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harusaki-hugo · 8 months

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I fight with alien once.

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers+slightly hetalia

Characters: Sano Manjiro , Ryuguji Ken, Sano Shinichiro, Mitsuya Takashi + GN!Reader

Synopsis: Tokrev boys with s/o who keep saying weird thing but this time involving fighting alien. Honestly it's a crackfic.

Your boyfriend know your habit of randomly start telling the story of your life, it's a cute habit honestly and he adore you about this because now he know more about you. But sometimes it's can be confusing when your stories start getting weird and make no sense but he love you too much that he keep listening to your stories, that's it untill one day you suddenly blurted out; "I fight with aliens once."

Sano Manjiro;-

He looks at you with a raised eyebrows, half eating taiyaki between his lips as he turn around to fully look at you.

"Really?"-"Really!! It's a noppera type of aliens."

The type who listens to your story before falling asleep, no matter where you are if you start talking expect him fall asleep halfway through it.

But don't worry he , surprisingly, remember all the story you told him perfectly, no hole in plot at all.

When he in the mode he will ask a detailed question about it.

"So you tell me that you stuck between wall and a hundreds of aliens and the only thing you did are giving them food and entertainment?"-"Yup!"-"Huh, neat."

Actually impressed with the story and wondering when will the aliens attack earth again resulting you smacking him in the head.

Overall; he might be walking red flags but that ain't stopping him being a 10 and great listener to your weird story.

Ken Ryuguji;

Literally sighing heavily and give you the most deadpan expression second to someone you know but still-

"I can accept when you told me about cat talking to you but this too far , honey."-"but drakeeenn!!"-"no, nope , not today."-"I haven't reach the climax where I jump down to the sea."

Okay, he might got interested a bit... scratch that ,man this close pulling his hair on your story.

"I'm sorry, you what?!"-"jumping down from moving space ship and got stranded in deserted island."

Your story keep stressing this man and he don't know what true or fake because you sound so convincing , he started to worry about your childhood.

Start treating you like you have delicate mental health and try helping you get better like man literally show you a good therapist in your area.

Conclusion; Boy is 100/10 but will try to drag you to therapist if you joked about something involving mental health.

Sano shinichiro;

Didn't even bother to look at you as he continue fixing the bike , only humming and nodding at your words.

Man used to weird thing that he immune to your weird story.

"and then, grandpa Rome appears and start singing."-"grandpa Rome sound hot."

He have Mikey as his brother and Izana as adopted brother, he can handle you

-he handle it like a champ-

He didn't even bat an eye when you told him you broke someone nose and that man is the United States of America himself.

-he just thought you punch a foreigner.

Conclusion; I love this man so much that I won't stop crying, please give him the live he deserves.

Mitsuya Takashi;

This man is a saint, like boy have patience over nine thousand I can't-

"wow, that's mean thanks to you we live in peace."-"stop it! you make me blush!"

He know exactly what to say to make you happy.

"then Italy start drawing on their face."-"magnificent, did you help him?"-"heck yeah!!"

this man to precious that I physically crying inside out upside down.

He just to perfect I can't write-

He a great listener and know exactly what to said.

Didn't care how weird your story was, he loves hearing your voice.

Overall;this man is walking green flag but I will slam my feet on the break so I can stop for him.

♾️/10.

I haven't sleep for a day and I'm high on caffeine, please send help.

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #x reader #ken ryuguji #sano manjiro #sano shinichiro #mitsuya takashi #sano manjiro x reader #sano shinichiro x reader #draken #ryuguji ken x reader #mitsuya x reader

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 3 months

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Co-parenting Found Family

[Miu (has a baby), Rantaro, Tsumugi & Kokichi friend group, Saiouma]

Me: you ever read a crackfic one-shot and realize you'd want to read a serious longfic with the same premise? cause now I am thinking of this stupid.. pregnant Miu shows up to saiou's apartament, asking Kokichi for help but instead of going with the crap about her not realizing she's pregnant for this long, I would like it to be angst inspired by her lhs

Clown: Yessss!!! I read that one!!! Absolutely loved it, mostly because I'm a sucker for them navigating something like this so ridiculously

Me: I liked it too, the joke about her not being able to tell rubbed me the wrong way, but it was actually nice after that, I would read more of it if they write a continuation

Me: basically, Miu ghosts everyone for a few months, not that unusual, she can disappear in her projects, she pops back up to brag about the prize she got for it when she's done, but not this time, this time she shows up to saiou's apartment, severely pregnant and devastated turns out she jumped headfirst into a relationship with some guy, tried to go through with her baby-trapping idea from LHS, because, hello abandonment issues, and for a bit it looks like she's exactly where she wants to be, but then, only weeks before she's due the guy ditches, leaves some note about realizing he's too young to be a father, and he's gone also, I'd add https://archiveofourown.org/series/976308 friend group to the mix, so while Ouma is the first person she comes to, the whole gang unites to help her

Clown: The friend group coming together instead of another potential partner is clenches fist so good. Miu is someone who is pretty fixated on relationships, it's almost as though in her mind she won't really be completely until someone loves her that way. So to give her a chance to move past that in this situation is just so interesting AND ITS JUST SO GOOD! In my mind for her to come to ouma of all people. Because he provided some familiarity to her, some safe space where she can in her own way step back into her usual. And Ouma would low-key go "shit. I'd jump shit too" and shuichi sends him a look but doesn't dare say anything because he kinda agrees. And it's a complete wreck but it's good

Me: yeah, if it's platonic relationships being as important as romantic ones, if not put first (actually, love Kokichi kicking Shu out so he can focus on comforting Miu), I am an insane person unapologetically I just think. found family coming together to raise a child. like if you agree I've done it before with DICE adopting a kid and I'll do it again

Me: Kokichi would agree with being the father, he's going to use it to gaslit their other ex-classmates (I imagine this is a few years post-HPA) into thinking he's the one who ended up with a kid their friend group + Shuichi know the truth of the arrangement, but that's it she might have been in a state of shock when she suggested it to him, but he's embraced it he Will be "the ultimate dad", (she regrets coming to him instead of Rantaro or Tsumugi when she sees all the custom print tees he got) he's telling Kaito about His pregnancy and childbirth experience the next time he comes over, he's preparing stories when it's aliens that got him pregnant, but no it was actually one of those dinosaur foam pills he swallowed, unless… Kaito, who just wanted to eat lunch with Shuichi: Shuichi, who is a simp: [relieved emoji] he won't help you, Kaito

Aalliyah: He swallowed a watermelon seed

Clown: He's taking this so seriously jagdjdhs He laid an egg [pensive emoji] I love shuichi just going along with it. Everyone expects some sort of something from him and he's just "We planted him in our garden from a toe nail and-"

Ves: this is gonna be the most spoilt baby

Me: on some bigger (as in just about the whole class is there) reunion, (probably a regular event organized by Kaede, like a movie or boardgame night) they look to Rantaro, who's always been the most reasonable of their group, and he's just mentally in the hehe hoho I'm an uncle and doesn't have more to add, he's zeroed-in on the baby, will get back to you later, maybe. [replying to Ves] oh, absolutely Tsumugi is part of the problem, always making something but. there is always somebody who wants to carry the baby never left out of sight

Clown: How do the squad [sunglasses emoji] , eventually find out??

Me: I think after Miu cries herself to sleep Kokichi texts their group chat using their emergency code (sacred, extempt from lies) to get Rantaro & Mugi to come over the next morning so they can tackle it together because in reality, he's a little overwhelmed too, and in the moment doesn't know yet if Shuichi will adjust to this with him so they all eat breakfast together, reassure Miu that they'll be there for her no matter what, start making a plan, a shopping list, beginning of a schedule, then Kokichi has to take the first scary step of the plan - talk to Shuichi about it; but Shuichi is like: yeah, of course because how could he expect his boyfriend not to help out? this is literally why he loves him, of course he will go a little overboard when it's for his found family he knew he had to prepare himself for Something when he saw Miu crying on his couch, at least it doesn't involve committing crimes against whoever hurt her, for now.

Clown: It's a big step!! (And very sudden) Even if it'll be a shared responsibility It's an entire new person! One that ouma is already in his mind accepted he'll be there for. He wouldn't immeadiately expect Shuichi to agree to something like that on a whim, but to know Shuichi is willing to look for solutions, to stay and work through it with him without question because of course. Sobs. Yeah. They've GROWN!!! Planning would be hellish though. Oumas filling the table with hundreds of scribbled papers and everything. Yes absolutely we need to sign this bitch up for maternity classes. Fuck it, Rantaro you go too, check in with us later. Tsumugi!! Need 3 months of baby clothes STAT! SHUICHI!! you just sit there and look pretty…SIKE ERRAND BOY GET THIS FOR ME

Me: let's be real, he's the first to sign up for those parenting classes and buying books about it but yeah, he does make Miu go too, for sure

Clown: Yeah he would!! He wants to be prepared

Me: also not to take from egg's family au directly but https://eggs-can-draw.tumblr.com/post/711383943783579648/omg-i-just-thought-so-byakuya-would-be-like Togami's motherhenning = Kokichi here and, while this is all sweet, I think Miu also needs to get mental health help, get that girl some therapy, she needs to work out the flaw with her logic, because, while it was already proven wrong when the guy left her, she needs to be given alternatives and you know, I think she would struggle with her feelings about the kid, it was supposed to be her ticket to being loved, and the kid is certainly getting a lot of love, but… maybe she would want more attention for herself? how is she meant to score a relationship now? she's going to need help understanding that those people are her family and that she's already loved

Ves: yeah!!! i think kokichi would b pretty blunt abt it too he tells her to shape tf up

Clown: YEEEAHHH. Honestly having a lot of people helping her out, some who give out reassurance easier than others, is a good start. But she is in that place where she's looking for something else to latch on. Usually that's the kid. I feel like had she gone through this alone she'd be one of those mothers constantly flipping through "You ruined my life" and "your the only thing in my life that loves me unconditionally" towards her kid. Ouma definitely helps in the way that he doesn't sugarcoat a thing.

Ves: local cluster b morons try to make a child well-adjusted baby'll be ok tho i think

Clown: Yeah baby will be ok! Everyone gets therapy [gun emoji] by law

Ves: praying that includes whatever poor man miu fucked up RIP king the kid is gonna be FUNNY when it grows up tho

Clown: [2 sob emojis] they'll be the ultimate comedian

Ves: saihara please pretend to be normal they need a balancing influence

Apollo: That kid is gonna commit crimes and use the skills Shuichi teaches them to get away with it

Clown: Somehow they pick up only on saiharas ingrained need to find the answer to questions The question is what would happen if a fork goes into an outlet

Apollo: They manage to somehow get the baby proof thing off the outlet and Kokichi fucking dives to stop them

Clown: Miu is just "let it happen. This is how I learned!"

Apollo: Kokichi just looks at her, blood dripping from the cut in his forehead and mumbles about how 'That explains a lot' Kokichi acts like kids will be kids and thus they get injured so there's no need to panic but the kid trips and he freaks the fuck out Like the kid doesn't even fall over. They stumble slightly and Kokichi is instantly there

Clown: He's the doting one. He's sobbing going, "my god. Your going to hate me one day. I'll be cool!! You can do a drug!"

Apollo: Poor Shuichi wakes up to Kokichi sitting up in the middle of the night because he's stressing over if he's cool or not and Shuichi has to remind him that the kid isn't even a year old yet and thus, has no idea what cool even means

Beez: smh shuichi just lie to him and say he is

Clown: Shuichi for real he needs to know, is he the lamest guy at the daycare?

Apollo: He's too tired to lie right now. Kokichi bursts into tears because is this his way of saying he isn't cool?

Clown: The pure betrayal!! From the one he trusted most!!!

Apollo: It's 2 in the morning [sob emoji] Kokichi has to have his devices taken away because he's staying up searching up how to be the cool guardian Ves: miu and him fight over who's the cool one when the kid is older (it;s neither of them)

Me: I can see Miu and Kokichi arguing about which one of them is cooler, but it's definitely Miu who lets the kid get away with things (like not brushing teeth) to be cool, and would likely mean the letting them do drugs thing, Kokichi would scold her for that and then his version of cool is teaching them lockpicking and making the scary faces, which in turn, she tells him off for

Apollo: Kid says it's Rantaro and both of them decide that he must go /silly Rantaro is riding the high while running away from Miu and Kokichi

springbug: it [rising the baby] surprisingly goes well too sure the kid might pick up on swearing at the age of 5 BUT THAT'S OKAY

Apollo: I mean, kid's gotta learn at some point Okay but father's day at daycare and just Shuichi, Rantaro, Kiibo and Kokichi all show up [idek why Apollo added Kiibo to the mix, he wasn't mentioned before, I didn't skip anything like that]

springbug: "i'm the father" "no i am" "what are you guys talking about? i look just like them" "sorry ma'am, im actually the father"

Me: nah, daycare, kindergarten etc. people think Miu and Kokichi are divorced or something if they come together they probably have some of their barely censored banter; sometimes Kokichi comes in with Shuichi, or it's Shuichi who drops the kid off on his own while he's on the way to work, kid refers to him by his name and calls him "dad's boyfriend"; sometimes uncle Rantaro or aunt Tsumugi come to pick them up; both Miu and Kokichi love to act like they're a single mom, works three jobs when other kids' parents try to ask them about life, and sometimes complain about each other

springbug: imagine gonta taking them to the park and showing him all the cool bugs [smiling face with tear emoji]

Me: once the kid is a bit older they let Rantaro and Gonta organize a camping trip for them and their friends, Kokichi is crying when letting them go because he's a motherhen and his baby is growing up and not scared to sleep away from home and him because the bugs will kill them

Clown: Miu and Kokichi giving their all to be divorcecore so true Everyone has ideas of the outrageous affair that ended their marriage that never happened

Beez: u just know the tea is PIPING among the staff

Clown: They're picking sides for sure

Me: imagine someone on the staff is homophobic so one of those days when it's Shuichi's turn, he gets told that his gay agenda is the reason the kid has to live in a broken family he's so confused the asshole is dealt with, but the anecdote lives forever also, I think Kokichi is the parent that always takes the chance to help out at school when they ask for a volunteer to join the trip or some event at school idk, if it's an universal thing, but here it's common practice that when little kiddos go on trips around town one or two of the class moms are asked to join after the first time the teacher is like "does anyone other than mr. Ouma wants to join? [sweat smile emoji]" but he persists he's just a little to prepared for anything to happen and kids feed into that energy and it becomes entirely beyond the teacher's control

Clown: OUMA BECOMES A PTA MOM AKSHJDHD The children are the next in line to be a part of his criminal organization so he needs to see them regularly, duh

#ndrv3 #danganronpa #miu iruma #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #oumasai #saiouma #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #tsumugi shirogane #gonta gokuhara #made by me #writing prompt #writing inspiration #kaito momota #kaede akamatsu

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ashxketchum · 19 days

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A Fine Day for Curry [Mayblade 2024 entry for Card, Apron, Doughnut and Secret]

Summary: Before anything else, Kai would like you to know that he's not a picky eater, he is just very particular. Rei might wholeheartedly disagree, but he's not getting off the hook so easily. [Crackfic, No plot only vibes]

Characters: Kai, Rei (Other BBA Team Members mentioned)

Word Count: 2649

Note: The idea came to me when I found out that National Curry Day in Japan is also celebrated as KaixRei day by the Japanese fandom since the first letters of their name spell curry (Ka-Re) in Japanese. I thought it was really cute and funny and wanted to post something silly featuring the two and of course, Curry. I'm usually very happy with my 'no plot only vibes' kind of writing style, but this is the first time I'm posting something like this for Beyblade without Tyson and Hilary leading the story so I'm very nervous. I don't think I did a good job with this fic and I'm sorry in advance if you read and it feels like a complete waste lol. Feel free to send in constructive criticism, I won't mind at all!

[post divider by @/cafekitsune]

Resting his hands on top of his knees under the table, Kai resisted the urge to push the plate placed in front of him away. He was not a picky eater, or so he liked to believe, but he was set in his preferences, never taking the chance of trying something he didn’t like. He had worked hard on developing and maintaining his taste palette and didn’t really enjoy it when it was disturbed out of the blue. But still, he was an adult so most of the time if he was served something he didn’t enjoy eating, he would gulp it all down with a passive face, compromising on his beliefs to keep up appearances.

Today, however, was different because he was under the impression that when Rei invited him over for lunch, the two would get Thai takeout as they usually did, instead he was taken by surprise when his friend served up a plate of freshly made curry and rice.

Japanese-style curry was one dish that Kai found hard to make compromises on. If it wasn’t cooked with the specific recipe that his mother followed, he would rather not go anywhere near it. When he raised his eyes from the plate and watched as Rei happily folded his apron to keep it aside before taking a seat opposite him, Kai found it hard to voice out his thoughts about the dish. Rei fixed him with an eager smile and rested his folded arms on top of the table with a nod towards the food, signalling him to go ahead and take a bite.

He swallowed a gulp, raising one hand from under the table to pick up the spoon before he changed his mind and looked at Rei with a raised eyebrow, “I assumed we would be getting takeout.”

“It’s nice to switch things up once in a while, don’t you think so?” Rei shrugged, if he was bothered by how Kai had still not taken a bite of his food, he didn’t let it show on his face.

No, was what he wanted to respond with, you should know that by now.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” Kai sent a pointed look towards the lack of a plate with food in front of Rei. It was when the latter chuckled lightly at his observation that he realised, today he would not be able to get away by just inhaling the food without tasting it and pretending he liked it.

“In a bit, I need to know what you think of the dish first,” Rei said.

“Why?”

Rei considered his question for a moment, possibly debating whether it was worth telling the truth right now or to save the explanation for later. After a while he sighed, raising one hand to rest his chin comfortably in it, he addressed Kai with an excited look in his eyes, “I’m thinking of adding a new menu on my food truck.”

“Is that feasible? For the business model, I mean,” Kai asked, letting his gaze drop back towards the curry. If it were up to him, he would rather eat a month’s worth of Rei’s baozi in one sitting over trying out the Japanese curry offered to him.

“People love buying steamed buns on their way to office or school in the morning, or while heading back home in the evening. But business slows down during the day quite a bit so I thought having a popular lunch item might help.” Rei explained, surprisingly still not annoyed that Kai was spending so much time delaying taste testing a dish clearly very important to him currently.

“That makes sense,” Kai muttered, eyeing the food in front of him with a somewhat renewed interest, “But wouldn’t Tyson be a better choice for something like this?”

Rei laughed loudly, waving his free hand dismissively, “Tyson only enjoys finding fault in Hilary’s cooking. He never judges my food harshly.”

“Max?”

“On the off chance that Max wouldn’t like the dish, he would just empty a bottle of mayo on top of it and I’d rather not watch him butcher my cooking like that.”

Kai felt defeated, he didn’t know whether telling Rei that his opinion would not be as unbiased as he assumed was the right thing to do. His chest did swell with pride, however, at the thought of being the more reliable friend within their circle.

Then he decided that since eating the curry would end up helping Rei, there was no point in trying to push the task any further. He picked up the spoon once again, and while attempting to fight off the disgust from showing on his face, he scooped up a small portion of the curry and rice. As he lifted the spoonful close to his mouth, Kai closed his eyes with the hope that not being able to see the curry would make it easier to swallow.

He had intentionally put more rice on the spoon, diluting the taste of the curry slightly but when it finally hit his senses, he was taken by surprise for a second time that day. He frowned as he chewed on the carrot piece that had landed in his bite, admitting to himself that it didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would. The sweetness of the curry wasn’t overpowering, as was the case in most Japanese roux mixes, but was a much subtle presence at first easily subdued by the rice, allowing the spicy aftertaste to flourish in all its glory making Kai conclude that the taste was actually quiet-

“Decent.”

Uncharacteristically, he ended up voicing his last thought out loud, biting his tongue in regret he sneaked a careful glance at Rei. Assuming that no chef ever wanted to hear their new dish described so blandly, Kai was expecting him to look offended or annoyed even but instead, he had the biggest smile plastered on his face, his amber eyes shining bright with accomplished pride as if he’d just won first prize at a cooking competition.

“That is a huge compliment,” Rei said, his voice now loud with excitement but still retaining the gentle, teasing tone as he added, “Considering how much you hate curry.”

“Wait, you knew I hate curry?” Kai quickly dropped the spoon back onto the plate, pushing the dish towards Rei as he scowled at him, “Why did you make me taste it then?”

“Because-” Rei paused to shake his head, the way he pursed his lips made it obvious that he was trying to hold back a laugh before he spoke, “As I implied earlier, you are the only one I can trust when it comes to objective feedback.” He leaned forward to bring the dish closer to him, picking up the spoon Kai had dropped to serve himself a bite, gathering more curry on it than rice, unlike Kai. He let out a gasp of satisfied approval after tasting it and passed a grin in Kai’s direction, “Decent enough for you to want seconds?”

“Sorry, that privilege is reserved for my Mom’s curry alone,” Kai muttered grumpily, a little relieved to see Rei nodding in understanding. While he wasn’t happy about being manipulated into sharing his opinion on something he didn’t like, he still thought it best to let Rei know that he shouldn’t put his review on a pedestal, “You should get a second opinion. About the taste.”

“I plan to. The others should be here in a while.”

Kai rolled his eyes at the obvious set-up he had walked into, Rei laughing at his reaction only soured his mood further, “I suppose I am more surprised by the fact that you do know what I don’t like.”

“Of course I do, how long have we known each other? Don’t hurt my feelings with accusations like that,” Rei clicked his tongue as he shook his head disapprovingly, “Do you know how much trouble yours and Max’s picky eating habits have given us over the years?”

“I am not a picky eater.” Kai defended himself quickly, “I’m just particular about my likes and dislikes.”

“That is the definition of being a picky eater, Kai.” Rei chuckled, going back to take a few more bites of the curry, he did not bother to explain his own statement of accusation against Kai any further.

“What did you mean, when you said Max and I have caused problems over the years?” Not that Kai was one to give up easily, he fixed Rei with his best intimidating stare and folded his arms across his chest in a gesture to show he wouldn’t budge till he got his answer.

“You know when we used to travel extensively for tournaments and stuff,” Rei said, expecting it to be a sufficient hint but sighed when he noticed that Kai was still looking at him with confusion, “The amount of effort Hilary put into finding hotels and restaurants that would match all our tastes so we wouldn’t have reason to complain.”

Kai leaned back in his chair, relaxing his arms slightly. If he was being honest, this thought had never crossed his mind. After all, whichever hotel they stayed in or wherever they stopped by for meals after matches, the menu always had some option that he enjoyed eating, there was no reason for him to go beyond and think how that always worked out. But now when he revisited those memories, little things seemed to pop up. Like how if he ever lost a match, he never joined the others for a meal afterwards, opting to go for a long walk to clear his head instead. When he’d get back a package of his comfort food would always be waiting in his hotel room, which he had always taken for granted, but now understood was something that wouldn’t be possible without Hilary.

“We had a secret group chat too, Chief, Hilary and I.” Rei continued, his eyes softened as memories of their beyblading days probably came rushing back, but it was quickly replaced with a mischievous glint, “We still do actually, do you think it’s a coincidence that all our get-togethers and reunions always have a perfect menu to boast?”

“So the three of you have just been gossiping about our eating habits behind our backs?” Kai scoffed, the moment of guilt he’d felt about not appreciating Hilary’s efforts as a manager was immediately doused by Rei’s extended explanation.

“Can you blame us?” Rei responded in amusement, but seeing Kai refusing to take this lightly only made him laugh more.

Kai found it hard to fight back with denial because the truth was just that obvious.

If he ever had to spend time with his former teammates over a meal, he preferred to have Rei or Hilary tag along, since he’d always assumed their tastes were quite similar. Now he knew it was just because they understood his habits so well, and were being considerate towards him by accepting his invitations. That didn't leave him much to argue with so he kept quiet even as Rei looked at him expectantly, deciding to instead focus on how to get back at Rei for first, making him eat curry manipulatively and second, implying that Kai was a fussy eater.

Because he really wasn’t, he was just particular. There was a difference, even if Rei refused to acknowledge it.

After seething and brainstorming in silence for a while, just when he thought he was at a loss for ideas, the sound of the doorbell ringing loudly across the apartment reminded Kai that there was still one very good card left to play. Rei quickly got up from his seat and began to rummage through the kitchen, pulling out more plates, and turning the stove on to reheat the food.

“Kai, can you get that please?” He called out as he moved around.

Kai reluctantly got up from his seat and walked to the door, though not before he caught Rei pulling out a plate of egg sandwiches, one of Kai’s favourites, from his fridge and setting them on the table along with the pot of curry. He couldn’t tell if knowing that Rei had already prepared a backup dish for him as per his tastes made him feel happy because at least his friend knew him well, or even more annoyed because it only served to strengthen the trap he’d fallen in today. When he pressed the button on the intercom and saw Tyson, Hilary and Max wave through the tiny screen, he settled on feeling annoyed for the sake of it.

“Rei! We got doughnuts!”

Tyson’s voice cracked through the speaker as he lifted the bag in his hands up towards the camera. Kai didn’t respond obviously, only pressed the button to open the door that would let them in.

“Rei? Are you there?”

Tyson asked again, making Kai roll his eyes at his actions. He could just come up and talk to Rei in person, why did he feel the need to speak through the doorbell was beyond him, Kai thought as he shook his head.

“It’s probably Kai who answered, Tyson. Let’s go.”

He saw Hilary dragging Tyson away, and the plan became quite clear in his head at that moment.

“Would it kill him to greet back once in a while-”

Tyson’s muffled complaint was completely cut off as the display went black, indicating that all three of his friends had successfully entered the building. It would take them a while to come up as Rei lived on the tenth floor, so Kai decided to saunter back to the kitchen, a smirk playing on his lips as he leaned against the door frame with the confidence of a beyblader about to land the winning strike.

“This secret group chat of yours,” Kai spoke, pausing to check if he had Rei’s attention and when his friend passed him a confused look, he continued, “Does Tyson know about it?”

Rei stopped setting up the table and looked up at Kai, eyes wide with fear and horror, “Kai, don’t.”

“Because I just think that, it’s the kind of thing he should know about.”

“Kai, please! If he throws a fit, Hilary will strangle me without a second thought, you know she’s capable of it.”

Rei's scared yet pleading voice did make him feel better about all the manipulation, and just for a second, he thought he would forgive his friend and play nice. After all, Rei did prove that he knew him better than most people, and valued his opinion more than the others, so there really was no need for Kai to exact his revenge.

A knock on the door announced the arrival of their friends and the tension on Rei's face deepened as Kai promptly turned on his heels to open the door.

"Kai, I will owe you big time if you keep this secret for me!" Rei called out in a squeaky voice from the kitchen, making Kai laugh out loud for a change.

“It’s been so long since we saw a real Tyson and Hilary fight, you know" Kai turned his head just once to smirk in triumph, "They just don’t do them like that anymore.”

As he turned the doorknob, he heard Rei shuffling behind him in the kitchen at twice the speed from before, possibly hiding any sharp objects out of Hilary's reach. He suppressed another laugh before swinging the door open. In the end, Kai decided to let Rei off the hook just this once. But there was no reason for Rei to know that, instead he would enjoy keeping him guessing about when Kai would drop the bomb for the rest of the day. When he finally came face to face with Tyson, Kai made sure that Rei could hear him as he announced loudly, “Tyson, guess what-”

- x -

#mayblade 2024 #beyblade #bakuten shoot beyblade #kai hiwatari #rei kon #mayblade #beyblade fanfiction #writealot #very depressed that the story didnt transfer into words well from my idea actually #and that this is the first fic entry i'm making even tho i'm not happy with it lol #but i will get over it!

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viaviv124 · 2 months

Text

Fanfiction Commissions OPEN!!

[UPDATE REGARDING SETTING COMMISSIONS]

Hi! So I've decided i'll try selling fanfictions because why not, worth a try!

Fandoms I'll do:

Undertale

Cult of the Lamb

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Danganronpa

Heaven Officials Blessing

Captain Laserhawk

Hamilton

Super Mario

Black Butler

Dear Evan Hansen

Be More Chill

Heathers

Stardew Valley

Anything else i'm familiar with, just ask!

Content I'll do:

Shipping

Angst

Fluff

Crackfic

Hurt/Comfort

Hurt/No Comfort

Lime

Anything that isn't in my don'ts list, really.

Content I won't do:

Proships (Pedophilia, Incest)

Romanticised Abuse

Real People (OCs are fine, i mean primarily stuff like celebraties, youtubers etc)

Anything that makes me uncomfortable (will be discussed when necessary)

Content that's case by case/has requirements:

Dead Dove Do Not Eat: depends if the content makes me uncomfortable or not, but generally I'm up for anything.

Smut/NSFW: i won't post it and please do not post it either. Keep it for private use. I also won't do Non-Con, Necrophilia and other kinks and fetishes that make me uncomfortable.

Gore: bear in mind i'm not really good at it. I'll decline if it gets too extreme for me. Please keep it out of sex.

Please remember that I always have the right to say no, regardless what the lists say.

When the commission is done I'll always ask you first before I post it. It's something I wrote for you so you also decide what's done with it. (again, except NSFW.)

Payment:

SFW: 5€ per 500 words

NSFW: 10€+ per 500 words

NSFW fics can be self determined if you want to pay the initial prize or more.

Payment will occur before I'll send you the finished fic.

Please pay via Ko-fi

I will send you drafts per paragraph once I wrote it to see if you'd like anything changed. You can change stuff up to 3 times per paragraph, afterwards there's a 1€ fee for each change. Please be specific with your prompt and with what you want. If I completely misunderstood your request please tell me and I'll rewrite without additional fees.

Fanfiction Examples: Ao3

I will be writing whenever I can but please bear in mind that I'm very busy throughout the week.

Feel free to ask questions whenever you have them! You can always reach me here and on my Instagram!

If you cannot afford a fanfic but want to Support me regardless, that's totally fine! Reblog and spread the word! I appreciate that just as much!

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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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Have you ever written crackfic and do you enjoy reading crackfic or is it rather not your thing? (Question also directed at your readers of course.)

I usually don't write or read crackfic because it's just not for me, but I saw a scene today that makes me want to write a dead-serious M or E-rated fic about a "pairing" that is utter bullshit but still in-context makes sense and sounds hilarious and fun, ha!

BTW that scene is from the A-Team's episode "Incident At Crystal Lake" (3x25), where Murdock is fishing while sitting next to a male/masculine mannequin and flirts with it. XD I know it was probably just the TV series making a joke about Murdock's potential insanity and also maybe playing on same-gender attraction as a (homophobic) joke, but... that won't stop me from headcanoning him as a fellow bi or pan and shouting "one of us" in my head, although his flirting is directed at a mannequin and not an actual breathing guy in this example. Also I know it's probably not flirting but just wishful thinking on my part (or rather over-interpreting like a language-subject-with-text-interpretation teacher on speed), but at the same time... I mean... he asks the mannequin if he wants an apple (which is sitting on top of the box that's in his lap), makes the mannequin gesture "no", then says the mannequin is probably "saving your appetite" and that "it's in there if you want it" and then puts his hand on the mannequin's shoulder in that stereotypical couple-on-date-in-cinema-and-one-tries-to-make-a-move way and strokes the mannequin's shoulder, heheh.

Well... how are we defining crackfic?

One common definition is that lolrandom "I wrote this on a sugar high" shit that sounds like a 12-year-old. I have always hated that stuff and didn't write like that even as a small child. It's pointless to me because I don't find the style of humor funny or the characters relevant enough to their canon versions to scratch any of my fanfic itches, not even one for satire.

This isn't just "Wah, they're OOC": This is a fic that is entirely irrelevant to everything about canon way beyond just interpreting personalities differently. I used to see them sometimes from classmates who were just writing in-jokes about their friends using a vague backdrop from some media.

You can write about somebody having a "relationship" with an inanimate object without it being that type of crack—hell, without it even being comedy. There's some whole indie movie about a dude dealing with his social anxiety via pretending to be dating a sex doll.

If you wrote about Murdock having a fetish for mannequins or him working out his complicated feelings about men via "joking" about a mannequin, I wouldn't consider that crack.

If you wrote about him genuinely being in love with a mannequin in a tongue-in-cheek way as though this were a standard pairing, I'd consider that crack, but a different kind from above.

That Care Bears yuletide fic where one of them needs to be fucked back to emotional health and they all come shamrocks or hearts or whatever is crack of this type. It's goofy... but it's using a lot of well-observed bits of actual canon. I can enjoy that sort of thing if it's done well.

Ultimately, my question about the various flavors of "crack" is what is the point?

If the point is that it's funny, I'll need to share the author's sense of humor. This is the Achilles heel of all attempts at humor in art.

If it's just strange subject matter but written in a fairly standard way to be hot or to have a good plot or something, it's not really different from any other fic. I might not find it hot personally, but I'm a lot more lenient about that than about humor.

But if you're asking if you should write it, sure: write what you want.

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quotidian-oblivion · 3 months

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Hey! Hi! Hiya! I read the Merlin one-shot you put out earlier, and now I'm really missing your writing, do you have a fic, or series, of yours you'd reccomened reading?

This is gonna be a long one and I happened to log into tumblr to check messages then saw your ask and drowned in a puddle and so because I wanted to update anyway, I decided to answer your ask because anything related to my writing brings me endless joy and happiness and tears.

Yes! I presume you're talking about Infiltrating Great Minds? Yes! As you can see, it's part of a Merlin+character crackfic series so if you want Merlin crack, you can have all of it in that series. I'm already halfway through a Gwaine&Merlin and finished completely outlining Leon&Merlin and Daegal&Merlin fics.

If you're looking for the angst/magic reveal sort of thing, I'd say How Do You Feel? and Shackled are good, though neither of them are magic reveals. I'm just realizing this is the first magic reveal I posted 😅

Although! I'm working on a super super super angsty magic reveal oneshot and another 4-chapter magic reveal which connects to a (currently) 45-chapter Golden Age AU fic. They're going to be in a series. Or maybe I'll split the 45 chapter, idk, i only finished outlining it yesterday XD

However, I won't be posting any fics or content until after April 10th bc of Ramadan and I want to focus on myself and my peace of mind and mental health. But, I have a goal to post content every week after April 10th since I already wrote halfway through like three fics and have complete and full outlines for like 10-ish fics, one of which is a multichap. So keep a look out for that!

For now, whatever I've posted is it :)

Tysm for the ask! It warms my heart so much because I've been having a stressful and hard few weeks and especially today ^^

#quotidian asks #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #radiates-confusion

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maochira · 1 year

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I know you won't do Snuffy as a father figure yet, so can you do the father trio reacting their child being a mukbang star when they're not playing soccer? Like their child is wearing a disguise so they won't find out. I can imagine their child being put into some kind of boot camp after the father trio found out because they need to stay fit when they are playing soccer. I asked this because I am currently obvious with watching mukbang because of the yummy foods.

Sorry if you expected something serious, but I had no ideas what to write for this. So I let my friend @deerangle3 write this and the way I know them, it's gonna turn into a crackfic. I hope it at least makes you laugh LMAO (Edit after Claire wrote this: we made @wasfuerpainman read this out loud it was the funniest shit ever)

A/N: I FUCKING LOVE SNUFFY!!!!! I WILL ABSOLUTELY INCLUDE HIM!!!! *kisses snuffy passionately on the cheek in a platonic way* ALSO!! "Y/Nzilla" is the username, yk like godzilla but with your name (because youre a god😉😉)

"MHhhhhh~ whis food is so goowd!" Y/N stuffed their mouth with fresh deep-fried shrimps, breaded generously with crunchy panko. The camera was focused on their visage. The live-chat was speeding by at insane speeds.

Footsuckurerer:'Y/Nzilla! I love your content! Eat my flesh please Y/N-Sama!'

Germs985:'HIHIAHIHUGIUAHDASKJ YNNYNYNNYNYNNN!!/"(!")( I LOE YOU PLEASE GIBE ME OYuR ATTENSHPM!!!😍😍🌹❤️❤️🥰🥰🫶'

Such were some of the silly comments Y/N would see every day in the Live Chat.

"Pahahah, they don't know..." Y/N thought to themself, almost snickering. The 'Y/Nsters' as they liked to call themselves, were so obsessed yet they weren't even aware of Y/Ns true appearance.

Yes! A disguise! Y/N wore an obnoxious green wig, though it was worn perfectly, in a way that it looked completely natural (well, dyed, but attached to the head). On top of that, some nicely bedazzled Sunglasses, completely hiding the eyes.

Y/N's Parents were completely unaware of Y/N doing Mukbang. They made good money as well, but knew that their parents probably wouldn't fully approve of Mukbang, because they would rather have their child play soccer. This was also the majority of the reason for the disguise. Another reason was just not wanting to be recognized, or not wanting to show their face to the entire internet.

Y/N lived in a large house with their 4 dads, Noel Noa, Marc Snuffy, Chris Prince and Lavinho. Who knew if they were dating or just friends raising a kid together. From a young age, Y/N was playing soccer. As soon as they learned to walk, there was always a ball o kick. They were never super insistent, never forced soccer on Y/N but it was still a relevant part. In school, Y/N was known for their great soccer skills, as well as captain of the soccer club!

Y/N takes another passionate, big bite of the shrimpilicious sustenance. "mmh mmh mMMMMHH!!! whe fwawors awe mewting on my tONGUE!" Y/N mumbled, the food making their words hardly coherent.

timeskip

"HEYY Y/NNNNNNN MY LitTLE MOUSE!!!" Lavinho jumped at Y/N, hugging them. "WAnna play some FOOTBALL!!""!"!"§"§"!?"??"§???"

Y/N nodded, they assumed their other dads would also be there, and they were right! They kicked the ball back and forth until Chris mentioned something. "Guys, have you seen this new Mukbanger? They're like, totally silly." Chris chuckled. Noa looked at Chris with a "HM?!??!"-ish look. "Since when are you in the Mukbang-Community?" "I'm in it for the nutritional knowledge! Y'know, like, whats good for my muscles." He proudly closed his eyes with a confident expression and flexed his biceps. "I do that too sometimes." Snuffy said.

"Who do you mean?" Y/N asked, slightly afraid of if Chris meant them. "Uhhh they wear a green wig I think!" He raised his finger in an intelligent manner. "Oh, I don't think I've heard of them..." Y/N pretended.

"I think I have"

The conversation went back and forth about this mukbanger. Eventually, Chris pulled up a picture of you in your disguise. "They seem kinda familiar don't they?" Snuffy asked, scratching his chin in thought. "Ya think so?" Lavinho asked, looking a little more closely. "HmMMmmMmmmmmm.... let's just eat dinner." Noa said, walking back toward the house.

The five of them enjoyed a yummy yummy dinner. "I could use these leftovers for my stream tomorrow..." Y/N thought to themself.

timeskip

"Y/N!?!?!?? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN WIG??? AND EATING???? aRE YOU ajsdk---.ajniu THAT MUKBANGER!??!?!?!??" Chris was in utter shock. He caught them red-handed. Y/N immediately shut down the stream. Chris wasn't supposed to be home! "DAD THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!" but Chris had already run out of the room and called your other dads. Oh No!!!

"Mukbang? You??" Snuffy looked at them, a little shocked, or was it amazement? "Do you at least make money?" Lavi asked. "Yea..." Y/N looked down at the ground, perhaps slightly embarrassed. "How much?" Noa wanted to know.

"Uhm,,, like around 3000 on average, but it all depends on how many donations I get..." They mumbled quietly. They all looked a little shocked. Good shocked. "That's pretty... pretty good." Snuffy nodded approvingly.

"Please don't be mad at me..." Tears started welling up in Y/Ns eyes.

"Oh Y/N, Why would we be mad about such a thing?" Noa went in to hug Y/N and the others soon followed, leading to a comforting group hug. "As long as you're safe, happy and healthy, we don't have an issue with it." Snuffy gave them a gentle smile. Chris agreed "As long as your grades don't slip, or you reach an unhealthy weight or something, were totally fine with you doing this as a... side job?"

"Yeah, and you're using a disguise right? So it'll be harder for strangers to find you." Lavi added.

They weren't mad in the slightest, just a little confused maybe, but proud for sure, because they had gotten quite successful! Y/N promised them they would play more soccer, or at least do more physical exercise with them, so that Y/N would stay healthy and not become the next Nicocado Avocado. Surprisingly, Snuffy even suggested that they could join Y/N on a stream sometime. It would surely bump their viewers if a world-class soccer player ate Mukbang with Y/Nzilla! Yet alone four!

timeskip

Sockersucker: "WHAT !?!?!? NOEL NoA STUFFING HIS FACE WITH HOT DOGS?!??!?!"

KeineHoelle: "THIS is the most epic colllabb ever! How did you get into contact with the pro soccer players?"

SalesBadman: "CHRIS PRINC?!?? LAVINSNO!?!?????ßßß?? SNUAFY!? NAO NOEL!??? WHAAAATT IS GOING ON!?!?? I better call my wife."

SnuffyLover69: "OMGOMGOMG SNUFFY AND Y/NZILLA THIS IS INSANE I AM GOING INSANE I WILL SELL MY ORGANS FOR YOU Y/NAND SNUFFY I AM IN ABSOLUTE FISBELIEF HOLY MOLY MACKARONY WHAT INT EH FUCKING BANANAASS!!!!!"

Chat was going absolutely insane, seeing these world-class players eating yummy hotdogs with this odd-looking Mukbanger. The viewer count spiked up to 20k, from the usual 3-5k. More and more people joined the stream, the viewer count kept rising and the donations went insane as well. This was the best day yet, career-wise.

It was a very wholesome eating session with Y/N and their dads.

YUM!

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sortanonymous · 7 months

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A vent about my uncertain writing (distant) future that really doesn't matter much

You know, it's weird whenever I think about what I could write after Meta Knightmare is over (which I'll just say that I know when that ending will come). I mean I could just eek out some more side stuff, some of which I've wanted to make for a while (might even include some Kirby stuff not connected to MKM), and I would like to make YouTube videos of whatever I want instead of just lounging on AO3 forever. But I keep thinking up ideas of fics I could make for other things I love like Steven Universe and especially Angry Birds (definitely have some thoughts for the latter). At the same time though, with what ideas I have for those, I'm worried that it would just be too much like a retread of Meta Knightmare. I might just make another action-tinted dramedy filled with so many crazy AU ideas with varying amounts of canon compliance that it borders on crackfic, yet tons of heart and found family stuff at the same time. Who knows if I'd even move on past the outline format? Granted, I love using those tropes with Kirby, but I'm worried that if I apply it to those other things, then I may as well just be writing Meta Knightmare again but with a new coat of paint like it's a new LEGO game. Not to mention that it feels comfortable with Kirby because not only is there plenty of material in the base games, but the lore is so extensive while leaving plenty of stuff wide open to the point where even flipping fundamental canon on its head feels suprisingly alright. But while Angry Birds has the characters to potentially work in my style, the world and stuff is nowhere near as extensive to have an easy time fitting into something good unless I try to just rip off the movie or maybe go straight for Angry Birds Stella (which I love, but I'd like to give the main flock some love first, especially the found family idea with ALL OF THEM, even the more forgotten ones). Steven Universe, which I haven't even thought that much about, kinda has the opposite problem in that while it has tons of lore, it's largely open and shut in a way that it isn't that fun to imagine changes to it. Not to mention that even if I tried some of that family theme stuff, a lot of that in my existing work is kinda inspired heavily by SU in the first place. It'd be kinda like if a growing rock band with heavy inspiration from the Beatles tried covering the Beatles and trying to make it sound way different from either of them while still respecting the feel of the originals. Good luck with that. (Admittedly though, I did just come up with a Spinel AU idea that absolutely blew my mind, but I'm not so sure if I'll still have the mood for it by the time MKM's over, which won't be for quite a while. I might just throw it out there for someone else to write in the comments if anyone asks.)

Why am I even talking about this? I've got 12 of the 26 chapters of MKMIII left to write with 4 already published! If I'm no more than halfway through my first fanfic project, then maybe I shouldn't be thinking just yet about my next project. Also now Magolor's in the fic and with how much Magolor instantly makes fans flock to any fic, I may as well bask in the hits while I can! A big thank you to my readers, by the way!

#meta knightmare fanfic #I'll explain the steven universe au i thought up if you press me on it #vent about nothing important #writers on tumblr #writer's block that won't actually happen until like a year from now #what am i even doing #don't be too shocked if i repost this in a year and laugh at it #steven universe au?#ramblings #for both my followers i'm sorry that you still aren't getting the kirby stuff i promised #i'm doing fine i just felt a little uncertain about my writing future and got my ramble on

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abliafina-18782 · 1 year

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Roast chicken

Pairing: Joe Goldberg X Rhys Montrose

Author's Note: I've used quotes from the show for an extra bit of flare, I'm not claiming any of those as my own writing but I won't point them out as it'd interrupt the flow of the fic. This is very much a crackfic, don't take it too seriously. ✨

Warning: Canon typical Violence, stalking, possessive behaviour

Word count: ~6k

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. There are so many ways in which you can have breakfast. Bacon and eggs. Cereal. Marmalade on toast. Coffee. The options are endless.

I have learned a lot about breakfast since coming to the UK. They have a full English breakfast with fried eggs, sausages, bacon, baked beans, and ripe fried tomatoes and mushrooms. Have that with some tea or orange juice and it’s a whole buffet compared to America’s breakfast, and that says a lot for the country that originated McDonald's.

I have never been much of a breakfast guy. Perhaps it’s stereotypical of a coffee drinker, I’m the one that’ll be fine as long as I’ve got my caffeine in the morning. It wasn’t until I met you that I started appreciating breakfast for what it was.

Breakfast is a chance to set the tone for the rest of your day. You can’t go wrong if you begin your day with a belly full of a full English. It took me a while to get used to it, I usually felt satisfied after only a few spoonfuls of baked beans, however, you helped me slow down and enjoy the start of my morning. Any morning is a good morning as long as it is with you.

Which is why it’s so weird that you’ve stopped eating breakfast.

Being the mayor of London isn’t easy for you, and yet that is no reason to neglect your basic needs. You say you don’t have time because you’re running late or you are simply not hungry. I have a hard time believing that. Your appetite is like no other. The first time I cooked dinner for us, you helped yourself to two extra servings, saying it was the best meal you ever had. I’m not a chef by any means, I mean I know my way around the kitchen, though being married to Love Quinn came with its benefits.

I am trying to get you to eat better, though it’s hard when you won’t tell me what’s wrong. You insist that everything’s okay, except I know you better than that. You’re not eating the lunches or snacks I pack for you. You say I don’t have to pack lunches for you, but let me ask you this, Rhys. What kind of a partner am I if I let you go hungry?

I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt to see my efforts go to waste. I’m greeted with half-empty boxes and unopened granola bars whenever I clear out your bag. Of course, you’re not obligated to eat the food I prepare for you. It is just my way of showing that I care about you.

Because I do, I care about you, Rhys. More than I have cared for anyone in my life. You helped me come to terms with my true nature. You accept me for who I am and I am never going to find that in another person again. Which is why I have to get to the bottom of what’s bothering you.

I know you wouldn’t like it if I followed you to work. You’d call it an invasion of privacy when I’m only trying to help you. So it is with perfect timing really when I have to run some errands by your office. Whether or not testing the coffee at London's Kitchen Café constitutes as an errand is up for debate.

#goldrose #joe x rhys #rhys x joe #joe goldberg #rhys montrose #ao3 link #ao3 fanfic #you season 4

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d6b-onion · 5 months

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(thanks duo for finally making me take the plunge and getting an account on here)

That means I can talk about writing even when I'm not publishing anything! I'll take the opportunity to talk about my current plans and ideas. Right now I have two projects I actually have stuff written for.

The first is a continuation to A Void in a Mystical Land, my lipogram collection (that means it never uses the letter E). It's an intermission about mystia that is lighter in tone. Haven't touched it in a bit, and I'm considering writing in some RiguMysti because I know how much y'all love that. However, it's tricky writing without E's, all the more so when there's a character named Wriggle.

The second is a crackfic. The good stuff. I want it to be a surprise so I won't say too much, but I assure you, you cannot remotely guess what it is. I already have one chapter written, but I'm waiting on the second chapter to publish it, you'll understand why.

As for stuff I haven't begun yet, I do want to continue "Sometimes All it Takes..." at some point in the future. However I've written myself into something a bit complicated and I don't exactly know how I'll resolve it. That's what a lack of forward planning does to you. It started as a short oneshot idea and it's now 2 chapters and 13k words long and might double in length before it ends.

I want to write about Momiji some day. I really like her character (and design), but she gets so little representation in writing, and zun doesn't seem very willing to give her a single line of dialogue anywhere.

I also want to do more character study stuff in the future. The character I'm most interested in writing about is Junko. My pipe dream is making a long, psychological and progressive exploration of her character that has her grow out of her constant fury, and perhaps find more at the end. But after taking a look at canon, that's a monumental task.

And hey, some other random idea might just pop in my head, so this isn't exhaustive. Be also aware that I write in bursts and that I don't hold myself to any form of schedule, so all of my writing has a permanent lack of ETA.

don't worry the silliness comes back after this post

#touhou #writing

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pepperf · 1 year

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Fic questions meme: going old school with 33

33: How do you feel about crack?

I love crackfic! I miss writing it, but it takes a certain energy to write it—both in terms of 'needing to channel a certain vibe' and 'needing actual energy'—and I'm really more of a 'needing a nap' kind of zone, these days.

I'm also kind of a hypocritical snob about it. Humour is a craft, like any other, and doing it well takes love, respect, and understanding of what you're doing—and a lack of sticks up arses. Good crackfic is very hard to sustain, and it's easy to tip over into, well, bad writing, with chaos and randomness as a poor substitute for actual humour. I won't—and couldn't—point out individual fics that I think aim at being crackfic and fail, but in terms of professional authors, I once threw a Robert Rankin book against a wall in sheer anger, for precisely this reason (hahaha wouldn't a time-travelling sprout be hilarious. It's so random. Gimme a break). I think there are more funny tumblr posters than funny professional authors anyhow, because it's seen as lesser, like porn (or smut, erotica, whatever it gets called). And similarly, I think people underestimate the power that it can have, when done right.

There are maybe three published authors that I rate in terms of writing what I'd consider crackfic: Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, and John M. Ford (yes, all dudes, but that's a reflection of the biases of the publishing industry, and of my complete lack of research into this, rather than women not being funny) (I also love Spider Robinson, who writes shaggy scifi dog stories of breathtaking artistry, but he's not as consistent). They've all written stuff that I think is absolute genius, while also being fucking hilarious, and in very different ways. Lots of other authors are hilarious in bursts within overall serious stories (some of my favourite books!), or funny all the time while not actually writing stories (also an incredible skill!).

So yeah, you've activated my super-secret I Have Strong Opinions About Humour In Fiction button, lol.

Thank you!

Questions here.

#mememe #yes Jo I will get to your questions soon but you gave me like 6 #and I talk a LOT

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binaryeclipse · 2 years

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Hello love 💕

Not sure which of these you’ve already done, but how about 7, 13, 43, and 47?

Hello honey thank you 💋

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

The first ever? Like when I was 12 and knew nothing? t was for the Artemis Fowl fandom 🙈 I think it was probably crackfic poking fun at characters and involved memory loss and--honestly it was probably really offensive and ableist because I was 12 and knew nothing and the internet in 2002 was lawless. And I was grossed out by romance so you know I was making fun of the popular ships.

Children on the internet, everyone!

This is why I don't judge anyone below 18. I just ignore them because they're dumb and they know nothing. I was there.

13. Talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you?

I enjoy doing secret santas and it surprises me every time because there's so much anxiety and vulnerability writing something for someone and I hate hate hate being vulnerable. But the payoff is so good when you make someone happy. So it's worth it, I think, when it goes well. I've had it not go well before, and yet I keep coming back for that pleasant high when it goes spectacularly right.

43. how did writing change you?

Writing gave me a creative outlet when art lost all its joy for me in high school when I made it my primary focus in IB (and, come to think of it, my ex's constant criticisms of my work ethic and talent probably had an effect on this too that I haven't started to unpack yet even after 13 years 😬).

I won't say writing saved my life but it definitely gave me joy when I thought I would never create again. I was writing before this but not in a way that like... I never identified myself as a writer before that moment. I still saw myself as an artist, doing fanart and things like that. Except I wasn't doing fanart anymore. Art made me want to scream. Art was painful. So when that was taken from me, when I couldn't find the happiness and every time I picked up a pencil I just hated every second of it... I turned to writing. The moment I started to see myself as a writer was the salvation I needed when something I loved died inside me.

47. what story are you most proud of?

Hmmmmmm

On some level I'm proud of all of them. I don't put things I don't enjoy reading on the internet.

Of my completed stories it's probably Light Up The Trenches Where My Heart Lies. It's finished. There's definitely things I would do differently now but I love it for what it is and I'm proud to say I wrote it.

Of the stories I'm currently working on... I have equal amounts of pride in kick at the darkness (until it bleeds daylight), Blueshift and The Knight Errant. They are all very different stories doing different things and I can't choose one over the other.

from this fic ask game

#ask game

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sybilius · 4 years

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if you ever feel like it PLEASE talk about the aesthetics of masculinity in gbu i would love to hear your thoughts

I thought a lot about what exactly I did mean when I said that cause it's more of a deep deep feeling than anything else -- I'll begin by saying I'm a physics PhD student and a fanfic writer, not a literary analyst of any kind, so with respect to textual analysis I'd have to defer to others on the subject.

But since you're asking-- my prevailing feeling of the masculinity in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is that it's so pervasive that no other narratives seem to exist. It's almost innocent in how self centered the fantasy is-- and I do think of GBU as a fantasy film where Sergio Leone lets his self insert (Tuco) run wild, and offers a few truisms on the insanity of war. (If you're interested in my half baked thoughts on GBU and war, I have a series of posts documented here where I compare/contrast them with a fanfiction).

In some sense the trio have three different contrasting views of the masculine lawless antihero -- ideal (Blondie), evil/gone too far (Angel Eyes) and everyday (Tuco). It's weird to say because I don't like assigning "masculine" or "feminine" to any particular traits-- but it's more like the idea of the feminine (or any other gender expression) just doesn't exist in Leone's world.

If women appear, they are to demonstrate the characters utter disinterest in them -- this is brief in GBU, Angel Eyes calloused nature as he beats a woman indiscriminately for information, or addresses a woman's curiosities by calling Blondie a "golden haired angel". It's more overt in "For a Few Dollars More", where a flirtatious innkeepers wife arouses absolutely no interest for Manco.

(Lest this attract the attentions of other nerds such as I, I am aware of the deleted scene where Manco and Mary have sex. However...seeing as this is not included in the actual text of the film; I rest my case).

To take a step back, my general feeling is that Leone is playing so intimately with the fantasy of being a ne'er do well manly cowboy bounty hunter, that women or any alternative ways of existing really just might as well be lampshades in his world.

That isn't an evil thing btw! I love GBU with my heart and soul. But yeah, it is why I said a little while back I couldn't write a genderswap fanfic au of any kind without it being so different I might as well be writing original fiction. The whole thing is male power fantasy extreme :)

To wit, the only gender stuff that seems thematically relevant would be to have any or all of the trio be trans men. There's a number of trans masc leaning folks in the GBU fandom who identify with Blondie; and his lack of history as well as masculine ideal. Re-exploring the film from a more self aware gender lens (ie. Masculinity and it's ideals are the focus, but the alternatives to masculinity actually exist) which make a compelling exploration of the world. There is one existing trans!Angel Eyes fic, though it's more of a cute crackfic :)

In my "talking won't save you" fanfiction an underlying theme is the failures of (masculine) communication; or rather, exploring characters whose sense of affection has been replaced entirely by violence, to the point where emotions are something to fear and hide from. The instability of this way of being is contrasted with another relationship in the story, between two OCs. I don't really ascribe to their relationship femininity per se, more so that I needed women to exist in the world for me to care about it any further than a hatefuck fic and a really weird five times fic. I will say, however, I think it's thematically relevant to today that the ladies of my story are providers of emotional labor. They got their own struggles and flaws though for sure!

Thanks for the ask, this was fun to think about ! :)

#my meta #masculinity #the good the bad and the ugly

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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I'm in a fandom where there's a lot of (some would say too many) minors. Which is fine in and of itself. Even though the media technically isn't for them (the movie was rated R), the stage adaptation certainly brought in a wave of new fans, and that's always a good thing. In fact, I'd say most are fans of the play and haven't even seen the movie in a while or at all. And these kids are creating things, mostly fanfic and art, and it's genuinely amazing.

The problem is most of the content (the fanfics) is crap. And I don't mean like it's not my thing or their ideas suck, no, some of the things they're writing about are about my blurbos, and their ideas are great! Every idea is or has the potential to be *chef's kiss*. Just the execution is bad. Basic SPAG is out the window, "no betas we die like men" (I know it's a meme but what they really mean is no proofreaders smdh), bare-bones dry as hell telling not showing, and there's just so much of it. And I get it, they're kids, they're trying, they're learning, they're going to suck. I was also a kid and my writing sucked complete monkey butt. But there doesn't seem to be a crumb of improvement happening anywhere. And I know change is gradual, but when you pump out 100 actual fanfics in a year or less, there should be some growth, you know what I mean? I should be able to read your first-ever fic and your most recent fic and notice, "wait, something is different here!" but that's never the case.

Most if not all is objectively garbage, and they keep eating it up like it's gold. And the objectively nicer fics, the ones with proper SPAG and clear research, that captures a character voice so clearly especially when it's not the Canon Voice, that takes so much time to craft and polish and are so rich with detail, depth, complexity, and nuance (and are, admittedly, long as hell) get barely a glance, much less a comment. It hurts. All that effort and no one cares. So many good writers aren't writing anymore and I'm tired of junky fast food. I want a quality homecooked meal by that weird aunt I never see but I know makes some good fuckin lasagna.

It's really fucking weird how that's such a thing, the crackfic you shat out in an hour gets all the kudos and comments while the AU/UA you slaved over for days, weeks, months, years even, gets maybe two comments if you're lucky, and one isn't a reply. All that effort and for what if no one cares? I'll consume it because I made it, but I want others to try too, that's why I brought it to the table. To share. And it's not even a rarepair or a "I don't like that char/pair" thing because a lot of people are multishippers. My main pairs aren't the most popular, but it's pretty up there. The cake comic only works if people actually come up to the table. If no one comes up, what happens?

I suppose it has something to do with instant gratification, doesn't it? The more content you pump out, the more there is to consume, the more they'll eat it up because cheap garbage is an endless supply while gourmet food is a luxury most can't afford. And I know there's also the whole "people don't like waiting so they won't read WIPs" (at the same time, slowburns are immensely popular?) but on the other side of the coin there's "no one is interacting with WIPs which is why they never get finished if the author hasn't moved on from the fandom because [reason]". I know that's why *I* won't post anything til it's done, or it's a oneshot. Attention spans are so short nowadays, and if details are not spoonfed to readers with airplane noises, they won't use their brains to pick up on the nuance, and it's shit. It's shit storytelling and I hate it so damn much.

I tried reading a BNF's most popular fic in spite of the fact I don't ship the ship like everyone else and their mom, and I couldn't get past the first part of the first chapter. Not because of the ship (the whole point of the fic is them getting together so they're not together at the start, obviously) but because the writing was so incredibly mid. Like, this is what everyone's creaming their panties about? This thing? Really???? And I thought, well, they put out a new oneshot recently, I'll read that and see where they're at. Their most popular fic took a long time to craft and they had to have gotten better over the years, right?

Spoiler alert: they didn't.

I don't understand.

And they've got such a wide reach, I keep seeing their very distinctive art style and people praising the fuck out of their mediocre content I just ended up blocking everything and anything having to do with them.

I know so much of this is "be the change you want to see in the world you bitter old bitch" and "if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself ya dumbfuck" but I'm really tired, burnt out, and I want to relax a bit. I read and rip into shitfics and they make my blood boil with how incredibly bad they are and I want to write just to spite them because I know I can do better, I have done better, but I can't do that right now (and that's incredibly irritating because I want to). And sure, fandom isn't serious. But it also doesn't have to suck this much ass. Really makes you appreciate the gems buried hidden under all the rock and dirt and manure.

Gaah, sorry for all this. I just have a lot of frustration and I genuinely hate the state of the fandom. Clearly creativity around these parts is named Persephone; she's gone to Hell and she ain't coming back for a long, long, painfully long time.

Thanks for listening. Again, sorry for my rambling rant. I love reading your replies so if you have anything to add, I'd love to know!

Heh. This is often the case in a fandom with more enthusiasm than experience.

Some people do improve over time from exposure and practice... But writing 100 fics won't do much if the writers are only reading other similar fics and nothing else. Moreover, if most of the audience is similarly inexperienced, they're not going to be able to see the lack of quality you do. They genuinely like the crappy stuff and create an echo chamber where that style is lauded.

Short attention spans matter some, but I don't think that's the primary culprit here.

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