#Joe can read Harry like a book and I am so here for it
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Hi!! This is my first fic that I’m posting. I wrote it loosely based on this love by taylor. I write for my own enjoyment usually but this is my first time sharing my work!! I hope you enjoy it <3
word count: 7.5k (got carried away lol)
tw: smut MDNI!!, hints at dom harry, fluff, angst, drinking, kind of feelings of regret, mentions of a cheating partner.…i think that’s it but lemme know if i missed any :’)
This Love Left A Permanent Mark
This was a terrible idea.
My inner monologue has been repeating the phrase through my head like a mantra from the moment I walked through the glass doors of the club.
In hindsight, I don’t know why I didn’t think this sooner. Why did I think coming to my ex-boyfriend's album release party was a good idea? In what world would that ever be a good idea? Especially the way we ended things. I mentally note to never let Ginny talk me into something like this ever again, even if she is dating a member of his team. I recall the conversation we had about it a mere four days before this moment.
“It’ll be fun! And he’ll be busy talking to people all night anyway. He won’t even know you’re there, probably.” she insisted
“I don’t know, Gin. I really don’t want to crash his night.” I mumble, twiddling with the menu on the table in front of me.
“You need to get out of the house. All you do is sit and read your books and play your guitar. It makes me sad and depressed.” her nose crinkles in displeasure.
“What’s wrong with that?” I shoot back, raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing, I guess.” She shrugs. “I just think you deserve to have a good night. I won’t tell Joe you’re coming so he doesn’t mention it to Harry. You can just hang around and mingle and drink and dance with me.” She reaches over the table and takes my hand in hers. “Please. We haven’t had a night out in so long.” she gives me a pouty lip and I roll my eyes.
“We could go out any other night.” I point out and she sighs loudly.
“True…but this would be perfect. You don’t have to pay for any drinks or deal with sleazy guys at the bar. Just industry people doing industry people things and listening to the album at a big party.”
I contemplate her request. What’s there to lose? I weigh the options in my head for a moment. If I don’t go, she’s right, and I’ll just sit in my room all night flipping through the same romcoms and sitcoms that I’ve already watched 3 times over. I’ve been doing fine for a few months now. I’ve been going on dates again, and meeting new guys. On the other hand, no one will ever be him and I have no idea how I’ll react if I do end up seeing him…or if he sees me. But, there will be so many people there, he’ll be mingling, and he probably won’t see me, right?
“Fine. But if he sees me, I’m bolting. .” I mutter and she squeals in excitement.
Now here I am, sitting at the bar alone in the same spot for the past 45 minutes. Ginny is nowhere to be found, and I’m in an uncomfortable dress that’s too short for my typical comfort zone and the sequins are making me itchy. I twirl the straw around in my drink and sigh, holding my head in my hand.
On the plus side, I’ve avoided him for most of the night. The first time I spotted him was when he was walking into the club, making his grand entrance. I was hiding behind Ginny and he didn’t see me. But when I saw him my heart skipped. He’s wearing a cream colored suit, that looks almost a baby pink color if it’s in the right light, with a white tank top underneath that shows off his toned chest along with the two swallows tattooed on his tanned skin, and his cross necklace hanging from his neck. He’s got a pair of glasses with orange colored lenses perched on his head also. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I was on his arm right now.
This was a terrible idea.
It’s been over a year since I saw him last. I don’t even know what he’s writing about in his music because I avoid every single thing about him. Arguably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do because he’s everywhere right now. If I see his name in the news, I don’t read the article. If he’s on the TV, I change the channel. I scroll past anything I see that his name associated with it. I learned my lesson the hard way in the beginning. I purposely searched his name in the weeks following our tumultuous end, and saw so many pictures of him with other women…and every time I saw him with them, the picture of him that I saw that night comes to my brain. So I stopped putting myself through that misery.
I hear a loud noise like someone patting a microphone. I turn my head to see Harry standing at the front of the room on a small stage. He’s looking out to the crowd of people who are now mostly turned to face him. He looks my way for a moment, and I feel my breath catching in my throat, but then he skips over me and continues skimming the crowd, and I let go of the breath I was holding.
“Hello, I’m Harry.” His deep voice sounds so smooth in the microphone and my stomach churns. It’s been so long since I’ve heard his voice.
“We know!” Someone yells back to him and the room erupts in laughter, making Harry chuckle into the microphone. So many thoughts are going through my head while I stare across the room at him, like the last time I heard him laugh like that. I turn back to face my drink so I don’t have to look at him. How good he looks.
“I just wanted to say thank you all for coming. It really means the world to me that I get to celebrate the release of my third album with all of you. I wouldn’t be here, in this moment, if it weren’t for every single one of you. All of you have played such an important role in making me the artist that I am. So thank you.” I sneak a peek at him from the corner of my eye. He brings his hand up to place over his heart in an endearing gesture. “Now, let’s get this show on the road and listen to it, shall we?” He says cheekily and the crowd sounds off with applause and cheers. The speakers in the room begin to play the tune of the first song and he walks off the stage making his way around the crowd of people, stopping to shake hands and chat with some of them.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and flinch in surprise, only to whip my head around and see Ginny hopping up into the seat next to me. I shoot her a look that shows I’m not happy with her and she tilts her head. The song changes and the next song is just as upbeat as the first.
“What? What’s wrong?” She questions and I roll my eyes.
“I’ve been sitting here alone for 45 minutes. You left me. You said you wouldn’t.” I pout, looking back down at my half-empty drink.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Joe wanted to introduce me to some people and then I lost track of time. I won’t leave again. I’m yours for the night. Promise.” She wraps her arm around my shoulders and squeezes me into her and I smirk. She orders a drink and I turn to face the crowd again. I don’t see Harry anywhere, and I feel the tension I was holding in my shoulders release a fraction.
We sit for a while, drinking and chatting amongst ourselves and other people who come to the bar while they’re waiting for their drinks to be made. They mostly talk to Ginny and ask how things with Joe are going, while I just listen and add little bits to the conversation here and there. I’m turned to face her at the same moment the 5th song ends and turns to a slower one, not as upbeat as the others. And they’re all so good. His talent really shining through in all of these words he’s written.
The chatter dies down a little, everyone taking in the beginning of the song before it picks back up again. Some people are swaying to the music and others are standing in groups. While looking through the crowd I spot some of Harry’s famous friends and when one of them makes eye contact and waves at me, I wave back. I feel a little stab in my chest, thinking back to a time Harry and I would be over there talking to them together. We would talk about how their projects are going and their plans for the future. Harry would always have his arm draped over my shoulder, pulling me closer to his side and kissing the top of my head. I sigh and continue to look around the room, looking for anyone else I might know, but then I spot him.
He’s sitting in a large curved booth with three others. He’s leaned over listening to one of them speak. I watch as his jaw clenches, and a small piece of hair falls down over his forehead. His eyes crinkle the way I always remember when he smiles and I can feel my breath leave my chest, just looking at him like this stole it away. His hand comes up to push his hair back off of his forehead while he nods and I catch the rings adorned on all of his fingers. One of them in particular catches my eye though.
The lion ring.
I gave him the ring as a gift for our anniversary a few years ago. He used to wear it every time he performed, but I didn’t realize he still wore it. You would if you’d ever pay attention to him, my conscience informs me and I swallow the thick lump in my throat. Ginny taps me on the shoulder once, pausing before tapping again, I turn my head towards her, but my gaze was still on the ring on his finger. My eyes work my way back up to his face before I tear them away, admiring his features for another moment. His beautiful green eyes…but when I turn to look at Ginny, I have to do a double take back to him.
Wait.
His eyes?
After a single second my brain catches up and registers that he’s looking at me. He opened his mouth once, then closed it again, his brow furrowed and shaking his head. I see the confusion laced through his expression, and I’m cursing myself, but I can’t look away.
“Fuck.” I manage to squeak out, and Ginny follows my gaze over to Harry.
“Oh shit. Laine, don’t—” she starts to say something but stops when he’s holding up his hand to whoever is speaking to him, signaling for them to give him a moment, and his eyes never leave mine.
“Laine?” I saw him mouth my name. A sight I’ve memorized ten times over. My breathing, my heart, and my mind all stop. Everything stops. It felt like the entire world stopped turning.
Within two seconds he’s standing, pushing his way through groups of people towards me. As he stands, I’m running for the door. I don’t look back. I just keep moving forward through the groups of people, pushing myself through…in the same sense that I have been for 19 months now. Running away and never looking back.
“Run away like you have from everything else.” The words that have infiltrated every single thought in my head for the past 19 months.
This was a terrible idea.
I’m pushing to the door, the air suddenly thick with dread that clouds my mind. I can’t breathe and it’s suddenly so hot. The room around me blurs and I can’t see where I am because there are tears clouding my vision. I’m blinking fast to clear them and all I hear are the last words he ever said to me, and then I feel the familiarity of his touch, and the flashback of the fight comes so quickly that it hits me like a freight train. Coming to the forefront so easily after I’ve tried so hard to just forget.
“Laine! Stop. Please, you don’t have to do this.” His voice drops an octave on the last few words, desperate for me to stay, and I knew I couldn’t.
“No, H. I can’t. This isn’t working. I can’t keep sitting here waiting for you to care about this, about us, when you’re photographed necking a girl at a bar. I sit here looking like a damn fool, waiting for you to love me.” My voice trembles and I shove him away from me.
“It wasn’t even what it looked like! You’re being irrational.” He throws his hands up in the air.
“Me? Irrational? Don’t. We’re falling apart. You’ve been growing so distant. Every time you go out you’re photographed with some other girl…and this time you’re all over her? I know we haven’t been the best lately but this is too much. You’ve gone too far.” I argue back, throwing things into a bag.
“You should know the paps twist everything. Please let me explain!” He’s practically yelling now, and I turn back to face him, rage clouding my mind.
“You cannot explain away this one Harry. All I wanted was for you to look at me the way you look at them. You used to. I used to be the only one you looked at.” My voice trembles, the tears threatening to spill. “It’s time to stop lying to ourselves, this was over a long time ago.” I snap at him with a shake of my head. He looks at me, defeated.
“Fine, Laine. Just go. Run away from this like you have everything else in your life. You’re so predictable.” He shoots back and I visibly flinch, I never thought he would use my past against me.
“You don’t get to say those things to me after doing this. This is your fault. I’m done. It’s over. Go call your new girl, I’m sure she’s waiting for you.” I grit through my teeth. I don’t let him say anything else before I walk out the door, leaving the only place I've ever called home behind.
“Let go of me!” I yell, trying to catch my breath and gasping for air. Trying to push and pull my way out of the grip on my arm. I know it’s him. I’d know the feeling of his hands anywhere. My eyes are squeezed shut.
“Hey! Laine, calm down. Look at me.” He shakes me slightly trying to get me to come back down to earth. I feel his hands let go of my arms and he grabs my face. “Please. Look at me.” I shake my head.
“I can’t. Because if I open my eyes and you’re really standing there and it’s not a dream, I will pass out.” I say quickly, so quickly that my words run together and I’m not sure he even understood what I said. But what am I so afraid of? It’s just Harry. But then again, my mind is replaying his words from that night over and over again. Run away like you have from everything else.
“If you do, I’m right here. I’ll catch you.” His voice is deep and he speaks slowly. His hands are still holding my face. I don’t respond, my lips pressed together in a thin line. My heart is beating out of my chest.
“What are you doing here Laine?” He asks, so quietly it was almost a whisper.
“I-,” I stop myself, realizing I have no good explanation, to collect my thoughts. I realize that my eyes are still tightly closed, and I probably look ridiculous. But now that he’s here and the entire world hasn’t imploded yet, I’m beginning to come back down to earth. I realize I don’t hear the music, I don’t hear anyone else talking, and my back is against a cool concrete wall. I open my eyes slowly, and I’m outside, and he’s there. Right there in front of me, not a dream, not a figment of my imagination. His eyes are so green, his jaw is sharp with little bits of stubble beginning to grow. His lips are full and pink, and they look so, so kissable. His hair is perfectly wavy sitting on top of his head, and he’s just close. Closer than he’s been in so many months. I turn my head, looking away from him and down the alley. I take a shaky breath.
“Ginny invited me. I don’t think she told Joe I was coming. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I-I didn’t think…” My gaze travels back to his, and he’s smirking.
“Didn’t think what? That you’d run into me at my own album party?” He asks.
“In hindsight it was not the smartest decision.” I mutter and look down at the ground. I can’t look at him. If I look at him again I’ll want to kiss him and I can’t do that, not anymore. “I think I’m just gonna go home.” I add and look back up at him through my lashes.
“Don’t. Stay. I’m sorry that I scared you. I just haven’t seen you in so long, it caught me off guard. I didn’t know if it was really you sitting there or if my mind was playing tricks on me again.” He rubs his hands down my arms, stopping at my wrists and going back up again, keeping me warm in the cool night air.
“Again?” My brow furrows.
“Yeah. Again. See you everywhere I turn, have since…” He trails off, then shakes his head slightly. “Please, come back in…I’m sorry that I startled you.”
“I need to anyway. I ran out and left all of my stuff with Ginny.” I wrap my arms around my torso to try and shield myself from the cold. He moves out of my way and stands beside me. We walk back inside in awkward silence, and this feels like some terrible kind of walk of shame. He holds the door for me and I mumble a thank you. Someone catches his attention when we walk into the main area so he stops to talk to them and I take that as my cue to walk away before it’s even more awkward. I make my way back over to the bar and Ginny is still in her seat. Her eyes widen at me as she sips through her straw.
“Oh my god. Are you okay? I didn’t know what to do. I saw him coming this and then you were running and then he ran after you and I just froze. I’m sorry. Should I have come to save you?” she rambles on and I shake my head.
“It’s fine. I think I just overreacted. I haven’t seen him in so long and when I saw him coming towards me I panicked. Nothing bad happened.” I sigh and run my hands over my face. My mind wanders, thinking about what he said. He said he sees me everywhere, and he has since the night I left. I didn’t think he even wanted anything else to do with me. Thinking about what he said pulls at my heartstrings and I’m confused…I decide I don’t want to feel this way.
I order a drink from the bartender.
Then another.
Then another.
And before I know it, another hour has gone by, and I’m drunk and on the dance floor laughing with Ginny. I have a drink in one hand and the other above my head, holding onto Ginny’s and swaying our hips together. I’ve not felt this way in a long time. I feel on top of the world, like I’m floating. She leans into me and whispers something in my ear but I don’t quite catch it. I turn towards her with a confused look on my face.
She gestures her head across the room and my gaze travels that direction. I look to find Harry, sitting in the same booth as before. He’s leaned back with one leg crossed so his ankle is resting on his knee. He’s got a drink in his hand, bringing it up to his mouth with a smirk on his face. Smirking at me.
“He’s been watching you for, like, the past 10 minutes. I know because I counted.” Ginny slurs in my ear and I look at her with an eyebrow raised.
“You counted?” I repeated back, skeptical. I don’t think I could even count to 20 right now.
“Um, yeah. It was for like two and a half songs that’s pretty much the same as 10 minutes right?” Her words run together and I turn my head to look at him again over my shoulder. A woman is sitting next to him, trying to get his attention and he’s nodding to whatever she’s saying, but his eyes are still on me.
I don’t really think my brain can comprehend why he’s staring at me in this moment. So I keep dancing with Ginny, and then eventually with other people too. I end up dancing with one of his friends that came up to talk to me, his arm around my shoulder and jumping around, singing the words to a popular song we’ve all heard repeatedly on the radio. I don’t remember when it happened because all my thoughts are running together and Ginny just keeps handing me drinks, and I’m so grateful for that. Grateful that he doesn’t come over to me. But why was he grinning at me like that?
Another hour goes by, I’m standing at a table talking to someone I’ve never met before, but Ginny knows them. Another one of Joe’s clients he manages, I think. I don’t really remember. I’m sipping my drink through a straw, slightly swaying to the music and listening to one of the women at the table speak when I feel hands on my waist, pulling me away from the table. I stumble backwards, feeling my back collide with a strong chest. I turn my head to see that Harry is the one pulling me away. His eyes are dilated and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He grabs my hand, pulling me into the shadows of the club where no one can see us. He leans down and I can feel his breath on my ear.
“You look so tempting. It’s not fair.” He cups his hand around my cheek, running his fingers down my jaw line then holding my chin between his thumb and finger. He tilts my head up so my eyes meet his. He reaches up, running his thumb over my mouth, pulling my lip as he drags it down. He breathes a heavy sigh through his nose. Bravely, and not in the right state of mind, I gently bite his thumb between my teeth, closing my lips around it and sucking lightly. He chuckles and shakes his head. He just looks so good.
“You’re killing me.” He groans and drops his forehead to meet mine. “All I want right now is you and I can’t have you.”
“Who says you can’t?” I whisper back to him, looking up at him through my lashes, and our faces are so close. So close all I can see are his eyes. He grins and leans in, leaving a small kiss on my neck under my ear, and I feel tingling where his lips touch. I can smell his cologne. I would recognize it anywhere. He grabs my hand and leads me through the crowds of people towards the back door.
“My place or yours?” He asks, his eyes peeking at me over his shoulder.
“Yours.” I answer back without hesitation.
He opens the door and I feel the cold air biting my skin, instantly making my body shiver. We’re walking fast towards his car, his hand still wrapped around mine and pulling me along behind him. He walks me around to the passenger side of his car and opens the door for me. I slide into the seat and my teeth are chattering, when he comes to the drivers side he takes his jacket off and hands it to me over the center console.
We drive to his apartment in silence, his jacket shrugged over my shoulders. The air is filled with tension, both sexual and nervous. I don’t want to speak because I don’t know what to say. He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles, making my heart flutter in my chest. Like he always used to. I don’t pull away. I let him hold my hand against his mouth.
We make our way up to his apartment with haste. The elevator stops and opens to his penthouse, and once we’re inside he’s pushing me against the wall, not wasting a single second, and his lips finding mine. He grabs my hips so hard that I’m sure there will be bruises. When my mouth opens he’s slipping his tongue inside and I feel my knees weaken. He kisses me like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to.
He’s grabbing my thighs and lifting me up, all without breaking the kiss and instinctively my legs wrap around his waist. My hands work their way into his hair and pull slightly, making him groan into my mouth. He carries me into his room, the room we used to share, and lays me down ever so gently. He’s hovering over me, his knee between my thighs and putting pressure on my center. His kiss and his touch feel so familiar that it hurts, and I can feel it in my bones. Something I’ve longed for since the very last time. I feel my muscles melting into the bed with the weight of him on my chest. I moan into the kiss and he pulls away slightly.
“Been thinking about this for so fucking long, Laine. Think about you every day.” He whispers, touching his forehead to mine. My brain feels fuzzy and somewhere in my mind my conscience is telling me not to sleep with him, that I’ll regret it, but I push the thought out of my mind and focus on him hovering over me, paying attention to me. The only thing I’ve ever wanted him to do. The only thing I’ve craved for the past 19 months.
“Just kiss me.” I say breathlessly, and he does. His hand travels to the nape of my neck and grips tightly, holding my face to his. His lips are as soft as I remember. My veins are buzzing with a mixture of pleasure and alcohol, and I feel the heat grow through my entire body. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m grinding my hips against his thigh that's still between my legs and I whimper into his mouth at the friction it gives and he pulls his lips away just far enough to speak.
“Needy girl.” He purrs and I nod, lolling my head to the side while still moving my hips against his thigh. “Look at you. Need me this badly? No one else than take care of you like me, can they?” He pushes his leg against me harder and I gasp. “Answer me.” He grits through his teeth.
“No.” I choke out, “Nobody but you.” I whine, telling him what he wants to hear. And it’s the truth. Nobody could ever make me feel the way he does.
His hands travel down my body and push my dress over my hips, exposing me to him. He pulls away and looks down at the lacy piece of white fabric settled on my body, biting his lip and running his finger across the waistband, his light touches making me shiver.
“Is this okay?” He murmurs and I nod.
In one swift motion he hooks his finger in the fabric and pulls them down my legs, kneeling in front of my knees. He hooks his arms under my legs and palms the top of my thighs. I close my eyes and feel his breath trailing over my thighs and ghosting over the spot where I needed him the most. He peppers small kisses on my inner thighs, teasing me. I reach my hand down and tangle my fingers in his hair.
“You’re dripping.” He grins and looks up at me through his lashes. “All for me?” His warm breath on my wet center sends chills up my spine.
“No one else. Please, Har. Need you.” I say breathlessly, and I feel him smirk against my skin, grabbing my legs and opening them so far I feel the stretch in my muscles.
“How much?” He mutters, his voice low and gravelly.
“Please. So much. Need you so much.” I whine and gasp when I feel his tongue begin to lap at my clit, barely letting me finish my sentence. My back arches off the bed and he uses his hands to grab my hips and force me back down. He groans against me and the vibrations travel through my body, making me writhe against the bed. My hand still in his hair tugs at the root slightly, making his eyes flutter closed. My other hand grips the bed sheets so tightly I can feel my nails digging into my palm through the fabric. He trails his tongue down to my leaking hole and thrusts it inside while his nose creates friction at my bundle of nerves.
“Fuck, Harry. So good. Feels so good.” I manage to gasp out between moans in broken phrases. He lifts his head and his chin is glistening with my arousal and he smirks. Going back in fervently he brings me closer and closer to the edge. I feel the coil tighten in my belly and he doesn’t stop.
“I’m so close.” I whisper between gasps and he moans against me again, and the vibration it provides is enough to send me over the edge. The coil snaps and my vision goes white, and I’m moaning his name over and over while he continues to move his tongue against me and working me through my high. I try to push him away from my body on his shoulders but he’s stronger than I am, and the overstimulation brings tears to my eyes and he stares back at me devilishly as he thrusts his tongue into me and my hips buck.
“Please.” I whisper breathlessly. “Hurts, Har.” I gasp as he licks against my now sensitive clit. Finally, he pulls his mouth away from me and stands between my legs at the edge of the bed. My eyes, barely open, travel down his body and stop at the outline of his hard cock in his pants. I sit up and hurriedly work on undoing his belt, not saying a word. I look up at him through my lashes and he’s watching me intently. He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and squeezes, letting me know what he wants. Once his belt is undone I push his pants and underwear down and his cock springs free and hits his abdomen. My mouth waters at the sight, a sight I’ve been dreaming of for months.
I lean forward, wasting no time and lick up his length and he tips his head back with a low groan. I wrap my lips around his leaking tip and suck lightly, then spitting. I pull him into my mouth until he touches the back of my throat and I swallow around him, causing him to curse and tangle his fingers in my hair. He holds my head there for a moment and then let’s go, and I’m coming back up for air before going right back in. I flatten my tongue around him and the tip hits the back of my throat again, my nose meeting the skin of his waist.
“Fuck.” He hisses between his teeth. “If you keep doing that I’m not gonna last.” He moans with his head thrown back, looking at the ceiling. I pull back and take a breath through my nose before repeating the motions over and over, his tip repeatedly hitting the back of my throat until I gag and that’s when something snaps in him. He grabs my hair and twists it in around his fist, moving his hips so he’s fucking my mouth. I moan, causing a vibration to travel from my throat through his cock and then he’s pulling me off, a string of saliva falling out of my mouth. He grabs both sides of my face, pulling me to stand and kissing me with so much force it almost knocks me over completely. “Don’t wanna finish yet. Not done with you.” He mumbles against my lips before pressing them against mine again.
He pushes me down onto the bed and climbs over me. He wastes no time settling himself between my legs. He pulls my dress off over my head and throws it somewhere in the room. He brings his hands up to cup my breasts, and then he tweaks both of my nipples between his fingers, making my mouth drop open in a small, quiet moan escaping. Then, he’s dragging his cock through my folds and pushing into me slowly. I gasp as my back arches off the bed and he grabs my hips to hold me down. I almost forgot how much I missed this. His hips meet mine and his eyes flutter shut and he groans. I writhe under him, needing more and a whine escapes my throat.
“Please H, need you. Please, please.” I whisper. He leans down, bringing his lips to mine and kisses me slowly, his tongue dancing with mine. I moan into his mouth and he grins as he pulls away from me, resting his forehead on mine.
“No. Wanna go slow, missed this so much. Wanna feel every inch of you.” He mutters, rubbing his nose against mine. His eyes are dark, his pupils blown out. He trails little kisses down my skin, finally moving his hips slowly. I feel every drag of his thick cock against my walls and the sounds that leave my mouth are almost pornographic.
Savoring the moment doesn’t last long. He picks up his pace, his fingers gripping and digging into my hips so hard I’m sure there will be bruises left in their place. Quickly he pulls out of me and flips me over onto my belly. With his hands still on my hips he brings me up to my knees and pushes back into me, quickly pounding into me without remorse making me cry out.
“Oh god, Harry.” I whine and he tangles a hand in my hair, and yanking so my head lifts from the bed.
“Take me so well, baby. The only one who’s ever taken me so well.” He grits through his teeth, the sound of his hips snapping against my ass echoing through the room along with his demanding tone and me moaning his name over and over. I feel the familiar warmth traveling through my belly as he continues hitting the right spot deep inside me.
“I’m gonna cum, please don’t stop.” I beg and his movements become sloppy. The familiarity of this scene gives me deja vu, back to a time when things were simple and all that mattered to us was each other. My brain is fuzzy, and I’m remembering the way he says my name through his gritted teeth and just thinking about it makes me feel euphoric.
“Yeah? Gonna cum for me? Go ahead, cum all over my cock.” He demands. “Shit, Laine.” He growls through his teeth, as if he read my mind and saw my memories and knowing how my name dripping from his tongue gives me exactly what I need to send me over the edge.
“Oh, I’m cumming. Fuck, H.” I gasp, and the warmth blossoms at my center and I’m a moaning, whining mess, my walls fluttering around his cock. He groans and stills, and I feel his warmth inside of me, spurting into me and painting my walls with his cum. His hips stutter before pulling out of me and he sighs heavily as he topples onto the bed beside me.
I roll onto my back, my head lolling to the side and looking at Harry through hooded eyes. His eyes are closed and he’s breathing heavily through his nose, both of us coming down from our highs. And he’s perfect. In every way I remember. My eyes trail down his face to his tattooed chest, the butterfly rising and falling with each breath he’s chasing. The muscles in his arms that flex and relax when he runs his hand down his face…and he’s just so perfect…and I missed him, more than anything…and I still love him, more than anything.
Somewhere in the midst of this, the cloud that hangs over my sense of judgment begins to dissipate and I feel my heart sink to my stomach. Why was I here? The first time I’ve seen him in almost two years and we fucked like it was just a hookup? I was doing so well trying to forget everything about him. But this…this puts me right back at square one.
“I-um…I need…” I stutter, trailing off and scrambling out of his bed. I look around and try to find my underwear and my dress strewn across the room, but it’s dark and I can’t really see well.
“What are you doing?” He sits up, propping on his elbows and watching me with a raised brow.
“I need to go.” I say quietly, bending over and pickup up my underwear, then walking to the other side of the room and looking for my dress.
“Why? You can stay here. This was your place once upon a time, too.” He stands up and pulls his pants back on, walking over to me. I’m frantically looking for my clothes, my heart feeling like it’s beating out of my chest. When I still can’t find it, my breathing picks up rapidly and I’m standing there with my hands in my hair, completely nude, about to have a panic attack.
This is so pathetic.
“Hey, Laine. It’s okay. Take a deep breath.” Harry says quietly, and I feel his hand on my shoulder. I drop my chin to my chest and I bring my hand up to cover my eyes.
“We shouldn’t have done this.” I mutter between my palms, desperately trying to calm my brain.
You’re irrational. Run away from this like you have everything else. You’re so predictable.
“Why?” He asks like he doesn’t know. Like he forgot. I’m clenching my teeth, wincing because I’m already trying to push it out of my head. “Don’t leave. I want you to stay.” He says softly, his hand trailing down to my waist.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” I ask, nervously. He looks at me with a look of confusion, but doesn’t respond.
“Do you know where my dress is?” I ask, throwing up hands up in the air, gesturing around the room. I slip my underwear back on so I feel at least a little bit covered and he walks into his closet. He comes out with just one of his t-shirts and hands it to me. I slip it over my head. “Thanks but I can’t go home without pants on.” I mutter.
“Can we just talk?” He snaps at me, and I look at him and blink, not registering that he was growing impatient with me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did.”
“What is there to talk about, H?” I ask with a small sarcastic laugh. The nickname I always used for him slipping out like it’s an old habit recently rediscovered. I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the wall.
“Us. Please.” He begs and I sigh.
“There is no us. There hasn’t been for a long time.” I shoot back at him.
“Can I just say what I want to say and then you can decide what you want to do. Please just hear me out.” He asks and I hesitate for a second before agreeing. I’m not sure what he’s going to say, and I’m also not sure how I’m going to react. If I leave now, then what he said to me last time would be true. I’d just be running away like I always do. I give him a nod, letting him know that I’ll listen to whatever he has to say, and he steps closer to me.
He grabs my hand and leads me out of the bedroom and to the living room. He sits on one end of the couch and I sit on the other end facing him, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my chin on top of them, chewing on the inside of my lips nervously. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair.
“So…how have you been?” He asks, scratching his head and I furrow my eyebrows together.
“Really? Small talk?” I ask and he scoffs, shaking his head and looking away from me, averting his gaze to look out the large glass windows in front of us that overlook the city. This was always my favorite room. He stands and walks over to them, leaning his shoulder against them.
“I don’t know what to say. I thought I had it all planned out…what I was going to say if I ever got the chance…and now, I just…” he trails off, shaking his head again and sighing. “I never stopped loving you, Laine. Not even when I was being a fuck up, I think I just forgot…and then I got blindsided by the attention I was getting and I screwed up. But that was never an excuse to treat you the way that I did. I never apologized, and I sincerely am so sorry.” He says, glancing over at me. “If you don’t believe me, I understand. I just wanted you to know that I still love you. I think about you every single day.”
“I wanted to know that you loved me back then, too.” I whisper, hurt lacing my tone. “That’s all I ever wanted.” I close my eyes and try to control my breathing before I let my emotions talk for me. “I gave you everything, every piece of me, waiting for you to love me. I don’t have anything left to give. I’ve been trying not to think about the last words you ever said to me every single day for the past 19 months. It keeps me up every night and eats away at my thoughts, knowing that that was the way you thought of me at the end of our relationship, and using things I told you in confidence against me. When it was never me fucking anything up, it was you…and that hurt me. You said I was irrational for wanting to leave after I saw you with another girl pushed up against a wall, kissing all over her neck.” I stated, bringing back the memory of the night I left. He winces.
“I know, Laine. Fuck, I am so sorry. I would do anything to prove to you that I’m just so fucking sorry.” He strides over to where I sit on the couch and drops to his knees in front of me, pulling my hands into his. “At first, I tried to forget you. I couldn’t. You were in my dreams every single night. When I was with anyone else for the past five hundred ninety-seven days, all I ever did was compare them to you. They were never you.” He holds my hands against his chest. “It’s always been you. I am so sorry I didn’t realize that sooner. I should have fixed us instead of letting you leave.” His voice cracks on the last few words and he’s searching my eyes for any indication of my feelings. “When I saw you tonight, I knew. I’ve been begging to any god that was listening for a sign and then, there you were, and I just knew. It’ll always be you. I don’t want it to be anyone else.”
“Harry, I just…” I trail off, both sides of my feelings fighting each other in my brain. On one hand, this is everything I ever wanted him to say to me. On the other hand, I’m unsure if I can trust him, no matter how sincere his words sound. I look at him, here in front of me on his knees, and I feel the tears stinging the corners of my eyes. “All I ever wanted was you, and you betrayed my trust. How can I trust you again?” I ask.
“I’ll do anything.” He answers quickly. “I will work for the rest of my life to prove that you can trust me. I’m not the same person I was then.” He squeezes my hands. “I know my words aren’t enough, but I promise I will prove them to you. I know I was selfish then. I’m not anymore.” He shakes his head, looking into my eyes. I feel a single tear escape down my face, and he lets go of one of my hands to cradle my cheek and wipe it away. “I just want you to come back to me, baby. Please.” He whispers, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles, his eyes closing and taking in a deep breath.
I’m silent for a moment. I know he’s waiting for a response. I know he won’t pressure me if I say no…he’ll let me walk away if I really wanted to, and I think that’s what he’s expecting. The thing is, I don’t want to. I don’t want to run away this time. I’m so tired of running…running from my thoughts, my feelings, from everything. I remember all of the good. Writing with him, playing board games with him, going to events with him, the way he used to stroke my hair in bed every morning, the way he would come up with silly songs to make me feel better when I was having a bad day, the way we would dance in the kitchen while we were making dinner together, the way he always made me laugh and knew the right words to say…and when I think about him, before everything came falling down, all I can think of is the good. Before I can think about it any further I decide to go with my gut.
“Okay.” I whisper. He lifts his head up to look at me, his eyes glistening.
“What?” He looks at me with an expression of disbelief on his face.
“I said okay.” I take my hands from his and grab his face, pulling him closer so I can kiss him. Our lips meet and it’s like everything fell right back into place. After a few seconds, I pull away, touching my forehead to his. “I never want it to be anyone else, either.”
—————
ahhh!! i’m so excited to post this. I think i’m going to write more of their story, like how they met and things leading up to the break up. idk though!!! i hope you enjoy. 🥹 it’s not my best work but i still just love them so much. <3
#harry styles blurb#harry styles x fmc#famous!harry#harry styles#harry styles fic#thisloveleftapermaentmark#taylor swift#this love#harry#styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles au
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Horror novel recommendations
@allthestoriescantbelies asked for horror novel recommendations, so I thought I’d throw one together to post on the blog! Largely focused on non-gothic stuff since I’ve already made a gothic lit list over here.
As a general warning, all horror books listed here will have potentially triggering material. If you want more specific trigger warnings, you can ask me or see if people have listed them on goodreads or storygraph.
My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix: I know you’ve read this, but I’m putting it on the list because it is one of the scariest books I’ve ever read, about a teenage girl in trouble and the only other girl willing to help her. I’m told the movie makes it much more straightforwardly comic rather than horror-with-jokes, which disappoints me. I’m a big fan of Hendrix in general, though I know you (and plenty of others!) find him hit-or-miss.
Red Dragon by Thomas Harris: Another one I believe you’ve read, but for reference, it’s the best serial killer thriller I’ve ever read. Francis Dolarhyde is a much more interesting character than Hannibal Lecter, I will die on this hill.
We Will All Go Down Together by Gemma Files: Centuries ago, the Five Family Coven made a deal with the Fairy Queen, and their descendants have been doomed ever since. I could have just as easily recommended Files’ book Experimental Film- if you like one, read the other as well.
The Drowning Girl by Caitlin R. Kiernan: A schizophrenic woman has two different memories of her ex-girlfriend and the horror that followed her- was she a werewolf, a mermaid, or were both memories wrong? This is Kiernan at her most heartfelt and most accessible; if you like this and want to try her grosser stuff, read The Very Best of Caitlin R. Kiernan.
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski: A haunted house in a haunted film in a haunted memoir, written in a work of visual art. I won’t blame anyone who bounces off this, but give it a try!
Carrie by Stephen King: If you’re only going to read one Stephen King, make it either Carrie or Misery. I don’t feel like any film adaptations have captured all the aspects of this tragedy about a girl who deserved a better life and the town who didn’t save her while there was still a chance, including the epistolary format.
Rolling in the Deep by Mira Grant: This novella was followed up by Into the Drowning Deep, but I found Rolling in the Deep much scarier. It’s brisk and high-tension to watch a semi-fake documentary team put together, piece by piece, just what the monsters are that pursue them.
Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge: The Great Pumpkin, but scary! Seriously, though, if you are willing to accept the concept of a boy with a pumpkin head and a knife and a yearly child sacrifice, this is short and a lot of fun.
The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones: Just an elk killed when some kids were blowing off steam. Just an elk damning the rest of their lives. (Jones’s My Heart is a Chainsaw was too sad for me to recommend as a favorite, but I am curious about the sequel.)
The Wolfen by Whitley Striber: I wanted to include a good werewolf novel on this list, and The Wolfen wins by far for interesting creature design. (The runner up was The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan.)
The Auctioneer by Joan Samson: A very atypical entry on this list, closer to Twin Peaks than your average thriller. A rural town is turned into a capitalist police state when a slick salesman comes to see what they’ll allow him to do. It turns out, it’s a lot.
The Drive-In by Joe R. Lansdale: The only “splatterpunk” I’ve ever loved, this is an absurdist nightmare about a southern drive-in crowd who get stuck in a world with only the movie screens and each other, turning into literal and figurative monsters. Usually published with the sequel, since both are short, though I didn’t like the latter as much. If you like it, read one of Lansdale’s short story collections.
As always, reblog with suggestions of your own!
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hi i have been obsessed with your “the monster’s body is a cultural body etc” post since i saw it like a month ago. do you have any book recs where i can read more about this, like, forever. (I’m aware of your podcast I’m checking it out too) <3
i'm glad you liked it, it's an honor to introduce the people of tumblr to cohen's seven theses
first and foremost i would recommend The Monster Theory Reader, ed. Jeffrey Andrew Weinstock, which includes several seminal essays including:
"The Uncanny" by Sigmund Freud
"The Uncanny Valley" by Masahiro Mori
"Approaching Abjection" by Julia Kristeva
"Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine: An Imaginary Abjection" by Barbara Creed
"The Monster and the Homosexual" by Harry M. Benshoff
i would also recommend the book in which Cohen first published his seven theses, Monster Theory: Reading Culture, ed. Jeffrey Jerome Cohen
(i must admit that i haven't gotten around to reading either of these books in full yet)
aside from the essays mentioned above, here are some foundational texts for monster theory but not specifically about monster theory:
The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim
Mythography: The Study of Myths and Rituals by William Doty
Vested Interests: Cross-Dressing and Cultural Anxiety by Marjorie Garber
monster theory/horror criticism texts i've read:
Monsters in the Closet by Harry M. Benshoff
Skin Shows by Jack Halberstam
Murder Most Queer by Jordan Schildcrout
It Came from the Closet, ed. Joe Vallese
Horror by Brigid Cherry
Men, Women, and Chain Saws by Carol Clover
Dark Places by Barry Curtis
The Dread of Difference, ed. Barry Keith Grant
The Monster Show by David J. Skal (SEE NOTE BELOW)
Darkly: Black History and America's Gothic Soul by Leila Taylor
The Ghost: A Cultural History by Susan Owens
and some others i own but haven't read yet:
Dark Carnivals by W. Scott Poole
Phantom Past, Indigenous Presence: Native Ghosts in North American Culture and History by Colleen E. Boyd and Coll Thrush
Queer for Fear: Horror Film and the Queer Spectator by Heather O. Petrocelli
Pretend We're Dead: Capitalist Monsters in American Pop Culture by Annalee Newitz (just started this, already love it)
Theatre and the Macabre, ed. Meredith Conti and Kevin J. Wetmore, Jr.
and i can't neglect to mention The Monster in Theatre History: This Thing of Darkness by Michael Chemers
before i say anything further i want to give one warning. my particular interest is on monstrosity and queerness (probably evident based on some of my recommendations). monster theory and horror criticism have generally been rooted in psychoanalytic theory, particularly as it has been interpreted through a feminist lens. unfortunately, this leads to a lot of arguments and interpretations that are sex essentialist and fail to address gender with the necessary nuance. this is particularly true in Men, Women, and Chain Saws and The Dread of Difference.
(Vested Interests is… complicated. it's not monster theory exactly but cohen cites it. garber is generally better than the others mentioned here in her consideration of trans people but her work can still be uncomfortable.)
i have a lot of reservations about recommending The Monster Show. i loved reading it and i think skal has great analysis. somehow, however, in the middle of his discussion of how marginalized people have been historically monsterized in american culture, he has the audacity to cite The Transsexual Empire by Janice Raymond, the ur-text of TERF ideology, and skal uses this text to monsterize trans women. it's disgusting and reprehensible, and if the rest of the book wasn't so strong i wouldn't recommend it
the best medicine i have are texts by trans people. It Came from the Closet is an anthology with several essays by trans people, i adore it. i am forever obsessed with Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, which isn't exactly monster theory, but i would say it's monster theory adjacent and i wish everyone would read it
and if you haven't, you must read "My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage" by Susan Stryker. (see i even put a link to that one. drop everything and read it now)
alright if you're still with me i have a couple other things to put out there:
the docuseries Queer for Fear, available on Shudder, is incredible and i'm obsessed with it
she seems to be inactive these days but @draculasdaughter has a lot of posts quoting texts and articles on monster theory/horror criticism that i highly recommend
i've only seen the jacob geller videos on this list but i mean to watch this youtube playlist of video essays about horror, fear, and dread
and i also keep a #monster theory tag on my blog that has various posts on the subject, some funny and some earnest
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My Live Heartstopper 2 Reactions
Right so this is an EXTREMELY long post and I know nobody cares but it helped me get all my emotions out in a healthy way instead of punching walls so that’s a plus 👍🏻. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS, so be warned, aight? Some of my reactions are genuinely funny—wish I had filmed myself because oh boy.
(TW: Eating disorders and homophobia. Also: Chaos, spoilers, and unhealthy fangirling).
Episode 1
Oh my god I’m literally more nervous for this than I was for my tattoo I’m gonna cry
HI ❤️
Charlie you better eat that cereal why are you just holding it.
The soundtrack is already banging holy balls.
THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE OH MY GOSH.
AGGRESSIVE KISSING OH MY GOD THAT WAS CRAZY THE PASSION I—
They’re so happy. I’m so happy they’re happy. And the smile every time they greet each other. And they’re BESTIES which is SO REAL.
THE UPSIDE-DOWN KISS SHOT WAS MAGICAL—
Ooh I missed the little sparkles of Heartstopper
Need this tattooed on my body fr.
Elle is gorgeous. Elle is gorgeous. Elle is gorgeous and I love her. She’s gorgeous. Oh my gosh my sapphic heart wants her so bad.
That was weird. Oop—that product placement is as a tiny bit goofy? Was the product placement? I’ve only read one book.
No she fancies Ben—I already can see it coming. No NO NO NO NO IMOGEN NO.
Oh I can feel the stress. I have to look up what this test is I guess because I can FEEL the stress—NEVERMIND I KNOW WHAT THE STRESS IS—
This is an incredible scene. Oh my FUCKING god.
This teacher is really doing the most for no reason.
I NEED YOU.
Of course Harry’s out here saying some slightly misogynistic shit out the gate.
Elle and Tao will be magical together I already know.
YES OH MY GOD THEY GET DOODLES TOO?????? YESSSSSSS.
Bro is this product placement or is it in the comics. It must be in the comics and I just don’t know about it lmao. Because otherwise this product placement is WILD.
UH OH NO UH OH STOP PLEASE I CAN’T—alright it’s fine. Everything’s fine. Deep breaths. Whew all good.
As a partially-closeted gay person that was a lot for me.
I love Tori and her actress so much (is actress still a real term??? I feel like it’s not).
This is cute huh.
I love Imogen. I love Imogen. She’s so cute.
SHE’S AN ALLY IM PISSING—
God Elle is gorgeous in every scene.
Tao’s hair isn’t even bad idk what everybody was saying in the first season it’s goofy but it’s not the worst haircut in the world.
THAT WAS SO INTENSE. THEY HAVE CRAZY CHEMISTRY WHAT????!?????
Isaac always reading is such a vibe he just likes to be in the room with everyone and it’s so me.
You got this Nick. I love you and I believe in you.
Woah Tao. Simmer down babe.
YOU GOT THIS! YOU GOT IT! They are so supportive it’s so wonderful this is so sweet fuck me.
THAT WAS SO GOOD.
“I’m sorry I don’t actually know how to react,” IS A PERFECT REACTION FUCK.
Oh balls I KNEW IT.
They’re girls together. I love watching girlhood between queer people. This show is everything.
Hands ✨
I wish I had this many friends.
HI LEAVES HOW ARE YOU—AHHHHHHHH KISSES YES. This is kind of a lot for being in front of everyone.
Darcy is so real.
Not the hanky panky.
BRING ON THE BROTHER. This is the bullshit fuckery im excited for I want nick to DESTROY HIS HOMOPHOBIC BROTHER. Verbally, of course.
Episode 2
Why is everyone struggling? I kind of hate this trope so much my grades did not slip when I got in a secret homosexual relationship I was literally valedictorian I promise it’s not that distracting.
Bros being so mean wtf.
Woah I have never seen Charlie looking so much like Joe.
Mum’s sassy woah.
DAVID. BRING ON THE BROTHER. FIST FIIIIIIIGHT.
Sorry I’m just excited.
Kit Connor is so pretty.
I FORGOT CHARLIE’S A DRUMMER THAT’S SO RANDOM AND COOL.
Not the WHAT with the blank expression.
Wait that is so cute #meandmygf when both our parents are psycho conservatives #starcrossedlovers
❤️
Ben and Imogen is such a fucking no I feel sick. I am literally sick.
I know all these extras are so freaking excited to be here—I love them all.
Who tf says ‘eve’ in a text?
Ben’s weird ass look lmao.
This is goofy and I love it. Fuck off Ben stop with that state.
Dude Mr. Farouk needs to chill so hard.
SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN. GET HIM NICK. SICK EM. EAT SHIT.
Broooo why would you put them in a room together are you frickin serious?????
NICK YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE HIM I hate Ben so much I what a perfect perfect perfect gray-area villain
David what are you even talking about rn.
God they are good together are you kidding? They casted so perfectly I’ve never been more in love with a couple in my life. They are phenomenal actors because idk how they could be like this and not be in love.
The SOUNDTRACK ARE YOU KIDDING
“I think Nellie loves him” NO YOU
The queer extras are my favorite in the whole world.
NON-BINARY PERSON oh my god hi me too
God she’s perfect here. To be fair she’s just generally perfect. THE THREE OF THEM ARE PERFECT.
What a lovely conversation for this show to have, so simple and so chill and so real.
Oh Tao. I love you I wish I could give you a hug, poor dude.
If Ben fucks up Nick’s math exam istg—
Oh Imogen—I’m so sorry sweetheart.
Oh shit fuck this feels like such unnecessary stress I hate hate hate hate hate this—NO BRO RAISE YOUR HAND AND TELL HER—
Bro if he’s in trouble I’m gonna lose it I will literally be so sad.
Elle is stunning.
Elle he likes you oh my god ELLE HE LIKES YOU.
Gosh she’s tall too I love tall women.
Bro what marvel movie were they watching ????? Hello ????? Also—David is still here isn’t he?
NELLIE IS PERFECT.
No no no no no no no no no bro I’m gonna be physically ill.
PUNCH THAT MF IN THE FACE holy FUCK.
Oh my god this is so sad, but also definitely the conflict I’m here for and not this schoolwork shit. I hate schoolwork conflicts.
It’s not your fault Charlie I’m so sorry.
God Mom he needs you right now are you serious?????
We all know damn well you did not eat at Nick’s.
To be so fair this is exactly what happened to me and my gf when we started telling people it just became a mess.
Oh god the voice memo was perfect Nick. That was such a perfect way to get your sincerity across. Wow I LOVE that.
CUT YOUR HAIR OUT OF JEALOUSY TAO !!!
That’s half a joke.
But I would do it (I’m crazy and petty).
Cantonese is very soft or maybe it was just the way she said it but my ears liked it.
I deadass thought she was gonna be right behind him lmao.
Episode 3
IKEA??????? Boy.
Aw nice boys. Thank you.
The way Otis just looked back like bro are you serious—
Damn it he almost had it shit.
Charlie and Joe are ebbing and flowing and I love that he’s like 15-dimensional it’s so nice and natural I love Joe he is so talented.
YAY SHE IS SO NICE ARE YOU SERIOUS???? SHE HAS A WIFE. My girlfriend did women’s rugby gayest sport in the world. I literally just jumped up and down this show is so good fuck.
HER LITTLE GIGGLE SDFGHJKL
Tao not on the school computer wtf.
I’m like actually stressed about Charlie’s paper and Nick’s math I remember being stressed and fucked up by these things and I do not like the coursework issues as pieces of plot it really gets me—not to say it’s the show’s fault. I think that’s just because school killed me.
Oh Tara and Darcy.
I am in fear. I am currently in very much fear.
Ben looks like such an ass fr.
DARCY’S SARCASM IM PISSING—
HE IS SO SWEET ABSOLUTELY SO SWEET. HOLY PISS AND SHIT THIS IS PERFECT. AND HIS HAAAAAAIR. OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.
THAT WAS ADORABLE.
They are very good together.
The 1975???? Slay?????
I LOVE TORI. IM PISSING.
“Look after him. Or you die.”
The most unrealistic thing about this show is that people don’t know they’re together when they’re always standing so fucking close together and glancing at each others’ mouths.
Now why is that popcorn so big.
Bro Elle looks perfect all the time I would also be awkwardly silent next to her.
Oh Tara.
Joe and Nick look SO GOOD in these outfits.
Elle definitely put her hand there on purpose so he’d grab it.
BRO WHAT IS GOING ON THIS IS PAINFUL.
I take it back Nick should’ve been wearing different pants.
Oh no this is literally my nightmare.
Bro Harry putting his arm around Nick like nothing’s wrong and the panic that must be flooding through Nick’s veins is so FUCKING REAL I have been in situations so similar to this and if he comes out now I will never forgive Alice because this is a horrific time for this.
I am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the studio today.
Oh Tao I love you I’m so sorry. God he is so me. God what a nice hug. I feel so bad for him. Holy fuck.
And CHARLIE god this is my nightmare.
Oh Nick too.
EVERYONE IS SAD AND I AM SAD.
Oh baby oh my god.
Charlie is a literal angel AND SO IS NICK’S MOM.
YOU DON’T OWE THEM ANYTHING. THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING MESSAGE.
Oh Charlie my heart aches for you.
Episode 4
Charlie why wouldn’t you sit next to each other???? Charlie???? What is this madness?????
Tao’s hair is slaying.
Mr. Farouk is crazy.
Paris is gonna fix everything I see.
Okay Nick and Tao getting together makes my heart absolutely so full.
NICK’S DAD IS FRENCH??????? Bro I need to read these don’t I?
Aw Mr. Farouk’s little smile.
Darcy is fantastic at changing the subject I wish I had the skill.
Bro Ben’s whole role this season is glaring I’m pissing myself giggling about it.
Bro read the ROOM of COURSE they wanted to share.
Um why is their room so tiny????
Even their hands look perfect together god DAMN.
WAIT Tao that was so fucking sweet.
NO THIS IS THE HICKEY SCENE. THIS IS THE HICKEY SCENE. OH MY GOD IS THIS THE HICKEY SCENE?
Incredible like delivery Kizzy FUCK I loved that.
Also it was not the hickey scene.
Ben looks so unenthused with Imogen at all times and I’m pissed about it.
Jesus that was rude Ben. Fuck you.
This is so weird but I wanna know what order they shot these scenes in bc the whole bus scene Farouk kept being all smiley towards Ajayi but now he’s like super unimpressed with him and it’s not tracking but honestly that’s kind of sweet and almost like foreshadowing I love it.
Tao. Looks. So. Good.
ELLE’S BOOTS ARE FIRE ARE YOU SERIOUS?????
Charlie just grab his hand there’s literally no one around.
NICK BEING FLUENT IN FRENCH IS SO GOOD AND IMPRESSIVE DOES CHARLIE KNOW?????
Also Kit Connor speaking French is just ahhhhhh
TARA’S A DANCER??? ME TOO. ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO.
Darcy is so my girlfriend. Don’t worry Tara she’ll come around I promise. My girlfriend didn’t say I love you back to me for months babe. It’s just hard for some people.
Charlie…
God Paris is beautiful.
Straight people are so goofy thinking relationships mean you stop being friends.
BRO THIS SONG GOES CRAZY????
Okay the yelling was so funny.
They’re perfect together for real.
The BUTTERFLIES???? THE BUTTERFLIES????
I actually love Imogen so much. Ben needs to get his greasy hands off her fr.
Darcy’s non-binary shirt is everything. Thank you Heartstopper, thank you Kizzy.
WHY IS CHARLIE BY BEN???? WHO ALLOWED THIS?????
NO. NO NO NO. NO.
Okay. Deadass, I wish I had recorded myself—The whole conversation just went down, and I sat there with my hand shaking around my face, and when HARRY went “There’s no reason to call her a bitch” I fucking LOST MY MIND because you know it’s bad when HARRY SAYS SOMETHING OBJECTIVELY CORRECT. I deadass SCREAMED.
Oh Imogen so wrong but also so cute about it anyway.
Tao and Nick talking makes my heart so happy I want them to be besties.
This is so sweet. Fuck.
Is Nick’s dad a factor here? Because I’m stressed.
I love when my gf hugs me like that.
“Giant Rugby idiot”
Wait this is wild oh my god?????
Real talk—when my gf gets that close to me and is kissing my neck I do not silently stare at the ceiling but I get it we’re innocent and sweet in this house.
Bro the hickey reveal is SO GOOD.
Episode 5
Oh his dad is ghosting him fuck.
Soundtrack going off again
Also unrealistic—giving a hickey without knowing how? You have to suck SO HARD bro—
I’m fully laughing my ass off.
TAO’S EYES I—
I just screamed “OH MY GOD THIS SHOT IS INCREDIBLE THIS IS ART” at the top of my lungs and the neighbors definitely heard but BLURRY BEN SITTING IN BETWEEN MATCHING NICK AND CHARLIE WHEN HE LEARNS ABOUT THE HICKY???? 10/10 cinema. Give it an Oscar right now.
That’s the biggest croissant I have ever seen.
BEN BLURRY IN THE BACKGROUND OF THESE SHOTS IS JUST SO—
Joe Locke is gorgeous I can’t. He’s like literally a sculpture.
SHUT UP HARRY.
Oh my fucking god.
“I don’t give a rats ass rudeboy, grow up” is the single greatest like in all of Heartstopper and I will tattoo it on my body.
What is Nick’s outfit? Why do they keep giving him ridiculous pants?
Tao and Elle are a fucking gorgeous couple.
GO OFF ISAAC. GO OFF.
Kizzy and Corinna are just ah just god just I want them both just AH.
THAT FRAME OF BEN AND NICK IS FUNNIER THAN THE ONE THAT WENT VIRAL.
I hate Ben. I am going to cry.
I’m scared Charlie’s going to pass out. Imagine he just falls off the tower lmao what a twist one of them literally dies 😭😭
HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! Good job Isaac.
Okay he JUST called are you serious?
Tao’s fits are fucking fire bro.
SO ARE YOU CHARLIE. SO ARE YOU.
Doing a friend lock instead of a boyfriend one is so real.
I’m really freaked about the end of the season. I feel like I know the storm that’s coming and I don’t know if I can take it.
Nick being able to talk to anyone about everything is the best trope of this entire show. He is truly a saint (Santa Claus type beat lmfao)
No Charlie eat please. I’m begging you. You deserve love and food. I love him. I love this show.
Kizzy is so handsome.
Things are falling apart. I am falling apart. This is bad. This is real bad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY ELLE AND TAO WHEN I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING ELSEWHERE???????
Yeah okay I’m enjoying it I LOVE THEM!!!!
THE BUTTERFLIES.
Beautiful artist couple.
I wanna understand. He wants. To. Understand. MY PARENTS DIDN’T EVEN— AHHHAGDJAHANDHEJAB he’s a saint.
Nick is about to make me uncontrollably sob.
He was so close to I love you fr.
I hate Nick’s outfit so much.
Charlie finding out he speaks French has me KICKING MY FUCKING FEET AND GIGGLING.
Gets in trouble, “Run!” *runs towards the person getting them in trouble*
They look so genuinely perfect together it’s insane. The casting for this shit is fucking crazy.
Goated soundtrack.
Why does Nick have to be dressed like this though like I get it but I completely do not get it.
I’m uncomfy.
Oh god. He doesn’t know me. This is getting way, WAY to real now.
I just belly laughed at Tao sheepishly shuffling out of the bathroom and going, “I have something to share.”
Okay this is adorable I wish I had friends in high school (or ever)
WAIT OH MY GOD—I was upset they got busted by I AM NOT EVEN REMOTELY UPSET ANYMORE.
This is fucking perfect.
This show does not fail to save me. It saved me with the first season and it’s saving me a second time now.
Isaac in the bookstore is so me.
Oh yes YES YES YES!
The pride street. I’m fucking sobbing.
The hand shot?!?!? THE HAND SHOT?!?!
I really need Tara and Darcy to talk.
Oh no this is not what I want I really do not want this I really don’t like that there is alc here in this situation.
Ben is here??? What???
Everyone and their brother has a crush on Charlie and like I totally get it but also he is so OBLIVIOUS.
LUCY DACUS???? FUUUUUUUUUUCK.
Also the ace/aro representation is so good I fuckin love you Isaac.
“No.”
Okay let me be so real, Harry is an ass but Ben assaulted Charlie and he gets to be here???? Like not that I want Harry to be around either but????? Like?????
WHO INVITED BEN?!?!?
TAO’S SCARY ASS CRAWL I CAN’T—
YES. YES NICK. FUCK IM CRASHING.
Darcy why tho.
They are such good actors it’s so hard to remember they aren’t actually in love.
Not to be delulu but they are so Merlin/Arthur core.
I thought they were about to have an “oh shit I’m about to get turned on” moment but it didn’t go that way.
ONE BED TROPE. YASSSSSS. YASSSS. GAY TEACHERS. YASSSS.
WHAT IS THAT MELODYYYY??????
They sleep like me and my gf do, always switching positions. Got that’s so real. I’m fucking obsessed.
Peach comforter cute as hell.
Good song. Heard it on the soundtrack before.
Holy BALLS JOE LOCKE IS BEAUTIFUL.
YES ELLE! YES ELLE!
TAO PICKING UP HIS MOTHER SUPREMACY
“My summer is for sleeping.” Tori is me.
Ben. Actually piss off. There will be no accidental adultery in this show. I’m manifesting.
Oh Darcy. The purple clouds are amazing detail but Oh Darcy.
Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.
Tell him.
Tell him.
You promised. Tell him.
CONAN GRAY? IN MY CITY?
PHYSICALLY GASPED AT ELLE.
Yes. Yes Isaac yes. Fuck. I love you Isaac. YOU ARE FREE FROM EVERYONE ELSE’S PICTURE OF LIFE. YOU’RE AMAZING. FUCK.
MORE CONAN?
Yes Tao. He’s fucking supportive. I can see it in his face.
THE PAINTING???? THE ART ROOM?????
TAO THAt IS SO FUCKING MATURE.
My parents will never accept me either but I’m not a goddamn predator asshole.
This is fucking RAW. Oh my GOD. God, Charlie that was fucking powerful and perfect. Me too. I feel it. I felt you. AND HE STEPPED AWAY FROM THE RAINBOW HE COULD HAVE GONE IN AND SEEN.
FUCK.
Fuck you David. I already know you’re about to do some DUMB SHIT.
Bro did they not warn Charlie’s parents?????
GO OFF TORI.
Oh my god GO OFF NICK???? GO OFF???? HOLY FUCK????
He’s not a very good dad, is he?
I like Nick’s pink shirt.
I love Tori so fucking much. Oh my GOD.
Your brother’s a prick.
Oh Nick. Oh NICK. Oh Nick.
Darcy, baby. Fuck.
(Good ass soundtrack tho)
Episode 8
I’m so stressed about Charlie. Please no storm.
Okay this time the soundtrack jumped in a little too strong????
SWITCH! SWITCH!
NICK’S OUTFIT IS FIRE (it’s just the jumper but still)
ALLY! ALLY! (Except they’re both gay lmfao)
WINGWOMAN! That’s the word.
Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.
Fuck. I’m gonna sob.
YES THEY’RE CONNECTING.
Me neither.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Noooo Charlie nooooo it’s not gonna be like that. Charlie I’m so sorry. Fuck fuck fuck.
FOLKLORE POSTER??? YES??
GOD ELLE IS GORGEOUS. AND I LOVE HER PARENTS.
CHARLIE LOOKS FANTASTIC WTFFFFFFF.
Isaac with the book I love it.
God Seven’s gonna play about Darcy. Seven’s gonna fucking play about Darcy.
MLM WLW SOLIDARITY
YASSSS GET IT QUEEN!!!!
I FUCKING LOVE TAO’S LITTLE HEARTS?????
AND ELLE HAS THEM OHHHHH MY GOD.
lmao Tori.
Harry 🫠🫠🫠🫠
YES GAY TEACHERS.
Imogen is literally gay lmfao.
YAS ISAAC GOT LEAVES FUCK YES FUCK YES I’m sobbing I love queer joy I’m gonna fall apart
The way VERY OBVIOUSLY QUEER extras are the ones gossiping and stressing Charlie out 😭😭😭
No. No. No.
Fuck that woman so hard oh my god.
TINY NICK.
Me too Darcy. I love you. THEY ARE PERFECT. THEY ARE PERFECT. They are me 😭😭 this is so personal to me.
SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN! ITS SO SAPPHIC! ITS SO THEM!
These people have got to know they are making something so FUCKING special for queer people. This is my next tattoo for sure.
Queer joy.
THEY LOOK MARRIED!!! THEY LOOK MARRIED!!!!?
THIS IS SO DOMESTIC.
Please talk to him.
Do not fight right now I swear to god.
You don’t have to be perfect with me.
Oh Charlie oh my god. Nick’s fuckiNG TEARS—I just.
This scene. Is. Perfect. Fuck.
THE WHISPERING. THE FUCKING WHISPERING. THE BROKEN ASS WHISPERING.
FOREHEAD KISSES????? IN THIS ECONOMY??????
That blue looks GOOD on him.
The storm was a light rain that spilled the rivers over, but it was fun to walk in and the mud made nice pies, and everything was alright, because they made them together.
this SONG????????
BANGING MY HEAD AGAINSST A WALL.
In conclusion, I will be getting a heartstopper tattoo at my nearest convenience. I’ll be sure to post it.
Also, here’s a cookie for lasting this long 🍪
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Tumblr Wrapped @peterparkersnose
This account was launched January 8th, 2022 (Exactly one year ago) and I just wanted to share some stats because I love statistics and to see progress and growth.
I have 1,803 followers
I have 85 published works
I have 8 different fan groups I wrote for
I have 18 characters I wrote for
Marvel Word Count was 36,982 words
DC Word Count was 8,400 words
Star Wars Word Count was 26,324 words
Stranger Things Word Count was 11,957 words
Top Gun Maverick Word Count was 5,148 words
Klitz (The Girl Next Door) Word Count was 6,500 words
Javier Peña (Narcos) Word Count was 4,500 words
Joel Miller (The Last of Us) Word Count was 1,300 words
101,111 words in total.
Average of 1.1k words per posting.
There are about 70,000 to 120,000 words roughly in any usual book. Landing right in the middle of that statistic warms my heart.
A special thank you to my consistent tag list (love you guys) for their continued support of me over the last year.
{ @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean }
I know I’m not the best writer out there, I’ve read MANY fics this year that beat out mine by a long shot (check some of them out here). Thank you to all my readers, I’m glad you enjoyed my work. To another successful year, hopes for 2023!
I have a ton of Joel Miller fics queued for The Last of Us Show (Airing 1/15 on HBO Max).
My Favorites of the Year
Movie: The Batman (2022)
Album: Harry’s House (Harry Styles)
Dilf: Pedro Pascal
Character to write for: Din Djarin
Fan base (everyone is so lovely, it was so hard to choose): Druig/Eternals/Barry Keoghan
Fan Base to write for: Star Wars
Series I wrote: Pink Bra Strap- Klitz (Paul Dano)
Video Game: The Last of Us 1 (again)
Least Favorite Character I wrote for: Eddie Munson (sorry tik tok ruined it)
Show: Game of Thrones
Favorite Genre: Angst
Least Favorite Genre: Smut (I can enjoy on occasion but I like a good argument vs good sex)
Top Three Stories I Wrote
Secret (Din Djarin)
Body Lightweight (Kylo Ren)
Unreleased Obi Wan fic (sorry not sorry)
Dilf of the Month 2022:
December 2021- Adam Driver
January 2022- Andrew Garfield
February 2022- Barry Keoghan
March 2022- Pedro Pascal
April 2022- Paul Dano
May 2022- Oscar Isaac
June 2022- Eddie Munson/ Joe Quinn
July 2022- Matthew Gray Gubler
August 2022- David Harbor
September 2022- Rooster Top Gun/Miles Teller
October 2022- Evan Peters
Nov 2022- Hayden Christansen
Dec 2022- Ewan McGregor/Obi Wan Kenobi
Jan 2023- Bob Odenkirk/ Saul Goodman
Top Five Era’s of this year
Pedro Pascal Era (March-Now)
Bagel Era 🥯 (March-May)
Miles Teller Era (June-October)
Party Monster The Weeknd Era (October-Now)
Fletcher Meme Era (August-October)
(This is not a brag post in any way shape or form. I am extremely proud of myself. I worked hard for what I have. I have attention issues and I expected to drop this account when I got bored so I’m thrilled I committed to it. I am very appreciative of every single one of you.)
Thank you all.
Love,
@peterparkersnose
#peterparkersnose#pedro pascal#peter parker#andrew garfield#barry keoghan#din djarin#tom holland#eddie munson#paul dano#star wars#adam driver#oscar isaac#joseph quinn#matthew gray gubler#david harbor#miles teller#evan peters#hayden christensen
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2023 Reading Challenge. Audiobook: The X Files: Cold Cases by Joe Harris, Chris Carter and Dirk Maggs
You guys all know I love The X Files, you just have to scroll on my blog for less than a minute and you’ll see something there. I’m also an occasional enjoy-er of radio dramas, so I thought this would be the perfect pick for me for the audiobook category of my reading challenge.
This is not an audiobook in the traditional sense, but a dramatization, which features many of the actors from the classic series, including Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny, returning as Mulder and Scully. One pretty fun aspect of this production is that it acts as something of a revival to the original series, but follows a different canon to the actual TV revival, despite having been released AFTER season 10. This is because this audio drama is actually an adaptation of The X Files Season 10 comic book (don’t be confused by the fact that they have the same name, they are different).
If you haven’t watched The X Files, be aware that I am going to be talking about some of the events of the series in this review, so if you don’t want spoilers, proceed with caution.
The X Files: Cold Cases picks up after the events of the series (I’m not entirely sure where The X Files: I Want to Believe fits into the canon of this comic book, but to be honest, I try not to think about that film very much, so…), Mulder and Scully are living in Virginia under aliases, and are roped back into the X Files, after an unknown person hacks into the FBI databases, looking for information about the X Files in particular.
The story, or rather stories, are pretty fun, we get a mix of myth arc and monster of the week segments (I personally would have preferred more monster of the week segments, but that’s a gripe that I have with the series just in general), some deceased characters, like CSM and Alex Krycek return in ways that are actually quite clever, and much better than the way CSM returned in the TV revival, and we get to see the return of the classic Flukeman. The stories aren’t great, they wouldn’t rank as high as some of the best episodes of the original series, but they’re good, for the most part.
One thing though that was kind of frustrating for me is how they didn’t use the audio format to their advantage. The X Files has the potential to use audio drama in a really interesting way, and I’ll use two well known examples of other audio drama productions to illustrate this: the popular podcast Welcome to Night Vale and the absolutely iconic, classic 1938 radio drama of The War of the Worlds, narrated by the late, great Orson Welles. Both of these use audio and narration in incredibly fascinating and clever ways, with Welcome to Night Vale being presented as a local radio show in the fictional town of Night Vale, a desert town somewhere in the southwestern United States. The host, Cecil, remarks on local goings-on, including bizarre paranormal and supernatural events, which he treats as mundane. The War of the Worlds does something similar, beginning as a simulation of a normal radio program, featuring a weather report and music, before breaking news interruptions regarding an alien invasion interrupt the broadcast. I think that The X Files could have done something similar, almost like the season 7 episode X-Cops, which used the format of a normal episode of the reality show Cops to tell a story about a werewolf (which, incidentally, is one of my favourite episodes). In my opinion, The X Files shines the most when it’s being experimental, and here they play it extremely safe, not to mention that some of the dialogue just feels very unnatural, as the characters are having to over explain their actions to make up for the lack of visuals, which is a shame.
Overall, it’s worth a listen, if you’re a fan of the show and want more X Files content, but it’s not as good as X Files can be.
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THE BOOK OF NOBODY
Oftentimes, in fact, too often it seems, the mass media makes a splash about Somebody – from the photogenic rich, like Tesla/Twitter’s Elon Musk to the Ambani brothers of India. From the famous too, like Hannah Montana, oops, I mean the beautiful and talented Miley Cyrus to the controversially-independent Prince Harry. Countless essays and books are written and published about these personalities, in various industries stretching from sports, entertainment, business and politics. The reader is really spoilt for choice or to put it another way, we are pummeled with this unceasing artillery barrage of (inane?) news reports about the rich and famous. it’s no doubt gratifying to read of these personalities and their goings-on.
Now, what if the media pays more attention to the nobodies also? Say perhaps about our average Joe or Ah Soon or Wati or Raj? Oh wait. The media does that already, when said person is arrested/convicted for an alleged crime, or worse, he/she is reported to be involved in an unfortunate mishap. I guess that’s how much real interest the media has in us, the ordinary folks. We make the news only as a sidebar and generally not about something we welcome. But hey! That’s life. The rich and famous get into the news for all the right reasons while we, for the wrong ones. Ok. I admit the rich and famous have something which we are informed time and again, we do not have. It is some, you know, government’s favourite word – talent. And this coming from folks who have been on state welfare/public purse most of their adult lives. And yet, we the ordinaries are informed by them, daily it seems, to upskill, as if we like totally lack talent. Gee. And why can’t we have high paying welfare jobs instead like theirs?
Let’s get back to the rich, talented and famous shall we? What if the media really does its job? Report news, neither manufactured nor embellished in the newsroom. What this means is the ordinaries like us will get an even chance to make our life’s story known to the public. I think in the West, they are calling this equity? Now I don’t want to take anything away from Miley Cyrus or Kanye or Ye or whatever he calls himself now, I seem to have lost track. They do have enormous talent and chutzpah in their own, individualized way. And admittedly, I am also very partial, especially to Miley and her latest hit song, Flowers, which I think is just so enjoyable to listen to. But let’s face it folks – the guy helping to construct our new HDB apartments has an interesting story to tell too. He likely came over here to work under very trying circumstances. Village life in India, Bangladesh or China is not quite self-sustaining. Jobs are few and far in-between and mostly slave wages. So he borrows from the village money lender, at exorbitant rates no doubt, to fulfil a pressing need – to earn a decent wage. Turns out he ends up in Singapore as a construction specialist, on a not-so-decent wage. But what choice has he got? He can’t change jobs midway as he’s on a contract and besides, he has to keep paying that interest and principal on the loan he took. In the meantime, he continues to repatriate what he can from his meagre salary to his growing family back home. Does he miss and pine for them? You betcha! Does our Filipino/Indonesian/Myanmar/Indian domestic helper have similar circumstances? Ditto! And yet, the media doesn’t want to talk about them or the ordinaries. They prefer us to read about people in glass towers rather than about folks whom we can really relate to, like the ones in dormitories or about aunties and uncles cleaning our parks and public toilets. These souls have a story to tell too. It may not be a bestseller like a Hillary Clinton or Prince Harry’s autobio, but hey, that does not mean it isn’t captivating. Theirs is a gargantuan human story! And what’s more, these folks are not on the public purse or permanent welfare! How do they do it? Isn’t it time we found out….in the news? I look forward to reading The Book of Nobody, if and when it is published.
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According to the urban dictionary,
“Average Joe” refers to someone who is just like everyone else. aka; a normal person.
Average' means 'in the middle' or 'not extreme', and 'Joe' is a common male name. So 'average Joe' refers to a man who is not extremely different from everyone else.
Getting to know An average Joe from head to toe.🤯👉🦶
I have been spending hours, thinking about how could I introduce my true self to all of you, my beloved readers. As I’m just an average Joe, there are not many things interesting about me. Therefore, I think it might be fun to introduce myself from head to toe (literally) so that you could know what I like to do using each part of my body. 😄
Head 💀
To talk about my head, I would talk about the thing that I’m interested in. Currently, I am interested in a concept called “Budgetarian”. A budgetarian is a person who lives on a budget and choose to spend his money only on things that are the most important. This idea came up to my mind because I do not believe that I would become rich in the near future. Therefore, I only have one choice which is to be as frugal as I can to prepare myself for my life in the future🤣. I found it quite fun to put a challenge such as “spending only 700 baths for a week” on myself to control my spending. I feel good to challenge myself and save my money at the same time. However, I have never completed my challenges 🥲.
Eyes 👀
Talking about my eyes, what I like to do using them is reading books. Surprisingly, I prefer reading books over watching movies or tv series. I think it allows me to use my own imagination and relates myself to the characters and incidents within the books. I think I enjoy them much better that way. My favorite genres are comedy, rom-com, and fantasy. Namely, Harry Potter, The diary of a wimpy kid, and red, white, and royal blue.
Mouth 👄
Coming to the mouth, I would talk about what I like to eat. Thai food is my all-time favorite growing up. I love spicy and sour tastes often found in our food recipes. Therefore, my all-time top 3 would be papaya salad, Tom yum kung, and Mackerel Lettuce Wrap ( Miang Pla Too). I also enjoy watching the food cooking YouTube channel. My favorite one is Pailin’s kitchen. I’m putting the link right here 👇
Hand 👏
lately, I have been using my hands to express myself because I’m taking a sign language course. It’s a totally new experience for me. I have never imagined that we could use our hands to communicate with others (successfully). By attending this class, l am not only getting to know how deaf people communicate, but I also realize the challenges and obstacles they have to face being in the silent world and I do hope I could do something to make their lives better and easier in the future. ( sign language interpreter for every tv program would be a great idea)
Feet and toe 🦶
What I like to do using my feet and toe is traveling. I think it is a dream for everyone to be able to travel wherever we want to. From my own experience, I have been to 4 countries in total, Malaysia, Singapore, Argentina, and Japan. I am a person who is interested in traveling a lot. I think traveling to other places or countries give us the opportunity to learn new things and embrace new cultures. It opens up our eyes and makes us become more of a global citizen. Unfortunately, I do not have the chance to travel a lot.( money is the biggest factor 💸😂). Therefore, the only thing I could do is to “watch other people travel” on YouTube. My favorite ones would be FAROSE and Backpaeger.
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Record Collection MasterPost
Below the read more is a list of my current record collection. I’ll update the posts as it grows. Most of my collection was found thrifting so the condition of some covers and records are not in great condition, however I still love them all. 💕 tumblr has been stupid and keeps deleting some of the albums under A but I’m trying to fix it lmao
A
A
Steve Allen “Steve Allen Plays Bossanova Jazz”
Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass “Whipped Cream & Other Delights”
Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass “Whipped Cream & Other Delights”
Paul Anka “Feelings”
Paul Anka “Gold”
Paul Anka “Young, Alive, and in Love”
Arctic Monkeys “AM”
Chet Atkins “Nashville Gold”
B
Bad Company “Desolation Angels”
Joan Baez “Blessed Are…”
Joan Baez “From Every Stage”
Joan Baez “Joan Baez in Concert”
Joan Baez “Joan Baez in Concert Part 2”
The Beatles “1”
The Beatles “ ‘65”
The Beatles “1967-1970”
The Beatles “Abbey Road”
blink-182 “Greatest Hits”
Pat Boone “Love Me Tender”
Pat Boone “Star Dust”
The Byrds “Mr Tambourine Man”
The Byrds “Turn! Turn! Turn!”
C
Carmen Cavallaro “Dancing in the Dark”
The Carpenters “A Song for You”
The Carpenters “Made in America”
Cher “Dark Lady”
Cher “Take Me Home”
Chicago “V”
Claudine “The Look of Love”
Joe Cocker “I Can Stand A Little Rain”
Nat King Cole “Love is a Many Splendored Thing”
Nat King Cole “The Very Thought Of You”
Sam Cooke “Portrait of a Legend 1951-1964”
Cream “Disraeli Gears”
Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young “4 Way Street”
D
John Denver “Back Home Again”
John Denver “Greatest Hits”
John Denver “I Want to Live”
John Denver “It’s About Time”
John Denver “Rhymes & Reasons”
John Denver “Rocky Mountain High”
Neil Diamond “Stones”
Donovan “Barabajagal”
Donovan “Donovan”
Donovan “Greatest Hits”
The Doobie Brothers “Best of the Doobies”
Jimmy Dorsey “The Fabulous Jimmy Dorsey Plays His Biggest Hits”
Tommy Dorsey “The Best of Tommy Dorsey”
E
Earth, Wind, & Fire “Electric Universe”
The Graeme Edge Band “Paradise Ballroom”
Elvis “Elvis’ Golden Records”
Elvis “Mahalo from Elvis”
F
Fire & Rain “Mercury”
Ella Fitzgerald “Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Harold Arlen Song Book Vol. 1”
Fleetwood Mac “Rumours”
Don Fogelberg “Souvenirs”
Foreigner “4”
Aretha Franklin “Aretha’s Gold”
G
Bobbie Gentry and Glenn Campbell “Bobbie Gentry and Glenn Campbell”
Leslie Gore “I’ll Cry If I Want To”
The Grass Roots “Leaving It All Behind”
Green Day “Greatest Hits: God’s Favorite Band”
Greta Van Fleet “Anthem of the Peaceful Army”
Greta Van Fleet “The Battle at Garden’s Gate”
Greta Van Fleet “Black Smoke Rising”
Greta Van Fleet “From the Fires”
H
Sam Harris “Sam Harris”
Sam Harris “Sam I Am”
George Harrison “Living in the Material World”
Justin Hayward & John Lodge “Blue Jays”
The Jimi Hendrix Experience “Electric Ladyland”
Buddy Holly and The Crickets “20 Golden Greats”
Engelbert Humperdinck “After the Lovin”
I
J
Etta James “At Last”
Jefferson Airplane “After Bathing at Baxters”
Jefferson Airplane “Crown of Creation”
Jefferson Airplaine “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”
Jefferson Starship “Spitfire”
K
Carole King “Tapestry”
The Kinks “Sleepwalker”
Bonnie Koloc “Hold On To Me”
L
Don Lanphere Quintet “Into Somewhere”
Julian Lennon “Valotte”
Ramsey Lewis Trio “Hang On Ramsey!”
Gordon Lightfoot “Cold on the Shoulder”
Gordon Lightfoot “Summer Side of Life”
Gordon Lightfoot “The Best of Gordon Lightfoot”
Little Feat “The Last Record Album”
Little Fear “Time Loves A Hero”
Lene Lovich “Stateless”
Steve Lyon “There’s No Place Like Mars”
M
The Mamas & The Papas “The Mamas & The Papas Deliver”
The Mamas & The Papas “Presenting The Mamas & The Papas”
Barry Manilow “Here Comes The Night”
Melanie “Gather Me”
The Monkees “Headquarters”
The Monkees “The Monkees Deluxe Edition”
The Monkees “More of the Monkees”
The Moody Blues “This is the Moody Blues”
Maria Muldaur “Maria Muldaur”
Mystic Moods Orchestra “English Muffin”
Mystic Moods Orchestra “One Stormy Night”
N
Graham Nash “Wild Tales”
Juice Newton “Juice”
O
P
Peaches & Herb “2 HOT!”
Peaches & Herb “Greatest Hits”
Q
R
Bonnie Raitt “Green Light”
Smokey Robinson “A Quiet Storm”
The Rolling Stones “Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass”
Linda Ronstadt “Heart Like A Wheel”
Linda Ronstadt “Simple Dreams”
Tim Rose “Through Rose Colored Glasses”
S
Bud Shank & the folkswingers “Folk ‘N Flute”
Silk “Smooth As Raw Silk”
Simon and Garfunkel “Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, & Thyme”
Simon and Garfunkel “Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits”
Sonny & Cher “All I Ever Need Is You”
Sonny & Cher “In Case You’re In Love”
Rod Stewart “Never A Dull Moment”
Harry Styles “Harry’s House”
T
The Temptations “Greatest Hits”
The Temptations “House Party”
Tiffany “Hold An Old Friend’s Hand”
Jethro Tull “Songs from the Wood”
Conway Twitty “Conway Twitty’s Greatest Hits”
Bonnie Tyler “It’s A Heartache”
U
V
Various Artists “Country Love Vol. 1”
Various Artists “Let Yourself Go! Limited Edition Collector’s Album”
Various Artists “Time To Get It Together”
Various Artists “Vintage Music: Collectors Series Volume One”
The Vogues “Memories”
W
The White Stripes “The White Stripes Greatest Hits”
The Who “It’s Hard”
The Who “Magic Bus (The Who on Tour)”
X
Y
John Paul Young “Love Is In The Air”
Z
Film Soundtracks
Guardians of the Galaxy “Deluxe Vinyl Edition”
The Hollywood Knights
Oklahoma!
Saturday Night Fever
The Sound of Music
Stardust (1974)
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Challenge Game (Now 55 Questions)
Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions (not happening)
Tagged by @katsdisturbed (hey kat *waves*, just realising we have known each other coming up 10 years!!!!!!)
1. Coke or Pepsi: bleurgh neither
2. Disney or Dreamworks: disney
3. Coffee or Tea: tea
4. Books or Movies: oof it’s like sophie’s choice (of which i prefered the book!) too hard.
5. Windows or Mac: windows - never tried a mac though
6. DC or Marvel: like kat, I am a marvel girl
7. Xbox or Playstation: playstation i guess. i don’t really do gaming. i had an original playstation and used to play tomb raider and hogs of war but we are talking 30 years ago. gave it to my nephew as a retro gift a few years back
8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: no idea what those are
9. Night Owl or Early Rise: early riser
10. Cards or Chess: cards
11. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate (taste) vanilla (smell)
12. Vans or Converse: converse but i can’t wear them anymore due to requirement for orthopedic footwear hahahaha
13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: huh?
14. Fluff or Angst: even after 10 years on here, i don’t really know what those terms exactly relate to
15. Beach or Forest: forest i think. i love the sea and the coast but not so much sitting on the beach.
16. Dogs or Cats: rats
17. Clear Skies or Rain: both
18. Cooking or Eating Out: eating out.
19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: spicy
20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: christmas (sorry @ladyk23 and @fishcustardandclintbarton)
21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold every time
22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? agreeing with kat once more, teleportation would be nice - i like the idea of being on a nice holiday, but sleeping in my own bed.
23. Animation or Live Action: live action
24. Paragon or Renegade: *shrugs*
25. Baths or Showers: baths
26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: team cap
(oops i deleted 27)
28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so, what are they: “they don’t know we know they know we know!” “knowledge is power and france is bacon” “i said “fuck that”” (tom petty to his doctor on being told he’d have to quit playing the guitar)
29. YouTube or Netflix: netflix
30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: never seen or read percy jackson, and i do love a bit of harry
31. When You Feel Accomplished: hmm, when i have put all my washing away?
32. Star Wars or Star Trek: star wars i guess
33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: paperback (although these days, audible)
34. Handwriting or Typing: i can touch type and my handwriting is awful but i do like to read hand written things.
35. Velvet or Satin: velvet
36. Video Games or Movies: movies
37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? breathe fire and fly!!! yes please
38. Sunrise or sunset: sunrise
39. What’s your favourite song? the impossible question again. i do love david bowie’s version of wild is the wind beyond words. but when i start thinking about it i can add another 100 to that list. right now i am flipflopping between “ode to billy joe” and “yes sir i can boogie” that may give an indication of my tastes!
40. Horror Movies yes or no: sometimes. more psychology than gore please
41. Long hair or short hair: on me? short
42. Opera or Theatre: theatre
43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? hmm i don’t watch/read a lot of fantasy so i don’t have a lot of references here, but the planet in “the book of strange new things” would be fascinating to see
44: If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? cheese
45: Older guys or young guys? hmm the pool of “older” is dwindling haha
46: If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be? anything with ricky gervaise
47: Singing or dancing? singing
48: Instagram or Twitter? instagram. i don’t do twitter
49: What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS? it’s like taking candy from a baby 1. it’s mean 2. they can grip on pretty tight 3. who wants candy a baby has been drooling all over?
50: If there was a time period that you would gladly time travel to to live or visit, what would it be? stealing ancient rome from kat - yeah that sound kinda cool
51: If you could take one fictional character into this world to live with you and what not, under the contingency that the movie/book/tv/game universe they came from acts as if they never existed, who would it be and why? not sure i understand the question - i take a character and they are removed from the thing i took them from? hmm let’s see i shall take aaron cross from the bourne legacy for plenty of whatnot
52: What’s the story behind your tumblr account? i developed an interest in jeremy renner (i was in need of a rebound guy and couldn’t be arsed with the stress of finding a “real” one) and kept finding links to tumblr so decided to join. and am very glad that i did. it’ll be 10 years this autumn and it still makes me smile. delighted to have met some of you irl and who knows, one of these days someone may compliment me on my shoelaces!!!
53: If you were suddenly rendered invisible for the day (your clothing also, you don’t have to be naked… unless you want) what is the most mischievous thing you would do? now you have mentioned the naked thing, i think just strolling around naked and unnoticed. that sounds kind of freeing
54: If you could travel anywhere (cost is not a factor), where would you go? new zealand, at the same time as kat!!
55: What are your 3 favorite book character? harry hole, jackson brodie, jack caffery
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LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
September 15, 2021
Heather Cox Richardson
Today’s news can wait for tomorrow. Tonight, a thank-you.
Exactly two years ago today, after about a six-week hiatus during the summer, I wrote a Facebook post that started: “Many thanks to all of you who have reached out to see if I'm okay. I am, indeed (aside from having been on the losing end of an encounter with a yellow jacket this afternoon!). I've been moving, setting up house, and finishing the new book. Am back and ready to write, but now everything seems like such a dumpster fire it's very hard to know where to start. So how about a general overview of how things at the White House look to me, today....”
I went on to explain that the chair of the House Intelligence Committee, Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA), had written a letter to then–acting Director of National Intelligence, Joseph Maguire, on Friday, September 13, telling Maguire he knew that a whistleblower had filed a complaint with the inspector general of the intelligence community, who had deemed the complaint “credible” and "urgent.” This meant that the complaint was supposed to be sent on to the House Intelligence Committee. But, rather than sending it to the House as the law required, Maguire had withheld it. Schiff’s letter told Maguire that he knew about the complaint and that Maguire had better hand it over. Schiff speculated that Maguire was covering up evidence of crimes by the president or his closest advisors.
Readers swamped me with questions. So I wrote another post answering them and explaining the news, which began breaking at a breathtaking pace.
And so, these Letters from an American were born.
In the two years since then, we have lived through the Ukraine scandal—the secret behind the whistleblower complaint in Schiff’s letter—which revealed that then-president Trump was secretly running his own foreign policy team to strong-arm Ukraine into helping the president’s reelection campaign.
We lived through the abrupt withdrawal of U.S. troops from northern Syria in early October 2019, leaving our former Kurdish allies to be murdered by Turkish troops. ISIS freed compatriots from jails and launched new attacks, and Russian troops moved into the positions we had held in the region.
We lived through the impeachment hearings, the trial of former president Trump for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress, then the president’s acquittal on those charges and his subsequent purge of career government officials and their replacement with Trump loyalists.
Then, on February 7, just two days after Senate Republicans acquitted him, Trump picked up the phone and called veteran journalist Bob Woodward to tell him there was a deadly new virus spreading around the world. It was airborne, he explained, and was five times “more deadly than even your strenuous flus.” “This is deadly stuff,” he said. He would not share that information with other Americans, though, continuing to play down the virus in hopes of protecting the economy.
The pandemic, more than 660,000 of us—1 American in 500—have not lived through.
We have, though, lived through the attempts of the former president to rig the 2020 election, the determination of American voters to make their voices heard, the Black Lives Matter protests after the murder of George Floyd, the election of Democrat Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, and the subsequent refusal of Trump and his loyalists to accept Biden’s win.
And we have lived through the unthinkable: an attack on the U.S. Capitol by a mob determined to overrule the results of an election and install their own candidate in the White House. For the first time in our history, the peaceful transfer of power was broken.
Rather than disappearing after the inauguration of President Biden, the reactionary authoritarianism of the former president’s supporters has grown stronger. Senate Republicans acquitted Trump for a second time in his second impeachment trial-- this time for incitement of insurrection-- and in Republican-dominated states across the country, legislatures have passed laws to suppress Democratic voting and to put the counting of votes into partisan hands.
We have seen the attempts of Biden and the Democratic-controlled Congress to move America past this dark moment by making coronavirus vaccines widely available and passing the American Rescue Plan to rebuild the economy. We have watched the U.S. withdraw from the longest war in our history, losing 13 military personnel in the exit from Afghanistan that brought out more than 130,000 evacuees.
And we are, today, watching the fight over the survival of our democracy.
If you are tired, you have earned the right to be.
And yet, you are still here, reading.
I write these letters because I love America. I am staunchly committed to the principle of human self-determination for people of all races, genders, abilities, and ethnicities, and I believe that American democracy could be the form of government that comes closest to bringing that principle to reality. And I know that achieving that equality depends on a government shaped by fact-based debate rather than by extremist ideology and false narratives.
And so I write.
But I have come to understand that I am simply the translator for the sentiments shared by hundreds of thousands of people who are finding each other and giving voice to the principles of democracy. Your steadfast interest, curiosity, critical thinking, and especially your kindness—to me and to one another—illustrates that we have not only the power, but also the passion, to reinvent our nation.
To those who read these letters, send tips, proofread, criticize, comment, argue, worry, cheer, award medals (!), and support me and one another: I thank you all for taking me along on this wild, unexpected, exhausting, and exhilarating journey.
Notes:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/interactive/2021/1-in-500-covid-deaths/
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
HEATHER COX RICHARDSON
#history#Letters From An American#Heather Cox Richardson#American Democracy#human rights#voting rights
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What do you think the Animorphs would be like playing D&D? Not "the Animorphs in a D&D world", but the Animorphs actually sitting down and having a campaign of D&D. Like the classes/races they'd pick, their play styles, wacky shenanigans (because we all know it would happen).
[Credit to Cates for 100% of the character builds, and most of the lore, in this AU. In case you were wondering, I’m the Jake-style “never read the manual” chaotic-dumbass bard of our campaign; she’s the Marco-style “uses the rules exactly as much or little as needed” DM.]
It was decided almost right away that one on the team had any alignment. As DM, Marco attempted to start there, only to have Ax begin questioning whether the manual’s explanations of “good” and “evil” truly captured human ethics on a grand scale. Tobias claimed that Ax was looking at it all wrong, that the moralities were only default behavior types within the game, and that within this particular context morality didn’t matter. Cassie got very concerned about the idea of context-dependent morality, Rachel declared that the book was stupid and short-sighted for claiming that destroying things was always bad, Jake quietly asked for the fourth or fifth time if this game was actually a good idea…
“Fine!” Marco announced. “You’re all amoral characters. Happy?”
“‘Amoral’ implies that we’re immoral, doesn’t it?” Cassie asked. “Or that we exist outside the spectrum of moralities?”
“Just…” Marco rolled his eyes. “Everyone leave that spot on your character sheet blank, okay? If it ever comes up, we’ll deal with it on a case-by-case basis.”
“Yes,” Ax said, “although you never did answer my question about the implied ethical structure of this universe.”
After that, character creation went fairly smoothly. Kind of.
“Why does Dennis need a backstory, again?” Jake asked, looking down at his sheet.
“Dennis?” Marco said. “Dennis?
“You already said I wasn’t allowed to use ‘Dylan’ or ‘Brad’, so…’”
“C’mon man, this is D’nD. There are no Dennises in medieval fantasy epics.”
“Fine.” Jake crossed out and rewrote the name at the top of his character sheet. “Why does Keith need a backstory?”
“To explain his motivation.”
“You just said that the whole time we’re going to be chased around by orcs and whatnot. Isn’t not dying enough motivation?”
“You really don’t understand this game, do you?” Rachel said.
“I really don’t understand this game,” Jake agreed.
“My character’s a dragonborn rogue named Joan, and she’s the greatest gymnast of all time.” Rachel added a Dexterity marker to her sheet with a flourish.
“I thought I was a dragonborn,” Jake said. “Is that allowed?”
“Yeah, we can have as many dragonborns as you all want.” Marco shrugged. “We just can’t have multiple bards. And since you called dibs on that class, and Rachel wants to be a rogue, we’re fine.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jake said. “I just want to help out the team. Or, uh, Keith does?”
“Great.”
“So that’s my backstory, right? Being a bard?”
“Yes,” Rachel said, at the same time Marco said, “No!”
In the end, Marco declared that if neither Rachel nor Jake could come up with a proper backstory, he was making their characters cousins. Tobias, who had a better flair for the romantic, declared that said cousins were from an internationally feared family of highwaymen.
“So does that get us any extra skills, coming from a family of pirates?” Rachel asked.
“Maybe it’d explain how good your character is at gymnastics,” Jake said. “Because of riggings and all.”
“Highwaymen.” Marco looked up from where he was trying to salvage Keith’s stats from the hopeless tangle of Jake’s incorrect math. “Tobias said you guys are highwaymen, not pirates.”
“What are pirates but highwaymen of the sea?” Tobias asked, tilting his head in thought.
“Just put us down as jewel thieves.” Rachel made a note on her own sheet. “Jewel thieves of diverse methodology. Wherever jewels can be found, there we are with threats of violence to take them away.”
“By the way, why is Ax now a tiefling?” Tobias asked Marco.
“I told Marco I have no preference for my class and race,” Ax said. “And the word is most pleasant, tea-fling. Ffflllling.”
“They’re blue and have tails.” Marco smirked at Tobias. “It’s perfect!”
Rachel and Jake might’ve been vague on the idea of backstory, but Ax was quite definite.
“I am Eldrias the tiefling, fffflllling, paladin. She was raised by cows,” he announced.
“Don’t you mean raised by wolves?” Jake said. “Isn’t that a thing, raised by wolves?”
“Uh-huh,” Marco said, “since your land-pirates make perfect sense.”
“Wolves are beautiful animals, but they pale in comparison to cows,” Ax said. “Among other things, wolves’ meat is not so succulent and does not pair nearly as well with french fries.”
“Okay then,” Jake said, “raised by cows. Got it.”
Becoming a barbarian was Cassie’s idea. She spun through the manual in a rapid burst of pages, brushing gentle fingertips over the beautifully rendered illustrations, and then pressed it shut. “Barbarian,” she said. “That’s the one that can protect the team the best, right? So I’ll be a barbarian.”
Marco laughed. “All right then. Barbarian it is. Anything else in mind, for this barbarian of yours?”
Cassie tapped a finger against her lower lip, fluttering through the first several pages of the manual once again. “I could make my character a big, tall guy, right?”
“Sure.”
“But I want pointy ears.” She grinned at the rest of the table, somewhat sheepish.
“Half-elf barbarian, then?”
“Half-elf barbarian.” Cassie looked down at the sheet in front of her. “He can be named Reisgalan Von Schwartzel of the Morsgalath Half-Elves, Lord of the Plains and Wielder of…” She glanced around. “What’s that thing with the spiky ball on a stick?”
“Mace,” Rachel provided.
“Mace is that spray you use on bears and muggers,” Jake said.
“And it’s also a spiky ball on a stick.” Marco glanced at Cassie’s sheet. “You have a backstory for Reisgalan Von Whatshisface?”
“Hmmmm. Can I be widowed and have a tragically dead prince I must avenge?”
“Is it me?” Jake smiled hopefully.
“What?” Cassie frowned at him. “No. That’d be horrible.” She looked over at Marco. “Uh, can my character be a guy and also have a dead husband? Is that allowed?”
“Yeah, sure,” Marco said. “I’m the ruler of this universe, so I say it’s fine. And Tobias is the designated rules lawyer, so he’ll probably have some reason that it’s not.”
“I am not rules-lawyering!”
Marco looked at Ax’s character sheet, and then pointedly back up at Tobias. “Ax, how did you end up as not just a paladin, but a paladin that’s even more overpowered than the standard build?”
“Paladins are allowed.” Tobias shrugged. “It’s right there in the manual.”
“Ax, how you have splint armor?” Marco demanded.
“Paladins can wear Heavy armor,” Tobias sing-songed.
Marco growled.
Ax squinted at his character sheet. “Tobias says when I get to Level Three, I will take the Oath of Vengeance and take a Vow of Enmity. I will know the spells Thunderous Smite, Command, and Detect Magic.”
Marco’s face was turning an interesting shade of red.
“Oh, and Eldrias the paladin is taking Great Weapon as her Fighting Style.” Tobias wasn’t bothering to hide his smirk. “It’s all perfectly legal.”
Ax frowned at Marco. “Banging your head against the table with that level of force may have an adverse effect on your brain’s ability to function.”
“I’m not rules-lawyering for selfish gain,” Tobias said loftily, looking over Marco’s prone form. “And besides, Ax is new at this. He needs all the help he can get.”
“You find yourselves in a magical land.” Marco made a wild gesture in the air. It was probably meant to look dramatic and mysterious. “A land known as Falicornia.”
“Marco sucks at naming things,” Rachel whispered loudly.
“Rachel sucks at listening,” Marco whispered more loudly.
“You were saying?” Jake asked.
“This magical land is under threat from the dread god Cthulu! You must stop him through using the Philosopher’s Stone, which is powerful but cannot be used except by those who do not wish to use it. It contains many powerful temptations for the bearer. You must journey across the land, facing many dangers, to bring it to the only magical mirror that can destroy it before Cthulu has the chance to rise from that mirror and take over the world.”
Cassie raised her hand.
“Yes?” Marco said.
“Why does Cthulu want to take over the world?” she asked. “Does he need it for something?”
Marco sighed. “He wants to take over because he’s Cthulu. Any other questions?”
“First question: did you steal more of this plot from The Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter?” Rachel said immediately. “Second question—” She turned to Ax. “Have we showed you those movies?”
“He’s reading the books first,” Tobias said.
“I’m reading the books first,” Ax agreed.
“You were saying about Cthulu,” Jake said to Marco.
“Yes. He wants to take over because he’s Cthulu,” Marco glared at Rachel. “Just because.“
“Actually,” Tobias said, “the original version of Cthulu was kind of like the Silver Surfer of Norse Mythology, and his motivation—”
“He wants to take over because he’s Cthulu.” Marco took a deep breath. “Anyway. Moving on.”
“Okay, you’re here.” Marco pointed to the G.I. Joe figure sitting in the middle of their somewhat crudely drawn map. “The goblins are…” One after another, he set four white pawns from his mom’s chess set around the G.I. Joe that represented Jake, forming a half-circle that separated him from Ax’s Smurf, Cassie’s My Little Pony miniature, and Tobias’s Precious Moments angel figurine. “Rachel is, uh…” He set the teddy bear pencil topper several inches back, between two goblin-pawns. “There. So.” Marco looked up at Jake. “You’re under attack. You’re up first in initiative order. What’re you going to do?”
Jake frowned, surveying the scene in front of him. “I have magic, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay, so I’ll use magic to turn myself into a bird, and then—”
“Yeah, no.”
“Then I’ll turn my teammates into birds, and they can—”
“You cannot turn yourself into a bird, you cannot turn anyone else into a bird, no one is turning into a bird or any other animal at any point in this game.” Marco glanced over at Tobias. “No offense.”
“Oh, I totally agree,” Tobias said. “A Level One bard performing an animal shapes transmutation? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Anyway.” Marco pointed at Jake’s G.I. Joe figurine. “Assuming we���re sticking to handheld weapons, what else do you want to do?”
“I… shoot the goblin?” Jake suggested. “With my…” He flipped over his character sheet, squinting at his own handwriting. “With my board-sword.”
“Pretty sure you meant ‘broadsword,’” Rachel said. “Okay, Jake killed the goblin, now what?”
Cassie peered over Jake’s shoulder. “It could just be a sword made out of boards, you don’t know.”
“Jake only has thirteen out of sixty odds of killing the goblin on one go,” Marco said.
Tobias flipped open his own manual to the entry on goblins. “Where are you getting these numbers from?”
Marco selected two dice from the pile, handing them both to Jake. “Oh, I just figure that if the goblin’s got an armor class of seven and five HP, then Jake’s got a thirteen-in-twenty chance of scoring a hit and then a two-in-six chance of it being deadly, given his hit dice. So if you reduce twenty-six over one-twenty down it’s thirteen in sixty. Like, point-two-one-seven out of one. Simple math.” He gestured at Jake. “Roll those.”
“You and I have very different definitions of the word ‘simple.’” Jake looked up. “Uh, ten and the other one says four?”
“You grievously injured but did not kill the goblin,” Marco said graciously. “Now it’s the turn for this leftmost goblin, who is going to run and stick a sword through Rachel…” He rolled, and winced. “That’s fifteen to hit, and two damage?”
“What’s that mean for my little rogue?” Rachel waved her pencil topper at him.
“You got stabbed,” Marco said.
“Uh-huh.” Rachel picked up her pen and sheet. “Where?”
Marco shrugged. “The leg, let’s say. Uh, upper thigh?”
“Mm-hmm.” She wrote that down.
“Okay, then.” Marco glanced at his sheet. “Next in initiative order is—”
“I cast psionic blast as a Level One spell, which would cause additional damage to fiends or the undead. Are they undead goblins?” Tobias asked.
Marco rolled his eyes. “Nope.”
“Then they each suffer three points of damage and do not have the opportunity to make saving throws for the next minute and a half,” Tobias said. “That’s my first spell slot today.”
“Okay.” Marco tipped over one of the goblin pawns. “That one’s dead. Cassie?”
“That one’s threatening Ax?” She pointed at the pawn within the same square as the Smurf figurine.
“Yep.”
She nodded. “Then I smash its head in with my mace.” She rolled. “Eight to hit, eight damage?”
“Oh yeah, you just annihilated that one.”
“Good, good, so now can I mace the one that attacked Rachel?”
“Cool your jets.” Marco held up both hands. “You don’t get to do multiple hulk-smashes in one round until several levels up from here.”
Cassie wilted a little. “Okay. But I want to run over next to that one to be ready to mace it soon.”
“All right, center goblin is going to try and swing his big old greatsword at Cassie as an attack of opportunity…” Marco rolled. “And that’s a miss. Rachel, you’re up.”
“I’m unconscious,” Rachel said.
Marco gave her a blank look. “No you’re not.”
“Yes she is,” Ax said. “You just allowed that goblin— gob-blin? Goo-blin? —to stab her.”
“I did not allow— The dice—” Marco took a deep breath. “Rachel, you only took two points of damage. Go ahead and make a turn.”
“Okay, you clearly said…” Rachel glanced at her own notes. “That the goblin stuck its sword through my upper thigh. And apparently these are pretty big swords. No way in hell that misses the artery, not if I’m only about human-sized at the time. You also said that the goblin has its sword back, which means it pulled the sword out, which means that by now I have definitely lost enough blood to be unconscious. It’s just basic logic.”
Marco opened his mouth halfway. “That’s not how damage functions in this game,” he said at last.
“No, she’s right,” Jake said. “She wouldn’t necessarily be dead from blood loss by now, but on the super-narrow chance she’s still conscious, she’s not going to have the, like, grip strength to be shooting people with arrows or anything. That’s just how getting stabbed works.”
“Actually…” Tobias looked up from where he was sorting his flash cards of wizard spells. “In combat time, each turn is six seconds. So it hasn’t been five minutes of game-time. It’s been less than three seconds.”
“So this goblin managed to stick its sword all the way through me, pull it loose, and then get back into position to make a different attack in less than a second?” Rachel said. “And I don’t need to take a second or two to react to having been stabbed?”
“Yes!” Tobias said.
“This game is not closely aligned with the timing and functions of real combat,” Ax pointed out.
Marco let out a noise somewhere between a sigh and a shriek. “No shit, Sherlock! Can we please just play by the rules?”
“I’m just saying it’s not realistic,” Rachel muttered. “You get run through the leg with a sword, you bleed to death. That’s how it goes.”
“Would you please shoot someone already?” Marco said.
“If you insist.”
At Level Two, Tobias’s gnome wizard joined the School of Divination for exactly one game. “He’s rules-lawyering things that haven’t even happened yet,” Marco cried, throwing out his hands like this was the greatest injustice ever visited upon humanity. At which point Tobias decided that discretion was the better part of valor and switched to the School of Evocation. Marco’s eye stopped twitching.
“No, no, no.” Marco leaned over to look at Jake’s roll. “You add your charisma modifier to your attack roll, and then your strength modifier to your damage roll.”
“So he adds twelve to his roll?” Cassie looked at her own sheet. “I add seventeen to my roll?”
“Modifier. Not the whole stat. Mod-if-i-er.” Marco groaned loudly. “Is Tobias the only one who even tried to read the manual?”
“C’mon, man.” Jake shrugged, grinning. “When have you ever known me to do the assigned reading?”
“I have Tobias here to summarize the manual for me,” Rachel pointed out. “Why bother?”
“I did attempt to read the manual. Man. Well. It was not the most boring human book ever written, but it was very repetitive.” Ax glanced around at all of them. “Not to say that all human books are bad, even if they are all repetitive,” he added quickly. “Take the books of Harry Potter, which are acceptable in addition to being repetitive.”
“‘Acceptable’?” Tobias shook his head. “‘Repetitive’? You, sir, are wounding my entire species — one of my species — Just don’t diss the Potter.”
“There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ professor,” Ax intoned.
Laughing, Tobias leaned over to bump their shoulders together. “I take it back. I love you, Ax-man. Never change.”
“Anyway,” Cassie said, “we elected Tobias party leader, so he’s the only one who really needs to know how to play, right?”
“‘Elected’ is a pretty strong word for it. The way I remember it, I was like…” Marco put on a deeper voice, “‘Who wants to be party leader?’ and Jake yelled ‘NOT IT’ so loud that he probably startled pigeons in the next county over. And then Tobias was the first one to recover from the shock long enough to volunteer.”
“I didn’t yell it, I said it,” Jake mumbled. “Said it enthusiastically.”
“And you’re wrong. We did nose-goes.” Rachel tapped her own nose to demonstrate. “Tobias lost.”
Ax’s eyes widened. “So you and Cassie covering your noses was a primitive selection procedure in the manner of duck-duck-goose? I thought we were all simply being polite by hiding our hideous human orifices from one another.”
“Anyway,” Tobias said, “as party leader, I’m declaring that we can whine about noses — and bipedalism — at a later time. For now, let’s play.”
“Ah, yes.” Ax looked down at the dice, and then back up at Marco. “Who was attacking whom, again?”
Marco stared around the board, and then back at the dice. “Like I remember that now!”
It was a small miracle that they all kept showing up after that first week. Tobias and Marco were the only ones with both the skill and the enthusiasm to be any good at the game. Cassie and Rachel lacked the necessary motivation: Cassie tended to get lost in long conversations with NPCs and never advanced the plot at all, whereas Rachel was likely to start climbing the walls with impatience after half an hour of sitting still. Ax and Jake were both reasonably enthusiastic but terrible: Jake paid no attention at all to the math, and Ax paid too much. They had one set of dice between the six of them, if one was generous and called rolling a d6 twice the same as rolling a d12. (It wasn’t, but Marco’s and Ax’s attempts to explain this always made everyone else’s eyes glaze over.)
Seriously, though, Marco knew perfectly well why they kept showing up. And it had nothing to do with everyone getting on board with Tobias’s super-geeky idea. They’d tried Dungeons and Dragons, and they hadn’t actually started liking it.
It had nothing to do with the storyline. Or the dice. Or the characters. They weren’t here for swords or goblins. They didn’t drop everything to spend four hours a week in each other’s company because they liked the game.
Duh.
Of course, even their love for each other could be tested, at times, by their sheer incompetence as players.
“We’re still in the undercave?” Jake groaned, looking at the game board. “We’ve been down here for like six weeks!”
“Yeah, ‘cause we’re stuck.” Rachel glared around the table. “Because we keep trying to fight the ooze monster and then almost dying. Because we suck at this game.”
“Still say there should’ve been illithids,” Tobias muttered. “We’re in the cave of the illithids, but instead we’ve got apocalyptic ooze where there isn’t supposed to be any. That’s why we’re stuck.”
Marco sighed into his hands. “For the last time, man, we’re not having any stupid mind flayers in this game. There is a way out, I promise you, if you guys would just stop and figure it out.”
“I stab the ooze?” Cassie suggested.
“You take fourteen acid damage and permanently blunt your sword.” Marco didn’t bother to look up. “Just like last time.”
“Ugh.” Cassie wrote down her new HP. “At least I ruled out repeated stabbing as a way out?”
“Okay, okay.” Jake stared at the game board, yet again failing to take the this map not to scale memo. “We can figure this out. Is it a cave kind of like those caves under Leeran?”
Marco lifted his head, tossing his hair out of his face. “I got schlooped back to Earth before you guys got to see those, remember?”
“They were very beautiful,” Ax said, “and also full of toxic eels. So perhaps Prince Jake’s comparison is apt.”
“The real toxic eel is the friends we made along the way.” Rachel tilted her chair back, picking at her manicure. “Think we should just call it a day?”
“No, no, Jake’s right.” Cassie stared at the board. “I believe in us.”
“It was kinda cool in the Leeran caves, so sorry you missed it,” Jake said to Marco. “I was dead and missed the Battle of Trafalgar, though, so it all balances out?”
“The Battle of Trafalgar was not cool at all.” Marco rolled his eyes. “It was a battle. It was gross and loud and bloody. Is no one going to try anything else?”
“I pull out my rope and my flint, I set the rope on fire, we all die of smoke inhalation,” Rachel drawled. “There, I got us out of the cave.”
“And into the afterlife,” Ax said solemnly. “If, indeed, this game has an afterlife. It was designed by humans, so I assume… Soom. That it must.”
“Look, if we could just fight the mind flayer instead,” Tobias said, “there are clear strategies in place for how to fend off psychic attacks, and even if a few of us end up as mind-witnesses we could still use a handful of different spells—” He swung his copy of the manual around to face Marco, pointing to a spot low on the open page. “If you’ll just look at what the book says…”
Marco slammed the book shut, hard.
Tobias had to yank his hand back to avoid smashed fingers. “Watch it!” he snapped.
“Guys,” Jake said. “Let’s—”
“Rule. Zero.” Marco flattened a hand on top of the closed book. “I’m the DM here, and I get to say that there are no mind flayers and definitely no mind witnesses, because I say so. I’m the Ellimist of this little universe, and you don’t get a counter-argument.”
Rachel snorted loudly. “Bad comparison. Tobias argues with the real Ellimist all the time.”
“Only when he’s doing something stupid.” Tobias was looking at Marco, not at her. “Or breaking the rules of his own game.”
“Tobias…” Jake inhaled slowly, massaging the bridge of his nose. “It’s just a game, okay? Marco… We are kinda stuck, dude, no offense. Couldn’t we at least try to fight whatever it is Tobias wants, see if that gets us out of here?”
Marco pushed to his feet, face flushed. “I’m running this game, because you people decided I should. And I don’t give a fuck how much Bird-Boy complains, this game is not going to involve anyone getting psychically mind-controlled. It will not feature alien tadpoles that crawl inside people’s brains and take over their bodies.” He swept a hand across the board. “There will be no illithids, there will be no brain golems, there will be no controllers—”
Marco snapped his mouth shut.
There was a long silence. Tobias stared at the floor.
“Mind-witnesses,” Marco said at last. “I meant mind-witnesses.”
THUNK.
Figurines and dice scattered everywhere. The play-dough lump of ooze flattened underneath the second game board Cassie had just dropped on top of the first.
“Anyway,” she said, giving everyone an embarrassed smile. “How about we switch to Monopoly for a while?”
“I call being the little dog piece,” Rachel said, pulling the box open.
“I’m sorry,” Tobias whispered to Marco, as Ax began clattering through the pieces and asking Jake questions. “I didn’t mean…”
“Yeah.” Marco pulled the bank toward him and counting out notes. “Same here, man. Uh, y’know. Sorry I…”
“We’re cool. We’re cool?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“Does this highly successful roll mean I have first chance to stab Income Tax with my—” Ax squinted at his game piece “—car? So I’ll be attempting to inflict damage on Income Tax by running it over?”
“Many have tried that strategy,” Rachel intoned. “None have succeeded so far.”
“You know that your beloved manual lists exactly the same stats for hawks, eagles, and owls, right?” Marco asked, grinning evilly.
“What? No.” Tobias frantically flipped toward the back of the book.
“Anyway, is he right?” Cassie asked as Tobias searched. “Are we all supposed to be dead right now?”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Marco said. “Yes, the explosion would have done a lot of damage to all of you—”
“Thanks, Jake,” Rachel snarked.
Jake sighed loudly. “How was I supposed to know you had to throw the hand grenade after you pulled the pin?”
“You mean the part where Ax and Tobias were both yelling ‘toss it, toss it,’ and you were like ‘no, I’m gonna do an investigation check first’?” she said. “And then we all died?”
“Actually, I believe Cassie was raging at the time when the ceiling fell on us all,” Ax said. “Therefore, her damage would be halved.”
“Hell yeah!” Cassie laughed. “So it’s just…” She peered at Marco’s roll and winced. “Everyone else… in the entire party… who automatically failed a death check. Right, Tobias?”
“No,” Marco said loudly, “because Jake cast Teleportation Circle and got you all out of there before the ceiling fell.”
“But Tobias believes that that would be allowing too many actions on a single turn. Uurn. Earn,” Ax said. “And that Jake wouldn’t have time to set up the circle even if he did have a bonus action left.”
“For fuck’s sake, do you want to end on a total party kill?” Marco demanded.
Rachel smiled sweetly. “It’s not a TPK if Cassie’s still alive.”
Marco rolled his eyes. “Oh, in that case—”
“Oh my god, you’re right!” Tobias sounded outraged.
“Am I dead?” Rachel pouted. “Just when this stupid game was starting to grow on me.”
“No, not that.” Tobias stabbed a finger on the page. “It says right here. ‘For hawk, see: eagle.’ It fucking classifies hawks as a fucking subspecies of eagle!”
“What were you just saying about us following the manual at the expense of our lives?” Marco said smugly.
Tobias stared in betrayed horror at the page for another second. And then he tossed the entire book clear over his shoulder and out of the room. It clattered loudly in the hall.
“So as I was saying, Jake cast Teleportation Circle,” Marco said. “And teleported you all out of there.”
“So we’re… not dead?” Cassie asked.
“Given the nature of teleportation, perhaps we are both dead and not, existing in the gap between states,” Ax said. “Like when our consciousness was trapped in z-space, and yet our matter remained on Earth. Or we exist in multiple universes at once, some in which we have died and some in which we yet live.”
“Yeah, cool, Schrödinger’s party,” Rachel said. “Blah, blah. Anyway, I’m gonna punch Jake in the arm for being a dumbass. In-game and out-of-game.”
“Good luck with that.” Marco cackled his evil DM cackle. “The only universe I care about is the one where the whole lot of you give me an initiative roll. Because I didn’t say Jake teleported you to a safe location, just a different one.”
#animorphs#animorphs au#long post#au#dnd#d&d#violence#gore#dungeons and dragons#jake berenson#rachel berenson#tobias fangor#aximili esgarrouth isthill#marco animorphs#cassie animorphs#tabletop games#ficlet#i'm probably forgetting to tag something#anonymous#asks
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Characters that are Demisexual Part 2
You can read part 1 here (x)
Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa from Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom- I am putting these two together because they are demi as fuck for each other. Yes, they both had very traumatizing backstories, making them closed off and afraid of intimacy, but they don’t seem to be too afraid when it’s each other. Inej gets flustered when she sees Kaz shirtless, willingly touches him and let’s herself be touched by him, then famously told him after asking how he’d have her if he won’t touch her, “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all.” She does, of course, mean that he needs to be emotionally open to her if he really does want her, but it can be read that she won’t simply be used again and not have a connection. And the fact that she doesn’t tell him that she isn’t interested in the possibility of having sex with him tells me that she isn’t straight up asexual. Kaz just jumped out to me as demi so quickly. How many times had there been passages when he thinks about wanting to touch her despite his aversion to flesh, wanting to kiss her and thought “Desire coursed through him, a thousand images he’d hoarded, barely let himself imagine- the fall of her dark hair freed from its braid, his hand fitted to the lithe curve of her waist, her lips parted, whispering his name.” And how many times had you read him wanting anyone else? Zero. These two will have to take their time due to their trauma, but they are most certainly demis, a rarity in media, two demis who fall for each other.
Sally Albright from When Harry Met Sally- I love When Harry Met Sally and I can’t tell you how many times I had seen but only in my latest rewatch did I realize that Sally was demi. The scene that really clicked it for me was when Harry has a breakdown after seeing his ex-wife and questions why Sally hasn’t slept with anyone after Joe, and she remarks “I’ll make love when it’s making love, not the way you do it, like you are out for revenge or something!” That was the moment that made me go “oh”. And her being thoroughly upset after she sleeps with Harry and him saying that it didn’t mean anything, it’s not just a woman thing, but a demi thing. Sally is a demi, it makes perfect sense now.
Erik from The Phantom of the Opera- Honestly, almost all the Phantom versions, Erik is a demi, the exceptions are the Robert Englund and Dario Argento versions. But pretty much, all forms of Erik exhibit signs of being demi. Sure, you could say that the reason why he hasn’t been with anyone is because he is an ugly mofo, but his desire to be normal and have someone to love him for himself is greater than anything else. And in the Leroux version, his idea of a normal marriage primarily consists of singing, walking in the park and having fun together.
Meggie Cleary from The Thorn Birds- Going through the book, there was a particular line that made me go, hmmm. It’s after she and Ralph make love that she realizes that the reason it didn’t feel good with Luke, was because she didn’t love Luke. It isn’t just that Meggie had been in love with Ralph for years, but the fact that she did try to forget him and wanted to enjoy sex with Luke, but it just didn’t work out. And the fact that she could go for over a decade without needing or wanting sex until Ralph visits again, just struck me as being closer to a demi thing than anything else.
Bertram Potts from Ball of Fire- Bertram is the youngest of a set of professor who are working on an encyclopedia, and he is adorkable to the T. But he also is demi. He doesn’t have any interest or is confused by attraction until he feels it himself with Sugarpuss. Even then, the feelings confuse him and he isn’t sure of how to express his feelings the way he’d want to. Plus, the fact that he got overwhelmed with desire that he ran away from her after getting kiss to place a cool wet towel on the back of his neck is something I feel like I’d do. If you get a chance, watch this oldie but goodie, it’s just too cute!
Mary Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life- Try and convince this girl that there is another man in the world who isn’t George Bailey. Impossible, huh? So impossible that in the alternate world where George doesn’t exist, she became an old maid. No man could in any way compare to George Bailey, the man she fell in love with as a child and loved through adulthood.
Henry Pearl from Battlecreek- Henry is just a pure sweet soft boy, and demi just, I don’t know, radiates off him. He has only two friends and he holds onto to them dearly, showing that he doesn’t need much as long as he has a good person to be with. I appreciated that the film never did a sex scene when they could have, but they just showed that he was content with cuddling with a person, a rare thing to find, especially when the character is a man, and that man is played by Bill Skarsgard.
Kyle Reese from The Terminator- While Kyle and Sarah are hiding out in the hotel, Sarah asked what the women from his time were like, his response? “Good fighters”. He had to have Sarah spell it out for him before he responded with having said he never had sex. While I am not sure at what age or for how long he had Sarah’s picture based of the first film, but the fact that he is an adult and could have been with someone but decided not to, read to me as being incredibly demi. And much like Mary Bailey, try and convince Kyle that there is any other woman in the world but Sarah. Kyle Reese is a ride or die man and a demi to a T.
Hordak and Entrapta from She Ra- Once I saw this post (x), I was just like, hell yeah! Another couple who are demi for each other! They both showed having no interest in any romantic and/or sexual relationship but when they meet, they learn to feel comfortable with each other and their relationship slowly builds, until ultimately they are fighting for each other and become a couple at the end.
Gwynplaine and Dea from The Man Who Laughs/The Grinning Man- I end this list again with a couple. Gwynplaine and Dea have known each other their while lives and have lived a life that seems the perfect image of innocent love. And even though Gwynplaine is tempted to have sex with Josiana, it is driven more from his insecurity of being seen and accepted, as Dea who is blind is unable to see him physically. In the end, they never stray from the other and end up happily together, (or even in death, which why Hugo?)
Feel free to add more if you thought of any!
#post#demisexual#six of crows#crooked kingdom#kaz x inej#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#when harry met sally#phantom of the opera#erik the phantom#the thorn birds#ball of fire#it's a wonderful life#battlecreek#the terminator#entrapdak#she ra#the man who laughs#the grinning man
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BohRap Boys as Elementary Teachers!
An HC inspired by an anon suggesting this idea on @almightygwil blog and encouraged by @postercalum and @im-an-adult-ish!
Joe, the Homeroom Teacher:
Joe would be a homeroom teacher and all the kids l o v e him. Don’t get me wrong, they love all of the guys, but Joe especially.
He would have all sorts of toys and play things out. His homeroom would be really colorful.
He would make things like getting in line a fun game, “Okay, if your favorite pizza topping is pepperoni, get in line! Now get to the line, but walk like you’re in peanut butter!”
Tells the funniest stories in class that makes everyone laugh.
Takes them on field trips to the Natural museum for the dinosaurs of course!!
Sometimes when he is explaining a basic math problem makes funny voices for the numbers to get them to have fun. “Oooo nooo! Don’t subtract me! I’m breaking up! NooooOOoooo!”
His kids would always want to hug him and not let him go, they always get huggy especially at the end of the school year.
Would come on colder days wearing sweater vests to where one Halloween all the kids decided to be “Mr. Mazzello” for trick or treat and came in to see a sea of ginger wigs and sweater vests and they took the cutest picture.
Rami, the Social Studies Teacher:
Rami would be so good at explaining history. Someone would say “Mr. Malek? I can’t understand what the textbook means, why did they get upset about taxing tea?”
So he would say “what if someone asked for a hundred bucks from you every time you ate pizza?” and they would go “oh.”
He also comes up with fun little plays about history and encourages kids to dress up like their favorite person from history.
He would be more quiet, but somehow get those kids attention really well.
He has a signature “swirl” dance (like on the Ellen interview/game with RDJ for Dcotor Dolittle) that all the kids like to copy.
He understands how homework can be hard and stays after to help kids and even talks to them if they are anxious about a test.
He even talks about his own history and being Egyptian and one week teaches the kids all about ancient Egypt! They even color pictures of the hieroglyphs and reads them myths and makes pyramids for a craft and they love it!
Sometimes thinks of small gifts to give to shyer kids or kids who come from poorer homes and don’t have stuff or Christmas presents and they always love him for it.
Ben, the P.E. teacher:
Although Ben is extremely athletic, he knows there is only so much those kids can do. When the board suggests having all the kids run a whole mile he adamantly refuses. “They’re kids, not bloody Olympians!”
Instead, in PE, he comes up with walking a mile-they can run if they want to! Some even walk with him, he always keeps up with the slower kids.
Talks about how to make vegetables yummy- like noticing the colors and even ways to cook them for the older kids.
He even introduces fun dances- like waltzing or country dances or even bringing in an Irish dancer to introduce a little cieli to the kids with all the basic steps!
He teaches everyone a little bit about rugby and is so verbally supportive, especially with kids who aren’t as good at sports.
“See there! You got it to score! You’re doing so good!”
He has too much fun playing with the scooters and setting up the scooter course for the kids: though he always has little water bottles in the fridge for them if they need it.
Some of the little boys notice his biceps and try to imitate with flexing their muscles and it’s really cute! He would also teach the kids early on that their bodies are cool and worthy of being loved in some way.
“You don’t have to have all sorts of muscles here: your arms can do all sorts of things! See!”
Gwilym, the Librarian:
Gwil would fill the library with plants for the kids. Sometimes they take turns watering it. Every plant is named after a book character: Harry Potter, Anne of Green Gables, etc. and the kids love it.
His readings are really animated during story time and they adore it!
Plus he even hangs out after school to help teach kids to read a little bit better.
When they find out he’s Welsh (in a non Welsh school) he teaches them basic phrases, so when they gather to see him, he says “su’mae!” and they all say loudly “su’mae Mr. Lee!” and he almost cries at the sound.
He even gets them into Shakespeare at least for the stories and the different ways they can be done.
He always hosts the most fun book fairs and there are treats and games and they all love it. If a student has trouble buying a book he will secretly get it for them, “everyone should have a book they love” will be written on a note to the kid.
Has the best recommendations for kids if they can’t think of a book they want or need something like they just love! And he always talks to them about it and sees the passion in their eyes shine.
Some kids as gifts give him little dandelions or wildflowers from the yard and he has them pressed into books at home.
Of course all these, kids, like @almightygwil, would fight over who was cooler and you would end of with the teacher of your choice!
Taglist: @queenlover05 @stardust-killer-queen (I forgot to tag you at first bc I forgot and I’m not used to having more than one person want to be tagged and I am sorry, lovie!!!)
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Comfort artists tag
@crystal-child94 tagged me to post a list including 10 of my comfort artists, (‘’basically anyone who you can listen to any time of the day or week and not get tired.’’). Thanks dear !
In no particular ordrer. But first of all, let’s spice things up, shall we ? I solemnly swear I won’t talk about the following : The Devil’s Blood, Dissection or Watain (apart from here because a post on this blog about “comfort artists” without these three bands names written somewhere would obviously be a false document, written by a bad copycat.)
Let’s start with The Gazette, because they just realeased a new single and they seem to be back to their old-school sound, and Uruha’s solo was the highlight of my day, sorry not sorry, I am going to be 16 years old again and really unsufferable with that. I am so happy.
Versailles, also discovered during my teenage years. It’s the first band I saw live on my own (with my best friend from Belgium but like, unsupervised) so it always brings back bitterweet memories, vibes of pure joy, pleasure and nostalgia entertwined. I could also quote Screw, but Versailles, Hizaki,The Gazette stayed in my playlists until today, with DIR EN GREY and finally X Japan that I rediscovered more recently.
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, discovered during the same period of time thanks to my mother who gave me her copy of the Greatest Hits. Don’t talk to me about “old fashioned rock for dads” because Clarence Clemons’ saxophone is eternal. I won’t take any counter-arguments.
Windir.
Ensiferum because with everything they did until Unsung Heroes, especially pieces like Victory Songs and From Afar, they used to embody the perfect spirit of folk metal as I like it.
Whenever I need a little (or a huge) travel in time and space, Wardruna is an obvious choice. I will never forget the time I saw them perform at the Castle of the Dukes of Brittany. It was one of these perfect “out of time” moments.
Another band I can always listen to : Nightwish, every era, every singer, almost every album (starting to get more into Human. :||: Nature. lately).
Dan ar Braz, a sweet evocation of one of my homelands. Obviously I can’t get tired of it.
Howard Shore for his magical musical pieces for the Lord of the Rings trilogy. And speaking of movie score : John Williams and Harry Gregson Williams, Joe Hisaishi are also particular favorites of mine.
Era holds a very special place in my heart. I had my first records of this project (Era I and The Mass) at the same time as Assassin’s Apprentice so in my mind, its closely linked to Robin Hobb’s books, and my first journey into her world. The mystical undertones/gregorian chants/imaginary language here always speak to me of Skill and Wit-bonding. And each of my re-reading of the series is accompanied by this music.
And I can’t do such a top without talking about Rammstein.It was one of the bands that got me into metal, and later, a certain Edith Piaf cover kept me from going absolutely insane some years ago so I can (nearly) forget them for a song such as Ausländer. Nearly.
Tagging @tasha-lemon @omarandjohnny @paon-de-jour @misfit-on-a-journey @my-space-and-all-within @taikatalvittu @scarsoftheshatteredsky @hatant @hootsforce @midnight-madonna @a-pyre-of-doom @coldestcaress @demonindistress if you want to 😊
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Okay so I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now but I was far too nervous and didn’t want to offend anyone. But, that being said, can I ask why you choose to indulge in RPF? I personally find it super strange, invasive and (maybe this is a stretch) but also low-key dehumanising?
Idk what word to use here and how to eloquently word this but definitely feels like RPF plays into the fetishisation and the ‘disconnect’ of celebrities from people who indulge in it. Like, by writing RPF you’re writing your own version of that person (some people try and stay accurate whilst others invent whole new personalities after) but you don’t know them, not entirely, and for writers to (understandably) fill in the gaps with whatever they like and create fics seems a little disrespectful and voyeuristic, esp because you’re using very real people to fill in the majority of the sexy (or just generally desired) ‘character bar’ whilst headcanoning the rest and publishing it.
Idk, I personally find it kinda disrespectful as to how real human beings are just used almost as props to serve and fulfill a handful of people’s fantasies/desires. At least with fictional characters, it’s not that big a deal if you headcanon, fill in the personality gaps or go ooc because they are fictional. But for RPF, the real people are often treated as jumping off points for whatever build-a-bearfantasy writers have in mind (younger writers/readers are far more likely to do this but I believe it’s a widespread phenomenon amongst everyone who indulges in it)
And I know the people involved are likely never going to read it but it still doesn’t mean they haven’t been disregarded/disrespected as a person already. I’ve personally never liked RPF, writing or reading, but I know some people like it - I just don’t know why?? I know one argument I’ve heard is that celebs are in the public eye and so, they can rightfully be objectified/sexualised by their fanbase, which yes kinda makes sense but idk if it merits/justifies using the shell of the celebrity to fulfill the kinks of everyone in their fanbase.
I’m not sure how much sense I’ve made here. I’m pretty sure I’ve repeated myself the entire time lol but I am curious to what your answer would be. Full disclaimer - it is not my intention to shame you or anyone else - I just want to understand your thought process because it is wildly different to mine and for the most part I like/vibe with this blog a lot because your attitude towards celebs and celeb gossip is so refreshing. When I saw all the joshlie/swiftwyn fics I was a bit lost and further lost when people started actively thirsting, hence the reason behind this ask. Sorry this was so long ✌🏼
Okay so I have a lot of Thoughts™️ on this tbh. Now backstory: I was SUPER pearl clutchy about RPF for like actual years. I somehow missed the After phenomenon in terms of the books, but when the film deal came through I was properly scandalized. I was like, “Good grief imagine being Harry and you’re the basis for a whole ass abusive boyfriend character like what the actual fuck is wrong with these people!?” And then I did more thinking about it especially as I watched the sheer commercial success of this shitshow.
Now I’m very like theoretically anti capitalism but I’m also a very pragmatic person whose primary love is and always has been and always will be the entertainment industry so we do have to look at what makes money because this shit’s not charity. And what the runaway success of After taught me is... RPF makes money. Like BIG money.
So then I had to relax on the pearl clutching and start asking myself why that is. Why are people into this shit? Well, celebs market themselves as 1) a brand and 2) sexual beings. You’re supposed to want them. That’s how they’re being sold to you. Harry’s not posing fucking stark naked in the Fine Line insert art for his health. Taylor’s not posting National Sock Appreciation Day for you to appreciate her socks. Like these are sexual beings and they’re being marketed to us as sexual fantasy. That’s part of why we’re buying their shit.
Let’s go back to the ‘celebs market themselves as a brand’ - if you look at people inspiring RPF it’s hardly ever people who are like... freaky private. Nobody’s putting out Saoirse Ronan RPF because tbh the average person, even an average fan of hers, doesn’t really know anything about her. She avoids socials and she doesn’t take too much press and she sorta just does her thing. People like Harry and Taylor and tbh Karlie market their personalities. They’re selling a whole package - not just a talented professional, not just a hot person, but a whole ass person who you’re supposed to buy into while also being y’know turned on by them per my previous points.
So here we get into the RPF of it all. Realistically, these people are going to inspire fantasies. They’re trying to do that. And they’re also selling and marketing their relationships and personalities. Again, this is not an accident, this is a purposeful commercial push.
With that in mind, what’s so wrong about imagining scenarios that they’re kinda like... trying to concoct for us already? Taylor’s been singing about her sex life non stop since 2017. She’s told us these songs are about Joe. Joe’s a public figure who also takes interviews and markets his personality. Is it, therefore, wrong to imagine what that sex is like if they’re both hot and making money off of us? Is she not lowkey trying to get us to do that when she’s, like I say, singing about sex with him on main since 2017?
Now with RPF what we need to remember is this is purely fantasy. It isn’t real, and it’s not like... canon. I’m also not into like AU RPF personally like I don’t really have much imagination for like RPF crackships lmao but I’m also not going to get all huffy over it. For me, if celebrities sell shit using their relationship - as Taylor absolutely fucking does - and sell themselves as sexual and desirable - as Taylor absolutely fucking does - there’s nothing that wrong with fantasizing about what that is like.
It’s obviously not real. It shouldn’t be treated as real. But as an exercise in imagination, I don’t see what’s so wrong with it.
Also many of us have fantasies all the time even if we don’t write and publish them. We have sex dreams and weird fantasies about people we know/crushes and of course we fantasize about celebs. I think putting that down in formal words isn’t worth getting all up in arms about. I think it’s just having a bit of fun.
Finally, back to After: this is a HUGE commercial market. We can see that. And like I don’t see it as that unethical when I examine it closely because these people are also making money off of it. It’s like we can say “oh celeb gossip is so terrible” but it makes the people involved huge money. And considering at the end of the day entertainment shit does come down to the bottom line... ehhhh I’m okay with it.
Hope this kinda gives my take and it’s a conversation I’m very interested in so if y’all would like to keep having with takes and countertakes I’m all for it.
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