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steveyockey · 3 years

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do you think that -- if they WERE planning to do gay angel press initially -- part of the reason they didn't might have been the (reactionary) bury your gays backlash from fans and non-fans? in which case. twitter rly does ruin everything. :/

I’m not tied to this but here’s a hypothetical to work through that at least provides a theory on the lack of gay angel press (probably not very different from any other theory on this website but just writing it out for continuity),

okay. pre-pandemic. the arc of the final few episodes seems to have been set and 15.18 was the last piece, pending jensen’s approval. roadhouse heaven ending was a go — presumably featuring a cas cameo among other various and sundry friends. approving 15.18 introduces a problem by way of the fact that cas has just confessed his undying love for dean and there’s an expected response. but it’s fine! you don’t actually need that, you’ve been baiting fans for a decade, you can work your magic one more time with a lil wink and nudge and never have to deal with that again. ambiguous “to each his own” ending, you talk up the gay angel on one side and the bronly-ness of the last hunt on the other; everyone walks away happy. you have successfully threaded the needle of finishing off a twelve year queerbait without “caving to the fans,” high fives all around.

15.18 gets filmed. the angel is gay gay. the footage is. we don’t know what the footage looks like. there could be anything. maybe there’s a kiss with tongue. ends up not really mattering because the pandemic happens and they have to stop shooting and stop airing. no idea how much changes in 15.19 (clearly SOME stuff considering we know the folks who got chuck snapped in the silo were supposed to be shown back in the flesh and that got cut). 15.20 has to change — so roadhouse heaven becomes three person heaven (plus the cast and crew, who were already on set so no, this is not proof they could have brought a crowd of actors anyway, it’s just. weird. I don’t like this decision. strikes me as authoritative like WE told the story not YOU. anyway). putting cas in three person heaven makes winking and nudging a lot harder to do and would make the absence of an actual substantive response to the confession uhhhh very obvious. so you have to cut cas. and then maybe you have to cut other references to cas in 15.19, maybe you cut some emotionality from dean’s side in 15.18, maybe you straight up insert the moment in 15.20 where dean tells sam to stop being an eeyore about cas’s death! we don’t know how much was changed, but there was at least the opportunity at this point to dull dean’s response to the whole thing so the absence of cas in heaven is more palatable. it’s the bronly ending, but you already gave the audience the gay angel. and the gay angel is alive and building heaven with his son! no more cashing in on the queerbait but still cashing in on canon gay.

it’s november 5th. 15.18 airs. it trends higher than the biggest election “of our lives.” holy shit! gay angel! but of course the issue is the people responding aren’t the people who have been watching the show. they don’t have context for what’s going on and “turbohell” catches on. fuck. did you kill the gay angel? of course not, he’s in heaven with his son! lisa berry can post her goodbye instagram to her character because obviously billie’s dead, she’s the villain. she’s not expected to come back. but cas is... cas is different. and he’s not dead and you won’t be taking any questions on this until we get to the end, when everyone can settle down. so you have your actors gush about the episode, you leave everyone on pins and needles so they’ll come back for two more, and then! well. 15.20. cas is “alive” technically. dean is dead, as you always planned. some people are happy, some people are middling, and some people are fucking pissed at you because apparently by not outright killing off the gay angel you promised them the gay angel was coming back. any clarification you would offer here would unspool your entire plan — gay angel on one side, brothers on the other. erasing cas isn’t the same as killing him, but you can’t say that (though misha basically did in response to the rogue translator shenanigans). killing dean wasn’t even supposed to be about cas, but now everything is about cas. you took him out of the story completely and he’s still managed to take over. and all you can say is, well, it’s always been a story about brothers.

this obviously doesn’t account for everything, such as what the fuck was uriel’s actor doing? why the fuck did the show actually give us the instructions for how to get someone out of the empty and not do it? and there’s an infinite number of things that could have happened that I would simply never guess not knowing specific onset dynamics and money decisions. whatever happened that caused this clusterfuck really does suck for everyone in that writers room who was on team gay angel because, as I have said in the past, 15.18 only works due to at least four years, if not seven or more, of consciously writing the angel as gay. I hope bobo and yockey and even misha feel personal satisfaction at a job well done, but god if a single fucking interview could at least let us indulge in the victory with them. anyway, all of this is to say, yes I do think the bury-your-gays of it all definitely plays into it (and I would say, again, linking this to it chapter 2, it’s significant muschietti and co decided to make richie gay over eddie; people who haven’t read the book might not know that eddie like. literally drinks mineral water. in the 80s. he wears gucci loafers. he marries a carbon copy of his mother. stephen king would never admit to writing a gay man but that was a gay man. but eddie dies! eddie always dies. so they had some good sense in giving the gay story to the one who lives and leaving the dead one holding all the coding). and I definitely think randos on twitter making fun of the confession did not help matters. but I also think the decision to pull press cannot be extricated from the rubble of the last two episodes and everything they promised but never delivered. literally a single second of cas in the finale would have been their golden ticket! that’s far more than what jj did for star wars! but they got played at their own game by, of all things, an international pandemic. somehow a very supernatural ending after all.

#anon #answered #did I answer the question? you decide!#spn

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autisticandroids · 3 years

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anyway ok so lets talk about ruby SPECIFICALLY in my good s6 au. this ruby concept is almost the same as @lesbiansamwinchester‘s ruby lives au but has some key differences, mainly ruby doesn’t redeem herself in s5. lucifer raises her in sympathy for the devil because she really was the best of those sons of bitches and she deserves it but she spends all of s5 conflicted in her loyalties because while she really DOES want lucifer to win she is also In Love With Sam, Unfortunately, and gets more and more uncomfortable with sam being lucifer’s vessel and shit. and then she finally betrays lucifer in like, two minutes to midnight or swan song and he IMMEDIATELY kills her (very important: lucifer must already be possessing sam when this happens). then she’s brought back like. face down in a ditch 300 miles away. that’s how ruby ends season five.

anyway watch this video to set the mood. ruby stuff in season six:

- so at FIRST she is actually running around with a ragtag group of lucifer loyalist demons led by meg. meg kind of hates her for betraying lucifer for sam but also you know sam’s dead and ruby won’t do it again and most importantly they need EVERY pair of hands on board for this. so ruby is kissing huge amounts of ass mostly meg’s, like, meg is making her wait on her hand and foot in an apron. it’s comically villain homoerotic. you know. like ruby serves meg tea in a maid outfit for no other reason then as like. ridiculous humiliation that’s also intensely, weirdly horny. like the lucifer crowley dog stuff in s11. actually meg literally makes ruby wear a dog collar with a little tag that says like, “ruby. if found, please call 666 and return to owner (meg).” i cannot stress enough that this is just STUPID horny for NO reason. you guys know what i mean. it’s basically sorority hazing but up to eleven because demons, and also forever. also meg makes ruby kiss her hand at least once. or like no she makes her kiss her boot. i am having too much fun i’ve gotten distracted.

- ruby finds out sam is alive and immediately ditches. like she just fucks off to nowhere and they can’t figure out where she went. anyway this samruby reunion takes place like, before the first episode definitely, maybe a few months.

- i do like @lesbiansamwinchester‘s thing where ruby tries very hard to be sam’s moral compass but also imo she fucks up, very bad, and a lot. and soulless sam can’t really catch her at it so they end up doing a lot of very fucked shit actually. but she tries very hard because she cares about sam and she wants him to think well of himself y’know. and she wants to be someone who sam would think was worth following.

- re: that last point. many thoughts. head full.

- when sam and dean finally see each other again ruby is there and dean is like what the FUCK. like he did see that she betrayed lucifer for sam at the last minute but also he hates her and doesn’t trust her, and he actually kind of suspects that whatever’s wrong with sam might actually be HER fault.

- this post is relevant.

- okay but i’ve decided that the cas/meg kiss DOES in fact happen in this au because i do kind of love it and also more importantly, with the addition of the insane meg being ruby’s shitty ex vibe that i am jamming into this au with both hands, it is just. chefkiss. ruby and dean look at each other in horror while sam is just like huh? i’m sorry but imagine being ruby and being forced to watch your horrible ex get kissed dommily by castiel. god this is funny i love this. again this is all in subtext because we are imagining cw censors and i’ve used up my one allotted gay kiss for the season by having anna make out with a random woman at an orgy to prove that all angels are degenerate pansexual hedonists, you know. (is this homophobic enough for the cw? i hope so!) also: an orgy which balthazar organized and cas refused to attend, to be clear.

- dean is actually garbage enough about the whole ruby thing that sam and ruby fuck off by themselves for a good while like, maybe three or four episodes, leaving dean alone or sometimes with cas. during this time dean gets a little bit involved with the angel revolutionaries.

- anyway when sam gets his soul back he’s like, torn, between dean and ruby. he feels guilty for how he behaved towards and thought about dean but he would ALSO feel guilty just kicking ruby to the curb.

- HOWEVER when he gets his soulless memories back he does kick her to the curb because she has done some REALLY fucked up shit while trying to be his moral compass like she is BAD at it.

- once ruby is left all alone in the world, guess who shows up in a flutter of wings and ambiguity! it’s anna!

- she is here to ask ruby if she wants to spy on hell for the angel revolution. ruby accepts because everyone else hates her right now. if anna wants to take her in under cas’ banner (and not tell the winchesters because they’re technically on the same side but what’s a little subterfuge between friends) ruby will take it.

- ruby and anna DO get to have some fun agent runner/agent lesbian subtext, as a treat! at least when anna isn’t busy eating food out of lisa braeden’s fridge like villanelle and other nuts things.

- like i do wanna be clear anna just. appears in lisa braeden’s kitchen, slowly, wordlessly eats her leftovers while staring her down, and then flies away. this contributes to lisa’s impending mental breakdown. MY season six is about the madness of the suburban housewife, among many other various things.

- also i want to be clear that raphael’s side is actually like, funneling weapons to the lucifer loyalist demons to try and get them to defeat crowley but it’s all very hush hush, like, raphael would NOT want his underlings to know that he has organized this, like, they can barely stand to work with naomi. the fact that raphael had naomi organize help for DEMONS is unthinkable. anyway it’s basically celestial iran-contra.

- ruby is actually one of the last people to stick by cas even when like, anna and balthazar are betraying him, because like. whomst among us has never wanted to become god a little. and also, ruby is weak to authority figures we KNOW this she might be down to accept cas as her heavenly father a little, she’s NOT a rebel. but most importantly she sticks by him because, you know, i love sam and he’s mad at me for kinda betraying him and you [REDACTED] dean and he’s mad at you for kinda betraying him like we’re all winchester derangement syndrome patients here, and also like. i get it. sometimes they don’t know what’s good for them. sometimes in order to love you have to betray a little bit.

- ruby doesn’t turn on cas until he breaks sam’s wall. but by then it’s too late and there’s nothing she can do really.

- the parallel where it was dean who stabbed ruby in lucifer rising and it’s sam who stabs cas in the man who knew too much is actually intentional this time and WAY more aggressive. actually there are tons of cas-ruby parallels. i think meg should call ruby a whore like one episode before crowley calls cas a whore just to hammer it home. i think the thing where soulless sam runs away from dean’s judgement and is running around with ruby while dean is sulking about it but also running around with cas is super aggressively obvious. god i love that ruby’s existence makes it super obvious that cas is dean’s [REDACTED]. that’s so fun.

- this has been an intensely hypertextual romp and it’s apparently nearly fifteen hundred words, good god. anyway, special thanks to @lesbiansamwinchester, @pietacastiel, and @seragamble, all of whom brainstormed with me

#spn #good s6 au

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thiscastielhasflown · 3 years

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so i was watching 6x10 caged heat for the first time in a while today and noticed something that i knew i needed to make a post about. this is probably already common knowledge but, hear me out and give me a second to just hyperfocus over this -- it’s going to be long too so i apologize in advance. this is also not meant to be taken negatively towards meg/cas shippers -- i do not truthfully ship them (for obvious reasons), but i am not at all hating on you if you do so.

preface to events in the episode: sam tries to give meg ruby’s knife to fight off the hellhounds after them but she refuses, saying that they’ll need it when facing up against crowley. dean proceeds asks how she’s going to fend them off without the knife. then, meg kisses cas and does some...hand action in which we find out is her grabbing his angel blade (and yet again, that is not a euphemism). cas taking it one step further and realllly getting into the kiss (which i believe was him showing off to dean -- i do not think there was any actual “sexual/romantic” feeling behind). both sam and dean are confused by what they just saw and cas answers with, “i learned that from the pizza man”, a reference back to the porn he happened to stumble across earlier and watched (*the office look to the editor of the pizza “then” segment in season 15*).

back to what’s current going on: they take care of crowely for the moment and meg leaves, to which dean makes these comments --

-- obviously cas could be oblivious to what dean is insinuating but i’d like to think that he understands at least the sexual implication undertone and he just really doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t have any “feelings” towards meg in that way. it was a little “show”, meg started it and cas reciprocated it in return, i mean dean’s reaction during the kiss and after this comment pretty much says it all. i mean, we know that meg “knows” something is going on between them and dean is just the stereotypical jealous romance type. this is a win for cas.

so they all exit the building safely and cas deep down admits he’d give anything to be on earth right now with them rather than fighting in heaven --

-- he’s torn between his “home” (heaven) and his “home” (earth with dean) and it’s an emotional time for him -- he feels guilty that he isn’t able to do more to help with sam’s soul because he truthfully feels bad for him and pretty much hates to see dean this way. it feels as though he’s helping them out more towards of “fixing” sam to “fix” dean, who is going through it with the ben/lisa problems too which mirrors dean/cas in season 15 -- we love to see that.

then, gotta love dean’s standard “cas -- we’re all friends here” line thrown in at the end of their conversation, digging himself into his own “friend-zone” hole. good luck with that

recap -- what we can learn from these scenes?:

1. dean is the pizza man

2. cas is oblivious in the best ways possible and loves to make dean jealous

3. meg is secretly a heller and no, i will not elaborate any further

#spn 6x10 #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #i hope some of this made sense #spn #supernatural #spn fandom #supernatural fandom #misha collins #jensen ackles

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grassoftheeast · 3 years

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I'm about to make a hot take on the confession scene in 15x18 so HEAR ME OUT.

I was talking to my Dad (who started watching spn with me around season 6 and has only seen a couple of episodes from the earlier seasons, but I've explained to him most of the stuff from them) about Dean and I mentioned how parts of his character didn't really make sense. That hes always like "no chick flick" moments and stuff but other times it's obvious how much he really cares about people (for example, basically every scene with Sam and Cas where one of them is in trouble). I said that Dean was big macho man and didn't talk about his feelings and he got thag from his dad.

But my dad brought up an interesting point. Dean doesn't often openly express love and even when he does, does it badly or in an unsatisfying way to watch (he doesn't quite say what he wants to, it's forced or annoyed, ect), yes. But he does this not because he was taught to do so by his dad, but because every time he tried to openly express emotions, he was punished for it by the universe.

Take Lisa and Ben, for example. Dean tried to love them, tried to have a good, nuclear family, white picket fence and neighborhood barbeque life, but it was practically ripped from his hands. He tried to stay in touch with them when he went back to hunting but it only hurt them further like in the vampire episode. On TOP OF THAT he finds out that Sam didn't try to see him that whole year BECAUSE he tried to have that apple pie life. Could you imagine that?? I tried normalcy but because of it, the person I love most in the world didn't want to come back into my life for fear of me straying away from it. And Sam wasn't the only one, Dean found out later that Cas did the SAME SHIT. His best friend and his brother stayed out of his life BECAUSE HE WAS LOVING SOMETHING AND SOMEONE.

Then there was Sam. Sam who he'd brought up and taken care of. Sam who was as much his burden as he was his brother. A burden that he LOVED. A burden he'd do anything for. And he cared about him, and he left. He cared about his mother, and she died. He looked up to his dad more than anything in the world, loved him so so much, and even HE punished him for it by never giving him choices.

There's countless examples of this. Over and over the universe showed Dean that loving people, even his own family, would be the death of him. So he sticks to just family, because he knows he needs someone. If anything, just to have backup on hunts. But he can't help but love, he loves and it tears him apart half the time.

Then there's Cas. Cas who he ripped from his angelic purpose, who Dean probably blames himself for most when it comes to messing up things. He never gets too close, but God, he wants to. He calls Cas family because that's safe, right? He's allowed family because family just means safety and backup.

Dean Winchester was punished at every corner for loving just for the sake of loving. So "no chick flick moments" for him, thank you very much.

And then. 15x18. Cas tells him he loves him. Not as family. Romantic love. Eros.

It fucking breaks Dean.

Cas loves him unconditionally. Not in the family way. Not in the way Dean has been taught to care about things: because it's beneficial for survival. Cas loves him just because he DOES. No reason. Not for survival, not for hunting, just for love. Just for Dean.

It would shatter him. Everything Dean has known, everything Dean believes and has been taught and has understood. Everything that confines his world view. Purpose.

But Cas loves without purpose. And for it, he's taken. Stripped away from the universe. Just like everything else.

There's no love without purpose, Dean learned this years ago, but Cas loved him anyway and he paid the price.

In that way (and yes, I'm on the verge of tears writing this right now), that ending makes sense. My dad doesn't know the ending (we're on season 11 right now, but I know most of what happens later on), but he when he told me that Dean can't love because the universe has always punished him for it, that shit made so much sense.

And yeah, in that sense, even the death scene makes sense. It's hopeless, it's awful, and it's the worst way to die for Dean Winchester. But when your world has just been shattered by the revelation of a lifetime, unconditional love, I think I wouldn't care at that point either.

YELL AT ME IN THE COMMENTS, GO AHEAD, MY EYES ARE TOO WATTERY TO SEE MY SCREEN NOW ANYWAY.

#dean winchester #supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #casdean #Dean #Winchester #theory #analysis #im not crying you're crying #We're both crying #Sorry not sorry #He still deserved better #You know what would've been GREAT #If Cas came back and Dean was allowed to love him back unconditionally #Full arc #Damn #I should be writing this show

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spneveryseason · 4 years

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Au Revoir: Final Breakdown of the Final Trailer (Maybe)

Well...they certainly revealed a lot in this one, especially compared to their last trailer

Notable clips and moments

There’s a lot here, folks!

We start with a series of shots of the Impala, and lead into Jared announcing a take, saying “au revoir famille”. We then see Dean having a beer with someone, and Jared having very bloody makeup being applied to his face. A few shots of the crew follow, and then Sam or Jared (can’t tell if it’s in character or not) wearing a little crown in front of a birthday cake. Next is Lisa Berry applying her makeup, and the setup for the shot with the vampires from the previous trailer.

We then see a shot from a distance of what looks like Sam and Cas arguing, or having an animated discussion, followed by a moving shot of Sam and Dean near the Impala:

Next, Cas is digging a grave near a stop sign:

Then, a shot of Sam, Dean, and Jack walking down the road, with an obvious space between them:

We then see the familiar shot of Dean covering his face in despair, but we now pan out to see that he seems to be in the Bunker. Sam is then seen pouring a drink and looking upset, followed by Cas and Jack sitting on the Impala together. Sam and Dean are seen next having a drink in the Bunker together:

This is followed by Dean looking up, upset, and Sam throwing a book to the floor, also upset. There’s an overhead shot of someone (I couldn’t make out who) walking into a church, and then Sam hugging Donna:

We then see Jack lying on his bed, upset, Dean cautiously entering a room, and Amara looking upset on a park bench. This leads to what looks like an emotional scene between Sam and Dean, with Dean patting Sam’s face, then his chest:

We get a close up of an upset Jack, then Sam and Dean walking through a barn:

Then, Sam, Dean, and Jack inside the Impala, followed by Billie strangling Cas:

Then a quick succession of cuts with Sam and Dean entering a room with guns drawn, Dean fighting someone, someone emerging with red light and white eyes (I think Billie?), another shot of Sam with a gun, the boys being tossed around the bunker, the scene with the boys in the fog from the first trailer, and Sam clutching his chest in pain in Death’s room:

This leads to a close up of Dean with a gun that looks similar to the shot of him with the Colt when he killed Azazel. We get Sam stabbing at something, then Dean stabbing at something, then Billie slashing her scythe, then Cas disarming someone, then a door exploding.

Finally, we get a series of filming bloopers, among which we se Felicia Day dancing and Jared holding Jensen in a similar way to when Cas held Dean when he was a demon (will Dean need to be restrained for some reason?)

Implications for the future

If the shot with the cake is Sam in character, it’s possible we’re celebrating his birthday in the upcoming holiday ep.

I think the scenes of just Cas and Jack here (sitting on the Impala, alongside the Impala at night in the first trailer, and Cas digging here at night) are all in the same episode. My guess will be the ep where Sam and Dean investigate the death of an old friend, as it frees up Jack and Cas to to their own thing.

Amara, as we know, might have to die. I think what we see here is her agonizing over what choice she’s going to have to make.

I think we might have some potential for upcoming christ imagery and symbolism in the barn scene. Let’s wait and see.

The hug between Sam and Donna has a final quality to it. Could be a goodbye hug.

The scene where Dean pats Sam’s face also has a final quality to it. This is either right before a difficult choice or a final moment in my opinion.

I think we have enough info now to guess at a sequence of events leading up to Cas being taken by the empty, which I think goes as follows:

Billie appears in red smoke and starts to go for Cas. Either she’s possessed by the Empty or she isn’t.

Dean and Cas lock themselves in the dungeon for safety, Sam somehow makes it into Death’s room to try to save Cas.

Billie senses Sam in there and starts to kill him. She threatens that if Cas doesn’t come out, she kills Sam

Dean is upset because he has to make a choice between Sam and Cas. Cas, knowing Dean can’t make this choice and refusing to let Sam die for him, volunteers to give himself up.

Dean is convinced to let him go and he does, and Cas is killed by Billie and/or the Empty. It’s possible that this is the scene we see with Billie holding his neck, but it’s unclear. This also means that Cas won’t get to say a proper goodbye to Sam or Jack, which is a real travesty if that’s the case.

Sam is saved but Cas is gone, perhaps permanently, and they all mourn and there’s now a clear empty space in the group.

#spn #supernatural #sam winchester #Dean Winchester #castiel #jack Kline #Billie #spn meta #spn speculation #spn theory #spn spoilers #spn trailer #speaks #amara #long post

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destieltropecollection · 4 years

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Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 6: College AU

Kisses | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: General Word Count: 1227 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, College AU, Fluff Summary: Some Hershey's Kisses, a misunderstanding and a very flustered Dean.

Where the Skies Are Blue | @deservetobesaved

Rating: General Word Count: 1361 Main Tags/Warnings: meet-cute, fluff, mutual pining Summary: Dean is mesmerized by a boy in class, but he doesn't show up again, much to Dean's dismay. (Spoiler Alert: Yes, he sees him again.)

The Dare On Your Lips | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1540 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/University, Truth or Dare, Drinking, Alcohol, Oblivious!Dean, bad flirt!Cas, Dean has the biggest crush, Kissing, Minor Misunderstandings, Fluff Summary: Dean Winchester has had the biggest crush on Castiel, but believes that Castiel isn't interested. Then on one drunken night, Dean is dared to kiss Castiel.

Raspberry Jelly | @envydean

Rating: Mature Word Count: 1729 Main Tags/Warnings: brief Dean/Cassie, No Sex, Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, unexpected bi, College AU, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, accidental (brief) voyeurism, Dean in Panties Summary: After Castiel walks in on Dean wearing a pair of panties and grinding against Cassie Robinson, an awkward (tired-brained) conversation happens that almost ruins their friendship - until it doesn't.

Everything to Me | @suckerfordeansfreckles

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2607 Main Tags/Warnings: jealous Cas, insecure Cas, established relationship, love confession, college AU Summary: Dean pulls back from their kiss eventually, leaving Cas feeling way more than just a little horny, and also honestly very empty. Dean looks gorgeous with those stupid rainbow lights casting colorful streaks on his cheeks in the dark room. He looks gorgeous all the time, actually, and Cas is allowed to tell him now, so he does. “You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he says, against the loud music and noise around them, and Dean’s giddy-wide smile makes him even prettier. “So are you,” Dean calls back over the music with a twinkle in his eyes, and then he leans in for another short little kiss. “I’ll grab us some drinks, be back in a minute.” And then he turns around and saunters across the room towards where Charlie turned her cabinet and lunch table into a bar. If Cas wasn’t sure that Dean’s shaking his ass on purpose just by watching him walk away, the wink Dean sends him when he looks back over his shoulder is enough to convince him. For a little while, he just stands there and watches as Dean orders them drinks from the barkeeper Charlie rented for the party. Cas can’t help but consider how he looks, tall, huge muscles, wild dark hair and a blinding smile — just Dean’s type.

Extra Credit | @tobythewise

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2837 Main Tags/Warnings: Professor Castiel, College Student Dean, Bottom Cas, Top Dean, Rimming, Dom/Sub Undertones Summary: After Dean turns in a less than perfect paper, his professor, Mr. Novak, allows him an opportunity for extra credit. Dean REALLY wants that A.

Stargazing Has A Noble History | @jemariel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3058 Main Tags/Warnings: College AU, college party, casual sex, recreational drug use, frottage, photographer!Cas, business student!Dean, sculptor!Dean Summary: “Dean, shut up. You’re good. Have you seen yourself? You have an eye for dynamic lines and -- look, you’re obviously talented. Why aren’t you taking advantage of that?” The night air is growing cooler but Dean’s face feels like a red hot poker. “That’s what Ellen keeps telling me.” “Ellen? Ellen Harvelle? How do you know Ellen?” “She teaches my sculpting class. I had to take an elective, so.” He shrugs. “And how are you enjoying it?” Dean shakes his head. “I love it."" A first.

I Saw You | @kitmistry

Rating: General Word Count: 5899 Main Tags/Warnings: Secret Admirer, Mutual Pining, Fluff Summary: ISawYou: The newspaper column that has made every student on campus look each other in the eyes. Dean has never paid any attention to the messages posted on the newspaper, but everything changes when Charlie finds one that she insists just has to be about him. Or the one where Dean has a secret admirer.

La Vie A Plus | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: General Word Count: 6260 Main Tags/Warnings: Asexual!Castiel, Artist!Castiel, Pining Summary: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you're going with it.

Hue Burn | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7594 Main Tags/Warnings: Synesthesia, Radio Host!Castiel, Artist!Dean, Summary: Castiel lives in a world of colour and sound, endlessly intertwined like two parts of a whole. As a radio broadcasting student, he runs a small segment on their campus radio program in the evening - and with help from his synaesthesia - tries to make the program more interesting by bringing in a little bit of colour. Castiel views his synaesthesia as both a gift and a curse, but after a chance encounter with a mysterious, stunning, golden-green voice, he's starting to think that it's more of the former.

Dear Virgo | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: General Word Count: 9970 Main Tags/Warnings: Asexual Castiel, Soccer Player Castiel, Journalist Dean, Summary: Dean Winchester is a journalism major planning to coast his last year by mostly just sticking to writing the campus newspaper's daily horoscopes, and he almost succeeds. Enter Castiel Novak, captain of the soccer team, and his next interview appointment. It's obvious from the start that there's something between them, but things don't quite go as Dean first hopes, and he ends up learning a lot more about Castiel than he ever planned on - luckily for him.

Honesty Is All About The Timing | @navajolovesdestiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 12017 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe Alternate Universe - College/University Childhood Friends Misunderstandings Bisexual Dean Winchester Gay Castiel (Supernatural) Drunk Blow Jobs Slow Burn Happy Ending Summary: Cas Novak and Dean Winchester were inseparable best friends since grade school, but Dean's father moves Dean away when they get to high school. They connect again in college, but neither of them have been exactly honest about their sexual orientation. Not using their words leads to misunderstandings, then problems, then...?

A Study in Motion | @thebloggerbloggerfun

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 24094 Main Tags/Warnings: Photographer!Castiel, Ice Skater!Dean, College AU Summary: Castiel Novak’s one true passion is photography, though he’s still considered just an amateur with dreams of something more. When one of his professors gives the class the assignment of effortlessly capturing the idea of motion in a photograph, Castiel finds himself without a muse until his study partner, one Sam Winchester, volunteers his brother - a professional figure skater with dreams of his own and a past that held him back.

The Stars, They Shine | kradarua (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 52953 Main Tags/Warnings: Theatre, Homophobia, Misappropriated Christianity, Astronomer!Castiel, Accidental Actor!Dean, Gay Panic, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, First Time, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Minor Castiel/Meg Masters, Top Dean/Bottom Castiel Summary: Engineer-in-training Dean Winchester just wants to work on cars. Astronomer Castiel Novak spends his time holed up in the school’s observatory looking at the stars and trying to piece together his dissertation. They’ve never had any reason to cross paths. Not until they get roped into participating in the college theatre group, anyway. When Lisa invites Dean to join her at the mass meeting, he can’t say no to a pretty face. But the joke is on Dean when he accidentally lands the male lead and has to come to terms with memorizing lines and trying not to make a fool of himself on stage. Moreover, despite his best attempts to stay interested in Lisa, there’s no denying the strange gravitational pull he feels around Castiel. Castiel is just here to prove to Charlie that he’s capable of doing something besides research; it should be easy, except he finds himself becoming interested in Dean in a way he really did not expect. Dean is trying to navigate being way outside his skill set; Castiel just wants to hold onto his scholarship without pissing off the religious organization that gave it to him. It’s going to be a long semester, especially if Dean keeps forgetting his goddamn lines. The show must go on!

Evangelist | @valleydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 334403 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - College/UniversityCollege, Drinking, Underage Drinking, Drug Use, Minor Character Death, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Break Up, Rich Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel's Family is Rich (Supernatural), Corporate Espionage, down with capitalism tbh, Near Death Experiences, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), References to Drugs, References to Abuse, References to Depression, Frat Parties, Poker, Roman Catholicism, Homophobia, Fire, Gambling, Drunkenness, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Slow Dancing, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Bartender Dean Winchester, College | University Student Castiel (Supernatural), Student Castiel (Supernatural), Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Jealous Dean Winchester, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, a frankly ridiculous amount of references to abraham lincoln vampire hunter, Secret Relationship, ALSO!! the megstiel is not explicit! Summary: In Lawrence, the Novak family owns more than god. Castiel is expected to graduate with a business degree, become a community leader, meet a nice girl, and one day help run the family business, Evangelist, Inc. Then he meets Dean Winchester, who vehemently opposes everything Evangelist stands for. When Dean’s need for cash to pay the bills leads him down a risky path, both he and Castiel learn there may be more to Evangelist than philanthropy and good will.

#destiel trope collection 2020 #destiel trope collection #destiel #college au #day 6

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lorewhoresam · 3 years

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Okay, so I suddenly got a surge of inspiration for a meta post about the finale of supernatural. I know it’s been like a whole month, I just cannot get over this steaming shitpile.

First, let’s talk about the finale, because that was embarrassingly bad for a million different reasons, the biggest one being character development.

Almost every single one of the characters got the same ending they would have gotten if the very first episode hadn’t happened.

Dean Winchester Dean daddy’s-blunt-instrument Winchester went out swinging, as he always wanted. Right? I personally think that Dean never really wanted that, that it was part of John Winchester A+ parenting, that because John said that’s what hunters do, hunt until they get killed, he thought that was the only way he was allowed to go out. But, over the years Dean learned that was not true, that hunters could get out if they wanted, like Jesse and Cesar, (who are important to Dean’s character in other ways (see also: dean is bi) and a lot of the ghostfacers. However, since the writers wanted to “go back to the roots of the show” by making it about Sam and Dean and their toxic co-dependency, even though that hasn’t been an issue in years, as shown by the meaningful connections they both made to others, like Castiel, Eileen, Charlie, Bobby, Jo, Claire, and so many others, they killed him off the way he wanted when the show was still solely about two brothers, saving people, hunting things, the family business. If supernatural is all about family, and family don’t end in blood, why did they erase everyone who wasn’t blood? Why was the only moment they mentioned Dean’s best friend, and his son an off-hand remark, flat and meaningless, directly followed, and diminished even further, by Sam pieing Dean in the face? Was that supposed to be funny? Practically the only reason spn was still so loved by so many people was because of the characters and their bonds, and the humor, and the only pathetic excuse for humor was that? It was a big fuck you to everyone who invested time in this show, beautifully in theme with the rest of the episode. A+ for consistency guys! Dean Winchester, who cried everytime Cas almost died? Dean Winchester, who was worried sick every time Castiel didn’t respond to his calls or prayers, knowing full well he can take care of himself? Dean Winchester, Castiel’s absolute best friend in the whole universe? That Dean Winchester didn’t talk, think, cried, mourned Castiel who confessed his love for him to save him? That fact alone is way worse than the bury your gays trope they pulled.

Castiel Controversial opinion time, because IF they had written in the grief (especially Dean’s, because knowing him, he would have survivor’s guilt, and blame himself) everyone would have gone through after his death, it would be kind of okay. Obviously, you need some explanation behind this batshit crazy statement. Understandable, really. He died in a very in-character way in my opinion. Think about it, Castiel, who has always shown his emotions, his love through self-sacrifice, and thus said “I could go with you” when Dean was a bomb to destroy the Darkness, offering to die for nothing, besides to bring Dean comfort, simply because he doesn’t know any other way to show his love, died, confessing his love so that Dean wouldn’t die at the hands of Billy, but instead favouring Superhell for all eternity. His death was character development, because he learned in that moment that he could say it out loud, but only due tot he fact that it would help Dean. But then they just didn’t mention him again in a way that had any real emotional impact on anyone, characters or fans. And worse, in heaven they, as they did with all the other characters, you guessed it, they erased all character development :D Cas was in heaven, doing his holy duty, the exact same way he would have ended up had he not met and fallen in love with Dean Winchester. (God I love being saying that knowing no one can say it isn’t true) It was obvious though that Bobby knew something about their ‘profound bond’, but that was not something we can credit the writers for, because it was due to Jensen Ackles’ and Jim Beaver’s fantastic acting.

Sam Winchester Sam Winchester got the apple pie life, had a son, who he raised to hunt and a faceless blond wife. The strangest thing to me was his son. Sam, who was raised into hunting and - rightfully - resented his father for it, so why would he do that to his own son? It does not make sense. My second point is very subjective, so you may disagree. I my opinion, Sam never really wanted the apple pie life. I think Dean was the one who wanted a family, and normalcy - as much as that is possible with Castiel obviously. I hear you say Sam went to college because he didn’t want to be a hunter. Well, I disagree. I think he went to college, because he knew he could, and he knew it would make John mad. I think he did it out of rebellion. Why, you ask? Sam was always the one who was better at hunting. He was always more like John than Dean has ever been. Dean is portrayed as more violent but that has another meaning, which is a story for another time. Sam like hunting more as well, but he didn’t like hunting with John, because he was an abusive asshole, and Sam had the chance to rebel, to be selfish, because of Dean. Dean dropped out of high school to work, because he needed to provide for Sam. Dean tried so hard to be he perfect soldier for his dad, so Sam wouldn’t have to be. Dean worked all his childhood to create an environment for Sam where he had the option to be selfish, but Sam returned to hunting anyway, but it wasn’t for his dad. It was for revenge. Now, let me ask you; if Sam truly disliked hunting, if he really wanted to go to law school, wouldn’t he just have returned later? He could have, but he didn’t, because he does love it, just as his father did. And when Dean was in purgatory, he had a girlfriend, a dog, a normal life, but he didn’t even hesitate to get back to hunting when Dean came back. Dean though, Dean wanted the house, the family, the kids. And he tried to get it. But he got pulled back into the life and left Lisa because he had no other choice. And, most importantly, if Dean never went to get Sam in college, and Jess was never killed, his life would look the exact same. He would one day stumble across a ghost and get back into the life, and die of old age, with a blonde wife we know nothing about and a kid.

I still have one tiny question.

Why the hell was John Winchester, abusive and absentee father, in heaven? Why?

#spn #supernatural #meta #spn meta #15x20 #15x20 meta #character development #what character development #fuck andrew dabb #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #dean is bi #tw: mention of abuse #tw: swearing

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jensensitive · 4 years

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To me, purgatory was where Dean figured out and accepted his feelings for Cas, so this little twist at the end of 15x08 is having me reeling.

Basically, here’s the thing, right? Cas betrayed dean in season six, and and then in season seven he was dead, and there was So Much tension between them in season seven. Like it was Bad (sound familiar??), and they had only just started working together again at the very end of season seven. Dean was so broken up about what cas had done, how betrayed and hurt he felt. I mean Cas had hurt Sam, nearly killed him. Dean and Cas were very, almost irreparably, Broken. So when they were sent to purgatory together, he had only just kind of forgiven him, right? They were copacetic enough. Dean wasn’t yelling at him and angry anymore but they weren’t really Friends again yet. So keep that in mind-- they became friends in season four, were friends in season five while they went through some end of the world shit, dean and cas didn’t see each other for a year while dean was with lisa, cas lied to dean for a year, went against dean, broke Sam’s head, died, they got back to a tentative working relationship after Cas worked to make up for things, and then purgatory.

Dean didn’t think there would ever be a way out of purgatory. And he wanted to find cas. And he didn’t even know if it was like his cas. And basically he thought “Hey I'm just gonna be stuck in purgatory forever with cas”! I feel like that’s glossed over a lot. But Dean did not think that there was a way out of there. It’s very obvious when he meets Benny that he did not think there was any way out. And he and Cas weren’t even really like friends again yet. But dean was like “yeah yeah let’s do this, I’m gonna fight through purgatory, torture and kill monsters [which is not something Dean does at all lightly], to find him to be with him forever in purgatory. And we’re gonna fight side by side forever for the rest of time.” That’s what he thought. And he prayed to Cas, and he fought his way through purgatory for who knows how long like that.

Then once he met benny and benny told him there was a way out, he’d been looking for cas for so long, presumably at least a couple months, he had this tunnel vision of “i’m gonna find cas, we’re gonna be together forever.” (Platonic or not, that’s what he’s thinking) He’s fighting, he’s torturing monsters, he’s looking for cas, he’s thinking about cas, he’s praying to Cas. That’s all he’s doing. He spent at least a couple months, probably more than that just thinking about cas. Just thinking about cas the whole time. So when he meets benny, he’s still got that tunnel vision. He’s set on his goal of finding cas. He knows that he wants cas in his life, that he needs cas, that he loves cas. I don’t see how it’s possible that he could possibly not know, at least to some extent, not know that he’s in love with cas, because of exactly what purgatory was, running around purgatory for so long focused on finding cas and being with cas forever. So then when he meets benny, he knows what he wants, he knows what he’s about. He knows that he needs cas and he’s not going to leave without him, that he needs him in his life forever. (He’s in love with him, okay. Let’s just be clear here, lol, he is.)

Now, Dean would also do the same thing for sam. He would fight through purgatory to find sam. He’d do that forever. He’d want to fight side by side forever in purgatory. The difference is, they’re brothers. They grew up together. Dean feels a responsibility towards him because of the way they were raised. With cas, he’d just betrayed dean, and with cas, there’s no reason for Dean to feel any sort of responsibility towards him, even under these circumstances because Dick being a problem in the first place was Cas’s fault. Dean has no real responsibility towards Cas. Dean and Cas aren’t chained to each other in any way, they choose each other. And I think that’s what's so interesting about them is that they always choose each other. They need each other in a certain way because they love each other, but they don’t have to be together because of outside influences or forces or any family tie. They’re together despite everything so often. So many things come between them and try to tear them apart, but they always end up together again, because they love each other. That’s all there is to it really. (Free Will, Babey!!)

(And this ofc says nothing of the fact that when Dean couldn’t save Cas, he like invented a whole new memory because he couldn’t deal with the actual reality that cas chose to stay behind. Like….. Fucking…. Kill me…….)

I think the flower visual Michael gave us is very apt. I think, for Dean, his romantic love for Cas really bloomed in purgatory in a lot of ways.

#and those are my purgatory feelings #spn spoilers #purgatory #spn thoughts #deancas #spn 15x08

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bonelessbloodfreak · 4 years

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What About Cas?

Pairing: Dean/Cas, Destiel

Word Count: 2,532 (I didn’t mean to make it so long oops)

Summary: Cas always goes on Dean’s family vacations. He’s his best friend, why wouldn’t he? But this time Dean brings Lisa too, and everyone realizes that she actually wasn’t a made-up girl to hide his “relationship” with Cas. Lisa tries to ignore her boyfriends odd friendship with Cas, but destiel is just too real.

Prompt: “Everyone thinks Cas and Dean are dating, but after Dean brings Lisa as his girlfriend everyone learns that Cas and Dean are just friends and they need to be together”

@superduckbatrebel

(Side note, this is my first college au fic so I’m sorry if it’s not that good, I was trying to keep it short and sweet but I think it wanted to be longer)

You can read it on ao3 here

Dean was on the phone with Sam discussing the plans for their upcoming “family vacation”. They were renting a big beach house and spending a week by the ocean, which sounded like absolute heaven to Dean.

Bobby, Ellen and Jo were coming and Sam was bringing his girlfriend Eilene and Jody and Donna promised to bring the girls up for a day or two so they could have a big barbecue.

“Wait, Sammy, one more thing,” Dean says as Sam was getting ready to hang up.

“What is it?”

“I was thinking of bringing Lisa. She can only stay for a few days because she works during the week and couldn’t get any vacation days, but she could meet the family ya know?”

“Really? Uhm, okay, Uh, what about Cas?”

“Cas is still going. What about him?”

“Are you two good? To be honest I thought you made Lisa up,”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“I thought maybe you were trying to hide your relationship with Cas.” he admits.

“My- my what? My relationship with… what?” Dean splutters. “No. No Sammy. Lisa is real. Cas and I aren’t in a relationship. And my girlfriend will be coming on our vacation for two full days.”

“Okay, got it. You’re straight. Girlfriend. Lisa is real. Not in love with Cas. Understood.”

“In love? For god's sake Sammy. No.”

“Okay, okay, got it. Sorry,”

“Good.” Dean says, still muttering under his breath.

“How does Cas feel about Lisa?”

“He’s fine with her. She’s nice.”

“Alright, well… I really should get going, Eilene is gonna be here any minute, but I can’t wait to meet Lisa.” Sam says as he hangs up, and Dean nods, even though Sam can’t see it.

***

So a week later, Cas is in the backseat of the Impala while Dean packs Lisa's stuff into the trunk and then they’re on the highway, Dean’s music blasting, windows down, and Lisa's long hair blowing in the wind. She has on a pair of classic “beach vacation” cat-eye sunglasses and a small white tank top and it’s really a miracle Dean doesn’t notice the death glare Cas is giving her.

It’s not that Cas hates her or anything. Quite the opposite really. He can’t find a good reason to hate her. Besides the fact that she’s dating Dean. She’s really pretty perfect. She balances him out. She makes him laugh. She’s gorgeous. She’s a girl. And Cas, who has long since admitted to himself his crush on his best friend and college roommate, can’t stop glaring at her.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean calls to the backseat, “Maybe you wanna change outta that sweater, and put on something a little less college-y and a little more beach-y, yeah?”

“Yeah, you’re always so put together, loosen up!” Lisa agrees and Cas, who had been about to listen to Dean, instead looks at Lisa, plasters on a clearly fake smile, and grumbles;

“I quite like my attire actually,”

“Ugh, man, come on. I’ll get you in some vacation clothes just you wait.” Dean promises and Cas just smiles and rolls his eyes at him. He’s quite confident that Dean is right about that one, even if he knows he’ll feel ridiculous out of his white button up.

Pulling into the beach house’s driveway, they find that Bobby and Ellen are already there. Inside, Bobby is sitting in one of the big chairs with a beer and an old book. He looks up and grumbles a greeting when Dean carries his stuff into the house.

“Dean! Cas! So good to finally see you boys again!” Ellen comes out of one of the bedrooms and immediately goes to wrap Dean, then Cas, into hugs. “And who’s this?” She asks, looking at Lisa, Bibby looks up and does a double take, noticing the third party that arrived with Dean and Cas.

“This,” Dean grabs her hand, “Is my girlfriend, Lisa!”

“She’s real?” Bobby says after a moment, but Ellen sends him a look and hits him lightly with one of the couch pillows. Dean looks affronted.

“It’s very nice to meet you Lisa. It’s about time huh? How long have you two been together?” Ellen smiles

“About a month now right? We were in a few classes together so we’ve known each other since my sophomore year.” She smiles.

“That’s wonderful.” Ellen says. “I’m just finishing up with my unpacking, you guys go claim a room before Sam gets here and takes the big one, right?” Ellen pat’s Cas on the back as she heads back into the bedroom she came out of. “Oh! And Jo is in the kitchen putting away the beer!” Ellen calls out.

The rest of the day progresses with plenty of relaxation and activity. They settle in, eat some food, have some drinks, go to the beach in the evening for a bonfire and then settle into their rooms for the night. The next day, Jody and her family arrive just before noon.

It’s obvious that everyone thought Dean was lying about Lisa because although Jody doesn’t mention it, Donna's eyes go wide and immediately find Cas. To make it worse, Cas comes to Dean later and asks in a whisper “Why did Donna just apologize to me on your behalf?”

Everyone has a great time, and at the end of the night, Jody, Donna, Alex, Claire, and Patience have set up blankets on the couches and carpets in the living room to sleep and Dean is giving Cas a goodbye shoulder clap and getting in the car to drive Lisa home.

The ride is only a half hour to Lisa’s apartment, as opposed to the hour ride back to Dean and Cas’ place, so it’s not too much trouble for Dean. But as soon as they’re on the highway again, Dean notices Lisa’s forlorn look.

“Hey, what’s up? You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I had fun Dean.” She smiles.

“Good. So did I. I’m glad you could come.”

“Me too.” She nods, her hand makes gentle, tired, waves in the wind out the window, then she stretches her fingers and pulls her arm back inside the car and clasps her hands in her lap.

Dean looks at her, worried, but doesn’t press for answers.

“Dean, I think maybe we weren’t such a good idea.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean that every time Cas is in the same room you find him. Every time he talks to you, you smile like he’s the most important thing in the world. You- you’re always touching him. On the shoulder on the arm, the back, ruffling his hair.”

“Lisa, Cas and I are…” He starts, just friends. But he thinks about the way Cas would wait up for him with dinner and a movie on nights Dean had to work late. And the way Dean pours a second cup of coffee and leaves it on Cas’ nightstand when Cas has had a late night.

“You and Cas are what Dean?”

“Just friends. That's it.”

“Right. Well I’m glad you have a friend like him. I really am. And I really did have fun. I just think, maybe you should do some thinking.” She says. Dean sighs and sneaks a glance at her.

“Thinking?”

“About how you really feel. It’s not a bad thing Dean.” She tells him. “You’re allowed to be with him. No one would judge you.”

“I’m not worried about- Lisa, I really do like you.”

“I know. But you definitely don’t love me.” Dean is about to speak up but she cuts him off “I should have known. You two were like this before we started dating, I should have seen it coming. But I just really liked you.”

Dean’s eyes are glistening a little, his hands are starting to shake and it’s really a good thing they’re at a redlight.

“I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt. It sucks. But it sucks even more to see you and Cas so obviously pining for each other. It will be easier this way. Okay? It’ll be easier if we aren’t a thing. So please just think about it okay?”

The words I'm not in love with Cas are on his lips. But he looks at Lisa and sees her looking back at him, so sadly and so sincerely. He just nods. And then he’s pulling into her driveway and carrying some of her bags to her house.

“Thank you Dean. I’m sorry. Good luck with Cas.”

We’re just friends.” He whispers after her, but she probably doesn’t hear him.

As much as he tries not to think about it on the car ride back, Cas keeps popping up in his mind. The way he seems so innocent and dorky but is actually a freaking badass, the way he stayed with Dean all night when his dad passed, the nights they spent studying and making stupid jokes to help each other remember things. Even better, their all nighters on the couch binging netflix and pressed closer together than either of them would ever admit.

When he gets back to the beach house, he grabs a drink and goes right to his room, hoping to spend the rest of the night watching movies till his eyes burn and he forgets about Lisa and falls asleep.

But instead he finds Cas sitting on the loveseat in front of the window with a big theology book.

“Dean, you’re back.” Cas says, looking up, he immediately looks worried when he notices the redness under Dean's eyes and the exhausted look. “Are you okay?”

“She broke up with me.” He whispers. And Cas pulls him into a hug. Dean thinks about pushing away and sending Cas back to his own room, but his stupid brain tells him to lean into the hug instead. So he wraps his arms around Cas and lets out a sigh.

“I’m sorry Dean. I know you liked her.”

“Yeah. I did.” He whispers. “But that’s what bothers me the most. I’m not as upset about it as I should be.” He says, sounding scared and when Cas tries to pull away and look at Dean, he just pulls him back into the hug so Cas can’t see the hesitation on his face.

“You seem upset though.”

“I am. But I’m also just… tired. I liked her. But I didn’t like her enough. She saw that. I guess I feel bad for leading her on.”

“Oh. Well if you need to rest, you should do that. Would you like me to stay?”

“No, that’s alright Cas, I’ve- I’ve got some… thinking to do.” Dean says in defeat. He had promised himself ages ago that this wasn’t going to happen. Him and Cas weren’t a thing. He had been trying to push away his feelings since day one but Lisa had gone and told him pretty things like “you’re allowed to be with him” and now it’s all he can think.

The next day, Dean pretends nothing ever happened. He’s not in the best mood, blaming it on his (very) recent break up, and he avoids Cas like the plague, but by that night, with the help of a talk with Jody about how being bisexual was completely normal and okay, He managed to shove his doubt to the side and at least act somewhat normal around Cas.

So when the week is almost up, Dean has done a significant amount of thinking (far more than he would like to admit) and manages to get stuck having a feelings talk with Sam. He then grills up two burgers and finds Cas out on the back porch.

“Hello Dean.”

“Hey Cas. want a burger?” Dean offers the second plate to him.

“Yes, thank you. Did you want to talk or just watch the sunset?”

“whatever, man.”

“You know I took an astrology class in highschool.” Cas says, Dean looks at him in awe. “I’ve forgotten most of it so I probably couldn’t tell you much now, but it was very interesting.”

“That’s cool Cas.”

They look up at the darkening sky for a few more minutes, eating their burgers and enjoying the company, even if the silence seems more tense than usual.

“You know, buddy. There actually was something I wanted to talk about.” Dean swallows. Cas looks up at him, waiting.

“I’ve been thinking… about why-about why Lisa broke up with me. And then about… us.”

“Am I the reason she broke up with you?”

“No. I mean. Yes, but it was me. Not you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Cas, She broke up with me because she saw I didn’t love her. That can’t be your fault.”

“You didn’t love her?”

“I loved the thought of her. A pretty girl, a more normal life. No lying. And she was perfect. But she wasn’t my perfect.”

“What’s your perfect?”

“My perfect isn’t a pretty girl, that’s for sure, I just want something that feels right. That feels normal.” He grumbles, exasperated. When Cas only keeps staring at him intensely, he continues. “You’re my normal Cas. Waking up every day to you. It bugs me that I’ll always need to say something, I’ll always need to come out. With Lisa I didn’t need to do that. But my perfect isn’t Lisa. My ending isn’t with a girl. At least it doesn’t feel like it.”

“Dean,”

“Cas, I’m sorry it took so damn long, and I don’t blame you if you don’t feel the same, or if you don’t want this with me, but I can promise you that with all the relationships I’ve ever been in, loving them never felt as right as loving you.” Dean's eyes may or may not be watering slightly, and he hasn’t been able to look Cas in the eyes since he started talking, but he’s pretty sure Cas’ mouth is wide open in shock.

“Dean, of course I want this with you.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I do. I love you too.”

“Oh thank god, if Sam was wrong about this I would have murdered him, changed my name, and moved across the country,”

“Well whatever Sam told you was right, there’s no need for that.” Cas says fondly and Dean smiles leaning in closer. Part of him can’t believe this is actually happening. He knows it will probably be a little bit before he can confidently be out and proud, but he also knows that this is Cas.

This has been them since they moved in together two years ago. They would be okay.

So Dean reaches out and finally pulls Cas in, pressing their lips together. Cas kisses back, his hand falling to Dean's shoulder, Dean’s hand moves from Cas’ cheek to his hair and when they pull apart, Dean pulls Cas’ forehead to his.

Needless to say, the next morning when Dean casually calls Cas “Angel” and presses a kiss to his forehead, or when they both go to bed in Dean's room, no one seems particularly surprised.

#Destiel #dean winchester #castiel #castiel/dean winchester #sam winchester #beach #vacation #fanfiction #fanfic

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yetanotherreader · 4 years

Text

Useful—3

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N, slight Dean x Lisa

Summary: The school's most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count (For the chapter): 2,712

Warnings (For the chapter): None.

[For some reason, some of the tags aren't working. I'm sorry about that.]

[[ Also I'm sorry for the no Read More thingy because it doesn't happen on the phone app :-(]]

Useful Masterlist

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Mondays.

You dreaded them. For some reason, they were never good. They were sleepy, tiring and grumpy and unfortunately you couldn't do shit about it. You always had to wake up extra early for a hopefully refreshing shower, take the supposed-to-be small bus ride to the uni, which just got longer because of the Monday traffic and run to the lecture hall, only to have the professor glaring at you for coming late to the class.

Mondays.

Today was no different. You woke up extra early, took a hopefully refreshing shower, took the supposed-to-be small bus ride—WHICH was surprisingly not as long as always—and still ran to the lecture hall. Fxckin' tiring mess. The sleepless sleep still showed in your eyes and you would have given anything to have an extra hour for it that morning. But well, same old—Mondays.

And suddenly, today was different.

"Come on…" A group of annoyed whines were heard from the lecture room just as you entered the hallway.

"What's wrong?" You asked a very pissed Rhea, or was she Akira?

"Morning classes got cancelled. We woke up for nothing."

Honestly.. what the fxck was wrong with the university? Mumbling and whining to yourself, you made your way to the cafeteria, maybe some coffee would help. Tried enjoying the warm sunshine on your face, keyword: tried, as you slowed down your steps near the playground. Or maybe you could just sit in the sun and make the most out of your oh-so-lovely Monday morning? Taking a seat in the bleachers, you decided on reading the book you were, at that time, reading.

Just halfway through the chapter— "Good morning, nerd. I see you're doing some fun stuff over here." You sighed, not wanting to get into any kind of argument at that particular time, or day- or life.

"You're back at it, aren't you?" You looked up at the still smirking Dean, dressed in his black and blue football jersey. A sight for sore eyes.

"Back at what?"

"Being a dick?" You looked back at the book still tired, "Look, Winchester, I'm so not in the brightest Monday sunshine mood right now. Don't bother."

"And here I thought we were friends." He sighed feigning sadness as he turned around to make his way back to the other side of the ground.

"You're here for practice?" He turned back to you, grinning adorably, just as you rolled your eyes.

"Yep but it doesn't start until at least a couple hours."

"Why so early here then?"

"Apparently, there's an emergency board meeting that all the HODs need to attend. So, delayed."

"Oh...that is why" You concluded why your classes got cancelled, "God. Don't you just hate it how they don't inform us about anything beforehand." You groaned.

"Not having the best morning?" He chuckled, as you gestured him to take a seat next to you.

"Nah. I'm the happiest I could ever be," You said with a yawn, "Should we go to the cafeteria before I die or we just let me die?"

"You're such a mood," He laughed toothily shaking his head, "Let us."

Sitting in the cafeteria, you sip on your coffee awkwardly trying to ignore the very obvious gazes of the people around you. You couldn't even make out how Dean looked so unfazed by all the attention, or maybe—obviously, he was used to it.

"You know," Dean started, seemingly, figuring out your awkwardness to ease the tension, "You could have just asked me on a date instead."

You chuckled, thankful for some words, "You wish, Winchester."

"Honestly...I don't" He said winning a laugh out of you.

Time flew by quickly, filled with laughter, corny jokes and sassy remarks with you not even realizing that all that attention didn't bother you anymore. Quite honestly, you didn't even realize they were there. To your surprise, you really did enjoy a Monday morning.

"Oh," Dean exclaimed as his phone buzzed, "Totally lost track of time. It was fun, but Y/N, I gotta hurry now. I'm late."

"Well I still have an hour to kill. Good luck with the practice."

"Oh yeah, there's still an hour to the class," Dean said as he hurried, "You wanna come see the game?"

"Oh, no no. I don't understand it. I'll rather read my book here."

"Nerd," he smiled at you, "Alright then, see you in the class."

"Yeah" You smiled back, as he went. Maybe Dean wasn't all that bad after all.

You just started with the chapter, again, that you were rudely interrupted... again.

"Look who's trying to get some attention, there. Whatcha think guys? What does she think of Dean's charity? That he got the hots for her or something?" You flinched at the ear-piercing group of laughter came from the direction.

"Tss. Geez, Cassie, mind toning down that screechi- sweet laugh a lil bit? Kinda trying to concentrate." You gave her a sweet smile and turned back to your work.

"Hey, Y/N. How's you? Long time no see." She came and sat where Dean sat not even a couple minutes ago.

"Was doing just good." You muttered as you kept your eyes in your book.

"You were? Obviously, you were," she started taking ahold of Dean's cup, playing with it, "Y/N, stop trying, darling. Dean is very out of league for you. I'm saying for your good."

"Sweets. You know the only reason I'm replying to you, Cassie, is just because it's rude not to?" You looked up at her at annoyed, managing a sarcastically polite smile, "Now if you could excuse me, I'm kinda in the middle of something.

She stood up rolling her eyes as you spoke up again, "And well, don't worry. I'm no threat. Dean and me, nope. Not happening. Also, stop acting like he's your property. The guy's got a life of his own to live, about time, you get one for yourself too."

Before she could retaliate, you made your way out of the door, leaving her processing what you said. Not gonna say that you had got bad blood with her but you had got bad blood with her. Honestly, you wouldn't give two flying shits about her if she wasn't the one with the brilliant idea of throwing you into the pool on your very first day. And if that wasn't enough, she had the nerve to bully you about it for the next few months too. Initially you ignored for a long time, hoping she would end it herself, but was she one to? When you had enough of her shit, all it took, then, was one punch to the wall and an angry 'next time it won't be the wall' for her to stop. Not that she ever was a trouble for you later, but you were her glare dart ever since. You were kinda looking forward to her passing out of the college— one year without her unnecessary glares and hushed whispers but she just had to get a year back for her last year. Oh, your life.

Practice was tiring, and since they had gotten just one hour for it, they didn't even get any breaks. On top of that, Dean might have sprained his neck. Maybe Y/N's bad day was contagious. Maybe she passed it to him.

Y/N. The thought of her bringing a faint smile on his lips. Damn, she was awesome. He wondered why she kept to herself, her personality sure would get her a lot of friends. That morning, Dean had actually enjoyed himself after a long time. He'd been so lonely for the past few months, he had almost forgotten how to laugh like he did today. She could be an amazing friend. Not to mention, he was still not over how she helped him back at Jo's without even mentioning it once today. Y/N was a good person, he could say that. Mysterious, but nice. He hoped that they actually became really good friends.

His eyes wandered to find her sitting by herself, in a corner as he made his way into the almost empty classroom, "This seat taken?"

She looked up from the book and, for once, smiled, "Hey..yes..no, please sit."

He smiled in return as he sat down beside her, lowly groaning in pain.

"You okay, there?"

"Yeah, I don't know, I think neck strain."

"Oh, geez. Want some help?"

He chuckled humorously, "And what will you do to make it better?"

"Well, they do say I have magic hands." She chuckled in response too, getting up to stand behind him. She started lightly massaging his neck and shoulders, pressing her fingers to his shoulder blades whilst her thumbs worked on his neck. She did the motion a few times as she felt his muscles relax, his knots loosening. He felt himself relaxing, the pain still there but better. How was she always good at whatever she was doing? She stopped her movements abruptly, as he realized a loud moan escaped his lips, only to burst out laughing the next second, "God, Winchester, what the hell?" sounding a little embarrassed.

"S-sorry. Damn it, your fault. What can I say, you do have magic hands." He laughed out, too.

The day went by quite fast after that. They didn't cross paths post the class again. It was the last lecture when Dean met with Cas and Jo. Finally.

"Hey!" Jo chirped as she came after the class, and hugged Dean from behind, Cas copying the action, "Dude?"

"Hey, strangers." Dean said, not in any mood to have a happy-go-lucky conversation with them.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked, clueless. Jo elbowed his ribs gently.

"What's wrong? Nothing." Dean walked ahead, rolling his eyes as the two of them followed him.

"Dean, come on. We're sorry, okay?"

"Well, don't be. Not that it matters anyway." Dean said coming to a stop, "What? You guys didn't go somewhere private, again?"

"Okay, first of all, stop taunting us, jerk. And second of all, we're sorry. We didn't mean to-"

"First of all, don't copy Sammy. And second of all, I called you two how many times, Joanna?"

"What can we do to make it up to you? Jo is right Dean, we're genuinely sorry. We just had a tiring night, so we slept in. Really really tiring." said Cas, blushing a shade of pink, as Dean's lips lifted in a very surprised smile.

"So...you finally, finally did it?" He looked from Cas to Jo grinning, "So you finally did our virgin angel, huh?"

"Shut up" she grumbled, trying to stifle a laugh of her own, blushing a few shades herself, "What about you and the specsy?"

"Who? Y/N? What about us?"

"Don't act innocent, De. Coffee dates and massage and all, huh." She said, cocking her brow, piquing Cas' interest in the conversation too, "Didn't think you'd go for her."

"We're just friends," said Dean, thinking about it from all the angles, "I think."

"You think?"

Dean shrugged, unable to come with a proper answer.

The rest of the day went pretty okay for him. Cas and Jo finally did spend time with him but it wasn't like before at all. They were different and he expected this, as much as he shipped them. They were a couple now, dynamics changed. He wasn't the same for them like earlier, he was the lesser priority. And single.

"So, you're telling me you're single?" You said, surprising yourself with the subtle, unnoticeable relief you felt. Dean and you had bonded pretty well over the past couple of months. You had never thought you two were ever going to be friends, but he was nicer than he made himself look. You learned a few things about him, and about the first day dare too. Oh boi, weren't you just ready to whack his butt with a spoon.

"Yeah. Well, that sounded judgy, Y/N."

You grinned apologetic, "Hee, sorry. It's just it's hard to believe is all."

It was funny how you two became good friends so soon. You were not really one for friends. For a long time, you'd been alone, convincing yourself you liked the quiet. Although you did, it was undeniable how loneliness got to you every time you wanted to talk to someone about something going on in your life, a bad day or even something as normal as your new favorite TV show. It sucked, now that you were admitting to yourself. It sucked how you had no one to talk to. It sucked how you couldn't even complain about it to anyone. And it sucked to spend your weekends alone in your dark room, trying to distract yourself with a book or fanfic, pretending that it was all okay.

And now here you were. Not in a dark room, not alone and not pretending. Here you were actually talking to someone about the random-est things on the planet, laughing with him and actually enjoying yourself. You both still weren't on the we-tell-each-other-everything stage and you highly doubted you ever were going to be but it was still nice. Yeah maybe you hadn't told him shit about yourself yet, but he was still the closest you'd ever been to someone in years. You had Lisa and you cared about her, you did. But where was it written that the person you care about would care about you the same way too? You were never in the list of her priorities, never even close. But she trusted you, and that's why you were...friends? You didn't know exactly. She would come to you after a break up or when she was having a bad day. You had helped her so much, for so many years, it became your instinct to do it. She had friends, she was loved and she had a life you would never. She was Lisa Braeden. She was she, and you were...you. Plain, dull, unattractive Y/N. That's it. That was you in three words. And honestly, you didn't mind. You had come terms with it a long time ago, terms with no one caring about you.

Until two months ago. Dean was a good friend. He was nice, sweet, protective and funny. And most importantly, he...cared. He would tell you jokes on Monday mornings, give you ice pack when your clumsy ass ran into the closed door and invite you for movies with his friends which you always refused to. When Dean realized you didn't like going out with strangers, he invited you over for a movie night to his place. It was, maybe, the sweetest thing someone had ever done for you. He made you snacks and then you guys talked about random things the entire night only to pass out on the couch later. After that, it had become your Friday night tradition.

And with all these sweet things, could you blame yourself for starting to feel something more for him than you should? You, very well, knew this would never happen. Dean had a type, a taste in girls and you were far from that. You had too few/many curves than what looked beautiful, you didn't have the most beautiful hair or skin and you were not pretty. Simple. He would never feel for you. And you, too, only had a silly little crush on him, which would go with time. Right?

You woke up, cuddled with a warm figure on the couch, head under the blanket. You struggled to pop your head out of the covers and once you did, you were met with a beautifully freckled face sleeping soundly. He looked so peaceful that you never wanted to wake him up. Your eyes just briefly glanced at his plump lips, wondering what it would be like to touch them or maybe, feel them against your own? And in a matter of seconds, your eyes were back at the blanket, hiding your little secret you kept from yourself. A secret only your late night or early morning self knew, which you would conveniently deny to yourself later during the day. A secret you would pass off as nothing but your sleepy head's made up story.

Nothing, but a story.

___________

Chapter 4

A/N: Alright, I don't know how it turned out. It took me more than a week for this chapter, and I couldn't even think of anything. I'd write a few sentences and close the document. A writer's block, I think. Well anyway, I didn't have anything in mind so it's mostly a filler chapter which I somehow used to make the little-st progress in the story. Mostly their friendship. I think I'll make it stronger before I do the shit I have planned. Please don't hate me for the chapter coz I already do :')💔

Tag list:

@bi-danvers0 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @itsjaybro16 @mml232 @blablatiti @stilltoomuchafangirl @bat-shark-repellant @bluebell-24 @shortwinchester @always-money-in-the-banana-stand @soullessbabee @ima-be-a-mongoose

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autisticandroids · 3 years

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ok how would girls au work because i feel like to keep true with the theme of toxic gender roles them being cool and butch feels very at odds with that when like the girl version of that would be like christian girl with an instagram talking about country life and her future husband like it would be an interesting combo for them because john would be like ur an inherent failure for being a girl but also the expectations are lower already for them compared to john and sons

yeah it’s like weird! but i think about it a lot. i made a big fun post with it here.

basically my ideas are a combination of serious (dean) interesting (sam) and self-indulgent (cas).

like first of all i think sam is an out lesbian and i think she came out during the fight before stanford. like, i think she told dean when she was like fifteen, but she told john the night she left. she spat it in his face, actually.

i think dean is like. dean loves her unconditionally but is also lightly homophobic to her about it, you know? they were accustomed to sharing motel room beds as kids but dean won’t do it anymore now that she knows sam likes girls. dean is also like, weird to her about her interactions with other women, and also talks constantly about men, as though men-liking were a cool exclusive club only dean is invited to.

i think sam has like butt length straight hair and doesn’t wear any makeup ever but doesn’t like. wear mens clothes or anything, like she wears plain clothes that are cut for women. on hunts she puts her hair in a braid. maybe she braids a spiked strap into it like beka cooper.

dean is like........ dean is a lot like young, pre-john mary i think. think the song remains the same. dean is obsessed with performing masculinity, while at the same time terrified of seeming mannish or queer. she walks a weird line, and ends up overperforming both masculinity and femininity. she regularly challenges dudes twice her size to arm wrestling contests in bars, but she never goes out of the motel room without a full face of makeup. like she’s obsessed with doing both. masculinity for respect, and femininity for conformity. you know that thing dean does with his voice? the harshening? the intentionally adopted accent and tough guy tones? she does that too. and her voice is raspy, like rachel miner’s. she’s just as invested in her “heterosexuality” as canon dean.

she wears dean’s same green army jacket but underneath it she ties up a flannel shirt so it bares her midriff. she wears her hair like s13 mary, except that sometimes she puts it in little pigtails.

cas is the easiest because cas’ gender presentation doesn’t matter at all except in how OTHER PEOPLE relate to her, so it’s less a question of “how would cas do woman?” and more a question of “what would it be fun to see other people/dean specifically react to?”

so basically like. jimmy novak is a frumpy feminine christian mom. still wears the trench coat and probably a suit but when i say suit i mean blazer, pencil skirt, tights, blouse (or maaaybe a button down), low-ish heels. long hair in bouncy curls (think rowena’s hair but no bangs and black). actually jimmy novak probably pinned her hair up in a slight updo.

anyway i’ve decided that i refuse to try and remember what actually happened with cas falling in like, canon, like how close he got to human. this au’s cas gets close enough to human that she has to start like. showering. anyway she can’t take care of the hair so it gets tangled in a giant rat’s nest and dean gives her a bathroom chop. she has to borrow the winchester sisters’ clothes, because she has to start changing clothes but also because she can’t fucking walk in jimmy’s heels or in that confining skirt without the assistance of her grace.

all the winchesters’ clothes look baggy on her because she’s kind of spindly and narrow and flat as a board. like dean and sam have big shoulders, big hips, and big breasts, and cas has zero out of three, so anything she wears looks like a smock. she keeps wearing the coat over whatever they give her. she’s tallish (five feet eight or nine inches?) but dean is taller and sam is freakishly tall. cas could probably pass for a man alone but when she’s with dean or sam it’s obvious she’s a woman just because of the heights.

when she returns to angelhood at the end of season five, she’s wearing jimmy’s white office button down, but no bra underneath because the only reasons she would need one would be to either make her boobs look bigger or to hide her nipples and cas isn’t interested in either of those things and bras are uncomfortable, no blazer on top, a set of cargo pants that look feminine and form fitting on dean because dean is in possession of an ass and hips, but baggy and dykey on cas because she is not, combat boots (also dean’s), and the coat, and her hair is just like canon cas’ hair but way choppier because dean cut it for her.

anyway, dean treats cas in a WILD way, like. they do some intricate rituals in season four? they are dean winchester and castiel, after all. but after cas butches up in season five and then stays that way dean pushes it into overdrive. “i wish you were a boy so i could date you” shit. dean lets cas put a hand on the small of her back. she jokes that cas is her boyfriend. when cas sleeps, they sleep in the same bed, “since you can’t possibly share with sam, she’s a dyke.” also she called cas cassie a lot when cas looked more feminine but switches exclusively to cas when cas looks more masculine. like it’s this whole “”””straight”””” girl intricate ritual where one is attracted to a masculine woman so one coercively masculinizes her further.

sam tries to check in with cas to see if cas is cool with this forcible masculinization and weird gender relationship, because sam is gay and Understands or at least thinks she does. she also catches wind that cas is here to smash a lot sooner than in canon. but anyway cas rebuffs her because cas hates sam.

tangent, but one of my least favorite things that happens in mid spn, starting i think in s6, is that they start needing plausible deniability for cas, so they start pretending him and sam are like, friends. like 6.20 “i did it to protect the boys. or to protect myself. i don’t know anymore.” like there’s all this emotional stuff where cas is clearly talking about his emotional connection to dean, but sam gets included in order to make it seem SLIGHTLY less gay. and that’s annoying because of the no-homo-ness but it’s actually more annoying because 1) i liked s5 cas’ bitchiness towards sam i think that killed and 2) if sam and cas are gonna be friends after cas was a bitch and called sam an abomination and shit, develop it! develop it! don’t just Say that they are.

anyway it’s my au and i say what happens so the plausible deniability “both the brothers are important to me” shit does NOT happen and cas is a bitch to sam throughout s5&6. they do eventually bond later? like cas still takes sam’s hell trauma, and sam feels like she owes her for that (even though it was CAS’ FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE but sam is batshit like that). so that’s what kind of gets them to eventually bond a little and become friends and comrades.

also sam clocks cas as gay. obviously. sam tries to inform cas about being gay. because sam too is gay. it only kind of sticks. cas doesn’t really understand how human societal roles work. cas has HUGE angel autism and i support her.

also as long as we’re talking about five and six, why don’t we deal with male lisa. so obviously the kid thing doesn’t work. the thing that lisa does that makes dean like :o is not “have a kid that might be dean’s” but “tell dean he was going to propose.” this implies that they were dating in the past longer than canon dean and lisa but oh well.

however, when dean gets pulled back into hunting, she’s six weeks pregnant by lisa and doesn’t know it. cas immediately tells her, and offers to give her an angelic abortion. she accepts without hesitating and cas does it. the fact that this - cas taking ownership of dean’s reproductive organs in a somewhat invasive way, even if it was wanted - contributes to their whole.... season six..... dynamic. dean never tells lisa about this.

that’s everything i can think of. i have work in four hours.

#spn #asks #pregnancy tw #Anonymous #girls au

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winchester-fantasies · 5 years

Text

Until My Dying Breath

Summary: The Mark has changed Dean and taken its toll on him and your relationship. Will you ever come back to him?

Word Count: 2841

Warnings: angst, swearing, smut, fluff

Pairing: MOC!Dean x Reader

Winchester Fantasies’ Masterlist

The first thing he noticed through the haze of sleep was the quiet. It was deafening. He rolled over, his hand reaching to the other side of the bed - her side. It was cold and empty.

He jerked out of bed and fumbled for the lamp. The room was flooded with light, and he squinted against it, silently cursing as his eyes struggled to adjust. He glanced around the room desperately, trying to find something, anything to indicate she was still there.

Finding nothing, he jumped out of bed and practically ran down the hall, silently praying she’d be sitting in the library doing research as she so often did. She always said 2:00 a.m. was her hour of inspiration.

Panic took over when he found the library dark and empty. He hurried to the kitchen, flipping on the light and searching wildly even though he already knew she wasn’t there.

His eyes fell to the counter, settling on a piece of paper. He picked it up with trembling hands. It was a note - a simple one: “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“Son of a bitch!” he shouted, pounding his fist on the counter. He swung around, jerking pots and pans from the hooks over the island and throwing them against the wall, each one making a dent. He shoved bowls, plates, and cups off the metal shelves, the ceramic shattering on the concrete floor.

He leaned heavily against the island, his breathing labored. His heart beat hard as rage pumped through his veins. He glanced down to the Mark on his arm, angry and red. He wished he could take his knife and carve it out of his skin. But this godforsaken Mark wouldn’t let him.

He had warned her it would change him. She reassured him she could take it. He told her to leave. She had stayed. He promised he’d never hurt her. She had believed him. Now she was gone.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts. “You okay?”

“She’s gone,” he choked out.

“What? Why?” Sam asked incredulously.

Dean shoved the note into his brother’s hand. Sam’s eyes roved the paper, his lips silently mouthing the words. He frowned and turned it over. Finding nothing on the other side, he looked back to Dean, confusion written on his face. “What is this about?” he asked.

“What do you think, Sammy?” Dean barked, motioning to his arm.

“The Mark,” Sam stated as if it weren’t already blaringly obvious.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair roughly. “Fuck, I knew this would happen,” he lamented gruffly.

“What exactly did happen?” Sam asked, still not entirely following.

“I…. Fuck, Sam! I hurt her!” Dean shouted.

Sam’s eyes darkened. “How?” he asked, his voice low.

“I…we were in the library. She…she said something that really pissed me off.” He let out an angry chuckle. “I can’t even remember what she said. Shows just how petty I was being.”

His face hardened. “I hit her, Sam. I hit her hard. She was bleeding. And crying. I…I couldn’t stand to see her cry so I left her alone. I didn’t even try to apologize or see if she was alright.” He looked to Sam, his eyes wide with anguish. “What kind of boyfriend am I, Sam, that I don’t even check to see if my girl is okay?”

“Not a very good one,” Sam said. Dean flinched at his brother’s brashness, but he didn’t argue. He knew Sam was right.

Dean groaned as he leaned against the island again, his forehead resting on the cold metal surface. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her, Sam,” he said in bewilderment.

“Just give her a few days. She might just need some time to cool off,” Sam said. Sam was always the peacemaker, and the one who saw the good in every situation. Normally Dean found comfort in his brother’s encouragement. But this time Dean found little solace in his brother’s words.

Dean shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s too late.”

**********

Two weeks. Two long, agonizing weeks. That’s how long she’d been gone. Sam had tried to track her phone, and they had even used Bobby’s old tracking spell. When neither of those worked, they turned to Cas. But even that turned up nothing. It didn’t surprise him that she knew every move in the book. Dean had taught her well.

He leaned back against Baby’s hood, her cold metal matching the iciness in his heart. He raised the bottle to his lips and took a long and generous gulp. The whiskey strung on the way down, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart.

He threw the bottle to the ground, and the glass shattered against the rocks that sat only a few feet away. He looked around him, at the wide open field before him, the forest that sat on either side of him, the cloudless sky and the moon that hung low. This was where they had first consummated their love, where they both realized the passing brushes and lingering glances were more than casual flirting, more than just friends.

He took out another bottle and chugged. His head was buzzing and things were starting to get a little hazy, but it didn’t matter how much he tried to drown himself in alcohol. Nothing seemed to numb the pain.

He thought he had loved Cassie and Lisa. He really did. But nothing could have prepared him for this. This was on a whole ‘nother level, one so deep he was finding it hard to swim or make sense of anything. She was his life preserver, and the one light that shone in the shit show that was his life. But without her, he didn’t know if he really wanted to live.

He took out his phone and fumbled with the screen. He pulled up her name, and his heart seized up when he saw her caller ID. She was so beautiful. She was always so insecure and critical of herself, and no matter how many times he tried to convince her otherwise, she never fully believed him. But she would always be the most beautiful and precious treasure to him.

His fingers hovered over the call button. Should he? Sam would probably tell him no. That she needed space and that he’d only be complicating things. Well, to hell with space!

He hit the button and raised the phone to his ear with trembling hands. It rang one…two…three times. He began to lose his nerve. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Just when he was about to give up there was a click on the other line.

“Hello?” she said, and his breath hitched. Her words were unceremonious and monotone, but her voice was about the prettiest sound he’d ever heard. He wasn’t even sure what to compare it to. Maybe like that symphony she’d shown him that one time or maybe like the gentle rain that fell around them when they had shared their first kiss.

He must have remained silent too long because she sighed heavily. “Dean, I’m hanging up.”

“No, no, please!” he begged. At any other time he would have kicked himself for sounding so needy, but right now he didn’t give a damn how he sounded. He needed her to know how lost he was without her.

Silence met his plea, and his stomach dropped. Had she hung up anyway? “(Y/N)?” he whispered, hoping against hope that he was wrong.

“What do you want?” she asked bluntly, and relief washed over him.

“I…I don’t know,” he said.

“Then there’s no reason to stay on the line,” she stated.

“Wait!” he demanded, his voice ringing out in the open air. “Can…can we talk?”

She didn’t answer, and he was almost certain she never would. But then she sighed. “Not on the phone,” she said. “Meet me at that little coffee shop outside of town. The one with our favorite pie.” His heart leapt at her use of the word ‘our.’

“The place where we had our first date,” he said softly.

“Yeah,” she whispered, and he could have sworn her voice quivered just a little. “Be there at 10:00 tomorrow,” she said quickly before hanging up.

**********

He walked into the coffee shop, requesting the table near the back. He ordered coffee before he settled back in his chair. She hadn’t arrived yet, and he kept bouncing his leg as he waited impatiently.

He took a sip of coffee and pulled out his phone, opening the file Sam had sent him. Maybe if he read up about their new case, he wouldn’t be such a basket case when she finally did arrive.

He was two pages in when the bell over the coffee shop door tinkled. He looked up, and his heart nearly stopped. There she was. Just as beautiful and radiant as ever.

Her eyes scanned the crowd until they landed on him. He sent her a half-hearted smile, but she didn’t return it, instead casting her gaze to the floor. She walked over to the table, her shoulders slumped. Anguish and self-loathing filled his mind as he realized he was the cause. He was the reason she was so broken.

“Hey,” he whispered as she settled down across from him. She looked up at him. Her eyes were red and bloodshot like she’d been crying too much, and if the dark circles under them were any indication, she hadn’t slept in days.

“Hi,” she rasped. Her eyes were down again. She played with the strings on her hoodie absentmindedly, feigning interest in the slightly worn out tabletop.

“You hungry?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Not really,” she said, but he doubted it was true. Her face looked a bit thinner, like she hadn’t eaten properly since she’d left. She probably hadn’t. She was always so selfless. Always putting him and Sam first, forgetting about herself and her own needs. He’d always have to remind her to eat and drink. But he didn’t press her this time. He’d make sure she was taken care of right after they took care of the elephant in the room.

“I’m really sorry about the other night,” he said, wasting no time in getting right to the point. She appreciated transparency and despised when people beat around the bush.

She looked up at him again. His eyes searched hers, but her face was unreadable. “Me, too,” she breathed.

He frowned. “There’s no reason for you to apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly swiped it away, almost as if she didn’t have the right to feel hurt. “I made you upset. I promised I’d be there for you; help you through this. I just wanted to be your comfort, Dean. But I only made things worse for you.”

His heart nearly broke that she felt so responsible for what happened. She looked down again, but he reached across and took her hand. She didn’t hold it, but she didn’t pull away.

He squeezed her hand gently. “Look at me, (Y/N),” he whispered. He swallowed past the lump in her throat when her eyes met his once more, hurt swimming in their (Y/E/C) depths.

He forced a smile. “Listen to me, and listen good. None of what’s happened the last few months or the other night was your fault. None of it,” he emphasized. “It’s all me. It’s all because of this god-damned Mark!” he spat out. She flinched at his tone and quickly withdrew her hand from his, shrinking back into the chair.

Where was the badass and fiery hunter he knew? Wherever she was, this wasn’t her.

“I know the Mark hasn’t taken a toll just on me, but on you, too,” he said quietly. “But, baby, I don’t want us to give up. I want us to keep fighting this, and fighting for each other. I don’t want you to give up on me,” he said desperately.

Her eyes shot up to meet his, piercing his very depths. He caught a glimpse of the fighter he loved so much as her eyes flashed. “I’ve never given up on you, Dean!” she stated, her voice cracking from the exertion of trying to maintain control of her emotions. “And I’m not about to give up now!”

“But, Dean,” she said, sobering. “I can’t stay with you if you’re only going to keep hurting me.”

He looked to the table. What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn’t promise he’d never hurt her again. He placed his hand on his forearm, heat from the Mark penetrating his heavy jacket and flannel. He couldn’t promise anything when this thing dictated his every emotion.

“I can’t promise that,” he breathed. She nodded, her eyes welling with tears that she tried hopelessly to hold back. “But I promise I’ll try,” he said, desperate to give her something to hold on to.

“Everyday is a battle,” he continued. “But it’s one I’m willing to fight if it means I’ll have you by my side. With you, everything makes sense. You’re the missing piece that keeps everything in alignment. You’re the only thing that makes sense to me anymore, (Y/N). And without you, I’m not sure that even the Mark could keep me alive.”

“Dean,” she said, her voice trembling. “To try is all I ask.” She reached across the table and took his hand, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. And for the first time since she’d walked inside, he saw her smile.

**********

Before either of them could really register what was happening, they were in a motel room. He had her pressed against the door while he kissed her needily. If felt like months since he’d seen her even though it had only been weeks, and his hunger for her was insatiable.

Her hands wound around his neck as his fingers fumbled with the button on her jeans. He pushed them and her panties down in one fell swoop, and she quickly stepped out of them, kicking them into the corner.

He placed his knee between her legs, spreading them wide, and she bucked against it, moaning as his jeans made contact with her sensitive clit. He removed his leg, replacing it with his hand. His fingers slid past her swollen bud and dipped inside, coating them with her wetness. She shuddered as his fingers briefly touched her sweet spot, and she gasped when he began to stroke her clit. Within moments she was cumming, his name a prayer on her lips.

She was breathing hard when he captured her lips in his own. Her hand found his throbbing erection, and he bucked into her palm until he was on the precipice of release. “Need to be inside you. Now,” he panted. She nodded and released him. He turned her around and started backing her up towards the bed. But they never made it.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, and her back rubbed roughly against the stained and mildewy carpet as he pounded into her relentlessly. Her walls were a soft cocoon of velvet, and he wondered if someone could die from ecstasy.

His hands found her legs, cupping the underside of her knees and bringing her legs around his waist. The new position afforded him a better angle, and he knew he’d found her sweet spot as she arched her back and moaned, the sound breathy and wanton.

“Almost. There,” she breathed, and he pressed on harder and more ardently. He was determined to show her how much he needed her, how much he loved her.

She came hard, her walls clenching around him, his name a cry of praise on her lips. Her legs shook as he came inside her, his warm seed filling her to the brim.

He fell on top of her, his head coming to rest in the crook of her neck. He whispered a litany of sweet nothings while her hands paved trails over his sweaty back and up his neck, fingers weaving through his hair.

He pulled out once he was limp, and he got up, his legs shaky. He picked her up bridal style, carried her to the bed, and laid her down gently. He placed a soft kiss to her brow before going to the bathroom. He returned with a damp cloth, and he cleaned her up with tender ministrations.

He tossed the cloth into the corner before climbing into bed, pulling the blanket over them both. He snuggled under the covers, pulling her close to him and giving her a loving kiss.

She laid her head on his chest, her fingers brushing his skin while his stroked her hip. His eyes grew heavy, and he was on the verge of sleep when she spoke, her voice quiet but strong. “I’m going to fight, too. For you. For us. Until I can’t fight anymore. Until my dying breath.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

***Please do not share my content on any other platform without my consent.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester smut #supernatural fanfiction

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silenthillmutual · 4 years

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okay so i’m glad season 8 of Supernatural has been like “Dean is finally treating Castiel like a living being with emotions and a life of his own!” but i have some AU ideas that could have made parts of it better:

either get rid of Amelia altogether, or introduce her as an in-real-time person with important parts in the plot a la Lisa, instead of just bro-fight angst fodder

or, at the very least, segues into Sam reminiscing about their relationship aren’t things like “staring at an old man with dementia

there being any attempt at all whatsoever of keeping Sam in-character like maybe:

asking Dean about his trauma related to Purgatory, even knowing that Dean doesn’t want to talk about it at the time but that he will eventually

not fucking abandoning Kevin and Meg when Sam, who had always been overly empathetic to everyone and everything, would not have left Kevin or even Meg to just be left to Crowley’s whims, what the fuck????

showing more care and concern about Castiel’s obvious breakdown. like instead of making everything about Amelia, who he had next to no chemistry with (which is due to shitty writing imo), he could have said that he was staying with Dean because Cas is his friend too and even though Castiel obviously has a more intense bond with Dean that doesn’t mean that Sam’s not concerned about What The Fuck Just Happened

not suddenly becoming a vampire racist? that was NEVER a part of Sam’s characterization! there’s no reason for him to hate Benny with no knowledge of who he is or what he’s like. Sam was the one even trying to keep Dean from indiscriminately killing vampires in season 2 or 3, warning Dean that Gordon was bad news

or at the very least, we could have Sam comparing Dean’s defense of Benny to his defense of Ruby way back in seasons 3 & 4 instead of going behind Dean’s back and shit

either give us polyamorous Sam (AU maybe where the text calling for help was actually from Amelia and Don texts them both telling Sam that he’s got it, he knows that Sam is busy w his brother) or when there’s the dramatic moment when he turns around at the bar after hightailing it to Texas, it’s not Amelia who’s there to say “i knew it was you”.....it’s Don [GIVE! SAM! A! BOYFRIEND!]

polyamorous Dean/Cas/Benny. i would love to have seen Cas & Benny interacting outside of purgatory. so like maybe instead of grabbing Sam when Cas knew that Dean & Sam weren’t getting along, he thinks “well we need more people for this fight and i do know someone else who i assume is still alive” and tells Benny he can eat the demons or something. i don’t know.

actually calling what Dean & Cas are going through trauma / PTSD. i know neurotypicals have this weird idea that you have to have been through war to experience PTSD but that’s absolute bullshit, the least they can do is acknowledge that what Dean & Cas have is trauma. i think they portray reactions to trauma so well but it would really just be excellent if they called it by name and examined it more.

#nori noises #spn //#ok to rb i guess

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destieltropecollection · 5 years

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Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 23: Mutual Pining

Falling Awake | @wildsofourhearts Rating: General Word Count: 2530 Main Tags and Warnings: Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Post Michael 2.0, Castiel is a mother hen Summary: After Michael is killed by Team Free Will 2.0, Dean ends up in the Empty, Michael's grace pulling a sliver of his consciousness there. The Cosmic Entity calls him out on not realising Castiel is in love with him. Dean needs to decide what to do with that information as he wakes up home.

It Started with a Fanfic Competition | @tenoko1 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 124540 Main Tags and Warnings: characters write fanfiction, Humor, so much fluff, Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Accidental Plot, UST, Everybody's a BAMF, Cases go wrong, Personal Growth, Sibling Bonding, Found Family, Best Friends, PTSD, Therapy, Alternate Season/Series 12, Unlikely Friendships, Family Bonding,Tropes, Charlie Lives, Everyone Has Issues, Family Feels, Drama & Romance, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Wayward Sisters Summary: What started off as a game becomes a journey of friendship, love, and personal growth; filled with all the ups-and-downs that will make and bind a family.

The Park | @dmsilvisart Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2155 Main Tags and Warnings: friends to lovers, implied affair, marriage, talk of children, marital problems Summary: It the park where they met 10 years previous, it's the park where their friendship turned relationship threatens to end now.

The One Rule Club | @spinnerjen Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4032 Main Tags and Warnings: Smut, Rough Sex Summary: Summary: There is only one rule... Consent.

begin & end there | @reallyelegantsharkfish Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7677 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Catfishing, Online Relationship, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mental Health Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sad Boy Castiel, Phone Sex, Texting, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, Fluff Summary: Dean: You’re not who you say you are Cas has always known it might come to this — Dean knowing the pathetic reality of him — and he always knew whatever they were doing couldn’t last. Eventually Dean would see through his excuses. Eventually he would meet someone like James: handsome, successful, confident. Someone that deserves Dean’s attention.

Cas Stuff | @suckerfordeansfreckles Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4731 Main Tags and Warnings: alpha/beta/omega dynamics, alpha!Cas/omega!Dean, pining, misunderstandings, angst, best friends to lovers, very brief Meg/Cas kiss, knotting Summary: Since Cas and Dean moved into their shared apartment closer to their college, but especially since Dean started making more and more new friends in classes and on campus and at parties, things changed. Dean changed, their friendship changed — but Castiel didn’t. Still, if it weren’t for Dean’s handwriting, blue ink on white paper, Cas would never believe Dean would be this cruel. Would never think Dean would sit down and write an actual list about all the things he hates about Cas. A list. Titled “Cas Stuff”.

Faithfully | @wigglebox Rating: Mature Word Count: 29198 Main Tags and Warnings: Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, recovery, Road Trips, Somnophilia, Bed Sharing Summary: Post-Michael Dean is struggling to recover after essentially suffering a 'cosmic stroke'. The thing he wants the most is a road trip, but with only one person.

Of Flowers and Flours | @lemonsorbae Rating: General Word Count: 4217 Main Tags and Warnings: Fluff, First Kiss, Florist Castiel, Baker Dean, Alternate Universe, mutual pining Summary: Castiel owns a floral shop, Dean owns a bakery.

Lucky | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1529 Main Tags and Warnings: au, best friends to lovers Summary: “He knows he is being far more dramatic than the situation warrants—Cas is only leaving for six months—but Dean has only recently realized that he is in love with his best friend and now he has to watch him leave.”

Dream House | @breathingdestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 26622 Main Tags and Warnings: au, celebrity!dean, misunderstandings Summary: Castiel Shurley and his best friend Dorothy Baum have decided to move in together. After his aunt assumes they are dating, she offers them money for the house, but only if they apply for a famous reality show ‘Dream House’. Since they could use the money and he doesn’t want to come out to his aunt, Castiel and Dorothy agree to fake date for the show. But things go wrong when Dorothy falls in love with the show’s producer and Castiel starts to develop feelings for one of the hosts. Dean Winchester is a co-host of ‘Dream House’, along with his brother. Sam, being a realtor, finds a fixer-upper and Dean turns it into a perfect house for their clients. Even though he has what most people only dream about, Dean is incredibly lonely. He had bad experiences with relationships in the past and he doesn’t think he will ever meet anyone who can earn his trust. Until he meets Castiel.

Solitary Flights and Second Chances | @pherryt Rating: General Word Count: 7415 Main Tags and Warnings: Major Tom, Science Fiction, astronaut!dean, estranged Cas and Dean, Pining, hurt!Dean, sabotage, some homophobic language and behavior, Confessions, Second Chances, Sick!Dean, Angst, happy/hopeful ending Summary: All Dean's life, all he wanted was to go into space. He's sacrificed a lot on the way to that dream. Now he has it and he realizes... he sacrificed too much. Way too much. Sabotage, injury and an aborted trip are a strange way to get back the things he lost... that most precious thing of all... but if he can salvage something good from all this, he'll take it. he just needs to get back home alive, first.

After All These Years | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 99909 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Single Parent Dean Summary: In which Dean finds himself at a wedding as Jo's fake boyfriend against his will, groaning and complaining the whole time, but still trying to appear all handsome and perfect and utterly in love since he's an awesome friend like that (and since Jo would make his life a living hell otherwise). And just when he begins to think that it won't be so bad to eat tons of free food and let his daughter Emma enjoy the festivity his gaze suddenly meets the two bluest eyes in existence and the world stops to move for a moment. Because of course the groom's brother turns out to be his old high school crush Castiel – the only person Dean was never able to forget – and things start to become really complicated all of a sudden.

Autobiography of Black | @drawlight Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14907 Main Tags and Warnings: Pining, Romance, Feelings Realization, Baking, Fallen Angel Castiel, Bunker Fic Summary: Castiel knows all human languages; Dean has never been particularly good with words. (Or: an examination of pies and stars.)

Sending A Raven | @saltnhalo Rating: Explicit Word Count: 38677 Main Tags and Warnings: Viking AU, temporary character death, mutual pining, magic Summary: When Dean, the Viking jarl of Týrvik, leaves on a raid to combat the enemy warriors attacking their ships, his husband Castiel is left to protect and lead the village. The ships return barely a week later, with damaged timbers and a devastated, leader-less crew, and suddenly Castiel finds himself not only in a position of leadership for which he is ill-equipped, but terrified for the safety of his captured husband. With the possibility of a spy somewhere in the village’s midst, Castiel leaves his people under Sam’s care and departs on the journey north to where they think Dean is being held, in a desperate attempt to rescue him before it’s too late.

Kelp! I Need Somebody | @andimeantittosting Rating: Explicit Word Count: 27090 Main Tags and Warnings: canon divergent from 13x23, case fic, mutual pining Summary: It’s been a week since Michael was defeated and Dean freed, but Castiel can’t seem to get back on the horse. Dean, on the other hand appears to have bounced back completely, with one small exception: he no longer dares touch the now-human Cas at all. When they receive a call from Jesse and Cesar to come investigate a series of mysterious drownings near their New Mexico ranch, Dean jumps on the job, much to Cas and Sam’s dismay. But more challenging than the kelpie they encounter, Jesse and Cesar’s relationship holds up a mirror, showing Dean and Cas the future they wish they could have. When Rowena and Charlie get involved, a shake-up is inevitable.

Sometimes, it's better to be alone | @notfunnydean Rating: General Word Count: 3724 Main Tags and Warnings: Dean thinks Sam and Cas are dating, crying Dean, jealous Dean Summary: When Dean discovers, that Sam and Castiel are in a relationship, he does the right thing. He runs.

Only Children and Fools Tell the Ttruth | @notfunnydean Rating: General Word Count: 4163 Main Tags and Warnings: De-aged Cas, De-aged Dean, curses, baby sitter!Sam, shy!Dean, Dean has no filter as a kid Summary: When a hunt goes wrong, Sam finds himself with two children alone in the woods. Dean doesn’t seem to trust him at first, but he cares about Castiel even more and lets a well kept secret out.

I've fallen in love many times… but always with you | @notfunnydean Rating: General Word Count: 2660 Main Tags and Warnings: Castiel is in love, Dean is jealous, sneaky Castiel, obvious Dean, first kiss Summary: Dean and Cas are alone in the bunker, when Castiel wants to know if Dean has ever been in love. In return Castiel tells him about a special person he is in love with. Dean needs to know more. For reasons.

Genie in a Bottle | @thursdays-fallen-angel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 29454 Main Tags and Warnings: Genie!Cas, side Dean/Lisa Summary: When Dean finds (okay, steals) a bottle containing a strange, glowing blue substance, he does so thinking it's a cool novelty, at best. It didn't exactly cross his mind that the substance might be a living being, let alone a grumpy, sarcastic, perpetually-underdressed genie waiting for a new master. But now that he has a bona fide genie at his disposal, well-what better chance will he have to help things along with Lisa? Except, things don't always go as expected, relationships are complicated, magic is never the solution, and sometimes the person you want isn't the person you need.

Lost Time | @mittensmorgul Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7963 Main Tags and Warnings: Fluff and Angst, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Newly Human Castiel, Love Confessions, First Kiss Summary: Dean figured Cas was only trying to let him down easy. He needed a little bit of time to figure out how to deal with it.

Take Residence In My Bones | @babybluecas Rating: Mature Word Count: 34667 Main Tags and Warnings: implied major character death, canon divergent, angst, angelic possession Summary: Being chained to a comet is not how Dean would describe an angelic possession. It’s dark, it’s scary and most of all, confusing. When, with help of Castiel’s voice, he manages to make sense of the new experience, he finally finds some peace of mind not only for himself but for the angel as well. While their relationship unfolds in the seclusion of Dean’s head, the final battle of the Civil War in Heaven approaches inexorably and every step of their hunt for Raphael gets them closer to not being so close anymore. The question is: will Dean be able to let go?

The Return Policy | @castielrisingabove Rating: Mature Word Count: 32550 Main Tags and Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Witch Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Incubus Dean, Accidental Bonding Summary: What's the worst spell an asexual witch like Castiel could cast? Turns out it's the kind that gets him accidentally bonded to an incubus named Dean. Now, Castiel's stuck on a road trip with a sex demon companion as the unlikely pair search for another way to break the bond.

Circuitry and Dust | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 23206 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Antique Shops, Fluff, Romance, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Antique Dealer Castiel, Demisexual Castiel, Demiromantic Castiel, Virgin Castiel, Gamer Dean, Electrician Dean, Talking Birds, Dean in Panties Summary: Castiel's antiquity trading shop is a force to be reckoned with. Last week it was the pipes, this week it's the lights and the crate of ancient gunpowder. Dean, being skilled at many things, regularly drops by to fix what needs fixing. The two of them are excellent friends, and nothing can come between them - not even the shop's resident myna bird and her highly improper vocabulary, most of which Castiel insists he didn't teach her. Now, skip forward a bit. When Castiel discovers Dean's romantic affections are directed at someone other than him, the support he gives Dean regardless of his own feelings brings plenty of matters to a head. Turns out, the answer to his woes was right under his nose the whole time...

Without Further Ado | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 5807 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Requited Love, Laundry, Hunting, Lists, Epistolary, Everyone Is Alive, Love Confessions, Best Friends, Comfortably Bisexual Dean, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Mutual Pining Summary: Dean discovers a decade-old list in his pocket entitled "Reasons not to be with Cas". Every single reason is irrelevant now. So what's stopping them, exactly?

Wee Little Love Child | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 10649 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Domestic Fluff, Romance, Kid Fic, Schmoop, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Team Free Will, De-Aged Sam Winchester, Cursed Sam, Mistaken for a Couple, Sam Ships Castiel/Dean, Matchmaker Sam, Rowena Ships Castiel/Dean, Matchmaker Rowena, Parent Castiel, Parent Dean, Affectionate Dean, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Sam Walks in on Castiel/Dean Summary: After being magically de-aged, little Sammy is under the impression that Dean and Cas are his parents. He wants to know if they're in love, but they can't (or won't) give a consistent answer. The thing is, they have to grant Sam's greatest wish in order to reverse the curse, but they can only do that as a pair. What does Sam want most? For Dean and Cas to express their true feelings. Aloud. To each other.

He Called Me Honey | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 3247 Main Tags and Warnings: Fluff, Schmoop, Romance, First Kiss, Flustered Dean, Supportive Sam, Terms of Endearment, Pet Names, Pancakes, Breakfast, Bisexual Dean, Nesting Dean, Angel Castiel, Food as a Metaphor for Love Summary: After having a weird dream in which he kisses Cas, Dean accidentally discusses the matter with Sam over pancakes. (Then Cas shows up. Dean is a flustered mess.)

Note to Self: Cas Loves You | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3404 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Fluff, Drunk Dean, Bisexual Dean, Caring Castiel, Holding Hands, Love Confessions, Drunken Confessions, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Sam Knows, set somewhere around season 4/5 Summary: Dean is not just drunk – he is VERY drunk. Castiel ushers him back to their motel room, completely aware that by the time Dean wakes up tomorrow, he won't remember anything about tonight. What better time for Castiel to confess his love?

The Moonlighter and the Magician | @almaasi Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67259 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Historical, 1920s, Prohibition, Romance, Fluff, Drama, Social Commentary, Slow Burn, Musician Castiel, Thief Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Autistic Castiel, Agender Castiel, Smart Castiel, Musician Dean, Magician Dean, Past Sex Worker Dean, Wanderlust, Neighbors, Friends to Lovers, Sensual Attraction, Sexual Incompatibility, Bath Sex, Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Newspapers, Happy Ending, Protective Sam Summary: A Dean/Cas 1920s AU. Castiel is a jewel thief, notorious and revered in New York City. For five years he’s been unstoppable, untraceable. Like a bird courting a mate, he brings gifts to his neighbour’s window, hoping to impress the other man with glittering gems. All Castiel wants is to leave and travel the world with Dean. But although Dean’s heart is consumed with yearning for his peculiar friend, after years of being bought and broken by other people, he cannot easily give up the security of home. Can he put all his trust in the man he loves and choose adventure, or will Castiel be forced to fly away alone?

Symbols of Affection | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 4865 Main Tags and Warnings: Romance, Light-Hearted, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Crack, Emojis, Texting, Cupcakes, Sleepy Dean, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Baker Castiel, Elephants, Castiel and Dean in Love, First Kiss Summary: Dean texts Cas a kissy-face emoticon by mistake. However, when he sees Cas' reply, he starts to think maybe it wasn't a mistake after all.

In Which Dean Frogs Up | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 6326 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Canon, Crack, Fluff, Romance, Animal Transformation, True Love's Kiss, Fairy Tale Curses, Moondoor, Oblivious Dean, Dean in Panties, Bisexual Dean, Prince Dean, Prince Castiel (sort of), Coming Out, Charlie Ships It, Oblivious Sam, Love Confessions, First Kiss, set somewhere in season 8 Summary: Dean transforms himself into a frog by mistake, bang in the middle of Charlie's Moondoor tent. Only true love's kiss will put him back to normal. But who the hell is Dean's true love?! Since it's not Charlie or Sam, maybe Cas can shed some light.

Make You Feel My Love | @sternchencas Rating: Explicit Word Count: 24371 Main Tags and Warnings: fluff and smut, mutual pining, tattooed!Cas, music festival Summary: For the first time in his life, Dean has a ticket to the ‘Heaven on Earth Music Festival’ and after enjoying a weekend full of music, fast food, and freaky people, he takes a late night walk over the festival grounds to say goodbye. Little does he know that the weekend is far from over and that fate has a gift for him - a tall, dark, and tattooed gift. Castiel regrets many things in his life, but in the midst of a sea of tents, he makes a choice that leads fate to finally give him a break - a hot, sweet break, in need of an angel.

Love Around The Corner | @sternchencas Rating: General Word Count: 3468 Main Tags and Warnings: librarian!Cas, secret notes, fluff Summary: Castiel works at the library and finds notes hidden in the returned books, addressed to him. Will he find out who's sending them?

Changing Seasons | @mouthwashh Rating: General Word Count: 1792 Main Tags and Warnings: 12x12 Coda, confession, first kiss Summary: And so the hope dies and Dean is left in a desolate kitchen with the resolve that his angel will never show.

Hold onto me, breathe, breathe, you can breathe, you’re not drowning | @60r3d0m Rating: Mature Word Count: 4538 Main Tags and Warnings: Mutual Pining, Love Potion/Spell, Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Dean grins. “You don’t wanna try it?” Cas rolls his eyes. “These usually work on first sight, Dean, so unless you want me to fall in love with you, I suggest you put it away.” Dean licks his lips. He watches Cas’ mouth. Then he tucks the love potion into the Gross Stuff drawer and turns away.

Drive, Darling | @goldenboydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 43782 Main Tags and Warnings: Mutual pining, slow burn, bed sharing, homophobic language, john winchester's a+ parenting, bisexual dean winchester Summary: It's the last day of July and the air is thick with heat and road dust. Dean Winchester is waiting for his new lodger, some photographer from Chicago coming down to take pictures of the famous covered bridges in the area. And when Castiel Novak arrives at the Winchester farm both men develop a bond that grows stronger as the days go by. But Cas is only here for a short stay and Dean fears that falling for him would only end in a heartbreak. Some things, however, are inevitable. Summer is in full bloom in Madison County, Iowa. Hot, cloudless and ripe with possibilities.

#destiel #writersofdestiel #destielfanficnet #destiel trope collection #tropes #mutual pining #2019

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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6.21, Let It Bleed.

>.>

This episode is absolutely agonizing, but provides a tidy encapsulation of Sera Gamble's era of showrunning, pulling on all her favorite themes-- torture porn, basically...

Although I did notice some interesting connections to later canon that I feel merit commentary:

This was the point of no return for Cas. 6.20 may have illustrated the "truth" behind all of s6 to this point, that Cas had essentially been in moral freefall because of his own choices (the road to hell is paved with good intentions), this was the episode that cemented his fate. This was the fulfilment of his betrayal.

Thank heck later showrunners would be able to use this entire mess to ground the narrative of his growth as a character on for the next 9 years, so at least SOMETHING good would eventually come of it. But ugh ugh ugh, I absolutely still hate it on an emotional level within the context of the Gamble Era. She tried to make Cas utterly unredeemable before killing him off... I'm still shocked the show didn't get cancelled after s7, and I'm still convinced that Cas's resurrection in 7.17 was pretty much the only reason it survived, when in much the same way 6.20 salvaged a coherent enough narrative out of s6 to hold the season together, 7.17 salvaged s7 by at least giving the characters (all of them) a chance at redemption after s7 will take pretty much everything from them.

But I digress, as usual.

CASTIEL: You don't believe me. DEAN: I don't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth. CASTIEL: I thought you said that we were like family. Well I think that too. Shouldn't trust run both ways? DEAN: Cas, I just can't... CASTIEL: Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing. DEAN: Trust your plan to pop Purgatory? CASTIEL: I've earned that, Dean. DEAN: (scoffs) CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask. DEAN: You're asking me to stand down? CASTIEL: Dean. DEAN: That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right? Well no thanks. I'll find 'em myself. In fact, why don't you go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass.

And Castiel's fall is now complete. Only instead of falling from Heaven to Earth as he did in s5, he bypassed Dean entirely and dove straight to the basement. And this makes everything that happens in the rest of the episode (from Dean's perspective) just as much Cas's fault as Crowley's. They're one and the same, equally morally at fault (and by the end of 6.22, Cas will surpass Crowely in fault, betraying even Crowley in their partnership and taking the full weight of what will come in s7 onto his own shoulders. Big Bad Status Achieved.)

Something happens in 6.21 that has gained an interesting new significance in Dabb Era:

CASTIEL: I'm sorry. DEAN: I don't care. It's too little, too late. CASTIEL: Okay. Well, regardless, I didn't come for you. DEAN: Meaning? CASTIEL: (he walks up to Lisa and places his hand on her forehead, healing her) She's fine now. She'll wake soon. Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it. DEAN: Thank you. I wish this changed anything. (Dean is visibly upset.) CASTIEL: I know. So do I. All else aside, I just wanted to fix what I could. (Castiel starts to walk away.) DEAN: There's one more thing you could do for me. [...] SAM: (sighs) Dean, you know, you've pulled some shady crap before, but this - (he shakes his head) - has got to be the worst. (he scoffs) Whitewashing their memories? Take it from somebody who knows - DEAN: If you ever mention Lisa and Ben to me again, I will break your nose. SAM: Dean. DEAN: I'm not kidding. (Sam is about to protest, but Dean looks at him and he sees the tears in Dean's eyes, so he nods. Sam closes his door and they drive off.)

And this specific variety of mental torture happens again in 6.22 (Kripke's final episode...), with a more sinister intent:

BOBBY: Oh, Ellie. What have they done to you? ELEANOR: (chuckles) Everything. The demon I could've handled, but when the angel stepped in, I - (sighs) I told him, Bobby. They have enough to crack Purgatory wide open.

Dabb era has given this trick of Castiel's some rather horrifying new context, yes? Thank you, Meredith Glynn! From 13.14:

CASTIEL: The spell to open the gate—you gave us the wrong ingredients. DONATELLO: Duh. CASTIEL: But you know the right ones. DONATELLO: I might. But like I told Sam and Dean, you’re wasting your time. [CASTIEL nods, as he takes off his trench coat.] CASTIEL: Well, I’m not Sam and Dean. DONATELLO: What are you gonna do? CASTIEL: I am going to do something that I promised I would never do to a human being without their permission. I’m gonna strip the spell from your mind. DONATELLO: You—you—you—you can’t. I—I’ve absorbed too much power. Y-y-you’ll fry us both! CASTIEL: I might. [CASTIEL raises his hand and places it on DONATELLO’s head.]

Like we can now assume was a direct parallel to what Cas did to Eleanor in 6.22. Sam and Dean may have tried conventional interrogation techniques, but... Cas has the Advanced Interrogation "strip information directly from their minds and leave them in a vegetative state" power.

Now if anyone was unsure of how Dabb Era regards Cas's role at that point in the narrative, even Bucklemming recognize the horror of this specific power, and specifically condemn both it and Castiel's past actions using it in 13.22. In fact, they heavily imply that this specific power was actively the downfall of ApocalypseWorld!Castiel-- in part because it broke him, and in part because our Castiel condemns it himself, judging and killing his AU self:

AW-CASTIEL I haven’t seen many like you. But... [He walks around behind Charlie. Ketch and the angel who was beating him are watching from across the room. Ketch is still chained to the ceiling and the angel looks gleeful at what is about to happen. AW-Castiel leans over Charlie’s shoulder to whisper into her ear.] AW-CASTIEL But you have to understand that everyone has a breaking point. [Charlie swallows nervously and Ketch looks on intently. AW-Castiel walks around in front of her again and begins to remove his gloves. He is calm.] AW-CASTIEL (as if considering a theory) A...point of pain. Particular, primitive fear, maybe. But it’s a nerve so...raw that your will -- grit, they cease to be factors. [AW-CASTIEL leans forward again as he talks, until he is right in Charlie’s face.] AW-CASTIEL And then all your little secrets, they flow from your mind, to mine...until your mind no longer exists. [His last words are hissed into Charlie’s ear. His eyes begin to glow blue and he grabs Charlies head in both hands. Charlie begins screaming in obvious agony. Ketch is watching, tears pouring down his face at the fate of his friend. Just then the lights go out. AW-Castiel stops his torture and he and the angel who had been torturing Ketch look around in confusion.] [...] AW-CASTIEL You align yourself with the h-humans. CAS I vastly prefer them to angels. AW-CASTIEL Don’t think that you are better than me. Well, we are the same. CAS Yes. We are. [Cas stabs AW-Castiel with the angel blade. AW-Castiel screams and then dies with bluish-white light coming from his eyes and mouth. Cas lets the body of his doppelganger fall to the ground. Cas looks at him for a minute before leaving.]

So I mean, when you have the entire writing team aligned, even Bucklemming, all agreeing that this is the ultimate condemnation of s6 Cas, and even allowing s13 Cas to finally fully reject that path by murdering the version of himself that gave into it completely, it makes for a rather striking moral commentary from the current era of the show back to Gamble Era. I don't really know what else to say about it, aside from "Yes, Castiel was absolutely the Big Bad of Gamble Era, and refusing to accept that horrific narrative turn as the truth when every other writer currently still working on the show has accepted it and done everything in their power to demonstrate that Cas has not only repented of these horrors but gone so far as to structure the next nine years of his own character development around understanding himself and his place in the universe, and actively rejecting every possible path that would lead him to that sort of ruination..." well, that's willfully missing the whole entire point of his character arc.

Unfortunately for Cas, things still have to get worse before they can get better... and on that note, I'm on to s7. >.>

#spn 6.21 #spn 6.22 #spn 13.14 #spn 13.22 #s14 hellatus rewatch #it's spirals all the way down #castiel winchester #you learned it from the goats #we don't talk about season six #we just look at it out the corner of our eyes and grit our teeth at it mostly >.>#meredith glynn #the scheherazade of supernatural #because this was the lowest possible point in that narrative #spiders georg of the tnt loop

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