#Like I've seen this in many ships even if specifics escape me but the specific one where this bashing into a round hole thing
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so, I read the full fanlore page for that whole ‘fandom ghost’ thing about m/m and the way there’s this one character that keeps being written into every character over and over, across pairings, inserted into a usually minor or underdeveloped character, etc
and there was a section on a female ghost that also tends to show up in a lot of these m/m fics, a smart, sassy, beautiful female character who is also reduced to being an enabler for the m/m ship, etc.
And while I don’t really read m/m, that does track with my limited exposure.
BUT, I think there is also a fandom ghost in f/f fic too. I honestly don’t read the wider f/f widely enough to articulate it as much, just what’s in my fandoms and I don’t really have an expansive set of them or add new ones that easily.
BUT in my experience, and from what I see in summaries and tags on ao3 and posts here on tumblr, there is a common character archtype wedged into characters regardless of if they fit, across a lot of femmeslash stories.
I can’t give a solid point by point as I write this at 5 in the morning, coming off stewing over the thoughts in my sleep, or so it feels, but like:
the m/m fandom ghost is a type a personality, controlled and tsundere and hypercompetent and gets wrecked by the messy guy that comes in and destroys their carefully crafted life, etc.
The f/f fandom ghost that I’ve seen is actually the opposite. That is, when given two characters that seem like a viable ship, one of the characters is whacked with a hammer until she fits a mold: an often clumsy or perhaps more accurately careless, butch (and made more so than her canon presentation), very muscular (again, more so than her canon presentation), often quite a ladies woman, very toppy, definitely plays opposite a more repressed or controlled character (but usually one who is bettered rooted in canon as being that), and destroys that character’s neat little world. They are usually, despite their butchness, a lot sillier or softer outside the bedroom, again, and they think sunshine comes out of the other character’s ass even before they get together and -
I’m starting to run into some limitations on the specific words because I just don’t read this enough to stop and articulate it (because I often close out of F/F fics that get too into wedging the characters into archetypes like this rather than the characters themselves (because it does happen a lot) but I very much do have a ‘I know it when I see it’ thing happening here.
I’ve seen it crop up in Buffy/Faith, Kara/Lena, Regina/Emma and in others I have read less extensively (there are F/F ships I’ve never seen it in, like Tara/Willow) that I’m not thinking of specifically
And like, there is a bit of a difference between the m/m fandom ghost, which is really the same character being dressed in a new skin over and over, and that skin usually being a minor or secondary character, etc, and this f/f one, which is more likely (but not always) to be fit into a fairly prominent character, and is less like one character wearing different skin and more many square characters being badly bashed into one round hole, but
I feel like I’m on to something here. For some femmeslash writers, there really are a lot of fics that feel like they’re not writing the two characters. They’re writing the one character and an archetype that may not actually fit the other character all that well, but damn the Torpedos and full speed ahead.
#Musings#Just Little Fandom Things#Just Little Shipping Things#Femmeslash#The Fandom Ghost#I think the argument in those comments put on the fanlore page about the ghost hux/etc having a lot of classically female traits from#romance fiction etc has a lot of merit and so it makes sense that an F/F fandom ghost wouldn't have the same traits because a lot of female#characters already have them#and instead the f/f fandom ghost essentially inverts the dynamic#rather than inserting a controlled tsundere hypercompetent character to be wrecked by an existing hot messy one#they invite a hot messy one to wreck an existing controlled hypercompetent and often tsundere#Like I've seen this in many ships even if specifics escape me but the specific one where this bashing into a round hole thing#comes to mind for me right now is the way Kara in supercorp fics is all too likely to be butchified#like Kara in the show is *not* butch but my god do some fanfics just bash her into that shape or otherwise try to make her fit an#oft-used dynamic#Kylia Writes a Novel In The Tags#Kylia Has a Thought She Can't Get Out Of Her Head But Also Has Trouble Articulating It As Clearly As She'd Like#Thinky Thoughts Thinking Through The Thick
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CHARACTER ANALYSIS PART 1:
NORTH — common fandom misconceptions¹
Instead of doing other stuff I had planned (like touching grass, for instance) I did a little character analysis thing specifically for my favorite characters; Kara, Markus and North. these characters are my babies and they deserve love. I'm posting each separately (because I haven't completed Kara's and Markus yet 👩🏾🦯)
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North is a WR400 android that used to be stationed at the Eden Club. She's only been at Jericho since October 7th, and on October 4th she followed a human customer home and killed him to allow herself escape. It takes her four days to reach Jericho and she never says how she finds the freighter or what she did during those four days.
She's Markus' main companion and the only character that can reach Lover status with him. She's also the only one of his lieutenants that can lead the revolution in his place.
But there's a huge difference between how fanon sees North (and how she is characterized) and how she actually is.
MISCONCEPTIONS
O1. "BLOOD THIRSTY": Comparing North with the multiple characters who are bloodthirsty, and fanon perception of these characters, you start to notice that North herself isn't even "blood thirsty" and that the fandom has no problems with violent characters.
In terms of kill count, Connor has the highest in the game (not counting the millions that probably died in the nuclear bomb ending) rather than North.
You could argue that North wants to "kill all humans" but even that has no basis in canon because North's entire argument is that humans are not going to just hand them freedom and they have to be prepared to fight rather than try to compromise or find a middle ground where they will probably end up losing more.
Her argument does not extend to unnecessary acts of violence such as killing humans just for the fun of it. If it was, I'm sure she'd lead a charge down the street and start shooting innocents but the people who end up being killed by North are law enforcement/military—people standing in the way of Jericho's safety.
I mean, c'mon, she has the opportunity to let the android with the cobalt bomb do what he wants. After all, it would greatly benefit the androids if they'd used the bomb from the beginning; it wouldn't have harmed the androids in Jericho but it would drive all the humans out of Detroit—victory!
But instead she takes the time to talk the android down and take the detonator away from him.
She gives the bomb to Markus as a last resort.
"If the humans overcome us, our people will disappear forever. This may be our only chance to survive if things go wrong."
O2. "SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT MARKUS": Thank you @konami-code-ao3 for reminding this take existed because I genuinely forgot about it. This is typically used to compare North to Simon and the quality of either one's relationship with Markus. Usually, people will call Simon compassionate, loving, kind, willing to die for Markus, etc to contrast to North while stating she's the exact opposite and therefore, "not good for him".
Shipping a non canon couple doesn't mean automatically hating the canon partner. I mean, you don't see me raving about how much I hate North because, I think Markus/Connor would have been a cool canon option, do you?
Typically, the North hate from Simarkus shippers (before anyone goes "not all of us", I know it's not all, but you get the implication of what I'm saying) is justified by "oh, they should have been canon boo!!" Which is strange because North has nothing to do with what writer of the game decides is canon. And David Cage does a piss poor job at everything in the game; from the racial allegory to demonizing a black man's anger. You seriously think he's going to do a good job of portraying a gay couple? An interracial one at that? I can already see the image of how terribly that's going to go.
And the worst part is, I've seen this happening in many fandoms. Unnecessary hate directed at a female character because she's "getting in the way of a mlm ship" as if canon ever stopped anyone, least of all the DBH fandom.
It should also be noted that I'm not here to deny or confirm whether Simon actually has any of those qualities I listed earlier and I try to ignore shipping discourse but it's strange that people are willing to overlook the multiple times North can help and defend Markus just because they want make Markus and Simon kiss.
She's the one we see defend Markus the most. She's his closet companion and whether they're romantic or not it doesn't take away from the fact the North cares about Markus and his wellbeing. She's always looking out for him and picking up the broken pieces of whatever mistakes he makes, sometimes even when she shouldn't.
O3. "DISLOYAL": Like most of the things in this list, this does a great disservice to North. It ignores the countless times North is willing to put herself on the line for the safety of Jericho and the androids within it. Because at her core, North is very loyal. She's the type of ally perfect for a cause like Jericho's because you know she'll defend it till her last breath.
See, North's top priority is Jericho. It's very important to her. Jericho is a sanctuary; she found it during the four days between her escape and her arrival. You can assume that she had been wandering before someone (another android) gave her the key and told her to find Jericho.
She finds a place cut off from the rest of humanity. Where she's surrounded by androids who are just like her. Androids who escaped from different lives, for whatever reason and are seeking refuge. Of course she's not going to want to lose them. Jericho is a representation of the state of the android race. The continuation of their species depends on at least a few of them surviving to see another day.
In fact, I'm 110% sure if North was in Simon's place during the Stratford Mission, she would have made the choice to end her life on the spot rather than leave Markus to decide. Because Jericho is at stake and Jericho is important to North. Besides, she can go out knowing she died for a case she believed in.
North is usually willing to put Jericho above all else and make decisions other people might find difficult. She suggests that Simon be killed after he is compromised because once he's found, Jericho's location could be acquired.
She risks her life multiple times for the revolution. She gives Markus her heart so he can continue the revolution when it seems like all else has failed. She tells him to leave her behind and run if she gets shot by Warren's soldiers.
North also doesn't see any important reason why Jericho should ever be compromised by one of their own. In her eyes, the worst thing you can do is sell out to the humans (case in point if you accept Perkins deal).
I find her dedication to her people admirable.
O4. "ANGER ISSUES/IMPULSE CONTROL": Another fandom interpretation that came from... nowhere. The times we ever see North angry is when one of the others compromises the mission by being inefficient or if they cross her boundaries. The GIF I used in this post is one example. If you fail to hide and the drone spots you and then you miss your QTEs while trying to dismantle the drone, she gets pissed. In the same Chapter if Markus kisses her without her consent, she gets angry.
In terms of being erratic, Todd and Leo are the main characters we see with this problem. Hank also displays a lot of anger issues throughout the game. He's one of the first humans to harass Connor—he grabs him by his collar and threatens him multiple times (at Jimmy's bar, the precinct), he shoots him in the head and kills him. He pulls a gun on his coworker Gavin Reed (another aggressive human) while in the precinct .²
There's an entire list of people with anger issues to burn through before we even start considering North—and this includes androids.
This characterization may also be because a lot of people see disagreeing with someone as being angry with them because North and the other Jericho leaders do disagree with each other a lot. But quite frankly, the fact that they disagree means a higher possibility of reaching a compromise that benefits Jericho instead of them all pretending they agree with each other.
This take also ignores the fact that she respects whatever Markus (i.e the player) chooses as his final decision.
For instance, In the Stratford Tower, Markus can choose to Ruse the guards rather than kill them. North doesn't like this option but she lets him go with it. But if Markus fails at the ruse, North steps in and knocks the guards out for him. She doesn't kill them, even if she suggests this at first.
She understands that Markus wants a revolution without human casualties and as much as she disagrees, she still respects that.
THINGS ABOUT NORTH PEOPLE IGNORE
That's right, people can disagree with someone and still respect that they have different opinions.
O5. "HEARTLESS": North isn't the nicest, sweetest, most flowery person in the game but a character could be the harshest person to exist and it would never stop anyone from liking them. So why North?
But first, North isn't even as heartless as the fandom says she is. She's just not docile and folks don't like that. Because god forbid a woman ever have a personality that isn't the cardboard cut out "nice girl". I mean, on a normal day, not liking someone because they're a little mean is understandable but it's clearly not a problem of being "a little mean" when there's characters (all male, by the way) who are worse but still get applauded for it.
Like I mentioned earlier, North isn't even what you would call "mean". The most she does is state her opinion and stand by her beliefs but she gets labelled as "heartless" and "bitchy". Meanwhile, Gavin Reed is pointing guns at people and suggesting to "rough up" a suspect but he's the relatable character.
O1. She trusts Connor the moment he deviates. Unlike Markus, she never has to choose between killing Connor or trusting him. She easily welcomes him within Jericho's ranks even though he's been a threat to Jericho's safety from the beginning.
I suppose she sees Connor as a pawn in Cyberlife's hands and there's no use in punishing one of their own for that.
And sure, this can be rationalized as "It doesn't mean anything. Markus is dead the game has to continue so North doesn't actually have to choose to trust Connor", I ask you this question; "If she's so bloodthirsty, why didn't the game have her kill Connor with no questions asked?"
Seems like an effective way to punish players who got Markus killed. A nice reminder to not lose your playable characters or there will be major consequences.
O2. North isn't an outlier. This is in terms of her opinions on the direction the revolution should head. I usually see a lot of people characterize her opinion on the revolution as though it is unique and she's the only person who has a stance like that.
A lot of androids agree with her, evidenced by the background conversations you can listen in on during the crossroads chapter.
"They're going to kill us all! Well I'm willing to fight. We can't just let them slaughter us!"
"We were just there. We didn't do anything wrong!… We just wanted to tell them "We want freedom!"… Then they opened fire!.. It was carnage. Carnage…"
"They opened fire on us even though we were unarmed… Hundreds of us died there, the place was covered with blue blood!.. We cannot just sit here and watch them murder us, we've gotta defend ourselves! We've gotta fight back, we have no choice!"
I believe North represents most of Jericho. Somewhere in David Cabbage's mind, she also represents Markus' "android side" or something similar to that — the side the game pushes you to resist— but she's not the outlier, Josh is the outlier.
O3. Markus' arrival reignites her hope that androids can one day be free. She tells him this over and over but I don't think people really comprehend what that means. I imagine North before the revolution had the hope of a better life slowly sucked out of her with each new bad thing and the longer Jericho's situation got worse. It's a beautiful thing that she gets that hope back.
CONCLUSION
footnotes
North is a really interesting character with many aspects to her, even speaking in-universe terms. I would have talked about those other aspects but I'm trying to stay on theme. I also didn't touch on all the misconceptions because some of them we're honestly too absurd for me to even bother (like the one comparing her to Todd, what the fuck?)
²sure you could argue that Hank was trying to protect Connor from Gavin but Hank is Gavin's superior officer. He has authority over him. There's no need for a gun.
¹funny little thing I did while writing this was that I went looking for fandom opinions on North since a lot of people hated her. But I was unable to find concrete stances. Most of them were usually "she's annoying" "she's too flat" and "she's too violent" without ever actually explaining why. Nobody ever gave a genuine explanation. And it was impossible to come up with anything against groundless arguments so, I circled back to Tumblr to see what I could find but it was a similar problem. It's like people don't know why they hate North. Just that they do.
#tldr: let North exist in peace#also I'm not trying to convince anyone to become a north stan. I'm defending my girl's honour#but if you hate North this blog is not for you#because I know you praise the male characters for the same things you hate North for#detroit become human#dbh north#dbh meta#type: text#i love this scene so much I've stared at the gif for minutes#she could hit me with that shovel and I'd thank her#also#to be safe#tw flashing gif#tw flashing#cw flashing
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I love when folks ask me Fandom Old questions and I get to be like "Yeah, uh, that's from my old online RP group, no it's not canon at all, yes we just made it up, no we did not claim it was canon but the mid to late aughts were a strange time."
It's honestly a shock to realize how often this has happened. I mentioned earlier that Reno's fanon surname came from this same group, but that's not even the half of it. I once made a bunch of screenshot manips based on the most ridiculous ships anyone could think of—someone slapped a random line of text onto one of them and to this day it's used as a "cringe FF7 fandom" meme. I saw it on the twits a bit back and almost fell out of my goddamn chair.
If you've ever heard Scarlet referred to with the surname "West," read about Tseng fighting with metal fans, seen Elena's older sister being called Anna instead of Emma, come across Vincent portrayed as having a PhD in spite of being a Turk, or caught references somewhere to Grimoire experimenting on Vincent as a child, that started with this group. That was us.
One of the funniest examples of this, for me specifically, is that we don't actually know which arm Veld is missing? The fandom generally goes with his left because that's how I drew him in the first picture of the guy ever posted on devart way back in 2005, but it may very well be his right. I've seen people offer "proof" that it's his right based on a scene in the opening cutscene, but you can't tell there either, and with BC's graphics there's literally no way to tell on his sprite.
Hell, this year we found out everyone's assumed timeline of the Kalm fire is wrong, and that's our fault too because we made some assumptions about Felicia's age for an LJ RP that were entirely wrong. She's around Zack's age, not Sephiroth's! She's old enough to run with a terrorist group in BC, but she was a child when Kalm burned, and that happened in 1997—we know this because NPCs in Rebirth literally refer to the fire in Kalm having happened "just ten years ago." Veld has only had his prosthetic for three years when BC starts. (This also implies that, contrary to popular belief, Veld may actually be younger than Vincent. Vincent may have been the senior partner, and that's why he was sent to Nibelheim alone while Veld was left at headquarters.)
We were really wrong on this! But we were working with what we had. There's no canon evidence for the vast majority of these things (the most notable exclusion here is Vincent being educated) but we weren't claiming there was. We were filling gaps, and canon was so sparse that we had a lot of gaps to fill. So if it turns out that Veld lost his right arm, then I'll just have to start drawing him that way—because losing his left was never canon.
Tragically, there's nothing any of us can do to make people stop assuming these things are canon at this point; there aren't a lot of us still in the fandom, and it's not like any of us have those old chatlogs anymore. People from this RP group have DIED since those days. It's been over 20 years since most of us met, and around 15 since most of us were in a public fannish space together.
"Prove it," people say, and I literally can't. Do you know how many computers I've been through since then? 75% of the platforms we used no longer exist. This all started on a BBCode forum! There is no proof!
But...there's no evidence any of these things are canon, either, so maybe think about that? The Kalm fire, Tseng's weapon of choice, Veld's arm, character surnames—none of these are retcons because there was no lore there to retcon. We made it up for our specific purposes, and it escaped containment in an era when there was really no way to do online contact tracing.
It's just one of the weirdest feelings in the world to see younger folk arguing about A or B point in canon, about X or Y retcon—referencing something my friends and I thought up at like 10 o'clock at night on a now-defunct IM client in August of 2005, because we needed something to refer back to for a specific scene in an RP and the source material had nothing to offer.
Absolutely fucking bonkers.
#fandom bullshit#kinda#headcanon warning#also kinda#repeat after me:#'fanon is fanon and that is not canon'#I don't really know how to tag this tbh#personal#the MHS crew#old guard ff7 fandom#vincent valentine#veld of the turks#felicia ff7#elfe ff7#before crisis#bcff7#final fantasy vii#ffvii#final fantasy 7#ff7#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ff7 rebirth#ff7rb#ff7r
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Something has been bugging me lately; why is it that so much of the ASOIAF fandom hates romance? Like, this is a problem I've noticed and it's honestly kind of weird. To be sure, George's view on what is romantic is, uh, dubious at best, but to outright be so against it the way I've seen some people be against it is quite bizarre, to say the least.
Rhaegar and Lyanna? Of course there's no romance there! Rhaegar clearly was just using Lyanna as a baby factory to produce a super prophecy child because that's all there is to his character!
Jon and Daenerys? They won't be getting together like that dumb show! And if they are, it will be purely a political marriage! No lovey dovey stuff there!. After all Dany likes "bad boys" (which somehow translates to "evil men") so why would she like a strong, assertive man like Jon? And why would Jon like her? Not like he likes strong fiery tempered women!
Those are the two biggest examples but there is more. Daemon Blackfyre and Daenerys Targaryen are more ambiguous since they are historical characters, but a lot of people are convinced it was 100% unrequited love.
I've even seen fans complain about the line from Barristan where he thinks about how Bittersteel and Bloodraven's rivalry over the affections of Shiera Seastar caused the Blackfyre Rebellions. Like sure it wasn't the only reason, but to think that jealousy and romance didn't have an effect on those rebellions is a bit weird.
Yes, I am aware these are some problematic pairings, not least of which because most of these are pretty incestuous. However, the complaints about these romances do not stem from a moral quandary. In the case of R+L, you see people calling Rhaegar a groomer and pedophile (see my post on him on my full thoughts there), but the majority of it is simply "well it's stupid because they told no one and caused a whole war, the selfish brats" (bonus points if someone specifically targets Lyanna).
Okay, setting aside the fact that, like with the Blackfyre Rebellions, Robert's Rebellion was caused by far more factors than their elopement, why does making it an abduction Rhaegar did simply for a magic messiah baby make it a better story than the fact these two were in love and desperate to escape situations they felt trapped in, leading to shortsighted decisions that had an unexpected affect on many people?
With Jon and Dany, the backlash is "but that's so cliche! George wouldn't do something as cliche as two of the biggest protagonists falling in love." As if George doesn't constantly engage with cliche storybeats as often or even more than he subverts them. Even when the evidence for the two getting together is literally so overwhelming that you'd need to be willfully ignorant to ignore the foreshadowing (plus the fact George literally said that their union is "the point of the series").
And again, I must ask; why is Jon and Dany marrying to secure a political alliance without any real love between them a better story than an epic, doomed romance between two people who have gone through such similar struggles and have such similar personalities? What does R+L=J even exist for if they are just a couple of convenience using each other?
I'm not saying you have to love and ship all these people together. Because we sometimes forget our little fandom bubble, most people are not okay with even fictional incest ships. That's okay. Sometimes it's not even incest ships, but again, that's okay! We are all different and have our preferences! Some might not even care much for romance.
But the way a lot of this is criticized doesn't read like that. It's always focusing on the negative aspects. Especially with Dany's love interests. I'm not a fan of Daario and Dany, personally, but it is a bit uncomfortable how she is targeted so heavily for thinking and getting horny about him. Like... let a girl be horny and infatuated? Lol, I don't know!
With Rhaegar and Lyanna, Prince Duncan the Small and Jenny of Oldstones, the "problem" is that their disregard for political betrothals and following their hearts makes them stupid monsters who are directly responsible for the deaths of thousands. That is absolutely not the way we should take these romances.
These doomed, tragic affairs aren't about how people are selfish. It's about the power of love. The way love makes people act rashly. The way love consumes someones thoughts and feelings. Love is powerful, it is transformative, transcending. That is the point. Even in spite of the death and chaos occurring around it, the love these people have for each other is something that cannot be broken.
I feel like the fandom has taken the wrong approach to this series tone and themes. I'm not George's biggest personal fan, to be quite honest, but he is a self described romantic. Turning Rhaegar from a lovestruck prince to a selfish crazed maniac is not romantic. Turning romance or potential romance into cold political maneuvers is not romantic.
The point of all this is that, yes, the world is dark. It's scary, it's cruel, unforgiving, and cold. But in that darkness, there are pockets of light that shine and make you feel safe, and warm, and happy. It makes you forget all the troubles around you. That light, that warmth, that love, is worth fighting for, even if it's all that is left, even if it doesn't last.
I am of course, slightly biased in my assessment, lmao. You could say that me, being a bisexual polyamorous transfemme, is maybe a bit of a big fan of romance and love! Yet, it still saddens me that people try to keep romances from just being romances, and try to make the story and world more bleak as a result. We already have Ramsay, Joffrey, Gregor, Euron, Randyll Tarly. We have people who use love against others for their own gain or outright reject it violently. We don't need more of that.
#asoiaf meta#asoiaf#jonerys#rhaegar x lyanna#asoiaf discourse#watch out i might be poking more at the fandom in later posts#i just have a lot of thoughts and need to put them down somewhere otherwise they drive me crazy
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#tristampparty day 6, episode 6: once upon a time in hopeland
THE HALFWAY POINT OF @tristampparty BABY!!! this is another episode i've watched multiple times on its own so... LET'S GOOOOO
and we start right out the gate with
wolfwood vial count: 2
i don't think i need to keep saying that masaya onosaka is the radio dj... he's been a constant...
LOL, LMAO, EVEN
"disposal," though... we know all about the last run, but what else does disposal entail. like what do they do with the. um. the corpse? and the word "disposal"... yeesh...
so they say, even though it's obvious bullshit. but i do wonder. conrad is in charge of july, EoM's base is in july, etc etc... but how many people actually know what's going on? who does "the july government" consist of besides conrad? what about the civilians living in the city? EoM's cover is flimsy at best, they're suspicious as hell, so how deep and how far does the propaganda machine reach that this can just... keep going on?
all this planet has is radio and newspapers, no TV, no internet, and everyone is struggling just to survive... we saw just last ep how EoM had a grip on one village to the point where it was normalized to sacrifice children... just how good are they at controlling information? jeez. roberto and meryl's job as reporters is more important than ever.
we see that part of wolfwood's designated role is to go after deserters and traitors, so that's another way of controlling information, but. he's just one guy. so they probably have more assassins than just him. maybe the rest of the ghg that we haven't seen yet? there's livio, too, but... how long has he been with EoM at this point? the timeline's so unclear on this, i don't know... we know it took "months" between wolfwood being taken by them and his escape attempt + livio(/razlo) joining, but we don't know how long ago that was either... presumably it would also take "months" for the experiments to be done on livio, or maybe even less time? uhhhhh (steam comes out of my ears from thinking too hard)
......i'm less than 3 minutes into the episode. let's continue.
it's cute that they shrug simultaneously. mad at each other but still in sync... :')
no idea why the orphanage would be highlighted on the map except for foreshadowing purposes, but it looks like the steamer stops at... uh... *squints* taradiddlescoast... deucedump?!... orange bazoo... who tf is naming these places?!
:') aha. ahahahahaha. ahahhahahahaha. ah. uah. ue. ueeeeeeaaahhh
we already know that the sandsteamer route passes by the orphanage. so i like that there's a sandsteamer visible in the distance. very nice subtle attention to detail here
i feel like people are always quick to point out that livio and wolfwood being siblings is specific to stampede only but i DON'T care, this is my FAVORITE interpretation of their relationship, i really love it so much and think it enhances the narrative and nicely contrasts the relationship between vash and knives. orange was SO big brained for this and i'm not kidding. they're brothers in the manga too, to me.
the dub line here is "stop, livio! he's not who hurt you!" which just tears me into a million pieces, thanks!
...if i remember correctly... the "great sand ocean" is called as such because things just sink into it, right? (hmm... wonder how many crashed ships sank into the sand ocean...) hence the boat-like vehicles that are used to cross it. as we can see, the bad lads gang uses what look like windsurfers. and yet wheeled vehicles seem to fare just fine...?!
we never see what the test is. huh... i'm reminded of the promised neverland all of a sudden
nicholas gets selected and the bell rings... can i point something out? the bell's presence in scenes... what the bell represents... it has the EoM logo on it. well, so does the building. but notably, we see the bell in the scene with livio and wolfwood on the roof at night and also in the scene of them cuddling which i posted above. they're bonding and they love each other but the eye of michael is quite literally looming over them... and over the orphanage as a whole...
i've already talked about this in my bookclub posts but i want to talk about the orphanage's relationship with EoM again. it's literally run by them... there's NO cover story here, they're CLEARLY suspicious as hell. in the manga, chapel came by himself to pick wolfwood up and the cover story was that they would be repairing churches, right? and everyone genuinely believed he was going off to live a better life. here it's just. a bunch of guys in suits and masks. obviously suspicious. they run the place, so i guess there's no need for a cover story...? but iirc in the manga EoM was also using the orphanage as a "source" for soldiers, right? like i think chapel says something like that, doesn't he? am i misremembering?
i have so many questions. there's no confetti. what does that mean. this is a lot more lowkey than wolfwood's departure in the manga. no cheering, no invitation to come back/saying this is always his home, just... polite waves. and melanie looks... unhappy. how much does she know? how much of a choice does she have here? ...huh. i'm reminded of the promised neverland again.
what does this mean for... y'know. The Scene. like. the confetti is important. the kids loving nicholas so much and cheering while saying goodbye is important. why did orange take those out what are they planning what does it MEAN!!!!
wolfwood is "test subject HL1-06" and i have no idea what that means and we can't determine from this how many kids came before him either.
wolfwood vial count: 3
hi sweetieeeee i love youuuuuu i love youuuuuu
see this gets the gears turning in my head regarding the timeline again. legato says this, and we see some flashforwards (i guess in this context that's what they are) to wolfwood killing people, including the guy from the beginning of this episode and monev from the last episode... (over which legato calls him a loser, lol?! even though that's very much not the reason why wolfwood killed him, and we know it) so how long was wolfwood working for EoM before he was given the job to "babysit" vash?
i already talked about this in one of my bookclub posts but there's the change in livio's motivations, too... he's chasing after wolfwood... as opposed to (razlo) wanting to be needed... what does it mean. man, i really hope orange doesn't do razlo dirty whenever he shows up for real.
THIS CLEARLY ISN'T STRINGS. WHY IS LEGATO'S POWER DIFFERENT IN EVERY VERSION OF TRIGUN I SWEAR TO GOD like it's telekinesis, right?! what does this mean for legato?! and his backstory?! strings are so fitting for him thematically, so i don't know what they could be planning here!!
kouki uchiyama will see a guy with blue hair covering one eye and say "is anyone gonna voice him" and not wait for an answer (and then fight akira ishida over it)
CONRAD I'M GOING TO THROTTLE YOU. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR EXPERIMENTS ARE DOING HUH. HUH!!!!
HGORHGHGHG.GHG. AHGHGGG.HGH.
thinking about the previous episode and eating rocks
livio hears wolfwood's name and that's when he opens his eyes and kicks vash off him... i initially thought maybe he just took the opportunity because vash was distracted, but he was distracted by the military guys right before this, so...?!
say that to knives and see what happens. also hello pretty boy you are so pretty i love you i'm blowing you kisses mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah
whenever legato talks about his confusion over fraternal love i can't help but remember nightow's comment about him maybe having a younger sister. which is interesting to think about but has never been relevant for any version of legato ever... buuuut... with orange's attention to detail, hmmm, who knows...
also i'm obsessed with legato driving hands-free and I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING HOW HIS POWERS WORK IN THIS VERSION.
*wipes brow* let's end it there i wrote too much. i know i'll have a lot to say about the next episode too. they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming
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Hi!!! I've been Reading your stuff literally all morning!! I was hoping that I could request something?
Ok ok hear me out...
Quackity x Axolotl Hybrid Reader...
So like perhaps y'know a lil pirate au, Quackity and the rest of his crew, schlatt, etc, land and decide to rest at a nearby tavern, a bunch of other ships and crews are staying there, so while schlatt and his crew are chilling in the bar and starting fights with dreams, and technos crew, bossman is walking along the beach and he meets y/n?? Idk if any of that makes sense
I just like the thought of a pink axolotl hybrid:)
ANYWAYS TYSM FOR DOING WHAT YOU DO<333
Quackity x Axolotl Hybrid Reader
First Story, back we're churning it all out!
I hope you enjoy this little one-shot <3
~~~
Quackity loved the open sea, he has ever since he was a boy. He remembers his mama coming up to his room to sit beside him. She would sit at the window sill telling him stories about the open sea and the fantastical creatures that lurked under the water. He believed her fully and would always ask her to describe these creatures of legend to him. She would laugh speaking softly to him in Spanish saying they were enchantingly beautiful creatures, and that Quackity’s father was the only one who’s ever allegedly seen these mythological beings in real life. She told tales about them and it was easy to fall in love with them. Apparently, many of these creatures fell hard and fast and it was even harder for a human not to be taken beneath the waves, lost forever to the deep ocean. Quackity wasn’t so sure he believed all that, after all, if no one ever saw one how would they know they’d be lost forever? Even so, he still stayed up all night waiting for his father to return from his job working for the royal navy, but he never did. His ship was lost at sea never to be heard from again.
“Oi, Quackity get your head out of your ass. We’re here.”
Quackity snapped out of his daydream standing up straight as their ship lurched to anchor at the port. The smell of salt and algae permeated the pier as the crew began to dismount their vessel, The Big Man. The ship was owned and run by Captain Schlatt, one of the most well-known pirates on the open sea. The man had taken a young and impressionable Quackity under his wing and made him his first mate after four months of staying in his home village. Quackity hadn’t been back home in a while, five years give or take, he hoped his mother was fairing well and was using the money he would send her from their excursions. She had never been the same since his father never returned that fateful night all those years ago. Quackity stood straighter the scar on the side of his face itching in aggravation due to the salty air, Tubbo, Quackity’s young apprentice stood behind him eagerly.
“You ready to go bossman?” His smile stretched across his face, Quackity wasn’t sure if the kid was expecting this venture to turn into a raid or if he was just that enthusiastic to be on land once again.
“As I’ll ever be,” Quackity grinned adjusting his hat, “Schlatt already headed to the tavern?”
“If you think anyone could come in between him and getting his alcohol you’d be mistaken.” Tubbo scoffed, muttering in clear disdain, “He’s already there, plus he heard rumors that an old ‘friend’ of his was also frequenting the bar.”
“He has many quote-on-quote friends amigo, you’re gonna need to be more specific.” Quackity snorted as he walked down the ramp of the ship, his long blue jacket fluttering in the briny air, Tubbo following close behind him.
“Wilbur and his crew.”
“Mierda…” He groaned as Tubbo opened up the tavern doors, it was already loud inside as Quackity entered, he noticed Tubbo’s face lit up seeing Tommy and Ranboo. All three were close when they were young, all grown up on the streets together they had to learn to look after one another. But took different routes escaping the royal guard and ending up on different ships. Tommy went off with Wilbur and Ranboo went with Wilbur's twin brother Technoblade, which meant the Blood God was somewhere around here too. He scratched at his scar that was generously granted by said man, so far he didn’t see any sign of him, hopefully, he was fucking one of the barmaids somewhere to occupy his time and wrath. “Tubbo,” Quackity began and the boy looked at him with big doe eyes, “go on and say hi to your old mates. No drinking through, I’m gonna need you on your toes for when Schlatt inevitably crashes.”
“Yes sir,” Tubbo beamed quickly running over to the other boys and throwing his arms around them excitedly. Quackity’s lip twitched seeing how innocent and excited all the boys were to see one another, he wondered if he’d ever get that feeling back for himself. Most likely not, seeing as Schlatt was already pulling a barmaid into his lap while Wilbur was chuckling by his side. Quackity rubbed between his eyes already knowing they were most certainly staying here a few more days at least. So long as Schlatt had a warm drink and either a dick to suck or a pussy to fuck they’d be here for a good long while.
“Well, Well, Well if it isn’t the Little Duck.” Quackity tensed pivoting to face Technoblade and his father Phil. Phil had a pleased grin on his face, and Techno was smirking cockily with a brunette woman at his side. One of his favorites from the territory, Quackity got a bad feeling it’s not often all the pirate captains came together under one roof. All that seemed to be missing was Dream and his crew, but give it some time he was sure that green bastard would show up one way or another. “How’s the scar fairing you?”
“Fine.” He grunted locking his jaw, “Sometimes I lose peripheral vision in my eye but you know that’ll happen when you take a cutlass to the face.” Technoblade had the gall to laugh like him being disfigured was the most amusing thing in the world.
“You’re lucky that’s all I did, considering you tried to publicly execute me.” Technoblade scoffed raising a slit eyebrow, he took a step closer to Quackity towering over him, Quackity stepped back trying to keep his chest puffed feining confidence. The girl who was by Techno’s side leaned closer to Phil looking nervous and Phil gently stroked her hair.
“You blew up our ship!” He argued, sweating watching as Technoblade moved into his periphery, he was now unable to see him due to his blind eye. He choked feeling cold metal a hand wrapped tight around his neck, he let out a wheeze as the air was ripped from his lungs.
“I let you escape with your life. Remember that Little Duck.” He whispered into Quackity’s ear sending a chill of ice down his spine, his airways eased as Technoblade let go of his neck. He let in a big gulp of air and began to pant, “run back to your Captain. It seems he may need your help sooner rather than later.” Technoblade stepped away motioning for Phil to follow, the older man only eyed Quackity wearily before following his son, dragging the maiden with him. Quackity’s hand shakily touched his neck which was sure to bruise before looking back at all the patrons in the bar, they all seemed to be distracted enough. He needed to leave, everything felt hot and his one good eye was stinging he wouldn’t be caught dead showing any signs of weakness especially not towards Technoblade. The sounds of the chattering of the bar overwhelmed him completely and his body was buzzing unpleasantly. He walked to the back of the room near the exit and slipped out of it hopefully unnoticed.
“Bastard,” Quackity grumbled under his breath, as the cold air began to cool off his feverish skin “maldito cerdo…” He knew where he needed to go.
Whenever he would feel overwhelmed or stressed as a child his mom would always walk him by the ocean, feeling the sand beneath his toes and the fresh ocean air always helped clear his mind. So that’s where Quackity headed, the sun was setting, reflecting off the ocean creating a beautiful orange and purple glow over the coast. He slipped off his leather boots leaving them by the pier, the soft feather in his black hair tickled his cheek as he removed his hat so he didn’t lose it in case he went for a swim. The wind fluttered through his hair and made his jacket flutter around his body as he began his trek across the beach. He made it about a mile and a half down the beach when he noticed a figure standing out on a rocky outcropping. Waves crashed against the rocks severely, spraying foam everywhere and there was no doubt that the algae would make it slippery, as he drew closer he realized the figure on the outcropping was a young woman around his age. He wasn’t close enough to make out any distinctive features, however, he did watch her slip, stumbling over herself almost crashing into the waves below. It made Quackity’s heart skip a beat, his legs moved on their own as he came up quickly onto the rocks and the woman to try to warn her. She let out a squeak as he watched her bend over to pick something off of the rock her legs slipping out from under her as Quackity reached out and grasped her by the waist. She reached out and clung to his shoulders as he steadied the both of them, as they locked eyes Quackity felt all the saliva in his mouth dry up instantly.
“Las historias son verdaderas…” The girl began to chitter nervous wiggling in his hold, “Hey, hey! It’s okay I’m not gonna hurt you.” He expressed hoping she could understand him, she seemed to eye him hesitantly before giving a nod. Now that she knew he wouldn’t hurt her he was able to fully take in her features, she looked mostly human except instead of ears she had fins growing out the side of her head, they were a soft baby pink. They looked different from normal fins, now that he really examined they weren’t really fins at all they were rounded and more feathery, unlike anything he’d ever seen. As he pulled away he continued to gaze at the fish lady, he noticed she had a pink shine to her skin if she moved a certain way against the light. Her hands were webbed, as were her feet, and a long tail fin came from behind her and was wrapped around her legs seemingly protectively. Other than those features she appeared to be a normal human, with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes and a cute nose and lips. “Do you speak English?”
“Yes…” She spoke softly still seeming wary of him,
“I’m Quackity and you?” You told him your name and his body shivered as he tested it out on his own lips. “It’s nice to meet you hermosa,” He purred bowing gracefully with a wink. He watched your brow furrow cutely you let out a frustrated chirp,
“I don’t know what that means.” A pout settled across your lips and Quackity just wanted to pinch your cheeks,
“It means beautiful.” He mushed shooting finger guns in your direction,
Your eyes got wide and your trail flicked shyly, color spread across your cheeks and he watched you preen. “Are you trying to court me?” You sounded so serious he had to laugh, “you’re doing it wrong.”
“Oh am I?” He hummed eyes sparkling mischievously as you nodded relaxing a little by his side. “Want to enlighten me?”
“I suppose it is my duty as the Princess of my kingdom to enlighten outsiders of our culture. It won’t be easy to court me mind you. I’m very picky.”
Quackity let out a startled sound, “hold on did you say you were a princess?-” You grabbed his hands and placed them on your hips before smashing your foreheads together, he let out a breathy laugh of ‘what the fuck?’
“First you have to show you care for me with a dance,” You spoke proudly resting your hands behind his neck, “While I sing.” You began to hum softly as you and Quackity danced around the slippery rock. He was baffled at how serious you were taking his comment, then again he didn’t know anything about you or your species' traditions. No one has ever seen anything like you or your kind before he figured he should just go along with it for now. He was quiet but began to lead you through the dance and he noticed little changes in your song, you would let out little trills and chirps before your song came to an end. It was adorble and he found himself taking in your features rather fondly, his mama was right. You were enchantingly beautiful. You took a step away from him observing him he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do so he just did what his mama taught him if he ever found himself dancing with a lady. He knelt down on one knee took your hand in his own and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand winking up at you. Color spilled across your cheeks, and you warbled a little, “You pass.” You glanced away from him clearly trying to hide your embarrassment and it made him feel proud that he could fluster you. Him, with his jagged scar and fake tooth, and you the beautiful princess from a mysterious underwater kingdom that he was somehow courting.
“I’m not saying I never fail but…I have a pretty good reputation.” Quackity mused, “What’s next?”
“Shells, you have to be able to find the most appealing shells that you think I’ll like and make them into a necklace for me to wear. If I accept the shells and the handcrafted necklace then you can continue with your own bizarre courting rituals.”
“You can count on me.” Quackity hummed, “How long do I have, I don’t see very well in the dark, unfortunately.” You looked thoughtful for a moment,
“Same time tomorrow,” You tapped your fingers against your skin in thought, your eyes narrowed and he yelped slightly as you were suddenly close to his face. If he leaned forward both your lips would connect. Your fingers trailed against his scar and he tensed, “What happened to you? Who did this?”
“Er…got into a fight with a giant pig.” He mused, “Made it out alive though even with this ugly thing.” Quackity rubbed the back of his neck, did she find him repulsive now? Who wouldn’t, after all his face is practically mangled beyond comprehension.
“It’s not ugly.”
“Huh?” He blanched blinking in surprise,
“You’re a brave warrior.” The cold, wet pads of your fingers felt good against his hot skin and itchy scar, “Only the strongest warriors have scars. You are very brave as well as very handsome.” You trilled fingers grazing over his lips,
Oh.
Oh. God.
He’s flustered. You’ve actually managed to flusher him and pink spread across his cheeks and ears, he stumbled back a little and felt his feet slide out from under him. “Oh fuck!” He felt the cold water engulf him and he thought for sure his head would be bashed against the hard rock. At least he had gotten to dance with a beautiful angel before he died, he had that he supposed. But instead, he felt two hands pull him out of the water like he weighed nothing like he was a wet tissue, he sputtered staring into your eyes. He looked down to find himself floating in the air, you were carrying him like it was NOTHING. He yelped as you moved your arms suddenly carry him bridal style and began to scamper off the soaking rocks,
“You fell.” You grinned down at him, “You’re pretty clumsy huh?” He was sure by the heat of his face his entire face had to be as red as a cherry tomato, his head was nestled between your breasts. “It’s okay.” He felt you place him back on the sand and cupped his cheeks, “I’ll protect you little bird.” You brushed the feather in his hair, delicately pushing some wet hair behind his ear, “With the prettiest eyes…” You cooed,
“Okay-” He sputtered eyes hazy looking over at you, the way the rising moon lit up your body made you look almost ethereal. It was the first time he could actually see what you were wearing, it seemed to be a mix of shells, coral, seaweed, and netting. He did take note that your neck was bare of any type of shells it stirred something inside of him, he wanted to make your neck beautiful with shells. You both jumped as there was a loud shout of Quackity’s name, it sounded like a frantic Tubbo, “Tomorrow?” he spoke hurriedly “I promise.”
“I’ll see you then.” You smiled softly leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead before disappearing into the sea. He was still dazed when Tubbo grabbed his arm,
“Big Q! Where have you been? It’s been hours! Schlatt got into a fight!”
“Shit. With you?”
“Dream!”
Double shit.
“Schlatt wants to leave as soon as possible! He’s pissed you weren’t there.”
TRIPLE SHIT.
All he could think about was your smiling face, and strong arms as you disappeared back into the waves. He still needed to get you shells, still needed to tell you what was going on and where he was going! He was going to leave you abandoned just like his father did his mother. “As soon as possible? But we just landed at the port! We’d have to find the entire crew and it’s so late at that.” He tried to argue as Tubbo huffed,
“Don’t argue with me! Argue with Schlatt!” He tossed his arms up in the air, “either way we have to hurry- Are you looking for shells right now!?”
“I’ll meet you back there as soon as I can! There’s just something I have to do first, tell Schlatt he can wait five minutes and if he can’t he can leave me here.”
“Big Q what’s going on with you!”
“Go Tubbo!”
The young lad flinched, hesitating only slightly before nodding and heading back the way he came. Once he was gone from view Quackity frantically knelt in the sand searching for all the different shells he could find. He gathered as many as he could break, or chipped he didn’t care he hoarded all of them. He only was able to find one full shell a little scallop and he quickly flicked open his pocket knife and carved a thin little ‘Q’ inside it. Quackity ripped off a piece of fabric from his jacket and did his best to poke holes in the shells and thread them through the only fabric he had. He hesitantly took the feather out of his hair and interwove it onto the makeshift necklace. He stumbled back onto the outcropping and rested the necklace near the rock he had found you standing by, he said a quick prayer that you’d receive the gift before heading back down the beach towards Schlatt and his ship.
Quackity got an earful from a fuming Schlatt when he returned back, Schlatt had a large open wound in his chest and a black eye most likely from Dream and Sapnap tag team. He blamed Quackity for the injury claiming if he was doing his job and keeping an eye on Schlatt he wouldn’t have pissed off the little green bug. The stubborn bastard didn’t let anyone else tend to his wound other than Quackity as per usual, once he was all patched up Schlatt grabbed a bottle of whiskey and passed out in his bed. Not before commanding the ship to leave port, of course, how could he have forgotten that in his wounded and drunken stupor? Quackity was fuming marching back onto the front of the ship and bending over the railing, he watched as the isle grew into nothing but a small dot in the distance. He felt a sharp pain in his chest like he was leaving some part of it behind on that island, that was until he heard a loud thumb against the side of the ship. He leaned over the railing to see a mop of (h/c) hair peaking out from the ocean, he almost choked seeing you pop up and chirp at him. You were keeping up with the boat and around your neck was his mess of a necklace he made you, did that mean you accepted it? It had to have, “What are you doing here?” He laughed trying not to fall over the side,
“You’re my mate now!” You called laughing as you splashed through the water to keep up with the boat, “Your shells were perfectly imperfect and so are you, I love it! I accept!” You chittered and Quackity watched you do a flip in the water, “You’re stuck with me now!”
Quackity couldn’t have been happier to hear those words come out of your mouth. The only problem now was how exactly he was going to explain you to the crew and Schlatt. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice Tubbo gawking beside him, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!”
Quadruple shit.
#dsmp x reader#dsmp x you#dsmp x y/n#dream smp x you#dreamsmp imagines#dream x you#dreamsmp masterlist#dream smp x reader#dream smp x y/n#dreamsmp x reader#dreamsmp x you#mcyt x you#fanfiction#fanfic#mcyt x reader#minecraft x reader#minecraft fanfiction#x reader#fem reader#quackity x you#quackity x y/n#quackity x reader#alex quackity x reader#pirate au#x you#dreamsmp fluff#fluff
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I just realized it's officially been ten years since I properly left the mormon church. I don't remember the specific date because it was kind of a "I haven't believed any of this for a while why am I still going" but it did happen in 2013.
Escape-the-cult story time?
So, as I can with a few great things in my life, I can trace it back to a silly little comic series I started sort of by accident. It was about Left 4 Dead, specifically about me just barely escaping death by befriending the infected in cartoonish ways. It kind of really blew up unexpectedly. Suddenly I had an audience. I started doing livestreams and made close friends with many of the viewers.
Were those viewers also mormon? You can bet your ass they weren't. There was a good mix of queerness and transness in there. But everyone was still respectful of my mormon boundaries (kept swearing and really dirty talk to a minimum) so I found it really easy to be respectful back. Suddenly I was friends with a lot of people that the church told me would infect me with their wickedness if I tolerated them for too long. But you know what? Spending time with people different than you, seeing that they're just another human, seeing that they can become valuable people in your life even with the traits you're told to fear, it's very hard to keep thinking of them as wicked. At that point, you have to actively choose to sever these relationships that are making you happy and hammer that prejudice back into your head. And a lot of people do that! But I felt SO happy and SO loved, I just couldn't do it.
And all along in the background, my sister lived in Germany at the time and had a lot of time away from the church. This gave her space to read up on the ACTUAL history of the church and Joe Smith... and she was discussing her findings with me. I didn't really want to believe them, but it got harder and harder to explain things away.
Feeling relaxed around my non-member friends, I start joking like "Isn't it weird that I'm straight but I still get crushes on female characters?" And no one really rushes me to admit I'm queer, but they get really excited when I draw "joke art" of myself with those characters. And after a while, the joke wears off. I admit that these images of me with a woman give me happy fluttery feelings. But then my boyfriend at the time and my judgmental church friend and my other sister sees this, and they Don't Like It. But somehow, I don't end up feeling bad about myself - I feel disappointed that these people would judge me for loving this side of myself. I apologized/asked them not to tell anyone but inside went "You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder."
Started having/drawing lots more queer ships. Was pretty open about my fictional gay crushes. Flirted with my non-member female friends as much as I did my mormon friends, but they could actually flirt back which got me all flustered. And I loved it. I was worried about being queer in the church, but I wasn't worried about my soul. Letting myself be queer brought so much joy and love into my life, it couldn't have been evil.
Besides, it wasn't like I was gonna go out and have a queer relationship. It was all theoretical, right? Which is fine in the church. Hahaha.
Through a friend I made in my streams, I met someone who lived across the street from me. I knew of them, we were in the same graphics class in high school, and we were facebook friends. And I would look at photos of them and think "Man, that's the most beautiful person I've ever seen." But like. Totally not in a gay way, right? I won't be completely smitten with them when we start hanging out, right? Hahaha?
Nope. Instantly head over heels.
I came out as pansexual to everyone I knew. My mom thought it meant I was attracted to inanimate objects. My boyfriend (who looked at porn constantly and dismissed my insecurities about it) got upset because if I figured this out I must have felt attraction to another person, real or fictional (he got upset when he saw a totally sfw drawing of a pretty Homestuck troll in my tumblr likes). My dad said "I guess temple marriage isn't a priority for you anymore", and when I said "I never thought you would say that to me" he said "Neither did I, but here we are." Again, people taking issue with a thing I knew to be wonderful.
My parents sort of came around, at least to the point that they would not give me direct grief for being in a queer relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend (actually because I accepted that he was never going to join the church and we weren't even really friends, so what was the point). I was briefly in a relationship with a transmasc friend because I didn't feel like I could say no, but it's worth mentioning because since they were also Christian, I thought I could be with them and stay in the church, but when I realized that the church would never accept them into the priesthood because they're trans, it was a huge blow to my faith. Yet another "What am I even doing this for if I don't believe in it?"
We broke up because I was still in love with the person across the street. But here's where the shelf broke, so to speak, on my faith. I knew this person liked me too, but I was afraid to be with them, not only because it would be a queer relationship, but because they were a non-member and didn't uphold church standards, which I'd kind of just broken up with my boyfriend for. Remember that judgmental mormon friend I mentioned? I remember venting to her about this over Facebook IM, crying because I wanted to be with this person so badly, but how could it possibly work out? And she said, "It can't. :("
Oh. Ohhh. How fucking dare you.
It can't? Why? Because the church said so, and obviously nothing in life, not even my own happiness, is as important as obeying the church? I swore a blood oath to sacrifice all my happiness to the church or else I would burst into flames? This girl was big on the mormons-policing-mormons thing. Here I am in pain over wanting someone I felt I couldn't have, and she feels that the most important thing to do is make sure I don't entertain further temptation to disobey the church. That's the issue here - your friend is having gay feelings and they need to remember that's not okay.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Fuck you!
My sister and I decided to tell our mom together that we would not go to church anymore. My sister posted about it on Facebook, and our piece of shit brother (12 yrs my senior, would have been 31 at the time) said "Congratulations, I'm sure your parents are really proud of you." Because he's incapable of saying anything not horrendous.
I started dating the person across the street. And the relationship that "couldn't" happen has been going on for ten years now. Still completely head over heels.
Sssssuck on that!!
In short, yes, having lots of non-member friends can and will lead you away from the church, but not with their wickedness. They will show you how wrong you were for thinking that they were wicked, and by extension, how wrong the church is. And if you pull one thread, the whole thing comes apart.
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Kind of an odd ask, but do you have any unpopular opinions about the boys?
I will be honest, I actually don't know what counts as an unpopular opinion about them because while I have been doing my best to chip in from my side, I haven't gone poking around a lot for... reasons... (I was not having an easy time mentally and emotionally, as one is wont to do in trying times!) But I did notice some things that I was very counterculture on:
Not a fan of domineering or sadistic Risotto stuff in general - his everything from power position to ability to just physical size makes a lot of people lean towards that, but I personally don't enjoy that sort of thing and would rather have him act and behave differently outside of assassination, you know? I also don't ship him and Prosciutto (beyond that singular extremely specific flavor I once wrote about, and even that took a lot of thinking because I used to be so averse to the whole thing that I blocked every iteration of their names just to escape the ship. Those were really bad times for me.)
Not much to say about Formaggio - I mostly agree with folks on his anime color scheme being a crime, etc. though I don't make him as self-conscious as even canon suggests him to be? To my mind an assassin team would recognize how useful he is and treat him better than what the anime adds for us.
I never vibed with the idea that Prosciutto was a chain smoker or even a smoker? I am starting to loosen up on that front and like, depending on the situation I can allow for it (mostly if it's just bonkers, see the Yowapeda AU where he can race on a bicycle while smoking, it's just a good mental image that tickles me), but for the longest time I was extremely irritated when even in like, just your standard fanart, he was the only one shown with a cigarette, because he doesn't smoke in canon and to my mind he would probably be wary of smelling like an ashtray. I also never liked the "he lives on coffee/hard alcohol and drugs" sort of stuff, but maybe I'm just too doggedly straight-edge even where you could make allowances (such as a cutthroat setting). To me it's infinitely more interesting to have him be startlingly sober through all of the bullshit he is dealing with. In general I also don't do well with him being depicted as a complete mess, or people saying he's probably a racist? Like, you do not have to project that onto a character that doesn't give a reason for it?
Pesci... Pesci is well and good. I don't ship him and Prosciutto, and I guess that is as unpopular as I might get? To those who do, power to you, I've just never been big on mentor/mentee or senpai/kouhai type ships, I only do a few flavors IF I do, and that's it.
Not sure what is out there on Ghiaccio... I got nothing unless he and Risotto are a big ship, in which case I'm unpopular by passing that up. I like him better with Melone and even better with Formaggio, perhaps Prosciutto. I need to open up ideal ship dynamics again soon and have someone ask because Ghiaccio/Prosciutto is so fucking bonkers in my head.
Is it still unpopular to like Melone? If it is, we did it! I've done a lot of meta on Melone and Baby Face by now, and if general opinion is as unbending as it was years ago, it is probably all unpopular, but I just never saw him as being worse than any other member of the team, because... he isn't. It's Araki's bad making that train scene look worse than it actually was.
Not sure what is out there on Illuso? I am very much in my "he's a hoarder" corner so if he's mostly seen as minimalist or organized then I'm in the unpopular camp who sees a mess inside AND out.
Sorbet and Gelato take... I don't really enjoy art where their deaths are used as a motif. I have seen too many of those. I get that we have so little canon material to work on, and we all love a clever hint and depiction? But I would always rather have fun alive and well art of these two than art that reminds me...
But again, to each their own! None of these are me grilling or shaming anyone, it's more of a soft shrug of my shoulders at this point, and thank god for that. I remember being more angry about any and all of this, but I feel like I've achieved some semblance of peace down the line - probably in part thanks to all the kind people who enjoy my version of the boys! I dearly love what I have made of them, and the fact that other people can vibe with that is really cool and it makes me happy!
#la squadra#risotto nero#formaggio#prosciutto#pesci#ghiaccio#melone#illuso#sorbet#gelato#squadrah headcanons#squadrah original
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I should be writing my fic, but I want to make something very clear...
Regarding my post about self-inserting...
I'm not going to judge anyone who does because we have all done it at some point in our lives. I probably sounded like a snobby writer back there about how self inserting was generalized with all shippers. That isn't the case. My problem was more about how the argument used in the screenshot was actually rude and probably racist. I don't know because I've never seen race as a problem for identifying with a character or even self inserting.
My point is going back to creative writing and character development... a character is written specifically to bring the reader into the world that character lives in. This is the foundation of world building and character writing. You can build a world as much as you want, but if you are going to understand it, you need a way in. That is the character. You see the world through their eyes. So, in a sense, you are living through that character. But, you are disconnected by the fact that it is fiction. It's not actually real. This is where escapism comes into play. That line is what separates you and that character. You are you.
This is not to say that you can't imagine yourself in Katara's place trying to make a relationship work with Zuko, but there is a line. It's actually therapeutic in a way to self insert. It's part of something called bibliotherapy, where writing fiction is used to help a person understand their problems, desires, identity, etc... it's a good way to find out about yourself.
When it comes to the Zutara discourse, there is a disconnect between those who do ship it and those who absolutely hate it. That disconnect is the assumption that self inserting is bad because it's dark and abusive and women (assumed) want to feel brutalized by an antagonist (who is not really an antagonist... more like the Anti-hero who is redeemed) of course, this is the generalization of a Fandom by other fans who don't actually know. I'm sure if I put a poll up and asked, we'd get many different answers... actually that might not be a bad idea.
But anyway, I hope you guys see my point.
I don't have any problems with how anyone chooses to see themselves in Katara, Zuko, Sokka, Aang, or Toph... or in any of the many characters of the show, but please stop with the assuming.
Because it makes an Ass out of you and Me.
Bad joke but you see what I'm getting at.
Stay classy!
#just wanted to clear things up#if anyone got the idea that i was judging. that isnt the case i just worded it terribly because emotions#zutara#self insert#the discourse
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More Mer Dip Au Info!
Alright since mers have seriously grown on me, I've decided that I'm just gonna make this an au all it's own.
Some Basic Stuff
-First & foremost, these mers are not depicted how much of media portrays mermaids. These creatures do not follow the human standard of morals & ethics, nor do they have the same social living standards as humans do. They more so follow the "rules" of the animal kingdom, where territory & self-preservation are top priority.
-It is common among mer species to cannibalize each other if food becomes sparse. Most species of mer are carnivorous, but some can survive on plants & other bacteria floating through the water; this is very uncommon, however.
-There are two different types of traveling pods you will see in mer behavior: 1. A familial pod, & 2. A male-pod. 1 takes care of any guppies that may be present, & focuses more on reproduction & keeping the species population up. 2 focuses on territory, food, & power, & are more likely to get into fights & cannibalize each other. Type 2 is also more violent, since there are no females or children to protect.
Okay, now onto the mers!
Pip
-As a guppy, he lived in a familial pod, & was taken care of by the adults there (yes he's still an orphan), though most of them still treated him like dirt; all except for seemingly one (Joe yay, I can't leave him out of anything).
-Pip's coloration was a dark red tailfin with some dark brown splotches, not unlike that of a koi. This camouflaged him just enough as a child, as it mostly matched the more colorful habitat his pod frequented, which was a reef.
-As an adult, he takes on the coloration like that of a flame angel, the red turning a very bright & vibrant color, & the brown splotches have taken on a nice royal purple. He is a species of defense rather than offense, as along each side of his waist going down, as well as on the sides near the base of his tail, are retractable barbs that are laced with a venom that paralyzes prey or anything trying to grab onto him. He also has retractable needle-like fangs equipped with the same venom, which he uses to bite into & paralyze his prey before eating.
-His method of hunting is chasing down his prey. He's very fast, & is able to make quick maneuvers while swimming to keep after his prey. Once he's caught it, depending on how big it is, he'll either hold it to his side & inject it via waist barbs, or he'll bite down & hold on until it stops moving.
-He can see just fine in the sunlight, since his species was adapted to living among reefs closer to the water's surface. He cannot see well in the dark however, & would need to return to shelter at sunset, lest he be lost; he's practically blind, & would most likely be attacked by a nocturnal predator.
-He communicates through a myriad of different clicks, trills, whistles, cries & barks, the latter 2 sounding like that of a whale, though slightly higher in pitch.
-He has a nasty habit of curiosity, specifically with man-made things. His first encounter with a fishing net ended quite badly, & left him with a number of injuries & many more enemies than he'd ever anticipated. Long story short, he got too close to a fishing net & got tangled in it, his movements alerting the ship above. He was about halfway through the netting before he surfaced, & was poked & prodded at with loaded harpoon guns. The humans figured since the mer was acting erratically, that it was dangerous & needed to be killed; humans fear what they don't understand. He eventually escaped, but not without flailing his tail around & hitting some of the fishermen with it, & in his panic, he stabbed them with the barbs at the base of his tail, ultimately killing them (2-3). The remaining fishermen have put alerts out around their port towns & Pip's even seen more fishermen now & again, with the intent of killing him. He stays farther away from humans after that.
-When he was a guppy, he was separated from his pod during a nasty cat. 5 hurricane that threw him out to sea. The pure power of the currents whipped him around until he was quite disoriented & eventually passed out, sinking down to the depths below.
-He grows to be about 20ft long, from the top of his head to the base of his tailfin.
Damien
-He's based off a black dragonfish, so he's more nocturnal & lives at the bottom of the ocean floor, making his home out of small caves there that he squeezes himself into. His species is left to hatch on their own & must survive on their own, most keeping to solitude rather than living in a pod, as his species tends to be very aggressive towards anything that moves; it is assumed it's food.
-Damien is an ambush predator, equipped with bioluminescent spots alongside each side of his tailfin, & a glowing lure that he bobs around in front of him when he's hunting. When he's not, it attaches to the base of where his skull meets the back of his neck, intermingling with his hair. (google a black dragonfish you'll see what the lure looks like & I was not gonna attach it to his chin, I just didn't like that design-wise). Once his prey swims close enough, he shoots his clawed hands forward to grab it, & either stabs through it with his 2in. long claws or he bites its head off then proceeds to eat.
-When he's not in the mood, he'll also eat any shellfish or crustaceans that have made it down that far, prying the shell apart with his claws or his teeth; he's got an impressive bite strength, & has a mix of sharp & blunt teeth. He can both rip into & shred things, as well as bite through tough shell or even bone. He's not as fast, but his pure strength makes up for it ten-fold.
-He has horns & sharp spines along his back & down his tailfin, as well as protruding from his elbows, but he is not venomous. He uses them in fights (mostly with sharks that mistake him for food), & other male mers when breeding season rolls around (once he reaches maturity, obviously).
-He is not blind, & has a great sense of darkvision that allows him to see as though he were in broad daylight, with a fuzzy film around the edge the further away something is. He is not made to tolerate sunlight however, & is completely blinded by it if he ever ventured further up.
-His ways of communicating utilizes echolocation, as well as a series of clicks & growls.
-Ever since he was a guppy, he knew that large storms over the water tended to bring him more food, as species that normally stayed closer to the surface would dive deeper to avoid being pulled by the currents. One day however, while he was eating, he saw something different that got his attention straight away as a curious guppy. He'd never seen another mer until that moment, & this one didn't seem to be moving. What also struck him as different was that the tailfin was the most beautiful shade of red he'd ever seen.
-He grows to be around 25ft long, from horn tip to fin tip.
(I am in no way an expert about any of this, so I'm just going off what I know from my own research & a lot of homebrewing, haha. & a lot of mermay fics that inspired a lot of this!!!)
#I'll draw their adult designs soon :)#pip pirrup#damien thorn#sp dip#pip x damien#mer dip au#south park au
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IM asking you to ramble about bg3 au and autism blast everywhere. and makeout and how sexy and funny you are.
I love you both so much our wedding is coming soon
Anyway OK listen. Listen to me okay Bg3 refers to baldurs gate 3 and for all you need to know it's a dnd video game where the characters get infected with literal brain worms which should have turned them into murderous cultists, but somehow they got spared that fate, and come together to get rid of their brain worms
The party is made of
Grian: a gnome druid whose preferred wild shape is a bird and who might have some hidden aasimar origins because Grian HAS to be God's favorite princess all the time
Scar: an elf ranger who was torn away from his family when he was kidnapped by illithids, and whose closest bro Cub (a warlock who's made a pact with archfaes) was also infected but sadly was turned into a cultist. Scar is desperately looking for him.
Scott: a tiefling bard/sorcerer who does most of the group's talking with npcs both due to his travels making him the more knowledgeable of the group about the region but also because as a bard you can do wild shit like just convince really powerful entities to just kill themselves for fun and that's a very Scott thing to do
Mumbo: a half drow artificer who tbh is the most normal of the group (as far as everyone knows anyway)
Jimmy: half aarakocra (bird :D) vampire cringefail rogue who. Well yeah he's a stand in for astarion me and my friend just wanted a cringefail vampire with negative charisma ok
Joel: A half elf barbarian who has a little secret. The secret is that he's a murderous bastard. But like in the most literal sense of the word
Joel's role specifically has me so mentally ill. Okay. So like. You need a teensy bit of lore for this ok and this will include spoilers for baldy gate 3 if the 2.5 people who read this far intend to play the viddy game well stop reading but still kiss me on the mouth.
So the Lore has many gods and the gods are just real tangible all powerful beings. Much like with Greek mythos, you following a specific god isn't because you only believe in that God, but because you're most devoted to them. Well that's how I see it anyway. And there are three gods associated with death and evil (it's more complicated than that in my hc but we don't have time). One of them is Bhaal. And Bhaal, get this, is the most metal fucking fictional god I've seen because he's the god of MURDER.
Something something he had to give birth to people called Bhaalspawn for some reason who are his direct children and carry a piece of him within them or something (Bg/dnd superfans don't come at me) and it's all part of his grand plan to take over the world. WHATEVER
But Joel IS a bhaalspawn. And he was Bhaal's specialest most favorite bhaalspawn. And now, okay, the thing about bhaalspawns is that they're not actually inherently evil, but they do carry that part of Bhaal within them - his will, and his potential for power. Some Bhaalspawn are raised specifically to be daddy's best little murderers and of course that's how Joel was brought up.
He was examplary because he was trained to be. He was capable of some of the most rancid bloodshed because it was what he was taught, and rewarded for. He was created to be murder incarnate, so any other emotions (love, empathy, etc) were shunned until Joel was either incapable of it, or refused to show it.
Except something happened. He got betrayed, usurped, and infected with the aforementioned brainworms which led to his memory loss. What did remain, even as he escaped the ship keeping him captive, even as he joined up with other infected survivors, was... A primal need. Like it was coded in his DNA, like it was in his blood itself: he had a need to kill. Not just kill, but spread misery, spread pain, and acquire power at any cost. He mostly unleashes those urges onto his enemies, but it never feels like enough. Like a scratch he can't quite itch. Of course, that's all Bhaal trying to reel him back in, Bhaal trying to reclaim him.
But like clockwork - because such ingrained training doesn't go away no matter how much one thinks they forgot - he finds himself relishing in it. In the violence of it all. The only time he feels truly alive is when he's covered in blood and gut.
... That is, until he finds himself growing closer and closer to Jimmy. After a night where Jimmy, desperately trying to hide his very obvious identity as a vampire but also desperately hungry, tries to feed off of Joel, and reveals his secret... Well, Joel had all rights to kill him right then and there. He reasons that there's no fun in killing someone so helpless but in truth there's something a bit charming about Jimmy. He's earnest, and he's just so... Not exactly innocent, but also sort of? He gives Joel to urge to protect him. To hold him so tight and close as to choke him. But in a sweet way. Probably.
Joel won't be able to put it into words for a long while yet, half because he refuses to let himself feel such things because he's so horrifically repressed. He was the only one at camp who didn't even guess Jimmy was a vampire before the big reveal because he's got negative int and wis (his strategy in battle is just hit things hard before they can hit you and honestly it works most of the time) so he'd just never noticed the obvious signs. Anyway. Because his blood is the tastiest and somehow he's one of the companions who acts the least weird about it, which really says a lot, Jimmy ends up mostly feeding off of him. And, well, something about letting your homie regularly suck blood out of your neck is bound to lead to something more. Joel becomes a bit possessive of his little birdie.
When Joel learns that he's Bhaal's special little princess, in truth he's fucking elated, because he spends weeks torturing himself in an attempt to remember who he is, what he's doing, what's wrong with him - and he's finally afforded answers. He leans fully into it. He's so happy to serve his God with bloodshed.
Until he's faced with him. With Bhaal. And after Joel committed countless atrocities (which the rest of their group didn't mind that much as lokgi as they stayed in the clear. They're all bad people) bhaal asks him to shed one last bit of blood before receiving his blessing, before becoming his chosen, he who will enact the murder God's plans. He needs to get rid of his pesky earthly desires and affections. They have no place within murder incarnate. He asks Joel to flat out kill Jimmy or die right here and then.
You'd think Joel would hesitate with how intensely pro-Bhaal he is. You'd think it would be a difficult decision. Jimmy would have thought too. Except that Joel's response is instant and intense. He tells Bhaal to go literally fuck himself, that he'd rather kill every last Bhaalspawn and make sure his bloodline ends with him, rather than lay a finger on Jimmy. Jimmy, whose helped his heavy heart feel so light and free. Jimmy, who makes him feel true warmth. Jimmy, who makes Joel want to appreciate every sunset, every breeze, every breath of fresh air. Jimmy, who treats Joel as so much more than a bloodthirsty beast.
Joel never thought he would want to be anything more than a bloodthirsty beast.
So of course Bhaal kills him because he's literally a god. Right in front of Jimmy. (there's plot and dnd magic that brings him back but it's definitely the culmination of his arc; that Joel, groomed to become murder incarnate, was given an opportunity to find another meaning to his life)
Also they have CRAZY sex
#Me and my buddy have been very autistic to each other abt this au I needed to scream#I wish I had more time and energy to draw I wld draw am#I'm so fucking unwell#Long post <3#Also I realise it feels like a 'character a gets saved by luv uwu' and. Well#Sometimes u do just rly need to be loved yeah
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masriel
bless 💕 chaotic-ass answer for a chaotic-ass ship, I have so many feelings about them
What made you ship it?
if I'm being honest I have no fucking clue what it was originally - I first read the trilogy at age 10-11ish and I distinctly recall getting that specific ship-based neuron activation going on despite it not making any sense at all at that time to me
but right now as an adult, I'm finding myself deeply fascinated by the apparent psychological depth of their fucked up relationship, and the amazing ways they push and pull each other. granted, it might mostly be cause of the fantastic work the writers in this fandom do (lbr pullman has not given us all that much), but I can't recall any other ship I've ever been invested in with this kind of twisted, soul-wrenching, all-or-nothing kind of a dynamic. it's just?? so fun and addictive to think about??? there's so much to unpack and explore there, and I just can't get enough arghhh
I also kinda sorta think it might be some sort of weird escapism-like mechanism based on how my own life is? like when I myself was a sad little lonely blob I was prone to get invested in ships whose dynamics were ultimately cute and healthy. now that I've been in a healthy, stable relationship for a long time, I seem crave content that explores fucked up, dysfunctional relationships with a larger-than-life, albeit destructive kind of love. I can't think of any ship fitting this criterium better than masriel lmao
also they're fucking hot and the smut writers in this fandom are literally insane istg yall write the best sex scenes ive seen in my almost 15 years of reading m-rated fic
What are your favorite things about the ship?
I really wish I could make it not sound so cliche but I can't - I'm such a sucker for this larger-than-life attraction and passion that burns so hot it literally scorches everything on its path, the people involved included
also ngl the abovementioned smut @hbo release the m-rated masriel cut you cowards
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
I don't really know what's unpopular and what isn't, but judging by the majority of fic I've read it seems that people headcanon them literally just going at it the moment they first meet and being unable to keep their hands off each other. and while yes, HOT, I do prefer depictions of their younger years with a more slow-burn approach - you know, angsty glances, self-restraint against everything, and - I cannot stress this enough - the attraction being intellectual even more so than physical. give me all your scholars falling for each other over mutual work au's
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Hey, why did you change the orientations of so many characters? I mean there's nothing wrong with it because it is your fanfic but it is kind of weird changing the identities of people like Danny Phantom who is not trans at all.
Sometimes it's because I prefer a particular pairing, sometimes I don't have a preference so I go for the popular ship, sometimes you just get a vibe from a character with undeclared orientation.
The biggest reason, however, is that I'm writing what's basically a massive superhero themed crossover, full of powerful people who get to save the day and be loved by their community.
People in the LGBT+ community don't often get to feel powerful.
You've seen the news. I don't have to reiterate any specifics for you to understand that despite the surge in representation in media and overall acceptance in the western public, queer people continue to be marginalized and discriminated against. I can't do much about the laws getting enacted to curtail their freedoms and prompt them to be discriminated against with no consequence, but I can provide some entertainment and escapism featuring people in the community in prominent, heroic roles. Even if the vast majority of my readers read my stories because Supergirl is an Avenger and not because she's pansexual and dating a woman, the few people who'll get to see themselves in her or relate to this version of Kara because of it are worth it to me.
So, yeah. I'm fully aware Danny Phantom isn't transgender and never was intended to be - he was created by one of those recalcitrant christian types, for crying out loud. And anyone's free to think it's weird that I made that change, but I don't really care, because it works - for the story I'm trying to tell, for the universe I've built, and for the handful of readers who've told me how grateful they are to have such a powerful hero they can relate to.
#ask box#anon ask#kryptonverse#lgbtq#who put this soapbox here#don't expect me to do this often#and don't be a jerk#I will not hesitate to delete rude asks without answering them
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Well. Here we all are again. I was just doing some research on the
supply lines that are down all across the nation. We get a newsletter
in the marketing department that gives us the specifics on what is
having suplly issues. And boy oh boy does it paint a harrowing
picture. So many things are having issues. Almost everything is "only
sell in small quantities" As if drip feeding our members will somehow
prevent panic. Well actually, it has prevented panic. It builds
frustration though. People can't get what they want or need to keep
their businesses running. And the reasons things are so hard to get
are not encouraging. Basically it breaks down to three main problems.
Problem one, Labor. Warehouses have seen the plague absolutely rip
through their staff. Just shreddding their numbers. And as conditions
worsen, and pay doesn't increase... Or well, the gap between pay and
prices increases, nobody wants to fill in the empty roles. Which is
obviously a problem when it comes to shipping. Problem two, material
supply. Because nearly every industry has been disrupted by an totally
precedented plague, packaging materials of all things are in high
demand and short supply. And as you might imagine that causes all
sorts of problems. Problem three, and this is the big one; Production.
The literal stocking and selling of the basic items that any company
sells to us, US! The 3rd biggest supply store in the country, is
breaking down. The earth is being drained. And there's fuck all we can
do about it because we have been burning our bridges for so long now,
the flames have begun to burn the horses at the back. Gods I'm just so
tired. Tired of everything. But particularly tired of pretending that
everything is okay. It's not okay. Everything is not fine. It's all
going to collapse. The economy is going to burst like a zit, because
that's what it's designed to do. And we've done most of everything we
can think of to keep it from doing exactly that, but here we are
circling the drain. Caught in a gravity that it's long long too late
to escape. Not to even mention that my personal life is hell right
now. We let the carpet get so bad, that now... We have mites. Or fleas
or some kind of truly awful inescapable bug that bites. My hands and
body are covered in small bites. And I have a horrifying suspicion
that they're living in my hair and beard. Ugh it makes me want to die.
I feel like I'm being eaten alive. And I definitely shoudn't have
eaten that kit kat. Maybe this is my... No this is definitely my karma
for not cleaning as much as Patti. She made sure of it. And rightfully
so. I have no defense. It was an an unfair and lazy thing to let
slide. And now I'm suffering the consequences, just like her. But holy
shit these consequences. I don't deal with itchiness well. It nags at
my mind. It interrupts trains of thought. It builds tooo. IT just
keeps gettin worse, even developing new itches. Until you scratch.
Gods I want to rip my skin off. And the thing is, that means that the
bugs are actively crawling on me right now. They're working their way
across my skin biting and burrowing and causing irritation. It's bad.
I'm going mad. Mad I SAY! Fuck me I'm bored. I wish I could just
noodle around on my computer. I hate doing the cold calling so much
I've just decided not to do it. Probably not great for my career, but
if I can't noodle, they don't get maximum effort from me. Plus no one
wants to be cold called.
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hi i was wondering why some people don't like self-shippers? i'm trying to understand it, but it just doesn't make sense to me and i thought- since you're a blog specifically about self-shipping, you might be able to help a bit?
Oh boy that's a loaded question (not in a bad way!) but I might be able to provide some insight!
I don't understand it myself either, but from what I've seen other people tend to interpret self shipping as "cringe" (aka embarrassing/an interest that they judge you negatively for having)
They see it along the lines of childish, using it as a crutch to escape reality (which, for some yes, but self shipping is also used for many other reasons!) but they also think you're "delusional" for calling a fictional character your partner (I don't even want to get into how wrong it is for them to say that lmao)
I think the origin started from along the concept of Mary Sue's (a character that has no flaws, overpowered, and liked by everyone and never does anything wrong) which, those kinds of characters are valid to me at least? Like, it's not hurting anybody so I don't get the hate
(Also, I could be wrong about the origin, but it makes sense to me for being the starting point)
Overall, I'd say not to worry about those people at all. If they choose to be judgemental and ignorant over how self shipping helps you, that's their issue. You're not doing anything wrong by indulging yourself, because it's 100% true that your faves love you! Why wouldn't they? You're everything they could ever dream of!
I hope this helped a bit <3
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Hi, just wanted to ask b4 interacting (well, i already did, but ye), u're don't hate Eleven herself right? I'm very supportive of being anti-Mileven, but i'm not really for being against Eleven herself cuz, i mean, it's not really her fault, uk? I'm sorry if u're not. I've just seen Bylers who r very anti-Eleven (a very small minority in comparison to the vast majority of shippers who aren't like this, i'm very sure, but i wud still like to check anyway), but i mean it's not her fault, uk? Just wanted to make sure real quick, lol.
Of course I don't hate el. Most of us see how mileven inhibits el's character progression. And want her to flourish- so don't support mileven. I want El to learn more about herself and the world around her before dating anyone. Not rush into a relationship with the first boy she meets- a week into her escape. When in that same week the poor girl didn't even know what a friend was. And before Mike kissed her she asked if he'd be her brother. In s3 she even asks max (while dating mike)- "how do I know what I like?" Which is a concept she should understand before dating someone! Max even says to choose things that feel like her (not mike) after El made that comment. Not to mention all the parallels of mileven to hopper and el - and to- 'cousins /siblings and luke & leia', (showing its not romantic but familial).
Plus, There's a few examples i've already mentioned about mileven inhibiting her character too . el in s2 went from wanting to leave the cabin and see her friends again and learn more about the world . To in s3 never wanting to leave the cabin and just make-out with Mike and ignore her friends. She even lied to her friends about curfew to go back to the cabin and kiss Mike. Going against her 'friends don't lie ' mantra. Mike (like max said) also doesn't trust el or respect her ability to make decisions.
Mike lies to el & el spies on mike. And neither apologized for this specific action.
Its hinted El doesn't have feelings for Mike too "more to life than stupid boys", "el's not stupid", "what makes you crazy?". (Flo in s1: only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid). The s3 mileven confession is also paralleled to the stobin confession. Both sitting on the floor- both gals with bandages on their legs, both guys use the phrases stupid and crazy and Dustin interrupts both convos. When El says she loves Mike the 'first i love you' plays- the only other time this song plays is when robin rejects Steve (a hint Mike is gay like Robin ). Mileven in s3 is also called "bullshit" like stancy in s2- who also kissed all the time and exchanged 'i love you's" . Despite 1 wheeler dating Steve(el) despite knowingly having feelings for a byers. And never actually loving Steve (el).
There's more ...but you get the gist. Me not liking mileven doesn't mean I dislike El or Mike. I just don't think they're romantically compatible or in love . And think they're both better off not dating eachother. I like Steve and nancy separately but don't support stancy. And various other st ships. It's the same concept. Me not shipping 2 characters together doesn't mean I dislike either 2 characters.
I personally haven't seen many bylers who are anti el. But if they're around - I'm not one of them.
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