So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.
Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.
Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.
Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.
Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.
He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.
He’s doing the right thing.
Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.
And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.
But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.
It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.
It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.
God was wrong to cast out Crowley.
Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.
Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).
Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.
Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.
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please consider how you engage with aaron bushnell's death. you may react to it as you will, but it's crucial to remember that his death was specifically a call to action. it was not meant solely to shock but to draw attention to a vast moral hypocrisy: that to many, a soldier dying in a campaign backed by the U.S. government is noble, even if the soldier kills innocents to do so, even if the cause is morally bankrupt--but this? this is insanity. a man taking his own life, on his own terms, in an attempt to help others while hurting nobody else, is somehow less rational and more horrifying than the mass killing of civilians.
of course aaron's death was horrific. but as he said beforehand, it is realistically no more horrific than what's happening in gaza. if we can't stomach this, then why can we stomach children being bombed? thousands being starved? for all that self immolation is, it brings death in a matter of minutes. it is a fraction of the amount of pain, fear, and grief that people in gaza are experiencing. it's just that we are able to quantify it. and this tiny, quantifiable sliver of horror is still so unbelievably awful. how can anyone bear to think about anything else when this horror is happening a millionfold in palestine? this is the question aaron bushnell was asking. and he wanted you to face it, head-on, watching him burn to death.
I've been seeing people make fanart. minimalist graphics to sell on t-shirts. to commodify his death, to mythologize it not a day afterwards, is not only in poor taste but a hindrance to his message. the answer is not commodification, nor is it defeatism, nor is it rejoicing in his death. if you want to honor aaron's legacy, take action. channel your horror and your outrage into making a material change. this wasn't about him. this was about palestine. remember that it was always about palestine.
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A little hopeful moment which I missed on the first watch, but which I think is so important. Nina and Maggie come to have their talk with Crowley. Now, we all know that Crowley is Maggie—yes, sure, Nina is sarcastic and suave and cool and calls Maggie angel—but it’s obvious that Crowley is Maggie and Nina is Aziraphale. Crowley even admits it himself in the very beginning of this conversation when he tries to justify meddling to get Maggie and Nina together:
“Nina needed rescuing.” Yeah, you know who else always “needs rescuing”? Anyway, moving on.
Nina says she just got out of a relationship and it would be a disaster to get into another one right away. And then this happens:
Nina says she hopes Maggie will still be around, but she knows she can’t ask Maggie to just wait while she figures out her own baggage. There's no guarantee. And then Maggie interjects—
The parallel between Maggie/Nina and Crowley/Aziraphale is so intentional as to feel heavy handed. So what does it mean that we get this exchange in at this particular moment in the script—buried within the conversation which is the catalyst for Crowley confessing his feelings, occurring in the lull immediately before the spectacular dissolution of everything the first two seasons were building towards?
“We could have been us,” Crowley says. Crowley walks out of the bookshop. Crowley turns off their song in his car. Whatever tentative blooming thing has been building between him and Aziraphale for six thousand years appears to be very clearly over. Aziraphale presses the kiss to his lips and knows there is no guarantee they will ever have a chance to be together. There's no guarantee that Crowley will ever want to forgive him, that he will keep on waiting for him.
But.
There is.
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it's so funny to me how qsmp fans who haven't watched dsmp will be like "but why is qwilbur important to qquackity like at all?? they've barely interacted and their ccs don't talk much" You Fool. these two are obsessed with roleplaying the most homerotic shit you have ever seen. you were not there in the tntduo trenches. Niki's birthday party. the Las Nevadas arc. the Wilburger Ranvan. Hitting on 16. you beautiful naive creature. ccquackity dropped everything to start stream and log onto purgatory just for the slightest possibility that it really was wilbur and he would be able to roleplay some weird gay shit. wilbur went into phil's donos to say "tell him being needy isn't attractive" knowing damn well quackity would see it and pretend to be bitter and sad about it. they are committed to the bit always and the bit is acting toxic and gay with each other, and that extends to every single character they have played and ever will play in close proximity with each other. of course qwilbur is important to qquackity because they need to act like a toxic divorced couple or they will die
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