#S4 got me sobbing or even worse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sthormiiii · 5 months

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aaravos headcanons !! (again)

i've put a little more thought into this ones~

General headcanons:

- hes so strong, or, well. he used to be. ofc he's naturally very strong, but ever since his imprisonment he has been sitting down a lot, he doesn't work out much in there (too busy being sad and plotting revenge) so, when he gets out and notices that he struggles to lift stuff up, that annoys him.

- he tried his best to stay away from humans at first, but it was so hard for him, he promised himself he would just take a look, just to see how they live from closer, nothing more!! we know how that went.

- him before the fall was such a nerd!! he still is ofc, but before all the trauma he used to be just a guy interested in humans! just picture him trying the human rayla thing the first time he went to humans.

- one of his favourite things was observing human couples togheter. yeah this might sound creepy i know, but he genuinely enjoyed watching two people just...being in love, and he always noticed the little gestures they did for each other- he would try to keep track of those, trying to understand what exactly being in love meant.

- that ties to the fact that startouch elves usually don't fall in love? because there isn't really a startouch elf society, they mostly live by themselves- that's another thing he loves about humans, the way they live togheter and create families.

- zones out a lot. he has so much stuff he wants to say, so many things in his head and he gets caught up in in his own thoughts so much

- he reads people very easily. notices the slightest things when talking to someone. especially looks at their hands and body language in general

- after he shattered the mirror in s4 he realized he couldn't look at himself anymore and went "-oh." so, NOW his hair is messier and he has to look at his reflection in vases or stuff like that. he's annoyed

- he sleeps in very specific ways with very specific kind of pillows and stuff. if he ever has to sleep somewhere else, his whole body hurts the next day

- he laughs loud af, can and will laugh like a maniac if he finds something THAT funny

- craves love and validation. wants to be praised and likes being at the center of attention

- he loves physical contact and tried to get it all the time, even small things like knees touching when sitting besides someone, or holding hands made him feel so happy

- his love language is quality time and physical contact

- hates getting sick, it makes him feel vulnerable and weak- it used to happen a lot because that man refuses to wear a shirt even in winter, and humans used to take care of him as much as they could! (he secretly liked it)

- first time he got sick he thought he was dying

- genuinely forgets how tall he is compared to other people, doesn't realize how menacing he can seem

- gets offended easily

- he!! likes!!!! bugs!!!!!!! I can't stress this enough

- he's ticklish. I won't elaborate.

Angsty ones:

- he hates himself,, he hates how he looks after his fall. he feels shame and guilt everytime he looks at himself

(s6 spoilers) him crying while looking at his reflection in the e1s6 made me think of this even more, he literally looks at his hands and see he's not glowing anymore and then. sobs.

- after losing so many people, he no longer grieves as much as he used to. if he stopped and really thought about it, he would cry, but he usually manages to block those thoughts out

- speaking of crying, once he starts he can't stop. he could cry for so many hours straight there's just so much stuff he went through and he needs to let all of that out...when he cries the stars on his cheeks shine more

- other than sadness he also has lots of anger inside. he sometimes snaps and throws punches against the walls of his prison, or he throws stuff around, making a mess. he then feels even worse

- he misses looking at the stars more than anything. yes, it's painful for him and he hates them. but he also just wish he could stargaze again.

- his nightmares manly consist in people he used to know, haunting him. he dreams of people who betrayed him, and he also dreams of being unable to move or do anything, being chained or just forced to stay still as people he used to know are there, watching, but don't help. sometimes they're happy dreams, of freedom and love, but even those leave him crying in the morning

- he is scared to love again

- as soon as he's out of that pearl he will sob. i know he will.

help its 2am does these make any sense...

#tdp #the dragon prince #aaravos #tdp aaravos #headcanons #headcanon #writing

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klausinamarink · 4 months

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I’m Still Here, Boys

rating: T | cw: offscreen physical assault | tags: wound care, hurt/comfort, post S4, Steve lives with the Munsons, Wayne being the best uncle | wc: 654

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles | Dec 26: Who did this to you?

When Wayne pulled up to his new government-paid house and saw Steve’s car on the driveway, he thought nothing of it.

But once he walked through the front door and saw two pairs of jackets with bloody sleeves lying on the floor, Wayne’s thoughts veered to the worse.

“Boys?” He called out urgently. There was a muffled thud down the hall. Wayne immediately followed the noise, leading him to a closed door to the bathroom. He threw it open just after he heard Eddie started calling, “Waitwait, Wayne-!”

He froze at the sight before him.

Steve and Eddie were both sitting in the tub, their faces a mess of cuts and bruises. Steve looked like he had a broken nose while Eddie had a strip of gauze over his left eye and cradled his right arm suspiciously close to his chest. They had also taken their shirts off so Wayne could see bright purple bruises covering their ribs and arms.

“What happened?” Wayne heard himself speaking, but it held more restraint than his own body as the embers of anger started to overwhelm him. “And don’t even say it was nothing because it sure as hell looks like none.”

The boys looked at each other, having one of their silent conversations. Finally, Steve’s gaze fell to the floor while Eddie looked at Wayne. Christ, he looked more awful with the new injuries overlapping his scars. It made Wayne clench his fist, though behind his back so his nephew wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

“We-” Eddie stopped, licked his lips with a wince (there was a cut there too, sweet Mary and Joseph-), and started again, “We got… jumped.”

“Who did this to you?” Now Wayne’s voice began to tremble. Eddie looked away with a shaky breath. “Who?”

“It- Wayne, I swear we didn’t even know them! Steve and I were just, uh, minding our own business out of town when-” Eddie clamped his mouth shut, wrestling his hands together. Even from a few feet away, Wayne saw the blood underneath.

“They knew Eddie from the news.” Steve said, sounding too quiet and distant for a young man. “They said he should’ve died in the earthquake. I got in front of Eds, told them they could go to hell or go through me.” He gave out a dry laugh and pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly holding back tears. Eddie looked like he was even there anymore.

Wayne couldn’t handle just standing here anymore, so he took two large strides and threw his arms around the boys. He hugged them tight, blood be damned, though he had to be careful when they both winced in his ears. But Eddie lifted his arm around Wayne, Steve following suit a second later.

Wayne took several deep breaths before he pulled back slightly and looked at his boys, both of his hands lightly gripped behind their heads so they all held eye contact. “Listen to me. First and foremost, I am so glad as hell that you two even managed to make it home alive. Second, let me help in fixing you boys up. I don’t trust either of ya to keep your eyes open for long.”

Eddie and Steve both looked close to damn-near sobbing that Wayne hugged them a little longer.

Much later, once the boys were properly cleaned and bandaged, Wayne sent them to bed with water and Tylenol, along with a firm order for them to holler if anything happened during the night.

After a moment of contemplation, Wayne went to his own bedroom and took out his rifle. It was old and hadn't been shined in a few years, but he still had some ammo left.

He promised himself that the next time Eddie and Steve go out, he’ll tag along so just in case if those bastards show up to dare and hurt them again, Wayne will blast their faces off.

#klaus writes #steddie #wayne munson #steddieholidaydrabbles

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atlaese · 2 years

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don’t worry, darling - s.h.

summary: one thing about living in Hawkins, Indiana, is that you're never sure if it is just a regular nightmare or something else. Steve, however, will always be your rock.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader tw: reader has a nightmare, angst from the nightmare, no spoilers for s4, fluff & fluffy ending. words: 1.2K

a/n: hi! i have finals and couldn't sleep because of the stress so I wrote this down last night! I'm forever hoping that one day I'll have someone who comforts me as steve does in this one <3 happy reading!

p.s. dividers by @firefly-graphics p.p.s. i now have a library blog! go follow @aeristhotle and turn on notifs to get notified when i update!

reblogs and comments are highly appreciated ✨💗

steve harrington masterlist | main masterlist

You were running.

You felt the coldness of the dirt under your bare feet – little leaves and the needles of pine trees sticking to your soles.

Though it hurt, escaping was the only thing on your adrenaline-filled mind, your heart pumping blood at an intoxicatingly high speed.

The darkness was hiding in the air surrounding you. It permeated the oxygen your poor lungs desperately needed; hidden in the tiny gusts of wind that ruffled brown leaves on dead trees all around you.

Or wasn’t it?

Your pace faltered as you questioned your surroundings, why you were running from an unknown darkness and why you weren’t exactly aware of its location. Was there really something, or was your imagination projecting your darkest horrors that were hidden somewhere deep in your subconscious?

Where did you start off? You had no recollection of why you were running, where you came from or where you were supposed to go. Your chest was heaving, cold sweat running all over your body, yet the thought of having no memories was worse than running from the unknown darkness.

The ground was littered with sharp-edged pebbles where you were running, yet the soles of your feet were perfectly fine, not a scratch in sight. There was something that was off – an anomaly. Or maybe it was you in this scenario, the anomaly running through another dimension, a tear in the space and time continuum.

Slowly, the world as you knew it started shifting. Up became down and right became left. It felt like the skies were stuck in a tumbling machine, rolling at dazzling speeds.

It was only then that the true horror set in.

Your body was subjected to the endless tumbling of the skies, and you let out a piercing scream when you felt your body flying through the air.

The next moment, you fell with a thud on the soft carpet in Steve Harrington’s room, your pillow falling with you in the movement.

“Babe? Baby? Are you alright?” Steve called out, a panicked edge to his sleep-muddled voice as he couldn’t immediately find you next to him. Didn’t he fall asleep with his arm tightly curled around your waist, hopefully preventing any demo-monstrosity from harming you?

Steve jumped out of the bed and flicked the light-switch on, squinting his eyes to get used to the sudden bright white light.

You were still lying on the side of the bed and Steve could make out the shivers that ran over your body, the t-shirt that you were wearing was soaked with sweat. It looked like you had seen a ghost – though that was an understatement. There was a horrified expression plastered on your face, tears making their way like a dam that was just unleashed.

“Oh, I’m here, I’m here” he rushed over to you, kneeling down next to you as he grabbed you by the shoulders and almost agressively pushed you against his bare chest.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you now,” he whispered in your ear, his hand softly rubbing your back as a violent sob made your body shudder. “Don’t worry, darling.”

Steve comforted you while you were slowly starting to realize it had just been a bad dream, a momentary disruption of your peaceful night of sleep next to your boyfriend.

“Shh, they can’t hurt you now,” he shushed, not letting go of your body, even when your breathing started to return to a normal pace and when your heart wasn’t galloping like a horse broken free.

Steve pressed a few kisses on the side of your face, his scent calming you down even more. The tiny whisps of his hair tickled your face, grounding you in the moment.

You pressed your fingers into the pollen of the carpet, feeling its softness instead of the cold and hard ground of the forest. The combination of Steve’s reassuring whispers, the heat of his body, and the feeling of the carpet underneath you finally calmed you down.

“Hey, what happened,” Steve asked, pulling away slightly so he could take a good look at your face. The tears had stopped and left shiny streaks on your face, which he softly thumbed away as he held your face in his hands. “I’m here, okay, I’m here.”

“Just a nightmare,” you whispered, your voice a bit raw from the tears.

Steve scanned your face – still a little anxiety blooming in his chest as he couldn’t wipe the look on your face from his mind. God, how he wished it was him that had the nightmare instead of you. This godforsaken town and its godforsaken curse – you didn’t deserve any of the side effects just because you wanted to help him and the kids.

“Were you… were you back there?” he hesitated, unsure if you even wanted to reminiscence about the event.

You thought back to the dark world, the tumble of the skies and the feeling of eerie darkness all around you. “Yeah, or a version of it at least.”

Steve senses your hesitance to elaborate further, so he stood up and helped you up as well.

“Maybe you should take a hot shower, I’ll get you some new clothes and I’ll stay awake while you get some sleep, hmm, sounds good?” Steve said, rubbing the sides of your arms with care.

After you had quickly taken a shower and pulled on a new shirt, you emerged from the bathroom only to see Steve waiting on the bed next to a mound of pillows and soft tunes of a slow song playing from his record player.

“C’mere,” he held out his arms, still a little worry to be detected on his face.

You fell into his embrace and laid your head on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders. Steve pressed another kiss against the soft spot next to your ear and then rested his cheek on top of your head.

“We’ll keep the lights dimmed and I’ve put on your favourite album as white noise,” he whispered, his voice a low timbre that wrapped you in a warm hug. “I’ll keep watch while you try to sleep again, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Thank you,” you craned your head to look up at him, before pressing a kiss against his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he nestled his head on top of yours, a small smile on his face now that he knew you’d be okay.

You grabbed one of his hands and laced your fingers with his, closed your eyes and quickly felt the exhaustion set into your bones.

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll always take care of you,” he whispered once he heard your breaths even out. “I’ll never let anything bad happen to you, not if I can prevent it.”

Maybe that was a stupid promise, especially as a Hawkins resident, a town notorious for disappearing kids and weird murders, but you were the most important person in his life he could think of, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try anything to keep you out of harm's way.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington fic #stranger things fic #stranger things #joe keery #ariwrites

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booksandpaperss · 2 years

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So, This may be depressing but.

I’m counting up moments in Stranger Things across the seasons where Mike has shown next to no regard (or simply none at all) for his own life… yall it’s concerning.

There are (so far) at least 3 glaringly loud instances where Mike has canonically not cared about his own life at all. We have:

-The cliff scene (s1)

-the scene where Mike hits flayed Billy on the head and is literally almost killed (s3)

-the shoot out scene where Mike throws himself in front of Will several times and even tries to do the same for Jonathan like one or two times (s4)

And ofc an argument can be made for *all of season 2* when Mike was willingly right by Will fully knowing that he was literally possessed by an otherworldly entity that wanted to kill everyone and yet Mike did not care at all, he was just focused on keeping Will safe hmmm

And these are just the biggest instances where it’s really clear, I’m sure if I actually got around to doing my ST rewatch I would notice subtler moments where Mike maybe wasn’t considering his own life as a primary or even secondary cause for concern.

Which brings me to my point: I’m REALLY worried for Mike in season 5. There are way too many hints that Vecna is gonna target him, and even some hints that vecna is ALREADY watching him in season 4. And with how his mental state has been lately, I really don’t think he would be able to emotionally handle dealing with vecna and fighting him off. I can say with 100% certainty that if vecna went for Mike RIGHT NOW, with where he’s mentally at as of the end of season 4, Mike would not make it out on his own; it doesn’t matter what song they would manage to find to play him, or what Will would be able say, because as of right now there is a part of Mike that wants to die. And as long as that’s the case, Mike will not be able to find it in himself to to choose to live despite vecna “persuading” him to die (that’s pretty much what he does), he just won’t. If he IS the one (ha 💀) that’s gonna get vecna’d on the flower field at the start of s5 instead of Will, El would HAVE to pull him out with her powers bc otherwise we’d lose Mike right at the start of the season and I really don’t think that’s gonna happen, the Mike angst is gonna be dragged tf outttt.

Most likely though, its gonna be Will in a Vecna trance at the start of the season, which is good (angsty as hell ofc but Yk, that’s gonna be the season 🥲) bc that gives Mike time to get to a better place mentally before it’s his turn. I’m thinking that by the time Vecna tries to kill Mike, he’ll be in a place to believe that he deserves to live, which means Will’s words WOULD be enough to save him.

This would also be such a beautiful message for people struggling with depression, it would be the same message as the running up that hill scene in s4 and let me tell u that scene had me SOBBING, and with Mike there would be the added layer of his mental health struggles being made worse by being queer and I just know that’s gonna hit home for a lot of ppl… god 😭😭

#TW for discussions of depression and mentions of suicidal ideation #im gonna make a longer in depth post abt this #how vecna is gonna go for Mike bc the way he kills ppl is by convincing them they deserve to die #and how Will’s love completely on its own can’t save Mike #just bc that’s not how being depressed works #byler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler is not ok #mike wheeler i know what you are #mike wheeler analysis #byler s5 #stranger things 5 theory #of sorts #mike gets vecna'd #elli talks mike wheeler

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sinfulserpents · 2 years

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Wish you well

Billy Hargrove x reader

warnings: s4 spoilers! violence, the upside down (usual stranger things shit), angst, mentions of billy :"(((

summary: struggling with Billy's death, you try to come to terms with the fact that the Upside Down still haunts you - this time, in worse ways.

a/n: i’m still not dealing with billy’s death well so this is what comes out of it. Also this doesn’t follow the cannon timeline of season 4 for creative purposes, pls don’t attack me.

You struggled the most in the Spring.

While everyone seemed to move on, your days stood at a still. You weren’t sure how it almost meant nothing to anyone else, you felt almost angry that everyone who pretended to be his friends didn’t even come to his funeral.

The weather was gloomy, the sky dark and threatening to rain as you stood around his open grave. You didn’t move from where you were standing, eyes locked on the figure of Neil Hargrove who was sobbing - you hated him. Billy hated him.

You listened as he spluttered some speech about how life wouldn’t be the same without his son and how a parent is never supposed to outlive their child knowing it was all a bunch of bullshit. He never loved Billy, you thought.

When it was your turn to speak you couldn’t move, your feet felt heavy - like they were being stuck to the ground in cement. Tears clouded your eyes and your throat felt like your heart was stuck in it.

“I-” you began, cutting yourself off with a dry swallow. “I love you Billy with my whole heart, and now my heart that felt full just feels like a burden. You once told me that you never felt love from anyone else but your mum - that I was the first to show it to you since she left. But the truth is I had never felt a love like yours, B.”

Gentle tears slid down your cheeks as you felt a soft hand grasp your own, your eyes meeting Max’s. Comfort and support from the younger girl warmed your chest and you took a deep breath.

“I’ll miss you every day for the rest of my life.”

---

You see him, for the first time, in Summer.

He wasn’t real, you knew that. A figure of your imagination as your brain struggled to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t laying beside you.

He wasn’t there, but your dream felt so real.

“Billy,” you croaked out, sighting his figure in the distance. “Billy!”

You watched as he turned to you, his figure seeming stiff before his arm outreached for you - pointing.

“You killed me.” His voice echoed, causing you to frown.

“What?”

Your voice was weak and you jumped when he appeared behind you, his lips pressed against your ear.

“You killed me, Y/N.”

You began to shake your head, spinning around to face him. He looked exactly the same as the night you lost him, his white shirt covered in black goo and crimson red blood - eyes blood shot as black veins creeped up and down his skin.

“I didn’t kill you, Billy.” You spluttered, taking a couple of slow steps back. “Don’t you remember?”

“You didn’t stop it! You watched as it killed me!”

“Billy, stop!”

You steps backward got more rushed as he began stalking towards you. His steps echoed loud in your ears, before his hands grabbed you by the neck.

“I bet you were glad,” he snarled, as your hands began to claw at his arms - lungs desperate to get a breath. “Glad that I was finally gone and you didn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

“No, B. I love you.” You wheezed.

The last thing you saw was his eyes turn black before you woke up from the nightmare with a gasp. Your hands desperately clawed at your neck in a panic, before reality set in and you realised what had happened.

He felt so real.

---

Things started to pick up again in Autumn.

You thought killing the Mind Flayer had ended the horrors of the Upside Down, but when Steve Harrington and his band of misfit children basically knocked your door down you could only heave a sigh before picking up your crowbar and following them to the car.

“So this creature has killed two people and everyone thinks this kid-”

You were cut off by Dustin. “Eddie.”

“Right, yeah. Eddie, killed the cheerleader so now a bunch of basketball playing assholes are hunting him down instead of letting the police do their job?”

Your questioning was met with unanimous agreements, your head turning towards Max who was crammed against the car door, her headphones glued to her ears as she stared out the windows. You hadn’t seen her since Billy’s funeral, but by the state of her you could tell she was barely coping like yourself.

“And this creature,” you continued, turning back towards the others. “It tried to attack Max?”

“Vecna. He gave her nightmares for a week before trying to kill her,” Dustin exclaimed. “Robin and Nancy figured out that you could be pulled back from his spell with music.”

Your heart sank at the mention of nightmares, your mind going back to the same one you had for weeks.

“Guys,” you sighed. “I’ve been having nightmares recently.”

The car went silent at your revelation, all eyes meeting yours - even Steve’s who was looking at you through the mirror.

“They’re probably nothing though-”

You were once again cut off by Dustin who abruptly turned around in his seat. However, you knew what you said was extremely bad by the fact that Max had began paying attention. Before Dustin could get out a single word, Max had spoken up.

“About what?” She questioned, eyes full of concern. You only shook your head.

“It doesn’t matter. They’re nothing. I’ve had them for months now and nothings happened, Dustin said that its seven days after experiencing them that Vecna tries to kill you. I should be in the clear,” you determined. “Right?”

Nobody seemed to believe a single word you were saying.

“Y/N,” Max brought your attention back to her. “What are they about?”

With a sigh, you began to fiddle with your fingers. “Billy. They’re about Billy.”

---

You were thrust fully back into the world of the Upside Down in Winter.

The kids were correct in thinking that you were being targeted by Vecna and his spells. In fact, they were so correct that Vecna seemed to make it his personal mission to try to get to you more than once.

Your hand gripped Robin’s as you watched Steve and Nancy try communicate with the kids through lights - just as Will had done when he got stuck in the Upside Down. The ground shook under your feet, and your heartrate was so fast you thought you might pass out.

You couldn’t help but almost feel useless as they figured out that there were other portals to the dangerous world - one of them being in Eddie’s trailer.

He was nice, you had decided. A little weird, and definitely knew more about D&D than an adult should, but overall, nice. Dustin vouched nothing but good things about the guy, so it was safe to say that he lived up to your expectations.

However, it didn’t stop the sting in your heart when you noticed just how similar he was to Billy. From the leather jacket, to the way he was constantly worried about his mane of curly hair - it almost gave you whiplash. Which is why you barely spoke to the poor guy.

That didn’t stop him from trying to talk to you.

“Hey, I know I’m not the smartest of the group,” Eddie chimed up before pointing to the four bikes left in the Wheelers garage. “But there’s only four bikes and five of us.”

“That’s okay,” Steve chimed up, looking towards Nancy who was dusting off the seat of her bike. “Nancy can ride on the back of mine.”

You were quick to shake your head, awkwardly scratching your head - a nervous habit.

“I - uh. I don’t know how to ride a bike.”

The group went silent, and Robin offered you a bashful smile before she punched Eddie in the arm.

“You can hop on the back of mine,” he suggested, shooting Robin a side-eye. “If that’s okay with you.”

Nodding, you tried to ignore the deflated look in Steve’s eyes - knowing that he would have to deal with his obvious Nancy pining some other time, as you stood on the pegs attached to Mike’s bike wheels and wrapped your arms around Eddie's shoulders.

"Hang on tight, I haven't done this in a while."

His words didn't fill you with confidence as he began to pedal, but nevertheless you tightened your grip a tiny bit more. You tried not to shudder at the sounds of the Upside Down bats that Robin thought had rabies.

Maybe not rabies, but definitely some other diseases, you thought to yourself.

It didn't take long to reach Eddie's trailer, so long as you didn't count the five times Steve almost crashed his bike because he was too busy staring at Nancy.

You couldn't help the smile that grew on your face when you entered and saw that Dustin was right, there on the ceiling of Eddie Munson's trailer was another gate to the Upside Down.

"Hey!" Dustin waved, from above you causing Robin to let out an 'that's trippy'.

You didn't question Dustin when he threw a rope of tied up pillow cases through the gate, watching in awe as it just hung there in-between the two worlds. Robin tugged on the roped before giving everyone a salute - beginning to climb the rope.

You watched with wide eyes when she reached the top of the Upside Down world and crashed down onto the mattress the kids had lined up under the gate. Eddie only chuckled before volunteering to go next.

Before you could even reach the rope, your entire body froze - the air around you seemed to get colder and more silent, before footsteps began echoing in the distance.

“Y/N!” You barely had time to react to the sound of your name, being thrown against the ground by an invisible force.

Your eyes shut at the pain the shot up the back of your head, teeth grinding together - the air knocked out of your lungs. You sputtered and coughed, trying to regain your sense of reality.

“You could’ve saved me.” Billy.

You kept your eyes glued shut, not willing yourself strong enough to open them - your voice coming out strong as you spoke.

“You won’t get me this time, Vecna. Stop trying to use my dead boyfriend to break me.”

Silence filled the air before you felt slime creep up your face, a sticky finger sliding down your cheek.

“Oh but Y/N, I don’t have to break you. You’re already there, aren’t you?”

Taking a deep breath you tried to ignore his words, knowing that while they were true - you had to focus to get yourself out of this predicament.

“Billy would never say those things,” you spat, finally opening your eyes to look at the monster above you. “He loved me too much. He knew I tried to save him. You will never know what that feels like.”

With all the might in your body, you forced yourself to push him away - beginning to run in the opposite direction where you could see a bright light in the distance. Your Converse slid against the grime on the ground - almost losing your footing once or twice but you persevered, even with Vecna sending images of Billy after you.

It seemed like an eternity before you reached the light, pushing yourself through it only to be caught by the gentle arms of Steve who had tied you to his back with his jacket as he climbed the rope. The both of you laid on the mattress as you began to sob - hands desperately gripping onto Steve as if you were making sure it was really him.

You knew that wasn’t the end - that Vecna would keep trying to come after you until he got what he wanted. But you were just glad to be safe, even if it wasn’t for long.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove drabble #billy hargrove headcannon #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things headcannon #stranger things drabble #stranger things fanfic #stranger things season 4 #stranger things billy

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jjtheresidentbaby · 10 months

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HELLO LOVE!!! @bebbie-bilinski AGAIN!!

ok like we discussed this is def gonna be a more hurt/comfort oriented request :P

as always regressor!stiles and cg!derek at the loft haha

ok i was wondering if you could maybe do something where stiles is upset -very upset- we're talking ugly crying inconsolable throwing pillows full speed at walls that sort of upset tho im not too sure as to why he could be upset maybe its all the stress of having near death experiences thanks to the supernatural world or maybe its due to thinking about past trauma too much (or take some creative liberties! u know i'll eat it up regardless) im thinking stiles will be big during this and derek tries frantically to help in whatever way he can and once hes calmed down hes just too exhausted to do anything else but regress and recuperate from all the big emotions :P then its all derek asking what stiles wants to get comfy and big ol clueless stares from stiles cus he has no idea what he wants lol im not sure if id rather they be alone when stiles regresses or maybe peters there too anyways theres obligatory cuddles in big comfy t shirts and!! itty-bitty-baby regressor stiles coded pretty please (´∀｀)♡ ! god im so sorry this is so long i hope that was detailed enough!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ remembering ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| stiles stilinski & derek hale & peter hale || read on ao3

notes: this got requested and hour ago and I’m already answering it & it’s midnight, someone pray for me

warnings: set after s3 before s4, mentions/talk of void stiles, crying, angst, hurt/comfort, pet names, Peter being referred to as “papa”

Derek watches in horror as Stiles scream sobs in the middle of the lofts living room, his hands are grabbing at his throat as though he can’t breathe, body halfway bent in on itself as he only grows louder. Derek doesn’t know what to do. Stiles had texted him asking if he could come over, saying he felt upset and maybe a slip coming, Derek of course replied immediately saying he’d be waiting.

What Derek didn’t expect was to open the loft door to Stiles already crying, thick tears staining his pale skin and hiccuping breaths leaving his chest. Derek had tried to pull Stiles into his arms, the little usually clings to Derek when upset, but he got pushed away from. There’s been no explanation as to why Stiles is so upset but that doesn’t seem to matter to Derek, he’s too heartbroken to think about it.

“Stiles, Stiles please breathe, it’s okay.” Whether or not Stiles can even hear Derek’s voice is really up for debate, Derek keeps trying anyways. His own tears threatening to spill when Stiles’ knees shake and he drops to the ground, Derek right by his side.

“I can’t- I can’t Der, I can’t!” Small red lines appear on Stiles’ throat where he scratches at the skin, Hale catching his wrists before it can get any worse. The last thing he needs is to try and preform first aid while Stiles is in this state.

“Can’t what? What is it baby? Talk to me.” It shakes coming out of Derek’s mouth, hating how Stiles cries even harder.

“It’s too much! I don’t want it!” Stiles sobs before falling into Derek’s chest, screaming as loud as he can get before another sob bubbles from his throat.

“What don’t you want? You gotta talk to me, let me help.” Derek’s voice is hoarse with desperation, allowing Stiles to hit at his sides after Derek releases his wrists.

“All of it! I- I remember it all Der, I don’t want it, please. Please make it go away.” The begging tone and pleading eyes sent Derek’s way is enough for his breath to catch. He suddenly knows what this is all about, void Stiles, the hell that happened last year and still haunts his little night and day. Hale can’t imagine what it felt like to have someone control Stiles’ mind like that, but he knows what Stiles tells him, and that alone is enough to make Derek nauseous.

“It wasn’t you, it wasn’t you baby. It’s okay.” He soothes the best he can despite knowing how little it really does. Nothing can fix what happened, or the results it left behind.

“I don’t want to remember, I hate it. I wanna go back, let me go back.” Stiles’ hands cling around Dereks neck, fingers pulling at the t shirt he has on so tightly the material could rip.

“Go back where?” If there’s a place Stiles wants to go that’ll comfort him Derek will move hell on earth to get him there.

“To before. When- when void didn’t exist, to before it all happened.” Oh.

“Oh honey…” Derek has no words to say, he can only pull Stiles up into his lap more and rub his hand down the brunettes back. There’s still small whimpers and tears spilling from Stiles, Derek hates that he can’t make it all feel better, that he can’t take this kind of hurt away. He wishes he could hold Stiles’ hand and watch his veins turn black as he drained Stiles of his pain, but this isn’t physical, and there’s no easy fix to it.

“I want papa.” There’s a tremble when Stiles talks, he’s obviously dropped into his regression, a younger headspace from what Derek can tell just by his voice. And he wants Peter. Derek knows Peter went out to the grocery store at least an hour ago, he hopes he’ll be getting back soon.

“I’ll text him, okay?” Stiles nods along, eyes already drooping with exhaustion from his overwhelmed state. The attire he has on can’t be comfortable, jeans and a t shirt is fine while big but Hale knows Stiles will want something softer in his regressed state.

With that, Derek decides Stiles should change and quickly picks him up to walk them over to Peters bedroom, knowing that Stiles will want to wear something of Peters if he’s not here. He always likes to have something of one of his caregivers on, whether it he Derek’s hoodie or Peters shirt all depends on who Stiles is feeling clinger towards.

“Which one do you wanna wear?” The top drawer of Peters dresser is open wide enough for Stiles to see each t shirt folded neatly, Peters always been a precise person and his organization never fails to portray that.

“Do you want me to pick for you?” After a long beat of silence where Stiles only stares blankly into the drawer Derek figures he’d have a better bet choosing himself. Stiles nods in approval before Hale grabs the cranberry red t shirt that he knows is oversized even for Peter so it should be hanging off of Stiles, how he likes his shirts to be when small.

“Alright buddy let me text your papa and then we’ll get you out of those clothes.” A quick text messily explaining everything that just happened gets sent out quickly to Peter, he replies immediately, assuring Derek he’d be home as soon as he could and that grocery shopping would have to wait.

Once Stiles is changed into a small pair of pajama shorts and Peters shirt, him and Derek curl into the couch together. There’s a kids show playing lowly but neither are paying attention. Stiles is chewing the collar of Peters shirt, having refused a tether or pacifier, and Derek’s busy focusing in on Stiles’ heartbeat. It’s normal, not spiking in anxiety or panic, he should be relaxing with that information. He can’t. His brain is too busy running through what possibly could’ve happened to trigger Stiles like that.

It could’ve been his own overthinking, that’s happened a couple times, but never lead to that intense of a reaction. Derek prays silently that it wasn’t somebody saying something to upset Stiles, or a random bout of flashbacks as that always leaves Stiles restless for at least a few days if not a full week.

“Munchkin! What happened?!” Peters booming voice cuts through Derek’s thoughts and he’s quickly met with Peter barreling over to where the two are on the couch. Stiles instantaneously climbs off of Derek to cling around Peter with a happy giggle at Peter hugging him in close. At least he’s calmed down now.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” Seconds pass where Stiles just stares at Peter, the older Hale obviously growing more concerned as his brow furrows and Derek swears his eyes couldn’t grow any wider.

“Papa!” Stiles finally bursts out and latches around Peter again, it makes both the caregivers give out a small sigh of relief and chuckle at Stiles’ endless need for affection and his lack of communication skills in baby space.

Derek knows he and Peter will have to talk about what happened once Stiles goes to sleep, which shouldn’t be too far away with how tired he looks. The questions buzzing in his head will have to wait to get answered, and Peter might genuinely never let Stiles leave the loft again, but for now Derek leans back into the couch and tries to relax. Peter gives him a knowing look, that one that says he can feel how much tension Derek still holds about the situation, he lets Peter knock his shoulder into Derek in support. They’ll figure it out.

#jj writes #teen wolf agere #little!stiles #caregiver!derek hale #caregiver!peter hale #stiles stilinski #derek hale #peter hale #derek hale & peter hale & stiles stilinski

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salvador-daley · 2 years

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Ooh! I wish you would write a fic where... We get to see how you think Klaus would be doing in S4, in the reset universe. 👀

A fresh start

A Klaus Hargreeves ficlet

A/N: My apologies in advance; this one got super dark. Thanks so much for the request @hucklebunny. I hope I managed to do it justice. 😘😘 Thanks, as always, to @allisoooon for putting up with my relentless screengrabs and pestering.

CW: Alcohol abuse, injury, PTSD. You know, the usual Klaus stuff

Words: 1.5K

At first, it seemed easy. New timeline, new Klaus. A new outlook on life. A fresh start, which is what (he assumed at the time) he so desperately needed.

He woke up every morning with a smile on his face. The air seemed crisper, the colours in the trees seemed brighter and more vivid, the sounds of the city seemed to come together in a beautiful medley of birdsong and wind rustling through leaves and children playing in the distance.

It was paradise. At first. A kind of Eden. And, for once, Klaus was able to explore it without the need for chemical assistance. His body seemed to have been printed anew - a perfect replica without any of its previous niggles and faults and failings. Even his IBS had cleared up, which was such a blessing - a fact he had discovered while on a late night visit to Baskin Robbins, peering through the glass counter at that big barrel of fudge ripple that no one ever changes out. He had chuckled to himself at the thought of how he’d once empathised with that almost-empty tub - all scooped out and used up. But now he was a full barrel - a fresh batch of tutti frutti with extra scoops piled on top. No more ghosts. No more ghouls. No more horrifying flashbacks of locked mausoleums and overhead rotor blades and shells landing by his feet. Just a blissful new beginning, every morning of every day.

Luther, on the other hand, was miserable.

At first, he’d been optimistic and focused. He had managed to secure them a small apartment (which was a difficult enough feat in itself without the proper identification and credit history) creating a base from which to look for Sloane. He passed out flyers, he stapled posters to telegraph poles, he scoured the HarNet message boards for any sign or clue or smoke signal - a breadcrumb that might lead him back to her.

But nothing came. Before long, Luther had sunk into a deep depression. Every evening, Klaus would return from his job waiting tables at a nearby diner and find his brother in exactly the same position in which he had left him; slumped on the sofa, surrounded by cans and fast food packets, eyes staring through the TV, which was permanently tuned into HNN, rolling non-stop with news from the Hargreeves Empire.

It was pointless to try to move him. Any attempts to rouse him were met with a dismissive hand wave or - worse - an outburst of violent sobbing and wailing and pillow clutching.

One night, while watching news of the latest Hargreeves business venture (a small household device that anticipates your every desire and fleeting whim from minute to minute by analysing the data from your psychological profile, shopping habits, brainwaves, HarNet search history and nightly dreams) Luther had stirred just long enough to speak a single sentence: “He took everything from me. What else is left to know?”

After that, Klaus had abandoned any further attempts to lift him out of his funk. If the poor bastard wanted to be miserable, then he had earned the right to be miserable. Klaus brought home leftovers from the diner and reminded him to hydrate and that was enough.

The honeymoon period didn’t last long for Klaus either. Loneliness crept in, like a thief in the night come to rob him of any semblance of peace of mind.

Diego and Lila’s projected image of conjugal bliss didn’t help matters. Yes, they bickered non-stop, and, yes, they were just as disastrous as parents as they had been in every other aspect of their lives, but they had each other. And they had baby Ronnie.

The boy could be a tetchy, demanding infant, just like his father, but the child also had Lila’s doleful brown eyes and playful nature, which made him a delight to be around, when he wasn’t screaming bloody murder.

Unfortunately for Klaus, Diego’s domestic set-up was just another reminder of all the things he would never have: a stable home, a loving family. A warm body to hold him in the night. He started to spread his visits to the Hargreeves-Pitts household a little more thinly. And then eventually he stopped visiting them altogether.

Instead, he would take himself down to the vets’ bar after work and watch the people dashing through the rain outside the window, nursing a drink until it was time to go home and observe Luther’s continued descent into catatonic despair.

And that’s when the nightmares started again. Different this time. Less like ghostly visitations, and more like trips to a vivid alternate dimension. One in which the mingled scent of blood and gunpowder and mud still lingered in his nostrils.

Drinking deadened the senses, made the mind numb. But any escape it offered was temporary and fleeting.

The accident was the major turning point. The problem with spending one’s whole life as an immortal being with miraculous healing powers only to suddenly lose them at the age of thirty-something-ish is that you never really learn how not to get yourself killed. All the scrapes he got into as a teen, all the accidental overdoses, all the times he woke up behind a dumpster in the middle of winter had been chalked up to harmless mishaps, when in fact each one was likely a life-ending event. Klaus had never mastered the art of self-preservation because he’d never had to, until now.

He had to learn to look both ways when crossing the street. He had to learn the limits of the human body; to buckle his seatbelt, to cook his chicken all the way through. Basic shit that everyone else just knows, but which was a mystery to Klaus as he fumbled his way through this new life at which he was only granted one measly shot.

How was he supposed to know? Temptation was all around him. The keys to the golf cart had been left in the ignition. Even a sober person couldn’t have resisted a siren call that clear.

Coincidentally, he was not sober, but that seems beside the point now.

The resulting collision put him in the hospital for weeks and when he was ejected for failing to pay his bill he found himself with no job, no money and a pronounced limp.

He couldn’t even turn to drugs for comfort. The old man had designed a universe without abusable substances of any kind. Klaus was forced to tough out the pain, to endure it just as his father would have expected him to.

Now there were two of them on that couch, four glazed eyes fixed on the screen, dual brains being pummelled by the endless stream of news from the universe their father had so deftly crafted with himself at the centre.

And that’s when they saw her for the first time. Allison, in all her glory. Walking a red carpet in a dark blue velvet dress, her daughter on one side and her husband on the other - two people that had only existed in a reality which was since blitzed from memory, and never at the same time.

The penny finally dropped. While Klaus and Luther were vegetating on this couch, their sister was out there living a life they could only dream of. Rich, famous, and with the perfect paradoxical family - two halves of a life meshed together to make a whole one. And, the cruellest twist of all: Allison had sacrificed Luther’s great love for her own.

Clearly, she still had her powers too. How else would she be starring in the latest 21st Century Hargreeves studio blockbuster, swishing the mermaid train of her dress down that red carpet?

She always was a mediocre actress.

Klaus could feel a bitter swell of anger building within him that he didn’t know he could possess. He and Allison had always been so close, ever since they were children and she used to paint his fingernails beneath the dining table during mealtimes and let him draw comedy beards and glasses on the faces of her rivals in the teenage magazines whose covers she graced.

But now she was like a stranger, her blank face blinking beneath the photographers’ flashbulbs, as if nothing they’d endured together had ever mattered.

Was it Allison’s deceit, or the lingering sting of another, greater betrayal that drove him to do what he did?

Perhaps it was a bit of both.

The juvenile detention centre specialised in problem cases; youngsters with paranoid delusions and homicidal tendencies. Ones too deranged to be released back into polite society, too young for the adult system.

Klaus hobbled into the visiting room on his walking stick and took a seat by the far corner, beneath the barred window, and he waited.

The young man was the last of the inmates to enter. He looked older, but only slightly. Taller too. He was obviously experiencing a growth spurt. His hair was shorter and his body was beginning to take on the wiry musculature of an adult. He flicked a hand through his fringe as he took a seat at the small formica table across from Klaus.

“I was wondering how long it would take before you came crawling to me for help,” said Five.

If you liked this, please give it a little reblog 😘😘

Tagging your asses, now you’re it: @badsext @seanfalco @softforklave @neist @purblzart @maerenee930 @firstpersonnarrator @allisoooon @cemeteryklaus @super-unpredictable98 @courtneytarynofficial @mokolataddict @pickledbeefwastaken @love-is-dirty-baby @rina-cydonia @inspiremeandsetmefree @jender123 @vonkimmeren @sylvertyger @hucklebunny @rob-private @pietro-t1me @not-oscar-wilde @squishitude

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ouiagon · 2 years

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BYLER S4 ANALYSIS - Byler still has a good chance at being endgame and here's why (warning, this post is gonna be long)

Okay so, if any of you guys have been seeing my posts show up in the tags, you'll know that I was just as mad at everyone else after vol.2 dropped. We were immediately disappointed, angered, horrified, and depressed from what the last two episodes had to show - it was what everyone had started to call the worst queerbait in history (even though really there has been worse, we were just dramatic sdjfjg). I was on that boat initially - I literally felt knots in my stomach reading the liveblogged posts saying we lost. When I finally got the chance to watch episode 8 (I didn't watch both episodes at the same time), I sobbed at the scene with Will giving Mike the painting because it was just too painful. Using Will's beautiful love for Mike just to push El and Mike to get back together? There wasn't any worse way the Duffers could've possibly baited us, even if they killed Will or Mike off instead.

However, I finally got to watch episode 9 and I've been reading the analysis and hope-filled posts in the tag as well for the past couple of days. As a lot of people have joked we've been going through extreme versions of the stages of grief, but there really are valid points being made here and our emotional whiplash isn’t without good reason. And frankly, looking at S4 objectively, while it built up some great aspects about Byler I’m actually glad they’re taking the pace they are to build their relationship up. And that is the exact purpose of why S4 was left off the way it was - Byler is simply being built up even more to be endgame, and here’s why I think so based off of the evidence I’ve seen.

1. Mike’s monologue did not repair his and El’s relationship (romantically) and El has already moved on.

A lot of people think El as a character has regressed this season because of her relying on Mike again, and I thought so too initially until I actually watched the episodes for myself. This exchange in particular stuck out to me, and a lot of bylers have noticed the peculiarity of this as well.

If the writers really wanted us to believe that Mike’s monologue repaired their relationship, why would they write this line in? Sure, they didn't have to show them being all couple-y considering the serious events that were transpiring, but they could've easily left the line out to make us think everything was fine between them. They specifically wrote this line to clue us, the audience, in on the fact that Mike's monologue did not fix anything in regards to their romantic relationship. Of course Eleven needs time to take into account everything that’s happened to her and her loved ones, but personally, I think if Melvin really was endgame they’d show at least one conversation between her and Mike. If they had a conversation where El says “I love you” back to Mike and they smile at each other lovingly, I would have truly lost hope in Byler possibly being endgame. But they didn’t. Guess which pair had a heart-to-heart instead? Mike and Will.

The dialogue and framing they have here parallels the spy scene in S2 very heavily, and the fact that this is the lead-in to season 5 is pretty telling that it’s gonna have a lot of Byler focus.

Emotionally, El was much more focused on Max and Hopper for the whole season. Her letters to Mike were all filled with lies and she continued to lie to him in person. She and Mike are not connected on a deeper emotional level, and it seems like she had realized this during her time in the NINA project. Not even once was she shown to be thinking about Mike while isolated - she only showed concern for her friends in Hawkins, all of her friends as a whole. Her entire arc during the NINA project was her coming into her own, realizing she is not a monster but a human being and she is capable of making her own choices. When El was thinking about her memories with Max, she specifically thought of the moments Max was teaching her to be an individual in S3, to not rely on "stupid boys" to force what's right for her and to explore what she wants (”Not Hopper. Not Mike. You).

She had a much more emotional reaction to Mike’s words when he started to shout that she has to fight; she remembered her anger, her pain, but most importantly her true reason for fighting - to save her friends’ lives. El has realized that her "romantic" love with Mike has been holding her back, and what she wants more than anything is just familial and friendship bonds. This is also apparent when El went with Owens and left a letter for mike, signing it “From El” instead of “Love El” - I think she’s already moved on from loving Mike in that sense since episode 4. This is apparent in Eleven’s reunions with Mike and Will as well; Milkvan's reunion was sweet, but Will and El's was just as sweet and emotional. Both reunions were equally focused on and lacked any romantic connotations.

Mike parallels El’s father figures (something that has been noticed for a while now but is especially prevalent here).

A subtle but big reason why El has stopped seeing Mike in a romantic light is because he so often parallels the father figures in El's life. He is the only character other than Hopper to repeat "bitchin'" to her, he paralleled Brenner several times this season, and even his reunion with El in season 2 directly parallels with El's and Hop's reunion at the end of season 4.

The way Mike talks to El never comes across as romantic but paternal/brotherly ever since the very first season. In pretty much most conversations we see them have in S4, he’s either teaching her something new about the world or is purposefully acting more goofy and exaggerated to make her laugh while putting on a brave face (the skating rink “I’m like Bambi on ice” scene, the pizza sunglasses scene, and saying how the Benny’s Burgers T-shirt looked like it would swallow her whole during his monologue). He never wants her to see him looking weak, just like a father or older brother would. It’s undeniably sweet and shows he loves her in his own way, but he’s never acting honestly around her - he’s too afraid to show her his true self (which he’s admitted to during the van scene in episode 8). The costume designers talked about how while Mike is in California he’s wearing clothes he wouldn’t usually wear - clothes bought straight from the airport. He’s literally faking who he is around El. Meanwhile, it’s been shown time and time again that Mike and Will have a special relationship that can only parallel other romantic pairs in the show - one that shares emotional, deep, and honest conversations. They don’t parallel sibling relationships, they don’t parallel other platonic friendships, they are written like all the canon couples of the show, but especially Lumax.

El wasn't able to beat Vecna after his speech because Melvin is not what's gonna save the day, BYLER is. Ultimately Will will be the true key to everything in season 5, and he will only realize this once he learns that he is the one Mike has loved all along.

2. Mike could only say “I love you” to El because of Will, and Mike’s monologue heavily reflects Will’s words (and his own words from S2).

Mike was ready to give up until Will reminded him that Mike is the heart of the group. If Mike really loved Eleven, would he really need Will's words of encouragement to be able to say I love you to her? (It's also convenient that he could say I love you to her the moment her head was shaved again - almost as if he can only feel romantic love for El when she looks like a boy...) The speech seems to be a mix of a few things for Mike - a genuine fatherly/brotherly love for El, feelings for the El that Will built up in his head, repressed feelings for Will (best thing I’ve ever done vs my life started when I met you), and just saying the things he thinks El needed to hear in order to beat Vecna. Also, let's not forget the fact that the Duffer brothers have explicitly shown they do not believe in love at first sight, and even Mike himself seems to not believe in it ("that wasn't fate or destiny, it was just dumb luck"). Unless the Duffer brothers have changed their mind for some unfathomable reason, the fact that they deliberately made Mike say "the moment I saw you was the moment I knew I loved you" makes it pretty clear that entire monologue was built upon lies from the start. A lot of the monologue just doesn't really make much sense - he did not act in love with El at all at the beginning of season 1, he clearly wanted to use her to find Will and was ready to abandon her the moment she seemed useless/like a traitor. Almost everything he says to El only makes sense when you apply the same words to Will.

Everything about Mike’s monologue is in the shadow of Will - Mike’s words reflect his true feelings towards Will and Will was the one who helped him say these words to El in the first place by expressing his love through her. Will is constantly shown in the background of the frame while Mike is talking, and it’s symbolism showing where Mike’s heart truly lies.

And in Mike's monologue he is STILL idolizing El and putting her on a pedestal. He says he doesn't care whether she has powers or not, but he clearly contradicts himself within the SAME speech (and again paralleling Brenner by saying she can fly and move mountains). Mike has never shown any signs of actual romantic love for El - he's just confusing his admiration for El with romantic feelings, constantly calling her a “superhero” and “Superman”.

After everything she’s went through, El doesn’t want to be seen as a superhero or a monster, especially after Brenner’s talk with her about how human beings are more complex than the things spoken of in myths and fairy-tales. El is a human being, and while Mike does love and care for her, he isn’t letting her become whole.

3. The writers are obligated to address that the painting made by Will wasn't commissioned by El, and that’s going to open up a lot of possibilities for Byler.

It's clear to the audience that El had no idea what the painting was according to her letters to Mike, and considering the heartbreak they show with Will after giving the painting, they literally cannot ignore this plot-point. And some of you may be thinking "even if they do acknowledge it, couldn’t it just be confirmation for Will being gay and one-sidedly liking Mike?" and yeah, that's not impossible. However, Will is pretty much all but confirmed to be gay for Mike - even the writers and actors have fully acknowledged it at this point. Would they really use this as a "reveal" in season 5 when we already know this is the truth? No, this is going to be used as a reveal for MIKE'S feelings. He will realize that everything Will said in the van was about himself, and therefore the version of El that was built up in Mike's head was actually just Will all along. If Mike could only say “I love you” to the version of El that Will created by conveying his own emotions through her, this could only mean one thing.. The person he should actually be saying “I love you” to is Will. Will is the person he’s loved all this time, the person he can no longer live without.

How S5 will potentially use this plotline (the scenario I envision)

Mike and Will will be close friends still - best friends even, as Mike and Will clearly wanted in S4. Considering how S4 leaves off, they’ll likely be working together as a team like before. However, I think there will be a subtle but noticeable distance between them in S5, but this time it will be Will pushing Mike away. Of course Will wants Mike and El to be happy, but there's no denying that he's been hurt. He used his own love confession to repair the relationship between Milkvan, and Mike's monologue said a lot of things that were hurtful to Will (meeting El was the day his life began - AKA the same day Will disappeared). In this season we'll be seeing Mike chase after Will this time, similarly to season 2 where Mike initiates all of the Byler moments except with more angst and confusion between them. After this has been established, I think S5 will start with a Milkvan breakup initiated by Eleven. Mike will actually be hurt this time unlike season 3, but he'll be even more confused. Didn't El commission Will to make that painting? Wasn’t that painting in itself basically a love confession? Didn't Will say she's been feeling lost without me? Didn't she think of me as the heart of the group? Why would she breakup with me, especially after my own love confession? I finally said the words she wanted me to say! Mike will probably confront El about this with these thoughts racing through his head, but then everything will come to a head when El responds.

“What painting?"

After a LOT of initial confusion, this is where everything slowly starts to fall in place for Mike. He realizes the painting was NOT requested by El but it was all Will's idea, HIS gift for Mike. That entire monologue was Will's feelings. The person built up in Mike's head is not El, but Will. Will needs Mike. They both feel like freaks, and they need each other to not feel like mistakes. They make each other feel safe, normal, like someone else can actually understand them. They both feel lost with out each other.

Since Will will be a central part of the storyline in season 5, Mike will have to go through a lot of hardship in order to get back the person he loves and to prove his love - both emotionally and physically - and this will hopefully redeem Mike's character completely for us. Whatever Will is going to go through in the last season, he likely won't be able to do it alone, and once he realizes Mike loves him back he'll be able to save the day. This will directly parallel Mike’s monologue to El - the Melvin confession wasn't able to defeat Vecna because it was built upon lies, but the Byler confession will because both people GENUINELY love each other mutually.

I won't say I'm 100% confident in this theory, but a huge factor in it is that Mike (and arguably El) have no room left to develop unless their storylines are connected to Will. Sure, I'd love some development between Mike and his family, and that kind of plotline COULD work with Melvin... IF their relationship was healthy and built upon trust and understanding. But it just isn’t. El and Mike consistently keep lying to each other and just don't know how to communicate in a healthy way - but only in regards to the romantic parts of their relationship. When they're just friends/team-mates, they can communicate and work together just fine. They never open up to each other and get closer on an emotional level like Byler CONSTANTLY does - practically every time they’re on screen together! Unless the writing does a complete 180 and El and Mike are suddenly written competently as a couple, they are pretty much doomed to fail and the ending of season 4 is clearly implying that this is intentional. If Mike just ends up rejecting Will when he comes out in season 5, Mike will literally just become the most garbage human being on earth and nobody will be happy (and no, not because he can’t reciprocate Will’s feelings, but because he can’t even be a good boyfriend or friend if this is the case). It still stands that Mike’s character only makes sense if he’s suppressing his feelings for Will because of internalized homophobia. As I've seen quite a few people mention in their own theories, Byler endgame is the most satisfying conclusion to Will's, Mike's AND El's character arcs, and the angst in season 4 does not change that, it just sets it up even further. They've simply laid out the facts for us first - Will loves Mike, Mike loves the version of El that Will created by confessing through her, and El doesn't need Mike anymore (romantically) and values platonic and familial bonds more.

4. The placement of the pairings in episode 9 - Jancy, Jopper and Byler.

Unless the writers are just unforgivably cruel and are rubbing salt in the wound, this has to mean something. The couples are not anywhere NEAR each other and the placement feels way too deliberate, just like the grocery store scene in season 3. El is placed by herself in both scenes, pretty blatantly implying that she won't end up with anyone in the end. All of the couples are standing in the beautifully bloomed flowers and El is standing in the dead flowers - the same (or at least very similar) flowers that Mike picked for her. This is symbolism that their love has died and the other couples will be thriving in S5. (side note: really hoping this isn’t symbolism for Eleven dying though, I personally wouldn’t want Byler to happen at the expense of Eleven)

Themes of conformity

Speaking of Jancy, here’s an observation about the season’s themes I had thanks to the whole oddity of Stancy returning. Season 4 is about characters returning/losing to conformity temporarily - Nancy with Steve, Mike with El (and Will with Melvin), Robin with Vicky, and Lucas wanting to be normal/popular. But in the last episode Lucas has clearly moved away from that ideology, Vicky broke up with her boyfriend, and in the very ending shot of the season Nancy is standing with Johnathan and Mike is standing with Will. I know we’ve all been feeling like Stranger things has lost sight of what it’s supposed to be about, but the themes of the characters being outcasts and going against conformity is not lost! This season was just showcasing the characters' struggle and how hard it is to break outside of society's walls in the 80s. Very often you'll go against what you really want and lean back towards what's comfortable and safe for you, especially when you’re starting to doubt yourself and your relationships with others. Steve mentioned his dream of marrying someone and having 6 kids, the very image of a typical American dream for someone to have. Nothing against it, it's a really sweet vision to have for the future, but Steve is about as conventional a guy as it gets (bless him for being an ally though). For Nancy, Steve represents what it means to be normal, and El represents what it means to be normal for Mike. When Nancy got Vecna'd, it was a reminder to the audience that Nancy still feels guilty about Barb, specifically because she pushed her away and chased after being normal instead - being with Steve. Even though Nancy was starting to falter, she still cannot be with Steve even if she still feels attracted to him because it's what ended up hurting herself and others around her. When she's back with Johnathan and they make a remark about Argyle being a weirdo, Nancy says "welcome to the club", showing she's accepted she can't be normal/with Steve. The same thing applies to Melvin. Even when Mike sees El being bullied by other girls, Mike still fears that El will not need him anymore because he's a nerd and outcast. He has seen time and time again that she's an outcast just like he is, but she is still what is "normal" simply because she is a girl and being heterosexual is what was considered to be normal. Like Lucas, Robin and Nancy, Mike will learn it's fine to be an outcast (homosexual) in S5. Because as Lucas so eloquently put:

Conclusion

Of course all of this being the case won't magically mean the Duffers are good writers of course, they’ve disappointed us in ways even outside of Byler (*cough* Eddie’s death *cough*). But considering the seemingly careful and dedicated time they’re taking to build this up, it could easily be one of the best written slow-burn gay romances in all of history depending on the execution. It’ll definitely take a lot to fix Mike's character, but honestly considering he's a 14/15 year old kid in the 80s I can understand that he still can't get a grasp on his own feelings. If season 5 really does have a time-skip like everyone's been saying (I think it'll be 2 years and not 5 like some rumours have stated), Mike will hopefully be mature enough at this point to realize what an idiot he's been in season 3 + 4 and return to the Mike we all know and love (though I do think the time-skip may be mid-season).

In a recent interview it's been confirmed that Will will play a huge part in season 5, so as long as he's getting actual MC status again I’ll be as confident in Byler being endgame as I was during vol.1 of season 4 - that is to say, 100%.

A lot of people were confused about why the actors and writers were excited about Byler when it seemingly ended in heartbreak in season 4, but if you consider the idea that they already knew what’ll happen in season 5, all of their behaviour makes sense and it may have been completely unintentional to put our hopes up on the staff’s part. Season 5′s outline was written around the same time season 4 was being created thanks to the covid pandemic, so the likelihood of this is pretty high. And as I've seen some people mention, some scenes may have been moved to season 5 and/or scenes for both seasons were filmed at the same time (for example, the photo of Noah (in his season 4 outfit) in a harness was never explained). I can't really confirm any of this, but it definitely explains a lot if the staff aren't just completely blind to what queer folk actually want.

I’m genuinely hopeful now that season 5 will deliver on several of the ideas we were wishing for during season 4, and considering all of the brilliant analyses/theories that have been cropping up, it is definitely way too early to give up on Byler being endgame! Until the end all of us “delusional” bylers will be going crazy together 🌟

#byler #stranger things #byler is endgame #mike wheeler I know what you are #will byers #mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #stranger things theory #duffers please don't make me look like a delusional idiot AGAIN I beg of you #but I'll be riding this clown car to the ends of the earth

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charmixpower · 1 year

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Tbh in terms of rivusa and winx as a whole I refuse to acknowledge anything past season 5 like season 5 was crap but tbh the small rivusa moments like in ep 1 when they both made fun of skys awful hair or when she teased him Abt being a show off or like in that dragon taming episode where he was teasing her and she eventually managed to tame the dragon and he said “that’s my girl” (ok first of all If Anyone I was involved In romantically said that to me I wpuld fold immediately and secondly he said it in front of his professor😭😭😭 was gonna say he has balls of steel but honestly I’ll take it as he loves his gf a lot🗿) and of course the song writing a as cute and it’s the only time I’ll ever let a man getaway with public singing dedicated to his partner cause it’s so cringe for me but idk why for them i thought it was cute hahaha they honestly saved season 5 for me like I was eating up every crumb and interaction between them

OMG OMG OMG YEAHHHHHHH

Literally one of the saving graces of season 5 eat your fucking heart out season 4, and behold a season that actually understands Musa's personality

Tbh while I do like "getting together" stories, my favorite part of couples is seeing how they act when their together and established and s5 is FEEDING ME WELL WITH ALL THESE FUCKING ADORABLE RIVUSA MOMENTS

When Riven literally drove around to make sure that Musa could see that he saved the guy just like he asked her to do in the first episode, I'm still not over it. He was all like "!!!! Look I did the thing!!!" I am obsessed with him, and Musa teasing him for it by calling him a show off, I'll never recover

Riven just listing to Musa play the guitar with hearts in his eyes in s5 got me ok, and the way they snugly when up to each other and started flirting!!!!! Like yes their not suddenly going to super easily express their emotions over night, but their clearly TRYING and you have got me SOBBING ABOUT IT

Seeing Rivusa just getting to act like an established couple has reversed all the horrific damage s4 did to me mentally and emotionally with that horrible plot line. I genuinely want to know who in the writing room was stupid enough to think the girls would suddenly be super egotistical about their powers (interesting plot point when their mostly dating the nonmagical, but handled terribly) and Musa would mad at Riven for his actions. Not only would Musa and her actual standoffish personality never even give Andy the time of day, s3 confirmed that she isn't bothered by jealously just Riven not giving her attention/listening to her, and the way she was so mean about his gifts??? Like I can understand not liking or wanting them but she acted like Riven was giving her gifts to make her day worse, or was trying to intentionally make her upset, when it was clearly the opposite and I am quite annoyed. Musa would never. She go "awwww, you fucking idiot. He's allergic to those flowers, come here dumbass"

And the drama this season??? Makes SOOOOOO much more sense. Riven in s2 SENT people who had a crush on her to Musa. There's no way he couldn't of not known that Jared had a small crush on the Winx, and he intentionally sent him to Musa. Maybe because he thought he wouldn't be as good of a boyfriend to her, so he was trying to help in his own Riven way. And MUSA GOT PISSED!!!! Like she was so mad that Riven did that, and that combined with the fact that she smacked the shit out of Icy in s1 over a guy she wasn't even fucking dating, makes it pretty clear that Musa was originally the one more prone to jealously (until s3 when the writers begun falling on their one arc for Riven writing crutch and never got off of it) compared to Riven and I'm SO DELIGHTED TO SEE IT COME BACK

Usually it's the guys being the dumbasses and fucking up and it's just so lovely to see my favourite girl struggle with something I struggle with too!!! Like yeah!!!! Musa definitely has some major abandonment issues, if the way she pushes people away is any indication, some major trust issues in general, her bitey demeanor towards Stella and her tendency to expect people to read her mind makes me imagine she often thinks people know how she's feeling and are intentionally trying to hurt her when that's not the case. It's just so relatable!!!!!!

God I love seeing the girls fuck up and do stupid shit and make mistakes!!! Like YES, give me the GOOD SHIT!!!! Tecna's arc and Aisha's arc in s2 we're some of the best arcs in the show, watching them learn to be kinder and stuff 🥹🥹🥹 I am literally on the floor SOBBING this is why I love them so much, anyone who doesn't like them is WRONGGGF 😭😭😭

I love it when ANY character fucks up and makes mistakes, see: Riven is my favorite specialist, but there's been too much focus on the boys problems to the point where it just seems like they should break up and it's not mutual. But it is!!!! Sure Sky is over protective to a extreme, but Bloom is flighty and avoidant to an extreme. Riven and Musa have the same amount of abandonment issues, they both get jealous, they both struggle to communicate, they both can't control their emotions, ect (which is part of the reason they'd work so well together, and not so well with other people. Take it from someone with jealousy born of fear and very bad abandonment issues, there's NOTHING like seeing someone finally care about you the same amount you do when your expecting them to drop your ass at any moment. Like I know it's wrong but I can see where Musa is coming from in s3, the situation was extreme but pretending it wasn't, someone acting jealous over me immediately calms down my fears that they'll abandon me because they wouldn't do this if they were. Listen, I could write a whole essay about how well Musa and Riven's issues fit together from experience, but for now I'll let you know really well. Like they'll both have to put in the work to make their demons play nice but someone having the same issues as you, as they obviously do, is extremely comforting offering a level of understanding no one else can offer and they ABSOLUTELY PUT IN THE WORK!!! Musa would actually be the one more stubborn about it did you see Riven getting better in s2???? A TEAR TO MY EYE) Timmy has a cowardice problem and Tecna is way too aggressive and doesn't believe in silly things like "not sacrificing yourself for nothing", and they way s2 had them meeting in the middle 😭😭😭😭 how do more people not love s2??? Nabu and Aisha have NO FUCKING SOCIAL SKILLS, IN COMPLETELY OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. Nabu is way too friendly, while Aisha is standoffish, and they both try to prove themselves by acting independently and hoping it helps like idiots shut up I'm in LOVE

Stella working on her issues with Brandon, sobbing, crying, I love s3. Want to see more of Brandon's issues please, and not that bullshit from later seasons where he's also stupid for some reason. Brandon has the most emotional intelligence of the guys and he's using it to hide his emotions, change my mind. Not to mention the way neither Helia or Flora could express their feelings without Chatta getting involved 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

For all of its stupid S5 has SUCH AMAZING MOMENTS

Like I get to see my favourite ship in this show act as a established couple and see Musa struggle with something that's been established since s1???? I'm in hysterics this is amazing

The only thing I want to take from s4 is characters and their motivations, Harmonix > Believix, every couple of episodes I see something new in s5 that's an amazing concept I want to use NOW!!! S5 is just peppered with all these amazing moments and for what???? How do you make the worst age changer sub plot I've ever seen in my fucking LIFE, right after one the best quest plot line with the test of confidence, one of the best written songs in ruby reef, and the superior Stella and Aisha are fighting subplot (looking at YOU s4); And right before one of the worst but adorable episode with one of the hands down BEST Trix spells, getting to see the boys be useful again, and THE BEST S5 FIGHT IN THE RAVINE

Do you see that??? Do you see how for every like, two god awful episodes that make me wanna scream with one or two fun things in them, there's an episode that ruins my life with amazing and interesting concepts that I am legally required to scream about???? Do you see that??? Why is s5 like this omgg, I never know if I'm going to get amazing or terrible. It's like Russian roulette

Anyways I'm obsessed with how hit and miss this season is, I'll defend it till I die but also it's awful and terrible and if you don't acknowledge all of it's crimes it will never be forgiven for weee r going to have to fight. Complexities

#winx club #winx season 5 #Rivusa #rus chatters #asks #i love character arcs so much y'all #long post #i am so sorry. i mirror people and your speech is so similar to my normal talking it makes me ramble nfksjdjsjdj

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curiositydooropened · 2 years

Text

Merry Christmas, Max

Max gets a ride home from Steve on Christmas Eve 1985.

Pairing: Max crushing on Steve, a bit of implied Steve x Nancy

Wordcount: 3630

Warnings: just sad, panicky Max stuff

No Tag List, please follow my library!

A/N: I wrote most of this like two years ago and have been trying to finish it and get it posted. So rereading it post-s4 made me really happy with a lot of the character decisions I made. Hope you enjoy as much as I did! Happy Christmas in July!

Masterlist • Library • Ao3

Christmas at the Wheeler’s, like most things at the Wheeler’s, looked like Max had stepped onto the set of one of those old fashioned, sappy holiday musicals her mom sobbed to every year. Everything was lit up, technicolor, glossed over with a rosy glow. The fireplace was lit and stoked. Five perfect, store-bought stockings hung among the boughs of holly, just under an array of Sears-booth photographs. A large tree was adorned to the tip top with tinsel and real glass ornaments. All the presents beneath glistened under gold lamé bows.

Max almost didn’t want to unwrap hers. She wanted to pull the Scotch tape as carefully as she could to keep the paper prestine. Her own presents, comic books she’d paid for with scrounged arcade change, were haphazardly taped brown parcels, carefully tied with string. Their Christmas budget was low, Mom said, because of funeral costs. They were still recovering.

Mike had gotten her a really nice sweater, which was thoughtful, too thoughtful. And Lucas got pissed until Mike explained that El had picked it out, and she’d be wearing a matching one in California. Lucas got Max a framed photo of himself, the idiot.

After presents, they enjoyed some punch and took turns on the Atari until the front door opened with a gust of cool air, and two more guests tumbled in, stomping the snow from their boots onto the entry rug.

“Mike!?” Nancy called through the house, but she needn’t look far to see the motley crew huddled in their Christmas sweaters in front of the television. Dustin and Mike were jamming their joysticks. Lucas sat on the couch beside Max, making her too warm and itchy with his arm wrapped over her shoulder.

“What!?” Mike yelled back, not seeing his sister’s entrance.

“I’m home.” Nancy was breathless, from the cold or something else, Max wasn’t sure, but the older girl’s cheeks and nose were pinched pink, and she had the start of icicles in her hair. She was out there a while. “Hi, Max,” she smiled, holding up a small hand to wave.

Max nodded a hello.

“You guys get enough to eat? Where’s Holly?” She looked around the small room for her littlest sister.

The familiar sound of a knock out called from the television, and Dustin tossed his joystick in a fit of slander and rage. Mike raised two fists in the air, triumphant, before focusing in on the annoyed teen in the room. “Shit, what?” He blinked.

“Seriously, Mike!?” Nancy huffed in retreat. They heard her footsteps hurdle up the staircase. “Holly!?!”

Max felt a twinge of panic, wondered if the rest of them prickled at the idea of a missing child. Maybe it affected them worse than her, she never knew. She hadn’t recalled seeing Holly all evening. Somewhere between the cookies and punch, maybe? When the kitchen bustled with bodies and Mrs. Wheeler smacked lips to Mike’s obstinant cheek as she and Mr. Wheeler swept off to their evening’s party.

Reluctantly, Mike stretched his long limbs from his cross-legged position on the floor and followed his older sister to investigate upstairs. Lucas, seeing an opening, found his spot beside Dustin on the living room floor.

Suddenly feeling antsy and alone, Max relieved herself and headed toward the kitchen, mumbling something about punch. Really, she wanted a better vantage of the staircase and the front door, in case something were to go awry. In the kitchen, she knew she could arm herself. She passed the entry way, a stacked flurry of puffer jackets, and her socks dampened beneath the run-off of wet snow boots. She wrinkled her nose in disgust, but continued to pad her path, peeking up the staircase for any indication of the little girl’s safety.

Max’d craned her neck so far to see up the stairs that by the time she wheeled her focus to the kitchen, she’d nearly run smack into the side of Steve Harrington, who now stood draped against the Wheeler’s island, mouth full and second Christmas cookie in hand. “Whey, Mah-,” he greeted, crumbs coating a bright blue puffer vest. He waved.

Max clutched at her chest and shook her head, moving to fill a plastic cup with punch. “Hi, Steve. What’re you doing here?” She half-paid attention to her actions, taking the new vantage point to look toward the blue staircase.

“I’m here to take Dustin home.” Steve gestured in Dustin’s vague direction with the cookie in his hand. “Is your mom coming?”

Where were the Wheelers? The hallway upstairs remained dimly lit. It seemed like Mrs. Wheeler had changed the wallpaper again, something more with-the-times. At least the lighting remained stable, no blinking, no changes. The air in the kitchen felt warm, too hot, except Max’s hand. Why would her hand be cold?

Her eyes flicked focus to her freezing hand to watch bright red punch spill over the full cup and back into the punch bowl. “Shit!” She dropped the ladle and carefully dumped punch out of her cup, standing on tiptoe to avoid spillage onto her hand-knit Christmas sweater.

“Pour much?” Steve snorted.

“Shove it, asshole,” Max sneered, setting her cup down to find one of Mrs. Wheeler’s hand towels to dry the liquid.

Steve had found it already, in anticipation for the spill, and he handed it over with a grin, using his dry, but freezing, fingers to roll up Max’s sleeve. His hands were bright red, and cold, as though he’d been outside for hours. With warmth filling her cheeks, Max mumbled a thanks and avoided glancing back up at him while she dried off. Her fingers remained sticky at the joints.

“God, Mike, you’re such a freak,” Nancy hissed at the top of the stairs. Her not-so-little brother slunk behind her, all limbs and shrugged shoulders.

“Shut up,” a small smirk met his thin lips, but he halted at the landing, bushy eyebrows furrowed into the signature Mike Wheeler grimace. “What the hell is he doing here?”

Steve rolled his eyes and reached for a third sugar cookie. He leaned once more against the counters to behead Santa before saying, “shut up, dickhead.”

Mike just rolled his eyes and followed Nancy to the kitchen to grab a handful of salted nuts.

“Was Holly okay?” Max asked softly, slipping her upper lip over the rim of her cup to slurp the excess punch from the top. It was sweet, but the fizz had flattened from hours laying stagnant in a warm house.

“Oh yeah, she’d crashed while playing Barbies.” Nancy smiled softly, cornering a star between dainty eye teeth. “God, those were the days, weren’t they?”

Max hummed a smile, chest loosening in relief. She’d never had Barbies growing up, well, one or two, because Mom wanted her to, but she was always more into skinning her knees and jamming buttons at the arcade.

A cry of victory shook the house from the family room, and Mike quickly hurried off to congratulate the winner, or take his turn, and Max took a deep breath before deciding if she wanted to follow. She glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. It was getting late, and if she wanted to make it home by curfew, she should probably get going soon. At least, if Neil was sober and awake, which was more and more unlikely nowadays.

“Steve,” Nancy gasped, covering a chuckle with the back of her hand. “You’ve got… tree…” She laughed and reached to pull an assortment of twigs from Steve Harrington’s famous brown locks. His dark eyes screwed upward to watch the action, and upon noticing the culprit, he quickly checked his hair with his hands. His immediate panic sent Nancy into a fit of giggles.

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes, but Max noticed the fondest of smiles breech the corners of his pink lips. He watched Nancy laugh before lifting a hand to her curls. “Shit, you do too.” He snorted and pulled some juniper from her hair as well.

The room felt very tight, like all of the air had been sucked from it. The last laugh fell from Nancy’s lips, and Max held her breath simultaneously, too embarrassed to make a noise. She watched Steve’s hand pick at twigs and berries, and the items pebbled on the linoleum at their socked feet.

His hands were big, overtaking Nancy’s petit face and frame, as they ghosted her cheek and neck and arm, and finally fell to his sides. Max could feel herself trembling, curiosity fluttering somewhere in her stomach, wondering if Steve’s hand would feel the same as Lucas’s in hers, or if it was tougher, more experienced. She wondered how she’d feel tucked under one of his arms on the couch, the way she had been with Lucas. She wondered if she’d feel stuffy and hot, or comfortable, safe.

“Max,” Steve’s voice snapped her out of it, and she felt her face flood with heat. She darted her eyes around the room, trying to look anywhere but him until she realized he’d address her.

“Huh?” She cleared her throat. “What?”

“Is your mom coming to get you?”

It took her a few moments to realize what he was asking, while her brain switched gears. She shook her head, taking another sip of punch. “Mmm, no. She’s at the party too. I’m going to skate home.”

“Uh, no you’re not.” Steve shook his head.

“What?”

“It’s a friggin’ blizzard outside, shit brains. I’ll give you a ride home.”

“I’ll be fine, asshole,” Max rolled her eyes, but her confidence waned as she glanced toward the blackness of the kitchen window. The corners of it were illuminated with a fresh dusting of snow. She chewed the inside of her cheek.

“Whatever. When’s your curfew?” Steve asked.

Max stared back at the clock on the wall. “Half hour?”

Steve ran a hand through his mane. “Shit. Fine. Go grab Dustin, let’s go.”

With a huff of obstinance, Max tipped the rest of her punch into the sink and tossed her cup into the quickly-filling garbage can. She tried not to notice Nancy hadn’t moved from her close proximity to Steve. She tried not to notice the looks the older two were giving each other as she left the room. She tried not to notice the pang of jealousy she felt as she moved out of eye sight.

She thought of turning back, of peeking through the slats in the banister and catching a secret moment, but she thought better of it and made a mental note to tell El tomorrow. She gathered her bag of presents and peeled Dustin’s gaze from the television long enough to help him do the same. Her mind lingered on the teens in the kitchen, wondering if love got easier or harder the older she got.

Lucas kept his untrained eyes on the television, jamming buttons while his girlfriend and best friend made for the entry way to begrudgingly pull damp snowshoes on over wool socks. Max perched herself on the bottom step and yawned through the first boot. She glanced sideways to see the older teens entering from the kitchen. Steve pulled his jacket from the ground, wet spots still fresh and dark green against the emerald.

“You shit heads ready?” He grinned, too wide, too happy. So happy he winked at Max, who shot him furrowed eyebrows as a blushed response.

“What’s your deal?” Dustin scoffed, never one to let an uncharacteristically enthused expression go unnoticed.

“Nothing, shut up. Put your coat on.” Steve sighed, slamming down the front bill of Dustin’s cap.

Dustin huffed a response and struggled for his jacket.

Steve reached to the ground to find Max’s. The puff split down one side and was haphazardly duct taped together like her skateboard, and the entire thing looked ridiculous against the pristine image of Steve Harrington. He held it out for her to slip her arms into, and she did so, one after the other, her back up against his tall, strong front, their jackets puffed between them.

His fingers, now warm, brushed her neck upon her coat’s release, and she shuddered at the touch, immediately stepping out of his range. She grappled for her bag, and the skateboard propped against the wall and grumbled for them all to leave already.

“Bye, Mike! Thanks for Christmas! Bye, Nancy!” Dustin screeched throughout the house.

Nancy swatted at him, not unkindly. “Shhh, Holly’s sleeping.”

“Sorry,” Dustin grinned. “Merry Christmas, Nancy.”

“Merry Christmas, Dustin. Merry Christmas, Max.”

Max smiled and nodded. She lingered behind Dustin for a moment, waiting to hear the scramble of feet from the family room, but found no such luck. She sighed. Maybe being single for the holidays was just the icing on the cake from the shit year she’d had since July. Weird emotions struck her, tickled at her throat, and she shouldered past Dustin and into the cold.

Steve was right. A thick layer of white brightened the air, frosted her cheeks, tickled at her nose hairs. She blinked into the blanket, trying to decide the best coarse of action to keep her jeans dry. The lights from the garage glowed warm against the icy driveway. Already, Steve’s car was cast in a thin layer, windshield wiping in vain. The engine rolled from the cold.

His headlights exposed an odd patch of snow behind of the bushes at the front of the yard, packed like something had laid and almost attempted snow angels, though perhaps something had barreled through to destroy them. Amid the snow were twigs and berries.

Dustin forged ahead in a flurry of polyester, eager to get out of the snow and into the warmth of Steve’s car. With a groan, Max followed in his wake, hiking her skateboard up her hip to keep it dry. Dustin shouted shot gun, and the two of them collapsed into respective seats, breathless from the cold, stamping their boots onto the sideboard. Before Max closed her door, she noticed Nancy and Steve lingering in the doorway to the Wheeler’s home. Nancy’s fingers were wrapped around the lapel of his jacket. She fell back on flat feet from her tiptoes.

Max slammed the car door and fresh snow fell to the driveway outside. The window cleared, and they watched Steve sprint back to his car, entering the fray in gasps and laughter.

“What was that about?” Dustin asked.

“What?” Steve sighed. He swung an arm back to Max in the backseat to retrieve the scraper from beside her. “Be right back.”

“Don’t think you can avoid the subject, Steve!” Dustin yelled, but the car door was slammed in his face. He grumbled and turned back to Max. The smile on his impish features was too solemn, something Max had grown used to from all of the boys lately. “Sorry about Lucas.”

Max sighed, crossed her arms over her chest. “Who?”

Dustin cackled. “Ooh, that’s ice cold.”

The snow swept from the windshield with ease, dribbling down the hood, warm from the engine-block, and Steve made to scrape the side mirrors and back window next. He flashed Max a grin and a wink, and she felt her face heat from the warmth of the car and her oversized parka. She rolled her eyes and waited for his return so they could go already.

Safely buckled, they inched slowly out of the Wheelers’ driveway, Steve watching behind him with one hand over Dustin’s headrest. Once safely in the street, they took off at an amble toward the Hendersons’ bungalow.

The dimly lit homes glowed with holiday cheer. Christmas trees were lit behind frosted glass, and Steve hunkered to his steering wheel to peer through the snow that rushed at them like the Millennium Falcon in hyper speed. Dustin knew better than to distract him with too much chatter, and Max was grateful for the silence to process the thoughts of the evening bumbling through her head.

When they reached the driveway, Dustin wished her a Merry Christmas, and he warned Steve they’d have to talk about the shit with Nancy, and Steve flipped him off before the younger boy slammed the door and made his way up the steps to his home.

And then there were two. Steve turned to face her, again with his arm over the passenger’s headrest, and he nodded that mess of hair toward the seat beside him. “Wanna move up? So I don’t feel like a chauffeur.”

Max sighed, and crawled herself, dripping shoes first, over Steve’s center console and into the cushy passenger’s seat of his BMW.

“I meant get out, but sure…” Steve gave her a toothy grin, far more cheerful than he would have been if Mike or Lucas had trudged snow boots over the leather. Max wondered if it was her, or the night he’d seemed to be having before she caught he and Nancy in the kitchen.

The heater was warmer from here, a blast of hot air into an already warmed face, and she turned to buckle her seatbelt, catching her own reflection in the window as they backed out of the driveway. With her ruddy hair frizzing out beneath her hat, she was sure Nancy was the only one making Steve smile this holiday season. She sunk deeper into her jacket, and watched the delicate pass of each windshield wiper as they headed toward their homes.

“So, do you guys have any fun Christmas traditions?” Steve asked about a block from Dustin’s.

Max shrugged, thought about their traditions, and her heart sank a bit into that familiar pit she’d been getting used to over the last half a year. “We used to um… I used to decorate the tree with…”

“Oh shit, Max, Jesus,” Steve ran a hand over his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” she shrugged, biting back the emotions building at the back of her throat. She learned to quit crying a few months ago, learned it didn’t help, didn’t bring her brother back. “Do you have any fun Christmas traditions?”

“My parents usually go on this long ski trip. This year it’s like the Alps or some shit. Robin’s trying to talk me into having dinner with her family, but they like play charades. They’re all hyper. Every god damn one of them.” He was hunched over the steering wheel for better visuals, but he managed to gesticulate the way Max noticed he did, a frantic wave of those large, strong hands.

“Sounds like a nightmare.” She snorted.

“I know!” He smiled at her then, just before his face fell. It was the same pity that filled her chest with panic, rolled her stomach, stung in her eyes. “Hey,” he started in. “You know I’m like… I just mean, like… I know you think I’m an asshole…” He ran a hand through his messy hair. A juniper berry rolled out and into her lap.

“Steve,” Max groaned. She squeezed the berry between two fingers, and it popped a juicy lime green mess.

“I’m just saying!” He held up his hands in defense. “I’m actually really cool, and if you need to talk, I’m a pretty good confidant. Just ask Robin.” His voice tapered off then, like he’d given away too much information.

An awkward silence fell between them when Max didn’t respond, too embarrassed. The fans whirred, pumping heat into the cab, and the snow crunched between the tires, and faint Christmas carols could be heard on the radio, volume too low to make out specifics.

When they reached Max’s house, she mumbled a thanks and clumsily grasped for the door handle. The snow outside a relief to her warm cheeks. She was about to slam the door, to escape up the yard to the front steps, when Steve called her name from inside the car. She turned on her heel to see his face split into a friendly smile.

“Merry Christmas.”

She raised her eyebrows and nodded. “Thanks for the ride.” And then she closed the door and trudged through the snow to the house.

—

Christmas Morning was all waffles and comic books, tucked under an oversized sweater and her rainbow print sheets. Neil hadn’t seen the light of day in months, and Mom had an emergency shift, and none of them really wanted to talk about the missing piece to their family puzzle.

It was nearly noon before Max left her room again. The doorbell sounded from the front room, and a chill spread through her. She could almost hear the phantom call of her brother commanding her to get the door. Slipping out from her covers, she tiptoed down the hall, past a snoring Neil, and swung open the front door.

Her bare legs prickled from the rush of cold, and she hugged her arms to herself, frowning at a visitor-free stoop. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she stepped out onto the frigid concrete landing with bare feet to see who had ding-dong ditched.

Rushing down the path to a maroon BMW was Robin, dressed from bottom to top as a tinsel-covered Christmas tree. Before she opened the passenger’s side door, she turned to wave at Max and yell, “Merry Christmas!”

Max waved, confused, and watched as the two teens sped away, tires slipping on the icy lane. When they’d pulled around the corner, and her toes threatened to fall off, she noticed a gift leaning against the house, just underneath the doorbell.

A bright red, satin ribbon had been tied around a brand new skateboard. The wheels were bright blue, and the underside was a technicolor of swirls that matched her bedspread. No duct tape, no splintered wood, no explanation for the swoop in her stomach and the smile spreading across her face.

#stranger things #stranger things fic #max mayfield #max mayfield fic #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #stancy #max likes steve #billy hargrove #minor max x lucas #christmas fic #christmas in july fic #merry christmas max

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idle-compy · 2 years

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s5 spoiler review ahead!!

Ok, so I didn't do a review while watching this time so we'll see how much I remember. Also, this is probably more of me talking about my favorite moments rather than a review

First of all, this season was so much better than 4. It actually developed the characters and focused on their relationships with each other. I loved the fact that the characters felt real. They were joking around, trying to have fun when it wasn't really the time. They were being kids. Also, so much more dinosaurs and so much less robots.

Yasammy canon?!?!?! I mean I knew it was gonna happen but when it happened?? Ya girl lost her mind. The kiss??? Absolutely spectacular. Sammy pretending like the didn't hear Yaz so she would repeat her confession?? They're secret "I love you" language?? I will never recover

And on that note, Ben being absolutely the perfect person for Yaz to go to about it. He knew exactly what to say and the scenes of him trying to get them together were so wholesome but also lowkey hilarious

And Ben in general?? Like they somehow took perfect s4 Ben and made him more perfect. Also that scene where Bumpy was going after him while controlled was insane. The way Ben was just going to accept his fate, but not blame Bumpy because she couldn't help it, and then she managed to break control of the chip so she wouldn't have to hurt him :'))

Also I'm so glad that Darius finally got to process and talk about his feeling with someone. Him lashing out at Kenji?? He has been way overdue for all that. I did appreciate that this season adressed the fact that he shoves his feelings down

Brand, Dave, and Roxie showing up early in the season was absolutely perfect. Even though it took them until the last episode to actually find them, I loved getting to watch the lead up to that. Also, Mae working with them was perfect

Mae was also a delight once again this season. The way she was willing to sacrifice herself to Nublar if it meant Mantah Corp not getting what they want. Absolutely iconic of her

Kenji's dad just kept getting more and more awful. Everything you think he couldn't get worse he did. It was hard to watch him lie and manipulate Kenji to get what he wanted. That showdown scene between him and Kenji at the plane?? He couldn't even tell his son he cared about him or that he loved him, and barely put up a fight to get Kenji on that plane before just leaving him there

I actually liked Kenji's development. Watching him slowly fall into this mold his father was making him into, working really hard just to make his dad happy, just to realize he cared about his business and his name more than his own child. The end where he realized he didn't really have parents anymore was painful

But, while it's depressing, he got a better family!!! Seeing Darius' mom take him in instantly made me cry so much

On that note, the reunions scenes!! When Darius and Brand saw each other again?? That's when my tears started and then didn't stop for the rest of the episode. Also seeing how excited Dave and Roxie got to see these kids they only knew for a week, and then the kids reuniting with their parents. I was just a sobbing mess by then

When it cut to grown Darius giving a speech, I just broke. He's grown so much!! And then Kenji was still there!! Living with him!! They're brothers!! And they we got to see the rest of the campfam??? Sammy and Yaz live together, Ben's off working alongside dinos with Mae, and Brooklynn's a detective?? Perfect. All of it. Except for Yaz, Sammy, and Ben's designs?? Yaz and Sammy just looked cheap (Sammy was still in the same shirt) and, I don't know, just wasn't really digging Ben's

Ok, now for some smaller things I loved that I can remember

Darius cried!! Three times!! Finally!!

"But have you ever though about that maybe you want be more than best friends?" "Um, Yaz. Bumpy's a dinosaur? I just don't think it would work"

Also Ben's awful accents?? Peak

Brands new jacket!!

I know I mentioned it above, BUT THE YASAMMY KISS?? I will never stop thinking about it

"I've been trying to tell you something all day just waiting for the perfect moment, but there are no perfect moments and even though I probably still smell like the tunnel and it looks like you have nothosaurus drool in your hair and Ben is standing right there... I can't wait another minute to tell you how I feel!!"

The kids creating a new watering hole for the dinos!! And they dived off the cliff into it!! And Yasammy jumped together!! Holding hands!!

The Nublar Six. That's all I'm gonna say

Ok this is all I can think of for now!! It will probably be updated throughout the day

#jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous #jwcc spoilers #s5 spoilers #jwcc #s5 #c posts

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madwoman14 · 2 years

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Hi friend! Super long literati rambling incoming:

Why didnt Rory get back with Jess? At Season 4, at their brief interaction, Jess literally confesses his love to her. Later Jess says that ever since he left Stars Hollow, Rory could have contacted him. And he’s right. Despite that, he swallows his pride and (in a very poorly handled manner) approaches her again. But no, she is more concerned about Dean being mad. She very clearly chooses Dean over Jess, despite Dean being a worse option due to him being married.

I get that initially she was mad at him, and believed that giving him a chance was wrong. Going back to Dean was her trying to fix that ‘mistake’. But long after all of that, she had countless chances of going back to Jess the way she did to Dean. There was all the more reason bc they only broke up due to circumstances. But its like the prospect never crosses her mind. Im not judging her or anything, im genuinely curious. Is she just not interested in him anymore? Cause we all know how whipped Jess is for her, even decades later.

okay hmm if this is about the "proposal" i'm going to have to respectfully disagree hehe. i think if they had gotten together, if rory had dropped everything and run away with him we never would've gotten the aspect of literati that makes me ship them. as a geniune rory and jess stan before a literati shipper, i think if they had gotten together at this point in the show, it would have disrupted both character arcs. you're right he approaches her in a very poor manner., and call me optimistic but i think jess never intended to ask her to run away with him. but he saw dean and sort of lost his cool.

i think this scene was pivotal for both their characters. rory had always been this very methodical and pragmatic person. we'd always seen her making pro and con lists and i think that's why she didn't pick jess again. jess mariano had hurt her last time, it was simple trial and error in her mind. it makes sense that she didn't go back to him, but i wouldn't say she isn't done with him, i don't think she'll ever be as much as i hate dean forrester, when thinking about why rory goes back to him, i see his appeal (it hurts so much to say that, i am physically gagging). he's safe, he's lorelai approved (remember what happened with the guy lorelai didn't approve), he's comfortable and he said he's done with lindsey and that his marriage is already over. it's familiar and comforting during a time when her academic identity is being questioned and that can really hurt a rory gilmore

as much as it hurts to see milo act his heart out in that scene, it's so satisfying. i've always thought that final "no" from rory is what jumpstarts the transformation we don't see that leads to season 6 blazer Jess Mariano. she indirectly puts him on track to a successful life, and when we see him again in season 6 he's so at peace and put together, he's so open to communicating. "i couldn't have done it without you" and that all can be traced back to when they didn't get together in S4. he needed to find himself before they could get together.

that's what i like about literati. their relationship transcends the realm a normal romantic relationship in my eyes. weird way to put it but they really were each other's enzymes. jess' "why did you drop out of yale" speech expedited and supported rory coming back to yale. she probably would have returned to yale but he made it happen faster. enzymes are essential to the human body we would die without them. they are each other's fiercest defenders first, lovers second.

i don't think i was ever upset during that scene. now one scene that bothers me is the paul anka scene because they're both ready, but its okay, i've got a million fix-it fics that i can read and sob. and if they didn't get together then, they got together after ayitl shhh. they're narrative arcs are too interwoven to suggest anything different. it's a full-circle moment.

okay now that i'm ranting i might as well rant about the whole teen jess didn't deserve teen rory and adult rory didn't deserve adult jess bs. i hate that argument. it goes against everything i know about love from the books. people, fictional or not, can't be deserved. more on this later, post is way too long lmao

i thought i was done with this couple apparently not lol, when am i not talking about them. gonna post without proofreading my thoughts, sorry to the beautiful mind who attempts to read this mess i love you

#cindy rambles #they mean so much to me #literati #gilmore girls #rory gilmore #jess mariano #they're my babies i will defend them to my death #and also i love m!

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highspeedclownery · 1 year

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Moonriver

Fandom: Sherlock

Warnings: Character Death, Major Angst

Pairings: Implied Johnlock

Notes: I wrote this pre-s4 using inspo from trailers etc

Sherlock hadn't really thought about it before, but he really loathes hospitals. Despite spending hours there for his own research through the years, he cannot really stand the bright lighting, the gleaming white, sterile environment. The light really brought out everyone's worse features and he is sure he must look a state by the way Molly is looking at him. Pity, sorrow, and underlying hint of anger - all this he can see, conveyed by her eyes. His fingers quiver on their ascent to scratch at his jaw, weeks of neglecting to reach for the razor blade has left him with itchy stubble peppering his face.

"Show me." He repeats. Even his voice sounds rough to his own ears.

Molly can see that her attempts to turn Sherlock away are futile. Not for the first time, she berates herself for not being that little bit more confident. Legally, she doesn't have to show Sherlock and she would do anything to get out of this situation, but looking at him stood there, an already defeated man clinging to his composure, what else can she do? Wordlessly, she turns to the trolley and folds back the sheet, revealing the cadaver beneath. Her eyes close, face slightly crumpling as she fights to remain professional. She expects to hear a sob, a wail and somehow that would be better than the silence and stillness that engulfs the room. Sucking in a breath, she dares to open her eyes and in that moment, she wishes that she didn't.

Contorted in horror, Sherlock's features are void of colour, eyes stricken and disbelieving. His lips part but no sound comes out. Molly cannot keep the tears at bay as she watches him lift his hands to face, covering his mouth and for a moment she thinks he might be sick. Instead he trembles, his breath finally coming out in tremulous bursts between his fingers. He's shaking his head, still no words though and Molly covers the body up again quickly.

"Sherlock, I'm sorry..."

He's backing away now, eyes moist with unshed. Doubling over as if in severe pain, a strangled sound breaks his silence. Molly is at his side in an instant. Sherlock shakes his head again and pulls himself away, blindly turning towards the exit, staggering away, deaf to Molly's pleas to wait. He leaves the hospital in a blurred frenzy, tumbling through the dark streets with no real destination in mind. The rest of the world fizzes away, leaving him with just himself and an indescribable pain.

His feet carry him to a residential area, where his pace slows as numbness takes over. His head spins and he grasps onto a lamppost for support before continuing, not stopping again until he reaches a sheltered bus stop. Here he collapses on the hard plastic bench, body pressed against the back wall.

"Oh dear, you've got yourself into a right state now."

Sherlock stills. That woman's voice sounds oddly familiar...

"When was the last time you had a shave?"

Familiar or not, Sherlock is not in the mood for conversation of any kind. "Go away."

The voice sighs. "Oh pishposh, there'll be plenty of time to go away later. At least let me see your face."

An irritated knot forms between Sherlock's brows as he turns to glare at the woman. "Who exactly are you?" He snaps and then to his surprise, she simply laughs, smiling fondly at him.

Cold ice prickles underneath his skin at that sound. He knows that sound very well. He gazes back at the woman and this time, really looks. Age, possibly late thirties - early forties. Long hair, red dress, crutch, glasses... he squints a little harder and she helps by removing her glasses. His breath catches in his throat.

No. This isn't.. Did he fall and hit his head?

"Sherlock," she scolds playfully. "I thought you're supposed to be clever."

"M-Mrs Hudson?" Those were definitely her eyes but, how? Is he hallucinating? Did he fall and hit his head?

"Yes dear. Although, I was just Martha back when I was this spring chicken you see before you. Not bad, hey?" She smiles and it's even more clear that this is his landlady. No one can replicate that smile. It doesn't stop his nerves from being shaken however. He had just seen the real Mrs Hudson at the hospital, lifeless and certainly not smiling. He slides away slightly on the seat. "You're dead."

Martha pulls a face at that. "I suppose I am. It happens to the best of us, there isn't any avoiding it. Anyway, I brought us some chips because I don't care about ruining my figure and you look like you're wasting away." Reaching into her bag, Martha brings out two trays of chips, handing one to Sherlock who hasn't stopped staring. "Come on, eat."

The tray of food is warm in his lap and he finally drags his gaze away his young landlady to unwrap his chips. He eats robotically and from the way his stomach churns, he concedes that maybe it's high time he did eat. He can feel Mrs Hudson's eyes on him, feel the warmth of her pleased smile and he manages a small, nervous smile in return. I am truly losing my mind, he thinks to himself. This is not a situation he would ever imagine himself being in and the whole evening, right from hearing the tragic news of Mrs Hudsons death, has been surreal. A living nightmare.

"I used to live around here." Martha gestures to the dimly lit houses. "I never did spend too much time at home mind. I liked to go out and experience life. I've been around the block a few times. I was a really catch in my twenties did you know?" She laughs and points to her crutch. "Of course I wasn't so much hip-hop as hip-op." Sherlock grimaces at the terrible pun which makes her laugh more. "..and you know all about my husbands."

"And your girlfriend." Sherlock adds with a conspiratorial arch of the brow.

"Ah yes, good old Mags. She had seven cats - lovely little things but shed everywhere. We had our first date not far from here, come on I'll show you." Martha is already up before Sherlock can protest and so he follows, falling into step beside her, both still picking at their chips. Their walk takes them to a pedestrian bridge that stretches across the Thames, light conversation of days gone by filling the otherwise quiet. Martha does most of the talking, Sherlock simply listening, still feeling numb and disconnected from himself. She tells him of her youthful escapades, her ups and downs, the faces she has met and the places she has been. It is with some regret, that Sherlock realises he didn't know Mrs Hudson as well as he should have.

After discarding their empty trays into a bin, Martha loops her arm through Sherlock's and leans into him slightly. He finds he doesn't mind. It makes him feel a grounded while the world wants to throw him off his feet. After walking a little further in companionable silence, Sherlock finds his voice. "Why are you here?"

Martha stops and turns to him, her eyes shine with fondness but there's a lingering sadness there too. "Because you're lonely, Sherlock. You're unhappy."

"I'm fine." It's an automatic response, something he's well versed in saying. He looks off, away into the distance.

"I only wish that were the truth but it's clear to everyone that cares about you that you're not. Far from it. You haven't been for a while, have you?"

"Why are you doing this?" The distress strains his voice and he looks at her pleadingly.

"Sherlock, I don't want you to give up. Don't give up on him. He makes you happy, you come alive when he's around. Everything's a big old mess, I know, but don't do this to yourself."

Beside her, Sherlock bristles slightly, shoulders pulling rigid.

"I've seen the way you look at him, like he's the most precious thing in the world. I notice -"

"But he chose her!" Sherlock had meant to sound angry but his words falter as his voice cracks. A sharp exhale follows and he's turning his back, blinking away tears. "He chose her and she's going to hurt him. I don't know how, I don't know when but its coming and I don't know if I can watch him break again."

"Now listen here Sherlock Holmes." Martha rounds on him, a sternness that reminds him of his own mother in her eyes. "I have put up with a lot over the years but I cannot watch you hurt yourself like this. That Mary or whatever her real name is, when she hurts John, when he 'breaks' you're going to be there. You're going to take John and put him back together again. That's what you do for people you love."

"What if I can't?"

"Love always finds a way, Sherlock. It may take time, these things always do but in the end, it's always you two isn't it? John is worth that isn't he?"

Sherlock nods. He had already worked out many moons ago that he would lay down and die for John Watson. The man had walked into his life and turned it upside down and inside out. He took a real, unguarded interest in Sherlock's life instead of sneering and calling him a freak. John Watson is extraordinary and holds Sherlock's fascination more than any bacterial growth on a slide ever could. Before John, there was nothing but a sea of faces and a suffocating need for something more to fill the ever-present void. Life was bleak, he was alone. John saved him, in many ways and life without him is.. unthinkable.

"He might not want.. it might be too much." There have been times when Sherlock has seen glimpse of returned affection from John but nothing solid enough to ease his mind and any hope of something more between them was crushed with the arrival of Mary.

"If you keep running away and keeping him in the dark, I agree with you dear." Martha says bluntly. "You've been keeping him at a distance and he doesn't understand why. He's upset, Sherlock. He's been wondering if you're using again, he's worried. Forget about Mary, cross that road when you get to it, just talk to him. Let him know you're still here."

Sherlock turns to rest his arms on the railings and looks down at the dark waters below. It looks oddly inviting. He swallows. "It's not just Mary though. There's the baby as well."

"Not John's."

A moment of stunned silence. "How?"

"A woman knows, Sherlock."

"...that will kill him." The revelation sends a trickle of fear down his spine and just as quickly, a flare of anger has him gripping the rails so hard his knuckles turn white. "How could she do this to him? Is it not enough that -" He swallows thickly again. "How did I not know? And John? He's a doctor!"

Martha's hand covers his own and she squeezes gently. "These things happen and that is why John needs you and you're going to be there for him."

Blinking, Sherlock sags, suddenly feeling exhausted and drained. For the next few minutes the pair remain resting against the rails, looking out across the Thames. The future had always been uncertain for Sherlock but back in the old days, he only had himself to account for and honestly, he saw no future for himself. The thought of sending himself to sleep and never waking up had invaded his mind many a lonely night and it would have been a likely outcome had Mike not walked in with John that fateful day. Fate isn't something Sherlock would normally consider since it didn't follow any rules and defied logic. There was no science behind it and yet somehow, it's comforting to think some higher power may have intervened in his downward spiral. Maybe it is fate that Mrs Hudson is here with him now while her body lies cold on a sterile trolley.

Allowing his eyes to close, Sherlock basks in peace that her presence brings, no matter how fleeting it may be, he wants to cherish this. The distant city sounds are muted enough for him to appreciate the gentle lapping of water and the whisper of a breeze. Then another sound drifts to his ears and lifting his head, he realises it's not his imagination. He can hear music. Violin and piano. He knows the melody well. Moonriver. The music is hauntingly beautiful and tears once again fill the rims of his eyes. This is one of the songs he learned especially for Mrs Hudson for her birthday.

She taps his arm.

"I have to go soon dear but before I do, dance with me?" She looks at him, a bright smile on her face despite the wetness of her eyes. How can he deny her?

Sniffing, he takes her hand and guides her away from the railings. With one hand resting on her waist he waits for her to mirror him and then they begin. It's as easy as breathing. They float gracefully, their movements fluid and practiced. The music carries them and for the first time in a long while, Sherlock feels lighter. He smile through the tears that track down his cheeks, treasures Mrs Hudsons laughs as he swoops and dips her. It's a wonderful, liberating feeling.

Time is lost as they dance, the notes of moon river seeming to go on forever. Sherlock doesn't want it to end, dancing is a passion he rarely gets to enjoy. The last time he danced.. was teaching John. His smile wavers.

"Sherlock. You know I have to go, don't you?"

Wait. No. Not yet! He wants to plead and that heavy feeling returns with full force, stealing his breath and squeezing his heart.

"Don't look at me like that. You know I don't like to see you upset." The music fades and their dance comes to halt. Martha cups his face and wipes at his tears. "Do you know, I always wanted children. It was always one of my biggest regrets but you Sherlock, I always saw you like a son. I love you like you were my own flesh and blood. My handsome, clever boy." She presses a kiss to his cheek as a small sob escapes him.

"I want you to know that you are loved by more people than you think. I want you to look after yourself, talk to John. Don't give up on him, never give up. You both deserve happiness and I know it's not out of reach. Go easy on that brother of yours too. I don't agree with everything he does but I know underneath all that ice, he cares for you. Promise me Sherlock."

"...I'm so scared." He admits, sobbing and shuddering, his throat tight and chest heavy.

"I know darling, but it's going to alright. It really is. You just need to let go, alright?"

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you too. John as well but you know I'm always going to be here." She places her palm against his chest where his heart is somehow still beating. Then her arms are circling him and embraces her back, eyes squeezing tightly shut.

When he opens them again, he is alone.

A pain rips through him, hot and sharp and doubles over, a scream tearing from his throat as he clutches his chest. His knees buckle and he sinks to the floor, the world crashing down around him.

He doesn't know how much time has passed when his phone trills in his pocket. A call. It takes a moment for his eyes to focus on the screen.

John.

Habit tells him to ignore it, like he has many times before but Mrs Hudson's face flickers in his mind and he steels himself to accept the call. He promised her. He's going to do this. He presses the green button.

"Sherlock? Oh thank god. Thank god. I've just had word of Lestrade. I can't believe - where are you?.. Sherlock?"

"I'm coming home."

#sherlock #bbc sherlock #johnlock #my writing

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cainightfics · 2 years

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I just watched s4e4 and I'm terribly upset. Don't you think Tyrell's death was just for the drama? Of course, it showed his love for Elliot, but, you know, it was clear from his behavior even before that. Tyrell is impulsive and inconsiderate, especially when it comes to Elliot. But is he really so reckless as to break into Elliot's apartment and reveal the plan?

i agree that tyrells choice to give up and die seemed odd, especially considering that at the end of s3, he realizes hes been used by the dark army and wants revenge. i REALLY wished he had played a larger part in taking down whiterose. he would have been perfect for it—his new position at e corp, as well as his access to deus group meetings, put him in an excellent place to serve as a double agent for elliot. i agree the scene in elliots apartment seemed overly impulsive—tyrell should have tried to get elliot out into a public area to talk about his plan, but then again, he did also confess to murdering sharon knowles after breaking into elliots apartment in s1, so idk. i would imagine that the dark army were only watching elliot in s4, not tyrell, since elliot was the wildcard whiterose was constantly unsure about. thus, tyrell was likely unaware that the dark army could be following elliot, since they werent following him personally.

in terms of elliots storyline, though, tyrells death was important. its the first time in s4 hes actually pushed to cry. he openly sobs after tyrell dies, and cant wash the blood off of his hands. i think tyrells death (which was, in many ways, a sort of suicide—like you say, he took the dangerous side of the van to protect elliot, and refused medical help because he knew the dark army would be suspicious) really made elliot consider his own selfishness. tyrell was the only person who really loved him (excluding darlene, of course, but sibling love is different, and their relationship was also strained at the time) so to see him give up affected elliot. i think his choice to leave tyrell there instead of forcing him to get help/trying harder to save him really haunted elliot throughout the rest of the season. you can see this very explicitly in the final few episodes, but i wont spoil that for you.

so yes, i agree that tyrells end was weird. i think a lot of characters were hastily dropped in the beginning of s4, tyrell and angela being the most obvious. this is a shame, because i far preferred their storylines to doms, who got a lot of screentime in s4. angela and tyrell felt very complex in their motivations—theyve done horrible things, but you feel bad for them because theyve been so manipulated and influenced. dom, on the other hand, felt like a very upright and moral character to me. her greatest concern is protecting her family, and thats it. its a noble goal, sure, but eh, its pretty boring in comparison to two characters who have become cultish followers, believing in fantastical things like time travel and godhood, only to have their beliefs shot down as they are forced to realize theyve been played.

to be honest, i think there should have been 5 seasons. i also thought the whole introduction of the deus group felt odd and kind of silly. a lot of the shows complexity was pared back to make s4 fast and snappy. i sort of struggle to reconcile s3, which was so dark and despondent (think irving telling mr robot that attempts at revolution are pointless because the rich are financially cushioned from experiencing chaos), with s4, where things wrapped up so conveniently and easily. idk, thats just my opinion though. i appreciate s4 for being a whirlwind of a ride, and it has some of my favourite episodes of the series, but the season overall felt weak in comparison to s3 in terms of plot and character arcs. even worse was the way the show lost a lot of its political bite. s4 is basically capitalist realism. the problems are blamed on a small set of people, the deus group, rather than the system itself, which encourages exploitation. so what if you take down evil corp and whiterose? something else, maybe even something worse, will eventually rise to take its place. price even says this in s3, too—elliots vigilanteism and targeted attacks arent good enough, he has to inspire a full-on anticapitalist revolution.

i feel like a better ending for s4e4 is tyrell gets shot, elliot rushes him to the hospital in the crashed, but still working, van, and they have to scramble to clean up their mess afterward so it doesnt get back to whiterose. this would still force elliot to realize he does care about tyrell, while also keeping tyrell alive. i wont spoil anything for the rest of s4, because youre still watching it, but there are certain episodes later where i feel like tyrell could have been SO USEFUL in. tyrell was always such a mysterious but unfalteringly loyal character. i think he could have been a really great emotional force for elliot in s4.

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titanicsimp · 3 years

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Hello! If it's ok, can I please request canonverse hcs for Zeke, (post-s4) Reiner, Colt, Porco, and Erwin as new dads? S/o is also a fellow Warrior/Scout and so they encourage the dad to spend time with their newborn as their time is limited. How would they care and coddle for their respective little beans? I just want fluff amongst all the angst the current season is handing out by the bucket >< Thanks!

This is such a cute idea. Writing it made me all soft 🥺🥺

Headcanons of Zeke, Reiner, Colt, Porco, & Erwin as new dads.

CW: None

Zeke was not planning on having a child. He never saw himself as the type that could be a father, he had barely had one himself growing up. But, when his child was born, everything changed. As soon as your baby reached up it’s little hands and grabbed at his beard, he knew he could do this. He would give this child everything he missed growing up.

He’s scared to hold the baby for more than a few minutes at first. What if they start crying or he doesn’t hold them right? Only after reassuring him multiple times that he’s doing fine will he keep the baby in his arms.

The thought that he might mess up terrifies him, so he goes to his grandmother to ask for help. He wants to know all about what’s best for babies, and how he can improve so he can be a good father.

Only you and him can hold the baby, no exceptions. Others, including family, can look at the baby but he doesn’t trust anybody else with holding it.

When both of you are forced to leave the baby for warrior duties, he’s besides himself with worry. What if something happens? What if someone hurts his child? As soon as the two of you get back from your mission you go to get your baby. As you hold your child, he’ll hug you both, pressing a kiss to their little head.

Zeke takes the baby to meetings. He’ll be swaddling them softly in his arms while he discusses battle plans like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

He’s definitely teaching the baby to misbehave by tempting them to grab his hair. It’s just so cute to him to see them determinedly ball their little fist while giving him toothless smiles.

He likes watching the baby while they sleep. Their face so peaceful and their little legs kicking softly now and then. Having a child with you has changed him, and in those moments he can feel the change the best. He feels that with the two of you by his side, he could let everything else be.

Reiner is a sobbing mess from the moment you tell him you are pregnant, and when he finally gets to see his little one it just gets worse. He’s just so amazed by how he created something so beautiful and pure.

He’s a very active dad, taking the baby off your hands whenever you allow it. He loves all the time he gets to spend with his child, even if it means changing a diaper.

He wishes you both could just settle down with your little family, but he knows that isn’t realistic just yet. Your encouragements to make the most of the time that you both have makes him feel that every little moment with the baby and you is special.

Very proud dad. The two of you have created the cutest little creature, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t show them off a little. His mother and your fellow Warrios get shown off to the most. He’ll tell them all about the baby’s progress and point out even the smallest detail he is proud of.

“Do you see that? That little hair is a perfect curl.”

Many days he’ll fall asleep while rocking the baby. It’s incredible that even the baby falls asleep while Reiner’s slumped against the back of the chair, the baby resting against his shoulder. It’s the most sound sleep Reiner gets, your little one repelling his nightmares.

Buys anything the baby even points a chubby finger at. You tell him he’ll make them spoiled, but he can’t help it. He wants to give them everything he can.

When the two of you are taking care of the baby, he’ll often thank you for giving him the greatest gift.

Colt is oh so nervous, but also excited, for the birth of your baby. He doesn’t leave your side, and when the moment is finally there, he barely believes it. Seeing the baby, so tiny and crying as the doctor places them on your chest makes tears well up in his eyes. He’ll kiss your forehead, praising you for doing so well and laying a hand on the back of his child’s back.

He’s all over you and the baby, showering you in love and care. At first you think it’s just after the hospital, but no, it sticks around. When you are recovered you have to remind him that you too are a Warrior, so though you appreciate it you don’t need him to hold your hand at every step.

He’s overbearing in the sweetest way, trying so hard to do everything right for the baby. If it coughs once he’s already running to find you.

Colt knows a thing or two about kids already since he helped with Falco, but every baby is different so he still gets surprised. Like when he accidentally spilled some water in the babies face while washing them. He was sure they would cry their eyes out like Falco had done when young, but the baby had just stared at him with wide eyes. Perhaps your genes had made them a tougher breed.

He loves making the baby laugh. He’ll play peekaboo with them or dance a stuffed animal around them, booping their nose. Hearing his child laughing and babbling never fails to make him smile.

Porco sees himself as a not easily shaken guy, but the baby showed him how wrong he was. He could act tough around others all he wanted, but the sparkling eyes of your child melted him instantly. He was smitten with them since the first look.

He wants to carry the baby all the time, keeping it close to him. He’s a sucker for the classic baby scent, smelling the baby’s head and giving it kisses.

Pinches the baby’s cheeks. They are just so chubby and squeezable. He looks a bit evil while he does it, grinning widely as the baby tries to wiggle away, but he does it all in good fun.

He doesn’t just show off, he brags. Look at how beautiful his child is, how well behaved they are, bet their kid cries all the damn time huh?

“That nose? Clearly got it from me.” He’ll say, proudly putting the baby’s face next to his, looking smug. “Handsome produces handsome.”

Porco is painfully aware of what being a Warrior could cost you, having lost friends and family. What if the two of you don’t return from a mission? It keeps him up at night now and then, and when it does, he goes to get the baby, laying them down between the two of you. It comforts him to feel the baby’s warmth, it’s little hands right at his face. He’ll enjoy having you and the baby as long as he can.

It’s the funniest thing to see him scurrying about after the baby puked on him. He mumbles about them being a little bastard, but he can’t stay mad.

Erwin had been dedicated solely to his mission for years, and he had assumed a family wasn’t in the cards for him because of the life he chose. When he met you, he saw what could be, and eventually the two of you decided to have a child. Erwin was still nervous about the idea of juggling a family and his position as commander when your baby was born, but holding them for the first time convinced him he could make the change.

He reads to the baby every night. He loved the worlds he could explore through books when he was young, and he wants to pass that on to his child. You allow him to only read from an encyclopedia once a week, not wanting your child’s brain to overheat.

The way he changes diapers is a skill. His face doesn’t even twitch while he does it, and he has the technique down so well he’s done within a minute.

Erwin holds the baby close while being on a mission by keeping a family portrait of the three of you on him at all times. It helps him with missing them and motivates him to keep on fighting.

He takes the baby up the wall with you. He wraps one arm around you, the baby ogling the outside world on his other arm.

“One day you will be able to walk freely out there, I’ll make sure of it.” He promises his child.

Levi is made godfather whether he likes it or not. Erwin trusts him fully, and wants to make sure that if anything happens Levi will look after the baby. Erwin will definitely have some fun with it too, making Levi hold the baby and observing him grumpily threaten them to not even think about puking on him.

Erwin keeps a journal during all his missions. He writes down all the interesting and beautiful things he witnesses inbetween the carnage, from plants to friendships. He wants to keep track of it so that when his child is old enough they can know all about it.

He wants to stick the baby in these old and serious clothes. You can barely see your child through the frills and the dress pants are absolutely laugh worthy on their little legs. After seeing the poor thing can barely move around in them, he’ll yield.

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