#TW: SH
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pain as a reminder | trust ritual
just some strange idea that wormed into my head - if Chihiro lets scars stay on his body and there are many from battle, difficult to say which ones could be hypothetically self inflicted.
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Hello dearest kitty, I'm here begging on my knees for some fluff
Okay okay I'll stop, but it was a funny start especially after your least post, but I really love your writing and I would love to see you write some sub villain X dom hero fluff, about self care and maybe a little bit on self harm cuz I have exams and this is my comfort trope.
But regardless if you write it or not I want you to know that I really appreciate all your work and I it makes such a huge difference in my life, you're one of the people I can look at and be happy 😁💖
tw mention of self-harm
“This is…nice.” The villain frowned and hugged their own legs, almost as if they had never been in a bathtub before. Still tired, they leaned against the tiles of the bathroom wall. All the hero could focus on were their lashes when they closed their eyes.
Admittedly, the hero hadn’t considered this to be the result. They hadn’t expected to end up in bed with their nemesis. It would have been easier if this was part of a mission, they reckoned. But fate was much crueler.
Now feelings were involved. Complicated, difficult feelings. Sometimes they didn’t know if they should blame themselves or the villain. After all, the villain was devoted and passionate. They were tactical and brilliant.
And they were also pretty. Ridiculously pretty.
The hero swallowed.
Why was this happening to them out of all people?
“I don’t think anyone has ever made that kind of effort for me,” the villain said. They smiled and the hero’s heart dropped.
“You mean letting in some water?”
“Well, yeah…and the breakfast. The soft kisses. The massages, you know?” The villain looked at the hero again. “No one has ever done that for me.”
For the hero’s taste, they were too far away from each other. Even though the bathtub wasn’t the biggest, the hero didn’t want to sit on opposite ends. They worried their bottom lip between their teeth.
“Can you come closer?” they asked and the villain nodded, obeying quickly.
The hero let out a shaky breath they didn’t even know they were holding once the villain sat down on their hips. At this point, it was like a drug. The hero craved this affection and these hands on their skin.
It wasn’t just pleasure, it was something more vile. Something that could bleed and die, something that could destroy the hero within seconds.
A few hours ago, they hadn’t realised it. Not really. But now that they knew they weren’t just attracted to the villain, they needed to control themselves.
“You know you deserve it, right?” they asked. The villain didn’t meet their eyes, though. “You deserve nice things.”
“Is this a separating-work-and-personal-life-thing? Because we both know I’ve done despicable things in the past.” The villain looked ashamed. They let their thumb run along the hero’s biceps, almost as if they could distract themselves that way.
“No. I like you the way you are. Even the parts you deem ugly.” The hero touched the scars the villain had tried to hide yesterday gently. They couldn’t stop looking at their nemesis. At their perfect face, their perfect body. The hero wasn’t sure why their melancholy was taking over the now.
Yesterday, they’d been laughing and kissing. They’d never had that much fun in quite a while. But now, responsibility weighed heavy on their shoulders again and they couldn’t bear the feeling of saying goodbye in a few hours.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Have I ever been dishonest with you?” the hero asked. Brilliance wasn’t a gift. It was the result of hard work and the hero could appreciate and respect that the villain had been working just as much as they had. Both were the same in that aspect, destroying themselves because that seemed to be logical: working until you had results. No failing, no mistakes. 100%. All the time.
The villain smiled softly. Maybe even sadly.
“When you told me you love me yesterday?” they asked quietly but the hero already shook their head.
“No, that wasn’t a lie.” Their finger traced one of the villain’s scars. Somehow, the bathwater was getting hotter and hotter. The hero closed their eyes as they tried to calm down. “You’re lovely.”
It was only natural, wasn’t it? To be attracted to someone who challenged, yet matched them in so many ways? God, the hero was really at the end of their rope.
“Hm. You know, under all these layers—” the villain touched their chest “—of calculated and raw reason—” they drew a heart with their finger into the hero’s skin “—there’s a very gentle soul inside you.”
“Is that criticism or a compliment?” the hero asked. Again, looking at the villain made their stomach turn. In a good way. Kind of.
Their nemesis smiled.
“Just an observation,” the villain said. They leaned forward and kissed the hero’s cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me. I kinda suck at it.”
The hero’s hand was still on the villain’s scars.
“You just need a little bit of help, that’s all. Everyone does.” The villain was still so close. If the hero moved their head a little, they’d be kissing.
Hell, why was their heart beating so fast?
“Do you think I could be better?” the villain asked. “Do you think I could change?”
“Change is inevitable,” the hero explained. “But I…I got you.”
They held onto the villain a little tighter this time and honestly, they knew why their heart ached when they brought them home.
#I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins spotlight on me and I’m ready to break#writing snippet#hero x villain snippet#hero x villain prompt#heroes and villains#hero#villain#heroxvillain#hero x villain#request#an answer for an ask#tw: sh#suggestive#fluff#obsessed hero
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This is the first I'm hearing of this today so I'm waiting for news outlets to confirm his death so I'm still looking for more information.
Regardless, Aaron Bushnell, thank you for your sacrifice. Self immolation is the most severe form of protest. I'm sorry it came to this.
First, the man in Congo, now this. Every single day, I feel ill.
Edit: several reports confirm Aaron has passed. I don't know if I'll stop crying before I go to bed. I may need day to take a break and sit with this. We haven't seen this much self immolation protests documented so forwardly since Vietnam.
#aaron bushnell#u.s. military#palestine news#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#israel#israel embassy#washington dc#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#gaza genocide#tw: death#tw: self destruction#tw: sh#self immolation#protest#congo#congo protests
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Started a little project for AftG and this is one of the drawings for it, and while it’s still a WIP I’m really happy with how it’s turning out! It’s always so heartbreaking to draw the boys as kids, but I swear it’s worth the heartbreak for this one! Maybe I’ll actually finish a piece this time…
Uncensored beneath the cut
Warning for all the AftG awfulness
Tw: self harm, implied sexual assault, implied child abuse
#tw: scars#tw: sh#tw: abuse#tw: blood#tw: sa#aftg fanart#all for the game fanart#andrew minyard fanart#andrew minyard#kevin day fanart#kevin day#neil josten fanart#neil josten
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Prisoner AU: Page 9
Three Days - Three Dinners pass.
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Next
Previous
Page One
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Master Post of Comics
#A surprise Junior to add some much needed sweetness to this page#luigi#bowser#fanart#comic#grimdark#fancomic#princess peach#mario#bowugi#prisoner!au#tw: ed mention#TW: SH#TW: Starvation
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#my art#xpiritualism#cry of fear#cof#simon henriksson#cry of fear simon#weirdcore#tw: sh#2000s nostalgia#yabujin#digital art#early 2010s#SoundCloud
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Good morning sinyala can I have some yuri please
#the outlast trials#outlast#A. Bradley Avellanos#Irene Easterman#why would ppl make Irene cuck when Avellanos is right there#tw: sh
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Nobody Pt. 6
(C.Sturniolo X Reader)
Summary:
Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places
Word Count: 1,318
TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited
A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰
-Madi <3
“”“”“”“”“”
Y/N’s POV
I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.
My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.
we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.
“”“”“”“”“”
Chris’s POV
I barely sleep anymore.
Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.
I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.
I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.
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Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)
The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.
I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.
“”“”“”“”“”
Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.
I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.
I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.
“”“”“”“”“”
Chris’s POV
I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.
LOML 🥰
CALLING…
✅ ❎
“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”
No response. Fuck.
“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”
there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”
My heart drops.
“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.
“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.
“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”
Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.
“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.
“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.
the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.
“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.
“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.
Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.
by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”
“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.
“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.
“”“”“”“”“”
Y/N’s POV
Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.
I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.
I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.
He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.
Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.
“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”
“who said I was pretending?”
“”“”“”“”“”
@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann
#madi writes things#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#chris x reader#sh!reader#tw: sh#self h@rm#tw: suidice
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Hi uh.. wanna drop a request
Can you write about a depressed hero who has been sh a lot and really is not far from ending it only for the villain to discover this when they fight and take care of little hero ?
Its a lil personal request, I've been dealing with a lot lately and just .. yeah these bring me some comfort to read, I hope it's okay with you to write, if not always respectful. Take your time, I hope you're having a nice, chill day/night
Much love to you 🪅
tw: sh
For hours, the hero had been quiet now. They were sitting on the bed of the villain’s guest room and looked out of the window every now and then, picked at their skin frequently or just worried their lip between their teeth.
At first, the villain had decided to give them some space, just to give them the chance to get used to the huge apartment that was incomparable to the hero’s. But now, the villain was impatient as anxiety filled them up. They made tea again, knowing the hero would refuse anyway but at least it was an excuse to talk to them.
Talking was…difficult for the villain. They’d been raised to be an assassin. To keep their mouth shut and follow orders like a servant. So, expressing whatever they were feeling was often challenging. They rather made the bed for the hero, cooked for them or gave them gifts. They rather did something than talk.
“Tea?” the villain asked gently, a mug in each hand and pushing the door open with their elbow. They looked into the room curiously, eyeing the hero.
“Oh…” The hero turned around. “Oh, thank you. That’s very kind, you shouldn’t have…”
Before the hero could finish the sentence with “no, thank you,” they walked over to the bed, sat down and gave the hero the hot drink. For a few minutes, they both were silent but the villain tried desperately to find a topic to talk about.
“The bed is okay?”
The hero tore their gaze off the little park that was outside the house.
“Pardon?” they asked, tired yet polite.
“Are you comfortable here?”
Now, the hero smiled.
“Very much, thank you.” They put the mug down on the nightstand but the villain could see the slight shaking in the hero’s hands.
“You’re safe here.” The villain wanted to clarify that. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
“Why not?”
The villain didn’t know what to say, couldn’t find the right words. But they saw the scars on the hero’s forearms, saw the wounds they had inflicted on themselves. Undoubtedly, the hero noticed that too.
“Can I touch them?” It was a thought that had just occurred. The villain got reminded of the many scars on their own body.
The hero’s eyes widened.
“No one has ever asked me that before,” they said.
“Can I?” the villain asked again. They put their mug right next to the hero’s.
“Yes.” The hero’s voice was thin but they also pushed up their sleeve. Some scars were older, some were fresh. Without thinking too much, or better, without thinking, the villain’s finger traced a line down the hero’s forearm.
“Fascinating,” they said. “Our body takes care of us.”
The villain lifted their own shirt to reveal a stomach that was full of scars, one particularly nasty one was right above their hip. The skin was so thin that the muscles were showing.
“Got that one from a mace.” They let their shirt fall back into place.
“You’re very different from what I expected you to be,” the hero confessed. “I thought you were this ruthless killer who is heartless.”
“I am,” the villain said.
“You’re not,” the hero answered. “God, you’re definitely not.”
The villain had no clue what that meant. But they saw the hero’s eyes and their behaviour. Sure, they tried to hide it with a fake smile for the cameras. But the villain knew that wasn’t real.
“You deserve to be here,” the villain said.
“Oh…well, thank you for having me.”
“No,” the villain said. They looked the hero directly in the eyes. “I meant, you deserve to be in this world. You deserve to live.”
The hero broke the eye contact and looked down at their own hands. Silence.
“You live for others so lovingly. Patiently waiting until they need you and sacrificing so much,” the villain said. “I wish I could tell you how much I admire you. And I wish you could believe me when I tell you that you are loved.”
The hero was still silent.
“Can I take care of them?” the villain asked and to their surprise, the hero nodded.
After the villain bandaged everything, they went to bed but it didn’t take long for the hero to knock on the villain’s door, asking if they could sleep in the villain’s bed too.
Obviously, the villain agreed and held their hand the whole night.
#I hope you’re doing better!♡#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#heroes and villains#hero#villain#hero x villain#heroxvillain#an answer for an ask#request#tw: sh
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Art trade with @damaged-dollie
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Hi!! How would König react to his Engel having sh scars? I know this is a sensitive request, feel free to ignore it 🫶
Aw I don't mind but thank you for being sensitive 💞 😘
Please skip dear readers if this is triggering for you 🩷
König will notice your scars soon, if not immediately. He knows every old bruise and cut and scar on his skin and the stories behind them, his body is a whole map of old wounds, war, and torment. Therefore he pays close attention to other people's scars.
He won't bring them up too soon out of discretion, but they make him sad, upset, and angry. He knows they are self-inflicted, and the hurt it sends in his heart is maddening because he wants to hurt the ones who have made you hurt. But what to do when you have hurt yourself…?
He eventually asks about them to root out the one guilty for your pain. It must be someone else's fault that you have resorted to cutting yourself.
"Engel, are these… have you hurt yourself?" He asks the question one day when you two are cuddling. He deliberately brings his fingers to your scars and brushes a touch over them to make it known that he sees you… All of you.
"It was... years ago," you answer with a mixture of unease, shame and sadness in your gut. It's never easy to talk about them, and besides, people usually settle for simply staring at them. They rarely if ever mention them or ask about them.
It's not the same with König, because there's no need for facades. He never shies sway from challenging topics. He can talk about gutting people with a trench knife and licking you until you make the cutest sounds – and talk about them almost in the same sentence – so why would discussing self inflicted harm be a taboo subject for him?
"Did someone make you sad?" He demands to know, and you spend the next thirty minutes assuring König that you were simply feeling horrible and desperate and there's no one to blame for it (even if there were, you would be reluctant to tell him because you know it would only make him bounce off the bed and start a manhunt).
It feels both good and bad to open up about your past, the heavy depression you went through. It's an oddly charming therapy session that ends in your therapist pulling you tight against him. You have a feeling that this man who, distortedly enough, loves the exact tools you used to cut yourself with actually understands you better than any therapist ever could.
What breaks your heart, however, is when König hugs you and sighs: "I wish I had been there when you needed me." His attempts to fix the past, present and future is heartrending, but this was a fight he couldn't win – it was yours, and you had to go through it alone.
"Angel... I know how it feels to hate yourself. You must come to me if you're feeling angry or sad. Ja?" His words are blunt and straight to the point. König never sugar-coat things, but that's what you love about him. He sees the beauty in mundane, ordinary things, he sees meaning even in despair. He says how it is, and you know he's a connoisseur in that area – self-hate, that is. You fully believe him when he says he's not a stranger to pain. In that realm, you share a bond.
Then he begs you to promise him to never hurt yourself again. If you're feeling sad, you must come to him so that he can help you. He will always remind you of your worth if you'd happen to forget it.
There's no need for tears, not when he's here. You feel an odd, peaceful calm in your soul, laying there in his arms after revealing the deepest pits of your hell to him. He's not afraid of your darkness at all. He even kisses those scars, and that's when your lashes begins to flutter along with your heart. He whispers loving things on your skin, kisses your wounds with love, the same wounds people have simply stared with pity, confusion, and ridicule.
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NOTHINGS NEW (vent)
Please spare me in dignity, won’t you please give some decency
#TW: sh#vent#vent art#trans vent#transgender vent#transgender#trans#self harm#sh#I just want to die#i want the pain to be over
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— ★: Scorpius canonically self-harms.
• Scorpius was in Malfoy Manor, touching his arms while looking in the mirror, he felt how the scars were felt on his hands and made him tremble a little, some were small that were barely visible, others were large, made by desperation, and others were suicide, where it was seen that Scorpius couldn't take it anymore. •
• Of course, Scorpius hadn't hurt himself in a long time, he had stopped doing it in fifth year, they took him out of Howarts one year due to the depth of the cuts and Draco sent him to a place where he could recover better, he didn't buy him another wand until sixth year, Scorpius did not complain, he assumed it was the best for him and he knew he had a problem, now we are in seventh year, and Scorpius regrets doing that with all his life, he feels that he let everyone down, his mother , father, Albus, he lay in bed crying while hugging his pillow and thinking that everything he did was in vain, that maybe he just wanted to get attention, Scorpius was good at home, why he would hurt himself, right? •
• Albus enters the room. When Scorpius is too depressed to leave the room Draco calls Albus to come and comfort him, that only happens in desperate measures, when Draco can no longer do anything, but Albus always comforts Draco and tells him everything will be fine. •
• He enters the room and sees Scorpius wearing a short sleeve shirt and understands the situation, he sits down on Scorpius' bed gently without wanting to disturb him and looks at him, Scorpius hid further into his pillow feeling ashamed that Albus will look at him in that state, but Albus didn't care, he just wanted Scorpius to be happy, he caressed Scorpius's hair and cheeks, brushing away Scorpius' tears and giving him a kind smile, whispering a small "do you want to talk?" •
• Scorpius shook his head slightly and Albus whispered again, "Do you want me to leave...?" Scorpius shook his head again, moving closer to Albus. Albus hugged him while kissing his hair and caressing his hands and arms. "Maybe it looks bad to you, maybe I can never take away the pain and the guilt, but I want you to know that scars are not a sign of weakness, they show how strong you were and endured for many years, and I am very proud of you that you have healed, really Scorpi" Albus kisses Scorpius on the cheek. Scorpius snuggled into Albus for protection, nothing mattered, as long as Albus was there, telling him all those nice things he was happy, happy as he always wanted to be. •
#scorbus#cursed child#scorpius malfoy#hpcc#albus potter#scorpius hyperion malfoy#harry potter#harry potter and the cursed child#albus severus potter#albus severus x scorpius#tw: sh#tw: sh mention#they so fuckin cute i cant#they are so cute#i need a albus in my life
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THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FUNNYEST THING EVER IM SORRY FOR BLASTING MY IRL FREIND LIKE THIS BUT THEY AINT ON TMBLR SO
They don't even know I sh I don't think this is killing me 💀💀💀
#sh jokes#sh meme#tw sh#tw self harm#sh#tw s3lf harm#tw self h@rm#s3lf harm#i want to cvt#self destructive behavior#tw self destructive behavior#tw: sh#self h@rm#cvtaddict#sh cvt#shblr#sh tumblr#styroblr#str0blr#sh mention#sh related#tw sh related#cvt
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WRETCHED & JOYFUL ➵ F. CASTLE
Summary: Frank sees your scars for the first time.
Warnings: DESCRIPTIONS OF S*LF-H*RM SCARS. Please proceed with caution. Some making out, doesn’t go all the way to smut.
Word count: 1.3k
Author’s note: I broke my 3 month streak recently and wrote this to process. Much love to anyone who might relate <3
The weight of his body on top of yours felt secure and all-encompassing, the warmth and firmness of his bare chest stealing away the little breath you had left between seared kisses. His arms were over your head, closing you against the mattress, and you couldn’t help but shut your eyes and let the moment consume you.
It felt like a dream, one that you had repeated an endless amount of times, but this time, the feeling of his lips and the scent of his cologne were all real and not a mere figment of your imagination.
Right here, right now, this moment was perfect.
It wasn’t the first time Frank kissed you, and right now you doubted it would be the last, but you had never been like this — enveloped between his firm body and your soft mattress, the buttons of his shirt drawn open and his chest for your hands to wander across, and your breath hitched in your throat as he moved to kiss down your neck and his stubble grazed your skin.
It was entirely too overwhelming, in the best possible way, but enough to numb your mind from any mundane thoughts, any daily worries that haunted you whenever he wasn’t there. That was why you didn’t hesitate when his large hand dipped to the hem of your sweater — why it slipped your mind that undressing you came with the burden of what hid beneath.
Frank’s eyes roamed all over you, hungry and curious as he sat back just enough to take in the sight of you, his hands balling up your sweater and tossing it onto the floor without a second thought. With your eyes heavy with intoxication of him, you watched his chest rise and fall as he watched you beneath him, the denim of his jeans abrasive against your bare thighs.
Then, his gaze found your arm, and the half-hearted smirk on his lips fell. You recognized the look instantly, and you were punched in the gut with the realization that in your need for him, you had forgotten to worry about revealing all of you to him — and tonight, you weren’t concerned about dips of soft flesh or stretches of imperfect skin as much as you were about them. The scars.
A lump rose in your throat, and panic delved into your heart as you silently watched Frank process.
”Sweetheart…”, he finally spoke up, his voice husky and heavy with a mix of emotions you couldn’t quite decipher. But it wasn’t all pity — it was, on some level, understanding, and that somehow broke your heart even harder.
”Hey, we can pretend like I ain’t see a thing”, he continued, suddenly more of his assured self when he saw the fear in your wide eyes. Fear of what, exactly, he couldn’t pinpoint. Of rejection? Judgment? Well, he had hoped you’d expect better of him, but he understood. He did. He didn’t want to push or pressure, not when you looked like a single touch would shatter you right there and then — so he waited patiently, leaving it to you to tell him what you wanted.
”It’s okay”, you finally managed, your lip trembling slightly as you sat up on the pillows, brushing your hand across your scarred arm and not missing the way Frank tensed when you did. Still, there was something safe in the way he softly looked you over, convincing you to speak up. ”I—I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But it’s… not my favorite thing to constantly hide from you”, you hesitated, and swallowing, Frank sat down opposite from you and gave you a slow nod.
”You don’t owe me nothin’, sweetheart. But I promise, you ain’t gotta hide with me. Shit, you deal with my messes every goddamn day, yeah? I’mma stick by you all the same”, he promised, making sure to keep his eyes on yours, not staring at the faded scars littered across your arm. He remained patient and respectful with you, and you certainly noticed.
”Promise I’m not gonna scare you away?” you asked with a quiet chuckle and repeating the sound, Frank ducked his head briefly before glancing up at you.
”Promise.” He spoke so sternly, you couldn’t help but believe him. When he reached for your hand, you extended your arm over to him and let him encompass your smaller fingers against his palm. ”Y’know I love you, right?” he asked quietly, then, almost shy, and you melted into a smile.
”I know, Frankie. I love you, too”, you whispered before leaning over to him to press a kiss against his beaten nose. ”And don’t ever think you’ve caused any of this”, you pleaded, and with a hesitant nod, he made a silent promise. You knew him well enough to know he wanted to blame himself, which was why you were glad when he asked for clarification.
”You don’t gotta answer this. Aight? I make you uncomfortable, you tell me to shut the fuck up”, he insisted, and you couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. ”What, uh… What’s… How come, y’know?” he asked, stumbling, just a hint awkward but you appreciated his attempt to remain respectful.
You swallowed. It was a loaded question, but one you wanted to help him understand. ”Sometimes it just hurts too much. Too many loud thoughts in my head at once, too many overwhelming feelings… I guess, in some weird way, I just want to be heard. To be taken seriously. I’m hurting but when it’s on the inside…”, you struggled to find the right words. But the look in Frank’s eyes suggested that maybe he understood.
”Yeah, hey… I hear you, sweetheart. I ain’t sayin’ it’s the same, but that, uh… that makes sense to me, I s’pose”, he licked his lips, still holding your hand with soft caresses against your skin. ”And you’ve seen me. I got plenty of my scars, too. You’ve never once judged me, huh?” he reminded, and with a soft smile, you nodded.
A silence fell in the room, and you wondered if, after all, it had been a bit too much.
”Kinda ruined the mood, huh?” you chuckled nervously, and rushing to interject you with a pfft, Frank gripped your hand a bit tighter.
”Nah, don’t say that. I ain’t goin’ anywhere”, he gave you a grave look before gesturing at his lap. ”C’mere”, he whispered, and unsure what he was planning, you slowly crawled to straddle his hips, your hands landing on his chest while his came to rest on your waist.
”What are you thinking?” you asked with bated breath, watching his eyes as they eyed your arm with your permission, allowing him to take in the sight fully.
Slowly, Frank reached for your wrist and held your arm up so he could place a kiss along the scars, followed by another one, and another, and another…
”I think you’re beautiful”, he murmured, looking up into your eyes in a way that sent your heart reeling and stomach flipping. ”Fuckin’ beautiful and goddamn brave. You amaze me, sweetheart. So strong”, he showered you with praise, leaning in to kiss your jaw — not so heated this time, promising you that he had no ulterior motive, only the hope of showing you even a sliver of the affection and love you deserved.
”That’s bold coming from you”, you argued with a content sigh, and with a protesting grumble rising up his chest, Frank leaned into you more.
”This ain’t ’bout me. I fuckin’ adore you, ’s what I think”, he stated matter-of-factly, and when you broke into a faint smile, he couldn’t help but do the same. ”Means a lot you’d share with me. And hey, any time you need me to hold your hand through the urge, you lemme know. I’m all in”, Frank continued, his low voice sending a shiver down your spine.
Tears welled up in your eyes, and softly shushing you, Frank wrapped his arms around you and let you drop your head to his shoulder. He hugged you, his firm hands holding you tight as you cried, so grateful and so safe in his arms.
And while it wasn’t a fix or a solution, his promise to stand by your side was hope.
#frank castle#frank castle fanfiction#frank castle x reader#the punisher#the punisher x reader#tw: sh
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