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singsweetmelodies · 10 months

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AKA: angst, miscommunication and a/b/o, feat. brief/mentioned maxierre with piarles endgame (+ implied maxiel.) happy birthday @boxboxbrioche my love

"Hello, Charles," Max smiles when Charles runs into him (literally) in the Budapest paddock on Thursday. He's wearing the same Red Bull team shirt and jeans as ever, naturally, but something about him looks unusually relaxed and content. Sated, even.

Probably because he's been winning practically every race this season, Charles thinks. That's enough reason for anyone to be looking relaxed and content.

Still, when he steps in a little closer to fist-bump Max's proffered hand, he can't help but notice it. Max's scent is... more than just content. He smells like he's only just come out of heat, and whoever was taking care of him did a very good job of it. He doesn't smell like sex, precisely, but he smells like what Charles would imagine afterglow would, if it had a scent. Golden and lazy and sated.

Oh, he's got blockers on, of course, but Charles has always been blessed (or cursed, depending how you look at it) with a very good nose. So. He knows immediately.

Some too-perceptive instinct is telling him that the timing of this heat has something to do with Daniel's return to racing this weekend. Almost like Max... wanted to get his heat over with before he saw Daniel again?

...That's a big stretch, of course, and Charles would never dare say it out loud. (Except to Pierre, maybe, because Pierre loves theorising about the latest paddock gossip just as much as Charles does.)

So he just smiles politely at Max, and says "Hello" back, and wishes for Pierre to appear out of some corner of the paddock somewhere. It isn't that Charles hates Max, or whatever the media likes to spin, but it's also true that Max isn't Charles' most favourite person in the paddock. (Obviously, that honour goes to Pierre.)

No, Charles' and Max's relationship is simply that of colleagues - good enough, if a little bland.

Which is why Charles is not expecting it at all when Max leans a little closer with something that looks almost like a conspiratorial grin. Charles has no idea what Max might want to be conspiratorial about with him - it's not as though he's leaving Ferrari anytime soon, despite what everyone likes to speculate.

Surprisingly, what Max says to him is not racing or incident-related at all. "Do you know where Pierre is?" he asks, as though Charles is the most reliable source of the Alpine driver's whereabouts. (Charles shouldn't be, but he's very flattered.) "I still need to thank him."

"Thank him?" Charles echoes, a little puzzled. "For what?"

And then Max says the one thing that blows apart Charles' world and turns his day upside-down immediately. "For agreeing to spend my heat with me so last-minute."

He says it so casually, too, and Charles...

Well. Charles knows that many of the other unbonded omegas on the grid like to spend their heats with other drivers. This might seem contradictory at first, but the thing is - while they might not necessarily trust each other on track, you can always rely on the fact that another driver, at least, won't reveal details of that hook-up to the press anymore than you will. Most of the alpha drivers on the current grid are decent enough people off-track that you can trust you'd be taken good care of, too.

It's something that Charles has done himself, too, once or twice - mostly with Alex, who is always incredibly kind about it, and makes sure Charles is comfortable and well-hydrated afterwards.

But mostly, Charles spends his heats alone. He schedules them carefully so they won't interfere with races, and then he bears them on his own, teeth gritted as he works himself open over and over again and clings to whatever article of Pierre's clothing he can find nearby.

It's never good enough, never, but Charles has never really wanted another alpha. He only goes to Alex if his body genuinely cannot go without it anymore, and then it's purely a case of friend helping out a friend.

So, really, Charles has no reason to be this shocked that Max apparently spent his most recent heat with Pierre. The two of them are friends, aren't they? Much better than Charles and Max have ever pretended to be. There's no reason why they wouldn't spend a heat together, really.

Except...

Charles grits his teeth, and it's only years of media training that enables him to still pass it off as a smile. "He did?" he asks, tightly.

Max laughs, still happily unaware that he's taken Charles' day and shattered it like a glass breaking into unrecognisable shards. "Yes," he confirms, and then he bumps Charles' shoulder, almost unbearably conspiratorial again. "You, of course, would know why I now need to thank him."

No amount of media training in the world could have helped Charles keep up his smile in response to that. Max notices - how could he not - and his own smile falls. "You two have not...?" His voice rises up in the end, like he almost can't believe he even has to ask the question.

Charles tastes something sour in his mouth, and by the way Max flinches back, he's sure it must be all over his scent as well, blockers be damned. "No," is all Charles says, brusquely.

Max opens and closes his mouth for a moment, and then he reaches for Charles' shoulder. He hesitates, though, hand hovering awkwardly in the space between them. "I'm sorry," he says, and it sounds sincere. "For assuming. The two of you are so..." He makes a face. "You are good friends, so I thought if he would do it for me, he would of course do it for you too."

"No," Charles says again, and the word tastes acrid in his mouth. "We have never."

Not for lack of trying, Charles thinks bitterly, and then he forces himself to think of something else. Some excuse that Max will accept.

Fortunately, a little gaggle of people in bright Ferrari red are passing by, and Charles latches onto them with almost too much relief. "Ah, my team," he says, pointing. "I need to go."

It's stupidly obvious, as excuses go, but Max has the grace not to mention it. He just watches Charles go, biting his lip.

Charles wants to hate him. He wants to hate him more than anything else - for having a race-winning car, and a team that supports him properly, and championships, but more importantly than any of that, Charles wants to hate him for having Pierre.

It's not that Charles thinks Max is actually in love with Pierre, or even that they're courting. No, it was clearly just a case of friend-helping-out-friend. But even that is...

Unbearable. It is unbearable, because Charles hasn't had even that much.

Charles had only asked once, and only because he'd been stupid with pre-heat already and not thinking straight. Pierre's long, long silence before he'd said, very gently, "Charles... I don't think that's a good idea" had told him all he'd needed to know, anyway.

After that heat, though, Pierre had called Charles and made sure he was okay, and that he knew it wasn't personal, Pierre just didn't think it was a good idea to get that involved with another driver. Especially one who's also a friend.

Charles had accepted it at the time, and he's never had any reason to think that Pierre has changed his mind in any way.

Except now here Pierre is, apparently spending heats with Max fucking Verstappen, of all people. And, really. Out of everyone on the grid - every goddamn omega - it had to be Max, didn't it?

A part of Charles wants to fall to the floor in devastation, wants to tear at his hair and shake and cry to anyone who will listen, why doesn't he want me, why doesn't he want me?

But Charles remains standing, because even more than he's heartbroken, he's furious.

Pierre did not help Max through his heat because they're in love, or because they're courting. So, he must have done it as a favour to a friend.

Then why the hell would he not do the same for Charles?

Charles also asked him as a favour to a friend (and yes, maybe Charles wanted more, but he wasn't stupid enough to ask for that. He'd just asked for a favour, the way every unbonded omega on the goddamned grid asks their alpha friends for favours every once in a while.)

Pierre had said no, and that he doesn't do that. But he'd forgotten to mention the part where he apparently does do that.

If he were here, Charles might slap him clean through the face. It's not an urge he's often had when it comes to Pierre (or ever, really) but today...

Today. It's just. What the hell does Max have that he doesn't? Max and Pierre are friends? Charles and Pierre are better friends. Max is an omega? So is Charles, and he's better at that, too.

It's obviously not even about looks! Because Charles doesn't want to be rude, but he is definitely better-looking than Max. It's just a fact, as true as "the grass is green" or "Charles is Monégasque" or "Charles is in love with Pierre."

No. Fuck that. None of this makes sense.

If Pierre is willing to spend a heat with Max, then there's no reason why he can't help Charles through one, too. It's not like Charles is asking Pierre to love him back - no, he's long since made his peace with the fact that that, at least, is impossible.

Charles has always wanted too much, though, and if he sees even the faintest chance of getting what he wants, even if it is just in the form of a favour to a friend -- well. He will never not go for the gap.

So Charles waits, increasingly impatient, for his media and team obligations to be done for the day. As soon as they are, he heads for Alpine, because there is no way Pierre will have left already - he is far too dedicated to them, staying behind extra hours to learn as many names as he can and give as much feedback as possible and help with everything that needs helping.

Right, because isn't Pierre just so incredibly helpful. Normally, this would make Charles smile, fond - but today, it makes him want to snarl.

Helpful, yes. Except to him, apparently.

No. Charles will not accept that.

Various team members glance up when Charles storms into the Alpine hospitality, freezing with coffees half-way to their lips and tracking him like the spectators to a tennis match as he storms across their building and towards the driver's rooms. One particularly brave soul ventures an "Er..." but Charles is already across the room before he's even finished saying it.

Charles knows the way to Pierre's driver's room as easily as he knows the way to his own (incidentally, it's on the same side of the building) and it's mere seconds later that he's bursting through the door of Pierre's driver's room.

Pierre freezes when the door slams open, mouth caught in a comically surprised expression, but it relaxes quickly into a fond (if still somewhat surprised) smile. "Charlito!" he says, standing up and reaching a hand in Charles' general direction. "This is a nice surprise."

But Charles is not in any mood for pleasantries. "Did you spend a heat with Max," he asks, but it's not really a question as much as it is an accusation, pointed and sharp.

Pierre freezes again, the smile slowly dropping off his face. His scent goes bitter with unpleasant surprise. "I -"

"If you lie to me, I am going to slap you," Charles says, injecting the words with just enough of a snarl that Pierre will know he's not messing around.

Pierre's expression goes from shocked to hurt to angry almost faster than Charles can process. "I wasn't going to lie to you, Charlo. I would never. Not with you."

He sounds sincere enough about it that Charles almost feels guilty, but then Pierre adds, "He's just a friend who needed a favour" and Charles is right back to furious.

"I was a friend, and I needed a favour," Charles says bitingly. He doesn't have to say anything more, because he knows Pierre will understand exactly what he means.

Pierre's face shutters, closing off completely. Even his scent goes blank, like Pierre is deliberately shutting off every part of himself. "That's different."

"How?" Charles hisses at him, and Pierre obviously wasn't expecting the vehemence of it, because he stumbles a step back. "How the hell is it different, huh?"

Pierre's expression does something complicated, and he makes a rough noise, low in the back of his throat. "It just is," he says, and refuses to elaborate.

Charles is livid. "It just is?!" he explodes. "Tell me how it just is, Pierrot, because I sure as fuck don't get it. I am your friend - non, I am your best friend - but when I ask for this favour, you say no. Then when it is Max, you say yes?"

"It's different," Pierre says again, sharply, as though sharpness alone will make Charles drop the subject.

He really doesn't know Charles if he thinks that will work. "It is not different. Not at all. What, unless you are trying to say that you don't want me?"

"Of course I-" Pierre starts, then cuts himself off with a groan, dragging a hand down his face. "I don't want to do this with you, Charles."

"Well, I want to do this with you," Charles retorts, unfazed and as fuming as ever. "What is it, huh, Pierre? You prefer Max over me?"

"Of course not," Pierre says, and he has the audacity to sound almost offended.

"But you must, if you fucked him and not me," Charles snaps. He's not entirely sure what he's trying to accomplish here, but he knows - he knows that he's furious, and Pierre is being a fucking asshole, and he needs Pierre to admit that much. At least.

Pierre, however, seems determined to continue being a stubborn asshole. "It wasn't like that," he insists, and Charles sees red.

"It's exactly like that! I asked you to fuck me, to help me through my heat, and you said no because you do not want me."

And that, somehow, is the last straw.

"Shut up, Charles," Pierre growls - actually growls - at him. "Just, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I don't?" Charles snaps right back, goading. "Why don't you tell me, then?"

Pierre snarls again, guttural and furious, and Charles knows that he should be terrified. But right now, he's far too furious to care.

"Tell me," Charles goads again, because he knows that nothing will ever compel Pierre as much as a challenge will.

Pierre is breathing hard, his fists clenched, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly. "You think you know what happened with Max, huh?" he asks, and Charles has never heard him sound like that. Despite himself, it sends a thrill through Charles' whole body. "You think you know what I want and don't want?"

Charles lets his belligerent silence do the talking for him, and Pierre's eyes flash. "Well, do you know that none of it is true? Do you know that none of the rumours of me with all those omegas are true?"

"What do you--" Charles begins, but Pierre cuts him off with a single hand held up, raised as sharply as a slap.

"Do you know, Charlito," he says, almost viciously, "that I've never been able to date any other omega for longer than a few months because I was always comparing them to you?"

Charles jolts where he stands, all the breath wrenched from him. "What--"

But Pierre doesn't give him a moment to process that. "Do you know that I only agreed to spend this heat with Max because he was desperate and out of options?"

"Do you know," Pierre continues, dangerously soft, "that I had to think of you just to be able to come at all?" He stalks a single step closer to Charles. "Do you know that I had to pretend it was you all the time just so that my knot wouldn't go down?" Another step, and Charles is shaking all over, but he can't move. Pierre has him pinned down, completely rooted to the spot with his scorching gaze and world-ending words.

"Do you know," Pierre concludes, softest of all, "why I really said I wouldn't spend a heat with you?"

Charles isn't sure how he even manages to form the word. "Why?"

Pierre's eyes are so, so dark as he stops just in front of Charles, raising one hand to ghost just millimetres above Charles' collarbone. "Because," he says, and his voice is rough. "I knew that if I did, Charles, if I fucked you even just once, I wouldn't be able to hold back. I would bite you, then and there, and I would make you mine."

All the while that he's been speaking, Pierre has been tracing his fingers upwards, a slow, slow torturous slide mere centimetres above Charles' skin. Charles can almost feel the heat of his touch, almost but not quite, and when Pierre stops just below Charles' mating gland - Charles whines and shudders forward, the combination of Pierre's hand there and that word mine too much for him to resist.

Pierre's fingers touch the overheated skin of Charles' mating gland, and the world explodes.

Charles' knees buckle, and his head spins, and he has to press his thighs together in a desperate effort to ease the sudden and burning need there. He's wet, he can feel it, leaking slick all over the place just from that one touch.

Pierre jerks his hand back, of course, but even that split-second of contact was enough to destroy Charles perfectly.

Pierre is panting, and he looks about as wrecked as Charles feels. "So do not stand there and tell me that I don't want you, Charles," he says, and his voice shakes - anger or desperation, Charles can't tell. "Not when I have done nothing but want you for as long as I have known how to want."

Charles shudders, the full weight of Pierre's words sinking in on him all at once. As Charles stands there, processing, he watches as the world rearranges itself entirely.

Charles breathes in, and then he breathes out. "Fuck you, Pear," he says, only a little shakily. "No, seriously, fuck you. How obvious do you need me to be? I literally asked you to spend my heat with me!"

For a moment, Pierre looks so indignant that he forgets to be angry. "You asked it as a favour to a friend!" he protests. "I just said, I can't do that! Not if it's you."

"Yeah, well," Charles says waspishly, "I only asked it like that because I thought you would say no otherwise."

And all at once, Pierre's expression transforms as he comes to the same sudden and brilliant realisation Charles just had.

"Charles," he says, shell-shocked. "If you're saying what I think you're saying..."

He glances down at his hands, clenches them tightly into fists again, then looks back up at Charles, his gaze burning. "You have to know, you can't take it back. I'm not going to let you take it back. Not if you mean it."

"God, Pierre, you are so fucking stupid," Charles says, and alright, maybe he is still a little angry about the whole situation, after all. (He thinks he has the right to be, though.) "Why do you think I was so angry that you went for Max?"

When Pierre doesn't say anything immediately, Charles snaps off a sharp step into Pierre's space, flicking his fingers against Pierre's forehead. "Yeah, it's because I wanted you to choose me. Only me."

Pierre's hand comes up, grabbing Charles' wrist in a bruise-tight hold. He draws Charles' hand away from his face, but then he doesn't let go, just keeps holding on, fingers circling Charles' wrist like they're meant to fit there. "Only you?" he echoes, and it sounds like a question.

Charles nods, because there was never any other answer, and he's about to say it, too, but then Pierre kisses the words right off his mouth.

If Charles' world hadn't already exploded so thoroughly earlier, then it would now.

It's a good kiss. No, it's better than a good kiss - it's a fucking incredible kiss; Pierre's one hand still wrapped around Charles' wrist while the other finds its way to his waist, like it belongs there. Pierre kisses him like he's still a little angry, but also like he's never meant anything more, pouring every part of his soul into it. Pierre kisses him like he's already imagining the night they're going to spend together after this, and he kisses Charles like how he's planning to fuck him later.

Charles has no objections to that. None at all.

Well. Except the one.

He pulls away from the kiss, pressing his palm hard to the side of Pierre's face. "You're going to spend my next heat with me," he says, orders more like, and it's far too possessive, but he can't bring himself to care. Not one goddamned bit.

Pierre growls, low in his throat, and pulls Charles even closer to him. "No, chéri," he says, too-softly. "I'm going to spend every single heat with you from now on. Forever."

"Forever," Charles breathes, and then he kisses Pierre again, hard, making it a promise. "Forever."

#posted this at 01:16 which is not QUITE 1016 but as close as i could get on this fine evening #HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIONYYYY #myfic #piarles fic #10 x 16 #maxierre #(technically)#(they're really only there as a plot device to get us to piarles endgame)#in other news WHOA MY GOD THIS GOT LONG #(who's surprised....)#but i SWEAR the intention was just to write you something short and sweet for your birthday today since #since we'll only be releasing the main fic later #(well; i say short and sweet; but i don't think SWEETNESS was ever the intention. i wanted to write possessiveness)#(and also miscommunication and misunderstanding and all them GLORIOUS angsty tropes)#and since i have absolutely no self-control to speak of... here we are #BRIONY. my love. i love you so much #please accept this humble offering of my first ever publicly posted a/b/o on the occasion of your birthday #sorry for making the boys angry at each other but i unfortunately think it's very hot to make them scream confessions at each other #hot angry confessions... CHEF'S KISS #and i really hope you like this too!! and go as insane as i did over certain lines #because by God... i fear that you have created a monster #now that i have discovered a/b/o i am NEVER LOOKING BACK #this was so fucking fun to write oh my god. JEEZ #but anyways!! getting distracted here #HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN MY LOVE #and before you say this is too much.... NO. we can never celebrate your birthday too much #this is just more proof to that end #LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY ❤️❤️❤️#briony's birthday bonanza 😘

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kukekakuningaskris · 2 months

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Still trying to process this concert but the highlight was someone shouting eestlane olen ja eestlaseks jään and then every estonian singing it and confusing the shit out of the band

#joker out #also bojan taökong abt the song etc and kris just going ok guitar time #also bojan fake slapping kris for a long while??#i love them #also i got to see my girl alika live?#and they played astp vkv and ccc??? estonians keep winning #bojan saying whoa you giys are singing so well. thanks its the practice we get at the national song festivals #ääääääää!!!!!!!#also bojan side hugging kris for one of the hug your best friends

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definitelynotshouting · 5 months

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okay 3am anon again (although you likely have more than one of those, the most recent 3am anon) after some sleep, still thinking about the overlap between the player Grian’s last memories of his code being devoured and the pre grian larval watcher’s memory of doing the devouring. in this au there’s no concept of the soul, it’s just code all the way down? so like… player grian’s code didn’t get shucked off to the greater universe and recycled. it’s still *there*, making up watcher grian. like he’s a fusion of the two, chimera like— or worse, a stranger wearing player grians corpse.

side note: while ik the listeners aren’t that well known (if known at all) to the players, i think the process of becoming a listener and becoming a watcher artificially are eerily similar. the difference to me being that one has a clear delineation in the before and the after, the player and the watcher, while the other leaves outsiders wondering exactly how much of their friend is left. you’re giving ME brain worms.

side side note: re: Doc’s Mystery Solution: think it would incredibly funny for it to be a radio tower broadcasting the Watcher Food Frequency. Many jokes to be had. Fortunately i’m making all of them:

1) grian simply thinking real hard at the air to eat call that Same-Second Delivery

(like that one telekinesis pizza image)

2) *Incomprehensible static noises* “YOU’RE LISTENING TO—“ *Rapid screeching and clicking* “— THE WATCHER RADIO—“ *hissing, skittering, shrieking* “—THE BEST (only) ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET ON AIR!” *three seconds of the time honored watcher classic Maneater by Nelly Furtado blares before being subsumed by crushing static*

3) No one gets to change the station on road trips it’s crushing static or grian gets the munchies and throws them into another death game.

side side side note (side x3 note?), grians specific set of issues around feeding is so interesting to me— knowing that what helps you will directly hurt others, imo, really validates the fear a lot of ill— mentally and physically— people have about being a burden on those they love, and getting themselves hurt in the process of attempting to protect their loved ones. it also follows that up by saying “you might be a burden! But it’s the choice of others to help you. What a world it would be if all we meant to each other was the burdens we give and take.” idk i could be grossly misinterpreting it. but it is an interesting thought to me.

additionally, i like the rounded focus you have on everyone— seeing how everyone is 1) handling this extreme situation, 2) what they do with the little information they have/have figured out is so wonderfully twisty. it grounds the fic in an emotional reality, whilst using scifi/fantasy concepts to form the set on which that emotional reality is played out. immaculate.

side x4 note:

imagine some therapist phones grian and is like “ay so i got a patient that’s emotionally repressed out the wazoo can you come take a bite so they can figure out how to label the emotions they’re feeling thanks”

grian: how did you get this number.

side x5 note:

all i’m saying is that TECHNICALLY player grians code is still inside watcher grian :) in pieces :) like a gruesome patchwork making up his memory code and surface code :) that must look soooooooooo silly from xisumas perspective. incredibly silly. lethally silly even. 14 dead 62 injured silly event.

side x6 note:

the approach your world building has for the ethical implications of genetic modification and self driven evolution is simply. chefs kiss.

like watchers changed the cores of themselves to escape over hunting by the seekers. players recreationally change their skins. listeners meld and learn from their hosts code just as much as they impart themselves on their hosts. It’s normal at different levels but also held in a higher regard than just the irl concept of “what if rich people could design their babies :) surely nothing can go wrong with that” i mean it’s more nuanced but i gotta write abt that for a lot of my classes so i will spare you the ramble (IN THAT REGARD SPECIFICALLY. YOU ARE NOT SPARED IN ANY OTHER. MY APOLOGIES)

intelligent design but the maker and the molded are one and the same. in the words of half-alive’s hit song “creature”, every living thing here is “creation both haunted and holy”, the universe experiencing itself, through infinitely recycled code.

side x7 note:

you mentioned the dev crystals blowing up if there was too much stress on the system w too many abandoned worlds. call that chernobyl the way that— *loud incorrect buzzer sounds*

anyways that’s not all the thoughts i have but i need to fuel my body with something that’s not brain rot and ideally has some protein in it lmfao.

hope you enjoy this ramble, and have a wonderful day!

ANON I LOVE AND ADORE THESE RAMBLES THIS IS SO ENRICHING FOR ME TO READ ALSO YOUR JOKES ARE SO ON POINT IM LOSING MY MIND RN SKDNAJFNSKDNSJDJDJ

Genuinely its so so lovely to read people's thoughts and analysis' for hunger au-- i am utterly obsessed with what everyone's different takeaways are, and the common thread between them. And like!!! What you're reading into it is stuff i have done my best to carefully insert and im SO HAPPY its coming across!!!! Watcher!Grian does have an exact copy of Player!Grian's memory code-- he's pretty much the exact same person in my eyes, just... different. Idk its hard to explain. But my thought on the whole ship of theseus situation has ALWAYS been "its still you if thats what you choose." and thats ultimately what i want to portray for Grian as well.

Smth smth "show me a permanent state of the self" and "trauma changes you irrevocably but so does healing" and "sometimes you replace your host (hi fellow systems im waving)" and also a little of that good old trans "i killed and ate the person i was and became something different but im also still me" flavour all at the same time. There are a ton of different things im referencing in the entire idea of Grian killing and replacing himself and containing those trace amounts of that original code and they are all SO integral to the story for me. I think at the end of the day its very much a "i was changed and theres nothing i can do about that but i can keep moving forward as i grieve" type situation. Taps mic is this thing on. This room is so dark

Im so glad youve made all the Grian munchies jokes bc these are STELLAR

For the mental health thing!!! Yes!!!! Yes oh my gods it is SO important to me to have that as part of this portrayal, that yes sometimes we hurt each other and sometimes we hurt each other badly-- but we are still a COMMUNITY and that means there is a deliberate choice in choosing to provide support anyways. I'll fully admit that i didnt necessarily go into this fic with like, a moral in mind?? In its most honest form, this fic is just a depiction, as is most of my work-- i really enjoy exploring the messy realities of terrible situations, often without any good answers, and navigating the maze of their ugly results when everybody is just trying their best. But i'll never say im not glad that this is something being taken out of reading this fic-- its about the community of it all. Its about how sometimes you hurt people and they can love you and support you anyway. Its about how sometimes people hurt you and you can also continue to support them. Like youve put so elegantly here: where would we be if we only measured our relationships in how much of a burden they are to us???? If we only gave a shit about the transaction of it all???? idk its all so deeply human to me and thats ultimately what i like about this fic, is the humanity in it, and the nuance, and the complexity of a terrible situation where everything is understandable and just plain sucks.

Im genuinely so glad that you're enjoying how rounded everything is-- ive been working really hard to make sure everyone gets a little bit of a spotlight, and that spotlight is going to expand SIGNIFICANTLY once we get to hermitcraft again. My work is cut out for me LOL especially because i have an obsession with doing right by every character, but i do genuinely enjoy taking that deeper dive into hermits im far less familiar with-- im having lots of fun lowkey studying Welsknight in particular rn via Iskall's hermitcraft vault hunters series. Im hoping it pays off when i eventually get to his little spotlight :]

Also okay MAN i will candidly admit i didnt even THINK about genetic modification ethics when coming up with this worldbuilding. I think my thought process on it was more or less that i wanted to do something more unique than hybrids but without sacrificing the aesthetic options and so i came up with "everybody is functionally a shapeshifter, there we go, cool" and my trans ass slammed the IMMEDIATE ACCEPT button bc gods. Ideal fucking world i would like to be a lion. U kno how it is. But im very glad you find this so interesting and!!!! Thats SO COOL that ive managed to connect to smth youre so passionate about irl!!!! Also i find just what youve mentioned here to be a very very interesting subject so if you ever want to ramble more about it i would love to hear!!!! :D

Gods okay this got long but i adore this ask and also the "YOU'RE MOLDY??????" TRULY GOT TO ME AKDNWKDNSKDN IT LEGIT SENT ME INTO A COUGHING FIT HELP,,,,,,,, tysm for sending these, they made my day and im glad i finally got the chance to respond to them :]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #long post #EKFNEKNFDN IVE BEEN BUSY SO IM GLAD IVE FINALLY GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO RESPOND TO THESE HEHEHE #ANON I AM SHAKING UR HAND I LOVED READING #txt #edit: whoa the formatting on this got fucked to hell but i think i have it fixed now #edit edit: god personally hates me and wont let me do a readmore. loadbearing long post tag it is

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blush-and-books · 2 years

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something i haven't seen mentioned about the Baymax + Sofia episode (and the final episode about finding Baymax) is the way they depict Sofia's ability to talk about her period!! When her best friend Ali, who I believe identifies as a guy, comes to check on her in the bathroom, instead of her blushing and freaking out and being like "it's girl stuff you wouldn't understand!!" - which is an incorrect and very Disney channel response - she's like "dude I have my PERIOD I am IN PAIN and there is stuff COMING OUT OF ME" and he is like "whoa dude I'm sorry but also cool!! I remember when my sister got hers!!" And then she brings her period up to Hiro later when she meets him!! And it's like yeah this is how friendships should be and how periods should be talked about and treated in our day to day lives without shame or embarrassment

#baymax #baymax disney+#the whole episode was amazing and i loved every part of it - esp when he was in the store getting peoples advice #and then comes back with BAGS of stuff🥲🥲 i melted i was so happy #one of the only things i wanted to happen was them being like 'whoa you got so much stuff it'll take me a long time to get thru it...'#'so lets just leave it in the bathroom for anyone to freely use if they need it!!'

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winter-spark · 20 days

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Citron's Love and Limited Self Value Disguised as Coldness & Selfishness!

Okay! So, I said I had thoughts back in December about Citron's coldness & 'selfishness' so let me actually share them now. (I was starting to doubt doing this but one of my mutuals said I should share my thoughts on a3! things and that they'd like to hear them, and this is one I really wanted to share so here I go!)

Intro/Too long; didn't read:

There are three things that I feel are true about Citron:

He loves and values everyone so much.

For the longest time, he saw himself as a title

These things combined into him making decisions that on the surface come off as cold and or selfish but underneath are dripping in love and care.

Table of contents

Paragraphs 1 -3: Fleeing Zafra Paragraphs 4 -6: Joining & Leaving Mankai Paragraphs 7-9: Leaving Guy & Lies Paragraphs 10-14: Citron vs Tangerine and their Dad Paragraphs 15-16: Good now right? Paragraphs 17-22: Tangerine in Citron's Past Role {additional thoughts on this: here.} Paragraphs 23-24: Conclusion

Let's begin with the reason he even fled Zafra in the first place. Citron was being targetted, by those who thought his brothers were better fit to rule than he. And he was aware of this being the reason strange things were happening. At least, seeing as Guy had the suspicion/knew, I don't see why Citron wouldn't have.

Instead of voicing what was going on or raising any suspicions, he just left. He couldn't let them win win because his only value is his role, he's the Crown Prince. It's all he is. But he loves his people and he loves his brothers. He's not going to cause them any problems. They want him gone. Alright, he'll leave, silently without a word to anyone. Is it selfish to leave those who care deeply about you with a word? Well, some people might say, "obviously" but Citron loves so much and refuses to stop existing in the only way he knows, so he couldn't say a word.

What was he supposed to do? Say goodbye to Tangerine and cause him to worry and rouse suspicion on others? Tangerine is very headstrong, he would've wanted to get to the bottom of it(pin on that). Similar thing with Guy, if Citron told him he wanted to leave, Guy likely would have suggested that he say something, if Guy didn't just follow him. He can't really go undercover with Guy around, and maybe he wanted Guy to have a break from being at his beck and call(more on that later). If he announced anything of this to his father, his father would have gotten to the bottom of it. Citron selfishly chose to leave, without a word. But when you think about his motives he wasn't just being selfish, he was trying to protect people because he cares so much.

Then he gets to Japan and ends up finding a struggling theater that just needs a few more hands. He's not gonna stay for long. He can't stay forever. But what's the harm in lending a hand? Afterall, he's always loved the arts.

But then something strange happens. He acts completely different than who he is, completely different than whats expected of him. And they value him anyway. It's beyond just needing another person for the play. They care about him as a person. It's not yet addressed not fully, not really but it's there. And he cares about them. So he pours his heart into them but keeps a distance as best he can, he can't stay he knows this. They can't learn more, they can't care more, they can't be sad about his departure.

Of course, they were gonna be, and of course, Guy was gonna find him. He knew his time was coming to a close when Tsuzuru brought that souvenir. So when Guy arrived, it wasn't the time to dwell on it. On his desires, on his wants. He wasn't allowed to have those. He's the Crown Prince. He must go ascend to the throne lest Orange do. As is his role. As is who he is. As is what he's good for. It's what he's meant to do. He didn't want to leave but he has to and it's going to be sad and hurt. And he loves Mankai, Spring Troupe so much, he doesn't want them to be too sad about his departure. So he creates a list of tasks--a distraction--one for each of them, he can't pretend he's not leaving but he can make it fun and silly for them. Itaru pays for a buffet, Tsuzuru joins him in Manzai, Masumi lets him have some time with Izumi. They're small things to prepare for the goodbye but they can't have an actual goodbye, it'd be too sad. So he gives Sakuya the task of performing with Mankai, something he never plans to do but is something nice for Sakuya to look forward to he doesn't realize the hope he's planting, the hint he's leaving of his own desires, but he does. I believe it's called a Freudian Slip. And that's what he does by putting Sakuya last, with Chikage's Vanishing Citron act before it.

But! Before we move on we can't leave out his love for Guy. Leaving Mankai, Spring Troupe without a real goodbye is harsh, it's selfish, it's unfair, they weren't ready, he left too fast. It was sudden, no one really got any sort of closure. But leaving Guy behind(again) and telling the people of Zafra that Guy held him hostage against his will in Japan, that's cold, that's vicious, that's confusing. That's Citron's love.

When Citron was a little tiny child, he looked at that messed up soldier in training and decided that was his person. And overtime found out just how messed up he was, and Citron wanted to help. He wanted to prove to Guy he wasn't an android, wanted to get him in touch with his emotions to some extent, wanted to get him to be able to do things for himself. Here's where we continue on the "more on that later" point, Citron understands how much Guy has devoted himself to Citron and Citron specifically, and he wanted Guy to be able to be his own person, to have a freedom Citron couldn't have. I like to believe part of the reason he didn't take Guy along with him in the first place was to sort of start that divide, to let him exist on his own, as his own person. We know that goes into him leaving him in Japan with 0 way to return to Zafra. Citron wanted so much for Guy to find his own personhood, and connect with himself, his roots, and he knew Mankai was a great source of support for Guy, because Citron vetted them. Citron loved Guy so much he'd rather be without him than let Guy continue without his own sense of self, his own purpose. His freedom was ending but he wanted to gift Guy with it.

Was it one of the ugliest ways to do it? Oh absolutely, but Citron's quick and analytical. He knew if he just said he intended on leaving without Guy, Guy would have probably followed anyway. So he asked himself how can he ensure Guy's not going to follow him and has a way to remember his past, so he leaves Guy's charm with Izumi and he returns home lying that Guy was at fault for his absence. Guy can't come in, and even though Guy's been cast out of Zafra, Citron can see this as reassurance, he knows Guy is somewhere nice and he knows, in theory, Guy's not coming back to Zafra. Did Citron really never want to see Guy again? Of course not! Like Mankai, Citron loves Guy a lot, but Citron doesn't want to doom people to sorrowful fates.

Take his brothers for example. If Tangerine hadn't been apart of the rescue plot whatsoever, Citron would have done his best to still not rat out Orange and Navel. Citron been knew they wanted him out of the picture. He knew. But he doesn't want them to have to suffer. Even if they were never close like he'd have liked, even if they hated him, even if they were trying to steal the one thing he was allowed to exist as, even if they were trying to kill him. Citron loved his brothers and valued their well-being. He didn't want them to be in trouble surely not behind him and he would've kept that secret to his grave because of that.

But things can't always go how you want them or to your plan. Tangerine (unpinning that earlier point), is very headstrong and he sees things a little more equally. His brothers are all people, and two of them were apart of a plot to kidnap and murder his other brother. He was supposed to keep quiet about that? Lots of people were nearly injured in the event. Of course, he was going to tell his father what happened. Brothers or not that wasn't okay.

And the King, very much like Tangerine, sees things more equally. The King like Citron has a role he must fulfill but he doesn't seem to have the same problem as Citron where it's all he sees in himself(I think, he's seemed to spend very little time with his kids as they grew up so that up for debate), he loves but he can put that aside and think about what's fair for all parties.

It's not fair, for Orange and Navel to simply just be scolded because they are his sons, this was a serious offense, he must treat it as such. It's not fair, for Citron to lie to the people, to lie on his retainer who has done nothing wrong. There are many things to consider. Is him allowing Citron to be an ambassador(was that the word? Idr) of the arts being a little soft on him? Honestly, I don't know, maybe, but he loves his son and he understands that he must have been struggling and in fear of running away because he was being plotted against, not saying anything because he has a big heart. And he just nearly died. He can't let someone so willing to lie over being upfront and stopping issues early on because of feelings be the next in charge, but he knows Citron is very capable and he sees the warmth of Spring Troupe, Mankai with Citron. He understands that where the Palace lacked for Citron, Mankai picked up for it. Citron had a home away from home but also wanted to serve his country. The King, his father, didn't really want to take either away from him. So he gave him a new role, a way he can have both. [How did this become a meta about his dad? lol] This scene, Citron goes through likely a lot of emotions.

Being stripped of his role, the one thing he's lived for, his one purpose in life, the thing he's fought for jeopardizing his relationship with his brothers, his sense of value. That mess is heartwrenching, it's scary. He just failed to protect his brothers from punishment and he lost the one thing he refused to ever actually give up. Now what?

Now, his father gives him a gift. A gift truly of freedom, decorated in a nice bow of still being valuable to his country but also showing him that his value wasn't just his title. He didn't have to be Crown Prince to be worth something. Could he have left the title sooner? Who can say? But right now, his father is basically saying "I love you and I value your happiness" and what more could Citron really ask for? Things are starting to look up for Citron, Guy was able to start healing from his past, Citron gets to return to Mankai and exist and have value and above all be loved. Everything is great.

Except then there's Tangerine.

Many of Citron's problems growing up were tied to him being the Crown Prince, it's restricting, it expects a lot of you, and it's a sad existence. That's how Citron views the title of Crown Prince, even if subconsciously, it's a bad thing to be thrown upon someone. It's something that destroys your sense of worth. How could Citron do that to someone he loves so dearly? He ran off, to be happy, to have a sense of worth outside of the title of Crown Prince, he left his precious little brother for dead, and what kind of person is he to do that? His suspicions "confirmed", when Tangerine shows up unannounced after running away from home.

Citron is so used to seeing himself as "the Crown Prince" he doesn't even consider that Tangerine just missed his brother, or wanted to ask for some sort of comfort or advice or anything like that. Because Citron was the former Crown Prince and Tangerine is the current one. That's where is mind is at. Citron is reliving all those years mentally and worrying that Tangerine is living like he was. Why else would Tangerine run away and come see Citron, who was once in his position? So his love for Tangerine and his pain from only seeing himself as a title combine into guilt, and that guilt turns him cold.

He can't rub salt in Tangerine's wounds by showing how happy he is without the burdens of the crown staring him down. He can't flaunt his freedom. He can't bare seeing Tangerine suffer the way he did. So he frowns and he gets serious. There are expectations of the Crown Prince, too. And Citron has those embedded into his very being. And he tries to somewhat of what you'd expect someone to be after having prepared for a role for years to someone now in their role. And he tries to get Tangerine to go back as quickly as possible. And it's selfish to send someone away because of your own feelings and not what they've done but it's also so complicated for Citron.

He's not mad at Tangerine, he's sad for him and mad at himself and every second Tangerine's there is a reminder of all of that and a show of Citron being a bad influence probably. Citron's used to falling in line and fulfilling duties so as he becomes somewhat of what you'd expect of a serious mentor, it makes sense that he's falling back into that mentally, the proving oneself to the right/expected thing to do. A good older brother/mentor wouldn't let his brother who needs to be preparing for a big event miss practice and possibly the event. A good older brother doesn't brag about how good he has it now that the younger one has it worse.

Of course, thanks to Masumi's patience with Tangerine and Spring Troupe's patience with Citron, he was able to turn his love warm again. But it was a bit rough getting there. Like the other events before.

Honestly, there's so much more that can be focused on about Citron and a part of me wants to go on a tangent about the little slips he has like the wish he'd given Sakuya and how his emotions slip through in other ways like how he got kidnapped and stuff like that. But I should probably reread things again before/if I do that. The important part here is just that I'm so fascinated by how Citron is just so full of love but for so long lack a full sense of self outside of the Crown, (not to say he didn't have interests and desires but more in the sense that nothing he had interest in or desired fully mattered in the long run because it was insignificant to the role he was meant to play, in case I haven't made that clear) and how those things combine into actions that are cold and or selfish but also so layered and so full of care.

Citron is so !!! my heart! Idk how to put it quite into words but I haven't really seen people like full-on analyze him really (outside of some analyzing in fanfictions really funnily enough) and I wanted to just give him a bit of focus. Honestly, it was long over due with how much I talk about his brothers. I didn't even say everything I thought but that's okay. Just means more opportunity for me to talk about him again later.

#a3!#act addict actors #Citron a3 #<- me using real tags. whoa!#long post #Citron & his brothers #The Zafran Princes #I want this to appear when people are looking at my posts about the others even though I brush over Orange and Navel in this post #(See I told you Citron was my favorite)#also I hope this doesn't get less strong as it goes on #and that none of the points fall flat #I often like to pull direct examples and evidence but I didn't for this one #but it's got me thinking I should totally try again to write that ship essay

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piratesofthedarkwidesea · 1 year

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So I’m just re-watching episode 3 and... I really love the scenes between Louis and Jonah and.. it just occurred to me how extremely human these scenes make Louis look? Like his accent getting all strong makes total sense in the context of him talking to someone from his youth, someone who is a Black man as well.

But it it also occurred to me this is the first (and only?!) time we really see Louis flirting? Like we’ve never seen him have this kind of confidence before? He was very much denying and fighting his homosexuality when he meets Lestat (you can see it quite explicitly in a couple of scenes, also him concluding this could never happen again after having sex with Lestat for the first time). But Jonah is somebody he is familiar with, someone he knows is also queer, plus it is already established there is some mutual attraction which is being rekindled. But it is Louis actively flirting with him. Asking if he remembers their shared youth [and their “early fumbles”], which is in part due to Lestat watching them, I guess, getting even with him in a way, calling him out on his “of course”.

But but BUT what I really wanted to say (sorry for getting off track a bit there ahsdhoas) is... there is no vampire moves to it. There is no indication he’s reading his mind, influencing him in any way with his newly won powers (which he is also still rejecting to a degree at this point). Just some very human “do you remember” and “look at my cool car” (aiosdadhs Louis I can’t even 😂😂😂). It’s just so abusrdly cute and very deeply human in a way?

And I do kinda see how Lestat is jealous here, because Louis has never been flirting with him like this. And he keeps telling Louis (and us) how much he wants Louis to explicitly say / show he loves him?

I mean of course it is on the other hand very obvious how Louis wasn’t like that with Lestat when he met him. One part being him struggling a lot more with his sexuality and his shame about it there. But also Lestat is being very active in pursuing Louis. Louis describes it as being hunted (we’re gonna ignore the unreliable narrator level here bc I don’t wanna go this deep here - and also bc I do believe it in general terms, I guess). Like there are parts where we see Lestat taking it kinda slow, including Lilly there to ease Louis into it. But also then getting very insistent, basically jumping a distraught Louis who is in shock over the death of his brother (with he witnessed first hand, his mother blaming him for it etc.), not leaving him alone... But then here on the other hand also Louis isn’t being only passive here. I love how it is very clearly him initiating the kiss with Lestat after Lilly is out of the picture. All these nuances and complexities really are what makes their relationship so compelling I think!

And uh... I guess I also have some thoughts about Lestat courting Louis and Vampire Moves tbh (bc I introduced the absence of them in Louis flirting with Jonah) but this post is already so long 🙈 What it does probably boil down to though (not 100% sure bc I haven’t really thought this through yet). But, in my view, he isn’t even using his Vampire Moves much? Like yeah he is in Louis’ mind and showing some tricks but... more in a showing off way than in a manipulative way? Like whatever Louis is trying to tell us here, he is just really attracted to that French guy. He may also be repulsed by him in some ways (or maybe more by his visceral reaction(s) to him, hm, Louis?) but damn he wants to fuck that guy so bad it makes him look stupid.

And yeah you might raise the argument that Lestat does use his Vampire Moves when he’s in Louis’ head, pestering him about how he is not gonna be ignored right after Paul died. But he first walked up to him when the family were on their way to the cemetery and.. was pestering him in quite mundane ways there, you know? Like him being in his mind was driving it to a head a bit more quickly and dramatically maybe but... knowing Lestat he would probably also have been able to be an absolute pest, just showing up again and again, not taking no for an answer (and he basically does so in ep 6, doesn’t he?). So yeah Louis is talking about vampire bonds and mind gifts but... he attracted to him. Big time. I ain’t buying your angle here, Louis.

(Only that of course I kinda do, bc Lestat is a narcissistic manipulative shit in certain ways as well. And doesn’t take no for an answer. Neither in ep 1 nor in ep 6. But then ep 7... weeelll... layers and all 😅😂 But I hope you still get my point.)

#interview with the vampire #musings #me watching stuff #whoa shit this got loooong #oopsies #lestat de lioncourt #louis du pointe du lac #jonah #louis #lestat #long post

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theriu · 6 months

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#tumblrnotecounter #whoa #dang!#I have. Been on here a long time XD;#And I figured two posts would make up the majority #which they do equal almost half #I am happy I got a few posts that have taken off over the uears ^^#I had to add titles for each of the links myself #so keep that in mind if you do yours!#most of them just said ‘external image’

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worldsunlikemyown · 5 months

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finspera hcs

Finspera headcanons (ah yes my beloveds!!):

They're fairly close in age, and were friends as children

Neither is each other's first romantic partner (Fintan's was Bronte, Vespera's was (for a long time, far longer than Fintante were romantically together) Luzia), but they were together the longest with each other

They share clothes ALL the time

Fintan loves gifting her things, especially jewellery

Despite them having planned that they would most likely get married at some point (mostly just as a social construct sort of thing), neither of them proposed to the other — they just came to mutual agreement

Same as above with the confession of love. They basically told each other at the same time

They always do each other's hair

They used to be a bright, lively couple before Vespera's imprisonment; after the break-out from Lumenaria, they became far more withdrawn, and private

Fintan was generally the spokesperson on the Council, but while Vespera's sentence was delivered, he had been crying too hard to speak, so it was a different Councillor that delivered it

Fintan had genuinely started becoming worried for Vespera after her numbness became apparent, and her love for Fintan was one of the only thing that kept Vespera in touch with her feelings (this was the same after Lumenaria too)

When Vespera was caught they had a very explosive argument and had all but broken up

Fintan wrote romantic poetry for Vespera (it was actually pretty good), in which he called her things like 'lady of light' and 'she who makes sunbeams dance'

The rules about Councillors and relationships were far more lax at the time, so if you weren't married to your romantic partner you could be together — it was the incident with Vespera that led to the rules becoming more strict

Fintan does the gardening, and though they're both good at it, Vespera does a lot of the cooking

Fintan usually initiates more physical affection, while Vespera is the first to suggest going out somewhere

They love singing together

Pre-Lumenaria, Fintan is the one to have restless nights; post-Lumenaria, Vespera is the one who has more nightmares and such

They get pretty vicious while fighting, and neither is very good at apologising — they apologise the same way they do most things, which is by mutual agreement

They had planned out the house they wanted to build when Fintan stepped down and they could live together — the plans are still on a dusty shelf in Vespera's studio

After they got together, the first thing Fintan gave Vespera as a gift was a flower to wear in her hair, and the first thing she gifted him was a tapestry of two elves that looked like them lying close together beneath the stars (she was a less frequent but more large-scale giver of gifts)

Fintan still has that tapestry

At the time of her imprisonment, Fintan's last words to her were 'How did this happen to us?' and hers were 'There is no use contemplating that. Neither of us can undo our deeds, and now we must pay the price'

Post-Lumenaria, the last time they spoke with each other was during Nightfall. Vespera's last words to him were 'Well. Good luck to us for the show,' and Fintan's were 'Just like the old days.'

#whoa this got long!#fintan pyren #kotlc fintan #kotlc vespera #vespera folend #fintan x vespera #kotlc #thanks for dropping by for a chat

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applexi · 9 months

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the pokepasta perdition track with red came out....... finally........ except they changed the vocals and it doesnt sound like the one i like 😔

#its more. erm. like its too gentle and soft for me #i liked the other one because his voice was super gruff and. you can tell his voice is mixed in with the glitches #but at least i got to hear the entire song!!!#i just hope they can release the other one idk i liked the other one better... wah #whoa jil talks abt glitchy red after how long.... i miss him #though not the community im scared of the pokepasta creators man

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bootlegfrank · 2 months

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What are your favourite my little ponies?

Oooo hmmm I have a cardboard box full of G3 ponies that I'm working through cleaning and brushing and I love G3 toys so much, I think that's my fav gen for toys.

As for specific ponies, there's just something about G3 Scootaloo man <3 I love her. G3 Fluttershy is adorable too, she's just soooo. Toola Roola is a pony I feel some kind of unexplainable connection to, I think I saw her as a child with her paintbrush cutiemark and felt connected ever since then.

I haven't watched a lot of the older MLP but I did have a DVD of My Little Pony 'n Friends that had the first (but not the second) episode of Fugitive Flowers and I watched it over and over and over. You know when you're a tiny kid and you develop a kink but you don't really understand that kinda stuff yet and why it makes you feel like that? Yeah that's what that episode was for me lmao.

As for FiM, I've always loved Twilight Sparkle, she's a bookworm like me and bad at making friends and I just relate to her. Fluttershy is one of those ponies that just makes my brain go haywire tbh shdhdjdh. And obviously I love Derpy, who doesn't love her! I don't really like Pinkie Pie in the show, but that's not her fault, she just makes me overstimulated but I still love her lots.

#whoa this got long i didnt realise i had this many pony opinions #mlp g3 #mlp g1 #mlp g4 #mlp #pony posting #asks

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mobiused · 2 years

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Kind of a 101 question but why do some of the girls have stage names but others have their real first names

Lore reasons;

1/3 all have their real names to represent their normality, that they 're just normal Korean school girls from Earth with not much going on - with the exception of Vivi. Because she's Vivi. (But Vivi has basically adopted Vivi as her real name irl too, it's not just a stage name, but its not her birth name either...)

The others have genuine meaning, discussed below

OEC all have hybrid English/Korean names that all could technically pass as real Korean names: - Kim Lip comes from/is short for 설립 which means establishment/foundation/start of building something, fitting because she's the first member, so her name arguably could be 김설립 which would sound stupid as hell but is technically legitimate. - Jinsoul's in Korean passes fully as Korean; 진솔 (Jinsol) is just a normal name, but the "Soul" part of her name represents something about her character - Choerry is obviously a fucked up version of Cherry but also '최' of 최리 (Choi) is a legitimate name and allegedly if you say Choi Yerim quickly it kinda sounds like Choerry. Which... I guess... But the point is that the OEC girls all exist in a liminal space between Earth and elsewhere (and links to their Americanisation which I talked about here)

yyxy is just a big mess honestly. This is in part because yyxy was super rushed but none of their names play by the rules because neither do yyxy: - Yves is a French masculine name from 'yew tree', and also sounds identical to the biblical Eve. This represents both her gender non conforming character (or shapeshifting gender? genderqueerness in general? yyxy don't have human genders anyway) and how she "represents" the biblical Eve. - Chuu is... well 츄 isn't a real word, but it sounds like a kiss, sounds similar to the Korean word for 'cold' - 추운, and again similarly to Choerry, Jiwoo (지우) allegedly sounds like 츄 when said fast. It's noteworthy to remember that Chuu was almost named Adam. (some people say that Gowon and Hyeju were also gonna be named this but I think that's just staff trolling personally) - Go Won shares a name with Nigerian dictator, and also means rain-maker (SITR moment! And later on also pertinent to hurricanes?), but Gowon also means 'plateau' or 'highlands' in Korean which you may have seen if you've ever put text with her name through a translator. The girls have clarified that actually her name is a first name and a surname and is actually 'Go Won' and not 'Gowon'; in this context, Go can mean very many things (which I wouldn't be able to pick from without Hanja), and 원 is immediately evocative of Korean Won, which kind of links to her minor theme of avarice shown in One & Only, and also means circle, which links to things like Odd Eye CIRCLE, and also the circular shape of hurricanes, as well as other things. - Olivia Hye I have talked about extensively here, though on the walk home I just remembered that it also may be partially in reference to Olivia Hussey which she's mentioned before, who played Juliet in Romeo & Juliet.

OH - forgot to mention that this is normal amongst a lot of groups; people with popular Korean names (like Sooyoung for example) often adopt a stage name just to be more unique, and people with Korean names that haven’t been “taken” by other idols usually get to keep theirs (like Heejin). This is part of why Hyeju was so mad about being given a stage name, because it’s not like there’s any famous Hyejus in the industry...

#loona lore #whoa this got kinda long i was expecting it to be a para max #whooops

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the-nysh · 2 years

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(eisenartworks) hello, resident Garou expert. I in desperate need of ur help. I saw u offer ur take on Garou's sequence, and I did get a few good ones on reddit, but I'm afraid I can't pick. What are your thoughts? :0

Thank you so much 😊

*gasp* 👀👀!!!! YES, @eisenartworks I am here to help! (or provide the content to brainstorm more ideas) 8'D

Ok, so if you wanted to match his character’s progression with the same 5-step sequence as the others, it'll depend on how much ‘completeness’ of his story you want to show (aka from his childhood all the way to the end of his arc - with his eyes opening under the waterfall), or focusing only on certain parts of his story to emphasize, like on the tragedy or a hopeful message for ex. So choosing which moments to include or eliminate depends on that - on what overall theme you want to show.

Because there’s already a symbolic progression of his eyes shown ‘monsterizing’ over time in canon (teetering on a fine line of balance & duality between his human/hero and ‘monster’ sides), so including when one half turns red, to the ‘human’ side waking when he’s on the surface after saving Bang, to the ‘monster’ side opening as human again under the waterfall at the end - that could be a consistent theme to focus on for ex.

Also because he goes thru countless external transformations, so if you want to fit everything into 5 images (unless you compromise room up to 6) we’d have to creatively combine or condense down different parts of his story together, to focus on his most important internal (emotional) turning points of growth/change instead. That means we can confidently exclude all the moments where he’s deliberately unconscious or passively not in full control/awareness of his own actions, because they do not reflect his innermost feelings (or actively progress his heart’s true values/goals). So the part where he’s sleep-fighting vs Darkshine, the part where he’s ‘feral’ unconscious arriving at the surface (vs Bang), and faceless Cosmic Garou (under the influence of ‘god’) can all be eliminated as ‘not actually him’ - we can’t even see his real eyes there anyway. BUT the ‘cosmic’ Garou who’s come to his senses after Tareo’s death - now THAT moment is far more important to his journey’s self-realization. :’D

And I’ve previously compiled a bunch of photosets documenting his expressions that can be used as references, but also confession: I have a wip file of his eyes I haven’t finished. Because I’ve observed how he’s the character with the most panels focused on dramatic close-up crops of his eyes (yes especially even in the webcomic!) and I just wanted to collect them all, but they happen to align with the type of story progression you’re after, so among those panels I can help narrow down which (manga) moments are most important! 8′D

Childhood - if you wanted to begin his story with his childhood (to consistently match Genos & Saitama’s who started with theirs), then it’s the panel where he’s crying angry, bitter tears in frustration at his teacher dismissing and talking down to him after he’s suffered from injustice. The moment he learned this is what he hates about how the world works. Where he’s either surrounded by the mob of ‘Tacchans’ representative of his worst (repressed) childhood trauma/humiliation, or lit by the anime’s dramatic spotlight while he sits powerless and frustrated (at being ‘alone’ and weak, with no one to support or understand him) on the chair.

Lone Wolf Hero Hunting - so he begins his hero hunt on the night of a full moon, (if you want to document his shifting phases of the moon, cause his arc ends with a gibbous one) complete with the aesthetic of a grinning/hungry wolf (nocturnal hunter). At this part of the story, his dark eyeliner is most prominent (cause it will fade later on). The panels that best represent this stage of his story (imo) are these, especially his ‘my eyes have adjusted (to the dark)’ panel.

Red Garou, Monster Hunter - (condensing more moments now) but here’s where he has the red eye, red hair, and fresh scar. All at once. The turning point (aka a reality/naivety check) where the monsters literally backstab him to kidnap Tareo, and he declares war (alone) on the Monster Association. (Gaining the tattered ‘scarf’ thru facing Rover and getting charred by Orochi’s flames.) Significant because this is the first time he switches targets (from fighting heroes) to unleash true lethal intent vs monsters. The angriest, bloodiest, most intense, and disgusted at real monsters we ever see him (in seething feral fury in response to save/protect Tareo.)

Transformed Monster ‘Hero’ Garou - (so eliminating Spiral Garou pains me, because it was so short-lived) but this part is when his body monsterizes with the external shell of a ‘costume’ - but ONLY after he awakens to himself from saving Bang, with the realization + focus to ‘follow his heart.’ The symbolic, cracked open ‘window’ to his human eye here is so important! ;o; Cause this was the point he took action at his peak (antihero) ‘moral best’ - appearing like a monster, but saving everyone (including other heroes & Tareo) on the surface and destroying the baddest monster cadres with his own power. The moments where he took action because of, or in response to Bang (’awakened’ with the crack over his eye crumbling off his face, or the ‘blessing’ moment with the waves crashing from defeating the Centipede - in contrast to Red Garou’s fire/rage) are probably the strongest representations of his feelings here.

‘Cosmic’ Garou’s emotional epiphany & resolve - so if the above was him at his peak, this becomes his lowest (emotionally). After ‘god’ interferes to fuck everything up, forcing Garou to learn what True Absolute Evil actually entails (not what Garou ever actually wanted) and experience the traumatic devastation & despair and self-loathing of having unknowingly killed Tareo himself. D: So horrific. (Note: actual Garou fans do not celebrate the faceless corrupted Cosmic ‘God’ entity, because it does not represent his true feelings, his own awareness/agency, or the person Garou actually is at all; he was cruelly used to destroy the humanity he’d previously staked his life to protect.) So it’s only after he finally comes to his senses, with his full face -both eyes- notably showing again, that matters most here. The strongest (most cathartic) moments being when he shares that beat of empathy with Saitama over their mutual loss of their most important person (still with residual ‘stardust’ tears grieving for Tareo - esp if you want to compare/contrast with Garou’s angry tears as a child), and then resolves to fix everything he never intended (choosing to sacrifice himself as a hero to help save the world.) Especially with the aesthetic of him still wearing his cosmic space ‘shell,’ the irradiated night sky with a watchful gibbous moon, or even parts of him turning to salt already.

Bonus: Waterfall Garou - cause whether you include or eliminate this moment (or exclude the first childhood one to include this one for a total 5, instead of 6) I like it because his story ideally shouldn’t end with his ‘death’ it finally shows him being ‘cleansed,’ with that one eye - that had symbolically been half ‘monsterized’ red before, opening up (as human) to new future possibilities.

So if you begin with crying kid Garou and end with him grieving over Tareo, that’s one approach (showing two different kinds of tears, keeping a bookend theme coming back full-circle in a way, and consistent with Genos & Saitama’s by including Garou’s childhood too.) But if you start with his hero hunting and end with the waterfall panel, it shows a more ‘complete’ progression of his active (present-day) journey instead, leaving off on a more hopeful, open-ended note (rather than ending at the implied, doomed tragedy of both his & Tareo’s death.) And because his arc is ‘complete’ anyway, it feels only fair to show most of the whole thing, imo. :’3

#opm #garou #anonymous #replies #eisenartworks #long text post #whoa that got long but hopefully i helped describe his most important moments and turning points to consider #if i were doing it i'd include the waterfall panel #but if not bound by 5 images i'd include all 6 to show his more complete story ;o;

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