#I'VE BEEN TRYING TO POST THIS THE WHOLE DAY 🙃 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr was named as a finalist in Lead411’s New York City Hot 125 in Aug 2010.

#I'VE BEEN TRYING TO POST THIS THE WHOLE DAY 🙃

pinkchrissysposts · 2 months

Text

"I can manifest anything and enter void that's a *fact* "- my future anons💅

Don't try just be without questioning,without any doubt and without worries. I've been testing law just for fun and I must say that being worried ruin everything. When you make assumption you have about yourself like "I can't manifest"you just accepted that as a FACT,you persist in that assumption without realizing it.

Here is an example from my personal experience,I unintentionally hold this assumption that "college is no different then school it's all same the teacher and professor complain about us to the parents",it's jus a random assumption I held,and not even a day later I saw this tiktok and insta reel saying school and college is no different,I know I manifested it at that moment cuz every time I held some kind of assumption about college or school I see this relatable pov videos. And me getting relatable videos is also an assumption.

So the whole point is don't try, just become that version of yourself. You can go and be like "Oh I can manifest with 24 hours" and accept that as a fact BOOM💥 there it is your new story. You wouldn't doubt it,you wouldn't question or worry about your facts.

Here is a weird assumption I have about myself I never EVER doubt it,so every time I start liking underrated singer or bands they just somehow become famous😀like BTS I've known them since "I Need You" Era 2015 and suddenly a year later they are become worldwide popular😀the way i was gatekeeping them from everyone but my assumption come to reality🙃 there are more,if I like some trend it becomes popular💀. Also notice how I had those assumption as a kid I was literally 12 or smth. Be as stubborn as a child when it comes to manifestation.

If such weird assumption can be a fact then why not getting free money be a fact,being a Shifter,always getting free food,anything can be a fact it if you hold and assumption and persist.

Even when you affirm,affirm them as FACTS,well cuz they are facts right.

Also you are not gaslighting yourself,you can give yourself your desires in your imagination and become that version of yourself in imagination which is your actual reality.

We should treat our assumptions as facts when we are manifesting because our assumptions are the seeds that we plant in our subconscious minds, and they are the foundation of our manifestations.

When we treat our assumptions as facts, we are essentially creating a strong impression in our subconscious minds that our assumptions are true. This makes it much more likely that our affirmations and visualizations will be accepted by our subconscious minds and that our manifestions will reflect on the 3d. Therefore, it is essential to treat our assumptions as facts when we are manifesting.

Edit: I'm still editing it,I can't seem to keep it in draft it post on own it's own💀

#affirmations #desired reality #law of assumption #neville goddard #manifesting #manifestation #placebo effect #self concept #law of manifestation #law of attraction #states #barbados #desire self

159 notes · View notes

jakeyt · 8 months

Text

Covet: Chapter 7 (Part 1 of 2)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); allusions to ~future happenings~...and that is all i'll say (enter at your own risk); smutty smutty smut; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex (lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter Word Count: 10.4k+

Covet Masterlist

a/n: hello, lovelies! i present to you the first half of chapter 7!

my personal life is crazy and my job is crazy (understatement). aaand the cherry on top: my dog chewed up my laptop cord this week! 🙃 that instance made my computer completely inaccessible (since i suck at keeping it charged) until today when the new charger arrived in the mail.

this is a shorter chapter than what i'm used to posting (and edited MUCH more lightly than what i’m used to), but the second half is not completely done yet!

i just felt like i needed to post something since i promised a chapter yesterday. i truly hate not keeping my word. hopefully this first part is enough to tie you over :)

ty to my sis @joshym for being a fucking amazing sister, talking through ideas w me, and proofreading for me (plus some) <3 ilysfm

and ty to @alwaysonthemend for being an a1 friend and supporting + encouraging me always. u r truly amazing & ilysm <3

(((the dream at the beginning of this chapter is alluding to something /extremely/ important that is coming in this story, and i've been dying for y'all to find out what is coming since day 1.......)))

soooo, all of this to say, i hope you enjoy the first half of chapter 7 <3

-🌼🌼🌼-

Screaming.

So much screaming.

In the dimness of the new dream, it seemed as though this obtuse, unintelligible screaming was coming from . . .you?

Why did you feel swollen?

And why was everything hurting?

There were also tears. Tears you felt coming from your tired eyes, rushing down your cheeks in steady tracks. Mass amounts of sweat exuded in hot beads from your forehead.

You tried to reach a hand up to wipe at your soaked face.

But the hand you were trying to move was stuck in a vice grip.

Looking over, you tried to decipher the person holding your hand so tight.

You were met with a familiar face, his eyebrows scrunched so tightly together. You’d seen them like that before. But now, it felt almost sacred seeing his concentration.

In your dreamscape, you couldn’t tell what was going on, but it seemed like a long time coming. All you knew was that this was an important moment. Pieces were clicking. A hole was being filled in your broken heart.

And this man with you —he could only do so much. It was bothering him. You could tell that much. His forehead, wet with sweat, from his own stress. His lip was shiny with perspiration, too . . .

Funnily enough, you noticed there was something else taking up residence on the handsome face you knew so well. . .

. . . a mustache?

Whose face was it? The dream-veil was still covering the distinction from you. . .he just felt so safe.

It seemed the mystery man was struggling with his inability to steal the pain from you. He didn’t want you feeling it. He wanted to feel it for you. He hated not being able to help you more.

This person, you knew that he was your anchor at this moment. Your only saving grace. The only person you wanted near you.

His long hair was pulled up.

Then, his soft voice helped you to fully see him through the veil of your dream.

Jake.

“You’ve got this,” he encouraged, his eyes locking with yours. His voice drenched you in relief and overwhelming comfort, in spite of your pained state. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this.”

But what was your current state? You couldn’t even distinguish . . .

Something in the back of your brain told you to look down. Why was there so much blood?

And why couldn’t you see your feet? Weird.

Suddenly, a loud scream tore through you again. You felt the scream in your muscles. In your bones. Damn. You felt it—everywhere. Sweat was exuding from every pore.

Tendrils of your hair were plastered to your forehead.

But in this position, with all you were feeling, you couldn’t be bothered to push the sticky hair away from your face. It was bothering the hell out of you, though.

This was all too much.

You didn’t need to worry long, though, because the man, now confirmed as Jake, reached up to smooth it away for you.

Oh, he was amazing.

But fuck—the pain.

Another scream ripped through you—

Fuckfuckfuckshitdamnfuuuuuck!—

Suddenly, you heard something from outside of your pain.

Your eyes flew to Jake, then to the sound.

It was coming from somewhere else.

Not this place.

It was grounding. It was reassuring — a steady, secure thrumming pulling you—

Your eyes shot open. Your body was sticky with sweat—reminiscent of that in your dream. (Thankfully, there wasn’t as much as there had been in your subconsciousness.)

Mostly, you were surprised by the lack of screaming. Screaming hadn't been what’d awoken you.

Strange.

No, it was the steadily thrumming heart below your hand, drawing you back to a safe reality.

That was the sound. What had pulled you back.

Jake’s warm, firm chest that held the steady beat was breathing full, sleeping breaths underneath you.

And a strong, comforting arm around you, keeping you close.

You took a minute to regain your current, real surroundings.

It was peaceful. Still.

The serenely sleeping man underneath you.

Your body was still on top of his, the only evidence from your dream being your body, which was sticky with sweat from your exertion in the dream. But other than that, everything was just. . . calm.

Everything was calm. Everything was okay.

You felt true peace. There wasn’t underlying stress from what had happened in your sleep.

It made you desperate to just focus on soaking up the feeling you were experiencing now.

You heard birds singing outside. The morning sun was peeking through the small opening of his black curtains. . .

And he was. . . Peace. Present. Real.

You had a hand laying on his chest, your cheek atop it, and the other arm, wrapped around his midsection.

The feeling was reminiscent of the satisfying feeling of finding a puzzle piece for which you’d been searching. And finally placing it where it belonged.

You used the hand that was resting with a cheek atop it, on Jake’s heated chest, to level your chin to turn and observe him.

His eyes fluttered behind his lids. His mouth was slightly ajar, his top row of teeth peeking slightly from behind his parted lips. You grinned at the way he had the slightest curve to his lips. . .not quite smiling, but almost. One of your favorite things about Jake’s mouth was how his top lip curled anytime he opened his mouth with a grin. And it curled just the same as he slept.

There were steady breaths, lifting your cheek slightly. You took a closer look at his other features. His sharp nose. . .not quite the same as Josh’s. No, Jake’s was just a tad bit rounder. But still sharp.

A handsome nose.

And. . . was that . . . A deviated septum? How was he not snoring?

Somehow, as if on cue, the slightest snore left him. It was only momentary, and it made a grin fit to your lips.

Your eyes flitted down, and your brain fully registered the feeling of being wrapped around his naked body. And fuck, it felt good. You took notice of how it felt to have your bare breasts pressed into his naked side and chest. It felt so right to be so close to him. To be skin to skin.

Your thigh was tucked between his, and when you moved to lay back against his chest, your thigh grazed his smooth sac. He was so neatly groomed.

Moving your leg again, just the slightest bit, you relished in the rousing feeling of being tucked into him. You felt the muscles in Jake’s thighs react to it. His stomach tensed underneath your arm. His dick twitched against your thigh.

You felt your entrance gather wetness, your body craving him.

A low moan came from Jake, accompanied by a deep breath through his nose and a hearty yawn, his chest rising beneath your hand.

He was awake.

And all of these noises he made, combined with his manhood against your leg made your heart rate increase.

Your core ached, where it was pressed against his skin.

When you looked up to survey him, you noticed he was already looking at you. His eyes, still hazy from sleep, but taking every piece of you in, nonetheless.

Your heart hammered in your chest.

“Hi,” he quietly initiated, his voice matching the quietness of the room with a soft timbre. A gentle grin flitted across his lips.

You could feel your cheeks heat. You didn’t know how to react to him being awake. It all became too real. The situation you were in.

Suddenly, it all came flying back to you that nothing had really been solved last night.

You tensed the slightest bit.

This was Jake. The roommate who’d been fucking with you in more ways than one since he’d crossed the threshold of your home.

You weren’t friends. Was he quite possibly the most sexy, fuckable man you’d ever met? Hell fuckin’ yeah.

But this couldn’t be right. The plan you’d had before to have it be a one time thing seemed the only logical thing to cross your mind at that moment.

Though, his eyes were begging for you, pulling you in, practically golden in the early morning sun.

Jake wasn’t all bad. Not even close, actually.

He’d been a hurting person. A healing person.

Recently enough, he’d shown a different, decent version of himself in little acts and things he’d say.

His eyes sparkled in the sun, showing you little pieces of him inside. Pieces you wanted to know.

And he was, undoubtedly, someone who drew you in.

Your mind was screaming at you.

Why do you keep fighting this, y/n?! You heard the small voice in your head berating you. Just let yourself enjoy something for once.

But—he was, by nature, an asshole. And the most unpredictable man you’d ever met.

And you couldn’t chance Josh finding out that you’d corrupted his brother’s dream. You were not doing to be that girl.

Though, try as a you might, a huge fucking part of you wanted to give in to the voice in your mind: savor the moment, soak it up a bit longer. Drown in him.

Let yourself explore. Fuck it all.

You saw him reach up to your head, and brush some hair behind your hair, lazily. Sweetly.

“Whose record player day is it?” He asked, continuing to play with your hair, making you lean in closer.

Fuck.

You squeezed your eyes shut at the sudden realization.

Records.

The Black and Gold.

You worked today. You’d almost forgotten.

So, before you could get more comfortable, and give any of this any more of a chance in your mind, you straightened and bolted upright.

His covers fell from your chest, and your skin goosebumped, your nipples peaking in the cool air of his room. You quickly covered yourself.

“Y/n?” He mumbled, his smooth voice still sleepy behind you as he grasped at your hip. You felt your skin tingle at his touch, your legs nearly trembling for him already.

He was so close. Your body was reeling at him being so near to you. If only you could stay with him.

Ignore any sensible thought.

Fuck.

“Shit,” you muttered, lunging further into the ruffled covers, fumbling around for your phone to check the time. Then it came to you. It was definitely still sitting in your purse, where you’d dropped it on the table the night before.

So, before you could think any better of it, you threw the covers completely off of you, bare, round ass jiggling as you ran to the dining table to grab your phone.

Why were you hoping he’d watched the natural sway of your ass as you’d left?

What in the fuck had you let yourself do last night? You knew what. But why?

And why had you let yourself lay there and savor this morning with Jake? Why had you allowed yourself to quite literally sink into him?

He’d been warm and welcoming, y/n, that’s why, your mind fluttered with a fluster of thoughts as it calmly spoke over you. You want him. It’s okay.

You shook your head at the thoughts, taking your phone, holding it to your chest and closing your bedroom door behind you to let yourself breathe.

Now was not the time to consider it.

You were trying to beat the clock to get to work.

But you needed a quick shower before you even started your day.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You had walked into the quaint little store, just in time to adjust to your surroundings before the clock struck 8 a.m., customers filtering through the door soon after, the bell chiming every time.

But, in the quiet times of the day, your mind kept shifting to the handsome, restful man you’d left behind that morning. What had he been thinking when you left?

Why did you have to leave? Why couldn’t you just accept the wonderful feelings tempting you?

Why did you even fucking care?

It was not worth the time or effort.

He’d shown his ass too many times. There were too many things to risk.

You were glad your shift at the Black and Gold had been there to tear you away before you could consider anything else.

As you checked out a sweet elderly couple and wished them on their way, your mind wandered to your dream.

What had that dream been about? It was taunting you, allusive and fleeting.

And Jake’s heartbeat, being what’d brought you back to reality.

It just wasn’t normal in the slightest for something like that to bring you back to real life.

You were used to waking with the same blood-curdling screams you’d emit in a dream. Granted, it had been awhile since you’d even had a screaming dream. Years, really.

Why the hell had you just had one again?

Every single time in the past you had had a dream with terrible screaming, you’d awoken with the screams, too.

But this time, your throat didn’t feel dry from waking with screams. Your mouth wasn’t open. Your body wasn’t tense.

And with how peacefully Jake had been slumbering beneath you, you’d used that as evidence that you hadn’t woken with screaming, too.

He would’ve heard it. You were loud.

One more thing—the screams from your dream hadn’t been like the screams from dreams past that had scared you. No, the screams from this fleeting dream had felt oddly fulfilling.

Like you were on the cusp of something wonderfully new.

The details from the dream were quickly trickling from your mind. Like a faucet you couldn’t turn off. Not staying put like your dreams normally would.

It was like your mind legitimately couldn’t hold onto this dream.

Huh.

All of it was honestly a very welcome change.

Since you were a little girl, you’d had extremely vivid dreams. They had a bad habit of sticking with you, haunting you more than you’d ever liked.

“The dreams are due to your trauma, sweetie,” a therapist had tried to soothe you once as a little girl. “You use your dreams as a means to escape your sad reality,” she’d assumed. You had tried to understand the counsel the best you could as a child. And then it had gotten even deeper, the therapist delving in. “You have a deep seeded want to control things. . . I mean, understandably, honey. . .and maybe, since your dreams are something you can create and control, it is the only time you feel you have some semblance of control over what’s going on.”

In the cushy chair across from the wrinkly counselor with bright red nail polish on her fingernails, you’d sat there, barely registering what it all meant. You had been eleven, for God’s sake.

So, when you left counseling that day, you had just shrugged it off. It didn’t make any sense to you as an eleven year old girl.

Your therapist had been an older woman with gray hair and kind eyes. She’d been nice enough. Your grandparents had taken you to her as a child.

For a year.

Religiously.

Sometimes, you and Elsie would attend together. Those were the best sessions. Other times, you two would swap therapy weeks. One week she’d go, the next week you would.

But you hated going without her. Being by yourself, you felt totally trapped, listening to words you really didn’t understand at all. Sometimes, Els could translate some of the things the therapist said that were more difficult for you to understand.

But sessions that got super deep? Too deep? You didn’t even care to ask Elsie. You didn’t want to. They always got pushed to the back of your mind.

It was just plain uncomfortable.

Back then, your dreams were much more frequent, and oftentimes turned into full-fledged nightmares. You were plagued by them. That alone had made you question your therapist saying it was a way for you to “control” things. You hadn’t felt any control in those “dreams”.

With those dreams (or nightmares, rather), you would wake up— crying, yelling, and thrashing around. Elsie was usually allowed to stay with you on those nights. . .and she would stay, combing through your hair, shushing you, until you would calm down enough to drift back to sleep, sobs sometimes still choking you as your eyes would close, back to a shaky sleep.

Now, as an adult, there weren’t as many nightmares as there were dreams. Some that made sense. Some that didn’t. Most of them, you remembered.

The main theme of all of your most recent dreams had been much more enjoyable than your dreams as a child. And the most recent ones. . .all of them had been about Jake. And they were always fun.

Fucking mind blowing.

But what in the hell had that last one been about? What was happening? Why were you screaming? The pain? And why was Jake there at all?

He wasn’t ever there for the bad dreams.

But had that one this morning been a bad one? You honestly couldn’t tell.

The remnants of it were leaving your headspace way too quickly for you to be able to give it much more thought, anyway.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Just as your shift was about to end, you saw a vinyl get placed on the counter, across from you.

An Evening With Silk Sonic.

And then you saw the perfectly manicured nails that tapped against the record.

You’d know those hands anywhere.

Your eyes flicked up to your sister’s deep blue ones.

Rounding the counter in no time, you were hugging her tightly to you. She smelled of vanilla shampoo and her go-to Bath and Bodyworks body spray. Champagne Toast.

Damn, being away from her sucked such ass. Being close to her again felt heavenly.

You separated from her, both of you leaning against the counter in the same way, at the same time. The store was occupied by only a few customers.

“What the fuck are you doing here, bitch?” You questioned her, laughing at the situation. What a fantastic surprise.

Strange, you’d been thinking of her all day, and now this had happened.

“What a shitty welcoming committee,” she giggled, too. You smiled. “Damn.”

Going around the counter, back to the register, you eyed the clock on the wall opposite you.

“Perfect timing, Els,” you commented, taking the vinyl to scan. You applied your employee discount, bagged it, and slid it back to her. “I’m off in like ten minutes. Also, you have this record already.”

She grinned. “Just felt like stopping by. And you are not one to judge for having vinyl dupes,” she winked. “I also might’ve gotten a text from Josh telling me of an upcoming show.”

Shock flooded you, a beam taking over your features. “Are you and Josh. . .?!”

“No,” she played with the handle of the bag. A quiet smile was on her face. Content, but obviously wanting. You knew her. “Just texting. But he asked if I’d come to this one happening tomorrow, and I figured: you only live once, it’s summer, and he’s hot as fuck. So I decided I should probably take him up on it.”

“Well, I’m a little hurt it’s not for me,” you joked.

“Get over it, bitch. You were my first stop,” she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll never forgive you. But I definitely support this whole Josh and Elsie thing,” you fist pumped the air. “Fuck yeah. About damn time you admit how you feel about him.”

She slapped your fist out of the air. And with a laugh on her lips, she added, “I’m going to see Grandma and Grandpa,” she grabbed her bag to go, already pushing the door to the store open.

“Els, I get off in less than ten minutes. Just wait,” you paused. “Also, what are you gonna do? Take a fucking Uber? Just wait for me and we’ll take my car.”

She groaned with a fake exasperated sigh. “Fine. But hurry,” she slung the bag over her arm, letting the bell chime as the door shut. She checked her phone, mindlessly scrolling as she added, “By the way, I’m staying with you.”

At first, you were excited.

And then, your heart jumped into your throat when you remembered what your sister would be walking right into.

Fuck.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You couldn’t remember for the life of you if he had rehearsal or worked tonight. Surely they didn’t have rehearsal since they’d just had a gig last night. That was practice enough for their show tomorrow.

But he did have the occasional client on Sundays.

As Elsie walked around one of your grandparents’ gardens with your Grandma, you stood to the side and pulled up the text thread between yourself and Jake.

A few blue bubbles on your end, with nothing from him.

See? This is why you shouldn’t pursue him, a bothersome voice perked up in your head. The same one that always convinced you out of him. He is flaky. Can’t even respond to texts.

And still, you typed yet another text to him that would most likely be ignored, too.

It was admittedly nerve-wracking to even think about sending the text. Your chest tightened, hands getting sweaty. Dumb. You weren’t a fucking teenager with a damned crush, for God’s sake.

You bit the bullet and sent him the text. You were an adult, dammit.

And so, the first thing you said to him since he’d fucked you into his mattress was:

You, 4:54 p.m.: Please don’t be home tonight. Find a place to go.

Well, that was real nice, y/n, said the other voice. The one that brought reassurance to your lingering, recurring feelings for Jake. Very sweet of you.

You still couldn’t decide if that voice was the devil or the angel.

You, 4:54 p.m.: Also, don’t you dare tell a soul about what happened last night.

And surprisingly, he texted back almost immediately. You got butterflies for God-knows-what reason. Ridiculous.

Had he been waiting for you to say something? No. Surely not.

Jake, 4:56 p.m.: Already had plans. But thanks for the instructions. Appreciate it

You growled quietly under your breath and narrowed your eyes at the screen.

Though you didn’t want to admit it, your stomach did drop the slightest bit at him saying he had other plans. Were the plans lessons with a client? A girl? A girl client?

Why did it matter? Ugh. Absolutely ridiculous.

You suppressed the juvenile train of thought and hastily typed back, holding tight to how he’d initially irritated you.

You, 4:57 p.m.: Are you going to fucking tell people? You better not.

Jake, 4:57 p.m.: No, y/n. I won’t tell Josh. jesus christ

You couldn’t believe him. Pouty ass. Always concerned with Josh this and Josh that. How was he so blind to even think—?!

Deciding you didn’t want to think about him, and rather enjoy time with your family, you clicked your phone off and stuffed it in your jeans pocket.

You didn’t need to worry about him for the time being, getting a decent enough response to your initial text.

But as you trailed after the sound of your Grandmother’s voice, locating her and Elsie, talking about her red roses, your mind went back to wondering. . .what were his plans?

-🌼🌼🌼-

“I swear to all that is holy if Silk Sonic doesn’t tour, I’m going to riot,” Elsie remarked as ‘After Last Night’ came on her shuffle.

You’d since pushed away your thoughts of your texts with Jake.

But now, this sexy song made your insides buzz. Your mind was clouded with flashes of your night ‘last night’.

The voice at the beginning echoed the bouts of thought that’d been following you around all day, desperate for you to keep up with them.

You’d been ignoring them all day.

You couldn’t help it when the featured woman’s voice enveloped you.

“Mmh,

Damn, I don't even know who I was last night,

It's just somethin' about you,

You just make me feel, mmh”

Fuck. All you could see was him. His face above you, how he felt moving in you, his hair sticking to his forehead with the delicious sweat he’d exuded.

But—thinking too much about it was a dangerous idea.

He was dangerous.

Better to leave it at what it was. One time.

You couldn’t deny wanting more of what happened last night, though. . .the feeling of him was addictive. He felt so damn good. . . moving his hips just right, hitting every spot possible within you.

But, you also couldn’t fully accept that things would be okay if you did give in to the (ludicrous) idea of more.

He was a jerk. And you couldn’t risk what Josh would think if he ever found out. Distracting his brother from his dream.

But dammit, the memories—shiiiit. If they weren’t tugging at you, tempting you. . .

The deep, brown irises that had looked so intimately into yours as he’d taken you. Your tight body welcoming him in, his room filled with combined whimpers and moans.

Your sister interrupted your thoughts with a deep sigh, followed by your usual shared sentiment about Bruno Mars. “Bruno can have me any fuckin’ way he wants. I will leave the door open, okay?”

But you were barely registering what she said, because your thoughts were finally giving way to being improperly preoccupied with your fucking roommate.

You’d done so well distracting yourself all day with the thoughts of your faded dream, work, Elsie, and your grandparents. . .but now that this song was on. . .

Your mind could only linger in the one place it wanted most of all.

Damn, he’d been incredible last night. Fuck, you thought, your body feeling alert and ready for him, all over again in this moment. The best I’ve ever, ever had.

He’d known exactly what he was doing. . .a fucking pro.

Your clit throbbed at the mere thought of how he’d felt licking at you, lapping up your release. . .

The things he’d said.

“That’s it, baby, that’s it. Let me have it.”

“I was fucking the mattress because I loved getting to tongue fuck the hell out of your perfect pussy.”

Fucking hell.

And then, when he’d been deep inside of you, stretching you out. . .

“So fucking tight.”

You crossed your legs, needing to control yourself in the presence of your sister. The friction of your jeans making it worse. Shit.

Then Jake’s smooth voice invaded your brain again.

“I love this fuckin’ view of you, y/n,” he’d groaned, you could still feel the way his breath hit your shoulder, his dick throbbing inside. “And the way you feel like this—goddamn.”

And then there were the soft things. . .the things he’d done and said that had totally made you feel like a girl with a little crush. The comments that made your tummy flutter.

“You are so fucking beautiful, y/n. Dammit,” he’d said it with awe in his velvety tone. His voice had even hitched on his next words. “This is— you are . . .,” he’d shaken his head, and he hadn’t ever been able to come up with the words.

You went back to that moment — where you’d been totally exposed to him, your wet center wrapped around him, his gaze not able to leave your heaving body. Vulnerability had never been your strong suit, but in that moment, more vulnerable than ever to him. . . It had been okay.

And in this moment, reeling at the thought of it all, you felt prepared to be that opened to him a thousand times over.

Shit.

And finally, there’d been after. . .

“Wanna see your face,” he’d sighed, rubbing at your shoulder, ready to see you after positively fucking ruining you.

Your skin heated, thinking back on the intimacy of the moments shared.

And afterwards, snuggling into him, you had decided so many things. The main thing being that you wanted him more than just that one time.

Why had you tried to convince yourself this morning that you couldn’t—?

And why were you still being a bitch to him over texts? Why were you insistent on not giving it a chance?

He’s a dick, y/n, the annoying, sensible voice echoed at you. And Josh would never forgive you.

Fuck. You were tired of the inner battle.

A hand against your shoulder, shaking you, brought you back to reality.

Holy shit. How had you escaped so fully?

“Earth to my fucking sister!” Elsie continued to move you, her hand grasping your arm.

You slapped her hand away. “Jesus fuck, Elsie,” you snapped at her, looking at your arm after she released it. “You’re going to leave fingerprints! Dammit.”

You were being dramatic, you knew this. She hadn’t gripped you that hard. But you were, admittedly, embarrassed you’d been so gone.

So you’d get onto Elsie instead of focusing on yourself and your sexy, fuckass roommate.

“Oh, shut the hell up, Little Miss Drama Queen,” she punched your shoulder. At your squeaky ‘ow!’, she just rolled her eyes. “You were literally absent. Nowhere near this car. La La Land. Just trying to get you the fuck back. I was talking to you.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes back at her to mask your flushed cheeks. “I’m sorry. Just out of it.”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“Mom?”

“No.”

“Did Grandpa say something mildly offensive to you when we were there just now?”

You laughed at that. He was definitely more than only mildly offensive. But it wasn’t him. Not even close.

“No.”

“Jake?”

Your silence answered for you. Shit.

Speak, y/n, speak!

How did she know?!

“What the fuck did he do now?” She sassed, glancing sideways at you for a few seconds.

Looking away, you dodged any of her accusing peeks. Needed to divert her. . .move on from her assumptions. Cover up the silence.

“Nothing,” you shifted down in your seat, your feet going up on the dash. “I didn’t even say it was him.”

“You didn’t have to.”

You looked out the window, pretending to be otherwise distracted. You hummed.

“When did Bruno spark your interest again?” You poked back, working to make her argue about something that wasn’t Jake related.

She scoffed. “As if he ever stopped sparking my—hey! No!” She scolded, smacking your arm lightly.

“What?!” You played dumb, rubbing your arm. “I just thought with you buying another record and with us listening—“

“Stop trying to distract me!” She clucked, stopping at a red light and turning the music down. You felt her eyes burning into the side of your skull as you stared out the windshield, now. “You little fuckin’ weasel. Don’t avoid the conversation.”

You huffed a dramatic breath. There were two drastically different parts of you feeling things right now.

One that wanted to tell Elsie absolutely everything, because you knew she’d be the voice of reason you so desperately needed.

And the other part that wanted you to be fair to what you’d asked of Jake. . .which would be to not tell her anything at all.

You were also not looking forward to the shit she’d give you if you were to bare your heart to her about this.

(Because, either way, you had a feeling you knew exactly what she’d say.)

“Elsie, it’s really nothi—.”

“Did you fuck him?”

Shit.

Your heart was racing.

Fuck. What would you say?

What would you do now?

And how did she do this shit?! She’d always been able to read you like a damn book.

You swallowed thickly.

And once again, you let your silence answer for you.

If you didn’t actually say anything, you weren’t technically telling her. . .right?

The light changed to green and minutes passed.

It was slightly awkward. Neither of you said a word until she pulled into a parking space at your complex.

Instead, she’d simply turned up the music in response to your silence.

And that was unlike her. Normally, she’d have something to quip back, right away. You weren’t used to her silence.

You were freaked out.

So, as you walked up the steps to your apartment, you decided you’d be an adult, and be the first person to say something.

“What do you want for dinner?” You asked, almost absentmindedly as you opened the door.

Better to act oblivious. Maybe it would go away.

She followed you in, meandering about, not acknowledging your question for a few minutes.

You tried again, muttering her name in question, “Els?”

She got up from her crouched position to pet Stevie, and when she rose, she looked you square in the eyes with a look that could only be described as pure irritation. Her eyes were blazing.

“What?” Elsie snapped, turning her back to you, hair swishing around her shoulders, then taking her bag to your room. Following her, you saw her plop her bag on the ground next to your bed. She hopped onto it, her feet dangling as she sat there, her eyes downcast. “Why didn’t you want to tell me?” She sounded sad, it made your heart lurch the slightest bit. And then her voice fired up again with her next question. “And why the fuck do you always act like a little puppy that’s been kicked when Jake comes up? What’s wrong with you?”

You couldn’t mask your offense.

“What’s wrong with me?!” You choked. “Why are you acting like this?”

She squeaked, her mouth gaping. “Why am I acting like this?! Why have you been so turned off to the idea of Jake since he came into the picture?”

“Oh, I definitely haven’t been turned off.”

It just slipped out. Shit.

“Ha!” She leaned forward, her elbows on her thighs as she leveled you with a stare. “Then why are you trying so damn hard to deny it?”

You decided it was pointless to reject that you’d said it. Better to just own it. She was the only person you could talk to about this, anyway.

And you needed to talk about it.

You momentarily felt bad for Jake that you’d closed him off to talking about it when you were about to let yourself.

He just couldn’t be trusted to not tell the wrong person . . . Aka his twin. The last person who ever needed to know.

Deciding you didn’t need to worry about it, you continued.

“I just can’t pursue it, Elsie. . .we’ve talked about this,” you sighed, going about taking off your jewelry, placing it delicately where it went every night. Except last night.

You changed out of your jeans and short sleeved button down, and into a pair of smaller comfy shorts and an oversized crop top, revealing the sliver of skin at your hips. Elsie’s eyebrow lifted at your choice in clothing, the lack of material covering your ass. Your eyes set firmly as you glared at her. “Shut up. I wear this kind of shit all the—.”

“Trying to impress your roommate with that ass?” She smirked with her question.

You rolled your eyes, flushing at being caught in your little game you’d caught yourself playing recently. You liked him looking at you.

Yes, but you don’t need to know that, you thought.

But she didn’t stay on it for long when she hopped off the bed to most likely dig in her bag for her own comfy clothes. When she pulled out leggings and a crop top, your suspicions were confirmed. She shut the door to your bedroom before she started changing, she smirked. “I don’t want Jake to see me naked, thank you very much.” Once fully changed, she went to put her hair up in a claw clip. You went to quip back, but she started speaking before you could. “You’re changing with the door open, for God’s sake. How many times have you sexed him up to feel comfortable enough to do that, y/n?”

You scoffed with an eye roll, putting your own hair up in a clip. “First of all, he’s not going to be here tonight. That’s why I changed with the door open,” you pulled a couple tendrils out to frame your face. Your thoughts pulled to the idea of seeing Jake with his hair up. . .now that was a thought. You just knew he’d look so good. “And secondly, we have only. . .done it once.”

“Done it?” She guffawed. “Oh my God, y/n. . . what is it about this man that makes you sound and act like a fucking teenager?”

Putting two hands against your face to cover it, you moaned in aggravation because now she had noticed how he made you act like a fucking school girl. Why did he have you down so bad?

“I don’t know!” You went to sit on the ground and lean against your bed. Bringing your legs up to your chest, you wrapped your arms around them. Your chin sat atop your knees, eyes following Elsie as she took her own jewelry off and threw it in her bag. She joined you next to your sulking form, positioning her body to be facing towards you, crossing her legs. “What do I do, Elsie?”

“Before we get into all of that, I have to ask. . . why are you being so melodramatic?” She inquired, seeming genuinely curious. “You’re making it this giant thing when it doesn’t need to be.”

Why were you making it so big? By doing that, you were giving whatever the hell this predicament was —giving Jake—way more power than necessary.

“I don’t know.”

She squinted at you, her patience obviously wearing thin. “Okay, I’m going to need more than ‘I don’t know’ over and over again. I can’t work with that. Let’s start with the bare bones: do you think he’s cute?”

You literally cackled at that.

“Really? Do I think he’s cute? That is such a juvenile way to—.”

“Well, you’re acting like a juvenile, so fair’s fair. Childish question for someone acting like a child.”

“Jesus. Ouch,” you responded, feeling slightly hurt. But you couldn’t deny seeing her point for exactly what it was.

She rolled her eyes. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

You decided you’d give her exactly what she wanted.

“Firstly, have you seen him?! He’s more than fucking cute, Elsie,” you dazed off, thinking of him. His Amber-brown eyes, his tanned skin, his flowing chestnut locks, and that handsome, sharp nose you’d admired when you’d woken up. And his body. . .fuck. “He’s fucking enigmatic. . .entrancing. . .a sex god. . .,” You lost yourself in the thought of him. The way he walked with so much purpose, how confident he looked on every stage he graced. . .and how all of that upheld in the bedroom. How he—

“Oh damn. . .he’s that good?” She could’ve been eating fuckin’ popcorn with how invested she was in this conversation. “Also, glad you’re not blind. He’s sexy as hell.”

You grinned, looking into the flecks of light filtering into your room with the evening sun. All of the things from last night. . .you felt them overwhelming your brain to help you explain. “He’s more than good. He is the perfect amount of rough and soft. . .he shows he cares about pleasing you with how purposeful—how intentional he is with every damn movement of his hips. . . And he just knew exactly where to hit inside—.”

“Oookay,” she put a hand up to stop you. Your eyes snapped up to her, realizing you’d lost yourself in thought. Your cheeks blushed of their own accord. “I’d love to hear the details, but also . . . Damn. I’ve never seen you so gotten.”

“Gotten? What is this, a Jane Austen novel?” You mocked, covering up how you’d let yourself get away. Absently, you wiped the heel of your palm against the corner of your mouth. You’d literally started drooling.

Embarrassing.

“Um, yeah, might as well be,” she raised a brow, smug. “And the Fifty Shades of Grey version at that.”

“We’ve only had sex once, Elsie,” you reminded. “And it didn’t involve any of that BDSM shit. I’d rather not be compared to that novel, by the way. There are much better books with much better smut.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she nodded. Her lips curled like the Grinch. “And it sounds like you could write your very own at this point, bitch.”

“Stop,” you shoved her shoulder. “It’s not even. . . It’s not anything. It shouldn’t happen again anyway. I need to just forget about it.”

All of that was a fucking lie. You wanted it to happen again. You never wanted to forget about it.

And it definitely wasn’t nothing.

And Elsie knew it. She growled, shifting up, standing from the ground. Her fists were curled. “Stop being a fucking idiot, y/n! Stop lying to yourself!”

“Idiot?! I’m not being—.”

She held up a finger to stop you. And you weren’t about to say any more. She looked determined to get her piece said.

“And it does mean something. You need to stop sulking and just have regular incredible sex with him,” she placed her clenched fists on her hips, her icy blue gaze penetrating your most stubborn thoughts. “Dammit, sis. Why are you being so obtuse about this?!”

You shrunk back, thinking of all she said. Your chest tightened. “There’s just so much at stake,” your regular thoughts invading. “And he’s inconsistent as hell.”

“Is the possibility of what Josh would think still holding you back? Because who says he has to know? Just keep it between the two of you,” she tucked a loose hair behind her ear, a twinkle in her eye with her smirk. “And me.”

You scoffed. “You’re the idiot,” you remarked, pushing yourself up to stand and lean the backs of your thighs against the bed. Crossing your arms, you gave her a look at the mess inside your mind. “And yes. I cannot chance him finding out. . .knowing what he’d think. I wouldn’t want him to think any differently of me. I’m also stuck on not letting this get in the way—.”

“Get in the way of his dream, yada yada yada . . . On that same bullshit,” she leveled you with a straight stare. “You know what I think of all that.”

“Yes, I do. But what if he does take it too far at some point? What if he lets his emotions become involved and it turns into more than what it is?” Well that was a new fear unlocked. And another was hurtling towards you. “What if I let the sex become more than sex?”

“Then you cut it off,” she reasoned, crossing her own arms. “Be friends with benefits. Don’t let feelings get involved. Have fun with it. . . Friends with benefits can be the best solution for two people dealing with stress,” a lightbulb went off in her head. “And when you’re friends with benefits, you don’t have to be consistent. So he’s good there.”

But what if you wanted him to be more consistent?

The nagging voice in your head came to life suddenly. No, y/n, you don’t care about that. Quit it.

You shook your head, ignoring it. “We aren’t friends,” you corrected.

“Even better.”

“And what am I stressed with?” You asked, knowing every single tiny thing that had been lurking in your mind as of late.

School. What you were going to do with life after school. Your mother.

And, of course, your gorgeous roommate.

But right now, it seemed awfully appealing to just drown it all out with sex. . . Toe-curling, back arching sex with said roommate.

“Something apparently,” she cut through your thoughts. “I don’t know what all is haunting your every thought, but it can’t be fun to live with. And I think letting yourself have something you want—which is obviously Jake’s dick—.”

“Elsie!”

“What?! You do! Let me finish,” she continued. “Letting yourself have something you want would be enough to ease some tension. Just give in. Don’t add one more thing to your plate to stress about when you could just let loose. Have fun while you’re still young and in college. It’s not as easy once it’s all over.”

Your eyes widened, as if she’d unlocked something in your brain. You were only young once.

The idea felt a little more acceptable.

The idea of just fucking him. Just enough to ease stress. Nothing more.

It would feel divine to let loose.

You craved it. You needed that release.

And you only wanted it from him.

How did Elsie do that? Just flip a switch and make you consider something?

She is the only person in your entire life that you quite literally trust with everything, that’s how, the sweet voice in your thoughts reminded you. She’s never let you down.

And so you decided.

“It really wouldn’t hurt anything, you think?”

“Not if you cut things off before you’re more than just friends—excuse me, not friends— having sex,” Elsie reminded. She added with annoyance, “Since you seem so set on a relationship distracting Jake from his dream, that’s what you’d have to do,” her voice softened. “Sex isn’t going to distract him. In fact, it may inspire him even more. Just look at it as you doing him—and yourself— a major service.”

“How do I make sure he knows it can’t go any further than sex?”

And once again, her stare flattened. Damn. Her being annoyed with you was becoming a recurring theme.

“Just. Fucking. Talk. To. Him,” she started walking towards your door, twisting the knob to open it. She looked back at you, with a stern look. “Let him in. Be open to the idea of letting him in just a little more. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

And for the first time since he’d moved in and uprooted everything in your godforsaken life, you felt reassured.

Felt okay with what you’d wanted from him for a very long time.

-🌼🌼🌼-

It was late when your eyes flicked open. You were still sprawled on the couch, where you and Elsie had crashed while watching Friends.

You blinked into the darkness, only lit up by the blue hues of the television.

Elsie was snoring at the other end of the couch, your feet tangled together under a fluffy blanket. The pizza box from the pizza you’d decided to order (and devoured), still laying out on the coffee table.

Before long, you knew what’d awoken you. The overwhelming need to pee was pushing against your bladder.

Still half asleep, you clambered up from the couch, careful not to wake your sister. You glanced at the bright green lettering displaying the time on the microwave.

2:38 a.m.

Shit. You couldn’t even remember when you two had fallen asleep.

When you got to the bathroom, you were caught off guard.

Was that water running? Had Elsie left the sink on?

You scrunched your brows, twisting the knob and pushing the door open to find the sink was on.

But also finding a very naked Jake using said sink. His long wet hair sticking to his damp skin.

Heat immediately flooded to the bottom of your belly and between your thighs.

You couldn’t help but admire his physique. Right there in front of you. His broad shoulders, looking freshly tanned and freckled from the sun. His waist begging to have your arms wrapped around it.

And his thick cock, impressive even when soft.

Damn this man.

But—

“Why are you home?!” You started with an edge in your tone, for no reason whatsoever. You didn’t fucking care that he was home. In fact, you wanted him here. There was no reason to question.

He was brushing his teeth, so he didn’t respond, instead his dark eyes connected with yours in the mirror. He raised a brow, seeming to challenge your words.

Your body reacted to his facial expression. Your tummy erupted in butterflies.

“Don’t lift your damn eyebrow at me,” you said quietly, letting your feet guide you further into the muggy room, closing the door softly behind you.

Jake eyed you curiously in the mirror, looking slightly surprised at what you were doing. But before too long, his gaze became sultry, luring you in further. He turned towards you, locking his deep brown irises with yours. Then, he raised his brow again, playing with you.

In the back of your mind, all you could hear were Elsie’s words:

Let loose.

So, without really thinking—more-so giving into the moment—, you sank to your knees in front of him.

You could play with him, too.

As if he knew what you were getting ready to do, he was already half-hard by the time you were holding him in your hand.

Your hand gripped him softly, feeling him. How soft the skin was, stretched over his pulsing member. His pink head, equally as soft, already produced glistening precum.

Running a thumb over the slit at the tip, you spread the release over his entire tip. Jake’s hips twitched towards you at that, and you heard a moan emit from the back of his throat.

A hand combed through your hair and tightening it in your locks to indicate he needed you to pause. You peered up at him, seeing him nod toward the sink. You stopped your movements, but kept your hand wrapped around his dick, squeezing a time or two as you let him spit and rinse in the sink.

Jake’s lids closed, head lolling back. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed in pleasure, wiping his mouth with the washcloth he’d placed next to the sink.

You continued your teasing movements and pulled another close-mouthed groan from him, the sound making wetness gather between your legs.

And before long, he was turning all the way around, letting the backs of his thighs hit the front of the bathroom counter. He let his open palms rest on the countertop, his thighs tense and ready for you to continue.

Looking up to see his face again, you saw him nod down at you, in your direction this time.

“Keep going,” he commanded in his low tone.

Your skin heated, and you had to push your thighs together as you went back in. Your hands stayed on the tops of your clenched thighs.

You added your mouth this time, closing your lips around the top half of his pretty cock to savor him with a moan that vibrated around his thickness. He jerked his hips towards you harshly.

“Shit,” he groaned.

You went further down his shaft, letting your wet mouth envelop him almost entirely, then you slid back up, letting your tongue smooth along the underside of his dick. When you made it back to his tip, you curled your tongue to trace the crease at the base of his head.

He shuddered, a hand finding your hair again. You went to grab his thigh with one of your hands to steady yourself, the other hand grasping at his smooth balls. You felt more wetness gather at your thighs at how incredibly groomed he was.

You’d never been with someone who paid such close attention to taking care of himself.

Massaging his balls in your hand, you held tightly to his thigh as your mouth made its way back down his length. This time, you went all the way to the end, your mouth just barely connecting with his tanned and toned stomach. The muscles there clenched as you felt his tip connect with the back of your throat.

You felt tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, but didn’t gag as you showed him one of your most secret party tricks.

He tensed more, and you felt the hard muscle of his thigh tighten impossibly beneath your hand.

“Fuuuuuck, y/n. How —? Your mouth—your fucking throat—shiiiit. . .,” he practically whined out, shifting his hips up so his cock smoothed ever-deeper down your waiting throat. You sucked on him the best you could from your position, your wet mouth tightening around him. He whimpered, a sigh leaving his mouth. “Feels so fucking—mmm,” he tangled a hand in your hair once more, bringing you closer into him.

You glanced up to admire what he looked like at that moment. His head was tossed back and all you could see was his glistening throat, his drying hair sticking to it. The columns of his throat were strong, bulging as he continued to give tiny little thrusts, replying to the hold you had on him with your mouth and throat.

But when he glanced down, his hooded lids revealed hungry eyes, the blacks of his pupils covering almost his entire iris. . . You realized you wanted—no, needed— more.

So, as much as you could handle this, you decided in order to use your tongue on him, and taste him like you wanted, you had to readjust.

You used the hand on his thigh to trail up to his hip and gripped him there, releasing a noise to let him know you were moving. You slid your mouth back down him, his tip nudging against your uvula as it left its tight, cozy spot at the top of your throat.

The sound that came from him was a combination of a sigh, a gasp, and a whine.

Shit.

Your body’s reaction to his sounds, the feeling of him gliding on your tongue. . .it made moisture gather on the insides of your thighs, still pushed tight together.

You were feeling all of the effects of the situation. It was fucking glorious. Having him at your mercy, snug in your mouth.

You rubbed your thighs together the best you could to create the friction you needed, your arousal slick between them.

You released the smallest cry from your mouth, the sound muffled around his hardness. It felt good to relieve some of the tension. But you needed more.

Fuck. You loved getting to hold him in your mouth, but. . .

Your pussy was aching for him.

As if reading your thoughts, before you knew it, your mouth was being pulled the rest of the way from Jake’s hard dick. His hands used their place in your hair to gently remove you.

Once he’d removed himself from your mouth, Jake yanked you up by your armpits. He held your sides and once again surprised you with his strength when he lifted you to sit atop the sink.

It was so reminiscent to your night in the bathroom last week, but this time. . .fuck— it was about to be so much better.

He tapped the slightest bit against your hip, and you knew what it was he wanted. You lifted your hips, quickly sashaying out of your thong and small pair of sweatshorts you’d absolutely worn in the hopes he’d see you in them.

Being caught by Elsie earlier had made you fully realize that it was something you’d started doing absentmindedly within the past month. You fucking loved it when you’d catch him looking at you. . .the fleeting glances he’d think you didn’t see.

His little peeks at the curve of your ass, peeking out from the hem of your shorts.

Finally, you took off your oversized cropped T-shirt, revealing to him your lack of bra. And his dark pupils overtook the entirety of his chocolate irises.

Your nipples hardened even more under his wanting stare.

“I take my bra off when I go to sleep,” you added, for no reason whatsoever. You were obviously still tired (and a little bit nervous), saying nonsense. “You didn’t need to know that, sorry.”

He grinned, his eyes softening the slightest bit. “I like knowing little things like that about you.”

Your insides became mush at his words for some reason, your arousal peaking.

He placed one hand on your breast, massaging the soft flesh in his palm. You both looked down at it, admiring the way it looked as he held it. The feeling of your hardened nipple rolling against the palm of his hand was almost too much. You bucked up into the air.

So, sensing your need, he released your breast and moved the same hand to momentarily hold and caress your cheek. Your lusty gazes entwined, seeing each other.

He was so handsome.

And lately, you’d come to realize that you felt truly seen anytime he was looking at you.

This moment was soft, his other hand going to grasp your hip, holding you in place. He nudged between your wet folds with the head of his dick, waiting on you. You shifted your hips to welcome him.

Then, without any more warning, he slammed into you, your ass shifting on the porcelain of the sink in the counter. You’d totally forgotten about your sister in the living room and released a loud yelp, followed by a pleased moan at the feeling of him.

Filling you up so well.

He shushed you, then pressed his mouth to yours to take in your satisfied, hungry sounds. His tongue entered your mouth, swallowing up every noise you made.

He stayed inside you, pounding into you relentlessly, hitting every spot he somehow just knew existed. Your whines were persistent, barely able to be covered by his mouth.

So, when he came up for air, he placed his warm hand over your mouth, careful to not cover your nose. You sighed sadly at not being able to elicit the noises he brought out in you. You didn’t know why, but it felt right to be loud with him. The way he fucked you—the action itself demanded you be loud.

When you locked eyes with his pretty brown ones, yours were begging and desperate to let him hear you. He acknowledged you with an, “I know,” right before you rutted your hips up to meet his, and he met your movement with one of his own, harder. You whined behind his hand, biting at the flesh. He bit his lip, his eyes darkening. “Fuck,” he groaned. “I wanna hear you. But your sister is in the other room. We need to be quiet.”

Oh. You blanched at that. You hadn’t necessarily forgotten about her, but everything outside of this bathroom had ceased to exist when you’d walked in and seen him bare ass naked.

You weren’t ready to be done with this, but you knew it wasn’t proper etiquette to be in here, fucking your roommate, with someone on the next room.

Even though you wanted to just say ‘fuck it’, him reminding you of Elsie also reminded you of your urge to pee. And you really weren’t prepared for her to catch you in the midst of the act.

You’d never live that down.

“Then finish the fuck up so I don’t have to worry about it,” you decided to sass in response, rocking your hips in little figure eights to entice him. “Finish it.”

Jake’s features quickly shifted from soft and understanding to something much darker, making your pussy get even wetter around his thick shaft.

His head bent back a bit, his stern eyes staying firmly on you. “One of these days, you’ll learn that you don’t always get to call the fucking shots.”

Your heart raced at his words, chest rising and falling with labored breaths. But you weren’t about to let him have the final say.

“If you want to finish fucking me, you have five minutes,” you said, not meaning the words in the slightest. “So hurry,” rock. “The fuck,” rock. “Up.”

And with your last word, he met your thrust harshly with a growl from low in his throat. Your head flew back, his hand going flat, just in time, against the mirror so you’d hit the back of his hand instead of the glass.

You bit your lip to mask a whine at the sensation of his tip repeatedly hitting your g-spot.

With every jut of his hips, you saw stars. The feeling of his sharp, purposeful thrusts, your head hitting his hand with each one. He’d slide almost all the way out, and then all the way back in.

Your lip was near bleeding with how hard you were biting into it.

And suddenly, you felt the familiar unwinding of the tight ball in your stomach, letting way to your sweet relief of release.

It was spiraling towards you. . .his thrusts never let up, his hard cock never leaving you all the way.

You were not ready for it to be over. But with one final, purposeful rut of his hips, his tip connected especially hard with your secret spot and you felt the ball unwind. You pinched your eyes shut, throwing your head back, your legs tensing, as your back arched. You instinctively went to wrap your quivering legs around his hips to hold him to you as it washed over you.

All you saw were bright, blinking stars against a black sky. And Jake. So much Jake.

“Fuck!”

His voice snapped you out of your trance, along with him tapping earnestly at your thigh, and quickly you let him untangle himself as you knew what was coming.

And as soon as he’d pulled his throbbing cock out of you, he was grabbing the washcloth that was still on the counter, sitting next to you, making a mess of his cum into it.

You were still too out of it to look at his face as he came, your fucked out daze locking you in on watching how his pretty dick pulsed against the towel, releasing. Your lip was still being held between your teeth in a tight grip, observing this sexy display in front of you.

When he finished taking care of himself, wiping off into the towel, you snapped out of watching him. The need to pee, nudging at your bladder again with a vengeance.

You shoved him away from where he was standing in front of you.

“Okay, now leave,” you continued to push him to the door. “I have to pee.”

And, shockingly, without protest, he was gone. His brown eyes had been blissed out, a soft smile on his features as he flitted out.

When you were finally sitting on the toilet, feeling the relief you’d needed so desperately from your bladder, you sighed happily.

I could get used to this regular sex with Jake thing, you thought, a satisfied smirk settling on your lips.

Then, as you washed your hands over the sink Jake had just fucked you on, an idea came to you.

And maybe some rules will keep us in line. Rules will help. They always help.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i'm so ready to share M O R E (the rest of this chapter is...... eeeek!!)... please let me know your thoughts! you know i love hearing from you all :) <3

(do you think you know now what's going to turn Reader's life upside down?)

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf, @hi-hi-hello11, @sinarainbows, @jakesbarbarian, @mybussyinchrist, @becinabubblegvf, @heckingfrick, @danigvf, @pinkandsleepy1934, @derrangeddumpsterfire, @klarxtr

#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka smut #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake fic #jake kiszka #covet #my fics

151 notes · View notes

canonicallyobserving911 · 4 months

Text

Buck & Eddie: Chris has been looking for Dad!Buck since the Tsunami

After 6x11 aired, I always thought the scene from Buck's coma dream with Chris asking Buck to help him find his DAD meant Chris was looking for Buck and I believe I can prove my theory with the scene that happened after the Tsunami.

While writing the next chapter in my multi-chapter fic titled “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”, I realized the scenes from 3x3 and 6x11 illustrated how Chris was in fact looking for Buck both times but Buck didn't understand.

In 3x3, the woman who had been carrying Christopher around all day after him and Buck got separated asked Eddie, "You're Buck?" to which he replied, "No, I'm his father Eddie." Then she said, "He was looking for Buck" and Eddie looked at Buck and Buck looked at Eddie🙃🤪.

Eddie is Christopher's BIOLOGICAL FATHER! It's a fact that will never change. Eddie called himself Chris' FATHER twice in that episode instead of calling himself Chris' dad. Chris calls Eddie "Dad" all the time, he even yelled "DAD!" when Eddie saw the woman carrying him and Eddie yelled "CHRISTOPHER!" in response. So why didn't Eddie identify himself as his dad instead of as his father? 🧐

Let's proceed.

Reminder at the end of 3x3, after Eddie brought Chris back to the loft, Buck said, "I was supposed to look out for him" and Eddie replied, "And what you think you failed? I've failed that kid more times than I care to count and I'm his FATHER but I love him enough to never stop trying and I know you do too. Buck! There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you!" He used the word FATHER again instead of saying DAD!

In 6x11, Buck's coma dream happened more than three and a half years later and Buck still believes his place in Chris' life as his second DAD/PARENT is not real. He said it himself, when Chris asked, "Can you help me find my DAD?" Buck replied, "Sorry but you're not real and I gotta go. I'm always going to feel sorry for that one".

Chris didn't ask Buck to help him find his father (EDDIE), he asked him to help him find his dad (BUCK) 🤪.

Even after the Tsunami, Chris running away to Buck's loft during the pandemic, the shooting, the will reveal, Eddie's breakdown and Chris asking Buck to come back after he was struck by lightning, Buck still didn't get it and he didn't SEE IT!

I stand by the comments I made in a post at the beginning of season 6 (linked here), both Eddie and Chris have been waiting for Buck but he's STILL TOO CONCERNED WITH THE WAY PEOPLE SEE HIM to understand it.

"Dead Bobby" told Buck in his coma dream that he hadn't learned a damn thing if he still cared about the way people see him. Well, he didn't learn anything since he's still trying to get people to like him. He wants Margaret and Phillip to like him the same way he wants all the women he dated to like him. Reminder, ND walked out and when she came back, she said, "I like you" and he said, "I like you too".

WTF was that supposed to be? 🙄

Buck's been trying to get people to like him his whole life and it started with his parents, especially his mother. Full disclosure I don't like TK but in 4x8, she told him "You just can't stand it when someone doesn't like you". She was right and he's doing it again with ND, making the same mistakes by trying to convince her to like him.

In 5x18, he told TK he didn't want to make the same mistakes well, he certainly made the same mistake again for the fourth time with someone else who likes one thing about him but not all of him.

Why didn't the show just let Buck admit he needed time to focus on himself instead of hooking up with another woman who doesn't know him? He'll never SEE the family he's been looking for is right in front of him if the show doesn't stop throwing RANDOM women at him.

It doesn't matter how ANYONE tries to spin his relationship with ND and make it into some big and fantastic romance because the truth is, IT'S NOT A ROMANCE, IT'S TOXIC. She was only interested in his DEATH and that's creepy AF. She was supposed to help him accept his death but instead she came back talking about she liked him which was no different from the way Dr. Wells treated him after he lost Devon in 1x2. They don't have some "Gone with the wind" or "Romeo and Juliet" type of love affair. It wasn't that; it still isn't that and it'll never be that unless the show forces the narrative to make it work.

If the narrative doesn't change, then Buck will suffer through yet another boring AF lackluster relationship with the fourth woman who only wanted to use him for his "Firehose" until she gets bored like the rest of them did. If he was meant to be with any of them, the relationships would have lasted instead of them running for the hills when his life got difficult. TK told him she wanted him in 4x14 which is just like ND saying she liked him in 6x18.

Eddie and Chris love Buck for who he is not for what he can give them but he's still ignoring the family who has been beside him this whole time for two trifling parents who only show him any attention when he's hurt along with all those women who like Buck the firefighter instead of Evan the "Good man".

What's it going to take for him to understand he's part of the Diaz Family and has been for years?

At this point, who knows but HOPEFULLY things will be different in season 7 or it'll be another wash, rinse and repeat season with Buck's love life and Eddie being sidelined until ND gets the boot like TK did in S5 which was EXHAUSTING AF to watch for a whole season!

118 notes · View notes

kaolovess · 7 months

Text

JHOPE DATING HEADCANNONS

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry for not posting! I've been busy with college work… I decided to do some dating headcannon since they're short, and not too hard to write. I don’t know a lot about JHope AND I kind of rushed on this (I promise I didn’t write this in anatomy class 🙃 ) anyway! Love you<333

WORD COUNT: 476

How could you not love this ball of sunshine?

He would be such a sweet boyfriend too:(

ALWAYS trying to make you smile ( especially when you're having a bad day.)

Unfortunately… if you're a coward scared of bugs… good luck.

He loves you, but could never get ruin of a bug for you.

He probably would leave you in a room with a bug. 😭

He might be a simple man, but he would spoil you rotten

Even if you tell him to stop. When he sees something you like, it’s coming home with him.

I feel like he would bring you to a restaurant for a date. It’s like a 50/50 if he would or not.

Like I said in my jealousy head cannons, he does get jealous but not in a controlling manner ( LINK HERE )

When you come over to the practice room, he gives you a whole review of what he and the boys are doing. 😭

Gets shy when you compliment him.

When he’s on tour he video calls you every night to make sure you're not lonely. :(

He likes to call the members “my boys” so he probably talks to his boys about you. (the first part was so random. 💀

Likes to cook for you.

I feel like you'll be his passager princess.

He loves to hear you laugh :(

Even if you laugh at him, he doesn’t care just loves the sound of it.

Would have a lot of photos of just him and you.

He somehow knows your favorite foods by heart.

Listen… he judges all of the members, I don’t think you're an exception.

He may love you, but sometimes it just slips out.

I feel like he’s pretty loud too no reason just loud.

He would let you pick out his clothes.

Now that we're talking about clothes, he 100% wants to match.

If you guys do match, he takes so many photos

You're just standing there like “Are we done yet?”

Now the real struggle… NICKNAMES

I have like no idea…

My mind just went completely blank all of a sudden.

Anyway… he’s very comforting

Just being next to him is a big relief.

He would take such good care of you when you are exhausted. :(

He’s the type of boyfriend to try to make you stop crying, but instead says something that makes you die of laughter.

I feel like you guys randomly eat chocolate together.

( I keep imaging Jhope munching on a kinder bar 😭 )

#bts fluff #bts headcanons #bts x reader #bts fic #bts x you #jhope x reader #jhope x you #bts jhope #hoseok #jung hoseok #jung hoseok x reader #jung hoseok x you #jhope headcanons

102 notes · View notes

valentine-ofthe-ghostwiththemost · 8 days

Text

🕸️My thoughts and feelings on Beetlejuice 🪲 (at least for a while)

I know a lot of people probably won't care but I really want to share my thoughts and talk about this character and that's what I'm going to do, There are a lot of thoughts and feelings accumulated inside my head and I need to get them out, it's a little mess but I think it will be fun to read.

I've had this on my mind for a while, which has finally become one of my biggest, if not the biggest, hyperfocuses for now and I'm going to share a little bit of it now >:)

I really didn't think I would have the courage to post this because I'm not that confident in sharing my things but I CAN'T TAKE THIS GREEN DEMON GHOST MAN OFF MY MIND😫‼️

The beginning of this happened when I was already in another hyperfocus on the character Adam from the series Hazbin hotel on Amazon(I was already a fan since the pilot on YouTube), and then a slight curiosity hit me..."Who is his voice actor?"

So I went looking for who he was and I ended up being so interested in the actor, who is Alex Brightman (I love him a lot by the way and I can't wait to go see the musical and see him in person) and also in the characters he played and voiced, and in particular one of them won my heart.😔🩷

That's exactly what you're thinking, it was Beetlejuice.

For some reason he caught my attention and over time I ended up becoming quite fond of the character, even more so when I remembered that my parents watched the character's film when I was a child, which made me even more eager to research and look for any possible bit of information on the internet that I could find.

AND YES !

I actually achieved a lot and I'm going to share it <3

Firstly, the 1988 film, which was one of the first pieces of information I found about it, after all, it was in it that the character made his debut (apart from the story of its creator Tim Burton). And I know Beetlejuice is a pervert in this movie, but I try to ignore that and try to just look at the good side of him being a good character.

Secondly, and I think this is what caught my attention the most, is the cartoon of 1989 with the same name as the character called Beetlejuice where the character acted as the protagonist alongside Lidya (In this one there's nothing about him wanting to force her to marry him like in the movie, it's just a cartoon of them having a good friendship and being best friends).

And man, the way I was happy when found out that the cartoon had 4 seasons and about 68 episodes, I was almost like that kitten TikTok meme ✨ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY ✨

Like, wow, a source of potential Gifs, icons, dividers, photos, edits, there was so much I could do that I didn't even know where to start because of all the hustle and bustle and animation I had (And of course I spent the next few weeks pestering my friends about it during class with every little bit of information I found🤓👆).

At the moment I'm trying to look for a website that has all the episodes together or just some, but so far I've only been able to find them on old DVDs. When I can find a website I will gather all the links and post them, so that more people can watch.

And one of the best parts...I FOUND A WHOLE COLLECTION OF 🩷VALENTINES' DAY CARDS🩷 and I'll probably make another post later to post all of them or at least their links, they're all official. This made me even more excited because I love all that romantic and cute aesthetic of the Valentine's Day season, hearts, red and pink decorations, heart-shaped candy boxes, love letters, Decorated store windows, stuffed animals, I just love everything (even though I don't have a valentine, and I don't want to🙃).

To give you an idea of how focused I was on this little green-haired corpse demon ghost man, everywhere I have the opportunity I make doodles or drawings of him all over the places, walls, notebooks, tests, napkins, classroom board, and in my sketchbook, in which I'm making an entire page dedicated just to him and Lidya, which maybe later I'll post too. Even more so after I managed to find several official reference sheets from the studio that designed and animated the cartoon, so now the drawings will be much better.💋

There is so much information that I managed to find that I am having to organize my thoughts because unfortunately I am very agitated and anything takes my focus easily, but as soon as I can really focus on that, it feels like I'm somewhere else.

But now talking about the Broadway musical, (which as said before has my beloved Alex Brightman as the main actor), I've always liked the idea of musicals, and even more so when his story is about my favorite character, and speaking of musicals, I REALLY WAS OBSESSED WITH THE SONG "SAY MY NAME" 😫🩷

And oh boy, I spend almost all day singing it or with it resonating in my mind, whenever I read, write, draw or do anything to do with Beetlejuice, I put on my headphones and listen this song as if it were the greatest masterpiece made in history.

AND I'M SORRY BUT I NEED TO SHARE THIS SONG WITH YOU GUYS

youtube

Leaving the character a little, and going to the actor...he is simply the SWEETEST AND CUTEST MAN I'VE EVER SEEN!!

After I discovered that he voiced the characters that I like most in the Hazbin Hotel fandom and played the character that I like so much, I developed a huge affection for him, not just for his work, but because he is so sweet, fun and funny that I can't help but love everything and everything I find about this man online.

Alex Brightman bringing the character Beetlejuice to life and voicing Adam, Fizzarolli and Sir Pentious

youtube

That's it for now ,folks, that's all I have stuck in my mind for now or at least what I can remember

I apologize if this isn't so good, I'm writing this while I'm at school at 7am after waking up at 5am while my body is sore after a presentation.

So, thank you for reading 💞

23 notes · View notes

rainbowsky · 1 year

Note

cpfs are getting a Lot of hate rn bc of the banners at the airport

thoughts?

What are my thoughts? 🙃

I think people should stay in their own damn lane, both the solos who are whining about what turtles are doing, and the turtles who are whining about what the solos think/say about turtles.

And if you're talking about Twitter, where some turtles are falling all over each other bitch other turtles out the loudest and seem the most blameless... the same applies. Keep Twitter toxicity where it belongs. Don't bring it here. Most of us are here to get away from that garbage.

As for the light banners, it's pretty convenient for solos to continually say that turtles should only bring green to events. They hate BXG, so of course they're going to want to eliminate our fandom color from any event. But the idea that we should show up in solo colors is absurd and totally offensive.

I have said this before, turtles have absolutely every right to show their support to GG and DD. They have absolutely every right to show their colors at events. The problem isn't the colors, it's fan behavior that can be a problem. People showing fandom colors should behave in ways that present the fandom in a positive light.

As far as I could see, the people crowding DD and his team out at the airport were not wearing any fandom color, and were just individuals making bad choices (many could quite possibly have been shishengs, paps and daipai such as those who did similar at the airport when GG was leaving for Europe). The fans tend to be well-behaved. It's those others who are unscrupulous and will do anything for a shot.

Even still, when it comes to fans behaving badly - those are their mistakes to make. I'm not going to get invested in their behavior beyond being concerned for DD and his comfort/safety. Frankly his security should have been better provided for in that situation, even if it was to call ahead and get a team there for when he landed to ensure things didn't get out of hand.

People who think that turtles showing up in green would stop us from being attacked or would prevent fan wars are deluding themselves. Motos would just move on to the next complaint - the content of the banners, the dolls, or 'shipping', or whatever other issues they have with turtles - until turtles were basically motos and the world was indistinguishable from a world without turtles.

Solos continually try to stamp out any positive fan support turtles show. They even do it with the charitable works that are done in Boxiao's name. Catering to motos won't get anyone anywhere. Of course we should not go to war, but we also should not be afraid to exist and show our support.

LIVE AND LET LIVE. There's never any excuse for fighting and arguing. I also feel there's never any need to berate other fans in lengthy threads such as the ones I've seen on Twitter over the past couple of days. It's just sanctimonious posturing. Are the actual people complained about even reading the post? Unlikely.

And this is something I see in fandom all the time and that I have a whole other rant about in another post in my drafts... people making a huge scene and stirring up a lot of drama around something they think someone else is doing, and then pointing to that same drama they just brought and saying "See! Look at all the drama that person is causing!"

If fans don't want drama about these things then they should just stop bringing it. Block and ignore, and report when appropriate. The world becomes very peaceful when we curate our online experience.

If people find the behavior of others so troubling they should just cut it out of their lives in the exact same way.

I would like to remind any solos who freak out about turtles and our behavior, there are only two people on the planet with the power to shut turtles down, and those boys have remained remarkably silent about us, and if anything have continued to feed us. Solos should reflect on that, sit down and be humble.

#dd chanel cruise #solos belong to moling su sect #it's in the air it's all around #fandom reflections #ask

51 notes · View notes

0junemeatcleaver0 · 5 months

Note

"How is show Louis better than book Louis" anon here. No it wasn't a riddle, I'm just deeply flummoxed how anyone can come to the conclusion that an improvised and broadly warped show character can supercede an original book character, flaws and all, in anyone's mind. There is no reasoning with the show fandom. Louis is what he is if we all went around "improving" original characters and essentially doing a 180 on who they are fundamentally, do they even resemble their book counterparts, to any degree anymore? That's not Louis. That's a whole new character. That's an OC. How is he BETTER. I'm tired of this show and the fandom at this point I don't want to be a part of it anymore, there's only a few blogs I visit and every day the rest of the fandom starts to make less and less sense. I saw one post supporting and justifying episode 5. Justifying Claudia being SA-ed. I saw one post saying they will never read the books because the books were so problematic, but they support Lestat beating Louis to a pulp. Senseless logic. Another post was waxing on about how gay sex is more intimate than sharing blood, which sure. But all the rabbit humping the show gives the viewers is so deep and full of pathos 🙄 bruh, the show has done a number on the tender brains of some of these illiterate nonces. I'm sorry to unload on you June, I don't know where to go or who to talk to anymore. Tumblr is depressing.

I know, anon. I was just joking around about the riddle.

But you're right on all points. This show is what people outside of fandom think of as "fanfiction"--ooc, stupid asf, and overwrought.

I half wonder if I claimed that my fic was suuuper progressive and I'm gonna revolutionize what Anne was trying to do and then wrote my same ol hotny trash of these bozos would buy it (they wouldn't--it only works for white men, sadly).

Also laughing forever at "rabbit humping" because it's so true. It's the least sensual TV fucking I've ever been subjected to. Pour one out for the sex life of anyone who thinks it's the epitome of...anything really. 🙃

The good blogs with sense are out there, anon. And you're always welcome to scream into the void of my askbox whenever you want/need.

#talk hard

16 notes · View notes

texasbama · 20 days

Note

Hiya I know you're a safe space and I need to get this out, so sorry in advance 🙃.

I see how amazing canon bi buck is for the queer community and I don't mind how it happened in canon. But while I should be happy, I actually kind of feel like I'm mourning? I'm so attached to eddie, maybe unhealthily so, and the ensemble found family dynamic is what first brought me to the show. For a while it's been a struggle having the fandom basically shove buck into every spec or storyline and act like he is a perfect angel and the centre of the universe. But there was always the eddiezers and it was more balanced. But now literally EVERYBODY is all about buck and tommy. It feels like the rest of the show doesn't even exist. I know its only been a couple of days but going on social media now just makes me anxious and idk why really. I'm worried about future eddie storylines, I'm desperate for marisol to disappear, but the vibe is that now buck is bi nothing else matters, we've won apparently, who even cares about eddie or the other characters because buck kissed a man.

Also I'm sex-repulsed ace and people saying how if you don't like it you're a purist and an evangelical and homophobic and biphobic actually makes me feel like shit. I never really understood wanting two characters to have sex 'because why not', because I don't understand why anyone wants to ever lol. I can only read buddie smut in very specific scenarios and most of the time i skip even that. And the rhetoric in a lot of tumblr space recently makes me feel like a bad person for not being all for it 100%. I don't think I've explained myself well here but I tried. You don't have to reply or post this either, I just wanted to reach out to someone in fandom who won't jump down my throat for it 😅. 911 is kind of a hyperfixation of mine so even though I'm trying to stay away as much as possible so as to not make myself more upset but I have no idea what to do with myself otherwise 🫠. Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading on you

Please don’t apologize, im happy you felt like I was a safe space. Im gonna break this into two parts and I hope I can articulate myself correctly lol

1) the first few days after an episode, any episode but especially one like this, isn’t indicative of fandom as a whole. Emotions are heightened due to what happened in the episode. Everyone is screaming about something and it’s in your face ya know? This week something HUGE happened, so yes people are talking about it. It was to be expected. We must make space for people to be happy about it. It’s a beautiful thing and queer joy MUST be celebrated.

This show (for the most part) has done a beautiful job of giving each character their time to shine(some more so than others but thats a conversation for a different day). Coming off 7x04, yes the headline is Bi Buck. And it will continue to be for a while, but it’s important to remember that YOU curate your fandom experience. I don’t blame you at all for what you’re feeling, ESPECIALLY as an Eddie girlie(gn), like I get it! Trust me! I’ve had to carefully maneuver through some emotions this week myself. I’m human! But filtering and being able to step away is everything.

Being excited about the storyline and also hoping and wanting more from other storylines are two things that can be true at the same time. It’s not one or the other. Remember that.

2) im going to say this and just know the caps is because I am just passionate. I promise you, its yelling at you with love okay?

I know it is easier said than done, but don’t you EVER allow ANYONE on this fucking hellsite make you feel less than or that your asexuality is anything but 100% valid. YOU are valid, you hear me?

Okay. I had to make sure to say that first. Whew. Now. As for the fandom piece of it all, we have to remember that there levels to it. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about sex, BUT it’s also important to remember that sex positivity (and those who express it) is also a good and valid. If you feel like there are blogs that talk down to you, imply that YOU are homophobic or biphobic simply because YOU are not doing cartwheels about different sex acts, then block. Unfollow. Do whatever you need to. Those people are scum.

Listen to me *pulls you close*, this is always a safe space. You are a valid, your existence and experiences are valid. And anyone who makes you question that can fuck right off. And lastly, HAPPY ASEXUALITY DAY TO YOU SPECIFICALLY! MUAH! 💜🤍🩶🖤

#this got REALLY long and I am sorry for that lmfaoooo #911 asks

14 notes · View notes

luescris · 1 year

Text

*inhales* Okay. Spoilers for 56. I think I'm able to get my thoughts out now.

Listen. The urge to go through every single panel of this issue is so real. There's so much to talk about for every single one of them, so many things to notice. But TDLR???

I don't want to sound biased. Because I know the others need it too. But Sonic needs FUCKING therapy.

Idk how many times I've said this but I will continue to say it until the day I die (because I just know this ain't happening in the least 🙃). He's gone through so much shit, and the two faces he makes that shows this???

These are faces we never see. Ever.

One genuinely looks like he's about to snap. The other shows exactly just how much what she said, and what happened, truly affects him. He's so shocked and horrified. Again.

I will reiterate again that I know they all need therapy. Words can't describe what I feel about what happened to Surge and Kit yet, except for "what the fuck" and "oh my god". They're gonna need their own post about just how fucked up they are (and how I now personally hate Starline too for everything he did to these children). I don't intend to make this too long, and since Sonic's my favorite, he's gonna be the first-- not to sure I'm making one of these for Surge and Kit though so, yeah, haha. Maybe this will sound biased idk ajshdhhs 😅

a n y w a y

I want to start off by saying that what Surge said to him is definitely fucking with him big time. Like imagine almost your whole personality, your whole life, has been about fighting for yourself and other's freedom.

Only to find out that you can't give someone that freedom simply because you're living.

He can't offer Surge that kind of peace. Maybe by some miracle (which happens often so this potentially might happen), he finds a way, and maybe he's probably not discouraged about it. But who knows where they even went now? How would Sonic even go about trying??

Furthermore, Sonic was clearly not happy when Eggman was mentioned. Furthermore, he almost drowned, which is a big fear for him (obviously shown in this issue alone), and practically watched Surge like. Idk come close to dying or something

The way they framed it looked like she freaking di e d (I even thought she did but she just passed out but just. good lord). Even if she didn't, his face says so much, and he's tongue tied. There's no quips, no retorts at Eggman, he doesn't have the energy to continue. He couldn't even pull himself and Tails up.

And the way the Wisps we're always clinging onto him?? Could be partly for their own support, but could also be trying to comfort Sonic too. He doesn't even seem to mind it at all either.

I feel like it's going to take just a little bit more before Sonic finally snaps and let's everything out. Just some little bit. Even though we most likely won't get that, if anything the next issue he'll act like nothing ever happened again. 🙃 Just wishful thinking, I guess.

He's so tired. And this was just so much. And I'm genuinely still not really sure what to do about it. 😭

#sonic the hedgehog #i cant. i cant believe idw pulled shit like this. was able to #sonic idw #idw comics #sonic comics #sonic #sonic sega #sega #sega sonic #sth #idw sonic #my stuff #luescris

63 notes · View notes

derangedthots · 11 months

Text

Life/Blog(??) Update:

hello again my darlings💕💕

i know it's been a couple weeks since you guys heard from me(i keep doing a disappearing act on you fjsks sorry about that) and i know i've worried a few people. i finally felt like i had enough mental/emotional space to address everyone again - however long or short this period of activity ends up being - so i'm here to say i've been dealing with some stuff in my personal life that's kept me from being present on this blog. my hopes are that i'm coming to the tail end of The Current Life Mess™ but if that doesn't end up happening, i wanted to at least leave some sort of 'official' explanation here.

regarding CTF, i'm still very much working on it so there are no worries on that front. obviously the next chapter/s update is gonna come later than what i'd originally planned (april-may? who was i kidding omggg) but hey, that's life🙃🤷🏻‍♀️ trust me i'm not happy about it either (very cringe behavior from me being this late ugh) but i wanted to be transparent abt the delays bc this community has been nothing but kind and generous and patient and i didn't want to leave you guys hanging dry just completely clueless about everything🥹

in the couple weeks i've been inactive my askbox has filled up again and i'll try to get to answering those very soon. thank you again to everyone for being so patient with me, i appreciate every single question/comment/rant very Very Much😭💕

on a final note, and perhaps the most important thing out of this whole post - there's a good possibility that i'll be privating Fire Made Flesh and Courting the Flame in the next few days. all this stuff around AI/ChatGPT has been making me anxious for a while. the amount of entitlement that's been increasingly pervading creative and/or fandom spaces is very concerning to me and it should be concerning to everyone else if it isn't already. i haven't encountered any problems (that i know of) with my own works or from any one of you lovelies(💕💕) but all the same, i've come to a point where i don't feel comfortable risking it. i know making my fics available to only registered ao3 users doesn't completely prevent this from happening, but i'll take any stopgap i can right now until the OTW does smth about what's happening. i might change my mind in the future and make FMF/CTF publicly available again for a short time (ultimately that is how they can get the most visibility) especially when i update CTF but, for now, that won't be the case. i'm mentioning this for transparency but also bc i know not everyone has an account and i wanted to give you guys the time to take whatever measures you need to have access to the fics, whether that's making an account or just downloading them. i also wanted to mention it bc i know not all of my readers has a tumblr/knows i'm on here so i thought you guys could help spread the word. (i'll be adding a short mention of this to the ending author's note of CTF ch 2 as well don't worry)

wanted to say thank you to everyone again, i love all of you and i hope you're healthy and happy♥️💖 stay amazing my darlings💕

sincerely, your wife😚❤️‍🔥

#important #life update

17 notes · View notes

scienceoftheidiot · 6 months

Note

Hi! So I'm going to catch up on the latest chapter of All The Hope asap, but do you mind sharing some of the inspirations and thought processes you had behind writing this story? :D

Aahh don't worry about catching up, the fic is there and not going away, read when you can 🥰

I'm so sorry this is going to be... Extremely long... 😬😬😬 oops 😅

Sooo there are a number of thought processes I've gone through when writing this specific fic! I'll try to explain while being not too spoilery 😅

(Edit : in case anyone wants to read the fic, you can find it here : All the hope that I lost, you have found)

First, as I say in the notes of the fic, I had the idea of this because I had already written a fic where Roy didn't get healed after Promised Day and stayed blind, but in this one it was understood in the background that Grumman had pressured the other generals so he'd be able to keep him.

The result is a fic where, inbetween the lines, Roy has a LOT of pressure on himself, has to go through rehab and at the same time has to prove he can still be kept in the army - which means the frat laws still apply, and neither he nor Riza have much brain power left to try and address this, which makes for a weird power imbalance and Roy not knowing where he stands and what he wants out of the relationship (which. Is what backfires at the beginning, because, he in fact, knows very well, and what he wants is NOT nurse Riza 🙃). So the whole setting is different.

I still like this fic, and many things that happen in it, but it's pretty unrealistic even by FMA standards, lol (I also forgot to take into account that Havoc himself would need a lot of rehab before he comes back 😅), and I wanted to explore the other, more realistic option imo, that Roy wouldn't be kept in the army's ranks.

Because with Roy out of the army, so many things can actually work better.

Of course the obvious, and what Roy realizes himself in the first chapter, is that the frat laws don't apply. More on that later.

But there's also the fact that Roy, as a General (Grumman would definitely not leave him a Colonel after Promised Day at least in part because so many generals have died 😅), would have overseen Ishval's restauration from afar, and not be hands on. Because he'd have a lot of work, he'd probably be appointed to be the head of East Command at the very least (Grumman even talks about it in the manga), and while Roy this way can ensure there's enough funds and men and help going and he would have been far more able to pull money from the state and rich people of Amestris to fund the restauration, he would also be way too precious to be allowed to just roam around Ishval helping rebuild.

Basically, in post Promised Day Amestris, an able bodied General Mustang who wouldn't use alchemy much is far more precious to the army than an overpowered, but blind Roy. Not only do I like to pull the rug from under his feet because I'm just evil like that, I like how he's never been that powerful, and yet. While there's a lot of talk about how Amestris is pretty good at accepting disability (no meta from me there, I don't have much to say), it's stated plainly a couple of times that unless they can be fit with an automail, disabled soldiers are no use. See Havoc. Anyway that's the way I followed, because even with Grumman on top, the army stays the army, and the army is not a nice institution. At least Roy and Havoc got a pension 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't think they could have expected much more.

So overall, politically speaking, having Roy stay in the army is interesting, but action wise a little less. Alchemy wise, too. Because I want Roy to use his new overpowered alchemy (he will !!! And not only to transmute tea, spoons and squeaky door hinges, lol)(this fic is very slow aaab I am sorry), and if he's not on the field or only as a last resort against some incredibly powerful enemy.... That's not of my interest. (Keep in mind that's just MY train of thoughts, lol, I am not dissing any fic that does that. I want to read them. Lol). And to be honest I don't see any other reason that just being kicked out where Roy would leave the army (in manga/BH. In 03 I have different ideas but this reply is already soooo long).

Another point is that I wanted to explore Royai as an established couple, but still stay within the lines of the original story. And here I have the perfect setting : no frat laws anymore, they needed each other to basically survive during and right after Promised Day, and I had them make this deal that if Riza helps Roy, she has to let him help her, too. In this fic, the result of Promised Day is that now they are codependent more than ever, and I wanted to explore that, how their relationship shifts but in the end stays the same, and how it helps them move on.

It's definitely NOT a sane way to recover IRL, I know lol, but I think for them there is no other way. Their lives are already so entwined, it couldn't work differently in this specific case.

Last but not least : I'm an angst monster. Taking everything from Roy and fucking up Riza? Yes please let me play with that 😈 How is someone as stubborn and ambitious as Roy going to deal with having his ambitions crushed, and his autonomy seriously hampered? How is Riza going to deal with what was basically her goal by procuration disappearing, and her job radically changing? How are they both going to go on? Together, of course. And as I had Roy say himself in the fic, maybe they can allow themselves that, even if it's temporary, because, well. They don't have much else left. And it's not hurting anybody so why not.

So with this as a (clearly not as defined at the time) base I went on and then the events just clicked.

However. I want to say a couple of things about this fic, more in a logistics way :

First, the number of chapters is a lie. I have hastily cut all the "conjoined" chapters I had in half to get a rough number, but in fact there are some chapters that I keep as one, some that I divided that I had not planned on dividing. So take the number of chapters as an indication that the fic is mostly written and almost finished, but it won't be 27 chapters for real. How many ? No idea lol. Probably more around 20 judging by how it's going.

Also. This fic is only the beginning of Roy and Riza's journey, be it together or to rebuild Ishval. It will end with the (nice!) big event that was already foreshadowed, leaving a lot to do still. But if I find the strength to write yet another crazy long fic, there will be a second part (ok uh. Second part is already 20K long and has a rough outline. I don't write linearly lol).

This whole fic btw is also there for two reasons : 1) considering I am (have been for YEARS) writing an original novel with a blind main character I just HAD to try and write blind Roy, couldn't pass on that, and 2) I have an incredible enabler in the person of @qs63 who just pushes me, gives me lots of inspiration, and reads all I write and is just so supportive, and who is a great writer herself - we even wrote a whole fic together, and it was A BLAST. This fic wouldn't be there without her because I didn't want to just write yet another blind Roy fic and she persuaded me the idea was good. And now I think it's one of the best I've been working on (with the one we wrote together, lol).

Aaaanyway sorry this is a lot of rambling and thoughts and this was very long, but thank you so so much for asking about this fic. I just love to talk about it and read how people feel about it ❤️❤️❤️ thanks !

#long post #writing #replies

6 notes · View notes

cookinguptales · 7 months

Note

Shit, the post about the podcast and accessibility just came up on my dash and my heart fucking *shattered* when I saw who it was. They're the only group of content creators that I've ever seen be respectful of my neck of the woods, and finding out that, despite their diversity in cast and characters, and the research they put in to be respectful, they didn't even care... I kind of feel like I've been gut-punched. I'm so, so sorry that they let you down like that. I'm grateful that you shared your story.

Oof, blast from the past. Forgive me if I’m a little terse in my response here; I’m currently on vacation and uh. Frankly, that whole thing was a deeply stressful experience.

I guess I’ll just say that they did reach out to me and try to make things right. I did go to the live show despite some misgivings. The seat that the venue saved for me made it impossible to see most of the stage, so… that’s the cripple seats, I guess. I can’t blame the podcasters for that part, nor can I blame them for the intense mistreatment fans of the show sent my way for daring to post about my experiences (someone signed my fandom email up to a bunch of spam lists, for christ’s sake) but like. The whole experience really did sour me on the show for good.

I do agree that part of what frustrated me so much was how much they sounded inclusive on the podcast. This wasn’t like You Must Remember This, which still illegally charges disabled people for access to the podcast (by paywalling the transcripts) or shows that engage in casual ableism. I really did expect better from them, which is why it hurt. I think it’s also why I still have a more emotional mental block where the show is concerned now. It’s just… not fun for me anymore.

I also grew up in and out of Appalachia and… being honest with you, I didn’t have great experiences there. (A lot of my extended family lives there and they are uh. Extremely religious. Their communities messed me up some growing up, particularly regarding my queerness and disability.) So I was kind of finding healing from some of that through that podcast and… well. I guess it didn’t feel very healing anymore lmao.

I did grow up around the concept that the disability I was born with was a punishment for my parents from God, and that my role in the community was to never complain and generally be an opportunity to inspire others through God’s grace, etc., so I’ll admit some of the responses I got from the community about how I should sit down and shut up and be grateful for whatever accommodations able-bodied folks felt like giving me were… kind of triggering, being honest with you. Like, again, my presence was just a particularly annoying burden for “normal” people and I needed to be quiet and know my place. That demanding “special treatment” from fine upstanding folks who didn’t deserve my bitching was something that had earned me all that hate mail.

Not my favorite month on the internet! 🙃

So uhhh yeah, these days I’m not… in the fandom anymore. lmao. That said, I appreciate your kind message. Kind of nice to get some sweetness in a torrent of shit.

#replies #cw:#ableism

5 notes · View notes

n7viper · 1 year

Note

While I'm going through my metal revival, do you have any band recs? Favourite songs of the moment? 😌😌😌

oH man... you know not what you ask. I rewrote this so many times trying to make something coherent 😩 I'm just alskdfjdlgkf at all times. I don't know if you want a handy list or if you want me to infodump about music, so I'll try to be Normal about this and just do a list for now. I tend to listen almost exclusively to metalcore/hardcore adjacent music, so that's the tl;dr of this whole post. I like screamies and breakdowns that make me want to throw hands/drive my car through a brick wall.

First off: I love last.fm. You can see my all-time (aka 2020-2022...) listening habits here if stats are your thing. It's not as Snapchat-like as Spotify's Wrapped, but I can also get a mini "Wrapped" report every week so I think it's pretty cool.

If you've seen me mention music, you probably know I'm bonkers about Motionless in White, so I'll throw them out there as their own little paragraph. Goth/horror isn't my thing at all, but something about their music just does something to my brain that makes me end up in the top 0.005% of their listeners on Spotify last year 🙃 It was really hard to narrow it down to two songs, but I'll suggest Devil's Night (synths! yeah boi) and Scoring the End of the World (feat. Mick Gordon!).

Bad Omens - Dethrone / Blood

ERRA - Sol Absentia / Eye of God

Beartooth - Below / Beaten in Lips / honourable mention to The Last Riff (instrumental!)

Stray From the Path - Goodnight Alt-Right / Chest Candy

I Prevail - There's Fear In Letting Go / FWYTYK

Fit for a King - End (The Other Side) / Reaching Out

Trivium - The Phalanx / Strife

Stick To Your Guns - Hush / No Way to Live

Norma Jean - 1994 / Penny Margs

Electric Callboy - We Got the Moves / Spaceman (feat. FiNCH)

Bleed From Within - I Am Damnation / Into Nothing

Make Them Suffer - Doomswitch / Contraband (feat. Courtney LaPlante)

Alpha Wolf - Akudama

Bury Tomorrow - Abandon Us

Every Time I Die - It Remembers / Planet Shit

Thornhill - The Hellfire Club / Nurture

Underoath - No Frame / I'm Pretty Sure I'm Out of Luck and Have No Friends

I also made this into a playlist on Spotify if you listen there! I also have a longer suggestions playlist here on Spotify if you're interested. It has a lot of the same stuff and more, if the first one tickles your fancy.

Friday was Bandcamp Friday over on, well, Bandcamp. This just means that Bandcamp waives their fees for artists for the day, so artists receive basically full sales. I don't listen on there as much as I should, but you can find me and my collection here. Here's some fun stuff I've found or been sent:

Transgressive - Seize the Means of Reproduction // trans thrash

INTERRA - In Your Hands // melodic death metal

orphantwin - Future Classic // melodic ??? metalcore? idk man. side project for two of the guys from Norma Jean

G.L.O.S.S. - DEMO // punk

Sharptooth - imperfect animal // hardcore

Employed to Serve - Conquering // metalcore

PUPIL SLICER - Mirrors // grindcore

Vein.fm - This World Is Going to Ruin You // mathcore

SION - self titled // metalcore, ex-Killswitch Engage vocalist

Khemmis - Deceiver // doom metal

#long post #oops!#I didn't add a lot of description for stuff but the post was soooo long and I didn't want to make it a wall of text #I can elaborate on some of this stuff in the comments if you want!#viper pls #music

18 notes · View notes

occultpuppy · 2 years

Text

So, some things I've been doing in my game lately to help me feel better connected/not bored have really been helping create a better connection with the world as a whole, to the point I've been heavily debating rotational gameplay! Let me tell you, I aint felt that connected to my sims in a VERY long time so I consider this an improvement!

Things that helped me feel better about my game/made it fun for me again:

No more speed 3. Stop it. What was the point of the devs making those animations if you ain't even gonna watch? Force yourself to only use speed 1 if your sim ain't asleep or at work, plus your game will run better!

Custom holidays! Update EVERY holiday and really contemplate what you want to achieve out if the holiday. I recommend the 'No Awful Holidays' mod as a fairly realistic/grateful change. Say your sim doesn't feel like celebrating or maybe doesn't like a particular holiday? This means you can also go WILD and add so many new cool holidays! Some holidays I've added; Frog Day, Mental Boost Day, Good Karma Day, Summer Break, Fall Activity Day, Conservation Day, Days specifically for each occult, etc! I'll list more holiday traditions below as well!

Speaking of which, clubs are a great way to create a solid friend group and make them really utilitarian to what skills and relationships you need to boost. Want to get ahead in your career? Coworker group outings! Family needs a park daytrip? There's a club for that! Here are a list of expanded club activities to help you make a club for just about anything!

Give your sims routines! I make it a point now to make my sim go to the bathroom, wash their hands, brush their teeth and get a shower every day. Let's at least give them a better life than depression lol

Changing their style often! Don't get me wrong, I know you worked hard to make your sim perfect the first time but how many times have you changed in your life? How many hair cut styles and colors have you tried? And MCCC is your friend. Use that copy and paste feature in the dresser section to copy your sims current makeup, hair and accessories to cross post to your other outfits and thrive! (This last part is only helpful if you don't want your sims pillow to be covered in lipstick lol)

Take so many pictures. I'm actually not much of a picture taker but I've found taking more pictures has made me feel like I was there for their memories and that's sweet lol it also makes me more invested because I can go back and realize just how much time I've dedicated to my sim. This can be good or bad :p

Playing with walls up. Look I totally used to be a half wall/walls down type but once again, why did you decorate those walls if you wasn't gonna look at em? Plus really gives you that /godmodevibe/

Save often. Crashes suck and I am a spam saver during gameplay but am the worst when it comes to building 🙃 I try to do better but it's hard sometimes and I learn the hard way lol

Go out WAY MORE!! I am a hermit in my real life and I tend to stay 'lot-locked' jut bc I hate the loading screens. Place some of those amazing community lots from the gallery down and explore! More pictures! More memories and more options for story telling; anything can happen in the public lol

That's all I got for now. I hope this helps somebody bc these changes have really amped up my experience!

#Ts4 #The sims #Sims #The sims gameplay #Sims gameplay tips #the sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 mods #optalks'

81 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

mikareo

.𖥔 ݁ blingblingbling ˖๋ ࣭ ⭑

iconsiderafricansocietydotcom

aggrarwal-1

Untitled

leahrintarou

☆ 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐡 ☆

atailabove

A Tail Above Teaching Dogs-Training People