted wishes and promises that the mortal eye would repulse to believe. Until the sinister avenger had been found and the massive shadow beckoned the child closer with a boney rigged hand.

"You have traveled far and withstood the tests my forces forwarded. For that you have earned the right to one miracle granted to you. But a warning you have also earned. Be warned, with a pure and honest heart comes great rewards. With a heart who bleeds nothing but black with greed and jealousy, a foul end you shall meet. Think about the consequences greatly, for the repercussions shall be swift and tight. Think well, dear child."

The small child dared to smile at the creature and simply reply, "I have no need for any treasures or anything of preciousness near me. I solely only wished for to see myself if the avenger of shadows was a true sight. And now that I have seen you for what a true being you are, I will simply be leaving satisfied my wish was fulfilled."

The answer of the child amused the ancient spirit and he chuckled his hollow laugh at the very notion of it all.

"Wise answer to an otherwise difficult mortal choice. For that you shall still be granted a prize for your efforts. Name one and answer wisely."

The small child as said had no need for such items like treasure and fortune, but they knew that the child's hard working mother were in need of some fortune in her life. So with a kind heart, the child looked to the spirit and asked for their miracle. "My mother works oh so hard to take care of me. It would be so nice for her to have just a little more luck on her side. Oh spirit, let me repay her for all her kindness she has shown me."

"Your wish shall be granted. A selfless act is always it's own reward, but be wary of those who wish to use those fortunes to their own will."

The child was permitted a safe leave back to their home and as promised their selfless act of kindness was granted by the spirit of shadows. The child and their mother mysteriously found an old box in their pantry one day that they had never known of before and upon opening it discovered many, many priceless jewels. The likes of which they had never seen before. With this new found fortune, the mother and child were able to gain a plentiful farm with all the necessities they needed to have a plentiful life. Farther down in the years the mother even remarried one of the strongest most handsome men in the small village. But this man was nothing but green with want, and treated the mother and her child terribly-

SQUEAK!!

....He looked up again with a frown when another plush toy hit the side of his head. This time it was a Mafia man that fell down to rest in his open book and he looked at the two girls staring up at him again and sighed. "Ok. What now?"

Bow pointed to the toy. "The arm is falling off. Can you fix it please?"

He frowned down at both of them as they innocently stared back and he groaned. Beckoning a finger to the sewing kit on the shelf before putting down the book and picking up the second toy, and true to Bow's word, there was a tear in the left arm threatening to let the whole arm fall off if it wasn't fixed. The kit flew over to him and out came the same needle and thread, and again the same process repeated as he grumpily started sewing the small toy's arm back into place. Within two minutes it was as good as new and handed back to the excited little girls, and the kit back into it's own place.

"Here. But next time, don't throw it at my face ok?...And let me know you want something fixed before you interrupt me, it's so rude."

Both girls giggled and again ran back off as he groaned and repicked up his book from his noodle lap, and started reading again.

He was lazy, rude, and had a heart full of greed. Seeping of those who had better and helping him in life. But one fateful day everything changed. For one day he asked the child's mother a question.

"My dear wife. You know I love you dearly, but I must ask you. Where did you receive such wealth and fortune."

"Why, from a old wooden box in the pantry," she replied happily, "And inside the little wooden chest was gems and riches beyond our wildest dreams."

"Yes, yes! But where did it come from?"

"I know not how it got there or where it came from, but my child and I are oh so happy to have received such a delightful fortune. How we may live happily for a long while."

Her husband was displeased with such an answer and once again asked but this time to the child. The child happily told the man his venture into the woods and his encounter with the spirit of shadows, filling the man's heart with more greed. That very night when the family slept, the man snuck out and made his own way into the deep woods of shadows and fears. Brambles cut his clothing, he cursed those who dare chase him and snap at his hinds as he ran, but the greed and lust in his heart was strong. So strong he persisted his heart green with envy. Alas finally he arrived and looking as though some creature had mangled him with their claws. The spirit was beckoning him closer with a bony rigged hand and spoke.

"Oh one who's heart is sewn with greed and plight. You have sought me through danger and fright. Your actions of greed are inexcusable but like many before you have made it through the path of darkness. For that you have earned the right to one miracle, but also a warning. Be warned, with a pure and honest heart comes great rewards. With a heart who bleeds nothing but black with greed and jealousy, a foul end you shall meet. Think about the consequences greatly, for the repercussions shall be swift and tight. Oh one who comes to me with a black heart for his own wishes. I offer this to you so you may choose your wish wisely."

The man paid no attention to the wise words of the ghost nor did he think about any real consequences for his actions as he spoke what he oh so desired.

"Give me more riches than any man shall have!! Make my fortune one who will make me a fortunate man!! A bright castle and beautiful jewels is what I seek and most desire!!"

"A answer I foresaw and one your shall have for not heeding my warnings. Oh man of greed and selfishness, you shall indeed have your wish awaiting you home. But do not be surprised when your unfortunate fate you shall unevitably meet. Now be gone creature of greed. My domain is not fit for one of you."

The man left for his home and once his got there his had his miracle in the form of the purest black horse with a magnificent couch of ebony, inside the couch was boxes and jewels of every imagining. The man cared not for his wife or the young child that he had left behind, away in this marvelous new couch he received and off that horrid man went into the night with his shouts of greedy glee and pleasure as his family long forgotten. The mother and child awoken to no greedy man plaguing their lives and while the mother was quite saddened, she still had the child to watch after. As luck and fortune does benefit those with kind hearts, another man the mother sought and a kinder gentler man she got. With as much kindness to her and her child this man gave to combat the sorrows left behind by the other greed filled one. One day a message they did receive, about a much bigger estate of land and riches. The greedy man who had once left them behind without a second thought, was now no more as the spirits warnings he did not heed. As fate had decided he would be no more, a swift and tight end he did get. Leaving everything he valued behind of jewels and gold, to no man but a woman he did not care for. His wife and next of kin did receive, fame and fortune for kindness indeed. With kindness in their hearts the family did grow, and with it came all luck and fortune soon to glow.

For those with kind hearts and bright minds, often find themselves on the favorite end of fate's hands.

The old ghost hummed before turning the page of the book to read the next legend or dark tales of the book. It had plenty and so far this one had been the one with the most happiness in it. It was called The Spirit of Fortune and Fate. An oldie but goodie in his mind, he faintly remembered it from when he was younger, who knew someone would remember it enough after all this time to make a book with it, but I digress. He began to read the next legend-

SQUEAK!!

Something was thrown onto his lap and he looked down blinking to see a small cat plush on his lap, it's black fur and yellow eyes staring up at him and it looked a lot like those Nyakuza cats from the city....he rose a brow at it before moving the book and seeing the two cute children smiling up at him again. He groaned and picked up the toy...It didn't look damaged and he looked back to them with a raised brow or what could be considered an eyebrow on a ghost.

"What did I say about throwing toys at me? And what exactly do you want me to fix? " He turned the toy over in his claws. Seams were tight, no holes or tears, and it wasn't in no way word. It still had it's glow in the dark eyes painted on too. "There's no damage." The curly haired child held up a bow and he looked at it. "And? What's that for?"

"I can't get the bow around her neck to stay on, and it keeps looking wrinkled. Can you fix it please?"

Bow was always the more likely one of the two to use things like 'please' and her slightly higher voice made it cuter. He hated(loved it but would never admit it) it and groaned, taking the small bow from Bow and wrapping the long thin end of his tail around the cat toy's body to hold it still while his hands worked. He wasn't wasting magic energy on this, this time. But one downfall of not having knees he guessed. "You couldn't have done this yourself? I thought your name was Bow, kid?"

"That's the name everyone gave me because no one knew mine. Like how Hattie's....Hattie?"

"...I guess you got me there." His claws worked wonders in getting the small bow to stay and at least looked decent in his opinion. He guessed it must've looked good enough to the girls too because when his tail unwrapped around it, Bow gasped and held her arms out as it dropped into the child's awaiting arms and she giggled as the pretty pink bowed cat blankly stared back at her and he repicked up his book again. "There you go, now go play and let me have my peace-"

"Whatcha reading, BFF?" The ever mischevious Hated child reached her hands up and leaned against the chair to make grabby motions towards the book in his hands to which he pulled away and scowled.

"A grown up book you're not allowed to read."

"Why?," she asked climbing onto his chair and crawling into his lap.

He held it higher in one hand. "Because I said so."

SQUEAK!!

The toy was thrown back into his lap and Bow jumped up and latched a hold of the chair cushion, and was helped pull up the rest of the way by Hattie. "Why?," Bow asked as soon as she was sitting in his lap too regrabbing her toy in her arms, "What's it called?" Both were straining their necks up at the book in his hands and he growled. Not in a threatening way, in a way like an older brother would if their little siblings kept bothering him.

"It's Dark and Scary Legends and Stories by Ivanna Gitta Bat. And it's stories are too scary for you two." Their response was to giggle at him like regular children. He was a giant ghost and they played in a haunted forest of swamps with hands, fire spirits, dwellers, and a man trapped in the moon. Hattie had fought him and won, and had faced off against multiple enemies and other threats. How scary could his stories be?.....In a word. VERY. These stories had tales of old MEAN ghosts and gruesome fates, which was putting it lightly, and not fit for two seven year old kids. They couldn't even sleep without their space unicorn nightlight. So with a snap of his hand the book flew and hid itself in the tall shelf of books as the girls 'awwww'-ed in disappointment. "I mean it. NO!!...And what did I tell you two about throwing things at me?"

"You said not to throw it at your face. We threw Mr. Night-" Bow held up the cat teddy. "-at your lap."

Loopholes. They always used them. He sighed and leaned back into his chair while reaching up to rub his face. "Don't you kids have like a minion to play hide and seek with or toys you left outside to play with? You could at least learn how to tie a simple bow to keep yourselves entertained."

"But you fixed them. Don't you wanna play with us?"

He moved two clawed fingers to peer at the girls between them. "Not right now. You'll never understand being...endless aging kids, but grown ups sometimes want their own alone time. Like how you two like to have separate adventures, besides couldn't you just use those time pieces to rewind the damage or som-"

"NO!!" Both jumped at the sudden and loud tone the kid used and she scowled up at the lightly startled ghost. "I can't use them like that!! That's not how they work at all!"

....He blinked before leaning his head in one hand and frowning, "Then elighten me please. After all I-....I don't think you even told me how they work. Besides them keeping you,...you." He pointed to the fact that she was still permanently stuck as a kid. Not that he was complaining. More company for eternity right?

But she just shrugged. "I dunno exactly. I just know that you can't use them without something bad happening most of the time, that's why they're locked up."

"Wait. I thought you could use them."

She shook her head again. "Only reverse what they do, why do you think I use them to power my ship?" She stood in his lap and gave a salute. "The S.S. KIDDO!!" Then her form paused...and she looked down. "They also cut into the user's past and makes them go crazy with that kind of stuff. Like the evil witch in your story." That got a chuckle out of them....and it also made a lot of sense for the affects. He knew when he found one, he went full on crazy with the desire to keep them all. The power of something like THAT under his claws and more than one was appealing to him- "They kinda work like wishing stars." He snapped out of his rambling and blinked down at the little girl who plopped herself back down in her lap and blinked up at him. "Like how I made a wish on a shooting star last week for a whole plate of cookies and Cooking Cat gave me some for a surprise!! And Mustache wished to make all bad guys disappear and it gave her crazy powers to blast them away like in Timmy's video games." She scowled. "She's still a big meanie."

He huffed and smiled a bit....but paused at what she just said. '....Wished to make all bad guys disappear....' '....Gave her powers to blast them away...' How many times had he wished for a certain person to disappear? To get lost? How many times had he wished to never be able to see her again or even risk her being so close? All the trauma and bad memories and all the hurt Vanessa had ever caused could just...be whisked away. POOF!! Like it never even happened....WHY HADN'T HE EVER THOUGHT OF THIS SOONER!? Well, to be far he did have one or two little distractions that kept him on his toes-...Er. Tail so to speak. He slowly looked back to her with much greater interest now.

"Well that's just the cat....But what exactly do you mean they 'work like shooting stars'? You mean that they grant wishes like genies or something?"

She tilted her head confused and blinked. " I don't know what a genie is, but sorta? They make a alternate timeline that has your wants and collides in into your own timeline to make it happen. Why do you think I had to fix all those time rifts?"

.....He blinked, "So you know about time and alternate timelines but you don't know how to tie a bow?" She shrugged again and he sighed..before pausing...."You said they could make anything happen?"

She shrugged not paying attention now as she leaned back into his cool but soft body and pulled off her hat, reaching inside and pulling out a chocolate chip cookie and sticking it into her mouth. "I gueff so." She mumbled with her moth full. "But I don't mike dem mwilke dat."

"Don't eat with your mouth full," he mumbled have paying attention. His mind was elsewhere, or more specifically on SOMEONE. ...Have you ever wished someone would disappear? Yes. And the answer might be right in front of him-

"Snatcher?"

He hummed and looked down to Bow who tugged on his lowered arm. "Can you tell us a story? Please?"

.....He sighed. "Alright. Ill uh..Tell you the one I just finished reading, but after this I wanna be left alone for a little bit." Both girls snuggled down into his sides and he groaned again. This would be a while. "*AHEM* Down in the world unknown there laid a kingdom drab and dark. Where darkness and shadows collided and lived in fear and power. One would be mad to even think about stepping in a place like this-" Hat Kid raised her hand. ".....Yes?"

"What does 'drab' mean?"

He groaned. Yep. Gonna be a looooong day today.

flawsome bandits pt. 14 ♡ sonic

Flawsome Surges 

Part 14! Oooh, I got some spicy stuff in this one for you darlings ;) Sorry for the later update, the characters just didn’t want to talk today! I hope all of you are doing well, and please let me know what you think! Love you all, my darlings ♡

Warnings - FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, and some mentions of death

♡♡♡

This was it. This was the day. 

He was finally going to get off of this horrible, HORRIBLE planet! Of course, he had to bring Knuckles with him, but as soon as he figured out a game plan and could finally get his hands on every material he needed, the insufferable stupidity wouldn’t matter as much. They had finally managed to generate enough power to make it back to Green Hills, the last place where he had seen those two little wretches. And yes, it was very probable that they had fled the scene since they would have at least been smart enough to know that people would come looking for them.

But that’s exactly what they want you to think, now isn’t it?

From Robotnik’s common sense, he figured that the two hedgehogs were most likely still living with that idiot cop and his side piece. It was only the most logical option given their bond. It still boggled Robotnik’s mind to wonder why such a smart cop would give up his life for those two aliens. It didn’t even matter if Y/n had once been a human, she was still a hedgehog. A peculiar, alien hedgehog with no business disgracing the earth with her presence. As soon as he found her, he was going to make sure that she never bothered another human being on this planet again. And as for Sonic? Well, add in a little more torture and then he would be good to go!

As soon as the trio passed through Shadow’s golden ring, they were greeted with the

crisp night air of Green Hills. Robotnik finally let out a sigh of relief as he glanced over the familiar buildings of the downtown area. Shadow and Knuckles both widened their eyes from the backseats as they pressed their faces against the windows, looking down at all of the strange creatures walking around with hardly any body hair.

It seemed that the only inch of Robotnik without hair was his head.

Robotnik did his best to keep the drone under his control as they flew quietly above the town, but the way that it sputtered and rocked on its own proved that it would never be as gravity-defying as it once was. As they passed by one of the old diners that had been getting some recent renovations, the drone began to whine abnormally. 

“Um, Doctor, should we worry about that?” Shadow asked, his ears twitching as the whining nearly broke his eardrums. Robotnik, always putting his ego first, simply chuckled darkly from his position behind the throttle.

“Don’t be stupid, Shadow. Everything is fine.” 

Unfortunately, everything was NOT fine. As the whining became increasingly louder, a patch of duct tape that had been holding one of the engines together split at the seams from the pressure. With the lack of support, a vital piece of machinery as well as the cover for it went flying off of the drone, free falling through the air until it crashed onto the pavement. Some late night bingoers who were heading home stopped and stared at it seemingly came falling out of the sky. 

“What was that?” “Was it a bird?” “No, you stupid-head. It looks like some sort of machinery.”

“Should we call Tom?” 

The people did their best to find any other traces of evidence, but all that they were able to find was a blank sky and a couple of skid marks leading into the woods.

♡♡♡

Early the next morning, Tom Wachowski was woken up three hours before his usual rising time by a phone call. Of course, it was Wade, wanting to know what he should do about all of the people calling in to report a strange piece of metal that fell out of the sky last night. Tom nearly dropped his cell into the toaster once he heard that.

“Dad?” Y/n asked, her tone laced with concern. Tails and Sonic sat at the kitchen island next to her, munching on some toast she had made them. Spirit was pouring herself a glass of orange juice by the fridge while Maddie was rushing to get her lab coat on. 

“You okay?” 

“Y-yeah,” Tom furrowed his brows in concentration as he hung up the phone. “Apparently some metal dropped out of the sky last night. Downtown. I’m going to go check it out.”

“Can we come with you?” Y/n’s e/c eyes sparkled anxiously. Things were changing so much that right now the only thing she needed was a distraction. And it did sound rather suspicious that some random piece of material would come falling out of the sky in the middle of the night. Last time that happened, Crazy Carl was trying to reenact Chicken Little.

Sonic nodded rapidly from his seat. “Yeah! I want to be a detective!”

“I thought you were Bonnie,” Tails narrowed his eyes in confusion. Y/n chuckled.

“No, I’m Bonnie. He’s Clyde. And that’s just what Egghead likes to call us.” She slipped some more toast onto her plate and took a huge bite out of it. Spirit slid a class of juice across the counter over to Y/n, who looked to her mother for assistance.

“It might be educational to bring them along, Tom,” she slid her stethoscope around her neck. Tom nearly choked on his coffee as he looked around the room.

“Wait, all four of them?”

“Why not?” “Three of them aren’t human, sweetie.” Maddie rolled her eyes, a smile playing across her lips as she put her shoes on. She pecked her husband on the cheek, causing him to blush.

“You’ll be fine, honey. Y/n, you’re in charge.” 

“Yes, ma’am!” 

“Hey!” Tom tried yelling but got interrupted by Maddie slamming the door shut behind her. He huffed and crossed his arms across his chest, staring back at the three alien animals and one teenage girl. “Ugh… go get your shoes.” 

A couple hours later, our favorite Ring Squad arrived at the scene of the crime, clad in sunglasses and tennis shoes. Thankfully, they had chosen to come at a decent time where no one else was around but that might have also been because everyone was freaked out and didn’t want another Robotnik incident to happen again. Tom crouched down before the giant piece of metal that hadn’t really been moved from its position on the ground. Y/n and Sonic were quick to follow in suit, leaning against one another to make sure that they didn’t fall over.

“Interesting…” Tom hummed. Y/n lifted her sunglasses onto her forehead and leaned forward a little more. As her e/c orbs scanned the piece of machinery, she suddenly noticed something familiar nestled underneath some duct tape.

“Hey, Dad, do you see that?” 

“See what?” Y/n carefully peeled back some of the duct tape, being careful not to touch the actual piece of machinery too much. Once the duct tape was gone, a specific logo painted in red and black stared back at them.

“Do we know what that is?” Tails asked, popping his head up from behind Tom’s shoulder. Sonic’s heart began to race as he realized just what exactly he was looking at. And Y/n’s world shattered. It was happening. Tails wasn’t lying.

“It’s Robotnik. He’s back.” 

A very thick layer of silence coated them as they stared in fear at the logo. Some of them were wondering that if they stared at it long enough it would disappear while the other half were just trying to wrap their heads around what they were going to do next. Y/n, on the other hand, felt like she was going to throw up until she passed out. Before she didn’t have any real proof that what Tails had been talking about was real; not that she didn’t believe he was legitimate. She had just been trying to wrap her head around the simple concept that Robotnik was going to come back, but that seemed impossible. It had to be impossible. Because if it weren’t impossible, then that meant that her worst fear was going to come true.

She might die.

“W-what do we do now?” Tails was the first to break the silence, his nerves getting the best of him. He had internally been hoping that he was wrong. Not only did Y/n and Sonic seem like an adorable pair of innocent hedgehogs, but Spirit was just a teenage girl who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She was beautiful. Not that that had anything to do with it!

What are you talking about?

Spirit ran a nervous hand through her hair and glanced around at them. “I… I guess we should try to track them down?” It came out as more of a question. She had good intentions and simply just wanted to help the girl that she used to know from her class. Little did she know just what she was getting into.

Y/n slowly nodded next to Sonic, but she wasn’t mentally there. Her eyes had glossed over with such a thick film that it made the others wonder if she had even heard them at all. Sonic pressed a concerned hand on his partner’s shoulder, looking at her with worried emerald orbs. She jumped a little at the sudden contact, but his warmth settled her back down.

“N/n? You alright?” He asked softly. 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine… We should probably try to find him. The skid marks lead out into the forest, so that’s probably our best bet.” She talked quickly, almost as if she was trying to forget that the last two minutes had happened. The others nodded in agreement, but their worriment didn’t fade in the slightest for the young hedgehog. Sonic made a mental note to talk to her about it next time they were alone.

“It’ll probably be better to keep this away from the public,” Tom slowly began to stand up, placing his hands on his hips. 

“Y/n, Spirit, Tails, and I could camp out in the woods in search of him,” Sonic suggested, ignoring the equally I’m-going-to-kill-you and shocked expression that crossed Tom’s face. “You said yourself it’ll be best to keep this under wraps. What better way to do that than by having their own sheriff here to make sure it stays that way?”

Tom opened his mouth to protest, but Spirit beat him to it.

“You have a point… I suppose we could camp out there for a while. Move the camp around a bit to make sure that we’re not sitting ducks. Maybe then we could catch them by surprise and take them out before they even make it back to town.” 

“Now, wait a second, you kids need a chaperone at least and I don’t feel very comfortable having a perverted little-”

“I am not perverted!” 

“Dad!” Y/n quickly interjected before that conversation took another dangerous turn. She laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of her neck. “I know it’ll be the first time we’ve been away without you for longer than a couple days, but trust me. We will be fine. I’ll bring a burner to make sure I can contact you and let you know we’re okay.”

Tom still didn’t look convinced as he initiated a staring contest with his daughter. But as his eyes bore into her fearful e/c ones, he already knew his answer. No matter how much he hated it, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to help much out there with them. And with Y/n and Sonic’s abilities combined, plus whatever Tails and Spirit could contribute, they would be able to take him out in a matter of minutes. He hoped. No, he prayed. They would be fine.

...it was too late to kill him. She liked him too much.

“Alright, fine. BUT you guys need to make sure to pack as many safety weapons you can. You never know what might happen out there.” 

The four of them chorused in agreement. Even though they were basically heading into certain death, they still managed to make it seem as casual as a group trip to the movies. Well, everyone except for Y/n. As they made their way back to the Wachowski household, she couldn’t stop her mind from winking back to that vision.

The stench of smoke filling her nose.

The flames lapping at the trees.

The screams filling her ears.

The deadly vial pressed against her lips.

And the dark figure standing behind her. 

Smiling.

♡♡♡

“Do you think I should bring along my entire Flash collection or just half of it?” Sonic asked, thumbing through some of the old editions of his favorite comic. He waited for a moment for his girlfriend to respond, but when he was only greeted with silence, he turned around. Y/n sat on his bed, a blank expression written on her face as she stared at one of the posters on his wall. 

“Hey…” Sonic’s ears began to droop. Seeing her like this shattered him more than anything. It felt like ages since he had last seen her smile. He slowly approached her and sat down on the bed next to her, running his hand along the side of her jaw. She shuddered a little at the touch, but at least it was a response. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

She stayed silent for a moment. “I just… I don’t know what to do, Sonic…” He swooped his fingers from her jawline and brought them up and behind her ear. As he gently stroked the spot, she closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. She felt her stomach twist in nerves and her heart squeal at the cuteness of the moment.

“It’ll all be alright, N/n. I promise you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” At his words, Y/n’s body suddenly went limp as she buried her face into his chest. It only took him around three seconds to process what was going on here. He wrapped his arms around her body and hugged her tighter, trying to show his feelings for her through body language too. He tried to stop his cheeks from flushing, but Y/n was as red as a tomato by now, so he had nothing to worry about.

“...I know. I’m just… scared. What happens if we can’t do it? If he’s too strong? If I… don’t make it-” Before she could even finish her sentence, Sonic had already pulled her out of his embrace and was now holding her by the shoulders. All that she could do was just blink in surprise, shock from the lack of body warmth and from the fact that he had never been this tough loving before. It finally clicked in her head that he was upset because of what she had been about to say. She stared into his eyes, waiting for him to say something. But he simply stared at her with half lidded eyes, the irises swimming with so many emotions she had a hard time keeping track of them all. He opened his mouth for a moment, but instantly shut it again. The anticipation made her heart squirm in confusion and even her brain wondered if she should do something as she waited with her hands on his chest and his wrapped around her shoulders. It was only when she noticed the rest of the room fading away around her that she realized he was getting closer. He was leaning in. Should she lean in? She wanted to, but for some reason, she was frozen. Slowly, it got to the point where all that she could see was his beautiful eyes.

His forehead gently pressed against hers. Their breath mingled with one another as his lips parted. Emerald melted into the e/c, and he took the opportunity to close the distance. 

He knew that he was home the instant his lips touched hers.

Every inch of their bodies exploded with fireworks at the kiss. Y/n felt her body melt into his embrace as she kissed him back, her hand naturally finding its way up to his cheek. Sonic’s hands gently pressed against the back of her neck as they deepened the kiss. It was one of those moments where their hearts began to beat in sync and their cheeks were hotter than the sun. 

Suddenly, a flash of electric blue lightning shot through the sky outside. It startled the two of them, causing their kiss to end, but not enough to distance them from one another. Their noses were still touching as they glanced out the window.

“W-what was that?” Y/n stuttered, her heart beating at a million miles an hour. Sonic chuckled, rubbing his nose against hers in a teasing manner, in turn making her flush an even deeper shade of red.

“I think it was an, um, emotional reaction,” Sonic nervously explained. Y/n instantly nodded slowly, making Sonic’s move along with her. It was adorable and nervous and a memory that they both made sure to burn into their minds. They wanted to cherish this moment for the rest of their lives. They slowly settled back into a silence, only this time it was comfortable. The warmth radiated off of Sonic’s body and covered Y/n in a metaphorical blanket. 

When she was with him, she felt safe. 

Safer than she had ever felt in her life. And when he was with her, he felt like he belonged. Even when he had been thrown out of every other “home” he had been to. Y/n’s eyes began to glow a gentle luminescent blue as the butterflies swarmed her stomach. 

She tilted her head a little, and kissed him again.

♡ a.a.

When Someone Has Your Back

(I thought I posted this last night but apparently not.)

Here’s my entry for @forduary based on Week 2: Trust/Paranoia.

Summary: Life on the sea has done wonders for Stan and Ford Pines but a stop in New Orleans brings an unwanted, surprising, and dangerous guest.

Word Count: 4417

Warnings: There is fighting in this (this was good practice for me since I've never written a fight scene before) but no mentions of blood. I did not want this to be considered graphic. 

Ao3 Link for those who prefer!

“Ford for Pete’s sake I can handle myself. You want to do your nerd thing and I want to go hang out at a bar. It’s okay,” Stan said slightly exasperated.

Close to a year at sea had done wonders for the old Pines twins. Stan hadn’t felt so at peace for a long time. Sure, that fact that some of his rougher memories had been AWOL for most of the year helped but being with Ford at sea, doing what they always dreamed of doing? Well it was a dream. Even dreams have rough patches though.

Ever since Stan had been erased to defeat some sort of dream demon his brother had been perhaps a little too protective of him. It was an improvement from the sad sap that Ford had become after the erasing. That had really pissed Stan off as more memories of who his brother was came back. He wanted to sail with his brother not this sad, sullen nerd that was holding his tongue so much that Stan was sure it had bled a few times. Stan put his foot down before they sailed out.  

“Ford if you don’t stop being so down and start being yourself, I’m not going out with you. I’ll probably throw you overboard within a week.”

That had worked more or less. For the first time in years they talked their problems out. It was a good start and within a day Ford had been back to bantering with Stan like they had never been apart. Of course, that hadn’t stopped the other issue Stan was having. Ford had become incredibly protective of him. Sure, that had been a thing in a way when they were young. Stan handled the bullies and Ford covered for him with the one he couldn’t deal with, their dad. He would stick up for Stan and help him when homework got too hard. Once he had even stayed up all night to talk Stan through his whining when Carla McCorkle had broken up with him.

Now it was different. More...intense. Stan knew it was a strange mix of Ford’s caring for him, wanting to make up for his so-called sacrifice, and his paranoia. Boy howdy was Ford paranoid. Not that Stan blamed him. Whenever the subject of his time traveling the multiverse was brought up his brother would only speak of the good but there had been bad as well. Stan hadn’t told Ford but the memory of the quick change in the fearimaid had come back a few months ago. Stan remembered the scars that told a horrific story across his brother’s body.  

So, Ford had every right to be paranoid and Stan would let him have that. He could understand this at least. He let his brother be the odd boy guard he really didn’t need and went along with whatever protective measure his brother saw fit to take. He would deal with his brother being uptight in crowed places and seeing danger everywhere. He was there with his favorite tea when the nightmares would wake him in a fit of crying. Just like Ford was there for him when nightmares wrecked his own sleep.  

But Stan was also a grown 58-year-old man and had most of his memories back and he just wanted to go get a damn drink.  

“The tour is fascinating though. I thought it would be a good place to start for ghost hunting,” Ford reply looking like a slightly hurt puppy.

“We can go ghost hunting later. I promise but it’s hot as hell here and I don’t feel like going.”

“Then I’ll go get a drink with you.”

“Ford. I know you feel like you need to like watch over me or somethin’ but I promise you, I will be okay. Okay? Look if we don’t do some things apart, you’re gonna get sick of me.”

“Stan, I have told you over and over again I will never, ever, get sick of you.” Ford said standing to grip Stan on the shoulders.

“Yes, and I believe that now...mostly,” Stan ignored the frustrated look in his brother’s eyes, “But everyone needs space now and again. I’ve been to New Orleans before I know where I’m going. While we’re here I can show you all the good places to eat. Look how about I go get a drink, you go look at tombstones or whatever and we’ll meet back here to find a place to eat. We got these cell phones for a reason you know.”

The kids had insisted that they get phones if they were going travel like they were. McGucket had even decked them out so they would work wherever. Ford and Stan, with lots of help from the kids, had even figured out texting.  His twin sighed and let go of his shoulders.

“Very well. But keep that ringer of yours on okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

So, they parted ways. Ford seemed hesitant to keep walking down his street but eventually kept walking. Stan found the place he was looking for and took a seat. Jazz wasn’t his favorite thing in the world but nothing beat a good live band and a fruity drink that he wouldn’t be caught dead drinking any other time. The afternoon passed in piece and as the sun started to get lower in the sky Stan made his way back to the boat. It was a good afternoon and Stan had even scored a date for tomorrow, which meant some working around his brother but the boat had separate rooms for them for a reason. All and all a good time. He walked lazily back to where the boat was docked when the sound of a dinosaur roar made him jump. Mabel thought it was a good text tone for his brother and, while she wasn’t wrong, it still made him jump from time to time.  

I need to get her to tell me how to change it.  

Stanley. I will be back at the boat in 10 minutes time.

Ok Ford. ‘Bout to walk on.  

…

Please remember to turn off the alarm!

Stan rolled his eyes. Ford had installed some sort of proximity alarm and he had to turn it on and off as he came and went but it eased his brother’s mind so whatever.  

Stan had only managed to take a single step on the deck of the ship when a cold feeling went up his spine. Someone was watching him. Before he could react, there was the thundering footsteps behind him and the feeling of something blunt on the back of his head. He fell onto his knees and yelled out in pain. Looking through blurred vision he turned to face his attacker. Stan almost screamed again. A dark green creature was glowering down at him. It vaguely reminded him of a snake if a snake had grown arms and legs and had been on a steady steroid regiment. This had to be an alien of some sort, right? Despite what Ford thought Stan did pay attention to his nerdy rants. This didn’t match any of those cryptids he was looking for around here unless a snake man was an option, he wasn’t aware of. Well it was Louisiana.  

“Stanford Pines,” it hissed, “it had been too long.”

An alien that’s looking for my brother. Wonderful.  

He will be fine. Everything will be fine.  

What if he had a memory lapse?  

He hasn’t had one in 6 months. If he does, he keeps his facilities on him enough to ask for help. Your number is his emergency contact.  

What if he gets hurt?  

He’s right he’s an old man who can care for himself!  

This internal argument had been on repeat in Ford’s head for about two blocks now. He forced his feet forward anyway. He did it for Stan’s sake. He needed space and Ford needed space even if he would never voice that to his twin. Stan was right, not about Ford getting sick of him no. Ford was determined to use his last 30 years or so to make up for lost time. Traveling with his brother brought about a pure joy that he didn’t think was possible for him to feel again and he would never want it to end. But they were still very different people and being stuck on a small boat for months, even with separate rooms, had frayed a few nerves. Yes, this was healthy and needed.

But Ford’s damn brain would not shut up.  

By the time Ford reached the tour Stan had already been mentally kidnapped by swamp creatures 3 times. Maybe just texting his brother would help, or would that annoy Stan too much? Ford had been trying very hard to be considerate of Stan’s feeling since he had spent so much time frankly not doing just that. Part of his worry was that Stan would maybe get tired of him and want to stop, go back to Gravity Falls with the treasures they found and get Ford to leave him alone. The old scientist knew he was hard to deal with at times but Stan seemed to take most of it stride. What was worrying was his twin brother seemed to really understand what he was going through. Why would Stan know about the need to watch his back almost constantly? Why did he insist on having his own pistol under his bed and brass knuckles on him at all times? Both of them hadn’t been very forthcoming with bits and pieces of their past but at least Stan had an excuse up until now. He claimed he had most of his memories back so he was just choosing not to share at this point.

“Sir?” Ford jumped and his hand flew to his concealed weapon before he focused on the young man that looked wide eyed and concerned.  

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just the tour is about to start are you joining us?” In his thoughts Ford had paused to think and the tour group had started moving without him.

“Ah sorry just didn’t see you there. Yes, I’m coming.” Ford said awkwardly shoving his hands behind his back. The young man gave him a thumbs up and started the tour with an explanation of the above ground graves they were walking by. The guys’ voice reminded him of Fiddleford a bit but there was a difference in the drawl, it lacked that mountain twang. He found himself thinking that he should give his old friend a call tonight after dinner. Ford followed at the back, away from the crowd. It was an ideal position; he could watch the people in the front and look out for things behind him. The crowd was bothering him no matter how hard he tried to shake it.  

That was another reason he had wanted his brother along for this. Ford had gotten used to Stan’s presence in his life. Knowing he wasn’t alone all the time anymore had been a Godsend for his mental health if he was being honest. Paranoia is easier to deal with when you know someone has your back. Standford Pines could trust his twin brother and it made a world of difference.  

The tour was informative and it led to a good place to start for some ghost hunting. The watch Ford had modified had picked up on several ectoplasmic disturbances and he was pleased with the adventure he had planned out with Stan. Ford finally allowed himself to text his brother. He had managed to only text him two times before now in an attempt to show some restraint with his worries. Hopefully Stan would turn off the alarm as it made a very annoying buzzing noise come from his watch. The alarm annoyed Stan, especially when he had a guy or girl over and he had to fiddle with it before getting to whatever business they were doing for the night, but he never told Ford to get rid of it.  

There was a sigh as the alarm went off and Ford put it to snooze. A minute later it went off again and it sent a worried ringing up the old man’s arm. Ford texted Stan.

Please turn off the alarm.

Another minute passed. The alarm buzzed some more.

Stan?

A knot began to form in Ford’s stomach. He gave up texting and called.

“Hey uh this is Stan Pines. Leave some info unless you’re the IRS.” Straight to voicemail. Stan had promised to answer it and keep it on him. Something was wrong. Ford immediately began to run the remaining distance between himself and the boat. 5 minutes of straight running was making his lungs burn but he didn’t care, he had to find his brother. The docks were empty as he finally caught sight of the Stan of War.  

Not good no one around to see if he got dragged off dammit Stanley you had better be okay!  

The running stopped as his trained eye spotted something shine on the deck. It was Stan’s phone. He had made it to the deck of the ship at least.  

Focus. Look for clues and calm down. You’re no good like this. What’s your big brain good for if you can’t find and follow clues? Use your logic. Okay he made it to deck that’s for certain maybe...is that...my voice?  

Ford’s head snapped to the cabin. Muffled voices were coming from behind the door. With more stealth than an owl hunting in the moonlight Ford made his way to the door. Inside it was indeed his voice coming through the wall as well as another that sounded so familiar, his mind raced to place it. It had to be one of the bounty hunters that had been after him in the multiverse he knew that but which one? The unknown hunter and his brother were in the middle of a conversation.

Good Stan keep it talking I need to think of a plan!  

“And what about those extra digits?” The unknown voice questioned.

“Had them cut off. They were a very identifiable mark. You’re not the only person after me after all. Perhaps it would be best to not to deal with me so hastily. Don’t want to have any other bounty hunters jealous of you, do you?” Stan said imitating Ford’s voice.

“Your time here has made you forget. The multiverse fears me. No one would dare challenge me. Prepare yourself, your head is now mine.”

“Very well. If last wishes are something you care about just leave this dimension when you are done.” Stan again said in his impression of Ford.

The impression was flawless, just like it had been in the fearimaid. Ford finally put two and two together. A cold feeling enveloped his body as thoughts of a memory gun in his hand and his brother at his mercy swam to the top of his consciousness. This was worse.  

Oh, sweet Moses.  

He’s pretending to be me again.  

He’s about the take the fall for me again.  

Stan’s about to get his head chopped off by a blood thirsty inter-dimensional bounty hunter to protect me.  

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO!  

In a rare moment all logic left the mind of Stanford Pines.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!” Ford screamed bursting through the cabin door and tackling the killer into the other side of the cabin, causing it to drop the razor-sharp blade it was holding. Ford began to punch it in the face with all of his might.  

“Oh, hey Ford there you are.” Stan quipped in his normal voice. Ford could barely hear him over the roaring of blood in his ears.  

The hunter was thrown off by the sudden appearance of another Stanford Pines and Ford wasn’t going to waste the opening. He tugged at the hitman’s blaster, wresting it free from its holster. The hunter gave him a powerful kick to the chest that sent Ford halfway across the cabin.

“Hey Ford I know you’re a little busy but if you get something sharp my way, I can cut myself out!” Stan shouted.  

“Shut UP! I don’t know what sort of magic this is but I’ll kill you both for good measure!” The creature hissed and lunged for the gun. Ford’s chest was aching but he didn’t pay it any attention as he pulled his own gun.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Ford roared and fired. The shot hit square in the chest but the monster’s hide was too thick. With a cold jolt in his being Ford now fully recognized the bounty hunter. They had clashed more than a few times over the years and every time Ford barely managed to escape with his life. The last time had been 6 years ago. That encounter ended with Ford jumping into a rushing river as a last stitch effort of escape.  Its species was tough and blaster fire barely did a thing to them. The scientist in him often wondered if more traditional firearms would work better but the pistol was under Stan’s cot, there was no way to get to it. Ford kept firing desperately.

A part of Ford was sure he wasn’t going to survive this encounter with the hunter and it didn’t matter to him if he did in the long run, as long as he brought the monster down with him. He would not let him hurt his brother. If he died and the hunter was still alive Stanley would have to face it alone. So, Ford couldn’t die just yet and if he did, he’d just have to get back up again until Stanley was safe. The hunter picked up its own blaster and aimed for Ford’s head when Stan crashed into the creature chair and all. The blaster went sliding again across the cabin.

“Hey dumb-ass you kind of suck at this if you can’t tell two targets apart!” Stan heckled the thing from his now prone position. The creature hissed again and lunged at Stan’s neck but Ford was faster. He took the thing by its neck and slammed it into the floor and struggled to put his own gun to the creature's head.

“Let’s see if you can shrug off point blank ARGGGGG!” Sharp claws ripped into Ford’s shoulder and peeled him off. The hunter sprung to its feet and gave Ford a kick, and then another. Somewhere in the chaos Ford’s gun flew from his hands and landed under a desk. There was a crack of something in his chest and face but Ford didn’t care. On the third kick he grabbed the boot of the killer and tossed it off balance enough to give Ford time to stand.

Get it away from Stan! Get it away! Repeated in his head.

Taking out his knife Ford slashed at it wildly. Each step towards it brought claws closer to his face but he didn’t care. Seeing an opening Ford got in close and with all of his might he shoved the hunter through the door of the cabin earning him a clawing to the chest in the process.  

Ford had exactly one idea but he needed to reach the stern of the ship. He managed to make it half way there when the killer caught up to him, using its claws to try and bring Ford down again. He stumbled but stayed uptight turning to face his attacker. It had managed to pull another blade and swung, missing Ford by a hair. He took the chance to kick it back away from him but it had less of an impact that he hoped. Sharp black claws ripped into his sweater and it held the blade at Ford’s throat.

“30 years of chasing you and this is how it ends? How pathetic!” It rose its arm to swing when another pair of arms appeared underneath the creature’s elbows. Stan had gotten free and with all his might pulled it away from Ford. Stan threw it into the wall of the cabin and started to go at it with his knuckles covered in brass.

“30 years huh? Well you’re never fucking with my brother EVER AGAIN!” Stan thundered.

Ford saw his chance. Pushing back the sickness in his stomach at the thought of pointing another gun at Stan he reached the harpoon at the stern. “STAN MOVE!”  

His brother didn’t even need to look back to tell what he was doing, with a leap the way was clear and Ford fired, hitting his mark. There was a loud crack as the harpoon broke the cabin wall. Then silence.  

Ford collapsed onto the deck of the boat.

“S-Stanley,” he croaked, “are you okay?”

Stanley stood and ran over to him wincing at the sight of the damage. To Ford’s relief his brother only seemed to have a minor injury or two.

“AM I OKAY!? Ford, we need to get you to a hospital!” Stanley began to try and lift Ford who responded with a hiss.

“No, no we can’t leave that here like that. What if someone comes by.”  

“Ford it’s 5:30 on a Friday night no one’s gonna see this.”  

Ford began to try and stand on his own. “Really Stan I’ve had worse. I’ll sail us out to open water, deal with him, and then maybe rest.” Try and he might his ribs wouldn’t let him stand.  

“FORD SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!” Stanley screamed. Ford finally obeyed and gave his brother an owlish look in surprise.

“You’re worried that much about people finding it? Fine I’ll sail us out a bit, deal with it then I’m getting your ass to a hospital.” Stan stood and within a moment or two had the boat pulling out of the dock. Ford was quiet for a moment, observing his brother and making sure no underlying injuries were causing problems. Five full minutes of silence passed before Stan spoke again.

“He was looking for you. I guess I don’t blame ya for being so paranoid,” he muttered.

“Yes. Stan...Stan I’m so sorry.” With the adrenaline wearing off all Ford could feel was the pain and the fear. Fear that his brother almost died again.

“I-I should have warned you this could happen...I know I haven’t been very forthcoming about my time away but I’ll tell you now and, and...” Tears were building in Ford’s eyes. Stan turned from the wheel for a moment to look at him.

“Ford you don’t have to tell me anything okay? And stop apologizing.”

“YOU ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF ME!” Ford’s voice cracked with the stress. Stan flipped on the auto pilot Ford had built and sat next to his now sobbing brother.  

“Ford...”

“Stan, I heard you. You were pretending to be me again. Why? You were going to let him kill you t-to protect me? Why?”

Stan opened his mouth.

“And don’t you dare say better you than me!”

Stan coughed to perhaps give himself a moment to course correct and spoke. “Meh I was okay...”

“Okay? How...how are you so calm with this...how did you know t-that?” Ford was sure he had taken too hard of a hit there was no way Stan was okay with this.

“If ya let me finish Ford. I was saying I knew I was going to be okay because I know you’ve got my back.”

Stan, to Ford’s utter shock, was smiling.  

“You know the more I remember about my past the happier I am to be here. I mean that in all senses of that statement too. Like to be alive. People have tried to kill me before too and I was all alone then. Just like you were. And it’s awful.” Ford wanted to hug his brother and simultaneously find whoever had dared to go after him. That’s why he understood so well.  

“But I think I’ve finally managed to hang on to the idea that you’ve got my back and I’ve got yours. Hell, even if you woke up hating me again tomorrow, I’d still have your back.”

“ I never hated you and I never will,” Ford whispered quietly.  

“Meh I think it might have been touch and go there a minute.”

“...I will always be there for you Stan and not because of what you did either, I know you think that’s the only reason I’m here sometimes no matter how hard you hide it. I will always be there for you because you are my brother.”

“Thanks. You know I should probably tell you the people who might have me on their kill list...I just need to remember their names first.” Stan rubbed his sore head.

“Don’t freak out things just get a little jumbled after crazy stuff like that.” He pointed to the hunter.

“I’m not,” he was, “but just so you know if anyone so much as touches you wrong, I’m going to kill them.”

“Yeah I got that point. Guess this isn’t going to exactly ease those nerves of yours huh?”

“I’m sorry I’m so...”

“Ford if you apologize one more damn time, I’m gonna...I don’t know...toss one of your nerd books overboard with that guy.”

Ford closed his mouth.  

“I can handle you dealing with whatever your time is space sideburns land did to you in your own way. I just hope I can get you to relax and enjoy life a little more ya know?”

“I am. With you around watching my back I have been able to relax a bit. Thank you, Stanley, for understanding.”  

20 minutes was all Stan was willing to spend on the job. Stan patched Ford up as much as he could in the meantime. He also started to do the math on the repairs then decided to say fuck it to that for the night. Before disposing of whatever this guy was, Stan pocketed some of his fancier looking stuff to Ford’s amusement.

“What Fiddlenerd might like to look this over.” Was Stan’s only argument.

Once docked he called an ambulance (“This crazy huge dog came out of nowhere and attacked us!”) and they were on the way.

“Once you’re healed up Ford, I’m going to show you the time of your life and some of the best damn food in the world.”

Ford smiled, “Looking forward to it.”

Time will Crawl (a short Sandman fan fiction)

Time Will Crawl  

This fan fiction was inspired by this illustration by @artwinsdraws​ 

Disclaimer:  This is a Sandman fan fiction.   The Sandman belongs to Neil Gaiman and DC Comics.  

 Come!  Come! Come!  

 He felt the words as surely as he heard them, faint and echoing in the void.  Old magick.  It had felt it like a tugging at his very soul.  He was too weak to resist the pulling that dragged him down, down, down… Forcibly pulling at his essence.  

 He fell forward and slammed into hard flooring.  He was disorientated at the sudden presence of gravity.  He could feel the magick of the binding circle sealing him in, closing him off from all those who had a psychic link with him within his realm.  He saw them, the mortal occultists, in their dark robes, as they moved to get a closer look at their prisoner.  They moved like a swarm of insects.  He blinked his completely-black eyes behind the tinted lenses of his helm. The tiny star pupils the only hint that there was more than mere darkness to be seen in his eyes.

  He lay there, stunned and …and so very tired…  He had never felt so weary in his long life…   He had struggled so hard against the summoning magick and now he could barely keep his eyes open.   Someone grasped at the helm he wore with both hands. Someone was raising his head, carefully.  They were pulling the helm free of his head.  He felt his own dark fall around his bone-white face.  His cloak was taken.  Now he actually felt the cool, damp of the cellar in English summer time.  Never mind about the cloak.  That could easily be replaced.  He could conjure another… as soon as he was free he could conjure another...  

 He blinked.  The ruby amulet was snatched and finally the pouch that he loathed to be without.  He felt more naked without that pouch than without raiment.  That he could not allow.  He summoned what strength he had left and sat up to reach for the pouch.  He stopped as if there was an invisible wall in front of him. He could not pass the edge of the magical binding circle, which was on the ground around him, and he knew it. His belongings were just out of reach…

 So tired… So very tired… The room was growing dim and the floor was strangely inviting.   He fainted.    

 Trapped. Observe.  Threats.   Patience.   Patience…   Patience…

 It had been years since that first night.  It was midnight though it might as well have been noon down in that dungeon. There were no windows.  He hadn’t seen this world’s sun in almost twenty-three-years.  The only reason he was certain it was midnight was because he had become too familiar with the times at which his guards were swapped out for two new ones.  Their shifts were in six hour intervals.  Sometimes only three hours.  He could only guess at the circumstances that brought about the occasional change. Occasional holidays perhaps?  It did not matter.

 Mortals tend to have this lovely fantasy that time moves differently for creatures such as himself, being ageless and (for all intents and purposes) immortal.   If only that was that case…  If only he could blink and it would seem a century had passed.   No. Sadly, this fantasy was merely that, a fantasy.  As mortals age they perceive time differently from when they were children.   In childhood summers would seem to go on and on. As adults, however, whole decades seemed too short and so they imagine that is how time must be for immortals, an ever increasing sense that this or that passage of time was nothing to them. If only that was the case…

 No. He felt time. He felt time the way mortals do.  Time moved no differently for his kind as it does for mortals.  And in prison it crawled at a snail’s pace.  Perhaps it was even worse for him because, as the living embodiment of dreams, he usually did not sleep.  That meant the third of the day that human prisoners could escape their bonds by entering his world, he could do no such thing.  There was no relief.

       He sat on the floor of the crystalline cage they had placed around him.  The curved glass around him reminded him of a goldfish bowl or crystal ball.  How menacing the mortals managed to seem when looming over him outside of the crystal, where light and size were distorted from his quartz-crystal prison and shadows hung heavy over the glass.  

 Quartz crystal has innate power.   It can contain and confine magick.   It held him as surely as the binding circle around his cage.  They were clever to make his cage out of crystal.  Everyone knows most mineral and glass come from sand. Burnt and reshaped sand.  The thing that he used to sculpt dreams now worked as his cage.  

 He was hungry.  They had never thought to feed him and he was not about to ask.  He was far too proud for that.  And he would not give them the satisfaction to show them that he suffered for not eating.  It would not kill him but he still suffered for it.

He tried not to think about the hunger, that empty feeling gnawing within himself.  Eager to eat just about anything.  Even a baked potato would have been nice.  Do the English still bake potatoes? He wondered.  

He could imagine the taste.  The skin cooked so thoroughly that it was like parchment around the soft white inside that could be crushed by the pressing of a fork.  Flavored with salt, pepper, butter, sour cream.  Perhaps some mild cheddar cheese and crushed bacon.  He wasn’t one for heavy meals but this simple one that he imagined seemed divine.  He could practically taste it.  No. He would go mad if he let himself think about the hunger too long.   Try to think about something else…

 He thought of hob.  He thought of the smell of the Kerosene lamps and the candle wax in the late Victorian pub. The strange sense of warmth and that feeling that was the direct opposite of being lonely.  He missed that warmth.  That sensation of… not-lonely.  

He missed Hob…  

He thought of his own wounded pride.  The anger he had felt when Hob had suggested that they (Hob and Morpheus) were friends.   How foolish he had been to not return to Hob sooner.  Would he ever see his friend again?  

He longed to set things right- to do or say something subtle to admit Hob was right without actually saying the words that his pride did not want him to speak out loud.  He thought of the clever ways he could acknowledge that yes, they were, in fact, friends without uttering an apology or acknowledgement of being wrong.  He couldn’t dare admit, even to himself, that he was wrong.  And it was Hob’s own fault, wasn’t it?  He was the one who had to spoil things.  He was the one who had to go and poke at the situation and demand confirmation.  Why did he have to spoil it by making him have to call their situation a friendship?  

He missed him so much…

  Morpheus blinked.  He was no longer in the pub, storming away from Hob.  He could no longer taste the wine on his lips. His memories were as vivid and real to him as dreams are for most people.  It was as close as he could get to dreaming… remembering…

He was back in his cage.  Staring at the two guards just beyond the glass.  Last year there had been a different set of guards sitting there at this hour.  He had heard their names and he had known those previous guards as Bernie and Frank.

 There were usually two guards at a time watching him but one night Frank had to leave early. And so Bernie started to talk to him, which was surprising and different...

Both men had been stocky. Frank had black hair while Bernie had sandy blond hair.

 “Guess Velma’s finally popped.”  Bernie had said as if the woman was an over-inflated balloon.   He gave a short chuckle.

Was he talking to himself?  Morpheus had wondered.   He turned his head slightly at Bernie in a nonverbal acknowledgement of his presence.  

“Don’t know if you understand me but… you don’t look like you’re dangerous.  I mean no offense but you look like some scrawny kid.   I don’t care if you are some sort of space invader, they shoulda at least given you a blanket.  You’re human enough, even P.O.Ws get clothes.”

Space invader?  P.O.W? He raised an eyebrow. The man’s accent was American.

“You do understand, don’t you?  Look… I… Uh… I snatched the key from Burgess. I can get you out.  I’d thought about doing it before just… I don’t know if you drink blood suck the lives outa people…  I don’t know a damn thing about this…  But you don’t seem threatening. I could let you out…”

Morpheus had waited for the inevitable catch.

“God, I hope you’re not like the aliens in Wells’ Radio Broadcast.  I mean if keeping you here is the only thing stopping an invasion…”

Morpheus stared at the man blankly, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“Ah, who am I kidding?  You’ve been sitting in a glass box for decades.  I’m sure if there are Martians or Venusians or whatever that are anything like you we could take ‘em.  Just… Go back to wherever you came from, okay…  If you try anything I know I out-weigh you.  Hell, Old Roderick’s kitchen maid out-weighs you.  Alex’s cat out-weighs you.   The point is I could throw you down flat.”

 There was a cat?

 Morpheus stood up slowly.   Was this a trick?   Bernie slid the key into the lock of the cage and Morpheus saw the crystalline panel move for the first time.

“Come on.”  He said.

Morpheus stepped forward but stopped just before he reached the open door of the cage. He couldn’t pass the circle.  He looked down at it and then at Bernie.

Bernie looked confused.   “What’s wrong?  Don’t ya wanna-“  And then he let out an anguished groan.

Morpheus’ own eyes widened.

Bernie had clutched at his chest, staggering back as if on invisible puppet strings.  The old magus, Roderick Burgess, stood at the entrance to the cellar chamber.  As frail and aged as he was he still had magick.   Burgess’ hand clasped as if crushing something invisible.  Morpheus understood the magick involved.  He was crushing the poor man’s heart.

Bernie fell to the floor dead.  He almost looked asleep.  

 The new guards arrived a few hours later…  

 Morpheus blinked and he was back in the present and in the closed crystalline cage. And again he could feel the pain of gnawing and distracting hunger.  He was suddenly curious about Delirium’s cuisine. He had never had a cotton candy soup before… or typewriter flavored marmalade.  He tried not to think about his hunger…

 These new guards barely acknowledged him.  The novelty of his existence had long ago worn off and his strangeness helped stave away pity and help secure his non-human status.  From his bone-white skin and sold black eyes… They could see no humanity in him and so they showed no humanity toward him.  

 How much time had passed?  He could barely see the wristwatch of one of the two men watching him. They sat in folding chairs in front of the cage.  One reading a newspaper, the other reading a pulp novel.  It was exactly one minute after midnight…

 Patience…  

 Wait…

 Soon…

That patience and waiting would pay off on the night the wheel of a wheel chair breached the binding circle that held him.  With the circle breached he could enter the dream of one of his guards.  And then he was able to trick his keepers into opening his cage by pretending to faint within his cell.   It had been a long, long time coming but he was finally free.

Cat-Women of the Moon

That doesn’t sound like a real title, does it? It sounds like something somebody made up to make fun of dumb old science fiction movies, or at best like it should belong to a parody of such.  And yet, despite the snarky tone of its Wikipedia article (which reads like I could have written it), as far as I can tell Cat-Women of the Moon is totally in earnest.  It was produced by Al Zimbalist and scored by Elmer Bernstein, both of whom did the same jobs on Robot Monster.

A cartoon rocket blasts off for the moon, carrying – as per 50’s Movie Regulations – three or four lumpy middle-aged men and one pretty girl.  After a couple of the obligatory narrow escapes on the way, they manage to land successfully, and a mysterious cave leads them into an underground city where they are taken prisoner by telepathic cat-women!  The cat-women have trapped them by controlling the mind of Helen the navigator, and plan to steal the rocket ship and conquer the Earth.  Our manly heroes are immune to the mind control, but not to feminine wiles or the promise of caves full of gold.  The world’s only hope is that at least one of them can keep his head about him and save the day.

Cat-Women of the Moon is one of the movies that I suspect was considered for MST3K but ultimately rejected because it was too similar to another feature – in this case, to Fire Maidens of Outer Space. Besides having similarly ridiculous titles, both movies are about astronauts encountering the last survivors of an all-female advanced civilization, who want to use them as breeding stock. In both, the evil plan is undone when one of the alien women falls in love with one of the oafish Earthlings, and both contain a gratuitous dance sequence that does nothing but fill time.  Cat-Women of the Moon is actually slightly more interesting than Fire Maidens of Outer Space, mostly on account of an absolutely hilarious giant spider puppet, but it’s still two thirds over before we ever see a Cat-Woman.

It is impossible to overstate how cheap and shoddy this movie is.  There are moments when the sets almost fall apart as people move around on them – one astronaut almost knocks a piece of equipment over and just leaves it sitting there at an odd angle.  The rocket has roomy high ceilings and corrugated metal walls, with ham radio equipment sitting around on wooden tables and canvas space suits (with helmets that don’t match) stored in lockers that appear to have been stolen from a high school hallway.  The city of the Cat-Women appears to be made of bits and pieces stolen from five different Maciste movies, and a couple of those ‘Family Tree’ decorations you used to be able to buy at Hallmark.

And oh, man, that spider puppet.  My favourite thing is that it’s full-sized so that it can drop on Helen from above with all its totally limp limbs flailing.  I love it so much.  We never even find out what it’s doing there, either – it’s just a giant moon spider, because why the hell not?

About the only visual that works in the movie is the matte paintings, which are very nice, even when they don’t look very real. Some of the lunar landscapes are very realistic and the black and white photography adds to the verisimilitude.  Sadly, that’s about the only thing Cat-Women of the Moon gets right scientifically. There’s a weird moment where one guy uses a cigarette (yes, they brought cigarettes to the moon) to demonstrate… something.  Possibly the temperature difference between the day and night side of the moon.  When placed in the light, it bursts into flame, which is obviously impossible in a vacuum.  As if to drive the point home, not five minutes later they light a match (if you’re bringing cigarettes to the moon you obviously have to bring matches) to check if there’s oxygen!

The characters also note that there’s a difference in gravity between the surface of the moon, where they have to wear weighted boots, and the Cat-Women habitat.  But why would Lunar Cat-Women, who have supposedly lived on the Moon for two million years, want artificial Earth gravity?  What makes even less sense is that the Cat-Women, who have telepathic powers, resort to slap-fighting each other when they’re mad!  These women can teleport… surely if they want to kill somebody they can just make their heads explode by thinking at them too hard, no slapping or stabbing needed.

That brings us to the biggest and most obvious thing going on in this movie.  I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now – Cat-Women of the Moon absolutely despises women and it’s not even shy about it.

We’ve got Helen, who brushes her hair and does her makeup in orbit, and stands there screaming while the men beat the shit out of the giant spider with their fists.  She’s supposed to be a brilliant navigator but it turns out that was just the Cat-Women working through her.  The Cat-Women’s mind control powers work on women but not on men, and when Helen is in the arms of a man she truly loves, they lose control of her, too – as in The She-Creature, it is his male mine rather than her female one that is able to resist.

The man in question is of course not the Captain, who actually respects Helen, but the gun-toting jerk Kip.  There’s a bit where he manhandles her and tells her to stop complaining because “I’m not hurting you that much.”  The others aren’t much better, as one of them tells a Cat-Women, “you’re too smart for me, Baby – I like ‘em stupid.”  At least that guy dies.

The Cat-Women themselves are scheming bitches, except for sweet, innocent little Lambda, who decides to betray her entire civilization because she’s got a crush on Doug the radio operator.  This has been happening in stories since the Greek myth about Scylla, who betrayed her city after falling in love with the commander of an attacking army, and it’s been stupid for at least that long.  The men aren’t any better, either.  Kip and the Captain are fighting over Helen when the fate of the world is at stake.  When they manage to interrogate her while she’s not under Cat-Woman control, one of the first things they want to know is which of them she’s in love with!

The movie hates cats, too.  The inhabitants of the moon are Cat-Women not because they have tails and whiskers, but because they are cunning and underhanded, purring in your lap one moment and scratching your face off the next.  They say they want to be friends, but really they just want to use and discard you.

I guess stories like this represent men being afraid that women will realize they can do without them, and like Horrors of Spider-Island, it perhaps inadvertently implies that this is true. The Cat-Women were doing just fine at maintaining a peaceful civilization before these jerks from Earth showed up. Maybe we’re meant to think this is because the men can resist their telepathy – which is built on another nasty stereotype about women, the idea that they’re some kind of hive mind.  How many times have you heard somebody say ‘Women Think X’ or ‘Girls Like Y’, as if it’s genetic?  The Cat-Women, all in telepathic communication with each other, cannot help but agree about everything – and one she’s made contact with them, Helen becomes part of this collective mind whether she likes it or not.

Cat-Queen Alpha’s control over Helen is probably the most effective part of the story.  We know we can’t trust anything Helen says or even anything she thinks, and once the men realize this Alpha is able to use even their mistrust to her advantage.  Helen cannot even trust herself, as she observes when she realizes she should care if her crew-mates live or die, but does not. Not that it wouldn’t work way better if the cure for it weren’t twu wuv, but it’s a good idea as far as it goes.

Up to the last few minutes of the movie we’ve been building suspense, sometimes in fits and starts, but we do feel like something’s going to happen.  Alpha, Beta, and Helen have run off with the group’s space-suits, and the men are trying to catch up with them.  We’re expecting a fight for control of the rocket ship – and then Kip just pulls his gun and shoots Alpha and Beta off-screen, while Lambda dies tragically and Doug cradles her body.  It’s an anticlimax that just leaves the audience sitting there going, “that’s it?”  And yeah, the next thing that happens is the remaining guys and Helen get back on their rocket and head home, so that is it.

Cat-Women of the Moon is sort of lukewarm entertaining.  The shitty sets and stupid spider puppet are good for some laughs, but the movie’s sexual politics are obnoxious and its ending a huge disappointment.  I can’t recommend it to watch on its own, but it makes for good DIY riff material.  I’m sure Mike and the bots could have had great fun with it.

A Credible Threat

An interview between a human from Australia, and a highly credulous alien tasked with cataloging and rating potential threats and hazards throughout the galaxy. Derived loosely from a recent writing prompt I saw lurking Reddit. I don't post there, so here it is.

"We had a war with them, you know."

The human puts the "cigarette" to his mouth again. The smoke activates the extractors, which are calibrated to remove all toxins from the atmousphere almost as soon as they appear.  You scroll through your notes with one tentacle, looking for a mention of whom he's referring to.

"A war? With the...the large criminal faction typically referred to as 'The English', I presume? I understand your people were exiled from--"

The human interupts you with a harsh laugh, like the sounds made by the dogs you'd unsuccessfully tried to interview earlier in this experiment. You make a note to re-open the issue of whether these sounds may  constitute a spoken language after all.

"A 'criminal faction'! Ha, that's a good one! But Nah, mate. I didn't mean England. I mean the damn emus."

"...emus?"

"Emus." Ash falls from the glowing tip, and you nervously check your notes. Who let him have that thing? It must constitute some kind of hazard rating. The preliminary analysis from the lab decribes the item as 'a thin tube of bleached fibrous material containing dried plant matter of the Earth genus Nicotiana which has typically been impregnated with preservatives and other compounds. Nicotiana is very toxic in large enough doses, and alters neurochemical makeup with consistant exposure, but it is vanishingly difficult to expose oneself to these conditions unintentionally, particularly in a well-ventilated space. One end is hot when in use, but the items were judged largely harmless and placed in the lowest threat category.' Hm. Fine. Doesn't seem right, but the lab technicians generally know what they're doing.

"Expand on this, please."

"They're bloody emus! What else is there to say?! You mean to tell me you guys went cruising around in your little UFO grabbing up randos from all over Australia--"

"We  actually took samples from an evenly distributes pattern of points across the surface of your world."

"And NONE of them told you about emus?!"

"No."

The human snorted and shakes his head. You enter a few notes, waiting for him to continue, and when he doesn't, you do.

"You are the first subject to mention them. Frankly, the first to mention war with an non-human animal at all, and I can't say I'm not suspicious of your claims."

"Suspicious? Mate, it's just how the place is. First thing people think of when they think of Australia."

"The Galactic Travel Guide is familiar with many of Earth's most dangerous predators outside of yourselves. We've heard about the lions. We've heard about the hippos, and how they're actually much more dangerous than the lions. We've heard quite a lot about the moose. We've even heard of your screaming, spitting black and white geese. We've even heard of the small population of flightless dragons with necrotic saliva.  But the idea of creatures such as these attempting to make war on the dominant sapients of the planet--"

"It was a little more than an attempt, mate," the human muttered.

"You don't mean to suggest--"

"Yeah. Yeah, they won."

"..."

"Twice."

"Is it something about your treatment aboard ship that makes you so obstructionist in these interviews? You know that if you simply answer our questions about the hazards your species navigate on your planet, we will return you to your home. Most of our other samples have completed this task, been mindwiped of the experience, and returned to their normal lives."

"Nah, the food's great. The room's comfortable. I'm not 'obstructionist'. I'm just tellin' you what's out there."

"And what else is there?"

"Kangaroos."

"Go on."

"Long tail. They can stand on it a little. Hops along on its back feet as fast as a car, but can't move backwards. Massive, vicious sharp claws too. Tall as a man, almost, and punches like a freight train. And they breed pretty fast, enough they're pests in some parts."

"Pests as in, an animal populous enough to cause damage to human settlements?"

"Yeah, they put up special fences in some places to keep them out."

"Fortifications?! Just for these creatures?!"

"We also got'em for crocodiles."

"We've heard of them before, from a subject in..." you check your notes, "Egypt."

"Ours are bigger. And meaner. World famous for it, really."

"So you say."

"And I bet that guy didn't tell you the kicker about crocodiles. If you're looking for a threat rating, well... See, they just...keep growing. Most of them come in at an average size, but sometimes there's one....as long as they have enough food to support themselves, they literally never stop growing, AND they don't age like you and m--well, like me. So they could hypothetically get to be older than dirt and bigger than a bus if you fed 'em enough."

"Right. Moving on. Setting aside macrofauna, how would you describe the toxicology profile of your land? Insects, plant and fungal life, etc?"

"Extensive! World famous for that too!"

"Of course you are."

"It's not all bad. Some of our animals carry their babies inside--"

"Yes, we're aware of the ordeal that is mammallian reproduction and would thank you not to bring it up."

"No no, the marsupials. Like the kangaroos. The babies are born as just this tiny fetus that crawls by itself into its mother's pocket until its got hair and stuff."

"So now you're saying the kangaroos wear clothes?"

"No, the pocket is in the skin."

"For Glob's sake, if you think I'm such a fool that I'd enter this in the GTG databases--which 100's of bargillions of S'zezdars rely on for their very lives as they attempt to avoid the many deadly threats in the galaxy--"

"Can't be that deadly out there, if you're this scared of kangaroos."

The thick mane of barbed spines down your back rattled against each other as they rose up straight--"like a porcupine" a different human subject had said. You were starting to lose patience.

"Human." you said with a measured firmness that made the human pause and look warily at you, shifting eye contact between your various ocular organs as they bulged, pulsing with pale yellow light. "What the GTG does may seem silly to you, or pedantic, or useless. To be quite frank, this is because you as a species live on a tiny ball of spittle and haven't even been to the bottoms of your own oceans yet. Out here, in the vastness of all space, where the species like us who have earned the privilege, this is a literal matter of life and death. Living, thinking, sapient being in numbers that your species literally can't comprehend depend on accurate up to date information on the unimaginable array of threats that await them off-world."

"Mate, I'm sorry, I'm really not here to condescend. I'm actually trying to help you."

With a conscious effort, you pull your spines back down into a relaxed position. They make a single simultaneous clacking sound, like an old mechanical lockbox.

"Then please give my work the gravity it deserves."

The human put the "cigarette" in his mouth again, and exhaled thoughtfully., giving you a curious look.

"...so, uh. I take that means you don't wanna hear about the platypus?" You're about done with this subject. He's been holding up the experimental process for days. His claims get more and more outlandish and obtuse with each interview. Clearly you're not going to get accurate information about this subject's natural environment from the subject himself. An away mission will be necessary to verify details first hand.

Your tentacles flex and curl nervously. But what if what he said was true, or at least had a grain of truth to it? You consider it for a moment and discard the idea. If the location were really that dangerous, they would be downplaying it to exaggerate their own power over such a hostile environment. Clearly they're doing the opposite, trying to exaggerate the danger. Or more likely, fabricate dangers completely. He must know the land has no natural defenses and doesn't want to be overrun by hostile Galactic faction. Or maybe they just want adventure tourist dollars--this is for a travel guide after all. You decide in an instant that you're calling his bluff here and now. 

Either way, this subject is being ejected from the study post-haste. You release the thin panel of a screen you'd been taking notes on, and grasp the microphone of the voice COM in your desk firmly among your suckers.

"Guard." you say flatly. A heavily armed and armoured S'zezdar slithers into the room immediately. "Take this one for mindwiping and send him home. We're going to have to check out the local flora and fauna on the surface ourselves." You distantly worried about the tongues-lashing your supervisor would give you about it, and about how you handled this subject in general, but getting out on an away mission again would be worth it.

The guard looked surprised.

"Without even a preliminary threat rating for the area?"

"Don't worry. I'm expecting no problems at all."

The guard grabbed the human by one of his upper appendages. The other appendage crushed the synthetic foam filter of his "cigarette" device into the table. The human didn't resist as the guard pulled him up out of the chair. Instead, the human stretched out its mouth. Sideways. You almost feel like it could reach his ears if he tried. You've seen no record of this facial expression in humans. You don't like it. It shows too many teeth.

"A'right, bye then, mate. Good talkin' to ya..." The human... (you cast about for the word for a moment) laughs. As the guard drags him to the medical bay, he calls back once more over his shoulder.

"Good luck with the emus!"

Dragon Ball Z 020

This is the Knife Lady episode.    I mean, there’s other stuff in this one, but come on.    I’m not gonna bury the lede here.

Okay, so last time, Goku had to get used to the higher gravity on King Kai’s planet, so King Kai had him chase Bubbles around until he could catch him.    The last episode made it look like it only took one afternoon, but in this episode the narrator says it took him like three weeks, which seems fishy to me.   I feel like Toei messed up, one way or another.   Of course, there’s really no good way to mark the passage of time on this planet, so there’s no telling. 

Anyway, the Bubbles exercise was in the manga.   This time however, it’s a filler episode, and Goku’s next challenge is to chase a cricket-looking creature named Gregory.   Gregory is a filler guy, but he appears in just about every King Kai scene from here on out.   It’s weird how seamlessly they worked him in, and then you read the manga and he’s just not there.  

King Kai says that the idea here is to improve Goku’s speed under the high gravity, so I’m pretty sure the only thing different about this exercise is that Gregory is faster than Bubbles.   Also, Goku has to hit him with a big heavy hammer, which will only slow him down more.  What could go wrong?

Yeah...

Meanwhile, on Earth, Gohan’s still improving under Piccolo’s training, but he gets knocked down a cliff anyway, and Piccolo orders him to climb back up.   For some reason he starts shouting random nouns at Piccolo and tells him to do the next one.   I guess this is some sort of game? 

On Kami’s Lookout, everyone has to wear weighted training clothes like Kami made Goku wear.    Krillin looks awesome in his, Yamcha looks a little off, and Tien and Chiaotzu look really weird.  

Why are they letting Chiaotzu take a breather?  

Yajirobe bites Krillin on the ass.  Hey, save that for the Saiyans, tiger.

Later, Kami just tells the boys to leave and pursue their own training down below.  This whole thing feels like a total ripoff.   They had a year to prepare for the Saiyans and it took like four months just to get everyone up here, and then he tells him he won’t teach them anything, and now he’s sending them back with like three months to go.

Elsewhere, Master Roshi asks his sister, Fortuneteller Baba to look into the future and tell him how things turn out after the Saiyans arrive.   Baba gives it a go, but she can’t forsee anything, good or bad.   In the dub, she tells him “The Earth has no future!” which I always liked because it completely flies in the face of what she foresaw in the finale of Dragon Ball, when she peeked ahead to DBZ.   Things looked pretty rosy before, but now all bets are off.    The fate of the world is balancing on the head of a pin.  

Okay, that covers all the other stuff, let’s go back to Goku.    King Kai has them all break for lunch, and these two guys look adorable.   Not sure why Bubbles is wearing a hat... oh, wait, yes I do know.    While Goku was chasing Gregory one of them zipped right over the back of his head and shaved a stripe up his scalp, so he must be wearing the hat to cover it up.  

Goku asks King Kai what he knows about the Saiyans, on account of he is one, and he’s fighting two more later, so he kind of needs to know all he can.    King Kai offers to tell him the story, so Goku pulls up a chair for him.

This whole account was filler, so some of it has been retconned or just plain contradicted over the years, but it still forms the basis of a lot of Saiyan lore.   For example, this episode introduces the Tuffles as a second intelligent species that shared Planet Vegeta with the Saiyans.   The Tuffle concept would be used later in the OAV “Plan to Eradicate the Super Saiyans” as well as the Baby arc in Dragon Ball GT.   

What never seemed to catch on, on the other hand, was the idea that the Tuffles were much smaller than Saiyans (or humans for that matter) due to the intense gravity of the planet.   The implication here is that the Saiyans are only as big as they are because they’re so strong, although I think later sources established that they emigrated to this planet from somewhere else.    At any rate, the Tuffle characters in GT and “Plan to Eradicate” always looked full-sized to me.  

Basically, the Tuffles ruled most of the planet, and they had all sorts of advanced technology to sustain their larger population.  

On the other hand, the Saiyans lived in primitive dwellings, with a smaller territory and a smaller population.

King Kai’s flashback also puts them all in animal skins.   They sort of look like a cross between B-movie cavemen and artwork depicting early figures from the Bible.   

Here’s Knife Lady again.   She doesn’t do anything, but she looks awesome, and this episode is really the first solid evidence that female Saiyans existed.   That may seem silly to younger or newer fans, but I’ll bet there were a lot of fans in 1989 who figured female Namekians were going to show up, and that got shot to hell.   You just never know.

At some point, the Saiyans got strong enough or bold enough to start attacking the Tuffles outright.  Again, note the size difference.

The Tuffles invented weapons to fight back, so they weren’t completely helpless.   I always find this guy kind of ironic, because he looks a lot like Gohan in the Buu Saga, and he’s wearing a scouter, so he looks way more like a Saiyan than a Tuffle here.   I think the intent was to suggest that the Saiyans got their scouters from the Tuffles, but that won’t hold up in future episodes.   Besides, how could the Saiyans make use of Tuffle scouters?  They would be too small to wear.

The problem for the Tuffles was that the Saiyans would turn into giant apes at the sight of the full moon.   This only happened once every eight years on Planet Vegeta, but it was often enough to turn the tide of the war.

Now, I feel like a dope, because this is the first time I ever watched this story in the original Japanese, and I see now that a lot of things were different when the story was translated to English.   The dub implied a relatively short war, lasting maybe a few years, or a generation at most, and ending on a single full moon.   The Japanese version tells of a much longer transition from Tuffle to Saiyan rule, with the Tuffles barely able to hold the line and the Saiyans steadily gaining ground every eight years.   This makes it sound like it took a long time for the Saiyans to take control of the planet, and that would explain the fuzzy booties, among other things.   I always found King Kai’s story a little unsatisfying for only covering the last decade or so of Saiyan history, but it looks like he was actually going back a little further than that.

Also interesting: the term “Arcosian” was a dub-ism.   I just always took it for granted that these robed aliens had a name in the Japanese script, but they don’t.   Fans have adopted “Arcosian” as a name for Frieza’s species, although the terms “Ice-jin”, and “Frost Demon” have also been used, along with others I’m probably not aware of.    It makes sense, seeing as how these “Arcosians” are basically doing in this flashback what Frieza and King Cold actually did.   

On the other hand, now that I see the context of this flashback, I start to wonder if it makes more sense for the Saiyans to have overrun the Tuffles a long time ago.   Let’s say 100 years before Goku’s birth.   These robed aliens gave them the means to travel further into space, and the Saiyans operated as an independent kingdom for a while until they finally fell under King Cold’s influence.   I’m not sure how well that gels with some of the other lore, but I think I like that better, since it gives Saiyan history a chance to breathe.   It always irked me how they beat the Tuffles and got taken over by Frieza almost immediately.

The biggest flaw in King Kai’s tale is the part where he explains the destruction of Planet Vegeta, which Raditz attributed to meteors.   King Kai says this was done by the Kami of Planet Vegeta, as a way to punish the Saiyans for their evil deeds.   You’d think he would have stepped in a lot sooner, back when the Saiyans were killing all the Tuffles, but better late than never.  

Really, the idea of the Saiyans falling victim to divine justice was a cool idea, but the problem is that it suggests that King Kai really knows what happened here, and as we’ll later learn, he has no clue.   But Toei has him speaking with great authority on this subject, like he witnessed this happening.  

On the other hand, this is sort of true.    According to Battle of Gods, Beerus chose to have Planet Vegeta destroyed, and he tasked Frieza with doing so.  Who’s to say that Beerus didn’t ask Planet Vegeta’s Kami to handle it first, and then he went to Frieza when the Kami botched the job?

King Kai also states that only four Saiyans survived the planet’s destruction, which again sounds kind of weird because it implies that he went and counted them personally, except he ended up being wrong.   I’m not trying to nitpick here, I’m just saying that this can be the trouble with filler scenes.   The writers need to leave themselves a little wiggle room in case things get changed later.    Essentially, King Kai is just reinforcing everything that Raditz said in Episode 2.   Well, Raditz can be misinformed, but it’s a little off for King Kai to have his facts wrong. 

Anyway, Goku gets all fired up and wants to get back to his training right away.

He catches Gregory and gives him a little tap on the head.   Gregory brags that he’s tougher than Goku gives him credit for...

... but he’s still got a bump on his head.

King Kai is encouraged by Goku’s rapid progress, and believes that Goku might be good enough to learn the Kaio-ken, a technique so advanced that it’s just a theory he invented.   And he has another technique even cooler than that, but we’ll learn about that one another time.

Fanfic -- A Temporal Folly -- CHAPTER 5

Fandom: Queen Genre: Sci-fi/Horror Rating: R Chapter Title: Detached (Chapter Five) Word Count: 2265 (oops!) Chapter Summary: Same thing, with 100% more Roger! 

How we all mourn the broken Holding onto the slimmest ledge Our fingers slipping by the second Drawn to the inexorable truth That to change the fates of the never-ending masses Is to destroy the fabric that binds us all

2019

Roger crashed into his vanity, upended his chair, then fell to the floor. Winded, he fought against gravity to regain his feet, momentarily blanking on the logistics of up and down; in the end, he succeeded only in rolling onto his side.

What was he doing in his dressing room?

He was too fucking old for this shit!

Roger would admit that, unlike Brian (whose feet were firmly on good ol' Terra Firma), he often had his head in the clouds and had no qualms about breathing the vapors. So he wasn't surprised when his mind skipped past every logical explanation like dreams or hallucinations and went straight to alien abduction as an assured reality. It sure felt how he imagined an alien abduction would go, although the completely empty dressing room unnerved him a bit, and the blue light oozing out of the walls like a thoroughly squeezed snail was an odd touch. Had he acquired the good shit?

It said a lot about him that his second guess was "drugs," Roger supposed.

"Right. Up on the feet then," he told himself. Now that the initial shock had worn off, he reintroduced himself to the concept of three dimensions and peeled himself off the floor. His joints popped and cracked in protest.

As he tried to regain his bearings, he squinted at the weird gecko-like beast, stuck by its little spade-toes up in the farthest corner of Roger's dressing room. As calmly as he accepted his alien abduction, he took this in stride, only partly because his very brain seemed to have short-circuited. The rest was because he kinda hoped he'd made first contact before his dear friend and space nerd, Brian May. Wouldn't that just rankle!

"Where are your eyes?" Roger inquired at the toxic blue creature. It grinned with a maw full of sharp, irritating teeth.

In answer, it shuffled toward him, hissing like a leaky tire. Alas, it seemed he'd have to fight the thing. So much for peaceful first contact! How could he possibly fight this cow-sized creature, though, with its lack of eyes and weird suction-cup toes and its feral, white-rimmed grin?

He did what any blue-blooded Brit would do. He bunched it square in the mouth.

The thing was fast. In the blink of an eye, it had Roger's arm crushed between its teeth. He tried to cry out, but the creature already had itself wrapped around him; consequently, the only sound he could produce was a less-than-intimidating squeak. Every time he gasped, the creature constricted tighter.

---

Witness. ---

1993

The alarm buzzed. John reached over and snoozed it.

Five minutes later, the radio started playing Sinatra, despite John ripping out the FM transmitter just the night before. Grabbing the entire clock-radio, he launched it across the hotel room, where it shattered against a mirror.

Then, for good measure, he sat up in bed and gave the lamp a good solid kick. He'd be billed for it, and probably even kicked out of the hotel. Maybe he'd sleep in a ditch tonight for the thrill of it. None of that mattered, though, since he'd wake up in the same bed, at the exact same time, annoyed once again by Come Fly With Me through a tinny, sub-standard speaker. He glanced at his watch.

"Three. Two. One." As he pointed at the door, somebody rapped on it and called "Room service!" "Fuck off!" John growled.

He'd seen Groundhog Day back in his own Theta-Universe just before traversing the portal. The coincidence wasn't lost on him. Who knew such a temporal anomaly wouldn't be caused by driving off a cliff, but by mucking about in the past!

The most annoying thing was that he couldn't write anything down, because everything would disappear when the day started over. Infuriating! He had so many questions, and limited memory with which to remember them, or their answers.

"What is this," he grumbled, sliding out of bed. "Sixty? Seventy? A thousand?"

Every morning, he made a tick on the wall. The next day, of course, it was gone.

It was at least sixty, though. He knew that. And in those sixty days, he'd pursued every opportunity to speak to Freddie, but this universe's version was reclusive and distrustful. Once, frustrated with the lack of positive response, John tried to drag him off so they could talk, and ultimately ended up in jail.

It didn't matter. By then, he knew he'd wake up the next morning safe in the hotel bedroom.

Today would be different, though, John mused as he brushed his teeth. Humming a cheerful ditty that was definitely not Sinatra, he pulled the hairdryer out of its wall holster and used it to smash the mirror. If his actions didn't matter, if everything would reset in 24 hours, why shouldn't he take out his frustrations on inanimate structures? He spit the toothpaste out in the middle of the floor. "It's a glitch," he told himself. John often spoke to himself now, since he had no friends in this universe. He technically didn't exist in it, which meant no one recognized him, which meant he had no friends. "We fucked up the code. It was too much. We shouldn't have--" Today would be different.

Over the past few weeks--relatively speaking--John worked on finding the key to fixing everything. By the very nature of time-space, the machine he and his other self built also had to exist in this world. He should have entered into the Iota-Universe at the machine's location, but the glitch interfered and spat him out elsewhere. After triangulating all possible points of interest, he found it in the basement of an abandoned school only a half mile away from the hotel. The proximity made sense. And if he was right, which he'd find out today, the location of the machine, the hotel, and Freddie would create a perfect line.

That revelation didn't matter much before, but now it made sense. It was the continuum trying to correct itself, pointing the way to solve the problem. If John could get Freddie to the machine, his presence would act as a battery, activating it and allowing everyone to go home. He had to. At this point, he teetered just on the verge of madness. Living the same day over and over couldn't have been healthy for anyone.

--- Today, he'd try a different tactic. Today... Today it would work.

It was sad in a way, how meeting up with Freddie had become routine. The first few times John saw he old friend, he couldn't even approach for the tears in his eyes. And Freddie looked so whole and healthy. Standing in the presence of Queen's legendary singer made John's heart soar!

But while this Freddie had similar mannerisms and a rather sizable ego, he was reclusive, bitter, and almost hopeless. In the rare occasion John managed to find the right combination of words and platitudes to get this version of Freddie to talk, every word dripped with regret and bile. After Queen failed, Freddie's life folded in on itself. He repressed his sexuality. Settled down with Mary. Lived miserably.

John had doubts about taking this Freddie back to the Theta-Universe, but he still waited in the same park every morning just to catch a glimpse of his old friend. Sometimes they'd talk. Sometimes they'd fight. Today, John intended to test his theory on the machine.

At eleven o'clock and four minutes, Freddie sauntered past the park fountain.

As casually as he could, John pushed himself off the bench, falling into step just behind Freddie. He tried his best to act as if he had somewhere to go and just happened to be traveling in the same direction.

Astute, though, Freddie glanced over his shoulder. "Are you following me, darling?"

Every day the same question.

"Yes, actually," John replied. Before Freddie could get angry, though, he regurgitated a bit of trivia Freddie gave him just a couple days prior: "I saw you at the Itherian last night. You sing, right? Was that you?"

Yesterday, the spiel was too desperate and overstated. Today, John reined in his anxiety and evened his tone.

It worked. Freddie's face lit up, every trace of doubt vanishing. "Hey, yeah! I don't remember seeing you there."  

Damn. A new variable. He could ruin the entire day if he answered wrong. Crossing his fingers in his pocket for luck, he tried, "Oh, I don't like to be around people. I kinda stay toward the back when I go to those things."

"There were only eight people there, dear," Freddie replied, arching an eyebrow.

"Eight too many," John muttered, trying his best to let his anxiety float to the surface.

"Oh, you've got it bad, haven't you? Poor dear. Well, did you like the set?"

If John continued along this conversational path, Freddie would ask which song John liked the best, and John had no answer for that. At that point, Freddie would see right through him and the day would be a wash. "Loved it," he said. And before Freddie could ask the wrong question, he quickly added, "I actually have a little place in the basement of an old school just down the block. I could use a regular. You want to see?"

Was that too creepy? It sounded too creepy. He'd have to work on his delivery for tomorrow.

To his surprise, though, Freddie said "Lead the way!"

---

"Interesting that you had to break the lock," Freddie grunted as John led him down the steps. Every one of them creaked underfoot with a squeal that sounded like each board was about to snap in half. Had they been that loud the other times John came down here? They must have been. He was just nervous and his senses were playing tricks on him.

"Ah, it's a work in progress," John said, whisking the dust-discolored sheet off the machine. His heart hammered as he turned to Freddie, who was staring at the contraption with a mix of disgust and curiosity.

"Is this what you intend to use for music?" Freddie asked. "Good God, is that a broken television set?"

"Actually, the truth is..." John fiddled with the dials, clicking the calibration from 6-2-5 to 6-2-6. It should have turned it on, which would give a heaping portion of credence to John's story. Shifting the sub-space translator node into the low-mid position, he said a quick prayer...

Please work. Please work. Dryly, Freddie scoffed, "Did you build this yourself?" as nothing at all occurred. "It's liable to belch dust before it creates music."

"I'm gonna explain, I promise. It's just that I'm from an alternate universe..." The truth slipped past his lips has he re-calibrated, trying 6-7-6 instead. Normally, that would be too high, especially with the translator node where it was. Maybe too high was just right for the Iota-Universe, though? "I was going to show you--hoping to take you back... There's this place where Queen made it, Freddie."

"Oh dear," Freddie drawled.

"Give me a minute," John snapped.

It had to work. It had to!

"How do you know about Queen?" Freddie asked. John briefly looked over his shoulder, to find Freddie peering down his nose. "I've not told anyone about the name. You've been breaking into my house. Looking at my sketches!"

The stray thought that this Freddie was also paranoid touched on John's thoughts as he tried to troubleshoot. "No, you must have told me--"

"I don't even know you!"

John sighed, resigning himself to another failure. He could try another approach tomorrow, of course. And the next day if he had to. And then the day after that. He started to wonder if perhaps he'd have to rebuild the machine! That'd give him an excuse to see if remaining awake for multiple days in a row would allow him to move past the same stretch of twenty-four hours, but was it worth the trouble?

He wasn't sure he liked this Freddie.

As John fiddled with the calibration, something slammed into the side of his head. The force caused him to spin around in a half circle and collapse onto the dead machine. As he lost consciousness, Freddie raised the two-by-four in his hands for another attack...

That was the first time John died.

Then his alarm buzzed.

"Ow," John grumbled. Sitting up and kicking off his sheets, he rubbed his unbruised temple, gritting his teeth. Though the pain was gone, the memory caused more than a couple tears.

He never bothered Freddie again.

---

2019

Roger could no longer struggle. Though his lungs reflexively tried to suck in just the barest hint of oxygen, he could no longer breathe. Though not one for giving up, he had to admit that this was over.

All he could think about was how wrong it felt to see that glimpse into John's mistake. How could he possibly have lived the same day over and over without going insane?

And Freddie...

That monster wasn't Freddie.

You wasted your time, Deaky, Roger lamented. You should have stayed.

You have witnessed,

the creature said, squeezing Roger tighter and tighter until his ribs cracked and snapped. Choking with pain, Roger's vision closed in until the lack of oxygen dragged him into a surprisingly peaceful demise.

Stanswap AU Part 34

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30

Part 31 Part 32 Part 33

Here it is, the last chapter! Special thanks to @digikate813 and @eregyrn-falls for consistently reading and reblogging, along with anyone else who ever reblogged this story, it’s because of you that this story has spread. Thanks to @blaiddraws and @hntrgurl13 for drawing fanart (even if I did commission hntrgurl13, still grateful) and of course thanks to @busket because even if our AUs were developed independently, I still took a lot of inspiration from them and their way awesome art.

Speaking of which, this chapter draws a lot of inspiration from these posts.

Chapter 34: Hero Complex

The house was still in one piece when the kids got back. There was no evidence whether the shield spell was still holding or not, but they were all just happy to find a familiar structure to hide out in. They were about to open the door when they all heard something inside. Dipper picked up a golf club that'd been sitting on the porch, Wendy pulled out her crossbow, Mabel readied her grappling hook, and Soos took a karate stance.

“Yaaaaah!” The four friends yelled as they kicked the door open.

“Yaaaaah!” A ragtag group of townsfolk and magical creatures from the woods led by Stan yelled, ready to defend their turf.

“Wait, Stan!?” Dipper and Mabel gasped when they realized who it was.

“Kids!?” Stan disengaged the weapons system in his prosthetic, “I can't believe it! I thought I'd lost you two!”

The three of them shared a happy reunion hug. Tears flowed more freely than at least two of them would care to admit. Wendy and Soos soon joined in the hug. Even if they didn't know Stan all that well, it was still nice to see a friend after everything that had happened.

“It's good to have you knuckleheads back.” Stan said as he finally broke away from the hug.

“Why… what's everyone doing here?” Dipper asked as he surveyed the room. There were Candy and Grenda, dressed like Mad Max cosplayers, and Pacifica, who was wearing a pillowcase or something, and the Multibear, who was wearing an eye-patch on his main head, along with some gnomes, a manotaur, and the boy band Sev’ral Timez.

“Welcome to the survivors’ club.” Stan shrugged.

“Whaaa?” The kids asked.

“Eyebat!!” A gnome cried before anyone could explain. Everyone in the house scrambled to put out all the lights and close all the shutters and curtains. Dipper and Mabel couldn't help but peek outside between some blinds. Sure enough, an eyebat was flapping around outside. The sweeping beam of its paralysing gaze was stopped by a shimmering pink shield the moment it looked towards the house.

“So the shield is still working!” Dipper observed.

“Grunkle Stan, how'd this happen?” Mabel asked once the eyebat passed.

“Well, after seein’ my brother turned to gold and thinkin’ Dipper here’d been eaten, I didn't know what else to do except come back here. That's when I ran into possum breath here” Stan jabbed a mechanical thumb towards McGucket, “leading a group of stragglers through the woods. They needed a place to stay, so I took 'em all in and made myself chief. Plan is to stay here and live off Ford's food storage long as we can. Then I vote we eat the gnomes.”

“Hey, I'm short, not deaf!!” Jeff protested.

“Grunkle Stan, we can't just hide out here, there's a town in need of saving!” Dipper protested.

“Look, kiddo, we’ve got a good deal here.” Stan explained. “It ain’t ideal, I know, but we’ve got everything we need in here. A lot of these guys may look like monsters, but they’re actually pretty nice. Bear-bear here even knows Shiatzu!”

“Yes, I’ve been taking some classes.” The multi-bear nodded.

“We can stay here where it’s safe as long as we need to.”

“Grunkle Stan, you don’t actually think if we wait it out long enough Bill will just go away!?” Mabel was scandalized.

“Yeah, what happened?” Dipper asked, “Before you were all about taking the fight to Bill and not waiting a second, and now you just wanna hole up inside as long as you can?”

“Look what trying to fight Bill got us!” Stan snapped, “I wasted my only shot, that shazbot took my know-it-all brother as a literal trophy, and until you kids showed up on the doorstep a moment ago, I thought you all were dead! At least in here we can live some sort of life, out there all that’s waiting for us is death or worse!”

“But… what about our families?” Soos asked quietly.

Stan didn’t have an answer for that. He just looked away, but as his eyes swept across the room, he saw almost everyone wore the same expression: worry for their loved ones. Not long before the kids had showed up, they’d picked up a broadcast on the TV from inside the Fearamid, where they saw most everyone in Gravity Falls frozen in stone and stacked into a throne for Bill.

“Guys, don’t you see?” Mabel encouraged them as she climbed to the top of the stairs where everyone could see her, “Our friends need us, but we can only save them if we fight back!”

“Mabel’s right!” Dipper joined her, “Bill wants us to run and hide. He wants us to think he’s invincible, but Ford told me before he was turned to gold he knows Bill’s secret weakness!”

“Yeah, and then his oh-so-special research Journals were destroyed.” Stan scoffed. “We got no leads kid. I spent twelve years tryin’ to fight against Bill, and never heard nothin’ about any ‘secret weakness’.”

“Then we’ll rescue him!” The boy exclaimed, “If Ford’s the only one who knows about Bill’s weakness then we’ll have to get it from him! If we all work together, we might be able to save Gravity Falls!”

Everyone cheered, except Stan, who still seemed skeptical. “And how d’you plan on doin’ that? This is the only place where we’re safe, and it’s not like we can carry the shield spell around with us.”

“W-whoa! Holey Hootenanny! Flapjacks an’ Tiddlywinks!” McGucket suddenly burst out, his knee bouncing up and down as he thumped his foot against the floor. “Sorry, sorry,” He said sheepishly as everyone stared at him. “Just got excited is all. But I got an idea hows about we can fight Bill an’ rescue Ford! But I’ll need all’a y’all’s help!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa people, let’s not forget who’s in charge here!” Stan snorted indignantly, “I’ve been on the run from that psycho for the better part of twelve years, and now you want me to just waltz up to the guy’s front door?”

“Grunkle Stan, I’m sure we’re not gonna just walk up to the Fearamid,” Mabel assured him, “Just hear McGucket out!”

“No! There’s no way I’m leaving this house!”

Stan was not particularly happy to hear the plan involved literally taking the house to Bill. Sure, it seemed like a good idea on paper. If the only thing protecting them from Bill was attached to the house, it made sense to bring the house with them. But turning the place into a giant fighting robot!? That was just ridiculous! Nevermind the dimension he’d visited with actual fifty-foot fighting treehouse robots. He was pretty sure that was a spectator sport, and not for actual combat. Certainly not for fighting against the all-powerful ruler of the nightmare realm.

Still, as they began cutting holes in the walls and using leftover parts from the portal to build actual working giant robot arms and legs, Stan began to think this might actually work. Not that he’d ever admit that to anyone.

He’d nearly lost it when people started leaving the safety of the shield spell to try and raid more stuff they needed from outside, but so far everyone who had left for the junkyard and the amber mines had come back safely.

Now the “Shacktron”, as Soos had dubbed it after a comment on the house’s state by Pacifica, was nearly complete, and everyone was enjoying a bonfire as Mabel passed out sweaters, celebrating all they’d already accomplished and what they hoped to accomplish tomorrow.

“Uhg, I go through all this trouble to keep these survivors safe, and they’re gonna risk it all; for what? The chance that Stanford might know Bill’s weakness?” Stan complained to the only person who would listen to him, an ugly gnome who didn’t say much. “It’s a load of… of…” Stan searched his considerable vocabulary of alien swears for an appropriate phrase.

“Shmebulock!” The gnome exclaimed.

“Yeah! It’s a load of Shmebulock!” the old con man agreed. But his rage quickly died into a sigh. “It’s my own fault though. We wouldn't have to go save my brother if I hadn’t talked him into confrontin’ Bill right away in the first place. ...Bill wouldn’t even be in our dimension if my brother hadn’t opened that portal for me….”

“Grunkle Stan, is something wrong?” Mabel asked as she and Dipper suddenly walked into his field of vision. Stan jumped. He was losing his touch in his old age, he hadn’t even noticed they were there.

“Wh-bu-pft-I’m not-- I’m fine!” He spluttered. “How long have you kids been standin’ there listenin’ to me mouth off?”

“We just saw you acting grumpier than usual and wanted to make sure everything’s ok.” Mabel shrugged.

“It’s this plan to save my stupid brother!” Stan harrumphed. “I’ve been working hard to keep everybody safe, and what thanks do I get? Nothin’! But maybe he knows somethin’ about stoppin’ Bill, and suddenly everybody’s ready to risk their lives to save him. No matter what I do, it’s always ‘Stan’s the screw-up, Ford’s the hero’.”

Dipper frowned. He’d heard what Stan was saying to Shmebulock before. “Grunkle Stan, you’re not a screw up. This isn’t your fault any more than it is Mabel’s. Bill tricked you, because that’s what he does! Of course you wanted to come home! Of course you wanted to try anything to stop Bill as quickly as possible! And yeah, things went wrong, but that doesn’t mean you should hide away and beat yourself up for it! We have a chance to fix things now, and yeah, it’s risky, but at least there’s a chance that we’ll be able to save the world, instead of just accepting that this is the way things are now!”

“Yeah!” Mabel agreed, “Besides, you love risk!”

Stan gave a fond sigh and hugged the two of them. “Heh, alright, you kids’ve convinced me. I’ll get on board with Project: Long Odds. Whatever you want me to do, just ask.”

“Yes!” Mabel cheered, “Trust me, guys, tomorrow's gonna be great! We’ll save Grunkle Ford, and then you won’t have to worry about him anymore!”

“What, tch, I’m… I’m not worried about him!” Stan protested, crossing his arms and looking away. “I only care about finding a way to stop Bill, and that know-it-all is our best bet.”

Mabel and Dipper rolled their eyes. “Sure, Grunkle Stan.”

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t feel anything beyond the pain jolting through him. He couldn’t see anything beyond the burning blue light blinding him. He couldn’t hear anything beyond the ragged screaming that he no longer recognized as his own. He couldn’t smell anything beyond the crackling ozone. He couldn’t taste anything beyond the metallic tang that he didn’t have the presence of mind to realize was probably his own blood. This was his world. He knew nothing else.

Then, mercifully, it stopped, and his brain started ticking again. His thoughts and feelings slowly trickled back. He was Stanford Pines, the last one standing between Bill Cipher and destroying the rest of the universe outside of Gravity Falls. He couldn’t break. He couldn’t tell Bill what he wanted to know. He couldn’t let the demon into his mind. He could feel the manacles digging into his skin. He could see Bill and his cronies standing over him like a gang of school yard bullies. He could hear his own labored breathing and the snickering of the Henchmaniacs. He still couldn’t smell much other than ozone, but at least now he knew he was tasting his own blood. It wasn’t nearly as much as he’d expected.

“READY TO TALK NOW?” Bill asked in a bored tone.

“I-I won’t…” Ford rasped. “...I won’t… let you into my mind!”

“WHADDAYA SAY, PALS, ANOTHER 500 VOLTS?” Bill asked his audience. The Henchmaniacs laughed and cheered. Bill was winding up for another blast of electricity when they all heard a thumping noise coming from outside the Fearamid. It grew louder and louder, until… crash! A theropod head burst through the wall and roared.

“WHAT!? I JUST FIXED THAT DOOR!” Bill whined.

Ford squinted to see what was outside the Fearamid. His glasses were so dirtied with soot he wondered briefly if he might see better without them. Was that… was that his house!?

“It’s the Shacktron, dudes!” he more heard than saw Soos cheer. Oh no, what was Soos doing here!? Didn’t he realize the danger? And who else had he brought with him? Ford could only imagine what Bill would do if the triangle managed to nab all his loved ones at once.

“SO THE MORTALS ARE TRYING TO FIGHT BACK, HUH? ADORABLE!” Bill gave a cruel chuckle. “HENCHMANIACS, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! TAKE ‘EM OUT!”

It was hard for Ford to see what was going on from his vantage point, but he couldn’t look away. The more he watched, the more anxious he became. He could see Wendy leaping onto an eyebat, he could hear Fiddleford’s distinctive voice calling out commands, and Mabel and Dipper’s cheer after punching out Paci-Fire and Kryptos. He even caught a glimpse of Stan through a window when the Shacktron came near enough to the hole in the Fearamid. But as things went on, his fear was mixed with pride. They were holding their own! Better than holding their own, they were winning! Soon enough all of Bill’s minions were sprawled across the ground, groaning in pain.

“SERIOUSLY GUYS? YOU HAD LIKE ONE JOB!” Bill groaned.

“Bravo, everyone!” Ford cheered defiantly.

Bill sneered at him. “YEAH, ENJOY YOUR LITTLE VICTORY NOW, WISE-GUY. YOU DO REALIZE I’M GONNA GO GRAB YOUR LITTLE FAMILY AND MAKE YOU WATCH ME TORTURE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM UNTIL YOU TELL ME HOW TO REVERSE THE WEIRDNESS MAGNETISM, RIGHT?”

Ford’s heart fell. “No, no you ca--” Bill re-froze him mid-sentence.

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, SIXER? I CAN DO ANYTHING!”

He didn’t know how long it had been when he was unfrozen. All he knew was suddenly half the town was there, freed from their stony prison, and Bill was still outside fighting the Shacktron. Mabel and Dipper were standing in front of him with identical hopeful grins.

“Kids!” Ford knelt down and hugged them both tightly, “I knew you could do it! That was brilliant!” He caught sight of McGucket just off to the side, apparently trying not to interrupt a family moment. “Fiddleford! Thank you, old friend, I know they couldn't have done it without you.”

“Aw shucks, I'm jus’ glad yer ok.” McGucket smiled as the two old scientists hugged.

“Yeah, nice to see you too, bro.” Stan grunted from behind them.

“Grunkle Ford,” Dipper piped up, “before, you said something about one other possible way to beat Bill. What was it?”

“Yeah, what's Bill's secret weakness?” Mabel asked.

“Oh, right!” The old researcher remembered, and reached for something in his pocket. But be paused mid-motion, looking around the room. “Back when I first learned about Bill, there was a prophecy painted on the cave wall as well.” Ford observed all the people standing around him, and suddenly the puzzle that had eluded him for years finally clicked into place. “Robbie, do you still carry spray paint around with you?”

“Uh… yeah. Why?” the teen asked.

“You'll see.” Ford assured him, grabbing the paint canister and quickly spraying a large circle on the floor.

“Uh, Bill's just outside, I don't know how long the others can hold him off.” Dippy pointed out.

“Yes, yes, good.” Ford murmured in reply, concentrating too hard on whatever he was painting on the floor to really pay attention to what the boy was saying.

“Well, he's finally lost it.” Stan said flatly.

“Like he didn't lose it forever ago?” Wendy asked.

“I'm perfectly sane.” Ford corrected. “And this is how we'll beat him.” He gestured to the finished image: a circle of ten symbols surrounding a simple sketch of Bill Cipher.

“With the world's most confusing game of hopscotch?” Pacifica asked incredulously.

“No… although it would make a pretty fun game of hopscotch.” Ford admitted. “This is what I found painted on the cave wall. Some of the symbols I recognized then, some of them I only recognize now, but the very first people to settle in Gravity Falls, long before any European immigrants, prophesied that these symbols together could generate a force powerful enough to defeat Bill and reverse his weirdnesses. Until now, I thought it was just superstition, but now that I see the ten symbols here in real life, I know that can't be a coincidence.”

“What do you mean?” Dipper asked, “You had this drawn in the Journals and it didn't do anything. Bill still destroyed them!”

Ford smiled and shook his head. “The symbols themselves aren't what's special. They represent people! Dipper: the pine tree. Mabel: the shooting star.”

Dipper's eyes widened as he stood on the corresponding symbol.

“Oh my gosh!” Mabel gasped reverently as she took her place.

“A question mark! This one's unsolvable!” Soos observed, completely forgetting the coin block on the Mario shirt he was wearing.

“And I knew I'd seen that broken heart on your hoodie somewhere before!” Ford said to Robbie.

“Dang man, you've been wearing that thing since the fourth grade!” Wendy pushed her friend forward.

“Whoa, destiny hoodie!” The teen said in awe.

“As well as the star from the Tent-o-Telepathy.” Ford pointed to Gideon, who was standing at the back of the crowd.

“Oooh, don't mind if I do!” The boy took his spot next to Mabel.

“Don't make a big deal about this.” Mabel warned him.

“O-of course not!” Gideon flushed, then chanted under his breath, “Be a person worthy of loving, be a person worthy of loving…”

“And Pacifica: the llama.” Ford pointed to her.

“... This is freaky.” The spoiled girl muttered as she looked between the sweater Mabel had lent her and the symbol on the floor.

“Ok, so some of the symbols are really obvious. But what about the ice? Or the glasses?” Dipper asked.

“They're not all litteral.” Ford explained, “The ice should be someone who's cool under pressure.” The two of them looked over at Wendy. They couldn't think of anyone else in the crowd who fit the criteria, and come to think of it, hadn't Dipped spilt bag after bag of ice around Wendy all summer?

“And the glasses should be someone wise and scholarly.”

McGucket smiled sheepishly and stepped forward. “I dunno 'bout wise…”

“And Stanley, you're the fish.. thing. Whatever that thing on the end of your staff is.”

“You gotta be kidding me!” Stan rolled his eyes. “You realize this is a buncha hogwash, right? You really think a bunch of randos standin’ in a circle an’ singin’ kumbaya is gonna stop that monster!?”

“It's a mystical human energy circuit!” Ford defended.

“You said you thought it was superstition until you saw all these people together!” Stan retorted. “This isn't what you were talkin’ about before, is it?”

“...No.” Ford admitted, “But that doesn't matter now, this will work!”

“How do you know? Just 'cuz some dead guys drew it on a wall!?”

“Come on Stan! I gave your idea with the quantum destabilizer a chance, the least you can do is give this a shot!” Ford yelled indignantly.

“Don't yell at me!” Stan yelled back.

“Come on!” Wendy groaned.

“Dang it, old men, now's not the time!” Gideon exclaimed.

“Alright, fine!” Stan relented and joined the circle. “I'm not the enemy here, people!”

“Everyone else get out of here, this may be dangerous…. Now all of you hold hands!” Ford commanded.

“Oh gee, I'd love to.” Stan said sarcastically, “Except there's the little problem of I haven't got one!”

Ford gritted his teeth. “You know what I meant! Just  give me your arm… stump… whatever you call it.”

“I wouldn't have it if you hadn't abandoned me, you big jerk!” Stan turned on him.

“Really!? Now of all times you bring that up!? Why do you always have to make everything more difficult than it has to be!? Why can't you ever just do as you're told!?”

“What makes you think you can tell me what to do!?”

The elder twins’ argument just devolved into fistfighting from there. Everyone watched in slack-jawed horror. Everyone except Mabel and Dipper, that is, who were desperately trying to pull their Grunkle apart. But it was too late.

“OH NO, IT'S BILL! ...THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ALL THINKING, RIGHT?”

Bill was back.

“HAHAHAHAH! THIS IS JUST TOO GOOD! DON'T YOU BRAINIACS KNOW THE ZODIAC DOESN'T WORK IF ALL OF YOU DON'T HOLD HANDS? THANKS FOR BRINGING EVERY THREAT TO MY POWER INTO ONE EASY-TO-DESTROY PLACE THOUGH!” the demonic triangle snapped his fingers and the painting on the ground burned away, catching a few people on fire in the process. He then reached out and grabbed the elder Pines twins. “YOU GUYS WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CAN'T GET ALONG?”

“Oh no!” Dipper cried.

“You give them back!” McGucket demanded.

“You've gone too far, Cipher!” Gideon shouted.

“Yeah, we're not scared of you!” Wendy growled, raising her ax threateningly.

“OH… BUT YOU SHOULD BE.” the triangle grew another arm and snapped his finger. Dipper and Mabel watched in horror as everyone around them floated up into the air and was turned into a tapestry, each one depicting its victim in the middle of a wide-eyed scream. “LOOKS LIKE IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOUR FRIENDS, STANFORD, BUT YOU CAN STILL SAVE YOUR FAMILY!” A glowing blue cage rose up out of the ground, trapping the kids. “LAST CHANCE: TELL ME HOW TO TAKE WEIRDMAGEDDON GLOBAL AND I'LL SPARE THE KIDS.”

“No, don't do it!” Dipper cried from inside the pyramidal cage.

“Yeah, Bill makes bad deals!” Mabel agreed.

Bill leered down at her. “DON'T YOU TOY WITH ME SHOOTING STAR! I SEE EVERYTH--”

Mabel grabbed Robbie's spray paint and sprayed him in his giant eye.

“AUGH! NOT AGAIN! WHY THE EYE!? EVERY TIME!”

“I know that hurts, because I've done it to myself!” Mabel crowed.

Dipper quickly pulled out the flashlight with the size-changing crystal attached to the top and grew the cage until they could squeeze between the bars.

“We'll distract him, you guys run for it!” The boy cried to his Grunkles.

“What!? That's a suicide mission!” Ford protested.

“Don't worry! We've beaten him once.” Dipper reassured them.

“And we'll do it again!” Mabel finished. “Hey, you pointy jerk, come and get us!”

Bill finally got the paint out of his eye. He growled and chased after the kids. Stan and Ford were about to run after them too, but a blue wall of contorted bars blocked their path.

“NOT SO FAST! YOU TWO STAY HERE. I'VE GOT SOME CHILDREN I NEED TO TURN INTO CORPSES.”

The brothers found themselves in a cage identical to the one the kids had just been in. Only they had no means of escape. All they could do was bang on the bars and yell after them to stop. But their pleas fell on deaf ears.

“I can't believe this!” Stan sunk to the ground. “The kids are gonna die, and it's all my fault! All because I wouldn't just link arms with you!”

“Don't blame yourself. I'm the one who made a deal with Bill on the first place.” Ford said sadly.

“Yeah, but I'm the one who got you captured.” Stan lamented, “Dipper went back an’ tried to help you, but I… I just ran. Ugh, dad was right about me, I'm a screw-up.”

“No.” Ford knelt down next to his brother. “That's not true. You never made a deal with Bill, not in all those years he tried to convince you. If anybody's a screw-up, it's me. If I didn't drive away everyone close to me, things would have been solved years ago. I'm sorry I always made you second priority.”

Stan barked a sound halfway between a chuckle and a sob. “How'd things get so messed up between us?”

“We used to be like Dipper and Mabel.” Ford smiled fondly. “The world's about to end, and they still work together.”

“They're working together because the world is ending. That and they're too young to know any better.” Stan observed.

Ford shifted and pulled a strange object out of his pocket. It took a second for Stan to recognize it as the memory eraser from his first day back home.

“What're you gonna do with that?” The old con man asked.

“This is the one last possibility to defeat Bill I was talking about before.” Ford said gravely.

Stan's face lit up as he began to realize his brother's plan. “You mean we could just erase him outta your head the second he goes in there!?”

“Yes… but there's more to it than that.”

Stan didn't like the look Ford was giving him. He looked like a doctor about to tell their patient they had cancer. “Ok, what's the catch?”

“Bill isn't a static memory. He won't just let himself be erased, he'll hide in some remote corner of the mindscape. Unless you were to erase everything.”

Stan's expression sobered immediately. That explained why Ford had been so desperate to try anything else to stop Bill.

“What!? Are you kidding me!? You're honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?”

“Believe me, if there was another way, I'd do it in a second. We're out of options, Stanley! The only alternative would be to actually give myself up to Bill and hope he'll let you and the kids go.”

Stan snorted. “Like he'd make good on that deal.”

“Exactly.” Ford agreed. “So, we agree on what needs to be done?”

Stan's reply was to wrap his arms around his brother and bury his face into his shoulder. “You and your snarfin hero complex! D’Arvit Ford, I don't wanna lose you again!”

“... Neither do I.” Ford returned the hug. “Don't think of it as losing me. I'll still be around. I'll still be me. I just won't…”

“Won't remember anything about me. Or anyone. Or anything.” Stan finished.

“Y-you might be able to remind me.” Ford encouraged him, “Fiddleford has been regaining his memories after they were erased.”

Stan sniffed inelegantly, failing to hide his crying, but he nodded.

They didn't have long to recompose themselves before they heard the kids’ screams, signalling Bill's return.

“ALRIGHT FORDSY, I'M BACK, AND I'VE GOT THE KIDS! MAYBE I'LL KILL ONE OF 'EM, JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT. EENY MEENY MINEY--”

“Stop!” Ford cried. “I'll tell you! Just let the kids and my brother go, please!”

“THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.” Bill said smugly.

The cage holding them dissolved away and a glowing red arm shot out of the ground, wrapping itself tight around Stan.

“No, Grunkle Ford, don't trust him!” Dipper pleaded.

“It's the only way.” Ford smiled sadly. “I-I love you all. Always remember that.”

“CUT THE SAP, SIXER. DO WE HAVE A DEAL OR NOT?”

Ford's only response was to extend his hand. Bill grabbed it, and blue flames enshrouded them both. Bill's physical form turned to stone as his mental projection jumped straight into the old scientist's head.

“FINALLY!” Bill crowed when he found himself in Stanford’s mindscape. The mental manifestation of the old man was standing there coldly. The light was reflecting off his glasses, making it impossible to see his eyes. Which didn't make sense because there wasn't actually any light. Which meant Ford was looking like that on purpose. The drama queen. “I TOLD YOU I'D FIND YOUR WEAKNESS!”

Ford did his best to ignore the mocking. He held up a book that looked just like one of the Journals. “Here it is, Bill, everything I know about weirdness magnetism.”

“AHAHAHAHAH, FINALLY!” Bill chortled, taking the book eagerly. “YES! NOW I CAN--” the book abruptly caught fire. “WHOAH- HEY!” The triangle could only watch as blue flames rapidly ate away every last page. “WHAT DID YOU--!?”

“It's gone.” Ford said evenly, a cruel grin spreading across his face. The light reflecting off his glasses disappeared, revealing a triumphant glare. “It's all gone!”

“YOU IDIOT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?” Bill steamed, “I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!!”

“On the contrary, Bill,” The scientist said calmly as the entire mindscape around them went up in blue flames, “You're the one who's finally going to pay.”

Bill's eye grew wide as he realized the extent of what was happening.

“GRAH! THE DEAL’S OFF!” He growled, but as he tried to wave his arm and create an exit, nothing happened. If anything the flames rose higher. “WHAT THE-- NO! NO NO NO NO!

“YOU FOOL!” Bill raged, “”YOU'LL DESTROY YOUR OWN MIND TOO!”

“Gladly.” Ford said emphatically. “If it means you'll never do to another living thing what you did to me.”

“YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE, STANFORD!” Bill said desperately, “I-I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! MONEY, FAME, RICHES, INFINITE POWER, YOUR OWN GALAXY! JUST--PLEASE!”

“Whatever I want?” Ford echoed fiercely. “What I want is to watch you burn to nothing!” He finally lost his cool and roughly grabbed Bill by his stupid bowtie. “You pretended to be my friend, only to use me and manipulate me!” He wound up and punched the triangle. “You got me to drive my only true friend away!” Another punch. “You took control of my body and used it as a play thing!” And another. “You blackmailed me!” And again. “You tortured me!” Another. “And even worse than what you did to me, you messed with my family!” He wound up one more time and punched Bill right in the eye, harder than he'd ever punched anything before. The demonic triangle gave one last strangled cry in a language Ford didn't recognize, and shattered into a million pieces.

“...It is done.” Stanford said with finality. But… it didn't feel right. He'd been fantasizing about defeating Bill for years now, and he'd finally done it! He was the hero! He'd killed the demon, been able to beat him down with his own hands, and yet… this victory felt hollow. Was it because he was losing his own mind in the process? No… he'd always been prepared to sacrifice himself in order to pay for his mistakes.

As everything burned blue around him, the last thing he found left was a familiar tattered photo of two boys standing proudly atop a rotting shipwreck. Ford realized he didn't regret what he was losing, but what his family would be losing. And even more, what he never was for them.

“I'm sorry.” He murmured as the flames licked at his feet.

Stanley found his brother kneeling in a clearing in the woods not long after all of Bill's Weirdmageddon crap cleared up. Ford was still completely out of it. His eyes were unfocused and his mouth hung open.

“Grunkle Ford that was amazing!” Dipper exclaimed, running up and hugging him. Ford jumped at the contact, surprised and maybe even a little uncomfortable with the boy in his personal space.

“Uh, sorry, are you talking to me?” The old man asked in confusion.

The boy's face fell as he pieced together what happened. “You… you don't remember me…”

“No. Should I?”

“Yes!” Mabel cried, “We're your family!”

Ford just looked at them all blankly.

“It's ok, kids.” Stan tried to reassure them, “W-we just gotta remind him, y’know?” he sat down in front of his brother and looked him in the eye. “I-I’m Stanley. I'm your brother.”

Ford was too fascinated with Stan's arm to pay attention to his words. “Your arm, it's metal!” He observed with an eager smile, “that's not normal, is it? What's it made of? How do you get it to move like that?”

Stan’s eyes welled up with tears. “C-c’mon, Ford, it's m-me, it's Stan… I'm remindin’ you, j-just like you told me to… please Ford, it-it’s me, it's Stan!” He finally broke down crying in to his brother's shoulder. “Why d’you always gotta be the hero!? Y-you jerk! W-we never got t-to make thing right.…”

Ford looked at the two children for help. “What did I say?”

They brought Ford back to the wrecked remains of his house, picking up Soos and filling him in on what had happened on the way. The young mechanic was devastated, and he joined with the others in trying to jog Stanford’s memory. They had many opportunities to try. It seemed every step along the way Ford had another question.

“Did you see that little man in the red hat run into the bushes? What was that?”

“It’s a gnome.” Dipper explained patiently, although there was a pained undertone in his voice, “You used to study them.”

“Why do they wear those little red hats?” Ford wondered, “Are they hiding something under them?”

“I-I don’t know.” Dipper admitted, but it didn’t seem to bother Ford. If anything he seemed more excited, and he made to run off after the gnome.

“Wait! Don’t run off without us!” Mabel grabbed his hand.

This stopped him, but only because he’d suddenly become more interested in the small hands holding his own. He looked around at everyone and an expression spread across his face like he’d just found the greatest puzzle of all time.

“Wait a second, I just noticed something!” He held up Mabel’s hand and compared it to his own. “I’ve got more fingers than all of you! Isn’t that interesting? I wonder why it’s like that?”

“You were born that way.” Stan told him.

“Yes, but why?” Ford asked again. Nobody had an answer for him, which only served to make him more curious.

Stan heaved a heavy sigh. “C’mon Ford, we gotta get home. We’re all tired, you must be too.”

“I’m not tired!” The old man insisted like he was a four-year-old, “I wanna explore!”

Stan looked like he was on the verge of losing his composure again, so Mabel stepped in. “Grunkle Ford, if you come home with us, I’ll show you my scrapbook, and we can teach you everything we learned about all the weird things in Gravity Falls this summer.

“Really?” Ford asked, like she’d just promised to watch his favorite movie with him. She nodded. “Come on, let’s go!” He pulled her ahead toward the dilapidated house.

Dipper had to knock the door in, and despite the building being surprisingly still structurally sound, the place was trashed. Ford didn’t seem to notice; he took the state of the house as normal, and only seemed curious with the books and papers strewn across the floor. Everyone else was in low spirits. For all the questions they were answering and all their attempts to remind Ford of who he was, nothing seemed to be working.

“We saved the world, but what’s the point?” Dipper wondered forlornly, “Grunkle Ford’s not himself anymore.”

“I don’t get it.” Stan sat down and held his head in his hands, “Before, he said we’d be able to remind him…. Well, he said we might be able to remind him. Ugh, I should’ve known he was just sayin’ that to make me feel better. I should’ve known better than to get my hopes up!” He punched the wall with his mechanical arm and left a sizable hole.

“No!” Mabel said emphatically, “I know my Grunkle is still in there! We can’t give up, guys!” She found her scrapbook lying under the entertainment center, and sat Ford down next to her on the old couch. “This’ll work. This has to work!” She opened up to the first page and showed him a picture of the three of them at the bus-stop, not long after they’d arrived in Gravity Falls.

“Here’s a picture of the first day we came to Gravity Falls!” Mabel narrated, “and here’s a macaroni art interpretation of my emotions!” She pointed to a macaroni collage of an unsure smile and a question mark.

“What about that time we went to the lake our first weekend here?” Dipper asked as his sister turned the page again and revealed a two-page spread of photos from their picnic. “Or all those times we’ve played Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons together?” He asked on another page.

“Uh, these are all very nice photos, but weren’t you going to teach my what you learned about the weird things in Gravity Falls?” Ford asked innocently.

“They’re photos of you, Dr. Pines!” Soos cried.

“I can see that, but I don’t remember any of this, or any of you!”

That was enough to break Stan down again. The old con man got up abruptly and retreated to the other side of the room.

Ford got up and followed him. “What’s wrong? Why do you keep on crying like that?”

Stan just shook his head and turned away, unable to speak through his sobbing.

“Is it because of me?” Ford asked worriedly, “Is it my fault?”

Stan shook his head again, but Ford seemed to know instinctively that he was lying. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what for, but…” He trailed off and his expression became thoughtful. “I’m sorry…” he repeated softly. He reached out and hugged Stan awkwardly.

Waddles entered the room, drawn by the sound of crying. The pig found two sad men standing in the corner, hugging. On of them was the source of the crying. The pig tried to comfort them the only way he knew how: snorting in between their feet.

“Waddles, do you mind, we’re having a moment here!” Ford pushed the pig away gently with his foot.

Everyone gasped and stared at the old researcher, a new hopeful glint in their eyes.

“W-what? What did I say?” Ford asked nervously, uncomfortable with all the attention.

“It’s working!” Dipper said excitedly, “keep reading!”

“Skip to my page!” Soos insisted, “He needs to remember being the greatest teacher ever!”

“I think you and Wendy are the only two who would ever call me that.” Ford chuckled.

And so they continued to look through Mabel’s scrapbook. Every few pages, Ford remembered more and more about being a teacher, a great-uncle, a researcher, and even a brother. Once they finished with the scrapbook, Stanley swept the house and found some ancient film-reels: Home videos from the elder twins’ childhood. Everyone couldn’t believe their luck. Perhaps this story could have a happy ending after all.

It was one week later, and Stanford Pines felt like a new man. His memories were more-or-less all back now. Sure, he still had some hazy moments when someone would mention something like he was supposed to know what they were talking about, and he’d have to ask for clarification, but the most important things were all back. He knew his family and his best friend and his students and all the strange, wonderful, occasionally annoying people in Gravity Falls.

Of course, with the return of his good memories came the return of the bad. Just last night he’d had another nightmare about Weirdmageddon. But it was easier to shake off these bad dreams now that he knew Bill was well and truly gone. He’d also had a heart-to-heart with Stanley about some of the darker moments in their past, but he felt so much better now that they had.

Now it was time for the kids’ birthday party, and pretty much the whole town, human and supernatural, had shown up. Mabel and Dipper were giving some short speeches after blowing out the candles.

“Y’know, on my first day here, if you’d asked me what I wanted, I would have said ‘Adventure, mystery, true friends’, but looking out at all of you, I realize that every one of those wishes came true. I’m happy with what I have.”

“If I had one wish, it would be to shrink you all down with the shrink-ray and bring you all home with me in my pocket. But since that’s impossible--” She paused and looked up at Ford, “Is that impossible?”

He shrugged and made a so-so gesture. It was technically possible but really not a good idea. People would probably get squashed or suffocate.

“--Since that’s probably impossible, my only wish is for all of you to sign my scrapbook! I’ll never forget you all!” She paused again, pulled out the memory eraser, and smashed it under her foot. Ford couldn’t believe how relieved that made him feel. “Now I’ll never forget you all!”

As the kids joked around with Wendy and her friends about technically being teens now, Stan pulled Ford away from the crowd around a corner of the house.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you in private.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” Ford asked in concern.

“Nothin’, just wanted to let you know I’ve made up my mind.”

“About what?”

“About leavin’ after the kids head home. I’m probably gonna start packin’ once this party business is over.”

“What!?” Ford cried incredulously,

“Yeah, see, this I why I wanted to talk to you about it in private.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“But… but I thought…” the old researcher stammered, “We’ve been making progress Stanley! I truly believed things between us were on the mend!” He sighed heavily and regained his composure, “But… if that’s what you feel is best, I won’t try and force you to stay.”

“Uh, thanks…” Stan said awkwardly.

“...where will you go?”

Stan shrugged. “Thinkin’ about gettin’ a ship, sailin’ in search of treasure.”

“Just… just like we always dreamed about. I… I’m happy for you, Stan.” Ford said, sounding the exact opposite of happy.

“Y’know…” Stan scratched the back of his head with his good arm and gestured with his mechanical one. “If I’m gonna hit the high seas, I’m gonna need someone who knows how to take care of this robot arm along for the ride. I’m still gettin’ the hang of it.”

“Y-you mean… you want me to come!?” Ford asked hopefully.

“No I mean McGucket.” Stan said flatly, rolling his eyes again. “Of course I want you to come, genius!”

Ford gaped at his brother for a moment before shoving him playfully, “You’re the worst!”

“I’m the worst!? You’re the worst for making me feel like a rakkpod for jokin’ with you! Why d’you gotta be so sincere?”

The two brothers re-entered the party, their arms around each other’s shoulder.

“If I could have everyone’s attention!” Ford shouted. “I’d like to officially announce my retirement!” He declared once the crowd had died down, “My brother and I have some catching up to do, so we’re leaving on a voyage, and probably won’t be back for quite some time.”

“Woohoo!” One of the teens cheered, “No physics class this year!”

“B-but what about the repair shop?” Soos stammered. “What about preparing young minds to be the scientists of tomorrow?”

“I’m sorry, Soos, but I only ever started teaching and running the repair shop so I would have a steady income while I was working on the portal. Now that Stan and I are together again… I don’t really have any reason to keep it up.”

Soos looked defeated.

“But school starts in two weeks and we’ll need a physics teacher!” A member of the school board complained.

Ford looked at Soos knowingly. “I think I know someone who could take my place.”

“Wh-me?” Soos asked incredulously. “I haven’t even got my degree yet!”

“You should be able to get an emergency teaching licensure.” Ford reasoned. “That’s how I got hired on full-time.”

“But-but you’ve got a doctorate.” Soos protested.

“Soos, you’re much better with people, and especially teens, than I ever was. And you know more than enough to teach high school. I think you’re the perfect man for the job.”

“We’ll see what the school district has to say about that.” The school board member called from the crowd.

A small group of friends and family gathered at the bus stop the next day in the early afternoon. Mabel and Dipper were all packed up and ready to go. Well, as ready as they’d ever be.

“Thanks for wearing my goodbye sweaters.” Mabel complimented her Grunkles. The elder twins were decked out in matching sweaters: Ford’s a deep blue, Stan’s maroon.

“Eh, it’s cold out, I had to.” Stan grunted.

“It’s over eighty degrees out here, Stanley.” Ford teased him. Stan responded by elbowing him playfully.

Dipper and Wendy said their goodbyes and switched hats just before the bus arrived, the ginger teen slipping him a letter as he walked away.

“Looks like we’ve said goodbye to everybody, except…” Mabel looked back at her pig sadly, “Waddles.” She got down on her knees and petted him sadly. “I don’t know how to explain this to you but… Mom and Dad won’t let be bring a pig home to California, so… you have to stay here!”

She got up to leave, but the pig playfully nipped at her skirt. The girl tried to push him away, tears streaming down her face.

Ford frowned. “Mabel, I think you should take him home with you.”

“But--”

“You’re parents will be surprised to find how easy a pet pig is to take care of. Pigs are actually very clean, certainly cleaner than that cat you have, and they don’t need that much space. I’m sure they’d be happy to have another pet! And if not, well, you can tell them it was my idea.”

“Are you sure?” Dipper asked warily, “Mom was pretty mad when she found out you’d offered to let us stay here without asking her first.”

“I’ll take my chances.” The old man assured them.

“Now hold on!” The bus driver protested, “Bringing unauthorized animals aboard a moving vehicle is strictly prohibited!”

Ford not so subtly pulled out his crossbow, and Stan charged up the blaster in his arm.

“Uh… but this, heh, is obviously a service animal, so it’s ok!” The driver chuckled nervously.

The kids gave one last goodbye hug to Stan, and then to Ford.

“I hope you know I’m not exaggerating when I say you two have changed my life.” The old researcher said fondly. “I… I don’t know how I could ever thank you enough…”

“We love you too, Grunkle Ford.” Mabel sniffed back a few tears.

Finally, they’d run out of ways to stall. It was time for the kids to get on that bus.

“Ready to head into the unknown?” Dipper asked.

“Nope.” Mabel said honestly. “Let’s do it anyway!”

Ford and the others ran along the road, waving goodbye until the bus rounded the corner and drove out of sight. The old researcher felt like a piece of his heart was leaving with them. It must have shown on his face, because just a second later, he felt Stan patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss ‘em too.” the old con man said sincerely, “But hey, it’s not like we’re never gonna see ‘em again, right?”

Ford smiled. This pain in his heart was nothing compared to the joy of having his brother back. “You’re right.”

“Heh, somebody stop the presses.” Stan chuckled. “Now come on Sixer, we’ve got an adventure of our own to start!”

Under The Setting Sun || Chapter I

Words: 1705

Warnings: none

SUMMARY: When the world is falling apart, the only thing that humanity needs are heroes. Namely the united heroes. In an uneven fight against the forces of evil, they will have to lay down their fate on the edge of the providence. Which of sides will suffer a defeat and which will plunder in glory after a delightful victory?

Author: Manaick

A/N: This is our interpretation of Avengers: Infinity War {We based our story on the trailer and our own premonitions regarding an upcoming movie}. Hope you will enjoy it.

This was their only home. The spaceship was simply constructed of something iridescent. Straight lines were forming the walls, a large window at the front was allowing to navigate properly. The frame around the surroundings was filled with ominous brittle silence, for there was no gravity to hold them firmly nor was there gravity to supervise their zeal and minds. They somehow knew that something was around.

The blackness engulfed their thoughts. Stretching out in front of them, the unknown studied their fears, courage and  knowledge. There was no life here. That was simple, no thriving population, no signs of past living. The darkness had overcome any sense of purity, consumed all hope of cleanliness and had wiped out all desire. "Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to Earth?" Loki said without conviction in his voice, looking at the dark emptiness of space in front of him. Thor looked at his brother with a soft frown. "Yes, of course, people there love me. I am very popular." He explained, gazing at his brother from time to time. "Let me rephrase that. Do you really think it's a good idea to bring ME back to Earth?" Loki repeated himself a bit worried. "Probably not, to be honest." Thor said. "I wouldn't be worried, brother... I feel like everything's gonna work out fine..." After these words something has happened. Suddenly, both brothers saw a huge spaceship, emerging out from the darkness of space, right in front of their ship. Both men were looking up in disbelief of the view. "I think you spoke a bit too early, dear brother..." Loki spoke with a bit of irony in his voice. "What is that?!" Thor asked out loudly. "No idea, brother... But I have a bad feelings about this..." Loki muttered, watching the ship carefully and taking a little step backwards.

A wry smile crushed on his lips as he watched the ship in front of his one. "Kill 'em all. No hostages." His voice echoed from the walls of the great hall of his ship. Sitting in his spacious chair, he rose his huge hand, calling a specific person by this gesture. "Yes, my master?" a tall woman stood in front of him, her figure tensed but her eyes never left his. "I want to have this gem now. I've been chasing it for too long. Find it." Blue-haired woman gave a slight nod and turned around to leave the hall. "I count on you, Proxima." A formidable voice could be heard. She stopped for a second, however she didn't turn around. She tightened the grip on the spear she was holding in her hand. "I won't let you down, master." After these words, woman left leaving the Titan alone.

It didn't take aggressors long to crush the main gate of Asgardian ship, which were separating passengers from the vacuum. Titan's warriors entered the other ship quickly, they didn't leave too much of a maneuvering field for others to defend. Valkyrie was ready to fight with Hulk and volunteers that offered themselves. "We can't let them win! Fight, brothers and sisters! Fight, Asgardians!" Woman yelled and everyone started to attack. Hulk, using his superhuman strength smashed several aliens easily. Valkyrie did same, killing few of the Titan's warriors. "Thor! We ain't gonna push back this attack, there's too many of them!" dark haired woman yelled looking around for the God of Thunders. Thor, hearing this, threw a gaze at his brother. "We have to stop them!" Loki's heart was pounding hardly inside his chest. "Any ideas, brother? I just hope it's not gonna include the GET HELP action, isn't this?!" Loki growled darkly finishing one of the enemies off.

 Everyone who was able to fight was doing that. Man. Woman. No exceptions. Asgardians have united to defend aliens. To protect their last piece of something that once was their home.

 Some men tried to take all children to safe place, namely to the bridge chamber of their ship, unfortunately they failed. Others could only hear loud screams and howls of their compatriots when Thanos’ aliens broke to the room.

A string of screams unraveled from Thor's tongue, like yarn unfurling, as one of the creatures advanced. It's slick skin shimmered with hot anger along with it's dark, cold eyes. Every step it took rattled his bones and struck his heart. Thor tried to dodge a swing from its massive claws, but it struck his side and he tumbled into the floor. He could hear nothing, all was silenced, the yells of the Asgardians, the hisses of the creature, all inaudible. All he could do is feel. Feel the cold ground pressed against his form, the heat from the pain, and the rhythm of his terrified heart. He looked upward through the huge window in the front part of their ship, into the stars. Thor closed his eyes as he felt a searing pain.

"Brother!" Loki knocked another enemy down and rushed to Thor.

With few agile movements he killed the huge creature.

Black haired man knelt down next to Thor and pressed hands to his wound.

"Hold on. Just don't decide to faint, okay?" Loki tried to sound as calm as it was only possible, but he knew how faltering his voice was at that point.

Thor involuntarily pushed Loki's hand off.

"I am alright.. People.. Save as many as you can. I'll be fine.." with a loud hiss Thor got back onto his feet.

Loki nodded and once again he threw himself into a combat.

The fight against the enemies was continued.

The battlefield lay quiet, for it was now a graveyard of the unburied. Mad Titan's army was much stronger than people of Asgard. A lot of blood was shed before the fight has ended. Many people died devoting their lives in the fight against the invaders. Their eyes were as immobile as their limbs. Their souls had long departed to the celestial places to walk with the ancestors. The battle was lost, the enemy had won. Thor was laying in the second chamber of the Asgardian ship, being beared up by Valkyrie and Banner. Suddenly, the violent sound of crushing metal rented the air with a shower of sparks. The bulkhead has been destroyed. A tall purple person has entered the main chamber without hesitation.

"Proxima!" tall man yelled aloud.

Midnight came out of the shadow, her hands were covered in clotted blood. "I've looked everywhere. No signs of Space Stone, my mas...." Titan put his large hand up in the air silencing her. "I feel it. I can smell it" he said deeply and a mischievous smile crawled on his lips. He took few huge steps ahead and he entered another chamber. "Oh! Look at that!" chap stood in the middle of the room looking around until his eyes fell on the Valkyrie, Bruce and Thor. "Space Stone. Where's it?" Valkyrie slowly dropped her head down closing her eyes shot and squeezing Thor's hand hardly. "Who're you?" Banner asked simply getting up of the floor. "I've asked you a question, mortal!" Titan vociferated audibly. It didn't take long for Banner to get frenzied by emotions and within seconds he has changed into his green version. As he turned into Hulk, he attacked the purple tall man, unfortunately unsuccessfully. With one hit, Titan has sent Hulk to the floor so easily. "Anyone else?" he laughed wryly. "And now. Where's the Space Stone?" The silence was inscrutable. "Aa I can see, none of you will be useful. You're all gonna die." Proxima approached her master and she prepared her spear aiming at Thor with a rude smile on her lips. "STOP!" Titan and Midnight both turned around. Loki was standing in the passage, his dark hair were put behind his ears. "Well, well, well. The God of Mischief himself" Titan laughed grossly. "I thought you're dead. But they kept you alive. Great." Loki raised his mouth corners in a grimace and he slowly entered into the chamber, stepping above dead bodies of his fellows. "Could I interest you in negotiations?" Loki asked carefully going into Titan's direction. "I'm in possession of something which might be precious to you." Thanos narrowed his forehead. "Continue." Loki threw a brief glance at his brother and rest of the team. He reached his hand ahead. A blue light of Tesseract glowed around.

Thanos didn't say a word, he only nodded at Proxima. She once again aimed her spear at Thor. "Give it back to me, Loki. And in my generosity I'll let you all free" Thanos reached his large hand towards Loki. "If you won't cooperate, I'll make you all suffer. Do you really want to have them on your conscience?" Titan pointed at three people behind him. "Decision is up to you."

 “No! Loki, no! You can't!” Thor leant his weight on his elbow. “Don't do this, brother! It's too powerful to be entrusted into his hands!!!”

 Proxima made few long steps and slapped Thor’s face with her spear. Loki looked briefly at Thor and turned Tesseract in his hand few times observing delightful cold light of the object. With a deep sigh, man made few more steps and handled Tesseract to Thanos, bowing his head a bit. "I'm doing this with a pain in my heart. It would be more useful in my hands.. Now, let us free." Thanos took Tesseract in his hands and within a second, in a coruscation of light, he pull the little blue stone out of it. Smiling proudly, Thanos put the stone at the one of free places on his glove. The smile didn't get off his disgusting lips. He looked at Proxima above his shoulder and uttered. "Kill them and destroy the ship." Loki paled more after those words. "You promised.." Thanos giggled darkly. "Don't trust anyone but yourself. And you'll come with me." Titan left the chamber and went back on his own ship while two of the aliens pulled Loki behind them leading him in the same direction. "NO!!! NO!!!" The last thing Loki heard was screams of Thor and sounds of scuffle. "I'll come back for you, brother" Loki whispered under his breath.

Gifs by Cass

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The Thing About Gravity...

...Is that it’s optional for Time Lords.

Or, Donna isn’t quite sure if it’s the TARDIS or the Doctor, but someone needs to tell the both of them that there are rules to this sort of thing.

(thanks to @genocidaltheta for help w the ideas for this fic!) 

The TARDIS is old. Or at least, Donna presumes it is. It’s a theory of hers based entirely on the number of ‘malfunctions’ she’s experienced in her time traveling with the Doctor, and the few times she’s seen the Doctor tinkering with the ship’s console, intending to replace parts with bits and pieces nabbed from computers and TV remotes and alien mechanic shops.

It’s not as if the TARDIS is unreliable, though. Oh God no. They’ve been bombarded by space pirates and attacked by strange creatures in the Time Vortex that looked vaguely like dinosaurs, and the time ship had held up every time. Not even a scratch on the paint.

Still, it does have the air of her late dad’s beat-up old sedan. Seats patched together with duct tape, a piece of bungee cord holding the bumper together, and that odd noise the motor makes for a few seconds after you pull the keys out of the ignition. That’s what it’s like.

So, she isn’t all that surprised when she opens the door to her room one night to find the whole place upside down. Proper upside down, too, with the bed, the lamp, and the rest of the furniture attached to the ceiling. The covers don’t even droop, nor does the glass of water she had left on the night stand fall or drip.

She closes the door. Gives the TARDIS a minute, and then opens it again.

Everything’s right-side up again. Bed on the floor, glass of water once again obeying the lovely Laws of Physics that define Donna’s world.

Donna starts to think the TARDIS is just messing with her when the gravity shuts off completely.

She’s in the console room when it happens, and is currently halfway up towards the ceiling, hanging onto a coral strut for dear life.

“Doctor!” She shouts at the top of her lungs. “Doctor, where are you?!”

They dart into the console room, looking around frantically. “Donna? What’s wrong?”

She’s too confused to answer at first, because the gravity’s off and they’re just standing there on their own two feet, no problem.

Before she can find her voice, the Doctor finds her. “What are you doing up there?” They ask.

“The gravity’s gone off again, you moron!” She feels herself slipping, the sweat on her hands making her lose her grip on the coral, and readjusts.

“Oh, has it?” And only then does the Doctor’s feet leave the ground as they gently float into the air. “And what do you mean again?”

Have they really not noticed the gravity issues yet? Just last week, she was making tea in the kitchen when this same thing happened - gravity went kaput and she was left with tea all over her blouse.

“Just fix it!” She says. They can argue about it when she’s not floating ten feet off the ground.

Luckily, The Doctor manages to grab onto the TARDIS console before they float off too far, and after some complicated maneuvers, Donna falls in a heap to the ground.

“Oww,” she groans, shifting herself into a sitting position. She runs a hand through her hair (which is a terrible rat’s nest) and looks to see where the Doctor fell -- should have fallen, that is. Because they’re still floating in the air.

“Okay,” she says slowly, drawing the Doctor’s attention to her.

“Just a temporary gravity bubble,” they say quickly. “I just remembered - there’s some repairs I need to do on the time rotor. Special fancy circuits at the top that need re-soldering.” And with that, they reach for a toolbox at the base of the console, and with a funny sort of swimming motion, they move towards the ceiling of the TARDIS.

“I’m going to take a bath,” Donna says, pulling herself off the ground. A long bath, with lots of bubbles and maybe a few of those lavender candles. And good cup of tea.

Later, after a harrowing adventure involving an alien gang and the Doctor blowing up a drug cartel business, Donna opens the door to the kitchen. It would have probably been an early hour of the morning, had they been anywhere but a time ship traveling through the Time Vortex.

And this time, instead of the room being upside down, it’s the Doctor.

They’re sitting cross legged on the ceiling, with a odd metal box that looks like it’s being held together by duct tape in one hand, and their sonic screwdriver in the other.

They doesn’t seem to notice her, too preoccupied with sonicking their weird metal box, until Donna clears her throat.

The Doctor looks up (Or down, rather) and grins when they see her. “Oh, hello Donna!”

“You’re on the ceiling.”

They look down at themselves. “Am I?”

“Yes, yes you are. You’re on the bloody ceiling. And can I just ask, what are you doing up there?”

They look down at their box, then back to her. “Changing the light bulbs,” they say.

She glances to the light fixture beside them. A good two feet away from them, that is. There’s no way in hell they’re changing light bulbs.

The Doctor continues. “Yeah, see, I thought it’d be easier if I just… reversed the gravity. In this room only.”

Just to be safe, she takes a step away from the door, leaving her at a comfortable distance from the threshold of the room. Okay, if that’s how they want this to go, she’ll play along. “Why didn’t you just - get a ladder or something?”

“Well--” They start, but then a bit of the metal box falls off and whatever explanation they had planned trails off as the two of them watch the bit fall down onto the floor.

It lands with a ding against the tile.

Donna stares at the bit and then stares at the Doctor. They watch each other for a moment.

“I can explain,” they blurt.

She crosses her arms, waiting. And quite frankly, she’s amazed by her ability to look calm because on the inside, she keeps going over the fact that the gravity isn’t reversed it’s not reversed and they’re on the ceiling why are they still on the ceiling just sitting there like nothing’s wrong something’s wrong something has to be wrong

“You see, these, uh - my shoes are magnetic. And so’s this ceiling. ” They’re obviously making it up on the spot, but quite frankly, Donna just takes it, because she doesn’t know what to make of whatever the alternative is.

So, she says, “Fine, whatever spaceman,” and shuts the door. Who needs tea? Tea’s well-overrated. Weird alien liquor? Now that’s in vogue.

The liquor seemed to help, because she had forgotten all about it by the time they’re on the roof of a twenty story building, held captive by gang members hellbent on revenge for the little stunt she and the Doctor pulled weeks ago. Well, weeks for them. For the gangsters, it had been a few months, but that wasn’t the important thing.

The important thing was they had a gun to the Doctor’s head, and  Donna was struggling against the two men who held her arms behind her back, but damn they were strong.

“Oh, oh now really,” the Doctor’s babbling as they nudge them closer and closer to the edge. “Is this anyway to treat a captive? Death by concrete. Because, as I’m sure you lot know, it’s not actually the falling that kills you but the sudden impact. Trust me, I know, it’s not a lot of--”

And without even a moment's pause (they always pause, they always give them a chance to talk their way out of it, to free themselves, to live), they push them over the edge.

But Donna freezes before she can even scream when she watches the Doctor… stumble in the air and then… stop.

She doesn’t dare breathe as she watches them sort of, twist in the air and look around at the gangsters, who are staring at them with horror, fury, and just plain confusion.

Their face is one of concentration, but they’ve also managed to wear the most shit-eating grin she has possibly ever seen, and at that moment, Donna wants to slap it right off them.

After the both of them manage to escape the gangsters and make it back to the TARDIS with minimal injury, Donna grabs the Doctor by their tie and pulls them close.

“When the hell were you going to tell me that gravity is optional for you?” She demands, because even though she’s thankful (so, so thankful) that the Doctor managed to survive being thrown off a skyscraper, she could have done without the heart attack of thinking they were going to be thrown off a skyscraper.

“Oh, well,” they stammer. “It’s not exactly optional, it’s more a manipulation of the eleven--”

She glares. They wince.

“Right. Okay, so I was planning on telling you… Never?”

She tightens her grip on their tie. “Because that’s such a good idea?”

“It never really came up in the past!”

“It sure as hell came up just then! I was thinking they were going to kill you, and I was going to have to watch you fall to your death. I know you just love pretending everything’s fine and keeping your cards close to your chest, but sometimes, you have to tell me stuff, alright?”

They nod wordlessly.

Donna sighs, and lets go of their tie, which they adjust profusely for a moment. They walk up to the console and set about sending the TARDIS into the Vortex. Donna plops herself down on the jumpseat, watching them.

Once the TARDIS takes off, they clear their throat. “Sorry,” they say sincerely. “To be frank, though, I thought you would have realized earlier.”

She probably should have, she thinks to herself. Out loud, she says, “If I had, I would’ve said something sooner, don’t you think?”

They rub at the back of their neck. “Yeaaah…”

There’s an awkward pause, filled only with the gentle wheezing of the TARDIS.

“So,” Donna says. “Where are we going now?”

The Doctor grins.

A Bloom In Time Ch2 Idea Forming

Subcon Forest was not a place for just anyone to enter and exit as they please. There was a reason these woods had such a feared reputation and was rumored to be haunted. Because it was. By the King Snatcher of Subcon(as he liked to refer to himself) and his ghastly assortment of minions and dwellers behind him as his undead army, anyone who went in NEVER came out which added to the entire fightfulness of it all!!...Well no one except two little giggling girls who were currently playing with toys and crayons. The dark sky and dead trees twisted with dangerous vines as the sun dared not shine here. If that won't convince you to stay away then maybe the giant chunk of the forest that always so dangerously cold will? Or perhaps the section that's always burning bright with enchanted flames? Or maybe the ghostly king who claimed trespassers' souls as his own or the rumor of a powerful witch? Either way, whatever helps to keep tresspassers out he was all for it. But he had no real responsibilities today. The brats could wonder around his woods as long as they didn't go near the frozen half or Vanessa, or they could go exploring on any other part of the planet for all he cared. As long as they were both back home and in bed by six he was fine with it. Right now he was sitting down enjoying his book of dark tales and legends as he relaxed in his home. The old book in his claws as glowing yellow eyes scanned over the story unfolding from it's yellow pages. Down in the world unknown there laid a kingdom drab and dark. Where darkness and shadows collided and lived in fear and power. One would be mad to even think about stepping in a place like this. Where the dead are gone but still there, the shadows played and roamed and full of terror. A frightful place brace heros dare not venture unless they wish to meet a tragic fate. Yes. This one place was alone ruled by a power hungry spirit, spited by his love in life and now seeks vengeance on any mortal who dared be foolish enough to be beckoned into his awaiting claws- SQUEAK!! .....Snatcher slowly looked up from his book with a small frown. The small express owl plush slowly slid off his face and fell onto his lap with another small squeaky toy sound and he stared down at the little girl who threw it at him and frowning back up at the ghost, and he rolled his yellow eyes. The book in his claws closed and placed down as he gave the girl what she obviously wanted, his attention. "What is it kiddo? You know it's rude to throw things at people and interrupt someone reading. I thought I taught you two better than that." "Can you fix it?" She walked up to the edge of his chair and stood on her tiptoes, poking her head over the chair and placing her hands on his lap. "Fix what?" She pointed to the toy in his lap and he blinked down at it. A noticeable tear in it's backside was present to him. He rose a brow further before looking back to the small girl by the chair. Bow had come up to join her and now both were peeking over the chair at him, and he sighed picking up said toy with a squeak. "You couldn't fix the toy yourself?" Both shook their heads before Hattie spoke back up, "You said we weren't aloud to touch any needles, and we don't know how to sew anything." He still stared at them for a moment before he sighed and forced his floating body up and over to his bookshelf in the corner and the small sewing kit on top of it. It was soon in his hands and the girls climbed onto the giant chair to have a better look at the floating sewing kit and the ghost who started repairing the small toy in his claws. The needle floating easily through the soft fabric of the toy as the floating needle pulled the thread through the tear, before he flicked a clawed finger and pulled the thread tight and the hole was closed up and tied in a tight knot to secure it in place. As he turned back around with the newly fixed toy in his hand, he snapped with his free hand and the kit immediately put itself away as he floated back over and handed the toy back to the two which was grabbed by Bow. They thanked the enormous undead creature by hugging his hand and jumping off said chair. Running out the doorway and laughing their heads off as the two chased each other around. He sighed...a rare small smile coming over his face before he settled back down into the comfy chair. Kids. So full of energy and laughter. Now where was he? OH YES!! With another snap the book went back to it's master's awaiting claws and opened at his own leisure. Now let's pick up where he left off shall we? The old dusty book crinkled in his hands when he turned the page and began reading the page he left off at. He always enjoyed reading, it helped pass the time and it was one thing he could do now more than ever now that he had no real responsibilities....He glanced back out side real quick where the girls were currently sitting on the ground and using a large mushroom near the ground as a table for them to draw their pictures on and be surrounded by their small toys. Hattie absolutely LOVED exploring and running and jumping from building and trees with her weird alien powers, something about the world she was from having denser gravity and her kind used to space traveling and having to travel in a similar situation on land. But Bow could do similar things but in a less energetic way....When asked Hattie proudly stated she taught her everything, but the smaller curly haired girl preferred to just draw and play with toys rather than adventure. It was kinda cute the way they'd just compromised about what to do everyday. But kids will be kids. With a small smile on his face and book in hands he looked back to the book. The creature of vengeance was known as one of promises and dealings. Whether If one were to want something most dear to their heart and was determined and pure, or if their heart was filled with greed, envy, and lust he would grant your reply if you were brave or stupid enough to find him. It was when one day a child from a nearby village heard of this rumor that they were excited to find out if it was true or not. Against their parents and everyone else's wishes and warnings, the small child had snuck out to venture into the forbidden dark woods. The brambles scraped and left cuts on their body, the creatures chased after and threatened to eat them if they didn't turn back now, for darker and more sinister things slept in these woods, but bravely the child went on. On and on on their journey to really see this sinister ghost who granted wishes and promises that the mortal eye would repulse to believe. Until the sinister avenger had been found and the massive shadow beckoned the child closer with a boney rigged hand. "You have traveled far and withstood the tests my forces forwarded. For that you have earned the right to one miracle granted to you. But a warning you have also earned. Be warned, with a pure and honest heart comes great rewards. With a heart who bleeds nothing but black with greed and jealousy, a foul end you shall meet. Think about the consequences greatly, for the repercussions shall be swift and tight. Think well, dear child." The small child dared to smile at the creature and simply reply, "I have no need for any treasures or anything of preciousness near me. I solely only wished for to see myself if the avenger of shadows was a true sight. And now that I have seen you for what a true being you are, I will simply be leaving satisfied my wish was fulfilled." The answer of the child amused the ancient spirit and he chuckled his hollow laugh at the very notion of it all.  "Wise answer to an otherwise difficult mortal choice. For that you shall still be granted a prize for your efforts. Name one and answer wisely." The small child as said had no need for such items like treasure and fortune, but they knew that the child's hard working mother were in need of some fortune in her life. So with a kind heart, the child looked to the spirit and asked for their miracle. "My mother works oh so hard to take care of me. It would be so nice for her to have just a little more luck on her side. Oh spirit, let me repay her for all her kindness she has shown me." "Your wish shall be granted. A selfless act is always it's own reward, but be wary of those who wish to use those fortunes to their own will." The child was permitted a safe leave back to their home and as promised their selfless act of kindness was granted by the spirit of shadows. The child and their mother mysteriously found an old box in their pantry one day that they had never known of before and upon opening it discovered many, many priceless jewels. The likes of which they had never seen before. With this new found fortune, the mother and child were able to gain a plentiful farm with all the necessities they needed to have a plentiful life. Farther down in the years the mother even remarried one of the strongest most handsome men in the small village. But this man was nothing but green with want, and treated the mother and her child terribly- SQUEAK!! ....He looked up again with a frown when another plush toy hit the side of his head. This time it was a Mafia man that fell down to rest in his open book and he looked at the two girls staring up at him again and sighed. "Ok. What now?" Bow pointed to the toy. "The arm is falling off. Can you fix it please?" He frowned down at both of them as they innocently stared back and he groaned. Beckoning a finger to the sewing kit on the shelf before putting down the book and picking up the second toy, and true to Bow's word, there was a tear in the left arm threatening to let the whole arm fall off if it wasn't fixed. The kit flew over to him and out came the same needle and thread, and again the same process repeated as he grumpily started sewing the small toy's arm back into place. Within two minutes it was as good as new and handed back to the excited little girls, and the kit back into it's own place. "Here. But next time, don't throw it at my face ok?...And let me know you want something fixed before you interrupt me, it's so rude." Both girls giggled and again ran back off as he groaned and repicked up his book from his noodle lap, and started reading again.  He was lazy, rude, and had a heart full of greed. Seeping of those who had better and helping him in life. But one fateful day everything changed. For one day he asked the child's mother a question. "My dear wife. You know I love you dearly, but I must ask you. Where did you receive such wealth and fortune." "Why, from a old wooden box in the pantry," she replied happily, "And inside the little wooden chest was gems and riches beyond our wildest dreams." "Yes, yes! But where did it come from?" "I know not how it got there or where it came from, but my child and I are oh so happy to have received such a delightful fortune. How we may live happily for a long while." Her husband was displeased with such an answer and once again asked but this time to the child. The child happily told the man his venture into the woods and his encounter with the spirit of shadows, filling the man's heart with more greed. That very night when the family slept, the man snuck out and made his own way into the deep woods of shadows and fears. Brambles cut his clothing, he cursed those who dare chase him and snap at his hinds as he ran, but the greed and lust in his heart was strong. So strong he persisted his heart green with envy. Alas finally he arrived and looking as though some creature had mangled him with their claws. The spirit was beckoning him closer with a bony rigged hand and spoke. "Oh one who's heart is sewn with greed and plight. You have sought me through danger and fright. Your actions of greed are inexcusable but like many before you have made it through the path of darkness. For that you have earned the right to one miracle, but also a warning. Be warned, with a pure and honest heart comes great rewards. With a heart who bleeds nothing but black with greed and jealousy, a foul end you shall meet. Think about the consequences greatly, for the repercussions shall be swift and tight. Oh one who comes to me with a black heart for his own wishes. I offer this to you so you may choose your wish wisely." The man paid no attention to the wise words of the ghost nor did he think about any real consequences for his actions as he spoke what he oh so desired. "Give me more riches than any man shall have!! Make my fortune one who will make me a fortunate man!! A bright castle and beautiful jewels is what I seek and most desire!!" "A answer I foresaw and one your shall have for not heeding my warnings. Oh man of greed and selfishness, you shall indeed have your wish awaiting you home. But do not be surprised when your unfortunate fate you shall unevitably meet. Now be gone creature of greed. My domain is not fit for one of you." The man left for his home and once his got there his had his miracle in the form of the purest black horse with a magnificent couch of ebony, inside the couch was boxes and jewels of every imagining. The man cared not for his wife or the young child that he had left behind, away in this marvelous new couch he received and off that horrid man went into the night with his shouts of greedy glee and pleasure as his family long forgotten. The mother and child awoken to no greedy man plaguing their lives and while the mother was quite saddened, she still had the child to watch after. As luck and fortune does benefit those with kind hearts, another man the mother sought and a kinder gentler man she got. With as much kindness to her and her child this man gave to combat the sorrows left behind by the other greed filled one. One day a message they did receive, about a much bigger estate of land and riches. The greedy man who had once left them behind without a second thought, was now no more as the spirits warnings he did not heed. As fate had decided he would be no more, a swift and tight end he did get. Leaving everything he valued behind of jewels and gold, to no man but a woman he did not care for. His wife and next of kin did receive, fame and fortune for kindness indeed. With kindness in their hearts the family did grow, and with it came all luck and fortune soon to glow. For those with kind hearts and bright minds, often find themselves on the favorite end of fate's hands. The old ghost hummed before turning the page of the book to read the next legend or dark tales of the book. It had plenty and so far this one had been the one with the most happiness in it. It was called The Spirit of Fortune and Fate. An oldie but goodie in his mind, he faintly remembered it from when he was younger, who knew someone would remember it enough after all this time to make a book with it, but I digress. He began to read the next legend- SQUEAK!! Something was thrown onto his lap and he looked down blinking to see a small cat plush on his lap, it's black fur and yellow eyes staring up at him and it looked a lot like those Nyakuza cats from the city....he rose a brow at it before moving the book and seeing the two cute children smiling up at him again. He groaned and picked up the toy...It didn't look damaged and he looked back to them with a raised brow or what could be considered an eyebrow on a ghost. "What did I say about throwing toys at me? And what exactly do you want me to fix? " He turned the toy over in his claws. Seams were tight, no holes or tears, and it wasn't in no way word. It still had it's glow in the dark eyes painted on too. "There's no damage." The curly haired child held up a bow and he looked at it. "And? What's that for?" "I can't get the bow around her neck to stay on, and it keeps looking wrinkled. Can you fix it please?" Bow was always the more likely one of the two to use things like 'please' and her slightly higher voice made it cuter. He hated(loved it but would never admit it) it and groaned, taking the small bow from Bow and wrapping the long thin end of his tail around the cat toy's body to hold it still while his hands worked. He wasn't wasting magic energy on this, this time. But one downfall of not having knees he guessed. "You couldn't have done this yourself? I thought your name was Bow, kid?" "That's the name everyone gave me because no one knew mine. Like how Hattie's....Hattie?" "...I guess you got me there." His claws worked wonders in getting the small bow to stay and at least looked decent in his opinion. He guessed it must've looked good enough to the girls too because when his tail unwrapped around it, Bow gasped and held her arms out as it dropped into the child's awaiting arms and she giggled as the pretty pink bowed cat blankly stared back at her and he repicked up his book again. "There you go, now go play and let me have my peace-" "Whatcha reading, BFF?" The ever mischevious Hated child reached her hands up and leaned against the chair to make grabby motions towards the book in his hands to which he pulled away and scowled. "A grown up book you're not allowed to read." "Why?," she asked climbing onto his chair and crawling into his lap. He held it higher in one hand. "Because I said so." SQUEAK!! The toy was thrown back into his lap and Bow jumped up and latched a hold of the chair cushion, and was helped pull up the rest of the way by Hattie. "Why?," Bow asked as soon as she was sitting in his lap too regrabbing her toy in her arms, "What's it called?" Both were straining their necks up at the book in his hands and he growled. Not in a threatening way, in a way like an older brother would if their little siblings kept bothering him. "It's Dark and Scary Legends and Stories by Ivanna Gitta Bat. And it's stories are too scary for you two." Their response was to giggle at him like regular children. He was a giant ghost and they played in a haunted forest of swamps with hands, fire spirits, dwellers, and a man trapped in the moon. Hattie had fought him and won, and had faced off against multiple enemies and other threats. How scary could his stories be?.....In a word. VERY. These stories had tales of old MEAN ghosts and gruesome fates, which was putting it lightly, and not fit for two seven year old kids. They couldn't even sleep without their space unicorn nightlight. So with a snap of his hand the book flew and hid itself in the tall shelf of books as the girls 'awwww'-ed in disappointment. "I mean it. NO!!...And what did I tell you two about throwing things at me?" "You said not to throw it at your face. We threw Mr. Night-" Bow held up the cat teddy. "-at your lap." Loopholes. They always used them. He sighed and leaned back into his chair while reaching up to rub his face. "Don't you kids have like a minion to play hide and seek with or toys you left outside to play with? You could at least learn how to tie a simple bow to keep yourselves entertained." "But you fixed them. Don't you wanna play with us?" He moved two clawed fingers to peer at the girls between them. "Not right now. You'll never understand being...endless aging kids, but grown ups sometimes want their own alone time. Like how you two like to have separate adventures, besides couldn't you just use those time pieces to rewind the damage or som-" "NO!!" Both jumped at the sudden and loud tone the kid used and she scowled up at the lightly startled ghost. "I can't use them like that!! That's not how they work at all!" ....He blinked before leaning his head in one hand and frowning, "Then elighten me please. After all I-....I don't think you even told me how they work. Besides them keeping you,...you." He pointed to the fact that she was still permanently stuck as a kid. Not that he was complaining. More company for eternity right? But she just shrugged. "I dunno exactly. I just know that you can't use them without something bad happening most of the time, that's why they're locked up." "Wait. I thought you could use them." She shook her head again. "Only reverse what they do, why do you think I use them to power my ship?" She stood in his lap and gave a salute. "The S.S. KIDDO!!" Then her form paused...and she looked down. "They also cut into the user's past and makes them go crazy with that kind of stuff. Like the evil witch in your story." That got a chuckle out of them....and it also made a lot of sense for the affects. He knew when he found one, he went full on crazy with the desire to keep them all. The power of something like THAT under his claws and more than one was appealing to him- "They kinda work like wishing stars." He snapped out of his rambling and blinked down at the little girl who plopped herself back down in her lap and blinked up at him. "Like how I made a wish on a shooting star last week for a whole plate of cookies and Cooking Cat gave me some for a surprise!! And Mustache wished to make all bad guys disappear and it gave her crazy powers to blast them away like in Timmy's video games." She scowled. "She's still a big meanie."  He huffed and smiled a bit....but paused at what she just said. '....Wished to make all bad guys disappear....' '....Gave her powers to blast them away...' How many times had he wished for a certain person to disappear? To get lost? How many times had he wished to never be able to see her again or even risk her being so close? All the trauma and bad memories and all the hurt Vanessa had ever caused could just...be whisked away. POOF!! Like it never even happened....WHY HADN'T HE EVER THOUGHT OF THIS SOONER!? Well, to be far he did have one or two little distractions that kept him on his toes-...Er. Tail so to speak. He slowly looked back to her with much greater interest now. "Well that's just the cat....But what exactly do you mean they 'work like shooting stars'? You mean that they grant wishes like genies or something?" She tilted her head confused and blinked. " I don't know what a genie is, but sorta? They make a alternate timeline that has your wants and collides in into your own timeline to make it happen. Why do you think I had to fix all those time rifts?" .....He blinked, "So you know about time and alternate timelines but you don't know how to tie a bow?" She shrugged again and he sighed..before pausing...."You said they could make anything happen?" She shrugged not paying attention now as she leaned back into his cool but soft body and pulled off her hat, reaching inside and pulling out a chocolate chip cookie and sticking it into her mouth. "I gueff so." She mumbled with her moth full. "But I don't mike dem mwilke dat." "Don't eat with your mouth full," he mumbled have paying attention. His mind was elsewhere, or more specifically on SOMEONE. ...Have you ever wished someone would disappear? Yes. And the answer might be right in front of him-  "Snatcher?" He hummed and looked down to Bow who tugged on his lowered arm. "Can you tell us a story? Please?" .....He sighed. "Alright. Ill uh..Tell you the one I just finished reading, but after this I wanna be left alone for a little bit." Both girls snuggled down into his sides and he groaned again. This would be a while. "*AHEM* Down in the world unknown there laid a kingdom drab and dark. Where darkness and shadows collided and lived in fear and power. One would be mad to even think about stepping in a place like this-" Hat Kid raised her hand. ".....Yes?" "What does 'drab' mean?" He groaned. Yep. Gonna be a looooong day today.