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alangdorf

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alangdorf · 9 days

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Untagged ramble post about the the fic writing I’ve been doing + snippets (kind of a lot of them actually whoops) since idk if I’ll ever actually finish them let’s gooo (spoilers for said fics obvi)

Forgetting about Tsubakura’s hat when writing is my new forgetting about Vanitas’ Unversed when writing. Though in my defense I refuse to believe that their current normal outfit is what they used to wear to work because that is so many lab dress code violations including OPEN-TOED SHOES??!??!

Relatedly I had a funny moment of realization where I was like “wait I’m writing about throwing up black goop AGAIN??? What a coincidence”

Thus far I have caused one of my friends (not a len’en fan, only knows about it through my talking about it) to have TWO separate dreams about Len’en characters. I have since also had a dream about them but this friend had two before it even happened to me once (also I may have incorporated one or two aspects of said dreams into my stuff…)

I still write in my notes app with asterisks (discord markdown) for italics. I will never change and that is a promise

Btw in order the fics are: “Tsubakura makes terrible life decisions for two months straight and then Suzumi responds to them breaking up with her by faking her own death: the fic”

Followed by “The fact that there isn’t a unique ending for BPoHC Secret Team neutral route with Tsubakura as stage 6 boss has been plaguing me and I’m ‘boutta make it everyone else’s problem” (the actual current working title) (aka thinly veiled excuse for characters having sex that’s actually a thinly veiled excuse for Suzumi to explain why they did all that nonsense in the previous fic)

Then “Hamal Cine Bad End but I had to make a whole entire oc before deciding there would be anything there worth writing because if it was just Hamal and Tsubakura interacting it would be completely unreadable (featuring second person pov yet again!! So maybe it’s unreadable anyways idk)”

And finally “I couldn’t figure out how to finish that last fic satisfyingly so instead I started writing Tsubakura pov of before and after it but that means like half of it is just Hamal and Tsubakura which is what I was trying to avoid earlier whoops! The other half is logistics (actually that’s a lie the vast majority of it is logistics. What can I say I like logistics in my angst)”

Assuming Suzumi’s eye color just looks like brown to other people cause otherwise that would make the alters extremely obvious (I think zara also did this the other day ehe)

Arde should’ve been at the cluuuuub (Seriously though Arde has quickly skyrocketed into being one of my fave Len’en characters and also probably the person I feel the most bad for in at least my version of pre-canon. Like they all made bad decisions there but Arde had soooo much nonsense to deal with and extremely few viable alternatives)

I just now remembered the Japanese school year is different and I should look up what colleges typically do there

Unfortunately I cannot figure out how to google “what is the Japanese government’s procedure for reintegrating a formerly missing person into society when their kidnapping was a 37-year-old cold case (completely unrelated to the kidnapping they just escaped from) and also they’re largely made up of nanomachines or whatever now and have very advanced peripheral neuropathy and no living friends or relatives aside from this one rando who’s known them for about an hour (in the year 2050)”

Trying to make sense of Suzumi’s powers AAAAAAAAAA are the clones DIEGETIC??? Is Hooaka’s arm just gone FOREVER?? At the very least the disguise ability being Benny’s main ability would make some sense for how I’m writing them if. It’s even possible for them to turn it on and then have Arde front afterwards agh idk

Period-accurate communications tech also continues to be a completely self-inflicted thorn in my side. I’m assuming you could delete sent messages on whatever mobile messaging service Japanese young adults were using circa 2010 because I saw a post from 2017 saying you could do that on wechat and I can’t be bothered to do deeper research when it would significantly change my plot to find out otherwise

So you know how that one drawing of mine with Tsubakura and Tsurubami keeps just getting tagged as those two when it’s actually secretly suzutsuba (even moreso now that I’ve been developing Arde more lol)? That’s how I felt realizing that all my suzutsuba stuff is actually pointing to endgame yabutsuba (romantic or qpp idk idc) (also sorry ybtb fans I’m with you but I’m probably just gonna keep writing suzutsuba instead because my brain focuses on angst 100% of the time)

Semi-relatedly the aforementioned oc is named Koemi Oumura and happens to look a fair amount like Yabusame, which is presumably just a coincidence because Yabusame is the one character confirmed to not have any homeologues (extremely funny and scary fun fact), though I did come up with her name by like moving all the kanji in Yabu’s name a little to the left so lol who knows

While doing game dialogue research I ended up realizing that part of shrine team’s convo with Sanra is Tsubakura going “yeah clothes should be comfortable and unrestrictive!” and I was like “whoops… just gonna partially ignore that cause I’ve already been hcing the fact that you bind sometimes lol sorry”

Hamal gives herself biological immortality which is brought up only as a one-liner gag

Also I hope the way I write her dialogue isn’t like, too annoying. I cannot be bothered to copy paste unicode eighth notes wait a second I have a Japanese keyboard??! Oh well; still can’t be bothered so I’m just working with tildes and hearts. My friend tried to express which Len’en character showed up in its dream by saying “which suzumi is the ~ one. that one”

Ok time for assorted snippets (all mixed up just to keep ya guessing, though they also feel a little poetic in this arrangement. Mostly from the first fic since that’s the one I most want to post [and also the only one that’s T instead of M]) and then the sex stuff will be quarantined afterwards

Tsubakura pulls out their phone and sinks to the ground, breathing heavily (partially from the exertion). They look through their contacts. Yabusame is missing yet again. Haltingly, they punch in her number (they have it memorized, they triple-checked that they had it memorized just yesterday) and hit dial.

They start talking as soon as it picks up. “Yabu, I know I told you to let me handle things on my own for now, but I… I changed my mind; I need help, I-I don’t know what to do—”

The voice that interrupts them is not Yabusame’s, but they’d still recognize it anywhere. “Oh! Hello~! Expecting someone else, were we? Silly Tsuba~<3”

Tsubakura hangs up abruptly and just. Sits there. After a few minutes they check their phone to confirm, but it’s obvious that the number they have in their head is Suzumi’s. In fact, every number they have saved to their contacts is Suzumi’s. They don’t even bother with trying to remember their friends’ street addresses; they just hope she at least left them the route to the lab.

So. The message is abundantly clear. They’re alone in this. (And if the reason they’re late to work that day is because they curled up next to a dumpster and cried until they got scared she might come outside looking for them, well, that’s nobody’s business but their own.)

“The old Suzumi never quite worked up the courage to tell you all of this, but they really looked up to you, y’know? She was awestruck from the day you met. Renowned prodigy Tsubakura Enraku, this kid who was so smart, and educated, and accomplished, and cool, and attractive, and self-assured, and not even any older than she was? Who not only accepted her affections, but reciprocated them? Invited her to live with them? Ohh, she put you on a pedestal a mile high~! Gave them quite the inferiority complex, you did~ And then—“

“Don’t,” Tsubakura breathes, but she’s not done saying her piece yet.

“—The Accident happened. And what did you do? You blamed everything on her to save you own skin. While she was in the hospital, even! You betrayed her.”

“But that wasn’t—”

Hamee clamps a hand over their mouth and clucks her tongue disapprovingly. “It doesn’t matter what you thought you were doing. You’re smarter than that, Tsu~ba~ku~ra~. You know what it would’ve looked like. Felt like. And you certainly didn’t try to clear up any misconceptions with the higher-ups afterwards, did you~?”

Tsubakura looks mortified. It’s a good look on them.

Hamee chuckles and skims her hand down to the center of their chest. “And it broke Suzumi’s poor li’l heart~</3 Well, specifically Ardey’s, at that point. All her monumental faith in you just crumbled to dust. She’s wanted nothing more than good old-fashioned revenge on you ever since.”

…

Ardey’s silence in their head is palpable.

What? No pithy comments this time~?

Don’t talk to me right now.

If you say so~

Tsubakura’s heartbeat feels like a hummingbird caught beneath her fingertips, but they put on their best brave face. “And? What about you, Ha- whatever you said your name was. What exactly is your deal supposed to be?”

“Oh, me? Pretty little Hamee~? Well…” She gently cradles their head in her hands and leans in close, smiling serenely. Their already barely-stoic facade cracks just from that. “I never stopped seeing you as that beautiful, perfect genius that Suzumi idolized so! I still keep you up on that pedestal, Tsubakura-sama~<3 And all I want to do…” She whispers the last part in their ear like a catty schoolgirl telling a mean joke. “…is drag you down from it. Until you’re just as sad and broken as the rest of us~ Forever and ever <3”

And suddenly Hamal is there (still pretty hot, admittedly, but the effect is mitigated significantly by literally everything else about her), smiling without a care in the world, cupping Tsubakura’s face delicately in her hands like she isn’t currently out in a thunderstorm with a pistol tucked into her waistband, about to actually kill someone (specifically, YOU!!!) just to torment them. “Ohh, Tsubakura-sama… did you really think you could ever escape me~?”

When they tune back in to the present, Yabusame’s talking again. “—and a little while after you hung up, you sent me a photo of a handwritten note, and I didn’t really understand it, ‘cause the handwriting was weird and I think I didn’t know some of the kanji, but before I could ask you what that was all about, you deleted it, and none of my messages or calls have gone through since then!”

Tsubakura looks up from where they’ve been reflexively clutching at their head to see Yabusame standing over them all concerned, hands still out like she wants to touch them but can’t. (Right; she doesn’t know where they’re injured. They’re not 100% sure themself.) Mechanically, they reach down to grab their phone from their pocket and check it over. Nothing out of the ordinary except that there’s no trace of last night’s call, and Yabusame’s number is blocked and deleted from their contacts, which they quickly rectify. “Issue was on my end. Should go through now.”

“Okayyyyy…” Yabusame pouts, and then draws back a little and fidgets nervously. “Y’know, I checked for you here and at your favorite bar, and when you weren’t either of those places, I thought reeeeally hard about checking your apartment, but you said that if I ever popped into your apartment without an invitation again, you’d string me up by my ankles!” They briefly do an impression of Tsubakura lecturing them before getting even more subdued. “And, I figured, if you were at home, and Suzumi was there, ‘cause they’re always at home these days, that either Suzumi could fix the problem, or maybe Suzumi was the problem, and I was worried that me showing up maybe would’ve. Made it worse.” She tilts her head and looks at them imploringly, the platonic ideal of puppy-dog eyes. “Was that stupid of me?”

(There’s very little point in attempting anything else, even if they were able to; it all leads to the same outcome. She loves them when they struggle against her. She loves them when they love her back. She loves them when they give up entirely. She loves every single aspect of them. She loves the very concept of them. There’s nothing they could do that could possibly dissuade her. There’s no way to win anymore.)

Hoojiro’s brows knit together, but she doesn’t make any sort of remark about the strangeness of their behavior just yet, instead holding out their phone, which she must’ve retrieved from wherever it was they’d flung it last night. Or this morning, technically. Who cares. “Your phone. It sounds like Su-somebody’s calling?” She’s clearly trying to be delicate, but it’s on silent. She must’ve looked at the screen. She knows who it is.

Tsubakura deflates back into their chair, taking the phone only to drop it face-down on the table in front of them. (They don’t want to risk declining the call; that would just tell her that they’re awake and paying attention.) The jig is pretty much up anyway, so they bury their face in their arms and groan. They’re so tired. “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know…”

Hoojiro shuffles and hesitates before addressing the elephant in the room. “Doctor, I… you claimed it was just an accident that you fell asleep here the other night, and when I left yesterday you told me you’d make sure to go home, but you clearly didn’t, and now it looks to me like your girlfriend has been unsuccessfully trying to contact you, so I guess what I mean to say is… How long have you been here? Really.”

Tsubakura groans again in response.

“Doctor,” Hoojiro admonishes.

“Shitodo,” they reply in a similar tone.

She sighs. “Tsubakura…”

They peek out at her guiltily. “…..Four days. I think.”

With the short hair, loose-fitting hospital clothes, and useless blackened limbs, they’re hardly recognizable as Tsubakura Enraku, genius prodigy, groundbreaking scientist, honorary Senri priest. But that person was killed decades ago along with everyone else (and thousands more times afterward for good measure), and all they are now is a lingering ghost left trapped in their own decaying corpse. Or maybe, if you just focus on the wan face, the dark, sunken eyes, they look like the exact same clinically depressed and perpetually exhausted Tsubakura Enraku that they’ve always been, just currently lacking any work or leisure or alcohol in which to drown themself so they can forget about the absurd tragedy that is their life. Hard to say; they’re kinda mixing their metaphors here.

“The angry one is called Ardey. Most of our ~trysts~ in the past have actually been with her fronting, but she decided it would be more practical to just straight-up kill you after you stopped wanting to have anything to do with us. Soooo she’s trying to pretend like she isn’t watching right now, teehee <3”

HEY.

“She says hi~!”

I DO NOT. SHUT UP.

Ok, this is all very. Beside the point. The point being that Tsubakura woke up to their girlfriend smothering them with a pillow. They attempt to calm down and take a deep breath, neither of which is made easier by Suzumi’s weight on their stomach. “So… uhh… did you just try to kill me?”

Suzumi laughs airily, but with an ever-so-slightly nervous edge. “Ohh, ‘kill’ is such a strong word…” She trails a finger down the underside of their jaw. “Really, what’s a little bit of suffocation between friends~?” She continues down their throat and traces along their collarbones. “If it helps, it was just a… mood swing thing. Shouldn’t happen again. I like making you squirm a liiittle too much to actually want to get rid of you~” She hooks the finger on the collar of their shirt and tugs.

“You’re trying to distract me now, aren’t you.” It’s hardly a question.

“Is it working?” Suzumi deadpans.

They should probably be more concerned, and will definitely start sleeping on the couch after this, but for now, Tsubakura swallows and makes a decision that is… not one of their smarter ones, to be honest. Whatever. Blame the oxygen deprivation, if you must.

“Well. You could be trying harder.”

“I always took you for granted, because I’m a black hole of a human being that just takes and takes and takes until there’s nothing left. I don’t know if there’s even any of the real you left in there, Suzumi. So:”

Tsubakura sinks down to one knee and reaches up a hand, their dark eyes as unreadable as ever. Hamee feels their heart skip a beat at the sight, but for all the wrong reasons. She won’t lie and claim that she hasn’t fantasized about setting up a scenario like this someday, buying a white dress and a real tux and rubbing in her victory over them with the “‘til death do us part”s and all that, but not like this. Not on their terms; not with them real and in the flesh and kneeling right here in front of her, acting out something that could’ve happened years ago if they’d been either a whole lot better for each other or just a little more stupid, but asking for a knife to the jugular rather than an “I do”. Everything about this is wrong.

“I’m giving myself to you,” Tsubakura says. “Will you take me?”

The police haven’t even bothered to get back to them about pressing charges (a laughable attempt, they know, but they had to try something) by the time Tsubakura’s old apartment goes up in flames, and the obituary of Suzumi Kuzu gets printed in the papers, accompanied by the awkward university ID photo of somebody they maybe loved, once. Just making it official that that person is long gone, they suppose.

(But they don’t believe she’s dead for even a second.)

Sex stuff is down here

They just keep having sex. It just keeps happening. I’m aroace-spec and actively religious; how did I get here? Where am I?? Hello????

The number of sex scenes I am writing around is absolutely crazy given that like. I literally can’t even bring myself to use the word “butt”. Tsubakura is mostly naked about half the time. I am matrix dodging specifics out here (to be clear all intercourse is either before/after the parts that I’m actually writing or it’s vaguely skipped over. Even if I wasn’t holding myself to particular language standards I’m always in it more for the emotional part of it and don’t care for the explicit sex stuff so everything I write should be M at most)

I am extremely aware that Hamal Cine Bad End is a lot (and definitely an extreme canon divergence; like perfect storm of things going wrong, Arde and Benet would have to be out of the picture, Hamal would need to get like 10000% less impulsive) and I’m very nervous about sharing any of it at all!! Uhhhhh what else to say about it… I’m trying not to be too gratuitous? The one actual beat-by-beat scene I have any plans for atm is much more focused on the psychological/torture aspects once it flips into gear (not particularly gory either)? Hopefully I’m handling it well? Idk I just hope if I do end up posting it that my writing speaks for itself. Stands on its own. Or whatever like you know what I mean

Ok moving on so you remember that first fic I was writing a few months ago and then abandoned? That fic was funny cause the whole idea I was going off of was using marriage as a metaphor for getting murdered (second to last snippet is a surprise cameo from that heehee; I couldn’t figure out how to write into it in a way that would make sense though) and if I ever published that one I would definitely have needed to put out a disclaimer that’s like “Yes I am happily married, yes I am aroace, yes I am only interested in super toxic shipping; I contain multitudes” (also no ace discourse please; despite the fact I could pass for allo in some ways I still choose to identify as aroace because my aro/asexuality affects a lot of areas of my life even if it’s not that visible to others)

Unsure whether my friends are making fun of me for getting my sex ed from wikipedia but like, how else am I supposed to learn about bdsm and gay sex; ask my mom?? I don’t even ask her about straight sex!

Hopefully it’s very clear when I’m writing stuff that isn’t supposed to be healthy? I watched some video essays on fifty shades and other bad romance novels for fun recently and hoo boy!! That’s certainly something to avoid. I also finally finished reading through Lolita (read the first half in like middle school or smthn) and I felt like that was a good lesson in how to write obviously abusive relationships and also how to avoid writing sex scenes. (Also that was the first real book I’ve read in a whiiiile lol) (I also finished reading a certain manhwa I half-read years ago, mostly out of morbid curiosity cause the wiki was very vague on how it ended. Didn’t really glean anything immediately helpful from that and there was way more sex and nudity than I remembered; kinda regret it)

I know I mentioned a while ago that I was projecting somewhat onto Suzumi but just to be clear I’m definitely also projecting onto Tsubakura. Sorry for giving them all my sexual preferences (and one very specific fairly minor parental trauma); it will happen again (that’s me on the left; I haven’t changed my pfp to reflect my current sona) (don’t mind the koala)

#suggestive #but just at the bottom (ha)

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alangdorf · 2 months

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Welp, the ref lineup still isn’t done cause I haven’t drawn Shion yet, and the belated valentines I’ve been working on are gonna be like at least a month late cause I just planned three more, but what I did do these past couple weeks is start writing a fanfic and then immediately abandon it to go draw a bunch of only tangentially-related suzutsubas (except for that first pic; that’s a scene from it, albeit one I haven’t written yet), only half of which are fit for public posting (one of ‘em I could make a few edits and feel ok about posting sometime; it’s not that out there, it’s just, y’know. Hamal Cine Bad End Hyperbolic Torture Chamber. I’m usually very “whatever happens happens” about my art but if I don’t show some restraint I know I’ll end up stuck in there forever), but hey, since I’ve been teasing them for ages and finally have some finished stuff with them, take a couple Suzumii! Also gonna ramble abt headcanons under the cut (and it will be LONG)

To begin, a note abt my Len’en gender/pronoun headcanons: as a they/them preferrer myself, I’m thrilled that most people just stick with those for everyone, but I’ve developed some more detailed headcanons as I go through working on designs and I’ll generally be using those. Don’t worry though, most of them are still nonbinary and basically all of them are trans/gq. Relevant ones for this post are Tsubakura: they/them nonbinary (transmasc to some degree) and Suzumi: cis female, question mark?? (to be elaborated on); for clarity’s sake I usually use she/her for Arde and Hamal Cine individually and plural they for the system collectively (also I don’t usually use their nicknames, dunno why), but singular they for Benet (the wiki says Benny is probably short for Benetnasch so I’m assuming that’s their actual name) for reasons which will also be elaborated on (sort of).

Aaalso this clearly isn’t autobiographical or anything but I think I’m subconsciously putting a lot of myself into Suzumi because 1) we do look pretty similar (brown wavy bob + blue eyes) and 2) given their current status as both the main antagonist and the most well-known plural Len’en character (I get the impression that Hooaka also being plural isn’t super common knowledge; I mean it took me several read-throughs of their wiki page and their dialogue with BPoHC Secret Team to get what they were getting at lol) I am probably way too anxious about doing a bad stereotype. Just an observation and also probably partially why I’ve even ended up with so much headcanon for them in the first place

And before I get into the thick of it, notes on derivations from canon: I’m running with the assumption that Suzumi being a system is a relatively recent development tied to whatever incident it was that caused the falling-out, since Tsubakura is like the only person who seems at all familiar with Hamal (including Mitori/Chouki/Fumikado, but they’re more easily explained away as just having met with one of the other alters the few times they’ve interacted) even though she’s supposedly usually the one fronting. They don’t seem to know the mechanics of it though, judging by their confusion when Arde implied that she and Hamal are different people. So basically, I’ll be referring to pre-incident Suzumi as a different character from any of the other three. (Ngl I am very influenced by Dissociation Constant on that and just in general [when will my wife The One and Only Suzutsuba Fic return from the war…..]) I was also debating whether to have Suzumi have any history with the gang before starting to work at the lab/whether stuff would happen around high school or college age, cause they keep referring to everything happening “a long time ago” and I know I, a 24-year-old, feel like stuff that happened five years ago was like yesterday, but I do have the pandemic and not really doing much of anything for most of that time to reckon with so like, eh. College age makes more sense in my head and so does the dynamic of like, Suzumi was only introduced into the friend group (she was acquainted w Hoojiro and Yabu already though bc lab) because she was dating Tsubakura and since that ended, and badly (understatement of the century), they have extremely little reason to be civil with each other and also interacting at all is really awkward.

Ok now on with it! Either end of high school or beginning of college, Suzumi ends up interning at Tsubakura’s lab for college credit (Tsuba’s already practically a department head despite being like 17 or something because. Idk. Who even knows what’s up with them) and she’s like. Only wears t-shirts and jeans (bought a bunch of khakis for this job though), [reading] glasses from the men’s section, hates leaving her hair down (it’s lab safety anyways). Repressed queer in denial, you know the type. Starts interacting a lot with Mx. Tsubakura “wears short shorts that everybody thinks are actually a skirt and also uses ore and omae almost exclusively” Enraku who seems to have everything all figured out and is immediately starstruck (GIRL WHY?? they are such a mess). Lots of “do I want to date them or do I want to be them” confusion (this will be relevant later); eventually evolves into the “am I trans or just a lesbian” question (not that they would need to be attracted to women to be into Tsubakura but you get the picture), which never quite gets answered.

In any case, they do eventually start dating (Tsubakura thinks she’s cute and smart so they reciprocate), and they’re not like super great together cause Tsubakura is emotionally constipated at the best of times (Suzumi’s into that though) and neither of them are the most mentally/emotionally healthy people even back then and also Tsubakura is more or less Suzumi’s boss which is weird, but they’re kind of ok??? Tsubakura’s mom dies at some point, also they move in together (college housing is expensive), the rest of the crew at the very least tolerate Suzumi, etcetera.

And then…! [insert catastrophic event here]!! I don’t have a shot to call on this yet cause I have no idea what it could’ve been (and I’m sure it’ll get revealed at some point anyways); I’m just banking on it being something extremely not mundane and something where you could reasonably set the blame on either (or neither) party cause they sure both seem convinced the other is way worse, huh! In Tsubakura’s case at least, blaming Suzumi is partially a defense mechanism so their self-loathing doesn’t get the better of them over it (guess what the fic was supposed to be about, lol).

The worst part of all this business though is that they DON’T break up over it immediately and it just makes everything orders of magnitude worse for everyone involved. Tsubakura and Arde have hate sex MORE THAN ONCE………… they would both really rather forget about it. Hamal thinks it’s hilarious, ofc, but the less said about her, the better. And Benet… exists??? The only idea that I’m running off of for them atm is the observation that I think they’re the only character with flat black eyes other than Tsubakura/Tsurubami and the subsequent idle thought, “hey if someone malded so hard about a breakup that they ended up with an introject of their ex would that be messed up or what?” So make of that what you will. (Oh and it may have been obvious that this is what I was going for but Hamal is femme and Arde is butch and they’re constantly squabbling abt aesthetic presentation. Having Arde be straight-up male would’ve been too straightforward of an interpretation and I think it’s funnier this way)

The canonically mentioned murder attempts start taking place and I’m leaning towards Tsubakura eventually being convinced to move out even though it was originally their apartment, albeit mostly just because the wikipedia page for house sparrows mentions that they’re known to take over swallows’ nests, usually after they’ve been abandoned, but they will sometimes drive away or kill the current occupants, and that was a very fun fact to come across when specifically doing research for Len’en but idk how else to incorporate it lol. And so on and so forth up until the present time.

Uhhh is that all I have atm? I think so! Anyway, I think I finally shook out all my suzutsuba doodles (and rambling, though I do still have that fic to work on. idk whether I’ll be able to finish it though; I started strong with an extended metaphor in the middle but Iiiii’m not sure if I can successfully write my way up to it while making it make sense. Also I may draw pretty slow but I write even slower!! Eh I’m sure I’ll post some of it sometime) for the time being so I should theoretically be able to finish up my bigger projects now. Maybe I’ll have the valentines ready in time for white day? We’ll see!

#art #len’en #tsubakura enraku #suzumi kuzu #suzutsuba #btw sorry if that’s like not the right ship name lol I saw like one person use it but there’s not much in the tag but that might just be #bcuz ppl don’t seem to make much for it anyways #digital #I should probably ask for len’en discord recommendations sometime soon just given the Circumstances #namely if tumblr actually goes down the drain but also so my little sister doesn’t have to keep watching me have a mental breakdown live #(hi Val!!)#briefly looked into the wiki’s server but that has A THOUSAND MEMBERS?? scary…..#ough FINALLY this post took me like a full day to write #also of note: these are essentially silly little doodles and I got kind of lazy with them #and I still don’t know how to draw Tsubakura’s hat or hair…..#idk why I’ve been having so much trouble differentiating how I draw Suzumi and Tsubakura’s hair but I have and it’s weird

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alangdorf · 2 months

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Ok I swearrrr I’m almost done with that big project and I’m not spending all my time extensively editing memes to make them into Tsubakura vagueing Suzumi on twitter… I wasn’t gonna actually make this one (especially since I haven’t posted my Suzumi design yet) but then I thought of the Hoojiro pull and it was too good lol

#meme #len’en #tsubakura enraku #hoojiro shitodo #been working on this thing since Sunday and I’m almost done but it is gonna be belated by like over a week lol #oh ya for context the other twitter account is the (real) account of a character named Hoojiro who is a girl named after the color white

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alangdorf · 3 months

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Second up, Mitori again yayyyy! Another outfit redesign like with that Junko doodle (I almost want to call these like recontextualizations? Cause I’m just trying to make approximately the same thing out of a different clothing style); a bit of a challenge trying to balance the boots with the rest of the outfit color-wise but I think I did ok. Also I’m sorry I took the hat away because I’m a coward… this will continue to be a theme (to a lesser extent though; I just made the next hat a little smaller)

#art #digital #touhou #Mitori Kawashiro #I accidentally named the sai file Nitori and didn’t notice for like a day whoops!!#btw the ring isn’t a wedding ring it’s just like symbolizing that her heart is closed off cause it’s black and that’s supposedly the finger #connected to the heart #I wear my wedding ring on one hand and ace ring on the other rather frequently which I think is funny #Pretty happy with the way I did the boots because the original has WRAP BOOTS???? with laces?? what #augh forgot alt text I was leaving the house

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alangdorf · 3 months

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Oookay, first up, a silly little experiment trying to draw in ZUN’s style (I think for the first time ever? I never did back in the olden deviantart days almost a decade ago now, wow) kicked off by me noticing that there aren’t any Touhou characters based off of kamaitachi (type of youkai, lit. “sickle weasel”, has sickles for claws and flies around in strong winds causing cuts in your skin which are actually just it cracking open from it being dry and cold), but the pokémon Sneasel is! So, Touhou Sneasel gijinka. I’m not 100% happy with the design, I think I could’ve been more creative with the head area for example, but I figure I’ll just fix it up if I ever draw her in my normal style. Didn’t put too much thought into my character; I’m sewing and I’m using Ephy as a pincushion (I did used to do this; his middle section is full of beans) and my title is just a pun on my name.

Speaking of names though, hoo boy I spent like two days crawling through Jisho for these (eternal disclaimer: I’m not a native or even particularly fluent speaker and don’t have a perfect grasp on what does/doesn’t sound natural in certain contexts; my name is deliberately silly though). Hitsuki’s last name was pretty easy, I just put together the kanji for “wind” (風) and “weasel” (鼬), using pronunciations that together sound like the word for winter, variable amount of extra u’s notwithstanding. For her first name I ended up using the first syllable of the kun’yomi for several kanji, which I think is a thing people do for girls’ names irl? So the first kanji is “conceal” (潜), part of the word “sneak in” that bulbapedia says is part of the etymology for Sneasel’s Japanese name, Nyula/Nyuura, and then it’s “claws” (爪) and “fangs” (牙), and then after I decided this I found out that Sneasel’s old pokédex entries talk about them hiding their claws lol. Also less of an influence, but Hitsuki sound like the word for “starting fires”, which is used metaphorically in at least one compound word to mean troublemaking, which seems appropriate. I couldn’t resist alliterating the title, though I super didn’t want to bother writing out titles in Japanese or figuring out abilities so I didn’t.

As for me, I found some fairly uncommon kanji I could stick together to sound like “Rendoufu”, which is close enough, and they mean “tangle/fasten with thread” (縺), “stab/prick” (撞), and “fabric” (布). And then Kit (the word kitto means “for sure” but also just the English word kit). So I named myself Sewing Kit in the funniest possible way I could find (which is why my names aren’t in Western name order; idk where the initial should technically go but eh), and then threw “picture/drawing” (絵) on the end for good measure. Ok that’s everything I think

#art #digital #touhou #pokemon #sneasel #me #not tagging Elfilin lol not gonna jumpscare y’all with voodoo doll Ephy #I don’t use him as a pincushion anymore I just did for a little bit when I wanted to be in my bed while sewing and needed a place to put my #needle but didn’t wanna bring over my whole pincushion and risk losing the other pins in my bed #not 100% confident on having replicated the style well but it was fun to do

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alangdorf · 3 months

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Waugh I have several posts’ worth of backlog… a good chunk of it is Magolor and Elfilis post-canon designs, which I still have a couple more doodles to do before those are ready, but I should get the rest of them out of the way. Momentarily

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alangdorf · 4 months

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Yayyyyy Mitori my beloved!! Also Takane’s theme has been the sleeper hit of Unconnected Marketeers for me. And also Nitori’s there. Due to there being Three of Them and just personal motivation weirdness this took like a whole week and I didn’t have the energy to do much personal interpretation of their outfits & hair like ppl often do when drawing Touhou characters; followed the reference too closely on that as usual. But fun fact about turtles! I had trouble finding much documentation on this, but [some?] turtles have a dark line across their eyes that helps them see better horizontally and their eyes turn so that the line is always parallel to the horizon

#art #digital #touhou #takane yamashiro #mitori kawashiro #nitori kawashiro #I also learned new facts about kappa but you’ll have to look those up yourself #not discussing shirikodama here lol #kinda funny drawing all three of them together cause of the key thing #also Takane wasn’t supposed to look that much like Magolor but I think it’s mostly the mouth shape which I gave to all of em bcuz beak #ALSO I decided to give them webbed fingers and then immediately afterwards realized that Takane’s sprite has her holding cards aaaaall the #way down between her fingers which like #obviously I don’t care too much abt being bound by their canon designs but just #the specificity and immediacy of the contradiction was SO funny #I might draw Mitori again and try to tweak her outfit a bit more; we’ll see #she is so cool to me #Sorry I don’t have more to say about Nitori!! she’s neat and all but you can probably tell I’m very influenced by their music

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alangdorf · 4 months

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Immediate swing around to a character that’s far less obscure and also technically existed when I was last active in the fandom, though I never drew her back then (I doodled everyone in the LoLK cast at least once except for her and Clownpiece). Anyway, I’ve been fascinated with the fact that she purified herself into being nothing more than her grudge so much that almost her entire identity was wiped away, so I wanted to draw her covering her face with a fan with a kitsune on it (used a couple ukiyo-e as reference for drawing that), looked up Chinese fans to make sure I was thinking of the right thing (this kind is called tuanshan), and found out they were historically used in a wedding tradition (queshan) where the bride covers her face with a fan and then reveals it at the end, so I was like. Well, that’s appropriate given that Junko is the Touhou character most likely to have been married at some point, so it all worked out nicely. But then I figured I should probably draw her face anyway, if only to practice giving Touhou characters faces that fit my style and aren’t all the same, and went a bit silly with it lol(k)

#art #digital #Touhou #Junko #legacy of lunatic kingdom #I did research on Wikipedia for this one!#also I actually used the color black for once #the first pic was supposed to be more graphic in style but as usual I chickened out on doing too much of it without lines or shading #second one I thought it would be funny to dip into American middle class white mom fashion (one of the styles which I am adjacent to)#aaand to be honest I was channeling just a little bit of coin boss blaseball energy #there are no other milfs to take it out on #anyway I’ve got a couple fan characters to tackle and if I don’t get more requests by the time I’m done with those I might just start doing #fun outfits for like whoever (Hecatia’s on that list for sure)#k0nfette is like my biggest aspiration in life rn

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alangdorf · 4 months

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Btw I make absolutely no promises but requests/suggestions are tentatively open for the foreseeable future and we’ll see if I get around to any or if they just get me to work on stuff I actually want to work on in the name of procrastination lol. Anyway I’d particularly like to maybe draw some less popular/newer Touhou characters; I fell out of the fandom a little after 15 came out (been really obsessed with 15’s soundtrack in hindsight) so I’ve been struggling to catch up on the new stuff

#uhhh I guess I’ll tag as Touhou for boost; sorry if this is annoying at all #touhou

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