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tavyliasin · 4 months

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Villain-Fucker Angst Hours

Good timezone, darlings~ Are you ready to get all up in your feelings? No? Me neither, loves, but here we are regardless so the words are going to flow as they usually do... This is focused on Raphael from Baldur's Gate 3 and his fandom, but the latter section can easily apply to any villain fandom.

Self-Analysis of Devil-Fuckery, Or Why Do I Adore Raphael When He Is Very Obviously Evil: A Short Essay by TavyliaSin (Who Still Cannot Name Anything With Less Than A Full Paragraph) ((NSFW)) (((Game Spoilers)))

The following may discuss heavier topics, but without specifics, so whilst it should be safe for most to read without triggering any difficult memories please be aware of Raphael's entire vibes, the content and context of his story, and I'd also like to mention that this isn't a "woe be us for we are terrible people" piece, it's actually more about:

"There is an inherent kindness and warmth to much of the Raphael fandom, and I think there could be some common threads behind that, pulling us all in closer in a comforting blanket that we wrap around each other to keep out the cold of the world."

So, what in the nine hells am I on about? Well. Raphael-fandom is a wild and wonderful place to be. The rest is in sections, so feel free to skip through to what you feel is relevant to your interests. I am so prone to waffle I should open a restaurant~

Who Are Fans Of Raphael? What Do They Want?

We are feral, unhinged, all sheets to the wind "I want that devil man, carnally, and there is no force in all the planes that could stop me". There's the vanilla to the extreme and every level in between, tops, bottoms, versatiles, Doms, subs, and switches - there are a whole lot of people who would love to get their hands on either (or both) of Raphael's forms, for a simple smooch or something far more spicy~ [edited in] To add on to this, not all of us even desire him in a sexual way, for many it is romantic, soft, or even just the rather pleasant thought of spending an evening with drinks by the hellfire because he would be fascinating company. Aces, Aros, and AroAces may all find themselves well within the devilish corners of fandom too~ which is a whole other essay~ [end edit] So, I see you. I'm one of you. Extremely loud and utterly hingeless in my fan appreciation for Raphael. He's one of my favourites to write about, I seek art of him, and the same goes for his mirrored other half, Haarlep, who I arguably love more despite there being far less content of them in the game.

And the Fandom? The Vibe?

From my experience in the Raphael Fandom areas, we have a very deep and abiding understanding of consent, respect, and treating each other with an absolute and uncompromising kindness. We've had talks about keeping each other safe in fandom, exchanged details of people we have encountered who need to be avoided, even shared details between moderators of different fandom servers to pre-ban people proven to be creeps and/or art thieves. We've also discussed consent, including the issues with it in the game, and how areas of the story can only really be considered dubious at best and could easily be triggering for people. And these discussions have been open, honest, fair, and with the acknowledgement that most of us love these scenes anyway. So there's a sense of care that runs through everything, behind the horny-posting and fan content, behind the endless thirsting after our favourite fictional characters. We have a depth of kindness that warms my sinners soul every time I see it.

What Does This Have To Do With Self-Reflection, Raphael, or Villainy In General?

Well let's look at Raphael. He's a villain, obviously. He's manipulative, devious, and inherently evil by his very nature. He keeps Hope chained in his basement, constantly subjected to endless torture. There's also mention of how Gortash was sold into his service at a young age, clearly not an enjoyable experience given the other details and how things turn out (particularly as Raphael would need Gortash's own plans to fail entirely in order for him to succeed in his own and get that crown). And as fans, we accept that. We don't sit making excuses, or trying to say "well actually Gortash is a little shit and Hope probably deserve it", and we don't shy away from or conveniently ignore those darker sides of him with malicious intent to enable more evil to flourish. What I noticed, when I allowed the thoughts to continue, is that there is a theme here.

If Evil Can Be Loved Then So Can I

That's the core. Of course, darlings, I am not claiming to be a heinous monster. I certainly do not have a laundry list of crimes that would make the devil himself say "Uh, that's a bit much." But I sure as fuck treat myself like I do sometimes. You see, I think a lot of us have that tendency, to judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else. Our patience, understanding, and forgiveness for others runs deeper than the Mariana Trench, but when it comes to our own flaws? One minor mistake and we think ourselves to be the worst beings ever to disgrace the earth. Thus, the villainy we see reflects how we are treating ourselves. So by loving and accepting all of those things that should be terrible, hated, we are actually learning that no matter how poorly we think of ourselves that we can be worthy of that same love and acceptance. We are extending the affection we are unable to show ourselves to someone we see the worst parts of ourselves amplified within. And that's why villains attract the people with the most kindness. The most forgiveness. Because it takes someone with a truly huge amount of empathy to find love for the embodiment of evil.

Or, IDK, maybe villains are just hot and we're too far down to care.

But wait, before you go!

THERE'S SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.

All of this is about FICTION. We should never be accepting of the kinds of evil we see in the game irl. We do not owe anyone kindness if they do not show it to us.

What is hot in fiction is not always OK IRL.

Look after yourselves out there, remember that consent is key in all things, and please do try to learn to love yourselves, darlings, you are worthy of it and you should judge yourself by the same standard you judge others. If you are in doubt, if you are worried, if you feel afraid - reach out, talk to someone. There are many who will listen.

Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. You deserve that much.

Oh, and all Raphael fans who understand kindness are welcome around me, any hour of the day, I adore our little fandom circles and would gladly collect all of us together. I'm following a lot of you as soon as I find you, like hunting shiny pokemon~

See you in Avernus, my darling Little Mice, may we all find joy in the Cambion's Embrace~

#baldurs gate 3 #raphael #bg3 raphael #villain fucker #personal reflection #analysis of the inner mind by a complete amateur #listen the thoughts get loud then I write them down darlings it happens all the time #love yourself please #you are worth more than you give yourself credit for #and keep loving those villains! it's good for you!#be kind to yourself #and be kind in the community #did this even make sense? well it's there now so tough #DMS are open for fellow fans with excellent taste~

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lovesongbracket · 1 year

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Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Demolition Lovers

Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way

Artist: My Chemical Romance

Released: 2002

The Demolition Lovers are the couple seen on the cover for MCR’s next album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. This song, along with much of the album, is a prequel to the story of Three Cheers… in which a man makes a deal with the devil to get his dead lover back by killing 1,000 evil men and giving the devil their souls in exchange for her. This song is most likely where the lover dies. The two “Demolition Lovers” are featured on the cover of the album.

[Verse 1] Hand in mine, into your icy blues And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway With this trunk of ammunition, too" I'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things We put each other through and [Verse 2] I would drive on to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running [Chorus] But this time, I mean it I'll let you know just how much you mean to me As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of everything I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold [Post-Chorus] Until the end, until this pool of blood Until this, I mean this, I mean this, until the end of [Chorus] I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade and nights grow And we grow cold But this time, we'll show them We'll show them all how much we mean As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of every… [Interlude] All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this [Guitar Solo] [Bridge] As lead rains will pass on through Our phantoms forever, forever Like scarecrows that fuel this flame We're burning forever and ever Know how much I want to show you You're the only one Like a bed of roses There's a dozen reasons in this gun [Outro] And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!

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I Will Follow You into the Dark

Written By: Benjamin Gibbard

Artist: Death Cab for Cutie

Released: 2006

Even on a concept album whose main theme is death, “I’ll Follow You Into The Dark” is a standout moving song about the transcendental power of love, even when that boundary is death. This song was recorded unexpectedly while the band was having technical difficulties in studio. Chris Walla, Death Cab for Cutie’s lead guitarist and producer, said the following. “We were going to track the vocal for another song and there was something screwy happening with the headphone mix. We were having problems, so I said, “Ben, this is gonna be a few minutes. Take a break.” Ben’s version of taking a break while we addressed the headphone problem was to pick up this Stella guitar that he loves and start playing this song we were planning on recording sometime later during the sessions. He was still coming through the vocal mic as he was playing this, and it was sounding really cool to me, so I went up and said, “Let’s track this real quick,” and we did and that’s what’s on the record. It was a mono recording with no effects. Nothing. I added a little compression and de-essed it a bit. It’s really weird. It’s totally there and it’s happening.”

[Verse 1] Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark [Chorus] If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark [Verse 2] In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black And I held my tongue as she told me, "Son Fear is the heart of love," so I never went back [Chorus] If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark [Verse 3] You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary and the soles of your shoes Are all worn down, the time for sleep is now But it's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon In the blackest of rooms [Chorus] And if Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied And illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark [Outro] Then I'll follow you into the dark

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#demolition lovers #my chemical romance #i will follow you into the dark #death cab for cutie #polls #poll tournament #poll bracket #tournament #bracket #lovesongbracket #round3

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darthstitch · 2 years

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Things That Never Happened in History Class

1. Professor Gadling's History 101

"... and so you see, Nan Boleyn was no 'femme fatale' homewrecking the happy Tudor household and leading the 'good' King Henry astray..."

There were snickers in the room.

"... though it makes for some pretty good stories, aye? Always love me a good bodice-ripper or that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers on the telly. He's a dish, that one." Professor Gadling leaned a bit forward, a naughty gleam in his eyes. "Though, the real King Henry was a looker when he was younger. Looked a bit like our Prince Harry, now that I think about it."

More laughter. Which was typical in Professor Gadling's classes. Iggy Pop - really, that was his name and yes, his parents loved him dearly - said, "Like, the dude's got a way with bringing all that historical stuff to life. Like he was totally there. Totally awesome, dude."

Iggy also had some of the best grades in the class, California surfer animated Pixar turtle accent and all. But the observation was accurate.

And it was also one of the reasons why Professor Gadling's history classes were booked solid every semester.

2. Nevermore

Sometimes, there was a raven on Professor Gadling's shoulder.

The first time he appeared, he was perched all nice and comfy on the professor's shoulder, looking as calm as you please, fixing the class with his beady black clever eyes.

The Professor sighed. "No, he's not me familiar. He's babysitting."

"You mean, YOU'RE babysitting him, right, Professor?"

The raven squawked in protest. Professor Gadling rolled his eyes. "He's the one doing the babysitting. I try not to pick arguments with ravens, you see. Terribly bad idea."

"Nevermore," said the raven clearly and drolly.

The class eventually learned the raven's name was Matthew.

3. There can be only one

There was a persistent rumor that someone once confronted Professor Gadling with an honest-to-God actual sword.

It happened in that secluded alleyway created by the old library and the faculty building, or so the story went.

The Professor, in atypical fashion, went, "Nope."

"There can be only one!" declared the sword-wielder, raising his weapon.

"Nope, I'm NOT that kind of immortal. You don't get to take my head, there's not going to be any ruddy lightning quick-thing whatever it is you lot call it. I'm not the droid you're looking for. Go off with you."

Apparently, Matthew the Raven helped drive whoever it was away - aside from the fact that the Professor was actually pretty good in a fight.

"Ugh, Pierson owes me THREE pints for this!"

4. Shakespeare In Love

There was a rule that got passed down from class to class.

For sheer unadulterated entertainment, get Professor Gadling to rant about William Shakespeare. Oh, he wasn't one of those who posited that the Bard never wrote his plays. Far from it.

He just absolutely had Very Specific Opinions about the man. And they were Loud, Pointed and absolutely Hilarious.

This was also good for distracting the Professor long enough to get out of any last minute homework or suprise quizzes. There was hell to pay during the next class, but it was well worth it.

"You are too harsh on dear William, sir," said the snow-pale young man in black, with the messy, rumpled hair.

The class wasn't sure how he suddenly appeared in their midst, although it felt like he'd always been there. He looked perfectly grave, absolutely serious... except for the glint of mischief in his odd dark blue eyes.

The professor crossed his arms over his chest, looking sourly at him. "He was a ruddy hack. Got a bit lucky, I'd say."

The pale young man smiled faintly. "He had a true gift that just needed a little bit of nudging."

A scoff. "Sure. Exchanged his soul for artistic immortality, Faustian bargains, deals with the Devil."

"No." The smile was still there and it was mesmerizing to see, as if this wasn't a man given much to that expression. "Just two plays, commissioned to order. What need have I for men's souls?"

"Hmph."

"Jealousy does not become you, Hob Gadling."

"Oi!"

"Uh... Professor, should we leave you two alone now? Like, this whole lover's quarrel UST thing you've got going is kinda cute, but we really don't wanna be around for the kiss-and-make-up part!"

Of course, it was Iggy Pop who just had to ruin what seemed to be the most interesting moment that had happened so far in Professor Gadling's history classes.

Someone raised a hand. "I don't mind being around for the kiss-and-make-up part!"

The class would later learn that the young man's name was apparently "Murphy."

He was also Matthew's "boss."

Any kissing and making up supposedly took place at that New Inn down the road, which also served, among other things, a delicious shepherd's pie.

- end -

NOTE: Yes, I did a Highlander reference. I couldn't resist.

#the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream/hob #what have i done #i crack what i want #shhh no one tell neil #bwahahahahah #dream and the one time he made a sensible lovelife decision #such happy #very wow #losing his emo boi goth badge

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wordsandrobots · 2 months

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IBO reference notes on . . . deals with the devil

As @gremoria411 rightly commented, I skipped over Isurugi in my essay on character parallels in Iron-Blooded Orphans, even though he's part of a fourth 'leader/follower' dynamic, after Orga and Mika, Gaelio and Ein, and Rustal and Julieta.

And I was thinking about that and why exactly I left him out of the previous essay (beyond tripartite symmetry) when I got to contemplating an aspect of the show of which he's an excellent illustration. So let's get Faustian and unpick the devil's bargains made throughout IBO. Spoilers, as ever, ahoy, and this was also partly inspired by a post from @ember-amber, so cheers for that!

An arm and a leg

I should start with the obvious. Mikazuki's 'deal' with Barbatos, unleashing the Gundam's full power in exchange for the loss of his motor functions, first in his right arm, then down his whole right side, is the bluntest example of a character bargaining for greater power. Indeed, we might press the point and say it's not just his body Mika gives up for the sake of victory but his soul, tying himself ever closer to his mobile suit to the exclusion of the things he once sought beyond the battlefield. He resigns himself to always being what Barbatos allows him to be: the gun Orga fires to destroy obstacles. The hints of livelier, more well-rounded person are subsumed by unrelenting warfare. A boy who cannot stop, even when there is nobody left to order him into the fray, bound to a mechanical nightmare.

Yet to single this out is to overlook that Barbatos isn't the first devil's bargain Mika and the rest of Tekkadan have made in their short lives. Employment as a child at the CGS is predicated on Alaya-Vijnana surgery, after all, and even if that doesn't cripple them, their elevation from the gutter is marked by exchanging one uncaring environment for another. The Third Group are mistreated by adults who see them as disposable and draw scant distinction between volunteers, like Orga, Mikazuki and Takaki, and Human Debris, indentured workers on whom the surgery is actively imposed.

There is an extent to which the distinct is scant in any case. A choice may still be an active one when it is coerced but there are reasons we consider coercion a factor in making moral judgements. Can people be held responsible for decisions made under duress? We generally agree responsibility is lessened or even mitigated in such cases. And what is more coercive than facing a choice between slow starvation and the offer of being fed and paid, albeit at the cost of risking a much quicker end?

Well. Except we also – socially speaking – judge harshly those who trade acts of violence for money. Even when circumstances are considered to mitigate some of the blame, are we ever prepared to excuse fighting and killing on the basis those responsible would otherwise have suffered in poverty?

I don't raise simply as a vague 'makes you think' point. Iron-Blooded Orphans does not overly concern itself with the morality of killing (I'd go so far as to say it actively dismisses the question as meaningless). It is, however, rooted in a world where killing is an ugly necessity, not just for the sake of various causes, but as an act of survival. That is what Tekkadan becomes, for the CGS Third Group. A means of surviving in the face of forces that really would crush them if they did not take a stand. Through their bargain with the adult mercenaries who augmented them, they entered a life of fight or be killed. A struggle for dominance at the bottom of the heap. And they are damned for it.

In the eyes of their society, they are monstrous aberrations. It does not matter that they are in many respects typical, reflecting the exploitation on which the world runs. Their brief stint as heroes is overshadowed by contempt and disgust, by the social taboos they break simply by existing, and by their status as scapegoats, sinking the entirety of the blame for the violence they were a party to. Isn't that the ultimate cost of the deal they made? Their innocence as perceived by others, tarnished such that they can never again be the children they were when they signed on the dotted line.

It is interesting to consider the implications this has regarding the Calamity War and the origin of the Gundam frames. We know, of course, that Gjallarhorn actively demonised (hur hur) the very technology that staved off humanity's extermination by the mobile armours. This appears to have been an act of self-interest, ensuring those advancements remained solely in their control, though the details are vague at best – as always, McGillis must be considered an unreliable source. Nevertheless, their efforts were only partially successful, with a cruder version of the Alaya-Vijnana becoming prevalent in the outer-spheres of Mars and Jupiter (and indeed the inner-sphere of Venus; basically everywhere outside Earth and the near-Earth colonies). They managed to make the thing taboo at home while failing to suppress its use abroad. Stop me if you've heard this one before.

And yet the fact remains: the Alaya-Vijnana and the Gundam frames ended the War. We get to see exactly what a fully-unleashed Gundam is capable of and if we are to parallel the deal Mikazuki makes with Barbatos to those Tekkadan as a whole made on entering their life as soldiers, what then can we say about the original Gundam pilots? They must have been under immense pressure to achieve victory, with the fate of the species on the line. Said victory depended on releasing limiters placed inside their mobile suits to protect them from the strain maximum power would put on their bodies. How many, therefore, willingly ended up in the same state as Mika – or worse?

We don't know. But I don't think it an irrelevant detail that Gjallarhorn's prominence as a military organisation is rooted in this possibility, especially since there are more direct parallels with Tekkadan. Ein opts to side with those who oppress his mother's home planet on behalf of a distant imperial centre and he too trades something for security with that decision, though what we call it may depend on well-disposed we feel towards him. Self-respect? Loyalty to his fellow Martians? Whatever the case, his fanatical tendencies were likely not mellowed by the weight of his choice.

Moreover, what the boys in Tekkadan materially are is at most an extreme version of what your average Gjallarhorn solider is: somebody selling their capacity for violence for the means to survive. For all that the show focuses on the likes of Ein, Julieta, and the other extra-loyal elite forces, we still get plenty of cutaways to troops just doing their jobs. The captain of the Sleipnir, grudgingly setting sail on his daughter's birthday. The CO on the bridge at Edmonton, refusing to waste his men's effort doing more than holding the line. The men deployed during the final episode, frightened and scrambling to survive Mikazuki's ferocity.

They all signed up to do violence. They must have had some idea about what they were getting into, likely more so than anyone who joined the CGS as a pre-teen. Again, this is their job. It could get them killed, or at least maimed, and will certainly lead to them killing others. But in the end, it beats poverty.

These characters exist on a spectrum of bodily sacrifice in exchange for material gains. From Human Debris (fight or die), through Tekkadan (fight to have basic human necessities), on to Gjallarhorn (fight or have less power within society) and to the original Gundam pilots (fight or watch the entire species die), the divisions are by degree rather than kind.

Even Gaelio, the most privileged and 'righteous' character (in the sense of being driven by moral indignation, not practical concerns), expends his body and personal beliefs to get what he's after. Though ending the series in a state comparable to Mikazuki is a personal decision rather than a direct consequence of his Gundam claiming a price for its power, it still stems from an embrace of the taboo.

A soldier is, definitionally, a paid gun. States and businesses exchange money with those willing to kill others – something otherwise generally agreed to be an act punishable by society's rules. This is, for better and worse, the transaction that defines our cast.

Dealing with the devious

In this context, the Gundams are admirably frank. As machines, they cannot dress up what they offer or will take for it. It is left to human characters to play the part of the deceitful tempter.

Via Hush's flashbacks to a cheery Builth heading off to join the CGS, we can form the impression that Arkay Maruba's men did not initially present themselves as the harsh taskmasters they proved to be for anyone who receive a successful implant. This may seem trivial compared to other lies witnessed throughout the show, but I don't know that the rest are much deeper. Honeyed words covering a brutal reality is par for the course when the world is brutal realities all the way down.

In this regard, there is a distinction to be drawn between those offering things at a terrible cost and those who do so dishonestly. Consider Teiwaz: their wealth is underpinned by cold, ruthless calculation and cold, ruthless violence. The conglomerate is staffed by perfectly nice people like Merribit Stapleton, but run by the likes of McMurdo Barriston and Jasley Donomikols, who will kill those who get in their way. McMurdo displays many endearing traits and an indulgent generosity. He also uses Tekkadan to remove a threat to his power, then cuts them off so this act cannot cause infighting between his other lieutenants. His breaking of the sakazuki cup Orga returns to him is a canny move, as by doing so he washes his hands of culpability in Tekkadan's actions. Given the structure of Teiwaz, the other subsidiary leaders would likely have felt threatened if he'd overtly squashed Jasley. This way, he gets that same outcome while also dispelling any notion he plays favourites, because he instantly expels those punk kids everyone was worried about, despite his proven soft-spot for them. Order and peace are restored; business can continue as usual.

Which is appalling and hardly counterbalanced by the aid he gives to Orga afterwards (although, to be clear, I don't think you can dismiss said aid either: he is taking a risk by helping Tekkadan out of the hole he shoved them into; he's just also the one who shoved them into it in the first place).

But we're told who McMurdo is from the word go. And so are Tekkadan. Naze makes very clear the Old Man is driven primarily by seeking profit. This has an upside in that he is not concerned with how said profits are made or who he has to deal with to get them. It also has a major downside for those exact same reasons. I don't believe he ever misrepresents himself. He is frighteningly blunt with Orga by the end. His actions, ultimately, are in line with everything anybody ever says about him (except Jasley, who makes the mistake of assuming McMurdo growing old represents weakness, not outliving challengers). The grandfatherly persona, the cannoli and the bonsai trees – these aren't affectations concealing monstrous depths. McMurdo Barriston simply happens to be a gentleman getting on in years, who enjoys good food and gardening, who will absolutely crush anyone who obstructs his interests.

No, for the real devious bastards we have to look elsewhere. Let's start with the Moustache Man. Todo Micronen is introduced in all his pot-bellied glory slacking off on beating Takaki, Danji and Ride over being too slow at their mine-laying practice. For a brief, shining moment, he gets to look semi-decent in comparison to the real bruisers of the CGS First Group.

Then he sells the newly-formed Tekkadan out to Gjallarhon.

Todo makes a show of being on Orga's side, ingratiating himself to the new leadership with his connections and greater life-experience. That experience, however, is predicated on looking out for number one. In the face of the space police stomping them all to get hold of Kudelia, Todo makes a deal to save his own skin. Unfortunately for him, he isn't what we might call good at appearing trustworthy. Orga and Biscuit twig he's up to something and Tekkadan escape the trap, leaving a beaten-up Todo for McGillis to find. This nicely demonstrates that our heroes aren't complete suckers: Orga follows Todo's suggestions because he's not in a position refuse the assistance if it's genuine, but he's smart enough to plan for the alternative.

At first, Kudelia's dealings with Nobliss Gordon lack this awareness. Where Todo gives strong used-car salesman vibes, Nobliss is more competent at wrapping other people around his little finger. Additionally, rather than trusting solely to gullibility, he positions Fumitan as a watchdog on Kudelia's actions, so that whatever he says, he'll always have final control of the outcome. And it seems he really would say anything, to anyone, to get what he's after. He deals with virtually every major faction in the show, assisting them by turns, the proverbial arms-dealer who will sell to both sides, willing to set in moment immense amounts of bloodshed if it increases his revenue.

Notably, when Kudelia eventually discovers his true nature, her reaction differs from Orga's jettisoning of Todo. Rather than breaking from Nobliss, she seeks to reverse their relative positions so that she is using him. Thereafter, she continues to take his money in spite of recognising his motives. If he wants her to be the face of a revolutionary movement creating profitable instabilities, he must keep giving her the resources to pursue her goals. It's a tenuous, strained relationship that ultimately proves a hindrance to saving the people she cares for. But it too is an demonstration, of how sometimes one cannot simply extract oneself from bargains that provide material advantages. For the sake of inching the world forward, it can be necessary to make deals you know benefit those whose aims run contrary to your own.

Which brings us to McGillis.

With McGillis, the lines between deceiver and deceived blur. It's hard to claim he's honest in his dealings with Tekkadan. There is a lopsidedness to the arrangement, whereby he exploits their combat ability for his own ends while offering little more than pie in the sky in return. His grand promises amount to nothing and for all the munitions he funnels their way, he never gives them anything that doesn't ultimately serve his goals alone. He simply provides the means to fight more effectively: the thing he needs from them, not what they require to prosper.

On the other hand, did he believe he would be able to fulfil those promises, eventually? McGillis spends the entire series working towards a dream of absolute control over Gjallarhorn, a position from which he would have the means to dispense boons to his supporters. Whether he'd have followed through on doing so is an open question. But his admiration for Tekkadan appears sincere, so he might well have tried, as poor an idea as it is to give planet-ruling power to a bunch of violent children and, by extension, their mafia benefactors.

We don't know for sure, because ultimately the person McGillis fooled most was himself. He sold his soul to an ideal taken from an old book and willingly embraced the cost, taking an active role in tearing apart everything good in his life. He is at once devil and bargainer, spinning fairytales from his own self-deception and becoming a Pied Piper, leading others inexorably to the same doom that awaits him.

Any star in the dark

Knowing what you're getting into is a vital component of Faustian pacts. Some people do, and work frantically to ameliorate the negative consequences. Some do not, and are struck down when things do not work out the way they imagined. Getting out of the bargain, or trying to, is usually the meat of stories that feature this device so it follows that it matters whether entering them is done with knowledge or ignorance.

I've discussed Kudelia, who starts out naïve and learns better, and Orga, who makes some bargains with full understanding (Todo, Teiwaz, Makanai too) and some with a mistaken belief in their worth (McGillis). Of these two, I would categorise Kudelia as a pragmatist who recognises the world is such that a successful path forward is built on compromise, and Orga as a gambler, always seeking the quickest route to the highest reward. I won't dwell here too much on stuff I've discussed elsewhere about what drives Orga to act this way except to say that it is as much about the desperation of his circumstances as the desire to possess greater riches.

This is a pattern throughout the show, with characters committing to long odds and risky activities to escape miserable situations. And it repeats once more with Isurugi Camice, McGillis' stalwart aide-de-camp, introduced at the start of Season 2.

It is clear from the word go that he is as loyal a supporter of McGillis' intentions to reform Gjallarhorn as you could hope to find. Furthermore, McGillis trusts him to an exceptional degree. Isurugi is party to all the technical details of the coup, serving as the means by which the moving parts are organised, representing McGillis when it is no longer possible for 'The General' to leave Earth unnoticed, and acting as his wingman in battle. Eventually, this dogged support proves Isurugi's undoing. He is fatally injured while intercepting a killing blow Gaelio meant for McGillis.

At this point, we learn what lies behind his loyalty: like Ein, he is a colony-born member of Gjallarhorn and without a well-placed patron, he would have no prospects. With McGillis' help, he was able to achieve a higher rank and consequently, as he puts it, in McGillis' presence he was able to dream of a better future. Even if it meant the bloodshed that comes of trying to overthrow the Seven Stars' historical control of the organisation – including his own blood, shed on Gaelio's knee-mounted drill bit – he believed it worthwhile to throw in his lot with his General.

Predictably, Gaelio reacts by declaring this a delusion perpetrated by McGillis, with no real possibility of coming true. And while he is broadly correct about the second part of that conclusion, it's worth stressing that Gaelio is textually Always Wrong™ about McGillis right up to their final scene together. He thoroughly misunderstands his ex-friend's motivations and fails to recognise where McGillis' priorities lie at key moments (see the business with the mobile armour; Gaelio takes a fully cynical view of it, not realising McGillis is about the only person to genuinely comprehend the threat Hashmal poses ahead of time).

Moreover, as Isurugi tells him during a dying monologue, Gaelio lacks first-hand experience of what it's like to have no future worth a damn. For all Ein taught Gaelio to look beyond his privileged life, he never has to live long-term with the knowledge that things cannot get better. Isurugi did. And when given the option, he chose a path offering a chance of improvement, however far-fetched and however costly.

Now, we are talking about another character who voluntarily joined the colonial police to improve his lot. Isurugi is presented more sympathetically than Ein but their similarities extend to partaking in the same moral compromise. Becoming a solider, specifically one tasked with enforcing imperial rule, is a way out of being just another oppressed citizen, sure, but the fact that oppression extends to the inside is perhaps not a sob-story stirring too much sympathy. At the same time, the structure of the dilemma echoes those faced by the members of Tekkadan or the people of the Dorts: when the stakes are (or are perceived to be) extreme, extreme responses become understandable.

Indeed, the Dort arc is a useful point of comparison, since it represents an opposing pole of reaction. Rather than seeking to escape via collaboration with the authorities, the workers aim to match strength with them, forcing conditions on the colonies to be recognised and resolved. Consequently, Mr Navona's union makes a deal with Nobliss Gordon, under the misassumption that he is a benefactor to their cause. In this way, they are set up to take a fall Gjallarhorn wipes out those who wanted merely to strongarm the Dort Company to the negotiation table and allows those in favour of more immediately violent solutions to run riot as an excuse for further executions.

Notable here is that the union commits to the threat of violence when they march on the Company HQ. There are no pacifists in this scenario, only a debate about the most effective use of the available weaponry. Everyone gambles that fighting the system head-on will bring a reward.

And the system slaughters them, because it has a far greater capacity for violence than they could hope to possess. It is only through the last-minute tying of Gjallarhorn's hands that anything good comes out of the uprising (and even this is tainted, both by the bargain Kudelia makes with Nobliss, binding herself closer to the devil she knows, and by the long-term consequences of Gjallarhorn's escalating action against colonial liberation movements come Season 2).

Perhaps having seen this kind of thing happen, it isn't any wonder Isurugi would look to someone within the system for hope. To him, McGillis is a bright spark of possibility, worth chasing because at least then he can believe there might be a better world than the one he currently finds himself in. McGillis has institutional power, he is charismatic and clever, and he wants to sweep aside those who administer an unjust structure without complaint. These are alluring qualities even when it is clear the endeavour will to lead to loss, violence and death.

There is no gain without cost. And sometimes, the cost is worth the prospect of the gain.

The final bargain

To an extent, Iron-Blooded Orphans is a story about how this is a fool's logic. In the end, even Mikazuki's honest bargain with Barbatos is a trap, stripping him of the capacity to be anything more than an instrument of violence. 'When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail' is not quite the phrase we want here, but Tekkadan are certainly a group of people who, via the deals they have made, lack opportunities to learn how to use other tools. In many ways, Kudelia, Ein, Isurugi, Naze, Savarin etc. are no different. So many people driven into arrangements that come around to harm them, because that is the nature of things. However pure or understandable or sympathetic the reasons behind the choice, there are always consequences.

And yet, in a world built from pacts between devils and fools, everyone is subject to the same traps. The figures we can identify as playing Satan to our many Fausts are each themselves someone else's supplicant. Todo becomes McGillis' cat's-paw. Nobliss is cowed by McMurdo's greater power, while McMurdo has to tread carefully around Gjallarhorn, as embodied in Rustal Elion. And Elion himself has to make his own deals. As he admits to Julieta, he is not some bastion of integrity but just another shady adult, doing what's necessary even when it conflicts with his stated principles.

At the end, Supreme Commander Elion, the one person we can confidently say came out of this whole business with his goals achieved, sits across from Kudelia Aina Bernstein, chairperson of a free Mars. The man who stood for a modified status quo, freed of disruptive influences, alongside the Maiden of Revolution, who has gotten a measure of what she sought despite everything he took from her.

Two pragmatists, making their compromises, for the sake of moving forward.

I don't mean to position Elion as 'just as much a victim' as the rest. He clearly isn't. What I'm seeking to highlight is a consistent thread whereby everyone has to make arrangements with forces that could destroy them. Which is a lesson worth taking with us to the real world. Compromise is often the death of good intentions, yes, but absent a socialist paradise dropping from the sky, the steps towards building a better world for the people living in it involves working around those who'd stand in the way. Bringing the beneficiaries of the system to the point where they have to make deals with you is a long, hard process involving a great many costs – including that of accepting it is going to be long, that things won't change at single stroke, and anyone promising such a speedy outcome probably can't or won't deliver the goods.

At the very least, I find something worth grappling with here, viewing the series through this lens. Iron-Blooded Orphans is uncompromising in its depiction of violence carrying horrific consequences. It places the callousness of the boardroom and the cabinet meeting on par with the casual brutality of a police baton or a pirate's gun. There is no 'good' fighting in this show and no untainted cause. Mythic heroes occupy a space defined by child-soldiers who know no reaction beyond 'kill the other guy first'. The result is a frank admission that it's rarely a question of if someone is going to sell their soul.

It's a matter of when, and to whom, and how far they can get before the price comes due.

Other reference posts include:

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (Part 1)

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (Part 2)

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (corrigendum) [mainly covering my inability to recognise mythical wolves]

IBO reference notes on … three key Yamagi scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Shino scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Eugene scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Ride scenes

IBO reference notes on … the tone of the setting

IBO reference notes on … character parallels and counterpoints

IBO reference notes on … a perfect villain

IBO reference notes on … Iron-Blooded Orphans: Gekko

IBO reference notes on … an act of unspeakable cruelty

IBO reference notes on … original(ish) characters [this one is mainly fanfic]

IBO reference notes on … Kudelia’s decisions

IBO reference notes on … assorted head-canons

IBO reference notes on … actual, proper original characters [explicit fanfic – as in, actually fanfic. None of them have turned up in the smut yet]

IBO reference notes on … the aesthetics of the mobile frame

IBO reference notes on … mobile suit designations

IBO reference notes on … the Gundams (part 1)

IBO reference notes on … the Gundams (part 2)

IBO reference notes on … the Gundams (part 3)

IBO reference notes on … the Turbines, or ‘Tekkadan done right’

IBO reference notes on … the Gundams (Addendum 1)

#gundam iron blooded orphans #gundam ibo #g tekketsu #tekketsu no orphans #spoilers #reference #notes #faustian bargains #pacts with the devil

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avelera · 10 months

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So "Doctor Faustus" already being out by the time Dream came by in 1589, is...uh, possibly a bit fudged for the sake of the story in Sandman, but I'm thinking about Hob canonically calling bisexual legend Kit Marlowe a great playwright, and the fact that Doctor Faustus is literally about a handsome demon seducing a more or less normal guy into selling his soul in exchange for an extraordinary life, including temporary immortality during the agreed 24-year span (including a scene where Faustus survives a murder attempt and holds his own severed head in a scene that I'm sure made Hob fuckin' blanche wondering if his secret had gotten out).

And I'm also thinking about how there's a strong running theme in "Faustus" of Mephistophilis steering Faust away from getting married. There is no Marguerite (Faust's wife in other versions) in Marlowe's version of the story which is really interesting. Especially because there's a rather strong whiff of jealousy (especially with Arthur Darvill's performance) around Mephistophilis urging Faust away from marriage, saying he'll bring him fine courtesans, or even (eventually) Helen of Troy instead, but definitely don't get married.

And I'm also thinking about my (and others') emerging fanon that Hob had his own written-or-unwritten fanfic of Faust x Mephistophilis that was heavily based on his own fantasies around his dark and mysterious stranger who gave him immortality. ("This could be us, but you keep fuckin' leaving after 5 minutes...") and a thought occurred to me.

So it's really weird that Hob just happens to get married within a few years, at most, of his 1589 meeting with Dream.

Now, my main assumption around this, Watsonian/in-universe, is that Hob wanted to demonstrate success to his stranger. So within a few years of the 1589 meeting, he looked at the date and went, "Oh shit, if I really wanted to show off I should get married and have an heir on the way, that's the true mark of success in my era!" (Which, of course, Dream is spectacularly unimpressed by and/or projecting his own miseries onto Hob's inevitable despair once they die.)

But now I'm thinking about "Doctor Faustus" and also kind of wondering... timeline fudging aside where he could have conceivably seen the play (or some early version of it while Marlowe was writing it) and if that could lend to a slightly alternative reading of why Hob was in a rush to get married before his meeting with his stranger?

Either:

My tall dark and possibly-not-the-Devil-then-again- the Devil-could-just-LIE stranger is coming. Faustus in "Doctor Faustus" passed up on a chance to possibly have his soul saved by not being married. So it might be a good idea to be married just in case, y'know, for the sake of my soul and so I'm not tempted by being single.

(The more Dreamling-shippy one) My tall dark and handsome stranger can't possibly be interested in me. In fact, it's kind of pining and pathetic to still be nominally single when he comes by, especially after 200 years. Talk about desperate. Maybe it's better if I'm married, that way I don't look desperate and it's not like he'd ever be interested, right? But if he does seem annoyed that I'm married, I will have definitely learned something.

Only for Dream to peace out of there almost immediately upon meeting happily-married-Hob.

Now, do I think canonically that Hob was sort of testing the waters by getting married? Not especially cuz it's an ass-backwards way to go about it, if it was a consideration at all, I'd see it as more hedging to the tune of not looking desperate, rather than trying to make Dream jealous or anything.

But I would bet (or at least put in a fanfic) that Hob added the fact that Dream did not seem especially enthused about his marriage into his little mental list of "Maybe? But surely not. But maybe?" as it emerged around, say, 1789 along with all the other later evidence of possible interest.

#dreamling #the sandman #sandman meta #doctor faustus #all the links are included in this post fyi

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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year

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Which historical romance books would you recommend to someone who would like to get into the genre but doesn't know where to start? So far my preferred genre was fantasy romance but I think I exhausted it completely at this point so I'm looking for something new. I tried Bridgerton but I didn't like, so I would appreciate any other recommendation. Thank you in advance.

Hey! I am happy to offer some recs. Imo, the Bridgerton books are kinda dated and work for a very *specific* reader, so it's not surprising to me that it wouldn't work. We can find something!

Sarah MacLean is a great gateway--I read every single adult historical she had out when I was first getting back into them in the early pandemic days. She typically writes very strong heroines (not always in a "we do battle" way, but always in mind and heart) and heroes who are just.... like, honestly, MESSES. Guys who can kick ass and fuck hard but are actually, deep within their souls, simps. From her backlist, I'd recommend as entry points:

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake. Her debut, and I recommend it because it's super compulsively readable and very beloved, with good reason. It's the story of a wallflower type who's like, "Jesus Christ, I am so tired of being this person" and sets out to break these nine "rules" and have adventures. She ends up enlisting this known Slut Man to help her (in exchange for helping introduce his long lost sister to society) and naturally, he is soon after her. I will say, MacLean's first series is the most ballroom that she gets? Her tastes are definitely a bit wilder, and they get so from this book. It's funny, it's sexy, it's a romp. My favorite series of hers is the Rules of Scoundrels series, which is about a group of friends who own a gambling club and like getting emotionally destroyed by their lovers. But since you read fantasy romance, I will also suggest...

Wicked and the Wallflower. This is the first in her Bareknuckle Bastards series, which has a very fantastical, fairy tale-like premise. Basically, this guy's wife gave birth to an illegitimate daughter. At the same time, he had three illegitimate sons born together. So--girl not his, sons his. But he claimed the girl was a son upon baptizing her, and decided he'd pick which son was worthy of being his heir in what was essentially an extended CHILD BATTLE ROYALE. Anyway, the books focus on the grown children years later--two of the sons have become rulers of the London Underworld, taking the girl with them. It's wild, it's fun, the stakes are high.

Lisa Kleypas is a classic writer of the genre. She tends to write very emotional books, often focusing on very competent heroes (except that time she didn't and everyone clapped). For her, I always recommend her most famous series--it's a great crowd pleaser.

The Wallflowers. Four friends who are striking out on the marriage mart agree that at all costs, they will help each other find husbands this season. I recommend reading these in order, but the two strongest entries are It Happened One Autumn (book 2, an enemies to lovers situation, he's uptight and she's wild) and Devil in Winter (villainous hero enters into a marriage of convenience with the shy girl, gets absolutely emotionally compromised because she's actually everything), which MUST be read in order for max enjoyment. All the books are good, though, and book 1 is a great start with this kind of indecent proposal angle.

Monica McCarty's Highland Guard series could work for ya! It's a medieval series that centers on this group of knights who do these kind of black ops missions for Robert the Bruce as he's trying to take the Scottish throne. There's a lot of history, battling, Secret Love Shit. The first book is The Chief, which centers on the leader, this cool and stern guy who ends up in an arranged marriage situation with this woman who wants to Know Him Emotionally. These books have tons of adventure.

The Uptown Girls by Joanna Shupe. This series focuses on three sisters of a prominent man in Gilded Age New York, all of whom get into various types of trouble, some of which does involve organized crime. Fun and scandalous~ with a bit of danger. Also, super sexy.

Elizabeth Hoyt's Maiden Lane series is a great one that takes place in Georgian England. Lots of working class characters, walking on the wild side, danger. I'd recommend starting with book 3 (Scandalous Desires) as a starter, as it centers on a river pirate who basically takes this widow woman into his lair~ (he's actually trying to keep her and his daughter, who she's been caring for, safe--but he has ulterior motives, obvi). These books are super hot and often quite daring. Some of my personal favorites.

I think these are some options you can sample and maybe find a match or several with--imo, finding your niche is important. Like, I know Julia Quinn often doesn't work for me because I prefer books that are a bit ... heavier? And definitely with more sex and passion, often with less focus on the marriage mart. With exceptions, clearly!

#romance novel blogging #book recs

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blackjackkent · 3 months

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Annoyingly, despite the fact that Hector is BIG TIME UPSET by what Gortash said about there being a traitor in the camp, I appear to have ZERO option to follow up on this by talking to anyone. Everyone has lots to say about the business between Wyll and Mizora, obviously, but no one wants to speculate on Gortash's threats? Nobody? Really?

I guess the intention is that we just assume he was fucking with us? But really this is a bit frustrating because Hector is VERY afraid of the idea of one of his friends being replaced by a shapeshifter, using his trust of them (or, worse, his love for Karlach) to further Orin's agenda.

I was struck last night by the sudden theory that perhaps the kid, Yenna, and/or her cat are the shapeshifter interlopers in camp. XD That would be quite a twist.

Had a quick chat in camp with Mizora, though, who is busy being exactly as much of a dick as we would expect her to be.

Highlights:

She's apparently only a half-devil, not a devil? Not sure how relevant this is but it surprised me.

She claimed that the offer to trade a single soul for a hero of Baldur's Gate was "uncommonly reasonable," and was very sarcastic about Wyll not being "valorous" by giving up his father in exchange for freedom from the pact. Hector gave her VERY angry eyebrows.

He tried to demand she leave the camp but, unsurprisingly, she just laughed and made it clear that if he tries to attack her she'll just "slip away for a breather" and then come back.

He also asked her why she is no longer trying to kill Karlach, and she said, rather ominously, "I'd think you'd figured it out by now - Zariel found a new use for an old battleaxe. The Dead Three and that bulging brain of theirs are a threat to more than this trifling city, you know. Savor her company - who's to say when Zariel might change her mind? My mistress can be so capricious." >:|

As always, Jaheira's response to the ongoing Wyll situation was the most interesting:

"I did not know Duke Ravengard that well - but I'm sure he would not want his son to become slave to Zariel for his sake. I am sure Wyll knows that - but we would do well to remind him, when his days grow dark."

"You sound like you speak from experience."

"No one truly understands the weight of loss until they've worn it a while. There is no shame in sharing the load, when you need to."

:( Oblique Khalid reference! (And Rasaad, in my particular headcanon.) *hugs Jaheira*

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle

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eodasks · 2 months

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Right, @agentwraith and @phoenix-and-found-family, I present to you, a four hundred and fifty eight word rant about Preston Fowley, from the perspective of Harlow Clarke:

Harlow: Preston is the only other Senior Handler in the EOD, and he is the sole reason we have to sit through those stupid briefings, back in my day our Handlers just told us when we got there.

Harlow: Fuckin' paperwork freaks.

Harlow: Every single time I so much as borrow a pencil I have to fill out 3 seperate forms cause of that halitosis-ridden son of a 3 legged bitch!

Harlow: He couldn't make a speedy decision even if his entire body was on fire and he was right next to a river, he'd be too busy filing form 26-C of an environmental damage report about the consequences of his ashes spreading all over the grass, and then would file a formal request to city hall asking if he can use the river to put himself out!

Harlow: Last week, I asked him if i could borrow a pencil, a fucking pencil, he made me read a 500 word lending contract first!

Harlow: If the devil told me that in exchange for my soul, I could shoot Preston without consequence, I would hand that sucker over, no hesitation, hell, I'd shoot Preston with consequences!

Harlow: When he dies, Zor will surrender, the grim reaper himself will come to claim his corpse, and the dogs in animal handling will gain sentience and dance through the streets, singing "ding dong, the pencil pushing motherfucker is dead!"

Harlow: I would rather be one of Prism's guinea pigs than file another one of his 20 page vacation approval "slips", and it'll be a cold day in hell when I ever go on a mission with him!

Harlow: Last year, Daisy ordered a new hydroponics rack without filing the proper paperwork, and he yelled at her until she broke down crying, and then suspended her for a month!

Harlow: I will make it my annual ritual to go to his gravestone, dig up his body, put out a cigar using his forehead, and then shove his corpse back in the hole.

Harlow: I genuinely feel sorry for which ever poor fuckers got him assigned as their handler, those poor kids must be swamped with bullshit sheafs of paper.

Harlow: And he has never had a papercut in his life, while handling thousands of sheets of paper a day! What the hell kind of being did he make a deal with to obtain that power?

Harlow: Everytime he comes up with a new form that has to be filled in, I feel like taking my revolver from my desk, and ending it right then and there, and i'll let you decide what I mean by that.

Harlow: You want any more? Cause I could talk about the last time I hosted a party while he was in the office.

#agent harlow #preston fowley #ieytd #rant

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twodiamondhoes · 12 days

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Just want you to know that I love dirges so freaking much. Your writing is amazing. I'm a pretty slow reader because my attention span is usually crap, but I stayed up binge reading the entire thing. It felt like I was watching the story as I read it, which is so cool.

I'd take any rambles of info you may have about Scar that didn't make it into the cut! I absolutely adore him.

(I loved the detail about Jimmy's canary boots, btw)

Anon!! you are so incredibly sweet, thank you so much!! <3 I really strive to make things flow and keep my audience engaged and I'm so so happy that it worked with Dirges!!

There are some scenes that I was practically visualizing while writing them and it's so fun to know that I'm not the only one XD

(and thank you!! I love the canary boots, I wish they existed in real life! I do have two pairs of my own boots (as of today, when I got a second, more decorated pair) but alas neither of them have yellow feather details. One day perhaps!)

What to say about Dirges!Scar? Hmmm...

Well, my partner is egging me on to come up with a side-story for Scar, but given the roster already to be written, unless I get whammy'd with an idea that won't let me alone, that will have to wait a while. However, I think my favorite thing about Scar is that, until Del Sombra, he always went into his Deals with a solid idea of what he was asking for and what he was willing to offer in exchange. This didn't always coincide with what he started off asking for/offering though, as I see Scar as being a master manipulator, playing to Ol' Nick's pride, and being very well versed in the Foot-in-the-Door versus Door-in-the-Face salesman tactics. He always got more than enough bang for his buck.

He drafts his own contracts because his lucky pen writes in invisible ink, which is, of course, then revealed by the fires of Hell when it's too late for Nick to do anything about it. He has an identical one that writes in regular ink that he can swap to so that he can write out the majority of the contract, and add his little caveats without suspicion.

The Del Sombra deal was different, partially because he felt responsible for giving the residents undue hope, and because of that he didn't go in with as solid of a plan. He did have to sell his soul to save the town, but he made absolutely certain that he was going to be fairly compensated for it, hence the whole 'accidentally bringing the town to life by binding an eldritch entity to it' fiasco that neither of them saw coming. BUT he got a cool cane out of the deal! Total win, if you ask him.

The tarot cards have nothing to do with Hell or the Devil, they're their own brand of supernatural, and he won them in an aboveboard card game that the previous owner definitely didn't lose on purpose. (Let's just say that some folks wouldn't be as resilient to the lure of the cards, and might find them a bit more, uhh, unnerving than Scar does).

Scar had a secondary plan to get out of the whole "selling his soul" thing, in case his hidden clause didn't work out and he went to hell anyway. Now, unfortunately for him, the Devil is the vindictive sort, and a master of malicious compliance and does not care for being tricked. This, surely, won't come back to bite them at all.

#dirges posting #asked and answered #hope you enjoy these tidbits! :D #there is still a distinct possibility that I write something for Dirges!Scar in the future #but as of right now my dance card is very full lol

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maxinelugg · 3 months

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Mephistopheles Update #1 - Concept, Head and Hair

I'm excited to share some progress on my latest personal project, and I thought I'd write a blog post discussing some of my thoughts behind the project and breaking down some of the processes involved so far!

Concept & Project Goals

Almost a year ago, I had the idea to create two full 3D characters based on my own interpretation of the two main characters of a 1592 play by Christopher Marlowe, The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. These characters would be the titular Doctor Faustus, and his demonic companion, Mephistopheles (not to be confused with the Mephistopheles of the D&D Forgotten Realms setting), created to fit within the Renaissance Germany setting of the playscript. In the play, itself based on German legend, Faustus sells his soul to Lucifer in exchange for forbidden magical knowledge, supplied to him by a damned servant of Lucifer, Mephistopheles, who takes the form of a Franciscan friar. The idea of a deal with the devil, of selling one's soul or integrity in exchange for short-term material gain, often with eternally damning consequences, predates this play and the legend it's based on, but this story is still perhaps the most prominent example of this trope in the literary canon.

However, after a little while of letting the idea simmer, I'd decided to shelve it, as I felt it was somehow a bit odd to create a pair of character models based on a play from over four hundred years ago that hardly anyone had heard of. It wasn't until I was playing Baldur's Gate 3, several months later, that the idea returned to me. In seeing the many fantastic demon character models in that game, I realised I really, really, really wanted to revisit this idea. Suddenly, the project had life again.

Back when I first had this idea, I'd created some concept art for myself, as seen above. As you might notice, some things changed!

I liked a lot about this concept, but after time away from it, I'd realised the bright colour scheme, while definitely inventive and bold, and would read better from afar, might not be the most appropriate to the character, setting or premise.

Ultimately, later in this project, I plan to pose the character with some props (books, similar to those in the concept above). The pose will be different from that of the concept art, as I will try to push for something more dynamic. I will hopefully get to share some of the progress on this soon in the next blog post.

Gathering Reference

1. Photographic monk/friar reference material

Straightforward, simple photographic reference of a friar/monk's garments (habits) and accessories. These are contemporary photographs, but are nonetheless the highest quality imagery I could find. This will be most relevant later into this project when I begin to focus on his clothing and attire.

In the Marlowe play, Mephistopheles appears at first in his true demonic form, and is immediately demanded by Faustus to reappear in the form of a Franciscan friar instead, as the demonic form was too unsightly. It's implied that this new form of a friar appears very mundane, so I'm twisting the source material here to make him a demonic looking friar. Perhaps he has possessed the body of a human monk, but the demonic spirit inside has had an effect on the outward appearance, with horns bursting through his forehead and skin turned pallid.

2. Primary face references

While I was not aiming for a specific likeness, I wanted to gather references of quite gaunt and aged male faces. It turned out that Peter Cushing's face was especially good as reference, as he had the long, hollow-cheeked face anatomy I was after.

When it comes to faces, I always find myself returning to the main cast of characters from Dragon Age: Inquisition for inspiration (I also just love this game in general, to be honest). I find the character work in that game to be an excellent example of exaggerating facial anatomy just enough to convey and emphasise personality and character, but not so far as to feel uncanny, and to fit into the rest of the art direction of the game which is, for the most part, realistic.

I used a 3DScanStore diffuse and displacement pack for this project. All of the UVs of their heads and texture packs are the same, and they provide a free head base mesh (with the same UVs), which I wrapped onto the surface of the face highpoly sculpt using the SoftWrap blender addon (Other methods include Zwrap and even Houdini). After wrapping this face base mesh to match the base sculpt as closely and cleanly as possible, you can throw on 3DScanStore's displacement and/or diffuse maps onto the mesh, with the added benefit of now having much better face topology.

I really love this technique, as 3DScanStore's scan data is very good quality and straightforward to use. The diffuse map is an excellent base for texturing later. While scan data displacement maps can be useful as a finishing touch, it's important to keep in mind that a face still needs to read well at a primary and secondary form level before tertiary details are added.

3. Hair reference material

The hair provided a unique challenge. While the hairstyle was not complex, finding photographic reference for a tonsure was difficult. I ended up looking to a lot of historical paintings and illustrations. Using illustrations as reference has an added benefit of giving insight into how the hairstyle might be interpreted artistically, though this would be ideally supplemented by thorough photographic reference.

I sometimes find it useful to quickly sketch over a 3D work in progress to visualise my next steps (I did the same thing for my Guardian project!). It's a way of testing a visual idea without getting bogged down with how slow 3D iteration can often be.

I might revisit the hair a tad a later date once the character is posed, as I'm not totally satisfied with it. It might also be a chance for me to test how iterative and non-destructive I can make the posing process later on.

4. Horn surface details

Sometimes I like to find inspiration in abstract, natural textures and shapes, especially when facing a bit of an art block about a part of a design/character. As pictured above, the design for the horns changed a bit. The previous iteration was fine, but I felt it was reading a bit dragon-scale-like and I had, admittedly, failed to look at much ref for it, so it was feeling a bit uninspired. I could've changed them to look more like conventional goat/Caprinae horns, but I figured I might as well try how they'd look with a texture inspired by the bark texture pictured above. These shaped flowed with the direction of the horns, as if they'd grown directionally out of the head, which is something I'd wanted to evoke.

Pictured below are some other examples of abstract textures and shapes (generally from my mood boards, not necessarily for this project) that could be sources of inspiration when art block hits. It's very easy to get caught up in things and forget that a lot of art is fundamentally about shapes, colours and textures.

5. Spectacles

Simple ref for some wooden spectacles. My initial concept didn't include these, but as I began to design the design in 3D, I soon realised spectacles would be helpful signifiers of a scholarly archetype. Also makes him a bit more distinct as a character design.

6. Vibe Check

These paintings and illustrations, from a variety of time periods, will be more relevant later into the project when I think about my final presentation, but I keep them here in my Pureref as a reminder of imagery and a general vibe I'd like to try to evoke. This keeps me focused on a visual goal, which proves to be important when working on a concept that's changing frequently.

Developing Productive & Sustainable Habits

Before now, when I've worked on self-driven projects, they have primarily been for university assignments, which had a solid deadline, and I could work towards full-time. Since finishing university and starting a full-time job, figuring out how to weave in time for personal work, and how to push that work as far as I can visually, has been something to adapt to.

The following are various habits I've tried to make an active effort to implement to better achieve these goals:

Not waiting for inspiration to hit like a lightning strike, and instead scheduling time to dedicate to personal work. Obviously, the most rewarding experience in working on art is when you're in a flow state and completely lost in the moment, often right after you've made a breakthrough or are otherwise intensely inspired and moved to create. The kind of flow state where you look down at the clock and it's somehow already 3am. These moments are awesome, but are unsustainable to depend on in the long term. Making time, even if it's only a couple of hours at a time, over a long time, is better for your work and your life (at least in my case!).

Coming back to it with fresh eyes. Whenever I'm working on personal work, I like to take progress screenshots and post them in a personal Discord server at the end of every session I spend on it. This means I can look back at it on my phone or wherever whenever I need. And sometimes it's good to not look back on it until a day or two has passed, because with fresh eyes errors are glaringly obvious. In working on a face, like I have so far with this project, I found this to be especially important, as I'm still fairly novice at facial anatomy so my eye for what does and doesn't look right is still developing.

Seeking feedback. Admittedly, this is something I could've done better with this project so far, but getting input from others is invaluable.

Inspiration is more than the Artstation front page. This one is important, and I really mean it. It's a topic deserving of an entire blog post, but I think it's important for game artists to look beyond other games/game-adjacent media for inspiration. Watch fashion shows, go to museums, read some books, watch some documentaries, go to a contemporary art exhibition, watch some theatre - literally whatever. I recently read Lent by Jo Walton (and loved it) which, while I didn't read for this project, it ended up being massively inspirational; the book's detailed descriptions of the life of a monk in 15th century Italy reinvigorated me when I'd hit a lull with this work.

That's all for now (: I hope to be able to share more updates on this project soon! Thanks for reading!

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apparently-artless · 5 months

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haii hii art how are you !!! i just wanted to let you know that after 17364748436 years of procrastination i finally watched the one piece live action!! I wanted to lyk earlier, but i procrastinated (again) ALSO. i read a few chapters of the goofy boss manga and they are so cute omg????

Andd, if it's not much of a bother can you recommend more stuff like webtoons that yoy like !! Somehow all your recs are super fun to read,, so if its not a problem can you rec some more stuff hehe :3

^ a cat for yuor troubles

hi, mimi! thank you for sending me a message! and that's a super cute cat by the way! what's the name?? send me a gentle pat on the head, will you? i don't have one so i can only look at cat pics and videos of other people. (︶︹︺) and make gifs of that tsundere cat, hakutou. lol

anyway, did you enjoy one piece? i had fun watching it. not the best live action out there for me but considering it's one piece, i'd say the cast did a wonderful job. it's also nice to know you already tried the goofy boss manga!! they are all super adorable and just heal your soul. ^^

as for webtoons, i do have some i can recommend:

Devil Number 4 - a devil and a young woman formed a "contract" in exchange for her soul. it's a cute story, has some plot twists here and there and the story of the other characters are interesting too. this is already completed so you don't have to wait for the new chapters. i might reread this again.

Interview with a Murderer by Queensa - this one's BL. as the title suggests, one of the MC is a serial killer and the other character is a journalist. but if you are not comfortable with serial killers and psychological thrillers, feel free to ignore this one. this one is just one of my favourite BL webtoons so i might as well include it in the list. this is only around 60+ chapters and the ending felt a bit rushed. and because the story is so good, i would've preferred if there were a few more chapters or at least some side stories.

Eleceed - imagine Study Group but give the students powers, enemies of today become friends of tomorrow. this series is pretty much addicting. when i finished reading up to the latest, i ended up rereading my favourite parts. and the relationship of the main character with his friends is so good.

Bring the Love by Zestkyo - this one's my ultimate favourite romance webtoon. i must admit, i am not a superfan of series that focuses heavily on romance, but this one is just the best romance story for me. season 1 is already completed and season 2 is still ongoing. i also lost count of the number of times i reread my favourite scenes. this one's historical (13th century setting) so just a heads-up in case this setting is not your cup of tea. and oh, there are lgbt couples here, too!

these are what i recommend for now! i am still reading eleceed and bring the love, but devil number 4 and interview with a murderer are both completed. i hope this helps! (￣▽￣*)ゞ

last but not the least! i would also like to recommend another manga series, kyuujitsu no warumono-san (mr. villain's day-off). it's also a light-hearted, soul-healing series. and this is getting anime and broadcast starts in january. you may also watch this through my gifs since i will definitely be making edits for this one. lol

#manhwa #webtoons #webtoon recommendation #manhwa recommendation #devil number 4 #interview with a murderer #eleceed #bring the love #art answers #reply #lovely lovely mutuals #llm: amia 🌸

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lovesongbracket · 1 year

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Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Lay All Your Love On Me

Written By: Björn Ulvaeus & Benny Andersson

Artist: ABBA

Released: 1981

Cover included: Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper for Mamma Mia!, 2008

“Lay All Your Love On Me” explores the high emotions and passions that can emerge when falling in love, and documents one woman’s shift into erratic behaviors as she falls under the spell of her new lover. The song hit number one in the US dance charts in 1981, but has lasted in popularity over the years, becoming an ABBA staple. It was featured in the band’s jukebox musical (and its movie adaption), Mamma Mia, and in 2006 was named the 60th greatest dance song of all time by Slant magazine.

[Verse 1] I wasn't jealous before we met Now every woman I see is a potential threat And I'm possessive, it isn't nice You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice [Pre-Chorus] But now it isn't true Now everything is new And all I've learned has overturned I beg of you [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me [Verse 2] It was like shooting a sitting duck A little small talk, a smile, and baby, I was stuck I still don't know what you've done with me A grown-up woman should never fall so easily [Pre-Chorus] I feel a kind of fear When I don't have you near Unsatisfied, I skip my pride I beg you, dear [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me [Verse 3] I've had a few little love affairs They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce I used to think that was sensible It makes the truth even more incomprehensible [Pre-Chorus] 'Cause everything is new And everything is you And all I've learned has overturned What can I do? [Chorus] Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me Don't go sharing your devotion Lay all your love on me Don't go wasting your emotion Lay all your love on me

youtube

Demolition Lovers

Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way

Artist: My Chemical Romance

Released: 2002

youtube

#polls #poll tournament #poll bracket #tournament #bracket #lovesongbracket #round5 #lay all your love on me #abba #demolition lovers #my chemical romance #Youtube

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candetuft · 1 year

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i wrote a Crocodile x Mihawk fanfic a few months ago for a gift exchange, but i only just realized i never posted it on here! i quite like the story so i thought i'd share it here too ♡

it's a fantasy AU that includes magic and a lot of canon divergence!! there is no mention of devil fruits.

word count: 2,770

tags/warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, very slight enemies to lovers, romance, NO SMUT.

Chapter 1: Daisy (purity, new beginnings)

Back then there were whispers amongst the townsfolk, echos of strange beasts had rung through the streets. Rumors of a wicked creature, half man, half alligator, roaming the city streets, spread like wildfire. Even humans and other creatures outside of the city had heard about it. At the time they rang hollow, not a single soul believed said rumors. It was more like a bedtime story they told their kids. They continued to trudge on with their lives.

That was until one faithful day..

The sun was just starting to set. A faun, known only to some, as Mihawk, had been wandering around the forest when he decided to see what another part of this forest would have to offer him.

He came across a lake. It was a great lake, surrounded by lots of greenery, Mihawk could even spot a few fish in the water. He carefully approached the water, curious about it's inhabitants, when suddenly, something leapt out of the water and grabbed his hoof.

A single strong hand enveloped his furry leg, pulling him into the water. Mihawk fell to the ground, dropping the foraging basket he had been wearing. He swiftly turned around and attempted to crawl away from his attacker.

Mihawk looked over his shoulder to see two human arms emerged from the water, one of which was without a hand. Through the algae and plants, he could vaguely make out the rest of the person currently grasping his leg. Mihawk kicked the ambusher using his free leg until they finally let go.

Mihawk turned back around and crawled back a little, his chest heaving from the intense situation he was in just a moment ago. The man who had been attempting to pull him into the water emerged from the water, wanting to get a good look at the prey that just escaped from him.

He wore tattered clothes that looked familiar to Mihawk, he guessed it was some type of uniform. His face had fury written all over it, which quickly turned to shock upon seeing the rest of Mihawk's body.

Their eyes met, Mihawk managed to keep his cool. His attacker was horrified at what he would've done if his potential prey hadn't escaped his grasp. He felt a strange anger bubbling up inside himself at the thought.

Mihawk continued to stare at him when the man crawled towards him a little, revealing more of his body. He thought of running away, but something about the half submerged man intrigued him.

He tried his best to look intimidating, baring his teeth and digging his fingers, which were adorned with sharp nails, into the soft ground. Mihawk didn't give into the man's attempt to scare him away. If anything, it made him want to stay more.

"Why the hell aren't you running? You were my prey just a moment ago!" the man snarled. Mihawk reached over to his foraging basket and took a few berries out of it. He put one in his mouth, then threw a couple at the man in front of him.

He impressively caught the berries with his teeth, careful to not bite down on them until he was sure Mihawk swallowed his.

"You intrigue me.", Mihawk admitted flatly before pulling the basket closer to him and grabbing another berry.

The man lowered his guard a little. "Getting to know me would be more trouble than it's worth, run along now," he slowly crept back into the water. Mihawk shuffled towards him in response.

"I can't say I have much to lose," he ran his fingers through the wet grass beneath him, "I do not have a home, I could simply up and leave if need be."

The man glared at him. He was considering opening up to the faun, just slightly, though he wasn't convinced. "You're not from the city, are you?", he asked, despite already knowing the answer.

"I cross path with townspeople occasionally, however, I rarely speak to them." Mihawk reached his hand out to the man in the water. "My name is Mihawk."

He was taken aback, yet he kept his composure. "Crocodile." he finally whispered, shaking Mihawk's hand.

Mihawk nodded. "Well, Crocodile, what do you say to sharing these berries with me?" He shifted to sit more comfortably. "If I had to guess I'd say you haven't been very lucky when it comes to gathering food."

Crocodile growled in response to Mihawk's teasing. He thought it'd feel humiliating to accept the offer, but it felt so sincere. There wasn't a hint of mockery in Mihawk's initial request.

The faun positioned the basket containing the berries in between himself and Crocodile, and took a handful for himself to eat. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you here, in this lake?", he queried.

Crocodile put a few berries in his mouth and huffed. He pulled himself out of the water a little more to reveal his lower back and legs. To Mihawk's surprise, they were adorned with green scales, the lower half of his body was that of an alligator.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked after he swallowed the berries. "I suppose so, though I do have an additional question now" Mihawk responded, rolling a berry between his finger before putting it in his mouth.

Crocodile raised an eyebrow at him. "Go on." he encouraged. "How did you end up like that?", Mihawk asked bluntly.

Crocodile chuckled gruffly. "What makes you feel the need to ask me that?" he snarled. "You've got goat legs, you're not much better than me."

"Fauns are a legitimate species, I don't think I have ever heard of a species that is half man, half alligator." Mihawk teased. He didn't let up when he saw Crocodile's furious expression.

"I don't think you have any reason to know." Crocodile snarled, descending back into the water. "Fine," Mihawk crawled closer to the lake. "But please, let me share these berries with you."

Crocodile's head popped back out of the water, just enough for him to look at Mihawk. He wasn't exactly in a position to refuse food, so he reluctantly came back out.

They spent the rest of the evening eating together and getting to know each other, although Crocodile didn't give away much of his past. Instead, he listened to Mihawk's stories of all the places he had visited and all the miraculous things he's seen.

Mihawk promised he'd continue to visit Crocodile and bring him food, and so he did. Every day, when the start would start to set, Mihawk would come galloping to the lake Crocodile resided in, and they would share a meal together.

Chapter 2: Hydrangea (honesty, deep understanding)

Mihawk had kept his promise, occasionally even bringing Crocodile baked goods he bought in the city. It was bittersweet to Crocodile, he appreciated being able to indulge in the pleasantries he knew before, but it was also a harsh reminder that he wasn't welcome in the city anymore.

Mihawk made attempts to get to know more about Crocodile's past, but to no avail. However, Mihawk's persistence never wavered. Every time they shared a meal, he would ask something about what Crocodile's life was like previously.

Crocodile rejected his intrusions, brushing them aside and shooting down every chance Mihawk thought he had to inquire. He guarded his feelings and kept his past shrouded in mystery, he locked those thoughts away in his own mind so that he would not have to relive it and instead chose to run away.

However, as the days rolled into one his guard slowly and ever so slightly began to weaken due to the fauns undying persistence. Finally, there came a day when the curious outsider would get what he'd been hoping for.

Mihawk brought an assortment of food; blueberries, strawberries, even some apples from the market, along with some bread and tomatoes.

He kneeled down beside the lake, in the shade, where Crocodile was patiently waiting, and set the meal he had collected in front of him.

Crocodile reached for a tomato and a piece of bread and let one of his sharp nails sink into the tomato in an attempt to cut it. "Here," Mihawk tapped his hand with the hilt of a knife, "Let me help you."

Crocodile handed the tomato to Mihawk, juice seeping out of the fruit, though neither of them cared. Mihawk cut the tomato into thick slices and handed one to Crocodile, which he ate with a piece of bread.

"How did you lose your hand anyway?" Mihawk asked, another attempt to discover the truth about Crocodile's past. He wasn't expecting a very detailed answer.

Crocodile sighed. "I used to be a knight for the king, his best if you ask me" he picked another tomato slice. "After one particularly rough battle, the doctors decided it was beyond saving and removed it."

Mihawk hummed, pleased with his constant prying finally leading to something. "A knight, you say?" he leaned in closer.

"Happy I finally gave you what you wanted?" Crocodile teased.

"Somewhat" Mihawk lowered himself onto his side, balancing on an elbow. "I'm sure there's more"

Crocodile inhaled sharply and glared at Mihawk. "When will you finally give up?" he asked, despite already knowing the answer.

"Never" Mihawk smirked. "Of course you won't." Crocodile crawled out of the water and laid himself down in the grass, similarly to the way Mihawk had.

Mihawk snickered before putting a strawberry in his mouth. He nodded, signaling Crocodile to tell him more.

"As I said, I was the best knight the king had, I was even in charge of the other knights" Crocodile poked at his piece of bread, avoiding Mihawk's gaze, "Some even trusted me more than they did the king."

"That sounds like quite the bountiful career you had." Mihawk ran his fingers through his black hair. "I assume you weren't..like this yet?" he bluntly asked.

Crocodile was slightly annoyed by the comment, but knew Mihawk wasn't trying to be rude. "No, I was not" he sighed. "I was really close to the king, some people, the court jester in particular, were quite jealous of that", he explained.

His brow furled as he reflected back on his past, the hesitation he felt was sensed by the faun, who could see him wrestling with his emotions.

Eventually, he took a deep breath and images flashed across his mind, broken up by yelling and the clashing of blades. The wicked laugh of the king's court jester echoed through Crocodile's mind as he tried to piece together the plot against him, as shards of his memory formed he could picture the terrified look on the kings face. Unfairly directed at him.

Mihawk was now sat upright, listening intently, coming to learn and understand the tragic origins of the man laid out before him, whose dark eyes welled up with tears.

"He acted as if I was a threat to the king" Crocodile's voice wavered, something Mihawk hadn't been expecting. "He cast a spell on me to turn me into this beast." he grunted bitterly.

Crocodile remembered the jester's face, his smirk mocking him as he forever changed the course of the knight's life. He had grown used to people being jealous of the strong bond between the king and himself, still, the betrayal came as a shock to him.

Mihawk gripped the grass with gentle hands. "Is there no way for you to return to your former life?" Crocodile regretfully shook his head. "Doubt they'd want me back now."

Mihawk had heard the stories, though he didn't realize until this very moment that those rumors were about Crocodile. He wanted to encourage him to try, to clear things up and get his old life back, but he also understood that Crocodile likely preferred to leave that part of his life behind him.

Mihawk didn't say another word, nor did Crocodile. They both finished the food in a comfortable silence. When they were done, Mihawk packed up his things, patted Crocodile on the back, and left the lake area, just like he always did.

Chapter 3: Forget-Me-Not (true love, deep compassion)

The following day, Crocodile kept thinking about his short conversation with Mihawk from the day before. Despite the small amount of words that were exchanged, it meant a lot to Crocodile. Not in a million years would he have thought to find someone so understanding, someone who didn't judge him in the slightest.

That evening, he waited patiently for Mihawk to show up again, excited to see him again as he now felt an even deeper bond with the faun. He waited for hours, but Mihawk never came. He gave it the benefit of the doubt and assumed Mihawk had some matters to attend to.

The next day Crocodile once again found himself waiting for his friend until the sun had set. He started getting worried. Either something had happened to Mihawk, or he didn't react as positively to Crocodile's story as he might have thought. Perhaps Crocodile was destined to be alone.

He told himself it was bound to happen, that he should not have let Mihawk in and gotten his hopes up. He tried to accept it and forget about Mihawk, yet he still hoped he'd show up again, perhaps out of habit.

A week went by with no sign of Mihawk, Crocodile felt lonelier than ever, still wishing the faun's absence was a mere coincidence. That night, he fell asleep at the edge of the lake, in the same spot he was in when their gazes first met.

The next morning he woke up to the sound of bushes rustling. He darted back into the water, fearing the worst.

"Calm down, it's just me." a familiar voice rejoiced. Crocodile swiftly turned to the voice, and to his surprise, Mihawk had returned, albeit quite a lot earlier in the day than usual.

"What happened?" Crocodile longingly crawled towards Mihawk "Why did you disappear for a week?"

"Well" Mihawk kneeled in front of Crocodile, no more than two meters seperating them, "It's the fourteenth of February."

Crocodile's face contorted with confusion. "What does that mean to you?"

Mihawk laid a blanket out on the grass, it was made of several pieces of fabric, it mostly contained gold, pink and green, along with lots of hearts. "I went into town the morning after our conversation about your past" he carefully straightened out the edges of the blanket, "I was informed of the significance of the fourteenth of February..Valentine's Day," he redirected his eyes to meet Crocodile's.

Crocodile's cheeks were now adorned with a rosy hue, giving away how charmed he was by Mihawk's care for human traditions. Mihawk chuckled in response. He reached behind his basket, which was clearly filled with food, to grab a bouquet of flowers.

"Will you be my Valentine?", Mihawk requested, his voice silvery and soft. Crocodile fought the tears threatening to spill from his eyes as a smile tugged at his lips.

"The answer has been 'yes' from the moment our gazes met."

He accepted the bouquet, his right hand fortunately being the only option to receive it with, examining all the flowers in the bunch, he recognized roses, chrysanthemums, and salvia around the edges, all three a gorgeous red colour, tied together with a charming bow.

Crocodile gave up on the hopeless fight and simply let the tears fall, too happy to even care. Mihawk crawled closer to him and took his head in his hands, carefully wiping his joyful tears. He smiled softly. Never before had either man experienced a bond like this, it felt so simple, yet so overwhelmingly perfect.

Mihawk's thumb grazed Crocodile's lips. "May I?", he gently asked. Crocodile laid the beautiful bouquet on the blanket, beside Mihawk, nodded, and leaned into him. Mihawk, still holding Crocodile's face in his hands, pressed his lips against his lover's. Crocodile wrapped his arms around Mihawk's waist, while Mihawk let one hand settle around Crocodile's neck.

The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity, until both men pulled away for air. Mihawk slipped his hands around Crocodile's waist and pulled him even closer. Crocodile pressed a few kisses against Mihawk's neck before resting his head on the faun's chest.

Mihawk gently ran his fingers through Crocodile's damp hair as he remembered all of the rumours he had heard. The townspeople had described the knight as a vicious man, one whose vocabulary did not include failure or mercy, but when he looked at the man nestled against himself, he could not see any of that. There was no trace of the monster they whispered about, save perhaps the rugged scutes running up his back.

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #crocodile #crocodile one piece #dracule mihawk #mihawk one piece #fantasy au #fan fiction #crocodile x mihawk #mihawk x crocodile #dracule mihawk x crocodile

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jelly1799 · 2 years

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Lived

By making a deal with the devil, for a certain amount of time you can gain immense power. In exchange when the time is up, the devil claims your life.

A good person would never make a deal with the devil. That's why he goes after people who have hit rock bottom...

"Get out of here, Low!" Kookie whispers handing me my stuff and pushing me into the right direction. "I'll meet you in our usual spot."

I'm scared as hell, I can hear the looming steps approaching, the smell of grape black and mild filling my nose, as my heart starts to race and my hands shake as I grip the stair railing making my way down carefully.

The top stairwell door opens with a loud bang just as I slip out the bottom one. There's a soft mist being blown by the wind, but not enough to drench my clothes. I'm making record time down the road, my feet automatically knowing the route I've taken so many times.

It's when my feet step on the cracked raised sidewalk that I know I need to turn left, my heart starts to relax when I hear the hum of the giant electro box, I pull the bag off my back and sit down on the cool slightly damp grass as I wait.

Only the sound of the bugs and trees rustling can be heard as I wait for my only friend. I've counted to 60 at least 120 times trying to keep track of how long I've been waiting. Kookie never takes this long he's always been able to escape our foster parents with ease.

I had been with them for years alone before they took him in for another check. He was a small scared boy and never spoke to me despite my best efforts, but it all changed when he got caught sneaking food in the kitchen and I took the blame. They beat me hard that night to teach me a lesson and scare him, but that night he finally spoke to me and crawled into my bed saying that's the first time someone ever looked out for him.

As we grew older we both received our fair share of beatings, but we grew closer. Two peas in a pod, there was never a time we weren't together looking out for each other. He got bigger and stronger and stopped allowing them to hit me, he would often step in taking the brunt of everything so I could escape.

Kookie had been working a part-time job, and I'd been begging on the street for a year saving up everything we could get. Today was the day, we would take all we had earned, hope on the first bus out of here, and never look back.

If only I didn't get lost on the way home, Kookie wouldn't have had to come looking for me. Our foster father wouldn't have caught us in the middle of packing and we would have made it out before they were the wiser.

I hear rustling and the snapping of twigs. "Kookie?"

The loud stomping is a dead giveaway that is not Kookie and the smell of whiskey and grape is enough to make my stomach turn. I scramble trying to tug on my backpack and get to my feet but my hair is yanked harshly and I can feel his hot breath on my face.

"You fucking useless piece of shit! Low you thought you could just leave with him?!" he shouts and I recoil as his hand grips onto my arm his nails digging into my tender flesh.

"Where is he?" I ask scared when he starts laughing.

"Gone," just one word is uttered and I feel my soul break.

I go numb, his beating, I don't feel it; his ugly words, I don't hear them. I wish they would just kill me too as I lay on the floor of the cold room. I don't even know how many days have passed, there's no one left to tell me, no one left to protect me.

We were supposed to get out of here, we were going to travel the world, he was going to be my eyes for the outside world, but now he's gone and it's my fault. I brought him down, if he didn't have to look out for me, he would have made it out.

I can give you eyes.

His honeyed voice sounds from inside my skull. Surprisingly, I'm not scared, what could be worse than the hell I'm already living?

"You'll make it so my eyes can see?" I speak out loud, but the voice I hear sounds nothing like my own. It's hoarse, barely a sound at all, devoid of all emotion.

Yeah. If you make a deal with me, I'll become your eyes.

"Nothing in life is for free. What's the catch?"

Is it not obvious? Your life in exchange for ten years of me being your eyes.

What's my life worth, honestly? I'd rather have ten years of being free than the rest of my life stuck in this hell.

"I'll do it, I'll take the deal!" I say quickly, afraid to lose this opportunity.

There's a loud pop in my ears and my eyes sting, I clench them closed.

Open your eyes, Harlow.

I'm greeted by the darkness, nothing has changed, it didn't work.

Get up and open the curtain.

I slowly stand and all the joints in my legs pop and snap as I try to pull my measly weight up. It takes me a few moments, my body aches with each step, but I get up and walk slowly to the window. I push the curtain aside and I inhale a breath, it's beautiful, a perfect midnight velvet under stars the twinkle so brightly before my new eyes.

I'm pulled back from my trance when I hear them fighting in the living room, things are being thrown around, and then the loud bang of their bedroom door. I know what's going to follow, they won't be leaving the room for some hours. Now is my chance.

I quietly make it to the corner of the room where the bag Kookie had packed for me lay. My eyes well up as I finally glimpse it, he had told me it was purple, as I listened to the etching sounds the markers made against the fabric of the backpack.

We would lay for hours when they would lock us in the room, Kookie had bought two fabric pens and would describe each and every planet and constellation he drew. He was used to spending time in the school library, reading and memorizing the history and order of the stars.

I blink away my tears and sling the backpack to my front. Creaking open the door, I tiptoe into the kitchen. I try to keep my rustling to a minimum as I fill the bag with whatever snacks would fit along with the few clothes I had.

What are you doing in the middle of the night?

"I'm getting out of here. I'm going to go somewhere far, far away," I whisper.

I sneak out of the house and follow my usual route.

┈┈┈┈ Ψ ┈┈┈┈•

"Let's make camp here today!" I say out loud and place my hands on my waist impressed with the distance I've covered.

It's been a few weeks and I've somehow found myself on the Pacific Crest Trail. I've acquired more items to be able to survive out on this trail and have been trying to make it to the end for weeks now. My mind buddy is awfully silent during the day, but late at night, he tends to chat a little more.

"What should I call you?" I asked pulling out the small sketchbook and pencils I bought at the last outpost.

I have been called several names, but the most common would be Devil.

"I don't think that suits you. You're my angel, you gave me a chance at life," I ponder names for him as I start to haphazardly draw the mountains I can make out in front of me.

I was an angel long ago.

"You're still my angel, Lived."

Lived?

"It's your new name! Since devil backwards is Lived!" I say cheerily as I try and capture the shading the setting sun is casting on the mountains.

Such foolishness...

"You allow me to live, I think it suits you a lot," I say placing my book down and starting a campfire.

Hmm.

He goes silent while I cook and eat my food. The stars are outshining their best once the night falls. I recognize a few that are drawn on my tattered backpack. I pull my book onto my lap, letting the orange hue of the firelight up my blank page as I start trying to capture the night sky.

What a terrible drawing.

"Drawing is so fun though..." I say holding the pencil in my fist trying to keep steady.

"I'm so happy now that I can see."

Being able to see does nothing for your drawing skills, Harlow.

I chuckle at his insult but don't take it to heart. He's absolutely right, I'm a terrible drawer, but I want to capture everything I can finally see.

"I've decided on something, Lived."

What's that?

"I'm going to see all sorts of places around the world with these eyes! Then I'm going to draw it all!"

Even if your drawings are never appreciated by anyone?

"Even then, I'm not drawing for anyone else but myself," I say as I smile down at my haphazard drawing.

I like your terrible drawings, Harlow.

"Would you describe yourself to me some time? So I can draw you?"

Maybe if your skills improve drastically.

"It's a deal then!" I say as I snuggle into my bedroll.

┈┈┈┈ Ψ ┈┈┈┈•

You sure had a lot of fun, these past ten years. I say as I finally leave Harlow's body taking our sight with me.

"That wasn't ten years, you liar..." she laughs trying to keep her breathing steady.

She's absolutely right, it has been 72 years since we have made our deal. I traveled all over the world with her, we saw the pyramids in Egypt, the waterfalls in Rio, the Han River in Seoul. We saw everything and everywhere she could think of and it was wonderful.

We saw her finally lay her long-lost friend to rest, we saw her heal and become stronger. We saw her drawing skills improve steadily and become loved around the world. We saw her fall in love with a young man named Taehyung. Then we saw how her world changed, from the places around her to the people around her...

The world I saw as your eyes, Harlow...was truly beautiful. I'll keep on watching till the end so you just take a nice long break.

"Thank you for letting me see the world till the end, Lived," she gasps out as her frail body starts to shut down.

You may call me Jimin.

I lean down and press a kiss to her wrinkled lips taking the life I was promised.

I pull away and see the drawing framed beside her hospital bed. It's a picture of us she drew after I described my features to her, she was most into my wings, which were the same as a crow's.

"Come on, Jimin!" her voice sounds from behind me.

"Now you can show me your world," I take her hand and lead her out of the room completing our deal.

┈┈┈┈ Ψ ┈┈┈┈•

#oneshots #bts jimn #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts one shot #devil #eyes #seeing #growth #living #life #lived #loss

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