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so-this-is-hell · 4 months

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Ok I watched the leaked episodes

Let’s start with the positives! I love positives!

- Alex Brightman put his whole Alexussy into this shit oh my god, Pentious and Adam actually sound really good. Adam singing is also really really good. Alex can sing in character and carry things well and I’m glad now he’s part of the project. Because at least it’ll be bearable if I see the other episodes.

-Vox is actually weirdly really compelling? Like I actually ended up enjoying the vibe he’s got and his own voice grew on me, I know it’s not what people wanted but it works well.

-Nifty’s voice is pretty ok, so is Charlie’s. They’re some of the better voices of the cast, Alastor’s performance was uh. It wasn’t bad so there’s that!

-the opening exposition was needed but also a bit hamfisted- wait shit the positives- uh, I love the direction it went? Art wise?

-the songs are pretty good, they get you from point A to point B, and at least wasn’t Poison levels of cringe in writing.

-Charlie actually helping Pentious in episode 2 try to repent and be a better person actually feels nice, like a crumb of what the show should of be-

…

Ok let’s get to the point.

-the episodes clearly are trying to shove as much of the plot as humanly possible, to the point that you get whiplash.

-Angel Dust, Vaggie, Valentino, Husk all have voices that either do not fit, crack from the pressure to perform, or are trying so hard to mimic the previous voice that it’s actually worrying. The Angel dust one in particular I’ll get to when I get to the point.

-The plot starts with the main antagonist, literally telling Charlie that her plan is pointless and she should give up. There’s no actual “I want” song to counter this, unless you count the song where Adam mocks her for trying and tells her the exterminations will happen twice a year now.

-Pentious at least wasn’t a creep like i was fearing in the script, but he comes off too pathetic? Like I know he was pathetic and that’s the point but why the fuck does he want to be equal to the Vees now? Didn’t he want to rule over hell himself? I know the instagram had him crop himself into pictures with the Vees but remember those aren’t canon!

-I realized I was able to hop in because I had Wikipedia level knowledge of these characters to the point they click in my head (and enough to where Alastor, Charlie, Vaggie and Husk all felt a little off but that’s neither here nor there). But god I cannot imagine being a new person trying to jump into this show, this is bad. None of the characters get actually introduced outside of Charlie, the show references the pilot which isn’t part of the show so new audiences have no idea what they’re talking about, and the staff gets actually introduced in episode 2. EPISODE 2, TO PENTIOUS!? GIRLIE POP HAVE HIM COME EPISODE 1 THEN?

-Animation that’s either too floaty, too janky, too stiff or straight up traced. Which I don’t blame the animators for, Mammon was busy buying 10,000 dollars worth of peacocks to bother paying them more than a dollar per frame. There’s no charm here.

-Where did the fucking cat key come from? No I’m serious. Where did it come from? It just kinda exists now.

-Alastor’s commercial is just straight up MEAN and he’s often more mean than chaotic, which I know is ironic since he wasn’t a good person and I wasn’t expecting him to be but it’s to a point where it’s not even fun mean. He literally called Charlie’s endeavor “Daddy issues”. It felt like he was just there to slap Charlie in the face.

-Angel Dust rant is gonna be so long that I saved it for last.

I have to put it under the read more because of talk of SA! Fun!

Ok.

I’m saying this as someone who loved him from the pilot and was willing to excuse his behavior as “flaws he can work on” since Addict and everything else proved that there was more under the surface and he was a character that could change and grow and-

…

Angel dust, the rape victim… the guy running away from his abuser…

The Angel dust who has traumatic episodes so fucking graphic that he flashes back to them when he’s performing.

Saying “yeah no, fucking sexually exploit me! It turns me on!”

Viv, I know you’re not reading this but I mean this genuinely.

Fuck you.

As someone who’s family has experienced sexual abuse, as someone who’s family still has CPTSD because men in power decide to exploit them… how fuckin dare you make a character enjoy their own exploitation.

This isn’t me kink shaming a sexual character! He can be sexual and like sex! It’s never been the problem and hell it could of been liberation to have sex he deserves.

But no.

Let’s make the SA victim into the sexual harassment character, let’s make the SA victim the Stolas of the show where he wears down his love interest so thin that they have to give up.

Let’s make the SA victim still work under his shitty abuser, and make that into a joke as the abuser mentions wanting to rape everyone in the hotel.

Don’t pay to watch this show, I mean it.

Pirate it.

Hell don’t even watch it, find something better to watch. I’ve been binging anime as of late and I still like captain lazerhawk.

#hazbin leaks #hazbin hotel critical #oh yeah btw I reneg my statement of letting go of Angel dust #I’m stealing his ass #Viv stole from people anyways #Angel dust is now my character and I am keeping him away from Valentino #The radio dust au is gonna be my comfort from this

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minghaos-girl18 · 1 month

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Seventeen as Mafia Members

This was just for fun and it is my first post on here, so if you want to see more feel free to request and give my page a follow.

Warnings: mentions of death, brutality, and jail but nothing to deep ;)

S.Coups: The boss

For obvious reasons. He is Seventeen's scary leader for a reason. For example, in that one video of a dog only listening to him. And how he can just give the rest of Seventeen one look and they like backtrack. Boss vibes.

He knows how to handle his business and very rarely gets truly involved with any actual dirty business himself. Is very careful about who he plans to give his business to.

No one double crosses him and once you work for him, it is understood that you will always work for him.

Jeonghan:Consigliere

I think Jeonghan would be S.Coups right hand man. Him and S.Coups only make decisions together. He has almost as much weight as S.Coups himself, and no one can meet S.Coups without Jeonghan approval and Jeonghan is always present. (lovers)

Jeonghan handles everything for S.Coups, that way S.Coups doesn't show his face unless necessary. However, it is understood that if anyone came for Jeonghan for any reason S.Coups would be the one to "handle" it.

Joshua:Capo

He definitely runs his own crew. He keeps a tight hand on them. He is the type of person that you would never expect to have a hand in illegal dealings. Which is why he is so good. I feel like he also has a dark side and prefers to be the one that handles the people that cross him during business dealings.

Probably the type to live in a house about a thirty minute drive from the city (so no one heard the screams of the victims). Most of those working for him were kids he picked up off the streets- they stay the loyal.

Jun:Police

Jun is smart and I think he could handle living a double life. He is the informant for S.Coups. He reports to Jeonghan if any of the other operating mafia families are crossing into the Choi territory.

He is the chief and can make evidence "disappear" if necessary. He is one of the main reason nothing can be drawn back to S.Coups. The only time there is evidence is if Jeonghan gave specific instructions. This usually was signified by Hoshi getting the case, which usually meant the person that had been caught by police was a rat.

off topic junhui is so pretty

Wonwoo: Capo

Wonwoo also has a group of soldiers under his command. He differs from Joshua because he only steps into the dirty side of the mafia business when absolutely necessary. The group he runs consists of mostly hackers and only a selected few can even speak to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo takes his job seriously though. He works with Seungkwan to make sure there are no moles in the "business". And if there are, then that evidence will be sent to Jeonghan and after direct work with Jun and Hoshi the moles are either dead or in jail.

Wonwoo also keeps people from bugging the Choi territory sending his soldiers to do mandatory sweeps of every building owned by S.Coups. And if he finds out that they are not being done right or a bug was missed-well I feel bad for that soldier.

Hoshi: Associate

Hoshi is a part of the mafia, but he also isn't??

Hoshi does what S.Coups (or rather Jeonghan) tells him to do for the right price. Hoshi seems like a prosecutor by day, assassin by night kinda guy. Which is why he is so useful to S.Coups. As a prosecutor, Hoshi dedicates himself to putting bad people in jail (or the people S.Coups wants put in jail). And at night, he dedicates himself to making sure justice has been served.

He is seen by the public as some vigilante and due to his close work with Jun for his morning job, there is no chance of Hoshi or "The Justice" being caught.

Woozi:Underboss

Jihoon is reliable and gets his job done. His work is his life, and he is willing to do pretty much anything in order to obtain the role of Boss one day. Jihoon also knows when he can test his limits and when he shouldn't. I think S.Coups also discusses almost every aspect of his "business" with Jihoon. S.Coups knows that whenever he decides to leave the business, Jihoon will take good care of everything.

Jihoon keeps his nose clean for the most part. However, if S.Coups is busy and something big is to be handled Jeonghan is given orders to allow Jihoon to handle it.

And he does.

The8: Associate

I think Minghao handles the finances for S.Coups. That is the only tie to S.Coups he has. He also works at his own pace, and very rarely gets his hands dirty. But that doesn't mean he won't (don't try to steal from him- those martial arts skills will pulverise you )

I think like only a select few have even lived to tale the tale of what would happen if Minghao caught you trying to steal. And those few would only be kept alive just to make sure no one was dumb enough to try. Of course...there is always someone dumb enough to try.

Dk: Capo

Now hear me out on this one. He is our sunshine, but I know he would handle himself very well when it came to managing his own team

Seokmin for the most part would be a fun, loving, typical sunshine person and a great boss. However, his soldiers know not to push him, because he can be dark. He can be cold-hearted and will be if pushed to that point. He does not like it when people try to walk over him, because they think they can. And he is quick to put them in their place-verbally or physically.

Mingyu: Associate

Assassin.

Mingyu is highly sought after, but he works only for a selected few. S.Coups being one of them. Mingyu is picky and high priced with his jobs. But if given a task, he will accomplish it and depending on the request it will either be the quietest death or the most brutal.

Definitely is given another name in the papers and on the streets...something like Kuro Neko (I am pretty sure that means black cat in Japanese).

I also think Mingyu would keep this side of him well hidden. And would use his bubbly personality to get close to his targets and keep up a solid public persona. Probably runs a clothing shop with a basement full of assassin equipment.

Seungkwan: Spy

Seungkwan has an outgoing personality. He probably would have some type of traveling job on the outside. But he is usually planting some type of bug that allows S.Coups intel on people that he is suspicious of.

Seungkwan also gets invites to parties for people of high status. This allows him access and plant more bugs on celebrities without any second glances. After all who would believe someone like Seungkwan would be involved with the mafia.

Vernon: Associate

Vernon works with Seungkwan.

(lovers pt.2)

Vernon is the new bartender (or bouncer of some sort depending where Seungkwan is planting the bugs-probably is housekeeping at some point). I think Vernon has a thousand costumes his closet because he basically either gets Seungkwan in (like if Seungkwan needs into a hotel room, Vernon will play housekeeper and role Seungkwan in the housekeeping cart) or out.

Vernon knows about S.Coups and but Vernon works more for Seungkwan and prefers it that way. However, he still receives a pay out from S.Coups for his work.

Dino: Spy/Assassin

Chan has a job that combines Seungkwans and Mingyus, but for a special purpose. Chan spies on the people he aims to assassinate, and unlike Mingyu who works for a selected few, Chan works only for S.Coups.

Chan targets people whose loved ones have not repaid their debts to S.Coups. Chan gets close to them and as soon as he is given the green light (from Jeonghan or Jihoon) he assassinates them.

He either sends invites to the debts owners so that they find the body or he moves the body to a place where he knows they will find it.

He leaves a symbol to let that person know it was him-like a black rose or something.

Is will come to be known as the angel of death.

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this silly little writing of mine. I hope to write on here more often so follow for more :)

#svt reactions #seventeen au #seventeen headcanons #woozi #jun #wonwoo #dino #choi seungcheol #minghao #seokmin #jeonghan #joshua #mingyu #hoshi #vernon #seungkwan

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general-sleepy · 7 months

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Assigning Saw Traps to Dracula Characters:

Because this is how my mind works. Also, I previously mentioned I was playing with this and @animate-mush encouraged my bad behavior. (With brief summaries of the traps if you're not as disastrously obsessed with the Saw series as I am.

Seward: I can honestly really see Jack in Lawrence's place in the Bathroom Trap (the main setup of the first movie, you wake up in a room with a stranger and you have to murder them or several of your loved ones will be killed; also in order to murder them you have to cut off your foot). Both of them are physicians who are emotionally disconnected and generally don't appreciate their lives. Honestly, though, I don't think the self-amputation aspect of the trap would be that huge of a deal for Jack. He might think it's kind of morbidly interesting.

Jonathan: I wasn't sure about this at first, but I decided Jonathan could take Adam's role in the Bathroom Trap. Adam is being punished for being passive, which is also a trait of Jonathan at the beginning of the novel; though due to politeness and a desire to please, rather than Adam's internalized homophobia unspecified mental illness. So, they have to suffer the wages of their own passivity, being helpless to another (implicitly more important) person's whims. Honestly, I can see John Kramer looking at Jonathan and getting big "pawn in someone else's game" energy. (Note that this applies to Jonathan pre-novel; post-novel, John would be very sore about Jon's willingness to die for/with Mina, because loving someone so much you couldn't live without them is pretty cringe tbh).

Arthur: Jigsaw would honestly struggle to find a reason to throw Art into a murder game. Maybe if he didn't process the grief of losing nearly everyone he loves in a few months in exactly the way John Kramer approved of. He'd probably get stuck in one of the more basic ones. Maybe the Venus Fly Trap (there's like a mini iron maiden around your neck and you have to cut out your eye to get the key surgically implanted behind it to get out of it). Arthur's a tough guy, though; honestly, I think he could get through it.

Quincey: Maybe Rigg's game (being faced with a variety of people in Saw traps and being encouraged not to help them, because either they deserve to die or they can only recover by "helping" themselves). We know that Quincey is self-sacrificing and willing to put his neck out to help near-strangers because for some reason he believes concern for others is a valuable reason to risk your own life. However, I imagine that Quincey would help rescue a victim of domestic violence, instead of deciding that she won't learn anything unless she pulls herself up by her bootstraps and helps herself (by killing her husband and suffering horrible pain, because DV victims are just complacent).

Lucy: Lucy and William Easton don't have a lot in common, but I realized his trap would fit for her. William's trap is super complicated, but mostly he has to go through a variety of situations where he decides who lives and who dies. Like, having to decide whether to kill a healthy young orphan with no friends or family and a chronically ill wife and mother, both of whom have done literally nothing wrong. Or having to decide which two of five people to save from being shot in the chest with a shotgun. This is the worst thing that could happen to Lucy, a boundlessly loving people-pleaser. That might be why he puts her in a trap, to encourage her to stand up for herself or something.

Mina: My immediate instinct was the Angel Trap (you're hooked up to this rig that is going to rip your ribs open unless you can fish the key out of a bottle of acid before it melts), mostly because of her and Kerry giving me kind of similar vibes. Kerry, a cop, is put in the trap because she's apparently obsessed with death more than the living, though really it seems like she's just too close to catching Jigsaw. Mina is fascinated by ghost stories and reads about criminology. She's, in a way, suicidal, and John Kramer absolutely cannot stand that. John would say that becoming a vampire is still close enough to living that you should still appreciate it.

Van Helsing: I was struggling to figure this out until I saw Saw X. Van Helsing is obsessed with brains and intellect and feels himself to be intellectually superior, so I think the brain surgery trap (you have to cut out a certain amount of your own brain tissue or your head gets roasted in a kind of mini-brazen bull) would fit. Maybe the instructions/insult tape would be something like, "You think you know what's going on in my brain, let's see if you know what's going on in yours." Something dumb like that.

#saw #dracula #saw x spoilers #i didn't put renfield here because john might actually dig his whole vibe #“you're obsessed with living? ah hell yeah living's awesome. carry on you crazy bastard. best of luck”#jonathan harker #mina harker #jack seward #quincey morris #arthur holmwood #abraham van helsing #tw: gore #tw: domestic violence #tw: suicide

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 7 months

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Regarding your last post, I thought the same while watching the behind the scenes of the MV. This is not a shade because I myself am not fluent in English and still need to improve a lot but to me it seems quite obvious Jungkook’s English isn’t as good as some Army like to pretend (I’m going to get call names…). I would say he’s around a low intermediate level, which is perfectly fine, he has a busy life so it doesn’t let him a lot of time to study. I guess his understanding is better than his speaking skills, which is usually the case for most of language learners, but orally I don’t think he fully grasps all the meanings and nuances and the slang etc. I just want to say again this is not me trying to belittle his abilities, it’s only my opinion, but to me it doesn’t look like he fully understands what he sings… his face expressions in that video, it looks like sometimes he was a bit clueless. I’m not saying he has no idea of what he is singing, obviously he got a full translation before accepting the project but he doesn’t look like he truly "feels" the lyrics and immerge himself in it. Idk, for me it lacks something and that video made me a bit uncomfortable. I know I’m being a bit dramatic but I can’t shake the feeling that the industry is using him for cash and immediate success without paying much attention to who he his, his personality, his artistry. And another collab is on the way with Kid Laroi apparently… I’m losing interest. I want to hear Jungkook on his own, with a song made only for him and that reflects who he is as a person and an artist. I miss that feeling, seeing him perform so honestly, when you can see on his face and hear in his voice how much he feels the song, how deep he goes to find the emotions and bring them to the surface. I truly hope there will be songs on his album that makes me feel connected to him again because at the moment it feels like I am totally unable to enjoy what he’s doing.

I don't even know if he bothered translating Jack Harlow's parts tbh. I remember one Run BTS episode where they had to sing their songs without using English, so they had to translate some lyrics to Korean, and, apart from RM, the members didn't even know what the English lyrics meant. I remember J-Hope being shocked, like, "So this is what this part means?", which was a bit wild for me since it was his song. Tbh, I don't bother reading the translation to most kpop songs. I only know what the tts mean because most MVs have subtitles now. If not, then too bad... Most songs have boring lyrics so it's often best if I don't know them. It's different for the artist, but I still can't be certain that Jungkook bothered finding out the translation to Jack's parts although he's the type to. Maybe he was so busy he didn't bother? Maybe he recorded his parts and only gave his blessing to the final version which included Jack's verses, without approving the lyrics beforehand. He doesn't seem the type to control what other people write in their own verses. Maybe he was too busy to translate the lyrics and only did it later? All seem to be possible options. The fact that Jungkook had to be coached to do the right facial expressions and gestures for his TikTok with Jack made it seem like he wasn't sure at all what the lyrics meant - at least then. It also makes me confident that he doesn't know what "rain, rain, rain" or "champagne, confetti" really mean. I think Jungkook cares more about melody and the vibe than lyrics.

Anyway, I don't think the industry is using him. He's not a victim anymore than anyone else. He's making his own choices, as much as someone in the industry can. Of course Big Hit loves the choices he's making because he's doing so well commercially, but I think he's made it clear that he loves what he's been doing. And if he's letting other people make choices for him, the blame is on him too, because he's in a position where he can say no.

I also want to hear Jungkook on his own, but, unless he's truly being pressured into only doing collabs for whatever reason, these are the choices he's making.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #jungkook #text #thanks for the ask

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butwhatifidothis · 2 years

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TEATG isn't some obscure fanfic that only a few people actually read; it's being actively updated and is, by AO3 statistics, one of the most popular 3H fanfics. It even has its own page on TV Tropes (the only other big ones I can think of are "An Eagle Among Lions" and "Wear Your Colours"). It's big enough to be critiqued.

I think there are a few more 3H fics on TVTropes but yeah, there aren't that many of them to be sure.

And it's like, I'm not asking for the fic to be taken down or anything drastic like that. It's just that there are so many things that are genuinely just bad that have become a core of the fic's structure: victim blaming, racism, misandry, benevolent sexism towards women, infantilization, manipulation, hypocrisy, imperialism, so many things that are just a part of the casual reading experience of this fic, and it seems like Cap'n and his audience just... don't notice any of it.

Like, when Ficleth is going on about how much being a mix of human and Nabatean is rotting her soul because she, to quote, "doesn't belong anywhere" and (per Chapter 58) "has to choose"? When any man that steps even slightly out of a woman's line gets assaulted? When the genocide survivors are groveling at the feet of the people who'd just tried to kill them because they, the genocide survivors, didn't do enough to help their almost-killers? When a grown ass woman who's lived the first 20-21 years of her life as a hardened mercenary gets consistently likened to a child? When almost all of the women are just broken flowers that can only be fixed by love? When "let me conquer you and if you don't you're to blame for the suffering I cause" is an unironic, genuine message the fic's narrative legitimately stands by?

Yeah that doesn't pass the vibe check.

Not to mention all of the things it gets objectively wrong. No, Byleth does not become more expressive on CF; they become the least expressive, even has it pointed out by Edelgard herself in her A support with them. No, Edelgard does not see herself as an ugly monster unworthy of company; literally nothing in the game supports that. No, Rhea wasn't "sacrificing Byleth" in her mind during the Holy Tomb; she thought she was just getting Sothis back her memories, hence her seeing Byleth as their own person when Sothis doesn't return. No, Marianne never thought her Crest was cursed because of the Church's teachings; she says herself that it was her father that told her about being wary of her Crest. No, Petra doesn't stop seeing herself as a hostage on CF; it is specifically on CF where she will still feel like a hostage, as she says in her CF-specific A support with Byleth.

Plus all of the "translation errors" that Cap'n """"""""""fixes"""""""""" in his fic - and all of the genuine mistakes that he conveniently leaves in. Ionius getting rid of the consort system entirely - wrong, he just wanted to get rid of the power given to the consort kin. Dimitri is far ruder in the JPN version - wrong, Cap'n just doesn't understand how the Japanese language works on a cultural level. Edelgard setting out to destroy the Crest Stones - a mistake he left in, the JPN version makes it clear that she planned on using them for herself. The "Unless such acts are committed under the will of the goddess" (or something along those lines) tenet - arguably one of the backbones as to why Woobiegard thinks Church Bad, and it's based on a translation error (a more accurate reading is "for no good reason").

All of this misinformation and not the best messages all crammed into one of the most popular 3H fics to date and which is also passed around as "basically canon" and must-read material to understand Edelgard. Yeah, not really gonna feel that bad for critiquing it lol, though I will again reiterate that me critiquing this fic here is not grounds for anyone to go to the fic and leave any unsavory comments

#ask #exqueuese me princess #o captain my captain #also all of the aforementioned ass in the fic is like. 90% of the reason it takes so long to get through lmao so yeah

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sonder-paradise · 3 years

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Okay okay I know that everyone is speculating that Chuuya is the mysterious figure but like,,, I think the whole bloody panel moment feels kinda out of character for him? Not that I think he ain't capable, FAR from it but I don't believe that Chuuya would massacre someone that brutally (with all the blood everywhere) My train of thinking ofc Chuuya could have probably had a bad day and went crazy LMAO

I mean I think that’s why I didn’t fully believe it was Chuuya (and honestly I don’t wanna get my hopes up accidentally lmaoo)

Chuuya does enjoy fighting but the massacre-like killing of the panel gives me more of an Akutagawa vibe

The blood statins on the wall indicate an impactful blow but not only that, but some of them are high on the walls themselves.

Some reach below the wall and others are nearly at the ceiling. This reminds me vaguely of an ability capable of wiping them out at once or at least in one or two goes. Notice how there’s a literal pathway of bodies that leads to the door.

Really only two abilities come to mind when seeing this killing style, Akutagawa’s or Chuuya’s. On the off chance it is another character, you have to take in their height as well.

The person’s legs only reach to less than half of the wall panel if I had to guess. And even when they’re in front of the door, they’re small in comparison to where the hinges are located in it. Obviously Akuatagwa is not a contender in this guessing game. Chuuya is but there are other factors that make me feel unsure it is him.

For example, there are no impact markings on the wall or floor. I’m not sure if this is done hastily perhaps that’s the reason for no marks but when Chuuya fights, he generally leaves impacts due to his gravitational ability.

Honestly for a character that fights a lot, I can’t say much about his actual fighting style. His victims are usually killed with precision. Take the scenes in Fifteen Arc for example. When he merely shoots them with their own bullets.

But personally the smirks match up

If it is Chuuya, he is annoyed (which makes sense considering who he’d have to save) or bothered by something (also makes sense considering what’s currently happening to the port mafia). Since this killing is honestly very brutal and filled with either unneeded violence or annoyance and haste.

I also don’t see why Nikolai and Sigma would save Dazai since Fyodor and him are clearly moving their own chess pieces and trying to outdo the other. Saving Dazai from prison sounds strangely counterintuitive for Fyodor’s plans. (Unless he’s got something up his sleeve)

What does make sense is the two panels actually showing two different scenes. As someone mentioned previously, Nikolai and Sigma were never actually shown in the same panel as Dazai. In fact, the shadowy figure appeared in Dazai’s frame. Not Sigma or Nikolai. So perhaps it’s Nikolai and Sigma talking to Fyodor and Dazai screaming is lungs off in front of a different person.

Notice that their shoulder padding is sharper and creased. It looks like a coat basically (once again Akutagawa or Chuuya vibes) Sigma’s coat is generally rounded with a shape-ish edge but he’s also standing behind Nikolai. It would make sense for the black figure to be the leading one (Nikolai in this case) but Nikolai has rounded shoulders.

There’s one last thing I want to point out here that I haven’t seen many people take into account

The ability used to drag Dazai under? Look familiar?

But then again I’m a weak Chuuya simp so maybe I’m just grasping at straws and Asagiri is gonna bitch slap me and tell me I’m wrong

#[📬] inbox #[🐚] daphne #chuuya bsd

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thebrightsessions · 4 years

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Entertainment Spotlight: Ian McQuown

Ian is an LA based actor and producer known for the YouTube comedy group, Extremely Decent, as well as a voice actor in the popular audio dramas: The Bright Sessions, The AM Archives, StarTripper!! & Deck The Halls! His credits inclue American Housewife, Trial & Error, Better Things, and For All Mankind. Ian took the time to answer some questions for us. Check it out:

You’ve worked on multiple podcasts -- what drew you to the medium?

Well, to be honest, Lauren drew me to it because TBS was my first narrative podcast. We met at a Rocky Horror Picture Show show. Anna Lore is our mutual friend and I think Anna is just talented as all get out, so anything she’s involved I want to be in. And, I don’t know, it was just one of those lucky breaks you get where a door opens and takes you to all these cool places you never anticipated.

On podcasting though, I really appreciate how much more possible it is to tell engaging stories without the boundaries of having to afford a set and a camera and insurance and etc etc etc. Like, I grew up with Star Wars, The Matrix, Cowboy Bebop— so when I imagine the stories I like, I’m usually picturing other worlds, space ships, people with super powers and those types of stories used to have a lot higher barrier to entry to make than they do now, which is just awesome.

If you could give a character from The Bright Sessions a spinoff series, who would you choose and what would the series be called?

I mean, no surprises here, but I’d love to see Damien’s early years. And I’d be super clever and call it something like... Damien: The Early Years. I'm dying for that content a little bit actually: Damien, before he became such a bad guy. Maybe a love story that doesn’t work out and leaves him really scarred? Villains so bad they created a villain instead of a victim— that moment where we see the two roads Damien has to choose between and it totally shreds us when he makes the choice we all know he’s going to make, I mean, come ON you can see that, right? It’d be like the Star Wars prequels but without all the youngling killing and “NOOOOOOOO”’s and I want it.

Can you share a fun story or anecdote from the making of The Bright Sessions?

Haha, ok well it’s not really anything of note BUT: I remember Lauren had this area rug in her room, which as you probably know is where we would record, and it was this really nice, I think, red sort of floral rug that took up pretty much all the floor space because it was covering up the older apartment rug-floor underneath it. And it was, as I said, really cool, except it wasn’t a rug on a wood floor, right? It was a rug on a rug so it was a bit taller than the people who designed the room had planned for— the result of which was that you’d walk in and the room had this really awesome little vibe with this cute rug, and it was all very cozy, unless you looked directly behind you at the corner where the door had just spent ages scraping the surface of it, catching the corner, tearing little pieces out. And I may be getting apocryphal at this point, but I feel like by the time I had started coming around Lauren had straight up duct taped it to the floor, which really didn’t help the problem. And, I don’t know—again it’s not really anything momentous—but I just remember giving Lauren a particular amount of shit about it one day and us all having a really good laugh. And I really love that— there are jobs where you show up, keep your head down, do your work and leave, but then there are jobs like The Bright Sessions where you all get to become friends, and even if you don’t see each other for a while you sort of just get to pick up where you left off. And then those jobs turn into other jobs and you get to keep hanging out with your friends and peers and just making stuff you like— I’m a big fan of that.

If your life was a choose your own adventure, what decisions would viewers have to make on an average day?

OKAY, you wake up...

Water your garden before it gets to be 110 today, you cannot skip this step. You may however:

A) Stay out in the garden for longer if you get inspired and check if the tomatoes and peppers are ripe for picking.

Great! Now let’s make breakfast:

A) Make eggs, toast, fried tomatoes, and hash browns?

B) Make (A) But also with Bacon?

C) Make a smoothie?

D) There’s no time today, run to Whole Foods and get their incredibly priced $6 Egg, Bacon Cheese Breakfast burrito.

Awesome! You’ve eaten and now you can think. What work do you have to do?

A) Prep your audition, dummy! It’s due this afternoon, go fix your hair.

B) You have a zoom meeting with actor friends at 11 to play around with some new material, put on a hat.

C) There is nothing you have to work on so stare at your computer and wonder if there’s new project you could be working on. Try to find that project, leave your hair as it.

Wow! You really had a great (insert previous choice here), let’s get you a coffee and take a TV break. What should we watch?!

A) That new show you haven’t seen yet because you need to watch everything so you know how to work on it should you get an audition for it.

B) Harley Quinn (your favorite new cartoon).

C) Teenage Bounty Hunters.

D) Farscape.

E) Nope, you just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it (Level Complete).

Lunch Time!!!

A) Turkey sandwich with pickles from the garden?

B) Trader Joe’s Margherita Pizza with basil and peppers from the garden?

C) Are we going to start another loaf of sourdough you basic mf?

D) Yes we probably are, but also (A) and (B).

Cool! I’ve eaten lunch. Now what?

A) You haven’t finished that work from this morning. Riiiight.

B)…More Harley Quinn…?

C) Let’s make pasta from scratch!

D) Let’s make ribs! From…ribs!

F) You just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it. (Level Complete).

Bangarang! You probably chose to start cooking dinner immediately after eating lunch. You ate it (and it rocked), what now?

A) You just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it. (Level Complete)

B) DnD with squad.

C) Go on a run, dude— you’re getting a Jaba chin….

D) Bring on the chin! Let’s watch TV until 2am! Here are your options:

A) Harley Quinn (your new favorite cartoon)

B) Teenage Bounty Hunters

C) Farscape

D) Put The Office on in the background and clean your house.

Level Complete.

As you can see I’m a very food-focused person. Also, I’m going to be real, that is truly what most of my days look like and I’m low-key a little mortified that ’taking a shower’ wasn’t a game option...

Can you share your favorite piece of Bright Sessions / AM Archives fan art?

I love all the fan art that people make for my characters but this one from Franartz has always been really special to me. It’s so GQ, I just love it — and some of my favorite early AG moments are with Damien, who looks a little like he stepped out of a Gorrilaz album here— big fan. I’m a little obsessed with fan art actually, I save everything I come across— there’s a freckled red-headed series of Owen by TheFigureInTheCorner that makes me really happy. Seeing that my work has inspired someone else to make something of their own is really what’s up, you know? It makes me think about all the art and entertainment that has touched me over the years and I get a lot of joy from being a part of that cycle.

Thanks for taking the time, Ian! Give I Can Die When I'm Done a relisten right here.

#entertainment spotlight #the bright sessions #the am archives #Ian mcquown

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jayoctodot · 3 years

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The Silent Patient vs The Maidens

I will start by saying that I understand the appeal of these novels as page-turners. They are easy to read and if you want a twisty reveal at the end, you will probably be entertained and satisfied. That being said, I am SO CONFUSED by the near-universal adoration of The Silent Patient and the reasonably positive reception of The Maidens. The weaknesses of the two are strikingly similar, as well, which doesn’t give me much hope of seeing improvement from this guy, though I am intrigued to see whether he keeps repeating the same (apparently successful!!) patterns. These books were at least super fun to hate.

(For context, I read The Maidens for a bookclub I'm in, because several of the members had read and loved The Silent Patient, and one of them gave me a copy of the latter to read on my own time. I loathed The Maidens and then read The SP for comparative purposes. And because I'm a masochist, apparently.)

SPOILER WARNING! Do not read on unless you've finished both books (or unless you care not for spoilers). Sorry if it gets a bit shouty.

Here are the similar weaknesses I noticed in both:

PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGY

-> Weirdly similar “group therapy” scenes early on where a cartoonishly unstable patient arrives late, disrupts the meeting by throwing something into the middle of the circle, and is asked to join the group after the therapist(s) speechify on the importance of boundaries (HA! None of these therapists would know an appropriate boundary if it kicked them in the ass) and debate whether to “allow” the patient to join. Both scenes are so transparent in their design to establish the credibility/legitimacy of the narrators as therapists, but instead both Theo and Mariana come off as super patronizing. The protagonists are less and less believable as therapists at the stories progress (though at least Theo’s incompetence is explained away by the “twist” at the end; Mariana, on the other hand, is confronted in the opening pages of the novel by a patient who has self-harmed PRETTY extensively, and rather than ensure he get proper medical attention, she essentially throws him a first aid kit and tosses him out the door so she can pour herself a glass of wine and call her niece... and it devolves from there).

-> Ongoing insistence throughout the narrative that one’s childhood trauma entirely explains the warped/dysfunctional way a character behaves or views the world, which is why the books go out of their way to give EVERY potentially violent character a traumatic childhood; when Theo insists that no one ever became an abuser who hadn’t been abused themselves, I wanted to throw the book across the room. (That is a MYTH, SIR. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY.)

-> Female murderers whose pathology boils down to “history of depression” and “traumatized by a male loved one/family member.” Because, as we all know, depression + abuse = murderer!

-> The “therapy” depicted in both books is laughable and so so unrealistic, mostly because neither narrators function as therapists so much as incompetent detectives, obsessively pursuing a case they have no place pursuing (or skill to pursue - both just happen across every clue mostly by way of clunky conversation with all the people who can provide precisely the snippet of info to send them along to the next person, and the next… until all is revealed in a tired, cliched “twist”). Their constant Psych 101 asides were so tiresome and weirdly dated (also, the constant harping on countertransference got so ridiculous that at one point during "therapy" Theo literally attributes his headache and a particular emotion he feels to Alicia, as though the contents of her head are being broadcast directly into his mind... and I'm PRETTY SURE that's not how it works???)

CHARACTERS

-> Psychotherapist narrators with abusive fathers and pretensions of being Sherlock Holmes, which results in both characters crossing ALL KINDS of ethical lines as they invade the personal lives of everyone even tangentially connected to their cases (and, in Theo's case, violate all kinds of patient confidentiality. Yeah, yeah, by the end, that's the least of his offenses, but before you get there, it's baffling that NO ONE is calling him out on this).

-> All female characters are either elderly with hilariously bad advice, monstrous hulking brutes, or beautiful bitches (except for ~MARIANA~, who is Bella Swan-esque in her unawareness of her own attractiveness, despite multiple men trying to get with her almost immediately after meeting her. I'm so tired of beautiful female characters being oblivious to their own hotness. Are we meant to believe all mirrors and male attention have escaped their notice? If it’s to make them “relatable,” this tactic really fails with me).

-> All characters of color are shallow, cartoonish side characters, and most of them are depicted as unsympathetic minor antagonists (the Sikh Chief Inspector in The Maidens continuously drinks tea from an ever-present thermos, and his only other notable characteristic is his instant dislike of Mariana, whom he VERY RIGHTLY warns to stay out of the investigation that she is VERY MUCH compromising… the Caribbean manager of the Grove is universally disliked by her staff for enforcing stricter safety regulations at the bafflingly poorly run mental institution, because HOW DARE SHE. There's a very clear vibe that we're supposed to dislike these characters and share the protagonists' indignation, but honestly Sangha/Stephanie were completely in the right for trying to shut down their wildly inappropriate investigations).

-> "Working class" characters (or basically anyone excluded from the comfortably upper-crust, educated main cadre of characters) are few and far between in both stories, but when they show up, he depicts them as such caricatures. We got Elsie the pathologically lying housekeeper in the Maidens, who is enticed to share her bullshit with cake, and then a TOOTHLESS LEPRECHAUN DEALING DRUGS UNDER A BRIDGE in the SP. I kid you not, a man described as having the body of a child, the face of Father Time, and no front teeth, emerges from beneath a bridge and offers to sell Theo some "grass." I was dyinggg.

-> There are no characters to root for. Anywhere. Partly because they’re all so thinly drawn — and because we’re clearly supposed to view almost ALL of them as potential suspects, so they’re ALL weird, creepy, or incompetent in some way.

-> The flimsiest of flimsy motives, both for the narrators and the murderers. Theo fully would have gotten away with his involvement in the murder if he hadn't gone out of his way to work at the Grove and "treat" Alicia and his justification for doing so is pretty weak; his rapid descent into stalking and murder fantasy and his random ass decision to "expose" Alicia's husband as a cheater with a spur-of-the-moment home invasion and staged attempted homicide is ONLY justified if the reader hand waves it away as WELP, HE'S CRAZY, I GUESS (after all, he DID have an abusive father and a history of mental illness, and in Michaelides novels, that's ALL YOU NEED to become a violent psycho). I guess we're lucky Mariana didn't also start dropping bodies (because the logic of his fictional universe says she should definitely be a murderer by now... maybe that'll be his Maidens sequel?). But she especially had NO reason to randomly turn detective - and she kept trying to justify it by saying she needed to re-enter the world or that Sebastian would want her to (??), even though she had no background in criminal psychology... or even a particular fondness for mysteries (really, I would've accepted ANYTHING to explain her dogged obsession with the case. WHY were Sebastian and Zoe so certain she would insert herself into the investigation just because one of Zoe's friends was the first victim? WHY?). As for Zoe and Alicia, their motives are mere suggestions: they were both abused and manipulated, and voila! Slippery slope to murder.

WRITING STYLE

-> Incessant allusions to Greek tragedy and myth, apparently to provide a sophisticated gloss over the bare-bones writing style, which opts more for telling than showing and frequently indulges in hilariously bizarre analogies. Credit where credit is due — the references to Greek myth are less clunky in the SP, and I liked learning about the Alcestis play/myth, which I hadn’t heard of before - but OMG the entire characterization of Fosca, who we are meant to believe is a professor of Greek tragedy at one of the most respected universities on the planet, is just absurd. His "lecture" on the liminal in Greek tragedy is essentially the Wikipedia page on the Eleusinian Mysteries capped off with some Hallmark-card carpe diem crap. The lecture hall responds with raucous applause, clearly never having heard such vague genius bullshit before.

-> Super clunky and amateurish narrative device of interludes written by another character; Sebastian’s letter reads like a mashup of Dexter monologues and Clarice’s memory of the screaming sheep, but by FAR the worse offender is Alicia’s diary, where we’re supposed to believe she painstakingly recorded ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, BEAT-BY-BEAT DIALOGUE, even when she’s just been DRUGGED TO THE GILLS with morphine and has mere moments of consciousness left… and even before that, she literally takes the time to write “He's trying the windows and doors! ...Someone’s inside! Someone’s inside the house! ETC ETC” when she thinks her stalker has broken in downstairs. WHO DOES THAT?)

-> Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue is so bad. Based on his bio, Michaelides got a degree in screenwriting, which makes his terrible dialogue even more baffling.

-> HILARIOUSLY rendered voyeur scenes where the narrators spy on couples having sex. Such unintentionally awkward descriptions. First we had Kathy’s climax sounds through the trees and then the bowler hat carefully placed on a tombstone before the gatekeeper plows a student. Again, I died.

PLOT/"TWIST"

-> The CONSTANT red herrings make for such an exhausting read. Michaelides drops anvils with almost every character that are so obviously meant to designate them as suspects in our minds. There is absolutely no subtlety in his misdirections.

-> The “crossover” scene between the SP and The Maidens makes no sense - when in the timeline does Mariana’s story overlap with Theo’s? They confer just before Theo starts working at the Grove, obviously (though Mariana appears to be the one who alerts Theo to the job opening there? Whereas in the SP, Theo has been obsessively tracking Alicia since the murder and had already planned to apply to work there?), but then are we supposed to believe that while Theo has been psychotically pursuing his warped quest to “help” Alicia, he’s also been diligently treating Zoe, so invested in her case that he repeatedly reaches out to Mariana to get her to visit Zoe and even writes Mariana a lengthy letter to convince her to do so??? And then a couple days after The Maidens ends, Theo is arrested???

-> But the thing I really did hate the most is how Michaelides treats his female murderers (who are both also victims themselves) as mere means to deploy a “twist”; there’s no moment spared to encourage our sympathy for Zoe, who was groomed and manipulated by the only trusted father figure in her life, and even after spending a decent amount of time getting to know Alicia via her ridiculous diary, where it’s so apparent that she’s been demeaned, objectified, manipulated, gaslit, and/or used by EVERY man in her life, she’s sent packing to spend the rest of her days in a coma… HOW much more satisfying would it have been for her to succeed in exposing Theo and reclaiming her voice? But no, she basically rolls over when he comes to finish her off (SPEAKING OF — ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS INSTITUTE FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE????), writes one last diary entry, and drifts off forever. And then a couple pages of nothing later, the story is over. GOODNIGHT, ALICIA!

Both books kept me rolling throughout (by which I mean eye-rolling but also rotfl). Maybe I will check out his next effort — I’m morbidly curious what he’ll turn out. It does leave me wondering whether I should give up on thriller novels entirely, though. Are many of the weaknesses of these novels just characteristic of the genre? Maybe I'm just holding these books to unfair standards? I'm mostly only familiar with thriller films — many of which I think are amazing — but maybe you can get away with more in a film than you can in a novel.

...I really only intended to write a handful of bullet points, but more and more kept coming to mind as I wrote, to the point where subheadings became necessary. Whoopsie.

#the maidens #the silent patient #book review #alex michaelides #thrillers #books

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thegeminisage · 3 years

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my secret galaxy brain reading of spn s11 is better than yours

or: why season 11 is good actually. this is a long-ass meta, so it's going behind the cut

some disclaimers before we get going

absolutely all of this is accidental. nobody does this shit on purpose. this is ~my interpretation~ or whatever. i'm not actually trying to argue the writers meant to do this lol. what i'm saying is that this is the way to make season 11 make sense in your brain because it makes sense in mine and it's one of my FAVORITES. it could be one of your favorites too if you stop limiting yourself

there is heavy discussion of sexual violence in this meta so read safely etc also spoilers for all of s11 obviously

unless you watched the anime, i've seen more supernatural than you have, so i'm right >:)

for the uninitiated, the basic plot of season 11 is that eons and eons ago, before there was heaven or hell or earth or humans or angels, there was only god (chuck) and the darkness (amara). amara kept destroying what god made, so he and the archangels locked her away in a cage, which removing the mark of cain from dean's arm opened. amara escaped and dean was the first thing she saw, so she spends the season using some kind of thrall over him to make him feel drawn to her and unable to hurt her, and also looking for chuck so she can give him a little payback.

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

season 11 & sexual violence

you don't need to look very far to find examples of sexualized violence and outright sexual violence on supernatural, but s11 is lousy with it. just to name a few examples:

amara's "thrall" on dean, which we will absolutely get into more later

crowley's jokes about altar boys and the tastes of catholic priests

ALLLLL the pedophile jokes made when crowley was raising baby amara

angels torturing cas and threatening to cut his genitals off, only to send in hannah (an angel who formerly had unrequited romantic/sexual feelings for him) to play good cop(/honeypot??) in hopes of making him talk

the return of lucifer, who possessed sam (spn has a history of equating possession and sexual violence) and is heavily implied to have raped sam in hell, and the MULTIPLE times he menaces sam throughout this season, including forcibly touching his soul

lucifer possessing castiel and using him to enact violence on the winchesters, his loved ones

i absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge the lucifer/crowley stuff but if you know you know

the episode with the kissing curse, using "love" as a means to deliver death

dean's possession in the soul eater episode

the "chitters" monsters involving mating, orgies, and forcible impregnation

you get the idea

i could write a whole essay on almost all of these but for this post we'll be sticking mostly to dean & amara

@marcusantonius pointed out while we were watching season 11 that what amara does to dean is basically speedrun his two major attachments - sam and castiel. she starts out as a baby, someone in need of protection, and quickly grows into an adult who attempts to romance/seduce him. the feelings dean has around amara aren't feelings FOR HER, they're feelings he has for SAM AND CAS that are being TRANSFERRED onto her through means of her power. (this is important for later.)

what amara does to dean is sexualized violence bordering on outright sexual assault. compelling him to feel drawn towards her and to protect her, frequently getting in his personal space and touching his face, and even kissing more than once when he is quite literally unable to resist (it's stated many times that he is unable to kill or even harm her, so he is completely helpless in the presence of someone who makes no secret of her intentions for him, sexual or otherwise).

dean says many times that what he feels for amara is not love or desire or attraction. he can't put a name to it at all - not once in the entire series is he able to properly define this thrall she has over him, which leaves us the audience a little confused (amara asking "what IS happening between us?" in 11.06 as a teenager making sexual advances on a grown man does give me a good laugh, because it was written SO WEIRDLY)... BUT we know that it is definitely sexual in nature, and not at all something dean wants to be happening.

this is addressed kind of strangely in 11.13. the villain of the week is a witch moonlighting as a hairdresser, who puts a kissing curse on her clients. the curse must be passed along like a hot potato - if you kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. if they kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. but eventually, a monster called a qareen will show up in the form of "your deepest desire" and kill you, and work its way backwards to the original curse-ee. in the episode, dean kisses the vic (i'll point out this was also technically done w/o her consent, though it was a very businesslike kiss) to put the curse on himself and protect her. the qareen takes the form of amara, and she gives Dean this little speech:

Qareen!Amara: You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it's cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it? Just give in.

then, at the end of the episode, after dean reveals who the qareen was for him, we get this conversation between sam and dean:

Dean: You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? Sam: She isn't? Dean: No! She can’t be! Sam: Why not? Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I'm… Sam: Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah. Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I'm not.

the "shame" part of both of these is really what stuck out to me - the word itself isn't in the second passage, but dean's vibes are absolutely filled with shame. to me, this always read as being shame about the sexual violence and about the complicity/weakness that "allowed" that violence to happen.

and as a reminder, sam is just a few episodes past the confrontation with his own rapist (he returns to the cage to speak with lucifer in 11.09 & 11.10, and canonically struggles with what happened there even after the confrontation ends). sam made a point earlier in this episode of making sure the victim of the curse knew it wasn't her fault her husband died, but the fault of the witch who cast the curse. sam is VERY emotionally intelligent, and i honestly believe that he was speaking as one survivor of sexual violence to another here. what he's telling dean is something victims often need to be reminded of: it's not your fault. you weren't complicit, or weak. you didn't have a choice. you don't deserve blame or judgment.

we've had bad guys make sexual threats at both dean and sam many times before this and a few more times after, but as far as i can recall, this is the only conversation in the entire series that even attempts to address the impact of that particular kind of violence on dean. it's short, and strangely written, but nonetheless: there it is.

season 11 & the dean in the closet

for the purposes of this post, i'm not going to go through the entire series and find examples to try and prove dean is bi and has feelings for cas. if you don't believe that then what are you doing here? we're skipping to the goods.

actually, i always got annoyed at people who read the fake-amara's speech in 11.13 (or any of the other times people spoke about dean's shame regarding amara) as being about dean's sexuality, because in my mind it was ABSOLUTELY about his being a victim of sexual violence, which was far more important to me, as it is discussed far less often.

BUT, knowing what we know now (that cas was always canonically in love with dean, and it's all but canon that dean really was bisexual), i'm willing to entertain another notion:

Sam: ...you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah.

the "evil" bit never really sat right with me as part of the narrative of sexual violence, aside from touching on dean's general self-loathing, but it fits the narrative of being closeted MUCH better. dean, a self-hating homophobic bisexual, would probably use a similar word, if not something heavy as "evil," to describe the way he feels about other men. it's a malevolent feeling. (if you're like me and ascribe to the jackles headcanon that dean resorted to turning tricks to make food money when he was underage, we could also consider the extremely fucked up fact that almost every queer man dean's ever met is someone who hurt him.)

dean is ashamed of who and what he is, and the way he feels about cas. living like that, that's violence. he lives violently day in and day out with that feeling. (and amara knows it. it's worth nothing that she uses cas to communicate with dean MULTIPLE times in this season, both by carving messages on his body and psychically, through his own connection to dean - and when dean "betrays" her to rescue casifer, she's horrified at whatever she sees in his head.)

equating sexual violence to the violence of being closeted

but what's amazing about this weird badly-written little 11.13 conversation (and indeed, the season-long plotline of dean and his shame) is that we don't HAVE to assign it to the purposes of being about sexual violence OR about being closeted. it can be and IS both.

my favorite reading of this is that BEING IN THE CLOSET IS INHERENTLY A VIOLENT AND TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. many of the same feelings are involved: shame, guilt, self-loathing. sam's comforting words to dean - that he will not be blamed or judged - are equally applicable in both cases. dean is a victim of sexual violence, and he is also in the closet, and both of these experiences are traumatic ones, and they are intermingled with each other in a big way (again, if you're into dean-turned-tricks headcanon, they are intermingled INSEPERABLY - the sexual violence being one of the direct causes of dean not wanting to accept or address his own sexuality).

the bait-and-switch

the real galaxy brain moment of this whole thing begins at the end of 11.22 (an otherwise lackluster episode that played sam's lucifer trauma for laughs how dare they ugh god whatever that's off-topic but i HATE IT) when amara and chuck finally have the confrontation she's been fighting all season for. she is attacked by witches, demons, angels, and then stabbed by lucifer himself, before she's finally on her knees before chuck, and then we get this little exchange:

Chuck: I'm sorry. For this, for everything. Amara: An apology at last. What's sorry to me? I spent millions of years crammed into that cage alone and afraid...

maybe you already know where i'm going with this. a cage isn't so different from a closet when we're working with metaphors, right?

amara talks about her grievances with chuck many times throughout season 11 - that he was spoiled, that he created the earth to stroke his ego, that he couldn't handle her as she was. and once he finally makes his appearance he tells it his own way - that he had no choice but to lock amara away, that she couldn't stand the things and people he made, that he did it to protect people. but something about THIS conversation in particular - even though it's not written into the dialogue - gives me a particular kind of vibe.

there is something innately, unspeakably WRONG with amara. i don't mean unspeakable as in very bad, i mean unspeakable as in LITERALLY undefinable. it's just like dean being unable to put a name to the pull she has over him. no one talks directly at it or about it, they go in circles around it, but facts are facts: amara simply couldn't be allowed to exist as she was because there was just something innately wrong with her. and it's this conversation in particular, the first one they have together onscreen, that really slams that feeling home for me.

the entire time chuck and amara are talking, the camera repeatedly cuts to dean - he is so visibly upset that the first time i watched this, i was certain he was about to jump into the middle of things and put himself between the two of them. we're meant to believe that dean has trouble hearing this because he "cares" about amara, but i have a different take.

i think it's empathy. real, actual empathy - not the kind of feeling that amara had to force out.

stay with me here. eventually, after chuck tries to lock amara away again, she gets her second wind, attacks him, and leaves him for dead - and as he dies, the sun dies with him, and so too does all life on earth.

in the following episode, the finale, amara finds her way to a park, where she takes in god's creation, visibly upset as she realizes that his flowers die at her touch (again, hammering home the point that there is something innately wrong with her that means she cannot live in this world), and eventually speaks with an old lady feeding the birds.

Woman: Do you want to feed them? Amara: I shouldn't. Woman: I've been feeding these birds going on 20 years now. They're practically family. And I know that makes me sound like a crazy old bat, but...heck. My husband died a couple of years ago, and my son keeps slipping me these brochures for retirement communities - a.k.a. where they send old folks to die, but not to make a fuss about it. Amara: So you hate him. Woman: Well, a little bit. Sometimes. But you know family. Even when you hate them, you still love them.

this speech brings tears to amara's eyes. what's more, she spends this entire section with her hands in her lap. after a season of killing her way through humanity to get god's attention, she is afraid to touch these birds for fear of killing them. she feels empathy for them. she and dean are connected, after all - so as soon as he began to feel true, genuine empathy - so did she.

when dean shows up to kill amara (via a bomb made out of souls hidden in his chest), she immediately clocks his plan. she practically dares him to do it, and - he can't. he is, as always, helpless against her.

what dean does instead is talk to her. more importantly, he listens to her. when she says her brother sent dean here to execute her, he tells her chuck actually didn't want this - that it was actually his very last resort. he asks her if this, the death of everything, is what she wanted, and she tells him all she really wanted was payback. again, dean EMPATHIZES:

Dean: Yeah, that's revenge. It'll get you out of bed in the morning, and when you get it, it feels great... for about five minutes. I've been there. Me and Sam, we have had our fair share of fights—more than our share. But no matter how bad it got, we always made it right because we're family. I need him. He needs me. And when everything goes to crap, that's all you've got—family. Now you might be a—an all-powerful being...but I think you're human where it counts. You simply need your brother.

what's really neat about this section, and the scene before it where amara confronts her brother, is that they mark the first times dean felt any sort of genuine emotion for amara at all - one that she didn't force out of him or one that he felt for someone else that she just took for herself. dean genuinely EMPATHIZES with her - after everything she's done to him and his loved ones, and to the people on earth, dean sees the humanity in her. that's kind of his and sam's M.O., loving monsters into men - the number of non-human adversaries who eventually became allies because of the winchesters’ empathy or liking for them or even just their influence is staggering. cas, gabriel, meg, benny, crowley, rowena, metatron, to name a few off the top of my head - and now amara.

and then we get THIS:

Dean: You don't want to be alone. Not really. I mean, hell. Maybe that's why you wanted me. But deep down, you didn't really want me... 'cause I'm not him.

(emphasis mine)

and here's my galaxy brain take: dean empathizes with amara - TRULY empathizes with her - because they're both queer (or queer-coded).

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS NUTS BUT LISTEN. this weird creepy stalkery hetero "romance" was fake on both sides all along. dean and amara are the same. that unspeakable and innate wrongness lives in both of them. they're self-loathing and furious at god for his failures and callousness, outcasts in a world that isn't for them, a world that has HURT them simply on account of them being what they are. the violence done to amara was done to her BECAUSE of this unspeakable wrongness about her - her queerness, or her queer-codedness - and we already decided this was, for the purposes of this season, functionally the same violating and traumatic experience as sexual violence.

amara's been using dean to try and replace chuck this entire season. it's some weird comphet bullshit tied in with the fact that dean was the first part of chuck's creation she ever saw. it stands to reason then that she was trying to force dean to be with her and love her the way she wanted to force CHUCK to be with her. that's part of why she started life as a baby - as someone he'd protect as he did his own sibling.

so in some weird, warped, very roundabout way, amara was enacting on dean the violence that chuck enacted on her - making him feel the same shame and weakness that chuck made HER feel when he locked her away eons ago. if amara unknowingly replaced chuck with dean, then she also unknowingly took part of her revenge on him. the only way she knew how to love someone was to force them to do it, because the only ways she had ever been loved until now involved violence - until dean and his moment of genuine empathy.

consider this final speech:

Dean: Maybe I can kill you. Or maybe I can't. Maybe if I pull this trigger, we all live happily ever after, or maybe we die bloody, or maybe it doesn't matter, because maybe there's a different way. So I'm gonna ask you again. Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me...what do you want?

dean is the only person in BILLIONS of years to ask her this! one queer to another! and it turns out that and all she wanted - the ONLY thing she needed - was to be understood and accepted by her family. immediately after this, amara summons chuck to their park, and the two of them talk it out in what is genuinely a very moving scene. amara - perhaps because of her connection with dean, perhaps because she's finally admitted to herself that she does still love her brother - sees the beauty in the world now, and feels love for it, and she doesn't want to destroy it anymore.

and at the end, after she's made her peace with god, and the sun has been turned back on, amara says:

Amara: Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

and what do we get at the end of this episode? mary winchester, risen from her grave. dean's family. and - SPOILERS FOR SEASON 12 - though at first mary rejects dean (and sam) as being the same children she remembers from 1983, after a long and rocky road, at the end of the season, they eventually come to a reconciliation where she sees them for who they truly are. it's never ABOUT being queer because this show uses the fucking hays code when it comes to dean's sexuality, but it's still about being queer!!

dean gave amara what she needed - acceptance from her family - and she gave him that back in turn. all it took, the entire time, was one SHRED of empathy from one queer to another. all dean had to do was recognize her - REALLY recognize her - not as a replacement for sam or cas but as who she really was. and he saw himself in her, and the empathy that followed was genuine because it was the most natural thing in the world. in the end neither dean nor amara needed the "romance" they thought they did/were forced to want. they never did. they only needed acceptance and understanding.

supernatural is always about family and the power of love, and this season is no exception.

other great parts of season 11

if you're still not convinced, season 11 is full of other things that make it amazing:

GOD'S RETURN. after SIX YEARS he's back, this is canon, we finally get to hear what he has to say. they did more with him in a handful of episodes in this season than all of season 15

also, something else returns after six years. i'll give you a hint: it glows hot in god's presence. it was last seen being dropped into a motel trash can.

and of course the big one: lucifer and sam. what great callbacks to seasons 4-6 when lucifer and what he did to sam in hell was actually scary and mattered a lot! lucifer returns to being scary in this and i can't get enough of it.

this is also inseparable from sam's arc involving his faith - he begins praying again, having visions again, and is GUTTED when those prayers and visions lead him back to the place of his worst trauma. he gets to MEET GOD this season. it's fucking insane

the inherent melodrama of castiel, someone loved and trusted by the winchesters, being possessed by someone who they hate and who has hurt them. you get all of the sam drama with him accidentally trusting lucifer with his soul and his brother's life, and all the dean drama where he watches the devil run around in his boyfriend. also, misha collins does an uncanny impression of mark pellegrino. it's actually really creepy

somehow, they managed to make metatron, a deeply hated villain by all, ACTUALLY LIKEABLE. for TWO whole episodes. it was NUTS

this season starts off rowena's long arc with lucifer and her lucifer trauma that eventually becomes the catalyst of her bonding so profoundly with sam <3 best friends forever <333

sam and dean bond with a pair of canonically gay hunters who DON'T DIE

billie is introduced in this season and she's super hot and cool and awesome

eileen is also introduced in this season. her arc mirrors sam's so well, it's SO good. i never though i'd care about sam and a girl who wasn't jess, but i care about them SO MUCH it makes me insane. if you don't love eileen you're wrong!

anyway, watch season 11. it's weird but it's really fucking good. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[spn masterpost]

#supernatural #dean winchester #amara #supernatural meta #destiel #in a roundabout way #i needed a 5th tracked tag lol #i stayed up ALL NIGHT writing this but im gonna be a smartie and schedule it to go up at noon when ppl are awake #liz watches spn #liz's meta #liz's spn stuff #liz makes stuff #long post #just in case the cut fails #this meta really is 3800 words long lol #as a bonus it was implied in late season 10 that amara is the older sibling #even though they retconned it and made them twins later #like amara and dean are both eldest sisters.......

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gffa · 3 years

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I know I've brought this up before, but how much of the fandom reception of the prequels do you think stemmed from the genre dissonance? That the prequels, genre-wise, are closer to high fantasy, while the OT is more an adventure/space western/underdog triumph story.

The prequels also have elements more reminiscent of a romantic period/court drama/Shakespearean tragedy, while if you consider the underdog angle of the OT, the OT also seems kinda similar to some of those inspirational movies about sports teams or something, or a shonen anime with the "Power of Friendship".

I'm just saying, these are rather disparate genres that tend to attract different demographics of people.

And not many people tend to be... great about understanding why they don't like something, much less putting it into words, or understanding that they can dislike something without that something being actually bad. (For example, instead of "I just don't really like [thing]," the usual statement is something along the lines of "[thing] absolutely sucks.")

So the usual response is trying to find (and gather) solidarity while putting down or being condescending towards any dissent, and trying to justify their own dislike. (*gestures vaguely towards pineapple on pizza*)

And historically, it's not uncommon for people to... react strongly towards things they find... different or abnormal, which they judge based on themselves, their emotional response to something, and what they're used to.

Looking at kids, this behavior is... fairly normal. "You're weird," "ew, why do you like that, that's gross," "that's stupid," and so on. A lot of kids/teens/young adults also get defensive really easily. And let's face it--adults are basically just older, taller kids who've had to deal with more of life.

(To be honest, I also get defensive really easily. A lot of people do, and it's... it's normal. The defensive reaction can be lashing out, denial, or just being passive-aggressive or staying silent and tuning it out or mentally rolling your eyes at it. But I'm trying to work on it, because just because it's normal doesn't mean it's a good reaction.)

So, what I'm wondering is whether some fans dislike the prequels simply because it's a different genre...

...but instead of realizing that, they try to defend and justify their dislike by pointing fingers and criticizing whatever stood out or looked different from the OT or cherry-picking details/taking things out of context or making negative conflations (that can be refuted).

Because it's not about logic, it's about how they feel. And people want to feel justified and validated, and we want to feel like we're right and we enjoy staying in our comfort zones. So... yeah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LOL, okay, this response is going to be really disjointed because I went off in like a dozen different tangents and even then it's not enough to cover everything, so just kind of read this in a Scattered Thoughts Nerd kind of tone, where I'm staring off into the distance because Navel Gazing Gets Me Going Sometimes. 😂 In my experience, it's sort of a mix. I don't hang around a lot of people who dislike the prequels (in the sense of dismissing them/not being fannish about them) because, well, that's the heart of my interest in Star Wars, so our areas of interest basically don't really overlap that much, so I don't have a chance to talk to a lot of people and find out their reasons or even how they dislike the prequels, in the bigger trends of fandom. I do think there's an element of what you're talking about, that sometimes people can't just dislike things because it's not their genre of choice, that's absolutely a part of it. Mostly because that's how a lot of people react to anything they don't like (and it's something I and literally everyone else has to work on), there has to be a reason for it that it's objectively bad and, like, I have experienced a lot of people getting mad because I like something in a different way than they do. And I don't mean just in Star Wars fandom, but in almost any given fandom--if someone likes something in a way someone else doesn't, if they talk loudly about it (even within their own space), then there's always a contingent of people who have to find a reason why that person is objectively wrong (or even try to make them morally wrong), rather than just shrugging and going, "We see things differently, my view on things doesn't overwrite theirs and their view on things doesn't overwrite mine." It gets more complicated in instances where fandom attitudes genuinely can be hurtful, especially when they're overlapping into the way real people are treated, likes/dislikes don't 100% exist in a bubble, especially when it comes to queer fans, fans of color, disabled fans, mentally ill fans, etc. But that there are a lot of instances where fandom culture has always been--and is increasingly so--contentious and it's hard to chill out when someone is always screaming at you, when the atmosphere of the fandom is always so intense. Further, there's also an element of how fandom has always been--and also is increasingly so--about personal resonance, personal emotional investment, interpretation, and meaning. That sometimes we identify with something so deeply that we feel attacked when someone else likes or dislikes something we feel so strongly about, something that we feel is a reflection of ourselves, and I see a lot of that as well. And this, too, often crosses over into lines of how the context of how we treat characters can be reflections of how we treat real world people, but that there's no monolith here as well. For example: I make fun of Anakin, this angers some people, because how dare I not take this fictional victim 100% seriously, despite that I have repeatedly said that Anakin is the character I most identify with, that things I make fun of him for are ones that I resonate with personally. I'm not disrespecting mentally ill people, especially considering that Anakin is not bound to a single interpretation on this front--he is not canonically mentally ill, no matter how easy it is for us in fandom to map much of that onto his character or, in my case, feel that so much of what I see in him are things I struggle with myself. By and large, the majority of the people I see (at least on tumblr) who make fun of Anakin are doing so within the same vein, that they're being silly about him on things that they personally relate to. (My experiences on this are not universal, I cannot speak for the whole of even any one part of fandom, only my own sphere of experience, but this is what I've seen.) As always, it's fine if someone doesn't vibe with my style or they find that it's not their thing because they do take him more seriously, but that preference does not make my jokes

suddenly not have the context that I relate a lot to what I see in Anakin. In contrast, the way some of the fandom treats Mace or Finn isn't just personal all the time. Not liking their characters isn't inherently racist, but the way they're consistently, consistently treated sure as hell speaks to a larger pattern of racism in fandom and doesn't come without that context. It's the same with Rey--is there a huge vein of misogyny when it comes to her character? Abso-fucking-lutely there is. Things Luke and Anakin get a pass on, Rey is raked over the coals for. Is everyone who dislikes Rey a misogynist? Not even close. Some don't like her because Finn was used as a prop for her story. Some people don't like her because she got sucked into Kylo Ren's story too much. Some just don't care for the way she was written for other reasons. Some just don't vibe with her. It's fine. Nothing is a monolith. And to circle this back around to what you're talking about--it's hard to judge, both because no part of fandom is a monolith in their reactions, but also because we're only hearing from a selection of the fans. How do you know how many people who aren't fans of the prequels, who just don't care for them because it's not their genre, but just go about their day? You don't hear from a lot of them because they moved on to things they do like, so it seems like they must not exist--except, they do, and they're just out there doing things they like more. We only hear from the people who feel the need to tell others they dislike the prequels for this reason or that reason, some valid, some less valid, etc. Ultimately, I do think there's probably a fair amount of genre dissonance for why people dislike the prequels and channel that into "they're objectively bad" and get defensive when people like them and say they were great, but only because that's true of anything anywhere. But that it's only one small slice of the bigger picture (and there's a lot of stuff that I had to eschew in the writing of this response as well because it can be a pretty sprawling topic), where there are tons of reasons and reactions that people have, as well as they're perfectly free to dislike the prequels for whatever reason they do or don't have, it doesn't really affect my opinions, unless they're trying to shove it in my face or are being a dick to those who disagree with them.

#lumi.txt #idk how to tag this

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leafinthebreeze · 3 years

Text

What Is Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing describes a tendency to use spiritual explanations to avoid complex psychological issues. The term was first coined during the early 1980s by a transpersonal psychotherapist named John Welwood in his book Toward a Psychology of Awakening. According to Welwood, spiritual bypassing can be defined as a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks."

As a therapist and Buddhist teacher, Welwood began to notice that people (including himself) often wielded spirituality as a shield or type of defense mechanism. Rather than working through hard emotions or confronting unresolved issues, people would simply dismiss them with spiritual explanations.

While it can be a way to protect the self from harm or to promote harmony between people, it doesn't actually resolve the issue. Instead, it merely glosses over a problem, leaving it to fester without any true resolution.

While spirituality can be a force that helps enhance an individual’s well-being, engaging in spiritual bypassing as a way to avoid complicated feelings or issues can ultimately stifle growth.

Signs

Spiritual bypassing is a way of hiding behind spirituality or spiritual practices. It prevents people from acknowledging what they are feeling and distances them from both themselves and others. Some examples of spiritual bypassing include:

Avoiding feelings of anger

Believing in your own spiritual superiority as a way to hide from insecurities

Believing that traumatic events must serve as “learning experiences” or that there is a silver lining behind every negative experience

Believing that spiritual practices such as meditation or prayer are always positive

Extremely high, often unattainable, idealism

Feelings of detachment

Focusing only on spirituality and ignoring the present

Only focusing on the positive or being overly optimistic (toxic positivity)

Projecting your own negative feelings onto others

Pretending that things are fine when they are clearly not

Thinking that people can overcome their problems through positive thinking

Thinking that you must “rise above” your emotions

Using defense mechanisms such as denial and repression

Spiritual bypassing is a superficial way of glossing over problems in a way that might make us feel better in the short term, but ultimately solves nothing and just leaves the problem to linger on.

Examples

Spiritual bypassing can sometimes be difficult to spot because it is often very subtle. However, looking at examples can help make this phenomenon more apparent:

Following the death of a loved one, people tell surviving relatives that the deceased is “in a better place” and that it was “all part of God’s plan.”

A woman is angry and upset about something that someone else has done. When she tries to share her feelings, her friends tell her to stop being so negative.

A relative regularly crosses boundaries and behaves in ways that are hurtful to other family members. Rather than confront this behavior, those who have been harmed feel that they need to repress their anger and remain overly tolerant.

Spiritual bypassing is also often used to dismiss the very real concerns of people who are dealing with problems. People who are faced with discrimination are often advised to simply be “nice,” “civil,” or “patient” when dealing with blatant abuse. It suggests that people can rely on individual positive thinking to overcome complex social issues.

Recognizing Spiritual Bypassing

If you say these things, you might be engaging in spiritual bypassing:

"Everything happens for a reason."

"You create your own happiness."

"It was for the best."

"It was a blessing in disguise."

"Good vibes only!"

“Thoughts and prayers!”

Before resorting to platitudes, ask yourself who the comment is really helping. Is it really giving someone comfort or insight, or is it just a way of dismissing a difficult situation so that you can feel better?

Causes

Spiritual bypassing acts as a form of defense mechanism. It protects us from things that seem too painful to deal with, but this protection comes at a cost. Ignoring or avoiding the issue can make stress worse in the long-term and make the problem more difficult to solve later on. While avoidance is a primary motivator behind this type of behavior, there are other factors that play a role in shaping it.

Wellness culture, which often perpetuates ideas of toxic positivity and permanent optimism, is sometimes a driving force behind spiritual bypassing. It teaches people that they cannot be well or healthy unless they are able to rise above any negativity. The problem with this is that negative emotions are normal and often a sign that something needs to change. Ignoring these signs can lead to worse problems down the road.

An individualistic culture that promotes the idea that people must aim for self-actualization in order to achieve true happiness also contributes to a tendency to avoid difficult or painful emotions. Rather than trying to solve problems in the environment that lead to pain, individualism teaches people that they alone are responsible for their destiny.

Impacts

Spiritual bypassing isn't always a bad thing. In times of severe distress, it can be a way to temporarily relieve frustration or anxiety. However, researchers suggest that it can be damaging when used as a long-term strategy to suppress problems.

Spiritual bypassing can have a number of negative effects. It can affect individual well-being as well as relationships with others. Some of the potential negative consequences include:

Anxiety

Blind allegiance to leaders

Codependency

Control problems

Disregard for personal responsibility

Emotional confusion

Excessive tolerance of unacceptable or inappropriate behavior

Feelings of shame

Spiritual narcissism

Spiritual narcissism involves using spiritual practices as a way to increase self-importance. It often involves using spirituality to build the individual up, while also wielding it as a weapon to tear others down.

Denying Difficult Emotions

People often engage in spiritual bypassing when they think that they should not be feeling what they are feeling. Negative emotions can be overwhelming at times. Feeling of anger, jealousy, disgust, annoyance, and rage can be distressing, and people may find themselves feeling ashamed or guilty for feeling or thinking such things.

Rather than deal with the negative feelings—and any resulting reactions to those feelings—spiritual bypassing becomes a tool for avoidance.

Just as you shouldn’t try to suppress your own negative emotions in order to avoid discomfort, you should also avoid the desire to save other people from emotions or situations that make you uncomfortable. Trying to save or shield others—either from their circumstances or their own poor choices—can also become a form of spiritual bypassing.

Dismissing Other People’s Emotions

Spiritual bypassing can be a tool to dismiss what others are feeling. At times, spiritual bypassing can be used as a tool to gaslight others into staying silent about things that have harmed them.

Rather than being allowed to express their pain, people who have been harmed are told by others that they are being a negative person. This tendency uses spirituality to reframe events in a way that lets people off the hook for the harm they may have caused.

Avoiding Responsibility

Spiritual bypassing also reduces the discomfort that people may feel as a result of cognitive dissonance. People feel uncomfortable when they hold two conflicting beliefs or when they behave in ways that are not in accordance with their beliefs.

For example, if you believe yourself to be a good person, you might struggle to take responsibility for hurtful things that you have done. Admitting that you have harmed someone else through your actions not only causes feelings of guilt—it also conflicts with your desire to see yourself in a positive light. In this way, spiritual bypassing becomes a way to shift the blame back onto the other person while absolving yourself of any responsibility.

Judging Others

Judging other people for expressing justifiable anger is a form of spiritual bypassing. Anger is a normal emotion and a perfectly reasonable reaction to many events and situations. It means that there is something wrong and that action needs to be taken to fix a situation or mend a relationship. Authentic spirituality doesn't suppress valid emotions just because they're uncomfortable.

It’s okay to feel difficult emotions like anger, jealousy, and disappointment. The key is to deal with those emotions in healthy ways.

Justifying Suffering

Another example of spiritual bypassing is using supposedly spiritual actions to justify not taking action. Examples of this include saying things such as "it's that way for a reason," "it's as nature/God intended," or "it is what it is." It lets people off the hook for taking any responsibility, because according to such explanations, these things are natural, unchangeable, or divinely caused.

Such explanations make it easy to just accept things as they are and not focus on the steps that we can take to make a difference. Some situations may be outside of our control or we might face obstacles that make change difficult, but it is important to acknowledge and accept the responsibility for what we can do to make a situation better.

Bypassing also becomes a form of victim-blaming, especially in cases where people are experiencing the negative effects of various kinds of trauma. Telling people that they should just stop being negative in order to avoid exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and other physical and psychological manifestations of stress is essentially telling them that they are to blame for their own pain and suffering.

How It Hampers Growth

While spiritual bypassing may be less harmful than some other coping mechanisms, it can still lead to negative outcomes that hurt an individual’s ability to grow as a person and fulfill their potential. It can stifle emotional development and even stand in the way of fully realized spirituality.

Spiritual bypassing can also sometimes involve participating in "spiritual" activities in order to feel superior or to get around having to take any meaningful action. Instead of talking about a conflict, you'll meditate. Instead of participating in your community, you'll visit a temple. Instead of confronting your discomfort, you'll recite a prayer. The problem does not lie in engaging in these spiritual practices. The problem is that you're using them as a shield to make yourself feel better—not for truly spiritual reasons.

This is why spiritual bypassing can sometimes be so subtle and difficult to spot both in yourself and others. Meditation can be a helpful way to deal with stress that will help you cope with conflict. Visiting meaningful places can help give you a connection to your community. Praying can give you a sense of peace or comfort when confronting an uncomfortable truth.

The difference lies in the intentions behind those actions. Are they a way of making yourself feel spiritually superior to others? Then they are likely functioning largely as a spiritual bypass preventing true growth.

Healthy expressions of spirituality help you grow as a person while bypassing creates a barrier between you and authentic growth.

Tips and Tricks

Spiritual bypassing may act as a way to protect the self from things that we find threatening, but it neglects an important truth. We cannot pick and choose which emotions we experience. Life cannot be good thoughts, feelings, and emotions alone. In order to experience the highs, we must also endure the lows.

Some things that you can do to try to confront a tendency to spiritual bypass include:

Avoid labeling emotions as good or bad. While some emotions may be negative or unpleasant, they serve a purpose. Emotional experiences are not wrong or taboo, and feeling these emotions does not make you a bad person. Try viewing your emotions with acceptance and remember that all emotional states are only temporary.

Remember that negative thoughts and feelings serve a purpose. The goal of life is not to avoid having such thoughts, it is to use those thoughts to propel positive actions. Simply putting on rose-colored sunglasses and ignoring a problem does not solve it.

Remember that uncomfortable feelings are often a sign that there’s something wrong and something needs to change. If you are always trying to reduce discomfort by simply avoiding it, the situations that are causing you distress will stay the same. Look at these uncomfortable emotions as an opportunity for transformation rather than a burden to avoid.

While spiritual bypassing makes it difficult to acknowledge valid feelings, it is important to remember that spirituality itself can be a positive force in your life. Research suggests that spirituality can often have a number of physical and mental health benefits.3 People often turn to spirituality to restore hope, cope with distress, to find support, and to find meaning in life.

Studies have shown, for example, that people who engage in spiritual practices are less prone to depression, cope better with stress, experience better overall health, and have better psychological well-being.

Don't be too hard on yourself for mistakes. Growth is a process and it's easy to fall into old habits, especially when you are trying to cope with something difficult. Spirituality can be a positive force in your life and many spiritual practices can be excellent stress management tools. By actively avoiding spiritual bypassing, you can make spirituality a practice that will help you live a more harmonious and fulfilling life.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-spiritual-bypassing-5081640

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sleeping-on-cracking-ice · 3 years

Note

hey, could you do a sfw alphabet for chota? thank you!

Yep of course! Here you go! ❤

SFW Alphabet | Chota Segawa

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character: Chota

Genre: fluff

A - Affection

(How affectionate are they? How would they show affection?)

Chota would really enjoy affection

He would try to get it from you at any chance he gets

His love language is probably physical touch, so there isn’t really a time when he’s not attached to your side

When you first started dating, he would have been really cautious about affection

He would hate making you uncomfortable, literally his worst fear

But over time, he would grow so much more confident and always be looking to hold you close whenever he can

B - Best Friend

(How would they be as a best friend?)

He’s the type of friend that seems both smart and dumb at the same time

Like he is really academically smart, but he would give the worst advice ever

He’s the comfort friend, so it would be so easy to find peace with him

He’d be constantly checking up on you and asking if you were eating well and looking after yourself

Mum friend vibes, but also dumb brother vibes

He’d be such a good study partner though

But it would be so hard to get stuff done because you would distract each other too much

C - Cuddles

(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

LOVES cuddles

Literally the highlight of his entire day is when he can lay down with you on your shared bed and snuggle close

He gives off little spoon vibes, so he would love it if you cuddled with him facing away from you and your chest against his back

But even when your sitting on the couch trying to do work, he would sit next to you and just rest his head on your shoulder for a little while

He would never get sick of cuddles from you

D - Domestic

(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking at cleaning?)

He’d probably act like he was your husband from day one of dating

He just emits that domestic vibe

And you can’t convince me otherwise, he is such a good cook

You never know where he got it from, because his mother never really taught him

But he would always insist that he cooked dinner for you both while you relaxed

Cleaning wise, he would hate it so much, but he would hate everything being dirty even more

So when he’s cleaning, he would get annoyed about it

Sometimes you would just tell him that you would do it just to save him the annoyance

E - Ending

(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I think he would actually hate breakups more than anything

He’s a sensitive person, so he would struggle a lot when it came to breaking up with his S/O

If he had to end it, it would literally take him months to say something

He’s a people pleaser, so he would absolutely hate making you upset or seeing you cry

If you broke up with him, he would be torn

He would start doubting himself, wondering if he’s good enough and think about why you didn’t love him enough

He would be quiet and upset for a few months, but after slowly getting himself back on his feet, he would eventually be okay again

F - Fiancé(e)

(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He would be very committed to you

And would literally dream of making you his wife/husband/spouse

Would always bring the idea of marriage up to you

So you would always know that he really wants to get married

He just loves the thought of growing old together and being devoted to one person for the rest of his life

G - Gentle

(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Gentle in both ways, never would be insensitive

He treats you so carefully, physically especially

Even if he just bumped into you accidentally, he would be hugging you and apologizing

(Probably just another excuse to hug you)

I also have the feeling that he’s just amazing when it comes to other people’s feelings, especially yours

Always knows what to say and when to say it

Of course, he would enjoy a few teasing jokes every now and then, but he would never step over the line

H - Hugs

(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He would adore hugs

He would never be able to get enough of your hugs

So any chance he gets, he would be as cuddly as possible

His cuddles would be super tight

Like you would have to pry his arms off of you

I - I Love You

(How fast do they say the L-word?)

He would say it rather fast

He fell for you very easily, so he would want to express his intense feelings for you as soon as possible

So he would blurt it out on your 3rd or 4th date

You would be leaning on a railing together, looking out into the ocean at night with your head leaning on his shoulder

He would sigh and blurt it out so naturally, but when he realised what he said he would smack his hand over his mouth

But after you said it back he would be so relieved

“Oh my god, I was so scared I freaked you out!”

J - Jealousy

(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He definitely is such a jealous person

But he’s the silent jealous, so he would never really speak up to you about it

He would hate to make you feel like he was mad at you or being possessive of you

But it would be small things like you spending a bit too much time with Arisu or Karube that he would get upset about

But of course he hides it, playing it off like he doesn’t care

K - Kisses

(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He would prefer hugs over kisses, but he would never deny one of your kisses

His kisses would be super simple and domestic

Like a simple peck when one of you is leaving the house

Or a few kisses before the both of you fall asleep in one another’s eyes

He would like kissing you on your cheeks mostly

But he would literally melt if you kissed his nose

Big blushes from him

L - Little Ones

(How are they around children?)

He would absolutely love kids

He would be such a good dad, you can’t convince me otherwise

He could play with kids for hours

And he has such a playful and loving personality, so they would be naturally drawn to him

He’d fall victim to their teasing sometimes though

Probably wants a lot of kids of his own, only if you want to

M - Morning

(How are mornings spent with them?)

He’s a morning person

So he wakes up so energetic and ready to start the day

Always tries to make you wake up with him

If you aren’t a morning person, be ready for him to catapult himself on top of you every morning to try and wake you

“Get up! It’s already nine-thirty and I’m bored without you!”

Makes breakfast for you every morning

N - Night

(How are nights spent with them?)

I think he would try his best to go to bed early, but would always fail

He has a lot of trouble getting to sleep, so he would always ask you to scratch his head or run your hands along his arms to hopefully help him

He would really love having deep conversations at night with you though

While he’s half asleep, he kind of just says whatever is on his mind

So sometimes he would forget what he admits to you by morning

O - Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves?)

He’d be super open

He gives off the vibes that he just doesn’t care about hiding things from people

So if someone asked him about his personal life, he would answer truthfully (unless it was something super personal)

He’d want your relationship to be open and honest, so he wouldn’t hide any aspect of himself from you

From the start, he would have been 100% honest

P - Patience

(How easily angered are they?)

He seems like the type to be super neutral in arguments

He’s somewhat a mediator, so he would hate when people fought

So due to this, he would hate starting arguments as well

If he’s angry about something, he would keep it to himself until he saw the right moment to express his concern

Wants to sort things out maturely, not in a screaming match

Q - Quizzes

(How much do they remember about you?)

I have a feeling he’s quite forgetful

He would always have to remind himself of your favourite foods, or your family members names when you go to family gatherings together

He tries so hard to remember, but it’s just not his strong point

You guys would always laugh about it, especially if it was something super obvious about you that he forgot

R - Remember

(What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

His favourite moment would be when you spent a night together in an huge arcade

He’s not the biggest gamer (no where near like Arisu), so he would find it so funny when you beat him in all the games

He would cherish this moment in your relationship because it was the date he asked you to be his girlfriend

You had such a nice and fun night together, eventually leaving the arcade and buying drinks at a bar

So how could you deny him when he treated you so much

S - Security

(How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

He’s not that protective

I mean he’s not the bravest person in the world, so he would be as nervous as you in such situations

He would try his best to always make sure you were safe, but he would also have a lot of faith in the fact that you could look after yourself

He would hate to make you feel like he was being overprotective, because he knows some people get offended by it

But he would do the usual, if you go out at night by yourself you would share your location with him

And if he was walking somewhere quiet and sort of sketchy with you, he would keep a hold on your hand

T - Try

(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

A lot of effort

Literally his favourite gift to give you would be flowers though

There would always be a bunch of flowers in your house from him

For anniversaries, he would always book out expensive restaurants to go to with you

Gifts wise, he would buy you so much stuff

Even just on random occasions like you had a bad day, he would go out and buy you a new necklace or something just as an act of kindness

U - Ugly

(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be overly critical about himself

He’s definitely the type to believe he can’t do something if he’s not perfect at it the first time

Beats himself up about failing a lot of the time

So you would have to reassure him that he was doing okay

Sometimes he’s hard to comfort, because he’s the type to want to be alone when he’s upset

V - Vanity

(How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s quite concerned

Not incredibly, but he would sometimes be worried about not looking good enough for you

It would be an impulsive thought that would hit in at the most random of times

But you would instantly know

Because he goes quiet and fiddles with his clothes to distract himself

Usually shakes it off rather quick

W - Whole

(Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would definitely be quite dependant on you

Not a huge amount, but he would feel quite lost in terms of emotions and personal connection if he had to be separated from you

If you had to go away or something, he would count down the days he got to see you again

And would call you everyday to talk to you and tell you about his day

But overall, he’s more emotionally attached to you than he’s aware of

X - Xtra

(A random headcanon for them.)

He’s such a workaholic

Sometimes you would have to drag him from his work desk to make him go to sleep

But he always says that he needs to do more, even if what he’s working on isn’t due for the next few weeks

It’s really bad though

He would sometimes neglect his mental health if he was bombarded with a lot of work

You’d always have to snap him out of it and keep an eye on him when it got too much

Y - Yuck

(What would be some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He needs a partner with the same humour as him

He has such a weird humour, so you would need to understand it for it to be funny

It’s more enjoyable anyway when no one else around you understands what you’re laughing at

In general, he’s super picky with foods

Literally wouldn’t eat some foods if they just didn’t look right to him

Z - Zzz

(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

The deepest sleeper you will ever encounter

A bomb could go off outside his window and he wouldn’t even realise until the next morning

You would get so frustrated about waking him up when you need to

He could sleep through 7 alarms, all playing at once

Only way to wake him up is to throw your entire body weight on top of him, which always gives him a great, panicky start to the day

SFW Alphabet Template

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csykora · 3 years

Text

A thought about meaningful change

I don’t want to distract from the most recent thing Benn did. I’m going to be talking about several different things, and some might seem smaller than others: I know. I’m not saying that the newest thing isn’t important enough on its own or that everything’s on the same level. But I think patterns can be useful.

(I have also made myself sick with nerves a couple times so I’m posting this as is: sorry for typos, and while I’ll stand behind my ideas there may be some sentences that are a little long or awkwardly worded).

Back in 2015, Jame Benn and Tyler Seguin were doing a radio interview.

Some of you might be thinking, “You want to talk about THIS, AGAIN?” Yes. More of you are probably thinking, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yeah, that’s what I want to talk about.

cw for discussions of sexual harassment, incest, homophobia, bullying, misogyny and transmisogyny, transphobia

So during this interview, one of the radio hosts asked Benn if he and his brother were ever road roommates. Benn said no, and the host commented that Henrik and Daniel Sedin probably roomed together.

“Well yeah…that’s the Sedins,” Seguin said.

“Who knows what else they do together?" Benn said. Everyone laughed.

“Seriously,” Seguin said.

"Dude, it's creepy," the radio hosts said, "In fact, it's a good example to future brothers in the NHL on how not to do things." Then they reassured Benn, “In no way am I implying that you have a Sedin-type vibe going about you.”

Benn and Seguin laughed. The conversation continued, calling the Sedins creepy for wearing similar facial hair, leaving nearby and spending too much time together.

When asked pointblank, “Are the Sedins weird?” Benn answered, “I don’t know. I can’t say.”

To finish the sentence he didn’t: he was implying that the Sedin brothers fuck each other.

Now, these were shock jockeys. They were almost certainly hoping Benn and Seguin would say something homophobic. That said, even shock jockeys pre-screen an interview. They’re not going to invite just anyone on the air and try this with them, because all it takes is someone saying, “I don’t know what you mean,” or “No, I actually respect Dan and Henke a lot as my colleagues” to ruin that set up. If a shock jockey thinks you’re a mark, you’ve probably said something off-air that made them think you’re a mark. And if they dug a pit in front of him, Benn is still the one who decided to stick his dick in it and make things overtly sexual.

After, the Stars stated that Benn had “reached out” the Sedins to apologize. Seguin did not reach out but was “included” in whatever Benn wrote or said. Neither of them gave a public explanation or apology. As far as I can tell the Sedins never commented on whether they received that message, what sort of apology it was, or whether they accepted it. Henrik Sedin’s only comment was, “I think it says more about them than it does about us.”

Ways that homophobia is working here:

-the idea that two men having any degree of physical or emotional closeness, even family members, is suspicious.

-Benn roomed with his brother. Course he did. The hosts spell out what he was afraid of: that the other men in the room might think he had the wrong vibe. He was so afraid of them thinking he had unmanly vulnerabilities like liking his own brother that he misrepresented the situation and pushed someone else forward.

-the idea that a man having any relationship to another man’s physical body or appearance, is suspicious.

Dressing or looking too similar to another man—which means you’ve paid attention to how another man’s body looks in order to copy him, like you’re trying to take ownership of his body, which = fucking him—is a really common accusation. Gay men are seen as lusting after and trying to copy other men’s real masculinity for themselves (but of course never quite succeeding). A man thinking that another man who he knows or suspects to be gay looks too similar to him, and so must have been watching and ‘copying’ him, is a common spark for homophobic attacks.

-the idea that any of this could have been a joke depends on the idea that two men having sex is wacky and unrealistic. Imagine if that happened, wouldn’t that be weird.

Now, someone might say, “It’s not that gay sex is wacky, it’s that the incest that is!” First, incest accounts for a lot of childhood sexual abuse, so I wouldn’t say it’s wacky either. And while it’s true that people can say awful things to different gender twins as well out of a combination of gender prejudices, in this case there were also homophobic ideas about men and masculinity at play.

Ways that power is working here:

-People forgot this fast. It was treated as settled because the Stars said it was settled. People gave “kudos” to Benn “doing the right thing” afterward, or for seeming to realize what was happening and not saying yes to the final question.

I would argue that “I don’t know, I can’t say” is somehow a worse answer to a yes-or-no question, because it means that either you want to say yes but you’re scared of the consequences, or you sincerely don’t know what to say. All he had to do was say “No.” After he said “I don’t know,” Seguin continued and said, “They are weird.” If Benn had said, “No, actually they’ve been professional when I’ve worked with them and I won’t comment any more on their personal life,” Sequin might have noticed, and Benn might have encouraged him to change his behavior. Not saying “no” was a direct, demonstrable failure to show any kind of leadership.

-This counts as workplace sexual harassment. I’m not saying a case should have been pursued: that should have been at least partly up to the Sedins (although there should also be workplace rules about what is and isn’t acceptable without the victims having to ask for it). But that’s a word we can use for this, this could have been counted as that. Sexual harassment are actions based on a person’s gender, assigned sex, sexual activity, or other qualities related to sex, not just sexual attraction. I worry that often, conflicted feelings about putting people into the category of “Sexual Harasser” lead people to think that actions “aren’t bad enough” to be sexual harassment when they definitionally can be. In other lines of work, if you talk about your coworkers fucking their twins in the office, there are rules about that: at the very least, you’ll be getting a bunch of trainings and be moved to a part of the office where you won’t see them again.

In the NHL, it seems frighteningly clear that people don’t have recourse for sexual harassment. This was discussed and handled as a “childish insult”, not harassment against two coworkers/employees. Often, there’s a logic that something is just an insult, not a ‘real’ threat, because the person who did it couldn’t possibly be sexually attracted to the person they did it to.

-In 2015 Eric and Jordan Staal were living in identical houses outside Raleigh and ‘playing’ together every night. Seems super suspicious. Unless beefy Canadian boys’ behavior is normal, and European masculinity always has to be questioned as being softer-spoken, slimmer, more intellectual, scared of heavy hitting. There are a lot of reasons you might not call Eric Staal gay—maybe you know he’s bigger than you, more successful on Team Canada than you, more popular with the other Team Canada guys than you. Or maybe you just don’t look at him and think he could be gay. Or both. Eric is positioned so you’d have to punch up at him: Benn tried to position himself closer to that kind of social standing, by pushing someone else who already doesn’t quite fit in further out. This isn’t directly in the words, so I’m not all-out accusing them of xenophobia: what I mean is that it’s always worth asking if and how and why feminization is applied to Those Other People.

There’s the eating out thing. Which he sent to teammate Jason Demers, commenting “I feel like your (sic) the kind of guy who would”.

How misogyny is working here:

-the idea that this could have been funny or interesting or worth saying at all depends on the idea that vulvas are weird. Imagine if someone willing touched a cis woman with anything but their dick. Gosh.

-There’s no good explanation for what ‘the kind of guy who would’ was meant to mean. No one says, ‘Hey, do you do this widely mocked sex act? I don’t, but I think you would, and that’s cool and doesn’t affect your masculinity at all, bro, life is a rich tapestry.’

How power is working here:

-This counts as sexual harassment again. Even if asking a coworker (or really more like someone you shift-manage or who reports to you) ‘how do you fuck your partner?’ wasn’t, saying ‘you seem like you would do ___’ is. Again, I’m not saying that Demers has to feel that way about it, but he should have had options.

-Demers was also in a new relationship at the time, so this could be harassment to both him and his partner, who had no recourse when someone her partner has to work with/for comments on her body.

-I don’t think it was intended as sexual harassment. But there’s not really a nice explanation of what he meant to say. It seems like it was intended as an insult or a ‘warning’: ‘this is the way men are allowed and no allowed to be in our group, do you know your place?’

Around that time, the Stars shared a video of Benn, Seguin, and Valeri Nichushkin. Each were supposed to say a couple lines, including their name. Valeri pronounced his nickname ‘Vall’, with a native Russian accent, more like “Wall” in English. Each time Benn and Seguin laughed and questions him and the producer cut. After a couple takes Benn said, “I thought your name was ‘Val.’”

Sequin physically turned away from Nichushkin and laughed. Nichushkin, not understanding the comment, and not laughing, turned to Benn for an explanation, but Benn only turned toward Seguin, both continuing to laugh.

It was part of a pattern of comments from observers: “If Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn are having a laugh in the locker room, Nichushkin can only guess what’s so funny.” They themselves commented on how “His English is really not good at all…A lot of times we find him just sitting there.” “(In) normal conversations, he doesn’t really know what’s going on.”

I’ll give them credit—they said they felt pity and “try to help” too. I just can’t find any examples of them doing it, compared to teammates like Sharp or Spezza who can more concretely describe spending time with him.

Nichushkin chose to burn contract time in the KHL rather than Dallas before being bought out, expressing that he no longer felt like he “belonged in the NHL.” He felt that the Stars didn’t “trust” in him, was “nervous” in the locker room, and said his family worried for his mental health because of the culture.

“There is a bit of it because I want to be part of the conversation when someone says something,” Nichushkin said. “But I don’t have enough words I know so I can join in.”

-Is it the worst xenophobia in the world? Nah. It’s not free from xenophobia, when the only joke is that someone speaks differently than you. It’s not Benn joking about his own misunderstanding to invite Nichushkin in. I often point to Tripp Tracy, who asks players to teach him words in their language and then sets up jokes about his accent so they can deliver the punchline and laugh with him.

-Is it bullying? It kind of came off like it, to make a joke about someone you know can’t understand. At least it was unnecessary, and unkind. It’s just reminding someone they don’t belong.

-It’s unimpressive. It’s deflecting. Oh, he doesn’t know what’s going on? What did you do to tell to him? My family communicate through a mix of finger-signing, Scrabble tiles, and interpretive dance: I guarantee you, if you can’t communicate concepts like “we’re going to get dinner now, you’re welcome here, we’re having fun!”, you’re not trying. Which is fine, I guess, you don’t have to talk to people, unless it’s like, your job to work with your teammates.

Wanting to ban trans*feminine athletes from competition is based on a complete misunderstanding of math, medicine, and athletics; it’s unnecessary, unethical, and unkind.

It’s an unsurprising continuation of the ideas that there’s a line between men and women and transgressing it is suspicious, that women are gross, that people who are different are shocking and funny, that social pressure can and should be used to remind people who are different that they don’t belong.

It’s a fascist use of power, which I don’t say to mean that “He is A Fascist in every sense,” but that those beliesf express a desire and a comfort with using power to control other people’s bodies, and which bodies have access to certain spaces, to maintain “purity”.

I’m not saying that anyone should have looked at any of these things and easily decided in that moment, “That’s it, he’s shouldn’t have a platform or power over other players, he’s irredeemable.” You might look at a couple of them and think, “That’s not even a problem at all.” I’ll agree to disagree on some of them, but my point is about a pattern of how this dude uses the power he’s given.

I have a phrase, or more a series of words I sometimes yell when I’m talking about subjects like this—“STRUCK A TIM HORTONS.” I shout this in commemoration of the time that Ryan O’Reilly got drunk and drove his pickup into the wall of a small town Ontario Timmies.

“Struck a Tim Hortons” is a very good phrase to read in a police report. And, also, I’m an ACoA. I’ve experienced impaired driving, I’m terrified to shaking of it, and I know that other people have experienced much worse consequences. This isn’t a perfect metaphor (it’s not an example of prejudice or violence against a class of people, etc) but my point is that I try to hold it in my heart because that’s one case where I know what it’s like to really, really want something to just be NBD. Where part of me wants to just think it was a funny mistake so I don’t have to really think about the serious implications of it, and part of me super doesn’t. I have an instinct to resolve those feelings, to come down and decide that it’s either insignificant enough that I don’t have to think about it, or significant enough that I can hate him and then also stop thinking about it, and then I can have the relief of feeling just one feeling at a time.

I don’t think it’s bad to feel conflicted learning something about someone. I think it’s important.

But the problem is that if one thing isn’t significant enough, and we decide to keep thinking someone is fundamentally Good, we often toss that thing out. So when another thing happens, we only look at the new thing, trying to decide: is this enough? And that next thing might not be enough either. So we can go on and on, until you add up to a lot of things that have each done some harm, but none of them have been enough to change how we see and talk about someone.

Now I, personally, decided that the Timmies wasn’t so bad that ROR couldn’t ever make it up to me. But I didn’t decide to feel fine about it: I tried to just put a pin in how conflicted I felt. It’s been years, and over the years I think his actions have showed meaningful change. He hasn’t struck a Starbucks, a Dunkin, or even a Caribou. There’s a pattern.

I think a lot of people who don’t really like the things Benn says or does or believes have given him a lot of chances to make up for them, because they don’t want him to really mean those things. By which I really mean that I know there are a lot of women and queer fans who liked the guy. I get it (I don’t actually get it get it, but I mean I can try to understand people coming from a very different place than I do about him).

I’ve read a lot of ways that people who are themselves vulnerable in our society try to empathize with him by imagining him as vulnerable too--he’s also experienced fatphobia, homophobia, he wasn’t expected to succeed, etc! I think that’s a wonderfully human instinct. But often I think people have more empathy for those experiences than he expresses for himself--he agrees that it was Bad to be fat and he’s Worked Hard to fit into the masculine norm, he agrees that it’s Bad to be close with another man and works to avoid it--and certainly more than he has showed in his actions toward others. If you’re going to say I hate him for saying that, I don’t--I want him and everyone in our society not to feel and do this shit!

I see a lot of people starting from the idea he is a good leader trying really hard to spin his choices as a smart strategy when he plays dumb with media, when he doesn’t give specific action plans or give public statements or apologies. (I actually agree with the first one, I think it is a strategy for him to avoid transparency and not do a part of his job that he doesn’t want to do.) It just…it seems like a lot of work to reach a pre-determined goal. It’s okay to like someone and for them to still not be good at their jobs! When I say I think a guy’s not a good leader, that’s not always the same as saying he’s a bad person. And if we keep on promoting a guy as a good leader because we like them regardless of their demonstrated leadership skills…that’s how we end up with a lot of shitty policies in the NHL.

Over the years he has consistently avoided stepping up to his captaincy and using his personal power to say things like, “No,” “Tyler, cut it out,” “This is what I’m going to do to fix a problem,” or “I believe in…” anything, really.

I really, really want to ask people to be mad as hell and advocate for the NHL to improve its code of conduct and harassment processes. I do. But I’m also tired. I don’t think, if I did ask you that, it would work. I don’t have an argument for why you should be mad at someone who’s mad at my existence. I’m not trying. I just want to encourage you, if you’re feeling the tug of feelings and just want to be able to simplify someone’s behavior and love them in simple terms, to put a pin in the more complicated parts, and remember them the next time, and look for patterns.

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chryuhwan · 3 years

Text

helloooo i’m sol (21+, they/them) and this is yuhwan. he’s an old oc revamped too many times so if he seems familiar... my b dude i’m attached i guess. anyway, i’m excited to be here! please like this post if you’re interested in plotting and i’ll hit you up. i’m not on twitter and pretty sparse on discord, so i prefer tumblr im! but if that’s difficult for you, we can figure smth out! i have a short (haha) tl;dr under the cut, but you can also read up more on his BIO and PROFILE pages.

RUNDOWN

TRIGGER & CONTENT WARNINGS: physical abuse, underage drug/alcohol consumption, (attempted) suicide (lmk if you want a redacted summary!)

BASICS — born and raised in busan up until the tender age of seventeen, when he was sent (“exiled”) to seoul to live with his aunt and uncle and attend hannam. the catalyst was a rebellious phase turned lifestyle (a lot of really reckless decisions involving drugs, alcohol, vandalism, swiping money from the tithes & offerings, u name it) and his parents deciding they a) didn’t want to deal with that and b) didn’t want that to reflect on their reputations. he’s been in seoul ever since and has never stayed in busan for longer than a couple of days.

ON RELIGION & FAITH — the only son of the head pastor of a well-known megachurch in busan, yuhwan was raised under the strict and watchful eye of his obsessive parents! he’s not religious anymore by any means, but faith (or his lack thereof) has shaped a huge part of his mentality. his lack of belief in a higher power is the foundation of his ‘if i have the confidence to own up to the potential consequences of my actions, then i’ll do whatever i want to’ mindset. he’s not going to be discouraged by a god that doesn’t exist!

ON SEOUL — hates it. yep. he hates seoul, but he doesn’t really have the drive to try to find somewhere he does like because he hates busan too. when he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, he was treated pretty poorly (still flinches when people raise their hand at him), like a glorified punching bag. hannam wasn’t any better, and the military was nice in the way prison cells might be. he hates cramped things and the only decent jogging path he knows runs him right by the bridge he almost jumped off of after his military service ended so. you know. you win some, you lose some.

ON HANNAM — hated it. yep. straight up hated it. he was pretty good about being friendly around virtually anyone who held his attention for more than a couple of seconds, but yuhwan hates the idea of hierarchies! finds them downright stifling, and he doesn’t like the idea of being placed in a box, etc. hannam felt like an oppressive social pyramid and he thought that kinda sucked so as friendly as he was on the outside, he had zero interest in making friends and has probably only willingly kept in touch with a handful of people since graduating.

ON GOSSIPS, RUMORS, AND SECRETS — he’s a tabloid writer. once a regular editor for a small newspaper, he gave that up and decided to sacrifice his morals for a higher paycheck. he blames his mom because she, as the pastor’s wife, had a lot of access to juicy gossip and liked to tell yuhwan about it. yuhwan’s probably the least trustworthy person he knows. he’s careful to keep the secrets of people he cares about, but as it turns out, he doesn’t really care about that many people. he’s friendly, open to listening, and honestly not that bad at giving advice etc., but be on your guard. wouldn’t want your dirty laundry to be aired out for the world to see, after all.

ON THE PRESENT — he’s minding his own business. really. like i said, he’s probably kept in touch with some people, but otherwise he’s not really interested in the busy lives of almost-strangers unless they’re going to get him a bonus on his next paycheck. yuhwan very much so marches to the beat of his own drum. he doesn’t care much about the world around him and only cares when it inconveniences him. like a kite without a string, he’s floating wherever the fuck the wind’s going to take him!

ON HIS SECRET — after graduating from high school, and then university, and then finishing military service, yuhwan thought he might literally lose his fucking mind if he didn’t set himself free in one way or another. ultimately, he decides he won’t be able to coexist in peace with his parents unless they change. and because they won’t change of their own volition, he submits an anonymous tip about his father’s embezzlement of church funds. in the end, it doesn’t destroy his dad’s legacy or anything; the church is still up and running—but it’s an ordeal that takes months, years of being humbled by the weight of the world. he doesn’t feel bad about it. his mom gossips less and his dad’s less of an asshole, after all. makes family gatherings that much more bearable when they’re all tired of existing!

CONNECTIONS

BEST FRIEND — just one. no dramatic childhood friends story or anything like that. just one person he actually really genuinely sincereeeeeely liked from hannam that didn’t take any effort or slow build to figure out. probably the only person he really trusts in this big, bad city. you’ve got a huge weapon in your hands! he’s not used to putting this much trust in others. (+1000 if in a two-day relationship that ended terribly. ‘i would never date you again, but i’ll still die for u’ kinda vibes)

HANNAM FRIENDS — there won’t be many, but! anyone? anyone?? he was a friendly, easygoing person (still is, tbh) during his hannam days, but was definitely a free spirit who did whatever he wanted. if you could keep up with his pace, then he might have liked your company. he’s not a fan of overly serious people unless they have the patience of a saint! (trust me, you’ll need it.)

HANNAM... NOT FRIENDS — he’s not so conscious of his surroundings as to have enemies himself, but he definitely did get pushed around for a little while when he was first getting settled. and he’s also definitely spoken out of turn and said some rude shit (not on purpose) (he just doesn’t have a filter) here and there. want to hate his guts? please do. negative energy’s welcome in this house!

COUSIN — a similar-aged cousin, also the child of the aunt and uncle yuhwan absolutely fucking abhors. they might have a contentious relationship. might even be a positive one. either way, they lived under the same roof for a few years!

TABLOID VICTIM — got a little fame to your name? have a nasty scandal you didn’t want to get out? well, now it’s out. and sensationalized, too! maybe you know it’s him who leaked it (and wrote the article, while we’re at it). maybe you don’t!

BUSAN BUDDIES — and i use the word ‘buddies’ loosely. grow up in busan? have religious parents? religious yourself maybe? well, maybe you bumped into each other then. yuhwan had the reputation of being a prim and proper pastor’s son, amiable and cheerful and so so devoted, up until he was suddenly sent to seoul. all of his bad habits and reckless adventures were largely done behind his parents’ backs (until he got caught, at least!)—you know of them? partake in them, maybe? or maybe you didn’t know, and you’re wondering why the fuck he came to seoul in the first place

BLACKMAIL — he’s not above using underhanded tactics if they’re made available to him. sometimes he doesn’t even need a big reason. maybe he found out a secret of yours and he wants a secret you know about someone else. he’ll hold it over your head! call it a little game of cat and mouse!

#thank you for the welcomes! will get to them soon #chrintro

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horrorslashergirl · 3 years

Note

Andrei and Amaria Kulokova 🐺🔪

(This shall be interesting 👀👀 and funny! Lol)

Richard Firewood

For Andrei: Richard might see Andrei as an alternative for business, when there aren't enough clients to his hotel, he might call Andrei to hide him to capture 10 or 20 people. It will be strictly business.

Richard: Cash is King. Enough said.

For Amaria: He might be on neutral territory with her as long as she respects his territory and hotel.

Richard: She better not cover the carpets of the lobby in mud.

Jackson Jasper

For Andrei: He may view Andrei as a cool guy with whom to hang around for drinks and flirt with women.

Jackson: Any drinking buddy is good company.

For Amaria: Jackson loves a pretty lady especially one who isn't afraid to get down and dirty. He likes her.

Jackson: You don't see women like her often. *smirks*

The Hacker

For Andrei: Both are fucked up into the head. Both are bloody disgusting. Both love to stick their cocks into bloody pussies. They might be on good terms... Plus if Andrei needs a certain weapon, The Hacker can provide it wirh ease.... For a good priece.

The Hacker: *looks up from his computer screen* Oh? Him? Yeah... Fucked up in the head but not as much as me. *smirks*

For Amaria: Now that's a dollface that the Hacker might like. She fucks the corpses of her victims from time to time? The Hacker does that on an almost daily basis... Almost.

The Hacker: *whistle* Pretty wild baby doll. Me like~

Dave Anthony

For Andrei: If Andrei thought he was brutal then he sure doesn't know Dave. This poltergeist was casted from both heaven and hell. Try to match that Andrei. If Andrei tries to stab or shot Dave, this evil entity will just laugh in his face and grin.

Dave: *evil smirk* Trying to kill me? *manical laugh* You cannot kill what's already dead, cocksucker... I am gonna enjoy possessing your body.

For Amaria: Now, that's something you don't usually see everyday and Dave would be intrigued by Amaria and her so called Gods. Interesting little human girl.

Dave: Oh? You believe in Gods.... Well.... I am the biggest motherfucking God ever, baby girl.

Samuel Grayson

For Andrei: The moment Samuel senses his aura he wants to puke his guts, because Andrei screams of sins all over and just his presence into the same room will annoy Samuel. Let alone Andrei trying anything with this poltergeist. Andrei will turn into a chew toy for Samuels hellhounds.

Samuel: He stinks of sin and he is a disgusting piece of walking meat on earth. *snarls*

For Amaria: Her aura is so so much more different than her brothers and to say so... Samuel is a little intrigued by her aura, sensing all the sadness from her past and there is just something about her beliefs that he finds.... Adorable?

Samuel: She is... Interesting.... But no... I am no God. These are too high words for me, little one.

Azol

For Andrei: Did I say Dave is absolutly brutal? Well Andrei... Meet Azol. This evil entity will view Andrei as the most amusing plaything ever. Ironic, huh? Much like the other supranatural ones, Azol feasts on humans desires and he will absolutly use Andrei's desires against him. He will haunt his dreams and drive him insane.

Azol: Ohhhh... You think you are brutal, piece of sloppy fucking used cunt. *chuckles evily* I am gonna have so much fun with your soul... I am sure after you die... We all are gonna fuck you into hell like the cocksucker I know you are. *laugh*

For Amaria: Azol will be amused by her beliefs into her Gods, teasing and haunting her, making her kill as many people as possible. Azol found himself new entertainment.

Azol: Oh... Never seen a human kill that much and with such a passion. *grins evilly* See that man, little one... He needs to die.... Listen to your new God and you will live on forever.

Bahini Talibah

For Andrei: Andrei is everything that Bahini hates into a man; he is despicable, horrible, disgusting, annoying, sleazy and someone she would absolutly not stand. He better not get near her or else he will suffer a slow, horrible and painfull death that will make Andei crawl on the floor in his own blood. Having your flesh and muscels be slowly melted by Bahinis piercing gaze isn't something to look forward to.

Bahini: His aura is simply making me anxious. He better stay away from me. He pisses me off!

For Amaria: Bahini might find her believe in Gods fascinating since she herself believes in the Egyptian Gods. They might have conversations about their Gods and such. Plus Amarias quiet and misterious aura is very calm and gives Bahini tranquility.

Bahini: She is a fascinating young woman... Also Anubis told me she has a beautiful and lightfull soul.

Azment

For Andrei: This demoness lust will destroy Andrei's for sure... And I advise him to not get close to her because at the end of the night he will be dead by the time he climaxes.... I mean... If he wants a horse dick up his ass that's his problem. Azment will over power him with ease.

Azment: Ohhh He sure is handsome and I can taste his lust... Such delicious carnal and mouthwatering lust.

For Amaria: Azment sees this small but deadly woman as very beautiful and she can appreciate such brutal display for passion of certain things... Like Amarias passion for Gods.

Azment: Beautiful and powerfull young human woman... Such beauty... It gives tingles down my spine. *sways her tail from side to side*

The Shadow

For Andrei: His personality and the vibe Andrei gives off is simply annoying to Shadow. Isn't it enough he has to deal with that idiot of a HACKER maniac? Now he has the stand this Russian Incompetent. He cannot work with these idiots around.

The Shadow: *looks up from cleaning his scalpels* I cannot stand this morron. He better not stick his nose into my business unless he wants to end up on my disection table.

For Amaria: She seems quiet and she keeps to herself so that is good on Shadows books. Her past might make Shadow sad because he has went through abuse too... Different but still abuse. He might be interested into her topics of Gods... Since he is one to feast on information and likes to learn about all type of topics.

The Shadow: She is... Fascinating to say so... But at last she is quiet.

Mitch Carson

For Andrei: This feral man will view Andrei as straight up enemy and he won't hesitate to turn the Russian into a raw steak, considering all that mass muscels and blood. If Andrei knows what's good for him, he better keep off Mitchs territory or else he will be the new target for crossbow practice.

Mitch: *growls, all body muscels ready for him to strike*

For Amaria: Considering her small body stature, he might be intrigued by her but still cautious, like a feral animal of the deep dark woods. If she brings him human flesh or bones for him to chew on... She Might.... Just might turn Mitch into a feral lap dog that will maim anyone who dares to touch Amaria.

Mitch: *growls then purrs at her, tilting his head to the side curiously*

Gerome Montana and Axel Friedrich

For Andrei: Army friends? Maybe? They might share some drinks some army stories. Three mercenaries sharing bloody ideas of killing. I guess. They might be on neutral relations with Andrei, but since they are in Miami and Andrei hates the heat... I doubt it. Down for a one night stand after drinks? Perhaps.

Gerome: Haha Cool Russian Crazy Dude!

Axel Friedrich: His personality is a bit too much. *groans*

For Amaria: You don't see such deadly women that often and they might find her very intirguing, but that's about it. Plus.... I don't know if she would like Miami with the heat and all that.

Gerome: Beautiful badass woman! Sexy!

Axel: *facepalms at Gerome* I suppose I can appreciate a woman who can handle such big weapons like a machete.

Damiano Liberato

For Andrei: He finds him very disgusting with no taste at all and Andrei simply makes Damiano have a horrible taste into his mouth. He cannot stand camo!

Damiano: Isn't it enough I have to stand my creator and her camo army clothing!? Now this man! I cannot believe Richard can be close to this disgusting brute. Ugh.

For Amaria: Very beautiful woman but a shame that she has no style into dressing up. Damiano finds the Kulokova siblings too.... Dirty.

Damiano: A lady shouldn't dress like that. Pants? Seriously... Just no.

Bambi Miller

For Andrei: She thinks he is a pretty cool dude with whom to share drinks and maybe have some knife throwing game. Plus, she thinks she thinks Andrei is pretty badass with his faux hawk. They might have some fun nights with drinking vodka and throwing knife at people.

Bambi: Pretty badass Russian stud. *giggles* only my knife is bigger than his. *winks*

For Amaria: Bambi thinks Amaria is very pretty and she appreciates women who can stand up for themselvs and beat the guys around. Plus her machete is so cool.

Bambi: She is very beautiful... Its true what they say that Russian women are very gorgeous.

Xaviera Lah-Mo

For Andrei: He is her ultimate and only love, so of course she simply adores Andrei. It comes natural. He is her precious and wild Wolf.... And to think that the first day they meet, Xavi wanted to throw his ass into the blizzard outside. Andrei is her soulmate and the only man she has feelings for... And the only man she won't shot with her sniper rifle into his balls.

Xaviera: He is the light of my life, the man that make me be strong with each passing day.... My wild and handsome Wolf..... My beautiful soulmate. My everything.

For Amaria: Being Andrei's sister, Xaviera cares for her and tries to calm Andrei down to think clearly when she is around. Xaviera tries to be the refere between these two without getting between their fights. Both Xavi and Amaria use a sniper rifle and Xavi would love for her sister-in-law and her to have a shooting practice together. Just enjoying some quiet time.

Xaviera: She is a hard person to understand if you don't see through her soul, you need to take your time to understand her because she means well... She is not as bad as one might think. She is just misunderstood like we all were at some point in life.

Akshay Lah-Mo

For Andrei: Andrei is Akshay's best friend and soul brother to say so; they fight, they bicker, they drink, but at the end of the day they are best friends and always there to watch eachothers backs. Akshay might seem that he hates Andrei, but if he really hated him, Andrei wouldn’t be alive.

Akshay: The mutt? Yeah... He is a good man... When he isn't his usual idiot self. *grunts*

For Amaria: Akshay knows she is Andrei's sister and that their sibling relation isn't that good. Akshay hasn't really interacted that much with Amaria but if he has to say his opinion he would say that he is beautiful and misunderstood... And very deadly for such a small woman.

Akshay: It really shows she is the mutts sister... She can maim you and your corpse would just misteriously disappear.

Decebal Avram Chirilă

For Andrei: Decebal has lots of fun with Andrei and they are two knuckleheads and daredevils. Andrei had done so much for Decebal that none has ever done and the Romanian is very gratefull for it, hench his loyality towards the Russian. Decebal didn't expected to get along with Andrei that good but he absolutly adores him... And the moments they fuck.

Decebal: Ohhhh! Vodknockers!? He is like a fun and crazy little brother... He sure has a temper which is funny. Haha *smirks* His libido matches mine and he has a great cock *laughs*

For Amaria: Decebal knows that she is the way she is because of her past and he isn't one to judge or make fun of her believs and such. Everyone can believe in whatever they want. What's the problem with that? Plus, he thinks she is very gorgeous.

Decebal: Oh? That wild woman? She is very beautiful, like hella beautiful that she could put an army of women to shame. *laughs* But seriously now... Just like Xavi said... She is only misunderstood. *soft smile*

Alexander Chirilă

For Andrei: Alexander simply feels very uncomfortable in the same room as Andrei and it doesn't help that the Russian was Alexanders first. Alexander finds it so so frustrating that Andrei has no sense of other peoples personal space, especially his.

Alexander: Oh God.... Not him again. He has no respect, he is an absolut degeranted wanker who doesn't understand the concept of personal space and he frustrates me so so much it makes me so angry. *blushing red face and huffs* But.... I suppose... Like my big brother said... He can be nice... Only I never saw that!

For Amaria: Alexander enjoys that she is quite and she seems to have some concept of other peoples personal space. Plus he is glad she isn't like her big brother... Who acts like a sexual offender. Amaria kind of reminds Alexander of one of the tallest mountains, surrounded by mist... Especially that certain quietness.

Alexander: I suppose she is alright... She seems like a very strong one with a certain specific will... And she is pretty..... B-But not like that! *blushes*

Nadia Nikolina Chirilă

For Andrei: She thinks she is a good man, on certain topics but on other hands.... She views him as a stupid kid with disgusting behaviors and most important.... A coward. If he thinks he is so mighty, why not take someone his own size or bigger, not some small and innocent woman. Andrei is only lucky because of Decebal..... Or else he would have been castrated the moment he meet Nadia. Period.

Nadia: *looks up from her painting* He is a stupid child.... But means well... On certain moments.

For Amaria: Nadia thinks that Amaria is a very intirguing and gorgeous woman, small but with a fierce spirit that will cit through you just like her machete... Nadia appreciates greatly a woman who won't take anyones shit, especially a mans. Amaria reminds Nadia of a pit of big sharp deadly ice icicle, that she saw the first month she moved into Greenland. The pit looked so so beautiful but if you stepped to close you would fall into said pit and a painfull horrible death will follow.

Nadia: Beautiful and Deadly... Such a majestic combination. *paints a womans shadow with mountains into the background*

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