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#Kind of science fiction-ish
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The Lab
ask me questions! Ask about my experiments, what I work on, I would love to share.
unfortunately all those conversations end up will yelling about morals, *tsk* it’s practically scripted every time. Oh well. Perhaps I’ll find someone, or multiple someone’s, who would like to join the cause of knowledge.
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nestofstraightlines · 5 months
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I saw a post noting the Hitchhiker's Guide vibes in Wild Blue Yonder, and noticed the replies were full of Doctor Who fans to whom the references were news - fair enough, obviously, Tumblr has a young and international population.
Most Who fans probably know the name Douglas Adams if only vaguely - that this independently successful author was also at once stage in the late 70s Script Editor for Doctor Who and himself wrote three very well-regarded serials for the show.
They may also be aware that he's a particular influence on New Who partly because of that direct connection, and partly because he's kind of to British and/or comedic science fiction what was Tolkein is to fantasy.
So the suggestion you try some Adams if you're a Doctor Who fan is probably not a new idea. But for many, diving into fairly tangentially related fiction from 40+ years ago might not seem very tempting on those grounds alone.
But just in case no one's told you, what Hitchhiker's Guide can offer you as a New Who fan is kind of more New Who.
As I say, though Adams was only briefly (though significantly) in charge of Who itself, his influence on modern Who writing is almost as big on its own as the rest of Classic Who combined.
And it's not just the voice and humour that will ring a bell.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is what happens when you tell the Doctor Who story but take away the Tardis from the Doctor figure. It's a twist on the Doctor Who format where an alien grabs a human away from Earth to travel through a mad galaxy with them, but this alien has no transport of his own and must thumb a ride, and instead of a Littlest Hobo urge to fix every bad situation he stumbles into wishes only to have a good time (bit of a Hartnell touch there I guess).
Crucially I'm not describing a parody of Doctor Who. I don't now that Adams was even super conscious of this read of his most famous tale. But he had certain archetypes in his brain and the comedy writer's habit of wondering 'what if X but Y' and what you get from it could absolutely be described as the Doctor Who show of a different timeline. Something which offers all the pleasures of Doctor Who approached from a different angle.
Finally, in terms of what format to seek out (because Hitchhiker's exists as a radio serial, a set of novels, a TV series and a much later film adaptation) I'd strongly recommend the radio series. In general, and specifically as having the most of offer Doctor Who fans.
The books have become often regarded as somehow the central 'canon' because people assume as books they must have come first. In fact the radio series came first.
I also think it couldn't be more perfect for Doctor Who fans because like that show it's got all the pleasures of great performances as well as the great writing (there is a Hitchhiker's TV series but trust me when I say this is tale built for audio). It's not just full of great performances delivering Adams' comedy perfectly, it also feels huge; the music and sound design evoking such an existentially big, grand, weird, thrilling universe. So especially if you already like Big Finish stories but haven't listened to Hitchhiker's Guide before, you've got such a Who-ish treat awaiting you.
(Toppodcast dot com has it all available.)
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a-dinosaur-a-day · 8 months
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No hate to the other anon u just answered or you but it kinda bothers me when ppl are like "jurassic park isn't realistic that's not what dinosaurs were" WE BARELY KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT DINOSAURS AT THE TIME. We had literally just come up with the concept WHILE making the movie that they were related to birds!!!! We didn't know they had feathers!!!!! That was likely not a thought we had yet!!!!!!!!! And the cgi was incredible for the time!!!!!! "Its not realistic" IT WAS MADE 30 YEARS AGO. idk im just. Special interested in it but like. of course it wasnt realistic it was based on the best information we had at the time!!!! And it wasnt meant to be a "oh this is what dinosaurs will look like forever" it was ehat we knew!!!!!
there are some choices they made that can be criticised (dilophosaurus spit and small??? velociraptor big and boxy??? also they left out maiasaura :( )but yeah this is p much my position on the first two films, and even to an extent the third. Jurassic World just went backwards SO MUCH that it was worse than the original JP. That's ridiculous. One of the good things ABOUT Jurassic Park was how it updated people's perception of dinosaurs from sluggish lizards to active bird-ish-guys (they do say birds multiple times, but what can you do. people are bad at media literacy) and I hate that JW utterly ruined that legacy. JWD kind of fixed a little of it but not nearly enough IMO
I do appreciate JWD for the plot with the crops and the locusts, though, bc I was a geneticist and I've been to conferences and that is a very real things companies want to do to be able to control the food supply. We are careening towards a capitalistic dystopia the likes of which seem like science fiction and I'm tired. so I felt validated lmao
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joswriting · 3 months
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•❅───✧❅ joswriting ❅✧
: ̗̀➛ writeblr intro
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Hello there! My name is Jo (shocker!), I am in my 20s and I write stories and poems in my free time. I used to have a writing account on here many moons ago and I really miss the community, friendship and support of talking with other writers about our projects, so I am trying to rebuild what I've lost.
: ̗̀➛ about me
very interaction friendly. we're all just people on here (also please tag me in games forever)
science fiction! science fiction is my everything. it's whatever. I'm normal about it
themes I write about a lot include: death anxiety, internalized bigotry, general dissatisfaction and the complex and confusing nature of existence
scifi flavour wise i like doing weird time or multiverse stuff
I'm also queer (lesbian, aromantic, whatever), if that matters. This comes up a lot in my writing be it explicit or not.
I write in German and English
: ̗̀➛ my wips/projects
⸻ On the end of everything 🌠
An "essay" on how the multiverse died, those who noticed, and how they learned to live with their fates
[reblog tag] [posts tag] [wip intro]
⸻ Poetry 🗒️
I don't post my poetry on tumblr, instead I self host it here. I love writing poems I get such a kick out of it!
My favourite poem of mine atm is this one: Lines Out Of Context
⸻ Starship Lovelace 🚀
The Starship Lovelace is an Earth vessel far from home. The human crew mysteriously disappeared decades ago - now a small group of aliens has claimed the ship.
[posts + reblog tag]
A collection of half-assed short trips, I'm trying to build my own kind of space ship show here. It mostly serves as a way for me to keep writing and get ideas out of my head without much drafting or anything. I've got a pretty good vague plot for it in my head and I'm trying to do it justice with my newer, more thought out chapters. You can see all entries: here.
The stories are hosted on the space story collection pubnix/website Cosmic.Voyage, which i just know some of you would get a kick out of.
: ̗̀➛ inspiration
on the comedy side: the two Dirk Gently books, the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, the Red Dwarf novels and Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen in particular (British people are grim, I like it)
on the more serious side: Frankenstein (my favourite book everr), many Doctor Who hiatus novels but especially Dead Romance by Lawrence Miles, the works of H.G. Wells (love that guys scifi that just completely misses the mark but was properly scientifically researched for its own time) and, to an extent, Der Tod und andere Höhepunkte meines Lebens by Sebastian Niedlich, which is a book I remember liking a lot as a young-ish teen
generally I'm a huge fan of Doctor Who and Star Trek
I sometimes reblog posts about media i really like on here too so for more check out the tag: good media
So. The first thing I’d better do is invent my audience. I'll pretend there are thousands of you out there, and I'll pretend you're all just like me; young, smart, pretty, and sarcastic (NB I’m probably being ironic here, although I’m not really sure any more). Just so we’ve got some common ground, I'll pretend you were born sometime in the late 1940s… No, sod that. I'll pretend you were born on 15 August 1948. All of you.
Well, why not? If you’re going to invent an audience, why not invent one in your own image?
-- Dead Romance, First Notebook
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mdzs-fics · 1 month
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ridiculous future bullshit by sami
Future Fic 19 works 61K words
While rereading through works related to Author sami's And Time Is But A Paper Moon, reviewed here and here and here, I remembered reading the ridiculous future bullshit series. Through 19 short works of fiction, Author sami creates a reasonable facsimile of what the future looks like if six Immortals survive into the 21st century, forming the Five Nations.
Note: Author sami tells us "So this is the actual first-ish entry in the ridiculous future bullshit series, which of course means it is still the purest trash, it's bullshit and any complaints will still be met with you were warned."
Let's take a quick look at a few of the tales.
Now Showing: Hanguang-Jun And The Yiling Patriarch
Wei Wuxian rubs his nose. "Look, I'm guessing you're okay with your movie being, like… complete bullshit, right?"
"They are okay with that. They are so very fucking okay with that," Steve snaps.
"Okay." Wei Wuxian grins, and Dennis suddenly absolutely believes that he is talking to a trickster god. "You don't want to put Sandu Shengshou in this movie, trust me. And if you make this about sh- Jiang Yanli's actual marriage, then she might cry, and then Sandu Shengshou and I will have to raze this place to the fucking ground and salt the earth on which it stood, nobody wants that kind of hassle. But you can have a poor girl named Mo Fan - she has a terrible family, make it a bit like Cinderella, that was an okay movie."
Wei Wuxian has seen Cinderella.
Dennis notices that a sparkly princess crown has fallen out of Wei Wuxian's shopping bags.
"Mo Fan," he croaks. "Got it. Cinderella."
Wei Wuxian nods earnestly. "And a handsome prince named Jin Guangyao meets her and falls in love with her. He's in town to… try and help the villagers rebuild after the famine that drew the monsters there," he says. "Because he's just a really good guy. You can say it sends messages about how not all heroes are stabby fighters."
In which an animated movie Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch is discussed with its Producer while the poor, ignored Five Nations consultant recognizes the two Immortals in the Producer's office.
Let's just say the original premise featuring "the story of Hanguang-Jun, a noble prince, who defeats the monsters terrorising the city of Yiling with the help of the grizzled old Yiling Patriarch, and in the process falls in love with a local maiden, Princess Lotus Blossom." is not appreciated.
Flick of the Wrist
Dernier is famous. He's been on television in sixteen countries. She's bound to be impressed.
He skips actually attending the afternoon session in favour of writing and then recording a long YouTube video about the Symposium. He titles it Inside the Top Secret Medical Conference You've Never Heard Of, and uploads it with a smirk. That'll show them for not actually inviting him.
In which a Famous Medical Researcher attends a Symposium held by Wen Qing. Once.
Lan Zhan's University Days (JAFFY)
Ziyuan gives him a look. "Last I checked, you weren't in charge of the computer science department, shushu, and this is what I have to do if I want to pass."
Jiang Ying scowls. "We'll see about that," he says darkly. He leaves the room briefly and comes back with a laptop of his own. It looks like it was probably sleek and expensive once, but now it's covered with glitter stickers. He sets it on the table and turns it on; when he clears away the windows he did have up, Jordan thinks she sees a browser tab open to YouTube frozen on a still frame of a Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch fanvid.
Jiang Ying really seems to like that movie. He wears Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch t-shirts at least once a week.
"You run Suibian?" Peter, one of the other students, sounds impressed. Jordan has heard of it - it's an open-source operating system, which is apparently important. Her sister is Very Into Computers, and talks about it a lot, apparently it's way better than other operating systems. Ava keeps trying to get Jordan to let her install it on her computer.
"I wrote Suibian," Jiang Ying says absently, typing rapidly.
"Holy shit," Peter breathes. "You're Axian?" He pronounces it Axe-ian.
"A-Xian," Jiang Ying corrects, still typing. "But you can't call me that, stick to Jiang Ying. I wrote it for my brother and sister, they needed something with actual security for their… work."
"Why does the source code say my sword is always at your service?" Peter asks eagerly. "Everyone has so many theories about that. Do you play D&D?"
"I don't. It says that because for them, it is. Hush now, do your work, I'm busy," Jiang Ying says, tossing a smile over his shoulder. Text is scrolling rapidly through several terminal windows.
In which Lan Zhan goes to veterinary school and the entire class is adopted for the semester after failing their first exam because Students Were Distracted.
Characters encountered here are met again and again in other tales. Some characters become more important than others.
And there are kittens.
The stories are not canon and are definitely not to be taken too seriously. Still … they are an exceptionally enjoyable read.
And yes, I enjoy YouTube "The Untamed" themed crack videos as well.
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cipheramnesia · 9 months
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Hi! How’re you? I love your blog and never know how to write asks.
Any chance you’d be willing to dish out a quick (or long) list of your favorite techno horror/techno punk movies? Don’t know if those are the right terms.
If not thank you anyway for reading and I hope you are having a good night.
Full disclosure, I wasn't familiar with these terms, beyond what I could figure out intuitively, which turned out to be correct, as far as I can tell! Which is not very far so you know, bear with me. Nervously looking over my shoulders for a bear. OK.
After a crash course, I think it's safe to call Tetsuo The Iron Man and Tetsuo The Bullet Man the quintessential technohorror technopunk type movies. They are lean and mean structured around shocking violence and jaw dropping effects on a budget. In the same vein, but which you might not have heard of, is Tokyo Gore Police. It's, y'know, not for everyone, look it up and you'll have a pretty clear idea what you're in for. If you're on the bubble, let me just say "sexy crocodile vagina legs," and leave it there.
It looks like David Cronenberg is big in the subgenre and what can I say except good call. Kind of a horror pioneer across quite a few subgenres including splatterpunk and body horror, his fascination with permutations of the flesh and technology makes him a no-brainer. Obviously you should know about Crimes of the Future and The Fly, and potentially the lesser know but exception Videodrome and Existenz. However, also consider checking out his adaptation of Crash (an essential movie for anyone intrigued by trans humanism) and his adaptation of Naked Lunch. For all purposes, virtually everything in his oeuvre prior to Naked Lunch in some way invokes body horror and some degree of technohorror, so you may as well sit down and take your time with his filmography. Then follow up with with everything Brandon Cronenberg, his son, has released because that specific apple is not far from the tree.
Also mentioned is Terminator, which I guess is sort of horror and punk(ish) and techno, which sort of throws Alien and Aliens in but honestly those feel more like science fiction horror personally, whatever you know them already. And you're not here for stuff you can pull in any online search so lets get down to the weird shit.
I've mentioned it before, but Death Machine (1994) is an absolute joy to watch. Magnificent use of practical effects, tongue in cheek but never boring, if you want to see an absolutely gorgeous murder robot, this is a must-watch. Kind of the western answer to Tetsuo Iron Man with a less manic pace and heavy handed satire. Think RoboCop on a worse budget using the plot of Aliens but inside an office building. This one and a similarly impressive work of practical effects called Hardware (1990) are both difficult to unearth. If you see them anywhere, grab a copy, drop everything and watch.
There's this whole collection of AI movies that range between hard scifi and gloppy horror, but I'd like to direct attention to somewhat over looked Automata (2014). For me it has just the right blend of real world trash and futuristic dystopia, with a plot that's part mystery and part big ideas. It rides this lovely line that drew me in by featuring robots that do not feel human at all, disappointingly blocky and clunky, and led me into feeling the necessary empathy for the story to succeed. It is by turns abstract and violent, and feels almost as if it could be a precursor to Blade Runner in its visuals and story design.
Now let's rewind back to 1977's Demon Seed. It's been quite a while since I saw the original, and it's by no means the best movie out of the 70s but it is a buckwild, extremely fucked up AI gone haywire film. Content warning for an extremely disturbing sexual assault by a robotic shape shifting dodecahedron. It belongs on a technohorror list because it's the kind of movie where you'll say "wow, it sure went there." I can't tell you if it's good, only that you'll probably wish you could forget some scenes. And if you want to keep the ball rolling with slow paced science fiction movies about killer robots obsessed with sexual assault, you can check out Saturn 3 (1980).
But enough about robots, let's talk about zombies with Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead (2014) and Wyrmwood: Apocalypse (2021). Both of these have punk vibes, very in line with most Ozsploitation movies, and the gimmick is that, as a zombie apocalypse begins, a group of survivors discover the zombies belch up methane - and they can rig up their engines to run on the stuff. The pair of movies escalate continuously in their excess and weirdness. If the first leaves you wanting more, the second will leave you absolutely demanding it. Frankly anything low budget and vaguely weird from Australia tends to be over the top of over the top. See also SheBorg (2016) about an evil alien cyborg who comes to Earth to eat puppies (very unrealistic stuffed animals) and turn people into more evil cyborgs. The only hope is punk loser teenage girls. Is it badly made? Yes. Offensive? Pretty much. But it's evil alien puppy eating cyborg versus punk rock teenagers so like you gotta see it.
Not gonna sugar coat this - quite a lot of the "best technohorror" recommendations lists I'm turning up in searches to job my memory aren't great. Seems like mostly it's more "hey here are some movies that use an technology" versus anything that gives me a real sensation of the movie being either intrinsically about the interaction of the human, the horrific, and the technological, or where the tech aspect is a kind of break-out rogue element, getting away with something daring or weird or simply grotesque through having the sort of budget and distribution (or lack thereof) that keeps sticky fingered producers from leaving notes all over the script. Anyway this is kind of a prelude to suggesting Frankenstein might be the original technohorror, and to check out Depraved (2019), a take on Frankenstein with a fascinating direction, where the titular scientist is an ex-army field medic with PTSD and his monster is made from soldier parts which, themselves, are not entirely free from the memories of their own traumatic pasts. It may only loosely follow the original story but it's a hell of a gut punch and I think exactly the sort of filmmaking that you want from any genre appended with "punk."
Lastly of course we all know the recently released M3gan, but I'm going to suggest a second Frankenstein movie, which I have not seen as yet so this is a blind recommendation, The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster, directed by Bomani J. Story. If the title alone doesn't give you a frisson of anticipation about what might be in the movie, the trailer should have you hooked. I'm dying to watch it, personally, but saving it to watch with one of my partners.
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dduane · 1 year
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Hello! Just wanted to start by telling you how wonderful you are, and how much my Discord Vulcan/Romulan Fan Servers adore your work and contribution to Trek. I started this conversation with them, and thought, it's a shot in the dark, but why not ask Diane? It does require a little handwaving at ancient timelines, but...
Have you ever thought that a possible in universe explanation for the similarities in names and governmental structure of Romulans and the ancient Romans could be that one or two of the ships that left Vulcan 2,000+ years before got lost and ended up on Earth? and that by the Dominion war era... some 15-ish percent of humans have a tiny amount (1-3%) of Romulan genetic markers?
No one realizes it's there, because no one's ever looked for it? Or if anyone did figure it out, it was hushed up by Starfleet Intelligence?
Hi there!
First of all: thanks for the nice words! It's always good to hear when people are enjoying my work.
Now as regards this premise: ...It's an interesting one, but not one I'd feel able to sell. You (correctly) point out that there would be too much timeline-oriented slashing around with Occam's Razor needed to make it even start working. Additionally, in at least one of my books, I manage to sell a single Vulcan/human genetic blend only by invoking the most complex medical support technology Vulcan has to offer. Therefore from my POV, the likelihood of castaway Vulcans winding up on Earth 2K years before the Trek "modern" period and successfully hybridizing with another non-Vulcan species unfortunately falls somewhere between "not the slightest chance" and "sorry, NOPE"... while also pushing the concept straight out of science fiction and into fantasy. And though I walk that side of the road too (and repeatedly!), I don't do it with Trek. :)
Also: having written a whole group of books based on the concept that the congruence of Roman/"Romulan" names and cultural tropes is nothing more than a combination of serious misunderstandings and a very old clerical error, I'd have to suggest I'm the wrong person to be trying to justify such a premise in the first place.
So: no, that's a set of concepts that wouldn't have occurred to me. Unquestionably, very creative: but not a road I'd walk.
In any case, it's kind of you to inquire! So thanks for that, and give the Discord-based crowd my best.
(...This, though, is also a good time to remind people that I really shouldn't be seeing prompts or idea pitches for any of the universes where I work—as seeing them more or less guarantees I can never use them, for fear of adverse legal exposure. This is why we have the very useful "not you DD" tag for posts about such issues in the Young Wizards universe. So thanks, all, for your consideration.)
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piilukko · 1 year
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The Otaniemi district in Espoo, Finland is the home of the main campus of the Aalto University (formerly independent Helsinki University of Technology) as well as several student dormitories.
While niemi means just a cape (as in "landmass extending into a body water", in this case the Baltic Sea), scholars are less certain what ota means, as usual the story is a mess and includes hundreds if not thousands of years and several languages. However, in typical Finnish custom, today the area contains several roads, streets and other features named with the "ota"-prefix, like Otakaari, the looping main street of the district.
Some jokers call the district "Onaniemi", implying that the stereotypically male and geeky students of, say, computer science might have trouble finding sexual partners and would instead end up masturbating more than the general populace. An unsourced but plausible claim is that for decades, of all the small kiosks in the nation-wide R-Kioski chain, the one in Otaniemi was the top-seller of porn mags, but also the first place to suddenly lose those sales when the internet became fast enough to transfer photos and the campus network was expanded to the dorm rooms.
Like probably everywhere in the world, also in Finland the students of technology gravitated towards science fiction and fantasy, American shows like Star Trek and Babylon 5 of course being popular. However, around mid 90s, when the rest of us still relied on what our three-ish TV channels decided to air and what a couple of companies decided to publish (and what a handful of magazines decided to write about), they had the means and skills to learn about and acquire all kind of works of entertainment unknown to the internet-deprived masses. So, while everyone knew the 90s Moomin series, some had seen a couple of Miyazaki films on the TV and random kids were exposed to the mess that it is Ginga: Nagareboshi Gin, quite unsurprisingly the tech students were among the pioneers of the Finnish anime and manga scene as a separate hobby.
Which is probably why even on the Google Maps, it says basically (Here be) otakus over this seemingly innocent-lookíng small driveway.
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computerything · 1 month
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Why are goblins in Doctor Who?
No, seriously, why?
Those were the thoughts echoing through my cerebrum as I stared at my television screen, face contorted in confusion.
Maybe they're... like... space goblins... who go and steal human babies to raise into slavery or something... yes, to mine fuel or something, and then they kind of got incorporated into human mythos... or maybe there's something with changelings, maybe they make humans raise their children like cuckoo birds... My mind is franticly digging through itself looking for some sort of explanation.
I look on in horror as I realize that no, these things are normal goblins. From fairy tales. And they have a weird plywood airship that messes with luck. And they just eat babies. Like regular goblins. And now they're performing a pop song. My television starts sobbing. I tell it to shut up, because I'm trying to figure out why these fairly regular fantasy goblins are in my corny British scifi show.
These effects look odd. Too clean. Too Starwars.
The doctor is improvising along with the goblin song, something that would be fine and doctor-ish enough if anything else made sense.
Why make science fiction into fantasy, anyway? There's kinda a big difference. Gosh, they did that with the film adaptation of A Wrinkle in Time...
They use that gravity glove thing to crash the crappy plywood goblin ship.
Wait... didn't the same studio who made that adaptation... also make...
They sold out to Disney. Why did they sell out to Disney? Besides... you know... the money.
I think back to some of the other newer episodes. Chris Chibnall's run. Those weird space demigod things who stick their severed fingers in your ears. Time being a living entity. They were odd, trending towards fantasy. Sure, there had been the odd episode with werewolves or something before, but the number of fantastic episodes seemed to be slowly increasing. It confused me.
And then they sold out to Disney. The studio which makes pretty much exclusively fantasy and the occasional teen drama.
I stare at the screen. The episode is ending. Everyone forgot that Ruby Sunday was ever born or something. The goblins are not explained.
I check the IMDb page. The new episodes aren't there. I go back and check my search. There's a new page that showed up in the results. It lists all the specials and the latest episode.
The credits are rolling.
My guts twist into knots as realization hits.
Doctor Who has ended.
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tta episode 12
“Last time, on Total Takes Action: the four final players competed in an all-out western challenge… an all-outback western, that is! From kangaroo wrangling to outback cow herding to giant, man-eating spiders, this was the real-ish deal! Scruffy overcompensated for their failing love life, but it was Peter who saved the day, and a sick Scary who took the fall. Who will survive this episode? And who will be eaten? Find out now, on Total! Takes! Action!”
The final three stand in a line outside the craft services tent while Chris sits in a director’s chair in front of them, his legs crossed and his eyes studying them intently. 
It’s been some time now, as evident by the beads of sweat on O’s forehead and the twitchy movements Peter keeps making out of nervousness. Finally, the host clears his throat. 
“So, I’m sure you’re all wondering why you’re out here,”
“Yes!” All three say in unison. Chris chuckles. 
“Today is the penultimate challenge- three players enter, two players leave! And you dudes have a lot riding on this- one million dollars is nothing to brush off,”
“I don’t care about the money!” Scruffy pipes up. They look exhausted.
Chris rolls his eyes. “Much like yesterday, today’s challenge is inspired by another popular subgenre of western- the science fiction kind!”
“Running out of ideas?” O asks, crossing his arms. Chris glares and pulls out a futuristic looking taser gun, then stuns him. He falls to the ground with a thud. Peter and Scruffy stare. 
“That’s better. Anyway, today is going to be an all-out… LASER TAG EXTRAVAGANZA! That’s right, it’s every man and Scruffy for themselves on a souped-up race to the finish line. The first two players to reach that line secure themselves a spot in the finale- the last will go home. Across the set, there are various… um, roadblocks that will stop at nothing to tag you out with one of these babies,” Chris says, pulling a few large laser guns out of nowhere. He tosses one to each contestant- a neon green one for Scruffy, a white one for Peter, and an orange one that lands on the ground next to O. “Not to mention your fellow campers- if you get tagged out, you’ll be sent to our brand new…. Cactus Pit! For about fifteen minutes.”
“Cactus pit?!” Peter asks. 
“Yeah, we couldn’t think of another way to incorporate the western theme without importing more sand,” Chris chuckles. “Go meet Chef in the craft services tent to get geared up and meet me back out here in five!”
---
Scruffy straps a large, futuristic-looking chrome vest to their chest and slides on knee and elbow guards while Peter watches on from afar. O is just now recovering from the stun gun, though his legs are still partially frozen as he slides on the metallic shorts provided with the outfit. 
“You feelin’ alright, little guy?” O asks, fastening the vest buckles. “Need any help today?”
Peter turns back. “No, I’ll be okay. If I can survive a heart-to-heart with Scary, I can survive anything, right?” he chuckles to himself. “Thanks for the offer, though. Good luck!”
Peter jogs outside, leaving a slightly despondent O behind. 
---
O: “Well, I guess I’m not needed anymore. Good-bye, friendship!”
---
Scruffy whistles the show theme song under their breath while bouncing their gun in their hands. They seem… oddly relaxed. Confident, even. 
---
SCRUFFY: “I’ve been training for this all season- an obstacle course? Every man for himself? Dangerous threats along the way?! This is perfect- finally, a chance to prove myself,” they put on their safety goggles and then blow a kiss at the screen. “Wish me luck, Jules!”
---
Chris paces back and forth in front of the geared-up contestants, snacking on a Slim Jim very loudly and reading the paper. He turns. “Oh, right. We’re still doing this. Okay, gang, you ready?”
The campers look between each other, then nod. 
Chris pops in a pair of earbuds, then pulls out an air horn and blows it, forcing the final three to duck and cover their ears before they can actually start moving. 
“GO!”
Peter starts off first, jogging towards the city set as a heavy fog rolls in, misting the set and making everything but the fluorescent lights of the other players impossible to see. 
O follows Peter, looking around before colliding face-first into a brick wall. “Yeowch!”
A nearby clicking sound and a shower of white light greets O on his left side, and Peter emerges from the fog, holding up his gun. “Who goes there?”
“Woah, truce, truce!” O sets down his own weapon and puts up his hands. “I wanted to talk.”
The much shorter player lowers his gun and blinks. “About what?”
“I think we should stay in an alliance,” he says. His own orange getup casts a warm glow in the fog. “Scruffy has a super unfair advantage over both of us, and if we stick together, we might be able to make it to the final two! Wouldn’t you wanna be in the final two with me?”
Peter thinks for a moment. “Huh… yeah, I guess that’d be fun. Friends in the final two…”
“Right! Friends!”
He smiles and holds out a hand, which O gladly accepts. “Truce,”
“Truce!” O shakes it confidently. 
---
Scruffy stalks through the fog on the forested set, the fake trees casting a dark glow over them. They’re crouching, close to the ground, crawling between plastic ferns and foam rocks, somersaulting into hollow logs and watching the entire scene with suspicious eyes. Their tactic is clearly trained to perfection, so when a shadowy figure dashes behind them in the background, they’re already prepared. 
Scruffy whips around and fires his laser gun, and a cartoony “pew” sound effect lights up someone’s vest red. 
Chef sighs and walks out of the shadows, dressed as a StormTrooper in a laser tag vest. He grumbles. “This wasn’t in my contract,” and he walks off. Scruffy pumps their fist. 
---
O and Peter walk casually down the middle of the road on the western set, aiming at random cacti and tumbleweeds to practice shooting. 
O holds up his gun and fires at a moving cardboard road runner, the red laser dot directly on its side. It, of course, does nothing but light up the set piece for a brief moment. But Peter is impressed nonetheless. 
“Wow, you’ve got a good shot,” he says. 
O lowers the gun. “Thanks. Michela taught me how to aim,”
“Were you guys close? While she was here, I mean,”
“Uh, kinda. I thought so. But then Max came back and she didn’t need me around anymore, I served my purpose,”
Peter raises an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“Well, you know. I did my job! And she got better, so she moved on, right?” O says, aiming the gun at a saloon sign. “That’s how this stuff works.”
“Friendships? I don’t think so,” Peter says. “They’re not… transactional. I mean, they can be, but like me and Scary- I would consider us friends now,” he pauses. “Don’t tell her I said that, though.”
“You and Scary? What could you have to offer her?”
“My time, my care. My patience. And she helped me out too, in return, and even though she’s gone, we’re still friends-ish. Same with Al,” Peter continues. “Friendships shouldn’t end after you give them something. I had to learn that the hard way. I’m sure if you talked to Michela, she would still call herself your friend.”
“Huh,” O thinks. “Weird.”
A sudden rustling behind them makes both jump and aim their guns. But it’s only a squirrel, skittering across the set with a nut between its teeth. 
Peter turns to O again. “You don’t have to ally yourself with me because you think I’ll only want to if you’re useful. We can be ally-friends, too!”
O smiles and nods before a sudden whirring overhead catches both their attention. 
“Did you hear that?”
A fleet of flying saucers appears in the distance, laser beams gearing up as they approach the two. Peter and O look at each other, then scream and run in opposite directions. 
---
Scruffy hears the distant sound of screaming and pays it no mind. They chuckle to themselves. “Amateurs,” and press on, past the haunted mansion set, past the courtroom…
They re-enter a thickly wooded part of the set and scratch their head. “I was just here,” they think aloud. “I have not been walking in circles! My tracking skills are flawless!”
A sudden rustling in the foliage catches their attention and they aim their gun, but only Peter falls out of the bush. He groans and rubs his head. 
Scruffy grins and clicks his gun, ready to fire. 
“W-wait!” Peter begs. “Don’t!”
“Why not?”
“Cause… I know the way to the finish line!”
Scruffy lowers their gun for a moment and thinks. Then, they sigh, and put away their weapon, pulling Peter to his feet. “Fine. But as soon as we’re there, I’m shooting you,”
“Sounds good to me!”
---
O tiptoes through the maze, completely lost in its long halls. The sounds of distant barking are making him more nervous with each passing second. 
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” he mumbles to himself. “Get a hold on yourself, Oliver. Breathe. Count to ten.”
He takes one deep breath, then another, before the barking picks up again and he loses count. “Dammit! Why isn’t this working?!”
The barking grows closer and he shakily holds up his weapon, backing himself into a corner. Before he has time to prepare himself, two coyotes jump out of the darkness. 
“Coyotes!” he shrieks. A red light emanates from something attached to their backs. “With guns!”
He screams as they fire at him, tagging him out. His vest glows red and he shrieks again as a trapdoor opens from under him, pulling him into the darkness. 
---
“That sounds like O,” Peter says, those distant shrieks echoing again. “We were supposed to be allies today… I should go help him-”
He starts off, but Scruffy grabs him by the back of his shirt and turns him forward. “Not so fast. If you run, I’ll shoot the sensor on your back. Think smarter,”
Peter grumbles to himself but they press on, eventually exiting the forest and re-entering the walk between the mansion and courthouse. 
“So, where is this magical finish line, anyway?” Scruffy asks. “If you and O were allied, he must know too, right? He could be there this very second.”
“He wouldn’t. He would wait for me. We’re friends,”
Scruffy laughs. “There are no ‘friends’ on Total Drama. Only allies, and alliances are thin. Breakable,” a serious expression crosses their face. “The second they sense weakness, they leave.”
Peter watches their expression cautiously. “Do you want to talk about something?”
“No. I’m fine,” they insist, speeding up. 
---
Chris watches O balance on one set of tippy toes and flail his arms around to avoid falling on any cacti in the glass holding cell he’d been chuted into. 
“Man, this is great,” Chris sighs, crossing his arms. After a few more seconds of amusing himself, he turns with an annoyed expression. “Where are my salmon and goat cheese crackers?!”
Chef walks up to Chris with a covered dish. 
“Finally! I swear, these interns are so busy on their phones they can’t even bother to wait on me hand-and-foot!” the host rolls his eyes, then holds out a hand to the plate. "Gimme gimme."
Chef smacks it away and pulls the lid off the dish, revealing nothing but a black landline. Chris sighs. “It’s not my job to answer phones around here,”
“You’re really gonna want to answer this one,” Chef says, his voice completely deadpan. 
Chris grumbles angrily to himself and picks up the phone. “Yello?” He takes a swig from a coffee-filled Thermos. 
A voice on the other end says something indistinct and Chris spits out a mouthful of piping hot coffee, just barely missing Chef. 
---
“And then she just- started dating him, I guess. Like I don’t even exist!” Scruffy throws out their arms for emphasis as the two pass the trailers. “Not a word to me!”
“Do you think she didn’t think you’d find out?”
“No, of course not. Jules knows that I’m a capable player, I hear about everything worth knowing. And this was definitely worth knowing. Why didn’t she tell me?” they pout. “She could’ve sent a letter!”
“Maybe she wants to tell you in person?” Peter asks nervously, watching Scruffy flail around their gun with every word. 
“No, she wouldn’t. The only logical explanation I can come up with is that… well… it’s more beneficial for her to be with him than stay friends with me,” Scruffy sighs. 
Peter furrows his brow. “There’s that talk again! What’s wrong with you people!” he says. “Relationships aren’t about what you can give, they’re about who you are. If Julia really cares about you, then what someone else can offer her shouldn’t matter.”
“But it obviously does,” they sigh. 
“It could be a million things,” he pats their shoulder. “Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of overthinking. I’ve been in so many transactional friendships, witnessed so many petty breakups, and I refuse to believe that that’s what’s happening. You shouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone.”
“I know, but… I mean, she likes that I’m a good competitor. If I win, maybe…”
Peter sighs. “Do you really think staying in the competition will help?”
“It would help with a lot, really,”
Scruffy looks down and Peter sighs, pulling the picture of his girlfriend from his pocket. “I guess I understand. We have to do hard things for love, too,”
Just as they round the corner of the trailers, a click sounds from behind them and they both turn, then freeze in place. 
O, covered in cactus spikes, aims his gun right at Scruffy’s chest. 
“Game over,” he says, his forefinger pressing on the trigger. 
“No!” Peter shouts- but it’s too late. 
O pulls the trigger, and the mist rolls over set once again. A “pew” sound, and the “schwoop” of a hit target rings out. 
But as the fog clears, Scruffy is still green, and the red glow of a hit soldier is coming from the ground. 
Peter, his girlfriend’s picture clutched in his hand, lies. O gasps, then drops to his knees. “NOOOOOOOO!”
Scruffy holds up their gun, aiming at O as he grieves, but then shakes their head and simply flees into the brush. 
O holds Peter’s head in his lap and pants. The former’s glasses are cracked, and there’s a spider crawling over his cheek (which O quickly sweeps off). 
“Peter, I’m so sorry, my aim- I thought my aim was perfect-”
“It is. I jumped. I had to let Scruffy get away,” Peter says. “They have to win. I don't… My life is already pretty sweet. I don’t need the money.”
“You sacrificed yourself… for them?” he makes a disgusted face.
“They need this. I’m already pretty set,” he holds up the picture of his girlfriend. “I could’ve won, but I chose not to. Because some things in life are more important than transactions.”
A chute opens up beneath Peter and sucks him in, sending him to the cactus pit. O hangs his head. 
The opening in the grass closes over and O takes a moment to breathe before he stands, now more determined than ever, and begins running. 
---
Chris’ director’s chair is empty as Peter falls into the glass cactus tank at the end of the set, the finish line mere meters away. 
Scruffy comes barreling in first, crossing the checkers and panting. 
“Yes- yes! Final two!” they turn. “Chris?”
The set is empty. Chris and Chef are nowhere to be found. Panic crosses Scruffy’s face. “CHRIS?! I NEED SOMEONE TO VALIDATE MY WINNING!”
Peter taps on the glass of the container and winces as he’s poked. “I’m here,”
Scruffy turns. “Oh,”
O comes jogging after, crossing the finish line. He collapses to the floor shortly afterwards, his gun skidding across the pavement. 
The intercom crackles to life. “Woo okay, final two. Scruffy and O,” then disappears. 
“What’s he up to?” Scruffy wonders aloud, O and Peter both making pained groans in the background. 
---
Peter disappears in the Lame-o-Sine, both Scruffy and O waving as the black car disappears into the city. 
“Good guy,” Scruffy comments. 
O glares. “The best,”
The two walk back to the trailers, avoiding looking at each other until they’re at each individual door. Scruffy pauses, their hand on the doorknob. “What do you think Chris is doing?”
“Something bad and mean, probably,”
“No, I mean… he didn’t even show up for the elimination ceremony, and he loves gloating. Something’s going on,” Scruffy says, rubbing their chin. “Maybe Scary was right…”
O massages his temples. “Good night, Scruffy,”
And without another word, he walks into his trailer and slams the door behind him.
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inevitably-johnlocked · 9 months
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Hi steph! I hope your days been good!
I was wondering if you had any modern/urban fantasy fics you recommend?
I've read (and loved!) Left, the republic of heaven, Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc, the watches verse and I gotta read more
Thank youuu
Hey Nonny!
OOOOOHHHH!!! What a fun list to re-sort my other Fantasy fics into. Hmm. Okay, I'm going to make this list, AND add the ones you suggested (since one I have read, and one I haven't), add the ones tagged as fantasy on my MFL list, and I guess ask everyone else to add their fave Urban Fantasy fics!
URBAN / MODERN FANTASY AU
See also:
Science Fiction / Fantasy
Fairy Tales and Fantasy
TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)
Faes / Faeries
Disney-esque Fics
Magical Realism Where John is the Powerful One
Telepath / Empath AU
Time Travel, Altered Time, or Time Manipulation
To Mend A Heart by dee-light (G, 1,472 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism ||  Emotional Hurt/Comfort) – Hearts can be broken, and mended, and broken again. Good thing, then, that hearts are only the seat of all emotion, and not something Sherlock needs in order to live. 
the fearful passage of death-mark'd love by flibbertygigget (T, 1,980 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism ||  Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Life Partners, Name Marks, Referenced Deaths) – The first time that John meets Sherlock Holmes, the younger man has his sleeves pushed up to his elbows, wrists bare of any hint of ink. Within 48 hours, John has added "Jefferson Hope" to his clavicle. (Or: The One Where, When You Kill Someone, Their Name Shows Up On Your Arm)
To the Nines by suitesamba (M, 2,724 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism, Pining, Angst, John Whump, Time Travel, Fortunes, Time Jumps) – John skips forward in time, and Sherlock reads the signs that point to nine. John knows he’ll eventually be with Sherlock, but the waiting is nearly impossible, and his body is a lot more than transport. A foray into magical realism where all the canon events occur, and a hell of a lot more.
Upon Waking by joolabee (E, 3,901 w., 1 Ch. || Mild Dub Con, Magical Realism, Angst, Somnophilia) – It sets on slow: John can only be awake while Sherlock sleeps, and vice versa. Their lives are codependent, but never meeting. Like a set of scales.
Faerie-Touched by Blind_Author (T, 9,283 w., 2 Ch. || Faerie AU || Fantasy, Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock) – In a world of sorcerers and magic, Sherlock is a Faerie-born and John, lacking any kind of magical talent, often seems a bit out of place. But he has a gift all his own...
The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 (M, 9,994 w., 2 Ch. || Frozen-ish AU || Magical Realism, Christmas, Angst, Fluff, Powerful John) – In a world where people are born with a Gift of varying levels, simple John Watson is the last person one might look at when thinking of any strong Magick capabilities. Hiding comfortably in the shadow of Sherlock's brilliant deducing abilities, John is content to keep it that way...
London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.
Everlasting by cypress_tree(M, 16,884 w., 5 Ch. || Magical Realism, First Time, Immortality, Angst & Fluff) – Most lives end. A Tuck Everlasting fusion, in which the Holmes brothers have lived for a very, very long time.
With All My Heart by QuinnAnderson (E, 19,257 w., 4 Ch. || Red Marks / Soulmates || Magical Realism, Growing Up, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love) – AU in which every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark appears on their wrist. Sherlock is determined to keep himself from ever gaining one of these marks for fear that love will corrode his mental faculties. Then he meets John Watson.
Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.
Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.
An Experiment in Apathy Series by belovedmuerto (G to E, 28,701 w. across 13 stories || Empath John, Empath-by-Proxy Sherlock, Epic Bromance Becomes Romance, Angst, Nightmares, Experiments, Trauma, Dreams) – "No man is an island, John. You less so than most." A sequel to the EiE Series, wherein John and Sherlock explore their relationship.
Domestic Matters by ohlooktheresabee (M, 29,404 w., 6 Ch. || Fantasy AU || First Meetings, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, BAMF Sherlock, BAMF John, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Supernatural Elements, Implied / Referenced Child Abuse, Elf Sherlock, Human/Elf Politics, Emotional Abuse, Possessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Buddy Greg) – All flatmates need to work out domestic matters between them - who does the dishes, who takes out the rubbish, how often does the carpet need to be vacuumed - these are part and parcel of sharing a living space together. However, when you’re an elf and your flatmate is going to be a human you just met, this rather complicates things…Very loosely inspired by 'The Elves and The Shoemaker' by The Brothers Grimm.
An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.
The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical. 
The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism || John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.
Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.
Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.
Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”
An Experiment in Empathy Series by belovedmuerto (T, 62,397 w. across 13 stories || Empath AU || Psychic John, Psychic-by-Proxy Sherlock, Empathy, Psychic Bond, Romance / Bromance) – In which John is an empath, Sherlock is Sherlock, and an epic bromance happens. In the aftermath of The Great Game, John creates an unexpected bond between himself and Sherlock. Now they have to learn how to deal with it. John is better at this than Sherlock is.
This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it. John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...
Watches 'Verse by bendingsignpost (E, 66,905 w. across 2 works || Magical Realism, Reality Distortion, Angst, Partial MCD, BAMF John) – First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track. (John-centric AU) Part 1 of Watches 'Verse
Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse... Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes
Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (E, 87,987 w., 14 Ch. || Vampire AU || Bonding, Vampire Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, H/C, John Whump, Magical Realism) – John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn't human. His vampirism doesn't pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.
The Stars Move Still by BeautifulFiction (E, 96,022 w., 5 Ch. || Magical Realism, Demons, Slash to Pre-Slash, AU, Happy Ending, Souls) – "What could I want so desperately that would make me sell my soul? What could possibly compel me to surrender the part of myself that makes me who I am: the source of my magic, my self-control, everything?”
Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more. {{This is a REALLY great story, which tears at your heart consistently}}.
MARKED FOR LATER
Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc by etothepii (M, 20,213+ w. across 3 works || Addams Family Crossover || Experiments, Tags to Be Added) – "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. It's the family motto." "What does it mean?" "We gladly feast on those who would subdue us."
Given Unsought Is Better by lobstergirl (E, 36,597 w., 10 Ch. || Were Creature AU || Mystrade & Johnlock, Mind/Spirit Bonding, Fantasy, Mycroft Plays Piano, BAMF John, BAMF Mycroft) – Urban Fantasy AU in which DI Greg Lestrade actually is a silver fox, at least at times, and in which Mycroft Holmes reveals power beyond his minor post in the British Government and comes to accept that caring is not necessarily a disadvantage, and sometimes, hearts don't end up broken.
The Detective's Dragon by 9240Lena (NR, 50,750+ w., 10/? Ch. || WiP || Dragons / Modern Magical Realism AU || Transformation, Human Sherlock, Dragon John, Protective John, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Shapeshifting, Necromancy, Urban Fantasy, Supernatural Elements, Mythical Creatures / Beings) – Sherlock stumbles upon a interesting golden dragon at a weekend market after running away from Lestrade and his team with crime scene evidence. Sherlock got to know him as John. If only he knew, what it seems to be a start of a wonderful companionship is the start of events that brings them further into the world of magic, and the unknown.In response, Sherlock does what he knows best; learn, deduce, and thrive. (On indefinite hiatus)
Skeletons by flawedamythyst (T, 174,262 w. across 3 works || Nightmare Before Christmas Fusion ||  Implied Character Death) – Sherlock's refusal to talk about his past hides far more skeletons than John could ever have guessed at. Halloween-esque AU.
The Jewel in the Tower by PoppyAlexander (E, 207,079 w., 39 Ch. || Dystopian AU || Violence, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Mild Dub Con, One World Government, Class Issues, Assassin John / Geisha Sherlock, Self Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Espionage, Miscommunication, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Letters/Texting, Phone Sex, Infidelity, First Time, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Injury Recovery, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Scars, Misgendering, Happy Endings) – In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace – despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world's pleasure districts. John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world's most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned "drashaskaya," the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled. In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London's pleasure district. (PUBLISHED AS “At Night in the Floating World”)
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padme-amitabha · 3 months
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I don't like how TCW took away the classic, fairytale elements of Anakin and Padmé so they could be more "relatable" as a couple. That was neither necessary nor did it make any sense for their romance because that was never the point of them to begin with. They were the type to quite literally jump off a bridge for each other, call each other sweet names, always wanting to be close, the passion, the dreamlikeness, etc. They were more of the mythological, fairytale, classic literature type of couple. The ideal couple that, due to numerous unfortunate circumstances, it was doomed. Some people also argue that they would not have lasted, but they don't get that the rules that apply in the real world don't always have to apply in a fantasy setting. I've been seeing this kind of "remake" of fantastical, classic, fairytale(-esque) couples so they seem more realistic and modern, and it just saddens me (which is also why most Disney LA remakes also piss me off). It's because of what that series's portrayal of Anakin and Padmé that people either have this "bff" conception of their romance or that Padmé was always annoyed by him when she would have thrown away everything for him (and viceversa, ofc, I mean lol). Smh
I agree. TCW for me just goes against the original authorial intent. Although GL did make a lot of the decisions, he was not alone and ofc eventually Filoni and co took over. But when he started out he always said he didn't care about fans liking it. It was always about the story he intended to tell, whether they liked it or not. And that's so admirable to have a story be told just for itself and not for fanservice and it shows GL was passionate about it and he just had to retcon or brainstorm more because of the backlash. He always said SW is a homage to all the movies he loved. It's reminiscent of the cheesy soaps he grew up with and in the PT appreciation video I shared recently, it shows so many scenes are similar to older films. GL was even aware of the dialogue and how it wouldn't resonate with modern audiences but he needed it to fit in a specific style.
It's funny how fans appreciate how "classic" the OT is but expect the PT to be hyper modern when it should be even more rooted in mythology. The OT is fairytale-like too. I mean when you think about it the big bad is defeated by the power of love and Luke just forgives a man who killed so many people because he's his father who he doesn't even know? Vader even goes easy on him and he never actually is threatened by him. It's not very realistic either nor is it for Obi Wan to be hiding out in Tattooine and waiting to hand over a magic quest to Luke but it does work in fairytales because it is the hero's journey - like the prequels is similar to a Greek tragedy unfolding in three parts. It's supposed to be cheesy with morals and messages and recurring themes. And without any war when the galaxy is at its golden age so to speak, of course Anidala would be more of a Shakespearean romance with a dash of tragedy mixed in it. If GL can call them space Romeo and Juliet, he is acknowledging they are young and naive and impulsive and the audience isn't suppose to view them as ideals or think of RL relationships to be similar. None of the OT characters are particularly complex either and the ideologies are even more black and white. Ultimately, it's the message about family and love and yes it is very simplistic and fairytaleish because it's suppose to feel good. I don't get the point in trying to make it modern and realistic when it was never supposed to be one. It's space opera and fantasy - not science fiction. And tbh TCW makes the characters even more generic and westernized than they ever were in the prequels. Don't get me started on Chadakin and Girlboss!Padme (or discount Han and Leia) when they were much more imperfect, multifaceted characters in the movies while seamlessly fitting in with the fairytale-ish narrative.
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zigmenthotep · 5 months
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Hey there, wanna check out the first...ish science fiction role-playing game? It's got wacky mutants, a giant derelict spaceship, and the kind of incomplete rules you just kinda had to deal with in 1976!
Let's make us a Metamorphosis Alpha character!
And because this is Tumblr, and I can post images and a video, here's some fun images from the video.
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A very preliminary, low-detail, and tentative outline of important events in the expansion of hominids through near-Sol space in my main science fiction setting (will likely be subject to some change before the "final draft" that will inform my actual stories):
2-.5 million years ago: Aliens transplant some early hominids to some Earth-like worlds in other solar systems. I have a few different models of how this might have happened:
It was a Star Trek Preservers sort of deal: the aliens did it as part of a much bigger project of encouraging the diversification and spread of intelligent life in our galaxy.
Aliens came to Earth and established a colony here. These aliens were giant beings, at least comparable to elephants or T-Rex, maybe even as big as the biggest sauropod dinosaurs. They domesticated early hominids, finding it useful to have servants who were much smaller than them, had hands, and were smart enough to follow simple commands (so a little like @o-craven-canto's Gods of Salt scenario). They found their new domesticate useful enough to transplant some to some of their other colonies.
Similar to 2), but instead of being domesticated, a population of early hominids infiltrated the alien colony on their own initiative and became something roughly equivalent to urban racoons. Some of them eventually followed the aliens to the stars in approximately the same way mice, rats, and cockroaches will likely follow humans to the stars.
2) and 3) are compatible and might both have happened: domestic animals often go feral and survive as ferals in urban environments (see: pigeons, stray dogs, stray cats, etc.), and domestic dogs and cats probably started out as wild hangers-on attracted to the resources of human communities.
In the case of 1) the aliens would have had only scientific interest in Earth, the entire point of the relocation effort would have been to establish viable "wild" hominid populations on multiple worlds, and the relocation program probably looked kind of like our wolf re-introduction programs and the like. Once the aliens made a thorough study of Earth and were confident that the transplanted hominid populations were doing OK, they stepped back and let nature take its course.
In the case of 2) or 3), the aliens eventually disappeared for some reason (I have one idea that we'll get to later), leaving behind populations of hominids who survived by returning to something much more similar to the lifestyle of their "wild" ancestors. The alien colony on Earth might have existed during an era when sea levels were lower than they are now and been on what's now the Sunda Shelf or something like that, hence why its remains weren't found before the twenty-first century.
Significantly, all this happened long before our ancestors got as smart as we are. The hominids I'm talking about here might have been early Homo erectus who peaked at intelligence roughly equivalent to a human toddler. Or maybe this was even farther back and I'm talking about Homo habilis or something like that. Modern humans tend to pre-empt biological evolution with cultural innovation, e.g. faced with a cold climate, we invent warm clothing long before we might evolve fur, and therefore humans living in cold climates have no evolutionary impetus to evolve fur. Less intelligent early hominids probably did that to some degree too (control over fire is pretty old), but, being less smart than us, they'd have been less insulated from environmental selection pressures. So when these hominids were exposed to alien environments, they tended to start to evolve in different directions from their ancestor species on Earth. There was usually a tendency toward increased intelligence and self-domestication over time, eventually resulting in species about as smart and social as Earth humans, but a lot of these transplanted hominids got kind of weird before that happened or during that process (example: these people). So my setting is a bit All Tomorrows-ish.
15-13,000 years ago: One of the species descended from the transplanted hominids developed a high-tech civilization of their own.
Significant and relevant digression: in my setting, I think I'll go with a multiple filters explanation for the Fermi Paradox - with one of the filters being the Berserker option. I think the history I'm about to outline makes more sense if these not very successful interstellar colonization efforts I'm about to describe were more-or-less waves of refugees. I don't have a clear idea of what The Threat is at this point, except that it's something that's destroys emerging starflight-capable civilizations. I'm tentatively thinking it'll be something similar to the Omega Clouds from The Engines of God, but I don't have anything firm yet.
If I go with options 2) or 3) for how early hominids got transplanted to worlds in other star systems, The Threat is probably what destroyed the civilization of the big aliens. In that case, my guess is the hominids survived but the big aliens didn't because, with their high-tech civilization gone, the large size and hence large caloric requirements of the big aliens made them much more vulnerable to, well, a lot of things that kill off long-lived slow-breeding species.
The Threat destroyed this first hominid civilization to develop, probably within a few centuries of them developing interstellar travel capability, but before that happened this first hominid civilization managed to send out at least one slower than light colonial expedition, aimed at Sol.
Travelling at maybe .1-.2 c, the colonists endured a voyage of maybe 2-400 years by spending that time in a form of suspended animation. They arrived at Sol maybe 14,000 years ago, during the late Pleistocene great warming. They found a cool and wild but warming and relatively inviting planet, mostly thinly populated by hunter-gatherers, though a very early agricultural society existed in the hilly flanks of the Fertile Crescent. The colony ships were parked in orbit and the settlers descended to the new world and established a colony; tentatively, the primary colony site was near the mouth of the Shatt al-Arab, in a lowland that's now part of the Persian Gulf (I'll have to look up exactly how the coast in that region changed over time - I'm aware that technically the Shatt al-Arab is less than 10,000 years old, but I think there'd have been a similar river running through the lowland that's now the Persian Gulf in the ice age?).
The colony did OK at first, including establishing good relations with the native humans. With their advanced technology, it was easy for the colonists to gain favor with the native humans by giving them things from plastic bottles to vaccinations against common local diseases. The various major and minor colony sites soon developed satellite settlements of native humans attracted by the benefits that could be obtained from association with the colonists. There weren't all that many colonists, so the colonial society had a need for labor, so this arrangement was beneficial to the colonists too. Though technologically primitive, the native humans were as clever as the colonists and could be trained to operate and repair high-tech machinery, and their children could be educated to do the same. The colonial society and their native human associates soon began to merge into a mixed society. Though separated by something like a million years of evolution and biologically distinct, the colonists and the native humans were still similar enough to interbreed, so the two populations soon began to merge biologically as well, forming a hybrid species (a bit like the hominid equivalent of coydogs). Even including assimilated native humans and their descendants, the colonial society was never very big (maybe a few hundred thousand people at its peak), so there was plenty of room and resources, especially since the colony continued to maintain some space capacity and supplement their resources with asteroid mining.
Things might have gone OK for as long as a few centuries, until The Threat followed the colonists to their new home. Anticipating this possibility was a big part of the reason the colonists had chosen to maintain their space program, and many of them chose to respond to this development by fleeing again, seeking another, new world where they hoped they would finally be truly safe. The old colony ships, which had been maintained and used as orbital platforms, were refurbished and refueled for another centuries-long journey. It would be a riskier journey than the first one; the ships had deteriorated, and they would need to be modified to carry more passengers; the cryo-tube bays were dutifully expanded to accommodate the results of generations or centuries of population growth, including cultural assimilation of native humans; this meant the fuel tanks would need to be expanded too, or some mass of supplies and equipment would have to be sacrificed, or a lower delta V and hence extra decades of travel time and a proportionately increased risk of equipment failures on the journey would have to be accepted; every extra pound of passenger or cargo meant fifteen extra pounds of fuel; in the end, a mix of all these sacrifices was made.
A minority stayed behind, taking their chances on Earth, not trusting their survival to overloaded decayed rockets that would be called on to operate centuries past their best-by date, not trusting their survival to the hope that The Threat would not follow that exodus to its destination in turn. They watched the brilliant comets of the departing fusion rockets slowly dwindle in the night skies.
It would take centuries for the departing rockets to reach their destination system (tentatively, the star 82 Eridani). When they arrived, they might not have dared send a transmission to notify the ones left on Earth that they'd made it; they were running from an enemy that had found the refuge on Earth, after all. Even if they had dared send such a message, by the time it arrived there might not have been a working radio receiver on Earth capable of receiving it. The exodus had taken much of the colony's population and equipment with it. There was The Threat. And then any remnant of the colonial society that survived that was finished off by the Younger Dryas cold snap and the end-Pleistocene sea level rise. The rising oceans closed over the primary colony site near the mouth of the Shatt al-Arab and the secondary sites in Sundaland and Doggerland. The orbits of any remaining satellites decayed until they fell into Earth's atmosphere and were destroyed. The last descendants of the colonists mixed with the native humans and interbred with them and disappeared into history. On a few near-Earth asteroids some traces left by colonial mining operations remained; they would sit undisturbed for the next 13,000 years.
The exodus from Earth was successful, if one sets the bar for success at survival. The decaying colony ships held together all the way to 82 Eridani. When the time came for braking, the magsails unfurled and charged and caught the interstellar medium, making rockets with exhaust velocity equal to the flotilla's forward velocity, slowly bringing the flotilla to a velocity that would allow it to be captured by 82 Eridani's gravity. The colony ships came to rest in orbit of the Earth-like world in 82 Eridani's habitable zone, and the refugees from Earth went down to their new world in shuttles.
But the effort exhausted the colonial society, which's resources were never very large. The new society on the new world in the 82 Eridani system was unable to maintain a viable high-tech civilization; they had the tools, but they didn't have all the tools they needed to make the tools anymore. So they slowly regressed to a society of low-tech subsistence agriculturalists and hunter-gatherers, not much more advanced than the society that now existed on Earth. In the process, the descendants of the colonists and the descendants of the Earth humans they'd mixed with fully merged into a single hybrid species, though a regionally heterogenous one with different traits in different regions resulting from demographic differences between the initial settler populations of various initial colony sites.
The remaining societies on Earth and the 82 Eridani planet may have survived because The Threat is programmed to destroy starflight-capable societies (and societies with technology advanced enough that they could easily become starflight-capable) and they were now too primitive to trigger its target-recognition systems.
4-3,000 years ago: the Eridani civilization: The humans on 82 Eridani's Earth-like planet eventually developed a high-tech civilization of their own, though it took them about 10,000 years.
The Eridani high-tech civilization followed the same general trajectory as the hominid civilization that came before them: lasted some centuries and then was destroyed by The Threat, managed to send out some slower-than-light colonial expeditions before being destroyed, but these expeditions were launched in desperation and weren't well-equipped to form a viable self-sustaining high-tech society in their destination system, so most Eridani colonies regressed to relatively low-tech agricultural societies within a few centuries of their founding.
The Eridani and/or the Pleistocene hominid civilization may have invented hyperdrive shortly before the end of their civilization, but if so the invention came too late to do them much good, basically just allowing them to send out a secondary wave of refugees.
The Eridani weren't able to give their colonies the best start, but they were fairly prolific at sending out colonial expeditions. Most present-day human populations are descended from Eridani colonial expeditions.
3-4,000 years is long enough for a lot of cultural change, but not long enough for much biological evolution. However, the Eridani were the product of a regionally heterogenous hybridization between Homo sapiens and another hominid species, and the genetic bottlenecking of interstellar colonization sometimes interacted with this in ways that gave the populations of certain colonies a distinct "look." Also, early in their development Eridani colonies sometimes anticipated the loss of high technology (they had the tools, but they didn't have all the tools they needed to replace the tools) and decided to use the window in which they still had functional space age legacy technology to genetically engineer their descendants to better tolerate the conditions of their new world (e.g. colonists on a high gravity world might genetically engineer their descendants for better tolerance of high gravity); this meant Eridani expansion caused a considerable increase in human physical diversity.
The Eridani were recent enough that present society has relatively good records of them and most of humanity has a relatively strong cultural memory of their society (present day Earth humans are one of the major exceptions regarding the second thing). The civilization that sent the colonial expedition to Earth in the late Pleistocene might be about as mysterious as the Minoans, the Eridani are going to be about as mysterious as the classical Romans or ancient Egyptians (that is to say, there's probably going to be some significant gaps in our knowledge about them, but their society will be basically pretty well understood by present humans, we'll know the names of a lot of their leaders and so on, we'll be able to read their literature, and a lot of people and institutions will have used continuity with them as a prestige claim over the centuries).
The Eridani probably sent a colonial expedition to Sol, but the Eridani colony on Earth did not thrive, eventually went the way of the Greenland Norse, and had minimal effect on Earth's history and cultural development. There might be a record of contact with them in some ancient Egyptian tomb inscription, if you know what to look for.
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casual-eumetazoa · 8 months
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After a small uptick in followers, I am now getting close to 500 subs on YouTube:
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[image description: header of a youtube channel titled Bootstrap Paradox; the icon is a photo of the Bootes void surrounded by stars; the text reads 461 subscribers, 9 videos; the channel description cuts out in the middle of the sentence, and reads "Greetings, fellow humanoid. I am a fiction writer, a PhD student of evolution..."]
On this occasion, may I interest you in some of my video essays, which have not much in common other than my utter dedication to the topic and, most of the time, questionable outfits and makeup.
Science Has An Accountability Problem
First in an anthology (that will get done, I promise, as soon as I replace all of my equipment that decided to break) exploring the problems of 21st century academia. I am a PhD student full of righteous rage and I will get to the bottom of every single thing that infuriates me about this system. This one explores scientific fraud: how often it happens, why it happens, and what we can do about it.
Pokemon Evolutions Are Real... Kind Of
Brought to you by my boyfriend's pokemon hyperfixation mixed with my master's in evolutionary biology. It's about metamorphosis, puberty, evo-devo, and, well, Pokemon. Watch it to find out why genetics is less of a computer code and more of an instruction for Ikea furniture.
Disability and Capitalism 2-parter
Two videos that took a monumental amount of research to put together, exploring the history, the reality, and the potential future of disability, as well as it's connection to our current economic systems. If you've heard of the medical model and the social model of disability but have never encountered the economic model of disability, you should probably watch this. Or don't, I'm not your boss. Anyway, there is a fun sci-fi-ish sketch at the beginning.
Representation DIY: Autistic Headcanons
My first ever video essay, so the quality is what it is, but I'm still proud of it. Explores the concept of media representation, my personal experiences as an autistic person, and why I think that autistic headcanons are often better than canon autistic characters written by allistic writers. Also, a lot of Jonathan Creek. For the fans of the incredibly niche British TV and detective magicians.
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This isn't everything I have, so feel free to click on the channel and check stuff out. I still harbour some hope to maybe eventually some day become a full-time video essayist because with my combination of autism, chronic illness, and existing as a very queer person in a very traditional and catholic Eastern European country, working from home might be my only option of being ok after I get my PhD. So yeah, every subscription helps.
Reblogs do a lot, btw. Even if you have like 3 followers, trust me. Your one reblog just might make this my career in a couple of years. So any interaction is highly appreciated.
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Book Review 14 - The Best of Nancy Kress, by Nancy Kress
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Okay, continuing to work through my backlog on these! And learning the perils of letting it build for a month because my memories of most of the stories in this are already getting a bit vague and scattered.
So, getting the basic details out of the way – my first short story collection of the year, 600 pages of the works of Nancy Kress, curated and selected by the author herself as all her favourites that would fit in one volume. Someone on here (can’t remember who and tumblr search is being its usual unusuable self, unfortunately) recommended Beggars In Spain to me a while back, and this was the only volume my library system had that included it. So, 500-ish pages of other stories as a nice bonus until I got to the end and remembered that that’s the reason I’d gotten the book out in the first place.
The stories run from less than ten pages to a novella, and Kress includes a little half-page afterward following each. Usually either a reflection on the meaning of the story or an anecdote about its writing or reception, and then where and when it was originally published and any awards it won. And there were a lot of awards You can get a lot of short stories nominated for Hugos over 45 years of writing. The little snapshots of a, like, SF/F writer subculture and the relationships therein were all charming, anyway.
The stories themselves were of pretty wildly varying subject matter, though all science fiction of one kind or another. Everything from post-apocalyptic ruins to spaceships studying the galactic core to the drama and intrigue of gene-modding among high class ballerinas twenty minutes from now. The quality varied – it would pretty much have to, for like two dozen stories written across a span of decades – but overall it was really quite good.
Tone was rather more consistent. Some were happier than others, of course, but even the most fantastical and high concept worlds were pretty grimy and compromised and full of petty politics and pettier assholes. Capital H Heroes were pretty thin on the ground, even (especially) among the various protagonists. Kress seems to have a rare love for women who aren’t just, like, spiky, but genuinely flawed and unpleasant to be around (easier to pull off with short stories than novels, I suppose).
Short stories are great for just putting people in situations generally, really – not sure how long you could really draw out ‘feeling awkward and shitty because the guy you’re having an affair with was on a ‘business trip’ to visit you when aliens abducted and/or killed everyone in the city his wife and kids were in. He absolutely blames you for this,’ but it’s sure a hook!
Familial relationships that are, lets go with troubled, are a whole other recurring theme, too. Sororicidal sisters, deadbeat dads, obsessive ex-wives, parents putting their children through experimental gene-therapy to make sure they grow up with the ideal body to vicariously live out their dreams, the whole set. There’s even some dubiously consensual clone incest at one point!
Though honestly the lack of capital-h Heroes goes beyond just morality – thinking about it, most of the short stories are told from the perspective of observers, survivors, sufferers of exotic diseases, journalists poking at a mess from the outside. People whose world is being acted upon by forces far beyond their control, if not beyond their understanding entirely, and either bearing witness or struggling to adapt and get by. The stories where the protagonists had real agency – the scientists exploring the galaxy’s core, the time-travellers taking an alternate Anne Boleyn hostage to prevent the English Civil Wars – are usually the tragedies. There are a lot of those – or, if not tragedies, then at least stories that end badly for almost everyone involved. I’m halfway convinced that short stories are just a more appealing format for properly bleak fiction, really – less investment in characters’ wellbeing, or narrative expectations pushing towards growth or happy endings.
And now, before I focus on discussing Beggars In Spain specifically, some call outs for the short stories that really stuck in my head
The aforementioned gene-moding scandals in New York ballet, partially told through the perspective of the engineered-to-be-as-smart-as-a-5-year-old bespoke guard dog contracted to protect a start ballerina. Nicely understated cyberpunk setting and also felt extremely realistic as the sort of thing we’ll absolutely be having scandals about in fifty years tbh.
A woman discovering that the aliens are here amid the ruins of postwar Earth because they started getting our television broadcasts and decided that the only thing we had worth taking was dogs, but are stuck here until they figure out how to train them to be as good and heroic as they are in the movies.
A disenchanted and nostalgic man in the 80s finding a specific cupboard that goes back to one specific day in 1935 (I think. Pre-war but Roosevelt administration). He uses this exclusively to make his social security cheque go further and buy little presents for his friend with what in the 80s is pocket change. The actual plot involves despairing over how cynical and bleak-minded his granddaughter the artist is, and deciding to go back and a Good Man to introduce her to.
An extremely short one – just a one-scene vignette, really – about a waitress in a vaguely ‘50s diner when one of the aliens whose been in the news so much escapes their minders and wants to try an apple pie.
(There were also, I must admit, a decent number of stories that left me cold or that I just didn’t see the point of including, but, again, pretty much inevitable in any big collection, isn’t it?)
But okay, so! Beggars in Spain! It’s definitely an interesting novella, and given the fact that it’s 30 years old and was by all accounts incredibly successful I do kind of wonder how many common tropes about the whole super-intelligent designer babies conceit I’ve encountered elsewhere first are downstream of it?
Because I mean, ostensibly it’s about children modified in utero to not need to sleep, but practically that cashes out to them all being creative productive polyglot geniuses. Which is certainly the fantasy of never having to sleep with zero downsides, though honestly I’m pretty sure I’d spend at least half the extra time fucking around online. That said, the sense of alienation the protagonist has dealing with a world where almost everyone around her seems to just be wasting a third of their lives laying down is really well done.
It’s the sort of novella that you could probably write a dozen a dozen different essays about, and would probably benefit from being analyzed with less than a month’s distance and quotes on hand, but for all the futurism (and really not the best story in the collection for that, honestly), the thematic throughline that stood out to me is actually just libertarianism? Or not quite the right word, probably, though it is our heroine’s ideology (she is, after all, the favoured daughter of a self-made magnate, amid a social circle of the golden children of the striving upper-middle class). But the specific idea of enlightened selfishness, that the contract is the basis of all society, that no one owes anyone anything, and you are only worth what you can produce to offer up in exchange to others.
It’s where the title comes from, after all – the eponymous beggars with nothing to offer except their need who are entirely superfluous and inconvenient to the lives of the Sleepless ubermensch; what are they owed? The orthodox answer of the movement basically every major character at least ostensibly ascribes to is ‘nothing’.
Not that any of them actually act like individuals interacting solely through mutually beneficial contracts, which I’m fairly sure is in fact the point – the Sleepless invent nationalism before any of them turn thirty, going to great effort to support and look after each other on the basis of Sleepless-solidarity and an assumption that each of them is the future of humanity. And on the other hand, the protagonist’s father is a domineering, overbearing ass of a partner, draining both of his wives’ personality and will to live in turn until they get tired of being bitter social secretaries for him and quit. Equitable, contractual relationships are thin on the ground – and of course the entire climax is the protagonist relying on friends and an estranged sister to rescue an abused child who surely isn’t likely to pay any of them back for the effort anytime soon.
I thought the hypocrisy was neatly done, anyway. Especially since it’s never really confronted – none of the Sleepless ever show the slightest awareness that the lengths they’ll go to for the sake of each other purely on the basis of their shared enhancements seem to contradict the ideology they treat as holy writ.
Overall not exactly my favourite book of the year, but a fair bit better than a lot of what I’ve read so far. So I’ll call it a win. Just for the time capsule effect of reading stories written by the same author across four decades, if nothing else.
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