♥︎ ᯇ welcome ?

❝ Night/Magpie❞

⋆ ࣪.✦ 𓂋 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖻𝗈𝗒 𓋼𓍊 ˳ ֹ₊ ✰

➼『︎Starry/Oddity/Moth/Mangy』︎

☆૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა

➼『18』︎

𓄹 ࣪˖ᓚᘏᗢ ✰𓍊𓋼⋆ ࣪.⟢

➼『They/It/Xe』

⋆ ࣪.✦𓂋stᥲrd͟u͟s͟t͟! ɞ⋆𓄹 ࣪˖𓂋

➼ 『DMs - Open』︎

ꕤ ˖ ࣪✿𓂋love talk 𓋼𓍊ֹ ₊✿

➼『Artist + Gamer』︎

˓𓄹 ࣪˖🌟⋆ ࣪.✦ᓚᘏᗢ⋆ ࣪.⟢

➼『ADHD/FASD』︎

⟡⁺ ◌ 𓏸 ₊💫⁺.𓏸 ₊⟡

➼『Pansexual - Polyamorous/Ambiamorous』︎

ʚꪑ𝘰𝘰𝙣 ⟢𝘭ᜊ𝙫𝘦𝘳 ˓𓄹 ࣪˖🌔⋆ ࣪.✦ 𓂋

➼『PKM/WC/MLP/WOF & More

🧸𓋼𓍊ֹ ₊✿𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮, 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦.ɞ⋆𓄹 ࣪˖𓂋

Working on me myself and I and my life starting Monday I've been saying imma do this for years but I never had the right ppl or the right resources available to me but now I have a therapist who's more than willing to help and I have the perfect resources to help me and guide me towards and down the right path so starting Monday I'm finally working on me myself and I and my life and working on getting my life and shit together and straight and it's about time that I do this I'm starting my starting my healing journey and working on fixing mending and healing my mental emotional and physical health state and well being and learning all about self love and self care and practicing/how to love and care for myself completely and I'm also going to learn how to be a better girlfriend to my boyfriend with my therapist help imma ask her if she can help me be a better friend, associate, and best friend and setting up boundaries and expectations from/for them and I'm learning how to get my life and shit together and straight with the help of my case Manger from fountain house and once I learn how to be a better friend associate and best friend and learn the boundaries and expectations I would like to have/practice with/for them I will start searching for friends and associates at the programs I'm apart of my life is finally falling into place and I'm picking up the pieces and putting them back together little by little on my own it's not easy especially since I'm struggling with major depressive disorder and soical anxiety and am depressed but I'm sure as hell doing it like I said before a better life is coming for me I can just see it like Beyonce said "after all of the darkness and sadness soon comes happiness if I surround myself with positive things I'll gain prosperity" I believe that there's sometype of lbright ight in the end of this dark road a bright light like no other a bright light that will bring me the peace and happiness and prosperity that I've been searching for, for years and it's finally coming yet ironically I don't know how to feel about it I mean ig I should be excited and happy about this but I'm just not I have no negative nor positive feelings about this but I am looking forward to it

i talk of body image, weight gain, self-hate, soical anxiety, anxiety, etc. below the cut, so just read at your own risk

i doubt any of you will see this, but if you sympathize with any of this, i understand where you’re coming from. 

i don’t get why i wasn't born pretty. 

all these other girls are pretty and sweet and nice and i hate to say it but i ahte it. i hate that while other girls get to eat whatever they want, i LOOK at food and i put on ten pounds. i hate that i have friends who are pretty and smart and have friends, and they’ve got everything i want. 

i don’t get it. 

i hate that i have a friend who’s pretty much perfect. i fucking envy her. she’s pretty and smart, and she’s what i want to be. i hate when she talks about how she’s got friends and she always looks pretty and is pretty. don’t get me wrong, she’s so sweet and has been there for me and i love her, but i just wihs that she could really understand what it’s like to be fat and ugly and disgusting. every time she and i talk about shopping and clothes and stuff it just makes me so...gross.

i don’t get why i’ve got to deal with constant bleeding from an iud, be repulsive to all these guys, and why i can’t keep a romantic relationship. why am i so fucking repulsive? what’s wrong with me? i know i might have put on a few pounds but i’m still pretty? right?

i wish that i could be confident and smart and pretty and everything that i’m not. i’m not really smart, i’m just average and i’m only realizing that now. i bury myself here and in my writing and in my work and i do that because i can’t socialize in real life without second guessing my every move. but yet, if a pretty girl did this it would be fine. but since i’m just a gargantuan, oversized, gross, fat, ugly girl, it’s not that. 

i hate myself. 

i hate that i’m misshapen.

i hate that nobody gets it.

nobody gets it. 

none of my friends know what its like to pray that someday you’ll be able to afford plastic surgery to suck the fat out of you. 

none of them understadn what it’s like to go into a store and not find your size, or to only be reduced to a select few styles.

none of them get what it’s like to grow up fat and to be found repulsive for every year of your life.

i wish someone understood. 

i wish my brain wasn’t like this.

Character Intro The Bloom System

Name: Bloom System

System members and roles:

Seo-Yum: Host, Trans Femme, she/they Seong: Protector, Demi boy, He/they

Myung: Truama holder, Agender, Xe/xeir

Eun: No role, Agender, They/them Collectively the syetm goes by they/them.

Age: 29-30 depending on timeline

Race: Human

Nationality: South Korea

Appearance: The bloom System are lanky with a feminine/androgynous appearance. Their hair is mid length, with dark roots that fade into a fiery red. Their face is rounded with a mostly healed scar across their left cheek. Their right forearm is covered by a flower tattoo, a hibiscus and a rose One of their eyes is a Dark Brown with a lighter almost gold circle around the pupil. While another is red and often doesn’t follow their gaze right. On closer inspection the red "eye" is made of glass.

Each of the individual personalities also has a different sense of style. Seo-Yun prefers punkier yet feminine clothes, with a lot of patterns, differing textures and studs. Typically favouring the colours red, black and white. In their various shades and hues. When performing she will wear a long pink-red wig with curls. As well as an eyepatch to hide the Red/Damaged eye.

Myung often wears airy, flowy but practical fashions in paste colours. Lolita fashion, Typically sweet due to xeir love of softer, fluffier things. When Fronting xe’ll either leave the hair as is or wear lavender wigs of varying lengths to better coordinate with whatever outfit xe have picked out for xemself.

Seong tends towear more casual street wear in pastels, paticularly sky blues and pastel pinks. Though he doesn't front as often as Seo -Yun and Myung, Though heis the one most likely to get front stuck. As such his wardrobe is one of the larger ones. Hair wise he tends to go for shorter, black or blonde wigs.

Eun by contrast to their other headmates dresses more plainly, with just shirts and t shirts in earth tones and black trousers. They keep the natural hair and rarely try to stand out.

MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS Current Goal/Purpose: Gain Justice for themselves and all the others that escaped [redacted] Talents: Singing, Botany, Watercolor painting. Cooking. Chemistry Inabilities: Seo-Yun can barely work a computer, She’s like a boomer. Collectively the Bloom system: Have Depress/Anxiety, PTSD and OSDD(The reason they are multiples) Cannot sew. Bad at maths Fears: Forced Integration, their secrets being found out, not having enough food. Dark rooms. General Personality: To the outside word, The Jun's are siblings, Quads in fact. Who lead very busy and secluded lives. With Seo-Yun being more outgoing and adventurous. While Myung is more withdrawn and shy. Eun more anti soical, while Seong mediiates between his more head strong sibilngs.

Seo-Yun GP: Outgoing, bubbly and rather matter of fact. With a strong empathy towards others, alongside her desire to make others feel joy. Coupled with a love of memes and jokes, She is the most outgoing and people-liking of the group next to Seong. Wherever she goes, and whatever she does. She does to her fullest extent. Be it self-care or chasing her dreams. When on the stage. She mixes provocative and punk aesthetics with the typical charms and beats of Popular music.

Myung GP: Myung or My as xey are affectionately called by friends and family. Is more Reserved of the pair. Xey love botany and chemistry and often acts as the parental friend around the few treasured people xe keep close. An innocent little bean that must be protected at all costs.

Seong GP: A sarcastic but well meaning young man witha prankster's heart. Seong is the life of the party and the first to go "hey watch this!" before doing something rediucously stupid yet funny. He enjoys making other people feel joy and tends to not take things too seriously.

Eun: Anti soical and abrasive. Eun is not one to speak much and when they do, it's usually short, to the point and to make their leave. Eun isn't however mean for mean's sake. They simply struggle with forming connections and find it dificult to relate to others outside of their few interests.

Inner Personality: Seo-Yun: Under the surface she has a rather pessimistic and cynical view of the world. A result of the pain the system and she as an individual endured.

Myung: Beneath the innocence and shyness is someone born of Anger and coldness. Seeing the world as something hostile to xeir existence and apathetic to the injustice dealt to not just the system. But to the others stuck in the same situation they had found themselves in. However xey are illed anxiety. Making xeir anger more directed towards systems of power and oppression and xeir own weakness.

Seong: Under the sarcasam is a frail man who wants to be good, kind and honest about his feelings, yet fels too afraid to do so. He is self consious, espically as he feels like he isn't a "real" person.

Eun: Beneath the abrasiveness lays someone who earns for connection but is plauged with guilt. As the person who was fronting when joining [redeacted] Eun feels responabile for everything done to or by the system while there.

Secret: Their past connection to [REDACTED], That they are a system. More: HISTORICAL BACKGROUND General History: Born to Cirán and Mi-kyung Jun. The Bloom system’s lives started off as fairly normal, aside from a traumatic incident involving their maternal grandmother and a river. Things changed however during their university years when they began to truly understand themselves, both as a Plural system and Transgender. As while they were gone. Their father’s controlling and abusive nature, along with his obsession with christanity bubbled onto the surface. Both they and their mother experienced abuse by his hands. Though their mother was also guilty in neglect and emotionally manipulating them. The worst of it happening when Seo-Yun. As a pop idol was outed as a trans woman by a rival.

As a result the abuse worsened until they were thrown out onto the streets for nine years. Unable to afford rent without their parents support and having to fight rumors. It was then that they were invited to a place that styled it’s self.. ..As a Paradise and life took a darker turn.

Present Life: Having reconnected with their mother..and realising she too was plural, a textbook case of Dissociative identity disorder no less.They escaped both Cirian and the place that turned out to be no paradise, But a living hell. Both mothers and Children now lived together in a more quiet, rural part of South korea.

I am almost never being rude I promise I’m just massively bad at remembering soical conventions and have anxiety so if I like forget to smile or whatever when If I make eye contact with you it’s not because I’m being purposely rude it’s because I’m currently internally panicking and forgot to move my mouth muscles

I'm sitting here high bored depressed, lonely , self hating, bloody, disgusted in myself why am I still here why do I still think of you when you hurt me so much and broke the person I was I hate you but I hate myself more I really dont want to live anymore my life is a joke I'm a joke theres nothing even redeemable about me just a lost artistic junkie lost in the dark .

When you go to an event and the host is like let us go around the room and introduce ourselves.

And I am like can we not do this, it is okay if people don't know my name.

And then after introduction (which went badly for me become I panicked and blunted something and still can hear my heartbeat) are over they are lets play a game.

I am already planning to die because for God sake I don't want to play games with people I have just met and also I have soical anxiety and I am generally very awkward anyway. Also this whole situation is a nightmare.

Tecna and Aisha are team "leave me the FUCK alone, no one look at me ever"

Love that for them

Hi idk how to make friends but your blog is awesome and you seem even more awesome so hey if you ever want someone to talk to I am online all the time! :3 Hey.

Oh mood opdfklfdlkkfd I’m bad at making friends!! But I try!! Also howdy!!

I showed the discord RP chat to my cousin and she hit me in the face. So how are you?

she’s right and she should show it, i’m not good your rp is killing me and i have to switch my classes for the second time so my consular might be annoyed but yee how are u?

I’m so not ready to go to this bar lmfao

Imagine Shuichi is convinced by his friends to sign up for a hpa school play.

Shuichi likely has a bit of distain for acting as he probably got forced into it as a little kid by his parents, but i could see him trying it again at hpa just once as a way to combat his soical anxiety. Besides, it'd be good for him to disconnect acting from his parents by making new and fonder memories of it to make it less of an issue for him.

I think it'd be funny if he went into it thinking he'd be rusty as hell or too nervous to get past auditions, and his friends seceretly thought the same but planned on cheering him on no matter the out come so he wouldn't keep connecting acting to negitivity. But then it turns out Shuichi is alot better at it than anyone expected, with his friends cheering him on he was able to put his anxiety on the back burner enough to let his far more natrual acting capabilities shine through.

I like having Shuichi overcome his mental issues. even if he reverts right back into them later, it's nice to see him put himself out there and not get hurt

        ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ Made in Kisekae 2  ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

@kippkapp @giinbean @aquaticcryptid  @cherryblossomdokis @spooky-toastsnew

x Names: I’Okai Shalon ( I-Oh-Kay  Sha-Loan ) x Nicknames: Oki (Doki) // Sha  x Age: 25 x Sexuality: Disaster Pansexual x Pronoun: He/They

x Personality: That overly jumpy and scardy cat character that has a very weird sense of confidence about the wrong things. Easily flustered when teased and bad social anxiety. King of missing soical cues and sarcastic remarks. Right over his head (Whoosp). Friendly just give him a sec to warm up to you.

         ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ Headcanons have spoliers warning  ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

x Has been working at the Pizza Plex since he was 19. Starting in the food courted but was switched over to the bowling alley.

x While stationed in the bowling alley, I’Okai had a bad habit of sneaking off in the backrooms. He had a feeling something was wrong about the place and being nosy he wishes to find out what it is.

x Great bowler and will brag about it. Try him bitch!

x Became Freddy’s personal care taker after being caught sneaking around the backrooms and unconinous when he was 22. The mangner didn’t want to fire him because Okai is a great worker but just too nosy. So By putting him with Freddy he be forced to stay put (i mean you can’t drag a giant robot along with you......riiigggghhhht)

x I’Okai can’t remember anything that happened when he was found in the back. All he knows is that his eyes are a different color and sometimes he gets a metal taste in his mouth.

x Is besties with Vivi, @cherryblossomdokis ‘s sona, and Justin and highkeys tries to get them to join him on his adventures because he is too scared to go alone but too stubborn to not go at all.

x Will legit scream the whole time but then get mad when no one else wants to keep going with him

x As Freddy’s care taker he has to make sure that Freddy is emotionally stable, report any bugs or glitches, make sure he is repainted and polished if need be, and always ready for every big show. At first I’Okai didn’t go to the shows and stayed in Freddy’s room. But now he always goes and is front row with the other care takers. 

x Scared to death of Monty. He kinda gets along with Vanessa, indifferent about Sun and Moon, will fight Rox, loves DJ Music Man and Chica.

x Has developed a weird crush on Freddy once he becomes care taker, doesn’t understand where it comes from (daddy issues are strong tonight kids). Sometimes he gets a weird feeling that his attraction to Freddy aren’t all his.

x Loves holding the giant Freddy bear in Freddy’s room. Call him Deku because he is building a collection of Freddy merch

x Sometimes he gets weird feelings of deja vu that makes him feel like he is in danger and needs to move from where he is. Most of these times it’s when he is walking past Monty’s golf course or when Monty is passing by with Justin. 

x Has noticed how weird Vanessa gets.

x During the events of the game I’Okai breaks back into the plex and runs into Freddy and Gregory and aids them up until a certain point where he gets caught by Vanny and held captive. On either good endings the duo breaks him out, when they do that can see a weird purple glow around him and he starts muttering words about how odd it feels to be “back and yet still away”. 

x I’Okai was possessed by Superstar Bonnie the night he was sneaking around in the backrooms and stubled into the repair bay and found a still glitching yet completely broken Bonnie. When he touched Bonnie they were fused together. However I’Okai’s soul was stronger and Bonnie was kept under only slipping out once and a while. 

x Freddy can sense his best friend within I’Okai and welcomes them both back.

x You can guess from here I’m shipping them HEH!!

         ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀ Headcanons have spoliers warning  ▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

I really don't know how deal with the feeling of loosing face

I love how people are saying komi can't communicate is a fetished view on social anxiety

While watamote is a legit soical anxious anime, albeit a comedy, watamote is second hand cringe to watch as this poor girl stumbles through her school life

i am moving into my dorm friday and lowkey nervous heck