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nothinggold13 · 8 months

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I said in the tags of my recent screencaps of Nick and Daisy dancing, "do you ever think. that all daisy really needed was a friend?" and apparently those tags resonated with more people than I thought they would. Now I think they call for a little elaboration.

On their first meeting in the book, it is established that Nick neither attended Daisy's wedding nor met her baby (who is 3 years old). Daisy says herself, "We don't know each other very well, Nick. Even if we are cousins." And yet in this same scene Daisy says that his arrival has her "paralyzed with happiness" and refers to him as "an absolute rose." She speaks of him and to him as if they are dearly close despite her own admittance that they hardly know each other at all. (Of course, this is easily explained when Nick says, "[She looked] up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had." Daisy has a way of drawing people in, and making them feel important. I'm sure people make different things of this, some positive and some negative, but I won't dwell on it.)

But, perhaps more telling than the way she talks to Nick, is the fact that the first thing Daisy does when she has a moment alone with him is to confide in him. She says, "We don't know each other very well," and then, moments later, begins a story asking, "Would you like to hear?" She says she's grown cynical. She says she felt abandoned. She says — famously — "That's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

And then she laughs it off.

Nick himself calls it insincere, "[...]as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me."

But... I don't know. I've been a Daisy defender since high school, and that's never gone away; Nick's perspective may communicate a lot of truth that we wouldn't know otherwise, but he is not infallible. And, personally, when it comes to the depths of what's going on with Daisy, I think he's rather blind.

Daisy has a philandering husband who a) physically abuses his mistress and b) canonically bruised Daisy in a way she brushes off carelessly but confesses, again, within her first meeting with Nick, so I don't believe it's a big jump to say he's likely been physically abusive towards her, too. And with that in mind, I think it's strange to expect anything Daisy does to be perfectly and infallibly sincere, when, at her core, she is always in a fight for survival.

(It's the same reason I believe she stays with Tom at the end, and lets Gatsby take the blame. Tom is the only security she knows. Gatsby hangs in the balance. She can't run away with him, now.)

So, to get back to my point, I don't think Daisy was being dishonest in her confessions to Nick. I think she was being painfully honest— so painful, in fact, that she had to cover it up with that cynical mask she's gotten so good at wearing. Daisy is not a beautiful little fool; she only wishes she was.

And then Nick appears, and they're not close, but they could be, and she jumps to trust him: to tell him everything she's scared to say aloud: to have him listen. "Would you like to hear?" she asks. It's more than a question. It's a plea.

I think of Daisy knowing her driver's name, and thinking it important to use it. I think of Daisy knowing Jordan's name when they were younger, when Jordan was two years her junior and admired her desperately. I think of Daisy calling Nick "my dearest one" along with every other kind word she ever said to him. I think of Daisy reaching and reaching and reaching, clinging desperately to anyone who might hold on to her.

And they all let her down.

I guess those who see Daisy as disingenuous at her core wouldn't read it this way at all, but I do. I think Daisy loves desperately, trying to fill a hole that is never filled; I think she's looking for someone to save her, and nobody ever cares enough to listen.

Not Jordan. Not Nick. Not even Gatsby, despite his obsession.

And maybe none of them could have saved her, but they could have listened. They could have cared. They could have asked her about the letter that made her nearly call off her wedding to Tom, instead of dressing her up and pushing her to go through with it. They could've supported her, and not gone out to party with her cheating husband and his mistress. They could've stopped asking for too much and accepted the fact she couldn't give it. They could've done something.

Because all Daisy really needed was a friend. And she never truly had one.

#thanks a lot folks now I'm back in my Daisy feels #the great gatsby #daisy buchanan #nick carraway #jordan baker #jay gatsby #tom buchanan #I just think that Daisy and Nick's friendship could've been something #that he could've offered her something #she never could've gotten from Tom or Gatsby #and my heart hurts about it #shoutout to the girl in my english class who accused me of rooting for the villains because I felt for daisy #tom literally exists but yeah let's blame the victim

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iloveboysinred · 6 days

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HIIIIII it's me againe 🏃‍♀️, how are you?? I hope you are doing well and that you are having a good day !!!

I was wondering would it be possible to write a very very very very very sad angst voltron x fem reader (would it be possible to make it a keith x reader, I'm so sorry very time it's him, you can make it for a different character I'd you like 💓💓).

Thank you everytime for making such amazing stories, I literally LOVE READING THEM ALL

MWAH MWAH MWA 💋💋💋

Hiiii always good to receive an ask from you! and thank you for requesting. I love writing these for you and anybody that reads them! MWAAAAAH <33333

Remember me like this [ Keith Kogane]

Keith Kogane x fem reader

synopsis; You had always been there for Keith, as a friend and a shoulder to cry on. What Keith didn't know, was that you had always wanted to be more. When Keith disappears, you're forced to move on. Only for your heart to break all over again when he returns, a war hero and seemingly forgetting all about you.

cw; angst, one sided love, pining, heartbreak ;( Keith being a dick for forgetting about you (so ooc Keith cause we all know he would never) character death!! Lots of curse words, no happy ending, no comfort

For @iamasimpfor2dcharachers 💗

masterlist

When you had heard about the 3 garrison cadets who had broken in to rescue Shiro, a senior pilot who had been sent on the Kerberos mission, you'd immediately guessed Keith was involved. Having been the closest thing to a friend when he had still been enrolled in the Galaxy garrison, you knew the nature of his relationship with Shiro.

He'd confided in you many times about his home life. He's told you about how he's never known his mother, about the death of his father, and how Shiro had taken him in when he was just a pre-teen, guiding him and raising him as his own. You and Keith had slowly grown close, you understood his frustrations, and his seemingly endless anger at the world. You had gotten to know him better, you'd seen the real fragile, broken boy underneath his hot-head "loner" facade. Many times you were by his side, comforting him through the night, holding him close as he wept. Naturally, you had began to develop feelings for the boy, working hard to attempt at healing his bleeding heart. You'd never utter a word of your feelings to him though, knowing that he didn't feel the same way. "He has so much going on already... he shouldn't have to worry about my feelings too", you'd tell yourself, trying to sooth the aching in your heart every time you find yourself leaning towards him, your lips craving the feel of his own.

Keith was a complex person, it was hard to read how he was feeling if he didn't want to let you in. You'd learned that early enough when you met him on the first day of piloting school. "Hey, my name's y/n. I see you're training to be a fighter pilot, me too! I've heard about how great you are from Griffin" you chirped, reaching a hand out to shake his, "I wouldn't take him seriously, he complains so much about you it sounds like he's jealous. I would take that as a compliment. What's your name?" Keith eyed your outstretched hand skeptically, turning his gaze away from you with a scoff. "Keith." he muttered nonchalantly, crossing his arms over his chest. You smiled, grabbing his gloved hand out of his intertwined arms, shaking it fervently. "Nice to meet you, Keith. I hope we'll become friends. Welcome to the team!" Keith stared at you with slightly widened eyes before snatching his hand back and walking away without another word. "Tough cookie to crack.." you thought to yourself amusedly.

From that day on you'd made a point to talk to Keith every day. You complimented his piloting, asked about his day, his favorite things to do in his free time. He never spoke much in the first few weeks of you knowing him, giving you one word answers or grunts in response to your pestering attempt to gain his friendship. "What do you want now, y/n" Keith grumbled as you sat next to him at lunch. He had just come back from suspension after getting in a fist fight with your classmate, James Griffin. It was obvious he wasn't in the best of moods. But he never really was, so it didn't phase you. "I just wanted to tell you that James totally deserved that punch." Keith shot you a surprised look, watching as you nonchalantly unpacked your lunchbox. "He's such a douche. I'm surprised nobody's rocked his shit earlier. I'm sorry for what he said about you." you mumbled over a bite of your sandwich, offering him the other half, seeing as he lacked a lunch box of his own. He shyly took it, taking a small bite out of the corner. You smiled to yourself, eating in silence beside each other.

From that day forward, you got more than a few words out of Keith. You began to visit him at home, bringing with you homemade lunches and board games. You'd truly began to blossom a friendship, telling each other everything, sharing lunches, always in each other's company. It was rare to see Keith without you by his side. He had brought you over to meet Shiro, explaining that he was his only parent figure in his life after his father's passing and his mother's early disappearance in his life. You'd began to bond over your trauma, confiding in him about your strict, loveless household, and him to you about his loneliness and his subconscious need for a family he could belong to.

You still remember your shock when he had dropped out of the Garrison, not too long after Shiro's disappearance. You spent months defending his name, ripping a new one to whoever spoke ill of your best friend. You still visited him often, now his home being the only place you really saw him. You'd bring him food and other necessities, knowing he wasn't taking care of himself besides taking showers and sleeping.

Everyday since the break in, you'd come looking for him at his desert home, and everyday you'd find it empty. Nobody knew where the cadets had gone, searching the premises and the miles surrounding in an attempt to find the fugitives. Eventually, the searching stopped and with it, your daily visits to his abandoned home. You've accepted that Keith was lost, but your aching heart never truly stopped longing for his return. You knew he was out there, somewhere you couldn't see.

After a year, you'd graduated from piloting school, now an official fighter pilot for the galaxy garrison. You'd stood rigid as they handed you your uniform after the ceremony. It felt like something was missing, and you knew that something was Keith. Your accomplishment felt bittersweet. Sure, you had graduated at the top of your class, but that was surely only because Keith had dropped out. Everyone knew Keith was the best pilot on your team, and it didn't sit well with you how you had filled in his place. You brushed the thoughts off, you needed to move on. Keith was gone and you needed to resume your life, just as you had before you met him.

So, you'd continued your life as a garrison pilot. Training new cadets, and doing daily drills in garrison space vessels. Your life was fulfilling you suppose, but you never felt more alone. You'd skipped lunches with the other pilots, opting to eat by yourself in your room, you barley even spoke to anybody, only responding when spoken to or when given an order. As hard as you tried to enjoy life, nothing was the same anymore.

Obviously, the universe had a weird way of working things. When the Galra attacked earth, defeated by the infamous paladins of Voltron, your heart skipped a beat when you'd seen him in the cafeteria. His hair had gotten longer, he looked older, which didn't surprise you, it had been years since you'd last seen him. He had a jarring scar going from his cheek and coming to a sharp point right by his eye, and you wondered briefly what trouble he had gotten in.

You felt all the old emotions rushing back to you, but you also felt angry at him. He had left without so much as a goodbye, and here he was, being praised and awarded without sparing you so much as a single glance. He didn't know the pain he had caused you, and he certainly didn't seem to care. You marched right up to him, eyes glistening with tears you refused to let fall. "So that's what you've been doing these last few years, you ASSHOLE!" you hissed, showing your face up to his, standing nose to nose with the taller man. Keith looked at you, bewildered and seemingly not knowing who the fuck you were. You stared into his eyes, confusion clouding his, anger pain and..love swimming in yours. "What are you talking about...do I even know you!?" he snapped back, getting over his initial shock and shoving you backwards. Keith didn’t recognize the grown ass woman yelling at him, but something felt familiar about you, the way you cussed him out, the furious glint in your eye. He knew he had seen you before, but where? He stared at you hard, trying to get his brain to connect the dots. "Oh so you don't remember me now? it's been fucking years since you left and now you don't know who I am? you're a real class act, Keith. I can't fucking believe you right now..." your words had begun to get shaky, the tears becoming almost too much to hold back. "I guess you were too busy parading around space in a fucking robot lion to even have a second thought about me!" by now a crowd was forming, but you didn't care. You were gonna get this off your chest, no matter how people looked at you afterwards.

"What, you got amnesia now? you left me here, you dick! you didn't even say goodbye, did our friendship mean nothing to you-" "What the fuck are you even talking about right now?!" you can tell he was agitated both from your confrontation and the unwanted attention from bystanders. "What am I talking about? I'm talking about how I used to be the only one there for you! you were my only friend and you left Keith. You left without a care and now you don't even know who I am." you let your tears free fall, your pain deepening at the utter look of cluelessness on his face. "y/n, that's enough. back off." you whipped around to see Iverson, who had broken up the crowd and now fixed you with a stern look. You sniffled and shot Keith one last furious look. Brushing past Iverson when you whipped around and stormed off.

“Y/n…?” Keith whispered, his eyes wide in disbelief. How could he be so stupid? Of course it was you! He felt his breath leave his lungs as he watched your retreating form. He flinched when Lance slapped his hand over his shoulder, pulling him into his side and grinning ear to ear. “Wow Keith, i didnt know you had the ladies down for you like that! I must’ve really rubbed off on you, huh? “ “Oh fuck off, Lance!” Keith snapped, shoving him off, speed walking in direction you had gone. But you were nowhere to be found, and Keith felt guilt settle in his stomach.

From that day Keith only saw you in passing. It was like you never even knew he was there. Every time you scoffed at him when he tried to talk to you he felt his chest tighten. He tried every way he knew how to try and get you to talk to him again, expressing his remorse by leaving you homemade lunches at your door in the mornings, to trying to pair up with you during flight drills. But you ignored him every time. It was messing with him, but he knew he deserved it. He deserved every cold glance, every shoulder bump you'd purposely given him when you walked past. But that fact hurt him even more.

But then, he found you in the cafeteria, sitting by yourself and picking at your lunch. He let out a breath to ready himself, walking over to you. You gave him a quick glance before looking back down at your lunch box, debating if you should leave. “Y/n I-“ “what do you want Keith? Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” You snapped, slamming your fork down on the metal table. Keith’s lips pursed in a line, feeling his frustration, hot and bubbling over. “I wanted to say i’m sorry, I-I didn’t recognize you… you looked different!” He tried to explain, but you didn’t care. It sounded like a whole bunch of excuses to you. “Okay, you didn’t recognize me.” You gritted out, refusing to look at him, staring down at your clenched fists on the table. “You didnt recognize me, because you left, Keith! You left and didnt even think to say goodbye. I had to finish flight school without you. I had to deal with all the bullshit you left behind, without YOU. Now you show up after disappearing and everyone throws you a fucking parade. What about me, huh? You were so caught up in your own shit you forgot all about me. I was there for you, I LOVED YOU!” You yelled, whipping around to face him. “I loved you ever since we were 16.. and you didn’t have a clue cause all you cared about was your problems and yourself! So yeah, i dont want to hear apologies, i actually never want to see your stupid fucking face, ever. again.” You seethed, grabbing your lunch and storming off, leaving Keith broken and speechless.

Then, it happened. During a flight drill your space vessel had malfunctioned, crashing into the ground from your high position in the sky. Alarms bleared throughout the base, officers and pilots rushing out to see the catastrophe. Keith shoved people aside, barging to the front of the crowd. He had rushed to the scene after conversing with Admiral Sanda, when a trainee had come in to relay the news. He fell to his knees when his eyes fell on your broken body, being hauled out of the space vessel, now destroyed and smoking behind you. Keith's body felt frozen to the ground as the medics hauled you through the crowd. Everything was moving in slow motion, the crowd dispersing and conversing amongst themselves in shock. His heart felt like it was beating once per minute. He looked around but he couldn’t see, the smoke causing his vision to blur and his lungs to burn. He had to get up, he had to look for you.

Tears welled in his eyes when he had found you in the med bay, your breaths faint and getting weaker by second. If he couldn’t recognize you then, he definitely couldn’t now. There you lay, in a hospital gown with bandages covering the entirety of your body. Your face bruised and bloody. He sat down beside you, holding your stiff hand in his. Your skin felt cold, the life inside you rapidly fading. He had known your condition before he came, the nurses telling him that you were a lost cause, that they did everything they could to help you pass comfortably. But grief still brewed in his heart, it's iron grip making it hard to breathe as he stared at your closed eyelids. "I'm so sorry, y/n" he whispered, bringing your cold hand to his lips. "I should've brought you with me, I never forgot you, i never stopped loving you. Don’t go, please, Not like this." his whimpers escalated, sobs racking his body as leaned over to hug you, at least remaining careful enough to not move you too much. "You're my best friend... I never even got the chance to tell you..I-i love you. Forgive me. Please." but his pleading fell on deaf ears. The only sound in the room being the continuous beep of a flatlined heart monitor, and his sobs. A part of him died with you that night, and he knew that he would never forgive himself.

hope you enjoyed, this made me a little sad ;( sorry if it was mid, I'm not used to writing angst. notes and reblogs are appreciated, comments, asks, submissions are welcomed!

#{anonask ੈ✩‧₊˚ ฅ^. .^ฅ}#vld keith #❥iloveboysinred #keith kogane #angst #vld keith x reader #voltron x reader #vld x reader #voltron angst #voltron legendary defender

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pigeonwit · 8 months

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hullo pidge!

ive got three for you: ✄ , ✦, ♡. i already forgot what each of them means, but i trust that you can check the list and know. (for the one thats about comments u can choose what fic its for xx)

also notre dame by paris paloma as vice vermin virtue is so accurate literally everytime i hear that song i think of triple v

sneep you really feed my need to just talk about things all the time and i love it thank you so much for feeding my inane ramblings.

✄ what’s your editing process?

,,, yknow i dont think i really have one? like for oneshots and stuff i just sort of write it all down and try to see if it all Works for the character's POV and the story i want to tell. i try to break it up into segments so i can look over it piece by piece instead of slogging through the whole thing afterwards (cause i hate that and hating it makes me rush through it and that's how i make mistakes) but that's kind of it - for oneshots at least. for stories that i intend to keep adding to i want to make sure everything's followable, like character motivations and mental states and etc etc, so i go scene by scene and REALLY scrape over it. i have a bit in rbr4 that i've revisited at least eight times now because it's just not QUITE getting davey's motivations down the way i want. and then once i'm done analysing all those sections and fitting them together, i normally go to @rebuke-me for beta-ing just to make sure everything's flowing in an understandable way. i don't really do first and second drafts because i've already been drafting every scene bit by bit, so when i'm all done i just proofread as best i can and send it off to jupes if she's not too busy. unfortunately i do occasionally make some little mistakes (repeating a word or phrase too much, mixing up my metaphors, some small grammar stuff, etc) and i have a PROBLEM of getting too bogged down in little details that don't matter, but fanfictions a hobby, not a profession, and treating it like a profession is always what ruins it for me, so i prefer my casual editing process. it's not perfect, but i wouldn't be enjoying myself if it was.

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

ayyy this is. hm. probably 'matches' since it was so short, and i had the idea just kind of pop into my head fully formed. it's literally just one snippet of jack and davey's lives so it was pretty easy to get down. and the hardest is absolutely 'run boy run'. it's every single davey thought i've ever had written into a loveletter to my own autistic experience, which is... taxing, and on top of that it's a bit of a struggle to keep davey's motivations and character clear without projecting too much of myself onto him. but it's my baby and i love it dearly, and even if i don't get it all out perfectly it's still going to be my most treasured fic.

♡ pick a fic and I’ll pick a comment that made me really happy

without a doubt this goes to the comment left by ao3 user 'tablesaltiv' on 'say you came on first (i think you came on fine)' - it's too long for me to feel comfortable putting it in this post, and honestly i'd feel a little vain even if i did, but it's probably the most reassuring comment i've ever gotten. i stopped writing fanfiction when i was around sixteen/seventeen due to a very VERY big personal spiral and didn't post any again until i was twenty. i was REALLY scared of posting 'say you came on first' because it was probably the most character-studyish thing i'd ever done before, and i was. very stupidly paranoid that i had completely misunderstood the characters and should just call it quits again - and then tablesaltiv left their very lovely comment saying that having seen the show live themselves, my fic felt entirely accurate. it was incredibly reassuring for me and filled me with a lot of confidence, and even though i know i'm never going to understand these characters FLAWLESSLY, i at least feel confident enough to think that i understand them well - and now i'm still here and writing a very ambitious fic that i'm worrying about a LOT, but i'm determined to finish anyways :) thank you tablesaltiv

(also - i know i can't REALLY count this since it's not on a fic like the ask game said but i have to say thank you to YOU, sneep, for saying that you think about one of my own silly little fanfics every time you listen to a song?? that's crazy to me. i can't believe that. that's so kind and meaningful in ways i can't put into words. like. holy shit my fic exists in your brain. i can't believe that. so yeah that made me extra happy too fshhs)

#sneep you are an incredibly encouraging person and hearing from you is wonderful :))#newsies #ask #sneepsnoopboopideeboop #long post #fic thoughts

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thejediandthemandalorian · 7 months

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Fic Writer 20 Questions

I was tagged by @texasdreamer01 😊

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

9, though some of them are only visible if you're logged in.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

64,757, not a lot but there's nothing wrong with that.

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Star wars, lots of Star Wars. I think I wrote for Yuri!!! On Ice before? I used to write for Marvel, I did a little bit of Phantom of the Opera (very little), I have some unpublished Avatar the Last Airbender fics, and I am currently writing for Our Flag Means Death 🤭 I hope around depending on what I feel/am hyperfixating on, but ultimately it always comes back to Star Wars.

4.) What are your top five pics by kudos?

Fighting For Your Power - one of my first published Star Wars fics. Definitely not my favorite and also unfinished, a common occurrence with my ever changing brain.

If I Could Hold You For a Minute (Darling, I'd do it Again.) - Codywan. A little hurt comfort thing that takes place after the Rako Hardeen incident

Orbital Decay - another Codywan fic, probably my longest posted fic at this point in time.

And cowboy is his name - a short little bobadin cowboy au that I'm thinking of adding more onto, whether it's little snippets or an actual story is to be seen.

To Be A Good Soldier - a Commander Cody fic, kinda my own little headcanon as to how he got his scar.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, it just takes me a while to get there. I'm always a little slow on the up taking. I reply to comments because someone took a brief moment of their time after reading my story to let me know their thoughts, and it means the world to me, so the least I can do is respond to their comments.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A fic that no longer is on AO3 🙈 I took it down after a couple years of like....no one reading it, and decided to keep it to myself, like a dragon. The story is hurt comfort without any of the comfort lol. Poor poor Garashir, doomed by the narrative and also me.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooooh let me think. Recently they all have happy endings because I myself need one. Uhhhhhh. Probably Orbital Decay. My babies get together very tentatively at the end.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Ehhh my fics don't get seen by a wide enough audience I think. The only 'hate' I've ever gotten was someone demanding me tag something, but it wasn't even very hateful so. No I guess not.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Once upon a long time ago, but I haven't in ages and frankly it makes me uncomfortable to write, always has.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't, it's not something that holds my interest.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of...😳

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No sir-y

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes and no? It's a collaborative fic, but I'm not the one writing it, I just had the base idea and give more ideas for the concept and squeal and cry over it.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

It changes with the tides, but how can I pick one set of my beloveds over another?

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them. Lol uhh I really really wanna get the Codywan AU fic written, but I'm at a point where I currently don't have it in me, I don't have much writing in me at all right now.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I love dialogue. I've also been told, and I have to trust what people tell me, that I'm very descriptive and also know how to write a fight scene.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Lack of confidence in my skills. Inability to finish what I've started. Making sure I'm keeping people in character, and also I tend to lack in the plot department.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Well, I think so long as you...ugh this one is tricky cause I don't know how to phrase it. I like to write in other languages in very very small doses. A little smattering here and there. But also, I feel like it's important to know the language you're writing in or consult someone who does for accuracy? Idk how to explain it.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel. Marvel. And more Marvel. I had a very long story (with no actual plot) posted to a different site, and then took to writing people's requests for Marvel ship fics for a time.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Uhhh idk To Be a Good Soldier? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it will be the little OFMD fic idea I had, but who knows.

Softly nudging @poibynt @missypup @frostbitebakery and anyone else who might like to do this

#tag game #20 questions #fic writer #star wars #codywan #bobadin #sad but true lol

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nuclearforest · 2 years

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Hello phrend. 😎 2deep4me writer asks:

What's the fic you're most proud of?

13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

15. How do you think your writing has improved over time?

Thank u for the ask!! Makes me very happy and lets me ramble abt stuff!

1, Honestly hard to say. Like, I'm proud of One Dog Night because it was the first thing I ever posted and like, really snowballed me into doing more and putting myself out there more. But on the other hand, Month to Love a Werewolf is the first multi-chapter piece I finished! And now Sirens' Guard Dog is on the way. I think those are my big three-- but as far as picking one goes?

It's really hard to say. I can't pick my favorite child lol.

13, Depends on if it is anon online or IRL.

Online? hell yeah i'm proud of being fully unhinged for my blorbo. almost at 350k in 2 years and like. ~300k of that is hans. my really sad sack awful blorbo who i love with all my little heart. stinky, stupid wolfman with a flair for the dramatic.

But IRL? I am a professional with a career you wouldn't catch me dead bringing up writing or fanfic in public. like, my folks asked me once over a holiday why I was on my laptop and what i was writing and i immediately had to bullshit that it was some stupid literary analysis to keep my skills sharp when, uh, it was really werewolf smut. very, very close to being busted but they aren't curious enough to press and i'm a fool not a coward.

THE ONLY EXCEPTION is when i am around those friends that are my enablers and don't care lmao. They think it's funny and it's on brand. Alternatively it's just one facet of the strange little gremlin they've let into their lives. I mean well--promise.

14, yeah. like, healthy or not i'm always out here comparing myself in both good ways and bad. some for learning new styles and tricks and broadening my horizons, but some for like. competitive purposes. and there's nothing to be competitive about but i've been in competitive schooling all my life and for a kid who grew up with little self confidence feeding on the praise of being "gifted" it really sticks with you. so there are many a conscious reminder that it's all for fun. that i shouldn't stress and that it's for me, even if some of that is a lie (i mean, come on--sometimes i'll write shit to brighten somebody's day but generally it's whatever catches my fancy).

but like, old habits die hard and i'm hungry for kudos and comments lmao. usually it doesn't get bad but if it does, i just bury my head in a different crafty pile of sand.

15, I HAVE A TIMELINE. we'll summarize it as exponential improvement and development tho lol.

nobody here will see the shit i wrote in middle school. we're talking paper journal self insert fic that i wrote chapters and chapters of (granted these were like, 100-ish words a chapter). talk about humble beginnings.

move to highschool and i have some fanfic and also a bit of OC work that I share in my school's creative writing club (bruh I STILL wasn't sharing fanfic).

in college I didn't write much. too busy under an engineering course load but i have a few things here and there. mostly fun little snippets of fluff to keep myself occupied.

but that said, now that i'm working and trying to live my best life, i've definitely gotten better in coherent plotlines, length, and fleshing out the details. i still have all the old stuff (even the paper journals, somewhere) and a decade+ later it's meteoric improvement lol. when i wrote One Dog Night that was the longest single story I'd written by a mile. and now i'm on a long chapter work i've updated weekly since i started it following an outline. i'm boggling my own mind.

but that said: i've always been creative and colorful, have not always been able to actually finish a story. funny enough, i've also never had a formal, regular beta and something tells me that won't change soon. (altho sometimes I do ask for a second set of eyes-- so thanks to y'all that have done it for me!)

can't wait to see how i keep growing!

#thanks for the ask #mun rambles

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foggyparadisecandy · 5 months

Text

Foggy 2.0

Just a recap of the good things that have happened in the last two+ months since my partner split.

It's been a lot tbh ...

I've reconnected with RL friends that I have not seen since pre-COVID. I forgot how fun some of these idiots are. lol

I've made a crapton of new friends online. I love hearing people's stories and ... ngl ... damages. I feel comfort in other people's pains and struggles. It makes me understand that we all have challenges. Life goes on.

I've met a very special, interesting woman who is combination supportive and challenging - calling out my bullshit one moment and encouraging my insanity the next. Who could ask for anything better from a friend?

I lost ten pounds ... somewhat unhealthily at first because I wasn't eating ... but it's all good. I wanted to get a bit thinner so ... yeah! I'm happy about this for the most part.

I have recharged my work life for the first time in a decade. Still got some ways to go but I've set a huge goal for next year and my goal is to knock it out of the park. I want to make a shit ton of money to create some sort of trauma relief or self-help resources for hurting people. Possibly military specific resources. Not sure yet. I have time to figure it out.

I'm sorting through parental damages that have plagued me my entire life. IDK if this will ever get sorted - it's been in me for a long time but I'm going to do my best to process it in a healthy way so I can minimize the damages and recognize the symptoms of unhealthy behaviors. I've been pretty low on myself my entire life lol ... "low" is an understatement. haha. Either way ... working on it now!

I'm exercising a good amount. It's kind of boring but also ... I find it to be meditative when I get in the zone. Plus I'm seeing muscles that I haven't seen for a looooong time. lol. I'm not vain but it does help with my self-confidence to feel in a decent shape.

My home life isn't better necessarily but there is a lot more transparency and open-ness. Honestly this hasn't been on my top 10 things I've even given a shit about working on for a long time. Still isn't. There is more to life than mere existence, dear readers. It's ok to want more and be honest with yourself and your partner(s).

I've been more open with people about my pain and depression. I've made some strong connections with people who have taken my authenticity as an opportunity to express their own challenges. I think mental health is a dirty dangerous secret and I'm ok with putting it out there and giving people the courage to do the same.

I've gotten to know a lot more about myself through reading and talking with a lot of those damaged folks I've met online and in RL. lol. I am learning new things all the time - really stretching myself to grow and evolve. Hard fucking work and I have a long way to go but ... I really am enjoying it.

I feel ... stronger in all ways. More capable. More clear-headed. I have desires like I haven't for a very long time. Desires to achieve more with my life. Do more. Help more people. Make a difference.

I feel better about myself and who I am. No matter what struggles I have with self-image, it's been ... heart-warming ... to hear people tell me about kindnesses small and large that I've done for them over the years in an effort to remind me of who I am. It's ... IDK ... I guess karma is a real thing. I'm a pretty kind and nice person and I've put out a lot of love to people in need. I didn't do it for gain, but it sure is nice to hear people paying it back and giving me ego boosts here and there.

I love and I forgive. I am working on setting boundaries - I don't understand them. I know that. But also I'm talking with my therapist about figuring out a balance here. If I choose to love you, I'm going all in and loving you hard. I'm ok with being kind and supportive. I'm ok with forgiving those I love. I feel they deserve it and I think too many people haven't had enough love or forgiveness in their lives. I don't see my approach as weakness. It's strength.

I was blessed by being part of my former partner's life for as long as she allowed it. It was fucking amazing. She was so open and lovely about everything. Open to trying things. She taught me so much about myself and life. It's funny ... she always had the control ... I knew that and ... as much as it hurt me the way she exercised it (she could have done it differently fr but I forgive 100%) ... I hope she understands it and it gives her comfort - she has power and control even in the submissive role in a relationship. Good thing to keep in mind.

I was blessed that my partner was so brave and strong and showed me how someone with such a tough start to life could perservere and rise to the occasion. It inspired me tbh. It's one of the primary things that made me fall for her. Yeah ... she's got some work to do ... who doesn't? But she's got the core characteristics to succeed in life. She'll go far. I believe in her.

I was extremely fortunate that she reached out and helped ease so many of my fears over her well-being. I honestly can't thank her enough. I feel a million times better. My worry for her was crushing me. My worry that I had hurt her. My worry that she would be killed. So many small worries that she put to rest. I know how hard that was for her to do. She confirmed my belief in her character - even if she probably still doesn't see what I see. I have faith that if she keeps going, she'll get there. I believe in her. Yeah ... I repeated that. My blog so ... suck it.

I 100% Achievements on Binding of Isaac. There were 99 Achievements - I'm taking this as a win! I had started playing this right before the split and I couldn't find the motivation to start a new game so this was a good one to be immersed in ... 400+ hours to distract myself from stuff. Good times.

There's dozens of other small things, here and there.

I won't go so far as expressing gratitude for the break-up but I feel that it's woken me up to more possibilities in my life and ... yeah ... fuck it ... I guess there is some gratitude in there after all.

I'm ok with that.

#catharsis #self love #self care

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mrbexwrites · 6 months

Note

Happy Storyteller Saturday, Mo!

Have you ever had a moment when you thought to yourself ‘oh shit, I'm not qualified to write this part’ – whether it was about the content or the writing craft itself?

How did you get past it?

Hey Sam :) Happy STS and thanks for the ask! I have so many 'oh shit' moments, and being an anxious person in general, I constantly worry about whether or not I am qualified to tell the stories that I write.

A lot of my writing anxiety comes from including characters from different backgrounds to my own. I want my books to be inclusive, but being a cis, white woman, I worry that I'm not the person to be writing the stories of my characters from the LGBTQ+, or non-white communities. I try to do as much research as I can into any community's culture and customs, so as not to do a disservice to them, but all the research in the world (and any good intentions that I may have) are nothing to people's lived experiences.

So I often see-saw between whether or not I should be writing characters from a different background to myself.

I'm a strong believer that people are people, no matter who you are and are where you come from. We all have the same foibles, and I like to think that my character's have their own personalities, motivations, likes etc. I (hope) they would be able to stand on their own, rather than coming across as just cardboard cutout stereotypes, or tokens...but not being from a minority group, I worry that I'm still doing them a disservice, and have just fallen into my own fallacies/biases/white privilege etc into even trying to write these characters.

I don't think I've ever gotten over this anxiety, but I want to keep writing characters, because, well...they exist in the real world. I don't want to live in a boring, homogeneous society with no variety, and I don't want to write fantasy worlds that are boring and homogeneous.

I try to soothe my anxiety by trying to do my research and focusing on the characters being people rather than caricatures, but ultimately, I'm never going to be able to fully capture the nuances of being in the LGBTQ+ community, or coming from a different background other than my own.

If I were to ever attempt to publish, I'd want sensitivity readers to point out any blindspots that I have so that I correct them.

So, even though I worry about getting it wrong, I'm going to keep including diverse characters, because I grew up reading books by boring, white men, about boring, white men. And I want to be part of the change that I'd like to see.

And I'm hoping that if I do make a glaringly obvious/offensive mistake, that I'm approachable enough, and big enough, to realise my mistake, and learn from it, when it's pointed out to me.

So, yeah, that's my writing anxiety, and it's something that I worry about constantly! Thankfully, only handful of people have read my WIPs, and I don't think I'll ever be confident enough to publish in any form, so I don't know why I even worry about it tbh!

#sts #answered asks #general worries about people reading my stuff when they'll never read it!!

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sharinganqueen22 · 7 months

Text

1x1 The Originals RP

RULES:

Rules:

1: if you don't like 50/50 mixture of sex scenes and story, don't bother hopping into my inbox. I'm fine with sex scenes, but when it's constantly back to back, the roleplay itself gets boring.

2: Be literate. No one liners. I like to write..it's annoying when I send a 2-3 paragraph response and I get 3 lines...just...no. I am not accepting people who are just starting out! If you aren't experienced in writing or roleplaying, kindly stay out of my inbox.

3: Be okay with playing canon characters. I'm mainly doing fandom roleplays right now and it's going to be Canon x my oc. No, I'm not doing double ups. Do not even ask, because the answer will be no every time. I do not give a shit if you think that makes me 'lazy' or 'selfish', if you've got a problem, you can simply ignore or block me. Commenting on my post to bitch and whine about me not doubling up will only result in me blocking you. The ONLY time I'll double up, and if I'm confident enough, I'll only do female characters. I suck at males. Got a problem? Not my issue. Block and move on.

4: Roleplay in third person. I can't and won't adapt to first. Don't even bring up the idea of you playing first person and me playing third. Believe it or not, I've been asked this twice and that is just a hell no for me. The only time I do first, is when I'm writing into my book.

5: if you don't know how to share ideas, then don't bother messaging me. I'm tired of carrying the story when the other person doesn't help. If you've got ideas, then PLEASE speak up! Your opinion on the roleplay matters too! I'm an easy going person, and easy to get along with (dispite my rules).

6: DO NOT control my character. I control what she says, does, hears, sees, ect. I don't control yours, so don't control mine. HOWEVER, if it's highly necessary and needed, then run it by me first and ask me. Just leave me some wiggle room so I can make a decent response. Failure to comply by this rule, results in immediate drop of the rp.

P.L.O.T

Klaus Mikaelson, the name that could bring fear to any man, woman, or even a child if they had heard his stories about what all he has done while walking on the face of this planet....everyone was terrified of the man...everyone except for Callie. She had saw something inside him, something nobody else saw and wouldn't run from him, no matter how many times he tried to convince her, that he was the devil himself.

It all started one day at a formal party she was forced to attend by her friends. While she was standing there bored as could be, she noticed that some of the originals, were staying right at her. Ignoring the looks, she just proceeded with whatever she was doing, which was minding her own business. That was until klaus came up, and asked her to dance. She granted his request, and the two danced the night away, both of them falling for one another.

Months went on as the two kept seeing each other. Even with the rumors and stories about him were flying around and spreading like wild fire, she wouldn't listen...she stuck to his side and never once saw him as the monster everyone claimed he was. Two years go by as the two were still happy as could be. She kept him out of trouble, and he was her protector. Klaus finally popped the question and had asked her to marry him, of course, Callie was over the moon for the man and said yes.

Everything was perfect. She loved klaus with every fiber of her being, and had gotten extremely close to his siblings. Although, she had a secret of her own....the secret? She was pregnant with his child...that night, she was planning on telling him the good news, that the man she had fallen deeply in love with, was going to be a father. However, things took a turn for the worse when she overheard him talking to someone, claiming that he didn't love her, and never would. Hearing those words shattered her heart into nothing.. all she knew was that she had to leave. She pretended to be fine for the rest of the night until everyone was asleep.

The moment everyone was asleep, she vanished and faked her own dead due to being a witch, never to be seen, or heard from again. While her heart was still breaking over and over again like a broken record that wouldn't stop, she seeked help from the one person klaus feared the most....Mikael Mikaelson. She had told him what had happened, and begged him to use compulsion on her, to make her forget about klaus and everyone else in his family. With Mikael knowing what great pain this would cause klaus, he gladly did what she asked, and wiped her memory clean.

Four months had gone by since that tragic day. Callie had made sure that she had covered her tracks before she had Mikael erase everything. She is now four months pregnant with the hybrids baby, living in mystic falls and working at the local bar/grill. What happens when klaus happens to be in the town of mystic falls and sees that the woman he loved is still alive? Will she run from him? Or will she be forced to remember the heart breaking past she tried so desperately hard to forget?

S.T.A.R.T.E.R

Dark clouds set over the small town of mystic falls as it thunders in the background and starts pouring down rain. Callie would heave out a soft sigh as her ice blue eyes look out the window, water droplets slowly rolling down the glass. "Great....looks like I'm walking to work...." She said softly underneath her breath and puts on her. work uniform.

Callie grabs her oversized hoodie and slips it over her four month old baby bump and pulls her hood up over her head. "Ima strangle matt....he could've given me a lift..." She said to herself and walked out of her house, locking the front door. Thankfully, she didn't live far from the grill, so it shouldn't be that bad...or so she thought. 15 minutes go by as she walks into the bar soaked. Matt turns his head to say something, followed by a chuckle about ready to come out, that was until Callie quickly shot him the 'shut the fuck up or I'll beat you with a pool noodle' look. The glare seemed to work as he quickly looked away.

Callie walks over behind behind the bar and goes into the back. The moment she steps foot to the back, the door opens, revealing the two most dangerous people of the originals. ...klaus, and Elijah. The color quickly drained out of Matts face, trying to figure out how to get Callie out without her being spotted. Course, that idea didn't go as he hoped cause Callie walks back out, wearing a dry uniform she stole in the back that was 10x her size.

"Good thing I told you to keep spare uniforms. Mine was drenched." She had laughed lowly while Matt remained silent, keeping his eyes on the two originals. Not knowing what was going on, or why Matt was acting strange, she doesn't think anything of it and looks at Elijah and klaus, flashing her usual kind smile she'd give anyone. "Excuse my friend, he isn't normally that silent....what can I get for you two?" She tilted her head to the left out of curiosity, awaiting an answer, but dispite the memory loss, she couldn't help shake the feeling of the fear that was running through her veins while the tiny hairs on the back of her neck was standing straight up.

#roleplay #discord rp #fandom rp #rp #romance #mature rp #multifandom rp

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aquaticsoul · 1 year

Text

A Job Offer

Short piece of writing because I felt like it. Also @shiroi---kumo 's mun is continuously feeding my brain little nuggets of inspiration. I'll figure out a tag later!

A whole week, he's been gone. Only just recently 25, barely a grown adult, and he's been gone a full week.

Siipi is starting to wonder if that boy's ever going to come back. Misterica isn't typically too dangerous, and her son is known for leaving for a day or two at a time anyway, but... still, her heart wonders if he's out there injured somewhere. Sydän insists he's fine, he has to be, and Sade refuses to acknowledge the possibility he isn't. Everyone copes in their own ways, she supposes.

Dinner still does not feel right without Sielu. She sets everything out on the table. His seat is empty, unmoved from its place where usually it would be eagerly filled with a happy, talkative boy who has so many stories about his day that everyone else is unsure how he has enough time to experience all these things.

"Have you found anything at all, Sade?" she asks.

"Not yet. He's playing games at this point, I'm sure," the purple-haired Misterican replies, taking up a spot across from their daughter.

"I hope he's not gotten sick. Or hurt."

"He's fine, mother," Sydän insists, though even her voice lacks some of its typical certainty.

They eat in silence. The worry is palpable.

Just as they're each finishing, the door opens and there is a blur of blue barreling into their home.

"Don't be mad, I've got an explanation!" he starts, joining everyone at the table.

"You'd best be giving it then, Aqua Sielu! I have been worried sick over you!" Siipi retorts. "You didn't even leave a note or anything!"

"Job requirements, mother! Job requirements, I've got-"

"What job makes you stay gone for a whole week?!"

The boy's grin only makes her all the more frustrated. It's not mischevious, though it certainly feels that way with how he seems to see nothing wrong with his prolonged absence.

"Do you just want me to tell Lord Aurinko and Lady Kuu that I won't be staying when they ask, then?"

"You're joking," Sydän says, her hands pressed atop the table as she leans forward on it. "Sielu, you've got to be joking, you haven't met the King. You're joking."

"Oh, but I have! I've been in the palace this whole time. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Even more on the inside. Truly one of the Celestial Mother's greatest blessings. Acoustically, too! It carries songs like they were meant to be played there."

Sade is next to speak, and Siipi cannot help but be grateful because she knows if no one cuts Sielu off then he will never get to his point. "But what is the job, son? And how did you get into the palace?"

Sielu only brightens up even more, his eyes alight with nearly-contagious excitement. "I was playing a street performance. I suppose somebody heard and enjoyed it, because next thing I knew I was brought in as a suggested music tutor but the trial period was a week and included socializing over dinner and by the time dinner was over with every day it was a bit late to be flying all the way back here, so... that's where I've been."

Silence falls over the room as everyone tries to take in what exactly that means.

"But I thought tutors were lifelong?" Sydän asks. "Prince Usva isn't that young, is he?"

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not teaching Prince Usva, isn't it?" Sielu continues smiling, leaning all the way back in his chair with his arms folded confidently over his chest.

If anyone could charm their way into a palace job with an easy grin and humble confidence, it makes sense for it to be Sielu.

Still, though, if he isn't teaching the elder Eclipse prince...

Sade seems to be the only one able to break out of shock-induced silence. "Are you trying to say you're teaching the Child of White?"

"Prince Valkoinen Pilvi, I certainly am. He's delightful. He's the sweetest, tiniest little guy in all of Misterica and he already sings so well! I can't wait to hear what he'll sound like even just a week from now."

The anger is gone just as fast as it appeared. Siipi is rushing over to him, pulling him out of his chair and into her arms to squeeze her son tight. Sade and Sydän aren't far behind her.

"This is amazing news, Sielu!" she nearly yells.

"You want to hear even better news?"

Sade laughs from behind his wife - a joyous sound that really should be heard more often. "Can it even get better at this point, son?"

"He didn't like the dance tutor at all, or so I've heard. The man lasted only a day into his trial and the poor boy left in tears. I don't want to even begin to imagine what Eversti Tulet did to him, but anyway, that position is open. And I thought, you know, Sydän is such a great dancer-"

"You recommended me to the Royal Family?!"

"- so I recommended her to the Royal Family and they would like to speak with her."

Silence, again, for a full moment before Siipi can begin to speak.

"I am so proud of you. But Sielu?"

"Yes, mother?"

"Do not ever make me worry like that again!"

"Yes, mother."

#some uhh notes! mistericans aren't adults at 18 #they're adults at 25 #i'll attach the art that inspired this once it is done #sielu loves that kid #that's his son (not really)#future relationship tag for sydän will be added as well #yeehaw #this is not a serious piece of writing btw #obviously #i wrote this like half asleep ahsdkejsksskdh #r ; maamuna [ pilvi ]#arc ; sing dear bird (misterica)

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maijobi · 3 years

Text

comfort

megumi fushiguro x reader

summary: you land in the hospital because of the first dangerous mission after your high school graduation and megumi beats himself up with the fact that he couldn’t save you on time. so as a tribute to that he visited you every day. but was guilt really the only reason for him putting this much effort for you?

a/n: I originally wrote this story for gojo,, but something about this reminded me of megumi, so I changed it to megumi and honestly I'm happy I changed it. I enjoy writing for gojo because his personality is so fun to write with, but something about megumi fit this perfectly. enjoy reading!!

————————————————————————

you were sitting on the hospital bed, peeling a tangerine that was in the fruit basket that your colleagues had brought. you looked out the window and watched the wind blow the leafs off of the trees. throwing a piece of the tangerine in your mouth, you chewed on the fruit and accidentally allowed a little bit of the juice to slip through your throat, making you cough lightly.

“careful.”

you turned your head from the window to the door that was opened by fushiguro himself. you looked uninterested at him and threw your hand in the air, as if to wave at him.

“don’t want you dying on a tangerine”, he said, genuinely worried.

“dude, it’s just tangerine juice. how wrong could that have gone?”, you asked, turning your gaze back to the window.

you weren’t really paying attention to the trees anymore, only because the old couple that was sitting on a bench seemed a little bit more interesting. it looked like they were having exciting conversation. the woman was waving her hands and had a smile on her face while the man was looking at her with admiration.

“yes, it was also just a mission but look at you now”, he said, walking to the window and closing the curtains, blocking the sunlight which had unknowingly blinded you. he hadn’t noticed you looking outside so when he closed the curtains you turned your gaze to fushiguro.

“did you really just compare a deadly mission to a tangerine?”, you asked, raising an eyebrow.

he let out a sigh, earning a chuckle from you. he had been here visiting you almost every day. you weren’t sure why he did, but after your investigation you figured he did it out of guilt. out of guilt of not being able to protect you. he felt like making it up to you. you could be wrong, but this seemed like the most possible explanation.

he sat down on the chair next to your bed and took the fruit basket. slowly he peeled the apple that he took out of there and sliced them into even pieces.

“you liked apples right?”, he asked. but he already knew the answer so responding didn’t seem necessary. not that he was expecting you to.

he placed the plate on your lap and gave you a toothpick to eat it with. with a small thank you, you ate the apples while he washed the knife.

“what did the doctors say? did they check up on you today?”, he asked as he sat back down on his original spot.

you nodded. “they said I'm doing much better. they said that I might even be able to leave earlier than expected”, you said happily as you chewed on the apple.

“maybe they should keep you in for the originally planned time. you know, just to be sure. don’t want no unexpected incidents to happen”, he said the last in a whisper and dropped his head.

“megumi”, you said, his gaze turning back to you. “why are you so concerned about this? it was just a mission that went wrong. it happens all the time, nothing new. don’t beat yourself up just because you couldn’t protect me on time. I mean in the end you were there. if you weren’t, who knew where I would be now. I'm doing fine, don’t worry”, you said, waving your hands to show you were doing fine.

but you weren’t totally honest with him. even though you were doing better, you still had taken a lot of damage. that being the reason why you were in a lot of pain. you were still as good as paralyzed on both legs. you were hurting, but telling him that might not be the best option.

“yeah, but me not being able to help in time is the reason why you are now paralyzed in bed for the past two weeks”, he said, looking seriously hurt.

“you can be so dramatic sometimes”, you said, rolling your eyes playfully as an attempt to reassure him. “I am a recovery beast”, you said, pursing your lips and doing a bicep pose, showing off your muscles.

a breathy laugh escaped his lips and for the first time in a while he had a genuine smile on his face. the laughter soon died down, but a small smile was still formed on his face.

“you know, that was the first smile I've seen on you ever since I woke up after the incident. megumi we’re 18. we just graduated and stuff like this is supposed to happen on our first real missions as high school graduates in order for us to grow stronger. I bet that when I'm healed I'll be even stronger than I was before”, you said. “plus-”, you said, pulling the covers so that your toes were visible and you wiggled them, “- I can move my toes again.”

a smile of relief formed on his face. it wasn’t enough to reassure him, but enough to make him smile. “I'm happy at least one of us is taking this situation positively”, he said.

“you are such a drama queen”, you snorted. “tell me megumi, what would you do if I actually died.”

his face turned all serious and he thought for a moment. “I don’t like thinking about that, but-”, he said, standing up and walking to the window to look behind the curtains. probably to just think with out having to be distracted by you, “I'd probably stop being a sorcerer.”

“that’s shocking coming from someone that adores his job”, you said with a chuckle. “you like me that much, huh”, you said in a joking way.

he was silent for a minute, before turning his head in your direction. he stared straight into your eyes, but still didn’t say a word. he was chewing the inside of his mouth and thought of the right words to say. but nothing seemed good enough to be said with words.

“say, megumi. why do you help me this much? is it really all because of guilt or is there something more to it”, you genuinely asked. because there was this feeling inside of you that needed a mutual answer.

as if making up his mind he looked at you with a confident look. “because I like you. and even if you don’t share the same feelings, I won’t stop caring for you. I want you and I'll do my best to prove that to you. I'll prove that I am worth it.”

“who said I didn’t”, you said in a serious tone. “who said I didn’t like you.”

it wasn’t a sight you were used to see, but seeing megumi turn his head slightly to the side and seeing the redness form on his skin made you blush yourself. he wasn’t the one who’s emotions you could read easily, so when stuff like this happened you just felt a warmness inside of you. something that told you that he was comfortable enough to show this side of him to you.

“don’t say stuff like this, I might get the wrong idea”, he said in a low voice, still hiding his face.

“maybe that’s what I was hoping for”, you said. you scooted to the side, making just enough space to fit another person. “wanna join in?”

how could he even possibly say no to such a request? so without a word he made his way to sit next to you, taking off his shoes before sitting on the bed. he sat down next to you, under the covers. he had this slight awkward pose, but when you scooted closer to him you felt him relax next to you.

you rested your head against his shoulder. “you know, megumi. I enjoy being with you. I'm not sure how you do it, but you just make me feel safe. even if you think otherwise, I do feel a sense of safety. so if it’s not too much to ask. could you stay by my side until I’m recovered? will you be here until I can finally stand on my own?”

“I'll stay with you even after that”, he said resting his head on yours. “I don’t plan on going anywhere else.” he had said the last in a whisper.

“good”, you said while closing your eyes. you felt drowsy and without hesitation you let sleep take over you. “thank you.”

“anytime”, he said while pulling the cover more over your body. “rest well.”

you didn’t have the energy to respond to that, but it didn’t really matter. the way you let your body completely fall on his was enough for him to understand that you had already fallen asleep. but the warm kiss he planted on your head was the real reason why you completely gave your body to slumber. because his touch was comforting to you.

that's how you woke up to him holding you tightly against his chest while he was asleep. a smile creeped on your face. this was probably the most amount of sleep he had gotten in days, so waking him up now was not something you planned to do. instead you pressed your face to his chest. his scent filling your nose as it calmed you down. falling asleep like this wasn’t bad at all. and just before sleep could fully take you over, you felt his embrace tighten around you, as if to show that he was there for you and that he was planning to stay, because that was his main goal. to protect you and for you to be able to protect him.

#megumi fushiguro #megumi #fushiguro #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro x reader #megumi angst #megumi fluff #megumi jjk #jujutsu kaisen #megumi hcs #megumi imagine #jjk imagine

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licncourt · 2 years

Note

What expectations do you have of AMC's IWTV? what would you like to see?

Nervous for Armand’s casting in the tv series 😅 I’m just surprised they haven’t released it yet. How do you feel about Claudia’s casting?

I've gotten a few asks about the AMC show and I'll admit I've been somewhat hesitant to talk about it much because of all the discourse, but I suppose I'll throw my two cents out there!

I'm going to start by saying that I am reserving final judgement on everything for when the show actually comes out! There are things I've seen that I like and things I've seen that I don't like, but some stills, a few script leaks, and 40 seconds of footage is not enough for me to feel confident fully endorsing or fully condemning the adaptation. These are just preliminary thoughts!

I expect that Sam Reid and Jacob Anderson will do a great job! They both seem excited about their roles and committed to the portrayal, so that makes me really optimistic! They're not how I imagine the characters when I read the books, but that doesn't bother me because this is just one way of telling the story. They're going to make out on screen for me and that's what I care about.

I have a few concerns regarding Louis' characterization based on the the script leaks, but again, I'm reserving judgment until we see the final product! Even if my worries are valid, that's not a strike against JA, just something I've been thinking about. And I've heard complaints about Lestat's accent, and to that I would say: yes he sounded English and that's very funny. At the very least, a bad accent that's not even a little bit French would carry on Tom Cruise's legacy

I'm sure Bailey Bass will do a great job in her own interpretation of Claudia and she's adorable, but I admit I was a bit disappointed that they didn't cast a younger actress, maybe around Kirsten Dunst's age in IWTV. Claudia's age is so integral to her character and such a striking element of the story that I'd hate to see it watered down, but I understand the practical reasons for why they may have chosen a teen actress. Maybe they'll lean into the unfairness of the random nature of her being "chosen" or the disintegration of her relationship with Lestat to make up for the "trapped in a child's body" aspect being less prominent.

My hunch about Armand's casting is that he'll be played by Harvey Guillen and they want to make it a surprise/build anticipation. He was on closed sets at filming and it would make a lot of sense given that he's very popular among the show's demographic because of his part in WWDITS. It would also be a fun nod to his WWDITS character's love of Antonio Banderas' Armand as well as to the original movie since he's also an older (by that I mean 30+, older than 17) Hispanic actor like AB.

I...don't love what they've done with Daniel. I feel like they've basically discounted the Devil's Minion arc by making the changes they have, and that's really disappointing. But again, we'll see how it goes!

The biggest thing I wanted from the show was actual Loustat romance since we're in a time where that can actually happen now, and we got it!! I was also hoping that the show would be more of an objective look at Interview era Loustat, and I think that's going to be the case too. It sounds like there's going to be a lot more happy moments like the kind Lestat mentioned in TVL than they put in the movie, which is awesome!

That said, it's going to destroy me even more when things go south because of that, but it sounds like they have plans to adapt more books, so I really hope they make TVL and maybe QotD so I can have the full Loustat arc to heal my soul.

(I also hope they promptly cancel it after that before I have watch TotBT: The TV Show with my own two eyes.)

All in all, I'm going into this with the knowledge that this show isn't meant to be a perfect play by play of the book, it's a single adaptation of the story to suit the creators' vision. An AU, if you will. And I'll treat it as such. I really hope everyone else tries to just enjoy it for what it is too, because I think we'll have a lot of fun!

Side note: I am in no way an expert on the AMC lore, so if anyone's interested in updates and analysis of that, go talk to @monsieur-le-rock-star !! She'll be able to help you way better than I can!

#answered #vc #vctv

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jenodunno · 3 years

Text

Studying

a/n: aish i’m sorry i haven’t written in a while, i have no excuses for myself other that i had no inspiration to write. Anyways i hope you enjoy this cute little story of Jaemin tutoring you hehe

pairing: Jaemin x Reader

warnings: none ?

"How can you even get good grades in this class" You sigh looking at your boyfriend's test paper that the teacher just handed out.

"I don't know," He shrugs looking over at the grade on your paper "But I do know I'm better at it then you" He lets out a small laugh

"Instead of laughing you should be a good boyfriend and help me" You sulk, laying your head on your desk.

Let's just say Human Anatomy isn't the class you do best nor do you even like it, but the sadly you still need to pass the class to no disappoint your parents.

"Of course I'll help you out, love," He smiles looking at you before petting your head "I'll come over after school, like that we can get started"

"Wait, what ? Now ?" You asked in disbelief "I know I asked for help but not right away I want to rest my brain a little"

"Yah...no, the faster we study the faster you'll understand what's going on and anyways the next test is schedule for next week so it's best if you start now, love." He says letting out a small laugh at the end when you sighed once again for like the one hundredth time.

"Fine" You mumble burying your face in your hands.

Wednesday at your place, (A week till the test)

"Wait" Jaemin says trying to hold back his laughter while looking at the test you received back from your teacher yesterday because he's a great boyfriend and doesn't want to laugh at your failure "You're really going to tell me you don't know where the esophagus is,"

"No, I know where it is, It's just that-"

"Then why did you put throat instead,"

"Because technically-"

"No baby no, technically it isn't our throat"

“Well technically yes because when we eat food goes down in it-“

“I can tell this is going to be long” He sighs chuckling

“Heyy don’t laugh at me !” You huffed, pushing him lightly “can we take a break we've been reviewing for hours" You sighed

"It's only been 30 minutes, my love," Jaemin says and looks at you with an 'are you serious' face "And I pretty sure we'll need more than that if you don't know where the esophagus is" He chuckles

"You're really not going to let me go for that one" You say getting up off the floor

"Nope" He smiles at you, before kissing you on the nose.

Thursday at Jaemin's place, (6 days till the test)

"Maybe you'll focus more at my place" Jaemin mumbles opening the front door for the both of you.

"What's that suppose to mean" You say looking up at him

"I mean that, maybe studying in another environment that's not your usual one might help you focus more" He explains

"I practically live here with you, Jae" You looked at him laughing a little

“Yeah yeah whatever, come on” He laughs stepping a side a little letting you go in first before closing the door behind himself.

After getting settled on the kitchen counter with all the school work laid out in front of you guys and Jaemin to your left you try to pay attention. In the end you actually are paying attention to what Jaemin is showing and explaining to you, maybe he was right earlier....

"So as long as you can try to remember this graphic by heart you'll at least get a 10 out 35 on the test" He says trying to make you feel better

"Yah but that isn't enough," You blow out a breath

"I know it isn't, love, but that's still better than the grades you got yesterday, and anyways I'll try my best to help you" He says grabbing your hand into his own "Anyways let's focus on this chapter, most of the vocabulary and work that'll be on the test is in this chapter, okay ?" He says softly looking at you and when you nod at him he starts explaining.

After 2 hours of studying flying by, you both decide to take a break.

“You know I hope you focused more on what I was explaining to you and not my face.” He smirks before drink out of his water bottle

“W-what do you mean,?!” You answered back in a flustered state “I was paying attention to you.”

“Yeah to me or to what I was explaining,” He chuckles before raising an eyebrow at you “because to me it seemed like you were paying more to me, as in my face and not the work.”

"T-that's not true," You defended

"Come on just admit to it and I'll give you a kiss" He once again lifts the corner of his lips forming a smirk

"J-jaemin !"

Saturday at Jaemin's place, (4 days till the test)

You don't know if Jaemin is actually a really good tutor or he is a good tutor because suddenly you can understand things you didn't think you could or at least you think so. I guess you could say you were lucky to have him.

"Are you guys really studying on a Saturday ?" Jeno says walking in Jaemin's house as if it's his own with a basketball in his hands

"Hmm, Oh yeah I'm helping my princess over here not fail for our next test" Jaemin hums a response to Jeno barely acknowledging his presence "Anyways, do you understand the graphics over here, It's explaining how the fluids in-"

"What's up fuckers" Donghyuck says bursting into the living room with a football soccer ball in his hand "Jeez it's literally the weekend and you both are in here studying, tsk, you know it feels really good outside ?" He smirks at you, dropping his weight on the couch "I would say the weather is about 28 degrees with a few clouds and the wind is-"

"You know it's better to stay in here than to be outside with your presences," You playfully glare at him

"Oh come on, stop acting like you hate me when you don't" He laughs before throwing the ball his holding in the air before catching it again.

"Stop being lame Donghyuck," Jeno chimes in "Anyways come on Jaems, It won't kill to take a little break and have fun, right Y/N ?"

"Okay, okay fine how about about we take a small break," Jaemin says getting up before smiling at how happy you looked

Let's just say it wasn't a small break you both took.....

Tuesday afternoon in the library (The day before the test)

"I'll never understand why it's so important to learn this, I honestly don't care about the human anatomy and how it works," You whine pushing your folder away from you

"You know your only learning about this because you chose this course" Jaemin says letting out a small laugh at your defeat

"Yeah well I only chose the scientific course because I wanted to have Laboratory but even that is hard and boring, I should have chosen the literature course like that I would of gotten art and I'm pretty sure that is much more fun and less hard than this human body thing. And also I wouldn't be alone because Renjun is there" You ramble out.

Jaemin pauses looking at you, then looking at all the school work flared out in front of you both before letting out a small sigh with a light laugh at the end.

"Look baby, I'm going to be honest with you. I know we've been studying for this test since last week but going the way we are going and the fact that the test is tomorrow, you're going to fail this test, I love you, but there's nothing we can do about it now" Jaemin says looking over at you before you let your head fall on the table with a bang gaining peoples attention. Jaemin just smiles at them before bringing his attention back to you caressing your back

"I knew it, I'm going to fail again and like you said there's nothing we can do" You mumble out lowly with a sigh following at the end

Jaemin doesn't respond but just sits there and comforts you.

Wednesday, ( test day )

The moment the teacher handed out the test papers, you knew you were doomed. On the first page you barely understood anything and the second page even less, though on the third page there was the graph that you studied so hard to remember, which you shockingly did. While filling out the graph you started remembering a few things Jaemin had taught you a few days prior.

30 minutes passed by pretty fast before you heard your teacher's timer going off "Okay times up, everyone pens down" He then proceeded to collect everyone's papers before going back to his desk to grade them leaving the class to do whatever.

"So how do you think you did ?" Jaemin says looking over at you, who was staring at the bracelet you were wearing

"Hm ? Oh umm well honestly I'm pretty confident, after I completed the graph suddenly things you had explained came into my head and I feel like I got a lot of things correct !" You say cheerfully. You honestly do think you did pretty well, all the answers suddenly came into your head at one pointed so yeah you are confident in yourself.

"I'm glad to hear that you're confident, It puts me at ease knowing I tutored you well" He smile at you like always

"Of course you did, you're a pretty good tutor y'know now I understand why Jisung always comes to you for help" You laugh softly

"Good morning everyone, i hope that today has been a pretty decent day for you all" Your teacher speaks out to the class walking in front of his desk. "Now before you ask yes I've graded yesterdays test, I will now hand them out" Your teacher announces.

"Yay finally, I could barely sleep last night because of this." You giggled cheerfully

Your teacher finally reaches yours and Jaemin's desk handing out your papers. When giving Jaemin his paper, you didn't miss your teacher giving him a small pat on his shoulder before giving you your paper with a small smile on his face. Giving him a small smile back you checked out your grade on the top right of the paper. The moment your eyes landing on your grade, you practically had stars popping out out of them.

With a little squeal of happiness you turn your paper around to show it to your lover with a huge grin on your face.

"Look !" You beamed happily at your boyfriend "Ahh thank you so much" Leaning in giving him a hug

"You're welcome my love," He chuckles looking down at you on his chest, reaching to pat your head "But you do know that having a 14/30 doesn't exactly mean you passed"

But you were quick to look at him and shush him with a finger to your lips "Don't ruin it for me, it's the highest grade I've gotten in this class" As your face changed from having a playful pout on it to having a smile letting a few giggles escape from your lips.

#i'm pretty proud of this one #jaemin x you #jaemin x y/n #jaemin x reader #jaemin fanfic #jaemin soft hours #jaemin imagines #kpop fluff #kpop writing #kpop imagines

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princekirijo · 2 years

Note

Hello Prince, I would like to know more about your process of designing Riku's persona!

I've only seen one version of it on your blog, was that the only one you posted? Which version was it? What are your thoughts going into redesigning it?

Tell me tell me please, I would like to know!!

OK you have no idea how happy this ask made me thank you so much! It’s been rotating in my brain ever since you sent it and now I have enough brain power to answer it so here we go! Before I start word vomiting, a few disclaimers. One this is long af as usual. Two I’m going to put a trigger warning here for blood and disturbing imagery. It’s nothing too graphic but I feel like I should say it just in case. And lastly this is my own thoughts/opinions/process so um please don’t take anything I say too seriously! I felt I had to say that I don’t know why. Either way here we go for real this time.

So to start off I feel like I should explain that I have three approaches to designing a persona. I’ve designed 4 personas for Riku (with 2 or 3 other vague concepts in my head) and I’ve spent a bit of time looking into how I feel the canon personas are designed, and this is essentially what I’ve come up with to help me design my own. The first to get it out of the way, is a balanced combination of the following two. Most personas fall into this category from what I’ve seen. The second, is that I look mostly at the mythology/story of the character/figure the persona is designed on and then add personal touches to it that represent the character (like uh 80% facts and 20% character so to speak). This is the approach I took with Lugh, Riku’s ultimate persona, which he gains upon the protagonist completing his confidant. I don’t want to talk too much about his design as I want to reveal it in the comic (that I WILL eventually make) but essentially I looked at the mythology of Lugh (he’s a Celtic god of a lot of things I would really recommend reading into him he’s very interesting) and then used that as my main inspiration for the design. Once I’d gotten a fairly solid idea, then I started adding in personal touches that would link him to Riku. In terms of canon persona designs that I feel fall into this approach I feel like Caesar and Captain Kidd are good examples. Caesar especially, when you look at him you can tell that it is supposed to be the Roman emperor Caesar.

The third approach then is essentially the opposite. I take one or two things from the figure/character’s story or designs if they exist and then add that to something I’ve made based entirely on the persona’s user. The persona that you guys have seen already - Mordred - falls into this category. Mordred is Riku’s black mask persona, essentially his Loki. He only appears in the spin off AU, Black Captain, where Riku is the black mask. I’ve answered an ask before with the bare bones plot of this AU so feel free to check that out for context. And he’s not the persona I’m currently redesigning but he has gotten an updated look since that last drawing I did (he’s more serpentine now - think Rayquaza but with wings)! Mordred for those that don’t know, is a figure in Arthurian legend - he’s the bastard son or nephew of King Arthur (depends on the version you read) and he overthrows Arthur before eventually being slain by him. That’s a very short version of the story and I am missing major details but as I said this design was more Riku oriented than Mordred oriented. Mordred is my favorite so far of Rikus personas and it is mostly because of the concept I based him off. Which is the anger that someone feels at the world is the part of you that loves you the most. It’s the part that is angry at all the injustices you have faced and wants so much better for you. That idea resonates with me so much and I really wanted to try and capture it in a design. Mordred is a horrifying creature, he’s a huge snake like dragon with a human-like torso, he’s covered in blood and is constantly bleeding, he has large pieces of his flesh missing where his skeleton juts out, a third eye on his head which is the only functioning eye, he is not supposed to look pretty. One of Mordred’s mechanics if he was in the game would be to have a trait where when Riku is in the party, on the first turn Mordred is summoned, there is a 50% chance the enemy would be inflicted with fear. He is supposed to be anger and fear personified. The fear part is important because as I said, while Mordred is absolutely grotesque and represents Riku’s terrifying rage against the world, he’s very much also the part of Riku that loves him. I haven’t shown Mordred speaking but he can, and he often talks to Riku in a very soft manner and comforts him after they’ve gone through a particularly tough Palace together. As Riku has essentially resolved himself to slaughtering a bunch of rich people in his revenge quest, the idea that someone could still love him when he’s gone to such lengths to reject his own humanity and morality ESPECIALLY himself? That scares the crap out of him. I’m kind of rambling a bit now but I just hope I was able to get across Mordred’s core concept as it’s something I’m super proud of. The other little thing I’ll mention here before I go into my thoughts on the persona I am currently redesigning, is that the tongue you see in the OG Mordred drawing is very relevant to an ability he has, essentially his own call of chaos. I won’t go into it because it's disturbing af and also spoilers. Yeah Mordred kind of awoke a love of designing fucked up looking creatures in me that I never knew I had. Oh and in terms of canon personas that fall into this design approach Johanna is a great example. Looking at her, at least to me, it’s pretty difficult to figure out who she’s supposed to be but you can instantly link her to Makoto!

Now onto the persona I’m redesigning as of right now - Pimpernel. Pimpernel is Riku’s initial persona and for me, is the most important one to get right. As seen in Strikers and PQ2 (and the p4 cast in arena) most spin off games and promotional work use the initial personas for the Thieves so it's important that Pimpernel has an easily recognizable and distinguishable design. So far my approach for him has been the first method I mentioned, a balance of both the story of the original character and Riku himself. Pimpernel is the titular character of the Scarlet Pimpernel, a novel by Baroness Orczy. It is set during the French revolution and the main character is Sir Percy Blakeney (who Riku’s third semester persona will be based off of) who leads a double life as the elusive Scarlet Pimpernel. Fun fact but he’s actually said to be the inspiration for characters like Zorro! I actually have a whole thing on why Pimpernel is a great choice for Riku but that is an entirely different can of worms I will not get into now. Pimpernel is definitely the hardest design of all of Riku’s personas so far, because a) I’m a perfectionist and b) there’s not really a lot of solid designs for him. There are several movies which I’ve been using as reference and I’ve looked into the fashion during the French Revolution. The Riku part has also been difficult. Now that I have a final design for his thief outfit it’s a little easier as I can use that as reference, but I’m still a little lost. As Riku is a very skilled fencer, I’m trying to incorporate some fencing gear into his design. I’m also looking at Riku’s current mentality at the time of awakening to Pimpernel and trying to add that in too. I actually have a very clear idea of how to do that and link it into Lugh and Percy’s designs as well but it will be easier to show than tell once Pimpernel has a design I’m happy with. And as a bonus I’m also referencing Penthesilea and actually Mitsuru herself (there’s one small detail I’m hoping people will notice that connects him to Mitsuru) because Personas are shaped by one's thoughts and ideas, and as Mitsuru has a huge influence on Riku, I felt that should show up in the persona designs (Lugh also references Artemisia and Percy references Isis). We haven’t really seen any persona users who are related (aside from the Suou brothers but I haven’t really looked into their personas yet so I can’t properly comment) so I want to try and explore how that could possibly affect how a persona looks!

And that’s kinda it really. I hope this answers your questions and if anyone did read til the end uh here’s a gold star for you you deserved it ⭐. If anyone else has any follow up questions let me know, as you can probably tell this is something I am HUGELY passionate about so I will be more than happy to answer.

#asks #v-again #riku kirijo #oc tag #au tag #this is so so ridiculously long I am sorry 😭#i am just very passionate about character design and riku so yeah i popped off a little #but i hope this answers your questions!#i did ramble a bit so i might have gotten off track but yeah #thank you so so much for this ask i am kissing you on the forehead #i love talking about how i design things and symbolism and all that fun stuff so yeah mansplaining my designs is such a joy to me #joking about the mansplaining bit but i do tend to accidently do that sometimes so apologises 🧍‍♂️#i am just very stupid and need to explain everything fully #but yeah designing personas is really fun!#would totally recommend #im not great at it tbh its hard to capture what exactly makes a persona a persona but im definitely getting there 😼#and having lots of fun with it too which is what really matters

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themadauthorshatter · 3 years

Text

... This is going to be more triggering than my Sanders Sides Beetlejuice AU, and I deeply apologize.

This is a Happy Tree Friends story I've thought about and it got inspired by a scene in the Asylum season of American Horror Story.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR PTSD, AVERSION THERAPY, FORCED/DELIBERATE TRIGGERING OF PTSD AND HALLUCINATIONS, ISOLATION, BEING HELD CAPTIVE/HOSTAGE, ANIMAL DEATH, AND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS!!!!

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!

Additional note: I'm visualizing the characters as human, so don'tbe caught off guard when I bring up a character's hair or complexion. It makes this story easier for me to picture in my head, that's just how I work. And this is mostly TV perspective, so thought I'd tell you that, too.

We begin with the sun rising and a new day starting, how lovely. No one is fully awake, but two people are and they are having a race.

Who's against who?

Simple.

It's Flippy on his feet and Splendid in the air to see who's faster on which and they're neck and neck in this.

Flippy sees Splendid next to him and asks if he's holding back, because this is not the fastest Flippy can run.

Splendid jokes that maybe it is because this is the SLOWEST he's flown in a long time.

Flippy laughs and kicks it into maximum overdrive, full on sprinting as fast as he can, even faking a turn to throw Splendid off his flight. While he stays on his intended path, and shouts that Splendid fell for it, Splendid calls him a cheating bastard.

Flippy laughs and contunues sprinting until he stops on a sidewalk in the town.

How lovely because Splendid is sitting on the wood of one of the telephone poles and waves at him.

Flippy pants and asks how Splendid both beat him and got up there.

Splendid simply floats down and claims it's just a hop, skip, and leap of faith.

And no cheating, which he points out.

Flippy clarifies that he actually DID NOT cheat. He would've gotten some of kryptonut and put it in his pocket, if he really wanted to.

Splendid gasps that he wouldn't, but Flippy shrugs and says he knows a guy, so don't tempt him.

The two share a laugh, but Flippy freezes as he hears a nearby woodpecker.

Splendid spots it and comments on the lovely avian specimen.

That's when a knife is thrown and (TV perspective) off screen kills the bird.

Splendid sees Flippy threw it and has 'killer instinct' eyes.

Thank goodness it's just them and there's no one else around because just as Flippy readies another knife, Splendid grabs him and flies to a hill, fast enough to get there within a minute or so, but not so fast that Flippy dies from the velocity.

It snowed a little bit, but it's enough for Splendid to toss Flippy into.

The cold instantly snaps him out of it and Flippy quickly looks around and asks where they are.

Splendid shrugs and answers the hill, and the realization sets in as Flippy's face drops, groaning and putting his hands over his face.

Splendid sits next to him as Flippy asks if 'it' happened again.

It did, but there was no one outside, so at least it got stopped before anyone got hurt.

Flippy is still crestfallen and rests his head on his arms, which are on his knees.

Splendid asks if he really can't control when he flips out, and Flippy confirms that as much as he can, but he still can't, mainly because when he feels like there's nothing to worry about, he remembers how he got comfortable and confident before and it ruined everything.

And he can't control the world or what randomly happens.

If his instincts say he's in danger, he's using thise same instuncts to keep himself safe.

Splendid digests those words as Flippy takes a breath and stands up, thanking him for the race and apologizes for talking his ear off and snapping on him.

Splendid stands as well and asks if Flippy needs help getting home, to which Flippy politely declines, not wanting to beat Splendid in another race. Splendid narrows his eyes and dares Flippy to repeat that, but Flippy chuckles and says he'll see him around before leaving.

Splendid watches him go and gets to thinking. He and Flippy have been friends for a while, and this stuff with flipping out and all that has been bothering him for a long time. He'd also been informed that Flippy went to Lumpy for help, but it failed miserably, so he was left to deal with it using the medicine he'd been prescribed. Beyond that, nothing seems to have helped him.

He also remembers how he had once had a doctor friend that helped people with addiction and talked with him about how some people aren't addicted to substances, but to feelings or emotions, as a comfort thing.

We don't get any more thoughts because we return to Flippy as he lets himself inside and leans against the door, very much upset with the fact that he lost it in front of one of his friends, especially one loke Splendid, who he rarely flips out on.

And it doesn't help that he hasn't lost it in a very long time.

Because his instincts are going haywire and he just needs to know HOW bad his episodes get, Flippy gets up, grabs a couple party poppers that were left over from a party he was fashionably late to(he had to do a check-in/catch up call with one of his army higher ups so they knew he was okay), and goes down to a basement, one that has a hatch door in the floor rather than a regular door.

He locks it behind him and goes down to a fully concrete basement that has holes and scratches in the concrete, because he's strong.

Here's where that deliberate triggering of trauma and an additional blackout Trigger Warnings come in, because Flippy sets up a camera, that's recoeding, takes one of the party poppers, and squeezes his eyes shut as he pulls the string and sets it off.

Flippy instantly starts seeing that he's back on the battlefield and not in his own basement, and hyperventilates as he sees an enemy standing over him, smirking and gun ready.

Flippy stares up at this enemy, but that fear melts into anger and throws himself into his enemy, landing next to a gun, which he uses to take this enemy out.

No time to relax because he gets grazed by another enemy soldier.

He smiles and chuckles, readying the gun and a knife from his leg before he races forward.

We don't see anything happen, save for black, but we fade to see Flippy coming to on the floor, sweaty, bruised, and knuckles bloody.

He groans and pushes himself up, rubbing his head for a minute before he finally looks around the basement.

The walls and floor are worse than before, but at least the camera is still intake.

Flippy gets up and stops the camera, sitting down as he reminds it back until plays it.

There's no battlefield, no enemies, no threats at all. In the video, Flippy pops the party popper, and clutches his head as he curls into the ground.

He hyperventilates and looks up backing away from someone that isn't even there. At least before he throws himself into the wall a makes a small shelf of knives fall. He mimes shooting the person before grabbing numerous knives and racing toward and hitting the wall and stabbing the wall, even punching and kicking it.

That explains the busted knuckles and bruises.

We don't see the rest of the video, but we do see Flippy's face grow more distressed and upset as he keeps watching himself fight nothing and just beat himself instead.

It is not easy to watch at all.

The video eventually ends with Flippy passing out on the floor, where we caught up with him.

Flippy puts the camera away and leans against the wall.

Guess he's a lot worse than he thought.

He sighs and rests his head against his knees.

Guess he's not leaving the house today either.

Time jump to a week or so later!

It's bright and sunny, and we're checking in on Flaky now as she struggles with some groceries; it originally started as a trip for shampoo and a new toothbrush, but it became a food run as well because she got hungry. She can't really see where she's going, but is trying her best, okay?

Carrying five bags at once a was huge mistake because she trips on a rock and almost falls down.

Almost, because Flippy catches her and helps her back to her feet.

Flaky shrieks and asks who it is.

Flippy decides to mess with her and lowers his voice, asking for either a hello or her life.

Flaky gasps and says he'll get a shoe to his shin, if he doesn't watch himself.

Flippy chuckles and asks if she skipped breakfast again, seeing all the bags she has. Flaky, turning to look at him, corrects him: she DID eat breakfast, but lunch was calling and she couldn't leave it on voice-mail.

Flippy, following along with the analogy, takes a bag or two and advices she try to learn how to BLOCK those calls when they drain her wallet.

Flaky hums, but thanks him for helping, and for the wallet he got her; it's sleek, but holds a lot of money and cards. Or card, which Flippy mutters as they walk to Flaky's house.

Flaky kicks at him, but they half walk, half run to Flaky's house. Once they arrive, Flaky thanks him again for the help and says she'll have a potatoe, butcher beef, apple soup/curry waiting for him next time he comes over.

Flippy chuckles and agrees, countering he'll bring her a cake SMOTHERED in sugar, cubes, chunks, powered, candy, caramel, all that garbage so that her teeth fall out and he can help her get METAL teeth instead.

Flaky sets down her groceries and stamps her foot, saying Flippy is not her father.

They still hug each other and Flippy leaves, telling her to take care of herself.

He continues on his walk and pays attention to the birds that are singing and wind blowing through the trees.

No time to fully appreciate it because Splendid turns a corner and Flippy waves him over, much to the superhero's delight.

They quickly touch in and ask how the other has been before Flippy interests Splendid for another race, 'the only rule is win' edition.

Splendid has a better idea: coffee. He had just finished some errands and was on his way home when he and Flippy ran into each other.

The invite seems iffy, but Flippy accepts, not wanting to run off like last time.

They walk and Splendid's smile drops a little, which draws Flippy's attention, the ex-soldier asking if everything's okay.

Splendid nods, saying everything's fine. He's just had some stuff on his mind that he can talk about when they get to his house.

Flippy stops for a second and watches Splendid continue walking, following behind more cautiously.

Cut to Splendid's house as the superhero fixes himself and his guest some coffee, though Flippy is slow to drink his because it doesn't smell like black coffee.

When asked, Splendid explains that the grounds were a little stale. He'd bought some that was fresh, but didn't want the old stuff to go to waste.

It calms Flippy enough for him to take a drink of coffee. He also asks what's been eating at Splendid, even apologizing for leaving him hanging last week.

Splendid shakes his head. Water under the bridge, everyone has their moments.

Speaking of moments, Splanedid asks if Flippy's been better since their race.

He shrugs, admitting that he's had worse happen, but that still doesn't make it good or even okay.

Splendid asks if he's ever gotten help for his 'issues' and Flippy asks back if he thinks Lumpy is really as good at everything as he thinks. Splendid supposes not, all things considered.

Done with the interview, and taking a drink of more coffee, because he's tired, Flippy asks what Splendid's deal REALLY is, and why he's so interested in Flippy's personal issues.

Splendid gives it to him straight: he's noticed that Flippy's trauma is bothering him on a pretty big level, and it has him worried for his friend, not because he can hurt people, but because he's seeing how unhappy Flippy is, and how much it tolls on him. He's had SOME experience with people who've had similar problems to Flippy's and there's a sort of therapy that's helped them. Granted, he knows Flippy doesn't enjoy flipping out, but, in a sick sense, his mind and body do. And there's a way to trick his mind into pushing his instincts away and leaving him with a normal life.

Flippy keeps his head propped up on an arm and finishes his coffee, so tired that he's barely listening and is instead asking for a fresh mug, because he doesn't understand either.

Splendid only takes his empty mug and suggests he's probably had enough coffee; he'll be up all night, if he drinks more than one cup and, as he's already said, Lumpy is a terrible doctor and will say he's about to die and overlook that he's just high of caffeine.

Flippy laughs and shakes his head, asking if Splendid is a better doctor and scoffing that he can take Lumpy.

He stops laughing when he sees that Splendid is straight faced and looks a little apologetic.

Yeah. Heavily delayed, 'oh shit!' moment for Flippy, who now realizes that there was something IN his coffee; he knows what stale coffee tastes like because he once suffered through a month of the stuff.

And he can't flip out on Splendid because he's too tired, so he's left to try running for the door.

That fails, too, so he can only pull and push himself away from Splendid, who apologizes for lying and for making Flippy go into such a panic, all the same he's just trying to help him and hopes he both forgives him and understands where he's coming from.

Flippy only keeps trying to get away, weakly telling Splendid to stay away from him.

From Flippy's blurry and world-spinny eyes, Splendid is the General from the Tiger Bomb mission, said General kneeling in front of him and smirking as Flippy knocks out with a sigh/groan.

Flippy doesn't wake up until MUCH later. He's got a splitting headache and, upon seeing all of the white-ish walls around him, sighs that he really must've fucked himself up when he set off that party popper, rubbing his head as he does so.

That's when he notices the handcuff and chain on his wrist, one that keeps him chained to one of the walls. He checks his other hand and sees that there's an identical handcuff on his wrist, also connecting him to the wall.

Not a dream.

Before Flippy can lose it, he sees a door open and Splendid walk in, looking very sheepish despite being the stronger of the two at the moment.

Before he can get any words out, Flippy charges toward him, at least until he's stopped by the chains.

It still makes Splendid jump back; powers be damned, if Flippy's mad at you, your days are numbered.

Splendid, from his place against the opposite wall, asks quite stupidly if Flippy's mad.

No. He's not mad at all. He's having the best damn day of his life, thank you for asking.

Sarcasm. All sarcasm that Splendid misses and is relieved by.

That relief vanished when Flippy charges again, pulling the handcuffs enough to make himself bleed.

Flippy demands to know what the hell is going on and why he's handcuffed in a padded cell.

When Flippy starts pulling a little too hard, like he's pulling hard enough to dent the chain links out of place, Splendid acts fast and aims a spray bottle at Flippy, and sprays water on him.

When Flippy backs down, Splendid repeats what he said upstairs, especially apologizing for not explaining how he was going to help him.

Flippy banks up, stands down, and sits down criss-crossstyle, which makes Splendid let out a sigh of relief, following his friend so they're sitting across from each other.

Flippy asks what EXACTLY Splendid was thinking when he drugged Flippy's coffee and then took Flippy to a loaded cell in his basement.

Splendid explains that he was just thinking and didn't regard what would have happened, even admitting that drugging the coffee wasn't his best or first plan; somehow sneaking up behind him with a nasty was, but that seemed insulting to Flippy's skills, so he thought about just working him out with races and exercise until Flippy passed out. That seemed like the most painful option, and the most tiring because wherever Flippy would fall would be unpredictable, so he just went south putting something in his coffee so he'd go unconscious for a little while.

Flippy takes all of this in and asks why Splendid didn't just ASK him to try this treatment he was babbling about earlier and Splendid admits that it's used for addicts to help them stop using whatever substance they're on. It's a pretty brutal technique, but it has worked.

The brutal part has Flippy concerned, so he asks what that means.

Splendid stops beating around the brush: aversion therapy. Using old war footage and medicine to make Flippy not want to go on a rampage whenever he gets triggeres.

Flippy stares at Splendid for a minute before taking off his boot and throwing it at him, asking if he's out of his damn mind.

That's not how his 'issues' work. Aversion therapy is meant to change another person so they AVERT away from something. Besides, what if they go through the therapy and Flippy's ordered backninto service, but ends up dead because he can't rely on his instincts?

Problem solved already because, as Splendid points out, Flippy's on a paid leave; his job is to stay OUT of the army now.

Flippy readies his other boot and Splendid backs down. Yes, he could've been more open about this to him. Yes, the whole chained to the wall in a basement thing is WAY too far. Yes, he should have told him as soon as he can, and he's sorry he didn't.

Flippy calms down and asks why he thinks it will work. No offense, but this is already working less than anythung Lumpy did, and the fool hypnotized himself into being a chicken.

Splendid admits he isn't sure, but he still wants to try to help.

Flippy asks what he'll do if he refuses to try this therapy. He's already on pills.

Splendid shrugs and says that while he'll be disappointed, he'll understand and won't be mad. Again, he just wants to help his friend and this is something that's worked for other people, not the chaining to the wall thing, but the aversion and sensory friendly environment, hence the padded room that isn't white, just a very light grey mixed with some blue, which is a calming color.

Flippy considers it for a minute before askung Splendid if he absolutely knows what he's doing.

Splendid nods. It took him a little freshing up and some review from a friend of his, yes. He knows what he's doing.

Flippy eyes him for a second before nodding, agreeing. Despite not saying it out loud, he wants to live life without worrying about killing everyone or snapping because his old instincts getting the better of him.

But stipulates that as soon as things get REALLY bad, they're calling this whole thing off and won't have anything to do with each other after that point.

Splendid rightfully agrees to those terms and tells Flippy to follow him to another room.

Flippy holds up his hands, reminding him of the handcuffs.

Those come off and the two leave the room, Flippy hoping Splendid was good on his word that he knew what he was doing.

Splendid shares a similar sentiment, instead hopi g that he can help his friend have a normal life.

#happy tree friends #htf flippy #htf splendid #htf au #fanfic #sort of an au and fanfic #i hope i portrayed Splendid as trying to do the right thing here #ptsd tw #hallucination tw #drugging tw #splendid is both a good friend and terrible friend #deliberate triggering tw

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