Tumgik
#The simple fact is we need to acknowledge that some individuals are not suited to some things
maaaahri · 5 months
Text
I think the worst thing about the perception of health, both mental and physical, and being disabled in either regard, is that the need for extra support is often viewed, institutionally and therefore culturally, as a dehumanizing element rather than a simple fact of the human experience. No man is an island, and yet, when it comes to needing anything from an IEP to a caretaker, these things are used to subvert one's rights and create the expectation of failure and that's a little ableist innit.
4 notes · View notes
absolutebl · 6 months
Note
Hey Abl, trust you are well. So I took a month off bl to deal with life stuff and upon my return there's a lot of new shows and I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to prioritize. What should I start with that started airing in late October/November? Spanx!
BL Quick Picks - End of 2023 Releases
That finished its run? Sorry I don't keep that close track of things ending but stuff I loved that ended relatively recently as follows. (I'm giving you a range of styles to suit your mood.)
Felling light and fluffy?
Tumblr media
Jun & Jun
(Korea Viki)
A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy (sometimes even raunchy) script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else. 9/10
Feeling complex and drama llama?
Tumblr media
I Feel You Linger in the Air
(Thailand grey, YT for some)
I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. 9/10
Feeling odd and chaotic?
Tumblr media
Why R U?
(Korea iQIYI)
Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, slightly confusing, uneven chemistry, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just … what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate it? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell? 8/10
Feeling dark and complex?
Tumblr media
Tokyo in April is AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa
(Japan Viki)
Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. Based on a manga, this office set reunion romance is GREAT… damn it. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other. Japan gave us the Bed Friends that Thailand could never even imagine. But here’s the thing: I don’t enjoy my BL this heavy and cutting. I know that for The 8th Sense crowd this is peak BL and I can’t argue with the fact that the romantic devotion, domesticity, script, and acting IS all on point. It’s just not my personal preference for that point to be so damn sharp. I appreciate that this being 2023 I have the luxury of consistent quality (especially from Japan) and thus the ability to say… I acknowledge that this SHOULD get a 9/10 but I can’t emotionally go higher than 8/10
Feeling sappy and in need of comfort?
Tumblr media
Stay By My Side
(Taiwan Viki)
This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 
Feeling sexy?
Tumblr media
My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho
(Japan Gaga)
I liked it a lot and it's classic yaoi of the kind that really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat from Japan and well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's good, but watching requires more patience than usual, even from Japan. 8/10
Feeling sweet and earnest?
Tumblr media
Sing My Crush
(Korea iQIYI)
This a cute coming of age drama around music and 2 kinds of self acceptance and actualization journeys. This was basically Korea’s version of About Youth, and was perhaps a bit too soft and ungrounded by comparison, like a marshmallow sculpture. Sweet but somewhat lacking in discernible flavor. 8/10
If you want to know what I'm enjoying that's airing right now, I'm mot yet caught up this week but I have time today so the weekly ranking will drop in a few hours. But I can tell you with confidence that very little is likely to unseat...
My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thailand iQiyi)
from my affections right now. I love it unconditionally and it's airing on iQIYI.
Tumblr media
81 notes · View notes
essentiareleafcbd · 1 year
Text
Essentia Releaf CBD Reviews: Conquer Your Discomfort
Tumblr media
Essentia Releaf CBD promises instant relief from chronic muscle and back pain, severe stress and depression, and helps promote better sleep quality! If an individual suffering from extreme discomfort every day and cannot find the strength to go to on, we are glad that you are correct. Essentia Releaf CBD is on the market, ready and fortunate to cure your pain the minute you use this healing oil! If you don't choose to acknowledge your pain, it could have significant, life-changing consequences on your future. Your body must not be in constant pain, and you should not have to suffer from daily stresses that make living nearly impossible. We are here to let learn that it is time for you to stop running with your pain. It is enough time to conquer your discomfort with Essentia Releaf CBD. Don't allow yourself to your investment true meaning of life style! You will find enjoyment once again after you start taking these healing CBD gummies. Don't allow yourself for you to become numbed by your pain any longer! If you might be suffering from chronic muscle pain or lifelong anxiety and depression, Essentia Releaf CBD are trusted by all to be the #1 pain canceling and mood boosting gummies located on the market this year! One of these gummies can have you feeling like yourself again. You can experience relief beyond your dreams when you try Essentia Releaf CBD.
Essentia Releaf CBD Ingredients
Essentia Releaf CBD Ingredients are 100% natural. Discharge way to deliver healing with regard to permanent and risk-free through using use 100 % natural ingredients. CBD may be the natural occurring chemical on the inside hemp garden. You can trust that you will enjoy many benefits of using this type of CBD oil for pains and mental illness. If you do need with regard to you recover coming from a turmoil of day, you'll need to use this oil to loosen up. If are usually experiencing chronic pain and severe mood disorders, try these CBD gummies. Proven to cure anxiety, stress, depression, and chronic pain, you can't go wrong when you utilize Essentia Releaf CBD looks. You will not have to combat through pain once purchase your bottle of these gummies since they will be proven by customers countrywide to exercise! The ingredients in these gummies are proven to naturally fight inflammation and chronic soreness. You can trust that the ingredients in Essentia Releaf CBD are not full of harmful chemicals that will kill you in the longer term. What makes Essentia Releaf CBD compared to other CBD brands simple fact these gummies don't ignore the benefits of scientific research and the potency of tailored ingredients to suit your specific specs. Some CBD products claim to just have natural ingredients while others contain too many lab-made foods.
1 note · View note
ohnominamino · 3 years
Text
An Essay on Love in Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time
Tumblr media
Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a movie about love in all its forms. From the love of family, friends, and neighbors, to the compassion we feel for people we have never met. The movie reminds us that love is something we continuously gain, lose, and choose, again and again. Which love is greatest? In my opinion, the answer to that question is left up to interpretation. In this essay, I will give my own personal interpretation on certain character interactions and what I believe we are meant to take away from their Rebuild portrayals. 
The character I will start with is one I’ve noticed the most outrage over from people who haven’t seen the movie and read out-of-context spoilers: Kaworu Nagisa. 
Kaworu is a beloved character among many Evangelion fans, especially those who are members of the LGBT+ community. He is a canonical love interest of Shinji Ikari and I want to reassure people that this final movie does not change that fact. However, it does not make the couple blatantly endgame either. This skirting around the couple might make some fans upset, and while their feelings are completely valid, I do not think they fully understand the difficulties faced by LGBT+ people in Japan, nor do they understand the way that romance is typically conveyed in Japanese storytelling. (I recommend watching “Is ‘Yuri On Ice’ Good Gay Representation?” by James Somerton for more about storytelling nuances.) 
What have we been shown about Shinji and Kaworu’s love? The good news is, anything you read into the original TV series and End of Evangelion is completely true for the Rebuilds— because Kaworu is the same Kaworu. This movie proves Evangelion is a single universe set on repeat, and that Kaworu and Shinji meet each other every loop, and in each, Kaworu is trying to make Shinji happy. Within the final movie, Shinji becomes aware of the loops and chooses to break the cycle and free Kaworu from his pain. 
What does the relationship between Shinji and Kaworu teach us? I believe the purpose of their love is to show the audience that first, in the words of Kaji, “love has no gender.” Second, I believe Kaworu’s love in particular is a warning about basing your own happiness solely upon another person. There are parallels drawn between Gendo/Yui and Kaworu/Shinji. Gendo could not exist without Yui, and so he was willing to destroy the world to be reunited with her. For Kaworu, it was not the destruction of humanity, but the destruction of himself that defined his tragedy. What’s important within the final movie, in my opinion, is that Shinji does not reject Kaworu’s love. With the insight he’s gained from remembering past loops, he sees Kaworu’s love and appreciates him, but he also sees his suffering and wants to ease it. He helps Kaworu into a new world where he can seek his own happiness and find balance in his life (something his father did not have). 
While Kaworu and Shinji are not seen as an explicit couple at the end of the movie, it’s significant to note that, when he sets Kaworu free, Shinji holds out his hand to Kaworu as a promise to stay together. Over the course of the movie, Shinji comes to accept his connection to others through accepting touch (in the form of hand holding and hugs from Rei, Misato, and Gendo); however, Kaworu is the only character in the movie who Shinji initiates physical contact with and that speaks to how much Kaworu means to him. This simple gesture, in my opinion, keeps the door open for Kaworu and Shinji to be a couple one day, after Kaworu has found more balance in his life. 
If I were to write an entire essay about Kaworu, it would be titled, “Out of the Coffin: How the Resurrection of Kaworu Nagisa Buries the Tragic Lovers Trope” because this movie truly does just that. 
Another potential love interest for Shinji for many years was Asuka; however, unlike with Kaworu, the nature of this relationship is not left up to interpretation by the end of the movie. Before her big final battle, Asuka tells Shinji, “I think I loved you back then” (regarding their time in middle school) and Shinji, during Instrumentality, tells Asuka, “Thank you for saying you loved me. I loved you too.” It is past tense. 
What does this relationship teach us? It’s a beautiful way of showing that we can love people, and grow and learn, and let go when we no longer fit each other. Letting go is an integral part of life. Whereas other Instrumentality scenes involve touch, Asuka’s, mirroring the ending of End of Evangelion, has a distinct lack of touch. Shinji sits with his arms around his knees and Asuka turns her body away from him. He gives her his thanks and he sends her off to find her peace. Asuka and Shinji teach us that it’s okay to grow out of relationships. You can appreciate what they were to you at the time they happened and move on. 
What about Rei? To be honest with you, this movie is less about Rei’s relationship with Shinji, and more about her relationship with the world. Rei teaches movie viewers about the simple pleasures of living. While Shinji is in mourning for the first quarter of the movie, Rei (as “Sokkuri”) is learning about crop growing and community, the wonder of babies and kittens, the joy of the bath after a long day of fruitful work, and the power of words and picture books. At the end of her life, she only regrets not having more time to spend with the people she loves. In Instrumentality, Shinji accepts her hand when it is offered to him, which I hope signifies he is ready to see life as she had come to during the final movie. 
Rei teaches us that we can love living and to not take our limited time for granted. 
Next, we move on to parent figures: Gendo and Misato. I think they both represent people ill suited to the role, who do the best they can despite it. Gendo, as mentioned for Kaworu above, is a warning about defining yourself by your relationship to another person (Ikari, afterall, is Yui’s name). He is also a lesson in how people mourn and how they can lash out. Misato, like Gendo, felt herself a poor parent, and while mourning the loss of Kaji, she gave up her child to be raised by other people, but, unlike Gendo, went forward to put all her energy into protecting humanity. Both of them reach out to hug Shinji within the movie and he accepts them where they are. 
While I wouldn’t say the movie shows that Shinji forgives Gendo, it does show his making an effort to understand and make peace with what others have done. For Misato, it is fair to say we can still hope for a better future, even when it feels like everything is crumbling around us. Her self-sacrificing love for her son and the whole of humanity is what enables Shinji to then save the people he loves (via the spear of Gaius). 
In the movie, we are also shown friendship. Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke are important members of their community who maintain open communication with those around them and respect others’ boundaries. They are patient and kind and represent the importance of being present. They teach us to meet people where they are and support them how we can, whether it’s giving them a warm meal or giving them space when they need it. 
There are many more characters that could be talked about, but today I am going to end on Mari. Mari’s love is physical. She enjoys being in people’s personal bubbles. She cuddles Asuka and helps trim her hair, she gets into Gendo’s space at college, and at the end of the movie, she reaches out her hand to Shinji to help him stand up from his seat. Upon first glance, some viewers might take Mari and Shinji’s final scene to be romantic, but the reality of it is this: We do not, and cannot, know what kind of love she is meant to represent in his life.
We do not know Mari’s relationship with Shinji because they hardly interact in the movie. She clearly cares about him, but in my opinion, it comes from a place of duty and compassion— Mari was friends with Gendo and Yui. She has been there since he was born. (If we take the manga to be canon, then Mari even had romantic feelings towards his mother. Her hairstyle and glasses are from Yui. At the end of the movie, Mari has changed her hairstyle, which to me implies she has moved on, and “getting” with Shinji would be a thematic break.)
Additionally, their conversation, while flirty, is very much one that implies they haven’t seen each other for a while. Mari is someone who is very physically affectionate. With everyone. If someone ignores that and focuses on the fact she gets into Shinji’s space and claims that’s romantic, they better acknowledge it’s possibly romantic with Asuka, who we see far more intimacy with. When Mari flirts, Shinji flirts back and her initial reaction is surprise, “Wow, you’ve learned to talk back!” Her purpose is clear. She is there to remove the DSS choker from his neck. 
Personally, I love that Mari is the one to close the movie, for the exact reason that we do not know her relationship with Shinji. For Mari to have an assigned role would be to say, “This kind of love is most important,” when the entire movie was spent showing us each love is of equal importance in the balance and building of our lives. (It’s wonderful to see those types of love embodied across the platform from Shinji at the end of the movie: Rei and Kaworu, who, just like in End of Evangelion, could signify the ability to connect with others and be loved.)
If you view Mari as a romantic love interest, then I think it speaks to the value that you as an individual give to romance rather than what the characters themselves are feeling. To me, Mari, the character who was created to “destroy Eva,” is a symbol of all love. When Shinji takes her offered hand and then pulls her to run into the new world, it’s a symbol of balance. The give and take of any kind of relationship. 
We are the product of every relationship we have ever had, from our parents to the people we once loved, from our friendships to any other person we want to stay connected to. Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a story about these relationships. It is a story about love. 
468 notes · View notes
writerofshit · 3 years
Text
(I mentioned briefly a story of how the Stream Team met. This is that story.)
Somewhere in Los Santos, in the late night hours of a Tuesday, a convenience store is robbed. So is one several blocks southeast. And one roughly in the middle of them both. After all, what's more convenient than 24 hour chili dogs on every other street corner?
Cash. Cash is more convenient. So are guns. Hollering, waving one to get the other. Most important, back alleys that twist and turn, snaking away from increasingly distant sirens. Three individuals find themselves running through these alleys, a couple grand each weighing their pockets down.
It's through serendipity and convenience that their paths cross.
The man from the farthest store arrives first. He's done this a few more times than he'd like to admit, so he'd had a plan. Of sorts. Cut through the park, take a few sidewalks like an upstanding citizen, under the bridge and find a fire escape to utilize from there. There aren't any that reach the ground, of course, because he's smart but not quite enough.
And so this is why Trevor is standing in an dark alley, contemplating whether or not the dumpster will give him enough height to reach the ladder, when the man from the middle store appears. He's around Trevor's height, but would probably win in a fight between them, if he were so inclined. He doesn't seem to be, though. He seems shaken, like he's not quite sure how he ended up in this alley. He's holding a gun almost gingerly, as if it might bite him.
Trevor pulls his own gun.
'dont you fuckin' try anything!'
This does not go over well with Matt. He takes a step back, and then seems to remember that he also has a gun so maybe this is even footing. He holds it aloft, finger nowhere near the trigger.
'same, asshole!'
At this moment the robber from the first store arrives, also, of course, with a gun. And a mask. And an entire purple and orange neon fucking suit, actually, topped with a white cowboy hat. It gives them a few extra inches of height they are distinctly lacking, comparatively. Somewhere in the back of his head, Trevor acknowledges that this newcomer could probably kick his and the other gunman's asses. It is not a pleasant thought.
'oh, what the fuck!?'
Jeremy sounds more annoyed and less scared than one would think, considering they've run into an alley only to find two men with guns. Two men who quickly turn those guns on them.
'who the fuck are you?'
The question surprises them all, including Matt, even though he's the one who asked. As it turns out, people have a tendency to say the first thing that comes to mind when in a stressful situation. Such as, having robbed a convenience store for the very first time and immediately finding himself face to face with other apparent robbers. It would get to anyone, probably.
'i don't want any trouble, but i've already robbed someone tonight and i don't give a shit about felony murder!'
Two lies and a truth, is what Trevor has chosen to play, for some reason. In reality, one does not rob a convenience store at gun point if one is intent on staying out of trouble. And he does, in fact, care very deeply about felony murder. Felony murder is the precise reason he'd shot a bag of Doritos and not a clerk. In his defense, the clerk had initially rolled her eyes at him, asked what exactly he thought he'd get out of this. He'd found this question rude.
The truth, of course, is that he did rob a convenience store. That did happen. No take backs.
'so did i!'
Matt and Jeremy speak so in unison it's almost scary. If they didn't know any better, they'd think the two of them had always known each other.
Trevor's gun wavers between them, unsure which is the bigger threat. The guy who clearly has zero experience with guns, or the weirdo who seems to have far too much? It's a toss up, really. So his aim pinballs back and forth, but his finger does not curl around the trigger. He's serious about that felony murder thing.
The air seems to shift, suddenly, and the sound of sirens is now growing closer. This evidently also annoys Jeremy, and they throw a glance over their shoulder to the direction they'd come from. Red and blue lights flicker past.
'shit. ok. we're all robbers, i guess, and we're all fucked if we keep standing here. who's got a plan?'
Jeremy's eyes are staring impatiently at Trevor. Eyes being the only part of their face Trevor can see. And their hands, a plastic bag in one and a gun in the other.
Trigger finger is an apt name.
He glances at Matt, still wild eyed and glancing back and forth. No, Matt probably does not have a plan. He sort of gives the impression that he's never had a plan ever, actually. That perhaps he'd simply woken up here and decided to wing it. So Trevor makes an offer.
'fire escape?'
There's another moment of tense silence. Well, minus the sirens. And oh, helicopters. Even better. Jeremy shrugs.
'good a plan as any.'
And then they're off, brushing past Trevor and hoisting themself up onto the dumpster. He knew it could work. Trevor blinks and Jeremy has caught the ladder, is quickly working their way up. Shit, how does five foot something manage to get that high on a good day, much less in this situation and with a bag and gun in hand?
Matt's gun clatters to the ground, and honestly, that's probably for the best. He's climbing onto the dumpster now, and he mutters something about not signing up for this shit. Trevor reminds him that he apparently robbed someone, so yeah, he kind of did.
Before Trevor climbs up, he shoves his gun into his jacket pocket. Smart? Probably not. Convenient? More so than climbing with a gun in his hand. He follows Matt up the ladder, wondering what happened to his plan. Yeah, the ladder had been involved. Two other people, however, were not.
Above them, glass shatters.
'warning, maybe!?'
'oops. careful, there's glass.'
Jeremy's voice is no longer directly above them. Instead, it comes from one story up and a little to the left. So they've broken into an apartment. Sure, add breaking and entering to the list of charges, that sounds great. But Matt and Trevor follow, because there's not really another option.
Inside the apartment, Jeremy's mask is gone. The suit is quickly disappearing as well, revealing a rather boring outfit of a white tank top and...sweatpants? The true mystery lies in where the cowboy hat has gone to, because that's a hard item to miss.
'do we really have time for this? don't you think someone might, oh, i don't know, wake up and call the cops?'
Trevor doesn't mean to hiss, it's just that he's sure there's more pressing matters to attend to than an outfit change. Continuing to flee, perhaps.
'nobody's gonna wake up.'
They don't even have the wherewithal to lower their voice. It registers to Trevor that Jeremy's bag and gun are missing as well. Had they dropped them on the way up? It was certainly possible. Trevor thinks he would have noticed a gun flying past his head, but there's a lot going on.
'can we maybe not kill anyone? he brought up a good point with that felony murder thing.'
It's the most words Matt has strung together since he'd shown up. It's damn near a whisper, but at least it's progress.
'i'm not- god, can you two shut up? i gotta make a phone call.'
Jeremy yanks the door open, hand carefully wrapped in the fabric of their shirt. For a moment, Trevor thinks they're leaving and steps forward to follow Jeremy. Instead, Jeremy turns and heads toward the kitchen, pulling open a drawer and digging inside it briefly. They come back with a cell phone.
Something dawns on Trevor.
'is this- do you live here? did you break your own window?'
Jeremy doesn't answer. They put the phone to their ear.
'you're gonna wanna hide whatever you've got. and try not to look like you just climbed in through a window.'
And then-
'hello? yes, hi, i'd like to report a break in, i think? i was hearing a bunch of sirens and then i don't know what happened but some guy just broke my window? he ran through and i just- my friends and i are really scared and we didn't know what to do- yes, we're ok, he's gone, but we- you'll send someone? ok, thank you. the address? oh, uh, it's the del perro heights building, apartment 7. should i shut the door? no, don't touch anything. ok- guys, don't touch anything, she said someone's on their way to check on us! thank you so much- no, i think we'll be fine. thank you.'
It's a marvelous performance. Jeremy genuinely sounds like some poor flustered victim of a crime. Trevor would applaud if he thought Jeremy would appreciate it. Almost immediately, their voice is back to normal.
'check things out my ass. they're gonna show up, ask which way he went and never call me again. feel real fuckin safe.'
Jeremy settles themself onto the couch, choosing the spot closest to the door. Matt, who has apparently gotten over his initial terror, wanders into the kitchen. Searching for something to distract himself, if Trevor had to guess. Trevor is still standing in the middle of the living room, dumbfounded. How did a simple robbery become hanging out with other robbers, waiting for cops to show up?
'i'm jeremy, by the way. they won't ask, but y'know. just in case.'
They're flipping channels on the tv, seeming to arbitrarily skip almost a dozen programs. Finally, they settle on one and stand. Trevor recognizes it as an old Disney movie, and desperately wants to ask why the fuck Jeremy has put this on.
'uh, hi. i'm trevor. why are we watching Mulan?'
'matt. oh hell yeah, i love this movie!'
He sounds remarkably cheerful, considering the circumstances. How Trevor had seemingly switched places with Anxious McGee is beyond him. He needs to get it together. He pulls his gun from his pocket and takes it to the kitchen, sticking it in the drawer Jeremy had taken the phone from. There are several other phones of varying price point. He steps back to the living room just in time.
'that's why.'
They don't elaborate. Apparently Trevor is meant to just figure this out on his own, which ordinarily he might be able to do. After the course of events of this particular evening? Not a chance.
But he can't ask, because now there's a cop in the doorway and he's staring at Trevor and that will never be a good thing. Trevor stares back. He has no clue what he's meant to say. Hello? Welcome? He went that way?
'oh thank god! we've been so terrified, we didn't know if he'd come back or what he'd do.'
Naturally, Jeremy has taken lead on this. They're a phenomenal actor, Trevor has to admit.
'did you see which direction he went?'
'toward the stairs, i think. we've all been rooted to the spot, you know, it's so scary-'
Matt freezes in the doorway of the kitchen. He's just out of the view from the front door.
'right, well. you boys did the right thing by calling. can you give me a description of the man?'
The corner of Jeremy's mouth quirks.
'gosh, it all just happened so fast. taller than me, probably, but shorter than you, wouldn't you say, trey?'
Trevor nods, because he's not quite sure what else to do.
'alright, thank you. someone will be in touch with you for an official statement. in the meantime, if you remember anything else don't hesitate to call.'
He's holding a card out to Trevor, of all people. He takes it carefully, like if he does it wrong somehow the guy will know and arrest them all. The card is simply the number for a tip line.
As suddenly as he'd arrived, the cop is gone and they're all breathing sighs of relief. Jeremy closes the door.
'you guys can stay for Mulan, if you want.'
So they do.
Trevor asks about why Mulan again, and Jeremy explains that they assume most people have seen it, could answer any questions about it if they came up. Perhaps, if LSPD officers were less incompetent, they would have. Although if that were the case, they wouldn't be LSPD officers at all.
Matt asks about the window, and Jeremy says yes, they did break their own window. Of course they'd had an actual plan when they'd entered the alley. They were always going to end up exactly here, give or take the extras. Asking for a plan was simply a test, determining the merit in bring them along. They'd passed.
Jeremy asks if they want to stay for Mulan II, which is apparently up next. They do.
Somewhere in Los Santos, in the early morning hours of a Wednesday, three convenience stores are recovering from three separate robberies. Right in the middle of them all, their respective robbers are sitting on a couch together, watching a straight to video children's film.
It is the beginning of something far greater than any of them can imagine.
79 notes · View notes
russadler · 3 years
Text
Work Hard, Play Harder - Prologue
Tumblr media
Russell Adler x Female OC
The mission sounds simple enough, but the devil was definitely in the details.
A/N: This is something completely new and separate from ‘A Little Death’ and NOT a Russell Adler x Bell. After coming to terms with the issues with that pairing, it was difficult to continue that fic even though I loved it as much as I did. It was devastating to do so, but I’m hoping to create something completely new and fun. I guess this is sort of similar to ‘A Little Death’ in a way but completely different at the same time. This is just the prologue, setting the scene for the fic, but let me know what you guys think <3
June 7, 1982
Langley, Virginia
She’s not entirely sure what she expected, but it wasn’t this. 
Her day starts out simple enough. Write memos, respond to emails, read and scribble in the growing stack of files on her desk. Then her department lead tells her Jason Hudson needs to see her and from then on things get very interesting, very fast. 
The brunette makes her way to the briefing room with haste, lithe legs carrying her at the fastest pace considered appropriate in Langley’s corridors. Everyone knew Jason Hudson to be a notorious hardass, but he was a decorated one. A long list of achievements had ensured he sat at the echelon of the clandestine operations unit. 
Now he wanted her. Getting called on by Mr. Shades himself was the lifelong dream of the many that worked at Langley, but now that it’s happening the woman can’t deny the sense of apprehension at the prospect. She had worked minor roles under the direction of other handlers in a few of the smaller ops he’s overseen over the years, but felt she had done nothing then to warrant his attention whatsoever. 
There’s little time to ponder, and before long the briefing room door she’d been directed to enters her field of vision. Shoulders squared and breathing deeply through her nose, knuckles meet the worn wood in delicate but firm raps. A deep voice beckons her forth, and she enters. 
Hudson stands at the far end of the table, one hand in his pocket and the other sifting through a stack of papers currently occupying the surface in front of him. 
“Agent Fletcher.” He greets flatly, not even sparing her a glance as he focuses his gaze on the aforementioned sheets of paper.
“Sir.” She returns, thankful that she’s managed to keep the nervous tremble from her voice and replace it with something pleasant and airy instead. Taking a seat, her delicate hands flatten her pressed slacks as she moves. Her selected chair is close, but maintains a respectable enough distance from her superior.  
“Are you familiar with the name Anthony Lipovetsky, agent?” Hudson cuts to the chase, starting as soon as she’s settled. His cold stare shifts to acknowledge her presence, and a chill comes over her as she stares into those signature reflective shades.
They both knew the answer to his question. Aria Fletcher worked mainly in the drug and contraband trafficking sector of the CIA. 
Of course she knew who he was. 
Anthony Lipovetsky had steadily become a pain in the DEA’s ass recently, according to what she had been hearing. Though he wasn’t anyone particularly prolific that warranted the CIA’s attention like some others had. Out of the many individuals Hudson could have pulled her here to ask about, the Russian - American was the least expected.
“Drug trafficker making some big moves along the east coast, but he’s not the biggest fish in the pond.” Aria answers, sounding matter of fact as she stares back at the other. It’s more of a question of a statement. Why him? 
“You’re right. He isn’t, but it’s recently come to our attention that he’s been dabbling into arms smuggling.” Hudson counters, but it still isn’t the answer she’s looking for. 
“Unsurprising. He’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last.” The younger states, but there’s more to this and she knows it. She takes a gamble and makes an educated guess. “Would I be correct in guessing we’re here right now because of his choice in clientele?” 
The female agent can only hope Hudson doesn’t think she’s trying to be a smartass, but all she can do is speculate. It’s the only reasonable assumption that comes to mind seeing as the The CIA doesn’t like it very much when people sell guns to the bad guys, and they especially don’t like it if they’re the type of bad guys who like terrorism. 
“Precisely.” Hudson answers, and the agent has to fight the urge to smile. Right on the ball.
“We have solid intel that he’s been in contact with a soviet agent named Perseus.” The elder continues even seriously, voice grim as he makes the acknowledgment.
Oh. Oh. 
The name Perseus wasn’t one she was familiar with, but the words Soviet Agent had stood out. This was bigger than the domestic drug trade, this was the Soviet Union making way into their backyard. 
This is bad. Very, very bad. 
“So, what’s the plan?” The young woman queries, a touch hesitant at what role she has to play in something that now seems entirely out of her league. 
Hudson’s mouth parts, but a knock at the door interrupts. Her head snaps towards the door as Hudson grants entrance, and in walks Russell Adler. 
Langley legend, ‘America’s Monster’ The man’s in a different league even when compared to a heavyweight like Hudson. He’s pretty much a myth. She’s heard the stories about him, both personal and professional. His portfolio of work is way above her pay grade, and his presence immediately makes the entire thing immensely more interesting. 
She rode an elevator with him once, almost a year back. The encounter was barely a minute long, but she never forgot how devastatingly attractive the man was, with looks that easily could have landed him in Hollywood. Not to mention the way the man carried himself, assertive and with an undeniable dominance. 
Adler doesn’t introduce himself, and doesn’t even spare her a glance nor a word as he takes the seat adjacent to Hudson. His shaded eyes are focused straight ahead as he pulls a cigarette from the pack he seemingly carried in, perching the stick between his lips and igniting it with a zippo lighter that had appeared from God knows where. 
Aria hadn’t realized she had been staring until Hudson tosses something at her from his place at the table, the sound jolting her back to attention. A manila folder glides quietly across the stained wood to land neatly in front of her, only two words on the front.
Operation Ocelot. 
“Let’s get started.” Hudson announces. She opens the file, and things begin to unravel. 
——————————————————————
As it turns out, Operation Ocelot consists of a covert insertion of two agents into Anthony Lipovetsky’s Miami home. That part sounds simple enough, but the devil is definitely in the details.
For the time being, it was prudent Lipovetsky’s connection to Perseus remained intact. They needed a paper trail to follow, and one they could follow without arousing Lipovetsky’s suspicion. There was no real point in spying on someone if they knew they were being spied on.
“The target is well guarded, the man has a price on his head and he’s well aware. Armed security teams around the clock, cameras around the house, the whole package.” Hudson states, slides on the projector screen behind him changing to show a floorplan of the house. 
“Is this where I come in?” Aria questions, it’s easy to assume that’s the only reason why she’s here. 
It seems they’ve selected her to be the honeypot, an unfortunate consequence of being at the very least a mildly attractive woman in the CIA. Sexuality had proven to be man’s greatest weakness time and time again, and it become just a part of the job. She knew if it was something she didn’t want to do, she could easily say no. But then again, she had killed many people in her time as an agent, and one had quickly learned how to detach emotions from entire aspects of life as necessary. 
It’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment, but she swears she sees Hudson and Adler share a look before the former answers her. “It’s where you and Adler come in.” 
Adler in the meanwhile, hasn’t spoken throughout the entire thing. He hadn’t even looked at her yet, his sightline having been maintained firmly on the projector screen ahead as Hudson led the briefing. The end of his cigarette had burned red in the darkness as he took steady pulls from it throughout, the only sign of life in an otherwise detached and glacial man. 
And now, Russell Adler is looking at her. Dark aviators like twin blackholes that threaten to swallow her whole. 
At this point the young agent is visibly confused, as demonstrated by Hudson moving to clarify the statement. “Through our surveillance program we’ve been able to observe the targets' routines and behaviours, and it has been noted that Lipovetsky has a particular…habit.” 
“He wants a threesome?” Aria blurts, now fiddling with the gold chain on her neck. 
This whole thing just got really fucking weird. 
Hudson’s mouth parts, likely looking for a way to word the whole thing professionally, but to her utter surprise Adler is the one who decides to cut to the chase. 
“He likes taking home married couples.” He states bluntly, nonchalant as he focuses on crushing the charred stub of his cigarette in the ashtray in front of him. 
It’s the first time she’s ever heard Adler speak, his voice low and warm. Though it’s not the sort of warmth one would typically associate with kindness, but rather it brings to mind the heat of a fire and danger. There’s a roughness there too, likely from his smoking, but oh how well does it suit him.
“Oh. Well, that’s…interesting.” Aria huffs with a laugh, feeling honestly a bit relieved. There were definitely weirder things in the world that people were into that she feared. Instead, her body tingles with interest. Married couple. 
“Why me then? This isn’t necessarily my normal line of work.” The woman questions. They could have chosen anyone, but they had chosen her. Hundreds of beautiful women worked here everyday but they somehow settled on her? 
“You both make an…attractive pair. You fit the bill in terms of the target’s preferences, as well the vacation demographic in the city.” Hudson says, arms crossed at his chest. “Apart from that, you’ve so far had an impressive field career, your performance is consistent and high quality.” 
The female agent can’t help the pride that burns in her chest at the praise from such a distinguished and highly respected man like Jason Hudson. Everything suddenly felt like a dream. 
“There’s a lot to lose here, we need more than a pretty face. You’ve got what we need.” Hudson emphasizes, the importance of this mission heavily ingrained to the back of her mind. 
“So…I’m going to play Adler’s pretty little trophy wife and then we’re going to collectively seduce our way into his house?” Aria wonders aloud, Adler and Hudson not moving to interrupt and permitting her speculation to continue. “And then what? Are we expected to fuck the information out of him?” 
Hudson sighs, pinching at his brow in exasperation. Adler jumps in once more, saving Hudson from further embarrassment. “We’re gonna slip him a sedative before things get to that. Special cocktail that’ll make him think he just drank a little too much.”
“Oh, thank god.” The youngest utters under her breath, relieved. Things were definitely easier that way.
“Once he’s out, we’ll mess with the camera system, do recon, collect intel, then get the fuck out.” Adler finishes, intense stare levelled right at her once more. She couldn’t help but squirm, he was almost too much to handle just by existing.
And God, she could listen to that voice all day. She was going to listen to it all day in a short matter of time.
She really loved her job sometimes.
“Sounds simple enough.” Aria resigns, casual as she accepted that her life was just really going to be this outlandish for the next little while. 
“You and Adler will set out the day before and go through the motions and leave a paper trail of your own. The target might try and track you both down just to check his bases.” Hudson adds, arms crossed as he switches his gaze back and forth between her and Adler. 
“If we leave evidence that we’re just a normal couple doing normal things, it’ll reassure the target there wasn’t any outside involvement and we weren’t up to no good.” Aria finishes, one arm perched on the armrest of her chair and the other fiddling with her pen as she returns Hudson’s gaze. 
“Precisely.” Hudson agrees, voice carrying the smallest hint of sympathy. 
It’s almost like he feels bad for her. 
Hudson dismisses them soon after, handing them directives on the particulars of their individual roles and aliases. Adler storms ahead of her to the exit, moving out without so much as acknowledging her once again.
He was an asshole, but a ridiculously good looking one. She would learn to play his game soon enough, and oh, she would press his buttons.
Hudson is quick to catch her disgruntled reaction at Adler’s behaviour. “Adler’s not the most personable, but he’s a damn good agent. He’ll have your back.” The elder reassures, perhaps seeking to soothe the burn of the other’s abrasive nature. 
The woman sighs, turning to flash Hudson a tight lipped smile. “I’ll figure him out, I’m not worried.”
She finishes packing away her items and gets ready to leave, eager to get started on the work ahead. Hudson calls her again as she reaches the door, making her pause in her tracks.
“Remember agent, don’t let me down.” 
Nodding with silent determination, she leaves.
57 notes · View notes
mfkinanaa · 3 years
Text
CANCER RISING.
Born with Cancer on your Ascendant (or Rising), self-realization comes through a sophisticated attunement to your highly developed feeling nature.
You make sense of life through instinct and emotion.
You are likely to experience strong intuitions, and at times psychic sensibilities, and will therefore need to learn the difference between insight and projection.
Because you are so sensitive, you must recognize the impact that this can have on you.
You will need to acknowledge your sensitivity, accept your desire to nurture and support others, and acknowledge when this sensitivity leads you to take on too much, or become overly responsible for how others feel.
Learning to use your intuition to guide your choices is an important skill.
Self-awareness will grow as you develop emotional intelligence.
Your Home is Your Castle.
You may be very adaptable to change in your external circumstances, but need a peaceful and secure home base for your foundation. Home is very important, providing a sanctuary from the outside world. You may have a tendency to switch off and retreat here from time to time, especially when hurt, depressed, uncertain or confused.
You are likely to need clean, comfortable surroundings, and will prefer the company of refined people who can appreciate your unique qualities. Often close to family and friends, you are probably domesticated, with good cooking skills, as well as very capable on the work front.
However, a love of travel means that it is important to have the means to be able to get up and go. You may enjoy frequent changes of environment, allowing you to soak up the most of what life has to offer by soaking up the atmospheres of unfamiliar places.
Business Smarts.
Cancer rising gives business acumen, and you could do well as an entrepreneur owing to your heightened sense of how to cater to public tastes. You bring a practical, cautious yet determined approach to your own affairs which translates to good business practice. There is often great tenacity here, and you are likely to accomplish what you set out to do, despite constant flux and changes.
With persistence as well as careful strategic planning, you can easily profit by providing what others need.
In your professional or personal life there may be a tendency to avoid direct confrontation. You may approach problems sideways, in an attempt to negotiate emotional boundaries. You may at times be inclined toward stinginess, owing to an overly cautious attitude to money, which comes down to fear about having the ability to control external circumstances. You should learn to trust your feelings enough to know when it is time to conserve what you have and when it is time to spend.
Heightened Sensitivity.
As Cancer is a Cardinal sign, you need to direct your sensitivities, but this must be done in a way that is not overwhelming. Learning how to offer support when required is important, but you need to understand you are not responsible for others’ emotional wellbeing. The ability to nurture comes easily to you. Opportunities to care for others leads to growth and self-awareness.
Yet knowing when to draw the line is paramount. You must learn what is and IS NOT yours to be responsible for.If not achieved, then your life may feature constant episodes of drama and emotional intensity.
In this case, you can attract weak, needy, helpless or manipulative people – people in extremes of emotional crisis – in order to learn valuable life lessons. You can find yourself in relationships where one partner plays the role of adult and the other becomes the child. You might find yourself wondering why all of your friends seem to have problems? At the end of the day, this may have something to do with your need to feel needed, or inability to say no?
Healthy relationships need to be formed without guilt or co-dependency. Lessons in partnership usually involve learning to control and discipline your responses, so that they are appropriate to the situation at hand. You must also learn to trust what your instincts are telling you.
Family Life.
Family is likely to be very important to you. You will happily take on the role of responsible care-giver in any situation and will thrive on knowing you have a happy and productive family life. Whether you choose to focus your attention on family of origin or family of choice, a stronger sense of self will come through maintaining close family ties. 
When young, you may be deeply invested in the emotional state of your mother. This can be detrimental if bonds of responsibility are not transformed at a later stage. Letting go so as to develop independence and strength is crucial. You may have been dutiful as a child, shy and overly aware of the emotional undercurrents within your home.
It is easy for you to unconsciously take on your parents’ expectations, as you want to be obedient and conform to the family structure. Yet at the end of the day you must tread your own path. As you get older the action-oriented qualities of this sign should push you out into the world, to find your own identity on your own terms.
The Gift of Cancer Rising.
For greatest success, you need to understand how the ebb and flow of your own inner cycles, letting intuition guide you. Your sense of rhythm and timing will lead you to where you need to go. The accuracy of your often precise instincts is a great asset, and your intuitive hunches will almost always be spot on.
Trust your feelings and learn to decipher between what is real information and what is just an emotional response. In time you will learn that intuition is a higher form of knowledge and your feelings are in fact your sharpest tool.
LEO RISING.
Born with Leo on your Ascendant (or Rising) you are likely to find that a sense of authority and the opportunity for creative self-expression is necessary if your are to maintain your selfhood. 
Accordingly, you will have your own unique or special way of doing this.
Your talents need to be developed so that they can grow.
In many ways, when Leo rises your task in life is to shine!
There is a strong need to be “somebody” – to feel important and respected somehow.
You will either grow in greater confidence and warmth of expression as you share your generous spirit with others, or develop a tendency toward affectation and extravagance which belies an underlying insecurity.
Much depends on the choices that you make.
Healthy Attention.
If Leo is your Ascendant you are likely to need attention and approval from others, so you are better off to admit that from the outset. The need to stand out in your own right is paramount. You have extraordinary reserves of creativity and love that need an outlet. Following your heart and exploring your passions will help you bring these gifts to the fore.
Once you feel you are getting the recognition you deserve then you can become a great source of fun, inspiration and leadership. Doing what you love brings your best qualities to the fore.
Larger than Life.
Just like the sun itself, you are likely to be fixed in focus -appearing constant and reliable, with a cheerful disposition that uplifts others. Life is to be enjoyed, and you may feel the need to live in a grand manner, befitting your “special” status. Or you may be happy with simple surroundings, but will make the effort to ensure there is plenty of time for pleasure, romance or fun.
In some ways you are likely to have a larger-than-life attitude. You are all about grand gestures, big dreams and stunning vistas. You are also likely to be a capable and demanding authority figure, well suited to leadership and managerial positions. Others respond well to your kindness, sense of fun, faith and optimism. As a rule, you tend to be proud, are sometimes insecure despite your capabilities, and hate above all else to be criticized.
As Leo is the sign of royalty, there may be a tendency to at times expect “the royal treatment” – indulgences befitting a personage of such elevated “status”. If not received, your temper tends to flare.
Overblown displays of outrage brought on by wounded pride can mask deep insecurities. The fear of ‘not being recognized’ easily becomes sullenness if you don’t feel that you are receiving your due.
A Born Leader.
The need for comfort and luxury is likely to lead you to work very hard for success. Your love of recognition makes achievement even more important for you. This is fine as long as you don’t work too hard, neglecting the family and friends who are after all your main audience and support crew. Give them their due attention and they will be there for you on the occasional day that you are down.
You are naturally here to lead in some way, but need to learn that leadership involves sharing command. Finding out what makes others special and unique helps you incorporate them into your plans. You must learn to temper your urge to fulfill your own potential by learning to appreciate and accept the contribution that every body makes to the whole, of which we are all a part.
Beware you don’t treat others with disdain or disrespect. You are so inclined to do things your own way, you may look down your nose, so to speak, at others who do not do things as you would. People will follow you gladly if you treat them with respect.
Scorn them, and they may leave you all alone, which is precisely the situation you fear. You need an audience or form of feedback to know you are performing at your best.
Turn Talents into Strengths.
When young you may have trouble adjusting your expectations to the actual circumstances of your life, but over time you will learn how to find the magic in the every day and the best in the people around you. Recognize where your talents lie and turn them into strengths. This means spending the time required to be your best and make the most of your unique gifts.
A positive statement for Leo rising is to affirm “I have the right to express my unique, individual creativity and spirit, and can do that without denying others the right to express theirs.”
The Gift Of Leo Rising.
It is important that you feel comfortable enough to show others who you really are, without demanding validation. Then you can shine from the uniqueness of your own creative spirit, bringing joy light and laughter to every situation in which you a part. You bring organizational and leadership qualities to any endeavour, with a natural flair for drama, creativity and fun.
VIRGO RISING.
Born with with Virgo on your Ascendant (or Rising), you are likely to view the world through the lens of mental analysis, with a view toward organization.
You have strong critical faculties and need to find practical outlets for your skills, talents and abilities.
Typically humble and at times self-effacing, you are likely be more concerned with being useful than being recognized.
You need to be productive – to be of service somehow – and your chosen career will typically give you the opportunity to experience best employ your skills.
You are likely to be practical, capable and dexterous.
You may be very good with facts, figures and details.
You may also be quite hard on yourself because of early childhood experiences, and need to learn to recognize and appreciate your talents.
The Urge For Service.
When your Ascendant is Virgo, you are usually willing to assist and be of service to others. Unless other chart factors dominate, you are likely to be hardworking, conscientious and studious. You like to know your place in the wider scheme, and feel most comfortable with a plan in place.
Cleanliness and order are often very important, as is the need to be systematic. You are likely to be good at solving problems, and will do well in any situation that requires you to work through an issue or challenge in a linear, demonstrable way.
A Tendency Toward Criticism.
Despite your abilities, you are likely to be tough on yourself, with a tendency to worry. If you do not perform tasks to an imagined standard of perfection you can be very self-critical. Your tendency to worry may undermine your nervous system, and the uncertainty of too much change can take a heavy toll.
On the way to realising your potential you may need to overcome a crippling lack of self-confidence. Virgo rising is often associated with a tendency to self-censor and self-criticize that can be debilitating. You may inwardly question and criticize every move that you make, leading to extreme levels of anxiety, and even chronic illness, if the impact on your nervous system becomes too much.
A Sensitive Constitution.
You may a have delicate constitution, and need to take extra care of your physical body. Your health, and especially digestion, is easily affected by negative thoughts and emotions. When anxious you will second-guess yourself. You may find yourself easily overwhelmed so that stress gets confused with logical analysis.
This confusion amplifies your tendency to self-doubt, and you should perhaps get feedback from others when you are spiralling down a mental sinkhole. Learning to praise, rather than criticize, your own talents is a great step forward. Developing a sense of purpose through being of assistance can work wonders.
Instead of trying to be perfect, perhaps you should aim instead to simply be better?
You may be very particular about food, which reflects your delicate nervous system. Learn to listen to your body and take care of your health, but watch out for tendencies to worry about your wellbeing as a substitute for something better to do!
Taking care of your self is a smart choice, and you will benefit greatly by incorporating a healthy diet, workable routines and natural therapies that can assist wellness. Regular practices such as yoga and meditation that work to synthesise mind/body focus are especially useful for you.
Discernment and Discrimination.
Whilst you enjoy doing things for others, you may have a need to try and control outcomes. This will be based on an innate fear of chaos or potential lack of order. You should make an effort to relax and welcome the input of other people. Look for people and experiences that can teach you how to flow, trusting in the natural rhythms of life without trying to preempt every outcome.
Virgo is associated with the assimilation of experience. This occurs through trial and analysis, through discernment and discrimination. Use the processes of metabolism and digestion as metaphors for your own approach to life, and in this way can learn to see any imbalances within your own body as perhaps symptomatic of an imbalance in how you are assimilating your experiences. Once you connect your fine sense of discrimination with your practical sensibility you can be of service to yourself and others in an unlimited numbers of ways.
The Gift of Virgo Rising.
At your best, you can be supportive, nurturing and stable helping others achieve practical outcomes. In this way, your sense of discernment, practicality and willingness to serve rises to the fore, adding purpose and fulfilment to your life. You do best with partners and friends who uplift you, helping you see the bigger picture behind immediate appearances.
207 notes · View notes
aceofspadegrass · 3 years
Text
Crack involving Couch Stealing
Characters: Aguni Morizono, Hatter, Chishiya Shuntaro, Last Boss, Niragi Suguru, Mira Kano, Ann Rizuna, Kuzuryuu (Brief Mention really-), Kuina Hikari (Also a brief mention), @brainwashedkittenstuff, @a-simp-20, and yours truly
Genre: This is literally crack. We stole stuff like gremlins.
3k words
I don't even know if I got us accurate you guys, this is literal crack- I tried my best okay? I hope you like it-
Tumblr media
It all started with Hatter calling an emergency executive meeting.
Nobody of that caliber was exactly expecting it when Hatter made the sudden announcement, especially since it seemed too important to pass up. Whatever it was had to have been so crucial that it couldn’t have been done in private. Maybe there were new members that they had to attend for? Perhaps Hatter finally figured out where the heck the face cards could possibly be.
Maybe he got a new kimono and just wanted to show off to the group.
But still, they all show up to the meeting, and Hatter was impatiently pacing back and forth at the front. He seemed pensive, and that caught everyone’s attention, several pair of eyes watching the man clad in red. Finally, Hatter stops, slowly coming to the position as he turns towards everyone, scanning each and every face behind his sunglasses. “ We have a problem.” Hatter states, lowly and filled with suspicion and irritation. A few of them look at him curiously from their seats, Last Boss leaning a little closer as he rested his arms on the sword bag from where he stood.
“ What is it?” Ann asks him, and Hatter glances at her, the air tense as everyone waited for his answer. It had to have been something serious if Hatter looked this mad, but not where he would usually send Aguni and his little pack of gremlins to handle it without having to rally the group like this.
“…… Someone stole some of my kimonos and my good hats.” He scowls, tilting his head down where a shadow fell upon his face. “ Not only that, but they also took my couch. My fucking couch.”
Everyone was silent for a few seconds, trying to process this. Niragi was the first to react, scowling and groaning loudly, his eyes rolling in his head like an angry wave. “ Oh my fucking goodness, you called us here for a missing couch?”
“ And kimono and hat!” Hatter retorts, his hands slamming against the table and making it shake. Niragi scoffs, his lip curling. “ So? It’s just a bunch of shit, why do you care?” “ See, this is why you’re my least favourite.” Hatter looks directly at the barbeque lizard, who looks at him angrily, sitting up.
“ You take that back you egotistical lawn flamingo-“ “ Okay, settle down. Hatter, may I ask why you’re so riled up over this that you had to call us all here?” Ann looks at Niragi for a second with narrowed eyes before turning her attention back to Hatter, Niragi huffing and slumping back into his chair with a face of annoyance, fingers curling and uncurling against the fabric of his shirt.
“ Well obviously, I need someone to be on the lookout and catch these criminals!” “ Oh, so you don’t know who did it then.” Chishiya croons, tilting his head slightly to the right. “ And so you expect us to figure out who, in this vast space full of people, took some of your supposed ‘precious’ items?” “ Yes! You got it!” Hatter grins, and Chishiya just looks at Hatter with that face, eyes half-lidded and slightly smiling in that way that nobody could tell what he was thinking at the moment. He doesn’t look away for a while, just staring straight at the madman they called their leader.
Niragi grumbles under his breath, but finally tilts his head back to Hatter. “ If we find these assholes, can I kill them?” Hatter just smiles, taking a step back and slowly unfurling his arms wide, his grin becoming wider. “ Well, you know what the rules are: Death to the traitors.” —————————————————————————————————
The Beach was huge, but there was no way that they could possibly miss someone carrying a whole ass couch, right? Wrong. Apparently it was hard as dicks.
The group of both factions asked and looked around for the identity of these people, but nobody has seen a thing, especially anyone carrying a whole couch around the Beach. Neither has anyone seen anyone with any kimonos or hats. A few offered the idea that maybe they hid it away, since they were just clothing articles and perhaps they were ready to take it away somewhere else or reasons unknown.
They even went through every single room in search of anything suspicious. Aguni had gotten the entire militant sect in search of these items, even if most of them had no real clue why these items were this important.
There was nothing. Every room was practically the same, with a few differences here and there that held a hint of individuality, but by the end they were all left in the same state of ransack. They couldn’t be neat about this, especially since clothes could be very easily hidden. A couch, less so, but an initial glance would always prove whether or not the couch was anywhere in sight.
Chishiya had resorted himself to just watching from a high spot, hidden from everyone as he stares below into the lobby. at a bird’s eye view. He had already sent Kuina away to ask people about what they might have seen, and now he just needed to wait if she came back with anything worth of note.
Ann was currently doing the same, in fact, seeing if she could piece anything together that could detect a potential suspect. So far, there was nothing of note. Not a single bit of clue of anyone with hats, kimonos, or what should have been a very visible couch.
Niragi and Last Boss ended up working together in forcing answers out of anyone that even looked remotely suspicious to them, and receiving the same answers of ‘ No, I haven’t seen anything!’ followed by either running or being frozen in fear of what the two could potentially even do to them. Mira and Kuzuryuu were taking the more simpler approach of just keeping an eye out as they went about their day, careful eyes watching everyone’s movements in the case that they may slip and reveal a connection to the robbery. A note, a simple sign, anything of worth.
Even Hatter was on the move, as he was adamant on retrieving his items back, no matter what. He’s changed out of his usual outfit in favour of a much simpler robe. Hatter knew that there was a chance he wouldn’t hold back, and he didn’t want to stain a perfectly good kimono in this natural punishment. After all, he had to uphold his own rules, didn’t he? Meanwhile, Aguni was out by the cars. There was a chance they could attempt to escape the Beach altogether. Now why steal a bunch of Hatter’s stuff in the meanwhile was unbeknownst to him, and likely unknown to everyone, but it happened, and now here he was.
“ Hey, what brings you out here?” A voice snaps him from his scan over the area, and he looks down to someone smiling up at him, dressed in simple modest swimwear of a tan variety, along with a head covering. Aguni looks around briefly, wondering where this person even came from, or whether this was connected to the case Hatter presented today. He looks back at her, who remained smiling at him, politely and without a hint of mischief or other intention. “ I’m looking for someone. Have you seen someone with some kimonos, maybe some hats? A whole couch, even.” Aguni asks her, as he’s asked others that dared even approach Aguni. The woman shrugs, staring at the cars with a simple curiosity.
“ Nope, not a clue. What kind of person has a whole couch? Isn’t that kind of ridiculous?” Aguni nods a little. It certainly did sound a bit ridiculous, but it was reality, and the reality of it was that someone stole a whole couch along with some articles of clothing. The woman lets out a low whistle, and looks back up at Aguni. “ Well, I wish you luck that you find what you’re looking for! Hopefully they haven’t gotten far!” With that, she walks away, apparently just on a simple stroll and with no ill intention of walking anywhere far. Aguni found the interaction a little strange, but he didn’t exactly suspect them, as they must’ve just gotten curious as to why he was standing out here by himself when there wasn’t even any reason to really be near the cars yet.
So he goes back to watching the cars, counting them just in case. He had to make sure nobody got away with this odd crime.
—————————————————————————————————
Hours pass, and none of them could spot a single thing. Not a single kimono, not a single hat, and no couch.
“ Are you sure someone stole your stuff? Because this is all amounting to wasted time.” Ann questions, folding pale arms over her chest as she looks to Hatter. Hatter nods with a firm determination, Ann continuing to look at Hatter with an air of a serene cold disbelief.
“ Do you mind proving it then? If you wouldn’t mind." “ Of course, of course! Right this way!” Hatter leads the group of executives through the hallway and to his room suite, opening the door and letting them in. Immediately, they could see the clear lack of one of Hatter’s couches, which made the room oddly empty, the table lacking its companion.
“ And look here!” Hatter gestures to his closet, and everyone comes over to take a look. For the most part, everything seemed normal, but a few hangers were clearly now empty, in a random selection that nearly hid the crime unless there was a keen eye that would recognize the pattern, Hatter pouting dramatically. “ A woe! And look down here.” Hatter waves a hand down at boxes on the ground. They looked untouched, but Hatter kneels down and pops off a few lids, revealing empty boxes that they figured must have contained hats at some point.
“And you’re sure you didn’t just misplace them?” Aguni asks, and Hatter whips around, a few pitiful angry tears in his eyes as he looks up at Aguni. “ Of course I did not! I wouldn’t do this to myself on purpose, and these hats were very important to me, you know!”
Aguni grunts slightly in acknowledgement.
“ You don’t suppose they’ve already left, have they?” Mira remarks, and Aguni shakes his head. “ None of the cars were missing from the parking area, so it’s very unlikely. They have to still be on the premise.” “ Come on, we searched every room, and nothing turned up! Every spot is devoid of anything!” Niragi throws a hand up in the air. “ We might as well blame it on ghosts or something like that." “ Ghosts aren’t real, and even so, they would not be able to take a couch, no matter how strong you would make them out to be.” Ann adjusts her sunglasses, and crosses her arms again. “ But it is strange how nobody was able to locate a single responsible party. There is no way this was the work of a single person.” Everyone else nods along, agreeing with Ann. It was certainly a strange case.
“ Let’s look once more, and see if anything new turns up.” Mira offers, and they all spread out among the Beach again, hoping a second sweep would turn up anything.
—————————————————————————————————
Lo and behold, a string of interest finally rears its head in the form of a woman, who was casually trying to put tape on what looks to be a beach ball. Niragi approaches her, who seemed rather invested in whatever she was up to. “ Whatcha got there?” He asks the moment he gets closer, noticing a bunch of iridescent streamers next to her. She looks up with a smile, and just twirls the beach ball in her arm. “ It’s something special.” She chirps, and Niragi raises an eyebrow, smirking. “ Oh yeah? Does this ‘something special’ have anything to do with a missing couch? Maybe some kimonos or hats?” She just smiles more, and settles the beach ball on her lap again. “ That’s silly, why would I have anything to do with a missing couch?” “ Because some idiots stole shit, and now we’re all on a goose chase to find out the culprits.” He stick his tongue out, leaning close to her and he swirls it around. “ And then we’re going to punish them for betraying Hatter. Death to the tr-“ Niragi suddenly gets cut off as cold water suddenly hits him in the face, and he stumbles backwards, wiping the water off hurriedly and grumbling loudly. “ You little…!” He wipes the water and opens his eyes only to be greeted with an empty spot, streamers and all. “ Oi, you bitch! Where the hell did you go!” He looks around the area, but somehow he managed to lose her, Niragi scowling and pulling out his walkie-talkie. There was no way she wasn’t a part of this. “ Hey, I think I found one of the culprits.” He says into the device, and he puts it away as he starts to scour the area for her. Niragi wasn’t going to let her out of his sight again.
At the same time on the other side, Last Boss was walking around trying to look for anything that might have been looked over, and someone comes up to him intentionally, Last Boss pausing and staring at them, internally confused as they smile. “ Hi! I like your hoodie, it looks cool.” Last Boss blinks. They weren’t even scared? That was…. very strange. He doesn’t say a word though, continuing to stare down at this strange person. “ Anyways, I wanted to ask someone, and you were the closest person. Do you think fedoras are valid?” Last Boss just continues to stare down at them, but he eventually offers a simple shrug. He wasn’t actually sure. They were just hats. Wait. “ Do you know who stole the hats?” He asks them, and they just stare back without a hint of knowing or not knowing in their eyes. “ It’s just a question that I wanted to get off my tongue. So, are they or aren’t they? What about top hats, those are cool too. You’d look cool with a hat actually. Maybe a beanie? Ooh, do you like beanies? They’re really soft and-” They continue to ramble about hats, and Last Boss didn’t really have time for this, beginning to unsheathe his katana and stab them. “ Ah, sorry! I must’ve been boring you. Bye for now!” They run off, and Last Boss watches them go. Maybe they were scared of him, and only decided to run the moment he started taking his sword out.
As it normally went. Last Boss slowly blinks, then ends up on his way. The walkie talkie goes off with Niragi’s voice announcing that he may have found one, and Last Boss silently acknowledges it, his walkie talkie continuing to go off as other militants ask for a description to keep an eye out for them.
—————————————————————————————————
Another hour passes, and even with Niragi’s discovery, they still couldn’t find anything. They ended up all taking a lunch break, passing around information on the topic over some sandwiches that Aguni made for everyone. “ So, our only lead is a girl with a beach ball?” Ann questions, her finger delicately wrapped around a sandwich. “ But you somehow lost here because….. you got hit in the face.” “ Fucking water…..” Niragi mutters, tearing a bite off of his own. Chishiya quietly smirks, leaning against the chair with his hands in his pockets. “ To think you got bested by water of all things. Who knew.” “ Shut it milk boy.” Niragi growls, mouth still partially full. Chishiya shifts slightly, getting comfortable. He doesn’t say anything, just watching and offering nothing more than a small lopsided smirk. “ This at least narrows the search. If we find that one person, we can find out who else might be responsible for this.” Aguni tells them all, and they all offer affirmatives in both nods and short agreements. “ So, the last place you saw them was….?” “ By the pool.” “ Right, so let’s search there thoroughly. It’d make no sense for anyone to bring a beach ball into the main building-“ Hatter busts into the dining area suddenly, grinning madly. “ I found them! I found them!” Everyone turns to look at Hatter, both with surprise and interest. Hatter rushes out of the hall, and soon everyone follows after him, Hatter running out and towards where the cars are. Once everyone got out there, they saw the culprit, or better yet, culprits. “ Hey! It’s the fucker with the beach ball!” Niragi yells out, pointing at the girl hanging out from the sunroof, grinning. She was partially covered with what was obviously Hatter’s beloved couch, haphazardly strapped to the car. If any of them squinted, they would also see her wearing one of Hatter’s kimonos, which only further incriminated her. “ And the hat person….” Last Boss mutters, squinting as an open robed person wearing what seemed to be a hoodie underneath judging by the hoodie atop their head hops into the drivers seat, the car roaring to life. Hatter frowns and begins to head over there, as does Aguni and his men, but the car quickly peels away, and laughter fills the air as Niragi and Aguni attempt to shoot the wheels useless and at the car, but whoever was driving managed to avoid every bullet, or really had no fear as they drove away, and the woman hanging out above the sunroof yeets an iridescent streamered beach ball, which added with the speed the car was going, made it a fearsome weapon as it hits Hatter square in the face.
He yelps in pain as he’s knocked back, and everyone watches as the car drives into the sunset, couch strapped to it, and Hatter sits up, rubbing his face. “ Clever, clever……” Hatter opens his eyes as iridescence rolls away from him, Hatter shaking his head. “ But no matter, once we find them….. They’ll pay. They’ll pay hard.” And for these little thieves, they better be ready to face the consequences if they were ever caught. But, at least they had fun doing it~
42 notes · View notes
kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years
Text
Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 1
Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader
Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.
Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol
Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.
Warnings: mentions of murder, blood, brief mentions of torture but not for long
Word Count: 2393
Tumblr media
        Growing up was a lot different for you than anyone else. For the first part of your life, you grew up in a perfect little family with a stable living condition and happy atmosphere. What happened later was easy to explain in all theory. There was a drunk driver and it didn’t end to well for your parents. With no remaining family, you were thrown into the foster care system and rotated around homes until finally one day, a strange woman came in with a smiley demeanor and was walking around the orphanage that you were in looking around when her eyes landed on you. You stared before she approached you. During your time in the system, you met tons of different people. Most were good, but some were bad. Those bad people had two different personalities around different people and you recognized it easily. This time however, it was different. You knew she was bad, but not anything that you were really scared of.
        “You’re not who you say you are.” You whispered to her softly.
        She smiled in a way telling you were right. A few months after that encounter, she came back again. This time however, you were going with her. She took you to a hotel room after a short and quiet drive. That was when she finally started talking.
        “My name is Talia, you will address me as such.” She said, “I’m going to take you to a place far away from here where you will train to become one of the most lethal of your kind.” “I expect only obedience. If I do not get this, you will be punished. Now, do you understand?”
        “Yes Talia.” You replied carefully.
        “What is your preferred name?” Talia asked.
“Y/N.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        From then on, you were trained and taught with the best tutors alive. Not that they wanted to without a bit of persuasion and after your lessons, along with Damian’s, Talia’s birth son, they mysteriously disappeared. You knew what happened to them however. It was pretty easy to guess even for the most stupid person. Besides, you had to kill one yourself in the past.
        You were a quiet person and took well to Talia. She saw you as one of her own. That was high praise coming from someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone at a wrong glance. Your training came from her and only the top members of the League. Anyone else was seen as too easy or below even your own level of skill. That’s how it always was. You always avoided too much conversation with Damian when you were young and merely tolerated him for the most part. You saw him as a begrudging equal in power and standing. You were liked more secretly since you weren’t one to be overly proud or bold in talking about where you stood. In fact, the most you did was command and fight. You saw no point in boasting on positions of power. It was a useless waste of time and a means to get yourself killed.
        On days you got time off, even if It was for a few minutes, you were always found in the quietest parts of the base. Whether that was your room or any kind of gardens, you would be found there. Talia always knew where you were because of this.
        “I expect you are prepared for the next mission Y/N?” She asked walking to you one morning after training.
        “As always Talia.” You said standing to greet her.
        She sat down with you for only a little bit and the conversation was brief.
        “I’ve noticed you’ve been lost in thought recently.” She noted, “What matter is this over?”
        You were shocked. It wasn’t everyday Talia showed any kind of emotion like this. Maybe tiny, tiny gestures after successful missions that you had led, but not much other than that.
        “I’ve just been thinking of the success of my upcoming mission. I need to know that these certain recruits are not going to jeopardize the mission. While they aren’t new, I have an instinct they will prove unfit for this kind of work.”
        “I understand. Measures will be taken if they prove useless.” Talia assured, “All concerns aside, you are needed prepared and ready. If not, the roll of leader will be given elsewhere.”  
        “You should not concern yourself with me, I will be fully capable of leading a squad myself.” You stood, “it is time for me to leave however.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        The mission was going fine until now. You were right about the recruits. When they messed up, you immediately jumped into action killing who they missed. In this process, you were drenched in rain water and blood. No one had ever seen you this furious. This is why you were leader, you were the only one that knew what to do in times of stress and how to punish those who wronged the goal of the missions.
        “You fools!” You shouted in the ship, “You had the perfect chance and did not take it! Your assignments were simple for a reason and you almost jeopardized the entire assignment over a bit of rain!” “I have finished missions nearly dead and you incompetent idiots couldn’t kill four people.” “When we get back to the base, you should be expecting punishment accordingly.”
        The rest of the ride was dead silent but for your second in command and yourself discussing matters of the mission in a different language. It wasn’t a long flight and by the time you were back, you were still soaked. Brushing a piece of wet hair that was just now starting to curl once more, you approached Talia, who was being trailed closely by Damian who almost stepped back by the look you had on your face.
        “What happened?” Talia demanded glaring for a quick second at the questionable recruits.
        “The mission was almost jeopardized by the recruits that I raised concern about. They put unnecessary risks onto the table and missed the simple instructions they were assigned.” You narrowed your eyes some, “I took care of what they couldn’t.” “The mission was successful.”
        “Very well. Hit the showers and meet me in the briefing room in 40 minutes.” Talia said.
        “Understood.” You walked passed her and Damian, only stopping to acknowledge him for a few seconds, “Damian.” You said nodding.
        “Y/N.” You were the only one that could address him as his first name besides Talia and The Demon Head and you were the only one he’d use a first name for.
        You continued down the hallway and a few more before making into another sector of the building that you stayed. Those in high ranking had their own bathrooms such as you and Talia. It was seen as a sign of respect and designation from the rest. You walked into your bedroom, smaller as they tended to be and grabbed your change of clothes. This is what you normally wore around the complex if you weren’t going on missions. It was as simple as a black suit with straps for weapons and a place for your swords. Other than that, it was nothing special. It was against code to wear any kind of sleep wear outside of your room.
_______________________________________________________________________
        While on your way back from the briefing room, you decided to take a detour to the roof tops where you stayed sometimes. The view was incredible at night and the stars shown brighter than you’d seen anywhere else. There was a cool breeze up there and the occasional glimpse of the nightly patrol off in the distance. You were alone for most of the time and became captive to your own thoughts running wild. That didn’t mean you didn’t hear the footsteps behind you though.
        “What brings you to the roof?” You asked to the figure not even turning around.          
        You knew it was Damian just by how he walked. It typically took a few minutes for the two of you to drop your guard, even in the slightest, however it was the only time you could.
        “I wanted some fresh air and figured you’d be here. I am pleased to find that I was not incorrect in my thinking.” He replied sitting next to you.
        “I’m flattered.”
        The sarcastic tone of your comment led a smirk onto Damian’s face.
        “You looked abnormally angry after today’s assignment.” He commented, “I was surprised to see you so...”
        “Covered head to toe in blood and rain?”
        “Precisely.”
        “Well, that would not have happened if there was not a reason for it to. By all means, sometimes, I expect there to be mistakes. I also expect there to be repercussions. But if you cannot even finish off the simplest of tasks, you are by all means an absolute incompetent fool.” “I could have done that as a young child.”
        “I noticed you seemed to be less than pleased when recruits were assigned on Monday.” Damian said, “I presumed it was something to do with those individuals.”
        “Correct.”
        There was some silence between the two of you. Some night up on the rooftops, there were no conversations. You two acknowledged each other’s presence and continued on your way, minding your own business, and ultimately being comfortable in each other’s company. However, tonight you had something else in mind.
        “Has Talia been acting strangely more... emotional? In a positive way I think.” You asked him, “I thought it might have just been me, but with some more conversation with her earlier this morning, I suspect something must be wrong.”
        “I have noticed that. I am sure that there is nothing too terribly wrong to fear. Grandfather has had no change in his demeanor... That said, he is more seasoned to conflict.” Damian remarked, “You do get more information on matters on occasion with your status.”
        “I know, that’s why I’m concerned.” “I don’t want to be caught in the middle of some war or whatever the case may be. Besides, I have my real assignment which is watching over you. I don’t need anything getting in the way of why I’m supposedly really here.”          
        “You are aware that your “only job” isn’t just to be my protector or however my mother worded when we were young children. You’re also one of most commanding and powerful people I’ve ever met. Your position was well placed in your hands and it is well taken care of by you.” Damian commented.
        “High praise coming from the grandson of The Demon Head.” You almost let a smile slip onto your face at what he said.
        “I don’t remember a day where you weren’t there in some way.” He said, “Whether that was to scold me for being too proud of my bloodline or just making sarcastic remarks about anything you could.” He smirked, “Not that I didn’t fire back.”
        “Mhmm. Talia, as much as she doesn’t want to admit it was extremely amused when I used to talk like that to you. Although, she denies it every time now.” You thought back to the days when you and Damian used to bicker about everything. You were always secretly the more serious one no matter how much he wanted to keep that up. For you, there was no family line to fall back on. You only had your reputation and especially here, that was easy and dangerous to damage.
        “What do you think is going on?” He asked, “If there is anything wrong, one of us, if not both will know within the next few weeks at most.”
        “I don’t really know. I think that it might be something internal. The Demon Head and Talia might be about to sweep the lower and middle ranks for traitors or those less competent. They might even take the upper ranks. Just watch your back.”
        “As always.”
        You looked back out at the view looking at the mountain tops, inspecting each and every one that you could see. The snow gleamed in pale moonlight and every once in a while, you’d possibly see a shooting star go by. When training wasn’t underway and most everyone was asleep, the compound was one of the most peaceful places you’d ever been. You caught yourself yawning and suddenly a wave of exhaust washed over you.
        “How long has it been since you slept properly?” Damian asked noticing right away your shift in demeanor.
        “Maybe four days at best. It was just the mission preparations. I��ll be fine, besides, training for me in the morning is not until later. I’ll have time to sleep longer.” You stood back up, “I am going to head back to my room now. However, I do expect to see you at sparring tomorrow?”
        “I will be there.”
        With that, you hopped down the roof top and left back for your room. You knew he’d follow shortly after you, it was customary for him to after some alone time. That always helped with anything he was dealing with since he rarely ever got it. That’s the unspoken worst part about being in the positions you two were in. There was never any time to yourselves.
176 notes · View notes
Text
Due to recent events, it has become clear to us that a quick clarifying statement needs to be put out. The message is as follows: our current policy is that the character page for June Egbert refer to the character as John, but this is NOT because the mspaintadventures wiki staff disagree with June's existence. There are multiple transfeminine individuals on our staff, including myself, and I think I speak for all of the staff when I say we look forward to what Homestuck can do for transgender representation in the future.
Our current stance stems from a commitment to journalistic standards, and an aversion to documenting facts that simply are not there.
The mspaintadventures wiki is intended as an encyclopaedia of the contents of Andrew Hussie's works, including Homestuck and its spinoffs from other authors. Statements made on personal social media accounts by authors usually do not reflect the actual content of these works, and as such are included on the wiki as exactly that: statements made on authors' personal social media accounts. You will note that the June Egbert acknowledgement is not exempt from this; it is included on the character's trivia section. If the wiki considered Andrew Hussie's twitter to be a high priority source, and changed the entire contents of the page to suit, how would this reflect on a new reader using the wiki as an accessory to their reading? Would it be fair for the page to refer to a character that this reader would not actually be able to enjoy in the comic or its spinoffs, only to be found in posts buried in rarely-used twitter accounts? Our current policy says no.
The fact is that it has been over a year since Andrew announced that June's addition to the comic 'will be done', and since then very little has actually been done. Since Homestuck's end, the author has delivered a sequel in which a prominent female character is given a penis as a joke and treated as an unhealthy sex addict and had one of the authors of said sequel create a story about one of Hiveswap's most highly anticipated transgender characters which fails to mention his transgenderness at all and instead focuses on his unhealthy sexuality. Since the June announcement on twitter, the character has appeared in multiple additional spinoffs, and yet still no explicit reference to her gender identity has been made. Instead this honor has been given to several more minor characters, including some who have speaking roles in less than two of the comic's Acts.
Frankly, what concerns us above all of this is giving credit where it is not due. To make major changes to June's character page merely due to Andrew's tweets would be to document that Andrew Hussie has included a transgender woman as the main character of his Homestuck franchise, which thus far he has not. This is not something that we are refusing to acknowledge or talk about; this conversation has taken place, both among wiki staff and with various parts of the community. Despite Andrew Hussie and What Pumpkin's insistence on deliberately obfuscating the 'canonicity' of all of Homestuck's sequels and spinoffs, we have made the commitment to properly change June's character pages (both canon and dubiously canon) when this change actually occurs within What Pumpkin's published media. All users who disagree with this commitment or actively try to invalidate June's existence in their edits have been turned away, and we plan to continue to do this. All we ask is that our userbase stick by us on this simple policy, and at the very least try not to make our jobs harder than they need to be or make the platform any harder to use for your fellow community members.
Thank you for your understanding.
44 notes · View notes
captain-sodapop · 4 years
Note
actually genuinely curious whether destiel antis are this way bc they’re homophobic or can’t get over the toxicity of the ship bc i def understand their latter but no one even,,, addresses it in their hate??
Hi!
I mean, let’s be real: for some of them, it’s definitely homophobia.  Not a valid reason for not liking destiel, and certainly not why I don’t ship it.  However, I do not know of anyone in my immediate circle who dislikes it for that reason.  In fact, I would be shocked if that were the case, considering so many of my friends on here ship sastiel, deanxbenny, jodyxdonna, dreamhunter, etc.  For me - and I think the majority of others (at least, I hope) it has nothing to do with it being an mlm ship.  There are other reasons why I don’t ship them (under the cut because it got pretty long):
1) I just...don’t like it?  Like, it’s that simple.  I’m not into seeing Dean and Cas together romantically.  From what I can tell, most of the general audience falls in this category, too.  I obviously don’t think it’s inherently wrong to ship it, and I try not to generalize.  i follow and have followers who ship destiel, and they’re lovely people!  I’m personally just not into it.  I literally cannot picture a romantic or sexual relationship between these two characters. 
2) There are certainly toxic elements to it, like you mentioned, and I think a lot of people notice this.  Nobody on this show is perfect, but it’s hard for me to look at Dean and Cas - who argue and belittle each other more than Cas or Sam, or Cas and Jack - and be like “oh yeah that’s true love.”  And often it’s Dean and his temper getting in the way of this.  Not to mention that Dean only recently forgave Cas for what happened to his mother, and that “apology” in 15x09 wasn’t really an apology for his previous behavior.  Yes, it was good to see Dean admit to having a horrible temper and let Cas know that he cares about him and forgives him, but it wasn’t truly an apology.  I just think that for as much as I enjoy their friendship, their relationship with each other doesn’t suit romance.  Look at Sam and Cas - I don’t ship sastiel, either, really, but I can see that their relationship is much more relaxed and understanding.  Plus there’s the fact that Dean (and Sam, of course, but he clearly wasn’t 100% on board and regretted it almost instantly) manipulated Jack and was willing to kill him, and Cas...Jack was Cas’s kid first, beloved and wanted, and even if Dean and Cas can be friends again, how do you even move on from that, really?  There are more examples of the more toxic element, but I’m already sorta getting long-winded here.
3) I ship Cas with other people, and so do others, so they just prefer him with someone else.  Totally cool, too.
4) I firmly and enthusiastically agree that people should have whatever headcanons they want and ship just about whatever they want (I also am firmly and enthusiastically against any pedophillic or incestuous ships, just so you know).  You think Dean is bi?  Awesome!  Sam is trans?  Love it!  Angels are on the autism spectrum?  I can totally see it!  Headcanons and shipping can make interacting with a text more personal and fun.  And text can definitely be open to interpretation, so it’s not even necessarily wrong to interpret Dean as bisexual.  But the way I read canon, Dean is straight.  I have never seen him express sexual or romantic interest in another man.  I’ve seen him acknowledge that another man is attractive, sure, but that’s normal.  I can admit that another woman is attractive, but still not want to be with her.  So for me, unless it’s explicitly stated in canon in these last seven episodes, I think it’s canon that Dean is straight and wouldn’t be interested in Cas anyway.  We can agree to disagree - I certainly welcome it! - but I’m someone who adheres pretty strictly to canon, usually.  And that��s how I see the canon.
5) One of the things I think supernatural has done better than a lot of other shows is show that families and friendships come in many forms.  To me, Team Free Will is a unit, and it would feel weird to me if any of them became romantically involved with each other, as if the dynamic had been thrown off-balance.  Same reason I don’t ship any of the boys in The Outsiders together - they’re a band of brothers, not necessarily related by blood, but a found family.  So when Dean says to Cas that he and Sam view Cas as a brother, then a romantic relationship between any of them would just feel...off to me.  
6) Finally, looking at the story and the character arcs and considering the character games, I do not see Dean ending up in a romantic relationship, or even wanting it.  Casual sex?  Yep.  A home?  Yep yep.  A family?  Yes, yes, yes a thousand times.  But a family, like I said above, can look like many things.  I also can’t see Cas ending up in a romantic relationship or wanting one (even though I ship megstiel.)  It’s just not where their stories seem to be headed.  Sam?  Sure.  I think the show is setting up him and Eileen to share some sort of romantic relationship in some capacity (which - woohoo!  At least on my end.)  But even then, that’s up in the air.  Romance is honestly the least of the characters’ - and especially the story’s - worries.  They have many much more pressing matters to attend to that need to be resolved first before any real talk of romance.
7) I feel like I should mention this even though it doesn’t have to do with the ship or the characters directly, but on the whole?  The destiel community is incredibly toxic.  Harassing cast and crew, harassing fans who disagree with them, superiority complexes, fetishization, unwillingness to listen to outside perspectives, believing their read of canon is the be-all end-all, and a dynamic that to me is eerily similar to the old Harry Potter fandom’s Inner Circle (of Cassandra Clare and msscribe fame).  This obviously doesn’t apply to every individual who ships destiel, but in general I don’t find the whole group pleasant to interact with or very welcoming.  It kinda turns you off the ship to know that’s the community you’re dealing with, and if/when destiel doesn’t go canon?  The toxicity will increase tenfold.  Hell, it’ll increase even if it does because their egos will go through the roof.  
I hope that clears some things up for you.  Once again, the fact that it’s an mlm ship IS NOT THE PROBLEM.  If anyone says that’s why they don’t ship it, fuck ‘em.  And there are many individual destiel shippers who are wonderful and I love interacting with, and are very understanding and accepting and non-toxic.  But these are the reasons I don’t ship it, so I’m sorry if I haven’t made that clear in the past.  I think a lot of people share the same reasoning, too, so I’m sorry if they haven’t made that clear either.  I know I sometimes get caught up in the wank and making jokes, and so do others, and our reasons for not shipping it can get lost in that.  I’m not trying to make any personal attacks.
But thank you for asking this, and I hope this cleared some things up for you!
58 notes · View notes
httpbread · 4 years
Note
So we know that (male) Akane doesn’t like supernaturals... how about we disregard his absolute devotion to Aoi and slowly make him realize he’s falling for a supernatural? Hcs or scenario is up to you, thank you! :)
Second Request:
Tumblr media
Pairing: Akane x reader
Words: 5617
Hey! I really hope you don’t mind but I thought these two requests went well together so I combined them xx
“Kako-san~!”
Akane wanted to slam his head into the wall the split second he heard that familair voice.
That didn’t matter though.
No matter how hard he pleaded and begged, the old man still wouldn’t ban them from the domain.
But maybe… just maybe… if he hit his head hard enough, he could knock himself out, and he wouldn’t have to listen to their stupid voice. If he was lucky, he’d be knocked out for their whole visit.
Akane quickly realized his only luck had been spent when they thankfully sauntered past him.
“Yes, (Y/n)?” The old man croaks, not even peering under his hood, the rock of his ever creaky chair never faltering.
The invasive school mystery comes to a stop before his superior, “Any chance you’re in the mood for favors…?”
Sounds like someone was in trouble.
Serves them right…
Not that (Y/n) was ever free from trouble, as they were the definition of catastrophe all by themself.
However, their hobbies were no help to them.
Mystery no. 8, the gambling spirit, depending on the poor sap who has wandered upon the heathen, the stakes were different every time. From what he had seen, (Y/n) often based the gambles off of the individual’s desires, but whether they were the deeper ones they could get their grubby paws on or lighter ones depended on the spirit’s mood.
While one time he had watched them gamble a girl into the ground for a month’s supply of juice boxes…
He had also watched them gamble with their very life and everything they owned.
In that gamble, the student had lost, leaving everything they had to the school mystery, only for no. 8 to simply dismiss them.
While he often found them agitating just because of their sly personality, what was most annoying about them was how difficult they were to read.
Some days, they gambled with an iron fist, easily driving the most skilled players to the end of their wits and putting them down without even batting a lash.
Other times, he’d watched them lose games as simple as old maid.
Sometimes, he would think they’d do it on purpose, but other times he wasn’t so sure. They never seemed to care, high stakes, low stakes, they could both lose and win at either like no other.
They made no sense to him, which was another reason he tried to avoid them.
“Awe, come on, Kako-san, can’t we flip a coin? Heads, you help me. Tails, I clean your domain top to bottom.”
They’re on their knees before his superior, cupping their cheeks and batting their lashes up at the old man.
Again, he also avoided them due to their… personality…
“We have Akane do that already.”
“Yeah, but Akane doesn’t have a little problem he needs to solve! (N/n) here does,” they whine out, trying to make puppy-er eyes at the old man.
For such a deceitful creature, their appearance suited their needs quite well.
Big unsuspecting (e/c) eyes framed by long lashes. Plenty squish-able cheeks. A nice nose. Pouty soft lips. A tousled head of (H/l) (h/c) locks, framing their charming looks perfectly. Smooth hands covered in cute bandaids, making them look a little clumsy.
Angelic, was how Akane would describe them.
That is if he didn’t know them.
He knew full well that they used their innocent looks to their advantage, looping players into their web.
In a way…
He almost found it impressive.
They used every little thing they could get their hands on to their advantage.
However, that didn’t change the fact they were a demon dressed up like a cutesy student.
“Is it really wise to add another gamble to the one you already lost? What if you lose this one too, what will you do then?”
“They’re a gambling addict, Kako. I don’t think that matters to them.”
(E/c) eyes catch him, making him wish he never spoke.
“Addict?” They echo, tilting their head, an ever wicked smile upturning the corners of their lips, “Akane-kun, you wound me!”
Yet, they turn back to Kako.
“If I acknowledge my addiction will you gamble with me?” They ask immediately, cheery voice dropping to a more serious note.
Kako only rocks, gazing down at them for a long time.
Eventually, he mutters out.
“Sometimes I wonder if you’re really as inept as you act.”
This was not very reassuring to Akane’s own thoughts.
He didn’t know much about their relationship, but he knows (Y/n) and Kako had been friends for a great many years.
(Y/n) often popped into their domain to see if he was up for a gamble, usually giving up after a while and ends up playing more baby-ish card games with Mirai, who unlike Akane, was always delighted to see the spirit in their domain.
“Ohh! A mystery bet, huh?”
The glitter dancing in the (h/c) haired spirit’s eyes was far from a good omen.
Mystery bet? What was that about?“
"Which will it be, Kako-san?”
Abruptly, a coin shot high into the air above, the dim candlelight of the room kissing it.
(Y/n) held their palm out flat to the old man, extending him an all too familiar grin as well.
“Heads or tails?”
Akane blinks when the old man’s hand suddenly slaps down atop their much smaller one, surely before the coin could even land.
“Heads,” he mutters passively as if he hadn’t nearly lunged at the spirit, who looked just as unfazed.
Akane wonders if they had done this before.
“That means I’m tails,” (Y/n) clarifies, intense gaze holding the old man unwaveringly.
For a moment, they hold this silent, strange staring contest.
“Are you sure you don’t want to clarify the stakes?”
At this, Kako chuckles quietly, “Worried, (Y/n)?”
“‘Course not,” they comment, still smiling, looking almost amused at the prospect, “I’ve already won, Kako-san. Gambling with you is always a delight.”
“Then you’ll be happier to know you won the gamble as well.”
They blink at this, looking down as Kako removes his hand-
And sure enough.
Laying in the flat of their palm, the coin sits, tails side up.
“Oh!” Their face lights up like a firework on the Fourth of July, exploding with delight as they close their fingers around their coin.
Kako leans back, settling more comfortably into his rocking chair once again as the spirit cheerfully slips their coin into the pocket of their blazer.
“So?” They chirp, chipper as ever, “What do I win? Will you help me now?”
Geez. They really were hopeless, weren’t they?
“Nope.”
They deflate, dramatic as ever as they pout at Kako, “All that, and I still lost?”
“I didn’t say that,” the old man smiles, beginning to rock again, “I just happen to be too busy with my own work as of the moment. My apologies.”
Akane hastily looks away as Kako’s eyes find him.
Maybe if he pretended he wasn’t paying attention he would be safe.
“Which is why I will send Akane to help solve your problem.”
Except, no amount of playing pretend would save him from the knife lodging in his back.
The bright-eyed fiend instantly turns to blink at him.
He glares back at them, hoping they’ll catch a hint that he’d make their life a living hell if they took Kako up on his offer.
However, they turn and wail, “Kako-san! How is he supposed to help me?! He only stops time- and I need time to turn back!”
“You’ll have to figure that out yourself, (Y/n). You have my best wishes in your endeavor.”
He’s surprised at the conflicted look he spied dancing on the spirit’s features.
It looks genuine.
However, they relented with a sigh.
“Thank you, Kako-san…”
Wait, no-
“Of course, (Y/n),” he addresses the heathen, before gesturing for him, “As for you, boy, you’ll be helping (Y/n) for the next two days.”
He looks over at (Y/n) again, who’s clearly sulking, “Two days, right?”
“No. Just tomorrow, I guess,” they sigh again.
Kako nods, “One day, Akane.”
Even just one day… serving (Y/n)…
Maybe if he hit his head hard enough against the wall he could knock himself into a short coma instead.
-
The next morning, when he arrived early to school, normally ready to head to the student council room, he found himself reluctantly trudging past it.
Down the hall.
To the oldest classroom in this wing.
Once the gambling club’s room many years ago, now turned into the debate club’s headquarters.
However, the person who spent the most time there had no such interest in arguments.
He slid the door open.
They sat in the middle of the room, a solitaire game before them, eyes snapping up to find his.
They look surprised to see him.
“Akane-kun?” They utter, lowering the card in their colorful bandaid plastered hand.
They look confused, and a little worried to see him.
“Is something wrong?”
He wants to scream.
He does not.
“Idiot. Don’t you remember Kako’s deal?”
They blink at him.
Once.
Then twice.
“Oh!” A big smile finds their face, “Come in, come in!”
Now he wishes he never spoke. Maybe he could have lied and said Kako changed his mind. That Kako needed him for something today.
But no.
No, instead, he’d gotten himself further stuck with heathen number eight.
He reluctantly shuts the door behind him, shrugging out of his bag and setting it beside the door, watching as (Y/n) lifts their card back up.
They study it for a moment, before settling it into one of the rows.
Before promptly moving the whole row to another, different row, before flipping the last card over in that row.
Really? They were still playing cards?
They didn’t look nearly as worried as they had yesterday about whatever problem they had to deal with.
In fact, their pretty face looked almost peaceful as they picked up a new card.
They really were so beautiful when they didn’t open their big mouth. He was almost certain if their personality was any sense of vaguely tolerable they could have anyone falling for them.
Yet, as far as Akane knew, they never had anyone kissing their shoes in that aspect.
He sits down in front of them, their worn, faded cards sitting on the floor between them.
They glance up at him briefly, before drawing another card.
“Isn’t it early?” They set it down under a three of hearts, “You don’t have to be here yet.”
He shakes his head.
“Don’t patronize me,” he huffs, flashing them a narrowed look which they don’t even look up to acknowledge, “My orders are to serve you all day.”
They only nod, seeming a little absent as they pluck another card from the dwindling deck, “Ah.”
That’s all they say.
‘Ah’.
He finds himself staring.
What demon crawled up from hell and dragged his (Y/n) back where they belonged?
Because this quiet creature was not the eighth mystery he’d come to know and loathe.
“Just what is your malfunction?” The question slips off his scandalized tongue before he can filter it out.
The spirit looks up, (e/c) eyes a little round.
For that split second, they seem to forget themself.
Before they’re quickly grinning at him.
“Malfunction?” They echo, “What, do you want me to give you a shitty errand list or something?”
Akane squints at them.
Despite their suddenly chipper tone and their big smile…
Something is off.
He can feel it.
“Not particularly.”
“Then why don’t you do some school work or something until class?” They suggest, looking back down at their cards, “I’m busy.”
Akane’s mouth nearly drops open.
They weren’t even going to try and annoy him?
“Better yet.”
They suddenly swipe their hand along with their unfinished game, scattering it.
Their forced smile has vanished.
“You’re dismissed. I won’t be needing your help today.”
Akane never thought he’d see the day where he’d hear something like that coming from (Y/n)’s mouth.
He always pictured them grinning, with little red horns and a pitchfork, cackling with their innocent laugh as they poked and prodded him. Taunting. Teasing.
This wasn’t like (Y/n) at all.
“I don’t think so,” he pushes to his feet just as they rise to their feet.
They blink at him, looking down at his outwards arms, blocking their escape.
“I don’t know what your stupid problem is, but if you don’t start acting right, I’ll tear this whole school apart until its fixed.”
Sure, he couldn’t stand mystery number eight.
But he sure as well wasn’t going to stand this sad excuse for the eighth mystery.
“Hah?” Their brows are drawn, the spirit looking at him like he’s gone crazy.
And maybe he has.
“You heard me,” he huffs, unfaltering in his demand, “I’m going to help you whether you like it or not.”
Their eyes widened a smidgen.
But his eyes are more interested in the darling pink color dusting the bridge of their nose, along their soft cheeks.
“You can’t help me!” They utter, sounding scandalized, very firmly crossing their arms as they face him, adding, “Not that I need it.”
He reaches forward, flicking their cheek, “I wasn’t asking.”
They bat his hand away, offering him a sour look, “I don’t care. Aren’t you supposed to be my servant to something today?”
At this, a funny thought crosses his mind.
Making a smile curve at his lips.
“The old man only said I had to help you for the day. Not that I had to listen to you.”
They look a little stunned but very crossed at this statement.
Akane wondered if he could get back at the mystery with this loophole.
Two birds with one stone.
Solve whatever was bothering the gambler and maybe knock them off their game in the process.
-
At lunchtime, he found them outside, sitting at the fountain.
A flashy coin darted between their hands.
For a moment, he didn’t approach them as planned, watching idly.
The coin moved with an unforgiving pace, flashing between their skillful plaster covered hands for a couple of seconds before shooting up into their air.
When it fell back in range, it would shoot back and forth a couple more times, before flipping airborne again.
Yet, despite the coin tricks, (Y/n)’s mind was clearly elsewhere, a flummoxed look marking their features, putting a draw in their brows and a distant look in their eyes, pressing their lips together.
“(Y/n)?”
The coin flies out of their hands, their shoulders jumping.
“Oi! Don’t sneak up on people!” They bark, hastily turning to glower up at him.
The heathen looks at him for a moment longer, making their distaste clear, before grumbling under their breath, twisting around to scan their narrowed eyes along the water behind them.
They lift a hand, ready to plunge it into the water.
Only to have it pushed away as he finds a seat next to them.
“You’re going to ruin your bandages if you keep doing that.”
He takes their hand in his dry one, flipping it over to drop a new quarter in their smaller softer hand after he has dried it on his sweater.
When he releases their hand, he looks away, shaking out his now wet one.
Only to glimpse at their rosy face.
“What?”
He has to remind himself that there’s a demon under that pretty face of theirs and that he shouldn’t be fooled by their adorable blush and wide-eyed looks.
“Nothing.”
His eyes flicker down at the flash of movement, watching at the coin flips along their knuckles.
They’re back to fidgeting again.
He almost sighs.
“So, (Y/n),”
They don’t say anything, looking off again, coin only picking up speed.
“Why did you need Kako again?” He asks, despite knowing they would sooner die again than answer him, judging by the way they’ve been acting all day, “You said you wanted to turn back time, right?”
Accordingly, they don’t respond.
“Why?”
Nor do they respond to this, the coin suddenly shooting up into the air again.
He tries a different question.
“Is the reason why you needed Kako the same thing that’s got you all wound up?”
But the spirit remains silent, stubbornly refusing his gaze as the coin flickers between their palms again, before rolling across the knuckles of their left hand.
The coin is then in the air again.
“(Y/n).”
Then flickering again.
“(L/n) (Y/n).”
Up in the air.
But this time…
Before it hits their hands again…
He heatedly snatches it, swiping it with both his hands curling into fists, for arms making an ‘x’ as he glares at them.
They stare at him.
“My coin…”
He holds their gaze firmly.
If they wouldn’t answer his questions the easy way, they would do this the hard way.
“Which hand?”
They blink.
Quieted for a moment with confusion.
“Hah?” Their face then screws up, even more confused.
“I said pick a hand.”
He stares them down unwaveringly.
They gaze back.
“Pick the one with the coin and you can have it back,” He says lightly, “I’ll even leave you alone for the rest of the day.”
They quickly lift a finger.
“Pick the wrong one and you’ll tell me everything.”
They quickly lower the finger.
“What kind of game is that?” They scowl at him, not looking the slightest bit happy with these odds.
Akane isn’t sure when he last smiled so hard.
“What? Has the notorious number eight finally found a gamble they wouldn’t take?” He teases, leaning forward to further observe the displeased look on their face.
He wasn’t ever one to turn opportunity down when it came knocking at his door.
“Bastard!” They hiss instantly at his words, stirring a laugh from his lips.
As he chuckles, he relents to their claws as they hastily open his right hand.
But Akane knows they won’t find what they’re looking for.
They’re quiet in their dismay, poker face failing them as they stare down at his empty palm.
“Wh-What?” They quickly run their fingers across his help, “That can’t be! I saw you catch it!”
“How unfortunate,” he coos, lowering his hands.
He had to admit, they had a good eye.
But shouldn’t a gambler have a better eye for tricks?
Had they just flipped that hand over, they would’ve seen the coin they were looking for, slotted just between his fingers.
He leans back on his hands, discreetly placing the coin behind him as he retorts.
“Start talking, number eight.”
They look at him for a moment, indignation dancing in their eyes, written all over their pretty face.
“Fine,” they utter after a moment, (e/c) eyes narrowing at him, “You won.”
However, they’re then pulling a coin from the pocket of their blazer.
He almost distracts them by asking why the hell they were fishing them out of the fountain if they already had one, but he then recognizes it.
It was the gold one they always kept on them, the one they used for coin tosses, already passing back and forth between their hands like before.
“Do you know the biggest rule about my mystery?”
He looks up from their capable hands, but they’re gazing out into the garden.
“Never not be a demon?” He tilts his head.
He earns himself a scathing glance.
“No!” They huff, looking away from him again, “The law of my boundary is that I can’t turn down a bet!”
This is foreign to his ears.
“Okay, I’m a little flattered you didn’t know that,” they catch his surprise, “But you should also know that’s my own folly.”
Of course it was.
“What does that have to do with the problem then?” He asks, leaning back on one hand for a moment, pushing his glasses back up and back on his head to be more comfortable.
As he leans back on his hands again, they continue, “Because yesterday a boy came in with a bet I would have turned down if I could.”
His eyes are immediately fluttering back open though.
He sits up, not even blinking as his glasses are knocked off his head, taking a swan dive into the fountain.
(Y/n) is a different story, “Wh- Akane!”
But as they lunge forward, he hastily grabs their hand before it can hit the water, once again, a more pressing issue occupying his current thoughts.
“What did you bet?”
He hadn’t realized he’d come across so firmly until those owlish eyes found his.
Before quickly averting.
Their face is growing red, “I-I mean, it’s not that bad! Not at all! I just- well- uhm
Subconsciously, he trails his thumb along the bandaids littering their lithe fingers.
"Then what is it?”
They’re silent, avoiding his watchful gaze.
But how is he supposed to look away? The sweet rosy look on their face… It’s bewitching. Uncommon, for sure.
Plus, when would he get the chance to see the infamous mystery eight looking so embarrassed any other time?
But they’re mumbling something, and he can’t hear.
“You’re going to have to speak-”
“I lost and now I owe some guy a kiss!”
For a moment, he’s lost in their determined, flustered expression, not even properly realizing their outburst.
“A kiss? What’s so-”
His mutter comes to a stop instantly.
(Y/n) gazes up at him, the coin flickering across the knuckles of their free hand.
“A kiss?” He echoes, clarifying.
They nod.
“Pretty stupid to get all bent out of shape about, huh?” They murmur, a small rueful smile wavering on their lips.
His eyes narrow.
“Your first kiss?”
Three words and their face was growing hot again.
“Maybe!” They try to rebuttal, but a one-word argument was almost always bound to lose.
Except for this time, he supposes, judging by the bell ringing in his ears.
“By when?”
They blink.
“I think I’m supposed to meet him in my domain… after school today, I mean.”
He nods, looking down at their hand, still trapped in his.
Releasing it, he turns the fountain muttering, “Okay.”
They sit there, stunned as he reaches into the fountain, grabbing his glasses, before getting to his feet.
As he shakes them out, he tells them.
“I’ll see you then.”
-
“Akane-kun?”
Aoi’s voice barely pulls him from his racing thoughts.
He turns to find his friend gazing at him curiously, her tilted head propped up on her hand.
“What’s wrong?” He says, brows drawing.
However, Aoi only smiles at this.
“If you were listening,” she teases lightly, “You’d know I asked first.”
Him?
“Nothing at all,” he’s further confused, “Sorry.”
“I’ll accept…”
She leans forward, smiling with mischief.
“Only if you tell me what girl you’re thinking about."’
He wasn’t thinking about a girl, though.
No, instead, he was thinking of a boy.
He was thinking hard, trying to figure out which specific boy was asking for a bat to the face and a kiss from a particular ghost.
"I would if there was one, Ao-chan.”
But was there?
He guessed if you connect the dots of his wandering mind they did lead back to that idiot…
But still, that wasn’t like…
Sure, okay, he had kind of been thinking about her, but not in that way. Not the way Aoi, his childhood crush, was asking!
“Are you sure~?”
He blinks, looking up at her, who smirks a little at him.
Well, it’s not like he could lie to her.
“Not really…”
He watches as she draws a delicate hand up, burying a quiet giggle into it.
He makes a face, “Don’t laugh!”
“Oh? We’re laughing?”
“No, we’re not, no one is laughing,” he tells Yashiro firmly.
“Akane-kun has a new crush!” Aoi beams as she whisper-yells to the girl sitting behind him.
He looks at her, scandalized, “I do not!”
“Oh my gosh, Akane-kun! That’s great!” Yashiro whisper cheers at him, giving him two thumbs up and a big smile.
No! It wasn’t! Not that it was true but even if it was!
It. Was. Not. Great.
“Have you asked them out yet?” Aoi asks.
“Oh! If only the confession tree was still around,” Yashiro adds, “But what about the roof?”
“Too popular,” Aoi dismisses, “What about the garden?”
Akane is reeling, listening to their planning of his apparent confession to a ghost, unable to even speak.
“What about a love letter in their desk?”
“Oh? Maybe chocolates or something in their locker. They might like that.”
“Or flowers!”
“Oh! I’ve been growing some really pretty ones in the garden. I’d be happy to make you a bouquet, Akane-kun!”
However, the bell cuts through the madness.
For a moment, he forgets himself.
He’d been waiting for the bell.
But-
Fuck!
Akane launched to his feet, “Sorry, I have to go.”
“Huh? But what about your confession-”
But he’s already making his way off.
“Uhm- Akane-kun! What about your stuff?”
There’s no time!
“Akane-kun?!”
-
Three flights of stairs, seven halls, and two occasions of him just about tripping over his own feet-
The debate room finally came into view.
He didn’t hesitate for a single moment, nearly tearing the door right from the wall.
However, what he was expecting, sure as hell wasn’t what was staring back at him.
“Uhm.”
A boy speaks up, but Akane doesn’t think he’s the one who needs his fist in the face, “Can we help you?”
He slams the door shut.
Damn it!
For someone who could stop time, he sure as hell didn’t have time for this!
Why the hell was the debate club in the debate club room after school?
Where was (Y/n)?
And more importantly- where was the dead man who was probably kissing them right now?!
-
(Y/n) had probably dropped their coin seven times now.
“Are you ready now?”
“N-no. Give me a minute!” They hiss at the eager boy with the messy blue locks.
But the coin hits their lap again.
They couldn’t do it!
They couldn’t
Hell- they could hardly even flip a stupid coin right with their shaky hands- it would be like pulling a bar and new coin trick out of thin air!
And they were meant to just-
Meant to-
They were meant to-
They couldn’t even fathom it!
Give this boy, this cocky no-name guy-
Well, okay, he probably said his name at some point, they just didn’t listen very well, but still!
How the hell were they supposed to kiss this- this-
This absolute stranger!
They snatched up their coin.
It felt cold in their clammy hands.
Geez, they were getting way too worked up about this
They genuinely wished Akane was there. Of course, he made them nervous too, and he had a habit of making a mockery of their poker face, but they at least liked him!
Wait- no, not like that.
He just made them nervous in a good way!
Not like this, not in a way that made them feel like they’d throw up the butterflies racing around in their stomach.
An unwelcome hand finds their shoulder.
“Oh come on, I don’t have all day, you know.”
They choke down an angry retort.
“I know! But wait- just- uh, gotta wait for the right moment, yeah?” They flash him a fake smile, trying to cover up their feelings.
This was no good.
At this rate, they really might barf!
(Y/n) couldn’t even remember the last time they were this nervous. They weren’t even this nervous when they died!
But this boy- he’s taking their face in their hands.
“You don’t wait for the moment,” he argues, frowning at them in annoyance, “You make the moment.”
Their eyes widen harshly as he suddenly leans forward.
However, they’re hastily ripping away from him at the harsh slam that greets them.
Their eyes find an unfamiliar sight.
“A-Akane-kun?!”
His face is painted red, his hairs a tousled mess, and his glasses nowhere to be seen.
He’s panting, leaning against the door like he might pass out at any second.
“Oi, but off, vice,” the boy next to them scoffs, offering their fellow mystery a double thumbs-up, except, with their middle fingers instead, “We’re busy here!”
“The hell you are!” Akane huffs, voice sounding rough as he shoves away from the door, slouching a little with exhaustion as he marches their way.
(Y/n) can only watch in pure shock as Akane yanks the boy up by his collar.
They almost believe he’s going to put his fist through the poor sap’s skull.
Until their mouth drops open, watching as their friend slams his lips against the boy’s pair, who yelps instantly, jerking away like he’s been burned.
“Wh- What the fuck?!”
(Y/n) has the same question, staring up at Akane, stunned.
“You should be more specific when you gamble,” the brunet says, sucking in a breath as he begins to calm down as if everything was suddenly fine!
“Hah?!”
(Y/n) is even more stunned when Akane smirks.
“You just asked for a kiss. You should’ve made sure to say from who.”
At that moment, both horrifying and vaguely awe-inspiring…
All (Y/n) can do is stare up at the boy they know.
And start to laugh.
They weren’t present for the rest of the debate between the boys, too caught up in their own relief and humor.
Akane kissed someone for them!
He had kissed someone because they would have had to give away their first.
Akane had saved them, of all people, from a kiss, of all things.
Maybe they were just dizzy with relief, not in their right mind after so abruptly losing all the nervousness they had built up in their body, but they just couldn’t stop laughing, not even as the door to the roof shut, the boy they were meant to kiss long gone.
They didn’t stop giggling until their watering eyes found two shoes stopping before them.
They look up, grinning so hard their face hurts almost as much as their stomach from their laughter, only able to cheer at that moment, “Akane-kun!”
He gazes down at her, his face unreadable, but completely lacking the same humor they were suffering.
This sober them a little.
But doesn’t rid their face of their overjoyed smile as they push to their feet.
Or deter them from pulling the boy to them in a squeezing hug.
“Thank you, Akane-kun,” they tell him wholeheartedly, burying their tinge of embarrassment and their face in his chest.
“All better?” He scoffs, sour as ever with them, but the returning of their hug tells them he’s not too angry with them.
“More than better,” they reply, not wanting to move from his embrace.
It’s nice.
However, they part after a moment.
They look up at him.
He looks down at them.
“So- uh, what…”
They feel a small smile tugging at their lips again.
“What happened to your glasses this time?”
Akane blinks at this, reaching up to pay his face.
“Shit.”
-
“Geez, you left your stuff, your glasses, your wallet- Did you seriously drop everything just to be my knight in shining armor?”
(Y/n), in return for Akane’s help, had decided to help him looking around for said glasses, which he said he was pretty sure fell off in one of the halls on his way up to the roof.
They’re chatting the boy up absently as their eyes scan the floor, searching, “I mean, I can’t thank you enough, Prince Charming, but aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?”
He doesn’t respond.
“Sounds like a pretty big gamble if you ask me,” they comment, just as their eyes catch something out of the usual.
“Says you.”
“Says me!” They agree, grinning as they hastily scamper over the lockers, “The one who just found your glasses!”
They swoop down, easily plucking them from the floor.
Turning towards the windows across from the lockers, they hold them up to the sunset pouring into the hall, drenching the school in expensive shades of gold.
However, as they scan the glasses for insult to injury…
Their source of light is suddenly blocked, making them press further back against the lockers in surprise, finding a forearm next to their head, making a racket.
Akane is staring them down, chestnut eyes narrowed.
“Easy, Akane-kun,” they tease, a grin finding their features as they fold the glasses, lowering them to their chest due to the small space between them, due to the fact he was kabedonning them all of the sudden, much to their amusement as they warn, “You might kiss me next.”
“Wanna bet?” He challenges them, taking his glasses from their hands with his free one.
Thinking he’s joking, they comment.
“I’ve got a coin.”
But it becomes very apparent that (Y/n) isn’t going to need a coin for this stupid bet.
Their heart flutters, but they waste no time pulling him closer by tangling their arms around his neck, kissing him right back.
But Akane pulls back very little, breathing into the minuscule room between them.
“You’re so stupid…”
He was right.
“Maybe, but you’re the idiot who kissed that guy on the lips,” they murmur, positively smirking as they inform him, “If we were looking for loopholes, he didn’t specify the kiss was on the lips either.”
Akane huffs, “Shut up.”
(Y/n) does, promptly shutting themself up again with another heated kiss.
Gambling problem or not, at the end of the day- this day- they were very firm in the belief that all their issues were paying off.
Big time.
366 notes · View notes
nellie-elizabeth · 3 years
Text
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: One World, One People (1x06)
Oof, okay, so I obviously enjoyed watching this, but I do have some things I would like to discuss.
Cons:
The biggest one is honestly about Isaiah. I understand that this is a superhero show, and there's some cheesiness baked into the very concept of it. I like the idea of a triumphant ending for our heroes, where amends are made and everyone is brought some measure of peace. BUT, I feel like a more nuanced, more true to reality ending here with Isaiah might have been different. Maybe he gives a tip of the hat to Sam, says he's happy he's found his peace, but he still doesn't agree with his choices. See, the thing is, some people who have been hurt by systems want that system to acknowledge its mistake, to apologize, to make amends. That's what Sam is pushing for. He believes we can do better, and all that. And that's a wonderful perspective. But other people who have been hurt by systems might not want anything to do with that system ever again. At the end, when Sam sets up the part of the museum for Isaiah, he says "now everyone will know what you did for this country," and Isaiah seemed pleased and touched by this. But I couldn't help but think... he was forced into doing those things, and then punished for doing them. If he'd decided he didn't want acknowledgment, didn't want to be linked to the idea of American heroism... I couldn't blame him for that. It might have added more nuance to the ending. Sam could have even said that it's okay if he and Isaiah don't agree on the best way forward, they still have mutual respect, or whatever.
As a white lady, maybe I'm off base. I'm just really curious at what the reaction is going to be. All through watching this show I kept saying to myself that an ending where Sam takes up the shield and becomes Captain America can't stand on its own. There's got to be nuance. There's got to be some good justification for it. And as I'll talk about in a moment, I think they've done an okay job... but I also wouldn't be surprised to find some people enormously dissatisfied with this conclusion. Steve Rogers handed the shield to Sam, yes. But should we forget what he did before handing it over? Well, he walked away from the government and was on the run because he didn't respect their choices. Just some food for thought.
I also just want to say: ????? to that ending for John Walker? It was so bizarre to see the light banter moment between him and Bucky after Walker had quoted Lincoln. Like... that felt so out of place. And now he's being made into an American agent? I don't understand that random lady's role in events. I don't know if I'm supposed to think it's sinister and creepy as fuck that John still has a uniform, and even the suggestion of authority (I do think it's creepy as fuck, for the record), or if I'm supposed to be... pleased that he got a new job? Just, tonally, the stuff with Walker in this finale was all over the place. He didn't seem to really matter, and yet he was still there, and the episode didn't seem able to reckon with his presence.
Oh, also, I can totally respect a bit of ham-fisted politic in a show like this. It's really the only way to do it. But Karli saying that Lamar didn't matter, and John saying "you think Lemar's life didn't matter?" was, perhaps, a little on the nose. I'm not sure I like the BLM mouthpiece being blond haired blue eyed John Walker, especially when Lemar's death, at least as a narrative function, only happened to allow John to get sad and angry about it. Where's his wing in the museum, huh?
Also Sharon Carter, she's my girl or whatever, but I gotta admit she was kind of boring to me in this whole series. I wanted more from her. The reveal that she was the Power Broker had me shrugging. I wanted to be more shocked, but she was so clearly telegraphed as being fishy from minute one. The fact is, we haven't had enough time with this character to figure out who she actually is as a person, yet. I don't understand her, and that's a shame.
Pros:
That was a long "cons" section, especially for an episode that kept me riveted the whole way through!
First off, the action was exciting and different and had so many classic "superhero moments" while not totally abandoning a more grounded feel. Sam holding the car up was such a Moment. Also the "that's Black Falcon!" "No, that's Captain America" moment was so cheesy but exactly the right kind of cheesy, you know? We got to see everyone being a bad-ass, crowds applauding, Sam's fantastic entrance with the new suit, the wings, the shield... damn. It was all cool in the way the best Marvel products need to be.
So, Sam taking the shield. I think it works because of his speech to the politicians. Specifically calling out the power they have, and the people they have in the room with them when they make the decisions that will affect so many people. There's this wonderful moment when one of the politicians asks a legitimate question: what about people who came back after the snap to find someone else living in their house? It's so complicated. And as the show ends, we're not given a simple answer. Sam merely points out the miracle of having everyone fighting the same fight for once. These rich and powerful people have had no idea how impossible it can be, and now they're getting a taste of that. There might just be the power of equalizing in all of this.
And most important to me? The government didn't hand Sam the shield. Sam took it and took ownership of it on his own terms. Think back to the legacy of Steve and the shield, honestly. Yes, he was given it by the government, but then he stole it when he ran away, then he gave it up, then Tony gave it back to him... it's a lot more complicated than it might first appear. Nobody's going to argue that the shield was Steve's to give, and he gave it to Sam, and Sam took it for his own. That made it work for me, as a direct contrast to the way in which John Walker got his hands on it.
Karli's death was inevitable and tragic. While I never cared all that much for her character as an individual, she worked quite well as a symbol. Sam points this out in his speech as well. Hasn't anyone stopped to wonder why people believed in this cause so much they were willing to die for it? That matters. It means something. And more will follow. I appreciate that the show ends on an ambiguous note. The people in power are still the people in power. And yes, their decision has been postponed. They've decided not to relocate people and replace the borders immediately. But what is the long-term solution? How does the world begin to heal? Well, we don't know. We don't get to see that.
If anyone got short shrift in this finale it was Bucky, but I'm honestly okay with that for a couple of reasons. One, this is Sam's show and I'm happy that it stayed that way. And two, we saw Bucky's emotional arc come to a head in last week's episode. The work isn't done, but he knows what the work is that he has to do, and we see him start to do that. He gives the journal up to his therapist. A way of letting go of his guilt, but also of saying goodbye to Steve in a way that can give him some actual closure. He confesses to his friend Yuri what really happened to his son.
And more than all of that, he shows up to hang out with Sam and his family. He brings cake. He goofs off with the kids. He hugs his friend, his partner, Sam Wilson. I can see Bucky coming to peace with some things. Coming into his own. It breaks my heart that we don't get to see more of that play out on screen. The show had to make a choice about whose story to prioritize, and in my opinion it made the right choice. This was a show about Sam's journey and Sam's decision here at the end was the capstone of that.
That scene at the end, though... the kids hanging off of Bucky's metal arm was such a poignant image for me, because this man is a killing machine, was designed to be so, but has remade himself into something else, and this moment really showcased that. Also, that gay-ass ending of Sam and Bucky looking out over the water together and then strolling away, Sam's arm around Bucky? Thank you for my life, Disney, I guess. And we got Bucky calling Sam "Cap," and his obvious admiration and pride in him for his speech... I just love them, y'all. I really do.
I wouldn't say anything about this show broke the mold or made me really excited about Marvel again. I enjoyed it, because I already liked Sam and Bucky, and I got to spend more time with them. I was nervous about how they were going to navigate certain political stickiness, and honestly I think they did... an okayish job. I could have wished for them to go even further, but they didn't take the easy way out, in my opinion.
I hope they make more of this someday. Regardless, I'm not ready to say goodbye to Sam Wilson or Bucky Barnes, so I hope we get to see Captain America and the White Wolf grace our screens again in some project or other!
8.5/10
6 notes · View notes
gothic-safari-clown · 3 years
Text
The Mind’s Power Over the Body
Part 8: Acceptance
Story summary: They only ever had each other. It had been that way since high school, ever since Elianna transferred to dreary Arlen and took Jonathan under her wing. They go separate ways for college, and when they're reunited at Arkham Asylum professionally, Elianna comes to find that they've both changed during their time separated. Can she look past the promise of danger and stay by Jonathan's side as they slide further and further into the darkness while she grapples to come to terms with the truth about herself? Can she accept what needs to be done in order to hold onto the only person who holds any meaning in her life? This is a very self-indulgent AU that draws from several different canons of the DCU and ignoring others, starting in the Batman Begins Nolanverse. This will follow the plot of the movie, although the timeline has been very slightly tweaked.
Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven
Word count: 1986
Minutes after Jonathan left, Elianna was still staring at the wall, unable to think about anything other than the sudden and jarring conversation. She couldn't help but feel astounded that she had even agreed to what he was suggesting. Why would I do that? If she hadn't accepted his proposal, would he have gone along with the plan on his own? And what would have become of had she refused?
Her clock glared at her from its place mounted on the wall, reminding her that she didn't even have the distraction of a session to rush to. Damn it. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...
Finally forcing herself into action, El gathered all of her files and situated herself on the floor with them, playing music on her smartphone to help her focus. She ended up with papers stacked around her as she reorganized all of her files in an attempt to occupy her mind with something—anything—else. Honestly, there hadn't been anything wrong with the previous system in the first place, and now she was just surrounded by mess as she reshuffled the notes in each folio to justify her decision.
Two hours later, her office was spotless, and she had gone through at least three new filing systems. With nothing left to do for an hour, she found herself still sitting on the floor against her desk, desperately trying to unwind her conflicting feelings over the new situation.
She knew that she should care about the moral implications of her decision, but the more she thought, the more she realized that she just...didn't. Not for lack of trying. For God's sake, Scarecrow had gotten Jonathan to kill his granny when they were teenagers, and she hadn't even questioned it. The old woman did have it coming, just like she had thought earlier that morning, but did that way of thinking make her a bad person? She had never been one for philosophy.
And now, when the opportunity presented itself to exact horrible, torturous revenge on Victor Zsasz, she had taken it without even fully thinking through the consequences. She hadn't even been able to through her confusion. If it comes down to it, which seems likely, can I take a life the way that Jonathan did? Do I even want to?
Yes. She did. Each thing that she came to realize about herself sent El spiraling into a new set of questions. When had she become this person? Had she always been like this, keeping busy to avoid confronting that reality?
She couldn't tell how much time passed as she took inventory of herself until finally, another look at the clock told Elianna that her first session began in ten minutes; today, she had been scheduled a series of low profile patients to be seen in her office. Sighing, she finally lifted herself off the floor. She would have time to re-evaluate her life later. For now, she needed to get to work.
.xXx.
"In my opinion, Mr. Zsasz is as much a danger to himself as to others, and prison is probably not the best environment for his rehabilitation," Jonathan spoke into the mounted microphone on the stand with steady resilience. It was getting difficult for him to ignore Scarecrow, who had become practically giddy from the anticipation of getting to "play" with the newest batch of the toxin. He was almost exploding, insisting that Elianna would finally give in to her dark side.
Both Jonathan and Scarecrow had known that it was there for a long time. Jonathan had had his suspicions when he had told her about Scarecrow for the first time, and she had accepted it, and they had been confirmed after Granny's "accident," when she had helped them cover it up and had stuck around to boot.
At a glance, someone less close to the situation would say it was denial (which she was good at, apparently), but she had no qualms talking about it when the topic came up; she simply didn't care about most things that she should. She had somehow managed to convince everyone else—including herself—that she did, and that was the part that mattered.
The trial ended quickly after Jonathan's testimony. Falcone had already paid off the judge to rule in favor of whatever Jonathan said, and the rest was just formality. As such, he had already filled out all of the appropriate paperwork for the admission and transferred the deranged man to his care.
Finally, it was over, and Jonathan was on his way to the parking lot to make it back to the asylum when he was stopped by the most irritatingly incorruptible person on the planet.
"Doctor Crane," Rachel Dawes's voice rang through the courthouse lobby. Unable to ignore her, Jonathan paused to look at her, barely breaking his gait, suddenly needing to focus extra hard on keeping Scarecrow under control; he hated her as much as Jonathan did, possibly more.
"Miss Dawes," he acknowledged, having nothing else to say. That was passable as polite, wasn't it?
"You think a man who butchered people for the mob and attacked an innocent woman doesn't belong in jail?" Right to the point with this one, always so straightforward. Ambitious. If she would only take advantage of the ample opportunities that the city provided, she might even be able to make something of herself. Unfortunately for her, she didn't have the drive.
We don't need her sniffing around, Jonny. Let me take care of this now.
Not a chance, keep quiet.
"I would hardly have testified to that otherwise, would I?" Politeness be damned, the insufferable woman could chalk it up to a bad day if she wanted, just as long as she didn't notice the distaste rolling off of him in waves.
"This is the third of Falcone's thugs you've had declared insane and moved to your asylum, and the fourth time you've done so for Zsasz individually." Dear Lord, was she implying that he was corrupt? In Gotham? Never. Impossible.
"It isn't my fault if our security officers have yet to discover his means of escape. As for the rest, the work offered by organized crime must have an attraction to the insane." There, a safely noncommittal answer, and one that held basis in fact too. He turned to leave, having just about reached his limit with the conversation.
"Or the corrupt," Dawes's heels clicked on the floor as she took a few steps after him before he stopped in his tracks again. So she wasn't implying anything, just outright accusing him. Jonathan ignored Scarecrow's outraged (and far from empty) threats and caught sight of Dawes's boss in his periphery. A little childish perhaps, resorting to involving her higher-ups, but at this point, he was willing to shoot himself in the foot to avoid continuing this tiresome discussion. Interrogation, more like.
"Mister Finch," the suited man looked at the sound of his name. "I think you should check with Miss Dawes here just what implications your office has authorized her to make." That captured his attention; Finch's brows raised as he aimed a pointed look in the direction of the woman in question. "If any." That should do it.
I'm gonna get our hands on that one. Pick her brain and spit in it.
There's something we can agree on.
.xXx.
As desperate as Elianna had been for any kind of distraction earlier, each of her sessions had been more boring than the last. She was still of the opinion that people with simple anxiety disorders didn't belong in an asylum; she had half a mind to sign them all out and send them back into the world. But until she learned more, she had to operate under the assumption that they had each been admitted for a worthwhile reason; but the second she was shown any sign of real-world competence, she would sign all of them out to keep them from taking up any more space. God, what's wrong with me today?
Before she could ponder on her behavior any further, a knock on her door signaled Jonathan's return, and she let him in quickly.
"So it's...you did it then?" She asked, still unsure of how to address the situation.
"He'll be transferred back in by tomorrow."
It was done. At this point, all she could do was trust in the combined efforts of Jonathan and Scarecrow to keep her safe with some...foolproof evil plan. No matter how much she tried, she hadn't been able to bring herself to feel guilty for wanting revenge; she couldn't help feeling justification in her decision, and it was clearly justified in Jonathan's as well, and really who else mattered in this scenario? Zsasz? Certainly not.
"Okay. Well, are you alright? You seem tense." Jonathan rolled his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head.
"Everything is fine, just this...tedious woman from the DA's office tried to give me some trouble, but it's taken care of. I, ah," he checked the time on the clock, "I just need to go finish some paperwork, and then we can go back home and talk about this some more."
"Sounds good. I'm almost done here myself; when I'm finished, do you want some help?" She offered, and he seemed almost grateful for it.
"If you don't mind, I wouldn't say no."
"M'kay, then I'll see you later. Oh, wait, actually," Jonathan looked at her expectantly, unsure of what exactly she was bringing to his attention. "How often would you say security looks at the footage from our offices?" Good god that made him worry. What now?
"...Can I ask why you want to know?" She looked embarrassed, and any ideas he had had of her doing something that might incriminate them went out the window. Dear God, what now?
"I...may have been sitting on the floor for a long time today." She said sheepishly, and Jonathan pinched his eyes closed briefly before casting his gaze up, fully exasperated by the fact that she had found that important enough to bring it up right then. "And I'm a little embarrassed about it." Scarecrow, on the other hand, found it hilarious whenever El caused him even the slightest bit of undue stress.
"It's fine; they really only review the footage from sessions. I doubt anyone will even know." Elianna seemed relieved and nodded, a tiny smile at the corners of her mouth. "You still sit on the floor when you're worked up?"
"It helps me think," came the defensive response, and Jonathan gave her a look that said that he would tease her about it later, and finally turned to go.
Jonathan left her office for the second time that day. Only this time, she had finally realized that her conflicted feelings from before were due entirely to outside influence. For as long as she could remember, she had found it impossible to feel truly concerned about the things that mainstream society seemed to want her to be. Why should she try to force herself into a box that she didn't fit in? She could at least try to keep her mind open to revenge.
Elianna's hesitant resignation to her anticipation for revenge began to chase away any confused reservations that she had had before and gradually replaced them with a hazy excitement bubbling under the surface.
9 notes · View notes
kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years
Text
Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) (Full Series)
Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader
Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.
Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol
Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.
Warnings: mentions of murder, blood, brief mentions of torture but not for long, almost dying, sadness, trying to find your place?, pit madness, this entire series had some angst ngl
Word Count: 21151
Tumblr media
        Growing up was a lot different for you than anyone else. For the first part of your life, you grew up in a perfect little family with a stable living condition and happy atmosphere. What happened later was easy to explain in all theory. There was a drunk driver and it didn’t end to well for your parents. With no remaining family, you were thrown into the foster care system and rotated around homes until finally one day, a strange woman came in with a smiley demeanor and was walking around the orphanage that you were in looking around when her eyes landed on you. You stared before she approached you. During your time in the system, you met tons of different people. Most were good, but some were bad. Those bad people had two different personalities around different people and you recognized it easily. This time however, it was different. You knew she was bad, but not anything that you were really scared of.
        “You’re not who you say you are.” You whispered to her softly.
        She smiled in a way telling you were right. A few months after that encounter, she came back again. This time however, you were going with her. She took you to a hotel room after a short and quiet drive. That was when she finally started talking.
        “My name is Talia, you will address me as such.” She said, “I’m going to take you to a place far away from here where you will train to become one of the most lethal of your kind.” “I expect only obedience. If I do not get this, you will be punished. Now, do you understand?”
        “Yes Talia.” You replied carefully.
        “What is your preferred name?” Talia asked.
“Y/N.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        From then on, you were trained and taught with the best tutors alive. Not that they wanted to without a bit of persuasion and after your lessons, along with Damian’s, Talia’s birth son, they mysteriously disappeared. You knew what happened to them however. It was pretty easy to guess even for the most stupid person. Besides, you had to kill one yourself in the past.
        You were a quiet person and took well to Talia. She saw you as one of her own. That was high praise coming from someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone at a wrong glance. Your training came from her and only the top members of the League. Anyone else was seen as too easy or below even your own level of skill. That’s how it always was. You always avoided too much conversation with Damian when you were young and merely tolerated him for the most part. You saw him as a begrudging equal in power and standing. You were liked more secretly since you weren’t one to be overly proud or bold in talking about where you stood. In fact, the most you did was command and fight. You saw no point in boasting on positions of power. It was a useless waste of time and a means to get yourself killed.
        On days you got time off, even if It was for a few minutes, you were always found in the quietest parts of the base. Whether that was your room or any kind of gardens, you would be found there. Talia always knew where you were because of this.
        “I expect you are prepared for the next mission Y/N?” She asked walking to you one morning after training.
        “As always Talia.” You said standing to greet her.
        She sat down with you for only a little bit and the conversation was brief.
        “I’ve noticed you’ve been lost in thought recently.” She noted, “What matter is this over?”
        You were shocked. It wasn’t everyday Talia showed any kind of emotion like this. Maybe tiny, tiny gestures after successful missions that you had led, but not much other than that.
        “I’ve just been thinking of the success of my upcoming mission. I need to know that these certain recruits are not going to jeopardize the mission. While they aren’t new, I have an instinct they will prove unfit for this kind of work.”
        “I understand. Measures will be taken if they prove useless.” Talia assured, “All concerns aside, you are needed prepared and ready. If not, the roll of leader will be given elsewhere.”  
        “You should not concern yourself with me, I will be fully capable of leading a squad myself.” You stood, “it is time for me to leave however.”
        The mission was going fine until now. You were right about the recruits. When they messed up, you immediately jumped into action killing who they missed. In this process, you were drenched in rain water and blood. No one had ever seen you this furious. This is why you were leader, you were the only one that knew what to do in times of stress and how to punish those who wronged the goal of the missions.
        “You fools!” You shouted in the ship, “You had the perfect chance and did not take it! Your assignments were simple for a reason and you almost jeopardized the entire assignment over a bit of rain!” “I have finished missions nearly dead and you incompetent idiots couldn’t kill four people.” “When we get back to the base, you should be expecting punishment accordingly.”
        The rest of the ride was dead silent but for your second in command and yourself discussing matters of the mission in a different language. It wasn’t a long flight and by the time you were back, you were still soaked. Brushing a piece of wet hair that was just now starting to curl once more, you approached Talia, who was being trailed closely by Damian who almost stepped back by the look you had on your face.
        “What happened?” Talia demanded glaring for a quick second at the questionable recruits.
        “The mission was almost jeopardized by the recruits that I raised concern about. They put unnecessary risks onto the table and missed the simple instructions they were assigned.” You narrowed your eyes some, “I took care of what they couldn’t.” “The mission was successful.”
        “Very well. Hit the showers and meet me in the briefing room in 40 minutes.” Talia said.
        “Understood.” You walked passed her and Damian, only stopping to acknowledge him for a few seconds, “Damian.” You said nodding.
        “Y/N.” You were the only one that could address him as his first name besides Talia and The Demon Head and you were the only one he’d use a first name for.
        You continued down the hallway and a few more before making into another sector of the building that you stayed. Those in high ranking had their own bathrooms such as you and Talia. It was seen as a sign of respect and designation from the rest. You walked into your bedroom, smaller as they tended to be and grabbed your change of clothes. This is what you normally wore around the complex if you weren’t going on missions. It was as simple as a black suit with straps for weapons and a place for your swords. Other than that, it was nothing special. It was against code to wear any kind of sleep wear outside of your room.
_______________________________________________________________________
        While on your way back from the briefing room, you decided to take a detour to the roof tops where you stayed sometimes. The view was incredible at night and the stars shown brighter than you’d seen anywhere else. There was a cool breeze up there and the occasional glimpse of the nightly patrol off in the distance. You were alone for most of the time and became captive to your own thoughts running wild. That didn’t mean you didn’t hear the footsteps behind you though.
        “What brings you to the roof?” You asked to the figure not even turning around.          
        You knew it was Damian just by how he walked. It typically took a few minutes for the two of you to drop your guard, even in the slightest, however it was the only time you could.
        “I wanted some fresh air and figured you’d be here. I am pleased to find that I was not incorrect in my thinking.” He replied sitting next to you.
        “I’m flattered.”
        The sarcastic tone of your comment led a smirk onto Damian’s face.
        “You looked abnormally angry after today’s assignment.” He commented, “I was surprised to see you so...”
        “Covered head to toe in blood and rain?”
        “Precisely.”
        “Well, that would not have happened if there was not a reason for it to. By all means, sometimes, I expect there to be mistakes. I also expect there to be repercussions. But if you cannot even finish off the simplest of tasks, you are by all means an absolute incompetent fool.” “I could have done that as a young child.”
        “I noticed you seemed to be less than pleased when recruits were assigned on Monday.” Damian said, “I presumed it was something to do with those individuals.”
        “Correct.”
        There was some silence between the two of you. Some night up on the rooftops, there were no conversations. You two acknowledged each other’s presence and continued on your way, minding your own business, and ultimately being comfortable in each other’s company. However, tonight you had something else in mind.
        “Has Talia been acting strangely more... emotional? In a positive way I think.” You asked him, “I thought it might have just been me, but with some more conversation with her earlier this morning, I suspect something must be wrong.”
        “I have noticed that. I am sure that there is nothing too terribly wrong to fear. Grandfather has had no change in his demeanor... That said, he is more seasoned to conflict.” Damian remarked, “You do get more information on matters on occasion with your status.”
        “I know, that’s why I’m concerned.” “I don’t want to be caught in the middle of some war or whatever the case may be. Besides, I have my real assignment which is watching over you. I don’t need anything getting in the way of why I’m supposedly really here.”          
        “You are aware that your “only job” isn’t just to be my protector or however my mother worded when we were young children. You’re also one of most commanding and powerful people I’ve ever met. Your position was well placed in your hands and it is well taken care of by you.” Damian commented.
        “High praise coming from the grandson of The Demon Head.” You almost let a smile slip onto your face at what he said.
        “I don’t remember a day where you weren’t there in some way.” He said, “Whether that was to scold me for being too proud of my bloodline or just making sarcastic remarks about anything you could.” He smirked, “Not that I didn’t fire back.”
        “Mhmm. Talia, as much as she doesn’t want to admit it was extremely amused when I used to talk like that to you. Although, she denies it every time now.” You thought back to the days when you and Damian used to bicker about everything. You were always secretly the more serious one no matter how much he wanted to keep that up. For you, there was no family line to fall back on. You only had your reputation and especially here, that was easy and dangerous to damage.
        “What do you think is going on?” He asked, “If there is anything wrong, one of us, if not both will know within the next few weeks at most.”
        “I don’t really know. I think that it might be something internal. The Demon Head and Talia might be about to sweep the lower and middle ranks for traitors or those less competent. They might even take the upper ranks. Just watch your back.”
        “As always.”
        You looked back out at the view looking at the mountain tops, inspecting each and every one that you could see. The snow gleamed in pale moonlight and every once in a while, you’d possibly see a shooting star go by. When training wasn’t underway and most everyone was asleep, the compound was one of the most peaceful places you’d ever been. You caught yourself yawning and suddenly a wave of exhaust washed over you.
        “How long has it been since you slept properly?” Damian asked noticing right away your shift in demeanor.
        “Maybe four days at best. It was just the mission preparations. I’ll be fine, besides, training for me in the morning is not until later. I’ll have time to sleep longer.” You stood back up, “I am going to head back to my room now. However, I do expect to see you at sparring tomorrow?”
        “I will be there.”
        With that, you hopped down the roof top and left back for your room. You knew he’d follow shortly after you, it was customary for him to after some alone time. That always helped with anything he was dealing with since he rarely ever got it. That’s the unspoken worst part about being in the positions you two were in. There was never any time to yourselves.
End Post
_______________________________________________________________________
Second Start Part
        You walked around the squad that you were assigned to watch over this morning. It was an easy viewing as you picked out each mistake that was made by the fighters. The objective of this time was to make improvements in skills where needed in the time that you were waiting for Damian to arrive for sparing. Now that you were older, the two of you trained outside almost to set an example for the rest of the members in lower ranks. It was almost a shaming method as well. Look at these two teenagers, they are years ahead of you in skill and training.
        A few minutes of this routine had passed. You were getting tired of no action yourself. Damian must have been attending to some private matters since he was never late. Talia made sure of that for one part. Eventually, the mood shifted into something even more serious and focused and you knew that he had entered the training grounds.
        “How kind of you to finally show up.” You said drawing your sword.
        “I had previous arrangements to attend to.” Damian returned taking his own sword in hand.
        “An eventful morning for the demon.”
        “Indeed, it was General.”
        You could tell that there were eyes on you the entire time that the two of you were training. It wasn’t uncommon but for the longest time, it took a while to get used to in the start of this newer training environment. Eventually you did get very accustomed to it and started playing harder. It was important to look like you really had the best training and grasp of what you were doing. Otherwise you were a bigger target. That was something you didn’t want under any circumstances. Damian didn’t mind. Instead, he seemed to like the challenge you presented. It wasn’t often in the field he ever got any sort of action like this. It was pretty typical for take downs to be easy, child’s play really. At least, that’s what he liked to think of it.
        For what started feeling like hours, you and Damian trained along with the rest of the recruits. It was sweltering hot outside. The sun’s heat beat down on everyone there without any sign of stopping. The cloudless sky offered no shelter from the rays either. You finally defeated Damian for the last time. Your fights would go until the other slipped up and then they’d start over until you both new that it was time to leave.
        “You haven’t heard anything about strange happenings or something of concern of late have you?” You asked entering the building.
        “No, I didn’t. Today was a common briefing of training and education. I anticipate you will have a meeting with mother at a later time over the same subjects.” Damian replied as the two of you turned into a different hallway heading to the cafeteria, “Mother was acting strange this morning however. I do not know if it has to do with our shared concerns.”
        You didn’t say anything, instead you just nodded before the two of you entered the giant room that everyone sat and ate in. There were different rooms situated inside for different ranks but mostly everyone sat together. It was difficult to escape the people which was something that was meant to be established but for the top players. They stuck together. That’s another reason why you and Damian were so close.
        “I want you to sit with me today instead of with the other group.” Damian said as the two of you took what you wanted for lunch and walked to where he and his mother always sat and ate. Talia was to be late today because of matters she was handling by herself. You two sat in silence for some time.
        “The recruits seemed ... mostly normal for the decent part of today.” You said, “In other words, there have been no red flags of anything internal. I walked around the entirety of the grounds to check.”
        “Maybe Mother and Grandfather are planning something that will just be sudden.” Damian pondered out loud, “We most likely won’t have to worry about it.”
        “It will probably affect me more than you.” You commented, “I’m pretty certain that you’d be safer when it came to some mass elimination scheme.”
        “You should be confident in your place among the League.”
        “I am, I just know that things can change at the random.” “That’s what makes it exciting around here.” “You know, other than the constant threat of being killed.”
        Damian spared you a smirk at the comment but nothing else. You saw it and knew he understood for some part.
        “Where is your next mission?” He asked.
        “It’s to Italy.” “I should only be gone for two, maybe three days at most.” “It’s basic kill a diplomat here, a politician there kind of mission before you ask.”
        Damian cocked a brow, “How did you know I’d ask?”         “You always do al Ghul.”
        “That is the one part of your training and job that I envy.”
        “And that is?” You asked.
        “You get to go and actually do things outside of the League’s headquarters and fight.” He answered simply.
        “Don’t let your mother hear that.” You chuckled only a bit to yourself.
        It was only in times like these or even just only on the roof tops that you’d ever let yourself crack a smile or make anything close to a joke. It was the only time you’d actually be even a sliver of yourself around someone. That is, whatever of yourself was left from all of these years spent here. You thought that what you did was important. It kept your branch of the League together even. Assigned to watch over Damian and be his right hand, that is what you defined yourself by. It was always position to you. Whether you liked it or not, this wasn’t the place to be friendly or all that different from the rest besides in skill and ruthlessness.
        “We’d better get to our class.” You said breaking the silence that came between you two.
        Damian stood up followed by you and the two of you headed to your tutoring session. It wasn’t long before this was over, in fact today was probably the last you’d see your teacher alive.
_______________________________________________________________________
        The tutor seemed to know just as well as you and Damian that this was their last day probably seeing the light of day. The room that the two of you were seated in was a well- lit room with only a table and large chalk board. You could practically feel the nervous energy that your tutor was radiating today. It got worse and worse every day leading up to it. You almost wanted to feel bad for him but you didn’t. That’s where you sometimes come to question the League. It was always taught in some lessons that it was human nature to be compassionate and not disassociate from others. People were supposed to need and feel for each other. You didn’t though. The League made sure of that very quickly.
        The lesson was quick, you didn’t really care much about what the tutor was saying. It was mainly just an overview of what you and Damian had learned. You two exchanged looks at the end of the session before walking out of the room. Talia was there with another recruit. You knew what the other was there to do when he walked into the room you were just in, you didn’t know however why Talia was there.
        “Y/N, I need to speak with you about your upcoming mission.” She said.
        You nodded goodbye to Damian before leaving with Talia.
        “I trust that your lessons were more than suitable?” She asked.
        “Correct, they were of desirable level.” You replied walking by her side.
        “Good. Now about this mission.” Talia turned a corner and into a room before shutting the door behind you, “This isn’t just another simple mission.” “The diplomats that you’re targeting will have highly trained security teams. You must choose the right moment to strike which I’d like to think you might be able to do from your training. Make sure there is as little of security as possible. After you accomplish stage one, move your squad onto stage two of killing the others and then return as soon as possible.” “Any questions? This should be standard by now.”
        “Understood.” You nodded.
“In addition, with the success of your past few missions, it has been decided that you will be elevated into a newer status of High General. Still by the same title, you have more tasks and control over your own squads. I do expect that you will handle this well. You start after your mission with the same schedule. However, you will be training more in the middle ranks.”
“Thank you, I am honored.” You said sincerely before cocking a brow, “However, I must ask since it has been troubling me for the past few days. Is there anything that I should be expecting that will happen? Are there any sweeping of the ranks that I should know about?”
        “I see that you must have picked up on something.” Talia said, “This is confidential information. I am only sharing this with you because of your status and position. There have been concerns raised of an attack from outer forces. We have not figured out which ones yet, you should not concern yourself with that yet. However, the only thing besides your mission and daily tasks you should be concerned with, is the safety of my son, the heir to the League. There is no true telling information on what will happen so keep on your highest guard.”
        “Yes Talia.”
        There was a pause that filled the room. You knew that there was something else.
        “General. That is the position you have been given. That is not however your only job.” Talia started, “Your main, most important job is to be my son’s second hand. If something were to ever happen to myself or The Demon Head, I fully expect you to stay with Damian over everything. Do not make me regret my decision in picking you off the ground of that orphanage.”
        “My loyalties are well placed Talia. I stay with him until death just as I was assigned from the start of this all. As High General, as the Demon’s second, you have my word.”
Eventually, you left. The rest of the day was ahead of you and tomorrow, you’d be suiting up for Italy. Ready to leave the League even for a mission, you were antsy the rest of the day. Not enough for notice as usual though. Damian knew however. He could tell that your game was a bit off since this morning. He could tell that you were either anticipating more than what you gave off, or you were preparing yourself for this next mission a bit too much.
_______________________________________________________________________
        That night he confronted you as the two of you sat on the rooftop.
        “You were off of your game today Y/N.” Damian said almost catching you off guard.
        “So, I was.”
        “What caused this rarity?”
        “I am just ready to start my mission. I have a brewing feeling that it should go over very well.” You answered, “That is what Talia wanted to discuss with me earlier today.”
        “It was just this and nothing else?” Damian cocked his brow suspiciously.
        “Correct.” You reassured, “There was nothing else besides talk of schooling. She did inform me that I will be taking the High General position which was gratifying.”
        “You have my congratulations Y/N.” He commended.
        “And you have my appreciation Damian.”
        “The only thing that I did pick up from the conversation wasn’t... much. Just keep on your highest guard.”
        You didn’t bother saying anything else. Watching the stars and then the clouds float by every now and again was enough. It was easy to just stay up there and do nothing. There was no schedule besides having to get at least some sleep that night. There were no recruits training out in the heat. And best of all, it was silent and cool outside. This was the best time and always would be a place of your favorite memories from life.
        “So, do you have any plans of changing your squad?” Damian asked.
        “In what way? My squad is perfectly formed. There shouldn’t be any issues within it. Not unless you’re insinuating that you want to join al Ghul.” You smirked.    
        “No, not at all. I’d rather not be taking orders from my right hand.” He shot back.
        “And I’d rather not be giving orders to one of the most stubborn people I know.”
        “Very funny L/N.”
        “Oh, so we’re on last name status. I must have said something to upset the young Demon.” You poked fun at him as you typically did.
        “You’d like to think you could.”
        “Anyways, regarding your question. I will not be adding or eliminating anyone from my squad unless I find someone in the lower ranks more suitable that can and will advance faster. Nevertheless, I am not actively looking for any new blood as some might call it.”
        “I understand.” Damian stood up to leave, “Will I see you before your mission tomorrow?”
        “Most definitely during breakfast. My team and I are leaving for Italy right after that though.” You answered jumping down from the roof top and onto the pavement below before walking inside, and down a hall until you eventually split from Damian to go to your room.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Part Three Start
        You boarded the jet that was to take you to Italy. Looking back at Damian, the two of you exchanged quick nods and you headed into the cockpit. After a few minutes, the flight had taken off and you were on your way to Italy. As always you had promised to return with a song. It was something that he could have that wasn’t assigned or approved of by his mother. You understood that well. Sitting back, you sighed just a bit and got your mind into the game.
Damian’s POV:
        It wasn’t a rare thing for you to leave on missions. You did every month or so. It was just that things seemed to be even more of a task around the compound. Training’s vigor was more noticeable. Classes were more boring. The food and company were terrible. The list went on and on when you left. It did improve greatly when you came back most of the time however. The rare nights that you got back and were injured were some of the scariest. You took the worst blows for your team. It was what made you the best leader he’d ever met.
        On the nights that Damian saw you being taken to the infirmary practically bleeding out stayed in his nightmares from day one. Talia would try and make him leave since she knew that he typically reacted strongly to it no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He’d worry all night about you until you were back on the training field. The one night he lost it was when you almost died. It was so bad they had to use the pit. He could hear you screaming and knew that you would have rather died. It was a way that the league would torture you. If you messed up, they’d put you in front of a film showing all of your mistakes. After that, you would be nearly dead once they tried to bleed you out and thrown into the pit by yourself. The next day when no one was looking, he pulled you into a massive hug. It’s never been discussed since.
        Now he was alone training. His sparring partner was in Italy on a mission without him. It was too quiet in the room now. Damian’s thoughts ran wild as he imagined what might happen while you were in Italy. He knew that there was something that you knew about this turmoil in the league that you were hiding. He suspected that it was on his mother’s demands. Besides, if it was a serious danger, you would say something. At least, he thought you would.
        Looking up at the clock that was hanging high on the wall, he was taken from his thoughts be the time. Damian picked up his bag and left for his class that he would be late for if he didn’t rush. Talia would never approve of that. Throughout the rest of the day, he was distracted by the thought of your absence. Though, he’d never admit it. Sitting on the rooftop alone was strange. He almost expected you to join him at any moment preferring the comfortable silence and ease that came with you during these times. He found no point in staying much longer since he couldn’t relax and eventually headed to bed early.
Your POV:
        It was night time in Italy. You had scouted the convention and knew all of the points that the targets could get in and out. Going over the plan one last time with your team, you had the map of the building on the desk between everyone.
        “Beta, you take target two, make sure that no one of importance leaves alive.” You had explained, “Regroup at the jet once you’ve finished your task. If you’re not back by the end of the hour, find your own transportation to the compound.” “Is everyone clear on the objective?”
        The group nodded, “Yes General.”
“Good, we will not be having the issues that were with last mission’s assigned team.”
You folded the map and put it into a compartment in your belt before leaving with the rest of the team and splitting up into groups. This mission was going to be easy in all regards. You had entered the dressing room of your target. The rest of the squad was taking care of the security on the outside. Breaking communication was the most important aspect of the starting phase. This way no one would know if anything was going on. You watched the security team of the foreign diplomat. They were in formation even here. Their weapons were advanced but nothing you wouldn’t be able to handle. The song of an American movie played in the background on their phone. You knew it was something from a Disney musical.
“Tightrope!” You thought remembering that you’d never gotten the chance to relay the song to Damian, “Hopefully the timing of the song isn’t ill placed with everything going on behind the curtains.” “Focus Y/N, you’re on a mission, not at a concert.”
Without a moment’s notice, you hit the signal button on your communicator and then threw in a poison dart into all of the guards. There was a sudden clamor as men started dropping. You smirked some seeing the substance work before coming behind the diplomat and ending him with an injection of a stronger substance sure to end him before giving one more dose of a different chemical to insure the death of all.
You saw that your team was finished and packed back up with the team before heading out.
“Report.” You demanded once getting to the jet on the coms.
“Mission was successful, heading to meet up now.” The squads confirmed.
“Well done to all sides.”
Careful to remember the song, you played it on repeat in your mind as you boarded the jet and took off. Ultimately, you were glad to be sleeping in your own bed tonight if you had the chance to sleep after reports were made to Talia and that the team was competent. You wanted to groan thinking about not sleeping tonight. You were bone tired but knew that the show must go on. Otherwise you’d be severely punished. No sleep was better than the pit.
Upon arrival, Talia met you at the landing pad as usual.
“Report.” She said with a better demeanor seeing you not covered head to toe in blood and rain.
“The mission was a success. All parties were taken out without alerting anyone with the approved weapon of choice.” “No intervention from myself was needed.” You said giving a very, very brief rundown before you’d have to relay the entire mission to her later.
“Good. Report to your rooms. General, I expect you in the briefing room in forty minutes.”
“Yes Talia.”
You saw that Damian was coming from down the hallway. He was later than usual but none the less, you were glad to see him. Even if you’d never admit it.
Damian’s POV:
        Damian ran down the hallway upon seeing the jet land. He knew to slow down when the hall would become populated and he’d be exposed so he did. However, the moment that no one was around, he was running again. Damian heard his mother and slowed to a walking pace, taking back his proper stance and commanding look.
        “Yes Talia.” He heard you say before you walked past her and towards him.
        He was glad to see you ... not drenched in blood. From your blood or someone else’s for that matter. You almost glistened in the moon light as you did on the roof tops. Though, he’d never seen you in mission gear like this for some reason. You looked like the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
        “Damian.” You nodded walking to him.
        “Y/N. I am pleased to see you not covered in blood and rain.” He commented smirking just a bit.
        “Very funny demon. The feeling is mutual.” You replied.
        He turned and watched you walk down the hall before going to the roof tops after talking with Talia. Damian knew that you wouldn’t be joining him tonight, however he was ready whenever you did.
_______________________________________________________________________
        That day almost never came. With what you had taken on with the new rank, you were always busy well into the night. Damian hated it. You almost hated it too. You loved the nights on the rooftop. Slowly, you tried to get back on better sleep but tonight you just wanted the stars and the mountains. That was it.
        Over the past few weeks, you had hardly had any time to talk. Even during training for some part was spent with recruits instead of him. You both hated it. For the first time it felt like you were away from a mission but still there. Damian thought that you were too busy for him most of the time so he just didn’t make the attempt to talk to you. You thought that he was going for space for a while so you didn’t push anything. Eventually, you were sick of it though and decided to head to the roof.
        You climbed to the top noticing that Damian was already there. Carefully, you sat next to him, legs hanging off the side of the structure.
        “I assumed you would not come tonight.” He commented.
        “I do not blame you. I’ve been ... extremely busy as of late with this new roll.” You sighed laying down on the roof.
        He didn’t say anything for a little while and just enjoyed being able to relax in a place other than maybe his chamber. You enjoyed the silence for a while before he did finally say something.
        “Did you come back with a song?” Damian asked glancing at you some.
        “As always.” “And do you still want to hear it?”
        “Of course.” He rolled his eyes some at your answer.        
        You started with the song ditching the higher notes as to not be too loud. He knew you could hit them and he knew that you dodged them. He’d heard you before as Talia wanted you to be able to sing for some unknown reason. When you weren’t training as a child or in schooling, you were doing that with a professor. The two of you sat there for a while just admiring the view.
        “I should be going off to bed now.” You said, “I have a lingering feeling tomorrow will be long.”
        “I understand.” Damian stood with you and headed for his bedroom.
        “I expect to see you at afternoon training tomorrow? I don’t have as many responsibilities tomorrow.”
        Damian almost smiled, “Of course.”
        You headed to your room and plopped into the bed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow. No matter how much you couldn’t wait to see Damian more, something told you not to get your hopes up. Before being totally consumed by your thoughts, you drifted to sleep.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Part Four Start
        The sun shinned brightly overhead in the cloudless sky. It was a warm day, nothing unbearable however. A light breeze flew through the training ground as all seemed unusually calm. Everyone was focused on their training. You and Damian were well underway in sparring. You were on your highest guard. The ease of today was not going to throw you off your game. Trusting your instincts, you kept an eye out for anything that was off balance.
        “The only thing besides your mission and daily tasks you should be concerned with, is the safety of my son, the heir to the League. There is no true telling information on what will happen so keep on your highest guard.” You thought about Talia’s words from a few weeks ago, repeating them in your mind, “General. That is the position you have been given. That is not however your only job. Your main, most important job is to be my son’s second hand. If something were to ever happen to myself or The Demon Head, I fully expect you to stay with Damian over everything. Do not make me regret my decision in picking you off the ground of that orphanage.”
        “Is something on your mind?” Damian asked saying the last part softly enough so no one else would hear, “You’re more intense than usual today.”
        “I am fine.” You answered knocking him to the ground before he kicked you down getting the upper hand.
        “You don’t seem it General.”
        You cocked a brow before getting in position to knock him off. The sound of something flying quickly for you caught your attention though. With wide eyes, you saw an arrow. Looking around there were hundreds. Going into a more intense version of a mission mindset, you rolled over taking Damian under you, moving in time as to not be hit by the arrow.
        “Get behind me.” You demanded standing up.
        “Get behind you?” Damian was in disbelief at the look on your face.
        “That’s an order!” You quickly took the man coming for you down, stabbing him in his lower abdomen region before pulling your sword out and killing another assailant, blood splattering on your face much to Damian’s shock.
        Damian looked to where his mother and grandfather was and stopped seeing his grandfather bleeding out on the floor. You saw this too. Kicking into high gear, the words of Talia played faster and louder in your mind taking over all of your thoughts. Everyone not in proper league attire was now a target and threat. You had your route in mind and took it.
        “Fallen is the Ra’s al Ghul.” You said quietly in respect, “I stay till the end.”
        Damian had seen you fight aggressively before. It was amazing to watch. This time though, there was a sense of something that he couldn’t quite pick up. Watching you, he saw you must have planned for this countless numbers of times.
        You nodded at Talia who returned the signal before taking the bow and arrows of the man you just killed and shooting it at anyone who dared to come close, “Follow me.” You ordered
        Running in front of Damian, you took the heavier side of the arrows. You were both in your armor which wouldn’t be susceptible to arrows that easily, you just weren’t taking the chance of it failing though. Once you were out of arrows, you threw the extras at anyone who was in your way. Damian would have found that amusing if you weren’t so serious.
        You ran through the hallway and then down another. Damian didn’t know where you were going but from what he was seeing, it was to the pit. Once you were down the stairs and then hall that would take you to the pit, you stopped and looked around before opening up a hidden door in the wall’s decorative moulding.
        “H-how did you-“
        “No time for questions, get in.” You hissed pulling him in by his wrist before shutting the door      
        You pulled him into another room down the long and confusing hallway maze that was built to get people lost in case they followed this far.
        “Don’t lose me al Ghul.” You commanded running into the middle of the maze before heading out of another secret passage.
        “That’s not the plan General.”
        Once entering the last room, Damian saw the jet that was in the middle of a new room that you’d come into.
        “What is this place?” He asked once you were both in the jet waiting for Talia, “And why don’t I know about it and you do?”
        There was an envelope that was a note from Talia to Bruce incase she died. It was to tell him about you and Damian. Apparently, there was something in there that would convince him that you two were legit. Though, you never asked. When it came to Talia and the birth of Damian, you didn’t ask questions.
        “Answer me Y/N!” he demanded once you didn’t answer as you were busy at the controls.
        “Do not raise your voice at me.” You said in a deep, ominous tone making him blink a few times, “Talia and I knew that one day there might be a time that the compound would be taken over or just attacked. We knew that the league depended on your survival. It was important to have a place that I could take you in case something did happen.” “If she doesn’t show in 10 minutes or we are attacked between that time, I am expected to fly to Gotham City and take you to your father.”
        “You will take me to the Batman?” He almost stated instead of asking.
        “Who else?” You remarked rolling your eyes a bit.
_______________________________________________________________________
        The ten minutes had passed and Talia was flying the jet to Gotham. No one spoke for the first half of the flight. There was too much to think about for conversation. Damian sat in the back as you and Talia took to flying the jet. Night was falling upon the oncoming city. Talia had already contacted Bruce and you were expected shortly.
        “I do not know when I will see you next.” Talia said addressing the both of you, “Stay with Bruce until I come back.”
        In a dialect Damian didn’t understand, Talia spoke to you, “General, I will send updates on occasion. You know your mission.”
        “Yes Talia.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Damian entered the building behind Talia. She was in front of him while you were behind. Damian knew that this was for a reason but he knew better than to say anything. The three of you headed into an elevator and then up a few floors. Talia was determined to be there before Bruce and have the two of you hidden away. Placing you two behind the curtain you stayed silent.
        “You’ve got blood on your jawline.” Damian commented very quietly.
        You looked at him for a second before trying to rub as much of it off as possible before braiding your hair over the spot so that it wouldn’t be seen. There was no reason to cause any more concern than what there would be. The two of you exchanged glances upon hearing Bruce’s voice. You heard Talia talk about her scans and Damian. Bruce obviously didn’t know that he existed. Knowing that that would bother Damian, you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder for a second before the curtain was pulled back.
        “This is your son, Damian and his right hand, Y/N L/N.” Talia said leaving Bruce shocked, “She is not your daughter, I found her in an orphanage when she was a small child. She is however a high general and will not leave Damian’s side.” Talia more demanded than informed the last part.
        Damian walked to his father, “The great Batman... I imagined you taller.”
        You almost rolled your eyes at that one, typical Damian.
        More discussion between Talia and Bruce took place before Damian told her goodbye a last time. She turned to you not really expecting anything but a nod. Instead you repeated what you said on the training field.
        “Fallen is the Ra’s al Ghul.” “I stay till the end.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        Bruce wasn’t much of a talker, you didn’t mind until getting into the Batmoblie. That was going to be a bit more awkward.
        “I’m taking you two back to the manor. I expect you to act civil while I’m on patrol.”
        You nodded thinking Damian might possibly do the same.
        “I’ll drive.” He instead said.
        You tried not to facepalm, instead pinching the bridge of your nose for a second.
        “No.” Batman replied.
        “I know how!” He insisted.
        “I don’t care.”
        Damian got into the front seat with you in the back. You didn’t mind sitting back there if it wasn’t for the constant glares you were getting from Bruce at times. He didn’t trust you and you didn’t blame him. Maybe giving your title and position wasn’t a great idea on Talia’s part. You just weren’t sure anymore. After the entire talk of not killing and rules in the house, you just wanted to arrive and were beyond relived when you finally did. Damian of course asked the more condescending questions once he was in the cave. You found the tech impressive whether it was small or not compared to what you thought. It was very... on brand as some might say. You also didn’t mind just having the one Butler. It made you feel better just be able to be a bit normal and do things yourself.
        Before Bruce was about to get back into the Batmobile you stopped him.
        “I have direct orders from Talia to give this to you.” You passed him the envelope.
        “Thank you.” He raised a brow, “I trust that you are loyal to your position?”
        “I am not high general anymore.” You said making Bruce pause, “Not until or if I return to the league. My only mission now is protecting Damian. Where he goes, I go. Where he stays, I stay. Where he might die, I am prepared and expected to take his place. I am loyal to that.” “It has been this way since I was brought to the league and will stay this way for the rest of our lives.”
        “I respect that.”
        When Bruce left, Alfred took you and Damian up to your rooms. Alfred said little but did reply a “Yes Master Bruce.” Into a comm that he had in his ear. The rooms were right next to each other which was nice. You suspected that was on purpose. Maybe Bruce was going to respect your position. You only had your suit to sleep in. It was a bit ... bloody though. You cursed under your breath in Arabic looking in the mirror and seeing it. That must have been what you were getting looks for besides the intense glares you were given back. You were about to wash your face even if it was just with water and hand soap, as much as that made you cringe, before a knock at your door stopped you.
        You walked to the bedroom door and opened the door revealing Alfred.
        “For tonight, I have only this set of nightclothes from Miss. Barbra Gordon, a family friend. Tomorrow I shall have new clothes for you in a suitable fashion.” He passed you the neatly folded stack of clothes, “There are toiletries in the bathroom under the faucet.”
        “Thank you. It is greatly appreciated.” You said taking the stack from him.
        “You are welcome.” He paused, “If you would prefer, I may be able to arrange a trip with Miss. Gordon and Miss. Brown. They are both heavily involved with the family.” “I have also already informed the young Master Damian that there are three others here. Master Dick, the oldest, Master Jason, and Master Tim. I expect the best behavior from all of them.”
        You knew what he meant by that which was intentional and nodded at his words.
        “That would be suitable.”
        Alfred wished you a goodnight you shut the door, before taking a shower and properly washing your face. The clothes that you were now in were very comfortable. You knew that they were second used but you were used to it. Right now, they reminded you of the nightclothes you wore when you were young and still moving from house to house. You never had proper attire until the league and then even then, that was far from normal. Only on some missions would you wear “normal clothes”.
        Once you were out of the shower, you had gotten into bed. The gold necklace from your parents that Talia had let you keep was still on. You didn’t really want to take it off tonight. While Damian had you, you only really had the necklace as a kind of good luck charm no matter how cliché that might sound to some. Before you could actually get into bed, there was a knock.  You didn’t really know who to expect at this point but weren’t surprised to see Damian.
        “Damian...” You stepped aside to let him inside.
        “L/N, I must address something with you.” He said, “You kept a secret from me. Something that could have ended my life.” “Why?”
        “I gave my word I would.” You answered honestly, “Talia told me-“
        “I don’t care what my mother told you.” He raised his voice some, “You’ve known that this might happen for weeks and didn’t say a word. Grandfather could still be alive if you had said something.”
        “It was on my word, of course I wasn’t going to say anything demon.” You were upset with him now.
        “I don’t care about that! What if something had happened more? You and I both know that the league is probably in shambles right now and you did nothing!”
        “I did everything I was supposed to Damian!” You said making him step back, “What you saw was years of training. Ra’s al Ghul wouldn’t be saved by my words. He knew. Talia knew. I knew that something was wrong. When I told you to keep on your highest guard, I meant it. I said nothing because if I did we’d be in a worse situation now. I take my commands, I take them and I follow through with them. I was not the second hand of your grandfather. I am your second hand. If I was anything different, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You may question as much as you want, however do not dare question my loyalties or actions.”
        “When Talia picked me off of that floor of the orphanage, I gave her my word I’d follow through with anything she told me. I’ve been trained for the worst. I’ve been trained to die for you. So, don’t ever think that you even have any right to judge what I’m doing.” You glared at him waiting for him to speak.
        “Y/N I didn’t know-“
        “Just leave. I don’t want to continue this conversation anymore. If it is still a concern to you, we’ll talk in the morning.”
        You watched him leave and shut the door behind him before falling back onto the bed and passing out from the sudden wave of exhaustion washing over you. No one knew what tomorrow would bring. The only thing you knew was that it was coming like a train ready to run you right over if you weren’t careful.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Part Five Start
        You woke without an alarm with the 4am birds. It was a sound that you weren’t used to. Typically, you’d head down to one of the indoor training rooms and join Damian. It wasn’t unusual for one of you to be a few moments late but after that you’d get breakfast. This time though, you didn’t want to see Damian. You went instead out to the gardens. Instead of really working out or training, you decided that the best thing to do was just sit and meditate.
        Walking down the hallway some the opposite way of where you were going, you saw that Damian’s door was open. Wanting, to avoid him, you went out one of the side doors. He would be in the cave training for the most of what you could tell. You walked outside greeted by the morning air. It was cool outside and the birds had stopped chirping for the most part. You walked towards the sounds of the fountains along the cobblestone path. The trees and shrubs were cut perfectly in different shapes and animals in some areas. You smiled walking through it all, the moon being the only light.
        Once at the fountain, you sat down. There wasn’t really anything you were focusing on. Everything just swirled around in your mind. With no indication or signs on what was going to happen, the only thing you felt like you could do was keep on the tightrope that you had been thrown onto. The start of it all was a blurry and foggy mess. The end however, was even worse. You had no idea where this new life was going to take you or Damian. It was easier when you had an idea. That didn’t make it better.
        You were consumed in your thoughts for the longest time before getting up and walking around more. This was the longest you’d been alone to wander freely like this since God knows when. It was nice but was eventually interrupted. You turned upon sensing that someone was there. Carefully, you reached for your dagger but didn’t pull it out yet.
        “Miss Y/N, breakfast has been prepared. Miss. Gordon will be here soon to take you to the shopping mall.” Alfred said, “I hope you are not about to pull a weapon on me. I will warn you, I don’t fancy being attacked.”
        “N-no. It’s just...” You slacked a bit.
        “Training. I understand.” Alfred gave you a reassuring look, “You seem to be adjusting better than Master Damian even on your first day here.”
        “That’s because I wasn’t born in the league. This is just like some distant home to me. I was in the foster care system until Talia got me.” “I also got to go on more missions outside of the compound.” You informed the older man.
        “I see.” He sighed, “Well, I hope that you will eventually find some sort of comfort here.”
        “Thank you.”
        It was strange hearing words of good wishes. Not that you hadn’t heard them before, it was just that it was rare and typically in a secret kind of code for lack of a better term. No one dared give well wishes directly, only in little ways. You and Damian did that the most out of anyone you’d ever met. It was just normal in that sense.
        The walk back inside was quiet. Alfred informed you of a few other details that you’d need during your stay. Most had to do with the boys. He said that they would be behaved but that they can get a bit... rowdy. It was just in their nature. You understood and told yourself to expect it. Walking inside you prepared for the worst. What you did get though was a very sleep deprived looking teenage boy, a tall man who was almost zombified, you knew that was Bruce, a very chirpy young adult male with bright blue eyes, and a tall red headed girl rolling her eyes at the younger man.
        “Master Dick, Master Tim, Miss. Gordon, this is Miss Y/N. She came with Damian last night and will be staying in the manor now.” Alfred said introducing you.
        Tim looked up, “Hi Y/N.” He then proceeded to down his cup of coffee.
        “Um, hello.” You replied. It was unusual to see someone like that but you also related to his actions deeply. You thought it was kind of funny anyways.
        “Hey, I’m Dick. So, did you get here last night?” He asked smiling and said the last part quietly, “You’ll have to excuse Timmy over there, he’s a bit tired from a case he’s working on. Just wait, he’ll eventually fall asleep somewhere for a day.”
        “Yes.” You shrugged, “And I understand where Drake is coming from.”
        That made Dick chuckle, “You seem to be less temperamental than Damian.”
        Barbra hit him with her elbow some, “Really Dick?” She looked at you, “Sorry about him, he gets excited about new people.”
        “I am only the temperamental type when I need to be. Other than that, I find it partially unwise to try and scare everyone with anger. Silence works just as well for me.” You sat down at the table with breakfast.
        The meal looked like something out of heaven. It smelled fresh and looked like whoever prepared it had been doing this for a while. You took the first bite, and after that you devoured the entire meal. You then remembered that Barbra was taking you shopping and started worrying about what was going to happen.
        “So, Y/N.” She said seeing you drift off into your own thoughts, “I was thinking that it might be best if we go to the smaller shopping center first. That way you might not feel so uncomfortable there. They’ve got some things I think you might like.”
        “That sounds suitable.” You answered, “Um, I have seen the more recent fashions from previous missions, however, I’m hoping that there are still stores that carry items of reasonable value instead of ... absurdly over the top garments.” “Avant-garde if you will.”
        “Oh yes, you’ll have plenty of options.” She laughed some at the concerned look on your face, “But I agree that some people do wear some very over the top things.”
        You nodded in an understanding way noting her tone. In these cases, she probably means that the clothes are normal and what you have seen is just avant-garde clothing worn by the rich to turn heads. While you had walked by the mall countless numbers of times on missions, and even inside, there was nothing that really caught your interest. Besides, missions were never for shopping you had the job of staying on task at all times.
        “Oh, and I invited Steph but she had previous arrangements so it will just be the two of us today.” Barbra said.
        “Very well.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra made your way inside of the mall. It was deemed best if she was the one to drive everywhere since Alfred and the limo would draw unwanted attention. Bruce did still have to figure out how he was going to break yours and Damian’s arrival to the press. He’d probably just pull another adoption stunt in your mind. It wasn’t rare and at this point, the media just accepted that he has an obsession with it.
        The two of you made it through the parking lot and into the building, you on high alert the entire time.         “You’re tense.” Barbra commented, “I can practically feel the tension coming off of you.”
        “Unfamiliar settings may lead to all too familiar circumstances and fallouts. I find it most wise to keep on guard in a place like this. It’s open to any assortments of attacks. With the right variables, a disaster could strike at any given moment.” You replied back looking around overwhelmed at the options of stores not noticing Barbra giving an understanding yet concerned look, “I uh- where do we start?”
        “I have some suggestions. Although, I think the first store that we should try is something with a bit of variety so that you might be able to find something that you like.” She said.
        “I think I might have something in mind. Maybe something a bit dark, classical, refined, but also something that might be able to be turned down to a more casual piece.” You listed some features you were interested in with an almost inquisitive look only to meet Barbra’s eyes which portrayed an almost warm and kind look.
        “I think I know just the place.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra walked around the shopping mall sipping on coffee from the Starbucks and eating some of the pastries.
        “These are not too bad.” You commented speaking about the treats, “I must admit, I have never had anything quite like this before.” “It tastes...”
        “Commercial?” Barbra asked laughing some making you shrug in agreement, “There are better places we might go some time. I just figured this would be suitable for the time being.”
        “Well the decision wasn’t ill placed.”
        “Oh, we should try this store up here. Steph and I are always finding some good items here.” She commented leading you into another store.
        At this point you had almost lost track of everywhere you’d been. It was like navigating a more organized jungle. This time however, the animals were people and there was no North Star nor moss to guide your way.
        “You were talking about more classic. This place has some clothes I think you might really like.”    
        Walking in, there were rows of all sorts of clothes including fitted and paper bag pants, pencil skirts, turtle necks in some places, tweed jackets, blazers, sweatshirts, hoodies, and almost anything you could have desired. You gawked at the sight and started wandering off on your own to explore the vast new area you had found. Slowly, you took what you thought looked best and gained an eventual plethora of clothing articles before heading off into the dressing room with Barbra in close pursuit.
        “What do you think about this?” You asked stepping out in an outfit you had put together from the clothes you’d picked.
        “I like it. I like it a lot. I do think though, that we might be able to add some jewelry to spice it up a bit.” She replied, “Change back and then we can go jewelry hunting.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        Once outside of the dressing room, you and Barbra checked out and went into the jewelry store that was down the hall and across the walk way on the second floor which you were already on. You headed inside and were immediately drawn to some plated jewelry. It was simple and elegant, just what you were looking for.
        “These look nice.” You gestured to some, your own ring on your finger flashing some in the light. It was an ever so slightly worn gold ring that you wore on your right ring finger. On it had intricate braided designs and a symbol that represented an eternal bond or promise.      
        “I didn’t notice you had a ring already, it’s very beautiful. You were allowed to keep it?” Barbra questioned pointing it out.
        “Thank you. But no, actually, I’ve had this ring, and smaller versions of this ring as I grew up. They were given to Damian and I when we were young. It is a symbol of promise. I’m his right hand, I go where he goes, and stay where he stays. Think of it as a contract of sorts, or maybe even a wedding ring. It’s just a daily reminder of my place.” You explained.
        “Interesting. Was there anything you did keep or was this is?” She asked.
        “I um.” You fiddled with something around your neck, “A necklace from my parents. It’s a moon and stars, the only thing I have from before the league really. The piece was the only thing I could keep.”
        She didn’t ask any more questions, instead opting for the task of browsing for jewelry. You picked out a few pieces, some with jewels and others just plated and empty. Barbra picked up a black watch to throw into the mix saying that it goes well with everything. You didn’t really doubt her. There was no reason to thus far. Once you left the store though, the two of you started to notice shopping’s effects and how the pastries and coffee had worn off.
        “I’d say we try the restaurant down the block. It’s got some really great options and I think you might really like the burgers there.”
        “It sounds like a decent plan.”
______________________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra walked inside of the place. Inside there were booths and tables along with a bar and waiting area. It was the run of the mill nicer business which thankfully, quickly got you seated. With drinks and even food ordered, there was a silence. It was kind of uncomfortable and awkward, you weren’t the greatest with social skills and starting conversations with new people. Damian wasn’t either which made it so easy to be around him. Well, at least when you weren’t fighting. You sighed thinking about it.
        “You’ve got that look on your face.” Barbra noted making you snap out of your thoughts.
        “Look?”
        “I know that you have just arrived and have much on your mind, however, you have that “boy issue” look plastered all over your face.” “Did something happen between you and Damian?”
        You weighed your options. Typically, these things worked themselves out. Damian wouldn’t be able to be rid of you unless he killed you and that would breach one of the highest codes of honor in the league. Typically though, these arguments were stupid or at least simpler like too many missions or being hurt on the field. This time, his grandfather had died as a result.
        You huffed some and took a deep breath, “Damian and I were in an argument last night because of my mission. I have been assigned since day one a location and route that would take him to Gotham in case something like what did happen, happened. For years, I’ve trained for this like some prepare for Armageddon. However, Ra’s al Ghul died in the battle. He blames himself mostly but also claims I have some part in it. Although, I think he might have changed that outlook since the fight last night.”
        Barbra looked shocked at what you told her, “Ra’s al Ghul is dead?”
        “Correct.” You answered grimly, “Heavy arrow fire took him.” “And, you don’t have to give your condolences, I know of what has happened at his hands and how that is viewed.”
        She nodded, “So you and Damian have just been avoiding each other all morning hoping that this all blows over?”
        “Precisely.” You sighed, “I for one know that this might never be worked out if there isn’t a final confrontation on the matter at hand however, I’m not quite sure how to approach that.”
        “Well from what I’ve seen, it might be best to just be straight forward with him. Letting this drag on and on isn’t going to solve anything whatsoever.”
        “I would have to agree with you Gordon. You have my appreciation.”
        “It’s no problem.” She smiled some.
        “I do have one concern and the only reason I’m mentioning it is because I trust my instincts and they tell me you can be trusted.” You said.
        “That is?”
        “How, how are we supposed to adjust to a different culture, life, policies, and circumstances in a matter of a few weeks. I mean I assume that Bruce will introduce us to the public and then with the blink of an eye, we’ll be out in public being swarmed by the media. I worry about Damian’s more impulsive and temperamental behavior with the newer surroundings and how he will cope. I think it will be difficult for the both of us to start abiding to certain ... rules if you know what I mean.”
        Barbra didn’t comment for a few seconds and instead took what you were saying all in.
        “I cannot say that I understand your position. I can say though, that I think that you of all people are more than capable of doing this. From what I have seen, you know what is best for the two of you and will stick to those beliefs, you’ve got the mindset of a fighter and strategist. Whether it be training or even turning away from some of it, I think you will find a way to adjust. And I know that it’s hard to trust people at first. That part I understand, however if you need anything, Alfred and I are always there.” She explained carefully almost washing away all of your fears.
        “Thank you.”
______________________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra were back at the manor now. Alfred had taken your new clothes for cleaning and you had your new room decorations and jewelry to put into place. You didn’t get many things seeing as the room already decently matched what you felt most comfortable with, however you were not going to protest against a few touches of your own.
        Once upstairs, you closed the door and got your new record player set up. Picking one that looked the most suitable and got to work making things as you pleased. You hadn’t noticed how much the time had passed before there was a knock at your door. You turned the music off and opened it to reveal Alfred with an assortment of clothes on hangers and another stack of freshly pressed and folded clothes.
        “I have your new garments ready to be put away.” He informed you.
        “Thank you, I can put them away myself.”
        “It is no problem Miss. L/N.” He handed you the clothes, “Dinner shall be ready at 6pm sharp.”
        “I understand.”
        Once he had left, you closed the door only and started putting items away only for another knock to interrupt you once more.
        “Yes?” You opened the door again, “Oh... hello demon.”
        “General- L/N, I wanted to talk to you about last night.” He said almost sheepishly.
        “Very well. You may enter.” You closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to hear the conversation.
        “I must apologize, my actions of last night were impulsive and guided by misjudgment from the events that have taken place prior to now.” Damian sat at your bed as you were still putting away clothes in the closet, “I stepped out of my place questioning your choices because I did not know under the circumstances they were made.” “You did nothing wrong.”
        “I accept your apology Damian.” You said making him almost sigh in relief, “I understand where the outburst came from.” “As cheesy as it might sound, I have thought over what happened last night.” You went and sat down at the end of the bed and looked him in the eyes, “The only thing we can really do now is stick together. We have no one else here that knows about where we came from and the worst choice we can make for ourselves in splitting apart. Especially over a recent quarrel or smaller dispute.”
        “I agree.”
        There was a small passing of silence, “Just promise me that you will try everything you can to make adjusting as easy as it can be on yourself. It will be a challenge, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’re both in the same boat on this one Damian.”
        “I promise, just as you have done so many other times before.”
        There was a small ringing from the phone you had gotten at the mall.
        “That means it is time for dinner.” You got up and turned off the alarm quickly before walking towards the door, “After supper I expect to see you for some sparring?”
        “I will be there.”
______________________________________________________________________________
        You and Damian were sitting next to each other at the dinner table. It was awkward and quite for some time, no one really wanting to bring any conversation up.
        “So how did you feel about Gotham Y/N?” Bruce asked you trying to start some sort of conversation.
        “It was fine.” You replied, “it’s comparable to a darker version of Chicago with a hint of New York.”         “When did you go to either one of those cities?” Dick asked inhaling his food.
        “I went to Chicago on a mission a year ago and New York three years ago.” You replied, “It was only for two nights at maximum.” “The people are strange though.”
        Your comment made everyone either smirk or chuckle which lightened the mood a bit. You could tell that Damian was uncomfortable in this newer situation however. He wasn’t one for talking to those if he wasn’t bragging about something. You never commented on it while he was doing it, only glaring some to get your message across to him. He’d typically get to a stopping place but on the rare occasions he wouldn’t, you’d actively end the conversation or bite your tongue to keep from saying anything regretful.
        “I took Y/N to that joint near the mall you told me to go to Bruce. It was good.” Barbra commented.
        “Agreed.” You responded, “We also picked up a great plethora of items from the shopping center. Thank you for letting me go. It is greatly appreciated.”
        “You are most welcome Y/N.” Bruce replied with a look of approval showing on his face, “And Damian, because you have opted not to go out with one of the boys, Alfred has had a selection of items delivered to the manor. They should have arrived already.”
        “Yes, they did father.” Damian said quickly, giving you a slight glance.
Damian’s POV:
        You seemed to be adjusting well. It was typical of you to take what you understood of your circumstances and adapt so quickly. You were just like that. He’d always admired it but right now, it was strange seeing you as the best adapted like you were. The strange distant feeling of seeing you not in armor or commanding a squad got to Damian. New surroundings like this were uncomfortable and unpredictable. He watched you fake your every move like it was nothing, the way that you carefully examined everything around you intrigued him. Then again, you were doing too well. He knew you were covering something. Old habits, old nightmares along as new ones, new yet familiar styles in the way you dressed, he saw your walls hold higher, most of the ones you “dropped” were mere props in the way you played. You’d always said life was a game or a gamble anyways, you just had to know how to play it.
        The conversations at the table were forced. At the Leauge, typically there were either no conversations, or they were over missions and training. Though, it’s not like he really enjoyed any of it to begin with. He reached over just enough so that no one would noticed and lightly tapped your leg.
        “most forced conversation I’ve had.” He tapped in a shorter way of speech than typical with Morse code.
        “same.” You answered back quickly, “wonder how long we’ll be here.”
        “hours.”
        “very funny demon.”
_______________________________________________________________________
Your POV:
        Damian was right, it did feel like hours. You didn’t really know when it was alright to leave, so you stayed until Bruce left. He was sitting at the head of the table, so he was in control of when you could leave. At least, that was how it was when you were raised in the foster care system. Damian left when you did and you both got suited up for sparring. You two met up outside of your own rooms when you were done, swords, daggers, and armor in all. If someone wasn’t familiar with the situation, they would have thought you were coming from a dress up party or cosplaying in some sense. That would have been insulting to you if you didn’t care about keeping your cover.
        “Woah there kiddoes, where are you two heading dressed like that?” Dick asked coming down the hallway.
        “Daily sparring.” You answered sharply.
        “With all of that?” Steph chose to comment as well.
        “Correct.” You continued, “They are merely swords and a few items of weaponry, nothing that should be too out of the ordinary seeing as you have the regular superhumans or even super heroes coming in and out regularly.”
        Dick nodded and let you two through after Steph got him to stop pestering you two with questions. You and Damian exchanged looks of distaste in regards to your interaction. Rolling your eyes, you continued, eventually making it to the cave. Once on the mat, you started training. There was no conversation at first. There didn’t need to be. You’d always thought that if there was no room for conversation, there was no need to squeeze it in. If conversation wanted to add more space, it would naturally.
        “So, how are you?” You asked, “Adjusting wise.”
        Damian looked around some before responding to make sure no one was there, “I am doing as well as I can be. I find that we are being underworked in responsibilities however. It’s boring here.” “You seem to be adjusting well.”
        “In standards of not beheading the shrubbery,” You smirked at the glare he gave you, “I’m... just testing the waters at this point.” “It feels strange not having a squad to command, I don’t like it that much but it is what it is.”
        You didn’t reveal everything or really anything close to the most. What you were supposed to do anyways? It’s not like you were going to reveal all of your struggles in one training session. You weren’t ready or willing to do that anytime soon. Deep down though, everything felt wrong. Not having your position anymore was just the surface of your issues. The constant urge to pull yourself back into your old habits was overwhelming. At a strange noise, you found yourself reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there. When someone tried to talk to you, you immediately put even more walls up trying to figure out what they wanted to really know. You needed action and something to focus on besides keeping up some imagine like you always did. At night or in the moments you were alone, the constant shadow of your former self was there to greet you like a figment of your worst flashbacks. You knew exactly what was wrong, you just didn’t know how to express it because of the quantity in which your problems amounted in. So, for now, you’d keep it to yourself.
        “Understandable.” He said pinning you down to the mat.
        You went to flip him over and then stopped in mid motion where he didn’t hesitate to take you down before standing up.
        “That was far below your own expectations for yourself in combat Y/N.” He said offering a hand up.
        You felt your fight or flight mode kick in the moment everything happened thinking back to the arrows falling from the sky. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself of where you were. There were no arrows flying. No screaming from those around you. You looked around to reassure yourself before hearing someone come up silently from behind you.
        “Hey love birds.” Dick said loudly walking up behind you.
        You felt him go for a pat on the back. Clearly, he was just being stupid for the time being but you could control what you did. Taking the man by the wrist, you used all of your force and some of his own weight against him to slam him over you onto the mat. The rush of adrenaline faded when you saw who it was laying on the mat groaning in pain.
        “Holy shit.” He mumbled.
        Damian’s jaw dropped to the floor seeing you pull something like that. You snapped out of your temporary trance and immediately extended your hand to help him up.
        “M-my apologies. I mistook you for someo-“
        He stopped you, “No it’s fine. Should’ve known not to do anything too sudden like that.” Dick looked at you for a second, “You put up a fight Y/N. Although, I wouldn’t expect anything less from a high general.”
        You sighed some at the comment, “Thank you. I must be leaving now.”
        The two watched you swiftly head up the stairs. You made sure to travel through the manor as quietly and quickly as possible. The last thing you needed was for anyone to try to touch or talk to you. Once you made it to your bedroom, you immediately grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower. A hot shower was the only thing you thought would help. At least, that’s what you were hoping.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Start of Part Six
        It was three days later since you had mistakenly slammed Dick into the mats. You and Damian hadn’t talked about it at all seeing as you were trying to avoid the topic like the plague. Darkness had settled over the manor. Bruce and the rest were just back from their patrols and you were just getting ready for yours. It was unofficial at least. Today would have been your turn for the 2:30 am shift of patrol at the league. You couldn’t sleep at all with the thought of your responsibilities running through your mind. 20 minutes had passed of you battling yourself on the aspect of going out. It would be unnecessary, Mr. Wayne has the best security money could buy or make. You thought it through over and over again. What if an alarm didn’t trip off when an intruder came in? What if the manor was attacked and nothing happened to prevent it. With these thoughts overpowering the logic you tried to introduce, you got up and changed into your suit.
        Exiting from your window, you went on top of the manor. The roof was pretty massive seeing as this was a mansion. You looked up seeing the stars and thinking back to what it looked like at the compound. The biggest difference here was seeing the lights from the city in the distance and pine trees instead of endless mountains. You jumped from different points, quietly landing on others. As you did this, you scanned the area and moved on if you didn’t see anything strange.
In the Manor:
        “It looks like she’s patrolling the area.” Bruce said sitting back in his chair in front of the computers that were installed in the cave, “I don’t like it.”
        “Master Bruce, Miss. Y/N is merely practicing habit. Leave the child be.” Alfred said as he cleaned up his first aid tools from tonight’s patrol.
        “She could be plotting something. Getting intel, either way, she’s triggering my alarms.” Bruce responded.
        “Master Bruce! Enough of that.” Alfred raised his voice in disapproval, “This isn’t a normal household as you might have gathered. Everyone here deals with trauma differently. As a child when you picked up strange habits after ... your own set of traumas, I did nothing to stop you of such actions. I knew you’d grow out of it.”
        “I guess you’re right.” Bruce muttered.
        “Nothing new Master Bruce.” Alfred remarked walking into the other part of the cave.
        Bruce eventually left, turning the system off. He knew Alfred was right and even though he wanted to, he knew that there was no ill intent in your actions.
_______________________________________________________________________
        Back outside, you were still well underway in your patrol. You had only thirty minutes left and then you would be able to return to your bedroom. Everything was silent but for the crickets and occasional fire fly here and there. You marveled at their beauty once you figured out what they were. That was strange to see for the first time. Other than that, the only other sound was a new pair of footsteps coming from behind. You knew who it was without turning around.      
        “I thought I would find you here.” Damian said.
        “Well, I guess you thought right then Damian.” You replied perched on the side of the manor.
        “I assume this patrol is stemming from previous habits of yours?”
        “One might say that.” You gave him a side glance seeing that he was coming to sit by you, “Old habit.”
        “Closer to, a sign that you really aren’t taking this move well and are actually covering it up for the sake of reputation and your own personal expectations you have set for yourself.” Damian commented making you roll your eyes some.
        “Wow, caught red handed.” “In all actuality, you’re correct on many levels.” “I just needed something ... normal for a change.”
        “I understand.” He said shortly, “I heard father talking about a gala. Something to parade us around to the rich snobs and media as an introduction. I do not look forward to it.”
        “That sounds like one of the worst ideas I have heard in quite a long time.” You huffed, “And that’s saying quite a lot.”
        He chuckled but after that, everything fell back into silence. You carefully looked out over the grounds before being startled by the vibration and alarm of your phone.
        “Looks like my patrol has ended.” You said turning off the alarm, “I shall return inside. Care to join me?”
        “I will.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        From there, sleep was impossible to come by. You were plagued by nightmares which you never had before. It was probably since you weren’t constantly focusing on training or a mission you had convinced yourself. What you needed was something to focus on and that was what you got. You didn’t rely on coffee like Drake since you never had it to begin with at the league. For the first few days, no one noticed anything. That was what you had planned, however it was of course Damian who raised the first alarm. You were in the library catching up on some studies for ancient history and astronomy. The sunlight was streaming in golden beams through the windows and you were sitting at one of the tables wrapped up in one of the long jackets that you had gotten. Damian walked in to see you hunched over one of the books with your hair in a messy bun.
        “Y/N?” He asked quietly as to not scare you.
        “Mhmm?” You hummed in response giving him a quick glance of acknowledgement, flipping the page to a star map.
        “With all due respect, you seem tired as of late. When was the last time you slept?” He questioned sitting next to you examining the pile of books you had pulled.
        “Last night?”
        “But did you actually sleep an entire night last night? That is the real question.”
        “Why are you concerned on the hours of sleep I got Wayne?” You asked in return.
        He didn’t answer. The truth was that he was worried more than he’d care to admit. He knew that you had terrible dreams like he did, neither of you cared to talk about them at all. The memories of mornings where you’d come for training with dark circles and eyes flooded his conscious. Those days you were scarier and had less patience, though he’d never blame you for it since he understood the feeling for some part.
        “You never answered my question.” You said pulling him from his thoughts.
        “I-I... no reason, I was just making sure my right hand was in stable mind.”
        “Well, I am fine.” You glared at him for the comment, “I’m perfectly stable demon.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        That was a few days ago. You kept the exhaustion hidden well, especially considering you were in a house full of detectives. That didn’t mean you didn’t feel it though. You were bone tired and almost lagged along. Focus became harder to maintain and you felt yourself drifting on and off into sleep. Now you were in the training room running a simulation. It was an easier one you had to admit, but nothing enough to give anything away. Your moves weren’t sloppy, just not as pristine as typical. You also didn’t notice Damian walk inside of the cave to watch you. Rubbing your temple as you finished, you grabbed your water bottle and splashed some of the cold liquid on your face to wake you up. You turned around and were startled by Damian.
        “My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He said reaching to grab your arms to keep you from hitting him from habit.
        “It’s fine.” You replied, “I just didn’t realize you were there.”
        “You never drop your guard like that. I think it’s time for you to sleep L/N.” He said, “I know you haven’t been getting any.”
        “I insist that I am fine.” You went to grab your duffle bag off of the floor with the intention of showering in the cave showers near the back. Standing up was the issue. With the worst light headed feeling you’d had in years you fell back down.
        “Y/N!” Damian grabbed you before you had totally hit the floor, “That makes it final, I’m making you sleep.”
        You mumbled an argument before totally passing out. There was no way of avoiding the obvious of you being passed out as he took you to your room.
        “Damian, what happened to Y/N?” Bruce asked alarmed standing up to see you completely out. Bruce wasn’t fazed by much, however, he wasn’t ready for that at all.
        “Lack of sleep.” Damian said shortly, “I think I know why.”
        Alfred followed him up the stairs explaining that he’d need to make sure you were okay other than not sleeping. He was sure that after a good night’s rest or so, you’d be fine. Damian knew though, that that was asking a lot from you no matter how simple it might be.
_______________________________________________________________________
        You awoke suddenly in your bedroom only to be surrounded by darkness and the light, delicate streams of moonlight shining dimly across the objects inside. You felt someone taking hold of your hand and immediately looked to see that it was Damian. Next to you, he was sitting in a chair with his head resting on the side of the bed and his hand around yours. With the shift in motion that you had caused, Damian awoke.
        “What are you doing?” You asked, a blush creeping across your face.
        “Oh- I,” He let go of your hand and rubbed the back of his neck, “I knew you needed to sleep and I also knew that you wouldn’t unless there was someone with you.” “I just didn’t think you’d want me to be in the be-“
        “I-I understand.” You replied, “Thank you.”
        “I will leave now.” He got up.
        “Damian I ... you were right about the sleeping bit. I actually wouldn’t mind if you stayed.”
        “I see.” He sat back down in the chair.
        “Damian, I’ve known you since we were three, you can sleep in the bed.” “If you’d prefer, there’s an extra quilt you could use in the closet.”
        “Are you sure?” He asked standing back up.
        “Positive.”
        Damian retrieved the quilt from your closet and returned quietly getting on the bed. You stayed under the original bedding and he slept on top of it. There was a distance that was kept between you two since it would be strange for you to be any closer. You were just close friends and nothing more. Although, that thought made you a bit upset. When you did finally awaken however, you were startled to see that you were tangled in the covers laying as close as possible to him. Damian’s arms were draped over you holding you tightly and neither of you cared to talk about it.
        That did however start a routine of going into each other’s rooms for sleeping. You didn’t classify it as a romantic or intimate thing. It was saved for whenever either of you had dreams terrible enough that you didn’t want to be alone anymore. At night, you might have been awakened by Damian coming into your room and getting into the bed only for you to keep close to him or it would be the other way around.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Start of Part Seven
From the day that you had collapsed, it had been a week. You could tell that the few weeks you had been at the manor had done some good with trust between all parties. Even Bruce was becoming more and more tolerable. You had met Brown who was exceedingly excited to meet you seeing as there would be another girl to level the boys when Batwoman wasn’t around. You and Damian both had started your mandatory six months of training before you could patrol which was going off very well on your end. And now, you were sitting in the living room scrolling through your phone as Damian sat next to you pretty much doing the same. There was suddenly the looming of another presence in the room which caused the two of you to look up.
“I have to inform you two of a gala that I am holding to raise funds for the Gotham City Orphanage. I’m introducing the two of you then to the public, Y/N, I will not be formally adopting you at your own request but you will be included as a family friend.” Bruce explained, “The gala is Friday, starting at 6:30pm. Clothing arrangements will be made and if you have any questions, you may ask one of the boys, Alfred, the girls, or myself at any time.”
Damian merely nodded and watched you fiddle with a golden chain around your neck. He had seen it before but had never questioned it. You always seemed to avoid showing it off at all. When Bruce left though, he asked you about it.
“Is that a new necklace?” He questioned.
“Uh, it’s from my mother and father.” You answered, “Talia let me keep it. I don’t really know why though. It’s kind of like my good luck charm as strange and naïve as that might seem to you.” You pulled from under your shirt to revel a gold chain with a diamond crescent moon and star pendent, “I don’t remember it well, however, I just remember my parents giving to me. The engraving on the back is a bit corny.”
You flipped the pendent over to show a small message relaying that they loved you to the moon and stars. You rolled your eyes a bit at the message but didn’t deny it made you feel closer to them in some way.
“It is very beautiful.” He commented, “You never wore it out. I hardly remember seeing you with it at all.”
“That’s because I always wore it under my suit. I didn’t want it to be stolen under any costs.”
“I’d be surprised of any fool tried.” Damian said making you chuckle.
“I wouldn’t, however I just wouldn’t want to be the one that stole something from me.”
After some time, you had gotten up to make arrangements for shopping with Brown and Gordon. It was important to have their input on what you decided to wear since they have been to galas before and you have not. This time, you were going to a different mall with higher end stores. This was where they swore you would find an outfit to wear. You didn’t doubt them, however you were dubious of whether or not you’d like anything truly.
_______________________________________________________________________
You were sitting at the vanity that was in your bathroom getting ready for the gala along with Brown and Gordon who were at the sink doing their own makeup. You didn’t want to wear any makeup, instead under their request opting for only some mascara. Even with that, you felt entirely different. Stephanie offered to do your eyeshadow but you declined seeing as you didn’t want to look ten years older than you already were. You told her that maybe next time you’d consider but today you just wanted to get a feel for how things worked as well as be as comfortable as possible. She understood what you meant.
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Damian didn’t leave each other side the entire night. Bruce introduced the two of you to everyone there and the prospect of talking to all the people was exhausting and by the end of the night, you were getting anxious to leave. Damian noticed you fiddling with your ring and looking for the nearest exit. That’s when Bruce brought you and Damian over to another man covered head to toe in garments that you thoughts to be more than your entire life over two times. The man smiled at the three of you walking over and loudly greeted your party. You smiled some and shook his hand, introducing yourself but not before getting a strong whiff of something that smelled like the drug they used to use on you in the league. Looking panicked, you searched for either an exit or a bathroom.
        “It was lovely to meet you, excuse me.” You said quickly making your escape to the bathroom and into a stall where you immediately started throwing up.
        Damian came in after you quickly knowing that he wasn’t technically supposed to be in there. He locked the bathroom door and went to your stall before knocking.
        “Y/N.. are you in need of assistance?” He asked.
        There wasn’t an answer from your end, instead he just heard faint sniffling which caused him to pick the lock of the stall and come inside. He hugged you from behind and held your hair back if you were sick again, the whole time knowing what caused your reaction. Bruce would have to not invite this person again if you were ever coming to a gala again.
        “I’m sorry... I just can’t-“
        “N/N, you don’t have to apologize, you had no idea or preparation for what happened.” Damian said braiding your hair back, “I’ll get you into the car without anyone seeing and you can go to sleep.”
        You mumbled an agreement and Damian texted Bruce that he was getting Pennyworth to bring the car to the back. Damian picked you up bridal style and carried you outside and into the backseat where you laid your head in his lap the entire ride. When you got showered and asleep, he stayed since he knew that you’d be having terrible nightmares all night.
_______________________________________________________________________
        You woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming in through the curtains in one of your oversized nightshirts that you had gotten with Gordon instead of some dress and heals. Damian was next to you already awake running his fingers through your hair. He immediately stopped when you awoke and sat up.
        “How did you sleep last night?” He asked, “After everything I mean.”
        “Fine... thank you.” You answered huddling under the covers some like you were almost trying to hide, “About last night, I don’t know what came over me. It was a mistake.”
        “You don’t have to take responsibility for this one Y/N. I remember what happened at the league and I know for certain that you do. No one else found out about what happened, I know you take those kinds of things hard.”
        “I appreciate it a lot Damian.” You didn’t really know what to say next but Damian started again.
        “Y/N, I want you to tell me when something like that is happening. We’re meant to protect each other, not just you to me. I c-care about you more than anyone else, we’ve known each other since we were children. I don’t want anything happening to you for the sake of reputation.”
        “I understand that.” You said still thinking about the last part he said, “I care about you too. I-I wouldn’t want to lose you either of anything like that.”
        At that point you kind of wanted to just disappear. While you were typically a lot better at words than Damian ever was, today it just seemed harder. You glanced at him for a second to see him blushing. Thinking you said too much, you started to climb out of the bed to bolt for the bathroom to take a long shower.
        “Wait, Y/N.” Damian grabbed your wrist, “I have to say this, just from what’s been happening between us recently-“
        “Damian you’re killing me with this. I like you a lot, do you like me?”
        He looked almost embarrassed with the suddenness of your question. While he was getting to that point, he wasn’t expecting you to be so forward to it.
        “I do love you, a lot.” He said.
        “Well damn it demon, kiss me finally!”
        He chuckled some and did what you said, 15 years of shared trauma and memories attached to the few long seconds it happened.
        “I’ve actually been waiting on that for years beloved.” Damian informed you.
        “So, my name is beloved now?” You commented snickering some at his comment
        “It is.” He nodded, “But, do you want to keep this secret for now?”
        “Absolutely. Only if you’re in for it though.”
        “I was actually hoping you’d say that.” Damian answered.
        “Well my love, let the games begin.” You said getting out of bed and walking to get changed and grab coffee.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Start of Part Eight
        Both you and Damian had now been secretly dating for two months. It was an exhausting game of cat and mouse of either running from his family, or the prying eyes of the press. You had just excepted at this point that this was just going to be a new normal for a long time. There was nothing you could seriously complain about much however. This was all you had wanted for years and if the company of clandestine meetings was going to be a center of attention in this relationship, that was what was going to happen.
        Dates were mainly just tea or coffee on the rooftops late at night for only a short amount of time if it was on patrol, and longer if it was at the manor. Right now, you were sitting in the library, laying in Damian’s lap, both reading your own books. No one but Alfred was in the manor however, you were sure that he knew about you and Damian. Light streamed in through the windows and silence blanketed the room as Damian ran his fingers through your hair, occasionally braiding it. You fiddled with the matching golden ring on your left ring finger some as he did this. This was the most relaxed you had been in years and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.
        He didn’t know this until recently, but the only professor that had ever lived was one that you had. Your voice professor used to braid your hair during warm ups. She was the closest thing that you had ever had to a mother and in return for this, you begged Talia to let her live. You decided not to make it out so that you trusted or cared for her, but rather that she had connections to people that the league could use. With this tactic, Talia actually allowed her to leave but under a life- long oath of secrecy to protect the league. You braid your own hair when you were stressed or anxious but it’s better having someone else do it. Damian only found out when you started braiding and braiding your own hair in the roof tops one night at the league, only to let the piece unravel and start again.
        “Beloved are you going to go on patrol tonight?” He asked breaking the silence.
        “Of course.” You answered, “Is there a reason you asked?”
        “No, I was just checking.”
        “...Damian, how long do you think we’re going to stay a secret? I’m not upset or anything of the sort, it’s just a bit exhausting sometimes.” You questioned, flipping the page of your book.
        “I don’t really know Beloved. How long do you think you’d want to stay like this?” Damian set down his book to give the conversation his attention seeing as this one was important.
        You audibly sighed as he started braiding a portion of your hair, twisting it around and then letting it lose again, “I don’t really know, 3 months at most maybe?”
        “Are you tired of seeing strangers online pine away after me?” He asked smirking.
        You rolled your eyes and jokingly slapped his arm making him laugh, “What about me? I’ve seen plenty of suitors for myself.”
        “Don’t remind me Y/N.”
        “Oh no, I’ll remind you. First there was one that actually messaged me asking if I was single. Oh, another that tweeted asking if I was single. Then, there was another that mailed a love letter to the man-“
        Damian cut you off, putting his hand over your mouth making you laugh. You sat up and sat crisscrossed in his lap facing him, running your fingers through his hair.
        “You didn’t really think you could shut me up that easily did you demon?” You asked quietly.
        “I’d gage you would find a way to get your point across any way you could General.” He kissed the corner of your lips which made you glare at him some before pulling him in for a real kiss.
        “Next time some girl gets a hold of you at a gala though, just make sure not to charm her for me, will you?”
        “Whatever you say.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        Patrol started off boring and uneventful. Nothing exciting was happening but for maybe a few ally level crimes. You and Damian were perched on the rooftops looking down at the city lights and occasional people. Damian had obviously gotten the whole Robin outfit, in his own version of course. You however, took the same style as your past uniform. It was similar in the sense that it was amour and a hood, you still had your knives and compartments, this time though, the color was different. He couldn’t see the look on your face through the mask you were wearing which covered your lower face to your eyes, but he was sure you were bored. He was going to start a conversation when the comms came on with Bruce talking loudly.
        “I need everyone at the Rosehill Apartments on 7th Street! There’s multiple bombs spread throughout the building, civilians are inside.”
        You looked at Damian who nodded at you before you both swung off the building.
        “ETA 2 minutes.” You replied back getting onto your own bike and speeding off towards 7th St. following Damian.
_______________________________________________________________________
        Upon arrival to the building, you could see that everyone else was already inside but for Nightwing who on crowd duty until you two had gotten there.
        “There’s one more bomb in the kitchens. Everyone else is either getting their own or helping the residences escape.”
        You looked around for an entrance that wasn’t in terrible condition. Once you found one you ran towards it at full speed with a bomb on your mind.
        “Stick close, the roof might not be stable anymore.” You said, “If the bomb goes off, I expect you to leave immediately.”
        “Beloved I’m not leaving you if anything happens.” Robin replied running beside you.
        You didn’t reply, instead bursting into the kitchen and jumping over one of the carts in the way of your path. Using the locator on your wrist device, you scanned the room stopping when it got a hit.
        “It’s in the freezer!” You ran over and opened the door into the large room, “Hold this open and make sure it doesn’t close, I’ll disarm the bomb.”
        Damian nodded and did what you said as you went inside and ripped open one of the floorboards to find a massive collecting of wires and buttons connected onto one device. The type of timebomb was one that you had seen plenty of times before in training and when you yourself had used them. Part of training was learning to make one so it wasn’t too terribly difficult to disarm this one. The hard part was getting out.
        “Y/S/H/N!” You heard from behind you as you were about to stand up, “The place is on fire.” Damian called out, “We have to leave!”         You turned around and saw the place ablaze. Damian already had his other mask up over his face so he could breathe when you got out of the freezer. The two of you started running out to find the hallway also up in flames.
        “Don’t come near the kitchens, the whole place is going up in flames.” You said, “Bomb has been disarmed however.”
        “Good, now get out of there.” Batman replied back.
        “Working on that.”
        You and Damian sprinted down the hallway making sure no one else was inside on your way out. Once in the lobby you turned hearing someone screaming from a room nearby.
        “I’ll be right back.” You said turning around locating the person who was a small child.
        “I can’t find my Mommy.” She said sobbing into your arms.
        “I promise you I’ll find her.” You said running back up front, “I’m going to give you to Robin and he’ll take you outside, I’ll find your mommy.”
        You reached the front of the building where Robin was, “Take her, she can’t find her mother, I’m going in after her.”
        “You can’t, the building is going to come down at any minute!” Damian said taking the girl in his arms.
        “I have to check, I can’t let her grow up without parents like I did.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You ran inside not really aware of what was happening outside anymore. Looking around you saw no sign of anyone but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t be buried under something. As you did this, you pulled out the scanner again but this time had it scan for biological creatures instead of machinery. There was nothing at the point where you were. Going farther into the structure was a no go at this point but it was your only option.
        Outside, Damian was trying to find the girl’s mother in the crowd as he mentally cursed himself for allowing you to go inside. He should’ve done more, he could’ve done more but he didn’t. Running to the line of ambulances, he looked for someone that matched the girl’s description of her mother. When he finally found the person, he rushed over just in time for the lady to see her daughter and burst into tears. She hugged her daughter and thanked Damian for bringing her back to her before Damian rushed back to find you.
        “Y/N!” He screamed getting inside catching your attention.
        Further down the hallway you heard Damian yelling for you. You turned around and started headed quickly for him and once he saw you, he announced that they had found the mother outside of the building. The two of you started running for the exit when you looked up hearing a faint beeping. The exit was 50 feet ahead and the closer to it you got, the louder the sound.
        “Damian! There’s a bomb above us, I- I think it’s about to blow.” You said as pieces of wood from the building came down little by little, “5 seconds now!”
        Damian had a look of terror as he picked up the pace. You knew that both of you wouldn’t make it without a little boost so you got behind Damian and launched him out of the way where Nightwing was standing right as the building was coming down. The last thing you heard was a defining thunder and then the screams Damian who was kicking and trying to get away from Nightwing to go back for you.
        “Y/N is still inside you idiot let me go!” He sobbed trying to elbow his oldest brother in the rib.
        The second round of explosions came, only making the structure collapse more, fire raining down.
        “Beloved!” He screeched making Nightwing almost drop him in surprise at what he called you.
        He understood why Damian was fighting so hard now, but that didn’t mean that he could let him go. The rest of the family standing by heard it as well. It would’ve been hard to miss anyways.
        “You can’t go in after her!” Nightwing yelled over the explosion.
        “I have to! She’s the only one I have, I have to go! Let me go!” Damian got lose just as the dust was settling.
        He ran to where he last saw you and started digging, tears filling his eyes so that he couldn’t see. There was no chance you were still alive and if you were, it wouldn’t be for long. That was when he heard you try and move something. He was looking in the wrong place, only a few feet away. When he saw where you were, he lifted the piles of wood and debris off of you to find you badly injured and hardly awake.
        “Beloved stay awake for me okay?” He said lifting you up out of the rubble.
        There was a part of your side where you had gotten impaled. It didn’t look like it hit any vital organs, however, you were bleeding out rapidly.
        He swept the hair out of your face and gently held you to him as he ran for the Batmoblie quickly trailed by everyone else. With you in the backseat, Nightwing front, and Batman driving, you were quickly headed for the cave. Damian wrapped your wounds tightly and held your head up in his lap checking your pulse every few seconds.
        “How is she?” Bruce asked sparing a glance at the back seat.    
        “Unwell, I-I don’t know how she’s still alive.” Damian responded.
        “Enhanced strength from the pit.” You groaned some in pain.
        “What the hell?!” Dick turned around to see you trying to sit up, “Enhanced strength my ass, how many times did you take a dip?”
        That earned a sharp glare from Damian and a reprimand from Bruce. He apologized realizing that he overstepped.
        “Beloved don’t move like that, just stay down.” Damian said gently, “You’ll only hurt yourself more.
        “I work through pain.” You muttered.
        “Funny, I’m sure I’ve heard that somewhere.” Dick said.
        Getting to the cave, you don’t remember much, just waves of pain and floating in and out of consciousness. The only part that you really remember was the worst part, but that was later to come when everyone really thought you would die.
End
_______________________________________________________________________
Start of Part Nine:
        After Alfred removed the pipe that was in your stomach you started bleeding heavily. No one was ready for it and the amount of blood made it hard to work. Damian looked over and saw you bleeding out on the table and went into panic mode. He jumped up and started looking through your belt for something.
        “Damian- what are you...” Your eyes went wide as he pulled out a small glass of liquid, “You’re not going to do what I think you will are you?” You groaned.
        Talia had allowed you to have a vile of the pit just in case something happened and you needed to use it on Damian. If it was injected, it would be stronger so you always carried the proper supplies for it.
        “Pennyworth, a moment?” Damian pulled him to the side once you weren’t totally bleeding out, “She’s going to die isn’t she?”
        “Master Damian I- yes, she will die if something else isn’t done. I do not know what can be done.”
        Damian sighed, “We have to inject this into her, where ever the wound is. It’s a vile of the water from the pit. She has it to use for me, but, she needs it now.” “I’ll hold her down.”
        “Why ever would you have to...” Alfred thought about it before a long look came over his face, “I understand. Right away then.”
        Damian walked to you carefully, knowing you had an idea of what was to happen.
        “Dames, please don’t.” You whimpered.
        “Beloved, I know you hate it but it has to be done. I’ll be right here for you the entire time, you won’t be alone this time, I promise.” He said taking your hand in his, “Just let Pennyworth do this quickly and it’ll be over faster.”
        “Damian no!” You started crying, “Please not this, just let me die, please!”
        “Y/N, no you have to just listen to me. I’m right here, the entire time.” Damian said after Alfred put a hand on his shoulder.
        He pulled you to his chest close and held your hand as Alfred injected you with the stuff. Damian knew it would work, he just didn’t really know about what would happen to you after that. The issue of the pit’s madness might not be one here, however no one was entirely sure what an injection of it would do. He knew shortly after though.
        You screamed and cried into his shoulder almost not being able to breathe.
        “Make it stop please!” You begged, “It hurts, please!”
        “Beloved I’m right here.” He said, “I’m not leaving you.” A few minutes had passed and he knew from past experience that you’d be back in just a second. That didn’t make it easier. As you came off of the hallucinations and pain, you were silent. The silence was the worst part. It was like after all of that, you went into autopilot now just trying to figure out where you were and how to get topside. The sudden mental change was all too familiar but instead of waking up alone and in a cavern illuminated by the light of the pit, you woke under florescent lights that had been dimmed and a figure holding you tightly after Alfred had left. Your hands immediately found his hair and with the comfort and familiarity, your heart rate dropped to something normal instead of rushed.
        “Dami?” You blinked a few times, “Is it over yet?”
        “Yes beloved.” He said looking up, eyes puffy with tears in his eyes, “I’m sorry beloved, I just, I can’t... I don’t know what would happen if I didn’t have you with me.”
        “It’s okay Damian. It really is this time.” You sat up clutching your side some, “Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt for a little bit though.”
        “Here, let me help you.” Damian helped walk you upstairs to his room and wash your hair. With the number of wounds you had to have dressed and cleaned, you didn’t need a shower, just the rubble and dirt out of your hair. He pulled up a stool in front of the sink and held your head up and he washed the hair.
        You didn’t really know what to do or say, so instead you just sat back and let him take the lead for once. After drying your hair enough, you went and sat on his bed, him sitting behind you. He took sections of your hair and started braiding them over and over again.
        “I thought I was going to lose you Y/N.” He said, “You’re so stubborn.”
        You scoffed, “You’re one to talk demon.”
        “That is true General.” He remarked, “What you did was truly remarkable though.”         “I had to do it Damian. She was around the same age I was when I was brought to the league.” You said.
        “You should’ve seen the look on the mother’s face when I brought her back. She was so happy to see her.”
        “Well, at least if anything happened, a family would not have been lost tonight.”
        Damian didn’t respond, you knew he couldn’t because while he knew you were right, it pained him to think of you leaving him.
_______________________________________________________________________
        It was a few days later, your wound was healing rapidly probably just to leave a scar and sun was finally shining onto Gotham. Damian was out with the guys not of his own free will though. You were sure that when he got back there would be a ranting session about the dramatics of it all. Alfred had a day off right now and the rest of the family was gone. For the time, it was just you in the large house left alone to roam around as long as you wanted. With that silence and peace however, was an interruption. A knock at the door came and when you went to check, nothing was there but for a parcel sealed in wax addressed to you.
        You looked around knowing it was Talia’s writing and nodded before walking back inside and heading for your bedroom. Once sitting at your desk, you opened it up with the small knife you kept on you. Unraveling the letter that was set atop the actual package, you read it.
General Y/N,
        I send this letter as an update to the league. Nothing has changed as the last one has arrived to your doorstep but for the slow process of filing through recruits once more. The attack was assisted by an inside source which is now being handled as seen fit. As for you, I have heard the news of your recent relationship with my son. I give you my blessing to continue, seeing as I have anticipated this for an extended amount of time. I also write this as a thank you for your recent near sacrifice. You have lived to my expectations dramatically and I see you were the right fit for this position. As such, I have obtained a second vile of the pit and sent it to you as a token of my gratitude.
        Sincerely,
        Talia al Ghul
      You smiled reading the letter before in code writing the important parts down in a leather journal you kept locked in a trick door on the third drawer of your desk. With the actual letter, you burned it in the fireplace which was already going. And with the ashes of the letter, you knew that this was the start of something new. You watched the rest of the letter disappear into the rest of the ashes and then headed outside for a walk in the sun, letting go of all of your issues for even a few moments of serenity.
-
-
Tags-
@we-want-mini-mini @a-door-into-my-mind​ @idkmanicantenglish​ @queengeorgiaaa​ @lucy-roo​ @wolfiemichele​ @grey-water-colors​ @random-fandom-girl-24​ @crumpets-are-better-with-jam​
82 notes · View notes
incarnateirony · 4 years
Text
15.07 Thoughts
So 
1. Y’all know I’ve been very opinionated about certain things, but my inbox has been such a perpetual onslaught that I haven’t had time to really *sit and genuinely write*
2. This is premised 100% off of an expansion on a beautiful post by @heliodean​ (x)  -- or more, I would say that heliodean already wrote most of what I would begin to say, and very elegantly about the text, subtext, representation, visibility, canonicity, but that all as a simple underline to the growth evidenced by Dean. 2b. That is to say, that while the queer text is itself indivisible from the original text, I would like to expand on a few points that are also character-specific, and I didn’t want to kidnap a representation-leaning post to discuss only phantasmally attached affairs.
So again, @heliodean‘s post is an absolute must-read, but building aside on the discussion of Dean’s growth as expressed in the episode, I wanted to focus on some personal John-facing issues.
While helio mentioned Lee’s last advent of Dean being when he idolized John Winchester, which is very true, but I think several of their engagements -- including, yes, the queer narrative but not dependent on it -- are hugely reflecting. 
Even if we take, in example, Dean, ass slaps, waitresses and Lee -- a common discussion point  is for example that despite open flirtation, Dean dismisses her like she brought his burger over too well done, implicitly. She was there, literally while they talked about double dogging someone down, and despite ass slaps and flirts and posturing, she just kind of vanished into the aether, a thought to neither of them.
Tumblr media
How this attaches to the John related issues actually requires dropping a level deeper, when you realize that while the implication is itself surface level text, the words hang instead in old canons, just reflecting at the surface; the sense of history being tangible between them is there for a reason.  Even if you took the most heteronormative read on how to double-dick down an ungendered individual, that we hetly decide was female, and that the balls never touched or whatever because *big gay panic* the choice to literally bring that to center discussion after Dean implicitly seemed to forget it ever existed, or act like he didn’t want to talk about it until being charmed by the memory in particular.
Or perhaps, more realistically in the subtext to the *actual text* as expository line everybody is spinning circles on -- quite simply, there were triplets and there was a woman shared between them, but she wasn’t what he remembered. As far as Dean was concerned, there was one woman and, very quite-down-to-point, one man has was sharing. The fact that he happened to have trimmings of a spare woman as a commentary didn’t even plink his memory. *Holy shit* 
-- (and let’s be real, MOST OF THIS WAS IN DIRECT TEXT TOO. The only “subtext” is the most liminal understanding that words connect to each other and sentences are usually related to the discussion at hand, but that’s about what people call subtext these days. Dean literally forgot and had to be reminded. I guess “subtext” is applying the working adult brain to figure out how the FUCK you forget who you were putting your dick in. The tryst itself, the bizarre things Dean forgot, these are all... well, text. And the rest is so narrowly subtext that someone missing it out of genuine ignorance and not petty malice and active choice/reconfiguration is pretty much contingent on someone literally not thinking at all)
like
I’m not gonna heavily debate textuality in this post because at this point, fandom dialogue is a helium inflated parody of itself on most of that, but like I really? Don’t give a shit? How someone tries to move the goalposts around? Seriously grab that whole scene at the table front to back, and then the stage, and show that to some random straight guy you know that doesn’t even watch the show. I’m going to tell you 99.9999% right now the first thing to come out of their mouth is “That’s fuckin gay” or some variation of it into various fields of PC-facing culture. The hilarity of trying to run defense lines for them at this point is somewhere out in orbit in Alpha Centauri, bitching about a whole other solar system of shit.
But taking back to that -- that waitress, that woman that just evaporated. That was a different time. That’s when Dean wanted fodder between him and anyone else he had a deep connection with. That’s when Dean *did* womanize. Did bury himself in skin. 
And frankly that’s a Dean that hasn’t existed for a long time while fandom has sat in general denial about it, or the canonicity or *sets off carousel music*
Tumblr media
(My mood every time a young bright eyed LGBT warrior thinks they’re doing a service by dismissing, deleting or denying low-visibility LGBT text)
Tumblr media
Mutual ass slaps and vigorous bisexual reactions be damned, Lee’s adoration OF John was even brought into text, be it the solemn vigil he held up in his service, or his textual “I’m you” to Dean, and everything old Dean might have become if things hadn’t dramatically shifted gears in his life; but something the *here* and *now* is trying to make him become.
Tumblr media
Reaching into the alchemical stuff again, be it Silver And Gold, or Nothing Gold Can Stay, or Golden Time, or now, the monster that spits out fake gold as long as you feed it, and stop caring. The thing Chuck is trying to make them. The things -- the people -- the building treasures in their life of Eileen, and Castiel, and yes, lost several episodes but not forgotten, Jack and Mary; Eileen treasure found anew, Cas a treasure lost that took the last light of his family, and Jack and Mary’s shadows, with him.
The force that broke their chain, the force that was first ready to face authority, because this was not a new battle to him; it had just been given new meaning, many years ago, when he first faced Dean. Dean echoes the broken despair Cas once saw life as from angelic roost, and Cas stands instead for every lesson Humanity taught him, and continues the fight, and walks away from a toxic vortex of destruction drilled and doubled down on by Chuck’s purposeful machinations -- machinations Dean convinced him to break from long ago, but the man that the angel fell for is not who he is now; the fire he gained from Mary went out in her death into the dark and obsessive and introverted blackened side of John Winchester, not the one that, taking his wife’s hand, disappeared into gold.
Tumblr media
(Don’t even get me started on the recurrence of this exact shot in Dabb’s SPN, we’ll end up in a whole other aside.)
“Nothing Gold Can Stay.” This is the lesson Chuck has been trying to force down their throats alongside murder suicide. It is our target subversion, but--
Tumblr media
This episode fundamentally *exists* to just *put Dean Winchester’s growth into perspective*. Be that textually affirmative bisexuality (regardless of if it’s visible enough for everyone’s taste, which I hold in bizarre levels of wtf question/suspicion), or about the boy of vices and basically casual misogyny and grim habit that has grown into a man that -- while he may remember it fondly with crinkles in the corner of his eyes, he doesn’t flit it to whatever filler is in the seats between them, but to that old “friend” that, you know. *jazz hands* 
About his fight with resignation that has griefed him since his first demon deal, and of self worth, and of what he has learned, and of what he will deep down never let anyone take away, even if he’s made to question it.
Tumblr media
(Dabb on 14.13 Lebanon and the lessons imbued)
This episode??? Like??? Jeremy Adams didn’t blow me out of the water. I jettisoned somewhere into another galaxy or some shit. Here I am holding tentative resignation about how bad the new (presumed) straight white male author on crew is gonna do while looking at history, but giving benefit of the doubt, making a few jokes??? And then it’s like HELLO YES ALL OF THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. WHAT KIND OF FIRST EPISODE BLACK MAGIC? THAT WAS A BOBO LEVEL FIRST EPISODE. 
Oh my god.
Tumblr media
I mean, I’m sure we all saw it coming, like deadass you all know I’m not a genius for saying and expecting -- Dean, lessons learned and remorseful from these last few misadventures, coming in to want to talk to Cas, who has had no such giving and keeps his focus on the target, outside of his perceivably crumbled relationship. Like, expecting this is about as simple as expecting them to fight monsters, or Sam and Dean disagreeing over a method/plan. 
But as unsurprising as it is, it held weight and value, after the episode -- as given in my addition to the original referenced link -- spent its entire time framing loss of best friends, empty space, the ramifications of turning one’s back, and knowing gold when you have it and what’s worth fighting for. 
Tumblr media
Now, to fall back to touching on the textuality topic: I thank 15.07 for the display of performative absurdity. It’s not the first episode to rip open and expose fandom’s dirty underbelly and intersectional marginalization forces wearing an LGBT Activism Suit -- 14.03 also did so loudly by Bobo (eg read: “The Problem with Dreamhunter” [A post that points out what people will accept for canonization when there isn't a rival ship or excessive projection of antis specific to a ship which is *SPOILER ALERT* nowhere near what everyone pretends is needed when they want to argue just to argue and some intersectional WLW vs MLM issues]) -- but it was the first to approach it directly with Dean, much less so textually. 
The ridiculous redefinition of words, of “what *I* think canon means” whipped completely out of fandom generated buzz and no dictionary on the face of the planet -- the demands, and the active erasure of existing LGBT text because it wasn’t *visible enough* -- really does show a seedy side of fandom that wears a nice Representation Warrior dress sometimes, but betrays a series of issues:
Most points boil down to “I won’t acknowledge any text unless it is loud enough to argue down any idiot I ever meet”, putting the focus not on representative resonance and value of quality of text, but on personal vindication for raw argumentation. A world where trolls and their personal agendas have actually taken *greater importance* to people than the representative text, and is an absolutely abysmal motivation or bottom line for any discussion and yes, if you recoiled and feel ashamed or called out about that, rather than patching over your pride and doubling down, maybe skim the reblog tags bisexual people have left on my several dozen posts about the damages of them being actively deleted is doing.
If you care about representation, you’ll think about that. Even if it’s not the loudly visible version of representation you *want*, it is what it is, and well--it is. Pretty simply. There is no perfect fantasy world where everybody understands and wants the thing you do. And I’m not just talking about LGBT rep. I’m talking about the people you pretend to need to argue gay canon with still being absolutely flummoxed by canon itself, like them saying “family don’t end with blood” and “found family” are “fanon concepts”. People that are confused where demons go when they die. People that rebuke literally many-times textualized non-gay things just to suit their personal agenda. And shockingly, they have a personal agenda about the gay content too.  
I’m talking about straight pairings like mulder and scully that got no romo’ed around even after they kissed and got pregnant and the whole nine, because bawww that’s not what the show is about so *allow me to build elaborate theories that make no sense and pretend they have standing in canon equal to the straightforward read*.
Cuz that’s where we’re at right now. Our fandom is just particularly bonky, and has been allowed to go so far off the edge of the map and away from center GA-resonant discussion that the bog standard antis have literally come up with body-mutilating necrophilia as an answer to avoid the gay, and somehow... *shruuuuug?* people act like these people not only are of equal worth but like... deserve... any consideration long term? Which is when we lean into the next point on MOTIVATION.
So ask at what point arguing with tinhats beat out your actual interest in representation and LGBT rights and media issues. Ask at what point you surrendered your focus on feeling resonant with a character that has been textually acknowledged, and traded that for implying you suddenly can’t relate to the character until he performs [X] exact function, exactly how you want, and when you want. Hell, I have even gotten an anon that literally said they would have acknowledged it if SPN had given them what they want when they wanted-- so basically, too late, not enough.
That’s not how text works. Whether the text came ten years ago or now, the text is the text. Your personal fulfillment aside, text is text. And I highly urge people to stop demanding tokenism above demographic-targeted representative types (eg bisexual, raised in the 80s in a patriarchal/power/grit based society and its own associated dogmas, fairly masculine identity, and so on) or demanding characters perform as if they were from another demographic (be it age or gender) because that’s your demographic. 
Once you start removing elements of the represented demographics (LGBT, male, age, origin, etc) and wanting it to perform by way of *your* demographic’s behaviors or base line needs/wants, that’s when we’ve left representation. That’s when we’re demanding tokenization. And when you’re demanding tokenization to win internet fights with people who don’t even believe what they say, you have long left the representation wheelhouse. That’s what we call troll wars. 
Do not let LGBT media representation be kidnapped into troll wars. Do not let content be degraded or removed just to engage in troll wars. And if you want to engage in troll wars, and you value the arguments more than the discussion *of* representation intersectional issues, and methods, and all around it -- then just... stop. Stop saying you want representation. Don’t. 
I’m tired.
84 notes · View notes