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getallemeralds · 1 year

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doip. / 5.24.23: the woodland manse

TIME FOR DOIP! it's been a few months so: welcome to dragon of icespire peak, the d&d campaign jorb is running with me, nyx v4shthestampede, and green bahamutgreen! starring the bullheaded dragonborn fighter Alidaar, the nameless halfling druid that's usually a binturong, and the new arrival (and walking disaster of a lizardfolk) hoping for treasure, Kepesk! together we're gonna fight a really angry dragon, but first there's a lot of problems in the world we need to tackle before we have any hope or surviving.

leo: [joins call] good news, i found my dice! jorb: [plays the anime "WOW!" sound on the soundboard]

Redesign Your Alidaar, We Know What We're Doing

LAST TIME, ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK: Our heroes, having said goodbye to their friend Tobias, made their way to the Dragon Barrow. There, they met a new but unexpected ally: a lizardfolk by the name of Kepesk. The three braved the barrow together, and after some close calls, claimed the Dragonslayer sword within. Outside, they met a hobgoblin named Toblin Bloodsword, leading them through Neverwinter wood. oh fuck ive lost behind. WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO CLEAR THE MANCE AND CLAIM THEIR REWARD? OR WILL THE CACOLYTES TAKE THEM BY STORM? FIND OUT………. TODAY!

i'm really good at what i do.

kepesk: wow it feels like we slept a month or two or something alidaar: more like four!

nyx: didn't we gaslight toblerone? […] leo: what's his actual name again, jorb: targor! leo, sobbing: WHY DID I THINK HIS NAME WAS TOBLIN?!

alidaar: i cartwheel over. nyx: what?? alidaar: i cartwheel over! nyx: well i was gonna ride on your shoulder or something, but i guess you're cartwheeling?? jorb: you heard the man! green: kepesk follows tripping over everything jorb: targor walks over doing a handstand or something. i dunno

good morning, falcon is here! also breakfast is here! let's goooo alidaar: good morning, motherfuckers! ..i dont say that part. OH NAMELESS HAS A NEW TOKEN, CUTE

……..huh. nameless sure is red suddenly. And This Sure Is An Overnight Change, Huh

falcon: would you mind terribly if corwin and pell dined with us this morning? alidaar: sure, why not? kepesk: [NOISE]

I FORGOT WE DUPED THE SHIT OUT OF TARGOR. targor is now aware that nameless just Does That (become a man)

jorb: [describing dinner] there's a couple of fish as well. nyx: alive. jorb: NOT ALIVE

falcon gives us a map! nyx: i am looking, i m looking with my eyes, i put my eyes on it, leo: nameless puts his face on the map. jorb, concerned: ..make a perception check? nyx: i swear im normal. [rolls a 17] jorb: this is a nice parchment!

nameless throws the map to kepesk. kepesk uses it as a napkin and then realizes its a map. falcon: i suspect i'm going to have new stories to tell after this. alidaar: you don't know the half of it. kepesk: about who :D?

nyx: i desperately want to talk to targor and tell him we're not usually like this leo: but that would be a lie :D nyx: that would be a lie.

jorb: [attempting to figure out why we can't see zodiark's name] leo: i can edit the horse. nyx: you can edit the horse???

falcon: try not to die. alidaar: it'll be hard as hell to kill us, don't you worry. :D jorb: and with that, you guys head off! nyx: ……..where am i going? jorb: YOU GUYS HAVE A MAP.

oh it's spelled manse. woodland manse. nyx: [rolls a 22 on survival] jorb: [..] you make some updates to the map as you go. leo: your map sucks ass, we improved it nyx: i'm grimacing as i hold it because it's still a bit greasy

OH SHIT THE SENDING STONE IS GLOWING OMG TOBIAS !! RAT BOYYYYY awww he misses us ;w; (and is craving cheese.) jorb: do you want to respond? you have 25 words. nyx and leo: OH GOD WHY ARE YOU MAKING US DO MATH his message is 25 words exactly. this guy. nyx: my response is two words: stay safe. kepesk: why are you guys talking to a rock? alidaar: [deadpan] sometimes rocks are magic. kepesk:

jorb: [..] you come across a clearing. nyx: why is there a boar in the bushes? green: is that a world of warcraft boar? jorb: yeah

jorb: so, what will you do? nyx: does targor have anything to say about this? jorb: oh. right. targor should say things.

OH GOD THERE'S TWO OF THEM (PARTY MEMBERS THAT'RE GOLD-MOTIVATED) NOW

jorb: do you have the ability to move targor, by the way? leo: no. i was gonna send him to the moon to test nyx: send variable to the moon. jorb: okay, try it now leo: [launches targor across the map] YEET nyx: OH GOD

jorb: there is not another identical mansion. nyx: sad. jorb: sad! leo: sad! nyx: sad! jorb: sad!

I HAVE DIED. SADLY.

leo: are the boars doing anything? jorb: uh, no, they're just grazing in the pumpkin patch. nyx: are they eating the actual pumpkins, or the leaves, or..? jorb: do they eat pumpkins? probably the leaves. leo: [googling] do boars eat pumpkins..

kepesk is leaving zodiark outside to graze on the pumpkins.

green: i can't believe i'm only asking this now and it's not my notes.. WHY did we come here??? (it's ok green i also didn't put that in my notes. anyway we're here to wipe out followers of talos and maybe get cool boots)

jorb: [describing a room] alidaar: i wanna get a look at those figures on the fireplace. jorb: it's weird- one of them looks like a binturong. one of them looks like YOU. and.. one of them looks like tobias. leo: WHAT? UM. OK . CREEPY MANSION HAS WEIRD WOODEN FIGURES OF THE ORIGINAL PARTY????? HOLY SHIT???

leo: oh my god the tokens,,, jorb: yeah i tried to get an ai to make [the tokens] into wood, it.. leo: it looks like it melted alidaar. jorb: ..had mixed results EVERYONE IS FIALING SO BAD AT INVESTIGATING THE REST OF THE ROOM BECAUSE THEY'RE DISTRACTED BY THE WEIRD CARVINGS

kepesk: i don't care about art.

jorb: -oh hey this is pretty neat actually

targor: what are you guys looking at? alidaar: hey targor, have you ever heard of wood? targor: targor: i'm.. familiar.

green: i feel like ive been so aggressive to him, i have no beef with targor. jorb: with TOBLIN, on the other hand,

leo: kepesk wants a carving of himself SO BAD jorb: they're not carvings, they're like.. 3d figures made of sticks. green: ohhh! that's even creepier. nyx: it's like that one movie. [pause] jorb: henry stickmin.

nyx: it looks like a pantry gone wrong. kepesk: is there ANYTHING of value in this place?! jorb: do you want to make an investigation check? leo: --all of my player instincts are yelling at me to start setting fire to this place. KEPESK NO DON'T EAT THE TOXIC SLUTCH leo: do we have cure poison on deck?? kepesk: do you guys want some? alidaar: [full-body recoils] nameless: [walks away] kepesk: ..i was just joking! :D ;;

courtyard has weird vines growing out of the well! thats probably an issue kepesk: i wonder if these vines would go well with food-sludge. nameless pokes the vines and they move. Hm! Bad! Time To Be Elsewhere

jorb: ..and you hear muffled talking. [dramatic music sting] leo: whoa, music change! jorb: the music didn't change, it just did that.

UH OH nyx alerted the guys on the floor above us! Problems!

jorb: if everybody could roll initiative for me! nyx: are we jumping through the hole in the ceiling?? leo: you bet your ass! targor rolled a 15 on his initiative! green: whoa! go off king! jorb: he's full of blood! leo: i think most people are.

jorb: [editing turn order so we can't see our opponents' rolls] you saw nothing. leo: i saw nothing but a 5 jorb: 5! green: 5! jorb: 4. green: 3. jorb: 2-- leo: [plays "E" with reverb on the soundboard] leo: did you know E is the 5th letter of the alphabet? :D

SOMEBODY THREW A DFUCKING JAVELIN AT US???? jorb: what would you like targor to do? green: targor! kill!

up against a human, an orc, and a half-orc! jorb: [stage whisper] they were all orcs in the original module, but i added some divesrsty hires! update: jorb misread the encounter so the javelin has been un-thrown and nameless has been un-mutilated

PEPPER WANTS M CHEEZITS SO SO SO SO SO BAD

KEPESK IS NOW RAGING OH SHIT KEPESK'S NEW RAGE IS COOL AS HELL he's got a cool stormcloud mask thing !! yoooo kepesk is WRECKING shit this RULES I AM ALSO NOW WRECKING SHIT. alidaar can now attack twice with his main weapon and once with his offhand! so he just. absolutely slaughters the ones kepesk didn't. also i have two breath weapons now! I CAN FUS RO DAH PEOPLE i should probably not fus ro dah people oh my god targor has a fucking. magic bloodsword. that's why they call him targor bloodsword ig hmm. nameless keeps using radiant damage now. i don't think that's what they usually do but i could be wrong. but also there has been no thorn whip silliness so far

jorb: i'm not even gonna make you roll, because he has 1 hp. [..] how do you want to do this? green: there's nothing that can go wrong with straight up cutting a guy in half anime style jorb: he goes "huh, that didn't do anything--" leo: he explodes. jorb: [explosion soundboard]

so anyway we just completely demolished that encounter in, like, one and a half rounds. goodbye fuckers

after a bathroom break: jorb: there, can you see it now?

leo: [SOUND] green: final boss: the go piss girl.

jorb: it is dark in here - do you have darkvision? green: i have swimming! [..] leo: do you want me to come over here? i have darkvision jorb: i retconned- i kept waffling on if you have darkvision or not.. leo: [checks character sheet] ah! i no longer have darkvision. (jorb gave alidaar nightvision before but the dragonborn update happened so now some of the variants have darkvision and alidaar's variant Does Not. ah well)

HOO BOY the dark room contains A Guy doing a. weird ritual? surrounded by weird twig creatures! that look kinda like the weird ones on the mantle! jorb: kepesk, you know what these are. [..] these are twigblights! green: YOO, ITS HENRY STICKMIN! leo: YOOOO green: YOOOO ITS HENRY STICKMIN LEADER OF THE TOPPAT CLAN leo: there's one for each route! :D

kepesk: hey do you think itd be funny if i went up and bit him? OH MY GOD SHE ROLLED A 20 STEALTH . OH MY GOD THATS A 27??? THAT'S A NAT 19 TO HIT. JESUS CHRIST kepesk: haha! you don't taste very good! [<- green described as "in his shittiest sonic voice"]

green: okay maybe i should roll for initiative

green: MAYBE I SHOULDN'T ROLL FOR INITIATIVE, DAMN,

horc enemy is SHOOTING LIGHTNING AT US???? WUH OH . OH GOD I HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN TO 15 HP. AAUGH fun thing about the dragonborn rework: i can now replace one of my attacks with my breath weapon! i also now have Two Breath Weapons! and Two Attacks! and also an offhand attack! anyway i just Obliterated the stickmen except for one, then used my brand new fus ro dah repulsion breath to send the big bad flying into the wall and knock him prone. and then ran up and used my offhand to smack the final stickman into the ceiling. GET FUCKED LOL

nyx: im gonna walk up to alidaar and use.. uh… fuckin.. bitches! (nameless used cure wounds)

kepesk saunters up to The Guy and just. OH MY GOD GREEN ROLLED A CRIT? green: he's on the floor and i'm just [smacking noises] jorb: stabbity stab! leo: [plays "punch" sound effect A Lot]

HM. the guy backed up into a different corner and casted.. some sort of spell that didn't have a visible effect? time for nameless to roll arcana! jorb: in the words of himiko from danganronpa 3… "~it's magic~!" :D

alidaar: okay, im gonna just run straight at him and start going ham jorb: I NEVER ROLLED INITIATIVE FOR TARGOR!!!!! anyway alidaar just obliterated that guy with a dragonslayer crit. unfortunately it sounds like he was trying to do an evil last words monologue before getting beheaded. oops!

targor: sorry i'm la GREEN GOT DMCA'D ON TWITTER????? FOR VENOM GANGNAM STYLE??????????? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT???????????????????????????

uh. targor: ..why are there a bunch of frozen sticks on the ground? alidaar, covered in blood: oh y'know. occupational hazard.

WOAGH ok now that we're out of battle, nameless has rolled again for arcana and got a nat20! HM. THE GUY APPEARS TO HAVE CAST SENDING. green: i guess we shouldn't… stick around! :D

alidaar found some dust of disappearance :o and now we're going upstairs! leo: where's.. i nearly called him torbjorn. We Keep Forgetting Targor

jorb: you find a hidden door! [zelda jingle] alidaar: wow! just like in the murder of sonic the hedgehog! green: YEAAA i hope there's a milf at the end of this! (jorb: falcon could be a milf.)

time to do another round of investigating/perceiving! leo: i'm going to perceive it. jorb: [some joke abt apollo justice's bracelet i forgot] green: YEA!! leo: [rolls a 8] jorb: you don't have a bracelet, so it doesn't work leo: i start crying. [..] green: perception! just like my hero apollo justice! [rolls a 16] IMFINE! jorb: you are So fine that you find [..] a wooden staff!

Time For Nameless To Want Shiny Item jorb: they way their pupils are dilating.. you don't think they're gonna give it back. kepesk: are you gonna eat it????? [..] nameless: i give alidaar puppydog eyes. leo: what do i roll to defend against puppydog eyes? jorb: make a wisdom saving throw. leo: 10! nyx: [rolls a nat20 persuasion] leo: AH NO jorb: you can't say no to the puppydog eyes!

leo: i should start throwing targor around like a sack of potatoes like i did to tobias, that'd be funny

A BUNCH OF LITTLE NASTY BOYS ARE HERE nyx rolled a crit initiative what the FUCK my man i rolled 13.12 on my initiative! acab The Groupchat Gets Distracted Talking About Subspace Emissary nyx is going ham with the staff while i google what subspace enemy jorb and green were comparing the nasty boys to (it was an armight) nyx is Struggling to roll a d8

alidaar stuck his head through the door and used his breath weapon to Obliterate the encounter! and also freeze nameless a little bit. sorry </3 leo: how confident are you in your ability to roll above a 13 [for dexterity] nyx: i have a +1 to dexterity but do what you will leo: are you prepared to face the consequences of my actions?

kepesk has found a bathroom green: sounds boring. jorb: you dont wanna take a bath? stinky! stinkyyyy! green: --just gotta go stinky mode. jorb: smely!!!

OH GODDAMNIT MY MIC STOPPED PICKING ME UP AT SOME POINT. BIG EFF minor pause to reread my notes from Two Years Ago from when we checked the loggers camp! my notes for that session were terrible leo: [reading out notes] "hm. wonder how donjon's doing." jorb: [laughing] BAD.

Delicious Sludge! (kepesk keeps trying to eat weird things. like soot.) leo: alidaar starts jogging around. like a white dad jorb: there is a wardrobe here. leo: [squeaky] JUST LIKE THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! CLOAK OF BILLOWIIIIIIIIING kepesk is All Over this locked chest awww yeah. AH FUCK HE GAVE HIS THIEVES TOOLS TO CARROWAY IN HIS BACKSTORY CAMPAIGN its ok nameless has a crowbar nameless rolled a nat1. kepesk Also struggles with the crowbar. alidaar walks in and starts fucking Wailing on it with his morningstar green: if this thing's a mimic this would be so messed up NAMELESS KICKED IT AND GOT A CRIT jorb: how does one get a crit on an unarmed strike?? the answer is "not very well". nameless then stubbed their toe YAHOO KEPESK CAME IN SWINGING WITH A 2HANDED WARHAMMER AND SMASHED THE CHEST god this was a mess jorb: it's a flat iron rod with a button on one end. leo: it's a Gun. OH MY GOD IT'S AN IMMOVABLE ROD you push the button and it just Freezes in place and cannot be moved! kepesk tries to put it in his pocket and forgot to unpress the button. i love kepesk green: imagine if you put it in your pocket and you buttpress the button

YEAAA ALIDAAR GETS THE CLOAK OF BILLOWING time to go back downstairs! alidaar steps on a staircase and it immediately collapses. whoops alidaar takes one last look at the weird figurines and considers taking his, but decides against it and walks out. also we may have started boar religion or something? meanwhile nameless grabs the tobias one and OOPS! COMBAT! THEYRE ALIVE! nyx: i use sacred flame. jorb: on which one? nyx: the.. binturong one. leo: nameless said no doubles.

alidaar is Really Sad about having to fight the twigblight of himself :( nyx wants to save the tobias one :( :( TWIGBIAS twigbias does 5 damage to nyx's discord and makes it so he can't hear anything kepesk sees what's happening and decides to stay out of it. targor: what's going on in there? [extended silence] AW NOOOO nameless tried to dispel magic but it didnt work.. WHY DOES NAMELESS HAVE A 25 POUND CHEST????? alidaar tries to shove twigbias in the chest. he drops the chest on his foot (nat1). good lord jorb: targor walks in and says "give me that" and grabs the chest off alidaar's toe.. [rolls a 3] ..and he drops it on HIS toe EVERYTHING HAS GONE SO FAR OFF THE RAILS Alidaar And Nameless Try To Shove Twigbias Into A Chest kepesk walks up. grabs twigbias. shoves him in. WE DID IT

OH MY GOD ONE OF THE BOARS IS A DUDE OH MY GOD. MORE INITIATIVE. WHAT IS HAPPENING. THE BOARS ARE MEN kepesk: you guys were eating with my horse this whole time?? okay so. earlier the boar religion comment was because when i was looking at the twigblight party jorb mentioned how we encountered a boar Ages ago and tobias used speak with animals to tell it to go away? and now we walk out of the manse and one of the boars goes YOU SHALL NOT PASS and turns into a dude. and now there are more dudes. and basically i think we have caused problems alidaar: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? [awkward silence] nyx: is he not gonna say anything? jorb: well, its not his turn, alidaar promptly charges at the pumpkin boar and slaps it clean in half okay cool the guy is a talos fanatic and is not gonna listen to me anyway. ah well it was worth a shot

one of the nettleblights(?) - oh yeah those guys are here too. big versions of the thornblights. one of them attacked zodiark so nameless blew it up talos, lord of boars, i walked away to get cake and when i came back it still wasnt my turn yet jorb: 30 to 40 feral hogs green: i thought [zodiark] would be really strong because he's a skeleton, but i was using mario logic, nameless: im gonna use sacred flame on.. the bitch! that is up my ass.

leo: hi im back whats up jorb: you're about to get owned! leo: oh. okay [thunderwave cave from pmd playing as alidaar gets electrocuted] LETS GIVE IT UP FOR ROUND 3 alidaar is covered in blood and he loves it. he's a fightboy! jorb: he was a gladiator! not willingly, but, leo: eh you have fun with it alidaar smacks a guy with a sword and then sticks his tongue out at him. >:P

alidaar is getting electrocuted again! leo: HOOH sorry there was a bug on my screen [right next to alidaar] jorb: you take 8 thunder damage irl [..] jorb: aw, i was trying to make it so he'd push you through the window leo: can i go through the window anyway? jorb: i mean, on your turn, if you want to,

GIANT'S MIIIIIGHT [super mushroom noise] alidaar supersizes, charges head-on at the final enemy (which is the one that tried to push me through a window), and uses his battleax to slap him straight into the sky and obliterate him on impact. alidaar: FUCK YOUUUUU leo: --and then he goes back to normal because combat ended. [checks skills] wait no this last one minute. and that was six seconds. um. jorb: you're large now! leo: alidaar stands there and goes "huh. i'm large now."

back to falcon's house! nameless brought back one of the boars for dinner :D nameless is having a normal experience with reality. what the fuck is happening. Kepesk And Alidaar Get One Boot Each targor is leaving! kepesk: aw, targor, but you're so based! nyx: don't speak those witch's words at him. I FORGOT KEPESK'S PRE-CAMPAIGN GROUP - IM GOING TO KILL JORB .RIGHT NOW kepesk's previous group was expies of the chaotix. targor was planned from the getgo to be mighty the armadillo. WAIT THE WILDERS ARE THE ONES THAT KILLED HIS PEOPLE. WE HAVE GASLIT HIM UNTIL THE VERY END green: i feel so bad, but yknow.. extenuating circumstances.. jorb: why does it keep spawning more namelesses? nyx: i shape back into binturong form. which hopefully there is only one of. AN INVISIBLE NAMELESS

jorb: do you guys wanna chat or are you just going to sleep? kepesk: so that was pretty fucked up, right? alidaar: yeah! kepesk: (at nameless) does it hurt when you go binturong mode, or? nameless: [shakes head] alidaar: sometimes they're a dog! --WAIT YOU WERE THERE FOR DOG WITH A SWORD kepesk: I WAS! :D

SOMETHING IS BREAKING INTO THE HUNTER'S LODGE AAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD. BIG BOAR BIG BOAR BIG BOAR

AAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...and that's the end of the session! CLIFF HANGERRRRRRR

we still have twigbias btw.

#leo chirps #ica.txt #doip.#dnd #mdnl #WHAT A GLORIOUS CHAOTIC RETURN.#the twigbias scene took So Long. it was like 10 minutes of chaos. poor jorb

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lumpiya · 2 years

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ash makes dumb puns in the store when him and babe go shopping.

———

*domino sugar lined up on the ground*

ash: BABE LOOK

*knocks one down and they all fall*

ash: ITS DOMINO SUGAR.

babe: asher…

—————

ash: OH MY GOD BABE LOOK

*sits down in rocking chair*

ash: SOME MAY EVEN SAY… THIS ROCKS

babe:

ash: wait no come back

—————

ash: babe what’s this?

babe: it’s bug spray. it kills bugs.

ash: oh…

*swings can around*

ash: I KILLED ONE. IT WORKS.

—————

babe: hehe honey do something with that! *points at pharmacy sign*

ash: huh?

babe: make a pun out of it!

ash: what does it say babe? i can’t read it. it’s to phar-

ash and babe: MACYYYYYYY

—————

ash: why is everyone trying to find him? i found him so easily.

*brings babe a nemo lunch box*

babe: god dammit-

—————

ash: what kinda name is this?

babe: hm?

*holds up happy birthday sticker pack*

ash: happy birthday aabbccddeeffgghhiijjkkllmmnnooppqqrrssttuuvvwwxxyyzz

—————

ash: YES. GO BEER GO BEER. GO GO DO IT DO IT.

babe: oh… root beer

ash: hehe yeah :)

babe: that wasnt that great babe…

ash: oh… well… i think i have some work to dew *pulls out mountain dew*

—————

ash: what are these diapers?? why does it say extra protection???? is it for soldier babies?? oh my god

babe: no honey it’s for babies that poop more.

ash: well of course they’re pooping more they’re in the army that is TERRIFYING.

—————

babe: oh my god ash they have heated blankets!

ash in the distance: yeah. uh huh. that’s what you get.

babe: ash?

ash who’s pushing the heated blanket on an olaf plushy:

babe: ASHER.

—————

ash: ooo babe can we get these?

babe: yeah what is it?

ash: *starts dropping the candy on the ground*

babe: honey-

ash: lets get 2 *keeps dropping the candy*

babe: ash-

ash: ooo 2 for 3 *continues*

babe: asher. *picks up candy*

babe: *reads hershey’s drops*

babe:

babe: istg-

—————

babe: tch big sour patch kids? arent those just sour patch adults??

ash: oh my god im going to marry you-

—————

ash: BABE BABE BABE

babe: hm?

ash: THEY HAVE FROZEN YOGURT.

babe: WHAT??

ash: SEE LOOK.

*shows them frozen (the movie) themed yogurt

babe:

ash: im sorry-

—————

ash: they told me they wanted to play volleyball with me but i told them i aint gon play with you unless you raisinets *holds up raisinets*

babe: ash-

—————

ash: someone real stupid asked me what this was *holds up can* and i was like it’s a can-uh-dUh (holds up canada dry ginger ale)

babe: wait i want that

ash: *sighs and puts it in cart*

—————

ash: i had a friend named Gertrude and we called them Gert for short, and they were in track so we would be like “GO-GURT. GOOOO” *holds up go-gurt*

babe: YOU HAVE FRIENDS??

ash: :(

babe: okay im sorry-

—————

me and my cousin were watching old liza koshy stuff and i thought of this :)

#redacted asmr #redacted asher #redacted babe #redacted asmr headcanons #redacted audio #redacted audio headcanons

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shikai-the-storyteller · 6 months

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QSMP PURGATORY FINALE

Liveblogging Phil's POV - Part 1

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 ]

Strap in lads, this is a longgggg liveblog.

NEW BOLAS EMOTE LETS GOOOO

Aw, the idea of a shared playlist is so sweet.

Yeah I'm sick of Purgatory it's super stressful watching it and seeing the Fandom being stupid about it. If they keep Purgatory going (which I doubt they'd do, but One Fear and all that) I might stop watching stream as much. It's really not my vibe. If I do watch I'll probably just solo Phil's POV and that's it. I've been watching Fit more than Phil lately (for once) but that's been stressful).

Whenever Phil and Roier interact I gain a +10 boost to my mood

Oh, Maximus was streaming? OK yeah he's definitely set off that bomb today LMAO

Noooo they're all shouting over Maximus and he just goes silent noooo :((( SHUT UP AND LET MAXIMUS SPEAK GOOD GOD

Thank you Phil and Mouse for answering him I was losing my mind

Roier and Etoiles arguing about stupid stuff with each other is so funny, I'm so glad Purgatory made them become so close

LMAO Etoiles I'm so sorry, your team just loves dying

It's sad that Maximus didn't log on more, I wish more people knew how funny he is and what a good RPer he is :(

Mouse is so funny too I wish I had time to watch her

44m - Phil: Do we have a choice? Tubbo: We always have a choice. Banger convo

46m - Etoiles: I could kill them naked You sure could dude

NOOO ETOILES DONT SAY THAT THE EGGS ARE GONNA HAVE A DEATH BATTLE MY HEART DROPPED INTO MY STOMACH oh nvm "Dapper clears" made me laugh. Pomme would be awesome too.

52m 30s - Two coffee beans and a wooden hoe I'm DYING

Cellbit was only holding back his murderous tendencies on the Island because of coffee (and Roier)

POP OFF ETOILES I KNOW THAT SONG!!!!

The pure serotonin of hearing Etoiles sing a Spanish song I know :')

Poor Maximus coming back after 30 minutes. Surely he isn't working on his bomb (copium)

LMAO Maximus and his new server

58m - Maximus: Gays, any news?

I love him

OH CRAP CUTSCENE

"I SPY WITH MY GIANT EYE" LMAO

Oh Phil is gonna wipe the floor with Tubbo

LMAO of course he says stick fight

Poor Etoiles he's suffering

"Switch your hearts to Hardcore" Ok, Slime said that as a joke but that'd go so hard

Thank god Phil is going to be honorable about it, I know Tubbo will be too.

SHAKING MY SCREEN PLEASE STOP TALKING OVER MAXIMUS EVERYONE!!! This is a topic we’ve talked about a billion time but man, I wish they could implement translations / subtitles into their group chat as well, every conversation during events is biased in favor of English speakers. Aypierre was based for speaking only French with Bad and Fit the other day.

I love Etoiles he’s so funny

I LOVE THAT PHIL AND TUBBO ARE TALKING THIS OUT, AGH!!! I LOVE COMMUNICATION I MISSED THIS!!!!! I hated the lack of communication during the first week and a half of Purgatory

LMAO CELLBIT BEING SO TOXIC TO BAGI I LOVE HIM HE’S SUCH A TERRIBLE LITTLE BROTHER

Awh, Fit checking in on Maximus :’)))) Fit’s always been so sweet to the OG Spanish-speaking members of the server, it melts my heart. He brings them up every so often during his streams and he’s always so kind.

I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THIS GAMBA IM SO SAD

LMAO I was gonna be like “Aw Tubbo being sweet about the kids” and then of course he’s like SCREW DAPPER, classic Tubbo

TUBBO HAD DREAMS ABOUT CELLBIT CHASING HIM DOWN WITH A KNIFE??? LMFAO This does not surprise me, somehow.

The only real winner of Purgatory is Antoine, he knew better than to log on while Purgatory was going on.

OH GOSH THE TRANSCRIPTIONS ARE A NIGHTMARE ok so it was definitely a good call to watch an English streamer for this. I know better than to rely on the transcripts / translation box during an event day with THIS many people online

PFTT ElQuackity wandering through

The gasmasks make me crack up so much because they remind me of a fly and also an old Majora’s Mask mask

“May the cursed team win” STOP BAITING THEM TBH I think they’re either all cursed or there is no cursed team

NOOOO I’m so sad I can’ hear the music Phil played during this fight

Screw it, pausing the VOD and pulling up my own hype music

I love seeing Phil going into sweat mode, his whole posture and expression shifts

Yeah no surprise there, Phil is cracked

Aww Bagi being so supportive of Tubbo is sweet

LETS GOOO WAY TO GO SLIME LMAO EVEN THE ADMINS WERE LIKE “FRICK THIS GUY” based

Wait noooo I just realized Pac isn’t online :(((((((((

Uh oh ladies

“I had my fun shuffling those friendships around” man wants to be taken seriously so bad with his little villain of the week speech PISS OFF oh ok just a few more games PHEW I thought he was ACTUALLY gonna pull a “Purgatory 2: Electric Boogaloo” on us and I was about to straight up turn off my computer and go to bed.

THE EYE IS GONNA PARTICIPATE????????

That’s sick as hell actually LETSGO I wanna see them wail on this circus clown

Phil: KILL HIS ASS KILL HIS ASS Phil just like me fr

“I’ve been close to you this entire time” Mouse: I’m gonna kill Quackity Based. Everyone immediately attacking the frickin admin I’m cackling LMFAO THEY ALL JUST KILL ELQUACKITY everyone be like “THIS IS FOR SENDING US TO HELL FOR 2 WEEKS THAT WAS SO STRESSFUL”

OH??? LETTERS NEXT TO THEIR NAMES??? Everyone except Aypierre, Bad, Fit, Baghera, Cellbit, Foolish, and Slime… Hmmmm… G I L G H S C M Ok well that’s a bunch of nonsense. I’m pausing the VOD I wanna try and work this out. Yeah I got nothing, I’m gonna keep watching for now lmao. I wonder if this is related to their tickets maybe? Though that doesn’t match up

Bagi has a 4 now??

I’d say “Maybe this is another ploy by the Eye to make them suspicious of each other and fight” but I think it’d be more interesting if the Eye was saying the truth this time

Aypierre (ha– “EYE-pierre” I wish someone made that joke) and Max having a private convo??? I’m sure there will be no major lore repercussions from whatever they’re talking about! (Copium)

LMAO I’m glad one of them was finally like “Is this a trap? Maybe we shouldn’t ALL run head-first into whatever this is.”

I swear if Quackity logged out to switch accounts or something–

I always wonder what “logging out” would translate to in the world. Would it just be like, the character falling asleep? Phasing out of existence? Hmm…

NOT ANOTHER FRICKIN ROULETTE WHEEL

1h 48m - Bagi: I think the one who should spin it is Phil! Phil:

Big mood Phil

I wonder if this is gonna determine what Egg we get back… will we only be able to rescue one? OH ACTUALLY NO – the Eye talked about multiple games. Maybe each game is about getting one of the Eggs back? That seems to easy though, I’m starting to wonder if they only get one Egg back. That would suck though because it implies that they’d have to do a whole Purgatory-esque event again for EVERY single Egg, and if they did that I’d drop dead.

Fit I love you, thank you for telling everyone to shut up and listen to Phil. Too much chaos.

Slime: I think I misclicked SHUT UP LMAOOO Oh so the Eye told Phil to spin it too, so they were right.

I FRICKIN KNEW IT THEY ONLY GET ONE EGG BACK

Poor Phil :(((( That’s so much pressure on him

THE WORKER HAS AN EYE WTF Lmao Roier immediately laughs at it Is that supposed to be the thing that was “close to them” all along? That doesn’t make any sense.

Ok cards on the table here: my first choice would be Richarlyson. I know this is all RNG based, but he’d be my first choice of all the alive Eggs. I’m almost certain it won’t be him though, I feel like it’s gonna be Tallulah or something.

Number 7? Roier: Vegetta? 777? Pftt

LMFAO NO SHOT SLIME ACTUALLY SCREWED IT UP

They should’ve just had Phil be the only one in the room– OH DOOR? Slime: YOU COULDN”T AFFORD A FASTER DOOR? GET THEIR ASS SLIME LMAO

Foolish: I’m drowning! Oh wait no, I meant the opposite of that. Pfttt

That frickin one-eyed worker looks so tired I wonder if that’s the worker Cucurucho sent, and it just got possessed by the Eye dude since the Eye didn’t have a physical body or didn’t want to show them its actual physical body or something? Hmmmmm.

RICHARLYSON AND POMME??

OH WAIT ITS ALL THE EGGS OH NO

OH NO DO THEY HAVE TO PICK ONLY ONE???

OH THANK GOD THEY CAN GET OUT wait but no they're blocked by glass still?

RICHASSSS CHAYANNE SOBS!!!

RAMONNNNNNNN FIT CALLING FOR RAMON IM GONNA CRY, THAT'S HIS BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY MADE IN HEAVEN BY GOD HIMSELF

I'm so sorry Chayanne but that did make me laugh

Phil: You did well Me: *BURSTS INTO TEARS*

LMAO Why is Tallulah just dancing

Ramon: Took u long enough to find me Me: *BURSTS INTO TEARS EVEN MORE*

Bro I missed the Eggs so much dude :( I know we probably won’t get them all back rn but it’s so nice just seeing them

FRICK OFF, DON’T MAKE THEM STAY HERE I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF

Slime: My sleep schedule, no–

1h 55m - Foolish: CUCURUCHO, BREAK US OUT! FRICKIN FOR REAL, CUCURUCHO GET THEM OUT OF THERE IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE IF I HAVE TO SEE ONE MORE DAY OF PURGATORY

Cucurucho please get your ass over here

FRICKIN REAL AS HELL ETOILES

Genuinely though, if they kept this event going any longer I think so many streamers would actually quit and I wouldn’t even blame them. I’d probably drop it too for a while, it’s just way too much stress.

WAIT NO RAMON DOESN”T HAVE HIS MOUSTACHE oh wait no

Tallulah: So he is not here? again? :( I hate to be that guy but literally what did you expect LMAO his ass is NOT coming back for some random Purgatory event

Phil: Don’t worry, I am here. HELL YEAH YOU ARE!!! BEST DAD PHIL

Oh… Phil running between Tallulah and Chayanne breaks my heart a little bit :(((

I wonder if Chayanne is separated because he’s the leader / eldest of the group. :(

Maximus: Guys, I’m gonna explode an atomic bomb. Phil: WHAT?

IM FRICKIN CRYING, MAXIMUS PLEASE, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE BUT NOW IS NOT EITHER

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD”VE FRICKIN LISTENED TO MAXIMUS EARLIER!!!!!!!!

Head in my hands everyone is STILL talking over him while he’s doing this big important lore thing. I am dying. Maximus you deserve the world I am so sorry.

On a meta level, I wonder how many creators actually KNEW that Maximus had a bomb because I know for a fact at least a few of them were genuinely in the dark

This is miserable actually, I’m pulling up Maximus’ VOD rn because this is genuinely frustrating me. “Everyone always talks over everyone else in an event” and all, I know I know, but it still sucks to see.

MAXIMUS’ VOD INTERLUDE

OH DANG HE REALLY JUMPED STRAIGHT INTO THE LORE Lmfao not the cutesy hello in the midst of tense music, Max I love you.

Bro I’m about to start posting Sapo Peta clips, I NEED people to know how insanely good this man is at storytelling and RP, nobody frickin Gets It

I’m jumping to his conversation with Aypierre.

Aypierre: I’m a little curious Maximus: You can keep that “curious” in your mind. I love him.

1h 16m - Maximus: When all of this is finished, you won’t need my trust anymore. Banger line.

Aypierre: …Are you gonna kill yourself, Maximus? No, don’t do that. AGH.

Maximus: Maybe. AGH!!!!!!

Head in my hands, Maximus saying hi to Tina and getting no response, I think she was AFK

1h 18m - Maximus: I don’t trust you.

LMAO not Aypierre saying “I won’t kill you anymore.” Completely normal thing to say.

Aypierre: Will it kill only the Federation, or everyone? Maximus: *dead silent* Me: YEAH ALRIGHT, BUCKLE IN BOYS IT’S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Maximus what the hell is wrong with your facecam

Maximus just laughing after the Eye said they couldn’t leave. Badass.

Nobody listening to Maximus. I am chewing a live wire.

Bagi I love you but your volume is so frickin loud in everybody’s POV I’m dying

OH WTF ITS THE EYE THING????

THAT”S FRICKIN TERRIFYING WHAT THE HELL

That being said: absolutely badass of Maximus to just reveal where it is

AYO WHAT IS *THAT*

THAT SKIN IS FRICKIN HORRIFYING WHAT *IS* THAT QUACKITY

LMFAO POOR CHAYANNE JUST HIDING IN THE CORNER WHILE FRICKIN ELDRITCH MONSTER ELQUACKITY IS STANDING 2 FEET AWAY FROM HIM

I hit the word limit so I'm splitting this liveblog into 3 separate posts! Please see Part 2 and Part 3 here for the rest.

#i talk #qsmp talk

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atherix · 2 years

Note

EXCUSE ME?????????????

SCAR INVOKING SOMEONE NAMES TO LET HIM CONVINCE WILBUR TO LET SCAR KEEP TUBBO IM SADFGLHK I know its not the first time Scar has invoked a name in the series but everytime he does it it makes my brain melt and i BRAIN is already MELTED

Also oh my god poor tubbo - hes so scared 😭😭😭but he trusts scar and knows scar is going fix and even if scar doesnt fucking know if he can fix it i am adfldkfgdfs so normal about dad scar. I am So Normal.

I love too the tubbo's just like "they're leaving and i dont wanna go" and scar's resolve is right then and there

AND THEN????? AND THEN YOU DARE TO REMIND ME THE MAN IS DYING??????????? HOW DARE YOU - 'He thinks he can hold on long enough for tubbo to have a family' YEAH! YEAH HE CAN! I AM GONNA!!!! I AM!!!! SUPLEXING YOU FROM A DISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also Scar having to STEEL HIMSELF TO STEAL A CHILD DFSJFELH TO USE FAE COMPULSION ON A PERSON TO DO SOMETHING THAT MAYBE ISNT TOTALLY MORALLY SOUND BUT ITS *FINE* ITS ***FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE***

dgdslhxvfg this is so good. the girlies are eating dad scar for breakfast and thriving for it

Heehee <3

HJHDJKHFDSK YEA LMAO it might not be the first time in the series but it is the first time chronologically <3 I mean after you've invoked Some Guy(TM)'s name to convince him to let you keep the child his family has been responsible for invoking someone's name to convince them to leave the vicinity of danger seems so small <3

Tubbo is just. I wish to hold him in my hands jhfdhj he trusts Scar to help him <3 he doesn't wanna goooo hgjkdfjk and Scar succeeds I just hjgjfkd <3

Scar DID NOT hesitate. He KNEW there were other people willing to adopt Tubbo and he went for it anyway jkfdklsgjk

I MEAN I HAD TO MENTION IT EVENTUALLY LMAO <3 He's determined to survive to see Tubbo grow up and have a family of his own <3 Does this imply that Scar only lived this long because of Tubbo? Maybe.

HJKFSFSHJKFDKLS HE JUST LIKE "I KNOW THIS IS TOTALLY NOT MORALLY CORRECT BUT TUBBO DOESN'T WANT TO GO AND I CAN STOP IT." And it's a good thing it was Wilbur and not Phil because Scar's compulsion WOULD NOT HAVE WORKED ON PHIL. For reasons. If Wilbur's magic was more polished and practiced... but oh well, who has time to think of the what-ifs :) BUT YEAHHH HHJHJFSD he feels so conflicted about it he's such a Fae tho stealing a child thru magical means, honestly-

<3 I am thriving writing the dad!Scar I am. Thriving and dying I am-

#ask #midnight series #hermitshipping #tagged for filtering purposes #do I need to tag for #kidnapping #???#I mean is it kidnapping if the kid begs you not to let them be taken away from everything they know?#anyway I love Scar's little Fae moments

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joyofmissout · 2 years

Text

welcome to becas pitchfork

(I DONT LIKE THE SPOTIFY CASE THANKS GOD I'LL DOWNLOAD IT ILLEGALLY HOPE DEEMIX HAS A BETTER ONE)

1- hot: oh my god its an intro ITS AN INTRO. the whistles are sooooo cool. JUICY JUICY. dont like the autotune :((( PRECHORUS bless dk and his voice. autotune again :( THE CHORUS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM DANCINGGG BROOMBROOM BOOM BOOM. YESS WOOZI WITHOUT AUTOTUNE. the pause is so fucking good too omg. the bridge is so prettyyy jeonghannnnnn <3333333 um..the high note is weird. AGAIN THIS POST CHORUS SO GOOD. OK i liked it a lot!!!! thanks god the autotune shows up only in certain parts!

2- don quixote: im so excited for this one if youre subscribed u know how much shell change my life. ok lets go. WHAT IS THIS BEGGINGINKHK HOLY HSITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIM CRYINGGGGGG VENRONONNNNNNNNNNNNN VERNON VENRNON ITS SO FUCKING REAL WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK IS THATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. JESUS CHRIST. HOSHI HOSHI HOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ITS SUCH A SEVENTEEN SONG IM CRYING I NEED THIS LIVE. WHAT THE FUCK AGAIN WHERES THE PRETTY PART IM SO CONFUSED MY HANDS UP. SEUNGKWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. IM CRUIGNG. IT AINT REAL BABE ITS REAL BABE. JUN HELP HELP. WHAT IS THIS SONG FUCK HELP MMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. its over? its over?…its less than 3 minuts. hello? 10/10. im almost rying

3- march: ok if youre subscribed u know this one is also a special one for me. lets go. THE EBGGINGINNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOLLLYYY HISTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT HOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HOSHI SHOHIS HOSHIIII OH MY GUCKING GOD SHES MY ONE. SEUNGKWAN. GET IT COUPS. LIKE A FUCKING COWBOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY THIS CHORUS IS SO AMAZING I NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS LVIE FUCK U SEVENTEEEEEEN. this rap is weird. OK LETS GO. WHOS THAT. HTE CHORUS IS SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOOD THIS SHOULD BE ATITLE TOOO HOLYY HSITIITTIITITTTTTT. FUCK U SEVENTEEN I HATE U IF U DONT COME TO MY HOUSE AND PLAY THIS IM GONNA MURDER U . IM GIONG TO LISTEN TO THIS ONE EVERYDAY NO JOKE. holy shit. like a fucking cowboy. shes my wife. 10000000000000000000000000000/10 i LOVE U

4- domino: ok im gonna keep it real im not excited for her but lets see. ok cute. jeonghan i love u (normally). this beat is so niceeee!!!! hoshi <3 this part is pretty. OHHHH nice drop im dancing im dancingggg. OHHH NICE. WAIT IS THIS A UNIT SONG??? no its not mingyu is here. 3 2 1 domino!!! seungkwan youll always be famous. ohh shes so cute pretty love it <333 gives me ymmday vibes <3 OHHH WHAT. WAIT. WE PARTYING AT A CLUB RN. vernon<3 ily (normally) oh shes perfect for ymmday ^__^<333 liked it too!

5- shadow: again subscribers know how i feel. lets go. the beginning. FAST WERE GOING FAST. shes also a svt one<332 THE INSTRUMENTALSSS OOOOOOOOOOO. SHADOW MY SHADOW MY SHADOWWWWW. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHES SOOOO GOOOOD<33333333333333333333 SVT REALNESS. i love how fast this part is what the hell what is this called its fast. this prechorus<3 ^__^<33333 HOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VERNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON ILY NORMALLY . DK GET IT GET IT GOOOOOO ths chorus is everything on earth. i also need to listen to her live or else i will die. DINO GET IT GOOOO CMON GO YESSSSSS. THE FUCKING GUITAR. WONWOOS VOICE??????? WHO WAS THAT??????? oh jeonghan<3 i love her shes everything too<333

6- 'bout you: ik this one is going to b cute. boom boomboom!!!!1 also svts realness<333 so cute and nice<3 hoshi ily normally. minghao youll always b famous ily. VERNON PEW PEW PEW. its not my cup of tea but its a v nice song <3333 OH GET IT. wait is this a unit song. wheres everyone. hold on. ok shes cute ^_^

7- if you leave me: ok ik theyre going to EAT. WHOS THAT? DINO???????????????????? WHOS THATTTTT. speechless. go seungkwan. WHO. VERNON SINGING??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? im going to die. shes so beautiful. i love her. OHH TIS PART. OH MY GOD WHAT. vernon singing? again? help lol… JEONGHAN MY LOVE. GET IT DK. HOSHI GOOOOOOOO HOSHI HOSHI HOSHI HOSHI ALERT. THEYRE SINGERS FUCK! WHOS DOING THAT IN TH BG. MINGHAO????????????????????????????????????????????? oh my god this part. mingyu? help lolll. ITS OVER? god amazing. ily seventeen. youre singers youre everything.

8- ash: not excited for this one ngl. why do we have different tastes vernon…anyway lets go ig. ok holy fuck. ok what. oh no the autotune again :D ok this is cool. ew what th. vernon :) ok king eat. is she a unit song. OK EAT KING. hes so sexy sorry. THIS THING BEFORE THE CHORUS IS SO FUNNY KFKFJKFJKL the instrumentals are SO COOL i just dont like what theyre doing with the voices…tf…OK WOOZI. ok duet. WHAT IS THAT KFLKJFKLDJLDFKJFJLDFKJLDK OK HIGH NOTES. this effect of wheels is cool. what did i just listened. congrats svt on your first fart autotuned song!!!!

ok my final ranking is MARCH > don quixote (just bc youre too short >:() > shadow > hot > domino = if you leave me = darling (cant choose sorry...) > 'bout you >>>> ash D:

#this is so long help i wrote on my notes app and now look at that.#thanks for coming to my svt talk #see u all in 6 months #dont believe my ranking btw im a libra

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thelovelybitten · 10 months

Text

vera’s first watch of south park — season five (part 1)

lfg babes i’m bored so lets watch

EPISODE 1:

LETS GO NEW SEASONNNNNN

KEPT THE BANGER INTRO YES WOOOOTTT

there’s a shit counter HAHAH LETS SEE HOW THIS GOES LMAO

BUTTERS VANDALIZING THE WALL

but tbh he slayed it

EVERYONE EXCITED ABT THE FUCKING SHIT LINE I CAN’T

kyle: i don’t give a fuck (SO REAL)

NOT THE CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HAHAH

huh ?? raining frogs ???

timmy SAID IT LETS GO

kyle is abt TO BLOW UP

sand in the vagina — cartman will not let him go

GARRISON NOT THE F SLUR

S H I T

what the fuck are these the seven deadly sins or sumth

cartman and his shirt LMAO

okay KYLE POP AWF he’s my smart bby boy

shit…twice, BFFR

chef helping the core four solve this stuff KING SHIT

CARTMAN STOP

no NOT KENNY ANYONE BUT KENNY PLS

okay who the fuck is this guy

no kenny looks so sick :’(

oh WHAT THE HELL

a rune ??? okay

LAS VEGASSSSS LET’S GOOOO

GANDALF???

MEECROB OH MY GOD CARTMAN WAS RIGHT

JIMBO IS A HOMOSEXUAL INTERESTING

shit counter thru the roof

not A WHOLE ASS DRAGON

CARTMAN LET IT GO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

KYLE PREACHING 2 THE GOSPEL ICONIC

oh that was fucking feral i did not need to see all of kenny’s intestines

interesting ep

EPISODE 2:

FIRST NIGHT OF SCOUTS ?????

yO STAN THAT WAS OUTTA POCKET

timmy being strapped onto the back of the pickup

BUTTERS

KENNY AND STAN’S DAD ARE SHOOK

JIMMYYYYYY

give timmy his spotlight pls

well. last season he got it so ig give jimmy it

not the homophobia….

OKAY JIMMY POP OFF

JIMMY PLEASE NOT THE PLAN B JOKE

TIMMY BEING ROBBED BUT I LOVE JIMMY

BIG SILLY GOOSE

YOU DO NOT SAY BIG SILLY GOOSE— YOU CALL HIM AN ASSHOLE LIKE A NORMAL KID

but dad, i was just trying to—

STANLEY YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND AN ASSHOLE THIS INSTANT.

asshole.

CRACKED ME UP LMAO

troop 69 oh they knew what they were doing

jimmy this is so bad

oh BUT THESE IMPRESSIONS FUCKING SLAYED

okay BUT DON’T GET TIMMY I’LL BE MAD

jimmy deserved

homophobia is not cute STOP

oh MY GOD TIMMY KNOWS WHAT’S UP

kenny jacket is bad luck ig

the way jimmy avoided everything

jimmy ripping on timmy is not cool i’m mad

NAKED PICTURES ?!?!?!?! NOT THE CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

butters tryna explain they being exploited

not THE PUPPIES CARTMAN

OH THEY FIGHTIN

kenny’s parents and brother in the chapel aw

OH FUCK THEY GOING AT ITTT

everyone and their mothers watching two disabled kids beat each other up… weird

not THE NUTS

NOT IT BEING BROADCASTED

hc: all those boys are scarred abt their nude photos being taken and the unfortunate thing is the photos get leaked when they’re in college and it’s so bad :(

wait has kyle not been here the whole time.

WAIT

oh FUCK KYLE WASN’T HERE

prolly bc of his religion or sumth

anyways get the homophobes so true and real

real

wait what

timmy wyd

timmy OH MY GOD LMAOOOOO

okay that last bit was funny alr

EPISODE 3:

radiohead special guests???

cartman wtf u mean u got pubes

wait what the fuck

stan real

KYLE ATE

nah don’t mess w cartman

CARTMAN U DID NOT ATTACH THOSE—

oh lord…

damn scott gaslit the gaslighter

this what he gets for being 8 years old

oh beg FOR IT HE SAID GET HIM

also cartman deserves it

WOW SCOTT IS RUTHLESS

WENDY IN FRAME I MISS HER

everyone is so… dumbfounded

GOD CARTMAN LMAO THIS IS GOING NO WHERE

uhm. this is so awk

undercover cartman

okay pls hold must feed my cats

okay am back

wait must control my cats

back fr

NED NO

also wtf

cartman pls this is a gag

scott one upping cartman is so iconic

YO CARTMAN THIS WAS GENIUS NGL

WHAT THE FUCK CARTMAN THAT WAS TOO MESSED UP

tbh don’t mess w cartman

anyways gonna go 2 bed will continue at a later date

EPISODE 4:

GOOD EVENING GAMERS IM BACC

let's get’r done

not the terrance n phillip shit i dispise them

they shitting their PANTS FOR T AN P

kyle real for waiting for those tickets

oh kyle abt to eat those words oh no

YO TERRANCE IS BIG BRO

wait who the fuck is this

“kenny’s a random slut” damn cartman

clyde i love u my son

THEY GOING TO CANADA MY HOME

phillip being part of an acting crew ok

cartman right kyle oh boy

KENNY’S ARM WHAT THE FUCK— HE GONNA BLEED OUT

NOT HIS OTHER ARM :’((((

i’m sad abt kenny this is torture

mid ep :/

EPISODE 5:

oh damn… i’m sorry cartman

oh no wait this boy being ungrateful as normal

HUH SHE LEFT CARTMAN 1 MILLION DOLLARS

OH NO EGOMANIAC IS ON THE RISE

WENDY WYD FOLLOWING CARTMAN

kyle being real part 8393659373

he gonna. buy a whole ass amusement park for himself

NO NOT THE HEMORRHOID

not style angst

CARTMANLAND how fucking fitting.

style gonna beat his ass as they should

I NEED MY CWEAM— I NEED MY CWEEEEEEEM

properTAH

kyle in his delulu era

butters and clyde icons

STAN LSNDNCHSJDNCN I WISH U GOT AWAY W IT

KYLE U BETTER NOT DIE

kenny got bodied by that pole

kyle PLEASE MY SON DON’T DO IT

I LOVE WHEN KARMA KICKS CARTMANS ASS

“YOU ARE UP THERE ;”)” KYLE DSKHGHDSGSJJS UNHINGED

#faves: south park #viv watches #CARTMANLAND EP SLAYED #runner up was the scott malkinson ep #!!!#gettin goin #WOO

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flowersbby · 4 years

Text

Star Struck | Corpse Husband x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Swearing (If I’m missing any let me know please! :) )

a/n: You’re a model/ streamer in this one! :D I’m thinking about if I should turn this into a series or not? Lmk what you think. I hope you like it <3

It was a nice morning. The sun was shining through the tall windows that showed you a view of your balcony onto your bed, there was a slight breeze so it wasn’t too hot, and you could hear the birds chirping with the occasional honking due to LA traffic. The only reason you woke up was because the sun was shining right in your face. You groaned and put a pillow over your face. I really don’t want to get up right now. Just a few more minutes.. You thought and right as you were about to take the pillow off your face and turn over onto your other side so you could go back to sleep, your phone started ringing. “Ugh!” You groaned once again and reached for your phone that was on your nightstand. You looked at the caller ID and saw that it was your manager, Chris. You accepted the call and put the phone to your ear. “What do you want?” You asked in an annoyed and tired tone. You were definitely NOT a morning person. You hated mornings.

“Oh my God,” He said in a rushed tone, “Have you literally JUST woken up? You have a photoshoot in 2 hours! Makeup and wardrobe are waiting for you down here!” Your eyes widened. You completely forgot about it.

“I-I’ll be right there!” You told him and hung up. You sprang out of bed and almost ran to your walk in closet, your eyes scanning for a top that would match the black leather skirt you wanted to wear for the day. You decided on a black mesh body suit with a black crop top under it. All black today. like your soul. You quickly put on some black heels and brushed your hair, cringing at how the brush tugged on your hair when it reached a knot. You didn’t bother doing your makeup since your makeup team would take it off anyway. You fast walked to the door of your apartment, grabbed your purse off the hook, and opened your door to leave to your photoshoot.

🖤🖤🖤

After a lot of yelling from Chris for holding the makeup and wardrobe team up, you did your photoshoot and got to go home. When you got home, you took a mirror picture of your outfit and uploaded it to Instagram, putting the caption as “Fashionably Late 🖤💋”. You smiled at the influx of likes right as it posted. You were truly lucky to have your supporters, but you wanted one person in particular to see it.

Corpse’s POV

I was casually playing Among Us with my friends while they streamed when I felt my phone vibrate slightly on my lap. I began to feel anxious to check my phone since I only have notifications on for one person but I didn’t want to take my eyes off the screen since I was following Jack, who I was sus of. Right when him and I entered electrical, he broke my neck. I felt relieved though since I got to finally look at (y/n)’s post.

My eyes widened when I saw the picture of her outfit. She looked good. Very good. I double tapped on it and immediately went to the comment section out of curiosity of what other people were saying. I looked at all the comments saying how pretty she was and smiled, but the comments made by creepy people made my blood boil. I wish I could just reply to them and say “That’s my girl. Stop.” but we both agreed to keep our relationship out of the public eye and I was truly fine with that. I just wish I could protect her from the creeps out there.

I wasn’t even paying attention to the game until I suddenly saw “Victory” appear on my screen. “Let’s goooo!” I said into the mic. Everyone else was celebrating as well.

“Hey!” Rae exclaimed, “Let’s get (y/n) in here, she just got home.” My heart skipped a beat and I smiled.

“Yes!” I said a little too excited. Everyone else didn’t notice it though and agreed with me. I quickly texted her out of excitement.

Your POV

After receiving an invite from Rae and booting up your computer, as well as getting everything prepared to stream, you got a text from Corpse. You quickly grabbed your phone to respond back to whatever he said.

My Love 😊💖💖

im so excited to hear your voice

i’ve missed you

You blushed at his messages. You thought about what to text back for a minute until you figured out what to say.

You

I have so much to tell you from today

I missed you so much bb

ft later?

You set your phone back on your desk and loaded up Among Us, joining the discord call while you wait. You were greeted by everyone as you joined.

“(Y/n)! Good noon!” Greeted Rae. You smiled as everyone in the call erupted in hello’s.

“Hey, (y/n).” Corpse said after everyone else had their chance to greet you.

Your stomach did backflips from him just saying your name. “Hi~” You said in a sing songy voice and started streaming. “How are all you guys doing?” You asked as your picked up your water from your desk and started drinking.

“Good now that you’re here..” Corpse muttered. You choked on your water and erupted in coughing, taken aback from what he said. Good thing your were muted.

“Corpse?!” Yelled Poki.

“What did you say?!” Also yelled Felix. The rest were just erupting in Aw’s.

“U-uh,” Corpse stuttered, “I meant that because (y/n) is such a good imposter and I’ve been a little off my game today so I’m hoping we get imposter together so I have some content for a video.” Good cover up.. You thought as your coughing got under control. I think he forgot to mute himself.

“Yeah!” You exclaimed, “We got this my dude!” You took a glance at chat and saw everyone going crazy. Half of them were typing in all caps asking for someone to clip that moment, and half were shipping you and corpse.

“I can only play one game anyway,” Corpse said, “I have stuff to do.” You frowned at what he said. You haven’t gotten to talk with him all day because of how rushed you were this morning and now you won’t have time to talk with him now because of how different your schedules are. Even though you two loved each other a lot you have had your arguments about this with him. You hate that he lives two hours from you or else this wouldn’t be an issue. You would be over at his house everyday if he lived in LA. You hated long distance.

You had a great time playing with your friends, but when Corpse left you got a little gloomy. He wasn’t answering your texts either. You sighed and changed into his hoody he left in your closet when he visited last and put on some grey pajama shorts. You tied your hair into a messy bun so it wouldn’t get in your way for the rest of the night even though you were just going to watch Netflix in your bed and eat chips. After grabbing your snacks, you walked to your bedroom and opened the glass door to the balcony in your room, turned your LED lights to (f/c), got comfortable in your bed, and turned on your favorite show on your TV.

You were scrolling through Instagram as you heard a knock at your door. A scared feeling washed over you and you paused what you were doing. It was like you were frozen in time and if you made one sudden movement everything would come crashing down. They knocked again. You were scared that some crazed fan found your address to your apartment. Cautiously, you walked to your door and looked through the peek hole. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and a wide grin appeared on your face as you saw who it was. You quickly unlocked your door and opened it. You wasted no time and grabbed Corpse’s face and kissed him with so much passion you didn’t want to stop. He lifted you up and held your thighs in his hands, walking into your apartment and shutting the door with his foot. “I’ve missed you so much baby.” He breathed as he kept kissing you.

You pulled away from the heated session and Corpse carefully placed you on your feet. You hugged him. “I missed you too.” You said and didn’t want to let go. Corpse placed a kiss on your head as he hugged you and rubbed your back. You realized something and pulled away from the hug. “Where’s your stuff?” Noticing he didn’t have a suitcase.

He looked at you with a blank expression. “Fuuuckk....” He groaned. “I forgot it.”

You looked at him confused. “How do you forget your stuff. It’s a two hour drive here!” You laughed.

He scratched the back of his neck embarrassed. “I really missed you and I was excited to surprise you,” He explained. “I didn’t want to get here late and have you asleep so I didn’t even think about packing.”

You smiled. “Well, at least you have a ton of clothes here you’ve left.”

He smirked, looking at his hoodie on your body. “Yeah, I see that.”

You smirked back at him, turned around, and began to walk back into your bedroom, wanting him to follow you. Corpse quickly swept you off your feet and put you over his shoulder, plopping you on the bed as he got on top of you. He looked into your eyes. “I’m tired.” He muttered.

“Let’s cuddle then, baby.” You smile. He smiles back at you tiredly as he moves off you to be the big spoon, pulling you against him by wrapping his arm around your waist. You felt happy in that moment. You finally got to be with the only man who loves you for you physically, instead of two hours away. You both fell asleep, taking in this moment.

#corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x y/n

895 notes · View notes

dreamii-yume · 3 years

Text

SPOILERSSS for Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 : 1-16!!!

*rubs hands* aight it wont take long before genshin has me in its gacha hell grasp again, I just barely escaped this time— NOW ITS TIME TO SEE THE BOIS CHAPTER 6 omg— wtf happened last time lol it’s been too long

So, no voice over because of some problems which is understandable but— meh I don’t feel like reading lol So I’m watching otome ayui translations this time, because im that one dumbass student who skipped kanji class and now i cant read without sounding like im five _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): “what up im yume im way passed 19 and i never fucking learned how to read”

Also watching Hanayura Kanon stream for the rest that’s not yet been translated lol Because he’s very good at voice acting for the characters and he’s funny af lol

- OKAY OKAY— WTF HAPPENED EXPLAIN

- Fun fact : I haven’t watched Hercules yet so I legit don’t know what’s about to come lol

- Aw, that’s cute— We called over Ace and Deuce late at night AND THEY REALLY CAME OVER AAAAA

- I forgot how fckin pure their friendship is _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight, so we actually have a huge-ass scratch from feral Grim lol That’s just fantastic, isn’t it

- FINALLY— We’re talking about Mickey and the stones my monster cat has been eating with Crowley AAAAA

- “Yeah there’s this bitch called mickey and i took his photo—“

- WE’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS. AFTER 6 CHAPTERS.

- Bruh this crystal of blot sounds really dangerous why are we discussing this just now

- Speaking of this crystal, Crowley— you were looking for this crystal in chap one and when we asked you about wtf you’re trying to find you just went— “oH itS NothING.”

- I SUPPOSED ITS NOT NOTHING NOW IS IT

- I didnt see you searching for crystals after every chapter mr. crowley where were you 👁👄👁 dont you think it was weird that you didnt see a single one after like— five blotting incidents

- Oh so its rare i see— BRUH R U SURE ABOUT THAT grim literally found one every single chap LMAO

- Okay okay— see, he may be violent but listen— you aint gonna throw out my fucking cat okay

- Wh— THERE WAS A FESTIVAL!? Im dumb so its not just VDC LOL

- Listen LISTEN— GRIM IS FINE. HOLD UP— NO NEED TO THROW HIM OUT JUST LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM

- Aww, Ace and Deuce looked pissed about it too AAAAHH THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE BOIS

- BRUH NO— ALL THE DORM LEADERS TO GO AND CAPTURE GRIM?? HE’LL DIE

- CROWLEY PLS— WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, HONEY

- #Grimportectionsquad

- “It’s bout time for them to come” Who?

- FUCKING— CROWLEY STOP SAYING ITS NOTHING— This is why this school is so fucked, you never tell us anything ahead of time _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight he left, Ace Deuce hurry help me what you guys got

- He may be a monster but see— the worst he did is eat the whole tuna stack SO PLS HES STILL BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- THATS RIGHT DEUCE MY MAN GRIM CAN DO NO BAD I SWEAR

- HE WOULDNT EVER AGAIN I SWEAR

- Ace ヽ(；▽；)ノ The character development— im so proud of you, son

- THIS IS THE BOISSS— LETS GOOOO

- Fuck this is so beautiful— just me and the bois on our way in the middle of the night to find our MISSING CAT I—

- CROWLEY REALLY DID ASSEMBLE THEM DORM LEADERS AAAAAAA AT THIS HOUR TOO WTF

- BRUH WE CAN TALK

- Kalim Kalim Kalim Vil Vil Vil— Pls we’ve been through so much last chapter ＨＥＬＰ

- Leona…A big fat ｍｏｏｄ honestly lmao

- Ey ey riddle pls— dont make this any more difficult—

- Shut up azul stay where u are all you’ve done is nothing but chaos since you arrive so SHHH

- MALLEUS IS NOT HERE AGAIN LILIA PLS— where is he when we need him the most LOL

- Ortho, your bro where?? Also— SURVIVAL STATUS BRUH—

- YES PLS DONT HURT HIM OMG

- oh i forgot idia lives in his tablet LOL OF COURSE

- Omg he’s in the apple trees still looking scary as shi aaaaaaa pls kitty come home u just had too much catnip

- OH GOD 15m HE’S CLOSE

- “Starting operation” ORTHO WHAT TF

- EY EY EY oh good he’s knocked out sighhh

- Aight I know this has been translated but I can’t help but to look at the original japanese and im just— wtf is RTS and TAS idia i dont understand this advanced gamer otaku language

- But Idia and Ortho really do be speedrunning on who can fucking kick my cat the hardest LOL

- THATS RIGHT IDIA You understand me— Fellow cat lovers unite, Grim is very cute, he can’t do no bad

- …so can i have him back pls—

- Can we just appreciate the fact that these bois are willing to take the risk of getting their heads chopped off by Riddle by doing all this for us??

- If this isnt what you call true friendship then i dont know what this is

- Lol ambrose is going to appear in this festival again and crowley’s prideful ass is QUAKING

- WHY are we not allowed to see him crowley im sure we can handle it— We’re the BOIS. CMON

- Imagine if they just summon a fcuking— magic vet or something lol

- It’s the next day lol

- HAH ITS THE VDC LOSERS BY ONE VOTE SQUAD

- I mean the NRC Tribe— ٩( ᐛ )و

- VIL. what you have my queen

- Vil pls dont remind me that my cat isnt here but thank you for saying thank you i do not deserve—

- AWW THE ADEUCE SQUAD LOOKS SO SAD AAAAA

- Vil i miss the bad bitch but absolute oneesan energy but the apology— yeah are we gonna cry again lol

- AAAAAAHH why am i so proud— THAT vil is apologizing

- You dont need to maam what we had in chapter 5 was a fucking journey i regret nothing

- I swear if rook goes like— bitch that aint beautiful imma bonk him I WILL DO IT dont think i forgot what u did last chap

- Man i love me a man who can openly admit his mistakes MMMGH

- Rook i swear—

- Im glad that we’re not toning down ace’s brutal honesty lol

- BRUHHH I DONT LIKE IT WHEN VIL US TAKING ALL THE BLAME i mean what he said was kinda true BUT STILL

- Cheer up Vil, it’s not like it’s a complete failure anyways (；ω；) it was fun at least

- Hearing Jamil encourage Vil like this feels surreal BUT YES BOI U TELL EM

- What is this beautiful character development

- Ooff way to hit where it hurts the most vil my queen lol

- AAGH IT HURTS VIL RECOGNIZING NEIGE’S HARDWORK LIKE THIS— THE PRIDE I CAN FEEL IT ＣＲＡＣＫ

- Bruh we appreciate Neige’s impeccable smile in this household— REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE NEIGE’S GON BE A BAD BOI??? WELP—

- It was me, i was that person and i shall drown in apple juice for it

- Of course, the ultimate Neige simp already knows that lol

- Bruh the background music has no business being this sad　ｓｔｏｐ

- I hate it when vil is right sometimes omg— TRUEEE KALIM especially wouldn’t be able to stand properly on stage after knowing Neige’s own hardships aaaa

- NOO BABY DONT CRY

- Vil redemption arc??? 👀👀 you can help us cure our cat—

- !? Are we gonna get that money promised in that poster?? 👀👀

- WHAA FUCKING WAHAA VIL IS GONNA PAY THAT US??? THE WHOLE 5 MIL EACH??!! VIL CALM DOWN WHAT I SAID WAS A JOKE

- Damn vil is ＳＴＡＣＫＥＤ He really didnt want to owe anyone anything LMAO YES QUEEN

- WHA— KALIM IS ACCEPTING??? OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT THAT KALIM

- Kalim is making my heart go boom boom again baby boi ✨👁💧👄💧👁✨✨

- HE’LL DONATE IT TO THE RAMSHACKLE DORM BABY BOIIII

- …sumimasen kalim for having a very rundown dorm 👁💧👄💧👁 but thank you for being nice about it lol

- OKAY OKAY KALIM YOU DONT HAVE TO LIST ALL THE THINGS WRONG IN MY DORM PLS—

- THIS IS EMBARRASSING PLS KALIM IM SORRY FOR BEING POOR

- But this man be such a sunshine holy shit i cant even be mad about it lol

- AW YEAH RAMSHACKLE DORM IS GONNA GET A MAKEOVER

- EVERYONE BE DONATING THEIR MONEY TO US AAAAA Were they always this NICE

- Aight adeuce pls— y’all dont have to force yourself to donate my guys (´；ω；`) being friends is enough lol i get it my bois

- Find me a man who can make me feel like this the way Vil can

- Man if only Grim is here :’) he’d be soo happy :’)) you can have all the tuna you want buddy :’)))

- GRIM PLS ADEUCE IS WILLING TO TREAT YOU TO LUNCH BABY

- Bro this is so wholesome omg

- Im sorry but still up to this day, my understanding of Epel’s accent is still　ｌａｃｋｉｎｇ lmao

- Aight they be talking about how Rook already knew that they were going to lose from the very beginning

- The FORESHADOWING LOL The difference with how Rook said “What a wonderful performance” rather than “What a beautiful performance” sigh

- Honestly we gotta respect Rook’s resolve here lol man just knows what he wants

- Rook and Vil’s friendship lmao

- 👁👄👁 …!?

- EARTHQUAKE WTF How dare you ruin such moment—

- WHAT IS GOING ON

- EY WTF DONT DESTROY MY DORM WTF ARE YOU GUYS

- WHAT ARE THESE ROBOTS OUTSIDERS KILL THEM WITH FIRE

- They look like something that belongs to the Ignihyde dorm HUH

- Oh bruh— Vil in his Dorm Leader mode is so cool AND YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT wheww~~ Vil YAS QUEEN

- KALIM TOO AAAAAA JAMIL’S 「はっ！」SO COOL

- so SO— the dorm leader’s have a protocol for outsider attacks like this 👁👄👁 OMG THEY’RE SO HOT

- They don’t seem like our bois anymore aaa just pure professionalism at this point—

- GOD I FORGOT HOW COOL THEY ARE OMG

- HEEEYYY OUR DORM IS GETTING DESTROYED WTF ARE THESE GUYS’ PROBLEM

- We were just talking about renovating it too wtf

- AAAAAHHH HOW DARE YOU— VIL R YOU OK

- Bruh i dont know what is going on but dont touch my man’s face

- They’re targetting Vil and Jamil WHY— overblot men!!??? WHERE ARE YOU— GIVE THEM BACK

- I didnt understand what epel said here lmao BUT—!?

- THEY HAVE GRIM TOO FUCK HE’S BACK LET GO OF MY FUCKING CAT

- WHAT IS GOING ON DARLINGS

- BUDDYY >:’0000 Grimmm MY HEART—

- Are they kidnapping the overblot men?? What— the fucking absolute ｂａｌｌｓ on these robots

- God we’re getting absolutely ｆｕｃｋｅｄ in here

- AND THERE’S A CAULDRON IN THE BACKGROUND LOL DEUCE WENT HAM

- BRING ME BACK MY FUCKING CAT— >:’0000

- I thought there’s going to be a festival not a fucking kidnapping event HEY

- Oh 👀 Rook pls help

- AAAHH SERIOUS ROOK IS HOT—

- IS THE OTHER DORM LEADERS CHILLING WHERE ARE THEY KALIM PLS BE SAFE

- OH RIDDLE IS NOT ANSWERING THEY GOT HIM TOO

- Oh ghad they got him during clubs WTF HOW—

- *nervous hornii chuckling* …angry expression silver 👁👄👁 im sorry

- AAAA Dorm leaders actually be acting like dorm leaders is soo cool i cant—

- Bruh the story is all chaos what is this chapter

- Are they gonna get Leona and Azul too what—

- RIDDLE BABY Jesus christ dont overblot like this again lol

- DAMN HE STRONG FOR A SMOL BOI THO

- Whoever made these robots wtf is their deal lol TO BE ABLE TO BEAT A DORM LEADER—

- …Bruh where is our horned friend when u need him

- Silver and Sebek theorizing with dorm leaders but they took Jamil tho?? It’s probably the overblot men they’re after

- Also Malleus is probably good so you two calm down lol Lilia’s probs having tea with him right now

- Okay, Leona how are you going to get captured KING.

- Omg everything is getting destroyed wtf

- AW LEONA SAVED RUGGIE THATS CUTE AND COOL AF

- Bruh leona these are material robots— cant you just turn them into sand lol

- Oh they do have some kind of brand cmon just turn them into sand pls

- WHAT THE FUCK

- LEONA-SAN!? WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP— OJI-TAN!!!

- OLD MAN WHAT—

- *hearing leona whisper his reasons ✋ 👁👄👁 🤚 okay sir im sorry

- Damn Leona acting like a real prince right now— it’s kinda hot 👀👀

- BRUH PLS COME BACK DONT TALK LIKE YOU AINT GONNA

- BRO WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS

- THE BOARD GAME CLUB

- Idia : “bro we just chilling be cool— MY CHESS PIECE“

- “Aight ortho what’s the situation” “ｆｕｃｋｅｄ＂

- So Idia of course knows about this— why does he look like he’s so done lmao me getting the feeling this isnt the first time idia has encountered this situation before lol

- Man i want to see azul in action too but mehh— Idia told him to settle down cries

- LOL WHAT IS THIS KARONE ROBOTS

- Wait— are they taking idia too?? OH IS THIS THE DOING OF IDIA’S FAMILY

- WHERE IS CROWLEY— THE TEACHERS, YOUR IMPORTANT STUDENTS ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED

- AH THEY ALSO KNOW ABOUT THESE STYX BITCHES WHAT— and they’re just letting them GO whaaat

- Sounds to me that this must be idia’s family taking care of the overblotting students?? Like to protect Idia or something?? I DONT—

- “Gather all the dorm leaders” No, sir, they’re already gone besides my sunshine and the horn boi

- Malleus??? 👁👄👁 TSUNOTAROU

- Pls kill the robots they destroyed my place

- AAH UPSIDE DOWN LILIA long time no see lol

- Bruhh the diasomnia students are so lucky to have Malleus as a dorm leader omg

- BRUH LILIA’S RINGTONE IS SO CUTE LMAO

- Kalim sounds so desperate im so sad

- ARE WE— ARE WE GONNA MEET MALLEUS AGAINNN

- Bruh they just goku teleported their way out of the dorm lol

- AAAAHH EVERYONE IS HERE THIS IS SO FUN

- Wait jack is not here lol did they just forget about him wtf

- Oh shit we here too i did not know LMAO

- S-So are we just gonna..continue school like— like these styx bitches didnt just ruin half the school, my dorm, injure my bois, and took my cat or…???

- GASP AAAA STYX IS A BLOT RESEARCH FACILITY WHAAAT

- So that’s why leona and idia be like bro this is not worth it

- O-Oh yeah— they…they didnt know that Vil overblot— PFFT

- Malleus pls information who are you talking about—

- WHO— LILIA MALLEUS OH NO

- Ey, overblot squad are assembled lol this looks so dangerous

- LMAOO Riddle was sleeping on Leona’s lap for three hours THATS SO CUTE

- Where the fck did they take them, ITS CRAMPED AF

- Bro they’re just exposing Vil and Jamil’s overblot that’s supposed to be a SECRET LOL

- Oji-tan can sound so wise and reliable like this if he really tried lol sugar daddy energy

- Wtf these guys never thought that idia was from a big shot family??? They thought it was just coincidence that they had the same family name PFFT

- AZUL AAAA He was right there my guy BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MAN

- oh. They finally opened— isn’t this the ignihyde dorm what

- WHAT THE FU— IDIA

- Bro— WHAT WAS THAT IT WAS IDIA ALL ALONG???

- WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER

This chapter is a fucking roller coaster like— literal 0 to 100 ＱＵＩＣＣ From having a moment with Vil and the bois to a FUCKING TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO IM HYPED FOR NEXT CHAP—

It’s been so long, I hope they released the next part soon (๑>◡<๑) I forgot how fine these men are lol at least I want to hear their voices again 👁👄👁

#twisted wonderland #spoilers #chapter 6

67 notes · View notes

heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh IWA ROUTE

a/n: uwuwuwuwuwu my mans iwa chan :’)

IM A SIMP FOR IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER

uwu filo!iwa in this :)

and also, listen to lauv while reading this since i wrote this and that song was playing on repeat O_O and also this song

this is my self-request uwu

HES SUCH A POUTY BABIE BLS LOVE ON HIM

onwards we goooo

hihihihihihi yey im so excited for this yall dont even know

ANYWAYS

so,,,,

when iwa first saw you, he thought you were just a cute little thing

your shorter height, your puffy cheeks, and the wide eyes you had whenever you saw someone, or him, do a really cool spiking move

he initially thought of you as a cute little sister hes never had

ehehe that finna change

then the,,,, bullying thing happened

if youd like to read this part, its right here

when he saw you bloodied, all battered,

dear lordie he was finna break some ankles

ONG I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT SANGWOO YET HERE I AM

like that image of you will probably stay in his memory until he dies of the ripe age of 200

ngl it kinda traumatized him a little bit of how tired and pained you look with the tears rolling down your face and the blood that was escaping your body through your wounds

god you didnt deserve any of that

you deserved the world and the universe yet some people dared to take away your worth

ooo he was so mad

miyo was,,,, hurt??

can i say that??

i dont wanna,,,, explain bara arms iwa hurting a girl so youre gonna have to imagine that for yourselves

but at the end when they said slap, he didnt just ✨S L A P ✨ her

he ✨ B R O K E S O M E A N K L E S ✨

oiks is actually scared of him after that

like oiks had to peel him off of her and towards the infirmary where you and the team were

‘IWAIZUMI HAJIME, STOP!’

oof the first and last time oikawa tooru ever said that full name

he was breathing heavy and he was so ✨ A N G R Y ✨ with what she did to you yet he hears your soft scoldings, telling him off for hurting a girl

he wanted to see you

like right now

iwa tore himself from oikawa’s grasp and ✨ N Y O O M E D ✨ himself to the nurse’s office

there, you sat on the bed with the others scattered either on other beds or on the floor

you smiled at the sight of him and he walked towards you and engulfed you in his arms

‘youre okay now. im here’

he whispered and you buried your face into his chest, breathing in his unique scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

he refused to leave your side so he ✨ M A D E ✨ some room on the bed beside you to sit and he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close

you held his hand while oikawa talked to you and as you shamefully bowed your head

but you were forgiven and everything was all good until the third years really got into plan

makki and mattsun promised to handle it all as they had family in the justice field while oikawa would go and get the girl suspended

‘but what about me?! i want-’

‘iwaizumi, you literally hit her. it’d be best if you’re not involved right now as you were the only one who physically touched her in a harmful manner like that’

ong when it come to y/n, the meme team is replaced by the assassin team

he tried to fight but in the end, 3 overpowered 1 and he was forced to sit back and opted to comfort you instead

he made sure you were safe to walk home but that day, you were the one who asked him to spend time with him

just you two

like after seeing him seethingly enter back into the room, you reached out and held his hand in yours, eyes trained on your fingers fiddling with his

‘iwa-san,,,, you said you downloaded the new godzilla movie?’

you whispered but he could still hear you and his heart swelled at your meek voice

‘yea, i did. and my mom bought those chips you like’

your eyes flitted up to meet his eyes and a soft smile spread on your lips and there was this thumping in his heart

maybe that was the first time that iwaizumi hajime felt differently towards you

a smile that seemed to be differently perceived than the rest

and it wasnt for the whole team

it was for him

and him alone

the trek to his house was quiet but you would hum nursery rhymes or the songs you heard earlier in the radio while skipping every few steps and tightly holding on to his hand

iwaizumi’s olive eyes watched you still radiate energy despite being so hurt for a long time

they then trailed to your linked hands and he unintentionally squeezed it, only figuring out he did it when you looked up to him and squeezed it back with a smile

he wanted to do something to make you forget of what happened

he didnt want you to think about the cruelty and pain so he was going to make sure you would continue smiling

thankfully, his parents werent home so he wouldnt have to explain why he has a bandage-covered girl with him

iwa led you upstairs to where his room was and your eyes widened when you saw what was inside

tiny action figurines of animes like bakugo from boku no hero academia or a tiny pikachu on his desk

there was a large country flag that you didnt recognize and a few godzilla posters and volleyball players decorating beside it

however, besides those normal things you wouldve expected,

there were many polaroids

polaroid pictures that were everywhere with no specific layout pattern and just placed anywhere that had room

iwa watched as you dazedly walked forward and entered the room to move towards the wall by his desk that had the most pictures against it

from pictures of him and oikawa to the third years to him and his parents or just the sunrise and human silhouettes

your fingers reached forward and traced the picture of him and the third years when they were still first years and took a spontaneous trip to the beach

‘mattsun stole his dad’s car and drove us to the beach without a license’

iwaizumi’s voice answered your questions and you looked back, shimmering eyes

this room,,, wasnt just a normal, teenage boy’s room

this was a room that represented iwaizumi hajime

from his natural character description like his love for volleyball evident in the volleyball player posters to the underneath description that was hidden like his love for godzilla and his love of taking pictures of the people he cares about the most

it was all that made up iwaizumi hajime

your feet took you to stand in front of him, still standing at the doorway, and you stood on your toes to try and be eye-level with him

‘youre really cool, iwa-san’

you whispered and his ears turned red, not from the compliment, but by the close distance between you two

iwa clearedhis throat and ruffled your hair roughly, pushing you down slightly back to the balls of your feet

‘i already knew that, brat. now go and sit over there and be comfortable or whatever while i go get the food’

he hurriedly turned to hide his growing red face but you stopped him

‘iwa-san,,, ano,,, can,, i borrow a hoodie?’

you mumbled, nervously thinking he might refuse

but he grunted a response, not bothering to turn around

‘take your pick’

you smiled and thanked him before bounding over to the wardrobe that was pushed against the wall across his bed that was against the corner by his window

inside had so many hoodies and there were also shirts that were hung up on the other half

they were all graphic tees that either had american bands or anime or game references

opting for a mint green hoodie that says ‘SONIC NYOOM’, you had an undershirt under your button up and as you slipped the bloodied long sleeve off, he swung the door open, eyes focused on the tray of coke filled glasses

then he looked up and almost dropped it at the sight of you,,, like that

‘OH MY GOD SORRY’

he shrieked and carefully but hurriedly backtracked back to the hallway

ofc you were shocked too but you quickly put the hoodie on and went to get him

iwaizumi’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was VERY red with embarrassment

how could he see you like that?!

a girl who wasnt his shouldnt be seen like that by his eyes!

a touch on his arm reminded him of his position and he was still holding the tray but it was clear from the liquid in the cups that he was shaking slightly

‘iwa-san, its okay. i still had a shirt on so dont misunderstand’

you reasoned and he nodded, still not looking at you

the beginning of the movie was quite awkward as you both were sitting next to each other on the floor, backs against his mattress while the laptop played godzilla in front of yall

but it seems it was just him who was feeling this way bc you were intrigued at this weird monster that was squshing building under its foot and you continued munching on the food

iwa stood up and coughed

‘im going to take a shower’

you paused it and stared up at him, a chip halfway in your mouth

‘oh? you want me to wait for you?’

he agressively shook his head

‘no! its okay i watched it already. just,,,, watch it’

at the end, his words came out jumbled in his hurry to go and calm his heart down

you shrugged and unpaused the movie to continue watching

iwa spent his time in the shower, thinking and trying to think of stupid thoughts like the time oikawa almost choked on a peanut when they were in middle school to distract him of thoughts of how adorable you were

ONG HE WAS JUST SHOWERING AND INNOCENTLY DOING SHOWER THINGS

‘no, i said she was like a sister to me. and a sister she’ll remain’

okay ngl even though theyre not related, im worried yall would be like ‘iNcESt’ but bls a lot of people have tried to sibling-zoned people yet realized they liked them in THAT way

as he wrapped himself with a towel, he then realized

oh my god he didnt bring clothes

LMAO NOOOO IWAAAAA

iwa frantically looked around and he saw his mother’s sakura themed robe and he paused, arguing silently with him if he should wear it

well, it was either that or he went back into the room and showed you,,,,,, this

sucking in a sharp breath, he kept the towel around his waist and slipped his arms through the tight arm holes and he awkwardly tried to keep it tied since he was so much bigger than his tiny mom

what is happening

you saw the door opening and excitedly turned to tell him about this one scene when your voice died down in your throat at the sight of him

here was iwaizumi hajime, ultra muscle buff man who gets abs with a simple glance of the gym, wearing an all too-tight pink, cherry blossom print robe that was so tight the tie around it was shaking to keep it together

‘dont’

he whispered and that snapped your remaining surprise to double over in laughter

‘its so cute! iwa-san, youre so cute!’

you shrieked and he growled and hurriedly went to to grab grey sweatpants and a shirt before running straight back to the bathroom

when he finally came back out, his face was still red and he was pouting as he sat next to you back to his seat

he could feel you staring at him while looking constipated as you held your laugh in and the second your eyes met, your giggles fell out

iwa rolled his eyes

‘yes yes let it out’

‘hehe, iwa-san, i didnt know you had that style’

‘it isnt! i didnt want to walk in here practically naked with you in the room!’

he growled and you nodded, still not quite believing it

‘hai hai. just say you like pink, i wont tell’

you waved and iwa felt offended

‘what do you mean ‘hai hai’?! its really not!’

your lips pursed to keep more giggles in and iwa growled again before lunging to grab your sides and tickling you

of course being careful to not touch your wounds

you shrieked at the ticklish feeling and iwa laughed as you made weak attempts to push him off

‘huh? what was that? whatd you say? cant talk anymore, can ya?’

he teased

‘NO!!!! IWA-SAAAAN!!!!!’

you shouted in between your laughter and he finally let up when you squealed out your apologies and promised to never say it again

you breathed air into your lungs and sat back up to recollect yourselves

iwa saw the strands that escaped your bun and they were scattered everywhere looking messy with your flushed cheeks and teary eyes

oh my god you were beautiful

he was so happy that you still kept that smile despite what happened and he was going to fight to keep it there

forever

it was about nearly the end when you finally realized how different iwaizumi’s hair looked

‘oi, iwa-san, your hair is not naturally spiky?’

he continued eating the chips while still watching the movie

‘what would you expect? even shittykawa’s hair is like this. did ya know that he wakes up extra early to curl it into that shitty mess?’

your jaw dropped

‘EEEHHHH???!!!!!!!’

later, you asked him how he does his hair for school and he blindly reached for the gel that was resting on his desk before tossing it to you

‘here’

you looked at it and flickered over to his hair and then you had the greatest realization

‘GODZILLA-SAMA!’

you pointed and he stopped eating, turning to give you a confused look

‘ha?’

you shrieked in an another round of laughter

‘IWA-SAN LIKES GODZILLA-SAMA SO MUCH HE DOES HIS HAIR AFTER HIM!!!!’

you doubled over to the floor, clutching your stomach and iwaizumi’s flustered expression made you laugh harder

he knew you were smart but,,, not this smart

you figured out his secret

the secret he’s hidden since he was practically a toddler

even his best friend, the guy hes known since he was born, never made the connection

yet here you are, figuring it out not even a year of knowing him

was this part of the many reasons he,, felt his heart beat for you?

oikawa was relieved that you had the bright twinkle in your eyes the next time he saw you and you were actively talking to iwaizumi in that early morning practice

‘oh? y/n-chan, is iwa-chan your best friend now?’

he tried not to sound jealous for his own best friend’s closeness to you and he added a teasing smile for extra measure

okay that hurted me a bit

iwaizumi snarled and blasted the volleyball towards his face before he could even yell or shout

‘iwa-san, dont do that’

you chided softly, small hands wrapping around his muscly arm

but iwa patted your head

‘deserving people deserve things to happen to them’

you rolled your eyes but smiled at him

‘hai hai’

the next week, iwa still kept a close eye on you in case someone else decided to mess with you

but you told him that you swear youd tell him if someone did and he trusts you so he backed off a little

one day, he was eating lunch with the other third years in their classroom when you busted through the door, excitedly holding your phone

‘iwa-san! i figured out what country your flag was!’

he was halfway of shoving rice in his mouth when iwa looked at you

‘oh? you couldve just asked me though?’

you pouted and went to pull a chair from another desk to sit beside him

‘nooo. i wanted to work for that information. so you’re from the philippines, iwa-san?’

he nodded proudly

‘yep’

your eyes shone with interest

‘really?! you look japanese so it must be one of your parents. hey, iwa-san, which island are you from? i read about them and they have like 7641 islands-’

the others watched as you read through the article in your phone and iwa wasnt even following your words, instead staring at you with a dazed look and a lovesick smile

mattsun, makki, and oikawa exchanged looks of surprise because in all the years theyve known him especially oikawa, iwa was never interested in girls and such

he was a straight forward man with goals and straight sight to get them done with no distractions like relationships or love

yet here he was

slowly falling in love with you without even knowing he is

he continued to fall with the simplest things about you

from the perfume that you wore everyday to the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear when you were talking to someone

little quirks he used to miss was now being noticed even if you were right behind him and not in his line of vision

now, the boys were starting to see the difference of their precious ace

it was as if when he started to like you, they knew immediately by how he was acting

then one day during practice, you were late and they were all looking around for you and when they couldnt find you, they met back in the gym with nervous looks

iwa was already pacing around, a scary aura radiating off of him, and kindaichi, who went with him to look around the school, warned the others of iwaizumi’s worry

‘he was slamming doors open and he was walking so fast i had to run to even keep up with him’

then you busted through the gym door

you were actually picking up food for the team and sweets and you were held up when makki’s puffs were still being cooked

they rallied around you to make sure you werent hurt and you assured them but iwa pulled them away like picked them up and threw them off to the side and took you in his arms

iwa thought you were hurt and he was so worried something happened to you again

the hug was bone-crushing with how hard he was squeezing you but you felt his worry though and you freed your arms to wrap them around his neck

‘im okay, iwa-san’

you whispered in his ear and he nodded

‘let me hold you for a second’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘oi, theres food in the bags so make sure you eat it all. coach paid for it all so dont leave behind anything’

the mention of the food distracted them from you and iwa and they piled on top of each other to reach their food first

iwa was grateful that you distracted the others from seeing him being vulnerable towards you

‘i thought-’

‘shh,,, you have me right here, right now. safe and sound’

you knew how much seeing you all battered messed him up and his attempt of making you forget about it has been

and his worry of you being gone without no sign of where you went will forever be there and he will always have that thought in the back ofhis mind

the next time you came over, you actually met his parents

since you went home early before, you didnt catch his parents when they came home around 10 minutes after you left

but this time, they were already home with his mom cooking dinner while his father was sitting on the dining chair reading a newspaper

iwa walked through the door, shouting he was home, and you did the same thing to be customary

oof his parents were surprised

his mom turned around to share a look of surprise with her husband

sure they havent seen tooru in a while but they were pretty sure his voice wasnt that high pitched

right?

‘hajime, did you hit tooru so much you ruined his-’

then his mother stopped talking at the sight of you holding iwa’s hand tightly when yall stepped around the corner

you sheepishly smiled at them and bowed your head in greeting

oh my

so this was why iwaizumi hajime-san was really really really handsome

his parents were freaking good looking

like his mother was aphrodite with her flawless melanin skin and doe shaped eyes with a mole under her left eye

and his father was like ares, so handsome yet still manly and his appearance was a special type of good-looking with his buffness and ruffed appearance

‘iwa-san, i didnt know your parents were gods’

you mumbled, still staring at them

iwaizumi choked and coughed, flustered

‘oh my!’

his mother placed a hand over her mouth

‘hello’

his father stood up to walk in front of you and held his hand out

‘i’m hajime’s father’

you let go of hajime’s hand to shake his own with both of your hands

‘really nice to meet you! i’m l/n y/n! seijoh volleyball manager! first year!’

you introduced then stepped aside to fully bow 90 degrees

iwaizumi thought it was so cute of how flustered you were at meeting his parents

‘ay nako! nak, i didnt know you had such a beautiful girlfriend!’

she squealed and hurriedly went to stand in front of you and gently grasped your arms to stand you back straight and took a good look at you

‘youre so beautiful, iha. nice skin, pretty eyes, ang ganda!’

even with your research of tagalog, you didnt quite understand what she was saying

iwa noticed your slightly confused expression and he laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets

‘sorry, my nay speaks in taganese when she gets excited’

‘t-taganese?’

‘tagalog and japanese’

you nodded in understanding

it was time to put your basic reserach to test

‘hello po’

you greeted her and nervously took her hand and pressed the back of it to your forehead before slowly lowering it down and letting go

her wide eyes made you think you did something bad or even offensive!

‘i-i’

‘HAY NAKO, HAJIMEE~!’

she shrieked

‘YUNG-!!! YUNG-!!!’

okay im terrified

iwa noticed his mother’s malfunction and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and veered her back to her kitchen

‘sorry about her, l/n-chan. its just,,,, hajime hasnt brought home a girl before. and you doing that mustve done it in for her’

you worriedly watched hajime calm his mom down with a smile and talking to her hushed

in their perspective,,,

‘shes so nice, nak! marry her, okay? shes very pretty and she made an effort to please your nanay, so go and marry her!’

ohmylord im nervous

initially, iwa only wanted to go and hang out with you and watch a movie

not have a full dinner with his family

lmao i shouldve told you that youve been friends for months now

his mother cooked sinigang and adobo and more filipino dishes, adding even more when she saw you were joining them

the dining table was covered with a large plate full of food and you were so fascinated because this was a side of iwa that you wanted to know more about

‘wow!’

you said, not thinking, at the deep-fried fish that still had its eyeballs intact

iwa genuinely thought you would’ve shyed away from it in disgust but your eyes were glistening with genuine interest

‘iwa-san! youre so lucky you get to eat this stuff!’

you told him, looking over at his direction

while mrs iwaizumi was lading in the soup into the big bowl, mr iwaizumi was sitting at the dining table, watching your interaction and hajime telling you what each food was and your noises of surprise

he watched his son laugh when you said the palabok reminded you of the orange boy hinata

and he also watched his son look at you so lovestruck and exactly like how he looks at his wife

soon, his mother finished and they rounded the table before saying a quick prayer to bless the food and digging in

‘so, what do you want to start with, iha?’

mrs iwaizumi asked and your wide eyes looked around

‘hm, im not sure. whats your favorite iwa-san?’

you looked to your right towards hajime who was busy eating and stopped before pointing his lips towards a direction

‘that one’

‘hah?’

you asked

mrs iwaizumi laughed at her son’s actions

‘sorry, l/n-chan, my son has adapted my traits. he was pointing to this, adobo. do you want some?’

‘yes please’

the smell made your mouth water and you started to tuck in

maybe it was your managerial instincts, but you used your napkin to wipe hajime’s lips and he was also used to this and turned his head to make it easier for you then he went to grab the water jug and re-fill your glass

once it was done, you both silently went back to eating

his parents watched his exchange and it was like watching a married couple taking care of each other

‘so, l/n-chan, you said you were their manager’

mr iwaizumi started and you nodded, wiping your lips

‘yes. i have been for a while now and please, call me y/n’

‘hajime actually told us he had a new manager for his team and tooru told us too. but we didnt know you were a girl. its just so interesting for hajime to bring you home as he has never really had any female friends’

mrs iwaizumi’s comment made you chuckle and iwa’s eyes widened in embarassment

‘nay! of course ive had female friends! ive had friends from all genders!’

he reasoned but you teasingly smiled at him

‘ah, im not really surprised. iwa-san doesnt exactly have the appearance that girls are brave enough to approach’

he sent you a betrayed glance

‘hah?! what’s that supposed to mean?!’

you shrugged, going back to your food

‘im just saying that you always have this intense look in your eyes and youre always frowning. but its cute so its fine. and besides, i dont think theyve seen you laugh since you dont really smile a lot, iwa-san’

‘but you’ve seen me smile!’

‘eung. but its only to me. if they knew the stuff i knew like you being a godzilla fan or your collection of succelents, theyd see you like oikawa-san’

‘HAH?! YOU SEE ME LIKE SHITTYKAWA?!’

mrs iwaizumi held her husband’s hand on the table as they watched you both bicker and tease each other with a smile

hajime has always been on the rougher side of things and he doesnt really have many close friends other than the team and even then, tooru is the only one he can really be himself around

yet here you are, bringing out the boy hajime really is and making him laugh, a sound his parents dont really hear outside the house

and your eyes

god, your eyes held admiration, life,,,, and you might not know this yet,, but love

her eyes trailed her son who teasingly headbutted you and you faking a surprise and doing the same

then you heard his father’s cough which brought you back to where you were and the situation and the people that were there

you felt embarrassment creeping up inside you and you bowed

‘im sorry for acting like that, iwaizumi-san. i-’

‘no, dont apologize, darling. please, dont’

her soft smile made the nerves in you ease and hajime’s father winked at him and he knew exactly what his father was trying to say

after dinner, you volunteered to wash the plates but they veered you away from there and towards the living room

‘oh my god, pops! stop her!’

hajime whined because he knows what his mother was going to do

she was going to show him his baby pictures

you sat on the beige couch and watched as she reached under the coffee table and revealed a few albums that had iwaizumi hajime written on the cover

‘now, y/n-chan, hajime wasnt always this pouty. in fact, he used to always have a smile on his face and laughed at the littlest things! like right here! a leaf fell on him and he-’

stories of his childhood was exchanged throughout the night and you were laughing so hard that tears were falling out of your eyes while hajime wrapped your shoulders with his arm and he would squeeze you tightly whenever you made fun of him

‘oh dear! iwa-san! you-!’

you didnt finished as you continued to laugh and he sighed

‘nay, can we go eat dessert now?’

he asked his mother and she was beginning to feel sorry for him so she smiled and nodded

‘okay. hajime, come help me’

‘iwaizumi-san, i can-’

‘no, y/n-chan. dont you worry your pretty little head about anything and just look through more of these pictures’

hajime followed his mother to their kitchen before she stopped and turned around

his mother’s height was around 5′1 so she had to look up to meet his eyes and her hands were clasped around his biceps

she is definitely beautiful and he cursed at how little he got from his mother other than her skin color

mrs iwaizumi married her husband and immigrated to japan to have a family and your polite action from earlier moved her as she hasnt experienced that in nearly 2 decades

‘nay, shes,,,, just a friend’

he reasoned, a wobbly smile to cover up his want for that title to change

yet mothers def knows best and saw right through it

she gave him a firm look with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips

‘nak, dont lie to yourself. i raised you to never tell a lie and lying to yourself is considered lying to someone. she’s not your KAibigan, shes your kaIBIGan’

now, hajime knew a little bit of tagalog as his mother made sure he was able to at least speak to his relatives back home

so he got a hint of what she was saying yet was confused

then he realized it

his blush creeped up his neck and he chuckled, ducking his head low to avoid his mother’s eyes

‘nak, listen to me. papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. youre still growing and you may be confused right now, but make sure to think wisely and dont live with regrets. nanay doesnt want you to go through it all by yourself since she knows how hard it was. so please, listen to me and pursue her. shes special, hajime. she makes you so, so happy. i see it in your eyes, her eyes, god has fated you together. i feel it’

now if a filipino mother actually tells their son to go after a girl, thats a pretty big thing as its known that mothers are the hardest to convince and are fiercely protective of their sons, especially if its an only son, but mrs iwaizumi literally tells hajime to go court you because she sees how happy you make him and is willing to let hajime go to you

definitely his mother’s words stuck to him and as he walked you home, he was busy thinking that he was quiet and you were worried as he would be talking right now

‘iwa-san? you okay?’

you asked and he blinked, taken back to reality from his daydream

‘hm, yea’

he answered to look at you

hes been pining for months now and he slipped his hand into yours, holding it tightly

uwu if you want to see iwa moments with y/n, read through the seijoh manager series as theres a lot of them in there

he wanted you yet, he knew it would be selfish of him to keep you in the future

he would be a college student while you’re in your 2nd year

would you want to be so far away from him?

could you handle it?

‘yanno, iwa-san, your dad told me something interesting’

you suddenly said, squeezing his hand and kicking rocks while looking up at the night sky

‘what was it? something embarrassing?’

he immediately feared that they told you that story when he was still potty training and he fell straight into the toilet

‘hmm,,, no. he told me that he met your nanay when she was a high school student and he was a in an intern at your lolo’s company’

iwa listened and he had a smile at how you said the tagalog word for grandfather

‘he said she almost ran him over by her bike and she fled but they met again when she visited your lolo. through that, they became friends and then she confessed to him. apparently, he declined because she was younger than him, although just 3 years, and he was leaving for his own country in a few months so he didnt know if she would wait for him’

were,,,, you reading his mind?

iwa knew of his parents story yet with you telling it, it sounded a million times more interesting

‘yet she promised him. thats it, just a promise. that she would remain faithful to him, she would keep herself for him and when she finally graduates, she would go and find him and they could be happy together. he said it was the longest 3 years of his life yet when he saw in the airport, he felt like the wait was worth it. because he gets to hold the embodiment of happiness in his arms for the rest of his life’

you finished and he hummed

‘times have changed, y/n’

‘even you?’

you stopped walking and he naturally stopped too

‘would you wait for me like he did if i promised myself to you? if i promised you that despite the few years of waiting, i would still be yours and remain yours until we’re ready to be together?’

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!

iwa’s heart was drumming in his chest and he wanted so desparately to look at you in the eyes but you were making that impossible as your head was bowed and your eyes were fixed on the concrete you both stood on

‘of course, i would’

your head snapped up and e/c clashed with olive eyes

‘i would wait for you. we may,,, be young right now. and they might think we’re,,, being impulsive. but i dont care. because right now, all that matters, is you and me. we can think about the consequences later, but right now, i just want to kiss you’

he admitted, red ears seen by the moonlight

your body shook

‘do it, no balls’

well,,,, he has the balls

and under the moon, at 8:34 pm, iwaizumi hajime kissed you

OML THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SEIJOH SHORT WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO OIKAWA AND HIS NEIGHBORS ARE LIKE ‘AH SHITE HERE WE GO AGAIN’

it didnt come as a surprise to the team when yall announced your relationship

well,, you both actually didnt tell them outright until like weeks later

what can you say?

you and iwa are very private people and you dont really like to show off in public

even though yall lit rally are stuck to the hip and he does things that he doesnt even think hes doing but he is totally doing

you were only caught by,,, guess who

mrs iwaizumi

it was weeks when she met up with mrs oikawa bc theyre totally best friends and thats why their sons are best friends

she told her of her son’s girlfriend and how sweet you were and how mrs oikawa should be jealous that her son doesnt have a girlfriend like that and the standards for oikawa’s future girlfriend was raised just by that teasing

oikawa literally came into after school practice after a phone call with his mother, fuming

you were talking to kindaichi and yahaba with iwa beside you, arm around your waist totally not obvious guys

and yall just saw an angry oikawa stomping towards yall

‘y/n-chan, iwa-chan, why the hell did my mom just call me and tell me that im not allowed to bring home a girl if she doesnt have h/c with s/c (skin color) and e/c and h/m (height measurement)?’

you shrugged

‘oikawa-san, i’ve never even met your mom before’

but iwa had a hunch

‘ahh,,,, my mom mustve been bragging to your mom. yanno how they are’

oikawa shot him a disbelieving look

‘IWA-CHAN! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT! BUT ITS WORSE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS AFFECTING MY FUTURE ONE!’

he ranted, completely unaware that he just outed your entire relationship to the team

tbh they werent even surprised

like they were all ‘damn now shes taken. but cant say i didnt see that coming’

they took it pretty well too

they know how iwa is and they literally respect this mans and if anything, out of the whole team, he is the best candidate for your boyfriend

dating iwa is totally normal and yall just have increased touches?? like i dont know how to explain like he’s constantly holding your hand or arm around your waist or shoulder etc

literally nothing changed

you still have dinners at his house and iwa also knows your family and all that

and the most important thing is,

he kept that promise

even when he was literally at the other side of the world,

he still remained yours and you kept your own promise and waited patiently for his return

OOOOO TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER

a little girl with bouncing dark brown hair was giggling as she maneuvered herself around the tall people

a shout from her parents and little sister was only making her run faster until she crashed into the legs of the person she’s been looking for

his blue jersey was similar to hers and she raised her arms up with a bright smile

‘uncle!’

she yelled and he chuckled before hoisting her up to his arms

‘ah, reyna-chan, didnt mom and dad tell you to wait for them? look! tala-chan is crying because you left her’

she followed his finger to her little sister, who was in her father’s arms, crying and reaching out for her

‘nee-chan!’

she screeched

finally, her parents were there and you were scolding her for running off

‘reyna, just dont do that again’

you said and she nodded, pouting and holding her uncle’s thumb

‘thank you, tooru-san. i dont know what i would do if she got lost’

oikawa grinned then gently patted the hat-covered head of the newborn baby girl that was strapped to your chest

‘hehe, its okay, y/n-chan. after all! uncle is always there to save reyna-chan!’

she shrieked when he held her up and hajime shook his head in his antics

‘where’s the others? i saw them in the stands but-’

he was cut off when he heard the shouts and yells from the other side that could only belong to your boys

‘woooo!!!!’

kindaichi’s voice echoed through the place and mattsuhana were rushing to greet their goddaughters

tala shyly accepted the arms of mattsun while makki was squealing quietly when darna was holding his finger tightly as she slept

‘taka-san, wanna hold her? she’s easier to hold when she’s sleeping’

‘oh can i?’

his eyes held the stars as the 11-month-old raised her fist then lowered it back down, sleep still heavy on her

‘waaa~ darna-chan is growing really quickly’

kunimi whispered, peering over his senpai to look at the baby whos eyes kept fluttering

you chuckled while looking at oikawa and him playfully bouncing reyna

‘tooru-san, congratulations on your win. it seems you’ve beaten hajime this time’

you complimented and the brunette smiled brightly at you, adjusting the little girls in his arms

‘ei, y/n-chan, i’ll beat him next time, and next time and the next time!’

every time he said ‘next’ he gave his goddaughter a kiss on her cheek making her giggle

your husband was pouting at the reminder of japan’s loss and you reached over to wrap your arms around him causing hajime to turn his head away from you

‘aww, my 4th baby is sad now’

you cooed and cupped his face delicately on your hands making him sulk and whine

the others, watching the scene, continue to be surprised at this side of their captain that remains to only be caused by you

‘ugh, nearly a decade later and theyre still sappy’

yahaba gagged and watari slapped his back

‘let them be happy’

‘come on! im in the mood for spaghetti! you like spaghetti, tala-chan?’

‘eung!’

mattsun cheered with kindaichi and she raised her hands to share the same energy

once everyone was situated in a restaurant and ordered, small talks were shared around the table of the past

‘haha, spaghetti is how your baba found out about you, tala-chan’

yahaba’s comment made the walking group laugh at the memory of seeing the video you sent in the seijoh group chat

‘i wanted to be creative with my second child since my firstborn was revealed by this loudmouth’

oikawa winced at the indirect diss at him

‘y/n-chan! i was really excited to find out i was going to be an uncle!’

‘youre already an uncle, bakakawa!’

hajime has toned down the insults to keep it pg for the children

‘but-!’

they started to argue, the oldest daughter looking disinterested as she sees this happening or hearing it whenever her dad and uncle video chat

‘it took me forever to find a ‘prego’ pasta sauce in the grocery store like i dont know why. was there a shortage?’

you complained, remembering the frustration

your fellow first years snickered at you and kindaichi prodded fun at you

‘is that why you just outright told him you were pregnant the day you found out?’

you rolled your eyes and watched makki and mattsun and tala watch the youngest as she wiggled her fists in the air and was awake enough to babble ‘makki’ over and over again

that was her first word and although she is now able to say a few words, she still repeats her first word over and over again

‘we had a fight and it just came out so of course i didnt have time to prepare!’

you defended and hajime finished his antics with oikawa just as you said that

‘what-what was your words again? ‘i really want to push you off the roof right now but i want my baby to meet their bastard father first?’‘

you gasped at that regretful statement and punched him in the arm

‘hajime! stop!’

you whined and covered your face with the sleeves of your his hoodie

‘hehe, y/n, you should do that again’

kyotani teased and you glared at him

‘shut up kyotani’

eyebrows were raised

‘eh? are you more hormonal?’

‘do you realize you already have 3 daughters?’

‘iwaizumi-san really wants to have a volleyball team family’

‘at least wait a year and a half, you animals’

‘so,, like hes that good huh?’

hajime growled and leaned over to intimidate but you snarled and jumped on your feet, being held back by the arms by kindaichi and hajime to stop yourself from leaping across the table to kill yahaba

‘keep talking like shite and i’ll make sure none of you become the godfather of this baby’

okay what

one, did you just curse

and two, this baby?!

‘im big sister again?!’

reyna ruined the surprised silence and then chaos ensued

‘WHAT!’

‘BABY?!’

‘THIS BABY?!’

you just realized what you said and smirked at the chaos you created and sat back down, leaning on the back of the chair and smugly taking a sip of your water

‘oh the power i hold in my hands’

you teased and oikawa pointed at you

‘when! how long!’

you looked at hajime who was so shocked that his eyes glazed over and a passerby wouldve thought he was dead

‘apparently 3 months’

oikawa started counting and his eyes widened at that thought

‘you-! you stayed in argentina! in my house! my house-!’

‘yep. both of them created under your house’

what

!!!!!

hajime fainted

oikawa screamed

a/n: okay i admit i got a little too carried away with this one. i just love filo!iwa and this was mostly written in his pov bc cmon we all know we love iwa and fell in love w him the moment we saw him

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