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darsynia · 1 year

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Hand(s) Off | Ch1: Agony

(Steve Rogers/f!Reader sex pollen-esque multichapter)

STORY MASTERLIST | STEVE MASTERLIST | NEXT

Summary: Bucky Barnes is the most important person in your life. When he confesses to you that he lives at the Avengers tower, and the 'Steve' you've been hearing about for months is actually Steve Rogers, you think that nothing can top that revelation-- and then you find yourself trapped in Captain America's bedroom getting a second-hand dose of NYC's favorite new aphrodisiac, Mistress.

Length | Warnings: 3,271 | None this chapter; story will contain explicit sex descriptions and situations, MINORS DNI

Note: I want to make clear that I'm treating the issues of consent with sensitivity. This is not even a dubious consent story in my eyes; the choices these characters make are kind, as clear-eyed as possible under the circumstances, and respectful.

Excerpt:

“You grew up with Captain America?” you ask, impressed. Bucky Barnes can really keep a secret.

“Not at all. I grew up with Steve. Skinny, brave Steve. Never backed down from a fight, and now he doesn’t have to. C’mon,” he says, nodding toward the Avengers tower that’s visible in the distance.

There’s something in the back of your mind that’s important, something-- “Oh my God, Bucky!” you gasp, almost stumbling in your shock. “I dragged you to that trivia night, and you did so badly on the Avengers questions! You let me answer the all Captain America ones myself! I totally went on and on about how wonderful and handsome Steve Rogers is. I talked about his ass-- and he’s your best friend?”

“You squeak any higher you’re going to start catching the attention of every purse dog in the city,” Bucky teases gruffly. You shoot a look over, noticing that he’s trying not to grin.

“You jerk!” you say, nudging his right arm with your left elbow. “Were you feeling me out?”

Bucky starts cough-laughing. “You’re going to have to define that one for me.”

Chapter One: Agony

He’s falling and you can’t do anything about it.

Bucky’s shirt catches on a stub of a branch on the way down. You, the child whose balloon he was retrieving, and the kid’s mother all rush over when he lands in a heap.

“Oh my god, are you--” the mom starts to say.

“Here you go, kid. Hold tight, I’m not going after it again,” Bucky interrupts, hauling himself to his feet.

“Wow! That looks like it didn’t hurt at all!” the kid says.

“It hurts. Everything hurts. I’m just trying to impress her.” He nods in your direction.

Even though it makes you crack up (because he’s absolutely not), this seems to do the trick. The mom takes a minute to tie a more secure knot in the balloon string before smiling nervously at the two of you and leading her son away.

“I’m sorry,” you wince, taking a picture of the hand-sized rip at Bucky’s armpit that reveals the metal of his arm underneath. You’ve never seen the whole thing, but you’ve felt the arm through his sleeve a couple of times.

“Why are you sorry? You told me not to do it.”

“I’m sorry to have been right?”

“Yeah, okay,” he says grimly, scowling at the phone you handed him and reaching around to feel the edges of the tear. “It shows the join, doesn’t it?”

You’ve been trying not to look, because, yeah, it does. The skin edging the metal graft looks burned and painful, definitely not appropriate for your museum plans. Bucky takes in your uncomfortable nod and his jaw clenches.

“We don’t have to go,” you offer.

“We’re going. I just have to…” He trails off, twisting the shirt around to get a better look. The two of you had decided to take the long way through the park. There’s about an hour before the interactive exhibit opens, but it’s the last day. He wouldn’t even tell you how he got the tickets.

“Okay, what if we swing by a corner store so I can grab a sewing kit--”

Bucky interrupts in a firm voice. “No need to waste the money. I’ll head back home to change; we can get a taxi from there. It’s a bit of a walk.” He shrugs the shirt back into position and starts back the way you’d come.

You have to jog to catch up. “That works.” There are a million things you want to say, but it’s Bucky who speaks first, after fifteen minutes of silence. The two of you reach a crosswalk, and he stops you with his left arm, which in your opinion is a choice.

“Spit it out.”

“You were keeping things separate. You shouldn’t change your mind unless you want to,” you say quietly. He’d said he wanted to keep this friendship to himself for a while, with no connection to the past, and no expectation for the future. You’d found that unexpectedly refreshing at the time, and you still do.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Bucky says. “It’s time. I probably would have sat on it for another month anyway.”

It’s been a six month journey from friendly to friends to close friends for the two of you, and it’s only been two months since he’d opened up about his agonizing past. You don’t know everything yet, and that’s okay. You might never know. As long as Bucky knows he can trust you, that’s what matters.

The light changes, and he guides you across, his body language more relaxed now. Still, you want to make things as easy for him as possible.

“I can wait in the lobby--”

“Shit. That won’t help,” Bucky says, coming to a complete stop in the middle of the sidewalk. “Did you ever look me up?”

“No! You asked me not to.”

He looks at you like you’re some sort of rare creature for a minute, and a slow, appreciative smile grows on his face. You get it-- when he’d told you his actual birthdate, that he’d gone missing in the 40’s, you’d been tempted. But… when someone with a medically engineered metal arm asks you not to poke around in his past, you don’t. Not if you care about him.

“There was a good reason for that, I’m assuming?”

Bucky’s chuckle is deep and amused. “Yeah. I ah, live with the Avengers. Steve’s last name is Rogers. Steve Rogers.”

You’ve heard all about his best friend Steve, enough to feel affection for the man without ever having met him-- but this is not what you were expecting. At all.

“You grew up with Captain America?” you ask, impressed. Bucky Barnes can really keep a secret.

“You squeak any higher you’re going to start catching the attention of every purse dog in the city,” Bucky teases gruffly. You shoot a look over, noticing that he’s trying not to grin.

“You jerk!” you say, nudging his right arm with your left elbow. “Were you feeling me out?”

Bucky starts cough-laughing. “You’re going to have to define that one for me.”

“--stop by, that’s all I ask. Redwing would love it,” Sam grins as he opens the door to Tony’s lab.

“I’ll try, but did you have to say it like that?” Steve groans before heading into Dr. Banner’s workspace right next door. A new street drug named Mistress has been causing concern, and with SHIELD still in transition, the government has called on the scientific wing of the Avengers to help figure out how to combat the substance.

Mistress is an aphrodisiac, a potent one. Banner’s preliminary tests show that it’s likely not of Earth origin, which has slowed down their testing considerably due to safety concerns. That’s where Steve comes in; Bruce thinks his fast metabolism could be the key to figuring the stuff out without putting too many others at risk. That and his lack of a romantic partner.

Apparently the drug enhances a person’s desire to have sex to a strong need, strong enough that there’s no data on what happens if they don’t. The stuff reportedly burns through people, causing dangerous fevers that have officials fearful that someone’s going to get dosed and killed, not to mention the consent issues.

“Hey, Steve,” Banner says. “I don’t know if you’ve met Doctor Lyonne?”

“I haven’t. First or last name?” Steve asks the attractive female doctor.

“Oh, nice one. ‘Lyonne’ is my married name, though. Sorry to possibly disappoint,” she says easily.

Banner smiles at Steve’s wave-off gesture and says, “I’ll leave you two experts to the interpersonal stuff.” He ignores them in favor of a large glass jar with a bunch of warning labels stuck to it. The liquid inside is clear, and all signs point to it being the drug in question. “All right,” Bruce finally says, stepping away and scratching out about four things on his clipboard. “The plan is to expose you in measured doses and observe the results. It’s pretty volatile-- works if ingested, soaks into the skin, and we think it’s capable of being aerosolized under certain conditions. Drinking it will be the most controlled method, so Dr. Lyonne is setting up dosing cups for me. She’s got a class to teach in about forty minutes, so--”

“That’s his delicate way of saying I’ll be out of your hair and unable to observe anything you’ll be going through over the course of the tests,” Lyonne interrupts.

The door that joins the two labs swings open before Steve can respond, and Tony leans his head in. He’s wearing one of his Iron Man suits. “Before you ramp up Icy Hot here, can I show you my new toy?”

“This is a segue to a sex toy joke, Steve. Retreat, retreat!” Sam calls out from behind Tony.

“I’m wounded!” Tony says, muttering, “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that first.” He walks in and grins, holding up his left arm. “Check it out. Nav is still a little spotty, but--”

Steve watches as a shape lifts up from Tony’s bicep area on the suit, similar to Redwing but oval and smaller.

“Tony, I’d be happy to look at it pretty much any other time, but--”

“You have the whole rest of the day blocked out, Bruce, just give me this!”

The friendship between Stark and Banner always makes Steve nervous. They are the closest aligned in terms of work ethic and smarts, but farthest apart in temperament-- and that’s before the Hulk is brought into play. Steve inches closer to the large glass jug of Mistress as Tony gesticulates wildly, sending the drone careening around the room.

It starts beeping.

“Shit!” Tony shouts. “Uh… apparently something I did set the self-destruct?”

“Why does your drone have a self destruct, Tony?”

Bruce sounds incredulous and angry, and Steve doesn’t have his shield. As though Tony had set up the whole situation for maximum drama, the thing is headed straight for the jug. Steve lunges to protect it as Bruce maneuvers himself to take the explosion for the team. Someone screams for JARVIS to lock down the building.

Steve lifts the drug container high, meaning to leap out of the way with it, but there’s nowhere to go. The drone’s explosive impact brings forth the Hulk-- which sends Steve and the jug flying backwards into the lab equipment.

Things turn a bit surreal when you enter the tower. Bucky takes you to a secret side entrance (to avoid the press, he says) but when he gets into the elevator, he seems confused when he can’t talk to it. You’re just about to make a Star Trek joke when he explains there’s usually an artificial intelligence that runs the building, but it’s not responding.

You’re used to pretty much anything apartment-related being out of order, so you’re not fazed. Once inside his apartment, you point out that there’s a sticky note on the opposite side of the door, and Bucky grabs it, his brows furrowing as he reads.

“Shit,” he grins, holding up the note. “Stay here? You’re not authorized for this area.”

“Better hurry!” The tickets for the exhibit are for 1:30, and it’s already 12:50. With a nod, he jogs back into the hallway toward the elevator, and just like that you’re alone in Bucky’s apartment.

It is immediately apparent that he doesn’t live here alone. Underneath a coat rack with multiple jackets is a shoe tray with at least five pairs of shoes in two different sizes. The living room is cozy and lived-in; you see the familiar sight of a bottle of Bucky’s favorite beer sitting on an end-table-- right beside a coaster.

You’re about to reach for it when an alarm sounds, accompanied by an urgent voice.

=Tier One protection activated. Retreat to an interior room and wait for further instructions. Attention: Tier One protection activated. Retreat to an interior room and wait for further instructions.=

You freeze in fear for a few seconds, but when the instruction repeats a few seconds later, you hear a grinding noise in the wall. It’s frightening enough that you dart into the hallway and inside the first open door. The reason for the sound becomes terrifyingly clear a few seconds later as a metal panel encased in the doorframe slides down, too quickly for you to slip out underneath it.

The room turns pitch black in the space between one frightened breath and the next.

After taking a minute to listen for danger, you make your way by feel to the far wall, looking for the light switch. On the way, you trip over something that turns out to be a pair of men’s slippers. You’re glad to let your eyes adjust to the light as you put them back, but when you straighten up, you immediately feel like you’re trespassing somewhere you do not belong.

The room is neat as hell, the kind of tidiness that must come from enjoying a clean space rather than a sense of obligation. However, you soon reassess: this is lived in, less frighteningly neat than well-designed. Everything has its place. It’s different from the easy chaos that Bucky has shown on the few times he’s slept over after movie marathons, so you’re pretty sure this isn’t his room. That, and the white cat plushie you gave him that he swears lives on his dresser? Isn’t there.

Instead, the tray with grooming materials in front of a small mirror are the only objects on the dresser top. There’s a low bookshelf next to an easy chair whose footrest has a worn-in divot. The nightstand is equally neat and functional, with a slightly askew sketchbook hinting that the room’s occupant is an artist.

Unfortunately, these observations are making you more nervous, not less. An intrusive thought that the alarm could be about a fire and there’s literally no way out sends you into a frenzy of banging on the inexorable metal slab.

“Hello?? HELLO!? Please let me out, please, please let me out!” you scream, slamming your fists against the damned barrier until your hands hurt. You’re crying and frantic and yelling, and suddenly there’s someone else on the other side of the door also yelling, and in the next few minutes everything happens at once.

You can’t see anything through your tears and fear; all you know is the feel and sound of strong hands and a soothing voice that isn’t Bucky but it should be. That thought sends you into more frightened tears, because he’ll be worried, he’ll be upset, and it might send him into a spiral like the one from a few months ago when he finally explained about his past.

Then, awfully, the grinding sound is back and the warm hands are gone.

You hear several shouted, imperative commands before the man falls silent. He’d set you down in a huddle on the bed wrapped in a blanket, and you kind of… drift back into awareness surrounded by the strong scent of coconut, with a not-unpleasant buzz of awareness deep in your gut.

You pull the blanket closer before you recognize it. You’d been working on it during the first few movie nights you and Bucky had shared, and he’d bought it as a gift for his best friend. That’s what brings you fully back to yourself: you’d handmade the thing that’s warming you up. You’ll be able to tell Bucky that. It’ll help, when the time comes.

Taking in a long, deep breath, you look around, expecting, since you’re no longer alone, to see anything but a metal panel completely covering the door. You’re wrong. There’s damage to the frame, as though someone had pried the previous slab out of the way-- but there’s once again a solid-looking metal barrier between you and freedom.

“Are you okay?” It’s Captain Am-- Rogers. Steve. Bucky’s Steve.

The unreality of your situation is fully hitting you now.

“That’s what you’re going with? Not ‘who are you?’ or ‘funny story about the door…’”

Rogers says, “I did. You were too upset to answer.” He’s tense, clearly uncomfortable, and his clothes are soaked. You wonder if that’s the source of the strange fruity smell.

“Dee. I’m Dee.” It’s short for Chickadee, your stage-name-turned-favorite-nickname. You think you see recognition in his eyes. “Bucky needed to change his shirt. I didn’t mean-- you have to believe me, I never would have come in here, but he said he would just be a minute, and then a voice told me to hide and…” You’re babbling, but you feel like you’re out of your mind. Of all the people in the world, you’d probably pick Captain America as the one person you’d want to know that you’re eating your vegetables and being polite to your elders, that you wouldn’t invade someone’s private space. “Did something happen to the building?” you ask in a small voice.

“No, this--” Rogers winces. “Bucky asked for extra security or he wouldn’t move in. To slow him down.”

“The Soldier,” you whisper, closing your eyes tightly.

He makes a noise of understanding, then a louder, angry sound. “Everything has gone the exact worst-- I’m sorry,” he grits out. “I’m sorry.”

The depth to his voice prompts a heated curl of attraction that warms you from the inside out. It’s unexpected and strange, given the fear and confusion that’s ruled your reactions in the past minutes.

“I think I should be asking if you are okay.”

Rogers is looking at the floor now, his hands fisted in his pockets. “I was exposed to a… chemical. Tried to do everything right: activated security protocols, set the apartment Dark so I didn’t say or do anything I’d regret before the brain fog set in.”

“What happens when the brain fog sets in?” you whisper, sensing that the answer is what has this man’s body stiff as a board, in contrast with his broken and worried tone.

“How close are you with Buck?” Rogers lifts his head and the intensity in his eyes shoots you with an arrow of concern.

You lift your chin. “Truthfully? I consider him my best friend, why?”

“There’s nothing… more?”

There have been times, multiple times, when you’ve thought about it. But Bucky Barnes is a multifaceted man, and you don’t want to sully his progress towards becoming whole again by making things complicated.

“No,” you say, feeling heat in your chest from the look of understanding in his eyes. Your pause was unintentionally illustrative. “Why?”

“It’s important that I be honest with you: the building is on lockdown, its governing AI is too busy monitoring the Hulk to get us out of this room, and the chemical I was exposed to is Mistress.” He sounds like a soldier reciting battle parameters.

The name sounds familiar, but you can’t place it. Suddenly, you feel too vulnerable on the bed, his bed, so you slide over to the edge in preparation for getting up. The action bares your legs to mid-thigh, and Rogers immediately turns his back on you and hits the wall with the flat of his hand.

That’s when you remember where you’d heard that name. Mistress. The aphrodisiac is the reason many women have flocked to your cousin’s restaurant to hang out, instead of at bars. Many establishments are offering complimentary test kits so their customers can ensure there’s no residue in their food and drinks. It’s become fashionable to carry around your own cups, just in case. Some bars are actually trying to skip requiring women to pay a cover charge, desperate to return to the status quo. Drinks containing coconut aren’t even served anymore, thanks to the scent association.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” you blurt out, rushing over to the easy chair and covering yourself with the blanket. Jesus, the whole room reeks of coconut. He’s practically steeped in the stuff. “What can I do?”

Steve Rogers’ voice is husky, but pained. “Don’t let today be your first impression of me.”

Next chapter...

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halfagone · 8 months

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DID YOU SAY THAT YOU READ WEBTOONS? What uh.... What are your favorites? 👉👈 I'm still trying to wean off reading manga, and the only webtoons I've read are Queen Cecia Wears Knickerbockers and Wayne Family Adventures 😂

Yes, I have read quite a few Webtoons in my day (Why do I sound so old right now?) I have not heard about the Queen Cecia Webtoon, but Wayne Family Adventures is a very good choice, in my totally unbiased opinion. 🤣

If you want more DC Webtoons, then there is Red Hood: Outlaws and there is Zatanna & The Ripper. I haven't caught up with either of them, but if you do love those characters or want to see more from them, I definitely commend checking those out. There was also the Vixen: NYC Webtoon, but unfortunately that one seems to be cancelled now. 🥺

If you're interested in completed Webtoons, then I have a few offerings. I love Siren's Lament, it's a wonderfully complicated Webtoon even if it does hurt my heart sometimes. Gourmet Hound is more of a slice of life with some drama for added effect, but I really did adore that Webtoon that the art was just so cute!! Flow has some incredible worldbuilding mechanics and it's just so tasty. If you want more hero Webtoons, then there's I Don't Want This Kind of Hero, although that one does contain some distressing themes at times so like... beware. And then there is one of my ultimate favorites, which is called Gepetto, which is inspired and based on the Pinocchio tale but more futuristic and dystopian, if that's your fancy.

As for ongoing Webtoons, there's Marry My Husband, which is one of those time travel Webtoons where the MC dies and comes back to life sometime in the past and tries to fix their future. The main story is done, but they do have side stories which have been super cute to read.

There's the ever famous The Remarried Empress, and you'll probably see a lot of references to characters from this Webtoon if you read other Webtoons with a similar premise of- arranged marriage, terrible consort, attractive male lead that is decidedly not the husband, but don't worry he will be.

There is a newer Webtoon called I am the Villain, which is part of the Isekai genre, I would say. It's a beautiful Webtoon, the art is just stunning, and I have no idea what's going on but I'm having a great time.

For more action-based Webtoons, there is Eleceed and if anything happened to my boy Jiwoo I will kill everyone in this room and then myself. And apparently I've done a poor job of that promise because this boy has gone through it, but he still a sweetheart and I love him for that.

There's also the Omniscient Reader, which was actually originally a webnovel called Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, but has since been turned into a manhwa and it's so long but it's so good. I love my sunfish man and ugly squid king (bonus points to anyone who knows that reference).

Here is a Webtoon I have complicated feelings about: Tower of God. This was actually the first ever piece of media I published fanfiction for. It's this really incredible, complex, mind-bending fantasy Webtoon. It is very long, it currently stands at 581 chapters and counting. Unfortunately, the fandom ruined the experience for me, and I pretty much quit all of my fics and that's how I found myself here in the DPxDC fandom! There is an anime for it, currently just Season 1 is out but fingers crossed on Season 2! 🤞But definitely read it first before you watch because the pacing is a little fast for the anime and you don't get that same sweet, sweet tension. I am lucky enough that I do still have one beloved friend that I can talk about Tower of God with, or else I think I probably wouldn't have put it on this list at all.

Eleceed, Omniscient Reader, and Tower of God are all manhwas, which are Korean manga for a shorthand explanation. So if you want to wean yourself off those forms of fiction then... maybe stay away from these because they can suck you in.

Speaking of beloved friend, @midnightenigma recommended to me the Like Wind on a Dry Branch Webtoon, and I am still so upset about it because I will never be the same. 😭 The worldbuilding for this Webtoon is amazing and I adore the slow building romance and plot, and the exploration of grief and just- I am not okay.

I have more things I could recommend but that's... probably as much as I should offer now. lol I hope you find a treat to read from the bunch, though!

#halfagone replies #webtoon recs #never thought i'd get to do this

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e-dubbc11 · 2 years

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The First Snowfall

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Ah a couple of swear words, pretty tame, angst, heartbreak, with a sweet ending. Alludes to sex, nothing major. Fluff. No Punisher spoilers, not even close 😉 Does not follow any storyline.

Word Count: a little over 2k, I think

Summary: Reader is an amateur photographer and she loves photographing Central Park in the winter. On the first snowfall of the season, she runs into someone that makes her feel warm on a cold winter day.

A/N: I love NYC in the winter time, I’ve done the trek through Central Park with snow on the ground and it’s beautiful. All the landmarks I mention are gorgeous. The coffee shop I mention is close to Central Park West and on Columbus Ave. And I wanted to write for Billy b/c I have it in my head that he can be really really sweet (you cannot change my mind). I think he just wants to be loved. He clearly has abandonment issues but if he found the right person, he would spoil them rotten and work on being a better person (cuz he can be an asshole.) As always, comments are always welcome and thank you for reading. I appreciate you! ❤️

The forecast was in your favor, New York City was going to have its first significant snowfall of the season and by the time you get up in the morning, there would be a beautiful blanket of white covering Central Park.

Photography was a little hobby of yours and from an early age you were always taking pictures. It was relaxing and calming for you like taking a bath or a hot cup of tea. Everyone loved taking pictures of the park on warm, sunny days but not you. You had plenty of pictures of the park on nice days—the tradition you had for yourself was every year on the first snowfall, you would take the day and trek through the park taking pictures of anything and everything.

Pictures of all the hot spots were nice—The Bethesda Fountain, the view from the Minton Tile Ceiling room looking out towards the fountain, Strawberry Fields, the bronze Alice in Wonderland statues were some of your favorites, and of course the Loeb Boathouse.

But the obscure shots is what you really looked forward to shooting. The snow coming down in between the trees among the rows of benches. The path lamps are still on from the previous night before the sun comes up.

Something about being in the park when no one else really wanted to be, felt amazing because it was quiet, the sounds soaked up by the snow and it was just you and your camera in the peace and quiet.

You don’t know what possessed you to take pictures of Central Park West that day, the Dakota building was right there where the late great John Lennon lived. After you got the shots you wanted, you turned with your head down looking at the screen of your camera and walked right into him. He dropped his coffee and your camera was about to crash onto the sidewalk when he reached out and grabbed the strap that should have been around your neck and caught it before it could hit the ground.

“Oh my goodness, I am SO sorry! I am so clumsy and I never pay attention when I have my face stuck in this thing. Are you ok? Oh god, I made you drop your coffee, I’m sorry. But thank so, so much for saving my camera. My heart would have broken along with it if you hadn’t caught it. But your coffee—dammit! Again, I am so sorry!”

What struck you most was just how dark his eyes were, but he had a smile that lit up a room and his handsome face was so warm and friendly.

He was wearing a long, dark winter coat over his dark blue suit and tie. Black leather gloves covered his hands and his shoes were definitely not meant to be worn in the snow but the sidewalks at that point were pretty clear, you had been out for a few hours now.

You finally gave him a chance to speak after rambling on.

“Oh it’s alright, really. I’m just glad I was able to catch your camera before it hit the ground, looks like a nice one too.”

You detected a slight New York accent, it made him even more attractive if that’s possible.

Still, you felt the need to apologize again.

“Please, let me buy you another one, I insist, Mister?”

“Russo…Billy Russo.” He smiled again.

“Well? What do you say Mr. Billy Russo?” Even though it was cold out, you felt warm, almost like you were blushing. “I’m y/n, by the way.”

He agreed and the two of you started to walk down Columbus Ave. He started to open the door to the nearby Starbucks, you motioned to keep walking and then stopping in front of a little coffee shop called Black Press Coffee.

“Their coffee tastes much better.” Then it dawned on you that he’s dressed like he works on Wall Street, you’re probably keeping him from something. “I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?”

He winked at you and said “Definitely not, I’d much rather be here than at work. So why are you up so early and dressed to hike the Himalayas?”

You paid for both drinks, a hot chocolate for you and a black coffee with one sugar for Billy and you sat down in front of the shop, looking out at the busy street.

Taking off your hat and coat, you started to tell him the whole story.

“Oh! Well this is gonna sound silly but every year on the very first significant snowfall of the season, I get up early, grab my camera and head to the park to take pictures. I just love Central Park in the winter and then after I’m done, I come here and get a hot chocolate to warm up.”

He brushed a stray hair away from your face. “I don’t think that sounds silly at all—do you think I could see some?”

You didn’t mean to but you showed him every single picture you took from that morning and he seemed to love every second of it and before you knew it, two hours had passed.

“Billy, I am so sorry, I’ve just been going on and on for—“ You grabbed his wrist to look at his watch. “For TWO HOURS?!! Oh god, are you missing work right now?!!”

He laughed. “I own the company, I can go in whenever I want. So, will you have dinner with me tonight?”

That was three years ago. You and Billy had been together for about two and a half years, and it had been about six months since you saw him last. It wasn’t that you didn’t love each other. Both of you had been working a lot, him especially, and barely seeing one another. You thought it would be best if maybe now wasn’t the right time for the two of you.

And here you were again, almost to the date getting ready to head out to the park to take your first snowfall pictures. You wondered if he remembered— No, why he would remember? It was just a silly little thing you did every year. There were so many other things, beautiful things you hoped he remembered from your time together.

The park was beautifully quiet that morning, almost like you had gone deaf for three hours. During your morning out, you found yourself thinking about him. You thought about how he looked the day you met him, those eyes, those beautiful brown eyes that looked like melted pools of dark chocolate, it’s an image that would never leave your mind but that’s over now and although it was difficult, you were trying to move on. Taking these pictures today helped.

You walked out of the cold and into the Black Press Coffee shop, the smell of fresh hot coffee hit your nose and you remembered Billy’s coffee order—black with one sugar. Suddenly your chest started to ache and you felt like your heart was breaking all over again—you really missed him, so much for trying to move on.

They called out your name, you picked up your hot chocolate and as you turned to your right, there sitting at a corner table was Billy. He had his long winter coat next to him, he wore his dark blue suit and tie and shoes that definitely were not meant for the snow—he was dressed the exact same way the day you met him.

The gasp that escaped your body was immediate, followed by your eyes welling up with tears, he stood up and walked over to you.

“Hey beautiful—sit with me please?”

The two of you walked back to the table together, sat down and you asked.

“What are you doing here, Billy?”

His eyes were glassy, almost like he was on the verge of tearing up.

“It’s the first snowfall of the year.”

He remembered.

“I wanted to be here when you came in so I got here when they opened.”

Your heart was soaring but your chest was still aching.

“I can’t believe you remembered.”

He took your hand in his and made little circles on the top of your hand with his thumb.

“How could I forget something like that? It was snowing like this three years ago is when I met you.”

The tightness in your chest started to ease and you started to relax a little.

“Billy—I—“

He interrupted you.

“I’m not good at this whole expression of feelings thing, you know this, so let me get it out. Every day I go to work and I look at that photo in my office, of Gapstow Bridge covered in snow—the one you blew up and had framed for me. I look at it every single day and I think about that’s where I kissed you for the first time, even though it was freezing that night, we stood there and talked and talked until we couldn’t feel our toes anymore. I never knew I could have that with anyone, someone I could talk to every day, someone I could kiss goodnight, someone that actually loves me, a real relationship. You were that for me.”

His hand started to shake a little and he leaned across the table so he could be a little closer to you.

“And then you left and I was alone again, like I was growing up at the group home and I hated it. I missed you.”

You interrupted him. “Billy, I thought we agreed it would be best if we weren’t together anymore. We hardly ever saw each other those last six months.”

He raised his voice a little.

“No, YOU thought it would be best! I didn’t want this—and I should have tried harder, fought harder to keep you but I didn’t because I—I just didn’t know how!”

He threw his hands up in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I thought you just didn’t want me anymore. But I look at that photo every damn day and you’re all I think about—I can try harder but I can’t do that without you. You make me WANT to try harder.”

In the middle of the coffee shop, you’re wiping the tears from your cheeks and not wanting you to see him with tears in his eyes, he wiped his eyes quickly and stood up to leave. And before he walked away, he said…

“I’m gonna go home—I’m not leaving after I get there so you’ll know where I’ll be if you want to talk some more, I love you.”

And before you could say anything else to him, he was gone.

The next few hours were agonizing, you walked around trying to clear your head but it was impossible to think of anything else but Billy’s words “I didn’t want this!” and “you’re all I think about.” He was all you thought about too. You remembered the day you gave that photo to him, it was a “just because” present.

You could tell no one had really given him anything like that before, he was so happy like a child on Christmas morning, and he hung it up right away too. You didn’t give him that particular photo because he kissed you for the first time on that bridge, it was because he said it was his favorite photo that you’ve taken.

He always listened as you rambled on and on about your pictures and he always listened with a smile on his face, holding your hand, or touching some part of your body because he just had to. He did it to always keep you close, to keep you from being too far away from him because he’s never had that.

After wandering aimlessly for a while, you found yourself walking to Billy’s apartment. “I can try harder.” You could try harder too, you loved him—so much.

The doorman at Billy’s apartment building recognized you immediately.

“Good afternoon, y/n.”

“Afternoon, Samuel—is Billy home?”

He smiled at you and said “Mr. Russo said you might be stopping by today—actually that’s not true, he said that he HOPED you would be stopping by today. It’s nice to see you again, miss.”

“It feels nice to be here again.” And you smiled back at him.

You felt really nervous in the elevator, you were hot even though your hands were ice cold from being outside.

You took a few deep breaths before you knocked on the door.

“Billy? It’s me—you there?”

Maybe he was sleeping? Then you heard movement and fumbling with the locks like he couldn’t get them undone fast enough.

The door flung open, his sad eyes looking almost through you. “Hey, love. I wasn’t sure you would come.”

“Billy—I—love”

And before you could say another word, he pulled you inside by your waist and his lips crashed onto yours, the strap of your camera slipped off your left shoulder (again, it should have been around your neck) and it was headed for the floor when Billy reached down and caught it (again.)

“Careful, that looks like a nice one.” He winked and smiled at you and you smiled back, glancing at the ground briefly.

Gently, he set the camera down, closed the door and pulled you in close. He softly brushed his hand from your forehead, down your cheek to your lips and kissed you again, deeply, practically with his whole body.

When he finally broke the kiss, he enclosed one of your hands in both of his, held it against his chest and touched his forehead to yours.

“I can try harder—I WILL try harder, baby. PLEASE! Does this mean you’ll come back? Does this mean you’ll be my girl again?”

“I love you, Billy. I can try harder too.”

He let go of your hand and you wrapped both arms around him and just hugged him. You lost count of how many times he kissed your head and every time you tried to pull away, he’d hug you even tighter.

“I can’t believe you caught my camera—again.” You let out a shy laugh.

“I just want to be the only one that catches it, love.”

You locked both hands around his neck, he picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You always will be, handsome. Can I take my coat off now?”

He looked at you with that charming Billy Russo smile and said

“Oh we’re taking off a lot more than just your coat, baby.”

Tagging: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @sad-hoshi037

#billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo #billy russo x reader #ben barnes

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mermaidsirennikita · 11 months

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Just finished “How to Tame A Wild Rogue” by Julie Anne Long and love, love, LOVED it!! Daphne was such a good heroine - her character arc! And Lorcan - charm itself. I found him such a sexy romantic hero: the looks (scar, earring, slightly longer hair, huge and muscular), the saving a small child, being there for Daphne while also calling her out on things (including when he’s like “oh you LIKE me, you’re down for me” - love that awareness for him)… It was also a really nice pick-me-up because, ngl, been feeling a bit like Daphne at the start of the book lately (life passing you by, etc.). So thanks for that rec! If you have any other recs with a similar vibe/relationship dynamic between the leads would love to get those.

I'm so glad you loved it! I definitely relate to Daphne as well, and it's such a fun book, you know? The hero is charming, the setting is great, I love the way everyone ends up pushed together...

For that "woman who feels like she's missing out on life and then BOOM! A random comes along to upend her world" vibe, I'd recommend:

Suddenly You by Lisa Kleypas--Heroine is old (gasp, pushing 30 lmao) and a virgin who feels like she's just sort of languishing... though she is a successful author lol... So she hires a sex worker to take her virginity. But the guy who shows up at her door is actually the super hot, charismatic publisher dude who wants her next book. She thinks he's the sex worker, and he naturally goes along with it. An affair ensues. Definitely a "shock me to life" book, and has a GHOST of anal fingering, shockingly. TW: miscarriage.

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean--THEEE example of this vibe, of course. Heroine is in her late twenties and has accepted spinsterhood. But before she chills out forever, she asks a local rake who she's always had a thing for to help her cross off nine things she wants to do--nine rules she wants to break, gasp. It's super adventurous and hot, and has some of my favorite fat rep ever (Callie thinks her body suuuuucks; Ralston thinks Callie's tits are like, sent from the gods lmao). Very luxurious-feeling, if that makes sense?

MacLean does a good job with this trope in general--Wicked and the Wallflower (wallflower heroine/criminal underworld hero named DEVIL) also comes to mind, as does Brazen and the Beast (heroine sets out to fuck shit up before settling into running a company, unmarried, and falls for another criminal underworld man who might value her knot-tying skills quiiiite a bit). It's a bit of a different vibe, but if you haven't read Heartbreaker, you might also get a similar sense there; the heroine is a thief, but she mostly relies on the fact that nobody ever seems to notice her. Cue stern brunch daddy duke who's like "bitch I see nothing BUT you".

The Bride Goes Rogue by Joanna Shupe--A variation on this. The heroine is a proper young lady who's been engaged to the same man since childhood (thanks to their dads) and has sort of put aside running wild because she knows she's going to be that guy's wife. Then that guy is like "ummmm I have never had any intention of honoring the marriage contract" and she goes "WHAT" and decides to do life up big. Part of that involves going to a masked sex party (a real thing in Gilded Age NYC) and hooking up with this stranger... who is actually, of course, the guy who basically just dumped her.

The Sea King by C.L. Wilson--A STRETCH YES, BUT. I felt Seen lol. It's a fantasy romance, and the heroine is the middle, "proper and sweet" sister in this group of magical princesses. She's actually super powerful, but her powers are connected to emotional outbursts, so she's learned to hide them and be very subdued and even avoid attention that might cause an outburst (ie, male attention). The hero is a prince from a matriarchal society who's like, been taught the Sexual Arts and literally lives to Guard and Protect the Pussy, and he SEEEEES her. So hard. No matter how she tries to avoid him. And then a huge adventure thing happens. TW: sexual assault (not by the hero).

Mercy by Sara Cate--Contemporary. The heroine is a part owner of a BDSM club, but she does not identify as kinky, and she basically is doing it as a business thing with her friends. She's very like "I am boring, I am practical, I am not Sexy". Then she randomly takes this quiz the business set up, and it identifies her as a domme. She ends up on an app looking for male submissives just to try it out~ and matches with... her business partner and close friend's son! Who's like 12 years younger than her! And a brat! It's really hot but also surprisingly emotional. I was quite touched. Also............ pegging.

Possession by Adriana Anders. Another contemporary. In this one, the heroine is an up and coming America's sweetheart type actress who entered into a PR marriage with this sex symbol A-List actor. But he doesn't touch her; sex is off the table for them. It's total PR. And she's just kind of like "I am a non-sexual blob to him"; she's also plus size, and you get this sense that she feels very.... desexualized and and disempowered in life? Anyway, her husband fucks up and gets caught on camera fucking this woman who looks.... just like her lol.... In a very kinky way, and he's like "so sorry, I fucked up, I'm going to this place my friend owns where I get my freak on so I can just fuck the pain away" and she's like "UMMMMMM NOT WITHOUT ME" and chases him there. And a lot of emotional but also extremely affirming shit ensues.

His Study in Scandal by Megan Frampton--Heroine is 40 and recently widowed, and she goes to this sex party thing and hooks up with a 28 year old random in order to like, feel alive for the first time and take life by the balls (also him by the balls). But oops, turns out he's the guy being eyed to marry her daughter!

Other "oops I'm falling for my daughter/stepdaughter's potential husband after feeling dead inside for years" recs, as this is a specific variation of this "taking life on" vibe: Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy (I do find the heroine a bit more headstrong in this one, and she's in her late twenties still because her stepdaughter is a bit closer in age to her); and The Countess by Sophie Jordan (late thirties heroine, husband is still alive and he sucks!!!!).

Pippa and the Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway--Been recommending this a lot, but I do love it. The heroine is a recent widow who was shamed by her husband for her horniness and became very shut down as a result. Now that he's dead, she ends up working with her teenage sweetheart, who's now hideously scarred and like, kind of the Pied Piper if it wasn't creepy and all his kids were child spies, lol. He ends up ..... really widening her horizons. Also her legs.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

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doevademe · 2 years

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Prompt! What happened in that bedroom between old Nico and young Percy (with percy s pov) ?

[Rest of the prompt at the end. First part Here, Second part Here]

Percy did his best not to stare as the older Nico ate beside him.

"Perk of getting older," he said. "No one can tell you you can't eat tomato sauce on the silk sheets if you're the one who paid for them."

Percy didn't really care about that, though. Future Nico's Adam apple bobbed every time he swallowed, and Percy had never noticed how entrancing such a movement could be.

"Percy?" He asked, making him turn away immediately. "Come on, have a taste. It's your favorite of my dishes... or will be your favorite... gods I hate time travel."

Percy stabbed a piece of pasta and put it in his mouth. He just needed to not like it, then this future would be revealed as a sham.

He chewed and groaned in defeat.

It tasted divine.

"You're still trying to deny this is real," Future Nico said. Of course, he probably knew Older Percy like the back of his hand and extrapolated. "Is it really that horrible? The idea of being with me?"

Percy glanced at Future Nico again, and a million sinful thoughts crossed his mind about his lips, his hair, his throat bobbing like that...

Woah! where was this coming from? His future self may be dating this man, and despite the really appealing imagery that conjured, he was still with Annabeth!

"My Nico asked the same... but it's not that," he said, making his fork dance around the plate.

"Your Nico?" Future Nico asked, raising his eyebrow. Percy took another mouthful of pasta to wash off his foot.

"You know what I mean!" He said, flustered, making Future Nico chuckle. Chuckle! The sound just made him think that his sudden sexuality crisis would have arrived years earlier if Nico laughed more often. "What I mean to say is that it scares me. I thought Annabeth and I would be a forever thing."

Future Nico sighed and ruffled his hair. He wanted to be annoyed, but the touch was electrifying.

"I'm only seven years older than you, so I'm not that wise," he said. "But if my life has taught me something, Percy, is that nothing lasts forever. Things will change. I mean, aren't you a few months away from leaving NYC to follow your girlfriend into college?"

"Is that what does it? Moving in together?" He asked, defeated. He had already accepted that he finds Future Nico really attractive, but he couldn't think of a reason why he would ever stop loving his girlfriend.

"Do you really want the answer to that?" Future Nico asks. Percy shook his head. He's not sure what he would do with that information. Nico nodded. "I know this is hard to accept, but did the older you look unhappy?"

"...No," he forced out. Exasperated at him, yes, but he hadn't seemed sad or awkward during his brief interaction with the older Annabeth. "But I keep telling you, it's not like that!"

"Help me understand, then," Future Nico prodded. "I meant what I said earlier, I want to help you... I may have dropped the bomb earlier to tease you a little, but I don't want you to feel bad."

"Why not?" He finally asked. Future Nico's eyes widened. "Why wouldn't you want to make me feel bad? I've done so much shit to you! And... and all this time, you had a crush on me, and I just ignored you and treated you like a traitor until you finally stopped liking me! And then, according to older me, I went and fell for you and ruined your relationship because I wanted you!"

He was breathing heavily while Future Nico just placed his plate down. Percy didn't know what to expect, but having the older son of Hades hug him was definitely not on the list.

"I don't want you to feel bad, or sad, because you're the person I love," he said softly. "It doesn't matter if you're seventeen, twenty-six or eighty. You'll always be my Percy."

Percy felt a lump forming in his throat at the words. Did current Nico feel this way too? Or had it come after they started dating?

"Did I ruin your relationship?" He asked uncertainly. "Was I the reason you and your boyfriend broke up?"

Nico let him go and smiled at him.

"You were," he said, but there was only some sort of pride in his voice. "But you didn't do anything wrong, Percy. You just made me realize that staying with him would be lying to myself. Believe me, I've had enough of that for a lifetime."

Percy nodded, and went back to his plate, only to find it empty. When had he eaten it all?

"Am I a good boyfriend, then?" He finally asked. Nico laughed.

"I can't imagine a better one," Future Nico said. Percy relaxed at his words, though something still bothered him.

"You said nothing lasts forever. Does that include us? I mean, you guys?"

Typical Percy, getting ahead of himself again. What would his mother say? He was still with Annabeth and yet here he was, getting invested in his future relationship with Nico that didn't exist yet.

"I don't know, Percy," he anwered honestly. "Things might change one day, but I can only hope that we'll change together, and still love each other through it all. It's part of the deal, you know?"

"Deal?" He asked, bemused. Nico took the album, that had been forgetten the whole time and opened it. The picture was of them in formal wear, kissing. "Oh, did I take you to prom or something? Did you go back to school?"

Nico smirked.

"I'll take you thinking I look High School aged in our wedding photo as a compliment, handsome."

For the Third time in as many hours, Percy felt his brain melt.

#Percico #my writing #I may end up taking this to Ao3 eventually #I just need to figure out how to edit it together #drabble #ask #anonymous #mildly spicy #due to Percy being a teenager #writing prompt

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gardenerian · 2 years

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I have never sent an ask, but your account makes me the same amounts of happy as my dogs’ snuggles.

I’m running the nyc marathon tomorrow and am full of nervous butterflies, so I’m comfort scrolling about our fave bacon boy and his grumpy nom nom husband. Do you think Ian would ever run a marathon and how much would Mickey change their entire lifestyle to support Ian’s training schedule and routines? Also, what would Mickey write on his spectating poster and would it get him kicked out/fined/arrested for public indecency?

oh my god love! this is so sweet 🥺 sending you all the happiness and snuggles! 🥺 also your pfp is my favorite thing!! that's amazing!

and wow. CONGRATULATIONS! i am so impressed and proud! i can actually hear cheering from the marathon route right now - i am cheering right alongside them but only for you 🥳 i hope you are so proud of what you have accomplished! and that you get to celebrate and rest and enjoy your big day 🏃‍♀️

i love these thoughts so much! i could definitely see ian giving it a go. maybe he does some smaller races over the years and gets inspired - i could totally see him enlisting carl to help him train again! mickey would be a little annoyed at the change to their routine, i think. i see him as such a comfy lil creature of habit in their marriage. but he'll still jump right in to support ian and make sure he's feeling healthy and safe as he trains.

and i am picturing a sign like I ALWAYS FINISH AND YOU WILL TOO asdjkhf or like. THE HOT REDHEAD HAS STAMINA 😇 ian runs past it like 🥰 fuck yeah i do 🥰

#CONGRATULATIONS #you are seriously amazing #also omg hi i am honored #you are welcome to drop by always and forever #mel answers

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vanessasancheznavarro · 5 months

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She has a face straight out of a magazine God only knows, but you'll never leave her...

whoa! VANESSA SANCHEZ-NAVARRO just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for ONE MONTH, working as A/AN CON-ARTIST/CLUB OWNER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 39. some people say they can be a little bit MANIPULATIVE and SARCASTIC, but i know them to be CLEVER and ENTERTAINING. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS!

►GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Vanessa Sanchez-Navarro NICKNAME(S): Nessa, V, Navarro LABEL: The Miscreant AGE: 39 DATE OF BIRTH: May 25, 1984 ZODIAC: Gemini Sun, Aquarius Rising, Capricorn Moon GENDER & PRONOUNS: Female; She/Her HERITAGE: Taíno, Puerto Rican, Irish, English SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): English OCCUPATION: Con Artist / Club Owner ( Seventh Heaven / Club Rouge ) SEXUALITY & ROMANCE: Bisexual; Biromantic

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Aubrey Plaza HEIGHT: 5'6" WEIGHT: 119 lbs. DOMINANT HAND: Right HAIR COLOR: Brunette EYE COLOR: Brown SCARS: None notable. TATTOOS: Black dainty outline of an Ace on her right inner wrist

►PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Clever, Entertaining, Charming, Accepting, Driven, Comedic. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Sarcastic, Manipulative, Headstrong, Secretive, Reckless. LIKES: Drag shows, brunch, cocktails with more alcohol than mix, pop music, spontaneous weekend trips, card games, the feeling of silk, popping champagne. DISLIKES: When people ask questions with obvious answers, the law, loud chewers, when forks scrape against plates, when you're looking forward to eating something specific but the establishment is sold out for the day.

►MENTALITY

PHOBIAS: None. DISORDERS: Not diagnosed. ALLERGIES: N/A

►BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Las Vegas, NV CURRENT RESIDENCE: Queens, NYC, NY EDUCATION LEVEL: High School Drop-out FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS: - FAMILY UNKNOWN

►FAVORITES

FOOD: In-and-Out Burger DRINK: Carmel Macchiato, extra shot and upside down MOVIE: The Hangover, Killer Klowns from Outerspace TV SHOW: *Doesn't really watch TV* BAND/ARTIST: The1975, Gorillaz, Ween, Lady GaGa SONG: Robbers - The1975

► EXTRA INFORMATION

JUNG TYPE: INTJ ENNEAGRAM: The Confidant (6w7) TEMPERAMENT: Stoic MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Evil SIN: Glutton VIRTUE: Acceptance ELEMENT: Air CHARACTER PLAYLIST

Be a riot, 'cause I know you

► BIOGRAPHY

TW; Neglect, homelessness, con-artistry

Vanessa was found in a dumpster. Swaddled in a towel and screaming. It was an elderly homeless woman who took her in, only to pass away when Nessa turned 9. To a degree, she never understood why the woman would take her in when there was nothing to her name. Though, she did manage to survive for 9 years, and it was because of that very woman that Nessa understood how to run the streets to her advantage. It wasn't until Nessa was 16 that she was caught by a magician for pickpocketing his wallet. It was the only time she's ever been caught in her 7 years of trickery. Through this man, she made a deal to be his magician's assistant in order to be partners and run a con, all to be able to learn some better slight of hand. It was a very great act, entertaining people only to then take from them. This way of life not only excited Nessa, but it also was keeping her lights on in her shoebox of a shitty apartment. When she turned 18, she took all the money they made together and seemed to disappear to the richer area of Vegas. Her eyes were saucers, the greed mixed with her need for survival having her take all she learned and turn it on the rich and wealthy bachelors who turned up in Vegas. Her favorite where the ones on a business trip. Their black cards the reason she has the amount of Chanel she does and her Maserati. It was an easy con, to portray herself as something she wasn't in order to get close, bleed them dry and then go off to the next. The last con, she married a billionaire, waited for him to go on a business trip, took the money and bolted. This time, instead of just a new area of Vegas, she took off to New York City. Now, she's living her best life. She won a little run-down club in Brooklyn and flipped it into Seventh Heaven. Rumor is that she has a secret area of the club that turns into Club Rouge - where anyone's wildest dream could come true. Even hers.

► PERSONALITY (DEEP DIVE)

Vanessa is always the life of the party. She's jokingly awkward, and it's all a part of her charm. She's definitely guarded, and hasn't ever been caught by the police because she's so good at coming up with stories on-the-spot and throwing off suspicion. Nessa is loyal, but only if she feels there is something in it for her in the relationship. She's accepting of anyone and everyone and really pushes for people to be their authentic selves, mostly because she hides pieces of herself due to her past and has no choice. She's the type to drag you out if you're having a bad day and getting up on tables to dance. She has her hand on the pulse of the city and usually has an in for all the newest and hottest areas due to the fact she's a nightclub owner. She loves weed, card games, and conspiracy theories (grab your foil hat). She appreciates humor and intelligence in others, and shows her sarcasm when she thinks someone is stupid lol. Uh, she is brilliant and it's interesting because she dropped out of high school - mostly cause it bored her. She somewhat regrets it now and wishes she got a degree. She doesn't do serious relationships really - mostly because of her conartistry. It sucks though because she is charming and she draws people to her but they tend to not leave and declare themselves her friends; She's very black cat energy. Overall, she's a fun time. She's air-coded with how she switches up.

#boroughs.intro #tw neglect #tw homelessness #tw conartistry

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likedaylighht · 1 year

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NYC/New Jersey swifites how does it feel to be gods (taylor swift’s) favorite to get the exclusive in person release of this song

#I know it was put online like immediately #but the release feels SO specific

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thepassionof-joanharrow · 1 year

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This is How We Walk on the Moon ~Chapter 4:| Matt Murdock x OFC

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OFC

Summary: Sura Harmon works for a nonprofit foundation in NYC and goes to Nelson and Murdock to find some lawyers for the foundation’s clients. Upon meeting Matt, he seems strangely familiar. Matt instantly recognizes Sura as someone he attempted to help while in his Daredevil suit just a week ago. As they continue to work together, Sura and Matt are drawn to each other more and more.

But little does Matt Murdock know that his new colleague Sura Harmon has just as many secrets as he does.

Warnings: Eventual smut, (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT), swearing, discussion of trauma, death and mental illness, emotional angst, discussion of the blip/snap.

Word Count for Chapter 4: 2,452

A/N: This is an ongoing series and will have many chapters! Mostly Sura’s POV but will probably have some chapters be in Matt’s POV.

Also, aside from the prologue, each chapter will have a song to go with it. I highly encourage you to listen to the song to give you the vibe for some of the scenes in that chapter!

Today was when the rubber met the road. Sura was going to another meeting with Nelson and Murdock, but this time she was bringing one of the foundation’s clients with her. Brookes and Harmon had recently been helping Devin Marshall, a disabled widower whose landlord was using the building’s minor upgrade needs as a reason to kick them out.

Sura was outside of Nelson and Murdock’s building, waiting for the pop of Devin’s colorful hair to appear down the sidewalk.

Devin was in their fifties but maintained a youthful love of patterns and bright colors in their personal style. Sura smiled as she wondered what color their hair would be this time. Last time it was teal, but she had a feeling it would be different already.

She tried not to think in terms of favorites, as she was worried it would affect her work, but if she was being honest with herself, Devin was one of her current favorite clients. Not only did they have the shared history of being queer and being in long term relationships with women, but Devin was downright hilarious. They always infused every situation with a levity that was surprising from someone who had been through so much recently. Sura had no doubt that Devin would charm the pants off Matt and Foggy.

And I wouldn’t mind seeing Matt without pants… Sura thought to herself and let out a small laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

The sudden voice on her left made her jump.

“Oh god! Crap, Matt.” Sura breathed hard. “You scared me. I didn’t see you coming.” And then her face turned crimson, realizing what she had just been thinking.

What is wrong with me I’m like a hormonal teen again.

Matt chuckled and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you.” He cocked his head at her. “You going to be okay?”

Sura’s heart was racing. “Yeah, sorry, no you’re fine. Haha, I just get scared easily. And when I have a sudden scare it takes me a minute to recover.” Was she recovering from the scare or from Matt’s hand on her shoulder?

“I can tell.” Matt grinned. “Again, I’m sorry. What were you doing waiting down here?”

“Oh uh, I’m waiting for the client we are meeting with today, Devin Marshall. I wanted to walk up with them but they are running a bit late I guess.”

“Ah” Matt shot his head towards the building’s entrance. “Well I’m going to go up, feel free to wait for them as long as you like. We’ll be ready whenever you all are.”

Sura was quiet for a moment as Matt started to head toward the door. She didn’t want to wait in the cold any longer. She wanted to walk up with Matt.

“Actually, I’ll come up with you.” Matt turned around to Sura as she spoke. “I’d like to get out of the cold and I’m sure Devin can find their way up okay. They have my number anyway in case.”

Matt smiled. “After you then.” He held open the door for her and they walked in.

During the walk up to the office, Sura was mostly silent. She wanted to say something, to strike up a conversation, but she wasn’t sure what to say.

I think that convo with Luce the other night has rattled my brain. You don’t have to ask him out if you don’t want to. But….I do want to get to know him better. No harm in that right?

As they walked and Sura thought, she noticed the way Matt smelled. It was interesting, he didn’t seem to be wearing any cologne. But he smelled good.

Very good. She thought. Like….warmth. Skin. Faint woody notes. And leather. And something sweet underneath it all that she couldn’t pinpoint. But it wasn’t overpowering, and if they hadn’t been alone in a small stairwell, she probably wouldn’t have caught all these details at all.

Matt interrupted her thoughts as they entered the hallway and he came up beside her. “So how long does it take you to get here? I hope its not too long of a commute given how many meetings we’ve been having.”

“Oh I live here!” Sura laughed and checked herself. “I mean, in Hell’s Kitchen.” “Oh really?” Matt turned his head to her. “Wow, that’s convenient!”

“Yeah its pretty nice. I usually just walk here.”

“How long have you lived in the neighborhood?”

“Uh, about 2 years?”

“Do you like it?”

“I do actually. I wasn’t sure at first. I’m used to living in the East Village. And I was in Chinatown right after college for a bit. But I’ve come to really love it.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you like it here.”

“What about you, where in the city do you live?”

They had already entered the office, but their conversation continued upon finding the reception area empty.

Matt smiled as he folded up his cane. “I live in the neighborhood as well. Always have. It’s home.”

“Oh that’s great! Doesn’t take you long to get to work. The foundation is still located in the Lower East Side so it takes me a bit longer to get into work these days.”

Sura looked around. Foggy was busy in his office, and Karen was not in today. Devin had texted to say that they were running late.

After a moment of silence while Matt and Sura hung up their coats, he continued asking her questions.

“So, you used to be the co-head of the foundation. You started it with Colin Brookes I believe? Why are you doing the grunt work now?”

Sura gave a brief sigh of concession. “You probably read about me and the past several years when you looked up the foundation.”

Matt acknowledged this. “I did.”

Sura gave a small smile, “So I suppose there is no point in ignoring it. I was blipped. And when I came back, my business partner had given the position to someone else. He had changed the legal documents and everything. I had been declared dead so…” she shrugged.

Matt leaned back on the receptionist’s desk and folded his arms. “That must have been quite a shock to come back to.”

“Yes, well…it was. Among many other things. I don’t blame Colin at all. He’s one of my best friends. He needed someone to help him run things, make decisions. And the person he promoted completely deserved it. Darby, she’s an angel. She’s perfect for the job”

“But you suddenly found yourself without a job”

“I did. I was without….anything. Almost.”

Sura looked at Matt, hardly believing that she was telling a lawyer these things. Talking about being blipped was something she reserved for her family, her close friends and her therapist. Bringing up the trauma of the past 3 years did not display the strength and competency that she wanted.

But the way Matt was listening to her, made her want to go on. She felt safe somehow.

She cleared her throat. “I was lucky in many ways. My family, they took me in right after I returned. No one else in my family was gone, immediate family anyway. So they could give me all the support I needed to reintegrate into the world. I stayed with them for about a year so I could get back on my feet. They live out in Red Hook, Brooklyn so it was a bit more quiet than here and I could adjust with a little bit of peace.”

Matt smiled at this, but then the door opened and Devin Marshall walked in.

“My dear!” Devin’s voice boomed. “I made it, two fucking train delays but I’m here and ready to do battle.”

Devin was round and short but they seemed much taller than they were with their bright purple pompadour and loud voice.

“Devin! Lovely to see you” Sura bent down a little to give Devin a warm hug. Devin squeezed her tight and kissed her cheek. She wasn’t usually this friendly with clients, but Devin was just this kind of person. Endearing to everyone and they had taken a special shine to Sura.

Sura motioned between Devin and Matt. “Devin Marshall, this is Matt Murdock. He’s going to be your lawyer.”

Matt held out a hand and Devin shook it but then pulled Matt in for a hug as well, kissing his cheek. Matt blushed a little and laughed. “It’s great to meet you Mr. Marshall…or Mrs. Marshall? I’m sorry…”

He trailed off, a bit of embarrassment in his tone.

Devin laughed “It’s okay love, you can just call me Devin! Or Darling Devin. Delightful Devin. Devastatingly handsome Devin.” They winked and Matt and Sura laughed. “But Mx. Marshall is good for more formal situations. And seeing as how we’ll be fighting the man in court together we might find ourselves in some I should say!”

Matt was beaming already. Sura smiled. She knew he would like Devin.

“Hah, yes I should say so.” Matt replied. “Well please take a seat in the conference room over there and I’ll be with you all as soon as I grab some coffee. Would you all like anything?”

After they all got coffee and tea, Foggy was ready and they all gathered around the table to discuss Devin’s case.

They all finished the meeting in tears from laughter. Devin had indeed charmed the pants off both Foggy and Matt, and Sura got a kick out of watching Matt laugh and grin so much. His smile was wide and warm and made Sura feel happier than she had remembered feeling in a while.

Sura walked Devin to the door. “I’m really optimistic about your case hun. I think we can win this.”

“I do too doll. We still on for brunch next Saturday?” Devin placed both hands on their walking cane and looked up at Sura. “Also, I really love the new freckles. It’s a new color right?”

Sura beamed. “Yes! I had Carmen do a bit more of a reddish brown this time. I’m glad you like it.”

After her teenage and young adult years of style exploration, Sura had settled on a look for herself that she felt drawn to. She couldn’t explain exactly why she saw herself looking this particular way, only that it felt the most her. So along with dying her hair black, she got cosmetic tattooed freckles over her prominent cheekbones and strong nose. They were designed to fade out gradually over a year, so she got them freshly done every January.

“And yes, we are good for Brunch. Rosemary’s?” Sura opened the door for Devin.

“Rosemary’s it is!”

Sura gave Devin a hug and watched them walk down the hallway. She knew from experience that Devin never accepted help walking down stairs, but she at least wanted to see that they started down the first couple steps okay.

After Devin left, Foggy said he was going to go to his office to familiarize himself with another case that the foundation would be bringing to the firm in the next week.

Sura found herself alone in the meeting room with Matt. Devin had left her in a good mood.

She smiled as she said: “So, Matt, what did you think of Devin?”

"They are something else aren't they? What a character." Matt returned the humor in her voice. "I really liked them. I don't think I've ever laughed that much in a client meeting before."

"Oh yeah, they are one of a kind. They are so full of life and energy. You'd never be able to tell that they lost their wife a year ago. Even when they talk about her, it's with so much joy." Sura replied, a little wistfulness in her voice.

“I noticed that.”

“I wish…” Sura stopped herself.

“You wish…?” Matt cajoled, a small smirk on his lips.

“Oh I…hah, I was just going to be sappy.” Sura thought she might as well just say it now. “I just wish I could have that type of attitude. About someone I’ve lost. Focusing more on the time you had with them then the fact that they are gone.”

Matt moved forward a bit on the table and took his glasses off. He faced Sura squarely and said: “I can understand that. I understand that very much.”

His eyes are wonderful. Sura thought as she looked into them. Like swirled caramel and molasses. I hope he leaves his glasses off.

“I wish I could have Devin’s attitude with a lot of things actually. They have not had the easiest life”

“Oh yeah?” Matt’s interest in the lives of his client made Sura’s stomach get warm.

She looked into his eyes again. “Yeah. They were diagnosed with MS when they were a teen. And then their parents didn’t take it well when they came out. They insisted that they stay in a Catholic girl’s school. And they experienced a lot of homophobia and transphobia there.”

Matt winced, then loosened his tie a bit. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Sura stopped herself from looking at the extra bit of exposed skin beneath Matt’s throat. “Yeah, typical Catholic nonsense. They are no longer religious, for understandable reasons. I’m there with them on that.”

Sura watched as Matt’s expression changed. A look came over his face that she couldn’t quite figure out. His brows knit together and his mouth pursed. But that look quickly morphed into something else when he chuckled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair.

Sura couldn’t stop herself from swearing. “Oh fuck. Are you…you aren’t Catholic are you?”

Matt smiled wide at her, then brought a hand to his chin. His eyes shined with an amusement that made Sura smile despite her incredible embarrassment.

“Hey, its…its okay. Yeah, I am.”

“Oh fuck me.”

Matt laughed louder this time, louder than Sura had ever heard him laugh before.

“I’m so so sorry. And please pardon my French.” She had her hands covering her face in shame. I’m just going to crawl away now and never come here again.

Then as Matt kept laughing, she snapped her head up and looked him straight in the face. “Is my discomfort amusing to you?”

“Yes, yes it is.” God, his fucking smile. Sura could stare at it all day. And when there was so much mischievous mirth behind it, she wanted to bathe in it’s glow.

“Well I guess amusing you after I’ve offended you is my penance.”

Matt laughed a little then got serious. “But Sura, you didn’t offend me. I’m okay with it.” “Are you sure? That is so unprofessional of me. I usually try to stay away from talking about politics or religion in work environments. I don’t know why I slipped.”

“I’m positive.” Matt folded his hands on the table in front of him. “Look, I was raised Catholic. I’ve been around other Catholics my whole life. I know that a good majority of us can be terribly intolerant. And I’m not going to ‘Not all Catholics’ you.”

Sura smiled in relief. Then she laughed, throwing in some more curses and he grinned at her like a school boy.

#marvel daredevil #daredevil fanfic #daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fanfiction #MCU fic #daredevil fanfiction #mcu fanfiction

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andrewisdoing · 2 years

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The End Of An Era: Thoughts On Best Friend Moving On

I am currently feeling heavy with emotion for numerous reasons.

One of them is because my best friend of 11 years is moving to, of all places, Idaho. Idaho, the home of my favorite carb

Potatoes, semi-racists, white picket fenced homes and where pseudo-chivalrous wanna be men reside. I just checked up on if it’s an LGBTQ friendly state and according to “USA Today” it’s ranking is number 44 with its LGBTQ population of 2.8%.

I could think of a million reasons, aside from affordability, not to move there but here I am, outwardly, trying to be supportive but inside, I am screaming “DON’T MOVE, STAY!!! DON’T LET THE FUCKING IDAHO PEOPLE CHANGE YOU!!! OH MY GOD, STOP FUCKING CHANGING!!!”

But, as always, adult-ing wins out and everyone has to move on, even if you aren’t ready for any of it.

What am I doing about it?

Wallowing and cursing him and his choices out into the privacy of my car, while walking the dog and even when I think I am okay, it’ll creep back into my head again that my best friend is officially morphing into someone I hardly recognize and now, to almost seal this transformation, he’s moving to a place that I have to actively choose to physically swallow all of my own concerns and worries, just to visit him and also, so I don’t miss my niece and nephew growing up.

I honestly love him (sure sounds like it, amiright?) but even as he’s leaving, his behavior has been lacking in the friend department. First, he didn’t tell me he was moving until last minute, so after I went ahead, made plans to hang out twice; our last which we made plans 2 weeks before, he, last minute, no showed while my fellow best friend, Tyler and I, waited for him. I called out of work, just for the occasion. Then when we did reschedule, and we did meet up, just the two of us, he was just on his phone most of the time and while we were face to face, as I cried and said “bye,” even went back for 3 or 4 hugs, he just seemed so neutral. Afterwards, I offered to help him move, even switched shifts with another employee at work and after I told him that I could help him after 4pm, he said “nah, it’s all good.”

My heart sank but of course, I didn’t budge. I just let it go. I let him go even though I probably could’ve killed him. I wanted to shout, angrily, “Can’t you see me going out of my way to do this for you?!?” or “Do you EVEN care?!?!” or to keep it short and sweet, “Asshole!”

Since I am not a complete selfish prick, I didn’t do any of those things because I know moving is a nightmare and I can’t imagine the pressure he’s under. I know the priority isn’t me, it’s his kids and his wife. I understood, gritted my teeth and let go….(sort of).

The feelings of being taken for granted remain, however. I know he’s changing like he’s supposed to and I am proud of some of the bits but I can’t help but feel like I felt at his wedding or at his bachelor party or certain times when he was so silent and almost so distant from me. Sometimes I just feel like friendship doesn’t hold the same meaning for me as it does for him. I feel like he puts up a front for me or doesn’t even show his realest face. I see glimpses of it sometimes when he drinks or if he’s vulnerable enough.

I recently had a discussion about this with my therapist, and he asked me if possibly, I romanticized this friendship. Upon reflection, I remember taking a moment and saying “I romanticize most things.” It’s true. From moving to NYC to friendships lasting a lifetime, like on tv. I always thought that could be a reality. I wanted it to be. I still do. However, I think the older I’m getting, the more the magic is wearing off. Maybe some friendships are just made up and not real. I wander back to us being friends in high school and how I said to him and Tyler, half jokingly, “You aren’t getting rid of me!”

I internally laugh bittersweetly at the thought now because I wonder if he ever just wanted to be rid of me or if he even valued me like I did him. I feel like I learned to listen better, ask more questions and have a yearning to be more consistent in my friendships on account of him and yet, this person, whom I’ve loved for so long, married a young lady whose values I somewhat disagree with, became a Christian who doesn’t believe that women should get abortions and now, I worry that more disagreeable views are to come with this move.

I have friends who don’t have the same views or feelings and that’s always been important to me because I feel like in order to grow, you can’t just see be one dimensional. I feel like adults should have the full scope of things while retainng their own feelings and values. It keeps you open. On occasion though, I still wonder how tolerant does one have to be? How open to things do we have to be to keep our heads from spinning, angrily at a dear friends’ positions and values? Do we still smile and keep believing in the chance that they are still “for” us in spite of the world they reside in?

I choose to try to believe my best friend is going to be there and show up for me when it comes crunch time.

I choose to try to believe that the folks who I love, who don’t support the things I do, will STILL show up.

Perhaps it’s the foolish romantic in me.

Who knows?

All we got is hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, I suppose.

Either way, I’m going to miss the shit out of my best friend.

#friendship #vent #growing up #thoughts #had to get it out #adulting #letting go #views #change #maturity #values #romantic #best friends #moving on #andrewisdoing

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verbo-s-e · 11 months

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july 4, 2023 2:43 pm

entry #whateverthehell it is in this grief diary. a month though. that feels like something. well since i started this.

but it’s been a year. happy birthday, america. it’s a low mumble i can barely whisper out of my mouth. a year of what would’ve been us being back in each others lives. a year of starting over. a year since that afternoon in the smoke shop.

a year since i woke up from the most outrageously real dream. i felt you in my bed. under the covers like kids in a fort. 365 days.

and yet, here we are.

can’t say i’m surprised. it’s kind of our thing. the back and forth i mean. i’ve been watching too much sex and the city as a means to keep me mentally in nyc as much as possible. little did i know that life would imitate art for the billionth time between us. you, my mr. big. me, the wild haired, verbose carrie bradshaw. the irony is sweeter than a magnolia cupcake. big and carrie share our thing. but they got married. this doesn’t give me hope. no thank you. he did leave her at the alter after all.

it’s independence day or whatever. (don’t even get me started on the lack of freedoms this country has) but i’m celebrating my own independence today. cornier than a hot dog on a stick at the state fair, i know. but you really did set me free that afternoon in the park.

so why do i feel like i’m still in a gilded cage? it’s this proximity that will do me in. i swear it will.

last night — last night! it was such a shit show on so many levels (thanks full moon). i was going to go out at 11 pm on a monday for an emotional booty call. ended up backing into someone’s car. cried to taylor swift on the way to the gas station and went home after instead. but i was willing to make one stop.

any guesses? of course not!

i won’t fill in those blanks as my attempt to be coy.

——

5:42 p.m.

not even an hour later, just after 3:30 coming home, there you were. pulling out of your driveway and i, almost to my street. i pulled over so you could pass. you did the same thinking i’d move first.

i didn’t.

rooted in those old oak floorboards, i stood my ground. re-enacting my dream into the waking hours today feels way too cosmically aligned for even me. no accidents, after all.

and like my dream, when our eyes finally met along with awkward and small hands waving near the safety of our drivers windows, was the same look you gave me. haunted and desperate for answers, broken almost. pained. with how close we were, our hands could’ve touched if we let them.

how ironic.

the moons magic is sparing no one this full moon, us included.

nothing feels real, including me.

—-

7:48 pm

i keep thinking of the drive by. i really shouldn’t. a million questions burst through the door of an already extremely overcrowded room that is my mind. they’re amped up on speed (the sighting of you) and the loudest and flashiest of them all: why?

why this? why that? why everything?!

i can write you a letter explaining everything? right? slip it in your mailbox again? right? that’s ok? right right right!? i suppose you can read all these one day, but that’s not the point of these entries.

what is the point of these? a grief diary i suppose is what it’s become. ‘that’s the thing about pain. it demands to be felt.’ a memorable line from one of my favorite books. another winner: ‘we accept the love we think we deserve.’ i won’t tell you the title — you don’t get that kind of access anymore. but i will say, that like me, it’s a story about wallflowers.

that was me. a wallflower to your life, begging to be seen or noticed or included. part of me is coming to learn that you’re, just not that kind of guy. but i know different; i’ve held the letter in my hands. read the words you could never write. (for me.) you just weren’t that kind of guy to me. the (painfully) self aware part of me knows that’s not your fault. but the rest of me? god does it wish it was your fault. and maybe some of it is. some of mine. we’re so entangled and in such a mess! cuz that’s what this is: a mess.

i’m giving myself to the end of the summer to grieve.

i just want this to be over.

#verbo-s-e #verbo-s-e blog #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind #joel and clementine #Spotify

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hyunverse · 1 year

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COWS ?????? YOU SEE COWS ?????? i’m jealous bc they’re absolutely adorable but yea that would def be an absolute culture shock for me 😭. it’s the rats that are like 45 fkn pounds and just like eat walls that terrify me. they’re literally like immune to life in nyc it’s so gross 😭. i one time saw a rat get like punctured by smth and just walk away. not even run away just walked away and moved on. so strange

ANYTHING BACK IS PERFECT AND ANYTHING OPEN BACK IS EVEN MORE PERFECT 🙏🏼 these stylists deserve a raise. also perfectly fine w me pls do set me up w minho. YEP YEP MEN WHO R DEAD U GET IT U GET IT !!!!!!! they’re just so scrumptious. i love men who look like girls or ghosts 😇. and men who look like cats. ALSO CUTE CUTE CUTE i love hands thats so cute ^_^ big hands are my fave

i’m making it my mission to try tomyum now. i actually know a restaurant kind of near me that has a fusion of like malaysian and singaporean food i’m pretty sure so i’ll have to check it sometime and see if they have it 😋. SAME salmon avocado sushi is my favorite !! i love tuna avocado too. yes let’s pls have a cooking sesh that would be so fun and then i can make you all your fave foods hehehe. okay so technically i’m not supposed to have caffeine BUTTT if i’m ordering a coffee there, i get the brown sugar shaken espresso with chocolate cream cold foam :)) it’s so delish you should try it. but i almost always get the mango dragonfruit refresher bc it’s not tooooo much caffeine and it tastes so good. it’s been my go to since it came out in 2018 (i’m literally drinking it as i’m typing rn). what about you what do you get ??

also hyunjin in a headband w light pink hair hyunjin in a headband w light pink hair alert alert. god he looks so good i was literally squealing when i saw it

- 🐈‍⬛

no cs imagine happily walking to ur faculty and BOOM. cow hanging out at the parking lot. i was baffled when i first saw 💀 EW I WOULDVE PUKED. A PUNCTURED RAT??? GOD I FEEL SICKKK.

no cs i have a thing for men’s backs. esp when they have that one long line in the middle and their shoulders are broad. . . frothing. sumn so sexy abt it. . . 💭 i remember having the biggest crush on victor from corpse bride HES THE DEFINITION OF A DEAD LOOKING MAN MMM YUM. sumn abt those eyebags 👩‍❤️‍👩 i love big hands with nice looking fingers ohhhh i wish i had long fingers they look so gorgeous.

SALMON AVOCADO SUSHI 😋 now im craving for sushi. kinda want sushi for dinner now, or should i get chillis’ nachos instead?? im indecisive!! ooh malaysian and singaporean food are pretty much the same tbh! singapore was once a state under malaysia, after all — so a lot of our cultures are the same. i think a restaurant serving malaysian and singaporean fusion food wud definitely serve tomyum!! or you can go to a thai place, really, cs thai tomyum’s the best out of the best 😋 esp if u like spicy food ^__^

why r we the same again, im not supposed to have caffeine either 🧘‍♀ makes my anxiety act up!! however i <3 coffee so i will continue consuming caffeine. oo that does sound delish, i’m gonna try it when i get the chance! mango drinks r so good <33 u have taste!! i usually get an asian dolce latte, it’s so good. not too sweet nor too bitter, just like how i like it!! if not that, i usually get a mango drink as well (i forgot whats the name but it’s kinda like a smoothie) orrr i like ordering their limited specials hehe. esp their christmas ones. their Christmas specialty drinks always bangs frfr.

I LOVE HYUNE WIYH HAIRBANDS IT MAKES HIM LOKK SO. . . SMOOCHABLE. WANAN SMOTHER THAT BOY WITH SMOOCHES EJCBSJD AND THE PINK HAIR AGHEHHSHA

#rin’s lovemail!#🐈‍⬛ anon 💌

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independentartistbuzz · 2 years

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7 From the Women with Jo Alexis of Happy For No Reason

Jo Alexis is a songwriter, producer and vocalist of over 150 songs for her many projects including Alexis/Alexander, Happy For No Reason and her latest, GALEXI. Often compared to Sinead O’Connor, Sarah McLachlan & Bjork, she not only brings great hooks to enchanting melodies but her vocals leave the listener wanting more.

As a prolific songwriter, Jo has recorded in Nashville, Los Angeles, NYC, Philadelphia and Portland with some heavy hitters like Brad Rabuchin (played with Ray Charles) and Jef Lee (played with Roberta Flack.) She’s also shared the stage with Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary and she’s had a song placed in the video game “Reactor/Master Ground 3.”

We got the chance to speak Jo Alexis about her music, career, and opinions in this edition of 7 From the Women. So, let’s dive in:

What Have You Been Working To Promote Lately?

“Canaries (Hot Summer Night)” is a raucous sing-along drinking song, like the rat pack with a female lead! It is from my newest LP by Happy For No Reason, my jazzy folk band. We finished recording and mixing and making the music video during the pandemic which was challenged us to work remotely. However, a musician who I deeply respect told me that my lead vocals were “too aggressive” and it sounded like I was yelling. So, I bought a new microphone and redid my lead parts alone in my bedroom. I also learned how to use Logic, the DAW (digital audio work station) and spent many hours putting together the flute (Mark Pritchard) and piano solos (Matt Weiers). Those jazz cats had so many takes and it was quite a fun undertaking to put them together. We shot the music video in Portland but our director, animator and script writer, Christian Bolorinos, was in Barcelona. So we FaceTimed with him during the shoot which actually worked out really well! So far, we've hit 135k views on FB!

Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded, or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

Wow! So many good ones so I’ll go with my favorite artist and my favorite song of hers- Joni Mitchell’s, “A Case of You.” I love the new version they released recently: ”Archives, Volume 2: The Reprise Years (1968-1971)” On Disc 5, there’s an incredible version with her and James Taylor on guitar in December 1970, live at the Paris Theatre. It is so amazing to hear them together like this and her voice is truly perfect - remarkable really. My Mom used to play Joni's records and I learned a lot of her music on the piano as a kid. And of course, I tried to imitate her voice in all of the nuances. Joni was my God as a young girl and I see now that I was not alone in that worship…

What does it mean to you to be a woman making music/in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

I strongly feel the pressure to be a more upstanding, responsible member of society. I really have to call on ALL of my grit to stick with it and keep believing in my dreams. I am so clear that all I want to do is write songs and make records yet I feel burdened to prove my worth with the mighty dollar.

I also feel a responsibility to other women and girls to be fully myself, especially as a mother of a special needs child. Many of the moms in my community devote 100% of their life energy to their child. It is tempting! However, my motto is a good mother models the possibility of pursuing and succeeding in what she was born to do. Fingers crossed.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so, why or why not?

I definitely consider myself a feminist. I hear that feminism is the radical concept that women and men are equal:) My Mom is an activist and she raised me right with a community of women who taught me the importance of loving yourself and speaking your mind. I went on marches for the ERA and served cheese platters for women’s hang outs. I think people are afraid of feminism because they are afraid of female power.

What was the most challenging thing you have had to face as a female artist?

I think women musicians including myself are subjected to looksism in a strict way both from society and internally. People want you to look a certain way but not if it makes them uncomfortable. I recently had a friend tell me my outfit was too sexy so I had to remind her that Beyonce isn’t holding back. And looksism is deepy connected to ageism- at a certain point, the music industry stops taking older women seriously based on her sex appeal and age. Let’s change that, yes? We are clearly just humans who make choices about our lives and hopefully in 2022, women get to do that in a strong, expressive and solid way.

If you could collaborate with any other female artists, who would you choose?

If you could form an all woman super-group who would play in it: Chaka Khan on drums, St Vincent on guitar, Christie McVie on keys & MeShell NDeogocello on Bass, of course. And I get to sing lead!

What do you hope to share with other women in the industry with your music?

I would love to tell other women and girls that your voice is important. Your poems and musicality is unique and needed in this world. And you are not less, worse or inferior to men- simple but true! I wish young women could know their worth. Also, don’t give up! I love being a band leader in both of my projects(all men) and getting to work with incredible musicians all of whom treat me with the deepest respect. There are plenty of amazing men out there who greatly value women. And, it is important that I value myself.

Find Jo Alexis via:

Website / Facebook / Spotify / YouTube / Soundcloud

Subscribe to Jo Alexis’ mailing list here.

#interview #indie50 #JoAlexis #music #HappyForNoReason

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