#WHYS IT GOTTA BE CHRISTIAN WHAT THE HELL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unforth · 7 months

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I. Hurt.

And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.

See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.

Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...

...no, it's not the conclusion.

It's CHRISTMAS.

In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.

Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.

I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.

I didn't even read them.

I'm honestly. So disappointed.

I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.

And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.

But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?

I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.

Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.

#unforth rambles #im not sure how to tag this #i dont want to tag fandom since its kinda anti #and i dont want to tag antisemitism cause its not really #and i dont want to tag microaggressions cause thatll just show my privilege that ive been lucky enough to not have this feeling more often #but seriously WHAT THE FUCK #im genuinely considering rereading just so i can see if it was always christian and i just missed it until then #because its so fucking ubiquitous that it slides right off #but i dont think it was!!!#WHYS IT GOTTA BE CHRISTIAN WHAT THE HELL #and why have i never heard this mentioned surely im not the only person to notice this #maybe it was less jarring for people who rwad along with the webcomic #since these were extras released along thw qay #not shoved in the back of the book like in the print edition #i dont fucking know #i just know i hate it #this special fun thing could have been anything #and instead it was for one specific segment of the audience #and thats honestly so unnecessary and kinda yicky #dont you guys every get tired of making everything about your fucking dumb holidays you stole from other cultures #give me back passover i demand you turn over easter as a reparation

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timeisacephalopod · 1 year

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The pushback to the term "cultural Christianity" from atheists is real odd to me because, as someone who has been an atheist since 13, only ever went to church a handful of times never with my own family (made a note never to sleep over at that friends house on a Saturday again bc I HATED church it smelled like shit, was boring, pews are uncomfortable as fuck, and the religious people I knew were all wildly misogynistic and I've never been here for being told I was less of a person for being Born Like This), and generally had no actual connection to Christianity in a meaningful way but still only knows Christian mythology, has been steeped in Christian values I had to untangle, and my religious understandings are still deeply Christian.

Like Ive never paid attention to the bible, church, Jesus, Christian teachings, or whatever but if you asked me about any religion the one I'll reliably know the most about is Christianity. I don't know why atheists are offended by being called culturally Christian because they have bad blood with the religion because like sorry bruh that doesn't mean you're less indoctrinated by Christian values if the culture you grew up in is predominantly Christian. In fact I'd say that religion being this ubiquitous in the culture regardless of anyone's consent to exactly ONE religion being shoved down our throats is reason to team up with other religious folks who ALSO don't like being constantly evangelized to by the culture at large, not a reason to throw a fit because you don't like being tied to a religion that is so ingrained into the culture that shit like "oh my god" and "Jesus Christ" are common expressions of surprise regardless of how atheist you are. Like surely I'm not the only atheist to notice the shocking amount of cultural religious shit that works it's way into my life and speech despite having not set foot in a church since I was like 10, and I can't remember the last time I was in one before that.

Idk man cultural Christianity seems like a pretty damn useful term to describe my relationship with a religion I never fully bought into and then actively rejected as a child yet still hold weird connections to and knowledge of just because Christianity is so baked into the culture I grew up in like it or not. If you want to be mad, be mad at the Christians who stole your freedom from religion from you, not usually religious minorities who discuss cultural Christianity and how it damages them too.

#winters ramblings #like breh i HATE how much christian bullshit ive had to detangle from my life. like the idea of sin and punishment for example #id say a LOOOOOT of discussion regardless of religion leans towards a Christian understanding of the pridon system #prison is basically a recreation of hell on earth where youre supposed to go to burn off your sins in your 10x10 cell #now i gotta say not all Christians buy inti the styke of punishment and sin i know normal well adjusted Christians #but for the most part a HUGE portion of shit comes with a helping of cultural Christianity. but prison is probably the best example #hell any discussion of punishment relies on a distinctly christian flavor of 'atone for your sin or be doomed forever"#repubs bitch about so called cancel culture but thats just how Christians act towards sin lmao they do it too #except they choose shit you didnt ACTIVITY make a choice about like being gay to condem you to hell.#cant be mad that twitter cancels people for small shit like a crap joke if you actively subscribe to the same belief system #and are only mad bc that logic is applied to YOU now. anyway i could do without this logic in activist spaces #or ANY spaces being doomed forever over sin is only one way to do Christianity. like damn can the ones who like #rehabilitation and justice and helping the poor at least be the ones in charge??#regardless ive never been a Christian and barely have a meaningful connection to the religion. whuch is why i find it rather salient #that i still have this deep connection and knowledge of something i ACTIVELY REJECTED at 13 #do you know HOW MUCH i had to have been indoctrinated into this shit with as LITTLE of a connection to organized religion as i do??#the fact i have ANY connection at all is kind if fucked honestly it shows you really REALLY do not get to choose #your religious leanings unless youre actively ANOTHER RELIGION BESIDES CHRISTIAN otherwise tough tiddy #you get to be Christian By Default and i don't like it either. but when i see jewish people talking about it #i know EXACTLY what they mean because i dont like my connection to a religion i never believed in and rejected at 13 either #i don't like that my choice to reject Christianity was stolen from me by such a ubiquitously christian culture #im not mad at jews for pointing this out im mad at christians for stealing my freedom of choice

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snekdood · 1 year

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wait im sorry. what?

fdjughfdjfhgfdj?????????????????????

#america is hell #i see.#free movies but the cost is indoctrination #esp with the abundance of veggietales im seein on here #NEVERMIND!#THE SHIVA CARTOON IS ON HERE SKJSJKDSKH #gotta really dig to find it but #im so happy its there still honestly. even if they made parvati so pale #still the 1 hindu kid cartoon vs allll the other christian ones #NEVERMIND AGAIN!#theres another one called little krishna dshbsdghsd #telling that the christian ones are at the front though and i can only find the hindu ones by actually digging for those vids #also why all this religious stuff like theres just regular indian cartoons too amazon dshhgfd #just noticing they put pants under shivas tiger skin .#WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF HUH?????????#traditionally the man is naked ok STOP THIS #IT MUST END SOMEHWERE DHJBDGHVSHGD

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writingstoraes · 10 months

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the other side 🥡

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!horner!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: this was actually a request but it somehow got lost in my inbox so im so sorry to whoever requested this 😭 i hope you still see this though and i hope u like it! lmk what u guys think hehehe

about: fans adore your support for ferrari, given your dad is literally their rival's team principal.

ynhorner

liked by therealgerihalliwell, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 1,201,294 others

ynhorner had the best view at monaco 🏎️

(ps. i hope my dad isn't using his instagram right now)

christianhorner I have no words....

ynhorner see u at home 😘

redgirlz LMAOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY

maxverstappen ??? Hello

ynhorner hi, max :)

daylightcharles if years ago you told me christian horner's own daughter would be openly supporting ferrari i would have laughed in your face

hamilecs not charles liking this 😭

sainzlines QUEEN DO U PLAN ON WATCHING SOMEDAY AT FERRARI'S GARAGE 🎤🎤

ynhorner i would if i'd still be my dad's daughter afterwards

ynhorner

liked by christianhorner, landonorris, pierregasly, and 1,028,248 others

ynhorner i may scream "forza ferrari sempre" during race weekends, but i am my dad's daughter still 🫡

therealgerihalliwell There we go, Dad was waiting for you to wear that 😊

ilpredestinato she is me and i am her (i too, would support ferrari to hell and back)

lovesgasly my ferrari queen ❤️

britcedesbros LOVE THE JACKET drop the link pls 🙏

ynhorner dad brought it home after seeing me check out another ferrari cap 😆

ynhorner recently added to her instagram story!

ynhorner

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, therealgerihalliwell, and 1,019,294 others

ynhorner clearing my gallery so enjoy this race week’s dump! life's good when i'm not torn between two teams; i can bust my lungs out to "super max" and forza ferrari my way every sunday ❤️

queensland mother pls tell me that man is just an uber driver

charlierari That's literally Charles 😭 loverslane reaching we can't even see the face???

paddockgirlie MAM IS THAT CHARLES PLS SPEAK INTO THE MIC

ynhorner i think my lawyer says i'd rather not say anything 😅

maxverstappen Glad to know "Super Max" is on your playlist

ynhorner are you kidding? i play that when i drive so i can get to where i'm going faster christianhorner Your karting races are not an excuse for you to overtake whenever you want, Y/N ynhorner it's okay i'm driving a ferrari anyway :D

ynhorner

liked by therealgerihalliwell, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, and 1,503,994 others

ynhorner okay maybe there's another reason why i love ferrari, but it's really not my fault they signed someone so breathtaking and loveable to be their driver 🤷‍♀️

merchamilton someone check up on christian quick

sainzzzzham Y/N IS UR DAD OKAY 😭

ynhorner oh don't worry about him, i'm sure he'll be fine!

charles_leclerc Saw the sign today, apparently that's why you sent me out to buy red poster board?

ynhorner yes, gotta stick to my ferrari girl agenda

paddocklovez MY NEW PARENTS ❤️

maxverstappen Finally, growing tired of hiding Charles when he visits the garage 😐

christianhorner So you were in on this? maxverstappen For legal reasons, I will be blocking you.

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tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant (lmk if anyone else wants to be part of my taglist!)

notes: tysm for reading <3

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sinner-sunflower · 21 days

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P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 2/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14

Writing this while listening to Christian songs is my process lajsdlkajkld

You guys need to listen to the soundtrack of Journey to Bethlehem. What bangers and amazing pieces!

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Once they got inside, Charlie locks the hotel up using keekee.

Vaggie: You sure that will hold them up?

Charlie: Of course! Besides if any of them try to sneak in then I'm sure Razzle and Keekee will keep them out yes? Yeah? Awww yes you will~

Charlie gushes on her guardians for one more minute before moving close to where her dad was seated on the couch.

Charlie: You okay, dad?

Lucifer: I'm fine, sweetie. Just a little dizzy. I've been using that ability more in thebpast few months than I ever did for 10000 years. It's always draining.

Alastor has disappeared, probably in the kitchen making her dad tea.

Cherri: Not gonna lie. That was kinda hot.

Angel: Yeah. You gotta keep doing whatever that was when you can, short king. Preferably when I'm there to see it. You know, I give full consent for you to do that to me in be-

Charlie: Angel!

Angel: What?

Alastor: Do you never think before you speak, Angel?

Saved by the radio demon. Lucifer smirks as gladly accepts the tea handed to him.

Angel: I'm just here expressing my feelings, Al! And princess, didn't you say that was a redeeming quality.

Vaggie: You are so lucky Lucifer- uh sir- is not killing you on the spot.

Angel: Hehe sorry, handsome. Just a lil fun~

Lucifer chuckles at this. Charlie sure did find some funny individuals.

Lucifer: None taken, Angel. And Vaggie, I told you to stop calling me sir. Lucifer is fine, or if you want.. dad.

Vaggie blushed so so golden that she went to hide in her girlfriend's shoulders in embarrassment.

Vaggie: okay… Lucifer sir.

The King of Hell chuckles in amusement. Well, he'll take what he can get.

Someone clears their throat causing everyone to look at the source.

Lucifer: What is it, Satan?

Satan: As cute as this is, I think we need to discuss what happened earlier.

Lucifer: Can I say anything that will make you guys just drop it?

Various statements from All: Nope. No. Sorry, shorty. Nuh uh. I don't believe so, my dear.

He sighs.

Lucifer: Worth a shot.

When Lucifer doesn't make a move to speak, Charlie kneels before him to hold his hands in hers. There's ringing in his ears.

Charlie: Dad..

Fatherdamnit! Why is he so weak when it comes to his baby girl? He's the Devil for fucks sake and-

And… he's a father first.

Lucifer: It was my brother. Michael.

Everyone's eyes widened in shock except for the Sins. They knew who it was but what they want to know is why.

Angel: Woah woah woah! Like St. Michael the Archangel ?? From the Bible??

Lucifer: Angel, I'm from the Bible.

Angel: Oh yeah.

Charlie: Do you think this is about the last extermination?

Vaggie: But that was already a few months ago. If Heaven had a problem with what happened, I'm pretty sure that we'd hear from them much earlier. Unless..

Husk: It could be cos of the mess in the 7th ring?

Lucifer doesn't answer any of them again. Instead, he looks on to the Heaven shaped planet in the sky.

Asmodeus: Luci… is a war coming?

Lucifer: I can't answer that.

Liar. Why are you lying again? You know why Michael did that. They can help. They will listen!

Alastor: Cannot or won't, my Majesty?

He should've known Alastor will see right through him. Smiling prick.

Lucifer: Does it matter?

The demon's grin doesn't falter.

Alastor: I do not know, my King. Does it?

The faint ringing in his ears is getting louder. He can't ignore it for long.

He stands and dusts himself off.

Lucifer: I don't have time for this. I need to go to Heaven as soon as possible. Preferably right now.

Loud protests echoed in the hotel lobby as soon as he said it.

Alastor: Mon ange, let us not be too hasty.

Satan: Are you fucking kidding me?!

Leviathan: No way.

Mammon: So it is a war???

Ozzie: On your own?!

Bee: What if they kill you?? One of us will go with you.

Belphegor: At least take someone from the Ars Goetia. I'm sure Paimon would gladly give you a strong familiar.

Angel: I make stupid choices so I know this is stupid- ow! The hell, bitch??

Vaggie: Shut up, Angel. But they're right, Lucifer sir. And sorry but what brought this on?

Charlie: Let me come with you atleast.

That's it.

Lucifer: No!

That stopped the talking atleast.

Lucifer: I need to talk to Michael and I'm pretty sure he's not going to come down here. And no, I am not going to take anyone with me. It's too dangerous, Charlie. Don't worry, he's not gonna kill me up there. Just… I promise I'll explain what I can after but right now… I need to go

He can see the Sins about to argue again but he gave them the softest look he can muster and it did the trick because they all clammed up.

Lucifer: Do you trust me?

The look they give him makes him reminiscent the beginning. A time of nothing and all he had was Lilith and the newly born Sins. He sometimes forgets that they were still a lot younger than him and for a long time, he was all they got.

Satan: Of course.

He hopes the smile he gives them is reassuring enough. They melt into his hold as he rans a hand through their faces to cup them.

Lucifer: Good. Take care of my daughter and Hell, okay?

Finally appraoching Charlie and her friends, he draws small pentagrams that embedded themselves unto their skins.

Lucifer: These will act as a ward to anything that poses as a danger to you. Consider it a gift from me.

He locks eyes with Alastor and they form a silent agreement.

His deer takes his hand and bends down to kiss it.

Alastor: With my soul, my love.

Lucifer smiles and suddenly a golden flurry engulfs him, tranforming him back to what he originally looked like before Roo.

When Leviathan gave him a look, he waves in dismissal.

Lucifer: I don't need Michael or Heaven knowing about all this mess. As far as they're concerned, Roo never happened.

He calls upon Keekee, who turned into a key to open a golden portal. Vaggie can see that wherever he opened it, it wasn't the pearly gates of Heaven. It looked like… a room? And since when was Lucifer allowed to open any door in Heaven on his own? This is all suspicious if you ask her. But she bites her tongue.

Before the King could step in, he was grabbed by the arm. He looks back to see his daughter having a tight grip on his wrist.

Lucifer: Char-char?

Charlie: Come back, dad. Okay?

He wishes he just lived a normal life with his beloved little girl.

Lucifer: Promise…. Love you.

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Found the comic with the baby Sins thanks to user @s-arina!

Baby Sins Comic by aogs_47777

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skelebellie · 3 months

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okay this is something i’ve been thinking about since watching hazbin hotel

tdlr: the four horsemen and its correlation to hell, heaven, and power of overlords.

so, i’ve been doing a lot of research about christianity for a hazbin hotel oc/persona, bc i was *accidently* put into a christian cult/future megachurch as a child and this is what they call healing. as such, i’ve been doing research into the book of revelations vs. the book of ezekiel. SPECIFICALLY the interpretation of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. typically these are interpreted as death/pestilence, war, conquest, and famine. now, there’s two interpretations of the four horsemen. one where its interpreted as the four horsemen being on the ‘good’ side since their released by jesus/lamb of god/lion of judas by unlocking 4/7 seals of the book in gods right hand.

the other, which I interpret more, is the idea that the four horsemen of the apocalypse dont belong to a side. their whole shtick is that they enact chaos and destruction by virtue of gods will in order to prep for the rapture. their very existence is contradictory of each other, to be an enactment of god (which is considered good or holy), yet enacting destruction and chaos.

which brings me to this little thought.

i wondered /what/ gives a sinner power in hell. we’ve seen that deals certainly do something, but it seems as if some demons just spawn in hell with a shit ton of power. at first i thought ‘oh yeah its gotta be dependent on how bad they are or what sins they committed’, but that DOESNT MAKE SENSE. 1) (i only number this and nothing else) alastor is one of the most powerful sinners in the pride ring yet even he has a moral code (re: vizies q+a answer about alastor having similar morals to dexter). And for someone like Valentino, who I would argue as the most ruthless evil motherfucker out there, to have less power than a walking and talking TV, it just doesn’t make sense. Of course- the originals sins we see in Helluva Boss are going to be powerful because they are the original sins, but what about everyone else, about humans.

That’s what the rapture is about, clearing the earth and saving the “good” people, the idea that humanity has become too poisoned and we need to start over (they shit on humanity for 90% of the show, justifiably). But the four horseman represent everything in humanity that remains eerily constant. there was always been war, famine, death/pestilence, and a need to control others (conquest). they are but facets of what already exist. so what if a sinners (previously humans) powers come from their enactment of these principles during their living life. Alastor embodies a lot of famine (cannibalism) and death (serial killer), Vox has a need to control (conquest) others, Carmilla literally runs her entire company based on the fact that people need weapons to fight against angels (war).

and it would make sense why adam, despite being the supreme douche leader that he is, hasn’t been cast out of hell. he does what he does because he believes its a necessarily act, but all it does it scream war and death like a 5 year old on caffeine. the four horsemen do not choose a side, so no matter where their represented, heaven or hell, its still a justifiable fuel for power.

anyways autism speaks and sure is it loud. this is a very whishy washy theory but i think it’s an interesting idea and i am 100% down from criticism from people who understand the bible way more than me.

#hazbin vox #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin alastor #angel dust #alastor #lucifer #helluva boss #hazbin hotel theory #charlie morningstar #vaggie #hazbin hotel adam

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dxmeriberry · 3 months

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If hell is forever than heaven must be a lie

yk i gotta say I’m grateful for what this show is trying to say about the Christian narrative regarding heaven and hell, salvation, damnation, and its underlying hypocrisy.

like…(sorry rant coming) i spoke to my dad today, (who is a priest). And something really awful happened at my work place yesterday that I can’t even say online because of potential legal ramifications.

But even though we don’t talk much, I was missing my dad and told him what happened. And what did I get?

A 30 minute lecture on why I need God in my life 😑

And in the midst of debating, I thought about this show and how it was all so clear - Hazbin’s message that the rules of who gets saved and who gets eternal damnation are arbitrary and ridiculous because they’re made up.

But for Christians like my dad, they don’t understand that the absoluteness of Christian and religious faith is flawed. You can only believe and practice is this one specific way and if you don’t, you’ve rejected God and therefore he rejects you.

So I’m glad that shows like this exist, that are rewriting these stories and teaching us what it really means to love, have empathy, and be human.

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #hazbin #lucifer morningstar #charlie morningstar

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thesimulacrasimp · 3 months

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Ah shit, here we go again!

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 5-6 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Ok i literally was waiting so much to see Lucifer n Lilith being a really happy and cute maried couple and now yall telling me that THEY DIVORCED??????? IM LITERALLY CRYIN WHAHT??? 😭

and OMG LUCIFER. HES SUCH A BABY, SWEETIE, SCRUNKY, CUTIE PATOOTIE!!! HES SO SILLY, I WISH I HAD DAD LIKE HIM. JUST LOOK AT HIM OH MAI GAHD

And his voice is really cool too! Not really what i expected him to sound like but still good! N the way he speaks is really funny too:

"Oh the applause! Oh please, thank u, thank u.. oh gOD WHO AM I KIDDING, THIS SUCKS!!"

"Daughter callin-- Da-DAU-DAUGHTER CALLING??? OH---"

"TAKE THAT, DEPRESSION!"

"Oh my golly!! You like girls!! SO DO I, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!!!!"

Hes ABSOLUTELY my 2nd fave character after Vox. Hes such a sweetheart i cant---

Also can we talk about how Alastor said "Fuck you" to a KING OF HELL? LIKE I KNOW THAT THIS KING IS NOT REALLY KINGING BUT STILL I WOULDNT HAVE BALLS TO SAY THAT TO LUCIFER HIMSELF.

Also the fact that Alastor was immediatly so pissed when Luci just steped into hotel is really strange. Maybe something happened between them that we dont know so far? Cuz purposely making Luci mad literally 5 secs after u met each other is really weird.

AND OMG THIS SONG IS TOTALLY NEW FAVOURITE BY NOW, THEY LITERALLY DID AN ELECTRO SWING SONG LIKE HELL YEAH!!! N THE FACT THAT LUCI OUT OF NOWHERE STARTS PLAING VIOLIN AGGRESSIVELY AND THEN SHUTS ALASTOR UP WITH AN ACCORDION IN THIS IS THE BEST TGING EVER.

i dont know how i think bout Mimzy rn. All i gotta say is she have a really cool singing voice!

And this shot is really adorable

Ok we actually now know from Husk that someone actually having Alastors soul! Just think about it: someone have AN OVERLORDS SOUL. Not ex-overlord like Husk, AN ACTUAL OVERLORD. Is this even possible??

This last song made me cry (again). I feel so bad for Luci, he was abandoned by heaven n he just doesnt want the same fate for his beautiful daughter, cuz she is the only thing he live for (i want him to be my dad so much omg..)

Also when Lilith took little Charlie away from Luci, it was sad, but it actually made me think, what if Lilith will be an antogonist? What if she will be the bad person? Maybe the main vilian even. I think if that will actually happen everyone will go CRAZY. But thats just my lil thought.

Ok, 6th ep! I actually didnt expect that we will see heaven so soon!

Ok but sir Pentious is GOT CRUSH ON CHERRI BOMB??? WHA??? THAT WAS SOMETHING I REALLY DIDNT EXPECT

Also i expected heaven to be much more strict place with many rules, where noone is alowed to swear. But turned out that its actually just a hell with better people and more rules, thats all. And its actually really strange that u can swear in heaven. Im not talking about Adam n Lute, cuz theyre exterminators and clearly just awhul ppl, this guy infront of heavens gates actually said fuck. Maybe im just wrong, but isnt swearing unacceptable in christianity?..

Also HELL YEAH we nailed it! We were right about Vaggie being a fallen angel. But the reason why she fell.... She was an exterminator and literally just didnt kill one child (which is really shows us that she have a kind heart) BUT SHE WAS EXPELED FOR IT IN SUCH HORRIBLE WAY.

I JUST DONT HAVE ENOUGH RAGE TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS. I REALLY HOPE WHEN HEAVEN DECIDES TO REDEEM PPL FROM HELL, THEY BOTH WILL GO TO FUCKING HELL FOR ALL THOSE VILENCE THEY BROUGHT TO WORLD, THAT WOULD BE FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Also Cherri Bomb is being kinda toxic friend to Angel n i dont like that.

ALSO ANGEL STOOD UP AGAINST VAL!! HELL YEAH, SLAY SPIDERBOI!!! IM LITERALLY NOT SCARED OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM WHEN HE WILL GO BACK TO HIS JOB!! IM NOT SCARED AT ALL!!!!

Ok this last song WAS SO EPIC!! ESPECIALLY WHEN CHARLIE N EMILY DID UNO REVERSE ON ADAMS SONG FROM EP 1!!

AND THAT PART WHEN ADAM REVEALED THAT VAGGIE IS AN ANGEL WAS SO EPIC TOO I LITERALLY GOT CHILS

and Charlies reaction to that was actually really heartbreaking

And everything ended up with Adam winning. I really hope that justice will overtake in this whole situation and Charlies plan will work. And im really interested to see Charlie n Vaggies relationships after that reveal. I honestly think that Charlie will forgive her, but its still really interesting.

Wow, it took me long enough to make this post.. I really like direction this show goes, n i can not wait for the next 2 eps!!

My thoughts/review on eps 1-2

My thoughts/review on eps 3-4

My thoughts/review on eps 7-8

#those reviews on hh is kinda a tradition on my blog now. isnt it lmao?#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin angel dust #lucifer morningstar #spoilers warning

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angel-noaxod · 2 years

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More redacted incorrect quotes because I saw these and find them hilarious

Asher: Hey baabe, nice hair ;)

Baabe: Thank you Ash

Asher: I'll bet it would look nice balled up in my fist when we-

Milo: WHEN HE HOLDS YOUR HAIR BACK AS YOU KISS THE GROUND PRAISING THE LORD JESUS. AMEN.

*Back in highschool*

Davey: Did you have any trouble with the homework, Ash?

Asher: Piece of cake :)

Davey: You didn't do it, did you?

Asher: I don't even know where my pencil is.

Baabe: Does anyone have a flashlight?

Asher: You're the only light I need, Baaaabe

Angel: That's great but we still can't fucking see

Angel, texting: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND BAABE?!

Asher, texting: WE'RE FUCKING

Asher: GETTING*[NOT DELIVERED]

Asher: DRINKS[NOT DELIVERED]

Angel: oh yk what i dont wanna know more

Asher: WAIT[NOT DELIVERED]

Angel: fuck you

Asher: Fuck youu

Davey: Guys, no fighting in the group chat.

Angel: Ash said you're the worst cook ever

Davey: Oh fuck him.

Angel: Hey Davey! I made you this cool bracelet.

Davey: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.

Angel: Ah well you don't have to wear it-

Davey: No I'm gonna wear it forever, back off.

Angel to Davey: Baby boy. Baby.

Angel to Christian: Evil.

*roadtrip*

Asher: Can you move your seat up?

Milo: No.

*The drive back*

Milo: You're not gonna move your seat up are you.

Asher: Nope.

Darling: Hey David. I think I might be lactose intolerant.

Davey: Why's that- ohmygod

Darlin: Yea I drink from a jug of milk earlier and then I threw up

Davey: TANK THERE'S A KNIFE IN YOUR STOMACH

Darlin, looking at their stomach: Oh yeah I forgot that was there

Darlin: Anyway, like I was saying, I had some milk-

Christian: That outfit makes you look like a girl.

Asher:

Asher: Am I a pretty girl?-

Milo: What was the hardest thing to say?

Christian: I was wrong

Davey: I need help

Asher: Wor- Worche- Worsh- Worchester- Worsheshester- Worchester sauce- Worcestershire-

Asher: Now you don't want Tank to die

Asher: And I don't want Tank to die

Asher: Now we just gotta make sure Tank doesn't want Tank to die

Davey: Good plan but have you met Tank?

Davey, on his knees after tripping hard: What the hell are you looking at?

Angel: You. You're looking quite submissive and breedable sitting like that Davey

Davey: Well thank you,

Davey: Now help me up you little shit

Sweetheart when them and Milo met: I'll steal anything that you have

Milo: You won't steal my heart

Sweetheart: You look stunning by the way

Milo under his breath: Fuck.

Milo: And these fuckers won't shut up about the height

Angel:

Angel: I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Baabe: You can't kill everyone that disrespects David

Angel: Watch me.

Davey:

Angel, storming into Davey's office: I cannot stand Christian!

Davey: What did he do this time?

Angel: BITCH OVER THERE BREATHING LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE

Asher: *Throws a lamp at Milo*

Milo: What the fuck Ash?!

Asher: Lighten the fuck up.

Angel: Mcdawnald's Davey...Want a beesechurger..

Davey: Please. It's 3:00 am. You have work tomorrow.

Angel: c h i n k e n n u g g i e

Christian: You're bi? How are you bi if you're dating a guy?

Angel: I EAT SALAD DOES THAT MEAN I'M A VEGETARIAN?!

Angel: Keep it up Chrissy and I'll fuck your girlfriend.

Davey being sarcastic (not really because he really does think this): How is the most amazing mate in the world?

Angel in full work mode and still typing not looking up: I don't know Davey, how are you?

Davey, choking: I'm fine-

#redacted asmr #redacted davey #redacted david #redacted shaw pack #redactedasmr #redacted angel #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #redacted asher #redacted babe #redacted christian #redacted incorrect quotes

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ms-cartoon · 3 months

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I gotta be for real, I actually like this episode. The only reason why is because Vox is introduced and I'm starting to like Vox. He might be my favorite character second to Husk. As a matter of fact, I change my mind about what I said about his voice, it actually fits pretty well! Maybe not with his character appearance, but Christian still did a great job fitting the rest of his character.

I also like his rivarly with Alastor as well as their song! Though I wish the musical number had less talking in it since it was hard for me to keep up.

Now that I got my positivity out of the way, let's start complaining.

WARNING: SPOILERS!!!

-- Alex Brightman as Sir Pentious does NOT work for me. He doesn't match with the pilot voice actor at all. It's too high-pitched and annoying.

-- It's kinda off topic and I should've brought it up earlier, but Vaggie's voice acting is off too. Stephanie doesn't sound completely bad. She still fits the role sorta, but at the same time, she also sounds dead, like she doesn't have much emotion in her when she speaks, unlike her pilot version.

-- As expected, the three V's don't seem much of a threat AT ALL. They're so unserious, that you forget they're overlords. Their dialogue is like they're still in high school especially Val being the youngest baby of the litter. Honestly, I think Vox acts much more of a villainous overlord than the other two. He may not look it, but he still fits the role and is much more serious than the other two.

-- Valentino is NOTHING like how he's portrayed in the addict video or the comics. In the comics and music vid, he actually looked like someone you don't wanna mess with in any circumstances. And with the way Angel Dust gets so nervous around him, you'd think he'd look and sound like someone we're supposed to see as abusive and controlling. Not to mention that he's an overlord so he's most likely powerful than he seems to be. But in the show, all I see is a stupid, whiny little brat who throws a temper tantrum when pissed off and is babied by Vox who feels he needs to "calm him down."

-- And what is up with his voice???? No disrespect to the voice actor, but this is NOT what I was expecting him to sound like. So Val is supposed to be hispanic, but dude keeps falling in and out of his spanish accent. It's like he can't even decide whether to stick with it or not. Whoever voice directed him didn't do the best job. Also, this is mostly a preference, but I also pictured him to have a rather deeper and sleezing tone in his voice, along with some sass.

-- Valentino: "That slippery twink is gonna remember who owns him. I'm going to f**k everyone in that rancid shithole, I swear to god!"

Yeah okay Slickback

Val is fully aware that Alastor works at the hotel now. Alastor, the same scary-ass demon that could even take on Lucifer in a fight. Not to mention Lucifer's daughter is currently owning that hotel. What makes Valentino think he could even stand a chance against either of them??

-- Angel Dust: This chump was trying to kill us, like, 6 hours ago. Now you wanna bring him in here to live with us??"

Why does Angel care so much about Pentious staying in the hotel?? Dude doesn't even take the snake seriously enough to even care about him being around. Is he worried about him trying to kill him or something? If so, where was this care when you got involved in the turf war with Cherri or when he showed up to try and kill Alastor? All he ever did was mock Sir pentious with his carefree attitude.

-- Charlie: I'm so excited to have our first real guest!

Angel Dust: What the hell am I then??

Umm . . . NOT their guest. You were a TEST SUBJECT. They brought you in to see if the chances to be redeemed and sent to heaven are possible, except you never cared enough to compromise. Don't be surprised that their not giving you the same treatment.

-- Vaggie: "You constantly make us look bad, sexually harrass the staff, and never once tried to improve.

I mean- she ain't lying. Is Angel Dust making a sad face supposed to make me feel bad or something, cuz . . . . it isn't. He didn't even participate in the game Charlie was trying to set up calling it "stupid", which further proves Vaggie's point. If you want approval so badly, actually try to compromise. Doesn't even seem like he can make up his mind about it anyway. He'll find all this redemption activity to be stupid and a waste of time, but then looks at Charlie praising Sir Pentious instead of him and he'll start to act all sad and jealous??? Like dude- PICK A LANE!!

-- Not that the way Angel's acting makes sense anyway. In the pilot, and even in the addict video, it is clear as day that he doesn't give a shit about the Habzbin Hotel! He doesn't even wanna behave and he doesn't trust the idea of sinners redeeming themselves. He wasn't even all that friendly with Charlie or Vaggie. Now in this episode, he'll start to feel all bad and jealous when Charlie is praising Sir Pentious. It's like Viv can't make up her mind on how she wants Angel to feel.

-- Also Vaggie openly calls out Angel Dust for sexually harassing the staff and the fans (including Viv) will look at this as "Haha heehee, that's funny" and not "Eww! What is wrong you? That's disgusting!"

-- Instead of sounding like Angel's pimp, Val sounds more like an crazy ex-boyfriend in the dozens of voicemails he sent. Am I really supposed to take him seriously as a villain???

-- Angel was chugging a bottle of booze like its a Gatorade bottle. Idk why, but something about that bugged me, lol!

-- This is a genuine question I don't get, so feel free to answer. When Angel catches Sir Pentious setting up the spy camera like he was instructed by Vox to do, how does he immediately assume Pen is working for the three V's?? Is it cuz of the camera? Does he recognize it as belonging to Vox??

-- Once again, I don't understand why Angel cares so much about what Sir Pentious does since it's been shown how much he doesn't care about the Hotel. So it doesn't make any sense why he's angry and trying to stop him. Also, what causes him to jump Sir Pentious is when he's called a whore by him! WHY??? Back at the pilot, he was called a slut by Travis and didn't give much of a reaction, back-talking him. Which only shows he doesn't care about what people's opinions are of him. He'll be called a tramp and he'll reply with an "i don't care" smile. However, with Sir Pentious, he's immediately triggered and attacks him?? Something tells me that Angel's character is a whole other retcon. Viv can't decide if she wants him to be someone with a devil-may-care attitude who doesn't care about redemption or someone who really does want to change his ways and cares about the well-being of Charlie and the rest of the characters.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #vivziepop #hazbin criticism #hazbin critique #hazbin critical #hazbin hote critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #anti hazbin hotel

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hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog · 3 months

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Vox: Why can I never say to to him? …what's that smell?

Store Clerk: 'Subtext'. It's our new fragrance.

I saved this ask specifically so I could gush about this song relating to Alastor and Vox once I was coherent enough to do so:

Oh my god can I start off by saying how good Christian Borle sounds here, I've not heard his performance as Emmett before now. Anyway this is of course as we discussed relating to Alastor finding Vox shortly after he fell into hell and it being part of the process of getting him on his feet because of their immediate connection, enough backstory

"You gotta look the part if you want to get ahead!" aka if you want to survive in this world you have to at least seem professional while you're working on actually getting to the top

The part where Alastor asks if Vox trusts him and he genuinely does vs Vox in later years manipulating people into trusting him

"Think of the people you want to impress" this is after they already had the concept of Alastor assisting Vox in honing his new power as well

Of course the part you quoted that's A Major Part of it that's killing me

In the song that states "I'm in the hands of Elle" Vox has quickly learned of Alastor's established reputation and thinks there's no one better he could be with

"Thats the best part, the outside is new but now it reflects what's already in you" Screaming crying throwing up that's what got me to begin with

The following line of seeing past to her mind, changing that to being mildly impressive that Vox was never really intimidated by/afraid of him

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

#ask #favorite #legally hazbin

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cheesus-doodles · 1 year

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Why do I feel like Taiju - like Izana - doesn’t give too much of a crap over his kids? (Because mans has a kink he claimed is his christian values of procreation so there will be many baby Shibas running about)

Like maybe he cares marginally in a way that he views them as offspring, his legacy, living proof of your union and whatnot…but like Izana if he had to pick he’d always choose us. Plus he’s not above using them as leverage to get us to behave.

In retrospect there are probably few tr yanderes that genuinely care about their children. I can see Mitsuya, Baji, kakucho and draken for sure in terms of honest to goodness love. The middle of the pack like koko maybe Inui, the Haitani bros…do care but it’s a majorly stems from either a twisted sense of possession or a macabre family portrait. The tail end is where izana, Mikey, kisaki, Haruchiyo come in.

Kind of rambled there, I swear i just was going to focus on Taiju and I spiraled. it’s my take on it, but i would love your opinion on this if it isn’t too much of an ask. Be well and have a great day!

Link to Taiju's birthday fic

Masterlist

‎

ahh merry christmas, happy holidays and happy new year to everyone! since christmas just passed you know we gotta give some love to our favourite christian delinquent boy - sorry it took so long to get back to you kind anon!

Actually I think when it comes to their children, Taiju and Izana would be complete opposites as opposed to being on the same side.

Taiju would be the one that would actually make the effort to be a present, loving father to all his little Shiba children. Which yes would be one for the above mentioned reason of Christian values (cough definitely got nothing to be with his kink or rather you'll never get him to admit it cough), and two, getting you pregnant again when you start getting restless helps keep you dependent and pliant. Helps that he loves seeing you round with another kid and having to ask him for help when you stop being able to waddle around the house - which he is more than happy to do so, bridal carrying you everywhere.

I feel that Taiju does love his children to a certain degree, especially since its the ones he had with you even if it is no where close to his love for you, but he isn't 100% opposed to sharing the light of his life with them and does see the value in keeping them on his side. Taking good care of them would mean that they would be more inclined to listen to their father when he asks them to do something for the "benefit" of their mama, plus you wouldn't have to spend so much time looking out of them instead of looking after him. This boy definitely isn't above using your children as leverage when he needs to, and in fact its usually with the cooperation of his children. Having them help keep an eye on you while he is at work, making sure you stay home and out of the public's eyes, taking your breaks as needed, and then telling them to ignore you or send them to their uncle or aunt's place; children come in useful when their father is as charismatic as Taiju, though no doubt they love the affection from their mama more.

Taiju won't see his children as a threat to you, be they male or female - of course he would always pick you over them if it came down to it, but he wouldn't be in any hurry to kick his children out or send them away for school to get them away from you. As long as they keep in line that is, and don't make any attempts to separate him from the love of his life. And Hakkai and Yuzuha help to remind the little Shibas whenever they get the opportunity to - no one is in any hurry to find out what the old Taiju re-emerging would look or feel like.

Others that I feel would also fall into this category would be yes Koko, Inupi and Rindo, but none of them would care to have as many children as Taiju - maybe at most two or three, which would the limits of their tolerance.

‎

Izana on the other hand is a hell lot more possessive over you - this boy would absolutely give little to zero shits about his kid because he is already your baby, and would only have that one child because he doesn’t like having your attention off of him even for a single minute. Only had a kid because honestly they were a mistake and Izana hadn't realized that babytrapping you was going to lead to you having a baby. Sometimes thoughts just do not pass through his head fully, but at least realizes that you were now tied very permanently to him, and your child would be living proof of your union with him. Gets very jealous very easily, and would insist that you pamper him even more than usual to "make up" for the attention you were giving his kid. Sometimes would take the time and effort to parade his child around to show them off and indirectly show you off to others, though its not unusual for this big baby to sometimes just choose to ignore the fact that he even has a child when he is pouting.

Definitely uses his child as leverage over you, strictly controlling the amount of time you get to spend with your baby. Refusing to let you hold the child for any more than necessary when Izana thinks you are misbehaving (usually when he is clingy and in a meltdown thinking that you want to leave him), and rewarding you with more playtime and even outside time when he is in a good mood. Takes a lot of your effort to finally get Izana to acknowledge and internalize that he has a child, and that is when he finally lets loose a little and proceeds to spoil his kid rotten materially. Still stingy with his affection though, and only ever wants to cuddle with you.

But Izana would 100% be the sort to see his child as a threat to you and his relationship with you the more they grow up. Definitely difference in treatment if the child was a boy or a girl - he'll be so much softer if he had a daughter, since she would be no threat in his eyes, even more so if she was a daddy's girl. But if he had a son, ho boy. Would at most tolerate the kid until he was 15 or 16, and then its sending him off to college as far away from you as possible, and making it damn near impossible for him to come back home unless you force the exception, either through taking away cuddling time or being extra nice to him. Any time you get to spend with your kid is heavily restricted and monitored, Izana would most likely even give his son a job just to keep him away from you.

Others that would fall into this category would be Mikey, Kazutora, Sanzu, Kisaki and even Ran, though only Ran would also differentiate between if he had a son or daughter. Kisaki would keep his child around as leverage no matter the gender, and Mikey, Kazutora and Sanzu would have no qualms banishing their kid as soon as they were of age, be it daughter or son.

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alphamalereviewsfanfics · 1 year

Text

CAN YOU TASTE MY LUST? CAN YOU FEEL MY SIN? By Heartofhubris

SUMMARY: “But, the issue had arisen during your nights when he filtered into your dreams. Nights of imagining him taking you in the pews,laying you out on the dark woodtostrip you bare to his whims. When you focused back into the Father, you felt your blush travel up to your ears. The thoughts would only offer more confessions, and you didn’t want to add in more sins you had to confess. “We are all sinners,” Father Ford said.

Enjoy the sacrilege, you damn heathen

Priest Ford AU where he's aware of what he can do and he does it.”

PREGAME: Happy Easter my fellow alphas!!!!! My partner requested this one and I thought it would be silly if I was a bit sacreligious on this holiday because I kinda hate it 😎😎😎 not because of like the religious shit itself but like because the rabbit shit doesn’t compute in my brain and also because of how my family celebrates good ole Easter but what can you do. I’m not catholic, but I was raised pretty non-denominational Christian and I haven’t been to church since I was 10 so like I know nothing about this shit. I’ll take most of my knowledge from watching midnight mass so like if it’s insanely inaccurate to how this catholic shit goes then that’s not on me that’s on the author, who describes themself as “catholicphobic.” Also I only read this twice instead of my usual five times before reviewing so sorry if the review sucks ass that’s just the alpha way though.

REVIEW: When I was younger I desperately wanted to learn latin. I watched this Wes Anderson movie called Rushmore (it was an earlier one so it wasn’t filled with the crazy aesthetics he has now) and I was in love with the idea of taking Latin and going to a Latin club and reviving an almost dead language. It drove me mad and I would try to teach myself Latin with google translate (because duolingo and sites like that weren’t really a thing) and I learned all about the etymology of words in the English language and I was obsessed with it and I would tell everyone what the root of certain words was and it annoyed the shit out of people (especially my sister). Anyways the point of all this is that Latin is not sexy. And it never will be sexy to me. And I don’t know why I was so fucking hung up on the mention of latin because like there aren’t even any latin words in this fic!!!!! It just mentions it!!!! So moral of the story don’t be me. This is pretty well written though bro. The author succeeds with constructing a kinda like repentance vibe in the first few sentences. Like it feels like there’s nothing else to be written besides priest porn. Like that’s the end goal. Even if there wasn’t priest porn in it I would get the vibes of priest porn like just read the first few sentences l think Aw man this’ll either be some good religious horror novel or some killer priest porn. And I respect the hell out of that bro like it got the tone down bro. And like the porn itself is pretty well written like man I’m bewildered that the tone just fit so well bro like I don’t get it I’m baffled bro this is insane!!!!!! Like the porn was so well written bro it has tone and emotion to it you don’t get usually bro trust me. Anyways my partner said they were really into this fic and I gotta support them on that it was well written even if I find the father thing kinda silly but like I don’t know I’ve never tried it. Also priests are silly and I couldn’t see Ford into religion like characterization wise buuut I’m putting the mischaracterization aside because it’s just made for people who want to get off to priest ford pines and I gotta respect that. So if you’re into ford pines and you’re into priest shit this fine Easter Sunday then do some sacrilegious shit and read this fic

RATING: 6/8 fingers (BETA MALE STATUS)

Happy Easter and Ramadan and Passover and death anniversary of Margaret Thatcher my alphas 😎😎💪💪🔥🔥🔥

#alpha review #fanfic review #gravity falls fanfiction #Stanford pines x reader #ford pines x reader #I love my partner and their taste is impeccable

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thesixthimmortal · 7 months

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what do you want

CHPT 1. Enough is Enough!

WARNING: Max being sexist,Swearing, Bullying. Fighting. Toxic(?) relationship between you and max, Break up, a bit out of character???

“Hey-Ho! Heck no! Co-ed dances gotta go!” Was all you Heard as you were standing with your group, Homecoming is coming in a few weeks, Your friends were stoked about it, wanting to drink alcoholic, party and if they were lucky they can also hook up, Max who has his arm around your neck, wanted you and him to be homecoming Queen and King, wanted you and him to rule the homecoming

but you weren’t a party person, shocking right? You don’t drink alcohol, you don’t do party games, especially spin the bottle, Fuck that game.

“What do you mean your not coming to homecoming?!” Max said confused and surprised, it was suppose to be the fun day for the popular kids, It was like a tradition. “I just don’t feel like going Max, I think I wanna stay home for Homecoming” you answered with a sigh as you look up at him “Besides, Why don’t You, Rule the Homecoming, you can do it without me, right?”

“I-Ugh sure I can take over the Homecoming or what-fucking-ever, But it doesn’t feel right without you babe” he says in a sad tone but quickly changed when one of his friends, Jason? Yeah Jason came up to him.

you didn’t pay attention as you look around the hallway, your eyes couldn’t help but look over to the Christian Girl, Grace. She was holding what seems like a billboard written “CANCEL HOME-C*MMING!” With pink and blue as she hands out pink flyers.

“hey Maxie look! It’s Chastity-Belt!” Your thoughts were snapped back to reality as you see one of his friends laughing.

“hey, check this out!” Max said as he takes his arm out of your neck as he then starts walk towards Graces direction, your face turned into confusion, he’s just going to make a comment about her billboard, right? You thought to yourself as you stand back there, luckily you can hear them from where your standing.

“We’ll we’ll we’ll, Isn’t it Grace Chasity” That seem to get Grace attention as she turns around, facing Max “can you keep your annoying voice down, I don’t want your voice ruining everyone’s mood!” He says as Grace just looks up at him with an eyebrow raised “Well I have to Cancel Homecoming somehow, homecomings is just an excuse to kids to dry hump in the gym, I run laps in that gym, and I don’t wanna slip on any wayward spunk.”

Max did a mocking laugh “oh yeah? Well listen here Spunk, I’m gonna rule the Dance and I don’t want you to ruin it for me” he says with what seemed like a serious face “You just saying that so you can get free hookups in the school stalls!” Grace argued back.

“Besides, is not like you are the only one that needs a hookup”

Your face now got furious, what does he mean by that?

“what?!!” Grace said confused

“Don’t act all confused now, we all know what’s behind the closed doors…Dirty girl”

Your eyes widen, Is he being serious right now? There so fucking way, grace face turns shocked with eyes wide open and mixed with surprise.

“Don’t call me that!?!!” Grace said angry, But Max only smirked, it made you furious, as you then walk up to them “but that’s what you are isn’t it? My little Dirty Girl” Now he’s gotten on your last nerve, Is he trying to make you jealous? Is he doing this on purpose? If so then he sucks at it “Max what the fuck?!” You said, as you then aggressively push him, but he didn’t fall, he was bigger, stronger than you, your friends seem to watch the drama afar, grace looked angry, shocked and uncomfortable, “What? I though you were on my side?” “I am! But, You can go drink, Party, Smoke, bully, hell you can do Cocaine if you wanted but, Don’t go around making Everyone here uncomfortable!” You agrued, but he just looked annoyed as he groaned “I’m not making anyone uncomfortable babe! I’m just messing around!” “Messing around? You called fucking Grace Your Dirty Girl! Like it was nothing! You can’t just fuck anyone in front of my face Max!”

“What? You’re on the Nerds side now? What, you gonna protect the Nerdy prudes? Becoming one?” Max then said as he looks to his two friends “Yeah Y/N, They’re just nerdy prudes! They don’t matter!” Kyle said siding with him, “You don’t wanna go to homecoming with me, you are tired of having sex because you need to ‘Focuse on your Exams’” he mocked, you quietly gulp, he hasn’t been this mean to you since fifth grade, it felt weird, unusual seeing your who your about to break up with make fun of you.

but did you care? Fuck no, of course you don’t, You never wanted him, you never wanted to be him, you can be on your own, right?, “what if I am Max? What if I am gonna protect the nerdy prudes? What are you gonna do then?” You said as he start to take a few steps towards you, looking at him face to face, he looked angry, that his ‘girlfriend’ is standing up to him, that you don’t want to rule the school with him, “Fine”

he said as he scoffed “If you wanna protect the nerdy prudes, You then become a nerdy prude!”

“What do you mean by-“ You didn’t even get to process, didn’t even get to finish as a strong fist hardly connected with your stomach, a punch to the stomach, pain goes through your body as shock and pain comes through your face, you cursed out loud as you wrap your arms your your stomach as you drop to your knees as you then drop to the ground, you cough out loud what seems like some blood, it didn’t damage you, but it does leave a bruise on your stomach.

Your friends were shocked, Grace were shocked, even Kyle and Jason was surprised he would do that to you, Max, who were your boyfriend for two half years, punched you in the stomach.

“no one, and I mean no one, TELLS ME WHAT DO TO!” He yells at you as you lay there with knees up to your stomach as your arms still around your sore and bruised stomach, he slowly gets down, getting on one knee as he just looks down at you with anger and disappointment “I thought I loved you, I though The little Y/N/N can take a hit and be my Queen but no…Your just a nerdy prude, just like every fucking NERD!”

you didn’t say anything as you slowly struggle to sit up, now facing Max as pain and anger crossed your face.

“It’s over now L/N, Your not so pretty and popular after all” he then stands up, as he then turns around and walks away, leaving you there on the ground, but you couldn’t care less, but now your his victim, now your not safe anymore.

“Y/N?” Grace finally speaks after a moment of silence, You then get up on your feet, an arm over your stomach, god it hurts like a bitch, “I’m fine, never loved him anyway” you weakly said, turning to face her, you both seem to be the same height, not that your sure of, she looked worried, why would she be worried? Why would she care? You didn’t let her say anything as you just limping away

Grace just watched you limp away, standing there with billboard and flyers in each hand, her face was calm, but million questions goes through her mind.

why did you stop him from bullying her?

why did you care what he said about her?

why did you protect her?

why

Why do you care?

She’s just a nerdy prude after all

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°• Grace Chasity x Bi!FemaleReader

A/N: Max in this timeline is a bitch, didn’t mean to make him so mean, but yay! I wrote a new chapter! Hope you like it!

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd spoilers #grace chasity x reader #max jagerman #fanficton #Lesbian #Bisexual

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layce2015 · 1 year

Text

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Don't Fear The Reaper

Masterlist

"You really think it's THE Grim Reaper? Like, angel of death, collect your soul, the whole deal?" Sam asked me as we sit at the table and we were looking through information about reapers. "No no no, not THE reaper, A reaper. There's reaper law in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names, it's possible that there's more than one of them." I replied.

"But you said you saw a dude in a suit." Sam said "What, you think he shoulda been working the whole black robe thing?" I asked him and Sam shrugs at this. "You said it yourself that the clock stopped right? Reapers stop time. And you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why I could see it and both of you couldn't." I said.

"Maybe." Sam said.

"There's nothing else it could be Sam." I said.

"The question is how is Roy controlling the damn thing?" Dean asked.

"That cross." Sam said.

"What?" Dean and I asked. "There was this cross, I noticed it in the church and I knew I had seen it before." Sam said as he looks through some papers and snorts. He holds a card up to Dean and I.

"Here." He said and Dean leans into take the card and I look over his shoulder.

"A Tarot?" Dean asked. "It makes sense. A tarot dates back to the early christian era right, when some priests were still using magic, and a few of them veered into the dark stuff. Necromancy and how to push death away, how to cause it?" Sam said.

"So Roy's using black magic to bind the reaper?" I asked. "If he is he's riding the whirlwind. It's like putting a dog leash on a great white." Sam said and I run my hands over my face while Dean rises to put his cup in the sink, then leaning back against it.

"Ok then we stop Roy." He said. "How?" Sam and I asked. "You know how." Dean said as he looks between us. "Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy." I said to him. "(Y/n), the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book." Dean growls. "No. We're not going to kill a human being, Dean. We do that we're no better than he is." Sam said, firmly.

"Ok, we can't kill Roy, we can't kill death. Any bright ideas college boy?" Dean asked Sam. "Ok. uh...If Roy's using some kind of black spell on the reaper, we gotta...figure out what it is. And how to break it." Sam said and I nodded. "That's sounds like a better plan." I said.

The Impala bounces down the badly gravelled and potholed road again, passing a sign that says Service Today. We parked and exit the Impala. "If Roy's using a spell, there might be a spell book." Sam said and I nodded. "See if you can find it, Sam." I said as I look at my watch. "Hurry up too, the service starts in fifteen minutes. Dean and I'll try to stall Roy." I said and the boys nodded as a man holds a leaflet out to us.

"Roy LeGrange is a fraud. He's no healer." He said. "Amen Brother." Dean said as he takes the leaflet. "You keep up the good work." Sam said. "Thank you." The man said and Sam went one way while Dean and I headed in towards the tent.

Minutes later, we were walking, slowly, up the side aisle when my phone rings. "What have you got?" I asked after I answer my phone. "Roy's choosing victims he sees as immoral. And I think I know who's next on his list. Remember that protestor?" Sam said.

"What, the guy in the parking lot??" I asked. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll find him. But you guys can't let Roy heal anyone, alright?" Sam said and I hang up the phone and explained to Dean what Sam found out as we move towards the front of the tent

"Liam. Liam Rourke. Come up here child." Roy said and the crowd bursts into pleased apapplause. Liam, stunned, looks around then rises to hug his mother. "Oh man." I said, disparagingly. "Ah, crap." Dean mutters under his breathe.

As Liam passes us, I grasp his arm. "Liam, listen to me. You can't go up there." I said to him. "Why not? We've waited for months!" Liam said, confused. "You can't let Roy heal you." Dean said, warningly, while Liam looked at him, slightly confused. "I don't understand, Roy healed you, (y/n), didn't he? Why can't you let him try?" Liam asked me. "Cause if you do, something bad is going to happen. We can't explain. I just need you to believe us." I said and we stare at each other.

"Liam." Sue Ann said and Liam looks over at her then at me and Dean. "Please." I plead. Liam stares at the hand Sue Ann is offering, then turns back and stares at his mother, who is standing ringing her hands. His mother nods at him. Liam looks at me and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry." He said and he starts to leave. "Liam! Liam!" I said but he ignores me as Sue Ann smiles and puts her arms around Liam and takes him to the stage. "Dear child!" She said as the crowd continues to clap happily. "I knew the Lord was planning. I knew it was just a matter of time." Roy said to Liam as he takes Liam's hand.

Frustrated, I move back to stand near Mrs Rourke, who's crying and covering her face with her hands. "Pray with me friends." Roy said. "C'mon, I got an idea." Dean whispers to me and we make our way to the back corner. Roy then raises his hands and starts to place them on Liam.

"FIRE! Hurry, tent's on fire!!" Dean shouted and everyone starts to rise and evacuate. Mrs Rourke, on the other hand, moves towards the stage to Roy. "NO! No, please. Please don't stop. Reverend, please, please! Please don't stop, please!" She begs while I watch helplessly. "Friends, if you'd all just leave the tent in an orderly fashion...and we'll, uh, and we'll figure out what's giong on out there and we'll come back." Roy said and I pull out my phone and dial up Sam's number.

"We did it, we stopped Roy." I said. "David, I think it's ok." I hear Sam say but then I hear someone scream. "(Y/n), it didn't work. The reaper's still coming!" Sam shouts.

"What? But I stopped it!" I exclaimed. "What's wrong?" Dean asked. "The reaper is stilling coming for the guy." I said to him. "I'm telling you, I'm telling you it didn't work. Roy must not be the one controlling this thing." Sam said.

"Then who the hell is?" I asked then I began to look around.

At the same time, Dean and I spy Sue Ann beside the stage, facing into the corner and reciting. "Sue Ann." Dean and I whispered and I hang up my phone as Dean runs to her and spins her around. She gasps as she was reaching down to hold a cross on a chain around her neck.

She quickly tucks the cross inside her blouse and shouts. "Help! Help me!" Dean backs away, nodding and staring at Sue Ann like he shouldn't have expected anything better. Two cops grab me and Dean, roughly, and pull us away.

The cops manhandle Dean and I through the entry but we shake them off as soon as we were outside. Sue Ann follows close behind then she looks at me. "I just don't understand. After everything we've done for you. After Roy healed you. I'm just very very disappointed, (y/n)." She said but I say nothing as I stare at her. "You can let them go. I'm not gonna press charges. The Lord will deal with them as he sees fit." Sue Ann said and she leaves.

The cops then turn to us. "We catch either of you round here again, we'll put the fear of God in both of you, understand?" The first cop threatened. "Yes sir, fear of God. Got it." Dean said as I nod. The cops give Dean one last push as I turn to find Liam waiting for me.

"Liam?" I said. "Why would you do that (y/n)? And it could have been my only chance." Liam said, upset. "He's not a healer." I said. "He healed you." Liam said.

"We know it doesn't seem fair, and we wish we could explain. But Roy is not the answer, I'm sorry." Dean said and Liam shakes his head, sadly, then turns to me, tears in his eyes. "Good Bye (y/n)." He said and he walks away

I raise my eyes to the sky, then turn to watch him. He turns back. "I wish you luck. I really do." He said. "Same to you." I said, my voice cracking. Liam turns and walks away again. "You deserve it a lot more than me." I whispered under my breath.

"Hey, don't say that." Dean said to me. I look up at him as I feel tears in my eyes. "But it's true, Dean." I said and I start to walk away, Dean following behind me.

"Private session tonight, no interruptions. I give you my word, I'll heal your son." I hear Roy say to Mrs Rourke as we pass by them and walk over to Sam, who was standing nearby. "Thank you reverend. God bless you." Mrs Rourke said as we meet up with Sam and get into the Impala.

"So Roy really believes." Sam said as he sits on the hotel bed. "I don't think he has any idea what his wife's doing." Dean said to Sam. "Well, I found this." Sam said as he hands a little book to Dean. "Hidden in their library. It's ancient. Written by a priest who went dark side. There's a binding spell in here for trapping a reaper." He explains as Dean looks over the book and I look over his shoulder.

"Must be a hell of a spell." I said. "Yeah. You gotta build a black alter with seriously dark stuff. Bones, human blood. To cross a line like that, a preachers wife. Black magic. Murder. Evil..." Sam said. "Desperate. Her husband was dying, she didn't have anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the reaper away from Roy." Dean said.

"Cheating death, literally." I said with a scoff.

"Yeah but Roy's alive, so why is she still using the spell?" Dean asked. "Right. To force the reaper to kill people she thinks are immoral." Sam said.

"May God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work." Dean said. "We gotta break that binding spell, guys." Sam said and Dean flips over a page and we see a picture of a cross, which looked like the one that Sue Ann had.

"You know Sue Ann had a coptic cross like this. When she dropped it the reaper backed off." I said. "So you think we gotta find the cross or destroy the alter?" Sam asked. "Maybe both. Whatever we do we better do it soon, or he's healing Liam tonight." Dean said.

That night, we rolled up to Roy's house without lights and stop. "That's Liam's car. He's already here." Sam said and I nod, sadly. "Yeah." I muttered. "(Y/n)..." Dean said with concern. "You know if Roy woulda picked Liam instead of me, he'd be here right now. And if he's not healed tonight, he's gonna die in a couple of months." I said.

"What's happening to him is horrible. But what are you gunna do? Let somebody else die to save him? Like I said, you can't play God." Dean said to me and I sit there without speaking. I sigh and said. "You're right....you're right." I said then I look up at the boys. "Let's go." I said and we get out of the car.

We approach the tent and peek inside to see Roy speaking to a small group of the faithful, including Liam and his mother. "Gather round, please everyone, gather round. Come in closer, come on up." He said.

"Where's Sue Ann?" I asked. "House." Sam said and we move to the house. "Go find Sue Ann, I'll catch up." Dean said.

"What are you gonna...?" Sam and I asked but he pushes us away then starts to shout. "Hey! You gonna put that fear of God in me?" Dean shouts and he runs off then the two cops run after him.

As soon as they're gone, Sam and I run up the stairs and check around the house, which was in darkness. Sam and I turn back, confused, then I spot a light emerging from the cracks of the outside basement entrance. "Sam." I said and I point at the basement entrance. We move toward the basement entrance, open it and slip inside.

We move quietly through the basement to a candlelit alter littered with parts of dead animals, blood, horns, and other things I couldn't identify. There was a photo, in the middle of the alter, of Dean which was taken from the security camera the first time we were in the tent. His face has been crossed out with what looks like blood.

"I can take his life." A voice said. Sam and I turn around and see Sue Ann standing at the entrance of the basement. Furious, Sam and I tip over the table, the alter is on, then we run at Sue An but she's already up the stairs and closes the hatches and secures it with a beam. We stretch to push against it and keep trying.

"Can't you two see? The Lord chose me to reward the just and punish the wicked. And your brother, Sam, is wicked and he deserves to die just as Liam deserves to live. It is God's will." Sue Ann said.

"You leave him alone!" I shouted as Sam turns to survey the room. "Goodbye Sam and (y/n)." Sue Ann said and I hear her footsteps walking away. I punch the door a few times before Sam pulls a block of wood out from the wall and smashes out a small boarded up window. "(Y/n), c'mon!" Sam said and I run over to him and he helps me through the window.

I climb through then turn and help him out. Both of us run away from the house and towards the tent where we see Sue Ann standing there with the cross in her hand, obviously reciting a spell. Sam grabs it and throws it down on the ground and I stomp on it, breaking a glass bottle of blood

Sue Ann falls to her knees beside the blood. "My God, what have you two done!" She shouts at us. "He's not your God." Sam said and Sue Ann looks up and she has a look of fear, which told me the reaper was here

Terrified, she rises and turns to run but she stops and her mouth was agape, her eyes glaze over and she falls to her knees. She slips to the ground where she convulses a few times before she stops and dies. I let out a small sigh as Sam places a hand on my shoulder. "C'mon." He said and we go look for Dean as we leave Sue Ann lying there.

We make it back to the Impala when we see Dean walking towards us. I run over to him and hug him, he hugs me back as I asked. "You Ok?" I pull back and he shakes his head.

"Hell of a week." He said.

"Yeah...." I said as I walk out of his embrace and the two of us stare into each other's eyes. Then Sam coughs and we turn to look at him. "All right, come on. We should get going." Sam said and we nod in agreement and enter the car.

"What is it?" Dean asked me as I sat there on the hotel bed, staring at nothing. "Nothing." I said and there was a few more seconds of silence before Dean speaks, more gently this time. "What is it?" He asked.

I look up and see him and Sam staring at me with concern. "We did the right thing here, didn't we?" I asked them. "Of course we did." Dean said as Sam nods. "It doesn't feel like it." I said as I hang my head.

Then a knock at the door stops us from talking any further. "I got it." Sam said. He opens the door and Liam was standing at the door. "Hey Liam. Come on in." Sam said as Liam walks in. "Hey." Liam said and Dean and I rise up.

"How did you know we were here?" I asked Liam. "Sam...called. He said you...wanted to say goodbye?" Liam said, embarrassed, as he looks at Dean, nervously. I look over at Sam, who was at the door looking sheepish. "I'm gonna...grab a soda. Uh...Dean...do you wanna...?" Sam asked and Dean looks over at Sam then at me. I nod at Dean, assuring him that it's okay, and he goes over to Sam and the boys leave, closing the door behind them.

"So, uh. Where are you going?" Liam asked me, once we were alone. "Don't know yet. Our work kinda takes us all over." I said, shrugging. Liam looks at me for a moment before he speaks. "You know...I went back to see Roy." He said and I nod.

"What happened?" I asked as he sits down on one of the beds. "Nothing. He laid his hands on my forehead but nothing happened." He said and I sit beside him

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it didn't work." I said. "And Sue Ann. She's dead you know? Stroke." Liam said. "Yeah I heard. You know Roy's a good man. He doesn't deserve what's happened." I said and the two of us stare at each other.

"Must be rough. To believe in something so much, and have it disappoint you." I said and he smiles. "You wanna hear something weird?" He asked me. I shrug and he continues. "I'm Ok. Really. I guess if you're gonna have faith...you can't just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don't." He said.

"So what now?" I asked him and Liam smiles softly. "God works in mysterious ways." He said. Then Liam lays his hand softly on the side of my face, staring at me. "Good Bye, (y/n)." He said and he rises and moves toward the door. I closes my eyes for a second, remaining still. Then I stand up and face Liam.

"Well...." I said, my voice cracking, then I clear my throat as Liam turns back to face me. "I'm not much of the praying type...but...I'm gonna pray for you." I said and I could see Liam's eyes were shining with unshed tears. "Well...There's a miracle right there." He said. He turns and leaves the room, leaving me standing there and staring at the door.

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