Expectations vs Reality

ok - so I need to just put this out there. Me making a Rolan will not happen fast. My life is kinda insane. I work full-time, I have MS (and other crap/MH stuff), hubs has Parkinson's, kiddo 1 (24) moved back home, kiddo 2 (21) doesn't live at home but has FASD and can be a lot, kiddo 3 (10) is just a plain active kiddo. Plus I have a pets. Our basement flooded - only and inch or two, but it was everywhere and won't be done anytime soon due to finding water seeping from one of the walls. Oh, and my mom got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

I could actually go on about my hot mess of a life, but I just want to put this out there to temper expectations. I'm super stoked about making Rolan, like crazy stoked. But - if I want to do it right, and take notes to possibly share the pattern if I manage it, then it's going to be months of work, probably. Maybe. Depends on energy, time, and funds. FUN! Most of my yarn was in my basement, so I'll have to pick up what I need as I go. For now, I have his body yarn (that sounds so weird).

I promise to post pictures of the progress. I'm very transparent - if I fuck it up, or life goes to shit, I'll say so. It may only be one or two folks interested, but that's enough for me! Is this my anxiety talking, absolutely. But I'm 50 and have few fucks left to give.

What I've done [Ticci Toby]

He is my gender envy

ok so hear me out. what about father!masky hearing that Toby is dating daughter!reader.

A teensy bit of NSFW would be fine, like hearing that Toby stole his precious daughter's V-card. (+ and how Toby ended up taking it but that's just a + if you're feeling generous.)

(MASKY AND READERS RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC AND FAMILY-LIKE!!!!)

Father!Masky reacting to child!readers partner being Toby!

Was really debating on whether or not I wanted to answer this since personally I'm a little iffy on writing romantic stuff with toby but I think. Since its not the center piece (?) Of this request I'll let it slide this time

With that said I will say, I'm not sure if my take on the masky/toby dynamic is accurate to most peoples takes since I havent really. Seen much current fan stuff, havent really interacted with the fandom outside of fanart n stuff since 2015 so UHUH!!

Quick warning first portion of this is the admin rambling about their hcs about masky and toby before getting into the actual reader portion; they havent had the chance to talk about their creepypasta hcs in a LONG time 😭😭

Not touching the virginity thing, though sorry anon

Okay the authors note was getting too long but more on how I view the toby and masky dynamic given how I write both characters in my hc/au!

Toby does still try to piss off masky, i think. Since hes just generally an ass and there isnt much else for him to do..

You see I'm still trying to figure out how I wanna write masky and hoodie, since I do wish to honor their roots from MH and mesh together the source with the creepypasta fandoms take.. still trying to hit a balance.. might save that for another post, though! But I do wish to incorporate tim and brian into this as their own thing in my hc I'm just not sure how... anyways summary of what I was gonna say, before I deleted it; masky and hoodie arent around 100% of the time, only really when they're needed or called for. Hoodie is around more, though

Toby, on the other hand is around as a proxy 100% of the time considering. You know he krilled his shitty dad and set his neighborhood on fire

Basically there aren't many opportunities for these two to interact but when he does toby is probably shoving masky, probably trying to snag his mask, ect ect basically doing anything to find a way to entertain and stimulate himself, and that just so happens to include fucking with his fellow proxies

Masky, at least in my writing, is fairly stoic... or at least he keeps his emotions hard to read and every now and then he can be a little unpredictable. Call it a byproduct of being mentally worn down by slenderman in order to work with him, or something

Holds little to no reaction to Toby's antics, actually the only time theres anything dished back to him is when he tries to make a grab for the mask

VERY protective of his mask

Okay moving onto the actual request; regardless of how you end up being his kid.. whether it be found family or biologically.. he would try to be the very best dad he can be.. bonus points if you're a proxy as well, I think you two would train together

Call it a family business/j

I could joke about masky krilling for you, but.... considering that these are creepypasta characters... I dont think it would be a joke

Only saves that for if someone physically harms you though

Dating wise I dont think he would care..

Until he finds out who

Really?

That asshole?

When you tell him it's very hard to decipher his reaction.. hes just

Still

And the mask isnt helping at all

Watches toby like a hawk. Like if this were genuinely any other person I think masky would do some basic sleuthing to see what kind of person your partner is before backing off... but given that he has a personal history of toby being a nuisance, he's more on the fence

Now do I think he would forbid you from seeing him?

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. I mean yeah sure, toby makes his job harder.. but has he really done anything that warrants that? Does he even have the right, even as your father?

You know that meme from monsters uni. Where sully is glaring down at mike while they're walking

That's basically masky and toby after he finds out

Not many thoughts here, I think

I've seen a lot of fashion doll posting on your twitter and like, I don't exactly know how to ask but if you ever want to infodump about it on here that would be so genuinely interesting

Not pressuring you in any way of course! I just like seeing your fashion doll posting

rubs my hands together maliciously

Ok so I don't actually have anything I feel like talking about doll wise atm, I prefer making one off posts here n there about the dolls I'm into on twt more than tumblr cause I feel like twt is better suited for one off thoughts while tumblr is better suited for dedicated n thought out posts, at least with how I use it. Which is why you see a lot more wips/shitposts from me on twt than tumblr. so instead I'll just show yall my current collection!!! ANYWAY long ass post time

I've been working on finding and filling out various release lines from different doll brands im fixated on and have been rearranging my collection set up a lot cause of it lol. My shit is scattered all around my room because of how me and my little brother have divided up space for us to display both of our separate collections of things (we are both autistic and insane about our special interests) so there's gonna be a lot of photos lol

TO BEGIN: here's my display case of all my old g1 Monster High dolls I managed to hold onto since I was a kid! I got all of these back when MH initially debuted (when I was around 8 or 9) and all of these dolls have survived through my childhood/teenage years, hence why they're not in super great shape unfortunately lol

the only exceptions to this being the Día de Muertos Howliday Skelita, since obvs that's a recent release, as well as the misc. dolls I have scattered around the top of the case, those are dolls that s0uless has gifted to me over the past 2 years teehee

Moving on, to my current collection of dolls I began purchasing for myself over the past year: starting with this set of shelves next to my bed! I'm mainly using this as my Bratz shelf, but I ran out of room to fit my Skultimate Secrets Fearidescent Dolls where I usually keep my Monster High dolls, so they're there for now.

I only have Jade's reproduction doll because when the Bratz reproductions first began releasing, I was being strict with myself about not indulging in dolls again so I only let myself get Jade since shes my fav. Which I'm sad about, cause I'd love to have all the girls together for both their 20th anniversary reproduction dolls and their Alwayz dolls together. Also, there's a spot left empty next to my Alwayz Cloe bc I have Not been able to find Alwayz Sasha in stores like ANYWHERE for the past 2 months, so I gave up and ordered her online. She'll be arriving here in a couple days!!

Next up is this series of shelves above my dresser that I mainly use to display misc. figures n other shit I've come to own since I was like 12 (you can tell bc of the MHA stuff lmao) but I recently cleared some space so I could fit my Skultimate Secrets Series 1 Dolls (and Spa Day Lagoona + Scare-adise Frankie and Draculaura) somewhere, as well as having a place to display my current set of LOL OMG dolls! And also Bank art doll cameo lmao

Then we have the top shelf of my desk, which mostly has various Knicks knacks compacted into a corner but I put my two LOL OMG Tweens together there, as well as my single Licca doll that s0uless got me for this past christmas and the custom doll they made of my sona for me! <3

(fun fact me and s0uless are currently in the process of making more custom dolls of Eb, Bank, and the triplets but you'll have to wait n see on that one hehe)

And finally for dolls, here's my desk setup, where I display my main Monster High dolls! I mostly just display each Signature Doll + Their Core Refreshes here, but Monsterball Draculaura didn't have space anywhere else so she gets to chill there too lmao

Thats it for my actual dolls, but I have two other photos to share, which is just how I set up my Skultimate Secrets Series 1 Lockers + where I put the posters that come with each Bratz doll I have lmao

ok thats all I'm done now, ill update this when Sasha gets here lmao

Have you stopped writing your metal head konig? Also obsessed with the playlist you made and loved merrily we fall out of line, it was so cute 🥹

Hope the universe is being kind to you 🖤

hey! thank you so much, glad to hear from you and glad that you enjoy the playlist <3

i haven't stopped writing for mh!k, no! i gotta say though that i'm in bit of a writing slump, i'm still working on getting my degree and there's a bit going on in my life, so i don't have that much energy right now to write a lot, so it's taking a lot longer to finish new chapters. i hope you understand <3 (i will try and post smth until next week)

small fics and drabbles like merrily we fall out of line work as a bit of palate cleanser. i also made a list with all the different ideas i had in the last few weeks, but i'm hesitant to share them because i cannot promise that i will ever find the time and energy to write them out xD

to end on a positive note: thanks for always returning to read my stuff, i see returning peeps in the likes, even if you never commented or anything, and those readers keep me going <3 i appreciate you

Hey guys! Uh I felt like I should say something about the fandom

// mentions of self harm, suicidal ideation

This is gonna be long, sorry!

Heyyyy, sorry I've been so uhhh hardly active online...I've been trying to come back to posting online and stuff just idk it's been a pretty rough several months and every time I think my motivation is back enough it disappears. I'm currently tryna work things out in therapy as a result of how bad certain things have gotten in the last few months, I'm not gonna say what it was but based on my writing with a lot of focus on self harm and suicidal ideation, you can probably guess.

At this point I think I'm about to just not even bother logging into twitter anymore and pretty much use this and ao3 and pinterest and stuff (maybe occasionally instagram idk tho that place kinda sucks). It would probably help me be more active on here tbh since yall seem not really do a lot of the things that make my mh worst XD

Alright, anyway I'm currently editing a few different fics I've been working on for a while, several of them decided to be in the 50-100 page on google docs range whether I liked it or not, so that and my current disasterous working situation is why it's taking a ridiculous amount of time. If I had a functional posting schedule, ig I wouldn't be an ao3 user. I was gonna include a statement in one of them about this, but I decided this needed to be said here first

So I don't think I plan on leaving the dsmp fandom no matter what happens at this point. The average length of interest in a fandom is like what 10 years? Idk I heard that from some yt. If so, I'm approaching the halfway mark with the dsmp, which is insane to think about, and I don't plan on jumping off that train any time soon. The stories were intriguing and the cc's and their characters and music and stuff have gotten me through the lowest points of my life, so it's very hard to forget that.

Even if the cc's turn out to not be great, I still have their characters, and I'm not willing to give up this coping mechanism just yet because I feel like not having one when everything else in my life seems to be going to shit wouldn't be that great

I see it like if you liked a character in a movie and the actor that played them turned out to be bad, would you still like the character? I would.

cc!Wilbur turned out to be a shitty person. His song about being a wanker and a fucking waste of time was in fact spot on. Fuck that guy. I'm done with his stuff but I'm still gonna write his character

There are a lot of things erupting on twitter right now, I'm not sure what's going on and I do Not have the mental fortitude to find out at this point. I can't say I believe everything because after the Dream situation last fall...I'm just holding off my judgement for now. I'll probably go looking once the dust starts to settle but right now it's all a huge mess and everything is up in the air

I can't guarantee anything at this point, but I will most likely continue to write c! stagedduo and most likely draw and crochet them. I do not have another coping mechanism and the brainrot over the story of the dsmp will likely not go away

Uhhh really sorry I keep falling off the face of the earth, but I think I'm back now. I don't know what the future holds, but this is probably gonna become about the only social media i use now and I think i might just make an alt account or something for my other art so i can stop posting on instagram all together hopefully. Everytime i open that app it makes me more sad and then I never get around to opening this

Due to the severity of what I mentioned earlier, I'm just going to say that I'm not feeling like *that* right now, I feel like I'm actually very gradually starting to get out of the not great mental state I've been in for basically since high school, but I'm not gonna let twitter and the potential of social media harassment fuck that up, so from now on y'all are gonna be like 90% of my social media interactions most likely and I'm not gonna let whatever the hell twitter does in the next few weeks take my favorite characters from me.

I love c!Dream and c!Punz. Their dynamic is excellent be it drunz or stageduo. I'm gonna keep writing them.

They look like the cc's but they still very much exist separately of them (irl Dream isn't getting tortured by irl Quackity and Sam or anything lol).

So whatever ends up happening, imma be here most likely. So for those of you who'd like to join me, hey! For those of you who can't take it anymore, I understand.

Oh and for those of you who've been drawing/writing/whatever any cc's who are currently accused or exposed or anything, I encourage you not to delete or destroy your work, you worked hard on it! If you don't wanna look at it rn, put it away for now. If it's character based especially! Don't let the actions of others or the vitriol of twitter take away your favorite characters!

First Lines

Rules:  Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to and see if there are any patterns!

Tagged by @whimsyswastry, with my many thanks! 🦄 (I'm making up the colour because A E S T H E T I C, sorry, use green and red and blue if you want something more telling)

Tagging: @shivunin @deerna @oxygenforthewicked @rowanisawriter @zenstrike @melisusthewee @rosella-writes and whomever wants to do it! (Ali I'm leaving you out because you may not want to spend so much time translating, but of course send a word and you'll be added asap)

Complete | Work in Progress | Unposted

Home Was Never On the Ground Dragon Age Inquisition | Cullavellan | 232.000

The Hinterlands are burning up, as the hostilities between Mages and Templars went from a weak attempt at diplomacy, to taunting the others, to open acts of guerrilla and nocturnal sabotages to the other party, to a full on armed conflict that devastated the countryside in its wake.

She of Many Names Dragon Age Inquisition - Lord of the Rings | Cullavellan | 20.910

It was foretold that it had to come to this.

One For the Road Dragon Age | Fenris x Lavellan (does this ship have a name help) | 11.952

The Arlathven wasn’t busy, this year.

The Night Before First Day Dragon Age Inquisition | 1.107

Twas the night before First day, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even the hound; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that the Dreadwolf soon would be there.

Unnamed DadWolf AU Dragon Age | I'm not naming a ship you name the ship | - (yes I am writing it.)

It was way past her bedtime.

Unnamed DAO stuff I don't know if I'll ever post. Dragon Age Origins | Mahariel x Alistair x Morrigan | 4.649 for now

The timing was perfect.

Considerations: Monster fic gets a monster first sentence, so you'll all know what to expect, LOL. But look how many short, synthetic sentences we have! Also apparently I'm not that fond of starting with dialogue, which I kinda like. Mh. But you know what, for my mental health it's better if I don't try to self-analyse my style much, I'll stop writing again otherwise. And yes I got an hyperfixation, what can I say. It got me some new friends in a not so nice period, so it's very welcomed.

So, here we are, the end of the road season two. Mostly just for my own benefit, I thought I'd put my initial thoughts under a cut.

The good

Overall, I think S2 is way better than S1. It's a more confident, polished show that understands its own tone.

S2 is so much funnier than S1.

I seriously did not expect them to dig that deep with Ed and Stede's characterisation, especially the MH issues. It's impressive how they balanced very believable, heart wrenching depictions of trauma with laugh out loud jokes.

The Ed/Stede of it all was really well done. The chemistry is still off the charts, the ups and downs are classic romcom, the failures to communicate never feel contrived.

The settings and costumes and music are all so good/better than S1, imo.

Captain Frenchie!!!

The not so good

I think people have tried to blame too much stuff on the reduction in episode count but I think it's fair to say the pacing suffered, especially from episode six onward.

I found the Olu/Zheng storyline pointless and unbelievable. I think they could have given Zheng beef with Stede and the Revenge crew without it, and it's baffling to me that they threw away Olu and Jim's character development in S1 for it. Olu felt dumbed down and uninteresting by comparison to S1, which is a shame.

I think they really struggled to know what to do with Lucius, AKA previously one of the funniest characters who is now traumatised and not so funny. When there was humour it largely made light of Lucius' trauma which feels off for a show that otherwise takes trauma seriously.

I do not get Izzy's character arc and feel like a lot of that was cut for time. It felt like they really wanted him to fill the funny confidante void left by Lucius. There were just too many leaps in his development and growth for me to buy how drastic a transformation he underwent. And now, post-finale, I do and don't get his death. His dying words were heartfelt but hackneyed.

Not enough close up shots of faces during kisses and emotional scenes, which would be fine if they'd lit the damn show, but they didn't, so I often couldn't see a thing.

Overall, the biggest issue seemed to be that they speed ran the remaining plot, presumably out of a desire to ensure people got a satisfying-ish resolution if they don't get renewed. That's a kind ambition but I fear it hasn't worked.

That feels like a lot of negatives but honestly, I don't really see them that way because they got the important stuff right, AKA Ed and Stede's relationship. I've constantly been surprised by where S2 has gone and I'm so impressed by the quality overall. Here's hoping for S3.

After reading ‘Dad!Evan/tim whose child ends up meeting HABIT/masky’ i kinda want some hc of them being dads, what types of dad they will be? Like you can’t tell that they wouldn’t do the most goofiest things to see their child smile/laugh especially EVAN(😭) and be like ‘I might be heavily traumatized but i will always have time for my child’ and be the type to read their child a bedtime story. I’m going to stop talking so I can sent this request in because I can literally talk about them being dads like I’m having absolute brain rot them😭

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: Mentions of HABIT and the events of MH. A twinge of angst here and there. 

Author’s Snip: Some how these two feel the most like dad material and their the most traumatized, and one of their traumas comes from getting their dad card revoked in the worst way 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Tim

I can just sense that Tim would be a pretty big shut in after everything, not really having anyone become too close to him out of fear of having everything that happened with Marble Hornets happen again

I said this in the original post that once you are left with him, he thinks about giving you up, and that's because he's scared of having that happen to you. But something in him just isn't strong enough to do that

He would worry about if he's passed what he's got onto you or if you're starting to catch it too but at some point he comes to the head of "If they don't that's great. If they do, that's fine I can help them."

Though he'd rather have it that you don't get operator

He takes up a decent job that lets him work from home so that he can both support and care for you, it also lets him feed into him having become a shut in but that's not the point.

He sets up an extra thing in the bank to have money if you ever want to go to college or even have some money for when you're all grown and want to be doing grown up stuff

He's actually really nurturing as a dad, but in his own way and somewhat doting

I mean, you are the only person who knows him so closely and the only thing that really gives him a spot in normalcy and reality

Obviously you have a very humble and simple up bringing. You have what you need and maybe just a tad bit more

I'm sure that Tim would have actually high tailed it out of any places with forests in the case that that's what the Operator can liv e in, but even then he's probably still a bit hesitant to leave you alone or have you go places by yourself (even when you're older)

It's not in a full on helicopter parent way but still, he's paranoid about things happening to you

This is a bit of a given but Tim would die for you and would make sure that you had a happy life and good upbringing

He didn't have too sunny of a childhood and upbringing, with being in a mental/psychiatric hospital for most of his younger life, so he wants to make sure that you have a good upbringing

He'll always support you and be proud of all your achievements, big and small

Though he will be sad when you start actually being independent because now his baby's all grown and will end up doing their own things, but he's happy since he helped you get there

I feel like with Tim and all that he's been through, he'll just be happy that he managed to get past it, it in a way, for at least you

Evan

This bitch oh my fucking god this man

Okay listen, he's so traumatized, like so fucking traumatized from just everything that has happened

But I know that this man throws that out of the window as soon as he has the opportunity or chance to just raise and have a kid. If he knew that you would be okay the entire time then he's just gonna dad it the hell up

He's so excited to be a dad

But he's still scared

He actually tries to read guides on how to raise a kid just to make sure he does it right, but he mostly just takes the books key points and all that and just does it his way

Evan will always praise you and be proud whenever you do something

He also plays along in a lot of what you do

To say that he's gonna be your first best friend is an understatement

He's still going to discipline you when you things you aren't supposed to and be an actual authority figure

But just because he has to be an authority figure doesn't mean he can't have fun with you and be in on all your shenanigans

Evan will always be scared of Habit getting to you

As much as he'd like to, he can never forget all that Habit has done before to his loved ones

Some nights when you're already asleep he'll be up on the verge of a panic attack because he thought hoe Habit could just pop up and ruin everything

But I think at some point he just gets to a point where he just... stops

He doesn't know when Habit will come or what he might do, but he comes to the realization and thought that he tried. Evan tried his best to raise you and give you all that he could

He had so much fun raising you and he wouldn't trade however much time he may have had with you for the anything

Dear mutual @mashmouths taggie me for the game of 'Post the ten first songs on your 'On repeat' playlist on Spotify' or SMTH like that.

As I do not have a Spotify, idk what all that means, but I decided to eyeball it from what the randomiser of my phone seems to give ten times a day, from me local files.

It is a hard work of statistic 100% accurate nothing could go wrong (lie, girlie behind me in the train loudly licking chips crumbs off her fingers and chewing. noise unbearable. thought jumbled over it. the statistics have been messed up). Basically, just clicking 'next song' til I get one that makes me go oh yeh she plays all the time'. What's on my Bandcamp isn't on my local files so unfortsh we lose a whole lot of potential songs there. It's life.

1. Boris Farewell, honestly she's so good portable. I can vibe on my better audio equipment, I can vibe in the metro, in a crowd, she'll always be an enjoyable one no matter the sounds around me.

2. doechii Stressed, well damn so true. I must be stressed too.

3.Nature LIMBO, LIMBO LIMBO LIIIIIIIIIM BO LIMBO LIMBO LIIM

4. Moses Sumney Gargarin, it's hilarious how I'll hear this song ten billion times a week from shuffle, go 'oh what's that song it's nice- oh right of course' somehow there's a spell on it that makes me forget the name. but not that I like it.

5. Britney Spears Outrageous, it's not even my fave of its album yet my phone is OBSESSED with her. Outrageous. When I move my body OUTRAGEOUS when I'm at a party OUTRAGEOUS in my sexy jeans

6. THORNAPPLE As Above So Below, had a phase in my life where I looped that song for hours and then days nothing else, my shuffle never recovered I think.

7. vvv Oh dirty Leeds, I swear it's been months since I Voluntarily of my own clicked the song, she's part of the landscape of my shuffle.

8. ShinEE The Feeling, if I hit shuffle I am sure to hear it at a point or another. It's like the home screen at this point.

9. shygirl BAWDY, it's criminal how you will never witness the gay AMV that happen in my head when this song plays (10 times a day).

10. FLO Losing you, often in immediate succession with the previous one. Keep them on their toes....

++++bonus

for some reason my phone constantly plays christi interlude, but not any other song from the album... hey there sweetieeee I was just taking a look at your cHArt and OoOøh myYyi GOODNESS (goodness) You Are. experiencing THE most powerful transit right now. we have the FUOUL MOÖN. Today! At 24 degreeeeees of CAPricorn. we have PLUTO. the MAIN! planet of transfhow delightful ☺️ you were born on a Nyew Myoon :] that gives you such an OPTImistic EnErgy. you believe Anything can Happen. the woooorld is you Oyster :] the Symbol! of the New Moon... is the SEED star seed (star seed) SCA(???neverunderstoodthatword) thru the galactic Center to Evolve Humanity.

btw last time it played it, it immediately played Rina's Take me as I am and honestly the transition was so seamless to me. granted the child screaming in the BG of the train I was in did help blending stuff together but.

didn't put any song of The Kpopman's group BC it'd have been passé. cliché. frenchwordé. you can assume that yes, it throws some at me at regular intervals. Respect my privacy. (I think if I had to identify one that I'm fed the most it'd have to be Venom, every shuffle she'll be here)

Also I got songs from the game tho and aside from. the. mh. miss answers. which I respectfully skip whenever out cuz it's for in private. I have to ask my phone; what's with amdapor. carrying the dungeon ost pack...

-----

The total here is somewhat cohesive but also doesn't feel complete, alas it's all one can do with 10 songs...

Tagging; ppl who don't have a Spotify only.

And now I'm having to stop after just one episode because I need to scream about things. More flails for @kedreeva

I think part of the reason I'm reacting so strongly to Stranger Things is that it's one of the first totally new to me things I've watched in a long time. Everything else has been adaptations, or new stories in the same series, stuff like that. But this has made me write. I haven't done that for ages. The words have refused to cooperate. But now I'm posting for the first time in forever, and it may not be perfect or consistent, but I don't care (which may be a first).

Anyway, my reactions to episode 5...

First things first, Hopper may be angry and focused on finding Will, but part of him is really enjoying sneaking into the lab.

Definitely got these vibes at the beginning of the episode. Because he has a Purpose again. Getting the feeling that he was doing well in the city police but when Sarah died he understandably fell apart. So he was given the relatively high ranking post of Chief for a small town, where he wasn't going to have to deal with much beyond petty theft and drunk and disorderly. And I bet he resented the implication that he was being pitied. Which would not have helped the drinking and other self destructive behaviours.

I am having a lot of Hopper feels. And Callaghan needs a slap. Many slaps. And Powell gets one for implying that MH problems are contagious.

Everyone knows a Lonnie. Smooth talking pricks who gaslight you, accuse you of being overemotional and irrational, claiming they just want to help. Arseholes, all of them.

Mr Clarke rocks once again. He is seriously the best. And Dustin gets his chance to shine this episode, he's mostly been comic relief so far, but we get to see just how smart he can be.

Poor poor El. Lucas has every right to be really angry with her, but she is dealing with so much trauma they have no way of comprehending, and she can't communicate it. She wants to help them, but she also wants to keep the first people to be nice to her safe, and you know, not go anywhere near the terrifying monster that she knows about.

Steve is being unfairly cute again. Turning up, accepting that his behaviour was out of line and apologising, asking after Barb, offering Nancy a few hours to pretend things are normal again, with a movie he knows she'll like... and then accepting her reasons for saying no? He's trying to be a better person for her and it's adorable. (And the singing to make her smile)

If I was searching for a monster in a forest after sunset (which would never happen because dark forests scare the hell out of me), and I found a clue, I would make more effort to find my searching partner before crawling into an icky tree hollow. Even if I'd had a fight with him. (And they both make valid points in said fight. Still two judgy, judgy teens though.) Nancy has not worked out she's in a horror story yet. Although the awful face splitting monster should be a fairly big clue now.

The moment where Hopper finally gives Joyce that validation, that she's RIGHT, that things are bad but she was right that that wasn't her son in the morgue, and some really weird shit is happening. So many emotions. All the emotions.

No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. These characters are so real, so believable. And I think things are about to get Bad. 'Goes to watch episode 6'

hi love, hope you're doing well, I know a lot of people say this BC it's true but your posts and advice and wisdom etc etc is just sooo lovely to read honestly. so I saw you used to be a TA but quit cos it was like too much for your mh and stuff I'm in the exact same position rn and I just wondered if u have any like info/advice anything really like... obv dw about me taking whatever u say as too final but like, is it a silly job role to have when ur someone who really finds life so draining so easily and struggles w mental health often? like even tho working w kids is lush in general. cos Im on a break rn w an agency and then planning on going part time at some point but even then that seems scary af.

hiii sorry for the late response to this - i hope you still see it. i wanted to say i totally understand being overwhelmed in this way. working with kids can be wonderful but it is also absolutely draining and when you're already emotionally drained just in general- it gets to be a lot. i was at a breaking point with it, too. just the constant pressure of it. needing to take a step back is absolutely fine. last time i worked childcare, i was (i guess i still am lol) incredibly depressed, and with the insane hours i was working (it was a nursery that stayed open late LOL) and the high-stress esp for low pay (apprenticeship wages 🙄) it just wasn't sustainable. something had to give at that moment for me to feel like staying alive was even possible, and it's alright to admit that. i think when i quit, i even told my boss something along the lines of "im not giving the children the presence of mind they deserve because im in a really bad place right now', and it kind of helped me to frame it that way. that by doing what was right for me, i would also be doing what was right for the kids, even if it was painful and bittersweet and made me feel like a failure.

i guess i also want to say that just because you're feeling this way right now, like you need to pull the brakes on your job a little bit, doesn't mean you always will. and two (or more) things can absolutely be true at once - you can be great at what you do, have a genuine love for it, want to return to it in the future, and still be completely fucking exhausted by it all. i think doing what you can to reach out in terms of your mh and making that a priority would definitely serve you well in the long run. i took a break from it and now, when im starting to consider seeking part-time TA work again, i can see advantages of the job now that im looking from afar + after a break to recalibrate my mind and my approach. part-time hours might be a great compromise for you that works out - its a lot less overwhelming and a lot more manageable - but if that still ends up feeling like too much for you, that's okay. it's pretty clear that you're burnt out and in need of some deep emotional rest and catharsis, someone to talk through your feelings with so you can examine where they come from and how to cope with them healthily in the future, which is totally understandable - most people need that or a version of it at one point or another. i know the nhs is on its last legs esp in terms of mental health care, but i would encourage you to ask your doctor for a referral + seek out support groups in your area or any cost-effective private therapy practices if that's an option for you (a lot of them are willing to work with clients to agree on a manageable price.) anyway sorry for rambling, i think i just wanted you to know that you have numerous ways forward here and that your current stress level is completely justified + relatable to me as a TA with MH struggles. i think it's about finding a balance, whatever that looks like for you. im rooting for you and if you want to talk about this a bit more, i will be here. also, thank you so much for the kind words 💌💌 they really made my morning feel a bit less shit. i know im just a stranger and nobody has to take my words seriously or listen to them ever and it means a lot that they sometimes do. sending a big hug your way. it's ok to put yourself first for as long as you need and are able to! X

I'M SORRY I KNOW I SHOULD'VE LIKE PUT THIS IN THE SAME REQUEST BUT AFTER I READ YOUR TIMXDECEASED!READER I GOT AN IDEA..

BUT IDK HOW THIS WORKS LIKE WHAT IF SHE GOT REVIVED OR SMTH (OR LIKE IDK SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY D*E JUST WENT MISSING OR SOMETHING BUT GOT DECLARED DEAD?)

AND BTW

I love the way you write and thank you thank you so much for Doug my request:3

Remember to rest and stay hydrated mwa I love you!!<333

-🙀 anon

Tim x reader who went missing but returns!

UEUEUEUEUE thank you!! i was so nervous that the post was going to be kind EUGH!! since im rusty with MH and my brains foggy on the lore + still experimenting with how i write the og/mh versions of tim !! admin grew up with creepypasta first marble hornets later (though its been a blast getting into mh!! yahoo!!) that said i hope you enjoy this as well!! previous post/post in question!

just like a lightning bolt i was struck with the image of tim and reader hugging, studio ghibli style. you know. like getting INTO it

though.... would it be in character? in not sure, actually..! because on one hand i can see him being happy to see you still kicking, after being supposedly "dead" for lord k nows how long, but i can also see him cautious... like are you a threat? are you going to pull some stuff? i think it depends on how far into the whole mess of MH that this would take place in

thinks

god know because you know how in the other post i mentioned that he would make a little memorial... thing for you. like its just a space somewhere with your picture and some stuff you like/had. thats going to be fun to explain to you. probably takes it down when youre confirmed to still be alive

do not tease him about it. i do think that would actually cause some issues. like i thought about this as a joke but can you imagine how messed up that would be, to try to joke with him about that?

therapy. you guys both go to therapy. i mean he needed it even before you showed back up, but i doubt you just suddenly coming home is going to erase all the grieving he went through

"youre just as beautiful as the day i lost you"/ref or however the quote goes

oooooooouuuugh imagine its been so long and you guys have the rekindle your relationship if you guys want to make things work

i dont know, the admin just enjoys tropes like that. same energy as the "we knew each other in a past life and have once again found our way to each other" but in a different font... kinda...

if this is post-MH you guys both grieve together over all that was lost/who had died, as well as generally trying to recover

i do think that after the initial shock he would ask a few questions... though im not actually sure if he would interrogate you... i can see both, actually. on one hand he wants to know exactly what happened to you and where youve been, but on the other hand hes just so exhausted that he doesnt think he can handle the truth for the foreseeable future

baby steps, you know

I Started Typing A Regular Post When Oops It Turned Into An Update Post (Mainly about MH-AU & XXY)

Just spent the last couple hours give-or-take on completing Cleo's profile, which I'm excited to be releasing later today! Her post is scheduled to release around noon EDT (I scheduled Lagoona's and it made things a lot easier to post her at a reasonable hour so I'm doing that from now on cause OH MY GOD :'D). She will be the last in the current set of character designs/bios I have prepared.

I have one teensy tiny more MH-AU goodie for Halloween before I get back to XXY full-time (dw I have been working on it in the background, progress has just been super slow cause I'm trying to finish the fic's outline). I will still be working on the MH-AU, don't get me wrong, just not as my top priority cause my PPG followers have been patient enough with me for more XXY content. I do plan on making another series of character design/bios, this time focusing on the mansters since they actually serve a purpose in the fics other than "the boyfriend" (Sorry they didn't do too much in a majority of the movies okay, I love them in the webisodes tho!). And once Cleo's post drops, I'll make a masterpost for the MH-AU since there's enough out now that I feel it necessary; keeps all the lore organized and junk. I'll have it linked in my general masterpost for quick access should anyone need it for reference. If they are updated at all later on, I'll make a post about it.

My current oneshot WIPs for the MH-AU are: - My equivalent to G1's New Ghoul @ School (tbh I might just use that name cause it's so iconic and I can't really come up with anything better lol), which might end up becoming a SMALL multichapter should it require that (3-6 Chapters max). There's a lot that goes on in Frankie's first week, more than the original series of mishaps unfortunately (poor Frankie :'D), and it also sets up a lot of stuff prior to the first week of school for them that I think is super important to their character. - Taking A Lycan To New Salem (Working Title), a short story about one of Clawdeen's human-side escapades gone wrong. (I want to talk about this one SO BAD but alas, it'll have to wait til I finish the fic. I'm already 1k words into it!) And I have several more in mind that I can't wait to write and share. Until then, I'll keep you guys posted!

(Random side note: I had no idea how many of these characters were gonna have a criminal record like holy shit dgfhgsddfg)

---

I've been in a super artsy mood so if I can manage to actually complete a sketch of the team, I really wanna post a drawing of XXY as a whole (I tend to ditch my sketches after 1-2 characters are drawn q-q). I also really wanna draw the "Normie Trio/3" as I call them, consisting of Robin, Mitch and Mike. I eventually wanna draw more characters that get redesigns from age, alterations in the case of the reboot villains, and such, but I think I just needed to get into the art mood again cause now I actually plan to do these things! :D

Also, while progress has been slow, I'm gonna assume from my current status that I'll be able to complete XXY's next batch probably around the end of this year, to be released in January. I'm so sorry to delay its release to January, but please understand I am really passionate about this story and wanna make it the best (and most fun) I can make it. And I'm not gonna go out and say "hey this is exactly how many chapters there'll be," but I might end up making about 70 chapters total including all the intermission/MultiPOV chapters, but that remains to be seen.

I do have good news for you guys, however; considering where the story is headed, I've realized I'm gonna need to throw in another intermission chapter at the end of this batch, with a new character's POV! They haven't shown up yet, and won't until that chapter, but believe me when I say I am VERY VERY excited to write it and I really love this character. The chapter name for them is super appropriate too lol.

While I'm here I'm gonna drop the chapter titles, as they don't really reveal anything. The previous theme was weather patterns, focusing on the coming and going of rain and shine. This one's flowers!

Chapter 8 - Gladiolus Chapter 9 - Hyacinth Chapter 10 - Spearmint Chapter 11 - Coriander Chapter 12 - Hibiscus Chapter 13 - Violet Chapter 14 - Jasmine Tobacco

Hope all the little tidbits I shared hold you guys over and get you excited for the coming months. Thanks as always for your patience!