#MY FIRST PROPER RANT ON HERE IM SO NERVOUS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celestialrry · 3 years

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nerves

4.8k

HELLLLO IM WRITING THIS INTRO AND POSTING THIS WHILE FALLING ASLEEP SO ILL POST ALL THE DETAILS ADN ADD THIS TO MU MASTERLIST LATER I LOVE TOU ALL THANK YOU FOR FOLOWING AND REBLOGGIN KISSES FOT YOU ALL (this is like right after release of hs1 harry I think hope you enjoy mwah)

summary: Actress!Y/N goes onto a talk show, and the host has a surprise for her.

warnings: cursing, kinda sorta an anxiety attack?

Y/N was nervous.

This would only be the 5th talk show she’s ever gone on alone after being in the spotlight for a few years when her acting career took off. She started off with indie films and soon made her way to the red carpet, working with esteemed actors and actress’s she could only ever dream of meeting. It was pure bliss.

Of course, fame came with other struggles like hate from the media and random people on twitter, but at the end of the day she was so grateful she had the opportunity to be in the business. She loved getting into a character, finding out what makes them click, and fully emerging herself in whatever film she’s in. At the moment, she was promoting her new film, and being the lead, she had gone on a few talk show’s by herself, but they never failed to make her sick to her stomach. Having no one to turn to when it gets awkward, even not having body heat by her side in front of a live audience and a professional host made her body rack with goosebumps.

“Miss L/N?”

Her head turned towards the door of the dressing room she had been sitting in for 15 minutes alone, trying to get her nerves down. “Yes?’ She responded flashing a forced smile to the assistant standing in the door way. “They’re ready for you.” She nodded her head and stood up, brushing the non-existent dust off her long dress and tumbled a bit on her heels to follow the assistant that was already walking towards the side stage.

They instructed her to wait until her name was called, then walk onto stage and take a seat and have the show progress. So Y/N stood there, biting her bottom lip that was coated with clear gloss and her arms crossed around her waist, her heel covered toe tapping the floor in anticipation.

“Now welcome our very special, and gorgeous guest, Y/N L/N!” She heard Jimmy Kimmel announce and took a short breath before stepping through the automatically opening curtains. She smiled and waved at the people sitting in the audience, happy to see people supporting her, and greeted Jimmy before taking a seat on the loveseat closest to his desk.

“Y/N! Welcome, how are you feeling tonight?” He flashed a comforting smile at her.

She chuckled a bit due to her inability to not laugh in uncomfortable situations. “I’ll be honest with you Jimmy,” She said, adjusting herself in the seat. “M’ pretty nervous.”

“Nervous?” He asked. “Now, why would 2 time Emmy Nominee Miss Y/N L/N be nervous?” Jimmy teased.

Her eyes fell to the floor and her cheeks heated up before looking back at him. “Because,” She dragged out. “It’s always nerve-racking being on live TV.”

He just nodded and made a joke about feeling the same even though he does this every week.

“How are you feeling tonight?” She asked.

He smiled before resting his arms on his desk. “I’m feeling good, I have a surprise for you later, but I’m supposed to ask the questions now, will you let me?”

“Of course I will.” She smiled back.

Y/N met Jimmy the first year she really became “famous” and he had always been her favorite late-night talk show host just because he was never invasive or creepy. Her standards for hosts were quite low at this point. They continued on, promoting her new movie and such before he settled back in his seat.

“So.” He said.

“So.” She said back, raising a brow.

“I hate to ask you this, but I honestly am curious myself,” He began, and her anxiety creeped up just a bit. “Now, we dug through your old interviews, and it seems in every single one, when asked if you had a celebrity crush, your answer was Harry Styles?”

She simply nodded, her cheeks heating up again, and a small smile creeping onto her face at his name.

“I see that smile, Y/N.” Jimmy said, and she let out a laugh, her smile now wide.

“So, do you mind telling us why you like him so much, or should I say love him so much?” His brow raised.

Y/N laughed a bit more, just at her nerves, and took a breath. “Um, he’s always been such an inspiration for me to actually chase my career, I mean I knew him from when he was on X-Factor to be honest. Binged that show all the time when I was in middle school and to see a boy just 2 years older than me just go straight into being in one of the biggest boy-bands in the world was insane. He’s just so passionate about what he does and I admire him for that. Uh- from what I can tell he’s just very charming, sweet, funny, caring, and…” She trailed off her rant, biting her bottom lip just a tad.

“And?”

“He’s incredibly attractive.” She finished a smile on her face as she glanced at the floor again.

“Understandable. I think he’s a good looking man myself, met him a few times and got flustered,” Jimmy jokes before looking at Y/N. “What if I told you he was the surprise I had for you?”

Her brows furrow as she looks at the man sitting across from her. “What? Do you mean like a video-” She feels a tap on her shoulder.

Y/N turns around, still massively confused, and then she sees him.

Harry standing in a simple black suit and white button up, only a few of the buttons actually buttoned and her jaw drops. “Hello.” He says, smiling at her.

Her eyes are wide and she looks like a dear in headlights before her face falls into her hands, elbows resting on her knees, her breath erratic. “No, this isn’t- no. He’s not here.” She says into her hands and the crowd laughs. Everyone laughs.

“M’a bit offended you think I’m not really here, love.” Harry grins, and she pulls her face out of her shaking hands to see him.

She opens her mouth to say something and nothing comes out.

Harry Styles, her celebrity crush since the ripe age of 14, a crush thats lasted 8 years being 22 now, and she’s only seen him on screens her entire life. “Fuck.” Was all she can say. He laughs a bit at her starstruck appearance and turns to Jimmy. “She’s not normally like this, right?”

“Right.” The host jokes, looking back at the girl on the couch, and his smile diminishes a bit. Her eyes are watering and she’s trying to keep her composure but her bottom lip is trembling and Jimmy’s now worried he’s about to have a sobbing woman on live TV.

“You okay Y/N?” Jimmy asks and her head quickly turns to him and then back to Harry. “I-fuck, I’m sorry.” She tries to laugh it off. Tries not to think about how the man she’s loved even before she knew what love truly was, was standing in front of her right now.

“Don’t be sorry.” Harry says, slightly frowning but trying to keep a happy face. He’s standing in front of a girl he’s adored ever since he watched her first movie, for Christs sake, and she’s silently about to break down in front of him, because of him.

Before he can even properly introduce himself, she’s standing on her heels, wobbling a bit, and looking up at him. “Can I hug you?” She mouths, not wanting her question to be picked up on the mic on the back of her dress and before her mouth even closes he’s stepping towards her, big arms wrapping around her waist. Her arms find their way around his chest and her head is resting on his shoulder and her eyes are squeezed shut and she’s mouthing “Oh my fucking god. Oh my god.” Without realizing she’s facing the audience who laugh at her inability to not fangirl. His head dips as he hugs her, reveling in her touch, and then she’s pulling away, remembering they’re on live TV and she can give him a proper hug backstage after this is over when they don’t have to worry about appearances.

She’s still reeling when his hands slide off her waist and he sticks his hand out and says “It’s so nice to meet you.” She takes his calloused hand in hers and says “Same to you.” Blinking away unshed tears.

“Shall we sit then?” He asks and she looks at Jimmy admiring the moment before back at Harry. “You’re staying?” She blurts out before shutting her mouth abruptly.

“If you want me too.” He grins that grin she’s always been infatuated by and she nods, maybe too quickly. “Of course I do- yes,” She coughs. “Yeah, uh, please, let’s.”

They both plant themselves on the loveseat, Y/N taking the spot in which she was before and Harry sitting on the other end, keeping a distance between the two. She recomposes herself and sits up. Harry looks at her for a moment before looking back at Jimmy.

“How are y’Jimmy?” He asks.

“I’m doing well, proud of myself for inviting you, you’re the one person I’ve seen make Y/N go absolutely speechless here,” Jimmy jokes and Y/N groans and smiles, leaning her top half on the arm of the chair, her face in her hands before sitting back up. “How about you, Harry?”

“M’doing well, was very excited to see Y/N here and I’d hopefully say it’s the same for her.” He smiles looking at her, dimples flashing.

“Yeah!” Her voice squeaks. “You’re right. It’s the same for me. I-” She cut’s herself off from saying she’s shitting her pants at the moment. Figuratively, of course, but it’s not very appropriate. She still can’t believe this. Twitter is going to have a field day talking about how flustered Y/N was at this moment.

“Have something you want to say, Y/N? To Harry, more specifically?” Jimmy asks.

“Um,” She begins, locking eyes with Harry. “Did you hear, what I said, um, before you walked out here?”

The green eyed man nods.

Her hands start shaking again and she awkwardly laughs. “I’m sorry you heard that.” She apologizes.

“Why are you apologizing?” Harry asks her, tilting his head and Y/N was going to pass out. “I’m glad you think all those things about me, plus, it’s a nice ego booster to hear that you think I’m ‘incredibly attractive’.” He chuckles a bit, but truthfully he was happy his celebrity crush feels the same way about him.

She just laughs back and mumbles a “Thanks.” Before Jimmy starts up a conversation about whatever was going on at the moment.

Jimmy and Harry start talking about something and Y/N nods her head and laughs when it’s appropriate but she couldn’t process anything. Her hands were interlocked, shaking in her lap, and all she could feel was Harry. Harry sitting next to her, Harry breathing next to her, Harry waving his hands around while he spoke in front of her. It was all too much.

Suddenly his knee lightly knocked against her own. She abruptly turned to look at him, but he was still looking at Jimmy. So she assumed it was a mistake, until it happened again, and this time when her eyes looked to him, his met her’s and he gently and subtly moved closer to their thighs were touching. Y/N let the leg that was crossed over her other relax and fall to the couch, only her ankles crossed, and she swore she could hear his breath stop for a moment, but it was too quiet to be sure.

A few moments after they both had gained the courage to barely revel in each others touch, Jimmy was ending the show. Y/N doesn’t remember what she said or did before the camera cut off, she vaguely remembers waving to the audience but she’s not completely sure.

And then it’s over- just like that.

“This was so fun Jimmy, thank you for inviting me on.” Harry said, standing up (reluctantly) and going to give Jimmy a hug. Y/N on the other hand was watching the interaction and it all hit her like a wave again. Harry fucking Styles was standing in front of her. The men both turn to her as she stands up and she gives a weak smile and mumbles “I forgot I needed to text my assistant, m’sorry I’ll be back.” before speed walking behind the curtain and booking it to her dressing room. She quickly flips the “Do Not Disturb” side of the sign on the door to show and closes the door behind her, her breathing accelerating.

She barely makes it to the couch before bursting out in tears.

Y/N couldn’t really put a finger on whether or not they were tears of joy, sadness, embarrassment, or a combination of all 3. She’s pretty sure it’s the latter though. She slips her heels off and lies on the couch, her hands over her face with not so silent cries as she tries to calm herself.

Meanwhile, both Harry and Jimmy sensed that Y/N wasn’t just going to text her assistant. “Do you think- do you think I said something maybe?” Harry quietly asks the late night host as they walk behind the curtain and into a quieter hallway backstage. Jimmy simply shakes his head before locking eyes with Harry. “Have you seen any of the videos where she talks about you, Harry?”

He shakes his head no and the older man pulls out his phone, doing a quick scroll of his email before finding video file and opening it. “A couple of interns here made this combination of all the times she talked about you in her interviews.”We were gonna play it as you were coming out but her manager said it would be too embarrassing.” Was the only preface Jimmy gave before clicking play.

Y/N stood in an elegant emerald colored gown just off the red carpet, all done up for her first big movie premiere. An interviewer stands in front of her, holding a mic that the woman was moving between herself and Y/N. “So Miss L/N, we need some juicy secrets from the “It-Girl” herself. Who’s your celebrity crush?” Y/N looks at the floor, a shy smile on her face as the quietly says “Harry Styles.” The interviewer’s eyes widen and she chuckles a bit. “I feel you honey, what do you like most about him?” Y/N purses her lips slightly before speaking again. “Um, everything? I think he has a really good heart.” The interviewer makes a joke about how she likes his eyes instead and Y/N laughs, but anyone could tell it was forced.

The screen begins to play another clip.

Y/N is sitting on a couch with her co-stars of a movie she did a year ago, dressed in a classy blush colored suit, and they’re all playing a game with some other talk show host. “Let’s see who knows Y/N the best now, shall we?” The host asks, and looks down at the cards in his hand. “Who is her celebrity crush?” And almost immediately all of her friends were jotting down their answers on a white board. “That was fast,” The host laughs, as does everyone else. “Okay everyone, flip it around.” ‘Harry Styles’ was written on every single board. “Oh my god.” She smiles wide out of embarrassment and puts her face in her hands.

It reminds Harry of what she did when she first saw him.

“Y/N! Looks like you’re absolutely smitten with Harry Styles, aren’t you?” The host asks, and before she could even open her mouth, a co-star of hers was already speaking. “She’d play his songs in her trailer in the morning, full volume, and sing them as loud as she could. It was a good way to wake us all up.” He jokes, and everyone laughs at that. “Whenever he’d post a photo on instagram, or tweet something, I’d see tears in her eyes.” Another co-star speaks up. The audience laughs again and she looks to them. ‘I’m serious! Y/N absolutely adores him.” By this time Y/N’s face was out of her hands and she was sinking into the couch. “Are you embarrassed, Y/N/?” The host jokes “Of course not, well I didn’t want to get absolutely exposed, but I’m not embarrassed to be a fan, could never be embarrassed to be a fan of him, he’s… he’s amazing.”

The phone then fades into yet another clip.

This time, Y/N is sitting in a stool, doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview, and she tears off the second paper of the question, “Is Y/N L/N…” . “Is Y/N L/N,” she reads and the paper catches after the word “dating” is revealed. She looks up at the screen, a twinkle in her eyes as she shoots a close-mouthed smile at the camera. She turns back to the board and rips the paper off, struggling a bit and laughing, until it’s revealed. “Is Y/n L/N dating… Harry Styles” She bursts out laughing, her free hand clutching her stomach.

Harry frowns a but at this, and he didn’t feel like thinking more about why.

“Um,” She begins, “Sorry, I just- do I really talk about him, that much? S’a bit concerning.” She mumbles to herself. “Yeah, no, I’m not dating Harry Styles, he would never. Though, I like how people think it could be a possibility, thats quite funny. I’ll take the… hidden compliment, is that even the right phrase?”

The screen goes to another clip but Jimmy pauses it there and turns off his phone, turning to Harry. “You didn’t do anything Harry, it’s just you being here, she’s probably overwhelmed and-“

“Mr. Kimmel? Jones needs you.” Someone calls out to him down the hall and Jimmy slips his phone in this pocket and sighs. “Sorry, gotta handle this, thank you, for coming.”

“It’s okay,” Harry assures him, “Thanks for having me.” And at that Jimmy rushes down the hall in search of Jones, and Harry stands in the same spot

Harry knows how much he means to his fans, he’s seen them sob at concerts, break down at meet and greets, and when they tell him how much they love him when they run into him on the street. He knows this. But this felt different, for some reason. Maybe it was the burning feeling in his chest when she laughed off how he would never be with her, for what particular reason he has no clue (or just doesn’t want to address it), or how he couldn’t help but pop a dimple when he heard she loves his music. He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of though, is that he needed to speak to her again, hug her for longer, actually get to know Y/N. So he walked into the main back room, walking down different halls until he came across the one that read “Dressing Room #4” and Y/N’s name scribbled in messy handwriting on the white board underneath. He knocked a little rhythm, and waited.

Y/N was still crying, to put it lightly. Maybe hyperventilating was the right word, because she was breathing quite fast, and there was a steady stream of tears flowing down her cheeks. She heard the knocks and attempted to calm herself down a bit, yelling out a “One second!” Before wiping under her eyes and walking to open the door. “Eliana,” She began, ready to wave her assistant way (not that she didn’t adore her, but Y/N needed to be alone before talking about everything), “Can you come back in like 15 minutes, I’m sorry I just need to-”

Her mouth closed when she saw Harry outside of her door, his small smile quickly fading into a frown as he took in her state. “Y/N I wanted to- are you okay?” He asked, stepping a bit closer, trying not to push any boundaries. When she didn’t respond and he saw her bottom lip quiver a bit, his chest clenched. “Can I come in? Can we talk?” He gently asked, eyes running over her puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, and disheveled appearance.

She nodded and he walked in, and she gently shut the door behind him. He turned around to look at her and when his eyes met her’s, she couldn’t take it anymore. She let out a gut-wrenching sob and her face fell in her hands as she shook her head. “I-I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” She choked out and he stepped towards her, his hand coming to rest on her elbow. “Y/N, please, don’t apologize.” And without thinking he took the last step towards her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her firmly, one of his hands cradling the back of her head. Her hands fell from her face and she held him back, arms wrapping tightly around his torso yet again.

As she cried into his chest, he mumbled a soft, “Breathe for me, love.”, and she tried to get her breathing to match his own deep breathes. “I’m sorry,” Y/N says for the millionth time. “I told you to stop apologizing, Y/N, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He frowns to himself, that burning feeling in his chest again. She reluctantly pulls away, and his hands remain on her arms as her own come up to wipe the tears flowing out of her eyes.

“You didn’t sign up to be here and have to deal with a crying fan, Harry.” Y/N sighs, finally looking up at him.

“Hey, I came because I wanted to see you, I’ve seen your movies and I think everything you’re absolutely incredible at what you do, and when Jimmy called asking if I could come to surprise you I jumped at the chance to finally meet you. I know what I signed up for.” He says, his thumbs rubbing the skin of her arms gently.

At his words she let out another sob, her shaking hands coming up to cover her face for a moment yet again. Harry’s eyes widened, he was telling the honest truth, and he didn’t think he said anything wrong. Y/N however, was seeing in person, how king he truly was, and it was just another reality check that the Harry she’s loved for so long really is the same in real life; it was too much to handle. “Thank you,” She sniffles, looking up at him again, meeting his piercing green eyes. “I just, I’ve adored you for years, still do, and I never thought I’d meet you, even after I started getting ‘known’, I always thought you were like, too perfect to be real, and now you’re here and you’re real, and y’know when you meet a celebrity who seems so sweet in interviews and all that but they turn out to be an absolute prick? It’s not like that, you’re the same person I’ve loved over a screen, I- you’ve been my inspiration for fucking years and I don’t know. It’s just a lot.”

Now her hands were on his arms and they stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.

“M’not perfect, Y/N.” Harry says softly. Y/n chuckles a bit, glancing to the side before meeting his eyes yet again. “I know, I know the ‘nobody’s perfect’ crap, but if you’re insistent on it, then I think you’re the closest thing there is to perfect, Harry.”

His cheeks turn pink at her confession, and a small smile weaves its way onto his face. “Thank you,” He finally says, before bringing her into another hug, this time her arms wrapped around his neck, and he bends down a bit to hold her tighter. “For everything you said, seriously, you’ve got no idea how much it means t’me.” He admits, still reveling in her touch. She slowly pulls away, noting in her head that he never seems to be the one to let go first. “Of course, wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” She smiles weakly, still drained from all the emotions flowing through her. He just smiles at that, before his hand drags down her arm and he hold her hand, wordlessly pulling her over to sit on the couch.

He doesn’t let go of her hand as they sit quite close facing each other. “Do y’wanna hear a secret? It might make you feel better.” He suggests, cursing himself for being willing to do anything to see her smile fully. “I wish I could lie and say that it’s something I wouldn’t know, but I think I know a bit too much about you.” She says, letting out a small laugh, and he does too. “I promise you don’t know this.” He mumbles.

“Okay, go for it.” She says, holding his hand a bit tighter.

“Well, after you bolted here, Jimmy showed me a few of your interviews, and I wanted to tell you that you’re my celebrity crush too.”

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen, a face that looks eerily similar to when she saw him for the first time just an hour prior. “You saw my interviews?” She gasps, her voice cracking at the embarrassment of him seeing her shamelessly confessing her love for him about a million times. It was safe to say she didn’t hear the rest of his confession.

“That’s what you’re focusing on here?” Harry laughs and raises a brow at Y/N.

“What else is there to focus on,” She groans, taking her hand out of his and burying her face into her hands yet again. “I can’t believe Jimmy showed you that, I’m never coming on this show again.”

Harry grins, a dimple popping as he gently wraps his arms around her wrists, pulling her hands off her face. “Did y’hear what I said after that?” He asks softly, his eyes bring into her own. She shakes her head “no” in response and he takes a quick breath before telling her yet again.

“I said, you’re my celebrity crush too. I’ve watched everything you’ve been in and I think y’are absolutely amazing, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t think you’re beautiful, inside and out.”

Y/N’s jaw drops for the thousandth time that night.

“You’re fucking with me.” She deadpans, her face blank and mind swimming with emotions.

He frowns and squeezes her hands. “M’not, swear to you.”

She shakes her head in denial. There’s no way she was Harry Style’s celebrity crush. Not in a million years would she ever think those words would be spoken, much less even thought of.

“You don’t believe me?” Harry asks, his head tilting a bit to the side.

“I believe tha you’re just too nice and you feel bad for me, so that’s why you’re telling me this.” Y/N admits to him, a sad smile on her face.

“Really?” He asks, letting go of her hands and bringing one of his own to his pocket.

“Really. I appreciate it, I do, but you don’t have to try and make me feel less humiliated, I think we’ve already passed the point of no return.” Y/N says, laughing a bit.

“Mmm, okay,” He smirks. “Well that just won’t do. May I have your number?”

She raises a brow as he pushes his phone into her hands, already pulled up on a new contact. She types in her number and “#1 fan” in the name and hand the phone back to him. Harry laughs when he sees the contact name and saves it to his phone, then putting it back in his pocket.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Harry muses, a teasing glint in his eye.

She purses her lips. “Why did you just ask for my number?”

“So I can contact you of course,” Harry smiles. “How else am I supposed to set up another date with you?”

“Another?” Y/N questions, her lips turning up.

“’m a gentleman of course, would never ask you out on a first date over the phone,” Harry calmly explains. “So would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?”

Y/n hesitates, unsure if this was still an ask out of pity. “You can meet me at my house, of course if you’re comfortable, and I’ll order us takeout to eat on my porch.” He continues, getting more exciting as he imagines how the date would go.

“What makes you think I’d say yes?” She teases and his mouth gapes.

“Oh fuck off.”

#I just used jimmy cause I didn't feel like making my own host up lolz #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles #harrys styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfiction #im literally half asleep but I needed to post this tonight #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n

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queerconfusionthings · 4 years

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Pockets and Gifts

Thirteenth Doctor x reader

A late birthday fic for @kinglivv. Sorry it took so long but i hope you had the Best birthday, ily babe. it's short, and i never proofread, but hopefully it's sufficiently soft

(Also, i intended to start adding the 'read more's to my fics after actually learning how to do them, but my tumblr mobile is still being fecky. they'll be there from now on though)

Taglist: @psychobitchtess @dykecious @osterhagen @lostshadow12 @thejinxmaster @bitemealiienboy @im-tired-24-7 @sweetlittlesoufflegirl @truthbehindthemysteries @startrekkingaroundasgard @ettorah @theaussietimelord @captainlgordon @findingyouagain @fabulous-jj-style

When travelling in time, there becomes a tendency to lose count of the real hour of the day, or indeed the day itself. This is why you were absolutely meticulous about it. No matter where the Doctor took you, far into the future or past, or onto a planet with an entirely different time rotation, you'd make a habit to know what time it would be on earth since last leaving.

It was pointless of course, the Doctor told you so many times, as she'd often take you all back home either at the same time as leaving or an accidental few hours late. But it grounded you. It grounded you back to a small sense of reality and a slight normality. And the Doctor wasn't one to deny you that luxury, even if she often stated that it wasn't technically a 'tuesday' or 'wednesday' like you insisted on mentioning back on earth.

She'd even told you that there was no point in celebrating your birthday on the technically correct time relevant to you. You'd go back home and have to do it all again either a few days or few hours later. And if it was a few hours later, she'd said, you'd have to eat a second lot of party food after already being full.

"Don't have to celebrate it, just like knowing that it technically will be my birthday."

She'd only hummed, launching into a rant about the effects of time travel on someone's internal body clock. You hadn't quite listened.

Besides, you hadn't even mentioned it on the day. You'd just thought about it silently to yourself. A year older. And any adventure from the TARDIS was like a giant sized birthday treat in itself. No one else had really mentioned it either, you'd all celebrate eachother's birthdays back on Earth. It was much more simple. Besides which, you preferred to have it as your own little uplifting secret.

Though, on the way into the console room, Graham had patted your shoulder with a muffled "Happy birthday, mate," mouth filled with a half eaten jaffa cake. That was more than enough for you, especially added to the unusual ease the TARDIS had given you in navigating her halls that morning.

The adventure had seemed fairly common place too. A misdirection by the TARDIS on where the Doctor had intended to go, which meant a fun, slightly dangerous and adrenaline inducing adventure. Run around a bit, run around a bit more, listen to an inspiring lecture on morality from the Doctor, and get back inside with smiles and cups of tea. No getting stuck in a jail cell with the latter after all devices useful to an escape had been taken away.

No getting stuck in a jail cell.

Huh.

"We'll be out in no time, don't you worry. Good in a tight spot, me, always 'ave been. Sonic's just a conveniance, a proper nice conveniance, but I can do without it."

She was pacing around the limited space, boots hitting against the dampness of the floor, hands absolutely flailing as her nose twitched in thought. You'd opted for sitting back against the wall instead, arms loosely leaning on your outstetched knees, looking up at her with an encouraging expression. At least you hoped it was an encouraging expression. You really had nothing else to offer. You'd even told her so when she'd asked for any ideas.

"Nonsense. Full of good ideas, you are. Catching Yaz up with points too," she said, before spinning on her heel to look upon the whole cell. You assumed she was remembering that the others were in seperate cells, her brows furrowing and lips pressing together in a manner that suggested this was simply inconveniant.

"Aren't you doing gold stars?"

She snapped out of it and swung back to you, face animated in rememberance. "I knew I'd gotten it mixed up. Gold stars, points, they're all the same. You can have one now! Gold star, for bein' a great listener."

"I've just sat here," you told her quite frankly, not too bothered one way or the other.

She seemed oddly offended by it however, walking straight towards you with her arms flailing. "You've done more than just sit there. Been handy to bounce my thoughts off, and you're calm! Calm in a prison cell, and on your sort of birthday no less."

You managed a barely audible laugh at that, smiling up at her with barely contained amusment. "Thanks, doc." Besides her praise at your supposedly helpful calmness, you were honestly a little surprised. She hadn't even said the word 'birthday' so far, nor had she alluded to it in any sense. It'd be a very odd thing to notice if it had been anyone else, but the Doctor always looked particularly awkward at any mention of it, and often started talking a mile a minute at how the widespread human tradition confused her.

She stopped then, arms falling to her side as she resigned to rather dramatically falling to your side.

"You alright?" You ask.

She only hums.

"You sure you don't have anything in your pockets. They only took your sonic didn't they?" She'd taken two barbie dolls out of one pocket before, much to everyone's confusion. It would've been sinister if it had been anyone else, but it convinced you that she hadn't been lying about her 'pocket innovation.'

The Doctor pursed her lips. "Nothing." Very unconvincing.

"You know when you told me I'm a bad liar- "

"Nothing I want to use," she clarified, recluding back into her standoffish mode that was so common place now. You tried to avoid it as much as possible, but she had a tendency to be dramatic.

"That's fine and everything, but the others..." you attempted softly.

She was silent and still for just a moment, before turning to face you. There was a slight panic that you'd done something wrong, but she seemed more gently saddened that anything else. "I'd have to take it apart." You were silent as she reached inside of her coat and pulled out a small, square, black shaped box. She held it in her hand for a moment longer. Then it was passed to you.

You furrowed your eyebrows. It was yet another two moments before she seemed to realise that she hadn't explained anything, but simply handed you a mysterious box with a saddened gaze. "Oh, right. A present. Your present."

"My present?"

"Honestly," she chastised, "that's what I just said."

You shouldn't have been mentally mocking her for taking so long with every action taken in the cell, because here you were staring, wide eyed and open mouthed. To be fair, it har been highly unexpected. First of all, she'd been very elusive and vague as to what was in her pockets, and second of all, this didn't seem like her at all.

You opened it nonetheless, as careful as possible and placed the lid down. A pocket watch. A deep blue and silver outlined pocket watch, with a rather intricate looking face. Since you made no move to touch anything other than picking it up, she leaned over to twist a button on top. The time changed, and the date above it shifted. "The time on Earth in relation to when you were last there. It'll change every time you go back home." She twisted the button again. "How old you are, the time in relation to how long you've been travelling in the TARDIS. She helped me with that bit."

You seemed to just keep staring at her. It was incomprehensibly thoughtful and infinitely more personal. An oddity for someone who often tried to keep her feelings hidden.

"I, uh, used the parts of an old watch of mine."

She seemed nervous now. You should assure her. You should assure her and stop staring at her, because that was strange. "Thanks." Shit, that sounded apathetic and ungrateful. "I mean, I didn't- it's amazing, Doctor. Didn't expect it."

"Only thing I have on me that can get us out." Oh. "The springs," she elaborated weakly. Oh.

You looked down at it, stroking the pattern on the back with your thumb. "If it's the only thing," you said, somehow even more weakly.

You were very close to eachother now. She'd leaned in to adjust the watch and apparently hadn't moved. The warmth was nice. It'd be nicer if she didn't look so much more upset than you.

"I can just keep asking you for the times anyway," you attempted to reassure her. "Probably much more interesting if I keep annoying you, especially for me."

The laugh was more of a puff of air akin to a scoff than anything else, but it was something. And then there was something more. "Don't think you're capable of annoyin' me, Y/n." Your throat dried, and your lips turned up. You vaguely remembered that she had once mentioned how her biology meant she could hear as much as a heartbeat increasing. You didn't quite believe it, but it made you a little nervous in than moment nonetheless.

"I'll continue to try then." You tentatively uncurled her hand and placed the watch on her palm. "Trips with you a- and the fam, are beyond gift enough, Doc."

The smile on her face was more than genuine, and you reckon that your rapidly beating heart had suddenly stopped. It certainly felt like it. But it seemed justified. A rare sight that you alone just got the pleasure of witnessing. Maybe the happiness that came along with that was selfish, but you couldn't say you minded all too much.

"Happy sort of birthday, Y/n."

#doctor who #13th doctor #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #13th doctor imagine #thirteenth doctor imagine #doctor who imagine #jodie whittaker #jodie whittaker x reader #jodie whittaker imagine #the doctor #the doctor x reader #the doctor imagine #dw #dw imagine #dw x reader

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tinybibmpreg · 3 years

Text

finally i start another prompt challenge thing & finally i write a proper mpreg thing again lmao. anyways heres the first one im posting about my two villain ocs, Jack, the King of Spades, and Pastel. prompt 22 - Oh, you’re just grumpy

King of Spades: Just Grumpy

“Oh, you're just grumpy,” Pastel told her lover as he paced back and forth, complaining and grumbling. A few of their henchmen stood by, standing ramrod straight and still as statues. Pastel couldn't blame them for being so nervous. Jack was volatile even when he was in the best moods, and right now he was ranting and raving. “Cheer up, hon! Everythin’s on track today, you're halfway done making that new superweapon of yours, and Doc gave you a clean bill’a health this mornin’.”

Jack shot her an incredulous look. She gave him a big smile, which usually always helped to calm him when he was overstressed.

It didn't help.

Pastel supposed she shouldn't have been surprised. Doc had warned her from the start that as Jack’s pregnancy progressed, and knowing how erratic the man could be, he was bound to have moody episodes. So far the mood swings seemed to only enhance his usual ones during work- more intense anger while being thwarted by heroes, increased frustration at incompetent henchmen and difficultly building weapons, and an elevated sense of pride and elation whenever a plan or new device was successful. Not much of a change, and nothing unpleasant for Pastel. He'd settled a bit the past two months, but now that he was entering his third trimester the mood swings had come back with a vengeance.

It seemed Jack was hitting the next stage of moodiness. She hadn't been there to see what had set him off, but he had been working himself into a fit.

And now her best trick had failed.

Doc had said Jack might become unreasonable. He was pretty stubborn already, so Pastel had hoped she'd still be the one person that could always cheer Jack up no matter how upset he got.

“Just grumpy?!” Jack repeated, voice raised. Pastel laughed nervously. How wrong she'd been! Her laugh didn’t help either. “I’m miserable! This whole fucking freakshow is absolutely awful. I hate being pregnant! Having this stupid little parasite in my guts, making my life horrible-” He gesticulated wildly as he spoke, gesturing to his swollen belly as he referred to the baby as a parasite.

Pastel decided she wouldn't try to protest against him by listing what he himself had said wasn't horrible about being pregnant. He didn't look like he wanted to be reminded of his increased libido or that the baby would be inheriting his special blood type, which would let him use the child in his schemes. Maybe if he ranted for a while more he'd tire himself out and want to nap. Jack always felt better when he was well-rested. She tried to gently encourage him to get out what was really upsetting him beyond vaguely saying that he hated being pregnant. Maybe then she could help. “Oh, Pumpkin-”

She didn't get very far. “Don't ‘Pumpkin’ me! You're the reason I'm like this!”

“Actually that was Intoxic and Cal’s fault.” She wouldn't take responsibility for being pushed into their fellow villain’s weird experimental ooze twice by Jack’s nemesis, the hero Commander Cal. That wasn't her fault and Jack knew it. If anything, it was Jack’s. She’d told him both times it was a bad idea to work with Intoxic. They were brilliant at mass destruction and decommissioning heroes but had little control over what or who they destroyed and affected.

“Fine! Fine, you're right about that.” He waved that off. His anger began to morph into misery. “Sorry.”

“That's alright, hon. You're stressed. Did somethin’ happen while you were workin’ on that new thingy?” She tried to get him back on track.

“Yes. I can’t work.” Pastel glanced over at his work table. The new weapon he was building seemed to be fine, half-built as it was. There was no sign of anything having gone wrong. No burn marks or spillages, nothing smashed or scattered across the floor. His tools weren’t in their usual place, just thrown onto the table like when he got frustrated. It looked like he was screwing and welding something in place with small tools and precise measurements. She wasn’t sure what he was building, some new blaster or scanner of sorts, but it looked like it matched the blueprints Jack had hanging over the table.

Pastel wasn’t an engineer like Jack was, but everything seemed fine.

She rubbed his arms to coax him further, asking, “Why not, hon? Do you feel dizzy or tired?”

“No,” he answered, soundly utterly despondent. Their henchmen wisely all looked away, giving Jack the illusion of privacy. She lifted a hand to his face and he leaned into it. “I can’t use my tools. Everything aches and it’s too hard to walk around with my fucking back and hips, and my ankles and my hands are all swollen-” Glancing down at his hands let Pastel see that they were visibly swollen. The precise tools and tiny pieces he’d been working with would have been very difficult to use. Another glance at a nearby clock had her stifling a wince. Jack had been in his workshop since they’d gotten back from his doctor’s appointment. He’d been on his feet for hours. Jack did all his work standing and hated to take breaks while he was in the middle of a project.

No wonder he was on the verge of tears. It must have been hell on his back and ankles. Pastel sighed. She needed to start setting alarms or something to force him to take breaks. Maybe convince Jack to get a chair, at least until after he gave birth.

Those would be things to try to tackle later, once Jack was feeling better.

She stepped next to him so she could wrap an arm around him and give him a squeeze. It would have been preferable to give him a tight hug, but that was now impossible with his belly in the way and had been for a few months.

“How about we head on home so you can relax, Pumpkin? We’ll get ya off your feet and settled down, and I’ll rub your back and massage your hands. Saw something about that in one of your books.” She hadn’t thought too much about the different massage techniques one of Jack’s prenatal books listed, mostly focusing on what to do for the expected backaches. Pastel was sure it couldn’t be very different from a foot massage, which she thought she was pretty good at.

He glanced back at his work table, not too thrilled about the idea. Pastel stepped back in front of him and grabbed his wrists, lifting his swollen hands up between them. She jiggled them a bit, giving him a pointed look. “Hey…” he protested.

“Come on, hon. You know getting a massage always makes you feel better.” He grumbled and she insisted, “You don’t have to be embarrassed, hon.”

“Fine. We’ll head home.” He pulled away from her and quickly wiped at his eyes before stalking off. As he passed their henchmen, his face reddened and he hissed at them, “Not a fucking word about anything that happened today!”

A chorus of ‘yes, sir’s’ and nods followed them on their way out of the room. Pastel waved goodbye to them as she caught up with Jack, taking his arm. She took his car keys from his pocket and ignored his protest that only he drove his car. Since she was quicker than him now that he had extra weight and a new center of balance, he couldn’t try to get to the driver’s side before she was already settling in behind the wheel. She hit a button so his door slid open for him.

He grunted as he sat down, then hissed and turned away when he saw her grinning at him. “Don’t stare at me!” His ears went pink and Pastel was sure his face was just as hot. Jack was so easily flustered now.

“You’re so cute, Pumpkin.”

“Just drive.”

#mpreg #male pregnancy #i love jack n pastel a lot so i am going to do more prompt fills with them. jack hates being pregnant and pastel loves when hes pregnant #so its very fun to write lmao #oblio's fics #original story #Jack O. Spades (KoS)#Pastel (KoS)#King of Spades - story tag

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isabellitah · 4 years

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Hi! May I request a headcanon with the reader (number eight) and the siblings, where the reader is like super caring to all of them? Thank you! 💕

🤍 HARGREEVES x SIBLING

Title : babie hen

Pairing : none

Warning : a few cuss words and this is long ok

Request : Hi! May I request a headcanon with the reader (number eight) and the siblings, where the reader is like super caring to all of them? Thank you! 💕

Note : Hiii 🤍 i hope this is to your liking hehe

i made a wholeass scenario before i reread the request and noticed the word hEADCANON SO IM V SORRY THAT THIS WAS DELAYED I-

anyway-

Number Eight-

ah yes, the sweetest babie in the whole world, as mentioned by Klaus at some point in their lives

said babie is also their mother hen- well, aside from Allison that is

Luther Hargreeves

eightie always makes sure that Luther never overworks himself

and when he does, your always there for him

making sure he’s hydrated

feeding him lil snacks so that he isn’t starving

i bet you sliced off the crusts of the sandwich bc we all know Luther can be a big babie too hmph

and you’re just overall being there for him, supporting him like any sister would do for their older brother

but when he tries to over overwork himself, which is rare as it only happens when he’s anxious about something, you bet your ass you trapped him in a water sphere and nyoomed him to his room and onto his bed- basically forcing him to rest gorl he’s wet he has to shower before napping but ok-

now that that big babie is in his room, time to check on big babie number two-

Diego Hargreeves

Diego- the lil menace currently chasing Klaus with knives for who knows what reason

you weren’t even gonna ask

it’s nothing new

but anway-

you called them for snacks thus ending their “game of tag”

game of tag my ass-

more like pin the dagger on Klaus

while eating the sandwiches you made them, you noticed a lil bit of jam on the corner of Diego’s mouth

the moment Klaus ran off after eating his sandwich, and Diego stood up to follow him, you took a napkin, licked it a bit, and wiped the jam off of Diego’s face

lil murderous babie blushed and whined at you to stop

you kept wiping at his skin as though the jam was still there just to play with him

anyway, after you stopped, he quickly left to - maybe - go find Klaus

before he left though, he turned to you, wrapped his arms around you, mumbled a quick “thank you eightie” and ran off

keeping in mind where your three siblings are, you decided to go find Allison

Allison Hargreeves

surprisingly, you find both Allison panicking in her room

apparently Luther asked her out and she doesn’t know what to wear, how to style her hair, how to do her make-up, should she wear ma-

she was freaking out bc she never thought Luther would gather his wits and actually ask her out !!!

she wasn’t prepared ok

and u forced Luther to sleep i- reminder to wake him up later

maybe he tried to over overwork himself bc he’s nervous about their date oop

you immediately entered the room and shut the door behind you

first date, so it should be a good experience ok

keeping this in mind, you calmly told her to sit down on her bed and take sips of from the glass of water beside her bed

going through her closet and picking out a casual outfit was easy- Allison has great taste so it wasn’t a challenge at all

clothes and shoes done, and Allison is now calm

you gently lead her to her vanity and slowly started doing a half-up half-down hairdo

for her makeup, you went with a natural makeup- neutral eyeshadow, mascara, a bit of blush, and red lipstick

dress on, heels on, hair done, makeup done, sister immaculate

you were done

simple yet elegant- was how she looked

standing behind the seated woman known as your sister, you slightly teared up- you don’t know why exactly but you-

you felt like a proud mom aww

Allison hugged you and thank you profusely

“Don’t you dare ruin my masterpiece,” you threatened with a wink

you were rewarded with a giggle and a smile

dismissing yourself while she went ahead and took selfies,

you immediately went to go look for Luther i-

after waking him up, it wasn’t hard to stop his whining and convince him to start moving,

you just had to remind him of his date with Allison

and poof

mans was gone

nah not really- he just went to go change

anyway-

now that you think about it- how’s Klaus?

with that thought in mind, you went out of Luther’s room in search of your high brother

Klaus Hargreeves

you found him in the wine cellar

of course

“Klaus, what’re you doing here?”

“Eightie! Fancy seeing you here 🤍 how are you? I haven’t seen you since you fed me that sandwich- great sandwich by the way; the filling was mwah chef’s kiss,”

he said smiling while holding onto vodka 🤍

you internally rolled your eyes and grabbing his wrist, led him upstairs and into his room

you sat down on his bed with your back comfortably resting on his headrest

he just stood their looking resigned

he knew what was about to happen

you do this at least once a week

secretly he was happy though

these weekly talks always made him feel light by the end of the conversation

anyway, he laid down with his head onto your lap

the moment you started combing your hand through his hair, he spilled everything that bothered him

how his power still scared him- seeing the dead anywhere and everywhere

some trying to talk to him

some just creepily staring at him

and some- some trying to harm him

and that he sometimes felt useless or like a nobody in the family

how he felt like such a disappointment

you listened to everything - even to the ones he never said out loud - calmly and patiently

and when he was done, you slowly started refuting everything he said with various memories

his powers once helped you both help a lost soul find his way back home

he always tries to lighten the mood whenever the tension in the room gets high

he’s always there for all of you, offering his love, whenever and wherever

he sets back his problems in order to help you all solve your problems first

the more memories you recall, the better Klaus felt about himself

and that’s what mattered

Five, Ben, and Vanya Hargreeves

after staying to talk with Klaus for a bit longer, you excused yourself after he claimed to be taking a nap

walking around, you hear faint rustling from inside the study room

walking in, you see Five, Ben, and Vanya in various positions by the couch

Five was sitting on the floor, back pressed against couch

Ben was leaning against the arm of the couch with his legs on top of Vanya’s

and Vanya was sitting cross legged on the couch

all three were listening to Ben read a poem

a poem possibly written by him considering the book he was reading was journal

you were about to excuse yourself to give them their privacy when Ben called you over and invited you

looking at your other two siblings and receiving a nod, you thanked them and sat on the floor beside Five who then leaned his head onto the top of your head- yes, you were short

Ben continued reading the poem and you were right- it was poem

a poem that seemed to be about his feelings

you were saddened by how he felt when you were younger but hearing how he feels now boosted your mood- especially when you heard that your siblings were a big factor on why he felt happy and motivated nowadays

hearing a faint grumble beside you, you tapped Five’s thigh to get his head off you so that you can get up

after some grumbling and whining from the man-child, you got up and said you’ll be right back

you left after kissing their cheeks, earning a smile and a blush from Ben, a smile from Vanya, and a pout from Five who still didn’t want you to leave

you pinched his cheek for good measure before running off giggling

arriving at the kitchen, you were surprised - but not really - to see Five there

apparently he went into the kitchen “to help you carry things”

sure- he just wanted to see what you’d make

and so you made them all sandwiches and trimmed the sides off of course which earned youa pleased hum from your ever so helpful brother

his sandwich, after his persistence, had two extra marshmallows

after making their sandwiches you convinced him to head on first with them

and once he left, you went on to make tea for yourself, juice for both Ben and Vanya, and your special brew for Five

once entering the room, the tray of drinks was immediately snatched from you and popped onto the table with Five wearing a cat got the canary grin, “ahh the only person in the world who knows how to make a proper blend- aside from me of course.”

you rolled your eyes and thanked him for his rare compliment on your coffee making skills

Ben and Vanya thanked you for the snacks and you beamed at them and kissed their cheeks as a reply

which led to Five asking you where his kiss was

knowing you’ll get nowhere arguing with him, you kissed his cheek while he was in the middle of ranting of why he deserves a kiss too

which led to his rant being cut off and him spluttering while slowly turning red

which led to you, Vanya, and Ben laughing which resulted in Five slowly smiling and joining your laughter as well

and that’s how you spent your afternoon- the four youngest siblings bonding- talking and laughing about anything and everything under the sun until you ran out of topics and just laid in comfortable silence to the point where you all fell asleep

and that’s how the eldest four siblings found you-

Allison placed a blanket over all of you before leaving with Luther to go on their date

Diego took the trays, plates, and cups you used for your snacks and brought them downstairs before leaving to gomeet with Detective Patch

and Klaus- Klaus laid down next to you so you were in between him and Five and feel asleep almost immediately

the first sleep he’s had in years that didn’t contain nightmares- and of course it was because you were there

you were always there for him- for all of them, really

you never shyed away from showing affection

and you never failed to show your love and care for them

ever

#tua #tua x reader #the umbrella academy #hargreeves x reader #number eight #luther hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #ben hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves x reader #hargreeves x sibling

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jidai · 3 years

Text

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao.

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do.

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN. I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart.

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks 🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee.

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao.

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what--

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

#for mutuals #mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO #this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks #it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess

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yslore · 3 years

Text

Writing Asks

thank u to sarah @soldouthaz, lily @theisolatedlily and late @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me !!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

started in eighth grade after moving which fucked me up (i’m still to recover lmao) n i needed a distraction, reading had always helped but writing is what let me see what the root of my agony was. (im not trying to be pretentious i swear) i first started on wattpad (love hate relationship to this day) and beginning of lockdown this year gravitated to ao3 which has been my saving grace !!!

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

so far i’ve mostly written in louis’ pov. i’ve had to ask this question in the early stages — i resonate the closest to harry. most of my wips are harry centric for that reason. i mean, yes and no — i tend to take some part of me and fit it into the character but at the same time i don’t like seeing me on a page so yes and no.

3. where do you often find inspiration?

EVERYWHERE. mostly others’ stories be it in the way of songs, music, writing, art. usually it’s me coming across a vaguely aesthetic picture and my brain spitting out one or two random scenes and me trying to make that a story.

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

both !!! i have new wips but also i lost a lot of motivation to do anything for a bit. school is sucking the soul out of me — it’s both easier and harder with it being online, the worst part is i can never truly feel like i’m getting a break from it. recently it’s been easier for me bc of the friends i made (ily all) it’s hindered a little bit bc i can’t go out and watch people and streetlights and the blur of cars and try to pour out that feeling into words and create something. at the same time it’s helped me gain more perspective on people and relationships which has been a massive help to writing in general.

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

depending on the number of classes i have/attend, my mental stability, the story and my sensitivity. i often can’t stand loud noises so there’s that but there is always some noise or the other so it’s never truly silent. i like it that way. sometimes i just play intense studying playlist on spotify and write, Lucida by Odin Sørlie and Haunted Heart by Dawn, Dawn, Dawn are my favourites.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

excessive usage of the same word in mine. in general, i’m not a fan of stereotypical characters or romanticising harmful themes.

7. describe your ideal writing setup

2 am, in bed, music still ringing in my ears, three texts from my best friend about a story or about their day. under the blanket, the room smelling of chocolate or something sweet.

8. favorite time of day to write?

anytime but afternoon. those hours are for naps.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

fiction? i’d love to write a fantasy au 👀

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

yep yep. i just edit an old story or read my old works or other writers’ fics. i gave up trying to force myself into writing — i hated the end product and felt bad so.

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

probably the emotions? dialogue without a doubt — i dread writing it. it doesn’t come to me naturally. i can write lengths without dialogue tbh. also smut — it’s an eh eh aspect.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

my wonderful friends. they do dumb shit and i want to tell the world about their dumb shit so i make characters out of them.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

as of now it is fucker — delightful word that one. least favourite is probably squelch — just no.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

the dreamy feeling i manage to write without a doubt !!!! dialogue and pacing. i don’t have the best dialogue or the pacing or the length for fics but i’m working on all of those !!

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

still a wip so i can’t tell you much except that it’s a proper treat. will write this once i’ve posted that fic !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

*nervous laughter* the font changes from fic to fic — crush is comic sans, size 11. October was Lora, 11. Twisted in bedsheets is courier new, 11. stargazing is spectral, 11. so yeah — whatever the fic demands. single spaced !!!! except when i’m overwhelmed i do double spaces.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

I Cannot Type. if you think i can — congratulations you were fooled. autocorrect is the loml.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

of course !!!! i basically do not exist out of my writing.

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

pain, pining, longing. lust.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

we’re all fucked up but we’re trying and trying sometimes is enough. you shouldn’t spend your life carved out around one person. it’s okay to ask for help and need a shoulder to lean on. i hope these come across in my future fics !!!!

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

bold of you to assume i’ve ever received advice.

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

a new fic. will update the answer once that fic is out !!!!!

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically. i can’t do out of order. i do have a page full of scribbles but they are to tell me the order sjakmd.

24. how do you handle criticism?

if it’s constructive then well. no thick skin tbh. makes me feel as if i need validation from someone else on my art which isn’t necessary but my brain is wired to seek it and it’s a hassle.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

write everything you would want to read. write it bad, don’t worry about the quality. don’t worry about the audience. end of the day, it should be something you can turn to for comfort not something that makes you feel bad.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

people telling me they like my writing and it could take them out of this world for a few minutes !!!!!

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

probably crush verse !!!! harry — his is probably the one character where i dump most of me in.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

rant to me about anything. i enjoy talking. ask me about wips so i can take the little guilt and write more.

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it’s nice to let go and express things and create characters with a better situation than mine.

30. why do you write?

keep myself busy.

boost yourself + tags

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

No kissing. No flashbacks.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

a little something i’m writing inspired by @brickredtoe’s art !!!!

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

ok. well. from 5436 miles

“Or we could always add a trail of stars to one of those moons,” he replies, words dragged out, rolling around in his mouth.

He can see the glint in his eyes even behind his closed lids. Everything about Louis is inked and etched into every fiber of his being.

He would’ve kissed him, words pouring from his mouth into Harry’s, only half his.

He snorts. “And make it seem like the moon has a buttplug? No, thanks.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

both my published fics have circular endings.

5436 miles — Louis always had more stars in his eyes.

these tornadoes are for you — His heart beats in peace.

5a. link to the last fic you read.

sugary sweet by the immensely talented @soldouthaz

6a. link the last work you published

here

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

wheeee

8a. someone that inspires you

taylor. she’s so so wonderful.

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

all of riv, sarah, ris and late’s fics. they’ve been so so comforting. Event Horizon by @mercurial-madhouse

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

@mercurial-madhouse @harryanthus are the only ones coming to mind atm. i’ve been up for too long apologies.

#long post #games #writing asks #q q q

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highsviolets · 3 years

Note

hellooooo it’s your mando anon here swamped w finals (grad school is not easy who would have thought) AND I KNOW IM SUPER LATE BUT

i rly don’t know how i felt about this episode????? i thought pedro did a fantastic job and the whole time the helmet was off i felt so scared and uncomfortable for din so kudos to him, there were so many little details in the way he moved without the helmet that made sense for someone whose face is hidden all the time

and i just - i always thought of din as a rly anxious person who pushes through it to get the job done bc he has to, and this episode (and all the others till now this season) rly solidified that for me

i like the lil redemption arc they gave bill burr

but for some reason the episode felt a bit out of place for me? i think i liked it, all the performances were great obs but idk???? i can’t form a proper opinion?????

anyway my last final in the day the finale comes out and i get to treat myself to it as a celebration and i am not READY i rly rly hope it’s good aaaaaaaa

MANDO ANON HELLO!!!!! i’m so happy to hear from you :’))) i was worried my hot take during liveblogging last week might have scared you off (and then i changed my url and was like shit what if mando anon can’t find me!!!) but here you are!

omg. thank you. we are the same. i’ve rewatched since friday to get a better idea in my head (on friday i was v sick and exhausted and literally straight off the heels of an exam and apparently i held a minority opinion about the episode lmao). but i’m still not sure how i feel about it??

pedro is an unparalleled actor. he did an outstanding job. we were supposed to feel uncomfortable, like we were violating his space, and we did.

i actually have a whole headcanon that din is neurodivergent. i know i’m not the first one to bring this up, but the way he presents himself both with and without the helmet speak really strongly to me (i’m ND). i ranted about it in the tags of a gifset a while back, but basically i think he’s the sort of ND that uses perfectionism as a coping mechanism for his anxiety -- he likes to be in control because then he knows. he knows what to do, he knows what’s expected of him, how to act, what to do. there are clear expectations. this desire for control as a coping mechanism is, i think, throughout the entire show: the way he seeks to control the perceptions of others, his very black-and-white conception of what a mandalorian is. he struggles, sometimes, to understand that gray space; hence his constant refrain of you’re changing the terms of the deal - it’s about honor but ALSO about him maintaining control of the situation. bounty hunting gives him space to be independent while also calling upon help if needed (he’s capable of working with others, clearly). it’s also a hyperfocused & adrenaline-seeking profession, two things that a lot (though not all) ND minds crave. several learning disorders and the like also predispose an individual to generalized and social anxiety, which would explain a lot of his hesitancy with new people. he can hold a conversation with people he knows (Cara, Karga, eventually Omera, Frog Lady), but the first few times he interacts with someone, he’s awkward and nervous and doesn’t know how to act.

anyway. about the episode. i agree. everything was ‘right,’ until it wasn’t. something felt very off about it. the writing didn’t seem as strong; the narrative wasn’t as tight. i was confused on what we were supposed to focus on, and i don’t usually feel like that during this show.

i hope your finals go well, dearest!! sending you all the good vibes. (and yea i’m scared too...maybe because i’m listening to a certain song on my din playlist on repeat and it literally makes me cry lmao but I’M NERVOUS)

#mando anon 🪐#ask #the mandalorian spoilers #did any of that make sense #idek #let's just say it does yea?

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nebulous-frog · 6 years

Text

The Prince and His Helper Ch. 3 (Finale)

Summary: Dan and Phil work together at Disney World. Dan is Prince Eric’s handler, and, well, let’s just say you never see Phil and Prince Eric in the same place at the same time. Dan really likes Phil. He’s been known to get a little jealous at the most idiotic of times, but his heart’s in the right place.

Part One Part Two

Word count: 11,382 (this chapter- 17,212 overall)

Rating: G

Warnings: Some swearing, food mentions

Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, First Date

Author’s Note: It's finally here! Thank you so much for your patience :) Massive thank-you to @imnotinclinedtomaturity, without whom this fic probably wouldn't exist and it certainly wouldn't be this good.

Link to AO3 Fics Masterlist

Dan was really excited.

He was on his way to Phil’s actual house to pick Phil up for an actual date.

Dan was about to go on a date with a Disney prince and real-life angel named Phil. How his heart hadn’t yet fallen out of his ass from the sheer power of emotion, Dan wasn’t sure. Phil was literally Dan’s ideal man. And Phil had agreed to go on a date with him. As excited as Dan was, he was equally filled with anxiety at everything that could go wrong.

Don’t fuck it up, Dan.

On the drive over to Phil’s house, Dan worried that he had somehow gotten the wrong address, or that his phone’s GPS had sent him the wrong way, or that he’d be late to pick Phil up, or that Phil would have already left his house and moved back to England.

It was ridiculous, honestly, but Dan couldn’t help it. He really wanted this date to work out.

Every red light added to his stress. He kept glancing at the little clock in his car, watching the minutes pass. He was supposed to pick Phil up at 7am sharp, but the time ticked closer and closer, and Dan felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere closer to Phil’s house anytime soon. His nerves grew with every second that passed, and he found himself chewing on his lip in anticipation. He had done his best to leave his house with time to spare, but now that he was actually en route, he wasn’t sure he’d made it out the door in time.

He’ll be so disappointed if I’m late. Dan the Fuck-Up, as usual, can’t even be bothered to make it to a date on time. Classic-

“Arrived,” said the mechanical voice on Dan’s phone, interrupting Dan’s spiral of thoughts.

Dan pulled over in front of a small house. It looked like it might have been white, but Dan couldn’t be sure in the faint early morning light.

He anxiously checked the clock again. It was 7:06.

Bloody typical.

Phil had told Dan to text when he arrived, saying it would be easier than knocking on the door and waking up Phil’s housemates and suffering their persistent teasing. Dan didn’t waste any time grabbing his phone from the passenger’s seat and texting Phil. He didn’t want Phil to have to wait any longer than he already had.

Dan: im here

Phil’s response came within seconds, startling Dan.

He responded so fast, he must have been waiting. Dammit, Dan, why are you always late?! He’s probably mad about it.

He took a deep breath and opened the message.

Phil: gr8 gimme 2 secs i’ll b right there

Dan let out the breath he had been holding. Phil wasn’t mad. At least, Dan assumed so, since Phil said he was coming.

Nervously, Dan’s hands began dancing and tapping randomly on the steering wheel of his car.

He’s coming. Oh my god, the date is about to start. Oh my god.

He looked outside the window, anxiously watching the door of the house- but then he looked away to look at the road because watching the door meant actively waiting for Phil to exit his house, which was stressful in itself because it made him think about how much time was passing and how much time Phil had to change his mind and decide not to come on the date after all.

This date has to be perfect. If it’s not perfect, he won’t want to go on another date and you’ll end up alone and sad.

Dan noticed his leg was bouncing erratically from the nerves and forced himself to take a breath.

It’ll be okay. He wanted to go with you this time, so he clearly must like something about you. Just chill out.

Suddenly, the door to the house opened and Phil stepped out, turning and locking it behind him.

The nerves struck Dan again as Phil approached, manifesting in even more intense finger tapping. Phil’s hair was quiffed up off his forehead, and Dan ached to run his fingers through it. He wore a red plaid shirt, well-fitted to his broad shoulders and making his biceps pop. His black skinny jeans had rips in the knees, giving him a bit of an edgy aesthetic that Dan knew didn’t reflect Phil’s true nerdy, kind personality. Dan was intimidated as hell by Phil’s appearance. How could he look so put-together this early in the morning?? It literally was not fair, and Dan felt inadequate in his own ripped black skinny jeans and cherry blossom button-up. His leg started to vibrate again, and he rolled his eyes at himself.

Get it together, Dan.

They made eye contact through the windscreen, and Phil flashed Dan one of his absolutely adorable smiles. Dan’s heartbeat picked up even more at the sight, and he managed a small smile in return.

He’s so perfect.

Phil arrived at the passenger door and pulled the handle. The door didn’t open. Phil shot Dan a confused look through the window. His brows were furrowed, and there was a cute little wrinkle in the middle of his forehead. Phil pulled the handle again, then pouted up at Dan. His bottom lip was sticking out, and his eyebrows were lifting.

What? Why isn’t it ope- Oh.

Dan sheepishly flipped the “unlock” switch on the control panel next to his arm, then motioned for Phil to try again. This time, it worked, and Phil slid into the seat with a cheeky smile.

“And here I thought you were excited for this date,” Phil teased lightheartedly.

Shit! Now he thinks I don’t want this!

“No!” Dan exclaimed loudly, eyes wide and hands reaching out as if to grab Phil’s arm and keep him in the car.

Phil blinked, tilting his head to the side and furrowing his brow. Clearly, Dan had confused him again.

Dan winced at his own unending awkwardness, then backpedaled to try to salvage the conversation that had barely even begun, god, get it together, Dan.

“I am really excited for this date, Phil, you have no idea,” he began, refusing to look at Phil. “I’m just also really nervous-”

Phil’s giggle interrupted the beginnings of a rant that surely would make Dan feel much worse. “I’m kidding! I know you’re excited,” Phil laughed.

The fondness in Phil’s voice caused Dan to cautiously look at Phil out of the corner of his eye.

Sure enough, the fondest of smiles graced Phil’s lips. Dan could feel himself blushing, and he hoped Phil wouldn’t notice (but he was sure the color on his cheeks was glaringly obvious).

Slowly, Phil reached a tentative hand out to one of Dan’s, gently prying his white-knuckled grasp off the steering wheel to intertwine their fingers. Dan stared at their linked hands in wonder. Phil’s hand was a little smaller and a lot paler, but it looked perfect in Dan’s. Dan felt a clammy warmth coming from Phil’s palm, and he relaxed a little when he realized that must mean that Phil wasn’t feeling as confident as he seemed- at least Dan wasn’t alone in his nerves.

“And it’s okay that you’re nervous. I’m nervous, too.” Phil leaned in closer to Dan to whisper conspiratorially, “Plus, you’re really cute when you blush.”

Dan figured that Phil would probably think Dan was “really cute” most of the date, then, because he couldn’t seem to get his cheeks to calm down. If anything, he was pretty sure his cheeks were getting even more red.

Flustered, Dan didn’t know what to say in response, so he just looked back at the road, shaking his head in slight disbelief.

I don’t know how he could think I’m cute when he’s obviously the cutest person in the universe.

Dan swallowed nervously. “We should- uh- get going. The whole point of getting up before daylight was to get there early, right?” Dan said, deciding to ignore Phil’s comment entirely.

Phil shrugged and leaned back in his seat, releasing Dan’s hand so he could drive.

He carefully checked that the road was clear before pulling into the lane.

Although his eyes were trained on the street, Dan could practically feel Phil’s self-satisfied grin. He couldn’t help the blush that just wouldn’t go away, not when he knew Phil was smiling because of him.

That cute bitch. God, I’m a mess.

Phil must have sensed Dan’s current inability to converse like a proper human being, and decided to take pity on him because he took charge of the conversation.

“I’ve always loved Disney.” Phil said thoughtfully. “I was definitely that kid who sat inside all day rewatching The Lion King until my parents couldn’t stand it anymore.” He chuckled at himself, then continued. “I think they eventually broke the tape on purpose.”

Dan pictured it - a tiny Phil sat in front of a shitty ‘90s television, dressed in absolutely horrendous ‘90s fashion, and singing along at the top of his lungs. He was probably dreadfully off-key even then.

He laughed at the mental image, glancing over at Phil as if trying to picture this adult man in the same situation. “That sounds cute as fuck, Phil,” he said through the laugh.

“Does it really?” Phil asked, sounding surprised. ”Seems a bit annoying, if you ask me. My parents certainly thought so,” Phil mused.

Dan shook his head, and snuck another glance at Phil.

“Definitely cute as fuck,” Dan adamantly assured Phil. He was almost offended that anyone could be annoyed with Phil. “And you know what, The Lion King is amazing, so we are gonna sing it right now, on the way to Disney, because we are adults and no one can stop us,” he declared.

Shit, what if he doesn’t want to, though?

Dan quickly side-eyed Phil, saying, “You know, if you want, that is. We don’t have to.”

But Dan’s concern was unnecessary, as Phil was already grinning and pulling out his phone to find the soundtrack.

“You’ve done it now, Howell. The offer has been made and there’s no going back,” Phil said just as “The Circle of Life” began to play from his phone.

“Naaaaaaans lasagna baby itsy baby!” Phil sang along loudly. He was extremely pitchy, but he didn’t seem to care.

“What the fuck, Phil!” Dan yelled through a hyena laugh. “Those so aren’t the lyrics, oh my god!”

Phil ignored him and continued to sing, moving to the background chorus “lyrics”: “It’s a llama, penguin and a llama. It’s a llama, penguin and a llama.”

Dan laughed harder, doing his best to keep his attention primarily focused on the road.

He’s having so much fun with this. I bet it’d make him happy if I sing like that, too.

Dan would do pretty much anything to make Phil smile, so he joined in, singing, “It’s a llama, penguin and a llama” just as loudly and carelessly as Phil.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan could see Phil turn his head to look at him. Dan felt himself absolutely melting under the fond giddiness in Phil’s gaze.

Today’s gonna be such a good day.

They spent a majority of the drive singing along to various Disney songs, sticking to The Lion King at first but expanding to some of their other Disney favorites like Mulan (Dan loved singing his dramatic rendition of “Reflection”) and The Little Mermaid (they couldn’t not. Phil was Prince Eric, after all).

“So, I told you what my favorite Disney movie growing up was, now it’s your turn,” Phil began as the last note of “Under the Sea” faded away. “What did your poor parents have to put up with?”

Dan blushed, his eyes darting over to glance at Phil. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

Phil scoffed. “Impossible. I’m sure it’s perfectly endearing.” Dan shook his head but Phil continued, sounding almost petulant. “Either way, you have to tell me because I already told you mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes, but gave in. Phil could probably make him give into anything. “Okay, fine. My favorite Disney cartoon was Winnie the Pooh. It’s lit-tra-ly why I have such a posh accent.”

“Awwwwww, I love Winnie the Pooh!” Phil cooed. “He wasn’t my favorite, but he was so wonderful.”

Dan glanced over, surprised by Phil’s enthusiastic reaction. Phil was already staring back at him with a small, fond smile.

Just as Dan was about to speak up, maybe change the subject because he still felt a bit embarrassed, Phil spoke again. “You know, I’m not all that surprised your favorite was Winnie the Pooh. You kind of remind me of him, in a way,” he said thoughtfully.

Dan smiled, but couldn’t keep the confusion out of his expression, his head tilting to the side slightly and his eyebrows furrowing.

“I really remind you of Winnie the Pooh?” Dan asked, baffled.

In his peripheral vision, Dan caught a glimpse of Phil. Phil was staring out the window like he was deep in thought, scrunching up his eyebrows slightly.

“Yeah,” Phil answered. “You’ve got this kind of calm chillness about you, but I still know you’ll work hard to get what you want. Like, you work for what you care about but still take it easy every now and then, if that makes sense. And you seem to care a lot about your friends, which is very Pooh.”

There was a thoughtfulness and sincerity to his voice that caught Dan off guard. How does he know that about me already? Does he really pay that much attention? Warmth filled Dan as he considered that maybe Phil liked him as much as he liked Phil.

But then Phil grinned, continuing cheekily, “But I’m pretty sure what you want usually isn’t a pot of honey.”

Dan let out a snort. “Most of that was actually very perceptive of you,” he replied fondly, glancing over at Phil with a soft smile.

Phil shrugged. “No, not really. It’s not that hard to recognize that you’ve never taken a pot of honey to work,” he tried to say casually, but he couldn’t quite keep the amusement from his voice.

Dan groaned and rolled his eyes, but he laughed affectionately. “You’re such a dork!”

“Your mum’s a dork!” Phil retorted in a faux-defensive tone.

“Oi, you leave my mum out of this!” Dan laughed, reaching over to poke Phil’s leg.

The conversation dissolved into laughter and more meaningless, but fun, banter. Dan lost track of the time, his brain in autopilot as he drove them the rest of the way to Disney, and he found himself almost sad when they arrived. The drive had gone so well, what if things got awkward when they were wandering around?

Dan’s worry didn’t last long, however, as Phil continued to talk just as he had in the car. As they walked into the park, they made a quick list of rides they had to go on, and then they were off.

Creepy dolls sang “It’s a Small World” to them (Phil regretted that suggestion; he told Dan he definitely gave himself nightmare material for weeks), they journeyed through the Caribbean with cunning pirates to find Spanish gold, and they took a tour through Neverland. Each ride had a long enough line that they could talk for a short while, but they didn’t feel like they were wasting the day just waiting around.

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was definitely Phil’s favorite. He made Dan go on it three times in a row. And because Phil just looked too adorable when he was excited (his eyes lit up as he smiled and bounced on the balls of his feet, insisting they had to go go go again right now, it’s so fun!), Dan couldn’t say no. Plus, it was kind of a small cart and they were rather tall. Dan wasn’t about to give up the chance to be squished into Phil’s side.

They wandered into Liberty Square for lunch. Dan had timed it perfectly, because it was just before a parade was supposed to begin. He thought Phil might enjoy seeing the characters and hearing the music as a guest rather than an employee for once, since he was always so excited about the magic of Disney. Dan loved it when the magic would excite Phil; Phil’s inner child would shine through, lighting up his face and making him giggle in wonder.

“We have to go to Sleepy Hollow,” Dan insisted as he pointed to the restaurant with one hand, excitedly tapping Phil’s arm with his other. “They have the best damn chicken and waffles you will ever have in your life, and there’s a little picnic area so we can watch the parade go by.”

“I’m more of a pancakes man, to be honest,” Phil said dubiously. “But I’ll trust you.” He flashed Dan a wide smile.

“These are so much more than a breakfast food, Phil, they are art. They make sandwiches out of the waffle and put this spicy chicken inside and-” Dan moaned theatrically- “I can’t explain it, it’s just so good.”

“Okay, okay, lead the way!” Phil conceded, and gestured for Dan to go ahead of him. Dan reached behind him and pulled Phil after him by the forearm as he hurriedly made his way into the restaurant.

Phil let Dan pick his waffle for him, and then took out his wallet to pay.

“Hey, no, put that away!” Dan insisted, pushing Phil’s arm down. “I asked you out, so I’m paying.”

“But-” Phil started, his hand still reaching into his wallet.

“Nope.” Dan lightly hip-checked Phil out of the way and handed his card over to the cashier. “I’ve got this, okay?” He turned to look at Phil again to see him rolling his eyes, which worried him until he noticed Phil’s small smile.

“You’re ridiculous, but okay.” Phil gave Dan’s shoulder a mini shove to retaliate for the hip-check.

A few minutes later, they retrieved the waffles and sat down at a table near the edge of the patio so they could see the parade when it came.

“Are you ready for your life to change dramatically?” Dan asked seriously as they each picked up their waffle sandwiches.

“Well, now I’m a little scared. That’s a lot of pressure riding on this one sandwich,” Phil teased. He eyed the sandwich skeptically, eyes narrowed in distrust.

“It’s deserved, believe me,” Dan said. “Come on, then. I’m waiting for your reaction.” Dan leaned in closer and stared at Phil eagerly, holding his breath.

Phil eyed his sandwich with a curious expression - part wary and part excited - before he leaned in, opened his mouth wide, and took a big bite.

He seemed to consider for a moment, and then his eyes widened comically. He looked at Dan with pure wonder on his face. His lips were tilting up into a smile, even though his mouth was full of food.

“I know,” Dan said, nodding seriously.

“How - it’s - oh my god,” Phil groaned around his bite of food.

“I know,” Dan laughed. He leaned back in his seat, relieved at Phil’s reaction. “You like it, then?”

Phil nodded vigorously, already going in for another bite.

Dan laughed again, then took a bite of his own sandwich and moaned at the flavor.

“It’s really spicy but it’s so good,” Phil managed when he finally swallowed. He chugged a few gulps of water, then dove back into the sandwich.

Dan felt a strange sense of pride well up in him. Phil had trusted Dan’s suggestion and it paid off brilliantly.

Just then, the front of the parade passed by their seating area. The magic of seeing the characters wasn’t as strong for Dan or Phil now that they’ve done parades and meet and greets before, but that didn’t stop them from enjoying it. Mickey Mouse waved at them, and Phil squealed in delight.

“Hi, Mickey!” he called excitedly, bouncing in his seat a bit and waving his arm wildly.

He’s so precious, oh my god.

“Mickey Mouse waved at me, Dan! I feel special,” Phil exclaimed, looking at Dan with the gleeful excitement of a child.

“You are,” Dan said softly. His body was frozen, his hands half-raised to his mouth with the last few bites of his waffle sandwich, but his eyes wandered Phil’s face, taking in the joy and giddiness. Phil’s happiness was infectious, and Dan found himself smiling affectionately at this excitable man who had somehow agreed to go on a date with Dan, of all people.

Phil’s face flushed, and he broke eye contact for a moment to look down at his food tray, then cautiously looked back up at Dan through his lashes. Dan felt a fresh surge of affection as he saw how bashful Phil got at the compliment.

They stared at each other silently for a moment, faces turning redder by the second, until Dan cleared his throat.

“So, uh, you liked the waffle, then?” He pointed at the sticky mess left on the tray where Phil’s sandwich used to be.

Phil nodded. “Life-changing, as advertised. Thanks for the suggestion.”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Dan replied. He cleared his throat again. “So, after the parade crowd clears out a bit, do you wanna go to the Haunted Mansion?”

“Definitely,” Phil agreed.

It didn’t take long for the crowd to disperse once the parade ended, and then Dan and Phil were off to find the Haunted Mansion.

On the way, they encountered a traffic jam where some families were apparently meeting a character. A huge crowd of people stood in the way, blocking the whole path. Dan felt a twinge of sympathy for the handler, knowing how hard it could be to keep a crowd under control, especially in walkways. As a handler, he hated when people tried to force their way through, but he was a man on a mission. He’d just try not to be too aggressive.

“I’m gonna go for it,” Dan decided, already sending mental apologies to the handler. “Stay close?”

Phil nodded, and Dan pushed himself into the small gaps between people with Phil on his heels.

Except Phil wasn’t quite as on-his-heels as he expected. Dan had moved a little too fast for Phil to keep up in such a cramped space. A hand grasped onto Dan’s wrist, and he jumped, glancing back quickly to see Phil’s arm outstretched.

Phil’s basically holding my hand. It’s fine, nothing to worry about. Totally cool over here. It’s all good.

They finally broke free of the crowd and could stand next to each other again. Dan expected Phil to drop his wrist now that they had room to maneuver, but he didn’t. Instead, Phil’s hand slid down to lace their fingers together.

Dan’s heart beat faster, and he stared down at their clasped hands. Be cool, Dan, he’s just holding your hand.

“Is this okay?” Phil asked tentatively.

Dan’s head snapped up to make eye contact. Phil was blushing and looked like he was making a concerted effort not to hide his face.

“Hm? The hands? Yes, that’s fine. It’s - it’s great. Perfect, really.” Dan fumbled, flustered.

I said be cool, that is not being cool.

Phil’s free hand rose up to cover his mouth slightly, trying to hide a giggle, but the crows feet around his eyes gave him away.

“Nooooo, don’t laugh at me!” Dan whined.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said through his laughter. “You’re just too adorable.”

Dan’s cheeks were definitely bright red by now. “Shut up,” he grumbled. He stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.

“Awwww,” Phil cooed. “You’re really not making me think you’re less adorable, if that was the goal.”

Dan let out an exaggerated huff and walked slightly ahead of Phil - just far enough ahead to keep up his dramatic charade, but close enough that they could still hold hands.

They arrived at the Haunted Mansion line and worked their way to the front. Along the way, Dan and Phil took turns reading out all of the silly tombstones of the dead residents. Every so often, Phil would laugh at one of the funny ways of dying and say, “That’s you.”

On the ride itself, Dan cozied up to Phil as much as he dare. The seats were much bigger than Big Thunder Railroad and he - unfortunately - didn’t have to squish into Phil’s side in order to fit. He didn’t want to drape himself all over Phil, but he wanted to be as close as was reasonably possible, so he settled for sitting close enough that their sides touched from shoulder to knee.

Is this too much? Is he uncomfortable? Oh, god, this was a mistake, wasn’t it.

But then Phil’s foot bumped Dan’s, nudging it gently before hooking his ankle around Dan’s.

Dan looked at Phil, happy to know that apparently Phil wanted to be close just as much as Dan, but Phil was steadfastly observing the other side of their cart. Dan rolled his eyes fondly and relaxed into the chair.

Their cart turned a corner, and the ride properly began.

Some of the spooks startled Phil throughout the ride, and Dan laughed at him for it.

“Really, Phil? How didn’t you expect that to pop up?” Dan would tease, squeezing Phil’s hand briefly.

“Shhhh, I just wasn’t paying enough attention!” Phil would reply, squeezing right back.

About halfway through the ride, the cart spun around and began descending a sharp hill backwards. Gravity squished Dan and Phil to the middle of the seat, right up against each other.

Dan breathed in sharply as their bodies pressed together even more than they already had been, and he quickly looked over at Phil’s face. Phil was already looking at him, blushing heavily.

“Hi,” Phil whispered shyly. He flexed his fingers around Dan’s before squeezing gently.

Equally shyly, Dan squeezed Phil’s hand and whispered, “Hi.”

When the cart straightened out, neither of them made any effort to readjust to sit farther away from the other. Dan felt his heart soar when he realized that meant Phil wanted to be close to him, too.

Not long after, the ride came to an end. Phil let go of Dan’s hand to climb out of the cart, then reached back to offer his hand as a support as Dan followed.

“How gentlemanly,” Dan commented with a slight quirk of his lips. Inside, he was gushing about how sweet Phil was and how much he loved the feeling of the soft skin of Phil’s hand against his own. He worried Phil would let go of his hand as soon as he got off the ride, but Phil only adjusted his grip to interlock their fingers again. He brushed his thumb over Dan’s knuckles, and butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach.

As they left the Haunted Mansion set, they debated where to go next.

Phil’s vote was the Winnie the Pooh ride.

“Come on, it’s such a cute one! Besides, you said you loved Pooh!” Phil eagerly suggested.

Dan laughed and let Phil pull him across the park to the ride.

He wants to make me happy so much. I’m supposed to be making sure we go on rides he likes but he’s over here pushing me to do something for personal nostalgia’s sake. He’s so sweet.

Fortunately, the line wasn’t too long, so they passed through the interactive buttons and animatronics until they made it to the carts.

They had to drop their hands to climb into the carts, much to Dan’s annoyance, but he relaxed when Phil sat down probably closer than was strictly necessary.

Phil leaned in to whisper in Dan’s ear, “Will you hold my hand if I get scared?”

Dan let out a loud laugh, turning his head to look at Phil.

“It’s just Winnie the Pooh, so I doubt that’ll be a problem.” His hand found Phil’s anyway as the ride began to move, already desperate for the comforting warmth and the accompanying rush of giddy excitement that Dan was beginning to associate with holding Phil’s hand. Dan felt a grin breaking out on his face, playing it off as excitement for Winnie the Pooh. He looked around at the walls, quickly reading the giant storybook page that set up the story for the ride.

Just before they entered the ride, Dan looked back at Phil with a soft smile and quietly admitted, “I like holding your hand, even if you aren’t scared.”

Phil bit his lip around a giddy smile, and Dan’s heart just about melted at the sight.

“Oi, you’ll miss the ride if you keep looking at me,” Phil complained, nudging Dan’s elbow with his own.

“Mmm, but I really like looking at you. Especially when I get you to blush like that,” Dan teased, nudging Phil’s shoulder playfully. He relented, though, deciding to enjoy the ride as Phil insisted.

It wasn’t a particularly thrilling ride, by any means. There were a few jerky turns and wobbles, but no dips or spins, and the pace was fairly slow. They both giggled as the ride bounced up and down, mimicking Tigger’s bouncing.

Dan loved it anyway, partly because of the nostalgia of Winnie the Pooh and partly because of how into it Phil was. He never was actually scared, but he pretended to be when they came to the section of Heffalumps and Woozles, squeezing Dan’s hand harder and bringing his other arm to hug Dan’s. Phil’s head came to rest on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan went perfectly still.

Oh my god. He’s so precious. Don’t move, Dan, or he’ll move.

Luckily, it seemed that Phil had no intention of moving away from Dan for the rest of the ride. He stayed snuggled up to Dan’s arm for the last few minutes of the story, then reluctantly detached himself as their cart came to the end.

“That was a great idea, Phil. I’m glad you dragged me over here,” Dan said happily as they exited the track area. He couldn’t get the dopey smile off his face.

Phil gasped, ignoring Dan entirely in favor of pointing to the alcove next to the ride and tugging on their still-clasped hands.

“Look! Tigger and Pooh are there for photos!” He turned to Dan, expression extremely serious. “We have to go get pictures with them.”

Dan was on the verge of saying no. They most likely knew whoever it was in the costumes, so some of the magic was already missing from the experience. Besides, it would definitely be weird if two awkwardly tall adult men got in line to meet Winnie the Pooh.

But Phil looked so excited and happy, Dan couldn’t find it in himself to decline. Instead, he sighed in mock exasperation and gestured for Phil to lead the way.

Phil’s face lit up even more, making Dan smile and shake his head fondly.

He’s such a dork. I love that he’s so willing to let himself be a kid at Disney. He really makes the magic come to life.

The line to meet Pooh and Tigger was significantly longer than the line for the ride had been, so they occupied their time by sharing anecdotes about their childhood experiences. Phil had several stories about the crazy things he did or believed as a kid, like how he thought the “D” in the Disney logo was actually a “G” or how crowds cheering at football matches scared him to the point of tears.

(Dan, of course, found this very endearing and jokingly promised he would never cheer at a football match in front of Phil.)

In exchange, Dan told Phil a few stories about some of his more embarrassing failures and awkward moments growing up, like how he got fired from his last job for selling an axe to a twelve-year-old.

Finally, they made it to the front of the line and got to meet Tigger and Pooh. They each got to hug both characters, much to Phil’s delight. Before they took the picture, they also got to “talk” with the animals. Neither character could actually say anything, but Tigger had some very articulate gestures.

He looked at Dan, then pointed back and forth between Dan and Phil, who was having an animated conversation with Pooh and completely unaware of the attention. Dan wasn’t entirely sure, but he thought maybe Tigger had caught on to their affection. Sure enough, Tigger placed both hands over his heart and tilted his head.

Blushing, Dan laughed. “Yeah, we’re here on a date,” he confirmed in a low voice, trying not to attract Phil’s attention away from where he talked with Pooh. It wasn’t that the date was a secret, Dan just felt a little self-conscious that he was talking to one of his childhood idols - and probably coworkers, honestly - about a date.

Tigger gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up - or at least the closest thing he could get to a thumbs up in his costume. He took Dan’s hand to guide him to Phil, made them hold hands, then moved to stand on the other side of Phil. Pooh stood next to Dan, and they were ready for pictures.

Dan and Phil both blushed profusely at Tigger’s antics, even though they’d already been holding hands all day. It was just a different experience when someone else noticed their feelings and nudged them together, showing Dan that maybe they did work well together. Plus, Dan realized that he was about to actually take a picture while holding hands with Phil, which would immortalize this perfect moment.

They took a few nice pictures with Pooh and Tigger, then bade them goodbye and left the meeting spot, still hand-in-hand.

“That was amazing! Tigger saw right through us, didn’t he?” Phil chuckled.

“He definitely did,” Dan agreed. He swung their clasped hands around slightly, enjoying the sensation of the contact. Casually, he added, “I wonder if it’s anybody we know today… We’ll definitely be hearing about this at work later.”

“Shhhh!” Phil clapped a hand over Dan’s mouth. “That’s Tigger, not somebody we know!” he scolded, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

Dan rolled his eyes and smiled under Phil’s hand. “Of course, how could I ever forget,” he deadpanned, though it came out warbled and muffled.

Phil narrowed his eyes at Dan suspiciously, then nodded once. “I don’t know what you said, but I’ll take it as an apology. No more ruining the magic, right?”

Dan sighed dramatically, then nodded.

Letting out a satisfied hum, Phil dropped his hand from Dan’s mouth and looking around at their surroundings. His eyes landed on the gift shop for Winnie the Pooh, and he immediately started pulling Dan towards it. “I just had the best idea!”

“I’m not sure I like where you’re going with this, love, the look on your face screams mischief,” Dan said warily.

Did I just call him “love”? Oh shit, it is definitely too soon for pet names like that. Shit, that was too much.

But Phil didn’t comment on it. If anything, his smile got wider as he mercilessly tugged Dan along.

“Shh, trust me! This will be amazing, I promise.” Phil sounded particularly excited about this idea of his.

When they entered the shop, Phil made straight for the back wall. He let go of Dan’s hand to pick up two Mickey Mouse ear hats, one Tigger and one Pooh.

“I’m buying these and we’ll match for the rest of the day,” Phil declared adamantly, sounding like he’d already made up his mind.

Dan blinked in shock, glancing quickly from Phil to the hats and back again. “Um, what? Phil, those are, like, $30 each. I can’t let you get them for both of us on a date I asked you to, that would be ungentlemanly!” he exclaimed.

Phil giggled. “You think I care about that? You’ve already been such a gentleman so far. You bought lunch and everything! Besides, I want to get them. It was my idea, anyway, it’s only right I pay for them. Plus, you’re forgetting that we get a cast member discount, silly. Come on, please?” Phil stuck out his bottom lip and opened his eyes wider in a puppy pout.

Dan hesitated, momentarily distracted by how endearing that expression was, before contemplating the issue at hand. He didn’t want to push it too much and make it seem like he thought Phil couldn’t afford the hats or something, but he also didn’t want to make Phil pay for them.

Although, he’s right - it was his idea. Surely he wouldn’t have suggested it if he wasn’t willing and expecting to pay for them…

“Alright, fine,” Dan relented. “You can buy us the hats, but I’m buying dinner.”

“You already paid for lunch, though!” Phil exclaimed with a tone. “It’s really not necessary-”

“But I want to treat you,” Dan mumbled sheepishly, tugging gently on Phil’s hand. He looked up at Phil through his lashes as he continued, “I want you to feel special today, you know? This should all be about you.”

Dan’s free hand reached up and brushed some of Phil’s drooping quiff off his forehead, eventually resting his hand on Phil’s cheek.

Phil nuzzled into Dan’s hand slightly, looking a little conflicted for a moment.

“Oh, alright then, if you insist. You can pay for dinner later. But right now, I’m going to get these hats and make everyone jealous of our relationship,” Phil announced with a flare.

Relationship? Does that mean he wants to be boyfriends? Is it too early for that? I mean… I think I want that, but does he? I know we’re still only on the first date, but this feels so natural that it would just make sense to make it official, wouldn’t it?

Dan decided to tuck the questions away for now, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat as he followed closely behind Phil to the registers.

Phil quickly paid and picked up the hats from the counter, turning to face Dan.

“Alright, then, let’s see it on you. May I?” Phil asked, gesturing towards Dan’s head with the Pooh hat and smiling.

My hair is going to hate this…

Dan leaned forward in answer, presenting his head for Phil. Phil slowly fixed the hat over Dan’s head, placing the chin strap under his chin to secure it in place. He reached up and messed with his hair, carefully pulling out a few strands from under the hat. Usually, Dan wouldn’t let anyone fix his hair for him because he alone knew how to make it look good, but he didn’t complain as Phil fluffed the exposed ends. Somehow, he felt like he could trust Phil to do it right. After a lingering moment, Phil pulled his hands away, and Dan tilted his head back up so Phil could inspect the results.

He inhaled sharply and stared at Dan with an unreadable expression.

“What? Does it look weird?” Dan asked, suddenly nervous. He took out his phone to use the camera as a mirror.

It actually wasn’t too bad; his hair was definitely more of a mess now, but he actually looked fairly good with the hat.

Dan looked back up to see Phil still staring at him, now with a beaming smile.

Dan blushed at the attention, and Phil cooed.

“I knew this would be a good idea. You look fantastic,” Phil assured Dan, reaching up a hand again and gently brushing his fingers through the visible floof of hair poking out from under the hat.

“Thank you,” Dan mumbled, feeling the blush continue to burn on his cheeks.

Phil smiled brightly at him, then dropped his hand from Dan’s hair.

“My turn!” Phil thrust the Tigger hat towards Dan’s hand, then tilted his head down so Dan could put the hat on him.

Dan stretched the elastic over Phil’s chin and pushed the hat back onto Phil’s head. He brushed his fingers through Phil’s quiff to make sure his hair wouldn’t look weird, marvelling at the softness for a moment, then removed his hands.

Phil’s head tilted back up, and he was grinning, and his face was so close to Dan’s that, for a moment, Dan’s brain short-circuited.

“Thank you,” Phil giggled.

The giggle was enough to pull Dan’s brain back together in a flurry of thoughts.

Great, my cheeks are going to be permanently pink around Phil, apparently. It doesn’t help that he looks unfairly pretty in that Tigger hat with his stupid gorgeous quiff poking out just a little and he looks so excited and happy and wait what did he say again? Was I supposed to respond? Oh yeah -

“You’re welcome,” Dan awkwardly said a few beats too late.

Phil giggled again, not seeming to care about Dan’s awkwardness, then reached into his pocket for his phone.

“Let’s take a selfie, immortalize the moment,” Phil suggested.

Oh my god, yes. We are too cute, and I need a picture of Phil looking like this so I can look back on this moment and absolutely melt. He looks so happy.

“I’ll take it, if you want. I’ve mastered the perfect selfie angle with my noodle arms,” Dan joked, stepping closer to Phil.

Dan expected Phil to just stand next to him, but apparently Phil was in the mood to murder Dan because he stood closer than he really had to for the picture and then reached out an arm to wrap it around Dan’s waist.

Dan’s selfie arm faltered briefly at the sensation of Phil’s warm arm on his body. He barely bit back a surprised squeak, since he knew that would make Phil think he was uncomfortable and he’d move his arm. That was the last thing Dan wanted. Phil’s half-embrace felt so strong and comforting and safe, Dan wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to survive when Phil eventually moved.

“Ready?” Dan asked, voice a little shaky.

“Yee!” Phil replied.

Dan snapped a few photos, changing the angle slightly to try to capture the perfect shot. Normally, for a picture like this, he would give a half-smile, or maybe a smirk, but right now? There was no way he could keep the ridiculous grin from his face.

And then Phil turned his head and kissed Dan right on the cheek as Dan snapped a picture. Dan’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock.

Did he just - he’s still - oh my god. Oh my GOD. Okay, okay, okay, shhhhh, calm down before he gets weird about it, come on, get it together, Dan.

A flaming red blush spread across Dan’s cheeks and his mouth spread in a face-splitting grin for the last few pictures Dan took. Butterflies zoomed around his stomach like they were trying to escape, and a few seemed to find their way out as giggles. A few of the giggles erupted from Dan’s throat, and he covered his mouth with his hand to prevent any more from escaping

Dan wasn’t sure what to say as Phil pulled away from his cheek. He wasn’t even sure where to look. He could still feel Phil’s strong arm around his waist, and it made thinking difficult. His thoughts swirled wildly as he tried to figure out what to do. Should he look at Phil and let him see how Dan was still reeling? Should he run away? Should he act like nothing happened and look at the pictures? And would he ever stop grinning like a madman?

He opted for sending Phil a shy, happy glance, then pretending like nothing had happened (which was a little hard to do around his grin, but he tried to ignore that detail). He cleared his throat and looked at his phone, opening the photos app and scrolling through the selfies he took.

“There’s probably at least one good one in here,” Dan said to distract himself. He looked through the pictures, quickly skimming past the ones where Phil was kissing him to find the first photos.

“Wait - Phil! You’re not even looking at the phone in any of these!” Dan exclaimed, looking over at his date in mock irritation.

Phil was already looking at him with a fond smile. “Of course I’m not looking at the phone. How could I, when you’re here in front of me?” he asked softly. His face was open and honest, and the fond smile twitched until it grew into a full grin.

Dan’s cheeks darkened again. He opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a sort of strangled, “Oh.”

Phil giggled, his tongue poking through his teeth.

How does he keep getting more and more adorable, oh my god. This man will be the death of me.

Phil’s arm dropped from around Dan’s waist, much to Dan’s disappointment.

“Come on! We’ve got more rides to go on!” Phil reminded him gleefully.

He quickly re-discovered Dan’s hand (making butterflies zoom around in his stomach again) and began pulling him out of the shop again, already going on about how he wanted to go on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad again.

Dan shook his head fondly, but followed Phil anyway.

A few hours later, they had ridden all Phil’s favorites another time as well as the Winnie the Pooh ride, this time with their Pooh and Tigger ear hats, and they realized they were both starving.

They meandered over to Pinocchio’s Village Haus for a quick dinner (Phil got chicken nuggets, which Dan found endearing as hell), and then headed back out for a few more roller coasters before they had to find a spot for the fireworks.

“Phil, I know you love the roller coasters, but we really have to go pick our place to watch the fireworks!” Dan laughed, tugging Phil’s arm to get him to stay out of the line for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. “Besides, we’ve already been on this one three times. Haven’t you had enough?”

“You can never have too many pirates, Pooh!” Phil exclaimed excitedly. He tugged right back on Dan’s arm in a desperate attempt to return to the Pirates ride.

Dan rolled his eyes in exasperation. “But the whole point of coming here was to show you the fireworks!” He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout and batted his eyes at Phil. “Pwease, Phiw?”

“Awwww, now that’s just cheating,” Phil whined. He pouted in return, but Dan wasn’t having it.

Dan jutted his bottom lip out even further, and Phil cracked.

“Oh, alright then,” Phil sighed. “Lead the way.”

A smug grin made its way onto Dan’s lips. “That’s what I thought. Follow me, my liege,” Dan said with a mock bow. He took a great deal of joy in the soft giggle he heard Phil make.

When Phil had agreed to the date, Dan had immediately made sure to reserve them a spot in front of Cinderella’s Castle, where the view would be best. They headed to that area now, waiting for an attendant to allow them into the reserved section directly in front of the castle.

Even though it was still light out, there was a long line of people waiting to get into the reserved area, so Dan and Phil took their place at the back and hunkered down to wait.

“So, where do the fireworks come from, again? Like, which way should I be looking?” Phil asked, inspecting the area around them as if he expected a firework to go off any moment.

“There’s a whole song and show and everything that’ll be around the Castle,” Dan told him.

Phil nodded absentmindedly, still looking around the park.

Dan took the quiet moment to appreciate the memories of the day. He thought about how excited Phil had been that morning, and how happy Phil had been when he learned that Dan loved Winnie the Pooh, and how insistent Phil was about the Winnie the Pooh-themed hats they were both still wearing. Dan thought about how good and right the whole day had felt, with the never-ending conversation and playful flirting and hand-holding. God, the handholding. He couldn’t get enough of the feeling of his hand gently clutched by Phil’s. Sometimes, Phil would run his thumb over Dan’s knuckles, sending all coherent thought flying desperately from his brain and attracting all the blood to his cheeks, making it painfully obvious how much he adored Phil’s actions.

As they waited for the fireworks, Dan tentatively moved his own thumb over Phil’s hand, wondering if Phil would have a similar reaction to Dan. The blinding smile Phil sent Dan told him that yes, Phil liked that just as much as Dan.

Phil took a small step in so their sides were entirely pressed up against each other, then leaned in to be even closer.

“Thank you,” Phil whispered with a light smile. “Today’s been great.”

Dan beamed. The whole goal of the day had been to make Phil as happy as possible. He was proud to say that he firmly believed he had accomplished that goal, and they hadn’t even seen the fireworks yet.

“But you haven’t seen the fireworks yet. That was supposed to be the great part of the day,” Dan reminded him.

Phil laughed gently, reaching up his free hand to carefully cup Dan’s cheek. Dan’s heartbeat quickened as he subconsciously leaned into the touch.

“Oh, Dan,” Phil sighed happily. “The great part was spending time with you, no matter what we did.”

Phil’s thumb caressed Dan’s cheek, and Dan’s brain shorted out.

He- I- Great? My face? His hand? My god.

Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, all Dan could think to say was a breathy, “Oh.”

Phil’s responding laugh brushed delicately against Dan’s face.

“Speechless, Howell? That’s surprising,” he teased. “I like seeing you all flustered. I’ll have to keep making it happen.” He winked at Dan in his special Phil way, where it’s more of a blink than a wink, then let go of Dan entirely and turned towards the line, which had finally moved forward to allow people into the reserved section.

Dan blinked in surprise.

What just happened? I didn’t even notice the line move. What is this boy doing to me?

He shook himself slightly, quickly catching up to Phil and re-clasping their hands.

Should I address what just happened? What would I even say? I’m not sure I know what happened, anyway.

Dan chanced a glance at Phil and saw a smirk playing at his lips.

That’s a dangerous smirk. He looks mischievous - he’s way too pleased with himself. It’s probably best if I just move on, before I make more of a fool of myself.

“Phil!” he began, louder than he expected. He winced internally, begging himself to be less awkward. Clearing his throat, he tried again, lowering his voice to a normal volume this time. “So, are you ready to see the most beautiful, captivating thing you will ever see?”

A full smirk formed on Phil’s face.

“I’ve already seen him. He’s actually somehow letting me hold his hand,” he said teasingly, swinging their hands pointedly.

Dan groaned, looking towards the heavens as if asking for God to come save him from this dork, but he couldn’t disguise his smile, nor his accompanying blush. “Oh, that was cheesy as hell. I walked right into it, too, didn’t I?” He looked back at Phil with a shake of his head.

“You certainly did.” Phil grinned, bumping Dan’s shoulder with his own. “And now you’re all blushy again, how adorable!”

“You’re a menace. A danger to society. Too pure for this world,” Dan deadpanned.

Phil snorted. “One of these things is not like the other.”

In a sing-song voice, Dan replied, “But all of them describe you perfectly.”

Phil bumped Dan’s shoulder again, harder this time. “Your mum’s a description.”

“What?!” Dan shrieked out in a hyena laugh. “That- that doesn’t even make sense!”

“Your mum doesn’t even-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Dan warned teasingly. “Leave my poor mum alone.” To make sure Phil didn’t take him too seriously, Dan squeezed his hand lightly. If his heart raced a little faster when Phil squeezed back, well, no one had to know.

“So, where are we going to watch the fireworks from?” Phil asked.

Dan hummed in thought, looking around the open area for a good spot. “How about right there?” He pointed to a place near the front of the section, but far enough back that they wouldn’t block everyone’s line of sight with their tallness.

“Perfect,” Phil agreed with a content nod.

Phil followed Dan to their spot. Once they got there, Dan hugged Phil’s arm with his own free arm and rested his head on Phil’s shoulder.

Dan looked up at Phil from his shoulder. “Is this okay?” Dan asked. He felt Phil nod.

“It’s perfect,” came Phil’s fond reply. Phil squeezed Dan’s hand once, then brushed his thumb over Dan’s knuckles again.

If he hadn’t been leaning on Phil already, Dan was sure he would’ve fallen over completely in a swoon. Phil somehow knew exactly what to do to make Dan unbelievably happy, and Dan was living for it.

For a few minutes, they stood in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence and the feeling of their bodies pressed together as they waited for the fireworks.

The lights around the crowd went out, and Cinderella’s Castle lit up.

“Is it starting?” Phil asked.

Dan resisted the urge to sass Phil, because honestly, what else could be happening? Disney shut down the park with everyone still in it?

Instead, he hummed quietly in affirmation and snuggled closer into Phil’s shoulder.

Music began, and the crowd was entranced. Oohs and Ahhs rang out in the plaza with every new animation and special effect. The lights and the music, combined with the magical experience that is spending a day at Disney World, always delivered a spectacular performance.

But Dan wasn’t really paying attention.

Dan was looking at Phil. Well, some would call it staring, but Dan couldn’t bring himself to care.

Phil’s expression was so relaxed, so happy. Every new piece to the show had him gasping in delight, a childlike wonder in his eyes. Dan couldn’t get enough of it.

And then Phil seemed to notice that Dan wasn’t watching the fireworks. He turned his head slightly, looking at Dan, who was still carefully resting on his shoulder despite the Pooh ears.

Normally, Dan would’ve been embarrassed to be caught staring, but all he could feel was an overwhelming affection for the man who had spent the whole day trying to make sure Dan had a good time, even though Dan was meant to be treating Phil.

A fond smile grew on Phil’s face as he and Dan got lost in each other’s gaze.

“Hi,” Phil whispered just loud enough to be heard over the fireworks and music. His free hand moved up and carded through Dan’s exposed fringe slowly, then came to rest on his cheek. His thumb delicately traced Dan’s cheekbone.

If he could, Dan would have purred at the gentle motion of Phil’s thumb. Instead, he sighed through his nose and leaned into the touch with a smile. He trailed his fingers along Phil’s forearm, appreciating how Phil shivered at the sensation. “Hi.”

Phil’s eyes quickly flickered over Dan’s face, and his smile grew. “You’re pretty,” he stated simply, as if it were just a fact that the whole world should know.

Dan turned to hide his face in Phil’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“You can’t just say things like that,” he whined. “They do weird things to me and make me feel all soft.”

Phil’s hand moved from caressing Dan’s face to rest comfortingly on Dan’s waist. “But it’s true! And I love seeing you blush when I tell you so.” Phil wiggled his elbow. “Come on, let me see your pretty face.”

Grumbling false complaints, Dan slowly lifted his head to look Phil in the eye.

“There it is,” Phil whispered adoringly. He shifted his hand up from Dan’s waist to gently cup his face, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb.

Dan felt his blush intensify and looked away for a moment to try to regain his composure. When he finally felt ready to look at Phil again, he found that Phil’s gaze moving slowly over his face, taking in every detail.

It was a whole new feeling. Dan had realized throughout the day that, yes, Phil did actually kind of like him, but the way Phil looked at him now was so much more - more even than just moments before. This was an intense gaze, which intimidated Dan a little, but mostly he was just overwhelmed with happiness at the brilliant realization that Phil liked him. Dan felt wanted in a way that stretched beyond just the physical, and he was overcome with emotion.

His eyes could no longer stay still on Phil’s. They trailed over his features, just as Phil’s were doing to him, and took in the sharp cheekbones, the beaked nose, the freckles and spots, the way his pink lips contrasted his pale skin. And then all he could look at were Phil’s lips. Their soft curve into Phil’s small half-smile, the way they pouted out slightly. They looked soft. Kissable.

Are they as soft as they look? Would he kiss me if I asked?

Dan somehow managed to pull his eyes up from Phil’s mouth to see his eyes instead. He wanted to know what Phil was thinking and know if he had any chance.

Phil was still looking at Dan’s face, but it seemed his sights were stuck on Dan’s mouth. Dan felt a shiver course through him when he thought of what Phil might be thinking. His shiver seemed to jolt Phil out of his thoughts, as his eyes snapped up to meet Dan’s.

They stood still. Dan’s thoughts were caught in a constant loop of kiss me, kiss me, kiss me as he tried to work up the courage to ask, but he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to say the words.

Come on, just ask! You want to, and he seems like he wants to, and you just have to go for it. Just say it. He won’t say no. But what if he does? What if I’ve been reading the whole situation wrong?

As Dan’s internal crisis continued, Phil took a small step forward, eliminating the last traces of space between their bodies. Phil’s lips remained ever so slightly apart, like he wasn’t sure he had Dan’s permission.

Emboldened by Phil’s move, Dan made a decision. Slowly, his eyelids fluttered closed, and he leaned in the smallest bit so their lips brushed.

Phil’s hand on Dan’s cheek slid back into his hair, just below the edge of the Pooh hat, and brushed his fingers through the curls. Dan sighed into the kiss, and Phil’s lips moved softly against Dan’s.

It was a little tentative, and their noses bumped together awkwardly at first, but it felt right. They kept it slow and purposeful, just exploring the feeling of each other. Dan wasn’t sure he’d ever had such a perfect first kiss, and he drowned in the sensation.

They pulled apart not too long after the kiss began. Bashful smiles grew on their faces as their eyes opened, and Dan bit his lip in an attempt to keep from grinning too much. Phil’s tongue poked between his teeth a little, and Dan’s heart melted.

Phil’s fingers disentangled from Dan’s, and Dan panicked.

He doesn’t want to hold my hand anymore? What did I do wrong? Did he hate the kiss? But then why did he smile? What no-

Dan’s thoughts were cut off by the feeling of Phil’s now-free arm wrapping around Dan’s shoulder and pulling him in to cuddle into Phil’s side. Phil’s other hand found Dan’s again, and he clasped them in front of their bodies.

Oh. Dan giggled. That’s better, then.

He rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, careful to tip his head far enough backwards that he wouldn’t dig his Pooh ears into Phil’s neck.

This is the best first date ever.

They had missed most of the fireworks just staring at each other and kissing, but they caught the grand finale. Phil periodically made small noises of wonder and amazement that Dan wished he could bottle up and keep forever.

Too soon, the fireworks ended. Phil turned to Dan with a tired, but happy, smile, which Dan returned.

They made their way back through the crowd and to the parking lot, still hand-in-hand. It was a bit of a long walk, given the number of people trying to leave and the crazy distance from the park to the parking lot, but they were content to walk it in silence. The silence was comfortable, like a warm hug or a soft kiss. Dan wished the moment never had to end.

They eventually made it to Dan’s car. Dan held the door open for Phil and shut it behind him, then went to open his own door and sit down behind the wheel.

Phil let out a deep, happy sigh. “That was really fun.”

“Yeah, I had a really good time,” Dan sighed happily as he started the car. He didn’t move the car yet, though. Instead, he sat back in his seat and looked over at Phil with a small smile.

Phil’s hand crept forward and caught Dan’s over the middle console, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry you missed some of the fireworks, though. That was kind of the whole reason we came,” Dan said plainly, like he felt like it had to be said. He wasn’t sorry at all, actually, as what made Phil miss the fireworks was infinitely better than the fireworks themselves. He was also fairly certain Phil wasn’t too bothered by it, but he felt like it had to be said, anyway.

“Hmm, I’m not. But, hey, that gives us something to do next time,” Phil said casually, looking over at Dan, the ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

It took Dan’s brain a moment to process Phil’s words

“Next time?” he asked hopefully, a wide grin spreading across his face. Please, this was amazing.

“Yep. Maybe we’ll go to Epcot to see those fireworks, instead.” Phil smirked. “Or maybe we’ll miss those, too.”

Dan’s heart skipped a bit and red flooded his cheeks.

Fuck. He wants to kiss me more? He wants to do this again. Oh my god.

Laughter outside the car jolted Dan out of his thoughts. A family walked past, and Dan watched them find their car.

“Well,” he began. “I guess we’d better start driving home.”

He put the car in gear and moved them towards the line of cars trying to leave the park. Phil started talking about his favorite funny moments of the day, and Dan chimed in with a few Phil missed. Phil also insisted that Dan tell him he was right about the Pooh hats.

“They were the most important thing. They completed the whole picture. You’re the one always going on and on about aesthetics! There’s no way you think they weren’t the best idea ever,” Phil argued playfully. He had a smug grin on his face and he poked Dan’s arm a few times to drive his point home.

God, he’s cute. He so wants me to agree with him, but I can’t give up that easily, Dan thought mischievously. A smirk formed on his face as he started to rile Phil up about it.

“Well…” he drawled. “Winnie the Pooh doesn’t fit my aesthetic, especially not right now. Yellow ears with this pink and blue shirt? Major clashing goin’ on here. I definitely look ridiculous.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Phil’s jaw drop in mock outrage. Dan’s smirk grew as his plan succeeded.

“Winnie the Pooh fits everyone’s aesthetic! There’s never a wrong time to wear Pooh ears, and looking ridiculous is the best part of it! Plus, we looked so cute together that it had to have been worth it,” Phil declared indignantly.

“Hmmmm…” Dan hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose we were a little cute, maybe.”

Phil squawked. “A little? Only a little? I’ll have you know we were definitely the cutest people anyone saw at the Magic Kingdom all day,” he insisted. “Everyone was jealous of us.” He crossed his arms with a huff, shooting Dan a sour glare. “It was the best idea.”

Dan finally couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, letting it out in a loud burst absolutely drenched in fondness. He reached a hand out and pried Phil’s arms apart so he could hold Phil’s hand.

“I’m just messing with you, Phil! I loved the hats and the cute couple aesthetic and how jealous we made everyone else. They were the best idea.” He chanced a glance over at Phil, who had finally relaxed back into his seat after tensely arguing his points. Dan sent him an affectionate smile. “Thank you. They made my day. Well,” he added after a beat, “maybe not quite. The fireworks would be hard to beat.”

Phil blushed heavily, biting his lip to hide a grin. “Good. Great. The hats and the… fireworks.”

Dan pulled their clasped hands to his face and pressed a delicate kiss to the back of Phil’s hand, delighting in the quiet giggle it tugged from Phil, then let go of Phil’s hand to put his hand back on the steering wheel.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, they moved on to talking about their jobs and why they worked at Disney, describing the incomparable feeling of bringing the magical joy to everyone who visited. Somehow, these conversations led them all the way back to Phil’s house. Dan wasn’t sure where the time went, but he wished it would come back.

He pulled over in front of Phil’s house and put the car in park, resting his hand on the middle console.

I really don’t want this to end.

Apparently Phil didn’t want it to end either, as he made no move to get up. He just sat, staring at his house for a moment, then he turned to Dan.

“I really did have a great time,” he said quietly, reaching out to play with Dan’s fingers.

Dan smiled softly, meeting Phil’s gaze. “Me too,” he whispered fondly. He moved his hand slightly so it was holding Phil’s, and he squeezed gently.

“Thanks for treating me. It was sweet of you.”

Dan’s cheeks flushed, and he looked down. “You deserve to feel special,” he mumbled.

Soft fingers brushed against Dan’s jaw, carefully raising his face so he would look at Phil.

Phil’s so beautiful. How did I even get here?

“So do you,” Phil whispered. “So, if it’s okay with you, I’ll take you out next time.”

Dan nodded slowly. He was completely speechless with happiness. Phil had just confirmed that this would happen again, and Dan was thrilled and just a bit overwhelmed, especially with how Phil’s hand caressed his cheek and how close Phil’s face was to his.

And then Phil’s face came even closer, and Dan’s eyes closed as their lips touched.

It was a soft and sweet kiss, shorter than the ones earlier that night, and it left Dan wanting more as Phil pulled away.

“Goodnight,” Phil whispered, his breath fanning across Dan’s face.

“Goodnight,” Dan replied softly, his eyes locked on Phil’s. He wished the night didn’t have to end, that he could spend more time with Phil, but he didn’t push it. Maybe a different night, but not right now. The rest of their day had already been perfect, anyway.

Phil smiled, then turned and got out of the car, quickly walking up the walkway to his house.

Dan stared after him in a daze, reaching up and touching his lips with his fingers. He let out a lovestruck sigh, then smiled wide as he started to drive back home.

A memory came to him as he drove, and he smiled, then laughed.

He definitely didn’t need to worry about some six-year-old coming and stealing his Phil away.

#phan #phanfic #fluff #getting together #au #prince and his helper #first date #disney fic #food mention

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spadesinglasses · 5 years

Text

Avengers Endgame (Movie)

specifically that ending we are all aware about.

spoilers to the whole thing, this is a complete rant and if yer gonna be critical about how much of a casual fan I am, then please don’t waste time reading everything I wrote. Just move on to the next post.

From what I saw while reading the stucky tag here’s the summarized version.

Steve fucked off to the 40′s to live a life he apparently wanted.

and in doing so created a timeline where :

A Steve Rogers will forever be stuck in Ice (because Endgame!Steve took his place and made all search for him stop)

Has two endings for the Bucky in that timeline (either he was saved before Endgame!Steve settled down and is now happily living his heterosexual life somewhere, or that Alt!Bucky is still in the hands of Hydra.

And if Endgame!Steve decided to go back to that hetero timeline after delivering the shield to Sam Wilson, our timeline is now a world without Steve Rogers aka he will be shown as someone who died for the world etc.

Or they could just say that his location is classified information yada yada.

In our timeline if Steve did went back to his now new timeline, I hope that Bucky will not feel abandoned or alone. He is someone who just voiced out whether he was worth all of it or not. You can’t just expect me to believe that that kind of insecurity and doubt of self worth is cured just like that.

I’ve read a headcanon where Steve and Bucky talked about it and how Steve was doubting it but Bucky was the one who gave him the final push, hence the last goodbye and knowing looks/sadness.

I could guess that if we’re going with that, Bucky didn’t know that Steve will come back just to drop off the shield, hence that surprised look when he saw Steve on the bench.

Now there’s hope that in Steve’s new timeline, no Shannon will be alive. Steve will probably veto everyone’s decision to give that name to someone’s daughter. He’ll be like “From here on out, any spelling, pronunciation etc of the name Shanon is banned in our family line.”

Now to address the idea that Steve is robbing the new Peggy the life that our Peggy had. The thing is, the Peggy in that timeline have not yet forged a life with the husband she got in our timeline, and with Endgame!Steve yeeting himself there, then that option is completely obliterated. Peggy of our timeline is still the same. The Peggy with E!Steve is now in a different one having a different life and all that.

Now, the idea that Steve somehow apparently is okay with just picking any Peggy in any timeline is probably not right. When Steve went back to the 1940′s that is technically the same Peggy that he loved up to the point where he went under ice. So in a way that Peggy in the new timeline is still the same, what changed is what happened after Endgame!Steve went there and lived there.

I just want to say something.

Me not getting the ending I wanted doesn’t mean the movie is shitty in a general sense. A lot of people loved it, a lot of people are content with it and I’m not going to invalidate the happiness they got from the film just because I did not like it, and with that I also want to say that I am not happy with the film.

I would love a proper funeral for Natasha, it doesn’t have to be a huge thing but damn at least have more than just the original avengers be in her funeral. The newcomers also should mourn for her, Natasha deserve that at least. I was expecting the people who met Natasha to be there even if they are not best buds. It’s all about respecting who Natasha was.

I was not happy with Thor, but I do understand that people deal with grief in different ways.

I’m annoyed with Quill but that is more of a personal thing. I just can’t take away Chris Pratt’s face away from that character. I’m working on it tho. (No promises tho)

SAM WILSON MY MAN. I wholeheartedly love, support and will forever be there for him in spirit and soul.

Sam Wilson goddamn deserve to be Captain America, for others to finally appreciate the work he puts in. He’s not a jacked up with a serum kind of superhero, but goddamn boy really be there in the frontlines with just wings.

I hope he gets an equipment upgrade befitting his new role. And no I don’t want him to be like Steve Rogers. Heck we don’t want that. America needs to fucking accept Sam Wilson as who he is. And if I have to strangle everyone so they can stop being shitty, I will do so.

I have full confidence that Sam will be a great CA.

I would not be happy with Bucky being CA if they went to that path. Bucky wants to clear his red marks by his own power, his own will and his own self. Giving him the title would not only be faced by huge resistance, but also Bucky would not a huge band aid to just slap against the mistakes he wanted to right.

Bucky deserves a redemption by his own hands and not some title they want to give him.

Me going back to Bucky. I have to ready myself for future because I am already nervous about who they will pair Bucky with. Only if to quell the fans.

Since I haven’t seen Bucky in MCU state that he is heterosexual. There is a chance that he will be paired with a woman or a man. I have a whole thing regarding this part but ya know what fuck it im done.

hmmm i lost my train of thought here.

I’m not even going to dive into the whole plot storyline writing thing going on there because i just can’t give a shit anymore with how they could’ve done the whole stone thing differently.

Ah lastly, the infamous “lgbt” representation by our dear Russo.

Fuck him. Apparently that was the hyped representation. What a fucking joke.

Well at least we got Steve canonically not being homophobic then. Take that fans who say that Steve does not approve of homosexuality. Fuck you.

All in all, I can count off at least two stuff I like about the movie.

The end battle was basically like the War of Wakanda so meh.

I am annoyed that they made Endgame some kind of intro for Carol. I wish she got more scenes there.

I loooove Pepper’s fight scene tho.

It is a fan gratification movie all in all, the storyline is simple and uncomplicated not the way Civil War is.

zhmm what else.

Oh yeah I’m probably done actively anticipating future marvel movies, specially if I don’t know jack shit about what’s it gonna be. So yeah I would be reading spoilers first before deciding whether its worth to be watched on the cinema or not.

As of now, what I’m looking forward to at the tags in tumblr is Captain America Sam Wilson, Bucky scenes, Carol scenes, future character scenes, and actual lgbt+ representation.

To conclude this little rant.

I ranted, whined and wailed because I did not get the ending I wanted. I got disappointed despite not having that much of a high expectation.

This rant doesn’t mean that Endgame is generally a shitty movie. No, it’s just shitty in my own perspective because once again canon defeated me.

So to all fans who shout at casual fans for being too casual, or comic book fanatics who want to rip my head off for not liking what is canon, please don’t waste your energy.

I got into the fandom, the whole MCU because of Stucky, SO yes I will be fucking pissed because they took that away from me just like that.

I WOULD EVEN BE CONTENT WITH THEM BEING PLATONIC BROS AS LONG AS THEY WILL FACE THE MCU TIMELINE TOGETHER, BUT NOOO.

Whatever. I’m happy for Endgame!Steve whatever. He got what he wanted no matter the cost.

#avengers endgame #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tagging these two because they are the center of my rant.#glass thoughts

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xz017 · 5 years

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oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me?????????????????????

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble.

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

#personal tea #read more only #entry

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