#Its nothing very special
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Just in case anyone here didn't know or realize I have an OFMD sideblog!
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Being ace is an opposite of fuck around and find out:
Fuck nobody and never know for sure
#never knowing is actually a very important part#bc you learn that you dont care and you dont wait for that ✨special someone✨#if something changes: cool#if nothing changes: cool#i dont need to be sure to be okay with my sexuality#and i dont need proof for others if i want to use one label or another#peace and love on planet earth#humans have too short lives for random people telling them they can't live their life how they want#asexual#asexuality#aroace#ater babbling at 2 am#hello new followers time to disappoint you 💖#also im sex repulsed. but if you are not? then fuck and never know for sure ✨#its literally 2am i really should stop and think before posting something. but dis a problem for a future fish#Right now fish wants to post their stupid post
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still sorting out how to feel about it but fuck ncuti was just insantly beyond all expectations. King
#i feel sad his first appearance was sort of playing second fiddle to tennant and he didnt get a proper regen or anything#but i am soooooo excited for him to get started in earnest#plot wise probably my favorite of the specials but that was pretty unhinged#my full conclusion is that rtd is the most self indulgent showrunner alive which works for him but is also very Apparent lmao#doc who#doctor who spoilers#like whys ncuti feeling like a companion/side character in his own show like????#as someone who isnt a tengirl it’s like. Okay.#also as someone who enjoyed the donna tragedy SORRY#like these specials were really not For Me which is fine. but lets get going cmon 💪#i’ll just never be a happy ending enjoyer i need it to be at least bittersweet which is why i like this show lol. too happy booooo#me and capaldi being like ITS SAD. ITS ABOUT DEATH. rtd putting his hands in his ears and playing with action figures#which he has the right to do i wish him nothing but happiness also 14 and 15 sjould have fucked
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I have a sudden, unsolicited opinion on the moment where Ochako admits that she fell in love with Izuku. Since it has been going around as one of those context-less, surface level articles on Google(I spotted it too)
So it's talking about the moment when Ochako is fighting Toga and she tells her that she fell in love with Izuku.
Does she use the exact wording? Yes.
Does that mean it's an end all declaration? Does it mean she is endgame with Izuku? I do not think so.
I don't think it's the final nail in the coffin to the argument for any other ship involving Izuku or Ochako. Here's why:
The admission is so anticlimactic.
We have known for a while that Ochako has complicated feelings about Izuku. We know that it has been a bit of a crush. And that has led to ANTICIPATION to see what becomes of those feelings.
But along the anticipation, we have also seen her going through some feelings of discomfort about the whole thing...unusual, for a supposed love interest of a Shonen manga!
So the audience has been waiting for a LONG time for something, anything, to happen between Ochako and Izuku that rewards that anticipation and that waffling on Ochakos part.
And for something like a supposed love confession, a line like "I fell in love with Izuku Midoriya", to heppen....
But NOT in a moment between Ochako and Izuku themselves, just also does not reward the anticipation that was built up.
She did not confirm and admit these feelings TO izuku. She admitted them to Himiko.
And that is the first time the audience hears her positively confirm that she had those feelings, blatantly.
But it TAKES AWAY from the actual relationship because Himiko received that confession...not Izuku.
We didn't get a charged confession between Ochako and Izuku. The relationship was STILL not mutually developed. It's still just a quality of Ochako, it says nothing about Izuku. The anticipation of Ochako having a crush, and changing, complicated feelings for Izuku and where that would eventually climax, where it would reach its peak for Ochako and Izuku both, instead is diverted. Kind of literally. Because it didn't happen at either chance they had to talk it out, to confess, she sent Izuku away when Himiko tried to trap him into a love discussion. She didnt bring it up before the war began even though they had such a calm moment to be able to do so. It didn't come out in the logical places. And now in the endgame, they have split up to fight different battles...Ochako has even exhausted everything she has right now to save Himiko and likely is out until we receive the wrap up.
So, the anticipation I mentioned, again, does not have a payout in the form of even a rushed battlefield confession because the two of them are fighting different battles.
Instead the audience is given the confirmation of "I fell in love with him" when he is not even present, when Ochako is not confessing to him or confronting him. It comes out with Toga, when she Is trying to reach out and level with her, it almost could read as a "I had a crush on the same boy" kind of statement. It comes out when saving Himiko is Ochakos main priority.
What I'm saying here is that Ochakos love confession for Izuku, which is usually a big deal in any story, is in the back seat to prioritize each of their other relationships and goals. Which is great that it is not forced upon us when there are bigger things happening, however it just does a disservice to the pairing itself when most of the feelings are expressed onesidedly, and an actual statement of love, if it's not even outdated because of changed feelings, means a lot less when it's not filling the gap between the two people in question. When the confession doesn't reach the other person.
(And I will go ahead and say that is kind of similar to how bkdk is right now as well, bc we have SO MUCH material on Katsukis side, about how he feels and how much he cares about Izuku, but not a lot on what Izuku feels or allows himself to feel about Katsuki. I will call that out as well.)
Like at this point, the best we could hope for, for Ochako and Izuku being a couple, is a very open note about it in the aftermath. Like maybe Ochako asks Izuku if he would like to get crepes with her. That's just enough given context clues to suggest to the audience that yes there are still some feelings there, she heard what he said about crepes and holding hands and took note of it, but also that Izuku himself is willing to explore those feelings as well. It would be Ochako finally choosing her feelings for Izuku, but without it being too sudden for Izuku to accept. This whole time we are not shown Izuku crushing on her at all it would be strange to have him suddenly initiate.
But anything more romantic and profound than that? Any dramatic reveal/confession of feelings, any chance for them to have a moment in the midst of war to have the "i love you" discussion? That has been bypassed time and time again. Horikoshi COULD HAVE WORKED IT IN, IF IT WERE A PRIORITY TO HAVE THEM ENDGAME. While no, romance doesn't have to be a priority in a Shonen, and Ochako has flipped the script on how she handles her feelings as a shonen love interest, Hori has demonstrated that threads and concepts of romance ARE part of his narrative.
And right now? Hot take, but the most romantic thread that Izuku, his main character, finds himself in, is whatever the hell is going on between him and Katsuki Bakugou.
You'd just think if the mc was going to be with a romantic partner, a girl, by the end of the story, something would have happened.
I feel like I'm going in circles past my point, but it boils down to Izuku not having any indication of interest in Ochako besides friendliness....the fact that the audience received confirmation of Ochako loving Izuku from her telling a 3rd party and NOT her subject, and the anticipation of that confession, built up for YEARS of this manga and animes run, of supposed feelings not really being paid off, if the two are meant to be the romantic end game. It also boils down to the fact that the anticipation of the confession had a CHANCE to occur with Izuku, the subject, multiple times. It boils down to again, ochako and Izukus relationship being romantic in anyway being little more than an after thought.
AND! it doesn't even guarantee that her feelings of love for him are still the same! We don't know for sure if she STILL loves Izuku!
So yeah. I hope this made sense, but it sure feels anticlimactic to have a love confession(supposedly) not even occur while the subject is present, where the audience can view it and celebrate that long awaited conclusion.
As always, these articles that pop up on Google leave a lot of context out, and are very face value. They saw Ochako say the L word and called it endgame. There is a reason I don't read them.
#bakudeku#bnha spoilers#bkdk#togachako#thoughts on romance in bnha#take with a grain of salt bc i could of course be wrong#but that is how it reads to me#honestly i would be satisfied with the scenario of ochako asking izuku on a little crepe date at the very end#bc it would still be believable#even if we dont know how izu feels#there is nothing that says he cant aay yes to a small casual date like that at the end pf their war#just dont call it a whirlwind romance cus its not#there also nothing wrong with izuku just not having a dtrong romantic interest in anyone#he has a lot going on it makes sense#just bc shonen USUALLY has this big romantic sideplot doesnt mean hori wont subvert it#he already has honestly#arguably tho he has got more romantic coded drama going on with Katsuki#BUT THATS JUST OPINION FROM A MULTISHIPPER WHO SPECIALIZES IN BKDK#anyway ochako is doing fantastic and i love her very much#ochako uraraka#at the end of the day horikoshis writing is pretty complex#he had already done Ochako a service by subverting the love interest character trope and having her focus on Himiko instead of Izuku
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come here son i am going to infect you with my inosuke + kanao sibling agenda
(do not tag as ship)
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#kny spoilers#demon slayer spoilers#inosuke hashibira#kanao tsuyuri#ignoring aoi amd inosuke forever. i do not see it. sorry. it is bad. it annoys me#im not annoyed at aoi im annoyed that they paired two characters who barely ever interact ever togwther#and didnt give aoi any character or agency. shes just “inosukes wife” now.#its not good! there ks no foundation for their dynamic at all!!!#IM NOT GONNA RANT ABT IT TOO MUCH I PROMISE ;__; SORRY#i did finish the manga and i think its going to hold a very special place in my heart#i will cry. i dont cry too easily when reading stuff but when this gets animated i guarantee u i will sob#anyways. back to what i was actually going to talk about#KANAO AND INOSUKE SIBLING MOMENCE FORWVER!!! ATTACK!!! IM MOSTLY THINKING 2 RHE SCENE WHERE THE FIGHT DOUMA#i think thats his name right? douma?#NOTHING BRINGS TO CHARACTERS TOGETHER LIKE SHARED TRAUMA!!!!!!!!(joke)#*two#i imagine in my mind they would grieve together. they both have something in common. their loved one was killed by the same demon#not only that; but i just love their dynamic#and of course that chaoter cover where inosuke is still grieving over his mother and kanao silently supports him as they walk out#You ever remember how theyre all children. theyre just children. theyre kids. theyre not even 18 yet. you ever think about that
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by the way, friendly reminder that i have a ko-fi! i don't think i've posted about this on tumblr before, but if you tip me USD$10 or more, you'll get a little personalized thank-you sketch :-)
#most of the stuff ive been posting this past week are thank you sketches hehe#just tell me something you like/a blorbo/etc and ill make something! its good if youd like a drawing but nothing so fancy as a full comm#im thankfully in a much better place financially than last month so i dont have to like beg for food money at the end of the month#however every cent is still very appreciated. the economic situation here is still very dire lmao so there are things that still fall#outside my monthly budget that i'd really find useful! specially since i'd like to work on a few pieces before fully opening comms again
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#5 the past car + the engine
#alrighty#i finished this last week im just very nervous to post cause im bad at colors and lighting#but hope yall like it#i dont usually do very detailed piece as well unless its commission or zines but intr have a special place in my heart#and i love tulip a bunch too#infinity train#infinity train book 1#infinity train fanart#tulip olsen#the bar code means nothing tho i wish it means something ya know idk idk
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Grand Geode, 1883. Lieutenant Roberts sees a familiar face. Or at least something wearing that face.
There’s a storm coming. Heat and humidity hang in the air, adding strain to each breath. Sweat pools at the back of Roberts’ neck, the droplets sliding down the curve of his spine beneath his uniform. He does his best to ignore the discomfort, gripping the folder in his hands yet tighter as he follows a familiar set of turns down the hall to the Commodore’s office.
In a previous life, he may have regarded his current position as gruntwork–dull, administrative minutia, a world away from any action on the Zee, but in moments like these he finds he doesn’t mind. Any moment now, the heat will break, and the Zee will roil under a torrent of foetid-smelling rain, befouled by the Wax Wind. He does not envy the men on their ships when the storm inevitably hits. Carrying documents up the chain is fine by him, if it means stable stone under his dry feet, and a bed that does not sway with the tides.
He turns the corner, and before his hand can even touch the office door, Roberts feels the sudden charge in the air, white-hot and electric, and the hairs on his arms stand on end. The sensation calls back to something familiar, half-forgotten in the back of his mind. He wonders if he should leave, perhaps come back later. But before he has time to properly question it, the Commodore’s voice rings out through the door, as if able to sense his presence through the thick wood.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s Lieutenant Roberts, sir,” he says.
The Commodore is silent for a beat, then answers softly, as if forgetting the heavy door between them.
“Elias, why don’t you come in.”
It’s not framed as a question. And so he does.
The Commodore sits at his desk, in the exact position where Roberts has seen him hundreds of times before. But this time is different. This time, he has a visitor. Radiant. That’s the only way he can think of to describe her. A singular point in the centre of the room, the axis around which so many golden threads warp and turn. She does not look happy to see them. In fact, she doesn’t look much of anything, and he struggles to make out her features through the brilliant haze she emanates.
“Elias, you remember June, don’t you?” There’s a placidness to the Commodore’s voice that he so rarely hears. The man has not taken his eyes off of June since Roberts had entered the room, and he can hardly do so himself.
Indeed he remembers her. If he squints into that light he can even make out her features, unchanged from when he’d last seen her, nearly two decades prior. He feels warm. Not the muggy heat smothering Zelo’s Town, but a glow, spreading from within his chest out into his limbs.
“Of course,” he says. How could he forget?
June does not greet him. She does not take her eyes off of the serene face of the Commodore. When her mouth opens, the sound that comes out is otherworldly, timbres not possible on human vocal chords. The sound reverberates through Roberts’ body, like the bass tones of chugging machinery.
It was something of importance. He’s sure of it. She wouldn’t be here, speaking to him, to them, to the Commodore, were it not. A Zee captain will return, and when they do, the Admiralty will be ready. She leaves her instructions. Her voice is so warm, all-encompassing, a rumbling static beating a tune against his eardrums. He will complete the Work. Whatever it is she needs, he will do. They will do.
He tells her this. At least, he thinks he does. Whether or not he speaks the words out loud she must know this of him. Her eyes are on the Commodore, whose head nods in a slow daze. Of course they can manage. He’ll personally ensure they have the supplies they need. More heat. Pride, this time, that they can do what she requests of them.
And then she turns to him, golden eyes boring directly through him, setting him alight. Her lips open to speak and–
He comes to at a raucous peel of thunder. June is long gone, and he shivers at the unexpected cold left by her absence, despite the muggy air. Yet despite the chill of her absence, he feels… calm. A slow satisfaction at having done… something right. At least, he feels so. Something worthwhile.
It’s only several minutes later, when he stands under the building’s awning, the rhythm of rain pounding a frenetic drumbeat into the steel roof, that he realises he’s still clutching the missive meant for the Commodore.
#roberts/nite#this was going to have a very different tone#but burning and yearning muddles us all#running with my 'the dawn machine has consumed june and she's become its mouthpiece' headcanon#though the more time i spend here the more i feel like she's been vaporised to kickstart the thing#but maybe something with her shape still walks its rings#and on very special occasions makes its way across the zee to make its thoughts known#i feel so naked sharing writing on here#this is not my world#what a weird feeling#right here goes nothing
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say what you want about hsr’s expository style of writing, but it does make is exceptionally easy for us fic writers. they’ll make a point of saying to your face how any one character operates. for example, we are just straight-up told at one point that sampo doesn’t like owing people favors, that’s why he can be so strange and erratic with his assistance. thank you game! i might have come to that conclusion on my own at some point, but you’ve saved me the time by just telling me
#idk if ive communicated this well#basically the way hsr writes its characters is that each character has its own set of internal 'rules' for how theyll behave#these are usually very few and very simple#this is how a lot of writing goes for these sorts of ensemble games#what hsr does though is that it has a habit of straight up telling you these rules#so if ur paying attention the entire character will just be spread out before you and you can pick them up and write for them yourself#very easily#idk if this is obvious to everyone and im just rambling about nothing special#i just like thinking about this sort of stuff#honkai star rail#sampo koski#hsr liveblogging
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Guess whos now the genuine owner of an actually played Pick from Steffen Israel????????
its y'alls favorite friendly neighbourhood transmasc
#like#i had a sign “maoam for plek”#and Gwen showed him that and went like “steffen can you give that guy your pick?”#and he like#did it#he like#gave it to me fully expecting nothing back but like#i gave him maoam and he said thanks#Its gonna switch owners tho because im giving it to a very very special person in April and that person is like very very dear to me#@you know who you are c:
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#cobra kai#cobrakaiedit#terry silver#mike barnes#daniel larusso#well. kind of. shut up.#s.gif#ck spoilers#ANYWAYS. this parallel makes me insane a little bit#like UGH just the different contexts.#terry shows up on daniel's turf to tell him to stand down. he says he's sorry but its very obvious he's just going through those motions#and when daniel doesn't trust that his apology is coming from a good place (bc it isnt) terry can then#justify the violence he'll commit against later.#okay. okay. i tried. he says. as if it's that simple.#as if he's proving he's not really sorry by getting involved at all#michael on the other hand. he had nothing to do w the karate war.#daniel sought him out dragged him into the mess#but even THEN like. he has to take this chance to apologize.#UGH. michael barnes u r so special 2 me.
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ilia is such a sad character ill be so real. pour a glass for yet another victim lost to nintendo love interest-ification
#(guy who is sitting through these first few chapters and is cringing)#ilia is like. a special case i feel. because i feel like ppl have always been Vehemently against her#which is kind of funny bcus tp doesnt even have a lot going for it in the shipping alley really. the zelink here is obligatory#and midna spends the entire game as an imp creature. ilia is just there for link to look at and feel sad about#i don't particularly care for her but yeahhhh she never stood a chance LOL. its funny too bcus i guess shes meant to be malon 2#but malon has come out of shipping wars relatively unschathed despite the fact there is also really Nothing going on there#she just has enough funny quirks and in-fandom characterisation that shes endearing. ilia... not really i guess#anyways what was i talking about. oh yeah. this manga isnt very good so far ill be real but im holding out hope#personal.txt
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Hm. The feelings are all over the place and this is a VERY difficult situation for me.
#word of god#its his anniversary tomorrow! im very happy for him!#but also#😡#but also also he still wants to call me tomorrow#but also also also 😭#i am both a terrible person and i am doing nothing wrong#and i am a FANTASTIC friend because im happy for him and a terrible friend because im not#and i am SO fucking jealous i do not like being jealous#i am above jealousy thats a feeling for weak and pathetic people#but why even be jealous he wants to call me tomorrow#because im special to him#ahhhh i wish i had weed
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people’s intense desire to see The Greatest Story Ever Told within EVERY piece of media they consume is what’s setting humanity back i think.
#nothing will ever be perfect and nothing will ever appeal to everyone#like yeah criticism is fine but. sometimes you can just enjoy a show despite its flaws. and move on with your life#don’t let writing mistakes ruin your life#and there’s a reason masterpieces are rare#if every show was perfect then they wouldn’t be very special would they#erros doesnt know how to shut up
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its always some white suburban family w/ two parents and a teenage daughter who is on her phone too much and an athletic nine to eleven year old brother who is closer to his dad (they never have any problems) and they both do rowdy Boys activities and play sports together while the mom and daughter are having their big emotional fight or whatever. aren't you tired?? How long do we have to accept Surbuan families with a teenager daughter and adolescent son with this exact dynamic in media. Most boring stock tv show family in existence
#if bobs burgers had this dynamic it would Unironically be completely unbearable#love bob and gene's relationship its one of my favorites in the show but the Boy and his immature fun dad dynamic. absolutely cant do it#THE FUN DAD AND MEAN OVERLY STRICT MOM DYNAMIC TOO and the teenage daughter..... when will we be free from heteronormativity#The Son And The Daughter. and it's never a deeper look into that sibling relationship either#nothing that goes beyond a very special episode type vibe anyway. does anybody understand what im talking about#txt
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i know nobody is online rn to read this but ;-; i gotta get it off my chest i love ken so much he means everything to me he's making me so happy and i've needed him so so so bad. he's brought me comfort when my ptsd has been so fucking unbearable and every time i'm having a crying fit over losing my tf f/os or every time i'm having a flashback i ALWAYS immediately IMMEDIATELY think about him rushing to my side, holding me and saying "hey hey it's okay, i'm here, i'm right here" and it's such a relief because i haven't been able to genuinely wholeheartedly believe any character would be willing to do that for me the entire time i've been struggling this year.
i've never gone so long without comfort from f/os, much less being triggered by the ones who used to comfort me the most. so to have barbie and ken right now is like the biggest wave of relief every single day when i wake up and the hyperfixation is still there. sometimes i will literally close my eyes and sigh in relief when i hear a song and my first thought is sebastian or ken or six or... whomever. i love being in love again. i NEED this. i love waking up and my first thought isn't my trauma most of the time now, it's ken. or it's six. or it's barbie. or it's harley. or it's officer k. or it's... yeah you get it. i needed these characters so fucking badly. every time i see a gifset and get excited over it, i feel a rush of gratitude bc self shipping has always been the glue holding me together. it doesn't feel as intense or strong as the SB musical or TF used to make me feel but i am not picky. not at all. i will take anything and i'm praying this lasts for at LEAST another few weeks please
i may not be at a sense of peace right now and i dont know when i ever will be, it could be years, but im so. so. so. so so so thankful to have these characters right now when i've needed someone so badly for so long. i hope ken knows how much i love him ;-; i hope barbie knows how much she has helped me, has saved me from one of my major triggers and has helped me to love and feel safe around the color pink again. i wish they could see me when i'm not so broken but i'm glad they're here even when i'm at my worst, i'm glad they still love me even when they deserve to see me in a much better light
#it feels so fucking terrible not celebrating my bday with my starlight. i used to buy myself cakes and put his figurine next to them#i mean i still have... a little bit over one week... i cant... let it pass by without him being involved somehow#so i might make a quick vent doodle and queue it for the actual day of my bday#i refuse to not draw myself with him at least once for my special day#its not like we 'broke up' or anything but fuck it feels so bad#he's a literal fucking ptsd trigger. how fucking insane is that#im still in shock. im still in shock over what happened to me like i cant fucking believe it#wearing his necklace makes me cry so i just leave it on my dresser#that shouldnt be normal!!!!#but im hoping that shipping with barbie/ken is going to help me feel like i can reclaim control over my ships#bc my abuser made me feel like... i had no control over my TF ships whatsoever for a solid year#so now that i'm finally free of that toxicity i'm still shakily trying to learn how to ship again#i'll have moments where i'll worry ken will try to hurt me on purpose bc im so used to my abuser telling me how abusive any f/o would be#but then i tell myself 'hey what the fuck. this is MY story. NOBODY would abuse me i dont care WHO they are'#but it's so hard to unlearn several months of abuse 😔#and even harder to look at a character who i invested so much time and energy and money into#my voice clips. my cameos. all of my steve blum autographs. my art for steve. all of it feels sad and numbing#not just stsc but everyone in any TF universe feels like... a threat and i get panic attacks when i see very specific characters sometimes#its awful. it hurts so bad. i love ken so much. but nothing compares to what i had with my TF comfort characters#but it's okay bc... ken is holding my hand and he might not understand ptsd at all but he can still squeeze me tight#and six HAS c-ptsd he GETS it. and he's there to hold me when my nightmares make me fall apart. he's my rock#vent#ptsd#sorry it's 5am i had a bad nightmare and now i refuse to sleep again#i fucking hate ptsd i fucking hate living like this i rly wish i knew how to cure myself#im exercising im eating and drinking often im sleeping as much as i can#theres only so much i can do#when does it get better?? when the fuck does it get better? im serious. not rhetorical. when does this finally heal#i dont even know if im healing or if im just distracted... but fuck ill take anything
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