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taurussbabe · 1 year

Text

You are in love

pairing: mason mount x fem! about... Taylor inspired fic. a/n: i'm actually proud of this one! i tried to show anxiety the way i feel it, so sorry if it offends anyone 🫶 TW: anxiety, panic attacks word count: 1.8k

Small talk, he drives

Coffee at midnight.

You turn around once again, cursing at yourself for not being able to fall asleep, looking at the clock, realising it was only midnight. You try not to move too much, considering mason is right by your side fast asleep by now. You stare at the ceiling one more time before getting out of bed slowly. You lean against the kitchen island, silently drinking your glass of water before walking to the couch, wrapping yourself in a blanket and turning on the tv. You took the sound off almost completely before putting on your favourite episode of friends.

On the other side of the house, mason had woken up and searched for you in bed, when he couldn’t find you, he made his way to the living room, spotting you all curled up on one end of the couch, giggling at some silly remark one of the characters had made.

“Can’t sleep, love?” you looked in his direction, turning off the tv as he made his way to you.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nope, I just couldn’t sleep without you. Are you ok?” he sat down next to you, enveloping you in his embrace, kissing the top of your head.

“Yeah, just the usual” mason is aware of how your anxiety sometimes took the best of you, but he always found a way to deal with it.

“You have a beautiful mind, you know? I love how your mind works” you looked up at him sceptical by his words “I do! I love it because it’s part of you, and I love every part of you. You’re perfect y/n, I mean it, I could spend 24/7 talking to you, because you always make me smile and always make me feel safe, so I want you to tell me when it gets too much in your head, that way you can share it with me, and I’ll help you feeling safe”.

“Mason, that’s really sweet, but if I can’t do that. If I do that, instead of being just me with problems, it’ll be the two of us with problems and I can’t bear to think that it was me who made you feel that way”.

“What if, instead of both of us feeling bad, you tell me what happened and I’ll help you seeing things clearer, I mean, you always say that when you share things with other people it helps you see from different perspective, that way, we’re both feeling good. Ok? Can we try that?” your only reaction was nodding softly and pushing yourself impossibly closer to him. “C’mon let’s go”.

He got up and grabbed the car keys “Where?”

“Starbuck’s. I know how to make you feel better” you smiled at him as he offered his hand for you to take.

Morning, his place

Burnt toast, Sunday

You keep his shirt.

He keeps his word.

Mason woke up first, the sun creeping through the curtains. He ran his hand through his hair before opening his eyes, only to see you still fast asleep, hair sprawled and cheek pressed against the pillow. He moved closer to you and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. The only sound in the room being your slow and deep breathing. He took this moment to take you in, how you had a tiny little mole just above your eyebrow and how your lips were slightly parted, memories of the night before came back to him which made him appreciate this moment even more. Now, you were peaceful, zero concerns on your mind. He kissed your cheek gently and got up quietly.

You opened your eyes, only to realise mason wasn’t there. After your talk, last night, you managed to get some sleep, mason holding you the whole time.

You got out of bed to find mason dancing to a song while cooking breakfast. You leaned on the doorway, just enjoying the sight in front of you, but then he finally looked up, causing you to step out of your little trance. “Cooking?” you asked him, and he nodded, pointing at the eggs he was making.

“You look good in that shirt” you looked down to see one of mason’s old shirts, the one you usually slept with.

“It’s yours”

“I know” he pulled you for a kiss, and what started as a soft and loving kiss, quickly turned into something more heated, more passionate, causing him to groan during the kiss.

“Don’t you smell something? Mase, I think something’s burning”.

“Oh my god, the toasts” you laughed as he pulled them out of the oven, more burnet than the usual, but still eatable. “You distracted me”.

“I distracted you? You were the one who kissed me” you pointed your finger at him, supporting your argument.

“Well, I’m sorry if you look extremely hot in my shirt”.

You kiss on sidewalks

You fight, and you talk.

You were walking side by side when he suddenly pulled at your hand, stopping you in your track. “What’s up?”

“You are looking very kissable right now” you almost laughed at his comment if it wasn’t for his serious face.

“Then do something about it, mase” and he did, he kissed you softly, one hand on your waist, the other on your cheek.

You continue your walk until you got home and saw some pictures of the pair of you kissing earlier, you know you shouldn’t, yet you couldn’t help but to go through the comments. Most of them said nice things, but there was also some who called you nasty things, saying you were only with him for money or fame or some more awful things about yourself that you knew weren’t true, yet your anxiety took the best of you again, causing you to doubt everything.

Mason walked in the room in the middle of your breakdown, he immediately noticed there was something wrong with you. “Love, are you okay”.

You couldn’t help but to shed a few tears. Mason knelt down so he was at your level, both of his hands on your knees, begging you to look at him and focus on his voice, but your mind was already over reacting, thinking of a thousand different possibilities. “Please, tell me what happened, y/n.”

“I want to break up” it wasn’t true, you really didn’t, but at the time it felt like the easiest solution to your problem. You couldn’t think straight, you mind had a million thoughts on it, your heart beating way too fast, you couldn’t control your breathing anymore, it was becoming too much.

“What? Why?” his eyes now teary eyes were looking into yours “Y/n, talk to me, please.”

“I can’t, I can’t, we have to break up”.

After that, the only sound in the room were both of your sobs, you watched as mason breathed in and out a few times before speaking.

“Listen, we both need some time, ok? Let’s do something, I’m gonna go for a walk and you’ll be here, then we’ll talk, and I promise if you still want to break up, we’ll break up, but promise me you’ll be here when I come back.” You only had it in yourself to nod but this time he needed more reassurance “Promise y/n” he said, he’s voice breaking.

“I promise”

With that he got up, pressing a kiss to your temple and leaving. You didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to break up and there were only a few negative comments, you knew not everyone is going to like you, it’s impossible to please everyone.

Hours passed by and mason was still not home, it was dark and night by now, you were getting concerned and about to text him when you heard the door and saw mason walk in

“Can we talk?” he asked, his eyes were puffy and his nose red, you could he had been crying and I it killed you to know you were the one to cause him that pain. “I’m sorry y/n, I don’t know what I did but I must have done something to upset you, so I’m sorry” how could he think he did something wrong, and could you stand there, listening to him blame himself for everything and not say anything, that was your breaking point.

“Mason, stop” you don’t know where you found the strength to be able to control yourself but seeing him that miserable made your heart drop and you couldn’t take it anymore “it’s not your fault, it’s mine. Someone took pictures of us kissing earlier and I saw some comments and you know my head, I started to overthink, and I couldn’t stop. Last night, you told me to share things with you, I’m trying, I really am, I promise. I was wrong, I don’t want to break up, that’s the last thing I want, but I understand if you want to because of what I did to you today, but I need you to know, it’s not your fault, you’re perfect, the best thing I could ever ask for and yet, I still go ahead and ruin it. I’m sorry”

He stood there for a couple seconds, just staring at you before moving closer to you and enveloping you in his arms. You broke down at the gesture while he whispered soft things to you, brushing your hair in the meantime.

“I love you, okay? I’m not gonna leave just because you had a panic attack, I love all of you” He pulled you closer and kissed you softly “We’re good, and we’re always gonna be good”.

“I’m sorry, I really am mas-”

“Hey, stop apologizing, we’re okay, I love you”.

“I love you too” you don’t know how long you stayed like that before he pulled you to bed.

He took your shirt off carefully and kissed all the way from your lips to your neck, making you moan in response. That night, he showed you just how much he loved you and cared for you.

One night he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says

You're my best friend

And you knew what it was

He is in love.

You woke up once again, in the middle of the night, but this time it wasn’t your anxiety, no, this time it was mason, he was tracing weird shapes on the skin of your arm.

“Shit, did I wake you up?”

“I don’t mind being woken up by you” he smiled at you before his features changed, you couldn’t quite place what was this new expression, but he opened his mouth before you could ask.

“You’re my best friend, you know that?”

“I though your best friends was dec” you laughed, and it made him chuckle as well.

“Yeah, well, you’re like a more special best friend. I love you”.

“I love you too, mase” he pulled you closer, so your head was on the crook of his neck, allowing you to kiss that skin.

#mason mount x oc #mason mount x you #mason mount fluff #mason mount x reader #mason mount #mason mount imagine #mason mount x y/n #mason mount concept #chelsea football club #taurussbabe

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angelsanarchy · 9 months

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Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 01 -> CH 02

"Having any second thoughts about staying in the house of horrors?" "I'm embracing the horrors that make up my life, remember?"

A year ago Jack was being checked into a mental health facility by his best friend. He didn't resist. He felt like he had lost his mind in the process of losing his parents, his childhood dog, his fiancee and the baby she was carrying, along with things that weren't as important like his home in California and his job for the magazine. He had officially lost everything and the only thing that was keeping him tethered to life was Shanda. She refused to let him off himself so the next best thing was to get him help.

Jack had received a few diagnoses during his facilitation. He learned some hard truths as well. His mother had perished in the car accident with his father, the "neighbor" Duncan was actually not real and the people who lived next door were all much older and retired without children.

Once he finally got around to reaching out to Cleo, she threatened him with a restraining order if he ever contacted her again. He knew he deserved that after letting her suffer from a miscarriage alone.

The doctors felt as though the repressed memories of his sexual abuse as a child would eventually resurface. They claimed it to be PTSD triggered by the sudden deaths of his parents. The mental break was classified as a psychotic disorder which made him roll his eyes.

"Oh just that?" He had criticized the doctors at how blase they had been when he explained he tried to murder the ghost of his mother in the place she had died in the car wreck. He knew he was psychotic, he just wanted to make sure he would be able to get cigarettes when they locked him up and threw away the key. However once he got an established therapist, a plethora of medications and a regularly monitored schedule, they felt he was ready to be released.

"Are you sure this is where you want to be? We can get a place here that's not this house or you can move in with Crystal and I?" Shanda had picked Jack up from the facility and he was determined to gut out the memories of his childhood home and start over. There was nothing left in California for him and currently this was the only place he could go that he knew and didn't have to pay for.

"I'll be fine. I'm sure you've already removed the sharp objects so what's the worse thing I could get into?" Jack joked darkly.

"I'm serious. I can stay with you if you want? Crystal will understand." Shanda pressed. Jack hadn't been alone since the day she dropped him at the facility. The idea of leaving him unsupervised in a place with so many horrible memories didn't sit right with her.

"I'm highly medicated and supervised by a licensed therapist almost daily. Fuck, they even have a care worker that stops by at least twice a week to make sure I'm not just sitting around drinking myself to death so I think your bases are covered, Shan." Jack knew the medications had terrible side effects but he can honestly say killing himself hadn't been on his mind in at least 4 months.

Shanda had visited him in the facility once a month and once he leveled out, his therapist had him write apology letters to all those he had hurt. The only person to reply was his old coworker who had sent a "Sorry about you getting fired after you lost your mind" text. Shanda got a letter but she slapped him in the forehead and said "I love you, you stupid fucker." He didn't expect Cleo to respond but he hoped that she was doing alright.

He had abandon all forms of social media during his rehabilitation and had zero desire to fire up any of those accounts now that he was out. There were moments where he wasn't even sure why they agreed to release him but he wanted to at least try and live as normal as possible.

Shanda pulled up to Jack's childhood home which she had made sure to run threw top to bottom almost as if she was child proofing it for Jack's brain to handle. He joked about the sharp objects but she in fact replace the cutlery with plastic ware just to be sure.

"Having any second thoughts about staying in the house of horrors?" Shanda asked pulling him from his thoughts as he stared at the house.

"I'm embracing the horrors that made up my life, remember?" Jack looked from the house towards his best friend. He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her into a hug inside of the car and feeling the bone crushing grip she had on him. He knew she was scared. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't either but he had to try. He couldn't live locked up forever.

They got out of the car and walked into the front doors. Things had been cleaned up. The window had been repaired and the floors looked polished.

"Jesus did you stress clean the whole house?" Jack teased tossing his bag on the floor.

"Fuck no, I called a service. I'm not Mary fucking Poppins, bitch." Shanda shook her head. Jack smiled at his friend and gave her a playful shove. He walked through the first floor of the house, into the kitchen and noticed the plastic ware.

"So who do I call when I need a can opener?" Jack tapped the top of some spaghetti-O's with a plastic knife.

"Try Ramen. It's in a package and you can tear it open with your teeth." Shanda had apparently gone grocery shopping too. The pantry as full of snacks and things for him to prepare that require minimal effort.

"Oh so you prefer I die of heart failure from the sodium instead of driving a corkscrew into my neck, I see." Jack tossed the package of Ramen on the counter. Jack's jokes about death or killing himself used to bring humor to their conversations but Shanda found it hard to hear him joke so freely after watching him go through his breakdown.

"Hey, I wouldn't be back here if I didn't think I could handle it. I promise to call you every day. I have my therapist on speed dial and I will talk to one of the neighbors about being my life alert or whatever if that will make you relax." Jack put his hands on Shanda's shoulders and rubbed hoping to ease her anxiety. She threw her arms around him to hug him once again. This time he hugged back with the same force.

"I love you, you stupid bitch. Don't you ever forget it." She said into is hair.

"I love you too, you whore." She had saved his life. It was time he started making something of it again so it would be worth it.

#Jack Thurlow #Jack x Y/N #One Shot Series #Culkin Cult #Rory Culkin #Jack Goes Home #Glass Houses #Y/n not mentioned in this chapter but this is just an intro for story layout #Y/n will appear in the third update #1/38

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tobiasdrake · 3 months

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In a world filled with terrible wrongs that have been committed, the worst has finally been righted. I'm so proud of us.

Look at that smile. Have you ever seen a more beautiful smile in your life? The answer is no. You haven't.

That is the face of hope rewarded.

The sun and moon still helped. We didn't get the surge of power until the sun was shining directly onto the moon, which is itself glowing so obviously it's doing something.

But also, this is definitely some proto-Guardian Gods shit. Luanna and Solen's power was with us.

Which means we should be able to fly under our own power now. Fort Fleshy is no longer unassailable. We should go see how he's enjoying the monsoon.

But first?

This is an unmistakable declaration of war. We're coming for you, Aephorul!

Right. Uh. Right after we do some other stuff.

Stuff like that. There's a whole lotta stuff that still needs doing before I'm ready to besiege Ganon's Castle.

This looks interesting. Let's start here. What's this place do?

IT'S PRETTY AND I WANT IT

Some people might have reservations about cultural graverobbing. However, counterpoint: gimme gimme I want it.

As dissatisfied as I am with their prophesizing, these liquid walls are pretty sweet. Sturdy enough to stop an object from passing through without a certain amount of force behind it.

Okay so this is where the pretty thing goes. Somebody wanted whatever's in here kept locked away so badly that they broke the key into fragments and stashed the fragments in different corners of the Docarri civilization across the globe.

I bet it's treasure. Blindly opening ancient vaults is usually both rewarding and profitable. Or there's an unkillable horror behind them. One of the two.

Combination lock. I have no fucking idea how we're supposed to open this.

I guess there's no pressing reason why we'd want to open this, other than to rob Roro again for funsies. Though that is a valid reason.

Hm.

Finally, we get to see what's behind this--

MOTHERFUCKING LAVOS SPAWN ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT

AGAIN

AGAIN!?

NO I REFUSE

Fuck out of here with your "knock people down to 1 HP" bullshit. I'm having none of it.

I love how even the Achievement is outraged. "Hey, that's a reskin!"

What. What. No. How dare.

I am so furious right now. Nobody fucking appreciates the work I do I swear to the moon

He's not listening, Zale. he's a hollow shell of a person that Resh'an left to mock us.

Uh, he didn't lead us here. I came here of my own volition. Nobody fucking appreciates my leadership decisions either, apparently.

Let's get out of here. I'm mad and I want to punch something.

Speaking of, I wonder if the arena's finally open? Brisk's been working on that for ages.

Interesting choice of branding. Personally, I would not name my business after a national tragedy that claimed the lives of countless people. One that's so fresh in people's memories that the victims are likely still in mourning. That's a good way to get molotovs thrown through your window. But sure.

Oh, sure. Glad you like it, B'stie!

And now it's all about me again. Sorry to steal your thunder during your big moment, B'st but... What can I say? The public knows who the superstar here is.

Aww, Serai's up there cheering us on. I almost didn't recognize her in her getup. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, "CAP'N"!

Is that supposed to be intimidating? The claws are literally the only threatening part of a crab. What are--

*heavy sigh*

"Please welcome the legendary Supreme Lunar Abbess without whom all of our lives would have been forfeit on that great and terrible day! But she still has to work up through the ranks from zero anyway."

Okay. It's fine. At least the crowd already knows my name. I'll take out your trash for you.

#sea of stars #drake plays sea of stars

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legobiwan · 9 months

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How do you perceive Peach's and Luigi's relationship? Are they closer to best friends or merely just aquaintances?

Even though Peach's demeanour towards the brother is in some official cases presented as cold or indifferent in SPM she seems to be rather worried for him, even asking about Luigi's wherebouts and being, other than suprised, actually happy to see him during the Overthere section.

In reference to your works if its the former beforementioned option, I can only imagine just how much she has to be devastated to consider such a close to her person as a possible threat.

Btw sorry if you mentioned this already somewhere and turns out I'm just needlessly asking

Oh, no need to worry, anon! Even if someone had asked me this before (which they haven't!), I am more than happy to pontificate on these matters and almost any other :D

But this is a great question.

Luigi and Peach, I feel, are more than acquaintances, but less than best friends. I'd place them about one and a half levels below best friends. They've had great conversations, they've been through a lot together, but there's just some kind of block that prevents that last crumbling of walls for them to be as intimate (and I mean this in the non-romantic sense) as her and Mario (which is a whole other thing), or even Toad.

And I think there are actually a few fascinating layers to this, so let's do a little digging:

I would say the number roadblock to Peach and Luigi's connection being closer is Mario. But not in the way you might think. From Luigi's point of view, he knows his brother is very close with Peach, and also knows Mario has carried a torch for her for ages. And he doesn't want to stick his foot in it, to get in Mario's way even an iota, even though Luigi personally has no interest in Peach in that way whatsoever.

On top of this, she's royalty, and Luigi just sometimes gets a little awkward around her because of it. (Remember how he acted around Peasley. If he's on a mission, he knows the script, but the minute he has to socialize...well, he starts to remember who he is and where's he from. Anxiety is a hell of a drug).

And Luigi, just a person, strikes me as someone who doesn't open up to just anyone. Yes, he bumbles and preens and apologizes and boasts in sometimes almost dizzying reversals, but as I have mentioned before, anxiety can be a very convenient mask for other emotions when it comes to Luigi. I have the feeling that the number of people who really know him beyond that facade doesn't go higher than the digits of a single hand. (Mario, of course, is one of them. E. Gadd, I think, is another, although he doesn't make a big deal of it. Peach is constantly on the cusp of that barrier but never quite makes it through).

Now, from Peach's perspective, there's also a lot going on. She and Mario are close (and yes, there's some unrequited feelings happening on both sides there). And this would be less of an issue if it weren't for the fact that her subjects see her and Mario as something kind of...inevitable, their imagined union a galvanizing concept. And being seen spending too much time with Luigi might (probably will) set off one of the many rumour mills always twirling in the Mushroom Kingdom. She doesn't want that for Mario and she really doesn't want it for Luigi, even though she knows there is zero interest on his part.

And the other issue, of course, is that it's obvious to her that the Toads, for whatever reason, have just not taken to Luigi, at all. She's done what she can to mitigate the situation, but she also knows coming down with a too-heavy hand would just position the Toads even more in opposition to Luigi's presence. And she is their Princess, their direct ruler, and she has to be practical. Because above all else, she serves her people, serves the memory of her father, and that, even more than her connection to Mario, is her absolute guiding force.

So yeah, I imagine she would be devastated in regards to the events of SPM, both for Mario and Luigi (and maybe she's more forthright about her emotions in this regard because she isn't in the Mushroom Kingdom or one of its affiliates, and it's always easier to be someone else when you're somewhere else). But Peach, I think, is a pragmatist at heart. She has to be. She runs a Kingdom that is continually besieged by foreign powers and holds no standing army. The woman is a damn survivor and knows how to play the game, as unpalatable as it may be at times. (And in the context of my writing, it is very, very unpalatable for her).

And the thing is, she likes Luigi. He's a good man, an incredibly intelligent man, someone with a surprisingly wicked sense of humour when she's able to tease it out of him. And she knows he has no lack of insecurities due to his dynamic with Mario, no matter how much the brothers love each other (and they do. Although, I think a story from her perspective, observing the interactions of the brothers over the course of certain events would be fascinating).

But she can never quite get Luigi, as he has always had this hint of living in a distant fog, and she's pretty sure he doesn't belong in the Mushroom Kingdom, despite all the good he's done for it (even if it has, for the most part, been uncelebrated). And this isn't as pejorative as it sounds - plenty of Toads have left the Mushroom Kingdom, for better economic prospects or to find a culture they more closely align with. That Luigi can't find his footing in her Kingdom - that's no sin. That he lacks the resolve or the ability to carve his own path - that's something else, altogether.

#hello there #ask legobiwan #i feel like i need to put a disclaimer on this that this is very related to my writing and how i view these characters and these worlds #luigi #princess peach #honestly it's a relationship that really needs to be explored more #anyway #legobiwan goes on a rant #on like my third work break #ah remote work #where i finish projects and bill people at 1am because they allow me to go into vampire mode

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saberghatz · 3 months

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1-70

OH MY GODODOD CRACKING MY KNUCKLES

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? YES PRETTY GOOD!!

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? My friends :')

03: Do you regret anything? Like a billion things that I won't get into here >:)

04: Are you insecure? Only on Fridays

05: What is your relationship status? SINGLE YEAAA BOIEEIEEEE

06: How do you want to die? In my sleep would be the most ideal tbh I'm down for that

07: What did you last eat? Ritz crackers and peanut butter;;.....

08: Played any sports? IN MY LIFE? YEA!! RECENTLY? UHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh

I hate playing on teams so I usually just fuck about on my own or with friends, you'll never catch me joining like actual sports teams again

09: Do you bite your nails? Surprisingly no o-o

10: When was your last physical fight? Too long ago. I'm really itching. SOMEONE PLEASE SPAR WITH ME

11: Do you like someone? I WISH I DID. FUCK.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? HEEELL NAW I'M LIKE A GRANDMA WHEN IT COMES TO GOING TO BED EARLY (against my will, i am simply a tired bitch)

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? Everyone except the people I don't hate

14: Do you miss someone? Deeply :D

15: Have any pets? I don't have any personally, but my mom has two kitties named Nikki and Tessie. When I go visit her, I get to see them too. She had them since before I moved away, so I still consider them kind of my cats :')

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Lonely enough to do this, but also happy enough to do this

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? I thought this said 'have you ever made it out of the bathroom' and I'm like honestly no my ibs could never

On that note, no but call me

18: Are you scared of spiders? No :(

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I'd go back to a time before I was born, definitely the 70s or 80s just to experience it for awhile.

But if I was limited to only going back in time during the years I was alive, no I would never go back. I feel like I've learned a lot over the years and I don't want to lose that progress

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? Probably the airport

21: What are your plans for this weekend? MY ROOMMATE BLAIR HAS A CHOW CHOW PUPPY AND WE'RE TAKING HER TO A DOGGIE SOCIAL ON SATURDAY. Also maybe going to an art show/mall on Sunday.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? Zero, have you seen the state of the world??

23: Do you have piercings? How many? I have ear piercings, but I think they closed up :// I REGRET LETTING THEM CLOSE

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Like in school? That's a lifetime ago oh god Science

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes almost everybody I've ever known, whether it ended on good or bad terms. I am simply a sentimental soul with a horrible memory

26: What are you craving right now? Making out with a stranger that I know

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? @_@;;;.... yea

28: Have you ever been cheated on? No

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? PROBABLY, I'M SORRY IF SO

30: What’s irritating you right now? Social media is grating on my fucking nerves, so much so that I'm weening off insta and twitter and I've ended up back here. Right here.

31: Does somebody love you? If so lemme know

32: What is your favourite color? Pink, white, gold

33: Do you have trust issues? Fortunately not

34: Who/what was your last dream about? I think I dreamed I was Percy Jackson and I was befriending some monsters instead of killing them.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? My roommate like literally yesterday :D

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? I'd give anyone a second chance, but I don't think I'd give a third chance.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? I forgive because I don't hold grudges and then my memory is so rotten that I forget why I was mad in the first place

38: Is this year the best year of your life? ITS BARELY 2024 SO I CAN'T ANSWER YET

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16 I think. Shout out to Solangelo

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? No but this made me realize I never have, and now I want to

51: Favourite food? I can't think of anything, so like I do at restaurant menus I'll default to chicken strips :)

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes 100%

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? shower, work on writing my fics, jerk off, draw, you decide what order

54: Is cheating ever okay? Never, unless your partner knows but then its not chEATING IS IT

55: Are you mean? Honestly maybe

56: How many people have you fist fought? Not enough (none. please. please spar with me I need to train)

57: Do you believe in true love? I believe some people believe in it and can find that for themselves. I hope I become one of them

58: Favourite weather? If I can't wear a bikini, I'm sad. But crisp Autumn mornings also hit like no other..

59: Do you like the snow? I love visiting the snow, I wouldn't want to live in the snow

60: Do you wanna get married? I haven't really thought about it lately. So currently, I guess not xD

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Hell yea, but turn up the heat

62: What makes you happy? @hyenahijinks @yuuidflourite @comets-nix and drawing

63: Would you change your name? Some people call me Grace which I like a lot, it's my middle name tho

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? I'd totally do it, but I'd probably get that fist fight I've been begging for instead

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Been there done that, we over it and stronger than ever >:)

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? @hyenahijinks ILY bitch

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? @hyenahijinks

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? LOL MY MOM TODAY ACTUALLY

69: Do you believe in soulmates? ARE TRUE LOVE AND SOULMATES NOT THE SAME THING

70: Is there anyone you would die for? My friends and parents 100% but I'm also not like super attached to breathing to begin with so the decision would be very easy

THATS A HELL OF A WAY TO END AN ASK MEME THANK YOU FOR ASKING THESE HUMPHREY

#ask meme thing #asks #ask #hyenahijinks

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charleslebatman · 11 months

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can i just say it feels like history is repeating itself? first kimi then vettel now leclerc. ferrari throws away talents and then cry about it.

i know we’re only at the 7th race (feels like the 234th) but the only good weekend (kinda the race) was in baku, and im still trying to understand how is it possible that is always leclerc’s car, every. single. bad. race. call me conspirator (not sure is the right word, but pls understand what i mean) but how can it keep being a coincidence? it’s either sabotage or the people working there have zero fucking clue of what they’re doing (honestly don’t know what’s worse).

i feel so bad for Charles bc he believes so much in the team and keeps doing it after every bad weekend, while on the other side, it doesn’t look like it, and it really breaks my heart.

The length of the latest article alone, shows the failings at Ferrari. And, sorry to say, the discrimination that has been present since Todt left. It just shows me that we have to stop believing in coincidences and Ferrari's pretty public speeches.

Charles is sabotaged, but he's so loved by the tifosi that it's very complicated for Ferrari to appoint him second driver. So they do what they do best, sabotage him in the races and praise him in the speeches, making us believe that he is indeed the first driver. But he's absolutely not. I don't want to denigrate Carlos, because he's still a driver and he's just part of a system from which he benefits. Which is what anyone would do. But the more the seasons go by, the more Ferrari tries to introduce him as a potential winner.

The problem is that Charles is very good. On a par with Max. As a result, even with a shitty car, he does incredible things. I wouldn't say that's a problem for Ferrari. That's not the point. But I don't think that's the pattern they have in mind. I'm sorry, but this curfew thing shows a lot. They don't bother to put their most talented driver in the best possible conditions.

The fact that Carlos is second is what counts. They're in Barcelona, almost on pole, and their Spanish sponsor Santander is delighted. Why get into trouble for someone who's not the favorite in their plan, and who's been sabotaged to boot? Call me a conspiracy theorist. But no matter how much you criticize Red Bull, they're doing the right thing. You're good, we'll do anything to help you.

Ferrari proves that money is everything, and talent will never be as important as sponsors. You're going to tell me that it's the same everywhere. But it's not. Of course money counts for every team. But in teams like Red Bull, which have been dominant in the past or are dominant today, talent is at the same level as sponsors.

They know that talented drivers will always find a sponsor. They bet on drivers. Not sponsors. Which is Ferrari's mistake. Ferrari thinks the brand is enough. It isn't. New fans are first and foremost supporters of a driver, not a team. That comes later. It's not like 15 years ago. I'm a Charles fan, then a Ferrari fan. If Charles goes to Red Bull, I'll still be a fan of his and then Red Bull. I'm a driver first. Not a team. Especially a team that sabotages. You think sabotaging means being some kind of Joker or Marvel villain. But it doesn't. Sabotage also means not taking the time to do the job properly. Doing it carelessly.

That's what's happening with Charles and this curfew thing. The idea is clearly to sabotage. Charles will be the favorite of the tifosi, but never of Ferrari. He's clinging to a hopeless dream.

I think he wants so much to pay tribute to Jules, that he's trying to finish what Jules couldn't because he left too early. So, if he leaves Ferrari without a championship, he'll see it as a failure. That he hasn't honored his memory. Many people, perhaps too many, compare him to Jules. As a result, I get the impression that, unconsciously or not, he feels he has a mission to fulfil. That's just my opinion.

But that's what I see, a lot in the french-speaking community. Charles is almost french to us, not because he speaks French. But because he reminds us too much of Jules. And he was incredibly talented.

All the french interviews I've come across with old acquaintances or friends of Jules who say that Jules lives in Charles are frightening. I think that today, this comparison does Charles a disservice.

I sincerely hope that Fred will succeed in being the new Todt. Finally, let the drivers express themselves and stop seeing the sponsor at every victory. Even for Carlos, it's not healthy. Every time he wins, he's seen as a sell-out who doesn't belong there because the talented driver has been sabotaged. Whereas at McLaren he was really good and appreciated.

#charles leclerc #f1 #ferrari

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opheliaintherushes · 8 months

Text

I told myself I was done tormenting my kind and non-Riverdale-watching mutuals, and besides, I am too old and weathered for this fandom anyway, but really, the final, final thoughts on this finale and season as a whole:

First, and separately, does anything that happened after the characters got their memories back make sense? What was the point of it? They seemed completely unaffected by anything and happy to roleplay 50s teens. Were they even teens? Were they twenty-somethings sticking around high school like the vampires from Twilight for no explicable reason? Also, I'm sorry if you want to play the sentimental card, but if I was one of a handful of people who had traveled back in time and was stuck living in the past for 60 years or what have you, I would not lose contact with the others who also had. You would go insane! What did Archie tell his Modesto wife and child? Was Veronica picking up options on scripts she already knew would win Oscars? Did Jughead and Betty rewrite old issues of Mad and Ms. they might have read in the past? And is Gloria Steinem okay??? Also Betty and Jughead should remember they kind of hated each other in the future after the cheating and the voicemail, and Veronica should be so jealous of Betty for getting Archie, and Jughead should be so jealous of Archie for getting Betty, and my brain is hurting -

Almost more irritating were a) this idea that Archies are fundamentally stuck in the 50s (I owned the decade collections as a kid and the 60s and 70s were by far my favorites - very groovy), and b) the presumption that they did anything to address, expose, and or/fix actual problems of the 50s. Let us recap:

The school is already desegregated and this is never, ever discussed. The Black students are allowed to compete in beauty pageants, form their own literary club, dance on an integrated TV show, and join cheerleader squads, and this all happens with zero fight from the villains of the season. Fake Ray Bradbury and Fake Ray Bradbury's sweet but stupid wife think they could have settled in the south as a married couple in the forties. But? This is Riverdale, you say? They fixed everything? Sorry, you don't get to use Emmett Till to open the season and then eat your cake too.

Homophobia seemed to be the writers focus this season - except that every other episode someone would threaten Cheryl or Kevin, and then the next episode it would be an open secret at school with zero repercussions. Also, of course only the bad guys are homophobic (sorry Evelyn); our heroes are as forward thinking as they come. Hell, even Buffy had a moment to be wigged out by Willow and this was 1999! Anyway, look up what Lou Reed's parents did to him ('don't you know they're gonna kill your sons')

Let us not even discuss Reggie, who conquers racism through the power of athletics. Look up Richie Allen. Heck, watch the actual School Ties. It doesn't work out so well for David Greene in the end.

And then there's Fangs and Midge: first, rock and roll was seen as a huge menace, Fangs should've been on the school's hit list. Second, the writers obviously never read up on rock and rollers (who were generally older) and teen girls if they thought that was a good storyline. Third, they definitely never read any memoirs written by women in the 1950s, which all feature back alley abortions, slimy lovers, and shady doctors. (We don't even have time to get into Betty's idea of feminism being about sex all the time, everywhere, and becoming a burlesque dancer rather than, like, equal pay. Who knows, maybe she could have been the one harping on non-stop about the Beats and seen the cold face of her future there).

They didn't change anything. EC (sorry, Pep Comics) shut down. The Comics Code Authority won. So apparently all those artists who never worked again were just fine, right Tabitha?

#I don't even have the strength to hit it all #but where do they end up when they die? an eternal nightwashed sockhop in the sky #iconography with no context #hey I love Diner but even they had an unwanted pregnancy storyline and the girl doesn't get married!#I wouldn't care if they didn't get so high-handed about it #lest we forget voting on sundown towns and having the FBI save MLK #they cannot be trusted #Riverdale #a multiple choice ending because of Betty's failing memory really could've worked

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cljordan-imperium · 1 year

Text

OC Animal Tag

I was tagged by @late-to-the-fandom and @lynnedwardswrites

I'm going to leave this as Open Tag because I'm still getting caught up on everything I was tagged in, so feel free to jump in.

RULES - Choose any OC(s) and tell what animal they relate to and why

Cruz - Panther

Cruz does not roar like a lion. Instead he often moves in stealth and quiet until the time is right for him to strike and then he unleashes his power in a swift and brutal way that will catch whomever he is plotting against off guard. Some might say this is counterintuitive for the Horseman of War. Those people would not see the brilliance in the words of Sun Tzu.

Abriella - Man of War

Beautiful and delicate looking, she is deadly. At times she will seem to go with the flow and float along, but behind this facade is a lethality that will leave those who think to tangle with her in great pain, if they manage to escape with their life.

Deacon - Hawk

Always watching, noticing the smallest things that others might overlook. Because of his more introverted nature, Deacon is not one to launch himself into something without studying his surroundings and all those players who are in motion first. When he has decided and put himself into motion, if you are unlucky enough to be in the grasp of his talons, then you will meet his father Azrael, the Angel of Death, quickly.

Yael - Butterfly

Beautiful, delicate, and so easily damaged. She has come a long way from where she started and the being she is now does not in any way resemble the one she was centuries ago when joining the Nephilim forces. Some could say that she is currently in her chrysalis phase, where she is currently insulated from the world and protected, and transforming into that beauty that she deserves.

Olly - Wolf

A brilliant tactician and former General of the Nephilim forces, Olly prefers to work as part of the Legion (pack). He feels that the the best way to defeat the enemy is to work as a team. He also sees himself as connected to everyone else in the Palace, and even the new arrivals are accepted as "family" (pack) immediately. Threaten his pack, and he will ensure you do not get a second chance to.

Anna - Raven

Analytical, meticulous, loyal, and with a memory that is long, she is not one that you want to cross. She neither forgets nor forgives those who have wronged her or those she cares about. It has been 300 years and the fire still burns as hot in her breast to find those who massacred her family as the day it happened. And do not doubt, she will find them and they will pay.

Talon - Gator

Quiet, unassuming, he will move along almost unnoticed in the bayou of life, blending in with the common things around him. But when he strikes, there is no escaping the power of his jaws or the sharpness of his teeth.

Phaedra - Bee

Always in movement, always flitting about from here to there. It seems that the Water Nephilim is always in motion and always working on something. She is bright and cheery, but do not let that fool you. If you mess with her, you will definitely remember her sting.

Adriel - Badger

Gives zero fucks, intimidated even the Source of All, will seriously fuck you up if you mess with someone he cares about. You will not win against him, and if you escape with your life, he will make you sorry you even considered going up against him.

Cassandra - Spider

Delicate looking, she distracts with beauty and grace like the spider does with its silk. Luring those she is set upon entrapping with false senses of security and her false vulnerability, when they realize they cannot escape her web that she has so carefully woven around them, her fangs will already be draining the life out of them.

THE IMPERIUM CHRONICLES TAG LIST - @ceph-the-ghost-writer @kjscottwrites @writingpotato07 @saltysupercomputer @careful-pyromancer @late-to-the-fandom @autumnalwalker @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @jessica-writes22 @dogmomwrites @mjjune @verba-writing @blind-the-winds @shipping-through-eternity @outpost51 @inkspellangel @blind-the-winds @sunset-a-story @writingmaidenwarrior @clairelsonao3

#the imperium chronicles #writeblr #tag game #oc animal tag

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fakeloveaskblog · 1 year

Note

(Hi, me again. Happy new year!)

Hey Remy, here you go.

*a needle and thread appears*

Wanna here some fun facts? I haven’t told you any in a while.

Did you know that Australia is wider than the moon, the moon is 3400km in diameter and Australia from east to west is almost 4000km.

Did you know that shrimps hearts are in their heads.

Did you know that people are actually more creative in the shower because of an increased dopamine flow.

Did you know that my country’s (Scotland) national animal is a unicorn. It was apparently chosen because of its connection with dominance and chivalry as well as purity and innocence in Celtic mythology. Also because Englands national animal is a lion and unicorns are stronger than lions.

Did you know that you can here a blue whales heartbeat from over two miles away.

Did you know that an 'ultracrepidarian' is someone who voices thoughts beyond their expertise. Or in other words something who gives an option about something they don’t know anything about.

Did you know that a jiffy is an actual unit of time, it’s 1/100th of a second.

Did you know that you can’t hum if you hold your nose.

Did you know that Google was named after the googol, which is the number one followed by 100 zeros.

Anyway that’s enough of that. Is there anything you want to talk about or should we just make idle small talk?

Glow Eyes

(Gonna do it so ur sending Remy a fact a day for structural reasons)

Remy gave you a nod while taking the needle and thread. Remus had given them a pillow cover to embroider on. Their hands were shaking from anxiety but as soon as they got ahold of the needle muscle memory took over and they punctured the fabric with the starkly red thread.

They nodded without looking up as you asked if they wanted to hear a fun fact. They stopped for just a moment to give a shocked reaction at the Australia thing.

"That's like a huge bitch! Like I've neeever had plans to go to Australia and like I don't even have any favs from Australia. I'm no Kylie Minogue gay. But if it's that big maybe I gotta make Jannie and RemRem invade it so we can like control the earth y'know?"

You hovered down beside them and glowed a bright yellow so they could see what they were sewing more clearly. They mumbled out a thanks while patting you on your translucent head.

"I think I’m gonna go with needle weaving ‘cause it’s like gonna make the words more clear and since it’s for RemRem I wanna make it more fancy than a simply cross stitch” They explained while sewing “I used to make spiderweb patterns on my skirts by-”

The blanket on the other bed shifted as their roommate moved around.

“Girl sorry if I woke you up. I’ll be like quiet now” Remy quickly apologized.

A hand waved from somewhere in the nest of blankets “No. No” Their roommate’s voice was worn out and raspy “If talking to youself is what gets you to sleep don’t mind me” The pillow moved a little as he turned to the other side.

“Thanks girly!” They looked bach at you “So as I was saying there are like tots soo many different embroidery-”

When you returned to the tiny room at the rehab center the next day sunlight was shining in through the window and the roommate’s bed was empty. You could hear Remy mumbling out incoherent nonsense.

As you floated up a little bit higher you could see Janus laying in the bed with his head pressed close to Remy’s. His hand laid across their waist and his phone laid between them. They were sharing earbuds.

Remy was so pale their veins stood out like blue glowsticks. Their jaw was slack and their skin glistened from sweat. Their breathing was heavy and unsteady as their body seemed to twitch and shake at random intervalls.

Even though their eyes were only half open they kept their gaze on their partner as their trembling hand moved along his soft chin.

“Sorry babe I’m so boring” They mumbled out.

“It’s okay deary. I don’t mind listening to such riveting classics as” He glanced at what they were listening to (they had said the music grounded them) “...The femme fatale remix of Till the world ends with Kesha and Nicki Minaj. It’s always good to discover new music. And it’s even better to be with you”

Janus peppered kisses along their cheek which made them let out weak giggles. They closed their eyes and rubbed their nose against his.

“Sorry it’s all ‘bout me. What- what’s going on at your job?” Remy asked half lucidly “Or anything. How is the uh the ikea? Viv?” They blinked before slurring out “The library babe?”

They looked to Janus for an answer while kicking off the blanket. They’d dragged it on just a minute ago because “they’d been freezing to death” but now it looked like they were burning alive.

He smiled softly “The library is doing good darling. Logan asked me over to bake treats for the kids art and crafts evening- Oh a friend is here” Janus interrupted himself as he saw you.

“I think she’s trying to like remind me I’m not like alone” Remy groaned out while clutching their head. It felt like their skull was going to implode on itself.

You told your shrimp fact.

“I also have my heart in my head. That’s why I’m such a genius” Janus said with a smirk. They looked over to Remy and smiled even winder when they saw their partner laughing weekly.

The next day the room mostly looked the same except that Remus was the one sitting at the foot of the bed. Remy’s foot was sticking out from the blanket and they kept poking at their boyfriend’s side to annoy him. They still looked just as pale and they had huge bags under their eyes because the withdrawal symptoms were keeping them awake.

“Yeah so there I was lost in the woods” Remus babbled on “And suddenly a bunch of crows flew by over my head and- GHOST! HI!”

You flopped your ghost body on top of Remus head to make his brain feel all fuzzy while he laughed before telling your fact of the day.

Remus let up into a big sinister smile “Y’know the big reason everyone gets so much dopamine in the shower is ‘cause they’re all nakey”

He said it while tickling Remy right by their ribs so they let out into one of those shrill giggles. He kissed them on the cheek and moved a bit of their hair that had gotten stuck to their sweaty forehead behind their ear before laying down beside them.

“Just imagine the RAW NASTY creative power if someone mushed like 8 naked people all at once into a shower”

“Babe that’s just an orgy” Remy replied.

“Well then I gotta go look for statistics on how many brilliant creative endeavors were started during an orgy”

“Great excuse to become one of those uhhh like....I think Janny’s said it...Empirical scientists!” They looked proud of themself for remembering before another skull shattering headache hit them and their stomach dropped.

The room was empty the next time you showed up. The nurses had coaxed Remy into leaving the bed just for a few hours so they could clean since the sheets were drenched in sweat and had stains of vomit on it.

You floated through a few walls before finding Remy curled up in the sofa of the ‘living room’ of the rehab center. Remus had his head in their lap while scrolling on his phone. His partner was working on embroidering the pillow case so the fabric kept falling onto his face but he didn’t mind.

Remus looked up to find Remy silently crying. Tears rolled down their cheeks but they didin’t make a single sound, their eyes were barely even red.

He quickly sat up and reached out to cup their cheeks “Beanie, you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just” They closed their eyes tightly “Just withdrawal shit”

“You’re through the worst of it. I know it feels like having your liver picked by birds over and over again but it’ll be over soon”

Remy let go of their needle and thread as they sucked in a deep breathe to not start crying any harder “Every minute is just like so fucking slow an-and I keep thinking bout how This is just the start-”

“The withdrawal is gonna be over in like a week. 2 week tops! Then we go burn houses or scream in the woods or whatever you want!”

“This is the start of being sober!” Remy nearly choked on the word “I’m gonna have to remember and exists an-and already I don’t- I can’t stand- Everything feels SO real Remus! Everything- I- I can’t comprehend this” They held up their shaking hand “This is the same hand I had when I was being abused by my dad- same hand i had when I was flinching from Virgil- I- I don’t wanna be the same person all of that happened to! I don’t wanna have to live with it! I wanna forget! I wanna! I don’t want Myself to be real! I- I-”

“You can sob and sniffle and throw snot all over the place y’know” Remus said in his softest tone “I won’t get mad. You’re safe”

Remy’s face scrunched up into an ugly grimace as they let out a quiet whine. Remus moved his finger against their lip and waited until they nodded before kissing them. He held them close as they continued to sob.

You quietly decided to leave the room. You could just give two facts tomorrow instead.

It was late at night when you returned to Remy’s room. You found them sitting on the floor with their back leant against the wall, their hands were busy with the embrodeiry. Their cheeks had stains left from tears.

Your light pink glow made Remy look up. They smiled a little when they saw you.

“My head is having like loooads of stupid thoughts ‘cause of the uhm the withdrawal” Remy mumbled out, they looked dead tired “I told Jannie ‘bout some of them and they like convinced me to tell the nurses. They took my needle ‘cause it was too sharp they said but I got like a more round one” They sniffled “Earl- my uh roommate has been playing cards with me when Jannie and RemRem aren’t here but he needs his sleep so it’s like good your here right now. I could use the distraction”

You didn’t even have time to finish your fact about Scotland before Remy’s eyes went wide and their mouth turned agape in shock.

“You’re scottish!??! Girl I should have guessed with how you speak but I just assumed that like all ghosts sounded kinda scottish!! What the fuck is a scottish ghost doing in fucking Florida!? Girl if I die I’m getting the fuck outa here. I’mma be in fucking Havana or something. Sawry finish your lil fact”

You let out a little huff before finishing your unicorn fact.

“Having a unicorn as it’s country animal?....Kinda gay. Slaaay Scotland!! My new faav country! Unicorns having a connection with dominance!?” They twirled their hair “You telling me unicorns are doms...omg...”

You followed it up with the whale fact.

“The heartbeat!? Girl that would be calming as shit. Wait...Could you mimik whale sounds? That sounds like suuuuuper niiiiceee”

After a moment of consideration you took out your ghost phone and simply searched up a video of whale sounds before putting it against Remy’s ear.

“Are you kidding me? Did you not see the extrrrra extrrrordinary way I completely and uterrrrrly won this game of uno” Janus said sarcastically.

“I saw you cheating!!” Remus exclaimed.

“Me? Cheating?” They gasped “I would never! What about my honor!”

“You can get the honorary punishment of getting your hand gnawed off for cheating!”

Remus jumped forward and grabbed onto Janus’ wrist. He made loud chomping noises while only biting A little on their actual skin. Janus played along by throwing uno cards at his head.

The two of them were sitting beside Remy’s bed. Their partner had too much head fog from pain and sleep deprivation to play uno with them but just laying in bed and watching the two people they loved have fun made Remy feel better.

You interrupted the biting to tell them about ultracrepidarians. Janus let up into a smirk before boping Remus on the nose.

“Someone who speaks above their knowledge grade, such as you claiming I would ever cheat when you know nothing about the spirit of card games!”

Remus tried to bite their finger “HAH! You’re one to talk! You discuss criminal mysteries with me all the time and yet you’ve never drank even a TINY bit of blood!”

“Ohohoh but you love to speak of old torture methods when you don’t even know about the philosophical reasoning that led them to happen!” Janus argued back.

Both of them sent confident smiles at each other while crossing their arms. Remy rolled their eyes.

“Girlies get a room”

You added in your fact about Jiffys which made Remus loudly laugh.

“Hehe sounds like yiff”

You heard quiet crying when you came back the next day. Remy sat huddled up in a blanket in front of the single window in their room with a box of tissues. You sat down next to them and quietly told your fact about humming.

They rolled their eyes before trying to hum while holding their nose and when they couldn’t and their nose just felt stuffy instead they started to quietly chuckle.

“The doctor said my withdrawal symptoms had lessened enough that I could like go to my first therapist session...or well my first here” They sighed “I’m just like a lil torn up ‘bout it. It’s just like...Like...It just feels like tots FUCKED That they just leave me all alone right after a therapy session. I’ve never had to like talk about Viv in that way with like a professional before. Like the psych was nice like don’t get me wrong I just. I’m just a bit criey right now. Feeling memories....feeling like flashback type of feels....just need a minute”

You continued to glow for the rest of the time you sat there.

Remy was in the living room of the rehab center again the next day. You watched them play cards with some of the other patients for a while before they started to feel too naesous and had to go lay down on the coach. You floated down to them and summoned a hand to wave.

“hii girlie” They said in a tired tone “We had like a group art therapy thingie today. I dunno whyyyy, they said why but I like forgot. I painted Jannie and RemRem. Wanna see?”

They held up a paper with two vaguely human shaped blobs on them. There was a brown shaped blob on one of the human’s face, Remy pointed to it and explained it was Remus’ future mustache.

“You think they’ll like it? I actualllllly literalllllly tried my best especially since I know RemRem is artsy and all that”

They waited for your response for a little bit but you just responded with your last fun fact about gogol.

“Gogol...Sounds like some russian spy character”

They waited for your response about the painting for another minute before remembering something more. They gasped and clasped their hands together.

“Also!! I’ve like decided!! I am going to get a job once I get out of here okay!? Not ‘cause I’m scared of being like a burden....even tho I am also scared of that...I’m just like sooooo tired of just sitting at home y’know? I’ve gotten to test like those uhm what’re they called...elbow crutches! Which I think can like help me manage at a job. You got like any good ideas for jobs that would be like good for me?”

#finding out youre scottish was SUCH a big twist for me #i have imagined u with the most posh british accent EVER #fhjhfkfj #thanks for the ask!#remy sanders #sleepceit #sanders sides #ask

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sunshinebunnie · 2 years

Note

6 & 14 for the fic asks!

Awww, thank you for the lovely ask, @actnatural-ly!!

I answered #6 HERE.

As for #14. What trope would you refuse to write even if you were paid to do it?

Hmmmm..... probably a tie between preg fic (where the main character is pregnant) and kid fic (where the whole story revolves around my OTP as parents). My reluctance to write both kinda comes from the same place. I had 2 **really** shitty pregnancies and have ZERO positive memories of the experience. Like, seriously spent the better part of 2 years just praying for death kind of negative emotions about the experience. There's no universe where I'm going to write a story where, say, Lexi is pregnant and happy and living her best life because that wasn't *my* lived experience and it wouldn't feel authentic to write. (And honestly, I'm not really sure how many people who *DO* enjoy those types of stories wanna read my super caustic take on the whole "growing a human" thing.) Like, if I ever were to go down that path the tags would be like "Pregnancy, Whump, Angst, Dead Dove Do Not Eat". lol Just sayin'. Similarly, both of my kids have had different, but substantial health issues. As much as I'd love to say otherwise, I'm not always as zen a parent as I'd like to be because of it. (Having a child with sensory-seeking sensory deprivation issues will REALLY drive you to your wits end, especially when you have your own sensory issues to deal with.) Since a lot of my creative "juice" is fueled by stress, I'm worried that if I ever wrote a "kid fic" story, my OTP would not come across in a great light because I don't trust myself not to wind up writing about all the shitty parts of parenting. Again, more power to those people who want to read & write those fics, but I just don't ever see myself being in that camp because the product I'd put out would almost certainly NOT be what that audience is looking for in the tag. (Sorry to anyone who's dreams I just crushed by that answer, btw!!!)

Thank you for talking to me, doll!!!! I hope you have an awesome weekend!!

#the nicest people!!!#things for fun #sunshinebunnie psa #I am being a salty binch

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gotham-ruaidh · 3 years

Text

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

This story takes place during the summer of 1987. It's the time of the Cold War, and heavy metal, and Just Say No.

Ten chapters, each with a specific song as its soundtrack.

I'm so excited to finally share it with you.

----

Chapter 1: Starry Eyes

Soundtrack: "Starry Eyes," Mötley Crüe, 1981 [click here to listen]

It was quiet here in the mountains.

Claire Beauchamp drew in a long, shaky breath of clear, crisp air, and tucked her legs up onto the seat of the Adirondack chair. Watching the sun set over the valley.

Gripping the arm of the chair with shaky hands.

Behind her on the deck, a dozen or so strangers – men and women – shuffled into their own chairs, or to square tables with board games under one arm. Chatter wafted through the door that led into The Ridge’s main building.

The brochure that Joe Abernathy had pressed into her hands, sitting in the back seat of his Jaguar sedan while his wife Gail drove them to the airport, described The Ridge as a residential treatment facility. Her mind was still reeling from the intervention, and that Gail had already packed her a duffel bag stuffed with essentials – it had all been so seamless.

There were many things Claire had wanted to block out in the two years since she’d left Frank and everything had fallen apart. Many things she had shut out from the world around her, paralyzed by pain. But she hadn’t lost all of her faculties quite yet.

Because no matter what The Ridge called itself, no matter how beautiful the landscaping of its grounds, or the plush cushions on the chairs, or the gourmet meals prepared by the in-house chef (herself five years in recovery, or so the brochure proudly proclaimed), there was no hiding what it really was.

Rehab.

Claire was there because she was an addict.

And she would stay there until she had unfucked her life.

“Excuse me?”

She turned to see a tall man, red hair down to his shoulders, colorful tattoos covering every inch of his arms and disappearing beneath the sleeves of a well-fitted black t-shirt.

“May I sit next to you?”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

He flopped down into the chair, crossed his long legs, and lay both palms on the armrests, thumbs tapping a quick beat.

“First day?”

It had been forty six hours since her last fix, and pain sliced her skull. She hadn’t gone this long without in more than a year. “Yes,” she murmured.

Now his fingers joined in the tapping. “Thought so. The new ones always come in the middle of the day – that’s why Group is always in the afternoons. So we can have our individual sessions in the morning, and meet all together in the afternoon. It helps to stick to a schedule.”

She turned in the chair to look at him. He wasn’t looking at her – just gazing straight ahead – but he kept talking. “Anyway, it’ll just be a few minutes until dinner. I hope you like Mexican – they take Taco Tuesdays pretty seriously around here.”

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I can’t remember your name. I know we introduced ourselves at Group, but it’s all just a blur.”

He turned to face her, and she could hear his smile. “Don’t worry about it. You’re Claire – pills addict. That’s what you told us, anyway.”

“It’s true.”

“Well then.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Jamie – I’m an alcoholic. Bourbon, mostly. And a little bit of cocaine, now and again.”

She gripped his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m a sex addict, too,” he added. “John – my therapist here – he said that the more honest I am, the better it will be for me later on.”

“I appreciate your honesty,” she said, not quite sure what else to say.

“I’ve hurt a lot of people by not being honest, and by drinking, and not being honest about my drinking.” He folded his hands in his lap. Lallybroch read one tattoo inching up his left arm, and Ellen read another. “I’m on the tenth step. I’ve learned a lot so far.”

Claire stared down at her own hands – bare, except for her mother’s silver wedding band, which Uncle Lamb had given her when she was twelve. “Well, if we’re going for honesty – I’m a trauma surgeon, at one of the top hospitals in Boston. My asshole ex-husband used to hit me, and I prescribed myself some ludes to deaden everything. I wrote out the scripts to him, then took them to the pharmacy myself.” She pursed her lips, feeling his eyes on her. “I thought I had it under control – I thought that nobody noticed. Until I showed up high one day, and made a stupid mistake, and almost killed a patient.”

He was strangely quiet – and after silently counting to twenty, Claire looked up at him. He was still tapping his fingers against the armrest of the chair, though in a more structured, organized rhythm. Nodding his head. Thinking.

“It was my best friend who got me here,” he said softly. “I’ve known him since we were kids – he even married my sister. He saw what I was doing to myself, how much I was hurting her, and hurting the thing that he and I had worked so hard to build.” A spray of black and white stars flexed above his elbow. “Who got you here?”

“My best friend. We went to medical school together – he was my man of honor at my wedding. He and his wife staged a full-on intervention.”

Jamie’s brows lifted. “Wow.”

She nodded, encouraged. “I’d already been indefinitely suspended without pay from the hospital. I figured, what do I have to lose?”

“Yeah. We have to reach that point.”

A metallic clang pierced the air – and Claire jumped.

Jamie smiled. “That’s the literal dinner bell. Like I said, I hope you like tacos.”

Claire slid forward in the chair and stood, stretching. “I could eat anything right about now. I’m not too picky.”

Now Jamie stood – and smiled down at her. “I’m helping get everyone seated tonight – we all pick up chores around here. See you in there?”

She smiled back. “Yeah. And thanks for talking to me.”

“No sweat.” Quickly he stepped away from her and across the deck toward the door back inside.

“Hey.”

Claire turned to see a woman – young, dark-haired, size zero – remove her enormous sunglasses.

“Yes?”

“I can’t believe you were talking to him!” she exclaimed.

Claire shoved her hands into her pockets. “What do you mean?”

The woman shook her head. “Do you even know who he is?”

“He introduced himself. Seemed nice enough. Why?”

The woman huffed and flipped her hair over one shoulder. “That’s Jamie Fraser. You know – the singer and lead guitarist in Print?”

“Print?” Claire searched her scattered memory. “Isn’t that some hard rock band?”

“Not just some band – the biggest band in the world for at least five years now. Like, dozens of hits, videos on MTV 24/7, big stadium tours, and armloads of awards. I’ve been trying to get his attention since I got here! And he just walked right up to you!”

It had been a long day. Claire was hungry, and tired, and wanted nothing more than an aspirin and a pillow – maybe a taco first. Definitely not any more time with this girl.

“Well, thanks for the info – ”

“Geneva,” the woman explained. “I’m an alcoholic. You?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Claire made a beeline for the door.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #little bit better than i used to be #here we go

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stigandr-the-cat · 3 years

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AHHHHHH THANK YOU AGAIN TO @ghost-party for listening to me babble for hours on end and letting me join your collab not to mention beta reading!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TREASURE OF MY HEART 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

A/N : Update because i realized i have zero context for this. 😅

Modern! Single dad! Reiner with GN reader. Theme is meet-cute. 4.8k mentions of death, war, and injury. More along the lines of fluff with slight smut so minors DNI. ENJOY 😊

The young woman ran from Eldia, from a home torn apart with war. One arm caged her son Reiner against her chest, the other hand held fast to the child of her sister, the rest of their family dead. Still in the throes of grief that threatened to tear apart her soul, her only thought was to save the children in her arms. A prayer that they soon would find themselves someplace safe and far away from this nightmare dragged into daylight was whispered unceasingly on chapped lips.

Years later, at 24, Reiner Braun has worn each stage of life like too-tight skin. Skin split down his back as he tried to find freedom with each forward step. Each new layer would crack across the knuckles, dripping blood-soaked memories. More cracks formed down his chest, broken and straining against the strong beat of his heart. He had run from childhood into the military without a second to breathe let alone think. A military that sent him to that first forgotten home to kill his own people that everyone was raised to see as monsters. Yet on the return, he could only see them as a single entity being lead to slaughter. The sight of his mother's tears when he had left burned in his dreams before turning into the screams of comrades who hadn't come home. With that, he now carries himself like a broken weapon, only good for being melted down and used for scrap.

Upon an old motorcycle, Reiner settled down in the traffic, kickstand on the road. They hadn't moved in a while, and from what little he could see, they wouldn't be for a while. As if the sky above had conspired against his desire to have a peaceful night with half-forgotten family before returning to the apartment — to the death that waited. A clean, loaded rifle, with the barrel ready for him to swallow so he could greet the stars above. Would they be welcoming in their cold light? Most of them were long dead after images, just as he was only the mirage of whatever broken mold there had been before. Still, he would say his goodbyes while they welcomed his brother's baby girl into this broken world.

Slowly, traffic moved forward after an age of stillness. A silent prayer of thanks to whatever power kept the world spinning escaped Reiner's lips. The thanks turned into that sharp inhale of one who is trying to stay calm when faced with carnage. His eyes widened at the sight of the crash, one car so mangled as to be unrecognizable, trapped under a jack-knifed semi-truck. Blood dripped down a mangled hand, a ring glinting in a shaft of sunlight. Reiner wasn't sure if he felt envy or pity for the poor bastard. He crawled past and on towards the hospital where his family waited.

"Mr. Braun?" Reiner stood and turned towards the voice, faltering for a moment when he saw a policeman standing with a doctor. Their expressions were agonized, bodies as stiff as corpses on a sting.

"Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Cooper and this is Officer Forger. I'm afraid we have terrible news."

Reiner had known something was wrong when the nurse at the desk had, with the face of a ghost, told him to sit when he gave his name. How she had whispered into her phone, "He's here," when his back was turned. He sat stone-still, mind spinning. What could it be? What could be so bad that not one of the family could greet him? His heart thumped against cracked ribs, the scabbed-over, broken skin now oozing fresh blood at the strength of it. Fear filled his blood, choking the air.

"There was an accident. Your mother and brother were involved in a car crash and died. Your sister-in-law, upon hearing the news, became frantic, and in the attempt to restrain her, stitches from the caesarian tore open. We tried to save her but sadly were unable to do so."

Reiner felt the world stop, a shuddering breath turning to poison in his lungs. The car under the semi… Had that been them?

"What about..." His voice faltered before the soldier in him took over. "What about the baby? Gabi?"

"She’s fine. Healthy baby girl. There will be paperwork and other legalities to take care of, but it looks like you’re the only family she has left."

At nearly 30, this latest skin Reiner wears hardly fits him any better than others in the past. It still bleeds at the knuckles, staining his hands crimson. The baby turned toddler and now child, calling him Dad, not Uncle, even as Reiner tried to convince her otherwise. Gabi is as headstrong as both he and his brother combined. She has learned from her friends that he fits the definition of a dad, and so he is Dad. As such, he has taken this new name like a vow to be the best he could be. The rifle was long ago sold, his old uniform and medals placed in a locked box at the back of his closet, left to rot. The apartment that would have welcomed his death has now been left behind. With his daughter, they have made a faraway condo their home.

"Dad! It's time for the park!" Gabi calls, her little feet dancing loudly at the back door.

"I hear you, I hear you. One second," Reiner calls back from the kitchen, filling a water bottle before adding it to a backpack, along with some snacks.

Gabi continues to stamp her feet and huff as he puts on his jacket and shoes. Then they are out the back door, to the gate that leads from their backyard into the park. Gabi is already running top speed to the playground. Reiner just lengthens his strides to keep up, not even trying to get her to slow down. It’s as futile as trying to stop a rocket with bare hands.

At the park on the benches, three moms sit like The Fates squabbling over their single eye. He takes his place on another bench, close enough to hear them but only just. His mind is more focused on watching the children than listening to their continual tainted stream of gossip.

"Did you hear? The old condo sold, and apparently it’s the sister of that shrew," one hisses.

"They’re going to be living next to each other. It’s a family," a second observes. She must have spent the night over Facebook and wine again.

"Oh, look... Here comes the shrew. The kid must be the sister’s," the final woman — the ringleader — observes.

This catches Reiner's attention. He looks up from the kids to see the new arrivals. You are heart-stopping, wearing a black leather jacket and light pink shirt, snug jeans, and leather boots. Your hand is intertwined with one belonging to a small child, puffy in their coat and boots, and you silently encourage them forward to the swings. They look back at you before running towards Gabi to introduce themselves. Already her hand is taking the place of yours, and they are off running and tumbling across the playground.

Reiner has heard of you before, sure, the mothers only calling you “the shrew.” The only other single person on this block, they tried to set you two up as soon as they learned he was also single. But he never agreed and neither did you. An action he now regrets as his eyes drift back over you, a warm smile dancing on your lips as you stand before The Fates while they weigh you in the scale of their own image. He knows they already find you both lacking. Their ideal of white picket fences with a spouse and two children, with the only variant being what pet you own, doesn’t match the lines you have drawn around as your framework. And yet you stand, head high, knowing you are your own ideal. It is like looking at a river breaking the bonds others would have forced on it — magnificent, leaving him hungry for any scrape of attention you would throw at him. A shriek of delight recalls his attention to the children, even as he strains to hear the nectar that drips from your lips.

"Yes, my sister bought the condo next to me. Rin is the kid's name. I'm watching them today. Yes, my sister will be wanting to join the Facebook group. No, I still don't have a Facebook and won't be joining." Your voice is clipped against the torrent of questions.

Finally, you get away from them and come sit next to him. He can feel the blush rising to his face.

"God, they’re catty. I almost thought they were going to try and eat my heart." Reiner chuckles at this. "I'm Y/N. And you?"

"Reiner Braun."

"Which one is yours?"

"The one with dark brown hair leading the group. Her name is Gabi."

"Cute. Not even five and already a leader."

"Six, actually."

"So close."

"Not in her eyes."

"No, you’re right. Never in the eyes of the child is ‘close’ good enough when it comes to their age and how they wish to be treated." Reiner lifts an eyebrow. "Rin has to say their exact age down to the day and expects everyone else to do the same. But they also desire to be given the same respect as a child twice their age." You pause, eyes wandering the outlines of him. "Househusband?"

"No, our tale is a bit more tragic. She was my brother's child, but our family is... Our family is gone." His voice is ice numb, with the passage of time scabbing over those wounds. Yet he hears you suck in broken air at the revelation.

"I'm sorry to ask."

"I'm not. She changed my life for the better, even if it came with heartache."

"You don't look like a philosopher, Reiner Braun, but you talk like one."

"Oh, do I?"

"Just a bit." You offer him a small smile and it is a sunbeam through the rain.

The conversation is molasses, honey-sweet and slow, an amber spyglass that sharpens and colors in the lines you both have drawn around yourselves. He learns about what you call a sedentary life of living and working from home, broken up with family events and vacations. But it is a life you love, even in solitude. The way your eyes glow with each spilled word has his heart skipping like the children you both watch in between shy glances made of the spun sugar of new yearning.

You learn about Reiner's struggle with being thrust into his guardianship soon after his return home from war. His struggle to find a job that would allow him to be there for Gabi. The path that eventually led him to be a building inspector. He can feel the words rise from places within him that are both featherlight yet suck at his soul like tar. This time, his glance is rewarded with your eyes locked on his, your lip caught in your teeth.

"I know I should say thank you for your service, but your eyes look so haunted." There is compassion written in your eyes that says more than a thousand speeches about the honor he should feel from being a soldier, about doing his country proud. It's overwhelming, so he looks away, afraid to break at this lightest touch of tenderness.

Far too soon, the sky begins its slow turn to dusk. Far too soon, it is just Gabi and Rin running around. Far too soon, you both are the only ones left, yet there is no move to leave. It is comfortable, sitting together as the children run. As if it is a comfortable silence built by months and years of understanding and not just moments and hours.

"It's getting late, but I don't want to say goodbye." Your voice is whisper soft.

"Then don't. You’re both welcome to come over for dinner." His boldness is a surprise, even as he waits with bated breath for your answer. The words begin to slip from your smiling lips.

A discordant, jarring noise fills the air, making you both jump in fright before turning to nervous laughter. You hold up your phone, wincing as you see the name across the screen — a reminder of something previously forgotten.

"Hey, sis."

"What do you mean, ‘Hey, sis’? Where is Rin? I've been texting you for the past ten minutes and haven't heard anything back. Are you guys okay?" Pulling the phone away from your ear as the person on the other end shouts, Reiner grimaces in sympathy.

"Yeah, sorry, Rin is fine. We’ve been having lots of fun at the park. They made a friend."

The voice on the other end goes soft after your apology, so much so that he can't hear it. Not that he should have been listening to your conversation. He turns to face the children, watching them laugh as they go down a slide, tangled together. The blinding brilliance of childhood friendships made in innocence.

"Sorry, Rin was supposed to be home by now. Raincheck?" You offer a small smile in apology.

"Of course." He recites to you his phone number before turning to the children. "Gabi! Rin! Time!" His voice is loud enough to carry but not a shout, never a yell in anger. The two children pop up like weasels before scrambling over.

Rin holds on to Gabi's hand and won't let go. Gabi, too, has a determined look about her that he has seen for so long yet it still affects him, filling him with pride over how fierce she is.

"No. I want to keep playing with Rin. Can they sleep over?" Her voice is the high-pitched whistle of a fire in the clouds. Until you get down to their level, a serenity about you like the sea.

"I promise, you and Rin can play again really soon. Rin is moving here next month. But I'll try and get Rin down here again before then, okay?"

"Okay," She grumbles, the two dropping their interlocked hands. Rin wrapping their arms about your neck, head tucked against your shoulder.

Cooing to the child, you give Reiner one final smile before leaving.

"I'll text you later, Reiner." How you say his name has him weak-kneed. He wants to hear it again, bottle the sound and use it to fuel this newfound addiction. So lost in his name written in your voice, he stands rock still as you walk away.

"Dad?" Gabi tugs at him, her small hand hardly wrapping around his first couple of fingers.

Shaking off the spell of your voice he turns to her, kneeling himself. "Yeah, sweetie?"

"What's for dinner?"

"How about breakfast?" he asks, grunting softly as he picks her up with one arm, the other grabbing the backpack.

"Can I have waffles with whipped cream?"

"Sure, if you ask nicely."

"Please, Dad!" she squeals in delight.

"I'll get it ready. Why don't you go take a bath and get in your PJs?" Setting her down to open up the back gate, he holds it open for her before locking it once he is through.

"Okay!" Hardly remembering to take off her boots and coat, she is running up the stairs, unable to contain her energy and excitement. Reiner smiles at this blessing he has been given. A tree growing again after a fire, healing from its damage.

Reiner has learned the relaxation his mother taught him was in cooking, in feeding those you love with creations of your hands. He remembers her soft songs in a language he cast off. He hums them now, the words long lost to the decay of time. Soon the smell of waffles and eggs fills the small kitchen. Behind him, on the chair where he left his coat, his phone dings loudly once, twice. Work probably, some contractor asking him for the punch list. So he ignores it in favor of not burning their dinner.

Gabi babbles her thanks in between half-chewed bites of whipped cream mixed with syrup dribbling down her chin. Reiner tries to remind her to chew her food, which she apologizes for as more slips down her face, causing him to sigh. When she is satisfied, he sits her on the kitchen counter with gentle hands and cleans her face. How these hands have changed, but still, a scar across his palm catches at the soft skin. These hands are still marked with cracked skin, knuckles with fresh blood that slides down the back of them. He prays she never sees the ache of the bleeding wounds.

Gabi uses the last bit of her energy, squirming under the wet cloth before collapsing against his chest. In the soft silence of their home, he avoids the one stair that creaks before helping her brush her teeth and braid her hair to sleep. Her eyes have gone glassy, hands grabbing around his neck, soft breath against him. She is a gift he never would have deemed himself worthy to have. Already asleep, he tucks her in bed before kissing her forehead. Satisfied with checking that the window is locked, he turns the combination night light music player on before he leaves.

This new life is made of cotton, a cushion against the harsh turning of the times. Looking at the small mess in the kitchen, Reiner remembers his phone going off and puts off the latter in favor of just checking. Surprised delight works a smile up to his face as he sees a new number flash across his screen.

Rin's home safe. Wouldn't stop talking about Gabi and how much they love her. Had to admit, I thought her father was pretty neat. Is the dinner invitation still available if it’s just me?

Of course! Oh, I just looked at the time. Sorry for the late reply. If you want to come over, you’re welcome, but I don't want to disrupt your evening.

You're fine. I figured you were taking care of Gabi. How is she?

Sleeping like a log after playing with Rin. Thank you for letting me know you both are safe. I have to admit, I think you're pretty neat, too.

I'm glad we agree. I can be there in a couple of minutes. I'm back home now.

I'll have a plate of waffles ready for you.

Reiner sets down the phone before looking to make sure that it's only a messy kitchen he has to worry about. Satisfied that it looks decent, he finds no toys left on the floor like landmines. In the small kitchen, he sets up a plate. There is excitement trembling in his hands at the thought of seeing you again in the near dark. What sides will he see from this new angle?

But there is worry weighing on his shoulders, wondering how will you see him? The darkness is a theater screen that plays out the harshest memories of our past. Will the shadows that line his face be too much? Will you see the cracked skin and turn away, squeamish at the sight of blood? His thoughts are quicksand and cold rain, draining even as his breath speeds up.

He has already been given a new direction and blessing in his life with Gabi. Is there the possibility of the hope that he might be blessed with love? Someone who will hold his hand as he continues to bandage the cracks and seal them together? His chest heaves at the strain of racing thoughts, even as he is still blocking out the world lost in the mire. The crack of a stone on wood startles him.

The soldier he has restrained for years rises within, ready to fight to protect the life that sleeps peacefully above. He is quick to rush outside, only to hear giggling. Confusion twists around his head like a halo, the soldier retreating to the corner of his soul where he forces them to find peace. He finds you smiling, another small rock in your hand which is quickly dropped. With a look of false innocence fighting against an overwhelming smile, he can feel his own smile forming in response.

"I wonder who could be throwing rocks at this hour?" He looks around ready to see how far you will take this act.

"Must be a delinquent punk or a ghost."

"Well then, my chivalry demands I let you in, at the very least, to keep you safe."

Your hand coming up to pat against his chest has his head spinning, the lingering heat blooming and unfurling like vines, pulling his cracked edges back together. He hardly remembers the plate he had fixed for you. He cracks open two sour orange beers that he hopes pair well with the sickly sweet of the whipped cream and syrup. He sips at his can while you eat, your content moan at the food nearly setting him on fire. The dark clouds of his earlier thoughts change to different desires.

Those thoughts stay and linger after you set down your plate, thanking him. They rage when you move closer to him. The purse of your lips as you sip at the beer. How your eyes linger on his face before turning back to the sky. The stars that once looked so cold now point out the lights in the dark. Those lights dance across your skin, and he knows you are another light in the dark, calling to him — a blessing he feels unworthy to touch as you pull his arm around your shoulders, leaning into the warmth of his chest. He keeps his vision trained on you, drinking in your soft light. He pulls you closer, until you’re squished against him.

It’s a picture and a movie he will treasure in his heart, the soft exhale of your breath across his chest causing shockwaves. He thinks about leaning down and kissing the crest of your hair. Tensing to ask if he can, the first drops of rain hit. It’s a deluge in a moment, soaking you both as he lifts you into his arms to carry you to the warm safety of the living room.

"Wait, Reiner!" Your laughing hand against his face pulls his attention to your eyes. "Let's dance — please." Your voice is a whispering beg, and he would fall on his knees to hear that sound again.

Reiner is careful in how he sets you down, steadying hands against your waist. Your own hands wrap over his to guide them. The cold rain is nothing against the heat in his chest as he twirls you in the downpour. If happiness were a sound, it would be your laugh and sigh. The gasp you make when he picks you up and dips you back is a benediction. Your hands travel the path of his shoulder and waist to cup his face, pulling him again to your rainwater-soft lips, warm breath against his before the movement is sealed.

When you pull back to breathe, he catches your lower lip in his teeth, finding he finally can breathe. Your arms loop around his neck as you pull in closer to him. His arms lower to your thighs, pulling you up. He starts walking into the condo. Soon, your back is against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist. His heart is beating hard when he finally pulls back, pressing his forehead against yours and pressing a soft kiss to it.

"If this is too fast, tell me to stop." His voice is shaking with desire.

"But we both need to get out of these wet clothes." You nip at his lip, pulling him back into a kiss that quickly turns deep, his tongue scraping across teeth, the taste of beer and waffles lingering in your mouth.

Laughter bubbles soft in pressed-together chests. Soaked shirts and pants abandoned on the floor. Warm kisses press against cold exposed skin. He moves to your neck, placing kisses there. When you tug on his hair, he growls softly before nipping at the skin and moving back to your lips. Again, he is carrying something precious in his arms as he climbs the stairs. Again, he steps over the one that creaks, walks down the other side of the hall until he is pressing you against his bed.

Heat crackles, electricity flowing like circuits finally connecting at last. Soft thighs rub against his own. Nails scrape down his chest and back until he is keening. The heavy weight between his legs presses against yielding hips. The last of the soaked clothing is stripped away, cast off into the darkness. Moonlight plays across your skin, making him swear you have been sent from the stars to guide him home.

"Dad!"

He pulls away quickly, a groan leaving you both. He places a soft kiss on your stomach before trying to find some sweatpants, calling back that he will be there in a second. Looking back, you are smirking, swaddled in the thick duvet, finger pressed against your lips even as your eyes travel the length of him. Padding out and closing the door behind him, Reiner shakes his head at this sweet, tormenting twist of fate.

"Gabi?"

"Down here!" He turns, going down to the living room.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"I was thirsty, so I was getting some water. I came down and saw the clothes on the floor." He can just make out the confusion across her face.

“Oh, I was outside and got caught in the rain, so I took them off as soon as I came in." His body flushes with embarrassment.

"Okay, but why are there two pants on the floor? Are you having a sleepover?"

"You know, I think it's time you go back to bed. Did you get your water?" His voice is cracking, mind spinning, eyes widening with horror as his breath speeds up.

"You are having a sleepover! Can I come join?"

"Gabi! No!" He is too quick, too loud, fear making him desperate.

"Why not?" She is pouting.

"Because." He pauses. "They’re already asleep and I don't want to wake them up."

"Oh, okay. Wait, why do you get to have a sleepover and I don't?"

"Come on, back to bed with you. I'll explain in the morning." He hopes for once she will be too tired and leave it alone.

"Fine." The sigh of relief cascades through his whole body.

Gabi, with a glass of water in her hand, trudges back up the stairs, little legs making her step on the creaking one. He really should fix it. Reiner grabs the clothes and goes back to his room, caught between shock and hysterical laughter, wondering if you heard all that transpired. He hopes to find you laughing. To press against you again, happiness wrapping around you both. To lose himself in your embrace. Instead, he finds you have pilfered one of his shirts and are curled up in his bed, asleep. Not having the heart to wake you, he goes to hang the clothes up in the attached bathroom’s shower so they can dry. Coming back, he leans down to kiss the space behind your ear, enjoying the mewl you let out from the contact.

"Hey, do you want to bed to yourself?"

"No — cuddles." Your arms are already grabbing for him. "Maybe I'll wake back up so we can continue."

"Don’t worry about that. Let yourself sleep. I'll still be here tomorrow,” he mummers against sleep-warm skin as he tucks you two together, bodies nestled together like puzzle pieces. Already, you are drifting back to sleep, face pressed against his chest, arms and legs tangling with his. A sob claws its way around his chest. Questions of why he was blessed and saved with first Gabi and now your brilliance in his life. How you feel like a permanent fixture, even within only hours.

He can feel sleep tugging at him, but still, his thoughts slip out. "Is it strange that I can already see us as a family?"

"No — not if I say yes." The words press themselves deeper into his skin, until they sink to his heart, a new bandage forming over the cracks.

His breath catches before he pulls you closer, lips pressing kisses into your hair.

That night, when he dreams, he doesn't see a mother's tears. But he remembers. When he came home with some groceries he had gotten for doing some work for a neighbor, and how his mother patted his head and told him he would be an amazing husband and father one day.

Reiner notices the next morning that his skin is healing, scars becoming thick with scales like armor. His role as father fits him far better than before, his hand having found yours.

#meet cute collab #attack on titan #aot #aot reiner #aot x you #snk x reader #snk reiner #snk #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner fluff #attack on titan reiner #shingeki no kyojin

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arllenn · 3 years

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Hey there, I rarely check on Tumblr nowadays due to work and stuff but I've played Dragon Raja for a while now so if it's not too troubling, I would like to request a fic of MC giving Osho and the others a well deserved verbal smack down during the final showdown (the MC didn't blame the Gen siblings for what happened to them and managed to save Erii from Osho). Bonus if MC cut ties from everyone after the mission... Sorry, I'm a huge fan of angst.

Tags for this chapter: angst, violence, all bitter no sweet, respawn system gets abused for angst Tw: cannon typical violence, graphic-ish descriptions of death, blood, suicidal thoughts and almost actions, wounds and the like

You’re clutching yourself as you shake knees getting weaker by the second, hiccuping and heaving the flood of tears that decorates both your face and the street under you with the weight of your emotions are the only constant for you. You’re drowning in your own emotions, phantom pains of all of your recent deaths and revivals clawing at you demanding your attention, demanding your time. You’re hugging yourself trying to mimic the comforting action that you remember from your childhood. “Why isn’t it working.” You choke out sobbing harder as you grip your arms. It’s too tight yet not tight enough, your limbs responding to your pleas is a sign that you’re still alive yes, but, but this is, this isn’t what you want.... this isn’t what you want at all. Your nails are far sharper than you remember them they tore through the flesh of your arms lightly. You could feel Herzog’s claws ripping through your flesh as well, everything hurt, you want to go home, you want to go home, you want to go home.....

But you can’t. Everyone was dead, at one point Caesar had said that Black Swan Bay had sunken, so the actual land was probably gone too, nothing left to remember that place but you Zero and Z. God you wanted to see them right now, the area on your head that he had patted earlier seemed warm giving you a small amount of comfort but also dealing even more damage to your psyche. You wanted to go back to those warm days in your childhood when none of this was known to you. When you weren't running around matchmaking and doing everyone else's work while also getting nothing in return, not a thanks, not even a small indirect amount of appreciation or encouragement. Your legs buckled under you your arms reching out as if to grab onto something to stop you from falling. Your knees met with the ground violently scraping at the skin there. You can't breathe, you can't breathe, youcantbreatheyoucantbreatheyoucantbreatheyoucantbreathe, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts, why is he doing this to you didn't he love you? That man, Herzog, had raised you. You had spent so much time at that orphanage, you were so happy. So why. whywhywhywhywhyhwhywhy. You recalled warm winter nights spent in front of the fireplace curled up with Zero on one side and Z on the other.

You remembered one day specifically. Back then you lot were young, so, so, so, young. You chuckled choking on your tears, that day Z and you had spent a solid hour arguing over who would run over to get Zero, that day it had started raining, then the rain had turned to hail mid hide and seek game. Z had found you moments before the storm started. You two ended up huddled under the ice bridge. The orphanage in sight but seeming miles away due to the storm. Zero had been caught first and had gone back to the courtyard as per the rules so she was probably fine. You needed one of you to go and get her so that she could bring back an umbrella for the other. Then you had heard it, the sound of thunder wolves nearby. Then Z, with no hesitation had, scooped you up put your head under one of the flaps or his jacket and ran back to the cottages. All while you could hear the heavy ‘thunk thunk thunk’ of wolf paws behind you. Looking back on it now those wolves were probably the result of Herzog’s experiments and not a naturally occurring species. The souring of your childhood memory made bile rise in your throat, the thought of looking at your early life through that lens rather than just christmas day made you want to scream. Z and Zero were so different from your seniors. If you had been with any of them back then you knew for a fact that they would’ve sent you to deal with the wolves, only coming in when you were a hairs breath away from dying.

But that hadn’t save you before, you can’t count how many times you’ve died sense meeting them. From your flesh being torn from your bones by death servitors to bleeding out in some nameless alleyway after being shot by hydra’s soldiers. You had also drowned at one point, that death had been the worst. You remembered clawing at the water begging for the chance to live once again, you remembered feeling your legs tear off after the submarine had exploded, you remembered reaching your mangled arms out, out, out towards the light that came from the surface of the water. You remember feeling the water force itself down your throat and into your lungs, it burns, it hurts, it burns, it hurts. You had been seeing flashes of reality as well as the last time you ended up in cold waters like those. It didn’t matter because in the end you had died. It never matters how hard you try, how many times you die, because you always end up failing.

You lay on the sidewalk screaming, there was no one nearby nor anything that you could hear other than the pounding of rain on the sidewalk and your own sobbing. Your hand burned with the new blood that flowed inside you. Your mind burned with the scars of the past that it never got to address, your heart burned with the open wounds this mission had left you with. You wanted to die right here, sink away into nothingness. Stay in the room with the grand piano and flowing waters. No one could bother you there, no one could make you do meaningless tasks without your say, there was no matchmaking, no pointless errands, no suicide missions, there was nobody but yourself there, just you, just you. Luminous wouldn’t be there to make you do his work, he wouldn’t be there swearing to be by your side to help you while simultaneously doing nothing at best and dragging you down at worst. There wouldn’t be a Caesar there to send you on every reconnaissance mission with no backup and no direction. Johann wouldn’t be there to demand information on your past like he had even earned the right to know it, like he didn’t need to earn that right because it should just be given to him. Just you in a place where no one could hurt you.

You looked up from the ground that you had been staring at, bringing your hands up to your neck you squeezed. It wouldn’t work in terms of killing you, you knew that, but it worked as an easy substitute, feeling the pressure of your own hands on your neck, the shortness if not complete lack of breath, the light headed feeling, it served as a less drastic solution for now.

“It’s great to see you all safe and sound!” Eva’s voice cut through the momentary peace that you had found, your hands reflexively letting go of your neck.

“Safe and sound?!” You repeated in disbelief, “What part of any of me seems to be safe and sound?” It felt like she was mocking you. The memories of Herzog’s claws slicing through your spine, through every part of you, flashed then the words ‘It’s great to see you all safe and sound!’ Played over them, those words were the last thing you wanted to hear right now. Why,why,why,why,why is your pain always ignored like this? Why is it always your job to make everything right? You can’t do this anymore! You won’t do this anymore.

Bringing your fist up you smashed at your communicator, “Cassell- will...turn th-this into- into no-nothing more th-th-th-then a dream for every- every- everyone” Eva’s voice though distorted still managed to snake its way out of the thing despite all the damage you had done to it.

"AGH, SHUT UP!" You yell slamming your fist down harder and harder, each time screaming, begging for her to "JUST SHUT UP" You're crying even harder now. The glass that made up the outer layer of the screen. The rest of her words came out broken and jumbled, and even if they hadn't been due to the damage your screaming and shouting would've drowned it out anyways. "STOP. TALKING. JUST. SHUT. UP."

"Caesar helping you to-to-to destroy- criminal underworld.... true story- believe." Your fist paused midair at those words. Caesar had helped to destroy the criminal underworld? That was the story that they were going with? Not even the whole team, just Caesar what kind of absolute bullshit was that. You had done 100 times more then the supposed hero of the story, hell Luminous had done more, fucking Erii had done more. So where did they get off on this- this- you didn't even have a word for it it was so stupid, so stupidly infuriating. Herzog had said that the people from Cassell had experimented on you, and while he wasn't one to be trusted you sure do feel so fucking dumb for defending them. At least Herzog had the common decency to put up an air of kindness. These people just treated you like a convenient tool, something to be used and dealt with as they pleased. Something that didn't need thanks or praise or a break because it was an object meant to be used and thrown away as they saw fit. "Re-re-re-return to takamagahara to say-say-say-say-saysay goodbye-bye-bye to-" Your fist swung down with overwhelming strength shattering the communicator completely. Broken pieces of metal and glass embedded themselves in your hand bringing a fiery pain that slowly destroyed all of you in its wake. You fell even further onto the concrete clutching your hands one in the other relishing a bit sickly in the pain that it brought. Your right palm glowed with the same light it first had when you had accepted Erii's blood. Then it started rejecting the pieces of metal and glass in both of your hands. Slowly pushing them out and healing the cuts instantly once they were out.

Chuckling you flipped over your hands looking at both perfectly healed sides. It was like you had never been hurt in the first place. You marvled at them, twisting them over and over again, bringing them to your neck once again you smiled and closed your eyes. You had no idea what you were. Had you always been like this? An undying freak with special powers? Had Herzog's experiments done this to you? It was obvious that your new healing ability came from Erii's and the light king's combined blood but what about everything else? Had you been born this way? Was it Herzog's half baked evolution pills? Had Cassell truly experimented on you? Z said you had the capability to become a dragon lord now, but what did that mean? What did that make you? Your chuckles turned into full of peels of laughter, your cheeks stinging at the feeling of both the semi dried tear tracks being pulled at as well as the force of your laughter. The peels of laughter soon mixed with pained sobs and you were once again back to crying. You weren't going to put up with this anymore. Dropping your hands you slowly stood up like a puppet on strings. Walking at a slow pace one second in between each step you started walking.

----------------

Anjou is in one of the VIP rooms with a man dressed like a pastor. You don't care what they're talking about, stepping in front of the pastor you look over at him. He takes steps back on his own, unprompted, it's a first but then again you suppose that you probably look like the walking dead, and in a way you were, not to mention that you also felt like it. A lukewarm apathetic haze settled over your emotions as you looked down at Anjou. He's the second person you met after waking up, he's the whole reason you, a freshman at his wacky school that you hadn't even been asked if you wanted to join, were on this mission. How stupid is he? He had sent you, a person who had what he described as 'little control' over your extra skill and who had just woken up after a freeze bath in Siberia on this mission, an SS ranked one that he was hesitant to even send his best students on already. So why had he chosen you? Why did you have to die over and over for a cause you didn't understand and people you don't know. "Freshman." he nodded as though prompting you to speak. He never broke eye contact or even showed any emotions other than a laid back and relaxed expression. It pisses you off. Why is this old dingbat relaxing, kicking back and enjoying his time while your'e such a mess? He gestures for the priest to leave and he does. Leaning forward elbows on his knees he looks you up and down before going back to making eye contact. "What has you so worked up?"

You want to cry, its the closest you've gotten to an 'are you ok' sense waking up but at the same time you wanted no part of a wellness check led by the man in front of you. "Herzog said that Cassell College experimented on me. Is that true?" You can almost make out a hint of surprise in his eyes before he starts laughing. You bight your lips pulling them into your mouth in a desperate attempt to hold back your anger wanting to get your answer first before you rip him a new one.

"Goodness no, why would you ever believe anything that old snake had to say, and here I thought you were a once in a decade genius. I suppose that title still belongs to Johann then." You ball your hands into fists. Its more than obvious that he's making light of the situation. Didn't he know that you had been raised in Black Swan Bay? Didn't he know that Herzog, a man who you had trusted, had experimented on you? Is he incapable of connecting the dots between your trauma and your current situation combined with Herzog's words? No he did know, he knew and he still chose to make light of everything you had gone through. Insinuating if not blatantly saying that you were an idiot for believing that what happened to you once could happen again. Slamming your hand down on the table you levied on him the worst glare you could, the burning behind your eyes letting you know that you probably looked less menacing then you wanted to.

"Where the fuck do you get off saying something like that to me." It's phrased as a question but its really not. It's a challenge for Anjou to defend his words, one he unfortunately takes you up on.

"I understand that this whole mission and especially today has been taxing on your team but that doesn't mean you should and can snap at everyone like that freshman. Take sometime to cool off, go outside and talk to your seniors, hopefully they'll be able to reach you in ways I cannot." He's getting up to leave after his mini lecture, essentially passing you off to be someone else's problem but you wont let him leave that easily. Your hand grabs onto his forearm stopping him in his tracks. For a millisecond you consider punching him. Beating him over the head with one of the glasses on the table, but the part of your brain that still, despite everything, says that you ca't do that to him because he had pulled you out of Siberia's ice who knows how long ago says not to. And it wins.

"I'm not going to apologize for my language-" He cuts you off with a tut of his tongue, now you have no regrets for the words you planned on saying next. Letting go of his arm you continued. "I'm entitled to be angry when an asshole says asshole things. And I'm allowed to curse said asshole out however much I want." You step in front of the exit crossing your arms, you catch a momentary glimpse of your face in one of the metal outlinings of the wall as you do. You truly do look dead, eyes lifeless and lightless, face twisted into a painfully weak version of the you that you wanted to portray. You know that in this position you run the risk of your conversation leaking out of the room but honestly you don't care, like at all. At this point you want to just scream and cry your emotions out. But you can't because you don't want to, you don't want to be any weaker in front of anyone than you already are.

"Freshman-"

"I was raised by Dr. Herzog for so so many years and the whole time he was experimenting on me and everyone I knew. And-and-and you expect me to just trust you when you say that you didn't do anything. You expect me to rule that out as a possibility when you've given me no reason to, not in terms of character or proof. So why would you say that me believing that random strangers who I've known for less then a month and who I, if I'm being honest don't trust, experimenting on me is a dumb fear?" You clutch at your heart bunching up the cloth that protects it. "I just- do you see why thats dumb? Do you see why it makes no sense to me? One day I'm celebrating christmas as normal with my friends the next minute I'm smacked in the face with the fact that the man that I considered a father," you gag a bit on the word, "has been experimenting on me and everyone that I love, that he's been killing all of us as soon as we turn 18 because we wont survive to 22 because of his experiments? Finding out that he thought of us, children he had been raising for years as nothing more then science experiments who had outlived their uses. Do you have any idea how much that fucking hurt? I had to watch everyone die around me while I wasn't able to do anything! Zero even sacrificed her life to save me and I still ended up dying so many times anyways." You're clutching at yourself again, seeking comfort in the only arms that you can trust right now, your own. You're glaring down at the floor trying to blink the tears away. It doesn't work. You're basically two steps away from dry heaving and sobbing. Anjou reaches out his hand, most likely to guide you to sit down but you slap it away. "Don't fucking touch me. You sent me, a freshman who hadn't really even enrolled in your school or been given the choice to do so on a suicide mission with other students and no adult supervision from the college itself. I've died so many times sense waking up. It always hurts, it's never been painless, I've never been thanked and yet you expect me to just what- put my blind trust into you? I spent more time around Chime then I did you and he spent half of the time as Ruri Kazama."

'"Freshman you're hyperventilating you need to calm down."

"I WONT CALM DOWN" You're yelling now, its not the same kind of painful shouting that you had done earlier on the street, this is loud as well yes, but its from a frustrated sadness rather than a devastated anger. "Why did it have to be me? Weren't there other students you could've sent? Adults? Why did it have to be me? You had no reason to trust that I wouldn't kill the others. I had justwoken up and you decided that I was your best choice? You didn't tell me anything you just threw terms out and expected me to understand. You didn't even give me time alone to breathe let alone ask questions." Your chest is tight, you can feel each of your deaths, piercing pain of claws slicing through flesh, the burning heat of bullets, the singeing of fire, being torn to pieces. You can feel it all and it all hurts so much. You want it to stop, you need it to stop. You don't want to hear these people talk like they're your friends like they care anymore. It's all too much, you're almost sobbing now, curling in on yourself to try and mitigate any pain that may come.

"Newbie whats-"

You turn eyes catching onto Caesar, Johann, Luminous and Finger standing behind you. When did they get here, how much did they hear. It burns and it burns devouring everything in sight. All the memories that you have with them that you've been trying to view in a happy light, all of them crumble to the ground in front of you the moment you see them. "SHUT UP, USE MY NAME FOR ONCE WILL YOU?! NEWBIE DO THIS, FRESHMAN DO THAT, YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN ONCE USED MY NAME!" Full on sobbing you bulldoze through every thought that comes to mind yelling them out at the people surrounding you. "YOU'VE NEVER ONCE ASKED ME IF I WAS OK. YOU;VE NEVER ONCE SENT ANYONE WITH ME WHEN YOU SEND ME ON THOSE STUPID SUICIDE MISSIONS. I'M A FRESHMAN A NEWBIE YOU HAD NO REASON TO TRUST ME WITH ANY OF THIS. WHAT WOU;LD'VE HAPPENED IF I HAD DIED AND STAYED DEAD? WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF I HAD BEEN CAPTURED? WHAT THEN?" You clutch onto yourself harder, seeking even the smallest bit of comfort from the feeling. Your voice has lowered in volume, you no longer have the emotional or physical strength to do anything other than keep your voice above a whisper. "Do you lot remember when Ruri had specifically said that even two of us couldn't handle Herzog alone? And yet you still thought that it would be a good idea to send me up alone, acting like you were tough for taking care of the death servitors at the entrance." You sigh, there are so many other examples you could go through but you also don't want to be here any longer. "What about you Luminous? I get that you had to watch Erii, but making me do everything and anything you could think of by myself while knowing that Johann and Caesar were constantly sending me on missions as well? You even complained that I took too long to do things. Maybe if you did something for yourself for once instead of just saying that you will then running away and hiding like a coward these things wouldn't happen. Maybe then Erii, Chisei and Chime would still be alive and I wouldn't have to deal with- with this fucking guilt!"

"Look I'm sorry about the Erii thing but listen, we had no idea you were feeling like this. You should've come to us-" Finger is trying to mediate, trying to comfort you, but it only makes things worse.

"And how could I have," You croak out, "How could I have trusted that you would listen, that I would get a break? You never even presented the option for me to have any kind of choice in how I carried out my missions let alone not do them at all. I had nothing I still have nothing. I'm presumed dead at best and no longer exist at worst in terms of my original legal documents. And even if I had access to them I'm still 20 years younger then I'm supposed to be." With a watery chuckle you continue, "Even if I did tell you if I was thrown away I wouldn't have any papers to do anything, to get a job, to live a life, I'm completely reliant on the college for everything. Not to mention the fact that I know nothing about the world. If Cassell had deemed me" You shudder at the word "a failure, then I would've had nothing, not information on the world at current, not even an identity." You shake your head walking in between them and towards the exit. "I don't care I'm not doing this anymore. Find some other freshman to be you dog."

You walked out and onto the streets of Tokyo. You glanced back once lamenting the fact that you hadn't gotten to say goodbye to Zero. You turned away glancing in the direction of the convenience store that Luminous would always make you go to to buy Erii's milk. You trudged down the streets of Tokyo back to that place. Hopefully you can buy paper and a pen to leave her a note with what little money you have.

The bell on the store door jingled when you opened it. The man was standing behind the counter as he always was. You're experience with father figures have been lack luster this far but you've always thought that this man gave off the air of one. It made you relax, seeing someone that while familiar wasn't from the orphanage or Cassell. He looked up at you wearing that same smile that he always did. You knew it wasn't for you specifically but rather something that he probably gave all of his costumers but still it made you feel a bit warm inside.

"Hey kiddo you look a bit rough, everything ok?" You take a few steps forward and nod a bit

"I think it will be now. Or at least I hope so." He hums and nods his head at your answer deciding not to pry, a decision you appreciate.

"So then you here for the usual?" You look back at him and glance around the store, you don't see paper or pens of any sort. It's a bit of a let down but you suppose asking wouldn't hurt.

"Ah no actually," Your voice is still raw, and a bit choked up from all the crying and yelling that you did earlier, you hope you don't sound weird." "Do you sell like, um... paper and pens or something like that? I want to write a note to a friend before I leave."

He scratches at his chin mumbling under his breath as he thinks for a few seconds before getting up and going around the store coming back with a bottle of warm milk in hand. He then returns to his spot behind the counter pulling a note pad and pen out from under it. He places the milk next to the writing utensils and pushes them towards you. "Here, milks on the house, I don't sell paper or anything but feel free to use that and leave the note with me. I'll give it to your friend."

You give him a small smile. It's all that you can manage right now. Your eyes burn with tears again. "Thanks, my friends name is Zero she's blonde has blue eyes and is about," you place your hand were Zero's head is about as accurately as you can, "This tall. She has a flat affect and seems kinda emotionless but she really is a sweet girl. Um, her hairs long and she has a big black bow tying it back." The man nods his head repeating your description back to you. After gaining conformation he sticks his thumb up and takes the letter from you promising to hand it to her the moment she walks through the doors of his shop. You thank him one last time and promise to come back there if you're ever in trouble before leaving.

As you walk through Tokyo's streets aimlessly, you repeat the words in your letter, speaking them into the rain. "I hope that we can meet again in a more peaceful time, preferably away from the bay and Cassell as I don't have the best impression of them. With lots of love, your best friend..." You laugh a bit, your words were supposed to be a parody of what Z said to you. You think its fitting for a farewell letter.

You meld into the raindrops after looking back one last time.

#me when respawn #dragon raja #dragon raja mc #caesar gattuso #johann chu #luminous lu #finger von frings #fanfic #writing #major character death #but they dont stay dead #its just alluded to #angst #hurt no comfort

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lizacstuff · 3 years

Note

Your thoughts on the first episode of the new season? And can we talk about all those parallels? Also I'm loving the summer vibes!

I'm LIVING for the summer vibes! Doesn't everything feel like a breath of fresh air? I definitely feel like new life has been injected into the series. And that new location is so beautiful, I LOVE IT.

As for the episode, I thought it was masterfully done. You could tell Ayse was back and bringing the perfect mix of comedy, romance and drama. And the sparkle! The show sparkles again. The almost two and half hours flew buy, I was on the edge of my seat, and the performances from Hande and Kerem were amazing. Plus I just adore every moment between Serkan and his new nemesis (aka his secret daughter).

On the sober side, I don't care how jerky Serkan got while battling cancer, or how he may have pushed her away, nothing they've shown us so far even begins to justify Eda not telling him about Kiraz, and it certainly doesn't justify her continuing to lie when he's standing right in front of her making overtures (and her daughter is clearly longing for her father). Obviously, there are still many things we don't know and I'm sure there are many flashbacks to come, and Eda has been though so much, but still...I don't see how they will thread that needle and have Eda come out unscathed.

That being said, with this first episode they executed this story so well and it really does give new life to the series, so I won't dwell on the fact that Eda never would have done this. Never. We just have to move past it, accept that it's a soap opera plot device designed to give us an amazing second season packed with all sorts of amazing scenes and just enjoy every minute while it lasts.

(More under the cut)

I'll get to more on Edser later, as for everyone else... silliness abounds.

First... Erdem cheated on Leyla? WHAT!?!?! With whom? But I guess that was a clean way to explain Leyla leaving.

Engin and Piril, I love that Engin is staying home with their son, and that young actor is a cutie! As for Piril... GRRRRRR... she is still on my shitlist. Last time it was for betraying Eda (and Serkan) by enabling Selin's reign of terror, this time it's by betraying her friend and business partner Serkan! Good grief. If Piril just found out recently at the start of this project I could accept on her holding off because it's not her secret to run off and tell, but what I can't accept is her actively working against Serkan finding out. Even if in this episode she had gently said to Eda... "do you think maybe it's time you told him?" it would be a lot easier to swallow... but nope! She's acting like it would be the end of the world if Serkan found out. I sincerely hope that when everyone finds out and Engin finds out Piril knew, it causes problems between them. She deserves that.

She remains my second least favorite character. Who was my least favorite character this episode? Oh you know! Awful Ayfer is back! We got a reprieve from her in the last arc, but she's back to her annoying, controlling, Serkan-hating ways. Eda is a mother, an international award-winning landscape architect and business owner and she still has to lie to Ayfer because she's such a pain-in-the-ass? Watching her is going to be a trial.

Even though it feels like both Aydan and Ayfer were reset to zero character development, and Aydan has done worse (keeping the fact that Serkan was alive from Eda) I still find her a much easier character to take. Probably because Neslihan is a much better comedic actress, so she's a lot more entertaining. But... Aydan's been with Kemal for 5 years and hasn't told Serkan? WHY? I can't believe Kemal didn't give her an ultimatum years ago. I was loving, however, Serkan being in the way for both Aydan/Kemal and Engin/Piril. GOOD. Those people caused problems for him at one point or another or were in the way, it was nice to see him return the favor. I like Kemal and am still hoping they'll do a parallel "not knowing your father thing" and reveal he's Serkan's bio dad while Serkan is finding out he had a child he never knew about.

Melo and Seyfi were their awesome supportive, funny selves. It was great to see both of them, I'm so glad they stayed.

As for the new characters, love the kids. The new hotel manager is apparently ditzy and starstruck over Serkan, and I don't really understand how she's going to be integrated into the cast, but I love that she was used as a device to show us that Serkan has zero interest in any woman who is not Eda Yildiz. Eda's assistant seems like he'll be a fine side character. As for Burak, he seems harmless, obviously he has feeling for Eda that she does not reciprocate (fuck off Ayfer trying to push her on him) but hopefully they don't make him a psycho like Deniz. I did think he was a bit out of line to Serkan. Isn't that his cafe? And a customer has his glass spilled by a child in his care, and he insults him instead of apologizing? That is the worst customer service I've ever seen! He's a character that could wear on me quickly, we shall see. Kiraz can't help but be sassy because of genetics, but some of the adults in her life seem to be modeling rude behavior!

Now on to Eda and Serkan, I can't say enough about Hande and Kerem's acting in this episode. Phenomenal! They were both brilliant. Plus both are doing a great job working off of Maya (especially Kerem) those scenes were priceless. I don't often enjoy kids on shows, but so far I'm loving this dynamic.

As for Edser, while we don't know everything yet it feels like Serkan got to a point where he couldn't stand to see Eda in pain and putting her life on hold, he outright mentioned that she might not have graduated if they'd stayed together, and so that was part of the reason he reverted to his robot self and pushed her away. I'm going to guess she tried and tried and he was just unyielding. Saying he didn't want to get married or have kids in the harshest way possible. Perhaps even she went to tell him that she was pregnant and he went off on not wanting kids before she could even tell him. Time will tell.

At this juncture, my best guess is Eda's fear is rooted in rejection. It can't be that she thinks Serkan is a terrible person that doesn't deserve to know his child, or would be detrimental to Kiraz. However, she knows what it feels like to be rejected by Serkan, I'm sure she was beyond devastated, so I'm guessing now she's bent on protecting her daughter from feeling that same rejection. She fears if he found out, but wanted nothing to do with her, it would feel worse than him not knowing. She's not thinking clearly and perhaps it hasn't even occurred to her that the man she fell in love with is still under there and that man is fully capable of opening his heart wide to their child.

The fact that this child, a stranger to him, already has him wrapped around her little finger to the tune of being late to meetings while he waits for her to pick berries, speaks volumes.

The lies that Eda is telling Kiraz though... there is a fairy tale poetry to Eda saying her father is among the stars... but there was no way this would ever end well. Such a bad idea. Eda.... has made mistakes.

As for Eda and Serkan, their reunion was so bitter sweet. The way Serkan was sure he was hallucinating her and couldn't believe she was real, speaks to the fact that his thinking he saw her that morning was not an anomaly. It must happen all the time. She's never left his thoughts in 5 years. Especially since Engin makes it clear that women throw themselves at Serkan all the time, and he never bites. That's a lot of years celebrate, pining after a love he lost through his own actions. Though it's not that surprising that he didn't pursue other women, as he's never been a character who was motivated by sex. Which makes it hilarious that during his presentation that's where his mind was at, remembering their intimate times together. Serkan Bolat is an Edasexual.

Serkan seemed to want to brush past what happened between them, how they ended, but from Eda's pain, it's clear it was gut-wrenching and tragic and that's something he's going to need to recon with in the coming episodes. But how refreshing that they actually talked! That Eda actually expressed her pain to him! Wowza, that's a change from recent episodes when they didn't even have a proper conversation after he got his memory back.

The flashback scenes were a combination of pure brilliance and pain. Just rip out my heart why don't you. Serkan's angry reactions seem very believable for someone suffering what he was going through. I think it's typical to lash out at the person closest to you. And their fear and pain, their commitment to getting him better and seeing it through... those scenes were made all the more heartbreaking knowing that they didn't make it out the other side intact.

On a lighter note, I loved how even despite their intention and best efforts to remain closed off to one another, and away from one another, they couldn't. Physically, Serkan couldn't stay away, and every time Eda was in his presence you saw her resolve slip and her start to feel that old pull towards him. The fact that Eda thinks there's any way to keep this secret and get rid of him, she must just be in full panic mode and not thinking clearly. She's never going to shake him.

Thank goodness Serkan came back and actually issued a sincere apology for what he said at coffee. He definitely owed her one, but what was extraordinary is that it showed that the growth he went through when they were together didn't regress. He was able to apologize and explain that he was angry and hurt and that's why it happened. If you remember from the first time around, saying sorry was something he was just unable to do, so this felt big to me. He's not the same robot Bolat, she left an indelible mark on him.

As for him making her present her proposal, it's really not out-of-line for the professional relationship, however, we all know he did it just so he had an excuse to be around her. That man will take any excuse, plus he likes to get a rise out of her.

The dinner scene was breathtaking. How beautiful and achingly romantic was that setting? Wowza. And what a roller coaster of emotion those scenes were. It was great to watch them talk and laugh. Who didn't swoon when he deveined her shrimp and when she gave him fries? But we had to know it wouldn't last. Eda's speech had me breathless. Serkan had that coming, it hurt but it had to happen. What a relief to see them get things out in the open. Now I hope we get to see them really talk about what happened and why. Explain yourself Serkan!

As for the next episode, I was so hopeful that the Kiraz secret would be out after the final scene, but the first fragman makes it look like that's not going to happen, at least not at the start of the episode. My fear is that if Eda outright lies to him that just makes everything worse. The longer she keeps it from him, when they're back in each other's orbits and it's clear he's not running away, it makes her more and more at fault.

In any case, it looks like we're in for some fabulous scene so I look forward to the second episode!

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sck discussion #edser discussion #sck episode discussion #sck 2x40 #edser meta #sckask #asklizac #anonymous

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ginkgomoon · 3 years

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Hello there! I hope everything is going well with you. (・∀・)

I have some questions. In CH 30 & 32 the Time Observer mentioned about the "price being too heavy/dear" & he mentioned that he never expected for Victor to choose that method to prevent the crisis. I was wondering what price is he talking about & what's "the method" he mentioned? & Victor collapsing in CH 32 was not from hitting the bullet I believe. What exactly happened there?

Also...I don't know the details but I think I saw it somewhere that Victor goes through different timelines & dimensions for 10000 years in the later part of the story...? I remember reading it in a R&S that every time he crosses a dimension he'd experience soul crushing pain... The mere thought of doing it for so long honestly made me feel traumatized. I was hoping you could give me some insights as to what exactly he was doing.

I hope I'm not bothering you with tons of questions & they made sense. Thanks a lot in advance! Have a good day! <3

Hello!!

Thank you, you too! :)

I hope I helped answered your questions here. It's quite long, so enjoy the read!

I did Victor’s Time Observer analysis and I’ll be heavily referencing that post to help answer this particular ask. Big thank you to @cheri-cheri and @ey8508 for help clarifying some of my thoughts concerning Victor this chapter! Spoilers down below! ⏱

“With great power comes great responsibility.” -The Peter Parker Principle

We all know Victor bears great power, but also with that comes great responsibility. He is the sole individual who has the will and power to alter time and space, however this develops drastic consequences to his health and to history- all for his love for MC.

Victor doesn’t care about this price- he is more concerned with whether he can prevent the death of the girl in every unpredictable future.

“The person who can save the world… is not me, but her. As for myself, I know my ending line and how much pain I can bear better than anyone. I would rather take such a risk.” -Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets

Chapter 30-6

Victor is seen to be flanked by bodyguards on Adagio Street. Moments later, in a pure white space, we see the Time Observer addressing Victor.

I stood in the centre of the street, looking hesitantly around, but I was unable to spot that familiar figure.

In the dead of the night, from the distant horizon, there seemed to come the sound of a mechanical little violin.

In a boundless, pure white space, the music would be at time peaceful and solemn, and at others somber and mournful. After the final note, that pair of tightly-closed eyes opened.

The Time Observer looked at Victor, neither showing surprise.

That pale white hand brushed lightly over the violin strings, and his gravelly voice spoke up with the pluck of the string.

TO: “The natural rules of operations no longer supply. This world… in memory is a turbulent past and in imagination, there is no serene future. She should have stayed in that world. Her return was a mistake.”

Victor: “If you’re still here that means we still have a chance.”

TO: “A chance that comes at such a heavy cost. Is it really worth it? You will soon understand, in some things, you are doomed to helplessness. Try with all your might, and yet, it remains out of reach.”

Victor: “I won’t let her die again. No matter when."

This will foreshadow future events such as in Chapter 32, where Victor shows a demonstration of this.

Chapter 32-6

Amidst the scattering glass shards, I saw a number of bullets flying towards me.

Only one thought ran through my mind.

Am I going to die?

Chapter 32-8

In the darkness, a crack suddenly splits open, and a blinding light appears, obscuring my sight. My heartbeat practically came to a standstill, the pain I expected never came. The blinding light disappeared, instantaneously replaced by darkness.

Time seemed to pause for a second.

The pitch black bullets, the fractured glass, the car in mid-air…

And then it fell all heavily to the ground.

And in this moment, Victor challenged “fate”, or rather, the “natural rules of operations”, stated by the Time Observer.

I reached out and grabbed the black clothing fluttering before me. Even my voice was trembling.

MC: “Victor…”

I looked in a daze at the man before me, at those fierce eyes beneath his wind-blown hair.

He was looking back at me, as if trying to etch me into his eyes with his deep gaze. But there was another emotion hidden within as well.

After confirming he was unharmed, I let out a sigh, then looked anxiously into his eyes.

MC: “What are you doing here?”

Victor: “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

But this time, his voice was flat.

MC: “I’m sorry… but I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m not unaware of the danger… I must simply stay and stop them.”

I hastily wanted to get Victor out of danger, but his feet were planted firmly. I looked up, to get a look at his expression.

His voice was steady, stopping me in my tracks.

Victor: “I see.”

MC: “You really believe I can stop them?”

Victor: “I said before, even if you don't trust yourself, always trust me. I won’t do anything I'm not sure I can handle. Go what you think needs to be done.”

He patted the back of my head lightly, with a hint of tremor in his voice. He didn’t ask me or stop me, as if he already knew the choice I’d made.

So, while the STF agents and runaway Evolvers were battling, MC was literally going to die at that moment. But Victor enters- using his Evol to stop time, ultimately stopping the bullets and MC’s death.

I whirled around, hoping to catch sight of him.

MC: “Victor!”

I wanted to tell him I’d done it, that I really had prevented this crisis.

A faint worry floated up in my chest. What about Victor?

Medic: “Someone, come quick! There’s another person here!”

I turned and hurried to the end of the bridge.

I then quickly found him.

Ringed by a crowd of people, there he was, the person I would recognise anywhere.

It was…

I halted my steps for a moment, then ran to him without hesitation.

I broke into a panic.

Chapter 32-10

Victor… What happened to him??

I pushed the crowd aside and frantically ran to him.

His face was pallid, eyes squeezed shut, his hair plastered messily to his forehead with sweat. I grasped his hand, unable to believe how icy cold it felt to the touch.

MC: "How could you… Why did you…”

Just then, those eyes shut with pain cracked open. He pursed his lips and then coughed violently, blood started trickling out. Even like that, he still chuckled weakly.

Victor: “I used to think… that your problem was that you thought you could control fate all by yourself. Stubborn, self-reliant, in over your head. Whenever anyone tried to tell you anything, no matter what they said, it was always in one ear and out the other.”

Although it sounded a little weak, his voice was unusually calm, and didn’t really even pause or halt. Almost if, if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to start again.

Victor: “But I really did learn a little something from you. You are the thing unto yourself, so only know the best what your values and decisions should be. No one can guide you. And just like I can’t hold you back, you also can’t change this decision that I’ve made. Don’t ask why, this time, just let me say my piece.”

His voice grew weaker, but he managed to lift his right hand and place it over mine.

I clasped his hand, and a feeling of suspense and dread came over me like I'd never felt before.

MC: “I know… I know… You don’t have to say more.”

He was afraid of something, but not because his life was slipping away. It was more like… something would happen.

Victor closed his eyes, completely exhausted. I squeezed his hand tighter, as if trying to hang on to those remnants of warmth.

You have to make it through this.

A man standing by the riverside swiped his hand through the fog, swiped his hand through the fog, stirring it up into an erratic vortex.

Zero: “Did he actually…”

TO: Like I said before, he is the most suitable candidate.”

Zero: “But he refused to help us open the Door of Return.”

TO: “Perhaps it’s only temporary, and he’ll change his mind. I didn’t imagine he’d choose this method for preventing this crisis. Too bad… the price was so dear.”

After Victor saves MC from death, she finds him on the ground- pale and in terrible pain. Throughout Victor’s time with MC, we slowly see the influence he has on her- and the influence she has on him. He tells her that while she shoulders everything on her own and never listens to anyone, she did teach him things in the process. With her love and kindness, she strives to defy “nature's course” and saves worlds. Literally.

You were correct, Victor didn’t suffer injuries from the bullets because he stopped them just in time but Victor is overusing his Evol, and it’s gradually taking a toll on his body. Even back before MC crossed over to the Winter World, Victor was trying to find other alternative ways for MC to live and not sacrifice herself. Unfortunately, there were none. He did also suffer immense pain whenever he time traveled, especially when it led to his time travel pocket watch cracking and breaking in the end.

Victor would normally be practical and very principled in how he executes his plans, but this time around, it was him. This- he- was the plan. That's it. This is similar to how Victor opened a time rift to send MC away in Chapter 18- to somewhere and sometime in space. He waited for her to come back with the help of the Time Observers to confirm her safety. Only someone with his powerful Evol could do that, otherwise they’d risk losing consciousness in the “Time Rift”.

Additionally, he held onto that hope that MC could and would be saved in the end, like how he tried to find her for 17 years after the orphanage incident, not knowing whether she was dead or alive. Victor wants to wield that control, denying “helplessness” and “winning all the bets” he had with MC prior to her “death” in Chapter 18. Victor stated that if she couldn’t trust herself, then she should trust him and his decisions to protect her. Even if it’s detrimental to his health. Life-threatening, even. Because in the end, Victor knows he will always win. He just does.

And since he knows that he won’t be able to stop MC from doing what she wants, we now see him fully embracing then acting upon it. He accepts that she’s her own person and he has grown to have so much faith in her, seeing how she successfully survived Winter World then coming back home safe. It’s almost like- “okay. It’s you and me against the world”.

On the sidelines, Time observer and ZERO both observe, surprised that Victor will pay such a high price to avoid MC’s death from occurring- with the risk of his own. Could they have lost their most powerful time Evolver from this incident?

Though, we shouldn’t be surprised that the Time Observers think that Victor would be so foolish to use his Evol up to the point where it would actually kill him just to save MC. It's literally in their name- “Observers''- they haven’t and aren’t even allowed to actively participate in the events that happened in Loveland, let alone the different histories and worlds that existed, other than claiming to “correct it” by influencing other people who can. They don’t appear to have this kind of empathy in understanding Victor and why he wants to save MC’s life, or how important she is to him.

“You misunderstand. We never alter, we are correctors of history. We want you to join us, your power’s scope of influence has already surpassed the dimension of this current world. Before you are rejected by it…”

Victor: “I will not leave this world.”

“Even if you’ve seen the future of what is all to pass?”

Victor: “No matter what happens, the person I’m seeking for is right here.” -Black Curtain: Chapter 6

Also taken from my Time Observer Analysis-

Since Victor’s Evol is strong and has the capability to do more than “observe” like the Time Observers, he is the one who is deemed the most suitable and more responsible for “grasping the time in the past and the future”. Ever since STF found out about Victor’s Evol, they wanted him to cooperate with them too. Every time he stops time, certain surrounding energy and space changes.

The organisation also entertains the idea of fate, and how things should be refused to be changed. Since they have “seen the future of how the world ends”, they want Victor to cooperate with them in making it stop. Nobody can rewrite the ending among them, except him. Victor refuses to join because he doesn’t adhere to this idea.

“QUEEN’s return has brought unexpected consequences; the entire collapse of the world is ahead of schedule. The world’s line has come to an end, no matter through time or space, we can no longer interfere in this world.” Was there a difference in letting each world go to the end alone to close all the world lines in the future directly? Although we found a breakthrough, this situation really caused us a lot of headaches: she who should not have survived and she should not have been sent to other worlds. As a result, it would seriously interfere and disrupt the timeline. No one had done it before, and no one except Victor could do it.

In disbelief, we weighed it and threw the olive branch- as long as he is willing to cooperate, we will help him find her. As decisive as he was to refuse a few times before, this time he had promised me without thinking. And for a moment, I didn’t know if his decisiveness was good or bad. -Chapter 33-34 Rumours and Secrets

Victor "travelling ten-thousand years in the future" was mentioned in his Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets. The Space and Time Administration (who the Time Observers were under) could "repair his abilities", after he stopped the bullets from hitting MC. He would have to stay there for the Space and Time Administration's time duration of ten-thousand years. Victor accepts. (BIG THANKS TO @cheri-cheri FOR CORRECTING ME LAST MINUTE WITH THIS ONE, YOU AMAZING HUMAN!!)

#mlqc #mlqc victor #love and producer #mr love queens choice #恋与制作人 #mlqc translation #mlqc analysis #mlqc en #mlqc time observers #victor #mlqc spoilers

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