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fahbee · 8 months

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Theory: Why did Aziraphale agree to the Arrangement?

There's two moments in Aziraphale's and Crowley's history together that we haven't seen yet, that I think have the potential to change the way we see them and their relationship to each other.

They are: The Fall and the Arrangement.

This post is about the latter.

[Slightly edited because I completely forgot the Good Omens book states that the Arrangement began "somewhere around 1020".]

Here's what we know about the Arrangement:

It started around 1020.

By the time of 1601 it had been in place long enough for them to have used it "dozens of times". I take this to mean at least 30 times, but probably closer to at least 50 times. I assume that the upper limit is likely under 200, else I would have expected Crowley to say "hundreds of times" rather than dozens.

The parameters of the Arrangement are that they "stay out of each other's way" and "lend a hand, when needed." It involves both of them performing blessings and temptings.

Crowley proposed the Arrangement under the justification of convenience. No sense for both of them to be uncomfortable in damp places only to cancel each other out, etc.

Aziraphale rejected the Arrangement because he didn't want to lie to Heaven. This was centuries after Aziraphale already lied to Heaven in order to save Job's children, so we know the problem isn't with the act of lying itself.

From this, we can deduce that Aziraphale is willing to lie to Heaven/other angels when he considers the matter important and/or righteous enough, and that sparing himself inconvenient travel and accommodation, etc does not rise to that standard.

By 1601, we know that Aziraphale no longer worries about lying to Heaven ("dozens of times now") but that Aziraphale does worry about the risk to Crowley if Hell were to find out what they're doing. "They would destroy you." Yet this protest seems more like a routine warning than a truly serious objection, and Crowley rolls over it easily. "Nobody ever has to know."

While it's possible that Aziraphale could have changed his mind about the Arrangement solely due to decades (centuries?) of Crowley asking him to reconsider every time they encountered each other while on the job, that would be a boring waste of an opportunity for character and relationship growth. IOW, I don't see Neil choosing to write that Aziraphale finally decided to go along with the Arrangement just because he got tired of Crowley asking.

No, the better, far more satisfying choice is for something to have happened that changed Aziraphale's mind. And it couldn't have been something to do with the actual work of the blessing and tempting. In 1601, the job involves a few minor blessings and tempting a clan leader to steal some livestock - nothing at all like the life-and-death, killing-children-to-win-a-bet circumstances which led Aziraphale to lie to Heaven for the first time.

There has to be some other reason then for why Aziraphale grows comfortable enough with lying to Heaven that it doesn't even warrant a mention as a token protest in 1601. But what does merit a mention? "If Hell finds out... they'll destroy you." Crowley's safety.

So what could possibly be so important, so righteous, as to justify not only lying to Heaven on the regular, but also risking Crowley's very existence? What could have possibly happened to make the Arrangement, with all its attendant deceit, risk, and danger, something that Aziraphale willingly participates in, over and over and over again, for centuries?

My theory? He does it for Crowley's happiness.

We know that as far back as 3000 BC at the flood/Noah's ark, Crowley had no stomach for the death of children. 500 years later he defines himself as a demon who goes along with Hell as far as he can and killing Job's kids (both human and goat lol) is going too far. He not only refuses to kill them, he performs miracles to save them and return them safely to their parents. And before Aziraphale figured out the trick with the goats, Crowley was clearly determined to keep his actions secret from both Heaven and Hell.

I think Aziraphale finally agreed to the Arrangement in order to give Crowley an excuse to do good. I think something happened in 1020 to make Aziraphale realize that Crowley sometimes needed to do good, but couldn't allow himself to do good unless he had an excuse for it.

The Arrangement is just another dance between them, another ritual they perform for seemingly plausible reasons but which actually has a much deeper meaning behind it. On the surface, the Arrangement allows them to cut down on redundant and/or unpleasant tasks. It's true purpose though, in my opinion, is to give Crowley the excuse he needs - even if it's just to himself - to balance out his demonic work with good deeds. Either Aziraphale does his tempting for him and he's spared from having to do evil deeds at all, or he does his own tempting but gets to cancel it out by doing blessings on Aziraphale's behalf.

Does Crowley realize it, though? I don't know. Prior to s2 I would have said of course he does. But we know now that Crowley has a huge blind spot when it comes to Aziraphale. He didn't even realize how clearly, obviously in love with Aziraphale he was until Nina bashed him over the head with it. Aziraphale's motivations and feelings, especially as regards Crowley himself, seem to be a complete mystery to Crowley. It would not surprise me to learn that Aziraphale made up some flimsy excuse for why he changed his mind about the Arrangement, and Crowley simply accepted it and never questioned it further.

In conclusion, I think Aziraphale entered into the Arrangement for Crowley's benefit whether Crowley realizes it or not.

#Good Omens #good omens meta #about 'the arrangement'#crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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slayerchick303 · 10 months

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QAF characters and how much I trust them

Emmett Honeycutt- My one true love! I'd trust him with the keys to my entire life. Emmett is who I aspire to be as a person. Not in like his career, love life, or anything. I'd just love to be as kind, confident, and pure of a human as he is. That being said, I think he's too optimistic to give any truly sound relationship advice (whether it be towards a friend, significant other, or family). But I'm just a cynic. On that note!----

Brian Kinney- I love Brian, and we have a lot in common. That is possibly why I give him zero trust. Brian would absolutely leave you stranded at an airport because he forgot to pick you up. At best, he'd be incredibly late because he got... diverted. I don't think he'd be as bad after season 5, but he's still not remotely reliable. (When I say I'm like him, it's not in this way! I'm not a flake like him). If he eventually showed up to your party, you could trust him to stay for about 5 minutes unless it was his kind of party. He'll show up to your anniversary gathering drunk with 2 random leather daddies he met at the bar. That being said, you can always trust him to liven a dead event by spiking the punch. He'd do that until a better offer came along, that is.

Justin Taylor- All the trust! He might be slightly late and have no food in his refrigerator when you come over, but he will never leave you in a lurch. He'll give you honest feedback and help you see reason before you do something stupid. And if he thinks something you believe in is worth doing, he'll stand at your side and help... even if it means plastering up posters all night when he has work in the morning. He'll tell you when your significant other sucks and that you should break up with them.

Michael Novotny- If you'd asked me in season 1, I would have given him so much trust. After season 5, however, my opinion changed. He would absolutely get preoccupied with his family and not be able to help you. He'd forget to call to cancel plans, too. As much as Michael is less of a doormat in season 5, I would still worry he wouldn't give me honest feedback. Plus, his whole judgemental streak was not cool. Those are heavy cons brought up in season 5, but I like to think he gets his head back on right, and he starts being a good friend and better person again.

Ted Schmidt- Ted is amazing in a crisis. He's the person you call at 3 AM when your life has fallen apart. He'll pick you up, help you save whatever you can, and draw up a ten point plan on how things are going to be okay by the time you're going to sleep on his couch. He'll assist you with phone calls and forms. Ultimate trust! He's fun at parties if you're looking for the chill area. He's much better after his self-esteem glow up in season 5. I couldn't hang with season 1 Ted. I'm already the -1,000 self-image person in the group. Granted, I have legitimate reason to be that way when Ted absolutely does not. That being said, he's another person who can't be objective with relationship advice. Most especially romantic advice. Both his and Brian's political opinions are straight-up garbage.

Melanie Marcus- She's another person I'd give the keys to my life to! If ever I needed help, I'd call her. I'd probably call Teddy first because he has less going on in his life, but Melanie would be my second call. She's competent in virtually everything but home renovation. She'll be honest with and will support you. She'll represent you pro-bono if you ever get into legal trouble. She'll rage with you at town halls to make sure everyone is protected and safe under the law. She'll plan events to bolster the community. She's even fun at parties. She earns all of the trust! The only thing I worry about is her absolute refusal to not go 160 miles per hour all the time. The woman needs to learn when to take a break. She has a vice grip desire to control things, but I'm pretty laissez-faire about everything, so I'd be glad not to have to make decisions.

Lindsay Peterson- While she shares many of the same qualities as Melanie, I trust her less. For one, she's the queen of getting invested in something when all prior experience has told her it's never going to happen (i.e. that her parents will love her unconditionally). Her priority is family, which is 100% valid. But unlike Mikey, if she or Mel were going to have to leave you high and dry, she'd at least call you. Most likely, she'd find someone else to make sure you were covered if neither she nor Mel could be there for you. She is a little prudish. She's often focused on propriety and the approval of others, so that's not great. Especially since I'm a people pleaser to begin with, so that's like adding gasoline to a fire. She would give sound relationship advice, though I think she's too forgiving of bad behavior *cough* Brian *cough*

Ben Bruckner- He's obviously very trustworthy and would do everything possible to help a friend. However, he does get tunnel vision and is primarily focused on family and work. At least he'd call if he had to cancel on you. That being said, I feel like his relationship advice would either be too nebulous or encourage you to just forget things and move on. He's also a Debbie Downer if you achieve something he aspires to. So, if you need a cheering section, I wouldn't trust Ben fully.

Debbie Novotny- If you need a cheering section, she's the woman to call. She'll come with literal bells on and bring half the diner with her. She would try (and absolutely fail) to give worthwhile advice. However, she pries, and she puts her nose in everyone's business. She'd force you to listen to unsolicited advice and demand to know personal details about you whilst spilling hers that you don't want to hear. That being said, she'd give you the shirt off her back and let you stay at her place indefinitely, provided you meet certain rules. She'd be the mother every person deserves (and I certainly wish I had), minus the occasional bout of horrible hypocrisy.

The top people in my trust list are Ted, Melanie, Justin, and Emmett. Who are yours? Tag me if you do this!

Inspired by @buffy--the--vampire--slayer 's post.

#queer as folk 2000 #queer as folk us #queer as folk #qaf #qafamily #qaf 2000 #qaf us #brian kinney #justin taylor #michael novotny #emmett honeycutt #ted schmidt #melanie marcus #lindsay peterson #debbie novotny #ben bruckner

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neonscandal · 2 years

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

OMG! I feel like I'm about to reveal way too much of myself here but your question is greatly appreciated. I had to take a minute to really think about this as I forgot every bit of media I’ve ever consumed so I mostly focused on recently consumed media that I could recall in a panic. I'm sure as soon as I post I'll be like "damn, I forgot about X!"

Heaven Albright - Stupid & Contagious by Caprice Crane

This book was so funny to me when I was younger I literally handed out copies of it. Looking back, it’s probably because I immediately identified with her penchant to overthink a situation but she’s also able to finesse even if it is by the seat of her pants. In fact, she only seems to shine when she’s really trying because otherwise she’s doing one embarrassing thing after another. But when it’s time for her to kick it up, she could be in her head about what she’s doing but make it seem effortless and nonchalant. She can be a little shit when she wants to be but she’s filled with great ideas, if she only had the chance to knock one out of the park. At the beginning, she finds herself perpetually down on her luck but she eventually finds her way along and I loved that for her (even if it is bumpy).

Aslan Jade “Ash Lynx” Callenreese – Banana Fish by Akimi Yoshida (anime only)

I am incredibly fond of Ash and, while I want to read the manga for some semblance of closure, I’m still regularly devastated by the anime so I can’t yet. The man is a survivor. He is the grass that grows through cement sidewalk. He tripped over banana fish and never shied away from the task of tracking it down and stopping it at the source, no matter how large the conspiracy got or how much he lost. My heart feels heavy any time I see a Banana Fish edit or any fanart, even the happy ones. He is tough as nails and yet, as soft as an exposed nerve which is really apparent with Eiji’s introduction. I think it showed how, despite what he’d been through and the face he wore to hide its impact on him, he was still incredibly hopeful that he’d one day be loved and accepted by someone sincerely. (side note: yes, I got sad thinking about this.) He was incredibly brave because he had no other choice.

Satoru Gojo – Jujutsu Kaisen by Gege Akutami (manga and anime)

Gojo deserves more grace than some of the JJK fandom gives him, I swear. The man is deeply traumatized from a very young age and puts on a brave (and puckish) face just to keep moving forward. I don’t love him because he’s overpowered but him being overpowered is part of why I love him. He hails from one of the top three jujutsu families and could be a shitstain like Naoya Zenin but he isn’t and I think that’s part of why so many people misinterpret his character. There was a tweet, since deleted, (I think from @bcllamyy) that asserted that the reason why a lot of people assume Gojo is a douchebag is because they can’t imagine being strong and beautiful and not being a garbage human. Gojo is canonically strong and attractive but is a relatively good person. He takes care to save students in hopeless situations and preserve as much of their youth as he can because he didn’t have that growing up. I’ll concede that this isn’t purely altruistic, he has a clear objective in mind in taking these kids under his wing, but that’s about as much as you can expect from someone who didn’t have a proper childhood himself. His power was both feared and coveted by others and it left him incredibly lonely until he found an equal, the one and only person he could have by his side. It’s the take-it-with-a-smile trauma response for me. Heavy is the head and all. Oddly, this is my comfort character rn so things are not going well.

Levi Ackerman – Attack on Titan by Hajime Isayama (manga and anime)

Levi Ackerman refuses to die because he’d have to go back to hell and, quite frankly, most devils don’t know how to properly clean up after themselves. Levi being picked from the gutter and growing to become Humanity’s Strongest Soldier despite his diminutive size and destitute origins is so ironic. Putting his life on the line and fighting for those that condescend to people from where he came from, he carved out every inch in the path to where he is now. This is a man who does not die and carries the weight of his fallen comrades into every battle. While seemingly cold and angry, he is, in very small gestures, shown to be incredibly compassionate and forlorn. I think he just knows that if he thought about the circumstances of those living within the walls or even of those he’s left behind on the battlefield, that he would find no meaning in trying to escape the walls or get out of bed at all.

Hermione Granger – Harry Potter by She Who Must Not Be Named (novels and movie)

Given the author’s penchant to be a shit-eating TERF, it’s hard to admit that this franchise was such a big part of my childhood. I primarily identified with Hermione and her predilection to be an insufferable know-it-all and her tendency to stick her nose where it didn’t belong. Considering the author, perhaps she intentionally made Hermione’s creation of Society for the Promotion of Elfish Warfare (SPEW) seem so outlandish and mockable in universe... but that’s beside the point. Hermione, regardless of her social standing in the muggle world, came into the wizarding world at a disadvantage and showed everyone her ass as she bested them time and time again. Not only that but, rather than make herself small after being called a “mudblood”, she continued to soar and was loud and proud about advocating for others who were also disadvantaged. She could be the brightest witch Hogwarts had seen and still be unlikable, bushy hair and all. Despite not being of the wizarding world initially, she made a point to be in the know and was voraciously studious, frequently navigating things better than Harry who came into the wizarding world at the same time with a similar level of working knowledge but largely remained clueless. Baby girl had to drag him through the plot and to the point most of the time.

Tina Belcher - Bob's Burgers

Because same. BIG same. Tina is the mood, the vibe, the moment. Add the rest of the Belcher family to this as well tbh. Tina, like the rest of the Belcher family, is unapologetically her. Regardless of whether freaky friend fiction is the way to go, she unabashedly puts herself out there again and again despite her groan inducing anxiety. She knows she's that girl even when navigating the ups and downs of whatever life (or that B Tammy) throws at her.

Katsuki Bakugo – My Hero Academia by Kohei Horikoshi (manga and anime)

I’m not caught up on the manga yet (so close but so far) but Kacchan’s character has a special place in my heart. I think as the reader, we’re meant to be stymied by him as we view the story through Deku’s lens because Deku lacks the comprehension of a non-biased narrator. Understanding this, I came to love (or maybe pity) his character while reading the manga because, when I was an anime only, I found his abrasiveness toward Deku to be incredibly unpalatable (because it is). However, reading through the manga as slowly as I am, I recognize that they’re both emotionally constipated kids being weaponized by some invisible hand while trying to understand and reframe their connection to one another. Literal children grappling with the burden of being heroes and finding it’s not all it’s cracked up to be while self-actualizing under duress. Casual. Bakugo is fierce, prideful, aggressively loud, and largely dislikable. He shoulders public criticism from adults who don’t bother to understand his dysfunction but continues to press on in the right direction because he’s idealized this for so long and wonders if he's, in fact, deserving or good enough. I think what’s captivating about his character in the manga is that he’s presented as a very static character but he’s slowly being exposed as a more dynamic character in tandem with Deku's (power) evolution.

Dean Winchester – Supernatural

There’s something about a closet nerd himbo who calls his vintage car “baby” that speaks to me. Dean Winchester, very much brawn over brain, maintains a doe-eyed innocence and sense of wonder for the things he missed out on while growing up under the “tough love” of John Winchester and I love that dichotomy. You never get the sense that his unconventional lifestyle bothers him or that he feels he lost out on anything but then you see the bravado falter when he allows himself to enjoy something other than the thrill of a one-night stand. The biggest things that come to mind are when he was like a kid in a candy shop in the bunker having found a place to set up roots and him sleeping easy when he was able to settle down with Lisa. Both always struck me as so sad. I think back to the parts of himself that he hid from Sam (like his time in the halfway house) and for the delight he had to find in small comforts like pie. Family was all Dean knew and he grabbed at it desperately and to his own detriment time and time again.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood - Trigun by Yasuhiro Nightow (anime only)

I love the contradiction of Wolfwood's character. He can, for all intents and purposes, be considered a sinning holy man though he does have morals. I have a soft spot for antiheroes (see: love for Wolverine and Deadpool) though I'm not sure Wolfwood cleanly fits into this classification. He is certainly someone who will do "bad" things to satisfy a "good" goal though. For lack of a better word, his innuendos suggest he's led a less than savory life before becoming a man of the cloth and he is clearly fine with toeing the line when someone is watching. But make no mistake, the ends justify the means when he needs to make a game time decision on what to do. There's a reason that cross is a burden to carry and he's just the man to bear it. At the crux of everything, he has a sympathetic heart and this was the first anime that made me cry.

Nobara Kugisaki– Jujutsu Kaisen by Gege Akutami (manga and anime)

This explanation contains a spoiler for the manga so I put her at the bottom in case you wanted to avoid.Nobara is a refreshing departure from the static nature of a shonen tritagonist. For one, she has zero romantic interest in Itadori nor Fushiguro and I don’t see that changing, especially after their initial introductions. She lets them as time progresses but she carries her own weight and isn’t a damsel in distress relegated to do nothing toward her own rescue. She can independently take down a Special Grade curse (and pull off a black flash) while feeling and looking good doing it. Nobara’s femininity is something she’s vocal about, questioning why kicking ass can’t be feminine, and she safeguards it from antiquated notions from the likes of Mai and Momo. Though hailing from the country where her stubborn individuality stuck out like a sore thumb, she’s unabashedly a material girl and so fiercely confident, she dares anyone to look down their nose at her. I can’t imagine we’ve seen the end of her story since she’s such a vivacious character. Maki also deserves to be on this list but I tried to diversify source material. Plus, a lot of what makes her awesome would be an even bigger spoiler if you’re not caught up.

Looking back on this list, there's a distinct theme of main character energy but also a significant lack of diversity. I realized that some of my favorite pieces of media didn't necessarily have a breakout character in my mind, either. This was such a great exercise, thank you for asking! Who are your favorite characters and why, @elaine2895?

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kabannoneko · 1 year

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Game Thoughts: The Rewinder by Misty Mountain Studio

I was supposed to post this review right after writing it on stream, but then I forgot about it.

Anyway, we put this on our Steam wishlist ever since I got into this Chinese point-and-click game fixation. And at some point, we decided to buy it (despite having a lot of other games in our backlog).

I did not regret it. - Kochan

What’s It All About?

You play as Yun, the last of the Rewinders, people who are given the ability to alter timelines by delving into spirits’ memories. One day, Mr. Black and Mr. White give you an assignment: to investigate a strange happening in Reed River Village, where several people have been stuck outside of the reincarnation cycle. When you get there, you soon find out that this first assignment of yours is more complicated than it seems.

World/Character/Story Development

At first, I thought this would be a typical saving people from a big problem sort of thing, but it breaks my expectations from the main character, Yun, alone. I would go so far as to say that he’s a pretty interesting character.

For one, I thought he would be the dutiful kind of guy, but it turns out, he’s more pragmatic, I guess? The reason he works for the gold from Mr. Black is to just have something shiny on display, not even for something to buy. (Then again, if you think about it, gold ingots don’t have any value in the Underworld, and therefore wouldn’t have any value to him, who was raised his whole life in the Underworld.)

He also has quite a bit of sass, which I like, and it’s blended with a bit of naivete as well. Being raised in the Underworld, he has almost no idea of how things work above ground.

I also find it interesting that even though he probably has a different set of priorities from the average human, he’s still pretty human. Like, he can still die, he gets hurt, and he also feels some insecurity regarding his abilities/duty as a Rewinder. And for me, that makes him pretty relatable.

It’s not just him who’s interesting, all the other characters have their own charm. And for something that deals with spooky stuff, even actually scary stuff, there’s a lot of love involved in this story.

You see a lot of relationships between people, most being romantic in nature, a few friendships, and even familial ones. And it’s nice that when you go back in time, you get to see how these relationships develop.

If you think about it, the problems in-game happen whenever these relationships are torn apart. For example, if Ash goes out without bringing Amber along, Amber eventually becomes a victim and becomes a resentful spirit. Another example would be Rusty becoming a beggar and eventually dying to the Yaoguai because he was ashamed of going back to his mother.

And in a way, solving the problems and altering timelines involves reconciling these relationships. Even Yun and Light go through something like it, despite being the main characters.

I guess that’s what makes this game beautiful for me.

Graphics

From the moment you open up the game, you’re treated to lovely pixel art. You’ve got scenic views reminiscent of those Chinese ink landscapes, and I love how they sometimes make use of foreground and background layers that move along with you.

It’s also worth noting that we played this windowed, and even then, you could still recognize objects. One set of objects that really made me realize this would be the animal stones when you go in this cave maze. You could tell for the most part what animal they are even if you don’t look at them up close.

Related to this, I also like that important things that you can pick up or interact with are highlighted without being too obvious that it would stand out like a sore thumb. Some hints are also visible but subtle.

Audio

The title screen alone has really good music (should I call it pretty???) and I knew from that point on, I was going to have a good time listening to the soundtrack. And it was even reinforced by the little tinkling sound when I moved the cursor between the options in the main menu.

All the themes and tracks are pretty nice, and my favorites are the theme for the Ghost Market (SUCH A BOP), and the music that plays while you’re exploring the cave maze and setting up the spell (this one makes good use of local instruments). The ending song is also something that you may not want to skip as the credits roll, kind of like that song for Devotion.

The worst part, though, is that the audio tends to reset to its default levels whenever you open up the game.

Gameplay

For the most part, it’s your usual point-and-click. You move your character by either using WASD or clicking with the mouse. Then you click on certain objects of interest with the mouse (the cursor changes depending on what it’s hovering on, which is nice.)

Sometimes you get dialogue choices, but it’s not that much of a dilemma, as most of them aren’t really choices per se, but questions of some sort. Some choices also lead to the same result anyway, so nothing too puzzling.

And speaking of puzzles… They’re the meat of the gameplay, the problem and puzzle-solving. I like that the devs had this in mind, as they made the puzzles challenging enough to make sure you pay attention to details and notes (some of which are given by the game) but not too difficult that you’d give up entirely.

The kind of puzzle that stands out as unique in this game is the memory stages, where you change the timeline by influencing what people do. And you don’t do it by actually moving things around. You do it by getting potential motivators and giving it to the right people at the right time.

It’s nice that you can start a section of the stage over in case you mess up, lessening the frustration of having to redo the whole thing from the start. Also, after you beat the game once, you can revisit stages and get flowers that you haven’t, since those are key to the secret good ending.

The worst puzzles for me, personally, were the rewind shrine puzzles because you have to do everything in reverse. Also, there’s the spinning wheel puzzle, which took me a few tries, and also the quick time events with the big spider, who killed me a few times as well.

Overall

It’s a beautiful game, with charming characters, lovely art and music, and solid gameplay. I would recommend it to anyone who is into point-and-clicks and loves lore and how things and events are intertwined. It also presents a good challenge, puzzle-wise, and makes you think quite a bit.

Pros

Great story and characters

Beautiful art and music (love the songs)

Challenging enough puzzles that aren’t too likely to make you ragequit, with enough hints to help you progress by yourself

Has some replay value

Cons

Audio resets to default loudness whenever you start it up

(If you’re going to stream it) it stops when you go outside the game

You can get it on Steam.

#video game review #the rewinder #misty mountain studio #point and click #point and click adventure #point and click games #chinese mythology

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martianbugsbunny · 2 years

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OUAT Thoughts Pt. 17--Episodes 14-15

I have watched through S2E14; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

Ended up saving Andor for the weekend, so I had time to watch OUAT. Enjoy!

—Okay no. I’ve had it up to here with villains winning because they hold one person hostage to get an object the hero possesses. This hostage is usually a person who would die for good, if given the choice—actually, these people often say something along the lines of “don’t do it, you’ll be letting the villain win.” Good is not saving one person’s life by screwing over everyone else. Cora having that dagger is always going to be a worse option than one person dying. It’s literally not even a debate. Perhaps the idea of such a conundrum is to point out that the hero’s weakness is being too good—but then it also tacks on stupidity and shortsightedness, free of charge. If a villain threatens to kill a hostage if they don’t get their magical world-destroying object, the hero is not the badguy for choosing to keep the object and let a single person die.

—Aaaaay, Mrs. Patmore! It’s a shame she had to die so soon, but she was gonna die either way.

—Also, heroes are pretty dumb for ever believing the villain won’t just kill the hostage anyway. Like, I wouldn’t gamble the fate of the world or the fate of hundreds/thousands of others for the possibility of saving one person.

—Y’all, I been so steamed about the cliches of Good v. Evil that I forgot Mr. Gold is dying!…And now my emotional pain returns.

—The only possible bright side is that there is the world’s tiniest possibility of Mr. Gold and Baelfire being un-estranged eventually.

—The other very dark side (you know, besides death) is that Mr. Gold will probably end up under Cora’s control. Or she’ll kill him. Man death is persistent.

—Rumplestiltskin’s soldier uniform was pretty.

—His wife is an arse. She told him that she would rather he died. I have no love for him pulling a Thomas Barrow, but I would rather have my spouse home with an injury, self-inflicted or otherwise, than dead.

—Young Snow White’s dresses are gorgeous. A little stiff, perhaps, but so well decorated.

—The Good Queen’s red dress was stunning, also. Once again, well decorated.

—That Seer girl was creepy as heck. It’s not bad enough that she has eyes on her hands, she also has to have stitches all over her face?

—Then she grows up and Rump gives her the High Five of Destiny and she dies. GG.

—I understand Bae not wanting to talk to Mr. Gold. He’s got a load of trauma. On the other hand, Mr. Gold has been searching for him and manipulating the entire world to find him for centuries. On another hand, a lot of Bae’s trauma is heavily associated with magic. It’s complicated and messy, but my end goal is to see Mr. Gold apologize properly, start reforming, and to have a friendly relationship with his son again.

—Snow White having a brat moment as a kid is a good move. My number one love for Snow White is that she is deeply and fundamentally good, but a child does not start that way. That’s simply not how human beings work. Her becoming a better person wasn’t an especially complicated, but that’s fine, because she passed a hard test for a good reason.

—After Queen Elizabeth’s funeral, Snow curtseying to her mother’s body made me a lil weepy. (My mom, too. She loves royal stuff from all over the world. She watched all of the important moments from Her Majesty’s funeral proceedings live.)

—Rump’s story now has a bit of a cliche in it, but this one I don’t mind much. He’s become like the parental person he always swore he would never be like, and that is such a real and possible thing that I like seeing it. It’s easier than we like to think that we might turn out like people who have disappointed, which is ironic because we spend so much of our time worrying about it. But it is possible to do better, even if you do fail yourself in such a manner, which I hope is portrayed for Rump in the following episodes.

—I don’t want Snow White to be a bad person. Emma is our morally dubious hero for the series; Snow’s appeal, as mentioned above, is that she is good. She turns the other cheek, she pulls for the other person, she believes in good itself. Of all the people to turn dark, she’s the one I wouldn’t want—but I suppose that’s why she was picked. Also, that might put her into direct confrontation with Charming, which I’m not relishing the idea of.

—Bae’s a Lost Boy. That’s fun. Are we gonna find out that he’s actual fricking Peter Pan at some point, too?

—If we can have stuff from story sources that aren’t Grimm/Anderson, we should get some Nightmare Before Christmas characters. Not as mains, but as a side adventure into another world for a limited time.

—Bae’s fiancee can’t possibly be a regular person. He’s known about Storybrooke for a while, and he requested to be notified when the curse was broken, so obviously he expected to come into contact with those people again. I don’t think he’d really drag a regular woman into that disaster.

—I also don’t think that A) Rump would draw a map to his dagger, or that B) Belle would be stupid enough to leave that notecard in her purse. Which leads to the possibility that the map was a fake, which is frankly the most plausible idea.

—Hiding the dagger in the clock hand was brilliant.

—It’s fun that future sight is being depicted as a burden. It’s easier to have a Seer be just an omnipotent person who gives advice, but in a vague or cryptic form, and who really doesn’t seem to suffer for it. The idea that the future is simply too much for one person to see is an interesting take.

—Henry eating his way across the eastern seaboard has been just about the only part of that journey that isn’t entirely tragic. Cinnabon, hot dog, pizza…what next?

—Probably some weird-ass pirate food. Whatever Hook has on board his ship.

—I want to know more about whatever beef Cora had with the Good Queen. Were they sisters? Were they friends? Is that even going to be explored later? So many questions! —I feel very smart having figured out that Bae was Henry’s father.

—Thanksgiving would be awkward for these people. I kind of want to see that.

—Pinocchio threatening Bae with a typewriter was hilarious. I mean, it was supposed to be serious, and it kinda was, but come on!

—Still wondering where Pinocchio has wandered off to. But at this point I don’t expect to ever find out.

#once upon a time #ouat #mr. gold #rumplestiltskin #Emma swan #Henry #Snow White #prince David charming #bae #baelfire #Cora #the good queen #lost boy #pinocchio #martianbugsbunny reviews

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superhero--imagines · 3 years

Text

Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here!

A/N: I can’t always do tags since these parts are long but if you want to be tagged just lmk @thecrazytealady

* Honestly, everything feels so normal

* You’re sitting in the stands of a football stadium as a sea of graduates pass in front of you

* Well it’s mostly normal except for all the stares you get

* “You’ll get used to it” Kate tells you from your right side, you’re not sure when it happened but somehow you’ve become her favorite little member.

* “Sometimes we stare back to mess with them” Irina says from your other side with a teasing grin.

* Irina also seems to really like you, she’s probably you’re favourite

* While everyone else treated you like a child (which in a sense you are), she treated you like an adult

* You hope you can save her if things go exactly like they did in the book

* You’re hoping your close friendship with Edward changes things

* “Oh look there they are now-“

* And right on cue Alice was called first, then Edward

* An entire group of cheers erupt from your section, a few stands above you sits the entire Cullen clan

* Apparently the rest of them have already “graduated”, Alice and Edward are playing a year younger

* You catch him after the ceremony on the -pretty cold- field along with your-

* aunts?

* You’re not really sure what the official family structure is.

* “So what is this, your thirtieth time graduating high school?” You whisper to him after handing him his graduation present

* Some sheet music you know he’s been eyeing and a card that says “you only graduate once”

* You think he’ll appreciate the joke

* “It actually only my sixth” he grins, he so close you can feel a ghost of a breath on your ear

* You notice a couple of boys, adorning similar green graduation gowns staring at you. When you meet their eyes they hastily look away.

* “Hey Edward, what are those guys thinking right now?”

* He follows your line of sight and grins even wider

* “They’re thinking that it suddenly makes sense why I’m not interested in anyone at this school when I’m already dating someone as beautiful as you”

* And if you were anyone else you might have realized how you and Edward look when you’re together to everyone around you

* And it might have been the first sign that things have started to veer of the future you imagine

* But of course you don’t, and you say:

* “Really? You want me to believe two teenage boys used such eloquent language?”

* He laughs

* “I might have picked some.. kinder diction.”

* You both laugh, another private joke that would be referenced for years

* “And where’s my graduation gift?” Alice asks, you hand over a brightly wrapped package, it’s a magic 8 ball and a Chanel scarf, Edward already read Alice’s mind and assured you she would love it.

* “That’s hilarious” she says with a laugh, she hasn’t even opened the package, already seen what’s inside with her gift.

* “Are you coming to our graduation party tonight?” When she notices your confused expression she gives a pointed look to Edward. “You didn’t invite them?”

* Edward rolls his eyes

* “I didn’t think it would be that fun,” he looks to you and explains. “It’s just a party Alice likes to throw to help us fit in better.”

* “It also to commemorate graduating and going to college, which is Infinitely more fun.” She grins, a hand on Edwards shoulder

* He turns his attention to you, his mouth quirked in a lopsided smile

* “Do you want to go?”

* The party scene in Eclipse sure looked fun

* “Sure, sounds like a fun time.”

* It’s decided you’ll drive up with Edward after they all split up, and go to the party with him.

* You’re telling Kate and Irina when they get a look on their face

* “Is that not okay?” You wonder if it’s about Tanya, and how maybe she doesn’t like you spending so much time with Edward.

* “No it’s fine it’s just... will you be alright with all those humans?”

* You had done fine on the stands, but a house party was different, you guess it’s probably easier to eat someone when there are so many dark corners and so many suspects to pick from

* You wrinkle your nose, honestly you don’t get what the big deal is, sure they smell kiiinda nice, but the scent is comparable to one of your deers.

* Also, who knows where these people have been and what they’ve been eating. The thought of eating an alcoholics blood makes you scowl.

* “I think I’ll be fine” Irina laughs, and rests a hand on your shoulder

* “We’ll tell the others, do you want me to bring you a drink later on?”

* You shake your head, you ate a little bit more since you were going to be around so many people today.

* “I should be fine, Edward will probably drive me home, but if not I can always run”

* You always forget you can run faster than a car now.

* “I doubt Edward will refuse the opportunity to spend more time with you.” Irina smirks and you roll your eyes

* You’re both just friends, stuck in family’s where everyone seems to be in a relationship (except for you that is)

* There’s only so much you can take watching Eleazer and Carmen’s pda

* “I’ll see ya later” you excuse yourself to find Edward, who seems to be talking to a group of boys

* “So what’s their deal, are they your cousin or something?”

* “Um... they’re a family friend”

* Looks like Edwards confused about your family structure too

* “They look older are they in college?” Another asks, Edward hesitates, well you are older but you’re not really in school

* “Are you hooking up with them?” Edward winces

* “No we’re not close like that.”

* You decide now is a good time to intervene in the conversation

* “Hey, are you ready to go?” Edward looks relieved to see you

* “I’ll see you guys tonight at Alice’s party” he offers a polite smile before leading you towards his car

* When you’re finally out of earshot, you say

* “You know, I always thought we were the closest of friends” You think he’ll grimace at your teasing but instead he grins.

* “Do you enjoy being the subject of several teenage boys imaginations?”

* “I mean, it’s not-not a little bit flattering.”

* On the drive back to his house Edward takes you through town and points out every mundane landmark like you’re on a safari tour

* “And that is the grocery store I never visit, and next to it is the diner I had to pretend to eat food at during my mandatory “senior breakfast””

* “So what you’re saying is, this is the worlds’ most boring town.”

* “I would say boring adjacent, the town we’ll move to next doesn’t even have a major grocery store”

* He’s definitely talking about Forks.

* You must have killed quite a bit of time with your impromptu tour because when you get to the party it’s in full swing

* You and Edward stand in a corner and play your favorite game

* “Blonde girl in the corner.” He says

* Edward picks someone, and you have to guess what they’re thinking. You’re never right but it’s still funny

* “Hmmmm I’m going to say she’s thinking... ‘This is what all the hype was about? Can’t believe I’m wasting my Saturday night HERE.’”

* He laughs and shakes his head

* “She’s actually thinking about how the object of her affections hasn’t noticed her once, and has been spending all his time with someone else instead.”

* You totally miss the meaningful look Edward gives you.

* You make a face, unrequited love was the worst

* “Well that sucks, I wish there was some way we could help.” Edward only shrugs

* “They’re human problems, for us even if the person we love doesn’t love us back, we just wait a a decade or so, and they usually change their mind.” He grabs your untouched red solo cup

* “I’ll go get us some more drinks.” For a second you wonder if maybe Vampires can drink alcohol, but then you immediately deflate.

* Oh right, the human act, you almost forgot.

* You’re standing by yourself when the “unrequited love” girl from before approaches you, another girl with hair the color of caramel in tow

* “Hey, I haven’t seen you around before, do you got to our school?”

* Any person could see this was a hostile encounter

* anyone except you that is

* “Nah, I’m taking a gap year right now.”

* “Oh?” Miss. Unrequited lights up at that. “Didn’t get into your first choice school?”

* “No my parents died.” You say it causally, but they both freeze at that. So much has happened, colleges and your parents are the last thing in your mind. You notice the reaction though “It’s been a while though, so everything’s fine now”

* You give your best smile and the girl in front of you seemed flustered

* “How do you know Edward?” Miss. Caramel asks, while her friend takes a long sip from her cup.

* “Well- I guess he’s a family friend, but really I met him through Carlisle.”

* “Through Carlisle?

* “Dr. Cullen,” you quickly supply, to them he’s just the local handsome doctor. Not exactly someone who they’re on a first name basis with. “Yeah, Carlisle talked about Edward a lot when I was in the hospital.”

* Before you can scar either of these girls further, Rosalie appears by your side

* “Hey! Glad to see you made it!” She gives you a side hug and turns her amber eyes to the girls in front of you. “Amber, Bethany glad to see you. What are you guys talking about?”

* Both of the girls fall speechless in front of her, probably from her beauty you guess.

* You still get the urge to shield your eyes when you look at Rosalie.

* “Edward.” Rosalie rolls her eyes

* “Of course, the most perfect man alive.” You snort at that.

* “Perfect my ass, I saw him snort drinking yesterday and he sprayed the whole counter top.” Rosalie raises a well groomed eyebrow

* “Really?” A smiles tugging on her lips

* “That’s not even the worst part, do you know he took 43 minutes to clean it up.”

* Rosalie laughs, and the other two look at you with awe.

* “Edward Cullen snorts?” The caramel Coloured hair one, Bethany asks.

* “To be fair I did say a pretty good joke”

* “What was the joke?” Amber asks, and you grin.

* “What did the vampire say to the girl?” They look at each other and shrug

* “What”

* “See you next month” The two girls don’t seem to think it’s good, but Rosalie is dying of laughter

* “He must have hated that!”

* “Oh I’m sure he did, that’s why I said it” Rosalie laughs even harder

* By the time Edward comes back, it’s basically just a two way conversation with you and Rosalie roasting the ever loving crap out of Edward, with two humans eagerly watching

* “One time while we were eating Edward just kept complaining about how “existence is agony and how none of us have a soul” like dude, we’re eating, could you just chill for a second please?” Rosalie says and you laugh

* “I have the perfect Edward impression” you clear your throat and set your face to the best “I’m constipated and existence is agony” face you can manage “I’m an outsider. No one can understand me. No one has thoughts like I do. Existence is agony”

* if Rosalie could die she would have died of laughter, she’s hunched over and every time you think she’ll stop laughing she starts another wave.

* “To be fair, I don’t think anyone has thoughts like mine” You turn to see Edward behind you, he’s actually got an amused smile as he hands you a red solo cup.

* “It’s Henrietta,” he whispers in your ear. “ I figured all the laughing might have made you thirsty”

* “For an outsider like yourself, that’s awfully kind of you.”

* The laughing did make you thirsty, it also explains what took him so long. You wonder if he ran all the way to your house to get you a drink.

* Rosalie doesn’t say anything just grins as she watches you two, Edward’s eyes flick from you to her, and you wonder what he’s experiencing right now

* You’re not going to lie, his narrative of mind reading was your favourite part of midnight sun

* “Do you want to dance?” Well that question came out of nowhere.

* “Sure”

* Queue you and Edward awkwardly waltzing on the makeshift dance floor

* “Who taught you how to waltz?” Edward asks as you step on his feet yet again, you’re glad he’s a vampire and can’t feel pain.

* “You. Right now. I’m learning from the school of life experience.” You grin and he rolls his eyes

* “Here,” he picks you up, and places your feet on top of his. “Better?” You nod and laugh

* “They’re kind of cute right?” Rosalie says to Amber and Bethany, a twinkle in her eyes. Amber sighs.

* “Yeah they are.”

* Rosalie feels kind of bad. She didn’t mean to rub it in her face, but she doesn’t like anyone being mean to you. She already kinda liked you from The game night , and after tonight she REALLY likes you. It’s nice to have someone else on the “roast Edward squad”

* “Oh look, it’s Bradley from the swim team, should we go over and say hi?” Bradly was definitely single, and Rosalie loves playing matchmaker “Sure”

* Edward drives you home at the chaste time of 11:30

* “Did you have a good time tonight?” He asks, walking you to the front door. Ever the gentleman.

* It’s not like a thing alive could hurt you anymore.

* “Yeah it was really fun!” He let’s out a sigh of relief and a nervous smile.

* “That’s good, you’ve been seeming kind of... off lately so I was worried”

* Ah, so he had noticed. You had been feeling off lately. Only four more years with him at most until he moved somewhere far away.

* “Yeah, I’m just a little jealous I guess.”

* “Jealous of what?” His eyebrows thread together. And you sigh.

* “You get to go to college and I can’t.”

* You really are jealous about that, While you’re stuck in the house, Edward will get to move forward and make all sorts of relationships and memories

* His mouth purses, and you feel bad. You shouldn’t have said anything, there’s nothing he can do about it after all.

* “Ah, don’t worry about it, I’m just glad to be here with people who care about me.” That only makes him frown more. But he offers you a small smile.

* “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says and then he does something really unexpected:

* He kisses your forehead, before retreating back to his car. You watch his car wind away down the circle driveway from the porch. A hand on your forehead where his lips touched and a flutter in your heart.

* Man, Edward was so unintentionally smooth, no wonder Tanya was still hung up over him

* Wait, was Tanya still hung up over him?

* Somehow you found her behavior not consistent with someone with unreciprocated feelings

* The days pass on by, Edward’s around more now because it’s summer break.

* Likewise trips to the Cullen residence are also more frequent because it’s summer break

* You oddly enough spend a lot of time with Rosalie, you mostly roast Edward but occasionally you reminisce about human stuff

* “What do you miss the most?” She asks and you think for a minute

* “Probably Italian food, maybe alcohol” She let’s out a moan

* “Oh my god, how good does mushroom ravioli in a creamy Marsala sauce sound?”

* “Good enough to kill for”

* By extension you also get close to Emmett, but in a totally different way

* “Alright hit me with everything you’ve got!”

* “Uh are you sure about this Emmett?”

* You’re both in a clearing about thirty feet apart

* “Yeah, just show me what you’re made of” He giving you a wicked grin, no doubt glad to have someone new to spar with.

* You shrug, he is asking for it

* He doesn’t even make it a foot forward before he crumples to the ground. You’ve been holding back so long, it almost feels good to not have to contain all your body’s grief

* You reel it back in when he taps out. You expect him to look at you like you’re a monster but he just grins

* “You’re really something else kid”

* You even get close to Esme who assists you in drawing up a schematic for a barn, and Jasper helps you build it.

* “I think the door should go here” he tells you

* “But then it would be facing the fence and that doesn’t seem right”

* He scratches his head and you stare at the architect sketch in your hands

* “It’s supposed to be right here” Alice tells you, already searching through the future for the correct placement.

* And of course you and Edward continue your piano cat and mouse game, where you each start a piece and wait for the other to catch up to your playing.

* Maybe it’s because things are going so well that you can’t help but wonder what went wrong with Tanya and Edward

* So one night, when you’re sitting together in the library, you ask her

* “Tanya why do you hate Edward” She sputters

* “I don’t hate him!” You raise a skeptical eyebrow and she sighs “it’s just- it’s embarrassing !”

* She tells you about how Carlisle had told her about his son, and how he was the last to be without a mate, and was very depressed

* “I thought of it like I was doing a service you know, we would date for some time and have a brighter perspective on this life.”

* You can already guess how this story ends, but you ask “So what happened?” She huffs

* “Well he flat out rejected me, told me I wasn’t his type, can you believe that? A forever 17 year old telling ME I’m not his type.”

* Yeah for a woman like Tanya who was every man’s ultimate fantasy that does seem pretty mortifying

* “Is it-“ you meet her eyes “is it okay that I’m friends with him then?”

* Her eyes soften and she beckons you into a hug

* “Of course it is little one,” she kisses the top of your head “and if it ever happens to grow into more than that that’s okay too.” You wrinkle your nose

* “I wouldn’t bet on that Tanya.” She rubs your shoulder

* “Well you never know, and if that happens, and for some reason he’s lost his mind at tells you you’re not his type don’t take it personally, there’s something seriously wrong with that boy.” You laugh

* The days pass by in a blur.

* Edward starts college studying veterinary science, and every day he comes back and teaches you what he learned

* “Sometimes I feel like I’m getting more out of this than you” he tells you as you do his homework

* “It be like that sometimes”

* You start experimenting with other animals blood, mostly chickens, ducks, and geese.

* You also have a moose now so that’s cool

* After many faithful years Henrietta passes away. You stayed in the barn with her all night, and planted a pine tree over grave.

* “All things die in the end huh?” You whisper as you stand over the first deer you befriended, and Eleazer rubs your shoulder

* “Not us” he whispers

* “Not us” you repeat

* You and Edward are lying next to each other in your bed, both of you pretending to sleep

* “What was it like when you turned?” Edward’s the one break the silence. He always is when you do your dreaming sessions

* “It was... nice” it really was, the venom was warm like a blanket, lulling you into a peaceful last sleep. This surprises him.

* “Are you some kind of masochist?”

* “Well what was it like for you?” You roll your eyes. He goes on a long descriptive tangent, but in short: it was absolute agony.

* “Well that’s weird, I wonder if Alec had some kind of special venom or something.” He flinched at the mention of Alec but doesn’t say anything else.

* The days pass on, just as they always have, but something starts to feel off. Both in your household and in the Cullen’s house. Some sort of tension

* You think about asking Edward or Eleazer about it, but decide against it.

* Maybe you’re just being paranoid

* One day you’re getting blood from the kitchen, when you notice the entire coven is sitting on the kitchen table

* Weird, but maybe they do this all the time and you just never noticed.

* “(Y/N) can you come here for a moment?”

* Well crap

* They all ramble over each other for a few minutes, and you only catch bits and pieces of what they’re saying

* “Everyone here loves you-“

* “It won’t be forever-“

* “Carlisle might even get you a blood bag or two-“

* “Enough!” Tanya roars and immediately the others fall silent, she looks at you with warm eyes and a kind smile

* “(Y/N), the Cullen’s are leaving,” ah, so it’s already time for them to go, Tanya explains how the Cullen’s move around more often than your coven does, on account of Carlisle’s job. Well you knew this was coming. It was nice while it lasted

* “-And that’s why we think you should go with them”

* Wait what.

* “You want me to leave?”

* “No of course not!” Irina shouts, wide eyed, she’s sitting the closest to you. “It’s just-“

* “We see the way you look at Edward,” Eleazer says. Oh not this again, how many times do you have to say it. YOU BOTH ARE JUST FRIENDS.

* “Like you want what he has.” He finishes

* Oh

* “We’re too late in the cycle to send you to school, Irina and Kate have already gone, and it will be another ten years before we decide to move.” Carmen says, her teeth digging into the flesh of her lip. “A lot of things could happen in ten years,”

* The Volturi could want you back on ten years

* “so we think you should go with the Cullen’s and get an education and have a normal life-“

* “Normal-adjacent,” Kate interjects, because life was never going to be completely normal for you ever again. Carmen grins,

* “Normal-adjacent life, you’ll get to have friends, and you could study whatever you want, you don’t have to learn secondhand from Edward.”

* “And you can come back whenever you want!” Kate reassures. “If you decide you don’t like it, and that it’s not what you want, you can always come back, we’ll be right here.”

* They all stumble over each other to reassure you that it’s your choice, and if you decide to stay that’s fine too. But there’s only one question on your mind

* “Do the Cullen’s already know about this?” The table falls silent.

* “Yes, they do.” Tanya says

* “And what do they think about the arrangement?” All eyes trail to Eleazer, so he was the go between for your Covens

* “I think they’re all pretty excited, Carlisle wanted you from the start.”

* Carmen sucks her teeth and lightly slaps him on the arm. “What it’s true, you know Esme’s been cross with him ever since she met them, she wants you too.”

* They’re all looking to you waiting for an answer. You’re not sure what the right thing to do is.

* You’re not stupid, you know things have changed from the original story line, you know the Volturi isn’t going to want Bella as much now that they have you.

* But still... you do want an education, a chance to do everything the way you always imagined

* You also kind of want to see Edward and Bella’s love story play out. Especially now that he’s your friend

* Also you think you should really deter him from watching her sleep, that crap was creepy as hell

* You sigh, there’s really only one choice

* “I’ll go with the Cullens’.”

#twilight #twilight imagines #twilight reader insert #twilight headcanon #twilight imagine #twilight saga #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagine #edward cullen #Rosalie cullen #Emmett Cullen #Alice cullen #the cullens #midnight sun #alec volturi #Volturi imagines #superhero—imagines

681 notes · View notes

animatedrapture · 3 years

Text

RINTOBER: [ Achilles' Heel ]

word count: 2,222

suna rintarō x reader

tags: ambiguous end, implied major character death, angst, implied sexual intercourse, toxic relationship, detailed pain(?)

song: achilles come down - gang of youths

a/n: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL because... death...?

a HUGE thank you, once again, to my wonderful wife, love of my life, bby @toffees-main 🥺 for proofreading the final piece and preventing me from sounding like a dumbass like, twice. also, thank you to @newfriendjen and @kaitycole for beta-reading the initial draft!

"Rin, Rintarō, I love you!" You shouted from the bleachers; a proud smile decorating your features as you cheered for him right after he'd hit the ball to the other side of the net, securing EJP Raijin another point—so close to winning.

His gaze and yours were two opposites of a pole with a pull unparalleled—a pull science can only wish to decipher. He finds you as he rotates through the set up and there's a beam in his eyes, making him break out into a grin you just know he couldn't find it in himself to reserve for later.

That day, that match—Suna Rintarō was named the MVP of the game. He owed it all to you and the swell of his heart with each cheer he heard from you; your voice distinct as if it were the only one that mattered in that whole gymnasium. Perhaps, at least that time, you truly were all that mattered to him.

But not anymore.

The first—the first was the lack of replies, the dryer replies. I love you's met with Love you's and very little effort to hide the lack of sincerity beneath. It began through texts until it was the quick, snipped tone laced with the parsimonious manner he answered you. The act of it was much like an attempt to deprive you of water until you're but withering rose in his grasp that he would rather replace than try to plant again and save.

Just how long were you willing to go without the water you needed to stay alive?

"Rin, love, I'll prepare dinner for us tonight, come home early, okay? I'm cooking your favorite!"

"I'll try," was his reply as you watched each of his hasty movements through your shared bedroom.

"I prepared you a bento, too. It's on the kitchen counter," you continued as he attempted to ignore the way you looked at him similar to the way you look when you're lost and searching for something. He hums in response, and just as he was about to reach for the door, you call out to him, "Rin, where's my goodbye kiss?" in the usual tone you would pull back then when he would forget and pepper you with kisses in retaliation, offering an apology before heading out.

He looks back at you with exasperation, "I'm late, Y/N." He doesn't wait for you to answer before he has the door shut close.

That's how you know he also forgot the food you prepared on the kitchen counter.

Foolishly, the answer to the question was that you were willing to wait until your next life for his love to drown you into bliss again. It's that answer that's disrespectful to the mystery of reincarnation—but you're everything Suna Rintarō wanted you to be; that is, if it was a fool he wanted you to be, you would play the part better than any award winning actor to have ever lived could. Even if it was a miscreant he wanted you to be, some sort of heretic to the laws of the world and the conditions of love. You'd be everything he asked of you. After all, who were you if not his other half?

Who were you if not water to shape into whatever container he put you in, right?

The second—the second was the lies that slipped past such sinful crimson lips. Oh, by the heavens, as if the lack of fondness in the timbre of his voice as he spoke to you wasn't enough to put cracks to the cemented foundation of you and him. Cruel, it's so cruel—you wonder if you're lacking somewhere, have you changed? Are you no longer diamond in the sea of glitter—? Worth not of his time nor the beating of the caged heart you thought you've acquired?

Now when he speaks, even the very sound of his voice reverberates like a sharp spear piercing through your chest without mercy—as if you're Spartan in the Battle of Thermopylae. The lies that come along with them about how training ended late again, or that he's travelling for a match again—Huh? No, you don't have to come, Y/N. I need to focus.

Did he have to lie about who he's with, what he's been doing? It's laughable. As if you wouldn't kiss away the taste of anything that lingered in his lips, if it was blood, alcohol or the lips of another girl. Rintarō, did he not know you enough to know you would surrender to his will no matter what mud followed his footsteps?

Ah, but, what would admitting such things do to his pride? Maybe it's that—or maybe he liked the way the lies were like lemon and salt to a fresh wound. You think, you never thought you could be so masochistic.

Third—the third is the sharpness of his gaze. It's the same gaze, same pair of eyes you've loved for such a long time and you fail not to love to this very moment. You're softer than clouds but now most hollow in comparison to the unacquirable stars among the cosmos—you think they're there but they're just a burst of light, something that has probably died lightyears ago.

It's like chokehold, the fourth—the fourth is like chokehold and he, the assassin. Ruthless—he's ruthless when he looks at you as you're not more than a tedious chore to him and the ring on your finger held no promise of relentless love greater than what a deity could offer.

Foolish—you're foolish. Delusion is a coping mechanism to the ones whose realities have been robbed in front of them—delusion is what you're supposed to call it when you fill your head with all the excuses and all the things you tell yourself have to change. You used to be a masterpiece. A masterpiece to him; as though you're Holy Grail found in a gallery of things that could never begin to hope they would ever amount to you.

Delusion is ignoring the liquor in his lips, the intoxicating smell of his cologne mixed with alcohol and cigarette smoke. You're confused and your reality that seems to have been distorting more often than usual. You question the strings that premeditate fate when it's you feeling the drunkenness and hangover the next day when it should be Suna and the tabloids of "Suna Rintarō spotted in yet another bar." You wonder if each sunset and sunrise you watched with Suna was a mere fever dream when it's you who vomits on the toilet. You, who sobs on the bathroom floor.

"Sfumato," your friend tells you, "The gentle blurring of edges to make rendered objects appear as one with their environment." The edges blur when you call that delusion as love—you only have to wait long enough before both are truly one and the same. The pain disguised as martyr sacrifice to the greatest allegory of love to exist. This is what you're told. They say, "Y/N, you've confused love with delusion," and yet you don't listen.

You don't listen most of all when you're back underneath him but you feel like you're being bloodied all over, stained like wine to a white dress. Yet you allow yourself to indulge in the kisses he's abated you of, you revel in each time you ask him to tell you he loves you and he finally does as he luxuriates you of your desires and of your whines for love—nevermind that he was doing it for himself. After all, it is as the word suggests, a luxury.

Suna Rintarō had become a luxury you couldn't afford, therefore, he did not have any business of giving himself to you. Not unless he wanted to.

Is there such thing as a free reign over the heart of someone? Hand it over as they will but how long would they truly allow you to borrow it—? Borrow it because one never truly surrenders such a vital thing to human functioning. Yes, you are and you have been delusional to believe so.

"You own the entirety of my heart, Y/N," you're unsure whenever it echoes in your head. He brings you enough torture, why must your own brain create such clamor in your head. Was such pain necessary? Is pain to love much like Adam's rib to Eve?

"It's a promise ring, bunny," he said as he tucked your hair behind your ears—his gaze is intense, almost like you would disappear from his sight if he looked at anywhere or anything but you.

You stared at the ring that shone under the light of the restaurant, your vision blurring at the tears welling from your eyes and you try your best to choke in the sob that involuntarily escapes you.

"Hey, Y/N, what are you cryin' for?" He questioned with a chuckle, looking at you with amusement dancing in his eyes while his thumbs reached out to wipe away each tear that betrayed you—falling down your cheeks as he cupped your face.

"I-it's nothing, I—I'm just happy, love," you answer him through your tears.

There's a smile playing across his lips, he tells you, "'m just making a promise that I'll marry you one day, bunny, is all."

You nodded eagerly with a wide smile even as the tears that left you continued to fall, "I'm making a promise to say yes, Rin. No matter what," you answered him through your sobs, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Guess I should start practicing to get on one knee then, yeah?" He laughed as he pulled you closer, his arms around you, you giggled along with him—it felt like you were molded together to form one perfect piece, like the act of staying there for all of eternity, in each other's arms, would turn you into one. Entangled together in all the right ways—as if Rapture has befallen the Earth and that was your final state as did the universe.

The fifth—the fifth is the screaming, the fights. Who would have thought you would break like a mere twig stepped on in the darkest forest on this Earth? It was under his shoe did you break from; each word that left his mouth was scathing—they didn't feel like a stab or pins and needles to the human heart, they felt like burns of acid that slowly ate at your decaying soul, breaking heart, dwindling sanity.

"I don't get it, Rin! Why do you treat me like this?!" You screamed through your tears, your chest heaving as your lungs tried its best to support you, even when it's already been punctured by the shattered pieces of your heart that continued to beat in separate shards, digging further into your lungs, damaging your ribcage, piercing your throat.

"Please, God, just tell me what to do—Rintarō, tell me what I need to do to turn us back to the way we were, please," you begged, falling to your knees and you let the shattered items on the floor puncture your skin. You felt numb yet your whole body was buzzing. The pain from the pieces of glass from under you doesn't register in your brain because all you can feel is the pain that was spreading from your chest and out into your whole body.

Under his mercy had he turned you inside out and greedily taken every part of you—everything you surrendered on your own volition until you were nothing, not even a shell of yourself but more like a ghost floating through the air. It looked like a battlefield—and perhaps it was. Love was never something you come out alive from. Love was greedy, selfish, treacherous. Love is like an assailant you allowed to enter in the safety of your own home.

"Don't you get it? Y/N, I don't love you anymore!"

No. You think, no. No, it repeats in your head, over and over. Denial. You were in denial, at this conjecture, you were aware of even this.

"I stopped loving you long ago, Y/N. You were dumb enough to stay." Has he always been this truculent towards you? You wonder but you can't recall anything else but the echoing of his words. Words he used like a champion of the battlefield, liberating away the life of his enemies.

No. Don't say that. You don't mean it. No.

Suna thought you would be the arrow to his heel—the one to bring him to his knees in the most torturous of ways. In reality, maybe you were more his heel than the arrow. He was both Achilles and his actions, the arrow that brought him to his own demise.

Sixth—the sixth was sickening grief. You're so unfair. You're so selfish. How could you run away from him, only to scream his name and the tormenting shout of "I love you" that haunted him awake or in his slumber. How could you be so cruel? To let him fall to his knees in front you the way you made him to. Ruthless—you're so ruthless. The pain was the excruciating kind, crashing towards him like ocean waves bringing him farther from the shore and near to wherever you were now. How could you leave him like you did?

After all, what was he if there wasn't you?

📞 violet is calling... all content featured belongs to ©️ animatedrapture. do not plagiarize, repost, or modify.

#RINTOBER #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna #rintarou suna #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #;cloud #haikyuu angst #suna angst #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintarou x reader

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heyovivi · 3 years

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Miryam and Drakon

Okay there a few things that stick out to me when it comes to the story of Miryam and Drakon and how they won the war and defeated the Queen of the Black Lands.

So, in my humble opinion Miryam and Drakon’s story is loosely reminiscent of ACTOAR’s sister series, Throne of Glass, while also having hints of the story of Moses sprinkled in as well (especially when they split the sea to escape the Queen’s forces so the slaves of the Black Lands could be free from her tyrannical rule).

Now first I’m going to recite the story as best I can with what limited knowledge there is in the books.

From what we know, Miryam was a half-fae half-human slave born in to the Black Lands under the tyrannical rule of a blood thirsty Queen. Upon the Queen's engagement to Prince Drakon (of the Seraphim), she gifted Miryam to him, allowing him to finally see the true nature of his betrothed. Soon after, Drakon set Miryam free and fled the Queen as well, joining forces with Jurian three years afterwards who by that time was in a relationship with Miryam.

After fleeing the Black Lands, Miryam joins up with human rebels led by Jurian. As the wars drags on, Miryam and Jurian become lovers and she also builds budding relationships with members of Rhysand's Inner Circle, Morrigan being one of Miryam's most notable companions through the war.

Three years after breaking his engagement to the Queen and searching for Miryam, Drakon allies himself with Jurian's forces and during one battle he is struck and Miryam, who is a healer among Jurian's ranks, tends to his wounds.

As the war continued, Jurian concocted a plan to seduce Clythia, a general to Hybern's legions and the sister of Amarantha. Depending on whose telling the story, whether it be Mor or Jurian, Miryam was fine with the arrangement and encouraged him to do so if it meant the freedom of her people. However, Mor suggests otherwise and that Jurian's relationship with Clythia and changes in his attitude is what ultimately led to Miryam leaving him. Either way, after Miryam broke things off, and later fell in love with Drakon who already had feelings for her at that point. Soon after, they discovered that they were mates and got married the same night Clythia was killed by Jurian.

Seeking revenge, Amarantha kidnapped Miryam, hoping to lure Drakon, however Rhysand risked his neck in hopes to let her get away and in return most of his legions got killed and the rest, including him, were captured and tortured by Amarantha.

Towards the end of the war, Miryam, along with Drakon, his army, and Morrigan, marched into the Black land to free the human slaves. After successfully breaching the Queen's forces they marched their people through the desert and to the Erythrian Sea, where their ships were destroyed by the Queen of the Black Lands. With the Queen's forces on their tails, Drakon and his soldiers used magic to split the sea, clearing a pathway through for the slaves to escape while he and his men fended off the Queen's coming army. However, Miryam refused to flee, and followed Drakon into battle where she struck by a spear thrown by the Queen herself.

As the magic wore off the sea came crashing down, Miryam was rescued by Nephelle who carried her to safety. Despite her efforts though, Miryam bled out from her wound, and Drakon, knowing of a sacred island that harbored a powerful object made by the Cauldron, saved Miryam from death and used the object to resurrect her, turning her into a Fae.

Afterward, Miryam and Drakon let the world believe that the sea claimed their lives but instead they lived peacefully away with only members of the Inner Circle knowing the truth of their continued existence on Cretea.

"I fought side by side with Miryam in the War, fought beside her as Jurian's ambition and bloodlust drove him mad, and drove them apart. Drove him to torture Clythia to death, then battle Amarantha until his own...I marched back into Black Land with Miryam to free the slaves left in that burning sand. The slavery she had herself escaped. The slaves Miryam had promised to return to free. I marched with her--my friend. Along with Prince Drakon's forces legion. Miryam was my friend, as Feyre is now..." (Morrigan, A Court of Mist and Fury, pg. 388)

Now it is entirely possible we don't have the full story and it is possible we won't get the full story. However, I firmly believe that the next books are going to be first, Azriel, second, the novella which will probably focus mainly around Mor, and then finally Elain.

Now, if Azriel's story is focused mainly around the Illyrian conflict then it is somewhat hard to decipher where the story may go afterwards. However, I do think that SJM purposefully structures her novellas as the blueprint for future books. So, if the next novella is Mor's then perhaps we'll get more to the story of her past, I.E. the war.

Now, it could all just be oversight but there are so many unanswered questioned when it comes to Drakon and Miryam's tale.

Such as what was the object made by the Cauldron that healed Miryam and turned her fae?

You can't tell me that Drakon just happens to know of a magical item stashed at some unnamed island that can just happen to heal any wound. Plus it was made by the Cauldron so does that essentially mean that this mysterious object is a dead trove? Perhaps the fourth? Many have speculated that the mysterious unnamed object at the top of Ramiel could also be the fourth dead trove but I find it interesting that the unnamed cure Drakon used was also made by the Cauldron and also exhibits it's power of reanimation. Then for some reason it's never mentioned again.

Not even when Feyre was dying at the end of ACOSF due to her high risk pregnancy.

This could either be because SJM forgot that she wrote in there or maybe there are limits to the objects power.

Next questioned.

The Queen of the Black Lands.

She definitely gives me Maeve vibes but one thing is clear: we don't know if she died. In the books it never specifies whether she died and I think someone named the Queen of the Black Lands would play a more prominent role.

I also think that it's very interesting how her territory now belongs to the human queens, especially Queen Vassa.

The Black Lands were described to border on the southern parts of the Continent and what is a Queen without her territory. More importantly who might she had gone to for help?

Now, at this point I'm throwing a theory out but by this time Koschei would've already been on his island--probably already planning his escape. Who knows, maybe there is a reason why he specifically turned Vassa into a bird of fire. It's easy to assume that the other Queens would quickly fall in line as long as they get their promise of youth and power, but Vassa wasn't so easy to convince making her an obstacle. Perhaps the Queen of the Black Lands is still alive and working with the enemy to reclaim her throne.

But then that begs the question of who is the Queen of the Black Lands.

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acotar thoughts #acotar theories #koschei acotar #koschei #Sarah j maas #sjm

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triplexdoublex · 3 years

Text

That’s My Baby

Pairings: Mod Sun x Reader

Warnings/tags: Pegging, use of a strap-on

A/N: This takes place in the same universe as my other Mod fics but it can still be read as a stand alone.

“Hey, you’re home!” You greeted Mod at the door. “I was starting to get worried, you usually text if you're gonna be home late from the studio.”

“Sorry, I got a little distracted,” he motioned to the pink store bag in his hand.

“Oooh is that for me!?” You questioned excitedly, retrieving the bag from his grasp.

“Uhhh… yeah, I mean technically —“ he winced as you opened it, uncertain of how you would react. “I know we had talked about spicing things up and I-I just happen to pass that new sex shop they just opened on the way home, so I stopped in , and - and umm, yeah I thought I might be into trying... that” he spoke quickly, with both hands shoved into the pocket of his jeans, awaiting your response.

“Oh..” you gasped in shock as you pulled the apparatus from the bag. “A strap-on? Y-you want me to —“

“Sorry—” he began, with his head hung low. “I-if you’re not into it we can just—“

“Hey, hey, look at me,” you placed it back in the bag and stepped closer raising his chin with your fingertips. “You just caught me off guard that’s all. I’d be honored.” You smiled.

“Yeah?” His face lit up.

“Yeah,” you pulled him in for a kiss. “C’mon,” you took his hand in yours, the bag in the other and walked him towards the bedroom.

“Now?” He questioned, in surprise.

“Mmm, hmm” you hummed in confirmation , tugging him through the bedroom door.

“Damn, you spoil me.”

“You know it, baby.” You smirked before pushing him down on the bed, with a hand to his chest. You placed the bag at the foot of the bed for the time being as Mod rid himself of his shirt. You crawled over his sprawled out body on the bed and began kissing his neck.

“God, I fucking love you!” He spoke with a hint of soft laugher to his voice. “I shoulda known you’d be cool with this.”

“Of course, anything for you, baby,” you began kissing him lower, and lower, trailing your lips and tongue over the permanent artistry that adorned his flesh until they disappeared below the denim horizon of his jeans. He lifted his hips as you unbuttoned his pants, aiding in their swift removal; his boxers stripped away with them. You took him in your hand and slowly pumped him while you lowered your mouth to the tip with a teasing, single swipe of your tongue.

“Always such a tease!” He remarked with an impatient whine looking down at you.

“Can’t help myself, love watching you get all flustered and needy,” you continued to taunt him, holding him motionless in your palm as you licked around the base and mouthed his balls. His eyes were locked onto yours, watching you work. His hands were gripping at the sheets with eager frustration, his cheeks rosy and flushed.

“Please!” He begged as he lifted his hips from the bed with desperate need, trying to fuck into your fist. Eventually after teasing him a little bit longer you obliged and took him fully into your mouth; a satisfied hum falling from his lips. “Finally!!” he cried out gently threading his fingers into your hair, his hand bobbing along for the ride as you worked your mouth up and down his length, taking him in as deep as you possibly could and pumping what you couldn’t. You kept at until you felt his hand pushing at your shoulder; a breathy “stop, stop” bringing you to a halt. “Didn’t wanna cum yet,” he huffed “Wanna wait until —“ his eyes finished his sentence, drifting to the pink bag at the end of the bed. You got up off the bed and quickly retrieved the bag, as to not keep him waiting.

“Oh good, you bought lube too” you noticed when taking out the strap-on. “Here,” you tossed it to him.

“I’ll be right back,” you excused yourself to the bathroom to put on the device, saving you both the awkward embarrassment of trying to figure out how to put it on.

Inside the bathroom you stripped off your clothes and struggled to find the right orientation of the contraption, turning it around as you tried to pinpoint which of the multiple adjustable loops were meant to wrap around your thighs and which were meant to encompass your hips. Once you got it figured out you stepped into it, and pulled it up, adjusting the straps to fit you snuggly.

“Sorry that took so long,” you said as you stepped back into the bedroom. “I swear you need a degree in engineering to put this thing on,” you laughed. “Ohh— getting started without me I see,” you took notice of Mod prepping himself on the bed; two lubed slicked fingers working him open. “Ready for me yet?” You asked crawling onto the bed and settling between his thighs.

“I-I think so” he slid his fingers out.

“How do you wanna do this?” You questioned.

“Just like this,” he answered. “Wanna face you.”

You cracked open the bottle of lube and drizzled it over the pink, phallic shaped, object strapped to your pelvis and used your hand to make sure it was fully coated before bringing the tip to the slicked pucker between his cheeks.

You were met with resistance at first, barely able to inch your way inside “Try not to tense up or it’s gonna hurt more. Just relax,” you coached him, rubbing soft circles with the thumb of your free hand on his hip. It took a few moments but eventually Mod relaxed enough and the head of the toy popped in, being swallowed by the tight ring of muscle.

“Mmm, fuck!” Mod groaned, squeezing his eyes tight.

“That’s the worst part I promise,” You stayed as still as you possibly could. “I’m gonna give you some time to adjust, let me know when you’re ready.”

“You’re right it’s not so bad now, think I’m good,” he said after a few minutes. “You seem to know what you’re doing, have you done this before?” He questioned as you began slowly rolling your hips.

“No, but do think I’ve never been on the receiving end of anal before? Did you forget I used to date Colson?” You laughed.

“Ah, Touché” he laughed as well. “Speaking of Colson, please don’t tell him or the guys about this.”

“If that’s what you want baby, I can respect that, but I want you to know that this doesn’t make you any less of a man or whatever it is you're worried about?” You reassured him, gripping his waist with both hands as you gently thrusted.

“Mmhhmm uh, I-I know that, but I’m not sure the boys would agree,” he answered through strained moans.

“Pleasure is pleasure, if whoever the hell made humans didn’t want men to get fucked up the ass then perhaps they shouldn’t have put the male G-spot there,” you said in all seriousness.

“That’s a good point,” he laughed looking up at you with his crystal blue-green eyes. “This is why I love you,” he cupped your face, with a smile on his, and connected your lips. You swallowed down his moans one after the other as you slowly increased your sped and depth. “Mmmmm mhhmmmmmn,” he broke the kiss with a long and throaty moan when you brushed against his prostate. “Aw yeah, do that- do that again!” He exclaimed breathily, gripping your backside, pulling you in deeper.

“Yeah, that’s my baby, that’s my baby. Let me hear you,” you praised and encouraged him. Typically Mod wasn’t one to be openly vocal, you knew he had the potential but he usually chose to hold back for whatever reason, but there was no stopping him now.

“Uhhh , baby, fuck! This feel so ah- amazinggg!” He whined, covering his face with his hand.

“No, lemme see you,” you pushed his hand away and cradled his face. “Look at me. You close?” You questioned. Mod nodded. “Wanna watch you cum for me.” You reached your hand down between your two bodies and began stroking him to assist with his release. He tried his best to keep eye contact; his eyes fluttering closed in sync with the ebb and flow of your thrusts. Suddenly, you felt him twitch in your hand. “You gonna—“

“Yes,yes —- oh fuck! UhhMmmm,” His eyes rolled back and his shaft pulsed as he came, emptying on his stomach. You gave him a few minutes to come down from his high.

“Might sting a little” you warned, before you slowly pulled out, producing a brief whimper from Mod. “Stay right there,” you said. “I’ll be back with something to clean you up,” You once again excused yourself to the bathroom where you rid yourself of the contraption and wet a face cloth with warm water before returning to the bedroom. “You did so good,” you praised him as you wiped the cum and lube from his body.

“ I seriously can’t thank you enough, that was absolutely incredible,” he smiled at you fondly as you finished cleaning him up.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” you smiled back. “You might want to take it easily for the rest of the weekend, you’re probably gonna be a little sore.”

“Oooooh yeah, good idea,” he groaned as he sat up. Just then his phone went off. It was a text:

Colson: 11am tomorrow don’t forget!

“Oh fuck! I forgot I promised Colson I would help him move his shit into Megan’s place tomorrow.”

“Can you cancel?”

“No, I already smoked all the free weed that he gave me in advance in exchange for helping him.” He laughed

“Yup sounds like something you would do!” You giggled “I’ll go with you tomorrow to help.”

***************

“Aye, perfect timing!” Colson shouted as you and Mod pulled into the driveway. “Just about ready to move my dresser out into the truck. Mind giving me a hand, while the boys take a break? Rook, Slim and Baze have been helping since eight am but I know that’s early as fuck for you and you need your beauty sleep or whatever.” He laughed “let’s go.”

Inside both boys lifted one end of Colson’s dresser and removed it from his room, and headed down the stairs with it. Mod was moving slower than usual, feeling a little sore as to be expected.

“Aye, Mod you think you can walk a little faster here, my fuckin’ arms are getting tired.”

“I’m walkin’ as fast as I can, Kells. You want help or not?”

“Walkin’ like you got a dick up your ass is more like it,” Colson taunted in friendly banter. “I’m the one walking backwards down a staircase here bro.”

“Kells, just shut the fuck up.” Mod laughed as they continued down the stairs. He could feel himself beginning to blush and hoped he could just play off his pink hued cheeks as exertion, before Colson started asking more questions.

“Yo, Y/N!” Colson yelled over to you as you were loading some of the smaller boxes. “What the hell did you do to my boy last night? He joked. “Man can hardly walk. Did you finally break him out of his little Vanilla shell and give his thighs a workout making him fuck you good and hard last night or some shit?” Colson truly had no filter at times.

You looked at Mod with a smirk before answering. “Yeah, something like that.”

#mod sun #mod sun smut #mod sun x reader #mod fanfic #derek smith #derek smith x reader #derek smith smut #mgk #machine gun kelly #colson baker #megan fox

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buckybarnesbabydoll · 3 years

Text

Lost and Found

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader

Warning(s): Brief mentions of blood and death, someone is impaled :(

Word count: 1,800+

Summary: You spent all of your life on the lonely desert planet, but as your interest in the expanding galaxy is piqued, a certain bounty hunter happens to show up in your life one day. Will you stay on the planet you've grown to know, or will you chase the change you've begun to crave?

Chapters: Chapter 1 (right here!), Chapter 2

Note(s): i feel that reader has an outfit thats kind of similar to Rey’s, but with more covering such as longer sleeves and a hood since yano, you live in a d e s e r t. This is also up on my Ao3!

You walked out to the blurrgs, lugging along a bucket of feed inside for the creatures. The morning was cool but starting to slowly warm up as the day went on.

You lived on the planet Arvala-7 with Kuiil. It was peaceful, Kuiil taught you many things about fixing technology, as well as how to make your own technology from scratch. On occasion, you ran into the Jawas as you sometimes aimlessly rode around the desert, either trying to clear your mind or find something to do. There wasn’t a whole lot available on the desert planet after all. One of your favorite things to do was stargaze, looking up into the sky full of twinkling white dots holding different life forms. Sometimes you wondered what it would be like to leave the warm planet you lived on, imagining the vast environments that existed outside of your little corner in the galaxy. Not after the raiders took over the area you used to go to with your peculiar guardian.

The way you ended up on this planet was when your family had crash-landed in their ship. You couldn’t recall much since you were so small that day, the only thing that came to mind was screaming. So much screaming.

Kuiil had told you how he found you and your mother, or really, how you found him. He remembered that day very clearly. He was fixing something when he heard this droning sound of something coming closer and closer. Kuiil ran outside as fast as he could, then he saw the ship flying out of the sky like a falling star. Fire wildly flickering and wrapping around it as it flew closer to the planet's surface. The ship had crash-landed a little ways away from where he lived, he mounted one of his blurrgs and rode as quickly as he could to the crashed ship. He was sure the ship was completely destroyed, leaving nothing left over but ash and burnt metal.

Some nearby Jawas had also caught wind of the crash and were already huddled around the ship. But it was strange, what were they all crowding around for? As Kuiil approached the ship he realized there were still people alive in it, more specifically, a woman holding her baby. The Jawas looked at her sympathetically, chittering amongst themselves about what they should do. It was clear she didn’t have long left to live, she knew that. Blood was running down her side from what appeared to be a large shard of metal stuck in there. The baby was wailing as she tried to gently rock it back to sleep, singing to it her final lullaby.

Singing to you.

Kuiil dismounted his blurrg and started parting his way through the Jawas, looking down at your mother. She slowly lifted her head to look up at him with weak, but desperate eyes filled with tears. They both knew she wasn’t going to make it. There was a silent understanding as she held you up to him, and he reached out to gently take you from her bloodied hands. The few words she could get out to him were your name and her eternal gratitude. He stayed beside her until she closed her eyes for the last time, resting in the warm sand of the desert.

He had shown you her grave when you were old enough when you were ready to hear the truth about why you lived on the desert planet. What happened to your real family. Unfortunately, he didn’t know the whole story. What your mother was running from, or what was chasing you. It remained a mystery.

A mystery you weren’t sure if you wanted to find out.

However, you felt it had something to do with your abilities.

The way you found out about your… powers, was in an act of desperation. You recall being around 14, you and Kuiil were on an outcropping on your blurrgs, however, you don't fully remember why you were out there in the first place. The sun was setting later in the day and you were about to turn back until you saw a mudhorn had approached you two. Somehow neither of you noticed the mudhorn cave nearby until you had passed by. The chattering must have woken it up. You reached for your vibroblade, ready to strike. As you were feeling around for it, you remembered.

You forgot it at home.

Panicked, you fumbled for your blaster as Kuiil shouted at you to get out of the way. The mudhorn charged at Kuiil and knocked him and his blurrg off of the outcropping, you whipped your head around and reached out, your mind begging for some otherworldly power to save him. Just when you expected the worst, both he and the blurrg had abruptly stopped in midair. You let go and they plopped on the ground safely, before turning your attention to the mudhorn, who was raring to go. Your head was already throbbing from...whatever you just did, but you knew you had to do it again before it was too late. You forced yourself to focus on lifting the mudhorn, which seemed to work again. But you had to move quickly, or you’re sure you were going to pass out. While it was still in midair, you shot back the mudhorn at high speeds, back into its cave. The force made the cave shake, making some rocks fall down in the front of it and trapping it inside. Both you and Kuiil made it back without any more issues, the only thing on either of your minds was the events that just took place.

Kuiil couldn’t believe what had happened, he’d only heard the stories of people who could move objects with their minds. He never would think that a person of that kind would end up in his care.

It’s been seven years since then.

You got used to using your powers, however, Kuiil warned you to be careful and to only use it when you’re absolutely sure. He suspected those powers were what brought chaos to your family. Since there weren't many people on the planet, to begin with, it was simple enough to avoid. You used them sometimes when you were alone, wanting to get better at… whatever this was But you noticed one day, a gentleman came to your home. He stood at the entrance, holding a two-pronged object in his hand that beeped. Kuiil approached him, and the man informed you he was looking for a bounty. To your luck, it had nothing to do with you.

Time passed, more bounty hunters came and went. But you never saw them come back. You had a feeling the raiders were dangerous, but it seems like they were worse than you thought. You wished the hunters would just get what they came for, so they can take out the raiders and the bounty with them. It was a win-win if only someone would actually succeed.

Just as you started losing hope of those raiders ever getting wiped out, a man in a shiny silver helmet and tattered, mismatched armor appeared. You were lying on your side on the sofa reading a book when he arrived, following behind your vertically challenged “father.” You didn’t even need to look at him to know what he was here for.

“Bounty hunter?” you said, looking at your book. Kuiil nodded, but the man in armor looked at you curiously. Well, as inquisitively as he could in that helmet. How could you have known what he was here for?

“But not just any bounty hunter, this is a Mandalorian,” Kuiil said, gesturing to the man and you nodded, you understood they were great fighters. Perhaps there would finally be some peace after this one tried to get whatever bounty was. Kuiil glanced back at him, “Even though he was getting beaten up by the blurrgs,” he chuckled, making the Mandalorian shake his head.

“It sounds like you get a lot of bounty hunters through here,” the armored man said, his voice was modulated, but still pleasant. He was still looking at you, the client mentioned in passing that there was another asset that could be inhabiting the planet. But he wasn’t completely sure since every time they sent someone to collect them, their tracking fob would immediately stop working once they were in the range of the planet.

He couldn’t really see it being you though, you just seemed like a normal person. Someone who lived on Arvala-7 with their… father? Uncle? He could guess you probably had a familial bond with Kuiil. He did think it was sort of peculiar that a human was living on this planet, but it wasn’t his place to inquire about that. Mando reminded himself he was here for only one thing, and to just get in and out like with his other jobs.

Yeah, it’s just another job.

“We do,” you said, sitting up from the couch. You dog-eared the page you were on and looked up at him, “They all came for the same thing.” Kuiil offered the man a seat, which he politely accepted. The sun was setting, casting in strips of pinks and oranges, making the inside of the tent look warm and cozy.

“Did you help them?”

“We did,” you nodded, “but they never came back.”

“Then I’m not sure if I want your help,” his helmet tilted, looking between you and Kuiil. The latter came hobbling over, interjecting in the conversation.

“You will need it,” he sat down next to you, holding a container with water in it. “They can show you to the encampment,” he said, gesturing to you. Now that you were old enough to defend yourself, you didn’t mind showing the bounty hunters where they were supposed to go. None of them have ever come for you, so why would it happen now?

“Fine, what’s your cut?”

“Half.”

“Of the bounty to guide? That’s a bit steep,” the Mandalorian rested his gloved hands on his knees. As if he’d give up that much pay just to be pointed in the right direction.

“No, half of the blurrg you help capture.”

“The blurrgs? Keep both of them.”

“You’ll need one to ride,” you added, still looking at him. “It’s impossible to make it on this terrain without one.”

The Mandalorian shook his head a little bit, “I don’t know how to ride a blurrg.”

“Well then, you can either stick around for a lesson or leave without your bounty,” you stretched your arms up, about to turn in for the night. The Mandalorian sighed, not seeming too thrilled about his prospects concerning the blurrg. This wasn’t the most ideal situation for him, but if it meant he was able to get that expensive bounty, he might as well learn how to ride a blurrg.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djaren #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #reader insert #the mandalorian x force sensitive reader #force sensitive reader

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dabiboy · 3 years

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Another self-indulgent piece I came with last night at 1am.

Author’s note: Angst, kinda fluff. The characters here are Dabi, Natsuo, Rei and y/n. And a small originial one, he. Also, let me know if you’d like a part two!

Rencounter [Part 1?]

There was blood all over the places, heroes saving the ones who were waiting for hope under pieces of concrete, missing kids looking or their parents, total mayhem. But that was not it, as if that chaos was not enough, a broken human being was broadcasting live his story, telling the world that him, Touya Todoroki, better known as Dabi was Endeavor's first son, abused and tortured, used as an object for his own ego and selfishness. A kid tossed aside who ended up being a monster because of his father's sins.

You didn't even know when it happened, but the fight got even bigger, backups arrive and a few bullets got into Dabi's body in an attempt knocking him down, but his adrenaline and his pain were keeping him awake, taking pain. He had suffered more than that. Another building collapsed, filling the surroundings with dust and blinding the witnesses. You ran over Dabi, who was now laying on the floor because of the blood loss and probably because of the strong emotions he was having. You could see it among the dusty space, Endeavor walking towards you. He looked defeated, wounded as if he had committed the worst of crimes, and in fact, he did.

''Take him away from here'' he said.

He didn't know you, but he quickly assumed what he meant to you by the way you were begging him to open his eyes.

After making Dabi stand back on his feet, barely awake you held him by his waist and held his writs as his arm was across your neck. You dragged him into an alley, all alone and away from everyone's sight. An old friend owned you a favor, and better said, this 'friend' had said you could call him anytime, for anything, so you had to call him immediately once you felt trapped and almost in despair without knowing what to do or where to go.

...........................................

''Thank you, Hao'' you said from the back seat to the old man driving in the middle of the night.

''Don't thank me. You're my sunflower's grandaughter, how could I leave you there?'' He said with a relaxed smile, despite having a wounded villain in the backseat, and you smile at the nickname.

''I would always be thankful for this, you can't stop me'' You laughed weakly. ''Are you sure is it safe there?''

''It is'' He spoke slowly ''There are a few people in the village, and they know me too so, they shouldn't bother you. Besides, the house is quite far from the village so maybe no one will know you're there''

''You can... You can leave me a few steps away. I know it is hard for you to be there'' you looked out the window, caressing Dabi's hair.

''Ah, don't worry about it little cherry. Good memories are good to be remembered, and in that house, your grandmother and I were happier than anyone. Time was little but wise.''

You felt a tear running down your cheek and you couldn't tell if it was because of Hao's words or because of the wounded and deplorable Dabi resting in your lap, whining when the car went over a bump. Hao understood you better than anyone, he was... The only person you could trust this hiding and help. A long time ago, he was your grandmother's lover, a secret relationship that no one knew of. She decided to leave her husband and ran away with Hao, a young thief at that time, a man who worked for the ones that paid, a man who did things that not even the wind knows about. A man who loved your grandmother despite his actions. In the end, faith played its part and took them away from each other, but their love was the greatest you've heard of, and the relationship you had with Dabi was pretty similar. As a child, you couldn't comprehend why your blood grandparent didn't like him, and you could understand it when you were older, when your grandmother told you to find a love like that one on her lasts minutes of life. You could swear your grandmother was there, smiling with compassion as she looked at you, telling you to be brave and stay by his side. Just as she did with Hao.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you couldn't notice when you arrived, but there you were. An old and feudal looking house in the middle of the countryside, and you could see the small lights from the village a few miles away. Hao helped to take Dabi out and get him inside the house.

As you set the tatami on the floor, the old man light up the fireplace and left you a bowl of warm water and some towels.

''I'll be in the village if you need anything'' He said standing up.

''Thank you, again. As soon as all of this chaos is over I'll make you some dumplings'' you said giving him a tired but honest smile.

''I don't think they'll be as good as the ones your grandmother used to make, but I'll give them a try'' Hao laughed and patted your shoulder. ''Be sure of remembering him that you love him. A man like him needs to remember that''

Those were the lasts words he said before leaving the house. You heard the car engine start again as the sound vanished faster.

You get rid of Dabi's clothes, leaving him only in his underwear and covered with a blanket until mid torso. His body was wounded, there was dry blood around the staples and you were sure one was infected, was it gonna be his end? You could only wait. You hand washed his clothes and set them next to the fireplace. Using the towels and a bit more clean warm water, you washed his body softly, his face, his arms. He looked so different with his eyes closed and a calm expression on his face. Once you were done, you laid by his side, supporting your body weight on your shoulder so you could look at him and wondered how he would look like without his scars, just curiosity though, because you loved him. Scars and all. And then, another painful yet beautiful moment came to your head.

''Stop looking. You fucking weirdo'' Dabi said with his eyes closed, a hand behind his head.

''I'm not looking'' You lied, laughing and pressing a kiss on his cheek making him open your eyes and give you a look.

''Besides a weirdo, you're a terrible liar'' He lifted an eyebrow and smiled at you.

''Well, sorry. I can't help looking at the handsome naked bastard by my side.'' You kept your smile and kissed him again but he scoffed.

''Bastard yes, but I'm far from being handsome dollface. I look like a fucking puzzle, made out of different parts'' He laughed, but you knew he meant every word.

''Listen here, you jerk'' You said straddling his hips ''I like you. Every part of you. The scars around your eyes'' You pressed a soft kiss on the burnt skin ''Your jaw, and mouth,'' again, you pressed kisses along his jaw and a chaste kiss on his lip ''Your neck,'' repeating the actions, you got to his chest ''This I love too'' you kissed his scarred chest, longer than the other kisses ''I don't care how you look like. Your scars? They're a reminder of how strong you are, of how many shits you were able to take. And here you are. Alive, with me'' You caressed his cheek with your hand, and he was at a loss for words.

Pulling you from your nape, he crashed his lips on yours. It was a soft yet deep kiss, and you could feel everything that he wanted to say to you. I love you, I fucking love you.

Knock knock.

The sound took you out of your thoughts and you were back in the old house, Dabi still sleeping, but now? He was looking a bit more uncomfortable. He was sweating, his breathing was more erratic, he looked like he had a fever and maybe the infection he had was causing problems.

You stood up and walked to the door, was it that Hao forgot something? You were expecting to see him, but when you opened the main door your jaw draw and your eyes got wider.

''W-what... What are you- How are you here?'' You asked in disbelief.

''We,'' Natsuo took a deep breath, he looked as if he had been running ''We followed you. But the taxi driver left us quite far from here because he said the road was too lonely,'' He stopped again and took a deep breath ''We just assume you were here and not in the village''

''Please, where is he'' Rei, holding his hand on his thighs and trying to catch her breath said ''I need to see him''

You weren't sure about what to say, Dabi exposed Endeavor earlier and maybe the hero society was about to end, and they were there. Wanting to see the most wanted criminal. Or should I say, their son and brother.

They walked in as you closed the door behind you and guide them to where Dabi was laying. Natsuo stopped right in his tracks, breath caught in his throat as his eyes filled with tears at the sight of his older brother. Rei, on the other hand, looked calmer but she was processing everything. The son she thought was dead was there, breathing.

They both walked and sat on the floor next to him as you sat on the other side. Rei took his hand as a tear escaped from her eyes and Natsuo layed a hand on her shoulder.

''Is he... Is he ok?'' She asked you shyly.

''I don't know, he's been sweating and... And I don't know what to do, he has lost a lot of blood and even though I took it off, it looks as if one of the staples got infected''

''Good thing I came prepared'' Natsuo let out a sad smile, grabbing his bag. Right, he worked in the medical field so he knew what to do.

As he cleaned and disinfected the red area, Rei was still looking at him. And the expressionless face she had in the begging was now one full of sadness, pain, and remorse. You and Natsuo exchanged a few words, it was not the best way of meeting each other but there you were. When he was done, he sat back next to his mother, both of them looking at the body resting on the tatami. It was hard, for both of them. Dabi looked unrecognizable, the only familiar trait was his hair. Now white, after washing it in front of Endeavor. His eyes were familiar too, but those turquoise eyes were closed. Rei felt filled with guilt, she couldn't save him and now he was a wanted villain, a man that had lost everything. Her son was there but at the same time, it was not. Natsuo felt that way too, and he remembered every time Dabi told him he wanted to disappear, all the times that he questioned his existence, and he wanted nothing more than to apologize and to ask him a lot of questions. It was his big brother after all. And you? You wanted to kiss him, to tell him how much you love him, to make him remember that he was not alone, that he had you by his side. After a few minutes of long silence, Dabi's voice made you all looked in awe.

''Please... Please just...'' His voiced crack and he furrowed his eyebrows, he was having a nightmare ''Just make it stop,'' the sweat was more evident as he spoke, his heartbeat going faster ''I can't take it anymore, it hurts, it fucking hurts'' His voice was stronger in the last sentence, and Rei and Natsuo had no clue on what to do.

''Dabi?'' You called his name, hand on his hair.

''I'll train harder tomorrow, dad'' He hissed, it was as if he was feeling everything he felt back then ''Just let me go with mom today, please'' It was the first time you heard such words, such vulnerability. And your heart was breaking more and more ''I'll be a hero but give me time'' He hissed again, a cracking sound leaving his throat ''But please make it stop'' this time his voice was low, a rare high pitch resembling pain ''It's hurting me''

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, and the two other Todoroki's were looking like you too. You were all broken in front of such words, knowing all the pain that Endeavor made him go through when he was just a child.

''Mom...'' He called out and Rei opened his eyes and got closer to him ''Help me'' Dabi's eyes were still closed and he had a painful furrowed expression ''Make this stop, I beg you'' Rei put a hand over her mouth, controlling her sobs.

''Dabi, hey. Wake up, c'mon'' You said, leaving various kisses on his forehead. ''You're here, with me. It is me, y/n'' you said again, and you moved in such way his head was now on your thigh, as you spoke against his forehead. He opened his eyes, and the two other white-haired surprise guests were even more in shock when they saw the color of his eyes. Same as Enji, same as Shoto.

''Y/n?'' He said weakly, smiling tiredly when he recognized you and only you in his deplorable and wounded state ''You're still here''

''Of course, I'm here... I'm not leaving you'' You whispered, and noticed how his eyes moved towards Natsuo, and Rei.

''Did I fucking die already?'' His voice was raspy and he coughed, closing his eyes again.

''Let's give them some space, mom. We will come back when he's awake'' Natsuo told to her mother, trying to ease her crying as he stood up and walked out of the room, giving you a look that said take care of him, we'll be here when he's better.

''Y/n'' Dabi called, making you look at him again

''Yes?'' You said, still playing with his white locks, some of them still looked a bit grey because of the black hair dye he used.

''Don't let my father come near me, it still hurts'' He was having delirious again, and you noticed when his eyes looked disoriented.

''I won't... It is just you and me, ok? I won't leave your side, I promise''

He gave you one last look before closing his eyes one more time, the medicaments Natsuo gave him were working, and the sweat was becoming less and less. He was going to be better by the morning, now, the real question was... How was he going to react with his mother and his brother there? You prayed it didn't affect any of them, but the truth was that it was going to be impossible to control their emotions, after all... They still shared blood, and the two of them? There were just two more victims of a man's sins, of a past that still haunts them. However, as long as you were by Dabi's side, you were going to hold his hand just as you were doing now, because there was no way in hell you were going to leave him. Not a chance, even if the things morning next were going to be complicated, you were going to be there for him. With him.

With Dabi, or Touya. It doesn't matter. He was the man you loved, and despite the hardness of things you were going to be there.

#bnha+dabi #dabi #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #boku no hero academia #dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #mha dabi

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grailfinders · 3 years

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Fate and Phantasms #173: Sherlock Holmes

Yes we’re going out of order, but I have a very good reason for this! ...Well, not really. We were already in the geniuses section, and any excuse to not think about summer while it’s still 40 degrees out is one I’m going to take.

Anyway, today we’re making the man famous for discombobulation, Sherlock Holmes! Track down mysteries, show up everyone else in the party, and kick ass with Baritsu. Easy stuff.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Chaldea’s other resident genius.

Race and Background

There are some theories about Sherlock’s race, but for simplicity’s sake we’ll call you a Variant Human, giving you +1 Dexterity and Wisdom. You also get Sleight of Hand proficiency for some close-up detective work, and the Keen Mind feat, giving you +1 Wisdom, the ability to always point north, perfect time telling, and the ability to recall anything from the last month in-game, a.k.a. the DM’s nightmare.

You know a lot yourself, but you also know how to build and maintain an archive, so the closest background to match would be the Cloistered Scholar background, giving you proficiency in Nature and Religion. Arcana and history would suit you better, but I’ve got something in mind for that, and good things come to those who wait.

Ability Scores

As you’d probably expect, your Wisdom and Intelligence are pretty freaking high. You are Sherlock Holmes after all. You’re pretty strong, but the reason you’re so scary in a fight is because of your technique, so we’re going with Dexterity here instead. You snort cocaine like it’s going out of style, so your Constitution has to be able to keep up. This does mean your Strength is a bit low, but you’re practically an anime protagonist, there are some things we just can’t get in a balanced build. Finally, dump Charisma. Half the reason you drag Guda along on your cases is to talk people out of thinking you’re the murderer, honestly it’s kind of embarrassing.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: You’re a skilled guy, and rogues get skills for days. You get proficiencies in Dexterity and Intelligence saves, as well as four skills- Deception for disguises, and Insight, Investigation, and Perception for cases and clue-catching. You also get Expertise in two skills, doubling their proficiency bonus. Right off the bat I’d suggest Insight and Investigation so you can hopefully get to the bottom of things quickly. Foiling a plan at the last second is thrilling and all, but utterly shutting down a villain is so satisfying.

To help with that, you can use a Sneak Attack once per turn if you’re using a ranged or finesse weapon and either have advantage against a target or a friend within 5′ of them. You also learn Thieves’ Cant, it’s a language that will be especially helpful when you have to navigate the criminal underbelly of a city.

2. Monk 1:None of that was Baritsu though, so we’re bouncing over to monk for some Martial Arts. You can use Dexterity instead of Strength on monk weapons (this does not make them finesse), and spending an action to attack with one also lets you make an unarmed attack as a bonus action. Your unarmed and monk weapon attacks also do at least a 1d4 of damage.

You also get Unarmored Defense, making your AC 10 plus your dexterity modifier plus your wisdom modifier. I don’t care how hot it looks, that corset isn’t armor.

3. Cleric 1: Last multiclass, I swear. Since you can literally make clues appear like magic, we kinda need a bit of magic. Clerics get Spells that they cast and prepare using their Wisdom, which you might have noticed is becoming a pretty important ability for you.

If you want clues, you’ll need knowledge, at least enough to know that the Knowledge domain can help with that. At first level you gain the Blessings of Knowledge, making you proficient in History and Arcana and doubling those proficiencies as well (hey, see what I said about waiting?).

You get three cantrips for joining the clergy, Light gives you some of those cool magnifying spotlights you carry around, Thaumaturgy for some parlor tricks, and Guidance for when you really have to focus.

For first level spells, Command gives you a basic command spell, and Identify teaches you all about the magic affecting an item or creature. Normally that would be more of a research montage, but some times you’re in a hurry.

As far as actually prepared spells go, anything with “Detect” in the name is a good pick.

4. Rogue 2: Now that we’ve got our spread, let’s build some of these classes up. Second level rogues can make Cunning Actions, Dashing, Disengaging, or Hiding as a bonus action. If you already spent your action rifling through someone’s files and they’re about to burst into the room, you’ll thank me.

5. Rogue 3: There’s really only two possible picks for your subclass, and we’re saving the Mastermind for Moriarty. As an Inquisitive, you have an Ear for Deceit, giving your Insight rolls a minimum of 8 on the die. On top of that, your Eye for Detail lets you make Perception and Investigation checks as a bonus action, further speeding up the process. On top of that, your Insightful Fighting uses your bonus action to make an Insight check versus a creature’s Deception check. On a success, you don’t need advantage to make sneak attacks against that creature for up to a minute. Finally, your Steady Aim uses your bonus action to get advantage on an attack if you don’t move that turn. I’d just use your insightful fighting, but your rival might push you to your limit.

This is a lot of stuff to do on your bonus action, and it’s only going to get worse from here.

6. Monk 2: Back at the school of Baritsu, you gain Ki Points that you can spend to make two unarmed attacks, dodge, disengage, or dash as a bonus action. Doing either of the latter two also doubles your jump distance for the turn. You also gain Unarmored Movement, increasing your movement speed by 10 feet while not wearing armor.

7. Monk 3: We need the most technique in the fewest levels, so that means we’re turning to the Way of the Open Hand once more. Your Open Hand Technique gives extra benefits to your flurry of blows. On each hit, the creature either can’t take reactions for a round, must succeed on a dexterity save or be knocked prone, or must make a strength save or be pushed 15′ away.

You can also Deflect Missiles as your reaction, catching an incoming attack and reducing its damage, possibly sending it back at the enemy if you bring it down to 0.

8. Monk 4: Our first Ability Score Improvement will instead be used to make you Observant, bumping up your Wisdom by 1, giving you +5 to passive perception and investigation, and allowing you to read lips. You can also Slow Fall as a reaction to take less fall damage. Hey, any help to survive the Reichenbach is well appreciated.

9. Rogue 4: Back in rogue now, your second ASI is going towards your Dexterity for stronger and more effective attacks, as well as a higher AC. 17′s pretty good for a corset.

10. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues get an Uncanny Dodge, allowing you to react to an incoming attack and halve the damage.

11. Cleric 2: You didn’t think we forgot about this one, did you? Knowledge clerics get two Channel Divinity options each short rest. Turn Undead is your bog standard option, or you can gain the Knowledge of the Ages, spending an action to gain proficiency in one skill or tool for 10 minutes. Protagonist powers, activate!

12. Cleric 3: Third level cleric, second level spells. Suggestion is a more open ended command spell, and Augury is more “telling the future” than deduction. That being said, you do get Calm Emotions to keep your cool, as well as Find Traps, Locate Object, and Zone of Truth.

13. Rogue 6: You know I’m a sucker for quadrupling things, so for this round of Expertise double up on History and Perception. You’re good at everything, but especially current events.

14. Rogue 7: At this level you get the powerful Evasion feature, turning your failed dexterity saves to avoid damage into successes and successes into no damage at all.

15. Rogue 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Intelligence. It’s a shame we had to wait this long for it, but better late than never.

16. Rogue 9: Your Steady Eye gives you advantage on perception and investigation checks as long as you’re moving at half speed. Unless your DM’s really keen on mapping out rp situations, this is pretty much permanent advantage.

17. Rogue 10: Another ASI, another bump to Intelligence. Does it really do anything? Probably not, but you can feel smug about it regardless.

18. Rogue 11: Your Reliable Talent means you skill rolls are always 10 or greater on checks you’re proficient with. And thanks to your knowledge of the ages, you can be proficient in just about anything.

19. Rogue 12: Use your last ASI to max out your Wisdom for more AC, stronger spells, and more skilled Baritsu.

20. Rogue 13: Your capstone ability is your Unerring Eye, an action to sense illusions, shapechangers, and the like around you. You can sense something’s off, but will have to investigate yourself. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your wisdom modifier.

Pros

Your minimum rolls in Insight and Investigation are 27 and 26 respectively, making you an ace detective. Your ability to root out lies, plus your photographic memory, will make any mystery you play through a breeze. (You the player still have to connect the dots, though.) Also, literally being able to see through illusions is a big plus.

Maxed out wisdom also means your open hand techniques are as strong as possible, giving you a good amount of battlefield control to beat down enemies and push them around.

Knowledge of the Ages plus Reliable Talent equals you being really good at everything when you need to be, and you’re much faster a switching things up than Hundred Personas.

Cons

Since we only splashed into monk, your baritsu isn’t that great an option for damage. It also comes with the caveat that you can’t use your sneak attack unarmed, so you will have to carry the murder weapon around with you.

Despite being a melee fighter, your hp is pretty low, making straight confrontations a bad idea.

We really wanted Unerring Eye, but as a consequence we could only get a couple levels of the other classes. This means your ki points and spell slots are rather limited. But I mean, you’re Sherlock freaking Holmes, you’ll know when you need to use them and when you don’t.

#Fate Grand Order #fgo #D&D 5e #Sherlock Holmes #Fate and Phantasms #Rogue #Monk #Cleric

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tigerkirby215 · 3 years

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5e Ezreal, the Prodigal Explorer build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Suke “hugehugesword” Su. Made for Riot Games.)

In my constant and continued effort to deny Ezreal’s existence I finally had to get around to building him. Again it’s not that I don’t like him... I mean I don’t. But I kinda forgot what I was going to build him as. Lol.

Dorans & Dragons also made a build for Ezreal back in like... early 2020. Christ that’s before the world went to shit, ain’t it? Well regardless they also made their build before Tasha’s Cauldron came out and I think I can make a build that is different enough to warrant my build existing alongside theirs.

In short: this is an elaborate excuse for me to make another Artificer build.

GOALS

Gawk at this! - We need many a glowing projectile to spam at foes before blowing them up. Ezreal isn’t the type to just autoattack.

I always know a shortcut - Flash on a 15 second cooldown is nice. We’ll need to be able to blink around constantly throughout the entire fight.

Time to show 'em who's best - Nothing’s more dangerous than a well-placed Trueshot Barrage sniping through the entire enemy team.

RACE

Back to good ol’ Variant Human. As a Variant Human you can increase two of your ability scores by 1: increase your Intelligence and your Charisma, to be the hot smart twink you are. You also learn a Language of your choice along with a Skill of choice. You spent plenty of time studying The Void so Abyssal would make sense as a language, and for your skill Perception would help you spot traps or incoming ganks... as long as you remember to ward.

For your feat we’re going to be grabbing Arcane Shift as fast as possible with Fey Touched so you can start Flashing. (Not like that!) You can increase your Intelligence score by 1 and also learn the Misty Step spell. You can also add a Divination or Enchantment spell to your list and a little Heroism never hurt anyone. You can cast both of these spells once without spending a spell slot, and can then spend spell slots on them after the fact.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - Archeology is a lot of history and facts... If you do it the boring way, that is!

14; DEXTERITY - Repeat it after me: “something something Medium armor.”

13; CHARISMA - You’re a pretty boy twink who got at least two girls on the Rift to fall for you.

12; WISDOM - Traveling through ancient temples and traps takes a degree of common sense. Not necessarily common sense you have, but a bit of boost never hurt.

10; CONSTITUTION - You’re an ADC, which means you’re squishy.

8; STRENGTH - Twink.

Feel free to swap Constitution around with another stat for better health but worse roleplay.

BACKGROUND

“Archaeologist” is just the nice way of saying Tomb Raider, which is the mean way of saying Adventurer! You get proficiency with History and Survival (hey you’ve gotta tough it out in the desert sometimes!) You also get proficiency in a language of your choice (I went for Dwarvish because Dwarves seem to have built most ruins) and proficiency in either Navigator’s Tools or Cartographer’s Tools... “Who needs a map?”

You spent enough time in ruins to pick up some Historical Knowledge on ancient dungeons and temples to know who made them. And if you find anything that belongs in a museum you know how much it’s worth to the museum!

(Artwork by Sangsoo Jeong. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1

Starting off as Artificer to “borrow” a few inventions. But also because you get training in Arcana to know your magical artifacts, Investigation to find said magical artifacts, and Calligrapher’s Tools to slay Ascended and Darkin alike in one blow. You also get Magical Tinkering to wave that gauntlet of yours around on some Tiny objects, making them glow or play sounds or do all sorts of things that Prestidigitation would probably do better. But at least you can play your own theme music too!

But of course the main appeal of being an Artificer is the Spellcasting. You can learn two cantrips from the Artificer list like Message to coordinate with your support and Guidance to help yourself find treasure! (Or help others I guess.) You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus your Artificer level (rounded down.) Cure Wounds will let you summoner spell Heal yourself or your Support. Faerie Fire will serve as a more basic version of your Essence Flux, making an enemy easier to hit (therefor making them take more damage!) And Feather Fall is always useful in a pinch!

Also yes you don’t have your gauntlet yet so you’re going to have to use a Light Crossbow for now. Feel free to take a combat cantrip if you want but you don’t really need it.

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 2

Second level Artificers can make Infusions, special definitely-not-stolen magical treasures that make them more awesome than everyone else. For a little more AD an Enhanced Weapon is useful to have. You can also put those goggles on your head to use by making Goggles of Night to see with your dumb human eyes. A Mind Sharpener may feel like a cheat, but I’m not going to say no to keeping Concentration in check. And for your final infusion? A Rope of Climbing might be useful? Honestly the more impressive stuff comes after you’ve done a bit more exploring.

You can also prepare another spell like Alarm, just in case someone’s planning to steal your... legitimately earned treasure.

LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 3

Third level Artificers get to choose their specialty and Armorers don’t have to wear an entire suit of armor; just a gauntlet! Along with proficiency in Smith’s Tools you can turn any suit of armor you find into Arcane Armor. The armor has a variety of benefits: no Strength requirement, the inability to have your armor removed against your will, the ability to take it off or put it on as an action, and some replacement limbs. But notably it works as an Artificer spell focus!

There’s two different Armor Models and we’ll be going for the Infiltrator variant for a Lightning Launcher. This makes your Gauntlet a weapon that deals a d6 of lightning damage, with a regular range of 90 and a long range of 300 in case you want to go for long ranged snipes. Additionally once per turn you can pop Essence Flux to do an extra d6 of damage on hit! And I didn’t even mention the best part: this works off your Intelligence! So no more need for the crossbow.

You also get your boots for Powered Steps, increasing your movement speed by 5 feet. And thanks to your Dampening Field you can hide in bushes with free Stealth advantage! I’d recommend trying to get a Breastplate because that’s the best armor you can get that doesn’t also impose stealth disadvantage, but even with Half Plate you can still be sneaky! Heck, you can even wear Platemail if you want! "And my boots are not waterproof. Fantastic."

Oh and you get some Armorer Spells! Magic Missile will autoaim for you like your Arcane Shift projectile, and Thunderwave is helpful for some self-peel.

LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 4

4th level Artificers get an Ability Score Improvement: seeing as we have uneven Intelligence take the Observant feat for +1 Intelligence and a boost to your passive Perception and Investigation to watch the minimap for people to snipe! Additionally you can spy on the bad guys if you want and read their lips to gain knowledge of all their secret plans!

More Intelligence does also usually mean more spells prepared but I’m going to wait for...

(Artwork by Xu “Crow God” Cheng. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 5

5th level Armorers up their Attack Speed with Rising Spell Force, gaining an Extra Attack with the attack action!

You also get Mirror Image and Shatter added to your list of Armorer Spells, and can prepare spells like Rope Trick for a safe place to rest for awhile, and Heat Metal to really lay in that Essence Flux.

LEVEL 6 - ARTIFICER 6

6th level Artificers get more Infusions which is what I was waiting for! A Radiant Weapon is all the fun of an Enhanced Weapon but it also doubles as a flashlight for your dumb human eyes! And Boots of the Winding Path will let you Arcane Shift back to safety in case you accidentally run into danger.

Feel free to swap some of your old infusions around too. A Lantern of Revealing or Cloak of Elvenkind would be helpful... and Gloves of Thievery never hurt anyone.

And finally you can prepare Aid, as your natural awesomeness rubs off on your allies. "Oh, please, don't die. I can't lose a sidekick. Not again."

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 1

You didn’t think this would just be a pure Artificer build, did you? Even if that would’ve been stronger I’m legally obligated to needlessly stick multiclass levels into all my builds. And Wizard is definitely a good multiclass for more slots to do Spellcasting! You learn 3 cantrips and six leveled spells as a first level Wizard:

CANTRIPS

To help your allies land their shots take Mind Sliver to weaken an enemy’s saving throws.

Prestidigitation will let you do a bunch of simple magic, and if you want you can have your own hero music too!

Finally Friends is good to make friends you don’t mind losing after they tell you where the ancient ruins are.

SPELLS

I basically just took everything with the Ritual tag. Alarm (yes you have it as an Artificer spell but you can swap that out), Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic, Identify, Tenser’s Floating Disk... and sure why not Find Familiar too? Seeing as you can ritual cast at will most of your early level stuff is going to be reserved for Ritual Casting, as you’re probably going to be spending most of your first level slots on Magic Missile and Faerie Fire anyways.

You also get Arcane Recovery, letting you recover spell slots equal to half your Wizard level (rounded up.) So right now you can get a first level spell slot back at the end of a Short Rest! And later on you can get more!

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 2

Second level Wizards get to choose the school that their parents left them in before disappearing in the jungle, and the School of Evocation has a surprise tool that will help us later. Along with being an Evocation Savant (allowing you to copy Evocation spells into your spell book with half the time and cost) you can Sculpt Spells so that they only hit the bad guys: when you cast an Evocation spell (from any class, not just Wizard!) you can choose a number creatures equal to the spell’s level + 1. The chosen creatures automatically succeed on their saving throws against the spell, and they take no damage if they would normally take half damage on a successful save. This will be really useful when we get our (pseudo-)Global ultimate; wouldn’t want to fry your pals now would you?

We may as well grab some of those Evocation spells, right? Earth Tremor will let you hit an AoE Mystic Shot because Riot decided that Tiamat should have a cleave I guess, and I mean... Shield is never a bad thing to have?

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - ARTIFICER 7

Back to the big brain plays: 7th level Artificers can make the biggest brain plays thanks to Flash of Genius, letting you boost an ally’s skill check or saving throw with your own natural perfection. The boost is equal to your Intelligence modifier and you can use this reaction a number of times equal to double your Intelligence modifier.

LEVEL 10 - ARTIFICER 8

8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement? Well seeing as Intelligence still controls just about everything we do it would do good to increase that by 2! That does mean you can prepare more spells (both as a Wizard and as an Artificer) but I’m going to wait for...

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 9

Every ADC dreams of being six-slotted; now you can be with Armor Modifications! Your Armorer armor counts as 4 separate items for the sake of your Infusions: the chest piece, boots, helmet, and the armor’s special weapon can all be infused. Far more importantly however you can have two extra infusions! Those infusions have to be on your armor, but you can put the Radiant Weapon (weapon) and Goggles of Night (helmet) onto your armor and save your other infusions for your allies! Or for yourself; yourself works too.

And we can’t forget the third level spells! You get Hypnotic Pattern from your Armorer Spells for an AoE stun, but far more importantly you get Lightning Bolt which will serve as Trueshot Barrage! And since you’re an Evocation Wizard you can shoot past your friends without blowing them to bits. "Oh, a plan. Yeah, I totally have one of those."

You can also prepare spells like Haste for more DPS (just don’t get stunned), Blink for some Duskblade invisibility, and replace Alarm with Revifify... Ya know: just in case.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 10

As an ADC it would be good to get six-slotted, and Magic Item Adept lets you get your 4th Legendary item! That’s because you can now attune to 4 magic items at once! (And can also craft Common and Uncommon magic items more easily.)

Speaking of Infusions, we can make more of them, such as a Cloak of Protection or Winged Boots! These are just generally useful but not really Ezreal specific; they’re mostly for your allies. "The gauntlet's for show... the talent's all me."

You can also prepare another spell like Fly which is just universally useful, and holy shit you get another cantrip. Take Mage Hand and maybe try to be a little more cautious when tomb raiding?

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 11

Do you want a lot more Mystic Shots? 11th level Artificers can make a Spell Storing Item and put an Artificer spell of first or second level inside. What’s cool about this is that anyone can use it, allowing them to cast the spell as if they were you!

My recommendation? Give them Mirror Image. It’s an amazing buff that doesn’t require Concentration. Even a low DEX Paladin will appreciate the chance to not be hit, and a high DEX ally can really get value out of Mirror Image. Yeah the Barbarian technically can’t cast while raging, but they can use this before going into a Rage to be very hard to hit!

And speaking of spells you can prepare another one, so how about you grab Create Food and Water to keep yourself sated on longer archeological trips. "Why didn't I eat before I got here...? Ezreal, why?!”

LEVEL 14 - ARITIFCER 12

12th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement... we got all we need in terms of stats (Intelligence lol) so now it’s time to really make some impressive trick shots: the Sharpshooter feat will let you attack at long range without disadvantage and ignore cover bonuses, but most importantly you can take a -5 to your attack roll for a whopping +10 to damage! Don’t use this on high AC targets obviously but if you think you’ll hit why not go for the one-shot? "No applause, please. ...Okay, maybe just a bit of thunderous acclaim. ...A little?"

LEVEL 15 - WIZARD 3

I do still want more spell slots, as well as more spells known! Truthfully there isn’t too much I want from second level, so take Locate Object to find hidden treasure and Augry (added to the Wizard spell list thanks to Tasha’s!) to know what to expect in the next dungeon... sorta. "No plan survives first contact with me."

LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get an Ability Score Improvement: we got all the abilities we wanted really, so why not Get Lucky? The Lucky Feat will give you a bit of anime protagonist power to guarantee that you make the perfect daring escape. Feel free to take Warcaster or just increase your Constitution however; by this point Ability Scores don’t matter too much.

You can also learn two more spells like Melf’s Acid Arrow for another Essence Flux-esque DoT ability and See Invisibility, in case you need a Sweeper Lense to deal with any clowns.

LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 5

Ima be honest I kinda just wanted third level for Thunder Step to get an Arcane Shift that does damage. Artificer 18 / Wizard 2 (or even just Artificer 20) would’ve been a fine build for Ezeal too, if you don’t think this one spell is worth a 5 level class dip.

Anyways you also learn another cantrip and I mean... you may as well take Shocking Grasp for some defense up close? You also get one other spell and I’m gonna suggest Galder’s Tower this time which is like Tiny Hut... but awesome. And really small. This is mostly just a way for me to talk about a fun spell and also recommend my homebrew fix for it.

(Artwork by Alvin Lee. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - ARTIFICER 13

You got third level spells as a Wizard, you can now prepare 4th level spells as an Artificer! Fire Shield and Greater Invisibility are both available as Armorer Spells, one of which is far more useful for you than the other one. Bro imagine how crazy Evelynn would be with Evelynn’s passive. But yeah feel free to swap around your prepared spells a bit for more 4th level spells, since you definitely have the slots to do so.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 14

14th level Artificers are Magic Item Savants who can attune to 5 magic items at once, meaning that along with your boots which are technically magical but whatever you can finally be properly six-slotted! But far more importantly you can attune to any item, regardless of any class or race restrictions tied to the item! "I can't get hauled into wizard court again. Technically I don't have a permit for the gauntlet."

Speaking of more attunement: more Infusions. An Amulet of Health will let you boost your bad Constitution from a 10 to a 19, giving you a solid 76 health boost near max level! Other than that more movement speed is never a bad thing, and Boots of Speed may give you more value than your other magic boots.

But holy shit forget all that because you finally get your 4th Artificer cantrip! Grab Mending because somehow we don’t have that yet; gotta keep your outfit in check! Oh and you can get around to preparing another 4th level spell! Truth be told though the 4th level spells for Artificer are kinda... bad? But at least Tasha’s gave us Summon Construct which is a surprisingly strong summon!

"Last time I was in Shurima, I decoded some glyphs. Something about a jackal head... End of times... The usual. All I wanted was this ruby scarab. It looks great on my mantle."

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 15

Our final level is the 15th level of Artificer for the Perfected Armor Armorer capstone. When you shoot an enemy you mark them with Essence Flux, giving them disadvantage to hit you. In addition the next attack (including your own I’m pretty sure!) has Advantage against the enemy while they’re marked with Essence Flux, and if they’re hit they’ll take an extra d6 of Lightning damage!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Blast 'em, gauntlet! - With your capstone ability you do 4d6 + 10 damage with your Lightning Launcher, and that’s before using Sharpshooter. Even without your capstone 3d6 + 10 is still really good damage output, especially when you can cast spells for big bursts of damage.

See if you can handle this! - Speaking of spells your slots go all the way up to 7th level, and while you’ll mostly just be upcasting a 12d6 Lightning Bolt is nothing to sneeze at! Not to mention other options like a 7d8 Fire damage Heat Metal or +30 HP Aid.

If anyone asks, I didn't see any of these priceless artifacts for sale - It goes without saying that having two more attunement slots than the average character is massive, especially when you can stick infusions onto your armor to maximize the amount of treasures on your person.

CONS

I wasn't strong enough? - Investing fully in INT gives us maxed out combat stats but it leaves a lot of our other abilities lacking. We’re nowhere near Charismatic enough to sell (somewhat) illegitimately gotten gains, and while Infusions can help augment our health (and even our Strength if you grab a Belt of Giant’s Strength) your Wisdom and even your Dexterity are rather mediocre, which is bad for both skill checks and saving throws.

Impossible comebacks are sorta my specialty - Most of your coolest stuff is tied to spell slots and other Long Rest dependent mechanics, and while you have a lot of spell slots (as well as Arcane Recovery to get some of them back) they are still quite limited. You’re perfectly viable as just an auto-attack and Q spammer, but who doesn’t want to shoot lasers and explosions, ya know?

Never met a problem that I couldn't blast away with magic... that I don't even understand - 5 levels in Wizard give us big spell slots but that’s about it, and yeah a 7d6 Lightning Bolt (that won’t hit your allies) is nothing to sneeze at but for the most part you are more of a Martial character. Just saying that level 18 of Artificer would’ve given you Magic Item Master for a whole 6 attunement slots! And level 20 of Artificer would’ve given you Soul of Artifice, essentially operating as a +6 to all saving throws and a 6 time use Guardian Angel.

But if a teamfight breaks out you’re more than a capable ADC. Artificers are the masters of magic items and it doesn’t matter if you make them yourself or “borrow” them from an ancient tomb; you can be the hero mom and dad always wanted you to be! Just concentrate on your farm in the early game and don’t take unnecessary risks. You may be the perfect man of magic but you’re not immortal, despite what the ADCs I’m forced to support always seem to think.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuesting. Made for Riot Games.)

#dnd #dnd build #dnd guide #League of Legends #League of Legends Ezreal #you belong in a museum #dnd artificer #dnd wizard #twink

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url-is-url · 3 years

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Can you please talk more about valerie red huntress symbiote au ? Just general thoughts on how it would work ? I know barely anything about Venom but imagine valerie would get the symbiote from Axion Labs.

OH GOD OH NO OH GOD OH NO I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO BE AN AU I JUST WANTED TO DUNK ON BUTCH HARTMAN AND HIS PLAGIARIZING HABIT AND MY VENOM OBSESSION

First of all: I will be referring to the symbiote as Venom, a la movie canon, because I have a deep and passionate loathing for the past three years of Venom comic canon, do not get me started on this because I will not be able to stop.

Okay firstly: YES Venom totally comes from Axion Labs. I have not watched Danny Phantom since it was actually airing so I'm definitely checking the ole wiki as I write this but apparently Axion Labs was its own thing and then VladCo bought it? Idk how Venom got to Axion Labs, but it got there and the scientists were like "idk wtf to do with this" and just sorta. Put it in a drawer with a label that says "weird space goo" and forgot about it. (That is VERY MUCH a thing that happens in science labs you would not BELIEVE the shit you can run into if you start poking around old storage objects in labs.) And then VladCo buys Axion, and Intern Valerie is helping organize things and she finds the jar of lost space goo. Idk what happens after that; maybe she determines it's some flavor of alive and passes it to Vlad under the assumption that it's a Weird Space Ghost, maybe she drops it and Venom escapes and bonds with her. I don't know, the details of how they get together aren't important IMO, the important part is the interactions between symbiote and host.

Valerie is still in high school and this is very important to me. Depending on what you do and don't consider canon, Venom is between several thousand and six hundred million years old. Depending on what you do and don't consider canon, Venom has BEEN TO EARTH BEFORE! I am of the opinion that Venom is actually extremely knowledgeable about physics and chemistry and other like, not-Earth-specific things, because they're old as balls. So imagine you're in high school and you're in AP World learning about the Vikings, and you hear this bass-ass voice in your head go actually it wasn't like that at all and suddenly you're RELIVING some other creature's memories of fighting Vikings. Or you're in high school and you're in biology watching a video about octopus camouflage and this voice in your head goes we can do that too and your arm turns "invisible". Imagine you're on your period and you ran out of Advil and you think to yourself "I swear to god if this lunch line doesn't move faster I'm gonna eat the kid in front of me" and the voice in your head goes no, eat the one behind you, he looks juicier LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

Valerie and Venom get together way after Danny becomes Phantom. So Valerie has this huge crush on Danny, but then she also hates Phantom's guts. Venom has senses that humans don't so they can tell that Fenton is Phantom, and Venom regrets their life choices re:bonding with a human, because oh no, these bald apes are so fucking stupid. Every day Venom considers informing Valerie about the secret identity thing. Every day Venom remembers that Phantom's ghostly wail is extremely deadly to them specifically. Every day Venom does not tell Valerie about the secret identity thing.

Most of town is probably at least a little convinced that the huntress is some sort of weirdass ghost, because humans aren't that big. I headcanon Valerie as being short but muscular as hell, around 5'4". Venomized Valerie? Pushing 7' and built like Athena. People assuming she's a weirdass ghost pisses Valerie off SO MUCH, and it pisses Venom off too though for different reasons (I AM TAKING VERY GOOD CARE OF MY HOST SHE IS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ALIVE I AM INSULTED BY YOUR INSINUATIONS THAT SHE IS IN ANY WAY DECEASED)

Oh hey wait, if Venom can tell the Dannys are the same person, Venom can also tell that the Vlads are the same person. Vlad has never demonstrated anything along the lines of a ghostly wail, so his secret identity is NOT safe and Venom tells Valerie what's what. Valerie is so disturbed, but then she decides to give Vlad the Homophobic Rich Grandpa treatment and pretends to go along with what he wants so she can get that sweet sweet tech, then she turns right around and does whatever she wants when he's not looking. Maybe Venom (as in the big lady) and Red Huntress are assumed to be two different people because Valerie works for Vlad as Red but then does her own stuff as Venom?

Carnage. Oh god, Carnage. So, the Carnage symbiote (often referred to as Red, I love a coinkydink) is Venom's offspring. In the comics, it is possible for a host to experience sympathetic morning sickness and shit in advance of the symbiote spawning. Please imagine you're in high school in a small town, and you are nauseous as fuck and having weird dreams and cannot eat enough chocolate (chocolate is a good source of phenylthylamine, which is a neurotransmitter that symbiotes need to eat) and one of your shitty high school friends goes "omg are you PREGNANT" and you know that whatever you say, everybody in the universe is gonna hear it. You've never had sex in your life but you still have a moment of panic like OH GOD AM I THE NEXT VIRGIN MARY SHIT and then your body roommate is like actually, this one's on me. DO YOU LOSE YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN MIND OR DO YOU LOSE YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN MIND. "wait Venom I thought you were a guy" "why would you think that i have a concept of gender" "...your voice is deep?" "humans are so fucking stupid"

The big weaknesses of symbiotes are fire and certain frequencies of sound. Venom is scared shitless of Ember McClain, send tweet.

There's a re-appearing ghost who hosted Venom when they were alive. This could be a canon character or an OC. Either way, the interactions maximally play up the "awkward ex" thing.

A better source of the phenylthylamine Venom needs to live is BRAINS. This is now a ghost hunger AU also and Valerie catches Phantom noshing on like, a ghost deer or something. Cue Venom SEE IF HE CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T WE

Hey Venom's an alien who is old as balls, it's called the INFINITE REALMS, there's probably LOTS of alien ghosts with opinions about symbiotes

One day Phantom gets hurt really badly and Valerie feels bad enough to go save his ass (if only because the only person that gets to kill Phantom is HER tyvm). Venom is very Exasperated Parent about all of these fool human children so they just. Pick him up by the scruff like a disgruntled kitten and drag him to safety.

Venom has a very, very low opinion of the Doctors Fenton. Venom knows one (1) thing about humans and that is Protecc The Children and these morons are continuously shooting at their own child. The only reason Venom has not eaten them is because a) Valerie insists that humans are off menu and b) Danny's ghostly wail is scary. Also the only competent ghost hunters in this town seem to be Sam, Tucker, Danny, Jazz, and Valerie. Valerie why are the only competent people in this town children. "i wish i FUCKIN KNEW"

I'm now headcanoning that Valerie has a Very Southern grandma or auntie just to have an excuse for Venom to learn Very Southern expressions. Please imagine doing something stupid and the alien that lives in your brain stem just goes "oh bless your heart". Please imagine that some asshole yoinked the whole town into the Ghost Zone again and the alien that lives in your brain stem is like "dear jesus give me patience" I just think that would be funny.

#please don't ask me to talk about venom i will not be able to stop a;lskdjfsa;lkdfj

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Amphibia Weekly Reviews: New Wartwood and Friend or Frobo?

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to another week’s worth of Amphibia reviews! And we got two standout episodes today as Marcy tries to home improvement her way into people’s hearts, and Polly makes friends with a destructive but endearing robot. Find out what I thought about in full under the cut!

New Wartwood: Marcy episode! Wu-hoo! And true to the show’s current status quo, and I do love how it evolves, it’s her first day in Wartwood and she’s pumped. And true to the awkward, probably autistic like yours truly, nerd we’re dealing with.. she does not make a great impression or intergrate herself to the naturally suspcious of outsiders tow. So when questioned by Anne how her day went she gets into how the town’s carefully built on a swamp.. and how the townsfolk hate her, complete with Angry Mob. Anne disperses it but it’s still the funniest moment of the episode to me, both in how a small one sprouted up so quick.. and how polly’s there despite LIKING Marcy (”I go where the mob goes anne!”). ALso i’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Anne just.. casually blushing while talking to Marcy. There’s no catalyist or any reason she would for any other reason than being sweet on her.

So Marcy, after fixing a statue she knocked over, decides she can earn their love faster as she dosen’t want to wait. This does get to one of Marcy’s core issues.. while she has many, like any of us, it ties back to the fact she has trouble getting this isn’t a video game. I mean she does get the diffrence between real life and a game on an objective level, but she can’t get real life dosen’t WORK like fiction, something i’ve also struggled with and can massively relate to. So she assumes helping them, via fixing up the town a bit, will make them like her. It makes them warm up a little but they still don’t.

So naturally, who should come in by blimp to give her a tempting offer that will end badly but Mayor Toadstool! He also has a blimp now but it keeps escaping... I think I know where it went.

So THAT’S how he can afford those things. Naturally seeing how nice Marcy made things he has a plan to exploit the hell out of her gifts with masonry to pretty up the town as a tourist attraction to make him more money. Anne talks her out of it.. but she ends up caving in the middle of the night. I also love the touch of her staying in the Fwagon, not forgetting the plantars bought it and finding a practical use for it in and out of story now i’ts no longer needed. I also love the little signs she has on it.

The next morning the town awakes to marble pillars in front of all of the shops to make them look fancy and Marcy and the Mayor promoting the town’s new effort,s including a golden founderss tatue and a horrifying golden clock of toadstool, with Anne warry of her girlfriend’s antics. Mostly becaue you can’t force people to like you or bribe them to. Otherwise you cause the entire town to sink into the water bellow... like now. But while Marcy is now convinced the town will never accept her she still dosen’t want them all to die, and summons Joe Sparrow.. who continues to be the best thing ever added to this cast I swear to god as he helps her save the day, removing the various new things to reduce weight, saving some villiagers from a pillar (as Croaker points out their frogs ending up in the water isn’t that deadly), and getting rid of the gold monstrosities.

So the end result is that the town is rightfully liviid, though she does genuinely appologize.. and suprisingly.. TOADSTOOL actually tries to take all the blame. The town rightfully dosen’t let him, but it’s clear he’s somehow growing as a person. Even if anne’s assement of him as “What would happen if the Monopoly Man had a Baby with a PIece of Fried Chicken” is still 100% accurate. They do agree they’ll like her with time, just like Anne, and if supscious, will gladly give her another shot. So Marcy’s learned her lesson.. always listen to your girlfriend. And while she literally fixes her damage.. the mascot toadstool hired explodes as it’s full of bugs.

Final Thoughts on New Wartwood: This was a fun episode. A fairly simple and predictable one, but sometimes that works perfectly and this one was just damn funny, charming and full of good character stuff. Top notch.

Friend or Frobo?:

I have a confession to make: I fricking love robots. It’s something that really HASN’T come up before, but I love a good robot. There’s just tons of good stories to be had with artifical beings, their struggles to be recongized for who they are, their cool powers, their awkward but endearing attempts to fit in with us less than deserving humans. And ficton’s had TONS and TONS of awesome ones: The Vision (in both 616 and MCU flavors), who is one of my faviorite heroes period, Red Tornado, Jenny Wakeman, Shard the Metal Sonic, BOYD, Aya, Data, Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy, Growler, Robo, Grimlock. the list really DOES go on into infinity for me.

WEirdly though I didn’t pay much mind to Frobo before this episode.. but with no real personality other than endearlingly running into the same obstacle for hours, and no real background yet, I didn’t really have anything to attach to other than “Cool anne’s either going to nearly get killed by a robot or get one”. But this episode changed that using the oldest trick in the book: having a child befriend it. We’ve seen it before with Sentinels, Badniks, Autobots and Iron Giants. Now we get it again with largeish frog robot. And it is pretty damn good.

This is a Polly episode. It’s Hop Pop’s faviorite day: Seed Store Day! Naturally Marcy has come along and naturlaly she’s just as geeked out about seeds as he is because she’s precious and I must protect her from the horrible trauma her trusted father figure is about to inflict on her. Polly naturally wants to get into some shenanigans but suprisingly.. Anne and Sprig don’t wanna anymore. THey’ve learned their lesson and decide to just play video games. So polly does the resonable thing.. and blames them for some shenanigans on her part and goes out to get into more shneanigans only to find it’s lonely without a friend.

Enter Frobo, named that because he looks like a frog and she heard the term robo from anne’s game. And despite very limited programming... Frobo is VERY loveable. As Polly notes he’s essentially a baby: he starts by mimicing her, including his horrifying but endearing laugh, and even doing her spin dash she gained a few episodes back I didn’t mention because I forgot. That one’s on me. Sprig also did the Yooka Laylee thing on top of her spin dash then so there’s that.

Point is it’s all fun, games and heartwarming bonding till Frobo accidently floods the city and gets mobbed and one of the mobbs makes the terrible mistake of accidently kicking polly.

He goes into Red Eye Iron Giant HOmage mode and starts fighting everybody.. including Anne and Sprig who show up to contain things, but eventually Polly wins everyone over with a heartwarming speech as she stops him, pointing out it was her fault and while he is weird, he’s just an innocent> The town.. decides why not. As the mayor points out “We already have two freaks what’s a third”. And given Marcy nearly killed them all yesterday and they begrudginly acepted her and anne did it WAY more than once and they see her as one of them, yeah they give up.

Naturally once they get back Marcy is an easy sell. Now she can do chrono trigger cosplay! Hop Pop is a bit till it’s shown that frobo can farm super fast, and he’s part of the family now. Sprig and Anne shrug off him having come from the factory, and this surely won’t backfire on them surely.

Final Thoughts on Friend or Frobo:

This one was excellent. The idea of Polly having to learn repsonsiblity was a nice idea, and Frobo is as I said endearing: he’s simply an innocent being who knows nothing and is slowly learning and his friendship with polly is really fucking cute. And giving him an emotional attachment to the plantars means whatevers going on with him gets higher stakes.. and given how robots are treated in fiction i’m just counting the minutes till he tragically gets blowed up real good. But until then this episode was a standout for the season. While as I made clear the “Kid befriends death machine” trope is not NEW, the baby concept made it feel fresh. It also as usual had some good jokes.

So all in all a top notch week, really great stuff and i’ts only going to get better next time!

Nexttime: Mayor Toadstool is tempted to leave. Kay. But more importantly MADDIE EPISODE AGAIN BITCHES. AND IT HAS MARCY IT. I’M READY.

Next On This Blog: Final Space Yo! Quinn and Gary visit earth and Tribore leaves.. again. Be here or be... elsewhere I guess

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#amphibia #annarcy #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #frobo #polly plantar #hopidiah plantar #sprig plantar #mayor toadstool

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