#Monday it won't be as bad but today it sucked because this week's the week I do my day team's banks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crushthecore · 28 days

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School sucked ass and now I have been given more homework since on Monday and today I only attended my odd periods (block schedule 🤬) but anwyas my hw is mostly history

When I stopped by my history teachers room she sighed when I mentioned I missed the whole week???😞😞 Like man I'm sorry

Also today in my academic support class (i kinda got lazy in 7th grade and beginning of 8th grade so I had shitty grades and had to join that instead of joining the elective I wanted💔💔)

So anyways in that class we had to analyze a song of our choice and I was STRUGGLING mainly cuz all the kids in that class are like the type to listen to rap and Kanye and stuff and I'm not saying that in a "I'm so different" way but they make fun of u if u don't like THEIR type of music. They kept saying ew everytime my teacher recommended them a rock song. ☹️☹️

My teacher told me that she knew I liked rock bands so she asked which kind I liked. AND I JUST STAYED QUIET, NOT BECAUSE I DONT KNOW SOME, IT'S JUST THAT I BLANKED OUT. All these mfs were staring at me but didn't say anything so🙏 but still, so nosy. But anyways blahblah

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I just got done eating and I forgot what I was gonna say but anyways the song I chose for the poster was Rx Queen by Deftones. My academic teacher is an English teacher so we had to find figurative languages and talk abt what a specific part of the the song meant. I already forgot what I even put down for the figurative languages nd stuff, but anyways the part of the song I put down for it was this:

"We'll stop to rest on the moon

And we'll make a fire

I'll steal a carcass for you

Then feed off the virus

'Cause you're my girl

And that's alright

If you sting me, I won't mind"

'Cause you're my girl

And that's alright

If you sting me, I won't mind"

Ngl idk why but I got embarrassed writing all that down on this huge poster my teacher gave us, also my handwriting looked a little wonky so that made me want to tear up the poster, but it's whatevers!! ^_^

also ngl the way I decorated it is so ugly..but I'm not surprised I sUCK with decorating 💔 I didn't do anything crazy though I kept it simple so it didn't look BAD BAD

That activity was supposed to be "fun" and "relaxing" but I just felt stressed tf out ermmekdkdk

Also today in math when we were on our 2nd hour of being in that class the girl I was talking 2 yesterday and I got her number yadadada, she left me when the teacher said u can go sit next to the people u want to. I mean I'm not mad she can do whatever she wants, it's just that I kinda wanted a friend to talk 2. :((( She didn't even invite me to go sit down with her and her friend

BUT anyways at the end of the day I don't really care, I was kind of disappointed but fuck it, we ball🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥(kms)

But than again it's not like we're good friends or whatever so idk but uhhhhmdmdkdkdjd, that's kinda it

OH OH , YEA AND TODAY IN THE MORNING, when we had testing for 2 hours. 💥💥💥 I finished 1 hour in and than just decided to take a nap until class ends, and I woke up in the middle of napping and my hand was asleep and I moved and kinda stretched and I said "ow" OUT LOUD (not really) but anwyays IT WAS SO QUIET THOUGH SOKDIDJDJNC WTF HLP, it's nott that embarrassing but the dude that sits across from me just stared 😕😞😞 and idk if I was talking in my sleep or something or snoring OR SOMETHING. GOD I HOPE I WASN'T.

Also I kept getting shivers when I was taking a nap dude. 🤬🤬 Also when the teacher told us to get our backpacks (we put them against the wall cuz testing) so yea he was calling on each table to get their backpack and when he got to my table everyone left to get theirs and I was left behind walking slowly and I kept TRIPPING OVER MYSELF. I PORBSLY LOOKED SO STUOID DUDE.... 😞😞

also my crush is in that class so that made it even worse ☹️☹️ (he's kind of like an ex-crudh though.🤔🤔 Idk, he talked to me ONCE. OFFERED GUM ONCE. And I fell head over heels with him and my friend (more like acquaintance or something, idk what I would call her) anyways she was friends him and she gave me his socials and I kinda stalked him online and uhuhhh. I'M GOOD NOW THOUGH🙏🙏trust that was back in like like January or December, this whole whatever u call this ended March soooo:3

Anyways today was shitty, right now I feel shittier cuz, hw. 💣

But as I was writing this I got some stuff done :33

I'm going to stop yapping into the void now byebeyye

#yapyapyap #aw great now i have a headache #word vomit‼️‼️

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pandaspwnz · 1 year

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so.

we might have to put down my youngest dog Lily. She just turned 5 but a few months ago she started limping so we took her to the vet and found out she has arthritis. No big deal, she's on daily painkillers, seems fine. Then she starts limping again and wouldn't really stand or walk very far, and we take her to the vet wednesday and get a shot of a painkiller that should work better over time, since her regular painkillers weren't doing enough to manage it. Thursday she seemed to be doing better again but then suddenly friday evening something happened and it. got. bad. she limps constantly, legs shaking badly, hind legs won't support her weight, won't take more than 4 shaky steps without sitting down again. We were in contact with a vet over the phone saturday and sunday to figure out if it was urgent or something that could wait til monday (since in the weekend just stepping a foot in the door would be 2200 dkk (around $320). We had given her her regular pain meds, even though we were supposed to cut down on half of it after the shot, but clearly she needed it. The vet over the phone says we can give her some regular strength paracetamol and if that manages her pain well enough, we can wait. So we get her more painkillers, she takes them, it seems to help a little. Meanwhile my mom was willing to be carrying Lily to where she needs to go, but I dug out a cart we had in the basement so Lily could ride on that and spare my moms back and Lily's own little legs.

So today, monday, we got an emergency visit at the vet and the vet says it is. bad. they're overbooked and busy but she said she wanted to see Lily right away and went and made sure they could squeeze Lily in for an x-ray and bloodtest.

So we leave her at the vet to get the x-ray and go home and a few hours later we get a call and it turns out Lily has completely torn her cruciate ligaments in BOTH hind legs. We don't know if they went at the same time because somehow?? this little fucking terminator has said. NOTHING. No howls, whines, screams, anything. Nothing.

Only option is surgery. But it is SO expensive. Getting one leg fixed is 24000 dkk ($3.5k), but since it's both they can do it for 38000 dkk ($5.5k). And that's not touching the 6000+ dkk ($875) diagnosis fee we paid today, or any medicine for treatment post surgery. We thankfully have insurance which will cover a total of 29700 dkk ($4.3k) UNLESS we/the vet can say there's a chance she tore her ligaments in two separate incidents, in which case they'll give us that amount twice, once for each leg. I don't know how it works, don't ask me. It's fucking stupid.

Thing is, we live paycheck to paycheck. At a push we can scrape together 15700 dkk ($2247) which we already spent some money on today for the diagnosis fee on, and we have 3 other pets we need to take care of. If we spend all the money we have and then some on Lily and something happens to the others, we wouldn't be able to do anything. So basically my dog's fucking life is depending on if the vet can somehow tell us, either truthfully or by sticking their necks out for us, that the ligaments tore in two separate occasions. Otherwise we just can't afford it.

Which fucking sucks and makes me so angry because she can get the surgery and there's a really good prognosis!! It's like an 85-90% chance she'd be completely normal once she's all healed (it would only slightly increase the risk of getting arthritis, which she already has a little of anyway). And it has to come down to fucking money.

And we are not. at all. willing to do surgery on one leg at a time. Absolutely not. We are not going to have her suffer for so long just because it would make it easier for us to somehow pay for.

Anyway, we have a surgery booked for monday (which is in a whole fucking week!! that's so long from now!) but we don't even know yet if she can have it. We're expecting a call from the vet who saw us initially so we can find out if we can say it was two incidents or not. We'll know at the latest on wednesday and if not, then we just. have to put her down. because of money. we don't want her to be in pain. but man this just fucking sucks. she's my little baby and I don't want to lose her.

this was taken on the way home from the vet. (yes she's fat we know, she's on a diet and already lost 1.5kg)

please send good vibes

#i don't know what to doooooo #she's an absolute nightmare in so many ways but i don't want to lose her. like she's a little demon but i love her so much #where's weratedogs or whatever to make a fundraiser for us #why is it so expensive. why does the life of my dog have to come down to FUCKING CAPITALISM #AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!#i cried so much and i'm so exhausted #i'm so mad #my post #tw: dog injury

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pbandjesse · 6 months

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So I did not feel better today. I felt worse actually. But I was convinced I just needed to suck it up. I would convince myself that I was actually fine and was faking it. Which is stupid but I kept convincing myself and then would cough so hard I would start crying.

When I woke up I was not happy. James left while I was still getting ready because they wanted to beat the rain. I think if they stayed a little longer they would have convinced me to stay home. But instead I got myself together best I could and went down to the car.

It was raining and cold. But it was warm in the car.

Driving to camp was a little rough only because I kept coughing up stuff. And was feeling really gross and bad.

When I got to camp I immediately went up to stockade to find the mushroom from the other day. And it was just turning black and so I plucked it and was very pleased.

I got back to the office and would answer some emails and get some things sorted. I continued to work on my pine needles sewing. It's going better. I want to start a new one soon so I can try to start the middle in a better way. But I think I'm getting the hang of it.

I was confused when no one came in at 9. And then not 930. Closer to 10 Alexi and Elizabeth came in, with Sarah following not long after. I was sort of deteriorating at this point. My cough was becoming more frequent and painful.

I tried to have conversations but I was so hard to be heard. And I could only do so much. We have two Native American feildtrips next week so I would do what I could to get things set up. But it will be a little bit of a mad rush on Monday morning.

I would struggle through until right before noon. But by then I was coughing and had to put my head down on the table to catch my breath. I had tried going up to the arts building and coughing my lungs out, thinking I could dislodge all the gunk in my lungs. But it just made me feel dizzy.

Before I left I thought about going to target. But I just wanted to go home.

The drive back was good. I had talked to Elizabeth about a nerd rapper I had forgotten about and so I got to relisten to some of my highschool music and that was very fun. Made for a good drive home. Even with the rain.

I got back here before 1230. And was happy to be back.

But I also felt stupid. Like I was being dramatic. I wasn't even coughing! I was obviously fine and had been lying. And then I would breath weird and started coughing so hard I thought I was going to throw up. It was pretty horrible.

But because I am stupid I would be fine for a while. And started vacuuming and adding water to the fish tanks and cleaning the kitty litter. And would be fine! I'm obviously all better! But then would cough so hard I would cry. I hate this so much.

The worse and most annoying part is that I feel find behind the voice and the cough. I'm not nauseous. My chest is a little sore but my body doesn't ache. So it's like my brain can't accept that I'm sick.

But I am trying. So I called out of my weekend plans. I'm really sad to miss my last BAS workshop on sunday. And I rescheduled my private lesson. And I'm not going to the market. I won't say I'm not sad. But I'm going to try really hard to actually rest and get well.

I would try to sleep but it didn't happen. I mostly watched videos. I made a few tiktoks because I was a little bored. I worked on my knitting some. I tried to sleep again but my water cup fell over in the bed and got me and the bed all wet. My world was obviously falling apart.

I moved to the couch to cuddle up there. I had taken some time to reorganize the mantle in the living room and change the layout a little. And I felt really good about that. I also pulled out some blankets from storage to put an extra on the couch and finally remember to put one in the car. Very productive.

James would come home and I was happy to see them. They would get to work making tortilla soup. I was coughing a lot and was kind of miserable but I was happy to have my husband home and safe.

There would be some waiting for the soup to be done but that was okay. Sweetp was crying at the door and we figured out that he's crying and talking to the car upstairs! I hope they are having a nice conversation.

The soup was really good. Very happy with the recipe I chose and James made it so nice. Love my husband. They would hang out with me on the couch. And Sweetp and me had a nice cuddle. I watched to many tiktoks. It was nice.

I took a bath while James made got chocolate. It burned my tongue a little but it was fine. I am pretending it fixed my chest pain. But it probably didn't do much.

I just finished painting my toes. And I'm going to go brush my teeth now. And get ready to sleep.

Tomorrow I will rest. And maybe draw or something small. I just want to feel better.

Goodnight everyone. Please cover your coughs.

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stargazer-sims · 1 year

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Journal Entry #47 (part one)

previously - Journal Entry #46 (part seven)

Victor

Hey, everyone.

So, it's been a while, and I'm not even sure where to start. Things have been... chaotic. I guess Yuri's been keeping you up to date, and I'm sure he's told you all about my accident and everything that's been happening since, so I won't go over that again. Living it once was enough, and I'm still having nightmares about it, so... yeah. I'm trying to keep my waking hours as free from it as I can.

I haven't felt like recording anything up to now. I mean, I obviously couldn't while I was in the hospital, but since I've been home again, I haven't had the mental stamina for it, or the physical stamina either, really. Being in pain is pretty exhausting, honestly. I think I probably already knew that from taking care of Yuri, but now I understand it from personal experience. I'm not used to feeling like crap and having hardly any energy, and it sucks.

I’m confident that my arms and rib are slowly getting better, and Mom says the bruises I had on my face and shoulder and down my side are totally gone, but I'm still having brutal headaches and I still can't see properly. Julian had to set up my phone for me so I could record this. If I'm not looking right into the camera, I'm sorry, and if I'm accidentally giving all of you like, a thousand-yard stare or something, I apologize for that too.

Sometimes I think my eyes are improving, but then I'll blink or I'll try to focus on something and it's just gone again. Mostly, everything's all blurry and indistinct, as if I'm looking through one of those frosted glass shower doors. It's frustrating because not only can I not play games on my Switch or text on my phone, I can't even do stuff that doesn't require major use of my hands and arms, like watching videos or practicing my reading or even picking out audio books by myself. I have to get help finding an audio book to listen to, or a movie. I basically have to listen to movies too, which is annoying.

When I'm not in too much pain, I get bored, and without being able to do anything to distract myself, all I can do is think. I don't like that. It's too scary and depressing, especially when I start worrying about whether my life really is going to get back to normal.

I realize it's only been a little over a week since my accident — this is Monday night and it happened a week ago Friday — so I shouldn't expect too much, too soon. The doctor did say it might take a few weeks or maybe up to a month for the worst of the symptoms to resolve, after all, and I might be dealing with some aftereffects for months. She said it was a grade 4 concussion, which is the most severe type because I was unconscious for more than a full minute, and she said I've got mild swelling of the brain. That's the explanation for the bad headaches and dizziness and of course the vision problems. I'm not supposed to be doing anything strenuous, or even remotely active, really. I'm not even allowed to climb the stairs by myself until the doctor clears me to do it. Not that I can actually climb the stairs by myself anyway, but you know.

Earlier today, Yuri's dad arranged an appointment for me with the oppthalmologist that he and Mrs. Okamoto, Yuri and Yuki all go to. Her name is Dr. Ishida, and she's going to see me this coming Friday. Exactly two weeks after the accident, if you're counting. I'm hoping she gives me better news than the ophthalmologist at the hospital did.

Yeah, you didn't hear that wrong. Mr. Okamoto arranged it. Yuri was going to do it himself, but he's actually sick right now and he's not up to making important phone calls. Like, he's sick enough for the hospital, if you ask me, but I think somebody would literally have to carry him out to the car to get him there.

Managing at home when he's this ill is not ideal in my opinion, but he says he doesn't want to go to the hospital because he doesn't want to leave me. I totally get that. I don't want us to be apart either, but I'm also freaking out because I can't take care of him like I usually do, and he's not comfortable with Mom or Julian doing what I normally would. Plus, they don't know everything they should be doing for him anyway, and it's super difficult for me to explain it.

All I can say is, thank goodness for Yuri's dad.

I know what you're likely thinking. Up to now, Yuri and his father have been on really bad terms and barely spoke to each other, and Mr. Okamoto hasn’t exactly been my biggest fan either, so why am I saying I’m grateful for him? Well, the thing is, he’s surprised us all during the last several days, and not in a negative way.

Let me try to explain.

Maybe people think Yuri’s not interested in a relationship with his dad, and I guess I wouldn’t blame anyone for believing that, considering how tense things were in the past. Yuri does actually want a relationship, but he and his dad are both so stubborn that once they started resenting each other for whatever real or imagined hurt they'd caused, neither one of them was willing to let go. I think Mr. Okamoto was more at fault than Yuri for the problems between them, mostly because he didn't know how to deal with Yuri not living up to his unreasonable expectations, but to be fair, you can't have a disagreement by yourself. Yuri isn't just an innocent victim of his dad's difficult personality and crappy communication skills. He had his own part to play.

But, since my accident, we're seeing a side of Mr. Okamoto that we've never seen before. It started with him coming to the hospital right after it happened, to sign consent forms, talk to the doctors and generally deal with stuff until Yuri could get there. Then, he stayed here with Yuri while I was in the hospital, which I was grateful for. I didn't like to think about him being alone. He said it was awkward, having his father here, but also kind of reassuring in a way.

I'm glad they both seem to be softening up, at least for the moment. Yuri really needs his dad in his life, and seeing Mr. Okamoto ready and willing to help us says something about how much has changed between them in a short time.

I want to be optimistic that things are going to get better between them going forward. Anyone who didn't know the whole story would probably be inclined to be positive in this situation, and maybe I should be too. I promise I'm trying, but knowing Mr. Okamoto, I have my doubts. He's not great at consistency and he hasn't shown much interest in the past, but I guess there's always a chance this time it'll be different. For Yuri's sake, I hope so, but I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Anyway, on Saturday night after dinner, Mr. Okamoto came over to get the stuff Hana left here that morning. Apparently, Yuri had called or texted him to pick it up because he didn't want her coming back here for it herself. I'm pretty sure nobody wanted her to come back, least of all me, so I was relieved when my father-in-law took the bags and made his exit.

I'm not sure I was quite so relieved when he returned about two hours later, with bags of his own, and with Yuki in tow.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was thrilled to see Yuki. I just didn’t know what to expect with her and her father planning to stay here.

When Yuki first saw me, she ran to me and hugged me so hard that I thought she might break a few more of my ribs. Then we both cried a veritable flood while she told me she loved me and that she was glad I was alive.

I hadn't realized she was at the hospital with my friends on the day of my accident, and my heart hurt when she told me how worried she'd been. Nobody would tell her anything, she said, and when she wasn’t allowed to see me, she’d feared the worst. I said I was sorry for saying I didn't want anyone to come and see me in the hospital, and she said she understood, but I wondered if she did. In hindsight, I should've agreed to let her visit. I might've felt better after a hug from my favourite local super spy and internet personality, Yuki Okamoto.

Yuki and her father haven’t left here since Saturday night. He brought the smallest shikibuton for Yuki, and of course a normal sized one for himself, and the two of them have set up camp in the laundry room, of all places. Mom and Julian are in my room, Yuri's in his own room, and of course I'm still in the dining room, so it was the only spot left.

Mr. Okamoto said he was here to help. Nobody questioned him, not even Yuri. Since then, he's been doing all kinds of things around the house, including cooking and baking, which he's good at, and housecleaning chores, which he's not good at. Most importantly, he's doing things for Yuri, like helping him in the bathroom, and making sure he stays as nourished and hydrated as possible. Mom said he even gave him a bath this morning, which in her words, "left the upstairs bathroom looking like a small tsunami went through."

While Mom mused aloud about how he could've gotten so much water everywhere and why there were so many wet towels, and complained about the disaster area he'd left behind, I laughed so hard it hurt. I was trying to picture it, and all I could think about was the time me and Ellie were babysitting her cousins, and the four-year-old decided he wanted to be a sea monster while in the bath. We even got water on the ceiling that day, although we never mentioned it to Ellie’s aunt and uncle. I guessed Yuri probably hadn’t been anywhere near as lively as that kid had been, and it was much less likely that he’d wanted to play a game and splash around for fun, so it left me curious about the mess, too.

Bathtime tsunami notwithstanding, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thankful for Mr. Okamoto's help right now. I doubt he's anywhere close to my standards when it comes to Yuri's care, but far be it from me to look this particular gift horse in the mouth. That he's even here at all is astounding, and the fact that he basically rolled up his sleeves and plunged into the current state of madness in our home is a super big deal.

On a connected and somewhat lighter note, I'm pretty sure Julian and Mr. Okamoto are besties now. Mom still seems a little cool toward him, but he and Julian have instantly bonded over their shared interests. They both play the piano, they both love art, and apparently Mr. Okamoto is as big a science fiction and fantasy nerd as Julian. Not gonna lie, listening to the two of them geek out over video games, role playing, Llama Man comics, and classic sci-fi B movies like It Came From Sixam and Day of the Plant Sims was kind of surreal.

It was highly entertaining, having an Uncle Kaz movie marathon with them on Sunday night. We watched some of Uncle Kaz's older Japanese-language films, with English subtitles, and me and Mr. Okamoto tried our best to help Julian understand the jokes. It was fun and felt weirdly comfortable, and by the end of it, my father-in-law and future stepfather were on a first-name basis. I'm not even allowed to call my father-in-law Kenji, so obviously Julian has made a great impression.

Wait... let me backtrack a bit. Like, a lot of stuff happened before the movie marathon, and it's way more important.

On Sunday, we all slept in. Once everybody except Yuri had finally gotten out of bed, Mr. Okamoto and Yuki made rice, eggs and grilled fish for breakfast, and it was so good. Mom had to feed most of my meal to me, but Yuki and I figured out a way for me to grip a spoon without using my thumb, so with her guidance, I was able to feed myself a bowl of rice. It was strange not using chopsticks, and I still feel embarrassed about getting help to eat, but I'm learning to accept it. It’s only temporary, and things could be a lot worse, right?

But, I digress.

After breakfast, Julian helped me upstairs so I could lie down and cuddle with Yuri for a while, and try to figure out just how ill he was. I knew it was serious the night before, when he didn’t come downstairs to share my mattress in the dining room, but I didn’t know the extent of it until I could see him and physically touch him.

To my dismay, it was way worse than I’d expected. He’d been unwell for a couple of weeks before my accident, and I realized he’d been declining, but this was really bad. It blew my mind how he’d managed to hide the true severity of his pain from me, but I reminded myself that I hadn’t exactly been in a fit state to notice every little nuance of his demeanour and body language like I normally would.

Obviously, he’d been forcing himself to do everything he thought he had to do instead of resting and taking care of himself, and by Saturday night his body didn’t have enough fight left in it. His immune system is weak at the best of times, and it’s like he’s constantly pushing through a state of nearly always being mildly unwell, but this had clearly been a headlong rush into a full-on crash. There was no way he hadn’t seen this coming, even if I hadn’t.

Once I was settled in bed with him, I let him lay on top of me the way he likes, even though it made my cracked rib hurt like hell. It was pointless to say anything or to try stopping him. He was so out of it, he probably didn't even realize what he was doing and just instinctively crawled onto me, seeking any bit of familiarity and human closeness he could find. I felt bad for him because even though I was in discomfort, I knew he was in far more pain than I was. I could feel heat radiating off his skin, and every time I moved even slightly, he whimpered.

I wished with every fibre of my being that I could make all his suffering disappear. I hated that he was so sick, and that it was at least partly my fault for not paying better attention to him and letting it get to this point without insisting that he needed rest and medical attention.

"This isn't good, Yuri," I told him, after I’d inadvertently shifted my weight, and he literally cried out from either the movement itself or the abrupt change of pressure against his stomach.

“Don’t… don’t do that,” he gasped. “Hurts. Gonna make me throw up.”

Normally, I might make a joke about him throwing up in bed, but this was not a laughing situation. “If you have to, tell me. I’ll yell for your dad.”

“Please… don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. His tears were soaking through my t-shirt, and I felt helpless to comfort him. “Do you want to lay a different way? It might be less uncomfortable if you’re lying on your side or your back.”

“Wanna lie like this. With our whole bodies touching.”

“We can do that with you on your side,” I said. “You can be the little spoon.”

“Don’t wanna be the little spoon.” And to prove how adamant he was about it, he curled his fingers around a fistful of my shirt, as if daring me to pry him loose. I could feel his little hand trembling against my shoulder .

I rubbed small lines on his back with my fingertips. It felt inadequate, but it was all I could do with my arm in a cast. “Yuri,” I said. “Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Yeah,” was the weak reply.

"You need to see a doctor.”

“Don't want to.”

“You can’t go on like this. You need help, and you need to be somewhere where somebody can take care of you properly.”

"No..." He dragged out the single English syllable in a long whine before continuing in barely intelligible Japanese, "Want you to take care of me."

"I can't, sweet baby," I said. "I love you so much and I want to do everything for you, and I really I wish I could, but this is too much for either of us right now. You need to be where somebody can tend to you night and day, and I think you're gonna need medicine and intravenous fluids to help you get better."

"No," he repeated.

"Yes," I insisted. "Remember last time you were this sick? You needed fluids and antibiotics, and your doctor said the hospital was the best place for you."

"Don't want antibiotics. Make me feel worse."

"I know, but only for a short time. After that, you'll start feeling better a lot quicker. Let your dad take you to the hospital so you can get better?”

“No.”

“I’m worried about you, Yuri. Please.”

"Don't wanna be alone." he said.

"You wouldn't be alone. Me and Mom and Julian would all take turns staying with you. I think even your dad would. He's really stepped up lately, you know."

"Gotta tell him..." Yuri said, but then seemed to lose the thought, and mumbled something that sounded like, "My violin."

I smiled despite the circumstances. "You have to tell your dad about your violin? What about it?"

He let out a little grunt of frustration and tugged feebly at my shirt. "Victor!"

"I'm here."

"Listen."

"I'm listening, love."

"My violin case. Tell Papa..." He trailed off momentarily, as if he was trying to think of how to make the most impact with as few words as possible. "In my violin case. Look. It's important."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Thank you," he whispered. And then, "Love you. Just... wanna protect you."

"I know," I said. "I love you too."

"Please... tell Papa. Promise."

"I promise."

That satisfied him, and he let out a long, shaky breath that was half sigh and half moan. "Gonna sleep," he murmured. He was still clutching my shirt, but it didn't take long before I felt his fingers relax.

I lay awake, thinking. I couldn't imagine what would be in Yuri's violin case other than his violin, and why it'd be so important for his father to see it, but he was so insistent that I figured I'd better not ignore his request. Besides, I promised, and you guys know how I hate breaking promises, especially ones I've made to Yuri.

When I was sure he was sound asleep, I eased him off me as carefully as I could, and then climbed out of bed. It took me a second to orient myself, and then a few more seconds to crawl my way over to where Yuri usually keeps his violin case, on the floor next to his dresser. I could make out the shape of it, and to my surprise, the distinct shape of his violin on its stand next to it. He almost never leaves his violin out for long periods of time. I didn't know when he'd practiced last, but it definitely hadn't been since I got out of the hospital. He wouldn't have left it out since Thursday, so I guessed he must've taken it out sometime on Saturday.

But why?

Cursing my clumsy fingers, I fumbled with the latch of the case for a minute or two. I let out my breath when I finally got it open.

What I found inside was something I totally did not expect. It was a beige file folder stuffed with papers.

I didn't dare try to lift it out by myself, fearing that I'd end up spilling the contents all over the floor. I knew I wouldn't be able to read anything, but I had to soothe my curiosity anyway, so I hooked my fingers under the cover of the folder and flipped it open.

I'll admit, had no idea what to make of it when I thought I saw two passports inside. Why would Yuri have our passports in a folder like this? He’d said he wanted to protect me, but surely that didn’t include leaving the country? Neither of us were in any shape for that. I didn’t understand.

I probably would've panicked if my bruised brain hadn't suddenly registered the fact that both passports were red. The covers of Canadian passports are dark blue, so neither of these could've been mine, and if mine wasn't there then Yuri's wasn't either. Even if either of us could travel, he wouldn't go anywhere without me. I was sure of that.

But, that only begged the question, whose passports were they? And what was Yuri doing with them?

Obviously, it wasn't something he was trying to hide from me, or he wouldn't have directed me to them and asked me to tell his father. The thing was, there was no way in hell I was going to show anything to Mr. Okamoto until I knew what it was myself.

Since I couldn't read the papers, and I couldn't ask Yuri about them, I decided there was only one thing to do. I made my way the short distance back to the bed, and then felt around carefully on the nightstand to locate Yuri's phone. I was glad we'd activated voice dialling on both our phones a few days ago, as that was going to make my mission a whole lot easier.

I had to concentrate to remember how Yuri had listed my mother in his contacts, but once I got it, I said aloud into the silence of the room, "Hey, Siri. Call Dr. Grace."

Mom answered on the second ring, and she sounded both confused and worried. "Yuri? Is everything okay, sweetheart? Why are you calling me from upstairs?"

"Mom, it's me," I said. "Yuri's sleeping. Everything's pretty much as you'd expect, but... can you come up, please? I need your help with something important."

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'll show you in a minute. Please, just come up. I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”

That last sentence came out weird, like a line from a badly-scripted TV show, but I didn’t waste brainpower stressing over it. I had a feeling I’d need to save my mental energy to deal with whatever I was about to learn about the passports and Yuri’s folder full of mystery papers.

"Okay," Mom said. "Hang on. I'll be right there."

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #victorandyuri #victorsworldadventures #tw illness #tw chronic illness #tw pain #tw medical #tw injury #stargazersims

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thedevotionaltour · 10 months

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i kind of hate admitting to myself that on my check in sheet this Monday im gonna have to mark yes to desires to hurt myself I won't act on them bc I don't want to I don't wanna fall apart that bad in one fucking day but earlier today I really did feel that again where I just. I wanted control back I wanted control back. I hate admitting that I can barely handle a weekend out of program I can barely handle the evenings I get back. Therapy is good but when it's all you do the entire day you're constantly sitting with and thinking about everything that has and is hurting you and it's so difficult to carry I know it's not a failure to have those feelings creep in but god does it suck when for the first whole week in what feels like forever you didn't wanna hurt yourself you didn't wanna kill yourself and then one bad Saturday where you couldn't stop your thought spiral couldn't remember or grasp all the fucking coping skills you just learned so you don't do that you just go right back to that thinking because for so long for the last 6 years of your life it has all you have known to make yourself better or to make yourself worse on your own terms and no one else can control it. Just you. When you don't want other people to hurt you the only way it ever has felt like to take that control back is to administer the harm yourself. I just want to feel in control of my own life again. I just want to feel nothing.

#vent.txt #self harm cw

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struggling-to-be-healthy · 2 years

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May 23, 2022

I had my interview at the car dealership today. I thought it was going well until they brought up how many jobs I've had and they didn't seem pleased about it. I doubt I'll get a call back for the second interview which really sucks because I wanted it so bad. I really didn't want to go back to the hotel after my trip to Colorado.

Billy went a long with me to the interview so we could have a little coffee date after. I got an iced white mocha made with almond milk with raspberry added to it. It was SO good. It resulted in no blue dot today, but it was totally worth it.

When we got home I started laundry and packing for Colorado. We are going to see my niece graduate high school. Our flight is tomorrow evening. I'm so thankful for my parents paying for most of the flights. I had some flight credit to put towards it too and only had to pay a little bit myself. I'm excited to see my niece and nephew. My sister not so much, but it should be fine. It is kind of a long story as to why and I do not feel like getting in to it. We will be there until Sunday night.

I made it to the gym in-between laundry and packing. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill and then legs since I didn't do them last week. Tomorrow I might go for steps, but then I won't be back until next Monday. I'm going to try and get my steps every day that I'm gone.

Eating while I'm gone shouldn't be too difficult. My sister and her family eat pretty healthy. I'm sure I'll indulge a little and have some drinks, but that's okay. I'll track everything.

I have a little more packing to do tonight and then I should be all set!

#weight watchers #personal fitblr #fitbit #planet fitness #accountability #my day #monday

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belphies-cuhm-sluht · 2 years

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A nice warm welcome back to those who have been with me since my first day of driving class shit posting, and a great big welcome to those who are just joining in. It's nice to have you along for my shit posting journey. It's monday, which means it's back to school again, which means I can once again destroy some children in Kahoot. It's only 2:30 so I have about 20 minutes to chill and write this post. Uhm... I loved my weekend and I can't wait to have that shit back. I love having days where I don't have to disappear into my basement like a fucking goblin for three hours at a time. I have callouses on my fingers where I hold my pencil (because I don't have the patience to slip on one of this pencil grips), I've been working for eight years to get rid of those bad boys and it took only six days to get them back, so... fuck. I have already taken my shit, so that's a thing that I hopefully won't have to worry about any time soon. Again, I like to take my thirty minute breaks to eat and not blow out my ass on the toilet, so I'm sticking to water for my drink today as well as avoiding any kind of dairy. I would have liked to hopefully answer some questions in class today, but my neighbor is getting their stair railing sawed off so I don't think anyone is the class would like to hear all that noise, and I'm sure no one would be able to hear me anyway because I might be loud as all hell on these text posts but in reality I speak at the volume of a fucking mouse squeak and I hate actually conversing. My teacher is pretty cool though, all personal bathroom problems aside, and I don't hate the class because of who's teaching it, I just hate school in general and the last time I was in a room full of teenieboppers I was a teeniebopper myself and I was heavily bullied. So, I don't hate the teacher, I just hate class. Uhm, I tried to ask my teacher is she could be the one to take me on my behind the wheel drive time and I got rejected because she doesn't do that anymore, she's solely an in class teacher so that high key sucks balls. But she did smile when she read it so I guess that's a plus... I'm a good student. :P Ahhh... I hope that I remember everything that I learned last week because I'm sure this Kahoot thing will be a weekly review test thingy thing, and I don't want to be a fool at the bottom of the board... But all in all, I'm ready to Kahick some ass. Next update will be at 4:45 hopefully... and then I'll see you all at 6:15pm! Thank you again for tuning in to my driving school shit post <3

#driving school things #shit post #driving school shit post #here we go again

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artikgato · 9 months

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8/28/2023

I did it! I made it to three weeks! Well, I did skip for three of those days (for very good reasons) but ultimately 19 out of 21 days is not bad at all!

Okay, today's jogwalk was a little bonkers. Today must be the first day back to school at the local high school, because I passed a LOT of teenagers standing out on the street corners this morning. I feel bad for them; I'm up this early voluntarily but they have to be up, out of bed, dressed and awake and ready for the bus at 6:25am. That sucks. I remember being a teenager, I did NOT want to be up that early. But I'll save my rant about the school system here in America for another day.

Anyway, I might have to alter my route somewhat. I did leave the house a smidge later than usual (like five minutes) but I don't think that's going to make much of a difference. I might run the route backwards tomorrow and see if I can avoid the kids. I don't want to have to run past a line of teenagers every morning just to get my exercise in. They were all very polite in that they didn't acknowledge me whatsoever this morning, but that probably won't last. So I'll do the route backwards tomorrow (if I remember) and see if that does anything. Otherwise, I might have to start going later. TBH I might have to do that anyway once it starts getting colder, we'll see.

BUT the kids aren't even the craziest thing about the jogwalk this morning! I caught two shinies! TWO! I almost wonder if the increased shiny odds from GoFest were somehow still active. I can't remember the last time I got a shiny outside of an event, and this morning I caught two nearly back-to-back! And it was two I've been wanting for a while, Kricketot and Hoothoot. What are the odds?

This week is also going to be bonkers, I can feel it. Today is my one day off before Dragoncon, so I'm going to unwisely try to throw together a last minute cosplay. I work Tuesday through Friday, and I'm still trying to decide if I want to drive down Friday night after work or drive down Saturday morning, and if I want to stay until Monday or not. It's likely that I may not even make those decisions until the day of. I know Dragoncon isn't the type of convention that 99.9% of people are going to just wing like this, but in fairness I didn't know I'd have the Saturday - Monday off until like two weeks ago, and I didn't know if anyone had hotel space until 8 days ago. So, y'know. I think 2023 is the year of "fuck it let's go" because this is basically how Galaxycon, Lazy 5 and Colonial Williamsburg all happened.

It's kind of fun, if I'm being honest!

I'd better stop here or I'll keep going on and on and have less time to throw together this cosplay!

Word count: 515 Weather: 73, cloudy Humidity: 98% Time: 22:48 Song of the Day: Scar Tissue, Red Hot Chili Peppers

#mental health jogwalk

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the-firebird69 · 10 months

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We started doing this to them the same flavor the same stuff to slow them down to take their time to ruin their day like they do to our son every few minutes. For instance they sit here and say stupid s*** that normally anyone would get angry at and continue it and say it a bunch of times or they bring up a story or they hop on an enemy and they bring up some old dirt or they have you lick your chops and feel like you were controlled to do it so doing it to them all over the world other people I'm doing it to these asinine trumps, and we keep doing it and doing it and doing it and they hate it and it gets them killed they can dish it out but they can't take it. This guy achievement is always threatening the money and so these guys so going after their money and their idiots at the treasury die rapidly and huge numbers every day and night soon they'll be gone. Let's try this program last week any requested that somebody do it I saw them doing it and had a great effect it would have helped before it doesn't always work on the assholes s it sometimes has a bad effect. But then it causes them to lose and fall over and they make huge errors and they can't concentrate so yeah they can't take their own medicine this huge list of things that are doing here to our son we're doing it to these idiots every day they're taking massive hits because of it it works great they're going around blaming everybody saying that you're defending him and stuff and people are hitting them for that. They are getting pummeled. And the match say this a lot this stupid people have the information we need we need to grab them and it before it goes away then we need to get rid of them so they don't talk about it so they're doing a lot of that because of these two morons here and the third one and their idiot b****** pushing them. My son is laughing and he's saying and what does go away mean and Trump is saying I will never so we have people stuck to them and their people that they harmed badly and took from and they're sapping them. The giving ridiculous responses and they get back 10 times as many they're asking ridiculous questions and people are asking thousands of these idiots a day it's turned way up they do it in the house the whole time everyone once in a while they try and escape to say something stupid to our son and we start amping it up and we take out big chunks of them and other groups are following suit they won't last long it says it's time to take over zero and other such things and bait them and for real and hit them hard if we have an eliminate them order those are the things to do and so we're going to do that cuz this program works and he's been saying to it's time to do it it's true there's a certain time but it is time to take over that motorcycle company fully. The equipment is just in reach and it's this big complex in the middle of the cone it gets an idea to put several walls around it and we don't really need the stuff I'm going to unload it while they're trying to get there it's a good idea and I'm going to test out the shield cuz we have to in about a week we're going to use it and all this s*** has to drive into it and fly into it and try and get over the wall it'll get rid of the trumpsters right there a huge pile and I've had the whole Midwest to be emptied out of them and they'll come in and we'll just keep getting rid of them I'm going to try it and see if we live this will approve it

Thor Freya

This is ridiculous you two are fired I went to the hell out of there you pieces of s***

Bja

It's going to be like a big huge sucking hole out there to get rid of you trumpsters it's a great idea if they don't do it we're going to we need to get rid of you

Jason

If Jason doesn't do it we're going to do it make sure you're dead Trump everyone hates you

Mac daddy

Referring you from the judgeships today in Charlotte county come Monday if you show up your arrested YouTube f***** and you better have a place to be so I guess we have to provide you something to do like put you in court that tends to work you don't show up and get arrested

Mac daddy

We're going to do that and bring suit for Monday and the max usually get them there and we can place it before Monday morning and they'll get in the docket and we're going to do it now and sue them for what they're doing right now and we're going to chop their arms off every time they do it we just learned the term that's what they say every time. Well we're advancing in the Midwest we haven't Waldorf lake Superior yet it's coming though let's get a few things straightened away. The Mohawks say if we do it they'll attack a day and night until the walls gone or they are so sun says put the wall up like I suggested and we can't seem to do it the threatening people all over the world but we think we can do it around the factory. We're going to set that up and we have better shield technology they cast better but it's very similar to what the max use it's more powerful and we're going to set it up to make sure that we can do it properly and we protecting their factories sort of good fails are blowing themselves up no. Took a test bed I'm going to use the idea getting approval I'm going to set it up to go hopefully today

Thor Freya

I'm very happy about progress and you still pushing like a madman so I'm going to help and that's why. Those keys are out well the submarines not left yet and those movies have to start and the keys are still in Korea they haven't made it there yet and Lily has them

She does a few movies they go after a pretty hard and try to get her to tell where they are and she runs to Korea but only after those movies happen

Hera

Zues

Olympus

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timeoverload · 10 months

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Today wasn't too bad I suppose. It didn't start very well because I slept through all 20 of my alarms. It's kind of ridiculous that I have to set that many as it is but I have a bad habit of hitting the snooze button. I usually get up around 4:30 or 5 but today I didn't get up until 6:15 and that's when I normally have to leave on Wednesdays.

I stayed up way too late last night but I wouldn't have been able to sleep even if I had tried because it was too loud. The neighbors down the street were lighting off super loud fireworks until almost 1 in the morning. I was so pissed and I really wanted to go over there and tell them they were being rude but I'm not a confrontational person. I don't even remember falling asleep but I don't think I got more than 4 hours. I guess having 2 days off messed me up too and I also forgot I had to be there earlier. I work at 7 on Mondays and Tuesdays and 6:30 on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Luckily I still had time to get everything set up and get breakfast before cases started at 7:30. I had 24 today but I got done with them by 3:00. I had time to sit down and eat my lunch too. It definitely was better than last Wednesday. I had 31 cases that day due to add-ons and there was also an hour delay because one of the surgeries took longer than usual so I ended up having to stay late and I was already exhausted. I was so grumpy after that and Thursday sucked.

I also got mad last week because that creepy guy I work with that won't leave me alone tried hitting on me again in front of a bunch of people and I basically had to tell had to tell him to fuck off. It was embarrassing. After that incident, he left the department for a while and when he came back he was clearly in a bad mood and was banging stuff around. It felt like he was trying to be intimidating or something and he also kept trying to find reasons to talk to me. I told him previously that I thought it was weird that he kept calling me beautiful and amazing and I tried to make it clear that it made me uncomfortable. I haven't shown any interest whatsoever so I don't understand why he keeps trying. I don't trust him. He doesn't seem to show a lot of respect for women. He's very desperate for a relationship and I'm not the only girl he acts that way towards. He cornered another girl in the stairwell to get her phone number. I'm not sure why she gave it to him since she said that she doesn't like him either. I would never give him any of my information. Most of the girls are uneasy around him and he likes to go around trying to get hugs. If he tries to say or do anything else to me like that I'm going to HR. He says he's planning on working there a long time and I can't wait to get away from him. At least I don't have to see him at all this week since he's out of town. I don't want him to come back but I'm happy that I haven't had to see him since he did that.

I got to leave work a couple minutes early so that was nice. I went to the store to get cat food and more snacks for myself. I have been eating so much junk food. I think I have actually gained a couple pounds which is good news. Some of my clothes are fitting better. I hope I can continue gaining weight but I also need to eat a little healthier sometimes. I don't even know how much I weigh right now since I don't have a scale so I guess I will find out when I go to the doctor on Friday. I'm also still planning on asking for her to increase my dosage of lamotrigine to 175mg a day since I've been taking 150mg for a while now. I am going to see if she will give me ativan or something for my anxiety. I have taken anxiety meds before and I don't really like them but lately I'm having a really hard time managing it. I haven't had blood work done in a while so I should probably ask to have that done too.

I'm going to make some dinner soon and get ready for bed. I'm sure I will sleep a lot better tonight and hopefully I actually wake up on time in the morning. I'm glad I only have to work one more day this week and tomorrow shouldn't be too busy. I'm going to do my best to make it a good day.

#personal

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fantasticcloaksandhowtolevitate · 2 years

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This is a vent and you can absolutely ignore it because I really just need to put this out there and not be made to feel like I'm overreacting or crazy.

I've spent the entire week convinced one of my coworkers hates me. We had a conversation last week about something and that I don't have the ability to fix it. Monday morning he came to my desk asking me about a different work order that had the same issue. I told him the same thing and explained it again. Then the district manager heard and told him to stop bugging me because I can't do anything about it. But then the guy was just weird with me all this week. Like, we've always had a pretty good relationship. We tease and joke and get along well. He's kind of a grumpy person, but for some reason those are the people I tend to like.

To preface, I found out that a couple I've known for almost 15 years is moving out of state. I said goodbye to them for possibly the last time on Sunday. I may never see them again. I have so many memories with them and in their home and it is really hard to see them go. So the emotions of people leaving me were high on Monday when this guy decided to come bombard me with this issue. And to be fair to him, he was having issues with some of his direct reports too, and I'm sure a lot of his frustrations weren't from the situation he was bringing me anyway. Nonetheless, he brought it to me expecting a solution I couldn't give him and it made him visibly upset. And like I said, he continued to treat me differently than normal all week.

I talked to several people about it and they all said that he was over it and that he didn't mean anything by it and that it's just him and that he wasn't mad at me and that he felt bad. So today I went to talk to him. I asked if we were good, and he said yes, but that he thought he had upset me and that I was mad. I told him I was never mad, but that he had hurt my feelings some because he knew I couldn't help and came to me upset anyway. He then basically continued to press the issue about how our system sucks (which it does, but I can't help) and that there has to be a better way and he did admit that he needs to go to our boss to get it taken care of and not me. He did not, however, apologize. Not once did he say he was sorry for hurting my feelings. Never implied that he felt bad for what happened. And never admitted that he shouldn't have brought the issue to me a second time at all. He also said that he would just not come to me anymore if there's something that needs to be fixed, implying that I won't help him. I would do literally anything in my power to fix something if I was wrong or if it was something I could help with. That just wasn't the situation.

So I went to my friend who I've known for over five years and told her about it. She told me again that it's just who he is and that he didn't mean it. And that I have to let it go because he won't think twice about it. And I can deal without an apology. But for some reason him hating me or being mad at me is like the worst thing I can imagine. I don't particularly care if people like me. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe it's because his boss is one of my favorite people and I don't want it to affect our relationship. Or maybe it's just because I know I didn't do anything wrong. But it kills me to think about him hating me forever because of this.

#tay rambles #work #issues #vent

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tsuki669974 · 2 years

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"I'm sorry if I'm being annoying with the texting and calling you. The calling I've gotten down to a system, so I don't get angry when you don't answer. (I figure if you send me to voicemail, you're busy. If you don't answer, then you're asleep.)

I already know that 90% of the time you won't text me back, so again I don't get angry about that either. The texting is just me being bored, but I'll try to stop texting you so much. I am sorry about that.

So how was your weekend? Mine was stressful and violent. Came to a head on Monday after his daughter left. I made the comment as I was folding my panties that I wanted to go and visit with Tiea at work on Thursday before I couldn't. He got angry when I didn't invite him along. I couldn't understand why he wanted to go with me, just to sit there and listen to two women talk? We got into a huge fight because of it.

Threw a cup of tea at me, hitting me in the nose. Kept violently climbing on top of me (his knees were pressing into my breasts at one point and he's so skinny that it's just bone so it hurt). Grabbed me by my ponytail, pulling my hair and slamming my head into the bathroom door. Slapped me with his dirty bandana, etc.

According to him, I dropped him once I got friends and now I don't want to spend any time with him. Uh no. I don't want to spend any time with him because he sucks the fun and excitement out of everything. And why can't I have friends?

He's mad because I'm finally seeing him for the real person that he is. He said that I was a narcissistic bitch who treated him like a slave/maid. He also said he wouldn't agree to a divorce, because it says in the vows "Til death do us part". Then about an hour later, he did a 360 and changed his tune.

I ended up texting Julie and she said that she'd come get me one day after she got off work and take me down to file for divorce. I do have a place to stay, but I'll have to wait until I can move there.

I'm sorry if I'm a bad friend. I haven't had many friends in my lifetime. Most people that say they were my friend, used me until I was no longer needed and then ditched me. So I stopped making friends and I stopped confining in people. I'm used to solving my problems on my own and not asking for any help.

I should try and get some sleep... Last day of work today (it's after 2am right now), then I'll be out of everyone's hair for 6 weeks. G'night."

The text I sent Tippy last night.

He came up to the press box just now and just hugs me. I started crying, even now I'm still kind of crying. I'm just so stressed out and exhausted that my emotions can't do this anymore.

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cactbi · 3 years

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fully vaccinated as of Monday!

#asthma #talking about covid stuff #rambling #covid #im very happy to be fully vaxed but dont keep reading if you have that thing where you emulate symptoms #my reaction to the second dose has been very different #the first one my arm went dead the next day but otherwise no noticeable difference #this one stung after getting it and then was fine the rest of monday #today was ok i could feel a stinging but generally wasnt fazed #anyway i was like this stinging is not like the aching i had and checked and i have a rash :( it's raised a little too #and i was like well that sucks but its not debilitating so everything should be fine and i havent got any other side effects #so i had a cold 2 weeks prior and the cough stuck around because it always does due to 🤔🤔 that im not convinced i have #it always sounds worse than it is too so ill be barking along but generally fine #so that was easing up and now its gotten worse again :))))))#the good news is i have my taste and smell still so im fairly certain its not covid but ive also now got a headache #and whilst im sorta prone to them i havent had one in a while and its keeping me awake along with the coughing fits :))))))#so now im kinda crying at 3am and extra anxieties as i need to wake up a bit earlier to walk my dog as im looking after the house #i might just have to make her wait a little longer until after my team meeting because she won't mind but i do feel bad doing that #but the good news is im fully vaxxed so hopefully soon i wont have any side effects!#oh also i keep retching from my cough and the thai i had earlier doesn't taste quite as good threatening me with a second go #apologies if you clicked read more and got a wall of tags i just like to get thoughts out

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nakachuchu · 3 years

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Hoodie Weather | Nishinoya Yuu

SYNOPSIS: You find a lost hoodie.

READER: gender neutral

WORDS: 1452

WRITTEN: 03/14/2021

It was especially cold that morning. Nishinoya was in a rush and didn't have time to put his hoodie on. He woke up late for school as usual and was rushing to get to Karasuno.

He rushed to slide his card through the machine to enter the subway. His hoodie was laying on top of the school bag he held in his hand.

On the other side of the subway's entrance, you were running down the stairs. You rushed onto the train just as the doors were about to close.

You attended a different school, but the subway went to the station near your school. You stood up, holding onto the railing tightly, sighing at how crowded it was.

The train stopped to let some passengers off, and you noticed a hoodie laying on the floor. You looked up to see the fluttering of a black uniform and dyed hair before the doors closed. The uniform seemed like a male uniform.

You crouched down to pick it up, stumbling to get up when the train jostled to start. You waited for your stop as usual, then got off and looked around while holding the hoodie in your hand.

The weather was cold. You hoped the student would be okay without their hoodie. You stared at the bundled hoodie in your hand before sighing and walking the opposite way.

You were dreading school. You didn't feel like going to school. You swung your arm back and forth. The hoodie slightly unbundled and slapped against the wind.

"Aren't you cold, Noya?" Tanaka asked.

Nishinoya did notice a slight chill throughout the school day, but he didn't think much of it because of the school's heating system.

"I actually am," Nishinoya muttered. "I swear I brought my hoodie with me."

"The white one?" Tanaka asked.

Nishinoya nodded.

"You love that hoodie so much, it's like your baby blanket."

Nishinoya frowned. "It's so warm and comfortable. I think I left it on the subway."

He sighed and leaned back on his chair, then rubbed his face. Tanaka scooted his chair next to Nishinoya and wrapped an arm around him.

"So what are you going to do? Are you going to try to find your hoodie?" Tanaka asked. "It's Friday, dude, so there's two days until school starts again."

"I'll have to hope it's still there," Nishinoya replied.

"Man, that sucks. You may have to buy a new one."

"But I don't want a new one," he whined. "I want that one. Have some faith in me finding it."

"Tons of people get on that subway throughout the week. I would have stolen it if I saw it," Tanaka retorted.

"You suck."

"Your mom sucks."

"Don't talk about what my mom sucks."

"Is that your boyfriend's hoodie, Y/N?" your friend asked.

You shook your head. "That's funny, but no. I picked it up on the subway. I was going to return to the person who dropped it, but he left before I could. I saw part of his uniform though."

"Are you going to keep it?"

"No. Wouldn't it be awkward if I was wearing it and he saw me? I'd be so embarrassed," you explained.

Your friend laughed. "Only you would overthink things like that."

You sighed. "I'll admit overthinking can be bad, but it can be good sometimes. On tests, it's horrible, but in everyday scenarios, it can come in handy."

"How?"

"Well, what if you thought you forgot your lunch, but you were too lazy to check, so you decide to leave the house without? So you're on your way to school already, but you start to get antsy with the thought of not eating during lunch while everyone else is eating. You end up checking inside your bag for your lunch, and it's not there. You go back home, find it's waiting for you on the counter, then you finally go to school," you ranted without pausing.

You were breathing heavily while your friend stared at you with her mouth open.

"The fact that you just thought of that example is what shocks me the most. But yeah, I see your point."

You snapped your fingers like a poet. "Thank you. So I'm going to try to find the guy who lost his hoodie, but I only know what his uniform looks like. I don't know what he looks like."

"Well, that'll be hard. It's the weekend tomorrow, so even if he does use the subway again, he won't be wearing his uniform."

You sighed. "I guess I'll just wait for Monday."

You didn't have to return the hoodie, but you were taught by your parents to return things to its owners.

Once you got home, you laid the hoodie down on your desk and stared at it.

"You're one small hoodie," you muttered. "The guy wearing you must be small."

As if the hoodie was calling to you, you reached out and grabbed it, unfolding the hoodie to put it on.

The sleeves were much longer than you thought they would be, but the torso seemed to fit fine. You hesitantly brought the sleeve of the hoodie to your nose and sniffed it.

It oddly smelled like the orange essential oil your mother liked to put around the house to make it smell good.

You decided to take it off before anything got weirder. You neatly folded it again and set it back on your desk.

You really hoped you'd be able to give it back to the right person and not a stranger.

It was Monday morning.

You woke up early today because you were determined to return the hoodie to its owner.

You stood up on your toes to search through the crowd of people at the station. You were trying to find the uniform of the student, even though you didn't know his face or his name.

You were ready to give up and try again, but then you saw his uniform leaving the station on the other side.

You checked the time on your watch. You would be a few minutes late to school, but you decided that returning the hoodie was more important than first period.

You ran after him, weaving through the crowd of people.

"Um - excuse me!" you shouted. "Excuse me! The shortie in the black uniform!"

"Who are you calling—"

His brain fired blanks when he saw how pretty you were. He couldn't believe someone as attractive as you was talking to him. He looked around and pointed to himself.

"Me?"

"Uh... Yes, you," you answered as you stopped in front of him, a few feet away.

Unlike Nishinoya who was breathing normally, you were huffing from the run. There was fog around your face as you exhaled and inhaled. You extended your arm out with the hoodie in your hand.

"I think this belongs to you," you said.

Nishinoya looked back and forth from the hoodie to your face. He walked closer to you and slowly grabbed his hoodie.

"Hey, thanks!" he exclaimed, feeling a huge weight off his shoulders. "I've been looking for this."

You softly smiled. "Yeah, I had a feeling. I should...go to school now. Um—it was nice meeting you."

Nishinoya nodded.

You began to turn around, but he grabbed your wrist. Not expecting that, you fell off balance and staggered back.

Your back pressed against his chest as he caught you. The two of you looked at each other. Your faces were only centimeters apart from each other. The two of you were spotting similar blushes.

"Yes?" you whispered.

"Um—Y-You didn't bring a jacket today. It's pretty cold. You should borrow this for today and return it to me another day," Nishinoya said.

"But how will I find you?" you asked.

"We could...exchange numbers?" he asked. "Only if you want to," he added.

His eyes darted around nervously. You laughed a bit and nodded.

"I'd like that."

"Really?" he asked. "All right!"

"Maybe you could let me go first," you suggested.

"O-Oh, s-sorry!"

He quickly let go of you and stepped away, rubbing his neck nervously. You smiled and took out a piece of paper and a pen from your school bag. You leaned in and pressed the paper against his chest. He stiffened from how close you were. You wrote down your number on the paper, then tucked it into his pocket.

"I'll see you later?" you questioned.

"Uh-huh," he absentmindedly answered.

You smiled and waved goodbye to him as you jogged in the direction of your school. Nishinoya blinked at the spot you once stood at and took your number out from his pocket.

"Y/N, huh?" He grinned. "Tanaka's never gonna believe this!"

#haikyu x reader #nishinoya yu x reader #nishinoya Yuu x reader #sfw

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heresathreebee · 3 years

Text

Brackish and Briny Waters (two)

[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader]

Summary: Settling into your new house Part 1 Masterlist Part 3

Tags: +17 | 1.7k words | just really fucking domestic stuff, one (1) bad attitude, presumptuous behavior, unprotected morning sex, more remodeling.

AN: I kind of know where I'm going with this. The conflict will be subtle at first but it's there I promise.

The first day goes by fast and for Ralph meeting every single person on staff in this prestigious school was like trying cheeses and wines in a vineyard– fun at first but you get a stomach ache because somebody forgot to tell you not to swallow and there are just so many of them each more rich than the last. By the time he crosses the threshold to his new home, he's exhausted and annoyed.

"I told you not to unpack without me."

You look at him from the kitchen and shrug. "I needed stuff, baby. I already wrote a list of things to work on in this 'bare bones' house you put us up in and I was bored."

You don't care for his attitude but offer him the covered plate anyways. "I saved you some dinner."

All at once, Ralphie's anger melted from his face. He shuffled his tired feet across the still empty living room and pulled you into his side. The plate was warm (still warm or recently warmed up, he couldn't tell) and his stomach growled.

"M sorry," he said, "I don't mean to be an asshole."

You smile your forgiveness. "Long day?"

"Yes," he hisses. "I already can't wait for the weekend."

You chuckle. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Give it a chance, baby!"

"As you wish."

After eating, Ralph is right to sleep despite his insistence you finish packing together tonight. A part of you thinks it's the climate here– fresh sea salt air and less artificial light to disrupt the body's natural sleep patterns. You took off his shoes and empty his pockets because he was just 'resting his eyes for a moment,' then slid in right next to him. He's fine without a blanket, but you pull the back of the quilt over your rear and curl into his side. Sleep comes easier tonight than last night and you dream of wallpaper and wood smoke cologne.

DAY THREE

The rest of the week gets easier for the both of you. You arrived on Monday and unpack the bigger furniture together by Wednesday with the help of some locals. Ralph is getting to study the lesson plan for Ms. Lewis' math class and establishing a gentle authority with his temporary students. He is still excited for the weekend, intent to help you figure out what to do with the walls of the house.

"Has anybody come to see you at the house yet?," he asks you Thursday night.

You pause dicing onions to think. "Besides the neighbors to the north and those Vayle boys? No."

Ralphie raises his eyebrows and drops them, an involuntary gesture made more for himself than you.

You put a hand on your hip. "Why?"

Ralphie waves you off and continues mixing the meat with the spices. "Nothing. It's just everybody and their fucking moms has been asking me about you."

"What?" This was news to you. "Why?"

"Because they're nosy," he replies, "asking me about my whole life story and I let slip I had a wife and then they just wouldn't shut up about it."

You swat his shoulder. "Well don't sound so depressed about it. Do you not like having a wife?"

"No!" Ralph huffs and turns to look at you as he says, "I just hate that every single one of them bugs me about a million personal things and then I mention you and it's the only thing they can talk about now."

Ralph turns back to stirring the pan and grumbles to himself, "might tell them to fuck off and just hoard you forever…"

It clicks in your head at least a bit. Ralph's a born and bred city kid. In the city nobody cares who you are, what you like, or where you're from. Strangers don't want to be anything more than strangers. Their eternal social motto is 'don't waste my time' and anyone who acts differently is probably scheming something.

You chuckle and rest your chin on his shoulder. "You're forgetting these are a different breed of people. Rich and educated socialites more over but suburban, maybe even rural. We're probably the first new thing to happen to them in decades, and communities like this don't have a 'mind your business and I'll mind mine' attitude."

Ralphie flicks you a look but you know he knows you're right. It doesn't mean he has to like it but at least he understands it's not malicious, at least not inherently. It's out of his element, a little out of yours too, but you'll have to adapt and play by their rules if you want to stay here for a while.

The dining room table can seat six, but your Ralphie takes a seat right next to you at a corner so he can hold your hand while you eat. Homemade tacos ease your apprehensions a bit and you go over the remodeling plans with him until midnight. Getting ready to sleep, you wear your thinnest shift and wrap around him like an octopus, your warm core brushing over his barely clothed manhood in temptation.

Ralphie hums, tucking a stray hair back into your bonnet. "We need to get up early tomorrow."

It's a weak protest. The two of you keep rocking into each other and sighing at the feeling of friction but eventually fall asleep despite the delightful buzz of sexual energy surrounding you. You do wake up when Ralph flips you under him and sucks a few marks into your neck.

You spread your legs to accommodate his breadth, feeling him settle deliciously and glancing at the bedside clock. It's barely 5 o' clock and the sun is rising. You gasp as you feel Ralphie's cock slide into you and he's met with little resistance. You two have sex for the first time since you moved and it's been so long that the affair is short lived.

Ralph already has an apology on his lips but you shush him and come a moment later with your fingers brushing your clit in tandem. He peppers you with a dozen more kisses as silent promises to make it up to you.

You shower together, barely bumping elbows as this bathroom is way bigger than your New York City apartment ever was. You chat idly about the weekend and the town and when you're ready to leave, you grab the manila folder where you store the plans for the remodel. You've even got samples from the wallpaper, only taking the ones you like and want to replace.

"I know we probably won't find exact replicas but I want to at least find something similar."

Ralph squeezes your thigh. "Ok, ok. We'll try."

While this town doesn't have a McDonald's (the town over does and it's fancy for some reason), it does have a Home Depot (also pretty fancy). You know you'll need wood and screws and glass panes to finish that solar room but that's not the goal for today.

Ralph skips right over the green paint swatch section to the creams. He's rambling about paint brand pros and cons, he did his research on the way in since you were driving and he brought the book from the school library. You follow and half listen.

"What?"

Ralph finally catches on to your soft smile. You glance around to make sure no one is in earshot because god forbid these gossipers over hear your conversation right now.

"I guess I got you pretty excited last night, huh," you say with a sense of pride. Ralph feels the opposite about his performance this morning.

"I just… I think it's just been a while." He occupies his hands by grabbing every single free swatch sample on the shelf and says, "I promise I will make it up to you."

You roll your eyes in a not unkind way. "It's fine, babe, really. I uh… it feels kind of good to know I still have that kind of effect on you…"

Ralphie sports a smile of his own and puts you under his arm. "Of course you do, sugar."

He leans down to plant a kiss on your lips when you're interrupted by a bright voice. It's so startling that your husband bounces away from you. He stares wide eyed at the woman who interrupted you and he gets that dark look in his eye that only you can see.

"Jesus, Julie," he tries his best not to growl her name. "This is Julie, she's a teacher at the school. Julie this… is… my wife."

Julie makes a noise like a whistle. "Oh my god you are so much more beautiful than I imagined! Ralph doesn't have a picture of you in his office!"

"It's on my desk," he huffs, "it's the one turned towards me."

"And why would you do that?"

"...so I can look at it while I work…?"

Julie's… a little too hands on for just meeting you. You're too reserved to say something about it so you sling a loose arm around her back and hope Ralph doesn't say something for you.

"Hi Julie, it's nice to finally meet you," you tell her. "Ralph's been slowly but surely introducing me to the concept of his coworkers."

"I can't believe we haven't met before now! Ralph keeping you all to himself, me and the other teachers are just so curious about you," she coos. It feels almost put on, like overindulging in sweet to play up her first impression. You let it slide though, maybe it's just your city lens.

"Well, uh, once we've got the house fixed up a bit, we can plan a housewarming party," you suggest. "But not a day before and you may quote me on that, miss!"

Julie laughed and gave you her phone number 'in case you need anything at all.' Ralph breathed easy once she finally left and you tug his ear gently. "She's veeerry friendly."

Ralphie shoots you a glare like you'd made a joke he didn't find funny and you go back to debating the paint to use for your walls eagerly.

@escape-your-grape @hoodoo12 @softbeej @go-commander-kim @beetlesstuff @imma-fucking-nerd @werwulfy

#three bees writing #smut #🐝🐝🐝✒#Ralph Lamont #ralph lamont x reader #alex brightman #black reader insert

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