#The store makes me so tired I would like to limit my time there lol
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Making a food spreadsheet.. (actually I had one last year but it was terribly unintuitive so I just neglected it most of the time. you live and you learn) it’s gonna have interactive checkboxes >:) best google sheets function fr
#Here’s the thing right. There are few things in life that don’t need a spreadsheet. Is my thoughts on the matter#z talks#not horse game#This is not in a diet way btw fuck that (I would give myself an eating disorder immediately if I tried anything of the sort)#It’s just for planning my meals so I know what to put on the grocery list and don’t have to go to the store five times a week#The store makes me so tired I would like to limit my time there lol#the checkboxes are for the ingredients that I have at home
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how to transfer your old pokemon to pokemon home before it's too late!!!
the wi-fi services for the nintendo 3DS and WiiU are shutting down in early april 2024, and while it specifically lists pokemon bank and poke transporter as being available post-shutdown, there is no guarantee of how long that may be for. there will likely come a time when these services shut down, and it could be in the relatively near future.
it is also pretty much impossible now to transfer pokemon to the switch's Home service with alternative methods such as PKHeX (popular pokemon save editor for the uninformed) due to the implementation of server-side Home IDs tracking pokemon at all times - the details of that aren't super important for this post, but point is, whenever bank shuts down, unless nintendo makes an offline way to transfer to home, it will be impossible to move pokemon from the old gens to the new, even with alternative/hack-y methods.
i write this guide with the intention of making this process easier for people since transferring pokemon has changed so much over the past two decades that it's a bit of a mess, and in a timely manner to give people time to finish the process. i'll be organizing by generation so feel free to skip to any part of the guide you need. (keep in mind that transferring is permanent, your pokemon cannot go back afterwards!!)
(by the way it would mean a lot to me if you weren't overwhelmingly negative of pokemon in the tags/reblogs. i get that pokemon transferring being an online service sucks but reading that stuff in my notifications constantly is really tiring </3 make ur own post to talk about that)
to walk you through, i'll be transferring this random shiny spinda i hatched in emerald version all the way up to pokemon home. her name is Moss :]
below the cut since this is long as fuck sorry LOL
GEN 1/2 -> 3 (aka RBY/GSC -> RSE/FRLG)
this is impossible! as for the Virtual Console releases of the gen 1/2 games on 3DS, more on that later in the gen 5 -> 6/7 section.
GEN 3 -> 4 (aka RSE/FRLG -> DPPT/HGSS)
what you need:
a copy of RSE or FRLG
a copy of DPPT or HGSS in the same language as the RSE/FRLG copy that has beaten the champion and has access to post-game areas, preferably HGSS because it lets you transfer unlimited times as opposed to DPPT's once-per-24-hours limit (unless you happen to have korean DPPT/HGSS, which is not language locked in terms of transferring)
either an original DS or a DS lite, the old ones with the GBA slot at the bottom
the steps:
#1. you can only transfer 6 pokemon at a time, so get whatever 6 pokemon you want to transfer up together in gen 3. if you're intending to transfer less than 6 pokemon, you'll need to catch some extras since you have to transfer the full 6 every time (i usually just catch a bunch of extra mons on the first route, which is what i've done here with the poochyenas/wurmples)
#2. put the gen 3 game into the GBA slot of the DS, and the gen 4 game into the DS slot. both games should appear on the home menu after turning on the DS.
#3. load the DS game and spam A past the title screen. before loading your save, scroll down. you should see a "MIGRATE FROM (GAME NAME HERE)" option. if you don't, either the GBA game isn't reading properly, or you have not visited Pal Park in your gen 4 game of choice. in HGSS, the Pal Park is located in Fuchsia City, and in DPPT, the Pal Park is located at the end of Route 221 below Sandgem Town.
#4. select the aforementioned migration option and pick the pokemon you want to transfer.
#5. navigate to the Pal Park and complete the Catching Show, where you re-catch your transferred pokemon in the wild. this does not overwrite what pokeballs they were originally caught in! you will need to bring a pokemon with Surf if you have any Pokemon that spawn in the water areas. you can check what location the pokemon you transferred will be in on bulbapedia.
#6. say yes to storing the caught pokemon in your PC boxes and they'll be there!
important things to note:
pokemon with HM moves will be blocked from transfer, so make sure to use the Move Deleter to remove HM moves from any pokemon you're transferring in gen 3 before trying to transfer. in RSE, the Move Deleter is in Lilycove City, and in FRLG they are in Fuchsia City.
gen 3 -> 4 is the only step in the transfer process where held items transfer up as well, meaning that if you attach a valuable item such as a rare candy, master ball, or TM to a transferred pokemon, you can take it off that pokemon and put it in your bag in the gen 4 game.
an aside about colosseum/XD gale of darkness on gamecube:
you can transfer pokemon from colo/XD as well! unfortunately you'll need to have beaten colo/XD, and then you will also need to beat the gen 3 game... in FRLG, you even have to complete the postgame ruby/sapphire quest on the sevii islands to unlock trading with the gamecube games. once you do all that though, you can navigate to the pokemon center basement in Phenac City to trade with your gen 3 GBA title. to do this, you'll need a gamecube or wii with gamecube compatibility, a GBA (or GBA SP), and a GCN -> GBA link cable to connect the two consoles.
GEN 4 -> 5 (aka DPPT/HGSS -> BW/BW2)
what you need:
a copy of DPPT/HGSS
a copy of BW or BW2 in the same language as DPPT/HGSS copy that has beaten the champion (or N in the original BW) and has access to post-game areas.
two DS consoles of any kind (3DS is also fine!)
the steps:
#1. get the pokemon you want to transfer together in your gen 4 game's PC boxes. you can only transfer 6 pokemon at a time. if you have less than 6, catch some extra pokemon, since you need to transfer the full 6 every time. save it and turn off the DS with the gen 4 game.
#2. turn on your gen 5 game and navigate to the Poke Transfer Lab. personally i just fly to Black City/White Forest and head west.
#3. talk to the NPC in the lab to start the transfer process. you will be prompted to turn on your other DS again and open DS Download Play with your gen 4 game inserted. do that and download the Poke Transfer app that comes up.
#4. select the 6 Pokemon you want to transfer when prompted.
#5. play the transfer minigame! just drag the... bow? (lol) on the bottom screen to aim your pokeballs. there's technically a time limit, but it's very generous, and your final score doesn't matter.
#6. say yes to transferring the pokemon once you're done and they'll be placed in your PC boxes!
important things to note:
pokemon with HM moves will be blocked from transfer, so make sure to use the Move Deleter to remove HM moves from any pokemon you're transferring in gen 4 before trying to transfer. in DPPT they're in Canalave City, and in HGSS they're in Blackthorn City.
the level the pokemon was obtained at and the date it was obtained is changed upon transfer to gen 5 - it will have the met date of your DS clock and the met level of the level it was at the time of transfer. if you'd like to preserve a pokemon's met date, make sure to change the DS clock to the proper date.
GEN 5 -> 6/7 (aka BW/BW2 -> 3DS TITLES/BANK)
what you need:
a copy of BW/BW2
a copy of any 3DS pokemon game (XY/ORAS/SUMO/USUM)
a 3DS (or 2DS, i'll just be referring to them all as 3DSes here) with the poke transporter and pokemon bank apps installed. these were free apps that were once downloadable from the 3DS eShop, but the 3DS eShop is no longer available, so if you don't already have them installed you will need to explore alternate methods, AKA hacking your 3DS and injecting them in. that's outside the scope of this guide but you can find more information here on 3ds.hacks.guide. (do not attempt to follow any 3DS hacking guide not on this website, they could be outdated and harm your 3DS!)
a nintendo network ID that your 3DS is logged into (also outside the scope of this guide but if you don't already have one, it will prompt you during the process to make one)
internet connection
the steps:
#1. poke transporter defaults to trying to transfer every pokemon located in Box 1 of your PC, so go into your gen 5 game and put every pokemon you want to transfer into Box 1, and take anything you don't want to transfer out. if you want to transfer more pokemon than you can fit in one box, you'll have to transfer multiple times.
#2. open poke transporter with your gen 5 game inserted into the 3DS' cartridge slot. after pressing A through some menus and selecting the gen 5 game when prompted, it should ask if you want to transfer the pokemon in Box 1, with a preview of the pokemon inside. confirm and let it do its thing. after poke transporter is finished, the pokemon you transferred will be in the special Transport Box in bank.
#3. make sure you either have a 3DS pokemon title downloaded onto your 3DS, or swap out your gen 5 cart for one, it doesn't matter which.
#4. close out of poke transporter and navigate to pokemon bank. at the time of writing this guide, bank is still online and is free for everyone without a subscription - the main menu has an infinite "free trial" period number.
#5. select "use pokemon bank" and pick a 3DS game to connect with when prompted. it doesn't matter which one, but if you're looking to see your pokemon in a gen 6/7 game right now, pick the one you want to move it into. viewing a pokemon in a gen 6/7 game isn't required to move to home later, though!
#6. the Transport Box is located one box to the left of Box 1 - navigate to it and drag your pokemon out into a normal bank box. now you can move them to any gen 6/7 pokemon game you want, or home later!
important things to note:
even though bank connects with both gen 6 and gen 7 games, once you place a pokemon into a gen 7 game (SUMO/USUM), you cannot transfer that pokemon back to a gen 6 game (XY/ORAS), so be careful!
an aside about the VC releases of RBY/GSC:
poke transporter can also be used to transfer pokemon out of the VC releases of RBY/GSC. these pokemon are changed pretty heavily, converting all their old gen data into pokemon's modern data structure. you can find more information about all the changes/conversions made on bulbapedia. these pokemon are considered gen 7 pokemon afterwards, and cannot be moved into XY/ORAS. pokemon with held items also cannot be transferred from VC titles and will fail to transfer.
if you want to transfer pokemon from cartridge RBY/GSC and have a save dumping device, it is possible to inject the cartridge's save file into the VC versions with Checkpoint on a hacked 3DS and then transfer that way. for GSC specifically, you'll need to edit your save slightly to make it compatible with VC GSC's save format. i personally made a converter for that here that you're free to use in-browser.
GEN 6/7 -> GEN 8+ (aka BANK -> HOME)
what you need:
a 3DS (or 2DS, i'll just be referring to them all as 3DSes here) with the pokemon bank app installed. this was a free app that was once downloadable from the 3DS eShop, but the 3DS eShop is no longer available, so if you don't already have it installed you will need to explore alternate methods, AKA hacking your 3DS and injecting it in. that's outside the scope of this guide but you can find more information here on 3ds.hacks.guide. (do not attempt to follow any 3DS hacking guide not on this website, they could be outdated and harm your 3DS!)
a nintendo network ID that your 3DS is logged into (also outside the scope of this guide but if you don't already have one, it will prompt you during the process to make one)
a switch with Pokemon Home installed, which can be downloaded for free from the switch's eShop. a nintendo switch online subscription is not required.
unfortunately, you WILL need a subscription to home's premium plan to do bank -> home transfers.
internet connection
the steps:
#1. open pokemon bank and make sure all the pokemon you want to transfer are in their own boxes, and any you don't want to transfer are not in the same boxes as the to-be-transferred pokemon.
#2. go back to the bank home menu and select the "move pokemon to pokemon home" option. when you get the notice about the transfer being one-way, you'll need to scroll down to hit "Begin".
#3. you will be prompted to select what boxes of pokemon you'd like to transfer, so pick all the applicable ones.
#4. you will then be prompted to put in the moving key from home, so turn on your switch, open pokemon home, and select the icon that looks like a 3DS on the main menu. when prompted, choose "Ready!" to get the moving key.
#5. input the moving key on the 3DS, submit it, and wait for both apps to do their thing. once bank goes back to its title screen, you can turn off the 3DS.
#6. home will go back to its title screen as well, and depending on how many pokemon you moved, you may have to wait a few minutes to get back into the app. once it's done, the next time you open home, it'll prompt you to choose how to organize your transferred pokemon into home. pick whatever you see fit.
#7. congratulations, your pokemon are safe in home!!
important things to note:
unlike all pokemon games before the switch, pokemon can actually go backwards in generation on switch, so don't worry about transferring a pokemon into scarlet/violet locking you out of moving it to sword/shield, for example. (the exception to this is LGPE - nothing can be moved into LGPE and once a pokemon is moved out of LGPE, it can't go back.)
pokemon home actually has decent hack checks, so be careful when transferring hacked/glitched/otherwise illegitimate pokemon around.
pokemon from a gen 3/4 game will have their met location set to "Poke Shifter" - this is an alternative translation of the japanese name for the Poke Transporter.
pokemon on switch can only transfer into games that contain that pokemon in its dex, so not everything transferred can go into scarlet/violet, for example.
and that's it!!
there's a lot of other quirks to the pokemon transferring process at pretty much all steps, so if you run into an unusual issue or have specific questions about how pokemon data is changed in minute ways across the franchise, i would encourage you to do your own research, all of this stuff is pretty heavily documented by the fanbase. this is just meant to be a guide for casual users, and a quick reference.
this guide of course does not cover options for transferring in alternative ways, but it's worth mentioning that if you have a hacked 3DS and the ability to back up save files at any point from gens 3 -> 5, you can use PKHeX to transfer pokemon into the 3DS titles, then move them to bank and transfer to home normally from there. that's outside the scope of this guide and i'd also encourage you to do your own research for that.
happy transferring!
#pokemon#pokemon bank#pokemon home#long post#nintendo#of course it really sucks that we have to do this at all#ive been opposed to bank/home being online services since p much day one#but that's just how the cookie crumbles i guess#Sighhhh i have so much stuff to transfer myself lol#kiki was here#kiki.txt
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This off-white t-shirt that was for sale at some shows during the 2008 Honda Civic Tour was really popular and was usually the one you'd see people asking other fans to grab for them in late spring because their show sold out in their size. This is the shirt that was sewn into a vest for Ryan that season btw:
FBR added this shirt to their webstore in August 2008 and some sizes sold out quickly but then got restocked. I remember some people complaining that FBR's shirt was a slightly different color than the one on tour, but others said it was the same. Idk, it looked like the same general off-white color to me. The band's name was still on the back of the right sleeve:
I liked this design because it was SO different from most t-shirt designs in this era (like in general, not just PATD) and was way more minimalist. A fan created some pngs that we could print out to iron on our own shirts, so I'll add them here if anyone wants them. They used the "Big Noodle Tilting" font and created their own heart:
That fall Hot Topic also came out with an off-white tote that had the same large "reinvent love" design on one side. Then the design of the band name (from the t-shirt's sleeve) got a heart added and was enlarged to be the graphic on the other side of the tote. The inside of the bag was a floral pattern that reminded me of the striped hoodie's lining:
FBR clearly loved how successful this whole design was. The webstore included a bonus sticker in the order packages for P!ATD fans in fall 2008:
The Rock Band Live Tour shows in fall 2008 used the same type of graphic:
And the shows on that tour had a black tote & shirt for sale:
Spencer did an interview with Out.com this season that had this question:
The most popular items at your merch booth seem to be a t-shirt and bag that say “Reinvent Love,” which is such a strong, inclusive message. Tell me about how that became the band slogan.
It started out as a lyric in “Mad as Rabbits.” It was the last song we were recording for the album, and as we figured out how to fit it into the end of the song, it took on some more anthem-style cheer. As we went on tour, me and Ryan [Ross, Panic’s guitarist] talked about making a “Reinvent Love” shirt. At first it was just going to be on the Fueled By Ramen web store, just a limited edition thing because it didn’t have our band name on the front, and we didn’t know how many people would want to wear that. It ended up being a lot more popular than we thought it would. We were ending all of the concerts with that song, so that was the last thing that people were hearing. We wouldn’t want to be a part of anything that wasn’t that kind of that message. If there’s going to be some saying associated with our band, that’s a pretty good one. It goes along with everything we want to represent and the way that we feel.
This bracelet was added to FBR's webstore in December 2008 (after the Pretty. Odd. era had basically ended & around the time that Live in Chicago was released):
By the time this necklace got added to FBR's webstore in January 2009, a lot of fans were tired of this theme:
The necklace spawned more fan jokes about what was coming next at that point... my favorite was still the musical toaster:
So in March 2009 FBR just added the black shirt & tote to their webstore (the ones that were sold at shows in fall 2008) and then let the phrase rest so they could soon move onto overusing the return of the exclamation mark. lol jk.
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Okay I know you made this art like AGES ago but the womb tattoo Idia lives rentfree in my head and I wanted to ask if you had any hcs connected to that, like which character would love it and breed him nonstop, who'd find it hot in theory but not actually want to knock him up, who'd just make him get rid of it to not even risk it... or maybe someone would just make him a public breeding stock?
Hi again, Anon!
I am so happy you liked that one; I randomly remember that idea from time to time as well. We definitely should revisit it, and I should draw it again, but for now I’ll use your ask as an opportunity to talk about it!
First of all, “public breeding stock” is a phrase that feels so wrong yet so right when you apply it to Idia… thank you for putting this image in our heads. Ah, the way he should be treated 😔
As for the boys, I think none of them would want to get rid of the tattoo in an easy non-sexual manner; maybe it’s because of magic, maybe it’s horny monkey brain, but the moment they see it on Idia’s stomach, they’ll go ballistic lol
I also think that the majority of the boys we ship Idia with wouldn’t actually want to knock him up BUUUUT there is some nuance to this whole thing, so let’s go through the list of our main Idia ships…
Azul – this one actually has some hcs, since the original comic is Azul/Idia-centric! The moment Azul learns about the true meaning of the tattoo, he’ll play the “oh how dare you, did you want to use me for your own satisfaction, Idia-san?” card, of course being very obviously fake about this heartbreak and betrayal of trust. And he would completely ignore the fact that Idia wasn’t planning on doing that at all… and he’ll keep talking about it, while having sex with Idia, completely ignoring Idia who is trying to explain that this isn’t the case. The fact that Idia’s mouth starts smiling involuntarily due to how good it feels doesn’t help his case at all.
Azul doesn’t really buy the breeding thing, but he’ll still get overly horny simply due to how much power he has over Idia in this state, especially as the tattoo lights up with his every move and how Idia exhales whenever the dick leaves his body. They’ll break the spell, but Azul will definitely use it in the future. Controlling Idia by having the one thing that he wants sounds like too powerful of an idea to ignore it. Azul is on his way to learn how to cast it! (he’ll also try not to think about how much he genuinely loved seeing Idia looking like this and desiring him…)
Jade and Floyd will get super into in this exciting new thing that Idia did to himself. It’s like a fun toy just got upgraded into the best toy! Idia is already pretty easy to chase and freak out, but when he’s barely running because his body actually wants him to get railed by these two, even though his mind isn’t… it’s perfect. It also feels like when Idia is scared of them, his sexual frustration gets even worse, so by the time they finally get tired of playing around and pin him down, his tattoo would be so bright and hot and his hips would move on their own because he’s desperate. These two would really push the tattoo’s effect to its absolute limits before they even get to touch Idia directly. So of course they’ll comment on how pathetic Idia looks, and of course they’ll play with him for hours!
While they probably won’t be very interested in the breeding part, they would love how Idia begs them to stop but also keeps clinging to them. They’ll also love how his belly is getting filled and stretched as they finish inside for the 5th time both, and Jade would be the one to not only comment on that, and then Floyd would put pressure on the belly to make Idia squirt out everything he’s been storing inside for the past two hours. His tattoo almost started disappearing, too..! But now that Idia is empty, it’s bright and hungry again.
Ortho – Of course he’ll help his niisan/niichan out! Isn’t it for the best that they can do it together and Idia won’t have to embarrass himself in front of other people? Not to mention, they’ve read a hentai manga just like that about a younger brother who helped out his older sister in the exact same way! What do you mean Ortho shouldn’t have access to this type of literature? Too late! Anyways, he’ll ignore Idia moaning about how wrong this it because he’s too busy enjoying how the tattoo colour changes whenever he changes the settings of his robo-dick.
Ironically, I can picture him of all people kind of wishing to knock Idia up, both as AI Ortho and as actual human Ortho. Not only he’ll say it while fucking the living daylights out of Idia, he’ll also make sure that by the time of his third orgasm Idia would start agreeing with him while crying of pleasure. This would’ve instantly became a cringe memory that Idia could’ve easily brushed off (he wasn’t really himself, it was the tattoo’s fault) when the whole thing is over; but Ortho would say that it’s a bummer that actually knocking Idia up is impossible… Ortho, please, you are the one person who SHOULDN’T think about it!
Sebek – no thoughts head empty; after figuring out what kind of curse this tattoo implies and yelling at Idia for being so obscene, he’ll get consumed by the desire to breed him. Maybe fae react to this type of tattoo stronger? Maybe it’s just a Sebek thing. But the moment he stares at the tattoo for longer than 2 seconds, his pupils will dilate and he will get super horny. He might get a vague desire to actually impregnate Idia, and it’ll keep his hips going like crazy, but it wouldn’t go further than that. Even though for a moment there he really would feel like Idia’s body is capable of handling fae eggs or anything else for that matter… Still, Sebek will fill Idia with to the brim and just keep creampie-ing him until both of them pass out.
Lilia – he is the one guy who is actually aware about the tattoo and what it represents, and he would be very impressed by the fact that Idia managed to do this to himself somehow. This is absolutely the first time Lilia witnessed someone doing it on accident… He’ll scare Idia with stories about how some infertile fae casted this spell on themselves and pumped out like 5 babies that year in one go, and how the tattoo means that Idia won’t go back to normal until his body is properly satiated with thick and potent seed. Idia could just ignore it of course, it won’t kill him, he’ll just feel incredibly horny all the time and start feeling the urge to shove anything even remotely phallic inside his ass—this is where Idia would beg Lilia to stop talking and making everything worse lol
Lilia will fuck Idia alright! And he’ll feel him good, while still talking about how Idia’s body will start changing whether he wants it or not. Idia will be completely terrified but also too horny to think about anything because Lilia would feel way too good.
But ALSO. When Lilia himself is done (grandpa can’t go 10 rounds like he used to…), he could actually do the “making Idia a public breeding stock” thing and just invite all the Diasomnia students to have their way with Idia. He’ll stay there the whole time, holding Idia’s legs and patting his head playfully while Idia completely loses his mind because both his hair and his tattoo would go absolutely crazy because of how overwhelmed and horny he is. He wouldn’t remember just how many guys he took that day, but thankfully, they left plenty of autographs on his body with a marker that Lilia found somewhere.
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Sorry for not being very active on here
Just wanted to give an update because a lot has been going on with me and I haven’t even had the time or energy to think about writing or being on this blog because of everything lol.
So, I recently got into a car wreck on the 14th on my way to work. Some guy was trying to make a left turn into the neighborhood I live in on the highway and his engine stalled and (even though he saw me coming and knew that his 20+ year old car had engine problems) he pulled out in front of me to cross but because his engine stalled he didn’t make it and I crashed into him. I’m okay btw!!! Luckily and thankfully I only made it out with a bruised leg, but my car is in bad shape and is most likely totaled because the engine went out after the crash and I couldn’t move my car out of the road nor could I even get out of my car from the driver’s side, I had to escape from the passenger side.
So…yeah, there’s that and I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental health issues because my work has been overworking me and pushing me to my limit and I’m honestly getting really tired of giving my all and breaking my back for this store and getting nothing out of it, like not even a raise (when I asked for one they said it was “being processed by corporate” and apparently this raise has been in the works for me since December so…I don’t think I’ll be getting a raise any time soon tbh and even if I did get a raise it probably wouldn’t be enough to keep me there). Like, just last Wednesday I had a stressed induced illness because I was so burnt out from work and worried about stuff that it made me physically ill so (for the first time ever in 1 year of working at that store) I called out sick (and then that same week I got into the wreck so that was great).
I’m currently working on finding a new job because what I’m dealing with now is getting ridiculous and I honestly really want to be on here and talk to you guys and make posts like I used to, but I feel like I can’t anymore because of life and that sucks. Legit, my boss is making me work 35 hours this week (AFTER MY CAR WRECK 😑) even though she knows what I’m dealing with right now and knows how overworked I am. She had the nerve to say “I don’t want to overwork you” as she adjusted my schedule for the 3rd time because someone who is CONSTANTLY calling out in the store (and they refuse to fire her for some reason AND there’s another employee that’s going to be out all month) can’t come to work for the rest of this week so I have to cover for her. Oh yeah…and you know what else??? I have to train a new employee on top of all of that. I’m not a manager. I’m not even full time. I don’t get vacation time or sick days or paid holidays (even though we literally only get 2 holidays off and that’s Christmas Day and Thanksgiving Day, so not that it even matters anyways) or any kind of benefits. And I don’t get paid extra for training new hires. It’s ridiculous. My boss even asked if I felt comfortable training a new employee after what I’ve gone through with the wreck and how stressed I am (which I respect) and I told her no because I really am dealing with a lot and don’t need the stress of training someone on top of that, yet here I am so…I’m just tired of being a doormat for this company and letting them treat me like a workhorse. It was fine at first because I needed the money (and I still do), but the lack of sympathy after the wreck and being so overworked and stressed that I became physically ill is concerning and I think it’s a sign that I need to move on and find something else.
So yeah, sorry for the rant there but I just wanted to share what I’m dealing with and what I’m going through. Like, I still have stuff at home I have to deal with too and financial issues (and getting in a car wreck certainly doesn’t help that at all), so yeah. I have an interview tomorrow for a job that would really be beneficial to me and would be a perfect fit for me and I’m really hoping and praying I get the job because it’s would just help me so much and it’s such a good job!
Anyways, I know I share updates a lot, but I realized I haven’t really been active on here and I just wanted to share why and kinda release some tension because I’m really going through it lol.
#update#kind of a rant#sorry I’m not one to rant about personal stuff on here but…I got a lot going on lol#it’s not super personal but it’s stressful to me
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SaShiSu anon here!
Deep down I think I already knew that you would choose suguru but I wanted to ask anyway, because you always give interesting answers lol
I honestly don't know who I would choose, it's just as you say, the three of them would be very good partners!
I am very fond of Satoru but realistically I don't know if I could keep up with him lol, he’s a very active and social person, I don't know if my poor social battery could handle keeping up with him. I wouldn't mind watching digimon with him, because I love digimon, I've seen every season at least 2 times, I've played the games and the tcg and I'm basically a walking encyclopedia of digimon.
I wouldn't mind going with him to pastry shops to try new things, because going to pastry shops is a hobby of mine anyway. Satoru looks like the type of person who likes to tease his friends and his partner just for fun and honestly it would be hypocritical of me to criticize him for that because I'm the same. u.u
I love Shoko, I would do anything for her, cooking, cleaning, cuddles, I would give her everything she asked for and more! my poor baby works too much and she is always tired :( Shoko deserves a lot of love and cuddles! i don't drink or smoke, but if that girl sent me to the store at 2:00 a.m. to buy her a beer, I would do it!
Lastly we have suguru, my love languages are acts of service and quality time. Which I feel fits well with him. For me it would be strange if someone was so attentive to me because that's normally my role in relationships so I would feel lost. I wouldn't mind him judging what I read... because every time he does it, I would make a power point presentation with 50+ slides debating all his points (being a digimon fan is hard work D: )
AAA SASHISU ANON!!! that’s so sweet, i’m happy u enjoy my rambly answers :’3
AND YES I GET U IT’S SOOO HARD TO PICK JUST ONE…. 😔😔 they’re all so lovely and charming……. poly sashisu x reader is the answer always <33 i think a relationship with all three of them would be so sweet and fun !!!
BUT YES YOU’RE SO REAL my social battery is so low it’s kinda embarrassing lmao but i feel like satoru would be very good at knowing his partner’s limits yk… just whisks you away when he can tell you’re getting tired <33 and i also think he would get so smug if your social battery never ran out around him LMAO like he would thrive off being your safe space…. 🥺🥺hhh i adore him. AND HELLOOO FELLOW DIGIMON FAN i was a pkmn kid through and through but i grew up watching all digimon seasons too :33
SO REAL ON SHOKO TOO I WOULD MAKE HER TEA AND COFFEE EVERY SINGLE DAY she could throw a bone and tell me to fetch it like a dog and i would simply Listen <333 she could manipulate me. she wouldn’t do it but she could. but ohhh anon i really do think shoko would benefit sm from having an acts of service s/o !! :( she deserves to be pampered!!
AND OFC SUGUU acts of service and quality time are 100% good fits for him….. AND i think a relationship with someone who’s kind of similar would be good for him!! :’3 two acts of service babies taking care of each other … he would be so attentive all the time and you would be attentive right back!! tbh i understand you anon i think i would be a bit uncomfortable around sugu if he was Too attentive even if i would probably really love it deep down 😭😭 but he’d be so patient !!! aaaa he’s just so perfect…
TYSM FOR INDULGING ME WITH THIS DISCUSSION ANONNN i love these three with my entire soul T_T…. they could fix us
#I HOPE YOU HAVE THE LOVELIEST DAY <333333 tysm again for the ask !! it was so fun to answer !!!#sending u the goodest coziest sashisu vibes mwah mwah mwah#my emotional support trio <33#i need to take care of them 😞😞#ask tag ✩
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have you read the clementine book? if so what are your thoughts?
i said a lot of my thoughts when the book was first announced,, and thought it was going to suck for a myriad of reasons,,,
and i was right lol
i havent read it 100% myself since i refuse to engage with it and i pretend it doesnt exist, but ive seen pages of it here and there and ive read other in depth reviews out of morbid curiosity and its just...................... it sucks so much...........................
putting this under a read more for those of u also pretending this comic doesnt exist so u can continue on ur day 💕
clem as a character has reverted back to her s3 self, and not even the end of s3 but the beginning of it before she opened up to the garcias and was just an angry distrustful loner who was tired of watching everyone she cared about die around her (which is why she pushed people away..and its like... a major part of her character development for s3.. and is now being used as her development for this book that takes place AFTER S4!!). so not only are we getting a complete retcon basically of s4, but also s3 technically?? who is this person this is not post s4 clem. this is literally 13/14 year old clem
ALSO can i just say.. when i read the synopsis and it said she was "moving into a new community of teens" i was expecting it to actually be like.....a Community...... and not LITERALLY JUST LIKE 3 PEOPLE.......... 2 of which are our store brand minnie/sophie stand-ins and the 3rd is a a half baked love interest. actually its worse than half baked. her calling clem "baby" made me choke. i was also expecting amos and whatever her name is to both be possible love interests (even tho i wasnt thrilled by the idea of either of them. louis and violet are good thanks), but no amos gets with one of the sisters and dies 💀 and the girl is calling clem "baby" before book 1 is even over................................................................ LIKE WHAT IS THIS. also why tf are these 3 TEENAGERS..ALONE... building new houses?? in the middle of winter in VERMONT!!?!?!?!?? make it make sense im begging. AND!!! theyre LEAVING!! this community!!!! at the end of the book??? WHAT?? not only did they scrap the s4 teen community but their own freaking teen community as well and now theyre going to an island or something??? and its sounding like an "island of dr moreau" reference so thats... idk im bored already. like what are we doing. what is this
and i cannot BELIEVE... clems reasoning for leaving the school.... is that she felt like the kids were treating her differently?? that people thought since she lost her leg that she was like.. useless?? the ericson kids would QUITE LITERALLY NEVER. you know aside from the fact that louis or violet could end s4 with their own disability giving them something in common with clem since they receive their injuries at basically the same time and are getting used to their new limitations side by side... HOW MANY TIMES... did clem hear from different kids... that they owe their lives to her, that she protected them and gave them a fighting chance, that she turned ericsons into a safe place worth fighting for and saved them from being a bunch of scared kids hiding in the woods just waiting for something to happen to them, how without her theyd all be child soldiers or dead....... ericsons as a community was all about these traumatized abandoned kids banding together to take care of each other in a harsh world where everyone neglected and forgot about them. they were a bunch of "troubled" kids nobody wanted not even their own families, who each were suffering from their own issues and became a tight knit group where they all looked out for each other. WHERE... IN ANY OF THIS..... does it make sense for clem to feel ostracized?? for them to treat her differently??? just because of her leg (which again shes not the only one with a disability)?? which aj specifically states he will make her a new one? lets also not get into the fact of what her losing her leg is supposed to symbolize because ive said it a million times. but i guess it makes sense for that to be retconned too since its all about her not being on the road anymore and how she has a stable and safe community of people she loves who she can rely on (which is what shes been wanting since...forever). cant have that if we're gonna shove her out on the road again and give her the same problems she had when she was young teen
also.. why tf.. does clem suddenly know NOTHING?? about WOUND CARE?? lets ignore the fact that shes leaving the school before her leg is even completely healed (wtf). but like......clem has known basic wound care since SEASON 2.. an entire scene is literally clem escaping the shed because she knows itll be bad if her dog bite is left to fester. so she breaks into the house. steals supplies to clean and patch herself up. and then LITERALLY. CLEANS AND STITCHES HERSELF... AT 11 YEARS OLD. leading to the classic and iconic "im still not bitten" line. and aside from literally everything shes learned on the road, theres also ruby? who was literally trained by the school nurse and was definitely taking care of clem and her wound and you KNOW ruby would be on top of it too like "clem did you clean today did you change your bandages let me know if you need help i have more bandages if you need them also painkillers and dont forget to rest"
also i have to just quick mention how fuckin Lame it is that she names her prosthetic "kenny" fuck off. having a character say "yeah. thats a good name" does not make it a good name that actually makes it more glaring honestly. and her flashbacks about lee and how shes like.. mad at him for not saving her or something?? or for like leaving her alone or whatever? its so.. like.. what the fuck... i hate it so much... it feels so childish honestly?? clem never blamed lee for Anything he fought so hard for her and she knows that. i feel like if anything she would have guilt for running away in the first place since its the reason he got bit? its not HIS fault he fuckin died. and he walked through hell to make sure he got her to safety
ok. i think thats everything new i have to add. there were a lot of other problems too but i dont feel like sitting here ripping this book to shreds again i just want to pretend it doesnt exist. ive at least completely separated it from the rest of twdg and i can look at it as its own mess. that is NOT clementine and i can say that with 1000% certainty now. now its just like watching a car wreck. but i know that clem is still back at ericsons enjoyin her fuckin life and vibing
#twdg#skybound x#i think thats the tag i used for it#replies with lexi#incognito#it sucks...i hate it...#ive seen some people say that if it wasnt clem and was instead some random new character it wouldnt be so bad#but idk#i think it still has problems separate from clem being the main character#but it being clem is definitely where the most of the problems stem from
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I know tumblr is not the best place for relationship advice but pls lol
Also fair warning this is a long post and TW for mention of suicide
Some backstory: my boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been together for two and a half years. I struggle with severe depression and occasional psychotic symptoms (mood swings, hallucinations, irrational thoughts, etc). I was also diagnosed with cancer in January 2022. I recently had to quit my full time job due to mental and physical health reasons, so he is the only one working right now.
So for the past several months, but especially the past few weeks or so my boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot and I’m not sure what to do or if it’s healthy.
There’s always an array of things the arguments are about but usually they can be boiled down to one of us not feeling appreciated/not feeling loved/feeling like we’re being taken advantage of.
Our most recent argument started yesterday afternoon. A mutual friend of ours surprised me yesterday late morning and helped me clean our apartment almost the whole day, it was like 4-5 hours, with a break for lunch of course. Later on she had asked me if my bf and I could babysit because her fiance had gotten tickets to a baseball game and she wanted to go, but she didn’t wanna ask her mom to babysit since she had been watching her all day. I agreed but let her know that it would probably just be me.
Later when we were on the way back to her apartment my boyfriend had gotten off work and gone home. He called me and was immediately rude as I answered the phone, and he complained about how when we were cleaning/organizing, we moved some of his stuff to where he didn’t like it. He was mainly upset that we moved his (large amount) of alcohol bottles to a separate shelf rather than it taking up 1/3 of our already limited counter space. I told him that if he didn’t like where we put the stuff then he should help me clean on the weekends so he could decide where it goes himself. He got really upset and said that since he works and I don’t, it’s my job to clean and he doesn’t have to clean since he works, and that I should know it’s rude to “throw his stuff on a shelf in the corner”
Our friend hears him and when she sees him she goes off on him for awhile about how you talk to someone you love that way, and I didn’t hear much of what was said but what I did hear it sounded like he mainly put blame on me and put me down to try and justify his words and actions.
We argued about it on and off for the rest of the night but I thought by the time we went to bed we were fine.
When we woke up this morning within 30 minutes he was mad again, this time about how we don’t have enough money for groceries this week, bills, or gas for him to get to work. The way he said it made it feel like he was blaming me for not being able to work, so I felt guilty and asked my mom for $30 to help with groceries. He also somehow got a refund for our dinner we had last night, so that was $25-30 back.
After we go grocery shopping I have to go make a return at Big Lots, and when we’re walking out he insists on going into the liquor store next door. I say okay but let him know he shouldn’t get anything since we don’t really have money to pay our bills. Well after 20 minutes in there he buys a bottle of liquor, not sure what or how much but most of the stuff he was looking at was $30-45.
I get visibly upset and when he asks I tell him that it’s irresponsible for him to have an attitude with me and get mad about not having enough money for bills and food, to where I have to ask family for money, but then he goes and buys alcohol. This causes another fight and he goes off on me about how he’s “tired of me bitching at him” and that I won’t let him have fun, I have a problem with everything he does, etc.
A couple of months ago he had mentioned that I need to be more appreciative of him because not many people would have stayed with me through my cancer treatments and my psychiatric hospital stay for a suicide attempt. I haven’t brought this up to him since he said it but I think about it often.
I know I am definitely not perfect and I know I can get an attitude pretty easily sometimes, but I feel like he doesn’t give me as much credit as I deserve. My mental health makes it extremely difficult for me to regularly keep up with house chores, and I always let him know when I’m having a particularly bad day and not much will get done. At the time he says it’s okay but he always holds it over my head the next time we have a confrontation. I really do love him but I am also so tired of feeling like I’m just a maid that’s shitty at her job. I don’t know how to go about fixing this or if there is any way to even do so.
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1819
When’s the last time you ate bread?
I had a burger from Wendy's earlier today.
What’s the last movie you watched on your own?
I watched a local comedy movie called Ang Tanging Ina, which translates to The Only Mother. It's one of those movies that are almost deliberately bad that it ended up a comedy classic, but the plot is really nice so I ended up liking it. It's an easy watch for sure.
What about the last movie you watched with another person?
You've Got Mail. It was an event of a client and they were screening that for Valentine's Day, and I snuck into the cinema for a few minutes to watch a few scenes since I've never seen it before.
How many coats do you own?
None. I don't need coats where I live.
What about shoes?
Somewhere around 10-15.
One word to describe your most recent ex?
Selfish.
Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now?
Realistically I would love to move somewhere like Cebu or Davao, so that it can still be in the city but life can also be quieter and slower.
Do you like snow?
I've never seen snow, so I wouldn't know yet how I feel about it.
Do you like sheer clothing?
Eh not really, they demand creativity and some style knowledge and I'm not nearly as passionate about fashion to decide on things like that lol.
Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street?
Sure, but being in PR I deal with a lot of famous people on a regular basis so seeing celebrities isn't really something I'm limited to encountering in the street.
Are you hungry right now?
I am, a little bit. I'm seeing someone for early dinner in around an hour or so though so I should be alright.
Are you regularly tired?
Yes, being in the corporate world and having your braincells sucked out of you on a daily basis isn't the best walk in the park.
What was the last thing to upset you?
Continued from this afternoon. Being late to the said dinner I mentioned earlier. I hate wasting people's time by being late, and Metro Manila traffic is just the worst for making you late no matter how much time you allot for travel.
How’s the weather been today?
I was indoors and in air-conditioned rooms all day long so it'd be hard for me to tell how it was like today haha.
What was the first tattoo you got or what would be the first tattoo you’ll get?
I'd love a really small and subtle reference to BTS. Seven dots, and then each color is matched to their mics.
What was the last store you went into and did you buy anything?
I went to a Lawson yesterday to get the biggest bottled water available, because I had a mini fainting/dehydration incident and all my companions insisted I get the fuck inside and get some water, lol.
Have you ever been late for school or work?
I was late for college classes more times than I can count, but the most unforgettable moment for me was that time in like...high school (or like Grade 6 or 7? I can't quite remember) when the bus broke down and we got to school by ~8:15 AM – extremely late. Everyone else went down but my anxiety was through the roof that day and I didn't want to have to face walking into the classroom while the first subject was already starting, so I just asked them to take me home.
As for work, I technically have a grace period which allows me to report to work by 10 AM latest and yeah I tend to maximize that from time to time.
Do you prefer to shower in the morning or at night?
Morning. I need to shower first thing in the morning – it makes me feel refreshed and calm before work.
What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler?
No thanks.
Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for?
We don't.
Have you driven a car today?
Yep. In fact I'm taking this survey from my car just for a bit of change.
Do you have a small, medium or large bedroom?
It's the smallest bedroom in the house but I'd say it's still medium-sized for me; it fits all of the things I own comfortably.
Where was your first job and how old were you?
I was an intern in my current workplace. I was 22 when I started.
Have you eaten soup this week?
No, it's not really something I tend to get a lot.
Are you a fan of The Office?
I've started with a few Season 1 episodes last December but haven't gotten back on it since. It's hilarious, but it hasn't given me that ~spark or oomph the way Friends immediately did.
When was the last time you started a new medication?
Never really been on long-term medications. Last thing I had to take was stuff to help recover from Covid.
What is your favourite type of nut?
Pecan, pistachio.
Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name?
Used to.
Have you put your phone on silent today?
Yep, it's always on silent Mondays through Fridays.
Can you name all 50 US state capital cities?
I cannot.
Do you read John Green novels?
I did when I was in grade school.
Have you ever been to Universal Studios?
I've been to the one in Singapore.
Can you tie balloons?
I cannot.
When was the last time you were at a pet store?
Years and years and years ago.
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I'm planning to finally write the long awaited update to my first medium article on Sly, so I went back and read my past articles and holy shit did I dump trauma into them. God. The one where I talk about needing to replace Ope because he won't survive much longer if I keep chewing on him pretty much documented how my life fell apart when Cazza left remission for the last time. Seeing photos of her on it made me fucking break. I tried reading the one about stuffed dogs that resemble Spot and I had her REVIEW EACH ONE. She was like my little coauthor. God.
No wonder it's gotten so much harder to write those. I'm missing my best friend who gave irreplaceable input.
I want to write the Sly II of Sly II though because I want to share the collective information I've found about Sly since then. It's criminal that unless you get your hands on a tag of Charlene's forever toys to read it yourself their stories are all lost to time.
If I had the energy I'd make my own fansite. Provide more lore info than egnome provides for them. But sadly I'm too exhausted. Just Sly for me. Also you literally have to buy one complete with tags to see the whole tag story and obviously I'm going to limit the amount of 300 dollar stuffed animals I buy thank you very much. My first, Sly II I got for way less than he's worth and my upcoming Christmas present I'm drastically reducing my calorie intake to afford. (Don't worry, they are raising my disability income for the new year and I'm not destitute yet lol)
I just. Man. I keep thinking what it must have been like when Charleen was around and actively making these guys. Meeting up at toy expos and such. All in the US, yeah, but still. Would have loved to meet her. Asked all about Sly. Back when her toys were still in production getting promotional materials would have been easier too. Apparently she had a little fan magazine she shipped out every so often where people could send in letters? That's the sort of stuff you don't get with mass produced toys but is also too much work for modern independent creators who are treading water in today's economy. The egnome mailing list doesn't even work anymore. I wonder when it stopped running.
I'm still not giving up on trying to recreate my own backup Sly, but I'm just so tired all the time. I wish I had a workshop and wasn't just doing everything in life straight outta my bedroom. If you saw my bedside table situation and the mess it is you'd all hurl. The discount section of a fabricland was shit out all over every even remotely flat available surface.
As futile as it seems and as tired as I am, I am also pleased to report that some level of progress is being made though. I'm designing ideas to make my own take on the character distinct enough from the original. I'm also on that subject thinking about finally learning how to quilt. For real this time. Using my roommate's sewing machine is a pain in the ass so most of what I'm doing is by hand so not as nice looking but I have more control and am less likely to murder my hand.
I keep wishing we could go to the other thrift store so I can go on a quest for a ton of vintage buttons. I'm looking for upholstery buttons specifically. God that's another thing. I love buttons. You know that? I should make a quilt that also serves as a button collection. And I still want to one day make a quilt from many of Cazza's old things but currently I can't bear to alter them in any way so I've put them in a tote in my closet so I don't stare at them and cry.
Good news in that I cleaned my room a bit and that Scott is almost finished with his ear medicine. He's become such a good boy about letting me out the drops in his ears. Really adaptable he is.
I keep thinking about how I wish I could go back to drawing tons of Heart of Darkness fan art again. But I remind myself that my very own Whisky died in my arms and yeah. It's no wonder I don't have the heart to do what I'm passionate about anymore.
Maybe I make a Sly entirely out of the dollar store paw print blankets of which Cazza died with. I'd get brand new ones, enough to make the Sly, don't know how many that would take but they're a nice texture. I have old fleece I got at a discount that reminds me of the Cazza collar maybe I could make a Cazza Sly and give him a Cazza collar.
Another thing is there's just been no info on the crying dog. None at all. I didn't stop caring about him. Just that nothing new has happened. Very sad.
Hopefully playing pikmin 3 and then 4 will be a nice reprieve. I can hope.
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November 24 2022, that's when i found him. same place, he liked my dog video. 'he looks cute but he's 20, baat krne mai kya hi jaara hai'.
We talk, he's sweet. He's a Swiftie, green flag. He's a harry too? Woah green flag. He reads. My type🫶. He smokes :( huh okay. He's affectionate? Nice. His love language is physical touch ig. Cute. Gave me a nickname. Sweet. Replies real slow. Annoying, but it's okay. Has a nice voice. I show someone's photo or tell him about my friends or my sister, he says things that hurt. Maybe I'm just jealous tho. Feels like he genuinely likes me. Maybe i like him too. I do feel good around him. Love his touch and embrace. He's comfy. He's still with me bears me. Would he ask me for something official tho?
December 15, 2022, we meet for the first time. I had college, we met after college. We went to hauz khas. I was super late, he didn't mind that tho, can't find the word to describe the feeling that i felt when i saw that he wasn't angry that i was late. We took an auto from the metro station. Had to go to hauz khas fort but that was closed :( but it's okay. We were there next to each other enjoying our company. We walked around there, went to a record store, so aesthetic🤌. Went to a bookstore type of a thing, so cute. I was browsing books he clicked my pictures, i didn't even know. Oou. We had momos. We talked, we hugged. I felt what actual sparks feel like. His hand not even touching me but just near me. His hand on the back of my bag, sparks. He asks 'should i hold it for you?' i say 'why' he says 'you must be tired', that was considerate of him. I didn't let him tho, strong feminism comes in the way lol. We talked, we hugged, his hug was the most comfort I've felt from a guy in ages. Now in metro, he's coming from my route instead of his usual one. Maybe he just wanted to be with me for a while longer, same as i wanted to be with him. Or maybe he was just being nice idk. We were listening to music, me leaning against the glass, his hand behind my head, his other hand on my cheek. Sparks part idek at this point. We reach our 'now we go seperate ways station' sad I didn't wanna leave just yet. We hug goodbye we go home.
I wonder if he still has that he took of me in his phone. I wonder if he thinks of me as I think of him. I wonder if he looks at our pictures just randomly out of the blue cause it feels good. I wanna touch him, hug him, feel his hand interlocked with mine.
December 18, 2022. We meet again. His roomate kicking him out, i tell him to come to my flat. At one point idek if I'm serious or joking. It was 90% seriousness tho. I trusted him so much I know nothing's gonna happen. I knew we won't exceed a limit. We could kiss. I wanted to kiss. Hes in my room, he's taking in my room. He likes the deodrant i put. I like it too. He says it's a nice room, its not so nice tho. But okay. He comes to me says i didn't hug him. I'm on the bed. I open my arms he comes forward to hug me, we lay down. Were together, arms around each other, i like his embrace, i like this, this hug is nice. I miss it already. I have my laptop behind us. I have to remove it so it won't break. We break apart. Im cold. Anxious. But it's a good kind of anxious. I'm nervous. Hes on the other side now, his back on the wall resting, his legs spread forward. I keep the laptop i go to him, my head on his shoulder. I like that. Were together. I like his company. Were laying down. Holding hands. His hand on my waist. Sparks. My hands are cold. I like him, i do. He's laying on his side facing me, I'm laying on my back facing the wall. His hand on my cheek, his finger rubbing the side of my mouth, my cheek. His thumb stroked my lip. Oh, that didn't feel wrong tho. He wants to kiss me? I want to kiss him? His thumb on my bottom lip holding it out.*screams internally*. I lay on my side facing him now. Please kiss me. Please ask me if i wanna kiss I'll say yes. Please kiss me. He says something, I couldn't make out what it was tho. He finally asks 'can i kiss you?' Why am i hesitating? Say yes bitch. You wanted him to ask you and you said you'll say yes. I said yes. We kiss. The perfect kiss. The tenderness of the kiss and the gentle feel of his lips. I like that. I like the kiss. His hand on my neck, he's feeling my heartbeat. He kisses me with his hand still around my neck and my collarbone. Woah. Sexy. My heartbeats fast cause he asks 'kissing increased the heartbeat right?' maybe that's what he wanted to feel all along. How his kiss raises my heartbeat. Woah. Sexy. (Haha)
His hand on my exposed skin, he asks if that's okay. I say yes. Were kissing again. His hands start to go inside my shirt. I like how it feels when his hand traces my back and my shoulders. I like how his hands are touching my boobs. It feels good somehow. It doesn't feel bad. I let him do it. His hand all over my body. I let him. I like it. It felt good. He asks me to come on top of him, i do. I wonder if I'm squeezing him, i wanst tho. Were kissing. His hands on my body. Inside my pants, his hand on my butt. Still feels good. He takes it out tho. His hands my upper body, tracing my back, my shoulders, my boobs. Why does it feel comforting. Why does it feel right. We broke apart. Hes looking at me I'm looking at him. I could see in his eyes even through the darkness in the room. He's complementing me. Cute. He's so cute. And so nice. And so sweet. How can a guy be that pretty. Physically and mentally. Its unreal how it feels. Moment interrupted. Its fine tho. He's still here, he's in my room. Our lips all swollen and red and it still feels good. Were back together on the bed. Were kissing again. His lips feel so good. I wanna kiss him more. I wanna kiss him within the kiss.
He's on top of me now. His body on my waist. His weight on me. Wow. Everything is so still within this. Were kissing. His hand under my shirt again. Keep it there. Sometime in between all this he asked if i wanted to do something other than this, something more. I say no. He knows I'm turned on tho. I wonder if he was. His hand on my body. His lips on mine. His eyes on me, everything goes still.
Its time to go. Why does he have to leave. I overheard his roomate on call. 'apni bandi' he says. Omg he told someone about me. His smile is so pretty. I wanna touch him. He has to leave. Why. Don't leave.
I'm happy.
I turn 18. I tell him about Jordon. He deserved to know. Why does he regret kissing me? He says he's not going anywhere. Its not gonna work out? He needs time. Oh. Understandable. Still hurts tho. But it's okay. I miss his voice. Ah i just want him. Its either him or idk. Can't find a better guy than him.
<3
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abt the ned thing - i was amazed ariel was seen out with ned with her wedding ring on cause my ex cheated on me and i put a nail in his tire, but then i was like... yeah. she has the try wives podcast, she has that baby podcast with him, they have a youtube channel or w/e. i think she also has a store but i would imagine the VAST majority of her income is from ned-associated shit. she CANT hardly leave him. what we've learned is that you never tie your income to a man.
Yeah, I'm not so surprised either because of some of the reasons you already mentioned. I mean they probably had a month now to discuss and plan this situation and public announcement through. I also understand, emotionally and financially, if Ariel wants to give it another try. They have two small kids, they built a house together and she also invested into the Try Guys. It is also such a scandalous, public affair that it can lead to them actually sticking close together, at least for a while, bcs they're going through it together, even if it is his fault.
Personally I think it depends on the people how they handle cheating, I don't think one size fits all. I also think a drunken peck on the lips is a different level of cheating than a full blown, one-year, affair and those things often require different measures. Though my personal feeling is when someone's partner is going behind their partner's back and lies for an extended amount of time and never comes clean on their own...kick the cheater out and don't look back it's unlikely you'll ever be able to trust them again.
Anyway, we don't know these people. So it's all just speculation based on what little facts we have.
Maybe she knew about his cheating, maybe they had some open relationship type arrangement? I mean, apparently he was known for drunkenly getting touchy with women on nights out for a longer time. I totally doubt she would agree to that but I guess that's the only way I can make sense of him cheating so publicly for so long...
Honestly I hope she doesn't have to worry about the financial aspect if she should leave. Her and the Try Guys/Try Wives seem to be real friends to a degree and it looks like they all took her side. If they're real ones they could say 'hey Ariel, don't worry, we'll take care that you don't have to financially struggle as long as the kids are still small, we support you/keep working with you' 🤷🏻♀️
From my very limited and subjective impression of Ned, I would not be surprised if he would cheat again if she should take him back. He seems like the type who might grovel for a while then feel like his ego isn't fed enough and hook up again with a younger chick. But that is my realism/cynicism, you decide. The TMZ pics where he looks so smug and smiley are of course only a snapshot of a moment but it doesn't make him look good, it makes him look like he enjoys the attention.
lol I'm not a Try Guy fan, if I was/am ever a fan of something buzzfeed related it's the Ghoul Bois. But I am aware of the Try Guys since so many years. I draw and that's an activity were you often consume a lot of media in the background and over the years I did end up watching a couple of Try Guy's related videos every couple of months. Enough to know the who is who and the relationships. I think when Eugene's coming out video dropped they were more on my Youtube radar again. I'm mainly here because the gossip is so juicy, like that the wife guy gets outed as cheater WITH AN EMPLOYEE is just such irony and I just really have a personal hate for guys who cheat, especially on women who raise their kids, and I never knew enough about Mulaney and that Maroon 5 guy to care. lol
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Hiii! Been delving into Steter now, in the year of our lord 2021, even though I never really did when I was active in the fandom years ago and I was wondering if you'd have some longfic recs for the ship? Like, fics that are Classics(TM)? But happy endings! And I'm not super into those in which Stiles is still underage 😬 do u have any recs? Thanks!
Welcome to the Steter fandom! I definitely have some long fics to rec, some of them are super old lol, and I'll stick to ones around 20k or over, and most of them are finished. And hmm, considering the ship, and a lot of fics like to start off in season 1 where Stiles is still technically a teenager, I'll try to limit these to ones with Stiles being at least 16/17 before anything starts happening, and only 18+ if there's explicit content. I hope that's okay.
drowning in the sea of you by Corpium
Beacon Hills was perfect for Stiles growing up, but now, with werewolves, hunters, and an anxious best friend running around, it's turning into a place too chaotic for an empath like Stiles to handle alone. And pain killers can only go so far.
Wake Me Up by ToAStranger
Stiles has been in a coma for six years. Now he's awake.
Tremors by Corpium
(Stiles has a taste for him now. All Peter needs to do is wait.)
Surviving Peter and the Zombie Apocalypse by Nopennamesleft
Its the end of the world and Stiles has run out of luck. He saves a werewolf from certain death. Will they begin to rely on each other to survive or will the wolf just eat Stiles for a midnight snack?
Bite Down by EclipseWing
In which Stiles is forced to survive the zombie apocalypse with a sociopathic murdering werewolf for company.
as you are by veterization
Stiles runs straight into a tree and suddenly, things are... different. Namely, he's in a world where Peter Hale is his boyfriend.
Call My Name by KouriArashi
After moving to Beacon Hills, Stiles starts having recurring dreams of a man in some kind of prison, who needs his help. Things get so bad that he ends up in Eichen House, where he finds out that the man is real.
Devil of Mercy by KouriArashi
Peter's heard people talk about what it felt like when they saw their mate for the first time, from those who actually believe in the mystical bullshit. Like a magnet, like gravity. Peter just feels... sharply curious.
Whiskey is My Kind of Lullaby by taylorpotato
Peter is a simple saloon owner on one of the outer planets between the Aaru Belt and the Olympus Galaxy. He’s done with trouble. Done with adventure. So fucking done with rustlers. That is, until a cute young outlaw named Stiles wanders into his bar. Peter has this problem where he can’t seem to resist charming narcissists (perhaps because they remind him of himself). And when said narcissists turn his life upside-down, the worst part is he’s not even that upset about it.
Proposing To Strangers by moonstalker24
At the end of a strained relationship, crime novelist Stiles chooses to hide from the world inside a bar with far too many motorcycles outside it for comfort. Here he'll meet the man of his dreams, eat food and propose marriage, all within the first five minutes.
Peter doesn't know who this kid is, but he's cute and looks like he could use a break. So he feeds him. He's not expecting a marriage proposal, but with what comes after, he doesn't really mind.
Stiles Stilinski, Disaster Chef by Guede
The zombie apocalypse forces Stiles to learn how to cook.
The Will by Guede
We are gathered here today for the reading of Gerard Argent’s will.
On the Importance of Lunar Influences in Gardening by Guede
“Oh, it’s you again,” Stiles sighs. He puts down his basket and drops the bunch of onions into it, and then dusts off his hands. “Can’t you get your own strawberries? I mean, I have it on good authority that wild strawberries? They’re a thing. They exist. They’re out there.”
“But Stiles,” says the werewolf dangling by one foot from the tree, sticky red smears around his mouth and all over his fingers. “Your berries are so juicy, so ripe. Those ones in the woods are mere passing indulgences compared to the royal feast you have in your garden.”
Genii loci Stiles and his father run a community garden, and it’s all good, except for the werewolf who keeps sneaking over the fence to raid Stiles’ strawberry patch (and the hunter who’s constantly hanging around his father).
Runes and all kinds of things by FeelingsDusk (WIP)
Enough is enough. Stiles is tired of being always a last choice when he always tries to do his best for his precious people, so they better get their act together or face being left behind.
OR
The things in the Argent's basement get nearly fatal, the Sheriff finds about the supernatural, Allison can have a wicked, wicked mind and Peter Hale appears to be everywhere.
Oh, and Stiles can't seem to stop breaking the laws of physics with his magic.
Sanctuary by DiscontentedWinter
The Hale Wolf Sanctuary isn’t just for wolves.
It turns out it’s for Stilinskis as well.
Out Of The East, Never See The Sun Rise by neglectedtuesday
In the beginning, there are three absolutes.
One. Stiles is a god, forged of starlight and collapsing galaxies and he is eternal.
Two. Peter is human, fragile bone and viscous blood and he is temporary.
Three. Stiles and Peter are in love; love that claws its way inside one’s heart like fish hooks; all encompassing love that is beautiful but dangerous.
Stiles is a god. Peter is human. They love each other.
Three absolutes.
You Had Me at Canapes by LadyArinn
Stiles doesn't mean to sneak into the Hale wedding, and he certainly doesn't mean to have cliche coat-room sex with the bride's uncle, but what had happened, happened, and it wasn't like he could just leave. At least, not until he got to have some of that cake.
Infinite Space by DiscontentedWinter
Stiles needs Peter's expertise to help stop the latest threat to Beacon Hills.
And, as the pack falls apart around him, he might even need Peter for more than that.
Hook, Yarn, Sinker by pprfaith
Stiles is happy with his store, his hobbies, his friends. Peter's just trying to figure out how to raise his nieces and nephew without fucking them up too badly.
Paths cross.
Open Wounds by Guede
Talia got out of the fire with Peter, but everyone else died. Years later, they’re still struggling with injuries, but they’ve at least settled in with oddball werewolf Stiles. And then other werewolves start showing up. Familiar ones.
Bittersweet Creek by Guede
When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.
For Great Justice! by Green
Stiles is a vengeance demon, drawn to Peter just as he's waking from his catatonia.
"Whoever did this? We will make those fuckers suffer. I promise you."
Bone Deep by ShippersList
A body in the woods, a mate, and a long-awaited revenge.
Peter had no idea how his life would change when he followed the strange pull in his chest.
Love What is Behind You by KouriArashi
Basically what it says on the label. Hunger Games type fusion. Stiles doing way better than anyone anticipates. Peter finds him intriguing. Ruthless, devious assholes working together to ruin bad guys, as the Steter ship is meant to be.
Soothing the Burn by Therapeutic_Steter (WIP)
Peter is burnt out and breaking down. Stiles notices and offers him solace, along with the one thing he wants most: Pack.
Til Death by Bunnywest
“How long do we have to find him someone?” Stiles asks.
“Two weeks,” says Derek, eyebrows pulling down even further. The fierceness of his expression tells Stiles just how concerned he is.
“He marries, or he goes to the camps. And you know what your father told us,” Scott reminds her.
The camps……aren’t camps.
Peter either finds a wife, or he dies.
Ink Blossoms by Triangulum
"So, you're going to ruin your niece's baby shower with flowers in the wrong color?" the florist, Stiles, asks when they reach the counter. He pulls out a binder and starts flipping through it.
"Not ruin. Mildly inconvenience," Peter says.
"Right, messing with a hormonal pregnant woman seems like a great plan."
"To be fair, her fiance and the father of her baby is my ex-boyfriend," Peter says. "And we weren't broken up when they started 'dating'."
Stiles looks up at him in surprise. "And you're still getting her flowers?" he asks.
"It's under duress, I assure you," Peter says. He absolutely wouldn't be here if his alpha hadn't ordered it.
"Well, shit, yeah, let's get you some purple revenge flowers," Stiles says.
After You by FlyAwayMeow (rjaejoo)
It’s true that sometimes what you want the most, you can’t have and that you’ll miss what you once had all along when it’s finally gone.
After breaking his engagement to Chris, Peter heads to New York to start over. He meets Stiles, a young author at his publishing house who helps him piece his confidence back together. When tragedy strikes, he discovers how to finally let go of his past and have the family and future he's always wanted with the pieces already in his life.
love me lights out by veterization
Stiles and Peter get snowed in together. (Or: what happens when you accept phone calls from people you haven't spoken to in over five years.)
Uncle Peter Doesn't Date by Mellow (SweetCandy) (WIP)
“Oh don’t lie, you love it.” Peter purred and winked at his newest arm candy, who spluttered for a few seconds, before blushing like a 16 year old virgin. Considering how young he looked Laura wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually 16.
“Shut up Peter!” Bambi squeaked, still flushing and averting Laura’s eyes. “Well, anyways, I’m,”
‘Bambi’.
“Stiles. Stiles Stilinski, pleasure to meet you- again.” Stiles smiled sheepishly, obviously nervous.
Stiles Stilinski. Definitely a stripper then.
-
Or: Laura was prepared for whatever piece of armcandy her uncle had decided to show up with, what she hadn't been prepared for was Stiles Stilinski...her uncle's boyfriend.
Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363
Captivity easily destroys the will of escape. It can break the fiercest of animal. It can strip the most regal man and woman down to nothing but animal needs.
Captivity can, if met with unwavering determination, shape a person into something unimaginable.
Stiles is sixteen when he's captured. Stiles's first thought is, "I won't die here."
Baby Whisperer by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)
“What. Is that.”
Scott looked up at him, apprehensive.
“Her name’s Lily.”
Stiles stared at the fuzzy head peeking out of the papoose.
“Her. Her name. That is a real live human baby. Oh my God-”
“Actually I don’t know if she’s human?” Scott said with a confused frown. “Becca didn’t say.”
“Who the fuck is Becca?!”
Sacrificial Lamb by Bunnywest
The Alpha has a scruffy beard, unkempt hair and dazzling blue eyes. The scar on his face is raised, running down his cheek like a twisting, gnarled rope. Stiles knows that it came from the blade of Kate Argent herself, and that the Alpha got it fighting in the battle where Kate killed his lover, cutting his head clean from his neck, if the stories are to be believed.
The Alpha lets Stiles look his fill, before indicating that Stiles should take the other couch, and Stiles does so, his father’s words echoing in his ears. He can do this, can be pleasant and amenable. The lives of his people may depend on it. The Alpha spends long moments surveying him, before saying, “I like you, Stiles.”
You don’t know me, Stiles wants to blurt out, but he bites his tongue.
The Various Triumphs of Mischief Bilinski by Whispering_Sumire (WIP)
"Hello, Chris," sings a honeyed voice from behind.
Chris' attention snaps toward the intruder, his gun already out of its' holster and aimed at whoever it is — a boy, apparently, with braided russet hair, a red jacket, and wise eyes. He's wearing a gas mask, but Chris can tell by the way his eyes crinkle around the edges, the way sun-burnt sand swirls in his irises, that he's smiling.
Chris cocks his gun.
"You killed my father," he says.
"No offence, but he totally deserved it," the stranger agrees with cheerful solemnity.
"What the hell are you doing in my home?" Chris demands. The kid is perched on a windowsill in Chris' office, as nonchalantly as if this were something he did every day, as if they were familiar.
"I was just wondering," the kid speaks softly, fond amusement sewn through with a peculiar resignation, "how you'd feel about putting down some nazis?"
[Or: The one where Stiles goes back in time and subsequently fucks with everything.]
A Curious Magic by Triangulum
Overall, Stiles is very well-known in the supernatural community. It’d be hard not to be, not with how his reputation has grown like wildfire. He knows and is on good terms with nearly all the fae that reside in the preserve, the asrai that live deep in the lake, the Ito pack, the vampire couple that lives over in Beacon Valley (they buy an ethically-sourced food supply from Stiles), as well as almost every other supernatural entity in the area. But Talia Hale doesn’t like him, and a werewolf pack tends to do what their alpha tells them to.
So it’s a definite surprise when the wards at the edge of his property trip, the tingling down his spine telling him it’s a werewolf, the lack of burning sensation letting him know there’s no hostile intent. Stiles, in his office in the second floor turret, sets down the amulet he’s packing up for Marin and moves to the large window overlooking the front of his property. He’s expecting to see an Ito packmember, even though they nearly always call in advance, and is surprised to see a man that he recognizes as Talia’s brother, Peter.
Light in the Dark by cywscross
It still surprises Stiles sometimes, how easily he’s adapted. Seven months in a world filled with train tracks and soul-sucking fae, and it feels like he’s never known anything else.
~~
Or, the one where diverting the Ghost Riders from Beacon Hills to prey on a different town only succeeded in setting them free.
Vengeance Looks Good On You, Sweetheart by cywscross
Just because Scott refuses to see the Argents for what they truly are - prejudiced serial killers sitting proudly on a mountain of innocent corpses - doesn't mean Stiles will. It's about time someone did something about the Argent Empire anyway, and what a coincidence - summer vacation is just around the corner.
--
Or, the one where Gerard Argent kidnapped the wrong fucking person to torture. Stiles has never subscribed to the policy of forgiving and forgetting anyway, not when razing the problem to the ground and salting the earth for good measure has always been a far better solution in the long run.
He doesn't expect to have company.
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Immortality
Summary: The only thing missing in their relationship was time, time that was not set as he could live for a thousand years and you could only live through a fraction of it.
Warning: Slight Angst? Mostly Fluffy moment with a sort-of philosophical question? (lol what?). Spelling and Grammar mistakes cuz English isn’t my first language. Not Beta’d. All mistakes are my own.
Characters: Unnamed Female Character (reader insert?) x Loki Laufeyson
Words: 1,160
A/N: Unironically, I was actually listening to Immortality by the Bee Gees ft. Celine Dion while I was writing this. So there’s that.
~
You could only smile and stare at the man besides you. Reading had not been your favourite hobby, but if it means spending time with him, even for just a couple of hours before he is pulled back into yet another mission that wouldn't guarantee he'd come back unharmed or worse, alive, you would take this moments. So you like to make the most out of the time that the two of you had.
Away from the noise of the compound, away from pestering of one Tony Stark or Thor Odinson, and away from the very idea of their relationship only being temporary. Not because you had no faith in him but the reality that he wasn't human but a God, and you were merely the human who would be lucky enough to reach your eighties with your unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise. Whatever time you could make with him, you make the most out of it.
The silence of the library that Tony had installed in the compound was comforting. Nothing much was heard between the two of them. The sound of the pages being turned and the grunt from him if something in the book was displeasing him.
"Your thoughts are running and I can hear it from here, my love." Loki's voice brought you back to the present.
"Will you mourn for me when I'm dead?" You asked, just idea of what life would be like for him when you were gone always made you curious.
Thor had always said there was a difference in Loki since meeting you, since you two had become a couple, since you had made those vows of faithfulness to each other. A difference that you could see even to this day. He was still the same ol' Loki that everyone still grows cautious and wary of even when he had proven himself as part of the Avengers. But you believe had become more mellow, more open to talk to anyone especially the Spider Kid that he could do no wrong to.
"What kind of question is that?" He hissed, the book he was reading now shut with a sharp thud before his focus was now on you. "Are you not feeling well? Must I force you to go see Dr. Banner again?"
You smiled, being reminded of the cold you tried so hard to assure Loki was nothing. But after a box of tissues empty and your lack of will to stand up from the bed, it was in his best interest to carry you--in your protest, to Dr. Banner's office just to have him check on you. You have now vowed never to let even a sniffle be unchecked by Bruce or any other doctor available in the compound.
"One of this days, I will shove a Golden Apple of Idunn to stop myself from worrying about you." he muttered realizing you weren't sick with the smile still playing on your face.
"What's that?" You inquired, leaning towards him more. The coolness of his skin permeated and you found comfort as he had pulled you closer into his arms., until you now rested on his lip, facing him in the same manner eyes gazing at you.
"A fruit in Asgard." He began, with a flick of his wrist, an illusion of a golden apple comes floating between the two of you. "It grants us youth, vigour and sometimes even immortality to Midgardians."
So there was a way for you to experience that kind of life.
"But..." You trailed off. You know there would be a catch with this sorts of things. Knowing life, the general balance that came with life and death, there will always be a condition to this.
"No catch. You will not lose a limb or lose your sanity." he smirked, the apple fading away as his cold comforting hands now cupped your cheeks. "It is a matter of if one mortal is willing to throw away their humanity, their family and friends for the sake of an immortality and the uncertainty of it."
Would you really be leaving anyone behind? You never had a good relationship with your parents growing up, and the last time you talked with any of your siblings was years now. You barely even know at this point how their life was at and what you were doing besides being a freeloader in the Avengers Compound, like they had bluntly told you one call during Christmas.
The friends you had now, mostly the Avengers, had a higher life expectancy--unless death comes to them in another way. But they were all that you could really call as family. The only ones that actually matter.
"Do you have one with you?" You inquired. Such a change was profound, something many would think more than twice about, but seeing him, seeing what you have in store in the form of a Trickster God that had vowed to worship the ground you walk in.
"Depends." He cupped your cheeks. Thumb caressing against your bottom lip. "Are you going to take it if I do have one?"
"Will you let me?" You smirked leaning closer to him now. The warmth of his breath and the coldness of his touch was a perfect contrast.
"My want and what you may need maybe completely different from one another, My Love." The way his blue hues fall from your face, now a deep thought lingered just as much as you had come to terms about the difference it may be. "I cannot make you choose to stay even if I want to. I accept the curse of immortality, making the most of what we already have."
"What if I want the apple? Will you give it to me right now?" You asked again.
"More than ever."
'
"Will you not get tired of me?"
"Never." he shook his head, once again meeting your eyes. The brilliance of his azure eyes only made your decision more evident.
Maybe it would be a selfish decision, but you wanted this, you wanted this little things. This little moments with Loki wouldn't be limited. Forever seems like such a long time, but with him, with him in your life and by your side, maybe it wouldn't be so scary as many would try to convince her as such.
"Forever with you doesn't sound too bad." you assured finally standing back up to your two feet, Loki's hands now held onto your hands, refusing to let you go. "I've got you and everything else doesn't seem too bad."
"Even when you have to also live just as long as the oaf Thor?" he smirked, the seriousness of their conversation was long gone now.
"Don't make me change my mind Loki with such an argument." you snapped, walking away from the library to the cackle of your loving boyfriend.
What you had failed to realize that in the evening, you would get what you want.
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Omg congrats on 1k🥳🥳 concept- a blurb about love languages and like ur guys styles are diff lil angst pls heheheh
Author's Note: Hiiiiiii. How are you lovies? I know you probably all hate me cause I just disappeared but hopefully this will kinda make up for it for those of you who are actually still here. Fun fact never used the queue before so we'll see how that goes. Also I vaguely remember the read more thing not working that well with asks, but I don't remember what I used to do to fix that so hopefully this works. Love all of you and miss you *mwah* please interact with me so I get more motivation lol
The second the door shuts to the condo you share with your love, you can already hear his unmistakable voice call out for you, “Baby, come here! I have a surprise for you!” You roll your eyes, knowing that some insanely expensive gift was probably waiting for you around that corner. Shawn wasn’t the type to randomly spend a large portion of his money on things he didn’t need, but when it came to you, there was no limit to his spending. Anytime he saw something that reminded him of you or that he thought you’d look stunning in, he couldn’t stop himself from swiping his card. It wasn’t like you didn’t appreciate the copious amount of gifts he gave you; you knew he meant well and that one of his love languages was giving gifts. However, as someone who was raised to be independent and not accept “handouts” from anyone, you found it hard to be constantly given things you didn’t work for and you didn’t believe you deserved yet. You didn’t find it fair that you weren’t at that stage in your life where you could gift Shawn something as expensive as what he gives you, but you constantly get those things from him. It wouldn’t have phased you as much if it was just for holidays, but this was an almost every other day occurrence and no matter how many times you told him not to buy things for you, he never seemed to listen.
You sighed, putting your purse on the table and making your way towards the bedroom, desperately wishing you could just relax into a warm bath after your hard day at work instead of facing whatever your loving boyfriend had in store for you. Opening the door you were met with Shawn’s smiling face, a large box with the word Gucci written in bold lettering across it. You put on a fake smile as your heart sank. This couldn’t be what you thought it was could it? “Hey,” he put the box next to him in favor of pulling you onto his lap, “How was work today?” He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips and for a moment, you let yourself get pulled into the utter bliss that was Shawn Mendes.
“I won’t lie, not the greatest,” you sighed as you rested your head on his shoulder.
“Why, what happened?” he asked, his arm tightening around you to pull you closer.
“It was just insane today and my boss was in a bad mood and...I don’t know it was just bad and I’m exhausted.”
“Well, I think I have something that might cheer you up!”
“Shawn…,” you said in a mix of a whine and a stern tone, “I told you no more.”
“I know, I know,” he rushed out, placing the box in your hands, “I just want to spoil my girl. I can afford to do so and there’s no one else that deserves it more than you do.” It hurt your heart to hear him talk like that when not a single part of you felt you deserved it. You were nowhere close to where you wanted to be in your life career wise and you certainly weren’t near Shawn’s level of success. “Just open it, please?” he gave you his softest puppy dog eyes that always made you cave.
“Ok…” Opening up the box your heart stopped. There lying in the delicate paper was one of the most beautiful handbags you had ever seen; the one you had secretly been saving up for for almost a year now. You thought you had hid it from him so well, always looking at it when he wasn’t there to make sure you could still get it, and even putting together a small envelope of extra money to use towards it. This was supposed to be your first big designer purchase in honor of your huge promotion at work a little under a year ago today, but of course Shawn had to go and ruin it all for you.
Meanwhile, Shawn was oblivious to the disappointment and resentment brewing inside of you. “Do you like it?” he asked with the biggest smile, “I noticed the tab open on your computer last week when I borrowed it for those pictures and thought you liked it!”
“Why would you do this?” you whispered, a crack forming in your voice.
“What?”
“Why would you do this?” you almost snapped at him, looking at him with tears that held mixed emotions.
“B- because I love you,” he stammered, not having prepared to have this reaction. In his head you were going to come home, see the gift, smother him in thank you kisses, and maybe, just maybe, you would make love to him for the rest of the night. Never in his wildest dreams did it end up like this.
“If you loved me you would have listened to me and not bought this, or anything for that matter!” you exclaimed as you stood up off his lap, “I’ve told you so many times I don’t want you buying anything for me but you never listen!”
“I- I’m sorry, I just thought…”
“No that’s the thing, you didn’t think! I just- god, Shawn, this was it, the one thing I was going to do for myself after all these years. I was only $100 away from my goal, I was right there! But you can’t just think with your head for one second and think about how your girlfriend who always tells you that you don’t need to buy things for her might be planning on finally achieving one of her goals of having enough money to spend it on something like this!”
If your eyes weren’t filled with tears and you weren’t so blinded by your emotions you might have been able to see Shawn’s heart visibly breaking on the bed, leaving him looking like a hurt puppy. “I’m so sorry, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll, I’ll return the bag or or you can pay me back for it so it’s like you bought it yourself!”
“You don’t understand because you’ve never had any problems with money. It’s not the same anymore, Shawn. No matter what, all I’ll be reminded of is that you bought it first and not me.”
“What can I do? I, I swear I’ll do anything,” his voice cracked as his own tears filled his eyes.
“I don’t, I don’t know. I need to go.” You knew you were being dramatic, but after 2 years of the same thing with Shawn over and over again you had reached your breaking point.
“No please, I’ll fix this I promise,” he pleaded, standing up to face you.
You successfully avoided him so you could grab a small bag with your things, “Shawn, I need space for at least one night.”
He reached out for you this time, his large hand grabbing your arm desperately to turn you around, “Please, don’t go. I won’t buy you anything else, I swear!”
“It’s not that I just, I don’t know. I’m upset and I’m tired and my head is all over the place and…” His large hands cupped your jaw and pressed his lips hard against yours, giving you no space to pull away. The slight taste of salt from both of your tears on your lips broke your heart more than it was before. It was hard to explain why you weren’t fighting him on this kiss; it was almost as if he was kissing you so that it was easier to let you go for the night.
His lips released yours reluctantly with a sigh, “I’ll pack my things for the night. You stay here.”
“Shawn…”
“No, I was the one who messed up so I should be the one who has to leave. I still have a backpack I never unpacked from when I got back from LA last week and I can stay with my parents for however long you want. I- ,” he looked down shamefully, his hands finally dropping from your face. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make you happy, but I wasn’t even thinking of what would really make you happy. Just, just tell me when you’re ready for me to come back home.”
He made his way through the bedroom, grabbing his phone, wallet, backpack and guitar before making his way through the door. Your heart cried out to go after your love, but your feet stayed planted almost in shock of everything that just happened. You were still mad at him, upset with him, and if it was possible, even more upset and mad at yourself. So as much as you wanted to run after him, you let him walk away with half your heart in his hands.
____________________________
“Mom?” you sniffled as you sat on the edge of your bed, the infamous handbag discarded next to you as if it was taunting you.
“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” the soft voice of your mother filled the speaker.
“I messed up,” you confessed, “I really messed up and I don’t...I don’t…”
“Take a deep breath, dear, and tell me what happened. I’m sure it can be fixed.”
“I don’t know if it can. I’m a horrible person!”
“You are not a horrible person. Now tell me exactly what happened.”
She listed carefully as a mother does while you went through moment through moment of your lash out with Shawn, up until the point where he left. “I feel terrible, Mom. This was just the one thing I had planned to do for myself and he never took into account how I would feel about this even though I constantly tell him how I feel about gift giving.”
“Sweetheart, I know you so badly want to be an independent woman and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you’re in a relationship now which means not everything you do can be independent. Think about it from his point of view: all of these things he gets you he gets out of love. He doesn’t do it because he wants you to rely on him for money, he knows you’re not with him for that and it’s probably one of the reasons he loves you so much; you treat him like a regular person. Not someone who is just a pretty face that can buy you whatever you want and get you fame. However, he is someone with money and that means he can afford these things for you. It’s not to belittle any of your accomplishments in your career or financially because we both know how supportive he is of you. It’s simply because he wants to show you he’s thinking about you and spoil you to make you happy. I know gifts aren’t one of your main love languages, but it’s definitely one of his. I bet if you had told him about this bag and how much it meant to you instead of hiding it from him, he would have never dreamed of taking it away from you. I understand your immediate frustration, but maybe think about if you’re truly upset with him about this or if you’re upset with yourself for not being able to reciprocate.”
“You’re right, Mom.”
“Of course I’m right, I’m your mother!” she let out a light hearted laugh, “But seriously, go apologize to that boy. He’s probably beating himself up over this.”
____________________________
“Are you and Dad home right now?”
“Yes, why is something wrong?”
“Can’t I just be coming over to say hello?”
“Of course you can, but I can tell by your voice that something is wrong.”
A sad smile formed on his face at the fact that even over a car speaker, his mom was still able to read him like a book. “Y/n and I got into a fight.”
“Oh no,” his mother gasped, never hearing many difficulties between the two, “What happened?”
“It’s my fault, Mom, I was being selfish,” he replied defeated, his guilty heart weighing down on him, “You know how I love to give gifts right? Well, Y/n isn’t always the biggest fan of it because she loves being independent. But I can’t help it! She’s the first person who hasn’t been overjoyed over every gift I give her and I never understand because I just want her to be happy and I know they’re things she would like so...I just don’t think! I don’t know why I can’t take a hint and just do what she wants me to do! I just want to make her happy, Mom, and feel loved and all I’ve done is annoy her and upset her!”
“Ok, before you keep going on this self-deprecated spiral, I need you to tell me what happened. And no more blaming yourself until I’ve heard everything.” So he did. And just like the conversation unfolding back at his home, his own mother listened to every word he had to say.
“From my understanding,” she began, “And I’m not saying this to try to defend you, but it sounds like she is battling some problems of her own.”
“No, you don’t understand, I wasn’t listening to her…”
“Oh will you hush! I wasn’t finished. Could you lay off the gifts and make them every once in a while? Of course. However, I believe her outburst today had something to do with some financial conflicts she is facing and maybe just an overall bad mood. You’re not perfect, obviously you need to tone down the gifts just a little bit, but you were definitely not in the full wrong here. There was no way she could have expected you to know about her intentions and plans so you can’t blame that on yourself. She definitely felt that she had to hide it from you in fear that you wouldn’t listen, which might be another issue if she believes that you aren’t willing to budge on your point of view. But you should not go beating yourself up over this! She’ll come around to her senses and you two will be fine.”
“Thank you, Mom. I hope so, I miss her already,” Shawn pouted, wishing so desperately that he was driving back home instead of away from it.
“Of course. Now I’ll make sure your room is all ready for whenever you get here and I’ll stay up to give you a big hug. How does that sound?”
“Amazing, I’ll be there in…” the sight of your name popping up on his center console broke him from his thoughts, “Wait, Mom, she’s calling me. I’ll call you back.”
“Good luck honey!”
With shaky hands, he hit answer on the phone, “Shawn?”
Even just hearing his name out of your mouth brought him comfort, “Yes? Are you ok? Did something happen?”
“No, I’m fine. I mean I’m not fine, but physically I’m fine. Anyways, I’m going to ramble so I’ll just try to say this quick before I stray too far away from what I was going to say and before I get myself even more worked up again because who knows how long…”
“Y/n,” he stopped you, knowing you would ramble on forever, “Why did you call me?”
“Please come home.” His heart nearly lept out of his chest at your words, not needing to hear anymore. “I’m so sorry, Shawn. I should never have lashed out at you and…”
“Don’t say anything else. I don’t want to do this over the phone. I love you, please don’t apologize and I’ll be home in half an hour.”
“But, Shawn…”
“I love you and I’ll see you soon.” With that he hung up the phone and sped his way back through the Toronto streets to the girl he loved most.
____________________________
The second you heard the door open you ran to launch your body into his arms, abandoning your previous post of walking holes in the floor. He gladly accepted you against him, holding you tight in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, new tears rimming at your eyes, “Please forgive me.”
“Shushh, we both can apologize in a second. I just want to hold you.” Shawn maneuvered the two of you back onto your bed with you in his lap, still clinging onto him for dear life. He felt your tears wetting his shirt and while it broke his heart to know you were
hurting, he hoped that being close to you for these few more moments would show that he wasn’t mad at you. After a couple minutes passed, he loosened his grasp on you, “Y/n look at me.” You did as told, revealing your tearful eyes to him. “I’m not mad at you,” he promised as he wiped your tears away, “I’m not upset with you in any way. I forgive you for whatever you feel you need to be forgiven for and I hope you can say the same with me.”
“No, you have nothing to apologize for!” you protested, “You did nothing but try to show me love and make me happy and I’m so sorry I couldn’t look past my own selfish issues. Talking with my mom made me realize that the reason I have always been so apprehensive to receiving your gifts is because I’m not at the point in my career that I thought I would be and I'm letting out my resentment at myself on you. I know how wrong that is of me and I am so sorry for it. There’s nothing wrong with you expressing your love through gifts and I can’t express how sorry I am for making you believe that you were the issue.”
“I forgive you. And I’m sorry, too. I should have talked with you about this and taken into account how you didn’t respond the same way as my friends and family when I give them things and should have taken a step back. I realize my gifts are excessive and I will work to tone them back so they are more special. I love you, Y/n. Even being away from you for an hour after a fight was too much for me to bear.”
“I love you, too. I hated being away from you more than anything.” He kissed your lips passionately, transferring every emotion he had for you into that kiss. Hands caressed your body as yours held him tighter in fear of him disappearing and neither of you wanted to relive this night ever again. “Shawn?” you whispered against his lips, receiving a hum in response, “Thank you for the bag. I can’t wait to tell everyone how my loving and thoughtful boyfriend got it for me.”
“You don’t have to, I can return it.”
“Return it? This is my dream bag and the fact that you wanted to get it for me because you could tell I wanted it means a lot even though I had the absolute worst way of showing it.”
“Stop,” he kissed you again, “I don’t want you to worry about it any longer. Let me just love on you how I had planned tonight.” And while it might not have been the way Shawn had planned the night to go, he was ending it exactly how he wanted to.
#shawn mendes#mendes army#shawn peter raul mendes#shawn icons#harry styles#shawnblr#shawn mendes writing#shawmila#shawn mendes wonder#shawn mendes imagines#shawn mendes oneshot#shawn mendes angst#shawn mendes smut#shawn mendes story#shawn mendes fiction#shawn mendes fandom#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes x you#shawn mendes x y/n#shawn mendes blurb#writeblr#fanfic
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Genshin impact headcanon:
How they find out they’re in love with you
I was just listening to, “love songs,” by Kaash Paige and I got really imspired to do a cute little headcanon. I would recommend listening to the song while reading this cus it is a major vibe ;)
Pairings: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, albedo
Songs to vibe to for the headcanon lol
Zhongli:
Zhongli’s not used to feeling puppy love, those feeling are beneath gods. Especially after all of his years alive, he thought love was something that had run its course. In his earlier centuries, perhaps, but never now.
After meeting you for the first time, he grow fond very quickly of your childish remarks and youthful attitude. It refreshes him to know that not everyone is made of stone. And after your first encounter he goes out of his way to bump into you more and more often.
This usually disrupts your tasks with Childe, so he is the first one who catches on to Zhongli’s little interest in you. Childe will often bicker with Zhongli about it, but instead of snapping back Zhongli will just act oblivious about it.
Zhongli isn’t the type to think extremely deeply about things, so I don’t think he’ll have trouble accepting his feeling about you. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be surprised, and it might take him a while to really figure it out.
He goes back to the place you first had lunch with him and steals collects the cup from where you sat, holding the fragile price of antique in his hand and turning it slightly, inspecting it. He then circles the brim with his thumb, sighing and putting in his pocket. He then puts it on the shelve in his office. Looking at it time to time.
Further on into your friendship with him. Zhongli finds himself idolising your form and appearance. Caressing you hair when you hug him, lifting the stands to his face for a closer look, you’ll never know that though.
He’ll offer his arm to you when you walk around the harbour with him. Letting you wrap you hand around it while talking about your latest discoveries in Liyue. Rest your head on his shoulder and you may hear him suck in a breath. Trying to compose himself. It’s not everyday gods get attached to humans. So when it does happen, you can expect them to be way more possessive than the average significant other.
Albedo:
this man is quite awkward with his feelings ok? he could write a 30 page essay on the essence of human life but not one sentence could describe the way he thrives when your around him.
he would see you walk past the alchemy shop everyday, smiling and talking to the shopkeeper. Before he met you he wouldn’t think to much about it, but after the events in Dragonspine, he grows fond of staring at you outside the shop window, leaving his notebooks and research to sit idly and gaze. On some occasions he may even draw you, search through his notepad the next time the two of you meet and you might find out how many pages exactly he has of you.
the first ones to catch on to his little antics is his apprentices, Sucrose mainly. Though she wont pry too much, as Albedo would often call her ridiculous for thinking such things, she’ll giggle every time she sees Albedo at the window. Knowing exactly what he’s doing.
One day, while you are staying in Diluc’s tavern, Albedo goes wondering around the stalls in Mondstadt, buying flowers from the little girl near the gates. using his magic he evolves them into luscious blooms of colour, and begins his trek to the tavern. It is only once he reaches your room door does he realise what he’s actually doing. This is when it hits him. That perhaps you are worth more to him than his hunger for knowledge. He lets the flowers drop to floor. So many months of drawing your figure and longing for the taste of your touch and now he’s too scared to even knock on your door? he slouches and walks back to where he came from. Not bothering to pick up those beautiful flowers left behind. It is when you finally open your door to get fresh air do you almost step on them. Noticing their other-worldly hue, you knew only one man would have the kind of abilities to make these.
A week goes by, and you and Albedo are up in Dragonspine once again to do research on more artefacts he collected. He treads lightly in the snow, gazing at the way your eyes light up as you talk. he then flinches slightly when he feels your warm hand reach for his own, and you look up at him with a smirk. “The flowers where so beautiful, it’s a shame you didn't bring them to me yourself,” you then lightly kiss his cheek and walk off, leaving him a blushing mess in the cold.
Diluc:
Diluc is known to have little to no interest in women. Much to people’s dismay, this man has no intention of marrying a women so they can steal his money. That is until he met you, of course.
With him money has no limits, so expect to receive many gifts during your nights out with him, or seeing him after he’s been away on business. Whether that be an embroidered lace from fancy stores, or a jade necklace all the way from Liyue, Diluc will show you a world of luxury.
Diluc will always place you beside him at dinner parties or fancy ball. Since he’s been surrounded by vicious women his entire life, it calms him to know you’re right beside him.
there is always a room in the tavern for you, whether you need it or not. The bartenders on duty always know you are allowed to stay after hours, and the drinks always come free of charge.
After a month or two of receiving these perks, you grow tired of seeing so much of Diluc’s purchases, but never enough of the real him. So you seek him out at his winery.
you have no luck finding him however, so you opt for waiting in his office until he eventually shows up. While you wait, you notice a large stack of letters, all of which have your name on it.
Elegant, handwritten love letters. Each and every one of them. Telling you how beautiful you are, and how your smile is always on his mind. In fact, everything about you is edged into his memory, all these gifts you receive having some sort of connection to reminding him of you. The fact that when you wore the dress he bought you last week, it took him days to shake the heat from his body, the longing to touch you.
After an hour or so of reading these letters, your face is completely red. And as soon as you begin to calm down, the red haired gentleman strides thought the door with a fat stack of papers he needs to sign. You jump from your seat, letters falling out of your lap and down to the floor as you do so. He takes one look at the papers surrounding you, and immediately know what they are. Perhaps if he had been brave enough to send these to you, he may of not been this embarrassed.
“As much as I am glad that you finally understand my emotions surrounding you, I would have been more keen to have spoke them to you in person. But that can wait for now. How about you join me for dinner?”
Kaeya:
This lover boy is actually very helpless when it comes to real love. After exposing himself to the elements of your personality, he falls head over heals for you. Possible one of the toughest men to come to term with their feeling to be honest. His flirty and obnoxious behaviour deceiving him in the end.
Kaeya would prefer to see you in the morning. Having coffee before work with you is his personal favourite. It is these genuine outings that he loves most. Unlike the occasional nights of pleasure he has had beforehand. With you, he feels his heart is more precious to you, not his body. As many women would eventually go with a one night stand with the lesser brother of a rich man, than to have conversations with him over a cup of coffee.
On a more positive note, Kaeya will start to recruit you for more and more missions just to enjoy your company. It wont be long till people start to assume you are his personal assistant for the knights. Seeing you accompany him on everyone of his outings. This is where you start to use his office.
The both of you slowly start to share the same working space after a few weeks of being on his team. Memories in his office are some of his fondest when it come to you. staying in and having dinner with him after a long day at work. Sharing stories with him during those mountains of paperwork. Joking with him during work breaks. More importantly, comforting him after heavy battles.
When Kaeya starts to act more like a puppy around you, it is Diluc that teases him bout being a fool in love, and this is what causes Kaeya to finally understand it. Like a break in the ice. All of these months devoting his time to you, never to act on his feelings because on uncertainty. But know he knows he has you, and unlike many of these other women, you wouldn’t be going anywhere.
Kaeya sits impatiently at the local café, tapping his finger on the table as he glows a light shade of pink. Once he’s sees you coming towards his table, his blush sharpens as he stumbles to grab the flowers he bought you beforehand.
aaaand there! Another genshin headcanon, sorry such the long wait. I’ve been pretty busy at work :p comment if you have any suggestions x
#Kaeya#Diluc#Zhongli#Albedo#genshin#genshin impact#genshin heacanons#genshin impact headcanons#genshin fanfic#gaming#headcanon#fanfic#genshin kaeya#genshin albedo#genshin diluc#genshin imagines#genshin zhongli
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