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#Jamie Tartt
walnutmistjamie · 3 days
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Jamie being cute (2/?)
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lunar-years · 18 hours
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Twitter people are very upset about this. I, however, am chuckling.
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lasshoe · 2 days
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seated for challengers
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For this week’s @ficwip word: motion
“Now, Sam, I don’t trust Jamie to tell me. He’ll just say something, so I don’t worry. Tell me the truth, how is he?” Georgie asked.
Jamie made a motion cutting across his neck, trying to silence the truth before turning the phone back to himself. “I’m fine, Mummy, I just need to rest a couple days. I’ll probably be playing in the match next weekend.”
“Georgie! He is lying,” Sam said leaning over to be in view of the Facetime.
“Come on, mate!”
Sam pulled the phone from Jamie’s grasp.
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laiqualaurelote · 2 days
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Ok but for the file thing, I'm DYING to know more about "The first thing Isaac chopped in half with his hand was the BELIEVE sign" pls <3
thank you for this ask for the WIP game! this is an extremely cracky AU in which the Richmond Players all start manifesting superpowers.
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The first thing Isaac chopped in half with his hand was the BELIEVE sign. The second was Zoreaux.
To be fair to Isaac, he had failed to chop Jamie in half. (More on this later.) Thus, while Jamie went off to sulk and Zoreaux ambled up to poke at the broken sign saying, “Maybe we can make a new one?” Isaac thought nothing of clapping him on the back and replying, “Sure thing, bruv.”
His hand went through Zoreaux like a hot knife through butter. Zoreaux didn’t exactly fall apart, but he did sort of peel away in two halves like a melted clock in a Dalí painting. He was screaming the whole time. It was the modern art mash-up nobody wanted to see.
Isaac gaped at him in horror. The other players were yelling. “Bro! What did you do!”
“I didn’t – ” began Isaac. 
Zoreaux was still screaming. Weirdly, there was no blood or anything. The edges of him seemed to have been pinched off, like Play-doh.
“We must put him back together!” shouted Dani. He and Richard were on their knees, trying to jam the two halves of Zoreaux back together, only Zoreaux seemed to be drooping and stretching through their fingers. “Mon dieu,” gasped Richard. “He is like cheese! But not good cheese! Like the cheap mozzarella from Pizza Express!”
“Osti de tabarnak de sacrament!” shrieked Zoreaux. “What the fuck is happening!”
“I got the duct tape!” called Will, rushing in. He tossed the roll to Sam, who began trying to tape Zoreaux back together as the rest of the players rushed in to try and help. 
“Wait, wait.” Something was happening as Sam’s hands brushed against the halves of Zoreaux. They seemed to be melding back together. “Sam!” cried Dani. “It’s you! You are healing him!”
“Wow,” said Sam, staring at his hands as they knit Zoreaux back together. “Wait, I need to make sure he’s aligned properly. Can I get more light?”
Everyone was temporarily blinded as Dani burst into a blazing ball of brilliance.
“...okay,” said Sam after some time, “way more light than I needed, but thank you.”
“De nada, Sam!” 
It was at this point that Trent Crimm walked into the room. He stopped and put on his glasses, as if that would clarify the tableau of the AFC Richmond team duct-taping their cloven goalkeeper together while one of their strikers was blazing like a lighthouse beacon and their captain stood in the corner with his hands apologetically raised in the air. 
“What,” said Trent, “the actual fuck?”
*
Trent’s first thought was that he would have to re-pitch his book as a fantasy novel, because nobody was going to take it seriously as non-fiction any more.
“So you’ve got healing hands,” he repeated to Sam.
“I think so?” Sam stared at his hands. “Or maybe I just have the ability to stick things back together. I don’t know. Perhaps I should test it on another injury?”
Across the locker room, O’Brien cleared his throat. “Sam? Can you touch my butt?”
Trent and the players turned to stare at him. 
“Not for gay reasons,” O’Brien clarified. “For science.”
“Both of those are valid,” said Sam. “I would be happy to touch your butt for you.”
Trying to ignore O’Brien casually dropping trou in the corner, Trent removed his spectacles and pinched the bridge of his nose. Dani’s brightness was giving him a migraine. “I’m sorry, bruv,” said Isaac to Zoreaux for the thousandth time.
“It’s okay,” said Zoreaux. They had yet to remove the duct tape, just in case, so he looked like a very poorly-wrapped package. “It didn’t actually hurt. I was just freaking out, bro.”
Babatunde was holding on to Zoreaux’s little finger and walking across the room while Bumbercatch followed him with a measuring tape to see how far the finger could stretch. “Three metres!” yelled Bumbercatch as Richard tried to cross the room to his locker and ended up having to do the limbo under the finger. “Okay, take it around the corner!”
“I just thought,” went on Isaac, “‘cos I touched Jamie, and I didn’t chop him in half…” He trails off.
“What?” said Jamie. And then, as Isaac made a move towards him, “Whoa! Are you fucking mental?”
“Sorry.” Isaac backed off. 
“Could I test a theory?” ventured Trent. “Bearing in mind that I mean this as a purely scientific inquiry.”
“Sure,” said Jamie. “Whatev – oi!” he yelled as Trent stabbed him in the hand with his pen.
The pen snapped in two. Ink splattered over Jamie’s hand, the skin of which remained unbroken. Jamie screwed up his nose. “That’s disgusting, man.”
“I think you’re invulnerable, Jamie,” said Trent.
Jamie considered this. “That mean I can’t be hurt?”
“I believe so, yes. We’ll have to run more tests to be sure.”
“Huh,” said Jamie. “Sick.”
“It worked!” O’Brien yelled from across the room. “It’s a miracle! I’m healed!”
“Okay,” said Trent wearily, “so we’ve got…five superpowers that have manifested so far. Anybody else feel a superpower coming on?”
“I got one,” called out Jan Maas. “I’m always right.”
The locker room erupted in laughter. “Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas,” they chorused.
Jan shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
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mitskijamie · 2 days
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The truth is autism, does speak. And usually it's about the city of Amsterdam.
AMSTERDAM'S ORIGINS DATE BACK TO THE THIRTEENTH CENTURY!!!!!!!!!!!! MAD, INNIT???????
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snailpicnic · 20 hours
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There’s a scene in Criminal Minds where an HR rep comes to give a presentation on sexual harassment in the workplace and it’s clearly based on actual behavior from Morgan and Garcia.
So now I’m imagining a similar situation with Roy and Jamie. All of Richmond AFC sitting through mandatory harassment training when the slide comes up of “Examples of Innapropriate Behaviour” and it’s like:
1. Asking coworkers to tie strings around their genitalia
2. Tying colleagues to a bicycle and yelling “mush”
3. Making employees repeat degrading remarks about their own appearance
And Roy’s just like:
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izzyspussy · 3 days
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ficwip word: motion
Jamie walks on his knees across the pitch, watches with a thrill and a spike of heat as Roy's jaw drops. He's speechless, motionless, when Jamie comes to kneel between his feet. Speechless, motionless, and - when Jamie sneaks a glance before averting his eyes respectfully back to Roy's face - hard.
from take away the glass, currently 54k
Sign up here to be tagged when I post this or other Ted Lasso fic.
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drakkywolf · 1 day
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instagram
This happened in Richmond! They say in the caption that it happens once a month in the summer. So:
I didn't include Ted because he doesn't have a car but to me, if he did, he would total at least three like this during his stay.
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jamiesfootball · 8 hours
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🌹🌷🌻
Got brain wave today and wrote a fic. Like a whole fic, start to finish. Transcribing it as we speak but here's a snippet of it:
He cupped Jamie’s face between his hands. “See, you pass to Zava, and Zava scores. Zava scores; Zava wins. Everyone is happy. Even you.” He shook Jamie’s head for him. “See how much better it feels when you do not fight it?”
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instantcaramel · 15 hours
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anya-chalotra · 11 months
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#i’ll take the ambiguous but domestic ot3 happily ever after, thanks
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darwinsfinchesx · 11 months
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Make it a performance. I want you winning an Oscar at the ESPYs next year.
Ted Lasso | 1.03 -> 3.12
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billy-crudup · 1 year
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TED LASSO 3.10 | International Break
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mitskijamie · 2 days
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Roy = gay son, Keeley = thot daughter, Jamie = gay thot sondaughter
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