Ok, so I said I’d make a theory that the ancient dwarves in Dragon Age made and that I’d compile a bunch of evidence to this theory, whether it proves or disproves it, but I literally cannot even focus on stuff that I WANT to focus on so instead I’ll just ramble about stuff that I can vaguely remember watching/reading/listening to in-game. 

(TBH this is mostly a crack theory that I think would make a pretty cool AU fic lol)

1. They made Golems. Golems, even during the time of Caridin, which I believe was the first time “modernish” dwarves made a Golem, weren’t something new. I think it’s Caridin’s journal that states the inspiration for Golems came from a dream, which might have been an innocuous detail, as getting ideas from dreams is kind of common occurrence I think, if it wasn’t obvious later on that something weird is going on with the dwarves’ mental connection to the Stone. Something else seemed to guide Caridin through the process of making Golem, besides his own natural brilliance. 

2. Dagna. Dagna’s probably biggest support of this theory, when she talks about hearing all the thoughts, or being all the thoughts. Like she was “as big as a mountain, or I was the mountain.” It was like she was seeing through a massive consciousness of many collected beings, which, if the dwarves from the Descent area (the Sha-Brytol) are in a way absorbed into the area, or if the “Stone” (as it is) has spirits in it or something, would be possible in a weird way. 

3. The dwarven halls are HUGE! Now this is probably just because the dwarves were epic architects and because they could do it, they were going to do it, but also it could mayyyyyyybe be possible they needed to fit something huge through there, too. Like a giant mecha suit. It’s brought up a couple times by a few characters (I think Sera’s one of them) and it seems like an interesting observation. 

4. Not a part of this theory, but additionally: what if the Titans are ancient dwarves? Like those things are ancient “golems” and they possess the souls of old dwarves. 

Honestly, I just think it would be super cool to have an AU with dwarves that have giant stone mecha suits, that don’t require blood sacrifices.   

Not sure if you already talked about this. (I’m pretty sure you have) but someone seemed to notice that when the trio get into fights, Hermione’s always in the right. Even when she’s supposed to be wrong she always seems to be half right. That kind of bothers me. Especially since it’s evident in the whole Scabbers situation.

I have indeed, on Quora, so let’s move yet another answer of mine to Tumblr!

Hermione is seldom wrong in the Harry Potter books. Sometimes she makes mistakes but those mistakes are either completely swept under the rug or downright ignored.

It’s partly due to lazy writing and partly due to Rowling’s own growing bias in favour of her Author Avatar that was fuelled by Steve Kloves, the primary advocate of the Hermione Granger Is The Perfect Girl Ever line of thinking (an utterly ridiculous line of thinking mind you).

Lizo: Steve, Hermione is a character that you have said is one of your favorites. Has that made her easier to write?

Steve: Yeah, I mean, I like writing all three, but I've always loved writing Hermione. Because, I just, one, she's a tremendous character for a lot of reasons for a writer, which also is she can carry exposition in a wonderful way because you just assume she read it in a book. If I need to tell the audience something...

JKR: Absolutely right, I find that all the time in the book, if you need to tell your readers something just put it in her. There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue. One is Hermione, the other is Dumbledore. In both cases you accept, it's plausible that they have, well Dumbledore knows pretty much everything anyway, but that Hermione has read it somewhere. So, she's handy.

Now this, right here, is the exact core of the problem.

Rowling herself admits it: if she wants the readers to have information, she puts Hermione in the scene. Hermione is our primary means of exposition because, like *grits teeth* Sssssteve puts it, it’s easy to assume that she’s read about it somewhere and it makes sense.

That’s all well and good but at first, if you notice, Ron also gave us exposition about the wizarding world, mostly about its culture. He was able to recall the exact year of the Wizarding Confederation that outlawed dragon breeding in Philosopher’s Stone! He explained what were respectively a “Mudblood”, a “Squib”, and Parseltongue, Hermione doing a little exposition about the history of that last one! He was also able to identify Sirius, after being dragged into the Whomping Willow, as an Animagi!

But then Goblet of Fire happens and you can notice the first change that will exponentially grow through the books: instead of Ron, pureblood Ron, born-before-the-end-of-the-war Ron, lived-through-the-aftermath-of-the-war Ron, identifying the Dark Mark, it’s instead Hermione, muggleborn Hermione, lived-as-a-Muggle-for-most-of-her-life Hermione, has-no-idea-about-the-emotional-impact-of-the-Mark Hermione who looks terrified as the Dark Mark shoots into the sky!

And it only will get worse, by the end of the series, Hermione pretty much knows about everything the plot needs her to know, instead of having to work with things she knows but can’t always apply to the situation:

Suddenly has a deep knowledge of Magical Law (in the will of Dumbledore’s chapter, while we had Rufus Scrimgeour who could have provided it to us, or to a lesser extent, Ron could have explained how a wizarding will basically worked)

Is suddenly an expert at finding edible plants and mushrooms. Apparently books are always the goddamn answer in JKR’s world, you can literally learn anything from them

She can decipher all the Tales of Beedle the Bard (may I remind you that they were written in Runes, okay Hermione may have a few years of Ancient Runes education BUT I once tried to translate a 3k+ story I had written for fun, from French to English, which means I knew what the subtleties and intentions were, I knew which turns of phrase I had to preserve so it would make sense in the end, and it still took me two gruelling weeks to get a satisfying result!)

Has suddenly grown a sense of quick-thinking (escaping Xenophilius’ house, using the jinx to make Harry’s face weird-looking) despite it being the only remaining flaw she had at the time (remember when she turned her back on her enemy while he was still conscious just to compliment Harry, and almost died as a result, even though she had been training in the DA to learn how to fight Death Eaters?) Quick-thinking under pressure can be learned, but it takes time and a lot of work to force your brain to override its instinct - and it’s fine because we’re all human and different. But no suddenly Hermione is the Greatest Strategist Evah™ and those silly boys (who actually were the original quick-thinking ones, and one of them was established as the strategist early on) better be grateful for this literal goddess because she protects them from all harm with her superhuman brain.

Somehow knows about Quidditch stuff - she knows about a Snitch’s “memory-touch”. Why should she give all the answers? Why can’t Ron give us this particular tidbit of information?

And then when we come to something Ron actually knows, the damn narration itself goes “woah a book that Ron has read but Hermione hasn’t??? shocking!! incredible!! Ron is not dumb, somebody call the news channel”. But… is that really so surprising? We’ve never seen Hermione read wizarding fiction or even Muggle fiction. We’ve never seen Hermione with anything other than schoolbooks in her hands. Of course Ron has read books she hasn’t read since she doesn’t seem to read fiction at all!

Sorry, bit of a tangent over here.

There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue.

So, that’s one part of the problem: the fact that Rowling, after making Ron our insight into magical culture and Hermione our provider of knowledge, ended up saying “eh whatever I guess Hermione can tell us everything we gotta know because it’s more convenient for me”. Which is a decision that was not based on Hermione’s character, but simply lazy writing. Long story short, it probably went: “Could Ron explain this bit of trivia? Meh, better make Hermione say it cause she’ll have read it in a book. It’s convenient and I won’t need to bother myself with exploring Ron’s characterisation.”

(And thus completely forgetting that Ron could maybe ask his big brothers via owl and provide us with a good heap of extra advanced knowledge - Bill is supposed to have aced his NEWTs after all.)

The other part of the problem is quite simply that Hermione is more often than not, either painted as a victim by the narrative (which makes more people take her side, classic manipulation tactic), or made to be right anytime it’s about a plot point.

Hermione’s mistakes are never explicitly stated, corrected, or even pointed out as being unethical.

Hermione only gets one mistake expressedly pointed out as being a mistake: her misadventure in Polyjuice Potion. The rest of them? Even her crush on Lockhart can’t be counted as a mistake - people get crushes all the time, based solely on physical appearance, it’s not something awful or terrible (Except when it’s Ron who crushes on someone. Ron crushing on someone is absolutely forbidden, and he must be punished with much ridicule and humiliation if he thinks he can get away with not worshipping Hermione like the goddess she is. The nerve of him, really.).

Throughout the books Hermione eventually morphs into Rowling’s Powerful Angel of Vengeance, that punishes the people who dared to do something she disliked - Rita is silenced but at a very ethically dubious price; Marietta gets scarred for life because she was more loyal to her mother than to a bunch of people her friend insisted she hang out with; Umbridge is led to a very, very alarming fate that is never made clear but some people have ideas and they’re not all very kid-friendly; Ron first is “helped” without knowing it because Hermione can’t be bothered to have faith in his capabilities, then when he fails to dutifully reward her for “helping” him, she causes him bodily harm before actively bullying him for not mind-reading her interest in him; causes even more bodily harm to Ron because that’s how feminism works; etc.

Hermione’s mistakes are always justified through the plot itself (which is lazy writing).

Turning into a cat? Only affects her.

The Firebolt? Scabbers? Well, in the end, it was really sent by Sirius Black and Crookshanks really wasn’t the culprit. Therefore all the feelings that were hurt and all the trust lost are irrelevant because Hermione was right all along.

Trying to free the house-elves? Well, it’s the intent that counts, right? And we’re never told enough about house-elf lore to know whether they’re poor brainwashed victims or powerful Penate-like symbiotes who need to serve a wizard to survive?

Kidnapping Rita Skeeter, trapping her and blackmailing her? Rita may be one foul little beetle, but that’s going a bit far, isn’t it? Harry approves? Oh, well, I guess it’s okay then…? A main character can’t have a dubious morality, right?

Manipulating Harry into forming Dumbledore’s Army and forcing him to relive a traumatic event with the same woman she’s kidnapped and blackmail and that she knows he hates? In the end, it all works out for the best and Harry’s hurt feelings don’t matter since it’s all about the greater good.

Using the centaurs to get rid of Umbridge (which poses the highly distressing question of what did the centaurs do to her?), realizing that the centaurs aren’t nice little horsies that are going to gently obey her every orders like good Disney princess’ companions, my goodness could this be an opportunity for character growth - nevermind, here comes Grawp the Giant Ex Machina, saving her arse and protecting Hermione from all that scary possibility of introspection. Thanks, Grawp Ex Machina.

Trying to dissuade a highly stressed-out and irrational Harry from rescuing Sirius by telling him exactly what he needed not to hear, a.k.a. “you have a saving people-thing” which causes Harry to completely go bonkers and go save his godfather without thinking twice? Well she was right after all, it was a trap! Nevermind how mind-boggingly insenstive and inadept at dealing with someone else’s feelings she was being, she was right! That means it wasn’t Hermione’s mistake!… probably. (Geez, I’m sensing a pattern here…)

Endangering Cormac’s life (Confunding him WHILE HE’S ON HIS BROOM) to promote Ron’s success? Oh but that’s so romantic! (Yeaaaah, how romantic to display exactly how much faith you lack in your crush. Top it off with a broken neck and that’s a picture perfect first date!)

Assaulting Ron with magic and causing him even more scars than he already had? But he was being cold with her first, right? And he totally should have known she was asking him out! It’s not like her invitation was even worse than his attempt to ask her out two years earlier! Plus she’s just a teenage girl expressing her emotions, anyone who tries to find fault in this is a disgusting abusive misogynist pig! Ha!

Getting all jealous that Harry is better than her at Potions, then pretending she’s not jealous by claiming that TEH BOOK IS EVIL, HARRY, and giving him the cold shoulder too? But no, she’s right, look, Harry used Sectumsempra and he almost killed Draco, nevermind that he’s very horrified about it! Hermione was right, like she always is!

Hermione Obliviating her parents, which pulls her from the “ethically dubious” zone into the “wow okay I’m pretty sure that this counts as a violation of basic human rights” zone, makes her one of those quirky wizardfolk who have the privilege to control those simple-minded Muggles because it’s for the greater good? But nooo she’s crying about it so it’s obviously very sad and angsty and it shows her devotion to the cause!

Splinching Ron while fleeing from the Ministry? Eeeh, but he’s fine, they’ve got Dittany, he’s good as new!… blood loss? Anaemia? What’s that?

Hermione was wrong about the Deathly Hallows not existing? Um, um, that doesn’t matter, LOOK DOBBY IS DEAD AND HARRY IS BACK TO LOOKING FOR THE HORCRUXES!! Therefore Hermione was right, the Hallows weren’t important for their quest, therefore the Hallows might as well not exist, HERMIONE WAS RIGHT NO REALLY I’VE GOT RECEIPTS -

The books never forget to remind Harry and Ron of their own shortcomings and moments of weakness.

Harry’s wrath and recklessness cost Sirius his life. This is the lesson he has to learn from his entitled behaviour in OotP: actions have consequences, and the greater your responsibility, the greater the cost will be.

Ron’s envy and insecurity lead him astray; they’re used to humiliate, ridicule and torture him throughout the books. They’re supposed to teach him that he’s worth something - but how is he supposed to believe that, when nobody ever tells him he’s worth anything? When nobody ever apologizes to him? When his feelings are taken for granted over and over? When his two friends seem to discard him whenever he does one thing wrong?

Hermione is never punished. Hermione is never said to be wrong, never shown to be wrong, never called out on her behaviour. From Prisoner of Azkaban to mid-Deathly Hallows, she stays exactly the same character. She doesn’t grow up. She doesn’t learn. She doesn’t change. She has virtually no character arc.

The only time, THE ONLY TIME IN SEVEN BOOKS, the only time we have something remotely resembling a call-out of Hermione’s horrible behaviour is with this sole quote in HBP:

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

Note how it’s about “girls” and not Hermione in particular, which implies that any girl would do what Hermione does to Ron. Thanks for the generalization, JKR, but I like to believe I’m actually a decent sort of person that doesn’t resort to petty cruelty and exploits my friends’ insecurities whenever I’m angry with them.

Hermione NEVER has to apologize. Hermione NEVER has to learn from her mistakes because she’s always presented as a victim when she really isn’t. Hermione NEVER develops into something more - she’s emotionally stuck at fourteen years old. Even less than that when you consider that her reaction to Ron’s return in Deathly Hallows is to trash him with her fists - and she was going to get her wand!! The utter psychopathic b- wanted TO THROW BIRDS AT HIM AGAIN!!! - and this reaction is an appropriate one for a four-years old girl, but certainly not for a supposedly “mature” seventeen-years old.

(Yes, because what separates a child from an adult is the ability to reign in your emotions and not succumb to your impulses. Exactly what Ron did when he left the tent (notice that he had drawn his wand, then he left before he could start hexing Harry), he left to calm himself down. Exactly what Hermione fails to do when Ron returns (she has the impulse to strike him and immediately succumbs to it, which proves to us that The Brightest Witch Of Her Age has all the maturity of a very small child).)

All of that, on top of the awful portrayal in the movies which removes all of Ron’s characteristics to stuff them into Hermione and turns her into some impossible epitome of perfection, eventually contributed to the portrayal of Hermione as the one who is always right and knows everything.

Add to it JKR’s own ridiculous bias (“Ron was quite emotionally immature compared to the other two”, yeah right I don’t see him trying to force freedom onto unwilling creatures or making Harry fly into an irrational rage with mere words but you do you, Jo) and the sexist misconception that “girls are innately more mature than boys”, and you get yourself this apparent behemoth of righteousness that was literally the sole reason why those two silly boys survived everything, and don’t you dare criticize this angel of perfection OR ELSE.

Love your recent meta on the fate of the Warden what could lie west of Thedas!! Very interesting info, all very well laid out. Apologies for cramming this all into these asks, this is just a Juicy Meta to me and I got excited to see you make a post that touched on it, along with a lot of other good theorizing! With the way dwarves are presented and how it's pointed out the elves were never among the Voshai I wonder if their story is an example of what the world would have been like (1/5)

skeelonsuniverse asked: without sundering the titans. With dwarves being so connected to the titans, could this be laying ground work to expand more on what the kingdoms of the dwarves could have been - for better or for worse - w/o titan hearts being harvested by elven gods? I also support the meta that sundering the titans lead to the blight somehow, so a land of unsundered titans could be a land untouched by the blight as well! (2/5)

A further leap of logic - lets say that the theory that ancient elves were originally spirits that crossed through the fade into the world is the canon. Would a land with no elves mean that there were no opportunities for spirits to cross over? Would the fade be different there, or even exist at all? This kind of touches on a larger question I've had -- did the fade (that the elves of Arlathan knew) exist all over Thedas? When the veil went up, did it cause other disasters in the lands to (3/5)

the North (for humans) and West (Voshai), not to mention executors, lands to the east etc? Or alternately, maybe the fade was only significantly present in the Thedas Proper we know, making it also the only place the spirits could cross over and take on bodies as elves. We know that humans are not native to the parts of Thedas we know (traveled from the North at some point) and iirc there is a lore reference that points to humans becoming weaker in the presence of (4/5) 

the fade, whereas elves feel more rejuvenated. Would the pre-veil fade have been present where humans originally hailed from, just kind of -- ambiently making them feel terrible? Or could their original home not have had it? Similarly, could Voshai have never had elves because they just weren't able to "form" there, leaving dwarves (spawning from titans? drawn to titans?) and humans (travelers) the only ones to make it to their continent? (5/5)  

Hello, thankyou for the in-depth interesting message and for the kind feedback on my ideas/meta, these asks made me smile to receive :) and that’s no problem.

“The Mysterious West” stuff kind of reminds me of Reepicheep’s journey to the Utter East in the Chronicles of Narnia. Not in any kind of religious motif way, just the way it’s named/titled and framed (mysterious far off land) and the idea of a journey beyond the known borders of the map to find something.

The way the society of the Voshai is presented in that tiny glimpse we get of them is really interesting and it raises a lot of questions. Beyond the things I mentioned in my original post, why are they hostile to the people of Laysh? Why are there no elves among the Voshai sailors and traders? I’m very curious about a culture in which it seems dwarves are the upper or ruling class, and/or are so highly respected. Seafaring, ship captain dwarves is also refreshing against the usual tropes of dwarves as warriors, miners and lords under the mountains. I really enjoy the idea you raise that what if this an example of a society where the disconnection of the link between dwarves and Titans never took place. In the discussion with ‘reconnected’ Shaper Valta that the Inquisitor has at the end of Descent, her new [or is it restored? restored is probably a better word for it] powers are demonstrated and she mentions feeling different, stronger and more alive than she ever has. She now has access to the Titan and all its knowledge. It’s easy to watch that conversation back and imagine why a society might hold seemingly enlightened beings with mage-like powers and an ageless wisdom in their speech and countenance in high regard. To add, since the dwarven kingdoms are underground, they could very well - or once have very well - extend[ed] beyond the oceans we know under the seabeds.

I agree that what transpired between the Mythal / the Evanuris and the Titans (mining their bodies for lyrium and hearts, the sundering, the ‘rendering their demesne unto the People’ stuff) is something which is going to be expanded on more in the future. The flags for that were seeded in Descent and Trespasser, and rather cleverly, especially so if you played Trespasser after having completed Descent. If dwarves are “the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood”, imagine what they and dwarven society was in its fullness! Also, I hadn’t considered that a land of unsundered Titans would be a land untouched by Blight, so that’s a great catch. If the Voshai cataclysm really did involve a Blight, I wonder what led to the potential sundering of a Titan in the modern era that this would seem to imply has occurred. Saying that, if it’s a land of unsundered Titans, why did they have such great interest in acquiring lyrium? Were they trying to use it to reinforce reality (see Templar powers) in their land in order to avoid said cataclysm? 

A land with no elves potentially having been a place where there were no opportunities or way for spirits to manifest in such a way is another fascinating line of thinking. I do think things could be different in such a place, as it ties into the idea of opposites that’s going on thematically in the sense that Titans, dwarves and reality are the other side of the coin, in a way, to spirits, elves and the Fade:

[from another post I made] In a kind of metaphysical way, the dwarves are emblematic of the mundane sphere. Not “mundane” as in normal/boring, but in terms of reinforced reality vs reality as mutable, earth and sky, underground vs land, Children of the Stone vs Birds of Fancy, magic resistance vs inherent magical quality, tradition vs change, Titan progenitors vs origins in the Fade prior to taking physical form slash being spirit-y or spirit adjacent. It’s all very thematic, especially when you consider that dwarves do not dream compared to how elves are (or rather, are supposed to be) innately tied to the Fade

The Fade is an ever-changing place of unreality with little permanence and high fluidity. The aboveground world of the elves before the Veil was made was a place where imagination defined reality. In contrast, Titans are unchanging, solid and constant, of a material world which has permanence - like stone and the symbolism applied to the element of earth. Templars consume the blood of Titans, lyrium, and this gives them the ability to reinforce reality. It’s not a stretch to infer that Titans themselves reinforce reality.

The Fade existed all over Thedas as Thedas is the continent that we know. What it was like in (or if it existed in the same way at all) and the effects the construction of the Veil may have had in countries and continents beyond Thedas is anyone’s guess. Can’t wait to find out more along those lines. (´∀`)ｂ In terms of a difference in humans and elves when it comes to the Fade, the lore reference that comes to mind is their differing experience in the Crossroads. Although not the Fade itself and technically beyond the Fade (while somehow also being a “place between” pockets in the Fade), in the Crossroads, elves see the colors as brighter and the trees are flowering, with rainbows glittering at the edges of their vision. They feel welcome there and move faster there compared to humans. Humans feel slower, stiff and awkward and feel discomfort from the weird light and noise. Since it’s the Crossroads, I’m not sure about the pre-Veil Fade making humans in their homelands (if it was there) feeling ambiently terrible, but I’m def on board with the idea that elves not being able to ‘form’ in the Voshai lands is a potential reason for why there were none on the ships to Laysh. I think that’s a fascinating prospect.

Some wonderings about the Executors here and here (warning, TN spoilers at links).

[msg refs this post]  <-- warning, TN spoilers at link

The Development of Farming in Middle-Earth

An agricultural revolution is driven by multiple factors. Time is one of them, as is location, as is necessity. Therefore I would argue that Valinor lacked a farming culture and that large swathes of farming technology were innovated later, in the First Age and beyond.

First let’s establish that the Calaquendi were not farmers. Tolkien’s own anti-tech sensibilities, the emphasis within the text on farming and forests, and the presence of powerful nature spirits who would make the need for fields and crops redundant all suggest a more garden/foraging based society. Since Yavanna, Ulmo, Oromë can create food (plants, animals) they could eliminate the pressures (overhunting, hunger) that led to the advent of grain agriculture in the real world. They would also have motive to stick with a more hunter-gather society, since mono-crop farming and animal rearing would contradict Yavanna’s pro-tree agenda and Oromë’s interest in preserving the wild. And although elves have a bread-culture this doesn’t necessarily mean that they cultivated wheat-- wild grains like millet and barley were used by hunter-gathers to create flatbreads. Lothlorien, which is mostly forested, and wild Doriath also created bread, meaning that the presence of bread isn’t a sure indicator of big farming. 

This doesn’t mean Valinorean elves wouldn’t understand animal domestication and plant cultivation; just that they wouldn’t need to engage in these activities on a wide scale. We know from the text that elves keep dogs and horses, but we don’t get a lot of insight into their cattle raising, for example (there are extant elvish words for bull, but most other cow related words are from Gnomish or other early language iterations). The presence of weaving suggests that they may have bred woolly sheep (there is a Quenya word for sheep) but shepherding and sheep flocks aren’t mentioned until descriptions of the early Hadorians. For people with the ability to learn animal-speech keeping free range sheep would be much more feasible than for humans, allowing for a more flexible “hands off until shearing time” sheep relationship. Out of respect for Oromë, hunting seems to have taken over animal husbandry as a major source of protein. 

(This also ties into a theory of mine that elves are largely lactose intolerant past childhood. Without herding it’s hard to develop those enzymes.)

The same is true of plants. Valinorean elves probably experimented with plant hybridization and modification, kept private gardens or orchards, and prided themselves on growing new varietals, but may not have kept large scale fields. What would be the need, when you can just throw some seed down on the grassland (at all times of the year no less- thanks lembas essay) and trust Yavanna to make it all work? When the woods are full of infinite food and you have the gods of sea creatures and land dwelling beasts on your side there isn’t the same food pressure that faced early humans in real life. Food is everywhere, all you need to do is nurture and collect it. 

Of course not all elves were in Valinor. Middle-Earth elves would have developed certain technologies much faster than their more sheltered peers. At the same time, the Green-Elves of Ossiriand are noted to resent “hewers of trees and hunters of beasts” so they definitely weren’t clearing fields left and right. In fact, let’s split the Moriquendi up into groups based on location, to get a better sense of their respective farming styles. 

In Doriath was Melian, who has the potential to fulfill a Yavanna-like role as a forest nurturer. Again, you have to put less effort in when there’s a goddess on your side. The elves of Doriath were noted woodmen and hunters, and their descendants in the Greenwood and Lothlorien seem to have favored similarly naturalist approaches. Forest gardening isn’t out of the question. However two facts stand out. One: Menegroth was underground. This means that they had the potential to develop fungiculture (possibly developed with the help of dwarves). Two: prior to Morgoth’s awakening the elves of Doriath were less isolationist and wandered far. This means that they may have done some light plant propagation, moving seeds around and planting trees in more advantageous places. Your basic early Neolithic revolution behavior. 

In Ossiriand were the Nandor, who again, valued their trees a lot. This means that they’re going to be less willing to clear land or practice field farming. They may have still engaged in forest gardening, like the people of Doriath, encouraging food plants to grow and cultivating oak trees, fruit orchards, edible vines and shrubs, mushrooms, wild herbs, and other forest friendly food. 

Near lake Mithrim were Sindar elves who first met the Noldor. These are the most likely candidates for early field farming tech, since they had both deforested flatland and access to water sources. They’re also the most likely to have begun growing wild grains like wheat, barley, and millet.

The Falathrim is where things get interesting. We know that they kept “pools” in addition to their beaches and that they were dear to Ossë, an ocean Maia. This suggest a seafood based diet and the potential for pesciculture. Ancient forms of fish farming often worked in tandem with the sea and spawning habits of fish. Trenches would would be dug meeting the ocean, roe would be captured, and juvenile fish raised in fresh water. The Falathrim may have kept artifical tidal pools as well as raised fry. They may have also engaged in seaweed farming. The same goes for the Teleri across the sea, though again living in Valinor means that there’s much less need to stress over food. On Tol Eressea, seaweed farming and sea fishing will have proliferated, giving way to city gardens as the island population grew. 

The Avari are the most open for interpretation. We don’t know what these mystery suitors were doing on the other side of the continent. The Avari are said to have been more primitive than the Noldor but let’s look at the source here-- we can’t trust a Noldor account to be honest. Context clues can help us make guesses, however. For example, humans showed up in the middle of the First Age with domestic sheep, horses, donkeys, and goats (thanks random detail about the Hadorians from HoME). That isn’t something you figure out in a few hundred years. Given that we know early humans interacted with the Avari it’s entirely possible that they learned animal husbandry from them as well. So the Avari may have kept these animals! At the same time it’s mentioned that the Beorians “had no beasts of burden” so whatever animal technology later humans picked up from the Avari it took them a while to master it. 

Other technologies the Avari may have possessed include fungiculture (for they were long without the sun and preferred dark places), forest farming, and maybe some floodplain farming since many stayed near the lake where they originated. 

Now once the Noldor Exiles hit Beleriand they would have had to shift their food production methods drastically. No longer surrounded by greater and lesser spirits they faced much a much more serious potential for famine. Furthermore, encounters with the Mithrim and Falathrim, and later the elves of Doriath and Ossiriand, will have introduced new principles of agriculture. The combination of Noldor GMO technology (nurtured in an open sandbox of innovation) plus more necessity based Beleriand techniques, likely paved the way for a new flourishing of agriculture. The regions many of Fingolfin and Feanor’s kin moved into-- flat lands and mountainous regions with less forest to worry about-- will have also helped develop a more robust farming culture. 

They’re still elves so they’re going to be more hesitant to mess with nature but with the rise of the Noldor we’re more likely to see irrigation, fertilizer, and professional farming. Wild grains will have slowly become more domesticated. It’s mentioned in HoME that corn (grains) originated in Aman, were brought to Middle-Earth, but didn’t do well and was mostly kept by adherents of Yavanna (including some in Doriath, who grew grains in limited amounts in sunlit glades). There’s a sense that the elves have a lot of plants but are still figuring out what to do with them. Things they can grow: wild grasses, grapes (they have wine!), sturdy fruits and veggies willing to resist Morgoth. 

Dwarves are hard to judge because we don’t get a ton of insight into their material culture. Sure they love mountains but where does their food come from? They like it but how? Where? Nevertheless, we can attribute to dwarves mountain terraces, fungiculture, and indoor agriculture using reflected sunlight. In fact, dwarves might have invented greenhouses, which would give them a foot over their peers in early post-Sunrise Middle Earth. The petty-dwarves cultivated some sort of root-vegetable so other dwarves likely did as well. They also probably made big strides in pony-breeding, goat rearing, and some other types of animal husbandry.

Finally, the humans arrive. Now the agricultural innovations of non-Beleriand humans are really hard to judge. We know that they were big farmers within a few thousand years though, which again suggests some Avari help. In the east irrigation and complex water retention would have developed most quickly. They probably also further developed grain farming (important for a fast reproducing population) and your basic river valley techniques (flood control, fertilizer, plant breeding) within a fairly short time frame. Again, the Avar and non-Atani humans really don’t get the credit they deserve for speed running civilization without divine interference. 

Onto the Beleriand humans who we do know about. The Haladin had independent homesteads by Haleth’s time, a practice that’s pretty hard to maintain (early agricultural was communal for a reason). The Hadorians had animal husbandry. The Beorians were quick to take to farming and willing to learn from elves. All of this suggests an adaptable, innovative farming culture which might be a little more garden focused than medieval Europe but was still plenty productive. 

After the fall of Beleriand we meet even more humans. In Numenor sheep were kept, for example, in addition to various crops. Corn of Aman origin were favored and the Numenoreans spread these more developed grains across the world, leading to better farming for all men.  Widespread field agriculture developed in Arnor and Gondor. Milk was drunk among herding cultures and farming cultures (both Rohan and Gondor were probably full of milk drinkers), making animal farming more profitable. Cows are widespread by the period of LoTR, as are chickens, goats, cheese, and plants like tomatoes and potatoes. Beekeeping is also present in the Shire, suggesting that beekeeping has developed over the past few millenia.

The Woses, a more woodland based group, favored forest farming and cave living. Other human groups followed their lead, remaining more forest based until Numenor came and ripped their forests up. Numenorean imperialism in general can be seen as a force for field based farming, destroying earlier forest models. And exception would be in the far East, where again, humans seem to have figured things out on their own. 

Later elven groups include Silvan and Sindar communities (more likely to favour forest living) and Noldor communities (more likely to have cities, gardens, and some fields though not on a human scale.) Very late elf enclaves like Rivendell may have combined rooftop gardening with forest cultivation. 

All this probably sounds like a load of nonsense so I’ve summed up the development of Middle Earth farming in a few easy notes. 

Who Invented What?

Planting seeds and then harvesting them was recognized by all elf groups, roughly simultaneously

Gardens were invented by the Amanyar, Teleri (all groups), and Avari, later spread everywhere

Food forests were invented by the Nandor and Sindar, later practiced by the Woses and other human groups as well as Silvan/Sindar elves

Grain farming was invented by the Mithrim and Amanyar then later perfected by the Easterlings and Numenoreans

Organic Fertilizer was invented by the Nandor and later preferred in human settlements

Mass fertilization and nitrogen fertilizer was invented by the Noldor exiles and sometimes used in Numenor 

Chemical fertilizers and pollution were invented by The Forces of Darkness

Greenhouses were invented by the dwarves and Exile Noldor, later used in parts of Arnor and Gondor

Irrigation was developed by the Mithrim then further developed by the Noldor and friends. It was also practiced by the Avari and Easterlings

Fungiculture was invented by the dwarves and Avari, then later shared with the Sindar

Pesciculture was invented by the Teleri (all groups)

Seaweed farming was invented by the Falathrim and elves of Tol Eressea

Terrace farming was invented by the dwarves and later practiced by elves and humans

Horse riding is just about universal

General animal husbandry was invented by the Amanyar and Avari, later embraced by all humans

Raising animals for meat was developed by the Avari and later passed on to humans

Raising animals for milk is entirely on humans

GMO plants were invented by the Amanyar, improved on by combined elves of Beleriand, and dabbled in by Numenoreans. Also the Avari and Easterlings probably had them to some extent but who knows because we don’t have enough info on them.

Changes

((Under a cut for length.))

The air in the meeting hall was tense and confused as the gathered volunteers murmured amongst themselves. The crowd was small this year; not as small as it had been in years prior, but it still left a lot to be desired. Hushed conversations echoed off the candlelit walls and diffused into the room as ambient whispers as the gathered Elves waited for Topaz and Ivy to enter. What was going on? The First of December had come and past more than a week ago...

Jubilee was among the crowd this year, just as she had been every year for over a century. She was joined by Anise and Melody as usual, but not by Harmony; she was too busy for Wish Duty, ever since she had signed on with the Tin Soldiers. It was a choice the whole family had resented at first, but over these past few years, she had proven herself capable and they had all come to terms with it. Still, it hadn’t felt quite right showing up for Wish Duty without her.

Of course, nothing about this year felt quite right, as the minutes ticked by and the Elders responsible for the raffle-- and this meeting-- still hadn’t appeared. Jubilee’s ears twitched as she rocked on her heels, casting anxious glances at her sisters. They returned hers with equally anxious glances of their own. She frowned, chewing at her lip, and faced forward again. A few more minutes crawled by at subsonic speed.

“If I leave, will you guys fill me in later?” Melody muttered. Anise half-heartedly swatted her arm with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Stop,” she chided. Mel stuck her tongue out at her like a child.

Finally, two ancient-looking Elves took the stage: a round-faced little man with sparkling eyes, wispy white hair, and deep smile lines-- Elder Topaz-- and a sharp-looking woman with horn-rimmed glasses, and steely grey hair done up in a bun-- Elder Ivy. The two shared a final glance with each other as the rest of the Elves went silent.

“Good evening, everyone,” Ivy began, her voice magically amplified, “and thank you all for coming out tonight. We’re sure you have a lot of questions regarding this year’s Wish Duty.”

There was a murmur of consensus throughout the crowd, and Jubilee’s ears twitched again in anticipation.

“Now, I know you’ve all been waiting too long already, but we’re going to have to ask you to hold those questions until we’ve finished.”

The crowd seemed less enthused about this.

“The thing is,” Topaz added, “Ivy an’ I have been talkin’, an’ we’ve decided to make a few changes to how things’re done. The first o’ which bein’-- now don’t lose yer heads when I say this-- the first o’ which bein’ that we’re doin’ away with the raffle.”

Despite his plea, there was a chorus of gasps and muttered words of disbelief. Ivy gave him a look.

“Yes, we’re doing away with the raffle. But Wish Duty is not going anywhere. We’ve decided to test out a new system this year.”

The crowd shifted, almost seeming to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

“See, volunteer numbers have been... up an’ down the last few years, an’ sometimes that means there’s only a few dozen raffle winners. Imagine, a few dozen out of the thousands o’ folks on the Nice List! So we got to thinkin’, why don’t we try an’ grant wishes for as many o’ them as possible? Instead of spendin’ the whole month with one person in one place, why not wander around an’ see how many people we can help?”

“So what we’ve done is put together an R&D team to create these.” As she spoke, Ivy produced a smooth, white stone, roughly the size and shape of a snowball. “I trust that many of you have seen the humans’ Christmas specials, yes? And the one in particular where The Boss keeps an eye on things with a magic snowball? This here is more or less the same concept. It was hewn from the depths of the Ice Caves and enchanted several times over, allowing us to check a person’s Naughty or Nice status in real time. We have one here for each of you, and if things go well this year, we’ll have even more in supply to meet future demand!”

Another chorus of gasps and murmurs swept through the crowd, this time very much awed and excited. Ivy shot Topaz a somewhat smug smile, which he returned with a genuine grin.

“That’s why this year’s announcement took so long; we needed to make sure there were enough o’ these to go around!” he chuckled. “Can’t very well send ye out with no way o’ knowin’ what’s what!”

“Indeed, we can’t have you out there under prepared. Which brings me to our next point: this should probably go without saying, but don’t forget to travel with a glamour up. Even with the Snowballs, accidents and misunderstandings can still happen. Use your best judgement.”

The crowd sobered a little, and there were some murmurs of agreement.

“Good. Now we will open the floor to questions.”

A dozen hands shot up, Jubilee’s included. Topaz pointed to a squat, stocky Elf near the front. “Yes, Flint?”

“So... we can go anywhere? Just pick a point on the map and start from there?”

“Well... yes. That’s pretty much what we’re sayin’. Places ye’ve been, places ye haven’t been-- just don’t everybody bunch up in the same places. I don’t wanna hear that all o’ ye wound up in New York City or the Bahamas. In fact, it may be best if no one stays in the same place for too long.”

A few hands went down.

“Next question,” Ivy called. “How about... Lingonberry.”

A doe-eyed Elf beside Anise asked, “Um... are we allowed to visit people we’ve granted wishes for before? That is, um.... if maybe we know they could still use the help...?”

“I don’t see why not. Although, I would still suggest that priority goes to somebody new. It’s fine if you want to visit and catch up, and help out where you know help is needed, but if you linger too long, that sort of defeats the purpose of the new model.”

A few more hands went down.

“Yes, Briar?” Ivy said, gesturing to a lanky Elf with glasses.

“How exactly do the Snowballs work?”

“I’m glad you asked. We were actually going show you after questions. That is... if that’s all of them?”

All the other hands went down, Jubilee’s included.

“Splendid! That’s just lovely!” Topaz said with a wiggle, rubbing his hands together.

Ivy motioned to someone backstage, and a cart full of Snowballs was wheeled out. “If you’ll all line up stage left, we’ll pass these out and show you how to attune them.”

None of the volunteers needed to be told twice, and with a bit of fumbling and disorganization, eventually managed to form a line along the wall. Like many of the Eves around them, the three sisters were all grinning from ear to ear.

“Har’s going to be so jealous! First place I’m headed is Brazil, then maybe Hawai’i, Costa Rica-- oh! Christmas Island! How funny would it be to spend Christmas on sunny Christmas Island?” Melody tittered, earning another-- albeit more playful-- swat from Anise.

“Maybe she’ll finally take time off and come back to Wish Duty next year,” Anise laughed. “Especially if you bring her a souvenir.”

“I’ll send her a postcard from everywhere I go,” she replied wickedly.

Jubilee laughed at the both of them and rolled her eyes. “What about you, An? Anywhere jumping out at you immediately?”

“Yeah, anywhere special you want to take Lingonberry?” Mel chimed in. Anise flushed bright pink.

“Hush! She’s right there, you know,” she protested, gesturing a couple spots ahead of them. “Just because you’re excited is no reason to be a brat.”

“Why not? I bet Jubi’s off to that Wasteland place to see Copernicus!”

“Hey!”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“...Probably, at some point,” Jubilee begrudgingly admitted. Melody crossed her arms in satisfaction. “Not immediately, though. I was thinking I might go someplace new first.”

“Like where?” Anise pressed.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just close my eyes and point to a place at random.”

“That could be fun. I was thinking maybe Finland or Canada; someplace that’s still close enough to the Arctic Circle that it’s mostly dark, that way even as it gets closer to the new moon, I’ll still have a bit of extra power left.”

“Oh, good thinking!”

“You sure you don’t want to go to Paris? It is for lovers, you know,” Mel teased.

“I swear, if you don’t cut it out I’m going to dunk you like a cookie.” This earned Anise a few giggles from the both of them.

As they chatted away, the line grew shorter and shorter, and they came closer and closer to the stage. Jubilee watched Topaz and Ivy walk her sisters through the attunement, practically wiggling with excitement as she waited for her turn. The process went quickly, and soon she was standing in front of Topaz, her new Snowball in her hand.

“Now, what yer goin’ to want to do, Jubilee, is hold it in both hands. It’s dead simple, really; just let your magic flow from one hand, through the Snowball, an’ into the other. Once it glows with yer colour, that’s it! You’ll be able to activate it just by holding it up an’ thinkin’ about the person in question.”

She did as he instructed, and found he was right; it was dead simple. It only took a moment for the Snowball to glow her signature light blue.

“That’s it! Wonderful! Now go on an’ head out; there’s only fifteen days left until Christmas, y’know!”

“Will do! Thanks!” she called over her shoulder as she went to join her sisters. Just as she got there, Melody vanished ins a swirl of violet sparks. Before she could ask, Anise explained,

“I told her that you guys can go on ahead. I’ll let everyone else know what’s up.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! Besides, I do want to talk to Lingon and see about meeting up once or twice.”

“Right, gotcha,” Jubi laughed. “Tell everyone I said bye, then.”

“Will do.”

And with that, Jubilee did as she said she was going to. She closed her eyes, pointed to a spot on the map that hung on the wall, and that was where she headed.

Nerves

After a close call on her first run in Seattle, Scratch has second thoughts about her new crew. She decides to take it up with the fixer who made the introductions…

An Orichalcum and Silicon short story by BrossUno

——

Scratch still had a headache as she rode the elevator to the 30th floor of a bustling skyscraper. She had woken up before the sun had made it over the horizon. It was miserably early and it made her more irritated than usual. Thankfully she didn’t have any jobs lined up right that moment. She found it hard to work when she was a hair trigger from snapping at someone. 

Her early morning excursion only left her just enough time to wash the stink of the Seattle underground out of her hair from last night’s run. She hastily put on the only business suit she owned and covered her face with a medical mask and sunglasses. The corp look didn’t help her mood at all. The skirt made it especially awkward to pull anything out of the smuggling compartment nestled in her left cyberleg. Unfortunately the contact she wanted to meet didn’t hang out in places where street clothes could get you past the front door. 

Routinely they were areas where the cops showed up in a few minutes and security could be trusted to do their job. Much as Scratch didn’t like it, the chaos of last night’s festivities gave her the motivation to power through.

The details of what happened sloshed around in her skull to the point where she couldn’t make much sense of it if she tried. It had been a few weeks of running her automotive garage for less savory customers looking to ditch junkers or disappear hot cars. Establishing herself in Seattle had been more challenging than originally anticipated. Chip truth, she was looking forward to making real money. Her long term plans demanded it. Now she regretted being so hasty. A crew of five needed a driver. 

The job itself called for the acquisition of a package from an Evo facility. She sure as hell couldn’t remember how it started out, but the ending had been a wreck from the minute they got their hands on the objective. The getaway took them on a grand tour of a drug den, subway tunnels with a ghost train, and a rooftop shootout with the Knight Errant and a fraggin’ Gargoyle. The order events felt scrambled in her mind but she knew things went downhill after a crash. A crash with a stolen truck.

The mere thought made Scratch take a detour to the nearest bathroom. She stood in front of the sink and made fists as she fought back tremors in her hands. After some cold water and some concentration she felt the sensation pass. She didn’t have time to look like she was fighting off dumpshock. She had a meeting to attend with the fixer who had set her up with the Evo job. Building security made sure she didn’t have the luxury of bringing her drones or much weaponry. The only form of defense she had on her was an Ingram Smartgun X she learned to hide in her leg for emergencies. She hadn’t had to make use of it yet, but last night had been full of unwelcome surprises.

The meet up was a fancy restaurant known as The Perennial. Scratch had never heard of it before but she didn’t run in these circles. The place mostly serviced wageslaves and anyone chained to the corporate life. Her contact had always found the nicest places for a conversation even in the shadiest parts of town. When she made it to the entrance the balding head waiter that greeted her had his nose turned up to the ceiling. He seemed to make note of her cyberleg but didn’t give her any trouble when she mentioned the party she belonged to.

“Party of Rosselott,” Scratch said.

“Right this way, madam.”

Scratch was always thankful for a mask. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and scoff as she followed the head waiter inside. He didn’t see any of that behind her sunglasses. The Perennial leaned on fake plants and flowers to imply a lush atmosphere. There were more people around than she expected for breakfast hours. A lot of drones in suits and oozing self-importance. One ork busied himself with AR screens. A table of four looked to be double tasking while eating and holding a business meeting at the same time. No one looked like trouble from first glance. She doubted any of them even noticed her enter the room. Sometimes she found it amazing how easy it was to disappear into a crowd of suits. That wasn’t an excuse to drop her guard though. She wasn’t expecting trouble but old memories from a life out east wouldn’t let her relax.

The head waiter brought her to a table in the corner up against a window overlooking downtown. It was a secluded space with fake hedges acting as a barrier between tables. They wouldn’t stop any bullets but it would be enough to keep prying eyes away for a little while. A single elf sat at the table. Scratch only knew her as Rosselott. 

The name didn’t really go with the face but that was the nature of the business. Rosselott had signs of old age and still looked impossibly good, which made Scratch feel she was probably ancient by elf standards. They never had a meeting where she wasn’t wearing a crisp business suit and nursing a cigarette or cigar. She had jet black hair and emerald eyes that felt armor piercing. The safe bet is she had been wrapped up in the corp life longer than Scratch had been alive. The way she supplemented her words with constant hand motions gave off the impression she had done boardroom meetings for a few decades at least.

Despite the clean exterior and expensive taste, word on the street had made it clear Rosselott was a fixer with connections. All the rumors pointed to the idea she liked to collect old things. And it went double for classic automobiles. Scratch felt it was a stroke of luck meeting someone like her over a single night of stealing cars for a bartender troll named Lefty. As a relative newcomer to Seattle she couldn’t afford to pass up the connections on offer. Or that’s how she felt at first. After last night she wasn’t so sure anymore.

Rosselott looked up and gave a thin smile through a trail of smoke escaping her cigarette. That was enough to satisfy the head waiter as he excused himself. Scratch took a seat at the table and made sure she could reach the thigh of her cyberleg where her Ingram was hidden. A matter of precaution.

“Ah, you made it. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble finding the place. They opened a few weeks ago. I hear they serve real eggs here.”

“I’d prefer if I didn’t have to dress up every time we have a conversation.” Scratch grumbled.

Rosselott gave a sardonic smile. “But I love when people are presentable. Besides, it’s not unusual for two strangers to talk business over breakfast in a place like this. Especially if you look the part.”

“You could have just called instead of having me come down here before the sun was up.”

The idea of talking over comms only got a finger wag from Rosselott. “You should know by now that I prefer a good face to face. And let us not forget, you were the one who wanted to meet right away.”

“I want another crew,” Scratch said without wasting time.

The request bounced off Rosselott without leaving a dent. She turned her attention to the menu. Scratch had been too focused to notice the tablet in front of her. Chip truth, she couldn’t afford most of the menu even if it sounded good. And she definitely didn’t want to be in Rosselott’s debt over some fancy dining. This meeting was strictly business.

“You don’t want to chat over a nice meal?” Rosselott asked.

Scratch leaned forward to emphasize the point. “I didn’t come here for a seven course meal. I need another crew.”

Rosselott put down the menu and folded her hands together. Her cigarette perched between her fingers.

“And what? You think I whisk them out of the air? Like magic? I already introduced you to a team. A rather sizable one. During your last job.”

“That job was a shitshow.”

“What a shame. At the very least I hear that things went well enough for you to get paid.”

“Not enough for the trouble.”

Rosselott shrugged.

“Perhaps you should brush up on your negotiating skills? I just make the introductions and arrange that things are… taken care of.”

“Then ‘introduce’ me to another crew.”

Scratch didn’t realize she had raised her voice until Rosselott lost her smile. Slowly she sat back in her chair and looked around. They were too secluded to attract attention even if someone had heard the commotion. Rosselott took a long drag on her cigarette and ejected the smoke out of her nose. The one other time Scratch had seen her do that, it didn’t mean good things. She tried not to look away with Rosselott’s eyes bearing down on her.

“If I recall correctly, and my memory is very good, the deal went like this: You were looking for a team who need a driver and a drone rigger. A way to establish yourself in Seattle, as you put it. I knew of a job someone needed taken care of that suit both our purposes. I came through for you, and you came through for me. A prime example of any good business relationship. You’re still alive, so I trust the team had some amount of skill?”

The crew wasn’t exactly what Scratch had in mind. Even from her time doing work for the mafia it was a motley crew to say the least. During the Evo run they had an ork the size of a fridge known as Merc who preferred to take his targets apart up close and personal. They had a cat burglar, Bast, who had embraced the namesake whole cloth with body mods and everything. Scratch had never seen someone move so fast. Even with a head start she passed her up on the stairs to the roof. They had two elves. Mantis, despite the glowing personality and the multicolored tattoo, had little trouble frying a Knights Errant with magic. The other elf went by Oz and preferred to do his work in the Matrix. Some ganger in the drug den had his magazine ejected from his gun in midfight. Deckers always made Scratch nervous.

The last runner caught her by surprise. The triggerman of their little group went by the name of Hollowpoint. She recognized him right away as the private detective named Seth Barber living in the cramped attic of her garage. The coat and the tired eyes were a dead giveaway. Naturally he wasn’t all that surprised to meet on a run. He had probably figured her out the second they met to talk terms for their current arrangement. But she didn’t figure he was such a dead eye when it came to shooting. 

Hollowpoint was an anomaly. Scratch figured if you were good enough to shoot the gun out of the hands of a surprised thug, you’d be good enough to shoot them in the head and be done with it. But she wasn’t going to scoff at someone who could clip a Gargoyle’s wing at night when it’s darting around in the air. Two crack shots meant it was more than dumb luck.

“Am I wrong?” Rosselott asked with a smarmy grin.

Scratch hesitated.

“I’m not working with them again.” She declared. “They’re… they’re bad luck.”

Rosselott laughed. Scratch had never seen her laugh before. It struck her motionless as she waited for her contact to regain her composure.

“Bad luck.” Rosselott repeated even more amused than before. “Oh whatever could have happened that night? What kind of problems did you run into, Miss Sheckler? Or maybe you were the problem? Maybe you hit a bump in the road somewhere? Left you shaken.”

Their corner of the restaurant felt hot. A sense of dread began to well up in Scratch’s stomach as her fledgling Seattle reputation felt at risk. She regretted coming. She regretted pushing her luck with Rosselott. The moment she came to town, she knew the only thing that would bring in work was an ironclad reputation. 

The last thing she needed was word getting out that she couldn’t drive for shit. It would be a nightmare if the only thing associated with her name was totalling a truck that should have danced on the tips of her fingers. But she couldn’t even remember what happened to defend herself. Was she jacked in? Did the dumpshock fry her memory on impact? It hadn’t been the first time she had been in a wreck that felt beyond her control. She made fists under the table as bad memories came to the surface.

“I shouldn’t have to remind you, but my interest is in people who can get things done. The other details are your concern. And if you can’t play nicely with others, then what good are you to anyone? Unless you fashion yourself as a one man army? Those are so rare these days.”

Scratch was thankful for the mask. She would have been glaring daggers at Rosselott and she knew that wasn’t the right move. Much as she didn’t like it in her current state of mind, she got the point. All she had to do is keep it professional. Get the job done. Somewhere in the wreck last night she had lost sight of it.

“Maybe I made a mistake recommending you. Maybe that stellar work that got my attention was beginner’s luck. What do you think?”

Scratch felt her confidence return. “It wasn’t luck. You know what I can do. The only one who brought you that car you love so much is sitting right across from you.”

Things got quiet at the table. Scratch tried to relax. Rosselott looked her over and finished off her cigarette.

“You know what I think?” Rosselott asked. “I think it’s just nerves. This was your first run after all. It’s a very different line of work compared to… what you’ve done in the past.”

“How do you know that?” Scratch crossed her arms.

“I don’t pick people off the street and hand them a gun. I like to do my homework.”

The smile on Rosselott’s face wasn’t very comforting but Scratch wasn’t surprised. Background checks sounded like the standard arsenal of someone who did time working for a corp. She just hoped it didn’t go too deep.

“I’m not some mobster on the corner, either. You have a lot of potential. But you also have to keep the long game in mind. Things work differently out here. I hope you understand that.”

Scratch took a deep breath. “Yeah. I understand.”

Rosselott clapped her hands. “Good. So if we’re finished here, I can’t introduce you to another team. Because I don’t have one for you. But the moment I hear something that needs your personal touch, we’ll talk.”

At the bare minimum Scratch was hoping for another job. The Evo run wasn’t the payday she was hoping for. Not to mention she didn’t have the luxury waiting around for something to happen. It might as well have been acid on her ears.

“How long will that be?” Scratch asked.

“Tisk tisk. So impatient.” The accompanying shrug made it clear Rosselott was indifferent to the issue. “You have all these new friends with problems of their own. I’m not the only one in town that needs a few things taken care of. Who knows? Maybe it will bring us new opportunities in the future? I’m sure you can occupy yourself until then.”

The end of their conversation came with a fake, business-like smile from Rosselott that must have disarmed thousands of arguments in the past. Scratch gave a nod and stood to leave. On the way out, she tried to ignore the smell of food coming from the kitchen. Real food. She had a long list of things to take care of before that ever made it onto her budget. At the very top she remembered the stolen van from last night. She had to get rid of it. Nothing could trace back to her. Things were safer that way. 

Upon reaching the street level she walked a few blocks to find her black Americar parked nearby. She didn’t want to pay for parking or mess with valets. When she got back to the garage it was still early in the morning. Among the tools and workbenches the stolen van awaited. A GMC Bulldog. Oz said he gave it a clean slate on the Matrix side, but she didn’t want to take any chances.

Scratch traded out her business suit and medical mask for a jumpsuit and a welding mask. She started taking the van apart piece by piece. The others couldn’t drive for shit anyway so she didn’t leave it up for debate. Some of it would work well for spare parts. Especially since she had a Bulldog of her own. She had a feeling she’d be getting a lot of use out of it with their six person crew. The idea of playing taxi pissed her off so she hoped the others didn’t expect her to run them down to the store to pick up soymilk.

A couple of hours passed. The stolen bulldog had been reduced to a skeleton frame. That’s when Scratch finally heard knocking coming from the side entrance. Sometimes customers used that door when they didn’t want to be seen. She still had her Ingram hidden in her cyberleg so she cracked the door open. Seth Barber or Hollowpoint or whatever his name was stood outside. It was almost noon and he looked as tired as ever. They didn’t interact much as tenant and landlord. Seth Barber the private detective kept things guarded and didn’t bring people around. He had soyfood groceries delivered and sometimes smoked on the roof. 

Really Scratch couldn’t have asked for a more perfect arrangement. They stayed out of each other’s way and that worked just fine. But now things were different. Now she knew he was a crack shot and carried a small armory hidden under the unfashionable coat. She opened the door and they looked at each other for a brief moment.

“Hey.” Hollowpoint greeted.

Scratch said nothing. She waited for him to get on with it.

“Uh, there’s a special going on right now where if you refer someone to my food delivery app you get some credit on your account-”

This same man had sniped a Gargoyle out of the air at night with an assault rifle. It stuck in the back of her mind.

“-and I was thinking, maybe I could refer you and then we use the coupon to get something to eat, split the delivery charge?”

Scratch closed the door without a second thought. She had work to do.

Kandomere x Reader - Notice Me

lucacangettathisass replied to your post “Got any requests?”

Could I please request a kandomere x human reader one shot where the reader is completely oblivious to kandomere's feelings even though he flirts with them a lot, subtly and unsubtly, and it is Hell Someone Free Him From This Torture Montehugh Stop Laughing

This is a continuation of all my other Kandomere ‘fics where the character is a jeweler. I use ‘I’ and first-person perspective because I think it flows better as a self-insert.  This story is also known as ‘We Learn the Author Doesn’t Know How to Flirt’

My flagship store had been open and thriving for several months before Kandomere graced us with his presence. It was a Monday, April 21st and sunny out. Funny how your memory works when something important happens. I could hear my ovaries popping in my ears when he walked in, a leather jewelry box in his hand. All my male attracted staff stopped to catch a glimpse. We’d had plenty of attractive people come in before, being in the heart of Elftown and the best jeweler in the city (Seriously, there was a poll), but his aura enhanced it. He was mysterious and powerful.

I had a feeling about him, that he was important; that he is in general and would be to me. Love at first sight, maybe? The instant he stepped in, his moonlight eyes were on me. Was the feeling mutual?

“Hi!” I greeted him, “Is there anything I can help you with?” I was thanking every deity listening that I didn’t stumble on my words.

Kandomere walked up the counter, “Yes, I would like this to be restored.” He opened the jewelry box and a silver gorget laid inside on a bed of velvet lining. It was scratched and beaten to hell.

I leaned over the cool glass counter to examine it and carefully removed it.

“May I ask what happened?”

“Let’s just say, an occupational hazard. Will you be able to save it?” Kandomere asked, a bit of worry in his voice.

I examined it further, “It’s definitely in bad shape. Scratched, warped. Did someone run over it with a car?”

Kandomere said nothing, but his look said, ‘It’s a long story.’

“These scratches are deep around the engraving, I’d have to completely redo the bottom text, but yes, it’s salvageable. I’d say it’ll take a week, week and a half and probably around $150 ish.” I grabbed some forms from under the counter. “If you’ll fill these out, I’ll get right to work on it. Pretty simple stuff, your contact info, mostly.”

Kandomere nodded as he filled out the forms.

“Just so I know what I’m working on, I need to know how old it is and if it’s magical or not. The last time someone on my staff or I didn’t ask before we started work on restoring a piece, Brandi ended up breathing fire for a week and it was a complete disaster.”

“That’s how I met my fiancé, the firefighter,” Brandi chimed in from the back.

“That’s awesome and all, but how about you get around to updating those forms she’s talking about before, I don’t know, someone summons Bigfoot for a commitment ceremony just because they looked at a toe ring wrong.” Matt jeered at Brandi.

Kandomere gave a light chuckle, “I can assure you, it’s rather plain for elven ware. No curses or embedded magic. It was my father’s, I’d say it’s at least fifty, sixty years old.”

I nodded as he spoke. I wrote up his ticket, gave it to him and replaced the gorget back in the jewelry box.

“I greatly appreciate you taking this on, I can’t see how it’ll be an easy project.” He said as he shook my hand.

His hands were the perfect combination of softness and strength, the hands of someone who was not afraid to work but also took care of himself.

I smiled, becoming infatuated with this man, “It’s not a problem at all. I look forward to the challenge.”

As soon as he was gone, the story erupted into woof whistles and giggles.

“Oh. My. God. He was gorgeous!” Violet squealed, kicking her feet in her chair.

“He could cast an elven spell on me any day.” Matt whistled.

“He’s single! I didn’t see a ring! Did you see a ring? Because I didn’t see a ring!” Avery exclaimed.

“Chill out guys, we’ve had legit celebrities come in here and no one freaked out this bad,” I said, trying to calm everyone down.

“None were as hot as him.” Matt countered, plainly.

“Okay, okay, whatever. Just get back to work. We’re a place of business, not a middle school cafeteria.” I sighed but still found humor in the situation.

I started work on the gorget that day. I used my phone to translate the text. ‘Elves above all. Above all elves.’

That left a bad taste in my mouth. He was one of those elves. Why was he so nice to me? Did he even know what it said? Was he playing a trick on me, hoping I’d screw it up so he could leave a bad review proclaiming the humans were indeed idiots?

While it made me uncomfortable, it gave me the incentive to do my absolute best. I blew up the image to capture every dip and swirl of the ancient language. The text would have to be the last part I worked on, but curiosity got the better of me. I had to at least reshape it first.

It wasn’t long until Kandomere was back, three days to be exact.

“Oh, hello!” I said, “Did you want an update on your gorget?”

“No,” Kandomere said, “I was interested in a custom piece. A brooch, to be specific.”

I loved custom pieces. They allowed me to be creative and to surprise my clients. I looked forward to a lot of those projects each day, but as long I was working with jewelry, making it or repairing it, I was happy.

I smiled, “Follow me back and we’ll get something sketched out for you.”

“Did you have any design ideas or references?” I asked as we sat down in my office, my pencil and paper ready to sketch.

Kandomere looked momentarily thrown off, as though he was completely surprised I asked such a question. Later, I would learn that this trip to my store was just to see me and he hadn’t prepared that far in advance.

“Filigree.”

I’d also learn that he only blurted out the first word that came to his mind. He was lucky it was appropriate.

I started sketching the whimsical pattern. “I’d recommend a single gemstone in the center, probably an amethyst or sapphire. Your coloring leans into the darker jewel tones as for complementary colors.”

Why did I say that? Elves had known their complimentary color pallet since they knew what colors were.

I passed him the rough sketch, “What do you think?”

Kandomere looked it over, “Perfect. I’d be honored to wear it.”

I beamed at the compliment, “Great! I can have it done sometime in the week after next for $250.”

He nodded in agreement.

“I’m sorry if this is personal, or makes things awkward, but I translated the text…” I had to say something, it had been needling me for days.

Kandomere knew exactly what I was getting at, “It is a harmful and outdated sentiment which I do not believe in, but the gorget was my father’s and I can’t bear to part with it. Maybe one day I’ll be able to lose it in a drawer somewhere, but that hasn’t happened yet.”

“I’m sorry for your loss. He must have met a lot to you.”

Kandomere nodded and changed the subject, “Nevertheless, I am eager to see your work.”

“And I thank you for your patronage! Your gorget will be done next Friday. It’s already looking sooo much better.” I said as we left my office. No paperwork today, we already had his info from last time.

“I have nothing to worry about when it’s in your skilled hands.” With one final look at me, he was out the door, into the bright sunlight.

It wasn’t until that night I wondered if he really was flirting with me. My skilled hands? Did he mean that double entendre? Was I reading too much into this? I sighed and turned on a podcast, burying my thoughts in refining gemstones.

As Friday rolled around, I was excited for him to see the gorget once it was completed. Every time I heard someone come in, I looked up, hoping it was him.

Around noon, it was finally him. “Kandomere! Hi, I have it right here!”

I kept the gorget in its box close to me. His moonlight eyes widened when he saw it. Momentarily, he seemed speechless.

“It is magnificent. The level of artistry is exceptional. It looks better than new.”

“I’m happy I could restore it for you.”

“I can’t thank you enough, honestly.”

“It’s my job, no need!”

Kandomere paid with his card and returned to work. Once he was gone, everyone flocked to me.

“He likes you.” Brandi grinned.

“He was totally flirting with you.” Avery giggled.

“Ask him out!” Violet implored.

“CALL HIM!” Matt urged.

“If you don’t, I will,” Fabian warned.

I scoffed, “You all are crazy. If that was flirting, then that mom of two from this morning was flirting also. And I’m not saying that because I don’t feel pretty or anything, I just genuinely don’t believe he was flirting. Also, isn’t incredibly unprofessional?”

No one had strong rebuttals and lost interest, returning to their work.

That night I curled up in bed and unlocked my phone. I had a few notifications from my business accounts. My store’s Instagram and Facebook had been liked from the same account. Kandomere had followed my accounts. Out of curiosity, I snooped on his profiles. His Instagram was blank, leading me to believe that he had just created to follow me. His Facebook was locked up pretty tight with privacy controls, but I did get a look at his selfie profile pic.

A schoolgirl crush bloomed in my heart. Maybe the handsome and mysterious elf did like me. I feel asleep with my phone clutched to my chest and smile on my face.

Kandomere returned a few days later to pick up his brooch. With him was someone who I could only guess was Hagrid’s American cousin.

I was just as excited for Kandomere to see his brooch. I felt I kept it simple while still retaining the signature elf whimsy. I was pretty proud of it.

“Hi! Are you excited to see your brooch?” I asked.

“I could never grow tired of the wonders you create,” Kandomere answered.

I awed internally. How sweet! Okay, that was probably a flirt.

I pulled out its box with my logo on the top and presented it to him.

A satisfied smile appeared on his face. “You have amazed me once again. How do you do it?”

It was a rhetorical question, but I still answered. “Hard work and some talent, mostly!”

“Is that what I think it is?” American Hagrid asked in disbelief.

Fabian was working on a leather wrist cuff that was signature to a famous musician. I loved the band myself and they were in town for a show. They were performing at a small and intimate venue instead of a large arena show. I wanted to get tickets, but they sold so quickly, all I could get was one seat. I didn’t want to go by myself, so I decided to be more vigilant about when the tickets would go on sale if they came back.

“Indeed, it is my friend,” Fabian replied, pride in his voice.

“I’m still amazed when people like him come in,” I said, “I’ve listened to him since I was a teenager.” The musician was so famous, no one had to say his name.

“He likes that band too.” American Hagrid said, nudging Kandomere.

“Whaddya know so does she,” Fabian goaded, nodding towards me.

“Would you like to accompany me to their show?” Kandomere asked, bit embarrassed by everyone’s comments, but still found humor in it.

“Yeah! If I can get tickets, that is.” I said, not thinking.

Kandomere and everyone I worked with looked at me expectantly.

“Jesus, this is painful,” his friend said, his face buried in his hand and gruff laugh.

“Oh, shit, you’re asking me on a date,” I said, nearly dropping a box of findings in shock. “Wait, are you really?”

Me? I was human. I didn’t have perfect, effortless looks or supernatural powers. I worked for everything I had. Elves just had things handed to them. Let’s be real, my brand was so popular largely because I was exploiting elves’ love of useless, shiny things. It was only a plus to them that I was actually good at what I did.

Kandomere grinned and nodded, “Yes, I am.”

I giggled and nodded, “Yes, I do!”

That was the first of many ‘yeses’ in our relationship.

HISTORY OF GALADRIEL AND CELEBORN AS INTERPRETED BY ME GOGOL

I’m skipping all the alternate versions of her early life in Aman because I can make no jokes finer than those made in this fic.

The Dwarves of Belegost were filled with dismay at the calamity and fear for its outcome, and this hastened their departure eastwards to Khazad-dûm.

Hey so Celeborn and Galadriel stopping by like, <100 years afterward must have been horrifying huh

She looked upon the Dwarves also with the eye of a commander, seeing in them the finest warriors to pit against the Orcs. [...] Galadriel and Celeborn had in their company a Noldorin craftsman named Celebrimbor. Celebrimbor had "an almost 'dwarvish' obsession with crafts"; and he soon became the chief artificer of Eregion, entering into a close relationship with the Dwarves of Khazad-dûm, among whom his greatest friend was Narvi.

I like the workable ‘implication’ that Galadriel encouraged Celebrimbor’s dwarvish outreach stuff for strategic reasons---I mean, he probably didn’t need that much encouragement, but “enabled,” let’s say; I imagine he frustratingly turned around and parroted her own all-Arda-is-marred logic to her when it came to welcoming Sauron, like, you told me my duty was collaboration as strength, coz!

When he felt himself to be secure he sent emissaries to Eriador, and finally, in about the year 1200 of the Second Age, came himself, wearing the fairest form that he could contrive.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. He sent emissaries... from Mordor? He came himself... as an emissary from Mordor?

I know it doesn’t state that outright, but it also seems like the simplest way to read this part. I feel like this is probably mentioned in every Celebrimbor/Sauron fic and I just glossed over it, but listen. He came as an emissary from Mordor???? “Hi, I’m Annatar, Lord of Gifts, and I’ve been doing some great work out East---”

But in the meantime the power of Galadriel and Celeborn had grown, and Galadriel, assisted in this by her friendship with the Dwarves of Moria, had come into contact with the Nandorin realm of Lórinand on the other side of the Misty Mountains. [...] It is not made clear when this movement [of the Sindar] into Lórinand took place; it may be that they came from Eregion by way of Khazad-dûm and under the auspices of Galadriel. Galadriel, striving to counteract the machinations of Sauron, was successful in Lórinand; while in Lindon Gil-galad shut out Sauron's emissaries and even Sauron himself [as is more fully reported in Of Rings of Power (The Silmarillion p. 287)]. But Sauron had better fortune with the Noldor of Eregion and especially with Celebrimbor, who desired in his heart to rival the skill and fame of Fëanor.

In Eregion Sauron posed as an emissary of the Valar, sent by them to Middle-earth ("thus anticipating the Istari") or ordered by them to remain there to give aid to the Elves.

Again: shut out emissaries FROM MORDOR??? Is that... is that right? But, okay, in Eregion posed as an emissary of the Valar---that could mean he changed the story entirely and dropped whatever persona he was using w/ Gil-Galad and Elrond, except... all the language in “Of the Rings of Power” suggests that Gil-Galad and Elrond rejected the Annatar identity. Okay. More compatible would be, he came to Gil-Galad as supposedly a direct representative of (or as the king of??) Mordor, and then he went to Celebrimbor and said, no one else knows this, but I’m actually a god. Celebrimbor: ohhhhhh THUS the heat haze

...

That’s so fucking crazy. That’s wild. What the fuck. I’m going to be really sad if someone points out a reason this interpretation is obviously untenable. I mean I also really like all the fic with Sauron two-timing it as Annatar Lord of Gifts and Tar-Mairon Ferocious God-King or whatever, switching hairpieces in a phonebooth, but PLEASE... I JUST... “yes, I’m king of all Mordor, and this is my diplomatic visit to you which will last for 200 years.” Ok that really makes no sense but maybe like, “I’ve been working behind the scenes in Mordor to pull together on-the-ground resistance against that mysterious evil force whose center you JUST cannot place? I’M COMFORTABLE NOW THAT IT’S STABLE AND SO I’VE COME AMONG YOU---” ... like .... what ....

He perceived at once that Galadriel would be his chief adversary and obstacle, and he endeavoured therefore to placate her, bearing her scorn with outward patience and courtesy. [No explanation is offered in this rapid outline of why Galadriel scorned Sauron, unless she saw through his disguise, or of why, if she did perceive his true nature, she permitted him to remain in Eregion.] Sauron used all his arts upon Celebrimbor and his fellow-smiths, who had formed a society or brotherhood, very powerful in Eregion, the Gwaith-i-Mírdain; but he worked in secret, unknown to Galadriel and Celeborn.

In secret? In secret. In secret? SORRY I KEEP HAVING THESE AHA MOMENTS ABOUT VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD PIECES OF INFORMATION it’s been awhile. But seriously how does that even---in secret as in he lived in Celebrimbor’s basement or in secret as in, whenever Celebrimbor tried to buttonhole him at a party where other people could see them, he turned into a cat and ran away? what, come on, tell me

My new theory about Galadriel btw is Celebrimbor just. Didn’t tell her it was a Maia. Like, “oh, no, he’s on a secret mission to heal Middle-earth, I can’t out him, that would deprive Galadriel of the chance to come around on her own.” Galadriel: sweating through her clothes every night but can’t figure out why

...but Celeborn would not enter the mansions of the Dwarves, and he remained behind in Eregion, disregarded by Celebrimbor. In Lórinand Galadriel took up rule, and defence against Sauron.

no um. I do actually love that Celeborn then presumably became Galadriel’s spy in Eregion while she battle-readied Lórinand from afar. ... ... ... How the fuck did Celebrimbor persuade Sauron to also disregard Celeborn? I have yet another theory but it pairs better with this next quote

Sauron himself departed from Eregion about the year 1500, after the Mírdain had begun the making of the Rings of Power. Now Celebrimbor was not corrupted in heart or faith, but had accepted Sauron as what he posed to be; and when at length he discovered the existence of the One Ring he revolted against Sauron, and went to Lórinand to take counsel once more with Galadriel. They should have destroyed all the Rings of Power at this time, "but they failed to find the strength." Galadriel counselled him that the Three Rings of the Elves should be hidden, never used, and dispersed, far from Eregion where Sauron believed them to be.

“revolted against Sauron” is different from “rejected Sauron.” Among other things, it sort of suggests he’d previously accepted Sauron as some kind of overlord. He’s described as taking control of Eregion for himself, together with the rest of the guild---but maybe he’d privately committed Eregion itself to Mordor’s service or aid, and that’s why Sauron was comfortable leaving to resume open rule of Mordor, with Celebrimbor supposedly in his pocket as future lieutenant/petty king? I... uh. idk I know this is a lot of extrapolation, but on the other hand, I like it because it helps me understand why Sauron might have taken such a light touch with, say, the Celeborn issue. Of course you can also explain that as “Celebrimbor wasn’t an idiot and Sauron had no way of pressuring him into it without basically outing himself as a creep” BUT LIKE ... IF THERE WAS ALREADY A COUP---hmm. Anyway, I’m just fond of Celebrimbor playing faith-and-trust chicken with Annatar even before he necessarily developed any suspicions of his identity: Annatar is asking a lot of him, so a lot he will give! But in a way that almost precludes Annatar challenging Celebrimbor’s “loyalties,” because distrust in the face of so much submission would be a sign of bad conscience.

God Celeborn must have made a crap spy, and also hated that job, worst job

I like that he doesn’t go with Celebrimbor to Lórinand either. I mean, to be fair, that would be a hell of a red flag to Sauron, but also I’m imagining Celebrimbor offering absent-mindedly and Celeborn like, “are you going through Khazad-dum???”

Celebrimbor: well... yes... they usually leave the door unlocked for me

Celeborn: FUCK YOU send my love to my wife

It was at that time that she received Nenya, the White Ring, from Celebrimbor, and by its power the realm of Lórinand was strengthened and made beautiful; but its power upon her was great also and unforeseen, for it increased her latent desire for the Sea and for return into the West, so that her joy in Middle-earth was diminished.

[ + from the footnotes: "the resemblance cannot be accidental. She had endeavoured to make Lórien a refuge and an island of peace and beauty, a memo­rial of ancient days, but was now filled with regret and misgiving, knowing that the golden dream was hastening to a grey awakening. It may be noted that Treebeard interpreted Lothlórien as 'Dream-flower.'"

+ Galadriel cannot have made use of the powers of Nenya until a much later time, after the loss of the Ruling Ring; but it must be admitted that the text does not at all suggest this (although she is said just above to have advised Celebrimbor that the Elven Rings should never be used).]

I’m counting this as support for my vague thing of “the Rings actively help revert the world to an earlier savepoint rather than just slowing decay, a la Dwarvish time magic rather than Elvish preservation stuff”; I love that it acts on Galadriel, too, to access this otherworldly young self to whom Middle-earth wasn’t even real. Also, god, I just love the feeling that Galadriel actually arrests her own development in a way she doesn’t have to, and like, it becomes a thing where Valinor is the only cure because she needs to reconnect with the reality of her fantasy/obsession, but it wasn’t---Valinor wasn’t necessarily the only endpoint of her time in Middle-earth, and it’s partly her very straightforward love of Middle-earth (for its own sake, as well as for the sake of power over it) that leads her into this situation of alienating herself from the world in order to heal it. I know this is Galadriel 101, okay, but listen. It’s a good time. I also like that what she may interpret as an overlong indulgence might instead have been a period of necessary dormancy, protective in the same way that like, the Siege of the Noldor was protective though still doomed. That separate obsession giving her grounds on which to reject the Ring, for example; I can imagine that 3000 years spent maturing more normally, without Nenya and without such a heavy burden of imposed regret, might have prepared her better for a bunch of stuff, but not for the Ring.

The scouts and vanguard of Sauron's host were already approaching when Celeborn made a sortie and drove them back; but though he was able to join his force to that of Elrond they could not return to Eregion, for Sauron's host was far greater than theirs, great enough both to hold them off and closely to invest Eregion.

I can’t believe the new relationship I came away from this reread caring about was “Celeborn and Celebrimbor.” Celebrimbor: overthrows you, ignores you for centuries, sends you out to fight his boyfriend for him in mix of trust and unwanted generosity (he trusts you to fight, and also to escape!), dies. Corpse shows up on a banner. He’s so patronizing

Then Celebrimbor was put to torment, and Sauron learned from him where the Seven were bestowed. This Celebrimbor revealed, because neither the Seven nor the Nine did he value as he valued the Three; the Seven and the Nine were made with Sauron's aid, whereas the Three were made by Celebrimbor alone, with a different power and purpose. [It is not actually said here that Sauron at this time took possession of the Seven Rings, though the implication seems clear that he did so. In Appendix A (III) to The Lord of the Rings it is said that there was a belief among the Dwarves of Durin's Folk that the Ring of Durin III, King of Khazad-dûm, was given to him by the Elven-smiths themselves, and nothing is said in the present text about the way in which the Seven Rings came into possession of the Dwarves.]

Urgh I have such a feeling about... Celebrimbor’s friendship with the Dwarves slowly deadened and crowded out by Sauron’s competing influence, while the outward form was maintained... maybe that’s an uncharitable reading of this. But like, that he was SO far gone by the time Sauron was done with him that all he cared about was dividing up his life into things Sauron had gotten into and things still untouched---the Seven and the Nine written off because Sauron already tainted them, so only the Three matter. Whereas when he gave away the Seven as gifts he must have thought of them as hallowed by that association, although the widening rift is still apparent, since at one point his first thought would presumably have been to work with the dwarves on any gift he made for them. ... Celebrimbor, bud.

Sauron withdrew the pursuit of Elrond and turned upon the Dwarves and the Elves of Lórinand, whom he drove back; but the Gates of Moria were shut, and he could not enter. Ever afterwards Moria had Sauron's hate, and all Orcs were commanded to harry Dwarves whenever they might.

Fun how this changed Celeborn’s opinions on dwarves 0% I guess. I know, I know, Moria and things, I LIKE that it didn’t make a dent but I ... feel... “sad”

[This was Vinyalondë of Tar-Aldarion, afterwards called Lond Daer; see Appendix D. p. 274.]

My boy!! My useless boy!

Eriador was cleared of the enemy, but lay largely in ruins.

:(

...but the Red Ring he kept, until he gave it to Círdan when he set out from Lindon in the days of the Last Alliance.

I don’t know why it’s so funny to me that Círdan kept Narya. The Red Ring. The Ring of Fire. “Of course it’ll be safe with him he’s a merman it cancels out”

In its concluding passage the narrative returns to Galadriel, telling that the sea-longing grew so strong in her that (though she deemed it her duty to remain in Middle-earth while Sauron was still unconquered) she determined to leave Lórinand and to dwell near the sea. She committed Lórinand to Amroth, and passing again through Moria with Celebrían she came to Imladris, seeking Celeborn. There (it seems) she found him, and there they dwelt together for a long time; and it was then that Elrond first saw Celebrían, and loved her, though he said nothing of it.

GOD I LOVE ...... ELROND/CELEBRIAN HAPPENING IN THE WAY BACK OF ALL THIS GALADRIEL DRAMA. Galadriel: WHEN will I be GRANTED permission to cross the sea, which I did not accept the first time, and also I cannot leave because Sauron is here, that rube. Celeborn: Should we talk to Celebrian about her new habit of dropping notes tied to rocks off the balcony when Elrond is walking by--- Galadriel: WHEN????

And be­fore Idril set sail she said to Eärendil her son: "The Elessar I leave with thee, for there are grievous hurts to Middle-earth which thou maybe shalt heal. But to none other shalt thou deliver it." And indeed at Sirion's Haven there were many hurts to heal both of Men and Elves, and of beasts that fled thither from the horror of the North; and while Eärendil dwelt there they were healed and prospered, and all things were for a while green and fair. But when Eärendil began his great voyages upon the Sea he wore the Elessar upon his breast, for amongst all his searchings the thought was always before him: that he might perhaps find Idril again; and his first memory of Middle-earth was the green stone above her breast, as she sang above his cradle while Gondolin was still in flower. So it was that the Elessar passed away, when Eärendil returned no more to Middle-earth.

I Luv Earendil And Idril, also, do you think Earendil and Elwing used to play, like ... “stack the magic rocks.” “balance your apple-sized Silmaril on my walnut-sized Elessar in order to impregnate it with holy radiance!” “ok” “now we’ll shine the Silmaril---through the Elessar’s lens---onto crops! because otherwise it burns the crops because it registers nutrients imbibed from the tainted land as evil!” “mmhmm”

And Olórin said: "This I bring to you from Yavanna. Use it as you may, and for a while you shall make the land of your dwelling the fairest place in Middle-earth. But it is not for you to possess. You shall hand it on when the time comes.”

man I’m simultaneously so married to Celebrimbor-made-Elessar-part-two AND fascinated by the huge gap between “to none other shalt thou deliver it” and ............... “This I bring to you from Yavanna.” lmao. Plus the contrast between Idril giving it to Earendil NOT to pass on and Gandalf to Galadriel in trust is great, obviously. idk it’s weird! it’s weird! passionate about the idea of this lost gem rehallowed by its transformation from a possession to a stewardship, as always, thanks again tolkien. Did Eärendil give it to Yavanna in repentance of his quest or to Idril, because Idril came back?? Idril makes more sense and I love how painful that is, since she clearly intended him to keep it but left open the ‘possibility’ of her return in her phrasing! What a judgment on them both that he followed through! Also, imagine Idril immediately turning around like “UHHHH sure my dad was obsessed with bringing back the trees I’ll fob this off on Yavsies”

But he did not say to Gala­driel that be himself was of Gondolin long ago, and a friend of Enerdhil, though his friend in most things outrivalled him. Yet if Enerdhil had not been then Celebrimbor would have been renowned. Therefore he took thought, and began a long delicate labour, and so for Galadriel he made the great­est of his works (save the Three Rings only). And it is said that more subtle and clear was the green gem that he made than that of Enerdhil, but yet its light had less power. For whereas that of Enerdhil was lit by the Sun in its youth, already many years had passed ere Celebrimbor began his work, and nowhere in Middle-earth was the light as clear as it had been, for though Morgoth had been thrust out into the Void and could not enter again, his far shadow lay upon it. Radiant nonetheless was the Elessar of Celebrimbor; and he set it within a great brooch of silver in the likeness of an eagle rising upon outspread wings.

Maybe I’m not that married to Celebrimbor remaking the Elessar actually. I can’t remember why I felt married to it. Maybe fuck that. Although I like: [Celebrimbor struggling desperately to remember Gondolin-related things] “I’LL STICK AN EAGLE ON IT”

btw my official stance on “Celebrimbor in Gondolin” is no, no, never, but that he WAS basically lumped in with the Gondolindrim in Sirion, as were other survivors from Nargothrond.....

The native people were fairly numerous and warlike, but they were forest-dwellers, scattered communities without central leadership. They were in awe of the Númenóreans, but they did not become hostile until the tree-felling became devastating. Then they attacked and ambushed the Númenóreans when they could, and the Númenóreans treated them as enemies, and became ruthless in their fellings, giving no thought to husbandry or replanting. The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven (Lond Daer); but now the Númenóreans drove great tracks and roads into the forests northwards and south­wards from the Gwathló, and the native folk that survived fled from Minhiriath into the dark woods of the great Cape of Eryn Vorn, south of the mouth of the Baranduin, which they dared not cross, even if they could, for fear of the Elvenfolk. [...] The denuding of the lands was increased during the war in Eriador; for the exiled natives welcomed Sauron and hoped for his victory over the Men of the Sea. Sauron knew of the importance to his enemies of the Great Haven and its ship-yards, and he used these haters of Númenor as spies and guides for his raiders.

ahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaha sorry I am dying because somehow every time I forget how detailed and explicit Tolkien is about “alas for the rape of nature, which leads indigenous people without fail to ally with Satan”

(Ornê was originally applied to straighter and more slender trees such as birches, whereas stouter, more spreading trees such as oaks and beeches were called in the ancient language galada "great growth"; but this distinction was not always observed in Quenya and disappeared in Sindarin, where all trees came to be called galadh, and orn fell out of common use, surviving only in verse and songs and in many names both of persons and of trees.) That Celeborn was tall is mentioned in a note to the discussion of Númenórean Linear Measures, p.299.

On occasional confusion of Galadriel's name with the word galadh my father wrote:

in conclusion, fat Galadriel is canon: stoutest and fairest of the house of finwë

SB Nation reviews: ADOM, a 25-year-old hard-as-hell computer game

Art from ADOM.de, by Krzysztof Dycha

Style 9.5

Content 10

Overall 10

I have a new friend. His name is Sammy, and he is is a Hurthling. Sammy has had a rough life. His miserable parents tormented him throughout his childhood. But eventually he escaped their clutches and trained to become an assassin.

Was he planning to one day train his dagger against his cruel parents? He didn’t say. But then, he didn’t say much.

I met Sammy at the entrance to the Drakalor Chain, a mysterious mountain range that seemed to be the centre of an invasion of otherworldly powers. Monsters thought long-extinct overflowed its passes. The orc clans, contained for generations, were on the warpath. There were even reports of ogre armies arrayed for battle. Like many adventurers, Sammy was drawn to investigate.

Entering the pass, Sammy’s first stop was a village named Terinyo, where he was asked to find a missing carpenter. Sammy sought him out in a dungeon to the southeast, where he battled through a horde of goblins ... and then died of acute blood poisoning when bitten by a viper.

Art from ADOM.de, by Krzysztof Dycha

I have been playing Ancient Domains of Mystery, better known as ADOM, for more than 20 years. It took me 13 to close the Chaos Gate and end the invasion successfully, and I’ve long-since lost count of how many heroes died in the process. ADOM likes to kill you, and it does this a lot. As far as I can tell, there are hundreds of ways to die. You can execute yourself, for instance, with a bouncing magic missile. You can be crushed by your own backpack when an annis hag curses your bracers of lifting. You can starve to death in the wilderness. You can be electrocuted by a lightning lizard, or sacrificed to a teleporting pixie’s god, or straight-up beaten to death by an angry troll (all trolls are angry).

You can also, assuming you haven’t found a spider corpse to give you resistance, die of acute blood poisoning.

Since ADOM is a roguelike, when you die, your character is erased. No coming back, no recording saves. Gone. (Farewell, Sammy. I barely knew ye.) This is what makes the game both so difficult to beat and so compelling. Once you get past the very early game, when progress is in large part determined by luck, each death will (slowly) teach you how to navigate deeper and deeper into the Caverns of Chaos, where you will eventually stem the infernal invasion threatening the realm. Or die. Probably you’ll die.

But if you don’t, you may find strength beyond your wildest dreams. My most recent winner, Orodreth, was a high elven duelist who became a paragon of virtue (much like myself) and befriended the Cat Lord. The rewards for doing so let him shred even the more formidable opponents with ease. Before that, I won with a beastfighter who specialises in hand-to-hand combat (with a boomerang or two thrown in, mostly for style). I reckon that now, with two decades of experience, I can probably win somewhere between 10-20 percent of the time on a random character.

ADOM has changed a lot in those 20 years. For most of its existence, it was an ASCII-only game, which meant it looked like this:

The orange @ is my character, the grey B a giant bat that is trying (unsuccessfully) to fight me. I love everything about this look, from the hashtag corridors to the one-square monsters. I’ve learned to be terrified of brown “&”s (GREATER MOLOCH), capital-“D” dragons, and black-“L” emperor liches. I’ve learned to look out for yellow-“d” blink dogs, which grant the important intrinsic of teleport control when eaten. And I’ve recently learned to be on the alert for the glowing green cloak Venom Mantle, denoted by a sickly green “]”. Venom Mantle grants, among other things, acid immunity. Very handy.

Modern ADOM now looks very different. A few years ago, the game’s creator, Thomas Biskup, led a successful crowdfunding campaign to reboot development, and part of that campaign included modernising the graphics to be more welcoming to new players. Now that same fight against a giant bat looks like, well, a fight against a giant bat:

For me, ‘tile mode’ loses rather a lot of the game’s charm, but that’s probably because I grew up playing the ASCII version, and therefore tiles annihilate all of my familiarity with the game. But the rest of the new content is fantastic — Thomas and his co-developers have pumped new locations, quests, baddies and items into an already deep world, breathing new life into the ADOM community. (They’ve currently paused development in ADOM itself to work on the sequel.)

Style 9.5

As I mentioned earlier, ADOM is a roguelike, which is a type of game mostly associated with the player character dying a lot. Roguelikes are also associated with procedurally generated content, which means that significant parts of the game are randomised each time you start. Almost every dungeon is reset with each game (the extremely weird infinite dungeon gets randomised during play, which makes it a fun challenge to deep-dive). The pool of special items varies as well, which means that you never know what character build you’re going to end up with.

ADOM contains enough secrets that I haven’t managed to exhaust them in all the time I’ve been playing. Some say that the path to becoming a Chaos God begins in the Drakalor Chain, for instance. Others rumours suggest that the legendary Trident of the Red Rooster can be found somewhere deep in the mountains. Let’s not even get into where one might find the Scroll of Omnipotence (I think I came close, once, but had to retreat). The story might be on the shallow end, but, really, you’re here to explore and kick ass. Plot mostly gets in the way.

Art from ADOM.de, by Krzysztof Dycha

Meanwhile, each class of characters plays wildly differently from the next. I favour duelists, which are powerful and very fast melee fighters who are mostly useless at range or with magic. This makes them vulnerable to enemies you really don’t want to fight at close quarters, which vastly changes your approach to, for instance, an ultimate doppelgänger. A wizard, on the other hand, would simply fry said doppelgänger with an acid bolt (or whatever else), but would have a significantly more annoying time against a diamond golem, which are immune to most forms of magic.

ADOM has 22 playable classes, from farmer to mindcrafter. (These are wildly unbalanced, as they should be. It turns out it’s easier to save the world when you’re a powerful elementalist than if you’re a traveling merchant who likes to sell scrolls.) You can pick among twelve races — I like hurthlings and elves — which all have their own unique traits and styles. If you play as a troll, be prepared for hunger to be a constant problem, and to run like hell from any monster with an aging attack (trolls die young). If you’re a Mist Elf, born during the song of creation, you may be less stressed out about encountering a ghost lord.

With essentially infinite build variety and style, you can keep playing ADOM for decades and still want to come back for more. Trust me, I know.

Content 10

When ADOM came out, it was ‘postcardware.’ If you enjoyed the game, Thomas asked you to send him a postcard from wherever in the world you happened to be. I never got around to this, because teenage boys are the most inconsiderate people in the world. Thomas, if you read this, I don’t know if this post makes up for the lack of postcard, but thank you from London for keeping me entertained for so long.

Ancient Domains of Mystery is available on Steam (there’s also a free-to-play version with fewer features).

Overall 10

Countering Solas

This is a subject I think about a lot, and not just post-Tevinter Nights. Whether you chose ‘try to redeem’ or ‘resolve to stop’, whether the Inquisitor returns as PC or there’s a new guy on the block, whether Solas is the Actual Big Bad in this game or the ‘Dragon’ to something else or just another key player on the ‘field’ over which some other encroaching threat is looming down on, the reality is we’re likely to be spending a lot of the main plot in DA4 trying to counter Solas and his steps. I say “counter” not “defeating” because most of this post deals with that, although at the end it does inevitably dip into the hypothetical defeat scenario (so I guess don’t read to the last point at the end if you don’t like to think about that scenario). I also say “counter” because there is no guarantee that we can straight up stop him. (To be clear, I’m not against the idea of the main plot having him always succeeding from a top-level meta/enjoying the universe and developments within it perspective, nor asserting that he will not. There are seeds in the lore that allude to him succeeding. A post-Veil world would be a fascinating thing to explore and really change things up/refresh the universe. A post-Veil world setting for DA5 has a lot of cool potential. It’s just that even if he does always succeed, we’re still likely to be spending most of the game trying to counter him, kind of like Hawke trying to put out various Kirkwall ‘fires’ until eventually it reaches the Act 3 crescendo and you can’t stop Anders no matter what. I’m specifically wondering about how the writers will have our PCs go about the attempt, trying to explore what that could entail on a practical level, and that’s okay. It’s trying to think about what the story beats and even some game mechanics could involve, given his power. The PC isn’t going to spend the game sitting on their hands and doing nothing re: the Dread Wolf, since Thedas seems aware of this new threat, unlike how Kirkwall was unaware of Anders’ goal. This post also doesn’t mean I don’t like Solas, that I haven’t played out his dialogues or romance, that I don't realize how Powerful he is, or that I think that there’s no other big threat to Thedas that is a serious danger to the world and that Solas is concerned about - the Solas romance is my favorite one and my canon. I shouldn’t really have to make so many qualifications of this kind on a post like this) Anyway I wonder a lot about the specifics of how they’re going to write the PC doing this in terms of the PC’s in-universe efforts and maneuvers on this quest, and about how they can portray this in a satisfying way. I also think a lot about what my Inquisitor would be doing in her own specific efforts to try and stop him.

Here’s some wandering thoughts on the subject of how it might be possible to counter him. It’s a mix of things to keep and mind and literal suggestions of possible measures. This list is by no means intended as prescriptive or exhaustive, and I don’t claim that it’s realistic or ground-breaking or that these ideas would be super effective. There are also bound to be a bunch of things they have in store that we don’t know about, both in terms of what he can do and what they’ll have us do. The rest is under a cut for length and Tevinter Nights spoilers.

Let’s face it, from what we know of Solas, added to how he is at the end of Trespasser, now in combination with the new additions to his repertoire in Tevinter Nights, he’s clearly very powerful, even seeming in some lights a bit OP. He’s a powerful ancient mage from a different time with ancient knowledge, a Dreamer, a Rift Mage, a Fade expert, capable, shrewd, very intelligent and already experienced in this kind of covert stuff/guerrilla warfare. He can kill people in their sleep, freeze people from a distance with a flash of his eyes, he has a powerfully explosive mind-blast move, probably can take the form of the massive draconic Dread Wolf to fight, and it seems like some spirits are helping him. He also has an extensive network of spies and agents, some of whom are fanatically loyal to the cause to the point of being willing to giving their lives up for it; he has eyes everywhere, even in the Qun, Tevinter and the Inquisition. He and these agents are also able to easily move quickly and secretly around much of Thedas thanks to his control of the eluvian network. They seem to have a lot of info, resources and money at their disposal. He is a very substantial power and is of course also a god figure.

Recruit. This is fairly self-explanatory. We already know that since he knows who the Inquisition are, we’re in need of help from people he doesn’t know. This can be people he’s aware of but not super experienced with i.e. that he doesn’t have a complete psychological profile of thanks to having not spent a year working closely with them, like Irian and Vadis. Naturally, an even better idea would be recruiting people he doesn’t know of at all, that have never attracted his attention. It’s also important to remember that there are entire factions we’ve never encountered before in Thedas, like the Fex and the Par Ladians. Very little is known about these groups. We have no idea what they’re capable of, and the dearth of information means it’s totally possible for the writers to write whatever they want about their capabilities and powers.

Some recruitment specifics: Since we know now that he can kill dwarves in their sleep the same as anyone else, even though they supposedly don’t dream, focusing on recruiting mostly dwarves because they wouldn’t be vulnerable to that doesn’t really hold as a viable strategy. A degree of caution towards both existing and new faces is required also, as he has spies/agents placed everywhere - in the Inquisition, the Qun, Tevinter, across Thedas even (which I took to mean across most of its nations and factions). New people need to be highly vetted. Where did they come from? What’s their personal history? How long do the records say they’ve been around for? If there’s anything odd, questionable or unknown/unsure, they can’t be trusted. (Frustratingly, my Inquisitor genuinely mistrusted Solas from the very outset, but you have no option of telling him to go away or not recruiting him). I also hate saying it but an extra layer of caution is unfortunately needed with elves. His agents so far are all elves, including some City, some Dalish, and some ancients, and we can’t know at the outset who is working for him and who is not.

And possibly… even someone he does know. Seemingly clashes with the points above, but there’s merit in the idea. Solas makes a big deal of how he has spies everywhere and how all organizations inevitably have problems with betrayal and corruption. Even with the fanatical-ness of some of them, what makes his follower group any different? I know he keeps them in separate cells so that it’s need-to-know and such, but it’s actually rather boring to me if as a whole they’re completely immune to being infiltrated, having double agents present or outright defections. We already have one example of an ancient elf who turned from the cause and began to think of modern elves as people - Felassan. I bring him up less as a ‘Felassan as a companion pls’ thing (although, pls pls) and more of an example that it’s possible such a character exists/could turn. Felassan didn’t know everything, but if we managed to get someone like that on our side… he knew parts of Solas’ plans and what he intends, and he knew the guy himself quite well and so knew a thing or two about how he operates. Advice from someone like that would be invaluable. You could either have someone acting as an agent of Fen’Harel but in reality they’re a double-agent for us, or a straight up defector who joins our party, turning their powers and what they know about him against him. Additional note: There is now even official indication that the writers have left the door open on Felassan’s “death” in case they decide they want to bring him back.

Not all elves will support him. Ties into the point above. Elves are not a monolith. We have examples of this already - see Charter and her love for Tessa, Irian’s refusal to join them when approached for recruitment (and her relationship with Vadis and general opinion on the whole Fen’Harel cult thing). We even have an example of an ancient not supporting him (Felassan). I would appreciate it if there is an option in-game at some point to try to have a dialogue with some of the elves who follow Solas (but mostly only if race-selection returns and the PC is an elf themselves, otherwise it could take on a not-right tone). Their decision to support Solas is understandable and not stupid, and their concerns are valid. Gaining better understanding of their perspective would be a good thing.

Adapt / change things up. Also fairly self-explanatory. We already know that he knows how the Inquisition works, about its strengths and weaknesses. They are naturally going to need to radically alter their modus operandi. This includes their structure, approaches to things and the specifics of their secrecy measures. They need to try and be unpredictable to him and do things he wouldn’t expect, and double down on being clandestine, need-to-know basis, etc. Real black ops shit. This battle is a chess-board, not open warfare.

Talk-no-Justu. Some amount of this are inevitable I think, especially in ‘try to redeem’ universes. This isn’t a criticism. If it’s well-written and executed well, I have no problem with it. Part of this involves trying to appeal to his better nature and sense of reason, and part of this involves trying to convey the value in and the pockets of good in the modern world, which TN gives us examples of. We have examples of some modern elves who occupy or occupied different positions of relative power or prestige - Charter, Irian, Teia, Cyrros, Guili, Bolivar. There are examples of good deeds; Teia’s ‘don’t kill the help’ policy, Irian and Vadis avoiding killing Tevinter elven servants and Qunari elves who were just doing their jobs, Dorian no longer keeping slaves and only now having paid servants, Lucanis endangering his job and current contract to free a group of elven slaves from their cruel Magister master, the development of an anti-slavery movement in Tevinter. Much of Thedas is still a widely problematic crapsack, and these things don’t in the slightest make up for it for its oppressed groups, but I can see BW putting us in a position where we have the choice of trying to advocate for the modern world and creating change within it as it exists now.

Solas hasn’t been as mysterious and opaque as he thinks. We too spent a long time with him and know his character traits decently well. Sometimes he even could not resist dropping a hint here or there (whether out of pride, moments of weakness or the unconscious desire to be stopped is up to your reading of him). We too know something of how he organizes his forces, how he operates, his tactics and way of thinking. We are not the only ones in this compromised position. He inadvertently revealed some of this stuff in instances like his guerrilla warfare banters with Sera and even in his vocal chess match with Iron Bull. Please note that this is not me suggesting that he is stupid or that he does not carefully consider what to say and what not to say. 

He is not all-knowing and all-seeing. He doesn’t have complete oversight of his agents. Sometimes they do things he would not approve of or even that are in accidental complete opposition to what he wants. The best example of his is when Gaius in the comics traded away the idol for information, the very idol Solas has been keenly-seeking all along and is key to his post-foci plans. To add, some of his people are fanatical, and fanaticism is not traditionally a notorious hotbed of critical thinking or making the best decisions.

He is also not infallible. I don’t doubt that he is eminently capable, or that he’s logical and considered, or that he’s keenly aware of what his flaws are. But in his own way, he’s human. He has made mistakes. By his own admission he’s prideful and hotheaded. Pride is his fatal flaw and the crux of his character. He will continue to make mistakes, as anybody would.

There is a bit of a front going on. In a way, the booming ordering wolf and the “I’ll destroy anyone who gets in my way without hesitation, you cannot stop me” persona isn’t quite true. I mean, it is, and he will, he’s dedicated to his goal and feels he has no choice. He’s also quite pragmatic and ends-over-means. But he’s also simultaneously deeply regretful, and very sad and tired. This duality can be capitalized on. Also tying to the above, when we’re sad and tired, we’re more inclined to slip up and make mistakes. In some universes he straight-up seems like the wants to be proven wrong or wants to be stopped or die in the attempt but be thwarted.

He himself acknowledges the threat modern Thedosians pose to him and his plans. He is on record saying that many people oppose him and that he knows they’re not fools. He’s worried enough to personally attend a meeting of the top spies in all of Thedas in order to try and find out what they know about him and attempt to throw people off his scent. That’s a big deal. He is worried for a reason

He underestimates modern Thedosians. Related to the point above. Not by much, but still a bit. Felassan straight-up tells him that they are stronger than he thinks. This goes for their intelligence and resourcefulness also.

How many followers can he even have? A few dozen at least, a few hundred at most imo. That’s considerable but not actually a lot in the scheme of things.

Length of time. Self-explanatory. It’s going to take a few years for the ritual to complete. HoF stopped the Fifth Blight in a year. Inky stopped Cory in a year. A lot can be done in a year or two.

Forge alliances. There are seeds of this happening already and it’s a standard part of a BW narrative, ‘oh we must unite against our common enemy guys’. He clearly has knowledge of many intelligence-related groups in Thedas, including but not limited to the dwarven Carta, Inquisition remains, Nevarran Mortalitasi, Tevinter Siccari, Qunari Ben-Hassrath, the Executors and probably Orlesian bards. But, could he really stand against all of them, were they to work together? They in turn have been keeping tabs on him and have various intelligence on his movements, goals etc. What if we pool and share all that knowledge? We’d get a much clearer picture of what he’s doing. Some are already actively working against him and reaching out to one another. What if we add in other groups he doesn’t have a signposted-eye on to the mix, like the Antivan Crows, the Grey Wardens and the Rivaini Lords of Fortune? I think all or most of these groups working together are a formidable adversary for anyone to face. A potentially very potent ‘let’s counter him’ alliance between the Inquisition and the Qunari Ben-Hassrath is already alluded to. What if the Ben-Hassrath then re-direct the Antaam’s attentions to the real magical threat (and boy do they hate magic)? They have canons, explosives, dreadnoughts, advanced technologies, many well-trained soldiers.

Information-gathering. If there’s one fallen piece of Arlathan with bits of libraries with ancient elven texts in them that can be located by the Inquisition and ransacked for clues on the Evanuris and their potential undoing, there are others. The Inquisition and Qunari are both clearly researching this subject and pursuing this line of thinking, and they clearly both had this idea independent of one another. If one expedition can be mounted, others can. Laudine can’t be the only person for a gift for ancient elven language. Among the Dalish there are probably others who are good with it. Who knows what useful information we might find in these places/ventures, or already found in the TN expedition?

Smash the eluvianarchy. His agents would still be able to get around a lot and easily, because there are bound to be many more and many that we don’t know about. It’s also a waste of priceless ancient artifacts. But every barricaded door is one they can’t get through, one more tool denied them. Briala and her people probably know where a portion of them at least still are. So do the Qunari. Doing this to every one that’s known of and every one that’s found along the way partially hampers their ability to travel through them and therefore partially impacts their movements

[and/or] Construct our own eluvians. Having our own means of instant travel and our own network of eluvians would be helpful. Two can play at that game, sort of thing. Modern inventors like Dagna are brilliant. The Glassworks in Serault are renowned across Thedas for their skill and knowledge, and Morrigan even went there to conduct research on eluvians. What they have there, and what she researched, was enough that it enabled her to be able to repair an eluvian. The Inquisition has done some research into eluvians and has contact, either direct as in the case of Morrigan, or indirect as in the case of Merrill (via Varric) with its own eluvian experts. And in Trespasser, Dorian comments that they have many eluvian samples and discusses the possibility of them building eluvians of their own (Varric even pipes up about Merrill if he’s there). Dorian indicates a desire to do this and take it on as a project, so this isn’t out of the realm of possibility.

Seize the means of lyrium production. Okay not literally, and not all of it. But there’s something to be said for the idea, both at the point of extraction and the point of sale/trade. If his ritual truly does require lyrium as the characters in the final story in TN speculate, if his ritual is anything like what the Magisters Sidereal did, it’s likely that he needs looots of the substance. The Magisters Sidereal needed an unimaginable, inordinate amount, actually over two thirds of the lyrium in the entire Tevinter empire at the time. The Magisters had to set 100 acolytes just to the task of gathering it. This amount of such a valuable substance would surely take some time to acquire, even with his many agents and all his money. If you remember, all those coffin-like boxes in Trespasser may have contained lyrium. The companions remark that this was enough lyrium for whole armies of mages. So much lyrium that the Imperium would be jealous and it outstrips the amount Orzammar keeps on hand. That sounds like a Magisters Sidereal Ritual 2.0 amount, if not more. Fortunately we flooded that room and put everything that had been mined underwater. Is there more elsewhere, or was that The store, was that a setback for Solas and he had to begin acquiring it all over again? It does sound like his ritual has already begun, to be fair, which would perhaps imply he had all he needed in order to have begun it in the first place. But I enjoy the thought. Maybe it requires more like a constant stream fed into it, like how we must routinely add wood to a fire in order to keep it burning? Track missing lyrium shipments, find out who is buying up an oddly-much amount. Follow these lines of thinking back to route agents of Fen’Harel and prolong this labor of his. However, a note: if Solas’ ritual requires red lyrium to fuel it and not blue lyrium, this is unlikely to be possible and would not be wise to attempt.

Tap the templars and the Seekers. I don’t like the templars either, but. Tevinter templars have access to enchanted anti-mage weapons that shoot beams of light. Even better, the southern templars and the Seekers are trained specifically to counter and deny magic. They can reinforce reality and the immutability of the world, close off a mage’s access to the Fade, disrupt mana and dissipate magical effects. This is in stark contrast to the magical/Fade-y themes of imagination defining reality and using magic to direct the river of the Fade and therefore influence the world, and I think this contrast is highlighted for a reason. Templars are also somewhat immune to the effects of magic, and even without their powers are among the best warriors in Thedas. They would be capable allies in this specific battle, against a powerful mage with some strong mage followers. And more specifically, a few dozen elite/veteran templars were all that was needed to seal the Breach that first time in DAI if you sided with the templars. Okay yes, via the Herald and through their tool - the Anchor - but that was to seal an already-open tear. What would happen if a few dozen elite templars directed their wills and nullifying abilities at the ritual-in-progress? What about a few hundred? Would Solas be able to cast, for example, his mega mind blast if a few hundred templars were focusing their “nope” on him?

Disrupt the ritual. Ties to the above. Find the ritual site and interrupt the casting or proceedings. It’s going to take several years to complete and sounds intricate. Until it is completed, it is vulnerable. It might be fairly possible to locate as well - the site is likely imo to be somewhere where the Veil is thin. Some such places are already known to modern Thedosians, due to what happened there in the past being a matter of historical record (blood and death) and the weird nature of these places in the present e.g. Brecilian Forest, Arlathan Forest. Others can feasibly be located via research. Solas is the premiere Fade/Veil expert, and he led the work on this at the time, but the Inquisition helped him get readings of the Veil and measure its strength. The results were then overlaid on Thedas maps to predict which areas had a higher chance of tears developing. Are they still in possession of some of this work/some of the notes? Maybe this could be used or developed further.

Nullifying the effects of the idol. This is something that’s clearly possible. The Carta had a special thick double-shielded chest that effectively rendered the idol inert enough that its song and weird effects could no longer be heard/felt. It was marked with protective dwarven runes. Later the idol is kept on a pedestral wrought with - presumably similar - protective runework. I’m super interested in these runes and how they might be adapted to help our cause. (What implications in a general sense btw, do these nullifying runes have for combatting/negating red lyrium and Blight? There’s something going on here) The dwarves are great at this kind of thing, experienced in it and have some really cutting edge technology/creations. In addition, there are some really smart cookies and inventors among modern Thedosians. Dagna for example. She’s brilliant. One step further, destroy the idol. If his MacGuffin is destroyed, what’s his Plan C? 

The effects of red lyrium. LOTR-y, but how long can he use or wield the red lyrium idol safely, without becoming corrupted/losing his mind? We know what its effects and the effects of red lyrium in general are. Maybe this is a complete non-issue for him, but it’s possible. In the teaser, red lyrium crawls up the spine of the Solas-esque figure on the idol. I don’t know that he can be immune to its effects indefinitely.

Approach existing modern Dreamers. The talent seemed to reappear in Feynriel, but he’s not the only one. There are still Dreamers in the Imperium, like Aurelian Titus before his death. I doubt he had no counterparts. There is also a belief that a few Dreamers might still exist among the Dalish. Maybe they can help us and our people find a way to defend against or ward off being killed in our sleep.

On the killing in sleep thing in general: It’s not the same as defending against being killed in sleep, but even some strong non-Dreamer mages like the Mortalitasi woman in the final TN story have the ability to create some kind of wards that keep the spirits that whisper in their dreams at bay. She could still hear/sense them whispering but they can’t get to her for vengeance. Similarly and in addition, Felassan had herbs that could keep him from dreaming most of the time, and wards that would do a good job of blocking him from the Fade when the herbs failed. It wouldn’t have been pleasant and it would still have been plenty risky, but it seemed like he could have feasibly used these measures to live a life, albeit constantly looking over his shoulder, at least for a time (this reminds me of keeping Will drugged up in Sens8 so Whispers couldn’t get to him). Modern Dalish have alluded to at least knowing of these herbs’ past existence (Mihris). I’m not sure what the exact connection is, because the dwarves were killed, and they supposedly don’t dream, so it seems like sleeping itself not specifically dreaming is the thing that makes one vulnerable to this thing, but maybe there’s something there that can be utilized or adapted. Even ‘partial cover’ would be super helpful. In emergency situations in the short-term, coffee and other mundane ways of preventing sleep are handy temporary measures, as the Carta dwarf was doing (I’m thinking about situations where an agent’s wards have dwindled and need like refreshing but they still have some distance to travel or time to wait until a mage arrives to refresh them - for example. Don’t mistake this for “we’ll stop him by drinking coffee”… writing that sentence made me laugh). Key to the defense here btw however for me is the fact that Adralla of Vyrtantium, you know, as in who made the Litany of Adralla, discovered or formulated a defense against dream-walkers. Get Adralla’s research, stat.

Along with the sleep-killing, the other major obstacle imo is his freezing ability. The Inquisition are implied to have discovered some kind of knowledge-y MacGuffin. As above with Talk-no-Justu, some amount of MacGuffin-ness is inevitable I think. Again this isn’t a criticism, if it’s well-written and executed well, I have no problem with it. In an ideal universe for me the MacGuffin includes some kind of defense against or way of negating the effect of his freezing powers. Notably, there is a precedent for something of this sort in the lore. In the MotA DLC, we gather jewels and reconstruct the Dagger of the Four Winds. With this dagger, the pirates who are petrified stone statues can be unpetrified. Interestingly, the Fog Dancers (who live in the north, where we’re going..!) have a story called the March of the Four Winds. Perhaps it’s connected, and the Fog Dancers know how to counter petrification. Even if they don’t, example MacGuffins like the Dagger clearly exist in Thedas, so it’s not much of a stretch to suggest that we could engineer a means of protection against this power. Or if not protection, perhaps a way of reversing? It’s debated if the Fog Warriors’ fog is magic or alchemy - if they also have the means to counteract petrification, it could also be either one. I like the scene in Narnia when Aslan breathes life and motion back into the frozen victims of the White Witch.

His true name. Not sure what exactly all that was about, but in that one story the Qunari allude to the fact that his names that we know aren’t true or aren’t quite true. They seem to be looking for information on his supposed-”true name”. Not sure if it’s just Qunari philosophy or Rasaan being Rasaan, but they believe that with this true name they can track a person back through the best and the worst of themselves, find flaws, exploit weaknesses, know what they had failed to be. A common fictional trope is I Know Your True Name. It’s like functional magic whereby knowing the secret true name of someone grants you control over them or some similar great advantage. I’m very intrigued by this idea, what it could mean and the potential here. “Find the Dread Wolf’s true name” quest arc?

Bring the full might of nations and their armies to bear. The idea of entire nations standing against him is already hinted at. This is a purely hypothetical situation, as the devs might not even have us fighting him, or the final battle could easily be against a possible true or bigger antagonist. Consider though a final assault launched on the located ritual site, with our main squad as the tip of the spear and being the ones who facilitate/convey the means to disrupt it to the center, or the entrance to the center (they would also inevitably be the ones who fight the final battle against him personally at the ritual-site-proper, where I imagine he’d be, trying to complete the cast or ready to do his thing when it’s done). Even with hundreds of followers and some mages, can he really defend the site against entire armies of multiple Thedosian nations, especially when he himself is mostly-occupied at the site-proper? Especially when said armies are peppered or reinforced/led by ‘special forces’ like the organizations I’ve named above?

A final battle against the literal Dread Wolf: I’m actually not worried about this. His form is mighty and dangerous, and I know that in-universe it would post a massive threat. I’m also aware of gameplay/story segregation and how our MCs in these games are invariably special or especially heroic compared to normies. But the fact is we and other people defeat giant beasts in this setting - Archdemons, high dragons, Blighted dragons, hyped up power-goons like ancient Magisters, ancient powerful demons like the Forbidden ones - on the regular. I am not worried about a squad of 4 wailing on a giant wolf. In addition, if there is a true or bigger antagonist, we might never even have to fight the DW.

On a meta level there’s going to be a combat-based game with bosses and a Player Vs Antagonist arc, and it has to be fun to play, have an engaging plot, be of a certain length. However it works out in the end in terms of him succeeding/not succeeding (btw us not succeeding, the ‘you failed despite how hard you tried to keep a cap on this thing’-style narrative, has value as a different kind of story which is cool - see DA2), the characters are still going to try. If he just freezes the PC on first meeting or at any subsequent meeting, how is there going to be a game/plot..? Is the PC never going to sleep for the in-universe duration of their campaign, or are we just supposed to buy that he had the ability to kill them in their sleep for the whole game all along and not once decided to use it to stop them? Solas isn’t stupid! I love a ‘desperate odds, how are we gonna do this, the villain is so incredibly powerful, this feels hopeless’-narrative, and don’t doubt that it’s gonna be in there, but it also has to be sensible - believable. We need to feel both threatened and also that if we try, we might be able to do something. It’s a balance to be struck. There’s going to be something, some kind of creative writing around his power gains or limit on it, some series of steps the PC will be investigating and attempting to take, or else the premise is nonsensical - even if the story has him always succeeding and even in the case of a true or larger threat.

The need to ensure permadeath/permadefeat: In the case of redeem universes, this is only a possible potential scenario that I’m posing to explore. I am not asserting nor wishing that this will happen. If even in those universes we fail in the attempt to convince him, or outright cannot convince him to stop, and in a general sense if there’s no other way (and disregarding for this one point/scenario here the possibility that for plot reasons his plans actually railroad to success - which I acknowledge is entirely possible - and he then dies or something as a result) - the first of his people do not die so easily. He’s not so far from the first of his people. He is an ancient and they were immortal. Flemythal’s various survivals over the years is an example of what might be possible. Plus if he was originally a spirit, or given the ancients’ spirity-ness, consider how when spirits ‘die’ they return to the Fade, and if the idea that gave it form is strong or other spirits have memories of it, something similar might reform one day. In this specific scenario, we need to be sure that killing him is a true permadeath, or that else that the means of disabling/depowering him is permanent. I don’t like the idea and don’t like the Rite of Tranquility and what it does to mages, it’s abhorrent, but this is a specific hypothetical scenario and I’m thinking about all options. If he can’t be swayed and can’t be truly killed, maybe making him Tranquil is an effective means of neutralizing the threat. Even it can be reversed however, so in this specific hypothetical scenario I’m curious what they’ll do here/how it would go down. Maybe he can’t even be made Tranquil, or would need to be killed in the Fade and then made Tranquil ‘twice-over’ kinda by doing it irl too? Interesting thought.

Sinners all? Geldauron to Hakkon

Hey Nony,

Don’t be done or sorry!  I know what you mean about not being able to sleep and it’s being 5am, and you have DA ideas that just have to be written down just in case they turn into something.  And you do raise a very interesting possibility.  Is there a connection between the Sinner, Geldauran, and Hakkon?  Looking into your question brought several things to light I would not have noticed if you hadn’t asked.  So thanks!

There’s a lot of weird shit going on in the Frostback Basin, not least of which is (what appears to be) a firsthand quote from one of the Forgotten Ones.  Is it possible there is a connection between this powerful “dark god” from the elven pantheon and the later rise of Hakkon?  It sure looks that way!

Here’s the quick summary:

*Geldauran is sealed away in the elven ‘temple’ in the Frostback Basin, a Creator-forsaken land (to the ancient elvhen at least) with almost no edifices or monuments to the elven gods.  That tomb is sealed with spirit stones that are almost impossible to see, let alone find, once the Veil is place.  Those stones are scattered across the valley to prevent them from being reassembled easily, and the prison/temple itself was buried beneath the earth.

“Their pride will consume them, and I, forgotten, will claim power of my own, apart from them until I strike in mastery.” (Geldauran’s Claim)

*Some time later (possibly as early as 3200 years before present) the Avvar enter the region.  The Avvar live with the spirits of the region, shaping them into their pantheon of gods.  They communicate with one “spirit” or entity in a very curious way:

“The savages speak to their gods in the cave passage. They call it the Mouth of Echoes. They light fires and feed them with green spruce and shout their questions into the deep. They say answers come to them on the last whispered echo.” (Mouth of Echoes)

*Tevinter mages, searching for a way to communicate with Razikale, arrive in the Frostback Basin in the time gap between the Corypheus and the Magisters Sidereal entering the Black City and the foundation of the Orlesian Chantry.  They believe that the Avvar may have special knowledge about communicating with spirits.  These followers of Razikale reshape the land and expose the buried elven temple, but whatever was inside (Geldauran) was beyond their ability to control or dangerous in some way.  They construct an elaborate system of magical beams, crossing the Basin from Razikale’s Reach to the Old Temple, to seal that spirit in an even more powerful ice ward prison.  

They then abandon the region.

“Some of the Avvar, he said, believed the temple to be the haunt of old, vengeful spirits. The Tevinter had come here long ago and built their great temples and then one day, without warning, they had abandoned them all. Ragnarr was convinced they had done something terrible here, though he could not tell me what it was.” (Razikale’s Reach)

*Tevinter’s efforts to seal away what they found in the elven temple were not successful.  Within a few hundred years at most, the original Jaws of Hakkon learned to enter the the Old Tevinter Temple.  In the early Divine Age, they emerge with “Hakkon” bound to a dragon.

“In the old times, the first Jaws of Hakkon spoke with the great spirit himself. He opened their eyes that they might see the elfstones hidden across the world, and they entered the old cave and learned the mysteries of winter. Their working of cold let them slip through the ice-wall that wards the lowlander fortress, and we must now do the same if we are to take it as our own. 

Hakkon has been silent all our lives. He cannot speak to us in dreams or open our eyes, and we remain blind to the elfstones. The lowlanders, though, have found a new way to see them. The skull of a dream-slain, set with the right magicks, can bring the elfstones to our sight.

We will regain the mystery of winter.” (Leather-Bound Hakkonite Journal)

*Ameridan travels to the Frostback Basin to stop Hakkon, but miscalculations on Ameridan’s part and the power of Hakkon himself is more than the Inquisitor and his companions can overcome. The last Inquisitor traps Hakkon with time magic until the modern Inquisitor sets both free.

“The dragon's power is like none I have ever seen. Possessed by this Avvar god-spirit, it rivals the legendary Archdemon Dumat in its fury. I pray the legends of another Archdemon leading the Blight in the Anderfels are just foolish stories, but if they are true, then I understand why Emperor Drakon asked me to come here. Drakon's new "Orlais" cannot face two god-dragons at once.” (Pages near an Old Campfire)

*Time magic wards (which I would really like to know how Ameridan knew how to do) and 800 years later, the modern Inquisitor finishes the job Ameridan started, finally killing Hakkon.  

The chain of events certainly seems to lead back to the Geldauran inscription in the elven temple.  

Proving a connection to the Sinner, however, is nigh impossible at this point.  We just don’t have enough information about who the Sinner was, what exactly he did, and what happened to him.   If the Sinner took the form of a dragon, like most of us meta writers assume, he could have shown the elven people that the Evanuris were not the only ones who could take the form of the “divine”.  He would have been punished for such an act, perhaps being sealed in a temple/tomb bound in body and spirits, but there is no way to say for certain.

 All the same, I think all of these individuals and groups are connected through the Evanuris.  Is the Sinner an important player in all of these events?  Very likely.  The ominous tenor of the codex entry certainly makes it seem like a turning point, but we won’t know for what until at least DA4.

Thanks for the ask, Nony!  I found a lot of things I wasn’t expecting, which makes this result all the more satisfying.  

-MM

PS: There is a lot more to this meta than the summary.  For a more in depth analysis of the evidence that led to this summary, and a lot of other cool discoveries, check out the long version of this post under the cut.

Geldauran seems to be the lynchpin here.  We have more information about him and the other the Forgotten Ones than we have about Hakkon or the Sinner, but even that information is limited.  We know the Forgotten Ones are portrayed as enemies of the Elvhenan in Dalish legends.  But what are they really?  Elves?  Spirits?  Titans?!?

Let’s go to the source and see what we can figure out:

Geldauran wanted his message to be clear to anyone who came across it.  And the first thing he wants them to know: “There are no gods.”  Geldy knows the truth about the Evanuris.  He refuses to bow to the elven gods, and he believes that, in time, he will claim power enough to strike (at them? at the elves?).  So far, that is matching up pretty well with what we know about the Forgotten Ones, with one exception.  According to Dalish legends, Geldauran, Daern'thal, Anaris, and the other Forgotten Ones were afforded “god” status by the elves.

The legend says that before the fall of Arlathan, the gods we know and revere fought an endless war with others of their kind. There is not a hahren among us who remembers these others: Only in dreams do we hear whispered the names of Geldauran and Daern'thal and Anaris, for they are the Forgotten Ones, the gods of terror and malice, spite and pestilence. In ancient times, only Fen'Harel could walk without fear among both our gods and the Forgotten Ones, for although he is kin to the gods of the People, the Forgotten Ones knew of his cunning ways, and saw him as one of their own.

And that is how Fen'Harel tricked them. Our gods saw him as a brother, and they trusted him when he said that they must keep to the heavens while he arranged a truce. And the Forgotten Ones trusted him also when he said he would arrange for the defeat of our gods, if only the Forgotten Ones would return to the abyss for a time. They trusted Fen'Harel, and they were all of them betrayed. And Fen'Harel sealed them away so they could never again walk among the People.

—From The Tale of Fen'Harel's Triumph, as told by Gisharel, Keeper of the Ralaferin clan of the Dalish elves (Emphasis added.)

So what do we have here?  First of all, the fact that the Dalish after thousands of years still remember the Forgotten Ones as gods in spite of Geldauran’s claim that “there are no gods”.  This feels like post-Veil propaganda that seeks to cast aspersions on Solas, but also claims that Geldy and co. were gods like the Evanuris.  Think about what that means for a moment.  The Forgotten Ones were so powerful that the elves had to say they were also gods in order to keep the Evanuris on their pedestal.  

And doesn’t it sound like the Forgotten Ones were elves?  Really powerful elves, like the Evanuris, but elves all the same.  So what made them dark and terrible?  And notice that something in the Fade whispered to the elves post Veil that these Forgotten Ones were really evil.  Who do we know who are stuck in the Fade?  Spirits obviously, but the Evanuris too.  The elven gods trapped in the Fade seem to have thought it was worth their time to keep up the pretense that the Forgotten Ones were gods.  Why?   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

Kidding.  I do have a theory.  It is probably because the Evanuris thought that they would be able to escape Solas’ trap fairly easily (at least at first) and believed that the Forgotten Ones would too.  Keeping fear of them alive would keep their worshipers from seeking out these other “gods” in their absence. And on that count, they seem to have been right, with an exception of those Dalish near Serault in the Tirashan Forest who seem pretty scary and worship the Forgotten Ones.  I suspect these elves will get screen time in the next game.

Next step: Where and how were the Forgotten Ones imprisoned?

The Geldauran codex is inside an ancient temple that is very familiar.  One of the things that stood out to me when I first played the Jaws of Hakkon was the lack of elven sites and artifacts in the Frostback Basin.  There is a statue of Falon’Din above Stone-Bear Hold and that’s about it.  Well, except for a temple, which is a scaled down version of the Temple of Solasan in the Forbidden Oasis.  These ruins show that there was an ancient elven presence in the area, but limited and likely for a specific purpose.  If the Temple of Solasan is any indication, that purpose may not have been to worship the elven gods or as a place to enter uthenera.  Instead, they may have been used as a prisons.  

The Forbidden Oasis is the next piece of the puzzle.

There are codex entries that indicate that the temple is elven in origin and very ancient, but there is little to indicate that there was anything significant in the area, unlike the Temples of Mythal or Dirthamen.  In fact, the whole construction technique with Solasan and the Frostback Basin site (let’s call it the Frosty Temple, to make things simpler) is different.  These structures were built into the earth, and may have at one time been completely buried, given the stratigraphy of the land around them and erosion from the nearby rivers.  And notice...no eluvians in either site.  Once you were in, there was no coming out..at least until time and erosion, perhaps with magical help, exposed the “temples” once again.

Another sign that these two sites may have been used as prisons is found on the stele in the innermost sanctum of the Solasan Temple.  It reads:

Also, as shown in the video above, the entrance of the Solasan temple had a warding spell on it that frightens mortals and spirits, another line of defense to prevent the door from being opened.  The stele at the entrance of Solasan reinforces this feeling with a warning, telling people to stay away:

There are other warning signs as well, including the statue that greets people entering the Oasis with a severed head.  People that stay in the area too long eventually go mad (1, 2, 3), either from the wards, from whatever is in the temple, or from strange “warping” of the Veil in the area.  Didot, the miner featured in the three codex entries, however, is compelled to return to the door over and over again.  There are probably two different and opposing magical compulsions going on in the Oasis; something inside the temple wants out but the wards push people away.  Stay too long and insanity is the result.  While you are in the temple or the oasis, Solas makes several interesting observations about the temple and the Veil there.  He says:

(Forbidden Oasis) The Veil is strange here... as if it were reinforced, but for a few places where it has been warped.

Yeah, Solas.  We saw your damned elven Veil artifact in the temple.  Turned it on too.  Sigh.  Clearly, Fen’Harel’s agents were in the temple before.  A good question would be what were they there for?  Were they just putting the hardware in place to create the Veil?  Were they responsible for imprisoning the individual shown on the stele in the inner chamber?  Were they staging a jailbreak?  Were they after the powers gained from opening the various chambers?  Hard to say, other than the Forgotten Ones seem to hate Fen’Harel, in spite of codex entries to the contrary.  Felassan is as close to a first hand source, and he says that Anaris wanted to kill the Dread Wolf “for crimes against the Forgotten Ones”.  So whatever Solas’ agents were doing in Solasan, he definitely knows more about the temple than he says (as usual).  Later, when the Inquisitor opens a sarcophagus inside the tombs, he says:

Solas: The magic was drawn to you, possibly because of your mark. The effects were purely benign.

Inquisitor: If it wasn’t a trap, what was it?

Solas: It may be a reward for those who prove themselves worthy.

What kind of a person sets up a warding system that will drive people in the area to madness and death if they get too close to the temple, then rewards them after they fight off the possessed corpses with magic that may only be attracted to you because of a very specific type of magic only currently known to be used by the Inquisitor, and previously contained in the Orb of Fen’Harel?  Seems fishy, but I don’t have time to follow up that the thoughts I am having about that here.  

The next part of the mystery explains why the Solasan and Frosty temples remained sealed and hidden away for so long, and also how they were eventually found again.  Let’s talk about spirit stones and oculara, people.  

In the Hissing Wastes the Inquisitor finds a diary with some background on the spirit stones:

So spirits can see or feel the stones, they have been there for ages, likely since the Veil was created, and the Breach may have made it possible, or easier, to find them, at least according to a codex entry from the Hinterlands.  More information about the shards is found in the Frostback Basin, including a sequence of event that seem to be the key to the Mystery of Winter.

The Avvar had lived in the Frostback Basin region for thousands years, communicating with spirits who they shaped to become their gods.  Then Tevinter shows up:

Tevinter went to massive efforts to uncover the ancient elven temple, at least if Helsdim Rolfsen isn’t a total nut bag.  (He’s definitely has a problem with over complicating a story, which I can totally relate to ^_^, but the initial observations that lead him to his outrageous conspiracy theories are usually sound.):

Whatever Razikale’s followers found in the temple, it’s pretty clear that it scared the shit out of them.  They construct a complicated magical ice machine that sealed the Old Temple and then they abandon the region.  

Tevinter, however, underestimated how powerful the being/spirit/whatever in the elven temple was, and how strong Avvar magic is, especially concerning their connections to spirits.  After the Imperium abandoned the basin, the original Jaws of Hakkon took up the challenge of “taming” what was in the Old Temple.

All of these codices create a complete chain of custody, from the ancient elves to the modern Hakkonites.  Ameridan, himself, gives us the final piece of the puzzle.

Ameridan compares Hakkon’s power to Dumat’s, the archdemon who lead the darkspawn in the nearly 200 year long First Blight.  Whether or not the Old Gods are the Evanuris (I typically think they are probably not, but if any of us could prove it one way or the other, we all would have a lot less meta to write. ^_^ )  Hakkon’s power is beyond that of a normal spirit, implying that he is extraordinary.  But was he truly a spirit/demon?  We have instances of elves dropping their bodies in order to seal themselves in spirit crystals, and elves basically become spirits while they are in uthenera.  It is even possible that Geldauran lost his memory of who he was during the ages he was in captivity, as happened with the arcane warrior elf in the spirit crystal.  

But I digress, and could write a whole different post about whether the Forgotten Ones were spirits or elves, and I probably will some day.  But today is not that day.  Any of you who are still reading have been very patient, so let’s wrap this up.  

Whether Geldauran was a spirit or an elf, the Avvar communicated their belief that he was their god Hakkon, and Geldauran seems to have come to believe it himself.  He rises from the Old Temple to challenge the modern Inquisitor to single combat and the dragon is killed. 

So there you have it, Nony.  Not crazy at all.  There is very compelling evidence that Hakkon is actually Geldauran.  Now whether Geldauran is the Sinner...well, like I said in the summary, there just isn’t enough information about the Sinner to draw from.  Is it possible the Sinner was related to the Forgotten Ones?  Sure. Clearly, there was some drama going down in the pantheon when the Sinner took the dragon form of the divine, but what it all means is pure speculation at this point.  There is so much dragon imagery associated with Hakkon, Geldauran, and the Sinner, that it is possible they are all related or even the same being, but they may also just be pieces in a bigger puzzle.  

And, I suspect, that story will explain many of the mysteries of the Dragon Age.

Thanks for reading!

-MM

I’ve never done this before, but here goes. :) I’ve found some possible evidence of the Old Gods and the Forgotten Ones being linked. We know that the Evanuris were spirits, or something akin to that. According to the wiki: ‘Solas, who is actually revealed to be Fen'Harel, states that the ancient elven gods were not really deities as the Maker is perceived, but rather very powerful beings. Whether they were mages or spirits or something else entirely unencountered and forgotten, Solas says they have a deep and powerful connection to the Fade, where they dwelled and spoke to the elves through various rituals performed in certain locations.’ We also know that the Forgotten Ones were the enemies of the Evanuris, the other side of the coin: ‘Where the Creators are gods of justice, knowledge and craft, who seek to guide and protect the elven people, the Forgotten Ones are a dark mirror presiding over the worst aspects of existence: disease, terror, spite and malevolence. [4]They serve not as shepherds of the elves, but rather as figures of fear and dread.’ Some theories go so far as to claim the Forgotten Ones couldn’t create, but I haven’t found any official proof of this, though I believe it. So, if the Creators were spirits, the Forgotten Ones were demons. Makes sense. It also strengthens the idea that the Forbidden Ones, demons, could be a part of this pantheon. Despite the popular belief that there are 8 Creators and 8 Forgotten Ones (with Solas as #9 in both pantheons), that’s unconfirmed. In fact, the wiki opposes this idea. ‘Legend suggests the Forgotten Ones were many, but even the names of most of them have been largely lost to time, making their title exceedingly appropriate.’ We have the names of 3 Forgotten and 4 Forbidden Ones. So, if my theory is correct, that puts us at 7 (discounting Solas for now). Forgotten:  Anaris (according to an old tale he was once tricked by Fen'Harel while duelling the Great Hunter Andruil[10])  Geldauran  Daern'thal Forbidden:  Gaxkang  Imshael  The Formless One  Xebenkeck There’s a codex entry called Geldauran’s Claim that goes like this: ‘The script is an ancient elven dialect. Upon further observation, it twists, the words becoming visible: There are no gods. There is only the subject and the object, the actor and the acted upon. Those with will to earn dominance over others gain title not by nature but by deed. I am Geldauran, and I refuse those who would exert will upon me. Let Andruil's bow crack, let June's fire grow cold. Let them build temples and lure the faithful with promises. Their pride will consume them, and I, forgotten, will claim power of my own, apart from them until I strike in mastery.’ So, he’s planning to strike back. We’ve been discussing Solas’s role in these pantheons for a while now and I think I know the answer, though I have no official proof of this. I reckon Solas was a demon, who chose to be a spirit, like Cole. That’s why he was OK in both pantheons and why he could banish both. He probably didn’t feel a particular alliance with either, but just wanted to help, like Cole. He *does* do a lot of helping throughout history, from freeing slaves to helping Andraste and the Inquisiton. Now, Mythal and Yavana were trying to SAVE the Old Gods. Also, if the Old Gods can be counted among the Forgotten Ones – folks who already hated the Evanuris before Solas banished them – they become instant allies to Mythal. It would also back the idea that she *needs* Solas to bring down the Veil, because it would free the Evanuris so the remaining Old Gods/Forgotten Ones can ‘shake the very heavens’ when they attack the Evanuris. And, knowing Mythal has knowledge of how to find the Void via Andruil (she absorbed Andruil's power), she can probably let the rest of the Forgotten Ones out once the problem of the Veil is solved. In fact, she might even be saving and raising dragons through Yavana so the Forgotten Ones have vessels to possess. This is just me, I have no proof on this account. I happened upon this codex entry from the Well of Sorrows: ‘This elven writing found in the Arbor Wilds is so old there seems to be no way to learn what it means. There are whispers from the Well of Sorrows. It's impossible to understand the entire text, but certain parts suddenly reveal a shadow of their original meaning. "His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine. The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him." For one moment there is an image of a shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes, whose form may be one or many. Then it fades.’ He ‘dared to fly in the shape of the divine’. I believe this means one of the Forgotten Ones tried to mimic the shape the Evanuris could shift into, dragon. I know the codex says the sinner was one of Dirthamen’s followers, but there’s a story from his wiki page that could support this: ‘In Dalish stories Dirthamen and his twin brother Falon'Din are the eldest children of Elgar'nan and Mythal. Dirthamen gave to elves the gift of knowledge and taught them loyalty and faith in family.[1] Legends tell that the twins were inseparable spirits from birth to adulthood. They were parted when Falon'Din ventured beyond the Veil, to a place where his brother could not easily follow. Dirthamen wandered the grey paths of the Fade until he found and outmastered two ravens, Fear and Deceit. The ravens took him to Falon'Din, and the twins swore to never be parted again.’ Fear and Deceit sound like demon names, right? Dirthamen outsmarted them and they helped him find Falon’Din. That’s why I think they might have become his servants. We also know the Evanuris were power hungry from what Solas says, so Dirthamen might even knowingly have forced Fear or Deceit to take on the dragon form, so he could grow his own power or create a new weapon against the others. Like the Forgotten Ones, the Old Gods aren’t creators. ‘The true nature of the Old Gods is unknown. The Old Gods are not creators and even the people of ancient Tevinter attributed the creation of the world to the Maker, although by a different name.’ The Maker, by the way, might very well turn out to be this ‘Formless One’ who is a member of the Forbidden Ones. But that’s just a personal inkling. 😛 Additionally, none of the Old Gods have positive attributes. Their domains are fire, slavery, chaos, mystery and night. OK, Urthemiel’s beauty isn’t inherently good or evil, and the same can be said of Dumat’s silence. But then, Imshael’s choice falls in the same category, neither good nor evil, but rather twisted to what he wants it to be. So, this doesn’t sway me from this theory. 🙂 In fact, it could even be that the seven Old Gods are the twisted counterparts of the Evanuris. Elgar’nan had a quick temper and is said to have fought with fire, lightning and thunder. All the tales about him end in anger and violence, except where Mythal was able to calm him down. What if Dumat’s silence is a mockery of Elgar’nan’s tempestuous nature? Almost like indifference. And Urthemiel’s beauty could very well be a mockery of Ghilan’nain being trapped inside a halla. In fact, his constellation Bellitanus, is of a maiden, even if Urthemiel is male. This could be a coincidence, but it supports my theory so I’m keeping it. The same kinds of distortions can connect the other Evanuris and Old Gods. Then, the number thing. As I mentioned earlier, we know of 7 Forgotten Ones. Discounting Solas and Mythal, who has been out of play, we have 7 sealed Evanuris. Add the 7 Old Gods and we have a double ratio of Forgotten Ones to Evanuris. 7 is a sacred number in the Jewish faith, which is interesting, considering the developers based the elves on Jews. ‘The initial inspiration for the Dragon Age elves came from the Jewish people (lost homeland, ghettos).’ As a last point, the Gaider himself made this connection. ‘David Gaider hinted that the Old Gods could have been based on the elven gods or the Forgotten Ones, and that the second group had more reasons for that.[1]’

Alien Abduction and Folklore

Yes!  There IS a Connection!

NOTE: Illustrations and gifs do not belong to me.

Just when you thought I couldn't get any weirder, one of my biggest childhood fears was not thunder, bees, or even the dark.  I was legitimately terrified of being abducted by aliens.  While I definitely get my love of mysteries from my mother, my fascination with the supernatural comes from my father.  I have memories going back as far as age four of watching Unsolved Mysteries, Sightings, and In Search Of with Leonard Nimoy telling me all about Bigfoot.  The stories that kept me up at night were alleged testimonials of people going up into a spaceship and being examined by extra-terrestrial beings.  

But for how long have people been telling these stories?  Longer than you think, actually.  At first, I wanted to write about how aliens have been portrayed in pop culture over time, but my research led me in a different direction.  I don't necessarily subscribe to what we're about to delve into, but I think it's thought-provoking enough for discussion.  This is a primal fear for me, but writing about what we fear is a challenge, and I do love a challenge.

NOTE: This isn't a meta about aliens in general, and I will be calling them aliens throughout.  This meta focuses on stories of abduction.

Lovable Gnome, My Ass

Elves: Step 1:  Steal underpants. Step 2:.......  Step 3: PROFIT!

Think about what you know on the subject of fairies so I can hurry up and disprove all of it.  For one thing, for being called “fairy tales,” fairies aren't in too many of the stories collected by the Brothers Grimm.  In European oral tradition, fairies are small, human-like creatures with magical powers that dwelt in the woods, most commonly seen around twilight. Already sounding a little other-worldly to you?

“Little people who come out at night. So what?”

Take a look at the above artwork. Fairies weren't depicted with wings until about Victorian times, and before that, in Orkney, they were described as being small and clad in gray.  Even now, fairies are still portrayed as small and long-limbed with large eyes.  And these were not the kindly wish-granters of Charles Perrault's “Cinderella.”  These things messed with you.

“Tam Lin” is one of those not-kid-friendly fairy tales you won't see being adapted into a family film any time soon.  It is about a woman who meets and falls for an “elf” in the woods, the eponymous Tam Lin who not only impregnates her, but informs her that he used to be a human.  He was just out one day when the Queen of the Fairies abducted him.  The rest of the story centers around how they will save him from the fairies before they tithe him to hell.

Tam Lin: (singing) While strolling through the woods one day/in the merry merry month of May/She’ll be taken by surprise/And I’ll face my demise/a really creepy love story starts today!

When it comes to virtually any other supernatural encounter, it is usually the supernatural creature coming down to the human's home court.  God sends his angels to people to communicate with them, for example.  When the supernatural creature takes you to its habitat, it usually means trouble.

So what would happen when a person saw a fairy?  If a traveler didn't make it to an inn by nightfall, they would often see lights floating around first.  Known as will-o'-the-wisps, these lights would lead travelers astray.  And this isn't just an English thing.  Sightings of mysterious floating lights in forests and marshes exist in Japan, Australia, and South America as well.  

So now you're lost in the woods because you followed the bright, shiny thing.  You are no smarter than a moth flying into a bug zapper.  What punishment awaits you?  Well, none just yet.  It's a little unsettling being lost in the woods at night, but you hear some faint music, so there must be a camp nearby, right?

Oh, you poor soul.  Turn back now.

You suddenly see little people dancing around in a circle, and the melody is pretty catchy.  The term “fairy ring” usually means a circle of mushrooms or other fungi.  These occur naturally, but ancient people believed they were more or less portals—gateways between our world and the world of the fairies, elves, goblins, pixies, sprites, Sidhe...whatever you want to call them.

The horror.  The horror...

If a fairy saw you, a variety of things could happen.  One is a “fairy stroke,” in which you are paralyzed or given a disease of some kind.  In Ireland, there were tons of remedies and prayers on how to come away from this alive. But they would have smacked their foreheads first because you should have known not to go near a fairy ring.  If you step into the fairy ring, you might start dancing with the fairies until you drop from exhaustion.  You could also be sucked into their world as it is a portal, after all.  Or you might just die young.

“What does all of this have to do with alien abduction?”

Well, it seems that fairies really get their kicks from abducting people.  Think about it.  It's night, you're alone, and then a glowing, big-eyed creature first paralyzes you and then takes you with them somewhere?  I shouldn't have to go into the number of stories where time works differently in other worlds, where maybe years pass where you are but when you go back it's only been a few minutes, etc.  You could spend a couple of minutes in the fairies' realm only to find out that several years have passed in our world.  Those who study UFOs would call that “missing time.”  

It all must come down to what people believed fairies actually were.  The most popular belief was that they were fallen angels who now wanted to prey upon humans.  

The forest was always a scary place for people, but once you throw fallen angels into the mix, all bets are off.  If you live in a world where stepping inside a circle of mushrooms is bad news, it's not a stretch to believe that fallen angels can also just come right into your home.  Legends of the incubus/succubus were popular at this time, too, demons that sat on your chest while you were sleeping, had sex with you (while you were sleeping), and took your, um, essence around with them, impregnating whoever they wanted.  Keep in mind also that “brownies” were little people who lived in your house and sometimes helped you, sometimes made mischief for you, depending on their mood.  

“But these are just Irish and Welsh weirdos going around saying all these things.”

Oh, we're playing that game, are we? The Ojibwe and Wampanoag had Pukwudgies, little people who lived in the woods and caused trouble.  The Maori had Patupaiarehe, Hawaiians had Menehune, and the ancient Basques (parts of modern-day Spain and France) had Laminak, little people who are also kind of mermaids. Stories of little people living out in the woods who have their own world, parallel one or not, are all over the world and almost every culture says they are not above kidnapping children.

Changeling, Mister?  Got any Changeling?

This nightmare fuel brought to you by Black Pot!  The only pot willing to call the kettle black!

That's right, folks.  Sometimes the fairies liked your baby so much they would steal it and leave one of their kind in its place.  Because fair is fair.  

Infant mortality was a much bigger part of life than it is for most of us now, the percentages being anywhere from 30 to 50% in the Middle Ages, and since there was so little information available to people on how to get your kids to survive, people would blame sudden changes in behavior and/or appearance on fairies.  Your kid has started crying a lot?  Changeling.  Your kid is nursing constantly but never gets full?  Changeling.  Your kid's ears are a little big, possibly pointy and they can just think people into the cartoon world like in The Twilight  Zone Movie? Well, okay, that's probably a legitimate malevolent entity. 

So these poor babies that in our time would have just been labeled ugly or difficult are now responsible for the entire family's misfortunes. At least Native American cultures were a little nicer in that the little people only took kids who were being abused or had already been abandoned.  

“Why do they steal babies?”

I could give you the Mount Everest answer: because it's there, but reasons vary.  Sometimes fairies really like that infant blood. Sometimes their own kids need human breast milk to survive.  Maybe they just have it out for a certain family.  Or maybe they just really like human babies and don't understand that taking one to have for yourself is wrong, the Raising Arizona Defense.

Gotta Go Back in Time

Alien abduction seems to be one of the last remaining supernatural stories that elicits a substantial amount of fear.  We're a little too quick to dismiss someone's claims of being abducted, our main argument being that it's just ridiculous.  However, the more we find out about space, the more we find out we are not the center of the universe and there are a ton of things out there beyond our full comprehension. The big question isn't “does life exist on other planets” but “do those life forms come here?”  

The urban legend is the modern folktale, a cautionary tale mostly spread orally (or via internet) where the narrative didn't happen to you or to anyone you know, but it could happen to a friend of a friend, and that's scary enough.  That's sort of what alien abduction tales are.  If you yourself believe you've been abducted, I apologize, but odds are, you don't personally know anyone making these claims.  You have a wide variety of people from different backgrounds kind of saying the same thing, but....it's ridiculous.  And God knows the ridiculous never happens in real life, right?  Right???  I mean, no one credible has ever reported seeing a UFO, right???

Shen Kuo did.  In 1053 AD.

Shen Kuo: ...so there I was, minding my own business, when out of nowhere, this army of what looked like the walking dead started advancing on me, arms and legs bent in unnatural positions, their breathing much more focused than normal. And they were so old!  So old!  (starts rocking back and forth)

Shen Kuo was a little bit of everything—astronomer, archaeologist, cartographer, botanist, and Ancient China's “Sexiest Man Alive” for three years in a row.  He was one of the first to write about climate change, petrified plants and animals, lunar and solar eclipses, and why lightning can melt metal but not thatched roofs.  He also wrote about a glowing ball, similar to a pearl, in the sky, illuminating the forest in red.  I'm paraphrasing here, but he talks about a door opening up on it, creating a light too blinding for anyone to see, and then the object taking off.  

Now, true, this is not an account of abduction, but stay with me here.  I'm establishing that UFO sightings are not just a product of some twentieth century zeitgeist.  People in Hamburg, Germany reported seeing two glowing “wheels” in the sky in 1697. Tennessee College has a UFO sighting dated all the way back to 1853, and in 1865, a trapper named James Lumley was out in the Montana woods when he saw a glowing light in the sky that suddenly broke apart into “particles.”  This was accompanied with a rushing wind that reminded him of a tornado, taking up hilltops and uprooting trees, leaving dark stains in the ground.

Just for the sake of brevity, I'm only going to talk in detail about one alleged alien abduction, but it was one of the first, and it's widely regarded as one of the most credible.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is the horror story of Betty and Barney Hill:

“What's the dog's name?”

I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO ASK THAT! It's Delsey.

“Thank you for fact-checking.”

A little bit of background.  These two lived in New Hampshire, he, a US postal worker, she, a social worker. They were Unitarian church members, active in the NAACP, and both were seen as sensible, practical people in their community, neither one much interested in science fiction.  I guess if I were abducted, I wouldn't be credible.

Anyway, the Hills were driving home from a vacation late at night, dismissing a white light that seemed to be following them as a plane.  They stopped to let the dog (Delsey.  See?  It's a plot point!) out to stretch her legs.  Betty walked the dog while Barney—skeptical, but maybe a little paranoid—whipped out his binoculars to see if he could spot the light.  He described what happened next as feeling an urge to leave the car, even though Betty was no idiot and knew anyone walking along a highway in the middle of the night was going to be either hit or kidnapped by hillbillies.  He followed the light and murmured something like, “I don't believe this,” which was quickly followed by, “They're going to capture us!”

Proving he was in fact, also not an idiot, he ran back to his car and the two took off, followed by the light and strange beeping they both compared to that of a microwave oven when your Mac & Cheese is done.  Then everything went back to normal.

Or so they thought.

“Oh, I HATE 'Or so they thought!'”

The next day, they noticed some car trouble.  Patches of paint had been taken off their car, revealing bare metal.  Magnetized metal.  They reported this to Pease Air Force Base (now closed) and decided to consider the possibility they had seen a UFO.  Keep in mind these two do not have a history of prank-pulling or wacky LSD parties.  Barney was also having severe back pain and saw that his shoes were scuffed up, like he'd been dragged in them.  Betty was having nightmares of creatures with “large, cat-like eyes” kidnapping her.  And neither one could account for the two hours between stopping their car and getting home.  

They sought medical help and it was finally suggested they undergo regression (read: hypnosis) to find out what the hell happened to them.  It's pretty much the classic abduction tale—rendered semi-conscious, forced into a spaceship, poked and prodded.  Tortuously.  I won't go into details, but the physical exam they both underwent involved needles, suction, and screaming.  Betty even reported asking if she could take the aliens' book with her as proof, but she was denied.  

They were put under separately, but most of the details in their stories matched.  They were taken by small, whitish-gray skinned beings with large, feline eyes.  For the rest of their lives, the Hills insisted they were telling the truth, Betty even able to draw a star map of Zeta Reticuli, years before it was discovered.  

So I'll be super fair here and point out what skeptics often do about this case:

1. The Hills' description of the aliens matches the first mainstream portrayal of the “Greys” on television, an episode of The Outer Limits that aired twelve days before their crazy car ride

2. The Hills' accounts of what happened to them don't match as well as they should, and details have changed over time

3. In later years, Betty Hill confused street lights with UFOs at conventions, severely lowering her credibility

4. Famed astronomer Carl Sagan himself said that Betty Hill's star map was too imprecise to be anything, much less Zeta Reticuli

Look, I'm not going to give credence to or discredit individuals who claim to have been abducted.  What I'm pointing out are the similarities to these far more ancient stories we've been talking about—the floating lights, the missing time, the sudden onslaught of medical issues.  Even if the Hills stole the alien description from a TV show, this was the first decade of the Greys, the small, skinny, gray-skinned bald aliens with huge black eyes, and that alone is significant from a pop culture standpoint. Prior to this, aliens—Martians, most of the time—were purported to be small, but also green and clearly male.

Both the Greys and fairies have large eyes, pale skin, sort of an asexual look, and are known to fly, go through walls, appear in your dreams, and lead you away from the world as you know it.  

Abduction Lit 101

HG Wells drew “teapot,” “tentacles,” and “Pinocchio” out of a hat and a dark, dark tale was born.

In 1895, HG Wells published an essay called “Man of the Year Million,” his own idea of what humanity would be like in the year 1,000,000 AD. He predicted we would have less in common with apes and develop smoother lines, a larger brain, and a smaller body.  We all basically take the form of the heads on Futurama, kept in a dome surrounded by a liquid that provides us nutrients. With such large brains, we wouldn't need bodies that much, so they would shrivel up.  In short, we would become the grotesque aliens of our nightmares.

Wells was fascinated by the evolution of man and if the distinct class differences in Victorian times would lead to sort of a disparity in evolution where some evolved and some devolved.  His novel The War of the Worlds parallels Colonialism, and his creation of the Morlocks in The Time Machine strikes some similarities with his mother, who was a servant that spent most of her time underground.

But perhaps the first story to really explore the idea of aliens taking people anywhere belongs to HP Lovecraft.  “The Whisperer in Darkness”was written in 1930 and is one of his many sleep-depriving short stories that starts out with a man ridiculing those who believe an area in Vermont is populated by the little people of old.  Those damned floating lights again...  He is in correspondence with another man who has been in contact with people who claim they are agents of an alien race.  Skeptical of them at first, this second man soon has an abrupt change of mind and invites the main character out to see firsthand.  The two have a conversation in a dark room where the second man seems to be sitting in a chair.  There are some whispers in darkness(!) and without spoiling anything, the guy steals a car to get the hell out of Dodge, believing a grotesque fate awaited him had he stayed.  

While the story very much is about aliens playing Operation with humans, a number of the tropes surrounding alien abduction aren't there, primarily the body horror that is said to go on when the aliens experiment on a person.   Robert Heinlein played with alien invasion and alien possession in 1953's The Puppet Masters that, along with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, is more about fighting communism than anything else, but then Whitley Strieber came along. Strieber started out as a novelist, writing The Wolfen and The Hunger among others, but it was his non-fiction book Communion that put him on the map.  

Christopher Walken in a UFO movie?  Yes.  This feels right.

Whitley Strieber claims he was abducted by aliens on December 26, 1985.  He calls the Greys “visitors” and describes in vivid detail how he saw a figure in his bedroom and lost several weeks of memories, given “screen memories” instead—visions of owls, rabbits, and deer (forest imagery.  Tuck that away) that he knew weren't real.  Under hypnosis, he recalled being taken from his bedroom through the woods to a spaceship where there was at least one robot and at least one stocky humanoid alien, but the rest were Greys, or “visitors” in the book.  He underwent an extensive medical exam similar to other abductee claims, but this is where the notorious “anal probe” thing came from.  

Strieber describes a moist, dusky scent, like being underground and says aliens smell like cinnamon.  Again, a lot of forest imagery for being up in space.  To his credit, he doesn't really speculate much on why the Visitors are here or what the purpose of the physical examinations could be.  He even chose the name Visitors in hopes of keeping things as neutral as possible, keeping in mind he didn't know if these were hallucinations or not.  Strieber still writes both fiction and non-fiction to this day, but he gets pretty upset if you categorize Communion as fiction.  Oh, and if you buy into the idea that he has temporal lobe epilepsy, you're wrong.  He has been tested for it many times and his brain is working just fine.

And Film Responds

In 1972, J. Allen Hynek came up with a classification of UFO sightings.  

The First Kind: visual sighting of a UFO

The Second Kind: sighting of a UFO with a physical effect, like physical impressions in the ground

The Third Kind: sighting of a living being/occupant of the UFO; also known as “first contact”

The Fourth Kind: (added on by Ted Bloecher) alien abduction

The Fifth Kind: direct communication between humans and aliens

The Sixth Kind: death of a human or animal associated with a UFO sighting (spaceship uproots a tree and it falls on you)

The Seventh Kind: the creation of a human/alien hybrid

The Eighth Kind: a sequence of the above kinds for a particular individual

You might be most familiar with the Third Kind as there is the classic Steven Spielberg movie named after it, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.  While it premiered in 1977 alongside Star Wars, both sci-fi movies couldn't be more different.  Star Wars is actually closer to fantasy than most science fiction films and while by now you can get anything out of the franchise that you want, its primary function was to be fun family entertainment.  Close Encounters, however, exists in our world and has to do with our world's reactions.  The aliens are not seen until the end (and yes, they are the Greys), and it's very unclear what their nature is.  They seem to be well-meaning, but they are technically brainwashing people into wanting to go with them.  It's a mysterious, haunting movie that asks a lot of questions and doesn't necessarily answer all of them.

Alien Abduction provided us with a slew of supernatural TV shows in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, everything from Dark Skies, to The Outer Limits (long-running, ain't it?), and The X Files. In almost every incarnation, the aliens are hostile to humans, but in an ambivalent sort of way, giving us new technology and graciously not outright taking us over, but they're doing experiments on us and I guess what you would call anomalies in humanity are explained with alien possession.  Charles Manson, for example is an alien on Dark Skies.  I mean, thank goodness ET: The Extra-Terrestrial balanced things out in that it had a sympathetic alien who befriends children and the government tracking him down being the antagonist.  

Like I said, I grew up in the late 80s and 90s in which unsolved mysteries equated to prime-time entertainment, giving me a dose of darkness after Full House, I suppose.  Things that really happen but didn't seem to have much rhyme or reason to them evolved into reality TV where, to the surprise of no one, things happen that don't seem to have much rhyme or reason to them.  “It's unscripted!  I swear!  We didn't make this up for the sake of ratings!”

We were really set in what was happening in our world in the here and now.  Comic books and comic book-based movies were outrageously stupid, Friends ridiculed anyone who had read The Lord of the Rings in spite of the fact that even then it was considered a classic, and pop culture seemed to be dictating that the best form of escapism is no longer exploring other worlds/dimensions, but to just point out how much smarter you are than the people you're watching on Maury, Big Brother, The Jersey Shore, etc.

But things have a way of coming full circle.  Those who grew up with the dark, gritty fantasy movies of the late 70s and 80s had grown up and wanted a little more...oomph in their entertainment.  Thinking of other worlds and who would inhabit those worlds fuels the imagination.  It can be wondrous and whimsical, or it can be downright terrifying, and since M. Night Shyamalan is quoted for saying that he can turn even something like Pokemon into a symbolic epic, he took on the alien mythos with the 2002 movie Signs.

I'm not going to lie—Signs has a really good first third/half that seems to be building onto something, but it never delivers because these are the stupidest, worst-conceived aliens ever, but compared to a lot of the crap we were being fed in the early 2000s, this was an intelligent, psychological thriller that took science fiction elements and made us question our own philosophies.  Ooh, remember when we all thought Shyamalan's use of the color red in The Sixth Sense was profound?  Innocent times, then.

It has some legitimate scares and it thrives off of creating suspense in a Hitchcockian sort of way, but it ends up being just too silly with a lot of plot holes and a rushed climax.  However, it brought aliens back into the public eye.  Crop circles had gone out of fashion back in the 70s, but maybe there was something to all of that, hmm?  Maybe these farm yokels who talk candidly about being probed in the anus aren't just looking for attention, hmm?  

“But there is no abduction in this movie.”

There is talk of it at the end, and that one alien does try to take the boy, but you're right.  We were still trying too hard to not be afraid of being abducted.  An adult openly talking about being afraid of being abducted by aliens would be like an adult saying they're afraid to watch Scooby-Doo.  David Icke, Jim Mars, and their ilk have been laughed at for their ideas and now can only write to a niche market that believes in these kinds of things and just aren't interested in a scientific, objective investigation.  In fact, maybe Signs is just picked apart more than your average horror/sci-fi movie because we want to poke holes in something like alien abduction.  You see all kinds of reviews for this movie pointing out the problems with it, but no one has really dissected Halloween in this way.  Michael Myers can survive all he does because he's simply a demon/ghost rather than a person, the original script referring to him as “the Shape.”  We accept other “ridiculous” elements and tropes in other horror movies because we have accepted that they need to be there.  But when it comes to aliens, suddenly everything has to make total sense and everything has to be explained in just the right way so we feel neither stupid nor baffled at any time.

A 2014 movie simply called Alien Abduction fares a little better with treating aliens like a legitimate threat, and yes, there is abduction.  Lots and lots of abduction.

Looks like Duck Dynasty’s getting cancelled.

It's one of those “found footage” films, so whether that makes it more suspenseful or not depends on how you feel about that genre, and I did find it weird that the character holding the camera is the family's youngest child.  In any other movie, this would be the person most likely to freak out, but the movie explains this away with young Riley being autistic who uses his camera to help him make sense of the world around him.  I can't decide if that's clever or insulting, but the plot is that Riley, his mom, dad, big brother, and big sister are going on a camping trip to an area in North Carolina that supposedly has a lot of sightings of glowing lights and disappearances.  But it's totally going to be okay this time.

These aliens are smart, and it helps we rarely see them.  First, they purposely mess with things like GPS and cell phone signals so you are even more isolated than ever.  Yeah, you could get away with a character's phone not working in a remote forested mountain, but it's a little better when it's implied something tampered with your phone.  The movie has a less-is-more approach to scares, like one time a bunch of dead crows just start raining down.  We don't really know why.  Maybe they hit an invisible spaceship.  Maybe there is some kind of exhaust coming out of the ship that kills them. We don't know, and that puts us right with the family, as they don't know, either.  Hell, we don't even know if this family is being specifically targeted, or if they're just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Insert your own “wrong place at wrong time” joke

North Carolina's Brown Mountain Lights are a real phenomenon and sightings of them date back as far as 1913, so this was some really good source material. It's not a perfect movie, and the whole “found footage” thing is a little out of vogue now, but when it's done well, it can be really, really effective. We don't have to see any horrors associated with the abduction; it's scarier to not know what will happen once aboard the ship. It's the aliens' pursuit of the family that is scary, and the relatively less frightening part where you're “beamed” up into their ship actually looks pretty excruciating here as it looks like their tractor beam breaks a lot of your bones to get you up there. The movie begins and ends with the same shot of a camera falling to earth, so please expect a downer ending to this one.

It also connects perfectly to what we were discussing with the fair folk and their methods. It's not that these creatures exist that scares us. It's that we know so little about their nature. Fairies can like you or dislike you at the drop of a hat. They are so alien to us that anything we know about what offends them is just guesswork. How do we really learn anything about them? Trial and error. “I laid my baby on its side and put a brown wig on him, but the fairies still took him.”

The same is true for aliens. I mean, what have we really learned here?

“That you can write an entire episode of Ancient Aliens by yourself?”

Well, thanks, but we don't know anything about the Greys, even after researching UFOs and reading about eye witness accounts. If we can't understand our enemy, there is no hope in defeating them. Are they an enemy? It seems that way since they are beaming people up and experimenting on them, arguably raping them since there are people out there who claim to have seen their cross-species child (for a safer example of what a human/Grey hybrid can look like, just look at Renesmee in the Twilight movies. Uncanny valley at its worst). The alien mythos has survived because we're not able to debunk things about quite the same way as we can with something like ghosts. Ghost stories survive because of the sheer number of them, not because we can't explain a lot of things people mistook for ghosts in the past, and every ghost story/vision is a little different). But with aliens, we can dismiss the eye witness testimony and we can analyze photos, but to use a little bit of science here, you technically can't prove something doesn't exist. “In order to disprove the assertion that all crows are black, one white crow is sufficient.” You can comb the universe looking for life and not find it, but all I need is one alien to invalidate you.

Random Thought Blog #5: The Mirror of Transformation!  The Makeover of a Mystery

Reviewing our posts (1, 2, 3) about eluvians the other day made me think about the lack of eluvians in DA2 other than Merrill’s troublesome mirror.  “Well,” thought I, “there is Xenon’s weird mirror, but that is just a courtesy to the fans and doesn’t really fit in the lore......wait a minute!  What if it is a really modded eluvian?”

Xenon the Antiquarian is an interesting fellow.  He is not a mage, but his money and long life have brought an untold number of enchanters and mages into his sphere of influence.  He even says that a magister miniaturized Chauncey for him.  In his centuries long search for amazing and magical artifacts, Xenon certainly would have encountered eluvians.  It also appears likely that his agents not only have figured out that these mirrors have magical properties, but have likely made use of the eluvian network.  (More on this in a minute.  Right now let’s set the stage...)

Xenon is always looking for ways to regain his youth and the eluvians probably presented a tantalizing option.  All he had to do was figure out the best way to harness and enhance their power.  We know there are spells that can change a person’s appearance as Wilhelm used magic twice to confirm that Maric was not a magical imposter.  That is a very specific fear to have and, given that shapeshifters like Morrigan exist, it certainly stands to reason that there is a human version as well.  Such an ability would almost certainly be a form of blood magic.  If such a spell was turned into an enchantment and was combined with what looks like a red lyrium enhancement, it might put Xenon on the right track to create the Mirror of Transformation.  

We know the eluvians allowed the ancient elves to travel and communicate great distances in a relatively short amount of time, using levels of connection to the Fade to facilitate the trip.  A connection to the Fade is embedded into every eluvian, so much so that when Merrill creates her mirror, it appears in the crossroads in spite of how little she knew about how they worked.  (That makes me wonder if the demon that taught her how to cleanse the mirror was actually trapped in a crossroads like place rather than just in the statue on Sundermount.  Sundermount, after all, is pretty connected to the Fade itself.  Even its name...Sunder.  Asunder.  Hmmmm.  Sounds like something to investigate at another time.)  So where does that leave the Mirror of Transformation?  

The Fade is the stuff of creation.  Thoughts and ideas can create a new reality, reshaping the unchanging world to reflect the will of the one who summons its power.  Xenon would have a vested interest in harnessing that power in order to reshape his flesh into a younger body.  So far, he doesn’t seem to have had much success.  The mirror doesn’t change your age, only your appearance, but he still seems to be working at it.  In DA2 his mirror looks like it has been modified with red lyrium, perhaps as a source of power.  Lyrium bridges the gap between the waking world and the Fade, so enchantments are literally imbuing objects with a connection to the realm of spirits.  And Xenon’s mirror is covered with the stuff!  It seems probable that the lyrium was meant to enhance the mirror’s transformative powers.  

Now here is where things get really weird.  The mirror we use in DA2 disappears sometime between 9:37 and 9:41, and is replaced with a shiny new version.  Perhaps the new mirror indicates that he somehow ‘broke’ the old one.  There are even baskets of red lyrium in the shop that might eventually be attached to the new mirror.  (Or Xenon got rid of the old mirror because the red lyrium tainted the mirror and he is just keeping the pieces to sell to people who are unknowing of how dangerous it is, or know but still use it (like the Inquisitor).  

Now...you might say that the developers simply used this eluvian so that they wouldn’t have to recreate the model for Merrill’s mirror...except, as you saw in the third image for this post that they did remake the mirror from DA2 for Inquisition (which is suggestive in and of itself.  The mirror is in a part of the crossroads that you can’t even see without using the flycam.  Why go to all the trouble of creating it when it was never used?  Was it originally for a cameo or a scrapped plotline?  Or is it for use in the future....).  So they could have used that mirror in the Emporium for Inquisition, but they chose not to.  There is also evidence that Xenon is taking his efforts to regain his youth to the next level...of the Fade, anyway.  

Accessing the Black Emporium sounds like it is a pretty complicated process, given that a Seeker could spend six months looking for it and not find it.  The shop wouldn’t, of course, actually be in the Fade, but Xenon may have found a way into a wedge it into a crossroads-like area.  He certainly seems to have access to Fade manipulated and Fade hidden objects.  How likely is it that Xenon’s people would just come across the Apples of Arlathan in a ruin and that they would still be in perfect condition?  And how is it that we can view Andraste in Nude Repose when it’s codex entry says that:

“Enchanters were tasked with extending the ethereal that hides the Fade, drawing it around the form like a cloak. Our Lady remains in the stone and in this world, but mortal eyes are forever denied her treasure and glory. She is veiled in every sense.”

The statue is veiled by the Fade!  Even The Basket of Lost Socks and The Emergent Compendium make a lot more sense when a Fade connection is applied to the reading of their codices.  So it seems likely that Xenon knows the true purpose of the eluvians, and has deliberately modified the two in the Black Emporium to serve his purpose of trying to recover his lost youth.  He also seems to have used them in order to gain access to what may be the ultimate repository for arcane knowledge: The Vir Dirthara!

What in the Void is a shield that Xenon values enough to stamp with his name and insist that it should be returned to him doing in the Vir Dirthara?  How long has it been there and who took it there?  Whatever the answers to those questions are, the presence of the Best Defense in the Shattered Library suggests that Xenon’s agents were in the library.  It seems clear to me that Xenon is work on getting access to ancient elven knowledge, perhaps even the Fade itself.  He is likely already connected to the Fade in some way, due to his bargain with the Antivan Witch of the Wilds, but he might need to take that connection even farther.  He has a great start, save for losing his property in the Vir Dirthara.

Honestly, I am starting to suspect that Xenon is actually dead, but Yavana or a former Witch of the Weyrs ‘pinned’ his spirit to his flesh, which would grant him eternal life of a sort, but not eternal youth.  He has unknowingly been fighting to keep his decaying corpse from rotting away while looking for a way to regain his youth.  He could also be attached to the Fade in some uthenera like way, but the connection to the Fade is incomplete or weak due to Xenon not being a mage or perhaps a strong connection is not possible anymore due to the Veil.  Does he even need to eat anymore?!  Could the extra limbs he seems to have mean that he tried to trade bodies at some point in the past?!  So many possibilities!

We might get some new info on Xenon soon since the cover the next Dragon Age comic series features the statuesque form of former Knight-Commander Meredith and we know she is in the Black Emporium as of the start of Inquisition.

Whatever we learn, it should be interesting....