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suffarustuffaru · 5 months

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Hey, how are you doing? Firstly, i'll understand if you choose not to answer this ask since the subject is controversial and kinda heavy

We currently have at least two pedos in the story, like, actual pedos (the guy obsessed with Liliana and the creepy butler that i forgot the name) and then tappei's writing in some things is just... weird?

I get that subaru and beatrice are supposed to have a sibling relationship, but it just weirds me out

And he keeps adding loli characters with questionable designs too

What is your opinion on this? Its something i manage to ignore, but it still weird me out a little

hi anon!! :o thanks for asking how im doing pfft im doing pretty well - though i am a college student and its This Time of Year (end of semester) so im hanging in here lmao 👍

also ok as for the topic at hand!! yeah no i 100% hate it. ive been thinking about rezeros flaws lately because the further you get into watching/reading rezero the Clearer it gets. its mostly fine at say, arc 1, but by the time you get to arc 5 or arc 8 its like. What the hell. This again?? so yeah its 100% understandable to be weirded out and uncomfortable by it because tappeis writing is frankly Gross sometimes.

(okay also yes this ask has minor or major arc 5+ spoilers yes and also. You know. detailed discussion regarding rezero sexualizing children.)

yeah so tappei writes problematic things into rezero regarding both women and children especially, and while theres exceptions its like. very Prevalent in rezero. i talked about it a bit in my last ask if youd like to check that out!! but yeah like. i hate how children are treated in rezero. its very Problematic a lot of the time.

tappeis writing follows very similar patterns regarding treatment of children and women that you see in a Lot of other anime/manga/japanese media - and media in general, really, but im sure most anime watchers / manga readers will know what im talking about because its unfortunately That common. we're all seen this. like fan service shots, lolis and shotas, etc etc. but rezero is a little more insidious i think, just because tappei is capable of writing good characters regardless of age or gender. and theres Less of stuff like fan service - or at least rezero is a little less obvious about it or its just seen less in rezero, but thats also because media in general is so in your face about it and Unfortunately Common so rezero looks like a tiny bit of paradise in the middle of a barren desert.

i mean look at the amount of people who've thought rezero was a harem anime until they watched rezero - rezero seems like an outlier but thats only because its just a tiny bit less gratuitous and it still has a lot of good writing. and also because i am pretty sure the bar for media like this - especially media in rezeros genre (isekai) is Extremely Low. like depressingly low. and despite rezero being a deconstruction of isekai, rezero also contradicts its own damn messages sometimes about treating others like the People they are, respecting others Personhood, treating women well, etc. and its easy to see that the moment you look at some of otsuka's artwork and designs for rezero or if you look at all the rezero merch mainly based around the girls and Sexualizing the girls and its like. my god this is a little depressing to look at. rezero is just a tiny step in the right direction away from say, misogynist shounen/seinen media thats also weird about kids or something, but then rezero trips and falls on its own face after taking several right moves.

the problem is that these problematic aspects are still there, theyre still clear to see if youre paying attention, and often character arcs start well but then fall flat despite the good foundation. and then the problematic aspects hammer the already Poor/Inconsistent Writing into the ground which it makes it Even Worse.

like louis is a great character. shes fascinating, really. and then you hit arc 7 and she regresses immediately into the mind of a toddler so we only get to see her amnesiabaru/Suffering From Rbd arc in arc 6, her confrontation with subaru, and then BAM its arc 7 time and now she is an entirely different person????? i remember raging the further i got into arc 7/8 and realizing she hasnt gotten any development, she just changed instantly. it just feels lazy to me!! unless tappei proves me wrong and writes her developing but right now louis has spent two goddamn arcs being subaru and rems loli prop/daughter prop/a plot device to use in battle, basically. okay sorry i got passionate there but i SWEAR it gets on my nerves a bit. the louis/spica conflict now would feel so much more thrilling if she didnt have her weird half assed arc 7 development.

like if i was really in the fantasy world, of course i wouldnt vote to kill spica, shes innocent now. she doesnt know shit about her crimes, shes a whole other person now. she didnt do those things. she is an innocent child. i did a poll on this a while back actually haah and yeah a lot of rz tumblr, including myself, voted to let her live for this reason!! but also like. narratively speaking. i do not care about spica at all. shes a blank slate, shes just there to move the plot, she is taking up space in the plot right now and she does not need to be here forever. i 1000% want her dead hah. yeah shes this cute little kid now, but again, she got zero development. why should i care about her?? all the interesting things about her in arc 6, all the potential that couldve happened out of her gradually going from her arc 6 self to someone who genuinely cares about rem and subaru is gone. If we actually saw this change, personally id care more about spica and be invested in her character but as it stands im really Not. and i think if we saw her actually Develop a lot of us readers would be more invested to see this conflict out - not only because our Favs are fighting over it, but also because we’d actually care about spica. Like. im not sure how many people actually care about louis past arc 6, but yeah thats just my personal thoughts on it.

And also the Other big flaw with louis’s character is tappei once again being creepy regarding kids and. Okay im gonna show an excerpt from the arc 6 WN (iirc ch60 to be exact?) and yeah fair warning because it is once again sexualizing a child (louis). But also im putting it here in case anyone wants to see some vivid proof of rezero being weird about kids. Im not sure if this was cut from the LN version or not but the fact that it exists At All makes me want to put tappei on a watchlist.

And okay i know you might be thinking about how louis represents the sin of gluttony anyway and gluttony includes sexual or romantic desire too and how having louis, who looks like a child, say this makes it even more Offputting - like. Yeah. but is it Necessary? because making louis, WHO LOOKS LIKE A CHILD, say all this and then use descriptors like “expressed a bewitching smile unsuited to her age” - is this Actually necessary? You have to be careful writing this sort of thing, because a child/character who looks like a child saying things like this due to being, you know, Mentally Unwell, is different from Emphasizing What Theyre Saying By Sexualizing Them via the narration and descriptions. And why is the sexologist line there?? its just frankly uncomfortable, to an unnecessary extent, i think. I just dont think we need all this emphasis on louis’s body, louis’s apparent “arousal”, or how her smile is “unsuited to her age” (this is the narrative once again sexualizing a child), and plot-related sex/sexual content in rezero is kept to a minimum anyway so you could also literally just have louis be weird about “loving subaru” without the sexual aspect. Because she literally just said that she was aroused by him. she looks like shes twelve at most and then in the arc immediately after this one she regresses back to having the mentality of a toddler!!! and then shes subaru’s daughter there.

And again, i know that the whole point of this scene is to be off-putting and disturbing and wrong in all sorts of ways (and also subaru tries to kill louis a page later so like.) but i think if youre going to keep the appetite=sexual desire detail (which IS a good point about gluttonys nature, on its own), then this scene absolutely needed to be handled better than what we got when the character saying this is a child. you can write a child sexualizing herself because shes frankly Unwell or Doesnt Know Better, because this is fiction and you can write sensitive topics like this with proper care, but if you, the author, are sexualizing this child, then that is a Whole Other Thing.

or you can entirely dodge this whole debate over whether or not this is actually okay to write by making louis look older. but tappei went with this route once again in a sea of rezeros various child characters despite the fact that tappei then decides to link sexual desire to the sin of gluttony, which is a sin occupied in rezero by three children. I know ley has a very traumatic backstory, and the specific details are escaping me but iirc he was likely a slave or something along those lines, with implications that hes been abused by adults, so you could delicately handle what kind of abuse he Couldve unfortunately had to go through, and also of course roy and louis are clearly not okay in the head either, but. Once again. Children in rezero Not Being Sexualized in some way is a rarity. Unfortunately.

you see this pop up again and again and again. petra? Yeah iirc theres a side story where shes weird about subarus underwear. Correct me if im wrong on that but also i would not be surprised if that was a real side story. Unfortunately. Also theres Uncomfortable lines regarding petras chest.

according to rezero wiki, schult is… well iirc al makes creepy comments about schult being a shota (and of course this isnt really called out in canon), and theres also these two details about schult:

also regarding sin archbishops who look very young, capella represents lust and yet she also looks like a child. i know the point of her design is to make her a bit grotesque, but you can get that point across without making her look fifteen years old at most. this is the sin of lust too. and shes already called “Mama” in canon—she doesnt need to look that young!!**

also side note about pandora. she also looks like a child, which—its okay with her, except for the frankly lazy outfit design imo?? why is she wearing a bedsheet??**

** another edit: its easy to see capella and pandora as women also, but again, tappei and otsuka In General keep mixing up short/young women and Children and it should be easy to tell if pandora and capella are children or young women or not. but i dont feel that its clear enough given tappei and otsuka’s Track Record.

and typhons design with the see through skirt is so creepy and disturbing that im Really glad the anime fixes it most of the time. heres the fixed version:

but also the anime Really doesnt fix it as much as it probably should, because her dress is Still see-through in some shots. you can even see a bit in this shot—we dont need to see her lower body area like That!! this skirt doesnt need to be see-through!! and the bar was already in hell anyway because otsuka makes typhon’s skirt Really see-through.

theres also this photo of typhons design and its Way better without that see-through skirt.

granted, there is some good child character designs—felt’s arc 1 design frankly sucks though purely because of the way her outfit is handled. like its Really bad. it takes only like one look to see that. but her arc 5 design is a Huge Improvement:

characters like meili, schult, child subaru, etc have good designs too, but you know, this doesnt change the Creepiness regarding children, because this also applies to subaru and Some Lines about him in arc 8 iirc. if i find them again ill talk about it another time (or if someone else finds it feel free to add on to this post?) but yeah just. urgh.

regarding felt again, theres a scene in a felt camp side story where she wakes up naked in bed, post arc 1, after reinhard kidnaps her to his mansion. and yeah, the whole point of the scene is to show reinhard is kind of dense and bad at reading social cues because hes still trying to talk to her very civilly while shes covering herself with the bedsheets and she Literally just got kidnapped by him, but, say it with me, she doesnt need to be naked. she couldve woken up in bed in her usual clothes and the point still wouldve come across!! WHY is she naked??? shes fourteen.

and also like capella, liliana looks like a child. and of course theres kiritaka, as anon said, whos obsessed with liliana, and then theres clind, the creepy butler. and of course tappei has “deniability” because lilianas not Really a child (she STILL looks like one), and clinds not Really a pedophile, he just likes youthful souls!! (this is literally disgusting.) and clind may have interesting lore or whatever about how hes kind of involved with the sin archbishop of melancholy but i just dont give a shit about him when hes a pedophile that tappei keeps excusing.

also mimi? mimi is a Special Case.

the thing with mimi and her brothers is that its implied in the kararagi girl and cats eye side stories that kittypersons (??) are fully grown by age 1. theyre rescued from dying on the streets but they insist theyre “fully grown” (at age 2-3). they havent changed physically at all. and they dont change physically at all later, because now in the Present Day they all look Exactly the same as they did when they were 1, 2, 3 years old. did they grow mentally???? theyre like 14-15 in the main route. and then you look at aganau route from the lost in memories mobile game which takes place around twenty (??) years after arc 3, and mimi is a grown woman and she looks exactly the same as she did when she was 14 or 2 years old. and then this makes her romance with garfiel a little weird because hes a normal fourteen year old??? but mimis been fully grown all this time??? what??

this is mimi. yeah, she and her brothers look EXACTLY this age their WHOLE LIVES.

and meili? yeah shes definitely one of the better child characters, though she does have an Extremely Traumatic backstory and has had a habit of copying elsa. this on its own is fine and understandable. elsa was her only support and shes a child, of course shes gonna copy elsa. though iirc she also copies elsa’s “flirtatious” aspects, which is honestly also understandable given elsa is a Questionable Influence, but this detail about meili’s character gets worse when you think about it in the context of all the other child characters—

why is it that all the children tappei (and otsuka) keep sexualizing are in the same age range? theyre about 9 or 10 to 14. louis stops being sexualized when she reverts to being a toddler and becomes subarus daughter. felt stops being sexualized when she turns 15 in arc 5. emilia is the main love interest to subaru and shes apparently “mentally 14”?? and shes tappeis favorite character too? but also mimis case is so weird because shes been “fully grown” since the tender age of ONE YEARS OLD?? well also i sure hope im wrong on this point but given the amount of child characters that fall in this age range and also how Often theyre all sexualized and also the majority of them are Young Girls—yeah its. its not a great look.

(and again a side note about meili again—tappei uses similar descriptors that he used for louis: that its “inappropriate for her age” and that she’ll “attract many men in the future”. tappei stfu. please.)

subaru’s lolimancer title is kind of funny. maybe. until you remember rezero being creepy about kids. and also like—i dont like the idea of tying a word like “loli” to the literal main character of the story anyway skdnd. theres just Connotations to it.**

**EDIT: i was told that “loli” is apparently a fan translation thing, while in japanese its “little girl user”, but in an inoffensive way (like Jojo’s “stand user”). make of that what you will!! (not great that the fan translation makes rezeros already poor treatment of kids Even Worse.)

and also—was subaru, al, medium, etc turning into children really necessary?

like in subarus case, its so he can have more ego, more confidence, more recklessness while being nerfed a bit and being mistaken as the emperor’s son—but at the same time, this just feels like a watered down version of the amnesiabaru arc to me where he has more ego, more confidence, more recklessness, and hes nerfed, but then he learns to love himself more. it just feels too similar to the amnesiabaru arc imo. him turning into a child feels very unnecessary imo and it doesnt look great when you remember tappei and otsuka’s fixation on children. literally arc 8 would be exactly or almost exactly the same if subaru was back to his usual 18/19-year old self. but he has to keep being a kid right now because Plot, apparently. then again if anyone disagrees with me on this feel free to explain your stance!! but yeah as of rn i just want subaru to be back to his usual age.

also tappeis weird about young priscilla/prisca and lamia but i havent read the ex novels about them yet so i cannot go in depth 👍 but just know you get nice lovely lines (sarcasm) like “flirty way she caresses her own thighs”. great!!! thanks tappei for fanservicing underage teenage girls once again!!

and again, treatment of child characters / characters who look younger than they are in rezero—this is so so creepy also as someone who does in fact look younger than my age. and im also Very Short (4’11) too. so like. thanks tappei and otsuka!! i feel very comfortable right now 👍

and women are often infantilized in rezero which you can. Easily connect to the pedophilia, yeah. theres also age gap romances in general, and i mentioned emilia already (yeah. emisuba is an age gap romance.), but theres also ram and roswaal, frederica and clind, anastasia iirc gets described Weirdly sometimes because shes a short flat-chested woman, and recently theres been madeline and balleroy having a small moment (that feels. Romance coded. iirc.) in an arc 8 chapter.

they look like this by the way:

thanks tappei and otsuka once again for the creepy writing and designs that actively work against all the good parts of the damn story 👍

on a lighter note, i think beatrice in general + beatrice and subarus relationship is one of the better parts of rezero—iirc theres nothing creepy about it, and beatrice and subaru are very easy to read as a sister and brother relationship. theyve helped each other out in many ways, and theyve grown Very close by the time we see them in arc 5!! you could. Technically see their relationship as a father-daughter one too, but i dislike that take—not for bad reasons, but just because i feel like it doesnt fit them.

the thing with beatrice though is that shes simultaneously A Child but shes also like. 400 years old. so i do wish the narrative balanced that more post-arc 4–not in a creepy way of course. god no. but in the sense that shes mature in a lot of ways!! shes familiar with death and suffering!! shes intimately known Isolation!! that sort of thing. shes the one whos closest to subaru because of how he helped her in arc 4 (“choose me”), and also because she knows about his self-harm and heals his injuries. shes someone who can deeply understand subaru in a lot of ways in this sense, at least. the way they support each other feels more like a sibling bond to me and not a Parent-Child one just because youre not Really supposed to be leaning this much on your child for support. theres a power dynamic to a Parent-Child relationship, and beatrice and subaru are Equals.

plus echidna gaslight gatekeep girlbossed both of them, so theyre also siblings in that sense hah…

but yeah correct me if im wrong on that though regarding beatrice and subaru and im missing something?? but yeah as far as i remember and as far as i can tell, i think theyre actually one of the least creepy parts of rezero hah :,)

and then because this sort of thing is Unfortunately so common in media like rezero, we’re kind of conditioned to try and ignore it so we can keep reading or watching because its Everywhere. i still enjoy some of rezero, but its hard to ignore All Of This. and i think its important not to turn your brain off to it and recognize whats Wrong here, yeah. (unless it makes you so uncomfortable that you have to stop looking at rezero, which is very understandable.)

but yep. thats rezero for you.

#rezero #re:zero #ask #tw pedophila mention #tldr rezeros treatment of kids is Horrible and i hate it 😔#like so many of these characters would be so good without the problematic aspects!!#you can write sensitive topics like this but you cannot be Supporting them as you do that!!

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devildom-moss · 8 months

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Since you menioned Simeon and Barbatos in the same sentence, its my time to rant about how much i love Simbarb!!

I AM LITERALLY ON MY KNEES FOR THAT SHIP. EVERY SCRAP OF SIMBARB CONTENT I CAN FIND, I WILL DEVOUR IT LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW. DOESNT MATTER IF ITS FLUFF, ANGST, OR HECK EVEN SMUT. I LIVE FOR SIMBARB. THERES NOTHING ELSE THAT WILL SATISFY ME MORE THAN SIMBARB. LIKE THE SHIP IS JUST PERFECT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. AND BOTH BARBATOS AND SIMEON ARE PERFECT AS WELL. I WANT TO LIKE, SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF THE TWO OF THEM, AFFECTIONATELY.

I think i went a little off course.. oh and i read this simbarb fanfiction once and now ive created a whole au with lore and backstory with Simeon and someone else (which can technically be MC but the actual MC also exists in this au). And i really wanna talk about it to someone, but there's no one who wants to listen, but you're now back, and im happy so maybe ill talk about it to you if youre interested!

Anyways have a nice day! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <33

Sincerely, 💜

You are so right for this. Those two are not only my favorites, but they are probably my favorite ship (I don't know if I've made that clear in my writing, but I feel like there have at least been hints). We are on the same boat here (I apologize for the pun, but I'm sending it out into the world anyway). I am right there with you. They are precious individually and together. I generally am not a touchy/hugging person, so I wouldn't want to squeeze them, but I would make them a delicious bowl of soup, give them pats on the head, and tell them that they're both good boys.

Especially as a fellow SimBarb lover, you are welcome talk about your AU here! Also, in general, I love reading about how people view character relationships (romantic, platonic - in any form, really).

While I'm here, I would like to fuel the SimBarb love with a few thoughts of my own it won't be too much because I'm going to head to bed soon, so my brain is in wind down mode.

Okay, so I lied to myself about the "a few" and rambled for 10 bullet points, so more under the cut:

Canonically, Barbatos and Simeon just often find themselves on outings together. Barbatos phrases it like it's unintentional; it just happens; they just have accidental dates. Well, considering that Barbatos seems to always have good luck, maybe there's a reason he keeps finding himself on outings with Simeon. Wouldn't it be lucky if he happened to run into a certain handsome angel while he was out?

I think it took Simeon longer to realize he liked being around Barbatos than it took Barbatos to notice how much he enjoyed spending time with Simeon. Simeon probably used Luke as a kind of affection proxy for a long time. A lot of "Luke really likes Barbatos," and "Barbatos is so sweet to Luke. It really warms my heart." Really? Is it just Luke who likes Barbatos?

They probably pick up groceries a lot together, and they both like to menu plan as they browse the markets, so they end up taking ideas from each other. Sometimes they'll plan to cook the same dish on the same night. It makes them kind of giddy. Even though they don't share meals often, when they cook the same thing on the same night, it almost feels like they're getting to eat together.

Whenever Luke goes to Barbatos for cooking/baking lessons, Barbatos tries to ensure they have leftovers for Luke to take back to Simeon. Additionally, Barbatos is especially motivated to help the final product turn out good (outside of just wanting Luke to learn and succeed) because he knows it's a reflection of his own skills and he wants to impress Simeon.

Also, I could see Barbatos sending Luke back home with two bouquets of flowers (especially edible flowers and sometimes herbs) from his garden. One is for Luke, but the other one, Barbatos will casually suggest that Luke "give it to Simeon, if you'd like."

These two both love taking care of others. Can you imagine how often they just try to out-spoil the other? I think it would occasionally end up in arguments that are basically just "sit down, and let me take care of you for a change."

Barbatos would be the least comfortable being taken care of because he's a demon. Being doted on by an angel. That's weird, right? He feels incredibly unworthy.

These two could flirt back and forth so well.

Barbatos would get extremely flustered if Diavolo commented on how wonderful it is to see a respectable demon such as Barbatos and a regarded angel like Simeon getting along so well, and that it gives him hope for the future between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm.

This is kind of angsty, and I don't remember if Barbatos and Simeon actually met before the war, but I have this thought (maybe a future story idea if I decide to lean into ships or something) that while Diavolo was enamored with Lucifer, Barbatos took a liking to Simeon. Actually, it was initially just an interest in the angel whose cooking skills could almost compare with his own. Then he realized how similar they were and how well they would get along. I just imagine younger Barbatos thinking hoping that when the war came around, Simeon would fall with Lucifer. Selfishly, he wanted the opportunity to even just be around Simeon. When that didn't happen, Barbatos was silently crushed but he carried on. He held his excitement the entire time when he first heard that Simeon would be one of the exchange students, and he was even more delighted when Simeon treated him with kindness.

#💜 anon #ask #replies #barbatos #simeon #anon #obey me #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #what? I'm posting just ship content? unheard of.

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r4bidcherry · 3 months

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had a shower thought that turned into a shower rant so

heres my explanation on why next season (if we get one) having even more queer rep wouldnt be "too much" (this is mostly for like td reddit and twitter cause i know the fandom here wouldnt complain about having more queer rep lol)

(also realized in the middle of writing i drop a lot of hot takes and controversial opinions so uh oopsies)

firstly, the main one we all know, mkulia. they have a lot of chemistry already, hell even more chemistry than most of the straight relationships have had ik terry has joked about it a lot but seriously. and not to talk about queer discourse here but theres this idea that lesbians somehow have it easier to get queer rep, which im pretty sure most of us agree that isnt true lol, and the fact that so many people already think that rajbow is enough and that lesbians just need to stop complaining is pretty gross to see and kinda proves that thats not true lmao, especially all the stuff that terry is saying on twitter and im glad to see that im not the only one that thinks thats weird as hell. honestly most of the time i wouldnt care if i ship i like was made canon or not, however mkulia being canon would be the thing that rajbow shippers love to brag about rajbow being which is a big step foward. ive already made it pretty clear how i dont think rajbow is some godsend that absolves freshtv of all of their homophobic wrongdoings, however my opinion could very well change if we got mkulia because it would actually show me that they actually care about queer rep and didnt just add it in for brownie points. ik ive been sucking mkulias dick but seriously it IS important

secondly, there are like a buttload of straight ships in total drama, like probably even more than the average tv show considering all the characters and the fact its focused on, yknow, drama, having like 3 queer relationships out of like the 40 straight relationships is farrrr from being "too much". weve had even more in the reboot too like chemma, ripaxel, priyleb, we could have some more variety to even it out a bit

thirdly, the reboot is set in the present day. queer relationships are way more common than they were back then and honestly having mkulia and hell even maybe another queer relationship wouldnt be so out there crazy

but also if we dont get mkulia and/or another queer relationship itll be disappointing but honestly it isnt anything to like attack anyone over lol trust me. however it will be my conformation that freshtv doesnt deserve as much praise as theyre getting for giving us the bare minimum lol

#total drama #total drama 2023

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traegorn · 1 year

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hi! i want to be clear that i mean no disrespect in asking this. as someone who knows the history of wicca, how it was created in the 50s and has largely appropriated other pagan traditions etc, ive always wondered why people still find it compelling? in a more answerable format, why do you choose to be wiccan over a different pagan tradition that doesn't have that history as its baseline? i know theres no easy answer to this and the question likely sounds ruder than i mean it to. for context im part of two of the cultures wiccans have taken a huge chunk of practices from, as well as being trans (i know you are too which is why i mention it) and the extremely binary gendered "god and goddess", "divine feminine and masculine energy" stuff makes me uncomfortable. in researching, it seems like a lot of the cultural appropriation aspects of it were added by early practitioners in the 60s and 70s, but that still makes it deeply ingrained in the religion. i genuinely want to be more understanding and compassionate, and since you are pretty involved in the wiccan community specifically like answering questions and stuff i wanted your perspective. sorry if this is uncalled for in any way.

There's a lot here, and I don't necessarily agree with the way everything in the ask is framed (and I never like comments about "appropriation" without going into specifics because that can mean many things) -- but I can tell you're asking in good faith, so I'll do my best.

I'm not going to dig into my relationship with the god and goddess as a nonbinary Wiccan because I've answered it so many times before. I've done a whole podcast episode on it, so that's out there if you want to know what my feelings are on the topic. You're asking me how I found faith in a religion that's less than a century old though.

And the answer is... because it's what I believe in?

I mean, you're asking me to explain faith. My personal journey (which, uh, I've also gone into detail with in another podcast episode) was one where I started with what I believed in and found something that asked the question I already felt I'd answered? I don't know if that makes any sense.

It's never been about Wicca being ancient (though I certainly came up in an era where that was still a very common belief in the community), but what I found in it. We fetishize practices and traditions being ancient in a really unhealthy way. Something being older doesn't make it inherently more authentic or real, but time and time again people fall into this trap.

Early Wiccans fell face first into this one, and even though the truth eventually came to light about it, the rest of the neopagan community never really moved past it. Like how many "Celtic Shamans" are out there pretending they're doing something ancient still? To a lesser note, think about how many Norse Heathens don't admit a good chunk of what they practice is reconstruction.

You ask "Why do you choose to be wiccan over a different pagan tradition that doesn't have that history as its baseline?" And I ask, as a white Midwesterner with no cultural connection to those other traditions -- how would it be any better if I laid claim to those either? Not to mention that it's not what I believe. My conception of divinity isn't an outfit I can change. I can't just say "Okay, I believe in [X God]" the next day out of nowhere.

A person's faith isn't hot-swappable.

I don't know if I fully answered what you asked, but that's what I've got this random Monday morning.

#witchblr #witch #witchcraft #wicca #wiccan #wiccablr #pagan #neopagan

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staarry-skies · 1 year

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gonna be insane abt usamamo for a second im so sorry esp to my moots who do not care about sailor moon my heart goes out to you

read more bc this is so much longer than was intended

i see a lot of the same "theyre only in love because of fate/their superhero alter egos/their past" takes A Lot (to be fair its usually directed at the 90s anime, to which i do agree n understand, however ive also seen it directed at the manga which is why im talking abt it) and i just Do Not Agree, so im gonna talk abt it in a twt thread bc im insane and twt is my outlet for my insanity. (this was originally written for twt but got too long oops.)

starting with the whole "theyre only dating because of past lives" because its the easiest to debunk, its just flat out not true. mamoru n usagi never really got the chance to officially get to together pre-past lives reveal in the manga but its pretty damn clear they were going to, probably the next time they met as civilians and swapped their different keepsakes that they have from each other.

theres also the whole "oh well their feelings are remnants of silmil" which i think takes away a lot of their agency as characters and also just isnt true and is also pretty easily disprovable, usagi likes mamoru for being there for her and supporting her when she needs it, and mamoru likes usagi for being this incredibly strong heroine but also being a normal cheery girl all at the same time.

which leads me to the next point! "they only like each other because of their alter egos", two rebuttals here, they dont exactly stop being tuxedo mask/sailor moon just because theyre out of costume that is still them but i do see why this is a popular criticism. my other thing is that its definitely not true for mamoru, whos usually the one criticized for not truly liking the Real Usagi™️ and only liking her for sailor moon (or serenity but we just went over that and funnily enough this criticism should be directed more to usagi but we'll get into that later).

for this lets go back to why mamoru loves usagi, according to earlier in this post i claimed it was because of the dichotomy between her and sailor moon, the crime fighting warrior, and usagi the happy-go-lucky school girl who always brings a smile to everyones face, thus showing that he loves /all/ of her not just one side over the other.

but me saying so isnt really enough so lets hear it from the boy in question: "its true... for a long time the crystal was the only thing i wanted... but now when i see her... angry one moment then laughing the next... the crystal? no thats not what i really want... usako youre what i want" - (crystal ep 7) so... yeah thats pretty cut and dry, oh yeah nows also a good time to mention that ill be pulling stuff from crystal too because of the nature of crystal having been more closely supervised by naoko and being a stricter manga adaptation, any scenes it adds are retroactively canon to the mangaverse (at least to me, but if youre looking for a similar line from the manga: "youre strong today sailor moon, everyday i feel like im seeing a different side to you, is there other versions of you ive yet to meet? i want to know everything, who are you really?" - (chapter 8) same idea as the crystal quote just a lot more vague lol)

also this is reflected in more than just words, its actions too, tuxedo mask is a lot more closed off towards sailor moon earlier on and its not until chapter 4 that he starts being a lot more openly caring and affectionate, and you wanna know what happens in chapter 4? he finds out sailor moon is usagi, and it doesnt take a lot of media literacy to put two and two together to figure out why that shift happens there.

now for usagi, remember when i said the whole "liking the alter-egos" criticism applies to her more but is never directed at her? well heres why, we never really see her civilian relationship with mamoru develop much on her end before the reveal, she is of course attracted to mamoru but on a way more superficial level (usagis pretty notorious for her immediate, but ultimately kinda surface level crushes on people: see rei).

she denies her crush but its pretty obvious she has one, for example when mako points out that usagis blushing after one of their interactions and asks about it and she insists pretty loudly that she "doesnt like him!" but never really explains the blush (earlier in the same scene when she sees mamoru she blushes and b-dmp! is written in the bg, keep in mind he hasnt done or said anything yet so its not embarrassment) and then theres chapter 3 where she recognizes that his profile sorta looks like tuxedo mask which she'd actively try to deny if she didnt like him like she says she does, so its pretty obvious she has a crush on mamoru.

but her relationship with tuxedo mask is what gets more development, she goes from that superficial crush she has on mamoru to liking him for deeper reasons than just: pretty guy! i.e. helping her, being there for her, and grounding her when she needs it. also in the same vein as her recognizing him in chapter 3 the reveal is her just recognizing him as tuxedo mask, which obviously she has to like mamoru quite a bit to do (even if the evidence was quite literally all around her) (in saying all of this i do think pgsm does a much better job at showing her genuinely falling for all of him but pgsm also skews more towards the 90s anime in terms of characterization so i wont be using that).

and finally "usamamo are only together/feel pressured to be together because of fate/chibiusa" short answer: no. long answer: noooooooooo. no but in all seriousness this flat out isnt true, if you'll remember the first 14 chapters of the manga are kinda. yk. dedicated to this. their fate isnt to "be together" their fate is to literally DIE if they dare attempt to be together again, they are together DESPITE fate, like i dont even know how else to put it because multiple characters comment on fate repeating itself when it comes to dooming usamamo, they werent reincarnated to be together they were reincarnated to be happy and live normal peaceful lives.

as for fate as in the future, thats pretty easily disprovable because its ALSO something the manga goes over, during the dream arc when mamorus suffering from nehelennias curse he starts feeling guilty and selfish for constantly being a burden on usagi to the point he asks her if she really does want a future with him, even saying that he feels horrible for potentially tying her down to a future she might not want, which yk would kinda not be a concern he would have if he was only with her for the creation of crystal tokyo (side note: nowhere does it say usamamo NEED to be together for crystal tokyo to exist, usagi could very well rule alone like queen serenity or with any other partner, its just that the current timeline has them together in ct) as for usagis response, mamoru falls asleep before he can hear it, but she says point blank that she can change the future if she wants. So. Yeah. dont really think i need to say much more than that on that front.

And the last part of the "fate saga", "theyre only together to have chibiusa" which is such a crazy and lowkey highkey misogynistic sentiment, but for arguments sake lets take a look at why its completely wrong, first off, again. "i can change the future as much as i want" - (chapter 40) she could have chibiusa by other means (for example the way queen serenity had serenity) but also, the reason they care so much about chibiusa is because she's a product of their love, they obviouly care about her as a person but they wouldnt just force themselves to be together just to have her and her alone (if that makes sense i have no idea how to phrase what im trying to say) in any case its a really gross thing to say because it insinuates a lot of really weird things!

if you made it through all that you deserve like a medal or something but thanks for listening to my silly little thoughts about my favorite couple right now

#sailor moon #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #bssm #pgsm #pretty guardian sailor moon #sera myu #sailor moon crystal #seramyu #sere shut up about usamamo #usamamo #mamousa #usagi tsukino #mamoru chiba #usagi x mamoru #mamoru x usagi #sere.txt #this was once a twt thread once upon a time #and then i just .#yeah.

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nonbinarygamzee · 8 months

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what are your thoughts on gamkar (esp as it is presented in the comic) ?

ehehehehe. well. i like dem :]

ummm um to be like #thoughtful or whatever though i always struggle to put my investment to words because i simultaneously feel like a lot of what draws me to them feels self explanatory but Also every time i think that about hs i turn out to be wrong. that sounds so mean i just have autism and 0 frame of reference lol.

but anyways for me like ive basically been invested in gamzee and by extension gamkar from the beginning. at risk of being kind of nice for once i actually think homestuck did a pretty decent job wrt the introductions of the trolls in establishing the levels of importance and especially the dynamics at play through when we see them interacting, so it always felt Important that the conversation that established gamzee and karkat as good friends was so early on. in general i dont really think hs has many transitional spots that are not being used intentionally to create subconscious association between the subjects. so by extension theres the more obvious literal conversation we have between the two of them that both establishes them as close (at least in gamzees mind) and establishes a rift in that relationship, but theres also things like the conversation gamzee and terezi have about playing the game together, that while not about karkat explicitly, kind of centers him from both ends and is literally sandwiched between the introductions of these two, which to me sets up the assumptions that their dynamic is going to hole relevance, which we end up seeing later on. dare i say that gamzee/terezi conversation even kind of ends up being the earliest nod that both of these trolls are in some way vying for karkats attention. theres like plenty more of these moments of association but im not willing to go looking atm, get back to me. good way to read the comic in general though, imo.

and like so its pretty obvious from the start then that gamkar was always going to be something, right? their personalities are written in a way that both compliment and counter each other, and theres that interest then in murderstuck when it is flipped on its head but idk if you go here i think by now it is clear i dont really agree with all of that. my interest lies in the fact that gamzee is the type of person karkat resents because to him, as somebody who both has been denied entry into society and who desperately WANTS it, even to the point of internalizing and glorifying the very oppressive violence that keeps him an outsider, gamzee has Failed. shes an addict, shes stupid, shes toothless, and above all she is weird and wholly unrelatable and karkat is simply not in the position at that stage of his life to sympathize because he is still running on the assertion that the Right way to be a troll is to conform to the expectations of the empire (and prove himself as one of the Good Ones). so when gamzee has their breakdown and all of a sudden karkat is not only unable to shove all of the responsibility he insisted upon onto another person, or ignore the fact gamzee spent all of her time haunting the meteor asking Him for help..... he does it. sort of.

this is kind of the spot where i have the most trouble articulating my thoughts because i guess they are sort of contradictory. because i think the gamkar moirallegience was not only at that point in time important to the integrity of the plot, but has always been an important part of the story in terms of culminating the themes and messaging going on. and i do stand by that, i think on top of the fact we were ROBBED, to erase that without ever addressing any of it again in the retcon is like.... a major misunderstanding of the functionality of the moment in the first place! which like yeah yeah its homestuck we should be used to that. but UGH. it undermined so much of karkats character to retcon what imo was always his peak moment of personal empowerment. everyone talks about karkat as somebody who is deeply caring despite his exterior and like... i do think that is true. but the story simply is Worse from then on having stripped him of the pivitol moment that truly defined that trait as vital to him, and i think it frankly has no small part in why karkat feels like less than a character by the end. that said i dont really think it was a "good" relationship. just not for any of the reasons anyone ever seems to say. so many conversations i see wrt gamkar is people talking about loving it but not the "toxic way it went down in canon", or calling it like mutually abusive, or just in general making karkat out to be some kind of victim of his ex when like......... thats all kind of just completely made up? for starters not that i dont Get it and not that i think it means he was being entirely disingenuous, but from the very beginning karkats establishment of their quadrant was done in a way that centered the people around them, not gamzee. and i say not gamzee exclusively because i think aside from the obvious of keeping their friends safe, karkat was also centering himself; we know the Point of moirallegiance is to keep an unpredictable party "in check", and that is what he did, but i can both understand the functionality of the relationship marker in the context of the universe And understand that to be a means of subjugation of the trolls involved. and karkat, being both obsessed with romance and holding a deep feeling of inferiority, of COURSE would look at this as an opportunity to prove he can live up to that expectation of pacification. we get his side of the story when things fizzle out, gamzees religion apparently becoming such a frontal obsession she doesnt pay him any mind, but we dont get to hear anything from the party whos not only being mind controlled, but also has to approach this dynamic with the knowledge it wasnt for her and that karkat continued to covet terezi "in every quadrant" (LOL!!!!!) when he wasnt openly mocking them. and well i just think that is very interesting. karkat is in a powerful position, narratively, that gamzee is never ever granted, that gives him the benefit of the doubt from the audience that he is right and she is wrong, even though we know that hes like... literally always wrong!!! i am not about to start trusting him NOW!!!

um ok this god long sorry. basically i think they are extremely complimentary to one anothers stories and flaws; karkat desperately needs to see and understand people that vary from the expectations he has grown up chasing. he needs somebody who understands what it is like not to meet those expectations. he needs a reason to choose growth or else he fizzles into the disgusting excuse for a character we have of him by the end! gamzee by contrast needs to be seen by somebody who is both in the position to treat her like a person, who holds power in this narrative they are all trapped within to Grant her the choice of depth. where he needs a reason to grow she needs somebody willing to grow to meet her where she is! you cannot pull somebody from their abuse but you must be willing to understand their reasonings and have a hand at the ready for the day they choose to go! ive never understood the debates surrounding gamzees agency because we are shown explicitly the ways it is denied, and shown her awareness to the fact she is trapped, the fact she is a character and the narrative cannot be upheld without her roles; karkats ability to "help" her to me was never as much a question about whether he could literally get her out of that, but whether he could act as the lens through which people understand gamzees situation As one of coercion. they are utena anthy forever ok im done

#this feels a bit all over the place sorry. been having a very hard one but love to throw myself into my little fictions to deal #ask #gamkar

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autisticbokutoenthusiast · 7 months

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ive been thinking about top nonstop for the past 24 hours and i can't help but wonder what his arc will actually look like

we're introduced to him in episode 1 as the top-tier. he's cool and confident, he's rich and hot and gets everything he wants and knows the answers to hard trivia quetions and charismatic as hell.

as the series goes on though we're introduced to other parts of him as well, that he has insomnia and has a hard time sleeping alone because he's scared of dying in his sleep alone and unloved, he won't/can't stick up for himself in various situations, he's pretty lonely, etc. he also hooks up with boston because of insecurity that mew is being genuine with him.

these things don't really negate the traits he's introduced with, he's still confident and cocky but post top/boston reveal it stops feeling cool and charismatic and starts seeming a bit desperate, and it doesn't get him whatever he wants in any given scenario anymore. I'd also say that compared to his introduction to the friendgroup, having the answers to the triva questions (i.e knowing the right things to say), following mew finding out about him having sex with boston we often see him speechless, or not speaking up for himself, especially when it comes to mew. it feels like since episode 6 at least, his smirk has been replaced with those sad puppy eyes.

now i'm one of those people that watches the show and thinks top did genuinely fall for mew and is genuine in his attempts to win him back, so i think it's interesting that the more love i see behind his actions, the less mew does.

I'd say the biggest effect on top's character is his relationship with mew/ mew's arc, because of how he agrees to change his lifestyle but also because of how he is framed. like in episode 2 top jumps in the lake to help cheum and mew notes it down as passing one of his boyfriend tests and when top jumps in to help mew in episode 9, its not received negatively but it doesn't but top immediately back in mew's good graces (actually i don't think we get mews thoughts on it at all cause he had just passed out but wtv). similarly top taking care of mew after his lasik surgery vs at the halloween party. i'd imagine that if top's interaction with mew's moms had happened pre episode 6 top would have gotten top marks from mew instead of being met with annoyance. theres probably many more instances like these but i'm starting to lose the point of this post the more i go on. (one last point is in episode 9 top is about to take some sleeping pills and decides instead to seak out human company, which could be just a way to introduce boeing to the story but i still think about it in terms of mew telling to to stop doing drugs, different drugs i know, in exchange for affection...anyway). we've seen the ways top has started to change but i don't think we've gotten as strong a sense as to where his character will go from here.

with mew we see him start out as the table holder, as the guy whose never been in a relationship but has a very clear image in his head of what it has to be like and when he finds someone who passes his tests and enters a relationship he thinks is perfect he ends up feeling betrayed and heartbroken. then we see mew lose his sense of self, enter his bad boy winning the idgaf war era and also what it takes for him to get out of it and start to come to terms with how he feels and why. we've seen who mew was introduced to us as, how he broke out of that mold, and where he may go next

boston was the hunter, who didn't do relationships because of all the drama. he becomes friends with benefits with nick and breaks his rule and starts to develop some feelings and it ultimately does lead to a lot of drama, mostly at the expense of his friendships. it seems tho that moving forward boston may re-evaluate his stance of relationships, not in favor of changing how he is necessarily but the value he places on other people and how he treats them.

ray is introduced to us the drunkard and guy with an unrequited crush. i personally will say ray is a bit different from these other characters because i think all of us ray enthusiasts clocked what layed beneath his surface almost immediately but nevertheless, he starts out as the guy who drinks too much when he goes out and gets called a burden by his friends for it, then we find out about his mother drinking herself to death, about his past suicide attempt because he feels unlovable and like he'll always be a burden, but we also see him try to move on with sand, to open up even, then get immediately roped back into his negative emotions in episode 6 when he self sabotages because self fulfilling prophecy, and we see things start to fall apart for him in episode 7/8 but pick back up in episode 9 with the prediction being the rest of his arc will revolve around dealing with his addiction and the impact that will have on his life.

i lost the plot of this post so bad someone please make coherent thoughts about this character cause clearly i can't. genuinely don't know what the point of this was supposed to be....

#only friends the series #only friends meta #top tanin #top only friends

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ziptieparty · 2 years

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i havent seen anyone alloromantic specifically talk about their experiences in aplatonicism, so i thought that more input from a different perspective could be useful?

i relatively recently (maybe 2-3 months ago) saw someone use the word "aplatonic" to describe themselves, and several things clicked into place with me, my general thought process being something like "of course theres a subset of aspec labels for platonic attraction, people feel romantic and sexual attraction separately so obviously theres a platonic side to." and i left it at that for awhile but something about it stuck with me.

i suppose ill start at the beginning,

when i was a kid i was mainly friends with boys, and for awhile i attributed this to being trans and just relating more to male peers. i do still believe this to be a factor but now thinking back on it i realized there was a pattern to my relationships.

at one point or another, i had had crushes on almost all of them.

i realized all at once that the only reason i had even spoken to a majority of my childhood friends was because i had been romantically attracted to them at the beginning of our friendships.

now, i can anticipate some kind of argument along the lines of "thats just how crushes and friendships grow with everyone" or some such nonsense

but i can say with my whole chest that thats not what was happening.

im not very good at explaining things in a way that makes sense to most, but i will attempt to be as clear as possible.

a lot of people wanted to be my friend.

i was funny and loud and friendly to my classmates. i liked to play tag at recess and brought pokemon cards and my tamagotchi to school before they were banned. i shared the parts of my lunches i didnt want, i stood up to bullies, and sat with people that were alone.

but that was about the extent of it

i was friendly

but i was never your friend

i generally considered myself a "loner" and no matter how friendly or talkative or persistent or technically compatible my classmates were-

it never took.

i just. wanted to do what i wanted to do.

i had kids i interacted with often and i named them friends when prompted to list any, but i never actually. spoke to them? it was more like i sat next to them and we did things alongside eachother (parallel play style) and i would say little things to them like hello or good morning or maybe that i liked their shoes but i never like. discussed what i liked with them or vice versa. i couldnt tell you a thing about them beyond their names.

this pattern continued until i started to develop crushes, suddenly i was initiating contact with kids without outside factors. i sat with them and gave them the sweet parts of my food and for the first time

i asked them questions

i wanted to know if they liked the cartoons i did and who their favorite characters were, i was curious about what they liked and what they thought. their input mattered to me.

a majority of my relationships from then on followed similar patterns, i thought they were cute or funny and so i talked to them and could tolerate the connection that followed.

i didnt keep my feelings for a lot of them of course, i had no way of knowing who these people were before getting to know them but the point still stands; i had to have a crush on them first.

this wasnt always the case with my friends, sometimes when i would interact with someone the stars would align and id stay in contact somehow and id end up with a friend that didnt start with romantic feelings.

my life gets messy from my teens on and i will spare you my life story, but i ended up in a position that i only had one person i could pass off as a friend. the relationship was just like the ones from my early childhood, i just kind of existed alongside her and i couldnt really tell you anything about her.

ive never formed bonds with anyone without outside influence and the ones i did were rare or romantic at first. isolation doesnt really bother me, i dont like or need to talk to people often, my own family barely knows me and has to force my interaction

sometimes i kind of joke with my husband that id never had a real friend before because i could never tell him anything about the friends i still had when i had met him, and now i think i have the words to describe why?

im not entirely sure what i should label myself, demiplatonic fits but i feel is a disservice to the people that i was or am friends with that were faster and didnt start romantically. perhaps grayplatonic or something but im just going with aplspec for the moment.

#this post is long so i left things i experience out #i may talk about them at a later time but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#aplatonic #actually aplatonic #WHAT DO PEOPLE TAG THIS KIND OF THING?#mouthful.txt #aplspec #aspec

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radiovisual · 3 months

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are you going to come back?

((I keep telling myself im going to, but im not sure. Im especially unhappy with how this blog was written and how it looks at the moment, bc theres a lot of things id Want to change before getting back into rp here, but I have no energy or motivation to do so 😔 my art block from last year is Still ongoing, im still deeply fixated on other fandoms, and VERY recently I had an epiphany of some kind and haven't been able to stop paying attention to the news, bc anxieties about what's happening in Gaza/the West Bank, Sudan, and Chile, and not to mention this next American presidential election, have me reassessing my priorities in life, ykwim?))

((Im still around technically, i wont be deleting this blog or anything, im just in kind of a tough spot, mentally+emotionally+physically, and that makes it hard to get reinvested in something like this.))

((There's also the factor of... feeling rather restricted in this community. It's not any particular person or group of ppls fault, people are entitled to feel however they want around fictional subjects and themes, but i know that the types of things that i like to write and rp are dark and mature, and this fandom [despite the Nature of the show itself and the topics it covers] tends to attract a lot of very aggressive, very judgemental people -- as im sure youre all aware 😂 i found some friends here, but even still, a lot of the time i know i Can't get into the kind of stuff i ACTUALLY want to write, because most of the ppl in this community would [at least, way back when,] assume that That kind of writing means I'm a bad, dangerous person who wants to engage with those themes in real life 🙃. Which isn't to say anyone is Wrong for avoiding me if darker themes trigger them, by all means PLEASE block me for your sanity if thats what you have to do!! but when most all of those Exact Themes are LITERALLY, graphically present in the show, now, it's like. Idk man whats going on! Why are you here! if sexually abusive relationships bother these fans so much, then Why are they in THIS fandom of all places instead of somewhere tangibly Safer for their sanity, yk???))

(( i don't know. Maybe im just a brat, but ive always felt a little put out by the Hazbin community online. Its extremely self policing and isolating trying to find people i can feel comfortable talk to about my ideas, so ive kind of... given up and moved on, found a nice group of Freaks to be perverted about the Avatar sequel instead lmao))

((So... idk. I guess we'll see. But im very sorry it may have been wishful thinking when i said id come back. I really, truly meant it at the time -- things just changed 💔, both in me And in the community. And maybe theyll change again, idk!but i Do know there's people in this overarching Hazbin Tumblr RP community who don't like me very much (which is Okay), and I don't want to force myself to walk on eggshells anymore -- so I'm won't💪😎))

((I adored my time here while i was active, whuch it why i wont delete it -- i go back to re read threads all the time! -- but unless there's a group of sexual weirdos developing that i could fall in with AND I can find a way to balance this with the rest of my life, im still gonna be on this indefinite hiatus 💀👍 sorry))

((Btw -- Palestinians are in desperate need of e-SIMs to keep in touch with their loved ones and to organize humanitarian aid within the Gaza strip itself -- if any of you have a few spare dollars, please consider getting involved. I know the news is very quiet rn, especially if you're in America like me, but let me make this very clear; We are. kind of sort of Already IN World War Three. Russia and China and the global south are finally starting to hold the west accountable and the west is failing a shitting its pants about it Spectacularly. The world order is literally shifting. There's not one, but SEVERAL major international conflicts brewing right now, as America is sliding into fascism at break neck speed bc Genocide Joe is finally realizing he's probably not going to get re-elected [on account of all the genocide] on TOP of finally seeing the tangible effects of climate change. South America and Australia are on FIRE. Like NEVER before.))

((Never Again is Now. We could be going over the temperature "tipping point" of the planet BY 2030. now is NOT the time to be wallowing in escapism, no matter how much we desperately need/want it. If there is EVER a time to get involved with the real world and to take a step back from the internet and high stress fandom bullshit, it is NOW. No matter what Side of these issues you stand on, EVERYONE needs to be voting, everyone needs to be paying attention.))

(( if you can't afford esims [no shame, i often can't either, money is tight everywhere], then at the very least get This website open in your tabs. It generates revenue with free Daily clicks, the proceeds of which are all sent to UN organizations -- particularly UNRWA, which is VITAL to maintain not only getting aid INTO Gaza, but also retaining Palestinians legal right to return to their land -- without UNRWA, Isreal can begin to LEGALLY, haphazardly "deport" Palestinians, which would take YEARS to reverse through future court proceedings. Do your part, it only takes a few seconds a day 💪🌱))

((Alright, thats all! Sorry if you wanted a short sweet answer, but ive actually been ruminating on all of this, so thank you for this ask, for giving me a chance to talk about it all. Im happy to see this community thriving in the wake of Season 1, even if im not joining in myself -- you all keep up the great work, and keep having fun with it ❤ let it empower you to explore the value of Charlie's message and think of ways to impliment it in your daily life And on the world at large‼))

#{ ooc }#{ answered }

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years

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resolution is such a nice last portrait of how 13′s relationship with the fam works well before theyre all put in a situation where its pitfalls become super clear

we see 13 use “it’s personal” to convince yaz (especially) to go back to the tardis with the others and take care of lin. the next time we see her use that is in fugitive when graham asks what the master’s message for her said. graham’s reaction then is very similar i think to yaz’s reaction to the same line in resolution. it’s a very clear boundary that they all seem to be very familiar with. the doctor knows how and where to stop them, the fam knows when they have to back down. their relationship works. for now.

and we see the ways and situations 13 demands their trust AND how she fails that trust:

when the dalek has aaron and demands to be taken to the fleet:

RYAN: Doctor, do something. DOCTOR: Fine. YASMIN: Doctor, seriously? DOCTOR: My decision.

“my decision.” i like your input but when push comes to shove, when the stakes are high, when theres great risk to your life, i take the final decision and you accept that. (why i want yaz to take that decision from her in the finale) (”i will not let you die because of decisions ive taken”)

and when she opens the door to try and make the dalek fall into the supernova but it wouldve taken aaron with it if not for ryan:

RYAN: Help him. DOCTOR: Trust me?

their relationship works. it works very well the way it’s designed. the way the doctor has set it up. it’s just not designed for the circumstances that they find themselves in in s12 bc,,, the doctor didnt set it up for those circumstances. i think what she had in terms of companionship in s11 was... maybe not what she wanted necessarily, at least not at first, but what she needed a little bit. or at least better than having been left on her own. what she really needed was i think maybe like, donna, but having three superficial friendships was better than like a snowmen kind of situation. but having three, or any, really deep vulnerable friendships was not,, possible. and im not sure it’s what she needed either. not that soon. like if she actually managed to get another friendship that deep so soon after the doctor falls it would be another clara situation i think. but worse. like a worse clara situation. can you imagine.

anyway point is ive been mean to 13 a lot about how shes treated the fam i think shes been unfair to them a lot of the time but rewatching resolution really made me feel like oh, she did that well actually. she makes sure her relationships are exactly what she wants or needs or can handle and she communicates her boundaries well and she has friends who respect them and would even be able to give her what she needed on a less superficial level which is maybe less to her credit and more just luck but it wasnt really her fault that after s11 those relationships kinda snapped under pressure she didnt mean to put them in. i think.

#trying to be more concise about those last two paragraphs and only managing to make them longer so it is what it is #13 meta

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markets · 2 years

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Tbh ive learned a lot about people these past few months id like to think... ive also learned that i dont really bite the hand that feeds me but i do look at what its feeding me and go This shit sucks give me more please and then it goes Well ok ur not getting anything then. i mean not always actually bc the sort of "never settle always push for more" attitude ive kinda always had has been really beneficial to me in school and such like why study for an hour when you can study for two why settle for an A when you could have an A+ etc. but its a hard line of reasoning to shake off when youre NOT in an environment like that bc theres a big difference between turning 6 advanced classes into 7 and turning something like a little crush into a successful relationship where each party can give the other what it wants. Ppl are more complicated than that...!!! like relationships are not linear the way a grading scale is. Different stages of things are fun in their own way,and sometimes relationships can only reach a certain point and thats ok!! you dont have to push past that point because where youre at is just fine, and pushing will just leave you with nothing at all. Like ok the reason im saying this is BC the person ive been craziest over was my best friend and he said something really really nice about me that i wont even say um i think i might have already actually but its the nicest thing anyones ever said about me and also kind of personal so i dont want to repeat it i want to keep it for me. and i heard about this from someone else and was immediately like Holy crap we are meant to be together forever we're going to share a grave when if die!!! and then i asked him out and it flopped bc we are just not good together like that and now ive spent months trying to go back to what we were before. BC when we WERE that i was too focused on the next thing to realize that sometimes, even when you want more out of a relationship, you cant get it and it's fine because the place youre at has enough merit by itself anyway. And this is easy to say but harder to take into account when youre actually in a situation where you need it BC thinking "the more i do, the more i win" gives you such a clear set of instructions. Its rlly nice and rlly helpful. but with people its like you cant WIN but you can definitely lose. So ya.. working on being nicer to the hand that feeds me this year. building on relationships too hopefully but more thoughtfully this time around. <-Shes looped burning hill mitski like 16 times and now thinks shes the first person to ever have a thought

#angiemarkets.txt

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davestriderascend · 4 months

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the homestuck reread, pt 6

ive finished it. the main comic, anyway. theres still all the bonus content to slog through and the postcanon stuff, but i finished the main comic, and you know what? i think thats a feat enough all on its own. so heres the recap of the end, from act 6 act 6, on.

heres the previous recap, and heres the first one if youre new.

act 6 act 6s intermissions and subacts works according to similar rules as act 6 acts 1-5. the acts are short and all about homosuck (excepting the last one), while the intermissions are where literally everything else is happening. that said,

Act 6 Act 6 Act 1

this is the beginning of homosuck. its just, absolutely classic homosuck. at the end, caliborn corrupts the game file, creating the glitches that plague most of the a6a6 intermissions. homosuck is, of course, fucking hilarious and meta and the stupid art style lives rent free in my brain and i find myself drawing in it constantly. basically, i had a good time. theres not much else to say.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1

we pick up where we last left off with the introduction of grimbark jade, crockertier jane, and hics plot. the kids have been split up among the planets, and roxy and jake are in jail. john is struggling to control his retcon powers, and hops around time and space mucking things up, while jade tries to chase him down. this is where the big character selection screens and unclickable characters joke really gets going.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 2

this is the section of homosuck where john teleports himself into the narrative and bitches a lot about how much it sucks.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2

this is where things start building up to game over. aranea inserts herself into the narrative. jake goes ultra hope mode. jade dies. jake dies, but gets better. terezi beats the shit out of gamzee. jade joins callie in the furthest ring, and jane might too? idk. tbh, intermissions 1-3 kind of blend for me. which is obviously bc theyre a part of one big overarching narrative.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 3

this is the part of homosuck with the animes. this also may have had some kind of impact on how i doodled growing up. this is also the part where john beats caliborn up. the act ends with the game over animation, which leads directly into the following intermission with no real clear separation between them.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 3

this is the part where everyone dies. well, the intermission as its marked on the hs map is literally just condy killing aranea, mostly, but the game over animation leading up to it kills everybody. john is the sole survivor.

The Characters

i think here, therefore, is where i must give my final thoughts on the pre-retcon versions of characters. dave and karkat are a lot closer than i remembered- i thought we as a fandom kind of made that shit up? but they are, in fact, besties. jakes crybaby breakdown in these three intermissions is.... well theres a lot to unpack around jakes ideas of masculinity and how hes sexualized and smarter people than me have done it, so i probably wont. otherwise idk that i have like, super coherent thoughts that are worth getting into.

on the whole, the pre-retcon versions are more dysfunctional, more insecure, and more toxic in their relationships. they dont spend as much time with each other as they mean to, they dont look out for each other as much as they wish they had, and theyre all so insecure all the time about everything, especially the meteor crew.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 4

caliborns tablet is broken, and so hes back to his shitty straight line doodles. the whole act is literally just him bitching and moaning about how hard his life is as a pitiable little guy.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 4

this is the one where terezi tells john how to go back in time and fix everything. roxy and john both make deals with their denizens to survive, which means that all other versions of john and roxy will die in every other timeline. roxy has a funeral for rose, vriska and meenah start dating and sort of give up on all of their plans, and terezi and john pitchflirt a lot. this is also the act where jane and jade hang out w calliope and talk about what happened before they woke up w her.

The Characters

something i thought was worth noting is that in this intermission, both jade and jane confess that grimbark and crockertier essentially removed their consciences and allowed them to follow through on thoughts or desires they usually wouldnt express- meaning a lot of the nasty things they say are their actual feelings, deep down. theyre both really ashamed of it all, particularly because they meant the things they said. i think reviewing these sections of hs will be really important for character analysis relating to the two of them.

we also learn that roxy just like. really likes funerals, for some reason. it feels like a mirror of dave, and daves interest in dead things.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 5

this is the claymation homosuck, that tells the story of the juju said to defeath le and how le came to be. this is also where that big stupid animation involving illuminati and le's timeilne comes from.

i remember when homestuck ended that whole juju thing was like, the BIGGEST plothole left behind that made everyone nuts. how did they get in the juju??? DID they defeat le??? how did they get to a point where they could do that?? when tf did they all go back in time and fight caliborn like that??? the epilogue tried to answer these questions, but with how much success is largely up for debate.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5

vriskagram. this is the part with all of those reunion conversations, with the plans to take out the bosses, with the sprite prototypings, with meenah and (vriska)s breakup, with tavros assembling an army, with the pre retcon terezi and vriska finding each other in the afterlife, with caliborn approaching his denizen, with jade, jane, and callie finding alt callie and waking up (callie coming back to life), and with the kids splitting off into groups to finally take on the bosses. everything right up until collide is right here.

The Characters

i have to comment on this. post-retcon, the kids are so much more... mellowed out. theyre in healthier, stable relationships, theyve matured a lot, they talk through their problems, and the nature of the act in general is such that the jokes take a backseat to genuine feelings and reunions and elaborating on relationships weve been waiting to see the payoffs for for ages. its setting up for closure, and it makes the following act hit so much harder for sure.

in retrospect, i think this is probably part of the reason so many people were averse to the epilogues. i genuinely dont think the tone of the epilogues is significantly different from early hoemstuck, its classically hussie in a way that i never questioned reading it for the first time, possibly bc in addition to reading hs i had in fact also read ps, jb, and bq, so id just been exposed to more of it. i also revisited logs a lot, and i think most people didnt. instead, their last and strongest memories of hs was this incredibly sincere, sweet act, which is really a MASSIVE outlier.

anyway, things that i thought were of note: jake hates crowds. not only is he really uncomfortable, but roxy backs this up by commenting on how reluctant he was to spend time w the whole group in their session, and john makes a similar comment about jades gpa liking his space so much that he moved to an island.

dave tells dirk that he hasnt told anyone else about his bro and never would, including karkat by name. he feels that dirk is the only one he really can talk to about it, and the only reason he spoke to dirk about it in the first place is bc dirks existence is just uniquely distressing enough to trigger a breakdown where he blurts it out. also on the topic of dave, i think dave first mentions paleontology pre-retcon, rather uncertainly, as something he could have gotten into but never did, to the point where hes not even sure if paleontology is the right word to describe his interest. as the comic goes on, he seems to become more confident in asserting that he wouldve liked to become a paleontologist.

callie, terezi, and jade all struggle with feelings of insecurity and worthlessness, either because they feel that they have no purpose, because they feel empty somehow, or because they feel secondary to an alternate self.

despite dvekat """""officially"""""" getting together in post-canon content, theyre alluded to being together in this act, with terezi and vriska stating that theyve settled into some kind of quadrant, japrose saying karkat has a matesprit, and daves intense aversion to answering any questions about romance, suggesting that he may be in a relationship and too embarrassed to talk about it. theres room for debate, i guess, but it really read to me like they were already together and just quiet asf about it.

anyway my favorite conversation in this act is by far the one between roxy, rose, and kanaya, and rather than even say shit about any of them i am just going to insist that you (by which i mean future me, probably) give it a reread bc its the best.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 6

collide. easily my FAVORITE flash animation in homestuck. i actually still have my old shirt that has the collide frame of dad punching through the brick, though its so full of holes ill have to repurpose it now. the rest of the act is everyone meeting up post battle and getting ready to receive the reward. ngl this act made me legit cry its just. SO good. the fraymotifs are awesome and the battle feels difficult and long without being boring, and there are so many genuine moments of emotional sincerity mixed in with punchy, exciting scenes. its just great, and the art is fantastic. i have a new pfp locked and loaded, believe it.

Act 7

act 7 is a single animation wherein alt calliope blows up the green sun, the universe tadpole becomes a frog, vriska and the ghost army unleash the second weapon, caliborn defeats his denizen and gains his le powers, wv and pm toss the rings in a volcano, and we get a preview of how earth c has developed.

the animation in this act is gorgeous. god, its so fucking stunning. the movement is so smooth, and the particle effects were really impressive. also, the tadpole was so cute.

Credits/Snapchat

theyre fucking cute. there isnt much to say, because there isnt much there. the last little plot mess with jane and the moon exploding has never made sense to me and likely never will. i get headaches trying to figure out why hussie released these if they wanted to also release the epilogues, given that they directly contradict each other more often than not. moving on.

Final Albums

during all of this time, no albums were released. however, directly after the end of hs, three were.

Collide

collide was previously my favorite album. what can i say? the music goes hard. yes its just the songs that are in the collide animation, but who cares, and also go fuck yourself. i am a really big fan of oppa toby style and just how fucking. fundamentally toby it is, god. however, heir of grief is literally my favorite homestuck song in existence period. its so bittersweet and yet the sound is so full and and the ups and downs of it are just really potent. plus, guitar is my favorite instrument and i really like the guitar in this :)

Act 7

its literally just the singular song used for the act 7 animation. i mean, its a good song. but it is literally just one song. weird that they gave it its own album tbh.

Vol 10

MY NEW. FAVORITE. ALBUM. there is not a single solitary miss on here. reading through the track commentary, its obvious that this album was created to be an ode to the end of homestuck, to show how far weve really come. it remixes so many classics, and for many of the artists who worked on this album, it was a chance to revisit stuff theyd done before and show how much theyd grown since they started out. every single song is so full, moving and beautiful and breathtaking. its the most polished album by far. i dont think i can pick a favorite song because theyre all so good. the album also wraps up in the most perfect and bittersweet way, and its just. ugh. this was such a perfect way to end.

Final Thoughts

it holds up. i mean, yeah, it has its fucking problems. however, hussie manages to capture the feelings of being a teen growing up on the internet so fucking well, and no one, ever, has written young girls like hussie has. i cannot think of a single comparable female cast in anything. there are so many really potent and genuinely touching moments alongside so many hysterical ones, and you know? i think we really forget how ahead of its time hs was in terms of gay rep.

hs was the first time i ever saw a gay couple get together in media. it was the first time i ever saw two guys kiss. it was the first time i ever saw a nonbinary character! rose and kanaya started flirting in the first few acts, and they not only survived until the end, but got married and raised an entire generation of kids. never before had i ever found myself shipping a queer couple that became canon. so its always gonna hold a special place in my heart, really.

but yeah, against all odds, i actually really enjoyed my reread. there were some rough moments, in terms of like, major bigotry hussie has and wrote in, but overwhelmingly its easy to remember why this had such a stranglehold on my life for like. idk, five fucking years? more?

my opinions have shifted around some, though, as ive gotten older.

i think, on my first read, my favorites list wouldve looked like this:

the kids: dave was my favorite, unequivocally. i think ive mentioned this before, but i imprinted on him instantly like a baby bird. i was inexplicably obsessed with davesprite and abro, also, to the point where i liked them even more. i think dirk and his splinters were favorites of mine mostly just because i viewed them as dave 2, the sequel. i liked john a lot while reading, but lost interest as the comic went on (i regained that interest much later). i always liked rose and roxy, but a large portion of that was due to their relationship to the striders.

the trolls: i imprinted on vriska instantly. she felt like the answer to the rep id been searching for my whole life. there has never been another female character like her, and there may never be again. i have always loved her and i will defend her to the death, however, after finishing my read, i never did engage w much fancontent. sollux was another early favorite of mine, though he was in hs so little that my passion sort of faded with enough time. karkat, conversely, grew on me progressively, starting as a character i was indifferent about and becoming probably my favorite troll. i was pretty attached to eridan, and violently outgrew a brief gamzee apologism phase. i liked kanaya, but she grew on me even more with time, as did aradia. equius i discovered a sudden passion for years after reading the comic for the first time.

dancestors/ancestors/guardians: ugh. ugh. i dont even remember my favorite dancestor. i dont wanna think about it. i was really fixated on them but moreso than liked them i think i just hated everything everyone had to say about them and had to be right always. my favorite ancestors were psii, dualscar, and the sufferer, and i dont want to even talk about the shipping i was up to. my favorite guardians were very obviously the bros. goes w/o saying.

carapacians: i thought droog was the coolest mc member for some reason, and itchy and crowbar were my favorite felt members. could NOT tell you why. ar and wv were my favorite exiles. i think i just thought ars little outfit was sick. i dont have toe xplain why i liked wv, everyone likes him.

pesterlogs: i recall once claiming that The convo between hal and dirk was my favorite. i also know i was a very big fan of anything erisol said ever (and sollux, similarly). however, i dont think i had one.

ships: i was a really hardcore drkjake shipper (all splinters included) while i was reading, which branched into an interest in johndve with enough time. i got big into just about every combination of eridan, sollux, karkat, and dave (sprites included), except solkt, and eventually i got rlly into aradve, dvejake, and jhnhal/johndrk. i am censoring to keep myself out of the tags. i think, in most recent years (prior to my reread), my faves were eridve, dvekat, and jhnhal?

current fave list, post reread:

kids: rose. rose rose rose. i adore her so much. roxy is a close second. there was a moment where i prefered jake over roxy, in those really early a6 acts, but she came right back in strong and reminded me why i adored her so much. hal is also very high up there. not dirk- just hal, because all of his conversations are literally so funny. john is great and i love him, my feelings about him really havent changed at all. the striders on a whole were a lot less interesting to me on my reread, though, and now theyre the characters im mostly just invested in for their connection to the lalondes. ive conquered whatever toxic masculinity i was battling when i first read hs and come out loving wizards. feminism wins.

trolls: vriska remains the og. she is still iconic. no one is doing it like her. i wont suffer argument. sollux is also still fucking incredible. my feelings about both of them havent changed in the slightest. kanaya was one of my faves this reread, and i think i really just didnt appreciate her the first time. she has such a great dry wit, and there are so many really cute, very touching moments with her. i think other than those three, i have discovered a new love and respect for equius and nepeta. i am still probably not normal about eridan. karkat, like the striders, was less interesting to me this go around. i still like them, dont get me wrong, just not as passionately as before.

dancestors/ancestors/guardians: my favorite guardian is johns dad (and also janes, bc theyre like, the same person). johns relationship w his dad is just so important to me. i couldnt give LESS of a shit about the ancestors. ive outgrown it. im different. im better now. but unofrtunately, kankri is...... sighs. probably my favorite dancestor now. hes just. so fucking funny. pray for me.

carapacians: jack is the best, period. dunno how i ever thought differently. cd is probably my second fav mc member now, just cuz hes a funny little dude. crowbar is my fave felt member bc hes the only interesting one, ig? but i dont care that much. wv is my favorite exile.

pesterlogs: every single convo between hal and jake was my new favorite for a long time, basically, up until that roxy rose and kanaya convo came up out of the blue and smashed that to pieces. definitely my favorite. its like, the perfect culmination of all of the things i love about all of them, all in one place. however, honorary mentions go to vriskas speech about being a hero, which has lived in my brain rent free since the first time i read it, and also probably The conversation between dirk and hal, bc lets be real it is pretty sick.

collide is my favorite flash animation by far, heir of grief is my favorite song, and vol 10 is my favorite album, as ive mentioned

ships: i am now an insanely hardcore haljke fan. that is most of whats come out of this tbh. i still think eridve is hilarious for no real reason i can explain, and halqius rules. arquius<>davepeta i also have strong feelings about suddenly. pay absolutely no attention to the fact that these are 75% hal ships he is just really shippable ok. butyeah mostly when ive freshly read something iactually. dont care that much about ships? that tends to come later, with too much time spent in the fandom. im sure ill be obsessive about some roxy or rose ship in a year from now

but yeah i think. those are all of my thoughts for now!! and i will just continue to chug my way through the bonus content, and probably make recaps about those eventually. if you read all of these thanks for coming along on this wild little ride. i am genuinely SHOCKED i finished the main comic in less than a month. and relieved, also.

#hs reread #recaps

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ankhisms · 10 months

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thought a lot about art today as i mentioned earlier.. this will be very jumbled rambling but i shall now expand

after my mom and i got groceries today we stopped at this building that was hosting an art showing of a local art group, my mom wanted to go because she recently sort of reconnected with a lady she went to college with and this womans paintings were in the art showing so she wanted to see. we both ended up not being very impressed with the majority of the work at the showing, the lady who my mom knew probably had the paintings that i liked the most even without knowing beforehand that it was her. i always try to be very fair when it comes to art and im of the mind that even if i dont like a certain style or a certain piece of art that doesnt make it bad or devoid of meaning and doesnt mean its not meaningful and good to someone else, and i think art is something that every person is capable of doing in some fashion no matter your skill levels or capabilities theres so many ways to create art and thats what makes art so beautiful and amazing and deeply human. i really am aware that in the past ive been surrounded by very unhealthy and toxic mindsets when its come to art and its ended up hurting me and my growth as an artist and im still unlearning and working through allowing myself to be messy and make "bad" art.

so with that being said at the same time ive had this weird feeling that im not entirely comfortable with where like.. i looked at a lot of the paintings that were supposed to be realistic landscapes or still life and thought "i could paint this better". and i dont like having that thought. it feels petty and mean spirited. i dont want to be someone who thinks theyre better than others, and honestly my thoughts about myself and my creative work are usually the complete opposite. but for some context all of the women artists in this show were 60-70 years old and almost all of them had some kind of art degree, ranging from bachelors to masters degrees in art and several of them are art professors or teachers. one of them specifically whos paintings did not impress me is a painting teacher at my old college. all of them are clearly coming from wealthier backgrounds than me and my family and i should note that all of them are white, there were no women of color having their work showcased in this.

and it just feels very strange because its like i dont like having the thought "i could do a better painting than this" but at the same time... these ladies all have had so many more opportunities than me and my mom as artists and its like. from looking at the paintings of the one painting professors i felt almost relieved that i didnt take art classes at college when before i had felt kind of sad that i didnt have time in my schedule to take any art classes, because like it was very clear looking at these paintings that this lady doesnt have very basic art theory stuff in mind that i have taught myself with no real art schooling.

but then again i circle back into thinking about how i dont think people should have to have any real technical training in order to do art and people certainly dont have to go to school in art to be an artist yknow as i said before i think every person is capable of creating things and that art is a deeply human thing that is within each of us

i think its just weird because i know how privledged these women are, moreso than my mother and i, and they all are so much older than me and are supposed to be professional artists and yet its like you havent even done really basic stuff where your still life and your landscape look worse than the paintings i was doing in highschool. part of me feels like im just being bitter and maybe i am. i genuinely think my mother is an amazing artist thats not just me being biased because im her child ive talked before about my complex relationship with my mother but she genuinely is skilled and dedicated to her craft she works her ass off to have our family just scrape by and she works on her art whenever she has a little bit of time and the pieces she does are so beautiful and breath taking. but she was talking about how we dont have the money to properly frame any of her work and real frames like the ones in that showing cost a lot of money and part of me just has this anger inside me like. why do these rich ladies with their mediocre paintings get to be in galleries and be art teachers when my mom and her beautiful artwork doesnt stand a chance of ever getting in a gallery. and then i start thinking of all the amazing artists i know or follow online and how many of them are just struggling to stay alive and get their basic needs met and i get even angrier.

so yeah i dont really know if im contridicting myself by feeling that art should be accessible to everyone and that everyone is capable of doing art and wanting to encourage artists at all levels and not be an asshole needlessly to artists but at the same time. i was not impressed and felt bitter i guess. because of the rich ladies paintings. then again these ladies are calling themselves professionals and putting their work in galleries so i guess its not the same as just like seeing art online like i guess you have to expect people to critique you if youre calling yourself an art professional and having your work be displayed. anyway thanks if you read this love you

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