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gingeraleluke · 2 years

Note

hi mads ! ! i hope you are doin' well ^^

if it's okay can i request a fic (for vinnie) where the reader is feeling exceptionally lonely and burnt out,, like she had a fallout with her best friend and at the same time she feels as if in every relationship in her life she's giving her 100% but she isnt receiving the same (if that makes sense!! also i'd really appreciate if they're alr dating in the fic <3) and j kinda angsty but w fluffy ending :)

ive been feeling vv lonely lately and had a fallout w my best friend who i held dearly so i'd really appreciate if u could write this for me ! ! i understand if u can't tho

i adore ur writing btw it always makes my day 100 times better ! ! mwah i luv u have a great day <3

𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: vinnie hacker x fem!influencer!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: vinnie’s girlfriend has a hard time feeling his presence.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: kinda angsty, but also very fluffy, like one swear word, vinnie cheering his girl up and reassuring her, broken heart from a friendship, reader is sad and lonely:(

𝗔/𝗡: i have never related so much to something in my life and i just knew how much i would have loved to have someone write about it like this for me so hopefully you enjoy this!! as someone who is always giving their all and receiving little in return, i 100% know the feeling. just remember that people like us are special and that everything works out in the end <3 ily PS: i made reader an influencer in this hope you don’t mind lol

y/b/f/n: your best friend’s name

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

you weren’t quite sure what was wrong with you.

you had assumed that you were lacking something in the basic human needs department and that that was why you constantly found yourself chasing after everyone.

maybe you were just…boring?

but, no, that can’t be it. how can a girl with thousands of followers be boring? yet, how can a girl with thousands of followers feel so alone at the same time?

these were the questions that constantly spewed from your head, spinning a web of uncertainty that you would get tangled in and no one could pull you out of it.

“pass me my towel, sweet girl.”

not even your boyfriend.

“sweetheart?”

“hmm?” you broke from your daze, looking at the boy who was calling your name and mentally trying to figure out how long you were zoned out for.

“my towel.”

he was on the edge of the pool, the upper half of his body on display while the lower half was still submerged in water. his arms were flexing as he held his body up, lifting himself halfway out of the water.

“oh.” you lifted your chin from your palm and leaned over to grab the green towel, walking to the side of the pool and handing it to vinnie.

“thank you.” he muttered, the water splashing as he pulled himself up and out of the pool— not even bothering to use the stairs.

it was the first time in a while that you two got some alone time. vinnie living at the hype house made it quite difficult at times, and being super introverted, you always hated going around there. sure, you were a social media star, but you hated the constant cameras and chaos that came with the house. you much rather preferred having vinnie stop by your apartment instead, but since no one was at the house, you let it slide.

he noticed how as soon as you gave him the towel, you immediately dropped back down to your seat, chin in your hand and your phone laid beside you, anxiously bouncing your leg. you wouldn’t even look at him, and would instead just drift out into space, your gaze falling on whatever was in your way.

you weren’t really present.

vinnie momentarily wrapped the towel around his head to absorb the water from his hair before draping it around his hips, drops falling from his hair as he stepped forward.

“did you know that zac effron was in ‘the greatest showman’?” vinnie asked, watching as his girlfriend hummed an absent reply. “yeah, i saw a preview of it and i didn’t even know he was like still acting..”

sometimes when vinnie didn’t know exactly what to say, he’d fill the silence with whatever random thought he could find.

“mm.” you stayed zoned out, your brain analyzing every little thing you ever did and judging yourself for not doing it differently.

“sweetheart…”

“mm.”

huffing, he walked in front of you, squatting down so he was at your level. your brain immediately shut up as soon as his face appeared before yours.

“huh?” you asked again.

“sweetheart, you’re out of it.” vinnie stated, his hands on both of your knees to balance himself.

“i-i know, i’m sorry..” you weren’t sure where to look so you decided to focus your gaze on his earring, wanting to zone out once again and avoid all confrontation possible.

“is it y/b/f/n?” he questioned, already knowing your answer.

“yeah…”

“she still hasn’t answered you, huh?”

“nope.” you spoke, frowning and popping the ‘p’.

“well..” vinnie reached over and grabbed your phone, holding it up out of your reach.

“hey—“

“you don’t need this right now, okay? it’s only gonna make things worse, trust me. i know it’s hard, but it’s gonna be right here with me, okay? i’ll take good care of it and you can get it back later, alright?” he grabbed your shoulder, making you look at him.

“alright?”

you groaned a reply, standing up before him.

“good girl, now let’s go.” vinnie held onto your wrist, dragging you behind him and into the house.

“go where?”

“go cuddle, duh.”

you’re stomach erupted into millions of butterflies from his words and yet you still felt empty inside. “you sure, vin?”

“yes, sweet girl. let me just dry off.”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“okay, baby. i’m all yours.” vinnie grunted, jumping into his bed beside you. his eyes danced down to your outfit.

“y/n, what are you wearin—take it off.”

“huh?”

“here.” he tore off his shirt, leaving his chest bare again and threw it at you. “strip and put this on. it’ll be more comfy.”

“but, vinnie, it’s 2pm..”

“so? no one’s gonna bother us, trust me, and there’s nothing that needs to be done right now, y/n. just come here and get comfy.”

“okay.” you muttered, tearing off your clothes while your boyfriend laid behind you patiently. once his shirt was hugging your body, you plopped down beside him.

“there’s my sweet girl. see how much better this is?”

“mm.” you hummed, clinging to him immediately and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“do you wanna talk about it baby?”

“i don’t know, i just…i need you.”

“i’m right here baby.” he chuckled, holding you closer.

“i know, i just…everything feels really out of reach right now.”

“how so?” he asked, swirling shapes with his fingers on your arm.

“i don’t know, i just… i miss y/b/f/n. she was the only person who i really felt loved by, other than you of course, and…i don’t know, i feel like people don’t care about me the way i care about them. like, i know it may sound stupid but, i just feel like no one really….wants me. like i’m always used by people and yet whenever i want something in return, i’m the bad guy.”

“you aren’t though and everyone feels like that.”

“yeah, but, i’m just so used to constantly giving my all to people and always getting nothing in return and it just really fucking sucks..”

“i’m sorry, pretty girl. i wish everyone was smarter and knew how special you are…because you are, you’re really dope. like….10/10 in everything, i promise.” his voice was soft and he left a small kiss beside your eye once he finished talking.

“you’re my boyfriend, you have to say that.”

“no, sweet girl, i mean it, okay? look, i’m sure everything with y/b/f/n is gonna work itself out, so don’t drain yourself over it. everything is gonna be okay y/n, i promise, and you aren’t stupid for feeling like this. a lot of people do, including me.”

“i’m just so tired…like…i don’t know, i need a break.”

“i know, baby, come here.” he rolled you over so that you could lay against his chest. “i’m all yours right now, okay y/n? we can watch whatever you want, it’s your choice.”

you nodded happily, grabbing the remote and turning on your favorite show, happy to have your boyfriend there beside you.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

@radioblah-blah @eilishbby @lolalee24

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker angst

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eta--piscium · 5 months

Text

✨️This is an appreciation post for my one and only love @schattensaenger ✨️

The year is about to end and we're still together and going stronger than ever. Yes, we may fight as if we're Tom & Jerry, but at the end of the day, we still make up and love each other even more. We can't even stay mad at each other and ignore each other for more than 20mins. Lol. Even if we're both still kinda grumpy, we still stay on a call together and just casually look at the other and then a few mins later, we start sending kisses to each other and we're okay again. Hahaha. You, my love, is something else.

You are the person that I never knew I needed in my life. *yes I know, it sound cliche but it's true* I have made friends with lots of people but nobody can ever compare to you. The way you love me is so different from everyone else. You don't just love me because I'm your girlfriend, you don't just love me because I'm ur person, ur duo, ur potato, ur annoying potato, ur very sassy and loves to tease u so much gf, you love me for me. You told me and showed me that you love me for who I am. You made me comfortable with myself. You made me feel secure. You made me feel so loved. You love me unconditionally.

Honestly, I once thought to myself back then that the person for me would never come. That maybe I'll just be another person. Maybe I'll just serve as a chapter in someone else's story. But, you came. You proved me wrong. You have taught me many many things in life. You taught me all the ways that I could love and be loved. You taught me that it's okay to be vulnerable, that it's okay to cry, that it's perfectly fine and normal to let myself feel things and just let my emotions out. Not keep them in a jar and store it somewhere until they overflow and explode. You taught me how to be patient. To be more understanding. I thought I was open minded enough but you showed me things that I was keeping a blind eye to. You opened up my mind even more. You made me into a better person. You are the only person that came in my life that made me wanna better myself. You made me wanna be the best version of myself.

I'm sorry if I always push your buttons. It's fun to tease u all the time. heh 😏

Okay but seriously now. I'm sorry for all of the things I have done to you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for being so stupid at times that I just can't understand what I should do. I'm sorry for all of the times that I accidentally make u doubt my love for you. I'm sorry for being a huge pain in the ass for you. You still love me tho heh😏 u like me in ur butt. NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY! HAHAHA

I just want to say that you are loved by me and not just by me but by many other people including our friends too.

I also want to say that I am very very thankful that you exist and that you came into my life. Thank you for existing. Thank you for staying. I love you so so so much.

Thank you for all the help you've ever given me. Thank you for helping me learn many things. Thank you for always being very patient with me. Especially when it comes to coding and math. What can I do, the moment I see numbers and formulas my brain immediately goes to sleep. Hahahah I'm sowwy But seriously, thank you for always finding time to teach my bobo ass how to code and all. Thank you for helping with my homework and projects too!! Speaking of project, you have been the greatest help for this website project of mine. You have done waaaaay more than my groupmates. You basically did the whole entire thing on ur own and you're not even getting graded. I am. But you always want the best for me that's why I can't even stop you becaue you get poopy and be like "UR CLASSMATES WILL JUST RUIN EVERYTHING AND HALF-ASS EVERYTHING!!" Cutie u are. I can't blame you tho bec you really made it so pretty and the suggestions u hear from them are just potato. Lol. But really tho, thank you so much for everything. The fact that you are the one that wants to help me with my schoolwork and u get poopy whenever I don't tell u that I have an assignment or quizzes or whatever, I find that adorable. Because it's just you being you. You love to help people. You love to help me. I adore that. But also because I get to secretly stare at u while u do some of my coding stuff bec you look sooooo stunning and beautiful whenever you're too focused on smth. I love it whenever you're so serious and focused, with ur eyeglasses on and ur hair tied in a bun. Oooooofff my heartttttt.😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

I hope our love never grows old, I hope that fifty years down the road you are still the face I see when I wake for the day on a cold monday morning. I hope you are the last person I see after one too many drinks and I hope your laugh is the soundtrack to all of my stories. I hope your body is always beside me and I hope my life is spent loving the only one that could ever find me. I hope that every day of the rest our lives are spent loving each other cause not a single thing in this world could ever convince me to love another, and I hope that the love growing between us two is nurtured by all of the days I will spend loving you.

Ps. I'm sorry this took so long for me to post. I really just have so many things I wanna say but felt like words are never enough. Writing this down on my notepad always makes me giddy and emotional. Lowkey crying rn but u can't see. Lol. Oh and I keep rewriting and adding stuff to it too. Hehehe

Pps. I LOVE YOU SO FREAKING MUCH!😘❤️

#prsnl #loml #potat #bunbun #mako #potato #i love you #i love you sooooo much #bisexual #lesbian #lgbt #yearning #wlw yearning

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missmeinyourbones · 2 years

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what icks do you think the aot boys are guilty of having lol

aot boys x icks! (part 2) (jjk version)

now THIS is content i can get behind

eren:

is the type of guy to think that just letting the water hit him in the shower is washing his body... like you're showering together and ur scrubbing ur legs w body wash or something and he's like wait... you wash your legs? like you don't just let the water and soap hit them? WHAT

tries to start a podcast and thinks hes making really profound points but its the most basic and bare minimum conclusions like "working out actually improves your mental health"

his hair gets greasy really easily but he doesnt like to wash it every day bc it dries it out. you recommend dry shampoo and he REFUSES because it “makes his hair look gray” and ur like no not if you apply it like this and rub it in!!!! he doesnt listen

accidentally airs ur dirty laundry and secrets to all of ur friends LMFAO he really doesnt mean to though but youll all be having dinner or something and someone will order a specific food and he’ll be like “wait baby isnt that the food that gives you really bad gas?” goodbye

the classic "THIS IS FOR YOU <3" and misses

armin:

uses the 🥺 emoji way too much for a grown ass man. like its cute sometimes but its definitely his most used emoji. also says "sowwy" when ur mad at him :/

loves when you scratch his back/head but only does urs for like 2 mins LMFAO. ur taking turns in bed and when its his turn to scratch he does it for like 30 seconds and then is like my turn :) or im tired goodnight :) also gets mad when you stop unexpectedly. gives you side eye

drools in his sleep LMFAO. sleeps with his mouth open and its not that big of a deal unless he’s sleeping on you and you wake up with a fucking wet patch on your chest as if a baby was just napping on you

prefers you without make up and doesnt really understand that you wear it for personal or creative reasons, like he automatically assumes its because you’re insecure or covering something up. like youre going out and having fun getting ready and looking pretty and hes like “why do you wear makeup when you are so beautiful naturally? :)”

buys millennial merch like “dont talk to me before my coffee” or those signs that say “dogs welcome! people tolerated” also calls dogs “floofers” and “doggos”

jean:

genuinely says sheesh. like not as a joke. he'll be like sheesh baby you look so good today and you'll have to hide ur embarrassment lol

is the type to NEVER let you get away with stuttering or fumbling ur words. you know that tiktok thats like "you ever stutter so hard you just have to stfu" thats you around jean LMFAO. you mispronounce one word and hes never letting you forget it

NEVER FINISHES A WATER BOTTLE. he will leave half filled bottles all over the place and then have the audacity to open a new one and drink it in front of you???

sleeps like a LOG. will not move. when he snores and you try to kick him a little bit to be like hey turn over ur snoring, he is not waking up. he gets up the next morning whistling a little tune looking like he just had the best sleep of his life and you crawl out of bed like a gremlin who almost fell off the bed and listened to his snores for 10 hours

such a music snob. he will be like “baby i recently discovered this really good song you probably havent heard of it its super underground” and its tame impala LOL

connie:

hes a mouth breather. he also chews so fucking loud. you guys are sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast & minding ur own business, and he is going to TOWN on his food. close ur mouth. imbecile

kinda the same topic but definitely bites his ice cream / popsicles. you are starting to think he doesnt have feeling in his front teeth anymore. he crunches the fuck out of ice as a "snack"

laughs along with a joke that you know he doesnt understand PLEASE it could be an inside joke w you and your girlfriends and hes trying to butt into the conversation like "HAHAHA"

his phone is always greasy and has crumbs in the cracks of the case and shit. ur like oh babe can you take a pic of me real quick??? and its so blurry because of the shit on his lens

leaves the toilet seat up every. single. time. especially not fun when you pee in the middle of the night and fall in with sleepy tired eyes

levi:

sleeps with socks on. LET UR DOGS BREATHE LEVI. he thinks sleeping barefoot is nasty so he puts on a new pair of socks every time he gets into bed

has to correct you, even on tiny minute details. youre telling a story and youre like "so we waited in line for like 30 minutes" and hes like "it was actually 45." or "we went out to eat last monday" "it was tuesday but ok" like ENOUGH. let me have something

worst. backseat. driver. ever. you could break a little too quickly ONE time and hes so dramatic about it. “that wasnt a complete stop” “you’re supposed to be in the next lane” “that car was in your blindspot and you didnt even look”

answers the phone with “what” every single time. not a hello??? how are you??? how was your day??? it sounds like a chore but in reality he just doesnt like technology and thinks phone calls/texts should be as concise and quick as possible

has literally no decor in his house/apartment like it actually looks uninhabited. has like one couch and a bed. you offer to help him pick some things out and hes like “im always at work anyways why would i need a table”

reiner:

likes drake LMFAO not even old drake (when he was good) but like new "say that you a lesbian girl me too" drake

repeats a joke that didn't land because he thinks you didn't hear it. but you did. it just wasn't funny

when you guys first started talking he was definitely the guy to be like "ur so beautiful, whats a girl like you doing with a little ugly boy like me???" when you guys are in a relationship youre able to see that its just his insecurities manifesting but. it was cringey at first

i just know this man has dirty fingernails. like they are short and well kept but there is always DIRT AND GRIME under them. you make him wash his hands before he touches you

cant be quiet for the life of him. he has loud ass footsteps. like ur sleeping and granted he is trying so hard to be quiet but he literally cannot. slams his drawers, shuts the door so loud, will play a video on his phone full blast. and then when you stir from your sleep and glare at him hes like “good morning :D”

porco:

genuinely says "without me? :(" when you say you are about to shower LMFAOOOO its kinda funny when you guys are in an established relationship bc u can just smack him but he is definitely guilty of saying it seriously when you two were in the talking stage

accidentally mansplains things to you. not in a demeaning or belittling way but like youll make a joke about "why cant we just print more money" and this business major bitch is like "baby...are you serious...because inflation will-" like OKAYYYY it was a joke

his hair is so crunchy from all of the hair product/gel he uses on it. sometimes when hes fresh out of the shower youll compliment his natural hair as an attempt to get him to lay off the gel. his hair is so hard you could drop a brick on his head and it would deflect

backwashes in all of your shared drinks

manspreads, especially in public. youll be sitting in a crowded place and he is openly sprawled out extremely comfortable while a woman with a baby is giving him a dirty look

i had a lot of fun coming up with these! i hope this was what you were asking for :3 thanks for requesting!

#aot headcanons #eren jaeger headcanons #armin arlert headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #levi ackerman headcanons #connie springer headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #porco galliard headcanons #eren x reader #armin x reader #jean x reader #connie x reader #levi x reader #reiner x reader #porco x reader

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nikrangdan · 3 years

Text

roommate!heeseung pt. 1

pairing: roommate!heeseung x female reader

genre: mini fic(?), fluff, comedy, tiny angst(one little sad part)

warnings: cursing!!!

word count: 4.3k

description: i guess you just didnt realize you were in love with your roommate...... who has a girlfriend

————

“ow!”

you had just hit heeseung over the head after he said he would burn all of your plushies

your Precious. Plushies

hell no you’ve been collecting these since you were 11 no way in hell heeseung would threaten ur babies

you rolled your eyes and started to walk to the kitchen to get a snack

stupid heeseung

hes always saying stupid shit🙄

before you walked out though you noticed the look on his face

like he was contemplating something

“y/n... can you do me a favor?” he nervously uttered out before you walked out his door

“....what kind..?” you furrowed your brows

why was he being so cryptic

“uhh i need you to get flowers and chocolates for me from stacys....”

STACYS?????????

stacys was this fancy store 45 MINUTES AWAY..

“ur fucking serious?” you deadpanned

this was something new

in all your 8 months of living with him he had never asked you of a favor this big

for context.., you had moved to this city apartment for college 8 months ago but you couldn’t afford it without a roommate

but luckily you overheard a certain boy praying for an apartment while you were on campus

and you guessed it!!! it was heeseung

you two clicked easily and you were very thankful he was your roommate

after 4 months of living together he told you he got a girlfriend

you didnt really know about his campus life since you didnt have classes together and you never saw him walking around

you dont know why you were surprised when he told you... i mean have u seem Him.....

but nonetheless

u were like “Omg heeseung!!! thats great<3” like the supportive friend u were

yeah and that was that

you didnt meet the girl until another month later

Now that..... that was an experience......

FLASHBACK WHOOSH

*knock knock knock*

who tha hell was knocking at 7 in the morning.........

you staggered your way over to the front door with your matching hello kitty pajamas

and u open the door to see a blonde Lady who looks around your age

Why did u forget to look thru the little peephole in the door...... ur probably just tired whatever

anyways ur like

“uhm....”

and shes like

“? who are you.?”

and ur like

??!!?[\^€]€\¥,_[+{*}*

“i live here....”

and shes like

“?...? oh sorry i thought my boyfriend lived here..”

and ur both just standing there like ;-;

shes all dressed up and u look like a childs room threw up on u

And thats when it hit u

“OH”

“are you heeseungs girlfriend?!!???” your hand raises up to point at her unconsciously

“ yes.. i am” she looked so lost it was so funny

“oh then you have the right place im sorry! hes my roommate” you scurry back into the apartment, gesturing for her to come in and close the door behind her

“what? he didnt tell me had a roommate..”

poor girl 😭😭😭

you quite literally pounce into heeseungs room and smack him while shes still standing outside awkwardly in the living room

“fucking idiot” smack to the face

“wake up” smack to the chest

“heeseung i swear to god” you shake his head

“are you fucking dead???? wake up!!!!” you pinch his ears really hard

that woke him up

“Ow ow ow ow OWWW y/n what the hell???” his eyes are forced open but theyre squinted due to the sunlight

“your girlfriend is here” you whisper-yell at him

“what???” he sat up so quickly you almost laughed

you were 90% sure she heard everything

oh well

his problem

he just stares into space for a second before his eyes go wide

ur just sitting on his bed waiting for him to do something like Uhhh

“shit i planned a date today oh my god” he jumped up from his bed and hastily told you to “stay put” before throwing on a hoodie, walking to see his girlfriend, and slamming his bedroom door leaving u sat on his bed

yes u were nosy Muahahahahah

so u pressed ur ear against the door to listen to their conversation

“sora, im so sorry i slept in late i promise ill make it up to you please baby dont be mad”

you had to stifle your laughter with your hand

God this was gold

“heeseung why didnt you tell me you lived with a girl.”

oooooooh hes in trouble you laugh to yourself

“ah about that.. im sorry i didnt tell you.. dont worry though, you know i only like you! shes just my roommate”

ouch

Why did that hurt 😪

“whatever heeseung.. ill call you later” and then you heard the door slam

already???? you were ready to get ur popcorn :///

you didnt even notice it had been a while before the door opened with you still leaning on it

boom u fell on the floor

“ow”

“shut up” he said before jumping face down on his bed

you stand up to lean against his door again, staring pitifully at the boy

“you okay?” you cross your arms

“mmm” he mumbles into his pillow

“you know i think i deserve a treat for being woken up at 7am on a sunday by your little girlfriend”

“little? shes taller than you” he turned around to lay on his back and chuckle

“oh so you’re making jokes right now when your girlfriend might break up with you?” you glare at him

“shes not gonna break up with me over something this little” he rolls his eyes and grabs his phone from his nightstand

“you know you’re a little piece of shit heeseung!” you yell out to him after you walked out of his room

“how?!” he yelled back

“treat your girlfriend better!”

he kept his mouth shut after that

yeah you two didnt talk for the rest of the day because he stayed in his room sulking or whatever

fast forward to now

Right after he asked u to get him the chocolates and flowers

“please y/n, sora is gonna be here in 2 hours and i need to get everything ready and i dont have enough time to do everything” he begged

WITH THOSE CUTE LITTLE PUPPY DOG EYES OF HIS GOD

“do you really need them from stacys though???” you whined

he just huffed and glared at you “yes! sora only likes them from there.”

“nuh uh mister dont give me that look” you narrow your eyes at him

he immediately stops his glare and tries to look neutral

it almost made you laugh

you just looked at him for a few seconds before giving up

“fine. but what am i getting in return?”

his eyes lit up and traveled up as he was in thought

“hmmm ill buy you food whenever you want for a month”

Wow

“woah thats more than i bargained for but deal!” he didnt realize that until after you shook his hand, very enthusiastically might i add

Lol

so now you were on your way home with the MASSIVE bouquet of roses and beautifully wrapped chocolates sitting nice and snug in the passenger seat of your car

these two things costed $115

oh well its heeseungs money not yours

you found it amusing because heeseung was nowhere near rich so where was he finding this money to blow

over an hour later and ur finally back home

u open the door

u struggled very much btw

almost dropped everything haha

but woah......

your eyes widened and your mouth fell open

“heeseung? you didn’t tell me you two were having the date here..”

as soon as you walked in you smelled a pretty scent and the lighting was dim

it was beautiful

there were candles lit on every surface

rose petals were scattered messily everywhere

the two seater dining table was topped with elegant decor

there was quiet jazz music playing from his speaker

the familiar aroma of your favorite food hit you

standing there in your apartment didnt feel real

it felt like you were in a dream

you couldnt believe your apartment could turn into room from a fairytale

you were never one to be into disney princesses and fantasies

but for the first time ever you almost wished for a prince charming yourself

you almost got lost in a trance

and then....

the boy himself walked out

donned in an all black suit with a sliver of the white undershirt peeking underneath and the white tie

his bangs were covering his forehead and you noticed he styled them to be wavy

he had his earrings in and rings were present on 3 of his fingers

he looked absolutely dazzling

you dont know how or why.. but your heart began to race

why did this feel like it was for you...?

you wanted to be his disney princess

staring at him wistfully, it felt like time had stopped

“oh thanks y/n, i almost thought you ditched me” he chuckled quickly

he was frantic and out of breath as he snatched the things out of your hand

“right!” he began as he sped around the room setting everything up

“im sorry but i forgot to ask if you could leave for today. im such an idiot, im sorry y/n.. you can stay at a friends house or something for the night?” he didnt even look at you as he perfected the chocolates on the counter and the plates on the table

you couldnt help but notice your heart clench and your stomach twist at his words

you were still glued to your spot infront of the door

“o-oh! yeah, okay thats fine ill get my stuff now” you scurry to your room

you speedily threw some clothes and necessities in a bag before walking back to him

“hey..”

he didnt look at you

“helloooo”

“heeseung” you poke him

he finally turned to you

“sorry what?” he gazed down at you with big eyes

“its okay.. just wanted to let you know im leaving now” you give him a small smile

“oh right! thank you y/n again” he grinned

his pretty smile

“you look great by the way... have fun” you manage to say before slipping out the door

you didnt let him reply back because if you stayed in there a second longer you think you would’ve fallen in love with him

where did these feelings come from...?

you smack yourself on your forehead as youre walking down the steps to your car

ur probably just feeling like this because no man has ever done anything like that for u

and seeing it in real life made u want a bf 😟😟

yeah... thats it

so now ur at sunoos house

a close friend from your finance class

he lives in his parents house but theyre never home so he basically owns the place and doesn’t have to pay for it

Yeah u kinda envy the boy

but you love him because hes great

“y/n ..do you like him????” sunoo gasps

you guys are watching tangled for the 10th time and you were explaining what happened back at your apartment

“what? where did you get that from?” you snort, your eyes still focused on the movie

you could literally feel his eyes piercing into your soul with that stare

“the way you were telling me that story.... you sounded a bit jealous if i do say so myself..” he raises his eyebrow and leans back into the couch

“i do not like heeseung, sunoo” your eyes roll and you turn to look at him finally

he has a little smirk as he looks at u suspiciously

“hmmm okay, i get it” he raises his arms in defense and surrenders “you don’t wanna talk about it”

you scoff and laugh at his actions “you’re so annoying”

so ..*time skip* lol

you slept at sunoos for the night

it wasnt anything new bc u used to stay at his alot while u were in the process of moving into your apartment

one of his guest rooms is practically urs bc u have some decorations and spare clothes there :P

when you woke up that sunday morning you realized you forgot to set an alarm

so now its like 11am

well its not like you needed to be home so you shrugged it off

“morning” u said to sunoo when u saw him sitting on the couch watching wreck it ralph

boy loves his movies

“when are you going home?”

“wow rude.... not even a good morning back??” you found him amusing

“sorry, good morning. when are you going home” he turned his head to look at you

it made you laugh

Sunoo is so funny u love him

“do u wanna get rid of me that bad??? i hate you”

“ni-ki and jungwon are coming over today and i dont want you smothering them like you always do” he playfully glares at you

NI-KI AND JUNGWON???!!!??!!!!!!

“MY BABIES????” you exclaim and jump on the couch next to sunoo

“yes” he exasperatingly says

“now leave before they get here”

“WHAT?? no im staying because i wanna see them”

“NO!!!! now get out of my house y/n”

“why not?!!???! sunoo please i bet they miss me so much”

“y/n please.. they do NOT miss you”

“they literally do i always make them cookies and theyre like y/n ur so cool we love you”

“u mustve been hallucinating....”

“sunoo please please please i dont wanna go home” u tried to muster up the cutest puppy dog eyes ever

he looked at your face for a moment

“no u look ugly”

“YOU’RE SO ANNOYING” you push him

“theyre coming back tomorrow you can come then! today is boys night”

“boys night?” you snort “what the fuck are u kids gonna do that i cant be around for?”

“SHUT UP Y/N get out of my house!” he just starts to drag you out of his house himself

“ow oW OKAY fine ill leave... have fun doing.. whatever you’re gonna do” you grab your bag and start to head for the door

sunoo slams the door in ur face after he says “bye dont come back please” 😭😭😭

“asshole!” u yell to him thru the door

you just huff and stand on his porch for a second

you wonder if heeseung still has his girlfriend over and decide to text him

y/n🦧: hi can i come back home

welp

now ur sitting on sunoos porch waiting for a reply

10 minutes pass while ur scrolling on your phone and still no reply

you look up when you hear the front door open

“why are you still here?” sunoo frowns at you

“heeseung didnt answer my text and i dont wanna go back if his girlfriend is still there” you reply

“go home y/n plz.... i lied jungwon and ni-ki arent coming over.. my grandparents are” he tries to shoo you away

“why would you lie about that” you laugh

“theyre really mean! but you can come back tomorrow because the boys are actually gonna be here.. now go because my grumpy grandparents are gonna be here in like 5 minutes” he guides your shoulders down his porch

“ugh.. if his girlfriend is still there its your fault” you pout

“wha- how is that my- whatever y/n go home!!!”

when you drive off you dramatically wave your hand to him trying to show how desperately you did not wanna go home

sunoo just giggles and runs back inside

you drove home extra slow Lol

and now you were at the door contemplating whether or not you just make a run for it

but u said fuck it because u missed the comforts of ur own room

well u knocked a little before unlocking the door

how embarrassing to be knocking on the door of ur own home 💀

you didnt get an immediate answer so u just stood outside in the apartment hallway....waiting....

after waiting for like 30 seconds (because ur impatient) you knock again

well i tried to be nice you thought

you finally gave up and unlocked the door with your keys, kind of slowly opening the door to peek in

hmmm.... nothing

the sun was emitting some rays of light through one of the windows but none of the lights were on

and why was there food still on the table..?

you were kind of afraid to go see heeseung

but

you did notice one thing

there wasn’t a pair of shoes u didnt recognize sitting on the rack by the door

so... is his girlfriend not here or did she bring her shoes to his room lol..

“hello?” you unconfidently called out to nobody in particular

no answer

you slipped your shoes off quietly and tiptoed towards the hallway that included both of your rooms across from eachother

the kitchen and living room looked untouched

to describe u being confused would be an understatement

you set your bag down on your bed and then made your way to heeseung.. just to check on him

you were genuinely so confused rn

you thought they would be cuddling on the couch or talking in his room or something but it was dead silent throughout the house

“heeseung?” you soft knocked on the door of his bedroom

surely he couldnt still be asleep.. it was noon on a monday and heeseung would normally be up by 10 because he said he would “start being a more productive man” as he said it

you always laughed at him because he used to wake up at like 3pm on days he didnt have class

anyways you didnt get an answer which was slightly concerning because you didnt forget to take note that you saw his car in the parking garage when you arrived

“i’m coming in” you called out to him before twisting the knob and pushing the door open

you realized you might be crossing a line and he’d get upset at you for invading his privacy but you were honestly worried for your friend

at first you didn’t see him

his room was empty, not a single person in sight

that is until you further examined the big lump on his bed

“heeseung? what...” you walked over to the lump that you only knew was him because you could see a bit of his hair peeking out from the top

“um.. am i interrupting something..” you awkwardly said, debating whether or not to go closer

he wasn’t saying anything so you guessed he was sleeping

how odd for him

you wanted to just check real quick and then you’d leave his room

so your feet padded softly against his wooden floor as you made your way over to him

and you bent down a little to kind of tug the huge blanket away from his face

as you got closer you also noticed his girlfriend wasnt here

the first thing you noticed was that he was definitely not asleep

your eyes widened and your hand instinctively went to his face to cup his cheek

“are you okay?! why are you crying?” you quickly asked, your eyebrows were furrowed in worry

in your months living with him you have never seen him show any emotional feelings in front of you and it almost made you panic

his eyes locked onto yours before he looked away from you and closed his eyes

he still hasnt said anything and you really didnt know what to do in this situation

you took your hand off his cheek before sighing

now you’re just sat on the side of his bed just looking at him.. wondering what to do

you were sure he wasn’t sleeping even though his eyes were shut and he wouldnt move

but you sat there for 5 minutes and he didnt seem to mind

“sora broke up with me”

he finally broke the silence

...

you didnt know what to say

you couldnt ask if he was okay when he obviously wasnt

“do you wanna talk about it? you looked over to heeseung to see him staring at you

“not really” he broke eye contact once again and looked up towards the ceiling

“later i will.. just not now” he breathed out

you nodded at that, understanding his situation

you felt terrible for the boy

his eyes were red and his voice was all nasally like he’d been crying

“i’ll leave you alone now..” you patted his big blanket fluff to lighten the mood and walked out his stuffy room

hours had passed while he was stuck in that room and you didnt know what to do��

it was 7pm already

you spent the day watching tv in the living room

but it was dinner time and you made ramen (his fav!!!) in hopes that he would come out of there

“heeseung you’ve gotta eat” you knock on his door again

you had told him to eat at 2 earlier but he insisted that he wasnt hungry

you were surprised when he instantly opened the door and your hand was still in midair as you were knocking

if your hand moved an inch you wouldve been knocking on his chest which you found very funny but you didnt think this was the right time for jokes

“hi” you looked up at him

he was wearing his purple beanie with sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt

he definitely looked better than he did this morning which you thanked god for

“hey” he gave u this look :]

“you okay? i made ramen.. can you smell it” you kinda giggled

“yeah, thanks” he tried to send you a small smile which you were thankful for

“okay well come eat because i worked very hard on it” you turned on your heels and went towards the tiny kitchen island with two seats

he followed you and sat next to you as you gave him his bowl and chopsticks

“bon appetit!” you clapped your hands before digging in

you were proud of urself ngl... the ramen was smacking

“thank you y/n” he said softly

you refused to admit it but he was.. So Cute

“no problem, just eat” you grinned

and you two ate in silence for a good 15 minutes

he said he would do the dishes after you were done which was relieving because you wanted to go jump in your bed and watch tiktoks very badly

there was a slight awkwardness in the air too so you wanted to let that cool off too

so now you were cuddled up in our bed with your phone very close, almost too close, to your face

and you could hear the sink running as heeseung washed the dishes

you silently prayed he was feeling better and that he would be over it soon

the sink turned off and you could hear his footsteps coming towards the hallway

what surprised you was that you heard knocks on your bedroom door

“can i come in?” he asked

“yeah its open” you replied

u had to get out of ur blanket cocoon :///

you watched him stride over to sit next you on your bed

he even got under the covers and laid down like dang lmao u getting comfy i guess

“whats up?” you were sitting up while he was laying on your pillows

“so.. she broke up with me last night” he spoke while hugging one of your plushies

oh OHH so this is what this is about

“oh.. are you feeling better now?”

“yeah i think.. we only dated for 4 months but i really liked her....”

“did she say why she did?” you asked

“she said she found someone else. i dont know if you know this but shes a year older than me and she told me she wasnt into younger guys which doesnt even make any sense because her ex was younger than her too and-”

“okay heeseung” you laugh “people are like that, you just gotta deal with it”

“yeah yeah, i know” he sighed “i dont know.. i dont know if im sad i lost her or if im sad over the fact that i dont have a girlfriend anymore”

“was she your first girlfriend?”

“me? y/n” he laughed “ive had plenty before”

“oh” you didnt even wanna ask

“why? have you never had a boyfriend or something?” he joked

“no....” you trailed off, unable to look him in the eye out of embarrassment

you were never even embarrassed about that but for some reason admitting it to heeseung made you shy

“what?! no way” he was actually shocked

“yes way now can we change the topic this is terrible” you roll your eyes and shove a plushie in his face

“awee little y/n” he teased you

“get out” you snickered

“okay okay fine.. but yeah i think i’ll be okay. she broke up with me as soon as she got here so all of my planning was for nothing. i think that was what devastated me the most, i had no one to eat with”

you wanted to yell I LITERALLY EXIST soooo bad

Why is he so stupid.......

“thats sad...” you said

you wanted to laugh at your reply bc what else could you say

“yeah anyways you dont have to worry about taking care of me while im sulking or whatever im cool now’

“well that was quick.. you were acting like a baby this morning now ur this tuff guy” you tease

“yeah yeah i dont even know why i was acting like that” his cheeks went pink

“im just kidding” you send a small smile his way “you know im always here for you right? dont be afraid to be a little emotional sometimes” you reach over to pat his head

“thanks y/n” he smiles “you’re a really great friend”

ouch

yeah.. friend

#enhypenwriters #enhypen imagines #enhypen #heeseung #enhypen x reader #heeseung x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen au #enhypen fic #enhypen reactions #heeseung imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen timestamps #enhypen drabbles #heeseung scenarios #kpop imagines #enhypen blurbs

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 3 years

Note

HELLO i’m back and i’m bringing some more concepts (sorry in advance if i repeat some btw 😭)

- ok so like imagine if yall went to a concert and like he would be DANCING SO HARD and u would basically whisper-shout bc it’s loud (lol) what the artist/band is doing on stage to him… he would be so grateful for that ????

- omg also can we PLS imagine him as a dad to be trying his veryyyy best to build a crib and like help decorate the room??? trips to ikea!!! and harry feeling material on blankets to see which is best for his bubba!

- speaking to dad to be harry… HIM AT A ULTRASOUND appointment!!!! y/n would count all the babies toes for him!!!!!!! and he would so sob when he finds out the gender 🥰 and would be holding ur hand so hand bc he’s so lucky ????

- ok wait this is a but random but i can imagine him being a best man one day for like his best friends wedding and you would whisper in his ear that he looked beautiful ( him with his suit and colourful tie HE picked out 🥲) and he would blush like crazy… also would defo dance with you all dance night… conga? yeah. chicken dance thing? he’s doing that for an hour straight… and hearing ur laugh?? hes DEAD.

- alsooooo night routines would be so cuteee!! he can hear you taking ur makeup off and would go to the counter of ur bathroom and sleepily ask if you could do his moisturiser or something… or he would sit on the counter and wait for you, ask abt ur day, would get some snacks for ur night movie or something. but random but hey ho!

- small dates are a must btw!!! walk on the pier? yup! just harry feeling the wind on this face makes him so happy! and he doesn’t feel self conscious around you or anything… and if someone gave him a funny look you would be SO close to punching them in the damnnn face!! he’s very lucky to have u lol

sorry if these are bad! it’s evening in the uk so i’m tired lol. watch me come back tomorrow 💞 have a lovely day and hope u like these lol!!!!!! xxx

NO THESE ARE SO GOOD OH MY GOD

I NEED TO TAKE A WHILE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF THEM AND WRITE A GOOD CHUNK FOR ALL OF THEM SO I WILL EDIT THIS LATER AND TAG YOU ONCE I RESPOND TO IT ALLLLL!!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺

Okay they are done babyyyy @sunflowerstyles-6

Concert:

“oh my god, Harry he just fell!” Y/n giggles, watching the concert they caught at last minute. They didn’t even really know the band but they have heard a few songs and the band wasn’t very well known so pit tickets were pretty cheap. “What?!” Harry asks, stilling his dance moves and snapping his head toward his girlfriend. Y/n laughs loudly, “He almost fell off of the stage!” Y/n giggles, clinging to Harry. “Is he okay?!”

y/n nods, kissing harrys cheek. “Keep on dancing, baby! I want to get some videos of you!” Y/n yells over the music, pulling away from his and stepping back to take videos of his crazy head banging and jumping.

Building a crib:

“Honey, it’s okay. I can get someone else to build it.” Y/n says, rubbing her eight month bump while standing in the nursery that belongs to their second baby. “Hush, lovie. I’ve got this. Just let me take my time.” He says, growing frustrated with his pregnant wife but he still kept a smile on his face while talking to her.

“Okayyy, I’m going to watch ******. Yell for me if you need us.” She says, letting her man do what he needed to do.

Soon enough Harry yells her name, Y/n was selling up the stairs with their first born. She smiles while she leans against the door frame, breathless from hauling her big belly up the stairs. “You did it, baby.” She smiles, patting his cheek. “So proud of you.”

Yeah… you guys don’t get to know the name until a blurb comes out 😎 me also using they/ them pronouns so you don’t know the gender yet HAHAHAH

Ultrasound:

“Bubby, stay on my lap.” Harry whispers to his baby, hugging them while their mummy gets an ultrasound. “Okay… one second and I’ll be able to tell you the sex!” The woman standing in pink scrubs smiles, rubbing the wand over Y/n’s swollen belly.

“Okay, you’ve got a (YOU WISH YOU KNEW HAHAHAHA) in your belly!” The kind lady announces with a warm, excited smile on her face. Y/n jaw drop while Harry and ****** squeal. “ANOTHER?” Y/n cries, making Harry giggle. “Hush, you are gonna love it, baby.”

Best man:

“Don’t be nervous, silly.” Y/n giggles to her fiancé while she fixes his bow tie. They were at Harry’s best friends wedding. Mitch and Sarah had gotten engaged just a couple months before Harry and Y/n had, Harry now being his best man and Mitch going to their wedding as harrys best man.

“Hush it! I’ve got to walk in-front of all of those people.” Harry whisper yells, pointing to the door where people are slowly trickling in behind.

“Baby.” Y/n says, grabbing his face and looking straight into his eyes- he can instantly senses the eye contact and it makes his cheeks burn. “You look fucking beautiful. You are a dream. After the ceremony is over we are gonna go dance out asses off, and have the time of our lives. You aren’t Gonna have a worry in your mind so don’t get worked up now.” She says, hushing him with a firm kiss to his lips before he can even speak. “Thank you,” he cups her jaw. “I needed that.”

Soon enough Harry is screaming at the top of his lungs while doing the cha-cha slide- his suit jacket slipped off and shirt almost completely unbuttoned.

Night routine:

“Are y’ taking off your makeup, beautiful?” Harry asks from the bed, his voice tired and croaky. Y/n nods from the sink in the bathroom- “yup!” Harry groans, rubbing over his face. “Come take mine off, beauty.”

Y/n laughs at her husband, rolling her eyes while she pats her face dry with a towel. “Baby, you don’t wear makeup!” She yells back, stepping into the door way between their bathroom and bedroom. “Yeah but… come make me pretty. Wanna talk to you.” Y/n rolls her eyes but grabs a sheet mask and other things to doll up her husband nonetheless.

“You don’t need this, you’re pretty enough.” She says, swinging a leg over him and straddling his hips while he relaxes his head down into his pillow while she slides the slimy mask onto his face. “Yeah, yeah. How was your day?”

“It was fine, ****** was a little crazy today, but they went down so good for me during nap time.” Y/n hums. Harry smiles, “good.”

“How the company going?” Y/n giggles on-top of her husband, watching him lips form back into a smile. “It was good, sales are still going up!”

“Was it a good day?”

“Never when I’m away from you.”

Small date- at the fair!:

“No, H, come on! Give me a pretty face.” Y/n giggles, trying to take a Polaroid of him while he makes silly faces, pulling at his cheeks and lips to make himself look crazy. “Okay, okay, I swear. This one I will smile.” Harry makes a pretty face, closing his eyes while he smiles, pulling up his shoulders shyly while he does it. “Awe, you are so pretty.” Y/n coos at her fiancé,. Pulling up the camera to her eye.

As soon as the photo is shot harry is switching poses and shoving his corn dog into his mouth like a mad man. “Damn it Harry!” Y/n yells at her fiancé, making her erupt into giggles, almost making himself fall on the ground.

OKAYYY THATS ALL I HAVE :)

I realized that I spoiled that part about Harry eventually starting his own company… at least you don’t know what the company is 😭

#ask #blind!harry #blind!harry concept #my love 😩

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tooruluv · 4 years

Text

Tobio Kageyama x F!Reader ( part 3 )

❝ goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished, but the book is closed. tell me, have we started a new one? ❞

description: it had been years since you and kageyama broke up. it had been years since the two of you left each other, hatred brewing. fate works in funny ways, you thought, as you caught his eye across the café. love works in funny ways, you thought, as you woke up in his bed the next morning, his fiance calling his phone.

genre: forbidden love, cheating, ex lovers, (all characters are aged up)

word count: 1,724

warnings/notes: strong language, cheating, lowkey toxic relationship. but what else is new? this one doesn’t have anything crazy

tag list: @kara-grayson04 @sadhwstudent @unlikelytigerqueen @kageyamavibes

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“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Tobio Kageyama stood there, only in sweats, and shrugged. He shrugged. You were about to throw something, hit him with anything, when he spoke. This wasn’t the worst fight the two of you had ever been in, but it was definitely up there.

Because this time, it was you doing most of the yelling. “Hana? Out of everyone? Out of everyone? Are you fucking serious?”

The day you told Kageyama that you were leaving. That day had been the last time you and Kageyama talked. Or, rather, he talked.

It was something you knew for a really long time. Your parents had received a job in the states and you had held off telling him that you were going for as long as you could. Until you couldn’t anymore.

Makeup running down your face, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. And he stood in front of you.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Because you couldn’t bare the thought of telling him. Because you couldn’t look at his face when you said you were going to be gone. Because you didn’t know how he would react. Because you didn’t want to go.

But, despite all of those reasons, you said, “I was scared.”

“You were scared to tell me?”

“Yeah.”

You were literally standing at the airport. In front of the door, your plane ready to take off in two hours. When you said you waited until last second, you truly did.

“You were scared? You waited months. Months.”

“I know I did.” You reached forward but he stepped back. More tears fell down your face. “I just… I just couldn’t think of a way to tell you. I love you so much and I… I didn’t want to say goodbye.”

“How’s this for goodbye,” Kageyama barely blinked. “I hate you.”

Your body seized. Hana, who stood beside you, took your hand but you didn’t feel it. Your entire being fell numb.

“You let me believe we had more time. You let me stay with you, fall in love with you, all when you knew. You knew that you were leaving. And you didn’t tell me for months. I hate you.”

“I hate you.” You would hate him, too, if it was the other way around.

“Babe!”

You stood at the door to the gym, a bag of food for your boyfriend. He had been so preoccupied trying to master this move for volleyball and hadn’t spent much time with him, so you figured you would leave him some food for that break he takes between practice ending and his own practice (which means several hours with Hinata after everyone left).

The entire team turned to face you. Tobio Kageyama’s face flushed.

He rushed to you, long strides pulling him across the gym. Over his shoulder, two of the boys followed.

“Hey, uh,” Kageyama was awkward. It made you giggle. “What’re you doing here?”

“I brought you some food.” You handed him the bag, and a bottle of water just in case. “You didn’t eat lunch today and I wanted to make sure you at least had a little bit.”

“Kageyama, who is this?” one of the boys, the shorter one, asked as the other one, the tall bald one, said “You didn’t tell us you had a girlfriend!”

“Hi!” you smiled and waved at them.

The team introduced themselves, and you smiled at all of them. Kageyama may have been your boyfriend, but he wasn’t one to introduce you to friends. Or, rather, teammates. Daichi, the captain, even started to lecture your boyfriend on his lack of eating.

“I had milk…” he mumbled.

“Listen, it isn’t what you think.” Is all Kageyama said. Of course it was all he said.

“It isn’t what I think?” you scoffed, looking to the ceiling. “We broke up and you’re marrying my best friend. It’s exactly what I think.”

“Your best friend that you haven’t talked to in five years.”

“Two.”

“What?”

“Two years. I haven’t talked to her in two years.” You were pissed. Maybe a good old catch up with Hana would make things up, maybe punching her in her stupid perfect teeth would make the nausea in your stomach go away. “And it’s because she stopped talking to me.”

“I don’t get why you’re mad at me.” He was just as pissed, and he probably had way more pent up anger at you. “Maybe if you actually put effort into things, you wouldn’t be in this position.”

“Maybe if I put an effort into things? You’re fucking ridiculous.”

“Yes, if you put an effort into things. Maybe if you fucking talked to people, maybe if you stayed, maybe if you…”

“You know what? I don’t want to hear you tell me what to do or what I should’ve done when you’re the one who cheated on your fiancé.”

“Crazy how you’re this mad when you’re the mistress.”

You grabbed a couch pillow and threw it at him. It was the closest thing you could grab. You wanted a glass, or a plate. Maybe that fake potted plant in the corner will go next.

“You’re such a dick!” you yelled, getting ready to throw another pillow.

Somehow, he reached you before you could throw it. He caught your hands with his wrists, stopping you. You were breathing heavy.

“You know, I thought running into you would give some closure.” Kageyama said. His voice was low, calm, collected. “I thought that maybe, this was it and it was one final time to get the last of the feelings out of my system.”

“Yeah, me too.” You stared into his eyes. They were just as blue as when you left. “Guess we were both wrong.”

You ripped your arms out of his grasp. He let you.

“Marrying Hana. My best friend.” You were standing further away, but you could still feel his breath. “That’s probably lower than anything I’ve ever done to you.”

And you left. You turned around, snatched your bag, and left. As the elevator closed, you watched him watch you.

Hana was the one who hugged you before you left. She was the last one, other than your family, to see you. She held your head, pulled you to her body, let you cry on her shoulder until they called your plane.

She was your best friend.

While you were in the states, she would facetime you. Call you. Text you updates.

The day you left, she texted you. She kept her end of the deal, too.

hana <3: told tsuki today hana <3: we kissed!! basically i was nervous for no reason lol

you: omg omg omg congrats! at least one of us is having a good time hfksbfsksl

hana <3: don’t worry ab boys. ur gonna have so much fun and meet new people. im always here 4 u.

“I’m on my way over.” You spoke into the phone, hands still shaking with withheld anger.

“You sound pissed. Can’t wait.”

The first time you and Kageyama kissed was a little bit into the relationship. It was a couple of months in, and he asked you to go for a walk with him.

“A walk?” you asked, looking around your room for a fitting outfit. “It’s early. And it’s Saturday.”

“I know. I’m outside of your house. Meet me outside whenever you’re ready.”

“You’re insane. Give me five.”

That week, you spent time with Oikawa. Your stomach flipped with the idea that Kageyama had finally had enough of you hanging out with him, or maybe he was going to tell you that he was jealous again. You didn’t know, but an early morning walk with your boyfriend didn’t sound very relaxing.

Cautiously, you met him on your porch. He greeted you with a simple nod, hands in his pockets.

“Um, before we begin, can I say something?” he asked.

You nodded. A jolt through your entire body.

“I know that I complain a lot. And I know that I… I know that I’m not very good with feelings.” He was talking slowly. Practiced. “But I want you to know that even though you spend time with Oikawa, I know that he’s your best friend and I just get jealous. And I want you to know that I know you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” You confirmed.

“So, I wanted to do this before we started walking.”

And, with that, he leaned down and kissed you. It was a small kiss, a peck to your lips, and he had to bend down to do so. But you felt everything lift off of your shoulders. You were flying.

When he pulled back, he smiled. Genuinely. You did, too.

“Now, I think a walk is in order.” You looped your arm through where he still held his in his pockets.

Oikawa opened the door, tilting his head at the sight of you. You stood in his doorway, very obviously stressed out and face red with both tears and yelling. You had your hood up, hair still messy from the night.

“You look like you just got done having the best dick ever.” He joked.

You rushed forward, capturing his lips with yours. He staggered back, gripping your hips as you closed the door with your ankle. He didn’t hesitate to kiss you back. You were chest to chest, your hands on his shoulders and standing on your toes.

He pulled away to ask, “So we’re doing this again?”

“I’m pissed off.” You kissed him again. Your hands held the waistband of his jeans. “I’m in dire need of a very big distraction.”

“I’m not complaining.” Oikawa grabbed your jaw and pulled you in again.

295 notes · View notes

animatedrapture · 3 years

Note

I HAVE GASOLINE LAYING AROUND IN MY HOUSE AND IM OMW TO SET KANA ON FIRE :))))

ok im about to compile possibly like 10 chapters worth of kana hate KJHLDSDJS

so. sorry i wasnt able to respond to so manyyyyyy of these on time and all, i get overwhelmed super easily but i truly, truly love all of you and appreciate each msg :DD these have all either made me think real hard LMFOAHJSKD or had me laughing so hard and gasping lmfao. but yeah, i appreciate all of these and everything i mightve never gotten bc tumblr asks is dumb as well as the ones ive still yet to come back to or answer. almost each and every single one of these have been a guidance with what i wanted to do with the smau, whenever i wanted to switch something up or make something better in the smau, your msgs helped a lot in improving it in some way and helping me figure out what i truly wanted to do with the smau and for that, thank u!!!

Anonymous asked:

FUCK KANA ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER HANA SPILLED HER DRINK ON HER? SHE DID THE RIGHT THING ALSO FUCK SUNA BC EVEN UF HE HAD SEX WITH YN AND SAID HE ADORES HER HIS ACTIONS/AFFECTION TOWARDS KANA GIVES MIXED SIGNALS AND ITS TIME HE GET ACCOUNTABLE OF SAID ACTIONS sorry for the rant 🥴

Anonymous asked:

the “tw kana” absolutely sent me into orbit i cackled 😭

Anonymous asked:

anons bonding over kana hate🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻

Anonymous asked:

yeah its only you who doesn't dislike her FGHDJGKUJ IM KIDDING no but really more than hate her its hate the way shes in between like it pisses me off the cockblock she is 😭😭

Anonymous asked:

if i were kana,,,i would either tell him i still have feelings OR hurt in silence (step back) since technically he or should i say they decided to be JUST bestfriends not cockblocking the possibility for him to be in a relationship

Anonymous asked:

kana has to make a choice: she confess or shut the fuck up bc as far as we know they decided to be just bff (highkey think suna was more into being just friends and kana kinda lied) so IF he likes someone else why the fuck try to sabotage him (his happiness with someone else) when he find it out then what? would he still keep her as a friend? 🧐

Anonymous asked:

What if I just...shift or whatever you guys call it, into As Friends universe...and bonk Kana on the head...lol just kidding...ah ha ha ha No please she is starting to sound like the girl best friend that would make couples break up because she does not care about boundaries...honey, you're the best friend, yes, you're important, but that's his girlfriend...stay in your lane. Lol like "I don't want to confess" but "He's mine so I have to get rid of all competitions" lol fucking clown yeah no, I don't have to wait for you to write more about her to make me hate her sksksksksk I already do

Anonymous asked:

Ayo istg kana's been giving y/n the stinky eye... if she stares at y/n like that one more time LAWD HELP HER SOUL, im coming for her eyes!!! But fr,, Rin better treat y/n right and put kana in her place. Bc y/n got a best friend too (samu) u^u and he can cook and would treat her good.

Anonymous asked: likE I KEEP SAYING eAT SHIT KANA

Anonymous asked: I am CRAVING IMMENSE VIOLENCE bring that girl kana here lemme knock her teeth down her throat. >:(

Anonymous asked:

kana (derogatory)

Anonymous asked:

istg if a bus doesn’t hit kana i’m gonna do it

Anonymous asked:

kana toxic best friend it’s time for suna to realise IT 😤😤

Anonymous asked:

kana has family problems only rin knows about? what in the ao haru ride manga 😐

Anonymous asked:

WHY KANA FUKC

Anonymous asked:

NAH MY GUT FEELING TELLING ME KANA WAS BAD NEWS SINCE THE BEGINNING also she wants suna all to herself (he sees her as a bff) but doesn’t say shit to him... if course he’s gonna find someone in the future whether in college or after (unless the bitch will still to his ass even when he goes pro)

Anonymous asked:

everyday i wake up with notifs from u i feel like im about to get subjected to pain and IM RIGHT THIS TIME TOO what the hell kana u will never be yn (me) 🙏🏼🧇

Anonymous asked:

bro part of me wants to punch suna so bad bc like hes so awkward but so smooth like who tf do u want stop being a smooth ass mf u know these two bitches like u

Anonymous asked: i might just obliterate everyone named kana cause of as friends THE WHOLE TIME MY EYE WAS TWITCHING CAUSE OF HER FUCK KDDSKDLSDK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO OBLITERATE HER SAY "I" but like hi! i hope youre well

Anonymous asked:

even tho u always insist you'd never het mad at me girl HUHH i used to be genuinely good w kana now she's just a manipulative bitch :// kana babe sorry but ur best friend is allowed to spend time with other people 🙄

xmyshya asked:

I 👏 love 👏 Hana 👏 Also 👏 fuck 👏 Kana 👏 and Rin you idiot, what do you mean he's not gonna pursue dating T_T it's just a few chapters till the end T_T wut T_T

yourstarvic asked:

Kana needs to back up before she gets beat up 😤 me and my homies ain’t playing no more 😤

Anonymous asked:

omg that ur probably mad (even tho u said u’d never get mad at me!) broooo

Anonymous asked:

kana gonna get even more territorial in the next chapters im getting kinda scared to see how rin reacts 😒 shes gonna lowkey (highkey) manipulate rin like oh u said youll never leave me you said i come first and all that mhmmm girl dont make me break your neck 👎🏼👎🏼

Anonymous asked:

huh so is kana basically a pick me girl

Anonymous asked:

“you’d be selfish abt this” girl

Anonymous asked:

why tf kana gotta ask yn bro u don't know her just ask suna directly 🙄 putting her in an awkward ass position how's she supposed to say no i'm sorry kana's being annoying as hell rn

Anonymous asked:

it’s time for kana to realise: - yn aint just a fling bc suna is spending more time with her - suna clearly sees her just as his bff

Anonymous asked:

Kana saying "I was worried you'd be selfish about this haha" well bitch now I gotta be 😒

Anonymous asked:

“i was worried you’d be selfish about this hahaha” -the one who’s for the streets kana better watch herself…y/n was being kind, i will not be

Anonymous asked:

DID KANA REALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK US?????? TO POSTPONE OUR PLANS WITH RIN???? pls that « you understand, right? » was just so manipulative oh my god-

Anonymous asked:

kana can go cry & write to her diary about it 😘😘

Anonymous asked:

“y/n right?” after literally meeting her plssss

Anonymous asked:

miss kana is just gonna have to miss him a little more bc i'm not canceling SHIT!!

Anonymous asked:

kana is playing chess while we’re playing checkers

Anonymous asked:

everytime you post and kana gets fucked over my day is made and it all I'm going to think about

Anonymous asked:

im catching up on as friends bc i havent read a few chapters and kana saying “arent you just with yn” made me extra angry go trip down some stairs kana

Anonymous asked:

u made my week with the update 😭🖤 i hate kana sfm lol

Anonymous asked:

kana suffering either way the story goes? I'm in -🦄

Anonymous asked:

kana n suna need to grow up lowkey it’s very highschool

Anonymous asked:

WHOEVER SENT THIS I AM CHOOSING VIOLENCE who's in, let's go beat kana-🦄

Anonymous asked:

hELL YEAAHH GET FUCKED KANA /neg

#wait im adding more i just #it noncon posted KLDHSKJDD #;bubble #smau ; as friends #tw kana #this is gonna be like the tw kana hall of fame post LKJDSHKDJS

9 notes · View notes

your-local-bnha-writer · 4 years

Note

Hello ur my favorite account😭! Can I request a HC with Tanaka, Noya, Tsuki, & Kageyama where u guys are dating but at a tournament, u run into ur ex boyfriend ( who is a huge douchebag) and is saying a bunch of garbage about u? How would they react? , how would it impact their playing style cause get this- karasuno is playing against ur ex boyfriends team🤭🤭🤭🤭

jealous bfs tanaka, noya, tsukki kags,

hey I’m gonna mash these two requests! I hope you enjoy this was a lot of fun to write!

also favourite account?? me?? 🥺🥺

➣ characters included : tanaka, noya, tsukki, kageyama (separately) x fem!reader

�� headcannons

➣ warning : a lot of swearing 😳 like there’s a lot, your jerk ex talking crap, scary bfs

ryūnosuke tanaka

- karasuno had made it to the nationals, and right before their game against Tsubakihara, lil ol Tanaka had to use the bathroom

- a horrible decision really, just ask hinata

- he walks in and hears your trash ex talking crap abt you

“Yeah, can you believe it? I saw my ex here, Y/n. I think she’s the manager for her team? Karasuno. Is she really that desperate for attention from other guys?”

- Tanaka is p i s s e d like, no one gets to talk about his precious love without experiencing the wrath from Ryūnosuke Tanaka

- So mans just straight up walks to your ex, “gently” taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and starts defending your honour

“Y/n? Y/n L/n? The most beautiful, gorgeous, precious girl in the world? That Y/n?”

“Uh, yeah? Who are y—”

“Hi I’m the new boyfriend, and let me just tell you...”

- Tanaka goes oFF he’s not letting this douche bag of an ex get his way, he straight up just goes on a 2 hours speech about how perfect you were

- and how much of a douche your ex was

- Eventually, Hinata finds Tanaka in the bathroom (since his stomach was actin up lol) and goes to alert the other guys + you

- So, the whole gang is here, Daichi and Suga have to drAG Tanaka away from your ex while Noya hypes him up

- You have to calm him down and ask him why the hell he was yelling at someone in the bathroom

“Your ex was talking shit about you, I’m not just gonna let them do that”

- You’re immediately like 🥺🥺 Tanakaaaa you didn’t have to do that omg I love you sm

- When it’s finally time play these guys Tanaka is surprisingly calm, like it’s actually terrifying

- Oh and you bet Tanaka’s going all out he is on fire, he’s landing every spike and you can practically hear the impact on it

- Right after he lands a spike he celebrates with his team and stares directly at your ex who’s shooketh 😳

“Yeah take that! You regret breaking up with Y/n now?”

“Tanaka stOoOoP omg—”

- After Karasuno wins he gives you the most passionate kiss, in front of your ex and you pull away blushing

- Your ex just rolls his eyes and goes to pack up with his team while Tanaka’s looking all smug and Noya’s hyPED

yuu nishinoya

- The boys were getting ready for the match against Johzenji, and were just doing some basic warmups

- You had to help Kyoko and Yachi with something so you weren’t in the gym at the moment

- But your asshole of an ex was talking shit about you, very loudly 😳 and very obnoxiously too

- This mf, instead of practicing and doing fricken warmups, he’s talking crap abt you, and you weren’t even in the vicinity!

- But your boyfriend was, oh and he heard everything, every single word that came out of you ex’s mouth

“Pfft yeah she’s still annoying as ever, not surprised she’s dating the dude that’s 5’2”

- Ohh big mistake bud, not only did you insult his perfect Gf, but his height as well? Like dang pick one or the other dude

- So, Noya can’t take it anymore he’s been holding back bc he’s supposed to be warming up for the game but at this point he just couldn’t

- He straight up runs over to the other side of the gym to knock some sense into the jerk

- Tanaka follows not to stop him (although he is a bit worried 😳) but to hype him up bc that’s his best friend’s gf you don’t get to do that

- Asahi is scared shitless so Ennoshita has to keep the horny tornado in check, while Suga is conflicted

“What the hell did you say? Don’t you dare insult Y/n again! This is why she left your sorry ass! Who are you talk shit about my beautiful girlfriend I’ll fight you right now—”

- Ahem well, as you can see he’s very pissed off and uh he ends up getting scolded by coach Ukai

- except at the very end of him scolding he gives noya a few pointers on how to defend your gf without showing bad sportsmanship

- You witness the whole thing and just go up to Noya to calm him down a little

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to go off like that,”

“Yeah I did, Im not letting that douche talk shit about my crazy hot girlfriend”

- noya stop this isn’t the time 😳🥵

- During the game he is extremely focused and there’s this terrifying aura that’s escaping him

- Like Asahi might actually shit his pants just standing next to him

- Karasuno absolutely destroys Johzenji bc Noya is not letting that ball drop on their side of the court

- After the game, like Tanaka Noya straight up kisses you in front of your ex, leaving you a blushing mess as Noya gives him a smug look

kei tsukishima

- aHEM um, alright get ready folks bc this is a scary one

- So it’s Kagugawa vs Karasuno and Yamaguchi is sort of wandering around with Hinata right before the game probably to try and cool their nerves 💀💀

- When they hear your someone talking abt you

“My ex is here we’re vs her team, I know yeah, she’s probably so annoying”

- Dude Yamaguchi and Hinata have never ran faster in their entire lives, they immediately go to tsukki and it’s just a scream fest

“TSUKKI THERES SOMEONE TALKING ABT Y/N!”

“yeAH!! and he was all like ‘she’s probably so annoying’”

“mHM AND—”

“okay I think I got it, where are they?”

- shits about to go down, when Tsukki gets mad, he doesn’t lose is cool, instead he keeps a level head and strategize on how to completely destroy his opponent

- so Yams and Hinata drag him to where your ex was and point him out, and he’s stILL on the phone

“Mhm, yeah she’s super annoying”

- Oh Tsukki is pissed off, he has this intimidating aura coming from him as he approaches the dude that’s shitting on you

“You’re the ex? Yikes...😬”

- Tsukki will wait for what he has to say and the whole time he just has the biggest smirk on his face, like it’s about to go down

- Yams and Sho are hyped uP but they’re waiting behind the door bc they’re babies and they’re scared

- Mm Tsukki does not hold back, he straight up roasts this dudes ass, mans just releases all the salt that’s stored in him

“Mhm yeah, that’s pretty pathetic”

“Heh lame”

“Wow...I can’t believe she really dated you”

- Yeah that’s not that much salt

- Tanaka find the three of them in the bathroom and as much as he wants Tsukki to keep going, they have to get ready for the game

- During the game, your ex tries to spike and he’s instantly shut down my Tsukki and his 6’3 ass, It’s quite hilarious 😌

- Anyways, Tsukki blocks your ex every single time wiTH A SMIRK, mans is not holding back on this bitch

- He says it’s bc he was predictable

- Later, Karasuno beats Kagugawa and Tsukki hardcore glares at your ex like it’s pretty scary since Tsukki is one to act all sassy rather than mad when he gets irritated

“You don’t talk shit about her, ever”

- SUDHDJD DAMN TSUKKI CHILLL

- You watch all of this happen and you immediately ask your boyfriend if something was wrong bc you’re a tad bit worried

“We just had a disagreement that’s all”

“uHH YEAH RIGHT TSUKKI WENT OFF EARLIER IN THE BATHROOM—”

tobio kageyama

- Um another scary bitch please do not talk trash about his gf when he’s around

- He’s probably filing his nails away from his team bc he needs his peace and quiet and doesn’t wanna get bullied by Hinata and Tsukki

- When he hears a guy talking very loudly to his friend, now usually he’d ignore them or move spots but like this dude is talking abt you

- So, he stays for a bit and listens to what he has to say. Who even is this dude? Why does he know you? Why is talking to loud like please shut the f—

“Pfft yeah my ex is here with her volleyball team, I talked to her earlier and oh my god she’s exactly the same when I first dated her”

- I’m not sure if that’s a roast sorry I’m bad at these

- Oh now Kags is pissed, see he was already a little irked that this jerk was your ex but he was also talking trash abt you? Nahh

- He throws his nail file on the ground and stomps right up to this douche to smack some sense in him

“Yeah she’s hella annoy—”

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?”

“Who tf—��

- So Kageyama is also unusually “calm” about the whole situation which makes it even more terrifying

- Kageyama will most likely go off and tell this dude that he has no business talking abt his gf like that

- he’ll focus more on dissing the dude and let me tell you this dude’s roasts h u r t

- like his insults are like 90% swear words

“goblin lookin ass”

“long titty no nipple lookin ass”

“get outta here you abominable fuck waffle”

- Imagine this scary ass dude coming up to you, telling you to shut the fuck up, then realizing this is Tobio Kageyama, The King of the Court, the incredible setter that has precise aim, the 2nd half of the freak duo, going off on how you should stfu abt his gf

- oh and you’re facing him on your next game

- and he absolutely obliterates your sorry ass

- his sets are perfect, he blocks every single fuckin spike you make, and when you think he’s going setting to #10 think again bc he will do a setter dump

- basically he’s on fire and tear the other team to shreds it’s kind of scary actually, hinata was sweating buckets when kageyama served since he looked so terrifying at the moment

- after the game, kageyama would want to leave immediately he doesn’t want to see your ex anymore

“You doing okie? Did something happen with you and him before the game?”

“Yep, but it’s nothing don’t worry about it”

- kags you have that creepy smile again stop you’re scaring y/n

253 notes · View notes

abloomingperiod · 4 years

Text

baekhyun as a bf

it wasn’t supposed to be this big tbh

you can tell by the fucker’s face, he is annoying af

k seriously tho

even though byun is all smiles and pranks he definitely seems like a serious person on the personal side

constantly asking himself if it’s the right thing to do putting u in such a historically brutal position such as dating an idol

you having to reassure him way too often that it was your decision to make, not his

“sweetie i’m here because i want to stop going off” “cool but like are you su-” “dude i swEAR TO GOD”

it’s not something he likes thinking it just happens okay he’s worried b patient to the babee

since his last relationship didn’t end up very well, he would probably take mONTHS to actually claim you as his girlfriend

seriously tho i fume just thinking about that time

it happened on a friday night when he was playing on the pc, chanyeol was calling and babyboi was like “srry cant talk rn exchanging breaths with my girl”

you were scrunching your nose for a sec but them you realized what he said and were like !!!!

him enjoying the fact his words got you so flustered and playing it cool like chill out dude as if you didn’t know we were dating by now

????????? in fact ou were so surprised bcs u didn’t even know the boys knew abt ur existence

“like... they KNOW??????”

“of cOURSE they know junmyeon would kick my ass if i didn’t explain to him why i missed our dinner last night”

you guys are so comfortable with the fact your relationship ain’t official you decided at the same night thisbis how you prefered to stay like

he’s not okay with going public after what happened in the past and you agree and support his desire to keep it private

i could write a whole essay dissing saesangs

that doesn’t mean he won’t hang out with you

after all, you’ve been friends for ages now

and the boys know abt u

chanyeol keeps biting byun’s butt but you’re okay with that

was there any other option? ofc not

talking about ass

he’s one

honestly such a tease

always finding a way to make u flustered

“babe look at me” “what” “i love you” “god i love you too” “and your ass looks amazing today” “leave me alone”

always slaps your butt

doesn’t matter the context

sexual or not

he loves him some butt

lol dates

like literally you sit there and spend the night playing and eating together

every lol date is a different dish ordered

since you gotta keep it low profile

might as well do it right

he’s an observer

constantly stops what he’s doing to admire you

sometimes you’re like watching a movie or idk brushing ur teeth

he stands there in the door frame all dumbfounded burning loveholes into your skull

you’re like ...stop it

he’s like . no

he’s so emotional i’m not even exaggerating

keeps joking around when he’s around people and everybody seems to think he’s a dork who just can’t stop talking nonsense

(which he is)

but when you guys are alone

oh boy

he’s so sensible

literally writes on post-its and places it around your apartment before he leaves for practice on mornings

not all of them are cute tho

once your friend was like “hey y/n idcwho’s dicking you down but i think the person got the feels”

you completely forgot to take off the “your taste already left my mouth. dinner tonight at 8 and i’ll be eating twice” post-it

he literally put it in your refrigerator’s door

you legit wanted to die

but then on other days it’s like

“i promised, throughout my whole life, this heart belongs to you.”

honestly so intense

when you guys argue it’s like a conquest to see who can act more like a spoiled kid

but basically go off with your frustrations and then one of u ends up cooling off in the shower

later either you or him get in there too asking if the other is feeling better

tbh not that often do u guys fight

most of the times is like

“okay,,, this is unnecessary” “yeah screw it”

but sometimes it gets really heated

and you’re both frustrated

straightforward speaking, you guys have sex

very

rough

sex

he’s a switch k let’s be real

loves making you beg

loves begging for you

not the type to degrade or hurt you or anything

like he’s a light dom

and by that i mean he will pound in you rough and slow until you’re begging him to let you cum but keeps kissing your flushed cheeks and tightly intertwining your hands as he lovingly whispers “you fucking love those type of fights don’t you”

loves LOVES being blindfolded

lowkey a freak but moderately

absolutely loves it when he ties you up and makes you say exactly what you want

will always stuck two or three fingers in so you have a hard time speaking

as i was saying, the absolute worst

“baekhyun... please-“ “fucking say it” “please... baby... fuck me” “hard nut”

is shamelessly vocal

groans

whimpers

desperate moans

aftercare baekhyun is a look

his hair all disheveled, dazed eyes and flushed lips

yk that look from the city lights photoshoot with his glossy skin and damp hair

yeah

he loves you so much and seeing you all blissed out after sex makes him, curiously, very very soft

everything you guys said during the argument is quickly forgotten as you exchange a few sorry’s and deep kisses in between

loves feeling your skin against his as he embraces your shoulders hugging you to his chest

you leave pecks on the scratchings your nails did on his skin and he just lays there all fucked out and smiles like 💕💞💓💘💘💖💗💞💓💗💕💝💘💖💕💞💓💗💗💞💖💘💞💘💖

and he’s horny again

it’s not like he’s a teenager he just absolutely loves being this intimate to you

and then you have a bath together bcs sticky

loves making coffee like at 6am to you so he can wake you up and have breakfast together

the type to wake you in this worst way possible

he rips the sheets off of you

regardless of how cold it is at that hour

and jumps over

“wake up egg”

as you guys head to the kitchen he sits you on his lap and feeds you :(

his arms around your waist and keeps leaving tiny pecks on your cheeks as he rests his cheek on your back and heavily sighs

“ya your breath stinks”

“you stink dummy”

sings ballads out of the blue

you’re like reading or smth

and he’s like

appado gWAENCHANHA

“shut it or i’ll rip off your chords with my bare hands”

“i dare you”

you actually made out after you chased him around the couch

so annoyingly dense

like you were taking your clothes off

his lips on your neck

and then he’s like

“btw my mother wants to meet you”

you literally froze

bra slipping off your shoulders

“????? you mother kNOWS?????”

“ofc she knows she’s my mother wtf”

“!!!!!!!!!BAEKHYUN”

doesn’t understand the concept of Time And Place

once you were on the bathtub massaging his feet after hours of practice and he was like yo ever thought about kids

i ran out of reactions so basically you cursed at him for five minutes

he was like 🥺🥺 just saying srry

it took you more five to explain to him it wasn’t that you hated kids you just thought it was something to talk about on another time

five years another time

maybe ten

he was like k we can have a dog

and now you have a dog together along with mongryong

a cutie called jinx

don’t ask

fucking nerd

you were like

she’s new so treat her as kindly as mongryong

baekhyun is a pain in the ass but in a matter of hours he was like

i bought the same clothes for them

you rolled your eyes but silently got the heart eyes bcs cute

loves watching you dressing yourself

especially for your low profile dates

“hm no too hard to take off”

“...a monochromatic two piece with a zipper in the skirt?”

“my point exactly”

tbh he Is kinda horny

but that’s bcs he’s mad for you

loves it when you style his hair

“baekhyun can’t you stand still for like two minutes” “oh sorry”

you’re standing there, focused on the task

30 secs on it and his hands are already caressing your tummy

you’re like stop i’m bUSY

he’s like no one’s stopping you

but keeps tickling you

idk he really treasures those tiny little details in the moments you spend together

everything is important to him

doesn’t mean he’s like insanely needy of your attention

no you’re two individuals who have their own lives and schedules

he keeps it cool but yeah he’s bananas for you

sorry his words

everything is so domestic with him

and so good

he’s been through a lot throughout the years and this relationship is the calmness he needed

and he’s the fun and lightness you needed after spending so much time trying and acting like a “grownup”

baekhyun brings back the teenager in you

but in a good way

you complete each other so well sigh

cuz you’re like all responsible and shit

he loves the juxtaposition

so do you

idk it feels right

you love like teenagers but live like adults

also his words

#maybe im biased #byun baekhyun scenario #baekhyun imagine #exo imagines #baekhyun drabble #baekhyun exo

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taurusjaehyun · 5 years

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just a little bit of your heart // j.jh

♦Pairing: Jaehyun x fem reader

♦Other Members/ Characters: Johnny, Taeyong, Doyoung, Hyuck, Ten, Jisoo, Rose and Mingyu

♦Genre: ANGST!!!

♦Warnings: unrequited love, mentions of smut, sad, shitty situations, y/n is very very sad and in love, cheating

♦Word count: 3,978

♦Story: A little is better than none.

Note: Hiiiii!! I’m back! I know I’ve been MIA in a while but life just happened and so many situtations led me to lose inspiration over writing, esp with Jaehyun (for reasons induced by other jaehyun fans L) and life was generally shitty esp with my already bad mental health lol a anyways, here’s an angsty piece that I’ve been working on for a while since I was sad lol I hope you guys enjoy it! Some references to Ariana Grande’s Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart which is sad af lol.

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“No. I never loved you and I don’t think I ever will, y/n. I wanna say sorry but I’m not. I know you love me but I really don’t think I can give it back.”

Ouch.

For once, you wanted to initiate the kisses that led to fucking just so he could shut the fuck up, much like how he’d shut you up when you kept asking if he loved you. You kept asking him if he finally loved you, and you had begged just even for a little bit of his heart but he never gave you just a hint, even. At least now, he was being honest. After one year. The one year you begged for him to date you just so you could convince him and make him fall for you.

Throughout the year you spent together, Jaehyun was an excellent boyfriend to you. He provided what you needed more so on the physical side because when it came to feelings, he couldn’t give you anything more than what he already gave. You were thankful he didn’t change the way he was around you and how he treated you as a friend, especially after you started dating. There was really nothing more to being his girlfriend except the dates and the sex.

You could feel your already broken heart shatter even more. Of course you knew he didn’t love you. He never said and showed he did. And he definitely wasn’t sorry.

“I’d like for us to stay friends, though. I love you as a friend and I don’t wanna lose you over this.” He speaks out, completely calm and reasonable. The hand he had on your thigh felt more foreign than ever.

You give him a tight smile and try to get away from his hold, sitting up and leaning on the headboard of your bed where the two of you had just gone through heated rounds of sex. Couldn’t this have waited after you two were dressed? But he was probably wanting this moment to happen soon anyways so it doesn’t drag out because he’s just too nice. That was the problem with him, he was too damn nice.

“I… Thank you for tolerating me,” you smile, exhaling in the process. You couldn’t let him show how you could feel your insides shatter into powder and that the pain was seeping to your skin and bones. It hurt so much. You couldn’t breathe.

Jaehyun stayed silent but offered you a sheepish smile. It was as if he expected you to just accept his revelation and break up with you even though everyone, especially him, knew how you’d been in love with him for ages.

The break up news wasn’t as shocking to people as you thought it would. Everyone saw it coming and they were just counting down until the two of you parted ways. Men and women were flocking him and you couldn’t stay mad as he treated them the same way he’d treat everyone while he was dating you but, the problem now is, he never loved you so who’s to say he wasn’t already entertaining people while you two were together?

Your ‘friends’ saw this coming. Ten, one of the people that clearly expressed that he was not so fond of you, had brutally told you that it was about time before you eventually broke up because according to him, ‘Jaehyun was as interested in you like oil and water wanted to mix’. It hurt and it was embarrassing as he told you that in front of everyone. Even when you were together, he’d even make comments about you and Jaehyun sometimes when you were still together.

Almost all of your group of friends had agreed with Ten, basically. With the way you were acting like everything was okay and that you were completely fine with parting ways with Jaehyun, everyone thought you had moved on from him. Though Jaehyun had said that the break-up was mutual, they never failed to tease you and tell you that Jaehyun probably dumped you which was real shitty, to be honest, but it was true anyways so you couldn’t deny it.

You had no one to talk to. It was either they didn’t really care or they sided with Jaehyun. You weren’t apart of the original crew of friends anyways. Now that you’ve broken up with Jaehyun, it felt like there was no reason to spend time with them anymore.

Jaehyun was very popular in university so of course, everyone knew him and wanted him. While people mostly knew you as the girl who chased after Jaehyun, became friends with him and finally got what she wanted when you successfully got him to date you. No one but you and Jaehyun knew about the one year you begged from him after he had turned you down after your very well prepared confession. Despite that, everyone wasn’t convinced your relationship was out of love in the first place. You’d make Jaehyun turn up in public with your marks inflicted in ‘passionate nights’ but everyone thought of it as purely sexual.

Everyone knew Jaehyun didn’t like you that way and he was just too nice.

2 weeks after, you go through the motions as if nothing has changed. You restrain yourself and start to stay away from Jaehyun. You don’t really actively reach out for him, or get close to him like you’d normally would. He’d assume his position beside you because ‘that’s what he was used to and you’re still a good friend to him’.

You’d decided that little was better than none. You’d take this the feeling of your chest hurting just to see, feel and be with Jaehyun.

“Did you sleep with her?” Haechan asks, teasing Jaehyun. Jaehyun had started going out with the guys again and although you didn’t wanna know, you were still in this table where the friends shared everything within themselves.

“No, no! We’re still getting to know each other and besides, we both just got out of a relationship.” Jaehyun explains as he throws a piece of fry he stole from your plate into his mouth.

Doyoung grunts, flicking Hyuck’s forehead which made the sophomore groan in pain. “Dude, his ex is literally beside him and it’s only been weeks. Rude.” Doyoung scolds Haechan who only retaliates back.

“Oh, I forgot about you, sorry.” Hyuck shrugged nonchalantly, knowing that jab was directed to you. Without missing a beat, another topic overtakes the table and you’re left to your thoughts again.

You lose your appetite and decide the peas in your mashed potatoes were very much interesting—just to tune out the others conversation. You tended to overthink and you admit for the past 2 weeks, you’ve thought of nothing except Jaehyun, especially when you were in bed. At night is where usually everything comes crashing down.

2 weeks of sleepless nights full of tears and no one has noticed nor mentioned it. But you think it’s actually better than actually having to explain yourself. No one had heard your side of the story after the break up and how especially hard it was for you, of course. No one knew what was said and what transpired between your relationship.

You always thought Jaehyun was just particular about his privacy but turns out, he was doing damage control and not letting people assume about your relationship so when the time came, no one could get in your business because they knew nothing at all. You felt stupid because now it’s clear that it was more like a day dream in your head. Jung Jaehyun, turns out, wasn’t as nice as everyone thought he was.

You had your classes timed in your phone since you always managed to be late, mostly to the fact that Jaehyun had you pressed against a wall, crying for him, so when your alarm for your next class goes off, you quietly leave the table and as expected, no one really noticed. You liked it better that way.

As your presence with Jaehyun’s friends started to become non-existent, you started having your food in the courtyard instead of the cafeteria where Jaehyun and his friends usually ate. They’d text you on your whereabouts but you managed to make excuses and you recently joined an org in uni that took up your time and your focus so they didn’t really bother asking much for you. You had a few classes with them anyways.

Jaehyun texted you whenever he could, though. After all, before you dated, you were the closest to him so it’d be weird not to answer his messages. You had agreed to be friends with him anyways after that night when he dumped you. You did your best to reply, of course, you didn’t want to disappoint him. Again, a little was better than none.

Most of the time, you’d end up thinking about wanting to cry about Jaehyun that eating became physically taxing and annoying, and you throw yourself in so much work and studying that you barely had time to rest and it didn’t help that Jaehyun was everywhere in your dorm as well so you resorted to sleeping in one of the empty classrooms.

And that was where you saw him with her.

You had no idea of what Jaehyun had been up to except for the stuff he’d tell you on text, but you definitely knew he always had had his eyes on this one girl from your Politics class and she definitely was very interested, and now even more that he’s single and you’re definitely out of the picture.

Jaehyun and Mina were at the front of the room, with Jaehyun pressing the perfect Mina against the board, passionately kissing her in the classroom you were occupying. It seemed like they hand’t noticed ur existence as you were jolted awake when her heel hit the wooden tables when Jaehyun had lifted her from the table and onto his lap before pressing her against the wall, kissing her so slowly and passionately.

He’d never kissed you that way. No matter how much he kissed you, how harder he fucked you, this was the most you’ve ever felt actual feelings from him. You couldn’t deny the painful jab at your heart so you distract yourself, thinking about your tiredness and want to sleep. You try to force yourself again back to sleep so you had to listen to them making out while talking like lovers. You didn’t cry at all, and you were damn proud, but after they had left, you missed your class and went straight to your dorm, seeing his ghost again. Seeing the ghost of him from your past memories was better than the Jaehyun you saw earlier. You couldn’t deal with him after that.

After that, you’d completely tried to ignore Jaehyun and his friends. They were never your friends. You’d just smile and wave at them when you see them at classes but there was no point for conversation. They’d text you but it was over nothing. And not to mention that Ten was being extra cold and hurtful with the texts he sent you, knowing you being absent around them was because of Jaehyun.

From TY:

- I know you love him a lot.

- I’m always here if you need to talk.

From JCC:

- We miss u broski 😔 we’ll kick Jaehyun and his new gf out for u just come back 😂

- Oh. Sorry, they’re together now tho... I didn’t mean to tell you... but Ig it’s only right.

- JN: Sorry :(

From Junguwu:

- Hang in there, y/n :) fighting!

From: Hyuck

- JAEHYUN HAS A NEW GF???? LMAOOO

- Suck it up and come back! Show him u don’t need him 🤪

From Doyoung:

- You ok?

- I guess you already know about Jaehyun and his new gf?

- Take care of yourself, y/n. I know you love him a lot.

From Jaehyun:

- Y/n?? Where are you??

- Miss hanging out with u!!

- Imma buy u fries just hang out with us again!! I have sumn to tell u!!

- Im seeing Mina now!! Reply when u see this!

You busied yourself with the new organization you joined and turns out, the news of Jaehyun dating Mine was bigger than expected, well not to you. It had been a long time coming anyways. Mina and Jaehyun were hooking up even way before you and Jaehyun got together. Jaehyun and Mina were both well known to be one of the most beautiful people in campus and it just made sense they’d date. People were even calling them the most beautiful couple even before they met so needless to say, this couple was approved and well supported by the people in your uni, not just your department.

You were old news. It had just been 3 months since you and Jaehyun broke up and it was long forgotten. However, comparison wasn’t avoided now that Jaehyun was dating a goddess in his league now, compared to when he dated you, a nobody. You were just known for being the girl that Jaehyun dumped after a year.

Some people though, find it funny that you were still so obviously into Jaehyun. Your parting ways with Jaehyun and his friends was not unnoticed by the gossip mills in the uni. Out of spite and pure entertainment, people would as you about Jaehyun and how your relationship was, which you ignore—for the most part. Some people are just really interested in him and how it was dating him, and most people asked how he was in bed and of course, you didn’t answer. You tried to distance yourself from him and anything to do with him. You didn’t realize how popular Jaehyun was, honestly. You knew so many people were against you when you were friends and even more so when you started dating.

You decide to go out again, linking up with a few girls in your org, Jisoo and Rose. It was a club you’ve never been before and you’re glad because they were actually good company. After the break-up with him, you often hung out with them because of the time you spent in the org and you’ve been inseparable ever since.

It wasn’t common for you to wake up with a stranger next to you for the past 2 months. You heard that Jaehyun started sleeping around a week after you broke up and even if you tried to act like it didn’t hurt, it really did. He was always one to sleep around but he assured you he was loyal when you were together and you gave yourself to him whenever he needed you so he wouldn’t stray but clearly, that wasn’t enough to keep him.

You recognize your one night stand as Mingyu who you had class with last semester and was good friends with Jaehyun. Not that it mattered, though.

“You were crying last night,” Mingyu started when he passed you a bowl of cereal as breakfast from his position in the other side of the kitchen island. He had offered, of course.

It wasn’t anything new, really. “Oh?”

“You were calling his name, you know,” he started as he looked up at you, gauging your reaction, “even when I was fucking you.” He said awkwardly then cleared his throat.

You sigh, clicking your tongue, “that’s embarrassing. I’m so sorry.” Again, it wasn’t anything new.

“It’s ok. I know you love him. Everybody knows.”

You frown, “is that supposed to be a good thing?”

He looks at you and sees your less than welcoming expression. “No, I mean like, he knows you love him and everyone does. It shows. And it’s completely understandable why you’re hurt now that he’s... with Mina.” He cleared his throat when you visibly wince at the mention of Mina’s name. “He’d tell us... about you sometimes when we hung out.”

You didn’t want anyone’s pity, honestly. “Yeah, well. See how that didn’t work out.” You laugh bitterly. “I gave him a lot of me and he never felt the same way. It’s ok, though. I mean...” you pause and start to eat your cereal and he nods.

“Umm... I’m really sorry I don’t know how to comfort you but if it makes you feel any better...” he pauses, as if pondering then smiles before speaking again, “you’re a great fuck.”

You burst out laughing, “well, that was the only way I could keep him, Mingyu.”

Mingyu ended up dropping you off at your dorms on the way to his first class, and in his car so the walk of shame wasn’t as embarrassing. You didn’t forget what he told you before you came down the car.

“You’re worth it, y/n and more than enough. Jaehyun isn’t just for you and it’s his loss, honestly.”

You skipped on your first class, staring up the ceiling as you let the tears fall silently until you couldn’t breathe. Even with the amount of guys you’ve slept with, none of them compared to Jaehyun. You knew some of the guys you’ve slept with knew you were Jaehyun’s ex and if they didn’t, they’d know from the way you could call his name and cry for him in the middle of drunken sex. You felt extra bad for Mingyu as he turned out to be a great ear for you and the fact that he said that you were one of the best fucks he’s ever had while you couldn’t say the same.

Sex was pointless at this point, honestly. You couldn’t feel anything but the emptiness and pain you felt while you were being fucked and usually, the after effects were you being sore. And the only way you would cum was when you’d think about Jaehyun fucking you but that made the pain in your heart grow. It was an annoying cycle.

“Fuck me, Jaehyun.” You’ve admittedly had a little more to drink so it was the first thing you said as soon as you saw him. He was in a booth along with his friends and your arrival and opening words surprised them all, no doubt.

“What are you doing here?” Jaehyun asks, confused. He’s never seen you at a club before and knew you didn’t like going to clubs. Well, you only started going after you broke up anyways so how would he know. Jaehyun and a few of the guys stand up, holding you in your drunk stupor.

“Fuck me.” You mutter as you push yourself to him and catch his mouth in a heated kiss which he stops by pushing you away and wiping his mouth. That hurt.

“What the hell is happening here?” Ten asks, confused and surprised as Jaehyun looks at you in so much shock.

You were desperate and the alcohol inside you was giving you the push and confidence that you usally didn’t have. “Jaehyun, please. Fuck me. I’m begging you.” You plead, trying to kiss him and grind yourself against him that you smell Johnny’s familiar cologne and you just know that he was the one who pulled you away from Jaehyun and is currently holding you back. “I can’t feel anything. I can’t. Jaehyun, please. Fuck me. Make me feel. Please, please.”

“Are you on drugs?” Johnny asks, scanning his eyes over you as he holds you back from Jaehyun.

“I’m not high or drunk, Johnny. I just can’t take it anymore! I can’t feel anything! Just-I just need to feel something… anything.” You reach out for Jaehyun again and Johnny’s hold tightens around you. “I’ve tried fucking other guys, I even fucked Mingyu and the guys in your team but I... can’t. If they’re not you. I can’t fucking feel. Make me feel, Jaehyun. Please.”

Jaehyun talks to the guys and they decided to leave you be, Jaehyun personally drives you to your apartment while they cover for him. Mina was there after all.

He helps you to your house, not trusting you alone. Yes, you were drunk but you were aware of everything you were doing and saying. In the car, you didn’t shed a tear, keeping quiet. You basked in the feeling of anxiety he was giving you. It was better than not feeling anything at all.

As soon as you got in your room, you kissed him and stripped. And of course, he did fuck you after you begged him. And he made you beg more and more in bed, too. The tears that you thought would run out, never stopped pouring as he fucked you. Because the person that you heart longed for was finally in your arms again.

Your heart was full with him. His warmth filled your being, his scent filled your senses, his kisses left you breathless, hos touches leaving warmth in his wake, his cock filling you like no one has ever and his cum filling you to the brim. You felt everything all at once that you felt overwhelmed. You knew you were screaming how much you loved him as he was fucking you and you don’t regret it. You let him use you for his own pleasure as you cried for him. You’d take everything and anything you could for tonight.

After multiple rounds of fucking, you were beyond exhausted but seeing him in the flesh beside you, in your bed again made you... feel. Before tonight, he was just a ghost in your home and in your mind. You’ve longed to see him like this again. You spent a lot of the night awake, watching him sleep, tracing the features of his beautiful face you’ve missed that you’ll probably won’t see again.

“Am I ever gonna be someone worthy of your love?” You ask quietly as you stare at his serene face. It was unfair how beautiful he looked, even at his most vulnerable. “I miss you so much.” He shifts and you pull your hand back as if you were burned, tucking your hand away, feeling awkward. “I’ll never be enough for you and I know that. I don’t wish for you to feel the same way because I don’t deserve it. You deserve better. You deserve her. She’s everything I’m not…” You scoot away from him, giving him much space as possible. “But I wish I was her and you were mine.” You feel the tears fall down your temple and you quickly wipe it away. “I’ll never be deserving of you, even just a little bit of your heart, Jaehyun.”

You decided to clean up, taking your time in the tub and wearing sweatpants and a hoodie to hide the marks he inflicted onto you. You didn’t want him to see, even if he knew what he was did. Walking was a bit hard to do because of the sex but it wasn’t new with him.

You sit on the solo sofa by the bed, watching Jaehyun asleep, lying on his stomach and head facing you as he slept, mouth agape and body completely limp. You could see the scratch marks on his back and arms and the hickies on his neck too but frankly, you try not to care about it too much.

You barely notice the sun coming up until the room is filled with light and the sun just highlights Jaehyun’s beauty more and more. You feel... everything all at once. The loss, the pain, the love, the anxiety, the despair, the desperation, the jealousy—everything. It had you feeling breathless, as if the air was knocked out of your lungs.

You hated it but it was better than feeling numb. You’ve never been so lonely and unwanted before and you it hits you so hard.

A little was better than nothing.

#jaehyun angst #jaehyun fic #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun x reader #nct fanfic #nct angst #nct smut #nct fic #i hope yall like this #I have a smut Im finishing up so I can upload soon #I wanna talk to u guys :(

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fuckyeahexofics · 4 years

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Fic Search #219

201004. hi! first of all thank u guys for ur hardwork know that its v much appreciated ♡ theres this fic i've been looking for for ages : a chanbaek royalty au i read on ao3. baek was the prince and i think yeol was his guard. chan & baek start getting it on (nsfw) but baek is kinda possessive so when he learns of yeol's ex outside of the palace, he gets jealous and has him killed, which yeol didn't rlly like if i remember right? thats all i remember i hope one of u knows this but if not, its ok! tank u

201011. i'm trying to find this fic... i cant remeber the pairing otl but im certain it was on ao3... basically its this fic where theyre an established couple but like a doesn't really say ily to b or something, and i remember this one scene [the only thing i remember LOL] where b sits at the edge of the bed and a gives him a blowjob and b wants to return the favor but a says no, and its kind of implied its how he shows he loves him that he's doing it /for him/ not himself?? to be honest im like 95 percent its an exo fic... im trying to wreck my brain trying to find it but i cant and if u cant im assuming it might be another fandoms but alas i can't remeber anything but that one scene ;-;

201011. Hi, I am looking for a Luhan/Sehun fic; Sehun has a girlfriend who he doesn't really care for and plays videos games online all the time. He meets Luhan through a game I believe. It was on AFF but I, for the life of me cannot remember it. I think his girlfriend's name was Nari, if that helps anyway. It used to be on exodic's rec list but she's since dropped of the face of the internet :(

201011. Hii, there was a junmyeon fic i remembered read before but I can’t remember the pairing but i think it’s either suyeol or seho (?) but im not sure sorry! It was a florist!junmyeon got hired to do flower decoration for a banquet in the palace and didnt know the who’s the prince and the prince got smitten with junmyeon and they both talk and date after that and i think the prince got exposed and it become a bit angst after that. Hope someone can help me find this thank you in advance! 🙏🏻

201011. Hi! I'm looking for a kaibaek fanfic, where baekhyun was in love with chanyeol but chanyeol broke his heart so as "revenge" (i think?) he got with kai (a player and his boss in the fic) and then kai and kaek fell in love. I'm not exactly sure where it was but it was slight angst and a few chapters long. Thanks for your help!

201011. Hi! First off thanks so much for this wonderful page it has saved my life a few times 🤣. I was wondering if any of you might know of a fic thats based on American Horror Story, Murder house. Its Baekhyun-centric and is ot12. I can’t find it anywhere and I need to read it again. Thanks!

7. Fingers Laced to Crown by seawitcher

201021. Hello! Hope you're doing well. So, i'm looking for a Kaisoo fic where Kyungsoo and Jongin are both princes i think, and they have an arranged marriage. Kyungsoo's family says that Kyungsoo has gone mad and treat him bad. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are his half brothers and although Kyungsoo is the oldest, Chanyeol is the crown prince. I remember almost the whole plot but not the title. I hope you can help me to find it. Thanks!

201025. hunhan searchhi! you guys are awesome and thank you for all the hard work. so i’m pretty desperate in finding this hunhan fic on aff. they’re childhood friends. one of them (prolly SH) used to chase theother when he was little. but in high school, LH was the one who kept pestering him. when they were in the shower LH tried to put SH’s hand on his nip but SH pulled away. LH told him Kris asked him out then LH went to a noodle shop and finished 5(?) bowls and sehun chased after him. thank you!

9. KEEP ME IN YOUR CORNER by boneshrine

201025. Hello, hello! I just want to say that I love this blog so very much, and we all really appreciate all of the staffs' hard work! I am looking for this one fic, though, and maybe you guys can help? It's a Baeksoo fic in which I think it was Kyungsoo is in an illegal fight club. And Baekhyun was kind of recruited to work for them as a medic, I think? I think Jongdae was the one who ran the club? Or something like that? I'm fairly certain I read it on AFF too. Thanks!

10.

201025. hello i am looking for this baekyeol fic, i remember that chanyeol was famous in it and dating baekhyun but they could never go on dates because no one knew he was gay , so they go on a date but baekhyun dresses up as a girl and i guess people catch them but because no one knows who bbh is they think he's with a girl? if you can help me i'd really appreciate it thank you!!

11. cock envy by horse_exobooks

201028. gunabug: Hello lovelies! I've been trying to read a fic that I read a while back; I'm pretty certain it was Sehun/Kai, and I think Kai found a bunch of baby chicks, and they imprinted on Sehun? It's been driving me crazy all week. Thank you!

12. pet au by incendir

201028. Hi! im looking for a hurt/comfurt fic with past abuse. I believe it was a either a hybrid!au or a slave!au where one of the members bought an abused hybrid/slave? There was a scene where the hybrid was gifted a collar but he thought it was so that he could punish himself. There was also a scene where the hybrid/slave got buried by his past owner. Sorry for being vague, I dont remember the pairing. I think it was baek/kai but im not sure. i also think it was posted on Tumblr, not AO3, thanks!!

#fic search

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asherjhemmings · 4 years

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( MATTHEW DADDARIO + CISMALE ) — Have you seen ASHER HEMMINGS ? This TWENTY-EIGHT year old is a MUSIC PRODUCER who resides in BROOKLYN. HE has been living in NYC for TEN YEARS, and is known to be OUTGOING and ALLURING, but can also be ARROGANT and SELF SERVING, if you cross them. People tend to associate them with SCATTERED SHEET MUSIC ON A MARBLE FLOOR and GOLDEN BAR CARTS LITTERED WITH EXPENSIVE LIQUOR. — ( haley, 21, she/her, triggers: eating disorders & self harm, est )

hello all !! i’m haley and i’ve been roleplaying since i was like eleven but i just came back to tumblr rp a year ago and that just so happened to be with my baby asher, so happy anniversary to him being a muse <3

i’ve boiled his bio down into some bullet points because it used to be so fuckin long and i’m sure nobody read it so here it is condensed into just the basics

basics:

name: asher julien hemmings

nicknames: ash, aj

age: 28

hometown: cambridge, ma

currently living: brooklyn, ny

education: high school diploma, degree in music production from nyu

birthday: april 13th

zodiac: aries

sexual orientation: bisexual

tattoos: ** doesn’t have a neck tattoo like alec in shadow hunters lol but he has mad tattoos, two full sleeves

aesthetic: pinterest

before nyc (tw: alcoholism, abuse, prison)

asher was what some holier than would call a miracle or what other would more harshly call an accidental pregnancy.

his father owned a low-life club in the city, known for mistreating employees and sneaky business behind the scene. some speculated that the operation of the club was to simple launder drug money, however that is a far different story.

his mother began working at the club around her twenty-seventh birthday and took on a position as an exotic dancer. she never quite had a set career path, often working odd jobs until it lead her to the intimidating world of stripping.

asher’s father took a liking to her, in the same way he took a liking to most females that got hired at the establishment whether it be a guest or an employee. however, unlike the other, he got her pregnant.

their relationship was toxic from the beginning. seeing as the relationship was forced for the sake of their child, they didn’t get along great. cops were constantly called to their apartment during 2am screaming matches, a lot of nights spent with one of them on the couch. but it wasn’t bad enough for one of them to leave, but it wasn’t good enough for one of them to say i love you.

asher was born on a rainy day in the spring and came into the world with a smile on his face. the nurses even joked he looked like a young frank sinatra with the way he slyly smirked.

but the smile didn’t always stay on his face. as he grew up, he saw the repercussions of staying with someone out of convenience rather than love. while his mother fell in love with him and hand crafted her maternal instincts to excellency, his father developed a love for whisky and coming home late from work.

despite what they once thought, a child didn’t fix things. in his father’s worsening condition, he began to get violent. it started off aggressively verbal until it matured into a far more physical act. at first it was just asher’s mother taking the brunt of the abuse. but as asher began to get older, it wasn’t uncommon for him to a victim on the lashing too.

it wasn’t until child protective services got involved after asher in seventh grade came to school with bruises that anyone was even aware of what he was enduring. asher’s father was sentenced to twenty-five years in prison for domestic abuse & parental negligence.

the abuse had made asher timid moreso than it made him aggressive. so when he and his mother moved in with his grandparents, he was hesitant around his grandfather at first. his grandfather tried to form a relationship with him doing everything from playing board games to watching television or going mini-golfing. nothing seemed to be able to break through asher’s timid exterior.

this was until one day his grandfather caught him plucking at the keys on their grand piano and offered to teach a young asher how to play. music was the first thing they truly bonded over and within a year, asher was playing better than most people can in a lifetime.

once moving in with his grandparents, his mother wasn’t around much. she was always with her latest boyfriend or with her friends. asher didn’t mind though, he enjoyed cooking with his grandmother or strumming a guitar with his grandfather.

in high school, asher became a punk. he strived in all social groups due to his charisma. he excelled with the music kids, got in with the burnouts, even was cool enough to hang around with the popular kids. teachers loved him despite not being the best student. it was impossible to hate him.

his music teacher wrote him his letter of recommendation to study at nyu. he never saw himself going to college but he was excited to reinvent himself.

in nyc (tw: alcoholism)

during his years at nyu, asher began to reinvent himself. he was no long timid or the least bit shy. he was suave and slick, getting along with almost everyone he came into contact with.

unfortunately when some many people love you, after a while, it begins to get to your head. it was no surprise to people when asher began to get arrogant and cocky about his musical abilities. but one thing he had to fake confidence with was who he was as a person.

asher didn’t like himself, hence why new york was such a turning point for him. deep down, he believed he didn’t deserve love or his success. but when he started getting praise for his music producing abilites all of that changed.

classmates were intimidated by him and professors were undoubtedly impressed with the way in which he could perfect a beat or make a hit simply experimenting. asher liked the attention, lived for the applause he’d get at the end of a presentation. the love others had for him inflated his ego but also drove him to success.

after graduating at twenty-two, asher moved to an apartment in brooklyn and immediately began interning at a record label. he didn’t necessarily like what he was doing, truly believing that he was too good to be there most days.

but even as an intern he excelled and at the age of twenty-five, he bought his own music production company that houses over twenty studio spaces for artists to record.

in three years, not much has changed. except his bank account has quadrupled, he’s moved from a shoebox to a villa.. oh, and he’s developed a bit of a drinking problem.

drinking started off a social thing for asher. a few beers at a college party here and there seemed to be the beginning of it. then it was shots, and then getting black out at parties and not remembering much of anything. being surrounded by famous artists in his career only made this habit worse. he was drinking to wake up in the morning, in the studio, before bed and repeat.

nobody knows much about his blossoming alcoholism but it’s quickly beginning to fester and consume him. but he’s pretty good at hiding behind the tortured artist facade.

personality:

asher is the epitome of smiling and rolling your eyes in the same instance. he’s charming and goofy in the same line and doesn’t miss a beat.

super flirty. will flirt w u. and ur friend. and ur friend’s significant other. that’s just how he is.

loves verbal sparring, the certified king of it

why is he always smoking a cigarette? nobody knows

can be an asshole, will most likely get you to yell at him and then laugh and tell you that you’re the one being ridiculous

Indecisive af

a ride or die for his friends, literally would kill for a buddy

wanted connections:

ex girlfriend or boyfriend: asher’s been in nyc for ten years so he’s definitely tried to get serious ab someone by now. their relationship was for sure super toxic. let’s plot.

college roommate: someone who went to nyu and has watched asher’s success absolutely blow up. someone who pulled him drunk out of parties and threw him their dorm’s cold shower. give me disappointed friends vibes or a strained relationship !! anything !!

half-brother: as far as asher knows, he’s an only child. his father was an alcoholic who often had affairs with the girls who worked at his clubs in boston or were in the city on business. it is no surprise that something came from his late night rendezvous. asher’s not the warmest person, especially when it comes to his negligent father. will anything come of the brothers sharing the city streets? or will they simply turn a cold shoulder to one another?

assistant: asher is a famous music producer with his own recording studio in manhattan. he and his personal assistant spend a lot of time together. this connection is pretty open ended so asher could be their mentor if they’re musically inclined but they could also be confidants, best friends, frenemies, potential love interest, fwb, up to you!!

ride or die: this man needs to have some friends who put him in his place plz, he’s a whole ass disaster

music friends: self explanatory

fwb/ex-flings: this man is so flirty if he hasn’t messed around w u he’s messed around w someone u know. give me angst. give me missed connections. give me unrequited. give me friendzone. give me anything.

#about #codintro

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caligobeltrao · 4 years

Note

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol.

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching.

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction.

Let’s just jump in, shall we?

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual.

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts.

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in.

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool.

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman.

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil.

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot.

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show.

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole.

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them.

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book.

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney.

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him.

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around.

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard.

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional.

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted.

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice.

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network.

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words.

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus.

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel.

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris.

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me.

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!!

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal.

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose.

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really.

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really.

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots.

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross.

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have.

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here.

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know.

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire.

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion.

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!!

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know.

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her.

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window.

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing.

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel.

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble.

#bloodybrahms #ask #no joke i spent like 5-6 hours total writing this i had a Lot to say

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Not Nineteen Forever (11) (Branjie/Scyvie)- Ortega

a/n: hey friends! welcome to chapter 11 of N19F, everyone’s favourite chronicles of our uni gals being irresponsible af. this chapter begins our collective slow descent into madness so hope we’re all ready. as always, thank u for the love and pls pls pls send a wee ask into AQ/my blog telling me what ur fav part was!!! i heart serotonin xo

trigger warning: drug use (Snoop Dogg’s favourite garden plant xo)

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Christmas saw funny jumpers, Secret Santa gifts, and Yvie and Scarlet saying I love you but not-quite-saying-I-love-you.

this chapter: everyone is back at uni after the holidays but somebody’s got cold feet, and not because the flat heating isn’t switched on.

***

Brooke wondered if it was possible to sweat herself to death as she dragged her huge suitcase up the final step to her flat and scrambled around in her backpack. She had never been so excited to take off a jacket in her adult life, but as she fumbled around for her keys she began to wonder if she would ever actually get into her flat. Thankfully, somebody had evidently heard her struggling and the door was suddenly thrown open to reveal Nina, just as smiley, happy and excited to see her as she’d been before Brooke had gone home for the holidays.

“Brookey Brooke Brooke!! Happy New Year!” Nina cried, lurching forward to give her a hug.

“Oh my God, Happy New Year baby. I probably stink of sweat,” Brooke concluded, her puffer jacket feeling more like a portable prison of heat with each passing second. Nina patted her on the back as she pulled away, dragging her suitcase inside in a suitably Mum-like manner.

“Nonsense, come in. I only just boiled the kettle, you’ve got scarily good timing. Yvie’s here with Scarlet. I think they may be banging.”

As Brooke walked past Yvie’s room she heard something that sounded suspiciously like a hiss through a set of teeth, and concluded that Nina was probably right.

“I’ll forgive them. How was New Years’?” Brooke asked, finally peeling her jacket off and throwing herself down on the couch. Nina raised her eyebrows as she poured the kettle out into two mugs.

“Really good,” she said, drawing out the “really” for emphasis. “I mean, it was just me, Silky, Akeria and Vanjie but it was such a great night. Kiki went home with a guy that looked like Thor. It was very bizarre.”

Brooke let out a laugh. She hadn’t felt too much fomo at having missed any New Year’s celebrations, as it was really only the girls whose family homes were closest to the city that were able to meet up and party together. Canada was probably a bit too much of a commute. Brooke self-consciously remembered the texts from Vanessa that came through that night, her stomach flipping over.

“Nobody overdid it, did they?” she found herself asking, keen for an outsider’s perspective on the evening. Nina tutted as she handed Brooke her mug and sat down.

“I mean Silky did, but it was basically her birthday party so nobody would begrudge her it. Vanjie was cute, though, it was a shame you never had any signal,” Nina smiled at Brooke, Brooke feeling a knot in her stomach tighten at her words. She plastered on her best fake smile.

“Aw yeah, she’s a cutie.”

“You must be looking forward to seeing her again? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that,” Nina encouraged her, sipping her tea.

“Yeah, of course! But I want to see my girls as well, you know? I mean I haven’t seen you for like, a month. Tell me about you and Monet!” Brooke smiled enthusiastically, jumping at the chance to divert the conversation from the topic of her and Vanessa. She took a big gulp of her tea, hoping it would encourage Nina to talk for as long as she could.

“We’re good! We’re good. I saw her just after Christmas, we met up in town. I’m still absolutely convinced the whole thing’s a massive practical joke and she’ll completely ghost me soon, but I’m trying not to think too much about it otherwise I’ll get too wrapped up in it and end up ruining things,” Nina reeled off, ending her sentence with an awkward shrug and a laugh to match, Brooke unsure if she felt good that the heat was off her and Vanessa or bad that it seemed Nina was a hair’s breadth away from self-sabotaging her potential relationship.

“Well you’ve been seeing each other for what, two months now? That’s getting into girlfriend territory, babe."

"Oh, don’t,” Nina laughed, shaking her head so violently that her tea threatened to splash. “As fucking if. No, I’m just enjoying it while it lasts and whatever happens happens. I mean, I’m hardly going to be the one to end it, am I?"

Brooke raised both eyebrows at her but didn’t push for any more. Brooke always worried about Nina ever so slightly, like the sister she never had. Nina was the best hypewoman around, always preaching self-esteem, confidence and body positivity, but when push came to shove she could only sporadically take that advice herself. Brooke knew that Nina had overcome a lot since her time at high school- she’d always remember when Nina broke down to Brooke in her first year halls room and had told her everything she’d struggled with in the past after a set of girls had laughed at Nina in a kebab shop after a night out. So Brooke could understand that sort of self-love was hard for Nina to maintain. Brooke had noticed it seemed to come to her in ebbs and flows like waves; the crashing-against-rocks happy presence of a Nina who danced about the flat singing to Lizzo in a new outfit she loved deeply contrasting with times where the tide would pull her back out into a sea of shame, unhappy and upset because she’d eaten a share pack of Minstrels quicker than she’d thought possible and was disgusted at herself.

“Anyway. What about you, you going to ask Vanjie to be your girlfriend yet? It’s been longer than two months for you both and in your own words, Ms Hytes, that’s girlfriend territory,” Nina asked eagerly, Brooke almost spilling her tea all over herself in shock. Before she could answer, the kitchen door opened and in walked Yvie and Scarlet one after the other in a set of slightly crumpled clothes. Yvie’s face broke out into a smile as she saw her flatmate and she immediately ran forward toward the sofa Brooke was sat on, crushing her in a half-straddle, half-hug.

“Oh my God, bitch, it’s been forever!! Happy New Year!” she cried, muffled against Brooke’s shoulder.

Happy to see Yvie because she hadn’t seen her in ages and also because her arrival meant she didn’t have to answer Nina’s question, Brooke squeezed back hard. “Happy New Year baby!! How were your holidays? Scarlet, c’mere!”

Scarlet shuffled forward as Yvie ungracefully peeled herself off of Brooke, hugging her slightly more gently which Brooke was grateful for as Yvie spoke. “They were good. Made better by this one coming to see me.”

“Oh, did you go up to Yvie’s?” Brooke asked Scarlet as she pulled away, Scarlet rolling her eyes in mock-exasperation.

“Yeah, well. Someone decided to develop separation anxiety by the time we’d been apart for a fortnight so had me looking up train times before the bells had even rung at midnight,” Scarlet smiled, Yvie giving her a playful shove before pulling her down onto the armchair and into her lap, Scarlet giggling and batting her away.

“Well, you’re still both as gross as you were together the last time I saw you, so I’m glad nothing’s changed,” Brooke snorted, Yvie flipping her middle finger up at her.

“Oh, and you and Vanjie are gonna be totally different when you see each other again,” she rolled her eyes, Brooke clenching her teeth together momentarily. Why did everybody seem to want to bring Vanessa up every two minutes?

“Well yeah, we probably will be. It’s not like we’re together or anything,” Brooke gave an awkward laugh. Suddenly the mood in the room seemed to change. She saw Scarlet stiffen tensely in Yvie’s lap and Yvie look across to Nina, something in her widened eyes that Brooke couldn’t quite make out. As Brooke turned to look at Nina, the other girl seemed to be impervious to the sudden tension and was smiling brightly at her phone.

“Hey, Monet’s wondering if she can come round. We could get pizza, play Mario Kart, maybe get high? We’ve not done that in a while. Sound good?”

Before Brooke could address the shift in atmosphere, Yvie was replying to Nina. “I’d be so down. I’m actually starving.”

“Sounds fun,” Brooke responded, still not quite able to have her smile meet her eyes. “I’ll go unpack my shit and then come back through. Won’t be long!”

Brooke couldn’t have been more glad of a moment to herself as she flung open her bedroom door and crashed down onto her bed, a feeling of seasickness churning in her stomach. Laying on her back, she stared up at the cracks in the ceiling until her eyes began to burn. She took one heavy, deep breath and opened up her phone. Her gut plummeted all over again when she saw the name in her notifications.

V: You get back to flat okay? Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brooke tapped out a message as quickly as she could, desperate for the interaction to be over.

B: Yep! Just there with the girls just now xxx

A reply came through before Brooke had even had the chance to replace the phone on her bed.

V: Yay!! You gonna come round and cuddle me and play with my hair? lol xxxxxxxxxx

Every single kiss that Vanessa had left at the end of her text felt like a stab in Brooke’s gut. Her entire stomach feeling like a ton of bricks, she replied.

B: Sorry boo we’re just having flat girl time just now! Just the three of us. I’ll see you soon though? Xxx

This pause was longer.

V: Aww damn well I already waited a month I guess I can wait another day :) have fun Brooky xxxxxxxxxxxx

Brooke dropped her phone on the bed, brought her hands up to her face and gave a huge, massive exhale. She didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her. She didn’t know what had changed. Vanessa was the girl she’d been chasing for essentially her entire university career, the literal girl of her dreams. She had wanted her, and now she had her. And everything was fine. Except everything was far from fine, Brooke thought as she sucked her tense stomach in and willed that horrible sinking feeling to go away. Maybe it was the month-long gap from when they’d last seen each other. Maybe it was the way Vanessa’s texts seemed to shift from fun and flirty and lighthearted to saccharine sweet and intense. Brooke didn’t know, but all she did know was that any time she thought about her and Vanessa as anything more than what they were now or if anyone else brought that idea up, her heart started doing somersaults, and not in a good way.

Guiltily, she took her phone and scrolled up on her and Vanessa’s text history, looking back at their texts from New Years’.

V: Babyyyy xxxx

V: Keep trying to phone u n it’s going to voicemail :((( xxxxxxx

V: it’s so near midnight!!!!! xx

B: Sorry boo my signal is shit! I’m barely able to text :( xxx

B: But Happy New Year for when it comes!!!! Hope you are having a great night, get home safe xxx

V: Aww man that’s shit lmao dw dw xxxxxxxx

V: Happy New Year my baby, you’re the best thing to come out of this whole year and I’m so so glad we got our shit together, I really really really like you and I can’t wait to see where this year takes us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

B: Awwww baby you’re sweet xxx

B: You never heard of playing hard to get lol (kidding) xxx

V: Ahahahahaha shut up whore xxxxxxxxx

V: Aint gotta play hard to get when you already got me xxxxxxxxxx

But Brooke hadn’t been kidding, and her signal had been fine, and Vanessa’s messages had made her feel worse instead of better. She preferred the old Vanessa, the sexy and suggestive Vanessa who only wanted to fuck all the time and who wasn’t bothered about cuddling or hair-playing or anything like that. All of that scared Brooke. To her, that was what people in committed relationships did, and she wasn’t at the age where she wanted one of those. Or at least, she’d never had anything properly serious before and the prospect of it completely terrified her. Brooke squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on breathing deeply. There was no way any unpacking was getting done now, as the top priority was to stop herself spiralling.

Brooke could have lain there for five minutes or forty-five minutes (she had no idea), but soon enough she was jolted out of her reverie as the buzzer went off. She got up and went out into the hall to get it.

"Hello?”

“Brooke, that you? It’s Monet, Neens said I could come round?”

Brooke wanted to repeatedly bash her head against the doorframe. Why did she have to be surrounded by cuddling couples and adorable pet names at a time like this?

“Yeah, no worries! Come up.”

As Brooke held her finger down against the switch to let Monet in, Nina ran out from her bedroom. She’d obviously spent the time making an effort, and her huge mane of wavy blonde hair was half-up half-down in a topknot on her head, her face painted with just enough makeup to look a touch more glam than everyday. She was still in her sweatpants but had changed into a fresh pyjama top. It had Lady from Lady and The Tramp on it, and the slogan “BED HAIR”.

“Is it her? Is she here?” Nina breathed heavily, nudging past Brooke to look through the peephole. Brooke couldn’t help but laugh.

“You sound like the fucking Grim Reaper’s about to come up the stairs, not your girlfriend! Fucking chill,” Brooke spluttered, squeezing Nina round her middle. “It’ll be fine.”

“She’s not my girlfriend! Stop saying that! Oh Jesus, you can’t say that in front of her,” Nina turned to Brooke, mortified. “Do I look okay?”

“You look gorgeous, as always. Interesting outfit choice, though.”

“Well, I want her to think that I always look this good when I’m being a lazy slob around the flat,” Nina shrugged, suddenly tearing her gaze back to the peephole and leaping back from the door as if she’d been scalded. “Fuck! Shit! That’s her, go!"

"Go? Bitch, where?” Brooke burst out laughing, trying to sober up in the hallway as Nina opened the door to Monet, who threw her arms around the other girl and covered both her cheeks in kisses.

“Hey baby! Ugh, I missed you so much,” Monet smiled, Nina growing shy and red as the other girl tapped her on the nose. “Thanks for having me over. I got you flowers!”

Brooke only just noticed the bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers in Monet’s left hand, Nina’s eyes lighting up as they were thrust into her arms.

“Oh, wow! They’re so beautiful, thank you, honey!” Nina smiled, pulling the girl in for another hug.

“Sunflowers for my sunflower. Oh, hey Brooke!” Monet cried as she noticed Brooke, immediately striding towards her and flinging her arms around her in a friendly hug. “How were your holidays? How’s Vanjie?”

Brooke tried her very best to keep from letting her discomfort at the topic of conversation show on her face as she pulled away. “They were…are…both amazing, thanks girl! How were yours?”

“They were great. Glad to be away from my crazy family though. You know you get to a stage when you just can’t live with them a second longer or you’ll commit a mass murder?” Monet chatted away, turning to Nina for validation. Nina screwed up her face and laughed.

“Nah, I think you’re just a psychopath.”

“Mm, you love it though,” Monet smiled, shooting a wink at Nina that instantly rendered her speechless. Monet burst out into a laugh and Brooke tried not to roll her eyes. Why did everyone else seem to fall into their couples so easily? Why did nobody else seem to have doubts or fears? “Come on, let’s get these pizzas ordered. I think my stomach’s eating itself."

Brooke followed the two girls through to the living room, as Nina let Monet know that Scarlet and Yvie were round. Monet turned to Brooke as if she was about to say something, but Brooke watched as Nina grabbed Monet’s wrist and whispered something to her urgently, Monet nodding understandingly. Brooke got the feeling that she had been the subject of the comment.

"Hey Monet!” Yvie called, Monet going over to give Yvie and Scarlet a hug in turn as Nina put the flowers in water.

“Hey ladies! You part of the WaGs of Belford Road too, Scarlet?” Monet asked her, Scarlet laughing and smiling up at her.

“The fuck does WaGs mean, you calling my girlfriend a bitch?” Yvie asked jokingly, Monet sitting down on the sofa and stretching out her legs as if she was one of the flat’s tenants.

“Wives and girlfriends. Mainly used for footballers back in the day but we’re just ballers, I guess.”

“We’d have the full set if Vanj was here,” Scarlet smiled at Brooke, and suddenly yelped, Brooke not missing the dig in the ribs that Yvie gave her. She started to become concerned. Was she making it really obvious that something was wrong?

“Okay, pizza!” Nina suddenly clapped her hands together, making Brooke jump. She scrolled her phone after she sat next to Monet, who threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. “We could get this deal? Cookies, wedges, chicken strippers and two pizzas for £25.99?"

"I’m not sure I’ll want cookies,” Scarlet mused, Brooke deciding she could really do with hitting the bong if only to fucking relax, and that now was as good a time as ever.

“You sure? Not even after this?” Brooke spoke up, holding out the bong and watching Scarlet reconsider.

“What pizzas are we getting?” Monet asked, Yvie instantly sighing the world-weary sigh of a put-upon flatmate. Monet raised a questioning eyebrow Nina’s way.

“Ugh, don’t. It’s a point of contention in this whole flat,” she began explaining. “Yvie likes pepperoni, but not any other meats. I only really like margherita or something chicken-y or vegetable-y. Brooke likes pineapple and olives-”

“Hold the fuck up,” Monet stopped Nina, whipping her head round to cast Brooke a judgemental glare that she almost missed, too busy tipping the weed out onto the gauze.

“That’s disgusting, Brooke,” Scarlet wrinkled her nose up, Brooke rolling her eyes as she searched for a lighter.

“Fucking hell, guys, it’s not a raw fucking sausage! It’s a bit of fruit and a bit of vegetable!” she sighed. Seeing her obvious distress, Monet produced a pink Bic from the pocket of her black jeans and held it out to her, Brooke taking it gratefully and striking up.

“…So you see the issue we have whenever we want a pizza in this flat,” Nina finished as the smoke hit the back of Brooke’s throat and she exhaled quicker than she would have liked, punctuating the whole thing with a cough and a splutter.

“Do you ever just get a half and half?” Scarlet asked innocently. Yvie squeezed her shoulder and laughed good-naturedly.

“Babe, I know you weren’t any good at Maths in high school, but there’s only two parts to a half."

"You like…pepperoni, right?” Nina narrowed her eyes as she tried to remember Monet’s favourite. The other girl responded by leaning in and kissing her cheek, smiling.

“Aww, Neens! You remembered,” Monet smiled, delighted. Yvie turned to Scarlet and frowned.

“Yours is…Hawaiian?”

Scarlet laughed. “Barbecue chicken. Monet, can we swap girlfriends?”

Brooke’s eyebrows flew up her forehead involuntarily as Nina completely froze, but Monet simply laughed back. “Sorry sweetie, this one’s mine. I can rent her out though. Five pounds an hour?”

“Eh, excuse me! I am actually here, you know?” Nina cried, seemingly much more relaxed now that Monet hadn’t freaked out at the label Scarlet had given them.

“Right, what fucking pizzas are we getting? The munchies are going to kick in in about twenty minutes so let’s go,” Brooke asked decisively, squeezing herself down beside Monet and Nina.

“Well, half and half both of them so that there’s four,” Monet suggested, gesturing to Yvie. “Me and Yvie like pepperoni, so let’s do half pepperoni, Neens if you like chickeny things then let’s have you sharing a barbecue chicken with Scarlet…we can make another half pineapple and olives for Brooke’s Satanic tastebuds and…that means we’ve got another half to play with.”

“Oh my God. Monet, can we keep you?” Yvie asked incredulously. “I think that’s the quickest we’ve ever decided on an order.”

“Let’s just make the last half margherita, then we can all have a bit,” Scarlet shrugged, Nina nodding and quickly ordering. Soon enough, the bong was getting passed round and the girls all settled into their respective seats lazily, the Wii soon getting fired up and many rounds of Mario Kart getting played. Eventually, it ended in a fierce battle between Yvie and Brooke.

“Oh, Christ!” Yvie groaned, Scarlet, Nina and Monet howling with laughter at Yvie’s dismay as she flew off the course. “I got a fucking mushroom and I used it…on a corner…like a squandering fucking toddler!”

“Eat shell dick, King Boo,” Brooke muttered, sending a blue shell with her right trigger as the buzzer to the flat went off.

“I’ll get it!” Monet cried excitedly, Nina getting slightly dislodged as she leapt off the sofa and ran through to the hall. As Monet returned with numerous boxes piled high on top of each other, Brooke sped across the finish line and cheered.

“You’re a fucking cheat,” Yvie scowled at her, pointing an accusatory finger her way. Brooke snorted a laugh.

“Hey! No fighting!” Nina chastised, ripping a box open to reveal a pizza with a curious variety of toppings.

“You’re my winner, boo,” Scarlet smiled at her girlfriend, Yvie instantly softening and kissing her on the cheek. Suddenly, four sets of phones went off and Scarlet checked hers first.

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Alright hoes are we all back from home?

Okay Then: i’m still in Dubai sorry xoxo

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Oo00oooh alright for some xoxo

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Jeez Plastique that must be so hard for you, thoughts and prayers up xo

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: The reason I ask is because we at Antigua Road want a night outtt

Scarlet’s bitch: sorry guys we could not be further from a night out mood

mose: Yeah sorry ladies I am jetlagged as fuck

Kim Kardashian-West: Sorry girls :( Monet and Scarlet are round at ours though if anyone wants to join!!

Brooke’s stomach dropped as she remembered her lie to Vanjie. Shit.

“Nina, fuck,” Brooke said involuntarily, the other girls turning to her curiously.

“What did I do?”

The churning in Brooke’s stomach was back as if it had never left. She paused, looking back down at her phone. The chat had gone strangely quiet. Brooke bit at the skin on her thumb. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Yvie, ever the anti-bullshit merchant, narrowed her eyes at Brooke. “Are you okay, girl? You don’t seem so good today.”

Brooke was on the defense before she knew it. “I’m fine! I’m good!"

Before anyone else could say a thing, Brooke’s phone lit up. She was being phoned, and she didn’t have to look to see who it was.

Fuck.

Ignoring the rest of the girls, she walked out of the living room and into the hall, only answering her phone when she was safely in her own room. She took a deep breath before she spoke, keeping her tone deliberately, painfully, light.

"Hey boo!”

“Hey Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa’s voice was a similarly forced upbeat, but Brooke’s heart sank at the upset behind it. “Um, I’m just…I’m a little confused.”

“Okay, what’s up?” Brooke asked lightly, growing more convinced by the second that she was developing a stomach ulcer.

“So, uh…I thought you guys were having a girls’ night, and then Nina said that Monet and Scarlet were over…you know, it just seems a bit like the others have their girls round?” Vanessa questioned, her voice measured and calm and small and making Brooke feel like a massive dick.

“Yeah, no, uh…” she began, not really knowing how she was going to excuse herself. “I mean, no, I thought that too until I realised Yvie had Scarlet round and then Nina told me Monet was coming…just one of those things, you know? I mean I’d thought it was just a flat night too.”

“Right, sure,” Vanessa’s voice was understanding, and Brooke’s heart felt sore. She suddenly remembered something Vanessa had said.

“Besides, Monet and Nina aren’t together. It’s only Yvie and Scarlet that are girlfriends."

Brooke heard the hiss of a sigh come from the other end of the line. ”Brooke, can I ask you a question?“

"Sure.”

“Are we okay? You know, what we’ve got goin’ on. Are you still happy?”

Brooke’s stomach dropped to the floor. She had the smallest possible time gap to confront all the feelings she’d been trying to push to the back of her mind, and it was an impossible task. All day her stomach had been in knots at the thought of seeing Vanessa, but now that she was faced with the prospect of losing her she found herself panicking. She still liked Vanessa. Everything was just so new and different. She had to articulate that to her.

“Yeah, of course, definitely,” Brooke began, the audible sigh of relief on the other end of the line making guilt stab at her heart. “It’s just…everything’s so fresh, you know? I just want to take things as slow as we can. I like how we are, and I don’t want anything to change anytime soon.”

“Okay. No, don’t worry, I get it. I get it, and I don’t want to mess up either. So I’m happy to do whatever you want,” Vanessa said, her tone more cheerful now.

“I’m sorry if I freaked you out. Do you, uh. Do you still want to come round?”

“Nah, don’t worry, baby. I think us three are still gonna go out, so sorry in advance if I phone you at three in the morning.”

Maybe it was because she hadn’t seen Vanessa in a while, Brooke comforted herself, her heart swelling at the smile she could hear in her voice. Once they were together again and Vanessa would wind her up and they would kiss all rough and hot the way Brooke liked, then things would be better.

Enthused by her new-found optimism, Brooke found herself smiling. “Thanks for the warning. I’ll make sure my phone’s turned off.”

“Bitch. Cut that attitude or you won’t get any cute photos of my outfit.”

Brooke felt a heat curl in her stomach. “I’m more interested in what’s under the outfit, to be honest.”

“You’re a nasty fuckin’ whore. You might get somethin’ if you’re lucky. Okay, I gotta go, but I’ll see you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, soon. Have a good night, stay safe,” Brooke signed off, relaxing slightly on her bed.

“I will. Bye, boo.”

“Bye.”

Brooke hung up, laying her head against the pillow and breathing out gently. Things were okay. She’d just had a wobble. She still liked Vanjie. They would be fine.

Before she could contemplate any more, her bedroom door burst open to reveal Yvie who marched in and perched herself on the end of the bed.

“Would a knock kill you?” Brooke rolled her eyes, too drained to be properly annoyed.

“Okay, talk to me,” Yvie demanded, her eyes full of concern. “You’re not fine. What’s up?”

Brooke knew she couldn’t lie to either of her flatmates, least of all Yvie. She groaned, unwilling to think any more about the situation but being forced to anyway. “Okay, it’s honestly nothing.”

Yvie said nothing, instead continuing to look at her, worry covering her face.

“When you began seeing Scarlet,” Brooke began unsteadily. “Did you ever…you know. Have second thoughts? Or any doubts or anything?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Yvie said instantly, frowning. “But I know where this is going.”

Brooke’s stomach gave a spasm, instantly feeling the guilt seep through her again. “I feel so shit…and I’m sure it’s just a blip because I’ve not seen her in ages. But everything’s just getting too intense too quickly, you know? I’m happy just chilling with Vanessa, but I feel like she wants a girlfriend and I’m not ready for all that just yet. I thought I would be, but I’m not. Actually I don’t know if I thought I would be or not. The whole thing’s fucking with my head.”

Yvie sat and listened to her ramble on, then when she was sure she was finished she reached forward and took her hand. “Okay. First thing is, you’re completely valid. Everyone gets second thoughts about a potential relationship at one stage or another.”

“You’ve literally just said you haven’t.”

“Ignore that. Do as I say, not as I do, or..whatever. It’s a big commitment, and it’s easy to freak out. But I would just remember…” Yvie began, her face becoming pained as she looked right in Brooke’s eyes. “…how long you liked Vanjie for. How many times you were so close to telling her you liked her, and how many times you shat out. How fuckin’ happy you must have been when you kissed for the first time or when you told each other you liked each other. Fuck knows when Scarlet told me she felt the same way as I did, my brain produced the most sorotonin that’s ever been in my body in my entire life. Like, if you think you want to end things with Vanj, that’s fine. But you need to be honest with her, girl.”

Brooke remembered the day she’d finally been brave enough to kiss Vanessa and how her mind had completely short-circuited as their lips made contact. She remembered how wanted Vanessa had made her feel the first time they’d slept with each other, and the complete euphoria Brooke had felt when Vanessa told her she liked her back. All of those memories just made her feel more guilty at the fact that she felt more worried about the prospect of seeing Vanessa than excited. Remembering her internal pep-talk from earlier, Brooke shrugged.

“I know. I’m being an idiot. And I don’t want to end things with her, that’s stupid. It’s probably all the time we spent apart, right? Like I’ll probably see her and it’ll all fall back into place and I’ll feel just like I felt before the holidays again.”

“Absolutely,” Yvie smiled a little as she reassured her. Letting go of her hand, she patted Brooke’s leg. “You good?”

Brooke didn’t allow herself to think too much about it. “Yeah. Thanks for the pep talk.”

“Come on, then. There’s pizza that needs eating.”

As Brooke rose from the bed and followed Yvie to the door, she felt struck by a sudden dread. “Yvie?”

The other girl turned around and looked at her expectantly.

“Would you mind if we just kept this conversation between ourselves?”

Yvie nodded reassuringly and held the door open for Brooke, Brooke walking through it quickly and reassuring herself with exactly the same words as she’d done before. Things were okay. She’d just had a wobble. She still liked Vanjie. They would be fine.

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