#the fact i have ANY connection at all is kind if fucked honestly it shows you really REALLY do not get to choose
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The pushback to the term "cultural Christianity" from atheists is real odd to me because, as someone who has been an atheist since 13, only ever went to church a handful of times never with my own family (made a note never to sleep over at that friends house on a Saturday again bc I HATED church it smelled like shit, was boring, pews are uncomfortable as fuck, and the religious people I knew were all wildly misogynistic and I've never been here for being told I was less of a person for being Born Like This), and generally had no actual connection to Christianity in a meaningful way but still only knows Christian mythology, has been steeped in Christian values I had to untangle, and my religious understandings are still deeply Christian.
Like Ive never paid attention to the bible, church, Jesus, Christian teachings, or whatever but if you asked me about any religion the one I'll reliably know the most about is Christianity. I don't know why atheists are offended by being called culturally Christian because they have bad blood with the religion because like sorry bruh that doesn't mean you're less indoctrinated by Christian values if the culture you grew up in is predominantly Christian. In fact I'd say that religion being this ubiquitous in the culture regardless of anyone's consent to exactly ONE religion being shoved down our throats is reason to team up with other religious folks who ALSO don't like being constantly evangelized to by the culture at large, not a reason to throw a fit because you don't like being tied to a religion that is so ingrained into the culture that shit like "oh my god" and "Jesus Christ" are common expressions of surprise regardless of how atheist you are. Like surely I'm not the only atheist to notice the shocking amount of cultural religious shit that works it's way into my life and speech despite having not set foot in a church since I was like 10, and I can't remember the last time I was in one before that.
Idk man cultural Christianity seems like a pretty damn useful term to describe my relationship with a religion I never fully bought into and then actively rejected as a child yet still hold weird connections to and knowledge of just because Christianity is so baked into the culture I grew up in like it or not. If you want to be mad, be mad at the Christians who stole your freedom from religion from you, not usually religious minorities who discuss cultural Christianity and how it damages them too.
#winters ramblings#like breh i HATE how much christian bullshit ive had to detangle from my life. like the idea of sin and punishment for example#id say a LOOOOOT of discussion regardless of religion leans towards a Christian understanding of the pridon system#prison is basically a recreation of hell on earth where youre supposed to go to burn off your sins in your 10x10 cell#now i gotta say not all Christians buy inti the styke of punishment and sin i know normal well adjusted Christians#but for the most part a HUGE portion of shit comes with a helping of cultural Christianity. but prison is probably the best example#hell any discussion of punishment relies on a distinctly christian flavor of 'atone for your sin or be doomed forever"#repubs bitch about so called cancel culture but thats just how Christians act towards sin lmao they do it too#except they choose shit you didnt ACTIVITY make a choice about like being gay to condem you to hell.#cant be mad that twitter cancels people for small shit like a crap joke if you actively subscribe to the same belief system#and are only mad bc that logic is applied to YOU now. anyway i could do without this logic in activist spaces#or ANY spaces being doomed forever over sin is only one way to do Christianity. like damn can the ones who like#rehabilitation and justice and helping the poor at least be the ones in charge??#regardless ive never been a Christian and barely have a meaningful connection to the religion. whuch is why i find it rather salient#that i still have this deep connection and knowledge of something i ACTIVELY REJECTED at 13#do you know HOW MUCH i had to have been indoctrinated into this shit with as LITTLE of a connection to organized religion as i do??#the fact i have ANY connection at all is kind if fucked honestly it shows you really REALLY do not get to choose#your religious leanings unless youre actively ANOTHER RELIGION BESIDES CHRISTIAN otherwise tough tiddy#you get to be Christian By Default and i don't like it either. but when i see jewish people talking about it#i know EXACTLY what they mean because i dont like my connection to a religion i never believed in and rejected at 13 either#i don't like that my choice to reject Christianity was stolen from me by such a ubiquitously christian culture#im not mad at jews for pointing this out im mad at christians for stealing my freedom of choice
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I keep hearing people saying that nobody cared that to break in a glove was cut from the deh movie alongside other way more important songs but they’re wrong. I care. I’ve always cared. Larry my boy what did they do to you
#I guess it’s finally time to come out of the woodwork and admit I enjoy this divisive trash heap musical that almost no one can genuinely-#Be caught liking anymore because it’s toxic or creepy or whatever and not a story of a ton of fucked up people lying to both everyone else-#And themselves#So unfollow me if you’re deeply disappointed by my morals for enjoying deh#I’ve been. To see it. Second row.#Best decision ever because I could see pins on bags and shit. Connor likes Misfits (band) it’s literally canon for the 2019 tour cast#And I’d never have that without being so close#Anyway if you’re still here and not in full attack mode at the name deh. maybe I’ll make more takes idk#because I’m not saying it’s flawless and hell half the ideas that really bring things together are fanon that then get butchered in-#The adaptation to try and please people#Kinda like the bmc Broadway problem where michael acts like an uwu soft boy because of fandom interpretation#I also saw THAT live. I promise I’m not rich 2019 was just a horrible year for me and I compensated by seeing all my favorite shows ig#ANYWAY yeah this is far down but I guess I’ll finally say what my actual issue is#Larry is so important to me man#And they fundamentally butchered his character in the movie by making him a stepdad. Yknow people who commonly have trouble-#Connecting with their step children#No dis to stepparents but that’s like normal. The fact it’s his actual bio dad and these are the parents he’s stuck with is kinda important#And also the way Larry and his grief are handled extremely subtly in the show#Like you will be found is honestly kind of a slow song to me usually BUT when I saw it on stage I broke out weeping#Not because of any other reason but it’s when Larry’s facade finally broke where he stops being put together and breaks down and weeps#In his wife’s arms. And like. Damn did I see me at my cousins funeral also dealing with a similar grief and trying NOT to#For so long to keep the rest of the family together#And that moment of breaking was so fucking real and I just started sobbing#Deh NEEDS to be seen on stage to possibly comprehend it and it’s weirdo story and that’s kinda it’s biggest flaw lmao#The synopsis and the actual intricacies of the emotions in the show are so far off. And the movies a terrible example#So now it’s just a universally hated thing#Anyway#number 1 Larry defender#Until the end of time#also the fact they cut any songs and add their own is deeply insulting when they cut two of the universally best ones. Good for you IS the
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PAC Meeting Your Next Partner/Lover
Hello! I’m back with another PAC this time I’m only giving a little information the rest will be on my patreon which I’m happy to share that I finally have a new member of my madhouse patreon and for them they shall get the most detail from this reading on there, I was so shocked, and surprised in the best way! I didn’t think that anyone would honestly, so thank you madhouse patient member! If you’d like to sign up for my patreon to get the full details of this reading and any new reading coming out the link is below this! Now this reading will be a little about the meeting between you and your next partner/lover/SO (Significant Other), on Patreon it’ll be a message from them as well so that’s for my patients only. Remember this is a general reading not a personal one take what resonates and like water let the rest roll off! Choose an emoji and let’s get into the Meeting!
P1:🐯
P2: 🐝
P3:🐣
🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯
P1
When you first meet your partner I feel like they’re going to notice you way before you notice them and they’ll be following you around, stalking you lowkey, kind of keeping a safe distance to observe you before making their presence known to you. They most likely found you so fuccin attractive! You’ll be very playful with them during the meeting, you’ll be teasing and poking fun at them, lightly roasting but all in good fun, I think that some of you are aggressive with your flirting (I am) but I am hearing that they are going to love it thooooooo, absolutely go fucking ape shit over the fact that you’re funny and you roasting them. They’ll roast you back, I’m hearing this person will be able to keep up with you. Some of my P1’s I’m hearing the word MOST, so MOST of my P1’s have trouble making connection only cos you feel misunderstood? In communication? I’m not sure but it’s hard for you to make connections with others so you’re not going to believe and some of my p1 may try to light roast as a way to self sabotage, but it won’t work, this person loves and can handle that attitude of yours p1! This person you will automatically be atttacted tool sexually, some in this pile will be FWB with their person before a relationship even starts only cos the vibes are so intense and lustful and that’s okay first and foremost don’t feel bad or not go for it! Be their FWB! You’ll be getting to know each other, it won’t be just sex, it’ll just be sex fueled but again that’s just the beginning stages. Sometimes emotions take over first other times it’s physical urges, I’m feeling the need to justify it as if someone will be against it and hey it’s your life but you have NOTHING to feel ashamed of P1! GO 👏🏽 FOR 👏🏽 IT 👏🏽!!
*Extended reading is on my patreon the link is at the end of the reading.
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
P2
When you first meet them they’ll have a bit of an attitude that day and more so kind of cold and standoffish not really saying much and it’s cos they’re having a shitty day before meeting you. They’re a business owner in some way and they’ll be bragging and showing off about how they own a company and how great it is. This person has a huge ego. Friends will introduce you two to each other, maybe your friends works for them, your friends could be friends with them? I am seeing friends setting you two up, some of you they know of you already, like in p1 they’re afraid to make a move towards you but I’m seeing this is more about them not knowing how to approach you which can lead to why your friends introduce you two. When you two will be having your conversation, they may get pulled away to talk to someone else about business or something but you’re not going to like that. You’re going to be jealous whenever they’re talking to anyone else but you, I’m seeing you feeling a little possessive over them you want their attention all on you! It’s actually kind of cute, I’m not sensing anything cringey or anything. They’ll be bragging so much about their successes and wins and how much money they have, they have a lot of money, p1 was rich but your person p2 is hella wealthy!!! My p2 you will be going through a rough time in your life when you meet this person. P1 it was their partner but with you guys it’s you who’ll be going through a rough patch in your life, dealing with drama I heard. You’ll drink, party, smoke, and get lit with them, I’m seeing some of you even dancing with them, close asfcc. It’ll be such a vibe. I’m seeing a couple meeting ina club and the lights are low and the music is playing and they’re dancing slow and close and it’s like everyone disappears. Because of their bragging and their image and wealth you’ll have some pre-judgements about them.
*Extended Reading on my patreon, Link is at the bottom of the reading!
🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣
P3
I’m seeing that when they will be talking to others engaging in other conversations it’ll make you feel a little bit peeved and jealous. When you two are getting to know each other they’ll be stalking you, not in a aggressive way but I’m seeing them lurking on your page or randomly showing up wherever you are so you guys can “coincidentally” interact with each other, it’s actually sweet. Like p2 you and your partner will have a deep long conversation, I don’t see it being hella emotional or soul revealing but I do see it being a long impactful conversation you two are alone having. You are going to be shocked and awe over who this person is. You had an expectation of them and it can be because of you judging them due to past pain but they prove you wrong for judging them prematurely. “You’re not what I expected!” That’s the vibe of you meeting especially on your end. During the conversation you’ll say something triggering to them, not seeing them get mad more so shocked anyone said that too them. They’ll notice you first across room and played it cool waiting for the best moment to approach you. Uh oh 😕 soo this I’m not really liking, you two will trauma bond instantly, this gives me karmic soulmate vibes. You two may argue with them p3, this by far is the toughest pile which again makes me feel this is a karmic connection. You two definitely get off on the wrong foot in some way during your meeting it can be the triggering thing you said to them. Some of you may be traveling, vacationing, or some even overseas. Will be making them giggle, laugh and blush ☺️ . Unforgettable meeting.
*Extended Reading on Patreon Link at the end of this post
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
Thank you guys so much I hope that you guys enjoy it and if you’d like to see the extended reading for more details and exclusive messages from them the link is below ⬇️
Join the madhouse! Check yourself in! You won’t regret it 💋 !
#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarot community#psychic#tarot cards#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a card#free tarot reading#fs pick a pile#fs pac#pac tarot#love tarot reading#patreon#pac#tarot witch#tarot readers#kemetic witch
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Time loop fic set during season 2 when Jamie’s back around but Roy isn’t coaching yet where it takes Jamie and Roy an embarrassing amount of do-overs before they finally realize they’re both caught in it because for days Jamie goes over to Keeley’s place and antagonizes Roy in basically the exact same way because he thinks making the same stupid old man jokes all the time is funny anyway and any slight changes in conversation he just assumes is because he showed up at a different time or worded his own end of the conversation a little differently but Roy’s still basically saying the same grumpy old man shit anyway
And Roy makes basically the same retorts every time because he stands by it and he assumes Jamie shows up at slightly different times looking for Keeley as a butterfly effect of his morning with Keeley being different but that there’s no escaping him showing up to be a little bitch at some point
And like they both sometimes tell people but not the same people on the same version of the day so Keeley individually thinks that both of them are losing it on different versions of the day before eventually they both mention it
And then on like day 5 of the same day over and over Jamie doesn’t show up and Roy is irrationally angry about it but thinks it must be somehow connected to the fact that he was acting absolutely insane with Keeley trying to explain what’s happening while she thought he was fucking with her and somehow that made her brush off Jamie and him not show up or something?
And it takes Jamie showing up at 100 and just tearing Roy apart and going on about what a dick he is (which isn’t unusual but isn’t how this routine goes) and weirdly fixating on how he was excited to meet Roy but then he ended up just being an old washed up prick that never even gave him a chance because Jamie figures he can just show up, yell at Roy for all the reasons he’s so fixated on being a little asshole with a grudge against Roy in particular to get it out of his system, and then never have to deal with any consequences of Roy finding out about the whole embarrassing having been a big fan and expecting it to be so cool to play on a team with him just to immediately get offended that Roy didn’t give a shit about him and his bullshit and so Jamie ended up hating him thing
But instead Roy just scowls at him and is like “that’s not what you’re supposed to say” and Jamie’s like “…what.” And Roy’s like I’ve done this day like ten times already and either I make Keeley think I’m certifiable first thing in the morning and you don’t show up or else you show up looking for her and then make the same completely uncreative old man jokes at me and Jamie’s like what the fuck I’ve been doing this same day over and over and you’ve been making the same shitty jokes that weren’t funny the first time over and over again
And Keeley’s just sitting there watching this like “Are you two fucking with me? I can’t believe you two got along long enough to plan whatever the fuck this is.” And honestly, the fact that she couldn’t imagine them ever getting along to plan this stupid joke and agree on it is the main reason she actually starts to believe them that time in an okay either I’ve completely lost it or you two are stuck in a time loop kind of way and when she starts going on about how every time loop movie there’s like a moral the person has to learn and maybe they’re both caught in it because they’re supposed to learn how to get along and be friends and Roy’s supposed to take Ted’s offer and that’s how Jamie finds out about the Ted trying to convince Roy to coach thing
But they’re both like fuck no absolutely not, that’s not it and I’d rather be stuck in this stupid fucking loop forever than voluntarily spend time with him let alone get along (as if Jamie hasn’t shown up to annoy him practically every version of the day and Roy hasn’t just been sitting there waiting for him every time) and then they actively avoid each other for like a week’s worth of versions of the same day before they start considering that Keeley might have been on to something but it still takes three more days of pointedly not seeking the other out and waiting for the other to give in first before they run into each other at Ted’s place anyway and finally start actually swapping information they’ve picked up from their loops and what they’ve tried changing to try to get out and discussing ways to try to get out of it while Ted’s just sitting there cracking jokes and making annoyingly similar to what Keeley said comments about how in time loop and body switch things it’s always that you have to learn to see things from another perspective and be nicer to someone you don’t usually see eye to eye with before you can get out (Ted doesn’t actually believe they’re stuck in a time loop though, he’s just going well weird hypothetical but I’ll play along if this almost certainly made up scenario is what it takes for them to have an actual conversation with each other)
#Roy’s going to be PISSED when he shows up agreeing to coach and start right then one of the versions of the day insisting he’s only doing#it to get out of the day or rule it out as the answer and instead he LOVES IT and then wakes up on the same fucking day anyway#So he not only has to admit that he actually wants to coach and other people were right but he’s also right fucking back again anyway#But he’s also still in his coach everyone but Jamie era at that point and he’s gonna have to not be before they get out#I have more thoughts but I am tired#Jamie not showing up actually had nothing to do with anything Roy or Keeley did he was just trying doing other shit#Might eventually write this as like a pair of fics in a series one from Roy’s pov and one from Jamie’s pov where their versions of the same#days get posted in the same chapters of each#This is another thing for the pile of things I might turn into something eventually#Ted Lasso#Jamie Tartt#Roy Kent#RoyJamie#Keeley Jones#Roy x Keeley x Jamie#Mine
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You, Me, & The Constellations
Masc!Reader x Ellie Williams
Summary: This fic is based off of this request. This is your typical 'two best friends who have been secretly pining for each other for almost their entire lives, but finally confront each other with their feelings' kind of fic. This is a mix of flufff and super slight angst.
Warning: Things get slightly heated at the end, but honestly no warnings (if you see any you think I should add feel free to tell me!).
Word Count: 6.2k
Ellie was a force to be reckoned with, you knew this much was true.
What you didn't know was how literal this definition of the auburn haired girl was.
She was brunt with her enemies, a ruthless killer when she needed to be, and didn't take shit from anyone, even if it was someone she loved. But what truly struck you was just how deep the metaphorical arrow was in your chest from the moment that you laid eyes on her. How she indeed was a force to be reckoned with, but more so in the sense of how much she would fill up your life with a love that you didn't think was possible.
Ellie and Joel were brought into Jackson when you were just a fourteen year old kid. The both of you were around the same age so naturally you were lumped together, along with all of the other kids your age, but Ellie... there was always something different about Ellie.
You weren't sure if it was because she was loud and always striking up a joke in the middle of the worst situations, or how she was always the one getting praised from your teachers and mentors who were showing you different combat techniques to perform while out on patrol. Or just the simple fact that neither of you were like the other girls in your age group..at least not the ones you were around.
"You should smile more Ellie, wouldn't want anyone to think you're a prude."
"Why are you always sitting with your legs spread, we wouldn't want the boys getting the wrong impression would we?"
"You two spend too much time together..you're going to give people the wrong idea."
You and Ellie would scoff at anyone trying to tell her to dress "nicer", whatever that even means in a zombie apocalypse. And you would rather die than ask a guy if he wanted to walk around Jackson with you or, god forbid, you were never putting a dress on your body.
Through the years there was a constant pull to her and you never really could pin point why. At the time of your youth, it was easy to narrow it down to this just being someone who was your best friend who you had literally grown up with. However, as adulthood crept in and that feeling never seemed to cease, you began to dive deeper into this intense love that you had for Ellie.
What you hadn't realized was Ellie had done this deep dive of her feelings for you years before. The moment the both of you were introduced, she was hiding the fact that she wanted to marvel over how beautiful you were. The more and more the both of you connected and grew in friendship, the romantic feelings Ellie held for you would too grow more and more.
Ellie was young back then, but she knew what love felt like, and that feeling never wavered, simply just grew.
She was smitten, but didn't say anything. Primarily because she didn't think you returned that feeling, at least not one in a romantic nature. But in the back of her mind, Ellie also questioned how the both of you could be so close for years and years and years-either of you literally joined at the hip, which didn't go unnoticed to the Jackson dwellers-and have this feeling be strictly platonic.
It didn't help that neither of you had a reason to leave the others side.
---
"My mom keeps wanting to me to ask this dude out."
Sixteen year old you and Ellie were both sat criss cross in the grass located in the park in the middle of Jackson. Ellie had previously been devouring an apple, until your words made her stop in a heap of panic that she tried to conceal.
"What?"
"You know that one guy..fuck, I don't even know his name...but yeah, my mom thinks me and him would be 'really good together." As you recited the exact words your mother said, you couldn't help but pinch your face in disgust at even the thought of hanging out with that boy or any boy in that way.
"I mean..what's so bad about him?" Ellie asked with a slight pleasure to her tone at the fact that you seemed quite literally disgusted at the thought of this guy and you being anything but acquaintances.
"He's just", You began with a sigh, "I don't know... I just don't see him like that or any guy really."
At that, Ellie felt her shoulders perk up as a tiny smirk appeared on her lips as she continued to chew on her apple. "So..you don't like guys?"
You shrugged, staring off into the blue sky as you joined Ellie in continuing to feast on your snack.
You'd never really thought about it like that..but Ellie was right. You'd never really felt that romance or other lovey dovey bull shit with a guy before.
"Who knows. Maybe I'm broken," you chuckled as your hand went to pull apart pieces of the green grass that had grown up from the ground.
"Nah, you're not broken.."
You looked up at Ellie as she spoke the kind words..or what you thought were kind.
"...just a dumbass."
Ellie had a shit eating grin on her face as you shoved her shoulder playfully with yours.
"Shut up El."
---
From that day on, you could never see Ellie the same again.
Why didn't you want to ask that guy out?
Why did it make you feel literally disgusted at the concept of a simple date with that guy..or any guy really?
Why did you not feel even a fraction of that disgust when wanting to hang out with Ellie? Or even more with Ellie..
It didn't take long for you to start noticing things about Ellie that you hadn't previously before..or rather, viewing them through a different lens.
You always took note of how Ellie dressed and the way it complimented her vibe. However, you never truly stopped to take in the way her thighs were full and muscular as they filled up the denim, the way how when her sleeves were rolled up they complimented her strong forearm and biceps.
Now, you had to stop yourself with silent scolding so you wouldn't physically stare and marvel at Ellie, the work of art displayed in front of you basically every day.
---
You and Ellie were both in your early twenties now. Both still single, both still joined at the hip, and both still silently pining after the other as if their life depended on it.
"So according to this book and my journal.." Ellie trailed off from the rant she had been on for what felt like an hour as you both sat in her home; Ellie sitting up straight on her couch and you laying down with your back flat and your head in her lap as you tried your best to focus on the tattered novel that sat in your hands.
It was proving unsuccessful as your attention would get caught up in any random words or expression Ellie would shout as she sifted through her book and journal that were full of nearly ripped out and stained pages from all of the use she got out of them through the years.
"Yes! Okay, according to my calculations in this book there should be a full moon tonight!"
Gently, you let out a giggle as you peered over the top of your book and up at your best friend, "How the fuck are you able to calculate that?"
With a smirk, Ellie continued shifting through the pages of her book, "Cause I'm just that good, that's why."
"Mhmm, sure you are."
In admiration, you watched as Ellie grabbed the pencil she had previously tucked behind her ear, and scribbled what you could only assume was some science astro-what have you that you wouldn't be able to understand, no matter how much Ellie tried to teach you.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you inquired about what Ellie had been talking about earlier if there was in fact a full moon tonight.
"Are you going up to that hill tonight then?
"Yeah," Ellie nodded, setting her book next to her, "You should come with me."
"What?"
"Come with me. It'll be fun..we could bring a blanket and just chill and shit"
In her twisted mind, Ellie was internally praying you'd say yes. Not that she mentioned the star gazing just to entice you to come or anything. It absolutely wasn't her trying to do something that was the tiniest bit romantic in nature thinking it would somehow sprinkle loves magic pixie dust, or whatever the fairytale bullshit was.
"I don't know Ellie."
Though your voice came out as dismissive and indecisive to Ellie's ears, your thoughts were spiraling in a tornado-like whirlwind. Anytime Ellie asked you to hang out, whether it be to grab dinner together or to sit on the couch next to each other doing individual things, much like you were doing now-it never failed to have a hum of electricity going through the veins that connected like tendrils to your heart.
Hell, it seemed like ever since you realized how desperately in love you were with her, at the ripe age of sixteen, it had always been like this.
"C'monnn," Ellie dragged out her words with a whine. "It'll be fun and chill. Plus! It's the perfect weather."
Ellie never needed to convince you to hang out with her. You would gladly give up going to one of those fancy award shows that played on tv before..the ones that people had parties for and dressed up and shit. Of course, that was all before the fungus overcame the worlds cause and, frankly, before you were even born, but that was besides the point. What mattered was nothing, and you meant absolutely nothing, would prevent you from turning down a chance to hang with the girl you were invisibly pining after.
Matching Ellie's prior actions, you set your book to rest on the lumpy cushion on the couch. Your eyes shifted and found Ellie peering down at you like a kid anxiously awaiting the answer they were hoping for.
"Alright, I'm down."
"Excellent!"
You and Ellie ran around her home, stuffing everything the both of you thought you might need for the evening into a beige stained cloth bag. Of course, Ellie was nearing three bags of stuff before you put your foot down and insisted that you actually didn't need to bring 3 different types of alcohol with you.
"What if we want mixed drinks or something?"
"Ellie, we are in the midst of a zombie fucking apocalypse and you're thinking about mixed drinks?"
You playfully bullied your best friend, making her laugh as she came to her senses.
"Fine. Just wine then?"
You nodded with a smile before grasping the top of the bottle that was being cradled in Ellie's palm and stuffing it into the one bag that you had somehow talked Ellie down to.
As the both of you made your way up the hill, about a 1/2 mile from the residential area of Jackson, the air was crisp as it blew through the fabric of your hoodie. One would compare this kind of weather to a fall night; not too cold, not too hot.
"I think I see it."
Fifteen minutes into your walk, Ellie lifted her lean neck to peak over the prairie land greenery and point towards the direction where the grass rose above its usual flat laying land.
"'s gotta be."
"Cmon then!"
Suddenly, Ellie was grabbing your hand and pulling you into a running speed towards the direction of the hill; it felt like it did when you were kids and getting yourselves in trouble for disappearing into uncharted areas.
Even though you had both put your lives in danger at some points during these child-like escapades, you'd never trade those adventures for anything, especially when they were had with the person you loved more than anything.
You hadn't stopped giggling the entire run up the hill until you were breathing heavily for air once you came to a halt as you hit the highest point of the grass covered mount. Even as you breathed rapidly to catch your breath after running at an incline, you couldn't take your eyes off of Ellie as she marveled at the expanse of land that usually wasn't in view from the flat plains she called home.
Now she was able to see the trees and plains for miles as they ran as far as she could see until they met the nearing dark sky. Your smile was massive watching this girl, this beautiful fucking girl, as she had a grin smeared across her face and her eyes devoured the beautiful land that she had found just for the two of you.
Ellie felt pride in herself for being successful in the planing of this adventure that she created with you in mind. So excited, she felt as if she was on some sort of upper as she spread her arms out in full wing span and began to twirl around slowly.
You laughed, watching her stumble and nearly trip as her feet quickly pivoted her body around in a circle. The wind in her hair moving it so much so, that it was covering half of her face when she did eventually stop.
"You're going to make yourself dizzy!" you squealed as you ran up to Ellie and wrapped your arms around her shoulder which caused the both of you to fall to the grass in a fit of laughter.
The weather, her arm around your shoulder, your head on her chest; what could be more euphoric than this? You didn't know and you didn't care to explore any other options of euphoria. Not when you had this.
Ellie lips traveled down to the top of your head as her arm drifted from your shoulder down to the keys that hung on a clip attached to a belt loop on your jeans.
You were much too busy enjoying this moment that you didn't' notice Ellie moving her fingers along the few keys on your carabiner..until you felt her finger push the silver part in, releasing the clip from its denim loop.
Ellie hung the keys above her head like a mobile above a babies crib. Her eyes fixating on something as if she were on a mission.
You knowingly smirked, "It's next to the silver key", you glided your finger against the tip of the key. Next to it, was a paper clip nearly rusted to the point of breaking in half, yet somehow still clung on.
Ellie smiled as she ran her finger acrossed it, but doing so gently. "You still have it."
You nodded, "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"
Ellie felt a warmth spread over her as she continued examining the relic from your teenage hood together.
"You remember when I gave it to you right?'
You nodded as your front teeth gently chewed on your bottom lip, "After the fall dance."
Ellie smiled as her mind began to picture everything about that night - the warmth of the twinkling lights set up in the barn in Jackson, the amount of alcohol Ellie had in her system that night...the way your flannel hugged you just right and how she nearly had to stop her drunken self from grazing her hand along your waist and lingering for however long you'd let her.
Ellie let out a blushed chuckle as she looked over at you as you now laid parallel to one another. Her hand held your key as she outstretched it to you in a way that nearly mimicked the Sistine chapel. You copied Ellie, stretching your arm out with your palm facing to the sky as she dropped the cold keys in your hand.
After the interaction, the both of you turned your eyes towards the sky as the conversation continued.
"Remember how hard Jesse freaked out over Dina in a dress."
You shook your hide slightly with an amused grin, "Oh god, yeah."
"I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head."
"I'm pretty sure they did."
Ellie raised her eyebrows as she muttered, "true", but the nonchalant conversation was quickly turned into Ellie frantically moving into a sitting position as her eyes stayed transfixed on the fully dark sky.
"Holy shit, holy shit, holy-"
"What? What's wrong?!," you shot up, joining in on her sitting stance.
But Ellie didn't have time to answer you as she rose to her feet and quickly grabbed her notebook out of the cloth bag that you both had packed.
You observed Ellie as she looked like a mad scientist wracking through all of their materials, but really, Ellie was searching for her notes..all the preparation she did for this night in the hopes that it would somehow work this time. That she could somehow win you over. Finally.
"Are you going to tell me what the fuck you're on about?"
Ellie looked over her shoulder, her finger marking the page she was searching for, as she looked at your questioning gaze as you now stood directly behind her.
"Sorry..", Ellie really was embarrassed. She was always finding herself doing this..this impulsivity before thinking everything all the way through. "I just wanted to uh-I wanted to get the blanket and everything set up now that the stars are out!"
Your eyes were telling of your befuddled expression; you weren't buying it, but you also weren't going to call out your best friend either.
"Alright well..help me get the blanket flat on the ground then?"
Ellie nodded as the both of you took the water proofed material out of the bag and held each of the opposing ends until the material was lying flat on the cold grass.
"I brought the other blanket too. Figured we would get cold when the sun went down."
"You're always thinking of the shit I'd never remember."
"And the shit you would regret," you quirked with a hint of ego.
"Yeah, yeah", Ellie smirked as she watched you come to a seated position with the bottle of wine and battery operated lantern in your hand. She joined you soon after with her knees pulled upwards and her elbows resting on the tops of her knee caps. The both of you passing the bottle back and forth between conversation.
"You going to tell me what that freak out was all about?"
"Oh..uh yeah..I just thought it would be cool to show you where all of the constellations are and I have them written in my notebook so-"
"That's so fucking cute," you interrupted because you simply couldn't hold that one in even if god himself commanded you not to.
Ellie breathed a sigh of relief at your glowing expression. The last thing Ellie wanted you to think was that she was lame. It didn't matter that you had never made her feel like that in the entirety of your friendship..she was still so nervous about having you perceive her in a positive way.
You watched as redness overtook Ellie's cheeks as she flipped her notebook open to the page her finger had marked.
Was that a blush? No, Maybe her cheeks were always that red.
You shook off the thoughts from your observation as you lowered your back to rest along the blanket, Ellie following suit as she held her notebook above her head.
"So you know where like Saturn and all that other shit is?"
Ellie nodded, "I think so."
Her voice was deep in thought as she began a repetitive motion of holding her notebook up to the sky, lowering down the notebook to fact check her studies, and then back to holding her notebook up again until she was certain she could recite it by memory.
"Alright, you see those stars over there," Ellie said, leaning her head slightly more in towards you as her finger pointed to the left side of the sky.
Your shoulder and head naturally moved inwards toward Ellie as you looked in the direction of her point. The warmth of each others bodies now a very prominent reminder of just how close you both were laying next to one another.
"That's Aquarius,", Ellie's finger began drawing out the stars for you and every other one she pointed out after that. Always talking softly as she murmured little facts about them and you nodding as you hung on her every word.
She could have been going on for hours or it could've just been 30 mins....neither of you knew, neither of you cared.
Eventually, you both fell into a comfortable silence as you laid inches apart from one another and took in the night sky now that it was filled with all of the knowledge Ellie had pumped into you.
You breathed in...and out. Wagering in your head how you got here. How the hell did you manage to get so lucky to have this person next to you as your best friend and confidant...but yet, there was another feeling there too. One that was screaming at you nearly all hours of every fucking day. One that was begging you to entertain the thought of Ellie as your lover or to at least attempt to convey these feelings you had for her to Ellie.
But the hesitation was always stronger it seemed. Any time you felt yourself brave enough to finally fucking do something about it, at the last second, you chickened out.
You felt it, right now. This burning..aching feeling of how perfect this moment would be to say it. Say that you love her. Say that you'd wanted Ellie since you ever entertained the thought. Say everything you've wanted to say from the past few years and have them easily roll off your tongue...
"Have you ever had a crush on anyone?" The words came tumbling out of your mouth faster than your brain could sooner process what exactly you were saying.
Ellie was so taken aback, the wind literally fell out of her chest as her mouth hung open and her gaze remained on the galaxies.
"Like..a crush crush?"
Regardless of your nerves and regret, you couldn't help but chuckle. "Are there two types of crushes?"
Ellie's cheeks reddened at the obvious. "Ouch."
You rolled your head to the side, looking right at Ellie. "You know what I mean like...you like someone and want to kiss and stuff.."
"And stuff?" Ellie quirked, mimicking your head roll so your faces were both staring at each other.
"Shut the fuck up. God, I hate you."
Ellie smiled timidly as she shook her head very lightly, "No you don't"
"Alright," your sarcastic tone evident, "I don't hate you, but are you going to answer my question."
Ellie began digging her pointer finger into the cuticle on her thumb, nervously picking at the skin as she dove into her brain, trying to figure out what the fuck you were on about with a question like this.
"I mean..yeah."
Suddenly your playful smile fell, "When?"
God, Ellie had never felt such a gleaming, hot spotlight on her before. It was almost blinding, but more so in the mental sense. She couldn't find words; it was like her brain was paused as her lips moved, but no sound was coming out all the while her eyes moved along the pattern of the blanket you were both lying on.
You sensed Ellies hesitancy.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
Ellie's eyes moved back up to yours. She gulped, her eyes moved down to your lips before she urgently brought them back to your eyes.
"No we can it's just..I don't know. We never talk about this stuff."
You nodded, "Yeah..guess I'm just curious."
"Curious about what?' Ellie asked with a pinched look to her face.
"What it feels like to like someone."
Ellie hadn't realized the large, deep breath she exhaled as she rolled back over to lay on her back.
How the hell was she going to get herself out of this question? Could see even do that?
"Why do you ask", Ellie settled in an attempt to somehow guide the conversation away from her spilling her entire heart to you.
It was your turn to mimic Ellie as you rested your back on the ground and brought one of your arms to rest under your head with eyes entranced on the lights in the sky.
"Don't try to change the subject on me."
"'M not!"
"Then tell me!"
"Fine”, Ellie's words came out quickly as she wracked her brain..but she came up with nothing. There was nothing that could guide this situation away, you were clear with your persistence on the matter.
Ellie was out of ideas and barriers from her feelings.
"It's like..", she began, trying to stifle her thoughts moving millions of miles per minute.
"It's heart stopping. One day you have no idea who this person is or that they even exist..but then, you see them and I mean really see them."
Her palms began to sweat, but Ellie didn't even notice. It was like her brain was running a race with no hopes of stopping. Now that she was talking about it, she knew if she stopped, she may never be able to do this again.
"Once you see them for everything they are and this feeling still doesn't go away. It's insane. It literally feels like you are on drugs because this person is just..", Ellie sighs, bring her hands up to rake along her tied back hair. "...this person is your everything. You can't stop thinking about them. Everything is them and they are everything. It's like your brain can't function properly without thinking about them or seeing them and It feels like somethings missing when they aren't around."
Ellie's passion in her tone caught you completely off guard as she spoke so poetically about something that you had never even known Ellie had felt before..she'd never mentioned it with you, which tugged at your heart strings slightly. Knowing that she had these profound feelings for a girl..it was strange and made you feel a pain that you'd never experienced before.
Was this jealousy? Knowing that Ellie was constantly being consumed by another who, you assumed, wasn't you..not to mention she hadn't even mentioned her fucking name to you. If you were being honest, those were only the foreground thoughts, what was really eating you up inside was that all of these things Ellie was describing were the exact way you felt about...her.
It was like a confirmation that you were indeed in love with your best friend and had been for...fuck, your entire life.
All you could manage to do was lay there, you didn't know what to say or how to respond. How can you move along this subject with the very person you were in love with?
Ellie felt a ting of embarrassment at her speech that had tumbled out of her mouth unexpectedly. She moved her pupils to watch you out of the corner of her eyes, curious of your silent and still form. "Did that answer your uh-your question,"
Your body remained still as you moved your pupils from one star to the next while you tried to gather words in response to Ellie..but now you felt bashful. You were the one who started this conversation, and now you were feeling as Ellie had moments ago. Mouth slightly moving with no words being vocalized; you were speechless.
"Hey."
Quickly, your eyes moved to Ellie who was now resting on her side with her arm bent while holding her up.
Startled, you blinked quickly as you rolled over on your side to face Ellie.
"Sorry..I got lost in thought I guess."
"What are you thinking about?"
Your eyes grew twice in size as you fixed your gaze on the exposed fern on your best friends arm..suddenly you felt the urge to brush your finger along the inked skin.
Ellie followed your gaze, moving her arm slightly more outwards so her hand was now grazing your shoulder.
Your mind went on autopilot, that's your only explanation for the way your pointer finger moved to brush along the warmth of Ellie's skin as you glided along each of the lines and bumps of scar tissue on her arm.
It was as if this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Sure, the both of you had hugged, rested on a floor together, sat next to each other- all of that, but this. This was intimate. It felt different. Like seeing a rare bird in the wild, Ellie was careful to not move as she watched the way your finger moved along her skin until it stopped moving, but still never left her skin.
"Ellie."
"Yeah?", she replied quickly. Suddenly, both of your eyes were on each others faces with a tension so thick it could cut through pure steel.
"I think I have a problem."
Ellie was confused, "What kind of problem?"
Fuck.
You outwardly sighed as you shook your head, feeling tears brimming at your waterline as you attempted your very best at pushing them away...but Ellie knows all of your little habits, especially when you're trying to push away tears out of frustration.
"Hey," Ellie's hand moved slowly as it came to cup your chin.
Her touch made you flinch slightly, until you realized you were safe.
Ellie was safe for you and had always been..you just hoped she would still be your safe person even after you confess the thing that was inevitably going to be said at some point.
And that 'some point' was tonight.
Ellie's eyes were sympathetic as she looked at you with a questioning expression, but she remained silent and waiting for you to speak when you felt comfortable.
"I think I like someone," you said between sniffles as you leaned the weight of your head into the palm of Ellie's hand.
Ashamed to be feeling such a way, Ellie shuttered at the the feeling of her heart shattering. Her first feeling was a jolt straight to her heart. She knew this would happen one day. You couldn't be her girl in her mind forever..it was always just a matter of time. Ellie just didn't think that time would happen tonight.
Regardless, Ellie was prepared to stick with you through it all. Through the crush, the puppy love, the full blown in love feeling-she would stick it out forever, even if it meant watching you with another who wasn't her. Ellie knew you were her forever and she would take you in any form..even if it killed her.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Ellie said those words, yet feared the answer.
Out of anger towards yourself, you let out a single sarcastic laugh as you wiped your other hand along your cheek to smear away the water that had begun falling down your cheek.
"What if..fuck." You mumbled the last curse word as your words began to shake with the anxiety you felt, but you persisted.
"What if I only feel that way with you?"
Surely Ellie misheard you..there's no fucking way.
"What?"
You rolled your eyes, tears now streaming down your face as you looked at your best friend in the eyes. What was there to hide now? You just laid it all out on the table.
"I like you Ellie."
That stabbing pain Ellie felt earlier was melting by the second and quickly being replaced by a warmth that spread through her entire body.
"Please say something," you pleaded, looking at Ellie like you were helpless because that's exactly how you felt.
You needed to know what you just said wasn't jeoparodzing the friendship that you cherished more than anything in the entire world.
"So..you like me?"
You nodded, but Ellie still wasn't convinced this wasn't a hallucination of some sort. She needed to hear you say it plain and clear with everything laid out.
"So everything I just said th-the heart stopping shit, the feeling like you’re on drugs. All of that is what you feel for me?"
You couldn't nod quicker if you tried; Ellie couldn't stop her smile from spreading across her face if her life depended on it.
"Maybe we're supposed to be together then,"
You watched as Ellies shoulders flexed up and down in a shrug motion. Something so nonchalant even though Ellie felt everything but that.
In pure awe and amazement and joy and..so many other fucking emotions, you just stared at Ellie with a glimmer to your eye that hadn't been there all night, fuck, or your entire life, until now.
"Pinch me."
"What?"
"Fucking pinch me. There's no way this is real."
Ellie let out a loud chuckle. "I'm not pinching you..", she said, moving her hand slightly so her thumb could caress your cheek.
"But this is real."
"Promise?", you said, holding your pinky up in the air which elicited a good smirk from Ellie.
"Promise."
The both of you crossed pinkies and remained there, enchained in one another, even as Ellie began to speak.
"I've loved you for so long...you have no idea."
You nodded, "I think I do have an idea actually."
Ellie looked at you with honest to god love in her eyes as she chewed on the inside of her cheek before speaking.
"How long?"
"Oh god."
"What?, Ellie said, amusement in her tone as you sat straight up.
You smirked as an idea came to mind, "You first."
"Oh, it's like that now?"
You hummed an mhmm as your hand inched closer to the tips of Ellie's fingers that lay flat on the ground.
"Since I was fourteen."
"No fucking way," you nearly shot up from your seated position in pure shock.
Ellie nodded, "It's always been you for me."
The words felt foreign to be saying out loud to you-the person Ellie had forever pinned over. But it felt good, so fucking good.
"This is crazy...." Your fingers were now fully intertwined with your best friends..except this time it wasn't friendly. It was love. It felt like fucking love.
"It is..I never thought-"
"You had no idea i liked you? Never?”, you interrupted to which Ellie responded with a shake of her head.
"No idea."
A comfortable silence took over the both of you for a minute or so as you both reveled in this new feeling. This relief of getting a massive weight off of your chest and, on top of that, having the weight not crush the beautiful friendship the both of you had. Now, the friendship was just starting to grow into its fullest form.
"What do we do now?", you spoke softly truly not knowing what to do with all of this-but in a good way.
Suddenly, Ellie moved her fingers out of the web you both had made. Confusion took over your face, but was quickly washed away as she moved her hand to your chin.
Ellie didn't say a word as she tilted your face upwards ever so slightly which lined up your lips perfectly. All that was left was to close the distance, which you didn't hesitate to do.
With urgency, your face moved inwards until you felt Ellie’s chapped lips against yours. It was like a magnet the way your mouths molded together in a crushing kiss that was full of so many emotions and memories and yearning that had been packed away in secret for years.
Your jean clad legs began to move as if it were instinct for you to seat yourself into Ellie’s lap, all the while your lips never detaching from one another.
Ellie’s hands were nearly frantic as she gripped onto your belt loops and enlaced her thumbs with the denim fabric. Your combat boots dug into the blanket covered ground as both of your lips now moved furiously against one another as the both of you made up for lost time.
Soon, your hands were moving Ellie’s jacket off of her shoulders, followed by Ellie unbutton the top button on your flannel until you stopped her.
“Ellie, hold on”, you spoke with a laughter In between each word.
Ellie pulled away with a heaving chest, letting her hands drop to the tops of your thighs as you remained in her lap.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I just-“
“Heat of the moment. You’re totally fine. I felt it too”, you interrupted with a knowing smile.
You both shared a look of content smiles as you took in the others face. Ellie and her swollen lips, you and your hair now out of place as some front strands were pressed against your forehead. The both of you were the sight of repressed love that was now finally coming to fruition.
Like earlier in the evening, Ellie’s hands found themselves playing with the keys sat on the hook looped around your belt loop, except this time…you were hers and she was yours.
Nothing would ever be the same after this.
#ellie williams#tlou2#tlou#the last of us#ellie fic#ellie the last of us#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x reader#the last of us part 2#Ellie williams angst#Ellie williams fluff
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rotb spoilers i talk abt Noah in depth bc im autistic and its 1 am
(this is also strictly talking abt the movies)
idk bout yall, but i really like Noah and his character and the way he interacts with everything thrown at him., I really like how (because of Mirage's chill personality) he wasn't completely overwhelmed by the existence of robot aliens. sure he was freaking the hell out abt the car driving by itself but yknow he caught on pretty quickly. and this is also due to the fact that he wanted to save earth as well. and specifically he wanted to help his brother. can we talk abt the fact that he was so willing to go against his morals just to scrounge up some sort of cash to help his family. as soon as he got into Mirage he was like "I don't wanna do this" and he was trying to get out the car. I also really like the relationship Noah had with his little brother. trying to be that light in his life and give hope. doing everything just to help his little brother not be in so much pain. it was just a nice touch to show us how truly compassionate and caring Noah is and you could really feel that through the performance, imo. you can tell they've both been struggling for quite some time. you feel sorry for when Noah gets immediately rejected by that security officer, and he's completely honest and trying to explain how he deserves a second chance (and he does) and he's probably repeated those reasons a thousand times in the past. he almost completely doubts himself until his brother reiterates that they're always gonna be there together and theybcan do it. and even though it sounds unrealistic, me and my sister have said the same thing to each other so it feels all the more powerful to me. it's a completely different approach to a character in the movie series and I cannot appreciate it enough.
and can I just say, sorry to the sam likers out there, I like how Noah doesn't just immediately insult Mirage trying to save him or befriend him. they actually have a strong ass bond almost right off the bat. sam was always yelling at bee everytime bee came in to save his ass (I hated this bc bee can do no wrong ok) but when Mirage was fighting scourge all by himself JUST to buy time for Noah, literslly risking his life for Noah. literslly becoming a suit of armor for him. Noah was nearly in tears, watching mirage's optics fade becsuse they've already become so close. Noah and Mirage have the silliest banter because they just get along so well. I know it's kind of stupid to compare the two (sam/bee and noah/mirage) but my point is simply: they connect so well together and I really fucking appreciate that. we've seen it with Charlie and Bee where they genuinely care for each other and now we see it again with Noah and Mirage. its just so nice to see the two get along swimmingly. even after they save the world, Mirage meets Noah's brother and everything and Noah begins to fix Mirage up as well. showing that they've become closer after the entire incident.
and Mirage. I just gotta say he is seriously the star of the show. Pete Davidson did an amazing job with him. and Mirage's personality fits with Noah so incredibly well. They've got the same type of style, use the same slang, stuff like that, and they compliment each other. Mirage is so genuinely interested and curious about Noah that he comes off as extremely friendly, defensive, and playful. He doesn't hesitate to risk his life for Noah and he gives Noah a little gauntlet to at least keep himself safe when they're apart. he even tells Noah off the bat that he can turn into any car and be sold so Noah can have money for his family. Maybe its the fact that Mirage has been cooped up and told to stay hidden for so long that he can't help but appreciate the first person to "reawaken" him, but regardless their relationship is just extremely refreshing and nice. The way they can bounce off each other is awesome. God i love them so much honestly I can't think of a better duo than these two theyre just perfect for each other whether its platonic or more
#transformers#transformers mirage#noah diaz#mirage#mirage x noah#tf rotb#rise of the beasts#transformers rise of the beasts
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I have a physical reaction every time i think about the queercoding of Dave at the end of homestuck. My roommate and I were reading it and i kept having to take a moment to think “holy shit, is he coming out??? is that what we missed on the meteor round 2?”. I don’t keep up with Andrew Hussie news bc i don’t really like him as a person, but the whole talk with Egbert on the lillypad makes me think Hussie either was really close to a queer person or queer himself with just how accurately he wrote Dave talking about the queer experience, even if he doesn’t actually come out in that part. It doesn’t feel like queerbaiting either bc it bc fits with Dave’s characterization and how hard it is for him to talk about anything sincerely.
I don’t want to downplay the importance of Dave realizing the thoughts Bro instilled in him about how a man should act in favor of speculating about his sexuality tho. Not wanting to be a stoic hero of man who doesn’t have attachments or be soft with anyone is a huge part of Dave’s characterization and character arc. I think they go hand in hand tho, his struggles with toxic masculinity and his sexuality. I think the conversation was blatantly about both while Dave gave himself an out to pretend it was just about one. And he didn’t even do that.
I’m about to get hella pretentious and read way too much into things under the cut. More rambling about Dave’s character arc as a whole and nitpicking of dialogue towards the end of homestuck down below.
Future peepaw edit: this turned into a fucking play by play essay, my bad
Out of order but I also want to talk about his characterization as a whole.
Homestuck Mobile formatting jumpscare:
He’s willing to talk about another guy’s feelings. Romantic ones. for someone at the time presents as a guy. It doesn’t even feel like he’s joking. 13 year old Dave would never.
And this happens before all the stuff i mentioned earlier, showing exactly what he talked about. I honestly don’t think any other character has an arc like Dave’s. Which, seeing as Dave is a fully fleshed out complex character that makes sense, but I mean in general. I have consumed a lot of media, i’ve consumed a lot of queer media too. I’m really into the history of queercoding and how it relates to representation. I don’t think I’ve seen a character arc quite like Dave’s, especially in relation to sexuality and toxic masculinity.
Egbert assumes that Dave’s being a dick on purpose, and Dave rebukes it so strongly he uses an exclamation point. In a series where how people type is kind of a big thing, Dave’s frequent lack of punctuation is a nod to his “cool guy” facade, the lack of tone indication part of the “mystery” a cool guy has to be surrounded with. So, the fact that he feels strongly enough, or has loosened up enough on the cool guy show no emotions routine speaks to his self reflection. Of course this is stated literally a few more dialogue lines down, about how much time he spent on the meteor thinking about societal norms and his Bro’s teachings but the fact that it’s sprinkled in before hand too makes it feel less like it’s come out of the blue, or that it’s out of character.
“yeah we coulda talked about this” says so much. Not only to his relationship with Karkat (romantic or not, i’m a Davekat shipper but that’s not what i’m getting at here) but just how far he’s come with getting close to others. Not to mention the fact that it’s implied that they talk at least somewhat frequently about heavy and deep issues such as feelings for other people definitely feels like a major shift in Dave’s character, one for the better.
He’s probably been vulnerable with Karkat in a way that he never was with anyone as a kid. They talk about things. They talk about important enough things that Karkat’s past black crush on Egbert never coming up probably feels a little strange, hence Dave asking if he’s been thinking about it all this time. He has that connection with Karkat, which is important bc Karkat is masculine presenting. I’d bet money that Bro would not have approved, regardless of them just being friends or not.
That level of vulnerability? Not immediately calling Karkat gay and dunking on him? Treating what would be seen a gay relationship as completely normal and not even something to bat an eye at? 13 year old Dave WISHES he had the emotional maturity Dave has now.
He even encourages Karkat to hold on to those feelings bc Egbert expressed that they could hate people, at least platonically. Egbert even calls him out, saying he sounds like he’s being a dick about it and Dave says he’s being real.
Not to mention he kind of forgets that Egbert “isn’t a homosexual” at this point, that or he suspects Egbert isn’t straight in some capacity. I think he has less hang ups about queerness than Karkat does at this point. Or at least less hang ups about being honest. It feels fitting for his character and i’m sad that most of that character arc is off screen. I get it tho, writing meteorstuck round 2 would have made homestuck significantly longer most likely.
In conclusion: I like Dave and his character arc too damn much. I have to go to work now, i was not expecting to have this many thoughts about it and i’ve rambled enough.
#homestuck#dave strider#does this count as#character study#karkat vantas#john egbert#june egbert#i’m vague on pronouns for Egbert#peepaw story time
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I think that Yuri is against the whole marriage thing mostly because the excuse of "i'm married since a year and didn't tell you before and even LIED to you about it, sorry (lol)" that Yor told him.
After all at the beginning, when Yor tells him (lies to him), saying she may see someone, he's happy about it. So it's not the fact that she found someone who bother him but the whole mistery around the marriage and that his sister didn't tell him for a whole year.
It can be pretty suspect for anyone and even more for someone whose the job is to NOT trust people :/
It was not the best start to start to know Loid and appreciate him ^^"
Yeah. As necessary as it was for Loid to have the "we married a year ago, definitely not just for the interview!" excuse, it ended up making the marriage look super suspicious to everyone else.
Now, as far as the fandom is concerned, I think people are too used to stories being poorly written and certain characters being so creepy, that they're not prepared to see the brilliance with which Endo handled Yuri's dynamic. Yes Yuri is a little obsessed with his sister, but it's made understandable due to the circumstances under which they grew up in, and he is willing to accept her getting married. However, that very obsession is there to produce conflict for Loid and Yor, and it's handled with a very delicate balance where it enriches Yuri's personality without making him a creep.
Honestly, I think people misunderstand both his "When I grow up I'm going to marry you" and how he latched onto Yor saying she'd wait up for him. The first one is a thing a lot of little kids tell their parents, older siblings, or any form of caretaker, or even their peers. They know that "marriage" is a form of showing how much you love someone, but they don't know how romantic love works yet, so they connect marriage even with familial or platonic love. So in their minds, telling someone "I want to marry you" just means "I love you very much", and in their age, that can only be familial or platonic love.
About the second, I think Yuri had a moment of ShockTM when he saw Yor about to kiss Loid, not because he felt she was betraying her "promise" to wait up for him, but because reality was very suddenly drilled into him.
It's like when you sit and have a striking realization about real life. Things like "I'm not getting any younger" or "The world is fucked up" or even "That thing that happened to me was actually traumatic". You go by in your life hearing that stuff, and automatically understand them, but you may have a moment of actual realization when you're like oh. Shit. This is Real.
And I think this is what happened with Yuri here. He didn't actually think Yor would marry him, but it was a kind of "dream" that he subconsciously had, probably in the form of "I will always be the one she puts first". So he might have felt secure in that thought, but right then, when he saw Yor almost kiss Loid, that dream/thought was very suddenly pulled from under his feet. He had his "I'm not getting any younger" realization. But because his emotional state is... how it is, instead of taking a moment to self-reflect and just think, he lashed out and tried to protect that safe space he'd built in his mind.
Honestly, he's a very interesting character because he provides conflict while being layered on his own. He's very well written and developed, and it can be very easy for audiences to fall in the trap of calling him a "creep obsessed with his sister" if they don't look a little deeper.
(no spoilers for the manga please 😁)
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finally got around to putting this into words so here is my submission to the q!bad newsletter titled "q!bad is a good person but a bad human".
arcs like the one q!bad is on are naturally polarising and bring out a lot of strong emotions from views which is amazing, but i think a lot of people are missing the forest for the trees here -- more specifically, who we saw q!bad be for almost six months every day (who we still see him be now).
q!bad is a fundamentally good person by all accounts -- yes, he's a mischievous gremlin, but he's insurmountably generous, selfless in the way he gives without ever expecting anything in return, is dependable at every single turn. even in his lowest moments, he didn't turn his back on that dependability to his own detriment -- he prioritised everyone above himself, not just the eggs but also the other islanders.
q!bad is also... kind. not nice, i actually wouldn't call him nice per se, but he's kind, and loving, and gentle if you know how to read his actions -- just because his lovingness is at times odd to read, it doesn't mean it isn't there.
now, everything i've pointed out so far is not only factually true but also just a spot on indication of what makes a good person, right? well... yes, and no.
by human standards he's not a good person. he lies, cheats, is deceitful and cunning at every turn, is a gaslighter and a manipulator, and his moral compass ends when his emotional attachment does -- he won't hesitate to put his friends through tests and trials that he knows hurt them just to reach a goal, even if it's an ultimate "greater good" type goal.
luckily for q!bad, the man isn't fucking human and so the lense through which we see his character need to be adjusted not only to accommodate his life experience (as we would any character) but also the fact that he's just... not human, he can play pretend and he certainly has spent enough time around humans, but nature vs nurture only goes so far and he was a grown ass adult when he sunk atlantis.
it's honestly just painfully obvious that for better or for worse, q!bad doesn't function like humans do, and i think the best indicator of that is how he views interpersonal relationships, connections, love and trust.
for us, love and trust are intrinsically connected and ultimately need to be present for us to form attachments -- if we don't trust someone, we might get along with them at a superficial level but we won't engage further, right? q!bad sees those two as fundamentally separate parts of relationships -- you cannot argue he doesn't love his friends, or all the eggs, but does he trust everyone? no. because q!bad is very much capable of loving you without trusting you, because his default is distrust. while most of us start a connection with existing trust that can then be broken, he starts them with no trust that needs to be earned.
he doesn't see what's wrong about his friendship with q!foolish, he doesn't see the issue with having been sightseeing at the salem witch trials, pompeii is "the reason he doesn't do beach vacations" and not... yeno, a massive historical tragedy. for q!bad, all of these things are normal because he's a millennia old demon who fundamentally lacks the grasp on some pretty basic human concepts despite his time here (i.e. his whole conversation with q!baghera about lines and mortality).
my point being, q!bad is not a good human, he never claimed to be (on the contrary) and his recent actions show that very well...
... but he *is* a fundamentally good person, without question.
as long as you view the cubito through the lense of our own morality, you'll be depriving yourself of some pretty awesome insights into his character and also just not giving him a fair shake!
he's a terror! he's wiped out civilizations! he's eaten people! he is terrifying and bloody and dark! he's also just a little guy who makes care packages and watches kids and won't turn away anyone in need! all of this is him and for a fair analysis you need to consider the entirety of him for better and for worse!
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A little analysis about Beelzebub
I'm liking the game a lot and one of my favourite characters is Beelzebub, so I wanted to do a little analysis of his character based on the little information that we have currently of information about him.
Spoiler warning about the personal story about Beelzebub (Selfie) card (part 1 and part 2) and the comics of : Bael, Beelzebub (selfie), Amon.
Leak waring about Beelzebub butt card.
I currently never met Beelzebub in the main story, I'm on chapter 2 and stuck as I am writing this.
But I also think that we never met Beelzebub to all the 4 chapter available at the moment because if you go to 'album', you can see which GC you have and how many you missed it and of who you missed it. And there isn't yet an option about him or Abyssos/Avisos.
I think Beelzebub himself will show for the first time or at Gehenna or Tartaros, since in his description it says to spend most of his time there, but only later we will have to seriously have his "kingdom arc".
Before talking completely about Beelzebub I want first to talk about his kingdom, because I think, even minimally, that each kingdom represents/reflect it's king personality and doings.
(honestly I don't understand if his kingdom is called Abyssos or Avisos, but I will use the first to name the kingdom and the second the organisation)
In Abyssos there is an entertainment district and a casino, the existence of these things, makes me connect that Beelzebub is a party animal, and consider having fun something really important or something of his begin as a person.
In fact in the comics we see a Beelzebub that is always doing something fun such as begin on the beach/vacation (Amon comic) or hanging out whit the other kings (levithan selfie & mammon butt comics).
And seeing him in one of his many tentative of run away from his job and responsibility as king, and failing this time. (Beelzebub Selfie)
[immagini 2]
I put this last image not only cause Beelzebub looks like a fucking chad, which is hilarious to me.
But also it shows the "darker" side of him, better to say that it shows Beelzebub strength and serious side of him and the fact he actually do his job.
And made me also think about Beelzebub not using his power while he is trying to run away in his selfie comic. Could he not wanted fully to run away? Or wanted to have a little distraction before continuing to work and wanting to actually get cached? Or he just doesn't use his power to run away cause he fully believe/knows he is able to run away whitout using them?
I'm saying this cause he was catched whit s bear hug, and it's said in his description that his powers doesn't follow any kind of laws, and if he wanted really, really to "escape" he could have use it easily.
I also recently discovered that after Solomon death (B.C. 931) Beelzebub decided to completely run away from his kingdom and never stepping on it again, or at least till now.
In Bael description it says that Beelzebub is specifically targeted by angels, and since Bael takes Beelzebub identity, he have to fight all the angels that come to Beelzebub. But why he have to do so??
Not long ago I read a theory that says the reason why Beelzebub is Always on the run since B.C. 931 and targeted by angels it's because he is involved to the death of God and Solomon.
I would also add one of my personal theory: remembering Solomon death lead all the demons he made a pact whit, extremely restrained by the contract still existing.
And I believe that Beelzebub is one of the Demons that got extremely weak and/or unable to use his power, making him a really easy target for angels, reasons why Bael has taken his identity, is it to protect Beelzebub by angels since he still can use his power.
But at the same time Bael made believe to the angels he is Beelzebub, Abyssos civilians seem knows that right now, at the "throne" there is Bael replacing Beelzebub since they miss Beelzebub. (Abyssos description)
But I could completely wrong, we really don't know actually the reason why and I hope in the future we will get an answer about it.
I also think that only whit MC influence in future chapter he will return back to Abyssos, after breaking solomon contract and/or whit some persuasion.
Or not, Beelzebub is a impulsive and unpredictable person that does what he wants most of the time, like 9 time out of 10.
but I think he will return, because even very subtly it is shown that Beelzebub cares about his his people and kingdom.
He personally gives piercing all Abyssos citizens to shown that they are from Abyssos.
And I also read somewhere that Beelzebub doesn't scribble on Abyssos walls (I don't remember if this last thing is canon or a headcanon, so take this information whit a grain of salt)
But it's shown more than once his care for his friend Bael.
Bael comic is one of my favourite comic at the moment.
I love how it shows Beelzebub and Bael relationship, I love it how's it show a new side Beelzebub personality and his guilt, and I love that last panel of Bael smiling and the little drawing.
Specifying more, I want talk about Beelzebub guilt and behaviour in this comic.
The comic shows Beelzebub feelings about the situation of Bael using his identity:
Whit a flashback to, what I think is, the first time Bael impersonated Beelzebub.
It shows Beelzebub shock as he see Bael taking his identity in front of the angels and also it show Beelzebub running away from the fight as he is begin called a coward by other Devils and Beelzebub insulting himself as he is running away (and when he returns back to bael completely wounded by the angels).
I'm sure there is a specific reason to why Beelzebub acted this way, especially cause on the Amon comic there is a Beelzebub that isn't scared of fighting or is weak that it have to run away.
Here I will stand again on my theory of how Beelzebub can't use his power because of the pact he made whit solomon and his death.
I also want to talk about how at first Beelzebub was exited to talk whit Bael about a back joint therapy in Gehenna that he wanted to do at first, but taken back his words whit a "I'm not actually serious about it, I'm joking/only talking about it".
remembering to the fact how this can mean such a burden to Bael since he is impersonating him, and how they need have minimal differences.
after Bael decides to change topic whit a joke saying "if you want to change your look, why don't we dye hair together (implied of the same colour) " to lighten up Beelzebub mood.
In the comics it look like Beelzebub his a person that hide his problems behind his extroverted personality and momentarily forgets about his problems as he distract himself to wait pick his interest.
Going to the next topic, I want to talk about his description.
Free - mysterious - doesn't follow rules - hearty and lovely
Are key words on his description that catch my eyes the most and I want to analyse each one for themselves:
Free - we can see many times how much he is a free spirited person, not really linking to work and always on the run in search of entertainment and something that catches his eyes, this is also why on the same day you can see him in two different countrys.
Mysterious - more than mysterious, he is pragmatic, a bit hard to read at first, and since always on the run you never know what going on whit him and inside his head.
Doesn't follow rules - I think this is self explanatory.
Hearty and lovely - WHERE?????? BECAUSE FOR NEITHER IN HIS SELFIE CARD HE IS?? HE IS MORE OF A BITCH THAN LOVELY.
Seriously the first time I read the story (part 1) I literally wanted to punch him in the face. (I still do every time I re-read part 1)
I really don't understand this, since it's never shown this part of his personality or hinted.
Even considering Bael comic, he doesn't really look or act "hearty and lovely", he is acting more of a person that cares about his friend.
In the 2nd part of the story( still Beelzebub Selfie card), MC and Beelzebub begin to do the doings and he encourage MC as MC takes their times, but he isn't "hearty and lovely" even there.
He is for sure a flirt and kind of a bastard in the first part. While in the second, he is kind of patient, he doesn't make fun of MC "inexperience" and even encourage MC to continue and go harder.
Which I really liked, not in a horny way, but liked in "enjoying the character personality" way, and honestly before reading the second part I trough he would make fun and insults MC in a kinky way, but he didn't which surprised me in a positive way.
Maybe in the future it will show his "hearty and lovely" side, but for now that side doesn't exist or is hidden very well.
Plus at the end I wanna talk about his Butt card:
At first in the card I looked at his (ass) crying face, seeing him acting this "childish" because of a syringe, made me consider if Beelzebub have a "childish" personality. It true since he scribble everywhere, and he doesn't to his job (homework), but he doesn't really look that childish, more than acting like a kid, he acts more of late teenager that doesn't want to study and go to the disco
But then I got confused, is he scared of needles? I don't really thinks so since he have his ears pierced, and he himself pierce every Abyssos civilians, he shouldn't be scared of needles. Is he scared on needles only when it's about syringe???
Recap of Beelzebub personality:
Beelzebub is impulsive and blunt person that loves to have fun and always on the run of that fun and never following any kind of rules as he loves his own way of freedom.
But also a person that under his care free personality shows his depth as character: affection to the people he cares, even guilt and regret to his own action to even call himself as "useless" to the fact he isn't able to help his friends and even Kingdom that tries to hide by his party animal personality.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I really hope whit this Recap of his personality, I didn't watered down my whole analysis.
I finally finished my analysis and I wanted to thank you to everyone who read this and also to say sorry about:
the possible grammar errors, miss typo and repetition, I tried my best to write something that have a sense.
the possibility that this analysis may be superficial, which is something I really didn't want to do.
#what in “Hell” is Bad?#what in hell is bad#wihib#whb#whb beelzebub#whb beel#beelzebub#Abyssos#Avisos#character analysis#analysis
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feel free to complain to me about the ii finale <3 i'm all ears
thank you ellie :)
fair warning for ii neg, especially on the latest episode.
prefacing this with saying: I LOVE INANIMATE INSANITY!!!!!! inanimate insanity is my favourite show in the world and every episode leaves me full of joy and excitement. i adore criticizing it not out of hatred but out of genuine love. i enjoy every single episode i watch.
however, i find that iii19 has been the worst episode so far. it has gotten me the least hyped out of any episode in the series, which is saying a lot because i bounce off the walls at every episode no matter how much i end up criticizing it later. there are. so many problems i have with it. im gonna try and organize them the best i can, though i'll probably(?) edit this post later to insert anything i missed or forgot to say.
starting off positively: oj!!!! personally i am so glad he didn't talk in this episode. i was terrified of the idea of him having a new va. the spin was adorable, i loved his signature thumbs ups, and every time i saw him i squealed with delight. him voting for balloon also made me really happy! despite the grudge he's had against him for so long, he still sticks with him on this part. even after laughing at his death the episode before that
in general all the seasonwunners voted for balloon!! which makes me happy!!! paintbrush, nickel, balloon, and oj have all been there for the very beginning of season 1, three of them being there for every season. i love the inherent connection the contestants from season 1 have with each other. they've been together since inanimate insanity began and they're there for the end of season 3 too. very sweet.
onto more negative stuff! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID WITH SILVER SPOON AND CANDLEEE they set up something crazy in the last episode and then did NOTHING with it!!! they had silver spoon beat candle unconscious the second she said something that wasn't coddling him like the manchild he is and she STILL voted for him. where even was she for half of the episode?? they just left her lifeless corpse on the ground in iii18 and then she eventually got up in this episode and just. went back to the competition??? dogshit writing
okay now i wanna talk about cabby. I Don't Like Cabby Anymore. so from the very beginning i have loved cabby. she was extremely similar to me in fact! i have really bad memory issues and i tend to keep files on people and on things that i might forget about, as well as just to organize my thoughts and ideas. i loved her confidence, obsession with knowledge, and analytical personality at the start. i was pretty upset when the characters (mostly test tube lmao) started relentlessly bullying her, and i HATE the whole thing in spring on the breakfast where they try to demonize her files. it was kind of annoying when they tried to remedy it really quickly after that because it was clearly because of the backlash, but i was glad they at least tried to fix it. however, over the course of the series, she just felt like she was... becoming sadder? pitiful, honestly? she went from an awesome smart character who loved taking notes on people's behaviour and using that information to get better at the game into some kind of Sad Little Bullied Victim. she doesn't even feel like a character anymore to me, just a mouthpiece for the creators to write dramatic "cathartic" speeches through to prove they're Definitely Not Ableist. also what was the deal with her parents lmao they never brought that up again
aaaand this episode was generally written really badly. super fucking corny for one. they literally had a little dance party at the end like people make jokes about for stereotypical Kids' Shows. but my issue is more with like... the weird super fast character development? and the way they wrapped everything up as quickly as possible? something that bothered me was the tonal whiplash between zuwie voicing springy super hysterically and dramatically and then springy being fully redeemed within like the next 5 minutes and dying for mephone. Why did they even die for mephone. like as a character why would he of all people die for mephone. thats so fucking stupid. the rest of the voice acting felt completely different from springy's as well so it just made the effect worse. everyone's lines were really corny and felt so manufactured, like they would pull characters to mephone's side (losing my mind over all the contestants rooting for mephone like cmon man that guy sucks i just know oj at least would want him dead) with a short Cathartic Speech and everything would be fixed and lovely and peachy keen. its just painful to watch. everything feels really weirdly disjointed and badly put together, the flow is awful, the "danger" doesn't feel like there's any suspense to it at all, and every character gets fully redeemed for no good reason. even walkie talkie chats casually with mephone at the end as if they're good friends after they were HYSTERICALLY INSISTING ON MURDERING HIM? AND MAKING HIM WATCH HIS OWN DEATH?? idk if this will get explained in s2 but we still don't know who walkie talkie is, what their motive is, WHY they got redeemed, etc. we know nothing about them. and even if it will be explained later, i think it's shitty writing that NOTHING was explained in this season.
some extra stuff
- SO FUCKING GLAD THEY DIDN'T BRING HOTEL OJ INTO THIS I WOULD'VE CRIED IF THEY PUT SEASON 3 CHARACTERS INTO HOTEL OJ OR MADE IT ALL SLEEK AND S3 STYLE
- the "you can do this" thing at the end was fucking stupid man that was so corny (btw corny isn't always bad but jesus christ... this episode was just awful with it)
- could not feel any emotion towards the Emotional Parts but laughter and secondhand embarrassment
- HOW DID THEY GET THE FUNDING FOR A LIBRARY? I THOUGHT THE PROBLEM WAS THAT MEPHONE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING FOR A PRIZE HOW DID HE PAY FOR AN ENTIRE LIBRARY
- speaking of, why isn't oj back at the hotel. doesn't he have to manage it. wasn't paper having a ton of trouble managing it. why are all of them still on that fuckass island. did the library take like 5 minutes to build what the fuck
- ALSO!!! Why did they build a library in the middle of a deserted island
- i liked the short nickloon scene because im a nicklooner
- glad yinyang and candle got to talk
- test tube saying nearly nothing at all the entire episode except for sitting on the ground in a really stupid pose and apologizing to cabby made me laugh
- weirded out by tt and fan not talking to each other at all? not as a ship thing but like they're best friends aren't they
- really fucking annoyed by the fantube family picture at the end i hate fantube family leave that grown ass adult (bot) alone
- glad they didn't canonize any ships i was so scared about silvercandle and fantube
- 4s scene and s1 flashback was cool i love s1 so i got excited
- aaaaand i think my misogyny thread is relevant again. i should update it sometime because ii has only gotten worse about it lmao
- didn't like them making clover stupid for some reason like "is he talking about me?" come on
- oj not talking in these last two episodes is so glaringly unusual because he's never been able to shut his fucking mouth for even a minute
#juice.txt#ii neg#ii spoilers#i love this show but jesus fucking christ#absolute dogshit writing its so embarrassing
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Is Prime's arc really over?
I mean, he's dead alright, no doubt in that, and tbh I sort of hope that he will not be brought back to life. But. BUT.
This is a long ass rant. If you open it, it's on you.
Even in the last confrontation between Prime and C-137 we didn't really get any solid confirmations of Prime and C-137 origin story. We know they've met, we know Prime showed C-137 "infinity" (in his own words) and killed C-137's family, which resulted into C-137 trying to hunt him down, but except those facts confirmed and explained in s6ep1, s7ep3, s7ep5, nothing else was. Not the real meaning of their conversation in the garage, not even the fact of this garage meet-up being the first time they've met, and also not the meaning of Prime's words that he misses it when there were only two of them.
Both Mortys seem to buy everything Evil Morty extracted from C-137's memories (Evil Morty is confident in his tech and Prime Morty is just like that lol), but can we really trust that those memories are intact? What if, just like with Federation, Rick kept main points of events, but changed the details or timeline, that can potentially flip the meaning or change the tone of said events?
The most confusing part in relation to the timeline for me is Prime's slips during his rants: "I do miss when it was just us. The only two Rick's who actually invented portal travel", especially combined with "I showed you infinity".
It makes sense in two possible situations: if Prime showed C-137 the portal tech ("showed you infinity"), offered it, was rejected, left, killed his family and then was actively fucking with C-137 during the first hunt (which can explain the "miss when it was just us" line) OR if Prime showed him the portal tech, C-137, being inspired, also invented the portal travel, and then he and Prime were on friendly terms for some time after that, travelling together or each on their own with random meet-ups, until Prime offered him something else, which C-137 declined. Then everything else followed.
And honestly? IMO, first option doesn't line up. We never saw clones or decoys of Prime during C-137's first hunt in the crybaby backstory, no mocking images of Diane, nothing that could possibly indicate that Prime was actively playing with him. We also see other Ricks owning portal technology during young C-137's run, so there already weren't "just two of us", only in the very beginning maybe. Prime obviously watched C-137 to keep track on him and his whereabouts and shenanigans, but we don't see him making any moves himself, interacting with C-137 in any way. So what's there to miss at all?
Let's look at the second option. What's really interesting about it is how Prime's words "I showed you infinity" can be interpreted in two ways that are not mutually exclusive - as in showing interdimensional travel or showing something entirely else, possibly even bigger. Like something that was supposed to create "Infinite Rick, a GOD", which was mentioned in the 'falce' memory in 03x01 together with another interesting line: "Once we give you this technology, you become the smartest man in the universe". Since we know that Rick uses his own memories to fool people, it's entirely possible that these lines are real, they sound real, like something Prime could say. But.
But how simply owning a technology makes you the smartest man in the universe? The answer is - it doesn't. You just own it. You don't become smarter because you get your hands on a sci-fi tech, unless it alters your own mind/brain to make you smarter, and portal travel doesn't work like that.
This is just a theory based on the altered memory of Rick C-137, but what if Rick Prime wasn't just giving out portal tech, but was actively doing almost the same thing Evil Morty have done - absorbing every possible knowledge of every Rick he encountered, maybe connecting them in some kind of a web instead of killing them, so he could cover his presence not using a Morty, but creating virtual clones of himself everywhere in all those Ricks? Maybe that's what he was tempting C-137 with - infinite knowledge of infinite Rick. Unite every single one of them, make them bigger than the universe, make them THE GOD in every sense possible.
Only that it can cost you everything. Cost you your humanity. Change you ultimately, make you so much above any other being, that it will eventually sound lonely. So Rick C-137 declined.
It's just a random ass theory. But how does it sound?
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#rick and morty theory#rick and morty thoughts#rick and morty timeline#prime rick#rick c137#rick prime#i need to vent about rick sanchez tm#long post#long reads#r&m
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enemies to lovers with billy 😈
Did you mean: the best prompt?
no but fr fr i feel like this prompt is low key perfect for him because billy hargrove has a lotta enemies but probably not many lovers (like lovers in the sense of...love??) so let's examine that huh
warnings: angst, canon-typical mentions of domestic abuse & language
getting in billy hargrove's bad books is not hard. literally all it takes is looking at him wrong or bumping him into by accident and he's >:(
tbf by default he's kind of mean to everyone. we'll call it a defense mechanism
but to be his actual enemy?? that takes a bit more
you would have to hurt him in some kinda way. probably one where you meet for the first time and instantly he's taken aback by the way he feels about you - like it's warm and fuzzy and different to when he's met other people he's into - but straight away you tell him to fuck off because you know who he is and what he's like
and honestly it's quite funny because the tension between you is so DAMN obvious
it's not even bad tension. it's just the way you both give each other this intense eye contact and throw creative insults without even trying
"nice toupee, hargrove" etc
one night, you're all hanging out with your mutual friends - there's weed and alcohol and board games - and before you know it, you and billy are the last two left in your living room
you refuse to let him drive home and whilst you're bickering about how his ability to drive when he's sober is bad enough, it's like something snaps and suddenly his lips are on yours
so you starting shacking up in secret, basically
he has a few minor bruises that you see in passing but hell, you're too distracted to ask and it's not like billy would ever answer
you don't actually begin to see the depth behind his personality until one day at the pool; billy's in a BAD mood - even by his standards - and he makes a backhanded comment to you in passing that's just a little too far
so you follow him to the staff area, about to asking him what the fuck his problem is, and you walk in on him taking off his shirt
everyone (especially the milfs) had noted that he was wearing one today, which was out of character
you see bruises all over his chest and shoulders. deep, purplish-red bruises that are clearly fresh and littered with cuts. not deep ones, but that's not the point
it's a vulnerable moment for him; it's also the first time since you met that his ice cold eyes don't hold that usual spark. they're dull and unforgiving, and he doesn't say a word when you make eye contact in the middle as you're stood behind him
"oh my god," you murmur, "what the fuck did your dad do?"
you don't push any further. you don't need to.
billy is quiet as you clean up his cuts. there's not a single world said until after, when you - completely unprompted - promise not to tell a soul what you saw
he didn't expect to feel safe with you, but that connection he'd wanted to push for since the day you met was finally being forged and billy wasn't about to let that go
so he calls you the next day and, in his own words tells you everything
"i have to put up a front," he explains
"i gotta be a tough guy for my dad so i might as well be one for everyone, right? then no one suspects a thing. it fucked me off when my hard-ass pushed you away the first time we met but i had no idea what to say to you without actually explaining everything"
to be honest, it was probably the fact you promised not to tell anyone about what you'd witnessed that made him trust you. because after everything - him being a dick mostly, but specifically and especially on that day - you still showed yourself to have integrity
and it's not until you say "billy, i respect you more for being a human with emotions rather than a hard ass all the time" that he softens up a little
and now with established depth to your hook up situation, he jumps the gun and asks if you want to pursue something more serious
it's an easy decision: he's difficult as fuck so rest assured, the thrill of the chase will be there but this time, you have someone you can reside in and with whom you can find a mutual safe space
the transition isn't instant; there's a learning curve for both of you. billy has to learn when to open up and you have to teach yourself patience and not to force him
you learn together, though
#asks#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove imagine#billy hargrove imagines#billy hargrove reader insert#billy hargrove headcanons#billy hargrove angst#billy hargrove smut#stranger things imagines#stranger things imagine
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It’s been a while! Being productive at the end of the year is truly one of the most difficult things in the world… But here are some replies~
simplydlightfuldestiny asked:
Whenever I look at the shroud brothers or specifically Idia, I kept thinking: I wonder if he would be hooked of angelique layer?
It's an old series made by CLAMP (card captor sakura, tsubasa chronicles, etc..)
But basically it's a battle of figurines that's linked to your mind and teamwork. I think he may have gotten inspired by it when he first made ortho.
You know, I also wonder what kind of anime Idia used to like as a kid and which ones he likes now. He seems to enjoy the “cute girls doing random things” genre, but he’s also definitely a man of culture that has a lot of favourite titles of all kinds of genre. He definitely would like something from CLAMP.
I haven’t seen Angelique Layer, but BATTLE OF FIGURINES!! That’s fun.
Maybe he did get inspired by it to some degree (he absolutely got inspired by anime, let’s be honest), but I can also imagine Idia realising the similarities later, maybe when he rewatches it together with Ortho.
Anonymous asked:
What would be one example of Azul and Idia being affectionate with one another
What are you talking about, Anon? They're always affectionate.... 🥹
But I’ll answer your question properly as well!
It’s very difficult to catch these two being affectionate with one another due to their condition (“being allergic to being emotionally open and vulnerable”), these instances are quite rare, but also completely depend on Azul’s mood. Idia just prefers not to do anything; the most thing you’d get from him is that sometimes he won’t tease Azul for being affectionate. Sometimes he might even kiss him back or push his cheek against Azul’s in a surprisingly cute way. But for that to work they need to be alone and frankly to shut the fuck up. And once again, Azul needs not to feel bitchy and pissy that day.
But also, these two are the most passionate for each other when they do something together and it works. Especially Azul. If something that he and Idia have been working on works exactly how they’d planned it, he’ll get so overjoyed that he’ll hug and kiss Idia, scaring the shit out of him…
Anonymous asked:
Do you think if Jamil died then Kalim would turn out like Prince Soma in Black Butler? Go from happy to angry-despair?
I honestly believe that Kalim would overblot if something happened to Jamil. I say it every time we’re getting asked about Kalim’s possible overblot (which I find almost impossible, unless something happens to Jamil lol).
But if he is defeated and calmed down, it’d definitely affect his disposition for quite some time. A lot of it also depends on just how Jamil died in this scenario… But even if there is a culprit, I feel like Kalim would be more sad than angry.
Which doesn’t mean that he won’t brutally punish the culprit (which really goes against his morals, so it’d be extra painful), and also doesn’t mean that his mental state won’t progressively get worse and worse. Maybe he’ll become apathetic, maybe he’ll become even more self-indulgent, but deep inside he’ll mourn Jamil forever.
Anonymous asked:
Any thoughts on Ruggie x Idia?
“Oh Ruggie deserved it” was my first thought lol please give him all the S.T.Y.X. money. Azul would have to fight the hyena boy yet again!!
But in all honesty, that vignette where Ruggie saw Idia stalking Jack during the PE class and didn’t tell on him was quite nice. Even though it was for Ruggie’s own benefit, I like how he prefers to build connections instead of immediately trying to blackmail Idia for some perks.
+ I really like the fact that Ruggie seemed to be aware that Idia Shroud is _that_ Shroud, while the rest of the cast seemingly either didn’t think much about Idia at all or believed that he just happens to have the same last name as that rich and powerful family. It just shows who really pays attention lol
In general, even though they really don’t have all that much in common, at the same time both of them have this pragmatic side and “mind your own business” side, so I think they could get along or at least have interesting interactions. One thing that they definitely would have a conflict about is the fact that Idia clutters his place with merch and stuff, and Ruggie absolutely wouldn’t understand the idea of collecting useless items (we’ve seen this conflict during their Glorious Masquerade interactions)… So there is a lot of “food” for this ship if you think about it.
So yeah, we’re not deeply into them, but we definitely aren’t opposed to them as a ship.
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Don't mind me, just sitting down here drifting into my own thoughts about how vince and the rest of the brba/bcs writers managed to write gustavo fring in a way so thematically queer and his entire plot line being centred around max's death and his revenge, but to me it's the themes that just hit too close to home.
(I hide in plain sight) as someone who exists in a place where queerness is a crime, this is very much how I live. The double life of chicken man during the day kingpin by the just reads to me as queer allegory.
(look at him, its you're fault) do I need to explain this one at all? If you ever came across religious homophobia you'd be told that your queerness is what doomed you from the start and the harm that comes to you and your loved ones is just a natural consequence of your queerness. I remember being Bearley 16, my first partner being dragged away and into a fate that I'll never know of, and my dad telling me that if anything happens to her, it's my fault, while being pinned to a wall and searched befor entry to conversion therapy, sobbing my eyes out. The hermanos scene was so fucking traumatising to say the least, the desperation in both gus's and max's eyes and the fear that consumes any other emotion or thought, I know it too well. Honestly, I feel like an absolute joke literally having a ptsd flashback because of this scene and then reading that giancarlo said that gus's sexuality is up to interpretation, like am I joke to you or what ? Love this man as much as any fan, but bro, I just rather you'd call me a slur ?
( a bullet to the head would be too humane) There is also the anger, vengeance, and grudge he holds. Though because he is very practical, we rarely get to see this peak through, but it's definitely his greatest motivation. And I dont know how to put this into words, but if had the chance to hurt the people that hurt me and took away my ability to protect someone I promised to protect, I fucking would. He'll I'd set the systems that are built to destroy me a blaze. Though for now, me being alive, breathing, surviving, is its own kind of revenge.
( Hector vs. Gus ) this one is pretty obvious, lone wolf queer swearing off any kind of emotional connection throwing away the last 20 years of his life to avenge the death of his lover, he also expresses masculinity just never in the traditional sence, going against hector who's very much the family guy, his entire existence and power is within his family, the traditional patriarchal image of a man. They literally are opposites in everything. when hector barges into los pollos heramnos, he completely disrespects the place and "immaculates" gus by cleaning his shoes on the desk and smoking inside the restaurant. On the other hand, we see gus smiling after the Salamancas left, knowing that this meant he successfully sabotaged their operation. He won, he's the in dominance, but he won't flaunt it or scream and shout or be an ass hole unless he absolutely needs to, other than that we never see him interested in showing off his muscles to anyone. Of course, unlike hector. He'll shit himself as a show of dominance and masculinity, literally lmao.
I just hope that this shows that Queerness isn't just about sexuality and gender. It literally changes how you interact with the whole world. Whether or not this was intentionally done by the writers, a brilliant conicdance of all these things coming together and making gustavo fring is one of the best queer characters to ever be on the TV screens. I know people will mention the wine bar scene, or the 2 times he stood by the same exact same spot at eladio's pool, or fact that gus never expressed interest in women, etc. But this isn't all there is. TO ME, there is not a reading of Gustavo fring that wouldn't end up reading him as queer, specifically because of the themes listed above. And (up to interpretation) is not good enough and will never be. You don't get to profit off of me watching this getting retrumatised and then acting like it's a total stretch for me to see myself in that. It INFURATES ME honestly relating to this piece of media, that I'm probably not welcomed into the fandom or even seen as reaching far to get to the queer reading of this character, the queer fans deserve so much better than this.
Also, I know when vince and giancarlo would probably be so uncomfortable at the suggestion that gus and max have been lovers i know my bois James Martinez and Peter Gould got my back
Fucking love yall
I hope the next time I hyper fixate on a queer character that they'd be written or played by queer people. I don't think anyone could have played gus better than giancarlo himself, but how hard it is to just acknowledge that it's an integral part of who gus is? I guess it's too much for the P.R. lmao.
#gusmax#gus fring#gustavo fring#los pollos hermanos#vince gilligan#giancarlo esposito#james martinez#breaking bad#better call saul#fuck you vince#youre a brilliant writer but a fucking asshole for this one
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You know, Final Fantasy 7 is one of my favourite games ever (my top favs are HZD/HFW, all games involving FF7 and - although it's getting worse - Dragon Age) and I would like to write about something that doesn't sit right with me.
Warning: this post is a Sephiroth apology‼️🌸
So, remember the end of FF7 Remake, where Cloud & Co get to the end of the Midgar highway and they meet Sephiroth? In that exact moment, Aerith tells him "you're wrong", marking the word "wrong". She doesn't mean he's wrong about something, she literally means his whole existence is wrong and he shouldn't have been there or anywhere else in the first place.
Now, that remark rubbed me the wrong way, because Aerith is the only character connected to the Planet in this story and she's supposed to be very empathetic of what and how people suffer. She also lived in the Shinra building during her childhood and she hated it, she perfectly knows how things work there and she loathes - rightfully so - professor Hojo, because she knows what an unscrupulous and ruthless man he is. This would mean she met a younger Sephiroth at some point, and yeah she was still a child, but she must've noticed he was a kind and actually very submissive guy (maybe I'll get to this later???). I think she knows he too was subjected to experiments, just like she was, but this doesn't seem to bother her and she goes straight to saying something on the line of "you shouldn't exist".
In another moment in FF7 Rebirth, you can get a dialogue with Tifa in which she tells you she is "sick of Sephiroth cruelty [...]" and so on. Now, I agree with her, all she got from Sephiroth was her dad's death, wouldn't you be fucking pissed at him and hate him and want him dead? Yeah.
Thing is, I agree with Tifa and disagree with Aerith, but all of this makes me wonder: have they thought what a horrible and traumatic life Sephiroth had until that point?
Sephiroth:
-was born an experiment
-was taken away from his own mother, never met her
-doesn't even know his father
-as a child, he's shy and submissive, never gets any friends, he thus grows up lonely
-he spends most of his life in Hojo's lab, among Mako energy, needles and treatments
-no one ever showed him affection nor love, he was simply raised like a weapon in the hands of the most powerful corporation of the world
-his only two friends, as an adult, abandoned him
-one of his two best friends tells him the truth about him without the hint of some tact, he also calls him "monster" not knowing he's feeding the "insane gene" (let's call it that) in him
-the only new friend he gets, a recruit, jumps straight to conclusions instead of trying to help him
-he always said he wanted a "normale life" and he was forced into that. He also was one step away from leaving Shinra before the accident of Nibelheim happened
There's actually more to point out, but let's just take a step back and think about how an entire life of traumas, deprivation and loneliness can drive a person wild and cause Personality Disorders, Depression and Psychosis. I'm honestly surprised he even endured so much for so long and that would mean he'd be ok if only someone really cared for him and didn't see him as a "hero", a "star" or someone unreachable. His snapping point was reading all the history of Gast and Hojo's experiments and learning more about Jenova. That, sadly, adds up to the trauma he has to face and he even cries about it, meaning he was definitely still (emotionally) sane. Perhaps, it would have taken only one word of comfort but not even Zack was there for him, instead he acted a little harsh, in my opinion.
By this I don't mean things had to go differently, because otherwise I wouldn't have had one of my favourite stories out there, I'm just trying to point out how deplorable Aerith's comment sounds, especially knowing she's so caring and empathetic. I just don't like tha fact that such a dialogue line was written, but at the end I am but a humble Sephiroth apologist.
"You're wrong". No, Sephiroth is not wrong, all the people who surrounded him were.
#sephiroth#ff7#final fantasy 7#ff7r#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy 7 rebirth#sephiroth apology#aerith was harsh man#i love his character
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