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alangdorf · 8 days

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Actually more rambling now. Currently thinking thoughts abt Tsuru and also Yabu (and Tsubakura by extension, obviously, who do you think I am,)

Always extremely funny that Tsubakura isn’t in most of Evanescent Existence just because they ignored the psychic intercom message and got really interested in the weird cave instead. What exactly was Tsurubami’s plan for if they hadn’t done that?? They run into each other and Tsubakura’s like “yeah I guess this might as well happen to me today”

Anyway the whole plot of Evanescent Existence is bizarre but it feels in character with how inscrutable Tsurubami is. Impossible to tell whether he has a convoluted plan or if she’s just having fun and it doesn’t matter cause he’s so all-powerful she’ll just get whatever she wants in the end regardless. Awesome!

Gotta mention one of my favorite fan works and definitely my favorite writing of Tsurubami is Misremembered Memories (fangame by Mugenri) (the person); I once summed up Yabusame’s scenario as “hey girl I didn’t call to talk to you put your dog on the phone” and made myself laugh extremely hard. And the bit where Tsurubami is like “it’s a trade secret!” And Tsubakura’s like “We have the same job? I’m filling in for you at your job?” And Tsubrubami’s like “Oh, I guess you’re right!” *blatantly continues to not tell them what they were drugged with* is LEGENDARY. But aside from the incredible banter I also love how Tsurubami asks Yabu & Tsuba for favors only after they’re already in a position where they can’t reasonably refuse. Feels right (kicking the “frankly I think it’s hot when characters are manipulative” tag from my ‘shall we dance’ pic under the fridge)

Oh yeah speaking of the song I happen to have a very strong link between liking music -> liking the associated character (slightly less so for Len’en than with Tohuhou cause I’m more interested in the story on its own merits for Len’en but it still seems to largely be the case) and I’m still very obsessed with the song. Thoughts on how it connects to the character 1) leading (like in dancing) 2) disorienting 3) silly goofy mischievous. Though I’ll admit I’m even more obsessed with broken eternal dance engine these days and that’s a twofer cause it’s actually Arde but would still presumably apply to a case where Tsurubami was outright trying to kill you! Either way 1) DANGER 2) even more disorienting 3) if you have the sound turned up just enough on that last big beat drop. Insane. The key change. The flip from just piano to full strings and heavy bass and crazy percussion. Kills me every time

(Tangent my friends who only know Len’en because of me talking about it are used to me very ardently insisting that Arde is just, like, pretty normal actually and today I was like “oh yeah I forgot this is her theme btw” *MO-NA-D-1 Memory Pursuit (basically a horror movie soundtrack)* lol)

Also I was thinking about the possibility that Tsurubami was the one who activated Rei (bc of how Rei talks abt him) and that’s got me spiraling. What all is she doing out there? If he was outright pretending to be Tsubakura again wouldn’t Hoojiro (& Haru) know about it? How’d he get access otherwise?

Extreme mental gymnastics offshoot from there: is Tsubakura a nepo baby??? Is it EN like 燕??? I dunno man. Trying to reverse engineer their backstory is such an ordeal; I keep muddling through their confusing relationship dynamics with Arde (it’s more straightforward with Hamal. Weird and bad, but straightforward!) and I’ll just be constantly going like girl (gender neutral) what is wrong with you…. Why are you like this……..

Anyway. My one big thing to share about Yabu is that I used to make the joke that Len’en as a whole feels like “Tsubakura’s terrible horrible no good very bad day, and also Yabusame is there” and then one day I had the epiphany to flip “it’s kinda funny Yabu just doesn’t really have a personal reason to be involved in all this” into “but she is anyway! They didn’t have to be there but she’s there for Tsubakura!” and got extremely soft about it.

Also uhhh I guess it depends on how much everyone knows about how Suzumi and their abilities work (always difficult to sus out) but in theory if Tsubakura knows about Yabusame’s immunity then them living with her would lessen paranoia that Suzumi could show up and then make them forget about it afterwards (though maybe undeservedly considering how BPoHC went lol)? Works as a deterrent either way. Okay so I think what we’ve learned here is I’m definitely not done with trying to make sense of a detailed headcanon version of precanon lol

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bookwyrminspiration · 1 year

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Sophie’s father is a human. It is only logical explanation for many of the things that happen in the series.

We are told time and time again that elves cannot feel guilt or see violence. It causes their minds to shatter and break. This is not a problem in the Elven world because it is very sterilized and uneventful. In the human world though, elves would suffer immensely. The violence on television and the day to day lives that humans live would cause them to feel overwhelming amounts of guilt. This makes me wonder how Sophie, who lived in the human world for twelve plus years, never experienced any type of guilt. She would have seen violence on television and read about it in school (she had skipped grades and would have learned about mature topics that could potentially break the mind of an elf). These types of things can cause extreme emotional reactions in human adults, much less an elf.

For guilt, Sophie would have done plenty of things that made her feel guilty. Taking something she was not meant to take, lying by omission, or just being mean because she was in a bad mood. The books said she was consistently in conflict with Amy. As a human, Amt might have been the one who was always creating problems, but after reading the books and seeing how Sophie treats people at times, I think there were moments where Sophie could have created conflicts too. Amy could have certainly been the aggressor at times, but there were moments where Sophie would have been. Things get even more convoluted when the inflicting scenario is considered. That would most certainly cause her to feel guilt, so that is why Forkle wiped it from her mind. However, once she was reminded, she moved on from it suspiciously quickly.

The only logical explanation for this is that Sophie is not fully human. She can experience small amounts of guilt due to her human heritage but she cannot experience overwhelming amounts of it. That would explain how she was able to live in the human world for a long time then never experience guilt.

The only flaw in my argument is that Sophie has never actually done anything that would make her feel guilty if she was never aware that she was hurting other people. If she chooses to be willfully ignorant of it or does not know the full scope of it, then she would never experience a mind break. In that case, Sophie would be an elf.

The only male human character we are introduced to is Sophie’s human father and the man in London. If he is a human, it is likely the latter.

Interesting! I've talked about this idea slightly before, but never as in depth as you've presented it. I do find the idea compelling, though there are aspects that don't quite mesh for me and I'm on the edge.

One other flaw I find with your argument is that Mr. Forkle did tell Sophie that she was 100% elf in book 2, so if we take him at his word there then she can't be half-human. However, he was in the middle of reassuring her she wasn't half-horse and isn't above lying, so there is that. Figured it was worth measuring.

Aside from that, I do find this theory intriguing. Sophie has felt strangely in the middle of two different worlds, reminding herself she never really belonged in the human world and telling herself the elven one, even as confusing as it can be to her, is where she belongs. Being half-human, she'd have the connection to her childhood that really gives her a place there, and I think it would offer comfort to know she did belong, even if not entirely. And it could also free her from the stressors of trying to find her place, knowing that there's never been anyone like her before so she can make her place, not try and find it, if that makes sense.

I've often wondered about guilt in the elven world, though. Alden's shattering was from a significant situation, breaking a mind and ruining lives when he wasn't sure it was worth it. But even that took over a decade to truly break him. So while Sophie has undoubtedly felt guilt before, given her mental fortitude I doubt instances like lying or being in a bad mood are enough to break her.

I wonder if the attitude towards guilt--"don't think about that!" "don't feel guilty!" "guilt is dangerous!"--makes it seem like guilt is more risky than it is simply because they don't actually know the limits and can't fix it, so they're super cautious about it just in case. Because elves have felt guilt without breaking, that's just how emotions work. So there's some boundary, some amount and some length of time, but they don't know it. So they're careful.

In that case, Sophie wouldn't have to be human or anything non-elf, as she hasn't been exposed to significant, prolonged guilt or violence that would break her. She could be on her way towards a break, but she has a strong mind, so it could be another decade or so before it really sets in. It's only been about two years since things really started getting violent and graphic, so if we use Alden as a measure, there's still time.

I do agree that if it is a human, it's probably Ethan. That would be more impactful than some other random human introduced, even if we aren'y very familiar with him.

Anyway, my point is that this theory is interesting and I wouldn't be upset if this is what turned out to be canon! There's a lot of potential here, though I do think it would need some explanation to make it truly work. Either way, thanks for sharing!

#kotlc #kotlc theories #quil's queries #thepinkdove #my apologies for letting this one sit a while #you sent two about her father that kind of focus on different things so I wasn't sure which order to tackle them in #and then stellarlune came out and even though this doesn't have any spoilers #talking about father theories without a tag made it clear that her father wasn't discovered. and that in its own way was a spoiler #so I wanted to wait a little bit #thank you for your patience!#long post

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samanddeanloveeachothersomuch · 2 years

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Opinion #31

Sam and Dean tend to only have romantic relationships when one of them isn't around. (Not like one-night stands. Like actual relationships. I think whoever said this said it the best: "sex is sex and love is Sam." I'd argue this would go for Sam as well not counting actual romantic relationships where again the other brother isn't there. )

Dean and Cassie were together for a while when Sam was at Stanford. Sam was with Jess while at Stanford. Dean went to Lisa because Sam asked him to.

Sam went to Amelia because he needed someone to help him after the loss of Dean. (Ruby doesn't count as a love interest for Sam. She is an entirely different conversation that I will probably write one day.) Dean also had Jo but nothing really came out of that except the kiss when she was dying. Sam had Eileen but it was only because of Chuck's manipulations. Sam left Sarah after one episode in season 2 and of course he had to kill Madison.

Now, this is in part because of the hunting lifestyle. That's why Eileen is a bit more feasible because she understands the life. (Of course, by that time Sam wouldn't have left Dean anyway.) But it's also because their most committed relationship is each other. They didn't know most of these people long enough to "love" them and love is extremely convoluted I think as far as Sam and Dean are concerned.

Dean tends to put all other relationships on one level except his relationship with Sam. His relationship with Sam is more resolute and permanent. Seen as an absolute thing which is why it upsets him so much when it's in jeopardy. Sam is pretty much the same way.

In Dean's head it's Sam first and then everyone else. (Of course, some people are higher up in the hierarchy but Sam is up top.) When push comes to shove there really wasn't a moment when that wasn't the case as Dean tells him in the season 8 finale. Sam is the same way with Dean up top. Even at Stanford, if there was an "If Jess or Dean was about to die and I could only save one" scenario, He'd pick Dean. (Not saying that's who Dean would want him to pick or that that would ever happen but my point remains.)

Technically in canon, he did pick Dean over Jess. He decided to go with Dean to look for their dad even though he was having dreams of her dying. He didn't know for sure that something would happen to her of course. He didn't know the dreams were visions at that time but even so he must have known that something could potentially happen and he still chose to go with Dean even if it was only for a short time. (He even said he could meet up with him after his law interview was done to keep looking.)

They are incapable of having long-term relationships besides each other. Unless of course, it is a friendship they are both involved in like Cass. (Although, that didn't end very well.) (Their relationship with their mom and dad or parent figures are different but obviously, those people aren't more important to them than each other.) Benny, Dean actually cut ties with for Sam and Sam did the same with Amelia. If that doesn't tell you that they are only committed to each other I don't know what does.

I think this would stem from their childhood. It was only them and their dad as kids and when their dad wasn't around it was just them. Dean many times had to be a parent (You could argue about how much Dean actually raised him but it is a canonical thing in the show. For example, "The Dean who raised me." That was in season 15 and also Dean's season 12 monologue to Mary), brother, and best friend as well when they were growing up. Sam was kid, brother, and best friend to Dean.

Of course, this shifted a bit when they got older and Sam became an equal. They're still best friends and brothers, and you have the soulmate aspect as well. (Which was there when they were kids too but hypothetically the "soulmate" aspect would be things that only happened when they were adults like Dean selling his soul.) The parent-child relationship shifted a bit but I do think it didn't go away completely. Dean definitely still sees Sam as a kid enough to stop him from going to apocalypse world because he is trying to protect him. He is also parental in other ways like asking if Sam's going to be able to sleep. ( Sam does a similar thing with Dean's cholesterol as well.)

They are also "partners" in the sense that they are in a committed relationship where they get things that would be fulfilled by a romantic relationship with each other. They have trust. (I know there were certain times they felt like they couldn't trust each other but overall they do have trust. I'd also argue even in those times if push comes to shove they would trust each other.)

They have love of course, they have companionship, they take care of each other and once the bunker comes along they have stability and domesticity. They emotional part is also covered by each other. That is of course where the QPR comes in. They also work together every day so they are partners in that sense as well.

Sam and Dean are everything to each other and they fulfill every platonic role possible. I've said this plenty of times before but I think it's really cool how Supernatural turned around and said hey platonic love can be the most important relationship in someone's life. Your soulmate can be your brother.

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writefightandflightclub · 2 years

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Hi! I was wondering how would Nathan act with someone who is very different from him. Like you're supposed to live together and be around each other 24/7 and while it's all for work-related reasons, you also have a lot of time to get to know each other. And you are not very talkative, more introverted, and definitely too shy and innocent to be around Nathan. He starts to notice that the more you hang out together. One time, during dinner, after he makes a lewd comment about Kyoko, he doesn't miss the blush on your cheeks and how you look down at your plate for the rest of the meal. So just imagine how many other funny/embarassing scenarios could happen between the two of you...Nathan would have the time of his life teasing you

Here’s a thing for you!

Warnings: mentions of vibrators (for science), ofc anyone can use a vibrator but it may be more relatable in some cases for fem!reader even though it’s written as GN (no pronouns, gendered language or body descriptions), innuendo, crude comments, flirting, a kiss or two.

GIF by @damerondjarin 🧡🧡🧡🧡

Dinner < Dessert (Nathan Bateman x shy!GN!reader)

“Did you bring a vibrator with you?” Nathan asks casually, forking a sliver of steak into his mouth.

Wait, what? Even though you’ve come to expect the unexpected with Nathan, you almost choke on your own mouthful of food.

Your cheeks seethe with heat, and you don’t quite know where to look. Anywhere but at him though.

Nathan, meanwhile, carries on supping wine as though he’s oblivious to your plight.

Clearly, he doesn’t get why you would be embarrassed. At all. The man has no filter, and he’s hardly backwards about coming forwards - especially when it comes to topics of a sexual nature.

Finally, however, when you don’t answer back he seems to figure out that the topic is a little out of your comfort zone. “Come on, honey,” he says matter-of-factly. “I only said the word.” But then, his voice dips lower. “It’s not like I asked you for a demonstration.”

The searing heat travels further, down your neck and chest and you take a long sip of your water, draining the glass and wishing all the while that it was opaque so you could better hide behind it.

“I’m just curious,” he defends, with a sweep of his hand through the air. “I’ve been thinking I could shortcut some stuff with the bots if I had an existing mechanism to work from.”

You splutter on your drink, thinking about what in the hell he’s trying to invent now. About how he might… test that out. He tends to self-insert himself into these types of experiments. Very literally, judging by that unfortunate time you’d walked in on him.

“Doesn’t matter if you didn’t,” he dismisses, and by this point you’re extremely conscious you haven’t managed to say a single thing yet. “I’ll get my pal Bezos to expedite me one from the mainland. Want anything adding to the order while I’m at it?”

You make a strangled noise in your throat, still reeling, and even so, you consider that meagre effort a success compared with prior attempts.

You look down at your plate, suddenly intent on sawing up your veggies into ever smaller pieces and trying to ignore the way your body feels - like it’s about to shake apart or melt through your shoes.

“I am curious though,” he probes in a dark tone, incapable of leaving anything well alone. “Did you?” Hell, you know that follow-up question is emphatically not for “science”.

“No,” you finally respond, scraping some broccoli around your plate in a highly convoluted path to your mouth. “I didn’t.”

Then, you make the mistake. Of looking up at him. You find his eyes hooded and sparking with interest, one thick eyebrow sweeping up as he blinks at you -once, slow- from beneath his lenses. “Okay. So… what? Do you just use your fingers?”

You think you might pass out, and as a hefty dose of adrenaline -and other things besides- throbs through you you stand abruptly, seeing no other option but to get out of there before you literally swoon and fall to the floor like a lump of lead.

“I’m going to finish this up in the lab, Nathan,” you croak thinly.

“Okay,” he says, and if you weren’t a mess of racing heartbeat and shaky legs you might have noticed how dejected he suddenly sounded when he asked his next question. “You don’t wanna watch that anime again with me tonight?”

“No, I don’t think so, Nathan,” you dismiss, barrelling out of there as fast as your unsure legs will carry you.

***

It goes on like this.

Whenever you’re left alone with Nathan for too long (you’re the only person here, so that happens a LOT), at some stage, invariably, you always end up needing to excuse yourself - before you combust.

You feel badly afterward too. Guilty. Feel upset at the thought he’ll begin to think you detest his company, when in fact -all quirks considered- the opposite is true.

You don’t want to seem rude. It’s just… you get so shy and flustered that you don’t see any remaining option in life but to bail. It’s something you’ve always been super conscious about. You wish you could be bright and breezy around him. Could be chill. Be one of those people who could fire back and get just as dirty and flirty with him without even batting an eye. But… that’s just not you.

And, that is very much him.

Sometimes, when he’s keeping things PG, you can forget yourself and have a really great conversation with him. No flight response activated. He even listens attentively, which had surprised you at first.

But, then things inevitably turn crude. Or, he’ll -and maybe this is worse- start to flirt? At least, you think it’s flirting, hope it’s flirting, and you hate yourself for running away from his advances. You hate the thought that if you deny him enough, he might give up on you, because you sure as hell won’t dare to make a move on him. Could never. He makes you so shy.

So, resigned already to the fact you’ll probably need to scarper before desert, you sit down to dinner with Nathan the following night, this one thing the constant in your varied routine with him at the compound.

As the conversation progresses, you note that the usual nerves haven’t crept in yet. Not like usual. That you feel bizarrely relaxed, enjoying your food and commenting idly on the wine and the dish he cooked up.

You barely feel awkward at all, and you suddenly understand why as you look up at Nathan, his mouth tugging into a thin, soft smile beneath that glorious raven beard.

You feel fine… Because Nathan hasn’t said a word yet.

“Are you alright?” you ask in alarm when that fact registers.

“Mmm-hmm,” he says with brevity. “Carry on.” Then, he nods softly to encourage you. “Tell me what you think so I can prove you wrong later.” A playful, challenging smirk skews his lips.

Nathan nods softly once more to encourage you, and, tentatively you take the floor, leaning into this rare chance to let loose a little. To share your new theories with him. To tell him about your walk earlier. To talk about… whatever comes to mind. And, all the while, Nathan’s big brown eyes are soft as you talk, flitting gently and contentedly between you and his plate. His body language indicating an ease. Even an enjoyment?

Eventually though, you have to ask, and you set your cutlery down on your plate. “No crude topics of conversation in mind today, Nate? What’s going on?”

He doesn’t answer immediately, instead taking a drawn-out moment to sip his red wine, rolling it over his tongue while he thinks. “No,” he concedes, in earnest. “As much as I enjoy flustering you - seeing how fucking cute you get - turns out I don’t like eating dinner alone anymore. Figured today I’d keep my mouth shut and take my chances.”

You nod as you process all that, butterflies exploding in your tummy when he calls you cute your overwhelming takeaway. That familiar heat sinks into your skin, but this time you make a particular effort to breathe through it. “Oh. You noticed that, huh?”

“That you’re cute?” he adds without missing a beat. “Well, duh.”

You can’t hold back a bashful grin. “That you… Um. F-fluster me?” You wrap a hand around the back of your neck and rub there nervously, your skin feeling clammy in that familiar way.

Nathan’s tongue skims out along his lower lip and he nods silently, an unusually subdued smugness flowering in his blown-out obsidian eyes. “Me, huh? It’s not just everything that embarrasses you?”

“Honestly? Mainly just you, Nathan,” you admit, feeling some relief at getting this all out in the open rather than trying to hide it, and looking up at him from beneath your lashes.

From the proud spark in his eyes, you surmise that he doesn’t seem to hate that. Not at all.

Then: “fuck,” you suspire from out of nowhere, trying to get your barrelling nerves in check as Nathan looks at you like that. As you finally manage to bask in it for a moment rather than running away.

“I’ve never heard you curse,” Nathan adds with interest. “Thought you were too innocent for that.”

“Not innocent,” you protest boldly. “Just a little shy.”

Nathan’s eyebrow sweeps up and he leans forward on to his elbows, bringing his face closer to yours towards the centre of the intimately-sized dinner table. “There’s a difference, huh?” he asks in a low, gritty rumble, his gaze dropping to your lips.

“Fuck,” you breathe again, apparently having opened a floodgate of expletives tonight, and Nathan draws very deliberately back from you, pushing out his chair and coming to standing.

“Jeez. More cursing? I can’t take this deplorable filth,” he says playfully. “I’m going to eat my dinner in the lab.”

“Nathan!” You laugh brightly as he commits to his bit. “Come back!”

“Yeah?” he asks huskily as he turns back towards you, seeing you standing by the table now.

Still, much of the confidence you’d felt in your surge to standing evaporates the moment his dark eyes land back on you. You wring your hands in front of you and shrink yourself a little even as Nathan appreciatively drinks you in. “Yeah.” You puff out a laugh, looking down at his feet. “Turns out I don’t like to eat dinner alone either.” You take a deep breath. “Not when there’s a better option.”

He sets his plate back down on the table. Shuffles a step or so closer, his head tilting slightly to the side. “Coulda fooled me.”

“I know,” you offer in apology. “I suck, right?”

“Fuck no,” he says adamantly. “You’re fucking adorable.” His praise makes you feel giddy. “Everybody’s wired different. Trust me. I should know.”

Nathan takes one more tentative step closer.

You don’t hate it.

Still, looking at his bulked and pleasing form before you, you’re having some very crude thoughts right about now, and so you suddenly find yourself wishing for the x-rated Nathan to come back.

But… Maybe you can help with that. You take a leap. “Did your… vibrator arrive?”

“No. It didn’t. I tweeted Bezos for a public apology. His stock is tanking,” Nathan says, but his eyes are busy with thoughts and you can tell he could care less about what he’s actually saying. “There’s a ton of Buzzfeed articles speculating on my sex life.”

“Uh huh. Well… If there are no vibrators around, what am I going to use instead?”

Nathan curls his tongue up around his top lip as he struggles to hold his words in. God. You don’t think you’ve ever witnessed Nathan hold anything back in his life.

“It’s okay,” you sing-song, arching an eyebrow. “You can be crude.”

He takes another step towards you, his broad hand settling around your waist and drawing your body to his.

“Well,” he purrs, angling his hips against yours. “You’ll have to use my fingers, I guess.”

Fuuuuuuck.

It’s a damn good job he’s holding on to you. But even so, you might be out of your depth all over again. “Oh God. I can’t,” you cave, as a seething embarrassment ebbs through you, and you bury your face into Nathan’s chest to spare yourself.

However, he doesn’t seem to mind. He simply chuckles warmly, his chest shaking beneath you.

“Want me to stop talking again, honey?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Okay then, cutie. You gotta find a way to shut me up.”

You know exactly what he’s getting at, and you can feel your heart hammering in your chest. You feel like running again. You might have, but Nathan’s hand is gentle but firm at your back. Reassuring and warm. His beard is brushing against your cheek and you can’t for the life of you pull away from the feel and textures of him. You don’t want to.

So, you finally manage to drag your eyes up to look at him. “Yeah?” you ask shyly. “Like with a kiss?”

Nathan’s mouth slips into a lopsided flash of teeth as he comes up with a whole raft of other ideas, but before he can speak, you slant your mouth against his, lips meeting in a warm, eager crush. Your tongue delves keenly between his parted lips, and you taste him, the kiss only subsiding when Nathan breaks for air, already panting with heavy, ragged breaths after mere moments of you working him up.

“You might be sweet but you kiss like a fucking sinner, honey. Fuck me that was hot.”

Feeling a rush of confidence all of a sudden, you grin deviously at him. “Oh, baby,” you sing-song, with a playful, patronising edge. “You’re so cute when you’re all flustered.”

Nathan grunts and brings you back to his lips for another hungry, devouring kiss, and warm honey sinks all the way through you as you tongue his delicious smile, feeling the scrape and brush of his beard against you. That proud nose nudging against your cheek. His hands slipping…

Oh.

Suddenly, you’re not feeling quite so shy. “Hey, Nathan,” you breathe. “How about dessert?”

You tear a moan from his mouth as he walks you back towards the couch. “So. Fucking. Cute.” He intones, punctuated by confident licks into your mouth.

This. This is better. After all, you’ve eaten dinner alone for so long. Maybe today, desert can be something you enjoy together.

#Nathan Bateman x reader #Oscar Isaac

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furiousgoldfish · 3 years

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I haven't been writing a lot lately because my recovery has been taking a wild turn and in lack of anyone to talk to or therapy, I'll be writing about it here! I'll put it under a cut. There are some descriptions of recovery going very wrong, and also explanations of things I was wrong about.

So since the pandemic started I've been deteriorating badly, first I've been processing trauma extensively, having intense breakdowns and gradually it turned into depression from lack of stimulation, I've been completely alone for months without speaking to, or seeing anyone. I thought it was the isolation getting to me, and decided I just need to endure that, indulge in whatever coping I could and wait for it to end. And then things got worse.

Even as normally I was seeing some very slow progress in recovery; now it was going backwards; I was having less and less ability to get anything done, I wasn't able to force myself to do my job for months, I kept getting stuck in bed for weeks, chronic pain got so bad I couldn't move on most days. And, it only kept going worse.

My breakdowns stared to be about the present instead of the past; I couldn't handle being in pain all the time. As in before I would recover from a breakdown within a day or two, now it took 4 days to a week, and the trauma episodes would last for hours, so intense I'd find myself hoping I would die during it.

And then, I started losing all mobility and this seriously freaked me out. Everything above I've already experienced before, without long term consequences, but now my body was losing function in a way that felt permanent; I could no longer move for more than few minutes, and without extensive pain. Sometimes I would try to get up and end up collapsing and screaming from how much it hurt, I would move my arm and my whole body would experience a shock of intense pain. I was scared, I no longer knew what was going on, I was suspecting something more than ptsd was wrong. I've forced myself into physical activity, trying to fight this, I tried stretching, exercising, running, punching, and every single one of these activities made it incredibly worse. I thought I had broken my body by laying down too much. I no longer felt anything but terror and dread, and kept spiralling into scenarios of my own death; it felt inevitable, I wasn't going to survive without ability to move, nobody would take care of me.

I tried out medicine that helps relaxing, it had minimal effect. Then, in desperation to check if this was all ptsd, I attempted self harm, to see if it erases the pain. It did. It lowered the pain significantly It was a big relief, even though I wasn't happy with resorting to that, at least I could move around for a while, and I was grateful for that. Times couldn't be more desperate, and the measure felt fitting. I was still in a very bad shape, and the pain was only somewhat lessened.

It was about that time someone sent me the Complex PTSD book; I had wanted it for a while and immediately went to read it. I felt some relief reading it, and I was struck with the realization that I have not felt any relief in more than a year. It also surprised me with some of the exact descriptions of my behaviour, that I didn't realize was a symptom. I thought it was necessary and smart of me to live in hiding, to avoid interaction and never connect to anyone; it kept me safe. It turns out it's a regular freeze response to trauma; I got very called out for it. It also explains that a freeze response is what people use when anything else doesn't work, and it's true! I had been fighting, fawning and perfecting myself desperately prior to realizing that absolutely nothing helps, and froze to survive. It also described that freeze types are capable of surviving prolonged isolation because their brains produce hormones that relax the body as if they're going thru a moment before death; also true for me, I've been aware my brain does that, only I get that way too often, and it only helps me marginally because I'm too used to it.

Another thing I was very wrong about was my concept of my inner critic; I thought I had already won that battle, because I did not allow any voice in my head to criticize me (my alters can drag me affectionately), and I generally didn't experience a lot of shame or guilt for what I was going thru. The book describes inner catastrophizer, which is an extention of the critic, and it causes you to spral into extremely negative scenarios of your own demise. Now that.. was happening to me every single day, I saw myself dead around every corner. But I always thought my fears about that were perfectly reasonable. I had been tortured into suicidal state as a kid and nobody cared, I barely escaped with my life from there, I was living illegally, in hiding, without a normal job or regular income, without close friends or any family, with ptsd i couldn't get diagnosed for, without ability to work due to ptsd, in a capitalistic society where being able to work is only thing between you and dying. I had, by that point, gained many skills of survival, but it still felt very reasonable to fear that I would die if I don't get better soon.

The book described people who had families, jobs, social circles, friends and community, who spiraled into deep fear of becoming homeless and dying on the street; somehow their spiraling was exactly the same as mine, and it made me realize that it was, in fact, a symptom, and not reflection of reality. Because I was spiraling even when laying in my bed or eating or sleeping, knowing I could still afford rent for months because I arranged my life to allow myself to lay down a lot. I kept fearing my parents were coming to end my life, even when I arranged my entire existence specifically to prevent this from happening. And even if I was sick and without a real job, I had in fact, survived for 5 years after running away, I wasn't getting worse at it. My spiraling into death scenarios was a symptom of being trapped within a flashback.

The book guided me to try to challenge these fears, I immediately went for it, had a breakdown, screamed "I can't" for like an hour, had additional few breakdowns afterwards, and miraculously, recovered from them in only few hours. And then, I woke up from my flashback.

I won't describe what the flashback was, because it's too gruesome and horiffic, but it was in fact, bad enough to warrant every single bit of that pain I was experiencing, and a very convoluted, complex trauma. I was waiting to be killed in that flashback. Whats concerning is, I've been trapped in that same flashbacks for more than a year. After I broke my way out of it, it felt like I woke up to being alive for the first time in years. I got out being frozen in bed.

For 5 amazing days, I was able to do whatever I wanted. Chronic pain? I didn't know her. It was absoluely exhilirating to get to move again, I was not getting tired either, I was out there making up for months of doing nothing and I was not collapsing at any point. I felt actual joy again, and hope, and being free from pain was so extremely good, that alone made me ecstatic. I was able to create, to be organized, to take care of myself, to follow a checklist, to focus, I was a Normal Person for those 5 days.

And then, predictably, I was getting back stuck in that flashbacks and my levels of terror and dread spiked again. I went to re-read the book, and it took me a few days to really figure it out again, I don't know exactly how the book works on me, I feel like it says just the right keywords to trigger me into realizations and causes breakdowns that set me free. I found myself able to stop some spiraling, but sometimes I can't, that flashback holds immense power over me and is actually mixed with 10 other near-death scenarios that are too extreme for me to process, so this will keep happening. I did break free again, and got to experience additional few days of movement and happiness; I also started working extensively with my child alter, who was until recently extremely suicidal and dangerous to work with.

I am still kinda lost in all of this, and unsure whats going on, but I do believe I wont get trapped in a flashback again for a whole year. I became so anxious and helpless due to isolation, I forgot how to fight trauma, I forgot I actually had to do it. I used to do it constantly in the beginning, but it had made me suicidal back then to face all this, so I tried to just let it heal naturally, which I believed would eventually happen; but it didn't, I got trapped and suffered without knowing how to get out. I also believed my own spiraling was a reflection of reality and not trauma, and that fueled it a lot.

It explains very eloqently in the book how inner catastrophizing comes from being massively neglected; children who are not looked after start to realize just how unprotected they are, so their own sense of danger becomes hypersensitive and starts to lock on possible dangers everywhere. This is then further aided by media that points out every possible bad thing that could happen to a person, and the child who isn't guided by adult who could actually make a reasonable distinction between real and unlikely danger, will clock it all as absolute possibilities and be on alert. It's also fueled by the line of disasters and dangers that happen to them in the context of their own home, and for me, the strongest factor was my parents constantly convincing me that I would die without them. Even though I proved this wrong, and understand they did it precisely because they knew there was a lot of survival ability in me and that's why they worked so hard to destroy it, the fact that it was brainwashed into me under circumstances of torture still makes it impossible for me to fight it.

Maybe one day I will be able to.

I'm writing this because writing things down helps to make sense of it all, and I need to find my way thru this. I also hope someone else will see themselves in what I'm describing and it will help them find a way forward. Complex ptsd is the only book I found that speaks from the point of view of a person who survived cptsd, healed from it, and had so much experience with other traumatized people they're able to draw parallels and create patterns and statistics out if it, it was that more than anything that convinced me of their words, and gave me hope. The book also warns many times of how essential it is to reduce inner critic and catastrophizer before getting other recovery work done, other therapy might only do further harm before this work is done. It was true for me.

If you wanna read this book, here's a post with the links!

#cptsd #complex ptsd #ptsd recovery #tw self harm #story of recovery #trauma #abuse recovery #trauma symptoms #chronic pain #chronic exhaustion #freeze response

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kentonwrites · 3 years

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Hiemal Update #2

So, I’ve been working on this draft for exactly 3 weeks (2 weeks actually since I was at the beach in between) and my current word count is 20,712. I’m like shearing through it at the speed of light.

Don’t let that fool you though, there have been some major obstacles along the way. Several times I wasn’t happy with the draft and I would abandon it for a day, just to come back the next. It’s been a productive writing sprint, but not exactly a smooth one.

In previous renditions of this book, there were 3 parts. I’ve gotten rid of the part system for this draft, but where I’m at now is essentially the end of part 1. Since I’m going to be extremely busy over the next few months, I wanted to finish at this natural stopping point so I can go back and leisurely edit what I’ve written instead of worrying about drafting part 2 just yet (I might get to that during NaNoWriMo!). A few issues I’ve noticed need addressed during my editing phase are:

1. Like always, it’s severely underwritten, scenes are thin, etc. I’m expecting to add at least another 5k to part 1. I know it’s probably going to end up being a shorter novel (70-75k?) but right now I feel like the chapter arcs are too rushed.

2. There’s one chapter in particular (a flashback) that I am not happy with whatsoever, and I need to make the decision to either cut it and revise the chapters in the present, or just improve the chapter/its place in the narrative.

3. Cleaning up misc. awkward phrasing/line edit because my first drafts read convoluted as hell.

4. I’m still a little shaky on the protagonist, Torr. I’m pantsing/discovery writing a good bit of this draft, and because of that the personalities of the characters now are sometimes unaligned with how they were in previous drafts. I don’t exactly know if this is a bad thing yet--it could just be because I see how different they are and automatically assume it is. I think Torr is more active now as well as intensely cerebral, and a more compelling protagonist. In my old version a big problem was Torr just existing and reacting to bad things that happened to her. In this version she gets to go out and experience things/make decisions. She feels much more mature, I think. I’m going to keep an eye on her.

Overall I’m content with how it’s gone thus far. I think once I’ve edited part 1 it might end up being one of the best things I’ve ever written, and since I haven’t been involved in writing for such a long time that feels great. It feels so new and different and experimental.

Excerpts!

From chapter 14, “Smokee the Owlet”

I hadn’t planned to write this at all, it just came out randomly and I love it. It shows spiritually-conflicted Torr at her most unhinged. Content warning for self-harm/cutting.

Over the coming weeks I habitually trespassed the chapel. I returned several commentaries I’d finished, I prostrated before the altar, I replayed the scenario over and over again, modifying my actions until I was the heroine. I prayed to no avail. I prayed aloud to no avail. I held the chalice high above my head and asked God to shatter it at my whim, spritz my hair with glassdust. I paced the aisle reading Wisdom. I paced the chancel reading Van’s textbook. I pried a shard of tinted glass from an alcove and dragged its edge up my ulna and dripped the silvery blood on the podium, like it would rejuvenate the Spirit of God in this place, like the reredos would open a portal to the astral realms of Enoch. Each night I traipsed through the snow toward home, embarrassed beyond belief.

From chapter 17, “The Man in the Window”

This plot-line was never part of any old versions. I completely improvised it and it’s one of my favorite things ever. Torr is blackmailed into visiting the “town hermit,” a disfigured man who lurks in his window. This is a description of what she enters to:

I broke my grasp on the knob and ambled, knees stiff, beneath the entryway. My heart fluttered. The kitchen walls bristled with steel weaponry: maces, flails, morningstars, an enormous battleaxe. A harpoon taller than me mounted across the window. Wicked bludgeons, rusting spears, ulus, pikes, hammers and scythes. A grizzly leghold trap mawed over my head. Blades and serrated arrowheads on each square inch of wallspace. I turned to bolt, heat flushing my face, the safety net gone, plunged into animal fear. He shouted to stop.

“They’re not for you,” he said.

From chapter 18, “What I Did After Reading Matthew 5-7″

This chapter was also never in the plan. It’s formatted as a list, detailing how Torr’s behavior changes for the better (and worse) after reading the famous Sermon on the Mount.

I shed my coat, my underclothes. Giddy at such an altitude, at such a slant. I sat in the roots and prickling thistles, laid supine, sunlight white on my chest and legs. Light snowfall down the valley; it clung to my lashes. I gazed up at the high blue cirrus, shivering, nauseous with the gravity, then at peace.

And, if that seemed strange, don’t worry--at the end of the chapter:

I asked myself who this person was, the one who thought about Christ and got naked in boreal forests.

See, she’s self-aware!

Lastly, from chapter 19, “Liminal Theologians”

I had an entirely different plan for this chapter from the start. Since the majority of part 1 is Torr off on her own, I wanted part 1 to end showing her relationship with her two friends, Van and Nik, since they’re instrumental in part 2 and especially in part 3. In this chapter they all go down to a bridge, fish, and talk about conspiracies. Unbeknownst to Torr (and me) one of them has brought alcohol. This excerpt is of Torr going on a drunken, TMI rant about her life:

“I feel like there’s a lot nobody knows about me,” I continued. “I think about a lot of stuff all the time. I do weird things now. Well they’re not weird. They’re beautiful sometimes. I actually don’t know if I believe in God actually. Why am I the only one in the whole world asking the questions? And it’s all buzzing up here in my head and I have no one to share it with and I want to just scream do you know?”

“Torr,” Van said. “You have to stop.”

I’m going to take Van’s advice and stop this update before it gets too long. I hope you enjoyed! I’m not sure when the next update will be but stay tuned!

#writing #write #My writing #writers on tumblr #writing update #hiemal #first draft #excerpt #excerpts #literary #literary fiction #wip #my wip #imagery

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macarensesangles · 3 years

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ive been sitting here reading an article about titles and class/occupation in the victorian era which has elucidated some things i hadnt really consciously noticed so ill have to make a few adjustments to my writing. Luckily this is before i got really into these details so i can iron them out before they become relevant

also i just realized um, if youve been reading the fic up to this point these are massive spoilers potentially? a lot of stuff i post here is spoilers? does anyone care about spoilers for that fic? anyway it’s long so it’s under a cut

anyway, if i wanted therese to be a Lady she could not also be a doctor. the primary hallmark of being a Gentleman or Lady was apparently that you did not do absolutely jack shit or fuck for your money. but she could still easily be like, notably wealthy/upper middle class, and tbh i like that better. so she’s just a doctor with some serious cash, who raised her son all posh with her surgeon money. queen

i already fully expected this, but i like having it confirmed that like, the rake would ABSOLUTELY be looked down on once he enters society because he had to work to get where he is. the term “self-made man” was apparently disparaging even into the 1900s in britain, so that’s a fun little tidbit. i also think he’s the kind of guy that would be like, really resistant to a lot of the trappings of status he dislikes but that are considered necessary. he wouldn’t want servants, for example, even after Making It Big. “oi! i don’t want no bloody strangers in me ‘ouse! i’ll make me own tea so i will!” and so on

also. one element of the story that i really WANTED was the composer’s dad deciding to pass his title to the composer as opposed to the libertine, even though the libertine is older and legitimate, because he’s extremely guilty about how he abandoned the composer and his mom. i knew from the beginning that’s not how titles actually work, of course, but the more i think about it the more i realize it’s convoluted and dumb. the better idea is for the composer’s dad try to set up a situation that sees the composer granted a new peerage, which would be the most unintentionally backhanded insult i could imagine in this scenario. and so funny. the composer spends his adult life seething that he can’t have his dad’s title, gets a title, and then proceeds to STILL get snubbed by the peers because he has a new peerage, which is tacky apparently. he would be so fucking incomprehensibly furious

anyway this ties perfectly into a plot point i already had in the works. the composer doesn’t exactly have the money to support a title, but the rake is newly loaded and enjoying the benefits of a title in his husband’s right would be a step up for him. so.....MARRIAGE OF PRACTICALITY! MARRIAGE OF PRACTICALITY! MARRIAGE OF PRACTICALITY, BABY!!!!! this is even something that happened back then, with english nobles marrying wealthy americans just to have the money to support their fucking absurd lifestyles and care for the estates that were part of their titles. i had been struggling so long on the particulars of that but it makes SO much sense for this to be the arrangement. get that sweet sweet penny dreadful cash mr composer! for your tacky new-baron lifestyle!

#fallen london au tag

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parachutingkitten · 4 years

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Dear Ninjago: Stop It With The Twists Already

An essay by Parachutingkitten

JK! This isn’t that formal. But I do have some lengthy points for you under the cut :)

Ninjago started out with a twist. The whole first season is built around the green ninja twist and the second season kinda subverted the expectation we had built up of Lloyd fighting his dad. This is the last time we had a twist framed as a sort of “big reveal” to both the audience and characters that really served the story in a productive and meaningful way. Let’s look the highlights over the seasons, shall we?

Season 4: Skylor is a villain. This one gets revealed to the audience before the ninja so it’s not really a big reveal twist, more of a suspense thing.

Season 5: Nya is the water ninja, revealed at the beginning of the season and serves more as a development than a twist.

Season 7: Ray and Maya are alive (and aren’t evil... I guess?)! This is our first real stupid twist. And pointless twist. They stick around for the season and then disappear from the show again. This was the first time Ninjago had a twist for twist’s sake. This is the beginning of the problem.

Season 8: Pixal is Samurai X! Wu is a baby! Harumi is the Quiet One! (I know this one isn’t cannon, but they were troublingly close to including it) Mr. E is Echo! Now, most of these are okay. Just not handled well. This is where the problem becomes evident.

Season 11: Zane is the Ice Emperor. The stupidest twist of them all, and by far handled the poorest.

Now. Why do some of these more recent twists not work? Well, let’s break it down.

Sometimes the problem is the twist itself. The twist is convoluted, and retcons information we’ve known from before, or has underlying implications that make everything more complicated. Ray and Maya are a perfect example of this. It’s been established since the pilot episode that these two are dead. Kai and Nya grew up on their own. Wu had so much trust in Ray that he gave him the map to the golden weapons. Trying to make us think he was evil was just stupid. Ray and Maya also don’t do that much in the season, besides the whole drama and reveal aspect of the story. You easily could have had them be dead and still get everything done that you needed to plot wise. Maybe have even more time for Nya and Kai to bond as siblings. It just brings up so many questions. Or rather, the one main one of where have they been? Were they really enslaved for ALL THAT TIME?! That’s darker than them just being dead! And to add insult to injury, they don’t show up in the show ever again after this. This twist left no impact on the franchise. It was a complete waste.

Season 8 has a lot of twists, and this introduces the problem of execution. Baby Wu is the one reveal that works. It has proper build up, it makes sense in the narrative, they find out mid season, they piece it together in a pretty mundane scene, and while it is a large reveal moment, the writers assumed you’ve picked up the clues before the ninja have. Compare this to the Pixal reveal. Very similar set up. It ties up a mystery from last season at a similar point in the current season. But the difference is in how they treat it. Pixal has to confess to being Samurai X. No one figures it out. Everyone is shocked and surprised and it culminates in a big dramatic “how could you?! *gasp emoji*” fight scene. I’m sure most everyone knew Pixal was Samurai X even back in season 7. She disappears right as Samurai X enters the picture, it’s really not that hard to piece together. This should have been handled differently. The audience should have been told Pixal was Samurai X ahead of time. We should have gotten a few shots from her perspective. It should have been handled like, oh, idk, Nya’s reveal in season 1. The problem is that they kept it a secret to go for shock value even though it was an easy guess. It would have been much more character enriching if they just handled it like they did baby Wu. Harumi is a little more complicated. Technically, you could argue that her arc goes through season 9, and hence we did get the reveal mid story, even if not mid season. My problem is that before the reveal she’s just such a blah-bland character that you don’t really care about that much, so when the reveal happens, that’s the point where she gets interesting. Why waste the majority of a season carrying around this dead weight that you feel obligated to give screen time to while waiting for her to get interesting? So yeah, it could have been handled a lot better, but it’s nothing compared to the mind bending twist that almost happened.

Mr. E is Echo makes no sense. It just doesn’t. It’s a character from 2 seasons prior who was physically distant to the main cast, had no connection to the villains, was established as a character as being extremely sweet, pure, and kinda ineffective, and probably worst of all, doesn’t have memories of the main cast, and most of them don’t have memories of him. There is just SO MUCH they would have had to explain away. SO MUCH that doesn’t add up. SO MUCH the main cast would have to relearn that it really doesn’t make ANY sense. And what scared me when the season first came out was that it almost made it in to the season. It doesn’t make sense on ANY logical level, so the only reason you would have done this twist is because you thought it was clever and unexpected, and you wanted the shock value. Shock value is the wrong reason to do a twist.

But they did it again in season 11. They combined all of the problems with all of the previous twists, and mushed them together into the Zane is the Ice Emperor twist. Now, I would like to address @coleisunderrated‘s post about season 11 kinda killing Zane. It’s a good post, and another good lengthy rant to check out after this one if you’re in the mood. But a lot of the claims they made I think kinda missed the point about why this move didn’t work. They said Zane commit genocide (which I guess technically he kinda did, and even the people who were frozen were frozen for years. That's definitely not nothing) and that Zane still had some level of free will, so Vex can’t be an 100% scapegoat. So because Zane did this horrible thing, there is no chance for him to be redeemed. (Which I kinda see your point, but also, crazy staff that pretty much makes you evil, plus merciless manipulation. Cut him some slack. If Garmadon can be redeemed, so can Zane. Devourer venom and forbidden spinjitzu staff seem to have similar corrupting powers) And though I’d agree that as it stands in the show it feels like they’re ignoring all the awful things Zane’s done and that makes him a kind of a uncomfortable character at the moment- all the set up and what he did is not the problem. The problem is what he didn’t do, and what we didn’t see.

This twist starts at the beginning of the chapter, and finally resolves itself at the very end. The writers obviously thought that Zane being the villain, while having this weird unexplainable time skip made a solid, clever twist. Again, you can tell they were going for shock value and that *gasp emoji* “It’s YOU?!” moment. Problem with that relatively simple set up to keep your twist a secret, is that you now have 20 years of time to account for. Years of people suffering and time skips that are addressed, but are straight up never explained and don’t make any sense when you sit down to think about them for more than a second. These weird ripple effects ringing a bell? They’re the same sorts of retcon problems as the Ray and Maya twist. But that’s not all. It’s also frustratingly predictable. Even if you weren’t sure of your theory the first few episodes, it becomes increasingly clear as the season progresses. The audience doesn’t find out until the characters do, even thought it’s pretty predictable, missing out on a bunch of opportunities for better storytelling- just like the Samurai X reveal. The ice emperor is also kind of a boring character until the reveal, just like Harumi. And, maybe worst of all, it just seems like a clever shock value twist that raises a bunch of questions, doesn’t make sense in character, and needs a ton of explaining, just like the Mr. E scenario. This twist has every single problem I’ve ever had with any twist in this series.

But it even adds one more.

Even with all the random nonsensical twists in the series, at least all of them had time to resolve. To be explained. For characters to grapple with them. As random and poorly thought out as this ice emperor twist is, it would have been okay if it hadn’t been so very VERY rushed after the reveal. We needed to see his reaction after breaking free. That’s all we needed.

Imagine this, Zane breaks out of his evil daze, you can keep the kinda cop out reason, it’s a kid’s show, whatever. He looks down at himself and is horrified. He drops to his knees, mutters some line like “what have I done?” or something along those lines. Then, in anger, he looks back up at Vex, and then insert fight scene where he saves the day. Afterwards Zane tosses the staff away, and is in this weird daze as his friends welcome him back. The episode ends with the camera zooming in on Zane’s blank expression. But wait, there’s another episode afterwards where Zane can right his wrongs in the realm, talk with the people, and tie up all the other loose ends while finding himself again. The next season (and they might still be doing this in season 12, but without that initial reaction and remorse, this part rings kinda hollow) Zane is visibly a bit shaken by intense violence and has a talk with someone about the lasting effects of his 20 year rule. The end of the season sees him getting past this fear of hurting people in order to protect those he needs to. This all sounds very deep written out like this, but you could make the dilemma pretty surface level, and it would still be effective.

You see, the real problem with these half length episodes is that ALL of your plot lines have to reach their head, your big final battle has to take place, and your resolution has to happen, all in the last 10 minutes of the season. And you can really tell that season 11 skimped the resolution part. Because Zane only becomes Zane half way through the last episode, there’s no time to explore his feelings about the matter. Even just making the last episode 20 minutes, I feel, would have done wonders for this twist because everything would have had time to breath. This wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if this had carried over directly into season 12 (kind of like the season 8-9 thing) but that clearly isn’t the case, at least from the episodes we have so far. This emperor thing should affect Zane as much as becoming a ghost affected Cole. Things like this just need time to process. It wasn’t that making Zane the ice emperor made him unlikable, it was that ignoring that Zane was the ice emperor made him unlikable.

And all of these things, I can almost guarantee, happened because the writers just thought it would be a clever twist. It’s not like the writers can’t do twists! Skylor being evil was perfectly fine! Mistake being an Oni was even okay. But they had ideas for what to do with those bits of information after the reveal. They’ve got to stop with these reveals that are just there to be the *gasp emoji* moment. They’re not all bad ideas necessarily! But if you come up with the idea, just because it would be a cool reveal, and that’s it, then it’s likely not a good idea. For example, as nonsensical as the Echo thing is, if he had become a main stay of the series, and a reoccurring villain with backstory and motive that got explained, it might not have been the absolute worst. But if they did what they did in the show and just killed him off a few episodes later, it would have been pointless, because the twist would have made no impact, changed nothing, and had no point. The green ninja reveal was good, not because it was a reveal, but because it allowed Lloyd to be the green ninja in the episodes afterwards. It served as a progression for the story and characters while also happening to subvert this notion set up from episode 1 that one of the four would be the green ninja. Zane being the ice emperor is a bad twist because it affects absolutely nothing in the plot that follows. Zane is back to his happy quirky robot self in season 12, the status quo is restored, and nothing has changed.

The whole point of a twist is to switch your perspective of something, an action that instinctively insists change. A change in the world. A change in the situation. A change in character. Something. If a twist doesn’t insight change in your story, you’re doing your twist wrong.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to agree/disagree with me in the comments. I get that not everyone is going to agree that Zane could be redeemed no matter how they played it. Again, I think the almost mind control staff, matched with the manipulation, mind wipe, and fact that it’s a kid’s show, and they obviously didn’t mean for it to read that way, is enough for me to kinda ignore it cuz I love Zane, and Ninjago, and I’m not going to let one misstep kill my enjoyment of the show. But, I get it if you can’t get past it.

ttfn!

#ninjago #parachuterants #long one #but here it is

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philomaela · 4 years

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On the subject of the ending of 6x06.... ok so I want to separate this into two different things, 1) why from a practical, writing standpoint the story potentially happened the way it did and 2) what I got out of the end result (or rather... didn’t get out of it) on like a thematic level. I recognize that there is overlap between the two, I just find it helpful to separate them.

(under a cut because this is long... so long... why... am I like this.)

1) Ok so, personally I think the most important thing to keep in mind here is the prophecy that Lagertha will be killed by a son of Ragnar. Fun little fact about that... Hirst has stated he didn’t know which son of Ragnar was gonna kill Lagertha when he wrote that scene. I already guessed that, but it’s nice to have confirmation. From a writing POV... it is insane to me that you would create this situation for yourself. This wasn’t some vague purple prose, this was basically a multiple choice prophecy and considering you haven’t made a decision on where the story is gonna go, it feels like you’re creating an unnecessary hurdle for yourself. I would also argue... even if you don’t know where exactly you want to take these characters.... you can pretty easily see why certain scenarios would not be well received for a character like Lagertha. Basically, I think that that one bad decision had a ripple effect.

So, I’m going off of the assumption that Hirst did not know which Ragnarsson was going to kill Lagertha until he started writing season 6, ok? I feel like that’s reasonable to assume, given what he stated in the interview, even though I recognize it may turn out to be incorrect. But, from that perspective.... none of the Ragnarssons could kill Lagertha intentionally (excluding a mercy-kill rn, we’ll get back to that) considering what Hirst wanted to do with them in s6. Bjorn, Ubbe and Hvitserk are obviously the good guys, they cannot go against Lagertha who is framed as so morally good. Even Ivar would not work for this purpose in s6, considering s6 has been pretty committed to walking back Ivar’s extremism and coding as “the ultimate evil” hence the introduction of Oleg, Ivar’s relationship with Igor etc. So, Ivar can’t go against Lagertha while he’s being rehabilitated, unless the narrative acknowledges his cause as righteous... which it cannot do, because of how Lagertha needs to be framed by the story.

I also see Lagertha as being similar to Ragnar in the sense that their deaths cannot be about them being defeated. That’s why Ragnar masterminded his death, Aelle killed him... but Ragnar had the last laugh and it fulfilled his grand plan. But, Lagertha as a character is framed as more morally pure... so she can’t mastermind revenge from beyond the grave. By season 6... she is above taking revenge (yes, despite taking revenge in s4b), because at this point the show is actively stating that revenge is not a great thing. So, killing her accidentally but having her accept it with grace and wisdom... kind of fulfills that purpose in a very convoluted way. She has to be accepting of and fine with death... but at the same time I don’t think the story is willing to have her actively ask to die. Which is why I think the mercy-killing angle was not considered an option for her. I also think the show wanted her victory against Whitehair to be the episode in which she died, so practicality states that she can’t like succumb to infection before being killed.

So... because Lagertha needs to be framed as completely morally good, as an icon basically, none of the Ragnarssons can have legitimate cause to want her dead. So... you can’t write an arc that really deals with one of the Ragnarssons trying to kill her and succeeding, you instead have to find a separate arc that closes the chapter on her story in a heroic fashion. Which is how you get Lagertha being severely (implied fatally) wounded by Whitehair in combat, before getting finished off by Hvitserk. Basically she dies twice, her first death is the one with thematic importance and an actual arc, her second death is required by the plot.

2) So... what are we left with when the story falls into place, on an emotional and thematic level... not much in my honest opinion. Again, the conclusion to Lagertha’s character arc for this season lay in her combat with Whitehair and Hvitserk stabbing her doesn’t really have any connection to that. So, for her death, we have to look for some sort of overarching, multi-season thematic arc and... I just don’t think there is one to be found in this.

I mean, Katheryn said it best when she said that Hvitserk was the one least expected to do it. He was the one who was least expected to do it because, unlike his brothers, he had no emotional relationship (positive or negative) with Lagertha. And that might be okay because he kills her accidentally, but it means there’s no real emotional tragedy in Hvitserk specifically killing her accidentally. Like, that was the first time Lagertha and Hvitserk have ever spoken to each other... which really takes away from the emotional weight of this moment. There’s no real emotional weight in it on the basis of their relationship, because they do not have one. And looking at them as individuals, I don’t think this does much for them on a thematic level either.

Lagertha talks about not being able to escape her fate but like... when it comes to the Ragnarsson prophecy she never tried to. She never worried over it, this wasn’t something that was haunting her. Particularly with Lagertha having multiple lines of dialogue where she announces acceptance at the fact various fates/events had always been decided. In fact... her dialogue at the end, combined with how fatalistic she was with Whitehair... it made it seem like she straight up forgot about that prophecy because it was so unimportant to her. And considering the fact that she already thought she was dying (and may actually have been) she’s wouldn’t have been wrong to see that way. So she never tried to escape it nor did she really like... embrace/challenge it (ie. I wont die against you Whitehair, that’s not how I’m fated to die) as she did with her baby in s4a.

So what’s left for Lagertha is basically... well it was a prophecy... and it happened... because prophecy. Which to be fair, is kind of what they did with Ragnar and the blind man. The difference there is that contained a measure of cruel irony, because Ragnar at that point didn’t believe in the Gods and similarly was able to laugh because the prophecy was off by a day. So it played into the theme of him crafting his own destiny... there was some catharsis there. I can’t say the same for Lagertha’s storyline, she believes in the gods and she’s always accepted the idea that her fate was decided... there’s no cruel irony to be found.

As for Hvitserk... I suppose there’s a bit more thematic relevance but it’s one that’s very clumsily retrofitting onto his character imo. So, Hvitserk’s main conflict, if one can be identified from season to season, is the struggle to identify his destiny and to understand his level of agency in that. That’s why he wonders over whether his jumping ship was free will and explores different religions and such. He finally came to the conclusion last season that his fate was to kill Ivar and his breakdown this season is partially motivated by what he sees as a failure to fulfill his destiny. So to that extent, his accidentally killing Lagertha does contain a level of cruel irony. Haha, Hvitserk... turns out you fulfilled your fate, but your fate wasn’t what you thought and there was no glory in it and you have no agency in the matter both because it was fate and because it was an accident. But again... their lack of connection and Hvitserk running towards his fate instead of away from it undermines the tragedy of “you could not escape your fate.”

Basically, what I’m saying is that thematically this does nothing for Lagertha as a character, it does a little bit for Hvitserk... but did it really do enough to be compelling? I don’t feel that it did. Especially because any emotion I felt in the scene itself was undermined by how random and out of place it felt in the story overall.

#text #vikings #vikings spoilers #yeah I'm put me going full pepe silva in the tags #no shame #(so much shame)

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imreallyhereforplance · 5 years

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On Marinette!Mouse/Fox

This new post is a continuation / major elaboration of my Multimouse duplication theory.

A very lovely and clever anon left me this message in response to this post I made. The anon reminded me about the mouse/fox fusion leak for Marinette and also made me aware of a theory alternative to my last one: Based on the leaks, Marinette (as the mouse/fox fusion) would create an illusion of Ladybug using the fox miraculous in order to hide her identity from Chat Noir.

I personally disagree with this only because the illusion still can’t cleanse the akuma/amok, which was the major reason I created the duplication theory. Nonetheless, the implications of the mouse/fox fusion leak are intriguing, so I began to go through different scenarios in my head to try and investigate the plausibility of each one...

~~~

Discussion time! Let’s assume for a hot second that it’s definitively true Multimouse only has one appearance (for Marinette, at least, as it seems Mylène will have the mouse miraculous sometime in the future). At some point during this single appearance, Marinette is going to don the fox miraculous as well. It could go any one of the following ways:

1. Marinette took the jewels herself - We get no parallel to when Ladybug chose Adrien for a miraculous in Desperada. Kinda disappointing, though I wouldn't be completely surprised. I really would like Chat to get the chance to choose a holder, though, and I would be surprised if he didn't choose Marinette given that opportunity, both for dramatic irony and because it’d be the logical choice in-universe.

To be honest, I don't see this option coming true. For a single appearance, I don’t know why Marinette would get a mouse costume design and then an additional design for both mouse and fox if she was just going acquire the jewels simultaneously. Or even not simultaneously - even in a single episode generally, I wouldn't expect all these new and never-again-seen costume changes. Also, if there was something threatening the city, I’m not sure why Marinette would forego her Ladybug powers, including akuma/amok cleansing, in the first place (unless her earrings were stolen/missing, but that seems like a major episode). Rather, if she really needed the fox and mouse powers, I’d expect her to seek out Alya and some new holder.

2. Chat offered the mouse and Marinette rejected until she could get the fox from Fu - In my opinion, this is more plausible than #1. Chat offering Marinette the mouse is a more believable premise for her using it than Marinette deciding to use the mouse on her own (though that’s mostly because I wonder why she doesn’t want/need to have Ladybug’s powers in the mouse/fox fusion). It would give Marinette time to think and judge the situation carefully before committing to Multimouse, thereby rushing into the job before she can figure out how to handle hiding her identity while also being able to cleanse the akuma/amok. Again, though, an illusion of Ladybug still can’t use Ladybug’s powers.

I wonder if Marinette, who, keep in mind, is both mouse and fox at the moment, would use a giant illusion involving Multimouse (since she can’t show Chat that Multimouse has the fox miraculous) and Ladybug stopping and cleansing the akuma/amok. Assuming that the actual akuma/amok is docile enough that it doesn't ruin the credibility of the illusion. And Chat...just leaves I suppose? Without the Pound It where he’d find both ladies’ fists intangible? Nope, wouldn’t work - he’d try to take the mouse miraculous back from the Multimouse illusion.

Basically, a lot could go wrong with this option. Very convoluted.

3. Chat offered the mouse and Marinette grabbed the fox later on - Same problems as #2. In some places the logic is better and in others it’s worse. Enough said.

~~~

So, what did we learn?

It is extremely unlikely that Marinette with the mouse miraculous only makes one appearance.

Why is this important?

I seriously doubt that Multimouse and mouse/fox fusion Marinette appear in the same episode.

Again, why is this important?

Because that means Marinette will not be using an illusion to hide her identity as Multimouse.

I mean, that’s assuming the Multimouse episode happens before the mouse/fox episode, which I am 99% sure of since we got the Aspik episode (Desperada) before the Snake Noir episode.

Yup, Snake Noir. The snake/black cat fusion for Adrien. Of course we got to see the snake and black cat seperately before we saw the fusion - just makes sense. Same will happen with seeing the fox and mouse separately before we see them fused together.

~~~

Alright, so now that we know Marinette will have the mouse miraculous more than once, let’s get back to the discussion. Why does she have the mouse alone once and the mouse and fox together once? What are the implications of this?

It really comes down to who Adrien sees as behind the mouse mask.

1. “Ladybug” is Multimouse - What this means is Ladybug made the decision, very openly with Chat, to don the mouse miraculous for some reason (like I described in #1 of “single appearance scenarios ^^). I don’t know what that reason would be - like I said, I’d expect that if the powers were needed so much, Ladybug would keep her own powers and find a holder for the mouse. Ladybug is the only one who can capture akumas/amoks, so unless her earrings are unavailable, I don’t know why this would occur.

What I’m saying is, if the writers can find a reasonable premise for this, then it’s definitely the least complicated. In future episodes, Ladybug would simply swap her own powers for the mouse, and then for the mouse and fox. Honestly a lot simpler than the alternative option.

2. “Marinette” is Multimouse - This is...VERY interesting. Why, you ask? Well, because it makes me wonder why Marinette is once entrusted with the mouse by Chat, and then sometime later entrusted with both the mouse and fox. Or, of course, gets the mouse from Chat, then takes the fox on her own and claims Ladybug gave it to her. Either way, I ask the question why. Why would Chat trust Marinette with this much power? Or, why would Marinette choose to give Multimouse so much power instead of trying to find a way around it and remain as Ladybug in Chat’s eyes?

Hm. Getting back to that, let’s look at the other fusion design - Snake Noir.

You know what’s kind of funny? How, unlike with mouse/fox, which doesn’t include Marinette’s ulterior identity, snake/black cat does include Adrien’s ulterior identity. Both of them, actually. Marinette once saw “Adrien” with the snake and has seen “Chat” with the black cat. Interesting. So, is this fusion “Chat Noir” or “Adrien” in Marinette’s eyes? Chat, right, since why would Adrien be entrusted with the super powerful black cat miraculous? And also the snake miraculous again when it didn’t work out the first time?

But then look at Snake Noir’s hair design. Whenever Marinette sees “Chat Noir” (as Chat, Mister Bug) his hair looks a certain way. Bananas, I’ve heard. But this hair design on Snake Noir looks a lot like Aspik’s. But then again, his name is Snake Noir, which is a direct reference to Chat Noir. So...probably Chat.

But in that case, why would Marinette as mouse/fox and Chat as Snake Noir be fighting an akuma together for a second time? Especially with these huge power-ups? So surely Multimouse must be “Ladybug” and not “Marinette”?

Or maybe this episode happens after the reveal.

Not sure, of course. Probably not true, but just a thought.

Maybe the mouse/fox and Snake Noir appearances happen in different episodes. All I’m saying is, if Multimouse is indeed “Marinette” and not “Ladybug,” then the episode with mouse/fox is going to be very interesting, either because the reveal has happened by that point or Marinette is going to be a freaking boss in front of Chat.

And like I was insinuating before, Snake Noir might be “Adrien” over “Chat,” not sure. Could be, but not as likely (again, unless the reveal has happened).

~~~

In conclusion, it is very possible that Multimouse is “Ladybug” over “Marinette” and will not need to make excuses as to why Ladybug isn’t present during those episodes. If Multimouse is “Marinette,” though, I don’t believe she will be using the fox miraculous along with the mouse for her first appearance (she will have more than one), thus I still think my duplication theory holds. I will be very curious to see the dynamics of these characters during the fusion episode(s).

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ml #mlb #ml spoilers #multimouse #snake noir #marichat #marinette #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien #adrien agreste #ladybug #chat noir #cat noir #adrienette #adrinette #ladynoir #ladrien

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whumpbby · 5 years

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In JayDick what do you think about Jason would catch Dick’s attention? Because in JayDick I really do believe that Dick’d had to make the first move. Jay doesn’t have a lot of experience with dating or long-term relationships, so veteran dater Dick would have to take charge in beginning. What makes Dick fall for Jay? It’s easy to see why Jay falls in love, “Everyone one loves Dick Grayson don’t they?” Jay thinks. It’d be hard for Jay to believe Dick loved him. Dick could have so much better.

Depending on the situation, it all depends on how Dick is written/headcanoned. And how far Jason is gone in his villain persona.

Dick generally has a thing for people who take none of his shit and can throw him down - stronger, mature, powerful. He needs the emotional connection with his lovers - and that’s the base of his relationships. He’s a flirt, because that’s his stage persona as Nightwing, but personally he’s not a in-and-out dating material.

Now, Jason seems to be very guarded in dating scenarios, he will flirt quite well, but it always looked to me like he always picked a woman who was sure to be unimpressed with his advances/not swayed easily/too god for him? As if, a safe object to point his interest at because nothing would ever come out of it (I was actually surprised that Artemis returned his interest at all) or, if it did, there was not really any long-term aspirations. He seems to want a friend more than he wants a girlfriend - and it fits, because Jay is desperate for friendship and being recognised as someone worth anyone’s time. He needs friendfs more than anything.

So, in this case, I see thins thing as Jason and Dick trying to build a more friendly relation - they never had it, not really, and Dick never stopped feeling guilty about it and Jay never stopped wanting it with Dick, so maybe one day they hashed out their differences - say, trapped in close quarters under extreme duress for awhile, when emotions ran high and thing just spilled out. They’re both stubborn like hell, so extreme conditions had to be employed for the thing to come to head.

And form that point on Dick makes more effort to understand where Jason is coming from, instead of instantly disapproving of everything he doesn;t understand right away - he realises that it’s such a Bruce thing to do and he doesn’t want to be like that, because Bruce was the reason for their crappy relations to begin with. Dick tries to look at Jason with clear head and accept him as a new, adult person instead of a dead little boy they were all twisted into feeling guilty about... and, in time, he starts to realise that this whole mindset hurt Jason terribly, that Jay’s self-worth took a powerful hit, because no one gave him a courtesy of looking at him and not seeing a mistake.

Apart from Alfred and Tim - who were always the most clear-headed and objective members of the family - no one even knew who Jason was nowadays.

And Dick is startled and dismayed to realise that he doesn’t even have a clue what Jason went though when he wasn’t with them - fuck, he doesn’t even know the exact conditions of his death! He was never interested in knowing, trusting Bruce, the emotionally-stunted, consumed by guilt and despair man who never told the truth if it required him to be emotional.

So, Dick starts with an investigation - and in time it starts to consume him more and more, because the trail he starts to uncover is so convoluted and weird, and terrifying. And no one knew - not even Alfred, because Jason never spoke of anything post his death. It was always “I died, remember?” that distracted them from inquiring what came after and what came before? Dick scours the archives, because if there’s one thing Bruce can be trusted on it’s keeping all information filed, and discovers that Jason didn’t just run away - he was looking for his birth mother. And, form the looks of it, he had found her, but Bruce’s investigation uncovered her shady dealings with the Joker. Did Jay know she was a bad person when he died? Was she responsible for the explosion? What happened after Bruce left them? (god, he left Jason alone, knowing that Joker was about, fuck!)

Then he uncovers the note about the disturbed grave - the coffin broken from the inside - and has to take a moment to leave the computer and do something with his hands, because otherwise he was going to throw up.

And as he does, he discovers more and more things, the picture it all paints is dark and desperate, and Dick starts to ask himself why he never did this before? Why didn’t he ask more questions and just took what Bruce told them? Was it because he didn’t want to know? Was it because it was easier to remain in the status quo? To see Jason’s face-heel-turns as vindictive rather than the panicked flailing of a person in need of help they can’t ask for. To believe that Jason came back as a changeling, that he was not the boy they lost, that he was to blame for his choices.... and yeah, to a degree he was, but there are many people who made worse choices with much more clarity of mind than Jason ever had and Dick still gave them more than he ever offered Jason. The fact that he freely called Jason his ‘brother’ while giving him less patience and faith than he gave some of his villains... Was it the feeling of betrayal they all felt when he kept killing or was it the fear of being forced to examine their own shortcomings? They were so comfortable in their grief after all and then Jason came back and threw a wrench into it...

And all of that has to happen with Dick - he has to realise that and come to grips with that before he can start to heal their relationship - because it’s obvious that the effort has to come from him, not Jason. Jason already accepted being sidelined, staying on the fringes of the family in that strange push-and-pull Bruce keeps forcing on them in is emotional inadequacy. Jay gave up and Dick has to be the one to prove to him that he cares.

So, he sets out to prove that he cares to get to know this new man Jason is now. And at first it startles Jason, puts him off, because what’s this? They have one shout-out once and now Dick wants to be friends? well, he can fuck off!

But one thing Dick is - is tenacious. You don’t get where he is without being undeterred. He makes effort and his hand remains outstretched, and slowly, inch by inch, Jason starts coming closer.

As it happens, Dick is a bit of an example for the heroes, so many take his example and Jason slowly stops being the pariah in the hero society - if the first Robin is trying, means there has to be something about Red Hood that’s good, right?

And, you know, the more Dick knows the real Jason, the more appreciative he is - Jay is still a good person at heart, he still cares so damn much and is scarily eager to put himself down to save others, and even though his methods are brutal, they’re never reckless, he is even more deliberate than Bruce in maintaining his image (and it’s such a Bruce thing, Dick can’t unsee it, how much of Jason is being straight up copied form their father, how can Bruce even pretend to disapprove?) and his plans are so complex and what you see is always just a small bit of them... Jay is so damn smart. Also, damn handsome and strong, and in desperate need of emotional support and help. And Dick was always a sucker for people who needed his help>___>

So, by the time Dick realises he’s fallen, he’s already deep in, hook line and sinker, and has no idea what to do with it at all :O

#headcanon #Anonymous

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zeravmeta · 5 years

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Give me your absolute best YGO x Fate headcanons

Ah gee since ya asked so nicely heres my convoluted crossover AU. Also this got hella long so I'll add a readmore

-the protags would all wind up at Chaldea due to being summoned by the godly powers within their own universes (Egyptian Gods, Crimson Dragon, etc.) and are tasked with helping them. Yugi is pre Ceremonial Duel (for Atem), the rest are from post series

-Gudas just so used to all the weirdness surrounding them so they take it in stride. Holmes on the other hand is losing it because he fears they may have been some type of dimensional collapse. He freaks out further when some of the kids say "oh yeah that happens all the time". Da Vinci sets them up to assist Guda since they can use magic (at least half of them use magic and the other half literally fuse with duel monsters) without needing magic circuits (which interests her GREATLY) so she introduces them as a set of new masters to help.

-their decks are still with them but now instead of being confined to the game they can actually summon them as Familiars/Phantasmals, though they can only support a few at a time.

-most, if not all servants are suspicious of these new masters (guda is my favorite master i dont need another one), but its only initial waryness since these are actual kids like Guda and they default to Parent Mode. Theyre even more surprised to learn about the exploits within their own worlds.

Now onto some of the dynamics:

-Yugi would just be happy to meet all these heroes from history. He understands the seriousness of the situation and despite his initial kickback he'd be onboard to help. Atem would take this opportunity to ask around to see if any of these ancient heroes would know him (since pre ceremonial duel he'd know who he is from Mem World). The Pharaohs (Ozy, Nito, Cleo) would be surprised about a Pharoah they've never met before, and especially his divinity since he could summon three Egyptian Gods to aid him. He was from 3000 years in the past so Egypt was beginning in its decline, so such a modern (relatively) Pharoah holding such power would shock them, though in the end Ozymandias would still declare him one of his friends and theyd get along. Yugi would leave the Puzzle with the Pharoahs so they could speak while he went around meeting a bunch of the heroes. He'd love to play with some of the kids though he has earned his fair share of ire since the King of Games never loses on Game Night, Poker Night, or any other type of games. Yugi has more supportive abilities in his skillset for the ourposes of battle, while Atem can more freely use his shadow magic since he's being supplied.

-Judai is more nonplussed than anything. He was already wandering the world so for him this is just another checkpoint. He finds the ability to summon his monsters as familiars more convebiant than anything since he could already speak to them. Many of the magic users are particularly interested in his ability to talk to spirits since its a rare ability in general and usually limited to one type of phantasmal, not to mention empathetic abilities on their own are somewhat unheard of in Nasuverse. Yubel is a protective force around him and for combat training scenarios shes extremely hard to get around since her deflection ability, while hard to maintain when Yubel uses her final form, is pretty much on par with Lord Camelot in terms of defense. He's generally friendly but comes off as rude sometimes due to his general nonchalance. Gets along especially well with some of the more volatile servants like Berserkers and Avengers since his empathetic abilities are soothing to them.

-Yusei is cautious and guarded here. He has responsibilities in his own world he'd want to get back too, but doesn't have it in him to just leave. His D-Wheel somehow came along (Yuya shivers in the distance) with him, so Da Vinci did the only reasonable thing upon seeing a miniature perpetual motion machine and tried to impound it immediately for study. Yusei was happy to share his info and skills on Momentum and implementing it into Chaldeas energy systems, something that had Tesla and Edison proud since one so young was already (but only barely) supassing AC and DC. Holmes was also extremely interested in Clear Mind and the Crimson Dragin, since Yusei managed to consolidate his own concentration into pure evolutionary energy and may have accidentally interacted with an elder god in the process (kinda like Holmes). Yusei assures him the Crimson Dragon isn't evil and that its called Quetzalcoatl, which has Fate Quetz coming in and asking about herself, further complicating Yusei's confusion on the Crimson Dragon. For combat, he starts off supportive by swarming his field with low power monsters before suddenly summoning a more powerful one. With Over Top Clear Mind they become even more powerful and evolve on their own, so Stardust can become Shooting, but summoning Quasar is very dangerous since its extremely powerful but taxxing.

-Yuma is absolutely excited. Astral not so much. "Astral these are literal HEROES how can you not be excited!?" "Idk probably the part where they'll kill us if we take a wrong step?". Yuma loves to hang around servants like Drake, Shiki and Beowulf, and loves swapping stories of their adventures. Abigail heard about aliens and wonders if Yog Soghoth is an alien, but Yuma tells her that the Astrals and Barians are not like Yog Soggoth, even if Don Thousand as described kinda sounds like him. Astral can be seen since since Heroic Spirits are consolidations of magic while Astral was basically an energy being of the same type, and does float through the halls, occasionally scaring someone by mistake. He does get along with a mysterious woman in a kimono who seems to appear in the twilight hours, but he cant ever really remember her face. In combat Astral and Yuma can do their usual combination form which causes their Numbers to automatically Rank Up upon summoning, the higher the form the further they can rank.

-Yuya has it a bit rough at first. He just got out of a war and now he was being dragged into another? Thankfully he gets his bearings quickly but is still somewhat shaken. Some of the servants are wary around him because they can feel the distortion that exists within his soul, his three other versions, and the power that could trun him into the Supreme King once again still exists there even if Zarc has passed on. He gets along with Siegfried well enough, and they swap stories about how the expectations of others can lead you to ruin. The Alter Egos feel a kinship to him since he's also a consolidated personality rather than a full person, though he gets along best with the Celts. Cu, Scathach and Fergus all love to see his performances, but to them that just meant that they can put him through warrior training especially after they hear about the war he went through. Scathach insists that him running for his life while she chases is good training, while Cu agrees while running alongside him. In battle he uses his acrobatic prowess enhanced with a little bit of fortification/protection magic, and can summon all four of his dragons to help him. Since the other Yu Boys are stuck within Yuya, they occasionally trade places:

Yuto gets along with Archer and occasionally helps him out. Archer is sympathetic to the struggles he unerwent in his own world and makes sure to keep his spirits up while also trying to ignore the irony.Yugo and David have struck up a strange friendship since they both have the issue of mistaking people for their so. David sees Yugo talk about how even if his life was hard it was worth it for the people he loved and remembers his son fondly.Yuri is generally avoided since even after the merge he's still something of a wildcard, but he gets along well with Hans and Kiara of all people. Sometimes he'd share the stories of the training he underwent in Academia, how the Professor trained him to see people as toys and all the people he's hurt, how his dragon was his only friend and how itd protect him, and Hans couldn't help but hate his pessimistic attitude in expecting this while Kiara wouldn't really care too much but also wouldn't insult him by offering condolences. He knows he's become a monster and he won't deny or forget his mistakes, he'll simply try to do better.

-[note: Vrains suddenly had its ending announced for Sept.25 (i believe it may have been cancelled) so based on the episode title of 120 Yusaku and Ai will reunite and thats what im following here] Yusaku is skittish at best, downright invisible at worst. He doesn't want to be found, and even some of the Assassin Class servants have trouble tracking him down when needed. Ai managed to bring along a spare SOLtis body with him so he can walk around and physically interact with Yusaku. Even if they still had some tension between them they still cared about each other so they would keep each other company. It got real awkward when BB first showed up talking about being a sentient AI, so Ai immediatelt tried to befriend her, only to learn about her inhuman nature. While Ai may dislike that aspect of her, he knows from what happened with Roboppy that you cant forcibly change what you are, so he does his best to try and get along, which infuriates BB to no end since she feels like she's being talked down to. Yusaku as a programmer helps with most of Chaldeas regular workforce and he accomplishes hiding in plain sight by being the only master to interact more with the regular work staff than their servants. That being said, it doesn't change how some like Tamamo or Suzuka try to drag him out so he can meet some of the other servants. He gets along well with Kerry. Likely because they barely speak and share E Rank Luck.

#zerav responds #whoA this got long #sorry #idk how to add readmores on mobile so i may edit later #fgo #fate grand order #yugioh

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twobellsilence · 5 years

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Fanfic review #8 - “Shutter Speeds no Teema” by Shiira

Now that we’re done with CSS 203, it’s time to move on to another fic site I found on my escapades to the Internate Archive - Dreams and Illusion. This one has a HUGE list, so I’ll only be reviewing the fics that have caught my attention in some way or another (or else we’d be here forever). Now, I had planned to start this again once I was done with the entire page, but I stumbled upon a piece of work that affected me so much I couldn’t help but break my own rules and post this early.

That fanfic is “Shutter Speeds no Teema” by Shiira.

Really, there have been pretty impressive works in here, and I’m quite excited to talk about them down the line, but this one in particular shook me to my very core. It’s one of the best HisaJiro fanfics I’ve ever read, even outside of GeoCities - I even like it slightly more than Mako’s work. And if you read my thoughts about Mako’s fics, then you probably know I LOVED those.

Watch out, this one’s the longest rant on this series yet.

Let me start by pointing out the stars of this fic - Hisashi and Jiro. It may sound silly, it being HisaJiro and all, but believe me when I tell you this is the aspect most of the pieces of writing I’ve read fail at. As you may know, I don’t really ship any of these guys, so I come into these fanfics with the tiniest bit of skepticism - even if I know their dynamic can be easily turned into an interesting ship, I’d rather sit back and watch the relationship develop, or at least take in the indicators of why and how the ship works if they’re already together. Sure, if you’re a HisaJiro fan you probably wouldn’t have a problem with any of these, but the issue lies in stories that try to explain how they hit it off; they usually take bonding for granted and attempt to match the characters right off the bat, which more often than not ends up in disaster or at least coming off as incredibly jarring. However, this fanfic handles all of this perfectly - it’s actually a bit of a slow burn, taking the characters the entire prologue and following 12 chapters to realize their love for each other, and that alone gives it a lot more room to develop and shape the couple. The author fully utilizes the length to their advantage, shedding light on every single one of the characters’ thoughts and feelings and using the time to make the relationship grow at a very natural pace. And really, that’s one of the things I love the most about this fic - Hisashi and Jiro’s relationship feels so natural, so right. The two have amazing chemistry and compliment each other so well that every single step they take feels earned and it’s very satisfactory to watch them grow. You can tell they love each other a whole lot, and it isn’t shoved in your face at each turn - instead, you can see it through every little action, word, thought and even the uncanny similarities between them.

It doesn’t stop there, though. Their dynamic is amazing, but the way they’re established as individual characters is also worthy of praise. I LOVED Hisashi and Jiro in here. Sure, they can be infuriating sometimes - they’re both as hard-headed and stubborn as a goddamn bull - but that’s just part of the charm. Jiro is the main protagonist, and I can say that’s probably the best decision the author could’ve taken given the plot and direction of the fic. It really helps solidify Hisashi’s character arc, since seeing it through Jiro’s eyes helps you spot all the little details in Hisa’s actions, and even though Jiro is confused by many of them you as a reader know what they *actually* mean. It is also very interesting to see Jiro’s inner struggles; he loves Hisashi with all his heart, but is convinced that the blue-haired guitarist will never feel the same about him because c’mon, it’s Hisashi we’re talking about here. And so you get parts where he attempts to justify Hisa’s moves and denies any sort of proof that he may feel the same about him, using the guitarist’s relationship with Teru (which I’m going to talk about later on) as a scapegoat to stop himself from getting any ideas. This, of course, is detrimental to Jiro’s state of mind, and as painful as it is it’s also fascinating to witness his slow descent into despair as time goes on, Hisashi’s moves become more and more apparent and his jealousy and hostility towards Teru grows worse. And I haven’t even mentioned Reiko. Yes, Reiko is in here, and I’m going to talk about her later on too, but for now all I’ll say is that she plays a key role in the climax of Jiro’s arc and works as a perfect element to help develop his and Hisa’s relationship and character. All this is complemented by Jiro’s base personality which, I must add, is based on his real self rather than his onstage persona, which is honestly the cherry on top as it makes everything even more realistic and tangible.

As for Hisashi, he’s honestly a treat. You see him struggle with his feelings a lot - he has zero social skills and doesn’t know how to display his feelings towards Jiro, so when he tries to leave his indifferent mask behind he ends up trying too hard and it’s just hilarious sometimes. Not that it’s a bad thing, since he does push the right (and wrong at some points) buttons in certain situations and contributes to the way the plot moves forward. It also helps a whole lot when he becomes more comfortable with Jiro, since you can clearly see he’s learned and grown based on how his actions change over the course of the story after this. And really, his behavior is a breath of fresh air compared to almost everything I had read so far - we’re treated to a softer, more sentimental side of his, which I honestly like more than the rough edge he has on most HisaJiro fics. Sure, he’s also kind of mean here in the beginning, but we quickly learn it’s all just a facade to mask his feelings, and while he and Jiro do share their signature rival banter here and there it eventually evolves into a joke between the two and it’s apparent both of them enjoy it. I also really, really like the twist the author included where instead of Jiro approaching Hisashi, it’s Hisashi approaching Jiro, and it carries through the story all the way until the end where it’s Hisashi who seeks Jiro to confess despite the bassist being in constant denial; again, this shows a more human side to Hisashi that really makes the character feel more impactful.

If I was to pick my favorite thing about this fanfic, though, it would be the plot in general. It’s excellent. Everything is planned out perfectly, every single detail is there for a reason, and everything *happens* for a reason. There are no plot points that come out of nowhere (save for a kind of major exception, but we’ll discuss that a little bit later), so the story flows naturally and realistically. All arcs happen in the right time, all locations and settings are strategically planned, and it’s a marvel to sit through. You can tell the author put A LOT of planning, time and effort into this, and it truly paid off in a spectacular way. Not only that, but it’s driven by Hisashi and Jiro themselves - it doesn’t move because it needs to, but rather because the *main characters* push it forward, making their development and dynamics shine and making the story as a whole work to near perfection. And I haven’t even talked about transitions - some of them are ABSOLUTELY GENIUS and I had to take a moment to appreciate them even more because lord, they flow so well that it’s almost unnoticeable, but at the same time it connects Hisashi and Jiro even further not only as part of the same story but as soulmates, too, which is an extremely original way to add to their relationship. As a little sidenote, I’d like to point out the relationship between the title and the story - it seemed like kind of an odd choice at first, but really, it becomes even more and more fitting as the story progresses.

There is one big flaw here, though, and that is the way down to the resolution. Again, the settings themselves are just on point, and the situations are structured in such a way that they flow well together, but it ends up coming off as slightly convoluted because of the characters involved. The author took a huge risk by making Jiro drunk in this scenario; it justifies his wild actions up to some point, but the reactions of everyone else to his tirades aside from Hisashi break it somewhat - this is something I’ll talk a bit later on however, since rather than an issue with the plot it’s more of an issue with the side characters themselves. Thankfully the conclusion is incredibly sweet and satisfying, although that doesn’t remove the fact that the road to it is a bit rocky on the end.

That said, I guess it’s about time to talk about the rest of the cast, and here’s where my problems with this fic truly begin. We got Ayu, Hisa’s pet cat, which is always a welcome plus - not only is he adorable, but he’s also used as an extremely valid excuse to kickstart Hisashi and Jiro’s journey and illustrate some of the boys’ thoughts about each other. There’s also Reiko, Jiro’s girlfriend; she, although a side character, is one of the main and most important plot points and also has a character arc herself, which grounds her character even more and deepens Jiro and Hisashi’s conflicts in the story. I found her to be extremely likeable - yes, she was kind of egotistical in the beginning, but she has no ill intent and truly loves Jiro. She learns from her mistakes and actively tries to becomes a better person, and as time goes by you can feel her dread as she desperately tries to salvage her and Jiro’s relationship, doing her best to fix things despite her knowing it’s no use, which is heartbreaking to watch. It doesn’t help that all this comes right at the climax of the story, reinforcing the dramatic effect of everything. And, sadly, the author did her dirty by leaving her hanging almost at the end, which is the forgotten plot point I mentioned on the previous paragraph - she and Jiro have a conversation that would have been CRUCIAL to the story, but neither it or Reiko herself were mentioned again afterwards, which makes me wonder if the author just forgot about her or ended up cutting her for convenience’s sake (because let’s be honest, the story is already complex enough, and her existence and role makes it even worse).

As for the rest of the band, they’re here, too. As I mentioned earlier, Teru plays a big role in the story, and the way he’s presented ties in really well with the continuity of everything; he is, in fact, one of the main factors that drive Jiro and Hisashi’s arc along with Reiko, and I must say I really enjoyed the way his relationship with Hisashi is portrayed in here. They’re really close, basically like brothers, so they tease and interact with each other in ways that would seem deeper to any outsider - especifically Jiro. His personality is also on point, he’s a forgetful, happy-go-lucky airhead that loves to have a good time but ultimately cares about his loved ones and acts like moral support when things get serious. The only issue I have with him is how he calls Hisashi and Jiro bitches at some points in the story; this is, I reckon, a bit too strong of a word for Teru to actually use in these contexts, especially considering these are his friends we’re talking about here, and it seems kind of out of character, at least in my opinion. But that’s nothing compared to the worst part of this fic: Takuro. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I know I am extremely biased in this situation. But even though Takuro is one of my most recurrent nitpicks in these reviews, that never actually affects my overall opinion since he’s not influential to the story most of the time; here, however, he’s a complete mess and the flow of the story suffers because of it. The author presents him as this grouchy, workaholic man who can’t even greet people before nagging them to get down to work. He doesn’t seem to actually care about any of the members - his only concern is his music, and it isn’t his problem if the others are feeling down or have any other bigger issue. This alone clashes with the sort of camaraderie the author is trying to implement into the band’s dynamic, but that’s not all; his character isn’t consistent, so he constantly fluctuates from mean to sweet whenever the plot needs him to and it does not work at all. Him trying to be supportive seems really out of character and, most importantly, out of place in a story where every single character is grounded and feels real since their very first introduction. Hell, even Toshi, who only has a couple of lines, has a more cohesive character than Takuro himself. And it doesn’t stop there - he actually plays key parts in pushing the story around, so while the plot itself is nearly flawless Takuro’s confusing personality and actions make it feel almost forced in a sense. Even settling for that crusty persona we were introduced to at first would have cleared up almost all of the narrative mess left after the climax, thus lessening the negative impact of Hisashi’s state of mind and Jiro’s drunkenness on the flow of the resolution.

Eve then, despite all the issues (which, let’s face it, aren’t that many) I may have with this fanfic, I can not deny how utterly gorgeous it is. Even with the small inconsistencies, even with the couple of questionable character choices, this piece of work is one of the most high quality you’ll find out there. Regardless if you ship HisaJiro or just want to have a good time, this fanfic will not disappoint - it’s an amazing choice and I can’t recommend it enough. Excellent protagonists, a great plot, a beautiful relationship built on trust and genuine love and a clean narrative and grammatical structure (save for the lack of breaks, which can be confusing sometimes, but it’s a nitpick more than anything) make Shutter Speeds no Teema a wonderful read.

#this one........ took a while #but I know a couple of you actually read these so i was kinda motivated to finish it #honestly i would've never expected any of you to look at these silly rants....... yet here you are #y'all are so valid #anyway this one is incredibly good and i love it a whole bunch even though it did my grandpa extremely dirty #Luke rants #Luke surfs the dead Geocities

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megatentious · 5 years

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Megami Tensei where u at??

When you are down in the dumps about your favorite video game franchise and the future of a series that is special for you, sometimes you end up seeking it out in places that are … unexpected. I’m going to talk about how, over the last couple years, I ended up seeing three different flavors of Megami Tensei in three different games, and maybe by the end of this we can all end up feeling like it’s okay to move on with our lives. Just keep telling yourself that your favorite games are not your identity and it’s not that serious bruh but also tell yourself that it is therapeutic to collect many paragraphs of thoughts you have had about this to write at length about in your blog.

First up is a game that many many people have noticed is very Megaten and that is the Digimon RPG, Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth. There was no reason at all for this to be as good of a game as it is. I have no special affinity for the cartoon show. I do not like the Devil Survivor character designer even a little bit. I do not find grinding and monster collecting for the sake of monster collecting entertaining. But from the very first trailer something seemed compelling, and as good word of mouth spread I decided this was going to be a game I needed to play.

Again, everyone has already commented on how Megaten this game feels, and for me the closest specific analogue is actually Raidou Kuzunoha. From the first extended trailer I noticed the jazzy main theme, the detective agency conceit, the visible partner monsters appearing in a Tokyo with bold camera angle choices, and felt a weird familiarity. Digimon also function very plainly as Megami Tensei demons in multiple ways, not only mechanically but also through their story roles. And the somewhat arcane stat manipulation needed for high-end Digivolving scratches the exact same itch as high-end Megaten fusion from previous SMT iterations, which is both a dangerous (100 hours of playtime good lord) and wonderful (100 hours of playtime good lord!) itch to scratch.

You need to put up with some annoying characters and prattling dialogue, but unlike other games there is no pretense here which absolutely helps. Also, re-interpreting traditional Japanese folklore through the lens of the Digimon world is something that never stopped being fascinating for me even amidst a sub-par localization, and as someone with low familiarity with the cartoon, the Digimon designs themselves were alternately hilariously bizarre, bafflingly stupid, and straight up awesome. They even have their own Lucifer!

By the time you get to the second half of the story where the game completely changes and becomes about alliances and faction-building and what happens to a city facing apocalypse, when you take in the incredible atmosphere in Odaiba all buoyed by a soundtrack that has no right to be as good as it is, you start to feel optimistic about how Megaten influence can live on even outside of the series itself.

Next up is an entry from another series that is occasionally compared to SMT, but this one in particular feels like it was only played by two or three people at all when it was miraculously released earlier in 2019 for the Nintendo 3DS. I’m talking about Yokai Watch 3. Arriving close to three years after its initial Japanese release to utterly resounding indifference, this game’s hook is that you get to play in “America,” but as you can tell from the quotes around America this is actually much more complicated than it seems in a way that specifically draws comparison to my beloved Revelations: Persona. You see, the very Japanese Yokai Watch series city location of Sakura New Town, Japon, was localized here for us as Springdale, Springdale back in the first game. This decision has led to many wonderful incongruities moving forward that are honestly identical to those in the Lunarvale of Revelations: Persona. Gotta love these small American towns with Shinto temples in em!

With Yokai Watch 3’s plot focusing on the family moving to actual America though, and the cross-cultural hijinks that are meant to ensue, things quickly get even weirder and more strained. Protagonist Nate Adams complains about the difficulty of understanding southern accents while slurping down sukiyaki. Shopkeepers with tempura-based hairstyles serve traditional Japanese dishes in the quaint American township of St. Peanutsburg. Huge timezone differences between America and “America” are introduced. And all of this is refracted through the even more convoluted localization prism of this game about two versions of America being scripted by the British, leading to children aspiring to be “basketballers” and restaurants having “oriental” atmosphere.

I’m barely scratching the surface of the dissertation-worthy unpacking needed for all of this, and it’s difficult to describe just how deeply weird the vibe can get in this game. In just the first twenty minutes of Yokai Watch 3, you have 1) a purely nutso anime opening featuring scary demonic folklore-based yokai, robots, and cat mascots 2) Mulder and Scully very seriously discussing mysterious “Y Files” 3) a rhythm game where your very American family devours an enormous amount of sukiyaki 4) the same very American (or in the game’s terms, “Springdalian”) family leaving their home to move to the state? country? of “BBQ” and 5) suddenly you are an otaku girl going to a figure shop in “Sparkopolis.” This is just as delirious as it sounds.

Revelations Persona’s uncanny America atmosphere may be one of a kind, but Yokai Watch 3’s frequently insane scenarios can sometimes recall a similar sort of lunacy that leads you to end up fighting a giant mechanical rat while a song with the track name “Child Abuse” plays, or chatting up a populace of mole-covered rainbow afro’d citizens in a locked down mall. At one point after returning from one of Yokai Watch 3’s various alternate dream worlds (very Persona!) my game was even afflicted with a commonly reported glitch that caused the environmental textures to not load, leading to a flat polygon world and some authentic PSX Lunarvale vibes. Throw in all the folktales and mythology involved in the yokai themselves and straight up demon fusion in a cathedral and suddenly you’ll end up experiencing more Megaten than you’d ever expect to see in an RPG targeted to young children.

Last up is an all-time classic that actually predates Shin Megami Tensei entirely, making it temporally impossible for any influence to show up, which muddles the entire concept of this essay but please roll with it you guys this is just how I feel. I’m talking about the seminal Phantasy Star, for the Master System, which I played through M2’s loving, impeccable SEGA AGES port on Switch. This game, which was released in 1987, is simply incredible. Right off the bat you’ve got genius-level programming from Yu Suzuki himself, which allowed for the first person dungeons to scroll so smoothly that posting a snippet of directly captured footage from the game can still lead to semi-viral tweets. It’s these extremely cool boldly colored first person dungeons, along with the expansive feeling of the several worlds you visit that led me to feel some of the spirit of Megami Tensei 2 specifically in this game.

“oops i accidentally phantasy starred for four hours” is how I put it playing through this game for the first time, and it’s a given that a non-fantasy setting RPG where you can talk to the monsters would be appealing to me. Phantasy Star as a series was in fact deliberately conceptualized as a rebellion against the many fantasy RPGs of the time, and the developers have talked about this in a way that is practically identical to early staff interviews about the goals for Megami Tensei. Director and gaming luminary Rieko Kodama has remarked that the choice of a female protagonist was also considered rebellious, even though it felt like a natural choice for her on a personal level.

Megami Tensei 2 is the game that builds the structure for Shin Megami Tensei as we know it today, moving away from Megami Tensei 1’s single full-game dungeon format to a world map with numerous discrete dungeons and eventually, paths to alternate worlds. Phantasy Star shares this exact design format, which still feels so expansive and impressive to this day. It’s a treat to get to experience a game like this over 30 years after its release on current hardware and still feel such an impact, and all of you need to go out and buy buy buy this game, seriously give M2 your money.

I’ve taken it as a given that everyone shares my perspective on where Shin Megami Tensei is at these days as a series, and it’s obviously never a good look to come across as an over-dramatic scolding bitter old who has retreated into pure irrelevance. But by documenting all of these observations down for myself, I can at least feel better about finding bits and pieces of various Megaten strains in the games of today. The lesson learned is that even if you feel your favorite franchise has lost its way, you may be able to find parts of it in the places you least expect.

#megami tensei #shin megami tensei #optimism???

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oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch · 6 years

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“Sicario: Day of the Soldado” Movie Review

Sicario: Day of the Soldado is the direct sequel to the 2015 critical hit Sicario, which was directed by Denis Villeneuve, and starred Emily Blunt, Benicio Del Toro, and Josh Brolin. With this film under the reigns of a new director (Stefano Solima), Brolin returns as Matt Graver, a CIA operative specializing in counter-terrorism against the Mexican drug cartels. When a harrowing bomb attack is carried out on Texan soil just near the border, the Secretary of Defense gives Graver the green light to hire a team of outside operatives in order to execute a specific mission: start a war between the cartels, and let the mess clean itself up. With a script by Taylor Sheridan, and Benicio Del Toro reprising his role as Alejandro, Day of the Soldado sets out to remind everyone that there are no good guys here; there are only survivors.

I was…apprehensive about this film, to say the least. Sicario was one of my favorite films of 2015, in large part because of Villeneuve’s unique touch on a relatively touchy subject: should the U.S. be allowed to operate with extreme prejudice in areas of the world where extreme prejudice already takes a toll on the population? Where must the line be drawn? Why do we have rules when carrying out foreign operations? Villeneuve’s film both introduced and answered most of those questions and the questions that spawned from those questions with one simple line from Del Toro’s character to Emily Blunt at the end of the film: “you’re not a wolf, and this is the land of wolves now.” Essentially, regardless of what the answer is to the question of the United States’ autonomy on foreign soil, the bottom line is that these operations happen, and the best course of action is not to remind one of their moral high ground, but to keep your head down and just get through it. If you can’t stomach it, don’t get near it, because you can’t stop it. (And yeah, having absolute knockout editing and immaculate cinematography from the legendary Roger Deakins didn’t hurt the film either).

This film aims to take Sicario’s central premise, and instead of putting Emily Blunt’s FBI agent Kate Macer into the crosshairs, substitutes her with two contrasting side plots involving children, examining the toll that this sort of war has on them and their overall psyches. Or at least, that’s supposedly the point…I think. It’s never really made explicitly clear what the theme of this particular installment in the Sicario franchise is supposed to be. And while films don’t necessarily need to make their messages explicit or even outright obvious, a little clarity probably would have helped here.

The first half or so of the film is all about Josh Brolin’s character carrying out the operation that starts the war between the drug cartels, with the start of the second act clearly beginning with the first mission inside that operation, and it seems like it’s mainly going to be about that; how does the U.S. influencing cartel operations actually effects the communities where those cartels reside, and will the CIA be able to handle it if things don’t go their way (i.e. interference from Mexican police or someone figuring out the double cross game)? But then the second half becomes something else, almost a transport/capture/rescue film wherein one of the most significant characters in the whole operation has to smuggle important cargo across the border in order to ensure its survival, and has to go rogue against the rest of the team to do it. That would be a fine twist, if it were that simple. Unfortunately, the film gets one too many side plots going, the one that saddles the film being a young boy getting involved with the cartels’ trade. That might have made for a good side story by itself, if it had actually affected more of the plot, but since the film already had a side story going involving a young girl being used as a pawn to start the cartel war that spawned off into a separate story, it really just feels a little bit convoluted and messy. It doesn’t ultimately break the film, but it is a case of one too many ingredients in an already fairly simple dish, and the overarching theme of the narrative gets buried a bit under the weight of the attention paid to it.

When I heard Taylor Sheridan was back to write, I was a little more relieved, since Sheridan’s talents have been put to spectacular use on such projects as Hell or High Water, Wind River (which he directed), and even the original Sicario (I haven’t started Yellowstone yet, but more on that soon). He is, no holds barred, outright one of the most significant writing talents of the decade and an absolute force to be reckoned with when it comes to taking realistic scenarios involving people who do the jobs that need to get done that no one else will do and highlighting (if not forcing an audience’s face down to look at) the darkest, most undesirable aspects of those jobs, especially where the “good guys” are really just survivors with a chip on their shoulders. And to be sure, Sheridan’s script is as sharp as ever. His dialogue moves back and forth between the actors naturally, and he has a great sense of where he wants the story to go in terms of narrative and character development, even if the theme does get a little lost.

The performances are excellent all around, with Josh Brolin getting more of the spotlight this time after Del Toro’s character kept stealing the show in every scene he had in the last movie. Brolin is magnetic as Graver, and you can tell he genuinely enjoys playing this part as a straightforward, no-nonsense, “get the job done” operative that he’s the best in the business at. As a character, Brolin seems even more at ease with Graver than he did with either Thanos or Cable, and that’s already some pretty strong pedigree of roles to exceed. Del Toro is also once again excellent as Alejandro, the absolute most lethal hitman on any screen, anywhere. He doesn’t get as much of a chance to shine in this one as one might like, but he plays the part like a champ and gets the most interesting character arc all the same, albeit lacking in the nuance or gravitas that his arc did in the first film. Even the kids (thought I’ve already addressed my issues with the narrative shortfalls of those characters) do really good work here. One feels that if Villeneuve had stuck around to direct the sequel, one of them might have gotten the chance to show off some true Oscar-caliber skills.

Villeneuve is not attached to this project though, and while director Stefano Solima’s take on the Sicario story may lack in narrative weight or more sensitive themes, he does an adequate job of placing and moving the camera in what seems like more of a tribute to Roger Deakins’ work than an emulation of it. He also has a great sense of place within what are some truly stellar action sequences that carry as much weight within their actual occurrences as the original Sicario did with the tension of the build-ups to those occurrences. It’s down-and-dirty, realistic, and most of all, brutal gunplay/warfare that truly drives these sequences home. I hesitate to call them “action,” sequences since they’re not really cut for blockbuster effect, and the sound design is biting and intense, but they are the only sequences where “action” happens in the film, so what are you gonna do?

On another note, the film’s third act is entirely too long, and there’s a relatively unbelievable thing that happens in it that’s supposed to introduce the finale, but it doesn’t really know how it wants to end until it just sort of does, and one wonders if they had about 4 separate endings, then just decided to put in all of them precisely because they needed to wrap up the one too many story threads they’d introduced. This, I’ve noticed, is becoming a trend among “good, not great” films: relatively weak third acts with good enough finales that forget to continue with the character developments and themes of the first two acts. Not every film has to follow a Blake Snyder three-act structure to the letter (we wouldn’t have some of the most interesting films we have today if they did), but it should always be clear what the overarching narrative and theme are meant to be, and with the third act of Day of the Soldado, that theme is fairly muddled up until a finale that feels half-baked.

All things considered, yes, Sicario: Day of the Soldado is a good movie (please don’t lose that), succeeding both as an action piece and as a character journey for the relationship between Brolin’s Matt Graver and Del Toro’s Alejandro. Unfortunately while it succeeds as a movie, it ultimately fails as a sequel, broadening the narrative just a bit too wide, and taking the most relatable character we had (Emily Blunt) out of the equation, to the effect of attempting to tell a darker story, without focusing on the darkness of the story. It’s still good enough that I would be interested in seeing a third (perhaps closing) chapter in a Sicario trilogy, but without Denis Villeneuve’s deft hands on the wheels of both theme and narrative, this installment strains under the weight of its trying to do too many things at once. Also (and I know this is a nitpick), Sicario: Day of the Soldado is way too clunky of a title. Like it’s the films it’s attached to, it’s not horrendously bad, but it would have been better as a simpler thing, without as much going on.

I’m giving “Sicario: Day of the Soldado” a 7.3/10

#Sicario: Day of the Soldado #Movie Review #The Friendly Film Fan #Sicario #Day of the Soldado #Soldado #Sicario 2 #Sicario 2: Soldado #Josh Brolin #Benicio Del Toro #Matthew Modine #Movie #Film #Review #2018 #New

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