#So this part about grief and loss is essentially complete | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steelstreqq · 4 months

Text

pov i revive an old project from 2021 because i watched one sorry boys video

this is the 'rustout au', its a combination of TWD, fallout 4, and rust but i shoved silly block men (and ted nivison) in it. essentially its a zombie apocalypse au that takes place at some time in the 80s or 90s following a nuclear fallout that occurred due to undisclosed government activities with foreign global superpowers. none of the normal civilians really know why the nukes went off and only a few of the most wealthy in the community really were able to get down to the bunkers in time

there are a ton of characters i want to include in this au, but considering i made this in the peak of the dsmp fandom i have to be kinda careful to not pick out any ccs who are still a part of dream's posse.. :pensive:

so far, the other characters in this au who aren't displayed here are fundy, techno, philza, bizly, grizly, condi, connor, jack, eret, and a few others i cant think of rn >_<

some character information below ^-^

WILBUR G. SOOT - the widowed father to fundy. wilbur lived in a house in a suburban neighborhood with his teen aged son before the nukes went off. once the initial fallout occurred, will and fundy had an argument about where they should shelter. the day after the argument, wilbur awoke to find fundy had completely disappeared. grief stricken at the loss of another family member (under the impression that he was the reason fundy had 'ran off'), wilbur risked his safety to search for his son, traveling from settlement to settlement. he hated himself and blamed himself for his son's disappearance. by this point, he wanted to lie in the dirt and rot with the corpse of the land below him

TOMMY ZA - the adoptive son of phil, a single child. tommy was at school during the blasts, thus he was separated from his father. he and the rest of his school were ushered to the basement following the explosions to protect them from fallout. when given the all clear, tommy ran down barren streets to find his way home, and never did. too frantic and unable to navigate his way properly, he became stranded and lost. the crushing anxiety of being alone seemed to summon a taller man with a guitar case from a local town. he had found himself wandering into tommy's neighborhood. and therein, an alliance was formed.

"RANBOO" - ranboo is a mysterious creature who doesn't really appreciate questions about his history. tommy and wilbur found him a month or two into constructing their own settlement. ranboo was found uncomfortably asleep in a cramped car not far off from Dome. he was rudely awakened with a violent mugging from tommy. wilbur caught up to the shorter brit and apologized for his actions, suggesting that ranboo could stay at their camp as compensation for the troubles that tommy had brought to ranboo. ranboo reluctantly agreed and now is a part of the dome's settlement. tommy speculates ranboo is secretly a mentally mutated creature-freak-thing and must be put down immediately, ranboo just wants to eat dinner in peace.

CHARLIE SICKLE - charlie is the latest member to join the settlement. the former front man for the hit pop group Roll With You. during an england tour, the nukes went off and front man charlie had been stranded during his burger lunch break. separated from the rest of his band mates. charlie has faced deterioration in his mental state due to the stress of surviving during such a gruesome time period. by the time wilbur finds himself at the receiving end of charlie's gun, he is already unhinged. wilbur manages to talk charlie into submission carefully, and decides to see if he can form a fragile alliance with charlie for some sort of twisted protection. charlie agrees, as he is so *sick* of being alone. charlie simply insists he is just a silly billy, everybody else thinks hes clinically insane

DOME- dome is a passive settlement founded by wilbur soot to bring in local survivors and give them a small and safe community to rebuild humanity. although this is a large goal in such a hostile and dangerous situation, tommy gives wilbur hope to keep going. who knows, maybe while scouting for survivors, they could stumble across phil or fundy

TED - ted is a serial killer, plain and simple. hired by schlatt to be a bodyguard after the fallout, ted had escaped his cinder block hell to essentially be a guard dog thanks to the nukes. it turns out prisons arent explosion-proof. ted is silent, he doesnt speak much, but he has a clear cut focus on what he wants. when he does speak, he talks clearly and normally. mostly, about his travels with his good buddy 'eddie nine pins', whom he apparently did everything with before getting caught

J. SCHLATT - schlatt is a larger than life business mogul, the ceo of a handful of companies that produce clothes, products, music, etc. hes an incredibly creative and intuitive man who knows how to get what he wants. he is the forefront leader of his settlement in the bunker. schlatt is falsely married to quackity, both of them agreeing to commit marriage fraud when they initially entered the world of entrepreneurship as it looks better and improves both of their charisma in social situations. their 'marriage' is entirely superficial and loveless, purely for aesthetics

A. QUACKITY - you might say quackity is a strange last name, he'd tell you to mind your own business and call you poor in two different languages. quackity runs a small 'medicine' dealing business on the surface. in exchange for fancy goods and food, quackity will give out medicine to needy survivors with no real idea of what any of it does. indirectly, quackity has killed 15+ people with his medication and harmed countless others. he doesnt feel bad, as long as he gets something out of it. he's been spoiled by his previously lavish life and just can't stand to let it all go

TOBY "TUBBO" SCHLATT - tubbo is the adoptive son of schlatt. while schlatt opted to adopt tubbo purely for aesthetics, just as he did with his marriage, he ended up getting somewhat attached to the little guy (and so did quackity). adopted at the age of 13, tubbo was quickly exposed to the inside mechanisms of business, the lying and cheating that goes on behind the retina and he has no interest in becoming a mogul like his father. rather, he opts for weapon studies and collecting a massive arsenal of different types of guns and bombs. tubbo sees the fallout as more of a playground than anything, being able to collect and test as many 'toys' as he wants. tubbo and tommy have crossed paths on several occasions, wherein they both will have a bit of a scuffle until theyre tired, then sit and talk. they consider each other friends, and neither of them know of the conflict between schlatt and wilbur

THE BUNKER - the bunker was once a safe haven for the one percent in england, but only a week into shelter, everybody was slaughtered. quackity and schlatt performed a hostile takeover of the bunker for no greater reason than the fact they wanted more space and more liberties. theyve now claimed the entire bunker as their home, and they want to see how far they can expand their power and control.

if youve made it this far, thx so much for reading it means the WORLD to me.. ill be posting abt this au alongside my other projects like claymore hills and the sanatorium au (which also was a 2021 thing!!)

heres a playlist i made for the rustout au if anybody is as interested in music as i am

thanks sm again, likes and reblogs are both appreciated ^-^ asks are open and heavily encouraged if you wanna know more :DD i know dsmpblr is a little dead but maybe mcytblr might like this, u never know if u dont try so ill take shot in the dark ^-^

note: NONE of these characters should be confused with the CCs. they are loosely based off of real interactions and projects but are entirely FICTIONAL in this universe. i do not support the actions of content creators such as dream, george, sapnap, punz, and many others associated with dream thus they will NOT be in this project. thank you.

233 notes · View notes

mtkay13 · 2 months

Text

The peach blossoms are blooming

Lol @the fancy title, haha. Yesterday I promised "two hoboxu's today!" but I'm an inconsistant liar so the second is today and not yesterday, HAH.

Anyway, another painting of my very beloved; more about this piece below!

So aside of the obvious joke, what I really wanted to work on and represent on this picture is, as the title makes it clearer, grief, and what it looks like for ZZS.

The idea came from imagining ZZS setting off, happy with his disguise, and passing by a peach tree orchards and seeing all the peach blossoms blooming, and what it would entail.

...So let's talk about what TYK is about again, shall we?

(usual caveat: those are my thoughts and interpretations etc etc)

Little is known of the four years that separate the end of QY and the beginning of TYK. Even less is obviously stated when it comes to the reasons why ZZS has put in the nails, besides the obvious "requirement to leave Tian Chuang" part.

So, trying to leave all headcanons and other suppositions aside, and looking at what the text gives us, one of the main "storylines" of ZZS' personal journey across both books seems to be: dealing with the loss of LJX, first of their relationship, and later, of LJX entirely.

>I'm going to boldly announce that (I think) TYK is in great parts a story about getting over grief, or rather, properly living with grief.

Needless to say that it is clear that ZZS has a bunch of issues he's dealing with, including "the void after meeting your goals; what's next?" and some form of burnout from completely over-exerting himself and going way beyond what he thought he could sustain mentally; but also. Four years after he lost LJX, ZZS is still deeply grieving. Still seeing him in crowds, still thinking about him frequently, still hallucinating him, dreaming of him. He couldn't resist taking in ZCL because ZCL reminded him of LJX. Nearly every single thought of his own past ends up rooting back to LJX.

The first time he mentions LJX's name out loud in TYK, chapter 41, is the first time he mentions it at all in four years, and to quote the text:

Speaking out his name hadn't been that big of a deal, in the end; it had only felt like something had been pulled out of his chest—like he was now missing a piece, like it left behind an empty void.

(TYK ch41, TL by me)

The next scene is when it hits ZZS that he's going to die; from that moment on, ZZS starts feeling stupid, ZZS slowly starts wanting to find a solution, influenced by WKX... and the story culminates with ZZS making the opposite decision that he made in QY: instead of risking never seeing WKX alive again, and against WKX's decision, he goes to meet him, unlike LJX whom he was too scared to go meet, and lost forever without even saying goodbye.

>I think that ZZS essentially took the nails because he couldn't manage to live with that grief, basically. (I know, I KNOW there are other reasons, but for the sake of analyzing this theme, I find interesting to look at it from this angle; how the narrative shifts towards ZZS putting in the efforts to stay alive at the exact same times he starts letting go of LJX literally.) And then, as he learns, as he rediscovers life differently, the story becomes about getting free from the nails, about actially living with that grief rather than dying because of it.

*coughs* so, hum, yes. This is what I wanted to represent. What grief looks like, at this stage of melancholic, happy, self-deprecating acceptance of freedom through death—freedom of the burden of grief and guilt. It's a bittersweet feeling, but the way I see it, he smiles out of what he thinks is inner peace, resignation, and once again, self-deprecation.

I would go even deeper, in that ZZS' relationship to death with regards to LJX is quite complex and difficult, given how he was told by LJX himself that he ought to die for what he's done (or misunderstood LJX saying so), but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't have the brain juice to go there again (since it wouldn't even be the first time iirc). SO YEAH, again, grief, but ZZS style: turned into a bit of a melancholic, silly, but gentle joke, and with a smile on the face. On brand with TYK as well.

Cheers!

#tian ya ke #zhou zishu #liang jiuxiao #tyk #zzs #meta #qi ye

127 notes · View notes

obae-me · 3 months

Note

I had an obey me brain root early and I finally realized something: Lucifer is, in fact, the thing who glue the family together

1. He is the one who adopted brothers like they're pokemon

2. The family dynamic still will work if someone other brother goes away but it will stop if Lucifer died (or any other stuff happens with him)

Ok let me elaborate: I'm not saying that the brothers will stop talking with each other in the minute of the incident happens, this change would be more gradual and slow for some of them (or faster)

If Lucifer dies, Mammon and Asmo will try to keep the family together, but slowly they'll stop joking and talk. The silence will be predominant in the dinner table

We all know that no one of them knows how to grief. Lilith dead still hurt them but if they lost Lucifer? They spent much more time with Lucifer than with Lilith. They went with him in hell just because they wanted spent time with him

Belphie will be the first one who will isolate himself (oblivious) and Satan will be the second (he lost his dad for the sake of suffering) and family will fall apart after that

The brothers love each other and they still do, but it hurts so much they can't ignore the problem and stop talking or thinking about Lucifer, they can't act like nothing happened

The brothers miss each other but they also don't know how to talk with each other after their loss and one night maybe months after the incident the house of lamentations will be finally in complete silence and empathy

Yes, yes, yes! All of this.

Also, I really do love the image of Lucifer collecting his brothers like they're Pokémon, so cute and hilarious. Now I just keep thinking of them all designed as Pokemon and what kind of skills they would have... Lucifer with the little trainer outfit...

Barbatos as one of the Nurses... Diavolo as the Professor...

Would that make Simeon and Solomon Team Rocket?...

But moving on!

I know for a fact that somewhere within the original Shall We Date, there is a flashback scene (I can't recall if it's in the story lessons or in one of the cards) but shortly after the Fall, Lucifer is pretty depressed, he confessions to Mammon that he's having a hard time keeping it together. Mammon then takes up his proper Second-In-Command role and essentially shakes Lucifer and lectures him, forcing him to get a grip. Because Mammon acknowledges that if Lucifer breaks/leaves/etc. the family will fall apart.

Lucifer is the first in command for a reason. All his brothers followed him for a reason. They all look up to him and admire him deeply even if they won't admit it. Lucifer would raise hell and do anything for his family.

So if he were to disappear... things wouldn't be the same.

They all have their part to play. They all need each other.

#not writing #asks #anon #obey me lucifer

66 notes · View notes

lookbluesoup · 1 year

Text

Hydaelyn in Endwalker

At the risk of looking stupid online I'm going to field my perplexions about Hydaelyn that've been bothering me for months lol This post is... a little Hydaelyn critical. But I do offer that in good faith, I LOVE the character and I'm not trying to just trash her, I'm genuinely interested to hear other perspectives about it. (But please be nice, everyone is entitled to their own take)

Also this is not in response to anyone else's post. I haven't even seen any Hydaelyn posts circulating lately. I'm not vagueing anyone or trying to start drama. Just trying to sort out my own feelings about this character.

So my main takeaway from MSQ was that love is, ultimately, what saves you. That humans (including Ancients!) aren't perfect, and cannot love perfectly, but the shared love of you and others is still what saves you.

And, also, that grief is a part of life. Mistakes are a part of life. Conflict and loss happen, but they need not destroy you. Stand for doing right as best that you can, forgive yourself and keep trying, keep loving - both yourself and others.

There was an incredible amount of emphasis on not judging or hating one's enemies, about accepting the humanity in all of us and coming together, which I really loved.

There was also, of course, a huge rejection of self-sacrifice and martyrdom.

I saw all those themes in the Dark Knight quests a LOT (especially before the English translation changed so many scenes), and I assume Ishikawa was continuing that theme from Shadowbringers onward.

So again! I don't hate Hydaelyn!

But I feel like... at least in the English translation, she is still treated with excessive reverence, like a goddess, by the Scions - even ones it didn't really make sense to after her origin came out, like Y'sthola.

And at least on my first playthrough, while I like Venat a lot and love the drama of the Final Days pushing everyone into points of desperation, to their breaking points, and her decision to sunder the world definitely did ultimately help (help!) make it possible for us to defeat the Endsinger... I dunno.

To me she was still subject to the same arrogance as the rest of the Ancients. Whether her decision paid off or not, she still took into her hands the fate of the entire Star, she still made a decision that would result in millions of deaths.

And if we're going by Hydaelyn's own assertion, that each reincarnation is their own person, not just a missing piece of a whole... then to achieve her goal of a better world, she killed all the remaining Ancients except those three.

She chose to create a world where death and trauma would affect generation after generation - and she can say that it was for the greater good, for the world to survive. But that was essentially the Convocation’s justification too, in creating Zodiark and orchestrating the Rejoinings. Committing genocide to prove that genocide is wrong… is not noble.

The cutscene with her sundering the world, where the people insist they'll return to a world free of sorrow underneath a burning sky, could also NOT be how it actually happened. It had to be representational of her feelings and conclusion. Becoming Hydaelyn took coordination with her followers and planning.

At least in English, idk about the original Japanese, Hythlodaeus's shade describes the time of the Sundering as if the world wasn't in utter ruin at that point. It was beginning to heal, they had restored some natural systems, but the Ancients were short in numbers. At that point, they were done sacrificing their own people, in time they were going to sacrifice other life - plants and animals, to restore those lost brethren.

At the very least, Hythlodaeus's completely different account shows that the two sects of people post-Zodiark were viewing their sacrifice and end goal in completely different ways. Ethics aside, whether the competing goal was achievable or not… we will never know, because Venat stopped it from happening.

But I don't think either recounting has a monopoly on the truth. There was no One Truth, there were just competing needs and perspectives. And though Venat insists that unity is necessary to avert the Endsinger - she perpetuates this division. Azem refused her followers call to help summon Hydaelyn, and I think that's significant.

But I'll also acknowledge that Azem didn't manage to save the Ancients, either.

And you could argue that the Ancients were their own worst enemy. They kind of were.

Hermes was a really, really great caricature of severe, untreated Depression. And he had the powers of a god. His creations were sent to find a specific answer in the world beyond, and like their creator, they didn't have the tools to process hearing an answer other than what they were expecting. They were trapped in their own perspective. He was looking for answers in the stars, instead of in himself. Their own pain and inability to engage with emotion in a healthy way overwhelmed every encounter they had and created the very reality he so feared.

He did not use the proper channels for peer review before sending them out on their mission. Those rules, those checks and balances, that community approach to design, existed to protect the Ancients from their own power, and he deliberately acted in secret. He isolated himself from society, convinced himself his pain was something nobody could understand, made an island of himself and doubled down on his own jaded beliefs.

I don't know what kind of mental health facilities were available to the Ancients - we just don't have that information. But I do know that he was treated with patience and forgiveness by a significant number of colleagues, and his quirks weren't held against him. People did try to help and accommodate him, even if they didn't always understand. He had been promoted to a powerful position. I don't know if it's fair to blame anyone in particular, or even their society, for what happened. Because again... everyone was doing the best they could with what they had.

If anything, the problem was that literally any Ancient could have made a similar mistake in the right situation. They were ALL that powerful. Eventually chaos would happen. Sundered souls can certainly create destruction, but not on the same scale.

I don't personally agree with Hydaelyn's decision not to reach out to the Convocation. I understand being careful, and thinking through what the next step should be before acting. But there's a LOT of "maybes" in this argument:

And ultimately, it's her doing the same thing as Hermes, putting the power of judgement over an entire people in her own hands. She's assuming that she is in a unique position to decide the fate of the entire Star. It's not evil. But it's arrogant. She wasn't special among the Ancients, gifted with some unique wisdom. She was doing the best she could from her own perspective.

Plus... if half your population, and then another half again are about to sacrifice themselves... what have you got to lose by outing Hermes and/or trying to work with the Convocation to avert that loss of life? We don't have all the details, I'm willing to accept that there were circumstances that made it impossible, or at least made Venat decide against trying it. But even so. What did you have to lose leading up to the summoning of Zodiark? There was already panic and destruction at that point.

Hydaelyn sacrificed a lot of people to accomplish her goals. She made a goddess of herself and manipulated people like Minfilia on that basis. She killed so many children and stole so many lives even just by reincarnating Minfilia over and over on the First. She misrepresents the nature of the Ascians to the WoL, keeps secrets, and essentially charges you with being a crusader in her Holy War.

It's Emet- Selch who tries to bridge the gap. Not Hydaelyn. It's him who's willing to consider trying to achieve his goals without bloodshed, if you, the WoL, are strong enough. He says this to himself, out of anyone else's hearing. There's no reason for it to be a lie.

And just before Mt. Gulg, you can see Emet starting to question his beliefs about humanity because of the WoL's accomplishments. Hydaelyn has nothing to do with that. It's all you. And Emet succumbs to his own weaknesses too, so we never get to know what that might have happened if you'd had more time with him. He's not better than her.

But I think it's significant that he's the one who reaches out. Who's willing to consider a compromise at all.

In war you make sacrifices, I get that. But she was not more heroic, somehow, than the Ascians. Both sides were doing terrible things and denying the agency of mortals in order to achieve their ideal world.

So to me... she was not a benevolent incomprehensibly wise mother figure. Much like in real life we go from being kids who trust our moms implicitly, to adults who realize our mother was human and made mistakes, I think we’re supposed to recognize that Hydaelyn didn't do everything right and its our job to carry the future forward for subsequent generations, to learn from what came before, and hope that our own children do the same and forgive us for our own mistakes.

I think its very important to note that the WoL is just as much the Convocation's creation as Hydaelyn's. Without being rejoined as many times as they were, the WoL wouldn’t have survived. She saves you from the Ultima Weapon, Emet-Selch saves you from Elidibus, and its their powers combined that save you and your friends from the Endsinger. You are the legacy of each side’s imperfect love, equally.

WHICH brings me to my point of perplexion. Hydaelyn continues to be venerated. NPCs who know what happened continue to emphasize her side of things. I feel I must be missing something, because to me, the finale of Endwalker essentially shattered any idea that this was a Light vs Dark kind of story. People made choices. People made mistakes. It wasn't good or evil. It was human. We survived in spite of our mistakes because love was more powerful than our imperfections.

The Scions sacrificed themselves one by one just like the Ancients. And got brought back using energy from the Star... not all that different than what the Ascians had planned to do with their own brethren. I just don't see much functional difference there in the sentiments between either side.

I don't think we're supposed to hate Hydaelyn. I don't think she was evil. But I don't think she was better than the Ascians.

So while I don't expect, or want, characters to be condemning her left and right in the narrative, it's still baffling to me that there's such consistent, explicit reverence for her.

#ffxiv #ff14 #hydaelyn #venat #emet-selch #ascians #ancients #meta #shower thoughts #long post #endwalker spoilers #dark knight spoilers #shadowbringers spoilers #text

246 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 5 months

Note

Could you elaborate on that Orym-grief post? I find it interesting and I love ur character meta

Sure! The main thesis, is, well, the post: Orym has a healthy attitude towards his own grief and deals with it well, but isn't good at handling how the party feels. And, secondary to that, the fandom tends to flip this around in their perception of Orym.

Orym is very aware he is grieving and that this will be a life-long thing. He misses Will and Derrig very much and their absence is a hole in his life. He also has built a life around it. It's a process, certainly, but a process he trusts. He allows himself to feel his feelings (the gravesite sequence in Zephrah), but he also very much wants to live out his life (the feeling of failure when he died, his general enjoyment of things). He's a relatively subdued and quiet person, but he clearly finds a lot of joy in life.

The thing about grief is that it's a unique sort of pain, because there's really nothing to be done about it, and it is, typically, something that will always be there. The process is to find a way to live with that absence and make space for it while also making space for new things. It's an important lesson! It's also not how you should deal with other problems, because it's not really solution focused (or rather, the solution is "it is what it is, and it really hurts, and eventually, time will make it hurt somewhat less though it will flare up in specific situations.") For more on this: Caduceus covers very similar territory; his understanding of grief is incredibly strong, and his understanding of other problems often falters.

With grief, the answer for the living is ultimately "keep going," and that's the thing with Orym: he sure does keep going. But I think it leads him to push past things without stopping to unpack and solve them, because in his case (a guy with a great mother, a happy upbringing, a career he enjoyed, and a loving marriage, who then experienced a devastating loss) the answer really was "yeah, it really hurts that my husband and his father, who was essentially the only father figure I had, were senselessly murdered in an attack on my home. But let's put one foot in front of the other."

However, this is not actually great advice for much of Bells Hells. Several of them genuinely have conditions that lead to a complete loss of control and self that could harm or kill others, and they are at varying levels of dealing with it, potential to the peril of others. Orym notes that Fearne's impulses might put the party at risk, but he never does anything to address it other than say "hey, we need to work together." He even skirts around it himself! I think it's valid for him to approach Fearne to have a backup plan about Imogen potentially joining the Vanguard, but he says his piece and then goes and does that in private instead of fully hashing out why she'd say this in front of the people who were murdered by them, which means the root causes are never addressed. A lot of this party needs to be told both "hey, your feelings here are really valid and you should express your anger" and "hey, get your fucking shit together once you've done that." Orym tends to treat them either like they're grieving (a gentle "hey, we need to keep going, we need to get back"), or treat this like a group endeavor without delving into the individual.

I really suspect the reason we are having such a massive blow up right now is in part because this party has, for so long, been told "hey, your shit? It could ruin it for the rest of us, and we're a team," and Ashton very much went against this. I would not, frankly, be surprised if Imogen (for example) is angry not just only Ashton, but also generally, that she pushed down her stuff and maybe didn't make more efforts to contact her mother and work through that.

Essentially, Orym is really good at smoothing things over just enough to keep everything on task, but eventually, if the gear is broken, no amount of grease can keep it from jamming, and that's what just happened here with Ashton. This is what only repeated quick fixes and no preventative maintenance looks like.

(As for why the fandom thinks the opposite? I personally blame that most putrid - in several senses - belief, that conflict is always to be avoided, mixed in with a longstanding really toxic and genre/medium-ignorant attitude towards death and grieving. I think this goes hand and hand with the really pervasive attitude early on that Bells Hells were so open and honest instead of the truth: it was just a pleasant veneer.)

#answered #puffinator-0 #cr tag #orym #posts that are part of my grand theory of cast dynamics

96 notes · View notes

mirrorofliterature · 5 months

Note

don't get me started on the booker apologists who think that his being "queer" (because Greg Rucka said he's essentially bi and on the ace spectrum in a private discord chat, lol) absolves him of having a self-centered, amatonormative world-view.

the very fact that he thinks nicky and joe's queer romantic love shielded them from all other forms of loss/trauma/etc just reinforces the fact that his personal version of amatonormativity is not contingent on heteronormativity!! I don't know why people are choosing to be deliberately obtuse about this very valid point you made (other than woobifying an angsty white dude, as usual.)

I did stumble across that and I found the way people were treating that as canon very strange. I amended a post where I called Booker straight with this:

I am now aware that Greg Rucka has in a discord message confirmed Booker as queer. This is not canonical, however. It’s very not publicly available word of god. Until it is included in the next movie, it is not movie canon and I will continue to call him straight, because to the movie watching fan, that’s what he reads as.

It is even less canon than authors tweeting out that a character is x sexuality or confirming it in an interview - and I don't personally care that much what the author says outside the story. I find it very strange that people are weaponising booker's 'queerness' to absolve him of his sins. Like, queer people can be shitty, too.

I'm not sure why people are so desperate for him to be so when the film is chock-full of interesting and dynamic queer characters, but I digress. Just because Booker being bi and ace is Rucka's headcanon doesn't make it canon as it is not in the film - if it's your headcanon, that's cool, but Booker is not canonically queer. There is nothing that implies that he is bi or ace - I would have noticed, particularly the latter.

And you're completely right. Being queer does not prevent people from being amatonormative!

This is a really poignant ask. I think that what a lot of people disagreeing with my interpretation comes from is these people do not understand what amatonormativity is. It's not jealousy, it's devaluing all relationships outside of monogamous romantic relationships. It is implicit in Booker's words and is unlikely conscious on his part, but it comes out in this canonical line: 'you two always had each other!' Romantic relationships do not stop grief, or racism, or homophobia, or - millions of other horrible things nicky and joe have experienced.

All my posts really stemmed from a deep frustration at Booker's just absolutely selfish narrow tunnel vision - because Nicky and Joe lost their first families (their parents/siblings/nieces+nephews), experienced centuries of discrimination, AND lost quynh.

anyway booker's issues are not nicky and joe's responsibility - they have their own recovery to worry about.

#q&a #thanks for the ask!#the old guard #I hope that makes sense?#I am a very: if it's not in the film/book it is not canon it is the author's headcanon type of person #ex literature student here I have Done My Time #kaysanova #booker critical #amatonormativity #meta #my meta

37 notes · View notes

tinylantern · 5 months

Text

It's interesting how some of the criticisms I've seen over on r/runefactory concerning RF4's writing--specifically those surrounding Act 3--are serving as inspiration for a potential AU to explore in fanart (and maybe fanfiction as well, if I ever get around to it.)

So, you know, even as someone who adores Rune Factory 4's cast of characters and the individual character arcs everyone goes through, I am not without my criticisms of the writing. One thing I am definitely not a fan of is the fact that all three acts of the main story are essentially "save Ventuswill: Parts 1, 2, and 3." It's not that "save the Divine Dragon" is a bad plot to have, but that it never really switches up the formula enough to keep it consistently interesting across the length of RF4's story. You can easily describe the three acts of RF4's story as "Ventuswill is secretly dying! You must save her! Oh, now she's dying again! Get the Rune Spheres back from Ethelberd and save her! Surprise! She's not actually dead! Let's save her for real this time!" And because of that lack of variation, the most interesting aspects of Act 2 and Act 3, at least for me, are not saving Ventuswill, but the stuff that happens with the other characters who are involved in the plot. Arthur, who cites frequently in his dialogue how much he dislikes having been born a prince, utilizes the resources he has at his disposal to get Selphia the support it needs from the capital because as much as he may complain about his position, he knows he has a responsibility as a member of Norad's royal family and the true prince who was supposed to run Selphia. Doug, who was revealed earlier in Act 1 to actually be a spy for the Sechs with a personal vendetta against Ventuswill, feels immense guilt for having believed in a lie that ultimately hurt the people he cares about, and he actively seeks to redeem himself to the point of getting injured multiple times across Act 2. And during Act 3, we finally learn that Frey/Lest is a surviving descendant of the Earthmates who have spent literal centuries trying to find a solution to the runes in the land dying out so that Ventuswill will no longer have to rely on the sacrifices of the Guardians in order to live.

However, a post by u/KamenRiderSekai, who I believe goes by @avenger-concerto here, highlights that Act 3 does, to an extent, potentially ruin the narrative themes of Rune Factory 4's story. Even as someone who generally prefers happy endings to sad or bittersweet ones (hell, the whole reason I originally bought Rune Factory 4 Special was because I needed a more lighthearted game after the literal rain of depression that was Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights), Act 3 does feel very... out of place. A lot of RF4's themes revolve around those of loss, grief, loneliness, and self-isolation, and how you need to make the most of the time you have with those you love instead of shoving them away because life is so short. Although it was upsetting to see Ventuswill die at the end of the Act 2 despite all the crap Lest/Frey went through trying to save her, it feels... fitting, especially since Frey/Lest's ending narration solidifies that although they and the rest of the town were in mourning for some time, they resolved to move forward with their lives because all Ventuswill wanted was a bright future for her friends and for Selphia, and she was absolutely tired of people sacrificing themselves for her sake.

But Act 3 comes along and you learn that Oh, not only was Ventuswill not ready to go just yet, but we still have a chance to save Ventuswill despite the fact that she's literally dead. I get that although it has its "dark" moments, Rune Factory is overall a fairly lighthearted series, but it just seems very shoehorned in for the sake of giving players a happy ending where Ventuswill is alive and well. And when you do complete Rune Prana and save Ventuswill, there is so very little fanfare to the point that there isn't even a credits roll like the first two acts; all you get is a commemorative illustration featuring Ventuswill in her human form down in the trophy room. It makes Act 3 almost feel like one big afterthought despite the important lore it contains, especially in regards to Frey/Lest.

With all that said, KamenRiderSekai did briefly bring up an interesting, alternate concept for Act 3, one that has been gnawing at my brain off and on again since I originally first read it. Taken directly from the original reddit thread:

"A more apt arc would have been maybe the birth or succession of a new "Ventuswill", which is something I've always thought of as an alternative for years on end."

This makes so much more sense to me on so many levels. First off: Ventuswill does state during Act 1 that, when she expires, the runes her body gives off will be enough to sustain the land for another 1000 years, during which a new Native Wind Dragon will be born to play their role as she did. A new "Ventuswill" being born, possibly as a result of the influences of the Rune Spheres as well as whatever efforts the protagonist and the Guardians put in, would 100% make sense from a lore standpoint. However, it also makes sense from a thematic standpoint in regards to the franchise as a whole.

A major theme prevalent in the Rune Factory series is the cycle of life, death and rebirth. In almost every game, the protagonist loses their memories, resulting in the "death" of their past self. They wake up in a new town that takes them in, where they create a new life for themselves; eventually, they fall in love with someone, get married, and start a family with their spouse. This lines up so well with the idea that even though the old Ventuswill is gone, she is not forgotten and her spirit will live on in the new Wind Dragon who will one day guide and protect the land like their predecessor.

If I were to make this into a full blown AU, there are other things I would like to explore as well. I highlighted in a post from August about how Arthur's Another Episode reveals that Selphia's relationship with the royal family is complicated because it is not actually ruled by the king, but by Ventuswill herself, and that her death should have had more implications in terms of Selphia's political status as well as in regards to Frey/Lest and Arthur's switch... which it doesn't because a major point of RF4's gameplay is that you're in charge of Selphia and even Arthur returning to his position briefly during Act 2 doesn't affect your ability to manage the town through the Order Symbol.

There is also the matter of the Guardians; although they willingly allowed themselves to have the Etherlink spell cast on them because they wanted to save Ventuswill, all four of them had lives prior to their centuries-long slumber and with her death, it seemingly renders the sacrifices they made pointless. So, you know, there is an incredibly great potential for angst as well as character development if this becomes a "Okay, we failed to save Ventuswill, but we can speedrun the birth of the new Ventuswill" plot.

I'm sorry for the massive ramble. It is just strangely satisfying knowing that some genuinely valid criticisms of a game I adore have the potential to result in some incredibly tasty fanwork scenarios.

#rune factory #rune factory 4 #rf4 #rf4 ventuswill #spoilers

24 notes · View notes

raspbeyes · 1 year

Text

A bit more of a revised opinion on David lol

I did my intial thoughts post a while back but kinda realized that my initial impression was so different than how i see david now.

i pretty sure this has already been said, but yeah David's reveal is not really a reveal of true character but rather feels more like a breakdown in who he is

Now yeah, he definetely has got a flair for the dramatics but honestly, i think it makes sense why david would want to play up his cynical viewpoint to a cartoonish level like we see. But for all of his life, he's been playing a role that it seems he does not believe he actually deserves (as his hidden quote may allude to deep self hatred), so for once, david is truly acting out how he believes he really is

essentially, the reveal was not him being a liar, it was a reveal of how he believes himself to be a liar.

Not to mention ... and maybe this is that same denial i was saying before ep 11 that maybe david has the hopeless child secret but ... his motivation just doesn't add up to me.

His "mask" initially slipped in the prologue where he spoke about wanting to be in bed and not deal with people or wanting to come to hope's peak. Idk about u but that just feels like just being an introvert. Maybe a bit of a bitchy introvert lol but nothing that is a manipulative liar who wants to watch everyone kill each other for ... uhh ... shits and giggles???? I truly feel he is acting the part that his secret is.

So what exactly is his secret referring to as manipulative?? I think i agree with hu when i said its phrasing (For example, arturo does not seem as heartless as his secret ambiguously makes it seem, clearly very affected rather than how the secret implies callousness). I think the secret is really just referring to what his talent is. It is what we all guessed initially: He manipulates people, aka "inspires" them. He may just have the ability to manipulate using his words, but he has so far put that to good use.

But i think david never sees it that way. I recall seeing a few posts commenting how david must feel guilt/grief over the death of xander and arei, since he had gotten close to the both of them before their death. And i think that guilt is being amplified with arei's death:

A lot of people point to David's slip in ep 10 as either a sign of him being a good person or a bad person, as his way of talking can be interpreted as either.

(To recap, those who claim this proves this shows his truly good nature point out that he is truly upset abt the death of arei and he is showing his true distaste for the killer, something he wouldn't have said if he had wanted arei to die and didnt care for her like he said in ep 11. However others can mention how david speaks abt how she was in such a vulnerable state to be killed and his creepy smiling sprite sure doesnt help)

Personally i am leaning on the redeeming side, as i think david feels that arei's death proves why he's such a manipulator. We now know of the conversation (or really only a part of it judging by how arei is never answered) was likely when David first learned of his secret about him being a manipulator. David is completely silent, shuddering and unresponsive. I think that he may have at first viewed Arei as his usual routine of lifting someone up, but when we see arei actually hug him, he is caught off guard. And once he hears arei herself saying she really wanted to change for the better, david may have felt he did one good thing. Only then, arei reveals her knowledge of his secret and David is at a loss. Now, the one person who could have been helped by him now realizes his words are as hollow as he believes. So when arei begs david to respond, he cant seem to muster any words.

So when we see how he talks in ch 10, it is his own guilt and anger at himself combined with his grief to arei's death all muddied together. He had been able to help someone, but its because arei had put herself out there - a positive change he triggered - and got herself killed, david blames himself. After all, he can use people however he wants. So if they become worse off, he believes he is the reason behind it.

personally i want a more redeemable version of david since i just dont believe his supposed motivations. they just dont add up!!! moreover, with it being obvious he is not the killer, david has to now live with a supposed chapter 3 with everyone well aware of his "real" personality, so i wonder how david would feel about now actually being treated like a villain rather than a good person like he has for most his life. It might force him to realize that he might actually not be as bad as he thought he was, so maybe he'll slowly try to work up good faith with the group??? I think David has been trapped between two extremes: His morally good outward persona, and his self hatred making him believe he is irredeamable. So maybe david's development is him learning to gain a more nuanced look at himself :)

Or maybe he'll just die in chapter 3 lol and have an unresolved arc :'))

#danganronpa despair time #despair time #david chiem #drdt david #drdt spoilers #drdt

101 notes · View notes

dameronology · 2 years

Text

angel eyes (obi-wan)

summary: after order 66, obi-wan kenobi tried his very best to move on from you. it would be a shame if you were to ruin that. (obviously based on the abba song) - 2.8k words

warnings: language, kind of emotional infedelity?? and also angst. no kenobi spoilers tho.

it's 4.11am and i have been writing this for six hours. and truth be told i think i could do more with it but even more truther be tolder i am too sleep deprived to argue with myself. enjoy.

-jazz

Your relationship with Obi-Wan Kenobi had died with the Jedi Order.

The end of your relationship had been beautifully in sync with the start of your relationship, in the sense that it had been out of necessity and a little for your own soundness of mind. It was clear from the start that Kenobi was essential in your life if you wanted to stay sane. He was grounded and smart, which was a beautiful contrast to your haywire, rebellious ways. So you became friends. And then you found that being friends wasn't really an option, because you loved him and couldn't really live without him. You hadn't expected to find the love of your life in the very place that forbade such a thing, but you would come to learn that the universe wasn't really fair. Still though, it hadn't felt completely and entirely cruel when Obi-Wan affirmed that he felt the same way about you. Thus, triggering the beginning of the most intensely passionate and beautiful five years of your life.

Obi-Wan wasn't a man who did things by halves. In fact, he did them tenfold or he didn't do them at all. That meant that he absolutely carried you through the worst of times and the best of times. He made you feel things you hadn't thought possible: like heaven was right there in the Jedi Temple. Sneaking around and lying to the Council got a little difficult at times, but all it took was one look at him and you knew in your soul that it was worth it. All those whispered conversations of leaving the Order together and having a future, a real future, were the only thing that got you through the war. They'd been nothing but a fantasy at the time.

You still remembered how it felt to see him after Order 66. The comms systems had fallen completely and you had no clue if he was alive. It was too hard to concentrate and reach out over the Force. Those hours had been gruelling.

You'd seen Obi-Wan for the first time aboard Bail Organa's ship. You'd never seen him move so quickly; he took you up in his arms, pulled you into chest and just held you for a moment. Neither of you said anything. Neither of you had to. Amongst the grief and loss, you felt a sense of relief. It was hard to say you'd lost everything when you still had him.

At least you thought. Because by that point, it was beyond dangerous for two Jedi to stay together. There was a galaxy wide manhunt for every remaining knight but especially Obi-Wan. His leading part in this entire thing basically put a target on his back and that was enough danger for one person, let alone two. The Empire would have struck gold if they found you together.

Your only option - and the only way to survive - was to go your separate ways. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Mostly because a small part of you had hoped that those silly fantasies about a future together might finally pay off now that the Order was gone. But, like I said: the universe was cruel. Far crueller than you ever expected it to be.

The only thing that kept you going after your separation was his promise to you.

"I'll never love anyone the way I love you."

Obi-Wan was to go to Tatooine and you were to go Alderaan. Your names would be wiped from the records; you'd be given new identities, new stories, new everything. You owed Bail Organa your life for offering to help you out.

Saying goodbye hurt you in a way you couldn't quite explain. The first few weeks without him were even worst: you could no longer reach out to him when your nightmares sank in during the late hours. There were no blue eyes to open up to; no-one to say sweetheart, don't be stupid every time you were about to make an irrational decision. It was like you were two parts of a whole and now Obi-Wan was gone, the logical part of your mind had gone completely.

Maybe that was why you fell into bounty hunting. The danger and adrenaline wasn't that far off from your days as a Jedi. It paid well and no-one hunting the Jedi would ever think to look in the dingy bars and cantinas of downtown Alderaan. It worked in a way you hadn't expected. Not enough to make you feel as whole as you had at the Temple with Obi-Wan, but just enough so that you could feel yourself moving on.

Obi-Wan's words rung through your brain every night for the next five years. I'll never love anyone the way I love you.

Time passed and you had flings here and there; a few dates that a mutual friend set you up, a brief dalliance with a fellow bounty hunter, yada, yada, yada. None it counted for anything. It was all a desperate attempt to find a connection again. There came a point where it felt like your ability to love another person lived and died with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Five years after the fall of the Galactic Republic, you took a job in Tatooine. There was a complete disconnect in your mind between the desert planet and Obi-Wan living there. Hell, you didn't know if he was still there. You didn't even know if he was still alive. It had been a good two years since you’d had any updates from him. The Organas had made a point of updating you at first, but that had faded along with your contact with them. Reminders of your former life weren’t what you needed anymore.

Tatooine was dry. It was dusty and it was sandy and it was fucking dry. There was no guarantee that the quarry you were after was even there. Mos Eisley wasn’t exactly a small spaceport; it was packed with different shops and stalls and clustered with people. That made it the least ideal place to try and hunt someone down.

You elbowed your way through the crowds in the main square, eyes peeled for the quarry. Your hood was up around your head - half to protect you from the sun, but also half to hide your face. There had been whispers over the last few weeks of an Empire presence here. Even though Jabba the Hutt apparently ruled the place, it wasn’t completely unheard of for the Imps to be sniffing around everywhere.

Hooking a right, you turned the corner from the main square and into one of the smaller streets. You almost instantly collided with a girl; you let out an oof! as you fell on your ass, a cloud of dust evaporating around your form as you hit the ground. She took a step back and held out her hand.

“I am so sorry!” she exclaimed.

“No, it’s my fault-”

“- oh, darling. Are you running into people again?”

You froze. You actually fucking froze. That was a voice you would have recognised anywhere - even more so because he’d said that phrase to you a thousand times before. It was always oh darling, are you running into people again? or how did you not see the wall, my love? or just…something about how fucking clumsy you were. Obi-Wan had found it endearing.

You heard his voice and then his face came into view. He didn’t look that different - his hair was a little longer and his beard more jagged, but his blue eyes caught yours and immediately you knew it was Obi-Wan Kenobi. Undeniable and in the flesh. Calling another person sweetheart. He took a step towards her and put an arm on her waist, hand resting on her hip. That was how he used to hold you. Fucking ouch.

He hadn’t noticed you. Not yet.

“Oh hush, Ben,” she smiled, and then looked back at you. “I am genuinely sorry. You’re not hurt, are you?”

Not physically. Haha.

“No, not at all,” you cleared your throat.

Obi-Wan glanced from the girl and towards you - then you shared the same look. It was like seeing a ghost from his past. Actually, you were a ghost from his past. He’d tried so hard for so long to shove you to the back of his mind and move on. It was only in the last few years that he’d succeeded. He should have known that you were going to turn up out of nowhere and blow everything apart. You’d done it once before. Why not again?

He didn’t know what to say. That was ironic, because he’d spent hours laying awake at night thinking about the speech he would give you if you ever turned up again. It was gone now. And so it seemed had his ability to speak.

Neither of you knew how to play it. Did you pretend you were strangers, for the sake of the girl in front of you? The girl, who in your opinion, looked at him a little too much like you used to. With some kind of admiration and hope. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi hung the stars in the sky and wrote out the constellations just for you. To her, it seemed he was Ben. You didn’t who the fuck Ben was. Moreso, you didn’t know who the fuck this girl was.

“Ben, is it?” you asked. Okay, you were going with playing dumb. “Are you guys locals?”

“I am!” the girl piped up. “Born and raised, sadly. Ben here moved to the port a few years ago. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“I’m…here on business,” you trailed off. “I’m just looking for a hotel, actually. It’s getting dark and I don’t fancy staying on my ship all night. If you guys could just give me directions, I’ll be on my way and-”

You didn’t want to be on your way. You had a thousand questions to ask; some about Kenobi, some about the relationship he seemingly had with this girl. Neither of those things were your business. Your relationship with him had ended half a decade ago. It was just that promise of I’ll never love anyone like I love you that rang through your head. It would have been easier to believe he didn’t look at her the same fucking way he once looked at you.

“The hotels here are extortionate,” she said. “Ben has a spare room. He’s always letting travellers crash there. I’m sure he won’t mind if you stay the night.”

Spoiler alert: he did mind. And you minded too. You minded even more than his name was seemingly Ben now. You knew it mostly for safety, so that the Imps couldn’t find him, but he was always Obi-Wan in your mind. Nothing would ever change that.

“It’s okay,” you insisted. “I really don’t mind paying. Besides, I’m just a stranger and-”

“- nonsense!” she cut you off. “You don’t seem like an axe murderer.”

To Obi-Wan, you were arguably much worse than an axe murderer.

“Uh,” he stuttered. He couldn’t say no - the girl clearly had him wrapped around her finger. “I don’t see why not.”

You gave him a look that said think, Kenobi. Think of a single fucking reason.

Still, he had nothing.

“Great,” you murmured.

The girl leant down and picked up the bags that you’d dropped earlier. She was nice. Too nice. Not only did that make it harder to dislike her, but it made you think that things between them must have been boring. Your entire relationship with Obi-Wan had been built on the fact that you were chaotic as fuck and he was the calm one. You’d ruined his life in the best way.

—

You spent the rest of the afternoon traipsing after the couple through the Mos Eisley markets. They were together - you could decipher that much. The girl seemed grabbier than him but you couldn’t decipher if it was always that way, or if Obi-Wan was just playing it down because you were there.

It killed both of you not being able to talk about the things you needed, or to say the things you needed to. There was so much unspoken tension in the air and it was a surprise that his lover hadn’t picked up on it. She seemed completely clueless, from the minute she invited you to stay in his spare room, to the minute she kissed him goodbye and retired back to her own house for the night.

That left you and Kenobi in his converted cave, sat in silence until the door slammed shut and you both jumped into action. Naturally, you were the first to speak.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“I could ask you the same,” Obi-Wan shot back. “What are you doing here?”

“I wasn’t lying earlier when I said I was on business,” you said. “I followed a bounty here. I didn’t expect to run into you. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if you were alive.”

“I am - just about,” he murmured. “I could say the same for you.”

“I wouldn’t call this just about,” you replied, glancing around. “Obi-Wan, who is Ben?”

“Ben is the name I took upon arriving here,” he explained. “Obi-Wan Kenobi is no more. He’s dead. He had to die.”

“He’s not dead,” you shook your head. “I’m looking right at him, aren’t I?”

“Not quite.”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” you scoffed. “I recognised you straight away. I can see it in your eyes - the way you look around when you think you see danger, that inquisitive glance towards the crowds, the way you hold yourself. You can change your name all you want but nothing will change the fact that you are Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“You haven’t changed one bit.”

“You have, though,” you muttered. “With your new house, and job, and girlfriend-”

“- don’t be like that,” Obi-Wan cut you off. “I had to make a life for myself here. I didn’t know what I’d see you again-”

“- I’m not being like anything,” you rolled your eyes. “I just…do you remember that last promise you made to me before we broke up?”

He nodded. “Clear as day. I promised you that I would never love someone as much as I love you - and I’ve kept that promise.”

“I don’t think you have,” you shook your head. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. You love her. I’m not fucking blind.”

Obi-Wan stood up and crossed the room to where you were standing. It felt weird to be near you again. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug you; it’s what he’d been craving for yours. Not just someone’s touch, but your touch. You’d been a pillar in his life and now that you were gone, he’d felt everything crumbling down to the very core.

“Maybe some part of me was just hoping that you’d wait for me,” you murmured. “I know it’s ridiculous. I just think that you might be the very best thing that ever happened to me and even when you’re gone, I’m still foolish enough to cling onto hope.”

“It was circumstantial,” he began. “She lives three doors down. We met and we got on and it made sense for us to start dating. You can see that my life here is a little lacklustre. I thought it might bring excitement.”

“Did it?”

Obi shook his head. “Not in the slightest. She’s nice but she doesn’t get me the way you did. I don’t think anyone ever will - so I might look at her with affection but I can assure you that I will never love anyone the way I love you.”

Love. In the present tense. Not the past. The Jedi were in the past. The Republic was in the past. Everything was in the past. But seemingly, not his love for you, nor your love for him. It might have been dormant for a while but it was bright as day now you were together.

“I’ve spent the last five years chasing a feeling that I can only get with you,” he continued. “Whatever mixture of stress, excitement and terror that may be.”

“Me too,” you said. “Moving on is hard.”

“It is insufferable,” Obi-Wan replied. He took your hands, thumbs ghosting over the back of your palm. “But you have to understand, my love, that moving on is sometimes not a choice so much it is a necessity.”

“I know,” you murmured. “It’s still not safe for us to be together, is it?”

“It’s not,” he confirmed. “And even if it was, what we had is no more. I will undoubtedly take your love with me into the future but our relationship belongs in the past.”

“Right,” you nodded. “Right person, wrong time, I guess.”

“No, not at all - you’re the right person. All the time.”

tags: @hellotherekenobi @frampuccino @currentlysobbingtofortiesmusic

378 notes · View notes

amyzaaiman-blog · 3 months

Text

On Grief & The Hard Time That People Are Giving Jackie Howard:

I just have to say that I lost my mom 3 years ago & have no relationship with my father, so I'm essentially an orphan. I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but everyone grieves differently. You don't know how you're going to respond until you're in that situation, so don't judge so hastily. My mom was the closest person in the world to me (besides my husband, who has been an amazing support) & losing her turned me into a complete mess. I didn't leave the house for about a year (that's not an exaggeration), I picked up about 17kgs and then proceeded to vomit everyday for the next year and lost all of the weight again. My hair fell out in clumps. I couldn't sleep. My period stopped for about 1.5 years. I did things I would NEVER have done beforehand, such as seeking escapism like smoking weed everyday. I couldn't function properly or work. I had permanent brain fog. Other people have different ways of responding to this type of situation. I was in such a confused, repressed haze for so long that I only feel as if I'm properly processing her passing now. For the first time in 3 years, I'm finally experiencing anger (which is one of the key phases of bereavement). You just never know.

If you read the book, it's clear that Jackie initially does have a very intense, emotional response after her family dies - she falls apart. She doesn't get out of bed for like a month. Then, one day, as a way of distracting herself & making her family proud, she gets out of bed & focuses solely on getting into Princeton. While they don't show all of this backstory in the show, it's very obvious to me that she's bottling up all of her emotions. Her worst nightmare is to be pitied. And honestly, as she says in the show, no one knows what to say to you in such circumstances. Everything sounds awkward/disingenuous/well-meaning but misplaced/alienating.

I'm really not surprised that she shies away from the deep connection that she has with Cole (who, let's be honest, is a fuckboy at the beginning of the show but who she clearly has a unique & immediate attachment to). She's so vulnerable that she latches onto the "safe" brother who makes her feel relatively normal again. He offers comfort & stability, which is exactly what you need when you feel lost, alone & untethered. She can't afford to be hurt again & that's what Cole represents/threatens - especially because of the way he treats other girls. When Cole asks her why she's with Alex, she doesn't say it's because she likes Alex more, but rather cites Cole's behaviour towards other women.

These boys are also forms of distraction from her grief. And to add to the mix, she's only 15 years old. What hormonal teenager hasn't been confused or made stupid, rash decisions that they regret? I'm 33 years old and I'm still making mistakes and cringing from things I said & did a month ago, a day ago, an hour ago. It's really obvious that her attraction to Cole continues percolating throughout the show until he does something so meaningful/thoughtful that she can't ignore her feelings any longer. And what he does for her is especially touching because it's so inherently related to her loss & the absence of her family. Throughout the show, Cole is the only one she really opens up to about her family; how much she misses them & her home. He understands her in a way that others don't because she won't let them in in the same way. He truly sees her. They challenge each other. And while these are beautiful parts about falling in love, they can also be extremely frightening because there's nowhere to hide.

I don't even blame the parents for not noticing what is truly going on (although I think Katherine has an idea). Teenagers are renowned for being secretive (not to mention that the adults are also dealing with much of their own stress). I actually really like the scenes that she has with Katherine. I think that they have an understanding. Katherine is still getting to know Jackie & there's no way that she'll ever come close to replacing her mother. It just doesn't work like that. People aren't interchangeable.

It's also important to note that Jackie's whole shtick & manner of coping is to have a veneer of being "fine". I think that she's worried that if she shatters the illusion, she'll just fall apart again. She's barely holding it together. Particularly at the start of the show, she's just going through the motions & existing. The messy but loving (albeit not in the very, very beginning) environment of the Walter household is what's keeping her afloat. By the end (she even says this), she finally feels like she belongs. She has meaningful relationships with the whole Walter family & extended clan, & the reason that she leaves is because she knows how royally she's fucked up. She's overwhelmed & scared - fearful of her own roiling emotions & how she's exacerbated the rift between Alex & Cole.

Yes, you could call her hypocritical because Cole "stealing" Paige (She's not an object, so let's check that language. She is a person & has agency) is one of the main things that Jackie repeatedly holds against him (& uses as an excuse for keeping him at a distance). But she definitely realises this, which is why she runs away. She knows that she's acted against her own morals.

This is a very long post, but my ultimate point is that people should have a little more compassion. Grief is not a linear process & life is not simply black & white - there are vast shades of grey in between. People can make "bad" choices & redeem themselves. Are we meant to define people by one ill-thought-out/passion-based/heat-of-the-moment decision that they made as a teenager when they were severely traumatised? I think that forgiveness is a better option & that people should be allowed to grow, change & learn from their mistakes. Season 2 is still on its way, remember?

#my life with the walter boys #mlwtwb #jackie howard #jackiecole #cole walter #nikki rodriguez #noah lalonde #grief #dealing with grief

12 notes · View notes

yanderecandystore · 9 months

Note

I was reading about Azir and MC who either given up or not playing his games. With Azir being controlling, I thought about something. What if there is something that Azir can't control, like death? Because what if he made one scenario with MC who has given up that causes them great harm or worse death. Either MC is still young and doing shit, or maybe they are old that inevitability of death is near.

Stress is sometimes good, but too much is bad and may cause some.... Unfortunate accident. :)

Be mild, Azir

In today's episode of Choco not knowing how to goddamn read: Another request where I fixate on only ONE aspect of a request! Hwrqefjegjq I'm so sorry boo ;-;

I just realized something… he isn't a player… he is a craftsman 💀 he spends too much time taking pieces of different planets and realms to make into snow globes… I don't know why I named him a player lmao

I decided to be mean and make Azir's life worse by shoving another person to take care of you.

TW/Tags: mentions of reincarnation; death; complete obviousness/disregard for human life // the depiction of the afterlife is vague and based on nothing that I'm aware of(?); Subconsciously, it could be based on something that I don't remember // Multiple reader deaths (someone keeps killing you)

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Guardian Angel [Yandere!Eldritch!OC x GN!Reader - Headcanon]:

Oh Azir, how I missed playing with you just like how you miss playing with your darling-

I think he never really bothered with getting humans back from the dead, especially since they just tend to be born again. They always go back to Earth, of course, so he never bothered searching for specific people to put back in his little games.

But an essential character like you can't be easily replaced and you have too much potential to be forgotten by the universe like that- So, he would absolutely violate your natural born right to have a peaceful eternal rest.

What? It's not unheard of for entities to simply revive their favorites, although his brethren aren't really allowed to do that, he simply wishes to continue the plot you were previously following.

Which one? Well, all of them. All of them in their right times. Think of it as resetting a game and starting all over, but the mechanics slightly shift through every playthrough.

You're the same you as you always will be, maybe with a different appearance, a different mentality molded by the variety of environments and backgrounds he can put you on- Oh, but you're just his favorite actor in each of them! How is he NOT expected to bring your soul back regardless of the trials and errors?

The first time you died was the only time he slightly felt, well, worried? It wasn't exactly guilt nor grief, but it was something like a sense of emptiness especially if it was his fault… Making you overly stressed, be it at a young reckless age or at your last moments standing- He probably wouldn't feel your loss in the same way mortals do.

His favorite toy broke, his game feels incomplete without it, and although reanimating your body was quite easy… hm… pretending to be you was fun at first but it lacked the spark of something natural and random.

He liked to be in control of everything, yes, sometimes watching but most of the time finding ways to implement himself in the lives of others- He didn't want to pretend to be you forever though, nor did he like the idea of using your inactive body as a skin puppet, the flesh was a fun but not so intriguing part of the mortal experience.

He needed to find your soul, wherever it was. Searching the different realms for it was easy, and quite boring actually, but getting you to come back was something else.

He wasn't really allowed here. None of his kind was, they were powerful and followed no "rules" but had some limitations when it came to the simple task of bringing someone back from the dead. It's not like they couldn't do it, it's that they shouldn't.

Would he really taint the afterlife forever and snatch you away just to keep himself entertained for longer? Yeah, yeah he would.

In the mix of different voices, a colorful sea of different souls collectively sleeping and awaiting their return, one of them screamed while being forcefully dragged back to their already rotting corpse.

Ah dear… A rotting corpse isn't suited for souls to stay in, although you looked adorable as a living-dead variant of yourself, you didn't seem to be cooperating with the vision he originally had in mind.

His first experiment to bring you back was a failure, as your body was no longer suited for a soul- But with just a few adjustments he got to bring you back with your same appearance and memories intact! Your body was healthy again, aren't you glad to be back?

… Ugh… Why can't you stop complaining to him about your death? People die all the time, shouldn't you be glad he brought you back from that boring afterlife?

Sleeping peacefully for eternity sounds absolutely tedious, he can't imagine why anyone would consider it a good choice to spend their time.

Considering no normal person would feel good about being brought back to life by their killer (directly or not) especially knowing this person has the power to keep you bound to them forever, it is understandable that you would be quite pissed about it.

So maybe keeping your memories wasn't a good idea, but he knew a quick way to fix it.

As long as you belong to his simulations, living inside them you're not going to go anywhere else, dead or alive… He "could" try to take a piece of the afterlife and shove it in a snowglobe, but truly, that's something that he doesn't have any control over.

It was too tricky to try to trap it there, whenever he would come back the globe would be empty. It doesn't matter what arcane dark magic he uses, he can't ever keep that "terrain" fixated in one location.

But, he could maybe make his own..? Oh, wouldn't that be lovely? Instead of having to constantly take you back by force, he can just make a self-sufficient system of afterlife and reincarnation, he could make it so there was no other choice than to keep the cycle going as much as he could!

Or he could make something special for you for once, how would you like a smaller snow globe just for you? Every fantasy your heart desired could be real if you just behave a little more.

Ah but there was also one small thing he didn't really consider… So, remember how he isn't welcome in the afterlife? Yeah, he is also not "allowed" to take a soul and force it back to the realm of the living, especially not a soul that is screaming and begging to be left alone already.

Someone is responsible to keep these souls intact, perhaps there are multiples like this entity- But only he came to fix the job.

Think of it this way, you have a being that is almost like a guardian angel, with a grim reaper mentality that keeps chasing your soul to bring you back to the afterlife (the correct version of it). And on the other hand you have Azir, a being that keeps bringing you back and who although "lacks authority" over your little "angel", won't ever back down about doing what he wants whenever he wants.

And then there's you, being brought back for a certain period of time, perhaps decades in your lifetime before having to die again and again by a safekeeper of souls. One wants to play with you like a toy and the other sees you as some sort of sheep that got lost from the herd.

If there's Hell, I would bet you it's more pleasant than this existence. Hah, wouldn't it be hilarious if you got them both to fall for you? Hah, as if that would happen.

I like to imagine your little "guardian angel" and Azir have to be passive aggressive when interacting- As any small fight could lead to a war between realms and let's be honest, the ones getting the short end of the stick here would be you and all of the mortals of every other planet and realm.

Everyone is fucked except the ones that can withstand the existence after existence itself has imploded, and no one really wants to see the age of nothingness and darkness return, life as fragile as it is, brings light to those that don't understand it's real value- But miss it dearly when it's gone.

What I mean is that congratulations, I'm giving you another mythical boyfriend who will try to restore order to your peaceful afterlife while the other one keeps bringing you back out of spite at this point.

It's not just about you, it's also because he is well aware that shiny looking asshole is probably spending time with you in that calm, "wonderful" place that only hosts exclusively mortal souls.

Well… But now that I think about it, technically this whole process of reincarnation is technically working inside the laws of the universe. You are born, you live, you die, you get sent to the other side and then get reborn again. It is also sort of very beneficial for both parties despite their mutual hatred towards one another.

You really need to find a cosmic lawyer or something like that though, this work practice is really unethical since you're very much aware of why and who keeps you inside this vicious cycle, it's hard to live a life you're constantly getting reminded of your previous one.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

I just wanted to draw the three bois in human disguise, Diph being angry at Azir for being reckless and getting unwanted attention from an "angel" (and also for letting the human die like that, like bro, you have so much power yet you did nothing?).

And then reader have to deal with this bs.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#choco stuff #yandere oc #yandere x reader #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request #yandere eldritch x reader #yandere eldritch #yandere eldritch oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc drawing #ibu's wife took care of his hair for once #also sorry but I made Azir's hair flare up because I thought it reminded me of a peacock tail XD #I'm so sorry for making you wait;-;#I go through phases like the fuckin moon

21 notes · View notes

stay-funky-ponyboy · 10 months

Text

OK so Bor'dor and Orym are basically foils though, yeah?

Both have a connection to the wildmother, maybe a distant one at best.

Through this connection, due to certain circumstances, Bor'dor joined the group of people who took away Orym's family. They talked about it in a tree. Bor'dor, who likely reminded of him of Will and maybe even Dorian in his awkwardly charming ways. He was a friend to lean on. Bor'dor wanted revenge on Orym and co for essentially killing his friends. But the only reason that happened is because BH were trying to stop Ludinus. And so a cycle begins.

Both appear unassuming, but are hiding a lot more. Two sides of the same coin.

On that note, also trying to appear as 'lesser' so they don't have to talk about their emotions. Or their past, not the dark parts. A simpler life.

Both have experienced huge loss.

Both have daggers. Have blades that mean something to them. One short, one long.

Both believe that what they are doing is the right thing.

Really, they are just trying to live their lives again.

Bor'dor was from the Managerie Coast, a place commonly associated with water, while Orym is from Zephrah, a place commonly associated with air. Water and air can sometimes be opposites. Sky and ocean.

Both have traveled to several different continents now. Not necessarily because they wanted to.

Something something, searching for a reason to keep going and then you find one, but you're way past the point of return for your former self. Grief is always present, always changing you.

Both feel way out of their depth. For completely different reasons.

And to think, Bor'dor's death is what may have finally snapped the last thread of Orym's self control.

#critical role #cr spoilers #i might have jokingly shipped them a little bit and with this recent ep well the dynamics have changed a LOT #if they had hooked up that would have been something huh.

27 notes · View notes

yui-kuromori · 2 years

Text

There’s one episode in season 1 of AiB that I feel like I haven’t given the attention it deserved in my past analysis: Episode 4, the one that contains the game “Distance”.

Now, here’s one thing that I feel is really important when discussing this episode. The game “Distance” is a complete different thing in the manga. It’s arguably the most different episode when considering its manga counterpart. In the original story, this game is a “side story” meaning that no one from the main cast was a part of it. In other words, Arisu and Usagi never played this game.

Meaning that the entire narrative and subtext from episode 4 is basically show written, taking very few key points from the original source material.

Now, here’s what I think is really beautifully done here.

In the original, when Usagi meets Arisu, she, like in the show, asks him if he “wants to live.” Unlike in the show, Manga Arisu begins to angrily cry before yelling out that yes, he does want to live. Usagi, moved by his resolve and seeing in him herself after her father’s loss, agrees to his wish to keep going and nurses him back to health. Soon after they are taken in by the beach.

This show vs. manga deviation shifts some very core aspects of both Arisu and Usagi’s characters. More plainly by essentially shifting Usagi from a passive force to an active one. In the show, it’s her own decision to drag Arisu from the rain, her decision to drag him to a game. Essentially, her resolve is what inspires him. She saves him, and not the other way around.

Now, the second part of the episode, the game in itself is a beautifully written mini arc to basically get Arisu back on his feet after the 7 of hearts. As much as Usagi may have gotten him to this point, but ultimately, Arisu need to be the one to truly make the decision to keep on living.

So we get to the game venue, and we meet the other players. One interesting thing here is that those players directly mirror Arisu and his original friends, a protective fighter, an emotional, loyal thinker and a vulnerable, injured player, who needs his team’s help to keep on going.

As the game progresses and the other players start to die, Arisu basically sees from a third person perspective his own friends die again. He keeps pushing. Eventually Yamane, the sole survivor of the group, laments the loss of his friends, unsure how to keep going without them.

Arisu then encourages him “survive, and tell your wife and child all about them”, Usagi giving him a meaningful look as he says so. This is Arisu telling himself to keep going, fully taking the position of someone willing to survive. It’s also noteworthy that the color correction in this scene is extremely yellow, a color that in Alice in Borderland, can be associated with grief. The undertone is clear: Arisu is still grieving, his friends’s death still hurt him, but even still he’s choosing to keep going.

Then they find a motorcycle, a very underrated moment for Arisu’s character. It’s easy to imagine, that after failing to save his team’s life in the 7 of hearts, he would be insecure about his greatest attribute, his intelligence. Here, against all odds he’s using knowledge only he has to save a life they all thought was lost: Takuma. Once again displaying the courage that drew in Usagi during the 5 of spades, he chooses to risk his life to go back to the bus. “I will never survive because someone died for me”, again, with the yellow color correction in the scene, his grief is dictating his choice here, pushing on his bravery.

In the end, that bravery is rewarded with a GAME CLEAR for both him and Usagi. In the manga, it’s revealed that the “lesson” of this game is that your team mates should never be left behind. This is the moment, I think, that really defines Arisu’s way of playing games. To him, there always will be a way around the rules where people survive, this game only proves that to him, and in my opinion what allows him to later on beat the 10 of hearts.

Now, the game ends in a somber note. Takuma choosing to walk away from Arisu and Usagi with the empty promises that they may meet again. I feel like he shows what may have happened to arisu, if Usagi hadn’t found him. Wandering alone in the borderlands with little will to live.

The episode ends with Arisu dead set in finding the beach, honoring Karube’s last wish. He bikes away with Usagi, the entire scene tinted in light blue, Arisu’s color. He found himself once again, and now, literally carrying Usagi’s weight in the bike (a clever way to show the two way of their relationship, since she did carry him on for the first halve of the episode), he pushes on to the next stage in the games.

#alice in borderland #ima wa no kuni no alice #arisu ryohei #usagi yuzuha #arisu x usagi #AiB #dear god this is long #I’ve been putting of writing about this episode because there’s just so much to look at #maybe i’m overthinking #but still #analysis

93 notes · View notes

battlekidx2 · 2 years

Text

Best of Animation 2021 - The Last Lullaby (Centaurworld)

Centaurworld is a deceptively deep show*. From the marketing it received the show felt jarring and disjointed almost as if two incompatible worlds had been thrown together haphazardly but the moment you boot it up and start watching it is obvious this is far from the case.

Centaurworld is about grief, loss, depression, and learning to heal. It uses its vastly different tones and visual styles to elevate these aspects of the story.

It’s a fantastic and fun ride and I believe its finale “The Last Lullaby” is the best example of how it uses all these seemingly contradictory parts to get all these themes across, especially with the music.

Centaurworld is a musical that has a lot of songs that I have fun with but I would say it is usually “all bops and no bangers” (credit where credit is due. I heard this from Sarcastic Chorus).

The one place I really love their music and think it makes itself stand out is in its reprises. The way it brings songs from earlier on back and completely changes the meaning through the context of the scene.

This episode does the same thing with Rider’s Lullaby and The Nowhere King’s lullaby. These songs are closely associated with the protagonist and antagonist of the show respectively and the way they are brought back in this finale really brings their arcs full circle.

I especially love how the Nowhere King’s lullaby is brought back because it really accentuates the tragedy of his character and his relationship with the purple haired woman. I wish this relationship was explored in greater depth throughout this season but what we did see of these two characters was hauntingly beautiful in a way that you wouldn’t expect from what is essentially a single episode exploring their relationship.

The Nowhere King’s death didn’t feel triumphant or glorious like you would have expected after his introduction in the two part finale of season 1. It’s quiet and personal. He returns to his original form one final time before the woman he loves ends his life once and for all.

The purple haired woman hesitated to go through with this before this point but she’s resigned herself to the fact that she must be the one to bring this nightmare to an end. Despite the love between the two their story doesn’t have a happy ending. It’s very tragic and the last lullaby the purple haired woman sings gets across the emotions of the scene between the two characters accentuates this.

The backstory of the elktaur chronicles the slow self-destruction and mutilation of someone who feels trapped on the outside looking in due to his internalized self-hatred. It becomes a tragedy about someone who felt undeserving of love to the point where their internal war with themselves became external.

“They’re the same being locked in this everlasting fight with himself.”

This is an interesting exploration of morality that accepts that people are steeped in shades of gray. It’s like what the Nowhere King says to horse “we all have good and bad”.

This episode shines brightest when it takes a microscope to all these characters and forces us to look at them for all they are.

The Nowhere King is a horrible monster that has caused so much suffering but he is also a victim.

The general is a monster wearing the mask of a hero that perpetuates a conflict he will never end because he ultimately holds his own self interest and preservation of utmost importance.

The purple haired woman was blinded by her love and awe of the elktaur and centaurworld and it is ultimately her love that prevented her from ending this conflict when she had the chance. (She isn’t evil. I’m not blaming her. She understandably struggled to end the life of someone she loved.)

That being said I do have a few issues.

My issues with this episode don’t stem from the content within the episode itself but rather the lack of screen time and build up to certain important aspects of this finale.

I think there should have been more of the general before this moment because the twist that he’s part of the nowhere king is meant to completely flip the kindly, righteous leader visage on his head but since we didn’t spend enough time with him it doesn’t hit as hard as it could have. The general’s betrayal of Rider would have been even more of an emotional gut punch if we trusted him like Rider did, which could only be built up if there was more time allotted to him.

I think the purple haired woman should have had more screen time because it’s the tragedy of her life and love of the nowhere king that is a driving factor in the entire story. In fact it’s her ending with the nowhere king that is what I would argue to be the emotional climax of the episode and by extension the series so I wish more time was given to them.

Everything that happened in the episode was great and it hit all the beats it was aiming for but like I said above I feel like some of them could have been strengthened if the series had given the characters involved more focus.

For example Rider being stabbed by the general is comparable to Marcy being stabbed by Andrias and yet I would argue that Marcy being stabbed is much more of a gut punch due to the amount of time their relationship was afforded within the show. We see how much Marcy trusts Andrias and we know why. Even if we knew he was up to no good we got to see how well Marcy and Andrias clicked and how much they had in common.

Marcy is also given more screen time herself which allows us to grow attached to her in a way we couldn’t with Rider. So when the moment of truth happens and Andrias makes the decision to stab Marcy in the back it is a complete gut punch. We care about Marcy, we know how this relationship made her feel seen, we understand the full depth of the betrayal.

I’m not saying this to hold one show up on a pedestal above the other, I’m using it as an example to explain why I think this certain plot point would have benefitted from extra attention earlier in the series.

That being said, I believe the way the general’s betrayal played out was very effective coming from Rider’s perspective (just not as much when it comes to the general and their relationship). The show has done a good job up to this point portraying Rider’s unwavering belief in the general. She is a child soldier that has dedicated her life to this cause that the general leads and yet he never meant to actually end the war or his people’s suffering.

It also leads into a very touching reprise of Rider’s Lullaby.

This was the first song we heard in the series and it was the defining song of Rider and Horse’s relationship. Having the song come back around with Horse being the one to sing it to comfort Rider in an inverse from the pilot would have been a fantastic bookend to their relationship.

This is why I’m mixed on how they chose to have this scene play out.

I’ve never been a big fan of fake out deaths and this one still has me conflicted. This is purely a personal preference thing. I’ve just never been big on these types of scenes.

This leads me to the episode’s ending.

Centaurworld is a story of two wildly different worlds and tones that come together to elevate each other rather than detract. On the one hand the show can cover the bleak reality or war, loneliness, and loss and on the other it triumphs family, love, and connections. This episode is a nice blend of the two with the finale showing the clash of the tragedy of the past (the elktaur and the purple haired woman’s story) and the hope of the future (the ending with horse and her herd).

This decision holds true to the series to this point.

This episode was a fantastic ride from start to finish. There were some aspects of the episode I was mixed on but I ultimately love the end result and find myself revisiting the tale in my thoughts and on rewatch.

I am interested to see what Megan Nicole Dong does next!

*The marketing for this show wasn’t great. I know many people that were turned off from the show because of the trailers they had seen which is disappointing. But I’ve seen a lot of fairly big youtubers cover the show and help give it the attention it deserves.

Extra Thoughts

I thought almost all of the comedy hit, especially all the gags with Stabby. “I have unquantifiable corpses on my conscience.” is one of the funniest lines in the entire show. I really wasn’t a fan of the fart joke with horse in the elktaur’s mind and thought it really fell flat.

#centaurworld #the last lullaby #nowhere king #elktaur #purple haired woman #horse #wammawink #rider #general

68 notes · View notes