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#I’m two episodes behind for both whoops
feelingtheaster99 · 3 months
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I was trying not to post during the strike so I avoided my favorite currently airing shoes and then I got overwhelmed with being behind on episodes so now I’ve got to catch up on Fantasy High Junior Year and Percy Jackson and the Olympians… it is time to break the anxiety loop… reactions imminent
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reyesstrand · 1 year
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wip wednesday
wasn’t sure if this was gonna happen today given that we’re all still reeling from The Wedding and all the emotions that came with it, but i started writing this section a couple of weeks ago and with a few canon tweaks i couldn’t not throw it out there. it seems so fitting for today, so, here’s something from the last bit of the food fic <3
Carlos can’t stop smiling.
Part of him feels guilty about it. Part of him wants to be home with his mom, with his sisters, because he doesn’t want to miss out on anything. He wants to soak up every moment they can possibly have together.
The other part of him remembers his mom kissing his cheek the night before they’d left for the airport, and telling him he deserves this. That she’ll always be proud of him, and TK, and that’s what matters most.
He stretches his legs out on the sun-warmed lounge chair and watches as, across the pool, TK approaches the bar. His slender back and narrow waist are accentuated by the floral-print of the damp swim shorts that barely reach his mid-thigh, and there’s a general ease about him, in the sway of his hips, the confidence of his stride, the way he tilts his head back for some sun after he’s recited their order to the woman behind the bar.
It’s hard to believe it’s only been forty-eight hours since they became husbands. There’s an ache as he remembers, but it’s soothed by memories of dancing with their friends and families, and the way they’d both slowly lost their bow ties and unbuttoned the top buttons of their shirts through the night. There’s the memory of Nancy pulling TK to her side and dramatically twirling him around, holding his hand high in the air, the two of them visions under the twinkling lights. TK had tilted his head back and laughed until he flipped the switch and dipped Nancy, the two of them loose-limbed and almost toppling over until they’d righted themselves and shimmied back toward the larger group.
He remembers the way he’d only caught the glint in TK’s eye in the few seconds between them posing with their first slice of cake and then being directed to feed each other, and how he’d started to full-name his husband until TK’d laughed his brilliant laugh and smeared some of the frosting over his cheek and onto his mouth. Carlos had grumbled playfully but thrown it right back at TK, swiping his palm down the side of his face. They’d been grinning as they kissed, after, humming contentedly as they tasted of sugar and vanilla. TK had gone to pull away, to actually eat some of the cake they’d meant to share, only for Carlos to cup his face and kiss him hard enough to knock him back a few steps; hard enough to make the friends grouped around them whoop and yell with glee as TK laughed into it and gripped Carlos by the front of his shirt.
TK steps in front of him and blocks the light, but the way he’s back-lit from the sun and beaming at him doesn’t make Carlos feel any less warm.
“What’re you being all adorable about?” TK asks, dropping into the recliner next to Carlos’, holding out a glass with a skewer that’s suspiciously short on fruit pieces compared to TK’s own glass. He reaches over and touches the point where Carlos’ smile grows the widest as an explanation, and Carlos shrugs, nuzzling a bit into TK’s palm.
“Thinking about you,” Carlos replies easily, his smile widening when TK bites into a strawberry that clearly belonged on Carlos’ drink, his tongue darting out collect some of the sweet red juice lingering on his lip.
not sure if you’re working on anything/wanting to share especially after the episode but i’m gonna no pressure tag @lovesgalores @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @maxbegone @tailoredshirt @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @sunshinestrand @reyescarlos @paperstorm @safeashousespdf @carlos-in-glasses <3
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aftermath 2
A dark blue, fish-eyed globe turns itself across the screen, starting in Canada and traveling eastwards around the world. Five words flash over the globe: TOTAL - TAKES - WORLD - TOUR - AFTERMATH!
A static flash to Wales, on the countryside. 
---
Julia hangs at the back of the group, watching the two up front. Mal darts into frame for a moment, running around her ankles and barking before circling the group once again. 
The sound of laughter and sheep appears from behind the team and Julia turns a bit to catch a glimpse of Team Mojo following them up the crest, sheep in line and following Sha-Mod and Patrick in the front. 
The latter grins and waves as they pass by. “See you at the finish line, sweetie!”
Julia grimaces, but waits til the team disappears up ahead to make comment. 
“I hate that guy,”
---
Then to Australia, in the rainforest:
---
It’s dark. 
The sound of bugs flying, mammals chittering, and birds crying out fills the empty air. 
Slowly, Sha-Mod awakes. He groans and sits up, scratching his head with his back to the camera. “Owie,” he says. 
Then, it’s bright. Too bright. 
“Wait,” he grabs at his face. The feeling of warm flesh fills the void where smooth paper should be. Sha-Mod looks to the ground and sees the mulchy, emulsified remains of Lighting crumbled on the ground. “Oh, no. Oh no. This isn’t good.”
---
The Title Card flashes again and fades into a pink, warm-lit studio. Unlike last season’s aftermath, this peanut gallery is sparse and empty. O picks at his nails absent-mindedly, Alistair waves and flashes a pearly grin, Scary is holding a large book over their face and avoiding the glare of the cameras as they zoom in. Beneath them, the so-far eliminated contestants who bothered to show- Joner and Scruffy. 
But no one directs the attention of both the cameras and the audience like the navy-blue haired, sharply dressed pastel puff standing in the center of the stage. Caesar waves at the adoring crowd, soaking in the attention like a flower takes in the sun. And by the looks of it, he needs the vitamin D- he’s rather pale and tired-looking for someone of his sunny disposition. Behind him, on the pink couch in the center of the stage, a moody-looking teenage boy is on his phone, leaning back against the sofa with his legs kicked up. He pulls a wad of chewed gum out of his mouth and wipes it on the couch. Caesar cringes. 
“Welcome one, welcome all, to another riveting episode of Total Takes World Tour: The Aftermath! I’m your host, Caesar, and behind me is my… unique co-host. Noco,” he seems to go tense at the name, as if a shiver is running up his spine. “We have a very special episode for you today, folks, so stay tuned for drama, drama, and more drama!”
“Whoop-dee-doo,” Noco says unenthusiastically, twirling his finger in a little circle. Caesar grits his teeth. 
“Joining us today are our charming peanut gallery- O, Alistair- formerly known as Fren- Scary, Joner, Scruffy, and- hm. McLovin?” Caesar looks around the stage. “Has anyone seen McLovin?”
“McLovin is busy preparing this super secret awesome surprise for the fundraiser!” Joner chimes in. “I’m the lookout- I mean! He’s busy! Aw, man…”
Scruffy pats his shoulder. “You did your best,”
“Ahem, well… speaking of the fundraiser, this isn’t just any episode of Aftermath… today, we’re sending out an S.O.S. for our stranded friends,” Caesar says, pacing the stage. He speaks in long, dramatic drawls. “Stuck on a remote island in the middle of the Atlantic, not a penny to be spared.”
The peanut gallery sighs, and the audience aw’s. 
“Oh, can we cut the crap?” Noco yawns and sits up, turning on the monitor behind him to a live broadcast on St. Helena. The World Tour contestants are lounging on the beaches, enjoying provisions from first class, and playing tag in the fields. Chris and Chef toast to a much-needed vacation in their inflatable pool. 
Caesar rushes over and flicks off the screen. “Like I said- tragic!” 
“Listen, folks…” Noco says, standing in front of Caesar. “This whole episode is nothing but corporate pressure from the big wigs upstairs. The producers are too cheap to pay it out of their own fat pockets, and now they’re scamming us into believing that the cast is dying in some desert.”
“They’re stranded on an island. Together! I couldn’t imagine a worse fate. And Bonnie is all alone…” the host looks down warily, fidgeting with his bow tie. 
“Oh, please. A break from the script is a paradise. I would be relieved to know the charade is over. Max and Julia-”
Caesar begrudgingly pulls a small remote from his coat and presses the large red button on its surface. An extremely loud incorrect buzzer paralyzes the audience for a split-second. Noco falls backwards. 
“Alright, enough of that. Now, with your help, we can raise the necessary funds to save our stranded friends. Donate by calling the number below, or send your checks to the Aftermath Inbox,” Caesar says, pointing as a graphic flashes across the bottom of the screen. 
Across the stage, the peanut gallery pulls out landlines from under their seats. O gives Caesar a thumbs-up. 
“For our first telethon act, we have the one, the only: Takes Three Trio!” Caesar announces, backing away from the center of the stage as the lights dim. 
A single spotlight illuminates three figures in matching tracksuits. Sha-Mod, in blue, stands on the far left, nodding solemnly. Joner, in green, mirrors him on the right, staring up at the ceiling. McLovin, in pink, takes center stage. A single tear rolls down his cheek. 
Caesar mumbles “Oh, brother,” as a beat begins playing. 
Joner starts. “Our friends, you need to save- our friends, you gotta tell, our friends- that you care!”
Sha-Mod picks up. “St. Helena, they’re trapped down in: St. Helena. They can’t even- Sha-Party. It’s so unfair!”
“You gotta help now, they’re on the brink,” McLovin vocalizes. “The crew gets fired, if this ship sinks!”
“So make a difference- in their lives!” Joner says. 
All three harmonize on the next line. “Empty your wallets or they all die,”
Caesar cringes as Sha-Mod picks up from there. “Saaaaave this show! Total Takes!”
“Saaaaaaaaaave this show! Don’t let them escape!” McLovin sings. 
“Save the show that you love!” the three harmonzie again. 
A tear rolls down Joner’s cheek. “Saaave this show- Total Takes!”
“Saaaave this show- don’t forsake- Them,” McLovin continues awkwardly. 
“Save our friends with love… and one-hundred thousand dollars!”
Sha-Mod flips on a pair of sunglasses. “Save the show, baby. Send us your money. Please. Send us money,”
The lights turn back on and Caesar clears his throat. “That was… um, grim?”
“Thank you!” McLovin beams. 
“Oookay. Speaking of the Takes Three Trio, Sha-Mod: as the first booted contestant since the last Aftermath, would you do the honors of announcing our prizes?”
Sha-Mod pulls out a card and clears his throat. “For a donation of $25, you’ll get a, um… does this say a lock of hair from the contestant of your choosing?”
“Okay!” Caesar laughs, nabbing the cards from his hands. He leans into Noco. “I thought we agreed no body parts!”
“Do you want donations or not?”
Caesar thinks for a moment and then grumbles to himself. “And for a donation of $50, you’ll get a commemorative DVD copy of the first season of Total Takes Island!” The audience cheers. “For one hundred, you’ll get a personal shoutout on the Total Takes official blog!”
The audience whoops and hollers again. Scary peers over the edge of her book and rolls his eyes. 
“And for the low, low donation of $5, you’ll get… a signed folder of proof that Total Takes is scripted?” Caesar squints at the cue card. “ISAAC!”
The gloomy boy grins and shrugs. “I figured someone would bite. I mean, hey- the proof is in the pudding,”
O leans into Alistair. “I hate when he smiles. It scares me,”
The pink-haired actor nods in agreement. 
Caesar glares. “Fine. Whatever! For the price of $200, you’ll get a blind date with none other than our beloathed co-host, Noco!”
Noco’s smile drops. “Huh?”
The phones begin ringing off the hook, filling the air with the sharp sound of bells. Caesar scoffs. “Imagine that,”
“To be fair, the dark and mysterious “bad boy” look is really popular,” Scruffy says, matter-of-factly. “Noco is really popular in my superfan Discord server.”
The host rolls his eyes. Peter stands suddenly, clutching the landline receiver in his sweaty palms. “Um, I have about six different people with $200 donations. What do I do?”
“Yeah, we’re out of hold space here, man!” O yells. 
“Then it’s a bidding war! Starting price, $200!”
“You-you can’t do that-! I hate romance! I hate happiness! No one should want to “date” me!” Noco interjects, shoving a finger in Caesar’s face. He swats it away. 
“Tough luck. Let’s see those numbers!” 
The monitor drops from the ceiling again and crackles to life, displaying a whirl of flashing numbers, climbing up to the thousands faster than they can count. Noco shrivels like a grape in the sun. 
“While the fans battle it out, let’s have another special guest on stage to boost these numbers. You may know him as the Princess of Total Takes- or the dunce! Ladies and gentlemen, Patrick!” 
Patrick walks out on stage, stiff and unhappy. He glares sharply at Caesar before taking a seat, his legs neatly crossed. 
“Welcome to the show, Patrick, we’re glad to have you. Can I offer you something? Water? Tea? First aid?”
The audience laughs and Patrick scoffs. 
“Whatever,”
Caesar clears his throat and winks at the audience, who laughs in turn. “So, you’ve had quite the rough season, haven’t you?”
“As if. I was just getting warmed up, and they gave me the boot! They don’t know what they’re missing- Team Mojo just lost its most valuable player!” Patrick snaps, holding out a petite porcelain teacup for an intern to fill with warm water. “Those two kittens won’t last a day without me, I- honey, not sugar. I’m watching my complexion- I’m unexpendable! It should’ve been that cupcake, Albert.”
The audience Ooh’s. Caesar chuckles. “Yes, yes- word on the street is that you two weren’t the best of friends. And yet you never rigged the votes to get him kicked from the game?”
Patrick raises an eyebrow. “Rigged the votes? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you know, you… you rigged the votes in season one, and you rigged them to get Sha-Mod booted…”
The camera pans over to the Takes Three Trio, who all shake their heads in a disapproving fashion. Patrick takes a long sip from his teacup. 
“Listen, Bluebell, I don’t know who you’re getting your info from, but I didn’t do any “rigging”. A guy like me doesn’t have to play dirty- if everyone knows what’s best for them, they stay outta my way!” 
Caesar raises an eyebrow. “Wait, so… you didn’t rig the votes against Fren in Island?”
“Who is Fren?”
“My, my… with the irrefutable evidence of tampering, this means there’s an entirely different- possibly two different traitors in our midsts!” the host says, prompting the audience and peanut gallery (nix Scary) to gasp. “Scruffy- our resident TD expert- any thoughts?”
Scruffy scratches their chin, looking around for a few moments. “I can’t believe I never considered… I suppose I was just so caught up with Jules…”
“Don’t remind me,” Patrick grumbles, delicately holding his cup. 
“Oh, speaking of which…” Caesar says, checking his watch. “It’s time for our next segment- Who Dumped Who? And make sure to keep those donations rolling in!”
The monitor lowers again, turning on and focusing on the image of Patrick and Julia through a restaurant window. The audio is unintelligible, but within seconds, she’s throwing a fistful of spaghetti at his face. 
A faint ding sounds. “That’s one breakup for Julia!”
Another scene starts, this time of the two smiling awkwardly for a fan picture on the street. The fangirl snaps a selfie with them and walks away, and the two immediately burst into an argument. Patrick shouts something indistinct and storms off (into oncoming traffic, where he’s hit by a bus). 
“That’s one for Patrick!”
Another segment plays, this time of the two in the peanut gallery in the aftermath studio, already bickering about something while Ass and Courtney cover their ears from the row beneath them. Julia shoves Patrick off the benches and he falls into the audience with a shriek. 
“Another for Julia!”
Before the next clip can play, the sound of revving pulls everyone’s attention to the side of the studio. Caesar raises an eyebrow. “Um, what’s-”
Two massive ramps have been set up on either side of the room. McLovin is on the left, revving a motorcycle. He’s dressed in a white suit with a matching helmet. Caesar’s jaw drops. 
“See? Surprise!” Joner says. 
“If I die, everyone has to donate double!” McLovin shouts, flipping his visor down. 
“Wait- WAIT!” Caesar shouts. But it’s too late. 
McLovin speeds off, climbing one of the ramps at a speed faster than the cameras can capture and flying through the air. 
It lasts all of two seconds before he smacks into a ceiling tile and falls dead-center in the stage. Drywall showers on him like rain made out of asbestos and chunks of roof. 
Caesar stares. The audience falls silent. 
He turns to the counter on the monitor. The numbers are still for a moment- and then shoot up. The host sighs with relief, and the audience cheers. 
Sha-Mod and Joner rush over and help McLovin out of the rubble while he grins.
“Awesome,” he says. A tooth falls out of his mouth. 
Caesar wipes the sweat off his forehead and sits back on the couch. The lights overhead flicker and some more drywall dust falls from the ceiling. He swipes it off his shoulder. 
“Why so tense? You’re not the one going on a date with some happy-go-lucky rando!” Noco snaps. Caesar ignores him. “Ohhh, I see. Now this I can get behind.”
Noco stands, grinning. “Feeling miserable? Helpless? I’m your guy! For a donation of $1000, I’ll psychologically torture the cast member of your choice! Cough, cough- CAESAR!”
The phones begin ringing again, and the tally counter soars. Noco grins maliciously. 
“Now, I’m no theracologist or whatever,” he says, gesturing towards O, who glares. “But if I had to guess, I’d say Bonnie being stuck in that terrible place all by themselves is really bothering you, right? Knowing that they’re all alone? Even worse- that they’re being singled out and picked on because of your relationship?”
Caesar shifts uncomfortably. “I don’t know what you’re-”
“Don’t play dumb!” Noco scoffs. “This whole control freak thing is just you making up for how helpless you feel. You’re positively miserable! This is great!”
He claps his hands quickly and squeals. Caesar glares at him. The tally counter rises, and rises, until a loud siren blares. 
“And with that, it looks like we’ve reached our goal,” the host announces. “Time to see who bid the highest for a beautiful, romantic, sweet, and ENDEARING evening with Noco!”
Noco’s smile drops and he goes pale again. “There’s… no way anyone actually-”
“At a bidding price of $60,000, Noco will be going on a date with… Becky from Vancouver!” Caesar reads off the monitor, a smile creeping back on his face. “Let’s get Becky on call!”
The screen crackles to life and focuses on the image of a pretty girl in a pink outfit with a blonde ponytail. She squeals, clutching a unicorn plush in her lap. “OMG! I won! My Daddy is like, never going to forgive me for maxxing his credit card, but it’s worth it!” she screeches. Noco looks sick. “Ohmigosh, Noco looks JUST like my favorite Twilight character, I can’t wait! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Caesar grins widely as Noco scampers away, a few security guards close behind him. 
“That’s enough of that,” the host says. “And it looks like we’ve hit our quota just in time, too! That’s all for today, folks- catch Total Takes: World Tour on your nearest TV soon! Good night, everyone!”
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pluckysidekick · 1 year
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Hello, Drewds! It’s been a while since Nancy Drew filming wrapped. Am I the only one who couldn’t have imagined being almost two full weeks into January and still not knowing when Season 4 of Nancy Drew was premiering? Me either.
In the meantime, some happenings:
The big headline is of course Kennedy McMann is starring in ABC’s massively popular ‘Good Doctor’ series’ spinoff The Good Lawyer as a young lawyer, Joni DeGroot, with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - which Kennedy herself suffers from - opposite Felicity Huffman.
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In the backdoor pilot airing March 13, we meet the “brilliant, funny and self-aware” young lawyer living with OCD, whose “attention to detail allows her to see cases through a different lens.” Sound familiar? Here’s to hoping Joni likes checked blazers and patterned scarves. If only her law firm also had a quirky tech guy…Congrats, Kennedy!
Speaking of Kennedy, she along with the writers and Riley came on Twitter to commiserate in solidarity with us on the lack of a premiere date, and to confirm that those fake episode titles (e.g. “The Whispers of the Grim” 😂) were bogus.
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We also got SEASON 4 EMOJIS, her favorite scenes (in Ep. 3 and 13 after some clarification), and assurance that we will cry hard at the end of the finale.
Besides Cupid’s arrow (hopefully NACE and not some alternate love interests we have to suffer through), looking forward to the Hardy Family Hannukah Dinner, Game Night! (see below), camping out in that cool Airstream, road trip (PLEASE LET IT BE NANCY AND ACE), BABY (Carson and Jean’s perhaps?), curse breaking via a spell book Bess finds perhaps, and FIRE (oh no). Also Nancy’s gonna give some more blood, but we knew that already. I wonder if Ace is the latest blood donor….
Speaking of Game Night, here’s a little seen BTS photo from DP Nick Thomas I never posted from back in late September - Game Night is ON at Icarus Hall, and probably in the same episode with the earth shattering Nace photo Kennedy posted the same week. Does anyone recognize what game they’re going to be playing?
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Next, the hit horror film M3GAN with the creepy life sized American Girl doll killer helped the CW pay the bills with a cross promo with ND that gave us a tiny bit of S4 footage.
We got to see Bess performing some kind of ritual? on Nancy with a weird contraption (mask? Ghost goggle type lens?) and Nancy vomiting black ick. They’re doing this in the in the Drew house, which is strange since Nancy seems to have moved into Icarus Hall. Ace’s voiceover where he questions Nancy’s eating habits has been debated to death of whether he’s actually in the scene or if it’s audio from the Tom Swift episode (inconclusive).
Based on Nancy and Nick’s (who’s behind Bess) wardrobe, and Kennedy’s mention of filming an episode with a ‘Burning Bride’ comedy vibe back in an early August podcast, I believe this scene is from Episode 2, and related to the cause of whatever humorous curse is going on in that episode. Anyway, Ew. But still nice to see actual S4 footage.
We also saw some of our actors on much deserved vacations, with Maddison and Leah both enjoying tropical vacations with their bfs (in Mexico and Costa Rica respectively).
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This will probably be my last marathon post for a while. I do still owe a breakdown of Riley’s post from the last day of filming in the Claw set with baby shower props (!). Also, I finally reached 100+ notes with a short post of just fantastic cast BTS photos.
I’ve been hard at work on Part 2 of No One Mourns the Wicked, my Secret Sleuth fic with a Season 1 AU where the crew put on a summer stock production of Wicked. It’s almost done and it’s a doozy. I will probably split it into multiple parts to make it easier to consume, as it sort of turned into a multi-chapter extravaganza. Whoops. Speaking of which, I’ll be jumping right back into The Space Between (S4 spec fic) as soon as I’m done - there’s still a lot of insanity planned for the crew post curse breaking. They still have a mystery to solve…
Thanks for sticking with me, waiting impatiently for the S4 premier date along with everyone else. Bye for now!
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carlsdraws · 1 year
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tagged in the 15qs for 15 mutuals by @swanfey !!
tagging @anonymousbathtub @tadpal @courtjesterart @shoutydwarf @vhenad4hl @shorthairzuko @chloedrawss @pvz1 @renegade-skywalker @dakotawritesif @junkoandthediamonds @kt-the-destroyer @drk-et-al @demandthedoodles @pyreios
and whoever sees this and wants to do it lmao go for it
1. Are you named after anyone?
yepp on both first and middle name i’m named after my maternal grandparents, my first name after my grandfather and my middle after my grandmother
EDIT: whoops i forgot 2: When was the last time you cried?
may fourth during the last visions episode aau’s song just got to me idk
3. Do you have kids?
lmao no
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
yes very much so. also deadpan humor. my two besties
5. What sports have you played?
uhhh gaelic football when i was a kid, gymnastics (do you Play gymnastics) for longer when i was a kid, camogie when i was a tween for a few years. oh i did badminton for like a year. i lost a jersey i really liked at a badminton camp….. OH HORSE RIDING TOO i did that for years um i may be forgetting one but honestly if i am it was probably for such a short time that it’s irrelevant
6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?
probably their hair? or their voice? idk it depends what about the individual person is most striking to me i guess
7. Eye Color?
brown :)
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
both in moderation and sometimes at the same time
9. Any special talents?
i can do fun eye makeup? not a particular talent but i think it looks good. and i have a knack for putting together cohesive outfits imho
10. Where were you born?
ireland. im not getting any more specific that’s already a teeeeeeeny tiny place
11. What are your hobbies?
ttrpgs if playing like twice a year counts, video games, uhh art sometimes if i’m not burnt out from uni, reading? OH and buying comics i don’t read bc i’m so behind on all of them i physically cant bring myself to start catching up
12. Do you have any pets?
my family have a dog :)
13. How tall are you?
5’3”
14. Fave subject in school?
probably history or english. or theatre the last couple years of high school but honestly the class was more an extracurricular than a Class
15. Dream job?
comic artist baybeee. i was gonna make a joke about my incredibly unattainable dream job here but honestly couldn’t come up with something funny. uhh. guy whose job at lucasfilm is to tell dave filoni he’s only allowed one cameo per project and physically prevent him from adding more if necessary
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inkkayyy · 1 year
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[ ꜱᴋᴢ ꜱᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴀʟ ꜱʜᴏᴡ: ᴇᴘ.ᴛᴡᴏ ]
>why is it now they try to stamp out the embers of our passion?
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The second episode of JYP Entertainment and Mnet’s, 2017 reality show Stray Kids ( 스트레이 키즈), focuses on the bonding of a team and their first task- to create their own song.
“You’re kidding right?” Sunhee asked, frowning at the boy.
Clearly he took that as a challenge, puffing his chest out and steeling his expression. “What- you don’t think I’m man enough to win you a stuffed animal?”
Sunhee sighed at him, “No Jisung, I think you’re too broke to afford the claw machine more than once. We all are.”
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[ ep. 1 ]     [ ep. 3 ]     [ sunhee’s masterlist ]
( wc; 8.5 (whoops) ) (format; english in italics)
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It’s around three when the obnoxious custom ringtone that Changbin had set for himself interrupts the peace- admittedly Sunhee did like ‘p.a.c.e’, but it was a bit egotistical to set his one song, wasn’t it? (she’d changed it to his verse in ‘wow’ once and he’d thrown a shoe at her once he found out). “Yah, Kang Sunhee, we’re downstairs.”
“Well, you know the gate code. Type it in yourself.” She hugged up just as swiftly as she’d answered, dropping her phone on the couch beside the rest of the members, flopping down onto the leather, sticky and uncomfortable with summer heat.
Chan welcomed the newcomers, opening the door for them and ushering them inside. Bags and suitcases were left at the door, and everyone converged at the couch. A few camera people crowd around them, but most of the cameras around the place had been set up a few hours prior while the members who already lived in the dorm had been reorganising. 
It was recommended by MNet to reorganise, as a large portion of episode two would revolve around them all ‘bonding’ and picking roommates was a big part of it apparently (but it had to be a game. Because god- they couldn’t just pick who they wanted to room with, now could they- where was the drama in something like that?).
Sunhee had already run around and stuck sticky-notes to each door that explained how many members could occupy each room. So as the five of them who’d already lived there turned their back to the other four, she knew they wouldn’t have to worry about overcrowding at least.
Everyone seemingly wanted to room with Jeongin and Sunhee- at least until Felix mentioned massages and everything else was thrown out the window. It was decided that whoever roomed with Felix would be a lucky man.
And as they closed their eyes- Felix going as far as to shove a pillow in his face to prevent peeking. Sunhee stood next to him with bubbling excitement. Despite her earlier protests, sharing with Chan wouldn’t be bad- and she got along fairly well with the others and wouldn’t mind any of them sharing the room either (thankfully Jisung was out of the equation- his messiness was one to be rivalled).
Sure Changbin and her bickered, but it was fun-natured, a way that they’d been since the day they’d met. And of course, she wouldn’t mind living with any of the Seoul boys either- Seungmin and Hyunjin making wonderful company.
But as fate decided, and the members trickle away behind them until none are left, Sunhee entered her room with gusto, met with an ecstatic Lee Minho in front of her and a cheering Bang Chan behind.
She can’t help but scream as she dived for him, clutching Minho so tight he could have burst. Chan screams in celebration and brings them both into his wide embrace.
“Aish- why am I stuck with the old guys!” Sunhee had complained once they'd finished screaming- until Minho kindly pointed out, “Sunhee I think you’re forgetting that you are the third oldest in the group.”
“You aren’t supposed to remind me of that.” She had whined. Before what they had taken to calling ‘the great purge’, Stray Kids actually had another 97-liner and two more 98-liners. Sunhee wasn’t used to being considered so high in the age rank order. 
Nevertheless, the elderly celebrated and headed to check on the kids.
First were Felix and Seungmin, getting along swell in the two-person room as was to be expected. 
The thought of Jisung and Hyunjin sharing a room made her feel a tad queasy, but when they pushed open the door to see the two of them sitting side-by-side on one bunk, Sunhee almost forgot they fought so often. It was probably just that post-showcase euphoria that had them acting like best of friends the night before. She really hoped it lasted.
Since dorms had been decided, the MNet staff present suggested that they all share a meal.
Admittedly the kitchen is small- and most of the members had rather poor kitchen skills- so the Aussies were assigned to cooking duty. Sadly the three of them had been instructed to speak as much Korean as possible- and since they began filming before the showcase, every time one of them spoke English it was pointed out by film crews.
It was normally Sunhee who took the brunt of it because while she was fluent in Korean, English still flowed naturally out of her mouth- even after two years away from home. Although it did result in some fun little conversations between the three of them regarding vocabulary- like when Felix asked Chan what they were making and he’d responded  “Spaghetti bolognese.”
Felix had leaned in close to sunhee whispering in her ear. “What’s that?” It made her laugh and in the thickest Australian accent she could muster- without sounding detrimentally stereotypical, replied: “Spag bol.”
Predictably, the single-camera person who’d followed them into the cramped, and aptly dubbed ‘Chan’s Kitchen’, spoke up. “Sunhee, please attempt to speak in Korean as much as possible.”
“Yes.” her answer had a barely repressed eye roll behind it because even if he was behind her- there were cameras everywhere and Korean culture didn’t take ‘disrespect’ even in the form of eye rolls, lightly. It made the boys stifle their laughter and give her a knowing look.
Sunhee chopped the onion, as Felix chanted ‘don’t cry’ next to her with tears pooling in his eyes. Complete with carrots, shallots, bacon and tons of pasta- the Aussie special of Spag Bol was complete- split amongst two dishes because there was too much to fit in just one.
The others had been playing some kind of zombie game, and when Sunhee came out bearing utensils, a blindfolded and extremely dizzy Minho nearly tripped over her. She caught him and spun him by the shoulders, directing him to catch Jisung. “Han Jisung is on top of the sofa- dead ahead.”
Screams of a zombified-Jisung echo in the dorm and it’s nice, playful. Sunhee thinks she could get used to it.
The food was enjoyed quickly and in its entirety. Compliments to the chefs of course. Sunhee explained to Hyunjin while they ate that, back home,  she used to make it very differently and he was very confused when she described minced beef as cheap- meat was much dearer in Korea than it was back in Australia, but she didn’t think it would be that drastic (Sunhee had been living off of JYPE cafeteria food and cup ramen since she’d moved). She had the feeling that many cultural differences were about to be highlighted now that the lot of them lived together.
Naturally, Changbin is thrown under the bus and left to do the washing up- he whined and complained about it, but made swift work of everything and they were once again instructed by MNet in hurried fashion that they needed to head back to the company.
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They were told they had a big meeting- their lives had been so full of those as of late, but one with JYP had her fidgety and jumpy- to a noticeable degree.
One of the MNet staff- the lady who was taping the mic to the line of her stomach and checking it over, commented on it. “Looking nervous won’t get you much screen time if that’s what you’re aiming for.”
“Ah no, it’s not that,” Sunhee dismissed, after years of it at school, she was used to the sort of comments that missed the point, enough that she’d learnt to politely smile and deal with it. “I have ADHD- it can be a bit hard for me to stay still or focus sometimes.”
The lady tutted and rubbed a particularly hard line down the tape, securing it in place. Sunhee managed not to screw her face up. “That’s not a good quality for an idol- have you thought about medication.”
It was blunt really, a bit of a jab that made Sunhee frown but she continued the conversation- not really sure how she would have escaped anyway. “Yes, I have some to help me focus, but I’m not supposed to take it constantly.”
“Have you taken any today?” She smoothed a thick piece of black tape over the branding of Sunhee’s jacket (she didn’t even realise the writing on the back was branding- she’d just picked it up from a second-hand store, drawn in by the nice pale pinks and grey tones).
“No.” The question made her frown, because well- they’d been ‘bonding’ at the dorm, and apparently, they had more light-hearted things coming up later in the day, and while the medication did help her focus, it took the edge off her excessive energy and directed her attention better. But on the other side it also takes the edge off her humour, she has a harder time joking around, instead favoured more towards hyper-focusing on something (more often than not it ends up being choreography or poetry).
So as the MNet lady straightened out Sunhee’s jacket and clipped the mic onto the collar of her black shirt that sat underneath, her words hit like cold water to the face. “I suggest you take some then there’s a big day of filming ahead and you shouldn’t be distracted.”
It came with hesitance but understanding that Sunhee dug through her bag and ducked out to the water cooler, downing a pill of her long-acting methylphenidate. Typically she’d take it in the morning because it lasts the whole day and she didn’t enjoy having to deal with the worn-off effects of a morning, but considering this was an important meeting- with the CEO no less, Sunhee understood the importance.
And it helped really because she’d been able to sit attentively through the whole thing- listening to the hard news that JYP delivered- even if it had been in their contracts for the show’s filming, like how he’d be testing them further with missions- the first being to produce their own song and create a performance stage for it too- all in two and a half weeks. And the prospect of eliminations,, something they had all been made expressly clear on. It was the reason they lost Ilsung and Eunha, the two unwilling to have the rug pulled out from under them on national television. So yes, they knew, but it was still brutal to hear.
“You weren't produced by the company, so if someone is lacking, it’s in our best interest to remove them from the group.” His voice was dull and that smile didn’t feel as friendly as it used to. Sunhee had signed up for that though, so she swallowed the doubts and stress threatening to spill past her lips and set her eyes on the table as he covered some filming information across the next few weeks while they prepared.
They concluded with the information that MNet wanted to film some more fun and lifestyle content that they hadn’t gotten when filming at the dorms, to give a bit of a fun vibe before they really focused in on the mission. And it was decided they would all head to an arcade. Sunhee’s stomach spun in nervousness- because now they knew about the mission, she wondered how the hell they were expected to go and have fun like it hadn’t happened yet?
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Sunhee had never really spent much time in arcades- she loved video games, but being a trainee- and a foreign trainee at that, meant she didn’t have much time to get out or friends to get out with. She’d been a few times, once or twice with Chan in his post-BamBam and YoungK sadness slump, and with some of the few friends, she’d managed to make in Korea. But even before coming to be a trainee at JYP, she’d never actually been to an arcade, her rural Australian town not exactly filled with entertainment venues.
So it was safe to say that Sunhee was out of her depth. But nonetheless, she loved winning, and if there was a building filled with games awarded that number for your performance, everyone best believe she was going to get the highest score possible. Sadly- it turned out that having little to no arcade experience made it hard to win.
Admittedly she was appallingly bad at the weird shooter game that Changbin made her play with him. She also bombed at archery- we’re talking arrow straight into the ground type of bad. Hyunjin had looked at her in wonder. “How is it possible to be that awful?”
In a delightful turn of events, she managed to gain a passable score at the basketball hoops- at least better than Minho’s three baskets, so she counted it as a win.
When they reached the baseball cage, and Sunhee was shoved inside, it was a bit of an interesting scene. Baseball wasn't really a thing in Australia. So instead of hefting the metal bat over her shoulder, she swapped it out for a wooden one that felt much more familiar and tapped the head against the ground a few times, crouched and ready to swing. Seungmin chastised her and questioned the credibility of her strategy- but Sunhee had grown up on backyard cricket- it was simply easier to swing like she was batting cricket in front of crappy plastic wickets than attempt a baseball-styled swing.
Something she very much proved by getting the best score, squinting at the projected display with some text flashing too quickly for her to read. “Does that mean I won?”
Seungmin grumbled and walked away as Jeongin poked his side-  teasing about wanting to be a pro but getting slammed by an amateur.  
The big movement game quickly became her favourite though- just like Minho. With the aim to contort into odd shapes in order to pass through gaps in the walls projected on the screen, the pair dominated. Them being the groups’ lead dancers (even if technically they’d made Sunhee’s main position vocal- which she totally wasn’t still cranky about), meant they were quick on their feet and flexible. Hyunjin joined them but his long limbs ended up losing them more points than he’d gained.
The film crew prompted them to have a competition or something- ‘put something on the line’ they said - ‘make a bet, give the viewers something to laugh about and root for’. Which immediately meant Sunhee was at full attention- a competition?
Naturally, they bet on snacks and split into teams. Chan led the first team and the boys decided Sunhee would lead the other. Her inability to cope with losing ensured that the fire in her eyes made Chan play hesitant and tell the cameras “She’s scary when she gets like this- no one is allowed to beat her.”
Rock, paper, Scissors was played when picking out teammates. Sunhee stole Felix first, then Seungmin and Jeongin until Changbin was left standing and trying to decide what team to join, sadly Sunhee won the final rock, paper, scissors match and he joined her team- she pretended to be upset about it but everyone could tell she was glad to have him. He pounced on her instead of taking her whining seriously and she instinctively dragged him into a piggyback to stop them both from toppling to the ground. “What is with you boys and treating me like a mode of transport?”
Soccer was deemed as the first round- Sunhee was fine with that, she’d played soccer during her school days, amongst every other bloody hobby her parents had thrown her into.
Much to everyone’s delight- even his own teammates, Chan misses his shot. It’s hilarious because they all know he’s the best at sports- especially soccer, out of all of them. They all jeered and teased as he sunk to the ground in shame, poorly hiding the smile on his face as Sunhee dragged him out of the doorway so Jisung could have his attempt.
Jisung and Hyunjin succeed- cheering for themselves and pushing Sunhee into the room for her turn.
Miraculously all three of them managed to score a goal, meaning Sunhees’ team had officially won round one- much to Chan’s dismay, they were playing for snacks after all and well, maybe just a bit of pride.
The second round came back to the movement game in a battle of team leaders, there’s no kind way to say it, but Sunhee got so damn into the game and focused on winning that she dominated. A lesser man would blame his loss on random game generation, Chan instead blamed her ‘unfair flexibility’- a point that was much supported by her split-drop in the middle of the game. Jisung had muttered something in the background about her ‘try harding’
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Herded outside by staff members who wanted nothing more than to head back into cooled JYPE air conditioning, the members were set off towards a few food vans- armed with go-pros attached to selfie sticks and the knowledge that they no longer had to pay for their own food. The boys- particularly Jeongin voted for hot dogs, and how could anyone ever say no to him?
Naturally, they got hotdogs.
But the smell of spam and processed meats had always made her screw up her nose, not to mention the excessive cheese would certainly disagree with her stomach, so Sunhee instead ducked to the next van over and bought a bottle of sprite , using her own card of course. The others were a bit overexcited with hot dog toppings and Chan- who already paid for their food at least once a week looked as if he would crumple if another receipt was handed to him.
Sunhee trailed behind the group, still wrapping her head around the fact it was her debut group. Sure it had changed from the original plan, they’d lost Minju and Hana to their parents' whims, Eunha and Ilsung too, the four of them gone from the company, living on in the photos of the original Stray Kids in crowded practice rooms.
They hadn’t really spoken since Sunhee had messaged them. But only received a brief response from Minju who’d said she was auditioning for smaller companies and that her parents hadn’t wanted her to work for such a strict and time-consuming company like JYPE while she was still in school.
Somewhere in their brief text chain, there had been a promise to meet up again soon, when they had a free day- Sunhee promised to pick her up from school one afternoon and they could go out for ice cream or something. Under joking threats, she’d teased Minju about the consequences if she failed English- that there was always a tutor on call for her. She’d replied saying that high school teachers wouldn’t accept Sunhee’s accent- that ‘naur wasn’t correct in the school marking guides’.
It was telling of how much she had only spoken to people because they were right in front of her- and how much they did the same. And there, at that moment as she watched the boys her debut would be alongside, Sunhee promised herself that an effort would be made, that even if they weren't beside her, they would always be her boys- that they would always be Stray Kids.
Seungmin snatched the sprite from her hand and took a mouthful, wiping the rim on his jacket sleeve when she’d glared at him- all in good nature, of course. It felt right standing there, drifting towards the comfort of each other’s calm as everyone celebrated the death of Chan’s wallet- sharing food and playful jabs about particularly bad performances in the arcade.
“How are you so good at baseball?” Seungmin questioned standing alongside her as she gazed over the group, they poked fun and teased Chan, joking about how often he shouts them food. “I remember when I met you and you said you’d never even played.”
“In Australia, cricket is really popular. And on holidays like Australia day or Christmas, people often play cricket in their backyard or on the beach.” She smiled at the memories that flooded in after the words, and Seungmin looked at her curiously. “It’s fun. I’ll ask mum to post our cricket set down so we can play sometime before the summer ends.”
“The nine of us?” He tentatively asked. She hummed in response, holding her sprite out silently to him. Seungmin smiled, taking a sip. “I think that would be fun.”
The two of them stood together until an MNet staff member told them to join the rest of the group as they headed back to the company building, walking the short distance. The contagious energy of excitement made Sunhee smile, pointed canines peeking out lower than the rest of her teeth- not by much, but enough that people had commented on it before, casting managers asking her if she’d consider getting them shaped to be more subtle.
Chan slid into place beside her, naturally as they do. People assumed that they must have been at the company just as long as each other, but that wasn’t quite true. When Sunhee had rolled in at age sixteen bearing that same Australian accent- if not thicker in some places from her rural upbringing, it had simply created a bond faster than expected.
And when the homesickness had left Sunhee crying in production studios and puking her guts out in company bathrooms he was there to hold her hand and simply talk in that safe, homely accent of his, Chan was there to bump shoulders together when he’d spotted her brimming tears.
So as they watched the boys poke fun amongst each other, like a real friend group- which she supposed at that point they were, Sunhee bumped their shoulders together, feeling particularly sentimental, and leant into his side as she whispered a secret just for the two of them. “If you keep the receipts, I reckon we can bill Mnet- make some cash.”
There are no staff members to scold her for speaking English, just Chan to laugh and nudge his shoulder against hers in return. It felt like home.
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They’d met in a practice room to decide on a track for their mission- a task made significantly easier by the archives of Chan’s laptop.
A bit of product placement (apparently they were sponsored by Coca-Cola now?) had been scattered around their semi-circle in the form of cans and bottles.
Staff had asked them all to keep drinking the coke- something much forgotten in their focus on the gargantuan task of song-making. Sunhee was asked specifically, and while she wasn’t really supposed to have caffeine while on medication. She had a bottle, not a can so it was very obvious she’d been faking her sips.
Granted sunhee had drunk caffeine on her meds before and it hadn’t really killed her (but that had been a whole can of monster and she had thrown up) She bit the bullet and took a mouthful so they would stop bothering her about it and she could properly focus on the mission.
The first three tracks are a bit hard to work around, being very hard and deep in beat. Choreography would be amazing as Hyunjin pointed out, but the singers were quick to establish it wouldn’t have much room for vocals. Jisung chimed in with his poor timing as usual by mentioning how they should find something more sentimental and lyrical to show off their song-making. Luckily the two didn’t start a squabble as she’d expected.
They settled on track four, and Changbin threw out the idea to change the title from ‘elevator’ to ‘Hellevator’. Everyone had been very enamoured by the idea.
They made their way hastily through conceptualization, everyone enthused by the idea of making her own song. It was decided that ‘Hellevator’ would be a song about rising from hell that was traineeship and up to debut- it would be about their journey and struggles.
But after everything that they wanted to be the song to become had been spoken about as a group the production crew tell them that the filming day is over. They were rude about it, calling a slate while a lot of them discuss topics and ideas in split groups. The members all bowed nonetheless and thanked them for all the hard work.
It stunted their progress in a way, and as the clock ticked closer towards midnight, they just couldn’t seem to push further with things like choreography without the more essential lyrics and melody.
Most of them decided to head back to the dorm shortly afterwards, the kids having school the next morning and those who didn’t know that at this stage, there wasn't much to do until the production-based members flushed out the track.
So Sunhee stayed behind with 3RACHA.
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Sunhee’s songbooks, as they had been dubbed by Chan, had in a way become infamous amongst trainees. There were so many of them all filled with messy pen scribbles and spelling mistakes. Her earlier ones had been mostly in English, as her writing ability in Korean had been very poor (the one downside to growing up speaking Korean with your parents is that you only learn how to speak it), but she’d since moved further into bilingual writing.
Poetry had been one of the passions Sunhee had found by herself, not like gymnastics and dance that spawned from the excessive hobbies her mother had piled into a young Sunhee’s schedule. It had run through most of her life since that wonderful literature teacher in year eight had recommended it. And now, when the boys needed help with their lyrics or concepts, they sought out her notebooks.
So as Changbin and Jisung lamented over lyrics, Sunhee wrenched the latest book from her backpack that had been pushed into the corner and out of camera shot. It was nearly full and the spine had seen so much stress that it no longer sat flat, the mess of sticky notes and re-written lines making the pages bulge.
“Here.” She slid it across the smooth polished floors and in between the two where they sat huddled together. “There should be some stuff near the beginning- maybe the first ten pages?”
“Woah, thank you noona,” Jisung murmured, already flicking open the cover that had been marred with little drawings and sketches from her friends.
She wasn’t really in a lyric-writing mood- her fingers too twitchy and active for that, so instead she decided that she would take on the melody. “I’m just gonna grab a guitar.”
They gave hums or grunts of acknowledgement as she pushed open the practice room door (shoving her shoulder and whole weight into the immovable object- soundproofing is heavy).
And her chest felt a little tight and her breath a little shallow as she climbed the stairs but she quickly chalked that up to the effects of caffeine combined with her medication- there had been a pamphlet or something. She hadn’t really read it, she was fourteen, but like, there was something about higher heart rate and shallow breathing. It didn’t really slow her down though, as she pillaged a guitar from the band department- longing to hold her own, in its pink glory, one she carted around since age twelve and coated in hello kitty stickers so faded they hardly held colour anymore, but she would settle for the high-quality ones JYPE kept.
And when she made it back downstairs to the basement practice room, Chan had dragged out his headphones and MIDI keyboard. Jisung and Changbin were sharing a pair of earphones plugged into one of their phones, assumedly listening to the track.
She plated herself on the other side of the room, guitar in her lap as she plucked at chores and notes to prick a melody. It probably would have been better to do it with a piano but she could navigate guitar easier. There was a minute where she simply flicked between the G and D string, contemplating but her finger slipped and hit one note higher. She thumbed the strings again, letting them vibrate beneath her fingertips. D? No, E.
For a while Sunhee stayed in her corner, plotting out a nice chord progression. Eventually, though, the guitar just didn’t cut it. But there was no piano so Suhnee does what she did best, make it work.
Guitar clutched by the neck she barged across the room and dumped herself next to Chan on the floor. He hardly even looked up, patting his hand out a few times without looking away from his screen until it landed on her knee, curling around it and drawing little patterns onto the fabric of her dark jeans. Sunhee whined impatiently tapping her fingers on the edge of Chan’s MIDI Keybarod to let him know she needed it.
“Yeah, yeah- just a second.” He mumbled, imputing a few final notes or kick drums- he still had his headphones on so she wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing. But eventually, he slid the keyboard over lightly and Sunhee assessed it for a second, righting her fingers and planting them onto the correct keys as Chan unplugged his headphones.
It was just a few jumbled notes at first, ones that sounded nice but had no real structure, but once she had located the ones she wanted, Sunhee paced it through slowly. B-flat, C, D, E flat and back down to D and up to E flat again before dipping back down to F, then D and finally C.
She frowned. Maybe a bit higher? She tried B-flat, A, F, G, F an octave higher but she wasn’t too sure.
“What if we,” Chan trailed off, nudging her fingers aside as he played his own melody. It used her notes, just a bit more rearranged, flowing from C to D and up to E-flat, trailing back down the same notes but lingering on each one for a tad longer.
“Wait wait, play that first one again,” Jisung asked, straightening out a piece of paper. Sunhee’s brow creased as she did, struggling to recall exactly what it was, but she thought it was pretty much the same the second time around.
“‘My life's at a rock bottom's cliff’” He followed the notes, singing off the lyrics he’d scribbled out. “‘I'm walking in a dark tunnel’ Woah, hyung, I think that’s pretty good.”
“Was it necessary to elbow me?” Changbin bemoaned rubbing the side of his ribs where Jisung (who lacks knowledge of his own strength on occasion) had nudged him a tad too hard. Jisung sat beside him practically buzzing with excitement, grin unchanging as he sang out what Sunhee assumed to be the intro if the way he skipped back to the beginning of the track was in indicator, twice more. “I think this could really work!”
Sunhee cracked a smile.
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The next ten minutes considered of the four of them each taking a stab at the melody, using the nice notes she’d pierced together to plot out the chorus that Jisung and Changbin had pretty much finalised. And an hour later though, they were stuck, progress could be made the next day with the others to act as fresh ears, but for the time being, they had decided to head back to the dorm.
Sunhee almost left the staircase on the second floor out of instinct, but Jisung caught her arm and gently directed her back up the steps instead.
The first night in a dorm together was weird. Because it felt so different but exactly the same. Sunhee went through her night as usual, she filled up a water bottle to keep next to her bed, changed into pajamas that consisted of a pair of low-hanging pants that pooled around her feet and a thin cropped shirt that she probably need to wash. (The sports bra stayed on though- she practically lived in them at this point, her life a mix of dancing and a lack of privacy).
She slotted the plastic retainer that she was religious about wearing in, and almost thought nothing of it until she bid good night to Changbin and he had a bit of a giggle about the lisp she’d gained, unable to push out the sharp ‘s’ sounds.
And the meds were wearing off after a good ten hours so Sunhee didn’t have to worry about struggling to sleep like she had initially worried.
Much to her surprise, the bunk was exactly the same as the ones she’d slept in just two floors below. Laws of preservation dictated that the lightest person sleeps on the top bunk, and Minho who looked queasy at the prospect of sleeping atop the wobbly frame had taken the single bed. So earlier they’d reached the conclusion that Chan would take the bottom bunk and Sunhee the top. Felix had made a bottom joke and Jeongin had, not quite understanding the mix of English and Korean the Aussies spoke in, had stated proudly that he’d always prefer the bottom bunk.
With tiredness pulling at her limbs and a phone that was just about flat, she dragged herself up the ladder, wishing a goodnight to Chan who’d made himself at home on the bunk below, laptop out with headphones half on. He reached a hand up and patted her side through the bunk rails. “Good night sunshine.”
She woould grumble in response, shoving her phone on the charging cable that snaked up the metal frame and under her pillow, weary of the challenges ahead.
The next two days saw the finalization of lyrics, as the dancers worked on choreography for the chorus they’d finalized and the allocated dance break while they finished up the rest of the song.
Sunhee and Jisung worked on the guide, spending far too long with Armadillo, one of the JYPE producers, ironing out the kinks in their melody and fixing the tone. Chan sat in as well, far too paranoid about the song to let it go unmonitored.
There was one high note that seemed like a punch to the gut and in order to get the pitch right Sunhee has to take eleven cracks at it. Armadillo suggested to maybe reorganise it and pitch it down but Sunhee had been too damn insistent and just kept going. “No, no I’ve got this.”
And when they’d finally finished, The MNet crew had insisted it be filmed when revealed to the other members - to film their reactions, something that was apparently essential. It was the same lady who miced Sunhee up, rubbing another harsh line of tape down her back and across the branding of her T-shirt. 
They met in the dance room where the dance boys were working away, calling the others in to huddle around Chan’s laptop that held the finished guide. She sat next to him, Hyunjin draped himself over her shoulders in a way she’d grown used to with the group of them. Head perched next to hers, eyes fixed on the computer as he let out mutters and comments of praise to the production team.
Seungmin is quick to swipe the intro part, a smile on his face as they go though the track again. Jeongin on the other side looks very anxious about the high pitch of the chorus, worried about hitting the notes. 
The hook is passed off for Jisung and Sunhee to decide amongst themselves the two of them having a pretty similar vocal range. But given that she performed it in the guide and Jisung had rap too account for, she was pretty sure she’d end up with the burden. (Later, in a vocal practice room the two would decide to do a harmony for it, to split the load and worry of performing by themselves- she is singing the highest part but with him alongside her it didn’t seem as daunting).
With parts divided, they allocated a week to sort out choreography and the final week to memorise everything and just run though, practice again and again to really drill it into their heads.
And practice it they do. Minho oversees most of their choreography alongside the company choreographer, the most experienced dancer despite being the most recent trainee. Chan and he swap in and out through their practices, Sunhee hopping in to assist sometimes, and the three of them focus on picking up on mistakes and smoothing out formations.
MNet sat into film one dance practice and poor Jeongin was so nervous he kept making mistakes and Chan, stressed out of his mind, kept pointing them out, making the maknae dance alone until he got it right. Minho stepped in and went through the moves with him pointing out the few mistakes and demonstrating how they should be corrected. The two stayed behind after that practice, Sunhee was tempted to join them but promised vocal practice with Jisung stopped her.
Once again sitting in a semi-circle, each armed with product placement MNet asked them to toast to the success- with coke. Chan took a sip and lied through his teeth about how refreshing it was and Sunhee spotted Seungmin holding back a laugh at the obvious lie. Sunhee, not on her meds for the day had no qualms drinking the coke this time round and made her way through the can as they chatted idly about the performance, waiting for the film crew to call it for the day.
The hours of 10-2 were spent belted high notes and desperate harmonies. Frustrated sighs and tired complaints whispered throughout the small room.
After 2:30 ticked by they headed back to the dorm, and just as she had the night before, Sunhee pulled on her pajamas that she’d washed that morning and left to dry out on the hangers tucked into the corner of their balcony. She filled a water bottle to keep by her bed and clicked the plastic retainer into place as she climbed atop her bunk wishing a good night to Chan who sits awake with his laptop and headphones. He felt his hand along the rail to find where her leg pressed against it and gave two soft pats before wishing her good night in return.
It’s just like that how the routine started. Where the members would practice the choreography, committing it to memory. The vocalists repeated lines until the notes were seamless. Rappers mutter lines like a mantra in every spare moment, keeping their pronunciation on point.
And though all of it, the young members would stumble though their allocated school days- the rule being ‘at least three times a week’ for most of them, including Sunhee (SOPA was more accepting for Hyunjin, much to everyone’s annoyance).
Granted her school was inconvenience to reach- a whole hour from the dorms by train, but given that the other option was online schooling from some sketchy institution her mum had found, it was an obvious choice.
After suffering through school classes- the literature teacher made her read a passage out loud- that was hell, the lot of them were sent in pairs to meet with the JYPE stylists to sort out their outfits for the ‘Hellevator’ performance they had to present.
Sunhee headed down with Minho while the others continued the dance practice. Thankfully, no MNet sharks followed them, and according to Minho, her ‘ease’ was back. She looked at him curiously waiting for him to explain.
“I guess it’s because Australia isn’t as formal as Korea, but there’s just this casualness you carry yourself that doesn't hang around on camera. Shame really, I think it’s part of your charm.” He said it so normally, like it was something she knew about. But in a way, she kind of did, she just hadn’t thought others noticed it as much, but Minho wasn’t finished. “It comes out in performances though, the way you can just own the whole stage. I think that’s one thing I could learn from you.”
“That and how to say no to Jisung.” He laughed, at that. Everyone knew that Minho and Jisung had sort of mellowed each other out, Minho’s stiffness balanced out by Jisung’s, well childhood arrogance for lack of a better term (he was getting in less trouble that was for sure).
The stylists were nice- they’d spoken before of course, for showcase concepts and fittings in the past. Which meant they had known Sunhee for nearly two years now, that they knew she fit seamlessly with the boys and wasn’t attention seeking, and therefore had no snarky comments to make. It was a breath of fresh air after spending extended periods of time with the MNet staff.
A pair of baggy black cargo pants and a smooth black cap with a few red crosses stitched across the edge- because the concept was focusing on the dark days of traineeship, and a softer style of grunge fashion fitted well.
They asked her to put on a graphic T-Shirt too (some band that clashed in greys and white’s across the chest) but when she walked out they tutted and grabbed a pair of scissors. They cropped it so that skin of her stomach just barely showed, but the high waist band of the pants did- which was apparently the reason they hadn’t liked the shirt pre-scissors. A black denim jacket was thrown over the top, one weathered and greyed along the elbows and frayed around the hem.
Minho commented about their matching jackets, pulling out his best impression of an stupid model face, with eyebrows raised slightly and lips puckered. The stylists laughed and giggled, asking to get a photo of the two just to make sure the outfits don’t get mixed up. Sunhee and Minho pull matching expressions back to back in the most dramatic fashion they could muster: one leg popped, hand on hip and Minho’s other arm extended up in the air while Sunhee’s slung over his shoulder.
Eventually they had to ditch the outfits though, and they were back in their daggy dance clothes, long sweats and baggy shirts that stunk slightly of sweat despite their aggressive deodorant tactics before meeting the stylists.
The other members filtered out throughout the day, visiting stylists for their outfits and etcetera as dance practice continued. They’ve progressed into doing full performances every few runs, singing and rapping rather than just dancing. It was pointing out a lot of mistakes, like the difficulty Felix is having with his pronunciation and the instability with Jeongin’s vocals.
And just as their routine dictated, when the night tapered out to a point where they weren’t making progress on their dancing as a group, they would split off into groups and focus on their individual roles.  
And so went the final three days before their performance, when Sunhee would work on vocals with either Jisung or Seingmin and Jeongin. Maybe even sit patiently with Felix for an hour or so, gently correcting the pronunciation of his rap.
Then end up back at the dorm building, almost level the stairwell on the second floor before reminding herself that was where she lived anymore and continue up to the fourth level. She’d  fill her water bottle up, slip her plastic retainer in and bid goodnight to anyone who was up with her slight lisp and crawl into the top bunk. 
When Chan would stumble in a few hours afterwards, he’d whisper apologies for waking her, knowing how lightly she slept and pat her side in the darkness before hunkering down for the night himself.
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Performance day was nerve wracking to say the least, and even though she was thoroughly prepared for it, Sunhee couldn’t help the way her mind spiraled with the worries of the performance, foot tapping nervously at every spare moment, her combat boots scuffing the floor.
Right though the time spent with stylist perfecting their outfits and the mic checks it the cramped evaluation room, one of the basement practice rooms that’s been darkened for more ‘atmosphere’, Sunhee was sweating buckets. She became very thankful for the jacket that hid the sweat stains that had most definitely made their way through her shirt. 
JYP entered the room and they all bowed and welcomed him before he made some obligatory remarks about their song that Chnagbin answered to. There were some compliments about the title, and of course they introduced themselves as Stray Kids despite the fact they had been going by that for some time. Chan delicately explained the meaning, that it meant ‘kids who have lost their way’ taking on board the criticism that it’s too long of a name and Sunhee piped up to remind everyone they had made a shortened version too: ‘SKZ’.
The inevitable however, could only be delayed so much and they were asked to perform the song they created.. Sunhee wasn’t quite in the centre, just to Chan’s left and she sent a reassuring smile to Jisung behind her with a nod of encouragement. One that told him not to worry, that they could do it.
And as the performance kicked into action, Sunhee found herself zoning out, executing the moves with precision. The slight shake of Minho’s voice was concerning but her own lines were up next so she ran her fingers down his arm as he passed though the arches  other members made with their arms, before pushing out her own lines with powerful and stable notes.
When the dreaded high note comes, her and Jisung stood at the front, a gap between them that showed Chan in the centre behind them. Shunee gripped her mic tighter and bent forwards slightly to hit the note, exerting everything in her lungs, while Jisung arched his back and turned his head skyward. Her head fellt fuzzy and throat bare, but they pulled it off perfectly and when he met her gaze as they spun into position for the chorus, she raised her eyebrows at him. Jisung sent a wink back as his cocky smirk took over for just a second. He was proud of himself, and he deserved it- because that was a note not even many girl groups sung in.
The pair seamlessly fell back into the performance as Chan sung the next chorus that bled into the final rap verse and eventually, the dance break.
A breath of relief bubbled past her lips when they concluded with no major mistakes, no one off beat in the choreography or missed notes and after Sunhee drove the final line home, standing centre and holding her breath for a few seconds so her chest didn’t heave from the effort, she couldn’t stop the brief smile from breaking out as they fell out of formation.
And as all nine of them bowed in thanks and stood in a single line, she could feel the nerves present but also the pride beaming from Changbin who stood beside her. They had done well.
But the lot of them clamped their smiles between teeth and awaited the criticism they were bound to receive. No matter how to plan things may have gone it was still and evaluation and no performance was truly perfect.
However, when JYP asked for a phone with a keyboard, Sunhee's heart sank. She’d expected something about the simple choreography of their chorus or the lack of diverity in vocal range. Instead he keyed out the notes of their chorus, with an unpleasant expression on his face. “Who made this song?”
But it isn’t the track he’s talking about, it’s the melody. Sunhee moved to raise her hand, but another beat her to it. Chan’s arm is in the air, a knowing grimace present. She still moved to interject but Changbin clamped her wrist down with his own palm curled tightly around her wrist, subtly shaking his head.
Then JYP spoke. “How could you make a song in the female key? No wonder you guys sang so badly- this range makes no sense. I know you have one female member but you have to cater your songs to the majority.”
it’s criticism meant for her, not Chan. She made the melody not him, she didn’t think properly when plotting it out and centered it around her own vocal range without thinking. It was her that insisted they keep the high note when recording the guide where as the experienced producer helping them had suggested pitching it down. And under all of that still lies the hidden jab- they all sang so badly. Sure he gave them an excuse, under the guise of it being in a female key, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting. They’d tried so hard. She thought they did well.
He went on about how singers who have debuted struggled with that note, that it was foolish to think they could execute something like that as trainees. ”But you still managed to hit the note. It’s surprising.”
“But there were still only two people who I liked.” and there was jab two because there were none of them, sure certain aspects would be lacking- they made the performance and song in under three weeks, but only two people?
“First of all, Jisung-ah, you did better than I expected.” king of backhanded commitments of course, JYP pointed out the fact Jisung was a rapper and managed to pull off the high note, saying he sung extremely well and that the flow of his rap was refreshing. Jisung looked proud of himself as he smiled and thanked their CEO, but the pressure on his shoulders from being singled out was clear, and with how his mind world, Sunhee knew he wouldn’t be satisfied until they all received a good evaluation.
“The other person, Sunhee- ya, you fit very well into the group despite being the only female. It suits you well.” He complimented her high note and charisma- mentioning how she owns the stage when she sings, ‘something that the other could learn from’. She bowed with a bitter taste on her tongue, wondering if he’d compliment her all the same if he knew she helped write the melody
He singled out Chan next, with the same criticism that he had at the showcase- that he needed to be more selfish during his parts. 
Then came the hardest blow-  talk of elimination.
Jeongin, Hyunjin and Minho were under the gun. With Hyunjin’s rap unclear in his pronunciation, while Minho and Jeongin’s vocals were ‘amateurish’.
He rearranged the parts on the spot and asked them to sing again, minimising Jeongin’s lines and asking Minho to rap Hyunjin’s second verse rap
It felt bitter to sing the lines Jeongin had worked so diligently on but Sunhee bit back her complaints and followed along. A small amount of pride swelled in her chest upon hearing Minho execute the rap, Changbin quietly doing backing for him “This is better. Keep it like this.” JYP announced when the finished, Sunhee’s throat felt raw from the high note and stolen lines but she thanked him anyway, as they all did.
“The reason we had to change your parts is because MNet has decided to film and release a music video with the song, and rather than risk imperfections I’d prefer to do it this way, with less room for mistakes.” That was new information, and all of them just sort of stood there, blinking in confusion. “Anyway, you all worked hard, and I look forward to your next evaluation.”
And he was gone, waltzing his way out of the room as if he hadn’t just crushed the souls of nine trainees.
Sunhee sank to the floor with a heavy exhale. Everyone else seemed to pause too, unsure of what was next. Felix scooted his way over, asking for clarification on a few of the things and Sunhee diligently answered his questions. “He said that he changed the parts for a music video and that Jeongin, Minho or Hyunjin might get eliminated if they don’t improve.”
“Oh.”
Yeah, that was the right response, because Sunhee had been so sure they would perform well, she was proud of them- they’d made a track and designed most of the choreography themselves- something that most idol groups never managed, and JYP didn’t even acknowledge that. It didn’t feel like he was in her corner anymore, he’d taken the promised dream and begun tearing parts away. Now he felt like someone to be cautious of, an enemy almost.
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meganwasbored · 1 year
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The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 2 Episodes 5 and 6
(I thought I posted this a week ago but apparently I accidentally saved it in my drafts instead but better late than never)
I finally have the time to watch more I swear this was the most stressful week of my life
Episode 5
-“Breaking The Seal” L E T T E R ?
-I think I’ve been patient enough just open the dang letter before I lose my mind
-“I’ve done terrible things” shoot I forgot he said that is he talking about killing the dragon king or something related to that
-slightly confused about how these kingdoms work, are there multiple kingdoms within Katolis, or are these kings and queens from outside of Katolis
-“it seems I am a crown without an adult, and you are an adult without a crown” !!!!!!!!!
-BOOM GET HUMBLED
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-ofc Viren had to make this all dramatic, literally just showing off at this point
-a NEW threat?? Haven’t y’all been at war for idek how many years?? How is any of this new??
-“there are reports of shadows in the clouds, dragons” MORE DRAGONS
-I take it back this room is boring, bring back the special effects
-I can’t tell if the others are scared of the elves or scared of whatever Viren just did
-I was confused why Ezran seems so chill about his father dying but then I remembered that he doesn’t even know, man this is gonna hurt
-“I won’t send my armies to face unknown danger over a two minute speech. I may be a child but apparently I’m the least impulsive of us all. Besides, I hardly call ‘we’ll do what everyone else says’ a decision.” GIRL
-I may as well quote absolutely everything Queen Aanya says because she’s my new hero
-“Sweet words can be more dangerous than hidden daggers”
-don’t mind me just crying over this flashback scene oh my gosh
-“I know you will stand by me through anything” Whoops actually he just stood there as you were murdered and is now trying to kill both your sons
-bruh even baby Ezran is a menace when it comes to jelly tarts
-“why do I deserve this? What did I do except being born with everything?” Harrow buddy you deserve the world
-Viren is a master manipulator and while it makes me wanna hurt him you gotta admit he knows how to get what he wants
-NO POOR BAIT JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
-dude it looks like Viren actually cared about Harrow a lot what the heck happened to him
-Sarai is literally so awesome why do all the best characters die, this better not become a trend
-Obviously the titan isn’t actually dead idc how dead they think he looks they just went “oh he’s not moving so I’m gonna hammer a stake through him, what can go wrong?”
-Callum and Bait being besties is something I didn’t know I needed
-THE SEAL IS BROKEN I REPEAT THE SEAL IS BROKEN
-fire titan dude is pretty ugly like uglier than I thought he would be
-Venus fly trap looking head
Episode 6
-LETTER TIMEEEEEE
-why did they put this at the beginning I shouldn’t be crying this early in the episode
-they took the dragon egg MONTHS ago??? Did they say this before cause I thought it was like years ago, I’m so confused with this timeline
-IT JUST CUTS OFF???
-YALL BETTER NOT BE MAKING ME WAIT AGAIN TO HEAR TO REST OF THAT LETTER I SWEAR
-oh my gosh I’m freaking stupid this story is how his mom dies isn’t it
-“the injured must be left behind” right when past-Viren earns my respect again he says stupid stuff like that
-“you wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t your wife’s sister” well I don’t see a ring on your finger so how would you know
-“I ask you and your brother to reject history as a narrative of strength, and instead have faith that it can be a narrative of love”
-all these flashback scenes are so cute I just know I’m gonna rewatch the heck outta this episode
-“Rayla, that’s a funny name” it’s literally the most normal name out of every character we’ve met
-The boat guy (I forgot his name so I’m just gonna call him Boat Guy) encouraging Rayla to literally kill people is hilarious
-“I’ve never actually killed anyone”
“Maybe someday! Never give up on your
dreams!”
-“with the heavy heart of the titan, and the additional burden of carrying the wounded” I actually wanna punch him through the screen just the way he said that makes me so mad, like he’s bitter about Harrow not wanting to leave most of their soldiers there to die
-Zym steals my heart all over again every second he’s on screen
-“you can’t control where the river goes, there’s one thing you can know and control, yourself”
-“I want to talk to you about life and growing up and how sometimes there are changes you don’t expect” WAIT IS THAT THE THING CALUM SAID TO EZRAN I THINK THATS THE THING CALLIM SAID TO EZRAN
-“free yourself from the past, learn from it, understand it, then let it go” y’all don’t understand how much I needed to hear this rn
-I KNOW YOURE NOT TELLING THIS POOR GRIL WHAT HER MOTHERS WOULD HAVE WANTED TO GET HER VOTE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT HER MOTHERS WOULD HAVE WANTED
-Viren throwing a baby tantrum the second someone tells him no is hilarious, the child in the room is more mature than he will ever be
-that fact that Harrow gave Callum the cube of all things makes it seem like he knew that Callum was gonna be a mage
-“extra-super-secret-bonus-secret” I love him so much we lost him way too soon
-DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON
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This is a post about me liking Invisible Victory
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HHHNNNNNNNNNNN
BUT WHAT GETS ME AT THE END is just that one stupid bandaid, the one Sousuke’s got over the corner of his mouth on the left. It’s from where he bit his lip in frustration after Leonard took Kaname. I have a lot of emotions about it. I also have a lot of emotions about Leonard and most of them are bad haha… (he’s such a spiteful little son of a bitch).
I’m not really treading any new ground here. I do think IV is a good adaptation. I liked that Sousuke didn’t have to taser Kaname to keep her KO’d and out of the way, but I really wished they’d kept the last thing she says to him before leaving. What did she say thought? No one knows, so I think it would have been kind of a cool scene animated but with no voice acting (if I remember correctly, Sousuke actually passed out after that in the novel, whoops). (My headcanon is that she said “go/live” like his mom did in Voice from the North.)
Actually now that I’ve sat on it, while I feel like Kaname’s general despair in the novel was probably more realistic, her clinging to just the barest shred of optimism & helping Sousuke in the anime set up for it to be even more painful when it didn’t work. Surprise! You two gave it your all and you STILL didn’t make it! No matter how hard they pushed, they weren’t escaping alive together. It’s one of those moments where I think the anime adapted the core emotion and theme of a scene even when they wrote it differently than in the novels.
ANOTHER thing I just thought of is that both of them surrendering isn’t a possibility, either. Not that either of them considered it. I don’t think Leonard would ever accept Sousuke, even if Sousuke stood there and said “You’re right and every point you make is true, let me join you.” Although that would be... kind of hilarious... likely outcomes are Leonard fake-accepting this and then just kind of passively sending Sousuke on some other mission far away to go die so he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty. Or maybe he’d have second thoughts and seriously consider it! Hmmm this is a theory for another post I think.
Finally, my last tracked on complaint about this episode is that the scene with Ono-D at the end doesn’t have as much kick to it if you haven’t seen Fumoffu, and even then, I feel like you probably have to read the novels (including the short stories) to get the full effect of how shocking it is that Ono-D of all people is chucking school supplies at Sousuke and threatening to punch his lights out.
I actually don’t have any real complaints about Burning One Man Force’s adaptation. I liked that they toned down the times where Nami was caught and threatened with sexual violence; that might technically be more realistic, but it was nice NOT to see it. I was kinda sad that they cut out Sousuke’s original excuse for wanting to participate in the illegal battles (he wanted $$$ to buy his prostitute girlfriend’s freedom, he said—anime has been known to cut lines like that out in general and FMP has done it a few times). I know him dragging himself behind cover to shoot Kurama in the stadium fight was more realistic… but I like that he climbed the damn ladder to do it in the anime. That was badass, Sousuke had an entire hole through his gut and he climbed the damn ladder for a surprise attack and then bled out on the floor hallucinating his girlfriend after memorizing the names of three Mexican cities. Love that for him :’ )
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marvelslut16 · 3 years
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Beloved
Prompt number: 1 "I need you"
Fandom: Vampire Diaries
Paring: Damon Salvatore x reader
Rating: T
Word count: 3.6k+ (this is longer than I originally planned)
Warnings: Some Bonnie hate. Death but not...gory I think? Spoilers for season 2 episode 2, even though this show is old now. Mentions blood. Blood drinking, I mean they are vampires. Alludes to the reader having very absentee parents. Probably ooc Damon, whoops.
A/N: His eyes are doing some weird things in this gif, lmao. I started this in like February of 2020, but here it finally is!
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Like everyone, you thought Damon was hot the moment you set your eyes on him for the first time. The way his black hair was styled, and how his button up clung to his muscles, he was insatiable. But unlike everyone else, you had befriended him, and he trusted you more than anyone else. It was the first time since 1864 that he had put his faith and trust into a person, let alone a human.
Like his brother, Damon had feelings for Elena, or so you thought. And while it pained you to watch him pining for your friend, you just wanted both of them happy. Yeah, you had some school girl crush on him, but you would never let your feelings for a guy ruin your friendship with anyone. Well, almost anyone. While you disagreed that Damon should open the tomb, you stood by his side while everyone else stabbed him in the back. You wanted him happy, even if that meant more pain for you. After Bonnie’s Grams died from the ritual she had it out for Damon, always blaming him for every little thing that went wrong in Mystic Falls. This caused a rift in your once strong friendship with her.
You’ve been friends with Bonnie, Caroline, and Elena since you four were in diapers. Bonnie trusted you with her powers from the very beginning, telling you and Elena about them together. However, you had found out about vampires by accident. You were getting some fresh air at the haunted house, running into the whole mess with Vicki. Some kid inside had pushed you, causing you to cut your hand on a jagged edge of a decoration. When Vicki smelled your blood she went crazy, leaving a bleeding Elena to go over to you. Stefan saved your life that night, and Damon refused to make his best friend forget the truth about what he is.
Weeks- months- have passed since that day, and you never left the older brother's side. Metaphorically, of course you physically did, you obviously have school and stuff. And in a whirlwind at your high school’s carnival, you had found out that Caroline had turned into a vampire. You’re strangely calm about the entire thing, pissed, but calm. If anyone could be a good vampire, it was Caroline Forbes.
“You aren’t killing her!” both you and Elena tell Damon at the same time. His eyes are hard as he stares at Elena, but soften when he sees the pain in yours.
“She knows who we are,” he tries to reason. “She’s a liability.”
“She won’t tell anyone!” you glare at your best friend. “Caroline is strong, she can get through this!”
“And what if she hurts you?” he snaps back, Elena and Stefan share a shocked look. Damon only cares about two people; himself, and Katherine.
“Then we cross that bridge when we come to it,” you huff out in anger. “But no matter what, you don’t hurt Caroline.”
You can tell by the look on Stefan’s face that he agrees with Damon, especially after the older one brings up Vicki. It’s two to two, the Salvatore brothers vs. you and Elena. Well, it’s technically three to one, since Stefan doesn’t want to upset Elena and sides with her. You storm out of the room in search of Caroline, walking right past Damon as he calls your name.
When you find Caroline her face is covered in blood, the carnie that was flirting with Bonnie earlier in the night lying dead behind the newly transitioned vamp. You arrive at the scene shortly before Elena and Stefan, hearing Damon tell Caroline he’s going to kill her.
“Damon, please,” you're close to falling to your knees and begging. “Don’t do this!”
“I’m doing this for you,” his voice is low, and he won’t turn away from the blonde to look at you. “To save you. The hunger could be too much, she could snap and kill you too.”
“Or she could learn to control it!” as you're talking Damon’s raising his hand to stab her, quite literally, in the back. Before the wooden stake can touch her, Stefan vamp speeds and yanks it from Damon’s hold.
Caroline runs into your arms and away from Elena, her voice is shrill and broken as she yells at her friend. You try to soothe her as Elena explains that Katherine was the one to hurt her. Caroline’s voice is bound to grab attention, so Stefan goes to take her inside and clean her up so Damon can bury the body. Before Caroline can walk inside, Bonnie walks out to the group and the witch’s face falls.
Your friendship with Bonnie was already on the outs, hating how she so blatantly lied when it came to the Gilbert device. But what was left of the friendship crumbles even more when she shakes her head and backs away from Caroline when she realizes what the blonde now is. Stefan pulls a now crying Caroline into the school.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” tears pour down Bonnie’s face as she realizes that her friend killed the guy she sorta liked.
“Don’t pout about it,” Damon rolls his eyes, carrying a shovel over to where the body is. “We’ve got a body to bury.”
Before Damon can do anything with the body, he grabs his head and falls to his knees. He groans out in pain and you know that Bonnie is giving him multiple aneurysms. You don’t know what to do at first, watching everything unfold in shock. Especially frightened by the fact that Bonnie doesn’t seem to care that she’s hurting someone, she seems proud of what she’s doing.
The witch continues to hurt Damon as she turns on a hose that’s lying a few feet away, water pours out and inches near Damon. Damon is still lying on the ground in pain, you're letting her hurt the man you love. But you can’t do anything, you're rooted to the ground in shock and your voice dies in your throat as you try to call for her to stop.
“I told you what would happen if anyone else got hurt,” there’s no remorse in her voice, she is proud that she’s hurting him.
“I didn’t do this!” Damon cries out in pain, and it snaps you from your shock induced trance.
“Bonnie, it wasn’t his fault,” Elena tries to reason with her friend.
“Bonnie stop it!” you scream at her. “He didn't do anything!”
“Everything that happens is his fault,” Damon is rolling on the ground groaning in pain. Your heart clenches, you don’t know how to help him, how to get Bonnie to see reason.
Bonnie lights the water that's making its way towards Damon on fire, not letting up on the anyersms. He can’t move in that much pain, she’s going to kill him! She’s about to become the thing she hates, she’s about to become the monster.
“No!” an earth shattering cry rips from your lungs. Not Damon. Not Damon! “Bonnie stop, you're gonna kill him!”
When she doesn’t stop you let instinct take over, jumping over the flames to get to her. Your body moves on its own accord when you see Damon's legs on fire, arm raising up you slap her in the face to break concentration. His screams were all you could hear, gnawing at your heart. You just wanted them to stop, just wanted him to be okay! You gasp and so does Elena, neither of you expecting you to smack your friend.
The slap makes Bonnie stop hurting Damon, the aneurysms stop and so does the fire. His screams stop too, and you can hear his panting as he puts himself out. The only problem is that her rage is now directly on you, gasping as the most excruciating feeling washes over you. The only thing you can focus on is the pain you’re in, though migraines were bad nothing could ever prepare you for the pounding in your head now. Your stomach churns and your knees go weak from the pain, dizziness has you collapsing at Bonnie’s feet.
You're aware of the screams leaving your lips, but you can't focus on them as the pain gets worse and worse. You think you can hear other voices' screams mix with yours but the pain is becoming unbearable. Your vision is spinning and going black around the edges, the dark slowly seeping further and further until that's all you see. And all at once everything fades, there’s no more screams, no more pain, and no more vision.
“No, no, no, no,” Damon drops to your side, the word leaving his mouth like a prayer. He uses his fangs to rip the skin on his wrist, shoving the bleeding arm into your mouth. “Please, please be okay. You need to be okay, I need you!”
Bonnie finally snaps out of her trance, backing away and crying more as she realizes what she's done. Elena is staring at her in shock and horror. Bonnie expects rage from Damon, expects to be killed by the vampire. But it never comes. He doesn’t even look up at Bonnie, he’s too busy cradling your body to his chest, keeping his arm in your mouth. Hoping, begging, that he gave you his blood fast enough.
A tear slips down the heartless vampire’s cheek as Stefan and Caroline make their way back outside. Caroline immediately runs to your side wanting to help, and Stefan walks to Elena with confusion written on his face. His brother would never hurt you, so why did he have to give you blood? He can't remember the last time he saw Damon cry.
Overwhelmed by all the people and their stares, Damon runs back to the boarding house with you in his arms. He gently lays you on his bed before grabbing an entire decanter of his best whiskey from his bedside table, drinking straight from it, sitting in a chair beside the bed as more tears silently fall down his face. He listens closely as your already faint heartbeat disappears altogether, tearing a hole in his heart. Nausea crashes over him, he lost the only good thing in his life because of his attitude.
Damon throws the chair he’s sitting in against the wall, it cracks into pieces that fall to the floor. The empty decanter soon follows, the glass shattering, the pieces of glass winking in the light. He leaves the room when he hears Stefan enter the house, ignoring his brother he heads straight to the basement to get blood. Stefan listens closely, stomach plummeting when he can’t hear your heartbeat.
You wake with a gasp, trying to fill your lungs with as much air as humanly possible. Your throat is burning! And surprisingly your head doesn’t hurt anymore, and neither does your stomach. You sit up and take in your surroundings, you're in Damon’s room, noting the broken chair and glass in a corner, something that wasn’t there the other day. Everything is so loud! The rustling of the trees outside the window sounds like someone’s scratching something next to your ear, and you can hear the open and close of a fridge below.
“D,” you call softly, you swear you can hear the smack of what sounds like a blood bag hitting the floor. “Damon?” you try louder.
You blink and when your eyes open again Damon’s standing right next to the bed. He looks so relieved and pulls you into a hug. You melt into his arms, but what's that intoxicating smell? You pull away sniffing the air, eyes landing on the blood bag on the bedside table. No, you think, this can’t be happening.
“Damon?” your eyes are large and filling with water, there is no way you could be dead. He doesn’t answer, just pulls you into his arms again, eventually shifting so you’re on his lap. “What happened? The last thing I can remember is Bonnie- oh my God! She killed me,” you're hyperventilating now, Bonnie killed you!
“It all happened so fast,” Damon's voice is softer than you’ve ever heard. “I thought I was too late, I didn’t think I gave you my blood in time. I was so scared, (Y/N). I thought I lost you,” his body shakes with a sob.
“I’m dead,” you curl in closer to your best friend. “What happens now?”
“I’ll be by your side the entire time, we’ll get through this,” he pulls away to look you in the eyes, his are puffy and red. “I’ll even teach the Stefan diet, I thought I lost you.” you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you. Your new found strength pulling him faster and harder than you planned. “But I need you to drink this for me,” he reaches around you, grabbing the blood bag.
“I’m scared,” you admit quietly.
“I know, sweetheart,” he rubs your back in soothing circles, cradling your head to his chest. “But I’ll be right here for everything, every bad day, for your first hunt, especially for your first compulsion.”
You laugh lightly at how excited he seems about you using compulsion for the first time. You take a deep breath, grabbing the bag from him. You look him in the eyes as you take your first sip of blood, its strangely erotic. The blood coats your throat soothing the unbearable heat, it’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted. Even better than your favorite meal! You let out a sigh as you continue to drink the blood down, you can feel the blood in your veins rushing to underneath your eyes, the fangs poking through your gums. You’re officially a vampire. You feel strangely full when you finish the blood bag, the exact opposite of what Stefan and Damon have said in the past.
The door downstairs opens and shuts, you can hear Elena’s worried voice asking about you. You can also hear her footfalls as she pushes past Stefan and runs up the stairs. She’s standing in the doorway, a worried look adorns her face as she glances between you and the recently discarded blood bag.
“Don’t get too close,” Stefan warns as Elena walks into Damon's room. Your face and spirits fall, you would never hurt Elena. Seeing the hurt, she ignores Stefan and runs to your side, pulling you into a hug. You can hear both vamps make sounds of worry as you hug her back.
“You’re gonna be okay,” she runs a hand over your hair to calm you. She’s always known what to say to make you feel better, but you aren’t sure if her soothing words will help this time.
“You have amazing control,” Damon says in disbelief, standing from his bed to pull you back into his arms.
“Aren’t you thirsty?” Stefan has walked into the room by now.
“No?” it’s more of a question than a statement. “Is that a bad thing?”
“We’ve never seen it before,” Stefan admits, pulling Elena into his side.
“I always knew you were special,” Damon buries his face in your neck. You melt into his arms, the contact warming your now dead soul.
“How’s Caroline?” you start to panic, upset with yourself that you hadn’t thought of her sooner. “Please tell me no one hurt her.”
“No one touched her,” Stefan lets out an incredulous laugh, and Damon’s grip around your waist tightens. “I’ll teach her how to control herself and Damon will help you, not that you need much guidance with that control you have.”
“We’ll give you two some space now,” Elena winks at you, pulling Stefan towards his own room when Damon nuzzles your neck further.
You spend the entire night wrapped in Damon’s arms, you definitely aren’t complaining when he doesn’t let you go for hours on end. It’s a weird adjustment to not need to get up and go to the bathroom, but you’re happy that all those pesky human things can’t interrupt your time with Damon anymore. Damon spends the time curled up with you talking about all the things he’s planning for the two of you to go do; travel the world like you’ve always wanted, move out of Mystic Falls with you, live away from society for a while. It’s not like your parents will miss you that much anyway.
As night turns into dawn, there’s a knock on the door downstairs and you can hear Stefan let whoever it is into the house. About a minute later Bonnie is standing in the doorway of Damon’s room, and when your eyes land on her you curl further into Damon. You aren’t too sure if it’s because you’re scared she’ll hurt you or Damon, maybe both. Damon gives you a kiss on the crown of your head before slipping off the bed, walking to his dresser and digging through one of his drawers. He pulls out a gorgeous aquamarine and diamond ring, the aquamarine is oval shaped with little diamonds circling the larger blue stone.
“This’ll work, right?” Damon hands the ring to Bonnie before sitting on the bed again, slinging his arm around your shoulders.
“What, did you steal this from one of your past victims?” Bonnie scoffs, walking into the room and opening the once closed blinds. You pull away from the stream of light that landed on your arm, it burned more than you had always imagined it would.
“No,” Damon growls, both at Bonnie hurting you yet again, and at her assumption of him. “It was my mothers wedding ring.”
“I can’t take that,” you protest, resting your hand on Damon’s chest, where his heart should beat.
“There’s no one I’d rather give it to,” he whispers, his hand landing on top of yours and holding it.
Bonnie rolls her eyes at you two but sets the ring in the patch of light on the bed and starts her spell. When she’s done Damon grabs the ring from her, not wanting her any closer to you than she already is, and slips it onto your left ring finger. You ignore the way your stomach starts to do flips at the finger he chose to put it on and the fact that it fits perfectly, instead focusing on experimentally sticking your hand into the beam of light. You squeeze your eyes tight as you do this, only opening them you feel the comfortable heat from the sun and not the burning flesh you felt earlier. You throw yourself onto Damon, giggling in excitement that the spell worked, that Bonnie didn’t try to hurt you again.
“(Y/N/N), you have to know that I’m so sorry,” you flinch at Bonnie’s words, pushing into Damon’s side hard, like you’re trying to disappear into him. “I never meant to ki-never meant to hurt you.”
“I think you should go now,” Damon glares at the young witch, shifting slightly so he’s blocking you from Bonnie’s view. “Thanks for the daylight ring, but (Y/N) clearly needs time.” You hear Bonnie leave the room and eventually the house when the front door slams behind her, and you let out an unnecessary sigh.
“D, do you think I acted like a baby when Bo-bonnie was here?” you ask after a few minutes.
“Not at all, beloved. It’ll take time to accept and process what happened yesterday, but you’ll never have to do it alone,” he pulls you in close, he hasn’t let you leave is arms for more than two minutes at a time since you awoke as a vampire.
“I want to get out of here,” you’re shocked when tears start to slip down your cheeks, you didn’t know vampires could do that.
“We can go for a walk,” Damon offers, standing and pulling you up with him.
“No, D, that’s not what I mean,” you stare at your feet, you can’t look him in the eye when you tell him that you’re going to leave him. “I want, no I need, to get out of Mystic Falls, and not just for a road trip. I think I need to move away, at least for a few years.”
“I haven’t been to France in over five decades, how about we start there?”
“Damon,” you whine, not wanting him to turn his back on the people around him like Katherine made him do once. “I can’t- I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t ask you to leave your brother, leave the werewolf search, leave Elena and Katherine-”
“What do they have to do with us moving to France?” Damon cups your cheek when he sees that you’re about to back away from him.
“You’re in love with both of them, I can’t ask you to leave them!” you recoil slightly when Damon laughs at your accusation.
“I’m not in love with either of them, I thought I was at one point, but not now,” Damon invades your personal space when he sees you roll your eyes. You’re standing chest to chest with him, the beam of light from the window makes you look absolutely ethereal to him. “I’m in love with you (Y/N/N), how could you not see that? You’re my beloved, I’m not letting you go now, or ever.”
The tears are streaming down your face again when you pull him in for a kiss, his teeth smacking against yours hard, and yet again you’re happy to have vampire abilities. Damon doesn’t let you pull away when you subconsciously go to suck in air, instead thrusting his tongue into your mouth. When he’s explored your mouth to his satisfaction, he finally pulls his mouth from yours, but keeps you pressed against him. You both take unnecessary deep breaths when he rests his forehead on yours.
“So what part of France are you thinking?” you whisper against Damon’s lips?
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The ring is based off this, just imagine an aquamarine in the center
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yesokaythatsfine69 · 3 years
Text
Moments in-between
Description: HC's of aot characters that are all kinda madly in love with y/n, if only just in different ways. Aspects of Modern au.
Character(s): Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Marco, Sasha, Connie, Historia, Ymir, Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Levi, Erwin, Hanje
POV: 2nd, 3rd
Warning(s):
A/n: I know I said that I was ending my aot works but after the last episode's intense trauma I need some home groan therapy. Also please don't make fun of me for misspelling both Bertolt and Hange's names continually. Enjoy
Word Count: x
Song: lmao listen to everywhere I go by Hollywood undead.
*none of the gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker.
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Y/n invites the AOT gang to a party.
You looked around for your friends, having foolish lost track of the chaotic group after you paused to hang your coat up. You warned them all to remain close, these college parties tended to get a little wild for your liking, but of course, they were all too stubborn.
"Hey you! I already said that we weren't playing Lady Gaga here!" Your ears prickled, and you turned, seeing Hanje at the DJ's box. You quirked a brow but made a mental note of where she was for later.
You moved on, searching for the rest of your friends. You opened the door to a bathroom, finding several girls hunched over, puking into the toilet, sink, and tub. Erwin was standing in the midst of the chaos, holding their hair as they drunkenly emptied their guts.
"Erwin? We've been here five minutes!" Erwin looked up at your newfound appearance. "Y/n! Quick, I think something in their drinks made them sick, you need to warn the other people at this party!" You met his blue eyes, "What?" He made a motion with his right hand, accidentally tugging on a girl's hair and bobbing her head. "Hey!" She squeaked before puking again. "Hurry, Y/l/n! They may not have much time left."
You rolled your eyes. "Erwin, they're drunk, not suffering from food poisoning." He looked down at the girls. "Really?" You sighed.
Later, you came upon Levi, who had been keeping a practiced eye on Hanje and other various members of your friend group. He had designated himself the designated driver of the group, which was admirable but you made sure not too drink too much either, knowing that there was no way Levi could possibly deal with all of you being wasted.
Reiner had challenged Annie to a drinking game, and was in the midst of losing miserably, whilst Bertholdt silently cleaned up the mess that Reiner and Annie created with their squashed beer cans.
You also found ymir and Historia cheerfully dancing to Poker face, and you marveled at the way the two seemed to be in their own world. You smiled, at the red that dusted ymir's cheeks and at Historia's hand on her cheek. A crash from the kitchen behind you caused you to cringe and jump slightly, before you rushed in.
Not unsurprisingly you found Connie and Sasha at the epicenter of the chaos. Neither were drunk but both were still idiots. A broken dish and what had been cheese fries was on the floor at their feet. "Hey! What'd I say about getting into their food?" You pointed threateningly at the duo. "If we do it don't get caught?" Sasha had a fry in her mouth and big eyes. "Clean this up, I'll go get Levi." "Oh, no don't get Levi!" Connie whined, waving his hands dramatically. "I'm getting him!"
Marco and Armin had found a old monopoly game and had sat down to play it in the dinning room of the house. You found it especially funny at the amount of girls the two had unwittingly attracted, who sat down to play with them.
"Y/n!" You perked up and turned, careful to not spill your drink. Jean smiled at you, his eyes the tiniest bit lidded. "Care for a dance?" You had actually been expecting this, since Jean's flirtiness doubled with the mix of alcohol. "You look hot, y/n!" He gently wrapped his hands around you as the two of you slid onto the dance floor. You laughed, enjoying Jean's wild dance moves. Finally he popped into a Russian dig, "hype me up best friend!" He called, and you whooped until he ran right into Eren.
"You drunk idiot! Hello, Y/n!" Eren glared at Jean, but smiled at you. "Look at this drink I made! It was clear but now it's brown!" Before you could respond, Jean hopped up. "y/n doesn't care about your shit drink!" You sighed as the two began arguing, which slowly developed into a tense dance battle between the two men.
Mikasa had been with Eren, you guessed most likely protectively watching over him. She watched with you, before you smirked and outstretched your hand. Mikasa took it, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.
In the soft glow of a living room, you and Mikasa danced together to an old 80's tune, the rest of your friends giving elsewhere. It was a nice party.
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Y/n wears a skimpy outfit
You smiled at yourself in the mirror, tugging gently on your new top. Oftentimes you found it hard to truly appreciate your body, but the corseted top made you feel like a definite hot girl. You wore long black shoes, tight leather pants, dark jewelry. You just looked ready to step on some bitches.
You exited your room, and grabbed your purse, ready to head out with your girls. Eren was sitting on your coach, playing some video game. "Hey we'll be heading out soon so I left some numbers to order pizza for when you get hungry." You turned, digging in your purse for your keys. "Y/n, I'm not a child! I can take care of- holy shit, y/n!" You turned, Eren had dropped his controller, no longer focused on his game. "You can't go out like that! There are men out there!" You smiled and pulled out ur taser, flashing it a couple times. "I know."
Mikasa exited her room from the same hall, entering the living room. "Y/n, you look nice." You smiled and put your taser up. "thanks Mikasa!" "Wait, Mikasa you're going out too?" Eren stood up. "it's girls night out, Eren." You rolled your eyes. "but I wanna go too!" Mikasa opened her mouth but you beat her to it. "No."
The front door opened and Armin entered, his blonde hair flittering in his eyes. "Hey; Eren, Mikasa, and..." A blush erupted onto his cheeks. "Y/n!" His blues casted panicked glances around the room as if he wasn't sure he should make direct eye contact with you.
Eren pointed to his flustered friend. "See!" Again you rolled your eyes. "You look v-very nice, y/n." Armin mumbled before he sat down. "Thanks, sweetie." Armin's face reddened.
Suddenly the front door to the apartment flung open, allowing Jean, Marco, and Connie to enter. They were in the midst of conversation, laughing at a joke Connie had said. "Hey bitch-" Jean's words caught somewhere in the back of his throat as he saw you. His cheeks erupted into fire and he stopped, causing Connie and Marco to slam into him. "Hey!" Connie looked past Jean's frozen position, and smiled knowingly. "Bark, Bark, Bark! Y/n you look a sexy grim reaper!" Jean blinked as you laughed. Connie slid past Jean and made his way to the kitchen, giving the others a greeting as he did so.
Marco smiled at your outfit. "You look so pretty y/n!" Your cheeks were beginning to hurt from happiness and you wondered if you should wear this stuff more often and not just in your dreams. Jean seemed to snap out of it. "You...you...nice, y/n." He managed to get out, not right before Eren made fun of his stuttering.
Sasha exited her room, and to the delight of everyone gave a twirl in her little dress. "y/n! You look very nice!" She may or not have said whilst grabbing your boob. Historia admitted to helping you pick out the fit, and ymir made everyone thank her for her service.
"you should wear this more often, y/n. Or at least less more often." Annie nudged you from behind. You were amazed at her sauveness but also the blush that dusted the tips of her ears.
Reiner and Bertholdt came through the fire escape (because Reiner has been on a "parkour!" Kick recently. But Reiner made sure to call you hot, (effectively pissing off both Jean and Eren.) And Bertholdt simply blushed, quickly agreeing with Reiner.
Finally Hanje, Erwin, and Levi arrived, Levi bringing leftovers from his tea shop. Hanje had squealed and called you "hot!" Erwin was certain you were only wearing a bra and refused to look at you, whilst Levi couldn't take his eyes off of you, but said nothing all the same.
"Well ladies, I hope you all are ready!" Hanje smirked. "Who's riding with me?"
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Y/n gets a tattoo
"So...what do you think?" You stood in front of Hanje, Annie, and Ymir, your shirt raised to your underboob. Hanje clapped excitedly. "It looks great, y/n!" "I like the view." Annie said dryly. Ymir nodded. "yeah it's nice, just don't show Historia."
"Don't show me what?" Historia entered the living room via the kitchen. Immediately her eyes found your tattoo, and she smiled. "lovely!"
The others found the tattoo under different circumstances however.
Sasha had known first, since she went with you to get it originally, having helped you pick out the design. By that I mean, she mainly just agreed with whatever you said but helped you out none the less. Mikasa found out before you were training together, (she thought it looked cool).
Eren found out because he walked in on you in the shower. "Shit! Wait is that a tattoo!?" He would've told you he liked it had you not kicked the shit out of him and lectured him about coming over to your apartment constantly, blah, blah, blah.
Armin found out because you showed him, (and he promptly died a bit) but he also really liked it and you invited him to come get another one with you some time. Maybe, just maybe you had a weak spot for the blonde.
Jean and Connie found out because you sent Marco a snap of it, and they looked at it from over his shoulder. Connie laughed at Jean's sharp in take of breathe and Jean tackled Connie. Meanwhile as they fought in the background Marco sent you a video snap of his response.
Reiner found out via a training session, much like Mikasa. "Why, y/n I never knew what a sly devil you could be!"
Bertholdt knew because Reiner made sure to describe it to him in great detail, knowing that the tall fellow would get flustered.
Erwin was probably told at some point but forgot so anytime he sees in you in a bikini or something skimpy he gets his mind blown.
Levi found out because, you may or may not have sent him a snap (with much different intentions then the one you had sent Marco.) Levi thought it was badass, though.
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Y/n kisses the AOT gang
Yes, you had kissed each member of the gang. For any of these bitches, they could get it, let's be real.
You had given Eren forehead kisses many a time between he and you. This had been pretty random but regardless, it was something the two of you did often.
You often kissed Armin on the cheek, pinching them together whilst you smushed his face and pulled him in for hugs. Really, you loved Armin.
You kissed Jean on several occasions, partially because you weren't one to refuse an offer from an attractive man and also it was the quickest way to fluster the boy. He has the king of talking the talk but never actually walking the walk.
You give Marco and Connie platonic cheek kisses everytime you see each other. They also give you cheek kisses back. Marco also gives hugs!
You blow Reiner kisses all the time because that's exactly what your friendship is.
You give Bertholdt sweet little cheek kisses and he's always a blushing mess afterwards.
You give Erwin goodbye kisses and he always returns them.
You've made out with Levi. His tongue's been in your mouth. Yes, you kiss.
You give Hanje cheek kisses all the time. You seriously love this woman.
You've made out with Annie too. You also give her kisses on her neck just to hear her giggle.
You and ymir don't usually kiss, but you and Historia kiss each other's cheek.
You've kissed Sasha smack on the lips before, and you two cuddle all da time.
You give Mikasa forehead kisses because touch isn't necessarily her love language but you know when she needs it.
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Y/n gets into a fight
You don't get in trouble, like ever. You're reliable, kind, level headed. However sometimes you come across a Titan of an issue and need your friends to rally behind you.
Historia will get into an argument for you, but she isn't scary at all, nor is she very powerful when it comes to muscle might.
Mikasa will kill a bitch for you. Straight up. She may not always show it outright but she loves you.
Ymir would video tape the ass whooping of whoever dares to cross you until they tried to come after Historia. Then she's seeing red.
Annie would laugh at whoever is trying to fight you. She won't step into the fray directly until you need her though, she trusts you do take care of it.
Eren doesn't care if they haven't even thrown a punch if they even say a damn thing that he doesn't feel you deserve he will start the fight. He has no self control. He's an aries.
Jean will also fight for you. He'd be a hundred percent more levelheaded about the problem but he won't let you take shit.
Connie will at first be confused and then pull his signature "bruh" face. He'll be the one that takes the phone from Ymir after Historia gets involved.
Sasha will try to protect you the best she can. She doesn't want you hurt so she'll probably grab a spoon as a weapon and charge.
Reiner is just trying to vibe and then suddenly he's pulled into an all out war. Sigh. But at least it's for you.
Hange will find this all very funny, but she'll help out in between snorts.
Erwin will just stand there looking at your antagonist dead in the eye with the slightest raise of his brow. That's the end of it all.
Armin will go all manipulative bestie on however is bothering you.
Levi merely get in between you. He may be short but nothing scare him and he's literally willing to kick some ass if need be.
Bertolt would just take you somewhere else. Yes he's super annoyed and upset at this person, but he has better things to do with his time.
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Y/n gets a dog
To be honest, you'd wanted a pet for a long long time. Living closely with seven other women- and essentially nine men, had made that prospect rather slim, until one day approximately four months ago when you dropped the question.
The response was rather positive, so you carefully crafted a schedule and supplies.
The little puppy had been the runt of the litter, but that didn't bother you one bit (your not so secret infatuation of a certain 5'2" raven haired fellow solidified that.)
You were the first person to arrive home that day, and when you did you hurried to get the house puppified.
Bertolt came by early that day and was the first to see the puppy. At first he wasn't so sure about the little rascal. It seemed so hyper, a little too hyper, actually. But then, it licked him and he fell in love. He actually completely forgot you were even there he was so enthralled.
Levi came by with takeout, and much like Bertolt he wasn't sure about this creature. He'd always been more of a cat person, but even then he wasn't exactly an animal person. Just too messy. But for your sake he pat the pup on the head. (And to both your and bertolt's shock the puppy began to follow Levi around.
Armin loved the puppy. He immediately scooped it up and sang to it. You had never seen the blonde so happy as he cooed over the little Beasty. He raised it up into the air and swung it until Levi yelled at him for waving the animal over the takeout.
Erwin seemed a bit indifferent to the dog, almost as if the animal had just always been there. He did make sure however to share his food with it.
Hange tickled the poor animal savagely, vowing to buy it a sweater for the winter. You told them they didn't have to, but they refused. "What's a godparent for?"
Sasha vowed to help feed it and promised it that she would only buy it the best food possible.
Marco adored the tiny thing. "have you named him yet?" He had asked while lovingly scratching behind it's ears. "he looks like a sugar...or a Coco?"
Connie immediately sat down and started playing with newly named Sugar. "Connie! You're getting Sugar too riled up." Levi warned, but right then Connie was attacked by the tiny pup, and despite the small size of the dog the sheer force almost knocked Connie over. "Tch, idiot."
Jean was the first to take Sugar for a walk and you joined him. Together the two of you laughed at how cute Sugar looked as he bounced around in the grass. You made sure to have Jean clean up after him though, don't worry.
Sugar immediately fell asleep on Eren who threatened anyone that would dare touch or wake up him. Eren was extremely content with this little ball of joy.
Annie wasn't really excited for the puppy but she did promise to train Sugar when it was time, so there's that.
Ymir tried to act similar to Annie but Ymir is a total dog person, and after a bit she scoped up Sugar and put the sleeping pup on her own lap.
Mikasa was just happy everyone else seemed happy. She did sit by ymir though so she could get a few good pats in.
Later that night Historia grabbed the puppy and took him into her room, which she shared with Ymir. Really this puppy wasn't yours, it was everyone's.
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The AOT gang goes to a concert
You pulled into Eren's hand practically dragging him through the crowd. "That's the last time I'm letting you lead us anywhere, Eren!" He groaned behind you. "I thought the sign said Row one, it was an honest mistake!" You shot him a dangerous glare. "It was a sign for the bathroom!"
Finally you met up with your friends, who were all already comfortably seated, waiting for the concert to begin. "Hey guys sorry we're late, we had some...sign trouble."
You and Eren found your seats, "Good news is if anyone wants to know where the bathrooms are.." you elbowed your brunette friend.
When the concert began, it was immediately pretty damn hype. You and Jean clasped hands and danced together, shouting out the lyrics to the first song at the top of your lungs.
At the second song and Sasha took orders for food, and grabbed some grub. As you waited in the unnecessarily long line you pulled her into a hug and took a quick picture.
When you returned you stood by Reiner, but some big headed bastard had moved in front of your spot. So you climbed into Reiner's shoulders and screamed at the stage from your pretty impressive view.
Connie dared you to throw your bra on stage, but didn't actually think you'd do it. His face, and literally everyone around you, was priceless. In fact, you got a round of applause.
Hanje was video tapping about 90% of it, but they often drapped a hand around your shoulders and pulled you into the video, the two of you singing along to the musicians voice.
You and Levi held hands when a soft song came on, him pulling you into his chest at just the right note. You dipped your head into the chin, enjoying the soft thud of his heartbeat against the deep bass of the speakers. It was nice.
You face timed Bertolt, who unfortunately couldn't attend because he had "work". He enjoyed the concert better from that angle anyways.
You and Historia took a ton of pictures! So many! Some weren't even in focus! But you two didn't care!
Marco grabbed his phone light every chance he got and kept accidentally flashing it in people's eyes. He got you like seven times.
Erwin kept complaining that it was too loud, but you literally saw him full on do the sprinkler because he was vibing so hard.
You and Mikasa went to the bathroom together, and you forced her to take a picture with you. You also got lost on the way back but Mikasa helped guide you back. What would you do without her?
When you returned you ran into ymir and Historia dancing together, laughing and giggling. Damn them and their happiness.
After the show you and Armin went and met the people you watched and got a picture with them. They kept referring to Armin as your boyfriend so in the photo he looks like a tomato. He swore you to secrecy.
On the way back to the apartment you switched riders with Hanje so that she could take Eren home and you could just take Annie back to the apartment you shared. The whole way back you just let loose in the car. Annie could be very loud when with people she trusts entirely.
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Y/n flirts with the AOT gang
Unfortunately for you y/n you're not the sad drunk, clumsy drunk, dancer drunk, you're the flirty drunk. I guess there are worse things, though. These are the times when drunk you has flirted with your friends and their reactions.
One time you got blasted at a work party and Eren had to come drive you home. He was shocked at first, but he truly does care about you and is also the most oblivious person ever so he was just like "okay."
Annie was super confused at first, but she actually really liked the attention. She'd never admit that to you though. So she just kinda bumped shoulders with you and almost knocked you down, had she not caught you.
Jean actually almost shit himself your flirting flustered him so bad. But he realized that you were drunk and immediately lifted you up and took you home.
Armin blushed, squeaked, and giggled. He knew you were drunk but he just couldn't help it. He helped you to bed and you fell asleep next to each other.
Sasha took you out to eat immediately after you said you wanted to go on a date with a hot babe like her, because she just needs one reason to go get something to munch on. It helped sober you up and when you puked she held your hair. Besties.
You did have a line though and you never actually flirted with Historia or Ymir but Ymir always took videos of you drunk and Historia always made sure to help you to bed. Those two were your constant watch dogs though when you were having fun.
Reiner "pretends" to go along with your flirting. He really just likes it because your hawt. "oh really? Tell me more about my eyes." He does however makes sure no one messes with you and always makes sure you get home safely.
When you get drunk around Mikasa the Ackerman always just pats you on the head. Sometimes though she makes fun of you.
Whenever you flirt with Connie hes also drunk so he flirts back. The two of you are the most chaotic drunk duo though and always end up breaking shit.
Erwin tells you to stop. "Stop that y/n, it's weird." But he's always blushing when he says that and he acts like a parent. "No, no more tequila!"
Hange will literally just have fun with drunk you. She'd vibe and even give you her glasses.
Marco would think it's really funny, but he'd stick with you for as long as he needs to to make sure you're okay and then he'll take you home.
Levi will look so annoyed and so done but he'll blush and wrap his fingers with yours. Much like Jean, he'll try to take you home as soon as possible. He gets jealous way too easily for this and often he'll stay the night with you.
Bertolt's brain literally melts. Reiner has to drag him away from you. You've broken the poor man.
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They walk in on you changing
Annie- She opened the door and come in without even paying attention, realized you were essentially naked when you squealed. She rolls her eyes, and mutters "look the door next time," but that's a mental image she'll be keeping for a while.
Armin- he doesn't even allow himself a second peak, immediately putting his hand over his eyes. "Oh! I'm so sorry y/n! I-i-yeah!" He practically runs out of there faster than lightening.
Bertolt- He freezes, and you have to push him out. His brain dies and he stands outside your door for several minutes still trying to process.
Connie- he doesn't even notice you, but when you yell at him he simply turns and farts at you.
Eren- "If you were changing why didn't you lock the door?"
Erwin- "I'm sorry I thought this was the bathroom. Did you get a new book shelf?"
Hanje- She comes in, sees that your changing and puts a hand over her eyes, continuing to tell you what she wanted.
Jean- he puts his hands on his hips and smiles, "you knew I was coming, didn't you?"
Levi- he doesn't really care and neither do you (nothing he hasn't seen before) but he doesn't make sure to shut the door and wrap you on the head. "you have a lock, brat, use it."
Marco- opens door. "Whoops." Closes door. "Sorry y/n!"
Mikasa- "hey y/n," just continues.
Sasha had half a donut in her mouth when she walked in on you and then immediately it fell from her mouth when she turned and saw your body. she blinked and quickly bent over, grabbing her donut and covered her eyes, but only partially.
Reiner- "Hey, y/n I- Woah! Nice ra-" you effectively cut him off by throwing a shoe at his face.
Historia- "Oh! Sorry sweetie, you're so pretty, oh my goodness!"
Ymir- after storming in she proclaims, "Historia saw you naked, I have to kill you now."
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They find you crying
We all have those days, and this is when they find you having one.
Ymir found you in the your bedroom, completely bundled in blankets with the lights shut off. She notices that you've been crying because your sniffing loudly, but says nothing about it. "Hey, Y/n, do you have the wifi password?"
She'd leave, but tell Historia, knowing Historia is better suited to check on and deal with helping you. Historia will walk in and raise her hands, in an open hug. You'll wordlessly scootch over and allow her to slide in beside you and gently pull you into her grasp.
Sasha heard you crying and grabbed her comfort snacks, a blanket, and the puppy. All of which she carried into your bedroom. The two of you would sit, eat, and watch some comfort shows. "it's the best medicine!"
Reiner saw your car parked outside the apartments and thought he'd knock on your car window. When he got up to your window though, he noticed the tears that were streaking down your face. He'd immediately climb into the other side of the car, hopping into the passenger seat. You're shocked, having not even noticed him hanging outside your car to begin with. "Uh, Reiner?" "So," he buckles up. "Who did it?"
Mikasa could hear you crying when she was up late at night, (your door had been open a crack.) So she grabbed some ice cream and two spoons, and wordlessly walked into your room. She said nothing and didn't press you for information, and the two of you shared Sasha's favorite ice cream.
Marco witnessed you go full on break down mode after a ROUGH day and immediately gave you the greatest pep talk known to man. You were so amazed at his genuinely kind words you stopped crying, but Marco had become so touched that he had started.
You had actually went to Levi's apartment, and sat with him. He made you tea and listened silently as you told him about what had happened and how sad you felt. He didn't press any advice on you or dry your tears with grandiose words, but he genuinely listened and acknowledged your feelings. Then you cuddled, and it was more than enough.
Jean said something flirty to you and for one reason or another it set you off and tears were aflowing. At first he panicked because he thought he made you cry. When he realized it wasn't him, he gently brought you into him and held you as you cried into his shirt. Finally you looked up at him and he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, "Would sex make you feel better?"
You called Hanje and told what happened after a particularly rough day, so she and moblit went and grabbed you some takeout and spent the day with you. They even took you to egg the offenders house. Revenge is sweet.
Erwin thought you were sick, so he left after finding you crying in your room, bought you soup, made it and just acted like you were sick. You didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.
Eren saw you crying and then flicked you in the head and promptly left. You were stunned, but also found it funny and confusing, so you stopped crying.
Connie facetimed you and by the end you weren't crying because you were sad, but because Connie's really fucking stupid.
Bertolt noticed you were in your room for a while so he checked on you. He gave you a hug and then asked you very nicely to "stop crying."
Armin literally sat his ass down and stayed with you until the two of you fell asleep. He's a top tier friend who cares deeply about your emotional health so he does everything he can to sort you out. He holds your hand, nods, listens, gives you advice, and agrees with you.
Annie calls you a crybaby but she sits down beside you none the less. She doesn't press nor did she speak. But she wants you to know that's she's here in her own special Annie way.
--------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading! Remember, requests are open!
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ruby-whistler · 3 years
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i made a list of the vibes of the hermits i watch, so you might want to check some of them out! this is just mostly jokes, but i thought all of the more “serious” propaganda was missing something, so have what truly makes hermitcraft worth it; the players’ unique styles!
will be back on my dsmp stuff asap but it’s the first day of season 8 and i would really appreciate if you checked them out through the links provided :]
Grian; [ episode one link ]
vibes of a 17 year old mcyter, is actually 27 and married
noo not my red jumpah!
chaotic capitalist
someone is making the server better through order? *starts another war* whoops, hand slipped :D
he built a- he rebuilt his entire megabase in survival, above a giant lake of lava, in the nether, on hard mode, upside down??
“watching as scar dies over and over in my trap is peak comedy and i’m tired of pretending it’s not” but it happens like 5 times i every season
video editing is very main-stream and good for short attention spans!
*sad montage over losing stuff he’ll get back in 15 minutes because he’s rich*
pesky birdd! great elytra flier! amazing builder! will tnt your house! poultrymannn!!
wholesome, chaos incarnate, talented architect
why won’t mumbo respond to my messages it’s been two weeks :[ (clingy)
doors???????????? your house has doors???? no doors for you good sir!
will laugh a lot at a lot of things, esp when he’s with his friends
genuinely just so fun to watch
Mumbo Jumbo; [ episode one link ]
perfect british accent
mustache man (warning: he has no mustache irl)
*fails ten businesses in a row* iskall please help
redstone is his element
“it’s actually quite simple” i like your funny words magic man, now can you repeat how in the hell you made a that fancy vault work-
filmographer?? i think? met up with grian irl
him and grian have a robot son named grumbot. that has nothing to do with the vibes but i had to mention him because he means a lot to me.
tries to stay out of wars and server politics until someone (grian) drags him into them
minigame maker, makes the hermits competitive and that is scary (also very funny) e. g. button, hermit challengesss!
“it’ll be fineee” *que shot of everything on fire behind him*
makes his base a living being and then all his neighbors end up feeding it instead of him
conspiracy theorist. bumbo baggins. the usual.
very entertaining videos that help you learn more about minecraft mechanics!
GoodTimesWithScar; [ episode one link ]
wheelchair creator with literally the best vibes
so wholesome i. he is so cool he makes me so happy :’D
*extremely cool announcer voice* ooooo hello there my fellow miners and crafters, good timeees with scar heree, and welcome backk to the wonderful world of hermits and crafting, and we’re flying over-
commentates everything extremely well
spends tenths of hours on builds within a single video and doesn’t bat an eye
lore for all of his builds! he builds these amazing bases to tell a story!
“i wanna see white flags! white flags, outside your base, by-“ wait no wrong anti-rebellion army leader
all videos have a clear objective
mostly building, but he loves hanging out/helping his friends!
loves disney movies! wants to go to space! :D
kind-hearted, always makes everyone else smile
can be chaotic but usually just tries to have fun and make sure everyone else has fun too
*flies into a tree on half a heart* wait what why did i die D:
scar. scar please eat. you’re going to die for the tenth time this video-
the non-chaotic capitalist, has extremely creative shop designs
a danger to himself, but also the kind of person you can’t be angry at for long
BdoubleO100; [ episode one link ]
the guitar music at the beginning of his videos brings a smile to my face, it just has such an immaculate mood
*camera pans over him as said music plays* ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of hoimycraffff
the way he talks is extremely endearing
one of the best builders on the server - probably best builder of interiors in existence
able to make a palette using any number of strange blocks and then make amazing builds using it
built a whole castle as a backdrop, then built an entire giant mountain for said castle
extremely sensitive to short jokes, usually gets pranked by others because his reactions are always so funny
his daughters show up from time to time in his room while he’s recording and it’s so cute
*has no way to see the sun but still knows it’s nighttime* gotta go schleep!
scar, pointing at him “this is why we can’t have nice sunsets”
(scar dies because of mobs every time bdubs isn’t on the server to sleep)
likes to be accomplice because he isn’t the one being made fun of (/lh)
*shoots himself in front of a confused grian because he thinks the guy wants his face again when he’s actually just looking for a netherportal*
is usually the underdog so it feels good when he wins
they’re all actually such great friends so it’s genuinely funny to watch
he himself is amazing at entertainment and just a very cool guy
ImpulseSV; [ episode one link ]
what’s going on everyone, my name is impulse and welcome back to hermitcraft!
always speaks with a smile in his voice
has a good dynamic with basically everyone
great co-worker and always helps out if he can
had his base turned pink during the swap, and instead of changing it back afterwards, he dyed his skin’s hair and clothing pink to match it
very cool and original building style!
makes a lot of farms and sells what he gets in his few shops
makes money to be able to do more stuff and make more farms
blows up most his base ever so often to rebuild parts. you know, like a normal person does in minecraft survival.
the grind is never over
the guy who always gets all of the work done on the school project and proceeds to be chill about it
always has very cool side-projects going on and puts his heart into all of them
pog timelapses!!
Rendog; [ episode one link ]
*short, funny scene from the video at the beginning slowly fades out into great music
dogs howling as the half-dog half-cog logo comes up*
greetiiings cyberdogs and citizens of the interbubs! this is ren diggity dawg coming atcha, in another minecraft episodes varuuummm the hermit. craft. server. (hey!)
we’re kicking things off today my friends, from the- *location name on screen*
that intro gets me hyped every time
he’s a furry who talks in bro language it’s great i swear - very atypical but fun
he transformed an entire biome into a star wars planet for his base
his building skills and dedication are incredible
horny (just a little bit)
the only person who cared about mycelium in the whole rebellion
does a lot of roleplay-themed stuff and mysteries to be solved
“b-dubba-dubs one hundred”
extremely upbeat & sweet guy
adds -age after everything “biddage” “flyage” to make it sound Cooler
amazingly positive always and funny as hell
mcc winner!! wooooooooo :D
always tries to be where stuff is happening and interact with people
very entertaining editing style
Iskall85; [ episode one link ]
drives joke into the mud and then picks them up and does it again which is funny
starts videos with one-off bits
iskallman!!! the superhero literally no one needed and yet there he is
only has one (1) braincell when with mumbo
they both do and they’re hilarious together every time
like when they laughed at squeaky noises for ten minutes straight. guys please you’re adult men
bernie the leaf master
omega (something) of doom!!
encourages gambling (in a videogame)
he has so many jokes he keeps using i can’t possibly fit them all in here
basically a wildcard
i have no idea what he’s doing this season
i have no idea what he’s doing ever actually
tame chaos, confusing to the point when it’s funny again
really great builder as well!
mostly for younger audiences but his videos are a good watch in general
feel free to send asks about hc! i’m already loosely involved in hermitblr but yeah, my dsmp followers aren’t immune :] /lh /j
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Spoon me, you idiot
Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.
Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.
Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.
Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.
Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.
With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”
Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.
“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”
Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.
Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.
It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.
When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.
“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.
“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.
She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”
Buck can only nod.
She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—
“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”
“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.
“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”
Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.
Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”
“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”
She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.
Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.
In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.
Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.
He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.
Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?
Buck very slowly puts the phone down.
He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.
His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?
Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—
it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.
It’s a loud silence. Deafening.
Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.
Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.
Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.
Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.
Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—
No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!
Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.
He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.
When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”
Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.
“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”
“Was wondering where you were.”
“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”
“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”
“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.
“When’s the last time you slept?”
Buck shrugs.
“Answer, please.”
God, what a dad.
(Not that Buck would know.)
“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”
“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”
“Well, we’re inside.”
“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”
“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.
“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.
“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”
Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.
“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”
“But I—“
“Come to bed, Buck.”
And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.
Buck’s throat is very, very dry.
“I… yeah. OK.”
Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.
Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.
The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.
Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.
“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.
Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”
“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”
“You’re not even looking at me.”
“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.
Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”
“Buck, you must have done this before.”
“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”
Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.
“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”
Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.
Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.
“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.
Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”
Buck stutters on his next breath.
“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.
If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.
Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”
“What are you—“
“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”
Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.
“Eddie, Eddie I—“
“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”
“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.
“You won’t,” Eddie says.
“I almost did.”
“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”
“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.
“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.
“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“
“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”
“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”
“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”
Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.
“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.
Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.
And then:
“Just so you know, I love you.”
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americxn · 3 years
Text
“What happened? What the hell happened. Why do you make it so hard to love you?”
Kai Anderson x GN!Reader
This is definitely not good enough to enter, but I used the prompt from @tatesimper anniversary writing competition so I guess this is my entry? (fig, I’m so sorry for butchering such a good prompt lmao)
also, I realised when writing it that this could serve as a prologue to this fic:
https://americxn.tumblr.com/post/652835852669648896/paranoia
wordcount: 2.5k
warnings: genocide/murder mention, swearing (this is based off episode 11 of season 7)
The night air was cool on your exposed face as you took the front steps to the door of Kai’s house, not bothering to knock as you pushed it open, the warmth and light from within spilling onto the smooth concrete of the front step and pooling around your feet; having been in a committed relationship with Kai from a year and a half now, this house was practically your own. Stepping past the front porch after abandoning your shoes and jacket, you entered the uncharacteristic quiet of the house, scanning the hallway for any signs of life, usually abundant within these walls in the form of Kai’s blue shirt-clad, blindly deferential followers. 
 “Okay. A little bad news to start,” your body instinctively angled towards the voice, distinctly Kai, that sounded through the empty hall from the back room. You set off down the hallway, his voice growing in volume as you approached, somewhat confused. He hadn’t notified you of a scheduled cult meeting that evening and yet his tone of voice was threaded with the assertive cadence that he utilised only when addressing his followers.  “It turns out finding a thousand pregnant women to murder is super hard. No one will ever accuse me of lacking ambition.” He continued as you reached the threshold to the large room at the back of the house that served as a secondary living room; breath catching in your throat, you halted, your hand reaching for the wood of the doorframe to steady yourself as the meaning of his words settled into you. To murder? “So, Night of a Thousand Tates is off.” A ripple of groans and dejected sighs rose from the small sea of men at Kai’s words, quickly falling silent to allow him to continue. “But, Night of One Hundred Tates is on.” His words sent a wave of prickly dread spider walking down your spine; he hadn’t told you about any of this. Killing a thousand pregnant women? You wanted to stride into the room with a bright laugh to wave away his abhorrent words and demand for the real reason that he had called a meeting. But you knew. A terrible, truth filled part of you was all too aware that he was deadly serious A chorus of thrilled cheers drifted up from the small crowd in twisted elation with the newly revealed knowledge that their hands would still be stained with blood by the end of the night. Your breath became too loud in your ears, your mouth turning utterly dry as you examined your suddenly empty mind for a solution to Kai’s monstrous plan that you could use to convince him to call it off. But you came up short, taking a small step back into the safety of the dimly lit hall, your back coming to press against the wall beside the open doorway to ensure that nobody would be able to see you eavesdropping from within. This was too far. Kai had done many questionable, twisted things over the past year but this... this was too far. You were full of self hatred for the amount of things that you had stood aside for and let Kai go ahead with, but not this. You refused to take so much of an ounce of accountability for this. Pulling your phone from the confines of your back pocket, you drew in a shuddering, grounding breath, your thumb working on the keypad. The digit shook as it pressed onto the screen, your teeth catching between your lower lip as your gaze flicked from the brightness of the device’s screen to the open doorway at your side. The sequence of 911 you had typed glared up at you, bathing the underside of your jaw in artificial light as you craned your neck, leaning forwards slightly to peer into the room. Kai stood by the far wall, his men arranged in a neat group before him, all sitting straight backed to attention on their chairs.  Just behind Kai, displayed on the low table pushed against the wall were two silicone models of a woman’s torso, ripe with the swell of a baby within; one was positioned to the side as a cross sectional diagram, the other facing straight on, the small model of a baby in the third trimester curled up within the artificial uterus. Your attention snapped back to Kai as he took a step forwards to address the group.  “Look under your chairs, I’ve handed each of you a unique list of targets, all ready to pop.” Your stomach twisted in horrified disbelief as the men all shifted in unison, pleasure curling the corners of their lips upwards as they read the names of the people they were soon to mercilessly slaughter. You watched with teary eyes as an impressively built, stocky man who you didn’t know the name of slowly lifted his hand to the ceiling, Kai’s eyes immediately flicking to him in agitation. “You raise your hand one more fucking time and I will cut it off.” The powerfully built man visibly shrunk down into his chair at Kai’s hissed statement of reproval but timidly uttered his question of “how do we know they’re all pregnant?” Kai’s eyes flashed in impatient annoyance as he tore his eyes off the man, flicking them briefly up to the ceiling before deigning to answer. “Because Gutterball pulled the rosters of four ob-gyns, two Lamaze classes and a Momtra Yoga over on Main. Great job, Gutterball.” The blond man who went by Gutterball, sat on the front row of chairs close to Kai, beamed in self-gratified delight at Kai’s gracious recognition, lifting a fist into the air in triumph. Kai smiled proudly down at him before turning to address the group as a whole once more. Your eyes flicked down to the bright screen of your phone, the numbers displayed there beckoning. Your thumb twitched, a conflicted frown creasing your forehead as Kai continued on, pulling your attention back to him. “Manson’s family - I admire them, but they did get a little sloppy.” You watched on in nauseating alarm as Kai pulled a large blade from the black sheath at his hip with a flourish, the metal glinting in the light of the room. “Their message got lost in their mess. What we are doing requires more precision. It is imperative that both mother and child are impaled. Don’t fuck this up.” He scanned the gathering before him, gaze as sharp as the knife clutched in his grip before turning to the models behind him.  “Aim for the belly button but stab in a downward motion. If you stab straight,” in one fluid motion, he had buried the curved tip of the blade in the portion of the fake uterus just above the baby’s head with a solid thunk, “you miss the baby - and our entire message is lost.” Withdrawing the knife, he turned back to address his cult, the weapon hanging loosely from his fingertips by his thigh. “Tomorrow night, when your blades tear open one hundred pregnant bellies, you will be releasing a power into the universe. Detonating a neutron bomb of truth, blood and amniotic fluid. You will be galvanising an army.” “With their sisters gutted, women everywhere will be forced to react. They can’t ignore an injustice this brutal. They’ll have to rise up, and in their collective rage, they will train it on Senator Jackson, on all incumbents, on any of the people in power who failed to keep us safe. As the most vulnerable are slaughtered, as the pregnant bodies pile up on Senator Jack-off’s watch, we will be surfing an electoral bloodbath straight to Capitol Hill. And then… the White House.”  The collection of cult members all voiced their assent in a chorus of whoops and ovated cheers, a nauseating sense of unease dragging it’s claws up the length of your spine. You turned away with hot tears blurring your vision, not wanting to hear more, your phone a heavy weight in your hand and the decision it presented even heavier.
Sat on the edge of Kai’s large bed, your knee couldn’t cease it’s anxious bouncing, your lower lip chewed raw by your teeth. The door swung open suddenly, sending your heart leaping into your throat. Kai stepped into the room, the small smile stretching across his lips broadening as he beheld you perched on the mattress’ edge. “Hey, when did you get here?” He questioned, reaching to tug you to your feet and wrap his arms tightly around you in a warm embrace. “I only got here like five minutes ago.” Your lie was muffled into the thin shirt at his shoulder, his hands splayed flat on your upper back as he held you close to him. Withdrawing yourself from his grasp, you frantically scanned his face, heart sinking at the pleasure dimly glowing in the depths of his dark eyes, pleasure fuelled not by your sudden appearance, but in anticipation of the merciless slaughter that he would be carrying out in mere hours time. “What?” He asked curiously, his head tilting slightly in concern as his smile faded, caught in the grave despondency of the stare you had him pinned under. His tape-wrapped hands settled on his shoulders; shaking him off, you stepped away, your chest bubbling with emotion that was dangerously close to spilling over. Dropping your gaze to the floor, you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, forcing the tears that threatened to flow to stay at bay. Groaning through clenched teeth, colourful sparks flashing through your blocked vision from the force with which you pressed your hands into your eyes, you blindly felt Kai’s warmth as he stepped forwards to comfort you. Dropping your hands, you retreated another step, Kai stilling at the look of stangled confliction latching onto your features. “What happened?” Voice breaking, you brought a hand up to press against your forehead, icy panic unfurling in your gut amongst the turmoil of roiling distress flooding through your insides. Kai looked utterly lost, his eyes boring into yours as he searched for an answer to the question that he couldn’t understand. “What the fuck happened to you, Kai?” His heart splintered at the raw anguish in your choked, lamenting tone, automatically taking a step towards you, wanting nothing more than to smother the emotions swarming your features. “I used to be so, so happy with you.” His lips parted in disbelief as you continued. “I would’ve done anything for you.” You couldn’t help the tears that spilled over, your voice pushing past the quivering of your lower lip and growing in strength, your breaths turning sharp and rasping as they were sucked in between your passionate words. “Y/n…” He didn’t know what to say as he watched you struggle to keep a grasp on coherency.  “I don’t know what happened to him. To the Kai that I fell in love with. But he’s gone now. He’s gone and I don’t know how to get him back.” Sorrow gave way to desolate fury as you plowed on, your jaw clenching as you stepped towards him to deliver a harsh shove to his hard shoulders. Kai fell utterly silent, stumbling back slightly under your touch, unnerved and unsure by the eruption of messily confessed words that spilled from you, seemingly out of nowhere. “Answer me.” You demanded gruffly, shoving at his solid frame once more. “I… y/n, I don’t know-” With a third shove, his eyes flashed in agitated warning, silently daring you to repeat the action a fourth time. You did, shoving at him with as much force as you could muster, breathing hard when he took ahold of your wrists, pulling you to him and pouring his branding stare onto you. “Stop.” Your face was flushed, plump tears cutting through your face and dripping from your chin as you plowed on. “What happened, Kai?” His nostrils flared, eyes wide in confusion as he battled to grasp onto your thoughts, to make coherence of the biting words falling from your lips. “What happened? What the hell happened. Why do you make it so hard to love you?” Your ragged breaths filled the sudden silence in the room, the roaring silence infiltrating Kai’s head drowning out all other sense as he stared down at you in cold disbelief, your eyes wild and face screwed with festering ardour, raw and demanding, your lashes damp with bitter tears. A symphony of surprised shouts echoed up the stairs from the ground floor of the house, Kai’s attention snapping to the door at his back and eyes flooding with sharp panic. He released his hold on you as the cries from below grew in volume, laced with alarm. A single gun shot rang out and it was your turn to take ahold of Kai, the tape wrapped tightly around his wrists warm under your fingers. His head whirled back to you, his eyes alight with uneasy confusion, his gaze frosting over. Bringing your face closer to his, you laid a single, lingering kiss to his lips, your own wet against him. “I’m sorry.” You said quietly, several heavy sets of footsteps sounding from behind the door as they thundered up the stairs. Kai’s eyes frantically searched yours as he pulled against your unrelenting grasp, his gaze briefly parting from yours to snap to the door as the sequence of footsteps and shouts grew louder. “But I can’t let you do this.” His throat bobbed, his eyes widening in terror as the reality of the situation settled over him. “I sentence you to rot.” Tugging at his wrists, you forced your face closer to his before muttering to him, your breath hot on his face and the recognition of your betrayal manifesting in the cold fire smoldering in his gaze: “Just like how my love for you has turned to rot.” His face contorted in rage as the bedroom door was forced open, the panel of wood swinging open and hitting the adjacent wall with a bang, several armed policemen flooding into the room. You loosened your grip on his wrists, stepping away as two of the men took ahold of Kai by the back of his shirt, twisting his arms behind his back. He shrieked in rage, straining to turn his head towards his assailants as they began to pull him from the room. Sinking down onto the edge of the bed, you locked eyes with Kai’s as he turned back to you, cool rage simmering in his dark gaze, his lip curled into an enraged snarl. He pinned you with his stare, not even bothering to fight against the men holding him as he was pulled from the room, a savage promise glittering in his unrelenting stare. A promise of vengeance. Of suffering. 
taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremacist @ikkleroniekins @ananad1 @shlutnutt @mossybank @tatesimper (dm to be added or removed <3)
162 notes · View notes
sambvcks · 3 years
Text
redefined, b.b. x reader
Tumblr media
summary: just because those ten words no longer wreak havoc on his mind does not mean they are gone. just redefined.
warnings: mentions of food, blood, gunshot wound
word count: 3.7k....whoops
author’s note: first standalone! i’m also itching to work on a sam story next. the last episode still lives in my mind rent free and this is a reworking of that which diverges from civil war and we get one big happy avenging family that aren’t dead :)
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Longing
An Avenger.
The concept was still so foreign to Bucky, despite dozens of successful missions under his belt and a permanent residence in the tower. Still, every morning he sprung up in bed expecting to still be in some run-down apartment halfway across the world, on the run.
Instead, he would awake on a plush mattress that offered little back support. He would shuck on the first shirt his bleary eyes could see and pad into the hallway, the smell of fresh coffee overtaking his superhuman sense of smell. You would be perched at the kitchen counter, pouring over mission files stained with coffee rings that Tony would later complain about.
Steve and Sam would have already come through on their way to their morning run, the coffee pot running dangerously low. You’d already placed his favorite mug nearby, two packets of sugar emptied into the bottom. A routine.
Bucky didn’t think he’d ever have a routine again.
His hand would press against your shoulder in a familiar greeting as he passed, you’d grin up at him with sleepy eyes and a lazy smile before returning to your work. Your cereal sat forgotten beside you, the overly sweetened kid’s choice growing soggy.
It was a silent and comfortable interaction. Neither worked to fill the quiet or felt the need to. Even with Steve, there was always talking and planning and ‘what about this’. With you, it was so natural to just exist how he was in that moment. No excuses, no whispered apologies.
He pushed his back against the sink as he sipped at his coffee, eyes immediately settling on your distracted figure. Your pajamas were wrinkled, mouth formed into a perfect concentrated from as you hunched uncomfortably, hand scribbling furiously. He swallowed and decided you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen, especially with your coffee breath and fingernails chewed to nubs.
He wanted so desperately to move across the kitchen and press himself perfectly against you, to push aside your paperwork and demand your sole attention. His hand clenched into a fist as he longed to feel your soft, round cheeks in his hands, how warm you would feel against the cool metal of his left and how you’d nuzzle closer still.
He hadn’t heard the dragging footsteps of Steve and Sam returning from their run and didn’t even notice them until they were settled at the doorway, watching him watch you.
“Morning.” Steve grinned, all knowing. Bucky cleared his throat and refocused on his mug.
“Morning.” Bucky replied with a look that said ‘don’t say anything’.
Rusted
Bucky learned that if you weren’t cooped up in your room or camped out on the kitchen island, you were tucked away in Tony’s garage. On slow days where it seemed everyone was off in their own little world, Bucky would know to find you under the hood of one of Tony’s vintage cars, each kept in pristine condition, but you claimed that ‘there’s always something to work on’.
Bucky was never a car guy. His family was too poor to even think of ever owning his own car. He didn’t even have his own license and technically couldn’t legally ride his bike either. He found out quickly that being an Avenger meant the term legal could be bent a bit. So, he wasn’t a car guy. But the sight of you with streaks of grease across your face and your raggedy workshop clothes would have him buying one just to see you work on it.
You were notoriously protective of your little hideaway, the music loud and the sound of metal ringing as you fixed and fiddled with every little thing. Steve nearly got a wrench to the face when he tried to distract you from Tony’s antique Chevy.
Bucky was different, though. He was always different.
He would sit himself on a tall stool positioned next to one of Tony’s many rolling tool chests. You’d call out a tool and he’d rifle through the collection until he found what he thought was the right one and only slightly tease him when he’d emerge with the wrong one. Typically, you’d spend these afternoons in silence, the thumping of the heavy base of whatever crazy metal album you picked the only soundtrack to your work.
Sometimes, though, you’d play gentle rock music. Bucky would ask questions on what you were doing, how you learned to do all of this, why you did it when Tony worked on these cars enough for the both of you.
You’d fish your rag from your pocket, concentrating on scrubbing the grease from under your fingernails as you answered.
“I like using my hands. I like fixing things. For every car that Tony has in this garage, there are hundreds just like it sitting in junkyards gathering cobwebs and rust.” You looked up at him from under eyelashes and Bucky knew you were speaking about much more than just hunks of metal. “They’re worthy of love and care.”
You were talking about him, too.
Seventeen
Bucky didn’t think this superhero business would have so many parties. There seemed to be a celebration for everything. Galas, fundraisers, full on parades whenever Tony happened to wake up in a good mood.
At least this one is a holiday, he thought to himself as he nursed his third beer of the hour. Not that it did anything other than keep his hands occupied.
The year was coming to a close, and the top floor of the Avengers Tower was decked in golden confetti and banners to ensure no one forgot. The music was obnoxiously loud, and the lyrics made little sense, but everyone seemed to be having a good time mingling and even venturing to the dance floor.
No matter how many times Sam tried to drag him in with an invisible rope, Bucky was not going to dance. Well. Maybe he would if you asked.
The party had been in full swing for hours now, with only ten minutes until the ball a few blocks up finally dropped and he could sneak away to his room without a teasing ‘bedtime already, old timer?’ from Nat.
Still, the party raged on and he eyed the glass door to the balcony. He downed the last of his beer, brushing past enthusiastic partygoers with his shoulders hunched forward in some attempt to minimize the space he took up in the room that only seemed to be getting smaller. He caught Steve’s eye on the way out and plastered on a smile in response to his disappointed look.
He let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding as soon as the glass door slid closed behind him. His eyes closed as he leaned back against it, the chill of the December New York air blew his hair in every direction.
“Fancy meeting you here.” You were sat in the far corner, so well hidden he hadn’t even noticed you, though he had been on the lookout for you all night. “Tired of the festivities?”
“And Tony’s music.” He grumbled as he fell into the seat beside you.
“Been waiting for you for the past thirty minutes. Honestly, you made it a lot longer than I could’ve in there.”
You were waiting for him. You wanted him to be there, with you, tucked away from everyone else’s prying eyes. He wanted that, too. Sometimes he wanted it so much it scared him.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, doll. It’s not polite for a gentleman to make a girl wait.”
“Hmm, I think I’ll find it in myself to forgive you.” Your shoulder pressed against his, eyes focused on the smattering of buildings surrounding you. Identical parties were happening in each of them, you were sure. “Can you believe another year is gone?”
“I can’t believe I’m about to make it to 2017 and my back hasn’t given out yet.”
You laughed, loud and unabashedly in a way only Bucky could make you laugh. Head thrown back and eyes glittering from the city lights, Bucky wanted to spend every new year you would allow him to by your side, trying his best to make you laugh again.
“Well,” You stood to peer over the glass railing, Bucky close behind you. You could hear the drunken cries inside as the countdown begun. “I’m glad you did.”
“Me too.” Bucky offered his hand to you. You took it easily.
5, 4, 3…
He wanted nothing more than to pull you close, to finally press a kiss on the lips that had thrown teasing remarks at him during missions. To once and for all end this little dance you both loved so much. But you looked so perfect.
Bucky wasn’t ready to ruin that perfection with everything wrong with him quite yet.
“Happy 2017, Bucky.” You whispered as the fireworks started, but Bucky couldn’t pull his eyes from you.
“Happy 2017, doll.”
Daybreak
The mission had been long and grueling. The week-long stakeout turned into two and quickly turned into a month away. You can’t remember the last time you’d had a good night of sleep that wasn’t interrupted with Bucky’s hand on your shoulder, telling you it was your turn to keep watch.
It wasn’t a horrible mission, more of an exercise in patience and restraint than anything. Bucky’s stories kept you entertained enough, and he was a good partner. Which is why you were paired together more often than not.
Still, it was nice to finally collapse into your familiar bed, not even bothering to kick of shoes or take a much-needed shower. Your sleeping schedule was all out of whack and you tossed and turned, despite the exhaustion seeping through your bones.
After fifteen minutes, you finally huffed a sigh of defeat and stumbled back to your feet. You showered, which was a few good days overdue, and dressed in your largest, most comfortable pajamas.
You weren’t surprised to see Bucky up as well, sitting at the dining table with a mug of fresh coffee.
“Couldn’t sleep?” His foot kicked out the seat beside him as an invitation.
“Sleeps overrated, anyways.” You shrugged, slumping into the seat and pressing your face into the cool glass of the table.
“Sleep is good for you.” He insisted, reaching forward to brush aside the hair that had curtained over your face. “You deserve a good night’s rest.”
“So do you, Buck.”
He stayed silent for a while, just sipping at his coffee and stealing glances at you, face trained out the floor to ceiling windows. He really didn’t know what he deserved, anymore. Sure, he had made some semblance of peace with what the Winter Soldier had done with his body. He was better, that was certain.
Worthy of you and all your unwavering sweetness? He wasn’t so sure.
You idly chatted about nothing for hours, filling comfortable silence with talks of the mission and the food poisoning he had given you when he tried to make dinner two weeks in. You sat side by side until day broke the next morning, eyes squinting at the sun peeking over skyscrapers and finally finding the need to fall shut in rest.
“I guess I should say ‘good morning’ instead of ‘good night’.” You were the first to stand, shuffling towards the hallway that led to your bedroom.
“Good morning.” He answered as you padded away, deciding he would be just fine losing sleep every night if it meant he could watch the sunrise by your side.
Furnace
“Doesn’t Tony make enough money to keep this place at least habitable?” You grumbled as you fell into the couch beside Bucky.
“I’m fine.”
Bucky sat in his patent jeans and t-shirt, unphased by the temperature that practically had your teeth chattering. You were bundled in multiple layers, including one of the many sweatshirts he’d wear jogging on cold mornings and blankets you had stolen off his bed. Your glare from under your cocoon of warmth rivaled even his.
“I’m not a muscle-y super soldier-”
“You think I’m muscle-y?”
“-that runs so hot you’re basically a personal furnace.”
“Oh, so now I’m hot.”
“I would strangle you to death right now, but I’m about to lose my fingers to hypothermia.” You burrowed further into your smattering of blankets with a violent chill running down your spine. Bucky simply rolled his eyes and marked the spot in the book he had been reading before you stormed in.
“C’mere.”
He balled up a fistful of one of your blankets, tugging you even closer to him. You opened your arms to allow for direct contact, sighing contently as your face pressed into his shoulder and legs tangled with his. You sighed contently as you welcomed his warmth, shimmying as close as you could get.
“Better?”
“The best.”
Nine
“Do you ever think what your life would be like? If you’d gotten to go home?”
Even a year ago, this question would have turned Bucky into a brooding mess. He would have delved into every little moment he had missed, every plan that had been turned upside down when he fell from that train all those years ago. But he was better now, more contemplative. He wouldn’t drown in the idea of what could have been because he knows what it’s like to be on the other side.
“I like to think I would’ve gone to college.”
“Really?”
“You calling me dumb, doll?”
“No! You’re the smartest person I know. I’m just picturing you at college. Carrying textbooks and wooing all the dames.” You fell into him at the thought, a fake swoon overtaking your face.
“I’d be too busy studying for dames.”
“Studying what?”
“I always liked math. Maybe engineering or something. Wanted to be a teacher before the draft.” He shrugged like the information was no big deal, but to you it was everything.
“Professor Barnes. Kind of sexy.”
“Oh, shut up.” But his words held no malice. Instead, he was grinning that cheeky grin that pulled his cheeks into perfect rosy apples and his eyes crinkled in joy. “I wanted to have ten kids.”
“Ten?!”
“So we’d be a dozen. My own little army of mini-Buckys to take over the world. Couple sets of twins, maybe. Definitely as many girls as I could manage.”
Of course Bucky would be a girl-dad. Playing dress-up for fake tea parties and scaring off boys when they’d come ‘round for first dates. You could imagine how he’d learn how to take care of their hair and plait intricate braids when they asked. He would make breakfast for the whole bunch, kiss his wife goodbye before escorting them to the bus stop and taking off for a day of teaching classes. Bucky would be an amazing father.
An amazing husband, too.
“I think ten may be pushing it, Barnes.”
Bucky pictured it, too. A little more modern than maybe the image you conjured up. Teaching was replaced with small missions. The gaggle of kids were smaller, and he wouldn’t have to kiss his wife goodbye. You’d be in the car next to him, headed to the tower for your morning briefings together.
“I’ll settle for nine.”
Benign
If you were to ask any New Yorker what they think the Avengers do on Friday afternoons, they would probably say something like ‘kicking ass!’. None would get even close to what your actual routine looked like.
None would imagine The Winter Soldier lounging in a bathrobe, hair knotted into a bun at the top of his head as his fellow world-saving Avenger spread some green goop over his face. Chinese takeout boxes littered the living room coffee table, his feet were bubbling in warm foot spa.
“To keep your youthful complexion!” You had promised him. He didn’t comment on the obvious sound of your phone’s camera clicking.
He knew he must have looked completely ridiculous. But as you sunk into the couch next to him with identical spa treatments covering you, he couldn’t find it in himself to really care.
He never thought in a million years that he would have the chance of boring, completely benign afternoons. He thought he would be sidelined to violent missions for the rest of his life, to being thawed out like a microwave meal every time he was deemed useful. Sure, he felt a bit ridiculous when you reached over to adjust the slices of cucumber placed over his eyelids, but he also felt so relaxed.
As you settled even closer to him, head tilting to rest on his shoulder, he would happily take the teasing remarks from Sam when you showed him the pictures.
Homecoming
Peter wasn’t crazy about the idea of getting ready for his senior year homecoming dance at the tower. But Aunt May was upstate on vacation with Happy and he still didn’t know how to tie a tie.
“Oh, you look so handsome, Peter!” You gushed as your fingers worked on his tie. Bucky stood to the side, holding MJ’s corsage in a delicate plastic container. Peter had been careful to find the perfect color, with a little guidance from you. The white dahlias matched perfectly with Peter’s light green tie.
“Thanks, Ms. (Y/L/N).”
Peter, ever the polite kid.
“Be safe, kid. Have her home at a reasonable time and no wandering hands.” Bucky handed over the corsage with a supportive slap to Peter’s shoulder. He was quick to promise that he would follow all the rules before making a dash to the door, just as you were about to ask for pictures.
“Don’t wait up!” He called as the elevator dinged behind him.
“They grow up so fast.” You sniffled. “I didn’t even go to my homecoming dances.”
“Why not?”
“Nobody ever asked me.” You shrugged, collecting the other ties Peter had picked from and hanging them carefully over your arm. Tony didn’t have to know that Peter was taking one of his priceless Versace neckties to a homecoming dance.
“To be fair, I would’ve been scared shitless to ask you to a dance.” Bucky followed close behind. “And I fought a war.”
“That’s sweet, Buck.” You brushed him off as you retreated into Tony’s closet.
“No, really.” His hand caught your elbow. “I would’ve been the luckiest guy in town if I had you on my arm.”
You fell asleep that night imagining you and Bucky twirling around a dance hall without a care in the world.
One
Steve’s hand was firm against your shoulder, his tactical glove soaked and dripping with your blood. Your eyes were unfocused, head lulling every so often when the fight to keep it steady just seemed too difficult. Sam was at your other side, cracking jokes to try to keep your attention on him and not of the literal bullet lodged in your shoulder.
You were escorted from the jet in a flurry, doctor’s hands replacing Steve’s. You barely winced when you were administered painkillers and the ache begun to subside. Before you could blink, you were lifted onto a gurney in the medical bay and the clink of the bullet that had been dug from your flesh rang through the room as it clattered into a metal dish.
Bucky ran in just as the doctor finished maneuvering a long roll of gaze around your shoulder, scheduling a time for you to return to have it cleaned and reapplied again.
“What happened?” He brushed past the doctor without a second glance, eyes trained on your figure pressed against the sterile hospital bed. “Steve said-”
“It’s nothing. Steve likes to be dramatic.”
“-that you were shot!”
“Oh, well. Yeah, that happened.” You moved to sit up, your arm immediately giving out under the weight. Bucky moved even closer to help you, hand careful on your back like you were made of glass. “But just the one time.”
“As far as I’m concerned, one is too many.” He watched the gauze turn darker against your skin; your eyes screwed shut in pain as your knuckles turned white against the sheets. “And you’re never going on a mission without me again.”
Freight Car
“You’re free.”
He remembers those worlds so clearly, it’s like him and Ayo are still sat next to that crackling fire in Wakanda. He thought that had been it. He would never again worry about those ten phrases that erased Bucky Barnes and allowed a machine to emerge from his memory.
As he stole glances of you from the corner of his eye, shadowed by his unruly hair, he knew those words still very much existed in his mind.
They weren’t a means to an end, anymore. He didn’t have to grit his teeth and clench his fists to fight them off. They were new, now. He saw each of those words in you and realized just how important they are now they they’ve found a new meaning.
His love for you came easy.
One second, he was looking at his friend. She was looking back at him and he felt safe.
Your fingers brushed over his shoulder, where flesh turned to metal, and you looked away as though you hadn’t just made him fall in love with you with a single touch.
It took three years for Bucky to make a move. Another party, another escape plan to the balcony where you were waiting for him, like always. The last time you had found yourselves in that position, he had been too unsure. Too wary of what it would mean and if it was too soon.
Now, he didn’t care. He just wanted you and to be selfish and not think about consequences when he leaned forward and finally pressed his lips to yours.
You pulled back, but not far.
Something clicked.
Your love for him hit you like a freight car. Swooping in from nowhere but really, you should have felt the rattling of the tracks beneath your feet. You should have seen all the signs that you loved him and he loved you back. In stolen glances and easy afternoons, in hard missions and bloodshed. He was there, and he looked at you like that. Like everything his body had done was to finally make it to you in this moment.
He waited, patient. He had waited this long, what was another few seconds as the realization washed over your features?
“Oh.” Was your clever whisper.
“Yeah.” Bucky’s hands cradled your face, “Took you long enough.”
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Text
Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito Maniac [Epilogue]
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ー The scene starts in the entrance hall in Eden
Yui: ( So this is Eden, the place where Karlheinz-san lives... )
Laito: Nfu~ He doesn’t seem to be around. ...Well, I expected as much.
Seems like we have no other choice but to wait. Good grief.
Yui: Shouldn’t you look for him?
Laito: I can’t. No, to be more precise, it would be a waste of time and energy...I guess?
Yui: ...? What do you mean?
Laito: Hmー ...How should I put this? ...It’s a bit difficult to explain. ..Well, I suppose you’ll find out eventually.
I wasn’t expecting to meet him right away after showing myself here out of the blue either.
That man knows everything. I’m sure he’s aware as to why I’m here as well.
Yui: Eh...!? 
Laito: I guess you could compare him to God. Not only does he foresee everything, he never shows himself.
Because he knows that time is not ripe yet.
Yui: W-What do you mean...?
Laito: He can predict the future. However, while he can foresee what can happen, he can’t change it.
Picture yourself in front of a river, for example...There’s a large obstacle somewhere far up ahead...
He can see the entire river, so he’s already aware of the obstacle.
However, he can’t stop the flow of the water, nor would he attempt to stop it himself.
ーー I guess putting it like that makes it a little easier to understand...? Nfu~
Yui: Yeah, I feel like I can vaguely understand what you’re trying to say.
( He knows that Laito-kun has come and why he is here. )
( However, he hasn’t shown himself because it isn’t the right time for them to meet yet, right? )
( ...I wonder what kind of person he is to be capable of such a thing? )
Laito: That’s the current situation, so let’s take it easy here for a while, okay?
He should show himself when it is time.
Yui: Yeah...
( ...Somehow that’s a little anticlimactic after stressing myself out the whole way here. )
( Besides, it feels weird to relax here. )
( Laito-kun’s here to kill the owner of this castle after all... )
( To a measly human such as myself...The way things are handled over here in the Demon World are on a completely different level, far beyond my comprehension. )
Laito: Say, Bitch-chan? Let me show you something nice.
Yui: Something nice...?
Laito: You’ll find out once you follow me. Nfu~
*Rustle rustle*
Laito: Come on, this way.
Yui: Yeah.
ー The scene shifts to the flower fields
Yui: Wah...How beautiful...!
Laito: Right?
Yui: ...What are these flowers called?
Laito: Hmー Their name, huh? I’ve never even thought of that.
Yui: I see...
( I’ve never seen these kinds of flowers before... )
( The petals become multi-colored when hit by the light, so they’re very pretty... )
Are these flowers exclusive to this garden, perhaps?
Laito: Exactly. They don’t bloom anywhere but in these flower fields at Eden.
Yui: I see...
Laito: ーー These flowers, you see. They’re immortal.
Yui: Eh?
Laito: Nfu~ Just like us. As long as no supernatural powers are involved, they won’t ever wither.
Yui: They never...wither? Such flowers exist...?
Laito: I mean, there’s creatures like us which are immortal...
So it isn’t all that strange there’s similar plants as well.
Yui: I see. Good point...
Laito: If only...the same could be said about humans.
Yui: ...Laito-kun...
Laito: I wouldn’t have to be plagued by any weird thoughts if you could be like these flowers, right?
Yui: Um...This might be a strange question to ask, but can I not become a Vampire then?
Laito: ーー It didn’t work.
Yui: Eh?
Laito: I started considering making you one of us a long time ago.
For some reason, I couldn’t. Under normal circumstances...A human would slowly transform into a Vampire by having their blood sucked repeatedly.
We call this ‘the awakening’...
But for some reason, you never awakened. I don’t know whether your heart’s the blame for that, or if it’s something entirely different...
Yui: I see...
( My heart was taken from Cordelia and put inside me... )
( In that case, it honestly wouldn’t be all that strange for me to become a Vampire, so I wonder if there’s some other reason behind it...? )
Laito: Are you upset, Bitch-chan?
Yui: Eh...? Why would I be?
Laito: Because I tried to make you one of us, without ever asking your opinion on the matter.
Yui: No. I’m happy knowing that you thought that far ahead for me.
Besides, if anything, I’dーー
Laito: Nfu~ You would have preferred to become one of us?
Yui: I just thought that would allow me to stay with you longer.
Is that strange...?
Laito: It is. Or rather, don’t you think you’re taking the concept of immortality a little too lightly?
Yui: Am I...?
Laito: I guess in the end, both humans and Vampires want whatever they don’t have.
Being able to naturally pass away is such a blessing after all...
Yui: I guess it is to you guys...I’m sorry, I...
Laito: No need to apologize. I’m the one who tried to take that privilege away from you after all.
If anything, I should say sorry, no? ...Fufufu.
Well then, guess we should get back inside soon?
Yui: Yeah...
ー A flashback ensues
Cordelia: ...!! Why...Why!? Why won’t he come!?
He...Karl said that he would come today...He broke his promise with me!! Unforgivable!!
Who does he think I am...!? I am the daughter of the Demon Overlord, Burai...!
All other men are head over heels for me and yearn after me...So why does Karl...!?
Laito: ( ...She’s having one of her lunatic episodes again. Honestly, she should stop bothering since it’ll only exhaust her. )
( I don’t think there’s any reason to get so upset? )
( For one, this happens all the time. He never changes. )
Cordelia: God!! I won’t forgive him...!!
*Thud*
Laito: Oh come on, don’t be so mad. Calm down...
Cordelia: How am I supposed to stay calm right now!? Aah, god...It grinds my gears...
Laito: Nfu~ But you have me, don’t you? Just forget about that man already.
Cordelia: ーー Hah?
Laito: ‘...Hah?’, you say? How cruel...
Cordelia: I have you, so what?
Laito: What do you mean? ...I mean, I could replace him and...
Cordelia: Time to get off your high horse. Listen carefully? You aren’t Karlheinz.
Don’t get the wrong idea. You’re no replacement for him.
Laito: ...
Cordelia: ーー Haah...Honestly, Karl...You’ve kept me waiting for so long...I can’t believe it...
Just look at how much I love you!
Laito: ...
( Then, what exactly am I? )
( If I’m not his replacement, then!? What...purpose do I serve!? )
Monologue
ーー That one sentence she spoke,
was a fatal blow to me.
Pierced deeply through the heart,
I came to realize how foolish I had truly been.
I even felt the desire,
to kill myself on the very spot.
I had the wrong idea this whole time.
I thought that she sought after me,
both to spite him,
as well as a way to replace him.
However, reality was different.
I was nothing,
but a way for her to vent off her frustrations.
In other words...
I was her personal trash can,
to throw in all the ‘love’ she didn’t know where to go with.
Looking back at it now, I was shallow-minded.
To think that while twisted,
there was something there,
which could be considered love.
I truly believed so,
and I wanted to believe.
ー The flashback ends with Laito waking up in the guest room
Laito: ...!!!
Haah, haah...A dream?
( Oh, it was just a dream...Even so, it felt incredibly real...A true nightmare... )
( All of this probably happened...because I’m currently at this place, at Eden... )
( This is his territory...He could easily (1) manipulate my dreams... )
Fuck...!!
*Rustle*
Yui: Nn...
Laito: Whoops...!
( Right, she’s lying next to me... )
...
Yui: ...
Laito: ( Thank god. She’s sound asleep, huh...? )
Yui: Uu...
*Rustle rustle*
Laito: ( ...Such a thin neck. I could probably snap it with just one hand... )
( A fragile...and delicate neck. )
*Rustle*
Laito: ( If I use both hands like this, it’d be over in a second... )
*Rustle rustle*
Laito: Kuh...
Yui: Uu...
Laito: ...!!
Yui: ...Uu...
Laito: Bitch-chan...?
Yui: ...
Laito: ...!!
( What was...I doing just now...!? Did I try to...kill her...!? )
( ...Even though I told her...Told her that I’m here to kill him to be able to look at life more brightly... )
( No...I’m not killing him for that reason... )
( I want to be killed by him. Because then I can die. )
( I won’t have to see her perish either. ...I want to avoid that. )
...
( I’m scared of myself...At this rate, I’ll end up killing the person I love the most. )
( Just like...I killed her. )
Fuck...This is messed up, isn’t it!?
Why am I like this...!? Kuh...
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー 
Translation notes
(1) わけない or ‘wake nai’ is a tricky one, because the two possible meanings it has are polar opposites. Either it means ‘easily/easy’ or ‘there’s no way’. Although in the latter case, ‘wake ga nai’ is more commonly used. 
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<- [ Maniac 10 ] [ Ecstasy Prologue ] ->
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rosiehunterwolf · 3 years
Text
wait
(storm section inspired by @ambrosial-tea)
Prompts: Home and Memories
Word Count: 5,901 (hey i think i'm actually starting to get these back to a more reasonable number XD)
Characters: Lloyd and Garmadon
Timeline: Between episodes 13 (Day of the Great Devourer) and 18 (Child’s Play) with some flashback scenes
Trigger Warnings: Abandonment
Summary: Lloyd’s not so great at being patient. It’s not his fault though- maybe he would be better at it if waiting didn’t always end up being so disappointing- if people actually kept their promises. But this time’s going to be different, he knows it. His father will come back for him. And Lloyd’s going to wait.
As long as it takes.
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Since I already got two bingos on the sparks board, I decided to switch it up and change to the warm board!
Read on FFN.net
Read on Ao3
Tumblr work under the cut
In the aftermath of the battle, Lloyd only had one thought on his mind.
Cheers and whoops from the citizens of Ninjago City- and the ninja themselves- rang through the air as the realization that the Great Devourer was dead hit them. Lloyd hardly noticed, though. Gripping the handrail at the edge of the building, he peered out over the city. He was around here somewhere. He had to be.
“We did it!” Kai cried, grabbing Lloyd’s hand and raising it high in the air. “We saved the city! The Great Devourer is dead!” We? Lloyd glared at him, although the fire ninja didn’t even seem to notice. My dad was the one who seemed to do all the saving.
“Ultra!” Cole cried as the dragon landed on the street near the foot of the building. Racing towards the fire escape, the ninja hurried down the stairs and over to the dragon. Cole threw his arms around Rocky’s snout, the others not far behind. “You’re safe, bud!”
As the ninja and Nya laughed and caressed the dragon, Lloyd hung back, feeling lost. This wasn’t right. They couldn’t go on celebrating when someone was still missing.
“Where’s my dad?” he burst out, his voice sounding a lot shakier than what he had hoped for. “I don’t see him anywhere.”
The others exchanged glances. Lloyd hated the way they looked at each other, trying to decide what to tell him, because he obviously wasn’t good enough to know what they were really thinking.
Nya walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder and bending over slightly to put herself more at his level. Her eyes sparkled with regret. “Lloyd-”
“Sensei Wu?”
Jaws dropped at Cole’s exclamation, and they jerked their gazes towards where he was pointing. Sure enough, Uncle Wu was sitting in the middle of the street, in a pile of green Devourer goo, looking lost as he pushed himself to his feet. Lloyd closed his eyes, letting his breath out slowly. So at least one of his mistakes had been fixed.
“He’s alive?” Jay gaped. “He’s alive!”
Kai grabbed Lloyd by the wrist, half-dragging him over towards their sensei as the ninja tackled him into a hug. Lloyd reached out to put a hand on his uncle’s back, but paused. He had no place here. Don’t get me wrong, I love the ninja, but… I was never supposed to be part of this. I’m only here because my uncle is their sensei, because I’m their beloved green ninja.
Wu pulled back from his students, grinning- only for his smile to falter as his dark eyes met Lloyd’s red ones. He tilted his head in that odd, knowing way of his. Lloyd wanted to break the contact, but couldn’t.
“Your father is gone, isn’t he.” Not a question, but a statement.
Lloyd let his gaze drop to the ground, remaining silent. His uncle reached a hand out for his shoulder but stopped short when Lloyd flinched away.
“Yeah, and with him, our golden weapons,” Kai growled. Nya elbowed him, hard, and he yelped, rubbing his side and scowling at her.
“Weapons or not, we will see him again,” Wu told him, “of that I am certain.”
“Yeah, only because your dumb prophecy says so.”
Wu flinched. “Lloyd-”
“Do I really have to fight my father someday, Uncle Wu?”
He sighed. “One day, nephew, that time will come. But I can hope that it is not for many, many years to come, when you are much older and stronger and wiser. Until then, we must not linger on the future. You ninja have done well today. You should be proud of yourselves, celebrate your victory for a little while.”
“Don’t worry, bigshot.” Kai ruffled his hair. “You’re the chosen one. And we’re the best teachers there are! You’ll be more than ready by the time the final battle rolls around.”
Lloyd clenched his teeth. Why couldn’t any of them see? He didn’t want to fight his father. He couldn’t. His father had come back for him when the Serpentine had trapped him, even when everyone else had lost hope. His father had been the one to comfort him about their futures, the one to protect him, the one to fix his mistakes with the Serpentine. So what if he had taken the golden weapons? If it weren’t for him, they’d all be inside the stomach of a giant snake right now. Were the ninja really so quick to forget that?
They didn’t know him like Lloyd did. Even his uncle had never seen the side of him Lloyd had seen. His father was a good man who had made bad choices. Couldn’t the same be said for Lloyd? If he had changed, why couldn’t his father?
Don’t worry, dad, he vowed silently. I won’t fight you. I’ll find a way to fix this. To make this right.
You see if I don’t.
---
Lightning illuminated the small room, dazzling Garmadon’s tired face as he carried the blanket over to the couch. Sitting down, he gazed out the window, the pattering sound of rain against the glass both comforting and incredibly lonely at the same time.
He sighed, turning towards the hallway. “I know you’re there, Lloyd.”
A small boy slipped into view, a stuffed dragon hugged tightly against his chest and his wispy, whitish-blond hair a mess as he blinked shyly up at him. “I’m scared of the storm, Daddy.”
Garmadon shook his head, scooting over on the couch and patting the space beside him. Lloyd needed no further encouragement, running up to him and hauling himself up to sit beside him. Lloyd burrowed himself against Garmadon’s side, and he made sure to pull the edge of his blanket a little tighter around his son.
Thunder rumbled loudly, and Lloyd whimpered, gripping tighter onto Garmadon. He waited a moment for the boy to relax before speaking.
“So. Mind telling me what it is you find so scary about storms?” Lloyd fidgeted. “They’re so loud! And the lightning- I don’t want it to get me, Daddy.”
Garmadon chuckled. “So you’re scared of a little noise and lights, eh? Somehow, I didn’t quite expect that from you.”
Lloyd yelped as another rumble echoed through the air, this one seeming to shake the house with its ferocity. Lloyd’s dragon slipped out of his grip and he quickly snatched it back up.
“It’s just a process of nature, son. There’s no need to fear it. We are safe here.”
Lloyd glanced up at him with wide eyes, and Garmadon sighed.
“It’s like a dragon, Lloyd. The storm is a big, restless dragon who’s bored and wants to play. The thunder is his roar, and the lightning is his fire breath.”
Lloyd’s eyes glowed, and he shuffled anxiously against Garmadon’s side. “Well, maybe it’s not that scary anymore…”
Garmadon huffed a laugh. “Dragons. That’s all it ever takes with you, isn’t it?”
Lloyd murmured something inaudible, nestling his head in Garmadon’s lap. They sat there together in the silence of the room, and long after Garmadon had thought his son had fallen asleep, he suddenly spoke.
“Daddy?”
“Hm?”
“Why did you and Mommy fight?”
Garmadon breathed out slowly. “Lloyd, you know it’s not nice to listen to people when they don’t know you’re there.”
“Sorry.”
“Look, son. There are some things in this world that are more complicated than you will ever know.” Seeing the confused look on the boy’s face, he elaborated. “Sometimes, people say things they don’t mean. Sometimes, mommies and daddies need to take a little break from each other.”
“Is that why you’re sleeping on the couch?”
“I suppose so. But it’s only for one night, Lloyd. We’ll sort things out tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
Garmadon gazed out the window again, running a hand through his thick hair. He tried not to think about the dark roots he had spotted there earlier, staining his deep chestnut hair the color of darkest night.
That was something no one needed to know about yet. The red eyes had already been hard enough on Misako, especially when their son had inherited them. He tried not to think about what that meant, either. The venom wasn’t hereditary, was it? Lloyd showed no signs of the snappishness he had felt as a youth. On the contrary, the child was pure of heart and bright of soul, one of the sweetest people he had ever met. Garmadon couldn’t understand how he had gotten so lucky.
“Did I do something to make you and Mommy fight?”
“What?” Garmadon started suddenly. “Heavens, child, no.” Taking Lloyd’s chin in his hand, he titled it towards him so that they were looking each other in the eye. “Honey, none of this is your fault. This is Daddy’s mistake, not yours. We both love you very much, you know that, right?”
Lloyd nodded, sniffling as he wrapped his arms tighter around him. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
Garmadon rested a hand on his head. “Whatever you need, my son. I will always be here for you.”
---
“Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, what were you thinking?” Kai ripped the sword off of his back, sending it to the ground with a clatter. “We told you to stay on the bus, and what did you do? Go after a bunch of pirates?”
“Yeah, kid.” Cole crossed his arms over his chest. “You could’ve been seriously hurt.”
Lloyd glared at them. “I was only trying to help! You never let me do anything!” “Because you’re not ready!” Kai put his hands in his hair, yanking on it in frustration. “Augh, can’t you see? We’re only trying to protect you! What good is all this training if you don’t even make it to the final battle?”
“Lloyd,” Zane said more gently. “You need to take things one step at a time. One day, you will be ready to fight beside us. One day, but not today.”
Lloyd looked away, pushing down the bubbling anger inside of him. This didn’t matter. None of this mattered. If the ninja wanted to treat him like a baby, fine. It didn’t matter what they thought.
All he cared about was his father. He needed to impress him. Make him proud.
“Lloyd? Do you understand?”
“Yes, Zane,” he muttered, avoiding the nindroid’s gaze and instead choosing to kick at a rock. The ninja exchanged hesitant glances, but they didn’t press him further.
Nya sighed. “It’s been a long day. What do you say we get back to the Bounty, and-”
“Sorry! You snooze, you lose!”
The group whipped around towards the Bounty, where the thrusters were powering up as several Serpentine peered at them over the guardrails- as well as a familiar dark figure.
“Dad,” Lloyd breathed, lunging forward- only to be stopped by Nya’s strong arms. He squirmed against her, but she wouldn’t relent.
“Lord Garmadon!” Kai cried. “He stole our ship! I can’t believe he stole our ship!”
“Come on,” Jay groaned. “We just got it back! Can’t it go five minutes without being taken?”
“The Bounty belongs to us,” Cole warned. “We fought for it, fair and square. Give it back, Garmadon.”
The Dark Lord gave a dry laugh. “Like I’d give anything to you.”
Lord Garmadon’s head turned- freezing as he made eye contact with Lloyd. The same eerie red of his own eyes reflected back at him. He longed to say something, anything- but his mouth was dry and words refused to come. He hoped his father could tell what he was thinking, anyway.
Please don’t leave. Stay here. We can work something out. We’ll fix everything between us.
Please don’t leave me again.
For a moment, something that looked like doubt flashed in his father’s eyes, and Lloyd felt hope soar in his chest. My dad might actually- he could-
“You’re getting stronger, son,” Garmadon said, “but never strong enough to defeat me. Give up and turn back now, before it is too late.”
No. Lloyd felt himself fumble as the Bounty rose into the air and flew away, taking his father further and further from him. No, he couldn’t be leaving him again, this had been his one chance to get his father back, to earn his love, but Lloyd had blown it.
I’m sorry, dad. I wasn’t good enough. I let you down.
It won’t happen again. Next time, I’ll try harder.
Next time, I’ll make you proud.
---
Their apartment was quiet that night. As Kai and Nya washed dishes in the kitchen- it was their night for clean-up duty- the others crowded around the TV in their tiny living room, playing video games with the volume low. Their usual yelling was diminished to nothing more than hushed whispers.
Behind them, Lloyd was curled up on the couch, already out like a light even though it was only seven pm. The boy was undoubtedly exhausted from the fight with the pirates earlier in the day, Kai thought crossly.
It took him a moment to realize Nya was staring at Lloyd, too. “Kai,” she asked slowly, working her jaw. “Is Lloyd okay?”
“Why,” he asked quickly. “Is he hurt? Did something happen? Man, I told him not to-”
“No. I mean… do you think he’s been acting a little… odd, lately?”
Kai frowned, turning to look at the boy. His brow furrowed as he slept, the corners of his mouth twitching downward slightly. “I guess. He’s probably just tired from all the training. We’ve been working him pretty hard, as of late.”
“Yeah,” Nya nodded, although she didn’t look like the answer truly satisfied her.
If Kai was being honest, it didn’t feel right to him, either.
---
Misako stormed into the room, dropping Lloyd into his lap with a huff. “That’s it, he’s your problem now.”
Garmadon looked up at her questioningly. “What happened?”
“What do you think happened? He bit me again! So, get him to stop.”
“What makes you think I would be able to make him stop?”
“I don’t know, but the fangs come from your side of the family, so it’s your responsibility now.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know, you’re a smart man, you’ll figure it out! I’m going to go make some tea. Good luck.”
Garmadon stared after her but was pulled out of his thoughts as something sharp chomped down on his hand. He glanced down at Lloyd. “Oh, mister. What are we going to do with you?”
---
When Garmadon returned home the next day, there was a plump green dragon plush stuffed beneath his arm. He handed it to Lloyd, who was sitting on the floor, playing with his wooden blocks as he sucked on his pacifier. “Here. Next time you feel the impulse to bite someone, bite this instead.”
Lloyd eyed the plush with interest, reaching out for it with grabby hands and clutching it around its middle, pulling it close. Spitting out his pacifier, he began to babble to the dragon, blocks forgotten. Garmadon picked up the pacifier, eyeing it closely and sighing as he caught sight of the puncture holes.
When he glanced at Lloyd, the boy was chomping down on the wing of the dragon. Garmadon rolled his eyes, crouching down next to him. “Hey, what is it with you and biting things you like? C’mon, bud.” He gently pried the wing out of his mouth. “You’re going to hurt him- uh, it- hey, don’t you think your little dragon friend needs a name?”
Lloyd stared thoughtfully at the stuffed animal. “Buhbuh.”
“No, no, no, he needs a noble, dragon-ly name! Like Blaze, or Windracer, or-”
“Buhbuh,” Lloyd said firmly.
“..Buffy?”
“Buhbuh.”
Garmadon sighed. “The fierce and mighty Buhbuh? That’s what you want?”
Lloyd cheered, hugging the plush tight. “Buhbuh!”
The name wasn’t the only thing that stuck. Over the following weeks, Lloyd fell in love with that dragon. Everywhere the toddler went, Buhbuh wasn’t far behind. In his playroom, in the crib, in the car, at meals, even in the bathroom. Misako had spent twenty minutes one night trying to wrestle the toy away from him before he took his bath.
It had solved the biting issue, at least, although Misako often muttered that he had just traded one problem out for another. He dismissed her worries, telling her that Lloyd would grow out of his dragon phase eventually.
Although, that certainly wasn’t happening anytime soon. As Lloyd got older, he only got more and more intrigued by the creatures. Suddenly, everything had to have dragons- his pajamas, the shows on TV, his pull-ups, and his many, many toys. While his biting habits faded, as soon as he learned to walk, he was tottering around the house, roaring and flapping his arms like wings. Even as his collection of dragon toys and figurines grew, however, Buhbuh was always his favorite.
Garmadon should’ve known better than to think the carefree times would last forever, though. Ever since Lloyd had been born, he had been so much happier- and he was certain that the presence of his son was slowing the spread of the venom. But it wasn’t gone. It was a curse that the damned snake had forced him to bear forever.
He wanted to put it off as long as possible, though. He was happier here than he had ever been in his life, and he didn’t want to lose all this.
He knew if anyone could help him, it was his brother. Wu understood how much he loved his wife and child. He knew how badly he wanted this. He would do whatever he could to help. His teas and meditations had always been helpful in the past, and he hoped this time wouldn’t be any different.
“Do you have everything, dear?” Misako asked, helping him slip on his coat.
He lifted the duffel bag in his hand. “All in here. I’m ready.”
A sharp tug on his pant leg distracted him. He glanced down to see Lloyd, sniffing miserably. “Daddy, why do you have to go?”
Garmadon crouched down next to him. “It’s only for a few days, pumpkin. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Why?”
Garmadon sighed. “Daddy’s been feeling…” he glanced at Misako, at a loss, but she only shrugged. “… A bit under the weather lately. I’m going to pay a visit to your Uncle Wu so he can help me with my… impulse control.”
Lloyd blinked at him, and Garmadon smirked, realizing that every word he had just said had gone straight over his son’s head. He ruffled his hair, standing again. “Don’t worry about it too much. You’ll be fine. Your mother will take good care of you.”
As he turned towards the door, he stopped at the sound of sniffling. Turning back to Lloyd, he wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. “Hey. It’ll be alright, okay? Daddy will be back soon. You can even call me tonight.” Glancing around, he spotted Buhbuh sitting on the end table and grabbed him, pressing him into Lloyd’s arms. “Buhbuh will take care of you when I’m gone, okay?”
Lloyd hugged Buhbuh tighter. “Okay.”
“Don’t worry, Lloyd. Buhbuh is the best protector there is. And remember, I’m the one who bought him for you. Whenever you see him, you’ll know that I’ll always come back.”
---
“Lloyd, steady!” Jay cried. “We’re wobbling too much!”
Kai yelped, gripping onto Cole’s leg, where he was struggling to balance on Zane’s shoulder. On the nindriod’s other side was Jay, and on top of Cole, Sensei Wu balanced, unfazed. Below them all, Lloyd stood, trembling under all their weight.
“Uh, guys, are you sure this is a good idea-”
“Ahhh! Watch out, we’re going to fall!”
The ninja screamed as they fell to the ground, landing in a tangled pile of limbs. Lloyd quickly wriggled his way out from underneath them, and the others extracted themselves more slowly, groaning.
“You gotta find your balance, Lloyd,” Cole said, rubbing his shoulder where Kai had landed on it. “You have the strength to lift us, but you’re not focusing enough.”
“Well, maybe I’m trying!” Lloyd snapped. “I don’t see you down here lifting all that weight!”
Kai frowned. “Lloyd, Cole is only trying to help.”
“Well, maybe I don’t need help. You’re putting too much pressure on me! I could do way better on my own!”
Sensei Wu put a hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “Perhaps it is time for a break. Let’s get you a drink of water and rest for a bit, then we can try again.”
Lloyd begrudgingly shuffled after his uncle, grumbling under his breath. Kai watched him go with a furrowed brow.
“What’s got the kid acting so irritable lately?”
Jay shook his head. “I don’t know. But he’s starting to get on my nerves. It feels like he’s just being stubborn for the sake of it.”
Zane frowned. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe we are putting too much pressure on him. Supporting the weight of all of us is probably asking too much for a nine-year-old boy, green ninja or not.”
Cole shook his head. “This is the same kid who put a crack through Dareth’s floor. If he can do that, he can lift us. I know he can do it. But he just seems… distant.”
“We’ll keep an eye on it.” Kai waved his hand, turning back towards the training space. “But we don’t have time for his moodiness now. Lord Garmadon is out there somewhere, and he’s not going to wait around for us to sort out our issues.”
---
“Uh, come on boy, we gotta catch up with the ninja, I’m not gonna fall behind again- woah!”
Ultra let out a mighty roar, careening forward with a mighty flap of his wings and sending the reins shooting out of Lloyd’s hands. He only just managed to snag them before they hurtled over Ultra’s heads.
“Easy boy, easy! Look,” he sighed, letting a hand rest gently on the dragon’s off-white scales. “We’re never gonna win this race and save the dojo if you and me don’t learn to work together. Besides, I’m the green ninja. I’m meant to ride you, anyway. Imagine how impressed the others will be if we come back and I’m riding you like a pro! We can rub it in their faces what a natural I am with dragons, heh. What do you say?”
Flame’s head snorted, letting out a puff of smoke, which wasn’t the most reassuring answer.
“Hey, wait a minute.” Lloyd squinted, staring at the vehicles racing through the canyon below them. There was the familiar shape of the Ultra Sonic Raider, but above it-
The ship appeared to have undergone some design changes, but there was still no mistaking the vast, furling sails or the dragon figurehead. The Bounty was in the race.
His father was here.
Lloyd’s heart skipped a beat. His father was here- he could see the black figure now, helping some of the Serpentine to point a cannon at the Ultra Sonic Raider.
Ultra tensed beneath him, but Lloyd hesitated, holding the mighty dragon back.
His dad was trying to hurt his friends. Lloyd didn’t want to get in his father’s way, but…
He couldn’t let him do this.
Lloyd gritted his teeth, digging his hands into the reins. “Okay, Ultra. Let’s put a stop to this.”
Ultra roared, diving towards the Bounty so sharply that Lloyd had to grip onto the saddle for dear life to keep himself from flying off. “Get out of the way!” he yelled at his father. Garmadon lurched back from the cannon, eyes widening, but it was too late. Ultra was already slamming into the ship, sending both himself and the Bounty spiraling.
Snapping up the reins, Lloyd pulled back, steering Ultra up, narrowly avoiding crashing into the ground.
“Woooo! Nice going, Lloyd!”
Kai’s cry sent a flare of warmth through his chest, but it quickly dissipated as his gaze fell on his father, who was barking at the Serpentine as they hurried to get the ship going straight again. He had made the right choice- the only choice- but at his father’s expense.
A wave of panic suddenly hit him. He couldn’t mess this up. He had been given another chance to make his father proud of him, and he couldn’t let this one slip between his fingers.
“C’mon, Ultra, let’s show ‘em what we got!” With a jerk of the reins, the dragon was shooting through the air like a bullet. Lloyd steered him up, and Ultra did a graceful loop through the air, followed by a swift corkscrew.
Lloyd blinked, surprised at how easily his dragon was listening to him. Usually, Ultra was as stubborn as possible, but apparently he enjoyed putting on a show as much as Lloyd did.
“Quit fooling around, Lloyd!” Cole cried from the Raider. “We gotta win this race, and we need your help!”
Lloyd glanced back at the Bounty, but his father wasn’t even looking at him, just waving the Mega Weapon around as he yelled at the Serpentine. Lloyd sighed, guiding Ultra towards the guys. This obviously wasn’t working.
As the Raider sped over the rocky ground below them, it slowly shifted into a softer, lusher landscape- and then came the snow. Lloyd stuck his tongue out, letting a flake land on his tongue.
“Birchwood Forest!” Kai cried. “Oh, we’ll never get through all these trees to catch up!”
There was a roaring of an engine behind him, and Lloyd glanced back to see his father coming in the Bounty, not too far off. I still have a chance! I can still impress him!
“Let me find a shortcut,” he called to the ninja. “Ultra! Up, boy!”
Scanning the woods below, he quickly eyed out a path, then swooped down with Ultra, racing through the trees. “Follow me!”
The turns were sharp, and Lloyd barely avoided crashing into the trees on more than a couple of occasions. But he didn’t, Ultra’s movements swift and precise below him. Lloyd let out a whoop of exhilaration. He was finally getting the hang of this! Ultra was listening to him! Taming a dragon was no easy feat, his father would have to be proud of him now-
Suddenly, Ultra let out a pained cry, and before Lloyd could process anything, the dragon was being yanked backward and plummeting towards the ground. Lloyd screamed, clutching onto the saddle, and Ultra threw his wings around him, sheltering him as they hit the ground with an almighty crash.
---
Lloyd groaned, blinking stars from his eyes as something bumped against his cheek. When it finally came into focus, he saw Wisp’s head staring at him, grunting in concern.
“I- I’m fine, boy,” Lloyd huffed, grabbing at the dragon’s muzzle for support as he pushed himself to his feet. “What in Ninjago just happened? We were doing so well, now we’re going to lose the race!”
Ultra groaned, raising his left foot and shaking it, where chains clanked loudly.
“No, no, no-” Lloyd raced over, examining the cuff and finding long, curved bones secured tightly around Ultra’s ankle. “The Skulkin! They sabotaged us! Those scheming, no good boneheads!” Lloyd yanked desperately at the chains, trying to get them to budge. “Augh, now we’re never going to win the race, and my father will never-” Lloyd cried out as his hand scraped against the sharp edge of the bone. Immediately, Flame’s head was at his side, nosing him away from the cuff and whining softly as he gently licked Lloyd’s scratched hand.
“I… I just wanted to make him proud,” Lloyd sniffed, burying his face against Flame’s scales. The fire dragon felt comfortingly warm in the cold of the snowdrift.
Rocky’s head butted him softly, before carefully taking the edge of the cuff between his teeth and crunching down on it, shattering it into a dozen pieces. Lloyd sucked in his breath, giving Rocky’s muzzle a quick hug before clambering back onto Ultra’s back.
“If we hurry, we can still catch them now! C’mon, boy, we have a lot of ground to make up for!”
---
Lloyd didn’t win the race, but by the time the finish line came into view, he could see the ninja crowding around the golden winner’s cup, cheering. In front of them, Garmadon was yelling at the referee, insisting that he had won and that the ref had made a faulty call.
Lloyd’s breath caught in his throat. His father was right here. Closer than he had been since the defeat of the Great Devourer. Part of Lloyd wanted to run up and hug him, but he knew he couldn’t. That wouldn’t last. He needed something more permanent.
His eyes strayed to the Bounty, resting a little way behind the Dark Lord. With his father out yelling at the ninja and the race staff and all the Serpentine left behind in the Glacier Barrens, the ship was empty.
If Lloyd took it back- his father wouldn’t be able to fly away again. He’d have to stay. They could talk, work things out. As soon as he could get his father to stop running and just listen, he knew he could get through to him.
Lloyd eyed his father warily, but Garmadon was too distracted to notice the giant dragon behind him, as were the ninja. Quietly, Lloyd instructed Ultra forward, and the dragon padded across the ground, climbing up onto the deck of the Bounty.
“That’s not even street legal!” Garmadon was yelling. “My ship was clearly-”
“Your ship?”
His father whipped around, and Lloyd froze as they stared at each other for a long moment.
Please. Please, please, please. Lloyd reached a hand out. “Dad-”
Police sirens sounded behind them, and suddenly two officers hopped out of the car. “Alright, Garmadon, you’re coming with us.”
“Wait!” Lloyd cried, slipping off of Ultra and landing on the ground mere feet from his father. “Dad, it doesn’t have to be like this. You can-”
A screeching of tires, and suddenly Skales was pulling up in his bus. “Look who needs who now!”
Garmadon scowled, turning to go. Lloyd’s brain screamed at him. This was his one chance to stop him. If he did nothing, who knew how long it would be until he got to see him again?
Lloyd lunged forward, grabbing Garmadon’s wrist. The man looked back in surprise. “What are you-”
“Dad. Please. Don’t go.”
Garmadon fell silent, staring at him for a moment. Time seemed to stand still.
Then Garmadon was yanking away, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, son. We both know I can’t do that.” In two steps, he was aboard the Serpentine bus and speeding away.
No. Lloyd felt tears well in his eyes. There were others here, and Lloyd hadn’t cried in front of anyone in a long time, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. His father had been right here. He had touched him.
“Way to go, bud!” Kai whooped, running over to him, the other ninja close behind. “You got the Bounty back- hey, woah, what’s wrong?”
Lloyd quickly tried to cover his eyes, but Kai was already crouched down next to him, pulling his arms away and gently wiping at his tears with the sleeve of his gi.
Jay put a hand on his back. “You’re not hurt, are you?”
Lloyd shook his head, sniffling. “I just… I thought… my father, I thought he would… I thought if I could make him proud, he would stop leaving…” Lloyd choked on a sob, burying his face in Kai’s gi. “Why does he keep leaving? Why does everyone leave? What did I do wrong?”
“Oh, bud,” Kai whispered, running hands through Lloyd’s hair gently. “This is what’s been upsetting you, hasn’t it?”
Lloyd whimpered miserably, and Kai hugged him tighter- his grip so firm, so protective, that it made Lloyd think maybe everything could be okay again, eventually.
“You look at me,” Kai demanded, tilting his chin up. “None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it. All the people that left you were jerks who didn’t appreciate how amazing you were. They don’t deserve you. We don’t deserve you. But you’re our true family, Lloyd. We will never, ever do what they did.”
“You hear that?” Cole punched him lightly in the chest, his voice sounding suspiciously choked up. “You’re one of us, now, green bean. You can’t escape us, whether you like it or not.”
“Your father will never understand this, Lloyd.” Jay gestured at the group with his hands. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. You deserve a father who will be there for you, one whose love is not clouded by dreams of vengeance. But that’s how things are. So you’re stuck with us, instead.”
“I’m sorry he couldn’t be here, Lloyd,” Zane murmured. “But we are. And we love you. So if there’s ever something bothering you, talk to us about it. We want to do everything we can to make you feel wanted.”
Nya crouched down next to Kai. “You and me against the world, bud. Remember that? We’re not giving up on you. Ever. So your father can stuff it-”
Zane elbowed her, and she grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. Now’s not the best time for that. But you get my point. I’ll fight stupid destiny for you, Lloyd Garmadon. We all will.”
Lloyd’s eyes welled up again, but this time the tears were happy as he collapsed against them. Five pairs of arms hugged him back, warm and strong and safe.
His father had left again. But that wasn’t what was important right now. His true home was here, with the ninja.
And he had hope it always would be.
---
Garmadon gazed down at the bundle in his arms. His posture was stiff and unnatural, his rough hands as gentle as possible as they supported the weight.
This was easily the most precious thing he had ever carried.
Lloyd stared up at him with wide, curious eyes. Every curve and inch of him was perfect- and he was his. Garmadon could see himself in the curve of his son’s nose or the outline of his jaw, Misako in the shape of his eyes or the hue of his skin.
He still couldn’t believe it.
It had taken Misako hours to convince him he wasn’t going to hurt Lloyd, and now, here he was, carrying his son for the first time.
His son. He loved the way that sounded.
Garmadon shifted his grip slightly, and suddenly Lloyd began to fuss. Garmadon glanced to Misako for help, but she simply shook her head, smiling.
At a loss, Garmadon cradled Lloyd closer to his chest. “Shh, shh, Lloyd, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you.”
Lloyd stopped almost immediately at the sound of his voice, cooing in wonder as he reached a chubby little hand out. Garmadon bowed his head, closing his eyes and letting Lloyd trace his fingers gently across his face.
Garmadon felt the tension ease from his shoulders. This was a person. A living, breathing being, and he and Misako had created him.
Nothing in the world could’ve ever prepared him for the wonderful gift of fatherhood. This was one thing in his life he vowed not to mess up.
“You’re safe, little one,” he murmured. “I will always be here for you.”
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